The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - MONET WAS A LADY OF THE NIGHT Ft. Monet X Change ｜ Drew Afualo ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 70

00:00:00.000 my first time getting high ever i got high off a dab with the blowtorch and oh girl and i drank

00:00:07.360 absinthe for the first time that night talk about a death wish the way i was like i was

00:00:12.120 speaking mandarin after that girl i could i could read hieroglyphics when i was at that state

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00:01:19.600 casino.com for details please play responsibly hey everyone and welcome back to another episode

00:01:24.700 of the comment section show starring me your favorite everybody knows me who cares about me

00:01:28.840 on to the very very special guest it is my honor to introduce the one and only monet exchange 0.97

00:01:34.540 i'm so excited i'm so happy that i'm here i am obsessed with you same bitch you're so funny 1.00

00:01:43.500 you're gorgeous and you be dragging these hoes i live i love it period honestly i do my best so good 1.00

00:01:52.140 it's you know what it's a hard job but someone's got to do it and we're grateful that we have you

00:01:56.080 but honestly as as like a drag superstar reading is in your guys's culture it is dragging roasting

00:02:04.420 all of that yeah it really is is it's it's ingrained into queer culture especially drag and

00:02:09.440 the war room scene and honestly i love it it has given me very thick skin but also my family that's

00:02:14.560 like that's kind of how my family is like we are constantly like making little jokes on each other

00:02:18.740 yeah really close group core friends yeah we like we like read each other all the time too so it

00:02:24.040 just really just prepares you to just like whatever you have to say in the comments girl i've heard it

00:02:28.380 10 times before and doesn't matter people who make more money than you and look better than you so

00:02:32.440 and boy that's gotta sting

00:02:34.800 i say that too about when people ask me like oh like how did you start doing this like a lot of times

00:02:42.200 they attribute it to like oh you probably got broken up with or you know whatever i'm like no my mom's

00:02:47.860 just mean like that's really what it is down which is funny and she's my bestie you know what i mean

00:02:53.600 that girl's my twin i feel that like my i have i have an immigrant mob mother who did not take any 0.67

00:02:59.060 she's not she does not spare any punches i hear the real rip every time she opens her mouth and so 1.00

00:03:03.940 it's like and that's like i feel like lots of minority families have that in common yeah because

00:03:09.020 we all like grow up like roast razzing each other it's like all in good fun like we all make fun of

00:03:13.420 each other and we love on each other at the same time but i always say that like if you're gonna

00:03:18.260 tell a joke you gotta learn to take a joke absolutely that's the art of telling jokes in

00:03:21.940 general one thousand percent i think it makes you funnier yeah and the the thing that always gags

00:03:26.200 me is that when someone is in the comment and they try to roast you and then you clap back at them

00:03:30.420 and be like no i'm just kidding i'm sorry i'm like i'm a big fan i'm like are you you just try to come

00:03:35.060 for me my grandmother my nephew my sister but but now but now you're just you're just playing you're

00:03:39.980 like i'm i'm gonna make sure you're not a fan anymore you know what i mean let's see if you're

00:03:43.360 still a fan after this and i don't always clap back i sometimes i really i let it slide but

00:03:48.620 oftentimes i do find myself clickety clacking and you know getting getting down and dirty the only

00:03:55.400 people i kind of let slide just a tiny bit but not really is just women women in general or other

00:04:01.600 people that i feel like i feel driven to protect yeah mostly because i'm like that's the patriarchy

00:04:06.780 they want me to attack you because they want us to turn against each other yeah and i won't but i 0.78

00:04:10.940 also can't save every bitch so you're on your own soldier you know what i mean like that's what i 1.00

00:04:15.360 think i'm like you're on your own hoe you sure you cannot save everybody you can't and sometimes 0.98

00:04:20.820 the calls coming from inside the house uh-huh you go you go ahead and you answer it i'm gonna be over

00:04:24.640 here but i i men i'll make all the time clear my schedule and you know what it is and again i again i'm

00:04:30.860 such a big fan of yours because you're just so smart and the way that you just dissect and like

00:04:37.020 you you gather them like pony girls you are getting you are pushing that point so you are 1.00

00:04:42.020 gathering that ponytail and that oh so smart so good sometimes i think too like because obviously

00:04:48.520 i've watched your stand-up too which is so funny it's just unbelievably funny and i also think there's

00:04:54.540 like an art in like very specific ways of making fun of people because i know you read people in the

00:04:59.980 audience sometimes yeah which is always fun especially if they're good sports yeah good

00:05:03.820 sports it's always fun um if they're not it's even funner yeah you know absolutely which is always

00:05:08.560 have you ever had like someone get kind of mad i have we did a um i did a show in pittsburgh at

00:05:13.640 the pittsburgh improv and there's this there's this one gentleman in the front sometimes when you

00:05:18.520 like you're doing a show the entire room is going up and there's like one person just kind of just

00:05:21.820 like not engaging just like refusing to laugh just refusing to laugh and i was like girl why are you 0.91

00:05:27.020 here did you get these tickets on groupon bitch like are you are you just upset that you were at 1.00

00:05:32.360 this show and he was like yeah well my girlfriend bought me on i was like you know she should have 0.99

00:05:35.420 kept your ass at home but you're not and so i didn't like go in on him because but then he ended 0.97

00:05:40.220 up coming it's always nice to win the audience member back over you know what i mean someone who's 0.99

00:05:44.720 like who's like not trying to engage and then it just can't help but getting on the fun because

00:05:49.240 you're good at what you do yeah and that always feels even better to me to read them a little bit but

00:05:53.940 enough to make them still want to join to kind of like laugh a little yeah laugh a little i know

00:05:57.480 sometimes when i mean the men that i make fun of are just awful yeah but like sometimes i'm like i

00:06:03.220 know i got you a little you laughed a little come on be honest i called someone recently an adult

00:06:11.100 magician i was you do like magic like sleight of hand on the las vegas boulevard he didn't laugh i said

00:06:18.060 i got you a little just a little come on because we all know that guy we all know that guy girl

00:06:23.280 well i think you should you should do stand-up i you are very funny and i thank you because i'm i'm

00:06:29.220 kind of like you where before i like did stand-up i did drag yeah i was doing like you know six shows

00:06:35.240 a week in new york city oh my god i'm hosting and new york city drag is a little different in other

00:06:39.320 places because in new york um whereas in a lot of places like la and chicago and places it's like

00:06:44.060 one queen is the host and you have like six girls coming up and do a number go away go do 0.98

00:06:48.100 a number go away yeah new york it's different it's like one girl it was me on stage for two hours

00:06:53.280 and two hours two hours six nights a week you know what i mean oh my god six shows a week i would do

00:06:58.760 every show um monday through friday um and then two no it's seven shows monday through friday then

00:07:03.480 two shows on saturday okay so more than what you told me but like it was it was me on stage

00:07:09.900 entertaining a room of drunk uh gay dudes uh and you know so it was a bachelorette parties 0.96

00:07:16.640 bachelorette parties like it's my birthday shut up rebecca i know it's your birthday this is jesus 0.97

00:07:21.880 christ we're 10 minutes into the show girl do some time and then so like i really so i back then i was

00:07:26.880 doing stand-up but i wasn't calling it stand-up so when i was talking to my agent he's like you know

00:07:31.060 you should try your hand at stand-up i was like i don't think i can do something he's like monet i've

00:07:33.960 seen your shows you you are doing something literally stand-up you know what i mean yeah yeah so i just sat

00:07:38.700 and i wrote some jokes and i got a full hour done and i and i uh i did some some dates or in bray in

00:07:45.460 different cities and then i recorded my first special with the tribeca film festival and that's

00:07:49.120 coming out next summer no way congratulations oh my god that's so awesome yeah that's why i've

00:07:55.740 talked about stand-up is literally an art forum yeah so i was like there's like a whole science to like

00:08:01.300 studying it there's like essentially it's choreography or like you're choreographing an entire routine and

00:08:06.720 then you have to memorize the whole thing and that's the part that makes me kind of nervy but 0.96

00:08:11.060 i also like i'm i know i'm no proud bitch like i i'm funny but not every funny bitch can be a stand-up 1.00

00:08:16.760 comedian which is the problem ask every white dude ever that's on stand-up from the internet like 0.92

00:08:22.940 some of them really think like should i like quit my day job like i don't think you should 0.99

00:08:29.100 yeah like the dudes who make fun of me like a lot of they just call me a fat ugly bitch 0.96

00:08:33.080 and they're like honestly someone get lauren michaels on the phone i think it's time guys 0.97

00:08:37.460 it's time put them on snl it's time tell the valvoline i give my two weeks i don't need to be

00:08:42.720 here anymore i don't need to work at autozone anymore i got it you if girl you have like a

00:08:51.560 two-hour special with all your material i'm telling you i'm sure you know what i'll think about it

00:08:56.360 that that's a vote of confidence from a pro yeah for sure there's a thing because like i you know

00:09:01.020 some of my really good friends like bianca del rio and bob they just stand up yeah um and you

00:09:05.740 know so bob and i we have our show similar rivalry our tour when it's us on stage and we have like

00:09:10.580 eight dancers and we have like the lights and we have the whole crew girls stand up it is you

