SAUCE IS A REQUIREMENT Ft. Ira Madison III
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 6 minutes
Harmful content
Misogyny
31
sentences flagged
Toxicity
152
sentences flagged
Hate speech
77
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode of the comment section, we are joined by comedian, icon, and podcast host Ariana Madison. We discuss Ariana's recent trip to New York City, her love of Justin Bieber, and what it's like being a virgo in the big city.
Transcript
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i don't want to know your body count i want to know your sauce count okay i want to know
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your panera point count okay she's ordered 45 sauces now we're talking that's a bad bit
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hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me your
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favorite everybody knows me nobody cares about me we're still in the new york studio yay how
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exciting and today we have an icon a legend a hilarious amazing podcast host and comedian
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the one and only ira madison the third hi hi it's nice to be here i love this studio thank you i was
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telling you before i was like it's so cheap thank you i had um no hand or part in decorating it
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whatsoever i will say though another episode i taped the chairs were much smaller okay and i was
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like these chairs are fatphobic let's change that this chair is very comfortable like i want to
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steal it this is a nice yeah this is a nice chair i wish i could take credit for it but my amazing
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producers they're like i found some better chairs i'm like period switch them out i'll ask them
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about taking it on the subway okay so perfect i give you permission i give you permission you can
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steal it that's fine how are you i'm good i'm good yeah how are you thriving yeah it's hot
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you know but as hell yeah i just got back from la okay and i just came to new york look at us
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yeah twin flames yeah i guess you can tell where i was from my nails period the birthday show yeah
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the birthday same yeah okay iconic legendary yeah it was great i'm also a virgo so okay she's the
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only girl that matters i did actually the virgo screw shirt oh congratulations it was sold to be
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fair like to you um i was gifted the shirt okay that's great uh because i went with um
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beyonce's hair brand that she's coming out with okay um yeah i know she's still doing that yes
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okay uh it drops soon i assume okay i remember the rumblings about it yeah i know literally
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nothing else i know nothing else i've gotten many questions about like what's it called what
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is she coming out with i genuinely don't know they didn't tell me shit i mean look at my head
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very bald but it's beyonce so i'm like am i gonna buy some hair let's let us in fact i would
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i got more than enough hair and i would listen i i'm like whatever she does i'm cool with it
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she could tell me to eat my own fucking shoe and i would do it so she's the only virgo that
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truly matters yeah but as a virgo sister i feel like we're connected in some way no that's great
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Listen, I'm glad that you got gifted it, too, because I was in line.
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And I was waiting, and I was like, let me wait in the line still and see what's up.
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And then my friend came up, and he was like, girl, let me check and see if these are even here.
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But, you know, that was my third time seeing it.
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so my second time i went in amsterdam oh wow the juneteenth weekend oh damn okay fun and um
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how was the mute over there i heard europe wasn't very good well listen they're already pretty mute
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in amsterdam so really like no one was no one was like having fun i was like we were very hype on
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the floor but i feel like it was a lot of americans that i like i was running into people
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who were either visiting from New York or something.
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I ran into a friend who I didn't even know was going to be there.
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And I went over, actually, with a large group of people.
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I went into Club Renaissance for just a little bit.
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But when I went in there, I was like, we were having so much fun.
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Having a blast, shaking ass, dripping sweat.
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Well, like the celebs who are there, like the ones with the taste, they left the box that they were, like, you know, that elevated box.
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And, like, some of them came down, like, you know, like, Kylie was by us in Club Renaissance with her security guard.
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in the center because i was if you you know i was i was on the right at first yeah that's where um
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to see like the opening and then but then once she went in the cuff it we moved to the center
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and then like she's just right there and that's where she's right there yeah in front you're right
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because i saw people like on in videos and stuff i saw like oh i saw these people in club renaissance
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and i was like i was in there too i didn't see anybody right because like i was looking i had
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thought it was people at first but it was i saw i went back and looked at my video and i'm recording
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do that too though like I don't want to watch the
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people were like you got to get the experience like
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so I went I'm so glad I did I got like the craziest footage of her yeah I'm so glad I
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remember like when she came on my side and she was like right in front of me I was like so shocked
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yeah like with like tears in my eyes watching her and I was like holding my phone because I
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was trying to record but I literally wasn't recording the whole time and when I saw I wasn't
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I was like ah ah ah but I like started recording really fast because I was like I'm gonna miss it
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because I was watching it with my own eyes right that was me when um like halfway through the show
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because it was like you ran out of storage.
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to 2011. You're like delete, delete, delete, delete.
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You go in that little bar that tells you what's holding the most.
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10 more times i didn't give a fuck like yeah i saw her on saturday the saturday before and then i
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saw her on monday yeah and i was like it was like i was reliving it all over again like i've never
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seen it it was great the worst part is every concert in america it's always beginning in
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beginning out that ramp oh my god yeah that ramp was a nightmare yeah getting out is like truly
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it's like it's inching you're walking up and you're just like my shoes are off they had to be i took
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them off listen i took them off because i was in like a little chelsea boot i was like they can't
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do it anymore i ripped them off i ripped them off halfway through the show you have to yeah so if
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you're really getting down in there you have to you'll never make it also my asos pants the chrome
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pants i got ripped like right there in the cross so it was i was going through it you're going i was
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like i remember when i went to the first show i wore like a really cute little heel and i was like
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i'm for sure not wearing these into sofa like my feet are gonna hurt so bad yeah so i like took my
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pictures before and captured my content and then i was like okay outfit pictures done and i brought
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like a croc slide and i was like i'm just gonna fucking wear these like i just wore them right
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in there and as i was walking in i remembered i have white tennis shoes and i just didn't pick
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those i was like i'm gonna wear a croc i'm rocking a croc girl i don't care and then the second time
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i went um i was gonna wear the croc in again and then my sister was like dude like you're going
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like with a brand like they might take more pictures of you and the heel i wore that night
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was a lot lower a lot more comfy and it was like a thick block so you love that okay yeah so she's
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like i think you can last she's like but bring the shoes like so you could change after everything's
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done and the concert starts and i surely did perfect as soon as she the the lights went off
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i sat down took off my shoes put on my crock my dancing shoe and that's what i wore into club
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renaissance i just ran into a crock perfect have to you have to even some of the cons like a concert
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i went to before uh i brought like socks with me in case i wanted to like i didn't have an extra
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shoe it wouldn't fit in my purse i just bring a little pair of socks yeah at least i'm not walking
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barefoot yeah of course but at that point that's perfect is what it is i love how we could just
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talk about beyond the whole time i don't care i don't care it's all i've been doing every day
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me too every day every friend every party is just talking about it i'm like somebody asked
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me about it so i can talk about it yeah like at this point i'm doing pr for her and that's okay
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back to you okay i have been a huge fan of yours for a very long time thank you my sister and i
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are both really big fans oh thank you um ever since you were big on twitter girl i've loved
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you on twitter you were one of my favorite people to follow on twitter thank you now it's a dumpster
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fire twitter is sort of it's so rancid now x i don't care what it's called i'm calling it twitter
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because that's when i liked it was when it was but i also still can't get off me too that's so
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funny you say that because same i like i keep saying i'm gonna delete it and i will for it
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it's like yeah i feel that there's just so much information on there too and you're just shooting
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off something quick and then just moving on you know it's fun and nothing's replaced it yet
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that's true yeah that's true there's no real for me it's not happening
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i just like i think what i loved most about twitter is like it's just i could be my most
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like my meanest most vile self on there to like awful bigoted men and like i don't get in trouble
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yeah like i get in trouble on every other app but that one yeah i don't no one cares about
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twitter anymore no one's monitoring it literally no one's like what are you doing on there and
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So I think, like, that's what I loved most about it was that I could just be, like, absolutely fucking vile and insane on there and not get in trouble.
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Like, I told the guy that was, like, he made this horrible, horrible video about me just basically saying he didn't like me.
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And on there, I, like, tweeted a picture of him.
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And then I just basically made fun of what he looked like.
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I would have gotten flagged on many other platforms
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Not people making videos and then bringing them to Twitter
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Or sometimes they'll purposely antagonize me on TikTok
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because that's like obviously like my main platform yeah in the comment section exactly i get it
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you get it get it it all ties together i uh he'd like they'll antagonize me on there so then i
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would just go on twitter and i would talk shit on there because i don't want to give them attention
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on the platform they want it from because that's my biggest platform yeah i like just do it to like
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piss them off because i just spread it to another my poison to another one and then they have to go
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over there and find it yeah so it's like a little treasure hunt okay so you are a very successful
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writer too yeah i'm writing you are i'm writing yeah yeah and you're a very successful podcast
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host yes and how long have you been doing i like when you just throw successful in front of it you
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know we're working i'm telling you right now that every guess i have says that yeah and i mean that
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it when i say it i mean i'm on strike right now you know as a writer so my bills have been affected
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but you know there's been some success i mean in the past yes in the past what you're known for
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what your career is built off thank you is that like i feel like too with uh the people that i
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have on the show i like genuinely really really love and like they find them so incredible amazing
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and whatever capacity well i'm glad everyone else has said the same thing yeah they're all the same
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but that's trying to be relatable so we're working on that i'm feigning really
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i think that's uh another thing i love about every single guest i'm not kidding every single one i've
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had has always been like no i wouldn't say that which is a good thing that means yeah she's a
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humble queen yeah yes yes humble humble humble working on that too humble and relatable yeah
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but today we're talking about oh wait well first before i get into that you're also have an amazing
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podcast yes keep it keep it yeah and so how long have you been doing that i did that i started that
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in 2018 this is like year six oh love it's a long ass time well far before like podcasts really like
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took off yeah no i mean listen when we were when we first launched and we're like a pop culture
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podcast or like maybe npr had one they're like you know a couple others and it was really like
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the market was not saturated you know it was like we debuted at number one period and you know we're
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always on the top of the charts now it's like hovering like you know like 10 12 that's still
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really good yeah but it's like you know but that's just there's so many yeah everybody has one yeah
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is extremely it's like the new thing the new like uh oversaturated form of like media yeah it's like
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a live journal now you know everybody has it yeah everybody has one uh shockingly not everyone should
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have one oh of course not shockingly no no the fact that some like horrible men are just like
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people want to hear my thoughts they don't in fact actually no it's funny because if you think
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about it you're like do people really want to hear this i'm always shocked people want to hear
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my thoughts me too yeah but see like we actually have that yeah like that thought of like that's
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crazy you guys want to hear me talk for an hour and remember that i did this interview like the
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other week and this one was like just asking me questions about like things i had said and i was
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like i've done this for six years right i'm like i record something and then it is immediately out
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my brain so you bring up something like oh you said this on the show like you know in
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march like you know 2019 i'm like i did i you're like that doesn't sound like me
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i don't think that was me actually she has like recorded i feel that you know what's so funny is
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like i've only been doing this for a year now a year and a half going on two and uh i'm closing
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in on a hundred episodes okay yeah so i've been recording quite a bit but i that's a long time
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yeah i mean that's a lot yeah in a year that's a lot yeah yeah i bet six we're six years and
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we're only nearing episode 300 really yeah okay one a week period that's it
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that's it every tuesday morning and then that's it
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it's about the door and that's all you're getting for dinner yeah i think for me like even with um
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like obviously i record so often and uh i was like reading when my show used to exist on a
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different platform when there were comments they were like someone was like i loved you so much
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but like sometimes i feel like she repeats stories i'm like girl you try talking for almost 100
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episodes you're gonna start repeating yourself maybe i feel like so sometimes like me and my
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co-host louise vertel like we will we will be talking and it's so funny like i said don't
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remember things but it's sometimes we'll be talking and like like i feel like this week he was like
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like and i feel like i've told you this story before and i'm like or have i said this before
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and it's if you're a diehard fan who has listened to all 300 episodes of this show then i'm sorry
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but i guarantee the majority of people listening to this particular one do not remember or never
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heard that story in the first place so you're gonna get this story again yeah yeah you're gonna
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catch these jokes again i'm sorry where do you find the comment section the comment section yeah
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um to be the best because for me which is very crazy that it's um youtube for me because i feel
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like youtube you know used to be like bad yeah a nightmare really um yeah but when we upload our
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episodes to youtube like yeah the i feel like the people who watch them except for like very big
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ones like you know we just had a we just had a big one because we had you know like britney broski
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you know and that was like all her fans are watching right um but like our regular one is
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just like the regular fans who watch it every week yeah uh and they just like they love commenting
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because you're not going to sit there and watch
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Like it's like the way that they're so like in it with you.
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Like they feel like they're part of all your inside jokes.
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And like there's all these different things like that they can, these little isms that
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you say and then they start adopting them into their like vernacular.
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And they just love it so much and they love you so much.
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So yeah, I totally agree with that, especially with my other podcasts.
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I think for my own socials, it's probably Instagram.
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I did have a reel, though, do really well on there.
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And god damn, that shit turned into TikTok.
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It's, like, just every white guy on this face of the planet found this.
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And he was, like, has anyone tried calling this bitch fat?
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Like, it's just, like, every single one of them.
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gained consciousness and then saw me and then they're like i'm gonna write how fucking fat
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this bitch is and then they sent it to me love that for me uh so i would say like reels don't
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know about that but i would say for me personally probably instagram okay because tiktok's like my
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my biggest one but that's also my most like controversial ones yeah people get wild on
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tiktok and you're right as far as like the algorithm goes because obviously like on tiktok
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Yeah, that is my For You page right now, mostly.
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And then I get the occasional cooking or organizing.
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I do get cooking stuff because I do love a little cooking moment.
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they just are in everybody's for you page because i'm like i i didn't need to see your lacoste
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i was gonna say the white girls love to get ready with me yeah and listen which i'll watch it
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if it's cute i'll watch it i'm tuned in i am that's why i'm like even like those silent little
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like uh like spend the day with me things and they're not talking at all and then they do the
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products really loud in front of it you know what i'm saying exactly oh man those are all over my
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40 pages that's such a good point i have those i tried making a tiktok i've tried making some
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and i'm like this is not work it can be yeah i'm like stitching stuff together editing it
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music maybe you got to put a voiceover maybe you got to like write something i'm like i'd rather
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just not so congratulations to you to be fair like even with mine like even now like i do this
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for a fucking living like i'm like an internet clown for a living and i do tiktok obviously but
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when i film videos at different events like if i'm trying to like film content from whatever
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uh and i'm working with other like creators they're like oh yeah like do you want me to
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film your videos i'm like no it's okay because i like i'm like the only person on planet earth
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that films in the app every single other person films in the app yeah they film outside and then
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they stitch them together i never have done that i mean i've done it when i had to do like brand
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deals and stuff maybe that would be easier because i you know i try to record on a video
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yeah it gets a little complicated and like overwhelming because it's like am i on the
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job am i cutting a film like exactly exactly too much work i'm trying to win an oscar
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That's why I'm like, I have always filmed in the app.
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But like 90% of the time I'm filming in the app.
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And the way that other creators are like, really?
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and then I'd be like that seems funny and then I'd post it
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yeah when they gave me that three minute feature i said it's over for you now yeah
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i'm gonna be talking forever yeah i should do that okay because i'll sit and want something
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that's what i'm saying if they get your attention yeah i think so lots of jump cuts you know what
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i'm saying they love that okay just my two cents okay great i love this tutorial
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i know i feel like do you remember that video of addison ray she was like teaching the laker
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girls how to do it yeah they were like the silence was so loud that that's how it feels right yes
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okay so back to podcast yes today our topic with sir ira is being an extremely talented hilarious
00:24:46.940
successful and hot podcast host okay great love that which we both can relate to yeah i can fit
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that on a t-shirt exactly uh i it is something that is something across we bear yeah yeah
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personally basically how many like how so many misogynistic men have poisoned the world of
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podcasting which even you said when you started yours like it wasn't nearly as saturated as it
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is now i feel like that's one of those things where it's like the gift of access was it a good
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idea yeah sometimes i question it when i see those that have microphones and a platform
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i think to myself was that a good thing to give people the access the knowledge of how to like
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post content just handing them out yeah i mean microphones are everywhere right it's like truly
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just like a bald white dude is like i fucking hate fat women maybe i should buy a mic and record this
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thoughts and no one's there to object so he's like i'm gonna do it i think i could do really
0.98
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well i think i'd be really good at that yeah i feel like even when you started your podcast did
00:25:58.160
you notice that there like you said a lot of pop culture ones like sprouted after especially after
00:26:02.740
the pandemic i feel like but um did you notice that there were was there more niche podcasts or
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was there more because my understanding of podcasts prior to like you know starting my own
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or like being in the world of entertainment was like more so business like it was like business
00:26:18.640
advice life coaching like before obviously before yours yeah i mean i feel like you know there's a
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lot of like comedy ones and pop culture ones i feel like those pop up a lot now too you know it's
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you know if you're a comedian or something but when you started yours i feel like it was mostly
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just like yeah yeah that stuff yeah and so then like after you started yours obviously there was
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like a huge spike in it yeah and pioneer as i say you know listen you're all that's their words not
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mine have you noticed like a shift other than the like you know commonality of like there being
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hundreds now all over the world like have you noticed a really big change in the world like
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has there been some like adapting you've had to do or you kind of just like have been setting
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the course and that's why it's doing well i feel like we have changed nothing i feel like we just
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sort of do what we do we've done it for six years yeah yeah what works works yeah i love that well
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like you just filmed with britney right and you said there's like a huge uptick yeah have you
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guys seen stuff like that with like whether they're social media people yeah we've been i think
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mixing in like more social media people you know and it helps that like the strike has happened too
00:27:29.840
so you know people can't come on and promote but you know it's like the show was really big with
00:27:33.820
you know like you know like can we get this big celebrity guest yeah but then it's like oh well
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maybe we should also just get someone who is very good at social media like has a audience a
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following and like it's interesting to talk to too uh and that is also a different kind of guess
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you know yeah well you can um tell me how you feel but like this is how i feel like you know
00:27:54.020
when your show is like obviously you have two hosts right and then you have guests too like i
00:27:58.480
do that my other show too and like this show is obviously very guest driven uh for me and i feel
00:28:04.420
like do you feel picky with guests especially now we are we're picky we're picky with guests yeah
00:28:08.760
we're very picky but um yeah we just love different kinds of guests so i love that yeah i feel like
00:28:14.440
sometimes like even with me um i've made it very very clear like from the very beginning of this
00:28:20.420
show that i never wanted to have anyone that was like not aligned with me yeah anyone you don't
00:28:27.500
like yeah well that yeah but i just mean like someone who like wants to debate oh of course
00:28:33.020
because i'm like that's not what this is babe i don't like debating you know i was in debate in
00:28:37.140
high school and i quit so so i'm going back and forth is just too much what's your side i'm leo
00:28:44.260
that tracks that tracks leos don't put any their energy into anything that they are
00:28:53.640
disinterested or anything they drop it almost immediately they're like hey uh i kind of hate
00:28:58.260
this yeah and so you just leave you just walk out the door you're like yeah i'm done very i don't
00:29:02.980
want to be in a situation where i'm not enjoying myself even for an hour
00:29:06.240
i know i feel like when i've had that conversation because you know when i post my content you know
00:29:16.560
there's always men are like why don't you try inviting someone to debate and i'm like why
00:29:20.300
would i do that you want me to listen to you more yeah i don't want to do that i debate enough
00:29:26.300
that's too cruel with my demons i don't need you in there you know no way well i'm not going to
00:29:39.220
When Taylor drops a new album, I'm the only one who likes it.
00:29:59.080
Yeah, but it's always fun because we're going back and forth on a new album.
00:30:29.560
And I'm like, I said this on my other podcast with my sister, but I'm like, I think her and Beyonce are superstars in their own right.
00:30:36.320
I would never compare any human on this earth to Beyonce, ever.
00:30:48.100
You're like, what's it like to be so wrong all the time?
00:30:55.820
like you no human on this earth holds a candle to her and that's just the facts yeah but i think
00:31:01.800
that taylor is really great at what she does exactly she's good yeah in her i feel like
00:31:07.100
apples and oranges can't you can't compare we can't compare anyone to beyonce right on another
00:31:11.360
level the tropicana and there's mods there you go you know it's not one's not inherently better
00:31:16.920
than the other people just have different tastes i love some apple juice and i'll take both yeah
00:31:24.000
Listen, it's great for you when you're sick, too.
00:32:18.980
on planet fucking earth i don't know why well those concerts are packed so somebody does somebody
0.98
00:32:24.460
somebody's seeing him selling out of stadium yeah somebody's seeing him just him yeah a pair of
0.98
00:32:28.980
jeans and a dream yeah that's it that's all he's got i really do like him i think he had a quote
00:32:35.200
recently something about um doing the super bowl or something and i think he was like he'd do it
00:32:40.820
like if he was like paired with like some other people i think he's like i don't even know if
00:32:45.400
i'm like a super bowl before i know i remember i saw something about him where he said like
00:32:52.900
he was behind the scenes for so long like just writing for other people for so long because like
00:32:58.000
they said they could never market him but then he like didn't want to keep giving up songs that
00:33:02.820
he loved so he just started of course doing them on his own and i was like and you're so real for
00:33:06.720
that yeah and i ride for you and sharon yeah listen will i go to the tour who knows i will not
00:33:34.620
It was worth spending money on either or just sort of like, I don't know what I like if I would be like vibing with like the itchering fan.
00:33:45.000
Is it cultivated for someone who looks like me?
00:34:03.240
I've seen Ed Sheer live, but I was in a box.
0.99
00:34:12.520
okay perfect it was at staples and it was in a box of staples and that was great and that's fun
00:34:17.960
yeah you know you had you know you had yeah you had the free food the champagnes the platter of
00:34:22.660
the buffet that was that was great that was good as hell i love to see a shirt like that
00:34:31.180
honestly that's the only way i would see him yeah i'm sorry ed i forgot that i saw you i forgot that
00:34:38.880
i saw you that was the x tour too that was great that was that's a good album yeah that's a good
00:34:42.620
ass album yeah he's fun not not me like i felt like you know i would never deny denying ed sheeran
00:34:50.080
you're like i would never see him thrice sorry actually i did so so what you meant was i would
0.92
00:34:57.600
i don't know if i would see him again yeah honestly i had a good ass i would see him again
00:35:31.180
was so damn good really yeah because i took i took breaks um as long as hell it was it was
0.92
00:35:39.540
i felt i'm like am i old as fuck or what i'm tired i was like let me sit down me getting tired
0.72
00:35:46.020
and i'm not doing anything i'm just watching her and i'm not even really dancing i'm just singing
0.79
00:35:51.000
i know i was like but it was just exhausted i was like uh you know
00:35:54.880
that is so funny you say that because coachella uh-huh they have a pizza booth there yeah oh the
00:36:10.780
pizza is good at coachella girl i eat that the whole time i'm there i don't love it i don't try
00:36:16.220
shit else when everyone's like what do you want to eat i'm like you know what i want to eat the
0.53
00:36:19.160
pizza the pizza you want the pizza is that a serious question you're asking me it's so good
00:36:32.080
What's going on here? I'm not eating oysters in the desert.
00:36:50.700
spicy chicken I'm like I don't eat that in the desert too much yeah it's doing too much yeah
00:36:57.120
to be honest yeah that spicy pie though yeah I'll fuck it up every time I don't do I don't
00:37:02.500
do spice when there's just port-a-potties around you know I need to be at home you need to be in
00:37:06.800
the confines I need to be at home or I need to be in a restaurant um you can't handle spice I know
00:37:14.360
I can but you know it's just like just in case yeah it's just gotta have a safety net yeah yeah
00:37:20.720
Because you go to Coachella and you're there all day and all night.
1.00
00:37:30.560
When I went to Coachella this year, I got the pie, the spicy pie, every fucking time I ate.
0.99
00:37:43.240
And the second day I went, I went to the spicy pie booth again.
00:37:47.280
and then the girl was like you were here yesterday and i was like first of all
00:37:50.460
what did i ever do to you yeah second of all what's your problem there's a lot of people
00:37:54.740
why are you checking yeah first of all how'd you remember me why do you remember me you're a fan
00:37:59.220
you're a fan and are you because you're clocking me you're giving fan that's fan behavior
00:38:05.380
and not any fan i want you're clocking me and how many slices i get
00:38:09.960
and then i have to that with the free slice it's always let me take a picture and not
00:38:45.600
Yeah, it was raining when I was walking in.
0.99
00:38:48.040
I mean, not even knowing I haven't seen the daylight.
0.99
00:38:49.660
I really want, okay, like, I'm not doing, like, an ad.
00:38:52.980
But, so, I had COVID on my birthday last month.
00:38:59.260
And my friend went to this restaurant in the West Village.
00:39:05.400
And he got me this soup called, like, a riboletta soup.
00:39:11.360
And it's, like, all I, it was, like, a soup cleanse.
00:39:15.260
yeah and i loved it but like i went to the restaurant for like lunch on wednesday okay
00:39:22.100
and it was it was hot it was summery it was sweltering and i was like i want to try the
00:39:27.220
soup in the restaurant but the vibes were not giving like i couldn't have soup on like a 90
00:39:33.320
on a 98 degree day in new york like that's like nasty but if it's so raining if it's chilly like
00:39:45.560
I love that I'm looking forward to a soup.
1.00
00:39:55.360
That's like your treat, your reward for the day.
00:40:02.800
When you're saying that spice, you need a little safety in your home.
00:40:12.620
Are you lactose intolerant or dairy intolerant at all?
00:40:15.800
I don't really have allergies, but I feel like I should – I'm fine with, like, cheese and dairy because I'm from Wisconsin.
00:40:24.160
Sometimes I do feel like, you know, like – maybe I need to ease up on it because sometimes I feel like it does fuck with you.
0.99
00:40:34.440
I feel like sometimes I should do one of those, like, food sensitivity tests or something.
00:40:41.140
okay but i feel like i need like a real one yeah you want like not like an instagram real one
00:40:45.800
because they pop up actually just i brought this up now i'm probably gonna get one they target you
00:40:49.940
probably gonna get one probably what i leave here i'm like uh a lactose intolerance i've been
00:40:58.500
ignoring for a while or trying anyway um it's developed severely over the last like three
00:41:05.300
years but i was like i don't like that part about getting older i don't care about getting older
00:41:11.220
yeah you gotta take the pills though right lactate yeah which i don't do okay um we gotta do that if
00:41:17.020
you eat all the spicy pizza yeah well i like to shit my pants so that's different unrelated to
00:41:21.720
that um that's a different thing uh but i feel like even with my lactose intolerance like it
0.99
00:41:28.600
just like got worse as i got older i i like don't give a fuck about getting old at all i think it's
00:41:33.960
a privilege to grow old uh but i also don't like that part like you're just developing new things
0.59
00:41:40.360
that you can't eat have anymore you can't enjoy you're like oh if i do that then my stomach will
00:41:46.180
hurt and then i won't be able to get up tomorrow morning like planning for your meals around how
00:41:51.100
it's gonna make your stomach feel the next day i know it's something i did not think was gonna
00:41:55.540
happen when you got older listen that happened to me when like um so like i remember when chipotle
00:42:01.720
debuted because i'm old and it was when i was in college undergrad and it did like it was right
00:42:06.040
around on campus in chicago i was an undergrad in chicago and um i loved it i was having this bowl
00:42:12.920
every day and then for a while it started like affecting my stomach i was like whatever whatever
00:42:17.560
spice whatever is in this is not for me to be eating yes someone's warding me off but recently
00:42:25.160
i was like i was just really craving that chicken bowl that i love and i had it
0.98
00:42:34.580
Maybe it was like that period where I was having it, wasn't really rocking with it, but I had one.
00:42:44.920
Like you pick a meal and you're like, that's my meal.
00:42:47.940
And then you eat it for like a week straight and then you're like, oh my God, I never want to see that meal ever again.
00:42:55.560
I mean, listen, I saw y'all eating like your sweet grain earlier.
00:43:02.200
I used to have the chicken parm salad bowl for sweet green.
00:43:07.860
I had it for lunch like every day, almost for like a year.
00:43:30.500
Especially with Sweetgreen, I feel like they have such specific flavors in their stuff
00:43:44.060
Bitch, I'll door dash that thing to my front door.
1.00
00:43:46.780
I need to be walking to the Panera more because I still have my Panera card from when I worked
00:43:56.140
i have my panera card but you know you can't use your cards on door dash like gift cards or like
00:44:02.180
the rewards yes yeah panera points yeah yeah like type into the dasher can you give them
00:44:09.320
my phone number so i can get please use this number for my panera points on this half soup
00:44:16.400
sandwich do you actually write that in your door no i need to though
0.96
00:44:21.120
do you think that darsha's gonna be like oh go to hell i'm not fucking doing that they don't
0.98
00:44:26.840
yeah they don't care about me at all they don't read the instructions they want me dead read the
0.98
00:44:31.880
instructions i still since covid i've always had my um just leave at the door instruction me too
00:44:37.820
but they'll not and then i'm not gonna wait for you and i'm like i guess
00:44:42.720
do me a favor just once over the instructions yes most of the time it's like because like i've
00:44:49.960
just got in the shower or something and i'm like just leave it there so it's there when i come out
00:44:53.980
no one is going to steal my food i promise i promise not my bill and if they do that's on me
00:44:57.940
yeah i'll take that it's like it's okay it's okay yeah i'd rather you do that than the interaction
00:45:02.680
to be honest so i know you need to go like you need to like you know you have to deliver for
00:45:06.900
other people my sister lived in new york for a while uh for a little bit and she told me the
00:45:21.280
story about she like door dashed pizza to her place yeah and she said when she got it uh like
00:45:28.340
all of the cheese because she's vegan so it's like a vegan pizza she said all of the like cheese they
00:45:33.440
put on it literally all of it was off of the pizza completely because he had folded it in half
00:45:39.900
and shoved it in his backpack and rode his bike there and then dropped it off and she was like
0.99
00:45:45.500
what the fuck dude that's messy she's like just forget it when she's on pizza it's like you're
0.99
00:45:54.140
looking forward to it you have a really bad day and then you door dash a meal and you're like
1.00
00:45:57.840
i can't wait to get it and then they fuck it up and you're like or you fuck it up because i like
00:46:03.960
are you ordered no i maybe i had i was at a friend's house for like a party this is when
00:46:10.580
i was in la and i ordered a pizza i accidentally ordered it to my apartment and not my friend's
00:46:18.460
place and so i got an uber and i called the uber driver and i said here is the code to my building
00:46:29.420
walk in grab the pizza and then please deliver it to this place and he did it and i tipped him
00:46:38.500
okay yeah like 20 dollars yeah that was like an ingenious invention but i was like
00:46:42.860
please get this pizza from my it's an emergency i swear to god yeah if you don't bring it i don't
00:46:47.700
know what i'll do yeah i feel like there are certain places i don't order from anymore because
0.90
00:46:55.700
they never put my sauce in there and i swear to fucking god if i don't have the sauce i can't eat
0.92
00:47:00.040
it they like what happened what happened to utensils what happened to sauces what happened
0.95
00:47:07.300
to that bring them back yeah normalize putting sauce in the bag yes the way that i got del taco
00:47:14.060
because sometimes that's like when i especially when i got home from the beyonce concert i the
00:47:21.040
first one i ordered del taco it's the only thing that's open by the time i get home it's like four
00:47:24.300
in the morning yeah so like i get home i'm like oh my god i'm starving so i order that and i i
00:47:30.200
wait up for it because i'm so hungry and so i'm like sitting there like barely eyes open and then
00:47:36.160
they finally drop it off i go i open it no sauce no sauce what is the point they they do that for
00:47:43.080
like taco bell sometimes too and you know what that's what what that you know what you need to
00:47:46.680
do you need to buy the sauce and save it yeah or not even just buy it and save it you know like i
00:47:52.180
don't know if del taco has their own but like taco bell has like their own like sauce in the store
00:47:56.600
the bottle like just get like the ortega sauce too like but i have bought it it's in my apartment
00:48:02.880
now so i will have sauce you know which one i i refuse to order from anymore because they
00:48:09.560
never no matter how many times i'm like please make sure you ask for the sauce it's popeyes
0.98
00:48:14.740
they never put it in games i swear to god they play in my fucking face all the time they play
0.96
00:48:22.120
games they they trick me and they lie to me and i fall for it every time but that mardi gras mustard
0.99
00:48:27.160
it's like one of my favorite sauces of all time okay and they don't sell that anywhere else
0.97
00:48:32.260
otherwise i would buy it and put it in my house yeah but that one i'm like fuck popeyes i'm not
0.94
00:48:37.120
ordering from there because they always forget my sauce and what's the point of living you gotta
0.96
00:48:40.540
link up with somebody who works there and just be like just give me give me some packets
0.84
00:48:45.000
and also slip me the back also with all the dry shit they got going on there they're trying to
0.99
00:48:51.820
kill me yeah not giving me a sauce yeah they're trying to kill me also don't papa's knows who you
0.99
00:48:57.180
are just be like papa's get her some mardi gras mustard mardi gras mustard oh my god
0.99
00:49:03.280
Popeyes, if you're ever interested, please let me know.
0.57
00:49:08.340
Listen, one time I had the worst day ever, and I just really wanted Popeyes.
00:49:15.740
And then they brought it, and I was like, okay.
00:49:31.000
and i'm like okay can you give me my sauce he goes there's not no sauce in here it's just mine
0.93
00:49:36.000
well no they didn't give us any at all yeah and i was like are you fucking kidding me bro
0.83
00:49:40.740
just i cried myself to sleep i didn't even eat i don't get it because i was so upset i don't get
0.84
00:49:45.440
it it's it's like what are we doing here that was the day i vowed to never do that show them
00:49:51.400
ever again still love you though popeyes i still love you like they put like taco bell i'd had it
00:49:57.080
the other week or whatever i was high i got some taco bell and it was i love that and it was what
00:50:01.780
do you order from taco bell okay i get i always usually get two crunchy tacos oh love and i swap
00:50:06.780
out sometimes either a quesadilla or the um or like a burrito oh yeah love um but
00:50:14.760
taco bell has an option to put sauce packets like you can order that's how you do that yeah
00:50:30.060
You made me take an extra step to add extra sauce.
00:50:47.500
If I get like multiple things, I always put six.
00:50:58.540
I'm literally requiring you to send me the sauce every night.
00:51:03.180
I love when they just fucking raw dog a whole bunch of them,
0.99
00:51:11.200
I'd rather them do that than give me nothing at all.
00:51:21.040
they just don't get it they don't get how hard it is yeah they know and it's expensive
00:51:27.100
it is so expensive i'm spending extra money to bring it to my door i know please i'm gonna
00:51:32.840
start walking the panera walking i've realized that gotta rack up those points girl yeah you
00:51:38.480
get like a birthday treat too did you get your birthday treat oh no see i need to do that yeah
00:51:42.680
you get like a i think it's like a birthday pastry or cookie i'm in new york i need to start
00:51:46.340
walk through some places let me tell you my laziest thing yeah please when i do when i've
00:51:52.200
door-dashed like a starbucks in the morning because i've done that i like the ice shaken
00:51:58.740
espresso oh that's what i drink with like oat milk ice shaken espresso love there is a starbucks
00:52:05.340
a block from me but you know what it is it is the starbucks reserve like the fancy one where it's
00:52:13.060
like you know they got affogados and they got you know like their little like deli in there with
00:52:18.240
like sandwiches where it's like um feta pumpernickel and tomato i don't want to eat that so um the
00:52:26.840
regular stuff anyway i remember going in i was like oh it's a block away from me like when i
00:52:30.980
first moved in and they were like oh we actually don't have that drink here like we do things like
00:52:37.140
a little differently and i was like well i've never come back in here it's starbucks well you
00:52:42.840
just lost yourself a customer yeah it's not it's not about that's that's not what i that's not
0.98
00:52:47.600
well if you want the Starbucks menu if you want a fancy shit you'll just go somewhere else there's
0.97
00:52:52.000
thousands of coffee shops here in New York I know with fancy shit so they actually did open up a
0.98
00:52:58.560
very new like um it's called like this I'm not gonna give the name of it I don't even know where
0.82
00:53:03.860
I live but um they opened up a very chic like new uh coffee shop okay do it across the street from
00:53:11.160
me right now too so i go to that for like some espresso if you're feeling fancy yeah okay but
00:53:16.800
sometimes you just want a standard yeah yeah sometimes you just want to hold that cup
00:53:20.700
shake it you want that green straw yeah yeah i feel it you're like you want that little sippy
00:53:26.960
cup top exactly i feel that sometimes it's just the vibes yeah those are the vibes yeah
00:53:31.940
Okay, back to being extremely talented, hilarious, successful, and hot podcast hosts.
00:53:44.600
Which technically we've been showcasing that because we've just been talking.
00:53:49.220
Okay, so we're going to read some descriptions of some of these videos that I was tagged in in the comment section.
00:53:56.420
So this first one says, the men hosting this podcast say body count does matter.
00:54:03.060
And ask one of the women who is guest co-hosting, what's your body count?
00:54:08.220
And she says, well, I'm going to be shamed for this.
00:54:15.260
And so the comments are very, very, very unhappy about that.
00:54:24.900
45 body count sounds like a serial killer it does the way that they talk about it sounds like
00:54:33.220
they're killing people i know the phrase i was like we're jeffrey dom right here
00:54:36.660
the way that they like the way they demonize it is like you're killing people yeah but it's just
00:54:44.560
like these are straight conversations i don't partake in them i'm forced to bear witness to
00:54:52.320
they get dropped on my doorstep like a dead bird
00:55:25.620
Just talk about, like, what women bring to the table.
1.00
00:55:34.080
He's like, bitch, this is about Taylor Swift.
1.00
00:55:43.000
This one says, almost had a heart attack hearing that number.
00:55:50.780
yeah almost doesn't count brandy said so i dare you yeah you won't like you think straight guys
00:55:59.440
say to each other this next one says nobody wants a ran through partner not anyone with self-respect
00:56:07.040
when they're ran through ugh i'm run through so
00:56:14.660
that's why i'm single there you go all the answers that explains it maybe you should tune in
00:56:23.140
there are all the answers and this last one says i'm never getting in another
00:56:30.020
committed relationship again i don't think that's your choice to be honest yeah i think that's an
00:56:35.640
involuntary choice it's like quitting before you get fired yeah you know it's like when men see
00:56:40.520
like really really hot famous women like zendaya and then they're like she's real mid yeah that's
00:56:49.900
like yeah that's why you won't date her yeah sure yes i believe you that's why you won't ever date
00:56:59.720
of course yeah it's because you don't want to no for sure i believe you i feel like um
00:57:07.980
when men um congregate like this and their little like hidey holes like rats yeah whack-a-mole
0.96
00:57:16.060
yeah truly i feel like it's just like a never-ending like circle jerk of like
0.88
00:57:20.760
they're just validating each other's like bigoted thoughts and feelings yeah and they're it's just
00:57:27.220
like one big echo chamber and like nothing's ever it's like birds you know feeding their young like
00:57:32.640
because they like chew it up for something they spit it into the baby's mouth yeah i just feel
00:57:39.200
like nothing ever gets accomplished like you're just shouting at each other around a table in a
0.99
00:57:46.940
fucking bubble and like what happens after that yeah nothing yeah when i do it it's world peace
0.99
00:57:53.800
that's that's what i reach when i do it i contribute to the ether in some very very
0.99
00:57:57.960
monumental way it's like planet tears you know we are yes stopping pollution no truly like
00:58:03.300
stopping littering she's just all over cleaning the air saving the turtles yeah exactly i'm giving
00:58:10.440
back yeah and heart the one with the bad um power from planet tears like well making people feel
00:58:17.200
good yeah heart listen yeah i think i was talking about um how unbelievable it is that a lot of
1.00
00:58:25.760
fast food places don't give us sauce is far more helpful and entertaining and listening to a bitch
1.00
00:58:32.400
talk about why he's like involuntarily celibate like okay you know what i'm saying i don't want
1.00
00:58:37.160
to know your body count i want to know your sauce count okay i want to know your panera point count
1.00
00:58:42.660
okay she's ordered 45 sauces now we're talking that's a bad bitch
0.99
00:58:47.700
now we're talking all right now that's a podcast i'm gonna tune into girl like you telling me that
1.00
00:58:56.240
you guys argue every time taylor swift drops a new album that's far and away much more entertaining
00:59:01.660
to me and funny and hilarious and like warm and awesome than listening to men be like
00:59:07.960
well you wouldn't buy a car with a million miles on it i'm like well you don't even own a car so
00:59:12.460
i don't think you have bigger problems like i live in new york i don't need a car
00:59:16.660
so mom pays your phone bill like maybe worry about that yeah i don't know boost mobile
00:59:22.840
i'm like you sell knives door to door like you've got bigger issues
00:59:29.520
bigger problems i'm gonna start asking people their sauce count now that's fine what's your
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sauce yeah what do you say when you get that little option and you have that little that
00:59:39.260
number ticker what's your sauce count what are you turning up to yeah interesting we're six
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six six we're six when people say two i'm like you're out of your fucking mind yeah would you
0.99
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get half a taco yeah please come on that's child's play to me you gotta smother that i'm telling you
0.98
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soak it yeah i need and i need backups in case one of them one of them squirts out too fast and
01:00:00.620
they go in the paper yeah exactly i'll still use it that's happened and it has it does and it's
01:00:05.240
devastating if it's your last one yeah but then you just you just bad hand sauce coordination
01:00:10.000
yeah that's like when you're like you're you're eating so desperately that you're like
0.99
01:00:15.600
like just opening it starving yeah i know you're like fuck you wasted one so i'll just like you
0.96
01:00:24.280
just drag it around the paper pick it up i'll still use it it's not nearly as efficient exactly
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01:00:30.980
to wrap up what would you say is your best piece of advice for aspiring very sexy hot cool
01:00:47.460
intelligent amazing so incredibly popular and contributing podcast house people who want to
01:00:53.420
be a podcast host you know be yourself i'm kidding i don't know i mean maybe that is true
01:01:01.060
you know to an extent yeah i mean listen because you know of six years in the comment section yeah
01:01:06.700
you know there's been people you know yeah who didn't like me but the people who do stay with
01:01:11.820
you period you know yeah and the people who don't like you i guess are still listening because they
01:01:16.500
find a way to comment how they don't they're still driving up engagement so yeah do you ever
01:01:20.860
have any repeat haters like ones you recognize back in the day or even now maybe but they're
01:01:26.880
sort of blocked but also like your brain just seems to expel information as soon as it's
01:01:32.340
it really does okay my you know what's so funny is my podcast is this
01:01:37.560
my boyfriend's the same way like the way that he has zero memory of literally anything from like
01:01:54.760
the only thing I remember is that I want some soup
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something and he's like that's not important I'm not
01:02:18.760
storing that so yeah that's not important i will not hold on to that yeah and then they meet him
01:02:23.660
next time he's like nice to meet you and they're like we've met but okay yeah well i think that
01:02:28.440
was standard quality advice thank you but most importantly know what your sauce count is yes and
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what your sauce count is that's very important and also buy the sauces if you can buy the sauce
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at the store yeah i have backup sauces but they're just not the same yeah well they're not the same
01:02:44.940
brand i know you know like listen like i have a bunch of hot sauces in a pinch i put some like
01:02:50.460
chalula or a taco taco and i'm like it's not the same it's not the same thing you gotta get
01:02:56.400
tapatio yeah tapatio is a little spicier so it's nicer or a valentina that's a little
01:03:01.920
i do love a valentina love that one okay you got it yeah tips it was just about sauce yeah
01:03:08.580
thank you so much for coming on the show thank you for having me you're amazing
01:03:15.160
so funny i love that we could talk just about literally anything for an hour yeah that's my
01:03:19.720
favorite kinds of episodes listen i love coming to brooklyn it's cute the bk
01:03:23.700
me not knowing literally anything about new york my friend has to be racing i'm like i don't
0.76
01:03:29.860
fucking know midtown i don't know i was like girl the street says 44 she was like i put 44
0.82
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You know, it's on wherever you get your podcasts,
01:04:05.860
amazing yeah run those numbers up as they should i'm gonna talk about sauce soon on it listen
01:04:11.780
probably i'm telling you it'll help a lot i'm gonna write about that soup yes i'll probably
01:04:17.640
write a full essay about that soup i'm in love with it like you're gonna drive that business
01:04:22.220
i need someone how to make it yeah yeah you should yeah i'm paying their bills i'm paying
01:04:25.600
beyonce's bills and i'm paying bartusi's bills you're like plankton's still a formula girl
01:05:00.840
make sure and watch your show on youtube yes watch keep it on youtube too which is great yeah
01:05:05.480
we film it every week so that's fun too yeah so make sure y'all watch it on youtube ira's
01:05:11.040
podcast we co-host called keep it and make sure all of you subscribe to the newsletter make sure
01:05:16.520
you follow him on everything oh love that's so cute very frank got it yeah honey i love that
01:05:27.700
thank you again for coming on the show thank you for having me you're amazing thank you all for
01:05:31.440
tuning in to this week's episode of the comment section don't forget every new episodes drop
01:05:35.800
every wednesday and the video is free to watch on spotify but you can also stream the audio
01:05:40.540
anywhere you get your podcast but thank you all so much for joining thank you to ira my amazing