The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - THE BEST OF 2025

00:00:00.000 hey y'all it's giraffe wallow and i am alone right now why because this episode is a very special

00:00:06.240 one this is the best of 2025 all of my guests are going to be in this it's best moments best

00:00:12.300 giggles best what have you you already know but just want to say thank you so much for another

00:00:17.060 wonderful year of the comment section i love you i love this show and i know i'm really

00:00:22.140 fucking annoying so i appreciate you being here happy new year happy holidays and i'll see you

00:00:27.480 in 2026 love you bye

00:00:29.320 i had a friend she when i was living in new york for a little bit she was up in harlem i was in

00:00:41.800 brooklyn yeah and you know she would like have to walk back to her and men like men in new york will

00:00:48.180 just truly say anything to you every step of the way right welcome to the big apple whatever

00:00:53.280 and she tells me she was like oh yeah well if i am getting off the train late at night i will

00:00:59.860 take my shoes off already crazy yeah and then do this like crab walk and laugh the whole way back

00:01:06.900 and i was like you're full of shit and she did it she ran like two blocks ahead of me and then came

00:01:12.720 back i'll show you my technique right now nothing makes them leave me alone faster oh and you know

00:01:17.960 what i mean truly the sidewalk parted yeah like like the red sea like it was it was efficient it's

00:01:25.000 a full it's it's yeah it's a foolproof plan this episode is presented by sephora and we're back

00:01:31.460 the next part wow you will not want to miss this get 20 off full-size fragrances and body mist at

00:01:38.340 sephora now through december 24th that's right i'm talking about saving 20 on brands like sol de

00:01:44.500 janeiro k alley valentino fleur and more only at sephora and sephora at cole's exclusions and terms

00:01:52.520 apply i've never done the glam bot but obviously i've been to many carpets where i've seen get in

00:01:57.360 front of that camera baby oh girl they give me i told you they give me a vest and they tell me start

00:02:01.100 valeting cars when i get there fuck off i will say the line's too long honestly and honestly i've

00:02:07.380 i'm late every time so that's why i miss i miss the window you you're doing your glam right you're

00:02:12.860 getting the glam perfect i will say for um little tiktokers like us for little little tiny tiny girls

00:02:21.740 um they we get one shot that's they they are moving you along yeah cole and i know each other a little bit

00:02:29.000 now because he has seen every time one of these pops up for the wrong reasons um so i think if i begged

00:02:35.840 for it he would give me another shot but i just don't care enough no they're they're very one and

00:02:40.620 done with us right they really are and i my point in saying that is the glam bot is very intimidating

00:02:46.920 uh-huh and she moves fast as fuck and then they're like so fast and then they're like all right go back

00:02:52.760 to fucking serving trays thank you go pick up an hors d'oeuvre tray and get to work right like as soon

00:02:57.620 as you do your thing they're like okay put this badge on yes people know not to shoot yeah go ahead

00:03:02.280 okay bottom climb back down the stairs i've never i've never done one though i've never

00:03:07.180 done like that i'm honestly kind of i'm honestly kind of afraid i think you would eat the fuck down

00:03:12.540 i hope so also my first one people were nice okay when when you do your first one it's a win for the

00:03:18.120 culture as soon as you've done your seventh or eighth yeah you're like get the cover screen

00:03:22.840 right you know what i mean it's like god we've seen this bottom glam bot too many times what's next

00:03:29.500 position 28 or something like put the legs in the air i know it's actually interesting and people

00:03:34.560 don't i guess people don't realize with evidence rules the way they work is if a client because

00:03:41.660 obviously attorney client privilege confidentiality we are bound bound by uh you know just shutting our

00:03:49.080 fucking mouths not being able to tell anyone anything and it's a much stronger privilege than

00:03:53.160 like the therapist privilege or a doctor patient because there are certain mandatory disclosures

00:03:57.420 reporting mandatory reporting laws yeah um we don't have that we are we're mandatory not reporting

00:04:02.880 yeah you don't fucking say shit and so the way the evidence rules work out for when you have to tell

00:04:08.700 and when you don't kind of thing if a client drove me out said hey like let's take a drive

00:04:14.520 drove me out to some random location showed me a body in the ground yeah we're like look it's the

00:04:21.360 missing the missing guy on television i killed him if i don't touch it if i if they don't give it to me

00:04:27.940 like i don't hand it i don't handle it i am bound to not say a word that's crazy not even like call a

00:04:34.860 tip anything like i can't say anything and i've always thought about that's always like the most

00:04:38.820 extreme situation that's why people are like oh lawyers are going to hell and i'm like no yeah probably

00:04:42.700 but you know i mean we're trying to keep some people out of prison before then right is you know

00:04:47.600 a good thing uh we're we're the last line of defense for your constitutional rights you know

00:04:52.100 the people who are going to be fighting especially the next four years are going to be the ones who

00:04:55.220 are for sure maybe probably going to hell but i did some great stuff before then right uh but i

00:04:59.240 always think about just completely as a joke how i would react yeah like if a client was like let's

00:05:06.420 get a coffee and i was like oh my god sure and i just have my fucking gucci bag like yeah with my

00:05:10.940 stiletto heel in front of an open pit of someone and i'm just like i'm trying to play it cool

00:05:16.740 right because i'm like i don't want to be a statistic i'm like no yeah for sure 100 maybe

00:05:21.820 some febreze in the bag like what would you like how would i like i don't know how i would act

00:05:25.480 thank you for sharing it with me i don't know how it would act but there are i'm holding space for

00:05:29.020 this yes i'm holding space i'm holding space for this don't worry yeah they're not defying gravity

00:05:33.020 anymore they're defying gravity somewhere girl i think also sometimes i get i've gotten is you know

00:05:41.480 when you're out and someone's like um like a girl will be like oh my god like love you did it

00:05:46.000 and then she'll really like the the one thing she really wants to tell me like this has happened

00:05:50.160 a few times is points to her boyfriend and it's like he thinks you're funny right oh and he oh my

00:05:57.440 god you're so and he and my or if he's out there and my and my boyfriend and i'm like well thank god

00:06:05.220 your boyfriend because when you said i was funny i didn't think that meant anything

00:06:10.580 right and it's like okay it didn't mean anything to me when you told me no it meant nothing now

00:06:16.040 it meant it was it was insulting and and also but the obvious like it's also like so wild to think

00:06:23.420 like that is how conditioned we are that you're even saying it like it's this normal thing because

00:06:28.180 you are fully making this statement in this moment that it is even harder for my boyfriend to find a

00:06:34.360 woman funny i get that a lot too right yeah yeah all the time it's never it's more so online like

00:06:40.880 they'll be like even my man thinks you're funny even my that could be that's the name of your next

00:06:45.400 book that's the name of your next book that's a great title i'm funny even even yes your man your

00:06:51.620 man thinks i'm funny and if someone tries to steal that title i'm reposting this and i'm calling you

00:06:57.920 out because that's her title but no literally it's so interesting that's actually such a good point i've

00:07:03.840 never thought of it that way it's like even we don't trust our own right like opinions on stuff

00:07:08.560 oh right i'll tell you what if if a bunch of men are laughing at me i'm either getting mad or i'm

00:07:13.580 worried oh right nothing i feel is joyous right in any way because if because a lot of times it's

00:07:18.620 like oh we hate you and so you're expressing hate for yourself and we're going and it's like well

00:07:24.860 maybe not that if they're laughing with me yes something's off no oh i know check in it's so

00:07:31.840 crazy why are so many of you nice to me right now i'm leaning towards acting this year that's my

00:07:35.920 my goal this year okay wait are you let's talk about it i would love to so i just so my agency

00:07:43.260 they've been like they've been having a couple scripts but it's never like a role that makes sense

00:07:47.900 for me i don't even know if i can speak about this and i don't care because i'm not gonna get it

00:07:50.360 i got an audition for a jennifer lopez netflix movie oh but the role they had the role they just

00:07:58.740 asked me to read for two parts one was like this like kind of goofy office guy whatever whatever

00:08:03.220 he's like funny i was like i can read this straight damn it but i'll try okay next guy

00:08:07.980 not him being like the seducer of the office in one scene he's like in a pool and he's trying to

00:08:13.560 get the main character which i'm assuming is jennifer lopez to get in the pool and i'm supposed

00:08:17.080 to be naked and i literally called them i was like guys i and they'll always be like it's for

00:08:21.340 experience like you just gotta keep trying and i'm like this is a waste of my time like can you

00:08:25.740 imagine me in a pool naked in a movie and i'm seducing jennifer lopez it's just like not so

00:08:33.460 like that's where my acting's at right now i'm reading there if anything if i were you i would

00:08:39.860 take that as a comp the highest of compliments they think your body's tea you're like oh so i'm

00:08:44.600 nothing but a piece of meat to you guys yeah you guys are just gonna slut me out like that yeah

