Pearl - Find Your Wife at Coachella!!!

00:00:00.960 what is up my ninjas guys i think i have too much energy to live in normal society 0.65

00:00:10.320 i go out i'm in normal society and i just want to be like guys america's fat and

00:00:16.600 apparently you can't just go around saying that which is super crazy 0.72

00:00:24.460 super crazy

00:00:25.680 you know

00:00:28.560 I might have to let my dog out

00:00:32.360 as per usual 0.95

00:00:33.240 look at her you guys want to say hi

00:00:36.200 you want to say hi alright

00:00:37.400 alright stop begging

00:00:39.360 okay baby oh yes

00:00:42.440 yes

00:00:45.000 say hi

00:00:45.500 oh baby

00:00:45.980 Oh, okay. All right. So, all right. Today I want to make the case and I know,

00:01:11.100 I know this is contradicted things I said in the past. Okay. I know you guys are going to come at

00:01:17.780 me and say, Pearl, you've always talked shit about festivals. Um, and I do hate festivals, 0.99

00:01:26.180 the kind of person I am. I, I, you know, I think I analyze myself too much. Solipistic.

00:01:31.400 I'm a woman just etc um but I don't know if me not liking social events a lot is um lazy

00:01:45.640 or a good thing you know most of my life I don't think I've lived a well-balanced life like I just

00:01:54.480 never really I don't want to say never because you know I've been alive for a while but consistent

00:02:01.380 went to, um, concerts, events. I just kind of found them boring. Um, and I think part of it

00:02:09.820 was because I've always struggled with my weight. So if I went to a lot of those events, I would get

00:02:14.680 fat and I really just didn't want to be fat. Um, I don't, can any of the girls in the chat,

00:02:20.820 anybody had this dilemma? So I really missed, um, you know, when I was 16 or 17, no, no, no,

00:02:30.980 no, no, no. It's all a blur. I was 17. I actually had tickets to go to Coachella. Okay. Coachella

00:02:37.220 tickets, I had country thunder tickets. And to be fair, um, I was pretty innocent in high school.

00:02:43.400 I just didn't really do a lot. Um, I didn't drink for most of it. Um, I drank a little my senior

00:02:51.160 year, but it was, it was with my mom. So I don't know if, does that really, is that bad? My mom

00:02:56.120 was the first one to drink with me. Is that, is that bad? I don't know, but I always played two

00:03:02.480 sports. So I was always really busy, you know, cause I would have two practices back to back,

00:03:06.980 go to bed, you know, wake up the next day. I've always, you know, athletics has just been a big

00:03:12.120 part of my life um but when i was young a lot of women um did go to coachella country thunder i'm

00:03:22.280 from chicago so that was kind of the norm and i wanted to be one of them i i bought my tickets

00:03:28.360 um for the first time ever and i was ready to go uh but then um i ended up i threw a party in high

00:03:38.200 school and by the way i just want to give you guys a little preface i had a lot of freedom in high

00:03:44.440 school just in general i was one of 10 kids so we all got a ton of freedom um never at a curfew

00:03:52.600 and part of the reason i had so much freedom was because i genuinely for the most part was a good

00:03:57.160 kid so um the year before i did travel sports and my parents left me home for a month i was by myself

00:04:06.440 and i didn't throw a single party didn't have people over didn't do anything i just went to

00:04:10.200 practice went home i i didn't like imagine and i lived in a 10 bedroom mansion i lived in a giant

00:04:17.480 house nothing but my senior year i was feeling a little more rambunctious and um so i decided

00:04:26.840 I was going to throw a party. Okay. So, um, but I knew it wasn't going to be a big party. It was

00:04:36.560 going to be 20 people tops. So me had a few friends over and we decided to throw a party

00:04:41.420 and I went to great lengths. Relax dog. What? Stop. Stop. Relax. Stop. Chill. Relax. Okay.

00:04:56.840 Okay. So going back, going back to this, where was I? What was I talking about?

