The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - Best of The Comment Section： 100 Episodes

00:00:00.000 Ontario. The wait is over. The gold standard of online casinos has arrived. Golden Nugget

00:00:06.000 Online Casino is live, bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class gaming experience

00:00:11.040 right to your fingertips. Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting, signing up is fast and

00:00:16.680 simple. And in just a few clicks, you can have access to our exclusive library of the best slots

00:00:21.740 and top-tier table games. Make the most of your downtime with unbeatable promotions and jackpots

00:00:27.220 that can turn any mundane moment into a golden opportunity at Golden Nugget Online Casino.

00:00:32.820 Take a spin on the slots, challenge yourself at the tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the

00:00:37.920 thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort of your own devices. Why settle for less when you

00:00:43.140 can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino? Gambling problem? Call ConnexOntario

00:00:49.080 1-866-531-2600. 19 and over. Physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See

00:00:56.340 goldennuggetcasino.com for details. Please play responsibly.

00:00:59.940 Hey y'all, it's Drew, and I am your host of the comment section podcast. Woohoo! We all know that.

00:01:06.940 I want to take this moment just to thank all of you for an amazing, amazing ride on the comment

00:01:13.400 section. It has officially been a hundred episodes, and I never get emotional. Don't tell the men.

00:01:21.160 But I'm very, very thankful for every single one of you that listens and streams and watches

00:01:27.200 the show. It is truly a labor of love. I couldn't do it by myself, and thankfully I don't have to

00:01:32.420 because I've had some of the best guests that you could possibly imagine. So for this very special

00:01:37.700 hundredth episode, I wanted to show you all some of my favorite moments from the entirety of the last

00:01:44.540 two years, because what an accomplishment, a hundred episodes. I'm so excited, so proud of you

00:01:50.000 and me, period. And thank you all for giggling with me. It's been a fucking blast. With that being said,

00:01:56.680 enjoy the hundredth episode, and I'll see you next week. Bye!

00:01:59.900 What else you got? Let's hear it. Um, so it was on Reddit. It has, uh, 263 views. Reminder that

00:02:12.880 makeup is the biggest fraud in history of mankind, and it should be illegal. It's just me before and

00:02:17.200 after with makeup on. I don't even look at that different. You really don't. You know what's crazy

00:02:22.060 to me? This whole makeup, makeup, makeup. Do you really think, like, you have a wonderful eyeliner

00:02:27.620 going on? You think that's natural? Like, look at my lashes. You think, you think this shit's real?

00:02:32.360 Yeah, and there's also, like, articles where it's, like, guys don't like, like, bright makeup. You like 1.00

00:02:36.520 makeup. You just can't, don't want to tell that you like makeup. I just want it, I want it to be a game.

00:02:41.440 You keep coming back to something that's hurting you, which is... Oh, I'll be doing that. I mean, it's fun.

00:02:47.980 You're like, I know you're bad for me, but I'm attracted to you because of that.

00:02:52.620 You're like, you know what? I am ready to get hurt again. Yeah. I have taken my time. I've healed.

00:02:57.100 Yeah. I'm ready to reopen it. Run it back. Yeah. Let's run it back one more time. For shits and

00:03:01.860 giggles, I'm a little bored in my life. Run it back. That's just lesbianism, though. I don't know. 1.00

00:03:06.880 That's just how it is. That's just how it be sometimes, I think. Yeah. So I went on this

00:03:11.080 hinge date, as you know. Yeah. The guy's profile said 5'11". I was like, okay, a short man. That's

00:03:17.200 fine. Yeah. I can do that. Right. Pulls up to the date, a strong 5'7". Oof. And I'm like,

00:03:24.160 looking down at him, I'm like, okay, I can work with this. I can work with this. I'm

00:03:29.400 not shallow. I don't care that you lie. You're like, I like charity. Yeah. Oh, I do lots

00:03:34.920 of charity work. If you've seen any of my ex-boyfriends, I do charity. Call me the Salvation

00:03:40.700 Army. But anyway, so we're having a good time. I'm like, okay, I don't mind that this man

00:03:48.440 is shorter than me, because that's not something I always care about. Yeah. So the date ends,

00:03:54.500 and I go to hug him goodbye at the end of the date. Yeah. Pulls up my sweater, puts my full

00:04:00.580 titty in his mouth. And I'm standing there, I'm like, okay. In his defense, he was eye 0.98

00:04:07.920 level with it. I was trying to justify it. You know what? He saw his opportunity and he

00:04:13.320 took it. Oh, he took it. He was like, this is never going to get further than this. I go

00:04:17.200 bigger. I go home. Oh, he went big. He went big. He did. He showed up small, but

00:04:21.400 he went big. Yes. The one big thing about him. Yes. I was at Olive Garden in Newport

00:04:29.440 Beach. And I did see Elon Musk. No, not Elon Musk. His then wife Grimes with Noah Centineo

00:04:36.520 and they were making out over some breadsticks. And I did tweet about it. And then unfortunately

00:04:41.020 they like put out that statement that they broke up a week later. So people thought it was

00:04:45.080 very- So are you omnipotent then? You're just all

00:04:47.420 knowing? I either manifested it or like- Or you actually saw it. Or I did actually see

00:04:53.540 it and everyone will never know. Honestly, you know who does know? Probably the entire

00:04:57.320 student body of Harvard. You're an esteemed alumni. Where I attended. Yeah. You're an esteemed

00:05:02.500 alumnus. So basically what I do is I lie. I tell untruths. I make things up. And I feel

00:05:08.320 like I found that the internet is a much better place for me, like spiritually, emotionally,

00:05:13.560 if I just make things up. If you just lie. Because then when I'm faking stuff and people

00:05:19.080 are mean to me about it. Right. It doesn't cut. Yeah. It doesn't hurt. Because it's all

00:05:23.620 a fantasy. Yeah. It's lore. Yeah. Speaking of understanding the male and female gaze, we both

00:05:29.060 have dabbled in the arts of fan fiction, if you will. We're authors. Literary critics.

00:05:35.860 Right. I mean, the pen is my sword.

00:05:41.940 That's how I like to see it. You know what I mean? I'm a true artist on paper. Wait.

00:05:46.920 Wait. What did you write? Because I wrote- My fan fiction. Yeah. My fan fiction was about

00:05:52.000 the Jonas Brothers. Because they had me in a chokehold. Who was your bias? Who was your

00:05:57.420 fan? Oh, mine was Nick. I was a Nick Gurley. And I think I knew deep down that he was down

00:06:01.500 for the brown. I think I knew deep down. You knew. You had a feeling. I knew. He was the

00:06:04.740 only one who ended up with a brown girl. So I was like- And you know what else? You

00:06:07.860 said, he's sick. Yeah. He has diabetes. When I tell you that diabetes was a main point in

00:06:14.360 my story. Why? When I was 14. Because you're a good story writer. When I was 14, I literally

00:06:20.320 thought like, I don't know why people treated it like it was terminal. I know. When he came

00:06:23.740 out with like, you know, having to deal with diabetes. Yeah. Everyone was like, oh my

00:06:27.360 God. Dude, little bit longer. Little bit longer. I literally was like, he's gonna die. I literally

00:06:34.400 was like, oh my God. I was like so moved. I was like- Like why? I just, honestly, when

00:06:41.740 I wrote the thing, I hand wrote it, by the way. No, you didn't. Yeah, because I'm a colonial

00:06:46.180 woman. You're just like in English class with a skrill. Like a skrill. I'm a colonial woman. 1.00

00:06:50.280 And like by whale fat candlelight, I was writing it with a little feather. A quill pen. No,

00:06:56.660 seriously. I filled up like three notebooks with it. And I had him in it. And like Miley

00:07:02.100 Cyrus was in it. Santa Gomez. Naturally. There was cheating, a pregnancy scandal. Damn, 0.92

00:07:07.460 you want to upload it? I wrote it. I was novellas type B. That's 1.00

00:07:09.860 what I was writing in there. I was writing plots, twists, climaxes. Dang. And then my sister

00:07:16.200 was building a MySpace at the same time. Yeah. So we could like put it on MySpace.

00:07:20.240 Did you? No. Damn. We literally built the whole thing. She coded the thing and everything.

00:07:25.140 Like this bitch taught herself how to like code MySpace. You're kidding. Yeah. So we customized 1.00

00:07:29.100 and everything. So you made this and never shared it with the world. I swear. I promised

00:07:33.920 my followers when I was like, oh, when I hit one million, I'll read it to y'all. And I

00:07:36.940 can't find it. Liar. Some of them to this day are like, where's she at? Where's she at, 1.00

00:07:42.600 bitch? You can't find it? No, I can't find it. I can't find it. I think in shame, I threw 1.00

00:07:47.120 it away. But I wish to God I had it now so I could read it like word for word how I wrote

00:07:51.820 it. Cause I was so dramatic. If you couldn't tell. No, but I bet it was good. It was so

00:07:57.020 good. I love, like I, so you never like read fan fiction. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. Oh you

00:08:01.880 did? So you know Wattpad. I was so far up that ass. I was so, Wattpad number one used

00:08:06.220 app on any device I've ever had. Humiliating. I, um, the worst thing about Wattpad is that

00:08:12.580 it's written by girls like you then. Yeah. 14 and hornier than a man in his 50s. Like

00:08:20.640 it is just criminal. And I remember reading it and you know, they have no grasp on grammar.

00:08:25.120 Yeah. So it's like, he let out a breathe. On Wattpad, it's just truly the worst grammar.

00:08:32.200 Like no comprehension of syntax or grammar or just like English in general. It's like

00:08:38.460 I let out a short breathe and then he kissed me. And I'm like, period. You're like, that's

00:08:46.040 me when you're reading it. It's really, really good. I want to do this for me and I want to

00:08:51.580 go on this journey myself. And it's like not about pleasing everyone. Cause I was a very

00:08:54.780 much a, a people pleaser kind of kid. Right. I got straight A's, you know, I played sports,

00:08:59.820 I played football, I played, like I did all this, all those kinds of things that it was

00:09:03.060 like the classic, like man should be doing. Yeah. But I feel like the reason I did that

00:09:06.600 is because I was hiding the fact that I was gay this whole time. So I was like good at 1.00

00:09:09.880 everything. Yeah. So you're like overachieving. Yes. I was overachieving. Cause I'm like,

00:09:13.620 okay, I'm going to make up for the fact that I'm gay. And so when they, if they find out

00:09:16.940 I'm gay, then I'm like, Oh, but like, look how great he is. You know? So I feel like that

00:09:20.660 was kind of my like struggle for a long time. And it wasn't until I got into really going

00:09:24.680 into college and like making friends, gay friends. I didn't have gay friends growing

00:09:27.800 up. Yeah. You know, I was in this little bubble. Yeah. I was in this little tiny little bubble

00:09:30.660 for a long time. Yeah. So kind of meeting them and like, you know, friends of mine expressing

00:09:35.460 who they were authentically made me want to express myself authentically. So I finally

00:09:39.520 was just like, I'm going to rebel. And then you became a big fat slut. Yes. No, literally. 1.00

00:09:44.800 No, literally. I got a tongue piercing. That beautiful journey turned into you being a big whore. 1.00

00:09:48.680 It turned into me being a hoe. Yeah. What's your initial thoughts? When you think about men, 1.00

00:09:52.720 like either dictating what women wear or what's okay to wear or what's proper, whatever you want

00:09:57.720 to call it. Like what are your initial thoughts? Learn what a clitoris is before you're going 1.00

00:10:02.100 to give any fashion advice. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. Like maybe find the entrance to 0.97

00:10:08.960 the pleasure center. Not even the whole thing. Maybe find like, like feel the touch of a woman 0.90

00:10:13.180 before. Maybe speak to one in real life. Yeah. Like not a photo on a script. Yeah. I just

00:10:18.160 don't under, I'm like, there are way bigger issues that you should be addressing and it's

00:10:22.300 not what women are wearing. Like what they're putting on their own bodies, for example. 1.00

00:10:26.360 Or what they should be washing off of their bodies. The stink. The must. Twins. 0.96

00:10:33.340 It's my new thing. I hate the word musty. I know. It's so, it's so accurate. It's for 1.00

00:10:38.740 what it describes. It like gives you the full experience just by hearing the word. Like

00:10:42.400 full body chills. Yeah. No, I literally have full body chills thinking about must. Especially

00:10:47.000 straight men must. Oh, that's, that's, that's all I, that's like the only thing. That's

00:10:51.380 the only description. That's the only must. To me, that's like the must. TM. Literally

00:10:56.300 TM. I literally, I have said before in interviews, like it's like Robin Hood. I'm stealing, but

00:11:03.480 from the rich and I'm giving back to the poor. So you're out. Yeah. It's a sleigh. It's

00:11:07.580 a sleigh day. It's a sleigh. It's a sleigh. And I told, I told Chris too, when I was talking

00:11:12.620 to him, I said at the end of the day, I'm a girl boss. You, you really are. Like you

00:11:16.680 embody it. Like I'm a girl boss. I girl boss. I gatekeep. I gaslight. That's it. I, I live

00:11:22.680 by those words. I don't gaslight my friends, but if. Same. A man tries, like literally I

00:11:29.140 was telling you about last night. Like I literally, I'll just talk about it. Can I? Yeah.

00:11:35.860 Okay. So I had a guy over last night. Um, and we were doing stuff. What'd you do? We

00:11:42.700 were making out. Um, and I, Oh my God, I get up, like I'm on top of him and I'm done

00:11:48.860 making out with him. I look at his face and it is covered in blood, like covered. It would,

00:11:54.560 it looked like a horror scene. Yeah. It looked like a horror scene. Um, I was like, Oh my

00:12:00.280 gosh, do you have a bloody nose? Knowing damn well I had a bloody nose. And he was like, I 0.57

00:12:04.720 don't know shit out of him. Yeah. And I literally ran to the bathroom and I was 0.99

00:12:08.300 like, let me get you tissues. Like stop your bloody nose. And I'm literally shoving

00:12:11.680 tissues at my nose to stop the bleeding. And I came back out and he was like, I

00:12:14.980 didn't have a bloody nose. And I was like, that's weird. Cause I didn't either.

00:12:17.960 You're all that's crazy. Yeah. That's actually insane. Cause if I didn't, you 0.96

00:12:20.900 must've had it. I think it's kind of crazy because I literally saw the blood on

00:12:23.780 your face. Yeah. So it's okay. You can be comfortable. It happens to the most of us. I'm

00:12:28.200 sorry that that happened to you, but also like, you don't need to lie. Yeah. Like

00:12:32.060 this is a safe space. I feel like lying

00:12:34.640 is like a red flag to me personally. You might want to go home. Yeah. You're like,

00:12:37.880 honestly, that affects me. No, like your plight is now affecting me. And I feel like

00:12:42.420 that's unfair to me. Just gaslight on one billion. Yeah. You know what I mean? That

00:12:46.460 you're so, you're good. I'm so good at it. Cause I just be gaslighting. I'm just

00:12:49.480 kidding. I'm really good at it because my ex was a psycho. I mean, my sister is someone 0.99

00:12:53.740 who like, she, she's, she's someone, I don't know. I don't know what it is, but some people

00:12:59.780 are just good at stuff without trying. And that really does not sit well with my

00:13:03.100 Espiritu. It really doesn't. Like she will, one day she was like, Oh, I'm just

00:13:07.300 going to, I'm just going to start skateboarding. And I was like, yeah, that

00:13:10.740 actually takes people. And she's already going to do the rest. And then she started 1.00

00:13:14.780 getting really good at it. And I was like, uh, okay, I'm just going to sit this one

00:13:17.980 out. And then she broke her ankle and I was like, yes. And then she's in the cast

00:13:21.180 and everybody's signing her. I'm like, this is according to plan. I was like, mom, look

00:13:25.260 at me. I'm in a choo-choo. She's like, anyway, I'm like, please, please. And then my younger

00:13:29.980 brother, I feel like you have a little brother too. You're the middle. So I don't, the prince,

00:13:34.400 Prince of Persia. You know what I mean? Princess die in my family. Literally this boy. When

00:13:40.260 I tell you, I got a little 22 behind my ear and my mom's like a tattoo. And she's

00:13:44.220 like, Oh, like open mouth crying, Greek wedding. Like, why do you want to leave me? Like literally

00:13:52.180 like, he gets a full anime tattoo. And she's like, it's expression. I'm like, he's expressing

00:13:58.400 himself. And I feel like you're stifling him by judging him. I'm like, I think that's

00:14:02.000 a girl's peepee. I didn't get a good look, but I think it's a peepee. And your mom's 0.99

00:14:05.900 like, leave him alone. He is from a different time. No, literally. That's the same thing

00:14:11.120 with our brother. Like I told you, princess die in my family. Like the people's princess 0.78

00:14:15.420 and my mom and dad are the people. Yo, my whole family there. I can't believe. Okay. So

00:14:19.700 when I am, when I'm ready to be like, you're going to ruin this person's life. And like

00:14:24.960 in a comment, like in the comment section, when I see somebody being like, you're ugly 1.00

00:14:28.880 and stupid. First, I look at their profile. I'm like, I've already absorbed all the information 1.00

00:14:32.740 to ruin your life for me. Like immediately. I see all my eyes are going sideways and I'm

00:14:38.360 typing. I'm making notes. I see all the numbers. I see a Yorkie, a peplum top a day out with

00:14:44.780 a sorority. And I'm like, I will end you. And then immediately I go into a room, right?

00:14:48.960 I go into a room like this. It's a triangle. It's me, princess die, Michelle Obama. And

00:14:53.860 they're like, you're better than this. And I'm like, again, and you said, am I, I, I love

00:14:58.240 that you think that of me, Michelle LaVon Robinson, Obama. I love that you think that, but

00:15:02.260 alas, alas, I'm just not so sure. Then princess Diana is like, stop, don't respond. And I'm

00:15:08.600 like, you know what? God, you're so fricking right. You're so fricking beautiful. And your

00:15:12.040 hair is gorgeous. And then I go back and I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to

00:15:15.620 do the adult thing and block them. Same. Whenever that Saweetie song comes on, what's

00:15:20.200 your sign? I'm a cancer. I go like this to princess Anna. You look back and she's there. 0.84

00:15:25.740 And she's like this. You know what's crazy? Wait, is she a cancer? Yeah, she's a cancer.

