The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

00:00:00.000 yo i fucking hate when you're talking shit about yourself and someone's like don't talk about my

00:00:03.060 friend that way i'm like don't talk to your friend that way shut up don't talk to your friend that

00:00:07.400 way let me be mean to myself hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the

00:00:17.480 comment section show starring me your fave everybody knows me who cares about me

00:00:21.060 on to the guests today we have the iconic the legendary the unbelievably hilarious

00:00:25.760 jay cornell thank you for having me oh my god thank you so much for coming a dream we've been

00:00:32.480 passing ships for a while we really have so it's nice that we're meeting we've had we've had dates

00:00:36.540 and then we've had to do the very like thing of like hey sorry i actually can't do that day can

00:00:39.660 we change it we have we were playing uh cat and mouse yes yes but i knew i trusted that it wasn't

00:00:44.560 a lie i knew every time i was like she wants me there it's just not working on this time and i

00:00:47.500 hope she knows the same when i'm rescheduling and now i got you right where i want you

00:00:50.780 sat and ready but i did tell you to hold this for when we started rolling the cameras but

00:00:58.980 recently you went on a cruise yes i did recently go on a cruise with my mother and my sister

00:01:03.020 this episode is presented by sephora so look everyone's hair is doing its own thing curls

00:01:09.640 coils color damage frizz that has a mind of its own yeah we've all been there but sephora she gets it

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00:01:30.380 amika karastas k18 day all the heavy hitters sephora good news for great hair shop now at sephora.com

00:01:39.100 and how was it it was so here's the thing with the second year we've done it okay i found that a

00:01:46.060 cruise like if you want to take if you want to go on a trip with your family i think a cruise is

00:01:50.700 like the perfect like situation because it is a container you know what i mean okay and if you

00:01:55.900 think your family is fucked up it's good to go on a ship with people that will be guaranteed more

00:02:02.320 fucked up than yours do you know what i mean you feel good like you're saying it's like my sister's

00:02:06.000 pissing my mom off and then we see someone like just like absolutely blackout drunk screaming at

00:02:10.180 someone it's like we're actually good you know we're actually so good we're actually so good and we love

00:02:14.300 each other yes yes yes are you guys making an annual thing i think so this is the second year

00:02:20.060 and i think at the first year i was like annual thing and then this we did it for a second time

00:02:23.520 and i was like so we're gonna pivot i think i was like i think for like year three we like change

00:02:27.220 it up you know what i mean go somewhere else yeah absolutely maybe not a ship maybe not a ship

00:02:31.600 maybe yeah maybe not something that can but like and i do like we do have fun my mom loves it like

00:02:37.000 my mom gets on the boat and she's like well i was born here this is my home

00:02:39.260 and i'm like like truly that's my family yeah yeah absolutely she like knows the captain i'm

00:02:43.800 like how'd you meet like what's going on she's like texting us she's like should we go to this

00:02:47.740 event i'm like where'd you find out about that like she's like it's crazy she's like so integrated

00:02:51.940 into it and so but i think maybe we try something just like a different cruise because the thing is

00:02:58.240 we went on the same boat twice right and so you're sort of like oh this is the same exact vacation

00:03:02.740 you're like reliving it totally okay what what cruise did you guys do i don't think i'm realizing

00:03:08.620 i don't think i can say because it was a brand deal and if i talked to right right right right

00:03:11.720 but it was fun though but it was fun okay what's your favorite part about a cruise my favorite part

00:03:17.020 okay so i love like especially when you're with family it's very nice to like it's sort of fucked up

00:03:22.180 it's like a little bit of munchausen it's sort of nice to like not have a choice right do you know

00:03:26.200 what i mean yeah like it takes away choice you know like when you're like on a group vacation and

00:03:29.760 like there's just like the three hours of like where we should go for dinner it's like we're going

00:03:33.820 there for dinner unless you want to swim you know what i mean so it's like it creates that that's

00:03:38.480 where dinner is yeah yeah that's where we'll be it's sort of like when you like hook the car into

00:03:42.180 the car wash and now you're like we're going it's like that for like five days i like being brainless

00:03:46.720 too on vacay yeah yeah yeah are you a type a person i'm um type b okay i here's my thing i always say

00:03:53.860 i want there to be a plan but i'm down for us to deviate from it at any point okay you're so me

00:03:58.040 yeah because it's like committing either way no yeah you're so me yeah but it's sort of like i

00:04:03.940 don't want to go in with no plan because that means we are going to sit around and be like what

00:04:07.220 should we do for like five hours and i hate that me too but i also if it's like if something more

00:04:12.040 fun comes up let's go yeah you know what i mean i love that and i'm also like um money i've spent in

00:04:17.920 the past never existed so it's like do you know what i mean so like we can buy tickets to something

00:04:22.420 and then people like well we should go we can spend money on that but i'm like but i want to do the

00:04:25.060 other thing like the money that i spent me the money i spent on it is not real and that wasn't

00:04:29.660 me yeah yeah if i bought tickets to a concert six months ago and then i don't want to go to that

00:04:35.380 concert six months later that's on the artist and they're not seeing you there do you know what i

00:04:39.800 mean you lost me sorry you have my money but i'm not coming sorry yeah i hate to break it to you i

00:04:44.280 hate to do this last minute i will not be coming i'm calling them they're like who are you

00:04:48.580 i'm like emailing lord's representation i'm like no i actually love the word but like i mean people

00:04:53.940 being like hey like um we had tickets we're not gonna come i'm so sorry we can't make it they're

00:04:56.600 like how'd you get this email no that's actually so real i like to say i have friends who are much

00:05:04.020 more type a than me yes so when they're there carrie's one of them she's right here when she's

00:05:10.340 there she's got two screens in front of her right now she's doing scheduling

00:05:13.300 she's literally actively working uh when she's there i'm like i'm brainless yeah i'm literally

00:05:20.100 nicole kidman and baby girl totally and she's um the tall white guy i don't remember his name yeah

00:05:24.760 i'm starting to think that's what i need wait tall white guy oh harris dickinson yes she's him like

00:05:29.540 and i'm just nicole kidman i'm just there for the ride okay uh i love that kind of thing yeah i like

00:05:35.020 to be the thing is like i do i think because maybe you'll relate to this because i'm like loud and like

00:05:40.260 a dominant personality and like we'll have some i will like contributed opinion i think people are

00:05:44.780 just like oh we can do that but i'm like no i want to be baby girl i want someone to i want someone to

00:05:49.860 push back and no one thinks i want to be baby girl because i don't shut the fuck up right born to be

00:05:54.280 baby girl forced to be the center of attention forced by me forced by me forced by me and the

00:05:58.940 voices in my head i'm like no guys i want to be able to openly complain about the plan i don't want to

00:06:03.220 make the plan i recently ruined the night out so aggressively for ever like for my closest friends

00:06:10.800 where they wanted to they one of one of my friends like posited a plan he's like i want to go to this

00:06:17.420 party it was in a group chat i didn't want to go and obviously and so first mistake instead of saying

00:06:23.180 i don't want to go i just didn't respond to the text message which is like cardinal sin just say what

00:06:26.560 you don't want to do i then find out that like a conversation happened in real life when i wasn't there

00:06:31.040 i was like oh yeah let's go and through like a series of like me misunderstanding as few text

00:06:35.960 messages or conversations everyone got a ticket to this party except me and then it sold out so now

00:06:41.460 i'm now everyone's betrayed me and i hate them and i'm like truly i'm truly i'm truly being like i

00:06:45.960 threw like a temper tantrum of like a five-year-old child i was like i was like oh so everyone got a

00:06:49.280 ticket right and everyone and i was like there's a toggle on your number you could have added numbers and

00:06:53.820 you never no one thought to call i live with two of you no one thought to do i was they were like we

00:06:58.560 sent you a text asking if you wanted to go and i was like yeah but no one's you didn't

00:07:02.420 communicate either way i'm making up excuses either way miserable to be around for a week

00:07:07.300 about this my friend is like hey i found a ticket for you and i was like amazing i'm so glad this

00:07:12.760 worked out i knew it i'm like i knew it would i knew it would what you speak life into is what

00:07:17.920 comes back here's the thing but that brought me back to the original point which is that even when

00:07:21.720 before before i knew anyone had a ticket i didn't want to go to this fucking partner

00:07:24.760 because i knew i wouldn't enjoy it because you had to wait outside for like an hour and a half

00:07:29.940 in the new york cold i was like i'm gonna be in a bad mood and we had already planned to go to a

00:07:34.440 different party that i knew i was going to like beforehand and we were leaving that party to go

00:07:38.540 to this party is there a gun to my head making me go to this party absolutely not yeah we go to the

00:07:42.860 party that like the our friends party we're going to before this party that with the tickets yes we're

00:07:47.200 having a great time they're like okay it's time for us to go to the next party i don't want to leave

00:07:51.200 i do leave i then stay with them the entire time wait complaining that we're there like i was the

00:07:56.440 most miserable version of myself and there was part of me that was being like you suck to be around

00:08:00.580 right now you but the parasites inside me yeah but it's in a there's a there's a demon that is inside

00:08:07.120 me and then the next morning i stayed there until i stayed till three in the morning and then was like

00:08:10.920 i'm gonna go and it's like they were like thank fucking god oh really oh and then it was one of

00:08:16.440 those things where i apologized the next morning i was like hey guys i don't really know like what

00:08:19.380 was off in my brain chemistry but i i acknowledged that i was like a miserable to be around last

00:08:22.900 night like i'm really sorry about that like that won't happen again i i i should have just like

00:08:26.880 done what i wanted to do and i followed the fomo and it was a bad idea and like sort of expected

00:08:31.500 like the group response to do like the classic oh no like you were totally and everyone was like

00:08:34.620 you were really bad thank you for apologizing yeah they're like i forgive you yeah and you're

00:08:38.340 pushing it yeah and never do it again and knock it off yeah that's actually so real i think that's

00:08:43.500 so funny even when we go to like coachella like when i went to coachella this year

00:08:47.200 i'm gonna be 30 so yeah like i aged out of shit a long time ago and by that i mean

00:08:53.600 a lot of standing a lot of heat a lot of kind of just looking in the same general direction

00:08:59.920 not my idea of a good time anymore when i was younger for sure now not so much so when we go

00:09:05.940 to coachella i like go with the most open intentions just like we were talking about taco

00:09:10.560 about approaching it with good intentions right so it can't hurt you yeah so it can't hurt me yeah

00:09:14.640 that's how i approach coachella i'm like good intentions totally but i reserve the right to do

00:09:19.040 nothing and go nowhere like i tell my friends all the time if i don't want to go anymore or i don't

00:09:24.320 want to go till 6 p.m i hope everyone's cool with that and we all kind of agree on the same level we're

00:09:29.400 like yeah that sounds good it's nice going with friends who are the same age because i feel like

00:09:33.460 if everyone was younger yeah i'd want to kill myself every story i i've never gone to coachella and i can

00:09:39.020 pretty confidently say i never will um i just don't think it will i will thrive in that space and that's

00:09:44.160 fair yeah yeah honestly like i'm so good at like i'm so good at like the sort of party where like

00:09:49.120 we're having like there's maybe like a small enclosed space with like several rooms that i can

00:09:54.220 bop through and like chat but then there's like a place to sit down and there's a bar i can get

00:09:57.380 drinks exactly and everyone will be talking about coachella and then they'll suddenly throw in a

00:10:00.940 detail like it's normal where they're like and then we had to do the two-hour walk and i'm like

00:10:03.600 and people who are like vips yeah yeah i like oh yeah like it's it's truly planes trains and

00:10:10.800 automobiles like it it feels like what parents describe when they take their children to the

00:10:16.120 park and they're like i just got to burn off the energy so they go to sleep it's like yeah so they

00:10:19.740 nap right at the right time that's how it feels it feels like a big like and i've gone at least three

00:10:24.780 or four times at this point yeah um and each like i've gone before i did this i went again when i did

00:10:31.360 this and then like whatever i had a different experiences each time totally this past year i said

00:10:36.020 no matter how many times i go i encounter a new obstacle that i thought i conquered the year

00:10:41.560 before and i said it starts to feel like the hunger games the second one when the game master guy goes

00:10:48.620 he spins the fucking island and he goes let's see him try to tell time now that's how it fucking feels

00:10:53.480 every time i go to coachella it's like they're spinning the island and i i can't make sense of

00:10:57.200 anything and everyone's on drugs yes that's unhelpful yeah and everybody who's working the event

00:11:02.820 couldn't give a fuck less so if i ask them for directions they're like bitch i don't they're

00:11:07.200 like i'm trying to stay alive too like it's sort of like you're asking them for help and they're

00:11:09.700 like hey did you notice that i'm also in the desert like and they're like 22 years old they're being

00:11:14.100 like hey i'm not thriving right now yeah one of them just tried to sell me drugs and he's like you

00:11:17.760 think i know where the parking is i don't i'm here for a check bitch like parking and that's the other

00:11:23.000 thing is that i really the idea of like having to that everyone's driving there is so crazy because

00:11:29.220 like i live in new york like i forget people have to drive places outside of new york like you know what i mean

00:11:32.620 like i texted i felt like normal i'm doing another podcast tomorrow like with my friend's podcast

00:11:37.400 and i texted and i was like do we drink on your podcast can i drive and he was like we can drink

00:11:41.160 if you want and i was like i'm just so nervous about like i'm so nervous about ending up somewhere

00:11:44.880 and finding out i can't i have to drive that i didn't know i have to drive or something like that

00:11:47.880 i just feel like this car constantly worry this entire interview there's my nissan center that i

00:11:51.680 rented is behind this building and i'm so nervous to get stolen because i'm not used to ever being

00:11:55.340 responsible for a car i'm like 20 confident i locked it i guess you'll find out no for sure i did

00:12:02.500 have uh do you know terry joe from tiktok all right that's the first disrespect to the episode

00:12:07.640 yeah i know who terry joe is when she when her bitch ass was here her car got towed

00:12:12.640 and that's a fun fact

00:12:15.260 what's funny what's absolutely hilarious about it is when i filmed with

00:12:23.240 with keelan literally outside like he was dressed as terry joe i had i had a christmas sweater on

00:12:31.320 and the shit was on the hitch and i was like talking to the guy and i was like please put

00:12:35.100 it down like i'll pay you right now talking to the tow guy like i was terry joe yes i was talking

00:12:39.760 to them and keelan was standing next to me in the dress in the wig and we're both standing on the

00:12:45.120 sidewalk and i remember someone goes you know what's crazy is what if someone drove by and go

00:12:49.620 is that terry joe i bet someone fucking did i was in the most obnoxious christmas sweater too

00:12:58.780 oh and i convinced the guy to put it down and not tow it and then i had to pay i paid the

00:13:04.480 the tow guy the fee and everything and i told keelan i'm so sorry that i'm so sorry is so

00:13:11.260 the fact that you in the middle of los angeles that no one took a video of that

00:13:17.420 is like a profound miracle i literally was like i don't i'm not even gonna check my tags i don't

00:13:22.020 want to see them i don't want to know what the fuck people are saying on there i don't want to

00:13:25.120 know so if you did see me no you didn't i shoot like all my videos outside and it is my i've said

00:13:29.500 this before if anyone takes a video of me filming one of my videos and post it online you will never

00:13:33.540 see a video for me again you will never see you retired at that point absolutely i can't be i can't

00:13:39.380 see i can't i've been doing it for years now and i've just like i'm like everyone thinks i'm

00:13:44.380 facetiming like no one knows i'm filming selfie videos on the yeah if i see what the outside

00:13:49.720 world sees like if i find out what it looks like from the outside world i won't be able to do it

00:13:53.460 again it won't even be a choice every time i go and lift the phone i'll be like no you'll have the

00:13:57.860 the flashback of seeing yourself doing it oh my god to your point earlier about like a preference for

00:14:04.340 a party you're so t for that of like i like a nice and closed space people i like yes light bites

00:14:10.100 maybe some drinks nice music yes i'm with that i like that that's probably my like favorite and i

00:14:16.380 do love a big party but my thing is i like it to be inside the direct sun's a lot i like it to be

00:14:21.160 inside so you're a big sweater i'm actually not i am that's it's a humongous sweater it's fucking

00:14:27.100 awful that's tough that's tough and there's no like it's like there's no if there's no escape like if

00:14:33.560 you're in the middle and there's just no sun it's like your body's being like we're asking you to do

00:14:37.080 something like we're crying something about crying for help and you're like i sweat a lot

00:14:41.780 your body's like for a reason yeah move no i fucking agree and i what's funny is one time i

00:14:50.020 got invited to a party after i did i think it was last yeah it was last year i was in new york i did

00:14:55.540 met stuff with tiktok for the met but i didn't go to the actual met and i after the actual met i got

00:15:01.160 invited to a really exclusive party i'll tell you about it after like who it was but i was like well i gotta go

00:15:06.880 to that shit like obviously they invited me so then i went i took my fiancee and my sister

00:15:11.280 and i was like truly i was dreading going because i was like i don't want to talk oh god i gotta talk

00:15:18.200 it's like one of those it's oh it's such a task to go to a party but when you're old it's like it

00:15:22.820 was also not that it's not a party with your friends so all the conversation is like it's like

00:15:28.520 all the conversation is the same conversation over and over again and sometimes you like it feels like

00:15:32.180 a resume pitch honestly yes you had to that happened to me the last time i was in la i went to a party

00:15:36.640 yeah where it was one of those parties where like no one a lot of people didn't know each other well

00:15:40.660 and i realized that every conversation was essentially me pitching myself as a comedian

00:15:44.460 even though i was not trying to do that but the questions that they ask are they'd be like so

00:15:49.140 what are you here for and when is your show and when do you do your show yeah it's like it lends

00:15:52.780 towards that and i had to i like started to have and i'm not really this isn't normally like my vibe

00:15:56.860 but i did start to have like a minor panic attack and i was like in the middle of this girl being

00:16:00.540 like and and like so how many stand-up shows have you i was like um i actually go to the bathroom and then

00:16:04.620 went in and fully had to like look in the mirror and do breathing exercises to be like you can pitch

00:16:08.360 you can do this for another hour you can get through this it's like it's crazy because it's

00:16:12.240 like all we want to ever do is talk about ourselves kind of to some extent but then they ask the same

00:16:16.660 questions over and over again and you're like can you ask me about my dad i'm like i want to go

00:16:20.820 trauma it's like i'm a scorpio i'm like yeah i'm like can we talk like i'm like my parents are

00:16:24.780 divorced you want to talk about it like you know what i mean it's like and that's like sort of the

00:16:27.680 surface we can get i get that yeah when i went to the and when i went to this party i was like truly like

00:16:31.980 i was like trying to hype myself up for it i was like you're gonna be fine we're gonna be fine

00:16:35.940 also mind you i had taken edibles already before i got you and i are so different for that

00:16:41.040 i had already got i already taken them so i was like fuck well whatever happens happens

00:16:45.820 yeah so i go to the party it actually wasn't like a real party it was they had rented out like a small

00:16:54.120 italian restaurant in brooklyn like the entire thing and there was all all these tables and you just

00:16:59.680 sat at a table and they just brought you food and and i said now this god chose you for that

00:17:04.920 fucking yeah god chose you yeah i was like sitting don't have to go anywhere they just keep bringing

00:17:09.520 me pizza and different kinds of pastas and i was like yeah hell yeah yeah i'm into that also when i

00:17:14.400 have them when i'm high as fuck i was like this is the greatest night of my life i mean you were

00:17:18.120 so you're ready to eat all the food and i talked to literally nobody not one person i should have

00:17:22.660 but i didn't i i should have worked that room i did not no um i did stand there for a while

00:17:27.560 i at one point my sister was like oh my god i think that's um the lady from law and order svu and

00:17:33.880 i go mariska hargitay i'm gonna freak out yeah i never get starstruck but i love law and order svu

00:17:38.680 and i love olivia benson and i said are you serious because i have terrible vision so i can't see

00:17:43.120 and she goes oh no no no she um her name's not that's not mariska she's like she's plays

00:17:50.120 peter parker's aunt i go oh marissa tomei and she goes yeah and i go all right well

00:17:55.700 i do love her i just was like i was about to break my rule of not getting up from my chair

00:18:01.220 to go take a picture with olivia benson also if you had gone up stoned after eating like nine

00:18:05.320 slices of pizza to marissa tomei and been like i love you on law and order svu she would have been

00:18:10.120 like police like i forgot to mention too this was after i went to like a different party so but you

00:18:16.300 know the met theme last year was like ethereal something or other yeah yeah so i had this a very

00:18:21.020 ethereal long like rapunzel like braid with my outfit but then i had to change for the party but

00:18:26.800 was too lazy to change so you kept the braid so i was giving like rapunzel like disneyland character

00:18:31.740 and then i had like a jean tight bodycon dress on and i was like yeah now it's not probably the time

00:18:37.120 can i ask when you're wearing when you're wearing like for an event like that like hot like really

00:18:42.020 high-end fashion like that how stressful are you about like staining it ruining it like what is the

00:18:46.880 is that it depends because my ass would be i would it'd be toast yeah i'm staining regardless like i

00:18:53.720 think i think everybody's made peace with it like yeah i'm a stainy kind of girl unfortunately i spill

00:18:58.500 on myself all the time plus sometimes for really big events where i do borrow clothes like i get

00:19:03.440 spray tanned so like it's natural it's over it's oh it's over it's it's curtains for me honestly like

00:19:09.720 make peace with what the dress looks like i guess they have to know that you're gonna if they're

00:19:12.860 renting it out they do and they dry clean it you're and most of the time like stylus i think

00:19:16.800 will dry clean it for you too before they return it so that's one of those things where i'm like

00:19:20.700 it's fine okay yeah that's yeah well you did mention doing stand-up which i already knew

00:19:26.940 and you are a stand-up i would love to know how you got into it i got into it so i moved to new york

00:19:33.020 like 11 years ago and my first thing was improv i did love every great stand-up origin story

00:19:39.540 yeah an origin story yeah villain villain origin story and also just like the most like annoying

00:19:44.340 version of your self origin story you have to you have to be annoying to do improv a hundred

00:19:48.400 oh a hundred percent a hundred percent but i think i'd always been i think that like i had always kind

00:19:54.700 of been i was thinking about this recently i think that like i learned at a really young age that i

00:19:59.940 could i enjoyed like retelling stories that had happened and making them as funny as possible

00:20:04.080 right and like rehearsing them and sort of being like oh like like i i remember i recently remembered

00:20:08.960 like the first story that i kind of did that with and i was like oh yeah like i worked that story as a

00:20:12.900 kid i would like tell it to anyone and it was like an embarrassing story for my mom so she'd be

00:20:15.920 like please stop and i'd like nah it's my material you're like it's my bit i was like this is my first

00:20:19.280 10 minutes like you know what i mean and i just remember being like okay like if you hit that like

00:20:23.060 people always laugh at that and i think i really always thought about that a lot and then i moved

00:20:27.360 to new york and started doing improv and like got addicted to that so kind of put like stand i had

00:20:32.240 moved to new york thinking i'll do both and then just like went all in on improv yeah um and then was

00:20:36.660 like really involved at the upright citizens brigade oh cool um and was doing that and then that closed for a

00:20:42.880 while when the pandemic hit yeah so then i started making videos because we couldn't do anything else

00:20:47.540 and i missed performing yeah and then when the videos the videos kind of blew up during the

00:20:52.580 pandemic and so when like things started to reopen i just started getting offered more stand-up shows

00:20:57.200 than i had been before because i had been doing stand-up but i was like doing so much improv and then

00:21:01.260 i would do like an open mic here or there so i wasn't really doing stand-up enough to kind of break

00:21:06.000 from like the open mic tier into the like getting booked on shows tier and that i think the videos like just

00:21:10.920 kind of helped me push through that totally and then because and at that point i was kind of like

00:21:16.240 i was like oh now i'm like writing my own stuff and like because improv you do a show you're back

00:21:21.280 to square one at the end like you don't have anything you know yeah and so then i really started

00:21:25.020 to fall in love with like writing stand-up doing shows like figuring out um like like figuring out

00:21:30.340 like a show and a set and then it kind of just built over the last i guess like now five years

00:21:34.320 that's so awesome so it's been it was it was like a the pandemic was like a huge kind of pivot

00:21:39.080 and i don't know that i would have gone back to it had that not happened yeah you're you're actually

00:21:42.780 so real for that too because that's kind of how i started making videos was telling stories like

00:21:47.980 that was kind of the thing was talking about things that i found funny yes and i've talked i've talked

00:21:53.160 about that sometimes on like my other podcast with my sister where i've said like my whole thing is

00:21:57.600 like i i want you to laugh at my jokes uh but i'm not asking you what's funny i'm making you watch

00:22:05.780 what i find funny well that's that's exactly what it was because i feel like no because i feel like

00:22:10.340 my feeling about it when i was a kid was right was like something funny happened to me it'd be

00:22:15.280 like something funny happened to me and i wish you were there to see it too exactly so i have to tell

00:22:18.960 it to you as perfectly as possible so that you laugh as hard when i tell it to you as if you had

00:22:23.080 been there yeah do you know what i mean totally and i feel like that was why and i think that's why

00:22:27.120 with stand-up now i lean so much more into like trying to talk about things that i think are true or

00:22:32.560 like doing observational stuff because jokes i i have so much respect for comics who do jokes that

00:22:37.540 are like totally absurd and kind of like um like you know like funny lies or kind of like subversions

00:22:43.820 of things yeah they're like distant from them yes but like i actually am like incapable of writing

00:22:49.020 those because that's like so the opposite avenue i came at it from that's actually so true too i was

00:22:54.160 i was recently because i had i've done a i've done stand-up twice now i'm sure you're killer at it

00:22:59.920 thank you i did a five for caleb and uh chris fleming which was like a huge i mean that's i

00:23:05.480 mean a lineup to even be a part of i was like you guys made a big mistake sorry um but um i did that

00:23:13.640 and then i did a 20 recently which like when i did my five i was like telling my team after like i felt

00:23:18.780 a little stiff in it because even though i performed live many times like stand-up was so different for

00:23:23.340 me and i love stand-up i have so much respect totally for the art form that's why so many of my friends

00:23:26.960 are comics and a lot of you bitches are mean so that all kind of works out like we're all we are

00:23:31.020 one in the same birds of a feather you know yeah and so i felt like when i first wrote my five i felt

00:23:36.640 almost chained to the material because in my head i was like well i have to memorize this exactly the

00:23:40.800 way i wrote it whereas like what is fun for me and telling jokes is kind of like leaving the space a

00:23:46.440 little bit open to kind of divert from it well i bet because you sound i bet you and i are somewhere in

00:23:51.320 the way where the way you're going to memorize it is by doing it on stage exactly once once a certain

00:23:56.260 like rhythm or cadence of something gets a big laugh i'll never forget it yes because then i'm

00:24:00.840 like because then i'm like that worked and like i'm addicted to that so then it's like yeah i know

00:24:04.660 if i say this like that it'll get a laugh and then i never forget it yeah because i wrote them so

00:24:08.960 literally when i wrote my jokes out i wrote them like as if i was telling them even with like pauses

00:24:13.280 breaks that kind of thing to kind of practice it and then i felt like i need to memorize that exactly

00:24:18.440 but when i tell stories i always hit the same points that i know make everybody laugh yes but

00:24:23.120 sometimes i divert depending on the room like depending on who's listening to me i'll like

00:24:27.380 hit some other points harder than others if i feel like the laugh at something yeah and i think

00:24:31.480 obviously you've been doing stand-up forever way longer than me so i'm sure you've noticed too like

00:24:35.180 do you have any favorite places to do stand-up like anyone's where you're like i'm gonna hit every

00:24:39.500 time there yeah i mean new york is home so new york is always the best yeah chicago is always great

00:24:45.120 oh nice chicago's that's fun oh i've always like loved chicago shows i think that like because like

00:24:50.160 chicago's like one of the few cities that still has like a going out to see live comedy like culture

00:24:55.160 it's like part of their thing totally and also and like sorry problematic sumi they're drinking town

00:24:59.920 and i love it i'm sorry you know what i mean like they're more fun when they drink i mean there's a

00:25:05.020 big risk with it but there's fun there's a sweet spot there's a sweet spot i did my other favorite

00:25:09.120 place one i'm obsessed with provincetown it's like one of my favorite places and i've done provincetown

00:25:13.620 three times now is that what they call p-town p-town yeah okay yeah um gays don't have time we can't say

00:25:20.020 province it's like everything has to get shortened but we the first time i did p-town was on the first

00:25:27.260 time i ever played p-town was the sunday of labor day weekend at 9 p.m okay and in provincetown people

00:25:35.800 start drinking at like noon yeah so i'll never forget this i'm backstage it was like sold out show i was

00:25:41.680 super excited i was like nervous also because like well let's also be serious like this is like a gay

00:25:46.220 vacation town i had been there for a week so it's like i've hooked up with half the audience at this

00:25:49.220 point you're looking at a real sister wife yeah it's like i've hooked up with like a quarter of

00:25:54.560 the audience i'm trying to hook up with another quarter and then half of them are like don't ruin

00:25:58.380 it well i'm sort of like if i bought it's like because like anytime anytime someone is willing

00:26:03.520 to like engage with me romantically after i have performed live comedy in front of them i'm like

00:26:07.580 you i like i either must be good or you have a brain injury because like there's no way like

00:26:12.580 the most unsexy thing in the world is being bad at comedy do you know yeah i agree like the most

00:26:17.080 i made that joke once where i was like imagine like because one girl told me that her ex used to

00:26:22.400 do um what was it what's the character ace ventura she said he used to do an ace ventura impression at

00:26:28.660 every party they went to and i said was it good she said no and i said you got past two parties like

00:26:33.760 no shit or one i would have been like and you know what's funny i was like you know what's worse is

00:26:37.460 like they tell a joke it flops doesn't land and then you got to go home with him no you

00:26:42.440 shared you carpool okay i did improv in new york city for six years i would i watched women sit

00:26:47.740 and watch their men do the most horrific shit on stage you've ever seen and then come on stage

00:26:51.560 and be like good show baby like and i was like heterosexuality is a sickness like this is crazy

00:26:57.180 like crazy brainwash you bridge the brainwash i'd watch a man tag every person off stage off to do a

00:27:05.060 solo scene where they like gave birth to a rhinoceros they played the person giving birth and the

00:27:08.740 rhinoceros thought it was funny woman would try to walk on they'd be like no like you know what i mean

00:27:12.180 and then their girlfriend would be like good job baby and i was like i was like something is

00:27:16.160 happening here like there's a darkness here right no but okay so you're at p-town i'm at oh so

00:27:22.800 they're like town and i was like and i was thinking like i bet people are wasted like because i went to

00:27:27.320 there's like a there's a party that happens from four to seven every day called tea it's like a huge

00:27:31.140 party on the dock i had gone to it um because my show was until nine yeah and i didn't really drink

00:27:36.060 or anything but i was there and i was like well people are lit here and my show's in four hours so i was

00:27:40.000 gonna go so i was backstage like kind of like nervous i was like i wonder what the vibe's gonna

00:27:43.100 be and they're like welcome to the stage jake cornell i come around the curtain i as i'm walking

00:27:47.820 to the mic i go one two three four five six seven people dead asleep

00:27:50.620 like sold out crowding in the front part i can see in the light there are seven people asleep

00:27:56.580 and so i was like sick and so i love that the whole show was playing to like half the like i would

00:28:03.020 say half the audience like was asleep or falling asleep during it because they were so drunk that they

00:28:07.860 were like like i like fighting to stay awake like to the point where i was like do we need a medic

00:28:11.900 like i saw one person who was like at one point it's like artists that like are like guys guys

00:28:18.560 pause the music no i've been writing a rap stopping to tell someone yeah like literally

00:28:22.100 stop the track stop the track stop the track they're like i'm like it's too hot like it's air

00:28:31.680 conditioned no you're just not funny enough and they're drunk sorry

00:28:34.620 no but then i would do and it was like so then it would be half the audience was laughing half

00:28:40.100 was asleep and then there was like this really demonic situation where there was like four people

00:28:43.220 at the back that were so drunk like just drunk enough that they got every joke on like a 30 second

00:28:47.500 delay so i would tell a joke audience would laugh i'd start telling the next joke and then they'd be

00:28:51.680 like oh because it was a dog like oh that was a good one and i was like yes playing to drunk people

00:29:00.540 is truly like it's hit or miss because like sometimes they're way more fun when they're a

00:29:05.400 little loose yeah and then sometimes they take that as an opportunity to have their five minutes

00:29:10.280 of fame like they're like now is my chance have you dealt with like like hecklers or just like

00:29:16.240 disruptive people before yeah i have like and and they were at like my tour shows so it wasn't like

00:29:22.400 it wasn't like a random which i think is harder or can be harder depending on the situation

00:29:26.820 for me it would be easier if it was someone who didn't specifically buy a ticket to come watch me

00:29:31.060 well i think it is harder when they yeah like they they like you you don't want so it's like

00:29:35.040 you can't because you're like i mean we both could like destroy them do you know what i mean

00:29:39.040 it's like when it's a stranger it's better for me absolutely i agree and so i have had that have

00:29:43.900 you had that not so to answer to finish answering before like those cities were like really really

00:29:49.080 fun to play but i have had a couple cities where like i've recently started playing clubs

00:29:53.400 in some cities where because normally like if i play it's like people most people who are there

00:29:58.300 came like bought a ticket to come see me right but i recently played um like a played a club that

00:30:04.440 was in a town that had a ton of conventions in town okay like it's a it's like there's like a ton

00:30:09.220 of big uh convention hotels around the club right so there were people there to see me but also

00:30:14.500 there was like a big like there was like a large number of people who clearly just like for like

00:30:18.980 the later show because i did i did like a five show weekend so it was like there was later shows

00:30:22.840 on friday and saturday i think that there were people that just kind of had truly been like well

00:30:26.380 what do we do at 10 o'clock in this town or 11 o'clock whatever it was and bought tickets to me

00:30:29.740 not knowing just like bought tickets to like the comedy club yeah so there were a lot of people that

00:30:33.880 don't know me so i had my first where in like the first ontario the wait is over the gold standard of

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00:31:35.060 for details please play responsibly i don't know minute and a half i mentioned i was gay and one guy

00:31:40.160 in the front row goes oh and i was like sweetie you're about you leave now or you're in for a rough

00:31:47.040 oh yeah lock in because like also the fact that it took you 90 seconds is crazy oh god you can see my

00:31:55.900 shoulders like you know you're like your girl you know i know you heard my voice you do without me

00:32:01.520 having to tell you i was talking i made a video yesterday about how i straight people make me i don't

00:32:06.420 understand them i'll love to your culture but like no it's okay we'll talk shit on them i like i made a

00:32:10.860 video yesterday about how i it hurts my feelings when gay flight attendants don't like give me a

00:32:13.960 special little nod of like hey gay guy i just like need like some like gay guy gay guy moment yeah we

00:32:18.180 need and a bunch of people were commenting like they probably don't know you're gay i was like they

00:32:21.480 know trust me they know they know and they know when you're gay too and have you ever had like

00:32:26.680 sometimes people like will pull you aside like like how do you tell and it's like how do you not

00:32:31.860 i don't know like yeah no i've never in my life had to guess it's literally it's to me it is quite

00:32:39.060 literally like putting a bunch of donkeys in a field and being like how do you tell which ones

00:32:43.740 are zebras it's like because they have their zebras because y'all have a bunch of donkeys out

00:32:49.540 there and then there's the zebras and the zebras are gay there's one fucking zebra and he's doing this

00:32:55.020 so like sometimes i feel like you'll do like people will do it about like little kids who

00:33:01.560 obviously they're not going to come out yet because they're like small children but maybe

00:33:04.160 they're starting to like show signs of their powers right and like someone will be like like

00:33:09.160 someone will be like do you think like teddy might be and literally he's like in the living

00:33:13.060 room in an elsa dress like ah and it's like yeah you know yes you know what i think you might be

00:33:20.860 on to something donna like you know that reminds me i i just posted um a cut down when i filmed with

00:33:28.660 joe and andrew from good children my favorite people fucking love them wait can i also say i

00:33:33.060 listened to that episode and they were like they were like they were like when we go to pride under

00:33:39.300 some fucking bridge i invited them about that's that party that was my idea to go to that party

00:33:44.060 fucking brooklyn bridge it was like no it was oh you wish it was the brooklyn bridge it was the

00:33:47.640 kajusko bridge because it was under the brooklyn bridge it would have been a boat party that's

00:33:51.300 fine we were under an over like a like it was over like an overpass under on the ground

00:33:56.540 concrete oh yeah that was concrete concrete yeah yeah for sure and the party was not fun and i felt

00:34:03.140 so bad and then and it was three years ago and it was the first thing they brought up when you said

00:34:07.860 they're like we don't do that i was like well they did when it was my idea yeah and they said they

00:34:11.540 were like we went to vip it was just a fence so i will take i will take they text me back i got

00:34:17.620 there i did not buy vip because i was like like and they were like once again you're left out of

00:34:21.620 but that time no but it was like the kind of thing where i was like let's check this out it's like a

00:34:26.200 25 ticket they bought the vip it was like 150 and i showed up i was like no no no no no we were

00:34:30.960 supposed to do that and your experience was terrible yeah like your hundred dollar experience was

00:34:35.740 terrible yeah and should have done 25 should have done 25 and as i said because as i said i was like

00:34:40.800 well that money's in the past like we can leave it up but i couldn't do that because i was like

00:34:43.160 y'all sent 300 bucks to me here and when i was talking to them i posted a cut down where i'm

00:34:48.560 saying like talking to straight people is taxing it's boring yes right because and then joe goes i

00:34:55.520 just can't talk about survivor anymore i just can't and we're laughing in the comments someone wrote

00:35:01.500 a funny ass over they said let me just list the restaurants i've been to to for the next 45 minutes

00:35:06.820 which is like so funny but to that same point um i got so many comments from people that were like

00:35:13.280 aren't you straight yeah i am what does that have to do with me making fun of y'all like what the

00:35:19.680 fuck like what does that have to do with it i what the fuck are you talking about and i was literally

00:35:23.520 also if you're a straight person and a gay person a straight person are making fun of you we've chosen

00:35:27.260 that straight person you don't get to say do you know what i mean also i'm also straight i can make

00:35:32.800 fun of us it's fine it's fucking fine and honestly one time i was like i was making this joke with

00:35:37.600 caleb and my sister and i was like if anything that's proof that you're straight because you're

00:35:42.420 fucking annoying yeah oh it's proof you're straight actually i know for a fact you're straight because

00:35:47.900 you're fucking annoying and can't take a joke straight people and white people and especially

00:35:50.560 straight white people are obsessed with are obsessed with doing like a sick comeback by stating a

00:35:56.640 basic fact and it's like we all knew that what i got a comment that was like on that same video that

00:36:04.100 was like wow and imagine if i said this about gay people i said they actually say way worse things

00:36:09.720 about gay people believe it or not they're actually saying way worse things than you're fucking boring

00:36:13.160 yeah and also it would be a lie yeah so if if someone ever said i've made a video saying gay people

00:36:19.560 are boring to talk to you're a liar a hun you're a 1000 percent 100 and the other thing is it's like

00:36:25.760 we are not coming like this is what straight people don't understand with that argument is like

00:36:30.120 they're like wow you said like gay people talking about straight people is so fucked up and it's like

00:36:34.780 okay so you're coming to gay people and talking about how they're bad for being gay right we're

00:36:41.020 coming to straight people and talking about how you're bad for everything the fuck else you do

00:36:45.680 yeah for like for how you dress how you eat how you talk how you make art yeah exactly all of it's bad

00:36:52.680 so i actually think your sex is fine i have no issue with you guys having sex with each other

00:36:56.880 it seems like you actually guys have a problem with that a lot of the time it actually seems like

00:37:01.680 you guys have like huge problems with that specifically you have a bigger problem with

00:37:05.300 your sexuality than gay people do and let's be really clear about that do you know what i mean

00:37:09.280 absolutely like it actually like that's like your number one struggle yeah and i and i don't give a

00:37:13.900 fuck like i was like i don't know what about me makes you think i'm gonna give a fuck about joking

00:37:18.000 about how boring straight people are it's fucking true it's that's why i laughed so hard when someone said

00:37:21.760 let me just list the restaurants i've been to for an hour because that does it that is what the

00:37:25.460 fuck they do like i we've been doing that if you need proof that straight people are boring go to a

00:37:29.860 straight wedding and see how every straight person is walking up to that event like they're about to

00:37:34.380 have the biggest fucking night of their lives they're like we're gonna we're gonna never forget

00:37:40.240 this night and i'm like it ends at 11 they love a wedding it ends at 11 notice how i'm talking about

00:37:45.600 them as if they're a third person because i don't relate to that no in any way straight or form

00:37:51.000 and i've said before all of my friends are gay or part of the community in some fat former fashion

00:37:56.780 yeah me and my fiance are most i'd say with the exception of like maybe one or two people i'm a

00:38:02.280 token straight for most people and a lot of times i'll talk to especially my lesbian friends i'll talk

00:38:06.740 to them and they'll be like i always forget you're straight that really pisses me off like they get

00:38:11.360 annoyed at me it's like the realization comes back and they're like oh i forgot about that fuck yeah but

00:38:16.480 that's i think that's because you're not you're not doing it all in my face you know what i mean

00:38:20.120 like you're not whatever you do behind closed doors is none of my business i just don't want

00:38:25.440 it shoved in my face you're not making but you make up for it you're doing all the right things

00:38:29.300 to kind of fix it you know what i mean you're seeing your problem you're saying i'm gonna be

00:38:32.500 funny i appreciate it i'm gonna be on you've read the texts yes i have the ancient texts absolutely

00:38:37.460 when sometimes it's so funny because sometimes when i look back i'm like everything i've ever loved

00:38:42.860 has been universally loved by gay people like or women or both a hundred percent and i was like

00:38:47.720 in 2009 with lady gaga like had poker face and bad romance and all that shit my sister and i were

00:38:54.240 spending hours learning the choreography to bad romance and then showing other people i was like

00:38:58.320 14 at the time too so i wasn't a child no i was a full-blown teen and that really was that really

00:39:03.860 was the litmus test was when when um fame monster came out that was really i think when those lady gaga

00:39:09.880 black and white photos dropped that was really when it was like so now there's two sides and it's

00:39:15.080 mostly gay and straight but then there's some straight people who have said i can see what's

00:39:18.320 happening over here she's cooking yeah she's yeah she's cooking wait on her she's cooking and i'm the

00:39:22.160 ingredient it's like i'm gonna cook like you know what i mean absolutely i would i i'm curious though

00:39:28.440 like what's the weirdest or like worst experience you've had doing stand-up what's the weirdest or worst

00:39:34.820 experience i've had doing stand-up um oh i have i have one this was bad this was bad i once um

00:39:46.180 before i wrote the show before i had the hour that i'm doing now i had a different idea for a

00:39:52.000 different hour right and um and it was about like a totally different topic and it was like a totally

00:39:57.520 different like it was kind of because with both of them it was kind of like i had these like sort of

00:40:01.640 like collection of jokes where i was like oh wait i think i could expand this into this bigger thing

00:40:05.500 and then and so i had it with a different kind of set of material i was like i'm gonna make it this

00:40:09.480 big thing and i did i like announce so i i was working on it and with both shows what i did i need

00:40:17.660 like a deadline yeah so i set a deadline where it's like i book a show that it's like well you have to

00:40:23.420 like i booked a show at a theater so you have no choice so it's like well people are buying tickets

00:40:26.500 to this thing so you have to have it done and written by then yeah otherwise like what the fuck

00:40:30.880 yeah so the first time i did that was with this other show and i was working on it and i had the

00:40:38.740 pieces and i think because it was my first time putting together a full hour i thought kind of

00:40:43.280 similar to what we were talking about earlier i like with the kind of like there's certain stuff i

00:40:46.800 have to figure out on stage yes i overestimated how much needed to be figured out on stage

00:40:51.660 and did not put enough of the pieces together or really look at it as a whole right and so i was

00:40:57.740 like and i announced it i and i announced it as a work in progress show which i'll also never do

00:41:01.660 again because it's sort of being like hey come see this thing that might suck suck shit and it's like

00:41:05.400 just presented as good yeah you're like it's almost like keeping a back door for yourself but it's

00:41:10.280 it's handicapping you almost well it gave me a back door that i then did fall through yes it's like

00:41:15.500 presented as a full show because i need i need i will take the easy way out if i don't

00:41:20.240 take it away for myself so i should have i admire you for that yeah that's a really a really scary

00:41:25.280 way to work but what happened was what happened was i booked the show and didn't really think to

00:41:32.100 like like i didn't really think about like who that like anyone could buy tickets and i get there

00:41:38.960 and it's like someone i'm kind of hooking up with someone i'm wanting to hook up with like

00:41:43.780 some comedians i kind of respect friends i haven't seen in years and i'm like no no this was supposed

00:41:48.340 to all be strangers like you're supposed to come to like the show and it's like good like oh now you

00:41:52.040 guys want to support me yeah and then i got also something i have a story to tell you after about

00:42:00.140 what had happened with one of these people i would love to which is also kind of like why my brain was

00:42:04.780 feeling crazy at the time i get on stage i start doing the two openers were good like they did a great

00:42:12.540 job audience is warm i get on stage i like get 15 minutes into the show and all of a sudden i just

00:42:19.600 it's like the audience was laughing like i wasn't bombing but i knew i had to do 45 more minutes and

00:42:25.780 i just had this moment where like my whole brain went quiet and like i just heard myself go this

00:42:30.380 doesn't make any fucking sense like i realized what like the thesis of the show was you're like bailing

00:42:37.200 mid set like but it was like i was like don't bail on yourself but like it was like this conversation

00:42:42.800 between me and myself where it was like no you're not bailing on yourself this sucks like it was like

00:42:47.900 it was like it was like there was like it was it was like almost like i hadn't like said enough of

00:42:53.020 it out loud when i was writing it and as i was saying it i was like that doesn't make sense like it

00:42:57.220 wasn't like it was like hitting but not in the right way and i was like i can't land this plane because

00:43:02.240 i didn't build a plane it's over and so i just pivoted to kind of just doing like looser stand

00:43:07.380 up for the whole thing and got up stage and afterwards i but and like the show wasn't that bad

00:43:13.220 but i felt the need to apologize to every person i knew in the audience after and my friend was like

00:43:17.240 stop doing that people just what people were kind of laughing like you weren't that bad and they

00:43:22.940 were like i'm so sorry about that like it was like you would thought i had like you would have

00:43:26.620 thought that i had like talked about their mom specifically and said nothing nice like it was like

00:43:29.680 and they were like stop doing that please please please guys please guys that's my friend

00:43:37.860 oh my yo i fucking hate when you're talking shit about yourself and someone's like don't talk about

00:43:42.400 my friend that way i'm like don't talk to your friend that way shut up don't talk to your friend

00:43:46.740 that way let me be mean to myself do you have any virgo in your chart i know you said you're a

00:43:51.100 scorpio no capricorn rising though it's that it's that it's like yeah the workhorse i was gonna say

00:43:56.860 you're very uh you're you being able to like leave your body for a sec watch yourself and critique

00:44:03.100 your set live yeah that's like that's like my greatest i feel like that's my greatest skill

00:44:08.140 and my greatest detriment detriment especially when i'm trying to like write like something like an

00:44:13.820 essay or like write like writing yeah i'm like i will edit so much as i'm writing because i'm

00:44:19.300 criticizing it so much that i'll be like cool three hours one paragraph sick and i was typing the whole

00:44:23.860 time but it's like no no no no like it's just like because like you're self-correcting yeah

00:44:28.240 instead of just like letting it be bad on the first and then going back and i think that's why i think

00:44:32.620 that was the thing that drove me to improv and stand-up is like i need the audience in front of

00:44:36.280 me to like make it so that i just have to keep going right you know what i mean yeah totally it's

00:44:40.380 like kind of holding your own feet to the fire yeah and committing to your work yes because it is good

00:44:45.000 and you know it's good yes but then live sometimes you're like hate it hate it hate it hate it

00:44:50.220 like yeah this is actively bad i want to get off the stage are there any cities that you're like

00:44:56.240 never good never fun not going there again joel kim booster told me he's like oh yeah tucson arizona

00:45:02.300 never again arizona as a whole he's like they've burned me multiple times yeah i think that one so

00:45:08.520 the club i want to be clear if anyone from the club sees this i really enjoyed the club i worked at

00:45:12.140 but indianapolis and i did not vibe i was just not connecting with her it was not like it was not

00:45:18.760 the audience it was the vibes were off yeah people in the audience being like oh gay guy and i was

00:45:23.160 like oh straight guy like i don't know like just like that and also it was like their nba team was

00:45:28.640 in their nba team was in the middle of the nba finals while i was playing yeah the pacers yeah yeah

00:45:33.240 thank you thank you and she is straight and you saw that and you saw you saw that

00:45:38.160 the pacers

00:45:40.640 they bleeped that part

00:45:45.360 i was like saying it more so for myself that's the other thing that's the other thing that'll be

00:45:51.680 really jarring about being around being around when you are around straight people who aren't

00:45:55.380 around gay people that like often is you'll casually drop a faggot and they're like oh

00:45:59.460 because me my friends are saying it all the time you say in front of like a straight person who's not

00:46:05.320 like around gay people a lot you literally it's oh my god yeah i i literally i was when i was with

00:46:10.060 tricksy last she was telling me she goes do you say it come on do you say it and i was like shut

00:46:15.840 the fuck up no i don't and i said but i i'll tell you this every gay friend i have that i know and

00:46:20.580 love has always been like you can say it it's fine yeah i was like i'm not gonna do that shit you

00:46:26.360 weirdo every time they said i'm like that's a test and i'm gonna pass it

00:46:29.360 that's how i feel but you're right that does jar them it is yeah yeah i respect you for not saying

00:46:37.000 it i think you can say it but i think it's so chic but i think it's so chic to not because if if you

00:46:43.300 did i know part of you be like so she chose to say it like there would be a part of me oh yeah i know

00:46:48.820 how you gays are that's why i was like no you're not sort of like it's sort of like when like it's

00:46:53.900 sort of like when you're at a restaurant and you offer someone of a bite of something you don't want

00:46:56.600 to share do you know what i mean so like do you want a bite of this cake and they're like yeah

00:47:00.140 and you're like fine you know right sick sick i actually really like the cake you know what i

00:47:05.180 mean and you know that yeah i think that's fair i think uh indianapolis not vibing with you

00:47:11.740 kind of makes sense yeah and no offense to the gay people who i saw in indianapolis i did really

00:47:16.320 love also something really crazy happened which was like i i try to go to a gay bar after every show

00:47:20.540 to see like local gay bars in like the different i think it's like that's fun especially because like

00:47:25.620 you know in new york and la and in like in chicago like the gay bars are like very fun but also like

00:47:31.720 they're in cities where like it's pretty coached to be gay all right you know what i mean going to

00:47:37.000 like gay bars in like smaller cities where like that gay bar is like actually their like haven

00:47:41.720 yeah is so magical like it's such a better vibe i think that's wonderful not better i don't want

00:47:47.600 because i love i love my gay bars in new york it's just a different experience it's just a

00:47:50.800 different vibe and it has like this thing that's like really special and so i try to go to like

00:47:54.300 one after every every show or every time i'm in a city just like see when i get the vibe

00:47:58.100 yeah um it's like and it's like something to do because sometimes in these cities like alone you

00:48:01.820 know what i mean it's like it's a fun like activity but i went someone i'm in um in in indianapolis i

00:48:08.600 was like asking at the show i was like oh like what are the fun gay bars everyone's like greg's you got

00:48:11.440 to go to greg's and so i put it in google maps um and turns out someone had just saved their

00:48:16.120 friend's house greg in google maps but accidentally as a public location just some house like in the

00:48:21.800 middle of nowhere perfect really far out of town and the car i was like i like it was driving and

00:48:26.620 i was like i think this is wrong and then i look at the photo and it's just a man's front door and i

00:48:30.120 was like turn the car around no i was like i was like indianapolis doesn't want me here i don't

00:48:34.380 think i'll be going to greg's no no no i don't think greg um is expecting me because he's a civilian

00:48:39.280 that's honestly a really funny joke if they just got you for that my friend one of those like one of

00:48:46.720 the most iconic things my friend ever did was one time she was drunk my friend shout out melissa rich

00:48:50.520 comedian in new york she was drunk and she thought it'd be funny to save her apartment as a kinko's

00:48:55.300 in google maps and then people started calling her asking her to get shit printed and she felt bad

00:49:01.020 and she has a printer so she just started printing shit for people for free and so like i'd be at her

00:49:06.500 apartment and still would be printing and she's like i got an order sorry i have people calling her

00:49:11.560 cell phone my five to nine after my nine she was on the phone she's like no i can't do color

00:49:17.200 you're like you know you don't have to do that she's like i put it in the maps and and whenever

00:49:24.560 i would like go to visit her she's moved now but when i would go to her place i would type in kinko's

00:49:27.560 in google maps because also the funny thing it was only the the reason it also worked is the only

00:49:32.500 people that ever called her were old as fuck because kinko's closed like 20 years ago it's fedex office

00:49:36.140 i was gonna say so it was always like some like old or lower east side person who was like i need a

00:49:41.020 form and you're just like i got you baby i got you baby you know and so it was my favorite thing

00:49:45.460 giving back to the community absolutely we love that yes to your point about not vibing with

00:49:49.640 indianapolis like do you ever notice that when you're touring especially like if you're going to

00:49:53.240 different cities like how some cities love certain jokes other cities it doesn't hit as hard

00:49:58.020 the biggest i would say the biggest litmus test is in my out my hour right now i have like a

00:50:03.640 probably like a 10 minute section where i go in pretty hard on marriage like the concept of

00:50:07.360 marriage yeah and like that shit hits different in the south and then like you know i mean like

00:50:11.900 that really like i have a like i go in on like the concept like i don't think most married people

00:50:15.960 are happy and like up north people are like yeah and like in raleigh people were like what

00:50:20.000 you know i mean it gets like tight fast like don't like it's like a there's like there's jokes that you

00:50:25.760 like i leave full laugh breaks for in certain cities that when that and others it's like you actually

00:50:30.500 have to say the punchline so fast they're gonna get so mad you know what i mean like or like the

00:50:34.460 second punchline you know what i mean where you kind of like reveal the other side of the joke

00:50:37.340 you got to kind of one time one time like i have this line in it where i say like have you ever

00:50:41.980 met a happy married person and it's like in the context of like a larger joke but i say have you

00:50:45.380 ever met a happy married person and one time this woman in the audience went yes

00:50:48.860 did you laugh oh yeah you're like all right i was like oh seems like you needed that yeah tears in

00:50:59.720 her eyes yes of course i have of course uh straight person straight person see you can't

00:51:07.760 laugh that's what i'm saying absolutely that's why i know you're straight yeah no sense of humor

00:51:10.920 yeah when i was uh touring last year we did like three shows in texas and i remember

00:51:18.460 in dallas i for some reason i don't even remember oh because we watched this movie on the tour but we

00:51:24.120 watched rise of the planet of the apes on the tour bus and we love planet of the apes that universe

00:51:28.080 for some reason we really enjoy those movies so like we watched it it was kind of on my brain yeah

00:51:33.900 so i kept making this joke i made it one time and in the beginning like in the opener for probably

00:51:39.560 like the first 20 minutes i made like apes together strong right like because i was telling them that's

00:51:45.040 you guys when i'm up here you guys apes together strong you just copy what i tell you to do because

00:51:49.320 you're good noodles and it killed it killed every time i said it to the point where i kept going back

00:51:55.420 to the well right like throughout the entire hour then the next night i think we went to houston

00:52:01.100 and in houston within the first 20 minutes again i'm thinking not too far from dallas right obviously

00:52:06.900 they're loving chimp jokes yeah so then the next one i go apes together strong not i said wow perfect

00:52:13.300 put that on the shelf not gonna touch that again oh yeah didn't make one more ape joke the rest of

00:52:17.360 tour i've had a joke bomb so bad that i've never done it again and it killed for a year i had a joke

00:52:22.560 that killed for a year and one time it bombed so bad that i literally went i've never i i said the

00:52:27.260 joke the audience changed so succinctly so intensely so suddenly and i went i i like stopped and i went

00:52:34.260 i have to be honest with you an audience has never reacted to me this way i'm actually kind of still

00:52:39.380 processing and they all kind of laughed so i thought okay i'm gonna now keep going with the joke

00:52:43.860 because they're back right back they were like and we hate you again so you're going back to that joke

00:52:49.960 yeah and i've not done it in like two years and i have a couple friends like i like that joke do

00:52:53.500 it again i'm like it's dead it's locked away that's in the disney vault i'm never touching her it can't

00:52:58.800 happen again it can't happen again no recently when i did uh the 20 minute set i worked in some jokes

00:53:05.940 about love island because love island is so popular right now are you watching it i so love island is

00:53:11.120 one of those shows that i absorb through osmosis like from twitter and from friends and then i have one

00:53:16.440 really good friend olivia shout out who i'll sometimes she's really good sometimes like right

00:53:21.020 before i get on the treadmill i'll text her like can you like explain to me this and then she'll

00:53:23.800 give me like a 20 minute voice note love press play personal podcast that's like all my friends

00:53:28.740 because i never i watch the same like three four things over and over again don't diagnose me i don't

00:53:33.320 know what it is but that's just what i do can i can i ask what they are oh yeah i watch bob's burgers

00:53:37.420 is in my rotation right now uh modern family was in my rotation for a very long time i think modern

00:53:42.780 family is one of the funniest sitcoms ever written for yeah it's hard for me to watch now because um

00:53:46.480 i'm like sometimes um when i've been like a little too excited in a gen z person will comment on my

00:53:50.980 videos come on cam from modern family and that is hard and it feels triggering i'm like that's not

00:53:56.240 good i hate that um i had the office in there for a minute i know a lot of people hate that show

00:54:01.920 no for whatever reason a lot more people like it it's just that the people who hate it are loud

00:54:05.500 and that's true and you know what i think too i'm like i get if it's almost like the similar to

00:54:09.720 friends where i'm like the people who love it are awful sometimes and i think that clouds people's

00:54:15.960 judgment of it you know what i'm saying so those are like kind of my things what about you do you

00:54:20.360 watch new stuff are you more of a i'm not much of a re-watcher except for sex in the city

00:54:25.940 i recently was brought to i had had a two milligram weed soda and my friend just casually

00:54:32.960 texted me a tiktok that was like an edit of carrie bradshaw and um david by lord off the new lord

00:54:40.760 album right full pressure tears i've watched it 60 times i can't stop watching this tiktok can i

00:54:48.020 tell you i've never actually watched sex in the city all the way through because you don't connect

00:54:51.300 with it you don't like it no i've just never i think it was like i was young at the time it was

00:54:54.920 popping and then i just haven't like really even ventured towards so okay i have a similar a kind

00:55:00.680 of similar trajectory which is that i didn't watch it at all because we didn't have hbo when i was a

00:55:04.000 kid right so could and i also and like i knew that the tbs one was edited so i was like i'm not watching

00:55:08.100 the edited one and then when i moved to new york i worked my like i was a bartender until i was able

00:55:15.700 to be a full-time comedian right and a lot like two of the main restaurants i worked at for like years

00:55:20.260 were really popular brunch restaurants in like lower manhattan and that was like like 2014 to 2018

00:55:29.420 2019 like white woman brunch culture that's my vietnam do you know what i mean like that's me

00:55:35.960 in the trenches absolutely and those i kind of associated those women with people who had moved

00:55:40.760 to new york city to kind of do their sex in the city cosplay like do their like live their carrie

00:55:46.340 bradshaw fantasy yeah i mean like we had like and like and they would say as much you know what i mean

00:55:50.540 and so i had this like profound resentment of the show and i was like fuck that show like i hate what

00:55:55.460 it's done to the city i hate what it's done and then my my ex when we were still together during

00:55:59.980 the pandemic he was like you i actually oh i know what it was i got a job doing a podcast that was

00:56:05.380 like about new york city restaurant and nightlife culture and it was like my ex and a couple of

00:56:10.000 friends were like it is so influential on that that you kind of have to watch it if you're gonna

00:56:13.640 have a podcast we were talking about it and i was like purposes and i was like yeah i'll watch it

00:56:16.860 for research three episodes and i was like you said you know what i judged too quickly oh and i was

00:56:22.460 like and now it's like i'm i'm like i'm like leaving conversations at a party to be like hey

00:56:27.040 are you talking shit on carrie what's up like i go over i'm like i'm like i have a pen like i'm

00:56:30.620 like defending it to the i think it is like i've met michael patrick king twice i like adore him i

00:56:36.200 adore that man yeah i like love that show so much now one of my one of my besties she recently watched

00:56:43.420 it for the first time and she's like you got to get into it bitch it and i think what's interesting

00:56:47.680 is i feel like because it's like six seasons i feel like there's no like i remember like with

00:56:51.940 like schitt's creek everyone was which i haven't watched but everyone would be like everyone would

00:56:55.460 be like you got to get to the end of season two and then it clicks and you're in love with it

00:56:57.940 which like is and then they like love all of it but i remember that was like everyone said like

00:57:02.000 there's this one specific point where if you get there you'll fall in love with it right i feel like

00:57:05.920 with sex in the city it's that click moment is there for everyone but it's at a different point

00:57:10.520 in the show like when you fall in love with it okay because there's like different aspects of what it

00:57:14.660 does in terms of like talking about relationships and friendships that i think when it hits the one that hits

00:57:18.720 for you you're like oh fuck i saw one of my friends on tiktok recently do like what i thought

00:57:24.020 she's a comedian so she was it was really funny but it was like very profound honestly when she's

00:57:28.780 she had that picture of from sex in the city where carrie's at mr at mr big store and she has the top

00:57:34.180 hat on and so like yeah exactly and it's like the cringe to end all cringe right like 100 but she was

00:57:41.040 saying in the video she goes i love to sit on a high horse and judge carrie because she does the most

00:57:46.060 humiliating things in the world but she was saying sorry she said but that being said that's how i

00:57:51.460 used to see her now i think to myself you have to be like another level of confident to do shit like

00:57:58.820 that like at anything now she's got an admirer in me go i bet don't you feel like i go back and watch

00:58:03.800 a tiktok i posted three years ago and i'm like that's carrie at the door baby yes yes it's that's

00:58:08.700 what it is yeah and she was saying like cringe maybe she's ahead of people because she's let go of

00:58:13.680 being cringe and she's just fully being herself yes maybe that is cringe to some people you have

00:58:18.860 to live like being empathic empathic towards other people and caring about other people but you also

00:58:23.220 have to live for yourself and live for your own pov and not live like you have to be kind to other

00:58:28.240 people and be considerate of other people but you also don't have to live for how they perceive you

00:58:31.880 like you have to yeah like you're getting passionate about carrie yeah i'll get hot right now like

00:58:38.200 it's crazy i just i love it so much never watch the second movie

00:58:42.240 true never watch the second movie noted and here's the thing you don't fucking need to it is

00:58:49.420 like inconsequential to the plot of like the it's like you know what i mean but how many are there

00:58:53.040 so three there's it's like there's six seasons of the show right two movies and then and just like

00:58:57.800 that that's right that's what i'm thinking of and that's the spin-off show or is it just an

00:59:01.460 extension of the show it's i uh i mean i guess you can call it either it's like it picks it it

00:59:06.880 you join in with the characters minus samantha right like 20 years later or whatever it is

00:59:11.820 gotcha yeah all right well i might have to lock in honestly i've been seeing a lot of signs lately

00:59:16.240 that i should watch that show yeah you may have i wonder do you know what i wonder is one of the

00:59:20.260 things that maybe has because you've been in a healthy relationship for so long do you know what i

00:59:24.880 mean because like so much of the show is about like dating and how much of a nightmare it is and

00:59:29.820 you've been over here with this like wonderful man this entire time so i'm like i don't know i

00:59:33.800 don't really see myself all your friends like you're sitting you're like cuddled up and you're

00:59:36.800 like i don't really see what people see in that show it's like yeah i wonder why i wonder why

00:59:44.300 honestly and i i saw a lot of people say too it's different it's a different experience watching it

00:59:49.040 when you're like in your late 20s 30s like it's a different experience watching it because it's like

00:59:53.580 it feels a lot more real when you're watching it whereas like when you watch when you're younger

00:59:57.200 you're like oh that would be crazy yeah i think that's also part of it is that i started watching

01:00:01.240 it because i'm like a little older than you know i started watching it when i was i'm 32 so i think

01:00:05.460 i started watching when i was like 30 which is like right around the age carrie is when it starts

01:00:08.760 and so i was like oh this even though it's like a completely different new york city right like than

01:00:13.680 what i live in now i was like oh like but this time in your life i understand would you say that's

01:00:19.040 your favorite show of all time or do you have a fave well there's different ones like charmed raised me

01:00:24.960 you have to understand that like i have never watched charmed but i do i've seen it like

01:00:30.400 obviously i've watched episodes but i've never watched it charmed raised me that's like in my

01:00:34.600 dna that's in my like cells right um and like there's other shows like dramas and stuff but i

01:00:39.500 would say sex in the city is one of them and it's the one i re-watched the most it's my most like

01:00:42.620 comfort show what are other shows you like buffy is a classic that one's when you said charmed i was

01:00:48.120 literally thinking you probably love buffy too yeah yeah yeah but this is the thing is that every gig i

01:00:52.500 loves buffy and buffy is like the cinema is more is the more like scholarly one to like

01:00:56.540 you know what i mean yeah yeah no i think so like it because it has it's a little bit more highbrow to

01:01:02.040 be honest with you right charmed is a little bit more like cp english you know what i mean the honors

01:01:06.360 you know um that makes sense but i i fuck with both of those those were like big for me when i was

01:01:12.540 young um i love um wait what's the other show i'm obsessed with right now oh oh oh oh oh oh

01:01:19.000 the pit i fucking love the pit i love that fucking show i'm gonna be in the pit i i'm like

01:01:30.320 literally they were like the this one they were like the next season takes place on the fourth of

01:01:33.300 july i was like let me play a gig i gotta get hit by a firecracker like like let me play a gay guy

01:01:39.240 that fly me i got let me be a gay guy in p-town that gets so fucked up by a firecracker they

01:01:45.040 medevac me to pittsburgh i'm dead serious the closest hospital is in pittsburgh please

01:01:49.600 that show has every it is my favorite show i have never me and my friends me and my like one of my

01:01:54.760 best friends we sat down to have dinner and just like hb we had like the broku tv on and we were

01:01:58.620 like let's watch something and it was the week the pit came out maybe even the day i'm like should we

01:02:03.000 just fucking watch this and then 20 minutes in i have not touched my food i like look over him i'm

01:02:06.940 like is this the best show you've ever seen and he was like yes we're experiencing a moment then on

01:02:12.640 i have i ran into langdon in the park did you really yes and i've i've been in the room with

01:02:18.880 at this point like a lot of celebrities like i'm friends with some famous people i'm i'm cool around

01:02:22.380 celebrities i was like i love the pit he was like what i was like you're and it was the week where

01:02:28.980 spoiler alert for the pit it was the week the episode came out where you find out that he has the

01:02:32.260 drugs girl gagged me and my dumb ass my dumb ass so i go this is so embarrassing

01:02:40.360 he's like my dumb ass thought he was off the show like i thought he was fired you know because it

01:02:47.760 was like they kick him out of the hospital yeah i mean i was like he's toast so he comes i come up

01:02:52.360 to him like i love you in the pit the pit's so great like it's really awesome um like i think

01:02:56.180 you're so great on it like it's just such a great show i'm so happy for you guys and he was like

01:02:58.920 i'm so happy i did not say that that would have been worse but i was like i'm so happy for you

01:03:01.700 no i didn't say that i was like it's so good and then he was like he goes he goes oh did you watch

01:03:07.340 this episode and i was like yeah and then i i went i'm sorry like he had lost his job that's

01:03:14.720 actually him and then two episodes later he was like back and i was like right right right sorry

01:03:20.280 about that i loved that fucking show oh i missed a doctor show i love a doctor show i was a graze fan

01:03:28.260 for a minute yeah but then graze gets to a point where i'm like oh just blow up that it's so realistic

01:03:34.320 like oh just explode it and start over i don't i can't do it the pit is so realistic it's so funny

01:03:40.740 it's so emotional like you'll laugh cry and be like like scream at the gore but i have a theory

01:03:46.400 about it oh please i think that i think one of the reasons it's so good and it's so successful

01:03:50.720 is because there's so much happening at all times and they're jumping so much it's tiktok brain

01:03:55.840 that's actually a really good theory it is literally moving at the pace of swiping like

01:04:00.200 2x my sister jokes all the time she's like sometimes like we were talking about love island

01:04:07.480 i go have you locked into it are you gonna watch it because she's kind of my source for a lot of

01:04:10.640 things so i'm like you watch it and tell me and uh she was like i i tried but like i need to watch

01:04:15.580 it in 2x like i can't i can't yeah i was like she's like my brain is so rotted i have to speed it up

01:04:21.140 i know that's actually such a good point though about the because it is so high paced that's i

01:04:25.020 genuinely think that is it it's so disturbing when you catch yourself watching something on 2x speed

01:04:29.320 with it minimized so you can read a wikipedia article why you're 2x and you have music playing

01:04:34.240 at the same time oh my god oh my god it's so bad in front of a tv that's playing it's literally it is

01:04:40.840 literally like what is it gonna look like when i'm 40 not good it's not looking great no it's not good

01:04:46.140 i'm gonna need like the like the chair to vibrate and like the house be on fire just to be like i feel

01:04:50.440 something it's so crazy dude even with the pit with that spoiler with that dr langdon thing on

01:04:56.700 the pills when that the mean like what's it what are they called the resident the the girl that was

01:05:02.500 like santos when she was ratting him out i was like why is everyone believing this bitch like i was like

01:05:08.000 hey fuck that girl i was so i was so she won me over by the end of the season but i was so anti-santos

01:05:13.120 at that time i literally like and everyone in the room turned on me because we started watching it

01:05:17.240 this right like with a friend group i was like if he's gonna be in a doctor on a couple pills let

01:05:21.540 him do it oh oh oh everyone was like what the fuck he's doing active surgery on benzo and i was

01:05:30.020 an apologist too because i was like well clearly he's doing a good job well that's not i was like

01:05:33.080 did he fuck up did he fuck up no let's think about this i was like i literally was like he only got

01:05:38.880 caught because she's nosy you would have never known otherwise a defender no oh i was just i was

01:05:48.640 and you know what shows good when it has me in the paint for a straight white man fighting i'm

01:05:55.380 literally going against a queer woman of color being like she's annoying and she's trying too hard

01:05:59.080 for real live long enough to see myself become the villain no literally literally i i was so balls deep

01:06:07.940 in that show too i was like this is the best i felt like an old man when i was like now that's

01:06:13.660 television that's how i felt watching every episode of the pit i was like yeah and then i became the

01:06:18.320 person that was annoying at parties where it's like you could see like like someone would bring

01:06:21.940 it up and then i'd sort of come back to like an hour and a half later and they're in a corner being

01:06:25.060 like i want to talk to someone else and i've just been talking about the pit for so long yeah i

01:06:30.200 remember when it ended i said i can't believe the pit is over and my roommate went i can't wait for

01:06:34.300 you to be normal about it well now you can be normal it's perfect yeah now i can be normal

01:06:39.740 until season two and then i'm back baby we're so fucking back yeah someone a friend of mine posted

01:06:45.060 like like tweeted like got an audition for the pit and i was like okay well i don't care i don't care

01:06:51.400 that something good happened to you it should have happened to me literally i do have some fun facts

01:06:56.380 about you oh would you like to hear some yeah but hard pivot okay well this one just says you grew

01:07:02.260 up in rural vermont which we already talked about and that you used to be a bartender at a restaurant

01:07:06.880 in new york how did you like being a bartender i loved it so i started the brunch so yeah so i

01:07:13.340 started bartending my sophomore year of college okay and i did it my i was at a pub in england because

01:07:18.580 i did my sophomore year in england and then i moved back and bartended all of college and in

01:07:21.960 college i like loved it like i it was so fun and i was like i will i would be happy to bartend the

01:07:28.880 rest of my life and like when i moved to new york i was like completely like blind like like

01:07:34.880 confidence where i was like oh i have the best of both worlds because if i bartend forever i'll

01:07:38.960 be fine but i'm gonna try to become a comedian like an actor like i was like i'm gonna go for

01:07:42.220 comedy and acting but i'm gonna bartend at the same time and like that it's fine because like if i fall

01:07:46.640 back on bartending i'm still doing a job i love right and then i realized like how hard

01:07:51.920 actually being like a full-time bartender is and like building a life and like wanting to retire

01:07:56.000 and like moving up to make because like i was making in college it was like i was making a

01:07:59.680 certain amount of money and then but i would make like 200 bucks a night and i was like in a college

01:08:03.200 town paying cash for beer and i was like one of the richest person in america yeah you know what i

01:08:07.040 mean that's what i fell as a server too yes it's the same thing and then i moved to new york and saw

01:08:11.300 like realized that people were like moving up in jobs and would get promotions and make more money

01:08:15.160 and like that and like you might need to build and realizing how expensive the world was yeah the cost of

01:08:21.180 living i was like oh fuck yeah and so then it it pivoted where i liked the act of like doing it

01:08:27.960 like i enjoyed being behind a bar i enjoy making cocktails i enjoy like socializing i really enjoyed

01:08:33.000 the rest of the bar staff and the restaurant staff like being part of like that but it very much felt

01:08:39.620 like something that i was taking my energy away from like my dreams so then it was like stressful yeah so

01:08:45.300 it had like this it was like a very fraught relationship and like a lot of my new york friends

01:08:49.620 are restaurant people still yeah so it was really hard right at the end when i was starting to

01:08:54.260 work a lot as a comedian but not necessarily make a lot of money and so i still needed to bartend but

01:08:59.340 i didn't have time where like one of my best friends who was also my manager was like hey like you have

01:09:03.760 to work a shift this week and i'd be like but i can't you like but you kind of have it's your job

01:09:07.780 and i was like and so it was like there was like a tough choice kind of being sucked out of it because

01:09:12.860 it's taking away from your dream yes but then once i got out of it now i look back on it with like a lot

01:09:16.780 of love and occasionally like my friend will be like hey like can you come bartend tonight and i'm

01:09:20.720 like yeah because like my like if someone calls out sick or something yeah i'll go like maitre

01:09:24.400 d a restaurant for a night because all my friends work in restaurants what's your what's your best

01:09:27.980 drink that you make do you have a specialty i'm i would say i can kind of make anything but um

01:09:33.920 because i did like a lot of different kinds of bartending but i would say like i do make like a

01:09:37.420 good martini because i drink them a lot so i know that's yeah i would say i've never had i've never

01:09:42.820 had like what's your drink i've i'm honestly a champagne girl like i just you and i are really

01:09:48.720 aligned because that's if i really i always say if they were like you can only have one alcohol for

01:09:53.520 the rest of your life champagne yes because it's because you it tastes good you get you get drunk

01:09:59.060 you get fucked up and then you don't feel that shitty the next day yeah some people say it does

01:10:03.640 make them feel shitty the next day i'm like not the good stuff yeah sorry yeah no i'm like i recently

01:10:10.960 too i think within the last like year i was like way after every the craze but like i was really

01:10:16.240 fucking with an aperol spritz because i fuck with the champagne yeah but i did it way after everybody

01:10:21.020 was like you gotta try this drink i'm like yeah i'll try it when everyone's done everyone's gonna

01:10:26.460 sick of it they're great try it yeah it's also funny where like drinks i always think it's funny

01:10:30.800 when like drinks get trendy because i'm like it's not like it's not like fashion where it's like right

01:10:36.920 part of you want to like look you want to be in line with like the current trends so you don't look

01:10:40.820 out of place or you're like on the trends i'm like the drink tastes the same at any time

01:10:45.880 so like what do you mean you liked it for the summer when everyone else liked it and you know

01:10:50.040 what i mean like oh i'm being so antiquated i'm getting a spicy margarita i'm like if you like

01:10:53.720 that drink it i don't really get i was like straight white girls were really on to something with that

01:10:57.600 aperol spritz yeah they were on to that shit i said this is this shit is good this shit is delicious

01:11:02.540 that shit is good it's like a grown-up shirley temple to me absolutely i'm feeling it yeah but i have

01:11:07.300 recently been wanting to try like a dirty martini because i really love vinegary kind of tastes yeah

01:11:13.420 oh you would love that so i figured i was like maybe i try that because espresso martinis aren't

01:11:17.680 my vibe we have to yes my espresso martinis are not really my vibe i've tried them many times i'm

01:11:23.680 kind of like are you a coffee person though i do love coffee i think i just don't love coffee

01:11:28.600 flavored alcohol or anything i respect that it's a little too heavy for me yeah i think you would like

01:11:34.740 a martini then because similar because they are typically even like the briny ones are like

01:11:39.260 refreshing they're like that's what i'm saying you know what i mean what are what do you what can

01:11:43.100 you tell about a certain drink are there any drinks when you're like oh yeah of course you drink that

01:11:47.720 it's more like i i would say it's less it was less like what drink you had and like how you ordered

01:11:55.820 it okay do you know what i mean yeah it's like ordering a ordering a dirty martini is not like

01:12:00.820 bad yeah and like doesn't really say much about you but someone being like give me the fucking

01:12:06.040 nastiest martini you've ever fucking made in your life is like what are you trying to prove

01:12:09.340 do you know what i mean like there's something like you could tell when someone because like

01:12:12.280 dirty martinis i think and i don't know if it happened over here but like that was like a big

01:12:15.000 thing in new york like right towards the end of my bartending and people were obsessed with being

01:12:18.320 like being like can you take a fucking shit in my martini like you know like just yeah like as many

01:12:23.660 olives as you can give me like down girl like stop you know what i mean chill or like

01:12:28.020 like like men be like just being like old-fashioned and it's like that there's like a certain like

01:12:34.180 performance to it it was more about like how you would perform the order than it was an actual drink

01:12:37.620 that's tea i like i would love so hard for like some guy walk up and be like pino grigio like you

01:12:42.600 know like that would be so like yeah you love a pino yeah i don't mind a pino yeah i don't really love

01:12:48.620 red wine i do i prefer a white i do too but i i have like an appreciation for all of it pretty much

01:12:54.740 yeah i feel like yeah i feel like red wine makes me want to shit myself so that it's hard on some

01:12:59.280 people have a hard time digesting it i don't know what that is i don't know what that is that's how

01:13:02.800 i feel about whiskey too i'm like oh i'm not yeah i'm not a big fan of pooping myself so i gotta stay

01:13:07.240 away i so respect that yeah the first time i ever threw up from drinking was from uh what was it it

01:13:13.440 was that tennessee the screwball oh no no it was like it was yeah jack the honey jack the honey one

01:13:19.960 yeah specifically i remember taking that shot and i was already super fucked up i remember taking

01:13:24.220 that shot and then thinking to myself yeah that's gonna fuck me up i gotta do something about that

01:13:28.500 i'm probably gonna have to vomit in a couple minutes so and i did there's nothing more embarrassing

01:13:33.880 than like vomiting from drinking after the age of like 27 yeah do you know what i mean at the time

01:13:39.240 thankfully i was like 20 it's only do as i say not as i do it's only happened to me like one time but i

01:13:48.000 was like no one can know about this no that's true because it's so embarrassing when i did get

01:13:53.380 like really fucked up after 27 or whatever i remember it was like a while ago i don't get drunk like

01:13:59.540 that anymore because again i pay the price but i remember i was at my fiance's parents house we got

01:14:05.800 so fucked up and then i can at home we'll sneak up on you because you're just like pouring girl i

01:14:10.900 know and we're having so much fun i remember most of the night i then i remember coming back online

01:14:15.900 and i was laying down in the downstairs half bath the one that everybody's using i just locked the

01:14:21.180 door and then his mom was knocking on the door and she's like hey are you okay and then i said i was

01:14:26.820 like yeah no i'm good me pretending like i've only been in there for a couple minutes it had probably

01:14:30.660 been like 30 and then i went offline again don't know what happened after that when i came back online

01:14:35.760 again both me and my fiance were asleep in the bed but i was under the covers he was on top of them

01:14:40.800 my shoes were on underneath the blanket and his shoes were on too no and i was like in fully in

01:14:45.880 my same clothes same makeup same shoes i i had to lay and i was like why are my boots on i'm playing

01:14:52.320 in bed what the hell happened here that's that's really tough my my last time was two or three

01:14:58.520 christmases ago i was at my family's christ my my uncle threw a christmas party love and yeah it was

01:15:03.560 cute but and i just like wasn't paying attention and just like drinking all night and then like

01:15:08.240 on that side of the family me and my sister are like older than most of the other cousins

01:15:12.620 um because and so all this and so now that like i'm 32 all of the cousins are like 21 22 but they

01:15:20.180 want so i want to be the cool cousin that like still hangs out with them so i'm like yeah i'll

01:15:24.300 play king's cup in two shots and it's like why no you were drinking wine like an adult all night

01:15:27.940 and now like they're just now starting to drink at 10 and you've been drinking and now you're gonna do

01:15:32.360 the drinking game with them so i i like blacked out playing a drinking game with 21 year olds

01:15:37.480 like absolutely slay you're you're old enough to be a senator so maybe sit down like

01:15:43.060 you can run for president not yet 35 down not yet it's all the same to them but it's like but i

01:15:51.300 apparently i fell asleep at the at the coffee table with a glass of red wine between my legs like this

01:15:55.780 and then woke up in the morning and was like i'm gonna vomit but i don't want anyone to know

01:16:03.600 and so i quietly went downstairs like they were making breakfast like every it's like also one

01:16:07.540 of those mornings where like i'm so hungover i need the hospital and everyone else is like we're

01:16:10.180 good like what like oh it was definitely me you know oh yeah girl when i if i drank like how i did

01:16:16.540 when i was 21 i would have to be 100 and the psych ward right after yeah and so i quietly like tried to

01:16:23.000 go downstairs but i was like i'm gonna vomit but i didn't want anyone to know and then i go and my

01:16:26.820 sister is in the bathroom and as so i'm waiting for her like being like you need to go out of the

01:16:30.460 bathroom but you need to go out of him and then she comes out and you know how like sometimes like

01:16:33.620 i think she was like hungover so you know when like you you and your sister like immediately are in a

01:16:37.140 fight for no reason i think i was like waiting too close to the door for her so she she opens the

01:16:42.800 door and right as she does i like start to vomit in my mouth and i'm like and she's like what and i

01:16:46.920 can't talk so i'm like and she's like don't she's like use your words and i'm like and she's like

01:16:52.260 don't wave your hand like i'm dying i'm dying i'm dying so then i start pushing her and vomiting

01:16:56.900 and she's like and then i just hear her go upstairs and she's like so jake's downstairs and he's

01:17:07.260 throwing up i was like so now everyone knows yeah so oh perfect so my whole plan went and it is

01:17:12.540 christmas day because the party's on christmas eve mind you christmas yeah mind you jesus is

01:17:19.240 upstairs waiting for me he's on mind you my mom wants to take pictures and matching pajamas

01:17:24.400 get that yeah let me see what other fun facts i have okay i forgot we were going through these

01:17:30.320 yeah it says you used to perform a live comedy show called queer therapy live oh my god that's a

01:17:35.840 blast yeah and how was that that was good there was this basically there's this venue there was

01:17:41.940 this venue that's still there but i think they've kind of pivoted away from this but there was this

01:17:44.900 venue in new york that was doing this thing where they wanted to like have all their shows be a

01:17:48.660 fusion of um um comedy and science okay absolutely right um sort of like a pre-pandemic sort of like

01:17:58.180 we like um we have like the margins to be experimental in like the environment space okay and so the premise

01:18:04.160 of the show was that i would do it was all gay performers and then there'd be like a gay i think

01:18:09.400 like mental health expert i think it was my show like a gay mental that would talk do like a presentation

01:18:14.220 on like queer like psychology okay i only did like i think four of them before the before the pandemic

01:18:21.560 hit which was probably good because um most queer psychology is sad you know what i mean it's like

01:18:27.040 the effects of like being oppressed your entire life and then i'm like okay so that was dr todd next

01:18:31.480 up drew for 20 minutes to stand up the comic would come up on the stage like they got me like bitch what

01:18:36.060 the fuck am i walking into everybody has tears in their eyes like literally they're like so it was

01:18:41.400 we were on the cusp of like a rebrand of the show and the pandemic hit but yeah it was it was me trying

01:18:45.400 some stuff out that was like that was like when i was starting to try to pivot to stand up right

01:18:49.260 before the pandemic hit okay yeah we love that though i think it's a very funny concept i say yeah

01:18:56.000 it's one of those things where like i actually now look back on the memories of telling people what

01:18:59.840 the pitch of the show was and like now i'm like oh that's what that person looks like when they lie

01:19:03.920 because they'd be like oh my god that's so that's such a fun idea and i was like yeah it is and now

01:19:10.480 i'm like that's what they look like when they lie i'm surrounded by fake friends nobody nobody told me

01:19:15.040 anything it says you were in an improv group at ucb called funky hard beats oh my god yes i was

01:19:22.300 how was that that was good those were those were some of my best friends i love all those people we

01:19:26.800 were that is a funky hard beats is a britney spears quote um she said she loves songs with funky hard

01:19:32.720 beats um uh so we called ourselves that and we were like just doing a bunch of dumb shit on stage

01:19:40.280 there was like a show called there you there's a show at ucb called cage match okay which was like

01:19:45.320 it was on thursday nights and it was like two teams would each do a set and for like 25 minutes

01:19:51.380 and then the audience votes on who won and then they get to come back the next week and do the

01:19:56.280 show and face off a new team so you could like keep doing the show as long as you kept winning

01:20:00.000 right and that was like how that team became a ucb team was we like won that a bunch but like i was

01:20:05.840 just kept dominating yeah but i was so addicted to improv at the time that i truly thought like i was

01:20:10.640 like i'm gonna get recognized on the train like i was like i'm a new york celebrity like i'm winning

01:20:14.680 cage bunch at ucb like i literally thought i was god on earth for this shit like like i would be like

01:20:20.380 we would win and i literally like should like going around the thing like let's go like just like i was

01:20:25.040 like i won an improv comedy competition humiliating like that shit real yeah yeah i was oh i was not

01:20:31.800 but everyone at ucb did back then like before the pandemic because it was kind of like a cult a little

01:20:35.560 bit it's still like it like improv just like has that quality to it i think people are so addicted

01:20:40.120 to it every one of my comedian friends has been like yeah it was a something i did take way too

01:20:46.660 seriously but it was it was that serious it was i remember one time i remember one time when i was

01:20:52.440 like really in it at ucb i was like we were like hanging out with non-ucb people it was like my

01:20:57.160 my like other friends from college and stuff and we were like at a party we were like drinking

01:21:00.180 and i was like talking to someone new like a new friend i had just made about like theory of improv

01:21:06.200 performance and my best friend overheard it and just turned and went shut the fuck up

01:21:10.600 do you think they want to hear that right now and i look the person is like drowning

01:21:16.220 they're like that's nice but i was like there's no world where someone wouldn't find this fascinating

01:21:22.880 i was like there's no world i i honestly really love that about you yeah i love how intensely you

01:21:29.720 absorb things i think that's a beautiful thing it is like when i'm it i think it's like that the

01:21:35.280 storyteller thing in me where it's like if i'm like passionate about something it's i have to talk

01:21:39.260 about it you're telling me you don't care about this yeah yeah yeah i've never been chill about

01:21:44.300 anything in my entire life it's i've never been chill about anything in my entire life and it's

01:21:49.000 true of like dating like i tried like if i get like excited about something i'm like don't go crazy

01:21:52.500 and then it's like i'm like you went crazy and then guess what i went crazy yeah and then guess

01:21:57.720 what and reader he went crazy uh it says you made vogue's list of eight funniest accounts on tiktok

01:22:04.280 yeah and they didn't tell me vogue didn't tell me and then he'll see it and then someone my mom

01:22:10.420 texted me my mom i think at one point got bored one day and so she googled me to like look at what

01:22:17.140 her son had done yeah and she was like did you know you that vogue made you top eight whatever

01:22:20.940 like three like two years ago like it was so long after i was like i was like no one told me i was

01:22:28.000 shocked that no one told me no that's a huge deal especially i know i was like i was like so excited

01:22:34.820 and i was like i would have loved to have celebrated this when it happened um it was like

01:22:39.880 and it was like thank you for seeing me but you didn't call me like it was like it's the party all

01:22:44.860 over again yeah absolutely absolutely all over again all over again and then it says you have a

01:22:50.340 new weekly podcast called walk with me here yeah on substack i do tell me about the pod um i wanted

01:22:57.020 to i so i have it on substack um which i've really really been enjoying i had i've done a few

01:23:03.500 podcasts before and they've always been fun but they've been i wanted to kind of do something a

01:23:07.300 little bit like smaller that was just like me talking directly to like people who wanted to

01:23:12.180 hear what i had to say i was getting i'm sure you can kind of relate to this i was getting really

01:23:17.100 frustrated with the algorithm and feeling like because a lot of my videos tend to be a kind of

01:23:21.520 silly stuff yeah and i was noticing like if i talked if i went too far into talking about being gay

01:23:26.180 or too far into being politics the videos would just get completely suppressed and i would still make

01:23:31.080 them i guess i wanted to talk about those things but i was like oh if if i can create if i can go

01:23:35.160 to like substack and people can subscribe to this and then like it will be sent directly to them

01:23:39.480 totally non-algorithmically no that makes a lot of that makes a lot of sense i was like i think i

01:23:43.160 want to just try that and i think that's cute what a cute ass name because that's what you always do in

01:23:47.220 your videos yeah people are walking yeah that was the idea i love that that was the idea and i thought

01:23:51.440 it would be fun and it's been really fun like it's really nice to have like like a group of people

01:23:56.520 that listen to the show and like it's growing and they and like they are sending messages and

01:24:00.840 you that people can email into the show and so it's been very fun and it's also very surreal to

01:24:05.860 like it's kind of extensive to doing the videos and stuff but it is crazy to like talk for an hour and

01:24:10.720 be like people want to hear that but like you're fucking telling me i know yeah it's like i i told

01:24:15.260 people i've said before like because one time i got a comment this was like years ago obviously i've

01:24:19.400 been doing this for fucking ever but like years ago i got a comment they were like yeah i've heard

01:24:23.960 that story before i'm like you try talking for 180 episodes bitch you're gonna start repeating

01:24:27.920 yourself it's like what do you want me to do i don't have another life to pull from and also

01:24:31.440 this person hasn't heard it so i'm gonna tell them my story no it is true i'm gonna get the laugh

01:24:36.200 regardless but i think that's beautiful and is it more of like a serious kind of tone no it's not

01:24:43.020 it's definitely or you can expand a little bit more basically things yeah it's i so i basically the

01:24:48.640 way i've been making the show is that i just have a running notes app for every week and then i sit

01:24:52.980 down on wednesday and go through the notes app of like what's happened to me that week and the

01:24:55.600 thoughts i've had and i just kind of like structure it like i'll talk about this first this first this

01:24:59.820 and then i and like if people have commented or emailed in like i'll figure out the order and then

01:25:03.620 i just kind of like talk about the things i want to talk about so it's no it's very funny it's it's

01:25:07.620 definitely comedic um but it's more able just to go long i feel you talk about whatever i want

01:25:13.440 not worry about getting censored by the algorithm totally um and tell and it's a lot more because i

01:25:19.280 love telling stories it's also like getting to tell longer stories and not doing like

01:25:23.560 story time like i don't know it feels more conversational yeah totally yeah that's well

01:25:28.680 yeah you're telling me that was another reason why i wanted to do the podcast in the first place

01:25:31.720 because i was like believe it or not i got a lot more yap in me yes believe it or not well and it's

01:25:36.320 like i think when you do tiktok you know how to make the videos that are going to do well and there's

01:25:40.900 so much that goes into that that is like not organic to how we actually are totally that i was

01:25:47.840 like i'm sure because when people probably meet you in real life they're like oh my god that's so

01:25:50.800 yeah yeah what i thought totally totally i also get a lot of people who meet me who don't know

01:25:55.060 who i am or don't know that i'm a comedian are very shocked when they find out because i'm like

01:25:58.320 not as yeah as i like am online i was in provincetown i was in provincetown at a dinner party and this

01:26:04.400 guy was we were we had been talking for like at this point like an hour and a half yeah and this guy

01:26:07.920 was like and what do you two do i was sitting with my best friend and he was like oh i manage a

01:26:11.900 restaurant and he goes and you and i go oh i'm a comedian he goes look you haven't been funny at all

01:26:15.160 oh damn okay i said well how much time do you got i got a closing 10 i said did you pay me

01:26:22.960 no shit what the fuck it's crazy well and that's also i think that speaks to like how people look

01:26:29.640 at comedy like as a whole because they're like well i could do that like the way that they look

01:26:35.400 at it even i just had homes on and homes was the funniest person ever if i could be around them

01:26:41.780 99 of the time i think my life would be homes and i will like do facetimes where we like or like

01:26:47.460 for like an hour and a half and i'll just be like walking around like it's like like i'll just be

01:26:51.220 walking around new york and she'll just like be in bed and it like it is i get off of it and i'm like

01:26:55.480 well my abs hurt from laughing i've also cried three times like it's one of those like one of the

01:27:00.380 funniest people who's ever lived but when i was talking to them they were saying i was talking to

01:27:03.960 some jazz musicians and they were saying like oh you know like we both have a lot in common like

01:27:09.200 they were just bonding with these jazz musicians at a place and then they said that uh one of the

01:27:14.480 musicians told them that it's funny because when people see me performing jazz right because they

01:27:20.000 were saying it's actually improv of music which i love improv and i was like you dork like we're

01:27:24.720 laughing about it and then they said that it's crazy though because the jazz musician noticed that

01:27:30.220 nobody would come up to me and say i could do that oh i i play jazz all the time but they will do

01:27:35.840 that for comedians right totally you know what's funny is like i've been known to tell a funny joke

01:27:40.940 or two or you get a lot of i think the one i get even more than that is like i've been thinking

01:27:45.200 about trying it out or i've always wanted to try it out you know what i mean i told home too i was

01:27:49.640 like serena bryer said when men say i i think i want to try it and then she goes why yeah why would

01:27:56.560 you want to do that why would you ever don't don't it is crazy because every once in a while the least

01:28:02.960 charismatic person i've ever met in my life has been like i've been meaning to get up on stage

01:28:06.040 but but then it is crazy but there is also i will say something you learn doing stand-up is that

01:28:15.780 there is i think most stand-ups are fun in like the especially like a lot of like the ones that we

01:28:20.280 know and hang out with yes but like you will meet actual like cyborgs backstage who will just be so

01:28:26.260 there's nothing like it is a full persona on stage that does not exist and when they get what they you

01:28:31.300 watch them like and walk out on stage and then they come off and i'm like you scare me more than

01:28:35.840 most that's very true and they'll be like thank you for having me on the show and they walk out i'd

01:28:41.700 like someone follow them like i don't know what they're gonna do but it's bad yeah like i'm nervous

01:28:48.540 yeah because i'm like i'm like i've always liked making people laugh you at one point decided to get

01:28:53.340 good at it and you weren't before and kudos to you at working hard but i don't think you should work

01:28:58.420 on it if it hasn't come natural to you for a bad reason because it's yeah because it speaks to evil

01:29:02.100 do you know what i mean i'm totally i totally know because i'm like i'm like look i wish that

01:29:08.120 sometimes i i don't actually wish this but it's like i'm like my personality is so obnoxious i kind

01:29:13.460 of had to make it my career fucking same do you know what i mean yes and there are days where i'm

01:29:17.660 like wow what would it be like to have a career that isn't completely wrapped up in my personality

01:29:21.900 and identity do you know what i mean yes like that could be amazing yes absolutely but i didn't

01:29:29.520 have a choice no me too and i'm like when people have a choice i'm like you don't have to make this

01:29:34.540 choice like you can just go do the normal thing go be a dentist yes that's your path go be a dentist

01:29:39.440 we need we need more dentists in the world well because i also think i think i think a thing i'm

01:29:44.580 thinking about so much now is like so much of when when we were little kids is they would they talk to

01:29:49.300 you about like what do you want to be when you grow up as like being a dentist will be your

01:29:53.140 monolithic existence right or like being like and it's like you know your profession makes up who

01:29:57.620 you are yeah yeah and then you get older and you find out like everyone's just trying to make

01:30:01.760 money to go out to eat at the end of the night get drinks with their friends and go on vacation

01:30:05.060 yeah exactly and then when you're a gay guy it's like everyone has a job that seems like kind of

01:30:09.800 fake but they're all making two hundred thousand dollars a year and doing it and i'm like i'm like i could

01:30:15.520 have done that like now you know what i mean it's like i love my career i love my job yeah but it's

01:30:22.020 like i have to constantly be working at it and i kind of have to constantly like and if i fail it's

01:30:26.500 not like oh i got fired from this job it's like jake cornell failed i mean it's like it's like it's

01:30:31.700 like it's like a shark swimming thing if sharks stop swimming they'll die yeah it's sort of like

01:30:35.440 that absolutely where where it's like wow like when people are like when people like when people post

01:30:41.340 like the instagram story of like slams laptop till monday i'm like i don't it turns off my my brain

01:30:46.040 till monday like turns off my existence yeah i don't have that yeah unfortunately i'm plugging

01:30:50.660 away all the time i didn't realize that other it's like oh wait we all go on vacations okay yeah no for

01:30:55.620 real no constantly i feel like and also too it's like high risk high reward yes right so like the

01:31:03.280 greatest things you could ever think of like dream job really long way to fall if it doesn't work out

01:31:08.040 well that's the thing and it is and i will never claim my job is harder in terms of the day-to-day

01:31:13.400 work than like anyone who's 95 i will never like i understand the perks of my job but the way that it

01:31:18.540 is exists in every moment of my life it is it's an exchange uniquely hard yeah and i've said i've said

01:31:24.980 that too i was like i would never say this is the hardest job in the world it's just not yeah i would

01:31:28.480 never say this is the hardest job in the world i've always said this job comes with a very specific

01:31:34.400 set of problems that you would never encounter in any other job you've had no matter how many times

01:31:39.240 you've had them like you could have had a hundred jobs if it wasn't this one all the problems you

01:31:43.680 come across you're not going to know how to deal with because there's no one to ask yeah and then

01:31:48.080 the only way to get through it is to get through it and then to make friends who are also doing it

01:31:52.820 and talk shit about it that's the only way it's also one of the ones where it's also like if you

01:31:57.540 were to quit tomorrow when you went out to the restaurant the next day you would still be drew off

01:32:02.240 wall you know what i mean and people would recognize you absolutely and you have to deal

01:32:06.820 with that so it's like it's also i'm like pushing into a crisis but it's like it's like it is irrevocable

01:32:11.880 like we also did something that's like a little irrevocable no it's true i made my peace with i

01:32:15.380 signed that contract with the devil a long time ago that's why i was like i made peace with it a while

01:32:19.640 ago yeah but that doesn't mean that we can't talk shit about it no absolutely even if anything when

01:32:25.700 you were saying i'm way too obnoxious to have done anything else fucking same yeah i was telling my

01:32:30.240 friend the other day this unbelievably ridiculous story that happened to my family the most insane

01:32:34.720 things happened to me and my family always my entire life like and to the point where the other

01:32:40.180 day i told my sister if we didn't have a witness at certain points in our life people would think

01:32:44.340 i'm just a pathological liar because and i was telling my fiancee when i was telling that story i was

01:32:48.780 like what's crazy is that i think that cosmic balance gave me this job because there's nothing else i

01:32:55.680 could fucking do like with all of this all of this shit happening to me i needed to put it somewhere

01:33:00.020 i needed to channel that into something yeah and then turned out it was being hilarious yeah

01:33:04.580 that's the other thing is like it's like it is like i'm i'll i'll tell myself like it's so crazy

01:33:12.720 that i like this is the career path i pursued but then i'm also like but i did it it is my job now like

01:33:17.660 it is my job now yeah and it is shocking like it is like it's like oh i i did like i i'm like dunking

01:33:23.560 on the younger version of me for going after this thing but clearly he was smart because it worked

01:33:27.000 same like i still have more i want to achieve and more i want to grow towards totally but like it's

01:33:30.820 not failing no absolutely no absolutely not but it's like you you're it's funny to write that off

01:33:37.240 in a certain way yeah and i think that well first of all i think that means it makes it obvious you're

01:33:41.860 a good person because you're feeling great grateful for it like you're still walking gratitude about

01:33:46.260 it which i i do the same thing because i would never want to do anything else nothing is more

01:33:50.680 miserable than being around people who are super successful and are not and are like complaining

01:33:54.160 about it have you ever been at those parties yes of course that is truly i would rather be around

01:33:59.640 straight people do you know i mean my favorite thing to do is when my friends and i if we were

01:34:04.800 like can i just bitch oh yeah bitch about the most ridiculous like problems that no one would

01:34:09.440 ever understand and then at the end we're always like this is a fucking made-up job what am i

01:34:14.340 complaining about it's almost like i talk myself out of it like yeah yeah go around to end up

01:34:18.400 right back where i was which is like i need to shut up no yeah you get back to it and you're

01:34:22.080 like this is actually fine yeah and i need to be i need to be quiet because i'm dumb yes a hundred

01:34:27.420 percent but i think you are fucking hilarious and i'm so grateful that you came on the show i'm so

01:34:32.720 happy to be here i would love to ask you if you have any advice for any because we just talked about

01:34:37.060 how hard you worked to get to where you are now and you're doing amazing now which i'm very grateful

01:34:41.120 for thank you for the internet to have exposure to you in that way but i would love to know if you

01:34:46.260 have any advice for any aspiring comedians stand-ups like anyone who wants to pursue this art form like

01:34:52.820 if you have any advice for them uh yeah i was thinking about this i was watching i was watching

01:34:58.520 um lena dunham's interview on girls we watch podcast that just came out on the flight over here today

01:35:04.100 and i was thinking about how like she put out so much work from such a young age and i didn't do that

01:35:10.600 and i was so afraid of if i put something bad out people would like write me off and i'd never be

01:35:16.780 able to like recover from the bad thing right and it's like the life is long and time moves on and

01:35:23.440 you can and like and you just try just try like just try it wasn't until like when i finally started

01:35:31.100 making stuff my career started changing my life started changing like it was like and i waited a

01:35:35.700 little bit longer than i wish i had to do that so it's like just make some videos like make some

01:35:41.200 videos go try stand-up like especially when you're young and like and be receptive to like what's

01:35:49.500 actually happening don't go in it with like don't be like the delusional person who's like

01:35:54.100 fuck them they didn't laugh it's not them like yeah be open to being bad at something and then get good

01:36:00.180 at it yeah it's like failing faster yes it's like fail faster so that you can succeed faster yes it's

01:36:05.340 like getting it out of the way and also it should always also kind of be about making friends

01:36:11.900 because that's also going to lead to your success totally like if you're when you're at shows when

01:36:16.780 you're working on collaborating with people it's not just about the product for me at least it's

01:36:21.420 about like building relations people becoming friends with people because one a job is only

01:36:26.080 worth having in my mind a career and a job is only worth having if you're enjoying doing it which is

01:36:30.040 like why i do this and it's because i get to like like we're at work right now i'm hanging out with

01:36:34.680 you do you know what i mean it's like yeah exactly so treat people very well and oh this is a huge

01:36:39.480 piece of advice i will say this now after doing this for 10 years you never know where someone's

01:36:46.040 going to end up like the assistant that was like on a shoot when like seven years ago is going to be

01:36:51.140 a director in 10 years that's tea so you need to be nice to everyone and you shouldn't be nice to

01:36:55.600 them because they might be a director in 10 years no but like if you're ever catching yourself like

01:36:59.660 being short or get be like you need to watch it because people fucking remember shit that's so tea

01:37:04.040 especially people in this industry yes that are not talent like if they work uh as a producer a pa

01:37:10.440 an assistant a hundred percent makeup hair styling anyone anyone that works on these sets they do

01:37:17.640 remember and do you know why we know because they tell us now exactly that's my favorite question to

01:37:22.920 ask my favorite you sit down in the chair so who's that yeah my favorite question to ask is literally

01:37:27.440 like you've worked with anyone that's that sucked ass i'm like yeah they're always like oh yeah oh yeah

01:37:33.060 i ask makeup artists i ask hair stylists i ask it's like i literally ask anybody yeah i'm like

01:37:38.600 and what's your tea girl yeah what's going on who do you who do we hate who do we love and you're

01:37:43.300 like oh they signed an nda well we can whisper bitch like i don't like it's like and here's mine

01:37:47.660 signing it for you yeah so treat people well i think it's also i love that and i think you're

01:37:53.020 incredible and so fucking funny i think you are fucking incredible thank you i'm so glad you came out

01:37:57.900 i'm so glad the cruise brought you here i'm so glad the cruise brought you to the shores it took

01:38:03.140 so long to get around south america but you're here so for those who don't know for whatever

01:38:09.280 fucking reason and haven't haven't know where to find you where can everybody find you uh you can

01:38:13.540 follow me on tiktok or instagram at jake w cornell and on substack uh you can search jake cornell or

01:38:18.820 walk with me here is the name of my show beautiful thank you so much the amazing jake cornell for

01:38:24.060 joining us on this episode of the comment section thank you so much for coming you're fucking awesome

01:38:27.240 you're fucking i love you i'm obsessed with you and thank you all so much for joining us on this

01:38:30.740 episode don't forget new episodes of the comment section drop every wednesday you can stream the

01:38:34.460 audio on all streaming platforms but the video lives for free and exclusively on our favorite

01:38:37.760 platform spotify thank you so much to our amazing guest jay cornell thank you so much for watching

01:38:42.060 and i'll see you next week bye

I WANT TO BE BABYGIRL Ft. Jake Cornell ｜ Episode 180

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