The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - REJECTION IS MISDIRECTION Ft. D'arcy Carden ｜ Episode 230

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00:00:09.940 Grief is a part of being human. The objects around us are tangible vessels of emotion that,

00:00:15.300 when recognized, become intentional artifacts able to hold our griefs so that we can spend

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00:00:24.260 And I'm Kylie. This is Artifacts of Grief.

00:00:27.900 Every Thursday, we offer a conversation about grief and the artifacts that hold that grief

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00:00:48.920 i don't really know signs but let me just remember virgo is what february no

00:00:56.220 no you're actually so far off

00:00:58.460 hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me your fave

00:01:11.800 everybody knows me who cares about me on to the guests today we have the iconic the legendary the

00:01:16.940 hilarious, the multifaceted and talented, Darcy Carden! Woo! Hi! Oh my goodness, welcome to the

00:01:25.400 show. Thanks for having me. Thank you for coming. I appreciate that. I'm thrilled to be with another

00:01:30.480 tall girl. I know you are a tall girl. Oh my gosh, I love that about us. We are. Rare. Rare. Rare. On paper, 0.89

00:01:39.360 what does it say how tall you are? Well, I think I'm 5'11". Really? Yeah, is that on paper? Mine's

00:01:44.220 six feet yeah i never hit six it depends i think for me like it depends on who's measuring me and

00:01:49.800 if they have something against me yeah i think like a vendetta right but i do i do love a fellow

00:01:54.820 tall girl that's how i felt about lucy yeah lucy my tall girl right trying to keep my shoulders

00:01:59.500 back even even with her i was like i was telling her i'm six feet and you're tall and she was like

00:02:04.280 really because she's 5 11 yeah and i was like yeah and then she made me stand up again so we

00:02:09.220 could stand up you always have to kind of do this and she was like oh wait yeah you are no you are

00:02:13.520 a hair taller yeah she's 5'11 not that it matters honestly because i think anyone that sees us is

00:02:19.740 like 6'5 yeah like about yeah it's about the same yeah anything over 5'10 they're like and you're

00:02:24.960 seven feet tall um yeah it is so funny how my aunt is i think six feet but we my since i've 0.51

00:02:32.360 been this tall which is truly since i was a child fucking same you know i we always do the measure 0.93

00:02:37.640 we always like every time i stare we have to do like butt to butt and she's still talking that's 0.93

00:02:42.660 me to my younger brother yeah because my older i'm a middle child so my older sister is five four

00:02:49.300 okay and because my mom is five three yeah but my dad my dad is six six he's gonna be so it was a

00:02:55.260 real like yeah toss up for all of us yeah so my sister stopped growing in sixth grade yeah i grew

00:03:01.100 four inches from seventh to eighth so i are the same i went from five four to five eight in one

00:03:06.580 year when I came back they were like who is this gentleman new boy on campus and so I was five eight

00:03:14.720 and then when I went into high school I was like that that's enough slices I don't want to grow

00:03:18.400 anymore yeah no more I sort of feel like I was five ten in like sixth grade really I should look

00:03:24.500 at a picture I definitely was from elementary on was always like one of the tallest in my class

00:03:30.860 same but then there was a moment in high school when I was on the basketball team where I wasn't

00:03:36.420 the tallest girl there were like three or four girls taller than me love that that's where you

00:03:40.000 gotta go yeah you gotta go seek community yes exactly I was always the center and then I got

00:03:44.260 to high school and I was like I'm practically a point guard I'm so small and dainty yeah that was

00:03:50.840 uh I never played basketball ironically even though I was big and I'm sure everyone's saying

00:03:55.440 but I did play volleyball yeah so it's see it's the other tall person you're gonna play this or

00:03:58.980 that yeah and I my main sport was soccer so that was like when I when I played soccer everyone was

00:04:04.000 like the biggest soccer player i've ever seen in my life because soccer players are usually mommy

00:04:08.160 size yes right exactly itty bitty bitty tiny my other sport or my main sport was water polo

00:04:15.600 tea which i tried water polo yeah one one time and said no my mom and dad liked to do this fun

00:04:22.340 thing where they would just come home and be like you're gonna try this sport and you're like and

00:04:25.760 me and my sister were like why yeah and they're like just in case you never know yeah so my mom

00:04:30.300 was like you guys should try water polo i was like i don't i'm like a good swimmer but like

00:04:34.920 leisurely i wouldn't say i'm like that kind of good swimming wanting to yeah and then my mom was

00:04:38.880 like too late already signed you up and we're like okay so we're my dad was like looking up

00:04:43.900 things they do in water right it's like i guess if you're good at soccer you would be good i mean

00:04:48.200 you would know the rules i guess yeah it's like above water soccer okay see interesting yeah but

00:04:53.780 we were learning like egg beater sure right all that to say about the water i wasn't treading

00:04:57.920 very well but they were like let's go to the i almost said audition to the tryout yeah so when

00:05:02.860 we went to the tryout they first made us swim a mile which is like up and back two times i think

00:05:08.640 yeah like i don't even know don't jump me um wait i think would you say don't jump me yeah

00:05:12.960 i might jump audience yeah i might jump you i don't think it's two well maybe like an olympic

00:05:18.260 size or something like that yeah it was an olympic size pool a mile yeah that's why i was like that's

00:05:22.980 a lot of okay and again like i couldn't do it yeah obviously i had no training no so when i was

00:05:29.180 swimming at one point i just started walking because i was tall enough to reach and then

00:05:32.780 they were like no walking and i was like i'm not walking even though my shoulders are out and i'm

00:05:36.240 going yeah and then my sister and i did so poorly on that part of the tryout that they sent us home

00:05:43.060 damn i didn't even get to the water polo short-sighted on their end because you could get

00:05:47.320 better at swimming that's what i'm saying yeah but they were probably like yeah you were also 0.99

00:05:52.280 like i don't give a fuck i know i was like oh thank god i don't want to do this no i actually 0.76

00:05:55.840 went home and it was really sick because i drank too much pool water because you're gulping it 0.97

00:06:00.740 down yeah i was like was your mouth open the whole time i go i don't know probably yeah i can't

00:06:05.640 remember yeah it was there's like a little learning curve there especially because i was

00:06:11.120 like when we started i had no i had never played before it's not like a sport that you just sort

00:06:15.440 of like play as a kid the way you would with baseball or basketball yeah so yeah learning

00:06:20.880 how to do that but that that was if i could go back in time to your little baby self yeah i would

00:06:26.460 say it's just soccer above the water with your hands above the water that would help me a lot

00:06:31.360 i think swimming was hard but my team was really good and like half the girls were amazing swimmers

00:06:37.480 and then the other half were you and me which is just like strong which is kind of their big big

00:06:41.680 strong athletic yeah i love that about you there's not many people in this industry that are athletic

00:06:46.000 no that's true and that's no tea no shade it's just the truth it's just the truth yeah because

00:06:49.640 you kind of had to choose one or the other right I had to like go you would take theater or honestly

00:06:54.400 like right you're right though I I'm with you on that yeah yeah in in junior high and high school

00:06:58.580 I really split my time between both and then when it was time for college it was like do I want to

00:07:02.640 go to college for water polo and then what or and then what that's exactly how I felt too about my

00:07:08.500 sport because I played I played soccer at a pretty high level since I was like seven so I was playing

00:07:13.500 travel ball since I was seven so like that was my plan yeah I was like I'm gonna get a soccer

00:07:17.960 scholarship i even was telling my friend the other day i was like it really got to a point

00:07:21.800 where i was it was so serious and i was getting recruited so young that i was like man this is

00:07:25.860 just my life like i was literally thinking soccer girl i'm gonna i'm gonna go to college and then

00:07:29.900 i'm gonna make the national team and then i'm just gonna have to play soccer for the rest of

00:07:32.820 my life like that's what i would tell myself i can already see it yeah but it wasn't in a way

00:07:36.700 that i was excited about it was more so in a like right like as if you were like an electrician and

00:07:42.840 And we're just like, this is my lot in life.

00:07:44.840 My dad's an electrician.

00:07:46.000 I'm going to be an electrician too.

00:07:47.500 For real.

00:07:48.240 Yeah.

00:07:48.520 Well, I think the athleticism is really cool to hear.

00:07:51.680 And also, I think, did that help you at all when you were on A League of Their Own?

00:07:54.940 Yeah, it totally did.

00:07:55.840 Although, you know, it's so funny because, like, I would say half the, I almost just

00:08:01.240 said team, half the cast had played baseball or softball growing up.

00:08:05.020 And the other half hadn't at all.

00:08:07.280 And you don't, the viewer wouldn't necessarily know.

00:08:09.960 Because they could do all the little tricks and everything.

00:08:11.600 Yeah.

00:08:11.820 but I felt really confident I mean Abby J yeah short for Jacobson and just in case for the

00:08:19.880 listener at home yeah um we both played softball growing up and and and Shantae Adams was the I

00:08:28.840 think the first person I don't remember whatever the three of us were the first people in the show

00:08:32.220 yeah and we would um practice with a coach like three times a week leading up to shooting the

00:08:39.460 pilot and as girls damn how was that it was rad i bet i was gonna say it was incredible yeah and

00:08:46.600 it was for so long i can't remember exactly how long but actually now that i think about it it

00:08:50.940 was like i want to say like october to february something insane like we the casting process was

00:08:56.840 so long the casting process was so long good it's like were so long no that um just every time a new

00:09:04.380 girl got cast she would kind of like come into the team and start practicing with us and it made

00:09:09.780 it so that and then and then the week leading up to the pilot we did like a like a you know eight

00:09:15.120 hours a day like you know full on like baseball camp yeah that when we started shooting it was

00:09:21.020 like we were truly a team that sounds cheesy but it was almost like no but I love that I think it's

00:09:25.540 beautiful especially if you're playing a team totally it was almost like the acting or like 0.88

00:09:29.920 the the show was like an afterthought for us right almost like oh shit we have to memorize our lines

00:09:34.640 we're like girl don't worry my ground ball yeah i got it truly that was what we were so so focused

00:09:40.180 on and then when the show started we're like oh yeah yeah let's keep the main thing the main thing

00:09:44.040 yeah i love that's like you're like you see how that's like a really nice version of method acting

00:09:49.500 yes totally like we're when men do it they terrorize people well when women do it they're 0.99

00:09:54.220 like we're playing softball it doesn't exist in for women women don't do that shit so do method 0.99

00:10:00.560 acting they just act they just show up act i think one of my favorite quotes who is it from 1.00

00:10:07.100 it's a famous actress i can't remember who maybe i don't remember it's kate blanchett probably it

00:10:12.400 was it was an older woman and she oh no it's kirsten dunce that's who it is she's an older

00:10:16.620 woman yeah i just meant she older than me i meant older than me great yeah totally but she's a mom

00:10:21.520 totally and she's yeah she said someone asked her on a carpet like how do you feel about method 0.98

00:10:27.540 acting and like have you ever done it and she was like i don't have time for that shit i have kids 0.98

00:10:30.460 yeah totally real as fuck i love that she's real as fuck i've had this conversation with many an 0.99

00:10:35.440 actress where we're like we've all worked with method actors and none of them have been female 0.99

00:10:40.220 yeah yes men need to go somewhere to learn yeah how to empathize with others yeah and how to put

00:10:46.220 themselves in other shoes right they have to do something crazy and they have to make it everybody's 0.99

00:10:50.780 problem yeah everyone has to suffer in order for me to do it yeah whereas women are like well i 0.99

