DOLLS, ARE WE WRONG？ Ft. Trace Lysette
Summary
Trace Lissette is an incredibly talented actress and has been in the game for a minute. She s been in amazing movies like Hustlers, Hustlers and Hustlers 2.0, she s also played the lead in the hit film Monica and her most recent lead in a feature film, Monica: Transparent.
Transcript
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and so you look stupid and goofy when you call us men and shit
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hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me drew
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everybody knows me nobody cares about me anyways on to the amazing guest today we have the incredible
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welcome to the show thank you for having me queen oh girl i'm so excited to have you i adore you
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same same same how you feeling how you been how's life oh my god life has been a roller coaster
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this past year for the you know for the better mostly yeah but um yeah i'm looking i'm looking
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forward to some abundance rolling in in 2020 period abundance mindset you have to keep it
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yes trace for everyone that doesn't know and why don't you know if you don't know
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trace is an incredibly talented actress and has been in the game for a minute and you were in
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amazing movies like hustlers right you're in monica transparent yes very exciting yeah how was it i know
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monica's your most recent film yes that was uh my first lead in a feature film period um took a long
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time 42 so it took a while to get here but you know 42 i'm 42 girl girl you look good thank you
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you look good as fuck it's the estradiol pills period you look good it's the moan you look my age
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i literally thought you were like 30 oh i'll take it i still play 30 so yeah i mean duh you can play
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like mid-20s i appreciate that you know i tell my agents that all the time so if you're watching
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hello well if they ever make a movie about me i'll just cast you oh okay ask me okay there you go
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in my 20s that's so that that's honestly that threw me for a loop that's great we should do a buddy
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comedy we should we should be like so fun like arnold schwarzenegger and danny devito oh that's
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a throwback we could be like twins oh my god oh my god that'd be so funny because we look nothing
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alike no i need to go watch that i've never even seen it either i just know they're like haha one
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saw one's short i think i saw it when i was a kid period yeah look at you is that what got you what
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well actually i'll back up what got you into acting like what made you want to venture into the craft
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oh uh okay so hmm how do i make this light and funny no it's um you know i had a rock bottom
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moment in my mid-20s okay um yeah i i i was hustling you know i was in new york and um
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you know i tried to take my life and um i'm so sorry it's a girl it was over a decade ago um and uh
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i was just you know a lot of things going on and i had a guy friend of mine who was a working actor
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uh his name is cariby fabara he's he's in heaven now uh but um he was like you're so talented and
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you can't swing around a pole forever and do whatever you're doing to survive you know i was
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i was doing what i could with what i had yeah and um absolutely and there and there was a time when
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i realized i had to invest in myself again beyond the transition the physical transition um i'm trans
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guys okay you didn't know um uh you know so i had to i had to go in and like you know take the money
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from spring around a pole and and invest into an acting school and i bounced around at different
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acting studios and just realized that oh acting is picking me back like it was it was evident in a
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short amount of time that the teachers were giving me the feedback that i needed to understand that
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i could do something else with my life totally that i had never dreamed that i could do yeah um
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and so cariby is like an angel you know he he he uh put you on your path that you were yeah we
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dated briefly and then became friends but he he changed my life forever with with that vote of
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confidence just saying like you know you're so animated and you're so earnest and there's something
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about you that could really do well um on camera yeah and it's worth it to explore and so i went to
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his to his acting teacher and that was the start of my journey back in oh god it must have been
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oh oh eight oh seven oh seven i think yeah wow that's so cool though like what a what a what a
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story of triumph right like yeah getting on your path and like a way that maybe you didn't expect
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to but now you know like this is what you're meant to do yeah i think is a beautiful thing yeah that's
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amazing what was your first like big like role like for you where you're like man like this is like a
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thing like oh my gosh well i got cast in this like i don't know if it would be considered a feature
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it was like a 45 minute low budget action film okay it did premiere in times square at a at a like
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indie thing yeah um so i played at amc and it was at this little festival but um and i was the lead
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uh but uh i booked transparent like a year or two after that and the producer then found out that i was
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trans because i kind of came out when i got transparent yeah and he shelved the film and
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you know told me i was a fraud and that's crazy yeah he was it was he was deeply transphobic i mean
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this was a different time this was like i think i did that film in like 2011 or 2012 that's fucking
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crazy yeah that's insane that's an insane thing to be like liar yeah like you're like am i you bought
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it didn't you right we shot it and people like it like yeah that's not like you hired me so yeah
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um we're insane but that's okay it was pretty low budget and i don't mind that it's not out there
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um but uh yeah transparent was a leap of faith it was like yeah i was still working all over the
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clubs in new york city and the straight clubs and you know that's not the safest place for a trans girl
