Pearl - September 28, 2026


Men Need to STOP Falling for Therapy Speak!

Topics
therapy speak
Mentioned
Joshua Lysak Orion Terraman Jack Posobiec Scott Adams Hitler Noah
Modern Women Have TOO MUCH not TOO LITTLE community Women Having MELTDOWNS Over Completely Normal Dates

Episode Stats


Length

16 minutes

Words per minute

166.38

Word count

2,736

Sentence count

123

Harmful content

Misogyny

7

sentences flagged

Toxicity

5

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00 What's up, guys? Welcome to my reaction series. Today, we're going to be reacting to Joshua Lysak.
00:00:06 He came on the channel. I mean, he's going to talk about how therapy speak is used to manipulate men.
00:00:12 But before we start, guys, we are doing an event in Dallas, October 2nd, Friday and Saturday next week, whatever that is.
00:00:20 The normal tickets, you get to hang out with me all weekend going to a gun range.
00:00:23 A UFC fighter is going to teach a class. That's VIP.
00:00:26 7 o'clock Friday at a place in Dallas that you will be emailed if you buy the ticket.
00:00:32 We're going to do tacos and tequila Friday.
00:00:34 It's going to be real fun.
00:00:36 So anyways, today we're going to react to Joshua doing therapy speak.
00:00:40 So how to defeat it.
00:00:42 You're not holding space for my mental load.
00:00:45 I need boundaries around my emotional labor.
00:00:49 I am making a bid for emotional connection before practical correction. 1.00
00:00:56 you toxic, narcissistic abuser. This is my truth. All of this is therapy speak. We need to have a 1.00
00:01:02 national conversation about this. I'm going to credit Dr. Orion Taraban. He did a video on this
00:01:09 a few weeks ago, where he talked about how the introduction of therapy speak into the discourse,
00:01:13 specifically in marriage, dating, and relationships, has resulted in the moralizing
00:01:20 of amoral issues in order to turn a disagreement into a conversation about you being a bad person
00:01:29 for not obeying, kowtowing, or otherwise submitting to my will. And it's usually women who are doing 1.00
00:01:35 this because toxic femininity historically is the use of undermining that are a low intensity 1.00
00:01:42 conflict tactic set that is just under the radar of violence, but has the same impact. By the way,
00:01:51 that's one of the unrestricted warfare techniques of the Chinese Communist Party against the United 0.97
00:01:56 States is the use of toxic femininity. Fascinating, is it not? But that's a whole other video. 0.86
00:02:02 Returning to this, the only way to defeat these techniques is to deploy them in a counter strike.
00:02:09 now this makes a lot of people uncomfortable particularly your principled conservative types
00:02:15 who believe in having an honest conversation and fairness and what would happen yeah because
00:02:20 because you can only be fair with women that are fair and women aren't fair so now you gotta you 1.00
00:02:25 gotta bring a gun to a gunfight reversed dish it's about to find out it's about to find out
00:02:32 what happens when the roles are reversed because what's happening here there is no good faith
00:02:38 conversation happening in the world of therapy speak you and your your your wife your your
00:02:44 fiance let's say have a disagreement about let's say a particular activity associated with the
00:02:49 children or anything that's practical that is well i think we should do it this way i think we should
00:02:54 do it that way who's going to be here who wants this uh what's happening here what's happening
00:02:58 there i think it should be this way no i think it should be that and then the moralizing therapy 0.98
00:03:03 speak makes usually the man because shit woman gets it from her therapist it makes the man into 0.98
00:03:08 bad wrong toxic dismissive disrespectful a boundary breaker because oh you won't respect 0.99
00:03:16 my boundaries like boundaries i have around you obeying me at all times and the irony of course
00:03:22 is that the person deploying the therapy speak accusatory language is the person doing all the
00:03:29 things that they're saying. The only way to win in this situation, win without fighting. So with
00:03:35 the vast majority of cases, your best bet's going to be a most expensive divorce lawyer you can find
00:03:40 in the United States. So that's your first thing. Second thing is to use it right back.
00:03:45 Law of exact reciprocity has been denigrated by well-meaning individuals over the centuries
00:03:49 with certain activists claiming that an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
00:03:54 we laugh this is obviously not the case eye for an eye laws protect innocent eyes from assault
00:04:00 by aspiring yes oh my god that's so true an eye for an eye gougers who are now made to fear the
00:04:07 consequence of that reciprocal eye removal law and rightly so that's without reciprocity we are
00:04:14 without civilization we become anti-civilization we become unhuman this was true then later and now
00:04:23 Speaking also of the Aryan Law of Exact Reciprocity, the reason we did not have a nuclear World War III, but rather a Cold War, that standoff over a number of decades with the Soviet Union, was due to this very law. 0.68
00:04:36 The doctrine specifically was called Mutually Assured Destruction, Atomic Diplomacy. 0.69
00:04:43 Hold on.
00:04:44 that is what protects you from the forces of unhumanity and when someone is using therapy
00:04:51 speak against you they are attempting to unhuman you they are taking you as a person and they are
00:04:57 reducing you to someone that they can manipulate that they could control you are not dealing with
00:05:02 a good faith person this is most likely your wife your mother yeah and they do this all the time
00:05:08 like it's crazy they put it in school they put it in oh my god sister uh an npr don't forget the
00:05:15 hyphen an npr american a facebook american a reddit american who has decided that you are now
00:05:21 to be unperson because you will not do what they say a lot of people particularly conservative men
00:05:26 and the saying goes a man is only as conservative as his wife allows him to be 100 correct you are
00:05:33 being unhuman in your own home i highly recommend the book i just want this done the best divorce
00:05:40 book ever written not just me saying that rayford palmer is the author of it the way to counter
00:05:46 strike way to counter attack is to use their language against them mutually assured destruction
00:05:52 exact reciprocity they say that you are disrespecting their boundaries you're violating
00:05:59 the boundaries by not you not obeying your wife anymore uh as a good little husband does while you
00:06:05 simply respond with you're invalidating my reality oh my gosh should i use that in debates
00:06:13 look at you are invalidating my reality what can i use against them oh my god that's so
00:06:19 time one of these weapons is brought out they say oh it's my i have an unbearable
00:06:25 mental load that's my truth you counter and say that's it's my truth that the emotional labor
00:06:33 you're demanding of me violates my boundaries that's my truth you use the exact language back
00:06:41 and uh there's another great book called become immune to manipulation on my shelf back there by
00:06:45 noah ravoy he points out that enough rounds of this saber rattling this the deployment of the
00:06:52 the iron law of exact reciprocity can force them to do one thing and one thing only that you need
00:06:58 to treat you like a human being again. All right, let's see what number... Cultivate a willingness
00:07:03 to be disagreeable, to be insulted, to be called not nice. Manipulators will call you a number of
00:07:09 hostile names. Become immune to... Oh, I want to read that book. Track your defenses. When you
00:07:15 recognize their tactics, you remove their ability to hurt you. This is by our Noah Ravoy. Become
00:07:21 immune to manipulation. I'm going to return to it in a moment. Therapy speak is where you
00:07:28 repackage normal, everyday, amoral human experiences, conflicts, or quirks using some
00:07:36 sort of self-helpy jargon to assault the humanity of your intended victim with the
00:07:43 the intention, rather, to come across enlightened, educated. You pathologize ordinary behavior in
00:07:54 order to try to manipulate the person and to respond in a certain way and kowtowing to your
00:08:00 demands. There are some fantastic examples, dare I say fantastic, examples of therapy speak. Now,
00:08:06 this is the third video in this series I have been doing on therapy speak. This is going to
00:08:10 the longest one yet because i'm going to share with you first the examples of therapy speak and
00:08:15 then i'm going to explain some tactics from and with a reading from become immune to manipulation
00:08:20 by noah ravoy here are some examples of therapy speak i'm not ghosting you i'm honoring my nervous
00:08:27 system's need for safety your feedback triggered my abandonment wound so i had to disengage to
00:08:33 protect my inner child notice what both of these do both of these are attacks on you
00:08:40 as a person but what do they also do they also excuse the poor dare i say unethical behavior
00:08:50 of the person the actual person who's doing the gas lighting is a gas lighter the person
00:08:57 accusing you of toxic narcissistic abuse is in fact toxically no and that's the thing and that's
00:09:04 the problem is the person that the chill person that has no drama never is the one 0.79
00:09:11 bitching so you know it's always the the one complaining all the time about everyone that's 0.96
00:09:17 the real problem abusing you verbally every accusation is projection with a manipulator 0.67
00:09:26 every insult is a confession returning to some examples here i can't hold space for that
00:09:32 conversation right now it's too heavy for my mental load to bear oh dear we're not incompatible
00:09:38 we have different attachment styles that aren't aligned oh it's so good these are weapons of mass
00:09:43 verbal destruction it's not a lie it's a trauma response i haven't processed yet i need to work
00:09:49 on my it's not a lie it's not a trauma response i haven't processed people pleasing before i can
00:09:57 can show up authentically bonus if you say i need to do the work isn't that book by what nicole
00:10:03 para called the work something like that that is one of the books that popularized therapy speak
00:10:08 by the way it is you might recall that that meme i believe it's from the symptoms simpsons where
00:10:14 the individual is looking downcast thinking is this the problem could i be the problem no it's
00:10:21 literally everyone but me. Therapy speak results in an accountability-free zone. It's a complete
00:10:27 ejection of and therefore rejection of responsibility in any relationship. It is
00:10:33 taking the toddler spirit of, you take the cookie? When obviously they did. No, I didn't. You did.
00:10:39 You took the cookie. Why did you take the cookie? It's toddler-like response to being caught, to
00:10:46 doing something that you know is wrong, it's a defense. It's a manipulative defense, but it is
00:10:51 a defense nonetheless. Let's see. You're not respecting my emotional labor. You're expecting
00:10:56 me to explain basic things. Amazing. I'm not being difficult. I'm setting a boundary around
00:11:02 my energy. Oh, that's such a good one. I'm not being difficult. I'm setting a boundary. Oh my
