REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 11. Real Talk： 5 Steps You Can Take To Power Through Dark Times

00:00:00.000 told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living 1.00

00:00:04.680 spoke it till existence mold changed to 50 got mold cost than did it i only weigh 180 but my

00:00:11.520 watch cost 250 what's up guys andy frisella here and this is the show for the realists say goodbye

00:00:18.200 to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality

00:00:23.820 guys today i've got a very special real talk episode if you follow me and you pay attention

00:00:31.700 close you know that the last couple weeks of my life have been one of the darkest times i've had

00:00:37.460 to deal with not for any particular reason there was no tragedy there was no bad thing that happened

00:00:45.400 it was just me going through a very difficult time as you guys know if you follow the old mfceo project

00:00:53.540 show you know that i struggle with depression i've been diagnosed with depression i've dealt

00:00:59.240 with mental health issues uh basically for the last 20 years um it's something that i talk about

00:01:06.140 uh consistently not because i want to be vulnerable or be real but more so because i feel like there's

00:01:14.220 so many people out there that present themselves to be these bulletproof um you know superhero

00:01:21.540 characters when it comes to entrepreneurship and i feel like that actually hurts people's ability

00:01:28.540 to succeed you know i have people approach me every single day yesterday i was at my local gun store

00:01:35.480 here and one of the guys who i've known for a long time uh thanked me for talking about this

00:01:41.180 consistently because he as he communicated to me which is the reason i do this he said look man you

00:01:47.740 know when you struggle with these things and you see all these people succeeding it makes you feel

00:01:52.040 like you can't succeed and so while i'd rather not as you guys know i don't share a lot about my

00:01:59.260 personal life uh i'd share a little bit but i'm i'm sort of a private dude uh and one reason i talk

00:02:05.780 about these things consistently is for for people just like my friend that i was just telling you about

00:02:10.120 you know you might be struggling out there and you might be someone who has dark times and

00:02:16.020 everybody goes through hard times guys everybody does it's just for some people it just gets really

00:02:21.980 really really bad um to the point where you know and i'm just saying this you know you consider the

00:02:28.960 the alternative of ending your life that's a real thought for a lot of people and i know a lot of

00:02:34.460 people that doesn't make sense to i know a lot of you guys listening right now and you hear that you

00:02:39.260 think of it as like weak and you think of it as like a crutch or a selfish thing and you know what i

00:02:45.100 used to think about it like that too uh until it happened to me and then i started to realize that

00:02:50.180 it's really not uh the thing that i thought it was before and so the reason i talk about it guys is

00:02:56.940 because i want you guys to understand that if you're struggling with these things if you have severe

00:03:03.340 darkness if you're dealing with depression it doesn't mean that you can't build an amazing life and

00:03:09.300 it doesn't mean that you don't have a future and it doesn't mean that you can't do anything i could

00:03:15.040 tell you for a fact whether they be an athlete or an entrepreneur or an artist uh you know a music

00:03:20.880 artist or any of these things a lot of these people struggle man and and they don't talk about it

00:03:26.000 because it's embarrassing right it makes us feel weak makes us feel i don't know like it just makes us

00:03:31.240 feel weak i guess that's the best way to say it and so especially with men there's a lot of like

00:03:36.760 pride and ego and things that really make it tough for a lot of men to talk about and be about and you

00:03:43.540 don't have to talk about it you don't have to be transparent about it you could deal with it

00:03:47.600 all right but i talk about it because i want you to know that it's still possible to kick ass when 0.55

00:03:55.080 you're dealing with these things and so what i wanted to do today is i wanted to go through uh five

00:04:00.640 steps real quick that i think can help you when it comes to getting through these tough times and

00:04:08.260 these are things that i literally have learned about myself through some realizations i've had

00:04:14.260 over the last uh month or so and some of these things came from other periods of time where i went

00:04:19.480 through that but i made this note in my phone and i'm just going to go through it man um to myself

00:04:24.560 so that i could go back and recognize how to get out of these dark times and that's why i've put it

00:04:30.460 in my phone so i would just like to share these five steps that i've learned that will help you

00:04:35.660 manage some of these dark times that you're dealing with as well so the first thing that i want you to

00:04:42.520 learn how to do is this learn what your triggers are okay what causes you to start going down that path

00:04:50.180 if you learn to recognize it it's going to become easier to prevent it and when you can prevent it

00:04:56.140 that's a hell of a lot easier than trying to dig out of the hole once you're in it so for me one of

00:05:02.860 the things that triggers me is obviously i'm in a high stress position i run a bunch of different

