92. 4 Ways To Dominate Your Bitch Voice In 2021
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
190.33815
Summary
In this episode of The Realest, Andy Frisella talks about how you can beat the bitch voice in 2021 and beat the boss voice in order to be more active and more active in your execution of your daily execution habits.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living
00:00:04.680
spoke it till existence mo changed to 50 got mo cost than did i only weigh 180 but my watch
00:00:11.720
cost 250 what's up guys it's andy frisella and this is the show for the realest say goodbye to
00:00:17.300
the lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality
00:00:23.680
guys today with uh 2021 being just a few days away um and seeing the plethora of comments talking
00:00:33.140
about how you're so glad that 2020 is over and you're looking on to 2021 normally i would totally
00:00:41.380
rip your ass for saying that but i am in agreement that 2020 sucked uh it was probably the best year
00:00:48.820
personally for me um got in the best shape business is doing the best uh that it's ever
00:00:54.840
been all my companies uh but like i told you guys i i wanted to make sure of that when all this stuff
00:01:02.120
started happening so i got very intentional about my daily routine and my daily execution habits
00:01:08.940
and i've been sharing that with you guys all year so i'm not surprised that you know this year's turned
00:01:15.340
out good for me personally and i'm not trying to rub it in anybody's fucking face um but it has been
00:01:21.480
and i've been trying to get you guys to understand that you know with uh the world and chaos it's a
00:01:29.840
great time for you to get intentional and to be intentional about your daily executions so that you
00:01:38.840
can widen the gap between you know where you want to be and where everybody else is and that's what i've
00:01:44.740
done this year for myself um some of you guys have also done that and it's been really cool to watch
00:01:50.420
uh but some of you guys you know you did the same shit you did you know last year and the year before
00:01:55.860
that and the year before that you're the motherfuckers that are posting the meme that says
00:01:59.360
you know 2018 was uh training camp 2019 was the warm-up 2020 was the warm-up after the warm-up and 2021
00:02:10.080
is going to be when i kick ass like this is the shit you guys saying you know you're full of shit
00:02:14.760
so let's be real for those of you who um actually intend on getting better uh you're sick of your
00:02:24.480
life you're sick of being frustrated you're sick of being mad about everything and you say dude
00:02:30.220
fuck this i'm getting i'm gonna do it uh that's what we're going to talk about today i'm going to talk
00:02:34.860
about um some things that we can do to make this easier for us to execute all right so uh we're not
00:02:43.980
going to talk about politics you guys know i love to talk about politics you know i love my tinfoil
00:02:48.960
hat and all this crazy shit that goes with it uh but today this is going to be about you guys winning
00:02:54.160
um so if you guys read uh my book 75 hard you know that i talk about a concept in that book um
00:03:03.960
where we have two voices and we have the bitch voice and then we have the boss voice all right
00:03:09.080
and those two voices are the voices that basically dictate our actions uh and our lives up until
00:03:19.860
we start to become aware of the voices and then we start to actually react in a different way
00:03:26.580
when these voices speak so real quick your bitch voice would be the voice that talks you out of
00:03:33.260
doing the shit that is going to bring you closer to where you want to be and your boss voice is the
00:03:38.400
voice that is always telling you what you should do uh and usually you know your bitch voice is trying
00:03:45.060
to talk you out of it so there's really like a three-party dynamic happening here right
00:03:49.280
there's you and then you have your bitch voice and then you have your boss voice you guys might
00:03:54.000
have seen a cartoon uh you know growing up they had the cartoon where you know the little uh good
00:03:59.560
the angels on one shoulder and the devil's on the other shoulder and then you're in the middle and
00:04:03.700
that's kind of what the dynamic is here uh only it's in your brain so the first thing is you have to be
00:04:09.940
aware that this exists now for a lot of you guys just being aware of your bitch voice and your boss
00:04:17.840
voice is going to make a huge impact on how you react and how you execute because once you realize
00:04:24.080
that you're talking yourself out of the things that are actually going to bring benefit into your life
00:04:29.680
you can stop that real quick for others you know this is a little bit more active and that's what i
00:04:35.220