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yeah but um i was i was like i'm gonna do this because uh laverne cox was one of my good
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girlfriends and she had just done orange yeah and that was like blowing up i mean she thought it was
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a web series like when i when i ran into her on the street one day outside of um we had the same
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doctor and we had hormones at the same place yeah and i ran into her one day and she was she was i was
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like what's going on girl like what's the latest what's the change she was like i just did this
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little web series and i was like oh what's it called she's like orange and black and i was like
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oh okay cool i can't wait to see that and then when it came out it just like blew up yeah um and huge
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for representation and a lot of oh my god nobody had ever seen before it was so huge yeah um and i had
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just done a law and order it got in my it got in my union card and um wait law and order svu or just law
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it was svu oh my god i love law and order svu i love that fucking show i think it was season 15
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girls the way i'm gonna go look for it i played a girl i played this this bitch named lila and um
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i'm literally gonna look it up because i've seen so many episodes of that show and i probably have
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seen it yeah honestly and i just didn't know you yeah i had blonde hair like maryland very maryland
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okay um and it was not a trans role and i hadn't i you know i still hadn't come out yet and so
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when when laverne did that thing i was like maybe there's a space for us yeah absolutely
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has i was that was gonna be my next question actually it was i was gonna ask like since
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you've been in the inner in the film industry tv and film for a while now like do you have you seen
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a change or i'm some sort of in a more positive way than it has been obviously there's still so much
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work to be done but do you see any sort of shift at all do you think yeah it's changed in terms of
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representation definitely but it ebbs and flows i mean i think last year was pretty well there was
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a strike and it was it was pretty slow but um you know it does this but it's steadily gotten better
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yeah i think yeah definitely um and so i'm hopeful and i i'm encouraged uh by people who have
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kind of hit the main like trans girls who have hit the mainstream like hunter schaefer and laverne
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you know it just it's it makes me think okay they see us for more and like doing monica was very
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affirming yeah um you know so we'll see i think too like there is something to be said about how
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when they do cast and this is like for all marginalized identities yeah it's like it doesn't always have to
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be in a state of trauma or in something that's right awful or like you know what i mean like
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seeing seeing trans girls be cast in roles that are like not centered around that i think is
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beautiful and amazing i feel like that's a true step in the right direction like actually
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is weighing them just as evenly as you weigh cis actresses right yeah yeah i mean i would love to be
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just thought of as another leading lady yeah totally and i'm trying to bring that energy in
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yeah um and to just push out the doubters and totally you know because uh the resume should
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speak for itself and the work should speak for itself and it shouldn't have to do with your
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identity but for some reason when we get a big win it's thought of as like a fluke yeah or like a
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threat or a threat yeah it's like or a threat instead of a wow that's a really unique artist
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who's had a very unique life experience and you cannot go somewhere and pay to learn what that person
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has lived that's that special sauce that that we bring yeah you know absolutely and i've talked about
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that a lot on this show especially too because obviously i have lots of trans friends i have lots
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of friends in all different kinds of margins of society but we talked about that a lot on the show
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in terms of like how whenever there is even like an inkling of representation for someone that
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lives in the margins all the time it's always like and what about us what about straight people
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what about cis people what about you girl you have more than enough representation shit pick
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something else you can close your eyes and scroll and you can find someone that represents you
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yeah but like there are so few like so so so few like it's it's even smaller than people realize
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like representation for actresses like yourself who have been in the game for a long time a long
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fucking time yeah girl like i want to do a movie with meryl and like yeah you know uh i don't know
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michelle pfeiffer and you know i mean i just i would love to just fall in with the legends and and play
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and like show them what i could do you know like absolutely you know i would just i would love that i
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i know um i hear a lot of actors talk about imposter syndrome and i'm like i don't have that
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i just have i just i just have a lack of access like just put me in a game yeah just give me one
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for details please play responsibly i feel i i think too like that's another reason why people like
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you are so important is because you still you still get in there you know what i'm saying like
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you're still making sure like if no one's gonna open the door for me i'll fucking make my own if
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that's the case yeah that's exhausting it is yeah it is very exhausting and i and even like for me
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because i'm just a clown on the internet but like even for me uh in the beginning of my like journey
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and everything um there was a moment where i was like i don't think anyone's ever gonna work with me
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because i'm so controversial like the shit that i do and more specifically it's not like standing up
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to misogyny obviously it's like the way i choose to do it there were a lot of brands that were afraid
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to work with me really um yeah oh yeah girl and then for a while like i thought i wouldn't even get
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representation because i you know i had the platform i had i had more than enough followers
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to warrant at the time before i was signed to anybody um but no one really hit my line and i think
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that's because they were afraid to represent someone like me because like what if i don't
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bring in any money then it's like pointless kind of thing um but the agent i have now is the agent
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that signed me like two years ago and she was like one of the only people that was like i see i see
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something like i see something and i she had to really convince them to sign me okay and she told
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me that after we became friends and like got a lot closer um but she really had to sell me because
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they were like i can't market her to anybody like she's too much she's too loud she's too mean
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because they get scared of the respectability politics and the language and the way you're
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delivering the call outs exactly yeah and not knowing that that does appeal to the masses a
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lot of people believe it or not like a lot of people kind of vibe with it and then i i kind of
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joke about it sometimes when i talk about it in interviews and stuff but i'll say like i just got
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too big to ignore like at that point they had no choice but no choice yeah so i was like i'm gonna
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keep going and then i'll keep growing and if anything comes of it great if not at least i'm fucking up
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get on the bus or get left behind yeah exactly yeah okay so monica um for those who don't know
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uh can you explain the plot of monica and like what it means to you to have like played that role
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like in a movie yeah um so the movie is about a trans woman who was kicked out when she was 16
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mm-hmm and has lived on her own for a very long time and her biological mother is now
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dying and uh had a brain surgery and is suffering from memory loss and in her last days and she gets
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a call from her sister-in-law um kind of giving her the tea and then she goes home she decides to go home
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and and see what's left yeah of this situation if anything at all yeah and um i think my favorite
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thing about monica is that she's she's this woman who is she knows who she is and she has
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had this like self-sufficient existence for such a long time yeah this is not like a another transition
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story or um you know it's not even about that we don't even i don't even think the word trans is in
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the film yeah um and so that's what i love most about it is that it's just it's not about that
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yeah it's just about like family like complicated about family like complicated relationships with
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family yeah what do you do at the time you have left yeah and um maybe there's not maybe there's
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not gonna be this big resolution yeah uh because sometimes life is gray it's not always black and
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white totally it's shades of gray and um yeah i think that that's one thing that the director writer
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andrea did so well was he didn't spoon feed anything for anybody yeah you know absolutely
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yeah and how was it working on that film while you were like as far as like as since obviously as a
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trans person and you're working in this role that's like so emotionally taxing too yeah like kind of going
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over a very complicated relationship with a parent um like how was that for you kind of living in that
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role for the duration of filming uh i enjoy being in that bubble and that creative bubble we shot it in
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cincinnati in the dead of summer it was really hot and i love the heat and i love the humidity and
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i love artists and i love acting yeah even though it was heavy material yeah i was either naked or crying
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or both on any given day um i just enjoyed the purpose of of having to go to set every day
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yeah um because you know when you're in between jobs you're like what am i doing like where is
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where is the next gig totally um so i enjoyed it there it was it was taxing of course and and cathartic
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too at times but um but i i mean i have really fond memories of that summer totally yeah i've had a
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a couple friends on here too that have like they they're actors first like they don't want to be
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influencers at all like they want to be actors and so they they've kind of expressed to me how hard it
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is like in between and that's why they kind of started doing social media just for funsies
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and even a few of my friends like like one of my girlfriends caitlin riley she was on the show too
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and she's an actress but she was telling me like i did this because there was no work at the time and
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then this took off and then now they're kind of sometimes they'll pitch me as like an influencer
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and i'm like no no no no no you're like i'm an actress i'm still an actress yeah yeah she's like
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i'm still an actress like i did this shit for fun and now it's like it's taking me away from what it
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is i want to do yeah um so i totally get because she was telling me i there's just there was no work so i was
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like well i gotta do something yeah so she started kind of chipping away at social media
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i think johnny yeah johnny sibilly who's also been on the show love him yeah my virgo king
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similar journey he did all these characters like julie said yeah um megan and um that was
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it's not like he wasn't auditioning and looking for work he was yeah um but you gotta put that
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creative energy somewhere yeah totally yeah especially when that's i feel like there's such
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long periods i'm sure of like waiting yeah just kind of just waiting that's what i told you i had
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one audition they they hit me up eight months later like they initially reached out to me and never
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heard from them again yeah it's always it's always 48 hours or less yeah eight pages of dialogue
