The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

00:00:00.000 some white kid called me a racist right and then someone said why why would you say that

00:00:04.940 and he goes towards australian men not a race babe cut the camera

00:00:09.800 that's not a race babe oh you know what they are a virus they're not a race they're a virus

00:00:18.260 hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me your

00:00:28.220 favorite girl and i have bangs again and everybody better compliment my bangs i swear to god if i

00:00:33.640 don't see one compliment about my bangs anyways today we have a very very very special guest

00:00:38.960 truly like one of the loves of my life serious beside it's beside right they see they see i love

00:00:45.720 that i should have asked before okay serious they see perfect hi i'm so i literally been counting

00:00:54.620 down the days and i know y'all have been too so we're finally here i literally i've told you so

00:00:59.660 many times oh yeah i was like i can't wait to have you on my show we talk all the time because we're

00:01:03.320 in real life friends literally rant but also like ranting on the daily oh my god i feel like this is

00:01:08.680 just a manifestation of that yeah for us together every single time i have something i'm like you

00:01:13.760 know who i'm gonna text spill the tea as soon as you got here i was like i remember i told you i was

00:01:17.720 like oh yeah and we did and we did we'll save you some but like yeah well serious is a i would say a

00:01:23.380 beauty content creator i love that for me yeah i love that definitely so you're like a beauty

00:01:28.200 content creator influencer content creator influencer gemini i love i know that that's we have thoughts

00:01:36.420 but like gemini yeah no but i just i create a lot of content on the internet that surfaces like social

00:01:42.740 issues that integrates with like beauty wellness fashion and then i also rant on my platform and i

00:01:47.800 show my dad yeah everybody knows about yeah i was gonna say yeah baba is yeah was supposed to

00:01:52.880 actually be here not me but like i decided to sip in i couldn't get him so i was like all right

00:01:57.520 booked he's literally booked anyway so i'm so excited to be here i'm so happy to have you like

00:02:03.360 truly groundbreaking thank you not to make out with you metaphorically i know you are like

00:02:08.220 groundbreaking and i'm so honored to have you listen the feeling is so mutual i can't wait to

00:02:12.080 get into it right so today we're gonna talk about for our topic today we're going to go over gender

00:02:17.660 roles which we have very strong thoughts on the two of us obviously i'm a cis straight woman

00:02:23.320 right and you're non-binary i'm non-binary so i for those of you who might not be as familiar

00:02:30.100 non-binary just essentially means that i don't identify within a certain like binary of gender so

00:02:36.640 i'm sort of gender fluid yeah i use they and he pronouns though um but yeah i think for me it's

00:02:42.600 really interesting thinking about gender because i feel like i have all the experience i was gonna

00:02:47.400 say i literally i handpicked the topics for those of you who don't know i handpicked the topics for

00:02:52.180 all my guests as well as my guests i invite them but i picked gender roles for us because it's like

00:02:57.520 the perfect topic to discuss with you literally because you're someone who operates in between

00:03:02.200 yeah i operate exactly i operate in between i feel like part of it is also figuring out like

00:03:08.640 especially on tiktok and i know you know this is like how targeted content is towards like men and

00:03:14.840 women versus like within the spectrum yeah so i think that's also very interesting yeah no one hates

00:03:20.800 talking about that more than straight women and we know a good amount about that right oh blows their

00:03:28.320 mind and that's the the craziest thing to me i always tell drew like the number the number one source

00:03:33.860 of like all of the epitome catastrophe that i receive in my comment section my own personal

00:03:38.740 comment section yeah comes from cis straight men same but a lot of the time it's also like i always

00:03:43.500 say it this way if you're coming onto my platform you better be telling me something i don't know

00:03:47.580 like if you're like true that's the thing i'm always like did i know this they're like oh like

00:03:53.500 you don't have a i'm like no exactly like what are you saying you know what i mean like i feel

00:03:57.740 part of it is just you're telling me yeah so i'm like if you don't have something that i don't

00:04:02.240 know about yeah i'm good love like you don't especially if it's hate like i'm just like we

00:04:06.200 don't need to come here no we're good you know we have that in common we be posting hate comments

00:04:11.460 handles and everything do you ever have people go i can't believe you don't block out handles

00:04:15.360 all i'm like this is so fun for me are you kidding i'm like literally you're boosting my engagement

00:04:19.800 truly but i think we've talked about this too in many ways i think it depends on the tiktok

00:04:24.420 algorithm sometimes if i say things and i call people out yeah the app doesn't love it and like

00:04:30.300 might take it down which is t i get that like that's fair but then i think part of it too is

00:04:34.480 i grew up in a world where a lot of people specifically like cis straight men just

00:04:39.100 got away with whatever and you say this a lot too yeah got away with literally saying whatever

00:04:43.340 they wanted to say and i'm just like you know what i'm actually gonna hold you accountable yeah

00:04:47.880 let's see how you like it do you want it you want attention here we go and they short circuit

00:04:51.680 they don't know what to know they're like line but you say this too they think they're gonna it's

00:04:58.140 gonna like boost their own page i'm like i don't get that at all it's gonna tank your views you want

00:05:03.400 to talk algorithm babes let's yeah and i said if that's the case why is every single dude i've ever

00:05:08.220 stitched not charlie d'amelio 100 right i'm so sorry show me your analytics i said one of us

00:05:14.240 one of us goes viral and it's not you babe and i told you this too i told you this from the start

00:05:19.180 if they were smart they would just stop commenting but they love paying your rent yeah they literally

00:05:25.080 they love paying and they love like getting us more visibility and getting us partnerships i'm

00:05:29.740 like keep it up i don't get it no because you say you're smart i literally described it as like it's

00:05:34.440 the the simplest puzzle and they'll never put it together no so one time i did a brand deal for

00:05:40.520 the best way to put it oh my gosh cervical health awareness yeah i was telling i was telling all my

00:05:46.620 uterus having friends to go get their paps that's what i was telling people tell me why i had

00:05:51.840 thousands of dudes stitching that video being like you you you know what you're a fat bitch and

00:05:57.380 you can't you can't lift and you're not strong oh my i said this is the one you wanted to go just

00:06:02.540 one more down all the videos you could have picked this is the one oh because it's literally just a cry

00:06:08.600 for attention all the time and i said you know i get paid better when they do better yeah that's what

00:06:16.460 i'm saying if they were smart they'd understand or pretend they like me yeah sometimes do you ever

00:06:20.720 have people comment stuff this has happened who follow you and then say yeah i'm like or they're

00:06:25.760 like they have some sort of following and you're like did you mean to write this from a burner oh

00:06:29.980 yeah oh yeah i know i see that happen and i always say this too growing up a lot of so i went to like

00:06:36.240 a boarding school which is very off-brand for me but like i kind of loved it i like wore the uniform

00:06:40.400 was it all boys or was it all it was all yeah it was no it was mixed it was like everyone

00:06:45.100 i wore like the collared shirt like the corduroy oh completely it was very boarding school very like

00:06:52.300 i wanted to make it like jamae private school girl it was not like that for me it's not my truth but

00:06:57.140 it was interesting because all of the guys that i went to school with yeah who were like rude and

00:07:03.540 like homophobic were so nice to me because i was like your girlfriends are my best friends so like

00:07:10.000 let's you know be very careful about exactly and i feel like sometimes i don't know if you

00:07:14.940 experience this but i get that energy on tiktok too i'm like your girlfriends are following me

00:07:18.740 oh all the time like i'm their internet bff like what are you doing i say that i say to them all

00:07:24.340 the time i'm like the girl of your dreams that is she's in my dm but she looks as i say if you're

00:07:31.880 smart pretend you like me or keep your mouth shut yeah yeah i said keep it shut otherwise if the

00:07:38.520 girls find out they're gonna turn on you i know i know the tides will turn yeah but they'll never

00:07:44.160 learn they'll never learn and that's okay with me yeah i'm super cool with that oh absolutely but

00:07:47.480 when it comes to i forgot to mention this when it comes to gender roles uh for me personally like

00:07:52.480 i'm someone so like yeah a lot of polynesian culture is very matriarchal so we hold women in

00:07:57.480 very high regard yeah i'm thinking about my own culture yeah no good so we hold women in very high

00:08:02.460 regard and like in someone culture uh the men do all the cooking and cleaning women take care of

00:08:08.320 children and elderly that's typically how gender roles work in someone culture but men do all the

00:08:12.940 cooking and cleaning so like that's how it was when i was growing up it's very normal to me not that my

00:08:18.120 mom didn't cook and clean but like my dad prefers to cook and clean like he enjoys doing it my boyfriend

00:08:22.780 enjoys doing it so i i'll do it too like don't sit there like i don't contribute right so i'm like

00:08:29.640 hello look at me i'm also a good time i am dating a um very sweet white italian man yeah and uh i'm not

00:08:38.160 experiencing no i love him but like it's so interesting because growing up so persian like

00:08:42.600 first generation same thing very matriarchal my dad cleans like he's the one who always like does

00:08:48.240 the dishes my mom will cook she loves it but then he cleans he does a lot of like sort of those sorts

00:08:53.480 was perceived to be a feminine yeah and i'm just like i think it's interesting to like my my dad in

00:08:59.740 many ways is very masculine and has sort of those some traits of toxic masculinism we're working on

00:09:06.740 it y'all we are unpacking it together and that's the that's the beautiful thing yeah learning it

00:09:11.220 together but i think in terms of the gender roles growing up like i also associated so similarly with

00:09:17.580 my mom in so many ways but then also like i'm a neat freak so my dad is too and like i've picked

00:09:23.480 up on some of those things but then knowing that i grew up in a space that was like a bunch of other

00:09:27.960 americans like we just lived very different lives like i'd literally go to their houses this is

00:09:31.760 something i don't know if you experience this when an older person who is persian walks into the room

00:09:35.120 you stand up like it is just a very like cultural thing yeah so meanwhile i'm going to like my

00:09:40.740 friends american houses like bob and sally and like their grandpas come i'm like standing up

00:09:45.600 like what are you doing i'm like oh my god sorry i was like we have something similar those sorts of

00:09:50.680 roles like in my mind were in grade when i was super young yeah same i have i mean for us for

00:09:56.000 someone people whenever we go into a room we greet everybody so we we kiss everybody on the cheek

00:10:00.520 and give everybody hugs so we do that to every if there's 50 people in the room you're going around

00:10:05.720 every doesn't matter how long it takes you do all of that before you sit down exactly same thing with

00:10:10.340 eating like we serve elderly before we eat whether it's a man or a woman it doesn't matter

00:10:15.580 children younger people they they serve first so they don't eat so that's why i'd wait to eat all

00:10:20.820 the time at my friends houses oh yeah i'd wait to eat i try to go say hi to them sometimes they get

00:10:25.720 weird about hugs i'm like oh this is before covid but sometimes they get weird about hugs i'm like oh

00:10:29.840 sorry so like this is just like how i do it so yeah yeah it's just different it's just different and

00:10:34.460 then also like my with speaking of gender roles whenever we're like at the table too my dad is a foodie

00:10:41.660 to say the least so like when he goes for the food first the look my mom gives him is straight up

00:10:47.080 like exercise like she is like grab it see what happens before like guests or other older people

00:10:54.100 are there especially when you have like older women or you have like matriarchs who are there

00:10:57.960 it is so funny oh my god yeah which is like that's like sorry i blacked out look yeah for the eighth time

00:11:03.880 yeah i'm so excited to eat i blacked out i eat in a rage that's honestly i relate to you i know i

00:11:09.360 get i do the same thing patient with him you know what i mean okay so for those of you who are

00:11:14.080 unfamiliar what we like to do on this show is we bring videos that i was tagged in and we bring them

00:11:18.240 here and we deconstruct them and we just eat them up eat them alive speaking of being a foodie

00:11:23.640 i'm ready i'm hungry too yeah starving breakfast there we go i love that okay so for this first video

00:11:30.740 we're going to i always like to give little summaries of the video so in this video it's

00:11:35.680 basically an appreciation video like a boyfriend posted an appreciation video for his girlfriend

00:11:41.580 right and so off top like appearance wise um the boyfriend is more feminine okay and the girlfriend

00:11:49.420 is more masculine whatever that means that's just how people interpreted it yeah but the comments were

00:11:56.420 so vile as they are always um especially on tiktok like i feel like uh the comments on every platform

00:12:03.740 varies like the terrible is very different whereas like i've talked about it once with someone like

00:12:08.760 instagram they can write you a novel if they wanted they could write you a five paragraph essay

00:12:13.040 yeah i really wanted to never gonna end no and on tiktok they'll they'll say the most biting thing

00:12:17.720 because there's limited characters so they'll just say the worst thing they could possibly think of

00:12:21.060 but then the funniest thing is when they then create a chain of their own comments and i'm like

00:12:25.180 they're like you're literally talking to yourself and that's fine no judgment but you're literally

00:12:31.700 talking to yourself yeah like who is this for babe no it's i and i don't understand especially with

00:12:35.440 those like i'm excited to unpack this because for me it's like if it also hits the wrong side of

00:12:40.600 tiktok yeah that's when it which happens terribly and it's so unfortunate too because the video is

00:12:46.500 purely just like out of love and appreciation it wasn't meant for it's not a think piece it's not it's

00:12:52.400 not a discussion on everyone has to consume it yeah yeah you don't have to yeah analyze it like

00:12:57.820 okay professor relax right it's not a study on gender and sexuality the funny thing is

00:13:02.680 none of those people who write hateful shit understand gender sexuality in a nuanced way

00:13:07.400 whatsoever in any way and the funny thing too is that like i say this to myself so i studied

00:13:11.520 sociology in college and it was like my concentration oh my god yeah okay yeah so we like i truly have

00:13:17.100 somewhat of a background like i did my thesis in this i studied post-grad like i think it's really

00:13:22.220 interesting now that the conversations around like for example with pronouns like everybody's

00:13:25.680 like oh like all we talk about i'm like but no one really knows what's going on and it's also like

00:13:30.140 not that big of a deal like we can be always had but it becomes that weaponized tool yeah that

00:13:36.400 especially like straight cis guys can use to like try and like provoke or trigger yeah to be funny

00:13:41.380 and i'm like have you seen that video of that dude where he's going um trying to tell a joke in 2022

00:13:46.180 oh my god yeah yeah he's like a guy walks into our bar and they're like so it's gendered i'm all

00:13:50.480 who says that and where's the joke i'm like where i didn't see it and i have a good sense of humor so

00:13:56.240 do you want to explain no jet jet like to think i'm pretty funny yeah i'd like to think i'm a comedy

00:14:00.640 constable if you will all the time i think so always yeah they don't go over my head but i also think

00:14:05.420 part of it is there is something really interesting about like seeing a comment knowing that it was

00:14:12.360 meant to provoke you and then being like you know what i have the time today yeah and i'm not and this

00:14:18.280 is coming from a different place of like i'm truly going to like take apart this comment and

00:14:22.440 eviscerate it because again it goes back to the point where we were talking about it's like

00:14:26.120 a lot of people don't think that there's accountability for what they're saying especially

00:14:29.280 when they say really shitty stuff like terrible things terrible things and then they'll hide behind

00:14:33.600 like oh it's it was just my opinion yeah and i'm not doing it for myself i'm doing it for like

00:14:37.240 younger people that are seeing this happen and be like you know what i mean i feel like you're the

00:14:40.700 same way it's just like yeah i'm like this if anything this doesn't hurt me it hurts somebody

00:14:45.980 else it doesn't hurt me no and that's why i don't deal with that like i'll i'll rip it apart and then

00:14:51.280 i'll block you because you're not allowed in here if that's how you're gonna act up no get kicked out

00:14:55.240 that's what happens easy and the blocking for me happens when it's just like someone who's actually

00:14:59.460 like ringing up my notifications in a way that i can't like concentrate i'm just like you know what

00:15:03.400 you you're not gonna get my attention no you lose privilege leave yeah but immediately you're so

00:15:07.300 right like the platforms are so different like instagram i feel like it's such such a safe space

00:15:11.160 for me in many ways whereas on tiktok if i posted something you never know it could get on the wrong

00:15:14.860 side which apparently this video did yeah it's it's like it literally i think i know it sucks because

00:15:20.080 it was just like supposed to be like i i'm in love with this person and i love them and want to show

00:15:24.660 them kind of thing so like these comments are super terrible just forewarning but like okay they say my

00:15:31.220 brain is working so hard right now i think to compute i don't know hilarious one this one says

00:15:38.300 i literally cannot comprehend what's going on when you get the right answer but the steps are wrong

00:15:44.860 what in the multiverse it's literally all spicy straight and it's because like to them and i think

00:15:52.780 about it this way it's threatening something that they think is true for themselves it has nothing to do

00:15:57.660 with this couple no this is fine they're beautiful it's yeah projection at its finest at its finest yeah

00:16:03.840 and it's also like i think to myself like when i've been in positions in my life where i wasn't the most

00:16:09.060 secure i think i've said things that were rude and i it was a projection of how i'm feeling and how it

00:16:14.680 made me feel exactly when you go to someone's platform and you say something that's rude or hurtful

00:16:19.780 you're not like identifying their trauma you're identifying you're finding out your own you're

00:16:25.640 literally just like divulging your own trauma you don't need to go to therapy because you did it

00:16:30.020 100 and i wonder where i mean like did the comments focus to on those like the on masculinity feminy like

00:16:36.220 the traditional ways we think about it yeah truly it was like uh that's why they said that spicy

00:16:40.160 straight thing because it's like the they don't operate within whatever they consider to be normal

00:16:46.220 whatever that is but if you remove yourself even more you're single let me see your photos

00:16:52.680 that's crazy yeah you go home alone every night right okay so maybe i maybe find someone who will

00:16:58.640 love you which is going to be hard and then come back and then we could talk about relationships

00:17:02.700 right and that's what i also think too about people who like comment on my makeup or my beauty or

00:17:07.700 stuff in my comment section i'm just like can i see it can i see selfie because you're because i can't

00:17:12.980 see anything because you don't have a name and you also don't have a profile picture imagine what

00:17:16.580 the makeup looks like oh my gosh i kind of would actually in a bad way though beat up is what it

00:17:22.340 looks seriously and i'm just like at a certain point i think when it comes to like gender roles in that

00:17:27.740 sense i also think you have like people who identify along all the different spectrums of

00:17:34.600 sexuality and gender and the fact that it's so fluid it's like you can have a queer relationship

00:17:40.120 with two queer people and they still really are attracted to each other and love each other

00:17:43.040 so i think when that hits that wrong side of tiktok and you get a bunch of straight cis guys

00:17:46.700 who are like again what's this happening maybe it's the fact that this person who's more feminine than

00:17:51.620 you is actually pulling harder than you are and that's what's bothering you do you know what i mean

00:17:56.420 maybe that's what it is maybe it's that you're painfully alone and absolutely goes back to that

00:18:01.760 that you hate yourself and no one else likes you because you're insufferable have you ever thought

00:18:04.960 about that do you want to comment on that when i see me when i see people say things like

00:18:08.780 like for me for example like obviously i'm a straight cis person with another straight cis

00:18:13.720 person right but when the the shit that i say men are always like oh she must be single oh she must

00:18:19.360 be single and i'm always like it's funny because i'm not i love when they say that though or they say

00:18:24.220 oh i bet you he's ugly because then i know clock a million like video let pause the show if you have

00:18:30.700 not seen the video of drew posting my boyfriend i think i saved that video down and was like oh my

00:18:40.780 god he is was it the one of him running on the treadmill in the beginning girl there was a lot

00:18:45.240 of him doing a lot of things it was it was like it was truly you know what's funny is i'd be waiting

00:18:50.260 for those comments because my videos go viral thanks babe because my boyfriend add that comment

00:18:55.320 to favorites i'm about to stitch it a hundred no that's what i'm saying i'll literally stitch it

00:19:00.060 and i'll open it even if i'm filming i'm in a random place i'll film it so i save the comments so i don't

00:19:04.380 lose it i literally yeah no that's what i'm saying i add it to favorites that's what whenever someone

00:19:08.140 says i wait i listen y'all i wait for the like oh like dude's fatherless or like oh my god yeah

00:19:15.760 do you want he's eating pistachios on the couch do you want us to do like in live like what do you

00:19:20.360 want to do that to me oh my gosh it makes me so happy right same and then when they see what he

00:19:26.620 looks like the narrative is they're just constantly moving the goalposts like after it's that they find

00:19:31.660 out i do have someone he's very good looking blah blah blah then it moves to like oh well i feel sorry

00:19:37.520 for him and i said you're single feel sorry for you yeah prioritize you redirect that energy to

00:19:43.800 yourself yeah and that's the thing too when you have someone that that's that's that attractive and i

00:19:48.740 think about this too it's like it's no longer subjective it's objective like there's nothing

00:19:53.400 you can like truly what are you gonna do like you know it's funny i talked to britney broski about this

00:19:58.740 like we talked about it and she was asking me i love her my twin but i asked i literally asked her

00:20:05.820 or she asked me how did i find him and i was like oh i i met him in high school like she's like really

00:20:11.340 and we were talking about it i told her that he's a he was a sociology major in college and she was like

00:20:16.420 she asked me if i had to like i'm so much more attractive oh my god she asked me well she asked

00:20:22.520 me um like about our relationship how it works well because obviously i'm very like outspoken person but

00:20:27.480 in real life i feel like i'm a lot more chill you know right you talk to me all the time yeah but

00:20:31.420 like yeah i was i was like talking to her about it and i said yeah he actually taught me this concept

00:20:36.780 like have you ever heard the classroom example in sociology yes actually yeah you know i was like

00:20:40.820 i'll just explain it for all of you because you already know but like oppression works like a

00:20:45.240 classroom so the people at the very back see all the people in front of them who are oppressing them

00:20:49.460 so at the very very back it's like trans black women and it goes all the way up from there at

00:20:53.520 the very front of the class is cis straight white men right so they can't they don't think anyone's

00:20:58.560 being oppressed because they can't see anybody right so i explained this whole thing to her and

00:21:02.900 she goes did you teach him that i go she bitch he taught me that she was like f*** you bitch right

00:21:07.340 laughing we were dying i said he taught me that i had never heard that before ever

00:21:11.720 i mean listen listen at the end of the day jealousy is a very very very sneaky thing

00:21:19.740 and i think the internet um is just gravitating towards it yeah truly in many different ways

00:21:26.080 yeah and that's why i'm like he's very smart he's educated like he he knew a lot of stuff he i've taught

00:21:30.640 him some stuff he's taught me a lot of stuff so that's why i was like you want to talk about gender

00:21:33.920 roles like and he's like i love the fact and my boyfriend's like this too like they're not like

00:21:38.920 on the internet that often and like he's a very shy person like i'm outgoing but you know me too

00:21:43.660 like i'm also on another level like i like to have a private life and i think the fact that he's not

00:21:48.840 in there and the fact that even like my dad i feel like sometimes i publicize him too much on my page

00:21:53.920 like he's a very private person honestly though like he loves making videos so he loves the attention

00:21:58.000 oh yeah now he's like oh he so he is a tourist oh i love tourists and he is and i will say at the same

00:22:04.840 time he at the first time when we first started to film together y'all like he'd be like i don't

00:22:09.540 understand why we're doing this and i'm like i get that let's just like make videos he's like this

00:22:14.540 isn't gonna do well it did well went viral now i'm like on the couch eating something he goes come on

00:22:19.100 like let's do something i'm like oh okay he's like speed he has like he's like i have something i want

00:22:24.480 to say i'm like great and now he's getting recognized i love that he doesn't get he'll literally call me

00:22:29.520 and be like this person from the sandwich shop never could i mean it's like i don't know why they said hi i'm

00:22:32.340 like oh no they see you on the internet they really like you he's like i don't understand i'm like

00:22:36.180 you'll you'll get it he's like how did that person know me completely who told you about me persian dad

00:22:40.940 like trying to just get his like pomegranates pistachios and get out like truly doesn't like

00:22:45.760 that attention you love pistachios oh my god true if there are any pistachio brands oh my god please

00:22:52.420 just dm me and we will make something work he all day it's like that any sort of like seeds or nuts

00:22:59.040 it's like a very persian men in general just all the time love to a little snack on those they're

00:23:04.040 either just like gossiping or having eating pistachios or having some pistachios just those

00:23:08.820 two things so funny but anyway but so i was saying it was also like i feel like having certain parts

00:23:13.900 of your life private is such a joy and such a blessing in this space because we're also so public

00:23:17.880 oh my god yeah so i feel like the times that we can use it to our advantage in a way to be like

00:23:21.940 oh yeah so beyond wrong about this as soon as i see it i'm like that's money in the bank when i see it

00:23:28.080 and that's what everybody assumes things about people and is also like you literally don't know

00:23:33.840 this person yeah exactly so like maybe just do your research before i once had someone stitch a video

00:23:41.060 of mine and was like this is why you'll never get a woman and i was like oh babe ma'am i am

00:23:47.840 who's gonna tell i was like i let's i'll facetime you right now let's chat a woman i was like listen

00:23:53.880 i am like to do what yeah i was like literally like literally like what am i gonna do like i

00:24:00.680 people truly will find some sort of a narrative or even like my like immigrant experiences like

00:24:06.620 they'll find that narrative and create it for themselves like someone once commented something

00:24:10.700 like your dad like went through war and like came to this country for you to be like queer and i'm like

00:24:17.600 my dad went to art school and like all of his friends are queer and like i'm fully not a shocker

00:24:24.640 and not a surprise to him like came out to him when i was nine your dad probably doesn't know yeah

00:24:29.280 and that's the thing again projection it really is always projection it's always all roads lead back

00:24:34.240 to the same thing always a man that's it yeah same thing with my with my boyfriend too like sometimes

00:24:39.920 sometimes people will tell like do you know what your girlfriend is doing i'm like no i'm hannah montana

00:24:46.560 i'm living a different life i put this bang on he has no idea who i am the bang down naturally i put

00:24:52.660 on this bang and he's like who is that who is that stranger oh my god he knows exactly yeah sometimes i

00:24:59.180 show my boyfriend my videos and he goes and i feel like he could have been meaner i said so if you want

00:25:04.280 me if you want his opinion he wants me to be meaner to you yeah that's what he wants you heard it here

00:25:08.960 that's what he wants from me and does he ever like do you ever find videos that he also sees that

00:25:16.880 he wants you to do or is it all just like no it's 90 me but he just recently started looking at tiktok

00:25:24.120 like like within the last month and he's like he'll he'll show me he'll be like have you seen this and

00:25:29.360 it's like one from eight months ago i'm like yeah babe i saw it stitch that yeah literally last year

00:25:33.800 yeah yeah old hat show me something else oh my gosh yeah sometimes though he'll send me videos

00:25:38.660 he's like you have to do this yeah you have to do this yeah he does it all the time yeah he's doing

00:25:42.600 my recon for me exactly and then but then they think they again make that assumption that like

00:25:46.980 again well and you know what's funny i told sorry not to cut you no no please i i literally saw i talked

00:25:52.080 to someone about this recently but i was saying when i started blowing up on tiktok at the same time

00:25:56.480 i told i did a video where i talked about a gift my boyfriend got me like he had paid for my nails

00:26:01.360 like six months in advance as a valentine's day gift because he was so tired of me going to the

00:26:05.820 nail salon he like did a private manicurist like so she doesn't like who's my current nail lady

00:26:10.660 shout out michelle nail studio love her shout out right also that gift take notes right he found my

00:26:16.540 eyelash girl and he found my nail girl both of which were gifts surprises now they're my regular

00:26:21.280 nail and lash tech but like i rolled that ball at the same time that i was making this content

00:26:27.380 so i was saying i think it was much more powerful in that sense because a lot of times

00:26:31.220 speaking at generals like they they make you believe in a patriarchal world that if you're

00:26:35.640 a strong woman you can't be with anyone like no man's ever gonna want you because if you're not

00:26:40.600 in the kitchen yeah you're not cleaning completely no man's ever gonna want to marry you which is

00:26:44.940 wrong bitch so well my question to you on that note is also with generals like

00:26:50.200 coming from a bat like a samoan background where like as you mentioned it can be very matriarchal in

00:26:57.000 many ways when it comes to like sort of cultural social experiences yeah like how does that impact

00:27:02.420 the way that you navigate that role on the internet because i think for me too in many ways persian men

00:27:07.560 are actually very feminine even like straight persian men so again like someone might see a video of

00:27:11.700 like my brother who is like amazing love him adore him he's the sweetest person truly like enjoys going

00:27:18.960 to gay clubs and like yeah always like i'm like all right you need to like but you know what i mean

00:27:23.120 but i'm like a little much yeah a little much and like literally gets everyone's number but again

00:27:27.120 people will see him and assume that he's queer and gay whereas he just has such an um like open

00:27:32.540 personality and a lot of what he performs would be coded as feminine and therefore gay or queer

00:27:38.880 which is again like gender role and we grew up yeah we grew up with like affection like my dad

00:27:43.780 was super affectionate towards us so i'm just like so i'm curious if that's also if you've had any

00:27:48.800 like conversations on that on your platform or anything yeah like i've talked about it i think

00:27:52.640 more so on my other platforms yeah um but like i've talked about how like the matriarchal portion

00:27:58.400 of my culture played a huge role into who i am today that's why i don't take shit like they'll say

00:28:03.940 the same thing like featherless behavior whoever whatever dingbat made that up come here and i'm

00:28:09.160 gonna punch you square in the face i hate that joke it makes no sense it's not funny it also puts

00:28:15.060 men at fault so what's the gotcha moment i don't know yeah but i every time they say that to me

00:28:19.820 my dad was a huge my dad's so affectionate so loving like he has always been so open and

00:28:26.260 emotionally cognizant yeah and he's very likes to talk about feelings like how are you feeling

00:28:30.980 that kind of stuff yeah so i was always around men like that yeah so that's why my bar has always

00:28:35.620 been so high because all i've ever had is strong male figures that didn't let me settle exactly and

00:28:41.120 then also and then to a certain point who is i don't even want to like say his name because i don't

00:28:47.080 know his name frankly but the person the guy who's like the podcast guy oh the one and only we talk

00:28:53.020 about him a lot here i don't i don't have i don't have social cues to respond to the words that are

00:29:00.000 coming out of his mouth like to me it's almost like i it feels you're doing this i know you're

00:29:03.960 doing this for views like we get it like we know you're doing clickbait but at the same time i'm just

00:29:08.320 like how hurt are you like really oh my god but see that's you being nice i know to me i'm like i

00:29:16.040 know keep talking keep recording it die alone have you stitched him before yes he is countless times

00:29:23.140 are you talking about the the the one the bald guy balding or bald honestly both i don't know

00:29:29.360 what's the difference like truly men like is it is does he wear the headphones all the time he's

00:29:33.880 always in the room yes girls yes yeah yeah yeah yes he made out he did a whole episode on me once

00:29:38.800 because that's how much he hates me that's how much publicity he wants to give you yeah wow but

00:29:44.000 he'll never talk to me personally oh yeah yeah he'll never like people are like you should go on the

00:29:48.300 podcast i go with all the respect in the world i would rather go dive headfirst into a volcano yeah

00:29:53.540 with a cheese grater on my face imagine him wanting to have discourse i'm like talk to you about what

00:29:58.960 what are we gonna talk about like sure truly like what are we gonna talk about that's and i and i

00:30:05.140 said to like the those men don't want to change they have zero interest in changing and like growing

00:30:10.780 and evolving they're not actually curious they just hate women they hate women because they can't get

00:30:15.480 women because they're the worst that's why i said at what point in life do you look in the mirror and

00:30:20.020 be like maybe i'm the problem like apparently not early enough like never truly never yeah and and

00:30:27.140 here's the other thing too even when they start to get ratioed and their content starts to perform

00:30:31.440 poorly they'll create other accounts oh yeah and backup accounts because they know what they're

00:30:35.400 saying is like absolute garbage and they're like uh people are afraid of the truth so that's what

00:30:39.940 they'll put in their bio banned for telling the truth completely at like 30k i'm like yeah yeah 30k

00:30:46.040 okay and then here's my other thing too whenever i am on whenever i create a video and i have like

00:30:53.980 those types of like toxic dudes like yeah comment on my stuff all the time i think to myself again

00:30:59.220 like how interesting would it be if we showed this to like the people that you know whenever i post

00:31:04.780 videos and i get those types of guys in my comments i'm like i would love for your like parentals to

00:31:10.760 see this comment and then i would love for you to show them that you said these words and that's the

00:31:14.540 other thing too is the embarrassing nature i've had moms dm me being like i can't like my son is like

00:31:20.920 you didn't mean it i'm like i don't care like do you want me to cry like truly what do you want

00:31:27.020 yeah exactly like i'm i'm i did nothing except for literally reshare something that he said yeah

00:31:34.340 i'm not doing anything else the fact that you're now getting visibility and seeing how like shitty

00:31:38.800 you are is like not on me that's literally you said those words i stitched i stitched someone once

00:31:43.060 too that made a terrible joke a terrible ableist and assault joke right oh i saw that that had my

00:31:50.380 blood fucking i'm sorry that my blood boiling that mom was in my comments saying like i can't

00:31:57.440 believe you made this like i get it it was bad it was a bad joke but this is so much worse is it

00:32:04.340 the joke is it do we just so much more different like we also have a very different idea about like

00:32:11.480 what's what's not funny and what's funny i think you know you know what's worse you coming to his

00:32:17.660 defense you know what's worse the fact that your son is acting like this on a public platform

00:32:21.980 maybe take this up with him i said i literally tell her with all the disrespect i don't give a shit

00:32:27.360 yeah i don't care tell your son yeah him take it to him yeah because i didn't push him out of my

00:32:32.680 cooter that's you said something that i think is so amazing i think it was one of your episodes

00:32:37.440 i never said that i was nice no never that's the one thing i've always stayed true to that's why i

00:32:43.620 said how could you call me a hypocrite when i told you what was gonna happen exactly or like guys that

00:32:47.680 are trying to be like true why don't you like just like put some like let's have like a discourse or

00:32:51.920 conversation like not when you're a shitty human and not when you literally hate women what it's the

00:32:57.180 same as like me having a conversation with someone who's homophobic or transphobic literally what are we

00:33:00.980 going to talk about that's like what you just said if you're not going to tell me anything new

00:33:04.800 there's really no need to talk that we don't need to talk by that if you're not giving me new

00:33:09.020 information we're good i don't i don't need to hear i don't need to hear it i mean i learn a lot

00:33:15.300 during the day but genuinely if you're not bringing something new to the table i think it's a waste of my

00:33:19.640 time it is it's a waste of time and energy and i always tell people that's a patriarchal value that

00:33:24.440 women are supposed to do that they're supposed to to be patient to educate to like give people

00:33:30.440 grace like oh like well like what if what if what if what if he's the worst how about that what if

00:33:35.760 he's a terrible person and that's it what period what if i hate him yeah then what that's what

00:33:40.500 that's it yeah literally and it's as simple as that it's as simple as that yeah and i also think

00:33:45.820 it's when you see a lot of women who like women who identify as women right like in those positions

00:33:53.580 who take up space they're immediately deemed as being hyper masculine and queer oh yeah instead of

00:34:00.200 like i get those all the time you know what i mean yeah and i think that's also an interesting

00:34:04.160 thing so think about this past video of like this amazing gorgeous lovely couple celebrating

00:34:08.500 themselves yeah again it's you're not like identifying anything new within their relationship

00:34:14.460 that they're all of a sudden going to be like oh my god like oh my god i'm masculine like no you're

00:34:20.340 literally just taking parts of your own experiences that are making you feel uncomfortable and you're

00:34:25.380 going to project it towards them because you don't want anyone seeing it towards you and that's where it

00:34:29.080 comes from yeah that's why that's so funny because i think that's how you think you think

00:34:32.580 they don't know right you think you don't get that unaware 100 or they probably know better than

00:34:38.540 anybody listen we're all self-aware like at a certain point too like i listen i am no makeup

00:34:43.240 artist i know like i do my beauty i get comments all the time well i think you're a makeup artist i

00:34:48.460 disagree and you know what happens i get comments about people being like your eyebrows are like

00:34:51.920 this and like your lashes are like this and it's amazing and then i get sometimes get guys that

00:34:55.400 are just like like your beard is showing and i'm like i know i haven't shaved in two days just be

00:35:01.800 kind were you like is it no literally and then sometimes i just troll and like when i get comments

00:35:07.020 that are like you are a male and i'm just like i'm a gemini i don't know what you're talking about

00:35:12.460 because i'm just like i'm not gonna i'm not gonna have this conversation with you i'm gonna make

00:35:16.020 you feel crazy and i'm gonna i'm gonna literally gaslight you and i'm gonna gatekeep everything that i

00:35:21.160 know about gender and i'm not gonna share with you yeah i i stay doing that i said that i said

00:35:26.860 our time is money right i made a video about it once and i was like it dudes who try to use really

00:35:31.400 big words they're like oh my god i remember well let's actually have a discourse let's have a

00:35:34.560 no that's why i said it doesn't matter how many words you use yeah and did you just use did you

00:35:39.520 just learn the word exactly i said i literally they'll take that word satire satire unpack yeah

00:35:46.380 irony they're learning intersectional which i think is ironic like truly yeah i'm like very

00:35:53.000 lack of intersectionality but like front of the class yeah goes back to your like could not be

00:35:58.420 more at the front of the class yeah i literally said like no matter how many words you use i'm

00:36:02.460 gonna tell you to suck my big fat dick i'm gonna tell you put it in your mouth and choke that's what

00:36:07.220 i'm gonna say always no matter what you say to me you're like well explain it to me and i'm gonna

00:36:11.700 say or you can eat my literal ass how about that and they get so mad they're like see that's how i

00:36:17.320 know you're not you're not intelligent blah blah i don't need to tell you that i'm smart for you to

00:36:21.120 know i'm smart also you spelled intelligent wrong oh there you go today i literally tweeted about

00:36:26.520 someone someone said you're so conceited i hope one day blah blah blah and i said it's conceited they

00:36:30.980 use the wrong form of conceited oh like they meant this one and i said maybe learn how to spell

00:36:36.040 before you tell people to humble themselves oh or like um wait someone's like there's let's

00:36:41.180 conversate babe i know i hate that one it's converse i hate that let's just converse it's

00:36:47.880 converse babe yeah conversate's a made up word up word yeah in your mind that is so funny one time i

00:36:53.560 said the word unfunny and people said that's not a real word and i said i don't know how to break it

00:36:58.740 to you babe maybe go google it also like do you have that much time to genuinely like be that and

00:37:05.340 listen i'm all about being very like intentional about word choices but i think i think at a

00:37:09.780 certain point too when you know someone is doing well you know someone's being successful they're

00:37:12.840 going to come after you for all of those small little like absolutely yeah absolutely it happens

00:37:17.460 to me all the time now i'm just like listen at the end of the day time is money yeah and we are

00:37:21.920 we're girl bossing our way through it we're too busy babe too busy too booked and busy i'm absolutely

00:37:26.580 on the girl boss train so okay so this next video we're going to talk about a man weaponizing gender

00:37:34.660 roles right okay so for this video um in this video right a man says his sister said that men

00:37:41.560 can go out and fill the dishwasher men can hang clothes yeah um they get ignorant to the point that

00:37:47.540 women will just say it's fine and they'll do it themselves and his sister called this weaponized

00:37:52.240 incompetence which we were talking about earlier uh which i love honestly i love that term and

00:37:58.820 it said um they said that men have done this for years and that's how gender roles kind of get set

00:38:03.860 in the household obviously other than patriarchy and um one of the hosts even admits that um you'll

00:38:09.120 do the assigned job so badly so she'll never ask you again again yeah and i've heard of weaponized

00:38:14.140 incompetence before have you i listen and i now it's like everything is flashing before my eyes in terms

00:38:19.480 of like relationships like it's so funny i think there is a very endearing version of it like when you

00:38:25.700 take aside gender roles like i'm in a queer relationship with a man with a cisgendered man

00:38:30.400 and we don't have gender roles i'm like yeah what are those it's just like whatever we do everything

00:38:37.820 there are certain things that he does and i hope he's watching um that like we've talked about like

00:38:44.020 the toothpaste cap just goes right back on he is isn't that crazy it goes right back it's unbelievable

00:38:50.940 that they've created a top that it doesn't have to go anywhere so it doesn't dry out so it's like

00:38:55.780 you know what i mean i'm like connect the dots so you think he'd know right and then he's aquaman

00:39:00.040 out of a shower he'll literally not towel down and walk around my apartment and i'm like are you

00:39:04.600 for real so i'm just like and he will be like oh like yeah and he's i when it comes soaking the floor

00:39:10.560 and he's like oh like no like you do it bad like you just i'm just like there's no part of this

00:39:15.140 that like is going to be put on me but it's endearing yeah but then what this is is more talking about

00:39:19.520 kind of more so yeah but i think but i think that genuinely comes to like men and women and

00:39:24.160 historically how like men and women have been socialized by this sociocultural world that we

00:39:28.740 live in to come up with it's a very interesting concept oh yeah my boyfriend has never done that

00:39:33.460 to me i can confidently say thank god um there were some again it's just more so in enduring yeah

00:39:40.400 it's like here's something my boyfriend always does he comes in the room takes off shoes leaves

00:39:45.560 him in the middle yeah if he changes just like close right there too it looks like he got

00:39:49.440 evaporated like abducted out of the clothes into the sky in his mind that's what happened and i go

00:39:54.300 why is this here like why are these like there's something right over here you could walk the shoes

00:39:59.600 into the closet take them off in there and he's like oh he just every i just don't i and i was like

00:40:05.160 i don't know if this is a man thing if this is a straight man thing i have no clue i hate it i just

00:40:09.880 don't know i oh yeah where's a size 13 shoe so i trip over those clown shoes every single day half the

00:40:16.420 room yeah like if i trip over one more croc i'm gonna lose it i'm gonna lose if i trip over one

00:40:21.960 more croc the size of a canoe i'm gonna lose it oh my gosh why are these here why are these here

00:40:27.180 catch me on the wrong day i'm starting so many fights over that one shoe oh absolutely and you

00:40:31.720 said croc and this is not sponsored by crocs so we love crocs i was gonna say crocs he has so many

00:40:37.520 crocs and they're just everywhere but he leaves it in and then he's just like he's like oh like no

00:40:42.220 yeah you know how i think that's cute like i think part of that is like it's endearing because

00:40:45.920 he gets he's again self-aware yeah but i just think i call my boyfriend's mind a shredder

00:40:50.780 so like some if it's not important okay gone forever selective hearing yeah selective memory

00:40:57.640 yeah all of that he loves he he loves to help me around the house like wash clothes like wash dishes

00:41:05.160 all that kind of stuff in fact he cooks all the time he doesn't like when i cook that's a true fact

00:41:09.900 he doesn't like when i cook he's like i don't like when you do it interesting oh no okay yeah

00:41:15.340 twist my arm yeah literally that's fine that is so interesting yeah the one thing i will call out my

00:41:21.500 parents on this i will say my dad i don't know if he has had like an issue with dishwashers in the

00:41:27.960 past but like he truly will have an issue with like he doesn't enemies with them he like doesn't he

00:41:33.500 just doesn't know what he'll clean he'll do everything he cleans up but when he puts stuff into the

00:41:37.480 dishwasher i have a feeling he doesn't do it right so that he doesn't have to do it it's actually

00:41:42.960 hilarious and like oh very much so and i think that is a very prime example of we're all works in

00:41:48.480 progress but i do think in a certain way like what like what were the like what were the top comments

00:41:54.480 on was it coming from people on that video that were just like i mean like i think it was mostly

00:41:59.480 women who were like yeah yeah like we've been new like absolutely like this top one says which leads

00:42:05.060 to the women infantilizing the man and therefore lose attraction to him because she's not attracted

00:42:09.380 to a child which yeah that's a good point i don't i this is something i actually talked about the other

00:42:14.660 day but like when sometimes when i make videos i always say men and sometimes people go girl you

00:42:19.760 mean boys like these are not men i go no with all the respect in the world i meant men that's what i

00:42:24.180 meant and i said yeah infantilizing them like that excuses them of the behavior because they're like oh

00:42:29.860 they're just not mature yet oh yeah i said old enough to fight in a war old enough to know so

00:42:34.900 like old enough to pay taxes old enough to know my most controversial video that i made was a stitch

00:42:40.580 with this one woman and again you know we've talked about this like i don't like to like stitch women

00:42:46.020 and queer people and like people of color like for me i'm just like i don't like we that happens to

00:42:51.460 people a lot but yeah this one encounter this person was like um saying something that was about

00:42:58.320 like the way that men can be very like violent in relationships and like not know how to like

00:43:02.900 posit their feelings and was infantilizing them being like men need time to think and i was like

00:43:07.300 no children need time it was like it was also like more about like needing time to like step aside

00:43:13.440 before acting and i'm like are you talking about a seven year old or a grown ass man like i'm so sorry

00:43:20.040 sure let's be very like let's celebrate of space and let's also be like yeah let's validate the fact

00:43:25.520 that like especially men who are not taught to be emotional like oftentimes fair don't know how to

00:43:30.740 react however let's not make this into like uh they don't know any better but like you're 35

00:43:36.940 exactly you've had many years to like get to this point figure out some control no yeah i i say that

00:43:43.760 all the time well then i well i always think too that a lot of times when they when they talk about

00:43:49.060 stuff like that i'm like let's stop pretending like you actually care about the problems that men

00:43:53.400 suffer at the hands of patriarchy that's not what you care about you care about excusing the

00:43:57.080 misogyny there's a difference yeah so that's why i'm like if they are old enough to go fight in a

00:44:02.040 war for this country yeah then they're old enough to know that you shouldn't hit women yeah i feel

00:44:06.700 like that's pretty yeah yeah i think that's a pretty yeah that's the bottom of the barrel human respect

00:44:11.880 is probably absolutely younger years and it's the it's the pick me people that always post those

00:44:17.180 videos yeah like well and that's why i always think infantilizing them that's why i always say men

00:44:21.940 i'm like no i'm said when i meant and i meant what i said i meant men like yeah no i don't

00:44:27.380 stitch boys yeah what are you talking about about my yeah no 100 and that's the other thing too is

00:44:31.940 there's always like literal children in my comment section i ignore i'm like if you're a child i mean

00:44:37.660 oftentimes i think it's really funny because like they just want that attention in many ways but i'm

00:44:41.500 just like you know what you're like i can't believe you took the time to reply i know and i'm just

00:44:44.720 like listen i i can make time but i think part of it is also like i would rather eviscerate a grown

00:44:50.340 ass man than like i don't know i i say that all the time about like infantilizing them again it's

00:44:56.400 excusing them of the behavior it's not holding them accountable yeah and it's very again if we're

00:45:00.480 talking about intersexuality and nuance it's very different than also being aware of the fact that we

00:45:04.440 live in a society where men are not taught to like healthfully like deal with their emotions and like

00:45:09.420 i get it and but here's can i be very honest if we're talking about mental health awareness

00:45:14.140 in many ways like i'm gonna prioritize the mental health of like the people who are

00:45:19.440 most marginalized in this society first before a white man i'm so sorry like i i guess not that

00:45:25.100 it's not important in many ways i'm just i think at the end of the day for me my platform like i was

00:45:30.820 looking at my analytics the other day because someone says one commented like your your content

00:45:35.880 is polarizing and i was like good i was like 93 percent of my followers are women and like gays and

00:45:42.280 days and i'm just like like if men come to their platform and they enjoy it great welcome you're

00:45:46.320 absolutely like but when they start commenting and saying stuff i'm like you have to be very

00:45:50.400 you have to understand what space you're in right now like this is not for you you're a guest in this

00:45:54.140 yeah like this is oh that is the like this isn't for you act right or you're getting kicked out is

00:46:00.020 what i always say like i made a video once telling people like reserve my tag for the important stuff for

00:46:06.260 the big stuff for the big kahunas i have bigger fish to fry don't tag me in thirst traps although we

00:46:11.980 hate them collectively they're not hurting anybody yeah just weird that is such a good way to put it

00:46:17.140 they're not hurting anyone yeah they're just annoying to watch yeah they're except for oh my

00:46:21.920 god that one that you did of that guy who's like flexing so hard he was about to like like poopy his

00:46:27.460 pants and it was something about like obviously like fat women and like something that was just like

00:46:32.580 these are different fitness trainers are on another level i put like like you want to talk about

00:46:39.160 delusional yeah oh my god delusional podcasters and these like the gym bros it's someone asked me

00:46:46.100 once who's worse why are they always australian i'm so i love australian i'm like it's always these

00:46:50.540 like you want to know something else funny some some white kid called me a racist right and then

00:46:55.780 someone said why why would you say that and he goes towards australian men not a race babe cut the

00:47:02.200 cameras that's not a race babe oh you know what they are a virus they're not a race they're a virus

00:47:10.980 but then people actually think that and i and i truly was like i just said what's in the water

00:47:18.300 in australia why are so many of you so terrible do you know how many australian women i have a huge

00:47:23.400 fan base in australia do you know how many australian women were like they are so bad here

00:47:27.840 it's so bad here why i don't know someone do an anthropological study yeah on why it's so bad

00:47:33.260 over there but then also i've i've you know i've i've met many australians who are phenomenal yes

00:47:38.420 we're not making generalizations in many ways yeah but i will say in science but it's also um

00:47:43.260 it's very direct like i think sometimes what happens is like they'll say like you know f word

00:47:49.580 gay person but like very like intentionally and then i'm like oh and they're like what and i'm like

00:47:57.080 that's or like oh my god like the word i'm gonna be careful um anyway but i just think it's funny

00:48:02.880 that like in general when you have this level of like self-awareness i'm like oh you know you're

00:48:07.340 saying something that's problematic and racist and you're cool and they're cool that's cool with that

00:48:11.900 versus i think a lot of the times too with a lot of content that i see on tiktok the second you stitch

00:48:16.520 it taken down yeah like erasing tweets like truly being like versus like no i'm gonna say it like i'm

00:48:23.980 just like huh okay that's a different level of something that i've never yeah i always wonder

00:48:28.300 like why the patience is always afforded to the men i know the answer i just wonder why it's still

00:48:34.480 that way yeah um oh yeah especially with me but you know i digress this next comment says weaponized

00:48:42.380 incompetence you send your man to buy say huggies diaper size five and he brings pampers size one

00:48:48.840 so he isn't sent again i mean that's a good point but that's also your baby yeah so you don't know

00:48:55.420 the size of your baby's diaper that's weird yeah also brands are tough also and let me give you

00:49:00.520 another example of how like it's possible for men to not be like that because men are like oh men are

00:49:05.800 like that wrong yeah wrong you're wrong and they always leave out gay men yeah always leave out trans

00:49:11.740 men yeah they always absolutely yeah so because again no intersectionality whatsoever no they know the

00:49:17.500 word now but they don't get what it yeah i'll give you an example my boyfriend one time i really

00:49:21.460 needed tampons went to the store got me the exact tampon i asked for and that's it he doesn't use

00:49:27.420 them he doesn't see them he doesn't interact with them i told him this is the exact one i need i sent

00:49:31.960 him a picture of it and he bought me two boxes and then he brought be that easy yeah and life could

00:49:37.960 truly be that easy genuinely and not dramatic and not i'm in the tampon section i'm like a girl

00:49:45.440 yeah you want to shut up yeah yeah you buy those they're gonna be like what is that guy using those

00:49:50.280 like dude like he's going to that guy's putting tampons up oh my literally what do you think he's

00:49:56.080 what do you think he's literally yeah my boyfriend does that for me he also this is so off topic but

00:50:01.160 like not really because it's on the subject of period care but he'll he'll sometimes he'll get me

00:50:06.160 like new underwear or whatever yeah you know like get the full like full butt one yes some full

00:50:11.800 butts i can we brand that and have him be creative he tells me i got you the full butts because i

00:50:17.400 know those are better see endearing very sweet it's not and it's and he's trying his best and men

00:50:23.500 can really do this like that's my other thing too it takes very little it really does but i also

00:50:29.100 think part of it too is like you have to want to make an effort exactly that's what i think about

00:50:34.420 in many cases it's like goes back to your point some like with men like in general and in the case

00:50:39.740 of these men that are just like you truly just are homophobic you hate women like you are racist

00:50:44.880 like in some ways we're talking about like white cis straight men you don't want to make an effort

00:50:48.660 but i will say i especially as someone who like navigates gender very differently i've had you know

00:50:54.540 in my dms like women and men who like don't agree or like don't understand something that i'm saying

00:50:59.300 who genuinely want to learn yeah and then i have to be like okay like i'm interested like am i going to give

00:51:04.000 this person the time of day or not yeah like i had this like ongoing fight with this guy um on my in

00:51:09.460 my dms and he just kept going on about how again what i was saying was really divisive in terms of

00:51:14.000 like talking about like queer people or some note and i was just like what are you not getting because

00:51:18.580 i also saw him posting like mutual aid organizations and stuff and i was like maybe there's just something

00:51:22.880 about like the intersectionality that you're not getting and we talked about it and he truly understood

00:51:27.340 it and i was like great amazing like we're not gonna be friends but like that was fine you know what i mean

00:51:31.720 like that's okay but that's okay but see for them to say because i'm sure they tell you the same

00:51:34.980 thing they tell me that too like you're just unwilling to have the conversation i'm unwilling

00:51:38.300 to have the conversation with a very specific person yeah i will have the conversation with

00:51:42.560 someone who's open to learning i've had it many times yeah my own boyfriend has asked me questions

00:51:46.520 before and i've explained it to him yeah i've asked my sister before like yeah this to me guys i just

00:51:50.740 want to be a better ally i want to be better 100 more educated and aware because that's the point

00:51:55.480 that's literally the point everybody makes mistakes it's almost like with pronouns too

00:51:59.960 with pronouns i always find because like i i sort of i feel like there's a lot of people who are very

00:52:06.120 tied to the pronouns being a true manifestation of their identity which i think is super important

00:52:11.000 and i think really for me it's not so much so i think like for example i use a he and they pronouns

00:52:16.240 and first of all people are like but i thought you were non-binary and i'm like well i think that's

00:52:20.300 fair i understand the confusion but i think part of it is like i don't identify with what you're seeing

00:52:24.840 like in many ways it's all optics when people try and misgender me i'm like you literally can't

00:52:29.960 like i'm like i look because i'm not gonna let you because it's not about the word it's not about

00:52:34.820 the pronoun i'm seeing and experiencing something different than you're seeing and if you're seeing

00:52:39.260 something that doesn't align with what i'm saying i have control to be like i don't that's fine i'm

00:52:44.040 not choosing you're wrong like like like we or fight with you about it 100 100 it's just that's the

00:52:50.680 case but i think you know again it depends because when we are talking about pronouns we

00:52:53.880 always want to but again i've made mistakes i've like learned about people's identities i'm like oh

00:52:58.060 shoot and then sometimes when people like use he pronouns for me and they think they screw up i'm

00:53:01.760 like no no you're good like i use he pronouns yeah and i still identify it as non-binary so like it's

00:53:06.140 all good i think again it's part of and it's all like up to that person yeah exactly and then as

00:53:10.800 long as you respect what they want that's all that matters it takes very little like when people

00:53:15.180 are saying they don't want to say they don't want to have to give up certain words or they don't want

00:53:19.140 to have to use pronouns like the proper ones i always think you have to be out of your mind

00:53:24.120 with the bigotry for that to be a hindrance on your life oh my gosh that interview how often are

00:53:29.260 you doing that that interview with i don't even know his name where he was like you don't get your

00:53:33.400 own pronouns it's like you don't get your own prepositions i want it to be like are you prepositions

00:53:38.540 i was like first of all for a sec second of all do you know what you're saying i almost wanted to

00:53:45.720 stitch that video and tag that person and be like you know what you're right respecting people's

00:53:51.500 pronouns is crazy it's almost as crazy as when people change their last names after signing a

00:53:58.760 marriage document and respecting that what's the difference because they are now the property of

00:54:05.440 their cis heterosexual it's different because it yeah it upholds that's different because it's man

00:54:11.140 and girl it's not about wanting to learn people's pronouns or respecting them it's literally you don't

00:54:16.280 want to that's why i said you gotta go out of your mind with the misgendering for that to be a problem

00:54:21.560 the fact that i get misgendered before a dog does is like very disturbing to me well like how often do you

00:54:27.420 see like these same dudes like if you called their like baby or their dog like oh what a cute girl

00:54:32.700 it's a boy knives out like you just misgendered i'm like i'm your dog truly like let's bring that

00:54:41.280 energy into humans but you don't care again exactly you don't actually care yeah it's not about it

00:54:46.820 being hard we do it all the time people change their legal names and we just without an eye are

00:54:53.060 like yep this is like mrs this person instead of mrs that person yeah that's like uh like famous like

00:54:58.560 uh celebrities or like the one i can think of off the top of my head is like a football player

00:55:02.740 and his name i i think his name was chad johnson but he changed his last name to chad ochocinco

00:55:09.120 because he was number 85 what if i just i was like i'm not calling you that i'm only calling you

00:55:14.340 chad johnson from now on oh yeah that's who you really are oh that's what happened when i made a

00:55:18.800 video too that was like oh like i'm not gonna respect this person's pronoun i was like all right like

00:55:22.320 no worries dave like you don't have to he's like my name's adam i'm like i'm gonna call you dave

00:55:26.140 according to me does that bother you yeah does that bother you according to me your name's

00:55:29.820 exactly how does it feel kanye's had 18 names i think we can be good with like you guys memorize

00:55:35.440 all those we're good yeah very quickly like hype these guys like know every single nickname that

00:55:40.080 he has i think we can learn they them yeah i think truly i think we can make that you can make room in

00:55:44.360 there i'm sure a little bit i'm sure okay this next one says and it builds resentment leading to

00:55:49.560 divorce ending the relationship however most guys will think it ended because of nothing

00:55:53.660 yeah that's true i mean like i mean if you're a terrible partner odds are i think that's a

00:55:59.060 partner thing though i don't even know if that's a gender thing like to me that's more about literally

00:56:02.440 being a partner that is portraying that but again i think but in this particular case i think they're

00:56:07.580 talking about so straight man yeah it really is because they're like she's got it and also this

00:56:13.480 idea that like i don't know have you seen your own mother do this is that playing a role into it

00:56:18.440 like potentially i think so i think so too infantilizing them from birth completely till they're like

00:56:23.480 however old like absolutely absolutely and then you're like these cis straight men are literally

00:56:29.040 it's gaslighting i mean it's another it's literally a way of gaslighting your partner into being like

00:56:33.840 i can't do these feminine things like put a dish in a sink that's for girls okay okay washing dishes

00:56:42.080 okay that's for girls yes okay okay this next one says i clean the house for you um no you live here

00:56:48.360 too you clean the house do you need a cookie that's funny that's so funny see women are funny i don't

00:56:54.080 care what anybody says love that that's so funny it's true just like when they say um come get your

00:56:59.180 kids or like like men say that to women or if men watch the kids by themselves it's babysitting if

00:57:05.340 women watch the kids it's like taking care of their child unbelievable yeah gave birth to that person

00:57:10.520 too you fully were involved in this so that's kind of on you also yeah that's so i love that

00:57:16.480 comment that's no you just clean the house very true snaps for you okay so that's gonna do it for

00:57:23.140 this episode of the comment section show i want to thank my wonderful amazing guest serious i adore

00:57:30.420 you the feeling is so i love you so much she's so much back like truly you you're probably the one

00:57:35.940 influencer i talk to the most i think so all the time i also feel like one of my chaotic traits

00:57:40.340 is just i will facetime drew with no warning i won't i literally will just be like are you

00:57:45.280 available at like and i know it's chaotic and again the gemini in me but i love it i love it i

00:57:50.500 live for it honestly i adore you i love you so much i'm so happy you came thank you for coming

00:57:54.780 for having thank you for teaching us so much i'm so happy it's a learning experience it is i have a

00:58:00.520 lot to share you me and your dad next podcast we're gonna do the next episode with him in love

00:58:05.880 that where can everybody find you you can find me on tiktok and on instagram at cyrus facey c-y-r-u-s-v-e-y-s-s-i

00:58:13.540 um and on billboards to come oh love it and campaigns that are gonna be happening um and maybe some

00:58:22.140 together i would love that so i would absolutely love that thank you so much for coming i adore you

00:58:27.080 truly you're the best and thank you all so much for watching today for those of you who want to catch

00:58:31.800 new episodes of the comment section show make sure you tune in to the past your bedtime youtube

00:58:36.340 channel new episodes drop every wednesday at 12 p.m pacific standard time and you can stream this

00:58:42.120 also on all streaming services available so itunes apple podcast amazon everything you can think of

00:58:48.160 all of it under the sun you can stream it there so thank you so much for watching bye

00:58:52.820 bye

00:58:53.140 you

STOP THE CAMERAS! ｜ Drew Afualo ft. Cyrus Veyssi ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 13

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