00:05:09.340 companies and none of them are small all right so i'm constantly being asked i'm constantly being

00:05:15.440 overwhelmed and this is going to sound stupid to you guys but one of my triggers is getting asked

00:05:22.560 too many questions all right because i constantly have people asking me things and i'm not saying

00:05:28.160 asking me for things but they're asking me things instead of taking the time to go teach themselves the

00:05:34.400 answer they just continually ask me and ask me and ask me and guys we only have so many decisions

00:05:40.180 that we can make in a day with our emotional energy so what happens to me is i don't stop this

00:05:47.920 from happening and i let people just keep asking me and asking me and asking me and asking me and it

00:05:52.740 wears me the fuck out and so i can realize that that's a trigger for me that i have to actually pull 0.80

00:05:59.300 away and really kind of just tell people like hey can you find that answer on google yeah well go

00:06:06.920 fucking google it all right and not only am i am i saving myself by doing that i'm helping them learn 0.85

00:06:14.480 how to learn new things on their own so while that may feel rude to do it's something i have to do to

00:06:22.340 protect my ability because when i shut down dude i shut down for weeks at a time where i won't even

00:06:28.580 show up to work all right so i know that that's one of my triggers and now i'm aware of it so now i can

00:06:35.340 handle it when people start to unload their emotional shit onto me and they ask me a bunch 0.75

00:06:40.340 of questions i can stop that all right so you might have a different trigger but i'm just explaining my

00:06:45.820 situation with you guys uh point number two stay in your routine all right get up shower train eat

00:06:53.740 good it's hard as fuck when you feel the way that you feel and you're going through these dark times 0.64

00:06:59.860 but the structure of you staying in a routine will help pull you back to normalcy okay during this dark

00:07:07.700 time i happen to be on phase three of 75 hard and that's been a huge blessing for me during this this

00:07:14.720 time because normally when i would go through one of these dark phases i would literally stay in bed

00:07:22.720 all day long okay for for for weeks at a time i know that sounds excessive but it's true

00:07:28.500 okay weeks at a time not get out of bed run shit through my phone it's possible okay so one of the 0.73

00:07:37.280 things about 75 hard and the live hard program is that it forces you to get up it forces you to take

00:07:46.100 the cold shower it forces you to train it forces you to get outside it forces you to eat properly

00:07:53.520 and since i'm such a stubborn motherfucker and i refuse to lose i will push through my negative 0.80

00:08:01.240 feelings in the dark times to make sure i get those done now are they being done you know to the best of

00:08:08.440 my abilities probably not but the truth is i'm doing them the best that i can do them at the time that i can

00:08:15.320 do them and that counts for a lot so guys staying with the routine now i'm not plugging 75 hard but

00:08:22.620 if you're not doing it and you haven't done it you should fucking do it i guess that's a plug but it's 0.90

00:08:27.840 the truth too all right so point number two stay in your routine point number three take the negative

00:08:34.120 energy you have and put it out in the form of positive action if you use the negativity as fuel

00:08:41.880 what you're doing is you're essentially taking something that cripples others and using it to

00:08:47.480 propel you into new areas of success okay the excitement of that alone is going to help you

00:08:54.940 get back on track because you're going to know yeah dude even though i feel like shit even though i'm 0.79

00:09:00.980 having a hard time even though i'm going through this dark period of time i'm still gaining ground on

00:09:06.460 the people i'm competing against if you can learn to take the negative and instead of letting it stop

00:09:12.640 you letting it drive you into doing effective tasks that are going to help you get where you want to

00:09:18.540 dude that is the ultimate competitive advantage all right so learn how to take negative energy and put

00:09:25.180 it out in the form of positive action doesn't matter how dark it is i know what it feels like to have

00:09:31.000 zero motivation but remember this kind of links back with point number two which is stay in your

00:09:36.000 routine all right so understand that when it gets dark when it's hard when it's tough when you're

00:09:43.560 battling through these times all the people you're competing against those people are quitting that

00:09:49.420 creates a gap between you and them every single time every single time they shut it down and you keep

00:09:55.280 going you're improving and they're not and that should make you feel good and it's going to help

00:10:01.340 put you back on the right track okay point number four sometimes you just need a fucking day to rest 0.91

00:10:08.360 all right sometimes you need two days to rest but never longer than two never longer than two days out

00:10:15.960 of your routine ever okay because it becomes easy to make that three four five days all right so

00:10:24.360 getting a day to yourself to rest to lay in bed and not do shit that doesn't mean anything 0.84

00:10:30.960 sometimes that's what exactly what you need and that's okay all right so understand that sometimes

