The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - SO YOU’RE TYPE A？ Ft. Alli Bellairs

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00:00:59.960 You know when people are like, your partner should not go through your phone? I'm like,

00:01:02.820 I hope the fuck she does. Because I made a lot of plans, and I have no idea when any of them are.

00:01:15.160 Hey everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Comment Section Show, starring me,

00:01:19.280 your fave, everybody who knows me, who cares about me. On to the guests. Today we have the iconic,

00:01:23.620 the legendary, the absolutely hilarious, Allie Belairz. Woo!

00:01:28.580 Thanks for having me. Oh my god, thank you for coming.

00:01:31.000 Honored. And you are so tall.

00:01:32.860 Thank you for saying that. Allie wanted me to tell everyone that.

00:01:34.680 Nobody's talking about that nearly enough.

00:01:36.400 Nobody wants to talk about how tall you are.

00:01:38.340 They hate to see it.

00:01:39.040 They hate to see a bad bitch winning.

00:01:40.960 Right.

00:01:41.260 They hate to see a tall bad bitch, trust me, I know.

00:01:43.160 Well, thank you so much for coming to the show. I'm excited to have you.

00:01:47.240 I'm so excited to be here. Watching you. I've been a fan. I noticed that I did send you a DM in

00:01:52.600 2022, I think. So I've been on the U train.

00:01:55.600 You did where?

00:01:56.620 I've been waiting for you to get on the me train.

00:01:59.860 Maybe I was nervous.

00:02:00.860 You're right.

00:02:01.260 Maybe I was playing hard to get.

00:02:02.340 Right. Well, now we're here.

00:02:04.040 A real game of cat and mouse you and I have been playing.

00:02:06.200 Which one am I?

00:02:07.260 I think we'd switch. Reverse. Both of us.

00:02:09.740 Oh!

00:02:10.980 You know the terms.

00:02:11.900 Yeah, of course I do.

00:02:13.420 I'm like, I'm as close as you can get without actually being there.

00:02:16.240 One of my friends called me gay adjacent.

00:02:18.820 So I just run parallel to them.

00:02:20.320 Right, right. You're on the plane.

00:02:21.440 Yeah.

00:02:21.840 You're on the plane.

00:02:22.420 Yeah, I even talked, I told my friend Holmes recently on the show that I posted a cut down

00:02:27.420 making fun of straight people.

00:02:28.740 Right.

00:02:29.080 With good children.

00:02:30.420 I don't know if you're familiar with Joan Andrew.

00:02:32.260 No, no, no.

00:02:32.620 Oh, yes, of course I am.

00:02:33.860 Yes, Joan Andrew, yeah.

00:02:34.540 Well, I was talking to Joan Andrew and I was making fun of straight people.

00:02:37.860 And I was making fun of them because I was saying like,

00:02:40.000 talking to only and exclusively straight people can be exhausting and boring.

00:02:44.620 And someone had commented like, yeah, let me just list the 40, like the restaurants all

00:02:49.580 I've been to my entire life for 45 minutes.

00:02:51.680 I am exhausted.

00:02:53.000 Which is so funny.

00:02:54.520 It's just, sometimes when I listen to straight people, it's just fact, fact, fact, fact, fact.

00:02:58.720 No, no opinion.

00:03:00.020 Just like, this exists.

00:03:01.520 Yeah.

00:03:01.840 It feels like when you're talking to like a mom and then they're like, you know who died?

00:03:07.040 No, I didn't know that.

00:03:08.200 And don't bring it up that way.

00:03:10.640 Also, not now.

00:03:11.960 Yeah.

00:03:12.540 Now's not the time.

00:03:13.700 But when I was talking about that, I did have quite a few people going, aren't you straight?

00:03:17.680 Yes.

00:03:18.200 Which is why I can, I can make fun of them.

00:03:19.960 Adjacent.

00:03:20.520 Yes.

00:03:20.840 This episode of the comment section is presented by Amazon.

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00:03:47.240 Save on college, save the everyday.

00:03:49.420 Adjacent.

00:03:49.860 Straight adjacent.

00:03:50.380 I had somebody tell me the other day, I saw this post, and they said that lesbian women

00:03:55.680 need the relationship that straight women have with gay men.

00:04:00.260 Like, we need to have that with straight men.

00:04:02.600 Sign me up for a war.

00:04:04.620 Pick me anywhere else.

00:04:07.580 I disagree.

00:04:08.840 Women are still with men, and somehow we get put with men now.

00:04:12.960 They're like, well, you guys have a lot in common.

00:04:15.140 You go over there.

00:04:15.820 Uh-uh.

00:04:16.320 Nothing.

00:04:16.640 No, I think men need less friends and more time out.

00:04:20.380 I think they need to be putting time out.

00:04:22.240 In a corner.

00:04:22.940 Yeah.

00:04:23.140 A lot more.

00:04:24.180 Just go stand there, think about your decisions, think about your choices.

00:04:28.000 There's, they say male loneliness.

00:04:30.400 Right.

00:04:30.740 I'm like, there's not enough of it.

00:04:32.200 Yeah.

00:04:33.000 We need a lot more seclusion, and we need a few islands.

00:04:36.220 That's like that joke.

00:04:37.280 I saw a meme where it said, men suffer in silence, in quotes.

00:04:40.740 And then it said, then why am I always hearing about it?

00:04:43.100 Which I, that's one of those jokes where I'm like, fuck, I should have made fun of, I should

00:04:46.580 have made that one.

00:04:47.120 And also, when?

00:04:47.840 It's right in front of me.

00:04:48.460 About what?

00:04:49.080 What are they going through?

00:04:50.580 Tell me one thing, ever.

00:04:52.120 I did see a TikTok recently where a girl was saying, like, it's crazy, like, thinking

00:04:56.160 about, you know, misandry as a whole, or like the red pill movement, like them saying

00:05:00.920 misandry, calling women misandrys, because men of all races and all backgrounds have been

00:05:06.120 enslaving and raping and killing women for hundreds of thousands of years, like literally

00:05:11.880 across time.

00:05:12.880 But sometimes women can be mean.

00:05:16.020 Right.

00:05:16.260 I posted, I posted, I said, the men are terrible, and like the worst man, you know, has done

00:05:23.800 the most heinous crimes ever.

00:05:25.580 Right.

00:05:25.740 And I posted, I said, and the worst thing a woman can be is a nurse.

00:05:28.960 She's like a little bit mean.

00:05:30.240 And the nurses, the nurses came at me and they were like, we're healthcare heroes.

00:05:33.920 I was in nursing school.

00:05:35.040 So I'm like, I know.

00:05:35.980 I know that.

00:05:36.520 But what I'm saying is they rape and murder, and we're a little mean sometimes.

00:05:41.260 A little rude.

00:05:42.460 Yeah.

00:05:42.980 We don't put the napkin on our lap.

00:05:44.480 That's the greatest offense we could commit, is being me.

00:05:47.260 Trust me.

00:05:47.740 I know.

00:05:48.160 I hear about it all the goddamn time.

00:05:49.800 Yeah.

00:05:50.020 Criminal.

00:05:51.080 God.

00:05:51.520 Every time.

00:05:52.260 Every fucking time.

00:05:53.100 I've even said recently, like, those like moving posters in Harry Potter.

00:05:56.900 Fuck Harry Potter.

00:05:57.440 But like those moving posters things, like the one with Sirius Black when he's screaming,

00:06:01.160 those are of me on Reddit.

00:06:03.320 Right.

00:06:03.780 Like they're talking about me and I'm going, ah, ah, gooning.

00:06:07.560 They give you such a hard time.

00:06:08.640 You know what I love about you?

00:06:10.220 Decentered men.

00:06:11.300 Thank you.

00:06:11.480 You can be in a relationship.

00:06:12.600 You still have de-centered this hierarchy of just like, men are great.

00:06:16.520 You're like, well, I don't know.

00:06:18.220 Well, and you know what?

00:06:19.360 Obviously, my sister's a lesbian.

00:06:21.520 And we know.

00:06:22.460 Congratulations.

00:06:23.340 Let's give it up for her.

00:06:24.240 We got one.

00:06:25.360 Yes.

00:06:25.820 Thank God.

00:06:26.920 And I find like the lesbian perspective of men so fascinating because they don't give

00:06:32.400 a fuck about men at all.

00:06:33.880 Like literally, you could never see one and it would be the best day of their life.

00:06:36.700 And too soon.

00:06:37.960 Like you never saw one ever again.

00:06:40.100 You don't need.

00:06:40.620 I think you realize how much you don't need them.

00:06:42.520 Right.

00:06:42.980 That's what I'm saying.

00:06:43.900 Like, and I, that's why I'm saying like de-centering men is actually very possible for anyone,

00:06:48.740 regardless of how you identify.

00:06:50.180 Lesbians have been doing it for years.

00:06:51.240 Right.

00:06:51.620 Like they, they, they truly never want to see them ever again.

00:06:54.600 And I admire that.

00:06:55.740 We have a whole group of lesbians who are fixing cars.

00:06:58.120 Because he said, listen, we, we're not going there anymore.

00:07:01.840 These prices are insane.

00:07:02.920 We're not doing it anymore.

00:07:03.740 Yeah.

00:07:03.920 And I have like so many lesbians on my team and that's why shit gets done.

00:07:07.740 Right.

00:07:08.240 Shit gets fucking done on my team.

00:07:10.160 That's why.

00:07:10.740 Who is the NFL player who has an all female team?

00:07:14.760 Oh, Jalen Hurts.

00:07:15.580 Yeah.

00:07:15.880 He's a quarterback for the Eagles.

00:07:17.020 Skin looks flawless.

00:07:18.460 Okay.

00:07:19.000 All women.

00:07:19.800 Yeah, exactly.

00:07:20.620 I know shit's going to get done.

00:07:22.200 Of course.

00:07:22.760 I know that.

00:07:23.080 I can trust it.

00:07:23.960 With women, we have everything.

00:07:25.520 Exactly.

00:07:26.120 And I was, I just was laughing about this in the car with my sister.

00:07:29.060 Cause I was talking about, do you know, the summer I turned pretty.

00:07:31.680 Have you watched that show?

00:07:32.580 Oh, I'm rewatching it right now.

00:07:34.840 I'm rewatching it.

00:07:35.980 Oh my God.

00:07:36.400 I love it.

00:07:36.680 Have you watched the new season?

00:07:37.700 Yeah.

00:07:37.920 Oh, of course.

00:07:38.460 I'm rewatching it to figure out how the hell anybody's team Jeremiah.

00:07:42.580 What the fuck?

00:07:43.460 Are you serious?

00:07:44.000 Hold on.

00:07:44.680 Don't even get me started.

00:07:45.600 Cause then that's the whole episode.

00:07:46.700 That's all I'm going to talk about.

00:07:47.740 Okay.

00:07:48.060 So I am team Jeremiah.

00:07:49.280 This is me being honest.

00:07:50.860 This is me with a gun.

00:07:52.460 I'm towing that line for my team.

00:07:58.220 Jeremiah girls.

00:07:58.840 I'm towing the line.

00:08:00.100 They will not move me.

00:08:01.360 You know what it is.

00:08:02.360 Because you love a bisexual.

00:08:04.280 You're like, wait.

00:08:06.200 I'm rooting for gays no matter what.

00:08:08.420 There's no chemistry, but you're like, he's bisexual.

00:08:11.320 A straight guy with a, who's a doctor.

00:08:12.980 Yeah.

00:08:13.240 Get out of here.

00:08:14.200 Hate crime waiting to happen.

00:08:15.920 The privilege.

00:08:16.700 I said, femicide.

00:08:17.820 I know it.

00:08:18.400 I know you're driving that shit.

00:08:19.640 He's going to be a doctor.

00:08:22.540 Cause his mom died of cancer.

00:08:24.360 And that's important context that we're not factoring.

00:08:28.260 And you know, what's funny is like, I was literally like, I'm not even, I'm getting all

00:08:33.100 twisted up in my words.

00:08:34.080 Cause I'm getting passionate.

00:08:35.040 I was like raging about it to my sister because I do think they made Jeremiah so fucking corny

00:08:39.760 this season.

00:08:40.980 I said, they nerfed him bad.

00:08:43.300 They're like, you're going to hate this guy.

00:08:44.420 You're going to hate this guy, which the propaganda will not work on me.

00:08:47.380 They're like, look, he's fun.

00:08:48.400 He's singing along in the car.

00:08:51.060 He's like, got the lyrics pulled up.

00:08:53.920 I'm like, yeah.

00:08:54.680 Yeah.

00:08:54.860 Meanwhile, minutes before he gets yelled at by his dad on the phone.

00:08:58.260 Yeah.

00:08:58.600 On speakerphone.

00:08:59.460 Also.

00:09:00.100 In front of my bitch.

00:09:01.420 Right.

00:09:02.180 Okay.

00:09:03.160 She's drying up.

00:09:06.220 Dad, you're killing my fucking game.

00:09:08.120 And his Jeep Wrangler.

00:09:09.160 I'm like, this is.

00:09:10.860 It's too gay.

00:09:11.960 They took all the stereotypes.

00:09:13.340 They're like, he's singing Maroon 5.

00:09:16.360 Fuck off.

00:09:18.080 And you know what?

00:09:18.980 When I was watching it, I was literally telling my sister, I was like, they've made him so

00:09:23.720 gross.

00:09:24.620 I said, making him a dirtbag cheater.

00:09:26.300 That's one thing.

00:09:27.260 Making him cornball city.

00:09:29.060 I'm pissed off.

00:09:29.920 I was like, why would you do that to my guy?

00:09:31.600 He's so fucking corny now.

00:09:32.660 And I said, now he's like this gross douchey, like just straight dude.

00:09:37.000 And I said, he's this guy in pictures.

00:09:40.260 Do you know the guy I'm talking about?

00:09:43.340 And my sister immediately goes, don't ever do that again.

00:09:45.980 And then I go, I'm not doing it.

00:09:47.720 I'm telling you, that's the guy.

00:09:49.560 I need that freeze frame.

00:09:51.780 I need that freeze frame.

00:09:52.940 My background right now.

00:09:54.020 You doing that.

00:09:54.700 Hello?

00:09:55.320 And I was laughing because I was like, you know, that guy, like in the pictures, they're

00:09:58.240 like, do a silly face.

00:09:59.860 And then that's what they do.

00:10:01.460 And there's hands on his knees and sticks his butt out.

00:10:05.200 And there's kids here.

00:10:06.880 Like, I just think you're that guy.

00:10:08.640 And that's how I see every straight guy.

00:10:10.420 Okay.

00:10:10.780 And not to dive into it because we're here now and I'm in the deep end and I'm drowning.

00:10:15.900 Let's.

00:10:16.280 But they also said, he was like, oh, I just sat in the bathroom and cried for 12 hours.

00:10:21.160 And then, and the homin looked at me and she goes, but he cheated twice.

00:10:24.780 Right.

00:10:26.340 So you like, you fucked and then you cried and then you fucked again.

00:10:30.100 And then I had to get one more and then I, maybe I'll cry after that.

00:10:33.200 Right.

00:10:34.480 No, when she walked in and found out he wasn't going to graduate and he was all curled up

00:10:37.660 like that.

00:10:38.040 I said, ick.

00:10:40.140 Ick.

00:10:40.860 Get it together.

00:10:42.120 God damn it.

00:10:42.700 Pull yourself together.

00:10:43.620 He's got a rich family.

00:10:44.900 It's like, just get it.

00:10:47.080 Sorry.

00:10:47.360 I want to have fun.

00:10:48.560 Dad.

00:10:49.020 Dad.

00:10:49.240 I was partying too hard.

00:10:50.940 It's like you're, you spend every summer in New York, New York.

00:10:54.780 Right.

00:10:55.140 No, North Carolina, I think.

00:10:56.800 Cousins.

00:10:58.400 Massachusetts.

00:10:59.520 Everybody.

00:10:59.880 We don't even know.

00:11:00.420 We haven't even seen the show.

00:11:01.420 I'm on the crowd.

00:11:02.200 We have no idea.

00:11:03.340 Right.

00:11:04.120 We're for the bisexual though.

00:11:06.300 That's what I'm saying.

00:11:08.180 I'm rooting for y'all.

00:11:09.080 I'm rooting for the gays constantly.

00:11:11.000 I think an important part of that is being gay culture is knowing that sometimes we don't

00:11:16.020 root for all gays.

00:11:17.280 You know, like sometimes it's like, well, he's still missing.

00:11:19.500 It's my favorite part of media, like watching media from like the early days is we got to

00:11:24.600 pick who was gay.

00:11:25.880 Nobody told us, you know, just like Anna Kendrick is acting pretty frisky.

00:11:32.060 That bitch is gay.

00:11:33.340 Right.

00:11:33.540 And I got to tell people, but now they're telling me and I'm like, nah, not just sure.

00:11:38.440 I'll take this back to the council, but it's not looking good.

00:11:40.800 Right.

00:11:41.000 I don't think you're going to get approved.

00:11:42.360 Like in Sex and the City.

00:11:43.600 Yeah.

00:11:44.060 When they went back in the day in the 2000s or whatever, whenever it came out, we got

00:11:48.660 to decide which of the four were gay.

00:11:50.480 Right.

00:11:50.960 And now they're like, it's Miranda.

00:11:52.180 And I'm like, well, it doesn't have to be the redhead always.

00:11:55.920 With the short hair.

00:11:56.900 Right.

00:11:57.020 It doesn't have to be her always.

00:11:57.980 God forbid she's a lawyer.

00:11:59.060 She can be a powerful woman.

00:12:02.420 They're like, well, she can't be that good at her job and not gay.

00:12:05.200 So obviously you got to make her gay.

00:12:06.600 Right.

00:12:07.040 Corny.

