Order of Man - FFN 094： Solve Your Own Problems

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.480 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler and I am the host and the founder of this podcast,

00:00:29.780 The Order of Man. Now, before I get into anything with regards to the show today or any announcements,

00:00:35.760 if you hear any banging or buzzing or noises in the background, you'll have to get over it.

00:00:41.380 My roofers are up top. They are putting a new roof on the house, which we're excited to get done,

00:00:46.120 but it's cutting into my ability to record this, so we're just going to have to drive on.

00:00:51.040 We're just going to have to go right through it, so if you hear the buzzing and the banging and all

00:00:54.480 this stuff, don't worry about it. Next week, we'll be back to the high quality of audio that we try

00:00:59.620 to produce every single week with the exception of today. Now, guys, if you're new, if you are new

00:01:05.060 with us today, welcome. If you are not new with us today, I want to welcome you back. As you probably

00:01:09.820 know by now, this is a show about being a better man in every facet of your life. I've been on this

00:01:15.380 journey and mission now for three years, and I've got to tell you, I'm honored. I'm honored to be just

00:01:20.420 a small part, a small part of the success that you've been having in your life with your relationships

00:01:25.700 and your health and your business and all the other areas that you are constantly working to

00:01:29.500 improve. I would ask guys, if you are getting something from the show, please, if you would

00:01:34.300 share it with your brother, cousin, friend, dad, whoever it may be, any man that you may know,

00:01:39.660 we absolutely need more men in this fight. And this is a grassroots movement, meaning that the

00:01:44.640 message and the mission that we're on spreads only through the words that you share with the other

00:01:48.880 men that you know. So please again, share the show with a man that needs to hear what we have to

00:01:53.300 share. Now, what I need to do before we get into the meat of the show, which is that of solving your

00:01:57.560 own problems, which I believe is something we need more of in our lives and the lives of those that we

00:02:01.860 have a responsibility for. I just want to give you a couple of quick announcements. First, let me talk

00:02:06.520 with you about our show sponsor health IQ. I've been talking about them for months. You guys probably

00:02:11.700 know if you've listened to the show that I was a life insurance agent in the past in another life,

00:02:16.100 and I know how expensive life insurance can be and you don't want to go without. I think we as men

00:02:21.960 have an obligation to take care of our family, our loved ones, our businesses long after we're

00:02:27.720 gone. And I think the best way to do that is through life insurance. But that said, I'm not

00:02:31.940 interested in paying more for life insurance than I need to. And I imagine that's the case for you as

00:02:36.540 well. So if you go to health IQ.com slash order of man, you can check out what they're up to. You can

00:02:42.620 get a free quote, but what I like most about what they're doing is they're rewarding those who are

00:02:47.540 health conscious, those who live a healthy lifestyle. So if you live a healthy lifestyle,

00:02:51.960 if you're an athlete of any type, then this might be a good solution for you. I've seen people save

00:02:57.680 up to 33% on their life insurance. So they're getting the same amount, but they're paying a third

00:03:03.020 less than they need to for that coverage. And they're rewarding you for living the kind of life that

00:03:08.180 you know you should be living. So again, if you go to health IQ.com slash order of man,

00:03:13.760 health IQ.com slash order of man, go over there, get a free quote, see if they can save you some

00:03:19.140 money on your coverage. That way you do have that important life insurance coverage, but you're not

00:03:23.300 paying more than you need to again, health IQ.com slash order of man. And second, the book sovereignty,

00:03:30.240 the battle for the hearts and minds of men. I know I've been talking about this for a while.

00:03:33.660 First, I've got to apologize right out of the gate because I know that it is out of stock. We've had a

00:03:39.240 couple of little hiccups, but hopefully within the next five to six days, that will be

00:03:43.580 resolved and those books will be shipped. I would encourage you and ask that you go ahead and buy

00:03:48.420 the book. Consider this a pre-order, go ahead and buy the book right now. It's going to ship as soon

00:03:52.960 as it's available to you. And we're going to get that book into your hands. Don't wait, get it now

00:03:57.500 because if you get the book now, you're going to be among the first in line to get it as soon as it

00:04:01.880 starts to ship. I'm blown away with how popular it's been. The amazingly positive support and words

00:04:09.720 of encouragement that I've got with regards to the book. Again, it's called sovereignty,

00:04:13.440 the battle for the hearts and minds of men. You can pick that up at order of man.com slash

