269. Q&AF： Successful Comparisons, Installing Core Values & Being Silenced
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Summary
In this episode of The Realists, DJ Akon and Andy answer the question, "How do I deal with personal happiness and fulfillment when I'm in my 20s and I see all these celebrities and ultra successful people in their 20s but they're all in their late 20s? How do I handle that well?"
Transcript
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what is up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies
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the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today
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we have q and af this is where you answer the q's and i give the afs wait this is where you ask the
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okay all right you know what the fucking show's about what's up dj what's going on man what's
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going on yeah we got some good ones where do we where do we submit the questions all right guys
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as always email your questions in to ask andy to andy forsella.com okay this is our main personal
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development platform right now the q and af so this is your chance to sort of get some mf ceo style
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answers if you don't know what mf ceo is i can't even explain it to you because it's so fucking
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special you'd make a tear right in my eye um i like i like q and a's man they're awesome yeah they're
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cool uh they're really cool when they're q and afs though yeah that's true yeah all right so the fee
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for the show the show is uh not free all right now it's free from a monetary standpoint but what i do
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ask is that if we make you laugh we make you think if we give you some info if we teach you some
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shit um that you show the show for us all right very simple we work on the honor system and i know
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nobody has more honor than my listeners all right so what's what we got let's dive into it brother
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we got some good ones for you andy question number one i'm 18 years old okay how do i deal with
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personal happiness and fulfillment and not feeling depressed or worthless when i see all of these
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celebrities and ultra successful um people and they're extremely well known but they're all in
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their 20s you know people like logan paul or dan bills uh bilzerian to name a few i feel like we can't
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all be this celebrity superstar that lives these crazy lifestyles so how do i handle that well first of
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listen um dan bilzerian's 40 years old all right it's true uh you know the paul brothers you know
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a lot of people look at those guys and they say oh they're young and they're successful and they're
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killing it which are all true but they've been at it since they were 10 12 years old right okay
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right so these guys are smart guys they understand social they're great marketers they're great
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businessmen they're smart guys and they put in their time and that's really the answer to the
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question the answer to the question is how much time have you put in how many years have you put
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in because i know jake paul personally i know i'm pretty good he's put at least a dozen years into
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his craft to become what he is okay and most of it's documented on youtube so i wouldn't let it
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first of all i wouldn't a lot of people will say oh that's just all bullshit it's not all bullshit
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there's a lot of people that live really well okay but what you'll find behind every single one of
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those people is a long journey of how they got there all right um especially these younger guys
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now are there situations where you know somebody comes up in the rap scene or in the in the social
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media scene or makes a splash at a very young age uh and makes a whole bunch of money and becomes
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famous absolutely dude there's all kinds of those situations but what you have to realize is that ain't
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you it ain't ever gonna be you it ain't it's not your current situation now if you want to dedicate
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the next five ten years to be coming that way cool too and the results will be there all right they will
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but those things are not that's not happiness and fulfillment bro at all you know those things are
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cool like um like having my garage i have a world-class garage dude like i not just the garage but like
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what's in the garage all right i walk through it every day and every day i walk through it
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it gets less and less impressive just like when you get your new jordans and they're cool as fuck
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and a week later they're cool but they're not as cool as the day you got them right and then a month
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later it's just a pair of shoes success is the same thing so what you have to do is you have to
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understand that fulfillment happiness are not related to the material life that you live
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they're related to what you do internally and what you do day by day by day by day okay and
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part of being fulfilled and happy has to do with how controlled you are in your life and the reason
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most people have no fulfillment and no happiness in their life isn't because they lack material things
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it's because they lack the discipline to be in control of their life all right which means if you
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don't have the discipline and you can't control what direction you are because you can't adhere to
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any system possible meaning if you follow a diet it doesn't matter what diet but if certain
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certain parts of the diet like calorie restriction or drinking water and working out you are eventually
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going to lose weight it's a mathematical equation so you but you have to learn to adhere to that first