00:12:08.620 I think that's so funny that you watch that show.

00:12:10.880 I feel very seen by you.

00:12:12.060 I watched like anything that's like you would not expect, like reality TV.

00:12:16.680 You a big reality TV fan?

00:12:18.220 Huge.

00:12:18.640 Did you watch Love Island?

00:12:19.740 Of course I did.

00:12:20.540 I didn't, but I did.

00:12:21.860 I felt like it was being shoved on me.

00:12:24.060 Right.

00:12:24.200 I felt like I was being beat over the fucking head with it.

00:12:26.700 That's how they take gay people.

00:12:28.600 Christians take gay people.

00:12:29.640 They're like, it's everywhere.

00:12:31.820 It's in the bathroom.

00:12:33.120 It's on our television.

00:12:35.040 Me to Love Island.

00:12:36.000 I'm like, I don't care what you do behind closed doors.

00:12:37.660 I just don't want to see it.

00:12:38.560 Don't do it in front of the kids.

00:12:40.040 Also, the way they sleep in Love Island.

00:12:41.940 I like describe them to my sister.

00:12:43.700 I was like, those are like army barracks.

00:12:45.640 Like, you're just next to each other like that.

00:12:47.440 Dorms.

00:12:47.560 You guys get up at dawn when you hear the trumpet?

00:12:49.720 Yeah.

00:12:50.140 Is that what you guys are doing?

00:12:51.120 They put the sunglasses on.

00:12:52.580 Like, what is the lighting in there?

00:12:55.400 I don't know.

00:12:56.700 It's so strange.

00:12:57.440 Also, I think making me have my belly out the whole time, you're crazy.

00:13:02.820 No swimming.

00:13:03.540 No, no swim shirt.

00:13:04.820 Right.

00:13:05.320 I don't get to put a big t-shirt on once.

00:13:07.300 And the heels too.

00:13:08.120 I think about the heels always.

00:13:09.640 Yeah, you're crazy.

00:13:11.160 Those toes are clenched up.

00:13:13.120 By day three, they're like crawling.

00:13:15.260 Yeah.

00:13:15.560 And my belly's out.

00:13:16.680 That's so fucked up.

00:13:17.660 What's your favorite reality show as of right now?

00:13:20.020 Right now.

00:13:21.160 Oh my gosh.

00:13:21.740 You know what I'm watching?

00:13:22.700 The old school episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker.

00:13:26.780 Like LA old school.

00:13:28.040 I actually, what's her name?

00:13:29.360 The host?

00:13:30.440 Patty?

00:13:31.100 Yeah, I met her at the premiere of Materialist.

00:13:34.640 I interviewed her.

00:13:36.180 I interviewed her and she was very nice, but she was very like, I love a movie about matchmaking.

00:13:42.420 It is a business.

00:13:43.200 I was like, right, right.

00:13:44.560 She's like, it's her job and her personal job.

00:13:46.940 She's like, it's everything to me.

00:13:49.300 I wake up.

00:13:50.340 I think about it.

00:13:52.460 That's how she talks too.

00:13:54.280 That's true.

00:13:55.060 You know, because you go through these phases when we're online that I think you've had to take some breaks too.

00:13:59.980 That you're just like, this is like all a little too much.

00:14:02.820 I feel like everything I say, somebody, you know, you say like, in this recipe, we're going to use eggs.

00:14:07.300 And somebody's like, well, I'm allergic.

00:14:08.720 Yeah.

00:14:08.960 And you knew that.

00:14:10.000 And that's fucked up.

00:14:10.900 And I'm like, well, don't do the recipe.

00:14:12.340 But like, so sometimes I like to watch like the old school stuff because they say the most wild shit.

00:14:24.660 Oh my God.

00:14:25.820 Like how he hates gingers in it.

00:14:27.380 She like, the guy's like, oh, I'm into redheads.

00:14:29.840 And she's like, disgusting.

00:14:32.560 She's got a lot to say about it.

00:14:33.960 She puts like the girls together and it's like all blonde girls.

00:14:36.840 And she's like, pick one.

00:14:38.000 And he's like, no, I like redheads.

00:14:39.240 And she's like, ugh.

00:14:40.160 And she's like, um, well, kill yourself.

00:14:43.420 She's like, what would you like about them?

00:14:45.360 Yeah.

00:14:45.580 She's like, ew, gross.

00:14:47.320 On live television.

00:14:48.400 Ugly.

00:14:48.820 Yeah.

00:14:49.080 And she's like, it's just like, it's like watching, um, what is the modeling show from back in the night?

00:14:54.240 Oh, America's Next Top Model.

00:14:55.340 It's like, sometimes you just got to go back and watch.

00:14:57.300 Oh my God.

00:14:57.880 I know.

00:14:58.640 There was like, I remember, cause my sister and I used to love that show too.

00:15:01.380 I remember there was a photo shoot theme where they switched races.

00:15:05.680 Actually, they literally made like white girls, like African.

00:15:09.080 They like tan their skin way too dark.

00:15:11.080 They like put them in wigs, like shit like that.

00:15:13.220 I was like, this is the worst thing.

00:15:15.840 Who approved it?

00:15:16.720 Just blindly approve.

00:15:17.640 We watched, I rewatched, um, or I tried rewatching Vampire Diaries recently.

00:15:22.760 Cause I loved that show back in the day.

00:15:24.280 I was trying to make my man watch it with me.

00:15:26.080 And like the very first episode when she walks into the school for the first time, Bonnie says literally a transphobic slur.

00:15:33.460 But she's like describing herself.

00:15:35.480 And then she just says that.

00:15:36.680 And I was like, oh, oh, this fucking show.

00:15:39.980 Oh my God.

00:15:41.040 This is on the CW.

00:15:42.200 Yeah.

00:15:42.520 Sometimes with those shows, you like just have to keep it at.

00:15:44.760 We watched it when I was 16.

00:15:46.000 Yeah, they're like, oh, so I can't go that far back.

00:15:48.500 It like ruins the magic.

00:15:49.940 I agree.

00:15:50.460 And also speaking of reality and like reality TV specifically and what it used to be like back in the day.

00:15:55.200 I was just telling my man the other day that they could never recreate something like Jersey Shore.

00:16:00.580 No.

00:16:01.100 Like the, the OG Jersey Shore.

00:16:03.280 Like I never really cared for reality TV, but I loved Jersey Shore.

00:16:07.740 People are too aware now.

00:16:09.400 I agree.

00:16:10.020 You know, there's too much to be like one after in their mind.

00:16:13.400 I feel like being an influencer or being famous online is like something you could incentivize to win this time.

00:16:18.280 But like back then they just had cameras in a dream.

00:16:21.200 They went to the show and they were paid no money.

00:16:23.740 They just said, fuck it.

00:16:24.900 They were like free summer at the fucking shore.

00:16:26.980 Right.

00:16:27.320 I'm in.

00:16:27.900 Selling t-shirts by the shore.

00:16:30.740 Hell yeah.

00:16:31.320 And they literally were just fucked up all the time and working and then cameras in the house.

00:16:34.900 That's it.

00:16:35.280 Right.

00:16:35.600 And I was like, God, they could never recreate this.

00:16:38.420 And like everybody on staff had to be chill too.

00:16:40.820 Like nobody could go, nobody could go to HR.

00:16:43.060 Yeah.

00:16:43.420 Like literally ever.

00:16:44.240 Cause then you're all going down.

00:16:45.660 Yeah.

00:16:45.900 At that point.

00:16:46.500 You couldn't be like, I saw some pretty inappropriate stuff.

00:16:48.920 You just had to sit there and film and play.

00:16:50.620 I know my sister told me that she was telling you to watch The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

00:16:55.420 And did.

00:16:56.100 And did you like it?

00:16:57.520 You know, I'm fascinated by straight people.

00:17:02.520 I am.

00:17:03.000 You mean both, honestly.

00:17:04.380 I mean, sometimes when I watch the dynamics, I'm just like, this works for some people.

00:17:09.900 And I never thought of it this way.

00:17:12.720 I had about, you know, my boundaries are a little bit different.

00:17:15.820 Yeah, they are.

00:17:16.640 They're vastly different.

00:17:17.940 But you know what's fun is they know.

00:17:19.700 Like they know, they know.

00:17:21.600 They're doing what they need to do.

00:17:23.620 That's very true.

00:17:24.640 And I love that.

00:17:25.280 And I've joked about that with days.

00:17:26.560 Cause I'm like, I couldn't relate less to these women.

00:17:28.940 Like when I watch shit like that, I don't know any of their names.

00:17:31.980 I do know that many of them follow me in our fans mind, which I was like, I need to.

00:17:36.140 Period.

00:17:36.860 But honestly, bitchy white girls love me.

00:17:38.700 Right.

00:17:39.380 A bitchy white girl.

00:17:40.520 She's going to love me.

00:17:41.120 They're like, fight back, Drew.

00:17:43.060 Fight.

00:17:43.820 Fight, Drew.

00:17:44.900 You're like, you say something.

00:17:47.680 They're like, no.

00:17:48.360 Yeah, they love me kind of like how people love gorillas in the zoo.

00:17:52.360 Like they're like, oh my God, throw it again.

00:17:55.100 Right.

00:17:55.640 Do it again.

00:17:56.080 Look how big it is.

00:17:57.040 See what it does when you pound the glass.

00:17:59.060 It's putting its butt on the window.

00:18:00.380 That's crazy.

00:18:01.540 That's how they look at me.

00:18:01.960 Take a picture.

00:18:02.720 Take a picture.

00:18:03.860 Take a picture with me.

00:18:04.820 And then when I hit the glass a little too hard, they get scared.

00:18:06.820 Yeah, right.

00:18:07.580 That's what happens to me.

00:18:08.580 Right.

00:18:09.120 The off topic, but not really.

00:18:10.420 When I was in therapy once, I was talking to my therapist about, I was like telling her

00:18:15.340 like how I struggle with being perceived sometimes, kind of like what you were saying earlier.

00:18:18.800 And I was telling her, I don't know, sometimes I feel like an animal in the zoo and I feel

00:18:22.720 like they're all watching me and then they get mad when I'm not enjoying my enclosure.

00:18:26.260 Right.

00:18:26.380 Like they get annoyed with me.

00:18:27.160 They're like, we bought you the fucking swing.

00:18:28.560 Yeah.

00:18:29.280 We put that peanut butter ball in there and you haven't touched it once.

00:18:31.920 You're banging your head against your glass and they're like, doesn't even appreciate

00:18:35.620 the fucking swing this one.

00:18:37.140 I made a joke once and I was like, I feel like the fucking, the whale in Blackfish, like

00:18:42.460 Tilikum or whatever the fuck, where I'm studying their patterns and then I'm going to kill

00:18:46.180 them eventually.

00:18:46.760 Did you ever watch that documentary?

00:18:47.800 No.

00:18:48.700 Jason hasn't told me about it yet.

00:18:50.960 She's my source for shit like that too, to be honest.

00:18:52.400 Yeah, she's feeding me.

00:18:53.160 She's feeding me.

00:18:53.620 It's a crazy documentary about how they treat the animals at SeaWorld terribly.

00:18:57.500 But when they're studying killer whales specifically, they, killer whales are really smart.

00:19:01.160 So they noticed that literally he was going insane in there.

00:19:03.820 So he got mad and started holding grudges against the trainers.

00:19:07.520 I'm not even kidding.

00:19:08.220 I'm not joking.

00:19:08.940 And then he started studying how they swam and their routine.

00:19:12.620 And then he like literally killed them because he was planning.

00:19:15.480 And that's me.

00:19:17.740 I'm going insane, but I'm also fucking watching all of them.

00:19:21.620 Yeah, but I'm also clocking a pattern.

00:19:23.440 Right.

00:19:23.720 And my therapist, when I was talking to her about it, she was like, well, you know, even

00:19:26.600 when you see animals that are enjoying their enclosure, like that doesn't mean they were

00:19:29.620 meant to be in there.

00:19:30.460 So like it's acceptance, whatever.

00:19:32.140 I was like, right, right.

00:19:33.080 And she goes, also like, you know, situations like that are known as like double binds where

00:19:37.640 you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

00:19:39.080 She goes, they do tend to tend to trigger psychosis, specifically in women.

00:19:42.760 And I said, hey, any other notes, doctor?

00:19:46.140 And I was, that was the end of her sentence.

00:19:47.780 And I said, oh, so I feel crazy because I am going crazy.

00:19:52.180 I hate when they just leave you with things.

00:19:53.920 And they're like, so same time next week.

00:19:57.440 Hey, I'm going to leave you with that.

00:19:59.440 Got it on.

00:20:00.400 Got it on.

00:20:00.980 But speaking of our jobs making us go crazy.

00:20:02.880 Yeah.

00:20:03.180 How did you get into content creation initially?

00:20:06.480 So I think originally I started posting videos because my friends were like, put that shit

00:20:10.360 online because I'm not going to hear about it anymore.

00:20:12.800 And they're like, we've heard the joke.

00:20:14.280 Let somebody else.

00:20:14.780 Talk to yourself and post it.

00:20:15.920 We've heard it all.

00:20:17.080 We've heard it.

00:20:17.820 Try somebody else.

00:20:18.380 Um, and then I, when I think about this, like, I know that at some point I had little

00:20:24.460 John, like he reposted one of my videos and it went crazy because I was like, what does

00:20:30.400 milk the cow mean?

00:20:31.680 And I like got on all fours and he was like, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet.

00:20:35.040 Right.

00:20:35.520 And I was like, thank you, little John.

00:20:36.980 When I see you, I think little John.

00:20:37.800 Yeah.

00:20:38.120 Well, thank you for saying that.

00:20:39.600 A lot of people say that.

00:20:41.380 You're not the first.

00:20:42.520 But then I had Simone Biles, like, followed me and I was like, this is actually, I die here.

00:20:48.580 I tried to commit suicide two times because I was like, this is as good as it gets.

00:20:53.120 Well, that's it for me.

00:20:54.620 Um, so yeah, I really started creating videos like at the end of college and I didn't think

00:20:58.980 it would be anything.

00:20:59.840 And then I was still.

00:21:00.040 When did you graduate from college?

00:21:02.420 I was supposed to graduate in 2020.

00:21:04.840 Okay.

00:21:05.500 But COVID messed things up.

00:21:06.940 And also my 2.1 GPA.

00:21:09.960 Maybe.

00:21:10.400 I think it was fucking COVID.

00:21:11.700 Like all these factors.

00:21:13.380 Who's to say?

00:21:14.000 There was a lot going on at the time.

00:21:15.140 Like, sorry.

00:21:17.400 What's Jeremiah?

00:21:18.080 I partied too hard.

00:21:20.320 Sorry, dad.

00:21:21.160 So that's why you hate Jeremiah.

00:21:22.640 Because you are Jeremiah.

00:21:24.000 Of course.

00:21:24.440 I hate what I am.

00:21:25.480 He's a mirror.

00:21:26.400 Yeah.

00:21:27.140 So yeah, then I started creating videos.

00:21:29.420 Nice.

00:21:29.900 And then, yeah, that's really the rest is history.

00:21:32.400 And now you're doing stand up.

00:21:34.320 I am trying.

00:21:35.240 How has that been?

00:21:36.480 Intimidating.

00:21:37.220 It is very scary.

00:21:38.560 I agree with you on that.

00:21:39.460 I'm like used to looking in the mirror.

00:21:41.500 And like, I'm good with that.

00:21:43.200 But looking outwardly for everybody's opinions is weird.

00:21:48.240 Because I'm like, well, I don't respect what you say.

00:21:51.360 You're so mean.

00:21:52.200 I don't agree with a lot of you.

00:21:54.400 And like, I have this natural urge to fight back.

00:21:57.860 Yeah.

00:21:58.140 You know, so I'm loosening up.

00:21:59.620 I am very familiar with that feeling.

00:22:00.960 Right.

00:22:01.640 So.

00:22:02.220 Right.

00:22:02.360 I get it.

00:22:02.980 Right.

00:22:03.460 Trust me.

00:22:03.960 I'm loosening up.

00:22:05.260 But I've also met some.

00:22:06.840 People have been so great since we've moved to LA.

00:22:08.940 Like, I've had so many mentors now, I feel like, who are offering advice.

00:22:13.860 And I'm just trying to be a sponge.

00:22:15.640 That's really.

00:22:16.260 No, that I feel like is half the battle.

00:22:18.400 Right.

00:22:18.520 It's just being willing to listen.

00:22:19.780 Right.

00:22:20.180 Because when straight men get up there and don't take any fucking notes.

00:22:22.920 Right.

00:22:23.200 You're like, well, I could do that.

00:22:24.500 It's.

00:22:25.380 Hello?

00:22:26.060 I see a straight man do it.

00:22:27.220 I'm like, okay.

00:22:27.840 Why am I even nervous?

00:22:30.120 I think there's this pressure to be, you know, as good as I want to be and great.

00:22:36.640 You know, most people, when they start to stand up, it's like them and some drunken, you know,

00:22:40.620 some guy drinking at a bar.

00:22:41.820 It's like seven people total.

00:22:43.040 Yeah.

00:22:43.260 Yeah.

00:22:43.860 So I think that I'm like being perceived as always tough and, you know, you don't want

00:22:48.360 to make anyone mad, but you want to do what you want to do.

00:22:51.340 Yeah, totally.

00:22:52.260 So, yeah, but it's good.

00:22:53.620 Yeah.

00:22:53.760 It's a good place to be.

00:22:54.620 I think it's good that you're so open to learning, which is not shocking because you're not a

00:22:58.260 straight man.

00:22:58.780 So obviously.

00:22:59.580 But I agree, though, because I that was like one of the last things I ever tried.

00:23:04.060 And it was because I was genuinely very nervous to try it because I didn't want to find out

00:23:07.940 the hard way.