00:10:55.360 have other things to do so i can't be doing that let me drop into it real quick and then pop out 0.99

00:10:58.900 of it speaking of acting i do want to know um obviously we talked about you being an athlete

00:11:04.000 before um obviously leaning into your passion of acting i'm assuming it's passion it's passion

00:11:08.520 baby obviously yeah and that's why you're doing it so well thank you um but i'm curious like

00:11:13.060 what were like if you did think about acting when you were younger even when you were playing sports

00:11:17.320 like what were you envisioning did you ever see yourself becoming an actor or was it just more of

00:11:21.180 a fun thing it was like it was a little bit of both yeah I really did see myself becoming an

00:11:27.020 actor and I didn't really know what that looked like I think because I think I realized I wanted

00:11:32.000 to be an actor when I started seeing like plays like children's theater yeah I don't think I

00:11:36.620 made the leap that like the movie like like yeah the movie I watched was also an actor

00:11:41.600 that makes sense yeah so I think for a really really long time it was just theater and it was

00:11:45.940 like yeah it was I couldn't envision myself on like a tv show it was like doing theater right

00:11:52.320 that was what an actor was and it really wasn't until I wonder when it when it changed over for

00:11:56.660 me definitely like high school yeah but I started acting when I was a kid you know when I was like

00:12:01.980 nine and just a school play here in a school play there yeah but being obsessed and then getting

00:12:07.860 into like children's theater and and community theater fun yeah and I know you've done your time

00:12:12.340 in improv oh yeah I talk about it like when people go to San Quentin yes like this is like

00:12:16.540 and every actor I've ever met or comedian or both yeah they always talk about improv they're like

00:12:21.660 god it's so cringy that being said I am very proud oh yeah that's the thing is I'm like maybe

00:12:26.700 the exception that I'm like it's not cringy it's fucking great it's magic I love it it's an art 0.96

00:12:31.660 form it is it is I I understand I really understand people like talking shit about it or feeling 0.93

00:12:38.060 cringy about it but a lot of times I'm like that's because you've seen bad improv which is

00:12:42.880 which is rampant we're invalid yes sometimes bad art bad art is also valid and to be an audience

00:12:49.480 member watching bad improv is hell on earth you're so torturous experience it's totally because

00:12:56.640 you're like you're feeling you're like empathizing with them you're you're it's too intense yeah in

00:13:03.760 the room with them you're like in their head but i feel like watching good improv is like watching

00:13:08.480 a magic trick or watch i don't know i think it's incredible i love it i love how passionate i love 0.87

00:13:14.880 it i love it when it's good it's fucking magic that's true that's true and that's just the truth 0.69

00:13:20.500 and that's just true my younger brother uh who's turning 22 this year happy birthday he's oh just 0.96

00:13:26.080 like this year we're all turning something this year everybody happy birthday happy birthday um

00:13:30.860 he recently started getting into community theater okay and my mom has been encouraging

00:13:35.780 him forever and he's always been like nah and then recently he got approached by someone that 0.92

00:13:40.360 at the school he goes to to join community theater and he was like this is fucking awesome he loves

00:13:45.100 it he loves it and he was in a production already of high school musical okay and when he called us 0.99

00:13:50.760 he was like i think i'm gonna go out for the big roles i was like fuck it dude you got it yeah and

00:13:55.260 then when he did it he he got cast as troy and also zeke wait so he was just switching roles 0.92

00:14:01.540 not in the same shows but on different days holy i know he's got a broadway schedule now

00:14:05.820 doing two shows a night so he's so good that wait i don't know high school musical but i kind of do

00:14:10.140 is that the two leads yeah well troy is the lead right and then zeke's like i would say like a b

00:14:15.860 side character like still he's like third or four on the call sheet damn yeah still wow and so we

00:14:21.300 went and watched and like I haven't watched community theater and I don't know how long

00:14:26.260 but we went we took our whole family we took all our friends like there was literally 20 of us

00:14:31.180 for just him right and then there was maybe in total maybe 27 people so we made up a majority

00:14:37.200 of that audience that's so cute doesn't matter though like we were front row like we had shirts

00:14:41.920 on oh my god and we watched him and it was the most fun like I had so much fun watching it yeah

00:14:49.180 and it was funny because at the end they did this thing at the end where like

00:14:53.260 all of them were doing they were doing we're all in this together that's like the the very end cap

00:14:58.320 song and then they kept playing it like again and like looping the chorus so that they could all

00:15:04.460 kind of switch positions and all be in the front right and they kept doing the same dance moves

00:15:10.040 and then it would switch again and then they were doing it again and we're like okay so this is

00:15:14.720 about the fourth time and then they cut the music and and it was just them singing the first parts

00:15:21.020 of each song throughout the entire movie at the end was like 40 minutes right and so when we got

00:15:26.760 in the garbage over like wow that was so fun and then we were talking carrie my friend carrie was

00:15:31.540 there too she goes there was a point at the end where it did feel unbearable right was your brother

00:15:38.220 in the car with you no no no no we told him later yeah no he's heard all of this trust me

00:15:44.500 where you're just sort of like what's what's happening now yeah yeah do you guys need me

00:15:49.160 for this part yeah or can i you missed your exit y'all yeah yeah okay well third time's a charm

00:15:54.220 so let's see you hear it again and that's how i feel about community theater i'm like there is

00:15:58.560 points where it feels torturous i'm sure it's the same with improv i haven't watched but i know a

00:16:02.740 good improv show is fun it really is a really good one it really is i mean it's like i mean i could

00:16:07.980 get too like uh deep but like I really do think that when it's done well I mean I you know I came

00:16:17.540 up at you in UCB in New York yeah in an era of like I swear to god the funniest people I'm saying

00:16:26.440 this with like my whole ass the funniest people on the planet right like the geniuses true like

00:16:33.460 like comedic geniuses yeah and it is it was like brilliant like you know watching it when i was 0.94

00:16:40.180 a student and then getting to perform with the people that i was obsessed with it was like

00:16:44.580 i couldn't have been doing anything more exciting or better like it was my it was my favorite thing

00:16:50.100 it was yeah amanda described it as your ucb royalty improv royalty that's what she said

00:16:57.380 that was her exact quote that she said to me it's funny i mean like i i have such a

00:17:02.020 love for UCB and it really like gave me everything yeah and I know it had people have different

00:17:08.560 feelings about it and depending on like when they came through or where I don't know whatever

00:17:13.460 there's different feelings about it and I get it yeah and you know I came up in a time it sounds

00:17:18.020 like the dust bowl or whatever but like when there weren't a lot of women so you know it was like

00:17:23.080 a gal per team if you're lucky yeah and so I kind of came up in a weird moment but it's you know it

00:17:31.360 got better and I don't know I think it trained me hard you know yeah totally it like gave me some

00:17:38.380 sort of I don't know what in the trenches something I really do feel like that yeah well

00:17:42.960 and that's a beautiful thing especially in this industry right I feel like you have to have tough

00:17:47.500 skin I do too especially if you're an improv right like you were telling me you are yeah yeah you 0.98

00:17:52.140 gotta really not give a fuck exactly because sometimes you're gonna like die on stage right 0.94

00:17:56.540 and that's also okay you know like I it's all part of the experience I've realized over the 0.97

00:18:01.420 years that some of my like best moments not not for the audience yeah but for making me who I am

00:18:08.340 was like bombing you know and figuring out what why and what that felt like and what I did wrong

00:18:13.540 or whatever or how I could handle it yeah that makes a lot of sense that that's also similar

00:18:18.140 to what I hear from my friends who are stand-ups like they're like a lot of times like bombing is

00:18:22.640 part of it like you have to bomb in order how to know not to right and then it's like information

00:18:27.240 yeah information download yeah and sometimes you cry yourself to sleep but it is like you know you

00:18:33.680 learn from it and you're like I love the art I love the art I love the art that's why I'm doing

00:18:37.320 it I love the art not for validation right right right yeah really really really so you said in

00:18:41.700 college that's kind of where you decided like hey I think I'm gonna lean into what I love yeah I

00:18:46.740 think it was like in high school the the the idea of do I want to go to a school for theater

00:18:53.000 and therefore that's what my life will be is kind of where I was at or do I want to like you know

00:18:57.300 do something more broad and maybe figure out a different path yeah I was so dead set on theater

00:19:01.900 like I even did like a report about it almost like the equivalent of like a thesis paper I don't

00:19:09.800 it was called like the the I don't remember something as a junior something like whatever

00:19:15.140 the fuck some like some big paper that you had to write about like your future and do some research 0.77

00:19:19.900 and and that's when I was like I want to go to school for theater this is what I want to do 0.99

00:19:23.720 with my life I don't see anything else I really don't see anything else that's tea it's like

00:19:29.300 lucky and also delusional right it has to be right yeah you have to be a little bit delusional

00:19:37.060 i've told people that yes and i and it makes a lot of sense for this especially yeah it's funny

00:19:41.640 because i think of myself as like grounded and level-headed yeah and this is that is not that

00:19:47.040 this is not that you're so me i am i what's your sign cap oh interesting say happy birthday to me

00:19:53.280 yeah oh happy birthday this year yeah it passed away but it'll come back that's right that's right

00:19:58.440 well this you're starting today yes that's true anyway yeah sorry yeah um and you said virgo

00:20:04.660 yes i don't really know signs but let me just remember virgo is what february no no you're

00:20:10.140 actually so far off you guys all giggled i love it virgo november closer september september yeah

00:20:17.260 closer okay yeah i think um you're september 17th you're so close okay september 18th oh i couldn't

00:20:25.980 oh my god you were so close you practically had it that's like literally that's how women react

00:20:30.240 they're like oh my god how'd you know that you're not even right i'm not even right but i'm right

00:20:34.620 but you're right the 18th are you a january cap january 4th yeah okay i know i i've met quite a

00:20:42.260 few capricorns in this industry yeah um that align with me greatly on that interesting because i feel

00:20:48.380 the same way i was very grounded and level-headed and realistic in my head and about my future but

00:20:54.180 i knew i wanted to be in entertainment yeah i just personally i don't think thought i don't i don't

00:20:59.320 think at the time i thought that theater was an option like at the time i was like well that's not

00:21:03.680 for me because nobody looks like me on the on the tv but like maybe if i went another route yeah so

00:21:10.080 that's why i picked sports like i did sports journalism yeah and because i was like well then

00:21:13.640 i'll get on camera totally and then maybe i'll do like personality stuff and like i did love sports

00:21:18.420 i grew up playing sports so i figured like oh this like makes sense yeah um but i never i it was the

00:21:23.480 same thing where i was kind of like well i have to think about the future yeah which no one was

00:21:26.800 really doing I was in high school right so I was like I have to focus a particular type of brain

00:21:31.880 does yeah I think so yeah that's interesting and then did sports journalism right which led you on

00:21:38.120 camera yes and then well ish yeah and then that got you like basically you were like I like being

00:21:43.580 on camera I like like yes yes I definitely learned how to talk on camera and I learned how to like

00:21:49.800 not feel weird talking to a camera skill yeah so like and I learned how to edit right yeah that

00:21:55.280 kind of thing light mike all that kind of stuff because it was like all underneath the journalism

00:21:59.560 right right up damn um so then i learned all those skills i learned like premiere pro i learned like

00:22:04.940 everything photoshop all that stuff and then um graduated couldn't get a job too hard yeah 0.95

