REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 473. Q&AF： Proactively Looking For Holes In Your Boat, Embracing The Suck & Measuring Success

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.080 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:25.960 have q and af this is where uh you get to submit your questions and i answer them you can submit

00:00:31.560 your questions a couple different ways the best way to submit them is to uh guys email those

00:00:36.260 questions in to ask andy at andy for seller.com and the other best way probably the second best way

00:00:42.640 okay if that was the first best way there has to be a second best way the second best way

00:00:46.100 is to drop them in the comments if you're watching the show on youtube uh for those of you who don't

00:00:50.700 know we are uploading full episodes on youtube now i know we're audio heavy we've been doing it for

00:00:55.040 close to a decade on audio uh but for those of you that want to check us out on youtube we are

00:00:59.220 uploading those full episodes there and we have a couple cool youtube exclusive projects so you're

00:01:04.540 going to want to go subscribe to that either way um but yeah submit your questions there we'll pull

00:01:09.480 them out we'll answer them on the show that's what this show is about it's mainly personal development

00:01:12.960 how to win in life how to win in business uh this is an entrepreneur focused podcast for the most part

00:01:19.160 traditionally it has been uh with a little taste of uh current event flavor and that brings us to

00:01:24.960 our next episode uh selection which is cti you'll hear us in cs post cti cti stands for cruise the

00:01:32.860 internet and that's kind of where we cover what's going on the news we talk about it we throw some

00:01:36.720 headlines up on the screen we make some jokes we talk about what's true what may not be true

00:01:40.580 and try to help navigate through the uh plethora of bullshit that we live in called society right now

00:01:46.460 so um and it's definitely not politically correct so like if you're expecting that it's not

00:01:52.100 other times we have real talk real talk is five to 20 minutes of me just giving you guys some real

00:01:59.100 talk uh and then we have full length and full length is uh what you guys are used to in most

00:02:03.700 podcasts where it's a few people sitting around having a conversation and for all the value that

00:02:09.960 we may or may not bring you we do ask that you abide by the rule of value exchange now you'll notice

00:02:15.840 that i don't read ads on the show i don't run ads on the show um i don't take money from companies so

00:02:22.160 that they can leverage what i say or what i don't say i try to keep it super authentic and i try to

00:02:26.060 share with you guys uh my business knowledge that i've learned thus far after 24 years of being

00:02:32.080 you know pretty fucking successful in business uh and i'm saying that you know i'm not saying i have to

00:02:38.980 brag i'm saying it because it's a fact uh i try to share these things with you guys and i ask very

00:02:43.320 simply that if what we talk about helps you please share the show if it makes you laugh please share

00:02:49.500 the show if it helps you see through the bullshit of what's going on in society please share the show

00:02:54.000 if you think people need to hear it please share the show uh and we call that the fee so when we say

00:02:58.380 hey pay the fee that's what we're talking about just very simple value exchange if we did good

00:03:03.000 share it if we didn't do good and didn't like the show don't feel obligated to share the show i'm

00:03:07.660 totally cool with that too so what's up man hey what's going on brother dude so i was uh i went to

00:03:14.980 the mall sunday and i walked through jc penny okay did you have to shoot anybody this time no not this

00:03:21.320 time so people don't know that story where you almost had to shoot that dude at the fucking mall

00:03:26.040 dude dj yeah got same mall though yeah dj got caught up in the middle of a literal shootout

00:03:32.380 at our mall here in st louis about what two years ago yeah yeah yeah about two years ago

00:03:37.500 actually right around this time yeah he didn't get to shoot anybody yeah not yet yeah but he was

00:03:41.720 bobbing and weaving i was right there but no i was walking around i was in jc penny and i don't i

00:03:47.760 mean i had no reason in there um but i'm walking through and then i saw denying that you shot by

00:03:51.600 jc penny i think everybody i think everybody denies okay that's fair enough it's fair it's like

00:03:56.880 it's like admitting you like nickelback no it's like it's like it's like it's like admitting you

00:04:01.380 like riding on a moped like everybody likes i've never rode on yeah but see everybody has fun

00:04:05.940 on a moped but nobody wants to nobody wants to be seen riding it it's like a segue yeah it's you

00:04:10.300 know there's a there's a there's a saying you know from us old folks yeah ronadex yeah yeah you

00:04:16.540 know that riding a moped it's kind of like riding a fat girl is that the same yeah it's super fun but