want to talk about today what i really want to talk about is how you can beat the bitch voice
00:04:41.400
in 2021 and i'm going to give you uh you know three to six examples of what your bitch voice sounds
00:04:50.220
like and what the actual reality is of the scenario because these things are going to happen there's
00:04:57.240
no way to completely silence your bitch voice all right there's no way to only have a boss voice we
00:05:02.580
all have both and anybody who says that they don't is full of shit okay so that's the reality so
00:05:09.140
what does your bitch voice sound like right well the first thing that i came up with here that we all
00:05:16.780
have and i think we'll all relate to when we think about our bitch voice is the little whiny thing
00:05:23.060
um you have plenty of time to get that done just wait until later or you know you don't have enough
00:05:29.400
time right it's one of the two things and it has to do with our scarcity of time your bitch voice
00:05:36.280
knows that actions are going to produce results and it can't really stop you from taking action
00:05:43.720
but it can talk you into delaying action and then eventually you run out of time and you're dead and
00:05:50.280
you didn't do anything all right this happens to a lot of people so when you have this bitch voice
00:05:56.320
come up that says to you you know oh dude what's the hurry here why why why are you rushing so hard
00:06:03.120
you know why are you taking this so serious um you know relax you got plenty of time when you start
00:06:10.200
to hear all of these things the key to overcoming this specific excuse is to clearly stop it immediately
00:06:19.780
and to take action on whatever it is that you're trying to do now i've talked about this for years
00:06:25.140
it's called a production pivot all right you actually learn to train yourself to use your
00:06:32.860
bitch voice as the trigger for you to actually get up and move all right so when you have the
00:06:39.120
bitch voice that says oh you know what we'll just wait until tomorrow we got plenty of time
00:06:44.160
you don't need to work out today all right that's what it says that's when you should get up
00:06:49.380
immediately off the couch and then just go walk for 30 minutes or or you don't have to go out and
00:06:55.680
fucking conquer the world guys we're talking about very slight changes that make a big difference over
00:07:01.580
time so if if you could train your brain to use this as a switch to actually trigger you into action
00:07:10.520
now you're in a position of power now you're in a position of control and now even though you know
00:07:16.560
you're not conquering the world right maybe you don't have the best workout you ever had maybe you
00:07:21.800
maybe you just go do something that you wouldn't normally have done what you normally would have done
00:07:27.340
uh over the course of time that adds up to a big thing at the end of the year all right so that's your
00:07:34.940
first one uh the second one we all have this too the the the the idea that we're not talented enough
00:07:42.460
right like oh dude do you really think you're good enough for that like dude when i was starting
00:07:47.460
in business i looked at all these other business guys and i constantly doubted myself i constantly
00:07:54.020
told myself in my head that i wasn't good enough or that i wasn't um equipped enough and dude i wasn't
00:08:00.940
equipped right i did i wasn't good enough at the time that was the truth i had to get better but
00:08:06.680
a lot of people tell themselves these things um and and it stops them from getting anywhere okay
00:08:14.240
because most successful people that i know they all understand that this isn't about talent
00:08:19.700
it's about choices all right your individual small choices over the course of time are what compound
00:08:26.260
into the overall result of success down the road all right and this is why it takes time this is why
00:08:33.920
you know all these motherfuckers online telling you that you're going to make a million dollars in 12
00:08:39.200
weeks or fucking two weeks or whatever the fucking new thing is this week they're saying you know if
00:08:44.600
you buy their course for 997 dollars um they're full of shit it just takes time you have to have these
00:08:52.040
little things compound over and over and over all right so it's not about talent like if you want to be
00:08:59.820
a writer you're gonna fucking suck at first all right but how do you get better at things by doing
00:09:06.160
them i used to have a guitar teacher very very smart guy he told me something that that stuck with me
00:09:12.980
forever um that i'm very thankful for and out of all the things that we talked about over the hours and
00:09:19.420
hours and hours but dude the hundreds of hours that i've spent with with this man the thing that stuck
00:09:26.160
with me the most wasn't you know the guitar lessons it was this one little sentence that he said to me