00:22:10.260 eventually got fired hired by the nfl she said fired and well then i did get okay yeah so that

00:22:15.780 was that's why i was jumping the gun so i did eventually get fired by the nfl yes yes yeah

00:22:21.140 that was like a couple I would say I graduated from college in 2017 I got fired in 2020 oh like

00:22:27.640 literally two maybe three weeks before the COVID heartbreaking yeah it was awful yeah and like

00:22:33.020 because I like I said I was very realistic about career path I was like so adamant about sticking

00:22:38.820 to what I committed to and not changing I was like I'm not changing subjects I'm not changing majors

00:22:42.740 I'm sticking on this focus focus yeah and I was like this is gonna work out for me that's what

00:22:46.860 and it did until it didn't until it didn't then they changed subjects on you right they said

00:22:51.740 please leave and never come back i said okay okay okay are you sure okay well okay but if i leave

00:22:57.740 i'm not coming back and they said yep that's what we said yes that's what we asked yeah so then

00:23:03.300 it's but that of course you know one of those things where it's like and that led you

00:23:06.940 to posting dipshit videos on tiktok honestly you couldn't have gotten here without that

00:23:11.240 right so it all works all all rejection is misdirection it is or redirection sorry not

00:23:16.400 misdirection yeah that's not an inspiring quote rejection is redirection misdirection absolutely

00:23:23.040 yeah i wouldn't have even batted an eye yeah they both kind of yeah yeah yeah yeah so then i started

00:23:29.300 posting videos on tiktok but that was only because like my fiance was i was feeling very lost and

00:23:35.640 like i didn't know what i was gonna do and i was like i'd never been fired before so i was like

00:23:40.860 what am I supposed to do and then the world shut down totally I mean everybody was at home so yeah

00:23:44.760 like you felt double loss yeah like I felt super turned around like I I felt so lost that I did

00:23:51.000 75 hard and that's how you know something's fucked up wait you did what 75 hard have you ever heard 0.66

00:23:55.080 of that challenge no don't ever look it up okay don't look it up is it about drinking no it's 0.77

00:23:59.540 it's one of those like self-help things that you do when you're at your very lowest it's it's the

00:24:04.640 let them theory before that oh gotcha gotcha yeah so it's kind of like Caleb my friend Caleb has

00:24:09.220 likened it right he's likened it to the artist's way yeah that book yeah it's the same thing okay

00:24:13.880 so it's like when you're doing that it's like let me check in on you a little bit more you

00:24:16.820 are you all right yeah you sure i have another not theory but i'll just say theory about you

00:24:22.060 which is that you probably had never been fired from anything before like you are yeah you are

00:24:27.000 not the person who gets fired you're the person who leaves yes i would think about you always i

00:24:31.780 think that you're probably the person that's like i want to do this thing and people are like yay

00:24:35.160 you can do it yeah you're like okay and then so something like a firing I mean yeah yeah 0.99

00:24:41.480 a firing for like an overachiever like like um well-liked person can really rock your ass 0.99

00:24:48.700 you know you said it just like turns your world upside down yeah absolutely it was it was one of 0.96

00:24:53.720 those and I think it's because like what I think at the time especially I really took a lot of

00:24:59.740 confidence and stock in yeah was my accomplishments right and how how accomplished i was at such a

00:25:05.240 young age like accomplishing everything i've ever said i was going to like it was like this big

00:25:10.360 and a lot of it's hubris i think too at by that measure but like it was one of those things where

00:25:14.940 i was like this is what makes me me if i don't have this what am i so what does that say about

00:25:18.580 me but then also again like i mean i'm sure there's we could like there's some like greek

00:25:24.760 tragedy or whatever that where hubris is like the whole thing where it's like yeah you need to have

00:25:29.260 the firing in order to like become who you are for real and have like perspective yeah it almost

00:25:34.720 felt like i had my saturn return like a little bit early yeah yeah yeah i was like i had that

00:25:40.100 about three or four years early and i totally know what saturn return is you should i know 1.00

00:25:45.220 you should you work you work with enough lesbians yeah you should saturn return saturn return yeah 1.00

00:25:51.000 and astrology got to brush up on both i do i totally do it's saturn return typically happens 1.00

00:25:56.220 I believe someone will jump me or correct me if I'm wrong but it's around 27 28 that's like a

00:26:01.900 normally like a big change something like you have what feels like the worst year of your life

00:26:07.480 interesting just you cannot get up like the universe will not let you get up everything

00:26:11.720 horrible happens so in 2020 that's when I got fired COVID happened I got COVID um I almost

00:26:20.960 broke up with my man it was like the worst year ever yeah in the history of time yeah so I felt

00:26:25.260 like i got mine a little bit early yeah you did i did get it out of the way did you have a really

00:26:28.440 life-changing moment like that in your 20s did i have a life-changing moment i think i i my 20s i

00:26:35.380 spent in new york it was like the best of times and the worst of times like it was so fun but i

00:26:43.320 was like so poor yeah and just struggling actor ass life like just it was a mix of things because

00:26:50.680 i was things were going well at ucb although not immediately yeah you know um auditioning and not

00:26:57.620 getting it or whatever but then kind of like redirecting my goals to be fully ucb encompassing

00:27:03.180 which you know i moved to new york to like be on broadway and to be an actor and then all of a

00:27:08.280 sudden my like vision got very narrow to just ucb so i had like ups and downs in there but i don't

00:27:13.960 know what my saturn return was if anything maybe that's a good thing well or maybe the whole

00:27:19.440 experience of trying to make it as an actor yeah my 20s your whole 20s yeah i've i've joked about

00:27:24.580 that with people not because i turned 30 last year yeah so like in my nope she laughed

00:27:29.000 i was yeah you're no same um but when i turned 30 i like i felt more myself i feel like my 30s are

00:27:41.560 the fucking best years ever yeah also now that i'm 30 i'm like resetting so i'm like i'm 30 yeah 0.55

00:27:47.960 totally to everyone who's older i'm like well i just turned 30 yeah yeah whereas when i was 29 0.93

00:27:51.660 i felt like i was hanging on yeah 29 is weird yeah it was a very strange age i i i joked often 0.99

00:27:57.660 that i was like i wish i could jump from 28 to 30 yes i don't need 29 that's fucking stupid ass age 0.99

00:28:02.280 i don't need that shit you know what's funny is i felt like that and you you said fiance earlier i 1.00

00:28:06.240 felt like that about fiance the word fiance i was like i wish i could go from like boyfriend to 0.97

00:28:10.080 husband fiance felt like i was like always embarrassed you know that's why i felt saying

00:28:15.200 boyfriend for the longest time too but i think it's because i was with my man before we got

00:28:19.960 engaged for seven years yeah yeah which like if you tell anyone under 22 that they're like oh my

00:28:26.340 god that's a thousand years but i was like it's a good thing you don't get married yeah right away

00:28:31.520 when i'm 23 seven years is a great amount of time or whatever it was so yeah it was seven before we

00:28:37.160 got engaged yeah so we got engaged our seventh year now next year will be 10 years and like my

00:28:42.340 parents too like my parents uh my mom jokes that they did everything backwards because my parents

00:28:47.560 had kids first and then they moved in together then they got married so like they did everything

00:28:52.340 backwards and my mom my mom was with my dad had two children and got married like before she got

00:28:57.440 married and like lived together before they got married because my mom's whole thing was like i

00:29:01.520 want you to marry me because you want to marry me not because we have kids totally so like i have

00:29:05.860 always had a very different viewpoint of marriage yeah like i've always been like well that's a

00:29:10.040 choice like you guys choose to be together forever so like I'm gonna wait to choose yeah

00:29:14.720 because what if we get to year four and you suck right no I think that's really smart yeah jumping

00:29:19.020 into it I know it's like you know when you know and all that stuff but just the like living together

00:29:23.840 and being in each other's lives and also you know seven years ten years you see like a change you

00:29:31.000 know people change yes and if it's like are we changing together are we changing apart yes exactly

00:29:36.340 i mean i would i would vote for seven to ten years that's what i'm saying i will it's also

00:29:40.600 like you said if you know you know well if you know what's the rush well that's the other thing

00:29:44.580 that's how we were my husband and i were yeah we were sort of like well we're gonna be together

00:29:48.820 forever but we don't need to get married and then that was sort of the thing that made us want to

00:29:52.860 get married right that we were both like well we don't really believe in marriage so let's just do

00:29:55.920 it you're literally so me really like i was like yeah i was exactly the same way i felt very i

00:29:59.860 didn't feel averse to marriage at all it just didn't feel like something i was gunning for

00:30:03.560 same it felt very like well yeah I mean if it makes sense yeah yeah and then honestly after I

00:30:08.600 I got that out of the way I was like well I could see for sure I want to marry you yeah and even

00:30:13.280 like with him like when we first started dating he he had said before like I don't think I ever

00:30:18.060 want to get married and I don't want kids yeah and then when he started dating me he was like

00:30:21.600 I definitely want to get married I'm still kind of unsure about the kids right but now like we

00:30:25.980 don't want children yeah and we decided that in 2020 if you can believe once again one of the

00:30:30.760 worst years of my life but that was like another thing that we went through yeah but that was when

00:30:34.200 we decided and then at that point even less so time means nothing at that point like because

00:30:39.580 if you're thinking about biological clock that's one thing but again like you don't need to get

00:30:43.020 married yeah you don't need to I have like this sort of specific memory of us walking we were

00:30:48.640 like on a long walk in New York we'd like seen a movie and we were taking a long walk home

00:30:52.340 and it was sort of like an admittance admittance I'm maybe making that word up of like well I don't

00:30:58.300 really believe in it like i don't think i almost like i think it's like bullshit we're like signing

00:31:04.460 a paper and like shaking hands and saying like forever you're right and we were we sort of like

00:31:09.620 said that to each other like do you like that's how i feel i i know i shouldn't feel like that

00:31:14.540 but that's how i feel and he was like i feel the same way and truly it was like that was the thing

00:31:19.300 that i guess this is my god yeah no you're you're so real though because that that was one of those

00:31:25.200 things too we had this issue with kids too well issue is a strong word for it but we both had

00:31:30.420 this fear I guess where it's like I know I think I know how I feel now that it's gotten this serious

00:31:35.420 yeah but I'm a little afraid to bring it up just in case our answers don't align yeah totally so

00:31:40.120 that's that's how we felt about both of those subjects like but then once we talked through

00:31:43.840 marriage we're like well yeah like I mean as long as it's not done in a very like I guess like

00:31:49.880 western colonial way then like yeah i could see myself doing that for sure and that's kind of the

00:31:55.400 thing yeah you can that's what i think we also realize is like you can make it your own right

00:31:59.920 it's it's nobody's but your own hey y'all it's drew and one thing you need to know i am intimately

00:32:06.800 familiar with is the high cost of rent and the mortgage both past and present girl and i have

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00:33:15.900 at joinbilt.com slash comment that's j-o-i-n-b-i-l-t.com slash comment make sure you use our

00:33:25.560 link so they know i sent you back to the episode okay love you bye when i had posted about getting 0.85

00:33:30.920 engaged like you would think after all the years i've been like fucking up man and then like just 0.95

00:33:36.860 saying like oh your fucking boyfriend's so unlucky blah blah blah i'm like okay no for sure yeah um 0.99

00:33:42.220 when i got engaged because they were like he's never gonna marry you i got engaged all of a 1.00

00:33:46.340 sudden it turned into something else entirely which is like oh that's a shut up ring yeah and

00:33:51.440 i was like you don't you don't give those well they don't look like this as soon as i walked in

00:33:58.060 i was like i was like i don't think shut up rings you would know that you wouldn't he's not i mean

00:34:03.560 i don't i've never met him but i just even knowing you in this little moment yeah like you don't

00:34:08.600 that's not who you would be with no absolutely not and I also think like I'm like you're not even

00:34:13.180 well this I guess speaks to the misogyny of it all at large but it's like you're not even factoring

00:34:17.480 my choice yeah we're not we didn't haven't gotten married because go ahead ask me why yeah I didn't

00:34:22.340 want to get married that's why you're not waiting for yeah I was like I did not want to get married

00:34:27.180 and he has told me whenever you're ready you let me know yeah and then the seventh year I don't I

00:34:32.920 didn't know and we didn't talk about it but in my head I was like I feel like this is the year

00:34:37.180 and that was just like because my book had come out like my career's never been better at the

00:34:41.120 time it's even better now and like we were like so settled and ready so it just kind of it's like

00:34:45.720 we both knew yeah and then he just kind of did it and he was like I can't wait anymore I think I

00:34:51.020 need to marry you yeah and I was like period that's how you said it you're like period yeah I said

00:34:55.520 period no I was honestly so a blubbering mess and it was like honestly really annoying a lot of

00:35:00.660 people were like did you guys record it and I was like no yeah and when he had set it up because I

00:35:04.280 was so surprised when he had set it up at the place we were at like no one was there which is

00:35:08.960 what I preferred I wanted to be alone to be insane however I felt after um but they were like do you

00:35:15.180 have video and even at the hotel they were like oh we can have someone take pictures and video or

00:35:18.700 whatever and he was like she would hate that so no yeah and I was like then it's just mine yeah

00:35:23.940 the memory just belongs to me yeah exactly what about yours was yours romantic ours yeah I mean

00:35:28.520 it was romantic but it was like I don't really like romantic things you and me and me both girl

00:35:33.400 that's what i said he played it exactly the way i needed it private it was like our kind of

00:35:38.300 romantic yeah he we like i'm from the bay area and he had said something he like did the he did

00:35:46.000 like a bit of a long game with it like right we were going to visit home and he had said something

00:35:52.720 months ago about like when we go visit your family we never go to san francisco we always

00:35:56.680 like stay in the east bay and i looked up literally like army barracks or something

00:36:01.640 in like the mountains of san francisco that i want to check out and i was like sure you're like not

00:36:06.920 really even yeah talking it right just like yeah whatever next time we'll go on a little road trip

00:36:11.700 or whatever so it was already planted in a way where when we were visiting my family he's like

00:36:17.400 i want to go check out those army decks and i was like okay okay nerd yeah exactly i'll let him have

00:36:22.580 this and we went we sort of like um i think it's called like the marin headlands or something i

00:36:29.600 might be wrong but it's like oh these beautiful cliffs overlooking the golden gate bridge and

00:36:34.860 there were like these barracks there so i didn't even i just didn't even know no yeah but i did 0.99

00:36:41.080 say something like if you don't have a ring in your pocket you're an idiot the only because the 0.99

00:36:48.280 view was like it was like so beautiful yeah yeah that i was almost like oh well this is where you 1.00

00:36:52.920 do it but I did not I would never have said that if I thought he did have that yeah so then we were

00:37:01.220 like you know having a nice little time on the overlooking what looking at the view and everything 0.90

00:37:05.800 and then when he proposed like the first thing I said was like fuck why did I say this thing about 0.94

00:37:10.220 the ring I ruin everything I always run everything it's funny you say that because the night that I 0.94

00:37:15.520 got proposed to right before because he did it in the hotel room that we have and it wasn't weird

00:37:20.800 because i and i didn't think i was getting proposed because i planned the getaway yeah because i was

00:37:25.100 on tour during our anniversary so this was like he was with me on tour and so this was a makeup for

00:37:31.040 it so i planned the whole weekend so obviously i knew what was happening so i didn't think anything

00:37:34.640 would happen which worked perfectly but like we did this like um what's the what do you call it

00:37:41.640 when you do omakase that's what it is so we went to an omakase restaurant like the night of and

00:37:47.040 And it's like, you know, Omikase is like real intimate.

00:37:48.740 So there's only like eight people.

00:37:50.280 Yeah.

00:37:50.660 And the sushi chef was like the host of the night.

00:37:53.120 And he was like serving us and explaining everything, whatever.

00:37:55.560 And we got there like a couple minutes late.

00:37:57.340 So everyone had gotten their first course.

00:37:58.840 He's like, oh, let me set you guys up.

00:38:00.100 But because we were a couple minutes late, he was like asking us questions in front of everyone.

00:38:04.980 And he was like, oh, you guys are celebrating something.

00:38:07.960 And we're like, oh, yeah, we're celebrating anniversary.

00:38:10.140 And he's like, oh, how many years?

00:38:11.640 And I said seven.

00:38:12.440 He goes, oh, you've been married seven years.

00:38:13.460 I was like, oh, no, we're not married.

00:38:14.880 Not yet.

00:38:15.580 Right.

00:38:15.780 I was like, we're not married.

00:38:16.400 and then he was like really seven years not married and i think he was like trying to be

00:38:22.680 funny and i was like oh sushi chef has jokes totally oh sushi chef's working a type five

00:38:27.560 love that get back to the omakase thanks my fish yeah i was like let's get back to the let's keep

00:38:32.700 the main thing yeah yeah and i was like and then he was like oh well like making a razzing kind of

00:38:37.740 joke and i was like i love this yeah and then he like moved on and i remember like he moved on and

00:38:43.840 then to my man i went that guy right i was like we'll get married when we're ready exactly and at

00:38:50.820 one point too i was like there was i think his phone uh flashlight was on like accidentally

00:38:56.780 and um i was like oh i think there's like a light like in your bag and he goes what

00:39:01.440 like that's what he said he's like what right and i was like oh there's a light i think your

00:39:05.600 iphone light is on and he was like oh yes and i remember that happening and thinking the hell's

00:39:11.900 your problem right and then i realized that when after he proposed to me the ring box he had a huge

00:39:17.740 light in it oh my god so he said like sometimes if it cracked even a little the light would be on

00:39:21.680 and i thought it was beaming out of my bag and i was gonna be like you saw it but i was literally

00:39:26.960 like no you're right but when he went what i was like what is wrong with you oh yes you are correct

00:39:32.980 yeah and i was like and he was like oh right yes you're like i want to leave yeah i know we get

00:39:39.320 into a fight yeah exactly even when we left i was kind of drunk and like when we left i was like

00:39:43.440 and then he was like do you want to go for a walk it was like 10 p.m yeah and we were on the coast

00:39:48.060 on like in a beach town so it was like pitch black outside and i was like it's kind of dark outside

00:39:53.800 and he was like he was like okay so now walk and i was like well it's kind of dark outside he's

00:39:58.960 like all right let's go to the room yeah and then i i realized that when we got to the room there 0.98

00:40:02.240 was like flowers everywhere balloons everywhere and even then my dumb ass was like oh wow like 0.99

00:40:08.400 that's so beautiful because and this makes me sound like a dick i'm prefacing it now okay he 0.99

00:40:13.300 does things like that all the time right right right constantly so like it it would it would 0.92

00:40:17.740 ring nothing crazy to me at all i was like wow like that's so nice i was like wow that's so

00:40:22.600 beautiful and then i turned around and he was on one knee and i was like what are you doing that's

00:40:26.980 all i said so funny i have this similar thing which is like and it's i guess i would preface

00:40:32.480 it with the same thing where jason was like we were looking at this view and he was saying all

00:40:36.540 this nice beautiful stuff about me and our relationship and i still didn't clock it because

00:40:41.360 i'm like he would say that right that's what he would obviously i'm a delight obviously so it was

00:40:46.240 the same thing where i didn't clock it until it was like down on one knee and then i was like what

00:40:49.820 the fuck right me too i literally said what are you doing for about two minutes same i like covered 0.88

00:40:57.300 it i couldn't look at it me too shut up i swear to god i'm not making that up i literally i told 0.98

00:41:02.700 him i said i can't even look i can't even look at it same way i can't even look and then when i 0.62

00:41:05.940 looked i was like oh my god i can't i can't i can't and then when he put he's like can i it was funny 0.53

00:41:10.500 because i was doing that weird babbling shit yeah yeah for so long and he was just letting me do it

00:41:16.220 and then after when there was a break finally he was like can i say what i was gonna say and i was 0.85

00:41:20.580 like yeah yeah yeah oh sorry sorry sorry yeah go ahead and then he he said everything to me and

00:41:25.440 then that made me cry and then i was like he was like okay and he like showed it to me and i was

00:41:29.400 like i can't i can't i can't and then he was like can i put it on your finger and i was like yes yes

00:41:34.120 of course and then when he put it on I literally couldn't look at it I was like I can't I can't

00:41:37.940 look at it it's like overwhelming me it is wild it's it's like it's like surreal yeah and I think

00:41:44.200 even for you and me type of girls which is like not maybe dreaming of that our lives it's still

00:41:49.980 a little bit like oh I've seen this in movies I know this moment yes exactly and I and I was like

00:41:55.220 and I think and maybe you felt this way too I think part of me was like well I'm gonna be able

00:41:59.640 to tell yeah right like i was like obviously i'm extremely perceptive and smart i'm gonna be able

00:42:05.020 to tell and it caught me so off guard we i so didn't know that okay he had gotten the ring or

00:42:11.740 i should actually god if i must tell you he made the ring so did my i'm gonna that's what i think

00:42:17.980 so what the same same made it yeah wow it took like six months or something he was telling me

00:42:23.620 that's crazy i know anyone else what if we were married to the same guy

00:42:27.100 we like show a picture and we're like like have you have you seen this man yeah yeah um but he

00:42:35.040 taped it okay so we made it and then taped it under a bookshelf okay does this make sense a

00:42:40.720 bookshelf that had like a little opening at the bottom yeah taped it under for months and i didn't

00:42:45.620 know that's so smart during that time we got robbed we lived on like the fifth floor of a

00:42:52.120 hell's kitchen apartment and someone came in from the roof oh my god came in through the window

00:42:57.700 robbed us blind which is nothing because we were so poor there was like nothing worth they were

00:43:02.480 like man this house sucks yeah other than like a diamond ring taped under which they didn't know

00:43:06.320 about thank god i know that is so funny yeah he he made the ring too for us like he built it from 0.79

00:43:13.780 scratch with a jeweler that his family has worked with before and he was like yeah i was going to

00:43:20.000 like months of appointments and he like yeah i i was so confused because i he had told me how long

00:43:24.680 it took and i was like and he told me he went to my parents house which is even crazier because like

00:43:29.580 i know my parents have a ring i'm like attached to it so i was like what like he just planned it

00:43:35.220 all so that i was gone completely every single time and he could do all of it and ask like tell 0.96

00:43:39.720 my parents and everything like that so it was like truly like he got my ass totally it is it's 0.87

00:43:44.700 It's like a shocking thing when you're like real partners with someone where you're like, I know you, I trust you. 0.96

00:43:51.320 Right.

00:43:51.640 We don't lie to each other.

00:43:52.680 Right.

00:43:53.140 To be like, oh, you lied to me.

00:43:54.840 Yeah.

00:43:55.140 Oh, so you can lie.

00:43:57.080 Oh, okay.

00:43:57.940 First lie.

00:43:58.820 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:59.220 And it's funny because right before, I think the week before he proposed to me, we were talking about, I forget what we were talking about, but I saw, like, do you know Twa Mois rings?

00:44:08.940 It's like two rings.

00:44:10.060 it's basically like two two diamonds or like two different shaped things and they basically

00:44:15.280 fuse them together so they sit like side by side trois mois right and I only know that because I

00:44:20.700 was like have you ever heard of this kind of ring design this is crazy and then he was like no I've

00:44:25.100 never heard of it I was like oh it looks really pretty I didn't say for me I never looked up

00:44:28.260 rings I never I didn't even know shapes nothing especially at the time so I just said it in

00:44:33.420 passing and then he was like for the last actually it was like a few weeks before he's like for the

00:44:37.880 last like two three weeks i have been staring at this ring thinking you're gonna hate it i was like

00:44:42.420 oh my god oh my god oh my god because you because i brought up a tuamuan he's like i text the jeweler

00:44:46.520 and they were like it's gonna take another three months and i was like no i want to propose now

00:44:49.760 and he's like so if you hate it like i can change it and i was like i don't hate it and i would be 0.99

00:44:54.680 the dumbest bitch alive if i did yeah totally i would be the craziest person alive oh my god 0.96

00:44:59.220 but that's crazy we have two thoughtful men i love that for us like for two girls that don't 1.00

00:45:03.000 give a shit about weddings or rings we're talking about it an awful lot well now i've earned the 0.60

00:45:08.980 right yeah nothing's gonna make me care quite like getting a beautiful one you know what i mean 0.99

00:45:12.600 i know but we will circle back to you and your illustrious career because that's more important

00:45:16.900 but i want to talk about your new show okay five star weekend the five star weekend i will say

00:45:23.020 and i would love to know what you are really excited about for this show like what are you

00:45:28.200 excited for people to gain or watch or consume okay anything and everything who's in it yes

00:45:32.560 please do i have a cast okay i'll even tell you you tell me i know it you know yeah starring

00:45:37.800 jennifer garner yes and she is her character has just suffered a devastating loss her husband died

00:45:44.860 and um it's in the trailer i didn't like anything not a spoiler right and she um invites a friend

00:45:52.600 from each her best friend from each era of her life so her childhood best friend is

00:45:57.940 Chloe Sevigny her college best friend is Regina Hall I'm like her sort of mom era best friend and

00:46:04.420 then her new best friend is Gemma Chan and she's having us all to know like Nantucket summer house 0.98

00:46:09.940 for a girls weekend and shit gets wild and shit gets wild you know like I mean if you think about 0.98

00:46:18.060 the reality of what that would be like like inviting your sort of four best friends from 0.99

00:46:21.520 different eras of your life that maybe don't know each other or maybe have preconceived notions of

00:46:25.560 each other or met at like a random wedding or whatever yeah like the the most random it might

00:46:29.720 not be a great vibe you know like it might be really uncomfortable and so there's you know

00:46:35.800 where it the whole show takes place over the course of like a sort of three four day weekend

00:46:40.180 and i just fell in love with those women yeah these are like four unbelievably accomplished 1.00

00:46:49.000 amazing actresses that i'm like obsessed with and have been obsessed with right and then to get to 1.00

00:46:54.180 like spend the whole you know last summer with them shooting this and we we shot most

00:46:59.180 in LA but we spent a month in Nantucket shooting I mean it was just too good yeah and I was the

00:47:06.620 last one cast so I had heard about the project already it was one of those ones where I was like

00:47:10.460 can't wait to watch this oh my gosh me I know that's so cool it just it really you know I think 0.99

00:47:19.240 um let's see five actresses right in a show five like lead actresses in the show could get like a

00:47:27.380 little hairy one bad egg would like really spoil the dozen i don't know what the saying is but

00:47:33.180 this was like a the the the chemistry was like absolutely perfect we it just was so nice we

00:47:39.100 nobody had worked together before nobody really knew each other we just bonded quickly and like

00:47:44.700 something happened we just like became i don't know we like got deep and open really fast and

00:47:50.520 it was like incredible it was incredible only women can do that i know i'm telling you i would

00:47:55.220 come home and like sit on the bed telling my jason husband about the day i like a like a

00:48:02.480 and then i'm like i'm in love with these women i am obsessed with i guess what i'm trying to say

00:48:08.980 is i'm in love yeah i'm in love and i don't care who knows it yeah it was really great that's that's

00:48:13.840 so incredible and like did you obviously you said you've like you love these actresses and

00:48:18.220 obviously they're extremely well decorated and accomplished like did you find yourself like

00:48:22.940 learning anything from them teaching anything to them like how was that like was the environment

00:48:27.300 collaborative like mostly me teaching them yeah I would say they need help yeah all the help they

00:48:32.440 can get no it was yeah it was definitely like um it was yeah it was one of those situations where

00:48:38.120 I couldn't um learn enough you know yeah like the way they interact with each other the crew

00:48:45.840 the way they carry themselves the it was like a um Jen in particular you know she's number one

00:48:52.340 on the call she's a producer on the show she's like so caring and generous and thoughtful

00:49:00.060 and it really trickled down and the other women are the same but like she really set the tone

00:49:05.260 for the entire show and crew and it was just like a it there was something up it was like a it was

00:49:12.660 just a warm it felt it just was really special it was really fast and like it just felt i feel like

00:49:21.840 we throw like it was a family around a little too much because it's like no it's not but it was just

00:49:28.100 you guys are not everybody just but this one for sure you can tell just like had each other's back 0.97

00:49:32.540 yeah and they're just like the utmost professional women that have been doing this shit for a long

00:49:39.400 time like holly's been acting since she was like an early teenager you know i mean these are like 0.72

00:49:44.160 these are women that have been through it and i yeah just i just didn't know what i mean was there

00:49:48.820 a lot of improv there was a little improv i'm curious to know if there was you know i try to

00:49:55.040 like keep it like it's the wolf inside you yeah yeah you're like i don't you know i've definitely

00:50:01.620 been on sets where you know improv is encouraged or where maybe an actor's like you can kind of

00:50:09.720 feel like I can't wait to get my improv out or whatever and I don't want that I don't want to

00:50:13.660 be that I don't like I really wait for my cue if that makes sense cue meaning like from the

00:50:18.500 director or the other actors that like that would be welcome to you know that makes sense because

00:50:23.160 sometimes it's like okay great you said a funny thing like that's not gonna actually let's stick

00:50:28.520 to what's on script yeah but I think we only have about three more hours of light so let's get in

00:50:33.320 there yeah oh where'd you go um come on up um but I think my character Brooke she's so awkward and

00:50:42.360 she's so like she's the last one she's sort of like can't believe she got invited she can't

00:50:49.300 believe her luck yeah like she gets to be on this amazing weekend yeah with these amazing women and

00:50:54.560 she's so not worthy and so I think that that did like lean into a lot of the comedy so I kind of

00:51:00.480 got to play a little bit yeah um and it was really fun I'm taking all the notes because I'm venturing

00:51:07.140 into acting I'm trying my hardest I do have an acting coach yeah um but I will ask I've been

00:51:12.980 asking a lot of my fellow tall girls and there's not many I know um about your height is it playing

00:51:18.880 against you when you do auditions okay this is a great question I mean it's a great question

00:51:22.900 because i'm like i gotta be real with you like i don't think it's helping yeah that's what i think

00:51:27.080 you know what i mean yeah i'm always thinking i'm like never factoring talent it's obviously

00:51:30.580 not that it has to be my height right right right right right totally totally that's what i'm telling

00:51:34.620 myself it's like you know i think it could be anything it could be right it really could it's

00:51:39.860 like we're you know um depending on the role depending on the whatever right we're not blonde 0.96

00:51:46.160 we're not whatever the fuck we don't have like i don't know what whatever it's calling for yeah 0.96

00:51:50.300 totally I'm not auditioning for a ton of roles that are like six feet tall or whatever I don't 0.91

00:51:56.580 know that it's I think I don't know and I yeah it's a big question mark but I don't think it's

00:52:03.280 I mean it's definitely not an asset right but I think it's like maybe a reason to even

00:52:07.980 you know like excuse me I'm just kidding right in the middle of my thought no I I don't I'm

00:52:15.900 kidding but like you know you saying that you're working with an acting coach yes like that I'm

00:52:19.460 like all that stuff is all you need to worry about that's true yeah like you put in the work

00:52:25.080 you get good at what you're trying to do yeah you have the personality you have the looks like you

00:52:31.080 have all of that and so much of it is that like so much much of it is like your vibe your aura

00:52:37.280 yeah that's true your like brightness your shininess yeah sparkle or whatever yeah um so

00:52:42.620 i would say like i don't i could also just lie and be like it's not an issue at all i think i'm

00:52:48.580 if I'm ever in a scene with a man I'm almost always taller than him right me too taking some

00:52:53.320 heels off sometimes yeah popping a hip out yeah but cheating it yeah but also it it's it's okay

00:53:00.320 and yeah and maybe now better than ever I don't know it's like right all they just gotta cast me

00:53:06.640 opposite Jacob Lorty he'll always be taller than me totally you'll look weird you too yeah I'll look

00:53:10.900 so tiny I'll be like Sabrina Carpenter yeah you know what I mean like yeah but I mean you know

00:53:16.640 it's it's um i feel like i've been lucky to work i don't i can't think of anyone that i've worked

00:53:22.560 with that it's been an issue for like any man i've worked with where they're like um upset or

00:53:28.240 anything you know that's good to know yeah that's good to hear because everybody and you know this

00:53:32.300 better than i do i'm sure everybody's itty bitty tiny everybody is tiny as hell yeah that's why

00:53:38.540 every room i go into i feel like an nba player i know i know this is like a kind of tall cast

00:53:43.360 Gemma's tall Jen's tall Chloe's tall and we're taller than her so she's always like what the

00:53:48.520 hell you know right but I mean tall meaning like five six five seven you know yeah which is I'm

00:53:53.940 still enormous for Hollywood yeah but it's okay and I think you know also we're more likely doing

00:54:01.820 comedy yes and I think it's just like more open yeah that's true like yeah not to say not to say

00:54:09.280 at all truly that you're not going to be the romantic lead because you are yeah i'm just

00:54:13.240 gonna play the boy no but you're not you're not just kidding i know i mean like that's the thing

00:54:17.640 is like you're gorgeous and tall is a huge part of that yeah wow i know it's hard for us i know

00:54:23.820 it's hard like yeah you go through phases of of like owning it and wishing you weren't and you

00:54:29.220 know like i remember a time in high school where i was like if i could take a saw and like cut the

00:54:35.100 you know like just if i could just be five five and then i owned it and then like i go through

00:54:42.140 phases of loving it and not loving it but yeah i feel that i get the more i'm like yeah i feel

00:54:47.260 i agree and i feel like they have more than enough apple boxes they can easily put men on top of

00:54:52.580 things if they need i also find it strange that tininess for men specifically is also a good

00:54:58.700 thing like even when i asked i asked my acting coach i was like should i start lying about my

00:55:02.700 heightened slates and then he was like no but he's like if you do like it should be like one

00:55:08.280 inch it should not be i was like you don't think i should hit him with a five seven yeah and he was

00:55:12.500 like show up on set yeah yeah fee five four fun for real i mean who the actress that works more

00:55:19.040 than any actress in hollywood right nicole kittman she is 5 11 that's so true yeah and we look a lot

00:55:27.080 alike so that would easily all three of us i know you could never tell the difference i know between

00:55:31.200 all three of us we're doing some sort of i just need to dye my hair red that's what we need to do

00:55:34.540 and then i'll start taking her roles that's true um i i really like i don't i'm not like afraid of

00:55:42.760 it necessarily but i'm like and this is part of my delusion where i'm like it's definitely not

00:55:46.620 talent it has to be that but i i feel pretty confident that i'm like i think if i just like

00:55:52.620 get in there and do a good enough job i'm sure it won't matter it is that is you know that's

00:55:57.860 what I keep telling myself that is actually the truth yeah yeah yeah I know you know this but

00:56:01.640 like you're gonna hear 5,000 no's right and then you get a yes yeah it sucks that that is the like

00:56:09.280 the what the the ratio yes it makes no sense like how are we still doing this right but you just

00:56:15.660 kind of get used to it and I'm sure you know I don't know how when you say you're like dipping

00:56:21.040 your toe into acting like I don't know how much you've been doing as far as auditioning and stuff

00:56:24.760 but it really lots of tapes yeah lots of tapes lots of tapes you I think my advice would be

00:56:29.540 do it and like flush it down the toilet of your mind that's a good point yeah let release it

00:56:36.380 release like the second you're done it's like it's gone yeah and then if you hear about it again

00:56:41.880 that's because you got a callback yeah if it's meant to be exactly but there but true you know

00:56:46.700 try not to like put too much I don't know like energy into the nose the outcome right I think

00:56:53.760 that's such a good reminder too because I feel like especially with art like that is one of

00:56:58.400 those things where I feel like I have to check in sometimes and I'm like the point of art is to make

00:57:03.000 it right or to be in it not to be rewarded for it or to be validated in it yeah so it's like

00:57:08.120 the point of art is to create and then if it works out it works out right but if not at least I'm

00:57:12.940 still doing something yes I this is like not exactly the same thing because we're talking

00:57:17.360 about auditioning and I'm like jumping to being on something but I I realized that recently or

00:57:22.920 lately I guess that like the outcome the show the movie is not actually my what I don't I almost

00:57:31.260 don't care like yeah once it's out doing the thing that's such a good point yeah day-to-day

00:57:35.880 yeah and the thing comes out a year or two later and like if people like it great if they don't

00:57:39.680 great yeah but I almost don't care and I'm caring less and less I'm like I want to work such a good

00:57:45.400 way of looking at it you can do it with auditions too yeah like you know on my best days when I'm

00:57:51.720 like not being a shithead about auditions i'm like i get the opportunity to act today for real i'm

00:57:56.580 gonna like show them a little gift i have you know and when i'm like really being positive about it 0.89

00:58:01.640 yeah that way and it's like who cares about the outcome yeah do this thing no that's a really

00:58:06.000 really good way of looking especially like that helps you i feel like i'm sure enjoy the process

00:58:11.000 more because the process is is grueling it's like what is this just being punched on yeah just being

00:58:18.520 beat up totally for however long I was and that speaking of I was gonna ask like what was the

00:58:23.060 first role you got where you were kind of like oh my god I can't believe it yeah it works totally

00:58:27.480 the auditioning I think you know I got to be on Broad City yes which was incredible yeah and we've

00:58:34.160 had Alana on and we love her yes and the thing about that was that I came up with them at UCB

00:58:39.820 so it was like they like rewarded me with that that wasn't an audition that was just like

00:58:43.960 the nicest thing well thank god you're fucking talented worked out they kind of like populated

00:58:49.780 their cast with just all the people that they had come up with which was amazing and they saw your 0.89

00:58:53.540 your enormous potential obviously it truly was like life-changing yeah but that one you know

00:58:59.100 you have a little bit almost like a little bit of like nepo feeling where you're like well they

00:59:03.320 just put me in it because we're friends so so auditioning and getting called back and then

00:59:08.440 callback and testing for the good place really felt like I had also I didn't know that I didn't

00:59:14.860 know Mike Schur the creator I mean I was like a huge fan of him but it's not like we'd worked

00:59:18.500 together before right up together or anything so that one felt like holy shit I like different

00:59:23.100 did it yeah and it was I don't know it was like one of a million auditions right but there was

00:59:30.000 something I mean the writing was genius and it was like I knew it was Ted Danson and I knew it

00:59:33.840 was Kristen Bell and I it was like such a dream I can't explain this enough I there was no world

00:59:42.280 in which I was gonna book it but I was like so excited to audition for him yeah totally I really

00:59:47.980 am not even being like coy or humble yes I'm not like there there wasn't even like a maybe this

00:59:55.420 one it was like I'm not gonna get it but I had this feeling where I was like I gotta make him

00:59:59.640 laugh in the audition yeah he's gonna remember me he's gonna make me the bus driver of season

01:00:05.440 three episode two scene five or whatever like i just was like i want to be in his like rolodex

01:00:10.460 of hell yeah to reach out to or whatever yeah anyway um but then it just like kept going well

01:00:15.860 and i would leave the auditions being like huh well wait we'll keep killing it right like that

01:00:21.200 couldn't have felt better i mean it's not gonna be me but like great that's what it feels that's 0.95

01:00:26.320 what like a good audition feels like you're just like me am i i do the same shit yeah yeah like 0.63

01:00:30.620 for a lot of things i'm like well yeah i guess we'll see but i'm also like what you were talking 0.58

01:00:35.340 about about making an impression that's been a lot of my with a lot of shit i've done i've been

01:00:39.700 like well i just need to get in front of them i really and when i get in front of them good luck

01:00:43.800 trying not to love me which is why a self-save is hell because you just want to get in the room

01:00:47.900 that's literally i'm like you guys need if you if you see me in person then maybe it is you know

01:00:51.960 it'll translate better it's really an issue and even like sometimes when i if i have like uh

01:00:57.880 talks with like other actors like yourself like who have been doing it for a while

01:01:01.500 or i interview someone on like carpets or something or even have a general they'll be like

01:01:05.900 are you acting like and i go yeah do you know anyone i was like i'm in a who want me phase so

01:01:10.720 go ahead let me know you let me know when you need me i know but i i'm taking notes from you

01:01:15.360 okay that's for sure well i've i've i'm old so i'm i got i got things to say but like you know

01:01:21.020 it's it's it's like a waiting game and it's you know you gotta love it and put in the time and

01:01:26.440 right you're doing everything right you know thank you really thank you and then just something

01:01:31.360 clicks like some it's like it's out it's like out of your hands you just have to do the do

01:01:36.580 everything you can to be to put your best shit forward right which is what you're doing yeah 0.60

01:01:42.240 and then all it takes is somebody being like yeah that's true I think telling myself too that it's 0.91

01:01:47.900 subjective and it's really just up to them like what they're looking for what they envisioned

01:01:52.840 that kind of thing all of that is playing a huge role in it that also kind of helped me too thinking

01:01:58.160 about it through that lens because I'm like well then it's just not what I'm what they're looking

01:02:01.740 for yeah not necessarily I suck totally right and and the other thing I want to say just to like

01:02:06.620 circle back to this is don't get in your head about the height thing thank you because it's

01:02:10.200 going to be the thing that gets you the thing yeah that's that's a good point because that

01:02:14.080 That has been like haunting me a little bit, especially when I have to do my slate every

01:02:19.340 time.

01:02:19.700 Why are you going to make me say it? 1.00

01:02:21.160 I was like, what do you need that shit for? 1.00

01:02:23.360 Yeah, yeah, totally. 1.00

01:02:23.780 Just bring me in.

01:02:24.740 Yes.

01:02:25.000 It's okay.

01:02:25.680 Let me do it.

01:02:26.320 Ask the other person.

01:02:27.100 Yeah.

01:02:28.320 Ask them if they're tall enough.

01:02:29.600 Yeah.

01:02:29.780 How's that?

01:02:30.380 Don't get in your head about that.

01:02:31.660 Thank you.

01:02:32.120 Yeah.

01:02:32.420 That's just another thing that's like outside of your control and it's going to be the gift

01:02:36.340 for some other role.

01:02:38.220 They're going to make me be the stunt double for The Rock.

01:02:40.160 That's what I've been saying.

01:02:41.220 They're going to make me stand in for him.

01:02:42.600 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:42.780 and hey i'll take it yeah i'm not being picky what about his daughter you should

01:02:47.100 that's true right his daughter and something i don't know he he calls me sis all the time i'm

01:02:52.640 like sis and sister that's who you are compared to me buddy you're a lot older than me all right

01:02:58.200 but i'm very excited at by the time this comes out your show will be out it is out yeah it is

01:03:03.880 out now it is out now really enjoying it so like is there any sort of feeling or emotion you hope

01:03:09.360 they take away after watching you know it's like it I read the book and reading all the scripts I

01:03:15.700 felt it's like there's something about female friendship like there's this kind of you I feel

01:03:23.380 seen in it it's not perfect right it's like no there are issues and it's not like it's it's

01:03:29.100 aspirational but not this is these are female friendships that I recognize yeah and it makes

01:03:35.780 you feel seen and it makes you feel like um like I know these people and I am these people and

01:03:40.580 and there's just something very cozy about it yeah I I can't tell you how much we like loved

01:03:46.580 doing it and it just I feel like yeah I don't know if cozy I don't know why I keep coming back to

01:03:52.100 cozy but when I think of this show I'm like get cozy yeah it's like familiar like it feels very

01:03:58.520 familiar there is like a depth to female friendship that is completely different from

01:04:04.460 any other connection you have in your life and I feel very convicted in that like and I feel so

01:04:09.640 like I feel so convicted too in the thought that you can be soulmates with friends like with

01:04:16.580 girlfriends especially like it's sisterhood like I think about it all the time where I'm like

01:04:20.300 oh my god if I if you had no women in your life that you love and who love you like I know I know

01:04:26.500 love is real because I've been loved by women I could not agree more like yeah specifically women

01:04:31.220 and this like yeah this really explores that and and and then not to again get too cheesy but we

01:04:37.200 really felt that with each other like there was something really and I'm like pointing to my phone

01:04:42.300 because we were talking all the time but that we really like check in on each other and right

01:04:45.760 take care of each other and it's like a very organic perfect um uh example yeah you know of

01:04:53.600 like what female friendship is totally and how it can fluctuate totally right like I I was just

01:04:59.240 talking about this with someone too about how like sometimes I'll get questions online because I have

01:05:03.940 like a lot of public friendships that I feel like are very real but they're just people just love

01:05:09.420 that we're friends yeah and so like sometimes people will ask me like how do I get friends

01:05:14.860 like that like how do I get other women to love you know I mean which is hard it's kind of a hard

01:05:19.000 question to answer but I always like say especially for young people um I feel like female friendship

01:05:25.420 especially because that's the only one i can speak to is like loving women through all phases

01:05:30.080 of their life which is interesting that you're saying like these are all women from different

01:05:33.040 phases of her life so it's like sometimes when people are very curt and judgmental about

01:05:37.800 friendship or how women are treating each other or whatever sometimes i think i'm like you're

01:05:42.280 young so you don't know what it feels like to love someone like a woman that you're not

01:05:48.020 romantically involved with you love them through all of their isms all of their mistakes all of

01:05:53.460 their faults like all of their faults you see every side of them and you still choose to love

01:05:57.500 them because i feel like platonic love is a lot of times far more important than romantic love

01:06:01.880 and it's also a choice like you get to decide if you want to love your friends like that and

01:06:06.540 support them years and years yes exactly through many different phases of life yeah and i think

01:06:10.860 that's beautiful to hear that that that's being depicted yeah yeah yeah i'm loving that yeah i

01:06:15.980 love that especially your stacked cat it's so stacked it's amazing yeah and i think you are

01:06:21.280 incredible i think you're incredible thank you so much i have some fun facts about you though

01:06:25.760 oh my god and they're gonna get super fun okay well you can let me know if they're fun i always

01:06:29.660 tell them you tell me if they're fun that one's not fun yeah and if it's not fun she's fired 0.96

01:06:33.680 just kidding your ass is on the line amanda it already is yeah she didn't get the outline 0.93

01:06:42.040 because i didn't get that outline girl outline okay says uh that darcy used to work for a new 0.99

01:06:48.340 york bus tour called the ride a 75 minute experience that was part nyc tour part comedy

01:06:54.000 theater you got it girl that's the most like improv loving person job it's so funny that you

01:07:00.260 say that because am i supposed to like chime in yes please because i my like a comedy partner of

01:07:07.760 mine yeah and i tim dunn and i we auditioned for this together you auditioned as like duos oh nice

01:07:13.460 and in the room we got it okay where they're like will you do it and we're like yeah we'll do it 0.53

01:07:17.740 and then we basically i was like because also not to like shit on the ride but it's not like i was

01:07:23.000 desperate to do it i wasn't like i gotta get this job yeah i'm gonna go like this again it was more 0.84

01:07:27.120 just like it i felt like i had a little power because i didn't care to if i got it or not so

01:07:32.840 basically in the room i was like we will do it if you let us like cast the entire thing with our

01:07:37.760 ucb improv friends you know clothes mouths don't get fed yeah and so they did so they just we hired

01:07:43.000 so many of our ucb friends that were all like struggling broke actors oh period and we and

01:07:48.640 and it was really fun and we got paid really well it was great until it wasn't and it was like a

01:07:54.360 whole like uh comedy show so you were giving like tours of new york it's this weird bus that if you

01:08:00.620 can picture this like okay if you're listening or watching okay if you're listening you usually

01:08:04.500 face forward on a bus yeah this is more like you're in movie theater seats the other way you're

01:08:09.300 looking out the windows oh interesting okay and it's like it's all glass gotcha does that make

01:08:14.420 sense yes yeah okay I know there's like an easier way to explain that but I'm imagining that like

01:08:18.580 New York City is the screen right and you're in the seats okay yeah so we're standing

01:08:23.280 unseat belted or whatever just like standing up on either side of the of the window and we're

01:08:30.280 playing these kind of characters kind of ourselves that are like taking you on a tour but we have

01:08:34.520 like a little bit of like a,

01:08:36.180 maybe there was like a little romantic storyline.

01:08:38.600 The craziest part of this ride,

01:08:41.940 of this tour bus,

01:08:44.700 is people on the street were also actors

01:08:48.040 that were mic'd and we would,

01:08:50.400 like for example, we would drive by like Carnegie Hall

01:08:54.740 and there'd be like somebody walking down the street

01:08:56.400 and we'd be like, well that looks like,

01:08:58.320 that guy's in a rush, excuse me, sir, sir.

01:09:02.020 And then he'd be like, yeah?

01:09:04.280 And the bus could hear him because he was mic'd.

01:09:06.320 And we'd be like, what's the rush, mister?

01:09:09.480 And he's like, I'm on my way to an audition.

01:09:11.480 And we're like, well, could you give us a little taste?

01:09:12.920 And then he'd be like, New York, New York.

01:09:16.560 This sounds like what I told you about High School Musical.

01:09:19.000 It's like there was a couple moments where it was truly unbearable.

01:09:21.820 Totally.

01:09:22.480 It was wild.

01:09:24.700 And the tourists ate it up.

01:09:28.180 They're like, who, me?

01:09:29.400 Yeah, exactly.

01:09:30.240 Who, me, mister?

01:09:32.020 why is everyone tiny tim that is so funny it was great it was great what a theater kids dream job

01:09:39.380 like while you're going to school yeah like what a dream but it's also one of those it's like one

01:09:43.240 of those acting jobs that is a little soul-sucking where you're like almost i'm almost doing it

01:09:49.560 right yeah i was like in the maybe like the new york post or something like in my little

01:09:55.920 in my little costume in front of the bus and i was like well that's certainly not the way i

01:10:00.440 thought i was gonna like be in the newspaper for the first time you know it's like a tour guide

01:10:05.460 but you know yeah that is fucking hilarious it's great that is and honestly that is one of those

01:10:11.820 gigs where you get them and you're like this is part of it exactly this is part of the grind yeah 0.50

01:10:15.340 it's like working at universal studios or one of those yeah yeah like or you're like i don't know

01:10:20.100 mickey mouse with like the hat on yeah like well i'm i'm performing right i am doing the thing i

01:10:24.900 said hat on mickey mouse with his little hat on i meant like the full head you know what's funny

01:10:30.040 is moana came out when i was a when i graduated from college or i was about to um and so when i

01:10:36.740 did graduate and i didn't have a job i was like well i guess i'll i could do character work so i

01:10:42.060 because i look like her low-key obviously so then i was like why not and i was like so i bought the

01:10:46.760 outfit and i bought the oar and everything i can't sing that's important information i can't sing so

01:10:52.020 that is you know one of her big things she's got a great voice yeah so when i when i did my like

01:10:56.600 pitches i was like i don't sing but i could teach i could teach like a hula or something yeah and 0.99

01:11:00.960 it was a bullshit ass hula but i'll do it yeah kids don't know they're dumb they don't know 0.99

01:11:04.660 and so i did i did probably two parties okay two yeah total right and i quit after the second one 0.99

01:11:11.820 because i could not believe how pervy dads were i could not believe and the way that my temper is

01:11:19.600 set up especially at the time when I was 21 there's no way I was gonna I was gonna literally 0.99

01:11:25.120 beat someone's dad's ass in front of kids and they'd watch Moana beat the shit out of their 0.99

01:11:29.960 dad which would have been probably good for them like good for everyone involved yeah everybody 1.00

01:11:34.480 would have benefited that's so funny so I did quit that after a while but in the beginning though I

01:11:39.360 thought I did think it was really cool how kids loved me and like they were so convinced it was

01:11:45.020 me like immediately so that was kind of fucking with I thought that was I thought that was beautiful 0.99

01:11:49.360 the dads were so pervy I was like I can't do this shit that is so of course I was like I can't do 0.99

01:11:54.200 this I'm not built for it of course not my thing yeah but I do have more fun facts okay this one 0.99

01:11:58.920 says you used to be Bill Hader's nanny yeah true his children yeah well that is interesting that

01:12:04.180 is interesting so that was like again this is you know New York struggling actor my sort of main you

01:12:11.340 know I had all the struggling actor jobs like waitress and temp and yeah then I started nannying

01:12:15.860 and i i just loved it and it was like it somebody recently said the word filled my cup and it keeps

01:12:22.460 i probably almost said it 10 times today it really filled my cup i love that though i think

01:12:29.740 she said it as a joke and i'm doing it like seriously but um it it i just loved it it was

01:12:34.900 like a great way for me to to to make money yeah and my move was like babysit for as many families

01:12:42.320 as possible if i babysit for like 15 families yeah and no one can count on me no one can like

01:12:47.140 rely you know like i'm not i'm nobody's like live in yes yeah and i'm nobody no i can always

01:12:53.000 audition i could always say no i could always bail last minute yeah and then i started babysitting

01:12:57.140 for bill and maggie his wife at the time and and there was just i just like fell in love with his

01:13:03.940 daughter his little baby his little baby we just clicked like soulmate baby in fact this is so long

01:13:11.380 ago so she's a teenager now we were texting yesterday oh my gosh that's crazy yeah um so

01:13:17.160 anyway that that was great and they really took great care of me and and that's crazy what a crazy

01:13:23.560 side gig I know girl just a fun fact about me now that fact is fun and he's been like yeah I mean

01:13:29.020 you know I got to be on his show Barry yeah which it's just like he really took care of me I really

01:13:33.780 am so grateful for him that's so amazing oh my gosh okay well now it says she met her now husband

01:13:40.100 jason when a mutual friend invited them both on a friend's trip to disneyland ding ding ding that's

01:13:45.040 so tea or you love disneyland i don't know how to explain i'm like i'm so not a disney adult

01:13:50.680 right but i'm like but i go every year i go like once you're a real chill fan yeah like i do love

01:13:57.200 it i love like i love going to my nieces yeah you know there's different levels i definitely enjoy

01:14:03.020 it but you know i'm not getting like an annual pass but by the way i would yeah but i but that

01:14:07.740 being said right i would i'm like save a little money go yeah if you go three times you're making

01:14:11.940 your money back i just enjoy it it's it's fun but i can i it's i i have definitely a i'm like i'm not

01:14:19.200 that i'm not that i'm this i feel you okay i feel you i i love i love disney uh but i feel the same

01:14:24.760 way i don't i don't have the spiritual connection to it that disney adults identify with which i

01:14:29.800 love for them true i'm not saying what could make like they are so happy right i agree and it's not

01:14:35.060 hurting anyone so it's like it's a big win-win for them yeah i really do love disney though i

01:14:39.580 just love the pageantry of it all i think it's so fun i get swept up in that feeling every time i go

01:14:43.760 and i grew up in the bay area but we would go to disneyland once a year um as a family so i

01:14:48.900 it's just like it's the same place i went to as a kid like it's so nostalgic it's amazing likewise

01:14:53.220 and i recently like since i started doing this was able to go to disney world oh that's like a

01:14:58.460 whole oh you gotta go to disney world okay it's really fun it is really overwhelming i will say

01:15:03.300 it's like planes trains and automobiles to get anywhere okay um but it is fun if you do it right

01:15:08.140 and you plan it right it's awesome yeah it's just the heat my legs and sort of uncrossing my legs

01:15:13.060 oh you do whatever you got to do okay this one says you used to work as a front desk receptionist

01:15:19.220 at a design store and one time conan o'brien came in and riffed with you yeah it was what the hell

01:15:25.000 damn hell where are you working that you're just running into this was like a this was in new york

01:15:31.100 on the Upper East Side I was a temp and I was front desk manager at like a design studio it 0.99

01:15:39.360 was like a designer like a okay and truly designer to the stars she did like like beep beep and beep

01:15:45.720 yeah I guess I can't say their names NDA I don't know yeah she did like Tom Hanks's house and

01:15:50.000 Spielberg and Conan's house and so um yeah so there was a meeting where he and his amazing

01:15:58.120 lovely wife Liza came in and that was in Conan is very formative for me he was like yeah when I was

01:16:04.660 you know a kid he was sort of I've told him this before and I'm sure a lot of people feel this way

01:16:09.620 which is like he was the first adult comedian as a kid where I was like you're for me like I love

01:16:17.160 all these other ones but those are for my parents or something but you are yeah you like speak my

01:16:20.760 language right you're teaching me a language that no totally and he's like an OG yeah like he's one

01:16:25.920 of one of the guys the guy comedy guys yeah anyway when he came in to the to the studio whatever it's

01:16:32.340 called i love that i can't remember um he just was very conan he was like i think he saw a like a

01:16:40.480 a comedy connection so we were just kind of like bantering and bidding and he was very funny and

01:16:46.200 very conan-y and he just sensed it about you he had the scent on you i probably was i probably

01:16:51.620 was pushing it yeah I'm being funny too your pheromones were giving improv and he knew exactly

01:16:56.560 he smelled it really like he went with it and he's one of the best he's one he's like you know

01:17:00.500 become it um become isn't it cool when you kind of like get to become friends with your heroes

01:17:05.960 hell yeah that is so cool and I I'm discovering that now like as I do this now and I venture into

01:17:11.340 it now what a thing um and it's even better when they when they rock like because it is a bummer 0.94

01:17:16.560 when you meet people and you're like damn that person sucks that's a bummer yeah but I I joked 0.72

01:17:20.300 about this with with lucy when she was on lucy lucy dacus obviously um we joked about this on 0.98

01:17:27.500 when she was on the show as well but i was telling her i really do have this running theory that in

01:17:31.420 this industry especially if you make it to like a certain level whatever that is to you and a lot

01:17:36.880 of people know you or they've heard you or they see you and stuff i really think you're either the

01:17:40.760 best person ever and so awesome you just so happen to be talented or you're the most evil person i've

01:17:48.420 ever met in my entire life and that's and that's how you made it because you just don't care about

01:17:52.140 anybody you might be on something past a certain point it's like only the best or the worst survive

01:17:57.800 i definitely have had everyone in the middle gets killed off yeah you got there somehow yeah

01:18:02.360 it wasn't by nothing no and it's like the people i meet who are just like so awesome like they

01:18:07.640 really are that awesome like just genuinely i totally agree and it's like when they're not

01:18:12.280 the bad ones are the worst people you've you've ever met like evil incarnate yeah like i think

01:18:18.440 to myself you're walking as like human embodied evil like i can't believe it yeah yeah and now

01:18:24.560 i know how you got here yeah exactly i was like maybe the illuminati is real totally and they're

01:18:28.540 using it funny i totally agree yeah i think i think you're right okay last fun fact uh it says

01:18:34.980 when you were about 12 years old you changed the spelling of your name of your name darcy to

01:18:41.640 Darcy with like an apostrophe because you were a huge fan of the bassist from Smashing Pumpkins

01:18:46.780 Darcy Retsky Brown yeah that's because quote she was her ideal person yeah she's like the coolest

01:18:52.860 person in the world yeah like when I was a kid I and the I mean just like I guess alternative

01:19:02.620 music grunge music like it was all men and I love them all I mean I like I like truly still do love 0.99

01:19:09.240 grunge music so much yeah and she was like other than like the breeders and a couple there was

01:19:14.220 very very very few females right and she was the only woman in an all-male band and I loved

01:19:19.520 Smashing Pumpkins and she just was fucking cool period that's it yeah and I was just like I want

01:19:25.840 that name so I was gonna ask about the apostrophe in your name yeah I didn't get a chance to it I

01:19:30.840 just put the apostrophe not that this is a it's not like I changed my name yeah meaning like to

01:19:35.340 it's the same name i just put an apostrophe in it but i'm but i but it's stuck like i i identify as

01:19:40.840 that's how i identify like i i guess that's fair we can do anything it is like that's one of those

01:19:47.540 things where it's like i forgot i have free will yeah i was like this is more me yes it really did

01:19:52.340 feel like that absolutely i love that i think that's beautiful my own a little hell yeah yeah

01:19:56.980 and i i'm someone with like a gender neutral name i guess you could call it so i get it like having

01:20:02.040 unique name right Darcy's already a very unique name but I think there was something I was like

01:20:06.180 I don't know this name Darcy I can barely say it and then there's something about putting me like

01:20:11.300 seeing her and being like this chick she just she was just the coolest yeah and I was like okay now

01:20:18.460 this is like an idol like I just was like I want to I want to that's amazing my parents were like

01:20:23.920 they're like okay yeah no for sure yeah love that for you yeah it's okay express yourself right

01:20:29.420 exactly yeah my my mom named me after drew barrymore which is not the first thing that

01:20:35.100 people think of if you can believe they're always like drew carrie i'm like why is that the first

01:20:38.780 one you think i mean no disrespect but i but why him i'm naming my daughter after drew barrymore

01:20:44.420 yeah like and when i got to meet drew barrymore i did tell her that um she was like obviously she

01:20:50.820 she was blown away and then she tongue kissed me yeah of course but of course she did she may have 1.00

01:20:56.720 obviously right after that she made out with you might be serious and then she crawled inside my

01:21:00.600 pants and we left together she is something else man she is I love her I love her she's just as

01:21:05.600 beautiful and um intimate as she seems I like was on her show and I didn't meet her backstage I just

01:21:14.040 met her on stage in front of the audience me too and I was like what's happening I truly was so

01:21:20.920 like enamored with her same that i stole the mug off i like stole the drew mug i kind of like left

01:21:27.040 with it behind my bag to be like back to just be like i need a piece of this whatever this

01:21:31.420 whatever this moment was that we just had i have to remember it for the rest of my life after we 0.83

01:21:36.080 finished mine because i didn't get the couch i got the desk because i'm i'm a dipshit online

01:21:39.960 so i was at the desk but when i did the desk bit with her like we did a whole thing

01:21:44.080 it was probably like eight minutes long and then it cut and they cut for like two minutes and she

01:21:49.720 was like you're incredible and I was like oh my god thank you so much Drew Barrymore that means a

01:21:53.740 lot to me and then she was like we should get dinner oh my god and I was literally like like

01:21:58.100 now yeah what are you busy and then she laughed I go Drew Barrymore you let me know like she was

01:22:02.960 like would you want to do dinner with me wow imagine I said no I know you're like maybe not

01:22:07.400 dinner I was like maybe a light lunch coffee maybe coffee yeah we'll start see if we vibe yeah yeah

01:22:12.740 yeah that's so cute would you want to get dinner yeah I was like yes I know it is funny that dynamic

01:22:19.020 where you're like balls in your court doll yeah yeah i know you're trying not to play it too heavy

01:22:24.120 but you're like i would love nothing more than to go to dinner with you yes yes i was like well you 0.74

01:22:28.600 tell me girl you have more white space than i do in my calendar so you let me know i'll run it by

01:22:33.020 my team yeah we'll see oh my god but she's incredible and as are you as are you i i think

01:22:38.700 you're incredible look at us yeah we're twins low-key i know really there's a lot of us are

01:22:42.960 very similar yeah i'm a little freaked out i am too down to like the making of the rings and no

01:22:48.520 i'm telling you the next time i see you i'm gonna have an apostrophe from d and the r it would

01:22:53.060 really it would work yeah yeah well thank you so much for coming on the show i think you're

01:22:58.420 i think you're incredible and i think you're so talented and amazing and i'd love to close

01:23:03.560 if you could share like your best piece of advice for aspiring actors and like anyone who's because

01:23:09.420 we talked a lot about the process and like how grueling it can be but how rewarding it can be

01:23:13.200 but do you have any advice for any aspiring actors or artists thank you for saying all that yeah i

01:23:18.180 think like the biggest thing is you really truly have to love it right and not like the outcome

01:23:27.820 not the like accolades or the fame or the power or whatever it's like you have to love the thing

01:23:34.280 the acting or the art yeah because there is other ways to get the other stuff right that's true

01:23:39.240 that's a great point yeah this is like it is so grueling and hard and it's so it beats you down

01:23:46.860 and that's part of the deal it's like don't feel alone in that because we're all everybody has the

01:23:53.780 rejection totally so but if you love it so much that it's like you can't live without it then

01:23:59.260 you know just know that you're like in the right place yeah and it's it is a journey and it is the

01:24:04.940 ups and downs never stop yeah but um the highs are like as high as they could be and it's like

01:24:10.820 a dream i think at that point especially living a dream it's living your dream yeah i appreciate

01:24:15.680 that too especially the note about like you could get any of that other stuff anywhere else because

01:24:20.220 it's true right and i think especially now with social media being so prevalent and especially

01:24:25.140 so integrated with this industry now too i think a lot of times people measure yeah like success

01:24:30.220 like they're like these people are moving faster than me just because you have visibility of them

01:24:33.520 but that's really the only difference between now and 20 years ago that is so true and that that is

01:24:38.220 like so much easier said than done but right but i i want to like to not compare yourself to other

01:24:44.800 people yeah and know that there's like enough space for everybody totally like that role her

01:24:50.940 getting that role doesn't actually affect you no and it doesn't take away from you and that's hard

01:24:55.420 to grasp but to remind yourself of that and really try to like subscribe to that yeah i guess like

01:25:02.720 well i'm sure subscribing to that kind of ideology too makes it more bearable yeah like going through

01:25:07.780 the trenches yeah but also to like what you said like kind of locking in with people who are in it

01:25:13.380 at the same time that's huge at the same phase yes yeah to be able to not feel so alone because

01:25:17.740 it can feel really lonely yeah totally the people that you in whatever way came up with or take

01:25:23.460 class with or yeah friends that are kind of doing the same thing maybe at different points in their

01:25:27.160 career whatever it is like being able to have some sort of community is like what what got me here

01:25:34.940 what gets me there like it's that's such a yeah that's so true and it's also too when you start

01:25:39.500 doing it for real which is awesome then it's like no one can relate to you outside of the people who

01:25:44.320 do it right like so when you're it's like those are your my friends have described as like we're

01:25:48.100 co-workers like by that measure even though we're all working on our own right like technically

01:25:52.180 those are our co-workers because we don't clock in anywhere that's right like so it's like i have

01:25:56.260 no one else to bounce this off of other than y'all well i'm glad to say i've added you now to my

01:26:00.620 friend list now you're on there too now i'm gonna bother you with my questions and then i'll try

01:26:05.680 probably try to grow a nepotism branch or something yeah from you we will work together

01:26:09.660 yeah we'll work on it i planted it with the rock i told them this is me growing a nepotism tree

01:26:13.400 obviously yeah now the branch is going to reach to you but it is exciting to think like we can

01:26:17.560 just work together someday yes yeah this life rocks oh me getting excited me too me getting 0.62

01:26:22.940 chills me too can't wait see on set bitch for real well thank you so much for coming on the show i 0.96

01:26:29.400 think you're a fucking hoot and you're a delight yay i can't wait to see you be in so many more 0.98

01:26:33.520 things and i can't wait for all of you to see darcy's new show do you want to plug it for us 0.99

01:26:39.240 five-star weekend it's on peacock yes july 9th it's probably after july 9th today yes yes it's

01:26:46.060 out go watch it yes and where can they find you um just my name on instagram on instagram

01:26:53.720 just that that's it nowhere else don't look anywhere else yeah perfect well thank you all

01:26:59.640 so much for tuning into this episode thank you so much to my amazing guest darcy carden don't

01:27:02.880 forget to check out her new show on peacock there we go i almost said i almost said pluto for some

01:27:08.620 reason that's not even a streaming app it might be it's by the time that's right by the time this

01:27:12.440 yeah who knows yeah well thank you all so much for tuning in don't forget new episodes of the

01:27:16.240 comment section drop every wednesday you can stream audio on all streaming platforms but the

01:27:19.440 video lives for free and exclusively on our favorite platform youtube thank you so much

01:27:24.480 to darcy carden thank you so much all of you and i'll see you next week bye

01:27:32.880 You

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - July 15, 2026

REJECTION IS MISDIRECTION Ft. D'arcy Carden ｜ Episode 230

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