Order of Man - FFN 032： Hold Fast

00:00:00.020 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.280 Men, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler and I am the host and the founder of Order of Man.

00:00:29.200 And this, as you know by now, is the go-to podcast for all things man.

00:00:32.900 So whether you're trying to connect with your wife or learn how to defend yourself better,

00:00:37.220 or maybe you want to start a business or you just want to be a better leader in your community,

00:00:40.840 you are in the right place. Guys, we are creeping up on 1.3 million downloads.

00:00:46.620 So I first and foremost want to thank you for tuning in each and every week to the messages of the order.

00:00:52.120 If you haven't shared this podcast, guys, with your buddies, your dad, your sons, your brothers,

00:00:56.520 I ask that you do that because as we all know, the world needs us to show up as men

00:01:00.800 more than it ever has. And it is up to each and every one of us to show up fully in our own lives.

00:01:07.300 And not only do our own lives and our own well-being rely upon us pushing every single day as men,

00:01:12.140 but there are others who are counting on us as well. Our wives, our children, our employees,

00:01:16.780 our coworkers, anybody in our community, which leads me into the discussion that I want to have

00:01:21.500 with you today. I want to talk with you about the notion and the phrase hold fast. I'm going to give

00:01:27.040 you a quick backstory of what this even means. Originally, the term hold fast was used as a

00:01:31.860 nautical term and it refers to the importance of securing a ship's rigging, especially if there was

00:01:37.260 bad weather. Now, I'm not a sailor and I'm not going to get much more into it than that, but I do

00:01:41.480 believe that the implications of the term hold fast are critical, critical in helping us as men achieve

00:01:47.360 and show up in meaningful and significant ways in this world. And I already told you, as if you

00:01:53.440 didn't already know this, that there are people relying upon us. But unfortunately, we are all

00:01:59.220 presented with our share of challenges. I know there's a lot of men right now who are dealing

00:02:04.140 with some serious hurdles in their lives. Divorce, bankruptcy, job loss, illness, a death in the

00:02:09.640 family, depression, disability, and a thousand other things that we're expected to deal with

00:02:13.680 throughout our lives. This show today isn't really meant to be a pity party, but I know what it's like

00:02:18.700 to deal with these things. And at times in our lives, the only thing that we can do is to hold

00:02:23.880 fast, hold fast to the idea that we can weather the storm. And at some point, hopefully sooner rather

00:02:29.040 than later, that it will pass us by and we'll see brighter days ahead. I think there's a big

00:02:34.140 misconception, guys, that men who achieve at high levels in their businesses or their fitness journey

00:02:40.520 or their family life is that these guys don't face challenges. For example, how many of you

00:02:45.420 have ever at any point in your life told yourself that the only reason another person might be wealthy

00:02:51.960 is because it was handed to them? I think we're all guilty of that. And I say guilty because that's

00:02:56.820 wrong. Now, I know there's exceptions, of course, to that rule, but I also know that the most financially

00:03:02.060 successful people that I personally know and are aware of have worked their tails off. They've made

00:03:06.920 huge sacrifices and they've gotten bruised and bloody on their way to the expansion of their

00:03:13.240 wealth. Men do not achieve at high levels out of the absence of trial and adversity, but they do it

00:03:19.980 in spite of it. And in many ways, they do it because of it. So I'm going to steal a phrase from Ryan

00:03:24.080 Holiday. He says, the obstacle is the way. You really ought to read that book if you haven't already.

00:03:28.440 But Ryan and I actually talk a little bit about that concept in our interview, which you can find

00:03:32.260 at orderofman.com slash 065. All right. So let's talk about this. How do you hold fast

00:03:39.620 when it seems like everything around you is crumbling? I'm going to share with you a couple

00:03:43.920 of tactics that I have personally employed when things seem to be going wrong or at a minimum

00:03:48.220 stagnant in my life. And the first step in holding on for dear life, when everything is crashing around

00:03:54.480 us is to maintain a long-term vision. It is really easy to get caught up in the day-to-day

00:04:00.360 minutiae that is inevitably going to happen. And in the moment, losing a customer or getting

00:04:06.340 delayed on a project or even having a fight with your wife seems like it might be the end of the

00:04:10.240 world. It's not, guys. In fact, it might not even matter in the next 24 hours. Someone once asked

00:04:15.460 as I was going through a difficult time, is this even going to matter tomorrow or next week or next

00:04:20.240 month or next year? And 90% of the problems and challenges that we face are flat out not going

00:04:25.340 to matter. So don't make things worse than they really are. And by the way, if you want to research

00:04:30.700 this a little bit more, read up on cognitive distortions, cognitive distortions, understanding

00:04:36.480 what that term even means and how it applies to us has literally changed my life. But that's for

