YOU’RE PISSING ME RIGHT OFF Ft. Ayamé Ponder
Summary
In this episode of the comment section, we are joined by the hilarious the iconic the amazing the amazing ayami ponder. We talk about her new life in the states, her new job as a hairdresser, and how she s excited to be here in America.
Transcript
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we put beans with everything literally everything literally everything they're like and do you want
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beans no i don't respectfully wait whoa whoa hold on whoa i've just tuned into what you just said
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did you say especially my breakfast yeah you're pissing me right off girl no you don't have beans
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with your breakfast girl what do you think that is a breakfast that is a breakfast staple
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hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me your fave
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everybody knows me blah blah blah blah blah on to the guest today we have the hilarious the iconic
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hello hello hi you sound like you're from london i hate that so much do you know where that uh
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quote is from no that's from forgetting sarah marshall girl who's that
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the it's like a movie and it's paul rudd's character oh it takes place in hawaii that's my people oh wow
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that's my culture well not hawaiian but like palnesia and he's just like a surf instructor
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and like i think it's russell brand is the one that he's like hurt and he's british and he's like
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please get me help and he's like you sound like you're from london oh that's my joke to all british
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people see that's my opener to all of them yeah i don't like it or there's people that do i don't
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blame you the queen of england oh hello the quick cheerio yeah makes you want to yeah i almost hear
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from across the pond if you couldn't tell y'all hello that's not a fake accent that's for real
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hello i was testing it before were you i'm just like oh i also need to tell you this
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my hair and makeup artist slash cousin um named adam he's a huge fan of yours oh my god he wanted
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me to tell you hi adam he's not here he doesn't exist really yeah he wanted me to tell you you're
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his favorite tiktoker oh my god piss off and i'm a tiktoker so that's really fucking rude yeah that's a
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i'm sure it's fine because you'd like you just he you know he knows you yeah whatever i'll kill him
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it's okay oh but i'm happy to have you yay are you excited to be here in the states i'm yes
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i yes yeah don't deport me yet no because i just don't like this part of the states yeah sorry la
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yeah i don't blame you yeah lots of people don't like la it's hell actually i hate it it's pretty
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bad you know actually i feel more comfortable i think it's absolutely despicable place i think it's
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disgusting do what you gotta do girl let them know i piss people off all the time you do so now i feel
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more comfortable not to switch gears but like i went to london for the very first time oh not too
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long ago no yes i was there for a minute girl yeah and i i sampled it first of all it's so clean
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there thank you it's so clean oh my god i was like this is new york if new york didn't have human
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shit on the street oh wow and i've been in new york i have yeah i love new york lots of human shit
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on the street okay well that's funny because there's somewhere in notting did you go to
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notting hill like no i didn't really go anywhere outside of london to be honest well not it's in
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london oh yeah notting hill portobello road you go to portobello road that's like a
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sure great i honestly don't know i know i was near shaftsbury avenue i was like staying
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yes that's where i was staying around that's my that's my uh that's your old stomping ground no i
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just i just i'm proud of myself that i know where things are oh um but i did enjoy my time in london
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i'm glad i am glad i'm glad you said it was clean because it was really like as i'm talking my jaw is
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like i'm glad you said it was it was really just me it was my jaw going um i don't think so i'm not
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too sure what you're referencing but okay you look great to me it feels really like oh no maybe i mean
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every time you make that noise it does that okay sorry go on no go on clean when i went i was glad i
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went in the winter because i hear you guys don't have air conditioning everywhere which i find to be a
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crime against nature and honestly a sin against god if i'm being honest it's because we're just
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old yeah i feel that and i feel like because i went to paris in the summer and um girl i sweat so
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much it was fucking yeah yeah we don't i think we just say and it's crazy to me because we haven't
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learned we haven't learned that we need more air conditioning and air conditioning needs to be
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readily available yeah and every summer people die and every sorry i feel like i'm really taking
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every summer people die and people metaphorically die of the heat yeah and um we don't say do you
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know what we could do we could actually just install some ac yeah but we don't do that i was telling i was
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like everyone needs to get together over there and be like we need to put air conditioning everywhere
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yeah also when i was in paris no elevators anywhere oh yeah no girl and if they were they were on
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some sort of pulley system yeah bitch come on i'm too happy to go on that thing don't do that to me
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don't do that to me with my man please we have to go in one at a time it's and they're literally
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dinky i just came back from paris and actually hated that too yeah no i didn't they were lovely
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but it was yeah it was cool like it was so fun and everything is so like you said old like it's real
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like architecture is so old over there and in london too and i was like that's awesome um love that so
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much i do hate that i can't see it that great because there's sweat in my fucking eyes because
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there was no elevator to climb these fucking stairs yeah also i will say the tube that's what you all
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call it i'm assuming oh the tube the tube tube right yeah yeah me like as i kept saying the word
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i'm like that word doesn't sound right no the tube the tube well we say tube because you don't say
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it but no that's that's fine the the tube the tube was very polite actually it was very polite
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are you pissing me off no i'm swear to god everybody was so nice what time did you go on
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the tube i went i want to say at like 10 30 11 a.m that's why it was nice yeah that was it was before
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commute yes if you go on a commute they're pissing rude it was so funny though because when i was on
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first of all um i was the wind fuck with that like there's like a little wind tunnel i love that
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because every other subway i've ever taken it's a million and one degrees down there but that
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little wind i fucked with it i did feel like andre the giant though in there because like my head was
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almost touching the ceiling i was like everything is so fucking small we're really dinky how tall are
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you i'm six feet tall well then fuck yeah our men are barely six feet tall so this is really
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i know my man is six four and when we were in there he was kind of like this
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is he really yeah he is girl that's congratulations that's why sometimes people are like how
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tell you like five six i'm like no i'm six feet tall they're like well then why does your boyfriend
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look like that because he's taller than me he's also built like a proper human because he's also
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he's taller than me yeah because god loves him unlike every man who's not six feet and come on
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and i yeah the tube was the tube the tube was very nice um at the time yeah um i will say though
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when we started getting off almost got ran over uh the way they speed off that shit like i in new
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york i'm used to it in new york i'm used to it but like for some reason since everyone was so chill
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i was like oh we're chill i got mowed down by a bitch trying to go to the airport i was like okay
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all right well in paris did you take the fucking girl i have i don't like the doors the way that
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those doors close with an aggression that i have never seen that's how they the guillotine is modeled
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after those like they lived the way they're like probably like i saw a little girl get slammed in
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that shit and then got separated she was like yeah she was probably like nine and she got left behind
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by her mom her mom got in oh that wouldn't have upset me and then and then a french lady next to her
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was like it's okay it's okay i've seen a video of that of that there was like a little kid that
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got left and he was sobbing on the floor it's insane but that must be scary as a child like
