Order of Man - Cornell： Where Have the Real Men Gone？｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 We're all the real men.

00:00:01.380 Well, you told them not to be men. 1.00

00:00:03.360 You told them to act like women. 1.00

00:00:05.520 You told them to sit down. 1.00

00:00:07.660 You told them to shut up.

00:00:09.440 You told them to color within the lines. 0.61

00:00:11.720 You told them they don't have a place here in society.

00:00:14.780 You neutered them. 0.97

00:00:16.720 You neutered them. 0.97

00:00:17.940 And you did it on purpose.

00:00:19.540 And you did it to the great detriment of our society. 0.70

00:00:22.640 You can't neuter men and expect them to step up.

00:00:27.220 Men, we've got a lot to talk about.

00:00:29.240 a lot has happened this weekend or this week and specifically i want to address this cornell

00:00:36.080 controversy now i made a post about what i thought about the issues after looking at it and diving

00:00:43.500 deep into it and i can't say that i know everything but one thing i am good at i'm willing to admit

00:00:50.560 is that i can look at the nuance of situations and realize that it's not always so black and

00:00:56.760 white. And there's a lot of, I don't want to say gray area, but there's a lot of nuance.

00:01:03.280 So one of the comments that I received is that there is no controversy about this.

00:01:07.700 We all know what the situation, the problem is. Well, clearly that's a ridiculous thing to say, 0.89

00:01:13.120 because if there was no controversy, we wouldn't be talking about it so much.

00:01:18.260 So what I want to do with you today is talk about the fact that it is a controversy,

00:01:24.540 talk about what i've actually seen with the case we're also going to talk about uh the narrative

00:01:30.940 that i see primarily driven by what i would call the doctrine of popular culture or just or just

00:01:37.220 pop culture what is popular currently but we're also going to get into the difference between

00:01:41.940 manliness and masculinity and why that's so important in the discussion people continue

00:01:46.560 to buck me on this, but I promise you rational level-headed people, men and women will see it

00:01:54.860 my way more and more as we progress. And I'll share that with you today. But we're also going

00:02:00.180 to be talking about what we as men can do to actually address the situation. And there is a

00:02:05.480 real discussion around men and masculinity and manliness that we as men ought to address.

00:02:12.860 So those are the four parts I'm going to address with you today. So let's, let's break it down

00:02:15.960 with number one let's talk about what happened if you've been living under a rock you may not know

00:02:21.500 but for everybody else who's not living under that rock we know that there were seven men who have

00:02:27.120 been accused of and that's the right verbiage it's important we use the right language but have been

00:02:34.100 accused of not convicted of not indicted of accused of a civil complaint that they have

00:02:45.840 raped a woman. And this is Jane Doe is who she goes by. She, her, her information is not public 0.74

00:02:53.160 rightfully. So I get that, but these seven men have been accused of drugging and sexually

00:03:00.740 assaulting and raping her. Part of the story, a big part of the story is that when she had 0.70

00:03:08.720 originally come out with these allegations that was in 2024 now we're in 2026 the story has changed

00:03:18.080 there's it's it's a lot less favorable to the men those seven men than it was initially when she had

00:03:24.560 made those original complaints to cornell university and i believe the police as well

00:03:29.320 in a civil suit not a criminal suit but a civil suit but the one of the big things that has come

00:03:34.080 out more recently is that there's some sort of a chat thread where 50 other men are talking about

00:03:43.020 how easy this woman is come up and get what you want and it's it's bad to say the least it's a 0.96

00:03:51.300 very bad look to say the absolute least uh these men are vile they're disgusting they're taking 0.98

00:03:59.380 advantage of the people that quite frankly i believe that we are called to lead and serve

00:04:04.540 and it's horrible and i also think at the same time that there is a difference between

00:04:12.100 legal culpability and moral culpability now those who want to be agitated want to be mad

00:04:20.960 want to be fired up want to look for what's wrong in men want to affirm the narrative they've already

00:04:26.680 thought cannot for whatever reason seem to differentiate between legal and moral culpability

00:04:35.020 legal culpability look if these if these men are tried by a jury of their peers and they have been

00:04:41.600 found guilty of raping this woman then we ought to throw the book at them i want to make that very

00:04:46.600 clear i do not advocate for this obviously i hope it's obvious i do not condone it i will not be

00:04:53.040 silent on it. Our job as men is to protect, to provide, and preside for ourselves, for our

00:04:59.800 families, our communities, and for those who are incapable of doing it themselves. And that is 0.60

00:05:04.980 those who are compromised. Alcohol abuse, drug abuse, they're compromised. So there's a legal

00:05:12.820 culpability potentially, and that ought to go through the legal system. I'm trying to give you

00:05:17.720 a very level-headed rational approach to this because most people same as the lindsey clancy

00:05:24.320 case that we talked about several weeks ago most people just get agitated and fired up and can't

00:05:30.760 even think about opposing ideas or concepts or insights and it creates a real problem on social

00:05:38.960 media and social media is just designed to rile us all up so let's be level-headed about this

00:05:44.360 there potentially is i'm not saying there is but there is potentially a legal culpability and if

00:05:50.780 that is the case then that book ought to be thrown at those young men and and frankly if any man

00:05:57.840 rapes a woman i i believe well i'll just go ahead and say i believe in two things castration 0.68

00:06:05.420 physical castration not chemical physical castration uh and or the death penalty because 0.99

00:06:12.860 because you might as well kill a woman you might as well if if if you are going to violate 0.88

00:06:22.020 a woman in that way that is going to be with her forever and depending on the circumstances 0.99

00:06:29.020 from where i sit could potentially be worse than death now i'm not in that situation i've never

00:06:36.340 been in that situation but i imagine that it's it's horrific to say the least so there's there's

00:06:42.640 potentially potentially a legal culpability responsibility here and then there's also the

00:06:49.520 morality of it and this is the this is where it gets brought into question because this young