00:04:23.340 you don't want your friends to see you riding it hey and if you're into that that's cool too

00:04:29.820 i'm just saying that's what i've never heard that i didn't make it up hey it's just the rules yeah

00:04:35.800 but also i was i was i was going around in jc penny and i found uh uh this clearance section right and

00:04:42.900 one of the core values here at first one is always be learning um and i saw this item and then i saw

00:04:48.880 the clearance sticker on i said there's no fucking way i can pass this up i got a guitar i saw that

00:04:54.500 an acoustic guitar i bought one i was going to tell you if you wanted to start learning guitar

00:04:59.820 we should do that together because i want to pick back up i'm well i'll say this 2013 i'm two days in

00:05:05.840 yeah your fucking fingers hurt don't they bro i think i have arthritis yeah where are you learning

00:05:09.900 so i use this uh there's like this app that uh it's called like simply guitar something like that

00:05:14.860 it's actually very cores and stuff yeah it's like it's very intuitive because like it listens while

00:05:18.980 you're playing and make sure you're playing the right notes and shit um but dude that

00:05:24.340 shit is fucking hard oh bro that's i i recommend so i didn't start playing guitar until i was 30

00:05:30.320 years old yeah and and by the way i'm no good so don't ask me to play shit i'm not doing it

00:05:37.940 i took lessons for five years and then i i set it down and i haven't really picked it up too much since

00:05:43.880 um because it's like starting over it's a lot like golf like you could like i played golf earlier

00:05:49.900 in life i got to be pretty decent i would i no not good but i would shoot you know a mid

00:05:56.320 high 80 legit no foot wedges no cheating yeah and that's pretty good for a fucking just a uh

00:06:03.320 not hobby golf right but then i i stopped and i went back like five years later bro it was like i

00:06:09.560 never picked up a club i went to a lesson the first time and i'm like nah i'm not starting

00:06:13.180 i fucking let's see my thing is golf's not for me my thing is so i like how you i don't know if

00:06:18.900 you guys know but i play piano right and i'm self-taught on piano i never took any formal classes

00:06:22.880 i've been playing for like 12 years now but because i'm self-taught there's a lot of terrible

00:06:27.940 fucking bad habits that i've learned where like a person that's actually trained in piano will look

00:06:33.820 like what the fuck are you doing but it works right i don't want to do that with guitar like i want to

00:06:37.900 learn it like the right way yeah so that's why i'm trying to do this process and apparently it says

00:06:41.980 that 10 minutes a day for 30 days you can become pretty fucking good is what like i can play a

00:06:49.360 fucking bar mitzvahs and shit is what they're saying i can attest that that's total bullshit

00:06:53.760 is it total i need to get my money back yeah guitar is a is a

00:07:00.720 i think it's something that every single person should attempt to learn because here's what i picked

00:07:09.440 up out of learning to play guitar at a very very uh low functioning level

00:07:13.720 is that now i can watch people who are good at guitar and appreciate how fucking awesome they are

00:07:21.480 like yeah and if you don't have that perspective of trying like like dude like like it's like these

00:07:28.000 fucking fat middle-aged fucking dudes who sucked at high school sports who criticized tom brady for

00:07:35.080 something he did on the fucking field why did he throw the ball yeah like dude you guys are so

00:07:39.520 fucking out of touch with like the reality of how hard what you're observing is that you can't even

00:07:45.020 appreciate it yeah and so that's what i that was the biggest thing i gained from from taking those

00:07:50.640 guitar lessons and if i never picked up a guitar again it gave me a perspective to appreciate music

00:07:55.640 in such a different way that like i appreciate now yeah right like when i see somebody like dude when

00:08:01.080 we were uh hanging with uh when matt and uh and jerry from black rifle and they were at the house

00:08:07.020 so my i have a uh a guitar acoustic guitar sitting on a stand um in my little lounge where we smoke

00:08:14.820 cigars right and um that's going to become an ongoing joke what kind of cigars do you smoke the

00:08:22.680 fucking green ones you're right right so so dude so we're sitting there and uh i think matt picked it

00:08:29.240 up didn't he or was it yeah no jt picked it up first jt picked it up well anyway they went back

00:08:33.760 and forth and bro they're fucking great yeah and it and like just sitting there watching these two

00:08:40.760 dudes who i you know respect from their business and what they've done and they're also friends of

00:08:45.220 mine but and then seeing them have that skill set on top of that like it's just such a cool it's just