00:09:14.860 a microphone and a stool okay there's no overhead and it's all reward it's just you and and like 0.99

00:09:21.540 the satisfaction of getting a room full of people to like laugh at these stupid jokes that you thought 0.96

00:09:25.260 of and then yeah it it just feels so good it must be it like that's how i think you know you're truly 0.98

00:09:30.820 funny if you could like write a whole set and have everybody in the room laughing yeah i think that

00:09:36.620 like sometimes like i'm assuming you're the funny friend too like you crack jokes everybody's like

00:09:42.220 you're like monet tell me a story sometimes i'll have people be like no drew has the funniest story

00:09:46.960 so sometimes i'll tell stories do you ever have jokes that you like you save for like certain people

00:09:51.780 oh for sure because you're like this is gonna bring the house down yeah this is gonna hit so

00:09:56.620 hard and there are some stories i've learned over time i'm like okay wrong audience wrong audience

00:10:01.280 i'm like there's certain like if i'm in a room of white people i'm like i can't tell that story

00:10:05.200 they won't laugh they will not get it won't get it they will not get it facts 100 literally on this

00:10:11.020 show like a while ago i told like a story about how like my dog almost died once he didn't he died

00:10:17.380 actually twice but he came back to life so we started calling him like john snow like every time he

00:10:21.620 came back he was a different person i think he could see spirits that's besides the point but he

00:10:26.120 he i would told that story once of like the day he first died and my mom brought him back to life

00:10:30.460 i told that to my boyfriend's family who's like they're like white like that side of his family 0.91

00:10:35.320 is white and like i told them that story at like the first lunch i ever had with them drew not the

00:10:41.780 first one because well typically that story kills so i'm like you know what i'm gonna tell the dog story

00:10:46.720 right so like i'm telling it you know when you feel the room kind of being like shrink

00:10:51.280 the room yeah they're kind of nobody's laughing and then you're like and then he lived anyways that

00:10:55.900 was it he's alive now don't worry about it it doesn't happen to me i just start adding like

00:11:01.060 things that are not true i was like maybe if i just pump in this detail you start exaggerating you

00:11:05.320 know just just it becomes the most exaggerated version of the story and if i get just at least

00:11:10.240 one laugh or a smirk i'm like well you did something yeah you know what i'm gonna take my wins

00:11:14.420 you know what i mean i'm gonna take that that's on me that when i went home i was like that's on me

00:11:18.220 yeah your mom loves dogs i shouldn't have told a story about dead dogs but i didn't i thought she

00:11:22.780 might laugh i thought we were all so what so what did your boyfriend say he's heard the story so he

00:11:27.980 laughed okay got it he's brown uh-huh and i'm brown so we both kiki laughed uh at the table he left me 0.96

00:11:35.020 high and dry oh really i was like okay bitch now you don't think it's funny because when i told this 0.99

00:11:39.980 story with my family you were laughing yesterday you was you was ha ha ha and all of a sudden 0.90

00:11:45.440 all of a sudden all of a sudden i think too like there are certain jokes that i tell and i i feel

00:11:53.480 like when you get a big laugh you're like yeah oh yes yeah got it very very rewarding and you know

00:11:59.900 and and also i love love love love a good in my stand-up a lot of it is storytelling too yeah i just

00:12:05.680 love telling stories like a story of me like being like um getting i do like a whole bit about

00:12:10.320 the the first time i fisted someone and it's um a very compelling story and the audience really you

00:12:16.880 have me hooked already the audience sitting there and everyone just like no no so that's a good one

00:12:24.000 i tell a story about me getting so i got into marijuana like i guess for for our generation late

00:12:32.640 in life like in my late 20s in my early 20s same you too my first time ever yeah yeah so like i i

00:12:38.600 got into that and then the first time i did i did i did edibles i made firecrackers oh my god yeah

00:12:43.940 and if you don't have firecrackers i look it up i don't know if we can say this on on camera i don't

00:12:46.860 want to get demonetized uh we made firecrackers and then i i ended up getting high for like not

00:12:52.940 kidding 48 hours i was high for two days i just started a new job and i went to my new job it was 0.90

00:12:58.280 were you on jupiter the whole time girl jupiter bitch i was another dimension okay i was in the 1.00

00:13:03.920 upside down okay hello demigorgons and everything yeah it was crazy but my first time getting high 0.97

00:13:12.240 ever i got high off a dab what's that the blowtorch and oh girl and i drank absinthe for the first time

00:13:19.340 that night talk about a death wish the way i was like i was speaking mandarin after that girl i could

00:13:26.000 i could read hieroglyphics when i was at that state i remember doing it and i was like oh that's

00:13:31.300 a problem you know as soon as you hit it you're like i'm gonna have to deal with that that's gonna

00:13:35.340 be an issue for me in about five minutes and i remember the room i got the spins really bad

00:13:39.980 because you're crossfaded and i remember like i was crying but like i also felt like i was made of

00:13:45.340 jelly so i was like i can't sit on anything because i'm made of jelly that's like what i was thinking in

00:13:49.280 my head and my friend was trying to rub my back she's like it's okay like trying to calm me down i was

00:13:52.900 like i love you so much but please stop touching me don't touch me girl i'm made of jelly and you're

00:13:56.560 gonna make the room jelly right so i literally fell asleep i slept for like 14 hours oh my god

00:14:02.960 crazy crazy i had no way if i had to work all week so i was just girl it was a mess that was when i was

00:14:07.220 in college my prime thoughty phase oh when i was a city girl you see in college i was still semi-closeted

00:14:13.760 so i was i was afraid so i was i was a hoe but in secret okay so no yes because that's back when 0.92

00:14:20.100 craigslist was still popping so i was i was a hoe at night not a hoe during the day you're a lady of 0.99

00:14:25.660 the night i was a lady of the night for sure girl uh-huh hopping in the auto and you know i wasn't a

00:14:30.620 classy hoe you know most hoes go for like you know the dude has like a dodge charger back then or you 1.00

00:14:36.620 know uh i was jeep cherokee a jeep cherokee i was more of a honda civic girl or um a ford uh or

00:14:43.360 or nissan maxima a maxinista as i called myself back then a maxinista yeah

00:14:48.440 that's so funny yeah my hope is i went to college where'd you go to college at i went to west

00:14:54.240 mr choir college in jersey a tiny tiny are you from the east coast yeah i'm from i'm from new

00:14:58.600 york city in brooklyn oh no way i just i've lived there for a year and a half love it love la love love

00:15:05.220 love are you from are you from i'm from southern california yeah i'm from like uh riverside county

00:15:09.880 area love i mean what was i doing all the past um 30 years of my life what why did you just oh

00:15:16.180 you just recently moved out here a year and a half oh love it yeah i'm not okay a lot of east coast

00:15:21.820 people hate when i say this i new york is growing on me i will say that but i didn't like it for a

00:15:26.500 while but a lot of people think i'm from new york i think it's because i'm mean like i'm a mean 0.85

00:15:31.520 bitch so i don't think you're mean i hate the thing though i'm confrontational you're and you're 1.00

00:15:36.100 direct yeah because new yorkers we are direct rude mean nasty people but if you are carrying a 1.00

00:15:41.960 stroller up a fight of stairs we will help you yeah exactly if you have some gum on your on your

00:15:46.100 or some tissue and the stubble on the thing we're gonna girl you got some tissue on the thing now

00:15:49.700 don't look at me don't talk to me ever again you got a little tissue on your shoe double-sided you

00:15:53.920 know it's used for good and bad you know what i mean so new yorkers are mean but we are also very

00:15:57.820 nice and helpful people oh i love that and you went to college in jersey in jersey how'd you like that

00:16:02.240 it was good jersey was very informative for me i learned how to drive in new jersey you you didn't

00:16:08.340 drive till college no because in new york we had the subway oh that's right yeah i didn't drive to

00:16:11.960 college yeah and you know it definitely um i thought it prepared me for driving in california but baby

00:16:16.700 these california drivers y'all are on something else everybody's on absinthe everybody's crossfaded

00:16:21.340 girl everyone's doing dabs and do not let a speck of rain fall out the sky all the way people are on

00:16:27.740 the one-on-one driving at two miles an hour i'm like girl it is a little rain it is a little

00:16:32.180 precipitation they can't handle rain or cold weather anything i can't either and i went to college in

00:16:37.500 hawaii so like uh because i hate cold weather well i'll say this i'd rather be hot than cold even

00:16:42.900 though i'm a sweaty bitch which makes no sense okay i am these my system's here is gonna test i am the 0.98

00:16:48.620 sweatiest bitch in the game you ain't seen sweat till you see me up in drag girl 1.00

00:16:53.440 i have a big thought just i am just sweating okay same i have a theory that if i shave my head 0.99

00:17:00.740 bald i would never sweat again but i'm not willing to test it because my head is ginormous

00:17:06.000 but i don't think it would be a look for me but i i grew i grew up here and then i went to college

00:17:12.180 in hawaii so like my fear of like colds just worsened as i like lived out there and then moved

00:17:18.760 back here again yeah like my sister went to school in oregon so she went oregon like the

00:17:23.740 oregon like university of oregon oh university of oregon with with the ducks yes yes so she went there

00:17:29.540 and i remember i visited her uh i think it was in like november yeah i was like cold it's it's

00:17:35.220 cold outside like in oregon so i'm i remember texting her i'm like hey is it cold there because

00:17:40.340 she's gonna pick me up from the airport she's like yeah um she goes i mean it's like brisk i'm not

00:17:44.620 wearing jackets and i'm like okay cool so i'm wearing like light pants and like slippers and

00:17:50.860 no jacket no girl tell me why it's like 30 degrees outside it's cold yeah and i and i'm like you told

00:17:56.440 me it wasn't cold you liar and she was like it's not cold i'm like you ever get so cold you want to 0.79

00:18:01.420 fight i hate that feeling i hate it like i don't want to feel like that just just out there fighting

00:18:06.620 to win like yeah you just see me like winding up constantly outside i don't like the thought of

00:18:13.880 having to get gift cards like my movie gift cards out of my wallet to scrape ice yeah i don't want

00:18:18.860 that yeah yeah it's not it's not great it's not great i lived in portland for for a little while

00:18:24.040 oh really i lived there for two years when i sang with portland opera i did oh i didn't work with them

00:18:29.000 she wears many hats so many hats not today because she ain't shave her head girl she's gonna keep this one 1.00

00:18:33.980 on um but so i and i love portland great dick in portland love my time there i definitely did a 0.86

00:18:39.840 lot of research um um but all the dickletage that was available to me you did a lot of research about 0.83

00:18:46.700 that yeah a lot of recon yeah a lot of recon you're like a hands-on learner oh for sure yeah i'm very

00:18:51.220 kinesthetic i can't yeah you're like i'm someone who needs to be in the field i need to i need to get

00:18:55.880 in there get my hands dirty hence the fisting story you know i need to really experience like literally

00:19:02.020 like quite literally dirty you're doing a world tour oh girl i have been around the world and i

00:19:09.260 god girl i have done research all over the world it's very fun it sounds like you've lived many

00:19:13.520 lives i've i've lived many lives and worn many hats true i love that i love that for you

00:19:18.500 okay so speaking of but not really speaking of your fisting story which is part of your stand-up

00:19:25.980 today's topic for our show is going to be the art of stand-up right and i feel like obviously we

00:19:31.640 talked a lot about or we touched on it a little bit your journey in comedy because you've been

00:19:35.240 doing you're like have you would you say you've always been a comedy queen yeah i've definitely

00:19:39.060 always been a comedy queen in my drag um and now i'm just adding the layer of like active standard

00:19:43.720 to it over the past year yeah for sure definitely been a comedy queen yeah so i think that you even

00:19:48.820 you too well you've been performing forever and like i i agree with your agent or your manager

00:19:53.720 whoever said that you you already do stand-up yeah that it's like you've been doing it for so long

00:19:58.060 now and i feel like comedy has really shifted right especially in stand-up like over the last

00:20:03.480 like five six years oh for sure yeah let alone decade oh yeah for sure i mean i mean just because

00:20:08.680 of things because we now have these computers in our hands right and and people can record whatever

00:20:13.500 they want and put it online we're seeing more different types of comedy yeah before comedy was um

00:20:18.540 it felt to be very heavily handed one in one uh place yeah but now we're seeing a lot of other types

00:20:25.500 of comedy and comedians blow up and seeing more women and more people of color and i 0.98

00:20:30.120 love love love love love it same yeah and i think too like it it's like this constant discourse of

00:20:36.840 they're like oh you're not allowed to say anything these days and i'm like well if you're being racist

00:20:41.460 then yeah you know probably not but there's ways to be i always think like if you have to be bigoted

00:20:46.180 to be funny you're not funny you're not funny like at all if if the crux if that is the crux of

00:20:50.920 humor that's the only thing that you like girl you're not funny yeah like and that's simply that

00:20:55.520 on that yeah like and i think that now that comedy has shifted so drastic drastically but i think it's

00:21:01.580 been a very slow burn now like super old like comic whether they're comedy fans or just comics in

00:21:07.900 general they're like oh like everybody only wants to see like liberal jokes or whatever they talk about

00:21:13.440 i'm like maybe they just don't want to watch you say the n-word on stage when you're a white guy you

00:21:17.320 know what i mean maybe they don't want you to want they don't want to watch you be a transphobe 0.61

00:21:20.620 maybe they just don't want to watch that you know what i mean and maybe it's not funny it blows my

00:21:25.340 mind when that's when that's that's all people take out of that is like oh everything is just

00:21:30.040 everyone can't say anything anymore like that's what you extract that's what you extrapolated

00:21:34.280 from that that that little kernel literally well and then i think too like when when you factor in

00:21:42.000 that conversation about it like because my like i'm not a stand-up person by any means but like 0.55

00:21:47.460 when i make fun of people it's like silly shit that i say because it's funny like i'll drag the hell out 0.93

00:21:52.980 of you without like being bigoted towards you i'm just gonna make you feel really really small by 0.96

00:21:57.820 stating facts yeah because it's funny let's all laugh i thought you were having fun yeah because

00:22:01.660 these same dudes will will be like you can't say anything nowadays but then at the same time if you

00:22:05.860 factor in someone like me they're like why would you do that to him why would you make fun of him

00:22:11.020 that's so mean that's not funny thought you wanted to have fun are we not all having a good time

00:22:16.660 you may joke yeah because they always say it was just a joke i'm like so are mine yeah i'm just

00:22:22.580 joking too one of us had much better jokes you don't believe me let's check tape let's check the

00:22:28.520 stats roll that beautiful mean footage baby roll it let's see who else like because i don't know do

00:22:34.000 you have a pretty large female audience or like yeah presenting audience yes anytime you know when you're 0.94

00:22:38.460 involved in social media so that we do and influence is that you do you get to like your

00:22:42.140 demographic yeah so i'm like i am about 59 percent women and women yeah oh wow yeah the girls 1.00

00:22:50.980 the girls the girls the girls they love us they really do mine's like 96 4 i'm not even kidding like

00:23:00.360 i made a video about that once and someone was like how do i do that because i really hate having

00:23:05.840 straight men on my page i was like oh it's pretty simple really um you just make them

00:23:10.360 hate you nothing moves the needle quite like that i love that when you make your whole branding about

00:23:17.420 hurting their feelings turns out they don't want to follow you very often and if they do they're 0.70

00:23:21.560 good men gay men or trans men and that's and that's and that's my cream of the crop you know

00:23:26.380 what i mean that's what we want and they're welcome and valid here okay so we're gonna be talking

00:23:31.220 about the art of stand-up we're gonna talk about you and your comedy journey and also like how hard

00:23:35.920 you've had to work in this industry and other minority people or marginalized people in general

00:23:40.400 who want to be in the comedy space versus men obviously because a lot of times i feel like

00:23:45.940 especially straight cis white dudes feel like they're like the comedy constable i deem this funny or i

00:23:52.900 deem this not funny and they're the like least funny people on the planet yeah why why who made you

00:23:58.120 the arbiter of good comedy and what is funny like who yeah and it's always self-proclaimed and

00:24:04.120 they think that they are have and they they uh assign the golden rule of comedy it's just yeah

00:24:09.180 to me sometimes not sometimes it's always so out of touch and it's just it is nonsensical yeah my

00:24:15.260 friend leo who does comedy too he was saying like if you're a dude who like like really really laughs

00:24:20.960 hard at like jackass i know i'm not gonna make you laugh i can't get to you but i was like yeah if 0.90

00:24:26.820 you're a big like getting hit in the balls fan not it's not gonna work yeah i will say 0.96

00:24:32.940 drunkly one night i watched jackass 4.5 and it was terrible and that's the two it was i was like 0.98

00:24:40.280 no it's just it can't go on forever you know what i mean and it's just like getting hurt i mean yeah

00:24:45.940 i guess prank i mean i just like i don't find pranks very funny yeah that's not my cup of tea yeah

00:24:51.960 have you ever been in a in a well have you ever been with a partner who wanted to play pranks on

00:24:57.940 you i cannot be in that relationship it would not last absolutely not i would kill somebody 0.89

00:25:02.620 i don't think it's funny if i'm showering you throw a cold water in the shower or a powder bomb 0.99

00:25:08.580 that's not funny i'll burn the house down let's see if that's funny 0.99

00:25:11.500 i don't like shit i don't like that either i don't like i don't like like uh any sort of i mean 0.99

00:25:18.700 the one thing that my family does do sometimes and by my family i mean my mom she likes to scare 1.00

00:25:23.720 people like she'll hide i'm not when i tell you this bitch will hide for like 30 minutes 1.00

00:25:28.160 like she'll literally wait i love that though it's a commitment she'll wait in the wings till you like 0.94

00:25:33.140 like she's like oh so worth it she's been in there for like an hour i'm like girl come on i love that 0.99

00:25:38.860 that's like silly shit like that that's funny but like the shit where they would like uh like do 0.99

00:25:43.540 these horrible pranks like remember that trend on youtube when it was like prank i pranked my 1.00

00:25:48.460 best friend that his mom died what that's not funny you're deranged that's insane that you that 0.82

00:25:54.320 you need to it's traumatizing you know my podcast is sponsored by better help and i would i would

