11. Real Talkļ¼ 5 Steps You Can Take To Power Through Dark Times
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
187.63335
Summary
The last couple weeks of my life have been one of the darkest times I ve had to deal with. I ve dealt with depression for the last 20 years and I m here to share some of the things I ve learned about how I m dealing with it.
Transcript
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told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living
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spoke it till existence mold changed to 50 got mold cost than did it i only weigh 180 but my
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watch cost 250 what's up guys andy frisella here and this is the show for the realists say goodbye
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to the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality
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guys today i've got a very special real talk episode if you follow me and you pay attention
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close you know that the last couple weeks of my life have been one of the darkest times i've had
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to deal with not for any particular reason there was no tragedy there was no bad thing that happened
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it was just me going through a very difficult time as you guys know if you follow the old mfceo project
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show you know that i struggle with depression i've been diagnosed with depression i've dealt
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with mental health issues uh basically for the last 20 years um it's something that i talk about
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uh consistently not because i want to be vulnerable or be real but more so because i feel like there's
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so many people out there that present themselves to be these bulletproof um you know superhero
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characters when it comes to entrepreneurship and i feel like that actually hurts people's ability
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to succeed you know i have people approach me every single day yesterday i was at my local gun store
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here and one of the guys who i've known for a long time uh thanked me for talking about this
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consistently because he as he communicated to me which is the reason i do this he said look man you
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know when you struggle with these things and you see all these people succeeding it makes you feel
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like you can't succeed and so while i'd rather not as you guys know i don't share a lot about my
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personal life uh i'd share a little bit but i'm i'm sort of a private dude uh and one reason i talk
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about these things consistently is for for people just like my friend that i was just telling you about
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you know you might be struggling out there and you might be someone who has dark times and
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everybody goes through hard times guys everybody does it's just for some people it just gets really
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really really bad um to the point where you know and i'm just saying this you know you consider the
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the alternative of ending your life that's a real thought for a lot of people and i know a lot of
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people that doesn't make sense to i know a lot of you guys listening right now and you hear that you
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think of it as like weak and you think of it as like a crutch or a selfish thing and you know what i
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used to think about it like that too uh until it happened to me and then i started to realize that
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it's really not uh the thing that i thought it was before and so the reason i talk about it guys is
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because i want you guys to understand that if you're struggling with these things if you have severe
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darkness if you're dealing with depression it doesn't mean that you can't build an amazing life and
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it doesn't mean that you don't have a future and it doesn't mean that you can't do anything i could
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tell you for a fact whether they be an athlete or an entrepreneur or an artist uh you know a music
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artist or any of these things a lot of these people struggle man and and they don't talk about it
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because it's embarrassing right it makes us feel weak makes us feel i don't know like it just makes us
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feel weak i guess that's the best way to say it and so especially with men there's a lot of like
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pride and ego and things that really make it tough for a lot of men to talk about and be about and you
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don't have to talk about it you don't have to be transparent about it you could deal with it
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all right but i talk about it because i want you to know that it's still possible to kick ass when
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you're dealing with these things and so what i wanted to do today is i wanted to go through uh five
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steps real quick that i think can help you when it comes to getting through these tough times and
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these are things that i literally have learned about myself through some realizations i've had
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over the last uh month or so and some of these things came from other periods of time where i went
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through that but i made this note in my phone and i'm just going to go through it man um to myself
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so that i could go back and recognize how to get out of these dark times and that's why i've put it
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in my phone so i would just like to share these five steps that i've learned that will help you
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manage some of these dark times that you're dealing with as well so the first thing that i want you to
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learn how to do is this learn what your triggers are okay what causes you to start going down that path
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if you learn to recognize it it's going to become easier to prevent it and when you can prevent it
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that's a hell of a lot easier than trying to dig out of the hole once you're in it so for me one of
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the things that triggers me is obviously i'm in a high stress position i run a bunch of different
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companies and none of them are small all right so i'm constantly being asked i'm constantly being
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overwhelmed and this is going to sound stupid to you guys but one of my triggers is getting asked
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too many questions all right because i constantly have people asking me things and i'm not saying
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asking me for things but they're asking me things instead of taking the time to go teach themselves the
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answer they just continually ask me and ask me and ask me and guys we only have so many decisions
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that we can make in a day with our emotional energy so what happens to me is i don't stop this
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from happening and i let people just keep asking me and asking me and asking me and asking me and it
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wears me the fuck out and so i can realize that that's a trigger for me that i have to actually pull
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away and really kind of just tell people like hey can you find that answer on google yeah well go
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fucking google it all right and not only am i am i saving myself by doing that i'm helping them learn
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how to learn new things on their own so while that may feel rude to do it's something i have to do to
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protect my ability because when i shut down dude i shut down for weeks at a time where i won't even
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show up to work all right so i know that that's one of my triggers and now i'm aware of it so now i can
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handle it when people start to unload their emotional shit onto me and they ask me a bunch
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of questions i can stop that all right so you might have a different trigger but i'm just explaining my
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situation with you guys uh point number two stay in your routine all right get up shower train eat
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good it's hard as fuck when you feel the way that you feel and you're going through these dark times
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but the structure of you staying in a routine will help pull you back to normalcy okay during this dark
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time i happen to be on phase three of 75 hard and that's been a huge blessing for me during this this
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time because normally when i would go through one of these dark phases i would literally stay in bed
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all day long okay for for for weeks at a time i know that sounds excessive but it's true
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okay weeks at a time not get out of bed run shit through my phone it's possible okay so one of the
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things about 75 hard and the live hard program is that it forces you to get up it forces you to take
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the cold shower it forces you to train it forces you to get outside it forces you to eat properly
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and since i'm such a stubborn motherfucker and i refuse to lose i will push through my negative
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feelings in the dark times to make sure i get those done now are they being done you know to the best of
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my abilities probably not but the truth is i'm doing them the best that i can do them at the time that i can
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do them and that counts for a lot so guys staying with the routine now i'm not plugging 75 hard but
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if you're not doing it and you haven't done it you should fucking do it i guess that's a plug but it's
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the truth too all right so point number two stay in your routine point number three take the negative
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energy you have and put it out in the form of positive action if you use the negativity as fuel
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what you're doing is you're essentially taking something that cripples others and using it to
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propel you into new areas of success okay the excitement of that alone is going to help you
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get back on track because you're going to know yeah dude even though i feel like shit even though i'm
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having a hard time even though i'm going through this dark period of time i'm still gaining ground on
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the people i'm competing against if you can learn to take the negative and instead of letting it stop
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you letting it drive you into doing effective tasks that are going to help you get where you want to
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dude that is the ultimate competitive advantage all right so learn how to take negative energy and put
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it out in the form of positive action doesn't matter how dark it is i know what it feels like to have
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zero motivation but remember this kind of links back with point number two which is stay in your
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routine all right so understand that when it gets dark when it's hard when it's tough when you're
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battling through these times all the people you're competing against those people are quitting that
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creates a gap between you and them every single time every single time they shut it down and you keep
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going you're improving and they're not and that should make you feel good and it's going to help
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put you back on the right track okay point number four sometimes you just need a fucking day to rest
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all right sometimes you need two days to rest but never longer than two never longer than two days out
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of your routine ever okay because it becomes easy to make that three four five days all right so
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getting a day to yourself to rest to lay in bed and not do shit that doesn't mean anything
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sometimes that's what exactly what you need and that's okay all right so understand that sometimes
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you just are going to need a day and you might need two days but do not let it go past two days
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going past two days is going to fuck up your routine it's going to make your mentality worse you know it
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and i know it all right so know the difference of when you need that day that's point number four
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and point number five is this if you're in charge and a lot of you are because this is an entrepreneur
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success based show that's just what it is um and you can't control your emotions you can't control
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your darkness which i have a problem with to be completely honest stay away from the office when
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you're in a bad mood or in a dark place uh it's a lot better for business to not have you know a
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negative tornado ripping through the office ruining everybody else's fucking mood this is something that
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i have learned by actually creating problems that i didn't need to have that were only created because
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i was in that dark place so then what happened is the momentum started to compound because i go through
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the office i fucking you know bring everybody down i distract them i get them off track which
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creates more problems for me as the owner so if you're the owner or you're the operator or you're
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the head honcho whatever the fuck you want to call yourself and you're in this place fuck dude stay
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away man it'll cost you money if you have to stay away for two days and then you come back people will
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never even know that you were fucked up so now you come back in the office as normal and everybody's
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still on track this one took me a long time to learn i used to unload all my stuff on everybody
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man and it's something that i think has cost me a lot of time and progress and certainly cost me some
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good employees over the years so learning how to manage and stay away when you know that you can't
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control it is a big part so let me review these five steps and guys i'm sure there's a hundred more
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and if you need more steps for this you know follow other people that talk about this consistently
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you know dr nicole lapera the holistic psychologist she's my favorite but here's the review okay one
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learn what your triggers are two stay in your routine no matter what three take the negative
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energy and put it out in the form of positive action four recognize if you are at the point where
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you just need a day know the difference between maybe you're being a little bit of a wuss and maybe
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you actually do need a day know that difference okay and number five if you're the head honcho
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and you're in these places stay the fuck away from your team don't go in your office and let everybody
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know that you're all fucked up tell them you're not feeling well and stay the fuck home don't unload
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your shit on them because all that does is create more problems for you and you might unknowingly trigger
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one of them to go into a dark place too because you're putting all kinds of pressure and anxiety
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and bad things into their brain so think about it like that it's a bad business decision so guys
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that's pretty much it man that's the five steps that that i think uh help me the most pull out of
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these these dark times much faster and if you're going through one of these dark times guys right now
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understand it's going to pass everything is cyclical there's going to be highs there's going to be good
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times and there's also going to be bad times and as corny as it sounds you have to understand that
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without these bad times you wouldn't even know what the good times were so keep that in mind too guys
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look everything that you want to achieve if you're a driven person if you're trying to become a high
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operating individual if you want to win you're going to go through this shit it's just part of the deal
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that we fucking signed up for all right but these five tips will help you pull out of it get back on
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track much much sooner now guys that's the show but as i always try to remember to ask i don't always
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remember to ask if you like the show if it helped you if you learn something which i think the show is
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really going to hit a lot of you guys the right way in terms of giving you some tools please share the
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show i don't run a bunch of ads i'm not trying to sell you a whole bunch of bullshit that's not what
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this is about this is about helping other people figure out what their problems are and getting
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them on track so that they can fucking live a better life and they can learn to win all right so if you
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get anything out of this and you thought it was a value i really appreciate it if you shared it uh if
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you help it grow and you help us you know get out there for to help other people so guys i love you
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guys i appreciate you guys and i'll see you next time
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told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living down spoke it till