00:08:51.400 such a cool thing to know how to do for sure and um i don't know like i i kind of want to pick it

00:08:57.320 back up and start getting back good again but dude i want to hire an instructor that will come

00:09:02.180 to my fucking house two or three nights a week and fucking sit with me for a couple hours and

00:09:07.060 but like dude you know how hard it is to get people to commit to that like these musicians don't they

00:09:10.960 don't care if you how much you pay them either yeah no like they're like they're like in a different

00:09:14.880 fucking world it's a whole different bracket yeah like i got this dude you know him joe uh my old

00:09:20.520 guitar instructor who was one of the most incredible musicians ever bro um this dude his name is

00:09:26.920 matthew fucking great dude learned a lot about not only guitar but also just life um and i haven't

00:09:33.800 talked to him in a couple years but i guarantee if i did it would be totally fucking normal but joe

00:09:38.400 worked with them too uh who joe produces the show and uh well you got you got like a platinum record

00:09:45.500 or something don't you yeah a couple platinum records and that's real shit too yeah real shit it's

00:09:50.420 not like we're not so i'm up so you know joe knows a few things about music and we both agree

00:09:55.980 this dude's one of the most incredible guys musically that we've ever met and dude this was

00:10:00.300 crazy so like i'd sit with him and you know the songs i wanted to learn were either like

00:10:05.940 like uh they were mostly country songs which are easy to learn like they're strum songs yeah

00:10:11.700 well because you could sing to them that's why i like yeah and uh that's what you should be learning

00:10:16.420 too because you like to sing but um and you're good at it but uh the the uh his ability like dude i

00:10:25.920 remember i was we were looking at uh jamie johnson songs and we were going through these different

00:10:30.600 jamie johnson songs jamie johnson if you don't know is my favorite artist okay so like out of all

00:10:36.120 the genres out of all the music out of all the out of all the everything michael jackson fucking

00:10:42.600 everything i think jamie johnson if you don't understand jamie johnson's music or never heard

00:10:46.820 of it you should look into it but he's my number one guy like you guys all think chris stapleton is

00:10:51.160 fucking cool yeah chris stapleton is just copying jamie johnson no shit oh yeah and and no offense

00:10:57.180 to chris he's fucking good too but like i'm just saying jamie johnson is one of the most influential

00:11:01.000 people ever on the in the country music scene yeah and so he's never heard of him matthew's never heard

00:11:07.460 of him and and a lot of people haven't because he's known mainly as a songwriter not as a actual

00:11:13.120 musician uh dude was a marine his whole story is incredible i'd love to have him on the show sometime

00:11:18.800 but um anyhow dude i could play this he'd be like i'd be like so what song do you want to learn

00:11:25.420 because he would make you learn songs right like that you want to learn and i'd say well i want to

00:11:30.000 learn you know uh this song and he's like well i've never heard that let's play it so we go on

00:11:35.220 fucking itunes we play the song this motherfucker could play the song back after listening to the song

00:11:40.340 one time oh shit he could play the song back after listening to it one time and he could play a whole

00:11:46.920 three or four minute song complete without missing a fucking note bro that's crazy yeah that's the

00:11:52.820 level so so that's the level like now now i used to be like fuck that's an incredible talent and he'd

00:11:58.980 be like that ain't a talent dude he's like i've been playing since i was 14 and when i was going

00:12:02.860 or or eight or whatever it was yeah he was probably in his 50s whenever i was going to him

00:12:08.540 so i mean this guy's old yeah he's older but he's been playing his whole life and he

00:12:13.060 and it's funny because it's a it's a lesson that i remember he taught me two valuable lessons

00:12:18.280 one he used to always say andy you're not very patient you need you need to be more patient

00:12:25.340 you know how you get you know how you get more patient and i'd be like no he'd be like by doing

00:12:31.460 things that require patience that was the number one thing that he fucking taught me and then the

00:12:35.600 number two thing that he taught me um was that when you guys observe people who have been doing

00:12:42.880 something their entire life and you call it a talent you're actually insulting them because you're

00:12:50.660 discounting the amount of work that they've put in to get to that level when people come to me

00:12:55.600 and they you know young entrepreneurs come and they say god dude you're so good at what you do

00:13:00.960 you're so talented at what you do i've you know this that the other you guys should realize that

00:13:06.680 this is a time thing yeah this is this is not a talent like it's a skill set that you that you go

00:13:13.980 through by executing day after day after day after day and dude if i had and what he taught me which i

00:13:19.660 don't believe but he said it's true you know if i had been playing guitar for 40 fucking years like he

00:13:25.480 had i'd be able to replay a song too but i don't believe that i think he's super talented as well

00:13:31.240 yeah but the point was he used the time together to teach me these lessons that stuck yeah you know

00:13:37.180 and improve my life yeah 100 the patience thing was a huge deal you know and that's what i'm learning

00:13:42.580 well that's what laid me that's what led me to the understanding of the discipline thing that we

00:13:47.700 talk about with 75 hard and live hard you know to cultivate discipline you have to be disciplined

00:13:52.620 yeah to cultivate grit you have to be gritty to cultivate perseverance guess what you got to

00:13:57.920 persevere and so all these things that we admire in other people that they have are very easy for

00:14:03.820 us to gain not easy simple for us to gain if we understand that the way to get the thing is to do

00:14:10.040 the thing you know absolutely i learned that from him absolutely that's fucking yeah but you know what

00:14:15.760 i offer to pay him like five times his regular rate he still won't come to my fucking house

00:14:20.200 oh he's making you want he wants you to come to him yeah he wants you to come to him it's his time

00:14:25.840 his bro he lives he lives his life it does it's it's not about money it's not about this it's not

00:14:31.340 about that now i think if he actually did come to my house and we sat in my garage he'd probably come

00:14:35.640 back you know it's kind of like that you know just a tip once and you're hooked you know he'd come

00:14:42.280 back just one cigar that's right right anyway well yeah man yeah so i'll keep you guys updated how

00:14:47.400 that's going we should fucking i'm down with it yeah i'm down with that bro but i'll tell you this

00:14:51.600 like so bro we practiced for a year or two we'd be out doing shows fuck yeah the andy and dj show we

00:14:57.040 could we could fucking do we could do a whole tour we could do real af live and then the intermission

00:15:01.940 too and joe you could put a beat behind it that's what i'm talking about yeah i mean the patience

00:15:08.540 thing is a big one because like i only paid 40 bucks for the guitars yeah it's like it's a great

00:15:12.500 fucking deal yeah but i almost fucking smashed 40 bucks the other night oh yeah learn it out bro

00:15:17.120 yeah patience is a thing so but yeah let's fucking do it man i'm down i'm down well it is q a so it's

00:15:23.380 time for for other people learning some skills all right cool um andy question number one most people

00:15:29.540 don't know that there are any holes in their boat until it's already taken on water do you have any tips

00:15:35.440 for proactively looking for these holes before they become massive fucking craters do you have any tips

00:15:40.720 on that well first of all again like we talk about a lot on the show you know the fact that you're

00:15:46.740 aware that you need to look for these things puts you way ahead of most people um here's the thing that

00:15:53.660 i you have to be proactive okay meaning you have to actively look and anticipate not react to what

00:16:03.900 happens reactive leaders and reactive entrepreneurs and reactive business people always lose they always

00:16:10.320 lose and this is why from the outside people who are proactive appear to be obsessed it's not that

00:16:17.380 they're obsessed it's that they're proactive and so when you've built something or you've got some

00:16:22.600 momentum or you built a small business and you're trying to grow it into a medium-sized business or

00:16:26.480 whatever it is you're working on and you are proactively looking for things that could trip you up

00:16:33.480 you're actually being what should be considered a real entrepreneur okay reactive people are not

00:16:40.760 entrepreneurs and unfortunately most people are reactive and this is why most people you know they

00:16:45.640 wait until the relationship is over before they try hard right they come home their girlfriend says

00:16:51.140 you know you didn't take me on these trips or we didn't do these things we didn't spend this time

00:16:55.760 together and you said you were gonna and you know what i just i'm i'm leaving and all of a sudden the

00:17:00.420 dude's sending flowers he's booking this he's doing that and what this actually comes down to

00:17:05.540 is a concept that i call selective urgency okay and this means that you believe and most people do believe

00:17:13.040 that they can choose the things that they want to be urgent about and the rest of the shit doesn't

00:17:19.120 matter but here's what happens when you think like that what ends up happening when you think like that

00:17:23.800 is that your boat that has holes because bro your boat has holes my boat has holes everybody out

00:17:29.560 here has holes in their boat even if they want to pretend like they don't and so when you have

00:17:33.660 selective urgency and you say well you know i'm gonna look over here and pretend these things don't

00:17:38.200 these things aren't really that big of a deal well then before you know it you've got so much water

00:17:43.000 in the boat that you can't save the boat and this is the this is a concept that all of you guys need

00:17:47.940 to really understand whether it be business whether it be your life whether it be relationships

00:17:53.000 uh in any any regard because the truth of the matter is most of us intuitively know where the

00:17:59.240 holes are but not many people really want to look because they understand it's uncomfortable to look

00:18:03.800 at the holes and fix them but i can promise you that if you became proactive and you started to have

00:18:10.520 urgency in all areas of your life your life will drastically improve because you're going to have

00:18:15.640 confidence and belief that those holes are handled so now you're not getting surprised and blindsided

00:18:21.160 you don't have to worry about these things that might happen to you because you you're aware

00:18:25.240 all right and then you you are actively seeking these problems out to fix so what it actually does

00:18:31.480 is it brings you more peace uh because you know you're handling your business so what do you say to

00:18:37.080 people because i feel like a natural inclination for a lot of people like well shit okay i see that

00:18:41.800 hole there yeah i see water's coming on i'm just gonna focus on my fucking strengths i'm gonna go super

00:18:46.680 hard on my strengths because they're so uncomfortable about handling that how do you how do you how should

00:18:51.160 those people get out of that mindset well you have to realize that and the people who say focus on your

00:18:56.120 strengths and you don't need to worry about your weaknesses are that's not an accurate statement

00:19:00.680 it's not reality because what will happen is you will get really strong over here in this one area

00:19:05.560 but this weak part this part that keeps on taking on water will end up pulling you back it'll act as if

00:19:11.000 uh you're running full speed with a parachute on all the time so while you don't need to dwell on

00:19:16.920 your weaknesses you do need to pay them enough attention to where you can handle them to where

00:19:20.920 they don't become a hindrance to the process or the journey that you're on yeah i love it i love it

00:19:26.360 any uh question number two um you've said before that you gotta sometimes you just gotta do the hard

00:19:34.440 shit right what have you found to be the best way i guess to quote unquote embrace the suck

00:19:41.640 like i mean do you embrace it or like is it the suck and you know it's the suck how do you how do

00:19:46.200 you look at that how do how do i how do i personally look at it um i enjoy the things that are extremely

00:19:56.120 difficult because i know that people that are competing with me won't do them oh yeah so when when i'm

00:20:03.240 like for example like when when i go out a lot of you guys watch me and you see me out you know

00:20:08.920 doing the live hard program when it's minus 27 degrees like it was a month ago um and you're like

00:20:17.160 why the is this guy doing this well the reason i'm doing it is because i'm training myself to do things

00:20:23.400 like i know for a fact that not a single one of my peers that owns a company out there that i'm

00:20:29.320 competing with or even in a personal development space people i'm fucking like you know my peers

00:20:35.080 now i'm not gonna say they're competitors because i like these people but i also take pride in being

00:20:41.560 a little bit harder than what they are and so i while it may sound stupid to you this is a way for

00:20:48.040 me to prove to myself that i'm willing to do shit that they're not willing to do and so when i pick up

00:20:52.520 my phone and i'm out in full fucking you know cold gear trying to do my shit and i pick up my phone

00:20:59.880 and i see everybody else like playing fucking golf drinking hot right or fucking chilling on the

00:21:04.280 fucking beach or whatever it is they fucking do i take a lot of pride in that i'm like yep see

00:21:09.400 i'm winning they're probably losing yeah right now at this minute i'm winning they're losing

00:21:13.480 so like i like that i like that feeling and it gives me confidence to uh into my own abilities and my

00:21:21.160 own ability to persevere and do things that are difficult and so that's how i how i frame it in

00:21:26.760 my mind to embrace the hard things like when you can remember that because like dude here this is a

00:21:32.680 reality that most people are uncomfortable accepting but it's true you are in a competition

00:21:39.000 like you you may say to yourself i don't compete with anybody i only compete with myself and like we

00:21:43.720 see this meme all over the place right like the only person that you compete with is the version

00:21:47.800 of yourself yesterday and while that may be true that that is how you should look at it it's a great

00:21:52.920 way to look yeah sure because how you're going to beat your external competition is by doing that

00:21:58.760 okay but here's what you have to realize about that that doesn't mean the external competition is

00:22:03.880 is make-believe or fake or it doesn't exist and so a lot of people like to like opt out of

00:22:09.080 competition by saying i'm not competing with you but you fucking are right and that's the reality

00:22:15.160 and so when you when you understand that that's reality like especially if you're in business bro

00:22:19.640 you have competitors these people might like bro i'm friends with most of the people i compete with

00:22:25.080 like most of the dudes that run other companies that are that are my size or bigger and even a

00:22:30.440 little bit smaller i'm friends with all those fucking guys but guess what i still want to beat

00:22:35.000 them yeah and they want to beat me right and when they when they do beat me because sometimes they

00:22:40.040 do you know what i say fuck dude that's good i could do that i could do that better you see what i'm

00:22:44.680 saying so you allow these little micro competitions in your own brain to drive your progress forward

00:22:51.000 and a lot of people do themselves a disservice because they don't feel comfortable saying that

00:22:54.840 they're competing with people and that they want to win but the reality is is like that's the way the

00:22:59.240 world works you could deny it all you want just like you could deny gravity we could argue about

00:23:03.480 gravity bro you could say it's fucking fake you could say it's bullshit you could say it's made up

00:23:09.320 but if we go stand on the top of the building um we're gonna see how much you actually believe

00:23:13.640 that right because if you step off the side you know what's going to happen you're gonna hit the

00:23:17.480 fucking ground gravity gonna kick your ass and this is no different than when people deny competition

00:23:22.680 like dude every human being has a competitive nature ingrained in them and then over the course

00:23:28.840 of time through schooling through uh indoctrination through propaganda that especially recently the last 20

00:23:38.280 years you know through participation trophies telling people they're special when they

00:23:43.160 fucking are just like everybody else and all this shit we have weeded out the competitive nature of

00:23:50.600 humans by the time they're 20 years old now when they were fucking two they had competitive nature in

00:23:56.200 them and here's the proof give a kid a nerf set of a nerf set of basketball you know the little

00:24:02.440 nerf sets for the babies kitty hoop okay or give them a fucking one of those blocks with the round

00:24:07.240 peg and the fucking square the square block and watch them get it in the hole what do they do when

00:24:11.800 they get them in the fucking hole bro yeah they celebrate automatically it's in them your daughter

00:24:16.760 does it when she does something that she knows is good she fucking gets excited that we're all born

00:24:22.040 with that we're all born with the competitiveness inside of us and then it's weeded out by society you

00:24:27.080 know when we first grow up when we're you know uh under the age of you know let's say eight we are

00:24:34.600 taught oh you could be anything you could be anything you could be a doctor you could be a

00:24:38.680 lawyer you could be a president you could be anything right but as time goes by the time you're a senior

00:24:44.440 in high school they're telling you like they told me that you're a fucking idiot and that dude you

00:24:49.000 should just you know relegate your dreams to being a regular person time to be realistic yeah that's

00:24:53.880 right and so that shit is weeded out of us you know like when when i when i was a senior in high

00:24:58.600 school i was you know i've told the story a number of times but it's relevant i was told you know they

00:25:03.560 said well what do you want to do i told them where i wanted to go what i wanted to do and i was and

00:25:07.640 the response was andy you're not cream of the crop man that's a that's that's a path for people that

00:25:12.600 are cream of the crop and that just ain't who the fuck you are and it was that's i remember that

00:25:16.520 shit burned in my fucking brain like it was yesterday i'm glad it was said to me because i used it as fuel

00:25:21.480 but i'm just saying as an example that's the that's the over the course of 17 years that's

00:25:27.800 the progression of humanity and so people come out of school where they should be prepared for

00:25:32.600 actual competition they come out thinking that competition is immoral that it's wrong that it

00:25:39.000 doesn't exist or that you can opt out of it and the truth is you cannot opt out of it competition is

00:25:44.200 real and it's real in your job it's real in your life it's real in your relationship okay how many

00:25:50.200 of you motherfuckers lost a a a fucking partner in your relationship to somebody else that was better

00:25:55.400 yeah yeah we're living in a competitive world this is the truth this is the reality and so when you

00:26:01.220 deny that as reality you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of fucking beatings so it's better to

00:26:07.500 embrace it it's better to understand that yes the way i am going to beat my competition is by being

00:26:14.380 better than i was yesterday but the external competition is a real thing and it does exist and i have to be

00:26:19.560 better than that or i'm going to fucking lose in all of these areas andy uh third and final question

00:26:24.700 andy i had a mentor uh once tell me to never use money as a measurement of how successful you are