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i was like me when i watched it i was like well damn i don't want what happened to her to happen
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to me that's true yeah they are aggressive i think they're just rude in general yeah but i i will say
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i did start a war with um the brits yes over over food yeah would you like to discuss that sure let's
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i would love to and then i'll talk about the war you started and that's actually our topic for today
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oh it's pissing off look at that segue but i started it because first of all when i went to london i was
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like i'm gonna try an english breakfast like a full english breakfast okay i want to try it i was
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like i i'm intrigued yeah i've been seeing the videos and i kind of compared it to like thanksgiving
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food where it's like a whole bunch of shit but all of it together tastes good so that's okay yeah i'm
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gonna try a full english whatever had it on the plane not great but then i was like this is plain food
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so i'm gonna take it with a grain of salt who did you fly with uh there i flew virgin atlantic then
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yeah yeah so i tried i tried it and i was like i'm not loving that but like it's okay i'll try it
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again tried it again didn't love it tried it two more times decided i hate it respectfully okay love
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you though what did you hate about it i mean i think i hate that it feels like you guys are eating
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in medieval times okay you guys are eating like you're rationing food and i find that to be upsetting a
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little bit right like um i just feel like they pillaged so many countries for spices and not one
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of them made it into the cuisine i find that a little confusing yes well here's the funny thing
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actually that's about that our top dish like the most popular dish i bet i know what it is go on
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is it tikka masala and that's on period and that is on colonization yeah
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and the indian food they're bangs yeah that shit is good yeah i had italian food there
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it's not proper indian food like chicken tikka masala doesn't actually exist in india like it's
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not actually an indian dish it is what we created imperialism i love it but um i mean i did have a
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fish and chips though at a pub yeah that was good okay i fucked with that y'all have vinegar and salt
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on deck bitch on every table i don't like vinegar vinegar salt i don't love vinegar but on that fish i was
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like okay i don't like fish and chips either really yeah no it's too um
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it's too like fish e for me and also just like the batter i'm not crazy about the batter have you
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had a battered sausage no but my boyfriend had a sausage roll yes and i did try that and that was
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where where did he have a sausage roll we had it in the lounge at the airport no but it was but i was
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it was good though tasted like stuffing if you guys have ever had stuffing yeah we have stuffing
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like like like roast dinner stuffing yeah yeah yeah yeah that would that is what a lot of british
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people were telling me they're like did you have a sunday roast and i was like no sunday roast but
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you have that here no do you have sunday roast here yorkshire puddings so you should have yorkshire
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pudding sunday roast but you should have gone to like the places that are like where did you eat
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your full english i really want to because it's just like it's just eggs yeah and i don't like how you
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make them what's going on there what do you mean i think they're too runny but like they're
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scrambled why are they runny if they're scrambled make them scrambled oh you want to so just well
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done yeah huh what you guys cook your eggs well done you can get well yeah you can also well done
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wait someone asked me something while i was there and they were like how do you want that cooked and i
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was like huh like i was like because i don't like in america we don't do that i forget i thought you
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ask for egg preference no egg preference yeah yeah so they asked me yeah and i i do love an over easy
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egg i love a runny egg i love yolk i love all that but not runny scrambled yeah because what's the
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point you know like if that's the case i would have gotten over easy but i didn't yes so it's like
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i don't know it was i forget the name of the place i had and i honestly don't want to say it because i
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don't want to fuck them up but i it's not it has nothing to do with them it's i literally don't even
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remember if i remembered i would tell you it was near where i was staying i do know that's why i feel
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like it wasn't that good you think because you have to go to like a proper caf that's like i mean
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no maybe you know what there's no point you know what i'm not gonna try and convince you actually
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because you already made your mind up you've already been there that's just that's just based
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off what i had while i was there yeah i will say though you guys knocked snacks out of the park
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yeah like chips or what do you call them crisps and shit like like little chocolate candies you guys
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knock that shit out of the park i feel like chocolate over here tastes so weird it's a lot different
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it's a lot different it's like we have i think we have more milk content that's why
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yeah well dairy is better in in uh europe in general because i have a huge i have a huge dairy
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well i'm actually violently lactose intolerant oh my god i choose to ignore it a lot of times which
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is a bad thing but when i'm in europe it doesn't affect me because the dairy is different yeah no i
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feel like since being here i have shat myself girl so many times it is so bad i don't know why do
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they want to kill you i don't understand you know sorry when i pissed a lot of people off i was just
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like hey um the shit is ass but mostly like why do you keep putting peas on my plate like i'll kill
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the next place on my plate bitch like a little petty pois just why peas of all the vegetables you
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could pick why i feel like it's quite an easy it's just easy but they're gross peas really like a petty
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pot yeah a god did you i don't know what you're saying you could be casting a spell on me girl
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no um you know because you can get garden peas which are like fat okay yeah i had the little
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minis whatever the fuck you don't like those girl no next to my fries my chips yeah girl what they run
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around see if you look at like do you have bird's eye here no bird's eye is like our frozen food
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thing you like you can get bird's eye chicken dippers okay okay is that like a chicken tender
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to dip no it's like well yes but it's shaped like a little that okay it's cute it's like a chicken
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nugget but like stretched yeah that's a chicken tender here that's what they call them no because i
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feel like tender has like the way you bread them i see what you're saying is different do you know
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what i mean so it's a long chicken nugget a long chicken nugget gotcha yeah just said the visual
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got it the visual got it yeah but in all of our bird's eye adverts they all have chips chicken
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dippers peas and ketchup what's going on knock it off hey knock it off that's why i'm like if you're
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going to put green on the plate make it something else why does it have to be broccoli yeah i'm cool
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with that okay i love broccoli oh okay peas and i was like quit putting them where they're not
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supposed to be and then a lot of people were like oh girl it's because you got to have mushy peas
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huh huh no what the fuck are you talking about i don't know how do you make mushy peas
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do you know i don't piss in hell no i don't know what they are i think it's just peas you just
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you just mush them yeah oh i thought someone told me you put milk and shit in them and i'm like huh
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off are you fucking with me sorry no i wouldn't do that i was like i don't like mushy peas the way i
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was like i was like i love y'all so much but like knock it off you're telling me get some mushy peas
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girl what the fuck you can get it in a can i'll mush my nuts on your forehead how about that
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i was like i don't i don't i just don't want them near my shitty food like if i'm eating shitty food
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i'm eating shitty food i've made i've made peace with eating shitty food i don't want to see a
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pee next to it yeah okay don't remind me about that and the thing is i feel like i understand you
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because because i'm half i'm half caribbean so i know what flavor is period i don't just have the full
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english whiteness but so i feel like i understand the flavor options but at some times i do side