00:25:59.220 i would direct them to better help slash rivalry so they can um you know literally yeah please seek

00:26:04.220 help like actually actually okay so we're what we're gonna do today on the show for those of you

00:26:10.140 that are new to the comment section what we do is we bring two videos here and we talk about them

00:26:14.560 they're applicable to our topic we kiki laugh make all the jokes all that fun stuff so for this first

00:26:19.420 video that we have uh this is a stand-up clip um it's a comedian sashir zamata tells a story about a

00:26:25.760 weird interaction she had in college where a student living down the hall from her kept asking if she knew

00:26:30.060 certain people they went to school with and sashir realized that all of the people the girl was

00:26:34.560 asking about were black people at their school sashir is obviously a black woman and the girl just

00:26:39.720 assumed that sashir would know them all and i'm like well haven't we all been there girl girl

00:26:47.180 so westminster choir college that i went to yeah it was a very small um sect of this university so

00:26:54.260 okay so we're not on the university campus we're like we're about 30 minutes away and um

00:26:59.720 our the whole school the whole university i mean um college was about 700 students so that's between

00:27:05.840 undergrad and graduate students super tiny yeah very small so i'm not kidding you i they were

00:27:12.280 maybe i think between all the undergrad classes they were probably 16 black kids out of total a total

00:27:21.180 oh my god and i mean and people on campus would always assume that we always knew each other they

00:27:25.640 were like oh so um uh how's how's squiggy doing i'm like who the hell is squiggy like squiggy i'm like 0.62

00:27:32.720 who is that girl i don't know who that is you know what i mean so they would always assume that

00:27:36.060 we just always that that i knew squiggy went to go see his girl it was crazy they just assumed that

00:27:40.300 i knew every part of everyone's life who was who was a person of color because we were all black

00:27:43.560 yeah yeah when i went i went to the university of hawaii so like i'm samuan so i assumed when i go to

00:27:49.680 hawaii and i go to uh i'm like okay i'm gonna find my people we're gonna kiki rally have a good time

00:27:55.480 which i've never seen more white people in my life when i went to that when i went to that

00:27:59.360 orientation you would have thought i was on honeyton beach pier babe yeah i was in laguna

00:28:04.300 niguel really i was standing i'm like i was sitting i was like the yeah like they i swear to god 0.68

00:28:10.480 they're all like beach town kids from like rich cities here in california got you or and then they

00:28:15.360 go there for it because they're like oh it'll be the same and i'll be in hawaii and i i was blown away

00:28:20.420 but sometimes they would do the same thing with me like they're like oh are you on the volleyball team

00:28:25.360 and i'm like no girl i'm sitting next to you there's a game right now no i'm not on the

00:28:31.540 volleyball team bitch that's what i was like look at i mean no they're like oh i guess i just assumed 1.00

00:28:36.940 why i love to ask people why yeah see i need to ask why more i should ask why more you should i should 0.96

00:28:43.140 ask why just to make it so not you want to make it uncomfortable for me now it's your turn to be

00:28:46.880 uncomfortable why why what would make you want to ask me that oh i went to a party in college once and

00:28:52.980 me there was me and there was another one of my friends who happens to be black and he we it's

00:28:57.860 just the two of us minority people there everybody else was white so we're sitting there and we're

00:29:02.260 having a good time talking and this guy comes over and he's trying to make conversation and he's like

00:29:07.200 yeah he's like um hey so do you unprovoked we're not we we said intros that's it no talking sitting

00:29:14.800 there the guy goes so do you listen to a lot of hip-hop to my friend and then my friend goes

00:29:20.000 no not really and then he goes no you don't listen to drake drake is always the first one

00:29:25.860 you don't listen to drake and then he goes i'm not really a big fan he goes what what you got to

00:29:32.180 listen to him do you listen to he starts listing all these everyone uh tupac jay-z

00:29:37.280 can i have uh nikki minaj for 100 i don't know he's just like throwing out names and then i

00:29:46.180 couldn't take it anymore my friend is too nice to say anything so i was like why do you keep asking

00:29:49.680 him that why do you keep asking him only about stuff like that and he was like what do you mean

00:29:53.780 i'm like are you are you asking him because he's black and then he was like what what the way he got

00:30:00.580 that was so offended oh no what and he goes i'm from ohio okay congratulations he goes do you know

00:30:07.500 how many he goes i could literally count to you like on my hand how many black people i've met in

00:30:12.740 my life oh not that line and then i go he goes do you know how many that is i go i'm guessing not many

00:30:17.560 considering you're keeping count like also one two three easily eight easily eight i'm like i'm guessing

00:30:25.480 not very many i cannot also if you have lived your entire life and you have only and you only

00:30:33.280 know what eight black people and you're in college that is a problem and he wasn't even in college he 1.00

00:30:38.700 was a marine this man was so you don't even go here like who invited you to this get out go serve 0.95

00:30:46.340 go serve go serve this country oh my god don't you have a war to go dying you lived your entire

00:30:53.340 life and you can you can count on your on your two hands that is not impressive i that's what i was

00:30:58.420 like i i think that you think that's a good thing that you're keeping count and it's not it's weird

00:31:03.920 it's weird very weird it's like that's weirdo behavior but honestly so let's look at some of the

00:31:10.200 comments on this video about uh sashira's stand-up so this first one says if poc didn't have dark skin 0.77

00:31:16.500 they could never do comedy their entire routine always focuses entirely on that it's a yawn fest

00:31:23.060 yikers that comment is so bad whoa whoa whoa wait can you read it one more time if poc didn't have

00:31:30.520 dark skin they could never do comedy their entire routine always focuses entirely on that it's a yawn 1.00

00:31:36.740 fest that is always where those type of people that's where they go immediately like oh well you

00:31:42.720 only do well you only do jokes about race i'm like no i literally done a whole set with with

00:31:47.200 with the with varying things but in the options that that is what my comedy is that is the base

00:31:52.640 of my comedy so what that is because people of color have a very different experience to white

00:31:58.120 people in this country yeah so you have to find the humor and the aid to to sometimes live with it

00:32:03.100 to cope with it yeah and you use it as a way to to and it's also healing sometimes as well you know

00:32:08.320 right yeah so the fact that when they always jump to that well you only make jokes so what if i do

00:32:12.700 and what so yeah and one of it also comedy pulls from life experience life experience that's your life

00:32:17.580 experience yeah what's the difference between that and like white male comedians that are like in

00:32:22.400 their 50s talking about hating their wife that's their culture it's that and target and auto zone

00:32:30.260 that's why i'm saying home diva lows i don't know you know what i mean yeah like that's you what's the

00:32:37.260 difference that's your culture right yeah that's all the culture they have yeah it's just that it's

00:32:41.700 always i think well will you only joke about that yeah because i that that experience in in this

00:32:46.500 country and in my life has shaped me a lot into who you are y'all believe it or not that's why i'm

00:32:51.120 so funny you know what i mean you know well it's also like especially in this like the context of

00:32:57.460 the jokes that she's telling where she just automatically assumes like that um one black person knows every

00:33:02.960 black person to exist in the world that is funny it is very it's funny to think that someone would

00:33:07.780 ever believe that because it's absurd yeah that's what's funny about it like one time i went to my

00:33:13.660 boyfriend and i were at a bar and we're it's like in the daytime we're just having like drinks whatever

00:33:18.500 uh this guy comes over and he's like hey like wants to make conversation with us big white dude

00:33:23.500 and um they love my boyfriend i don't know what it is like i don't know if your boyfriend is very

00:33:29.320 beautiful thank you he has pheromones in his skin or something the way that older white gentlemen 1.00

00:33:34.400 specifically are like every time they see him because he's so hot yeah and like they don't and

00:33:39.360 because it's because it's gonna be good it's gonna be they they can't identify it as that yeah

00:33:43.960 because your boyfriend is so beautiful they're just drawn to him but they don't want to name what it is

00:33:47.560 yeah because he's a very handsome man he's very attractive it's one of those things where the line is so

00:33:52.140 thin like their obsession with nfl players or like basketball players it's like they can't tell if they

00:33:57.240 want to be him or be on him you know what i mean yeah they can't tell if they want to be my boyfriend

00:34:00.800 or me you know what i mean they struggle with it internally yeah but he came up to us and he was

00:34:07.760 like trying to joke around whatever and they always say my you know who you look like you look like

00:34:11.940 aquaman which is like when that movie came out hell on earth oh god i'm sure the way that i was like

00:34:17.600 i don't want to leave the house when i when this started happening my boyfriend was like thank god

00:34:21.420 because everyone's gonna look at you and no one's gonna look at me thank god like because he hates being

00:34:25.260 the center of attention so he's talking to us whatever and he's like so where are you guys from

00:34:29.540 and we're like here because we were in anaheim we're at disneyland so i was like oh we're from

00:34:33.880 we're from here orange county and he's like no like where are you from i hate those questions 0.68

00:34:39.420 so then when they do shit like that i clock in i've cleared my clear i've cleared my schedule i'm not 0.98

00:34:46.480 giving you the answer that you want we're gonna be here all night bitch they're gonna be putting the 1.00

00:34:50.660 stools on the bar by the time we're done because then he's like no like where are you from i'm like 0.90

00:34:55.620 california no like where are you from southern california no like where are you from over and 0.98

00:35:00.360 over and over again then he was like well no your ancestors bitch why don't you ask your ancestors 0.99

00:35:06.500 ask them oh my god they know where i'm at hello they know they know what's up so i need you go go in 0.99

00:35:17.160 the closet light a candle and and and seek some answers and you will find out do a seance and ask

00:35:22.160 you know what i mean that's what i'm saying get a ouija board babe no but where you from from girl yeah 1.00

00:35:26.940 i i bet you get that question oh yeah a million times yeah where you from i'm from brooklyn yeah but

00:35:32.200 like where you from um avenue d and 39th street like where you like from from oh um king's county

00:35:39.100 general hospital where you from it just goes on you're it happens you buy like the fourth or fifth

00:35:45.460 they kind of get it and then that's what i try i i i try to give a little grace yeah before i gotta

00:35:50.340 now now i gotta come at you yeah literally same that's why i said i give you a little bit of room

00:35:54.620 and then that's all you get from me yeah and then i was like if you're asking like what race we are

00:36:00.980 we're someone he's like oh that's crazy i'm from ohio like always ohio and he's like i was like

00:36:07.500 congratulations and then he's like yeah like i never see people who look like you guys are so big

00:36:11.840 you guys he's like did you play in the nfl i'm like no it's football season and we're here 0.94

00:36:17.180 i'm talking to you bitch sometimes people like oh this is so funny and off topic but not really 0.99

00:36:24.800 we used to go to this water park when i was a kid in like anaheim wild rivers the girls that get 0.99

00:36:30.800 it get it but anyways we would go there and one time we went my whole family like my dad too and

00:36:35.580 my dad is a big big samoyan dude so we had these cabanas you know if you have people like they're

00:36:40.520 like waiters yeah he comes over he's like oh my god oh my god oh my god i'm such a big fan i'm such

00:36:45.880 he's like geeking out i think at this point i was like maybe at 12 and i'm like why is that guy

00:36:50.440 freaking out and he like was convinced my dad was this dude on the chargers right like a player on the

00:36:56.420 chargers and he was like he was like oh i'm such a big fan dude i'm such a big oh my god i've been

00:37:03.100 a chargers fan my whole life started telling him his whole story and my dad's like oh no like he's

00:37:08.980 going well and my mom goes it's fine it's fine yeah he's so happy to meet you like my mom starts

00:37:14.360 lying because it's like it's easier to go with it than oh yeah for sure correct it oh yeah so we 0.87

00:37:19.380 looked up a picture of him bitch tell me why he looks nothing like my dad my dad's bald my dad is 1.00

00:37:24.580 bald bitch this guy had a full head of hair he had a beard he had looked nothing like my dad not 1.00

00:37:31.080 even a little not even a little and he was like oh my god i'm such a big fan i'm such a big fan 0.97

00:37:36.280 so my in my dad was like okay please don't tell anybody because it's not him yeah and then he's

00:37:41.240 like at the end of the day would you mind if i took a picture with you and my mom was like just do it 0.93

00:37:45.480 who cares because it's like before like social media was right right she's like just do it who cares 1.00

00:37:49.580 it made his whole day and then he'll leave us alone my dad goes okay he goes back there go take a

00:37:53.860 picture there's a line a line for me a line and they're all taking pictures and i'm like i can't

00:37:58.440 wait for someone to for someone to put that on facebook and be like guess who i meant someone's

00:38:02.220 like that's not him that's not him girl because he looks nothing like him like at all just another 0.95

00:38:08.280 someone dude but he just had to get his impulse picture and no matter how much how many times you

00:38:14.160 say no people are trying to think i'm jennifer hudson i'm like jennifer hudson with a thyroid problem

00:38:19.860 oh my god people see me and they're like bella hadid oh man she's gonna be so mad at me

00:38:28.800 anyways let's get back into these comments i'm obsessed with your nails sorry oh thank you so

00:38:36.300 good christmas nails so good we love this next one says the fact that this joke made the cut and

00:38:41.340 there's probably many more that didn't make the cut or didn't makes me firmly believe that women 1.00

00:38:46.900 aren't funny some dude his name's jared so he's got bigger problems yeah i mean yeah worry about

00:38:53.300 subway jared yeah he's fighting an uphill battle already hello i'd be mad it's this year too

00:38:57.660 these dudes i honestly and i do does he have a profile picture oh let me see did let's say

00:39:06.140 did the one before have a profile picture because i know the one before didn't this one is like it's

00:39:10.920 like a meme so uh yeah you always know what that is yeah they're always afraid let me see what you

00:39:16.920 got brother yeah i same who are you that's why i've i said i i've told people i'm like i dare you

00:39:22.120 to post a picture of yourself i dare you i triple dog dare you if you're if i told men before if you're 0.64

00:39:27.700 better looking than me i'll run you a rack right now i'll deliver it to your house post a picture of 0.96

00:39:32.540 post it i'll pull up i'll pull up with the rack but let me see the picture i'm constantly taking 0.59

00:39:39.320 submissions i told i told someone i'm like if you're ugly you can't call me ugly those are the

00:39:44.120 rules i don't make them i just enforce them is what it is i take it up with god you know what i

00:39:48.920 mean i don't know why you look like he's the one that did that to you hello hello i don't know

00:39:55.120 seek a higher power babe this next comment says the laugh track is so obvious no one's moving a

00:40:01.020 muscle in the audience i think men like that just take any opportunity to say women aren't funny

00:40:05.340 yeah any at all well you know and i think there is there is for some reason there is a lot men like

00:40:11.720 that are just so threatened by powerful women funny women and i was also what was i watching recently 1.00

00:40:18.560 when they were saying like a lot of women on first dates they won't um not won't be funny but they

00:40:24.400 won't like try to crack jokes because that that threatens a lot of men like when like when they see a

00:40:28.280 funny woman and i don't tea i don't understand i i don't get it either and i'm like laugh make

00:40:35.900 jokes not me the minute i come out i'm doing it i'm doing a bit you know what i mean i'm doing

00:40:40.920 physical comedy like i'm doing sketch comedy the minute i come out yeah it's threatened by you

00:40:46.120 being funny and you being that guy you don't want to be with that you don't want to possibly have to

00:40:51.140 have bear this person's children absolutely not you don't want a little monster that you that 1.00

00:40:55.520 from him and you no dude god help me if i was ever with someone who wasn't funny oh you have to be

00:41:01.040 funny i've told that story before too about like how my boyfriend like at one point my sister said

00:41:05.480 he she didn't think he was funny and i was like listen why don't you come get this knife out of

00:41:10.180 my back while you're at it because i was thinking i was thinking to myself there's no way that you're

00:41:14.220 going to tell me that i'm with someone who's not funny yeah i'd rather you call him ugly if we're

00:41:17.860 being real i'd rather my mom be like that's the ugliest person i've ever seen in my life but he's funny 0.68

00:41:21.260 he's funny i'd rather have that yeah i can see that and i i literally told him i'm like you're

00:41:25.960 gonna have to step it up a notch you're gonna have to keep up the funny babe overdrive when my next 1.00

00:41:30.820 time you see my parents i want you firing on all cylinders i want you cracking jokes bitch i want 1.00

00:41:35.720 you to tell the dead dog story it hits with my family i promise they'll love it i'll reassure him i'm 0.98

00:41:42.280 like don't worry it hits i make him tank so then i can step in love that i can i can recover

00:41:48.660 for you with the assist there you go just working together you know i love that okay let's get into

00:41:54.800 this next video so this next one is another another stand-up clip um of a comedian kate berlant i love

00:42:03.680 her performing in front of a crowd and joking about how she believes 100 that women should be allowed 0.82

00:42:09.180 to shoplift makeup and cosmetics i i feel that agree pink tax girl i um i was i saw tiktok i was

00:42:18.420 talking about how they they at these and i've never noticed it because i guess i'm just not

00:42:22.840 cognizant of it yeah but how they make big pens for women i'm like what is a pen for a woman and 1.00

00:42:29.460 it was japan was just pink instead of the like with like a pink cap instead of a blue cap and i was

00:42:34.680 like what like why are you we make it which is a little out topic sorry i didn't mean to go but i'm

00:42:38.520 like like pens for women like what like that means like and when you see a product like that that means

00:42:44.200 it hundreds like oh not hundreds maybe like 50 people had to approve this product honestly

00:42:51.380 probably hundreds hundreds to sell big pens for women like it's so crazy and back to this women 1.00

00:42:57.220 should absolutely because again it's probably a big group of men that's making all these products

00:43:01.220 and deciding all of them i'm like you know what for everything that we have put women through

00:43:04.260 in this country slash are currently putting women through in this country take all the makeup for 1.00

00:43:08.840 free that's what i'm saying take all i think monthly at every what whether it be hermes the

00:43:13.780 cvs walgreens whatever it is women should be able to go and get at least uh at least five hundred 1.00

00:43:19.300 dollars worth of worth of product for free and i'm not gonna snitch i i i simply do not see yeah when

00:43:24.860 you do it i'm gonna look the other way but it's like my friend alia who was on my show recently

00:43:29.980 she was saying that uh one of her most viral videos she ever made was she was like women don't have 1.00

00:43:35.020 flaws they just have quirks men have red flags but women don't red flags and a lot of dudes out 1.00

00:43:40.740 here hello they are quirks we love we love we love a quirky girl what's your son i'm a pisces i love

00:43:47.700 okay controversial i love pisces men yeah because my dad's a pisces yeah and and but the girls don't 0.99

00:43:55.540 like pisces men why is that they well okay so i they're a water sign i know that but i i feel like

00:44:01.960 pisces in general are very emotionally cognizant when you give that power to a too sentient man

00:44:08.740 he uses it for bad for evil he utilizes it against you manipulates you emotionally i think that's why

00:44:16.320 like one time i i started like a war on capricorns because i was like what's the worst sign that you

00:44:22.380 know of and why is it capricorn and so a lot of people were saying pisces men and cancer men really

00:44:28.740 are like god's sinful soldiers oh no like truly they're out here but but maybe straight dudes 0.99

00:44:35.800 yeah straight men gay pisces we're everything that's different yeah it's like it's like it has 1.00

00:44:40.760 an asterisk next to it but if he gay he cool like my dad my dad is a pisces and he's like he's really 0.92

00:44:48.900 really wonderful and amazing so that's why i was like pisces man that's interesting to me yeah well

00:44:53.900 i'm also a cuss i'm like right because i'm i'm uh february 19th i'm right on the end of aquarius 0.62

00:44:58.740 beginning of pisces okay that helps you yeah that helps you i've talked i even talked when trixie was

00:45:04.660 on i like told her because she's a virgo so like me i'm a virgo so i was saying well virgo men 0.87

00:45:09.640 are awful they came straight from that sewer bitch pennywise he's a virgo pennywise was a virgo 1.00

00:45:15.700 i don't know he probably was i'm characterizing him based off the fact that he eats children and 0.99

00:45:20.380 he's awful but i was literally thinking with virgo men i described it once as like they're like the

00:45:26.080 dude the adult man that gets in line for the pinata you know what i mean that guy that guy's a virgo

00:45:32.080 like the guy that like throws all the board game pieces at the wall when he loses that guy's a virgo

00:45:38.480 he's a virgo man i just i just feel it in my bones it's science who says astrology isn't real

00:45:44.600 it's a proven fact well you know people say that and i'm like if the moon is powerful enough

00:45:51.660 to control the waves and the oceans on the earth like the stuff of the there has to be some

00:45:58.820 correlation with us that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying has to be i just talked about that

00:46:03.340 too on my last episode i we literally talked about how like it's just because it's loved primarily by

00:46:07.940 women that's why they demonize astrology they're like but it's true and i if you read a straight 1.00

00:46:14.540 mana chart watch them be gooped and gagged scalped hello the way i wig the out of them 0.55

00:46:21.200 they just quiet as hell like you know that's not true i don't like that yeah because it's right

00:46:28.060 because it's right or they genuinely are like huh they like think a little bit about it and then i

00:46:33.680 explain it further and then they're like oh my god that is me and on the off chance it isn't real

00:46:40.580 who cares who cares let's all have a good time it's fun it's fun listen we are this planet is

00:46:45.100 literally about to fall apart that's what i'm saying let's just enjoy what we have we got bigger

00:46:49.900 problems honestly than to worry about the astrology girls you know okay the comments on this video so 1.00

00:46:56.280 this first one says i feel like i could do stand-up comedy better than that so do it that's what i

00:47:02.520 always say and i'm like do you and also we'll say this stuff i mean you should research you're talking

00:47:06.580 about kate perlant is such a celebrated comedian her one-on-one shows like she like literally like

00:47:12.440 what you you think you can do comedy better than kate we're like who are you i always say get out

00:47:19.200 there then then do it do it show us i mean let's see you have a you have a tiktok start doing

00:47:24.520 start doing your comedy let's see how many views you get the way it would humble these dudes so

00:47:29.900 severely yeah to do to tell it is not easy they genuinely think like what it is you do in your stand-up

00:47:35.860 like special for example they think they could do the same exact thing oh my god let me see it let

00:47:41.220 me see you know i'm gonna let me call mr tribeca hey we have um users 49272 underscore five yeah

00:47:49.000 can you book him to do to do a special yeah he has an hour okay yeah your book get jim carrey on the

00:47:55.160 phone yeah let's do it let's do it it's so easy i sometimes when they say they're like i could very

00:48:00.860 easily do this so what's stopping you don't let being ugly stop you you still do other things in

00:48:06.000 life don't you you know what i mean oh i can do that too girl i know it's the same thing as like

00:48:12.720 when they see female athletes and they're like i could do that i said that once in a video like

00:48:17.620 one of my first my actual first video to ever go viral i talked about like weirdly specific red flags

00:48:22.260 and men and one of them i said like if they watch like female athletes on the tv and they're like i

00:48:28.260 could do that cut it off bit done run in the other direction i would agree with that and also no you 0.98

00:48:33.560 can't you know how i know because you're sitting next to me on the couch bitch we're both couch 1.00

00:48:38.380 coaches at that point yeah they say that only about female athletes like did you ever see that video

00:48:43.100 i think it was serena williams where she played like six men at once like all men who were like

00:48:48.980 wait so she's on one side of yeah she had she played them yeah she played them each one at a 1.00

00:48:54.460 time and then she put all of them on the same side and then she was playing all six of them

00:48:59.080 and it was hilarious because these men are like as far as i know i don't think that they were like 0.50

00:49:04.700 talking shit outwardly that would be funny if they were yeah but i think she uh they were just like 0.98

00:49:09.720 yeah i think i could keep up like i'm a pretty athletic guy which is the same shit in my opinion like 0.99

00:49:13.960 it's the same dude yeah and then the way that she was like only having fun not one drop of sweat 0.99

00:49:19.700 she's just like laughing just absolutely working them out like they were sweaty exhausted red i i 0.69

00:49:28.260 they're red i love the red all over man metaphorically and physically oh my god i love that one i'm gonna

00:49:35.220 look this up as soon as we leave i love yeah please do i i loved it i was like what a genius like idea

00:49:39.980 to do like yeah get their biggest haters and have them do the same thing oh i love it i would love

00:49:45.480 that i love that i love that you know because i on drag race you know you do the thing and you start 0.90

00:49:50.440 posting yourself and you get there's all there's always someone who has some negative shit to say or 0.59

00:49:54.840 or i i could have done that challenge i'm like then do it girl they sell this fabric at joanne's 0.86

00:49:59.680 go buy the fabric and make the outfit in your in your film a self tape and send it in let's see if

00:50:06.180 we get picked it's so easy you can do it let's see it i'll see you at hamburger mares to try out

00:50:11.900 your very first bit you know what i mean people like that are the worst terrible the worst kind of

00:50:18.120 warriors uh this next comment says women shouldn't be allowed to do stand-up none of them are funny

00:50:23.980 maybe sarah silverman that's kind of funny the end of that comment maybe her i don't know i don't know

00:50:29.480 though women shouldn't be allowed to do stand-up none of them are funny like that's why i said what's 1.00

00:50:34.680 your like degree of funny like what do you what do you think is funny yeah and also it also kills

00:50:41.520 me when they take like a bit into something that like literally like like everyone agrees

00:50:46.680 like universally that it's funny like well that wasn't funny i'm like okay well i guess we can't

00:50:51.160 please you in that one joke but i mean the majority survey says like everyone majority people like the

00:50:55.900 joke let's ask the audience who they thought and everyone is laughing you're trying to pick one

00:51:00.080 obscure part of the about of a joke and then they try to do like the math the math to say oh it's

00:51:05.460 not funny because of this i'm like girl stop the joke exhausting being you yeah just going out and

00:51:11.340 looking for things to complain about to find something i can't relate you know to to invalidate

00:51:15.640 the joke or why it's not funny you're like i'm booked and busy i don't have time for that so

00:51:19.880 can't relate but good luck with that i think it's like yeah i i one of my friends who does comedy

00:51:26.280 too had told me once like when people tell me that i'm like well then it's not for you yeah like

00:51:30.700 my comedy is not for everyone yeah but like i i think that too when when dudes tell me all the time

00:51:36.400 they don't think i'm funny and i'm like well that's because you're terrible so my jokes are at your

00:51:40.020 expense so yeah i wouldn't find it very funny yeah and you're looking at these things and be like

00:51:44.200 damn this is this is this is me it's all scans uh it's not fun i don't like it sure and i'll tell 0.64

00:51:51.200 like really cheap jokes sometimes like like a deez nuts joke you know what i mean those hit 0.98

00:51:56.040 but they they really hate those when you use them against them especially they don't see it coming

00:52:01.100 yeah like i made a video about defending tess holiday once love tess i love tess love tess she's 0.53

00:52:07.800 the best and so i defended her and my video did really well but the guy that i attacked like oh man

00:52:13.480 oh babe he went off the rails someone check on him like he is not doing well and it's been a year

00:52:19.420 and it's been a year and he's still upset about it so with him like he made a follow-up well he

00:52:29.020 made like 15 videos about me and then i made one more addressing all his comments because as soon

00:52:34.740 as i step in moral police they're like they all of a sudden look at them they're in a white sheet 0.98

00:52:39.920 glasses they're gandhi listen i think that's why this is why i think this isn't healthy bitch you just 1.00

00:52:45.620 called someone a fat cow and you're all of a sudden you're like guys peace and love peace and love 0.96

00:52:51.820 all of a sudden and i i like address every one of his points and at the end i was like you said

00:52:56.540 you're all about spreading love which is a lie but you know what you can spread these nuts and someone

00:53:01.760 comments on my video they're like i don't care what you say uh if you think that last part didn't 0.99

00:53:06.020 make you laugh you're a liar you're a liar it was a dude it was a dude that didn't like me 0.94

00:53:09.220 didn't follow me and i'm like that's real he's real for that for being honest i also love it 0.99

00:53:14.600 because because your nails are always popping you always and the way just they just they just

00:53:19.080 accent everything that you're doing the video and i'd be sitting on my phone like yes

00:53:23.080 i know that they're very much so part of my personality it's great i know i hate when people

00:53:33.420 ask me like oh like how do you how do you even dudes try to make this joke too which is like 0.99

00:53:38.020 tell me again women aren't funny but they're like how do you wipe your ass yeah how does she even 1.00

00:53:42.080 wipe when people tell me that in person they ask me like that that head ass question in person 0.99

00:53:46.520 i literally go i don't wipe wipe what you wipe your butt and they the way they go oh my god like 1.00

00:53:56.060 they think i'm walking around with shit in my ass all the time maybe don't ask me questions like 1.00

00:53:59.160 that then and i'll commit that's a bit i'll take to the grave they're gonna be like she told me she 1.00

00:54:05.300 doesn't wipe her ass i'm like yeah you know i did say that i used to reclux but i haven't in a 0.97

00:54:09.120 while but i'm when i start again i'm gonna i'm gonna say i'm like i actually don't people ask me 0.98

00:54:12.240 that too i'm like yeah i don't that's a good one i'm just like that's good that guy just immediately

00:54:16.540 go wipe wipe what what are you talking about the way you act like like i'm literally like a 13th 0.69

00:54:22.000 century like colonial woman i've never heard of toilet paper what is that commit to the bit

00:54:28.800 love it i love it i love it okay this last uh comment on here it says perhaps she should steal

00:54:35.820 some jokes because this wasn't funny perhaps is a it's a crazy way to start a hate comment

00:54:42.120 perhaps perhaps no perhaps and what is does he have a profile picture he does oh oh well at least

00:54:55.240 well you know what he he tried to start constructively he did so maybe that's where

00:54:59.700 he got the guts also to have a profile picture but it just ended in some she's yeah men like that

00:55:04.160 who start comments or like try to sound really really smart when they're either trying to read you 0.98

00:55:09.100 or like prove you wrong in some way oh it makes my ass itch the way i immediately turn into a caveman 0.86

00:55:17.140 me no thoughts like i just i just start being the most uneducated person to them because i just 0.96

00:55:22.020 i refuse i will not engage in that with you yeah i agree i don't need to like prove to you i'm smart 0.99

00:55:27.440 yeah you can suck my ass as far as i'm concerned like i just say i'm not wiping yeah with my long 1.00

00:55:32.640 nails that one that one remember when you asked me that question yeah that one that's for you i i like 1.00

00:55:36.660 i'll sometimes they'll write me like a dissertation of comments you know the number of like one yes yeah

00:55:42.560 yeah oh my god the way you guys don't have a job but then when they do that i'll literally but i'm 0.99

00:55:47.260 you're you're absolutely out of your mind if you think i'm reading all that you can eat my ass 0.99

00:55:51.380 that's all right my favorite thing when someone writes you like a long comment to just just comment 1.00

00:55:57.580 like a three-word thing back i love to do that shit all the time and i love it because they really 0.94

00:56:02.880 get so angry that you did not give them the time and day literally they have no idea what to do 0.99

00:56:07.720 oh i love it like like they write you a whole dissertation you go you can eat shit yeah yeah yeah 1.00

00:56:12.580 go ahead and go outside pick up a big pile of white dog shit and eat it the white the albino dog 1.00

00:56:18.380 shit old dog shit man go ahead and eat that and then you can choke yeah i i love a long comment i'll 1.00

00:56:24.680 just comment like off and then you're like the way and then they get back to writing they get back to 0.99

00:56:30.400 writing literally right they're right back to writing you like it's so satisfying i love it same i like

00:56:35.520 i'm in moments like that i just there's no point like they'll be like oh she can't write anything

00:56:41.460 back or say anything back to me because she's not she doesn't want to smoke or whatever i'm like

00:56:45.580 yeah you're just like worthless to me yeah there's no point there's really no point there's no payoff

00:56:50.760 for me in that yeah and i've had men be like why don't you invite me on your show so i can debate you 0.99

00:56:56.200 i'm all you think this is high school you think this debate class bitch no you think this is grow 1.00

00:57:02.800 your platform and you get and then you can talk to whoever you want to put on my time on my show 0.75

00:57:08.160 and do that off no so i was like uh no and then they go why because i don't want to yeah and it's

00:57:13.940 really that simple that simple that's it it's really that simple because i don't want i've had

00:57:17.160 people offered like they offered me money really to come on my show babe yeah and uh it wasn't a

00:57:23.140 lot of money so i'm like i'm sure you're gonna need to add a few more zeros to the end of that

00:57:27.640 before i even entertain that yeah no no no no no no no it's it's like such a desperate i feel

00:57:34.440 like a lot of times especially like i'm sure too with your platform as well like if you get hate

00:57:38.660 it's like a lot of times it's just for attention like they just want to they want attention but

00:57:43.440 they also are like really hoping that they like ruffle your feathers in some way they're like oh

00:57:47.880 this is gonna get her this is gonna bother them so much yeah these are all the time and or or that

00:57:53.260 thing like they they say something so hateful so nasty yeah and then you comment back they're like

00:57:57.580 oh no just kidding i love you i love you i love you like you know you don't and i don't want that kind

00:58:01.700 of love yeah i was like again go to better help slash rivalry because you need to talk to someone

00:58:06.020 if that's how you show love is like this crazy ass comment work on it yeah you need to work on that

00:58:11.280 that's not good for you do something yeah no i don't i i think too like for me i don't like 0.90

00:58:17.220 obviously i don't drag women and i've said that before i'm like i don't drag women the same way i

00:58:21.440 drag men um which like lucky y'all but like i was like i just i have no interest in doing that i'm

00:58:27.140 focusing on the men and the men only and i think sometimes they take advantage of that

00:58:30.980 because they know that i do that yeah because this pick me season right now you know pick me

00:58:34.740 girls no oh a pick me girl oh let's get into it a pick me girl tell me essentially a woman who lives 1.00

00:58:41.460 for the male validation so she like everything she does is to be validated by a man even if it means 0.99

00:58:47.420 like selling herself down the river kind of thing so she like shits on other women she like it's just 1.00

00:58:53.540 she's essentially a misogynist a lot of internalized misogyny just like it's not the same but it's like in 1.00

00:58:59.080 the same neighborhood as like internalized racism like people are racist towards their own people

00:59:02.840 yeah it's like the calls coming from inside the house kind of thing so they call them pick me girls 0.96

00:59:07.240 because pick me girls pick me got it they're like pick me i'm like pick me skit me bitch like i've 1.00

00:59:13.600 talked about multiple times i'm like i if a man never talked to me again it would be too soon 0.95

00:59:17.480 it really would because like um people like me for example like as like a cis straight woman like 0.83

00:59:24.360 i don't give a shit about male attention or validation yeah which is why it doesn't bother 0.96

00:59:29.040 me when men call me a fat bitch every single day because it doesn't mean anything to me yeah 0.98

00:59:33.720 so like it's like trying to free women from like the desire to like you know because some men like 0.98

00:59:40.680 genuinely even though they're they say they're not attracted to you if you don't care about them

00:59:45.480 they're offended oh for sure because they still crave that they want that attention from you yeah 0.91

00:59:50.800 even though they say you're ugly i don't like this you're fat you're whatever they still they still

00:59:55.140 want that yeah and it's it's it's very like it's such a strange like line of thinking i don't understand 0.95

01:00:02.140 it at all but like the pick me girls it's like pick me season for me right now i don't know what it 0.96

01:00:07.260 is but i have so many women like making videos trying to ride my dick for views essentially yeah and i'm 1.00

01:00:14.040 like how's this challenge try to go viral without putting my name in the title how about that bitch 1.00

01:00:18.900 like okay have you ever had the thing where it's one of these dudes that you dragged and their like 0.98

01:00:24.260 girlfriend or like sister or someone tries to come at you yeah actually only once okay um it was on

01:00:31.340 twitter and i had posted a picture of me like just to be honest looking fantastic i looked great

01:00:38.880 my hair and makeup artist he really did the damn thing but like some some men because their pp wiggled 0.70

01:00:45.280 when they saw it were like this is photoshop so then i posted it then i posted a video and i'm like 0.90

01:00:50.900 photoshop where bitch tell your girl i'm looking for her anyways so then uh this guy like retweeted or 0.93

01:00:57.680 he he tweeted me my own picture like i posted a picture of myself on my snap he tweeted me my own 0.91

01:01:04.420 picture and was like this you like one of those and i go yeah any other questions like is that it

01:01:12.400 like and i was like i feel like you guys don't get that this the this you thing is like it's supposed

01:01:17.380 to be a picture where you're unsuspecting yeah someone else took it of you it's like an unflattering

01:01:22.000 picture i looked really cute in the pic so i'm like i don't get the point sometimes i genuinely think 0.97

01:01:28.280 that some straight dudes yeah are stupid like there's just no other way i'm like do you not 0.92

01:01:35.880 did you not get the again to the point it doesn't even make sense to even argue with that person 1.00

01:01:41.880 no not at all you do not possess the the intellectual intelligence that it takes even this 1.00

01:01:48.820 not it's not even fun for me anymore because now you're so stupid i just look like i just i'm wasting 0.99

01:01:53.740 my time i was like you host can't keep up you can't keep up simply is what it is i can't and 0.97

01:01:58.060 that guy like did that and i was like yeah that is me do you have any other questions for me before

01:02:04.500 i leave or and then he was like he had no pictures of himself at least i thought so so then i went and

01:02:11.120 looked and i found a picture of him bitch when i tell you when i tell you that this man for sure 1.00

01:02:18.480 worked at a food for less like there's just no way there's no way he didn't like balding as all hell 0.96

01:02:24.100 like like truly the most unattractive person i've ever seen in my life and i found the picture and 0.98

01:02:30.680 i tweeted it to him and i said there's no way you want to talk about this there's no way bitch and 1.00

01:02:38.280 then his girl like got in the mix like but i didn't know that they were together like because she was 0.97

01:02:43.640 just like she started attacking me and calling me like fan ugly and i said you know pygmy isms aren't 1.00

01:02:49.620 cute yeah and then uh someone else like my followers are like sleuths the way that they're

01:02:54.780 like cia agents they go and find all this information she goes girl that's literally his

01:03:00.040 girlfriend i found like pictures of them together and then she was like uh she was still sticking to 0.99

01:03:05.960 her shit about calling me fan ugly and then i said um you're right i'm so fat and ugly that your man 0.99

01:03:11.500 spends his free time looking at me take it up with him bitch like he's the fact yeah he has pictures 1.00

01:03:17.040 of me safe to his phone and you want to get mad at me come and come at me babe these these like deep 0.98

01:03:23.700 dive tiktoks when people do that they were like oh i see you said it's common and they

01:03:28.240 the sleuthing skills they find out where you work where you live truly what's your what what your

01:03:34.600 blood type is it's like it's like it's really remarkable how people are so good at the internet

01:03:39.360 yeah like one time i this guy wrote this like awful awful rancid racist thing about me on instagram

01:03:44.940 and tagged me in it so naturally i reposted it and then i made fun of what he looked like

01:03:49.640 and someone messaged me and was like girl this guy's in a bad mood because he broke up with his

01:03:56.100 girlfriend like a year ago she has no idea who this is she just went and looked and found all

01:04:00.500 this information she's like he was he she was with this he was with this girl now she's with a new gym

01:04:05.740 guy who looks even better than he does and today's her birthday that's literally why he's in a bad

01:04:09.740 girl girl i screenshot it and put it in my story and i was like damn honestly we need to hire

01:04:18.240 these gen z tiktokers for the cia the cia should be plucking gen zers to go into service for them 1.00

01:04:25.880 the way that no the way that you need them like we need them they should be like undercover cops honestly

01:04:32.480 i mean 12 but like they're like like under just like cia operatives the way that they work for sure 0.95

01:04:41.100 i don't know how they find shit like that it's very good the shit they send me i'm like oh my gosh 0.94

01:04:46.340 that's crazy how did you find that and they're like oh i just went looking well they've been using 0.98

01:04:51.080 technology since there were like two no literally you know what i mean they've had my my i have a

01:04:56.520 little a little nephew and he's like five when i tell you he is like wade from kim possible just on

01:05:02.580 his ipad just i'm like eyes look in both directions girl i'm like how it's so impressive i i know the way

01:05:09.980 it's advanced what was your first social media my first social media oh my god it was um it was in

01:05:16.220 high school it was sconex you remember sconex you know you probably you're way younger than me i'm 27

01:05:21.540 i'm 32 okay sconex yeah sconex was like it was like before facebook oh okay and it was why it was

01:05:29.520 it was our the interface was like orange and orange and black and white um similar to adam for adam which

01:05:35.080 was um uh a little gay networking site i know about that i've heard about that they were around the same

01:05:41.820 time okay it was only all around for like two years yeah and like it was in i would go on it in um

01:05:47.360 on the in the in the in the computer lab yeah but then like a week after sconex got popping they put

01:05:53.680 that thing where you they would block certain certain on the block list and then but i had some like

01:05:59.360 mainframe kid in in in in in chemistry class and he like hacked the system so everybody would try to

01:06:05.140 get jerome to come to to come to our sixth period computer class so he could put it to hack in the

01:06:10.400 mainframe so we could all go on sconex it was a girl it was crazy but sconex was my first one what was

01:06:14.240 yours myspace myspace yeah for sure myspace i think i was like well first off i wasn't like

01:06:20.900 my mom was like very good about keeping us off the internet as long as she could and then when we

01:06:25.060 got to a certain point she's like i'm gonna monitor it uh-huh so like be careful and we're like okay

01:06:29.780 sounds good when i first got it i was like oh but the way that myspace you would like code

01:06:35.260 yeah you like you worked like you're a facebook engineer like i'm in there like my sister was like

01:06:41.080 a master at coding like she could literally teach me how to change the background and like

01:06:45.620 move so creative do you know myspace is still around yes i do i wish i could look at my old

01:06:52.480 myspace i would like to too i did have a myspace but again with the coding thing i was not good at it

01:06:56.400 and i didn't have any friends that were good at it either because we're all musicians we were not

01:06:59.900 smart at all so none of us could do it so i was like girl i i can't and then i got into facebook 0.79

01:07:05.660 but yeah myspace yeah yeah it was really you had to know your shit to like have a good myspace that's 0.88

01:07:10.300 what i'm saying my sister was really good at it i think that's the only reason i was good at it 0.90

01:07:14.060 honestly and then i think when myspace kind of fell off was obviously when facebook became a thing

01:07:19.200 i got my instagram hella late though i think well like for the time i think i didn't get it till like

01:07:23.420 2009 which it felt late yeah i don't remember when i got mine but it was bad it was back and in

01:07:28.940 the instagram when everybody was like it was like 32 hashtags every post and everyone was always

01:07:33.900 posting food it was like food shots or like sepia black and white pictures or like legs at

01:07:38.720 the beach legs at the beach hot dogs or legs do you remember that no what's that one oh my god

01:07:43.920 girl you know how like they take pictures like this with their knees uh-huh and there was like a trend 0.93

01:07:47.440 they were like hot dogs or legs you don't remember that does anyone remember hot dogs or legs

01:07:52.360 yeah they literally people would take pictures of of like hot dogs like just the ends of them like

01:07:58.800 this oh my god and at the beach and they'd be like hot dogs or legs and then people would be

01:08:03.620 like legs and they'd be like no hot dogs oh can we bring that back bring it back bring back the 1.00

01:08:07.740 hot dogs or legs shred i love that you know i'm gonna work that into my stand-up i really drew you

01:08:15.180 need to get in stand i just you just take a little sabbatical and you like right you has first of all

01:08:20.380 you have so much good material already you can you can easily write an hour and i'm whatever the

01:08:25.120 dates get announced i'm coming if i ever do i'm literally gonna ask you for help please advice i would

01:08:30.440 love to from a from a pro yes literally thank you doll yes oh i'm so excited that you were here and 0.95

01:08:37.980 we got to have a good time good kiki i'm so happy i literally love you i love you you're so fucking 0.89

01:08:42.740 fun this was great you're the best anytime i loved it thank you so much to monet exchange for joining

01:08:48.340 me on this episode of the comment section where can everybody find you i am monet exchange on all

01:08:53.940 platforms um m-o-n-e-t the letter x the word change you got everywhere only tiktok because someone

01:09:00.080 has my monet exchange because i was a late tiktoker okay late and then so i'm the monet exchange on

01:09:05.840 tiktok where everyone else is just monet exchange period and what else do you have coming out that

01:09:10.260 you're excited to tell everyone about well you know i had a civil rivalry tour myself and bob the

01:09:14.920 drag queen um i have um my stand-up special coming out very soon and um i have um some two other

01:09:21.540 things that are oh i'm doing i'm singing with the minnesota opera um i'm doing um the flying

01:09:27.160 dutchman there and i'm singing with the san francisco symphony this this this christmas look out for

01:09:32.440 that you're a busy bitch thank you i love it so happy for you everyone please please please go 0.93

01:09:38.320 follow monet on literally everything and buy tickets to all her shows you're the best thank you 0.97

01:09:43.240 love you thank you so much for joining us on this episode of the comment section show if you

01:09:48.140 want to catch full episodes you can catch them on spotify they are available to stream now

01:09:53.460 thank you so much for joining us i'll see you next week bye

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - June 14, 2023

MONET WAS A LADY OF THE NIGHT Ft. Monet X Change ｜ Drew Afualo ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 70

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