00:04:17.920 sovereignty, order of man.com slash sovereignty. Now, the third announcement that I wanted to make

00:04:22.260 is that of the uprising. Uh, I've had quite a few of you ask about when the next uprising event is

00:04:27.720 going to be. If you're not familiar with what that is, this is a three and a half day immersive

00:04:32.100 experience. It's physical, it's mental, it's emotional. It's in the mountains of Southern

00:04:35.640 Utah. And it's designed to push you. It's designed to test you. It's designed to stretch you. And it's

00:04:40.840 designed to give you the tools and the guidance and the resources and the accountability. And of

00:04:44.360 course the brotherhood and camaraderie, that's what we're all about here to succeed in big levels and

00:04:49.680 give you a new framework at the end of the day, just give you a new framework, a new way at which

00:04:55.000 you look at life. We've been doing this for a couple of years now, and I can't tell you how excited

00:05:01.080 I am to get this other one going. We already have about half of the spots filled.

00:05:05.640 So if you are interested in the uprising, you've got to jump on this quick. This is the first

00:05:09.900 announcement that I've made. And we've, like I said, we already have half the spots filled.

00:05:13.020 So go to order of man.com slash uprising, order of man.com slash uprising. Now guys, I know that's

00:05:19.800 a lot before we even get into the discussion for today. So I appreciate you bearing with me. Let's get

00:05:24.220 into this discussion guys. It is amazing how quick we are to talk to other people about their issues

00:05:31.160 and their problems. Yet we seem to be incapable of recognizing the problems in ourselves. It's sad

00:05:38.820 because we spend so much time and attention and energy on changing something that is completely

00:05:43.880 outside of our control. When the real power comes from changing the thing that is entirely,

00:05:50.580 entirely within our control. It's ourselves. I get it. It's easier to focus our attention elsewhere

00:05:55.520 than it is on us. If we had to flip that mirror around and actually take a look at where we fall

00:06:01.160 short, it leads ultimately to work and effort to do something about it. And a lot of us, frankly,

00:06:07.820 just don't want to do that. If you're talking with people about getting in shape, but haven't stepped

00:06:12.760 foot into the gym in years, what right do you have to cast stones at another human being who's

00:06:17.980 neglecting their health? I don't think we do. One scenario I see all the time because of my

00:06:22.820 experience in the financial planning industry, like I'd mentioned earlier, is advisors who are

00:06:27.100 giving financial advice to other people while living in complete poverty themselves. It's

00:06:34.080 disingenuous at best. And I think it's flat out deceitful at worst. The thing that I think really

00:06:39.820 gets in our way more than anything else when it comes to our tremendous ability to underestimate

00:06:46.120 everyone else and overestimate our own abilities is this fragile little thing. We all possess

00:06:52.180 our ego. And I've talked about this at length in the podcast. And of course the book as well.

00:06:56.460 I'm here to tell you that I believe one of the biggest barriers to our success is that ego.

00:07:02.680 It's pride. It's arrogance. It's an unrealistic assessment of how good we actually are.

00:07:08.500 I was once in a, uh, in a conference room with roughly, I don't know, 50 other investment advisors

00:07:13.760 or so. And the man speaking at the time asked us to raise our hand if we believe that our performance

00:07:19.860 was better than average. So if our performance was better than average, he asked us to raise our

00:07:23.680 hand. So I want you to just guess for a second, how many people raise their hand? Everyone,

00:07:29.820 every single person of the 50 or so advisors raise their hand, including myself. And that just proves

00:07:36.100 the point. Statistically, if you look at the numbers, only half of the room should have raised

00:07:41.520 their hand, but all of us did. Why? Because we think more highly of ourselves than I think we

00:07:48.780 probably ought to. And when we do, we create blind spots. We overlook any ability to actually improve

00:07:54.860 in our area of weakness. And isn't that what we should all be after anyways, improvement in our

00:08:00.360 own lives. That's why you're listening to this podcast. That's why you tune in the blog. That's

00:08:04.760 why you're in the Facebook group. That's why you read the book because you want to improve your life.

00:08:09.860 Now don't make a mistake here because I'm not talking about an unhealthy level of criticism.