00:06:55.700 woman's testimony has changed over the past couple years it's a lot more favorable in her position

00:07:03.140 today than it was two years ago like if you actually look at the testimony you actually

00:07:09.360 look at what is being those young men are being accused of uh it it's different it is it's

00:07:17.080 honestly it's different and you need to look at it before you start running your mouth about

00:07:21.580 how how you know it's only on them and we don't know yet and this is why an investigation is so

00:07:28.200 important um but from a moral standpoint from what i can gather based on her original testimony

00:07:38.740 and it could have been frankly that she was just embarrassed um it could have been that she she

00:07:45.140 didn't you know want to stir up trouble or want to bring down wrath upon her i mean there's a lot

00:07:50.760 of reasons why a woman might make those decisions and if and if she's telling the truth then all the 0.91

00:07:55.200 power to her if she's not then that's just as horrible frankly i i think she ought to be

00:08:00.780 responsible for whatever a man could potentially face if we have false allegations that's maybe a

00:08:06.780 different story but there is a moral ramification to this and what i would suggest to you guys and

00:08:13.140 i've been talking about it now for 11 plus years this is why it's so this is not why this is a

00:08:22.300 reason why it's so important that we live moral lives your morality matters and when you start to 0.98

00:08:31.460 degrade yourself morally or degrade other women morally. It doesn't matter about the legal 1.00

00:08:42.920 implications when we're talking about that discussion. The reality is, is that we all

00:08:47.000 ought to be righteous. We all ought to work hard to protect women. We all ought to work hard to

00:08:52.660 honor and respect women. We all ought to work hard to be the protectors, providers, and presiders 0.50

00:08:57.980 that i believe morally righteously spiritually we're called to be

00:09:04.600 and i get tired of hearing people talk about legal ramifications without the morality or morality

00:09:14.260 implications without the legal side of things those two are should be in a healthy society

00:09:20.120 inextricably connected you know when you look at the lindsey clancy case uh it we've had a lot of

00:09:27.600 women i mean a lot millions literally millions of women talk about you know how horrible men are and

00:09:35.020 uh you know he he did this and patrick was responsible for this and that and and outside

00:09:41.540 of that she had postpartum and she was dealing with mental health issues now on this conversation

00:09:47.680 it's a little bit of a different story you know women a lot of these women i'm not saying all

00:09:53.460 women but a lot of these women will say you know these people are horrible and masculinity is a 0.99

00:09:59.700 mental disorder i've heard actually i've heard that which is wild uh and that all men are horrible 1.00

00:10:05.620 evil evil villainous scum and yet they don't apply the same sort of leniency for lack of better term 0.97

00:10:14.360 to the conversation and that's just a double it's a double standard so i'm going to try to give you 0.98

00:10:21.280 a very level-headed rational commentary on what i've seen because i've dug into this one actually

00:10:27.520 i didn't jump on the bandwagon immediately and talk about how horrible she was or how horrible

00:10:32.700 they were or cornell i didn't do any of that because i like to see things play out a little

00:10:38.020 bit before i start giving you my opinion and it is my opinion but my opinion on a case like this

00:10:44.620 but what i'm frustrated with not only that these men are morally culpable i have no doubt about

00:10:53.300 that in my mind okay even if she consented they still were taking advantage based on what i've

00:10:59.880 seen are still taking advantage of a young woman who was mentally compromised i mean to say the

00:11:08.920 least so although we might find out that they are not legally culpable we can definitely

00:11:18.360 i'm pretty confident in this say they are morally culpable and that's why it's so important we talk

00:11:26.160 about the two but the narrative that i get frustrated with outside of what i just shared 0.99

00:11:30.380 with you is that we hear this that all men are villainous all men are evil all men are scum 0.91

00:11:38.300 and what i want to tell you right now and i'm going to give you a disclaimer this is an important 0.98

00:11:43.040 disclaimer i'm not excusing evil vile villainous behavior when i speak the reality of who men are

00:11:56.260 are there evil immoral vile villainous men yes absolutely and also this jane doe might

00:12:08.020 still be a victim okay are there evil vile villainous woman yes absolutely but to say that

00:12:18.580 all men are horrible or the one i see more more often than not lately is the 57 men right the

00:12:26.800 seven men who have been indicted or at least allocated in this in this situation and the 50

00:12:32.860 men who did nothing and if those guys did nothing they're at a minimum culpable of that as well

00:12:36.620 but what you often hear in common narrative is that because 57 men were involved either directly

00:12:45.120 or indirectly people will say well you know we say not all men but here's 57 guys who were all

00:12:51.680 culpable 57 out of four plus billion people on the planet all men are evil i want you to take

00:13:02.580 pause on that for a second and i want you to think deep and hard about the men in your life

00:13:09.900 i don't care if you're a man or a woman think about the men in your life your dad your brothers

00:13:16.280 your boss employees that you have neighbors colleagues co-workers friends

00:13:25.640 you know i don't know about you but the circles that i run in

00:13:29.880 well all of them are good men does that mean they're without fault or without

00:13:36.600 without without struggles of course not i have my own struggles just like you do

00:13:41.320 i would consider myself a good man a good man you know somebody said in one of the comments

00:13:48.040 they said to me something like well uh you know these these boys are just they're going out on

00:13:54.660 their own and they've never been on out on their own. And, uh, you know, they're trying to figure

00:13:59.340 their way out. Look, I've been on my own. I graduated high school. I didn't ever rape a

00:14:04.300 woman. What the hell are you talking about? Okay. Just because somebody is young and goes out and 0.99

00:14:12.660 tries to figure out the world. I mean, I've made mistakes. I have an open container of alcohol in

00:14:20.560 my vehicle. I have an underage drinking ticket. By the way, none of these are public because

00:14:24.900 they've, they've all been expunged or whatever it's called, but I'm, I'm willing to tell you

00:14:28.820 that I got hit when I was, I don't know, 19 years old with a possession of marijuana.

00:14:34.920 I mean, I have some minor things in my life, but I never raped a woman.