00:09:31.440
and he and he said he's right um he's like andy you know you're not very patient right and i'm not i
00:09:39.020
want to get there just like you guys i want to fucking become stevie ray vaughan and fucking two weeks
00:09:44.040
right like and that ain't happening and i still suck at guitar but what he said was so very very powerful
00:09:51.080
for me and i've i've carried it into my business life for a long time and that was this he said
00:09:56.760
andy you know you're not very patient i'm like well no shit matthew that's that's obvious and he's
00:10:02.280
like you know what you do to get more patience and i'm like no he's like you do things that require
00:10:08.040
patience and i'm like fuck that's pretty fucking brilliant shit right there bro and it stuck with me
00:10:13.900
and so this is the same thing when we talk about like what you want to get better at so many of you
00:10:19.860
guys let your bitch voice talk you out of doing the thing that you want to be great at because
00:10:27.140
you're not very good at it now and guess what you're not going to get any better by not doing it and so
00:10:33.460
what you have to realize is you have to understand that when you start to doubt yourself that is also
00:10:39.260
a trigger a production pivot like i talked about in the first point that you're going to take and then
00:10:44.920
you're going to apply that to whatever it is you want to do if you want to be fit when you start
00:10:49.320
saying hey you know you're you're not very fit well no shit what do you think you should do at
00:10:53.700
that time i don't know maybe something that will make you more fit you know oh dude i don't know if
00:10:59.860
you know i don't know if you're smart enough for that and this is our internal conversation right
00:11:04.040
this is the little devil saying you know you're not smart enough for that what should you do at that
00:11:08.960
time well do something that makes you a little smarter in that area whatever it is this is not
00:11:13.680
rocket science shit guys this is common sense if you could take the negative momentum and learn to
00:11:19.240
flip it over to positive momentum what's your life going to look like in two or three years versus what
00:11:23.840
it would look like in two or three years if you keep going the way you're going all right so
00:11:27.740
understand attack the things that you're bad at a lot of people will say uh you know the popular
00:11:35.160
thing is nowadays is go all in on your strengths and fuck your weaknesses well i'm going to tell you
00:11:40.080
the truth is you're just not going to get very far doing that because not all of us are naturally
00:11:45.860
gifted with really anything i know i'm not i'm not i've put in fucking work i've put in decades of
00:11:52.780
work i've put in years and years of work into everything that you guys look at and you think
00:11:59.160
that i'm good at or talented at this is not the case the case is is that i was fucking horrible and i put
00:12:06.360
in the fucking time because i didn't give a fuck how embarrassed i was or how horrible i looked to
00:12:12.040
people because i knew where i wanted to go and that was more important to me than looking stupid
00:12:16.820
that's the truth okay so the third point and this kind of goes along with the whole thing right when
00:12:24.880
you start out and you're trying to do great shit you're trying to do big things and you're trying to
00:12:28.780
grow a business or or change your life or you know do something uh that's very you know earth
00:12:36.220
shattering for you and your existence we got this little bitch voice that comes in and says
00:12:42.500
you know how you how are you going to do that you know andy how you how are you going to build one of
00:12:48.620
the most successful supplement companies on earth you don't you don't have any money you don't have
00:12:54.040
anybody backing you you don't have you know the expertise needed you don't have fucking anything
00:13:01.200
you don't have the connections that's what i heard right like those are the things that i heard in my
00:13:05.720
head but what are you hearing in your head you know you're hearing something along the lines of
00:13:10.300
you don't have the resources you need but what you guys have to understand is that those that lack of
00:13:16.560
resources is what's eventually going to make you super successful in everything that you do because
00:13:24.240
when you don't have the resources all right you're forced to learn skills all right and skills pay the
00:13:32.080
motherfucking bills you've heard that a million times all right so when you when you want to get
00:13:38.040
good at things and you want to fucking win you have to be willing to put in the extra blood sweat and tears
00:13:45.920
effort to learn and develop skills because you don't have the resources that other people have
00:13:52.900
all right and this was a big thing for me coming up in business because i was competing with a lot of
00:13:58.300
people who had investors right this is the thing we see in entrepreneurship right now you know
00:14:05.340
everybody's talking about how much money they raised i don't give a fuck how much money you raise i don't
00:14:09.220
care if you have 10 billion dollars in your bank account because i'm going to tell you if i had raised
00:14:14.000
a billion dollars when i wanted it and i thought that i needed it and i thought that that was the
00:14:18.220
reason i wasn't doing anything relevant i would have wasted on dumb shit but because i didn't have
00:14:23.580
the finances that i needed i had to get creative i had to learn skills and i had to create pathways
00:14:29.480
that otherwise weren't there all right and then what happens is is the people who you're competing
00:14:37.720
against who had the easy way who had the the funding the rich parents all the shit that you bitch about
00:14:44.420
not having okay those people end up not developing the skills all right so they don't have the skills
00:14:51.360
because they relied on the the things that you wish you had that they actually had that you say
00:14:56.920
man it's not fucking fair they have that no actually what's not fair is that that you don't have it and
00:15:02.840
you have to develop these skills and so when you compete against them 10 years down the road you have
00:15:07.880
all the fucking skills and a little bit of money going and a little bit of momentum and you kick their
00:15:12.200
ass no matter how much money they have because they don't have any skills and that's where you want
00:15:16.480
to be and then the long-term trick here on that part the conversation which is worthy to note is
00:15:22.440
that when you start to get momentum how do you trick yourself into thinking that same way that
00:15:28.600
you thought on day one that's really the key man because and a lot of you guys ain't there yet some
00:15:34.240
of you guys are but if you get this is why we see businesses and people who grow companies get to a
00:15:40.380
point where they're selling you know they're comfortable right they got a big house they got maybe a
00:15:45.040
couple cool cars uh maybe they got a lake house or something and their business is going okay and
00:15:50.900
then all of a sudden in two or three years they're fucking broke and you know you're looking around
00:15:56.640
and you're like what happened to those guys what happened to steve man steve was kicking ass steve had
00:16:02.300
the world by the balls man he was doing great what happened to steve well what happened to steve was
00:16:07.880
uh steve got lazy and steve realized that he didn't have to attack so he thought the day every
00:16:16.420
single day like he did on day one or day two or day three right so he started to get a little comfort
00:16:22.760
he started getting he lost the zero options mentality okay zero options mentality is the trick that you have
00:16:30.540
to learn once you become somewhat successful so that you continue to be resourceful you continue
00:16:37.320
to think outside the box and you continue to develop new skills that'll help you uh in whatever
00:16:43.140
it is that you do all right but at the end of the day not having the resources and that bitch voice in
00:16:50.940
your head telling you you know oh you don't have what it takes oh you don't you don't have rich parents
00:16:56.800
you don't have investors those guys raised 30 million dollars you got three dollars that that's
00:17:03.240
shit in your head that's actually a competitive advantage and and you need to realize that okay
00:17:08.300
so what do we do then we when we start to hear this this doubt or this bitch voice that we don't have
00:17:15.120
the resources we start looking for ways to get things done right without the resources because that's
00:17:22.640
where the skills come from okay so this this this one will actually bring out the best in you long
00:17:28.680
term and short term if you're strong-minded enough to become aware of it and then also willing to you
00:17:37.000
know do the gritty work that's going to put you in a position to win long term all right now here's the
00:17:43.260
fourth one and this is the last one i'm going to cover because this is actually going a lot longer than i
00:17:46.700
wanted it to go where we at 20 minutes 20 minutes so far all right so the idea okay that you need
00:17:54.720
permission this is something that a lot of you guys struggle with okay a lot of people uh think that
00:18:01.220
there's some sort of club or there's some sort of like i call it a success fairy right i used to think
00:18:07.400
this is and this is this is for real dude like i used to think there was and i guess it's natural to
00:18:13.960
think this um but i used to think that there was some sort of like chosen one club all right like
00:18:23.600
the universe or the success fairy chose people certain people and i used to always think like
00:18:30.200
back when i was you know younger and uh very ambitious with nothing to show for it i used to
00:18:36.440
wonder if i was going to be one of those chosen people like was i going to be one of the chosen few
00:18:40.960
that the success fairy was going to come and hit on the head with her little you know wand and and i
00:18:47.220
would become what it is that you know i wanted to become and that's how i used to think of it and a
00:18:52.940
lot of people never shake that they still think that that's how it works and i'm here to tell you
00:18:58.000
because i'm i'm on the other side of that now uh after 22 almost 23 years in business um
00:19:05.700
that that's just not true it's just not there is no secret club there is no uh you know i mean
00:19:14.180
well i said i wasn't gonna get any tinfoil hat shit but all right in this regard there's no secret
00:19:19.600
club okay and there is no success fairy and there is no fucking luck there is none of this shit that
00:19:25.340
you guys put all your hopes and dreams in thinking that you know it might not work out for you
00:19:31.360
what stops most people is this thought what if i what if i do all this work what if i fucking do
00:19:39.440
all this what if i change my whole life what if i commit myself what if i do this work for the next
00:19:44.900
10 years and then it ends up not working and i don't get chosen and i didn't get tapped on the head
00:19:51.880
you know i know lots of people who who were never became successful that worked really hard
00:19:57.280
do you do you do you really because i don't think you do i don't think you actually know anybody like
00:20:05.200
that i don't think you know anybody like that i think people are where the fuck they deserve to be
00:20:10.520
and if you look at what they did over the last 10 years their life is going to look exactly
00:20:15.140
what it should look like that's reality and a lot of you are thinking right now well i know
00:20:22.120
fucking bob and yeah but you don't know bob does a fucking pound of cocaine every week
00:20:26.280
you don't know what the fuck is going on behind fucking closed doors you don't know what destructive
00:20:31.380
behaviors or habits people have you don't have any all you know is what the fuck people show you
00:20:36.820
and i'm telling you right now i know lots and lots and lots of very successful people in all areas of
00:20:43.160
life and i don't know one single person that isn't exactly where they should be based upon the time
00:20:48.440
they've put in and the work that they've done that's the truth okay so to think that you are going to
00:20:55.700
have someone that comes along and basically quote unquote like chooses you or you know approves of
00:21:04.860
you or gives you permission that's a common thing that our bitch voice will instill into our brains
00:21:11.120
okay and it's very important that you that you do not listen to that because it is not true
00:21:15.560
now i don't have a um you know a way to get around this one in terms of like hey what what should
00:21:22.340
you do uh i would and when it comes to this this particular excuse when we talk about you know
00:21:29.020
your own doubts telling you uh you know well one day you know i gotta get to know gary v well fuck man
00:21:36.660
you know uh gary v doesn't make or break you bro um if you're good enough eventually gary v will come
00:21:44.260
find you that's the truth so you need to focus on getting good and not worried about like you know
00:21:50.940
what all these fucking fake entrepreneurs say on the internet which is you know
00:21:55.720
go to network with so and so and slide in their dms and see what you can do to bring that
00:22:02.920
how about this how about start a fucking business learn some fucking skills start becoming good at
00:22:09.400
what you do offer a great product for a fair price and fucking do what the fuck you got to do
00:22:15.180
okay this there's no secret to this and there is no club there is no success fairy and the only way
00:22:22.000
to keep yourself on the track of what you're trying to do is to make sure that you hold a high standard
00:22:28.800
for yourself without compromising that standard for anybody this is what we talk about in the 75 hard
00:22:34.940
book right we talk about zero deviation we talk about zero compromise the reason these things are
00:22:41.540
important is because the plans that you make must be followed through on the reason people don't get
00:22:48.920
where they want to go isn't because their fucking plans uh you know are terrible like a lot of you guys
00:22:54.400
spend in every and some sometimes your plans are terrible but you know what you do when you make a bad
00:22:59.480
plan you still execute the plan you figure out that it's bad and you don't do that same one again
00:23:05.080
you add something to it or take something away and then you go at it again and then if that doesn't
00:23:10.360
produce the result you add something to it you take something away and this is how you learn it's
00:23:15.600
just most of you guys aren't patient enough and aren't willing to go through this process you want
00:23:20.500
to buy a fucking program and you want someone to give you some hack you can make an extra 300 a
00:23:26.100
fucking week so you could buy some cooler fucking tennis shoes to flex on the internet and look like
00:23:30.940
a fucking clown that's the truth so do you want to look like cool this week or do you want to look
00:23:36.920
cool for your whole fucking life because that's what we're talking about here all right so understand
00:23:42.840
that you don't need permission you don't need approval you don't need your fucking aunts and
00:23:49.040
uncles to believe in you you don't need your parents to believe in you you don't need your
00:23:53.160
fucking friends to believe in you all you motherfuckers gonna hit me up and say oh nobody
00:23:57.200
fucking believes in me well you know why nobody believes in you because you haven't done shit
00:24:00.540
you haven't fucking done anything what have you done to show people that they should even believe in you
00:24:06.040
think about that it's kind of arrogant to think people should believe in you when you haven't
00:24:12.120
done anything that's just my own opinion so guys these things that i'm going over this if you want
00:24:21.860
to read more about the bitch voice and the boss voice you know i will buy the book um and it explains
00:24:26.680
it in detail but these are just some common things that i wanted to bring up to you guys and make you
00:24:31.320
aware of them because if you if you can't become aware of your own internal dialogue and you can't
00:24:37.720
start to have control over your own internal dialogue and you can't start to tell the bitch
00:24:42.360
voice that you have in your head to sit the fuck down and shut up you're going to have a very hard
00:24:47.440
time making any year your year okay so yeah we're going into 2021 yeah i know everybody's hopeful
00:24:55.920
yeah i know everybody's ready for things to go back to normal and this and that and this and that's what we
00:25:00.980
want i understand all that but really the truth is guys all that shit is irrelevant to your personal
00:25:06.780
success it's irrelevant it might be it might make it more fun it might be nicer it might be uh more
00:25:15.060
convenient but at the end of the day it's it's irrelevant because what's going to be relevant
00:25:21.620
always no matter what year it is no matter what's going on in the world no matter what obstacles you
00:25:29.120
might have or excuses you may think you have no matter fucking what what it's always going to
00:25:35.800
come down to is your own actions and your own choices and your own thoughts and so becoming aware
00:25:43.580
when you're talking yourself out of the things you really want for the things that you can have at this
00:25:48.980
moment the instant gratification aspect becoming aware of your ability to negotiate with yourself
00:25:55.140
becoming aware of your ability of how good of a salesman you actually are to yourself when it
00:26:01.140
because dude you're going to find out how good of a salesman you are are you selling yourself on the
00:26:06.520
weak shit are you selling yourself on the fucking strong shit see what i'm saying so you guys have a lot
00:26:12.840
to think about when it comes into you know achieving your goals but guys i just wanted to hit you up
00:26:17.900
with some of these thoughts because i do want 2021 to be your year you know i do want you guys to win
00:26:25.460
i know there's a you know i'm sarcastic about it a lot of times and i start to you know make fun of
00:26:30.340
this shit but i have to make fun of it otherwise it would drive me fucking insane drive me insane
00:26:35.160
you know this shit that you know like the meme i mentioned you know 20 2018 was my fucking warm-up
00:26:41.100
2019 was my warm-up after my warm-up like well fuck well when the fuck is when are you going to do
00:26:45.900
this shit dude because today is a pretty good fucking time regardless of what's going on in
00:26:52.260
the world all right so guys that's the show i hope to help you if you want the 75 hard book you just go
00:26:58.640
to andy for seller.com uh it's in the store check it out that's the only place i think that it's
00:27:03.820
available now right yep yeah so that's where we do it uh love you guys appreciate you guys and uh
00:27:10.960
let's do have a good 2021 let's do kick ass let's do fucking dominate but let's not make it about
00:27:16.700
2021 let's just make it about our fucking lives
00:27:19.300
told my teacher dumb bitch i'm going to get millions watch this in the project living down