REAL AF with Andy Frisella - December 31, 2021


206. Q&AF： Overcoming Overthinking, Detecting Lies & Understanding Depression

Hosted by
Andy Frisella
Mentioned
Andy Priscilla Joe Biden
205. Andy & DJ CTI： Flu Making A Comeback, Black People Rejecting Transgender Claims & Higher Pay For Non-White Teachers 207. nEw YeAr nEw mE

Episode Stats


Length

20 minutes

Words per minute

206.88

Word count

4,206

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

5

sentences flagged

Toxicity

133

sentences flagged

Hate speech

62

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of the Real AF feed, we discuss the overthinking mentality and how to overcome it. In this episode, we talk about the power list and how it can help you overcome overthinking and become a better human being.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to the lies 0.97
00:00:21.500 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we 0.85
00:00:26.260 have qnaf this is where uh dj what's up dj what's going on man is going to ask me questions that 0.89
00:00:33.840 you submit where do they submit them uh you can email your questions to ask andy at andy for
00:00:38.660 sela.com where you submit at ask andy at andy for sela.com and we answer them we do three that's
00:00:47.400 the show that's it all right yeah people are loving these shows these q a shows good man now
00:00:51.820 if you want more entrepreneur content if you want more life content if you want more how to 0.87
00:00:57.820 fucking kick ass content uh you could always apply to the rta syndicate as well rta syndicate is a group 0.83
00:01:03.660 that ed my let and i run and founded that focuses entirely on excellence in all areas of life um 0.94
00:01:10.560 but that's neither here nor there i'm just telling you where to get my main content at if you're
00:01:15.920 interested in that so that's what we do anyway uh let's start the show let's get it in man all
00:01:21.100 right so without further ado question number one andy so i consider myself a huge overthinker okay
00:01:26.980 i tend to over complicate things a lot it has saved me a few times but i know in my gut that
00:01:32.260 it's holding me back what are your thoughts on how to overcome this overthinking mentality
00:01:37.060 uh look dude i think it's normal especially when you want when you're somebody who wants to win
00:01:44.240 to analyze every single step of every single thing that you're trying to do
00:01:49.040 um because we care right like we want to win and we want to win real bad and so we think of our
00:01:56.280 you know we have this tendency to like overthink things right we think about like
00:02:00.520 how is you know things all the way down from like how's the conversation going to go today right like
00:02:05.760 how am i going to have this conversation and i've found that you know i operate on a uh system
00:02:14.700 that i built called the power list all right and you can learn about that uh on episode 16 of the
00:02:19.660 real af feed now power list is the most valuable tool that i've ever developed for personal development
00:02:26.660 myself and keep that in mind i've developed uh 75 hard which is probably the most popular
00:02:32.320 personal development program uh over the last three or four years by a lot too not even close
00:02:37.980 um so i would put win the day mentality uh the power list system ahead of that and the reason
00:02:45.540 that i would put it ahead of that is because it gives you a clear definable list of daily critical
00:02:55.080 tasks that you need to execute on to get to where you want to go all right and the way this affects
00:03:00.840 overthinking is if you can look back all right like let's just say you're having a bad day right 1.00
00:03:06.220 and you're like fuck dude i'm such a like i have these days sometimes like such a piece of shit 1.00
00:03:10.640 dude you know you're not really pulling your weight i've been doing enough yeah you're not doing enough 1.00
00:03:14.280 this and that well when you use the power list you're able to like actually open the fucking book 0.95
00:03:19.280 flip through the pages and actually see what it is that you've been doing okay and the reason this 0.73
00:03:27.180 is important especially when you are executing is it keeps you from overthinking and driving your
00:03:33.160 confidence down artificially all right so it's an important thing for you overthinkers and a lot of
00:03:39.760 people are overthinkers bro i would say most people who are ambitious if you guys listen to this show
00:03:44.440 if you want to make more money if you want to win overthinking is probably part of your
00:03:48.260 your process yeah um so i would say one that's normal but two um by keeping uh and using you know
00:03:57.380 the powerless system and which is free by the way just go listen to the episode it describes the exact
00:04:01.860 system this is just my use for fucking decades and it works okay um if you keep that you have a 0.95
00:04:10.160 record right so when you start to overthink you look back see it right feel good and or you can 0.96