00:08:49.200 honestly if i my i wish my body was like that i think it's let me out all day i actually think i

00:08:52.840 need to it sounds like they're trying to zachariah all those roles i'm getting are like they always

00:08:57.000 have some sort of really chiseled physical description i'm going to be like where's

00:09:00.960 quirky gay best friend also worked at best buy for four months oh yeah best buy was hell on earth

00:09:06.760 that's where straight people go to like i don't know do something demonic behind the scene i was a

00:09:12.820 warehouse you would be the most useless best buy worker i was a warehouse worker they had me on i

00:09:18.820 i was in the middle of why were you working in a warehouse i was because it was okay girl

00:09:23.240 did you have that brace for your back too they didn't they didn't give me the brace i was young

00:09:28.180 and spry okay i was in that warehouse like afraid i was like did you put on like when my brother like

00:09:34.740 that man voice yeah code switch yeah i did yeah yeah with the same movements you're doing that voice

00:09:43.540 i'm still acting the same did you get that shipment eric yeah i did i got that i got that shipment

00:09:49.220 shaking your shoulders no no i don't think i see they see right through it queen i'm crazy and back

00:10:02.440 then i had like a buzz cut and like these little square glasses like no i can't it was i was going

00:10:06.840 to the berlin club what's it called bergenheimers i was giving best buy office siren like

00:10:12.580 like you guys didn't get it you guys didn't get it back then i was ahead of my i was ahead of my

00:10:22.400 time you were the king of the family those khakis were tight okay are you a big crier at movies

00:10:26.880 i cry about everything right i cry about everything all the time um i was on a date one time i've told

00:10:32.460 the story before but i was on a date one time with this guy and i said i was a big crier and he was

00:10:35.400 like oh yeah i cry a lot too and i was like oh what makes you cry and he was like movies and

00:10:39.300 situations right and that was kind of where i was at the kind of the silence and i was like i said

00:10:44.340 i said buddy everything's a situation so like just general things but honestly and i think about it

00:10:48.740 every day and it rings so true because i also be crying in situations yeah movies and situations

00:10:52.400 movies and situations that tends to do it for me i literally cry about everything i cry yeah i cry i

00:10:56.580 think i cried watching back to the future probably like you think i'll at this point i mean the second

00:11:01.200 one when he when he goes to the grave no spoilers 40 year old um when he goes to the graveyard i

00:11:07.020 definitely cried about that the before trilogy will make me cry that's like those are like

00:11:10.540 beautiful it's like a beautiful romantic drama but like this is just an ad for the back to the future

00:11:15.160 well but i um but yeah i cry i cry at music too one time i cried so hard to a song while i was

00:11:22.240 driving that i couldn't see i had to pull over right it was the cause by tommy lafroy by the way

00:11:26.440 great song tea it's not even that sad of a song what's the silliest piece of advice you've gotten

00:11:33.240 the silliest this the silliest this guy came up to me and he was like you shouldn't say you know

00:11:40.440 what i mean because they don't know what you mean damn you said well that's okay a semantic sammy

00:11:52.680 semantic sammy what because some people i don't want to name names don't know what you mean and it's him

00:12:02.080 because i was like yeah i came up in the club looking cute you know what i mean

00:12:08.020 we don't know what you mean

00:12:10.160 hey buddy it's just a figure of speech

00:12:13.680 hello

00:12:14.240 like so the crowd doesn't know like if you say you know and they and they think they're helping

00:12:20.360 yeah

00:12:20.660 what do you typically say when you get uh oh i'm so i'm so sweet so passive so sweet

00:12:28.420 oh grace you say thank you thank you i didn't think about that oh

00:12:35.360 oh you turn into an anime girl yeah yeah yeah gosh

00:12:42.000 you're like yeah you're right

00:12:45.580 i'd never see them again i just went on a gay cruise like for like oh my gosh tell me about

00:12:51.880 the gay cruise i thought your story there was one other woman that should have been on that ship it

00:12:55.520 was you i actually and your mom maybe even your mom more than you i um also the love that i have

00:13:03.600 for your mom it just knows no bounds i was on this gay cruise i got asked to do it like three days

00:13:09.180 before they were like do you have a show and i'm like put on a show and i couldn't do the the one

00:13:13.700 from edinburgh because um it had a huge set and all these like moving things so i had a bright a new

00:13:19.740 one and so i read it so i i'm telling you the procrastination honey i'm on that ship like like

00:13:25.440 with note cards and and they gave me the the mama mia dancers from the ship that were already on there

00:13:30.840 i picked four of the hottest british ones i said get back there put them in amazon sailor outfits

00:13:36.700 i had a little u.s navy outfit that would really shake things up um and and i went out the my

00:13:43.960 opening song was called for the gays from death becomes her the musical and i was like i'd do

00:13:48.520 anything for the gays and but it was really funny too because they came on like um on the loudspeaker

00:13:56.300 the day of my show and they're like hey everyone this girl's really been through it um we kind of

00:14:02.500 you know us g's haven't been showing up for the t's so well so if everyone could you know funnel

00:14:08.340 their way to the orchid theater like that would be great i'm like she needs it like who are they

00:14:12.720 talking about um and like please she needs it it was so insane and then there there was like there

00:14:19.440 was like two other gals there i think one was probably a trumper because she looked at me like i

00:14:24.500 was the antichrist love and i get it i was on her you know soil like i was on her turf like she was

00:14:30.620 there first but then also um then there was another woman who had just like triple z tits

00:14:35.220 in the craziest way that i loved and she was nice to me yes but then otherwise it was these i thought

00:14:40.120 i was gonna get swarmed but these men i was a ghost i was on the queen elizabeth the haunted ship

00:14:46.580 because they did not see me they didn't want to talk to me because they're there to meet other

00:14:52.140 eligible bachelors and that's not me right very gender affirming i will i'll say if you were a

00:14:57.580 trans woman and you want to feel like a woman go on a gay cruise that is what we should be

00:15:05.200 prescribing you said i've never been more don't take our hormones away but also insurance should

00:15:10.120 be covering gay cruises for the dolls have you ever had like a a weird or embarrassing carpet

00:15:15.120 experience i wouldn't really say this was weird or embarrassing but um fuck am i really gonna forget

00:15:22.960 her name okay cut the silence for me was she in something or keep the silence um okay not jamie lee

00:15:35.820 curtis but you're like identical to me who's a similar who's a similar like old woman old

00:15:47.620 yes and short hair perhaps jane lynch jane lynch thank you video village you meant to say it's

00:15:55.100 to sylvester right exactly thank you so much whoever that was is that looking up into the

00:16:00.800 clouds like it was god thank you angels and who says god isn't real exactly okay i am on the daily

00:16:09.380 show and i saw that that's fucking awesome thank you it's very cool yeah and we got an emmy for the

00:16:15.700 show this so exciting so do i personally own an emmy no i don't but but i'm on a show that does

00:16:22.660 anyways i gotta go on stage and then you leave stage um i gave a really long speech longer than

00:16:30.980 adrian brody's um it was about seven and a half minutes i gotta say nothing you leave stage and then

00:16:39.600 there's all this like press backstage that you have to like sort through like little you know penguins

00:16:45.180 and um and then you finally finish it it takes like 45 minutes yeah and i literally was like

00:16:51.580 the dumbass who was like we're missing the show

00:16:53.740 like they're like oh come over here vogue wants to say hi to john stewart and i'm like

00:16:59.620 like oh geez i'm like they're about to announce another thing anyway um we're leaving and um finally

00:17:11.180 about to go back on stage and jane lynch looks right at me and goes congratulations i said nothing

00:17:17.040 back i literally was like hey that's sick though and just kept walking i was like this is fucked up

00:17:26.340 that was the coolest thing that i that's i wish i could have just gone jane god babe i love you look good

00:17:33.420 but nothing came out of my mouth right i i just fully me too myself i'm like whoa jane

00:17:41.040 i had nothing i couldn't even say thank you right words escaped you at that moment because then now i

00:17:50.200 have to wonder to myself does jane lynch know who i am yeah that that was she saying thank you to

00:17:56.160 every or congrats to everyone one of the biggest reasons why i got why i got out of being religious

00:17:59.880 is because like the idea of eternal life that's a curse i agree i have to do some version of this

00:18:07.680 for all like let's imagine let's imagine that i die right and i go to heaven and i'm looking down at

00:18:13.800 my nephew and my if i have kids that's interesting i'm looking at my kids and my nephew i'm watching

00:18:18.920 over them okay they have kids my grandkids that's kind of interesting okay they're kids i don't know

00:18:26.160 these niggas i don't want to watch we're on season three i don't want to watch anymore

00:18:31.820 you said it's just kind of the same stuff over and over again you've gone off the rails i don't

00:18:36.600 want to watch you all they were like i know my my grandma's watching down to me leave that woman