00:26:33.660 because you can always look around and find someone else has more so how do you or how should someone

00:26:41.180 truly measure their success well first of all math doesn't lie okay so if you look in your

00:26:49.300 bank account and has a whole bunch of fucking money in it or you look around your life and

00:26:52.880 there's a bunch of things that cost a whole bunch of fucking money you're doing something right yeah

00:26:56.580 okay so let's not fucking act like this is the you know politically correct and let's not shit on

00:27:01.640 fucking money you know a lot of these coaches out here like to pretend like money doesn't matter

00:27:05.820 and this and that bro they're fucking full of shit money matters a lot and it matters a fuck ton

00:27:11.120 more than you actually think it does you see all these broke people all over the internet saying the same

00:27:15.480 shit right money doesn't make you happy it's lonely at the top it's you know see what happens

00:27:21.800 whenever people become successful they become evil or this or that or this notice that you don't see

00:27:27.080 anybody with significant financial status saying any of that shit it's always the same motherfuckers

00:27:34.060 it's either people who are totally broke or it's fucking coaches that haven't actually built anything

00:27:39.160 that are trying to sound idealistic to appeal to people who are also broke so they can make money

00:27:44.920 yes so that's a fucking lie yeah okay now with that being said does that mean it's the only thing

00:27:52.580 absolutely not there are multiple spectrums of success in your life there is your fitness are you

00:27:59.080 a fat fuck are you actually fucking fit and healthy are you taking care of yourself there's your mental

00:28:04.360 health are you disciplined are you hardened are you ready for the battle that is life or are you soft

00:28:10.580 as fuck and quitted everything that you try to do that's most people most people can't finish things

00:28:15.100 that's their whole problem that's why 75 hearts such a valuable program shameless plug can you have a

00:28:21.840 shameless plug for some shit that's free though i mean it's fucking free you should fucking do it anyway

00:28:26.280 then you have your relationship what's your relationship look like right you okay is your

00:28:30.840 relationship fucking shit show is it drama or is it actually uh you know do you contribute to each

00:28:38.120 other are you pushing each other for forward are you there for each other are you building together

00:28:42.480 um there's all these different areas you know there's personal fulfillment are you fulfilled

00:28:48.020 because you can have a lot of money and not be very fulfilled right uh so anybody who says they have

00:28:54.920 the ultimate way to measure success bro these people are just like you don't don't misunderstand

00:29:00.480 this okay and i'm not saying this to brag i'm saying this as a matter of fact i'm more financially

00:29:06.720 successful than 99.9999 of these fucking coaches out there period i've done it i built real shit

00:29:13.260 and if you ask them they'll fucking tell you the truth they'll tell you that not a single one of

00:29:19.740 them and me included actually know what success the right way to measure it is we don't fucking know

00:29:27.560 i'm still trying to figure it out myself okay and my point in saying that last statement is not to

00:29:31.520 brag it's to show you that you can be really far down the road and still be trying to figure this out

00:29:36.320 now how i judge success is how committed i am to pulling the potential out of myself and how good

00:29:46.360 of a job am i doing at fulfilling my own true potential okay people ask me all the time what is

00:29:53.440 success to you success to me is the commitment to the pursuit of your own true potential it's self

00:30:01.900 actualization here's the thing with that the reason i think that's the definition of true success

00:30:10.000 is because you never get to a point where you're actually successful and when you commit to

00:30:16.640 understanding that you never actually realize your own true potential but you pursue it anyway

00:30:21.420 in the name of progression you are committing to a very noble life okay and here's why it's noble it's

00:30:28.420 not noble because you have a bunch of money it's not noble because you got some cars it's not noble

00:30:33.220 because you built a company it's noble because when you show people what it looks like to progress

00:30:39.840 through the course of life constantly evolving constantly growing constantly improving you are

00:30:45.060 inspiring people to do the same and this is a big issue that we have across the world we have a world

00:30:52.320 full of people who are told to love themselves and accept themselves and just be who the fuck you are

00:30:58.480 and people interpret that as that it's okay to be this way lesser this much lesser version of your own

00:31:07.840 self and bro there's nothing noble about that they're settling you were fucking born with that shit bro you

00:31:13.380 haven't done shit and this is why on the inside when those people talk about self-love and they talk about

00:31:19.020 they're fulfilled and they're happy i know for a fact they're full of shit i know for a fact they're

00:31:24.760 full of shit and if you ever get them quiet and you get them in a private area and you get talking

