A MEDAL AND A MAN Ft. Ilona Maher
Summary
In this episode of the comment section, I sit down with Olympic Gold Medalist, Olympian, and all-around badass, Ilona Mar, to talk about how she got her start in the sport of rugby, how she became a professional athlete, and how she uses her experience as a female athlete to get things done.
Transcript
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Typically when I put names into stuff, my boyfriend does it or my sister or someone else.
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They said it was going to be like a four hour wait.
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And I was like, damn, all right, we'll probably have to go somewhere else.
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Girl, I got to the front of that line in 10 minutes.
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And then that girl was like, oh, I can teach you guys now.
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But it's also important sometimes to use it for the greater good of yourself.
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The least I can get is cut the line at the Caesars Palace Cafe.
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Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me, your fave.
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Today we have the iconic, the legendary, the athletic as hell, Ilona Mar.
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But I am trying to make it a mission this summer to have more female athletes on my show.
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As you should, because they're really killing it right now.
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I think we've connected over some things online.
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I think we have some of the same viewpoints, crossovers.
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Before we started, I asked Ilona, what are you doing?
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She goes, oh, I just went to play in a tournament.
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It's so crazy because I spend my days around Olympians, so it just doesn't seem like a
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But I will say I use that title to get me things.
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People love it when they learn you're an Olympian.
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They think it's the coolest thing in the world.
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I feel like Olympian, like being an Olympian is such a small subset.
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I feel like the Olympics are one of the few things that make me go like, rah, America.
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When I'm at the Olympics, I'm so proud to be an American.
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But then once you're there, you're like, we are it.
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But what's crazy about America, too, is we're so focused on the Olympics.
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Like for us, it's get a medal at the Olympics or you suck.
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So rugby is one of those where it's kind of a niche sport.
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I would play like feel like you basketball, softball, then decided to try out rugby senior
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And I kind of say it just fit my body like a glove.
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I tried it out and just immediately it worked for me.
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And I think I was always I've always played these sports where you were kind of told to
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tone it down or pulled back and feel like my coach was a little story of me like trying
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And so to find rugby, a sport like that, that actually praised my my body, my size and to
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find a community of people who really loved it.
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I mean, it was just it changed my life and changed me for the better.
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And I've been playing now for 10 years rugby, but I've been playing on the USA team for
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I went to Quinnipiac University in Connecticut.
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And did nursing there as well, because I wasn't no one.
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I don't think many female athletes ever think like, oh, yeah, I'm going to make a career
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And it's not like you're going to go to the NFL and retire with millions.
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So you just have to almost think of a backup plan.
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And then it just worked out that rugby clicked and it kept working and I kept, you know, striving.
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And I think it was like, well, being a nurse is a different kind of hard.
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You're doing two very nearly impossible things at the same time.
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I found like, have you heard of like the butterfly effect thing?
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It just feels like my butterfly effect of like just making one change to try out rugby and
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then my whole life is different and now I'm on this show, you know?
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When I was a kid, I, well, I grew up playing sports too.
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I played soccer my whole life, which looking at me, they're like, really?
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Because they're like basketball, volleyball, right?
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Volleyball I did love, but I didn't play till high school.
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I was like on a real path, but then I tore everything in my left knee my freshman year
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Because like when that happened, I was like, damn, I don't think I could play this forever.
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And I think I am a classic Leo is what I've been told.
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I don't know what it means, but I know a couple.
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When I tore everything in my knee and I started like thinking, what am I going to do after
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I decided to do like journalism, like sports broadcasting, got fired from the NFL.
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Now I wonder like, how did you get your personality?
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And cause that's my thing too, is I have such a personality.
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Like for me, I like to say, and it's probably for you, but like I grew up kind of the bigger
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And so I had to develop like a sense of humor and that was like how I became this.
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So people are just like always question how I am like this on TikTok.
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It's, it's, it's a very interesting like comment to get.
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Cause I know like exactly what you're talking about when they're like, oh, like how did you
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God, I guess the universe, whatever you believe in.
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No, I've been, I've been a mean bitch for a long time.
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Do you know, like how heavy you were when you were born?
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So like, and I had a big ass head and then I remember I, good luck to your mom.
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Cause my mom is so teeny tiny and my dad, my dad's six, six.
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Cause my sister was the only one who came out normal size.
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Like she was like seven pounds or like eight pounds or something.
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And my sister's the shortest out of the three of us.
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So I guess that pans out, but your sisters are tall too.
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So I'm actually the shortest out of my sisters.
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But they're like five, 11 or something like that.
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And I, I actually do think I loved coffee from an early age.
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You know, that myth that coffee makes you shorter.
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But I, so I think that genuinely coffee might've made me short.
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I guess it worked out, but they're, they're athletic too.
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And cause they, they did like softball and shot put, whatever.
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And I was the one who like, Olivia was done softball.
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My sister played rugby too, which you already know.
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But, uh, uh, we did shot put my sister senior year, my junior year, because my mom was always
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And then she was like, you need something in the spring.
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And then I was like, well, I'm not fucking running.
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Cause I run all the time playing my other sports.
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So we did shot put in discus and we both made varsity.
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And then, uh, our coach used to, he literally would separate us.
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Cause we were both on varsity and we'd both like obviously stand together and, you know,
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And then he's like, one time he was literally like the two of you are being separated.
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My younger sister is like, so she just does whatever she wants.
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Olivia and I were like, whatever, whatever you want, dad.
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You want us to go to softball pitching clinics on a Sunday morning?
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Whereas John was like, that doesn't sound like for me.
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She said that doesn't sound like my journey personally.
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And I'm like, John also was like the only one of us who would
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Like, I don't think people realize Olivia and I were socially awkward.
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We grew up, I graduated in a class of nine from middle school.
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I think she once filled a vodka bottle with like some water or something.
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I don't know if she's okay with sharing that story.
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Because my little brother gets away with everything too.
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We were very much like soldiers, like following orders.
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I, um, when I was in high school and we were throwing and stuff, I remember like we used
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to dick around all the time and our coach used to be like, you know, if you just take
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it a little bit serious, like my sister got a scholarship to like a D3 school, I think
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because she only threw for like four months and they were like, we need her on the team
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because she, uh, I think she set a record in our high school and I think it's still there
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I'm actually on that list too, by the way, if anyone wants to look it up, don't, it's
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But, um, my sister got a, a, a scholarship offer and she was like, nah, cause she already
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got to the, got into the university of Oregon and that's where she started playing rugby.
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I was like, I hate, I physically like, or me personally, I hate being touched by like anybody
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really, uh, outside of like, especially strangers.
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So I was like, there was a lot of touching, a lot of touching your rugby, your clothes,
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How was it when you were learning how to play rugby?
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Well, like difficult compared to the other sports you played?
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I've always had like a mind of an athlete, I guess I could always pick up and probably
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you like, you, you go, go to a sports, but like, okay, I kind of understand the little
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And even when I play sports now, I just don't understand people who don't get sports.
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Like even playing, what's a spike ball that I'm like, you, this your first time, you know,
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That's me and my sister when we play volleyball.
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But then if you start doing bad, I'm like, okay, well, why don't you sit down and you
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I genuinely like cannot do things that are competitive.
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I'm like, well, what do we play volleyball with like just narps, you know what you call
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And my boyfriend too is actually, cause my boyfriend played football for a really long
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Played college football and he's very competitive too.
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So there are certain things like they're not allowed, like you're not allowed to play
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Sometimes one time someone asked me in a thing in a Q and a on Instagram, they were
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like, if you had to play dodgeball against men, like who would you want to add on your
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He, the way his prey drive gets activated during dodgeball.
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No, it's just like, it's the, it's the, it's literally just the opportunity to throw a
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projectile at someone is like his favorite thing in the world.
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It's just like pure joy, which is honestly kind of scary, isn't it?
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But I think that's, I think that's cool that you're honest about your, maybe I shouldn't
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Well, it's like, first off, you're in such a competitive environment in your sport.
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You just don't want to bring into other things you do.
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And I just, this growing need to win the, the teammates.
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And I'm like, this, these game rights are for connection.
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So now I've had to actually, I'm, it's a genuine problem with my team with game nights.
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I can't do game nights or I just, I have to sit in the corner.
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I have to just be the helper now because I just can't put up with it.
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And I go there when we're doing like scavengers and I'm like, you did it.
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Like my mom almost killed me once when we were go-karting.
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So we're not allowed to go-kart as a family anymore.
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Cause my mom literally almost killed me like on purpose.
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And then she tells me now, like to this day, like even now she's like, it was an accident.
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Like she just can't, she just can't, like she can't help it.
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And even, even sometimes my mom will be like, I can't play that.
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So you gotta know for your own like mental health.
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I think maybe, I think you're right though about you continuously being an athlete, like
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Cause I stopped being an athlete a long time ago.
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But even then, like it still flares up in me sometimes.
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Oh, and some people who don't, cause I have the outlet.
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When they're playing their adult leagues, they're going crazy with kickball.
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When I first started dating my boyfriend, he was in an adult softball league.
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I think I truly think, and I'm trying to get my sister into it.
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Like you guys should try one of those adult leagues.
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And so I might try a run club just cause of that.
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And it's fun also talking about the Olympian title.
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Cause you walk to a run club and you're like, you guys just, you just here to run?
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That's, I think the only reason I would do the sports later on is maybe to pull out the
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I'd come in my uniform to Duncan and I'd be like, Oh, you'll give them free coffee, but
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We went to Cabo after the last Olympics and we went to this bar.
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It's like a bar called Squid Row that everybody goes to.
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But after the Tokyo Olympics, they had Olympic rings everywhere.
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And I was like, sir, I just went to the Olympics.
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Even sometimes it's like me being like a dickhead online.
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Whenever I meet people that are like fans of my content, I'm like, that's so great.
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How come nobody's ever fans of me when I want to like skip a line?
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I don't know if you figure this out, but I really thought I would get like more like
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Like getting, I'm not even famous, but like slightly famous.
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I was like, hopefully these chefs want me to come to restaurants and try their food for
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I'm that's, I think that would be like the epitome of fame is just like coming in.
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Oh, I don't want any other, any other reason for fame, but just like a free appetizer.
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Oh, you know, what's so funny is that's when I feel the power of the platform too.
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Cause I, I went to the, you know, have you ever been to the Caesars Palace buffet in Vegas?
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I went one, the first time I ever went, I like went, um, I was in Vegas for like work
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stuff and I went with my sister, my boyfriend and our cousin Adam and we went super late
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and you're supposed to have a reservation for like fucking, I don't even know, like weeks
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And so I went and I put my, typically when I put names into stuff, I, my boyfriend does
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it or my sister or someone else outside of me, or I use my middle name or something.
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But I put my first and last name and my boyfriend's like, are you putting your name in there?
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And I was like, there's a lot of workers in there.
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Odds are one of those women is going to know me.
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And then they said it was going to be like a four hour wait.
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Girl, I got to the front of that line in 10 minutes.
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And then that girl was like, oh, I can teach you guys now.
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And I was like, I know that's fucking right, girl.
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It's important to stay humble, but it's also important sometimes to use it for the greater
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The least I can get is cut the line at the Caesars Palace Buffet.
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You know, that reminds me of some of your content.
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I remember that was like taking off was when you, I think it was when you were at the Olympics
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in Tokyo, when you were talking about the Olympic village, living in the Olympic village.
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And you were also talking about trying to find a boyfriend while you were there.
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But that's what I remember when your content was like really going everywhere.
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Well, I just, I almost feel like it was a business mindset.
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People love seeing single people do things and they loved the idea that these hot athletes
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And they're pent up with so much sexual frustration and they're all hot and these cardboard beds
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So I was like, there's something to be done here.
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And so I just made some TikToks about it and got known as like the Thirsty Olympian.
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I was like, okay, well, that's a mean nickname to give me.
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I like, well, I wanted to flirt with one Romanian volleyball player.
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The hottest people are in the, the hottest, fittest people in the world there.
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So I am excited to hopefully go to Paris and be actually.
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Why don't they teach you guys like you're at summer camp?
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But I don't think you're allowed to go into like USA.
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So I'm actually excited to just like get to meet these other Olympians and experience full Olympics.
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There's different like houses you can go to and party at.
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But at the last Tokyo, it was like, all right, you just lost your dreams.
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So I'm hoping to actually get to experience an Olympics.
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I have one story with an Olympian and everyone on here is gonna be like, you tell that story.
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But anyways, I met an Olympian once when I was in college at a bar and he was, and the
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only reason I knew he was an Olympian was because he told me, but it was like two guys
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and they were hitting on me and my friend, which of course you're going, Oh my God, that's
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And so they bought me my friend's drinks and then we were drinking and they were telling
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They were like, Oh, we're on vacation right before training for the Olympics.
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And we were like, okay, the tallest man I've ever seen in my fucking life.
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The way they were built, like the iron giant is crazy.
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And they, the like, you know, they're, they're so like, it's like a triangle and then their
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A little, a little spooky, but I was listening obviously because of the free drinks.
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And then he was like, I was, when he told us he was, they were Olympians.
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He was like, well, I've only meddled at bronze, but like, he's won like several golds.
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And I was like, well, I could just say things too.
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I could also stand here and tell you I'm on the Olympian.
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And, uh, they were so upset that I was like, not believing them that the guy Googled himself
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in the, in the club while we were in there on Wikipedia and was showing me pictures of
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Well, and then, and then you never talked to them again.
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Then I was like, well, I have to go to the bathroom.
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He's a terrible person, but actually I hope you're doing poorly.
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I just, I just wear a little, uh, necklace here.
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Um, the Olympics was a crazy time in that I lost the quarterfinals, put it all on myself.
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Um, and then it's a, there's something called like post Olympic blues where that Michael
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Phelps has a documentary about it, but you get very sad cause it's like this one moment
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you've prepared for your whole life and it's amazing.
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And then if you, even if you don't medal, if you do medal it, like you come crashing down,
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Maybe in four years you can get it, do it again.
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And even now I'm so stressed out thinking about the next, this Olympics coming up because
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We want to medal for our country, for our team.
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So it's like psyching yourself up to be heartbroken, um, and to do that all over again.
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And I don't want to do it again, but like have that, that pure devastation that I felt.
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But then also it's just that trade off of, you know, what you get to do.
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So it's like, it's part of your fiber at this point.
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Uh, it's, it's so hard, but then you also become like such a, I think better athlete, better
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I'm curious how your athletic career has like intersected with online.
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Cause obviously you have a large online presence now too, because of your content as being an
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So like, what was that like when you first started documenting your journey as an athlete?
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Yeah, I think, well, as we're talking about, I just have maybe the personality for it and
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But I started before the Olympics and, um, I remember I was just doing some videos in when
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Um, and I was doing some videos in our hotel room and I remember I was seeing the reaction
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And I had like, got like 5,000 followers in a, in a short amount of time.
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And then I was at that tournament and some guy came up to me and was like, Oh, you're
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And that was when I was like, wow, that's really crazy.
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Like how quickly it happens quickly it is and how it can spread like that.
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So I kept doing the Tik TOKs and then at the Olympics, I was really aware that people
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are made at the Olympics, Simone Biles, Michael Phelps, like they were made there and that's
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not, not made, but like, that's where the world knew them.
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And I knew I wasn't going to mean to this, you know, I'm not the best, I'm a very good
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And it's a sport also that not many people are watching.
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I was going to say, I think you're being a little too harsh on yourself even now.
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I think it's just the popularity of the sport more than anything.
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Um, so I knew that, but I knew that I had something that people didn't.
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And I think, you know, you know, you feel as well, like a personality and an ability
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to say what I'm feeling and not feel like cringed about it or awkward or judged for
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So in the village, I was, you know, saying all these things and that's why I got the
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Cause I was saying this stuff and you're on just saying regret everyone, everyone else
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is too scared to say, yeah, I'm too scared, but I was like, no, nobody wants to say
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cause they're Olympians, you know, you people hold us up on a platform thing.
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We're just the, we're, you know, indestructible and we have to stay focused at the games,
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but you practice for, you know, three hours a day and then you have all this time in the
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Um, and for me as a female athlete, I don't get paid a lot.
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So we always want sponsorships, but you have to, I've learned now you have to have something
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And in a sport like rugby companies aren't like who I play in, I play one stop in LA and
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I'm in Dubai and so it's like, do you want to be on my Jersey in Singapore and people
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So I just found that the TikTok and going, doing the TikToks has become another job for
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me and it allows me to play rugby and focus on rugby because, um, and as female athletes,
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a lot of us have second jobs and have to do more.
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So it's been really cool and people always ask me, Oh, you know, do you, do you wish
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you didn't have to do it or do you wish you'd, you know, do you want to not do it?
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Well, I, would I love to just play rugby and then make millions?
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You know, buy a house, but it's just not a thing for female athletes.
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So I have to do it right now, right now and not in rugby.
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Um, so I have to do it and I just think it's important.
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So I just, people are like, Oh, does it take away from your rugby?
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I don't think it does, but I think it's just, I think I have to do.
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I think more than anything, it's just, it's another form of representation because, you
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know, women so often aren't revered in the world of sports the same way that men are.
00:27:06.520
And now this year has been like a Renaissance because of the WNBA, but like past that, like,
00:27:10.500
you know, like the U S women's soccer team has way more goals than the men's does.
00:27:17.020
Like, that's like, it's, it's one of those things where you having a platform as it gives
00:27:22.220
other women who want to be athletes to like the perspective.
00:27:25.500
Cause they're like, okay, I can be an athlete too.
00:27:27.400
And also turn it into a career because being an athlete for anyone, however you identify
00:27:31.780
is not forever because your body is not going to carry you for that long.
00:27:34.800
So the important thing is to turn it into something else.
00:27:38.540
So if anything, you're just better than everybody.
00:27:55.240
But I think that's, I think it's a wonderful thing.
00:27:56.780
I think women getting to see you, not just like being an athlete, but being a professional
00:28:01.420
athlete and performing at the highest level, which is the Olympics is like a huge thing
00:28:06.020
for, for young girls who want to play, want to play sports.
00:28:14.540
What's what, what's the hate been like when you first started, when did you first start
00:28:18.520
noticing getting hate and what did it look like?
00:28:22.560
You know, and I think you, it's like, so it's constant now, but it's just something I don't
00:28:37.120
But, um, I think it was like a one comment here or there and then you're, you just, okay,
00:28:44.280
You can post another video, another comment here.
00:28:45.820
So of course my, the hate that I get is being called a man, being called masculine because
00:28:50.700
Oh my gosh, because of how big I am, because of my size.
00:28:55.080
And it's like, I could be the most random video of me like doing something, like even
00:29:08.620
That's not what your dad said, but it's just, that's what I made a joke about that.
00:29:12.420
Well, cause I, when I was first doing things, I, when I first started, I made a joke on
00:29:16.120
TikTok cause I was like all these, like the, you know, these young boys or these kids, whoever
00:29:23.440
I can a hundred percent think your dad does not think that.
00:29:27.720
And I'm like, well, I was real light when your dad picked me up.
00:29:33.860
And I made a TikTok about that cause I just thought it was so crazy.
00:29:37.620
But I also know that it's just these people that are going, it's like these kids going
00:29:40.780
through their phone and they're like, okay, hold on.
00:29:57.400
Sometimes people are like, cause when I was like fucking people up every goddamn day for
00:30:02.300
like two years straight, some people are like, oh, you don't do that as much anymore.
00:30:12.500
I was like, there's only so many ways I can make fun of someone being bald.
00:30:15.480
Like at this point, at this point, I, when I do fuck men up, like it's gotta be a joke
00:30:33.120
Like that's just what they tell me over and over again.
00:30:37.080
And it's just like some videos, it just floods my comments.
00:30:40.800
And so when I was first starting, I was, I do okay with it.
00:30:47.680
Cause I'll get, you know, like 20,000 comments of girlies and other, I think even other men
00:30:53.380
And then it's one dude from like Idaho who's like, uh, are you a dude?
00:31:05.680
I think it's hard and I'm coming to terms with it and I'm getting so much better at now.
00:31:11.000
I think what affects me is like, they're doing it to me and I know they're doing it to other
00:31:17.700
It's like who have, you know, 12 likes and then some guy goes in their videos and says
00:31:22.200
And if you said that to like young alone, cause I mean, you probably did this growing
00:31:26.520
I always got these comments on my shoulders, about how big I was in high school.
00:31:32.020
And it was like, I remember like distinctly in gym class once I was like, we were in the
00:31:35.800
gym and some guy was like, you're pretty masculine.
00:31:50.200
Like, but you're saying it to the other girls who haven't gotten to that level.
00:31:57.400
And I, and I obviously I was a, I was a big bitch too growing up.
00:32:03.240
So I was honestly ominously big, like as a child, like looking back, I'm like, I'd be
00:32:12.840
Um, and then when I was going into eighth grade, I, I grew four inches.
00:32:20.160
So like I was, I was a big boy from a young age.
00:32:34.600
Like I used to think that all the time and that was mostly cause I was still unpacking
00:32:38.380
So like, you know, my need for it and my internalized misogyny and I was unpacking it.
00:32:45.280
I have to be more, more feminine, whatever that looks like, um, in order for men to like
00:32:49.980
Um, but my outward reaction was always violent.
00:32:54.840
Like if men said mean shit to me, I was mean as fuck back.
00:32:58.680
And then I would go home and I would be sad if I was sad about it.
00:33:01.260
Cause I was just so like, um, I was just a real swing first kind of girl.
00:33:05.380
Um, and so when men would be like, Oh, you're a little masculine, I'd be like, you got damn
00:33:18.700
I had a few times like men had told me like when I was in high school, like they would
00:33:22.660
say things like, I would like you if you were shorter than me, I'd like you if you
00:33:28.940
And then I'd be like, yeah, you fucking said I was too tall.
00:33:37.860
Have you ever been around people who are like taller than you?
00:34:06.060
So I'm, I'm six feet, but my boyfriend's six four.
00:34:10.600
So when we walk around, like we're both very big people too.
00:34:16.060
But at the time I, I didn't like it at all when I was a kid.
00:34:20.480
I feel like because especially when as women too, cause we're always taught that like smaller
00:34:25.740
and less in whatever that looks like, whether it's personality, physically, financially,
00:34:29.900
successfully, like all of it needs to be less than men in order for us to be taken seriously
00:34:36.380
So I'm glad that you don't feel that way anymore.
00:34:42.740
Um, and I have never like been in a relationship or anything like that.
00:34:47.340
So it has been like my own, like really personally trying to figure that out.
00:34:51.540
And I think rugby really helped me with that too.
00:34:54.040
It's like a weird transactional thing sometimes with these dudes.
00:35:01.340
And I'd rather have a conversation, see, feel it out.
00:35:03.920
But I remember this guy, I didn't even talk to the whole night.
00:35:06.160
It was like, all right, we going, you going back to mine.
00:35:20.760
Yeah, it's very, when I was in college, I, because I wasn't playing sports, I was like
00:35:27.680
I worked in sports media and everything the whole time I was in college.
00:35:29.880
And I used to interview athletes a lot and I would have to do like one-on-one interviews
00:35:34.460
So I spent a lot of time in the like journalist area of that, of interviewing athletes, going
00:35:39.000
to like post-game pressers, like all that stuff.
00:35:41.200
And so sometimes when I would like date athletes, if I would ask them a question, like you said,
00:35:46.500
just standard small talk, like, where are you from?
00:35:50.580
The way they would answer it, like it was a fucking post-game presser question, I'll
00:35:57.300
He's like, well, you know, just got to go back and check the tape and then we'll get better
00:36:07.080
Can you like make normal conversation or is this just kind of where it ends?
00:36:13.060
And I think with, especially with sports and I, why I've been like successful and what
00:36:18.280
I say to other girls is what do women have that a lot of men don't have?
00:36:23.540
And I think that's what like women athletes bring to the table a lot.
00:36:27.620
We're seeing with like Angel Reese, all these athletes, the personality they have and what
00:36:31.400
they bring is such, so a value and people really connect with it.
00:36:36.740
And I just want, whenever my teammates are like, and, or athletes in the space will always
00:36:50.840
Because obviously if you're on a team of other people who have made it to that level, you're
00:36:59.460
But like, what's something else you have that can set you apart from everyone?
00:37:02.960
Especially, especially like you said, in this industry now where like professional male
00:37:08.300
sports are like revered in a much different way than women are.
00:37:12.320
So women constantly have to juggle so many things at the same time.
00:37:16.160
So now that so many female athletes are also developing like careers, like in entertainment,
00:37:23.920
Cause then it's like you, you're, you're doing two things that you love at the same time,
00:37:27.100
but you can turn what you love, your passion, which is your sport into your actual career.
00:37:31.320
You can like pivot so easily into that once you don't want to play anymore.
00:37:34.420
And that's like the thought of making sports a career is something girls didn't think of.
00:37:40.580
And I have some teammates who are going to retire soon and they're just going to go into
00:37:46.260
I was just traveling the world to go into Dubai and Cape Town and then you just kind of
00:37:50.620
So that's where I just, I, people always ask me, oh, you want to get back into nursing?
00:37:54.000
And it's like, well, if I have to, yeah, I'll do it.
00:37:56.240
But I would love to see what I can do with this and with sports.
00:37:59.840
Because there's so many different avenues now, especially when you, because entertainment and media
00:38:04.120
is so closely intertwined with sports now, there's so many different ways you can go.
00:38:09.160
They pivot into commentary or they become sideline reporters or correspondents of some kind, or
00:38:14.240
they go and they like mentor or they do talks or they work with kids.
00:38:22.200
That's why, again, your representation on social media is so important because women can see
00:38:26.420
that there's a career even after sports, like well after a fulfilling career.
00:38:31.020
And I think too, like this happened to like my dad, my dad went to the NFL.
00:38:38.060
So after you're done, it's like, there's like this, like almost rebirth you go through where
00:38:43.380
you're kind of like, okay, what the fuck do I do now?
00:38:47.240
And sometimes, especially with men who dedicate all of this time or women who dedicate all this
00:38:52.240
time and money to this sport and then you don't do it anymore.
00:38:55.060
It gets to a point where you're kind of like, I don't even know like who I am without the
00:39:01.860
Mostly I'm scared though, because I don't know how to eat without sports.
00:39:06.020
And I see what, like what you don't have to eat as much when you're not running miles
00:39:15.260
I'm like, are you going to be okay the rest of the day?
00:39:19.440
Like there's only like seven grams of protein in that egg.
00:39:24.840
That was a new, that was an adaptive thing for me though.
00:39:28.260
Cause you eat so different when you play all the fucking time.
00:39:30.820
Well, this is actually a really good transition.
00:39:32.080
Cause we're going to go into our topic for today.
00:39:35.420
Kind of, but not really, which is a terrible men on the internet who think female professional
00:39:41.760
And that's just basically men being threatened by strong women, which by the way, your comment
00:39:52.660
I love, I love a cut back bitch, like big traps.
00:40:23.460
I don't like, I, and I feel like a lot of women, especially when it comes to any sort
00:40:28.200
of fitness to a lot of stuff is geared towards women.
00:40:31.580
It's all like, Oh, big butt, like small stomach.
00:40:37.780
Uh, mine's I want in just an, I want to be muscle Bob buff.
00:40:43.080
I want to be like, so like, like Angela Bassett in Wakanda forever in the very beginning of
00:40:48.800
When she walks into that UN meeting, bitch, the way she's like, Oh yeah.
00:40:58.020
So I think that's a compliment when men tell me I have huge shoulders.
00:41:05.380
So this first video I'm going to read, this says, this is a video that shows a clip from
00:41:10.860
a rugby match featuring player, Portia Woodman doing a run and pushing defenders off her with
00:41:24.940
This one says a regular guy is enough to defeat this player, a regular guy.
00:41:33.300
I'll be like posting a video of me tackling or I posted a video of if somebody, if a man
00:41:40.540
I have all my teammates and everyone in the comments were like, I could take them all on.
00:41:44.080
You could take on a full team of us rugby girls.
00:41:46.980
You think, you think genuinely I'm coming at you from one and she's coming at you from
00:41:52.520
I'm, you know, it's like, that's just not even right.
00:41:57.180
They have, and it's Portia Woodman who she plays for New Zealand, iconic, legendary best
00:42:05.880
And I don't even think any of the guys in the seventh circuit would say that.
00:42:08.880
And you know, what's funny is they would never say that in general because they recognize that
00:42:16.180
Like the, this fucking exhausting conversation that regular ass men who work at fucking Auto
00:42:23.340
And they're like, I could, if you gave me like a week, I could probably take her.
00:42:35.380
Cause men were like, well, who the fuck are you to say?
00:42:42.720
You don't see me going, yeah, just give me a second.
00:42:49.840
That's why overzealous confidence is really easy when you're like never going to be challenged.
00:42:54.280
I'm like, we could have this fake conversation all day long, but you're at home and she's
00:43:09.880
And they're like, well, if I was playing against you, they're not.
00:43:12.520
It's the scenario in their head that puts them to sleep.
00:43:21.340
Does that now constitute greatness in women's rugby?
00:43:32.440
If you see the way she stiff arms people, it's actually really great.
00:43:41.620
Also, I think stiff arming is one of the most humiliating things to happen to anybody.
00:43:55.180
When people get stiff armed, like in the face too.
00:44:03.300
And so I posted a picture recently of a stiff arming girl.
00:44:08.360
And then I talked about, but she, they got the one shot of me getting stiff around my
00:44:21.120
I was high on that, but it is, it is a, it's like the one thing I can do.
00:44:31.220
I mean, why wouldn't you with rugby, especially that's like the whole point.
00:44:55.060
Did you take off your, your cleats and everything?
00:45:08.980
I've never, has anything embarrassing ever happened to you when you were pregnant?
00:45:13.540
I can't think now, but like recently I tackled another girl who's my size really well.
00:45:20.920
And I just knew when I tackled her after the game, I was like, sorry, dog.
00:45:24.080
I know you're coming for me later because we're so big.
00:45:29.880
It was a straight up tackle where I took her down.
00:45:31.900
And cause you just don't usually get that happen to you.
00:45:34.660
But she, for some reason came into me and we're size, we're the same size.
00:45:38.120
And it just worked out that I, you're not going to bump me off.
00:45:41.160
So I was like, Hey man, I know that's coming for me.
00:45:47.280
If you could, no hard feelings, no hard feelings.
00:45:49.100
You know, I know karma's coming, but rugby is one of those where it's like, you don't
00:45:56.340
You just got to be like, okay, back up the plays.
00:46:04.960
And I was like, my sister was, we joke all the time.
00:46:08.520
Like she's just always like about everything, but she thrived in rugby.
00:46:16.000
It's, it's crazy how like, it seems so opposite.
00:46:18.860
Like you would think I would be super into rugby because I'm so fucking confrontational.
00:46:26.700
What's special about rugby is like the people who are joining rugby, you would not expect
00:46:31.960
In college, when I looked around, it's like the people who, you know, they want to go,
00:46:37.680
And they've never played a sport in their life and they decided to play this tackle
00:46:43.440
Like, thank you for coming out, but what made you want to do that?
00:46:46.480
And some of my sister's rugby friends too are like power lifters too.
00:47:04.480
That's why I think men who are like, I could easily take.
00:47:14.200
You'd be like one of those guys who gets discharged early because you have asthma.
00:47:17.660
One time I, the one time I tried out for a water sport with my sister was for water polo.
00:47:29.160
But I, we literally to start before you even get to the water polo part, they make you
00:47:43.600
I'm, and I'm so tall, by the way, I just started walking and I was just moving my arms and they
00:47:49.120
And then I was thinking to myself, they can't tell I'm walking as if I'm not standing straight
00:47:59.560
And then I got really sick cause I drank way too much pool water.
00:48:13.020
It's cause I'm typically good at every sport, but that one, fuck that man.
00:48:21.600
I don't, you got to tread water that whole time while being cold on that shit.
00:48:29.900
No, I'm not a big fan of sports where they scratch.
00:48:33.460
They'll like put their hand on top of your head and like use you as a fucking leverage.
00:48:38.200
I can barely breathe in air, you know, like not in a pool.
00:48:41.600
They call it an egg beater when you're doing that little thing that keeps you above the,
00:48:50.000
This next video, this says this video is from the account rugby pass.
00:48:55.060
It's a fan cam style edit of the Australia rugby women's sevens team with the caption,
00:49:03.420
And in the comments, we're very angry about it.
00:49:05.500
This one says it's so painful to watch any women play sport, play sport.
00:49:22.020
Honestly, when you're a hater, everything's painful to watch.
00:49:27.500
Yeah, like when I'm a fucking, when I'm on some hater shit, everything bothers me.
00:49:33.060
I'm like, look at him just standing there being nice to me.
00:49:37.640
I'm like, I think most men, if they admitted they were haters, their life would probably
00:49:42.000
This one says, pretty sure no one watches because of their abilities.
00:49:50.560
So he's saying they watch because women are hot.
00:49:55.600
And that's not what they say, is it, when they watch women dominate?
00:50:04.300
But it's like, and that's what I'm saying that I'm really passionate about is like being
00:50:09.640
And because these guys that just believe, oh, you're wearing makeup and play rugby.
00:50:15.400
Actually, the best rugby players in the world has a full beat on.
00:50:22.380
I mean, like Sha'Carri Richardson, who have nails, lashes, hair.
00:50:25.600
Like all that full beat, fastest woman in the world.
00:50:31.460
It doesn't allow you to pass when you got mascara on.
00:50:35.840
That's why I was like, some men, when they make comments about, especially about makeup
00:50:44.820
Well, I will say like when I, you know, younger, I think because of just of like how, you
00:50:48.460
know, society, whenever girls would wear full, I remember in college, well, it was
00:50:53.180
And when you're in the scrum, it kind of gets messed up.
00:50:56.800
And she would wear like a, it would be a white jersey.
00:51:11.000
Like I wear lipstick when I play, seeing girls put a full face on because it's like this
00:51:14.780
idea that you've have to, if you play sports, you have to kind of sacrifice your
00:51:18.460
Like me, if you just be a masculine out there, I'm like, no, you can be, I can tackle her
00:51:27.060
And I'll have Ardell Whispies glued to my fucking eyes.
00:51:34.240
Cause even when men comment on makeup, I'm like, some of you men need to learn how to
00:52:02.220
That's why sometimes I think when they write that, I feel like I imagine them typing it
00:52:08.400
And what's so crazy is like, obviously not big dog.
00:52:13.100
Didn't you just say that they're women, so you don't respect them as athletes?
00:52:19.500
I'm getting the, the messaging is, we're getting mixed signals.
00:52:23.200
Cause they're like, they only watch cause women are hot.
00:52:30.480
And yet you're still, and you have something you got to figure out.
00:52:33.160
I'm like, and through all of that, you're still unemployed.
00:52:40.620
What would you say has been like the most rewarding thing from being able to, uh, platform
00:52:46.400
your athletic career and also kind of spin it into a social career too?
00:52:50.000
I think it's what I've been able to do for like girls and their own body confidence, their
00:52:57.280
Because I would have loved to have somebody, I think like this when I was growing up, somebody
00:53:01.520
with this bill with these shoulders and, um, who still feels, you know, very feminine
00:53:06.760
and wears a dress and doesn't feel like I have to hide my shoulders.
00:53:08.880
Like recently I just had one of my teammates, she was like covering her shoulders and I was
00:53:15.740
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And so for me, it's trying to show these girls that you can be all those things.
00:54:24.160
And it's like, my thing is, is that this is not changing.
00:54:33.720
I think we're taught, oh, if you're skinnier, if you're this, you're that, it's going to
00:54:42.400
That's what you're working with and know what it can do and what it's capable of.
00:54:46.780
And hopefully just helping these girls to do that because rugby helped me.
00:54:52.640
And so if like, I like to say it's like a confidence pyramid scheme.
00:54:56.600
My teammate Nia was always very helpful with me.
00:54:58.920
She's a, she's like a tall, bigger girl as well.
00:55:00.880
And I just remember her really helping me with my confidence.
00:55:03.140
And then I've trickled down to help two other people with their confidence and hopefully
00:55:06.220
two other people can, you know, so it's like this big thing I'm running.
00:55:11.880
So that's, I think what's been, because I've gotten a lot of lovely messages from girls
00:55:15.440
who are like, I see, you know, you, that's my body type to see what you're doing.
00:55:20.680
And I also think it's, it's another testament to how Eurocentric beauty standards have been
00:55:26.600
inflicted on all of us and not everybody is supposed to look a certain way.
00:55:31.320
And what's beautiful to one person may not be beautiful to the next.
00:55:34.200
So for any man to ever say that women are just inherently ugly because they don't look
00:55:40.920
It's like, it's fucking stupid, but past that it's just objectively not true because like
00:55:46.020
not everybody finds the same people attractive.
00:55:48.200
So when they tried to impose these really harsh beauty standards on women, especially
00:55:53.620
Cause first of all, all of the men who do that shit are under six feet.
00:55:56.400
They're not even doing the bare minimum of what they're supposed to look like, which
00:56:02.660
And I will say with that too, I think sometimes look, men are the worst, but there's, there
00:56:09.240
I think we're just told that men only like this one thing, but I mean, as you found, you have
00:56:13.000
an amazing boyfriend who loves you as you are, there's men that are going to like you
00:56:19.120
And this idea that, Oh no, men only like the skinny.
00:56:24.060
Well, the men who are like that are fucking awful.
00:56:27.140
That sounds like that Venn diagram is a circle.
00:56:29.680
Like there are many other men who don't give a fuck about shit like that.
00:56:32.800
And it's like, or they find it sexy and they find it hot.
00:56:35.940
That's why I said, it's not the same for everyone.
00:56:37.900
So when men try to say this, they try to say blanket shit, like, Oh, men hate that.
00:56:46.860
It's the same thing when men are like, I would never fuck you.
00:56:53.500
Also, it turns out we have a lot more in common than you think.
00:56:59.080
Like, I just hate that lie that they're told, you know, like, Oh, they don't like the big shoulders
00:57:09.500
And that's why I just kind of try to share that as well.
00:57:12.440
That you look, girl, that's what you're working with.
00:57:15.160
You got to accept it because people will love it.
00:57:18.400
But if you don't love yourself or accept yourself in a way, it'll actually get in the way of that.
00:57:24.700
I've told people before because they're like, Oh, I wish I had your confidence.
00:57:29.140
You just got to give yourself permission to use it.
00:57:31.420
I gave myself permission a long fucking time ago and it's worked out for me.
00:57:37.240
Like, it's just, you're the only person standing in the way of that.
