REAL AF with Andy Frisella - March 05, 2020


11. Real Talk： 5 Steps You Can Take To Power Through Dark Times

Hosted by
Andy Frisella
Mentioned
Andy Frisilla
10. Should You Eat Bambi or Bamboo, How to Avoid Loneliness, and Why the Happy and Successful Play Catch and Release 12. Throwback： LEADERSHIP： The Dichotomy It Takes To Dominate, Ft. Jocko Willink

Episode Stats


Length

15 minutes

Words per minute

187.63

Word count

2,902

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

2

sentences flagged

Toxicity

42

sentences flagged

Hate speech

24

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

The last couple weeks of my life have been one of the darkest times I ve had to deal with. I ve dealt with depression for the last 20 years and I m here to share some of the things I ve learned about how I m dealing with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living 1.00
00:00:04.680 spoke it till existence mold changed to 50 got mold cost than did it i only weigh 180 but my 0.99
00:00:11.520 watch cost 250 what's up guys andy frisella here and this is the show for the realists say goodbye 0.98
00:00:18.200 to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality 0.85
00:00:23.820 guys today i've got a very special real talk episode if you follow me and you pay attention 0.95
00:00:31.700 close you know that the last couple weeks of my life have been one of the darkest times i've had
00:00:37.460 to deal with not for any particular reason there was no tragedy there was no bad thing that happened
00:00:45.400 it was just me going through a very difficult time as you guys know if you follow the old mfceo project
00:00:53.540 show you know that i struggle with depression i've been diagnosed with depression i've dealt
00:00:59.240 with mental health issues uh basically for the last 20 years um it's something that i talk about
00:01:06.140 uh consistently not because i want to be vulnerable or be real but more so because i feel like there's
00:01:14.220 so many people out there that present themselves to be these bulletproof um you know superhero
00:01:21.540 characters when it comes to entrepreneurship and i feel like that actually hurts people's ability
00:01:28.540 to succeed you know i have people approach me every single day yesterday i was at my local gun store
00:01:35.480 here and one of the guys who i've known for a long time uh thanked me for talking about this
00:01:41.180 consistently because he as he communicated to me which is the reason i do this he said look man you
00:01:47.740 know when you struggle with these things and you see all these people succeeding it makes you feel
00:01:52.040 like you can't succeed and so while i'd rather not as you guys know i don't share a lot about my
00:01:59.260 personal life uh i'd share a little bit but i'm i'm sort of a private dude uh and one reason i talk
00:02:05.780 about these things consistently is for for people just like my friend that i was just telling you about
00:02:10.120 you know you might be struggling out there and you might be someone who has dark times and
00:02:16.020 everybody goes through hard times guys everybody does it's just for some people it just gets really
00:02:21.980 really really bad um to the point where you know and i'm just saying this you know you consider the
00:02:28.960 the alternative of ending your life that's a real thought for a lot of people and i know a lot of
00:02:34.460 people that doesn't make sense to i know a lot of you guys listening right now and you hear that you
00:02:39.260 think of it as like weak and you think of it as like a crutch or a selfish thing and you know what i
00:02:45.100 used to think about it like that too uh until it happened to me and then i started to realize that
00:02:50.180 it's really not uh the thing that i thought it was before and so the reason i talk about it guys is
00:02:56.940 because i want you guys to understand that if you're struggling with these things if you have severe
00:03:03.340 darkness if you're dealing with depression it doesn't mean that you can't build an amazing life and
00:03:09.300 it doesn't mean that you don't have a future and it doesn't mean that you can't do anything i could
00:03:15.040 tell you for a fact whether they be an athlete or an entrepreneur or an artist uh you know a music
00:03:20.880 artist or any of these things a lot of these people struggle man and and they don't talk about it
00:03:26.000 because it's embarrassing right it makes us feel weak makes us feel i don't know like it just makes us
00:03:31.240 feel weak i guess that's the best way to say it and so especially with men there's a lot of like
00:03:36.760 pride and ego and things that really make it tough for a lot of men to talk about and be about and you
00:03:43.540 don't have to talk about it you don't have to be transparent about it you could deal with it 0.97
00:03:47.600 all right but i talk about it because i want you to know that it's still possible to kick ass when 0.55
00:03:55.080 you're dealing with these things and so what i wanted to do today is i wanted to go through uh five
00:04:00.640 steps real quick that i think can help you when it comes to getting through these tough times and
00:04:08.260 these are things that i literally have learned about myself through some realizations i've had
00:04:14.260 over the last uh month or so and some of these things came from other periods of time where i went
00:04:19.480 through that but i made this note in my phone and i'm just going to go through it man um to myself
00:04:24.560 so that i could go back and recognize how to get out of these dark times and that's why i've put it
00:04:30.460 in my phone so i would just like to share these five steps that i've learned that will help you
00:04:35.660 manage some of these dark times that you're dealing with as well so the first thing that i want you to
00:04:42.520 learn how to do is this learn what your triggers are okay what causes you to start going down that path
00:04:50.180 if you learn to recognize it it's going to become easier to prevent it and when you can prevent it
00:04:56.140 that's a hell of a lot easier than trying to dig out of the hole once you're in it so for me one of
00:05:02.860 the things that triggers me is obviously i'm in a high stress position i run a bunch of different
00:05:09.340 companies and none of them are small all right so i'm constantly being asked i'm constantly being
00:05:15.440 overwhelmed and this is going to sound stupid to you guys but one of my triggers is getting asked
00:05:22.560 too many questions all right because i constantly have people asking me things and i'm not saying
00:05:28.160 asking me for things but they're asking me things instead of taking the time to go teach themselves the
00:05:34.400 answer they just continually ask me and ask me and ask me and guys we only have so many decisions
00:05:40.180 that we can make in a day with our emotional energy so what happens to me is i don't stop this
00:05:47.920 from happening and i let people just keep asking me and asking me and asking me and asking me and it
00:05:52.740 wears me the fuck out and so i can realize that that's a trigger for me that i have to actually pull 0.80
00:05:59.300 away and really kind of just tell people like hey can you find that answer on google yeah well go 0.87
00:06:06.920 fucking google it all right and not only am i am i saving myself by doing that i'm helping them learn 0.85
00:06:14.480 how to learn new things on their own so while that may feel rude to do it's something i have to do to 0.98
00:06:22.340 protect my ability because when i shut down dude i shut down for weeks at a time where i won't even
00:06:28.580 show up to work all right so i know that that's one of my triggers and now i'm aware of it so now i can
00:06:35.340 handle it when people start to unload their emotional shit onto me and they ask me a bunch 0.75
00:06:40.340 of questions i can stop that all right so you might have a different trigger but i'm just explaining my 0.97
00:06:45.820 situation with you guys uh point number two stay in your routine all right get up shower train eat 0.88
00:06:53.740 good it's hard as fuck when you feel the way that you feel and you're going through these dark times 0.64
00:06:59.860 but the structure of you staying in a routine will help pull you back to normalcy okay during this dark 0.97
00:07:07.700 time i happen to be on phase three of 75 hard and that's been a huge blessing for me during this this
00:07:14.720 time because normally when i would go through one of these dark phases i would literally stay in bed
00:07:22.720 all day long okay for for for weeks at a time i know that sounds excessive but it's true
00:07:28.500 okay weeks at a time not get out of bed run shit through my phone it's possible okay so one of the 0.73
00:07:37.280 things about 75 hard and the live hard program is that it forces you to get up it forces you to take 0.94
00:07:46.100 the cold shower it forces you to train it forces you to get outside it forces you to eat properly 0.93
00:07:53.520 and since i'm such a stubborn motherfucker and i refuse to lose i will push through my negative 0.97
00:08:01.240 feelings in the dark times to make sure i get those done now are they being done you know to the best of 0.97
00:08:08.440 my abilities probably not but the truth is i'm doing them the best that i can do them at the time that i can
00:08:15.320 do them and that counts for a lot so guys staying with the routine now i'm not plugging 75 hard but
00:08:22.620 if you're not doing it and you haven't done it you should fucking do it i guess that's a plug but it's 0.90
00:08:27.840 the truth too all right so point number two stay in your routine point number three take the negative 0.97
00:08:34.120 energy you have and put it out in the form of positive action if you use the negativity as fuel
00:08:41.880 what you're doing is you're essentially taking something that cripples others and using it to
00:08:47.480 propel you into new areas of success okay the excitement of that alone is going to help you 0.69
00:08:54.940 get back on track because you're going to know yeah dude even though i feel like shit even though i'm 0.79
00:09:00.980 having a hard time even though i'm going through this dark period of time i'm still gaining ground on
00:09:06.460 the people i'm competing against if you can learn to take the negative and instead of letting it stop
00:09:12.640 you letting it drive you into doing effective tasks that are going to help you get where you want to
00:09:18.540 dude that is the ultimate competitive advantage all right so learn how to take negative energy and put
00:09:25.180 it out in the form of positive action doesn't matter how dark it is i know what it feels like to have
00:09:31.000 zero motivation but remember this kind of links back with point number two which is stay in your
00:09:36.000 routine all right so understand that when it gets dark when it's hard when it's tough when you're
00:09:43.560 battling through these times all the people you're competing against those people are quitting that
00:09:49.420 creates a gap between you and them every single time every single time they shut it down and you keep
00:09:55.280 going you're improving and they're not and that should make you feel good and it's going to help 0.98
00:10:01.340 put you back on the right track okay point number four sometimes you just need a fucking day to rest 0.91
00:10:08.360 all right sometimes you need two days to rest but never longer than two never longer than two days out 0.95
00:10:15.960 of your routine ever okay because it becomes easy to make that three four five days all right so
00:10:24.360 getting a day to yourself to rest to lay in bed and not do shit that doesn't mean anything 0.84
00:10:30.960 sometimes that's what exactly what you need and that's okay all right so understand that sometimes
00:10:38.120 you just are going to need a day and you might need two days but do not let it go past two days
00:10:44.060 going past two days is going to fuck up your routine it's going to make your mentality worse you know it 0.80
00:10:50.620 and i know it all right so know the difference of when you need that day that's point number four
00:10:56.480 and point number five is this if you're in charge and a lot of you are because this is an entrepreneur
00:11:02.760 success based show that's just what it is um and you can't control your emotions you can't control
00:11:10.580 your darkness which i have a problem with to be completely honest stay away from the office when 0.99
00:11:17.000 you're in a bad mood or in a dark place uh it's a lot better for business to not have you know a 0.99
00:11:23.680 negative tornado ripping through the office ruining everybody else's fucking mood this is something that 0.98
00:11:30.280 i have learned by actually creating problems that i didn't need to have that were only created because 0.97
00:11:37.860 i was in that dark place so then what happened is the momentum started to compound because i go through 0.81
00:11:46.300 the office i fucking you know bring everybody down i distract them i get them off track which 0.99
00:11:52.600 creates more problems for me as the owner so if you're the owner or you're the operator or you're 1.00
00:11:58.320 the head honcho whatever the fuck you want to call yourself and you're in this place fuck dude stay 0.99
00:12:04.140 away man it'll cost you money if you have to stay away for two days and then you come back people will 1.00
00:12:10.440 never even know that you were fucked up so now you come back in the office as normal and everybody's 0.98
00:12:15.220 still on track this one took me a long time to learn i used to unload all my stuff on everybody 0.98
00:12:20.740 man and it's something that i think has cost me a lot of time and progress and certainly cost me some
00:12:25.220 good employees over the years so learning how to manage and stay away when you know that you can't
00:12:30.460 control it is a big part so let me review these five steps and guys i'm sure there's a hundred more
00:12:36.620 and if you need more steps for this you know follow other people that talk about this consistently
00:12:42.480 you know dr nicole lapera the holistic psychologist she's my favorite but here's the review okay one
00:12:48.980 learn what your triggers are two stay in your routine no matter what three take the negative
00:12:54.840 energy and put it out in the form of positive action four recognize if you are at the point where
00:13:01.520 you just need a day know the difference between maybe you're being a little bit of a wuss and maybe
00:13:08.340 you actually do need a day know that difference okay and number five if you're the head honcho 0.99
00:13:13.120 and you're in these places stay the fuck away from your team don't go in your office and let everybody 0.99
00:13:19.320 know that you're all fucked up tell them you're not feeling well and stay the fuck home don't unload 1.00
00:13:24.800 your shit on them because all that does is create more problems for you and you might unknowingly trigger 1.00
00:13:30.200 one of them to go into a dark place too because you're putting all kinds of pressure and anxiety 1.00
00:13:36.400 and bad things into their brain so think about it like that it's a bad business decision so guys
00:13:42.380 that's pretty much it man that's the five steps that that i think uh help me the most pull out of
00:13:47.820 these these dark times much faster and if you're going through one of these dark times guys right now
00:13:53.160 understand it's going to pass everything is cyclical there's going to be highs there's going to be good
00:14:00.200 times and there's also going to be bad times and as corny as it sounds you have to understand that
00:14:07.040 without these bad times you wouldn't even know what the good times were so keep that in mind too guys
00:14:13.580 look everything that you want to achieve if you're a driven person if you're trying to become a high 0.97
00:14:19.080 operating individual if you want to win you're going to go through this shit it's just part of the deal 0.97
00:14:24.960 that we fucking signed up for all right but these five tips will help you pull out of it get back on 0.97
00:14:30.620 track much much sooner now guys that's the show but as i always try to remember to ask i don't always
00:14:40.140 remember to ask if you like the show if it helped you if you learn something which i think the show is
00:14:45.240 really going to hit a lot of you guys the right way in terms of giving you some tools please share the
00:14:49.560 show i don't run a bunch of ads i'm not trying to sell you a whole bunch of bullshit that's not what 0.92
00:14:54.500 this is about this is about helping other people figure out what their problems are and getting 0.96
00:15:00.120 them on track so that they can fucking live a better life and they can learn to win all right so if you
00:15:05.700 get anything out of this and you thought it was a value i really appreciate it if you shared it uh if
00:15:11.040 you help it grow and you help us you know get out there for to help other people so guys i love you
00:15:16.060 guys i appreciate you guys and i'll see you next time 0.64
00:15:19.020 told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living down spoke it till 1.00
00:15:25.120 existed 1.00
00:15:25.560 i'm from where you can't trust so welcome