00:04:15.180 look back to see but yeah you know what validate it yeah i did fuck up the last three days i missed 0.70
00:04:19.400 two of my tasks in the last three days in a row man you know i get any i am on a bad streak i got 0.98
00:04:23.980 a fucking i gotta will my way out of that today and make sure all my shit gets done 0.99
00:04:28.100 right and then you actually correct um yourself on past so overthinking can serve us too but it 0.99
00:04:34.700 does hurt us and i think one of the biggest reasons that it hurts us is because we don't
00:04:40.800 acknowledge the actions that we are actually taking because we don't have a record of them
00:04:46.320 right like most people don't track down their day-by-day tasks yeah and say okay this is what 0.94
00:04:51.340 i did this day and this is not now don't get this confused like a to-do list it's not what the fuck 0.99
00:04:55.840 this is like i know a lot of motherfuckers smart smart motherfuckers out there think you're 1.00
00:04:59.360 smarter than me yeah and you know i'm talking about a get shit done to-do list yeah if you go 0.99
00:05:03.520 listen to the fucking podcast you'll realize it's a whole different thing just like when 75 hard is 1.00
00:05:08.480 not a fucking diet right okay so get your fucking head out of your ass and get over your own ego and 1.00
00:05:13.740 go fucking listen to the podcast yeah because it's the most effective tool you ever fucking use in 1.00
00:05:17.760 your entire fucking life period i don't care who you are i don't give a fuck if you're elon musk 1.00
00:05:23.220 i don't care this shit works for everybody i don't care if you if you're living in your 1.00
00:05:28.700 fucking brother's fucking basement on his couch right now fucking hating life this will work for 1.00
00:05:33.520 you you just have to execute so uh one that's a way to keep overthinking in check and two recognize 1.00
00:05:41.440 it's normal and three recognize that overthinking can actually serve you when it's valid yeah that's 0.93
00:05:48.180 fucking perfect all right question number two andy andy i've recently been having to deal with a lot 0.83
00:05:55.160 of people lying to me okay but i've had no idea that they were lying to me is there a stone cold 0.98
00:06:01.700 method for telling if somebody is full of shit uh well if there is i haven't found one but i found 0.99
00:06:08.340 what i have found is that the more bullshit that you're uh exposed to the easier it is and the 0.99
00:06:15.620 quicker it is to identify it you know um when i was i don't know how old this person is but when i 0.98
00:06:21.200 was in my early 20s you know i fucking i like the biggest problem people run into here is that they 0.98
00:06:26.760 they they think that their nature is the same as everybody else's nature okay and not everybody 0.99
00:06:32.140 has the same good moral intention nature that you have this is why liberals fucking vote for 0.97
00:06:37.880 democrats this is exactly why we're here you know these democrat people that vote for joe biden 0.99
00:06:41.780 they're not bad people they fucking they just think those people think like them and they don't 0.97
00:06:47.060 those people are actually willing to use the voters the regular people's wants dreams and wishes 0.99
00:06:53.840 against them okay for their own power and that's part because the people who vote for them oh no 0.99
00:06:59.980 there's no way not there's no way so i know there's motherfuckers like that yeah okay a lot of 0.99
00:07:04.380 them you have to realize so part of this is being a realist like you have to acknowledge that there are 0.99
00:07:10.240 bad people out there and you have to acknowledge that some people have gotten really fucking good 0.93
00:07:15.800 at being bad people yeah okay so how do you identify that well the way i identify it now in 0.99
00:07:23.160 my life is i can tell them by three fucking seconds like you know i have motherfuckers every day that 1.00
00:07:28.720 come up to me and they think they're like pulling some fucking slick shit on me and you know they come 1.00
00:07:34.260 up and they start telling me how you know i'm like you know like i don't know that you're fucking what 0.99
00:07:39.840 you're doing bro right like you're not like what andy what do you think about this well here's what 0.99
00:07:44.240 i thought you know this and this is like this little manipulative shit like bro if you ever come 0.99
00:07:48.640 to me and you think you're pulling one on me trust me i fucking know and you're just digging yourself 0.99
00:07:54.300 a fucking grave yeah okay so when you speak to me understand that i already know yeah okay but that's 0.98
00:08:00.520 what happens after years and years and years of working to identify what we're talking about here 0.99
00:08:05.400 right all right so most people are just inexperienced and once you become a realist and
00:08:09.880 once you recognize that there's a lot of people out there just aren't as good as you would like
00:08:14.080 them to be or as good as you know they could be um it becomes easier to identify because the truth is