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right which that's where the discipline comes in um and when you live an undisciplined life
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it leads to confusion it leads to hopelessness it leads to uh thinking that your life that you are
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a victim of circumstance all because you never worked to develop the skill of discipline all right
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so when you become a disciplined person and you understand that you control your food your water
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what you put in your brain and all these things then it becomes clear that you're actually in control of
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a lot more things right and once you realize that which dude this is a very important point
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ninety nine point nine percent of the people who have walked on the face of this fucking earth
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never ever ever learned this lesson their whole lives they never learned it they never learned how
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to cultivate discipline they never learned how to exercise discipline they never learned that they're
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actually in control of their life instead they went through their entire life as you know the plastic
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bag floating through the air like just where the wind took them yeah and then they end their life
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saying fuck i i didn't do anything because they did it right and what you have to understand at a young
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age is that the more discipline that you become the more fulfillment you'll create and the happier
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you'll be yeah and it has nothing to do with material things until it does right right that's just a
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portion of your life like a big portion of my life was building that car collection and building that
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garage and building this and that and this and it was cool as fuck it was definitely worth doing i love it
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and it inspires a whole lot of people and it's not that it's boring to me i still but it's just like
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it it's like the shoes okay it really is like that right it's cool but it's not everything you
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say that's the same for like the like the like social media influence likes the comments the
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shares yes people get addicted to the validation and they think that's where they get the fulfillment
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or their or their approval from and that makes them feel good for a minute or but but really what
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happens is it ends up making feel really bad right and that's why they feel so empty because at the end of
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the day you're just a dancing bear like you do the tricks and the likes come right right this is one
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of the reasons i stopped posting on social bro i don't fuck with social media anymore personally
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because like dude it becomes a very slippery slope that even intelligent aware people can fall into
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and i don't i don't derive my value from your no offense to you guys listening but i could really
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give a fuck less if you like me or not i right it's true and you know that's true okay but that's what
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makes me me and where i get my happiness and fulfillment from is me exercising on my own
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personal skills of discipline and then using the discipline in my life to control the direction i
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need to go okay um when you combine that with a with a with the idea of gratitude all right now you're in
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a scenario where it's almost impossible to be unfulfilled or unhappy because when you're disciplined and
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you're in control and you're also grateful for everything that you fucking have it is literally
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impossible to feel bad it's impossible yeah because you're directing the ship and you know this
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right right and then also you're grateful for the opportunities to be able to direct the ship
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like once you truly cultivate the idea of discipline as a skill for you and it really
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sinks in this is why i talk about 75 hearts so much um once you truly realize that you become free
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dude you become completely free it's no longer the world controls me or this controls me or that
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controls me it's you imposing your will on the world and you the coolest thing about life is realizing
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holy shit i have the power to actually take myself anywhere i want to go right so you know most people
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go their whole lives without ever realizing that and this person is 18 years old whoever you are
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listening you have the opportunity right now to develop that skill set which your parents probably
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don't have the people you're friends with probably don't have and fucking probably some of the people
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you look up to don't have and if you develop it now i can promise you in 10 years bro you'll have
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everything you want and you'll still realize that that's not what makes you happy what makes you happy
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is the ability to get whatever you want it's fucking real man that's real andy question number two for
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you does that make sense no it makes perfect sense too yeah i mean another thing too on that like
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now i'm like as i meet more of your friends right the the you know your circle and your people that
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are very very successful you learn to realize that there's a lot of sacrifices that are made
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yeah that people don't see they never see it you know i'm saying like yeah you see the shit on
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instagram right you see the yacht party or the fucking cars or you know this or that or this
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that's like one percent of your life like less than one percent that is like one snapshot out of one day
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and one second and bro the fucking yacht they're on could have sank the next minute you don't even
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fucking know exactly so like you have to be really aware of how you attach your value to other people