00:31:29.240 to them and you say hey man are you fulfilled are you happy they'll say yeah well are you really

00:31:35.680 are you really man like explain to me what you think that means how are you fulfilled they can't

00:31:40.560 explain it they can't explain it and the reason they can't explain it is because they're just

00:31:45.080 parroting some shit they're hearing from some idealistic you know predator which is what it is

00:31:51.260 okay a lot of these idealistic people on the internet are predators and the reason they're

00:31:55.200 predators is because they convince people that to somehow pay them for shit or buy their books or

00:32:00.960 whatever but that they should just stay where the fuck they are and the reason this strategy makes

00:32:05.440 people money is because people are perfectly comfortable not doing any work all right so we have to

00:32:10.160 understand that when you commit to the the self-actualization process when you commit to the

00:32:16.280 development of your own true potential you have to understand that as you go through the process

00:32:22.920 and as you make mistakes and as you develop new skills your potential expands on the back end

00:32:29.200 which means your potential does is not a static point it's a sliding scale and what does that mean

00:32:35.120 that means no matter how much fucking work you do no matter how much you give no matter how much

00:32:39.940 fucking personal development you put in no matter how much you grow you will never actually reach

00:32:43.960 your own true potential and if you understand that and you still commit to that because you

00:32:49.240 understand what it's going to create for not only for yourself but for other people i think that's a

00:32:52.960 very noble way to look at success because other people will be inspired to also continue to grow to

00:32:57.880 also evolve to also grow what if what if everybody in the world stayed exactly where they are when

00:33:04.460 they're fucking 18 19 20 years old which is what society is trying to cultivate they want yeah

00:33:09.140 they're trying to cultivate this they're trying to cultivate a society of people who don't want

00:33:14.860 to work people who have no ambition people who are not competitive people who are not smart people

00:33:20.200 who have no desire to get better and instead indulge on all the creature comforts that they have created

00:33:26.900 for us netflix fucking streaming services fucking ice cream on demand domino's pizza in seven minutes

00:33:35.040 like bro they're they're creating customers by creating over consumers by denying people

00:33:42.200 what is actually the essence of life which is growth you see what i'm saying so that's why we have so much

00:33:48.880 depression that's why we have so much anxiety that's why we have so much uh mental illness in

00:33:54.060 society is because these people and by no fault of their own bro most parents don't teach their kids

00:34:00.080 about this shit okay so like your fucking dad their dad everybody's dad like they don't they

00:34:05.360 don't teach them that shit very few parents and by the way parents you should be doing this okay but

00:34:11.100 then you throw in the teachers on top of you throw in teachers who have never actually done anything

00:34:17.440 okay now i'm not saying all teachers there's some great fucking teachers out there okay but there's a

00:34:22.180 lot that don't give a fuck that are there because they get three months off a year and they don't give a

00:34:27.120 shit about your development or creating or or pushing you down the path to actual success so

00:34:34.840 you know when you hear people uh very hard line defined success of it's not about this it's about

00:34:45.000 this or it's definitely not about that bro these people don't know what the fuck they're talking

00:34:48.960 about and any any single one of them you put them on my show and i'll fucking expose you i'll expose

00:34:53.840 them right in front of your face they don't know what the fuck they're talking about for free

00:34:56.680 i will i'm just saying if they came on my show i could get them in fucking less than five minutes

00:35:03.060 i would expose that they actually don't know

00:35:05.200 and you know you know how you know why they don't know because nobody knows nobody fucking knows

00:35:14.260 like i'd be a liar if i sat up here and said that's the way that's just the way i interpret it

00:35:20.720 that's the way i see it there's a million other ways to see it that's how i see it that was the

00:35:26.620 question wasn't it yeah okay so that's my definition if you don't agree with it and you

00:35:31.580 want to be a fat slob your whole life and do that shit i don't fucking it ain't my life bro it's your

00:35:36.280 life yeah i'm just telling you when i committed to that process my life got a lot better in all

00:35:41.620 areas i got better in every single fucking area love it yeah well guys drop down in the comments

00:35:47.000 what you guys think your definition of success is if you're on youtube let us know that but uh

00:35:51.460 any guys that was three yeah i'll pay the fee

00:35:53.860 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stove counted millions

00:36:00.640 in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold that's a no headshot case closed

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 14, 2023

473. Q&AF： Proactively Looking For Holes In Your Boat, Embracing The Suck & Measuring Success

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