00:23:08.540 I wasn't funny.

00:23:09.180 Well, that's like not that kind of funny.

00:23:10.860 You're funny.

00:23:11.280 Thank you.

00:23:12.340 I think like online funny and like stand up funny, they don't always cross over.

00:23:16.940 Right.

00:23:17.180 Some of the some people genuinely do.

00:23:18.820 And some people don't at all.

00:23:20.040 Like they try it and they're like, oh, never again.

00:23:22.640 Yeah.

00:23:22.820 Right.

00:23:23.140 Or they're like, she's only funny in her videos.

00:23:25.280 You didn't.

00:23:25.820 Did you enjoy it?

00:23:27.060 I did.

00:23:27.620 I enjoyed it.

00:23:29.340 Yeah.

00:23:29.620 I think more than anything, when I was thinking about it, I was like, this is great.

00:23:33.120 But like, I want to do other things.

00:23:35.000 Right.

00:23:35.580 I was like, I think I want to act instead.

00:23:37.720 Yeah.

00:23:37.980 So I'm kind of pursuing that, but I do love live performance.

00:23:40.940 I think that's very fun.

00:23:42.000 Oh, yeah.

00:23:42.380 Did you take your podcast live?

00:23:44.460 Yes, I have.

00:23:45.240 I did.

00:23:45.620 Well, not this one.

00:23:46.460 I toured my other podcast with my sister.

00:23:48.740 Of course.

00:23:49.100 We did like a baby tour.

00:23:50.320 And then when my book came out last year, I did like a full national tour, like 22 dates

00:23:54.340 or something.

00:23:54.740 Yeah.

00:23:55.140 Which was really fun.

00:23:56.100 And that's, it is like live comedy, but it's not stand up.

00:23:59.020 So it feels different and more fun.

00:24:00.660 Right.

00:24:01.100 Because I feel like, I feel like too, for me with stand up, I felt very chained to the material.

00:24:05.980 Like, I felt like I had to memorize it word for word.

00:24:08.680 So when I did like my first five, I was a little stiff.

00:24:11.760 Right.

00:24:12.180 When I did my next set, I felt way better because I just wrote bullet points and then just kind

00:24:16.520 of went from there, which I think is more fun.

00:24:18.360 Right.

00:24:18.660 Is that kind of your vibe too?

00:24:19.840 Yeah.

00:24:20.060 So I think that I, I've tried to like memorize 60 minutes of material to take it on the road.

00:24:25.980 But yeah, the more you watch and you know, we've been going to so many comedy shows,

00:24:30.100 funny people are funny.

00:24:31.580 Yeah.

00:24:31.980 That's, that's, that's literally what my fiance told me.

00:24:33.940 He's like, you're still funny.

00:24:34.860 Like, even if it's, you don't memorize everything.

00:24:37.100 Right.

00:24:37.680 You don't know anything.

00:24:38.940 Yeah.

00:24:39.320 And I was like, stop it.

00:24:40.960 You're a man.

00:24:41.880 You don't know anything.

00:24:43.280 I have to have other people find me funny.

00:24:45.040 Right.

00:24:45.320 Right.

00:24:45.680 Yeah.

00:24:46.000 I don't care if you do.

00:24:47.920 God, it's other people.

00:24:49.760 Yeah, I do.

00:24:50.460 I think that too, we've been to so many comedy shows in the last like two weeks too.

00:24:54.380 It's just like, some people can get on stage and say, hello, you know, like, shut the fuck

00:24:59.680 up.

00:25:00.560 This woman, you know, like, I think it's just about this confidence in this.

00:25:04.760 I agree.

00:25:05.480 I agree too.

00:25:06.340 And I think it's like being able to read a room too.

00:25:09.060 Cause even when I talked to Caleb Heron, he always like, he's been a mentor for me in

00:25:14.300 standup.

00:25:14.640 Like he gives me lots of tips and stuff, but he's even told me like that it's, it's all

00:25:20.020 about reading a vibe because he's like, I like to think of it like having a conversation.

00:25:22.980 So like, if I brought up politics and you were not responding to it, I'm not going to

00:25:26.620 keep talking about something you're not responding to.

00:25:28.220 Right.

00:25:28.660 Yeah.

00:25:28.980 He's like, I'm not going to keep hammering home the same thing you don't want to talk about.

00:25:32.500 So when I looked at it that way, it felt less daunting of like, what do I talk about?

00:25:37.920 Yeah.

00:25:38.100 Yeah.

00:25:38.440 And even so, like, I feel like too, sometimes when people would come watch me do standup,

00:25:41.900 like the first time I did it was for Caleb.

00:25:43.400 So I told him I didn't want to market it in any way.

00:25:45.700 Cause I just wanted to find out if I was funny.

00:25:47.560 I didn't want to tell anyone.

00:25:48.640 Organically.

00:25:49.100 Yeah.

00:25:49.340 So it was like a pleasant surprise.

00:25:50.700 But then I, I performed with him and Chris Fleming, which I was like, that's fucked up

00:25:54.540 to do to me.

00:25:55.020 They're so hilarious.

00:25:55.720 Why would you stack those two fucking Titans over me?

00:25:58.400 Like, that's fucked up.

00:25:59.700 You were so funny and so loved though, too.

00:26:02.160 I think that that's like part of it too.

00:26:03.920 It's like, you're filling it with a room full of people who love you.

00:26:07.340 You would have to really fuck up.

00:26:08.880 You're right.

00:26:09.280 Yeah.

00:26:09.640 And I didn't talk to like, uh, Grace Kulenschmidt.

00:26:12.200 Like she said, like, I don't like doing it in rooms with like predominantly straight

00:26:17.040 people.

00:26:17.380 Like I like to go to queer spaces, gay bars, like, cause those people are going to get

00:26:22.040 your jokes.

00:26:22.520 Like a lot of your, your kind of energy and vibe.

00:26:24.900 And I was like, that's so T that is so T because I think about like other comics I've

00:26:29.320 talked to, like longstanding comics who like they've performed in certain cities.

00:26:32.000 They'll never go to ever again.

00:26:33.540 Right.

00:26:33.900 Cause they're like, no matter what I say, they're going to hate me.

00:26:36.440 Those aren't my people.

00:26:37.380 Yeah.

00:26:37.700 They're going to hate me and everything I say, which is really exciting.

00:26:41.340 Do you have any like goals for standup?

00:26:43.620 Yeah.

00:26:43.840 So the goal is that I want, I've had trouble finding like a good management company.

00:26:48.700 Like, uh, so I want to find a good management and then take it on the road.

00:26:52.500 Probably three shows at first.

00:26:54.000 So I might book on my own three shows and then see how that goes.

00:26:57.660 Fun.

00:26:58.260 And then maybe a tour.

00:26:59.420 Oh my God.

00:26:59.920 How exciting.

00:27:00.280 But I need to put my minutes in.

00:27:01.540 I need to put in the hours.

00:27:02.960 Yeah.

00:27:03.320 Are you a big planner?

00:27:04.340 What's your sign?

00:27:05.240 No, I'm an Ares.

00:27:06.800 Oh.

00:27:07.460 Can you tell?

00:27:08.060 Yeah.

00:27:08.420 In a bad way?

00:27:09.100 No.

00:27:09.440 In a great way.

00:27:09.980 I'm not insecure about it.

00:27:12.260 No, I get along with Ares very well.

00:27:14.480 Ares people in general, because Ares people, even Ares men, which is shocking.

00:27:18.360 But I feel like Ares people I've said before are like, you know, when you're driving and

00:27:23.420 you're thinking to yourself, what if I just ran my car off the road?

00:27:26.320 Of course.

00:27:26.800 Ares people, I'm like, Ares people do it and then think about it after.

00:27:30.140 Right.

00:27:30.800 And one of my best friends in college was an Ares and I'm a Virgo.

00:27:34.040 So I always say I never would have had any fun experiences without her and she would

00:27:38.700 have died without me.

00:27:39.380 Right.

00:27:39.840 So I think we're a good pairing, honestly.

00:27:41.400 Right.

00:27:41.780 Yeah.

00:27:41.880 I think we keep each other alive, honestly.

00:27:42.960 I think a big part of my growing up was like, no running the car off the road.

00:27:47.760 Like, I was like, chill out a little bit.

00:27:50.040 I used to be such a hothead and now I think about yelling and I'm like, nobody could ever

00:27:54.000 make me yell.

00:27:54.980 Really?

00:27:55.460 You used to be a hothead?

00:27:56.440 Oh my gosh.

00:27:56.980 I would never get that from you.

00:27:58.360 Yeah.

00:27:58.700 Well, I'm like, I'm like trying to grow into a better person.

00:28:02.280 Well, that's because I've grown up.

00:28:03.660 I like, right.

00:28:05.120 I made a lot of bad choices.

00:28:06.860 That's why I'm 26, I'm 26, 13 months ago.

00:28:12.040 I'm not letting that go.

00:28:13.680 I'm not letting that go.

00:28:14.860 You're going to, so you're 27?

00:28:16.760 Why would you say that?

00:28:19.480 I was like, 26, 13 months ago.

00:28:21.180 What, and now I'm 5'6"?

00:28:22.300 How many lies are you going to tell?

00:28:23.820 How many lies?

00:28:24.620 You're making me do math and that's fucked up.

00:28:26.180 Right.

00:28:26.740 I was literally doing math in my head.

00:28:28.620 Okay.

00:28:29.060 Well, I'm going to be 30, so you're fine.

00:28:30.680 Oh my gosh.

00:28:31.180 You look great.

00:28:32.000 Thank you.

00:28:32.800 Yeah.

00:28:33.140 I didn't appreciate the oh my God, but thank you.

00:28:37.060 It's like a whole third.

00:28:38.480 Jesus Christ.

00:28:39.080 He starts with a three?

00:28:41.260 I know.

00:28:41.860 I'm excited.

00:28:42.440 I honestly hate being 29.

00:28:43.840 I feel like it's like, I'm hanging on to my 20s.

00:28:46.540 Just do it.

00:28:47.040 I wish I skipped to 30.

00:28:49.400 Just the age itself is getting desperate.

00:28:51.660 I'm like, I'm not 30 yet.

00:28:53.420 Okay.

00:28:53.840 I just started telling people I'm 30 because I'm, I'm so sick of saying 29.

00:28:57.900 It feels so embarrassing.

00:28:58.720 You're going to beat him to do it.

00:29:00.300 That is so funny.

00:29:01.500 It feels like I'm holding on to my 20s, but then I'm looking forward to my 30s.

00:29:05.160 Cause then when I turned 30, I'm going to be like, I'm only 30.

00:29:07.260 So like 30 year olds.

00:29:08.260 The babiest of the 30s.

00:29:09.340 Yes.

00:29:09.620 I'm 21 again.

00:29:10.440 Right.

00:29:10.720 But in 30s.

00:29:11.540 Right.

00:29:12.080 Period.

00:29:12.560 Yeah.

00:29:12.740 That's what I think.

00:29:13.540 I'm, I'm wishing for the 30s.

00:29:15.280 It would be nice to not have any like attachment to the things I did in my 20s.

00:29:21.560 That's fair.

00:29:22.280 I'll be sober for like 14 years at that point or something.

00:29:25.180 I'm like, come on.

00:29:26.560 Congratulations though.

00:29:27.480 Thank you.

00:29:27.880 That's awesome.

00:29:29.200 Allie can't drink.

00:29:30.280 Congratulations.

00:29:32.680 Sorority's fucking hard.

00:29:33.680 Yeah.

00:29:33.980 Is it?

00:29:35.020 I don't know.

00:29:35.680 You tell me.

00:29:36.140 Yeah.

00:29:36.620 I don't know.

00:29:37.420 I think that like part of it is just like you wake up so icked one day from yourself.

00:29:42.660 That's good though.

00:29:43.360 You're like, ugh, never again.

00:29:45.340 You know?

00:29:45.640 And I had enough.

00:29:46.440 Like I, I think a normal person would probably take, I like also didn't drink until I was

00:29:51.340 old enough to.

00:29:52.220 Me too.

00:29:52.720 I didn't drink until I was 19, 20.

00:29:55.980 Yeah.

00:29:56.260 I think it was like the first time I started drinking.

00:29:57.860 Yeah.

00:29:57.880 And then I hit the handle hard.

00:29:59.860 I like, I like found out about it.

00:30:02.060 You said I put in those hours.

00:30:03.040 Right.

00:30:03.220 So that's for sure.

00:30:04.000 Made up for lost time.

00:30:05.060 Right.

00:30:05.500 And then I said, cut it.

00:30:07.360 That's plenty.

00:30:08.400 That's plenty.

00:30:09.560 No, that's so, that's honestly so too.

00:30:11.320 I agree with you on that.

00:30:12.460 Especially the twenties, like being attached to your twenties, because I actually was too

00:30:17.340 a hothead too when I was younger, but I, I like to describe it.

00:30:21.040 No way.

00:30:21.640 No way.

00:30:22.880 That's why one of us would make a lot of sense.

00:30:25.020 The other person you'd be like, really?

00:30:27.040 And I get, guess who it is.

00:30:31.020 When I was younger, I like to describe it though.

00:30:33.220 I was like, I just had no fear, which I guess could have, which is worse.

00:30:37.360 It's so much scarier.

00:30:38.320 I had no fear at all, especially like when it came to any sort of confrontation, which

00:30:42.920 again, shouldn't be shocking.

00:30:44.780 Right.

00:30:45.780 Which I say now too, like now that I like laugh at hate or like people being bigoted or

00:30:50.780 whatever, I'm like, you guys should be lucky you caught me in my mid twenties.

00:30:54.620 This is me peaceful.

00:30:55.600 Yeah.

00:30:55.820 If you caught me when I was 17, 18, bitch, you would have really hated me.

00:30:59.200 Like I would have came up to your front fucking door and we would have handled it in person.

00:31:03.180 So I'm, I'm proud of that too.

00:31:05.220 Getting older.

00:31:06.260 Look at you.

00:31:06.980 Look at us.

00:31:07.800 Look at us.

00:31:09.000 We're so distinguished now.

00:31:10.280 Right.

00:31:10.520 Sorry.

00:31:10.880 Classy legs are crossed.

00:31:12.860 Sorry.

00:31:13.380 Cause before they would have been here.

00:31:16.840 Exactly.

00:31:17.240 But speaking of fun facts about you, I do have some other fun facts about you.

00:31:21.260 Some, some very interesting facts.

00:31:24.400 The first one being that you played high school basketball.

00:31:28.440 The crowd went quiet.

00:31:30.540 Everyone's like hothead and basketball.

00:31:33.740 Yeah.

00:31:34.140 It is so unfair.

00:31:35.020 Cause I've been really into women's sports lately and love meet these, you know, amazing

00:31:39.380 athletes.

00:31:40.000 And they're like, obviously good at basketball.

00:31:42.000 And I'm like, by the way, me too was, by the way, back in my day, by the way, here as

00:31:47.100 well, you're lucky.

00:31:49.280 I decided to be funny for a living.

00:31:50.920 Otherwise I would have taken that spot.

00:31:52.340 I would have had a few problems with me.

00:31:55.300 So yeah, I did.

00:31:56.300 I played high school basketball.

00:31:57.260 I played in college for half a second as well too.

00:31:59.180 Okay.

00:31:59.740 Yeah.

00:32:00.140 Do a little more.

00:32:00.620 What was your position?

00:32:01.580 Dive deeper into that reach.

00:32:04.460 Add that to your little tab.

00:32:06.220 Two weeks in three school.

00:32:08.580 So don't give me my credits.

00:32:10.420 What did you, uh, what position were you?

00:32:12.760 Point guard.

00:32:13.320 You know my height.

00:32:14.020 Yeah.

00:32:14.780 I knew, I didn't want to assume you were a point guard.

00:32:16.980 I just wanted to ask.

00:32:18.120 I imagine you said a forward.

00:32:19.060 You're crazy.

00:32:19.700 I'm the big guy.

00:32:21.760 I'm the big guy.

00:32:22.840 You can't tell.

00:32:24.580 Obviously I'm posting up.

00:32:26.000 Obviously.

00:32:26.600 Yeah.

00:32:26.920 Yeah.

00:32:27.220 Okay.

00:32:27.600 This next one says your very first tattoo was the quote, two roads diverged in a yellow

00:32:32.740 road.

00:32:33.440 Robert, Robert Frost quote on her arm.

00:32:36.420 Is that true?

00:32:38.440 That's close to the quote.

00:32:40.740 So let me run it back for you.

00:32:42.440 Cause Robert would be pissed.

00:32:43.880 Yeah.

00:32:44.340 Two roads.

00:32:44.980 I was going to say yellow road.

00:32:46.360 What is this?

00:32:46.680 Wizard of Oz?

00:32:48.420 Amanda, did you write that down?

00:32:49.520 Hold on.

00:32:50.480 Let's click.

00:32:51.260 Let's click my heels and we'll find out who the tattoo is.

00:32:55.340 You're like reading it and you're like, this doesn't seem right.

00:32:57.160 That's why I was like me being a Virgo.

00:32:58.600 I'm like, that's incorrect.

00:32:59.840 Right.

00:33:02.460 The yellow wood.

00:33:03.840 The yellow wood.

00:33:04.660 The yellow brick road.

00:33:05.300 Yeah.

00:33:05.360 Two roads diverged into wood.

00:33:07.200 I took the one less traveled by.

00:33:08.680 Yes.

00:33:09.200 Which is what you get when you grow up in a town that there's no gay people and you say,

00:33:13.260 there's two roads and I'm not with them.

00:33:16.480 I thought it was so deep.

00:33:17.740 I was like, you were just gay in a small town.

00:33:20.100 That's okay.

00:33:20.800 I took the one less traveled.

00:33:22.140 Right.