00:15:29.180 Oh my God. So is my brother. I know July 13th. I already asked. You already clocked 0.98

00:15:34.260 it. He didn't ask me, but I said July 22nd. He didn't ask me. We're the same. You don't

00:15:38.060 know this yet, but we're the same. Absolutely. This next comment says as a male to male writing

00:15:42.140 coach for those who write female led movie scripts, you have to just write about the stuff 1.00

00:15:46.960 on the cover of us weekly. Oh no. What are you? A hundred? Who reads us weekly? You read

00:15:52.420 that when you're in the grocery store, if it's available to you. You're literally looking

00:15:55.300 at it while you're about to grab a pack of gum. Oh yeah. Or that, that's where you see

00:15:58.640 the worst headlines for women. Like pregnancy headlines, divorce. Yeah. This woman treated 0.99

00:16:02.880 this person really badly. Who cares? The National Enquirer type thing. Oh yeah. Who reads us weekly?

00:16:08.160 What are you, a 90 year old mom? Yeah. Or everything's online now. So I would assume you guys see these

00:16:12.400 headlines online because I would say, sorry, I don't know. You know the funny, the one thing

00:16:16.560 on Twitter, like it's the pictures when they had like the Rihanna thing, the rumor. Yeah.

00:16:22.200 And it was a picture where it was a guy that was like, oh, ASAP cheated. I guess it's my

00:16:26.420 turn. I'd be like, no, it's not. No, it's not. You are at the back of the line. You said

00:16:32.620 whose turn? Your turn? Your turn? Are you sure? Whose turn? Her turn to do what? Send out

00:16:36.760 another tweet? Turn out to close the tweet. That's your turn. It's your turn to lie again?

00:16:42.180 How dare you? I felt offended when I saw that. I was like, and it was a picture of a mattress

00:16:48.120 on the floor with a whole bunch of like trash. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's a daily practice. 0.63

00:16:54.020 It's literally like hearing those thoughts. Like, you know, if you see something and your

00:16:58.320 instant thought is like a misogynistic one, it happens. Yeah. Yeah. For you to like be

00:17:03.520 like, wait, why did I just think that? Like, you know, and you come to the root of like where

00:17:08.300 that belief came from. Exactly. Like that's how you put in the work to create like change

00:17:12.920 within yourself. Yeah. Because I just think a lot of them don't know where to start. Yeah,

00:17:17.000 exactly. And who's always at the root of that problem? Men. Always. M? Let me get

00:17:23.100 an M. M. Let me get an E. E. Like truly. N. What does that spell? Not shit. I once had

00:17:32.920 someone stitch a video of mine and was like, this is why you'll never get a woman. And I

00:17:38.180 was like, oh, babe, ma'am, I am going to tell. I was like, I let's I'll FaceTime you

00:17:44.500 right now. Let's chat. A woman. I was like, listen, I am like. To do what? I was like

00:17:49.860 literally like what am I going to do? Like I people truly will find some sort of a narrative

00:17:58.040 or even like my like immigrant experiences, like they'll find that narrative and create

00:18:01.900 it for themselves. Like someone once commented something like your dad like went

00:18:06.300 through war and like came to this country for you to be like queer. And I'm like, my 0.99

00:18:11.520 dad went to art school. Basically. So it's like a pickup artist. Exactly. Yeah. So it

00:18:16.680 was like this pickup artist community. And then like when I was 14 and like had access

00:18:19.980 to the other and I was like, what is this? So I would like when I was a freshman in high

00:18:22.940 school, I would I would look at these like online pickup artists. Yeah. See what they were

00:18:26.460 saying. And it was like they were speaking this like crazy nerd language where I was just

00:18:29.860 sort of like, yeah, like I had like, you know, I scored three convos with like two tens and

00:18:34.180 like one nine. Like and then and they were and they were like saying shit. Like a science. 1.00

00:18:39.140 Yeah. It was just sort of like, oh, yeah. Like I got a make out in like they were like

00:18:42.140 it was like a I got a make out in. Yeah. There's like, yo, and like what I said, the guys

00:18:47.420 were just like, yo, yeah, like I got three hugs on this intersection today. I was just

00:18:51.180 like, oh, and it was all just stuff where I was just like, here's how to neg women. 1.00

00:18:56.000 It was just it was just it was literally like honestly, if you got to if you got to read

00:19:00.020 a book about it, you ain't got it. What do I look like I could work at? Where do you

00:19:04.680 look like you can work at? I look I feel like I look like a Panda Express shift lead.

00:19:13.860 Or like, you're like, I see it. I was trying to think of me. I was trying to think of what

00:19:21.100 I look like. I look like I think I look like. Can't stop thinking of what he says.

00:19:30.460 Like I'm on my 30. Take 30? I'm on. Yeah.

00:19:34.800 Yo, where's Melissa? Is she back yet? Yeah. Her 15's up.

00:19:39.560 You know, you have that wok. Like cooking the orange chicken.

00:19:44.280 I'm like opening the back.

00:19:45.360 You're putting shrimp in those little tiny like third third entree. Yeah, you're like

00:19:53.120 I'm like looking at like like someone's serving rice and I'm like less, you know, like when

00:19:57.940 they stand over there less than that. The Panda Express, but in the mall.

00:20:02.760 Oh, yeah. Sitting in the food, sitting in the food court, like with my hat like

00:20:07.080 on your break, you're sitting at that table that the train that drives in the mall goes

00:20:21.160 on. Where you have to move. Like when I see like an employee from Charlie's past Miami, I'm

00:20:30.200 like the Sparrows. Are we talking about Burbank mall?

00:20:44.120 I've never even known you, dude. That's just every mall ever.

00:20:47.500 That's because they're right next to each other. All three that I, that we mentioned. It's

00:20:50.960 like Panda, Charlie's and the Sparrow. Have you ever seen that one where they cook on

00:20:58.800 the, the hibachi in front of you? I don't know. It's like, it's called like, yeah, maybe

00:21:03.960 that's just a Riverside thing. Okay, relax. Sorry. I don't know. Um, maybe just the IE.

00:21:09.960 IE. Um. I think I look like, for me, I think I look like I would work at like an Ulta, but

00:21:20.260 I'd be really bad at my job. Like I'd be really bad at color matching you. I'd follow you around 0.54

00:21:25.140 and be like, oh no, girl, you should definitely try this. You should definitely try that. Like

00:21:29.740 I'd be really bad at my job. That's what I think I look like. 0.99

00:21:32.580 I, okay. I think you work at the spicy candies island. You know, the, the island in the middle

00:21:44.540 of the mall. I'm well aware. Spicy candies. The ones where it has the dispensers. Yeah.

00:21:52.140 And you scoop it for them. Yeah, you got a free sample. You look like, you look like you'd

00:21:57.160 be sitting at the end just like. Okay. Not doing my job. Do you need help?

00:22:02.580 No. Or the ones with the neon signs. Where no one, you're like, who the fuck buys from

00:22:10.640 that thing? Like, uh, there's something going on back there. I have, I saw Chewbacca for 0.98

00:22:16.840 the first time. This is me being vulnerable. I saw Chewbacca for the first time at Disneyland.

00:22:21.280 My mom was like, let's go take a picture. I said, girl, you know how I feel about big

00:22:24.720 things. Right. She was like, it'll be fine. It wasn't. We went in there. I had a full blown

00:22:29.160 panic attack because it was too big, too big. You're too big. You're too tall.

00:22:33.220 But you also, right. Even knowing that it's just like a regular person in there.

00:22:39.220 Even though, you know, it's like, it's like, I know he's not real. It's like a five, eight,

00:22:44.100 uh, intern. Who's just like an 18 year old. Like he's watching me in my early twenties.

00:22:50.160 Absolutely spin out. Like I wish, Oh, you know what? I'm going to find the picture

00:22:55.200 of me. Cause my whole family's next to it. And I'm on the very edge. Like, because I

00:22:59.620 was, you're scared. Losing. I literally was like, I couldn't do it. My boyfriend, that

00:23:03.660 was the first time my boyfriend ever watched me like spin out. There's no gender to it.

00:23:07.960 No, it's like empowerment. It's a state of being. And also the fact that it's not like

00:23:11.340 woman boss. Like, come on, come on. Well, that's why, that's why they made it a girl boss. 1.00

00:23:17.660 They're trying to make it. We didn't make girl boss. They made girl boss. That's what 1.00

00:23:21.020 I'm saying. And if you have a problem with it, it's because of you. So we flipped it.

00:23:24.020 That's why I said we flipped it. Uno reversed it. Uno reversed. That's right. And I think

00:23:27.920 too, like, that's a genderless term and so is bitch. So I always say, some people are 1.00

00:23:33.920 like, why do you call women bitches? I call, I call, I don't, I remember this iced tea tweet. 0.99

00:23:38.280 Did you ever see that? No, no, no, no. Where he's like, I don't call, uh, women bitches.

00:23:41.820 I call bitches bitches. I know that. I know that. That's me. 1.00

00:23:45.340 So my dad and my boyfriend don't care about football. Like my dad played football. My

00:23:50.780 boyfriend played football long ass time. Neither of them really care. Like they, they follow 0.79

00:23:55.420 it. They like to watch. But like when you ask, like, that's the first thing, like bro

00:24:00.240 kind of dudes ask full grown men, who's your team? First thing they ask. And my dad always

00:24:05.420 goes, I don't really have one to be honest. And they're like, what do you mean? What do you

00:24:09.020 mean by that?

00:24:09.560 Oh, same. Whenever I bring a guy over to meet my dad, they're like, oh my God, you

00:24:15.700 were like playing. And my dad's like, yeah. My dad lies. Oh really? Yeah. When people ask

00:24:21.180 him like, did you play? Cause my dad's a big dude. My dad's six, six. Same. My dad's

00:24:25.420 huge. Size 14, 15 shoes. Custom made. Yeah. Same. My dad too. We have the same dad.

00:24:30.800 Like we're sisters. Someone put a picture of both our dads. I've actually never met

00:24:36.640 my dad. I have a question. Virgo men are like overly competitive every time too. Really?

00:24:42.760 So like, oh yeah. Like about from like an actual sport to like playing Scrabble. Like

00:24:47.580 they'll, they'll get so mad. They break the board, you know what I mean? Flipping it across

00:24:50.400 the room. Or they leave. They're like, I just like, don't, I don't want to deal with the

00:24:53.260 negativity. I can't do it anymore. You know what kills me about that? I'm just thinking

00:24:56.500 in general with men when it comes to like being emotional and everything like that. Oh yeah.

00:24:59.980 Their, their idea of emotional is just like crying and being like, oh my God, I'm so sad

00:25:04.240 X, Y, and Z. But like men are very emotional people. Like you're punching a hole in the

00:25:08.720 wall over Scrabble. This game of Mario Kart. Over Scattergories? Over Sorry? Please. You

00:25:16.220 didn't get, you got 11th place in Mario Kart and you're punching a hole in the wall. Let's

00:25:20.380 unpack that, but you're not emotional. Why do you think the world is so triggered by trans 1.00

00:25:24.620 people or non-binary people? And I always say the same thing. I think when you are so 1.00

00:25:29.540 like shamelessly you and so brave and you, you're unapologetic for exactly who you are,

00:25:37.380 people kind of can't handle that because it triggers something inside them where they're

00:25:40.500 like, I can barely just be myself as like a cis person. How are you able to be so comfortable

00:25:46.880 that you're telling the world, like you literally changed your body, your everything. And I think

00:25:51.440 that's kind of another reason why like men come for you. It's like, they see you as this

00:25:54.940 woman that is so unapologetic and that triggers something so deep in their misogyny that they

00:26:00.940 literally go to bed crying at night. Yeah. And I go to bed, I sleep like this. Yeah. Y'all

00:26:06.060 have to break things down and be like, okay, this happened. We need to fix this. I'm a fast

00:26:10.300 thinker. Yeah. The thing about like having anxiety is that like you're always thinking.

00:26:14.540 Exactly. We're 12 steps ahead. Because like I probably already envisioned this scenario

00:26:18.460 happening. Honestly, like y'all be like, like, like, like, like, let's say like, like, I don't

00:26:27.740 know, like, like you make, you make breakfast. I'm like, I'm still asleep. If you don't make

00:26:30.700 me breakfast one morning, I'm like, Oh my God. Oh my God. No, no. And I'm already ready. And

00:26:35.580 then by the time you come in the room breakfast and I'm like, okay, nevermind. But then actually

00:26:40.780 happened. Like I've already processed like what I might say. Exactly. I was explaining that exact

00:26:47.180 thought process to my boyfriend once. I'm like, this is how I think. Like I genuinely,

00:26:50.540 I'm like, okay, if he says this, I'm going to say this because if he says this, then I'm

00:26:54.220 going to say that. Yeah. And then he was like, I can't even imagine thinking like that. He's

00:26:58.060 like, it's a prison in your mind. Cause I could never think. Yeah. I mean, it's like, I don't

00:27:01.900 want to switch minds. Nah. What do you want people to know about boys or F boys? Honestly,

00:27:10.140 guys don't do it. Don't do it in the missionary position. Don't do it. Just don't do it. You

00:27:16.140 know, the reality of the situation is while of course I want to put all of the blame on

00:27:23.920 the F boys. I think that we have to also acknowledge what we're accepting of what we're not, what

00:27:32.780 we deserve, what we don't like when you are clear about that, of course they creep in every

00:27:39.660 once in a while that I've been a victim myself. But when you are clear about what it is that you

00:27:45.900 want at the end of the day, if you just want to sneaky link. Yeah. Enjoy. By all means. Don't

00:27:52.740 get emotionally attached though. Yeah. And if you can't do that without that, don't even bother.

00:27:57.520 Yeah. Don't bother. Don't even bother. No friends with benefits. No, it's not for everyone.

00:28:00.880 You gotta be this tall ride, this ride. Like you gotta, there's requirements if you're

00:28:04.580 going to go in that route, but like, just know that you deserve the best. Ain't nobody

00:28:11.220 got time for that. Like I did stand up in college and I did the first one went really well. Like

00:28:17.460 really? Yeah. Cause I just got run over. So I was just lots of material to build up. You

00:28:22.500 know what I mean? We had a whole bank to pull from. I just gotten run over. I just like really

00:28:29.280 had it in me. You know what I mean? Everyone was like dying laughing. I was like, Oh my

00:28:32.240 God, maybe I'm Kevin Hart now. I'm fresh off a hit and run. No, literally. What if you

00:28:39.040 just constantly went? She ran but came back. So I was like, fine. What if you just constantly

00:28:42.840 went to get hit by cars? No. You're just hoping you get hit so that you can start over?

00:28:47.240 Like twice in the same week. Yeah. Like by two different cars, but like three times total. Cause

00:28:52.720 the first car did run me over twice. She backed up on me. No, she was such a bitch for 1.00

00:28:57.820 that. Like I saw him, you know, I was like Batman superpowers, white privilege. I was 1.00

00:29:05.740 like, damn. I mean, it's true. Unless you're talking about me as Batman, but the real Batman. 1.00

00:29:12.540 Yeah. The real Batman, the real fake Batman. Yeah. It's white privilege and money. Like

00:29:19.120 that's hella money. He's a mass vigilante. That's me. Not a superhero. Just a mass vigilante.

00:29:25.220 You know, your mask is the bald cat. They have no idea who I am. Oh my God. Who's that

00:29:33.140 man? Ha ha. Billy's like the dude that helps him. Yeah. He's Robin. Yeah. No, no, not

00:29:40.040 Robin. Oh, Alfred. Yeah. Alfred. A good support system, whatever it may be, your real blood

00:29:45.480 family, chosen family, friends, whatever it may be. Yeah. That's like pivotal, especially

00:29:50.080 like when you're doing too much, they're going to always tell you. Totally. They're

00:29:54.520 going to be so real and honest with you. Like if I decided to sing, for example, like

00:29:58.520 let's say I was one of those tick tockers. I was like, I'm going to sing. Yeah. And I

00:30:01.760 can't sing for shit. Our next pop. Yeah. I can't sing for shit. But if I did it and it 1.00

00:30:07.020 was trash. Yeah. My mom would be like, that was garbage. But you know what? I respect the 0.60

00:30:10.880 hustle. Yeah. The confidence. Let's pick something else. Yeah. And I think that that's important

00:30:15.640 to have self-awareness. You know what I mean? My mom would be like in the studio 0.99

00:30:20.540 like, okay, you know what? I see the vision. Let's put some auto-tune on that. Exactly.

00:30:26.840 Let's put some auto-tune on that. You know what? Let's get a little help. Yeah. I just

00:30:30.200 wish that men could find like a normal way to compliment a woman. Me too. What happened

00:30:36.380 to you? You're so pretty. Yeah. If I showed you. Bring them back. What happened to feeling

00:30:41.140 shame when we say something literally absurd out loud to somebody? This is literally the

00:30:46.680 thing that was sticking in my mind when I picked this topic for you was you tweeted once like 0.98

00:30:51.660 this nasty ass message I got sent to you. And you said, I just want to know, like, for

00:30:56.800 real, tell me, do you think you're going to heaven when you send messages like this?

00:31:00.200 He's not. He's not. He's actually going in the basement of hell. There's not even regular

00:31:05.600 hell. There's heaven. And then there's hell. Yeah. And then he's going in like negative

00:31:09.140 hell. Whatever's beneath that. But then underneath that. In like the basement hell. Yeah. Because

00:31:14.020 you read the DM. Yeah. I opened that and was like, pardon? If your underwear was a movie,

00:31:21.500 what would it be? What's the title? Oh, man. I don't know. I thought of a title, but it's

00:31:26.800 not a movie. What is it? A Red Scare. Mine's War of the Worlds. Mine's World War Z.