00:10:38.120 you just are going to need a day and you might need two days but do not let it go past two days

00:10:44.060 going past two days is going to fuck up your routine it's going to make your mentality worse you know it 0.80

00:10:50.620 and i know it all right so know the difference of when you need that day that's point number four

00:10:56.480 and point number five is this if you're in charge and a lot of you are because this is an entrepreneur

00:11:02.760 success based show that's just what it is um and you can't control your emotions you can't control

00:11:10.580 your darkness which i have a problem with to be completely honest stay away from the office when 0.99

00:11:17.000 you're in a bad mood or in a dark place uh it's a lot better for business to not have you know a

00:11:23.680 negative tornado ripping through the office ruining everybody else's fucking mood this is something that 0.94

00:11:30.280 i have learned by actually creating problems that i didn't need to have that were only created because

00:11:37.860 i was in that dark place so then what happened is the momentum started to compound because i go through

00:11:46.300 the office i fucking you know bring everybody down i distract them i get them off track which 0.99

00:11:52.600 creates more problems for me as the owner so if you're the owner or you're the operator or you're

00:11:58.320 the head honcho whatever the fuck you want to call yourself and you're in this place fuck dude stay 0.99

00:12:04.140 away man it'll cost you money if you have to stay away for two days and then you come back people will

00:12:10.440 never even know that you were fucked up so now you come back in the office as normal and everybody's 0.96

00:12:15.220 still on track this one took me a long time to learn i used to unload all my stuff on everybody

00:12:20.740 man and it's something that i think has cost me a lot of time and progress and certainly cost me some

00:12:25.220 good employees over the years so learning how to manage and stay away when you know that you can't

00:12:30.460 control it is a big part so let me review these five steps and guys i'm sure there's a hundred more

00:12:36.620 and if you need more steps for this you know follow other people that talk about this consistently

00:12:42.480 you know dr nicole lapera the holistic psychologist she's my favorite but here's the review okay one

00:12:48.980 learn what your triggers are two stay in your routine no matter what three take the negative

00:12:54.840 energy and put it out in the form of positive action four recognize if you are at the point where

00:13:01.520 you just need a day know the difference between maybe you're being a little bit of a wuss and maybe

00:13:08.340 you actually do need a day know that difference okay and number five if you're the head honcho

00:13:13.120 and you're in these places stay the fuck away from your team don't go in your office and let everybody 0.94

00:13:19.320 know that you're all fucked up tell them you're not feeling well and stay the fuck home don't unload 0.99

00:13:24.800 your shit on them because all that does is create more problems for you and you might unknowingly trigger 0.79

00:13:30.200 one of them to go into a dark place too because you're putting all kinds of pressure and anxiety

00:13:36.400 and bad things into their brain so think about it like that it's a bad business decision so guys

00:13:42.380 that's pretty much it man that's the five steps that that i think uh help me the most pull out of

00:13:47.820 these these dark times much faster and if you're going through one of these dark times guys right now

00:13:53.160 understand it's going to pass everything is cyclical there's going to be highs there's going to be good

00:14:00.200 times and there's also going to be bad times and as corny as it sounds you have to understand that

00:14:07.040 without these bad times you wouldn't even know what the good times were so keep that in mind too guys

00:14:13.580 look everything that you want to achieve if you're a driven person if you're trying to become a high

00:14:19.080 operating individual if you want to win you're going to go through this shit it's just part of the deal

00:14:24.960 that we fucking signed up for all right but these five tips will help you pull out of it get back on 0.93

00:14:30.620 track much much sooner now guys that's the show but as i always try to remember to ask i don't always

00:14:40.140 remember to ask if you like the show if it helped you if you learn something which i think the show is

00:14:45.240 really going to hit a lot of you guys the right way in terms of giving you some tools please share the

00:14:49.560 show i don't run a bunch of ads i'm not trying to sell you a whole bunch of bullshit that's not what 0.92

00:14:54.500 this is about this is about helping other people figure out what their problems are and getting

00:15:00.120 them on track so that they can fucking live a better life and they can learn to win all right so if you

00:15:05.700 get anything out of this and you thought it was a value i really appreciate it if you shared it uh if

00:15:11.040 you help it grow and you help us you know get out there for to help other people so guys i love you

00:15:16.060 guys i appreciate you guys and i'll see you next time

00:15:19.020 told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living down spoke it till 1.00

00:15:25.120 existed

00:15:25.560 i'm from where you can't trust so welcome

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - March 05, 2020

11. Real Talk： 5 Steps You Can Take To Power Through Dark Times

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