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and you're like i have a life yeah yeah this one like and that the one the one thing they sent me
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was literally like a paragraph and a couple sentences and that's it like it wasn't even
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anything long or hard and i was like oh well that's a little better yeah that's nice i guess nicer but
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i guess not because they didn't pick me so so and that's like the shit i was auditioning for too
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was like so under wraps that they i don't even know what they sent me was just like a description
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of who i was reading for okay and then the paragraph and then the two sentences and then that's it and
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they didn't give me a storyline or anything like that and it was for something animated so well like
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that reminds me of the meryl streep quote where she says you know casting sees so little of what
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you're actually capable of yeah because the audition process is so far removed from how acting
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is like on set yeah and some people are great auditioners yeah and others if they're extremely
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sensitive might not be good yeah at that yeah um i'm sensitive to the light and the fluorescent rooms
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and yeah uh or even like a self-tape sometimes it's just like you know you're you're having a friend
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do it and they have to be somewhere and you know in an hour and like you're just trying to get
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through it yeah and and it's not really indicative of your potential it's yeah it's not your the full
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breadth of what you're capable of on set that's a really good point and uh and that can be frustrating
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because then you know people get jobs based off of auditions but yeah totally it might not even be
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how they bring it on set or vice versa you know do they do auditions in person anymore or is it more so
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just self-tapes and then i haven't had an in-person audition person i haven't had an in-person audition
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since before the pandemic okay yeah that's what my other friends on the show told me too as far as
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like being active they were like yeah we don't do in person anymore no and then i'm like oh so wait i
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don't have to live in la yeah so i can live anywhere else i could actually buy a house somewhere
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oh okay well you were also in hustlers how was that oh girl i watched the super bowl the other day
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that's so funny how was that experience it was wonderful you know in between takes he was like
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and i got real shy and um you know this is back before he was booed up yeah and uh and uh i had
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a great time on set yeah but i wished i'd been a little more forward with usher
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i just just got shy you know there was a lot of people around it yeah um icons like cardi and lizzo
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and i had a really good time with them lizzo was hilarious cardi was so sweet yeah um kiki was a
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kiki yeah she was a kiki yeah um j-lo was nice and sweet and just i couldn't believe because i've
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watched her my whole life yeah since that's the way love goes and um and laureen scafaria is the
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director writer she's a good friend of mine now and it was just the way that set was run was so
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seamless i love that and it was just a lot of woman energy yeah i was gonna say the girls are
00:23:04.680
gonna do it yeah it was just it was no drama yeah it was just it was just so lovely that's so good
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i'm so glad too especially with a cast like that like star power all of you guys together yeah that's
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crazy yeah and no drama love that no drama yeah no drama that's so that's so sick i think that
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i think too like getting to work with uh women that you've like idolized and you're like and then
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that you find out they're really cool and they're very talented in person too you're like okay period
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yeah it's never it's really disappointing when you meet someone and they suck you're like oh yeah
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bummer i've had some moments like that yeah i won't say who yeah you and me both
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yeah so now i don't even i do my best to like not hype it up anymore and when i meet someone i'm
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really really really like like who i've watched forever i'm just kind of like okay i don't know
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how it's gonna go i'm just gonna like keep the expectations low yeah you know yeah totally and
00:24:03.560
also this is like off topic but not uh the videos that you made about a certain comedian girl i was
00:24:11.380
cackling i was mumbling and i was cackling bitch that was so fucking as you should me and my friends
00:24:17.180
me and my me and my friends are always like dolls am i wrong am i wrong i say that all the time i'm
00:24:23.300
just quoting you when i say something like am i wrong you ate him up bitch period good he deserved a
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good eating you sure fucking did bitch and i didn't even realize that was you in the video
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i first when i watched it i was i was fucking cackling i was like this is so funny and then
00:24:42.360
uh my sister is a big fan of you she couldn't come today but she's a huge fan of yours too
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and she was like that's literally trace and i was like no fucking way i don't know why i didn't put
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two and two together probably because i code switched so much in interviews that like that video was just
00:24:55.640
me being me yeah that's what my upstairs neighbor um sahaya told me she was like it was so nice also
00:25:03.400
because whenever people see you talking on in an interview or something you're so poised and
00:25:08.140
yeah you know you're like you're code switching for people and and that was just trace being trace
00:25:12.460
like the trace the trace we know you know on sunday at the barbecue like that's that's you yeah
00:25:17.340
literally um and i was like you're right i guarantee that's why i didn't put it together probably
00:25:22.560
yeah because even sometimes for me like when i do like i did something with forbes and they recorded
00:25:29.720
it and they would like put put little clips out and stuff some people were like wow she's so smart
00:25:35.640
i'm gonna tell people to suck my dick and cock and balls at forbes exactly there girl but doesn't it
00:25:41.220
say so much about them yeah that they think that we are one thing that's what i'm saying when all of
00:25:47.180
the most brilliant people are so layered yeah and have had to be chameleons i've had to be
00:25:53.560
absolutely right especially in this industry and i feel like too it's it's such a testament to to like
00:25:59.320
how they see women because they're like oh like when women are like brash and they're
00:26:05.460
unapologetic and they're fucking confrontational they're always like a disagreeable woman right