00:14:41.860 I never got a woman drunk or high and took advantage of her. So what the hell are you 0.99

00:14:46.880 talking about when you say that, well, they're just trying to figure out their way in life. 0.92

00:14:52.060 What a horrible, horrible way to look at it. And I say that because the overwhelming majority of men

00:14:57.580 aren't engaged in this behavior. And you know that if you're being honest, you know that

00:15:02.120 if you took all of the people in your life, or excuse me, all of the men in your life,

00:15:07.400 and you said, okay, well, you know, I've had some bad experiences and maybe I can put a number on

00:15:13.520 and say two to 3% of the experiences I've had in my life

00:15:16.480 were bad experiences.

00:15:18.000 And people will say, well, it's not all men,

00:15:20.720 but it's always men.

00:15:22.000 Oh, okay.

00:15:23.440 And, and there's 97, 98% of men

00:15:31.180 who don't act like that.

00:15:35.540 Who aren't an issue, who aren't a problem.

00:15:38.140 In fact, they're antithetical to that.

00:15:40.080 They're good and they're righteous and they're moral

00:15:41.920 and they're trying to do the right thing.

00:15:43.140 and yeah maybe they're they get angry sometimes maybe they get loud sometimes maybe they get

00:15:48.340 physical sometimes but you know what people don't complain about regarding men when it hits the fan

00:15:56.200 they don't complain about the strength that men exhibit they don't they don't complain about the

00:16:03.780 natural desire to protect which is also somewhat synonymous with with territorialism

00:16:10.800 protectiveness but we don't complain about it then we only complain about it when it goes south and

00:16:19.760 we should okay we should complain about it when masculinity is used in the wrong way and i'm

00:16:25.460 going to talk about that when i get to part number three of this conversation but guys masculinity is

00:16:30.240 not the problem in fact i would argue that the lack of masculinity is a problem i mean you can

00:16:36.220 look at the statistics and people don't like when i bring this up but you can look at the statistics

00:16:40.720 of a young man who doesn't have a permanent father figure in his life. Look at the rates of drug

00:16:48.520 abuse. Look at the rates of alcohol abuse. Look at the rates of incarceration. Look at the rates

00:16:53.340 of depression and suicide. And you will see that, and you can pull this up very readily, you will see

00:16:59.780 that when there is not a permanent fixture, a permanent healthy male role model in those young

00:17:06.620 men's lives they're much more likely to drink they're much more likely to abuse alcohol they're

00:17:11.420 much more likely to be violent they're much more likely to be involved in violent crime they're

00:17:15.600 much more likely to be depressed they're much more likely to commit suicide what what statistics are

00:17:21.700 we looking at here we're not even having a healthy honest discussion everybody's just trying to talk

00:17:27.900 over each other with with their emotions rather than actually look at the statistics okay if

00:17:34.520 masculinity was truly the problem, then we would see for those households who do not have a male

00:17:42.660 role model in the household, we would see less drug abuse, less alcohol abuse, less violent

00:17:50.880 behavior, less criminal activity, less rates of suicide and depression, higher rates of high

00:17:57.800 school graduation, higher rates of college enrollment, higher income earnings. And none

00:18:04.280 of that is true. And we have a society where we have an increasing situation where fewer and fewer

00:18:13.480 men are involved in their children's lives. So if masculinity was truly the problem, is it safe to

00:18:20.380 assume that for those households who did not have men in the household, that those kids were

00:18:27.560 would be doing better yeah i think that's that that's a fair assumption so why is that not the

00:18:34.460 case we're going to talk about that here in a minute but the last point that i want to make

00:18:40.760 about the narrative that i see is that due process is is the obstacle to justice

00:18:47.700 but we don't operate that way in america okay this whole thing about the me too movement really

00:18:56.440 created a problem. We don't operate that way. Now, look, we can take allegations and we can

00:19:03.360 investigate them and we ought to, but we don't operate based on how we feel. I mean, I saw this

00:19:10.620 stuff with the Lindsay Clancy case and I can't tell you how many people I saw on TikTok that

00:19:14.960 started looking at their cosmic signs and, you know, this person was a Virgo and this person

00:19:20.680 was an Aries and this person was a this and this person was a that. And because the stars aligned

00:19:25.180 on that particular day in this cosmic order that obviously he did it meaning her husband

00:19:31.880 patrick clancy what the hell are we doing i don't i don't know how else to say what are we doing

00:19:38.520 okay we don't operate that way we operate through due process and we can we can formulate opinions

00:19:46.620 we should be able to change our mind like if new information comes to light

00:19:50.480 we should be able to do that right i can't tell you how often i hear people who say

00:19:54.780 well ryan you know you're saying this now but you know 10 years ago when you first started

00:19:58.500 podcasting this is what you said yeah i was 35 years old i wasn't young by any stretch of the

00:20:04.760 imagination but i was 10 years younger than i am now i would like to think i'm a little wiser

00:20:10.260 i would like to think i'm a little more prudent i would like to think that i have the ability to

00:20:16.220 discern right from wrong truth from fiction a little bit better and yet in society we do this

00:20:21.640 thing where it's like, if I ever say anything, I'm obligated to believe that thing, what, for the rest

00:20:26.620 of my life? What a horrible, horrible way to stagnate growth. So whatever I say today, if I

00:20:35.380 find something new tomorrow, I'm going to change my opinion the same way you should. If new information

00:20:43.040 comes to light we ought to be all of us ought to be mature enough to say i was wrong i didn't have

00:20:52.120 that information two days ago i do now and so i was wrong about that and here's my correction

00:20:56.820 but we get so dogmatic we get so tribal we get so arrogant and egotistical that heaven forbid i

00:21:08.900 changed my mind yeah i changed my mind a lot when i get new information or i do some self-reflection

00:21:13.860 that's another one you just reflect and think to yourself well maybe i i was being unkind or

00:21:20.780 not compassionate or maybe i wasn't looking at the data or the facts and i