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with the colonizer just because i'm just because i've grown up near and dear to your heart yeah so
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like a sausage it's like nostalgic yeah that's how i feel about american food too like sometimes i'm
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like i was like nothing makes me more america raw than going to europe because like every time i go
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i'm like okay well at least in america they have fucking elevators and air conditioning i'm just like
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the worst american ever when i go over there yeah but i think that's just patriotism patriotism
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yeah it's like patriotism nationalism yeah those both of those things are bad but like when i think
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of that i think of edl which is like it's called english defense league and it's basically people
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i i feel like when i was there too and i was talking shit i got a lot of people messaging me
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and they're like oh that's because you fucking americans are so fucking fat and you have all
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these additives and fucking corn syrup and shit i have been saying that and i was like okay
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i was like you know what though like be that as it may right i didn't say i said give me a spice
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bitch that's what i said right i said i don't want to i don't want to eat food that looks like the
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food that like matthew mcconnell had to stomach through on the spaceship and interstellar like medieval
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girl i don't want one that looks like it's in a bag and i have to pour hot water in it and shake
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it up in order to activate it like don't do that to me well i feel like it's because we have no
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natural flavors and spices yeah because we don't all we have really is like potatoes and bread
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yeah that's our like that's what a lot of people are telling me yeah so that's not too many british
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people were mad at me some of them weren't pissed off at me i mean it's not that deep yeah but it's
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not like you're saying fuck yeah i was literally just like your cuisine is ass but i love y'all though
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like y'all gave us one direction i'm thankful okay i'm thankful for y'all okay appreciate it yeah
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love you down adele yeah and adele there you go i was like love that everywhere else has food
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you guys have them yeah and that's okay we have we all have our strengths we all have our strengths
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ours is just not food that's why we go on ships and steal other people's food yeah what about your
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beef let's hear about yours that you started with the americans my beef i hate them all um
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pretty much no my beef pretty much is i wish you would all just go away no i don't even have my
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beef was unintentional yeah it was about the rain yeah which apparently i thought it was funny oh
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thank you yeah but people took it in a way that i was saying okay fuck the people that die which is
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not which is not what i'm saying yeah not at all yeah at all i didn't even know people died we're
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silly people on the internet we're just silly little kiki yeah we're making little kiki jokes
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and everyone's like you should research before you make a video no hey i'll tell you what i'm not
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gonna do is that i'm sorry no it's your job to teach me yeah just like with every other issue
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no it's not it's well and also like i mean you guys see this on what two days a year like uh
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yeah like groundhogs yeah so there you go so like so that everyone's like oh you hate it here because
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of the rain i don't give a fuck about the rain you're all the rain is actually making me feel
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so happy i hate you that's that's the issue here no but i saw that it was raining and basically was
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like i got a flood warning and i was like guys a little bit of drink get a grip it's actually
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drizzled like a little bit of spit yeah get a hold of yourself yeah only people die yeah but i didn't
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know that's people just taking it too seriously again it's like that's not what you were talking
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about it's like they're likening it to something else that you weren't even talking about which i
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know but people get so pissed off when you talk shit about stuff that's irrelevant like it's not
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it's not anything that's racially based or anything it's literally something silly the rain and food
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like it's like it's never that serious it was like i don't understand it people like why i'm not
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personally attacking you but now i am because you're stupid because now i think you're actually dumb
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you're dumb you have no sense well google the joke and then get back to me yeah and that's actually
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what i did i said too i'm like first of all chill like because some some some british people were
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literally like i've supported you forever the fact that you're attacking shit girl relax i wasn't
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talking about you i wasn't talking about you or your mom's food all right i was talking about
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their mom's food is probably shite as well i was like i was being a dickhead on the internet like
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that's google a joke and get back to me because that's literally what i'm doing i'm being silly it's
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not that fucking serious and someone messaged me they're like they're just mad because they eat
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like alley cats that's hilarious we do that is oh yeah my uh my boyfriend was telling me there
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i fuck i forget the dish but you guys put put tuna on it and i was like jack and potato that i have
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seen jack and potato with tuna and cheese yeah what's going on there no but that is okay but have you
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had it no it doesn't appeal i do love tuna i do love a baked potato yeah i do love that try it
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honestly tuna mayo with cheese it's honestly what kind of cheese um any cheese you like really or is
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it like a cheddar oh anything okay ideally not mozzarella because i feel like that's a bit too
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soft you want to do like a salty cheese gotcha to match with the salt of the fit it's it's okay
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okay there's also beans yeah those i can't get behind i tried fake beans i tried fake beans i tried
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i tried putting it on shit like i tried putting it on the fucking bread and everything you didn't
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like fake beans girl beans on toast with cheese i like beans just not with all my meals but
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especially especially not my breakfast we put beans with everything literally everything literally
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everything they're like and do you want beans no i don't respectfully wait whoa hold up whoa i've
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just tuned into what you just said did you say especially my breakfast yeah you're pissing me
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right off girl no you don't have beans with your breakfast girl what do you think that is a
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breakfast that is a breakfast staple is it beans sure for prisoners
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baked beans girl i don't know what you y'all are fucking on no that's okay for everyone at home
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it's like bush's beans y'all know bush's beans and you guys have what heinz yeah heinz beans
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okay heinz beans beans yeah so like bush's beans is what the fuck they're putting on everything
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bitch including breakfast no but that's what you mean including it's the breakfast like it is the
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breakfast what do you have it with dinner baked beans with dinner bitch with a roast chicken i
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don't i'm trying to think of a beans sorry do you know what now i understand you know oh yeah like
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like short ribs and baked beans yeah like like barbecue what the pissing heck yeah like racks of ribs
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or they'll have like hot dogs and beans on the side kind of deal you guys put you guys put tuna
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on your potatoes i don't want to hear it no but that makes sense that makes sense that's a savory
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that doesn't make that's what i'm saying sorry no that that now i understand the dms that like i
00:22:21.860
supported you for so long they're like i can't get behind this i can't get behind this i can't get
00:22:26.580
behind this i tried baked beans i believed in y'all and you let me down you know what i didn't go to a
00:22:32.300
chicken shop i didn't go to one though i wish i did they're not very good it's just it's a chicken
00:22:37.080
shop it's like okay and i'm saying that and you're like sure no it's like it's like okay do
00:22:43.280
you have you had canes here raising canes have you had that here no huh okay raising canes is like
00:22:48.400
is it's a chain restaurant but it's it's like fast food but they only serve like chicken tenders
00:22:53.400
and fries that's it and bread oh so that's all the meals they have it's like they have like three
00:22:58.700
fucking things and like one sandwich see our chicken shops have that but they also have pizza
00:23:03.300
and they also have burgers it's like we have that in other places but did you get a kebab
00:23:07.140
i did not okay i did not i did see wait what what oh shawarma that's what my boyfriend technically
00:23:14.060
that's not even us yeah sorry not at all but my boyfriend said he saw he saw a video on tiktok
00:23:19.280
sorry of a girl getting a shawarma and then putting tuna and shit on it and that's disgusting i was like
00:23:23.760
what see shawarma is middle eastern but we have a lot of middle eastens yeah and that's why i was like
00:23:29.260
i was like well i knew that because y'all colonize either colonizers a what shawarma oh a shawarma no
00:23:36.220
i bet i did not have one of those shawarma kebab nothing see then i feel like i feel like you didn't
00:23:41.840
actually have it properly girl i had your colonizer food english breakfast you had you didn't have a
00:23:47.380
roast dinner i didn't you had beans but i didn't like the breakfast and i had fish and chips and i did
00:23:53.080
fuck with that fish and chips is fine yeah i told them i was like that that's good although i will say
00:23:57.680
the pub that i did go in um it was like the the upstairs is where you like ate right so we had
00:24:04.580
to go up these stairs yeah and it was two billion degrees in there i said you guys don't have air
00:24:09.440
conditioning but you have heaters okay love that yeah because love that our houses are built for
00:24:13.900
the cold yeah yeah and it wasn't even that i literally i was dripping sweat in that
00:24:19.080
yeah it was crazy maybe it's because your body temperature naturally is like hot it is it is i'm a
00:24:25.380
sweaty bitch for sure oh love that and i was like i am so tired of going to other countries and
00:24:28.920
thinking i'm gonna be cold girl i'm not it's time i accept my fate as a sweaty bitch on the internet
00:24:33.720
yeah yeah sorry you're not sorry about that but you can't tell you're sweaty unless like
00:24:39.720
you're sweaty essentially yeah science yeah i think in mostly i sweat like it i have a theory that if i
00:24:48.740
shaved my head bald i would never sweat again probably oh you think it's your hair a lot of it is a lot of
00:24:52.900
hair yeah a lot of it's in my head it's great though thank you so much i appreciate that and i
00:24:57.140
and i feel like i love i loved going to the uk i thought it was a fucking blast everybody there was
00:25:03.660
so nice really for the most part yeah they were very very nice to us um but it's so funny because
00:25:08.420
every time i go anywhere in europe with my boyfriend especially uh they think he's a famous rugby
00:25:13.260
player oh really and i'm just some bitch that's with him rugby's a big thing yeah they were like
00:25:17.740
are you on the wait a second yeah like wait a second because is your boyfriend also from
00:25:23.720
me getting nervous he's someone like me he's getting nervous no he's he's someone like me yeah
00:25:33.160
so we have i think especially with rugby especially over there polynesian um that's like their only
00:25:38.500
exposure really it's so funny to to any someone people is like literally it's rugby and when we were
00:25:43.740
in paris my boyfriend went to the gym um like which again in paris they gyms are like non-existent
00:25:52.120
really when they have them they're a hundred years old like it's the equipment is a hundred years old
00:25:57.520
and uh yeah and my what my agent my friend she was like oh yeah they don't really like work out like
00:26:04.300
that here in paris like it's kind of just walking and smoky cigarettes is like really the workout i hate
00:26:08.720
them and they were so rude in paris they were so rude bitch oh my god girl that is not a joke they
00:26:15.320
are so rude and they hate people of color they they fucking hate them well i feel like because
00:26:20.920
they hated you yeah they hated me also yeah but i'm more white passing than you are yeah and my
00:26:26.020
boyfriend and my sister and uh my cousin adam like we were all together and my agent slash friend alex
00:26:33.400
she's white so like we had her go in places first and they were nicer to her yeah because someone
00:26:40.260
told me it's not even like a it's not even a racing they just hate if you if you are a person of color
00:26:44.700
but you're not french yeah fuck out yeah get the fuck out of our country oh i'm sure it's like
00:26:49.900
i doubt it's conditional though because they were really nice to her really yeah and her last name
00:26:54.660
is french which is hilarious oh what a bitch she might as well just move when we went i was like we
00:27:00.060
got to take at least one white person we are vulnerable if we go over there with no white
00:27:04.000
people on our team oh like we're too visibly ethnic yeah we need we need at least one and then when we
00:27:09.220
went to london her and her husband came with us and he's half british oh okay so like he we we went
00:27:15.060
and they were so fucking nice to him i think because they thought he was british yeah um and they were
00:27:21.680
mean as fuck to her which is so funny does she have an american accent yeah does he have an american
00:27:25.880
accent yeah oh but he looks british like i don't know if it's just maybe vibes they were
00:27:30.580
no he's got like a he's a white guy but he has like a really big long beard and like he dresses
00:27:37.240
kind of british i don't know it's like he wears little caps shit i don't know i don't know they
00:27:43.800
were so nice to him and like to her they were like the fuck out of here and they were really nice
00:27:49.080
to us well i think that's because they thought my boyfriend was a famous rugby player probably
00:27:52.340
probably that's what it is that's probably what it is even when we got off our flight this guy this
00:27:57.320
british guy was literally like oh my god are you and he like said some name and my boyfriend was
00:28:02.280
like no and he goes you are him you are and then he was like no no i'm not no really yeah and with
00:28:09.980
the guy who picked us up too like they put he picked us up in this like kind of little mini bus
00:28:14.340
and um he was also very old and that's not me dragging him like he's he's fucking oh he was
00:28:21.040
super old like which is fine he was the nicest guy ever but um my boyfriend like kind of like
00:28:26.880
helped put all the bags in the in the car and everything and when we were he's like now i'm
00:28:31.200
gonna give you the real tour of london and we were like okay he talked the entire time we were in the
00:28:35.880
car for almost two hours he talked the entire fucking time like he was like and over here you'll
00:28:41.720
see and then he starts telling us why like it's better to drive on that side of the road because
00:28:45.920
this this and that like he was giving us a whole history lesson oh and then he turned down the
00:28:51.180
wrong street oh which i believe was a like only for pedestrians because it was like a really narrow
00:28:58.200
alley and we're in this big ass bus and he got fucking stuck and then he was like trying to do
00:29:03.480
like a huge like 20 point turn to turn around and go out yeah and he was backing up and he was like
00:29:09.480
yeah this bus is brand new like we just got it no and he's backing up and he slammed into something
00:29:14.980
he was like did you guys hear that and we were like um i just like what am i gonna tell you yeah
00:29:22.540
you crash and then the security guy that was like outside of a bar right there he goes he's like mate
00:29:26.980
you gotta get out of the fucking car and come fucking look at this and he was like what do you
00:29:31.200
mean and he was like yeah and he was like you gotta come out here and look bitch like they're you're
00:29:35.720
hitting something like over and over again it was like it was like a big like cement like thing in
00:29:42.040
the ground and he dent the car yeah the bumper was fucked up when we got out i was like all right
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for details please play responsibly also i feel like as soon as british people heard that obviously
00:30:54.040
were american um they felt the need to give me a tutorial on literally anything like anything at
00:31:00.680
all like if i walked in at where they're like come on over here i'll show you this is how you use this
00:31:04.860
and they were giving me like a step-by-step instruction because we think you're all stupid
00:31:09.560
yeah yeah i got that i was like literally when we got to our hotel everyone was so nice and
00:31:13.980
she checked us and she's like i'm gonna give you like a tour of the hotel we're like okay that's
00:31:17.820
pretty standard she gives us a tour and then she's like here's the elevators we're like are the lift
00:31:21.960
right she's like here's the lifts we're like okay she goes this is the lift you take not that one and
00:31:27.460
we were like okay got it thank you there's a sign that says two rooms so i got that she's like okay
00:31:32.460
and then you press this button to get in we're like oh okay thank you yeah then we get in and she goes
00:31:38.600
and then you use your card right here and then you press your floor number and then it will take you
00:31:43.340
there and i was like yeah god i know how elevators work but thank you love you and then it closed and i was
00:31:48.040
like i don't want one more tutorial from someone please let me be a stupid american if i can't
00:31:51.940
figure it out yeah it's okay oh i'm so sorry oh no it's all right but we do hate you all that i
00:31:56.800
think that's what it is i was gonna say i think that's maybe why people were rude to you because
00:32:00.340
we do not like uh that was pretty it's just so annoying my grandma calls you guys the yanks
00:32:07.180
the yanks yeah that's really kind of prehistoric i know a lot of people i was calling people i was
00:32:11.520
calling y'all when i was talking shit i was calling you redcoats the muffin what i was like those
00:32:15.680
those fucking redcoats are pissed off at me bitch the redcoats are coming the redcoats yeah
00:32:20.380
paul revere who's that some white guy is that to do with the civil world war yeah is this slavery
00:32:28.100
that we're talking no babe oh okay it's the revolutionary war that's when we fought y'all
00:32:33.400
for the tea boston tea party no babe that's different
00:32:35.640
no paul revere like warned everyone when the british were coming that sounds like such a like
00:32:41.860
hi my name is paul revere really and he was the british are coming yeah the british are coming
00:32:47.620
and so we're the redcoats yep that's y'all me saying you guys are dumb since we're on the topic
00:32:54.960
yeah go on like uh american samoa has a really really high obesity rate which a lot of people
00:32:59.800
talk about like they associate it with that but the reason why they have a very high obesity rate
00:33:04.060
is because they became they were colonized and became an american territory so they put in
00:33:08.480
franchise restaurants so like we used to live off the land but now american samoa is so colonized that
00:33:14.060
there's nothing but chain restaurants and it takes it's really expensive to buy groceries because
00:33:18.340
obviously they're an island and they're very far away and they have to ship it from america
00:33:22.340
so they don't live off the land nearly as much as they used to and so they just buy fast food all
00:33:27.480
the time and that's why we have a really high obesity rate because of america i'm sorry fun fact
00:33:31.940
for y'all i hate america i really do but at the same time the british the british didn't do it
00:33:37.300
technically we started it all yeah sorry yeah all roads lead back you know sorry okay so i'm gonna
00:33:44.180
read you some of these tiktoks i have to do with us starting wars with each other's countries oh but
00:33:48.980
we see look we're coming together in peace okay i thought you meant about us going to war oh no
00:33:53.780
sorry no you might be going to war yeah i won't be a part of that you say you i'm not going
00:33:58.580
you're like oh no sorry sorry can't okay so in this first video a man on a podcast is announcing
00:34:09.480
why he feels texas is the best state in america some of his reasons yeah some of his reasons are
00:34:16.300
dallas is one of the biggest airports so it's a two and a half hour flight from anywhere question mark
00:34:22.020
there are basically no rules and texas is a right to work state so you don't have to make an excuse to
00:34:28.060
fire somebody so okay but why is that a good thing also you said there's no rules yeah are you six
00:34:33.820
are you six years old i've been to texas many many times uh growing up because my dad played football
00:34:40.240
in college in texas so i used to go all the time that was my first time having sonic actually we had
00:34:45.760
sonic the hedgehog maybe maybe it's his restaurant no it's it's a drive-thru restaurant but literally you
00:34:53.680
should if you can you should go to a sonic i think you'll get a kick out of how they serve you
00:34:57.980
because you pull up and like there's like little like little stalls where you park your car yeah
00:35:03.880
and the menu's next to you yeah and you order and they bring the shit out to you on roller skates
00:35:08.440
i'm not kidding i'd push them over they skate out like with it on a tray that's like their thing
00:35:14.140
yeah that's their thing if you really want to shit your pants you should go to sonic really is it
00:35:18.520
really shit shit yeah i mean i'm like most drive-thru food here i'm sure you you've found out the hard
00:35:23.400
way it's pretty bad well i haven't i had taco bell and how was that how was the diarrhea i actually
00:35:29.980
shut myself like actually it's uh i don't know whether can we rewind yeah go ahead no can we
00:35:39.840
rewind and just forget i said that totally i actually did actually shit myself that's terrible
00:35:43.720
shat myself in a white dressing room what would you have i don't know do you remember uh i had a
00:35:50.900
beef i had a beef beef i had a beef no it was the hard one oh like a taco hard taco okay that one but
00:36:01.080
it wasn't that night it was a couple days later that i think it decided oh yeah that's why i don't
00:36:06.300
trust anything here yeah taco bell's pretty you know you got to be really low to eat taco bell here
00:36:13.220
yeah you got to be like nothing else is open and i'm fucked up and i need something to eat really
00:36:18.320
taco bell yeah that's kind of like last resort like i was fucking taco bell up when i was like in my
00:36:23.900
prime drinking age because now i'll be put into a hospital if i drink like that but like i'll literally
00:36:29.520
i'll pass away but for taco bell like that was my shit like i'd get so fucked up and i'd go back and
00:36:35.880
i'd order taco bell and i'd be like oh this is a five star michelinia like i am being served by
00:36:41.900
the greatest chefs on the planet see what is which one's better because there's del taco
00:36:45.960
and taco bell del taco i personally like more that might be a controversial thing oh really yeah but
00:36:53.220
i i fuck with del taco i haven't had and they're cheap as fuck you could go there and that concerns
00:36:57.780
you can order 60 things and it's like 25 bucks that freaks me out it's definitely not real beef
00:37:05.220
absolutely not and you know what when i go and they're like oh that's not real mexican food girl
00:37:10.160
i know that i don't give a heck you think i know that that's 16 year old white kid you think i don't
00:37:14.260
know that he's not making spanish cuisine for me i don't know that shit it's authentic i'm there
00:37:19.880
because i'm broke and i'm starving oh those are my two you know what's funny is like i had to take a
00:37:25.020
break from del taco for a while because way before i had this platform i went to coachella for the very
00:37:29.540
first time i think the year that ariana grande headlined yeah and so i went and we stated this
00:37:34.660
like really cheap hotel and next door was a taco bell like literally next door and by the time you
00:37:39.360
get back to the fucking hotel like nothing is open and you're starving and i had that to eat every
00:37:45.460
night for dinner for like three days and i was shit in my pants girl but i was starving yeah what
00:37:51.680
are you gonna do what are you gonna do and then i had to take a break for a while oh because i was
00:37:54.840
like i when was the last time you had it oh i actually the last time i had it recently was after
00:38:00.240
i went to the beyonce birthday show like the renaissance store oh yeah sure cash um i went to
00:38:06.180
that i got home at like four in the morning and i was fucking starving and that was the only thing
00:38:09.800
open so i ordered del taco and that's okay and it did hurt my stomach but hey worth it hey
00:38:13.940
delicious at the time you don't think about that you don't think about the problems no not at all
00:38:18.040
i don't eat food thinking is this gonna make me shit myself i enjoy it while it lasts yeah did you
00:38:23.980
enjoy taco bell though i did i did enjoy it but it was it wasn't like gourmet it was taco bell i know
00:38:31.040
you do a lot of videos about like hotel food and everything yeah me yeah because i feel like hotels
00:38:38.840
the amount i'm paying yeah get your shit up get your cuisine up yeah why the heck am i getting shit food
00:38:46.600
in this nice hotel yeah and it's always not nice yeah i haven't really had much i'm like trying to
00:38:53.060
think if i've ever been in a hotel where i'm like this room service is fucking awesome because
00:38:56.240
it's more so yeah it's never that nice and it's insane because i feel like especially when i do
00:39:00.880
like brand trips and they'll say oh no you're checking they'll be like oh by the way there's
00:39:05.740
a hundred pounds on the room every night but like don't feel you have to spend it like we're gonna be
00:39:09.440
going out and sorry i'm opening up that don't worry about that fucking hungry
00:39:15.440
yeah don't you worry about that girl otherwise i wouldn't get room service i'd go out but that's
00:39:21.780
i'm just spending all these brands money and it's all shit yeah get it get it while you get it while
00:39:27.900
you can yeah that's what i think you were just saying that why are there so many helicopters me
00:39:31.580
yeah that's why they're looking for people i was telling ayama they were they're literally
00:39:35.920
looking for convicts a lot of times sometimes sometimes they're like traffic like helicopters so
00:39:41.700
they're just showing yeah the 404 is kind of backed up here tom you know what's funny is that
00:39:47.760
skit the californians off snl have you ever seen it no you should okay if you look it up you'll know
00:39:53.660
now that you're in la for a while now is it the people doing the news no it's the people they're
00:39:57.980
literally they're from california but they're just constantly talking about all the freeways they're
00:40:03.140
taking oh and like they say it in like a surfer guy kind of tone they're like i'll take the 101 to
00:40:08.920
the 405 to the 55 and i'll meet you there because that's how we talk like literally we're like
00:40:14.100
yeah i feel like when i did the rain thing everyone was like haha well when you're fucking turned over
00:40:19.260
on the 404 they're probably saying the 405 is a main highway that comes into la i don't fucking know
00:40:27.620
you know what's funny is my my agent she's uh canadian so she like i've told her before i'm like
00:40:33.140
do you want to um like drive like if you want you can take my car because sometimes she'll stay with
00:40:37.480
me and she's like no i'm too fucking scared to drive here like you guys can't drive it's actually
00:40:42.000
so many people have literally tried to merge into my car oh yeah and i'm in a big fuck off car
00:40:47.020
yeah fuck you i'll crush you you can drive manual and yeah period girl i can't drive i can drive step
00:40:53.780
yeah i can't drive a stick oh really you just learn automatic yeah that's how everyone here learns
00:40:58.560
unless you choose to learn stick you don't have to well i feel like all of our cars mainly are
00:41:02.560
manufactured yeah manual yeah mainly that's cool though i feel like if you could drive stick you
00:41:06.720
drive anything yeah i feel like like real badass you know what i mean yeah my friend taught me how
00:41:13.260
to drive sick in college and i was doing it um but then i was like why would i do this when i could
00:41:18.020
just it's true why would you why would you make your life why would i choose to do that when i could
00:41:21.440
just not it's really silly and then that's where i'm stupid because every other country in the world
00:41:25.740
is manual stick but you still can if you're hiring a car unless you get like deserted in the middle of
00:41:31.300
the country and someone's like fuck we only have this one car yeah that's manual that's true or you
00:41:36.700
die quick who knows how to drive a stick yeah that's why i i don't know how to do that you do i'll drive
00:41:43.040
your stick hey are you single i am newly oh rep yeah it's okay you're better off quiet on set
00:41:55.800
no i am as long as you're happy that's all that matters i'm so happy you're better off i guarantee
00:42:02.220
it apparently that's what people say but do i feel better no no i do i do okay publicly you do
00:42:10.760
public no i do okay that's good i've only cried myself to sleep about out of the whole time that
00:42:15.860
we've been broken up maybe like five times which is like that's not bad over a three month space
00:42:21.200
that's pretty okay there you go so i'm okay good i'm glad so if you're interested she is single you
00:42:27.620
have to be over six foot two yeah you have to have a fat cock you have to be a lot of money if you
00:42:34.700
don't then do not speak to me and forget it you can't be insecure you cannot hate women you cannot
00:42:41.080
be a homophobe a transphobe yeah what else i think that's you can't wear skinny jeans there you go
00:42:47.640
i think that's a pretty easy i'd say that's okay yeah that's real baseline i think i don't care what
00:42:52.960
race you are there you go period as long as you meet those requirements yeah there you go then
00:42:59.420
that's fine okay so i'm gonna read some of the comments on this video about why texas is the
00:43:04.840
best it's not even though i have a lot of friends from texas and i and beyonce's from texas baby yeah
00:43:09.920
beyonce's from texas meg the stallion's from texas i love megan the stallion me too i would
00:43:13.860
actually disintegrate for her i would too if she said become a powder and say bet when and where
00:43:21.480
babe yeah right here on the floor okay some of these comments on here this one says hush keep
00:43:26.420
our state a secret please we don't need a bunch of pansies coming in what you a hundred years old
00:43:33.400
why do people why why and then what is what is it don't be a nancy yeah nancy get a grip
00:43:39.300
a pansy i feel like they say that shit because the next comment says don't forget our guns like
00:43:46.000
they're an open they're an open carry state so like sorry open carry means you can have a gun in
00:43:51.720
most public spaces like visibly and you could literally just have it and just walk around
00:43:56.760
what yeah they're an open carry state that's why they say that they're like we're so badass come and
00:44:02.400
take because you have guns yeah and you're allowed to like wield them openly i guess i'm so it actually
00:44:07.840
like we're in olden times it freaks me out i think even like seeing your police even i think they
00:44:12.500
have them in canada as well seeing your police have guns but that when i saw that i was like
00:44:16.360
so i'm gonna die it was really because we don't like guns are our last resort we'll taser you
00:44:25.240
we'll hit you with your baton i fucking wish that was the case here it's not it's so insane there
00:44:31.020
was one like guy that was like yielding and yielding wielding wielding wielding yeah
00:44:35.480
wielding an axe like in public space trying to kill people he didn't so like in in the uk in the
00:44:43.160
uk and he was running around this like road trying to kill people and the police like there was this
00:44:47.680
video footage of the police trying to stop him with an axe and they're like hey hey hey guys come on
00:44:53.540
take it down a notch but no guns that's crazy it freaks me the piss out so free free gun state you
00:45:00.100
said free gun open carry piss off why i fuck if i know in case you fucking redcoats come back over
00:45:08.220
here fucking gunslingers that's insane yeah i don't know what the fuck it's it's it's the most
00:45:13.680
like are you allowed guns in this state it's not an open carry state no which means you cannot have
00:45:19.000
guns in any public space so you have to have it locked up yeah essentially and you have to have a
00:45:23.040
permit and all that stuff like there's like you don't need a permit for texas uh no i think you
00:45:27.720
do oh i actually don't know i'm assuming you do but like i have no clue don't assume it's just way
00:45:33.580
more it's just way more like open and common to have good like you'll be like you could be shopping
00:45:38.540
in the grocery store and someone in front of you could have like a gun in a holster like in front of
00:45:42.580
you and then it's they're allowed to do that but you can't do that here the gun laws are actually
00:45:46.380
pretty strict in california oh yeah more strict than most states which is not saying much but yeah
00:45:51.460
bummer bummer now i'm depressed thank you this last one says just a reminder to all moving here
00:45:59.420
from california respect the state and culture if you ain't red don't bring your ass here okay
00:46:06.020
well that could mean a hold on to such things okay so i don't know if you know this but just
00:46:10.960
in case you don't like that racist well yeah oh obviously but they're a red state so a red state
00:46:17.060
and a blue state are like the two blue states are more democratic yeah blue states are public
00:46:22.020
republican oh republican and our red states blue states are democratic so like which one's a good
00:46:28.400
one blue that's the elephant yes yeah right it's the blue no wait no i'm wrong one's a donkey
00:46:37.400
one's an elephant which is yeah donkey donkey is blue elephant is red we shouldn't be the donkey
00:46:42.360
by me saying we they shouldn't be they're the good one they should not be the donkey yeah it's like
00:46:47.440
and it's all very subjective because there are a lot of bad things on both sides if we're being
00:46:51.480
on but like blue is more liberal so like liberal progressive okay red is more conservative so they're
00:46:56.620
a red state they always vote duh because they fucking love guns and they're very racist so
00:47:01.380
see the thing is that that that comment where it's like don't come over wait yeah hold on no
00:47:07.400
don't come i fuck it i wouldn't i wouldn't come i wouldn't not go to texas unless it's against my
00:47:14.920
will unless i really have to go i don't plan on going there for real sorry and i know the little
00:47:20.120
lady here that's from texas i'm sorry it's all right if they're if they're a good person i know a lot
00:47:27.380
of good people from texas they know there's a lot of fucking problems with that state like why are you
00:47:31.180
racist just why girl why no why what's going on why no jenny this isn't like you no no but if you
00:47:39.180
can actually tell me why yeah they can't they really don't have an answer for that because shut up
00:47:45.000
yeah they came from your island that's your fault i'm sorry that's fact well honestly if it's coming
00:47:52.180
from a red state a lot of times it is the craziest headline you've ever seen and it could be that it is
00:47:56.400
like so far past the truth it's not even funny and they like don't know anymore like red state people
00:48:01.480
who are like super racist and awful they're like did you guys know that they're fucking cloning people
00:48:07.400
and they're sending them over like they'll say the craziest shit you've ever heard and you're like
00:48:12.220
where did you read that where and then they're like show me the article then they're like facebook
00:48:15.620
and i'm like okay well there you go right okay well there you go go fuck yourself so okay this next
00:48:21.400
video um this is a black woman she's speaking on some of her personal experiences of racism in
00:48:28.020
florida and one example she talks about how it's known to be such a friendly state but most of the
00:48:32.040
time when she's at grocery stores the employees don't smile or say hello to her but then they go
00:48:35.960
out of their way to make conversations and be friendly with other customers right and then this
00:48:39.960
first comment says please share this so people will move out of state so housing can be cheaper
00:48:44.560
yikers okay housing is ridiculously cheap in florida compared to most states especially california
00:48:50.800
it's like california new york are the most expensive states because that's where everyone
00:48:54.380
wants to live you know when people are like in in fucking texas you could get a seven bedroom house
00:49:00.040
for that much money and i'm like yeah because you're stuck in texas yeah like yeah then i have
00:49:03.940
to live amongst races no thanks yeah no thanks i'll pass no thank you thank you though i'm good thank
00:49:08.200
you thank you so much but as if they're saying yeah keep telling everyone that we're racist so that
00:49:12.840
all of you guys leave they're like yeah exactly tell them that get out then how about you leave it says
00:49:20.140
that's not racism they just have nothing to say to you try starting a conversation with them first
00:49:25.520
why didn't i think of that yeah like god what why don't i just talk to racists yeah maybe i should
00:49:31.380
try that's like when they tell me literally their fucking heads literally they're like oh so you're
00:49:38.160
black yeah that's literally them yeah every single time it's so funny too because even here like but
00:49:43.540
anywhere really every time i fly somewhere for work um sometimes like because i whatever if i fly
00:49:49.800
first ah whatever and fly first fly first class fly fucking first girl come on sorry but anyways
00:49:56.780
economy when i do do it i uh every this is not a joke every single fucking time someone stops us and
00:50:03.900
goes this is for first every time that's not a joke every time when i left the uk bitch when i left the
00:50:10.860
uk we uh went to every like went through all the tsa shit whatever went to our gate when we get to
00:50:17.500
the gate my boyfriend goes first and then they're like oh it's for first and he goes i can read yeah
00:50:22.480
he's like i know i can see the i can see on the screen it says first it's fine and he's like no i know
00:50:27.820
i have that they're like oh okay and they scan it i know they scan it and then they're like can you
00:50:33.960
step to the side and then my boyfriend's like oh and he thinks he has to wait yeah random so random
00:50:38.980
and then he goes and he's like oh i think they want to check because we bought like some souvenirs
00:50:43.260
and stuff and he's like oh i think they want to check these bags the guy goes no i don't want to
00:50:46.520
see those i want to put those down and take your shoes off i want to look in your backpack and then
00:50:50.480
my boyfriend was like for what and he's like oh it's just a random check oh i fucking bet it is
00:50:56.400
bitch i'm sure i bet it's so random like eight white dudes walked in front of us but yeah i'm sure
00:51:00.140
you want to randomly check them oh i'm sure it's so fucking random and it's always my my boyfriend or me
00:51:05.080
like every time so we go and then i'm like and i'm standing over there with him because i think
00:51:10.360
that i have to go too because i didn't hear the conversation and they're like oh ma'am you don't
00:51:14.420
have to go over there like come over here and i was like well what's he doing yeah and they're like
00:51:18.900
oh it's a random check them with a glove yeah they're like and i was like oh random it's super
00:51:26.300
random i bet so i know i used to when it's so bad i used to fly with my sister my sister's hijabi
00:51:31.320
every time we flew she just she just got in the line for the random check let me save you all some
00:51:38.840
time it's because i know what you're thinking it's fucking terrible like what like what at this point
00:51:43.620
like what are we talking about what are we talking about and i was like i i was so i was so annoyed i
00:51:49.280
was like why are you guys doing i said hey what's the fucking point of tsa hey what's the point if you
00:51:54.500
if you snuck a bomb past this point yeah like what are the odds yeah you know what i mean like i was
00:51:59.240
like okay and then they they literally looked through every single thing in that backpack he
00:52:04.060
was standing there for a minute and he was so like it's humiliating too they make you do it in
00:52:08.420
front of everyone like and i was like dude this is fucking bullshit and i was telling him too i was
00:52:12.700
like this is bullshit that you guys do this like what's is your tsa that fucking shit that you guys
00:52:17.080
have to check randomly check again but you only checked him and then we're walking on and he's like
00:52:21.600
hey don't be afraid to randomly check white people too yeah because we were the only uh people of
00:52:26.560
color and of course first yeah so that's why i was like of course the only people of color in first
00:52:30.400
so i was like nice nice nice nice love that love that yeah i'm sure you deal with that shit too
00:52:37.840
well when i was flying here i didn't i didn't fly first i flew business but it's all right though no
00:52:42.480
no it's fine don't worry um and they basically when i was queuing up to go to business and here's
00:52:47.300
the thing i have a because the um what's it called the airline i flew with i have a membership with
00:52:54.600
them because i love them they're called british airways hi um and i have like a a very high
00:53:03.440
tier with that membership yeah and i was queuing up to go into the the line for uh business because
00:53:09.940
they obviously do first and business first yeah and the woman was like oh no no um we're not doing
00:53:14.820
economy yet and i was like yeah yeah well that's that's nice do i look poor to you yeah no um you just
00:53:23.600
don't look white yeah but the thing is it's just it's you don't really you kind of go through a
00:53:29.620
life like i'll be fine and then things happen you're like yeah yeah one time we flew uh i was
00:53:35.640
going to new york and this lady she was like oh we're boarding because i think at the time i was
00:53:40.780
flying jet blue and they call their first like mint or something so she's like oh we're doing mint
00:53:45.480
and then uh to me and my boyfriend and we're like i know and we scanned our passes and she's like
00:53:50.040
we're doing mint like started talking louder and i was like i heard you and then she goes can i see
00:53:55.200
her passes like to me and him and then we showed them and she goes oh you guys are mint oh that's
00:54:01.080
crazy i was like yeah i can fucking read i don't know who she is i don't know who she is i hope she
00:54:08.500
went home she tripped she fell in a puddle had a terrible night terrible evening she ate some food
00:54:13.080
it gave her food poisoning she was bedridden for days girl i don't know who you are but fuck you
00:54:17.840
it pisses me off it's so funny too because i'm like i i feel like you think like past like racism
00:54:25.280
right like i can fucking read right so i i can i can read and i can see young like it's not like
00:54:31.840
old and senile where it's like okay maybe you did get a bit discery and lost you're young like i know
00:54:38.640
how the world works in fact i'm building it for you so why don't you fuck no thanks to you yeah
00:54:43.500
shit so fuck off yeah when i bought out i was at the department store a department store the other
00:54:48.300
day and i was buying a dress and it was for an event so it was like kind of expensive which whatever
00:54:52.960
but like i was buying it and the lady goes oh like is it for a special occasion i'm like yeah it's
00:54:57.120
just like for work and then she goes okay and she goes you saw the price tag right and i was like
00:55:02.660
if you don't get the fuck out i was like yeah i did yeah um yeah i did i see it when i tried it
00:55:08.280
on in the dressing room yeah i did and then she was like oh okay and she's ringing it up and she
00:55:12.300
goes uh for work huh and i go yep because i'm not talking about what the fuck i'm doing and she's
00:55:17.500
old as shit so i'm like i'm not trying to have me get away yeah and it was uh for uh something for
00:55:22.720
the grammys so i like didn't want to talk about what it was for i was just like it's for work like
00:55:26.880
it's not a big deal and she goes okay work right and i go yeah i said it three times and then the last
00:55:32.660
time she goes what do you do for work and i go oh all kinds of stuff and then she was like
00:55:37.800
okay and i go all right cool thank you get on my face got my bag and i left and my boyfriend was
00:55:43.140
laughing he goes that was so awkward like the girl's like she was like poking and prodding
00:55:48.240
because she wanted to know like because i look too young and i'm not white so she's like how can
00:55:53.020
you afford how many drugs have you brought into this country is that what you're doing
00:55:56.300
i'm like in my hand or up my ass but different numbers do people not feel like do they not feel
00:56:02.780
the awkwardness and then try and be just like nice it's horrible it doesn't make sense i do
00:56:08.460
not understand that you're making it awkward like can you not can you not sense that and then say
00:56:12.760
anyway let's pivot and change that yeah well if you're thinking it keep it in here yeah i don't
00:56:18.640
need to hear it yeah that's okay because i don't care because how about you wait if you really believe
00:56:23.260
i can't afford it how about you wait until i use my card and it gets declined and then you can
00:56:28.160
kiki at that moment yeah then you can laugh wait privately it's not like you have a lot of time
00:56:31.960
on your hands right now look after me girl i was like all right well when i was in paris i literally
00:56:37.860
uh we we planned like we made reservations at a restaurant and we were like it said it was like
00:56:43.160
upscale attire so they were like we dressed nice and we went we and it was not too far from where we
00:56:48.060
were staying so we just walked there and when we walked up there was like a bunch of bouncers which
00:56:52.860
first of all what the fuck is their security doing outside of a restaurant like what the fuck is going on
00:56:57.020
in there and so then we go up and we send alex because she's white and we're like you go tell
00:57:02.440
them and she goes and she's like oh i have a reservation and they're like you have a reservation
00:57:06.400
she's like yeah what time and then she tells them and she has her name and we're like 20 minutes early
00:57:12.200
and they said to be 20 minutes early and then they're talking amongst themselves someone goes inside
00:57:18.640
someone comes out and then they come and talk to us and they're like yeah so like there's no
00:57:24.040
reservations available and we were like even though we made one and then he goes yeah i just like i
00:57:32.560
don't know where you guys made it we're like on your website yeah on the website that is connected it's
00:57:38.560
like connected to your website yeah he's like yeah no they like didn't even have a good like fake
00:57:44.220
excuse like they were the white girl yeah well once she once she came and stood with us they were
00:57:50.040
like okay yeah and then like they were like we're full we're busy and i'm like okay and then we turn
00:57:59.360
and we saw like a group of like 10 white girls walk right in oh of course no reservation no nothing
00:58:04.080
and i was like oh okay so i took a picture of it and i was like hey fuck this restaurant by the way
00:58:09.920
it's called mama mia paris fuck them and i literally posted i'm like hey fuck this fucking
00:58:13.900
restaurant they're fucking racist like i posted it everywhere yeah and then they blocked me
00:58:18.200
because people were commenting on their thing they're like i didn't know you they're like oh
00:58:23.420
food was okay but the racism was really bad like they were writing shit like that like yelp reviews on
00:58:28.000
their fucking instagram good i love that i got blocked by them so you are racist is what i'm saying
00:58:32.600
so you guys okay yeah for sure but really quick i do want to ask you a question about your
00:58:38.400
content oh my god oh my god hard pivot oh my god but it's about your content okay so your reaction
00:58:42.760
videos were one of some of the first ones i ever saw about you how'd you get into those i'm so
00:58:47.280
curious i don't know well those and when you're singing when someone's hot that was the first one
00:58:53.140
i did i did one which was for basically do you know talk to who yeah sorry i keep i never watched it
00:58:58.760
but i am familiar okay and i know that guy is also no the other one he's also in house of dragon
00:59:05.880
what's his name oh him matt something the white guy and the uncle in house of dragon matt smith
00:59:12.640
matt smith that's right that's my sorry just literally came to me
00:59:16.200
yeah no him him he was a doctor who right he was a doctor who but got it there's so like because
00:59:25.340
doctor who's like our show that's y'all's show yeah that's that's our fucking show so when i grew
00:59:34.060
up doctor who you have like your own like people because it's been going for years yeah people have
00:59:38.680
their doctor yeah like their favorite one yeah so mine is david tennant he's an actor called david
00:59:42.960
tennant i would literally if it were raining and there were a puddle i would lay myself on the puddle
00:59:47.960
so he could walk over me that's how much i love him that's on period uh so yeah he um i did a sing
00:59:54.120
if you find attractive and he was one of the people that came up in this so i was that's when i scream
00:59:58.980
and then people clipped that yeah so and then so you posted that and people just adore me
01:00:06.360
i guess like i've charmed everyone they finally recognized i'm amazing
01:00:12.360
but yeah and then and then from then did like just reaction videos to like food to that guy that
01:00:20.000
chops wood oh yeah and that's just i guess become my thing but period people like my reaction because
01:00:25.420
i don't understand i feel like it's just like i'm just you're just not charming i'm just
01:00:29.820
wait i do have another question the great british baking show yeah that's my favorite show of all
01:00:37.080
time really i fuck so heavy with that show it's really it's crazy what i would do to get on that show
01:00:41.760
bitch if you're ever watching they have they have a celebrity one i know i've seen it stand up for
01:00:45.880
cancer i saw it i saw jade thurwall on there i saw liza koshy on there really ksi on there piss off
01:00:53.880
liza koshy was on yeah on the celebrity one i saw it but she's not even from here i know girl that's
01:00:59.840
what i said send me over there bitch i know i talk shit y'all this is what i will say although i
01:01:04.840
talk shit on your food your pastries are out of this world fantastic pastries out of this world
01:01:08.980
victoria sponge have you had a victoria sponge i did not have that but i did have a couple like
01:01:12.900
pastries and like croissants like that's not us whatever the fuck i had it i had it there and it
01:01:19.220
was delicious yeah it was very good yeah y'all are murdering pastries keep it up thank you yeah
01:01:24.140
we're good with our dough yeah you're good i was like why people one thing white people can do is
01:01:28.740
bake yeah we can bake you can bake bitch that's the thing i feel like your ass off yeah no bake off i
01:01:33.080
could never go on because i can't bake me either no that's why i said bring me on um i'm as a
01:01:38.380
contestant um like with the normal people uh i'm gonna go out week one easily but i will tell jokes
01:01:44.000
the whole time i'm gonna do comedic relief yeah i'm gonna do everyone needs that bits the whole
01:01:47.260
time and then they're gonna be so charming me they hire me as a third host yes that's my evil plan
01:01:52.360
no that would be great i feel like you and no fielding oh period i don't know if he still does
01:01:56.160
it does he still do it yeah he does i fucking love him me too and him would just yeah oh i love
01:02:01.560
i feel like with them the my favorite part about that is that everyone is so nice to each other on
01:02:08.000
that show cooking shows in america bitch they're like i'll kill you with a gun they are so aggressive
01:02:13.780
on them here like what's in the contestants yeah like they and the judges are so cutthroat too like
01:02:18.880
really they're mean as fuck to each other here oh no but like they're it's all good vibes and
01:02:24.240
they're all competing for a fucking cake because we're baking fucking cake sorry could you imagine us
01:02:29.480
being cunts while we're baking cakes like oh i'm about to put this fucking victoria sponge in the
01:02:33.360
oven but fuck you all and the prize the prize is literally that fucking cake stand and that's it
01:02:39.140
yeah that is so funny and also just the knowledge that you've won oh yeah the friends you made along
01:02:43.720
the way yeah that's the best part well there's one woman that won she's she's a hijabi i've forgotten
01:02:48.440
her name i know her and she's a big fuck off fuck off now she's huge really like like as a as a
01:02:55.920
successfully successfully she has really made it i love that season too i am obsessed with that show
01:03:01.920
every time the new season comes out i'm like tuned in bitch do you have master chef yeah we have
01:03:07.200
master chef and we have master chef junior too which is the children the kids that one guy that's like
01:03:12.300
yeah there is one where they like they're like okay you're on two separate sides of the kitchen
01:03:20.760
and then it's like each side has an obstacle so like one their their oven is across the way and
01:03:26.860
they can't cross the line to go cook so it's literally like american ninja warrior and cooking
01:03:31.540
which i find to be insane why would you do that entertainment i guess it's like how can we make
01:03:36.920
this more insane yeah like one was like they were outside at like and there was like a campfire
01:03:42.200
and it was like literally the only oven they had was a campfire and like a little griddle thing
01:03:48.000
cutthroat kitchen that's what it's called cutthroat kitchen well it's in the name and the guy like
01:03:52.540
he had a really long rod and that was the only way that he could cook his food like he had to go
01:03:57.300
and like put it over and then he was like like trying to cook it from fucking 100 yards away no i
01:04:02.240
wouldn't i just wouldn't go on sorry if i was like a proper cook chef yeah and they said welcome to set
01:04:09.140
you today you're going to be cooking but you're on in an igloo yeah but there are live alligators
01:04:14.780
good luck yeah enjoy i'd say goodbye like have you seen um have you watched chopped no oh i don't
01:04:22.120
really watch cooking things if you look at chopped versus great british bake off it's insane like
01:04:26.080
chopped well they cook savory foods but they do an appetizer a main and a dessert and each round
01:04:31.600
someone gets chopped so it's like you end up you start with four end up with two but they give you a
01:04:36.080
basket and it's like four fuck-ass ingredients and they're like make something bitch and you have
01:04:41.380
30 minutes and they're literally like time yeah and they're literally and they're trying to cook
01:04:46.860
everything like make something girl see that would be you know it's so like not do cook i don't cook
01:04:51.360
me i don't cook and i don't watch cooking shows really yeah to be honest mine is only the great
01:04:55.980
british bake off i don't think that counts because it's yeah no well i love it do you watch is it cake
01:04:59.860
i have never watched it but i do know what it is it's it's just you get to like the fourth episode
01:05:06.540
and you're like yeah it's cake yeah it's not much longevity in that show like is it cake i'm glad
01:05:15.700
you don't cook either neither do i my man does cook i don't oh i mean i can but i just you can
01:05:22.260
you just don't do you do that like actively you refuse to cook no it's more so like why would i
01:05:27.300
if my man prefers to do it true yeah if he prefers like why would you yeah he's like no i don't i don't
01:05:31.380
want you in here like it's gonna stress me out i'm like oh bummer i'll go sit on the couch oh
01:05:35.740
tell me when it's ready call me when it's ready literally oh see but at the same time people will
01:05:40.640
see that and be like but you're a woman yeah why a woman who doesn't cook and you can eat that you
01:05:45.460
better go to hell go straight to hell your man cooks for you yeah burn burning hell is what they
01:05:51.240
say he loves cooking no i like that period i do actually want you to go to hell and he's 6'4
01:05:57.360
love that for me oh i actually fucking hate me i just said i just said i'm going through a breakup
01:06:02.060
do you want to just kill me that'd be really nice okay it's all right i'll manifest someone for you
01:06:09.140
please someone who does that 6'4 well yeah i'd like him strong well i don't mind if he doesn't
01:06:15.060
i if he can cook no i want him to cook yeah what the fuck is wrong with you why don't you
01:06:19.760
you don't have basic life skills yeah what the hell yeah i'm getting really sick and tired
01:06:24.760
of like someone was what was it there was this one video sorry i'm really going off a tangent
01:06:29.660
because i'm getting really sick and tired of men just getting absolutely the benefit of the doubt
01:06:32.960
it just really fucking pisses me off you're telling me but there was one video of a guy and he was like
01:06:36.920
it was like him cleaning a kitchen and like cleaning his house and he's like
01:06:40.140
one thing my wife will never be is a single married mother basically to say like i also help in the
01:06:45.340
house oh my god well fucking done i'm getting rid and all the comments are like oh give him the key
01:06:50.420
to the city he deserves it girl what girl are we deranged girl the way i've talked shit on that too
01:06:56.160
i'm like i i literally on my episode with brett newstrom we were joking about it because i'm like men
01:07:00.500
would be like i don't hate your fucking muffin top and then women are like protect this one girl
01:07:07.600
fuck him and his mom like that's just not real what do you mean no what do you mean it really it
01:07:14.640
really pisses me off a million likes yeah and it's like oh god he's such a real boy your wife's so
01:07:19.060
lucky is she i don't believe it because you wash the fuck up what it really oh anyway well when they
01:07:25.660
do basic human life skills and then they're like wow what it's insane but that's also sad too because
01:07:34.320
it's like a testament to how rare that is that women find that and revere it which is a fucking bummer
01:07:39.520
but like it's not their fault they feel that way but it is our responsibility to diagnose it
01:07:45.320
say well done that's not that's like bare minimum shit bitch like he remembered your birthday yeah he
01:07:50.700
fucking should you've been dating for 10 years and you're still not married which is totally fine if
01:07:54.860
that's what you want if that's what you want but if it's not and he's saying oh i just don't believe
01:07:58.780
in marriage because shut the fuck up get out of my face get out i'm like congrats um tell that to
01:08:04.340
the next bitch bye yeah you know what i mean like that's why i'm like it makes me so sad for women
01:08:08.620
i know it's all right good thing they have us so charming and beautiful yeah i am charming and
01:08:14.180
beautiful okay to round out this episode yes i'll ask you what is your best piece of advice for
01:08:22.040
americans when they're going over to the uk and then on the flip side brits when they're coming
01:08:28.400
over here any advice sorry my stomach's rumbling i'm gonna think about this one because i really
01:08:32.980
want it to be a serious one me going back onto drugs no no i do want it to be okay americans going over
01:08:40.140
to the uk practice practice hiding your accent yeah because immediately we hate you yeah and i'm sorry
01:08:49.440
it doesn't matter what you look like yeah we hate you yeah practice doing a british accent
01:08:56.420
practice but like a good not like an american british not like dick van dyke
01:09:01.080
every time i see british people they're like what's the worst british accent you've ever seen
01:09:05.100
portrayed in film and they're like every single one of them said dick van dyke well his isn't the
01:09:08.920
worst i think you know peter dinklage in game of thrones he's fucking shit
01:09:13.240
but i love him i love him i love him down yeah but no that was shit yeah um but there's nothing
01:09:21.280
worse than a bad british accent just like there's nothing worse than a bad anyone trying to do an
01:09:25.260
accent that's not their own and you're like what the fuck was that get i was gonna say do you hate
01:09:30.340
that when americans like they're like wait a second and they start talking to you in a british accent
01:09:34.700
what in in a british yeah like like when you just tried to do it when i first came
01:09:38.760
well when you sat down and we opened the show and i did that yeah that was specifically because i know
01:09:45.540
you hate it yeah okay fine yeah okay so just making me feel comfortable oh it's just a silly
01:09:49.720
bitty move yeah that's fine yeah no i i hate it um no don't suppress your accent just don't expect
01:09:56.540
things to be big yeah yeah most our penises our food size our food size our people food size it's
01:10:04.000
huge it is fuck me it is big fuck me period honestly also anyway no okay that's that's what i would say
01:10:12.060
for going to the uk other than that for brits coming here brits coming here any advice
01:10:19.980
don't yeah i don't think there's any good advice you're gonna have to live through it
01:10:30.080
it's a canon event you gotta experience it you have to experience coming here when you go shopping
01:10:36.300
expect to be harassed yeah you guys just don't leave us the fuck alone yeah why don't why why
01:10:41.680
they're obsessed with an accent why even you don't even have to speak and it's like hey how are you
01:10:47.320
can i help you out today no you can't that is so real leave me the fuck alone i went in one tesco
01:10:53.480
when i was in the uk tesco yeah i went i went in one i just won and the way that that cashier
01:11:00.780
he won't even look at you he wouldn't have cared if i died in front of him like he did not give a
01:11:05.380
fuck about me and i love that like i walked up and he was literally like what i was like bitch i'm
01:11:10.960
trying to buy something shit i'm like like i walked into his home yeah but i but i fuck with it
01:11:15.660
like someone who leaves me alone leave me alone yeah it's pretty bad but it's like when it's like
01:11:19.560
because you'll when i walk in i'm like oh i'm just looking thank you and they're like great no
01:11:23.560
worries can i get you um anything and then you're looking at clothes and you're like can i open up
01:11:28.700
can i set up a fitting room for you yeah no you fucking can't i don't want to fucking try this
01:11:32.580
it really annoys me it sends me into like an absolute rage that i just want to like
01:11:37.200
away from me this cock back but i won't it's okay though but that's that's what i would say
01:11:42.840
prepare to be harassed prepare to be hated don't comment on the weather just don't fucking do it
01:11:49.240
yeah um for the best it's for the best yeah um just be british also just try and suppress your
01:11:56.880
colonialism there you go because recognize it yeah because i think as well the reason we hate you guys
01:12:02.720
yeah is also because we naturally just hate anyone that isn't british yeah but like in a polite way
01:12:09.380
not in a french way yeah but yeah the polite way of british people being rude is crazy it is so funny
01:12:16.080
to me like when they're being rude or they're trying to be rude or trying to insult you yeah and
01:12:20.040
it's so like it just sounds like a riddle to me yeah like i'm like you're crazy a lot of our um
01:12:25.900
like speech language is shakespearean yeah so like it sure is girl like i'd call you like a dirty wash
01:12:32.520
cloth and that would be like it you mongoose and that's it that's that's that's an insult we don't
01:12:38.520
read that's the thing i don't feel like we're good at reading people yeah absolutely that's an
01:12:43.180
american thing we're awful we are terrible i find it hilarious the way that you guys insult people
01:12:48.260
i find that so funny it is so polite so like proper are you fucking kidding me that's are you
01:12:54.320
kidding me right now that's why when i hear when i hear british people will cuss and shit yeah and
01:12:57.740
they really be going in i'm like that's our period bitch because i feel like i'm watching like a dog
01:13:01.760
walk on its hind legs scary like if you go out in the uk and you go like and see men drunk and
01:13:08.280
they're about to fight yeah and they're like oh are you fucking having me on when you look at it
01:13:12.480
you're like oh it's embarrassing yeah that's right everyone when love island became a big thing
01:13:16.660
yeah oh and they're like uh what do they say are you mugged me off yeah he's mugged me right off
01:13:22.500
he's mugged am i a mug yeah but the thing is but at the same time don't let that be a
01:13:26.780
representation because i feel like everyone that goes into love island is a pussy
01:13:29.640
how are you not fighting that's so funny not that yeah i saw your i saw your video this morning
01:13:36.500
how is someone snogging your man oh girl how is someone kissing your your person that you're
01:13:42.600
paired with how are you in an argument with someone and you haven't said do you want to
01:13:46.100
fucking fight i'm in i'm i'm in there and i'm causing drama 1000 like i'm not i'm not getting
01:13:50.740
coupled up i'll probably go out first i'm causing i'm starting fires everywhere they'll keep you in
01:13:55.240
just for that there you go i'm starting fires everywhere i'm making alliances it makes no
01:13:59.460
sense to me and also god forbid i'm ever stood up in a line waiting for a man to say yeah i want to
01:14:05.020
couple up with her wait praying that i get picked by a man don't do that to me don't ever don't put
01:14:12.160
me in that position okay this part of this part of the filming we're gonna have you all in a line
01:14:15.780
and they're gonna come and walk through and say who they find the most attractive i'd like to go
01:14:19.740
home please i'd like to go home oh no no thank you actually cut that also i watched the usa version
01:14:25.780
of love love island i like the british one better yes you know what i fuck so heavy with on that show
01:14:31.820
is that they're so fucking honest like they're literally like i i was fucking with you heavy
01:14:37.820
um but he came in and he's way hotter than you so i'm out yeah um peace and love though good luck
01:14:42.700
to you hope you don't go home they are really strong heavy with that someone said they really have
01:14:46.540
warrior mentality i don't know how you can live through that they're stronger than us they
01:14:50.280
should be drafted dude imagine it's just all love island people that'd be crazy that would be insane
01:14:58.080
we'd lose but i feel like we'd lose every war okay so we talked about all kinds of shit everything
01:15:04.400
all kinds everything uh and you obviously because you're so funny and we fucking talked about all
01:15:10.440
kinds of funny shit but i love you as a content creator i think you're amazing
01:15:14.040
ayame also does stand-up by the way no i fucking don't yes you do i refuse actually
01:15:19.500
no your live shows that you were doing yeah i think you're doing is that we're doing past tense
01:15:27.140
thank you but i think you're hilarious thank you and i think that you're so talented and i think
01:15:33.340
everyone should follow ayame where can everybody find you well
01:15:37.840
my name is ayame and i am on tiktok and instagram this is like really like i'm like
01:15:45.220
i'm on tiktok and instagram they'll put it below you too oh well you can follow me right here
01:15:49.740
ayame.p it's japanese but i'm not japanese anyway colonialism um period that's me
01:15:57.740
and you have a podcast i do it's called any i may be trust that's why i find it like
01:16:03.860
sitting here i'm like fucking hell just end the podcast because it's literally i did a podcast
01:16:10.440
episode the other day and i was in my bed in my bed turned on my camera and i was like hi guys
01:16:17.140
yeah that's my sorry any i may be trust yes absolutely make sure y'all follow ayame on
01:16:24.100
literally everything and go listen to her podcast i watch your clips all the time it's a waste of time
01:16:28.940
yeah i could listen to you talk forever stop yeah should we kiss after i'm gonna i'm gonna line
01:16:39.800
you up and then i'm gonna let you know if i pick you and couple up with oh yeah as you should that's
01:16:43.900
the finale as you should yeah where's the line hub i mean all right thank you so much for joining us on
01:16:50.580
this episode of the comment section show thank you to my amazing guest ayame remember to go follow
01:16:55.100
her on everything listen to her podcast she's hilarious as i'm sure you guys already fucking
01:16:59.220
know and thank you all so much for tuning in to this very special episode remember all comment
01:17:04.760
section episodes are available every wednesday you can stream the audio on all streaming platforms
01:17:09.240
or you can watch the video for free exclusively on spotify stop fucking asking me where the video
01:17:14.420
lives please i'm begging you tell your friends it's only on spotify it's nowhere else it's only
01:17:20.100
on spotify that's the third time i said it please hear me okay i love you all so much thank you so
01:17:24.720
much to ayame thank you to all of you and i'll see you next week bye