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and i think a lot i think it's worth noting a lot of people talk about comparison being the thief of joy
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right that's a famous quote um and it is right like when you're doing really good and you compare
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yourself to somebody who's much bigger than you you're not going to feel as good about what you did
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right but it's also important to realize that you really aren't doing that much and that you have
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a lot more to do so you have to walk that line balance yes of understanding truly where you are
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and appreciating what you have but also understanding that we have a long way to go
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and those two things can live uh in perfect harmony regardless of what anybody else may tell you
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people will tell you it's you just be happy with what you are other people will tell you
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you ain't shit you got to do all this shit right i'm one of them okay um but the truth is it's both
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okay you guys listen to this show you're all you you guys are already in the top one percent of
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fucking humans on the planet like you have a phone you have a computer you probably have a place to
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sleep you probably got some food you're not starving like bro compared to the rest of the world
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that's wealthy right okay so you're already in a good spot be thankful for that and then
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let's make a target develop the skills to get to that target and move towards that target and you
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you will develop happiness and fulfillment along the way i love it man i love it andy question number
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two when did you and chris uh implement your core value system uh in s2 was it was it from day one
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no can you talk a little bit about that yeah so uh the first 10 years in business uh i had never
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really understood what core values were um it was 10 years yeah our 2011 was when we put them in so
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just understand that like a lot of people think oh dude i didn't put them in and it's been four years
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how the fuck do i do it right you just got to do it bro um we we uh
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uh we decided like you know we started realizing that we needed direct shoot and uh we had a party
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and we invited everybody who are this is how we put them in okay we invited all the employees and
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their their significant others uh we were just kids dude you know i'm saying like in business i was 30
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years old 29 years old um what was i mean i was 31 i had a little bit figured out yeah yeah i was i had
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made a little bit of money um just a very little bit i invested a lot of money over the years back
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in the company and we were doing some business and i'm like okay well now we got to get real about
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building a team so i started looking into how to do this shit and like for me uh core values were
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always like a sign in the locker room at your football wherever you play football right or sports
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like like notre dame has that sign play like a champion today yeah and all the dudes tap it when they
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go out on the field right and like it doesn't really mean shit but they just you just see it in
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your like in your high school right yeah now it might mean something in our day and probably does
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probably why they've been great for so many years but in most schools and at my high school they had
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a bunch of shit on the walls that meant nothing and the reason it meant nothing was because none of
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the coaches communicated in that language none of the coaches stressed those things they were just
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signs they were just words it didn't mean shit all right and what i realized was for us to have
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a direction moving forward we had to come up with a set of values that were going to guide the
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business because i won't always be there you know to guide the decision making process um
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you know because like like right now here we are uh a couple you know a decade later we've got
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hundreds and hundreds of people how am i going to direct the decision making of hundreds and hundreds
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of people if i can't talk to hundreds of hundreds of people what am i gonna do get on a loudspeaker
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right or follow them around all day right like i so i started coming to this realization that if we
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were ever going to build a real company they had to have a direction of what we stood for um and one
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of the companies that inspired me to do this was a company uh called tap out and that was a apparel
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company back in the day about the company um and i i i was very inspired by how they did things
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and um i started looking into the idea of intentionally building a culture i came across a bunch of different
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companies that had done that and basically i i created a set of values we had a dinner i invited
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everybody it was called our core values and leadership dinner which we now is our core values
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and leadership banquet right uh where it's like you guys see me up there in a tux and there's it's like
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the it's like the fucking hollywood award show right yeah um it's really badass now without will smith
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yeah yeah will smith gets ass knocked out you come up there and talk to me like that i'm just saying
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fucking ollie ain't got shit on me yeah no shit right so fucking uh the point is like you know
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now it's turned into this amazing thing and people like even last night awesome event yeah yeah even
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last night i was posting pictures of our company meeting and people were like dude how do you like