00:11:07 God. Such a good one. That's where you're asking someone to do something very basic.
00:11:12 These often appear in soon-to-be-divorce marriage situations between spouses where often the
00:11:19 man is expected in the current year, the man is expected to earn 100% of the money or close to
00:11:24 it, but do at least 50% of the household work because that's fair. That's fair. That's fair.
00:11:31 So you'll often hear entitlement maxed women use these expressions when really what's happening 1.00
00:11:38 is they're rewriting history. We had a rupture. I think we could repair if we both take radical 1.00
00:11:43 responsibility. That's a way of saying you take radical responsibility. My avoidant attachment
00:11:50 is making me pull away. Oh dear. I'm not procrastinating. I'm experiencing executive
00:11:55 dysfunction due to my neurodivergence. By the way, you'll hear gentle parents use that expression.
00:12:01 You talk about neurodivergence. My child's brain just works differently. They'll say,
00:12:07 oh my my child threw a tantrum and destroyed the entire um wine aisle and left it a bit of a red
00:12:14 flood there in his wake because he has pathological demand avoidance it's completely invented it's a
00:12:21 way of saying i never parented my child therefore these abnormal behaviors i have not just allowed
00:12:28 i have enabled them i've transformed my child into this because they're my friend they're my
00:12:34 friend. Coming back to this now. For example, Noah says, I never respond to insults. If you insult
00:12:39 me, you get blocked. I always avoid answering insincere questions. If hostile, ignore. If just
00:12:45 hostile, or rather, if not hostile but curious, make them do the work. It's jiu-jitsu. Hold on
00:12:51 until they get tired. It's easier to deflect a punch than to throw one. Let manipulators expend
00:12:57 their energy. Respond when they are exhausted. Just like with castle walls, laying siege takes
00:13:02 a toll on the attackers. They get more cartoonish, even goofy, as subtle manipulation stops working.
00:13:08 They reach the point at which the insanity is unbelievable, even to strangers who don't know
00:13:12 you. That's when the Hitler comparisons come out. They hang themselves with their own rope.
00:13:17 What about silence? Does silence mean consent and admission of guilt? Sometimes. You can remain
00:13:22 silent and let the insanity speak for itself, unless you've got a killer reply that deflates
00:13:26 enemy momentum. In that case, insults help you. I am strong, tall, and in shape. Is someone
00:13:32 accuses me of being a skinny geek no woman wants all i have to do is post a photo of my physique
00:13:36 and or my three children not showing their faces of course the accuser loses all credibility
00:13:42 remember that manipulation has three parties you the manipulator and the audience manipulators are
00:13:47 trying to break you down in front of the audience but the tactics are discussed and if those wow
00:13:52 that's really interesting watching ever recognize what the exploiter is really doing they will turn
00:13:57 on them. Nobody likes a puppet master. So another point here brought up in this book and also been
00:14:03 brought up in the Inhumans book by being Jack Posobiec is atomic diplomacy, mutually assured
00:14:08 destruction, the iron law of exact reciprocity. One of the ways to counter, to both defend and
00:14:14 then counter to make the person talk to you like you're a human being is to use these tactics back
00:14:20 against them. They're what the late great influencer Scott Adams would have might have called
00:14:25 linguistic kill shots, meaning there's not really any defense against them besides shooting back.
00:14:32 They work so well because as Dr. Orion Terraman has said, they turn amoral issues into moral
00:14:39 accusations. Hey, we're trying to find a way, you know, what's for dinner? Oh, yet another
00:14:44 expectation violating the boundaries of my lived experience. And so when she asks you for money,
00:14:52 say you violated my the boundaries of my lived experience adding to my mental load of which i'm
00:14:58 holding space for my energy toxic narcissistic abuser entitled gaslight okay you know that's what
00:15:05 happens the only way to respond to that number one is if is if you're married you contact a divorce
00:15:11 lawyer it's over it's over a spouse who unhumans the other like that there is no coming back from
00:15:16 that it is over all you can do now is engage in a controlled landing of the relationship the
00:15:22 marriage the finances everything okay it is so over there is no it's so back from there okay
00:15:29 in that case the audience is domestic relations court for what it's worth now in other situations
00:15:38 other relationships beyond that you want to keep that as private as possible understand
00:15:42 for the benefit of everyone but other situations there will be an audience and to show that you
00:15:47 know what's going on here and you can play the game you defend against them by whipping them
00:15:52 right back out there there's that expression hitchens razor that which is presented without
00:15:58 evidence can be dismissed without evidence that is a knock on them but also a knock for you
00:16:04 someone calls you a toxic narcissistic abuser you say their gaslighting gives you the ick what are
00:16:09 are they going to do keep going you can answer them all day i've gotten a couple they're gas
00:16:13 lighting so they call me a grifter i gotta say i don't know all right guys that's a really great
00:16:19 video um let me know what you think in the comments um i love you thank you so much for
00:16:23 watching and like the video subscribe to the channel and i'll see you next time