00:31:39.140 Girl. Contagion. Mine's the country bears.

00:31:44.320 Mine's minions. Brother bear.

00:31:50.040 Oh, my God. We're supposed to talk about natural beauty. Yeah, that's what we're talking about.

00:31:55.200 That leads right into our topic perfectly. We're going to talk about natural beauty,

00:32:00.360 being a natural girl. What's more natural than shitting yourself? 0.99

00:32:02.940 As God intended. Everyone's done it. Everyone's done it. And you know, I love drinking. I love my 0.98

00:32:10.840 other daughter drinking. But if you do pull back on drinking, you do shit yourself less. 1.00

00:32:16.220 And you know what? That's just a sacrifice you have to be willing to make. As a licensed vet 0.99

00:32:20.560 technician. That's what people always say. As an actual dog. I'm a doperman and that's never

00:32:26.860 happened to me. So you need to delete this video. Literally, as a Boston Terrier myself,

00:32:30.580 I can speak confidently for them. That's not the case. I know. I think that all the time.

00:32:34.960 Why are people like that? Just offering unsolicited advice when you didn't ask.

00:32:38.740 If you ask, that's one thing. Honestly, if your skin is not, back to the acne, but if your skin is

00:32:43.740 not remotely perfect, you will get unsolicited advice that you've never asked for. And the worst

00:32:49.440 ones are the people, the worst ones are the people, because I have a lot of followers.

00:32:55.060 I have the perfect cleanser for you. Like, I would love to give you a discount code. It'll

00:33:00.140 clear up all the acne. Just DM me. Wonderful sales pitch. Actually, go to hell.

00:33:08.760 I am. 1.00

00:33:09.260 The way they run into the point and completely miss it.

00:33:12.360 Truthfully.

00:33:12.760 And then if I tell them you're speaking from a point of privilege, they're like,

00:33:15.880 who has more privileges? Women have more privileges than men. 1.00

00:33:20.320 Women have more privileges. 1.00

00:33:21.700 Right. And then, but when it comes, like, when the hate comes specifically, like, from

00:33:25.520 a trans woman to me, I just have to, like, kind of get to the point of, like, why is 0.55

00:33:31.240 she speaking on this? And I really do listen, because I think it's important.

00:33:34.120 Same. Same.

00:33:34.720 But this one girl's video started with Dylan Mulvaney's personality is, like, nails on a 0.95

00:33:40.540 chalkboard.

00:33:41.620 Well, that's just an opinion.

00:33:42.260 And I was like, I should have stopped the video right there, because I knew, I was like,

00:33:44.640 Oh, we already, you know, she wasn't going to, like, whatever I was going to say, like,

00:33:48.760 either way.

00:33:49.560 It's just, it's just, like, at that point, it's just opinion.

00:33:52.420 Yeah. And then we were talking about, right before this, we were talking about, like,

00:33:55.640 conspiracy theories about us.

00:33:57.300 Oh, yeah.

00:33:58.100 And one of, I mean, well, yeah, one of mine going around right now is that, like, I'm a

00:34:03.040 government plant that was put here right before Pride Month to, like, take down families

00:34:08.860 and the church.

00:34:09.960 The way that they, the way that they give us way too much credit.

00:34:11.940 Well, yes, but also, I'm, like, I'm the first one to believe anything.

00:34:15.940 And, well, first of all, you do so much sarcasm.

00:34:17.900 Like, the Chris Olsen episode is all sarcasm, and it goes right over my head.

00:34:22.000 But, like, when I was watching this video about myself, that was, like, literally about

00:34:26.860 Made Up Lies.

00:34:27.900 Yes, yes, Made Up Lies.

00:34:29.080 I'm like, oh, my God, maybe they're right.

00:34:30.600 Like, I was like, because, well, I'm the first one to join a cult.

00:34:34.080 Like, if somebody's jumping off a cliff, I'm going with them.

00:34:37.100 And so I'm like, wow, I'm, you know, I'm in the Illuminati, and I didn't even know it.

00:34:41.280 Yeah, I kind of like the idea of Wigs because then I could be a different person every time

00:34:44.600 you saw me.

00:34:45.480 And, like, I love a good rebrand.

00:34:47.100 A rebrand?

00:34:47.920 We support a rebrand.

00:34:48.880 I rebrand every week.

00:34:50.040 We were just talking about how cringe we were when we were younger.

00:34:53.440 And you were a big fan of rebrands.

00:34:55.120 I was, I've been rebranding before people knew what rebranding was. 0.95

00:34:57.740 When I was 14, I was like, okay, I'm going to be, like, super slutty and, like, crazy. 0.93

00:35:03.180 So, like, that was my brand. 0.96

00:35:04.460 But, like, I wasn't actually slutty.

00:35:05.960 I just wanted to wear high-waisted shorts.

00:35:08.240 So, like, minority people, I feel like you feel me on this.

00:35:11.020 But, obviously, you don't because you're punctual.

00:35:13.380 Whatever, bragger.

00:35:14.160 It's the Capricorn.

00:35:15.880 Don't blame me.

00:35:16.700 Like, for me, it's like, okay, let's say you're throwing a party, right?

00:35:19.680 Like a barbecue.

00:35:21.020 You invite all your friends.

00:35:22.580 You're like, hey, be here at 12.

00:35:25.000 And they're like, okay.

00:35:25.820 It's a family party, like, barbecue at the house, right?

00:35:28.740 And then you don't start getting ready until, like, 11.30.

00:35:31.920 And then your white friends show up at 12.

00:35:34.440 And you're like, you're early.

00:35:36.000 And they're like, you said 12.

00:35:37.720 And then you're like, that means two.

00:35:39.440 I thought you knew that.

00:35:40.420 And then they're helping your family set up.

00:35:42.280 You know what I mean?

00:35:42.620 They're, like, opening chairs and, like, folding tables.

00:35:45.300 Is that you?

00:35:46.220 You're literally stepping on my neck with full-blown stiletto heels. 1.00

00:35:49.920 Do you show up early and help set up?

00:35:52.640 Well, I would literally be in the kitchen probably with your mom.

00:35:55.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:56.440 You sit there, like, what do you mean with a carrot?

00:35:58.880 A video of a Samoan man saying that non-Samoan or Polynesian people blindly getting Samoan Polynesian tattoos is an example of cultural appropriation.

00:36:08.340 And obviously, they were getting lit up in the comments.

00:36:10.740 And I'd love to know your thoughts on that, just in general.

00:36:14.740 Yeah.

00:36:15.100 Yeah.

00:36:15.740 Around non-Samoans getting... 1.00

00:36:17.280 Yeah.

00:36:18.000 Listen, so, you know, in LA, in Hollywood, you go to the gym.

00:36:22.820 If I guarantee you, at least once a week, you're going to find a white man wearing... 0.85

00:36:26.120 Someone tribal. 0.98

00:36:27.660 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:28.980 And I remember I was like, you know what?

00:36:32.620 I'm going to go and talk to them, you know, engage in conversation.

00:36:35.500 So, I'd go up to them and I'd be like, hey, I'd really love to know what made you get this, where you found out about it, where you found this design, and what made you get it.

00:36:45.540 And I'll take a photo of them.

00:36:47.140 And one guy was just like, I just got it because I thought it looked hot.

00:36:50.500 I was just like...

00:36:51.380 Hot?

00:36:52.240 Not hot.

00:36:53.660 On you?

00:36:54.680 And I was like, first of all, you are not hot.

00:36:57.040 A lot of people are used to, like, creators getting in front of a camera, tears streaming down their face, like, hey, guys, stop saying mean things to me.

00:37:03.060 Yeah.

00:37:03.640 I don't care.

00:37:06.200 Neither do I.

00:37:07.060 To keep it a buck.

00:37:07.620 I don't care. 0.99

00:37:09.320 Like, if it's not paying my bills and eating my coochie, I don't give a shit about it. 0.98

00:37:14.440 I got nothing else to say. 0.98

00:37:15.900 That's it.

00:37:16.340 That's my statement.

00:37:17.000 Yeah.

00:37:18.360 That's it.

00:37:19.400 And I've said this many times, but beauty is subjective.

00:37:23.040 So, what's beautiful to one person may not be beautiful to the next.

00:37:26.360 So, I always, like...

00:37:27.240 And the people watching Instagram reels will let you know that.

00:37:30.160 They don't like your makeup. 1.00

00:37:31.540 They will say some shit. 1.00

00:37:32.560 Yeah, literally. 1.00

00:37:33.580 Y'all hoes need a job. 1.00

00:37:34.580 I have countless, countless, countless men telling me all the time how ugly I am. 0.92

00:37:38.780 I can imagine.

00:37:40.000 The amount of times...

00:37:40.880 That's so sick.

00:37:41.720 That's why someone was like, I don't get why it doesn't bother you. 0.99

00:37:44.400 I'm like, because they're ugly.

00:37:47.320 Because I dated my first boyfriend when I was fresh out of high school.

00:37:51.420 And then we ended up getting married.

00:37:53.380 So, I was only in one relationship.

00:37:54.840 But the things that I hear, like my friends telling me, and the things that I see on YouTube

00:37:58.640 with the men just being like, oh, what do you bring to the table?

00:38:01.320 I'm like, what?

00:38:03.220 I'm like, if Andrew ever asked me that, we are swinging.

00:38:09.040 We're just going at it.

00:38:10.780 I never understand that comment.

00:38:12.640 I'm just like, what do you mean what I mean to the...

00:38:14.100 I bring more than you.

00:38:15.260 Yeah, well, I always think, like, you...

00:38:18.720 I've said this before, but like, the whole what do you bring to the table argument.

00:38:22.000 I've said before, you don't have a seat at this table, so you don't need to worry about

00:38:26.020 what's being served.

00:38:26.940 The kids' table is over there.

00:38:27.940 Yeah.

00:38:28.520 Babe, you don't even have the address to the restaurant.

00:38:31.000 You're not invited to this table.

00:38:32.820 That's what I always say.

00:38:34.000 Don't worry about it, because you're not sitting here eating.

00:38:36.920 That's what I always say.

00:38:37.400 Don't worry, love.

00:38:38.300 Yeah.

00:38:38.640 Don't worry, bruv.

00:38:39.560 Don't worry, bruv.

00:38:40.380 Right here, this thing about you, right?

00:38:41.800 That literally reminds me of today.

00:38:46.780 Today, I'm walking to get food with my manager, and I'm just walking across the street like

00:38:52.720 people do.

00:38:53.540 Yeah.

00:38:53.860 Okay.

00:38:54.240 Have you ever seen someone walk across the street before?

00:38:56.120 It's normal.

00:38:57.000 It's fine.

00:38:57.740 Looking at their phone, like, it's literally fine.

00:38:59.580 This guy is, like, turning, and he goes, you should smile.

00:39:03.700 And I go...

00:39:04.480 Today?

00:39:05.060 Today.

00:39:05.540 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:39:05.840 And I stop in the middle of the street, and I go, what the fuck did you just say to 1.00

00:39:08.500 me? 0.99

00:39:09.560 Like, fully...

00:39:10.440 And then he goes, whoa!

00:39:13.060 Well, I didn't mean anything by it.

00:39:14.680 And it's like, what did you mean, actually, though?

00:39:16.480 Like, what did you...

00:39:17.100 Why are you now... 1.00

00:39:18.180 The minute I say, what the fuck were you just talking about? 0.99

00:39:20.460 Yeah. 0.99

00:39:20.760 Like, why did...

00:39:21.680 What are you talking about?

00:39:22.440 What are you talking about?

00:39:23.280 Smile more.

00:39:23.300 Who are you talking to?

00:39:24.100 Me?

00:39:24.700 Yeah.

00:39:25.040 And then you just get this straight-up defense.

00:39:26.700 It's like the same thing.

00:39:27.680 It's just online.

00:39:28.520 It's like...

00:39:29.040 Immediately.

00:39:29.220 The minute we respond with some sort of anger or just anything...

00:39:32.940 Distaste, yeah, of any kind.

00:39:34.260 I'm just like, whoa! 1.00

00:39:34.680 You crazy bitch! 1.00

00:39:36.980 In a second, what if I am? 1.00

00:39:38.500 Also, superheroes are so gay. 0.99

00:39:40.800 Like, tight-ass suits. 1.00

00:39:44.540 It's giving gay. 1.00

00:39:46.640 A long cape? 1.00

00:39:47.940 Honey, that's gay. 1.00

00:39:49.120 Well, if anything, it's camp. 0.99

00:39:51.680 You know what I mean?

00:39:52.420 At the end of the day.

00:39:53.480 It's a serve and it's a sleigh. 0.99

00:39:55.080 Also, like, gay people eating cereal like Tony the Tiger wasn't gay as hell the whole time. 0.97

00:39:59.900 Like, you know what I mean? 0.97

00:40:00.840 They're great!

00:40:02.040 Like, okay, girl!

00:40:03.940 I wish that more people would just embrace the doctrine of being a hater.

00:40:08.780 Because, like, if you want to be a hater, like, be a hater.

00:40:11.580 Like, that's fine.

00:40:12.420 But don't, like, attach some, like, faux, like, pseudoscience morality to it.

00:40:18.540 Like, well, this is actually why this person is justifiably hateable.

00:40:21.640 It's like, just say that you're, like, you know, a little bitter about whatever and, like, you don't like him.

00:40:26.140 Like, it's fine.

00:40:26.460 Story of my life, though.

00:40:27.620 Oh, my God.

00:40:28.720 I'm like, wouldn't it just be easier to say hate women?

00:40:30.600 And, like, I just feel like it's, like, a shortcut.

00:40:33.440 Like, I don't need to hear the, like, well, this is, like, honestly, in my opinion, in your opinion, that doesn't make it fact.

00:40:40.220 That's the sad part is, like, you could say anything and it doesn't mean it's true.

00:40:44.080 I saw TikTok.

00:40:44.820 I was like, when you know to avoid him on the days his team has lost a match.

00:40:50.820 You avoid him by never dating him or talking to him ever again.

00:40:53.560 Call the police is how you avoid him.

00:40:56.240 Yeah, literally.

00:40:57.800 Pack up your things and leave.

00:40:59.020 Do you hear a match losing and you're like, I should leave my own house? 0.98

00:41:03.960 I'll be damned.

00:41:04.600 We're living in a Black Mirror episode. 0.96

00:41:06.340 What is happening?

00:41:06.980 I'll be damned if Tom Brady runs me out my own house. 1.00

00:41:09.820 I'll be damned, bitch. 1.00

00:41:11.160 And, oh, my God. 1.00

00:41:11.980 Imagine if, like, Tyler Oakley had tea and I'm like, I'm pissed.

00:41:16.260 The world will feel my wrath today because James Charles pellet or whatever.

00:41:23.160 Get out.

00:41:25.400 How dare you? 1.00

00:41:26.320 I go and punch a hole in the wall because of it. 0.97

00:41:29.020 It's cause structural damage.

00:41:30.360 It's so funny.

00:41:32.060 You know what's crazy?

00:41:33.320 On our platform, especially on Twitch.

00:41:35.580 Yeah.

00:41:36.060 Oof.

00:41:37.200 There is this logic that I cannot seem to wrap my head around.

00:41:40.400 Yeah.

00:41:40.740 Where guys are so mad at women for having cleavage while streaming. 0.99

00:41:46.740 I've seen that.

00:41:47.720 I've been tagged and stuff like that.

00:41:48.540 Wait a second.

00:41:49.380 On Twitter.

00:41:50.200 You don't want to see boobies? 1.00

00:41:52.180 It doesn't ever be like that.

00:41:54.700 I don't really care.

00:41:55.940 Do you care?

00:41:56.700 I think that all the time. 0.99

00:41:58.880 But the crazy shit is they will equate it to insane stuff. 0.98

00:42:03.020 Someone will, like, not actually. 0.98

00:42:06.020 But if someone, like, kills someone else and then is banned off Twitch, they'll be like, 0.75

00:42:10.100 Yeah, but these women with cleavage. 1.00

00:42:12.180 It's just as bad.

00:42:14.060 Yeah.

00:42:15.220 I've been there.

00:42:15.980 How did you get here?

00:42:17.100 Can we talk about how I feel like the main guys who talk about women being gold diggers

00:42:21.780 have no gold at all.

00:42:22.800 That's what I'm saying.

00:42:23.640 I'd be the worst gold digger on planet Earth if I was trying to dig on you.

00:42:26.880 Like, what?

00:42:27.420 Like, I feel like in order for someone to be a gold digger, you have to have something

00:42:30.720 that is worth digging for.

00:42:33.380 There's nothing.

00:42:34.260 Like, I would not even pick up a shovel for you.

00:42:36.260 Like, there's just nothing to get here.

00:42:38.100 I wouldn't even go into Home Depot for you, to be honest.

00:42:39.380 Literally. 1.00

00:42:39.960 Like, first of all, your personality is shit. 1.00

00:42:41.740 Yeah. 1.00

00:42:42.180 You don't have any money.

00:42:43.720 You don't, like, do anything that would ever make me attracted to you.

00:42:48.360 Like, I just don't get it. 0.99

00:42:49.220 Well, and it's like, men with money don't say shit like that. 0.99

00:42:52.320 Let's talk about that. 0.99

00:42:52.900 They literally don't.

00:42:53.800 This last comment on this video says, uh, all these women can never have the same confidence 1.00

00:43:00.340 without their makeup.

00:43:01.800 He wrote, without their little makeup box pack.

00:43:06.500 What the hell is that?

00:43:08.680 We need to ask. 0.86

00:43:10.080 Whatever the hell that means.

00:43:11.620 What is that?

00:43:12.760 Little makeup box pack.

00:43:15.260 I have a makeup kit, but like, is that what they're talking about?

00:43:18.140 I assume so.

00:43:19.440 I just, I don't know how you have the strength to get, like, wake up and be like, these girls

00:43:25.580 would never have confidence without their little makeup box pack.

00:43:29.640 Like, babe.

00:43:31.640 I was in high school.

00:43:32.420 My first job was at Six Flags.

00:43:34.460 I lasted one day there.

00:43:36.920 No way.

00:43:38.300 They hired me.

00:43:39.420 So I got hired at 15.

00:43:40.700 I don't even know if that was legal.

00:43:42.120 Oh, I was like 15.

00:43:43.480 Yeah.

00:43:43.740 And they were like, okay, here's a math test. 1.00

00:43:46.400 And bitch, I'm so bad at math. 0.99

00:43:47.820 Like, don't ask me anything about fractions. 1.00

00:43:49.620 Why'd they give you a math test?

00:43:50.920 At Six Flags.

00:43:52.080 Like, why do I need that?

00:43:53.660 You needed to know math to do this.

00:43:55.460 I know.

00:43:56.480 And then, so I took it, failed it.

00:43:59.960 And, um, they were like, thanks. 1.00

00:44:02.540 So you're the garbage man. 0.98

00:44:04.320 They literally made me pick up trash. 0.75

00:44:05.960 That was a test.

00:44:07.200 Yes.

00:44:07.760 So double test.

00:44:08.920 Now you can pick up trash. 0.97

00:44:09.620 Do you have like a white person laugh? 0.75

00:44:11.120 I have one.

00:44:11.900 Oh, absolutely.

00:44:12.540 I actually had a bit about that.

00:44:17.080 I don't know.

00:44:17.340 I just started talking about the white person laugh.

00:44:19.740 It's true.

00:44:20.400 It's like, it's like your, um, it's a full customer service voice.

00:44:24.400 It's the same kind of what, you know, when you're on the phone with like the bank or something

00:44:27.780 and then they're like making jokes and you're like, I know.

00:44:31.860 Crazy.

00:44:32.580 Yeah.

00:44:32.940 Yeah.

00:44:34.800 And they're like, executive decisions.

00:44:39.000 Like what part of executive decisions has you rolling?

00:44:42.240 Like that, but we're going to get this money.

00:44:46.040 Listen, one thing about us, I'm going to stay in my bag.

00:44:49.000 That's for sure.

00:44:49.960 Oh, prayer.

00:44:50.500 Fire them off.

00:44:51.480 I've been getting discounts.

00:44:52.060 I got lots of fake laughs.

00:44:53.500 You know what I mean?

00:44:54.320 And that's it sometimes.

00:44:57.100 If you laugh at my joke, I'm not giving you anything.

00:44:59.500 But if I laugh at your joke, I'm getting discounts.

00:45:01.580 I'm laughing away.

00:45:04.700 One time I woke up at like maybe 4 p.m.

00:45:06.960 And I had, I had unfortunately ruined my, my comforter.

00:45:11.140 Um, and I called my mom to be like, is, can my comforter go in the wash?

00:45:14.820 Naturally.

00:45:15.300 I just wanted to check with her.

00:45:16.680 And she informed me that at 4 p.m.

00:45:19.080 that it was her birthday and I had forgotten.

00:45:22.940 And I called her and she was expecting me to say, happy birthday, mom.

00:45:26.980 And I said, Hey, can my comforter go in the wash? 0.99

00:45:29.220 You're like, oh my God, I shit myself, mom. 0.98

00:45:30.520 No, luckily it was the other way. 0.99

00:45:33.100 Oh, throw up. 1.00

00:45:33.720 Throw up.

00:45:34.180 But I was like.

00:45:34.980 Oh my God, now you're throwing up on your own comforter.

00:45:36.600 I know.

00:45:37.120 In the night.

00:45:37.880 Dangerous.

00:45:38.240 And you're like, mom, please, can you help me?

00:45:40.140 Can this go in the, is this, can I try to clean this?

00:45:42.480 And she's like, it's my birthday.

00:45:43.960 I'm out to dinner with your father right now.

00:45:46.000 You're like, happy birthday, by the way.

00:45:47.260 I was like, oh my God.

00:45:48.500 And I went online and I express shipped her an edible arrangement.

00:45:51.800 And I was like, oh, good thing your present's on its way.

00:45:54.100 I'm like, that's another reason.

00:45:55.060 Pay $20 express shipping, like right now.

00:45:57.340 That's another reason I was calling you.

00:45:58.540 I was like, I'm literally on the phone with edible arrangements right now.

00:46:01.600 Oh my God.

00:46:01.980 Oh, I gotta go.

00:46:02.760 Edible arrangements is calling me.

00:46:04.080 But I do have a specific memory from, I think I was six.

00:46:06.460 It was our first time to Hawaii.

00:46:07.540 Oh yeah.

00:46:08.460 Big Island.

00:46:09.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:09.500 First time experiencing.

00:46:10.160 I love Big Island.

00:46:10.840 It's beautiful.

00:46:11.900 Yeah.

00:46:12.180 We were.

00:46:13.240 What side did you stay on?

00:46:14.740 Hilo or Kona?

00:46:15.740 We were on Kona's side.

00:46:16.660 Oh yeah, same.

00:46:17.540 Yeah.

00:46:18.220 My auntie and uncle have like a place up on the volcano.

00:46:20.940 Oh, cool.

00:46:21.860 Love.

00:46:22.240 Or they used to.

00:46:23.100 Yeah.

00:46:23.380 But we went down to the beach and it was my first time experiencing like the waves in Hawaii.

00:46:29.660 Different.

00:46:30.260 It's open ocean waves.

00:46:31.360 Yeah.

00:46:31.540 It's nothing compared to anything that you're going to find in the continental US.

00:46:35.300 Not even a little.

00:46:35.960 I was six years old.

00:46:37.640 Going out there. 1.00

00:46:39.600 Minding my damn business. 1.00

00:46:41.160 And that wave completely just took me out. 1.00

00:46:45.120 And I'm standing there butt ass naked. 0.99

00:46:50.500 You lost your bottom? 1.00

00:46:51.700 Yeah.

00:46:52.700 They were gone.

00:46:54.540 That's how rough the waves were?

00:46:55.960 Yeah.

00:46:56.400 They just.

00:46:56.980 At least it was that and not me swept out the seat.

00:46:59.740 But I was like sitting there crying because like what am I?

00:47:01.880 I'm six.

00:47:03.480 Like I don't.

00:47:04.340 I'm not emotionally capable of handling this.

00:47:06.640 Everybody on the beach laughing because it's like oh haha that looks like him.

00:47:10.820 The traumatized kid.

00:47:12.020 And you're just like a little too old for it to be cute.

00:47:15.500 You come up and they're like oh.

00:47:17.640 Did you see bros?

00:47:19.120 I did actually.

00:47:20.380 So what I loved about that was a rom-com for the gays. 0.99

00:47:23.820 Yeah.

00:47:24.440 And for everybody.

00:47:25.940 Yeah.

00:47:26.060 But like watching rom-coms growing up you know you see like men and women kissing and

00:47:32.060 like partaking in sexual activity that like you don't really blink an eye.

00:47:37.160 Yeah. 0.99

00:47:37.580 I was watching bros and though I like experience gay sex I don't know. 1.00

00:47:45.100 Julian's gay. 0.99

00:47:46.040 I don't know if anyone knows.

00:47:47.540 Yes.

00:47:48.140 I'm coming out today.

00:47:50.340 I'm gay.

00:47:51.260 And it's a safe space here.

00:47:52.720 I'm gay.

00:47:53.680 I'm gay.

00:47:54.200 Um and I love it.

00:47:56.500 Yeah.

00:47:56.940 Um but um I was gonna say watching it on screen watching two men like be intimate.

00:48:05.120 Yeah.

00:48:05.720 Even though I experience it I like you almost cringe a little bit.

00:48:09.460 Yeah.

00:48:09.600 Because you're like.

00:48:10.400 That's such a good point.

00:48:11.140 Not used to seeing for for me gay men in love like represented on screen. 1.00

00:48:19.080 Yeah.

00:48:19.680 Okay this next comment says I don't understand why someone doesn't take advantage of the

00:48:24.120 husbands at the mall and open a man shop with men's stuff to do so I think it says so his

00:48:32.740 women can shop. 1.00

00:48:34.660 Huh?

00:48:35.100 A man shop.

00:48:37.360 A man shop.

00:48:38.100 Is that like.

00:48:39.160 What would be in the man shop?

00:48:40.380 I'm not a man so maybe I just don't know.

00:48:42.220 Hats.

00:48:43.720 What do they have in there?

00:48:45.380 Hammers.

00:48:46.100 Tank tops.

00:48:48.340 Cargo shorts.

00:48:50.720 I'm thinking of like man shop. 0.99

00:48:54.980 What the f***? 0.97

00:48:55.720 Sometimes I'm with my boyfriend and I realize I've been talking for 10 minutes and he has 0.99

00:48:59.520 a set of things and then I look at him and he's like.

00:49:02.780 Story of my life.

00:49:03.240 He's like.

00:49:04.280 I feel like he's slumped over that I'm like oh yeah I burned him out.

00:49:08.140 He hit his limit with me like I needed.

00:49:10.480 And then I'm like I'm just sitting there in my thoughts like what was I even saying?

00:49:14.660 Dude.

00:49:14.860 Oh my God.

00:49:15.600 Sometimes my boyfriend like I was just telling my mom this the other day.

00:49:19.340 I'll talk and I'll start with like I wanted to tell him something I saw on Instagram.

00:49:25.680 Yeah.

00:49:25.980 And I'll end up talking about like the Japanese Imperial Army.

00:49:30.440 How did I get there?

00:49:31.620 I literally was like wait.

00:49:32.940 And I'll go.

00:49:33.540 I'll literally go on this crazy journey.

00:49:35.500 It'll take me 30 minutes.

00:49:36.400 He'll listen to the entire thing.

00:49:38.040 And then at the end he goes what were you telling me originally?

00:49:40.900 Like something about Instagram?

00:49:41.740 I go oh right.

00:49:42.960 Yeah.

00:49:43.120 Like that's how I talk to him all the time. 0.99

00:49:45.380 Oh I don't wash up there because that's gay. 1.00

00:49:47.880 That drives me insane. 1.00

00:49:50.460 It's gay to take care of your body. 1.00

00:49:52.380 Uh huh. 1.00

00:49:52.880 You know what's more gay? 1.00

00:49:53.640 Being afraid of your own butthole. 1.00

00:49:55.200 And I'm convinced this is a big problem of why toxic masculinity is. 0.99

00:49:59.260 And I'm about to go on a rant.

00:50:00.660 Men are afraid of their own buttholes. 0.76

00:50:02.580 I'm sure.

00:50:03.740 Could you imagine not being aware of all parts of your body?

00:50:06.520 Which then leads them to not get prostate checks which causes cancer.

00:50:10.820 That's that's I mean that's serious.

00:50:12.520 That's a really good point. 1.00

00:50:13.560 But then also can you imagine thinking that it makes you more of a man to have poop in your butt? 1.00

00:50:19.320 I can't. 1.00

00:50:20.220 I cannot. 1.00

00:50:21.380 That's how I feel about that shit all the time when they're like oh I would never date you. 1.00

00:50:24.780 Same. 1.00

00:50:25.480 Yeah.

00:50:26.260 Period.

00:50:26.720 Okay twin.

00:50:27.980 Twin.

00:50:28.660 Okay.

00:50:29.640 Go off king.

00:50:30.660 Yeah.

00:50:34.160 Yeah.

00:50:34.780 Exactly.

00:50:35.020 I love that for us.

00:50:36.060 I love that we're on the same page.

00:50:37.360 I think that's so great for us.

00:50:38.640 I'm so proud of us.

00:50:40.060 I didn't even have to I didn't have to lead you there.

00:50:41.840 You found your way there on your own.

00:50:43.020 I love that.

00:50:44.040 I don't know.

00:50:44.580 I don't know.

00:50:44.600 The icks.

00:50:45.160 I've seen ones of like men jumping in like when they jump in a pool but plug their nose.

00:50:49.460 Oh my god.

00:50:50.320 Why would they do that?

00:50:51.540 Why would you do that?

00:50:52.620 I don't know.

00:50:52.940 What are you scared of?

00:50:53.540 Like you're scared of the water.

00:50:54.120 Let it go up there is what I think.

00:50:55.240 Yeah.

00:50:55.640 That's what I'd rather do that than be filmed doing that.

00:50:58.300 Oh my god.

00:50:58.900 Watching them go like you know what I mean.

00:51:00.920 Ew.

00:51:01.280 Ew.

00:51:01.820 Ew.

00:51:01.900 No no no.

00:51:03.260 Watching them shiver.

00:51:04.160 I'm so icked out right now.

00:51:05.040 When it's cold outside like they get a little chill.

00:51:07.080 Or being cold at all.

00:51:07.800 Like why are you cold?

00:51:10.100 Don't.

00:51:10.500 Yeah.

00:51:10.820 Don't be cold.

00:51:12.100 Simply don't.

00:51:12.960 I don't know.

00:51:13.700 Yeah.

00:51:14.080 But also no blankets for you.

00:51:16.020 I've always said that.

00:51:16.980 No blankets.

00:51:17.980 But.

00:51:18.920 That's just.

00:51:19.560 Don't feel.

00:51:20.320 Those are only for the girls. 0.77

00:51:21.920 Yeah.

00:51:22.320 For the girls.

00:51:23.260 Not the guys.

00:51:23.920 You guys don't need those.

00:51:24.860 For what?

00:51:25.340 For what?

00:51:26.020 You're so manly.

00:51:26.820 You should be warm.

00:51:28.020 You have all of.

00:51:30.100 You're the patriarchy.

00:51:31.500 You should have some warmth in you.

00:51:33.620 I don't know.

00:51:34.200 Have you ever seen those videos?

00:51:35.440 This was a trend on TikTok for a while.

00:51:36.780 But these girls were like showing. 1.00

00:51:38.860 Or explaining what they took a picture of.

00:51:41.080 And they thought it was a private part.

00:51:42.640 But it wasn't.

00:51:43.640 Like it was like this part.

00:51:44.460 Yeah.

00:51:44.560 Yeah.

00:51:44.740 Yeah.

00:51:44.980 Yeah.

00:51:45.160 Yeah.

00:51:45.480 I feel like I've done that before.

00:51:47.560 And then I like zoomed out.

00:51:48.880 And I was like got you.

00:51:51.540 Or like it's like their knee.

00:51:53.260 Yeah.

00:51:54.060 And they're like.

00:51:54.660 But you thought that was something huh? 1.00

00:51:56.140 Idiot. 1.00

00:51:56.560 You thought that was my booty? 1.00

00:51:58.020 Yeah.

00:51:59.660 Wrong.

00:52:00.180 You thought that was.

00:52:00.600 It's my knee pit.

00:52:01.300 Right.

00:52:02.080 And that's the funniest part about it. 1.00

00:52:03.380 Because they're so dumb. 1.00

00:52:04.240 They'll fall for it. 1.00

00:52:04.980 So they're like.

00:52:05.620 Oh.

00:52:06.420 Yeah.

00:52:06.960 And then they're like.

00:52:07.540 Don't send me a picture back though.

00:52:08.900 I don't need that. 1.00

00:52:09.240 They're so dumb. 1.00

00:52:09.940 Like you're foaming at the mouth at my armpit. 1.00

00:52:13.160 Like. 0.98

00:52:14.360 Get help.

00:52:15.160 Get help.

00:52:15.660 As I said get help.

00:52:16.900 You need help.

00:52:17.480 This is literally the crease between my toes.

00:52:19.960 Love you though.

00:52:20.940 You like that?

00:52:21.720 You like that? 0.99

00:52:22.160 Sicko. 0.96

00:52:22.560 I had a beautiful girlfriend of mine. 1.00

00:52:25.240 Just like the definition of a bad bitch. 1.00

00:52:27.520 She went on a date that was so bad that she's like I just I don't want to date for a really 0.99

00:52:32.880 long time.

00:52:33.400 But I said. 1.00

00:52:34.020 Damn. 0.99

00:52:34.220 Like my love. 1.00

00:52:35.280 The fact that you allowed the date to go that long.

00:52:38.760 Yeah.

00:52:39.120 And it was like a two hour.

00:52:40.340 Like you should have left five minutes in.

00:52:42.920 And that comes from like this people pleasing.

00:52:45.100 Exactly.

00:52:45.600 This wanting.

00:52:45.900 And that's not her fault.

00:52:46.840 It's not her fault.

00:52:47.620 No.

00:52:48.000 It's not her fault.

00:52:48.900 But I think that that's something that should be promoted.

00:52:52.140 When you're not having a good time.

00:52:53.260 When someone's making you feel uncomfortable.

00:52:54.640 When someone's disrespecting you.

00:52:55.720 Yeah.

00:52:56.500 You're just just not having a good time period.

00:52:58.900 Yeah.

00:52:59.060 You don't owe anyone anything.

00:53:00.680 Yeah.

00:53:01.020 And in fact I would be hurt if someone was sitting across.

00:53:04.820 For me and didn't want to be there.

00:53:06.360 Yeah.

00:53:06.580 Like don't stay if you don't want to be there.

00:53:08.460 Yeah.

00:53:08.620 In any situation.

00:53:09.740 Business.

00:53:10.220 Romantic.

00:53:10.760 Friendship.

00:53:11.260 Yeah.

00:53:11.460 People should only be in spaces that they desire to be in.

00:53:15.520 Yeah.

00:53:16.060 And to think that you're doing someone a favor by enduring it is actually it's backwards.

00:53:23.900 Yeah. 0.89

00:53:24.040 Like it's f***ed up.

00:53:24.980 I wouldn't want someone to do that to me.

00:53:26.280 Well and it's not fair to you.

