Pearl - July 31, 2026


Find Your Wife at Coachella!!!

Mentioned
Coachella Taylor Swift Chris Brown Whitney Houston Michael Jackson Ella Langley Pearl
We Got Kicked Out Of A Serbian Orthodox Church Your Trad Wife is Not At Church

Episode Stats


Length

25 minutes

Words per minute

137.07

Word count

3,510

Sentence count

104

Harmful content

Misogyny

21

sentences flagged

Toxicity

9

sentences flagged

Hate speech

15

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.960 what is up my ninjas guys i think i have too much energy to live in normal society 0.65
00:00:10.320 i go out i'm in normal society and i just want to be like guys america's fat and
00:00:16.600 apparently you can't just go around saying that which is super crazy 0.72
00:00:24.460 super crazy
00:00:25.680 you know
00:00:28.560 I might have to let my dog out
00:00:32.360 as per usual 0.95
00:00:33.240 look at her you guys want to say hi
00:00:36.200 you want to say hi alright
00:00:37.400 alright stop begging
00:00:39.360 okay baby oh yes
00:00:42.440 yes
00:00:45.000 say hi
00:00:45.500 oh baby
00:00:45.980 Oh, okay. All right. So, all right. Today I want to make the case and I know,
00:01:11.100 I know this is contradicted things I said in the past. Okay. I know you guys are going to come at
00:01:17.780 me and say, Pearl, you've always talked shit about festivals. Um, and I do hate festivals, 0.99
00:01:26.180 the kind of person I am. I, I, you know, I think I analyze myself too much. Solipistic.
00:01:31.400 I'm a woman just etc um but I don't know if me not liking social events a lot is um lazy
00:01:45.640 or a good thing you know most of my life I don't think I've lived a well-balanced life like I just
00:01:54.480 never really I don't want to say never because you know I've been alive for a while but consistent
00:02:01.380 went to, um, concerts, events. I just kind of found them boring. Um, and I think part of it
00:02:09.820 was because I've always struggled with my weight. So if I went to a lot of those events, I would get
00:02:14.680 fat and I really just didn't want to be fat. Um, I don't, can any of the girls in the chat,
00:02:20.820 anybody had this dilemma? So I really missed, um, you know, when I was 16 or 17, no, no, no,
00:02:30.980 no, no, no. It's all a blur. I was 17. I actually had tickets to go to Coachella. Okay. Coachella
00:02:37.220 tickets, I had country thunder tickets. And to be fair, um, I was pretty innocent in high school.
00:02:43.400 I just didn't really do a lot. Um, I didn't drink for most of it. Um, I drank a little my senior
00:02:51.160 year, but it was, it was with my mom. So I don't know if, does that really, is that bad? My mom
00:02:56.120 was the first one to drink with me. Is that, is that bad? I don't know, but I always played two
00:03:02.480 sports. So I was always really busy, you know, cause I would have two practices back to back,
00:03:06.980 go to bed, you know, wake up the next day. I've always, you know, athletics has just been a big
00:03:12.120 part of my life um but when i was young a lot of women um did go to coachella country thunder i'm
00:03:22.280 from chicago so that was kind of the norm and i wanted to be one of them i i bought my tickets
00:03:28.360 um for the first time ever and i was ready to go uh but then um i ended up i threw a party in high
00:03:38.200 school and by the way i just want to give you guys a little preface i had a lot of freedom in high
00:03:44.440 school just in general i was one of 10 kids so we all got a ton of freedom um never at a curfew
00:03:52.600 and part of the reason i had so much freedom was because i genuinely for the most part was a good
00:03:57.160 kid so um the year before i did travel sports and my parents left me home for a month i was by myself
00:04:06.440 and i didn't throw a single party didn't have people over didn't do anything i just went to
00:04:10.200 practice went home i i didn't like imagine and i lived in a 10 bedroom mansion i lived in a giant
00:04:17.480 house nothing but my senior year i was feeling a little more rambunctious and um so i decided
00:04:26.840 I was going to throw a party. Okay. So, um, but I knew it wasn't going to be a big party. It was
00:04:36.560 going to be 20 people tops. So me had a few friends over and we decided to throw a party
00:04:41.420 and I went to great lengths. Relax dog. What? Stop. Stop. Relax. Stop. Chill. Relax. Okay.
00:04:56.840 Okay. So going back, going back to this, where was I? What was I talking about?
00:05:04.980 What was I talking about? Oh, the party. So I had a, I had a few friends and it was four friends
00:05:14.560 and we decided we were going to go on a bender for like a week straight. And I went from, by the way,
00:05:19.520 I'm gonna I'm gonna incriminate myself today fuck it fuck it I'm just feeling it I'm feeling it I 0.99
00:05:26.980 will incriminate okay so um my friends um I I know when I threw the party I could count on one hand 0.99
00:05:38.640 the amount of times I drank and it was all it was mostly with my mother okay so um these three
00:05:46.000 friends were a few of them were stoners you know and this time um this party this party um it was
00:05:58.100 like 20 people at it was a week straight basically and it started with four people then the next day
00:06:03.340 it was 10 then 15 then 20 and my family was on vacation so i end up i end up cleaning up the
00:06:08.920 house and everything's good right and i'm going to say allegedly i don't want to i don't want to
00:06:13.560 admit to a cry actually it's legal now um and the funny thing was I smoked weed for the first time
00:06:19.500 at this party now again I was very innocent I'd never smoked um I never smoked weed in my life
00:06:28.560 and um I had this like blunt in front of me and I smoked it and I remember I was
00:06:34.260 coughing and everyone was making fun of me because um because I had never smoked weed before right
00:06:43.560 so we clean up we leave and I go join my family on vacation and um then we my family and I come
00:06:53.320 back from vacation and my dad gets really upset with me um really really upset with me he goes
00:07:00.300 up to me and he says um I found alcohol in the trash and I was confused
00:07:07.080 i knew i cleaned up so what do i do am i am i admitting am i whatever so i don't know my my dad
00:07:17.820 ends up um showing me a bought a bag full of beer cans and i'm looking at these beer cans and i'm
00:07:26.060 thinking we drank shots we did not drink beer at this party so i'm really confused
00:07:34.920 i didn't drink beer 0.87
00:07:38.400 we were ripping that was part of the problem some girl puked because she was ripping shots you know 1.00
00:07:45.500 hold on she's got to go out she's got to go out okay okay 1.00
00:07:53.760 go ahead go ahead bitch 1.00
00:07:57.440 no let me 1.00
00:08:06.560 what the hell is wrong with you i'm gonna make the case for coachella 0.62
00:08:11.900 so by the way at the time i had my country thunder and coachella tickets um and my parents 0.83
00:08:19.880 um it turned out the reason my dad found this beer can these beer cans
00:08:26.500 was because my friends that I thought were my friends came back to my parents' house
00:08:32.280 because they knew I was leaving and threw another party after I left.
00:08:48.520 So that caused my parents to go through everything.
00:08:52.400 My phone, my texts, all this stuff, right?
00:08:57.060 i and um they actually found a text from me saying please delete the picture of me with the weed
00:09:06.020 and it was incredible because i i'd never smoked in my life before this
00:09:14.740 so my dad thought i was a stoner and i hate weed it's not good it doesn't taste good
00:09:21.620 i'm like dad i've never seen my dad so disappointed he really thought i was like a
00:09:27.780 druggie and going down that path i never went down that path i'm not gonna say i never i never tried
00:09:34.660 it you know i'm not i'm not gonna say i never did it like i did but i just never liked it do
00:09:40.340 you know what happened every time i smoked i felt like my arms were heavy and i would just get so
00:09:46.100 annoyed. I'm like, why are my arms so heavy? And then, yeah, I just never liked, it just was never
00:09:58.520 my thing. So anyways, my dad's like crying because he thinks I'm a drug addict and all this. And you
00:10:07.440 know what the crazy thing is? My next two siblings, my next two younger than me, they threw parties
00:10:12.360 all the time, never got in trouble. My parents didn't even care. I paved the way. I threw one
00:10:17.820 party with 20 people. I'm going to let her back in. 1.00
00:10:24.880 All right, so this caused me to get my Coachella tickets taken, and I have never attended Coachella,
00:10:43.840 right but it got me thinking
00:10:47.920 i don't think that every girl that goes to coachella or country thunder is a 304 right
00:10:56.760 i think women especially super young women want to have fun so if you met me at coachella you
00:11:05.500 could have got me before i had a massive youtube channel i mean i like if i got to go
00:11:10.060 I got grounded. But imagine I went.
00:11:17.640 Before I have a social media addiction, I'd only smoked weed once.
00:11:24.640 I was a virgin at the time, right? And I was going to Coachella.
00:11:32.540 Had we met, you could have been my first mistake. You know what I mean?
00:11:36.700 and that's women in general you know i was thinking i thought long and hard about this 1.00
00:11:41.960 i think the church is the worst place to meet women i think you have better odds of getting a
00:11:48.500 thin attractive virgin trad wife at coachella than you do at church because what decisions 1.00
00:11:57.780 did you have to make to go to church right what decisions did you make to wind up in church 1.00
00:12:09.060 probably the decisions you so the same woman right that you could meet at church probably went to 0.95
00:12:17.380 coachella but you could have got her before all the mistakes you could have been the number one mistake
00:12:27.780 i think that country thunder coachella and all those concerts are really not as bad as
00:12:39.860 conservatives say i think it's a bl a great place to meet your wife 1.00
00:12:45.780 on top of it coachella um is a concert that women that don't go to concerts 1.00
00:12:57.780 go to so if you go to some of those um big events a normal woman that doesn't go to 0.92
00:13:07.120 concerts on a regular basis like again i almost went to coachella
00:13:10.980 and i'm not someone that really likes that kind of stuff i'm not going to do that on a regular basis
00:13:16.560 okay bobby you're getting kicked i i don't need i don't i don't like it when people come in here
00:13:25.480 to nag me. Why are you in my chat nagging me? Anyways. Okay. And now a couple of things 0.68
00:13:37.120 I wanted to talk about. I just wanted to rant today. So a couple of things I wanted to rant
00:13:40.640 about um twitter has taken by storm ella langley's i think i'm saying her last name right music video
00:13:53.920 so conservatives are kind of crashing out because ella langley's number one song
00:14:06.680 is going super viral and it's kind of a bop like let me just
00:14:11.240 i'm going to react to ben shapiro reacting to it because
00:14:17.080 um i don't want to get copyright and i'm assuming if they
00:14:22.840 let me find it one second
00:14:36.680 So, there's a song called Choose in Texas.
00:14:41.620 I wish I could react to the video, but they get copyright.
00:14:45.300 But Choose in Texas is essentially a song about a woman who's in love with a man, and he is in love with his high school sweetheart.
00:14:51.900 So, Ella Langley is dating some guy, and they're in Tennessee, and she's trying to get him to love Tennessee.
00:14:58.600 And really, his heart is back in Texas with his high school sweetheart.
00:15:02.300 and his high school sweetheart um it's kind of a it's choosing texas so you know what
00:15:09.180 i'll sing it i'll sing it um he's choosing texas i can tell by the way
00:15:18.080 hold on hold on let me let me read it i'm gonna read the lyrics he's got me
00:15:23.040 around the room you always you think you know the songs until
00:15:31.360 all right just when i thought i got him to fall in love with tennessee
00:15:41.280 i should have known better than to take him back to abilene
00:15:48.080 there you go i put him right back into her arms i wasn't a match for that kind of spark and then
00:15:56.400 it goes okay you ready done done done she's choosing texas i can tell by the way he's
00:16:05.280 two-stepping around the room so he's choosing texas i can tell by the way he's two-stepping
00:16:12.560 around the room so that's that's a double homicide because um
00:16:17.200 what i can't even hum this you've got to be kidding me
00:16:23.480 we're just gonna go through the lyrics i'll just say them
00:16:27.920 i'm like all over the place today okay we're gonna i'm gonna show ben shapiro's reaction
00:16:34.900 then we'll go through the lyrics i can do the show i can do it
00:16:37.980 i mean this is fine it's like a normal country song
00:16:46.460 i mean gotta admit yeah fairly generic and that's fine here's the thing the midness of it i think
00:16:59.280 is the draw like we are so looking for normie right now that anything that's just like oh my
00:17:02.900 gosh this is relaxingly normal it's just gonna be a pretty girl playing a guitar and talking
00:17:06.860 about how texas is great and couples dancing that's kind of what people are looking for right
00:17:11.020 now you know what that's okay you know how hungry this country is from we'll see
00:17:24.860 okay so now everyone's crashing out because she beat whitney houston i will always love you
00:17:31.340 and i want to talk about why everybody's crap i want to talk about why women love this song
00:17:36.860 and why everybody's crashing out that it's so popular okay we're gonna go through the lyrics 0.94
00:17:42.540 and i'm gonna explain it all right so just when i thought all right just when i thought i got him
00:17:49.700 to fall in love with tennessee i should have known better than to take him back to abilene
00:17:55.740 i put him right back into her arms i wasn't a match for that kind of spark she's from texas
00:18:02.080 i can tell by the way he's two-stepping around the room so this plays into the female experience 0.75
00:18:09.440 which is that you'll never be able to compete with um new poonanny and women we can we all know that 0.91
00:18:18.560 feeling when we're dating a guy and the hotter younger better than us in every day that way 0.73
00:18:23.920 poonanny comes in and you see it in his face so and judging by the smile that's written there you 0.69
00:18:30.720 you go on his face there's nothing i can do it doesn't take a crystal ball to see a cowboy will
00:18:36.480 always find a way to leave drinking jack all by myself he's choosing texas i can tell
00:18:41.520 um and in this music video all right so that's that's the concept she's singing about an alpha
00:18:49.880 and in the music video she realizes he's in love with this other girl and he just leaves
00:18:58.620 she leaves and this is the female fantasy um i'm gonna give newt credit here because he explained
00:19:04.020 this to me because when women are in love and we have a guy that makes us feel something
00:19:08.480 we never leave we put up with you know i have a friend who who's um a cheater he just he loves
00:19:16.340 cheating he's had he has multiple girlfriends at the same time his cheating system is impeccable
00:19:21.140 really um diabolical just um i i feel bad for the women he seduces okay
00:19:29.140 and um he probably goes through 50 to 100 women all your future wives um he meets them at coachella
00:19:35.620 you know what i mean um and he said of all the women he's cheated on he's only had one
00:19:42.020 that had self-respect and left
00:19:44.900 we don't we don't and any girl that says oh i would never do that she's done that
00:19:56.160 so that's why this is a female fantasy because when we're in love with a guy we just waste our
00:20:01.740 time we waste months of our lives and that that's why it's going viral and what's happening is we're 0.94
00:20:08.600 switching from a talent economy to a storytelling, a female storytelling economy. 1.00
00:20:17.260 So in the old days, men were part of the consumer base. So remember, women got spending power when 1.00
00:20:23.160 we got credit cards in 1970. The fundamental, the gold standard switched and now women have 1.00
00:20:29.860 all the money. So now that women can spend money they don't have, now things that are popular are 0.99
00:20:36.520 what women like and men like women that are talented so you know obviously that's why i
00:20:41.820 have a male audience you know a lot of talent here um but seriously um men men pick talent 0.95
00:20:51.800 and beauty obviously so she beat out whitney houston on on some billboard something i don't
00:20:57.980 understand how the rankings work but regardless um it's the same reason taylor swift is popular
00:21:06.240 It's not because Taylor Swift is an amazing musician and just this incredible voice.
00:21:14.240 It's that she's a mid girl that is really good at telling stories.
00:21:18.380 And a lot of women can relate to Taylor Swift. 0.64
00:21:20.960 And you see her publicly date alphas that break her heart. 0.97
00:21:24.640 And then she finally found one that stuck around.
00:21:36.240 alan langley so again it's not and the you know the reason that people are upset is because their
00:21:45.220 level of popularity doesn't equal their talent that's why people don't like them it's not because
00:21:53.900 the song is country like a lot of people are making this to a race war saying people are
00:21:58.300 jealous of white people it's a great thing country music is back and i don't really agree with those
00:22:04.120 takes because nobody would care if the song was popular but it shouldn't be this popular it's the
00:22:15.760 same thing with taylor swift she should be successful but she shouldn't be a billionaire
00:22:20.880 that's not michael jackson that's billionaire level talent right he was an amazing musician
00:22:26.660 he could dance even chris brown you know chris brown i would say if he didn't you know have
00:22:33.000 his anger issues he would probably be a billionaire too so that's why people don't like ella langley
00:22:51.900 it's not because they're jealous or whatever it's because the song shouldn't be this popular
00:23:03.000 it's not, I will always love you, you know?
00:23:29.240 Anyways, I think that's all I have to say right now.
00:23:31.660 i just wanted to rant i wanted to rant i wanted to see you guys i was gonna do it later but i i
00:23:39.860 was i was thinking i don't have a two-hour stream in need i just i i wanted to put this out there
00:23:45.780 so i love you guys thanks for watching um and i will see you next oh oh actually
00:23:54.580 okay you want me to keep going i can keep going
00:23:57.660 actually i need to film an ad i need to film an ad i need to film an ad
00:24:05.880 all right guys before you go before you go we are doing a private dinner event so you can get
00:24:17.040 dinner with me terrence pop um and christine grace smith september 11th in new york city
00:24:23.040 the dinner is capped at 20 people and also um if you get vip we're gonna book a podcast studio out
00:24:30.100 there and you can actually see the behind the scenes of a debate so i'm gonna i don't know
00:24:36.100 who it's gonna be yet a mystery person we are going to do a podcast debate and you can actually
00:24:43.300 be in the studio and watch me debate live so if you want to buy it go to the audacity network.com
00:24:51.440 you click events, you click this event here and tickets, and then you buy a ticket. So
00:24:58.360 you click in quantity and then you can check out. So I would love to see you guys at my
00:25:07.480 event in New York city. Um, it's going to be capped at 10, maybe 20 people. So if you want
00:25:14.080 to come buy, buy quick, it's, you know, tickets are selling pretty fast. So like the video guys
00:25:19.260 and I'll see you next time.
00:25:24.200 How was that?
00:25:24.960 How would the ad do?
00:25:26.140 How was the ad?
00:25:27.860 How was the ad?
00:25:29.060 All right, guy.
00:25:30.320 All right, guys.
00:25:32.540 I love you and I'll see you next time.