00:26:11.180
but then when they see me talking in other interviews where i'm talking a lot about stuff
00:26:15.440
i really care about they're like oh you know what she's actually really smart girl you could be both
00:26:21.160
i could tell someone to suck my wiener and still be smart it's okay exactly you can exist in
00:26:25.160
both worlds exactly exactly it's a it is it is honestly it's a luxury to if you don't have to
00:26:34.160
code switch so much yeah that's a luxury that i don't know maybe i'll be famous enough one day
00:26:40.200
where i don't have to give a about i know how i'm and you do have to be very cognizant of that
00:26:46.900
especially in the industry that you're in exclusively is because like other people may see that and they'll
00:26:52.880
be like oh no because like oh yeah they'll develop a personal opinion and then withhold stuff from
00:26:57.820
you regardless if you're overqualified for it absolutely or the right person for it so you're
00:27:01.960
like it's like playing the game yes which is annoying i play the game i try but they're on to
00:27:07.600
me now you and me both okay so i'll transition actually that's actually a good transition into
00:27:15.040
the topic which is okay unpacking the tiktok trad wife trend which is like traditional wife
00:27:21.380
so okay traditional gender role no you're right because trade trade is like someone who
00:27:32.560
you're like well i don't want to talk about my my past
00:27:38.420
okay so obviously like as an actress right you've had to take on roles that have highlighted the
00:27:45.940
complexities of like modern womanhood of gender norms like things like that so like this new trend
00:27:51.400
on tiktok is very i've actually seen a few videos i've been tagged in a few of them a couple of men i
00:27:55.980
gotta fuck up on my list but like they're talking about traditional wives like they're like how come
00:28:01.700
people aren't like my mom and i'm like if you want to fuck your mom like unpack that elsewhere
00:28:06.340
oh my god you know some men are like do you want to kiss your mom on the mouth be honest
00:28:12.100
it's very that like i'm sorry i'm not your mom yeah
00:28:15.580
it's like hey girl um i'm not your mom so right and i think your mom's taken i can be your mommy
00:28:21.860
i can't be your mom yeah sorry i know sometimes that's very weird when they're like why can't you
00:28:28.400
just act like my mom um because you have sex with me that's why oh my god maybe i shouldn't be
00:28:33.460
right right is that a real question okay so there's a couple of videos in here that are applicable to
00:28:40.360
this so this one is a man he's recording a podcast reacting to a clip of a woman explaining this
00:28:47.200
like traditional wife trend and she explains that it's a trend where women want to return to the
00:28:52.760
domestic lifestyle of caring for the home cooking and cleaning for their husband he works to provide
00:28:58.140
for her the guy on the podcast says men have been fetishizing this trend because it's their
00:29:03.380
dream scenario which i mean yeah i believe that i do believe that for sure but women what women want
00:29:10.200
to return to the domestic my whole thing about that is like i don't give a fuck if you want to stay at
00:29:15.620
home and cook and clean you want to be if you want to be that girl as long as you're doing it
00:29:21.120
consensually go yeah i don't care i don't care either i don't care at all i just i don't want to hear
00:29:26.460
what you have to say about me not wanting to do absolutely like i don't give a shit what you do
00:29:31.120
right i don't have a problem with you being traditional yeah not at all i'm not gonna say
00:29:35.420
i haven't had that fantasy once or twice it just didn't work out for me so i had to find a skill
00:29:41.680
okay you're i had to develop something otherwise i i always feel too it's very like it's so like
00:29:49.680
oh well women just don't want that anymore there are women who do you just can't force other ones
00:29:55.360
to also do it right because the conversation they never want to have with me when they talk about
00:30:00.120
gender roles i'm always like well gender's not real did you know that that's a man-made
00:30:03.820
construction babe and every time i talk about that they're like what are you talking about i'm like
00:30:08.160
so you guys aren't smart enough to have this conversation with me so i'm gonna tell you to
00:30:11.480
eat my dick and balls like that's what i'm saying that's the only thing you understand
00:30:14.740
you don't understand anything else i say i'm constantly amazed by the comments that i read
00:30:21.660
yeah on the internet about gender roles about the transphobia that's just
00:30:27.380
flung every which way particularly by men yeah girl and then like i'll go to their page
00:30:34.920
and i'm like oh your favorite rapper's who because he's in my dm oh your favorite basketball players
00:30:42.240
who oh he's in my girl's dms and she's trans too girl so your faves and your idols
00:30:48.660
are in our dm and that's a fact that's a literal fucking fact bitch i'm not kidding and you idolize
00:30:55.300
them but you're hating on us maybe take some notes i mean the moment and mark my words i don't know if
00:31:02.840
it's gonna be three years from now five years from now ten years from now once it becomes cool
00:31:07.880
suddenly to date a trans girl all those little sheep watch they're gonna have permission period
00:31:14.100
to follow because they're sheep exactly and you know it's that you're so real for that because
00:31:19.600
that is not a lie so many men in the in the industry oh i mean and i'm i'm not talking about
00:31:26.240
i'm talking about i'm talking about the biggest of the big literally like the most famous the most
00:31:33.040
famous in whatever field exactly hooping yeah rapping uh acting acting yes i got my own listen
00:31:43.000
my girls do too the djs so tread lightly yeah i'm not listen i'm not the one to to blurt out names
00:31:52.340
but i'm just saying your faves yep they want to lay down with us and so you look stupid and goofy
00:32:00.800
when you call us men and shit yeah because the men you idolize do not think that they don't they
00:32:07.360
surely don't girl they don't that's why all my trans my trans girlfriends that have come on they've
00:32:11.780
been like you have no idea who's no i was like their minds would be fucking balloon they would be
00:32:17.560
they would be like yeah it's short circuit they really would they would short circuit that's why i was
00:32:23.200
like it you y'all think you know but you don't you have no idea they love the dolls they do they love the
00:32:30.600
and who wouldn't hello they love the dolls that's i'm like the only reason they don't do it out loud
00:32:35.360
is because it's not socially acceptable acceptable and men are very status driven and we we are still
00:32:40.760
not a status symbol for men and that doesn't stop them from fetishizing though no doing it in secret
00:32:46.860
at all and they and that's all they want and you know what's funny too is like the uh the dolls all
00:32:51.820
talk to each other so they all know there's only so many of them yeah they all know girl we all know
00:32:56.980
that's why i i thought that is like the the craziest thing to me too because i always think
00:33:03.640
to myself i'm like you if you guys knew if y'all knew all of a sudden like you said it would be cool
00:33:08.960
oh it would i mean if they all just the biggest of the biggest names if they all just said tomorrow
00:33:16.300
like yeah i fuck with trans girls yeah yeah yeah that's my lady or whatever oh yeah i laid out i blow
00:33:21.680
her back out on wednesday it would not if transphobia would die tomorrow it literally would
00:33:27.760
disappear yeah it would disappear entirely girl disappear i was like i i've said too i'm like
00:33:32.900
like you said a sheep like i'm like y'all are such you're so not the man that you think you are you're
00:33:39.100
so not because you're a coward i'm like you can't even you can't even come out like and i don't know
00:33:44.420
why it's so hard to wrap their head around that concept when it's it doesn't make you gay if that's
00:33:49.720
what you're afraid of right like if you're if you identify as a man and you like trans women
00:33:54.660
you're not gay yeah so i don't know if that's what you're so afraid of i don't know why that keeps
00:34:00.860
being a thing a conversation over and over again and it's like no matter i've tried to tell people
00:34:07.220
like you know all my exes they you know they they didn't even date other trans girls before me and
00:34:13.720
they went on to cis women after like so it's not like i don't know they i'm just another kind of
00:34:18.180
woman yeah to them you're still a woman that's what i'm saying like it it they they spend too
00:34:23.320
much time thinking about shit that doesn't apply to them or shit that they secretly haven't
00:34:27.700
confronted and then that's why they feel that they feel so fucking attacked and they look like a
00:34:32.020
booger while doing it and i'm like i'm not checking for you yeah relax bitch relax yeah that's i'm not
00:34:39.000
checking for you now your favorite basketball player your favorite rap maybe him not you well and
00:34:45.800
he's checking for her that's what i mean yeah exactly exactly i've and i've even said yeah i
00:34:50.940
said to people before when they're like i would never fuck you okay same okay same neither would i
00:34:56.800
we don't have to even if anything we have a lot in common because i i find you disgusting so it's
00:35:01.640
like we have a lot in common girl we should be friends we should be friends we have so much we
00:35:07.820
could learn a lot from each other yeah we have common interests we both find each other abhorrent to
00:35:12.920
look at so it's a win-win what do you mean that's all right when they say that i'm like okay same
00:35:18.500
they're like that's so fucked up to say to me and that's because men like that literally are like i
00:35:23.580
don't want to fuck you but i can't believe that you don't want me to fuck you yeah of course i don't
00:35:28.340
look at you their egos can't handle that they want it they hate nothing more than hearing uh okay
00:35:34.700
you're ugly you're like well yeah i would never fuck you either because you're ugly yeah and they're
00:35:40.040
like who the fuck do you think you are saying that to me do you get a lot of hate on social media
00:35:45.140
oh yeah yeah oh yeah same yeah it's it's uh i think a lot of it is um well the trans thing but it's
00:35:57.440
also it's also like this very specific kind of like misogyny like it's transphobia and misogyny
00:36:05.300
yeah and then this tornado that it creates yeah oh because you have the nerve to be a bad
00:36:10.040
bitch too and like wait my dick jumped when i looked at you like oh that's just it just sets
00:36:15.560
them off yeah literally or if it's a cis woman doing the hating then it's just her her insecurities
00:36:22.960
that she's just throwing at me yeah girl i'm like jealousy is an ugly color on everyone i promise you
00:36:28.720
that yeah it's ridiculous yeah i was like you're showing your whole real obviously girl because it's
00:36:33.700
like whenever i get hate from women which is like it's it it's rare compared to men but i do get
00:36:39.560
quite a lot of hate from women um when i do i'm always like i don't know like i hope he saw this
00:36:45.500
whoever you're hoping will text you back i hope you saw this i hope you saw it girl i hope you get
00:36:50.580
your i hope you get a text back i really do yeah because like who's this for like you're on my you're
00:36:55.880
on my page growing on my house right and there's just this level of bravery bravery online that they
00:37:01.540
don't have in real life either for real because i'm a no-nonsense bitch you and me both and so if
00:37:07.180
you ever wanted it in the street these hands is nice what did cardi say my hands are nice
00:37:14.440
but um no i had i had to get off instagram after we did our press run for monica i was like i don't
00:37:22.160
know if i can do this anymore yeah i'll go on when it was like a paid post or something but
00:37:27.180
i miss the analog world does that sound really old am i old i'm old i mean i was born in 81 so i miss
00:37:37.620
the analog world like i really do and so i mean tiktok is a i feel like i could be wrong but it's
00:37:46.200
maybe it's because it's newer for me it feels a little lighter and funnier yeah um but instagram
00:37:50.440
it's just like so much hate totally it's nasty on there i i was just and then twitter got even
00:37:56.500
worse which i don't even yeah i don't even use that anymore twitter's the scariest one like
00:38:00.900
yeah the worst hate but i feel like on instagram too like it's almost like uh i talked about it
00:38:06.760
recently because i i had posted a real and it was one i i had had on my tiktok for a while so i just
00:38:12.500
put it on tiktok because it was funny and it wasn't making fun of anyone at all it was like
00:38:15.400
literally just me and my man um being silly and when i posted that like oh girl it did it hit the
00:38:22.520
algorithm so it did well i hadn't seen that kind of hate in years i was like girl what the fuck is
00:38:27.160
going on like there are some nasty ass people on instagram yeah and the way they find you i feel
00:38:31.720
like a lot of times is through reels which is why i was like what the hell is going on and um it's
00:38:37.720
pretty bad on there and i feel like i wasn't used to it on that app because on instagram you know you
00:38:41.720
follow who you like so it's like your feed is so curated that it's never anyone random it's always
00:38:47.040
just like who you like and who you know and so i feel like maybe that's why i was so shocked to see
00:38:52.260
it on that app because i was like girl what is going on here yeah so many men found me and they
00:38:56.680
hate me on there too it's horrible i think it's just i think it's this hit of like dopamine that they
00:39:03.800
get oh totally that um they don't know how to get that in their own lives so they can just turn
00:39:10.120
into a keyboard warrior and very good at typing like turn that into a scale shit exactly apply for
00:39:17.600
a job girl i uh i posted a video a month or two ago and i was like i was defending like wnba players
00:39:24.280
right and i was like saying like um if you're a man who couldn't even make a varsity in high school i
00:39:28.440
don't give a fuck what you think about professional women's basketball players i saw that yeah i was like
00:39:32.720
i don't care at all what you have to say and when i posted that video obviously a whole bunch of men
00:39:38.480
under five eight were like you don't know what the fuck you're talking about you fucking fatty
00:39:41.780
they're all mad at me of course they are which is that's like that's their whole thing with me
00:39:45.420
they hate me um and so when they started commenting like shit like that like one of the last things i
00:39:51.200
said in the video was like um instead of worrying instead of worrying about someone else's stats like
00:39:56.680
how many dates have you been on in the last month because you've been late and last year
00:40:00.900
yeah maybe worry about those numbers bitch like maybe get those up and then maybe we can have a
00:40:04.700
conversation so i made that joke and then i had so many men be like and what does sex have to do
00:40:09.980
with oh everything because that's why you act that way because you don't get any that's why you act
00:40:14.700
that way yeah because if you were happy yeah you wouldn't be up under these exactly like you are if
00:40:19.940
you didn't fucking hate women you would be getting laid and you wouldn't be so miserable that's my
00:40:24.260
point so like the fact that i had to draw that map for you kind of proves my point which is like
00:40:30.140
you're so miserable in your life you hate yourself so you feel like you get this like sense of power
00:40:35.840
by like throwing like posting anonymous hate or whatever on other people's profiles that includes
00:40:41.500
yours and mine yeah it's insane there's a it's an epidemic of men right now that are searching for
00:40:48.560
purpose and it's coming out in weird ways it's coming out in in a lot of misogynistic ways yeah like i i
00:40:58.760
saw like i think there was like that study that came out i think it was last year like 2023 where
00:41:03.860
they said there's like a um like a loneliness epidemic for men specifically and uh in the study
00:41:11.540
a lot of them were talking about how uh women and anyone else who does not operate within a gender
00:41:15.980
binary are essentially like they're moving on with their lives like they're not like oh i hope a man
00:41:21.860
loves me one like they're still pursuing life outside of men because they're like all of you suck
00:41:26.720
i'm gonna keep doing what i gotta do and being happy right and um they're super okay with being
00:41:32.760
alone whereas men were not counting on that so they're not okay being alone right and now they're
00:41:38.140
making that is also our fault like it's like everything's women's fault like everything is our
00:41:43.540
fault like when you're awful to us that's my fault for being sensitive when you're lonely that's my fault
00:41:47.680
for not dating you girl yeah i'm like it's so hard life is so hard for a cis man oh
00:42:02.100
okay let me read some of the comments on this video this one says bet she'll look younger longer than all
00:42:09.560
those boss bitches working 17 hour days and hooking up with some stranger on tinder
00:42:14.240
huh okay he's saying a traditional wife would look younger longer because they wouldn't be working
00:42:20.380
and hooking up with some stranger on tinder it's a very detailed comment i bet you wish you were
00:42:27.300
hooking up with a stranger on tinder huh yeah and uh i don't know about that one
00:42:33.760
17 hour days i'm like you know what makes women look like tired or older stress right you know who
00:42:42.360
stresses people out men so you want to talk about whose fault that is that's probably yours if they
00:42:48.780
if they're looking tired like especially women who are like their mothers and their wives and then they
00:42:54.600
have male partners who are not active participants in either the relationship or the kids lives and
00:42:59.880
she's just doing everything and working uh-huh yeah she's gonna be stressed yeah yeah yeah you know
00:43:06.020
they want to like it sometimes when they say that shit about like i wish women acted like my mom
00:43:10.960
or whatever the fuck i'm always thinking like your perception of women is so archaic but also like
00:43:18.200
women had no choice for a long time like because they couldn't do anything like they couldn't get a
00:43:23.900
bank account couldn't buy a car couldn't get a job right for so many years so the fact that you
00:43:28.780
you really think your great great great great grandma loved your grandpa please she probably
00:43:34.720
thought about all the ways to kill him thousands of times she was surviving yeah she was literally
00:43:38.580
surviving like literally that's why i'm like if your great great great great grandma had the choice
00:43:43.140
she would not have picked your grandpa i guarantee it i guarantee it bitch she hates him and she hates
00:43:47.880
you i bet you anything so i was like you're so fucking delusional if you think your mom like your
00:43:52.700
great great like a few generations back when they had no rights at all that he was like oh it was true
00:43:57.420
love true love true love yes they hang up this laundry on the prairie
00:44:05.460
literally i'm like yeah women were being like abused left and right and never taken seriously when
00:44:12.320
they would report it but yeah i'm sure it was true love i'm sure they loved him i'm sure they felt that
00:44:17.480
way this next one says the government tricked women into being like men so they can charge more for
00:44:23.900
everything where now you have to have two incomes to live and double taxes huh i mean it is expensive
00:44:31.220
nowadays but i don't think that's our fault again i think that's called inflation that's called
00:44:37.520
inflation that's not our fault either dude that's crazy he's like that's that's also women's fault
00:44:43.360
i'm like shit add it to my list so many things i have to apologize for this next one says if you
00:44:49.360
don't have a trade girl it's you wait what it's you who are the problem you're not a provider okay
00:44:56.700
he's saying if you don't have a traditional wife it's because you're not a provider you ever been
00:45:01.260
with a man who's a provider yes and no yes yes i provided too yeah i mean why not have two incomes yeah
00:45:12.560
yeah yeah that's why sometimes i think too like men who write shit like that sometimes i think i'm like
00:45:18.360
have you ever been in a relationship right anyone right because it's not like a hey 50 50 everything
00:45:25.540
you know what i'm saying like it's very like i'll pay for this you pay for it's the same thing i do
00:45:29.760
with my friends like i'm like i got this meal like next time you got me like you know what i mean that's
00:45:34.880
i'm like you guys over complicate shit like yes it's not like that and if someone sits down he's like
00:45:39.360
i want a 50 50 split get out of my fucking face yeah and i don't mean i don't look i don't mind
00:45:45.020
making you a steak on a friday evening yeah once a week yeah and giving you some head when you get
00:45:50.620
home from your long day if you paying 60 of the bills yeah i don't mind but i just don't want to
00:45:59.580
be locked in a box exactly that's what i that's literally what i'm saying i'm like you know what's
00:46:04.280
crazy is that your wildest dreams of what you perceive to be in women like like what you would
00:46:10.700
love from them they'll happily give you without you having to ask as long as you're not an asshole
00:46:16.220
like if you're a good person and you provide equal footing in the relationship you'll live the the
00:46:23.300
best life you've ever had yeah she'll be the best partner you've ever fucking had right because women
00:46:28.660
stay with men who are fucking awful like i don't know how they don't well okay we've all been in our
00:46:34.620
early 20s before and i've done that too i know i've kind of talked about i was like there's always one
00:46:39.800
one specifically where you're like oh man my eyes were completely what was i doing yeah yeah you're
00:46:45.440
like my eyes were shut bitch like i i wasn't i was digmatized something was going on i know even i
00:46:52.980
have one i have one where i was literally like when i look back i'm like girl what the fuck like i plead
00:46:59.400
temporary insanity because what was wrong with me did you ever shake your purse shake my purse did you
00:47:04.260
ever like give them money for something oh no no no well no no i never gave money but it was more so
00:47:12.180
like there were so many glaring red flags and i was like oh i can't see anything i'm like oh you know
00:47:19.280
immediately and now looking even then like my friends who had dated some of the weirdest worst
00:47:25.280
people ever like we all we all like would joke about it like they all had their phases with like
00:47:29.160
random dudes where i'm like he sucks but they just like were like i know but like but i wanted i want
00:47:35.880
to sleep with him so bad uh which fair you know what i mean as long as everyone as long as everyone's
00:47:40.140
honest right yeah so my friends and i would joke about it all the time but my i never really had
00:47:44.580
anyone like that at the time like the men that i were dating they were like okay but that one my
00:47:49.700
friends are like hey girl um yeah are you being stupid on purpose or what's going on your friends
00:47:56.060
are always right yeah your friends are always right so you can just you know not waste the time and
00:48:00.720
listen to them yeah or you can waste another year oh yeah girl you know and i the reason why i found
00:48:07.440
what i found out about him i was i was the other woman he was in a very serious relationship and i was
00:48:12.200
just like a fling but i i did not know i had no fucking clue at all she probably didn't know either
00:48:18.240
oh no she had no idea and he like when i didn't even like i was like i'm not even gonna dignify
00:48:24.360
this bitch with like an explanation i'm just gonna cut it off like i was just like i don't owe you shit
00:48:27.980
so i'm just not talking to you anymore yeah and then when he did reach out to me he's like
00:48:32.920
also like i don't like i'm not with her like you know like we're just like co-parenting because like
00:48:40.140
he told me she was about to have a baby and i was like hey um i'm 21 i'm not gonna be a stepmom are you
00:48:46.920
out of your fucking mind like i mean congrats but i'm out like what the fuck and he was like oh
00:48:53.180
yeah no like she's gonna meet whatever the fuck again me entertaining the shit and like listening
00:48:57.540
to it for way too long like i was just like being a friend kind of kind of shit but not and then i got
00:49:05.040
a call from her one day did you yeah like at two in the morning and she told me she hacked his ipad
00:49:11.880
phone number in order to get my phone number because he used to text me all the time but i
00:49:16.120
have a boy name so she thought i was a boy so she thought i was a boy she's like who the fuck are you
00:49:21.100
texting all the time and he's like oh it's my friend drew hilarious so she thought i was i was like oh
00:49:25.300
friend hilarious friend wow i don't do that with my friends but
00:49:31.140
she called me and she she talked to me but she wasn't mad at me she just like wanted to know the
00:49:38.060
truth yeah and she had asked me like you know do you live in this place specifically and i was like
00:49:43.800
no but my friend does and then she had told me the night the very first night we met he like slept he
00:49:50.480
slept over at my friend's house with me then went home and then when she said what the fuck were you
00:49:54.960
doing over there because he has no business being over there and he was like oh i was just hanging out
00:49:59.880
with my friend and i got drunk and fell asleep like he created this whole story but she told me
00:50:04.740
she she sneakily put a tracking thing on his phone and that's how she knew he was there and i was oh
00:50:09.480
why do we have to do all that i know i said girl you're doing all that shit what are we doing
00:50:13.180
what are we if you have to do all that it's already it's gone girl already let her go give her back to
00:50:19.520
god i did yeah exactly so i literally encouraged her i was like fuck him we're better than that
00:50:26.280
we deserve better you and i me just empowering her exactly i had one one wife call me respectfully
00:50:32.800
like that and coming to you as a woman yeah she was like yeah um and i was straight up with her
00:50:39.500
yeah but i've also had bitches call me out of pocket too
00:50:42.920
at first i thought maybe that's what it was at first but then she started crying and i was like
00:50:49.840
okay well she's not yeah she's not trying to like like step to me she's just trying to like get the
00:50:54.960
get answers but i'm like even then she would ask she was asking me like really detailed but she's
00:50:59.720
like oh like can you tell me and i even told her i was like i don't think you want to hear
00:51:03.780
that stuff i wouldn't if i were you exactly you don't want to hear it i'm telling you right now
00:51:08.340
you don't want to know that i'm a dream either well can you say that
00:51:11.320
that's gonna send you in a whole nother spiral have you withheld that too yeah i'm like i'll spare her
00:51:18.380
that oh that's that's really nice of you yeah i'll spare her that that's really nice of you
00:51:22.960
that's crazy yeah that's crazy yeah it's just uh you know because i look i didn't know about you
00:51:30.080
either bitch yes don't call my phone crazy no same that's why and that's what i told that's the first
00:51:36.880
thing i told her i was like i had no idea like i didn't and as soon as he told me i was out but the
00:51:43.180
what he told me is not what you're telling me because what what he told me was that you guys were
00:51:47.760
just like good friends and all that type of shit turns out she was living with him the entire time
00:51:53.120
so i was like oh love that because they were a couple for 10 years prior to that and i was like
00:51:58.660
oh nice love that wow but there were lots of signs before that which is why i was like okay my eyes
00:52:04.940
were shut completely that's on me uh but that's just because i was like it was it was obvious shit
00:52:12.040
too like it was i would invite him out and he would never want to go but at night he would want to
00:52:16.140
come to me oh yeah but he would never let me go over there he only wanted to come to me only at
00:52:20.640
night telltale yeah that's what i was like telltale signs those are like so obvious those are such
00:52:26.460
obvious signs it's so funny how early on we get that little spidey sense in our gut and then we
00:52:33.640
ignore it usually until like our mid-30s and then you hit a breaking point and you're like i can't do it
00:52:40.980
more uh you know and now i have to find the will to go on a date i have to find the will i have to
00:52:47.240
pray about it i have to take an energy drink for real i have to meditate yeah my uh my sister she's uh
00:52:57.100
she's kind of dating but she she's gay so she when she was talking to me she was like yeah like i don't
00:53:03.720
know like she had said something about dating and i was like well girl dating men i feel like i was like
00:53:08.960
if you liked men you'd have a ton of dates they'd just be with the worst people you've ever hot
00:53:14.060
garbage ever seen in your life like both personality and looks like they'd be awful it would be awful
00:53:20.220
girl like yes count your blessings in that sense i was like it would not be better the amount of like
00:53:25.580
men the amount of nights i've stayed up and prayed that god would make me a lesbian it's just not
00:53:32.600
happened for me and i've tried you and me both i have tried yeah sometimes someone once on my tour
00:53:39.700
asked me she was like oh like because i've talked about how like i've like had a visceral hatred for
00:53:44.400
men running through my bloodstream for a long as long as i can remember and i was like telling her i
00:53:49.500
was like yeah and obviously based off my content y'all can tell that but she had asked me like did you
00:53:54.080
ever think that maybe you liked women and i said yeah i did in college i was like maybe i maybe i like
00:53:58.580
women like maybe i'm gonna try just women and she was like well how do you know for sure and then i
00:54:02.600
was like because i tried it and it didn't work yeah and then when i did it i said fuck that means i
00:54:07.840
like men yeah i gave it a good old try too yeah it's just not the same for me that's why i was like
00:54:15.040
that's how i know it's not a choice okay well we've talked about a lot of things so many things but
00:54:19.660
especially how much we hate men period um but back to the uh to the point of you obviously being an
00:54:25.740
actress um what would you say is your best piece of advice for not just women in general but trans
00:54:31.900
girls too who are trying to get into the industry and like really want to be an actress and like want
00:54:36.360
to be in whether it's tv film like do you have any like really good advice for them or any pearls of
00:54:43.400
wisdom you want to share oh there's two things if you can do anything else do it but if you really
00:54:53.560
want to act yeah um lean into the things that make you unique because there are so many talented
00:55:02.840
people out there and in certain rooms you know it it's gonna be like a lottery so you gotta you really
00:55:12.440
gotta lean into what makes you you yeah and bring that to bring that to the role totally um because
00:55:20.920
people will see that and and people innately gravitate towards authenticity yeah absolutely
00:55:28.280
well thank you so much for coming on the episode i adore you i adore you you're amazing you got a key
00:55:34.820
in real life too oh i would love that period well bring johnny okay we'll all have a girl's night out
00:55:41.220
absolutely absolutely true and that's a real offer i'm being dead serious okay i said it online so
00:55:46.360
you're all witness to me so if trace doesn't hang out with me you guys saw it hey it's an honor you
00:55:52.480
are a real life superhero to me oh thank you i appreciate you so you are also a hero to me i'm
00:55:57.580
fucking in awe of you i can't wait to keep watching you ascend it's gonna be awesome thank you we'll be
00:56:01.900
at the oscars together but i'll be interviewing you let's claim it there you go speak it into existence
00:56:06.880
thank you so much for joining me i love you you're amazing thank you all so much for joining us on
00:56:12.460
this episode of the comment section show before we go where can everybody find you oh uh just at
00:56:19.880
trace lissette um on all socials period do you have anything you want to promote um oh there's a movie
00:56:27.480
called dope queens that uh is looking for a home and so just be on the lookout for it period how exciting
00:56:36.860
okay thank you so much to trace for coming on the show thank you all for watching make sure y'all
00:56:41.580
go follow trace on literally everything she's a superstar and she's going to continue to be a
00:56:45.040
mega star and make sure y'all watch her movie monica which is already out and it's incredible
00:56:49.900
so make sure y'all go see it thank you so much for joining us this week don't forget the comment
00:56:54.140
section episodes drop every wednesday you can stream the audio on all streaming platforms but
00:56:59.020
the video lives exclusively and for free on spotify thank you again to my amazing guests thank
00:57:04.240
you to all of you and i'll see you next week bye