00:18:43.740 alone let her rest hasn't she done enough in her life now she's watching you

00:18:50.280 it sounds horrible i want to rest i want to be done i want to just i want the you know where the

00:18:58.480 tv i want that do you want to be reincarnated at all no as anything you think the earth's getting

00:19:03.600 better i don't want to maybe go into another universe maybe yeah another universe would be

00:19:07.740 cool i've dated a lot of twins somehow i don't know what i'm attracting but i've dated a lot of twins

00:19:12.380 that sounds kind of scary it can be like like i feel like twins when they get to a certain age it's

00:19:18.020 like okay enough no more i you're no longer a twin i couldn't agree more being a twin is for

00:19:25.640 children and at this point you're 25 and it's perverted

00:19:30.020 and you're creepy and weird yeah so knock it off and if you ever were the fucking same thing in front

00:19:36.980 of me i'll have you arrested i don't care yeah i believe i hate the cops i believe in the police

00:19:45.040 again for that just for twins yeah a tab that is crazy all twins are bad that's great that's great

00:19:54.400 that's crazy that you've just so happened to date twins i i'm more more than once more than once

00:20:02.340 is crazy i yeah i i guess i'm problematic were they identical yeah that's uncomfortable

00:20:11.520 imagine you're mad at them and then their their sibling comes and you're like

00:20:14.700 there yeah there's a lot of stuff i will tell you when we're not rolling

00:20:19.720 i did a job once and um i was wearing a wig and fine i'll say it okay it was yellow jackets

00:20:26.540 and they were like it was for the pilot and the girl was like she's like i think i just need to cut

00:20:32.320 off your dead ends because you've got really bad dead ends and i was like okay thank you

00:20:36.760 yeah i actually thought my hair looked good she like gave me a bob like i went from like long hair

00:20:43.500 to like bob and i was like she said just a little off the top yes and then she goes she goes did you

00:20:48.700 want bangs and i was like i'm trying to grow them out i look in the mirror they're like super short i

00:20:53.180 was like she cut my bangs and i was like oh hey i'd be mad yeah and then she was like and then i was

00:20:58.360 like so just to clarify i'm wearing a wig in the show right and she's like right and i was like

00:21:02.080 yeah i was just practicing she literally was like she was like you're welcome i was like

00:21:07.600 okay she goes yeah i don't even work here so i'm actually not sure honestly i wouldn't have been

00:21:13.040 surprised would not have been surprised i was really shocked it was okay it's so funny because

00:21:19.040 i was talking about you advocating for yourself and you said just to give me a new hairdo

00:21:22.180 i was like oh and meanwhile i said thank you like i did i left with a smile on my face

00:21:27.800 they're like i'm wearing a wig though right she goes yeah yeah i was like okay no i yeah i'm not

00:21:33.300 i'm working on it i'm working on it younger me was better advocating for myself i'm working on it

00:21:38.640 again so i went in my room

00:21:40.220 and i'm like i'm gonna find these people and i looked up the email address i found a world of

00:21:47.060 wonder at dot net yeah so i just wrote some random at that email to who it may concern i am tired of

00:21:54.460 these fat girls getting on your show crying about being fat i'm large in charge i did i was talking

00:22:00.020 shit i'm large in charge chugging up bucket i can show you better than i can tell you here's my

00:22:04.280 picture my phone number give a bitch a call i didn't know they were casting girl

00:22:08.900 you just wrote hate mail i just wrote hate mail

00:22:12.240 because i was mad talking shit i was mad and uh and they called me two days later talking about

00:22:18.460 we loved your email

00:22:19.900 that's so funny yo oh i was like you forgetting you sent it completely in a rage in a rage and

00:22:30.360 didn't think nothing else about it and they called me talking about we loved your email we want you to

00:22:34.840 get your tape in like asap we want to push you through they said get that girl in my office that

00:22:40.500 part i was like she's gonna be a star i wrote them on a tuesday

00:22:45.380 they wrote me called me on thursday damn and they wanted my tape in by monday

00:22:52.140 shit okay i was like girl i got bookings all weekend i am busy i ain't got time for this

00:22:58.000 yeah and she was like don't worry about making it pretty just answer the prompts and show us your

00:23:03.040 closet and send it yeah they just want to see you your personality and baby there was one old tape

00:23:09.540 rupaul remembers my tape very very vividly because is that a good thing or a bad thing it was horrible

00:23:15.560 girl all you saw was teeth and eyes because it was dark because i did my whole tape on a yahoo webcam

00:23:21.260 bitch like i'm telling you it ain't about all the production value it's just about you

00:23:28.640 you don't know the fights i fought

00:23:30.520 so yeah but they they love my tape and then i got on my first try and i wasn't even trying i was just

00:23:40.980 talking shit

00:23:41.600 necking in general is so wild like when la opened up and that day that it opened up i was in high tops

00:23:49.260 and we ho and they have some bomb salads at high tops and we home i will say it's random but they do

00:23:55.760 and i was eating this buffalo chicken salad standing up it was packed because la had just

00:23:59.320 opened and this guy comes up to hit on me and his opening line though was um wow you really don't

00:24:04.040 eat that salad confidently and i was like okay new insecurity just dropped like what i was like i

00:24:10.440 didn't even know there was a right way to eat salad like let alone that i wasn't doing it confidently

00:24:15.460 and then he proceeded to try and hit on me and i was like no like you started off on i thought you

00:24:20.940 were bullying me crazy place and like it was so it's so wild like and i'm sure like you know

00:24:27.000 exactly what i know i'm talking about yeah men nagging yeah and i don't know why people think that

00:24:31.620 this is a viable plan i know what's what's the plan after you to talk to them yeah if i end up

00:24:38.080 standing here longer what happens after no you just hurt my feelings i don't want to talk to you

00:24:43.400 anymore hey fuck you and then sometimes i watch movies that come out now and i'm like i could do

00:24:51.980 that yes well that that is the worst part of this whole industry it's like first of all i haven't

00:24:58.260 even got an audition it's not even oh i didn't get that they were like we don't need to hear and you

00:25:02.680 see this commercial that's just you're like why yeah why was i not allowed to audition for husky girl

00:25:09.580 with bangs in trident commercial i wasn't even good enough to be seen for that i'm classically

00:25:15.360 trained i have a bfn from nyu i wasn't allowed to audition for husky girl with bangs and trident

00:25:19.300 commercial like it feels very crazy and we have friends now who will they'll see a casting that

00:25:24.800 they're not invited to do and for example it'll be like we want a jordan myrick type but jordan's

00:25:29.940 not been asked i was not asked to audition i was not called in for the audition but they're

00:25:33.920 looking for someone that does and it's like so yeah it's really warped and weird and it's like all of

00:25:38.320 this without you yes put it on someone else really hurtful really hurtful yeah and then they

00:25:44.820 always cast a model it's always a model it's always a model and there's this woman at my gym and she

00:25:51.380 every time she sees me this is like the fourth time that she's done it she's like

00:25:55.640 i know you probably hate your hair i know you probably hate it but i love it she's like no i think

00:26:04.460 it is so cute it is so cute i know you really probably hate it i'm like wait i'm actually

00:26:10.980 this is like i want my hair to look like this i'm like wait uh and i'm like oh you're i've actually

00:26:16.880 never felt more confident about me yeah i'm like actually wait i really like you right now i'm like

00:26:21.540 wait should i shave it off again like i don't know so i'm like oh you hate your hair this is like i'm

00:26:26.100 not this is like the third or fourth time she's done this like i see her like multiple times like

00:26:30.020 the first time it was like your hair is so cute your little curls and then it like progressively

00:26:33.640 got like more and more like like now i feel like she's gonna be like your hair i know you

00:26:38.300 cannot fucking stand it like i feel like it's just gonna get worse every time i see this woman

00:26:43.160 so here she comes ugly haircut girl

00:26:45.500 i'm like what the what did i do but it's it's like and i don't even know how to respond in that

00:26:52.700 moment because she's so she's genuinely so nice like i really don't think she realized they're not

00:26:56.920 meaning to be rude i'm like you know what girl yeah i love my fuck ass haircut i guess you know

00:27:00.900 whatever like yeah you're right you're right some lenses i'm like you hate me oh 100 by the way some

00:27:07.660 friends lenses a friend just took a picture of me he was like oh and i want to take some press

00:27:11.740 photos of you i was like this is a free press great delete i'm not kidding and block i'm not kidding

00:27:18.320 blocky was a friend i couldn't believe the photos he took how rude no seriously they're really

00:27:23.520 offensive i i don't know i don't know what he thought what he thought i was are you mad at me

00:27:29.600 or something literally i did something to your mother i don't know what i did though i'm trying

00:27:34.060 to figure it was so rude i know there's some pictures like some lenses i'm like oh man i

00:27:39.420 probably look terrible and then when i watch it back i'm like oh my god i look stunning totally and