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how yeah right well that's how okay you have to develop a set of values that you live and breathe
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hire and fire and operate and make decisions based upon all right and you have to
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communicate in those values and that is the quickest way that i can explain how how to install culture
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um and i didn't say create culture i didn't say fucking maybe get culture i said a very specific
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word intentionally i said install culture okay no matter where your business is no matter what it is
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you do no matter who it is you are no matter what you think your skills are no matter how how
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boisterous or how meek you may be you need a set of core values and you need to communicate
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in those values and you need to make decisions on those values you need to make corrections in those
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values and if you're planning on building a real company otherwise it will always be a small business
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it will be a mom and pop regular place where you're having to deal with all these individuals
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individual personalities um who you know may have a core set of beliefs uh you know suzy over here
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might have her own set of beliefs right and uh don over here might have his own set of beliefs and
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they're clashing in the office right and that creates friction to getting to the goal and there
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you are micromanaging this is no different than right this dude building a company is no different
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than a fucking team it's a sports team it's the same fucking shit it's exactly the same that's why
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so many great sports people come out and become great business owners because they understand this
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simple concept of installing a culture so without getting into how to do that uh because it would
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take me like 10 hours uh if you want to know more about that you should join rt syndicate or apply to
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join because that's how we we we start with that and then we move beyond that so we actually design
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help you design your own system inside um but you know for the biggest thing that that i hear from
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people when it comes to creating core values in a mission statement and moving their company
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forward as a team is they understand to create all that right but then they don't communicate or
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correct in that language and for example maybe they just become words on the wall yes yeah and and
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so like you know there's going to be situations in your company where people do fucked up shit
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and you have to look at your core value list and you say okay well which ones did this person
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violate sometimes it's one sometimes it's fucking all right um and you make decisions accordingly
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based upon that and and that's how you have to run your business it's it's it sounds complicated but
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it's actually pretty simple uh but you have to be diligent about it every single day like you and
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that's another problem that people have a lot of people understand what i'm saying and they understand
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how to do it and i've taught a lot of people how to do it and they just don't do it right like if you
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don't start if you don't teach yourself and do the work yourself to communicate and actually live
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those values the best that you can because here those values are you have to understand your
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employees are going to violate those values over and over and over and over again yeah the idea is
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that those values are there to guide you and when you make mistakes we correct to get back on course
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with those values does that make sense no it makes perfect right so so like it's not a
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it's not so rigid like oh this person violated this so they're fired right it's it's a more of a
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learning situation right a learning moment where it's like okay what what do you think what'd you
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do okay you did this and this and this what core values did that violate and then you tell me right oh
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well i didn't take initiative i didn't take responsibility i could have went the extra mile but i
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fucking got lazy right okay right and then you make them tell you which ones they violate you have a
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conversation about it say okay now next time what are you going to do and you know most people and
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that's the other thing most people want to win most people want to be better most people want to
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contribute um but they're afraid to because they're afraid if they make a mistake you're going to just
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fucking get rid of them that's it and that's a poor business decision in itself because if you just
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get rid of people when they fuck up they you're going to deal with the same fuck up over and over and
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over again because the people that you're bringing in haven't learned that lesson and i see a lot of
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ceos that are heavy-handed with firing that don't they can't get anywhere because of that right so
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there's a lot to it uh we get very in depth in this in our taste syndicate if you're interested in
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this kind of stuff this is the big picture kind of stuff that we really help people define in that
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group it's fucking awesome i could do a podcast that would be 10 hours long just so just so no no i
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yeah i get it andy our third and final question for you andy are you worried at all about being
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silenced by the elites in the establishment no not really i mean
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dude they're what the fuck they're gonna do yeah you know i'm saying oh you're gonna take my fucking
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business i've been broke before you're gonna take my fucking this or that i've been alone before
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you're gonna take my fucking property i lived in a shithole before i ain't scared dude they can't
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fuck with me they can fuck with me but it'll never get me to be quiet it just won't because it's not
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who i am i'm authentic to who i am if i see wrong i'm gonna call it out and i don't care if it costs me
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everything it's just who the fuck i am and at some point in your life you'll realize that staying
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true to who the fuck you are is the most valuable thing and the only thing that you'll ever have
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ever ever ever ever because money comes and goes success comes and goes fucking houses come and go
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people people come and go blah blah blah blah blah blah blah knowing that you did the best that you
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could to to make things right matters when you look in the mirror and that's all i give a fuck about
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and so no i'm not afraid um i'm not afraid of any of them and you shouldn't be either because the
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collective fear that they put through the fact that this question is even answered is the exact
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reason why we are and the world is the way it is right now because they have intimidated people so
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much that they are afraid to speak and they started this with political correctness political
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correctness is the actual weapon the reason i say it's a weapon and the reason it is a weapon
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is because what it's designed to do is it's designed to make topics taboo it's designed to make
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things off limits can't tell that joke you can't say that somebody will be offended it'll hurt their
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feelings you can't do this and even and now it's gotten to the point and if you do those things you're
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shamed right right you're you're a bad person or you're one of the is right a misogynist a fucking
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racist of whatever is right whatever the is that they decide to call you um it's it's not even true
00:21:46.440
it's not true they just don't like what you have to say and truth is extremely important it's never i
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don't believe it's ever been more important than it is now in the history of mankind because i believe
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that we are at a turning point in society where we can either go and be totally technologically
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enslaved or we can be completely free and we have an opportunity and i see the opportunity for
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humanity to be free in the first time in history ever and the political correct weapon that they've
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installed into society over the course of the last 25 years has worked it has gotten people to be
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quiet it has gotten patriotic people to feel ashamed for being patriotic like it's not socially
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acceptable motherfucker fly your motherfucking american flag run down your street motherfucker honk your
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horns at you they'll cheer for you they'll love you but they don't want you to know that and
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they want you to be too afraid to actually do that so that they can get what they want and they can
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take what you have and until you understand that and until you get over the fear of being silenced
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and over the fear of being shamed and over the fear of any of this shit they are going to win
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they're going to fucking win if we don't all get over that okay and that's one of the reasons i do this
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show it's one of the reasons i don't hold anything back because i look to be an example for you guys to
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tell what you believe the truth to be all right does it does it does it fucking hurt me sometimes
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no it's actually only helped me it's blown my fucking businesses up all of them people support
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me just because i'm me because i'm i'm able to voice the truth have people tried to fuck with me
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yeah they have there's been some people that try to fuck with me but guess what i'm still here and they
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ain't so you know and i know i realize that a lot of you guys aren't in my position and that also makes
00:23:34.620
me speak up more right because i am in this position and if i don't speak up for the people
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who are afraid to speak up then who the fuck will right so no i'm not afraid they can all fuck off
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and eat shit and that's how i feel about it they're scummy people they they've they've stolen from us for
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for decades and decades and decades they've impoverished our families they've fucking made
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us sick they made us fat they've encouraged us to be lesser humans than we could be made us hate each
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other they made us they've they've divided us they've created false realities in an actual reality
00:24:06.780
okay i hate these people and they hate me too and i'm fine with that i'm fine with being hated
00:24:13.140
and once you become okay with being hated it really ain't a big deal it just isn't oh you don't like me
00:24:20.080
cool i'll go over here like i don't give a fuck or you could go away dude it's sticks and stones
00:24:26.380
break my bones you know what i'm saying so fucking love it yeah they can fucking eat shit and uh i
00:24:33.480
wish you guys would join me in my uh my vocalness um i wish you would i wish you would stand up to
00:24:40.500
people in real life when they try to bully you i wish you would call out the bullshit in real life
00:24:45.560
when people try to impose their bullshit will on you um and if you did i could promise you things
00:24:50.880
would change very quickly and all i'm doing is i'm here waiting for you all to join me so let's go
00:24:57.720
andy guys that is three so go pay the fee yep if you like the show if it made you laugh if it taught
00:25:03.420
you something if it gave you a new perspective please share the show thanks guys
00:25:06.920
went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions in the
00:25:13.680
cold bad bitch booted slow got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed