Pearl - Women Are Taking Antidepressants Instead Of Accountability

00:00:00.000 I love being on an SSRI because it has made me so ruthless with men when it comes to dealing

00:00:05.500 with them and dating and relationships, and I love who my SSRI has made me become.

00:00:13.000 For reference, I'm taking fluoxetine, also known as Prozac.

00:00:16.560 I've been taking it for about seven months now for rumination OCD, and before I was medicated,

00:00:22.460 my OCD would quite literally take over my mind in the area of relationships specifically.

00:00:28.600 this made dating extremely difficult for me to the point where i would get so attached to anybody

00:00:35.020 that gave me an ounce of attention that i had any sort of connection with i would take it

00:00:39.580 so personally every single time something didn't work out with someone so much so to the point

00:00:44.880 where i would take full accountability every single time something didn't work out even if

00:00:49.640 it was completely the other person's fault for why it didn't work out because i was so dead set 1.00

00:00:54.640 Yeah, women, see, do you notice how like the one time she took accountability, 1.00

00:01:00.160 she circumvented and found a way to not take accountability, 1.00

00:01:03.100 to now blame her mental health or whatever the hell.

00:01:06.120 I'm trying to find an answer as to why things weren't working out.

00:01:09.520 And so my rumination episodes would look like me trying to go through every single scenario

00:01:14.540 of what could have went wrong, what I could have said differently,

00:01:17.900 what I could have done differently to try to get the result that I wanted,

00:01:21.080 which was a committed relationship.

00:01:22.720 and i'm not exaggerating when i say my mentality with this has shifted tenfold since starting

00:01:28.900 prozac my cutoff game is so strong now i don't even care if a guy talks now she's taking drugs

00:01:36.720 and she's going to be more picky that's incredible that's incredible me anymore because i'm just like

00:01:43.160 okay well you got to show me that you're actually interested in me like there's so many other things

00:01:47.160 that we need to figure out before i get any sort of attached to you if a guy says something that i 0.99

00:01:53.060 don't like or if he disrespects me in any sense i will call him that's again women get older 0.98

00:01:57.480 boundaries get higher where there's things that we would have laughed off when we were young

00:02:01.340 out on it because before i used to now you need to call him out on it that's amazing that person

00:02:06.220 that would keep all of my feelings to myself because i was afraid of ruining things and i

00:02:09.840 was afraid that they would abandon me if i said something that they didn't like which now i'm

00:02:13.520 realizing like if someone's gonna walk away from me speaking my mind then that's not my person at

00:02:18.040 all so i literally just tell men how it is now i don't care what they're gonna say back to me

00:02:24.260 because it's like why are you not treating me with respect to begin with which is something

00:02:29.440 that i used to let slide all the time in previous years before i was medicated i would be such a

00:02:34.380 doormat i would let men walk all over me again because i was so afraid that if i made any sort

00:02:40.580 of mistake that they were going to leave me and by doing that i was just perpetuating the issue

00:02:45.520 of them thinking that they could walk all over me that they could disrespect me i was subconsciously

00:02:51.200 teaching them how to treat me and so now again i really do think it's because of the medication

00:02:56.260 i no longer ruminate about the what could have been i no longer put the whole idea of potential

00:03:03.340 on a pedestal i'm just able to view things as they are and i take people and situations at face value

00:03:09.520 depending on the situation i may give somebody a second chance but it's not very often anymore

00:03:14.940 that i do that but just in general now the way that my mind is no longer consumed with thoughts

00:03:19.960 about not being in a relationship being single dating all of these things feels like such a

00:03:25.500 weight off my shoulders and honestly it feels like that's the thing see she could work harder

00:03:30.100 to find a boyfriend if that's what was causing the anxiety and like fix whatever the problem was 0.94

00:03:34.860 or she could take drugs that's why I don't think it's that the women are that different and like 1.00

00:03:39.640 mentally ill than the past I think we just make we have the choice to make more poor choices and

00:03:44.220 we do which catch up to us later and also we have the opportunity to be lazier than ever and we're

00:03:49.760 gonna pick that every single time my mind is so clear now because before I was medicated I

00:03:54.720 literally would cry about this daily if not daily then it would be at least every couple days like

00:04:00.600 i would find something to ruminate about that had something to do with the reason why i was single

00:04:05.840 why i had never been in a relationship and it would eat me alive like it would put me into a

00:04:10.960 deep depression and now that my mind is actually filled with thoughts that serve me and i spend my

00:04:17.240 time doing so many different things that i wasn't doing before because i now have the energy and i'm

00:04:22.000 no longer stressed because those ruminating thoughts are no longer there is night and day

00:04:27.040 difference like i was so convinced that something was fundamentally wrong with me because relationships

00:04:32.700 were so difficult but now i mean something probably was and is wrong with you but now you

00:04:36.760 just instead of fixing it you just you know put yourself on medication realizing like dating is

00:04:41.500 so hard for everyone and i just know for a fact that if i was not medicated right now i would

00:04:46.520 probably still be participating in those really self-harming thought patterns because those oh my

00:04:52.580 god we accountability and poor results turn to self-harming thought we are just so spoiled it's

00:04:59.440 incredible thought patterns were just completely eating myself worth the way i'm going to the next

00:05:03.920 one i'm going to the next one pro like two weeks ago and i don't know i feel like i have no

00:05:11.800 personality anymore is this normal like will this wear off obviously i'm going to talk to my doctor

00:05:15.900 but i've been coming to y'all for medical advice for quite a while now um and everybody you're

