206. Q&AF： Overcoming Overthinking, Detecting Lies & Understanding Depression
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of the Real AF feed, we discuss the overthinking mentality and how to overcome it. In this episode, we talk about the power list and how it can help you overcome overthinking and become a better human being.
Transcript
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what is up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to the lies
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the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we
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have qnaf this is where uh dj what's up dj what's going on man is going to ask me questions that
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you submit where do they submit them uh you can email your questions to ask andy at andy for
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sela.com where you submit at ask andy at andy for sela.com and we answer them we do three that's
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the show that's it all right yeah people are loving these shows these q a shows good man now
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if you want more entrepreneur content if you want more life content if you want more how to
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fucking kick ass content uh you could always apply to the rta syndicate as well rta syndicate is a group
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that ed my let and i run and founded that focuses entirely on excellence in all areas of life um
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but that's neither here nor there i'm just telling you where to get my main content at if you're
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interested in that so that's what we do anyway uh let's start the show let's get it in man all
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right so without further ado question number one andy so i consider myself a huge overthinker okay
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i tend to over complicate things a lot it has saved me a few times but i know in my gut that
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it's holding me back what are your thoughts on how to overcome this overthinking mentality
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uh look dude i think it's normal especially when you want when you're somebody who wants to win
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to analyze every single step of every single thing that you're trying to do
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um because we care right like we want to win and we want to win real bad and so we think of our
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you know we have this tendency to like overthink things right we think about like
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how is you know things all the way down from like how's the conversation going to go today right like
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how am i going to have this conversation and i've found that you know i operate on a uh system
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that i built called the power list all right and you can learn about that uh on episode 16 of the
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real af feed now power list is the most valuable tool that i've ever developed for personal development
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myself and keep that in mind i've developed uh 75 hard which is probably the most popular
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personal development program uh over the last three or four years by a lot too not even close
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um so i would put win the day mentality uh the power list system ahead of that and the reason
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that i would put it ahead of that is because it gives you a clear definable list of daily critical
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tasks that you need to execute on to get to where you want to go all right and the way this affects
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overthinking is if you can look back all right like let's just say you're having a bad day right
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and you're like fuck dude i'm such a like i have these days sometimes like such a piece of shit
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dude you know you're not really pulling your weight i've been doing enough yeah you're not doing enough
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this and that well when you use the power list you're able to like actually open the fucking book
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flip through the pages and actually see what it is that you've been doing okay and the reason this
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is important especially when you are executing is it keeps you from overthinking and driving your
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confidence down artificially all right so it's an important thing for you overthinkers and a lot of
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people are overthinkers bro i would say most people who are ambitious if you guys listen to this show
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if you want to make more money if you want to win overthinking is probably part of your
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your process yeah um so i would say one that's normal but two um by keeping uh and using you know
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the powerless system and which is free by the way just go listen to the episode it describes the exact
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system this is just my use for fucking decades and it works okay um if you keep that you have a
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record right so when you start to overthink you look back see it right feel good and or you can
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look back to see but yeah you know what validate it yeah i did fuck up the last three days i missed
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two of my tasks in the last three days in a row man you know i get any i am on a bad streak i got
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a fucking i gotta will my way out of that today and make sure all my shit gets done
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right and then you actually correct um yourself on past so overthinking can serve us too but it
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does hurt us and i think one of the biggest reasons that it hurts us is because we don't
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acknowledge the actions that we are actually taking because we don't have a record of them
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right like most people don't track down their day-by-day tasks yeah and say okay this is what
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i did this day and this is not now don't get this confused like a to-do list it's not what the fuck
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this is like i know a lot of motherfuckers smart smart motherfuckers out there think you're
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smarter than me yeah and you know i'm talking about a get shit done to-do list yeah if you go
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listen to the fucking podcast you'll realize it's a whole different thing just like when 75 hard is
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not a fucking diet right okay so get your fucking head out of your ass and get over your own ego and
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go fucking listen to the podcast yeah because it's the most effective tool you ever fucking use in
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your entire fucking life period i don't care who you are i don't give a fuck if you're elon musk
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i don't care this shit works for everybody i don't care if you if you're living in your
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fucking brother's fucking basement on his couch right now fucking hating life this will work for
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you you just have to execute so uh one that's a way to keep overthinking in check and two recognize
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it's normal and three recognize that overthinking can actually serve you when it's valid yeah that's
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fucking perfect all right question number two andy andy i've recently been having to deal with a lot
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of people lying to me okay but i've had no idea that they were lying to me is there a stone cold
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method for telling if somebody is full of shit uh well if there is i haven't found one but i found
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what i have found is that the more bullshit that you're uh exposed to the easier it is and the
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quicker it is to identify it you know um when i was i don't know how old this person is but when i
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was in my early 20s you know i fucking i like the biggest problem people run into here is that they
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they they think that their nature is the same as everybody else's nature okay and not everybody
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has the same good moral intention nature that you have this is why liberals fucking vote for
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democrats this is exactly why we're here you know these democrat people that vote for joe biden
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they're not bad people they fucking they just think those people think like them and they don't
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those people are actually willing to use the voters the regular people's wants dreams and wishes
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against them okay for their own power and that's part because the people who vote for them oh no
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there's no way not there's no way so i know there's motherfuckers like that yeah okay a lot of
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them you have to realize so part of this is being a realist like you have to acknowledge that there are
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bad people out there and you have to acknowledge that some people have gotten really fucking good
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at being bad people yeah okay so how do you identify that well the way i identify it now in
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my life is i can tell them by three fucking seconds like you know i have motherfuckers every day that
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come up to me and they think they're like pulling some fucking slick shit on me and you know they come
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up and they start telling me how you know i'm like you know like i don't know that you're fucking what
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you're doing bro right like you're not like what andy what do you think about this well here's what
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i thought you know this and this is like this little manipulative shit like bro if you ever come
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to me and you think you're pulling one on me trust me i fucking know and you're just digging yourself
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a fucking grave yeah okay so when you speak to me understand that i already know yeah okay but that's
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what happens after years and years and years of working to identify what we're talking about here
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right all right so most people are just inexperienced and once you become a realist and
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once you recognize that there's a lot of people out there just aren't as good as you would like
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them to be or as good as you know they could be um it becomes easier to identify because the truth is
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we can always see these people in the rearview mirror right like like when you've been done wrong
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in there most of the time can't you go back and like dissect like fuck dude there was this there was
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that there was this or this and most of it comes from us ignoring those signs because we want to
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believe in someone or we want or you know like for example like in a relationship a lot of people are
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in love with the potential of the relationship not the actual relationship right so they build up this
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whole thing and then the person starts showing them that they're not actually that person and they
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never they will never acknowledge or believe it because they've already identified them as something
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else attached to them yeah and this happens all the time so you know one uh address the facts of
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the situation there are bad people out there period two bad people have gotten really good at fucking
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acting like they're not bad people okay three um understand that this is a lifelong learning lesson
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and you're going to continue to run into people because there's enough of them that are shitbags
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all right four actively work to to surround yourself with people that aren't like that that's
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something i didn't hit on yet one of the biggest things that i've done is i have truly eliminated
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every single person from my life that doesn't contribute to it in some way i'm not talking
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about someone who fucking roots for me i'm not talking about sending me a fucking thank you text
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i'm talking about do you go to battle with me every motherfucking day or do you not not and if you
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don't you ain't on my list of people to talk to that day that's it so i insulate myself by
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surrounding myself with people that i fucking trust and guess what sometimes those people that you
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trust are going to fuck you yeah you know so and then you have a decision to make did it was that
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a one-time thing or was that who they are as a person so you have to go back and track their
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history and see what it's about what's that track pay attention yeah but i'm telling you the easiest
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way to pay attention is to pay attention as it's happening you know like i've gotten real good at
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smiling and nodding while people sit there and fucking tell me all this shit that i know is wrong
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right you know i'm saying right like would you i got i got a couple couple people in mind right now
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yeah i can constantly try to bullshit me every fucking time i see them and they think i'm fucking
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too dumb to understand you're too dumb bro yeah just remind you of that you'll learn would you would
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you also say to that like networking is a huge part of that because like you've been it is 20 years
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you know people that know those answers yes but it's not that's not solving a networking group
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you know a lot of people think you just go to a fucking group and it's bro network groups for the
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most part is anybody can join yeah you know what i'm saying oh those people vetted yeah right so like
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how you have to get in where you fit in with the people that you identify uh their values and their
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ethics and their morals and shit because there's people that fall all along those spectrums yeah you
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know i'm saying so you know a lot of it is just fucking you know all right i was
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i'm being a bad you have to acknowledge like this person's been a bad picker of relationships
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right whether it be friend if you got a lot of people lying to you you're gullible you know i'm
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saying if everybody in the world's lying to you it's because you're too stupid to believe it and i
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know that hurts to hear whoever asked this question they're probably like fuck but it is the truth
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so let's acknowledge that that's the truth okay you're not very good at reading people and then let's
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put some effort into actually paying attention to what's happening as it's happening right and you don't
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want to become some paranoid i don't trust people yeah you know what i mean like that's a hard
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because like dude that's i went through that phase a little bit yeah i would say i live there
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yeah you know i'm saying i don't trust i don't trust my cautiously optimistic yeah i don't trust
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it takes people years to earn my trust they think they earn it in a couple months or a year or two or
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this or that it takes it it takes a long time yeah um and that helps protect you from just being
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disappointed yeah so uh sucks to hear but you know welcome to fucking reality i love it all right
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andy our third and final question for you um changing gears a little bit and you've talked
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about your battle your personal battle with depression many times right it's not something
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you're like closeted about right but as someone who doesn't battle with depression what's the best
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way to help and support somebody that they know that does what would you what would you tell them
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you know i i would i would understand a couple things you know people think that like dealing
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with people who are depressed like you could cheer them up out of it or something like it's it's not
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like that okay so like if you're dealing with someone who's depressed and obviously i'm not a
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psychologist or a psychiatrist i'm giving my personal opinion feedback i know for me when i'm in one of
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the when i'm there you need to leave me the fuck alone yeah you know i'm saying and i know that
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can be scary for people who who are um you know they got somebody they love and they got somebody
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they care about and they're scared like they might do something drastic or whatever um but for me uh
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i'd like to solve things in my own head on my own now not everybody's like that and that's why i can't
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give a universal answer to this so i think you got to take into consideration you know how do they
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respond to certain things what are they sensitive about because like dude there's a big stigma about
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depression that it's like this weakness right it's not a weakness bro it's like it's like a
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fucking virus it's like a sickness i almost follow the strain yeah like you have something going on
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inside your body that isn't normal right now i will say depression is fucking way over diagnosed
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yeah it way like there's lots of people out there they have a bad day and then they call themselves
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depressed or they had a bad week and they call themselves depressed and they had their you know
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and i'm not here to say who's depressed and who's not i'm not trying to set up boundaries and
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shit but you know the world does perpetuate victim mentality which leads to people thinking they're
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depressed that's a reality of what we the world we live in so we have to be very careful about
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identifying if we're really depressed or if we're just going through a shitty time or if the world's
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just fucked up right right and right now that the world is fucked up and right now things are more
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difficult and right now i'm sure a lot of normal people feel depressed but but there but it's not real
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depression when it's actual reality you're just dealing with shit right and there's a big difference
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so i think it's important to seek the advice of someone who as a professional now a lot of these
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professionals bro and i gotta be honest here you know they make their living off perpetuating the
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victim mentality right so you'll come in you got to find someone who really gets it because the
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truth is if you get in with someone who's the wrong kind of person yeah they can milk you along
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make you think that you're a fucking victim and that your life sucks and you're and they can do
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that and it pads their pockets because you got to go talk to them take these pills yeah bro so like
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we got to be realistic like they're a lot of people are driven by greed they're driven by different
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reasons we don't know what those reasons are so i'm a big fan of like really digging in deep
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internally to figure out what the fuck is going on um finding a trusted psychiatrist or a psychologist
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that you could talk to who doesn't want people to be victims forever right they're actually trying
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to help people right um 75 hard does a lot for fucking people's mental health all right i'm just
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going to say that like a lot of people are like motherfucker that i'm off my depression meds completely
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off okay first time in fucking i don't even know how long 20 20 fucking years all right and i think
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it's because of the last two years that i've been working on myself in that way right and i don't
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think you could cure that in 75 days that's not what i'm saying but what i am saying is by learning
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that we can actually put work into different areas of our brain just like we would our body and then we
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start to develop strengths around skill sets like discipline um because like dude a lot of depression
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comes from people just not feeling like they're in control of shit yeah right and most people don't have
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control of anything including the the beer or the fucking food or the this right like most people
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you stick a fucking beer or a pizza or something they like to eat in front of them they can't help
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it and like dude watch at a party bro watch how many people walk by and they'll pick one bite of
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something and then they walk by and get a second one you know then they want and then finally they
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get a plate that's you're observing someone negotiating with themselves in real time like if you ever see
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someone do that it's not because i've done it yeah i know me too like when i i'll go by i pick one i
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pick one bite of a meatball yep right i cut one in half i'll leave the other one in there that's how
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we do it at my house yeah right motherfucker then it'll be the other half right then it's three you
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know standing at the tray yeah standing at the tray though right then it's a plate full of them because
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i finally gave in yeah all right and if you see that's what's going on right like i'm justifying it
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justifying a little more finally i'm like fuck it
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and and so dude when you gain control of your ability to stop that in real life um and you can
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apply that same mentality to almost anything right whether it be your workout program or shit that you
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have to do for business or family shit or whatever when you don't have that ability it's natural to
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feel like you're fucking completely out of control which contributes to the idea of i'm depressed i don't
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know what's going on i don't have a purpose i don't have this i don't have any like i'm a piece of
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shit and it's very important to not think that you're a piece of shit when it comes to having a good
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experience in this life so how do we think how do we earn the right to not think we're a piece of
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shit we do it by keeping fucking strict non-compromising standards for ourselves at all times
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okay and i know that sounds foreign to people like i was the guy who couldn't make it six days without
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cheating on the diet right for years and years and years and years and years i was that guy and now i'm
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the guy who i could fucking never have a cheat day again just to prove a fucking point right yeah like
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that's i'm in control if i want to cheat i fucking cheat if i don't i fucking won't and it has nothing
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to do with who's watching has nothing to do with how i'm feeling there's nothing to do with any of
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these external circumstances it has to do with decisions that i make and so if we can cultivate
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mental uh discipline which also lends itself to things like fortitude grit uh you know endurance um
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you know self-esteem self-confidence all these things when we earn these things by keeping the
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promises that we make to ourselves doing things that other people cannot or choose not to do
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we start to respect ourselves at a higher level when we respect ourselves at a higher level it's
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really hard to be depressed yeah okay so i'm starting january 1st just so everybody knows like
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my official 2022 75 hearts starts on the 1st so if you're going to go out and get fucked up and
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you want to start cool i'd recommend not doing that but i'm starting then that's what i'm doing
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i'll be doing it with you uh but the point is is like i you know and by the way that's not medical
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advice go fucking talk to whoever you gotta talk to yeah but that's just my personal my personal
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fucking take on it and experience that's fucking awesome man that's fucking awesome well that's three
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is that three already that's three go pay the fee shit all right all right guys um that's three
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the fee the fee very simple if you learn something if it changed your perspective if you think it made
00:19:16.900
you better if it helped you overcome some sort of limiting belief that benefited you in any way
00:19:21.860
please share the show okay we don't advertise this show we don't advertise on the show uh all i ask is
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that if we do a good job uh do us a salad you know bring it up in conversation have conversation you know
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when when you're sitting around people are talking about all the crazy shit that's going on in the world
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let them know uh you know your your buddy andy's out here in battle for you or with you or whatever you
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want to say but anyway send some motherfuckers over here because we're trying to do something good
00:19:44.920
yeah all right trying to help people and uh i really think the messages at this point in time are much
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went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions in the
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cold bad bitch booted swore got her on bank road can't fold just a no head shot case closed