00:05:04.980 What was I talking about? Oh, the party. So I had a, I had a few friends and it was four friends

00:05:14.560 and we decided we were going to go on a bender for like a week straight. And I went from, by the way,

00:05:19.520 I'm gonna I'm gonna incriminate myself today fuck it fuck it I'm just feeling it I'm feeling it I 0.99

00:05:26.980 will incriminate okay so um my friends um I I know when I threw the party I could count on one hand 0.99

00:05:38.640 the amount of times I drank and it was all it was mostly with my mother okay so um these three

00:05:46.000 friends were a few of them were stoners you know and this time um this party this party um it was

00:05:58.100 like 20 people at it was a week straight basically and it started with four people then the next day

00:06:03.340 it was 10 then 15 then 20 and my family was on vacation so i end up i end up cleaning up the

00:06:08.920 house and everything's good right and i'm going to say allegedly i don't want to i don't want to

00:06:13.560 admit to a cry actually it's legal now um and the funny thing was I smoked weed for the first time

00:06:19.500 at this party now again I was very innocent I'd never smoked um I never smoked weed in my life

00:06:28.560 and um I had this like blunt in front of me and I smoked it and I remember I was

00:06:34.260 coughing and everyone was making fun of me because um because I had never smoked weed before right

00:06:43.560 so we clean up we leave and I go join my family on vacation and um then we my family and I come

00:06:53.320 back from vacation and my dad gets really upset with me um really really upset with me he goes

00:07:00.300 up to me and he says um I found alcohol in the trash and I was confused

00:07:07.080 i knew i cleaned up so what do i do am i am i admitting am i whatever so i don't know my my dad

00:07:17.820 ends up um showing me a bought a bag full of beer cans and i'm looking at these beer cans and i'm

00:07:26.060 thinking we drank shots we did not drink beer at this party so i'm really confused

00:07:34.920 i didn't drink beer 0.87

00:07:38.400 we were ripping that was part of the problem some girl puked because she was ripping shots you know 1.00

00:07:45.500 hold on she's got to go out she's got to go out okay okay 1.00

00:07:53.760 go ahead go ahead bitch 1.00

00:07:57.440 no let me 1.00

00:08:06.560 what the hell is wrong with you i'm gonna make the case for coachella 0.62

00:08:11.900 so by the way at the time i had my country thunder and coachella tickets um and my parents 0.83

00:08:19.880 um it turned out the reason my dad found this beer can these beer cans

00:08:26.500 was because my friends that I thought were my friends came back to my parents' house

00:08:32.280 because they knew I was leaving and threw another party after I left.

00:08:48.520 So that caused my parents to go through everything.

00:08:52.400 My phone, my texts, all this stuff, right?

00:08:57.060 i and um they actually found a text from me saying please delete the picture of me with the weed

00:09:06.020 and it was incredible because i i'd never smoked in my life before this

00:09:14.740 so my dad thought i was a stoner and i hate weed it's not good it doesn't taste good

00:09:21.620 i'm like dad i've never seen my dad so disappointed he really thought i was like a

00:09:27.780 druggie and going down that path i never went down that path i'm not gonna say i never i never tried

00:09:34.660 it you know i'm not i'm not gonna say i never did it like i did but i just never liked it do

00:09:40.340 you know what happened every time i smoked i felt like my arms were heavy and i would just get so

00:09:46.100 annoyed. I'm like, why are my arms so heavy? And then, yeah, I just never liked, it just was never

00:09:58.520 my thing. So anyways, my dad's like crying because he thinks I'm a drug addict and all this. And you

00:10:07.440 know what the crazy thing is? My next two siblings, my next two younger than me, they threw parties

00:10:12.360 all the time, never got in trouble. My parents didn't even care. I paved the way. I threw one

00:10:17.820 party with 20 people. I'm going to let her back in. 1.00

00:10:24.880 All right, so this caused me to get my Coachella tickets taken, and I have never attended Coachella,

00:10:43.840 right but it got me thinking

00:10:47.920 i don't think that every girl that goes to coachella or country thunder is a 304 right

00:10:56.760 i think women especially super young women want to have fun so if you met me at coachella you

00:11:05.500 could have got me before i had a massive youtube channel i mean i like if i got to go

00:11:10.060 I got grounded. But imagine I went.

00:11:17.640 Before I have a social media addiction, I'd only smoked weed once.

00:11:24.640 I was a virgin at the time, right? And I was going to Coachella.

00:11:32.540 Had we met, you could have been my first mistake. You know what I mean?

00:11:36.700 and that's women in general you know i was thinking i thought long and hard about this 1.00

00:11:41.960 i think the church is the worst place to meet women i think you have better odds of getting a

00:11:48.500 thin attractive virgin trad wife at coachella than you do at church because what decisions 1.00

00:11:57.780 did you have to make to go to church right what decisions did you make to wind up in church 1.00

00:12:09.060 probably the decisions you so the same woman right that you could meet at church probably went to 0.95

00:12:17.380 coachella but you could have got her before all the mistakes you could have been the number one mistake

00:12:27.780 i think that country thunder coachella and all those concerts are really not as bad as

00:12:39.860 conservatives say i think it's a bl a great place to meet your wife 1.00

00:12:45.780 on top of it coachella um is a concert that women that don't go to concerts 1.00

00:12:57.780 go to so if you go to some of those um big events a normal woman that doesn't go to 0.92

00:13:07.120 concerts on a regular basis like again i almost went to coachella

00:13:10.980 and i'm not someone that really likes that kind of stuff i'm not going to do that on a regular basis

00:13:16.560 okay bobby you're getting kicked i i don't need i don't i don't like it when people come in here

00:13:25.480 to nag me. Why are you in my chat nagging me? Anyways. Okay. And now a couple of things 0.68

00:13:37.120 I wanted to talk about. I just wanted to rant today. So a couple of things I wanted to rant

00:13:40.640 about um twitter has taken by storm ella langley's i think i'm saying her last name right music video

00:13:53.920 so conservatives are kind of crashing out because ella langley's number one song

00:14:06.680 is going super viral and it's kind of a bop like let me just

00:14:11.240 i'm going to react to ben shapiro reacting to it because

00:14:17.080 um i don't want to get copyright and i'm assuming if they

00:14:22.840 let me find it one second

00:14:36.680 So, there's a song called Choose in Texas.

00:14:41.620 I wish I could react to the video, but they get copyright.

00:14:45.300 But Choose in Texas is essentially a song about a woman who's in love with a man, and he is in love with his high school sweetheart.

00:14:51.900 So, Ella Langley is dating some guy, and they're in Tennessee, and she's trying to get him to love Tennessee.

00:14:58.600 And really, his heart is back in Texas with his high school sweetheart.

00:15:02.300 and his high school sweetheart um it's kind of a it's choosing texas so you know what

00:15:09.180 i'll sing it i'll sing it um he's choosing texas i can tell by the way

00:15:18.080 hold on hold on let me let me read it i'm gonna read the lyrics he's got me

00:15:23.040 around the room you always you think you know the songs until

00:15:31.360 all right just when i thought i got him to fall in love with tennessee

00:15:41.280 i should have known better than to take him back to abilene

00:15:48.080 there you go i put him right back into her arms i wasn't a match for that kind of spark and then

00:15:56.400 it goes okay you ready done done done she's choosing texas i can tell by the way he's

00:16:05.280 two-stepping around the room so he's choosing texas i can tell by the way he's two-stepping

00:16:12.560 around the room so that's that's a double homicide because um

00:16:17.200 what i can't even hum this you've got to be kidding me

00:16:23.480 we're just gonna go through the lyrics i'll just say them

00:16:27.920 i'm like all over the place today okay we're gonna i'm gonna show ben shapiro's reaction

00:16:34.900 then we'll go through the lyrics i can do the show i can do it

00:16:37.980 i mean this is fine it's like a normal country song

00:16:46.460 i mean gotta admit yeah fairly generic and that's fine here's the thing the midness of it i think

00:16:59.280 is the draw like we are so looking for normie right now that anything that's just like oh my

00:17:02.900 gosh this is relaxingly normal it's just gonna be a pretty girl playing a guitar and talking

00:17:06.860 about how texas is great and couples dancing that's kind of what people are looking for right

00:17:11.020 now you know what that's okay you know how hungry this country is from we'll see

00:17:24.860 okay so now everyone's crashing out because she beat whitney houston i will always love you

00:17:31.340 and i want to talk about why everybody's crap i want to talk about why women love this song

00:17:36.860 and why everybody's crashing out that it's so popular okay we're gonna go through the lyrics 0.94

00:17:42.540 and i'm gonna explain it all right so just when i thought all right just when i thought i got him

00:17:49.700 to fall in love with tennessee i should have known better than to take him back to abilene

00:17:55.740 i put him right back into her arms i wasn't a match for that kind of spark she's from texas

00:18:02.080 i can tell by the way he's two-stepping around the room so this plays into the female experience 0.75

00:18:09.440 which is that you'll never be able to compete with um new poonanny and women we can we all know that 0.91

00:18:18.560 feeling when we're dating a guy and the hotter younger better than us in every day that way 0.73

00:18:23.920 poonanny comes in and you see it in his face so and judging by the smile that's written there you 0.69

00:18:30.720 you go on his face there's nothing i can do it doesn't take a crystal ball to see a cowboy will

00:18:36.480 always find a way to leave drinking jack all by myself he's choosing texas i can tell

00:18:41.520 um and in this music video all right so that's that's the concept she's singing about an alpha

00:18:49.880 and in the music video she realizes he's in love with this other girl and he just leaves

00:18:58.620 she leaves and this is the female fantasy um i'm gonna give newt credit here because he explained

00:19:04.020 this to me because when women are in love and we have a guy that makes us feel something

00:19:08.480 we never leave we put up with you know i have a friend who who's um a cheater he just he loves

00:19:16.340 cheating he's had he has multiple girlfriends at the same time his cheating system is impeccable

00:19:21.140 really um diabolical just um i i feel bad for the women he seduces okay

00:19:29.140 and um he probably goes through 50 to 100 women all your future wives um he meets them at coachella

00:19:35.620 you know what i mean um and he said of all the women he's cheated on he's only had one

00:19:42.020 that had self-respect and left

00:19:44.900 we don't we don't and any girl that says oh i would never do that she's done that

00:19:56.160 so that's why this is a female fantasy because when we're in love with a guy we just waste our

00:20:01.740 time we waste months of our lives and that that's why it's going viral and what's happening is we're 0.94

00:20:08.600 switching from a talent economy to a storytelling, a female storytelling economy. 1.00

00:20:17.260 So in the old days, men were part of the consumer base. So remember, women got spending power when 1.00

00:20:23.160 we got credit cards in 1970. The fundamental, the gold standard switched and now women have 1.00

00:20:29.860 all the money. So now that women can spend money they don't have, now things that are popular are 0.99

00:20:36.520 what women like and men like women that are talented so you know obviously that's why i

00:20:41.820 have a male audience you know a lot of talent here um but seriously um men men pick talent 0.95

00:20:51.800 and beauty obviously so she beat out whitney houston on on some billboard something i don't

00:20:57.980 understand how the rankings work but regardless um it's the same reason taylor swift is popular

00:21:06.240 It's not because Taylor Swift is an amazing musician and just this incredible voice.

00:21:14.240 It's that she's a mid girl that is really good at telling stories.

00:21:18.380 And a lot of women can relate to Taylor Swift. 0.64

00:21:20.960 And you see her publicly date alphas that break her heart. 0.97

00:21:24.640 And then she finally found one that stuck around.

00:21:36.240 alan langley so again it's not and the you know the reason that people are upset is because their

00:21:45.220 level of popularity doesn't equal their talent that's why people don't like them it's not because

00:21:53.900 the song is country like a lot of people are making this to a race war saying people are

00:21:58.300 jealous of white people it's a great thing country music is back and i don't really agree with those

00:22:04.120 takes because nobody would care if the song was popular but it shouldn't be this popular it's the

00:22:15.760 same thing with taylor swift she should be successful but she shouldn't be a billionaire

00:22:20.880 that's not michael jackson that's billionaire level talent right he was an amazing musician

00:22:26.660 he could dance even chris brown you know chris brown i would say if he didn't you know have

00:22:33.000 his anger issues he would probably be a billionaire too so that's why people don't like ella langley

00:22:51.900 it's not because they're jealous or whatever it's because the song shouldn't be this popular

00:23:03.000 it's not, I will always love you, you know?

00:23:29.240 Anyways, I think that's all I have to say right now.

00:23:31.660 i just wanted to rant i wanted to rant i wanted to see you guys i was gonna do it later but i i

00:23:39.860 was i was thinking i don't have a two-hour stream in need i just i i wanted to put this out there

00:23:45.780 so i love you guys thanks for watching um and i will see you next oh oh actually

00:23:54.580 okay you want me to keep going i can keep going

00:23:57.660 actually i need to film an ad i need to film an ad i need to film an ad

00:24:05.880 all right guys before you go before you go we are doing a private dinner event so you can get

00:24:17.040 dinner with me terrence pop um and christine grace smith september 11th in new york city

00:24:23.040 the dinner is capped at 20 people and also um if you get vip we're gonna book a podcast studio out

00:24:30.100 there and you can actually see the behind the scenes of a debate so i'm gonna i don't know

00:24:36.100 who it's gonna be yet a mystery person we are going to do a podcast debate and you can actually

00:24:43.300 be in the studio and watch me debate live so if you want to buy it go to the audacity network.com

00:24:51.440 you click events, you click this event here and tickets, and then you buy a ticket. So

00:24:58.360 you click in quantity and then you can check out. So I would love to see you guys at my

00:25:07.480 event in New York city. Um, it's going to be capped at 10, maybe 20 people. So if you want

00:25:14.080 to come buy, buy quick, it's, you know, tickets are selling pretty fast. So like the video guys

00:25:19.260 and I'll see you next time.

00:25:24.200 How was that?

00:25:24.960 How would the ad do?

00:25:26.140 How was the ad?

00:25:27.860 How was the ad?

00:25:29.060 All right, guy.

00:25:30.320 All right, guys.

00:25:32.540 I love you and I'll see you next time.

Pearl - July 31, 2026

Find Your Wife at Coachella!!!

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