00:33:23.060 Not the rainbow road.

00:33:24.880 Not the yellow road, but the rainbow road.

00:33:27.420 A rainbow path, if you will.

00:33:29.320 That was my first tattoo.

00:33:30.860 And don't get tattoos if you're whatever.

00:33:33.840 I don't know.

00:33:34.500 Whatever advice I'm supposed to fucking be giving the young kids.

00:33:37.000 Don't get them.

00:33:37.660 Don't do anything.

00:33:38.680 But I got it horizontal.

00:33:42.080 So like all my other tattoos are vertical.

00:33:43.900 And then it's just like, bam, mistake.

00:33:46.660 Okay.

00:33:47.460 So it's like written this way as opposed to like, or is it written straight?

00:33:51.520 And it's in cursive.

00:33:52.500 Like you, I know whoever wrote that down was trying to read this and they were like,

00:33:55.740 damn, they're from the two thousands.

00:33:57.480 They didn't learn cursive.

00:33:58.620 Imagine you read it though.

00:33:59.580 And it did say yellow road.

00:34:00.760 That would be crazy.

00:34:01.740 You're like, wait a second.

00:34:03.140 That's a D.

00:34:03.900 I know a D.

00:34:04.700 I know a D when I see a D.

00:34:06.980 That's, uh, how many tattoos do you have total?

00:34:09.660 Oh.

00:34:10.440 A bajillion?

00:34:11.700 70, 80 maybe.

00:34:13.220 It depends on what counts.

00:34:14.660 Do you lose, do you lose track over time?

00:34:16.580 I haven't gotten one since my frontal lobe developed.

00:34:20.160 So like, I, I hate to be, I'm like thinking about it.

00:34:22.960 It was 13 months ago when you turned around.

00:34:25.500 When I was 23.

00:34:27.560 Yeah.

00:34:28.460 Yeah.

00:34:28.860 I have like, I have Shrek.

00:34:30.360 I mean, I have some that I'm like, hmm.

00:34:32.800 I love that though.

00:34:33.880 Yeah.

00:34:34.160 The patchwork vibe.

00:34:35.240 Thank you.

00:34:35.640 I love that.

00:34:36.460 Thank you.

00:34:36.920 I'd rather white people do that.

00:34:37.500 You don't have to live with the regret.

00:34:39.120 You're like, I love it for you.

00:34:40.320 I'd rather y'all be tattooing that than tattooing anything cultural.

00:34:43.360 Right.

00:34:43.840 Right.

00:34:44.140 Like that's what I was like, you don't need to get kanji.

00:34:45.740 Cultural like, cultural like what?

00:34:47.280 Cultural anything that's not of white culture.

00:34:50.060 Like, like when people get like kanji on them or like Japanese characters, I'm like, you

00:34:55.000 could have gotten, you could have gotten a hot dog.

00:34:56.840 You could have gotten two roads diverged on a yellow road.

00:35:00.360 Right.

00:35:00.860 You could have gotten that.

00:35:02.260 But you didn't.

00:35:02.840 I did like a tattoo thing recently, but I don't have many.

00:35:06.800 I only have four.

00:35:07.980 And this was the first one I got.

00:35:09.300 And then this was, I got this when I was like 24.

00:35:11.520 That's so dope.

00:35:12.200 I got it like older.

00:35:13.280 Yeah.

00:35:13.600 I'd say.

00:35:14.400 I was like, when I got it too, I was like, well, I only have four.

00:35:17.020 Oh, that's cool.

00:35:17.600 We got to really stretch this time.

00:35:18.940 Don't we?

00:35:19.420 So I was like, well, this one also too, cause it's tribal, obviously specific to someone

00:35:24.380 culture.

00:35:24.880 Yeah.

00:35:25.320 But like, normally they're supposed to have like some sort of meaning, like your journey

00:35:30.600 through life or like something like that.

00:35:32.660 Um, it doesn't, it just looks cool.

00:35:34.380 And so sometimes when people are weird and offensive about it, I'll just make shit up.

00:35:37.980 Yeah.

00:35:38.320 No, you have to.

00:35:39.120 This, this right here means.

00:35:41.020 Get the fuck away from me.

00:35:42.240 I'm just lying.

00:35:43.080 I'm just lying constantly.

00:35:44.540 I'm telling them the story of the summer.

00:35:46.020 I turned pretty.

00:35:47.940 The plot line.

00:35:48.760 The whole plot line.

00:35:49.560 Yeah.

00:35:49.700 But it's just following my journey.

00:35:51.400 Um, and then this, my tattoo artist put this on my finger, but this is a bird.

00:35:55.520 Cause it's on my middle finger.

00:35:56.560 Right.

00:35:57.020 That's pretty much it.

00:35:57.860 That's like my bee's knees.

00:36:00.260 You're the bee's knees.

00:36:01.400 I know.

00:36:03.440 That's cute.

00:36:04.520 I love that.

00:36:05.240 Yours are so good too.

00:36:06.620 Thank you.

00:36:06.900 They just match.

00:36:07.920 They're your vibe.

00:36:08.820 I'm a big like Virgo in that sense too.

00:36:11.160 We're like all my, I want all my tattoos to match.

00:36:13.100 Cause my, I have a big one on my back down my spine that looks like this.

00:36:17.160 And then I have, um, my sister, my brother and I tattooed on the back of our neck.

00:36:21.640 Well, my sister and I is our back of our neck.

00:36:23.460 My brother got it on his back, but we wanted to get one for each of my parents.

00:36:26.900 So we got a moon with like tribal in it for my mom.

00:36:29.560 Cause she always says like, I love you to the moon and back.

00:36:31.860 And then like, so sweet.

00:36:33.360 And then I say that to me.

00:36:35.400 Yes, of course you can.

00:36:36.500 I'll let you borrow her after this.

00:36:37.480 Thank you.

00:36:38.020 And, uh, my dad, his very first tattoo was like a stick and poke in someone and it's

00:36:44.600 on his shoulder and it's in the worst writing and it's tiny and it's faded.

00:36:47.880 And it says a hundred percent someone.

00:36:50.060 That's all it says.

00:36:50.780 Oh yeah.

00:36:51.100 And he always says like, I hate that tattoo.

00:36:53.300 I should have never gotten it.

00:36:54.520 He got it when he was like 16.

00:36:55.840 And then he's like, I hate that tattoo.

00:36:58.100 And then of course, like my sister was like, we should tattoo ourselves for him.

00:37:02.000 So ours says 75% because my dad's full.

00:37:05.380 My mom's half someone.

00:37:07.180 That's quick math.

00:37:08.580 75% someone.

00:37:10.020 And I was like, we just tattooed a joke on ourselves.

00:37:11.940 Yeah.

00:37:12.460 For my mom.

00:37:13.220 We were like, Oh, I love you to the moon and back for my dad.

00:37:15.380 We're like, ugly tattoo.

00:37:17.760 Here's your ugly tattoo.

00:37:19.020 Math.

00:37:20.520 Math.

00:37:21.100 Yours is a percentage.

00:37:22.220 Ugly tattoo.

00:37:23.940 That is funny.

00:37:24.740 So he tattooed that on us.

00:37:26.180 And like, I only have the four.

00:37:27.880 That's all I got.

00:37:28.440 Yeah.

00:37:28.640 Any more in the future?

00:37:29.980 I think so.

00:37:30.860 I'm more so about placement.

00:37:32.240 Like I'm trying to figure out where to put my next one.

00:37:34.580 I'm not too sure.

00:37:35.560 So your type, what's the type?

00:37:37.160 A?

00:37:37.860 Yeah.

00:37:38.440 Okay.

00:37:38.940 And your type B.

00:37:39.540 Well, I wouldn't know.

00:37:42.880 Type A is very like structured planning.

00:37:45.880 Type B is very like whatever happens, happens.

00:37:47.980 Right.

00:37:48.300 Well, that's a little bit.

00:37:49.300 I'm like, what the fuck's going to happen?

00:37:51.020 But yeah.

00:37:52.240 What about your wife?

00:37:53.120 Is she type A?

00:37:53.760 Type B?

00:37:53.960 Very.

00:37:54.460 Yeah.

00:37:54.660 She has like four different planners.

00:37:56.700 And like this week I like made plans and I was like, Oh, dinner on Thursday.

00:38:00.700 And she was like, now where would we fit that in?

00:38:04.240 And I'm like, we're free on Thursday.

00:38:05.600 She's like, we're booked all day.

00:38:07.900 And I'm like, it's not in the calendar.

00:38:09.600 It doesn't exist.

00:38:10.380 She like, she like put one in the bathroom.

00:38:12.180 So I have to look at it.

00:38:13.320 It's like this huge dry erase board.

00:38:15.440 I'm like, I don't know.

00:38:16.360 It still feels free.

00:38:17.300 I really do.

00:38:18.000 I really do think that type A and type B need to be together.

00:38:21.740 I feel like two type A's doesn't work.

00:38:23.820 Yeah.

00:38:24.000 Because where am I going to be?

00:38:24.740 I'm not going to be invited.

00:38:25.700 Because I'm going to remember.

00:38:26.540 I'm not going to remember anything.

00:38:27.740 You know when people are like, your partner should not go through your phone.

00:38:30.340 I'm like, I hope the fuck she does.

00:38:31.940 Because I made a lot of plans.

00:38:34.680 And I have no idea when any of them are.

00:38:37.460 I think I made a plan.

00:38:38.760 No, my fiance is the exact same way.

00:38:42.320 Also, he does this shit that drives me up the wall.

00:38:46.100 Which is, he goes, do you have my wallet?

00:38:48.700 Why the fuck would I have it?

00:38:50.280 Right.

00:38:50.540 Why would I have your wallet?

00:38:51.880 No, he shouldn't ask that.

00:38:52.860 He asked me that about so many things.

00:38:54.460 Do you have my phone?

00:38:55.680 Why would I?

00:38:57.340 Every time.

00:38:58.020 Like, literally.

00:38:59.100 The other.

00:38:59.460 We were in Florida a week ago.

00:39:01.200 Yuck.

00:39:02.360 And we were looking.

00:39:03.860 My fiance was the last one who drove the rental car.

00:39:07.140 And me and my parents were trying to go somewhere.

00:39:08.880 So we were like, okay, yeah.

00:39:09.640 Ready to go?

00:39:10.140 Ready.

00:39:10.360 And he goes, do you have the car key?

00:39:11.900 Oh.

00:39:12.560 Why would I have it?

00:39:13.880 I've never driven the car.

00:39:15.140 People shouldn't.

00:39:16.080 Yeah, that's bad.

00:39:17.200 And people who do that kind of stuff are bad.

00:39:19.140 I've asked my wife all those questions this morning.

00:39:22.080 We walk out of the door.

00:39:23.140 I go, keys, wallet?

00:39:25.200 Mine and yours?

00:39:26.000 Okay, perfect.

00:39:26.660 Yeah.

00:39:26.840 One time we were driving home from somewhere.

00:39:30.300 And when we got in the house, he goes,

00:39:31.520 do you have my phone?

00:39:32.520 No, I don't.

00:39:33.700 And then he couldn't find it.

00:39:34.840 He uses his.

00:39:36.260 He's logged into my find my iPhone so he can find his own phone.

00:39:40.300 Because that's how often he loses it.

00:39:41.960 And he's like, I literally can't find it.

00:39:43.820 And then I was looking at it on, like, his location.

00:39:46.360 It was on the fucking freeway because he left it on the top of the car.

00:39:49.460 And we drove all the way home with it up there.

00:39:51.440 And it was like.

00:39:52.160 And it was still on, like, because it was on the freeway off-ramp.

00:39:55.200 Yeah.

00:39:55.480 And then we drove in circles.

00:39:57.220 And I was like, what are we doing?

00:39:58.600 We're not going to find it.

00:40:00.220 He's like, go on the ramp.

00:40:01.300 Come on.

00:40:02.020 He's like, well, if I just look.

00:40:03.700 Look what?

00:40:04.400 What are you, Spider-Man?

00:40:05.320 I can't see that shit.

00:40:06.640 She's like.

00:40:07.500 Yeah.

00:40:08.980 Ding, ding, ding.

00:40:10.020 Yeah.

00:40:10.760 I can't.

00:40:11.900 I genuinely don't.

00:40:13.000 When I first started dating him, sometimes he would come.

00:40:16.020 Or we would come to my house to pick me up.

00:40:17.860 Or he would, like, we would go somewhere to his house or whatever.

00:40:21.260 He would leave his phone while it keys in the ignition in the car.

00:40:24.620 Right.

00:40:24.800 Like, what are you, leaving it running?

00:40:26.260 Like, he just gets up and leaves.

00:40:28.680 Just excited.

00:40:29.260 Just happy to see you.

00:40:31.260 Sorry, I was happy to see you.

00:40:33.420 We were in Canada earlier this year for a show.

00:40:37.680 How are they?

00:40:38.820 They're nice, honestly.

00:40:40.100 They're fun.

00:40:40.860 Yeah.

00:40:41.060 They're probably a lot happier than we are.

00:40:42.820 I know.

00:40:43.460 It was so clean up there, too.

00:40:45.600 It was so clean.

00:40:46.700 They're recycling.

00:40:47.320 My one gripe, though, with it is every restaurant in Canada, the lights are, like, so low, you

00:40:52.960 can't see shit.

00:40:53.940 And the music is 2,000 times louder than it is anywhere.

00:40:56.760 Well, they have health care, so everyone can get glasses if they need it.

00:40:59.780 I remember one time my sister goes, it's too dark in every restaurant, and I can't hear

00:41:04.860 anything.

00:41:05.980 She looks busy.

00:41:07.040 Just turn down the music.

00:41:09.160 God, take me back to Florida.

00:41:12.280 When we were in Canada, I think, like, the second to last day we were there, I think we

00:41:16.520 were there for, like, four or five days.

00:41:18.020 The last day, second to last day we were there, he goes, I go, do you have the room key?

00:41:22.820 He goes, no, we'll use this one.

00:41:23.880 And he handed me the other one.

00:41:24.840 And I go, what happened to the other one?

00:41:26.080 And he goes, it's in my wallet.

00:41:26.960 And I go, where's your wallet?

00:41:27.800 He goes, I haven't seen it in a day.

00:41:29.060 Okay.

00:41:29.880 What?

00:41:30.460 Right.

00:41:30.520 And thanks for the warning.

00:41:31.540 Yeah.

00:41:31.820 And he goes, no, I haven't seen it.

00:41:33.580 And I go, he's, like, just trying to figure out where it could be.

00:41:35.760 Since when?

00:41:37.180 I don't know.

00:41:37.640 I think yesterday.

00:41:38.540 What do you mean you fucking think?

00:41:39.900 And then he goes, I lost it.

00:41:40.980 And I just, like, it's fine.

00:41:42.840 Not me.

00:41:43.920 The way I would literally be on the fucking night news, because I'd be scaling the buildings

00:41:47.480 like King Kong.

00:41:48.340 I'd be, like, where's my wallet?

00:41:52.960 Serving face, though.

00:41:53.840 Serving face, Shirley.

00:41:54.600 So, yeah, that is so deeply me.

00:41:58.240 And so I want to, I want, like, you know when people talk about men who are incompetent?

00:42:02.300 Yes.

00:42:02.640 I, like, hear them say it, and I'm like, they are bad.

00:42:04.620 Girl, that sucks.

00:42:05.740 And I did do that, and I need to not do that anymore.

00:42:08.940 It's like, I look myself in the mirror, I'm like, oh, God, stupid.

00:42:11.880 It's such a, like, I do, though, to an extent.

00:42:15.480 I envy that, because then nothing is ever stressful.

00:42:19.440 Right.

00:42:19.720 Like, I'm stressed all the fucking time constantly, and he's just like, ah, it's fine.

00:42:24.500 It'll buff out.

00:42:25.280 Yeah, like, one time his phone stopped working, and, like, I have brain rot, so if my phone

00:42:29.900 stops working for longer than 10 minutes, like, that's even a stretch.

00:42:33.500 I start turning what I like to describe as, like, very Republican.

00:42:37.400 Right.

00:42:37.860 Like, I start becoming very alt-right almost immediately.

00:42:41.080 I'm like, these goddamn fucking phones.

00:42:44.420 I'm addicted to them.

00:42:45.840 Yeah, I start getting so, like, when I can't look at TikTok for 10 minutes, which is a bad

00:42:50.820 thing.

00:42:51.220 Our job, though.

00:42:52.100 Right.

00:42:52.660 Part of it.

00:42:52.940 That's my excuse.

00:42:53.920 Right.

00:42:54.220 That's what I say.

00:42:54.840 I'm clocked in.

00:42:55.660 Yeah, I was like, it's my job.

00:42:57.020 And I'm watching, like, walkie slush on fucking TikTok for hours.

00:42:59.900 When somebody catches me watching something, and I have to say I'm working, and then it's

00:43:03.520 like, ah, ignore that.

00:43:06.580 Ignore that.

00:43:07.820 Yeah, his phone stopped working, and he was like, I'll just leave it here.

00:43:11.540 Not a big deal.

00:43:12.200 Is he, does he do a lot of social media, though?

00:43:14.660 No, not really.

00:43:15.400 Smart man.

00:43:15.760 Yeah.

00:43:16.240 Like, that's a good man.

00:43:17.320 That's yours.

00:43:17.880 Because it's yours.

00:43:18.720 Exactly.

00:43:18.860 And he doesn't get to touch it.

00:43:20.080 Exactly.

00:43:21.180 That's my neighborhood.

00:43:22.300 That's your toy.

00:43:22.960 This town ain't big enough for the two of us.

00:43:24.980 Get out of here.

00:43:26.580 He's, like, just trying to come into town, and you're like, no.

00:43:29.900 Like, population one, to me.

00:43:32.460 And, you know, what's funny is, no, he doesn't.