00:27:43.160 then some i'm like i felt so good that day and i watch it back and i'm like oh my god you guys just

00:27:47.900 let me leave the house looking like that totally oh jesus christ it's so mean and then there's the

00:27:53.140 worst which is when a friend takes a photo of you yeah sends it to you and it's already face tuned

00:27:57.840 and you're like wait what you're like you really think i need it can i see the original

00:28:02.840 you're like i looked at that why do i look like why do it it's like a face app i'm like kiss two

00:28:10.320 i'm like hollywood four i'm like looking like insane it's that bold glam totally totally totally i'm

00:28:16.200 like i have eyelashes to the seal i'm like i don't think i have my eyelashes in today like why did

00:28:20.520 you put them on me it's really offensive i used to work a front desk at a hotel i think a lot of

00:28:25.320 people don't know that by me but i was working you were like a front desk girl at just a regular

00:28:30.500 like a regular hotel chain hotel it was literally i was there from 7 a.m to 11 p.m and at 11 30 when

00:28:37.160 i got home i would that camera was out and you're crazy yeah i was literally suffering what was

00:28:42.980 what was your other job you so you're working at the hotel yeah it was just two front desk hotel

00:28:46.800 jobs and damn you're just bouncing between them yeah i was just bouncing between them like girl i

00:28:50.880 had to get my money up somehow and that was look at you yeah for sure well and that's that's a

00:28:55.200 testament too to wanting to make this work also which i've also told people i've i've mentioned

00:28:59.860 before that like nothing's gonna stop you if you really want to do it no matter how busy you are

00:29:06.240 you're gonna make something yeah you're gonna make it shake for sure we need to talk let's about

00:29:10.960 where we are right now okay we are at the spotify offices okay now tell me why there's 17 addresses

00:29:17.440 i'm getting emails going hey you're going to to this building but you're gonna want to put in this

00:29:21.320 building if you're ubering these are the train so then i go i show up at one office building it's

00:29:25.160 not the right office building man turns me away then i go to what's an h&m i end up at an h&m i'm in

00:29:30.760 a shopping center you're listening to house music i'm listening to house music at h&m with the thin

00:29:34.860 people i am in a museum of thin people right at h&m then i have to speak with a police officer

00:29:40.300 i went up to a member of the nypd and shout out and that's how you know it's bad that's when you

00:29:45.080 know things are bad if i'm talking to the cops something has gone wrong and i said hey i'm

00:29:50.080 looking for spotify he said oh yeah classic then he sends me around the corner i go up to the welcome

00:29:54.320 desk i go hey guy shakes my hand i go okay i go hell yeah hey sir i'm going to spotify he goes they

00:29:59.420 have their own desk i go of course they do i go to the spotify desk i do a retina scan i give my

00:30:07.240 pronouns they made me give my pronouns i give my pronouns my political affiliation my social

00:30:12.580 they take a picture of me on three little cameras they send me to an elevator where i'm not allowed

00:30:16.260 to press the buttons do they ask if you're an organ donor basically and they insist and then they send

00:30:20.440 me up and the elevator sends me up i don't get to push buttons then i get to spotify i have to give

00:30:24.180 my pronouns again i get my pronouns to people working a desk i'm ripping jokes to them i said you guys run

00:30:29.120 this shit like the navy huh i said this is fucking ridiculous it's a treasure map weapons it's a treasure

00:30:34.360 map yeah one of the one of the people working here god love them i go i go god you guys run this

00:30:38.700 like fucking fort knox and she goes yeah it's the world trade center

00:30:41.860 and you said i went hey my bad hey my bad actually that's me not reading the room how quickly we forget

00:30:49.860 oh it's never forget until they said the world trade thing i said he him my bad he him

00:30:57.060 just just he him thank you and you said and i'm also gay so careful what you say now i said he

00:31:02.040 him homosexual thank you i turned my i changed my tune real quick what would you say is the most

00:31:07.340 randomly but fucking cool moment you've had since uh going through this last year um where you're

00:31:14.560 like that is crazy and so awesome i can't wait to tell someone i mean it i met the pope did you really

00:31:22.480 i literally the old one like i literally yeah the one that just passed over yes yes yes rest his god

00:31:31.480 what is it may god rest his soul um that's crazy crazy answer oh the pope probably yeah probably yeah

00:31:39.860 like i went to his house what the fuck are you doing at pope francis's house is that his name

00:31:45.920 i don't even know yeah getting nervous like i'm catholic i'm not yeah like i sat with him

00:31:51.660 for an hour damn what were you guys keying about i mean and we were talking about the the importance

00:32:00.880 of um cultural change for queer and trans people particularly in families okay and and i we know

00:32:10.000 that the catholic church does have an impact in a lot of people's families yeah no matter how you feel

00:32:17.180 about the the catholic church rightfully so myself included yeah um i i did say yes to the invitation

00:32:24.780 yeah to go speak with him um and to show him what it looks like when a trans woman is loved

00:32:32.120 yeah and uplifted and accepted and celebrated um and accomplished you're so fucking cool what the

00:32:41.660 fuck she's like well yeah obviously i went to the pope yeah yeah what the fuck bitch what are you

00:32:47.900 talking about yeah it was damn i'm over here telling men to suck my wiener and that's what you're doing

00:32:52.140 yeah no but thanks to thanks to glad glad um organized that trip that is so fucking crazy yeah

00:32:59.980 yeah yeah i'd list that too too true said a lot you're too true said a lie is gonna go crazy

00:33:04.640 i've sat with pope francis and talked about trans words um i hate broccoli and i love the color

00:33:10.800 wait okay you once ran a half marathon and then performed in two broadway shows correct same day

00:33:16.440 that's right so that's where we circle back to american ninja warrior that's you that's a half marathon

00:33:21.780 and two shows yes i had made like this is a pattern i made a promise to myself that if i finished the

00:33:29.420 race in time to get ready for the two shows i would go and do the two shows and i finished in time i

00:33:34.340 think it was like an hour and 30 something um minutes and it was still early so i went home

00:33:40.460 had a shower got ready and went to do the two shows you're insane you're actually you're like

00:33:45.440 that was an insane moment the way you're like saying how you motivate yourself it sounds like you know

00:33:51.320 when you have little kids you're like let's see how fast you can go get my water

00:33:54.040 10 9 8 you're like okay if i can do this in 10 minutes you denzel washington in the equalizer

00:34:00.020 four minutes clock it clock it yeah that's so crazy how was the half marathon it was actually it was

00:34:05.720 really fun yeah um doing the first show because i had never done a half marathon before yeah i had

00:34:13.120 trained for it and i but i had never done it competitively your body does a different thing

00:34:17.140 when it's competing yeah it like flushes your system with adrenaline oh yeah and you're you

00:34:23.000 don't realize how fast you're moving yeah like too fast out of your pace you move much faster

00:34:27.880 than you would if you were just training so i had moved a lot faster which meant that my body had to

00:34:33.200 do much more recovery and it starts immediately the moment you stop your body goes oh thank you and

00:34:40.340 starts to cool down the muscles start to tighten up and the first thing i do in the show is get down on my

00:34:45.760 knees i remember going oh how am i gonna get up oh my god you've been stuck that would be crazy

00:34:56.360 and i'm playing at this point a 14 year old i was like i have no spring in my step i can't get up

00:35:03.180 and there was a step behind me and i remember having to try to use the step to get up because my

00:35:09.020 knees and my thighs had seized up underneath me it was crazy oh my god so running the race lovely

00:35:17.000 after the race something else something else entirely that being said i did finish both

00:35:21.900 did finish and you're all and um got a standing ovation absolutely all times but it's neither here

00:35:25.700 nor there people have not changed they're still crazy yeah we're just getting a little bit of a

00:35:31.620 different type of crazy i agree or people are just getting more like i feel like

00:35:35.300 and maybe you agree with this with this new scary era this newer scary era because many many of them

00:35:42.440 have been scaras yeah for a minute um i feel like now more than ever is the time to experience joy

00:35:48.500 yeah like because it's almost like well the world's ending yeah what else are we gonna do no 100 i've

00:35:55.080 also i think i'm done i'm done changing people's minds for real i'm like if you want to come

00:36:00.680 onto my platform giggle laugh maybe start to change the way that you see things on your own

00:36:06.640 right we can kiki all day sweetheart if you expect me to do more work right honey we've put in the work

00:36:13.880 yeah i've done as much as i can do and i genuinely think to my core there at this point we've just seen

00:36:18.840 people there are people who don't want to change you laugh i'm gonna laugh for real i'm still gonna

00:36:22.640 be prettier than you and and that's fine that's our we just have to say we just have to say it out

00:36:27.700 loud that's just stop denying we all need to come to terms with it it'll be a lot easier yes uh thank

00:36:33.680 you i don't like any sea creatures really like they all kind of scare me hate birds they scare me