00:53:28.140 One of my friends she's lesbian. 1.00

00:53:30.220 And we were like having this conversation about how like when guys call me gay I'm like the

00:53:34.440 most this would be the most extreme solution.

00:53:36.600 Yeah.

00:53:37.000 But like if a guy's like oh you're gay and I'm like well thank you but I'm not but we 0.99

00:53:40.940 can solve this. 0.71

00:53:41.880 Like what if we just like drop our pants.

00:53:44.440 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:45.140 Put on some gay porn. 1.00

00:53:46.380 Kiss me on the lips right now. 1.00

00:53:47.520 Yeah.

00:53:47.700 Kiss me.

00:53:48.100 Let's let's see.

00:53:49.080 Let's make out and see who gets hard.

00:53:50.780 That's it.

00:53:52.780 Let's let's just try it out man.

00:53:54.660 Listen.

00:53:55.120 Let's see.

00:53:55.520 I may tell a joke but I never tell a lie.

00:53:58.520 Yeah.

00:53:58.960 You know.

00:53:59.720 If you think about who's the best multitasker you know she identifies as a woman.

00:54:05.060 That's a woman. 1.00

00:54:05.660 Every single time.

00:54:06.260 Who's the most successful person you know and crypto doesn't count.

00:54:09.560 Fake money.

00:54:10.440 Fake money doesn't count.

00:54:11.840 No it doesn't.

00:54:12.560 Who is the happiest person you know.

00:54:14.020 As far as I know crypto is like Roblox.

00:54:15.800 It's the same.

00:54:16.480 What even is Roblox?

00:54:17.840 That I don't know either.

00:54:18.740 It's crypto.

00:54:19.700 Oh.

00:54:19.960 That's what it is.

00:54:20.520 Is it really?

00:54:20.860 I thought it was like Minecraft like a game.

00:54:22.980 I don't know. 1.00

00:54:23.600 All of them are going to be like she's so f***ing dumb because she doesn't. 1.00

00:54:29.280 I don't care. 1.00

00:54:30.480 A lot of people say a lot of s*** that I do is like insecure and what?

00:54:35.840 What are we going to do from here? 0.57

00:54:37.460 Okay.

00:54:37.780 It's insecure.

00:54:38.400 You can label it.

00:54:39.040 Cool.

00:54:39.520 Okay.

00:54:40.080 I'm still upset about it.

00:54:42.560 That's fair.

00:54:43.420 How I feel is how I feel.

00:54:44.400 You're so real for that.

00:54:45.320 It's not going away.

00:54:46.300 You're so real for that.

00:54:47.220 Okay and what?

00:54:47.960 Well then I think like if you want me to be that girl I will.

00:54:50.860 That bothers me.

00:54:52.120 That makes me uncomfortable.

00:54:53.160 I don't like when you do that so don't do it anymore and I said but believe it or not

00:54:57.560 I didn't have to ask my boyfriend to not do that.

00:54:59.960 He just doesn't do it.

00:55:01.360 The ones that get it just get it.

00:55:02.980 That's what I'm saying like if you're so real like that's so true like okay and so don't

00:55:09.960 date me then.

00:55:10.960 You know what I mean?

00:55:11.880 Like okay.

00:55:13.220 Literally.

00:55:13.620 Okay.

00:55:14.580 This first video this is a guy who's talking to the camera and he's saying there's a little

00:55:21.080 bit of confusion because like he's in quotes because when somebody's overweight everyone

00:55:26.520 praises them when they flaunt slash model their body but when somebody is in great shape

00:55:32.580 and flaunt slash models their body everyone says they're conceited.

00:55:37.180 Who's everyone?

00:55:38.740 Who says that?

00:55:40.440 Who tells hot people hey put it away?

00:55:43.380 I don't want to see that.

00:55:44.860 Who says that?

00:55:46.140 Who does that?

00:55:46.920 I think it's just so wild to me because why are you thinking about overweight people?

00:55:51.860 Like why are you so worried about us?

00:55:53.600 You're so worried about us.

00:55:54.540 So worried.

00:55:55.340 Yeah.

00:55:55.480 It's like maybe because I'm hotter than you.

00:55:57.760 Like sorry.

00:55:58.400 Maybe get your bread up.

00:55:59.240 I don't know.

00:56:00.240 Take it up with God.

00:56:01.840 Clearly he hates you more than I do. 1.00

00:56:03.820 That's stupid. 0.99

00:56:05.420 Sorry. 1.00

00:56:06.040 What a stupid thing to say. 1.00

00:56:08.560 Hot people. 1.00

00:56:09.440 Thin people.

00:56:10.420 They're so oppressed.

00:56:12.120 Nobody ever wants to see them.

00:56:13.980 Ever.

00:56:14.760 Nobody in a bikini.

00:56:15.640 Nobody.

00:56:16.020 Surfing.

00:56:16.440 I don't want to see.

00:56:17.360 I don't want to see that.

00:56:18.400 Put that away.

00:56:18.980 You shouldn't be long on Sports Illustrated.

00:56:21.060 Yeah.

00:56:21.640 That's not your spot.

00:56:22.360 Yeah.

00:56:22.780 I'm taking it.

00:56:23.680 I'm taking it.

00:56:25.000 Oh no.

00:56:25.620 You're right.

00:56:26.060 I've made fun of British men a few times.

00:56:27.940 But their threats make no sense.

00:56:29.440 Like when they insult you I'm like are you like casting a spell or are you like it for

00:56:33.280 real?

00:56:33.300 Like what are you saying?

00:56:34.000 Yeah.

00:56:34.280 I like I can't tell.

00:56:35.380 I'm like you're just you're you just said a limerick to me.

00:56:38.500 Like it's not an insult.

00:56:39.640 I don't know what you said but it wasn't mean.

00:56:42.260 They need to up their game a little bit.

00:56:43.940 Maybe I'm just so uncultured.

00:56:45.280 I don't know.

00:56:46.060 But I don't know.

00:56:47.560 I can hurt their feelings pretty easy.

00:56:49.220 So.

00:56:50.060 Yeah.

00:56:50.380 They're very sensitive.

00:56:51.900 When you talk about like beans on toast that's like I actually said that in a video

00:56:56.020 got taken down and it said use of slurs.

00:56:58.580 I'm not even joking.

00:56:59.640 And what did you say?

00:57:01.180 I said that they eat beans on toast.

00:57:02.980 That was like the only like specific like British.

00:57:06.360 The only thing I could think of that was that.

00:57:09.160 So. 0.99

00:57:09.260 Damn. 1.00

00:57:09.480 And they said burn her. 1.00

00:57:10.900 Which.

00:57:11.300 So much comments of like my early videos with my sister was like you guys are you're so

00:57:16.560 mean to your sister.

00:57:17.520 And like I could never speak to my brother like that.

00:57:21.220 What?

00:57:22.940 Good.

00:57:23.380 Okay then don't.

00:57:23.900 We weren't raised like that girl.

00:57:25.860 We weren't.

00:57:26.560 Were you like if you had her as a sister you would talk like that to you?

00:57:29.300 I might.

00:57:30.380 Literally. 1.00

00:57:31.440 Bitch. 1.00

00:57:31.920 I'm like I'm sorry your sister loves you. 1.00

00:57:34.580 What do you want me to say?

00:57:35.480 I'm sorry you love your siblings.

00:57:36.860 Oh my god.

00:57:37.320 Like what?

00:57:39.440 What do you want me to do?

00:57:40.400 Like girl I didn't grow up with my siblings.

00:57:42.500 I also grew up with a mother who had like a hard time showing any types of affection. 1.00

00:57:47.400 So like the whole I love you thing with my siblings.

00:57:50.760 It's so hard.

00:57:51.600 Like I genuinely love my sister.

00:57:53.200 I genuinely.

00:57:53.820 And you probably.

00:57:54.540 Yes.

00:57:54.900 You do love your siblings.

00:57:55.940 Yeah.

00:57:55.980 Yeah.

00:57:56.200 We don't hug.

00:57:57.680 We don't be like saying.

00:57:58.960 Girl it takes me.

00:58:00.840 Even right now.

00:58:01.980 Like it's making me anxious to like think about complimenting my sister.

00:58:07.320 Okay. 0.98

00:58:08.240 As someone who has given a lot of fellatio and a lot of cunnilingus in my life. 1.00

00:58:15.260 I've eaten a lot of pussy and I've sucked a lot of dicks in my life. 1.00

00:58:19.640 I can guarantee. 1.00

00:58:21.300 First of all they are both delicious.

00:58:24.660 I love it.

00:58:27.340 It is so.

00:58:28.580 Also if you're going to roll the dice on hygiene.

00:58:30.800 Who do you think is more clean?

00:58:31.940 Oh yeah.

00:58:32.680 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:58:33.600 The pussy is going to more. 1.00

00:58:34.360 10 out of 10. 1.00

00:58:35.020 And vagina is self clean. 1.00

00:58:36.240 But also the thing about it is people who like sucking dick. 1.00

00:58:39.340 I mean not everyone. 1.00

00:58:40.560 This is not a blanket statement but sometimes people who like sucking dick they kind of don't 0.99

00:58:44.420 mind a little bit of a little experience. 1.00

00:58:47.760 A little like you know a little smell on the dick. 1.00

00:58:51.440 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:51.740 But also.

00:58:52.240 It's to be expected.

00:58:53.480 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:58:53.940 But also if you're eating a pussy and it smells like pussy. 1.00

00:58:56.400 Oh plot twist. 1.00

00:58:57.600 Yeah it's pussy bitch. 1.00

00:58:59.260 It's going to smell like pussy. 1.00

00:59:01.140 And it's going to taste like pussy. 1.00

00:59:02.780 You ordered the pussy and you're shocked that the pussy came to your table. 1.00

00:59:07.720 Yeah bitch. 1.00

00:59:08.760 That's nice. 1.00

00:59:09.200 That's beautiful.

00:59:09.700 It's nice to dream.

00:59:12.200 It's nice to have unattainable gold.

00:59:15.280 What else gets you out of bed in the morning?

00:59:17.060 I don't know.

00:59:17.380 Oh my god.

00:59:17.820 Coffee. 1.00

00:59:21.360 Don't talk to me until I've had three liters of coffee injected up my ass. 1.00

00:59:27.720 That's what people think when they think millennial. 1.00

00:59:29.980 They think coffee enema?

00:59:31.800 Yes.

00:59:32.420 No they think like the shirt that says like it's wine o'clock.

00:59:35.960 Oh it's five o'clock somewhere.

00:59:37.480 Yeah one of those.

00:59:38.760 You know what I mean?

00:59:38.980 It's five o'clock somewhere.

00:59:39.600 They use the word like doggo unironically.

00:59:42.120 Oh okay.

00:59:42.980 Now we're really getting into that.

00:59:44.320 That's older millennial but also white.

00:59:45.860 So then I think like when they say I'm a millennial they're like.

00:59:50.040 Oh white people. 0.99

00:59:51.060 Just get rid of them. 1.00

00:59:52.360 I'll go first.

00:59:53.120 I will go first.

00:59:54.540 You said I'll go first.

00:59:55.180 I will jump into the volcano first.

00:59:57.640 No I'm so sus.

01:00:00.620 Like I'm just so sus.

01:00:01.840 Like even if I like fly somewhere for a job.

01:00:03.960 I feel like I'm just like awkward.

01:00:06.300 And like I feel like I did something wrong.

01:00:08.060 And like you know I feel like that's just me.

01:00:11.100 I'm just really suspicious.

01:00:12.180 You just look at you and you're suspicious.

01:00:16.040 Yeah.

01:00:16.480 And that's probably why they make up conspiracy about you being the devil.

01:00:19.020 Totally.

01:00:19.480 It's because you're so suspicious.

01:00:20.360 It's because I'm anxious.

01:00:22.500 It's because I'm AD.

01:00:23.420 The devil is anxious.

01:00:24.640 Yeah the devil is really anxious.

01:00:26.340 The devil gets social anxiety.

01:00:27.700 Yeah totally.

01:00:28.760 Shaking.

01:00:30.400 And you know I've been saying this year to anyone like asking me for advice on business

01:00:34.880 and influencing like the greatest gift you can give yourself is the gift of self-awareness.

01:00:40.420 Yeah. 1.00

01:00:40.720 Like even if you just wash your wipe your ass bitch. 1.00

01:00:45.540 Krusty dusty comb your hair even if you don't have a hairline. 1.00

01:00:49.000 Like come on.

01:00:49.820 Yeah.

01:00:50.160 It's okay.

01:00:50.400 Come on just do it.

01:00:51.260 Run it through there.

01:00:51.900 Feel the combs on your skin.

01:00:53.640 Literally me every day.

01:00:56.620 Patrick's fault.

01:00:57.620 So listen.

01:00:58.460 It's okay.

01:00:59.120 They endorse me.

01:01:00.140 You endorse me.

01:01:00.920 Yes.

01:01:01.200 We out here.

01:01:01.840 I think there's also this like misconception too with men like that specifically who think

01:01:07.900 that like they think that like drag queens like all of them don't know that they're men

01:01:14.400 dressing up as women.

01:01:15.700 Right.

01:01:16.280 They really are out here thinking that we're trying to fool people.

01:01:21.040 Like that is the thing like they think that we're like trying to be deceptive and for them

01:01:26.980 I think too because like honestly most of them when they see us and see these glamazons

01:01:32.340 there is this little bit of attraction there and then when they realize what it is that

01:01:37.620 they're feeling like attracted to because like that's the only way that they know how

01:01:40.980 to like consume beauty is like by being like I want to penetrate that.

01:01:44.500 Yeah.

01:01:45.140 When they like realize that they're all like oh my God that's like not a cis woman like 1.00

01:01:49.200 he tricked me. 0.61

01:01:50.680 And you're all like babes.

01:01:52.360 First of all like let's be honest like no one wants you like none of us none of us want 1.00

01:02:00.580 you like you are a grown man that can't wipe your own ass accurately like babes like we 0.99

01:02:06.660 are not coming anywhere near that. 1.00

01:02:07.980 No skin care in sight.

01:02:08.980 None.

01:02:09.840 Oh my God.

01:02:10.560 That was me with the voice.

01:02:12.500 Episode three.

01:02:12.860 Listen I was like fighting it a little bit and then I saw it on TikTok and I go listen

01:02:18.440 I gotta watch it now.

01:02:19.640 I should be a judge on the voice.

01:02:21.000 I watch this is my pitch to you put me and Megan on there.

01:02:25.340 Hey voice.

01:02:25.860 Give us the double chair.

01:02:28.040 We'll be in coach.

01:02:29.120 I'm ready.

01:02:30.100 Is it in the voice UK or like.

01:02:31.800 I did the voice UK.

01:02:33.300 Wait which is the one I think it's like Germany or something but they have a duo and they have

01:02:37.260 a double chair and they have to agree.

01:02:38.960 That's gotta be in a different country.

01:02:39.880 I'll put me and Megan on there.

01:02:40.560 I'm so useless but I'll be funny.

01:02:42.040 Yeah she'll give the real the real commentary. 0.59

01:02:44.600 I'll just be funny.

01:02:45.440 And I'll say you are so cute.

01:02:47.200 She'll give you like actual help and I'll just like be funny.

01:02:49.960 Yeah.

01:02:50.800 Like it's like a motorcycle sidecar.

01:02:52.740 Yeah.

01:02:54.200 Pick us.

01:02:54.840 Jesus love us.

01:02:55.120 Imagine the two of us on the voice.

01:02:56.560 Like what a mess.

01:02:57.100 We'd win.

01:02:57.760 Nobody would ever pick us. 1.00

01:02:59.720 Because I would be there and they'd be like that bitch is an anchor. 1.00

01:03:02.300 I'm not picking her. 1.00

01:03:02.940 No.

01:03:03.300 We'd be like we can be your best friends.

01:03:04.800 Yeah I'll be like a parent.

01:03:05.520 We could go to dinner with you.

01:03:07.800 You're like yeah.

01:03:08.480 I expect two tickets to the voice.

01:03:11.000 I'm in town so make sure the two tickets are waiting for me.

01:03:14.440 Yes.

01:03:14.820 I don't get like pizza like that.

01:03:17.880 You don't get like pizza like people like pizza?

01:03:21.080 Like it's not that good.

01:03:22.760 You know what I'm saying?

01:03:23.220 It's just like it's like a fancy sandwich.

01:03:26.360 A pizza?

01:03:26.720 Like a very thin sandwich.

01:03:28.320 A pizza?

01:03:29.020 Yeah.

01:03:29.600 That's crazy.

01:03:30.340 It's like a toast.

01:03:31.540 There's no bread on.

01:03:32.200 Oh a toast.

01:03:32.780 You know what I'm saying?

01:03:33.740 I feel you.

01:03:34.180 It's like it's not all that.

01:03:36.280 It's not bad.

01:03:37.460 They're not good.

01:03:37.880 It's not good enough to eat all the time.

01:03:39.240 No.

01:03:40.400 I feel that.

01:03:41.420 I feel that.

01:03:42.500 I don't know what it is.

01:03:43.640 Oh I feel like that about avocado.

01:03:45.380 Yeah.

01:03:45.740 I love avocado but I feel like I could live without it.

01:03:49.320 100%.

01:03:49.760 Like I could never have one again and it'd be okay.

01:03:52.140 Absolutely.

01:03:52.340 But some people are like you gotta add avocado.

01:03:54.380 No you don't.

01:03:55.340 No.

01:03:55.760 No.

01:03:56.160 Beauty is subjective but there's obviously a line.

01:03:58.740 The point is society is pushing for normalizing unhealthy standards.

01:04:04.180 Oh the way I've seen that comment in many different fonts.

01:04:06.900 Yeah.

01:04:07.200 Oh my god.

01:04:07.920 Beauty is subjective.

01:04:08.720 Beauty is subjective but obviously it's not.

01:04:11.100 That's like what he wrote.

01:04:12.280 But it's also she's a model. 0.97

01:04:14.980 Like when people like criticize me or talk shit about me but I'm a model. 0.98

01:04:21.020 Face card never declines babe. 0.98

01:04:23.120 I was listening to Heated on the way here.

01:04:25.300 I was like that line where she's like face card never declines.

01:04:28.140 Anyway I love Beyonce. 0.65

01:04:29.460 But I just don't.

01:04:30.980 I don't.

01:04:31.740 I don't get it.

01:04:32.920 Like when people call me ugly or fat or the arguments here like you're normalizing something

01:04:39.140 like but we're models.

01:04:41.840 I don't get it.

01:04:42.520 Like it's not like I like bought my way into being a model.

01:04:45.780 I'm here because I'm beautiful. 1.00

01:04:49.120 Period bitch. 1.00

01:04:49.640 You know and I got a big dump. 1.00

01:04:51.220 That's so funny.

01:04:52.140 It looks like this guy broke in and ate all the pies.

01:04:54.840 It looks like this guy broke in and ate all the pies. 1.00

01:04:56.400 Guys I'm going to have sex with your father. 1.00

01:05:01.560 Broke in and ate all the pies. 1.00

01:05:02.660 Your father's going to be eating a pie. 0.98

01:05:04.140 That's for damn sure. 0.97

01:05:05.400 Yeah. 0.95

01:05:05.780 I'll make sure of it. 1.00

01:05:06.680 Why don't you break your mouth into my asshole and lick my butthole you loser. 1.00

01:05:12.900 Broke into a bakery and ate all the pies. 1.00

01:05:14.580 I'm sick and he thought he was William Shakespeare.

01:05:20.500 He's like anyone else.

01:05:22.440 I don't know about the rest of you guys trying to rally my fans.

01:05:25.440 Also anyone else. 0.99

01:05:26.560 Everyone in the replies to my shit is my fans. 0.99

01:05:29.880 I do that all. 0.99

01:05:31.320 I can't. 0.99

01:05:31.840 I'm like hey you're in the wrong neighborhood bitch. 1.00

01:05:34.380 You're going to get jumped. 1.00

01:05:35.760 Roll the windows up and lock the doors. 0.98

01:05:37.800 Because there are hundreds of thousands of mentally ill baristas that are ready to mobilize 1.00

01:05:43.320 whenever I say the word. 0.99

01:05:45.280 Okay.

01:05:46.080 Alfred's finest.

01:05:46.960 There are girls that if they're not the Boy Genius concert they're at my mentions. 1.00

01:05:51.300 And they will fight you bitch. 1.00

01:05:52.880 If they're not seeing Lucy Dacus they're in Caleb's comments section. 1.00

01:05:57.680 And the Doc Martins are laced up.

01:06:00.220 The Mary Janes.

01:06:01.400 And they're ready to fight for me.

01:06:03.200 And they will.

01:06:04.160 I've got she they's that are shooters. 1.00

01:06:06.620 So you need to be careful.

01:06:08.220 Because the guys from AutoZone are not doing the same for you.

01:06:11.140 No they surely are not.

01:06:12.800 No.

01:06:13.080 See in college I was still semi closeted.

01:06:15.480 So I was I was afraid.

01:06:16.660 So I was I was a hoe but in secret.

01:06:18.980 Okay.

01:06:19.680 So no.

01:06:20.580 Yes.

01:06:20.940 Because that's back when Craigslist was still popping.

01:06:22.900 So I was I was a hoe at night. 0.98

01:06:25.280 Not a hoe during the day. 1.00

01:06:26.660 You're a lady of the night.

01:06:27.460 I was a lady of the night.

01:06:28.420 For sure girl. 0.94

01:06:29.940 Hopping in the auto.

01:06:30.960 And you know I wasn't a classy hoe. 0.97

01:06:33.040 You know most hoes go for like you know the dude has like a Dodge Charger back then. 1.00

01:06:37.920 Or you know I was.

01:06:40.040 Jeep Cherokee. 0.70

01:06:40.460 Jeep Cherokee. 0.70

01:06:41.120 I was more of a Honda Civic girl or a Ford or Nissan Maxima.

01:06:46.660 A Maxinista as I called myself back then.

01:06:48.280 A Maxinista.

01:06:49.820 Yeah.

01:06:51.620 This one says they're just they're just pissed. 1.00

01:06:54.840 Biology always says the truth so they create some stupid thing. 1.00

01:06:59.960 Majority society should rule. 1.00

01:07:02.500 Call it self-identity not gender.

01:07:04.640 Spin me a yarn.

01:07:07.420 Why don't you?

01:07:08.240 I mean it's giving a sonnet.

01:07:10.180 A tumbleweed.

01:07:10.920 Yeah.

01:07:11.340 Is that a limerick?

01:07:12.260 It's like a haiku.

01:07:13.240 It's a haiku.

01:07:13.920 It's giving haiku.

01:07:14.640 Literally. 0.99

01:07:15.260 I think people are just so ignorant these days. 0.54

01:07:18.060 Like it's just like what like how can't you see that somebody can live differently than you? 0.94

01:07:23.180 That's it.

01:07:23.940 That's at the very like very very bare bones of it.

01:07:28.660 That's not my life.

01:07:30.020 That's okay.

01:07:30.660 Like it's f***ing fine.

01:07:32.080 It's okay.

01:07:33.140 It's okay.

01:07:34.180 Yes.

01:07:34.620 And like you can learn and you'll maybe be happier after my love.

01:07:40.440 That's why I said it costs you nothing to be more inclusive.

01:07:43.040 Yes.

01:07:43.380 It really doesn't.

01:07:44.200 No that was so well put what you said earlier. 0.98

01:07:45.980 I feel like people are just so quick to be ignorant and bigots. 0.91

01:07:49.600 And it's like once they meet somebody or get inspired by like a trans person or a non-binary 0.97

01:07:54.500 person that they meet, it's like a light goes off.

01:07:57.620 I'm sure you can do it.

01:07:58.620 Making something specific that like a community feels seen about like there will always be

01:08:04.380 an audience for it.

01:08:05.220 And that's absolutely.

01:08:06.860 Polynesia is also bigger than you think.

01:08:09.100 So much bigger.

01:08:10.120 There's Micronesia.

01:08:11.380 There's Samoan Islands.

01:08:12.580 There's Tonga. 0.66

01:08:13.420 There's Tahiti.

01:08:14.600 There is Aotearoa in New Zealand, which they're still fighting to bring back their native name

01:08:19.300 Aotearoa.

01:08:20.520 Hawaii, like Solomon Islands.

01:08:22.560 Yep.

01:08:23.920 New Caledonia.

01:08:25.460 All of Melanesia.

01:08:26.400 You know what?

01:08:26.800 Shout out to New Caledonia.

01:08:27.880 Period.

01:08:28.320 You're so right.

01:08:29.060 Yep.

01:08:29.500 Fiji.

01:08:29.580 I forgot about that.

01:08:30.700 There's all kinds.

01:08:32.120 Eastern Island.

01:08:33.100 There's all kinds.

01:08:33.880 And none of us look alike.

01:08:35.700 Yeah.

01:08:36.200 It's just like their exposure to it doesn't go past like they watched Lilo and Stitch in

01:08:43.540 the dentist's office one time and they're like, I've seen it all.

01:08:46.380 I don't need to see any more.

01:08:47.660 Yeah.

01:08:48.000 I've seen it all.

01:08:48.720 Like, okay, that movie was about native Hawaiian people who inherit an alien.

01:08:53.380 And you guys, you ate that up, didn't you?

01:08:55.700 Can you relate to owning an alien?

01:08:57.320 I can't.

01:08:58.260 No crime.

01:08:58.800 But I watched it and I was like, this movie's hilarious.

01:09:00.780 I love it.

01:09:01.520 Yeah.

01:09:01.840 And that was our representation on screen.

01:09:03.900 That was ours for.

01:09:05.360 Can we have just a little more?

01:09:07.980 Lisa, just a little more.

01:09:10.220 Please.

01:09:10.960 What's another fast food restaurant that's like universally loved that you hate?

01:09:16.440 Um.

01:09:17.080 I can think of one, but you go first.

01:09:18.360 I'm going to be, I'm going to be dead assed with this and I'm going to get canceled.

01:09:22.120 It's by McDonald's.

01:09:23.520 I'm confused.

01:09:24.120 Really?

01:09:24.840 The burger, the, the, the, the, the, the Big Mac in general tastes like the bottom of

01:09:30.560 a dumpster.

01:09:31.220 Like, you know, when you open a dumpster outside of some place to throw stuff in, you're like,

01:09:35.000 yeah, like food, food, trash.

01:09:37.340 Like it smells like that to me.

01:09:39.080 Um, but it's because of the thousand Island.

01:09:41.080 I feel you.

01:09:41.640 If I go to McDonald's, I order the, the one with two cheeseburgers, but I want them plain.

01:09:46.520 I'm a chicken nuggy girl.

01:09:48.060 See what, why do they taste like the refrigerator?

01:09:50.160 Tell me why do you like that?

01:09:51.180 Probably because they came out of a refrigerator and you like it.

01:09:53.420 Yeah, girl, I'll eat it up. 0.77

01:09:54.800 When they show me, when I said, I like those, those nugs.

01:09:57.620 When I say I like those nugs and they're like, did you know that they're made out of that

01:10:02.220 pink sludge? 0.63

01:10:03.080 I don't care.

01:10:03.600 I kind of don't care either.

01:10:04.760 I don't care, girl.

01:10:05.180 No, I don't like people telling me what's, I know it's made out of your cheeseburgers.

01:10:07.360 My body's not a temple. 0.98

01:10:08.360 It's a dumpster. 0.67

01:10:09.280 No, absolutely.

01:10:10.500 And I'm throwing trash in that.

01:10:12.160 Absolutely.

01:10:12.680 What's the, um, people say, can you believe Taco Bell, the meat, they cut it with oatmeal.

01:10:16.780 Good.

01:10:17.060 I'm doing something good for myself then, finally.

01:10:18.960 Or like, if you sing it enough, it's a manifestation song.

01:10:22.200 It'll bring you hosts.

01:10:23.060 Exactly.

01:10:23.520 I've seen a girl that was like, I literally now have a white boy on my roster that just bought

01:10:27.360 me pasta and lobster and just told me that he wants to take me shopping.

01:10:30.940 I'm like, I told you, if you sing it enough.

01:10:33.500 Manifest.

01:10:33.940 Yes.

01:10:34.480 Manifest.

01:10:34.960 Yes. 0.96

01:10:36.040 Say, it don't got to be a white boy.

01:10:37.520 It could be somebody else, but just say it.

01:10:39.540 But there's a white one on yours.

01:10:41.440 I mean, there's some, there's some people in my dams trying to be.

01:10:44.820 Yeah, it's one of us.

01:10:45.600 It's somewhere.

01:10:46.360 We're not going to say too much about my roster.

01:10:48.440 Do they have, do you have men being like, let me be the white boy on your roster?

01:10:51.780 Oh yeah.

01:10:52.200 A lot of them.

01:10:53.960 Every day.

01:10:54.520 That's like the new thing to say to me.

01:10:55.980 That's like a new pickup line.

01:10:57.680 Yeah.

01:10:57.840 Let me be the white boy on your roster or I can't feed you pasta and lobster, but I can

01:11:02.520 do it.

01:11:02.920 Oh my.

01:11:04.360 Oh, stop right there.

01:11:05.560 Yeah.

01:11:05.920 Find something new to say.

01:11:07.240 I said that.

01:11:08.460 Yeah.

01:11:08.920 Be unique.

01:11:10.080 Stand out.

01:11:11.060 You sue them for plagiarizing.

01:11:13.860 You're like, and lawsuit.

01:11:15.900 Yeah.

01:11:16.240 Hope it was worth it.

01:11:17.100 Yeah.

01:11:17.540 Like this next comment says, don't get a girl's number. 0.96

01:11:20.340 Get her social media.

01:11:21.480 Do your homework, men.

01:11:23.120 This way you don't waste your time or money.

01:11:26.660 Okay.

01:11:26.980 Jonah Hill. 1.00

01:11:28.980 Fuck off. 1.00

01:11:31.300 No, literally. 1.00

01:11:32.620 Your time or money.

01:11:33.800 Do your homework.

01:11:35.780 Which is you go and you objectify her.

01:11:38.240 And then if she gives you a chance, then you try to change her.

01:11:42.360 Yeah.

01:11:42.720 That's the Jonah Hill method. 0.76

01:11:44.120 Oh, absolutely psychotic.

01:11:47.880 I know.

01:11:48.360 It's unbelievable.

01:11:49.320 I feel like they over, I consistently say this.

01:11:51.820 I feel like men like this overcomplicate things.

01:11:55.600 It's really quite simple.

01:11:57.160 Like if you're nice and you have like interests and hobbies and you like care about her as a

01:12:03.400 person, odds are you're going to like get her interests and get to take her on a date. 0.96

01:12:08.720 Absolutely.

01:12:09.380 The odds are pretty high if you're like that.

01:12:11.280 Well, and I hate the guys that are like, oh, I spent all this money on a first date.

01:12:14.880 It's like, you didn't have to.

01:12:16.740 If she likes you and you genuinely care about her, you could do anything.

01:12:22.000 Literally.

01:12:22.300 Go to Trader Joe's, buy a couple wraps and go sit in a park.

01:12:25.760 Yeah.

01:12:26.060 It doesn't have to be a hundred dollars sushi dinner.

01:12:28.980 Extravagant.

01:12:29.260 You did that to yourself.

01:12:30.440 Fiasco happened.

01:12:31.280 I wore this pair of shoes that were like, you know, like the clear like PVC vinyl or whatever.

01:12:36.980 I, they were like, that's how the toe part was.

01:12:40.200 Yeah, those hurt.

01:12:41.080 I don't know about you, but I am one of those people who worships and believes in the house

01:12:45.860 of press on acrylic toenails, specifically French tips, because I'm just too lazy to go

01:12:51.740 get like my toes.

01:12:53.140 I feel you.

01:12:53.740 So I'm like, oh, I'll just press them on.

01:12:55.580 What I didn't account for is that your feet get really sweaty in those PVC things.

01:12:59.060 And so this didn't show up in the photos, thank God.

01:13:01.500 But at some point in the hour and a half I was at this event, all of the toenails came

01:13:06.020 off within the shoe.

01:13:08.140 They're just floating in the shoe.

01:13:09.260 So literally I like, I got in the car after and was like, that was fun.

01:13:12.640 I went to take off my shoe and literally I was like, where are my toenails?

01:13:16.160 And I was like, there's like some under my foot.

01:13:18.160 There was some like in the tip of the shoe and then there were some just completely gone.

01:13:21.140 So like there's just toenails all over the LGBT center, which I'm sure I've, there's

01:13:26.780 been a lost and found of toenails over the years.

01:13:29.120 Just leaving your breadcrumbs all over there, like Hansel and Gretel.

01:13:31.700 So then I was so embarrassed.

01:13:32.520 They had like a roaming photographer and I was like, any photos they took of me, it could

01:13:35.440 be at any state of toenail. 0.56

01:13:36.900 Bring your best fat jokes.

01:13:37.880 My favorite, when I was like 18 or 19, I was like starting in Chicago and I was like

01:13:43.240 going to see standup to see if it was something I wanted to do.

01:13:45.400 And I went to this open mic and it was, this guy was up there and it was me and another

01:13:52.120 person.

01:13:52.500 And we were the only not male people in this space.

01:13:55.180 And he immediately was like, oh, we got two ladies here. 1.00

01:14:00.500 And we were like, okay, like nervous.

01:14:04.700 Yeah.

01:14:05.320 Uh oh.

01:14:05.860 And then his set truly started with like, I hate my girlfriend.

01:14:10.540 I wish she was there. 1.00

01:14:12.320 If I could kill her. 1.00

01:14:13.640 This is. 1.00

01:14:14.020 And we were like, okay, well, we should head out.

01:14:16.480 And so we stood up to leave.

01:14:18.280 And mind you, he'd just been like, hey, beautiful girlies, girlies, girlies, ladies, girls. 1.00

01:14:23.240 And so we stood up to leave and he was like, fuck you, bitch. 1.00

01:14:27.880 And he started screaming. 1.00

01:14:29.880 We didn't know this man.

01:14:31.500 We had not interacted at all outside of him being on stage.

01:14:34.160 And the switch was so fast.

01:14:36.700 It's on a dime.

01:14:37.700 And at that time, I thought I was bisexual.

01:14:41.620 And so I actually came on this podcast to thank him.

01:14:45.580 TikTok has completely like revolutionized what it even means to be an artist.

01:14:50.900 Yeah.

01:14:51.200 Low key.

01:14:53.040 Because anybody, like any song, any sound can go viral just from, you know, the most crazy

01:15:01.080 things, whether it's a trend that someone did or someone attached like a filter to their

01:15:06.460 sound.

01:15:07.020 And then now everybody's using this and it's like, what is this song?

01:15:10.080 Who is this artist?

01:15:11.300 So it's definitely like changed the way that I think all of us as artists approach music.

01:15:19.920 You know, it's really fun because I'm able to like test.

01:15:23.180 Like, do y'all like this song?

01:15:24.400 Y'all vibing with it?

01:15:25.680 No?

01:15:26.220 Okay.

01:15:26.660 We're going to go back to the drawing board.

01:15:27.580 Girl, I was totally kidding.

01:15:28.760 I hate that song as well.

01:15:30.300 I also hate it.

01:15:31.880 Yeah.

01:15:32.120 I was trying to let everyone else know that it wasn't good.

01:15:35.240 That it's bad.

01:15:35.880 Yes.

01:15:36.120 So I'm glad we're all on the same page.

01:15:37.620 Thank you.

01:15:38.180 Yeah. 0.61

01:15:40.260 Straight men tend to do very homoerotic things. 0.80

01:15:42.860 Right. 0.99

01:15:43.800 But are also at the same time violently homophobic.

01:15:46.620 Yeah. 0.90

01:15:47.320 So like they do some things that are extremely homosexual and then they have the nerve to 0.96

01:15:54.080 also be homophobic.

01:15:55.720 I don't understand it.

01:15:57.200 It was a perfect example of that.

01:15:59.200 I don't know the guy's name, but the basketball player who was caught on video humping his

01:16:05.480 friend, dry humping, like the legs were in the air like this.

01:16:09.160 And the basketball player was like, pow, pow, pow.

01:16:12.160 Oh my God. 1.00

01:16:12.400 And he was like, the video came out and he was like, dog, dog, I'm not with that gay shit. 1.00

01:16:16.420 It was just us playing. 1.00

01:16:18.660 Girl, what type of player is that? 1.00

01:16:21.320 I'm like, y'all grown ass bitch. 1.00

01:16:24.800 Girl, I'm like, right. 1.00

01:16:27.200 And the guy who like this, he's like, I'm like, right.

01:16:32.480 And the guy, it wasn't just like, girl, when I tell you they were putting in words, I was 1.00

01:16:37.380 like, he was like, bro, we was just, we was just playing with that gay shit. 1.00

01:16:41.280 I'm like, well, hell, I don't know what type of player y'all evolved in. 1.00

01:16:44.700 But that's not how I play with my friends.

01:16:49.220 Girl, we just play like a little volleyball, a little bad bit and some of those like playing

01:16:54.060 games.

01:16:54.880 But I'm like, do y'all have like an active sign up list?

01:16:58.460 Because I want to play.

01:17:00.260 Right.

01:17:00.700 Like, girl. 0.75

01:17:01.820 Hey, man, I think I want to play too.

01:17:03.880 Is this a new sport?

01:17:05.800 I think I might be good at it.

01:17:06.840 I would be really good at it.

01:17:09.560 But I was like, those are the ones who be the main ones that be so homophobe, but do 1.00

01:17:13.620 like, homo shit like that? 1.00

01:17:16.200 I'm like, make up your mind. 1.00

01:17:18.640 Do you want to be an ally or do you want to be a part of the group?

01:17:22.400 When people say that like mascots or like, you know, like native costumes or all kinds

01:17:29.860 of weird appropriative stuff is like appreciation.

01:17:33.820 That's like the most annoying thing you can hear in the entire world.

01:17:38.640 Literally, like, how do you not recognize the difference between appropriation and appreciation?

01:17:44.040 Yeah.

01:17:44.500 You know, I don't know.

01:17:46.100 I truly, I don't understand why that's such a hard concept.

01:17:49.560 Like, and I also think like your, your culture, whatever it is, like when it comes to white 0.99

01:17:56.980 people who want to do that shit, regardless of how nicely you ask them to stop or meanly 1.00

01:18:02.560 ask it either way, they don't listen. 1.00

01:18:04.340 No.

01:18:04.600 But like, no matter how many times you ask in whatever way you ask, they're going to ignore

01:18:07.720 you.

01:18:08.000 And it's like, you don't have a culture and that's why you feel like it's not that big

01:18:12.060 of a deal.

01:18:12.640 Right.

01:18:13.020 You don't have one.

01:18:14.160 Like whatever yours is.

01:18:14.940 What is it?

01:18:15.580 Cass rule? 0.99

01:18:16.060 I don't fucking know. 0.97

01:18:16.980 Like, what do you guys celebrate? 0.98

01:18:18.740 Colonizing other races? 0.99

01:18:19.800 I don't know.

01:18:21.040 That's why I'm like, it's, it's one of those things.

01:18:23.220 Yeah.

01:18:23.300 Well, I mean, it doesn't bother you because it's not you.

01:18:25.560 America, 4th of July, like that's their culture, their heritage.

01:18:29.360 Yeah.

01:18:29.720 The old Navy sales they have around 4th of July, that's their culture.

01:18:33.580 Celebrate that.

01:18:34.420 That's a great thing.

01:18:35.400 Celebrate it.

01:18:35.980 Yeah.

01:18:36.000 Good for you.

01:18:37.540 I have honestly one of the most horrifying prom stories ever, which I'll have to save it,

01:18:42.400 but it was.

01:18:43.320 Why?

01:18:43.580 Tell me now.

01:18:44.080 Oh my God.

01:18:44.560 So basically, okay.

01:18:46.040 So let me just set the scene.

01:18:47.560 Yes, please do.

01:18:48.260 So I was working in retail at the time.

01:18:49.840 I was a counter girl and I was doing eight faces a day.

01:18:52.120 It was prom season in Orlando, Florida.

01:18:53.940 Oh, and were you like a Sephora or like Mac?

01:18:57.020 Okay.

01:18:57.260 It was Sephora.

01:18:58.300 And I was on my last client of the day and I just had a brain fart, you know?

01:19:03.080 And so this is like a very niche explanation, but basically I powdered, I set the powder

01:19:09.060 or I set right under the contour before I bronzed.

01:19:11.820 Yeah.

01:19:12.340 Needless to say, she had the most chiseled cheekbone.

01:19:15.600 She is serving in her life.

01:19:17.440 Hanson's Woodward.

01:19:18.100 Literally.

01:19:18.640 And if you're watching this now, my love, I'm so sorry for ruining your prom.

01:19:22.020 Like I, I put it on and I saw them in that moment.

01:19:24.660 I was like, oh, I fucked that up.

01:19:27.000 So you're like, oh, I was like, oh no.

01:19:28.840 And I was just, and I had to play it off.

01:19:30.000 I was like, no, babe, this is stunning.

01:19:31.520 This is how the girls wear it. 1.00

01:19:33.540 Like the things you're going to eat.

01:19:35.040 I love to lie sometimes.

01:19:36.460 Sometimes you got to lie as a girl.

01:19:38.000 Anyone who has worked in retail or customer service, you have to lie.

01:19:41.100 The customer is always right.

01:19:42.240 You have to.

01:19:42.800 You don't want women to like just be stay-at-home moms because then we're just stay-at-home moms 1.00

01:19:48.540 or we're mooching off of our man's money.

01:19:53.260 Yeah, exactly.

01:19:54.200 Or like, but you don't want them to be working moms either because then they're not good in 1.00

01:19:59.140 the workplace anymore.

01:20:00.000 Once you become a mom, it's whatever.

01:20:01.840 You're just, you know, it's like, I just feel like motherhood and being a woman is a lot

01:20:06.440 of that.

01:20:07.280 Absolutely.

01:20:08.100 Yeah.

01:20:08.280 You don't, you don't fit here, but we also don't want you there.

01:20:11.180 We don't want you at restaurants.

01:20:12.100 We don't want you on planes.

01:20:13.400 We don't want you in the workplace.

01:20:14.920 We don't even think you're good enough to stay home.

01:20:17.140 I feel like that's lazy.

01:20:18.180 So like, where do you want us to go?

01:20:20.060 Like, where are we going? 0.98

01:20:20.880 What the fuck are we supposed to do, girl? 0.98

01:20:22.340 Where are we going? 0.98

01:20:23.240 Well, it's also like, it's, it's the same kind of weird perception of like, if you post

01:20:29.320 here, like, let's say you and Steven go out on a date night or something, or you go

01:20:32.680 on a trip and you don't have the kids.

01:20:34.420 They're like, where are your kids?

01:20:36.120 Right.

01:20:36.480 Where are the kids at?

01:20:37.360 I left them at home alone. 1.00

01:20:38.840 What the fuck do you think they are, girl? 1.00

01:20:40.680 Like they're being taken care of. 1.00

01:20:42.180 What are you talking about?

01:20:42.980 One of my favorite thing about Hollywood's is the carpets, because the world just sees

01:20:46.880 everybody on the carpet, all glamorous and beautiful and all decked up, but they don't

01:20:50.220 see like at the Emmys, Emmys always seem to fall on the hottest weekend in LA and the

01:20:55.240 red carpets outside.

01:20:56.580 Always.

01:20:56.940 What you don't see is if the cameras were to pan over, you'd see a huge line of every

01:21:00.900 celebrity in the world, dripping wet assistance with fans, like dabbing their faces, terrified.

01:21:06.120 And then they go on the carpet and the moment they get off, like layers start coming off

01:21:10.740 and it's just disgusting and so unglamorous. 0.99

01:21:14.000 I'm like an internet dickhead. 0.98

01:21:15.060 So I don't have that luxury of someone fanning me. 0.95

01:21:18.080 It's just kind of me.

01:21:19.280 It's just me like with my publicist, my publicist going like, I'll get you a napkin.

01:21:23.400 Don't worry.

01:21:24.000 I'll get you a napkin.

01:21:24.620 It's all right.

01:21:25.060 Can we clock the clueless?

01:21:27.520 Are you too young for clueless?

01:21:28.740 No, I know clueless.

01:21:29.860 Like barely.

01:21:30.940 I'm going to be 28.

01:21:31.980 I'm not that young.

01:21:32.520 Yeah, like barely.

01:21:32.880 Exactly.

01:21:33.320 So you're like, so there's this like line in clueless when she's like, oh my God, like 0.87

01:21:36.860 Miss Geist and what's his face, like have their legs crossed towards each other.

01:21:39.720 It's an unequivocal sex invite.

01:21:41.080 But for people like us, it just means that we like love each other so much.

01:21:44.520 I love that for us.

01:21:45.300 Like our energies are like leaning in here because like our legs are crossed towards each

01:21:47.640 other.

01:21:48.080 And then at the end we're going to kiss.

01:21:49.400 Oh my God, I can't wait.

01:21:50.000 And that'll be like a literal second for me.

01:21:52.200 Like, but whenever my husband crosses his legs away from me, I'll be like, that's actually

01:21:56.780 so real because when I'm mad at my boyfriend in the car, I like face the other way.

01:22:00.560 No, like if his legs are like that, I'm like the way I'm facing like the window. 1.00

01:22:04.280 Why don't you want to fuck me? 1.00

01:22:05.540 Like, you know, if he's like this, I'm like, what's wrong? 1.00

01:22:09.180 You're like, so you hate me.

01:22:10.300 You better be like this.

01:22:11.260 Yeah. 0.90

01:22:11.560 So you hate me.

01:22:12.460 Let's talk about it.

01:22:13.400 Why do you hate me?

01:22:14.060 Cause I'm bi.

01:22:14.880 And they'd be like, what kind of girls do you like? 1.00

01:22:17.860 You like the girly or the boy kind? 1.00

01:22:19.120 And I'm like, bitch, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:22:20.800 First of all, what? 1.00

01:22:22.020 First of all.

01:22:22.740 What do you mean?

01:22:23.700 Casual homophobia? 0.99

01:22:25.260 Crazy. 0.64

01:22:26.440 Casual?

01:22:26.800 It's crazy.

01:22:27.660 I'm like, you are. 1.00

01:22:31.040 To say like, you like the girl kind or the, like, what the fuck are you saying? 1.00

01:22:35.420 Fucking third grade. 1.00

01:22:36.820 What if I killed you with a gun right now? 1.00

01:22:38.480 How about that? 1.00

01:22:39.400 Stop.

01:22:40.160 They're not going to like that.

01:22:41.280 They build those things.

01:22:42.720 A thousand percent.

01:22:43.300 I can't even imagine you sending this to my life.

01:22:45.500 Speaking of Shaquille O'Neal, the only picture that I look like a tiny, sexy little baby

01:22:50.000 is me and Shaquille O'Neal.

01:22:52.180 We did a prom pose.

01:22:53.760 I love that.

01:22:54.580 I was the guest band on Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen, at South by Southwest many,

01:23:01.180 many years ago.

01:23:02.160 And Shaq was a guest.

01:23:03.920 And I remember so specifically Andy Cohen being like, asking, he had questions for him on the

01:23:07.760 thing. 1.00

01:23:07.980 And then at the end, he just goes, Shaq, how big is your dick? 1.00

01:23:10.880 He just was like, and Shaquille takes his shoe off and just puts it, because he's like 1.00

01:23:15.220 a size, you know, whatever, 106.

01:23:17.320 And he just puts his shoe and it's this long and he just puts it on his leg and everybody

01:23:21.040 screams.

01:23:22.480 And we took pictures after and I was like, I...

01:23:23.940 And I'm inclined to believe him, Hannah.

01:23:25.480 I look like a baby.

01:23:28.220 You look like a strong 5'6".

01:23:30.260 Never in my life have I looked like a baby.

01:23:33.400 You look like 12 year old you again.

01:23:34.980 Thanks, Shaquille O'Neal.

01:23:35.740 Thank you.

01:23:36.340 Thanks, daddy.

01:23:36.880 If women, like female artists, aren't like doing the absolute most, like with costuming, 1.00

01:23:42.780 staging, dancing, singing, then they're like, ah, it's not that good.

01:23:47.340 But then you have men who just stand there in a normal t-shirt and jeans and they play

01:23:51.560 for two hours straight, no breaks, no fun stuff.

01:23:55.220 It's just very standard.

01:23:56.580 Absolutely.

01:23:56.980 And then they're like, oh, he's so deep.

01:23:58.460 He's such a cultured artist.

01:24:00.020 You know what I mean?

01:24:00.600 Absolutely. 1.00

01:24:00.800 He doesn't need all the fancy shit. 1.00

01:24:02.340 Oh my gosh. 1.00

01:24:03.140 Just a genius.

01:24:04.040 Yeah, I mean, I think that that comes from a culture of, you know, competition when it

01:24:08.500 comes to women. 0.94

01:24:09.120 Yeah.

01:24:09.440 I feel like we've been cultured, you know, from time.

01:24:13.420 Society has made us believe that we have to compete against one another in order to like

01:24:18.220 have a seat at the table because there's not so many seats.

01:24:21.040 Yeah.

01:24:21.240 So I think that when it comes to why women have to be exceptional, it's because, you know,

01:24:27.840 there's, we feel as if there isn't room for less.

01:24:32.420 Less.

01:24:32.900 Yeah.

01:24:33.120 I think that was day two.

01:24:34.600 And then day three, we saw each other again.

01:24:36.140 We saw each other again.

01:24:36.540 Yeah.

01:24:37.220 And I want to talk about that.

01:24:38.320 Okay, let's.

01:24:38.720 Because I remember who we were talking to.

01:24:42.780 Do you remember who we were talking to?

01:24:45.000 And I was like, because this is where, again, I never had met Drew in person.

01:24:50.140 So like some people are online funny and some people are real life funny.

01:24:54.280 Some people are both.

01:24:55.080 And that's not a shot to anybody.

01:24:56.400 Some people just have their written jokes prepared and then they're mellow in real life.

01:25:00.520 Drew's real life.

01:25:02.640 Let me tell you why.

01:25:03.760 So she's talking to somebody.

01:25:04.980 I'm not going to name their name.

01:25:06.640 I'm not going to name their name.

01:25:07.660 I'm sick.

01:25:07.940 I'm sick.

01:25:08.680 I know who it was.

01:25:09.400 Because I'm standing there and she goes, I don't know what she's like.

01:25:13.920 Oh, yeah.

01:25:14.300 You're like the most handsome person ever or something like that.

01:25:17.460 Say like a hilarious joke, right?

01:25:19.800 And I'm like, I get it.

01:25:21.260 I'm like, oh, okay.

01:25:22.040 Like funny.

01:25:22.660 And he goes, oh, they go.

01:25:24.960 Oh, thank you so much.

01:25:29.460 Listen.

01:25:29.860 And she goes, and he turns around and like loudly, Drew goes, oh, I don't think they know I was joking.

01:25:39.140 She goes, and this is what I knew because she goes, is this thing on to like a fake mic?

01:25:43.900 And I was like, I was like, oh, yeah.

01:25:46.140 I rock with Drew.

01:25:47.020 This is hilarious. 1.00

01:25:48.040 That shit was so funny. 1.00

01:25:49.140 Hold on. 1.00

01:25:49.420 I'm fucking sweating in this hot dog. 0.99

01:25:51.560 First of all, I'm so glad you saw it because I swear to fucking God, I've told that story. 0.99

01:26:00.900 I literally told on my other podcast with my sister. 0.97

01:26:03.880 And I was like, first of all, I'm pissed. 0.50

01:26:07.220 I'm pissed the fuck off because I was kidding. 0.78

01:26:09.660 And now this dude is walking around thinking I think he's hot. 0.94

01:26:12.280 Like that's that upsets me like to and the way he was like, oh, thank you.

01:26:17.880 Thank you.

01:26:18.500 So I can't remember what state we were.

01:26:22.640 Do you remember the state?

01:26:23.460 It was Milwaukee.

01:26:24.380 It was X-Ray.

01:26:25.220 So we were in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and I think it's Wisconsin.

01:26:28.780 Yeah.

01:26:29.300 Anyways, there was this, you know, very kind young woman that came up to me and was like,

01:26:36.380 she was with her boyfriend, I'm assuming.

01:26:38.140 And she comes up to me and she's like, it was after the show.

01:26:41.380 I think she was one of the other band's fans.

01:26:43.140 So she didn't really recognize me or whatever.

01:26:44.660 And she was like, hey, has anybody ever told you?

01:26:47.280 Like, you look like the Kenna Kirkland guy. 0.99

01:26:49.100 And I literally, I'm being, I'm so dumb. 0.96

01:26:51.980 And I'm just like, yeah, I get that a lot. 0.96

01:26:54.020 No, no.

01:26:54.720 Johnny goes, oh, yeah, I've heard that before.

01:26:56.880 And I'm right next to him.

01:26:58.020 And I was like, hey, sorry.

01:26:59.980 Did you say, does he look like the Kenna Kirkland guy?

01:27:02.240 And she was like, yeah.

01:27:03.000 And I was like, that is him.

01:27:04.500 And I was like, oh, yeah.

01:27:06.100 And I was like, yeah, that is me.

01:27:07.700 She yelled so loud. 0.99

01:27:09.240 She was like, wait.

01:27:10.400 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:27:11.000 She was like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:27:12.000 And I was like, I didn't realize I said like, oh, yeah, I get that a lot now. 1.00

01:27:16.320 Oh, it's crazy.

01:27:17.260 Yeah, crazy.

01:27:17.860 Yeah, I do look like the Kenna Kirkland guy.

01:27:19.200 I do look exactly like him.

01:27:20.900 I should start leaning into that whenever someone says, are you the Kenna Kirkland guy?

01:27:24.180 And I'm like, no, I just look like him.

01:27:25.780 Just put on the red glasses.

01:27:27.280 No, it's not me.

01:27:28.180 Just lie.

01:27:28.940 Just lie every time.

01:27:30.660 They don't, I wonder all the, what do you guys do?

01:27:33.820 What do you talk about?

01:27:34.680 I feel like they sit in silence.

01:27:35.060 He'll tell me something and I'm like, I'll have a follow up question that's totally normal.

01:27:39.780 And he'll be like, I don't know.

01:27:41.600 I didn't ask.

01:27:42.260 I'm like, how do you ask these questions?

01:27:46.060 What do you guys, you guys just say sentences and just stop there and never, just don't come

01:27:50.980 at you.

01:27:51.300 No follow up.

01:27:51.580 No follow up.

01:27:52.200 No.

01:27:53.600 Erica, it was recent too.

01:27:55.460 I was like, oh, yeah, my friend broke up with his girl.

01:27:58.240 And she's like, why?

01:27:59.060 Oh, my God.

01:27:59.620 Why?

01:27:59.900 And I'm like, oh, I don't know.

01:28:01.440 Me.

01:28:02.000 Literally me.

01:28:02.580 I'm like, oh, now I got to call him.

01:28:04.800 And ask him, like, that's not fair.

01:28:06.540 Give me half a story.

01:28:07.500 Go find out.

01:28:08.020 I'm like, now it's awkward.

01:28:09.460 Like, he told me, he's like, oh, by the way, me and blah, blah, blah, broke up.

01:28:12.240 Oh, okay.

01:28:12.780 Are you good?

01:28:13.420 He's like, yeah.

01:28:13.900 I'm like, all right.

01:28:14.820 And that was it.

01:28:15.540 And we moved up.

01:28:16.240 That was boring.

01:28:16.980 Erica was like, so upset.

01:28:19.260 I still don't know why.

01:28:20.320 I still don't know.

01:28:22.060 And I went to Coachella this year. 0.99

01:28:23.960 I got the pie, the spicy pie, every fucking time I ate. 0.99

01:28:28.220 That's the only thing I ate. 0.99

01:28:29.180 The pizza way.

01:28:29.660 Yeah, I love that.

01:28:30.340 One big slice.

01:28:31.020 Love it.

01:28:31.480 That's what I was eating.

01:28:32.420 Yeah, vibing.

01:28:33.120 And the second day I went, I went to the spicy pie booth again.

01:28:37.940 And then the girl was like, you were here yesterday.

01:28:39.780 And I was like, first of all, what did I ever do to you?

01:28:42.520 Yeah.

01:28:42.800 Second of all, what's your problem?

01:28:44.080 Also, there's a lot of people in Coachella.

01:28:45.440 So why are you checking for me?

01:28:46.320 Yeah, first of all, how do you remember me?

01:28:47.980 Why do you remember me?

01:28:48.860 You're a fan.

01:28:50.160 You're a fan.

01:28:51.240 And are you?

01:28:52.620 Because you're clocking me.

01:28:53.540 You're giving fans.

01:28:54.620 That's fan behavior.

01:28:56.520 And not any fan I want if you're clocking me and how many slices I get.

01:29:00.940 And then after that, I started to see.

01:29:01.860 Where's the free slice?

01:29:02.400 Yeah.

01:29:03.360 It's always, let him take a picture and not, you want a free slice of pizza? 0.95

01:29:08.460 Every time I have a bad interaction with a gay person, I'm like, don't make me hate gay people. 0.97

01:29:15.020 I'll do it. 0.97

01:29:16.120 I'll do it.

01:29:17.140 I saw this.

01:29:17.700 I'll turn.

01:29:19.720 I saw this tweet once that was like, I really hate when you guys make me side with a man.

01:29:25.400 Like, that's how I feel.

01:29:27.200 Yeah.

01:29:27.640 When they, like, make a valid point or, like, they're, like, kind of.

01:29:31.360 You can never give it to him.

01:29:32.240 No.

01:29:32.720 You still have to disagree.

01:29:33.180 Not publicly.

01:29:34.100 No, yeah.

01:29:35.120 Privately, yeah.

01:29:35.940 Right.

01:29:36.580 In my, but I'm not happy about it.

01:29:38.220 Tell you that much.

01:29:39.720 Yeah.

01:29:40.040 You got to keep that locked up.

01:29:42.720 Yeah.

01:29:43.040 Locked up.

01:29:43.580 At all.

01:29:44.120 You can't give them, you take, give them an inch and they take a mile.

01:29:47.000 Right.

01:29:47.420 Exactly.

01:29:47.700 Not even a little bit of wiggle room.

01:29:50.280 This is a video where a woman is walking around a Target with a videographer and she's getting

01:29:56.180 mad at all of the pride items on display.

01:29:58.720 She stops a Target employee and asks them where the, quote, straight section is. 0.99

01:30:04.260 The whole story.

01:30:05.020 Yeah, I was going to say the clothes section.

01:30:06.780 Right.

01:30:06.880 Like, the normal clothes section, girl. 0.98

01:30:08.560 Right.

01:30:09.060 You could go there.

01:30:09.900 What is the big deal?

01:30:10.980 Once again, once again, like, you are still represented.

01:30:14.680 Right.

01:30:14.820 Further representation doesn't take from yours.

01:30:18.340 Right.

01:30:18.660 It's just, it's just more inclusive.

01:30:20.620 Right.

01:30:21.040 Doesn't mean anything.

01:30:21.880 Doesn't hurt you.

01:30:22.700 No.

01:30:23.440 It's no different. 0.85

01:30:24.220 Like, I ain't got no titties, but I'm not going to be like, why are all these bras here? 0.76

01:30:28.940 Where, where's the bras for the flat chested people? 1.00

01:30:31.260 You know, like, I'm not asking that.

01:30:33.440 Where are the bras for people with no boobs? 1.00

01:30:35.420 Exactly. 1.00

01:30:36.000 I just gop ass. 1.00

01:30:38.260 Like, who cares? 1.00

01:30:39.500 I don't know.

01:30:40.120 My biggest qualm right now is like, there's like, I feel like people are going back to like

01:30:43.520 minimalism in a way that just is like, I don't know.

01:30:45.840 I keep seeing those like breakdowns of like Jacob Lorty's fits.

01:30:47.980 And like, love him.

01:30:48.800 No hate to him.

01:30:49.120 He looks great.

01:30:50.000 Like, but it's all very like casual clothing.

01:30:51.940 People are like, dissecting the outfit.

01:30:53.800 I'm like, girl, he put on jeans.

01:30:56.000 Jeans and a cut off shirt and a little coach bag.

01:30:58.120 He looks great.

01:30:58.940 Yeah.

01:30:59.380 But it's not like, no people.

01:31:00.980 It's not serving.

01:31:02.460 Right.

01:31:02.620 Like, it's not like, you know what I mean?

01:31:04.420 Like, I'm like, give it.

01:31:05.900 Sometimes I think it's like, give it to me.

01:31:07.500 I want to see it.

01:31:08.100 Like, I want you to serve me.

01:31:09.920 But I even, even so, like for me, I genuinely believe like fashion is art, right?

01:31:15.440 It's an art.

01:31:15.960 It's a self-expression.

01:31:16.920 So whatever you feel beautiful in, whatever you feel current in, that's what you should

01:31:20.720 wear.

01:31:21.480 And I just feel like, don't throw stones if you're living in a glass house, girl. 0.95

01:31:25.040 So like when people say shit to me about my looks and I go and look and you're just like 0.98

01:31:29.620 a... 0.99

01:31:29.840 Don't throw stones from the Vineyard Vine store.

01:31:31.520 Like, one time the Italian mafia showed up to my gig.

01:31:37.620 What gig?

01:31:38.740 Where were you?

01:31:39.120 I had, I was doing my solo show in Italy at like this gorgeous theater.

01:31:43.140 And I guess when you perform in Italy, there's like a special tax.

01:31:47.400 And like my tour manager was just like a hot mess and like never paid this like special

01:31:52.300 tax.

01:31:53.840 And the Italian mafia showed up with guns.

01:31:58.360 Oh my God.

01:31:59.080 But like when I say Italian mafia, I mean like random men in suits with a piece of loose

01:32:03.180 sleeve paper that said, you owe us $27,000.

01:32:05.940 You owe me a million dollars.

01:32:06.920 Yes.

01:32:07.800 They're like, sorry, I'm not even here.

01:32:09.320 Sorry, I'm not here.

01:32:09.600 And they like opened their...

01:32:11.420 They were like...

01:32:13.000 Oh my God.

01:32:13.840 They like showed it at God.

01:32:15.240 You're like, I'm in a corset.

01:32:16.660 No, literally.

01:32:17.260 I was like, zip my dress up.

01:32:18.540 I heard about it.

01:32:19.100 I was like, zip my dress up.

01:32:19.880 Where are they?

01:32:20.400 What are they going to do?

01:32:20.860 They're going to shoot me? 0.91

01:32:22.720 They're going to shoot me like this? 0.96

01:32:24.020 Dress like this? 0.98

01:32:25.160 Let's go.

01:32:25.560 That's the Gemini.

01:32:26.000 Like they better.

01:32:27.020 Yeah.

01:32:27.240 This is the better way to go.

01:32:28.640 Yeah. 1.00

01:32:29.340 Let's fucking hit it. 1.00

01:32:30.520 I will bring these to the mafia now. 1.00

01:32:32.940 They are not ruining my show.

01:32:34.660 Gemini.

01:32:35.440 Yes.

01:32:35.820 Okay, Gemini girl.

01:32:36.940 And I stomped around that theater.

01:32:39.160 And you did the gig?

01:32:40.740 No, my tour manager was like, get the dressing room.

01:32:44.100 I don't know.

01:32:44.880 What are they going to do? 0.96

01:32:45.780 Shoot me? 0.99

01:32:46.960 Probably. 0.96

01:32:47.960 Literally, yeah.

01:32:48.980 They're like, that's what we're saying, actually. 0.99

01:32:50.560 Well, yeah, that's my plan is to shoot you. 1.00

01:32:52.640 Yes. 1.00

01:32:53.240 Well, the show went on.

01:32:54.460 And so you can put the pieces together from there.

01:32:58.560 Committed to the gig.

01:32:59.920 The show must go on. 0.99

01:33:01.120 Okay, shoot me if you must. 0.98

01:33:02.240 Just let me do my number. 0.90

01:33:03.540 Yeah, let me do my show. 0.91

01:33:04.980 And afterwards, we can talk.

01:33:06.320 Let's be comedic.

01:33:06.600 I really think we should do a rap song.

01:33:08.340 I really think there's bars in there.

01:33:09.920 You said something earlier.

01:33:10.920 I was like, that's a bar.

01:33:11.840 We're about to steal the things you say and put them in there.

01:33:14.140 Please do.

01:33:14.880 So either you're going to be on the song or we're just taking your whole bit.

01:33:16.960 Okay.

01:33:17.540 Either or.

01:33:18.220 I'm happy with either.

01:33:18.860 Maybe an interlude.

01:33:19.860 I'm shooting my shot now.

01:33:21.160 Maybe you do an interlude. 0.99

01:33:21.840 Oh my gosh, I'll shit myself right now. 0.99

01:33:23.740 Oh my gosh. 0.99

01:33:24.200 I'm getting nervous.

01:33:25.000 My pits are sweating.

01:33:27.460 Getting nervous.

01:33:28.820 That would be an honor.

01:33:29.800 We'll talk after.

01:33:30.200 Wow, your laugh is iconic.

01:33:31.020 Our teams connect.

01:33:33.660 Okay, well, how's the love life going?

01:33:35.640 Speaking of men who are constantly throwing themselves at you.

01:33:38.480 Well, I'm going on a couple of dates here and there, here and there, but most of the men

01:33:43.100 are up to par to what I need.

01:33:45.700 A Christian, above six feet, has a job, you know, things like that. 1.00

01:33:51.340 Most have to take care of a woman. 1.00

01:33:53.200 So most of the men are either missing six teeth or homosexuals. 1.00

01:33:58.860 So I just try to steer clear of men like that. 0.99

01:34:01.940 I try to find men at church. 0.98

01:34:03.180 Every man that you attract is either toothless or gay? 0.98

01:34:06.980 It seems like it. 0.98

01:34:09.020 That's what it seems like.

01:34:10.520 That's been my track record.

01:34:11.900 I don't know what attracts them to me.

01:34:13.660 You are what you eat, though.

01:34:17.440 So.

01:34:18.360 Yeah.

01:34:18.900 I mean. 1.00

01:34:20.320 That's why I'm attracting pieces of shit. 1.00

01:34:23.120 This notion that women aren't funny is wild to me because it started somewhere, right? 1.00

01:34:28.340 It started on like 4chan 15 years ago.

01:34:32.020 For real.

01:34:32.300 Right. 1.00

01:34:32.580 Like women aren't fucking funny. 1.00

01:34:34.500 Make me a sandwich to like the ugliest motherfucker you've ever seen. 1.00

01:34:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:34:38.520 I know.

01:34:38.900 I'm very familiar.

01:34:39.960 Yeah.

01:34:40.180 Being a female comedian.

01:34:41.340 Yeah.

01:34:41.720 On stage.

01:34:43.280 Even if it's my show.

01:34:44.400 Even if the whole audience is like, we're here to see Caitlin Riley.

01:34:47.280 Yeah.

01:34:47.500 I still feel like when I'm on stage, I am constantly having to justify why I'm on stage.

01:34:53.580 Mm-hmm.

01:34:54.400 I feel that.

01:34:54.940 Men don't have to do that. 0.99

01:34:57.200 No.

01:34:57.760 Right?

01:34:58.160 When sometimes they should.

01:34:59.480 And sometimes they should.

01:35:00.540 Sometimes I deserve an explanation.

01:35:01.600 But it's like, I feel like men innately, especially in the sphere of like funny comedians, stand-ups, 0.99

01:35:06.920 men, like there's nothing I hate more than a mediocre white man on stage with a microphone. 1.00

01:35:11.640 Period, bitch. 1.00

01:35:12.320 I feel like I had a blast in college. 1.00

01:35:14.440 I believe that.

01:35:14.920 I mean, that's like the quintessential experience.

01:35:17.320 We didn't get to partying until we were like mid-20s.

01:35:20.120 Really?

01:35:20.380 Yeah.

01:35:20.820 I didn't party in college because I was late.

01:35:23.480 No.

01:35:24.200 I just like wasn't into it.

01:35:25.540 But then when I hit 23, party face hit.

01:35:28.000 Yeah.

01:35:28.420 Which was fun.

01:35:28.920 Time to go out.

01:35:29.500 Yeah.

01:35:29.720 It was us together.

01:35:30.520 She was 25.

01:35:31.120 I was 23.

01:35:31.560 And we were hitting the bars every day.

01:35:33.100 Oh, period.

01:35:33.900 Mm-hmm.

01:35:34.280 Yeah.

01:35:34.480 Do you ever think back to that time when you're like, that would put me in a hospital now?

01:35:37.520 Oh, my God.

01:35:38.080 I'd be hospitalized.

01:35:38.940 No.

01:35:39.360 I'd be bedridden.

01:35:40.640 Many times.

01:35:41.360 Yeah.

01:35:41.740 The way that I thought I couldn't hang by not doing like a four-day weekender.

01:35:45.980 Yeah.

01:35:46.480 Yeah, literally.

01:35:47.100 I was like, wow, my God.

01:35:48.700 I know.

01:35:48.960 I'm so lame now or whatever.

01:35:50.460 Oh, my God.

01:35:51.740 What?

01:35:52.440 I know.

01:35:52.800 Now I have like two glasses of wine and I'm like, oh, man, I can't.

01:35:56.280 I have to wake up early tomorrow.

01:35:57.440 Same.

01:35:57.900 I can't do it anymore.

01:35:58.620 When I hit 26, also, I feel like we're just like acting like we're so old right now.

01:36:03.160 But when I hit 26, I had my first hangover ever.

01:36:06.640 Really?

01:36:06.860 And then now.

01:36:07.480 Wait, what?

01:36:08.400 Yeah.

01:36:08.800 Because remember, when I was like younger, I would go out every weekend, like four days

01:36:12.700 in a row and like wake up and go, wake up and go.

01:36:14.760 No issues.

01:36:15.820 Now, I sniff a glass of wine and I'm hungover.

01:36:18.960 It's crazy.

01:36:20.160 I really am acting like I'm so old.

01:36:21.760 I'm sorry.

01:36:22.420 I had like four light beers once and the next day I thought I had COVID.

01:36:26.700 And I was like, oh, I think something's wrong with me.

01:36:28.640 It was that bad.

01:36:29.840 I was the Mr. Krabs move. 0.54

01:36:31.460 Ha ha ha.

01:36:32.560 Ha ha.

01:36:34.400 Ha ha ha.

01:36:37.220 Ha ha ha.

01:36:41.640 Ha ha ha.

01:36:43.620 Ha ha.

01:36:44.980 Ha ha ha.

01:36:46.820 Ha ha ha.

01:36:47.260 Ha ha ha.

01:36:47.780 Ha ha ha.

01:36:50.060 Ha ha ha.

01:36:50.780 Ha ha ha ha.

01:36:51.860 Ha ha.

01:36:52.600 Ha ha.

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - January 10, 2024

Best of The Comment Section： 100 Episodes

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript