Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 1403 ｜ 1960s Feminist Was Brainwashed Into 3 Abortions. Now She Knows The Truth ｜ Candy Thompson

00:00:00.000 After that second abortion, I began searching in other things to find answers instead of the Bible

00:00:06.340 and going to God. I even went into the occult and read some occultic books at that time,

00:00:11.480 wanting to convince myself that my child wasn't gone and my children weren't gone,

00:00:16.400 that they were still somewhere with reincarnation. Maybe they would come back

00:00:21.360 and they would, you know, have another life. I read those and I was in a really dark place.

00:00:25.560 this episode is brought to you by our friends at world watch go to worldwatch.news slash ally

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00:00:39.060 mrs candy thompson thanks so much for taking the time to join relatable

00:00:53.140 i saw you on instagram sharing a reel about your new book feminine not feminist and one thing that

00:01:01.520 you pointed out is that you went to college in the 1960s yes i did height of the sexual revolution

00:01:07.640 you had been raised a christian so i imagine this was a very different world that you were

00:01:13.060 thrust into at the university of north carolina yes it was um i had been raised a christian

00:01:20.240 And unfortunately, even though I had gone up to the altar as a young girl and wanted to know the Lord and wanted to just love Him, I didn't get the background, I think, that I really needed that answered the question.

00:01:37.980 So when the feminists came in on the 60s with their, you know, with their quotes, and we're hearing all of that, and it sounded good. And it sounded good because, you know, this freedom that they were talking about, you know, we want to be free and equality. And then they made our grandmothers look like they were just slaves in their homes.

00:02:01.860 and I wanted well I wanted to be smart and I wanted to be um you know just um thought of as

00:02:10.640 somebody who you know had had a lot of knowledge maybe at that time going to college I was a little 0.96

00:02:15.980 bit you might say prideful about it and really looked down on the women that were just slaves

00:02:22.640 in their home and I was looking at them that way and then the freedom the sexual freedom

00:02:27.080 I really believe that, that for me and for a lot of women, that we were just looking for love. And, you know, I never, when, when, I mean, when that was going on, I really didn't think of myself as being immoral, even.

00:02:47.800 You know, and in those relationships or in a relationship outside of marriage, a woman is not, I found out, not made for that kind of relationship.

00:03:00.180 One thing is our hormones. 0.99

00:03:01.740 We have hormones that are going to want to bond.

00:03:04.420 We want to bond with that person and maybe even for life.

00:03:08.480 And so I think all along, you know, our souls get hurt, our spirits, whenever we're involved in that.

00:03:15.060 Yeah. Let's talk a little bit more about what it was like for you going to college and seeing this sexual revolution in the 1960s. A lot of us have heard about it, maybe studied it, but we don't really know what it was like to walk on a campus and to see a lot of this feminist propaganda, to hear things like no one needs to be a stay at home mom.

00:03:39.040 these wives are just slaves and to really hear things about oh you need to be sexually liberated 1.00

00:03:45.660 you need to do the things that feel good so I wonder just what it was like being met with these

00:03:52.160 new messages yes well for me it was I was rebellious from my parents and everything I was

00:03:58.780 rebellion I grabbed onto that because it sounded exciting it sounded like that that was the way I

00:04:04.000 was really going to be fulfilled in life and that, you know, that we could find a purpose

00:04:09.940 there that really that outside the home and outside of the confines of marriage, that

00:04:17.200 we really didn't have to be, you know, tied down to this old way of marriage and old way

00:04:24.400 of living and that we could have an equal relationship, that we were equal and that

00:04:30.760 we had those opportunities we wanted those opportunities and uh that our lives were going

00:04:36.560 to be much better because we were going to be freer you know and um as far as the sexual

00:04:43.660 revolution uh i think that for myself it may have not been just well you know having sex with it was

00:04:53.040 part of a date for me or part of a relationship that you know was uh just natural you know to

00:05:00.000 have sex outside. I think it was for me different because I believe looking for love and then having

00:05:06.280 a wounded soul each time if you have sex outside of marriage. And so carrying that into my life

00:05:16.080 at that time, I had a miscarriage in the college dorm. And I didn't reject marriage altogether

00:05:24.500 as being a feminist at that time.

00:05:28.320 I wasn't radical.

00:05:29.800 But I was influenced enough to think

00:05:32.100 I was going to have that equality

00:05:34.180 and that freedom in a relationship.

00:05:37.320 And instead, really, I was in bondage.

00:05:40.540 I really believed during my college years 1.00

00:05:43.140 about the big lie of feminism,

00:05:45.320 and I fell for that. 1.00

00:05:46.940 I fell for the lie that I needed to get my value

00:05:51.900 outside the home.

00:05:54.500 that I needed to find my affirmations there and that it wasn't going to be there in a marriage or a home.

00:06:02.780 And that had a big impact, even though I didn't, you know, wave signs for it or anything.

00:06:08.300 And I didn't go real radical at the time.

00:06:11.800 It was so ingrained in the culture at that time that everybody, I believe, all women were hearing,

00:06:17.940 y'all you know let's you know i am woman the song i am woman uh all the things that were

00:06:24.620 going on and and again it sounded good the lies sounded good but um so many women have fallen for

00:06:33.240 it and abortion is kind of like the fruit of feminism this yes i can be equal i can do the

00:06:41.880 same thing i can walk away from kids just like a man can that's absolutely right and women it was

00:06:47.800 about having that freedom to get rid of anything that would keep us from that career or what we

00:06:56.760 wanted. It was totally selfish, feminism was. And yet I didn't see it. I was blinded by it, 1.00

00:07:03.660 the lies. So you had a miscarriage, but I wonder if we can rewind a little bit

00:07:09.820 to when you found out that you were pregnant. So not only were you having sex outside of marriage,

00:07:15.160 But you also found out that you were pregnant outside of marriage, which even if it was like a feminist era, it's not like today where, oh, yeah, it's okay.

00:07:26.360 You know, a lot of people do that.

00:07:28.120 I imagine that you were terrified when you found out that you were with child.

00:07:31.940 Oh, my gosh, yes.

00:07:33.100 In fact, maybe I didn't explain this well.

00:07:37.620 I didn't know I was pregnant, okay, at first.

00:07:41.120 I didn't know I was pregnant even until I had the miscarriage.

00:07:44.240 okay so the miscarriage was something that just started happening the pain in the dorm one

00:07:50.660 morning and uh i had not really suspected i was pregnant i had been late with a period and was

00:07:58.900 very just not aware of everything that was going on my body and thinking i'm in the science lab

00:08:05.320 and it's 100 degrees down here and i'm just you know having this kind of effect and uh you know

00:08:12.000 talking about this right now is a little difficult too because talking about the um the details yeah

00:08:18.480 when i went through writing my book i was very emotional about some of the things and the lord

00:08:23.820 was healing me so um it's uh coming back from the 60s and so at that time there was so much shame

00:08:33.720 in everything uh like that we still were not free i wasn't free to just flaunt that i mean that would

00:08:41.400 have been at in the 60s now in the 70s i think it became a little bit looser in that way but in the 0.51

00:08:49.260 60s we were uh women were still just not not as free as the feminists were talking about as far

00:08:57.740 as the sexual revolution and so i didn't really know i was pregnant i just went into the bathroom 0.77

00:09:04.620 one morning after um having some pain in the dorm and went um had a miscarriage right there

00:09:12.160 wow at that point and did you go to the doctor did you talk to a friend did you tell

00:09:18.580 the father of the baby uh not then i had a friend who took me to the um

00:09:25.140 took me to the campus infirmary i can imagine that was scary and emotionally traumatic

00:09:34.460 Oh, it was. It was terrible. And what was so bad about it was she thought I had tried to have an abortion, abort myself.

00:09:42.380 At the infirmary.

00:09:43.600 Mm-hmm. That was really difficult. Because at that time, I considered myself pretty moral.

00:09:50.140 Yeah. Right.

00:09:51.000 I didn't really consider myself as being a loose woman. And I thought I loved the guy.

00:09:57.200 Mm-hmm. Right.

00:09:58.800 Yeah.

00:09:59.600 And how did he respond?

00:10:01.500 i didn't tell him right away uh i was in the hospital after um a dnc after i went in because

00:10:13.600 i needed uh you know that and um so i was in the hospital and um that was um kind of the end of

00:10:25.360 that relationship but after that you were still looking for love maybe even more so yes and you

00:10:31.900 write about that you just wanted to get married to the next guy i did that was i wasn't really

00:10:39.340 thinking about marriage i was continuing to just sound this party girl you know just going ahead

00:10:46.680 with my lifestyle and met this guy and was really just trying to drown it all you know and so he was

00:10:54.040 willing to marry me so i married him yep just another guy it was terrible and didn't know him

00:11:00.260 that well uh should have seen it because there was some really there was some really um red flags

00:11:07.380 that went up and the main red flag was uh that he didn't respect his mother very much uh he had

00:11:16.260 problem with alcohol and he also had a temper and he was really uh knew he wasn't a christian

00:11:24.880 right he wasn't a christian so and you still you consider yourself a christian at the time

00:11:30.280 yes i still consider well i wasn't practicing any christianity no but i i still had that

00:11:42.980 background you know and I still wanted to have a good life I want to have that marriage that my

00:11:50.100 I saw you know my parents have yeah and so I thought now that I'm married you know we'll just

00:11:56.480 have a good marriage like that and have children and settle down 1.00

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00:13:22.660 And he was coercive, if not outright abusive, right?

00:13:28.000 Yes, he was.

00:13:29.360 Yeah.

00:13:29.780 Tell me more about that marriage and what it was like.

00:13:32.920 Well, we were in the service in Alaska.

00:13:35.640 and we were working together he was in the air force and i really wanted to have a good marriage

00:13:44.220 but that didn't work out um he was uh very since he wasn't a christian you know he wanted to

00:13:52.220 drink and party and still do the things that he had done in college then he's his friends were

00:13:59.420 the ones that were over there. I really had no friends, no church, no relatives at that

00:14:05.880 time. And so being in that kind of situation, I think what really happened is I was trying

00:14:14.620 to conform to what he was doing. And a wife does. When you marry somebody, you're going 0.81

00:14:20.340 to be led by a man. You're going to be influenced. And it's very hard at that time to break out

00:14:25.200 from anything that was not the traditional marriage you know and so when it became really

00:14:33.160 difficult I started seeing a psychiatrist there on base. Because you felt so alone. Yes and I

00:14:43.180 thought he would change and changing and trying to think you're going to change a husband is

00:14:49.180 something that is just a fantasy because men are you know not made to be I want to say they're not

00:14:56.580 made to be led by a woman really in their nature and so when we women try to conform them and try 0.82

00:15:05.360 to you know we use all kind of techniques but so I wanted him to be different and to be the man

00:15:12.440 stand up and actually lead now that I was not a feminist anymore, I thought. But I really went

00:15:20.680 deeper into the feminism at that time. Was it the psychiatry that you think pushed you deeper into

00:15:27.520 that ideology? No, it was the abortion, the first abortion. Tell me about that. So you found out

00:15:37.460 that you were pregnant and yeah I was happy at that time okay I was really happy at that time

00:15:44.040 the first abortion was after we had our son we already had a son and we were happily you know

00:15:53.080 happy with him and I thought well uh he'll this will be good we'll have our second child maybe a

00:16:01.220 girl and I really wanted a girl and I thought well this this will be good you know we'll have a

00:16:06.480 daughter and there was always the hope that it was going to be better that the marriage was going to

00:16:10.940 be better and that something would change and that he would maybe mature and be more responsible

00:16:18.940 but he really didn't mature and become more responsible he wanted to party he started

00:16:24.740 smoking grass and it was illegal and uh so when i got pregnant um and told him we had an argument

00:16:36.460 and the argument led to you know some words and then he lost his temper and kicked me

00:16:43.500 yeah i kicked me in the stomach wow and so i was coerced in that into that abortion by

00:16:52.000 feeling that i had that i was trapped that i had no other choice

00:16:59.160 the abuse caused the abortion or after that you went to the clinic

00:17:05.760 It didn't cause the abortion. It was very early in the pregnancy. And I debated. There was a couple in the friendships that he had. A couple visited. And I look at this, I was thinking, the enemy at that time was really working on me in the darkness that I was in already, having gotten in the marriage.

00:17:32.620 But at that time, we had a couple come over who had had an abortion right there in the Air Force hospital and talked about it as if it were just something, you know, casual.

00:17:43.460 They were saying, yes, we decided we didn't want a baby.

00:17:47.400 And this was in the 70s.

00:17:49.420 We're talking about early 70s.

00:17:51.840 It was actually before Roe v. Wade.

00:17:53.540 and uh alaska was one of four states i believe it's four that was having that uh that had passed

00:18:02.180 it legally right and so um so i i sat there and listened to them and i thought how can they do

00:18:09.880 that you know and here I was pregnant and had had this fight and so I ended up going in and

00:18:23.760 he took me and I I got upset and left I didn't I didn't want to have it and tried to tried to say

00:18:33.240 no I tried to get out of it I went back to the apartment and then there was another fight

00:18:39.220 and uh another argument and the fight was over he wanted you to have this abortion yeah he just

00:18:46.900 didn't think that y'all needed another child no he didn't he'd been an only child and so that was

00:18:51.460 what he wanted yeah and so after that fight you did go back i did go back and uh they put me to 0.99

00:18:59.600 sleep and um i um woke up in a room full of women i didn't know that they i thought later they must 0.98

00:19:11.500 have had abortions too yeah and none of us looked at each other i just went out and that dead 0.58

00:19:19.140 feeling that comes to a woman afterwards and some and the horrible regret that women are having

00:19:24.260 they're having a regret right afterwards even though they it looked like this was the best

00:19:30.020 solution you know and instead they have the greatest regret of their lives a lot of times

00:19:36.860 and just you know suffer for years and years i was very angry yeah i was very angry

00:19:44.840 and you were angry at your husband at the whole situation maybe a little bit at yourself

00:19:53.180 at the time maybe you didn't even fully realize you know the circumstance that you were in and

00:19:59.600 you really you struggled after that a lot I'd had two abortions in Alaska so you had your first

00:20:08.320 abortion and then you got pregnant again and then it was the same kind of situation

00:20:14.520 went to a medical doctor that time a different place yes and my husband and son sat in the

00:20:24.440 waiting room and went back and it was the most horrible time and of my marriage

00:20:35.080 almost the most horrible time so during this time after that second abortion it may be between the

00:20:42.360 first and second in Alaska, I began searching in other things to find answers instead of the Bible

00:20:49.140 and going to God like I wish I had, of course. I went to the Feminine Mystique at that time,

00:20:56.040 and it just really what it did is it just validated what I had been thinking that I was a

00:21:04.260 slave in the home there. And so it was putting me in really a more just what they had said all the

00:21:11.120 time was happening to me and um i even went into the occult and read some occultic books at that

00:21:18.680 time and um trying to find the spiritual reason behind all of that and wanting to convince myself

00:21:28.480 that my child wasn't gone and my children weren't gone that they were still somewhere uh they would

00:21:37.460 maybe even with reincarnation maybe they would come back and they would you know have another

00:21:42.480 life wow so that's what you were looking for you were looking for some sort of children

00:21:47.980 redemption yes which it's it's interesting because that is also something that is

00:21:53.700 repopularized that i've seen people talking about their spirit babies and how their spirit babies

00:21:59.680 that they have aborted are still waiting on them and it does seem like wow that's almost a way to

00:22:06.360 try to justify and heal yourself it is because we know in our spirit we know in our hearts

00:22:13.740 that they really were they really are real they're they're our children you know from time

00:22:19.960 beginning beginning women when they got pregnant I'm having a baby and they first found out right

00:22:24.880 I'm having you know and so I read those and I was in a really dark place then with no friends and

00:22:30.600 anything. We moved to North Carolina after that, and he was discharged. My problems really didn't

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00:25:11.960 code Allie. Moving to North Carolina was like a breath of fresh air, though. We were near my

00:25:23.680 parents, and when we went back to their place, it was like all of a sudden I realized more of how

00:25:32.540 I had been in such a dark place. I still wanted the marriage to work, but I wanted something

00:25:39.440 different and um i got pregnant at my parents home and that time i stood up for my child

00:25:48.720 okay and refused to have he didn't ask me to have one and so i was determined that i was not going

00:25:56.780 to be that slave anymore that person anymore he had a he was getting a master's degree he had

00:26:03.040 gotten a master's degree in alaska and i thought now our lives are going to change we're going to

00:26:09.060 be part of this family that we're in you know and i will be able to get a home maybe and i have these

00:26:15.060 you know hopes and dreams and all along he wasn't any different there wasn't any hope and so it

00:26:22.480 didn't change and when we uh stayed with my parents i was got pregnant when we were staying

00:26:28.200 with them until we moved and found a place and we moved to a little town um oh about 100 miles away

00:26:34.640 maybe and I was trying to make things work and he was you know partying with friends at work

00:26:43.300 still yeah it wasn't it didn't change we had the baby girl she was beautiful and I had always

00:26:52.680 wanted to have a girl too and all along I kept deceiving myself you know you say women keep

00:26:59.040 telling themselves this can work out and back then it was harder to i mean you just didn't

00:27:05.540 divorce it was the last thing you wanted to do you know no one had divorced in my family

00:27:10.360 and so i was really um still hopeful and um so when the marriage finally ended that's when i

00:27:19.160 went to the psychiatric ward is during that really low time after i'd had two children okay

00:27:25.920 You had had the miscarriage first, then you had your son, then you had the two abortions in Alaska.

00:27:33.400 You moved to North Carolina.

00:27:34.940 You had your baby girl.

00:27:36.920 And it was after that that you got a divorce, right?

00:27:41.820 You left your husband.

00:27:43.340 Well, we had the baby girl, and we did get the divorce.

00:27:46.280 I was in the psychiatric ward before we got the divorce.

00:27:49.000 Okay, so after you had your baby girl, was it your choice to go to the psychiatric ward?

00:27:55.560 No, it wasn't. I had been getting counseling because things were not working, and it was not counseling about abortion and my problems personally.

00:28:07.300 Instead, I was still trying to make what was wrong that I could make this work.

00:28:11.360 That's how I look back, and I'm thinking, goodness, why didn't I leave? Why didn't I do this? Why did I stay?

00:28:18.600 and um at that time in my life that's where I was I wanted to have that family and keep that

00:28:27.800 home together yeah so I had ended up in a place where I had that darkest secret

00:28:33.480 it was so dark that I just pushed it way down I couldn't I I never thought about it I really

00:28:41.920 didn't I couldn't and um I was left you know here I was a college graduate and we had never

00:28:50.400 been successful financially uh because we weren't following God later on I realized you know that's

00:28:57.660 uh that's where you were you know and um so I wanted to get back with the Lord at that time

00:29:06.820 and wanted to take my children to church, too.

00:29:11.100 And I had tried to do that before we divorced.

00:29:14.540 And he hadn't gone with me.

00:29:16.740 So when I was pregnant with my daughter there in North Carolina,

00:29:21.060 I actually took the children to church or took my son to church

00:29:28.920 with being pregnant and wanted to take the children

00:29:34.220 and just have them raised in church.

00:29:36.820 But they had never been in church before. 1.00

00:29:40.380 And so it was hard for a single mom.

00:29:43.140 And sometimes I wonder, what did that church think at that time, this traditional church?

00:29:47.900 Here I was, a single mom, not a single mom, but a mother without a husband coming to church.

00:29:53.420 That would have been very unusual.

00:29:55.260 It was pregnant with one child.

00:29:57.940 And so when the divorce happened, I had two children to raise. 0.60

00:30:02.180 At some point, you did have another abortion.

00:30:04.480 Is that correct?

00:30:05.260 oh i guess i totally skipped that yeah i had the abortion right before the divorce

00:30:10.700 okay yeah when i had the two children okay and that was at the end right yes that was um

00:30:20.180 just the final thing just it's over there's no hope there's absolutely no hope

00:30:28.540 and after all of that and as you're trying to live this normal life you're going back to church

00:30:36.060 you still were carrying that secret that you had had these three oh yes i wouldn't have told anyone

00:30:43.240 yeah and i never really it was pushed down it was denied i don't know i just thought in my mind that

00:30:50.180 i couldn't think about it right i really couldn't think about it i was in total denial

00:30:55.480 and thinking if I lived the right life maybe again it would be okay you know but I did want

00:31:03.720 I did want to know to be back with God and back with the Lord and that was um one of the

00:31:11.520 when I became more hopeful for that and actually God um protected me through so much and kept me

00:31:20.740 from being kept me from meeting someone who would have done the same thing to me you know who would

00:31:27.840 have been the same kind of abuser and and many women fall into that and you did meet your current

00:31:34.640 husband whom you have been married to for 44 years now i did yes years later and he's a big part of

00:31:43.040 your story and bringing these things a big part he is a really big part because i knew god had put

00:31:49.640 us together when it happened and i was going to church some of my parents and the way they met

00:31:59.020 was through my dad here i am 38 years old and this businessman had a business meeting with my dad

00:32:06.240 and neither one of them planned this it was absolutely totally sovereignly done by god

00:32:13.160 it really was um i couldn't have planned it i couldn't meet anybody i was i think i'd gone

00:32:20.720 on a dating group into a dating group once and it didn't work out yeah okay but god worked it out

00:32:27.280 and he brought this man to a very wounded woman at that time when i met vernon and he came into my

00:32:34.580 life um he met my dad and liked him so much that when dad mentioned he had a daughter

00:32:42.020 he had been divorced himself for six years or seven and i had been divorced for six years

00:32:49.620 and he thought he would never meet a woman he wanted to marry again he said he got down on

00:32:54.840 his knees and prayed actually and lord if you want me to be single for the rest of my life

00:32:59.260 then i will be okay yeah and um so i had just really wasn't looking either but god brought

00:33:08.560 him into my life that way and I was finally able to believe that I could have a normal life and

00:33:16.000 get back and my children would have a dad you know and this man said he loved me but at that point I

00:33:22.960 think it was very hard for me to have the feelings that I have now and had later because 0.95

00:33:30.300 when women have abortions their natural love for their children has to be squelched

00:33:37.900 you cannot you cannot go have an abortion and being you know and loving your child 0.86

00:33:44.360 I mean unless I'm sure there are a lot of women who go very anyway I had to squelch my feelings

00:33:53.880 to have those abortions and all these feelings that were locked up for for years toward a man

00:34:02.220 and trust that God was leading me to someone

00:34:07.740 who really would love me and loved me.

00:34:11.960 And he loved my children.

00:34:13.880 And I was very fortunate 0.99

00:34:16.640 because many single women are victims to predators. 1.00

00:34:24.280 Right.

00:34:25.560 Yeah, and I wasn't.

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00:36:07.140 You told him, you told Vernon about your abortions.

00:36:11.580 And can you tell us what that was like, finally bringing that to light?

00:36:15.440 Okay, I did not tell him until after we were married.

00:36:18.680 Okay.

00:36:19.980 And so that was over a year later.

00:36:22.420 And that was a very emotional time.

00:36:26.740 I knew that I had to tell him.

00:36:28.320 I was in church every Sunday, and my conscience started probably bothering me.

00:36:33.700 I mean, I wanted him to love me and know me.

00:36:38.840 And I hadn't told him, but somehow I thought it wasn't, at the time, wasn't something, you know, I wasn't, I didn't feel like I was intentionally trying to deceive him.

00:36:49.760 But I certainly didn't let him see that part of me before we married.

00:36:53.560 and I had to ask his forgiveness for that you know later but when it came out I thought I have

00:37:02.560 to tell him and so that day he was coming home from work and he was you know had this job that

00:37:08.420 he was we're really proud of him and he was a manager for this big company and he was doing so

00:37:14.940 well and so he came home and I said I've got to tell him you just felt convicted I did he was

00:37:23.200 shocked and he really said something that i don't know if i'll even tell this on here that

00:37:27.280 just really was um he was so shocked the first thing that came out was something that he didn't

00:37:36.700 mean in his heart but he said i'm i'm just i don't know if i love you and i was like what

00:37:42.900 i thought he didn't get angry really he was just in shock and he said something he was later

00:37:50.700 just ask my forgiveness for later on but at the time I thought you know we can work this out he

00:38:00.700 doesn't mean it but I didn't go into the I didn't become outwardly open with abortion at all that

00:38:08.520 time at that time but God opened a door and it turned out good that scripture you know in Romans

00:38:17.160 say 28 is the one that we all you know can say god i'm depending on you can you work this out

00:38:24.400 so talk about that talk about what it was like when it happened that you really did fully surrender

00:38:32.140 to the lord you surrendered your story your past to him and really started that relationship with

00:38:39.720 christ right wow okay so that was for me like i believe when i married vernon that i my heart

00:38:50.240 wanted to be back with god and that that marked the beginning of a of a long journey of a lot of

00:38:58.860 things that god had to continue bringing me into more light and we're saying you know this process

00:39:05.140 of sanctification begins, and He begins showing me things and showing me things. And yes, in my

00:39:12.500 heart, of course, I'd repented, but I had asked God for forgiveness personally, but I wasn't healed

00:39:21.560 really. We ended up moving to Colorado. There's a healing process that began in Colorado when we

00:39:30.440 were going to the church. And yes, I was teaching Sunday school and everything. But the real big

00:39:38.000 moment of salvation that, and everything happened suddenly, to me, it's been more of an awareness

00:39:49.020 of God's presence and a personal relationship. Once I committed to Vernon, God didn't give up

00:39:57.040 on me and brought me into that place of finally having that personal relationship with him

00:40:04.520 in Colorado, more so.

00:40:07.560 When I was a little girl and went up to the altar at 12 years old, I don't think I understood

00:40:12.780 what I was doing that much, except I knew I needed Jesus.

00:40:17.240 And so in that church back there, I had no teaching about what happens then.

00:40:27.040 what happens at that time am i just suddenly okay and i'm now a christian i'm a believer

00:40:33.020 but i knew inside i wasn't i still have those tendencies so in some way i thought maybe i

00:40:38.700 didn't get it you know and um i think for people that um uh don't understand we have to have a

00:40:48.460 teaching too with understanding what you're doing and understanding what god's going to do now

00:40:55.540 you know what's he going to do with you now well he's going to be changing you for a long time

00:41:01.500 into his image and for me it was a big work that's all i can say but i know that i love the

00:41:09.880 lord from an early age uh i got sidetracked and i came back to him when vernon came into my life

00:41:16.420 and um i still had all of that stuff that that was you know that had to overcome so much

00:41:27.240 and women who have abortions have such a hard time believing they can even be loved

00:41:31.760 and that god can love them and forgive them but he can and he's waiting for us and we have to begin

00:41:38.980 we have to make a step toward him, a faith.

00:41:44.280 And so I know the commitment came back when Vernon and I were married.

00:41:53.080 And when I began speaking out about abortion was after my husband and I had,

00:41:59.260 Vernon and I had a crisis.

00:42:03.140 And what was that crisis?

00:42:04.700 Well, after all the years of God blessing us with blessings, a new home, okay, a car, my kids marrying, and they moved to Colorado, and a church, a really good, that actually, yeah, and that fell apart.

00:42:31.080 Something fell apart in our lives.

00:42:33.000 the little church that i'd gone to there that i had been led back to my personal relationship with

00:42:42.360 god you know praying and believing for healing the pastors got divorced and the church closed

00:42:52.220 after we'd been there oh 10 years maybe and i got shaken up at that time and uh really without

00:43:03.480 a lot of guidance from the lord and the people that had been in our lives were gone

00:43:09.880 um i did something i can't even believe i did today you know yeah i actually filed divorce on

00:43:17.080 burning and i think it was that old feminist thing maybe trying to resurface thinking i can

00:43:25.540 i can just go along then this is you know really been i can't believe all this happened but what

00:43:32.200 it was is i had never really come out with the abortions either i had never gone i hadn't gone

00:43:38.600 through the healing as far as going through uh even though i had scriptures even though i knew

00:43:45.460 the lord um i believe i needed to confess that to a pastor to someone i tried to do it it hadn't

00:43:56.280 really and so we had a pastor at that time after the church fell apart we had another one

00:44:01.860 and i quoted this in my book and he was a tough love pastor and he was for covenant marriage

00:44:10.300 And he shook. I actually submitted at that time to counseling with him and Vernon, who prayed for me.

00:44:19.200 He said, the devil's not going to have my marriage. And he stood.

00:44:23.880 So I counseled and repented of divorce, which is a sin or was a sin for me.

00:44:33.500 And almost went down the same path as my pastor's wife who left, you know, her husband, the one that had been my mentor.

00:44:40.300 mm-hmm and at that time began to speak out repented openly to my pastor of abortion even

00:44:51.120 though I had repented in my heart I needed to say something out loud I needed to say this is where

00:44:57.640 I've come out of this is what I've done and I'm going to start talking about it yeah and I started

00:45:05.120 writing and i started that's how you started to change i really believe that i and every abortion

00:45:11.720 is influenced demonically okay because god it's against god it's against everything that god

00:45:18.820 stands for and that wants for us and no one wants that more than the enemy of our soul he goes at

00:45:24.300 the children before they're born and then he and the women to deceive us and so coming out of that

00:45:31.780 was believing the truth in place of the lies that i had believed and the word of god right and then

00:45:38.640 some i believe worse than others as far as the demonic i believe when you take a stand against

00:45:45.080 it verbally outwardly and you begin to double down on that and say yes abortion is right or

00:45:51.480 or do horrible things like wearing the t-shirts with you know i'm glad i did this like 1.00

00:45:56.800 feminists are doing today that I don't know how far a person can go into that

00:46:03.140 that's too far but I just praise the Lord and thank him that I got delivered out of the lies 1.00

00:46:09.720 I believe. Next sponsor is Patriot Mobile. The midterms are coming up you might be thinking okay

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00:47:32.320 slash Allie, code Allie. You know, it says in Revelations 12, 11, it became my, my, it became

00:47:44.300 my scripture. It says, we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. And we

00:47:50.480 love not our lives into death and I really believe I'm walking that today because I could not have

00:47:58.400 ever come out with this early and I've been nervous about it at first you know this is a big

00:48:02.540 step even here but God's been with me during this time all the way and as I began to speak out and

00:48:13.060 that little girl who was the one that would stand up in front of a group and perform you know in

00:48:18.540 that church in my childhood church uh god uses our personality that he gave us in his kingdom too

00:48:27.560 that was used for evil turns to good doesn't he and so um vernon and i came together after all

00:48:36.280 those years um i don't say we were apart but i wasn't ready and i don't think he was ready to

00:48:43.260 stand out of right now and be the husband that stood beside me as I'm giving this testimony

00:48:50.780 we weren't there suddenly you know this took a lot of time and a lot of work and prayer and

00:48:58.340 um just um searching for that place in Jesus and in my marriage that God had already ordained for

00:49:09.260 me i didn't still didn't quite understand who he had made me as a wife and a mother and uh during

00:49:19.020 writing this book even it was like eye-opening in seeing that seeing more clearly you know we can

00:49:26.040 see more clearly as we get more of the word and more understanding and to see that this wonderful

00:49:32.180 place that he's made for women as a wife and mother is not I came coming out totally out of

00:49:39.980 feminism and understanding that God's plan was so much more powerful if they were looking for power

00:49:47.160 had so much authority and they were looking for authority but it also required you know 1.00

00:49:54.100 that we give our lives that we submit which was a dirty word for feminists but i loved how my 1.00

00:50:03.040 pastor's wife erin um sorry lauren lauren dome uh described this one time you know as being in a

00:50:12.940 mission together in the kingdom and being back when jesus restored us back to the garden i mean

00:50:19.900 back to the original intent you know no it's not perfect like it was then but he's given us

00:50:27.280 the power and the authority to overcome an enemy the enemy that deceived me and has deceived women

00:50:35.620 and men and is still deceiving them and the lies that I believed and so now I think it's so

00:50:44.080 wonderful that that women need to know and i needed to know really and vernon needed to know

00:50:51.460 we were traditional we came from those you know the 40s the 50s that we were a powerful partner

00:50:59.540 in this relationship that indescribable partner i mean in not indescribable maybe but that you know

00:51:07.120 the one that couldn't that the man needed to fulfill the mission god had given so we're coming

00:51:13.600 into um we're submitting to a mission we're coming under submission of uh the kingdom of god

00:51:22.460 when you're in a christian marriage you know and god can bring that together i mean you're this

00:51:28.780 beautiful young christian woman and you know i can see that there are women you know coming forward

00:51:35.880 But women need to know their value in Christ and that they were never meant to be slaves.

00:51:43.560 And they were meant to raise and love those children with a godly man who really wanted to protect them.

00:51:51.900 And God had put in those men something wonderful.

00:51:55.380 He put something that would give their own lives for us,

00:51:59.500 that will work themselves to death with more than one job if they have to to provide for a family

00:52:08.060 and that want to be godly leaders and guess what god said to respect them for that yeah okay that's

00:52:15.660 not a bad thing is it when you when you have a man that would die for you and what do you say

00:52:22.220 to the woman who's listening to this maybe it's the christian woman or the woman who's skeptical

00:52:26.640 people who are saying okay candy yeah that's what i want but maybe they're saying my marriage is 0.55

00:52:31.620 more like your first marriage and you know for those women the message of feminism is very

00:52:39.320 appealing yes and not even in just an abusive marriage but especially on social media today 0.97

00:52:44.220 there's a lot of content out there that encourages discontentment with wives oh if your husband's

00:52:49.800 not helping you enough if he's saying this not doing this and there's this very like resentful

00:52:56.060 kind of attitude about husbands and marriage among women on social media. And some of those

00:53:03.160 women might be thinking, well, feminism is the answer for me to be liberated. What would you say 1.00

00:53:08.440 to them? Well, are they Christians or are they not Christians? I mean, these women that you're

00:53:15.620 hearing. It sounds like they don't know the Lord. It sounds like they're still trying to maneuver

00:53:22.720 their lives themselves, that they are in that place I was in, which is a very hard place to be

00:53:32.640 in because you're trying to do that with your own. You're trying to figure it all out without

00:53:40.240 God's Word. And I really believe that God's Word has the only answer for every problem today

00:53:47.400 and his spirit you're not going to be able to submit to anyone unless you have help because

00:53:55.420 that's not our nature so if you're living with the old nature that we had from the fall which

00:54:02.740 is real okay believe it or not but i believe eve was the first woman feminist after she walked out

00:54:09.900 from under her covering she walked out from under god's wonderful word and his presence

00:54:17.400 She walked out from a husband who loved her, and then he followed her.

00:54:21.300 And that just really bugged me that we know that Adam didn't stand up at that time.

00:54:28.740 But men are not.

00:54:30.460 Men are just—and when you've got a man and a woman trying to work it out together without Jesus Christ as their Savior, okay, so that's, to me, the only answer is you don't have the—you can't do it in your flesh.

00:54:43.620 You're not going to make this in your flesh.

00:54:45.640 and they think well how do i do that it's really simple just repent of living your life as you've

00:54:51.700 lived it alone without him and if you're a christian woman who's in a christian marriage

00:54:58.460 and it's not working it seems like that you can be that great influence you know women want to be

00:55:03.280 influencers today okay we're all wanting to be an influencer influence what jesus has in the word he

00:55:10.180 Yes, everything you need to know about being that greatest influence to your husband.

00:55:16.440 Okay, wives, you know, do this, you know, wives, and also love the Lord first.

00:55:24.940 Love him and be that woman in there, whether the husband, and be that influence on him.

00:55:32.840 It's not bad to be the one that, you know, carries.

00:55:37.760 You want to be strong?

00:55:38.720 That's a strong woman.

00:55:40.180 I know one now that's living with the man who's not saved.

00:55:44.820 And she has a beautiful home and garden and sees her children all the time.

00:55:49.480 But he didn't want her to have the Bible study in his home.

00:55:54.400 And he doesn't go to church with her.

00:55:57.120 But he loves her.

00:55:58.900 But I will say this, he doesn't love her as Christ loves her.

00:56:03.440 But it says that with the quiet and gentle voice, with that,

00:56:07.980 I've never been quiet and gentle, have I?

00:56:10.180 My husband will agree.

00:56:11.920 No, that quiet and gentle woman who is there.

00:56:17.620 And men have a hard time rejecting the respect and honor they don't deserve.

00:56:23.780 None of us deserve that.

00:56:25.980 I didn't deserve what Jesus gave to me.

00:56:28.660 So to these women who are still out there trying to do it all on their own and being that woman who's a successful woman in the world's eyes, okay, there's a woman that's not out there sometimes getting all the glory, and she's that woman that's standing behind that man and keeping that family together and trusting God to speak to him.

00:56:55.140 Because I will tell you, in that case, a woman has more power than you can ever imagine.

00:57:01.400 Because when you're in a covenant with God, he's going to come through.

00:57:07.360 And he'll do something to bring that man to God.

00:57:12.620 You've got to have faith and know what God can do.

00:57:16.520 And I'm just seeing in my life now how he even saved me.

00:57:20.600 because I've gone through a lot of things

00:57:23.920 where I could have, you know, given up and we couldn't.

00:57:27.340 But he's the only one I can give credit to.

00:57:29.600 And my husband who kept loving me

00:57:32.140 and has forgiven me like God does.

00:57:40.000 Last sponsor is Preborn.

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00:59:04.160 and just as a final message there could be someone listening who has had abortions

00:59:16.220 but she doesn't know how to bring that shame into the light maybe she's feeling that conviction but

00:59:23.620 she's like you don't understand no one can know yeah what do you say to her wow no one

00:59:30.080 And okay, she is feeling that shame that people are going to condemn her, that if anybody finds out, I mean, they're going to, they just can't know.

00:59:43.740 There are people and there are places that you can go.

00:59:48.140 I do believe that if you have a desire to be healed, that you need to be able to trust someone to talk to.

01:00:00.080 And someone who will not condemn you, someone who will lead you and be that person that you can trust with this story.

01:00:09.360 Because inside, this story is not going to get better by just keeping it inside.

01:00:14.300 In fact, the enemy is going to use it on you more and more because he's going to bring other things against you.

01:00:20.540 When you get older, you can't live with that inside without somehow getting relief.

01:00:27.820 And, you know, the body of Christ is supposed to be that place that you can go.

01:00:33.440 You can go and no condemnation in Christ.

01:00:36.560 Okay, there's even now no condemnation in Christ Jesus.

01:00:41.000 He doesn't condemn you, and the body of Christ should not be condemning you.

01:00:44.720 And I found in the body of Christ, even though it wasn't perfect at all times,

01:00:50.520 I found that there were people who would love me.

01:00:52.860 And I found it in Oklahoma, Berna and I have been led to this church, that if they didn't accept my testimony, I couldn't stay there, okay?

01:01:03.440 Because I know what I believe, and God has told me it's true, that I need to live that life without condemnation.

01:01:11.520 They're going to have that condemnation and shame themselves the rest of their lives, and it doesn't get better.

01:01:17.120 So you need to tell someone.

01:01:19.540 You need to get that out and deal with it.

01:01:22.860 and let God be the one that heals you and tells you who you really are.

01:01:28.460 You know, we're worried about identity.

01:01:30.040 That's your identity.

01:01:31.320 Your identity is in Christ if you're a Christian.

01:01:34.080 If you're not and you had an abortion, okay, you need to go to Christ and be Christian. 0.97

01:01:39.760 You need to change. 0.89

01:01:41.920 Okay, it's not working.

01:01:43.040 Is that working?

01:01:43.740 No.

01:01:44.600 Okay, it does work with God.

01:01:45.980 And you can go in that direction, and then you can find people

01:01:50.800 who will walk that out with you and love you and here you you know is i could go on a lot you know

01:01:58.200 that i guess i've gone on too much no it's so good thank you so much and if people want to hear more

01:02:04.600 about this and more about this message they can read your book yeah feminine not feminist they

01:02:09.640 can follow you also on social media and you have how many kids and grandkids now okay well between

01:02:18.300 my husband and I none together but between the two of us we have six children I have four in

01:02:25.420 heaven waiting for me and we have of course the grandchildren we have now 11 grandchildren

01:02:34.000 I have one in heaven a grandson that was killed by a drunk driver and uh he's there okay and so

01:02:43.980 are the others and then the great-grandchildren okay we have one on the way and it's number nine

01:02:49.280 wow uh-huh and congratulations god's still working on me he's still working on this family

01:02:54.580 he's still working and you know he's doing some great things and i'm i'm amazed yes amen well

01:03:01.500 thank you so much for your courage and your obedience and sharing your story and i just

01:03:06.000 pray that it goes far and wide and that god uses it thank you so much thank you so much bless you

01:03:13.980 We'll be right back.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - October 02, 2026

Ep 1403 ｜ 1960s Feminist Was Brainwashed Into 3 Abortions. Now She Knows The Truth ｜ Candy Thompson

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