00:08:19.700 we can always see these people in the rearview mirror right like like when you've been done wrong 0.97
00:08:24.780 in there most of the time can't you go back and like dissect like fuck dude there was this there was 0.98
00:08:28.800 that there was this or this and most of it comes from us ignoring those signs because we want to 0.97
00:08:34.900 believe in someone or we want or you know like for example like in a relationship a lot of people are
00:08:40.540 in love with the potential of the relationship not the actual relationship right so they build up this
00:08:45.900 whole thing and then the person starts showing them that they're not actually that person and they
00:08:50.420 never they will never acknowledge or believe it because they've already identified them as something
00:08:54.220 else attached to them yeah and this happens all the time so you know one uh address the facts of 0.98
00:09:01.320 the situation there are bad people out there period two bad people have gotten really good at fucking 0.98
00:09:05.740 acting like they're not bad people okay three um understand that this is a lifelong learning lesson 0.99
00:09:12.780 and you're going to continue to run into people because there's enough of them that are shitbags
00:09:17.580 all right four actively work to to surround yourself with people that aren't like that that's
00:09:23.420 something i didn't hit on yet one of the biggest things that i've done is i have truly eliminated
00:09:28.100 every single person from my life that doesn't contribute to it in some way i'm not talking 0.97
00:09:33.180 about someone who fucking roots for me i'm not talking about sending me a fucking thank you text 0.99
00:09:37.260 i'm talking about do you go to battle with me every motherfucking day or do you not not and if you 0.99
00:09:42.020 don't you ain't on my list of people to talk to that day that's it so i insulate myself by 0.99
00:09:46.920 surrounding myself with people that i fucking trust and guess what sometimes those people that you 0.99
00:09:51.660 trust are going to fuck you yeah you know so and then you have a decision to make did it was that 0.99
00:09:55.620 a one-time thing or was that who they are as a person so you have to go back and track their 1.00
00:10:00.440 history and see what it's about what's that track pay attention yeah but i'm telling you the easiest
00:10:03.940 way to pay attention is to pay attention as it's happening you know like i've gotten real good at 0.99
00:10:07.960 smiling and nodding while people sit there and fucking tell me all this shit that i know is wrong 0.96
00:10:12.000 right you know i'm saying right like would you i got i got a couple couple people in mind right now 1.00
00:10:17.520 yeah i can constantly try to bullshit me every fucking time i see them and they think i'm fucking 0.99
00:10:22.020 too dumb to understand you're too dumb bro yeah just remind you of that you'll learn would you would 1.00
00:10:27.760 you also say to that like networking is a huge part of that because like you've been it is 20 years 1.00
00:10:33.000 you know people that know those answers yes but it's not that's not solving a networking group 0.90
00:10:37.140 you know a lot of people think you just go to a fucking group and it's bro network groups for the
00:10:42.740 most part is anybody can join yeah you know what i'm saying oh those people vetted yeah right so like 0.97
00:10:48.600 how you have to get in where you fit in with the people that you identify uh their values and their
00:10:55.000 ethics and their morals and shit because there's people that fall all along those spectrums yeah you 0.98
00:11:00.160 know i'm saying so you know a lot of it is just fucking you know all right i was 0.99
00:11:07.060 i'm being a bad you have to acknowledge like this person's been a bad picker of relationships 0.99
00:11:10.560 right whether it be friend if you got a lot of people lying to you you're gullible you know i'm 1.00
00:11:15.180 saying if everybody in the world's lying to you it's because you're too stupid to believe it and i 1.00
00:11:19.300 know that hurts to hear whoever asked this question they're probably like fuck but it is the truth 1.00
00:11:23.040 so let's acknowledge that that's the truth okay you're not very good at reading people and then let's 0.97
00:11:28.140 put some effort into actually paying attention to what's happening as it's happening right and you don't
00:11:33.120 want to become some paranoid i don't trust people yeah you know what i mean like that's a hard
00:11:36.800 because like dude that's i went through that phase a little bit yeah i would say i live there
00:11:40.960 yeah you know i'm saying i don't trust i don't trust my cautiously optimistic yeah i don't trust
00:11:44.660 it takes people years to earn my trust they think they earn it in a couple months or a year or two or
00:11:48.680 this or that it takes it it takes a long time yeah um and that helps protect you from just being 0.96
00:11:55.560 disappointed yeah so uh sucks to hear but you know welcome to fucking reality i love it all right 0.84
00:12:04.960 andy our third and final question for you um changing gears a little bit and you've talked 0.96
00:12:11.560 about your battle your personal battle with depression many times right it's not something
00:12:16.840 you're like closeted about right but as someone who doesn't battle with depression what's the best
00:12:22.800 way to help and support somebody that they know that does what would you what would you tell them
00:12:27.760 you know i i would i would understand a couple things you know people think that like dealing
00:12:33.900 with people who are depressed like you could cheer them up out of it or something like it's it's not
00:12:38.040 like that okay so like if you're dealing with someone who's depressed and obviously i'm not a
00:12:42.900 psychologist or a psychiatrist i'm giving my personal opinion feedback i know for me when i'm in one of 0.65
00:12:49.920 the when i'm there you need to leave me the fuck alone yeah you know i'm saying and i know that 0.97
00:12:53.660 can be scary for people who who are um you know they got somebody they love and they got somebody 0.98
00:13:00.260 they care about and they're scared like they might do something drastic or whatever um but for me uh
00:13:07.440 i'd like to solve things in my own head on my own now not everybody's like that and that's why i can't
00:13:11.840 give a universal answer to this so i think you got to take into consideration you know how do they
00:13:16.920 respond to certain things what are they sensitive about because like dude there's a big stigma about
00:13:21.340 depression that it's like this weakness right it's not a weakness bro it's like it's like a 0.96
00:13:26.240 fucking virus it's like a sickness i almost follow the strain yeah like you have something going on 0.99
00:13:31.080 inside your body that isn't normal right now i will say depression is fucking way over diagnosed 1.00
00:13:37.520 yeah it way like there's lots of people out there they have a bad day and then they call themselves 0.97
00:13:42.860 depressed or they had a bad week and they call themselves depressed and they had their you know
00:13:46.440 and i'm not here to say who's depressed and who's not i'm not trying to set up boundaries and 0.90
00:13:50.580 shit but you know the world does perpetuate victim mentality which leads to people thinking they're 0.89
00:13:56.420 depressed that's a reality of what we the world we live in so we have to be very careful about 0.99
00:14:01.260 identifying if we're really depressed or if we're just going through a shitty time or if the world's 0.70
00:14:06.200 just fucked up right right and right now that the world is fucked up and right now things are more 0.95
00:14:12.060 difficult and right now i'm sure a lot of normal people feel depressed but but there but it's not real 0.99
00:14:18.000 depression when it's actual reality you're just dealing with shit right and there's a big difference
00:14:23.160 so i think it's important to seek the advice of someone who as a professional now a lot of these 0.84
00:14:28.240 professionals bro and i gotta be honest here you know they make their living off perpetuating the
00:14:33.220 victim mentality right so you'll come in you got to find someone who really gets it because the
00:14:38.480 truth is if you get in with someone who's the wrong kind of person yeah they can milk you along 0.99
00:14:42.960 make you think that you're a fucking victim and that your life sucks and you're and they can do 0.98
00:14:47.340 that and it pads their pockets because you got to go talk to them take these pills yeah bro so like 0.99
00:14:51.600 we got to be realistic like they're a lot of people are driven by greed they're driven by different
00:14:56.460 reasons we don't know what those reasons are so i'm a big fan of like really digging in deep
00:15:00.960 internally to figure out what the fuck is going on um finding a trusted psychiatrist or a psychologist
00:15:07.640 that you could talk to who doesn't want people to be victims forever right they're actually trying 0.98
00:15:13.280 to help people right um 75 hard does a lot for fucking people's mental health all right i'm just 0.99
00:15:19.060 going to say that like a lot of people are like motherfucker that i'm off my depression meds completely 0.99
00:15:24.400 off okay first time in fucking i don't even know how long 20 20 fucking years all right and i think 0.99
00:15:30.760 it's because of the last two years that i've been working on myself in that way right and i don't 0.98
00:15:37.320 think you could cure that in 75 days that's not what i'm saying but what i am saying is by learning
00:15:41.660 that we can actually put work into different areas of our brain just like we would our body and then we
00:15:47.800 start to develop strengths around skill sets like discipline um because like dude a lot of depression 0.73
00:15:53.060 comes from people just not feeling like they're in control of shit yeah right and most people don't have 0.96
00:15:57.680 control of anything including the the beer or the fucking food or the this right like most people 0.99
00:16:04.980 you stick a fucking beer or a pizza or something they like to eat in front of them they can't help 0.99
00:16:10.040 it and like dude watch at a party bro watch how many people walk by and they'll pick one bite of 1.00
00:16:14.880 something and then they walk by and get a second one you know then they want and then finally they
00:16:18.340 get a plate that's you're observing someone negotiating with themselves in real time like if you ever see
00:16:23.540 someone do that it's not because i've done it yeah i know me too like when i i'll go by i pick one i
00:16:30.000 pick one bite of a meatball yep right i cut one in half i'll leave the other one in there that's how 0.99
00:16:34.100 we do it at my house yeah right motherfucker then it'll be the other half right then it's three you 0.99
00:16:40.280 know standing at the tray yeah standing at the tray though right then it's a plate full of them because 0.98
00:16:45.500 i finally gave in yeah all right and if you see that's what's going on right like i'm justifying it 0.98
00:16:50.460 justifying a little more finally i'm like fuck it 0.96
00:16:53.540 and and so dude when you gain control of your ability to stop that in real life um and you can 0.99
00:16:59.640 apply that same mentality to almost anything right whether it be your workout program or shit that you
00:17:04.320 have to do for business or family shit or whatever when you don't have that ability it's natural to 0.97
00:17:09.600 feel like you're fucking completely out of control which contributes to the idea of i'm depressed i don't 0.98
00:17:14.200 know what's going on i don't have a purpose i don't have this i don't have any like i'm a piece of 1.00
00:17:18.180 shit and it's very important to not think that you're a piece of shit when it comes to having a good 0.99
00:17:22.760 experience in this life so how do we think how do we earn the right to not think we're a piece of 1.00
00:17:27.480 shit we do it by keeping fucking strict non-compromising standards for ourselves at all times 0.98
00:17:35.320 okay and i know that sounds foreign to people like i was the guy who couldn't make it six days without 0.99
00:17:41.760 cheating on the diet right for years and years and years and years and years i was that guy and now i'm 0.82
00:17:47.620 the guy who i could fucking never have a cheat day again just to prove a fucking point right yeah like 0.98
00:17:53.100 that's i'm in control if i want to cheat i fucking cheat if i don't i fucking won't and it has nothing 0.99
00:17:58.640 to do with who's watching has nothing to do with how i'm feeling there's nothing to do with any of 0.97
00:18:04.360 these external circumstances it has to do with decisions that i make and so if we can cultivate
00:18:08.820 mental uh discipline which also lends itself to things like fortitude grit uh you know endurance um
00:18:17.040 you know self-esteem self-confidence all these things when we earn these things by keeping the
00:18:23.320 promises that we make to ourselves doing things that other people cannot or choose not to do
00:18:29.200 we start to respect ourselves at a higher level when we respect ourselves at a higher level it's
00:18:34.340 really hard to be depressed yeah okay so i'm starting january 1st just so everybody knows like 0.97
00:18:40.880 my official 2022 75 hearts starts on the 1st so if you're going to go out and get fucked up and 0.97
00:18:46.140 you want to start cool i'd recommend not doing that but i'm starting then that's what i'm doing
00:18:51.840 i'll be doing it with you uh but the point is is like i you know and by the way that's not medical
00:18:57.200 advice go fucking talk to whoever you gotta talk to yeah but that's just my personal my personal 0.96
00:19:02.520 fucking take on it and experience that's fucking awesome man that's fucking awesome well that's three 0.99
00:19:07.220 is that three already that's three go pay the fee shit all right all right guys um that's three 0.99
00:19:12.360 the fee the fee very simple if you learn something if it changed your perspective if you think it made 0.94
00:19:16.900 you better if it helped you overcome some sort of limiting belief that benefited you in any way
00:19:21.860 please share the show okay we don't advertise this show we don't advertise on the show uh all i ask is
00:19:27.260 that if we do a good job uh do us a salad you know bring it up in conversation have conversation you know
00:19:32.660 when when you're sitting around people are talking about all the crazy shit that's going on in the world 0.81
00:19:36.000 let them know uh you know your your buddy andy's out here in battle for you or with you or whatever you 0.99
00:19:41.160 want to say but anyway send some motherfuckers over here because we're trying to do something good 1.00
00:19:44.920 yeah all right trying to help people and uh i really think the messages at this point in time are much 0.97
00:19:52.340 needed so um share your show 0.99
00:19:56.760 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions in the 1.00
00:20:04.840 cold bad bitch booted swore got her on bank road can't fold just a no head shot case closed 1.00
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