00:21:25.760 was driven by emotion okay change your mind but we live in a country and i'm so i i thank god for

00:21:35.620 this. We live in a country where due process drives our legal decision-making process. Again,

00:21:41.860 legal and moral, right? But due process is important still. I don't know what those men

00:21:49.540 did because we don't have all the information. Now, what I've seen is incriminating to the

00:21:54.820 highest level to say the least, but I'm going to let the facts play out. But I think there's

00:21:58.820 some other conversations that we can have here, but I do get really tired of the narratives that

00:22:03.000 here that all men are evil, that masculinity is the problem, that that due process of the law

00:22:10.200 is the obstacle to justice. None of that is true. And yet you've got all these people in the peanut

00:22:17.020 gallery just flapping their gums, telling you all these things, and they're letting emotion

00:22:21.620 and ignorance run their decision-making process. And in the meantime, you've got at least eight

00:22:28.680 people, at least eight people, if not 58 people, whose lives will be ruined by the discussions

00:22:37.700 that we're having. Now, some of it justified. Don't get me wrong. If we find out that those

00:22:43.340 seven men raped this woman, their lives should justifiably be ruined. I want to be clear on that. 0.94

00:22:50.180 if we find out that she is misleading or falsely accusing then her life ought to be ruined

00:22:58.960 justifiably so so i'm not saying just because somebody's life will be ruined that it's wrong

00:23:04.680 it might actually be justice but what i am saying is that these are real world scenarios

00:23:11.780 you can take a look at the clancy case that woman murdered her children

00:23:18.340 and women will say no no no no no her defense team didn't even argue that she murdered those 0.66

00:23:24.220 kids she did the case was was she aware enough mentally to be tried for consciously murdering 0.99

00:23:34.480 her children or incapable of understanding and knowing that she did but you know whose life

00:23:41.400 lives are ruined those children's lives are ruined well not ruined they're gone they're

00:23:48.820 not with us anymore her life is ruined patrick clancy's life is i won't say ruined but

00:23:58.340 he's got an uphill battle moving forward these are real situations we're taught these aren't

00:24:05.800 like this is not the real housewives of mormon housewives of utah i don't even know what the

00:24:11.280 shows are called. This is real life. So we ought to treat it with the justice and the patience and

00:24:18.540 the level-headedness it deserves. But let me talk with you guys about what I see being the real

00:24:25.420 issue here, the underlying issue, because we've kind of danced around it a little bit for a while

00:24:29.300 now. But the real issue here is that not all men are the problem and that not masculinity is the

00:24:35.180 problem. We know that. And even the people who say all men are evil, all men are horrible. I had a

00:24:39.620 guy tell me that just just on instagram the other day he's like well it's always men now i think

00:24:45.600 this guy might have been a troll because he said he was a pro-palestine open border lgbtq t plus or

00:24:53.960 whatever it's called i don't even know what it's called but he was in support of all those and i

00:24:57.820 and i can't help but think like i don't even know if that's a man they can't even decide to determine

00:25:04.420 what a man or a woman is so i asked him are you a man and he didn't answer i asked him three times

00:25:09.040 he didn't answer but if he is because that's kind of who he portrays himself to be and he says all

00:25:16.800 men are horrible only i have ever stepped up in situations like these well that's incoherent

00:25:22.200 how can if you say you're a man right you you you can determine whether or not you're a man 0.96

00:25:29.020 apparently and you tell me that all men are horrible and you're the only one that have

00:25:35.420 stepped up. And so I said, well, are all men horrible? He said, yeah, all men, always men

00:25:39.700 are horrible. I said, are you a man? He wouldn't answer it because he knew he was about to get set 0.99

00:25:44.760 up. All these white night males that come in and say, well, men are always the problem. And then 0.97

00:25:51.100 I say, well, are you a problem? Are you like, if you were in that chat, let's say those 50 guys,

00:25:57.880 would you have said something? Well, yeah, of course I would have. Well, then not all men are

00:26:01.920 the problem you just prove the point not all men are the problem so if that's the case what i think

00:26:09.320 we need to realize and what we need to start working towards is understanding how do we move

00:26:13.720 men from this raw unharnessed unbridled version of masculinity into what i call a more mature

00:26:23.340 developed version of manliness and this is something i've been talking about for quite

00:26:28.820 literally 11 years. And people have poked at it and mocked me and ridiculed me for making this

00:26:33.980 distinction. I'm just telling you, I really believe, like I said in the opening, that anybody

00:26:39.600 who's level-headed and honest about this discussion will see things my way if they don't already.

00:26:46.980 There's a difference between masculinity and manliness. Masculinity is amoral. If you look

00:26:53.780 at the definition of masculinity it's a set of characteristics that we attribute to biological

00:27:01.140 males based on their biological makeup primarily hormones and we don't need to get into all the

00:27:06.620 specifics but that's the definition of masculinity that's amoral there's no there's no moral discussion

00:27:13.900 in that so the american psychological association in oh don't quote me i think it was 2019 it might

00:27:23.000 be 2017 you guys can look it up but i think it was 2019 or 17 i can't remember uh they came out

00:27:31.280 with a study and i'm using if you're following me in video on youtube i'm using quotations study

00:27:38.920 this was not a study okay you can poke holes in it all day long and i have and i will and

00:27:44.520 i'll continue to do so but in it their synopsis or their general consensus was that the

00:27:50.940 characteristics and there was four of them they named that we generally attribute to men aka

00:27:58.100 masculinity and they particularly called out dominance competitiveness aggression and stoicism

00:28:05.400 are and i quote inherently toxic to our young men

00:28:09.980 well men are more dominant than women men are generally more competitive than women

00:28:18.960 men are typically more aggressive than women and men are generally more stoic than women

00:28:26.780 so what the american psychological association did and mind you this is the body that determines

00:28:33.420 medical diagnosis and prescription for literally millions and millions of our young men

00:28:39.560 and they'll put them on ssris and they'll try to sedate them and treat them more like women and

00:28:44.640 and effeminize them came out and said who you are because i just explained it dominance

00:28:51.460 competitiveness aggression stoicism who you are is bad young men who you are is bad and you've

00:29:00.220 seen society do this and we know this because if you look at high school dropout rates if you look

00:29:05.160 at college admission if you look at college attendance and grades and even more currently

00:29:10.420 if you look at the amount of women who are entering the workforce relative to the 0.99

00:29:15.200 their male counterparts you can see it's horribly tragic for our young men

00:29:19.260 so there is an active campaign against men some of it is deliberate 1.00

00:29:29.560 some of it is just driven by useful idiots many of which are getting wrapped up in this case and 0.99

00:29:36.960 promoting the wrong narrative. But what I want you to know is that there's a huge difference 0.99

00:29:42.000 between masculinity and manliness. Masculinity is amoral. I know plenty of situations where I

00:29:47.960 want to be aggressive, but I wouldn't call it immoral. I wouldn't even call it evil.

00:29:54.480 I mean, I aggressively pursue my business. Does that make me evil?

00:30:00.280 a guy a guy a man just posted a comment on my post just a day or two ago i think it was on

00:30:10.480 instagram and he said well i define aggression as uh an unprovoked attack on other people

00:30:17.500 that's not could could that be an aggressive move yes but that's not what aggression means

00:30:25.320 and i asked him i said have you ever aggressively pursued a business or promotion

00:30:29.600 have you ever aggressively pursued a win not immorally not illegally just aggressively and

00:30:36.700 he's like yeah okay then clearly you're you're making up a definition that doesn't apply to you

00:30:44.000 you're cherry picking essentially dominance i mean what man worth his weight doesn't want to dominate

00:30:52.420 i want to be the best podcast that there ever was does that make me amoral or excuse me immoral

00:30:59.600 i want to win you know if i'm if i'm competing in basketball with my kids yeah i want to win

00:31:07.080 of course my underlying issue is to teach them competitiveness and teach them how to be better

00:31:11.100 but even competition has created amazing opportunities more advancement more technology

00:31:17.940 more life-saving devices and medication more exploration into space than any other concept

00:31:24.820 in human history now should there be collaboration yeah of course but it doesn't mean that

00:31:32.140 competition is inherently evil so what's the difference well the difference is righteousness

00:31:38.820 guys the difference is god i don't know how else to say it more plainly than that the difference

00:31:45.720 is believing in something that is unflappable that is immovable that is unshakable that stands

00:31:54.560 the test of time and that's our divine creator yeah you have this concept of moral relativism

00:32:03.340 where you know everything's pliable everything's movable and that's part of the problem with what

00:32:09.220 we see in this case with cornell is there are certain people there's a group of people

00:32:15.080 and we'll just say liberals who have no basis to tell us that what that woman or those men

00:32:23.720 did is wrong on a moral level if she participated willingly in drug abuse if she participated

00:32:32.640 willingly willingly in sexual impropriety the left has no no verbiage no language to talk about that

00:32:42.900 in fact what they will say and they try to use language what they will say is that 0.74

00:32:48.400 a woman who's sexually promiscuous is empowered that sex work is is righteous work or at least

00:32:59.820 moral work or maybe at a minimum immoral amoral excuse me 0.92

00:33:04.840 this is the language of the left they will say this all the time is that that's empowering

00:33:11.620 women's rights feminism and in the same conversation they'll say well these guys 0.51

00:33:18.040 took advantage of her well i don't know we we have to figure that out because if she and by her own

00:33:25.300 testimony her first testimony she said that she willingly participated in drug abuse she willingly

00:33:32.580 participated in in alcohol abuse and she willingly participated in sex with multiple men at a time

00:33:42.800 that that's her own testimony that's not me saying that she said that in her original testimony

00:33:48.440 so we need to get away from this idea that just because something is not illegal it's not immoral

00:33:58.800 it is and and quite frankly god god would say that he has said that and i think maybe it's time

00:34:08.640 to start paying attention to it guys look you can get yourself into all sorts of trouble

00:34:16.500 not legally necessarily because you did anything legally wrong but because you did something

00:34:21.740 immorally questionable let's say and again i'm not whitewashing what those guys did i'm saying

00:34:28.900 that the morality is horrible but forget about the legal debate for a second the moral issue is

00:34:35.180 is horrible i mean imagine that as a guy like how how many of you and i'm asking this rhetorically

00:34:40.600 because i know the answer how many of you listening to a podcast would either willingly 0.99

00:34:46.580 get a woman drunk or high and then exploit her sexually even if she did say yes like how pathetic 0.99

00:35:00.100 at a minimum how pathetic that the only way you can get some action is if you get a woman 0.99

00:35:06.840 high or drunk that's horrible that's scandalous it's it's bad but i think it's really important 0.97

00:35:16.420 that we talk about the distinction between masculinity and manliness the distinction

00:35:20.020 being righteousness and so we as men have a moral obligation to instill righteousness

00:35:27.300 virtue into masculinity because that's what makes it manly and we know it right so we'll see a guy

00:35:34.800 who will a firefighter let's say who will run into a burning building at his own risk clearly

00:35:40.620 his own well-being and he'll pull somebody out of a burning building we don't chastise that we

00:35:48.140 shouldn't right and we don't but that's somebody who's taking aggression to infused with righteousness

00:35:57.760 to produce positive outcomes for the people around him and that's what it means to be a man and we

00:36:02.600 say it now there's a real man that's a man's man like we actually have verbiage for it because

00:36:09.120 instinctively and intuitively we know that there's a difference between masculinity and manliness

00:36:14.060 I don't for example chastise well I will discipline but I don't I expect my young

00:36:23.620 children especially when they were younger to throw temper tantrums to fight with their friends

00:36:28.780 to get in unnecessary fights to do silly things not because I advocated it for for it but because

00:36:35.620 I just knew my three boys are going to act like that and my job was to take that rowdiness and

00:36:42.400 that roughness and that aggression and and the dominance that they have inside of them and the

00:36:49.300 competitiveness that's inherent in who they are and say hey there's nothing wrong with the

00:36:53.680 competitiveness but let's just do it righteously there's nothing wrong with being aggressive

00:36:59.160 but let's make sure we're not exploiting or taking advantage of other people

00:37:03.040 there's nothing wrong with the dominance as long as you are abiding by a set of rules whose rules

00:37:10.640 gods god's rules not man's rules because man's rules ebb and flow shift depending on elected

00:37:20.380 officials and the doctrine of popular culture but by god's rules we're going to follow these and if

00:37:25.200 we do these things we are going to live a better life and our people are going to live better lives

00:37:30.300 and so all of these people who don't believe in a sense of morality are now coming out and saying

00:37:35.340 well that's immoral well why is it immoral who said it's immoral well it's illegal okay if you

00:37:41.480 conflate morality with being illegal why wouldn't then let's just say um let me give you an example

00:37:50.400 so i was turning on a movie last night and i ended up watching uh top gun maverick

00:37:55.000 and a preview or an ad came on for the purge and if you guys don't know the premise of the purge

00:38:01.880 i guess there's one i've never watched it but there's one day of the year where all illegal

00:38:07.980 activity becomes legal you can basically murder people rob you can do whatever you want no rules

00:38:15.940 well if your morality is based on legality then you would probably say that murdering people on

00:38:23.140 that one night of the year is not immoral nobody believes that even the most ardent atheist does

00:38:31.580 not believe that and they don't believe it because morality comes from a higher place that is

00:38:37.080 immovable okay if i said for here's another example hundreds of years ago we as a country

00:38:46.620 embraced slavery it's a dark spot in our history it's immoral i would say right i think we would

00:38:55.680 all agree with that we're not going to subjugate people depending on the color of their skin so

00:39:00.560 we'd all say it's immoral but it was legal it was legal at the time so a big daddy government

00:39:09.120 is what determines your morality why then if we decided in the year 2026 that slavery again is

00:39:15.880 now legal would all those people who said slavery was the atrocity that it is would all of them now

00:39:22.840 say that it's no longer an atrocity because the government deemed it as legal no no of course

00:39:31.500 they wouldn't do that they'd still say it's immoral which tells us that there's something

00:39:36.280 higher than the government that is dictating and directing morality why why is this so hard

00:39:43.780 for people to understand we all have morality infused and built into us the only thing we need

00:39:49.680 to do is override it and plenty of people override it, but it's infused in you. So the question now

00:39:57.240 becomes, what do we do? Okay. What do we do about this? And I would love a further discussion about

00:40:01.840 this because this is the kind of stuff that really fascinates me. I know it's a horrific example. I

00:40:06.240 know a woman's life is ruined regardless of the outcome. A woman's life is ruined. These young 1.00

00:40:10.940 men's lives are ruined regardless of that they deserved it or not. That's ruined. There's a lot

00:40:16.160 at stake here. So what do we do? Well, number one, we need to stop outsourcing our sense of

00:40:25.960 righteousness and morality to outside sources. Big daddy government is not the place of morality.

00:40:32.160 They cannot determine what is moral. And we know that because there's been horrendous,

00:40:38.760 horrendous atrocities created and perpetrated on behalf of governments. I mean, even those people

00:40:45.080 who say that they don't believe in God and that government dictates morality are sure as hell 0.85

00:40:50.420 willing to admit that Israel is committing genocide against the Palestines. Okay, if you 0.73

00:40:57.640 actually really believe that, then why are you saying it's immoral if it's written into either

00:41:04.380 the code or the culture of Israelis? Because you don't actually believe morality is derived from

00:41:11.480 god we need to stop outsourcing to school teachers outsourcing to our neighbors outsourcing to

00:41:17.740 government outsourcing to the doctrine of popular culture out stop outsourcing to the kangaroo court

00:41:25.100 or public opinion and instead we need to start not outsourcing but embracing the idea

00:41:32.940 that morality is not subjective but objective

00:41:36.360 and that as men it's our responsibility to infuse that in our young men

00:41:42.400 that when our kid comes home and says hey i got in a fight because this little four-eyed geek was

00:41:48.180 bothering me so i punched him in the face that that would be an improper use of our aggressive

00:41:54.320 tendencies we should call that out but if he comes home and he says hey billy was making fun of joey

00:42:03.200 for having glasses and he was trying to push him around so i punched him in the face and i broke

00:42:08.920 his nose we ought to say that's a good use of aggression thank you son i know because there's

00:42:16.700 a zero tolerance policy in school you might have got suspended but you know what we're gonna do

00:42:21.020 we're going on we're going to disneyland because you did something that was right

00:42:26.600 when a man steps up and embraces his his masculinity and he and he funnels it and he

00:42:37.240 channels it towards productive outcomes we ought to say that's a man we appreciate that guy we

00:42:43.640 want to honor respect and acknowledge him and not just we i'm talking about everybody

00:42:48.680 everybody left right center libertarian i don't care everybody ought to say that guy did something

00:42:56.740 good and we recognize him as a man number two we need to start policing our guys we've all heard

00:43:05.500 we are a brother's keeper not only does that mean that we should take care of them when they're

00:43:09.300 going against or they're having a hard time or struggling with something i've had friends who

00:43:13.800 are dealing with health issues i've got friends whose wives are battling cancer right now i've

00:43:19.520 got friends whose wives passed away and children passed away i've got friends who have lost jobs

00:43:24.660 and been in financial hardship made dumb decisions and dealing with the consequences

00:43:28.940 and ramifications of that i am my brother's keeper i'm supposed to serve those guys but

00:43:33.720 you know how else that applies and this is one thing we often don't talk about is that when your

00:43:38.640 guys are doing it wrong, you need to say, hey, that's not how we behave. That's not how we show

00:43:49.820 up. If you have a guy, for example, who's been married for 15 years and you see him flirting

00:43:55.700 with the waitress at Applebee's when you go out for wings this week and watch the game,

00:44:00.860 you probably ought to say, hey, bro, you're kind of flirting with the waitress a little bit,

00:44:05.980 but you got a great wife and you're married like maybe lay off on that stuff

00:44:09.280 or when you hear guys say you know boys will boys will be boys or this other comment that i got that

00:44:18.360 i told you about earlier where somebody's like well they're just trying to trying to learn their 0.96

00:44:22.020 place no you don't get to rape people because you're immature and trying to figure out your

00:44:27.200 place in the world that's that's not allowable and so we ought to police that when you see your 0.99

00:44:35.260 friends doing dumb things you ought to say hey you're doing a dumb thing hey don't do that hey

00:44:41.400 that's not how we operate hey here's what we do as friends and then you ought to be willing to 0.90

00:44:47.380 confront those individuals but if if you bought into this idea that society says which is a just

00:44:54.980 a feminized man like masculinity is the problem so let's just get rid of it let's just get rid of

00:44:59.220 it let's just teach boys and men to sit down to shut up to color within the lines to not make a 0.94

00:45:03.640 scene to not bother anybody and just to like sit in the back corner then you can't at the same time

00:45:08.660 say where have all the real men gone i mean how many people have you heard say that where are all

00:45:15.720 the real men well you told them not to be men you told them to act like women you told them to sit

00:45:24.660 down you told them to shut up you told them to color within the lines you told them they don't 0.63

00:45:30.860 have a place here in society you told them zero tolerance policy at school and so you can't defend

00:45:39.940 your fellow student you did that so you can't be frustrated when men are like okay

00:45:47.980 okay i'll do what you told me to do and then they do it and then when things go wrong you're like

00:45:58.520 we're all the real men you neutered them you neutered them and you did it on purpose

00:46:06.020 and you did it to the great detriment of our society

00:46:09.160 you can't neuter men and expect them to step up and we see this even in the dating world

00:46:16.100 i mean i i haven't personally experienced this but i've had a lot of stories and i've seen a

00:46:21.780 lot of stuff out there where you know women get frustrated they're like you know this guy

00:46:28.360 he didn't even pay for my date he didn't offer to do this he didn't offer to do that right

00:46:33.920 because collectively you told him you wanted equal rights and you got it be careful what you wish for

00:46:42.040 and hope and pray that you're not on the receiving end

00:46:47.060 of unharnessed masculinity that hasn't been conditioned into manliness

00:46:51.280 so you need to be comfortable with confrontation and then guys the last thing a couple of things

00:47:00.500 here we've got to raise our men right if you have sons you've got to raise them right if you have

00:47:05.160 daughters you've got to raise them right and i'm an advocate for martial arts for our daughters i'm

00:47:09.680 an advocate for um hunting i'm an advocate for being physically fit i'm an advocate for

00:47:17.540 situational awareness i mean the reality is is that the likelihood of somebody messing with me

00:47:24.240 like if i went out to dinner uh this weekend the reality of somebody messing with me is pretty

00:47:29.780 small you know i'm i'm in fairly decent shape um i'm situationally aware i i scan my surroundings

00:47:39.260 i know what's going on i usually have like rbf whatever the version of men that is for but like

00:47:46.360 i don't want to be messed with and i portray that i exude that when i'm out in public so the reality

00:47:51.960 of somebody messing with me is significantly lower than somebody messing with my female

00:47:55.820 counterpart it's the reality of it so it's more important that women learn martial arts it's more

00:48:02.780 important they learn situational awareness it's more important that they learn to be assertive

00:48:07.060 and if you're raising boys we need to teach them how to become men masculinity versus manliness and

00:48:14.400 if you're raising daughters you need to teach them what the real world is like i honestly believe

00:48:19.320 that our lovely beautiful women are generally a bit more naive and i'm glad actually i'm glad

00:48:25.420 that they're more naive because that's what makes them lovely and beautiful at least partially

00:48:28.940 but that means they also need to be protected and when they'll say well i don't need to be

00:48:34.560 protected okay then don't cry when you're not being protected and don't cry when masculine men

00:48:43.740 don't want to be in relationships with you

00:48:45.940 because you're not being feminine. 1.00

00:48:48.980 Polarity, right? 1.00

00:48:50.000 It's important.

00:48:51.840 And the last thing, guys, I'll share with you

00:48:53.500 is just modeling behavior.

00:48:56.060 You know, if you see your son do something

00:48:57.740 and you're like, hey,

00:48:59.440 and he's talking back to his mom, 0.87

00:49:00.660 hey, we don't talk to our women like that. 0.83

00:49:04.580 We honor them.

00:49:05.480 We respect them.

00:49:06.160 We protect them.

00:49:07.240 That's my wife you're talking to.

00:49:09.440 And if you really want to go at it,

00:49:10.980 we'll go at it.

00:49:11.600 But I'm going to protect my wife over you.

00:49:13.740 you're going to show up and you're going to be respectful you're you're going to go out to the 0.99

00:49:19.620 bar with your buddies after the game and you're not going to get shit-faced have a drink sure do 0.99

00:49:25.500 whatever you want but you're not going to get shit-faced you're actually going to be coherent 0.97

00:49:30.020 so that you can protect your people you can get your people home safe you can have decent 0.92

00:49:35.640 conversations in a decent way with people of the same sex and opposite sex you're not going to act

00:49:41.320 like that you're going to go train jujitsu you're going to fire guns you're going to learn about 0.87

00:49:47.320 situational awareness you're going to be educated so you don't sound silly when you're trying to

00:49:51.780 have debates and discussions you're going to find a way to develop skill sets so that you can be

00:49:56.100 promotable and you can earn more money and then you can pour into your community or you can give

00:49:59.940 back to charity or you can take your kids on a trip the whole goal is just to model the behavior