00:04:42.400 another podcast. I'll address that another time. The next thing you need to do, and in this case,

00:04:46.800 it's what you don't need to do, is compound the problem. If you find yourself digging a hole,

00:04:52.760 the first step is to stop digging. Don't try to solve the problems when you're in the heat of the

00:04:58.220 moment. Don't get emotional about what you're dealing with right now. I don't want this to be

00:05:02.140 confused, though, with hiding your emotions. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about

00:05:06.020 calming down, regaining your composure, and using those emotions as a tool or a barometer to understand

00:05:13.100 what is actually happening in your life. If you're arguing with your wife, take a break. If you just

00:05:18.460 lost a customer, don't alienate your other customers. If you just got laid off, don't

00:05:22.600 yell at everybody you know. Just stop, breathe, and give yourself some time for perspective.

00:05:28.260 All right, so the next thing that you need to do is focus on tactics, not objectives. When life gets

00:05:33.860 difficult, stop focusing so much on the end game. This can be frustrating enough because at the time,

00:05:40.100 that end game, it might seem unattainable. It's just too far away. So rather than your big dream

00:05:45.740 encouraging you, it actually becomes a discouragement. In fact, this is why most men don't hit their

00:05:52.480 objectives. It's why most people give up on their New Year's resolutions after 30 days at best.

00:05:58.140 Most men stop at the dreaming part and never really give the execution phase much thought. So here's

00:06:03.640 what you need to do. Start identifying what tactics can you use that will allow you to reach that

00:06:10.940 objective. This is going to put the responsibility in achieving big things in your life back where it

00:06:16.500 belongs on your shoulders, yours and my shoulders, and actually allow you and me to take charge of

00:06:21.760 the only thing that we can control, which is how we handle the storm. We can't control the weather,

00:06:27.780 but we can control how we respond to it. All right, so now you've given yourself some space.

00:06:33.280 You've focused on the tactics you're going to need to employ to get back on track, but where do you

00:06:37.980 start? If you've got kicked in the teeth like I know I have, I think it's safe to say that you lose

00:06:43.720 momentum. You've lost that X factor and you're no longer in the zone. And when this happens,

00:06:48.400 the best thing you can do to get back to it is to pick the lowest hanging fruit, the easiest task

00:06:54.780 that you can complete that will yield the highest results. You don't need a home run at this point.

00:06:59.960 You just need to get back on base. So out of your tactics, look at what is going to be the easiest

00:07:04.340 to implement and is going to produce the results and do that immediately. Don't do a lot of planning

00:07:09.560 at this point. Just get the momentum back. And when you knock that tactic out of the way,

00:07:13.840 pick the next easiest tactic and compound on the positive rather than the negative.

00:07:18.900 And the last thing that you need to do that I want to share with you today is to gain some

00:07:22.480 perspective. I already mentioned it briefly, and I'm not going to get into this one too much because

00:07:26.600 I have talked about it quite a bit before, but you need to operate guys in a pack. No lone wolves

00:07:32.700 here. You need to operate in a pack. You need to build a band of brothers who can give you some new

00:07:37.320 insights into what might actually be going on in your life in that moment. So if you want to know

00:07:42.340 more about this subject, listen to my interview, a great interview with Steven Mansfield at

00:07:47.140 orderofman.com slash 076 called building your band of brothers. And I'm also going to be putting

00:07:52.540 together a resource into how to do this because I get so many questions about this. So also be on the

00:07:56.880 lookout for that in early 2017. So there you have it guys. That's a few key ways to hold fast when

00:08:03.140 everything around you seems to be crumbling down. Long-term vision, don't compound the problem,

00:08:08.400 focus on tactics, not the objectives, gain momentum and operate in a pack. I know that

00:08:13.940 life has a tendency of beating us up at times and then kicking us while we're down. It certainly has

00:08:17.840 for me, but the thing that separates the winners from the losers is the ability to hold fast,

00:08:22.540 the ability to recognize that these are trials and that they're there to build us up, not tear us down

00:08:28.260 and the ability to turn a weakness into a strength. Gentlemen, if you haven't already,

00:08:33.940 I would encourage you also to check out our elite mastermind because we're talking about this topic

00:08:38.780 and so much more. In fact, for the month of December, we're talking about finding your path

00:08:43.260 and purpose. It's called the Iron Council. It's a group of men, a pack, a tribe of guys all working

00:08:48.720 together shoulder to shoulder to achieve big things. And we've got a new website up and running,

00:08:53.640 which you can check out at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil. I hope to see you inside,

00:08:58.200 but until then and until next week, hold fast, men, and become the man you were meant to be.

00:09:03.940 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life

00:09:08.480 and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - December 02, 2016

FFN 032： Hold Fast

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