00:57:40.040
And never let men who are ugly and unemployed make you believe that you're ugly because
00:57:51.600
My sisters, I listen to, my teammates, like real life, real life people.
00:57:54.760
Like who see you, you know, these men are like, Oh, you look like a man.
00:57:56.940
And then I go to the, the men on this, like my buddies on the men's team or the buddies,
00:58:02.000
And I'm like, cause one time I, these comments are really getting me and I made a video about
00:58:06.260
it and I went up to, and we were out after a tournament and I was like talking to this
00:58:08.540
one guy that I know, like attractive, very attractive man.
00:58:11.560
And he's like, I've literally never thought that about you.
00:58:14.000
Like, and, and then I talked to some other guys.
00:58:18.220
Like, it's just like, okay, here are these real life people who are hotter and more successful
00:58:24.820
Well, and it's also, it's just a testament to like, a lot of times it's a projection.
00:58:28.340
So men feel like either they couldn't get you or they feel like you have something they
00:58:33.280
don't have, which is a successful career as an athlete, successful career online.
00:58:41.620
And then honestly, sometimes they do want to fuck you.
00:58:45.040
That's all I was like, that line is razor thin, bitch, between love and hate.
00:58:48.800
So I was like the way something, and some men, like when they really talk shit, I mean,
00:58:52.300
lately they've been really on some shit about, about me.
00:58:55.400
I, they were saying like some shit about like, I'm scamming people.
00:58:58.000
They're like, oh, Drew's a scammer because she turns out she has a boyfriend.
00:59:03.600
And also, why are you guys acting like you're breaking the Watergate scandal, bitch?
00:59:06.760
Like the bitches in my comments know I have a man.
00:59:11.880
Like I'm scamming single women into, cause I tell people to die alone and like to be
00:59:17.920
single forever, which I've literally never said.
00:59:20.400
And then they're like, and then women buy into it.
00:59:26.540
But I was like, okay, the only person getting taken advantage of in my business is awful
00:59:31.720
Because they can't stop saying awful shit about me.
00:59:40.840
And my sister, whenever I get those mean comments, they're like, awesome.
00:59:47.980
And that's why I was like, sometimes I'll be like, why is this on my for you page?
00:59:50.700
I'm like, well, now that you commented, I'll see you again, bitch.
00:59:55.420
I'll see you in a little bit when you send me another hate comment.
01:00:02.080
I'm grateful to have you as a representation of a very successful female athlete.
01:00:07.440
But also, I'm happy to have had you on the show.
01:00:10.760
I do want to ask you one last question, though.
01:00:12.800
What would you say is your best piece of advice for any young girl who maybe is an athlete
01:00:18.540
now or wants to pursue being an athlete, but maybe a little intimidated when
01:00:22.740
it comes to how men may perceive them, especially when you're so successful in a physical sport?
01:00:33.120
Number two, I think I almost go back to the support system and having people around you,
01:00:41.740
having a team like that, rugby changed my life.
01:00:43.640
It made me accept my personality, accept my size.
01:00:46.440
I remember coming on to my first rugby pitch and they called me the big girl and I was like,
01:00:54.260
Three, I think it's important for women to find out what their body is capable of because
01:01:00.580
a lot of times as women, our bodies are almost there to be objectified by the media, by what
01:01:08.580
And I think doing a sport and finding out what your body is capable of and it's not just
01:01:11.980
something for people to judge and to dissect is really important.
01:01:16.100
And so take this, these sports as a way to see that your body can do so much more.
01:01:22.840
Whether it's like golf or pickleball or lift a weight.
01:01:28.520
Just take, really be in your body because that is your body.
01:01:34.320
And I guess learn to, whether it's love, whether it's accept, just get to know it.
01:01:43.420
Thank you so much for the wonderful advice and for being amazing.
01:01:47.520
Also, if you're looking for a man, now's the time.
01:01:50.640
Do you have any crushes that you want to, you want to shout out, want to be bold?
01:01:56.200
I try to tell my, like, I go to my friends, like, y'all know anybody I got to DM?
01:02:05.380
Girl, use that blue check mark till the wheels fall off, bitch.
01:02:08.240
But I, I was just telling my sister that the other day because my sister is in the, is
01:02:16.500
Go ahead and slide in my inbox and I'll pass you off.
01:02:25.600
But that's why, I was telling my sister, I'm like, dude, the way I would, if I was single,
01:02:31.060
I'd just be DMing anyone that, hey, you want me?
01:02:42.260
I just have not, even while we were joking about it, like, at the Olympics, I genuinely thought,
01:02:45.980
I was like, there's going to be so many athletes in my DMs after this.
01:02:51.600
So I just got to get on it and really see what I can do.
01:02:56.320
Well, and we have extra personality things, so I got to keep making the first move.
01:03:32.060
I think that if you are interested in Ilona, let me know.
01:03:34.940
If y'all would rather reach out to me, that's fine.
01:04:14.840
I'm wishing all the success, and I'm going to root for your medal and your man.
01:04:17.860
And thank you all for joining us on this episode of the Comment Section Show.
01:04:38.000
I'm a dickhead on the internet full-time, and she's an athlete full-time.
01:04:42.580
Well, make sure y'all go follow Ilona on everything, and make sure you follow her journey when
01:04:49.900
And thank you all so much for joining us on this week's episode.
01:04:52.120
Don't forget, new episodes of the Comment Section drop every Wednesday.
01:04:54.980
You can stream the audio on all streaming platforms, or you can watch the video exclusively,
01:04:58.140
and for free on our favorite platform, Spotify.
01:05:02.120
Thank you all so much for joining us, and I'll see you next week.