00:36:39.180 oh yeah yeah yeah birds are like have you ever seen that thing about how they say crows remember faces

00:36:43.780 like crows have like facial recognition could that be the government who knows but that's true

00:36:49.320 yeah they're the first drones yeah yeah just like pigeons and i've seen and what's sad about

00:36:55.800 pigeons is they were first like grown to be eaten right and then they got out of control right we're

00:37:01.320 like oh shoot when you like breed uh food that flies yeah it's hard to catch them right and control

00:37:08.240 them they didn't think about that no they didn't they're like oh shoot so then they were like let's try

00:37:12.600 to make them send mail right that's the second part i know way too much about pigeons by the way

00:37:18.640 i didn't really have human friends until maybe like 10 so pigeons i've hung out with a lot of

00:37:24.240 pigeons are yeah real close so i'm trying not to act offended that you're you're like afraid of

00:37:28.780 afraid of my family actually that's your family that's your kin my bad that was my first chosen

00:37:36.540 family but whatever crows though crows do because i've seen crows follow people right and peck at them

00:37:44.400 yeah and they remember if you're like mean to them if you harm like a crow like they memorize

00:37:48.980 your face so they'll come and look for you later on and that you know what like you shouldn't be

00:37:53.720 harming a crow though i know i mean that's what they get that's karma i'm just saying that's kind of

00:37:58.380 shocking yeah to find out birds can do that a person should be taken down if they have enough strength

00:38:03.520 and like high to her uh crow because crows fly right that is a person dangerous to humans too

00:38:10.860 take them down take them down i agree that's actually such a good point when i take back

00:38:15.760 what i said about your chosen family i'm sorry about that okay andrew's next fun fact uh it says

00:38:20.040 you were a financial intern for congress oh no i was hoping to god i'd hear those girl what are you

00:38:28.600 doing in congress no that was really it was such a interesting time in my life even just like the

00:38:37.280 idea of being a finance major was a lot um at the time well yes well correct um yeah i i decided to

00:38:45.860 take an unpaid internship a senior year of college i went to school in baltimore so i still had to take

00:38:51.260 the train every day or um twice a week and yeah i was working on the financial services committee i was

00:38:57.340 just sitting in on their meetings and i was like not absorbing anything taking notes literally taking

00:39:05.440 notes and would have to like brief different congress people on like what was being said if

00:39:09.360 they had to miss the the hearing and i'm like i'm not so just like a meeting attender yeah i was

00:39:14.060 i was literally a meeting attender and then i was also like working for different people in congress

00:39:18.820 just like answering phones and just like getting screamed at the people are screaming about and i'm

00:39:24.320 writing this is the thing all right you want to talk about the government i don't but let's talk

00:39:28.720 about the government i'm the one i was the one that was writing the letters back to people i was

00:39:33.580 formatting these things people were calling me about their taxes i had to be emailing them like i'm so

00:39:39.520 sorry to hear that that's how you feel about your taxes like the the congress person the congress

00:39:44.420 people didn't even know yeah and they don't fell on a 21 year old that wasn't being paid a 21 year

00:39:49.120 old twink twink no a 21 year old twink in a suit all right on grinder no grinder on office hours no

00:39:59.220 i probably i bet there was a ton of hits in fucking congress oh absolutely and no because you know

00:40:06.760 what they wouldn't be showing face they would be dl that's torso torso torso torso and suit i think it

00:40:14.120 would be yeah for sure yeah but yeah i worked in congress who's to say who yeah who's to say what

00:40:22.340 what could have happened yeah i thought that was my big break talking about big breaks this one says

00:40:28.600 that erica's dream man is joe jonas yes not true scott is you know it changes sometimes it changes

00:40:40.360 like right now no you know a couple months ago yeah you know it just and that's not good for me

00:40:46.220 because if it changes often what about me yeah he's like well i can't grow my hair back that fast

00:40:53.060 yeah i can't sing right here i can't play guitar and i don't have any brothers so

00:40:57.320 so i'm kind of oh for three

00:41:00.580 have you met the jonas brothers i have me too how was it how was your vibe

00:41:06.720 no it was cool it was it was cool we'll talk about it for real after but it was

00:41:10.960 we will for sure talk about it for real it was it was cool they were really nice

00:41:21.700 the groups of i guess they're not people the groups of organisms that i appeal to most i think

00:41:27.700 are animals and babies well i guess babies are people um but they are almost people almost yeah

00:41:33.640 but like i feel like there's something that just something about your spirit that surprises

00:41:40.440 they're like like babies will see me and they're like like like perplexed um which i think is

00:41:47.580 partially like the hair area it's just a lot just the just the vibe yeah oh that's good though what's

00:41:53.180 your do you love animals do you like animals i love animals what's your favorite animal my cat cooper

00:41:57.540 oh what a great answer what kind of cat uh he's just a little guy he's he's a fucking guy i don't

00:42:03.900 know he's a siberian so he's a big fluffy guy but yeah it's like yeah i i'm getting better with

00:42:11.900 people but like babies and babies and animals i'm like that's what you're vibing with i'm in the

00:42:16.320 pocket they love me yeah yeah but growing up we did they didn't have words for add because i was

00:42:23.140 like a girl so they were just like she's nuts you know and they my mom but even she cared so much

00:42:28.160 because my sister like can just like hyper focus in a book like we could be there's this one horrible

00:42:32.480 family member we have we're in like a car it's like this big family fight i won't tell details

00:42:35.740 love you mom um but basically like i'm crying my mom and dad are yelling i look over at candace

00:42:41.500 locked in just in a book just literally like flipping pages can't even hear us and at that moment i was

00:42:47.100 just like it's just unfair you know it must be so nice i know i don't have that so they put me in

00:42:50.740 like reading class where i was like my mom paid money for me to go to a class that every single

00:42:55.800 week their one thing was put your finger under the line and i go i'm here for hours and that's

00:43:00.780 all you're teaching me can you imagine did i learn i learned that i hate you know what i learned from

00:43:05.280 that class i fucking hate reading and then i learned that but i love reading now now i love reading because

00:43:11.600 reading is listening and walking around and cleaning and and you know what that is reading do you sit

00:43:15.440 down to read yeah you're reading i have a kindle i'm jealous of it i love it i do love books now i

00:43:20.480 really really do oh that's good i'm so glad what can you tell about a certain drink are there any

00:43:24.240 drinks when you're like oh yeah of course you drink that it's more like i i would say it's less it was

00:43:31.020 less like what drink you had and like how you ordered it okay yeah it's like ordering a ordering

00:43:38.540 a dirty martini is not like bad yeah and like doesn't really say much about you but someone being

00:43:44.320 like give me the fucking nastiest martini you've ever fucking made in your life is like what are you

00:43:48.540 trying to prove do you know what i mean like there's something like you could tell when someone

00:43:51.620 because like dirty martinis i think i don't know if it happened over here but like that was like a big

00:43:54.600 thing in new york like right towards the end of my bartending and people were obsessed with being

00:43:57.920 like being like can you take a fucking shit in my martini like you know like just running yeah like

00:44:02.700 as many olives as you can give me and being like down girl like stop you know what i mean chill or like

00:44:07.640 like men be like just being like old-fashioned and it's like that there's like a certain like

00:44:13.780 performance to it it was more about like how you would perform the order than it was an actual

00:44:16.820 drink that's tea i like i would love so hard for like some guy walk up and be like pinot grigio

00:44:21.740 like you know like that would be so like yeah i love a pinot i had somebody tell me the other day i

00:44:27.440 saw this post and they said that lesbian women need the relationship that straight women have with gay

00:44:34.560 men like we need to have that with straight men sign me up for a war take me anywhere else

00:44:40.500 take like um i disagree women women are still with men and somehow we get put with men now

00:44:46.980 they're like well you guys have a lot in common you go over there no i think men need less friends

00:44:53.080 and more time out i think they need to be putting time out in a corner yeah somewhere just go go

00:44:59.600 stand there think about your decisions think about your choices there's they say male loneliness right

00:45:05.240 i'm like there's not enough of it we need a lot more seclusion and we need a few islands

00:45:10.020 that's like that joke i saw a meme where it said men suffer in silence and quotes and then it said

00:45:15.880 then why am i always hearing about right which i that's one of those jokes where i'm like fuck i

00:45:20.100 should have made fun of i should have made that one and also when in front of me about what what are

00:45:23.980 they going through tell me one thing ever it says you got your first script deal by pretending to be a

00:45:29.500 courier sent to deliver a script to the president of hbo yes it wasn't it wasn't a script deal it was an

00:45:35.180 option deal which is their option to sell it for a deal i got like a thousand dollars for it but

00:45:40.660 basically i would just print my script that worked for free um and they had all good supplies at work

00:45:46.960 because i was i was a an accountant well they gave you the free laptop they have free laptop full full

00:45:53.300 supply room i'm talking highlighters pads different types envelopes stapler stapler you know just just

00:46:01.220 like all the good stuff right so i printed it and i just looked up like who makes two because again i

00:46:07.520 knew nothing about standard this is like before i'd seen much i haven't even gone down like the dive

00:46:12.620 i was like oh people who had shows uh were stand-ups and they wrote so i should have a show

00:46:19.300 like this is all my math i honestly envy it i think you got a great mindset thank you i was like i could

00:46:26.360 just i could just do it yeah and i had stories so i wrote it i printed it i put it in envelopes and i

00:46:32.840 just like went to these offices i had no you know i just said oh the president asked you know to read it

00:46:39.340 and they would be like there's no president like i'm just a courier i don't know so you're gonna

00:46:42.540 and so they would i guess get it to the office in some way and i guess um you know whoever was

00:46:48.440 tasked with reading you know one of my uh my thing got some recognition to the point of getting an

00:46:55.240 option you're literally a genius yeah which didn't go anywhere but what it did get me was

00:46:59.560 representation like actually into the business a little bit absolutely especially if you're just

00:47:04.040 pretending to be your own delivery person yeah i'm just like well i don't know whoever runs you

00:47:08.220 know i had i didn't look into the company i literally just looked up like i googled the address like

00:47:12.080 i didn't know you know anything more than the building that it was in like i would

00:47:17.780 i'm talking to the security desk i think you're my hero dude yeah i really do

00:47:23.020 i just really i genuinely admire that you're just like what am i like it's fucking hard

00:47:29.420 just fucking walk in there no i thought it was in i i didn't think it was but i was like how else do

00:47:34.560 you mail these places like there's no way to like mail it like i was just thinking logistically

00:47:40.900 right so it's in the envelope i'll just bring it there no that you're literally that's why i said

00:47:47.120 you're a genius like i'd never thought about something like that yeah and then um yeah and

00:47:52.100 now you know a million terrible people will you don't have it save yourself some time

00:47:56.980 very true that's actually very good advice please take that yeah honestly save your life save yourself

00:48:04.680 some time i think that whenever uh people have critiques about comics like long-standing comics

00:48:10.740 in the sense of saying like they're not funny i'm always like well i mean i think i'm kind of funny

00:48:16.700 no exactly there's a little bit of validity to it no exactly but in this case it's like you guys

00:48:22.360 didn't think if you're thinking of it because you heard it from me you didn't think of it so you

00:48:26.000 already don't have it that's true you know i mean it's already you're starting on original

00:48:30.420 yeah so then just out the gate so don't worry about it yeah just stop there you realized you

00:48:37.400 were gay when you were 25 while watching a lifetime movie yeah that's right which lifetime movie was it

00:48:42.720 the truth about jane i don't know if you've ever heard of it it's uh it's stalker channing who plays

00:48:49.660 rizzo in greece okay uh was the mom and her like 16 year old daughter realizes she's gay and has a

00:48:57.000 mentor at school a teacher who's gay um and as i described it uh the the 16 year old comes out to

00:49:04.800 her mom and her mom's like boo and then by the end of the movie she's like yay and i was like and that's

00:49:11.100 the movie um but i had had you know it was weird it was i i talk about how it was just different times

00:49:18.240 when i was 25 it was like youtube was just starting and yeah there was no will and grace

00:49:23.760 or maybe it just come out um the l word had just come out like but when i was growing up there was

00:49:31.580 none of that stuff you know none of that uh representation so i never like saw myself in

00:49:38.220 anything and and i just grew up in a very small town that i did not know one gay person i did not

00:49:44.300 see a gay person hold hands till i was in college yeah um so i was just very naive to that world and

00:49:51.940 knowing what that was in myself uh and so when i moved to la it was starting to bubble up i was

00:49:58.620 starting to feel the thing and that you're kind of like fighting like this cannot be i have to i

00:50:03.340 haven't found the right man which is insane and every time you say you gag a little yeah like now it seems

00:50:09.380 like crazy that that was even a possibility right um and then i was watching that movie and just

00:50:17.280 something about seeing this person who's young being brave enough to like come out made me go

00:50:23.520 at the end of the movie i was like oh my god i'm i'm gay and i said it out loud for the first time

00:50:29.100 and it was what kind of cemented it for me of like oh this is real yeah and so my joke was you know

00:50:36.100 they say that uh having gay people in movies will make people gay and they're right and in my case

00:50:44.500 you are correct you're right okay one out of a million this in this particular case you are right

00:50:51.260 yep you're a huge fan of the percy jackson book series percy jackson saved my life

00:50:56.060 yeah i don't understand but that's my older brother but like i'm the oldest yeah and i was going through

00:51:01.500 like like my childhood wasn't the best and i'm just i opened a book in escape and i was like

00:51:05.740 if percy's battling the god of war you know what i mean we could fight this homelessness mom

00:51:11.780 and so i actually met rick riot and like this was before any content i was like i don't know like 17

00:51:18.780 and he had just came out with a book and i'm just there did you sign it even though your name's on

00:51:24.080 it already and i still have the book that's so sweet and so it's like like that like and he's

00:51:29.220 got adhd which is a big because it's like i as a kid like first of all you got foreign parents they

00:51:34.040 don't believe in that shit anyway you're just a little loud it's like i don't know i don't think

00:51:38.280 i'm just a little loud like i can't think like literally yeah and so um that was really cool because

00:51:43.800 rick rioting's son has um adhd and dyslexia so that's what he incorporated in all the demigods is

00:51:49.500 they all have this and so i was just in there and i was like it's obvious i'm the son of poseidon

00:51:53.680 i mean i have all the signs this is me like and so that got me into just so many other stories and

00:52:00.680 reading the word cringe really ruined i agree the internet i agree to be cringe is to be free

00:52:06.860 in my opinion i i think as i get older i'm like i just don't give a fuck anymore i'm gonna just be a

00:52:15.540 little creature and i'm gonna and i'm gonna be cringe because i'm passionate about things yeah

00:52:20.160 i'm like i'm i'm like very dorky and i love i love my life and i love being passionate about these

00:52:28.240 things i love music and i love art yeah and i love costumes and glam and i just fucking love it all

00:52:34.780 and i'm and i'm so like happy to be alive right now so i don't give a fuck about being cringe anymore

00:52:40.100 tea i'm gonna crawl around on all fours and bark at bitches going forward i do not care anymore

00:52:46.560 that's what chapel told me she said she wants to run around and roll around in the grass and

00:52:51.040 bark at people and yell and scream love and i was like you better do it queen yeah you better do that

00:52:56.560 shit yeah yeah i love that wait this is a little this is a little sorry i have to tell this story so i

00:53:03.260 i have a friend and she works at a nightclub and when she walks home at night so this is like 4 a.m

00:53:10.060 5 a.m she's walking home at night she has a pair of boots over her arm and when men try to talk to

00:53:17.840 her at night or she feels threatened in any way she puts the boots on her hands and she runs at them

00:53:24.560 on all fours she's a genius she's a genius tell her to trademark that that's the coolest thing i've

00:53:31.360 ever heard in my life she's a genius i love that yeah you gotta be nuts i wish i wish i could do that

00:53:37.900 online in some way like like what's the online equivalent of me just putting boots on my hands

00:53:43.320 and running at all on all fours you just tag me okay i'll run all fours towards them nothing scares

00:53:48.640 them off faster than that i just see my big ass running at you on all fours yeah exactly

00:53:53.460 yeah yeah my all fours got my boots on my hands exactly you just tag me i'll be your all four on

00:54:01.140 all fours yes i'll do that for you girl thank you yeah of course thank you well in paris like

00:54:06.020 specifically when i was there and i was hungry as a bitch like literally this bitch hungry t-shirt

00:54:11.760 like i was like this is a hungry bitch like i remember i was like oh breakfast like i'm so

00:54:20.180 excited like and literally breakfast like i was like yes like breakfast like i get to eat like

00:54:26.920 period dude they only have like a bag that i literally could crack over my head

00:54:32.140 and like literally do like my final rest and they want you to like bare mouth that shit in the street

00:54:39.340 because they don't have any places to sit so they're like oh just open your mouth unlock your

00:54:43.680 jaw like a python and bite this oh and the thing that like gagged me crazy like really had me like

00:54:50.100 okay like now y'all just playing with food like now y'all just like making shit up for real

00:54:55.180 because no shade but like butter when we think of butter and like what it's gonna do

00:55:00.340 like we need a little salt yeah yeah well that's the whole point you need like a salted butter

00:55:05.400 or it's literally just like grease like it's literally just like yeah it's kind of loyal

00:55:10.740 it's literally like milk oil like literally yeah so i literally am like fucking bitch hungry like

00:55:19.460 a baguette and like butter thank you jesus like so i like literally start spreading on the butter

00:55:25.800 take my first bite and i'm literally like no and nothing like really pisses me off more than

00:55:31.200 an unsalted butter like we need to be and i'm like that's y'all's like that's y'all's one and two

00:55:36.520 i will say i will say though they're four five six like me with like a parisian flag on like i don't

00:55:41.200 know but they're six bitch i did have a fucking like class hall like literally class that

00:55:46.940 motherfucker yeah they've nailed pastry they've nailed oh they ate that so i will say kylie was once

00:55:52.940 catfished on a dating app and while you were on the date your phone glitched and it said you were

00:55:57.720 in the middle of the ocean so leandra thought you were lost at sea that's a very long specific

00:56:04.020 where did you find that i thought we only posted that on our finsta

00:56:06.980 um i that i went on an absolutely horrifying hinge date yeah he ended up not looking anything like his

00:56:16.460 photo also if he's watching this i'm really sorry for exposing you he should be sorry for being a catfish

00:56:21.940 that is the price you pay to be a catfish it was very strange like really uncomfortable but he

00:56:26.580 wanted to go on like a walk in like our neighborhood which is not technically an ocean it's a lake yeah

00:56:32.180 but my phone did glitch we had each other's locations well you said i'm not sure about this

00:56:36.260 can you just like check my location and i said sure and then when i checked your dot was so far in

00:56:40.880 the middle of the lake i was like oh my god jordan i go freaking out this is a documentary waiting to

00:56:47.680 happen yeah i mean it definitely it was i it was so scary i never went on another hinge date again

00:56:55.140 after that was he just severely off-putting other than face i didn't i just didn't like him at all

00:57:00.780 he was like i i it sounds so bad i mentioned something about an ex-boyfriend and he was like

00:57:06.080 can we please not talk about our exes right now we're just getting to know each other i was like

00:57:10.340 i'm just mentioning something in passion shut the fuck up literally the dot is her throwing him off a

00:57:16.600 boat in the middle of the lake yeah no dead ass he's like i was busy in the middle of there i was doing

00:57:22.140 something he told me that he absolutely hated food oh bye which is just like i was like this is just

00:57:28.120 like not gonna work for us i'm like i just it was very you hate food how do you eat yeah what do you do

00:57:34.740 photosynthesis just lay in the sun and ask for the leaves to give you the nutrients

00:57:40.920 he's actually he's a plant yeah no dead ass like literally that's so yeah off it was like one of

00:57:48.280 those off-putting dates very off-putting and i've never actually texted someone he asked me to hang

00:57:52.800 out again and i i didn't even just straight up ghost him i texted him and said i don't think that

00:57:56.640 we should ever see you he said it was so bad that i said i don't want to ever see you yeah i need

00:58:02.740 i needed to make it clear i don't ever want to see you again absolutely well good friends good

00:58:08.440 friends check and make sure you're not in the middle of the lake yeah thanks lee i'm gonna be

00:58:12.340 so honest grace and if i saw i i don't think you would be very helpful to me if i saw you in an apple

00:58:16.440 store i wasn't well i was selling oh it was sales okay i wasn't a genius okay

00:58:24.000 but one time this guy like he gave me his phone and he like just was acting like super normal about

00:58:33.660 he's like can't get in like my phone like i don't know the password is not working right gives me the

00:58:38.300 phone look at it full nude is his wallpaper like not of him like of a woman like pussy out like like

00:58:46.700 spread eagle like she's getting a wax like full yeah like she's on the beach she was on the beach

00:58:53.300 like spread everything's out pubes out okay full bush summer no no it was it was a landing

00:59:02.040 oh landing strip okay landing strip but i'm like hi like you knew you were coming in here today right

00:59:08.900 and like the whole thing was like that he couldn't get in his phone but like

00:59:11.900 a little disclaimer like ah this is a little embarrassing this is he just didn't even mention

00:59:18.480 it like i kind of just like act normal i was like okay like let me call my supervisor over

00:59:26.240 and i like wanted to like go in the back find him give him a little disclaimer but as i was walking

00:59:33.440 back we actually bumped into each other and i was and he was like very close to the guy and i was like

00:59:39.600 oh so we have to like we'd always have to be like what's your name and so i like i don't remember

00:59:44.940 his name peter i don't know i'm like peter needs some help with his phone but i didn't have time to

00:59:49.760 brief him on the wallpaper and so then i had to watch my manager like straight face like oh yeah oh my

00:59:56.680 heavens yeah but people are fucking weird like what's wrong with you fuck dude have you ever heard of

01:00:02.340 shifting uh-oh people doing shifting no is that that mormon thing no what no no no what's shifting

01:00:11.520 not i've seen it i've only seen people talk about it on tiktok which would make sense because i think

01:00:16.120 you need a certain level of brain rot in order to access it but it's literally when they close their

01:00:20.980 eyes and they like go like almost like lucid dreaming yep but they like go into the dream willingly but

01:00:28.320 they're always with like fictional characters oh fuck or like boys specifically i've only ever

01:00:33.660 seen women do it with boys okay like so they're like oh i shifted and i was i shifted and i was

01:00:39.120 dating like edward from twilight and we went to the mall together and like and they recounted like it's

01:00:46.040 like this is what i did last night when i shifted which like in my head is like that's kind of just

01:00:50.820 seems like imagination but that's okay like whatever you want to call it it's like a there there's a new

01:00:55.500 term for daydreaming yeah right yeah exactly we're calling it shifting imagining right yeah children

01:01:01.220 do it it's good to foster the whimsy is it painful a little a little bit of blood comes out of the ear

01:01:06.000 when you shift yeah they look like that what's what's her name on stranger things oh yeah 11 yeah

01:01:11.680 millie bobby yes yes who's 41 she's 41 now wow she grew up so quickly something happened they're all

01:01:22.900 older than i well my daughter basically calls it out she's terrified of me being bald like every

01:01:28.500 time i get a haircut she's like dad no don't do it and i'm like why do you think that she says because

01:01:32.680 you're already kind of bald she's like i can see it obviously i have eyes because you're looking from

01:01:36.900 my chest up you can't see you don't know what's going on back there you're too small so i'm just

01:01:40.880 like i'm just embracing it preemptively before it gets like real bad honestly i call it power

01:01:45.800 bald like my man obviously has really long hair but he told me like the second it starts to wean

01:01:52.940 even a little whole thing baking the whole head hey and then he's gonna grow the beard longer

01:01:57.300 that's what i was gonna do yeah i was like if i shave this this is about to go crazy yeah and my

01:02:02.020 dad's bald oh yeah oh you're good i've got permission from all okay you guys are setting

01:02:06.680 like family precedents yeah my dad my dad's bald he was like over it don't need it anymore

01:02:11.680 yeah my dad's bald too bald as hell exactly and bald dads are great dads my dad was in prison for

01:02:17.200 my whole life so it's fine you're still i'm sure you would have been a great dad and will be great

01:02:24.960 dad sometimes exactly he's great now like you know he's really great he's awesome i love that yeah

01:02:29.640 i have a horror story i had a little bit of ptsd when i drove over here the studio or ice audition

01:02:34.280 over here yeah i haven't been over here and i don't leave the house yeah um there's a studio over

01:02:38.660 here i auditioned for there was a huge show that sorry there was a show that was supposed to come

01:02:44.540 out this was maybe 2016 27 17 i go out for the show i'm aware of like everybody that's going out

01:02:53.540 for the show people that are working on the show it's people i knew from nickelodeon it's like i had

01:02:58.680 i had no reps at the time i dropped my whole team i was you know raw dog in this stuff and i was like

01:03:05.080 okay this is a everything checks out this is a legit production yeah i get pinned as like top two

01:03:12.040 to play the the the leads love interest now i should have fucking known because the writer

01:03:17.840 was also the director was also the lead okay okay some like weird dude from dallas i was like i

01:03:24.720 should have known then but like actor brain was like nope i have to like this is my rent yeah yeah

01:03:29.620 um make talk to top two i'm amped about it i go in for a chemistry read yeah with him with him okay

01:03:36.960 and this guy there's like there's no world in which i would play this man's love interest

01:03:42.240 like there's just there's just no it was this wasn't satirical there was just like this dude was

01:03:48.960 like three times my age it wasn't was never gonna happen but again actor brain was like just do what

01:03:56.080 you gotta do so i show up and one of my mutuals that had worked on nickelodeon was kind of like

01:04:02.880 everybody thought this was legit he's like all right we're gonna do a chemistry read i'm like okay

01:04:06.980 i have to kiss this guy i'm like yeah it's a little weird this is not usually how the chemistry reads

01:04:11.360 that's fine um and then i booked the part and i'm like oh my god i'm booked the part it's gonna shoot

01:04:16.400 in texas great awesome let me know and then he's like oh we're i'm gonna take you out and explain

01:04:23.060 ends up writing me a check for my time this was like 250 but at the time i was like 200 yeah