00:08:14.420 This is not an opportunity to beat yourself up, but it's an opportunity to take an objective look

00:08:19.800 at where you fall short. And most importantly, how you can actually improve. That's point number

00:08:25.280 one. Point number two is this idea and notion of influence. I think it's safe to assume that most of

00:08:31.860 the men, if not all of them listening to this podcast have a desire, at least to some degree,

00:08:36.680 to be more influential. The first thing we do when we want to influence the way others think

00:08:41.640 and or behave around us is lie. Think about that for a second. We lie. We lie about how much

00:08:47.660 we actually know. We lie about our experience. We lie about our track record. We attempt to deceive

00:08:53.800 people into believing more highly of us than maybe they should. But here's the trap that only works for

00:09:01.400 so long and it only works until you're caught and you end up looking more foolish than you would have

00:09:07.600 if you just told the truth to begin with. You lose credibility, you lose influence, and you end up

00:09:13.540 sabotaging your own efforts in the long run. If you really want to become more influential in your life,

00:09:18.520 you're going to have to do some things differently. You are going to have to do some things differently.

00:09:24.680 Not anybody else, not your wife, not your boss, not your colleagues, not your coworkers, not your kids.

00:09:29.480 And while there may be some truth to that, if you really want to be influential,

00:09:33.320 you are going to have to do something different. You cannot continue to focus on other people

00:09:39.960 and their shortcomings, and you cannot continue to manipulate the truth about your performance or

00:09:47.080 your knowledge. But here's the good news, guys, because it sounds like maybe I'm standing on my

00:09:51.340 soapbox a little bit here, but there is some good news here. It is entirely within our control.

00:09:56.840 It is impossible to change another human being. You can only change yourself. Let that one sit and

00:10:05.560 sink in for a little bit. You cannot change another human being. You can only change yourself. And here's

00:10:12.080 the beauty. Once you do, and this works positively or negatively even, but once you do that, that is what

00:10:19.960 people will respond to. Not your weak attempts to manipulate or strong arm or coerce them into doing

00:10:26.340 something, but to the change that you've made in your own life, manipulation tactics, strong

00:10:31.920 arming, coercion, all of those types of things. That's not influence. That's not being influential.

00:10:36.320 That's being a dictator or a tyrant. The last way to get buy-in from your family or team is to act

00:10:42.820 that way. You all know what I'm talking about. Everyone listening to this has had a boss that he feared

00:10:48.300 more than he respected. And I'm willing to bet that when that was the case, you did probably the

00:10:54.020 bare minimum required to keep your job, not a thing more, not a thing less, just enough to get

00:10:59.920 by. But on the other hand, we've all had bosses that we would gladly follow into battle literally

00:11:06.320 and figuratively because of how that individual actually showed up and how that individual is

00:11:11.300 striving to work on and improve themselves. Every single person understands this. This is not new

00:11:17.080 information I'm sharing with you. And yet we continue to believe the best way to create change

00:11:21.540 is to get other people to see the error of their ways. What if instead you decided to recognize

00:11:28.860 the error of yours, not to undermine your authority, but to actually increase it. I'd love to live in a

00:11:36.560 world where more men accepted responsibility for their own faults before casting this burden of blame

00:11:43.180 on others. I'm not here to tell you that I've got this 100% pinned down myself. I certainly don't,

00:11:48.660 but I do make a conscious effort to recognize that when things go wrong, it typically has more to do

00:11:54.320 with me than I initially thought or gave credit for. Guys, recognizing your own inadequacies does

00:12:00.240 not make you a weak person. Please understand that if there's one lesson that you can take away from

00:12:06.420 this conversation today, it's that your own inadequacies and recognizing those things and being

00:12:11.880 aware of those things do not make you weaker. It gives you the ability to become stronger by accepting

00:12:19.180 reality for what it is. And most importantly, doing something about it, solving your own problems before

00:12:27.880 you worry about solving other people's gentlemen, that's all I've got for you today. And as I do,

00:12:32.120 please just keep that in mind, really strive to work on yourself and improve yourself and watch how

00:12:38.080 others respond to you changing what is entirely within your control. Now, remember we've got the

00:12:44.440 book sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men available order of man.com slash

00:12:49.900 sovereignty. And then we've got our three and a half day experience. I'm not sure I even gave you

00:12:54.600 the dates. May 3rd through 6th, May 3rd through 6th, 2018. Love to have you there. Very few spots left.

00:13:01.320 You can go to order of man.com slash uprising order of man.com slash uprising. With that said, guys,

00:13:07.260 I will look forward to talking with you next week. But until then, work on solving your own

00:13:11.880 problems, take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order

00:13:17.720 of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:13:23.300 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - February 09, 2018

FFN 094： Solve Your Own Problems

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