00:43:34.860 He posts very infrequently, if ever, because he doesn't really care for it, which I do love.

00:43:39.200 But he got invited recently to the Chief of War premiere.

00:43:42.900 Have you seen that show?

00:43:43.560 No.

00:43:43.680 With Jason Momoa.

00:43:44.340 It's, like, about the Hawaiian kingdom.

00:43:46.560 It looks really good.

00:43:47.240 It's on Apple TV.

00:43:48.060 Dope.

00:43:49.040 Big, big, big, big show, right?

00:43:50.780 Highly anticipated.

00:43:51.900 He gets invited to the premiere in Hawaii to host the carpet.

00:43:55.820 Did he get a plus one or no?

00:43:57.240 No.

00:43:57.740 And if you're asking, no, I didn't get invited.

00:44:00.920 I said, weird.

00:44:01.920 That's crazy.

00:44:02.620 I'm also a Polynesian and also host and also do that stuff.

00:44:05.340 And how about he needs to get the hell out of my town?

00:44:07.900 Get out of here.

00:44:08.560 I said, oh, now I'm fighting you for jobs, too.

00:44:10.640 Scram.

00:44:11.620 They really are cutting DEI.

00:44:13.360 Yeah.

00:44:13.720 Clearly.

00:44:14.140 Right.

00:44:14.400 Like, women and children are the first to go.

00:44:17.420 Nobody talks about that.

00:44:18.040 My sister.

00:44:18.540 I told my sister that she goes, he never fucking posts.

00:44:20.880 How the fuck did he get that?

00:44:22.200 How do they have it?

00:44:22.900 Does he have an email and bio?

00:44:24.280 Yeah.

00:44:24.820 I don't even fucking know.

00:44:25.420 What's this cool cat doing?

00:44:27.140 And honestly, I think it's because he bears a passing resemblance.

00:44:30.460 And when I say passing, it means very fleeting resemblance to Jason Momoa.

00:44:33.320 Right.

00:44:33.620 And I think they wanted it to be, like, hey.

00:44:36.240 Flex.

00:44:37.280 Flex.

00:44:38.100 You guys look alike.

00:44:39.020 Stand together.

00:44:39.780 Yeah.

00:44:40.240 Yeah.

00:44:40.340 Maybe kiss.

00:44:40.960 Who said that?

00:44:41.400 Uh-huh.

00:44:41.520 Who said that?

00:44:45.420 You said that.

00:44:46.460 No, you said that.

00:44:47.980 Okay.

00:44:48.520 Well.

00:44:48.940 You're like, what if all the men kiss and then what?

00:44:51.020 And what if?

00:44:51.640 And then what?

00:44:54.340 You're pushing gay agenda.

00:44:56.180 You're right.

00:44:56.760 I am.

00:44:57.300 I'll take it.

00:44:57.940 I'll take the fall for it.

00:44:58.820 Yeah.

00:44:58.980 Yeah.

00:44:59.640 I like you do it with all things.

00:45:01.000 Right.

00:45:01.420 I got clearance from everyone.

00:45:02.680 Right.

00:45:03.220 All the gays.

00:45:04.020 The summer I turned pretty.

00:45:05.580 Weren't you rooting for the mom and Laurel or whatever to kiss?

00:45:09.260 I remember when I first watched those episodes.

00:45:11.380 I said, okay, that's lesbians.

00:45:15.260 What do you mean lifelong friend?

00:45:17.160 Get married.

00:45:18.700 My sister makes this joke all the time whenever they're like, oh, this is my friend.

00:45:22.780 She goes, I had a friend like that once.

00:45:25.200 I.

00:45:26.840 I also had a friend like that once.

00:45:29.460 And now I know what she looks like from the inside.

00:45:32.040 I had a friend like that.

00:45:33.100 Now we're really good friends.

00:45:34.960 Yeah.

00:45:35.220 She had to, like, quit her job to take care of her.

00:45:37.600 I'm like, that's gay.

00:45:38.480 Yeah.

00:45:38.880 You've kissed.

00:45:42.000 I want to push my gay agendas on who I want to, you know?

00:45:44.760 Me too.

00:45:45.560 Yeah.

00:45:45.700 When I see it, I'm like, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

00:45:47.800 I'm like, you guys aren't going to fucking kiss.

00:45:49.780 Right.

00:45:50.100 That's crazy.

00:45:50.980 Yeah.

00:45:51.140 Also, having Skylar from last season kiss Cam Cameron.

00:45:57.200 Cam Cameron.

00:45:58.180 What's that?

00:45:58.900 What a gender are we pushing there?

00:46:01.960 That's like somehow gayer.

00:46:04.740 I don't know.

00:46:06.780 That two plus two equals, that's the gayest shit I've ever seen in my life.

00:46:11.140 What's going on?

00:46:12.940 Who's the top?

00:46:14.020 Tell me who the top is.

00:46:15.340 What in the lavender marriage is happening there?

00:46:17.760 Yeah.

00:46:18.520 I also think that, like, when the mom got sick, she's like, I have to quit my job and

00:46:22.620 take care of her.

00:46:23.220 And then when she found out she cheated, she was like, I would never, under her breath,

00:46:28.140 I would never treat you like this.

00:46:30.340 I told Holland, I'm like, that's exactly how I used to treat, you know, like girls who I

00:46:34.040 was friends with.

00:46:34.700 I'd be like, I know you're dating him, but I would never treat you like this.

00:46:39.800 In a straight way.

00:46:41.320 I would never.

00:46:41.760 Like in a totally normal, not gay way.

00:46:43.440 I would hold your hand all the time and kiss you too, been not a gay way.

00:46:48.780 That's like how we joke about my sister loving the movie Lemonade Mouth.

00:46:53.240 My sister.

00:46:53.840 A Haley Keoghan fan?

00:46:55.240 Yes.

00:46:55.860 My sister, when that movie came out, we watched it and I remember being like, this movie sucks.

00:47:01.360 Like, it's all right, but it's, it's what else.

00:47:03.420 And then it's no high school musical.

00:47:04.800 I can promise you that.

00:47:05.580 Right.

00:47:06.300 They could never, they could never recreate.

00:47:08.440 High school musical has box.

00:47:09.800 Yeah.

00:47:10.420 What Kenny Ortega created is magic, but that's besides the point when we were talking, I

00:47:16.220 remember when we were watching it and talking about it the first time we ever saw it, she

00:47:19.420 was like, we should watch Lemonade Mouth again.

00:47:20.960 And we watched it so many times that I distinctly remember asking her, why do you like this movie

00:47:27.040 so much?

00:47:27.460 Cause none of it was adding up to me.

00:47:29.000 I was like, why do you like this so much?

00:47:30.840 Cause she hates musicals and that movie makes no sense.

00:47:34.080 Like the general plot line makes no sense.

00:47:35.760 And she hates musicals.

00:47:37.240 I can't stress that enough.

00:47:38.200 And there's nothing but music in that movie.

00:47:40.220 And I was like, what do you like about this movie in particular?

00:47:42.980 And she was, she would never have a real answer for me.

00:47:45.600 Like, she would be like, I don't know.

00:47:46.980 I just think it's like awesome.

00:47:48.360 When she was younger?

00:47:49.480 Yeah.

00:47:49.820 When we were younger.

00:47:50.740 When we first saw it.

00:47:51.640 Yeah.

00:47:52.380 Okay.

00:47:53.220 Well, and I remember like being shocked when my sister came out to me, but then when I

00:47:57.180 look back, I see shit like that and I'm like, yeah, you're fucking gay.

00:48:00.400 She's like, I like the plot.

00:48:01.480 The plot is just gay.

00:48:02.420 Yeah.

00:48:02.740 The plot is Haley Kiyoko.

00:48:05.120 You're just watching Haley Kiyoko like this.

00:48:07.460 It's just nothing fast.

00:48:08.320 She's trying to zoom in on the.

00:48:11.900 Did you have, what was your coming out experience in that regard?

00:48:15.000 Like where you realized you're like, uh-oh, I think I might like girls.

00:48:18.200 No.

00:48:18.400 Oh, my mom says, my mom's like, Ali, I knew you were gay since you were born.

00:48:22.560 And so now, just to test it, I like bring babies up to her.

00:48:25.160 I'm like, you fruity?

00:48:26.400 Are you thinking?

00:48:26.760 Sniff this one.

00:48:27.120 What do you think?

00:48:27.480 Right.

00:48:27.520 What do you think, mom?

00:48:28.660 She's like, it's wrists are flimsy.

00:48:30.040 I'm like, that's gay.

00:48:31.680 No, I don't know.

00:48:32.640 There was a lot of, I like, I was so into basketball that like I didn't have a lot of

00:48:38.100 romance in my life, but I do remember feeling always drawn to female, like, you know, women

00:48:43.700 who were in movies.

00:48:45.340 Like, just like that, I like had a hero complex.

00:48:47.700 I was like, I would never hurt her in a friend way.

00:48:50.660 Once again, guys, it's in a friend way.

00:48:53.140 But every, you know.

00:48:54.040 Yeah, it's super in a friend way.

00:48:55.700 I think Shego was big for me.

00:48:57.740 Nice.

00:48:58.420 That's a great one.

00:48:59.740 Yeah.

00:49:00.880 She's mean and hot.

00:49:02.240 Love that.

00:49:02.580 Right.

00:49:02.880 And yeah, mean.

00:49:03.860 I was, I was, I didn't know what I wanted.

00:49:06.500 Now I have like the nicest person in the world.

00:49:08.860 I'm like, that's my Shego.

00:49:11.060 How about that character change?

00:49:14.200 I think that's great.

00:49:15.480 I think those are easy, I think, tells to the characters that you're drawn to.

00:49:19.940 So that's why Hayley Kiyoko, like being who Hayley Kiyoko is now, I was like, fucking

00:49:24.700 hat on a hat, bitch.

00:49:25.640 And just engaged.

00:49:27.940 It's like, I mean, this means everything to me.

00:49:31.060 I commented on their engagement post and I'm like, this is everything.

00:49:36.460 I've been laying the bricks since Lemonade Mouth.

00:49:39.460 I've been here since the beginning on Ground Zero.

00:49:41.800 Right.

00:49:41.940 Since she had that haircut.

00:49:44.940 Exactly.

00:49:45.720 That's what I'm saying.

00:49:46.480 And she was a rebel.

00:49:47.420 Right.

00:49:47.780 In that movie.

00:49:48.660 Bad.

00:49:49.300 Bad.

00:49:50.340 Gay.

00:49:51.480 Just gay.

00:49:52.560 And short hair.

00:49:53.540 There you go.

00:49:54.340 They love to do that.

00:49:55.340 Can't be straight with short hair.

00:49:59.260 This next fun fact says that your grandma almost went pro in ping pong.

00:50:07.120 Which one?

00:50:08.200 Is that a lie that you told?

00:50:10.300 I was not close at all with any of my grandparents.

00:50:16.420 I hope you do.

00:50:17.640 I hope you do.

00:50:18.380 I hope that my research team does explain.

00:50:21.320 We need to call in.

00:50:22.500 We need to call in a family member.

00:50:24.500 I saw part of a Q&A with you guys on YouTube.

00:50:28.360 And you were like, my grandma almost went pro in ping pong.

00:50:31.220 I said that?

00:50:32.060 Yes, I said, what are you?

00:50:33.580 Again, lying.

00:50:34.500 Remember I told you before, I love to lie on this show.

00:50:36.580 And sometimes people tell me things and I'm like, that's not true.

00:50:38.620 And it came from me.

00:50:40.260 Guys, I bet this was my grandma Mimi on my father.

00:50:45.340 Maybe my father's side.

00:50:46.840 Okay.

00:50:47.100 Because my father was an athlete.

00:50:49.660 So it makes sense that he came from greatness like her.

00:50:52.200 Ping pong.

00:50:53.460 Olympics, it said?

00:50:54.940 It said, almost went pro.

00:50:56.340 I don't know what pro would be.

00:50:57.620 Right.

00:50:58.040 Maybe your grandma Mimi would know.

00:50:59.340 Right.

00:50:59.940 She would.

00:51:01.040 I think she died when I was four.

00:51:03.140 So rest in peace.

00:51:04.700 I was going to say, my fiance loves ping pong.

00:51:07.380 But we can't relate on that.

00:51:08.420 Because you don't even know.

00:51:09.320 Well, now I'm thinking back.

00:51:10.220 I'm pretty dang good at ping pong.

00:51:13.060 I'm like, it's in my room.

00:51:15.100 I'm channeling something.

00:51:16.700 Yeah.

00:51:17.260 That could be true.

00:51:18.740 Your dad was an athlete.

00:51:19.760 Did he play basketball too?

00:51:20.420 He was.

00:51:20.920 Oh, I don't know him.

00:51:22.220 I mean, we don't really talk anymore.

00:51:24.280 I haven't talked to him in probably a decade.

00:51:25.940 He was a double athlete though.

00:51:27.800 Oh, well, fuck him.

00:51:28.740 Right.

00:51:29.100 Yeah.

00:51:29.420 Well, I won't.

00:51:29.960 But that would be pretty inappropriate.

00:51:33.040 I'll curse his bloodlines.

00:51:34.120 Yeah.

00:51:34.860 Past you.

00:51:37.600 After that.

00:51:38.080 I'm like so at peace.

00:51:38.800 You know, I feel like so at peace with things.

00:51:41.160 But you channel it.

00:51:42.340 And me, I'm like, well, maybe I should get a little round.

00:51:45.800 I'm like, no, I'm at peace.

00:51:47.200 Like, people should go and live their lives.

00:51:48.820 That's a beautiful thing.

00:51:49.400 And you're like, why don't we hurt them?

00:51:50.980 Yeah.

00:51:51.380 I'll hurt them for you.

00:51:52.180 Yeah.

00:51:52.400 You don't have to be here.

00:51:53.100 I'll do it.

00:51:53.520 Look, I'm tired of you putting in all the hard work in the sweat.

00:51:57.120 You're like, I got this.

00:51:58.200 I'm like, no, I'm coming.

00:51:59.040 You're like, I don't need you.

00:52:01.320 I know.

00:52:01.820 I saw, I literally saw a TikTok yesterday of a girl saying that like when men talk about

00:52:05.580 misandress and they talk about how like, oh, women are hating men.

00:52:09.880 She was saying like, there's so few women who like genuinely feel that way.

00:52:14.760 Like it's like one per like 15 of women who are, would do anything to defend men.

00:52:20.260 So it's like, there are many misogynistic women in the world that are so stark and rife

00:52:24.740 that like, there's no way it could balance out.

00:52:27.800 Right.

00:52:27.960 And she's like, but that's why I feel like maybe that's why it's so strong in me.

00:52:30.520 I got to pick up the fucking slack.

00:52:31.820 Right.

00:52:32.220 I got to carry the water.

00:52:33.660 The weight of 14 others who are missing out.

00:52:35.860 Exactly.

00:52:36.260 I'm like, you don't hate them.

00:52:37.060 It's okay.

00:52:37.340 I'll hate enough for all of us.

00:52:38.460 I'll do it for us.

00:52:39.280 Yeah.

00:52:39.540 I actually, I, I think what really gets me going about men too is recently I found out that

00:52:45.220 they don't wash their hands after they pee a lot of them.

00:52:48.060 And I'm like, how dare you shake a hand?

00:52:50.260 Oh my God.

00:52:50.900 How dare you ever shake a hand?

00:52:52.160 And they love to handshake.

00:52:52.960 You love to handshake.

00:52:54.080 Yeah.

00:52:54.400 They love to touch hands.

00:52:55.740 It's like, how does anybody have a good job when they don't wash?

00:52:59.480 They, you got pee pee hands.

00:53:01.800 And you're, you're a CEO.

00:53:05.140 Bacteria.

00:53:05.540 No, that's actually so real because my man does wash his hands after he goes pee.

00:53:09.940 But you have to, you're like.

00:53:11.420 Yeah.

00:53:12.060 I, I, well, I asked him once because I had seen it and I just can't even fathom, especially

00:53:16.840 because if you don't like, if you don't identify as men, you don't have a penis, you're not.

00:53:21.540 And you just, you sit down to pee.

00:53:23.220 You're not touching anything other than like flushing.

00:53:26.600 But even then you're like, you're flushing with your foot or something.

00:53:29.700 Women never flush the correct.

00:53:31.140 Nobody's like.

00:53:32.760 Everyone uses their foot.

00:53:33.860 Cause it's gross.

00:53:34.600 I don't even touch the door handle when I leave the restroom.

00:53:37.140 I can't imagine touching my literal dick and then going and being like, no, no need to

00:53:41.480 wash my hands.

00:53:42.160 It's like, they're like.

00:53:43.100 And then they go and do this.

00:53:47.920 That's what they do.

00:53:49.060 And they want me to not hate them.

00:53:50.560 Like you're crazy.

00:53:51.560 I have no choice.

00:53:52.680 I do feel like they do so much to make it easy.

00:53:55.620 If it wasn't so easy.

00:53:56.960 That's what I'm saying.

00:53:57.760 I'm like, when I, when people ask me like, cause sometimes I don't even know why recently,

00:54:01.860 like in some interviews I've had people ask me like, do you like really hate men?

00:54:05.940 Like some bullshit ass question like that, which like, even if I did, what are you going

00:54:08.660 to do about it?

00:54:09.180 But second of all, more importantly, I'm like, I'm always like, well, yeah, this is a joke.

00:54:13.380 I always say, but it's kind of true.

00:54:14.640 I always go, well, yeah.

00:54:15.660 Have you ever spent time with one?

00:54:16.820 Right.

00:54:17.780 Have you put in the hours?

00:54:19.080 Have you, did you clock the hours I did?

00:54:21.880 Because you'd fucking hate them too.

00:54:23.360 If you spent enough time with one.

00:54:24.540 Right.

00:54:25.040 Like just one, just one singular one.

00:54:26.940 Well, I would be scared if it was one.

00:54:29.640 I'd be scared if it was two.

00:54:31.240 Yeah.

00:54:31.520 I've even said before that when you see like groups of men together,

00:54:35.940 chill down my spine.

00:54:37.640 Doing what?

00:54:38.680 The khaki short army coming towards us.

00:54:41.140 Doing anything.

00:54:42.020 Yeah.

00:54:42.460 Just commiserating in general.

00:54:44.520 When you see a group of them and they're all laughing.

00:54:47.060 At what?

00:54:47.640 You never look at them and go, I wonder what they're laughing at.

00:54:50.640 Right.

00:54:51.140 When you look at them laughing, you, you, I literally get pissed.

00:54:53.760 I get pissed off.

00:54:54.340 I'm like, what the fuck is so funny?

00:54:56.020 What are you guys laughing at?

00:54:57.540 I don't think anything should be funny to them.

00:54:59.660 It's never the men that think, no, no.

00:55:02.360 If a man is watching this right now, it's never them.

00:55:06.120 It's always the ones who are like, even me, especially you.

00:55:10.680 Actually, I couldn't see you.

00:55:12.560 So I'm glad you pointed yourself out.

00:55:13.840 Yes.

00:55:14.140 Yeah.

00:55:14.340 You, you especially.

00:55:15.340 I know that's what, and I feel like my mentality obviously is not exclusive to me.

00:55:21.040 I'm just like, I'm a straight woman who, who talks about it and has eyes on me.

00:55:24.940 But like, that's why lesbians have been feeling that way for years.

00:55:27.660 Even gay men feel that way in a lot of ways.

00:55:29.460 I was like, many gay people have been feeling that way for fucking years.

00:55:32.300 Like exactly the same way I feel, which is like, if you don't bother me, I won't bother you.

00:55:37.120 I would, I would.

00:55:38.540 To be left alone is a dream.

00:55:41.260 I have, I have men come up to me and I'm like, what do you think is going to happen here?

00:55:45.640 We're wearing the same outfit.

00:55:46.840 Who does what?

00:55:48.060 Because I think you're wrong.

00:55:49.760 I think you're wrong.

00:55:51.520 You know?

00:55:52.040 Yeah, knock it off.

00:55:52.700 Leave me alone.

00:55:53.840 I don't even know how that would work.

00:55:56.100 I was talking to one of my gay friends the other day and she told me, she goes, I forget

00:56:00.600 you're straight sometimes.

00:56:02.400 And she got all pissed off.

00:56:03.900 I was like, I'm sorry.

00:56:05.800 My bad.

00:56:06.700 Me too.

00:56:07.360 The amount of apologies I get from straight people in my DMs apologizing.

00:56:12.220 Sorry.

00:56:12.920 Sorry I am this way.

00:56:13.920 Well, that's how it should be.

00:56:15.020 Yeah.

00:56:15.140 You're like, well, I don't forgive you.

00:56:17.940 It's fine.

00:56:18.560 Just don't do it around me or the kids.

00:56:19.940 Yeah.

00:56:20.300 And I wish you wouldn't televise it.

00:56:22.020 What you do behind closed doors again is none of my business.

00:56:24.920 I just don't want to see it.

00:56:26.220 Yeah.

00:56:28.180 Okay.

00:56:28.600 This next fun fact says you own a clothing brand called Be Nice Co.

00:56:32.800 A Be Nice Co.

00:56:33.440 That's it.

00:56:33.980 Yeah.

00:56:34.280 Love that.

00:56:35.140 How did that come to be?

00:56:36.660 So it started out as like influencers doing merch.

00:56:39.360 Sorry.

00:56:39.680 Now the gun's on me.

00:56:43.060 Sorry.

00:56:44.000 But yeah.

00:56:44.760 Yeah.

00:56:44.940 I think to like a big part of my life has been mental health.

00:56:47.700 Right.

00:56:47.960 Like I am obviously terrible at trying to kill myself.

00:56:51.080 So I'm here nonetheless.

00:56:52.980 And so I think that I just like wanted to do a company that was very like, I see that

00:56:59.380 you're here and I'm glad that you are.

00:57:01.040 And sorry.

00:57:01.460 I love that.

00:57:02.600 Sorry.

00:57:03.400 Like when people say that to me, I'm glad you're here.

00:57:05.600 Sometimes it feels like, fuck off.

00:57:07.500 Yeah.

00:57:07.780 You can't kill yourself.

00:57:09.740 So you have to be very good at that.

00:57:12.920 Right.

00:57:13.740 Right.

00:57:14.560 And just bringing that up one more time.

00:57:17.360 Yeah.

00:57:17.820 I think that's beautiful though.

00:57:19.400 I think it's a beautiful thing.

00:57:20.480 Thank you.

00:57:20.620 And I also think like anytime influencers do anything that isn't like making videos, it's

00:57:26.280 like, no, an influencer is doing another fucking thing.

00:57:28.680 Right.

00:57:28.780 Any, like you could do, I could like go and do like dig up some, some fucking archaeological

00:57:34.960 facts and they'd be like, oh, nice.

00:57:37.100 Now influencers are getting into paleontology.

00:57:38.980 Right.

00:57:39.100 Nice.

00:57:39.660 They're gentrifying everything.

00:57:40.840 Nice.

00:57:41.160 You can't eat now.

00:57:41.920 You can't spread your wings.

00:57:43.120 Yeah.

00:57:43.520 Yeah.

00:57:44.080 No, I do.

00:57:44.740 I think, I think people, it's like, if I was looking in at an influencer, I think a

00:57:49.640 big part of me would be like, maybe I hate her too a little bit.

00:57:52.000 Like it's easy to look at somebody and hate, you know, I choose to look in love.

00:57:56.240 I don't know if that makes me better than people.

00:57:58.520 I don't know.

00:57:59.620 I don't know.

00:58:00.200 I don't know.

00:58:00.580 Does that make me better that I would never leave a hate comment?

00:58:03.020 I don't know.

00:58:03.580 And we're working with the team to discover that one.

00:58:07.840 Jury's still out.

00:58:08.560 Right.

00:58:08.800 So we were waiting on the decision.

00:58:10.400 Right.

00:58:10.660 I agree with you though.

00:58:11.420 I feel the same way.

00:58:12.180 I've never been in a position where I've been like, I'm going to write something fucked up.

00:58:17.220 Like I've never in my life been so like down bad on myself that I felt the need to do shit

00:58:23.320 like that.

00:58:23.800 Well, one of the things that we love about humans, right, is that like everybody has this

00:58:27.540 bit of mystery to them.

00:58:29.020 And when you're online, it's like, we could, we could have a few more questions.

00:58:32.320 I wish they didn't have answers, you know, but that's just part of it.

00:58:36.700 I agree.

00:58:37.300 And I've told people too, when they, I'm sure you get this too.

00:58:40.000 And if people ask you for like advice on growing a platform or whatever, the first thing I

00:58:45.240 always ask them, I was like, do you hate being like perceived, but more specifically, don't

00:58:49.420 even factor personality, what you look like and just how you talk, how you stand, how you

00:58:54.540 dress.

00:58:55.300 Generally the things that make you, you, does it bother you to think that someone might tell

00:58:59.080 you they hate that?

00:58:59.660 Right.

00:59:00.280 Everything's up for discussion.

00:59:01.640 Yeah.

00:59:01.920 And if they, if the answer is yes, don't do it.

00:59:05.160 Every time I'm always like, don't do it.

00:59:06.500 You have to be so good with you.

00:59:08.280 Yeah.

00:59:09.860 Yeah.

00:59:10.220 Because this, I swear to fucking God, like this, I've even said too, that in some, I'm,

00:59:15.500 I'm a very confident, secure person.

00:59:17.400 And of course, obviously based off my content, this job has given me insecurities that I

00:59:23.700 was like, what the fuck?

00:59:25.660 Like sometimes like the shit people say to me, I'm like, like the wall eyed thing is

00:59:30.560 one I've said many times.

00:59:31.700 And, uh, the pot of greed joke is another one.

00:59:34.160 I've said, I said that joke.

00:59:36.040 And men were like, pot of greed.

00:59:37.860 And I'm like, it's not as funny when you see how you ruin everything.

00:59:40.440 Right.

00:59:40.940 Everything.

00:59:41.440 King.

00:59:41.540 You see when I was trying to be fun and you came in and we're all laughing and having

00:59:45.860 fun and you join and we're like, it's like, it's that crowd noise reaction when they're

00:59:50.400 like, Ooh, that's how it feels.

00:59:52.940 They say what you said louder.

00:59:54.260 We're like, we all, we heard it the first time we did.

00:59:58.040 No, we actually loved it the first time I said it was worse a second.

01:00:02.480 If I had a note, um, I wouldn't say it again.

01:00:04.980 Yeah.

01:00:05.340 It's the same thing.

01:00:06.060 And I've said to people, like, if you care at all what people could potentially say about

01:00:11.420 just what you look like.

01:00:12.640 Don't have an insecurity.

01:00:13.700 Yeah.

01:00:13.840 Don't do it.

01:00:14.940 Don't do it.

01:00:15.540 Do you have a fragile sense of self?

01:00:16.660 Don't do this.

01:00:17.280 Right.

01:00:17.440 Be so sure of your insecurity.

01:00:19.380 Uh, yeah.

01:00:19.920 I always tell people if you're, if you're not feeling good, don't do it.

01:00:24.500 You, so when you logged off, do you just get, you've gotten in your head?

01:00:28.760 Like, and as far as hate goes, getting hate, it depends on the kind because like when it

01:00:33.980 comes from people that I love and it's like, it's under the guise of not like, I hate

01:00:38.000 you.

01:00:38.340 It's under the guise of like, you're not doing enough.

01:00:40.140 You're not doing this.

01:00:40.900 You're not doing that.

01:00:41.700 You don't do this.

01:00:42.300 You don't do that.

01:00:43.000 That kind of shit stays with me.

01:00:44.780 Which I'm working on in therapy.

01:00:46.820 Like I said earlier, she said the gorilla's going nuts.

01:00:49.200 You're right.

01:00:49.580 I am.

01:00:50.340 And so that's one.

01:00:51.300 Um, but like general hate, like from trolls, like fat, ugly shit like that.

01:00:55.900 Honestly, it's not good.

01:00:57.780 And I'm not proud of this.

01:00:58.660 It excites me when I get those.

01:01:00.920 It revs the engine up.

01:01:02.560 Yeah.

01:01:02.580 It really, it feels like those smelling salts that you like, and then I can go run a 40.

01:01:07.020 Yeah.

01:01:07.160 Like that's how it feels to me.

01:01:08.840 Yeah.

01:01:09.020 But, um, other kinds of hate, like that's more a testament to like integrity character

01:01:13.920 and like shit like that.

01:01:15.380 Uh, when it's coming from a very high and mighty place, that kind of shit stays with me.

01:01:18.920 When I have to like look into the mirror a little bit and I'm like, well, hold on.

01:01:22.740 Yeah.

01:01:23.120 When I have that pause, I always am like, I log off for a little bit.

01:01:25.980 Me too.

01:01:26.420 And that was kind of why I took my, that was why I took my break actually, um, in December

01:01:30.800 because like, it was just getting to a point where it felt like, again, like a metaphorical

01:01:36.200 gun just pointed at me every single time I did anything, even if I was just doing my normal

01:01:40.120 shit or if I was minding my fucking business, like that was another thing too.

01:01:43.220 And so it was just overwhelming me to the point where I was starting to think of myself as

01:01:48.220 a different person, like starting to think I'm actually, maybe I might be a bad person.

01:01:51.740 Right.

01:01:51.960 When that started happening, I was like, I got to get off this shit.

01:01:54.140 Cause like, cause I'm, I'm not, I'm not even making sense to me about person.

01:01:57.620 One thing I do love is myself.

01:01:59.120 I am not going to let you guys convince me otherwise.

01:02:01.480 But that was another thing where I was like, this is getting in my head so severely that

01:02:05.140 it's making me start to see myself differently.

01:02:06.960 And that's not fucking fair to me.

01:02:08.240 Sure.

01:02:08.560 Um, no matter how much people love me, it's not fair to me.

01:02:12.000 So like, that's why I took time off.

01:02:13.760 And then it felt like that, that YouTube video of Logan Paul pretending to be colorblind.

01:02:18.980 And then he puts on the thing and he's like, Whoa.

01:02:20.800 And he has tears in his eyes.

01:02:21.800 That's how it felt.

01:02:22.580 I was touching grass for the first time.

01:02:24.080 Yeah.

01:02:25.160 Yeah.

01:02:25.620 I know.

01:02:26.220 Sometimes it's like, I'm sure you feel like this with your family.

01:02:29.240 I feel so thankful to have like a good family.

01:02:31.960 Yeah.

01:02:32.500 You know, it's just so grounding.

01:02:34.240 Like sometimes when stuff happens, cause I, I want so badly to explain myself.

01:02:39.300 Like a part of me is like, you know, I wouldn't mean it like that.

01:02:41.900 Like I'm, I'm good here, you know?

01:02:44.420 And I so badly want to explain myself, but it's like, you can never, there's thousands

01:02:48.580 of, you know, some people are going to think that you're a bad person.

01:02:52.160 You have to feel like you're a good person.

01:02:54.160 And so having family to just ground you sometimes, like even if it's my brothers being

01:02:59.100 like, don't post that selfie, you need to know you look a little bit fugly.

01:03:02.980 I'm like, see, and that's, it's cause sometimes I feel a little too hot.

01:03:07.320 Like you'll always, you'll always be funnier than you're hot.

01:03:10.380 And that's like, yeah, the humbling from family.

01:03:13.220 I crave it at this point.

01:03:14.500 Like most, most especially normalcy, like just like things that have nothing to do with

01:03:19.260 what I do for a living or who I am online.

01:03:21.140 Right.

01:03:21.420 Um, I need that too.

01:03:22.800 Like I need to be with real life people in real life.

01:03:26.060 Like that was something I talk about in therapy a lot too, which is like, I need to remember

01:03:29.380 that these people don't actually know me.

01:03:31.520 Right.

01:03:32.000 Um, like 99% of the people that follow me do not know me literally at all.

01:03:36.920 Um, so I have to like keep reminding myself about that and family does help, especially

01:03:41.480 like humbling jokes like that shit.

01:03:43.340 Cause I always say like one time my sister told me she saw one of my videos and then she

01:03:47.400 goes, yeah, that's the funniest one you've posted in a while.

01:03:49.800 And I was all right.

01:03:52.120 And I loved you through it.

01:03:55.320 It was a rough go of it for a minute.

01:03:57.020 I was going to ask if you needed some help.

01:03:58.820 Yeah.

01:03:59.040 One of my favorite stories to tell is my brother, when he was in high school still, he was like,

01:04:03.560 Oh, one of the girls in my class said she was on Tik TOK.

01:04:05.580 And I was like, my sister's on Tik TOK.

01:04:07.200 She has a lot of followers.

01:04:08.580 Mind you, I'm doing this full time at the time.

01:04:10.080 So I have like six, seven mil at the time.

01:04:11.600 By the way, 9 million people.

01:04:14.120 And then I was like, Oh yeah.

01:04:15.420 And he goes, yeah.

01:04:15.940 Then she asked me, Oh, what's her handle?

01:04:17.560 I want to look her up.

01:04:18.260 And then I go, I don't know.

01:04:20.240 And I go, it's my first and last name.

01:04:22.380 The one we share, by the way.

01:04:24.040 And then he goes, well, how was I supposed to know that?

01:04:25.900 Right.

01:04:26.460 You got me there.

01:04:27.140 How about tune in every now and then?

01:04:28.700 Yeah.

01:04:29.100 Hey, you got me there.

01:04:30.020 I'm on the ropes.

01:04:30.740 Yeah.

01:04:31.520 My fucking bad.

01:04:32.600 Out of pettiness, my brother, who I think works with numbers in some way, I'm like,

01:04:38.240 I don't fucking know.

01:04:39.060 He tries to tell me, I don't know.

01:04:40.480 Sorry.

01:04:40.920 And I don't listen.

01:04:41.560 And some of the time I don't care.

01:04:45.940 No, but he, I like out of spite, he won't download TikTok.

01:04:51.620 I'm like, okay.

01:04:52.560 Don't, Hey, don't ever need me though.

01:04:54.180 Like, right.

01:04:56.760 Exactly.

01:04:57.340 No, no.

01:04:57.860 You know, you're all, I honestly, I think that's great.

01:05:00.560 And even like my, um, my grandfather, like I joked about this too.

01:05:04.740 He was on, he's on TikTok.

01:05:06.520 Um, has he ever watched me?

01:05:07.740 No.

01:05:08.360 Um, how do I know that?

01:05:09.300 He told me.

01:05:09.860 But he's trying to get to the page.

01:05:11.240 Yeah.

01:05:11.500 Well, he told me, well, no, no, my grandpa knows how to work TikTok.

01:05:14.320 That's the worst part.

01:05:15.020 Like he knows.

01:05:15.700 And he has favorite people on there.

01:05:17.380 Sometimes he'll tell me like, oh, I watched this guy.

01:05:19.060 I go, oh, I know that guy.

01:05:20.140 And then he goes, do you?

01:05:21.400 Ah, yes.

01:05:22.580 I've been doing this for a while.

01:05:23.840 Uh, but then he told me to my face, like, I don't watch you.

01:05:28.000 And I go, is there any particular reason why?

01:05:30.520 And he goes, I don't need to see all that.

01:05:32.340 Yeah.

01:05:33.200 Did you let him know that you also don't watch him?

01:05:35.340 Is he posting?

01:05:36.560 All that.

01:05:37.460 What are you talking?

01:05:38.020 What do you think I'm doing on there?

01:05:39.300 And he's just like, nah, it like, truly, he's like, I have other people I'd rather watch.

01:05:43.660 Not my style.

01:05:44.960 Not my style.

01:05:46.880 Do you have any faves on TikTok you like to watch?

01:05:48.900 Oh my gosh.

01:05:49.340 Of course.

01:05:49.960 Like random faves.

01:05:51.000 Yeah.

01:05:51.340 I think I do.

01:05:51.980 We have like, on Holland and I's Bel Air's account too, they're so, the gay community.

01:05:58.520 I like love it.

01:05:59.360 Like when I get older lesbians on my feet, I'm like, oh yeah, I love that.

01:06:04.360 I gotta stop making the suicide jokes.

01:06:06.240 Like, we gotta get there, baby.

01:06:08.580 You know?

01:06:09.540 So like, I feel like I've so many gay creators I watch, but also like, I love the rich white

01:06:16.060 girls or the rich hauls.

01:06:18.220 I like eat it up.

01:06:19.820 I'm like, oh.

01:06:20.800 You know what's so funny is Alex Earl, before she like, and I sound like one of those people.

01:06:25.720 I knew her before she, I literally sound like that, but I'm dead ass.

01:06:29.180 She had like maybe 10,000 followers.

01:06:30.940 I watched her one video that blew the fuck up.

01:06:34.240 It was like a tailgate video or some shit.

01:06:36.200 I remember distinctly going, have you ever seen this girl?

01:06:39.240 To my sister.

01:06:39.780 Cause I had seen her like twice.

01:06:40.800 And each time I watch her, like she's the monkey in the zoo because I cannot relate to a lifestyle

01:06:47.440 less.

01:06:48.120 And I watch them like they're aliens.

01:06:49.560 I'm like, oh my God, that's crazy.

01:06:51.660 It's beautiful.

01:06:52.500 Yeah.

01:06:52.600 When I watch it, I'm like, interesting.

01:06:54.140 I feel like, right, right.

01:06:55.460 Like I'm studying her.

01:06:56.960 Right, right.

01:06:57.400 This is what they do.

01:06:59.800 Interesting.

01:07:00.900 It feels like I'm in enemy territory.

01:07:02.380 I'm also a straight girl.

01:07:03.900 But it feels like I'm watching it.

01:07:05.220 We're so different.

01:07:07.060 But I remember seeing her shit and I'd be, I would be like, man, I can't relate to anything

01:07:11.160 less.

01:07:11.440 That's cool though.

01:07:12.140 That is, that is crazy.

01:07:13.740 10,000 followers.

01:07:14.940 That's what I mean.

01:07:15.600 You were there.

01:07:16.440 Literally a year later, I was like, what the fuck?

01:07:18.940 When I saw her, I was like, Jason literally told me, she was like, I think that's the

01:07:22.480 girl you showed me that one time.

01:07:23.800 Remember that girl you were watching all night and writing things down about?

01:07:28.020 She blew up.

01:07:28.580 I look at my hands like the power I hold.

01:07:31.960 Who do I pick next?

01:07:34.120 The King might as such.

01:07:35.460 Who am I going to touch next?

01:07:36.600 I do have a few faves that I love to watch.

01:07:39.780 Like I just randomly, they'll come across my shit and I'm like, oh, my show is on.

01:07:43.640 Perfect.

01:07:44.640 Have you ever heard of Dr.

01:07:45.720 Parkinstein?

01:07:47.040 No.

01:07:48.080 I'm about to put y'all on.

01:07:49.620 Make sure you write this down.

01:07:50.940 Dr.

01:07:51.440 Parkinstein.

01:07:52.140 He's literally this guy.

01:07:53.980 He lives, I think in Texas.

01:07:55.480 He is obsessed with like the early 1900s period.

01:08:00.160 So it's like anything past 1934, get out of town.

01:08:03.200 He, all of his, his apartment, his appliances, his cars, everything from like 1910 to 1920.

01:08:09.360 Like all of the, he dresses like that.

01:08:11.780 He also dances like they did back then.

01:08:14.400 He makes, he makes.

01:08:15.640 He moves.

01:08:16.120 He, rah.

01:08:16.800 Yeah.

01:08:17.400 He does.

01:08:17.920 What does he call it?

01:08:19.000 Fuck the Charleston.

01:08:20.140 He does it all the time.

01:08:21.440 He'll post an eight minute video and it's just him doing that one move for eight minutes.

01:08:24.880 I'll watch every minute.

01:08:26.240 I'm not.

01:08:26.520 I need the link.

01:08:27.440 He's got a fan in me.

01:08:28.520 I watch it every time.

01:08:29.640 I'm like, yes.

01:08:30.220 Every time I see him, I'm like, Dr.

01:08:31.440 Parkinstein, yes.

01:08:32.280 People that are so themselves.

01:08:34.300 I love him.

01:08:35.400 I'm obsessed with him.

01:08:36.160 His life is in black and white.

01:08:37.540 Like he's like, these cool cats down the street are trying to get me.

01:08:41.280 He puts these like end cards on his videos too.

01:08:44.900 And it's literally an old timey photograph of himself that he had someone take and turn

01:08:49.100 into an old photograph.

01:08:49.940 He's older?

01:08:50.540 No, he's like 22.

01:08:52.500 That's why I was like, he's also a genius.

01:08:54.460 Like I see him build cars and shit.

01:08:56.620 Yeah.

01:08:56.840 Like his old, like old, old, old, like Ford, like trucks, like 1920 cars.

01:09:02.200 He fixes them up and drives them around town and he's wearing, he's like, and he has a

01:09:05.920 little hat on.

01:09:07.060 That's what social media was supposed to be.

01:09:09.540 I'm telling you.

01:09:10.340 People with these niche interests who are just like, this is my life.

01:09:13.680 Like if you like it, if it's not for you, whatever.

01:09:16.140 Yes.

01:09:16.680 I'm obsessed.

01:09:17.320 Yeah.

01:09:17.480 You've got to send it to me.

01:09:18.700 I will.

01:09:19.240 And there's another woman I watch on and she's Australian.

01:09:22.440 Her name's Fadon.

01:09:23.960 She's a marriage lawyer.

01:09:25.480 Like she helps with divorces and stuff in Australia.

01:09:27.800 Oh, love that.

01:09:28.780 No particular reason to love her other than she makes platters.

01:09:32.080 Like she makes her own like charcuterie boards, like at home and shit.

01:09:34.880 A girl has a hobby.

01:09:35.840 Yes.

01:09:36.200 And she's a working mom.

01:09:37.400 And she's literally just like, it's, she goes Saturday, platter.

01:09:40.340 Saturday.

01:09:40.960 She always says that.

01:09:42.000 And she goes, Saturday night, we eat platters.

01:09:44.380 Why?

01:09:44.700 Because we don't fucking cook on Saturdays.

01:09:46.060 I dead ass.

01:09:46.660 She says it every time.

01:09:47.700 She's a white woman.

01:09:49.040 Y'all love when white people rhyme.

01:09:51.840 Saturday, platter day.

01:09:52.760 I'm in.

01:09:53.440 I'm locked in.

01:09:54.600 And she has a bunch of different kinds of platters.

01:09:56.280 She cuts everything by hand, puts it all, 15 minute videos.

01:09:59.560 I'm watching the whole goddamn thing.

01:10:00.680 I'm sitting there.

01:10:01.080 I'm like, I get caught up in like storylines.

01:10:04.660 Like right now I'm doing a storyline where, um, this woman is like fighting the healthcare

01:10:09.480 system for one of her clients.

01:10:11.000 And she like keeps calling these people and she's like, but she's a doctor.

01:10:15.260 So she's like very disappointed.

01:10:17.160 And I'm like, that means she's fucking pissed, bitch.

01:10:20.320 And then you have to go back, go to their thing, go down to recently posted and then

01:10:23.660 you have to like catch up on all your lore.

01:10:25.940 Yeah.

01:10:26.060 It's going slow.

01:10:26.820 Cause it's the healthcare system and insurance companies, but I'm there every day checking

01:10:31.020 in.

01:10:32.600 I know every time, sometimes I forget and I'm like, I want to follow them.

01:10:36.020 And then I just follow them.

01:10:37.160 They never follow me back.

01:10:38.220 Like random accounts like that, but I don't give a fuck.

01:10:40.080 I, yeah.

01:10:40.620 I just follow them.

01:10:41.260 Cause I'm like, I got to keep up with you.

01:10:42.700 Sometimes it's like, I'm okay.

01:10:43.940 Not being your vibe, but you're definitely mine.

01:10:47.360 I'm like, this woman probably wouldn't like me that much.

01:10:49.560 I was like with her.

01:10:50.760 But you got a fan in me.

01:10:52.040 Right.

01:10:53.380 I am supporting you.

01:10:54.820 For sure.

01:10:55.340 I love, um, Disney people too.

01:10:58.640 I love watching them.

01:11:00.440 Yeah.

01:11:00.620 I'm married to one of those.

01:11:03.440 One of those.

01:11:04.140 I do love Disney, but not to that extent.

01:11:06.380 Like the extent that they go, they'd be saying shit that I'm like, what?

01:11:10.320 Like, what are you talking about?

01:11:11.440 Like they're like, Oh, these new drops just dropped in this store and all the pins.

01:11:15.900 The three pin Monday.

01:11:16.920 Right.

01:11:17.380 Very familiar.

01:11:18.180 Right.

01:11:18.620 Yeah.

01:11:18.760 I got like Blake's pop nook.

01:11:20.080 Love him.

01:11:21.200 Megan, the magical millennial.

01:11:22.760 You ever heard of her clock that tea?

01:11:25.200 If you like it, clock that tea girl.

01:11:27.280 Yeah.

01:11:27.520 I'm making the magical millennial.

01:11:28.880 Love her.

01:11:29.380 I didn't know it would be that serious.

01:11:31.300 And then I get there and Holland's like, Hey, go.

01:11:33.680 And I'm like, like loser.

01:11:36.000 I'm like, you need to wear a sparkly hat or something.

01:11:38.440 So I can find you.

01:11:39.420 I mean, it just, she, she knew the routes to get to places.

01:11:43.080 I mean, I think we did like 24 miles.

01:11:45.960 I'm like, that's a marathon.

01:11:47.000 You did 20,000 steps.

01:11:49.360 Yeah.

01:11:49.500 I can't, I can't walk the next morning.

01:11:51.600 She's like, we got, we got another thing to explore.

01:11:53.620 We got another day.

01:11:54.340 So let's get up.

01:11:54.940 She's like, we're doing two parks today.

01:11:56.600 We got the park hopper.

01:11:57.800 And I'm like, can I get a wheelchair?

01:11:59.540 Girl, what does any of this mean?

01:12:01.240 Right.

01:12:01.340 Yeah.

01:12:01.800 I went to Disney world for my brother's birthday.

01:12:04.160 He wanted, that's why we were in Florida.

01:12:05.400 Cause he wanted to drink around the world.

01:12:07.160 Oh yeah.

01:12:07.820 In Disney world, which we didn't even end up doing, went to two countries and gave up cause

01:12:11.480 it was too hot.

01:12:12.280 And, but we went to all four parks in one day, which is just crazy town.

01:12:16.480 Insane.

01:12:18.060 She's like, unbelievable.

01:12:19.580 You don't do it like that.

01:12:20.820 Two at most.

01:12:22.160 Two at most, Drew.

01:12:23.660 And, uh, I remember we went on the dinosaur ride.

01:12:27.380 Have you ever been on that ride?

01:12:28.680 Yes.

01:12:29.140 Yes.

01:12:29.760 You guys have been looking at her going, yes.

01:12:32.580 I like blacked out.

01:12:33.380 I was like, I was, it was fight or flight.

01:12:36.740 It was, we went on the dinosaur ride.

01:12:38.440 It's like, kind of like, it's just, you're in a car and then you're going through and it's

01:12:41.900 like bumpy, but it's the one where you're looking for a dinosaur, but the whole entire

01:12:46.360 ride is pitch black.

01:12:48.280 Okay.

01:12:48.800 Oh, this is.

01:12:49.380 Oh, my head was probably down the whole time.

01:12:50.980 Yeah.

01:12:51.160 I'm scared of the dark.

01:12:51.660 This is what you should know about me.

01:12:52.360 I have megalophobia, which is like a fear of anything way too large, like anything way

01:12:57.460 too big.

01:12:58.060 Okay.

01:12:58.340 So like most like animatronics scare the fuck out of me.

01:13:01.280 Like when I walked in here, you were like, hold on.

01:13:03.440 I said, ah, who's stomping on in here?

01:13:06.460 It's me.

01:13:07.820 And I said, oh, that's just Allie.

01:13:09.300 Anyways, I'm.

01:13:09.860 I'm not worried anymore.

01:13:10.580 Anyways, you're, so you're scared of big things.

01:13:12.520 Yes.

01:13:12.760 I'm terrified of them.

01:13:13.960 Like every time you get successful, you're like, it's too big.

01:13:16.400 Yes.

01:13:16.780 Too big.

01:13:17.080 Too big.

01:13:17.880 I'm just screaming.

01:13:18.420 Too strong.

01:13:20.140 Like the avatar, like the blue avatar movies.

01:13:23.460 Yeah.

01:13:23.660 Like I spiritually feel very connected to those movies, but the size of those aliens scares

01:13:29.440 the fuck out of me.

01:13:30.280 Yeah.

01:13:30.560 Is it open things?

01:13:32.220 It's more so like mammals or animals of any kind that are large.

01:13:35.540 She's like, if a hippopotam, I'm like, what's the big, big ocean?

01:13:40.520 And you're like, no, really the hippo.

01:13:41.620 Exactly.

01:13:42.080 Like if I saw a couch that was really big, I wouldn't be afraid.

01:13:44.680 But whales scared the fuck out of me.

01:13:46.620 Yeah.

01:13:47.020 Like, have you ever seen Life of Pi?

01:13:49.560 Where he's on the boat with the.

01:13:50.980 Yeah.

01:13:51.320 The tiger.

01:13:51.920 Yes.

01:13:52.140 But there's a scene where like a whale like shoots up right next to him.

01:13:55.940 Yeah.

01:13:56.040 I would have killed myself that night.

01:13:57.460 I'm not making it.

01:13:58.420 Sorry.

01:13:58.920 How?

01:13:59.180 I would have just.

01:14:01.400 You're trying to drown yourself.

01:14:02.940 You look down the ocean.

01:14:04.080 I just lay flat.

01:14:05.200 I'd lay flat.

01:14:05.900 Me thinking it out.

01:14:06.640 I really did.

01:14:07.180 I would literally lay flat with my head face down in the water and I just accept my fate.

01:14:10.700 The ocean just feels so big to me.

01:14:12.780 That feels like I'm trying to understand.

01:14:14.520 Something would have killed me way before that.

01:14:16.660 But if for some reason I did survive to that point, I'm dying that night.

01:14:20.860 I do think about that.

01:14:22.000 How long do you think you last in bad situations?

01:14:24.580 Not long.

01:14:25.260 Like zombie apocalypse.

01:14:26.900 How many days till you try to end it?

01:14:29.160 Probably a couple days.

01:14:30.460 I fight for a year and then I'm gone.

01:14:33.980 The iPhone batteries.

01:14:36.120 They're so weak nowadays.

01:14:37.480 Yeah.

01:14:37.700 Once my AirPods die, I'm out.

01:14:39.600 What the fuck?

01:14:40.240 Everybody gets a cold around you and you're like, well, no.

01:14:42.660 Yeah.

01:14:43.080 Don't be coughing on me.

01:14:44.120 Or actually cough directly in my mouth.

01:14:45.340 I want to die too.

01:14:46.060 Like I'm real suicide packed.

01:14:48.080 Like that's what I'm doing.

01:14:49.120 Yeah.

01:14:49.460 Any like Handmaid's Tale situation, like apocalyptic.

01:14:52.540 I'm out.

01:14:53.880 I'm out.

01:14:54.640 But.

01:14:55.220 You don't, you don't fight a little bit.

01:14:56.880 You just seem like such a fighter.

01:14:58.040 I, yeah.

01:14:58.960 Until it gets to a point.

01:14:59.980 Right.

01:15:01.220 I'm like, what's the point?

01:15:03.100 I'm also, I also do like, I think about, well, I said this in an, in a podcast once.

01:15:07.760 Cause he had asked me that joke, that jokingly like, Oh, Handmaid's Tale situation.

01:15:11.780 And I was like, I'm killing myself easily.

01:15:13.840 Like suicide pack.

01:15:15.020 And he's like, really?

01:15:15.820 I go, well, no, actually what I think I would do would, I would surrender myself to like the

01:15:19.760 home base.

01:15:20.600 But then I would just rip my shirt off and I bomb strapped to my chest and take as many

01:15:24.000 people out as possible.

01:15:24.620 Right.

01:15:24.820 You've thought about it.

01:15:25.640 Yeah.

01:15:25.740 I'm going out.

01:15:26.300 What if I, this is my thing though.

01:15:28.040 What if I told you that there were 200 women in a room with a man who was verbally abusing

01:15:33.840 them, abusing them?

01:15:34.780 Well then yeah, I'd jump in on that action.

01:15:36.440 You'd be like, okay, maybe a year.

01:15:38.820 I'll map it out.

01:15:39.820 Until that's done and he's dead, then I'm dead.

01:15:42.860 You're like, I don't know.

01:15:44.600 Well, I said, well, is that it?

01:15:46.280 All right.

01:15:46.640 I'm out.

01:15:47.120 Yeah.

01:15:47.520 And I think I like, do you think you would survive?

01:15:49.680 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:15:50.920 By choice or just for like, like you can't kill yourself.

01:15:55.780 Like you take yourself out or you think you would be killed?

01:15:58.840 Both.

01:15:59.360 Both.

01:15:59.640 Both.

01:16:00.080 I just don't, I don't think I have any good qualities for survival.

01:16:03.700 You know, I don't, I think I'm small.

01:16:05.780 Like I can't really hide.

01:16:07.300 Well, my fluorescent skin is going to come.

01:16:09.500 Like I'm trying to hide in the, I'm trying to hide in the mud and they're like, okay.

01:16:13.240 Allie, get up.

01:16:13.940 I can see you.

01:16:14.640 You're shining.

01:16:16.380 It's like twilight.

01:16:17.620 They're like, we knew where to come because we saw you glistening.

01:16:20.780 Right.

01:16:21.240 This thing that Caliphant actually told me that exact thing.

01:16:23.240 She's like, I know no trades.

01:16:24.540 I'm like useless.

01:16:25.520 Yeah.

01:16:25.980 But then I was like, but you can sing.

01:16:27.540 So you'd be like that bitch in the hunger game.

01:16:29.960 Yeah.

01:16:30.300 Rachel Ziegler's character.

01:16:31.360 Yeah.

01:16:31.600 Lucy gray.

01:16:32.280 Yeah.

01:16:32.460 You'd be her.

01:16:32.940 Right.

01:16:33.540 I have nothing.

01:16:34.720 No.

01:16:35.080 Other than being funny.

01:16:36.080 No, no, no, no.

01:16:37.080 I think you got it.

01:16:38.040 Yeah.

01:16:38.340 Now, if it's a planet of the ape situation, I would think, I think I would survive because

01:16:44.000 I would make peace with the monkeys.

01:16:45.340 I feel like we would have a real mutual understanding.

01:16:47.940 Yeah.

01:16:48.500 Like to each other.

01:16:49.520 Like we're cool.

01:16:50.980 Uh-huh.

01:16:51.460 We're the monkeys.

01:16:53.060 Well, that sounds like a good situation for you.

01:16:54.900 But once again, I think they fuck me up.

01:16:56.700 I think they fuck me in every.

01:16:58.700 They'd be like, this one's too pale and too weak.

01:17:00.500 Too pale.

01:17:00.960 And I don't like her vibe.

01:17:02.460 Honestly.

01:17:03.460 Honestly, I think she should be the first to go.

01:17:05.120 I mean, honestly, she's kind of a fucking bitch.

01:17:06.740 Right.

01:17:07.220 My bad.

01:17:08.040 And I'm out.

01:17:08.760 And I'm out.

01:17:09.540 And I like respect that too.

01:17:10.720 So I'm like, take me.

01:17:11.640 That's fair.

01:17:12.520 That's what I said when I've been like, I think I'm too annoying to survive.

01:17:15.840 Like they would kill me because they'd be like, oh my God, kill her.

01:17:18.680 She's annoying.

01:17:19.100 I just have a lot of bad ideas.

01:17:22.860 Like somebody's like, there's a noise down there.

01:17:24.520 And I'm like, I'll go check.

01:17:25.460 They're like, no worries.

01:17:26.460 I'll be right back.

01:17:27.360 Yeah.

01:17:27.660 They're like, you're not supposed to.

01:17:28.980 Have you seen a movie fucking ever?

01:17:30.960 Like do not go down there.

01:17:32.880 And then you're just kind of like, sure.

01:17:34.420 I think it's the Aries in you.

01:17:35.620 Yeah.

01:17:35.960 I do too.

01:17:36.540 I think I'm like too curious.

01:17:37.620 I heard, I would hear a noise and like run towards it.

01:17:40.000 And they're like, bad decision.

01:17:41.320 As usual, Allie, you continue to amaze us.

01:17:44.360 Okay, one last fun fact, but it's actually, I'm going to ask you if you can debunk this

01:17:50.460 one because we're not sure if it's true, but it was on Google.

01:17:53.420 Sure.

01:17:53.880 It says AI Google says that Allie and her wife met rock climbing.

01:17:58.680 That is, they're pushing something on us.

01:18:03.580 They met at a Subaru dealership.

01:18:06.080 They were both wearing Chacos.

01:18:07.800 Right.

01:18:09.140 Pride flag.

01:18:10.060 They both had pride colored hair.

01:18:11.880 So they related on that.

01:18:13.560 Right.

01:18:13.780 Yeah.

01:18:14.100 No, no, no.

01:18:14.640 That's not true.

01:18:15.640 So we, so we don't like to say where we met on the internet or anything about like getting

01:18:21.960 married and stuff just because I think people are so quick.

01:18:24.740 I would never post a wedding on TikTok because I think they dissect it.

01:18:28.480 Right.

01:18:28.920 And they're like, oh, not how I do it.

01:18:30.840 And it's like, well, I don't really give a damn if you don't like salmon.

01:18:33.020 Well, good thing you didn't marry me.

01:18:34.540 Yeah.

01:18:34.940 You would hate it.

01:18:35.900 For you, bullet dodge.

01:18:37.520 Thank God.

01:18:38.080 Yeah.

01:18:38.240 So no rock climbing.

01:18:39.460 Not at all.

01:18:40.100 I did.

01:18:40.720 I used to tell people, I said, we met in a parking lot.

01:18:42.940 Cause Holland hit me with her car.

01:18:44.840 And like, people love that.

01:18:46.120 I was like, I was like, it was nice because I was such a hoe, you know?

01:18:49.180 And it was the first time somebody had hit it and stayed.

01:18:52.640 I was like, she gave me CPR.

01:18:54.280 It was our first kiss.

01:18:54.980 And they were like eating it up.

01:18:56.120 I was like, this is so like, you know, this has to be like, I'm lying.

01:18:59.540 I'm actively lying to you.

01:19:00.980 And you know, I am like, don't make me say it.

01:19:04.360 Honestly, it's kind of hurting my feelings that you believed me so easily.

01:19:06.840 Right.

01:19:08.600 Can I be district?

01:19:09.680 No, not rock climbing.

01:19:10.980 No, we did do rock climbing.

01:19:12.680 We had an awesome gym in Pittsburgh.

01:19:15.160 But that started like three years ago, maybe.

01:19:18.760 Or something.

01:19:19.500 Like we, we had been, we were, yeah.

01:19:21.660 No.

01:19:21.820 Man, AI Google is also being very homophobic.

01:19:24.860 They also said I'm 31 on there.

01:19:27.480 And like, it's starting to get a little unfair.

01:19:30.020 Like there was a rumor that went around that Holland and I had an age gap and we're like

01:19:33.780 16 months apart or something.

01:19:35.500 And like, it blew up and people were like, ooh, a 12 year age gap.

01:19:39.800 And I was like, not one.

01:19:41.500 12 years?

01:19:42.040 Not one comment said, no way.

01:19:46.760 They just immediately started calling you a predator.

01:19:48.780 Everybody, yeah.

01:19:49.680 I was like, not one person said, damn, need her skincare.

01:19:52.680 Everyone was like, yikes.

01:19:53.900 Everyone was like, that makes a lot of sense.

01:19:56.420 I was like, I was like, and I looked pretty, I like looked in the censored comments.

01:20:02.220 Not one of you wants to correct this, huh?

01:20:04.140 Right.

01:20:04.440 That's kind of fucked up.

01:20:05.180 Not one of you wants to take up for me?

01:20:06.660 Who, well, who's, who's older?

01:20:08.620 Not, not none of that.

01:20:10.000 I don't believe that.

01:20:11.120 They look really old.

01:20:12.220 Everyone said, Holland, Holland, really?

01:20:15.100 Allie would do that?

01:20:16.280 And I'm like, what if Holland's the predator?

01:20:19.120 How come I'm the oldie?

01:20:20.460 And I asked, I said, what if, what if Holland's the predator?

01:20:23.040 And they said, oh no.

01:20:24.100 They said, she would never and don't ever talk about her like that again.

01:20:27.120 They said, have you seen her skin?

01:20:30.180 I said, okay.

01:20:31.060 They said, ask her for her skincare routine for me.

01:20:32.880 I had four skincare brand, uh, brand deals coming through.

01:20:35.880 All of them dropped.

01:20:38.780 They said.

01:20:39.500 They said, no skin like that.

01:20:41.640 Oh, we thought it was your wife.

01:20:43.200 They said, yeah.

01:20:43.860 They said real hot, a 26 year old, 13 months ago.

01:20:46.760 Who, who, who, who people think is 40?

01:20:48.980 I don't think they're going to, they don't want the recipe to that one.

01:20:51.880 Yeah.

01:20:52.280 Yeah.

01:20:52.440 Yeah.

01:20:57.220 Yeah.

01:20:57.400 Oh, yeah.

01:20:57.660 I don't know.

01:20:58.860 Yeah.

01:21:00.260 Yeah.

01:21:01.340 Yeah.

01:21:03.780 Yeah.

01:21:05.260 Yeah.

01:21:06.160 Yeah.

01:21:06.800 Yeah.

01:21:08.320 Yeah.

01:21:12.900 Yeah.

01:21:13.540 Yeah.

01:21:14.420 Yeah.

01:21:14.760 Yeah.

01:21:16.520 Yeah.

01:21:17.340 you were talking about your skincare routine and everybody said they didn't want it

01:21:33.380 everyone said yours is terrible yeah we posted a video the next day because i thought it would

01:21:38.300 get traction and holland's blew up and mine was like you're like right okay baby well what is

01:21:45.240 your morning routine so i try to wake up as soon as possible right that's essential to waking up in

01:21:51.040 the morning 10 30 you know i wake up i splash some water on the face i use some drew's favorite

01:21:56.780 products i do a red bull and then i go on a run there you go i'll run no bouldering no bouldering

01:22:04.280 anymore no now you're into running you can be a marathon person i'm just i'm running away from

01:22:08.900 a lot of things lately need something right keep me pushing distracted out of breath can't think

01:22:14.500 but enough time and energy to do your morning routine always hopefully with products from

01:22:20.980 sephora wouldn't that be so nice i would love that period

01:22:25.940 i've never had i did have at one point when you would google my name and i think they've changed

01:22:47.000 it since maybe it's because i was bitching about it but like the only picture that would pop up

01:22:51.740 was literally it was a glam like it was like a getty photo from a carpet i did years ago so i

01:22:58.260 hate the fucking hairstyle and i hate the makeup and so does my my hair makeup artist we both hate

01:23:03.300 it collectively i don't know what we thought we were doing but it's not just that picture it's my

01:23:08.220 head turned into like a fat head so it's like it's like blown out it's expanded yeah it looks like

01:23:14.640 that picture of patrick or no squidward when patrick sits on his face and it's just two big butt cheeks

01:23:19.100 like that's literally what my face looks like and it was just in like my hair is slicked back like

01:23:24.240 this so i look bald i'm sure the lighting's not great and i literally took a picture of it because

01:23:28.320 i was like why the fuck is this the only picture that pops up when you google me how come everyone's

01:23:32.980 like oh my god mine's so cute and that's what mine fucking looks yeah so what happens is they

01:23:36.980 actually go to your worst enemy and have them pick the photo and then that's it forever the person

01:23:41.000 who hates you the most they're like pick a photo for her do it also there was a thing going

01:23:46.160 around for a while that men like genuinely did not believe i was tall like at all like they thought i

01:23:51.380 was just constantly lying about it which i i would lie about that don't get me wrong but like i'm not

01:23:55.940 lying about it no i absolutely would and if i was gonna lie i would say i was like six four right

01:24:00.120 because that's taller than most men there's all there's never you're not gonna it's gonna be a

01:24:04.200 purposeful lie yeah okay i'm lying for a go big or go home right i'd say i'm like six nine by that

01:24:08.900 measure are you right at six foot yes so they hate that because they're all claiming six foot yeah

01:24:13.400 absolutely and then if i can see your scalp you're looking more like a five ten look and i need to

01:24:18.480 get more on your vibe you take three inches i took two yeah it's the same thing like when i tell men

01:24:23.100 like when i insult them and i just bring up height i don't even know how tall they are um i just say

01:24:27.300 five six because that's like the funniest height to me because it's it's short but not that short

01:24:33.720 but short for a guy for a guy right for girls but it's fine because you're six two right five eight

01:24:39.540 also like alona mar have you met alona mar oh my gosh have i okay alona is the shortest out of

01:24:46.180 her siblings and she's like five ten yeah so her sisters are are much taller than her like her

01:24:52.760 youngest sister i think is like six two uh-huh yeah i was like big women big one of us she's a legend

01:24:59.300 yeah i'm like i'm like whenever she posts i'm like wherever you need us we'll go

01:25:03.640 she's like i think she's like i think i got the apocalypse anything let her do it yeah i i follow

01:25:10.040 her i wouldn't follow us me too i'm we met her in a uh we met her at the mall at the grove

01:25:15.640 and i like look over and i'm like hi she's like you're that little tiktoker yeah no she's so nice

01:25:23.800 i get it yeah she's great and then we got to see her on dancing with the stars love her legend she's

01:25:29.440 fantastic love her i'm glad to hear that you and your wife did not meet rock climbing no that

01:25:33.920 would be way too cliche that would that does sound like i hate that you even put it out into the

01:25:38.640 universe because like start that rumor now like there's a lesbian movie coming now

01:25:43.840 there it's coming falling in love rock climbing right falling there you go in love tm tm ali tm did

01:25:51.920 already the the climb by miley oh you're writing it for them right you're writing it for them i'll

01:26:00.320 collect the check were you guys big big rock climbers did you guys like i like got a little

01:26:04.320 too into it and then you have to back up right you got to back up yeah i'm glad you said that because

01:26:09.200 i do i do have i don't feel good about it but i do have kind of a judgment about people who love rock

01:26:14.400 no yeah and i i probably relate to it a lot and it there's something about it like i just feel like

01:26:20.160 like like one time someone on our other podcast said that she got a major ick from a dude who loved

01:26:26.320 rock climbing because he said and i think it was like a quote he said it's like the intellectual like

01:26:33.200 puzzle p like puzzling athlete of athletics or some bullshit like that it made me so angry i started

01:26:39.680 shaking yeah what the fuck are you talking about it's fake anything that's fake like that like it's

01:26:44.880 like you're fake climbing a mountain you know like it's like the people who are really good at the

01:26:49.120 game where you drive the car yeah like f1 kind of racing yeah yeah it's like well you're not there

01:26:53.840 so relax yeah you're not actually doing it so relax i the reason why i got into it is because i was like

01:26:59.040 i want to be active but i'll do anything but go to the gym that's fair so home's like rock climbing and

01:27:04.800 i was like ah every day we pulled up in the subaru i was like but i like feels hot on the hat it was my

01:27:13.200 it was so queer friendly i was like i love it here love too much

01:27:19.040 no it was great well no wonder you were getting so into it yeah safe space uh-huh was it like

01:27:23.200 bouldering or was it like it was bouldering but i i would never correct you

01:27:30.080 you say rock climbing on my show right i'm chained to this chair that's why i know well the difference

01:27:35.680 is that bouldering you don't have any harnesses or anything right right well gays always wear the

01:27:40.560 harness i'm always they're like you're bouldering i'm like yeah but i still have the harness

01:27:45.440 i brought my harness from home right uh yeah yeah no harness so you just fall like 20 feet

01:27:51.040 shit onto a mat right pretty then you get back up again and that's the story of life right and

01:27:57.440 that's how we met she helped you up like this yeah we were both climbing and we locked eyes and i was like

01:28:04.640 like all of a sudden you're really good at it you know that's that it's crazy how everything is

01:28:11.040 connecting but i had said once i was like i think that jason momoa loves bouldering like he loves he

01:28:18.560 loves shit like that yeah which i have said and i don't stand by this in case i ever meet him

01:28:23.920 he might be annoying right but like sometimes it's okay though i'm annoying right in other ways i just

01:28:32.320 think that pete like let them i feel like mel gibson let them it's fine some people are annoying it's

01:28:40.560 fine don't hang out with them but you can be annoying in many different ways right you don't

01:28:44.960 but the the area is not all the time sometimes we have to take a break you gotta pace that's why

01:28:50.640 like you're a little too into it right take a step back take a step back look in the mirror

01:28:55.520 and attack again when ready when i've struck balance right i can re-enter and i'll know when

01:29:01.840 that is yeah you'll sense it one day you'll wake up right well thank you so much for coming on the

01:29:07.040 show thanks for having me love you i love you you're so fun i'm so glad our cross paths oh my gosh

01:29:12.720 obviously paths crossed don't correct me yellow road all over again i'm so glad yeah we all gotta

01:29:22.880 hang out you me victoria paris and some boulder what a group oh let's just drink let's just boulder

01:29:31.920 let's just see where the wind takes us yeah yeah well thank you so much for coming on the show i think

01:29:36.320 you're fucking hilarious and so fun thank you and for those who don't know where can everybody find you

01:29:41.840 you can find me by searching my name ali belairs no e a-l-l-i-b-e-l-l-a-i-r-s period and

01:29:50.720 hopefully see you on tour soon and hopefully see you come with me opening oh okay gee let me know

01:29:55.440 you headline i'll open i'll sit in the crowd and calling to the same you know i do have some notes

01:30:03.440 yeah thank you thank you thank you all so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section

01:30:07.840 thank you to my amazing guest ali don't forget to follow ali on literally everything she's hilarious

01:30:12.080 and so fun and thank you all so much for joining us don't forget new episodes of the comment section

01:30:15.680 come out every wednesday you can stream the audio on all streaming platforms with the video list for

01:30:19.440 free and exclusively on our favorite platform spotify thank you so much to my amazing guest ali

01:30:24.000 thank you so much to all of you and i'll see you next week bye

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - August 06, 2025

SO YOU’RE TYPE A？ Ft. Alli Bellairs ｜ Episode 181

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