00:05:21.620 to tick tock for medical advice okay you deserve what you get to be here always is just so helpful

00:05:26.500 is this normal i know people say like wait a month three months women will just eat each other i just

00:05:33.140 feel like i'm not even making myself laugh internally that's so off i'm probably think

00:05:39.140 the only person that ever laughs at my jokes and i'm not even laughing at my jokes so something's

00:05:43.620 wrong it's not wrong and obviously i know that could be right maybe you're not that funny you're

00:05:47.860 gonna be different for a while while my body adjusts but um what's y'all's lexapro experience

00:05:52.820 like please i've literally never taken an ssri i just did it because i had cancer and i literally

00:05:59.220 could not cope i will say i don't feel as shit like i felt so awful for the first week and a 0.72

00:06:05.620 half ish i mean like within the past two days i don't feel that shit i'm able to you know get up 0.96

00:06:10.260 and do things to be productive and not be dead to the world but is this normal to feel a little like 0.78

00:06:16.100 yeah i mean that's kind of what they do they dull your light or whatever which is great for the rest

00:06:20.840 of us i you know if any of you guys have women on ssris do they ever get less annoying like how

00:06:26.620 does it let me know really oh hey um yeah i'm fine how's your turtle doing i saw you post that

00:06:32.680 she was sick oh yes yeah um she died what yeah yeah last week oh oh my god are you okay i know 0.71

00:06:41.160 you like that was like your best friend yeah no it was awful it really sucked well i'm so sorry

00:06:46.720 you you're holding it together really well yeah add sweating profusely to this i'm on 100 milligrams 0.99

00:06:53.940 of cetra lane you have about five minutes of me giving a fuck about something until my meds are 0.97

00:06:59.060 like nah you good i mean at least you have work right like to distract you i guess keep you busy 0.98

00:07:03.340 oh no i got fired when yeah i was dealing with the whole turtle thing you know so i was calling

00:07:08.920 out and then they just oh my god that's awful no yeah it was pretty awful we have to do something

00:07:15.920 about we have to like sue them that's illegal no i actually don't think it is well what did sam do

00:07:20.920 when you told them oh uh yeah no sam and i broke up yeah no they broke up with me you were telling

00:07:25.880 me your turtle died you lost your job and you got broken up with in the same week yeah it's been a 0.99

00:07:31.440 rough one how are you still standing hmm yeah that'd be kind of nice to not have the women 0.95

00:07:39.100 crash out all right let's see taking SSRIs as someone who fought it for 10 years leftovers 0.98

00:07:44.500 and I thought I would tell you about my experience going on medication for the first time first few

00:07:50.040 days I felt like I was on a microdose of molly or something I was so insanely elated and calm

00:07:56.820 and happy that it was kind of bizarre and my brain got really quiet almost too quiet

00:08:02.020 but I was like a little freaked out by it and I was really hoping my thoughts would come back

00:08:07.340 weeks following I was exhausted and probably more depressed than I had been before so I was a little

00:08:13.740 concerned about it but I knew that that was just something I had to kind of power through a lot of

00:08:18.400 people said that it gave them insomnia so I was taking in the morning it made me really tired

00:08:22.840 instead so i started taking it at night and now i sleep like a baby best thing that's happened

00:08:26.540 is i saw someone else talk about this and this is the perfect way to explain it

00:08:29.800 it feels like nothing because all of a sudden things just aren't extreme anymore my highs and

00:08:35.620 lows were kind of ruining my life not in like a manic way but in like a if i would get sad that

00:08:42.240 could drag me into a hole of sadness for two or three weeks that would be so difficult to crawl

00:08:47.880 lot of when i was happy it was the happiest i had ever been and everything was so bright and

00:08:53.400 beautiful and when i came down from that it was so disappointing i'm a huge feeler i'm a huge

00:08:57.920 emotional person like you sound insufferable yeah i like to feel everything in the world i remember

00:09:03.200 when i first started taking ssris the moment where i thought i was gonna have a panic attack i was

00:09:06.980 about to have one and then a blanket of calm rushed over me and disappeared so intensely 0.96

00:09:10.780 and i'm on the lowest possible dose i think it's just women being brats i think all of this is 1.00

00:09:16.940 women being spoiled. They, you know, they never got told no their whole life. And now they hear 1.00

00:09:22.380 no and it's a crash out. So I still feel things really intensely. They just don't control me

00:09:27.640 anymore. And I'm able to take my emotions and hold them for a second instead of acting on them right

00:09:33.760 away. And that's what was ruining my life. My emotions controlled every part of me. Now I get

00:09:38.400 sad and I can wake up tomorrow and it's a new day. Also, the biggest thing for me has been,

00:09:44.340 i don't hate myself anymore will you like maybe you should hate yourself why don't we always act

00:09:50.780 like hating ourselves is a bad thing like why is that a bad thing you know um sometimes it's good

00:09:59.400 to hate yourself a little bit there too when it was finally kicking in started bawling in my car

00:10:04.140 because my brain was so used to like coming up with reasons that i hate myself and thinking

00:10:08.880 about them and i couldn't think of it yeah all right guys yeah i mean and if i all right well 1.00

00:10:16.500 this is what's the dating market a lot of antidepressants stds and um bitchy women so

00:10:23.100 anyways all right i love you guys thank you for watching like the video and subscribe um

00:10:28.340 i guess i'll see you next time

Pearl - September 05, 2026

Women Are Taking Antidepressants Instead Of Accountability

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