00:50:05.060 and then talk about it communication is important but model the behavior and then communicate the

00:50:10.780 behavior to the people who are watching you and everybody's watching you the other day I had this

00:50:17.240 experience it's not flattering but I'll tell you I had this experience with my son and I got home

00:50:23.560 I ran a quick errand and I got home and I was like hey did you take the dog out and he's like

00:50:28.700 yeah I took the dog out and I'm like I don't I don't think you took the dog out I don't believe

00:50:34.040 you because it didn't look like you'd moved he's like no no I took the dog out I said okay so if

00:50:40.680 i pull up the security camera i'll see a video of you taking the dog out and he's like no no dad i

00:50:48.800 did i'm sorry i didn't take the dog out and i told him i said look bud i know it's convenient

00:50:56.640 i know you don't want to get in trouble but you did two things wrong instead of one number one

00:51:03.160 you didn't take the dog out number two is you lied to me about it and now you're caught so you did

00:51:09.460 two things wrong. You didn't do what I asked and you lied about it. And he's like, well, dad,

00:51:16.300 you've lied to me too. And I was like, oh yeah, you're right. I have.

00:51:25.760 I have some of it. I mean, none of it is malicious, but it's a lie. The same told him I'd take him

00:51:34.080 out. I didn't told him I'd hang out with the morning with him in the morning. I didn't.

00:51:39.460 Those are lies. There's a great book, The Four Agreements. You might've read it by,

00:51:44.640 I think the author is Don Miguel Ruiz. And one of the four agreements is to be impeccable with

00:51:50.560 your word. Well, you can't call people out for what they're doing if you're engaged in the same

00:51:55.040 behavior. So model the behavior, show up fully so that you can actually stand by what you say.

00:52:00.760 Guys, this is a very complex case and I'm very interested to see where it goes.

00:52:05.740 um people's lives are ruined that's a given we're going to figure out whose lives are ruined based

00:52:11.780 on what they did or did not do and i think justice is important we need to be a country

00:52:16.780 who believes in equal justice under the law i fully agree with that but i would

00:52:22.880 i would think long and hard about the cultural implications of what we're talking about if

00:52:30.000 there's a negative connotation or tinge towards the dangers of masculinity then that's going to

00:52:36.740 be a problem so my call is for you is not that we say men are dangerous men are horrible men are

00:52:42.580 evil it's always a man it's always that's not the narrative we're going to paint the narrative that

00:52:46.380 i think we as men and even women who might be listening to this podcast and we do have a lot

00:52:51.400 of single mothers who listen because they're trying to raise their boys in righteousness and

00:52:54.800 proud of them for wanting to do so is to get us around good and righteous men and have

00:53:00.360 conversations and have discussions and check each other and call each other out and talk

00:53:04.960 about the distinction between masculinity and manliness. That's to me, that's the only path

00:53:11.680 forward. The alternative where we just villainize men and we treat them as less than, and we don't

00:53:19.180 invite them to step into their masculinity. It's going to be a very, very dangerous

00:53:23.580 dystopian world. I hope you know that. Without men, people say, oh, the world would be safer.

00:53:31.240 The world would be horrible, horrible without men. You'd be less safe. You'd have less provisions.

00:53:41.280 You'd have less access to abundance and prosperity. And by the way, I think the same

00:53:48.600 thing about women. The world would be a horrible place without women. I don't like this thing where 1.00

00:53:53.860 we're like, oh, if men didn't exist, the world would be a better place. The same as I don't

00:53:57.900 like the narrative. If women didn't exist, the world would be a better place. I don't believe 1.00

00:54:01.660 that's true. Either one, the world can be a beautiful place. If men and women learn to

00:54:08.380 acknowledge and recognize and embrace masculinity and femininity in each other and hone it, honor

00:54:15.700 it, respect it, call it out, be excited about it, call it out when it's wrong and just be level

00:54:20.780 headed about the discussions that we're having. Let's stop with the emotional vomiting and the

00:54:26.080 social media clout chasing and just be normal. Clearly there's a moral problem here in this

00:54:33.180 Cornell case. Clearly that doesn't make it illegal. We need to figure that out, but I think we can be

00:54:40.200 more level-headed about the discussion and the prescription the diagnosis and the prescription

00:54:46.120 so um anyways guys that's what i've got for you to share now on that fourth point i talked about

00:54:51.200 not outsourcing your your manliness and masculinity i talked about um policing this with other men

00:54:58.160 uh confrontation healthy confrontation with other men and modeling that behavior if you guys really

00:55:05.280 want to do this right. And you feel like, man, I would love to be around other men who are having

00:55:11.640 these kinds of conversations. I would love to be around men who I can hold accountable and who will

00:55:18.460 hold me accountable. I mean, I had a friend this morning, send me a text and he's like, Hey man,

00:55:23.200 I needed to send you a text. You seemed off the other day and I wanted to send you a text. Is

00:55:26.740 this what's going on? And I said, no, I'm good. And he's like, okay, cool. I just wanted, and I,

00:55:31.220 and i told him the truth but i really wanted to check in on him i want he wanted to check in on

00:55:35.760 me excuse me and i want to check in on my guys to make sure they're doing good if you're looking

00:55:41.240 for something like that there's no better place than the iron council this is what we do every

00:55:46.660 single week every single day and in fact for the month of october we're talking about five fears

00:55:52.660 that every man needs to overcome and what exactly you can do to overcome it so make sure you check

00:55:59.360 it out. Head to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil. But until next week for our interview, guys, go out

00:56:07.120 there, embrace your masculinity, harness manliness, and become the man you are meant to be.

00:56:15.240 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your

00:56:19.580 life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

00:56:29.360 Thank you.

Order of Man - October 02, 2026

Cornell： Where Have the Real Men Gone？｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Transcript

Order of Man - October 02, 2026

Cornell： Where Have the Real Men Gone？ ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Transcript

Cornell： Where Have the Real Men Gone？｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES