00:35:37.920i don't know it's pretty glad looks pretty glamorous to me so they always downplay all
00:35:41.840the benefits they got which is meeting like a lot of important people beautiful women that every man
00:35:49.200wants and surely they don't suffer with insecurities or a lot of money that they always blow
00:35:54.400so yeah validation issues and everybody wants them so i thought that's what i want to be
00:35:59.200when i got into the industry i was 18 years old and it was a very very different uh ball game than
00:36:06.360what i thought i was entering into so i saw the glamour on e true hollywood story but i'm 18 so
00:36:12.260they saw perfect young girl let's dress her up like a child and this is real talk it is absolutely
00:36:18.500disgusting they would it's not something can you imagine that i'm the porn star telling me what
00:36:24.840disgusting is shut the fuck up bitch i don't know how do you guys go through life and not want to
00:36:32.760like proud of they would put me in pigtails and school girl outfits and pair me with old men
00:36:39.360given the illusion of pedophilia now i at that time was not a woman of just doubt it i'd have
00:36:46.880to see the video and i don't really want to see that conviction i didn't know god i was just
00:36:52.060trying to do whatever i could for freedom in life because i had a very controlling family
00:36:56.780but that one thing i developed a conviction over and i told my agent i cannot do these scenes with
00:37:02.680these pigtails in school girl uniforms i said do you know that this type of work is encouraging
00:37:07.160grown men to go out and molest children i said i don't want any part to do with this
00:37:11.120and so I put my foot down and I stopped doing those types of scenes but you think even the
00:37:17.380women that had the big hair and the makeup it's there's nothing glamorous about pornography just
00:37:22.280read the titles I'm not going to list them here because they're highly inappropriate but there's
00:37:27.100nothing glamorous or empowering just read the titles like enough said on that what role of
00:37:32.360drugs played in in your life when you were in that industry drugs what's now it's the drugs why can't
00:37:40.300just be hey i was horny as hell i was young do you know who i prefer um i really prefer this
00:37:48.300whore i have a number one draft pick for whores right now i'm talking about you
00:37:58.780um there's some tick tock let me see what i did
00:38:10.300um I think is this part let's see teen years old that is the fact that you were 18 it feels
00:38:24.460my favorite ex-ho like you were 21 like when because she said this sentence okay here you
00:38:30.700look back on it because we used to watch the show right that was yeah that was like one of the I
00:38:34.540it that's a good show i also watched kendra on top though too oh cool yeah i watched all of them
00:38:40.940but yeah you're right it's you wouldn't think like oh those people are only 18 at the time
00:38:45.580well i was i know but i'm just not the other two yeah she was the youngest how old are the other
00:38:50.700ones like in like 20s in the 20s if you were knowing everything you know after everything
00:38:57.340you've been through and you were to tell your 18 year old self something what would you tell
00:39:00.620You know what? You're doing the right thing. You're on the right track. You're doing the right thing. And even my closest friends that are godly or people that go to church or my very, very amazing real estate partner, they know I struggle with some shame and regret a little bit in life.
00:39:21.820but you know i'm like you know what else was i supposed to do i was 18 i was about to get
00:39:27.420knocked up by this like 20 something year old this guy and it was a choice i had to make was
00:39:35.060i gonna you know be a stripper in san diego and get knocked up by this guy like or take this
00:39:43.240one-way ticket to la and move into the playboy mansion and come on like at the time in san
00:39:49.840Diego your circumstances were that that you would you would have made that decision those were the
00:39:53.660only two choices I had in my life oh my god she just lost points there's a point in this interview
00:39:59.160and I have to I just thought of it as we were watching where she says like she basically takes
00:40:06.960accountability and says yeah I knew what I was doing at that moment I didn't have college I had
00:40:13.140none of that i had so i happens you know and being all crazy and stuff like that so um when i turned
00:40:21.52018 and i moved out like i what you know i had this option whatever whatever she just lost points
00:40:29.640there was a part in the interview where she did not say it was coercion or some bullshit and just
00:40:34.300said hey i knew i had to sleep with him we did it once a week it was kind of gross but whatever
00:40:40.100were my escape drugs gave me a false sense of happiness um i started using drugs about a month
00:40:49.400in the industry because uh you know i had i had anorexia in high school and so i was already
00:40:55.480struggling with body dysmorphic disorder and a director told me you are so fat you're disgusting
00:41:01.420you need to lose weight and i was not fat it was 105 pounds five feet one inch i wasn't fat
00:41:06.660and so from there i just thought okay i need to lose weight fast so i start talking to a model
00:41:12.440that i was living with in the model house and she offered me cocaine and i instantly got hooked and
00:41:18.700i started using drugs every single day it went from cocaine to prescription pills to eventually
00:41:25.440heroin and then eventually crystal meth so i was on drugs pretty much my entire seven years of the
00:41:32.580industry a lot of the adult film actresses and actors consume drugs or take drugs yeah to
00:41:39.380survive in that it's so sad pastor vlad i lost last year several friends to overdoses especially
00:41:47.300right now with fentanyl being put in the drugs like i lost several friends due to fentanyl over
00:41:54.260overdoses and it was unintentional but they were using drugs just the porn industry it kills your
00:42:00.900soul the wages of sin is death and you start to feel okay you know i'd believe this if they
00:42:07.780didn't look so happy doing it like look at this okay
01:13:12.520Pearl, I came across your channel a while back, but I'm asking why should a female youngster listen to you instead of a female who has only ever dated her husband and been with him for 60 to 70 years?
01:13:21.940pearl just honest well they don't listen to me that's true that's very true they're not here
01:13:30.600so don't i they're not listening to the 60 to 70 year married um either yeah and what percentage
01:13:41.360of of your audience do you this fiery both think are women it's not a lot 10 yeah they're not here
01:13:48.800And by the way, I would probably, to be honest, half of the married women are crazy.
01:13:56.140Even the ones that have been married 60 to 70 years.
01:13:59.260So for the doc, thank you for the super chat.
01:52:51.220Absolutely. It did bring fear into me. One of the things that really brought fear to me is like, okay, they're sending it to me, but what if they send it to my family?
01:52:59.960Well, one day, my father, you know, goes and talks to one of his friends, and his friends actually watched her porn.