01:04:29.080 writes me a check come to find out maybe like two months later backstage puts out a like do not work

01:04:36.840 order with this production this guy just goes leave la gone i end up talking to like four mutual

01:04:43.140 girlfriends all of which who also booked the lead who also had to do this chemistry read who also got

01:04:50.200 a check for 250 to go oh my god yeah yeah fucking horrifying right right over on this set down and

01:04:57.880 then they're like and women have a problem did i ever tell you my tyga story

01:05:01.900 i don't think so would you like to hear yes of course i would i got invited to the post malone album

01:05:11.980 release okay before he was maga and it was this is pre-maga this was pre-maga um it was the 12

01:05:19.940 carat toothache one which i was very excited about because stony hollywood's bleeding i love those

01:05:25.680 albums i got invited i'm like oh my god so excited saw some friends there they usher us into this

01:05:31.660 building it's like a listening party and amazon is filming the whole thing it's like this immersive

01:05:36.560 like you know there's little places to sit and it's like red lights and smoke everywhere and we're

01:05:42.980 waiting around for the ship to start and i'm sitting on this block facing this way and there's another

01:05:48.120 block right there where it's facing that way tyga's sitting there and i'm like it's tyga and i'm not

01:05:56.340 necessarily impressed but i'm like that's bro yeah and i'm wearing red cowboy boots he's wearing these

01:06:03.120 really nice like ysl boots and i'm high i'm so high and i came alone by the way i just said

01:06:11.200 oh my of course and i'm sitting there and he's he's sitting there and i go like your boots slap them

01:06:19.240 i slap his wife like your boots i go i got mine on

01:06:25.680 he looks at me he goes okay twin yeah yes twin look i go yeah i got mine on he goes

01:06:34.900 look so weird and i go

01:06:38.840 oh god i fucked it up with tyga forever and now we'll never be friends

01:06:46.060 what the fuck me hi just like trying to find fellowship

01:06:49.760 seeking community seeking community with tyla oh a bitch can't see community at the post malone

01:06:55.480 release party all right don't try it yeah i guess it's illegal i'm trying to think if i've had

01:07:01.360 i'm sure well we both have talked to so many celebrities i'm sure like certain parts

01:07:05.840 it's very rare that i that we actually embarrass ourselves no never if anything it's not even i

01:07:10.560 wouldn't even consider that embarrassing i feel like that's one of those things where

01:07:13.420 i call it getting too silly like i just i got a little too silly that part's on me yeah my bad

01:07:20.040 it says you have one singular naturally red hair on your head how are you even finding these manda

01:07:27.020 that one's weird how did you find that that is i'm like this is so hilarious me me pointing that

01:07:35.340 finger because i'm like she's making me look weird but that was her who found that i did say

01:07:40.140 but i've i've probably mentioned that like one time during a stream like 10 years ago

01:07:47.100 amanda's one of those people that she was at the airport waiting for you to pick her up

01:07:51.760 how much you know about me wait that's hilarious i do i've got one natural red hair on the back of

01:08:01.880 my it's like back here somewhere but yeah um i mean i i'm half german half filipina and my dad

01:08:08.380 naturally had like blonde curly hair blue eyes so i think maybe that's where the red hair came from

01:08:14.460 i don't know but i doubt it came from your mom yeah no i it's funny because like i have naturally

01:08:20.440 uh curly hair and so people think oh it's because you're filipino and i'm like actually a lot of

01:08:24.860 filipinos i think have straight hair like my dad had a curly blonde afro yeah and so it's it's really

01:08:30.920 confusing because like when i have my natural hair it's like i feel like i don't look filipino as much

01:08:35.880 as filipinos yeah because like the because yeah the texture exactly so interesting yeah no i got

01:08:42.020 yeah one red hair that's so funny that is so funny i'm gonna find it it's like a nice party

01:08:46.720 it's been a while i just dye my hair like often so i don't know where it's been for a few years now

01:08:53.280 like is it still there i don't know your last i checked which was however long ago you said that

01:08:58.180 one fact one time and amanda found it wait that's hilarious good job amanda and you need a raise

01:09:04.140 it was top gun premiere uh they had this actual to scale plane fighter jet so you could queue to get

01:09:12.240 a picture like with the like the press pictures i'm talking a wall of paparazzi like must be 20

01:09:19.100 cameras easily so i queue up i get in line i'm it's finally my turn i go to stand in front of the

01:09:25.460 fighter jet i adjust my suit i was like it's all with my rings okay okay it's fine every single

01:09:30.760 camera turns away from me in unison turns away from me i'm like what the fuck is going on here

01:09:40.580 you guys all synced up or something all of a sudden was i not in the group text like what the fuck is

01:09:45.820 going on tom cruise has entered the carpet that selfish bastard i look over i'm like do you not

01:09:51.260 have enough tom do you don't have enough do you realize that oh yeah get another pick yeah geez

01:09:55.420 get another one i'm like right okay i literally stayed stood there whilst they're all doing it

01:10:00.260 because i think someone's eventually got to at least come back and this woman just shouts to me

01:10:05.760 she goes it's not gonna happen it's not gonna happen i said oh my right perfect okay perfect thank

01:10:15.460 you i said are the missiles working in that fighter jet strap me up right now like i was

01:10:21.080 horrified and it gets just for that i'm gonna join scientology just for that yeah i'm gonna join

01:10:26.780 scientology it's your guys's fault i can't believe it this story gets even worse because then when i

01:10:31.440 got in eventually to the premiere obviously my head hung in shame i was devastated by the events that

01:10:36.860 just occurred um i i arrived in my seat and as it starts i find that we're in a 4dx cinema oh yeah

01:10:45.440 the ones so i'm moving around and i a little little little bit of a fact about me um i get

01:10:51.500 very bad motion sickness oh yeah me too so i am currently watching a a movie about fighter jets

01:10:57.560 in the front row of a cinema in a 4dx so i'm literally like i'm being rattled around i vomit

01:11:04.900 i ran from the front row to the bathroom vomit spurted do you know when like people try to catch it

01:11:12.800 in their hands and it's like spurting out yeah so i it's like spurting out i get to the bathroom

01:11:18.140 it's it's gone everywhere it's gone everywhere i've got vomit on my trousers on my blazer i i'm

01:11:23.960 calling my boyfriend get the fuck to the bathroom now get to the bathroom he eventually comes and

01:11:28.700 we're like i said we've got to go i can't watch this film like this is this is hell like i'm like

01:11:33.560 tom tom cruise has clearly got it out for me like what does he want blood like what more can i do

01:11:39.080 for this man like so we we go to leave the cinema and i'm like right okay like at least we'll just

01:11:44.240 have to go i'll explain to everyone like i was sick like that's normal that happens at the cinema

01:11:48.400 i'm sure and as i'm leaving i go to open the door to to go out to like the main body of the cinema

01:11:53.400 and there's someone stood in front of the door tom fucking cruise

01:11:57.420 tom fuck i opened imagine you're like you i was like soaked in vomit i was like what the fuck is

01:12:06.160 going on here now tom cruise i was i was a big reader oh yeah i really faves genre you know it's

01:12:13.120 all the classic one the hardy boys you know i like the three investigators um i would actually read

01:12:19.060 my parents had the reader's digest condensed books i was like okay and i would literally hungry for

01:12:26.160 stuff to read i would like pull one down and i would go like what's it oh papillon what's this

01:12:29.980 or papillin what is that and so i read but it wasn't the whole story oh yeah the condensed version

01:12:36.240 the cliff notes yeah she's like ah damn i gotta go find this and read it for real god getting edged

01:12:42.020 by this awful the reader's digest is edging me again edging me again man you're really not beating

01:12:49.400 those nerd allegations oh no no you said i was itching to read something i have gotten to the age

01:12:54.240 i've gotten to the age where i just let it all kind of hang out it's all good it's all good see

01:12:59.700 this is what you have to look forward to i'm looking for honestly i'm there i'm already there

01:13:03.360 with you honestly that's one of the things i love about you yeah i'm like i'm real old so right there

01:13:07.900 it's all right there here i am i know the first thing honestly at this point would have been like

01:13:11.800 when you asked me what is that and i said it's electrolytes just trying to keep my hydration up

01:13:15.560 that's me getting old i love that i was i was just talking about this being practical

01:13:19.900 that too but you know and health conscious yeah like tiredness now that i'm older is just like

01:13:25.920 it'll ruin my whole fucking day yeah i don't get a really good night's good night's sleep

01:13:30.420 secret ingredient right here yeah what's in there it's vitamin c-o-f-f-e-e

01:13:35.700 sorry that is such an old man joke it's old man look do you see how i lean in on that i'm like

01:13:44.740 yeah baby and you got me oh man i yearn for that i can't wait to just be saying things

01:13:51.380 when you're older you could just say anything you could just say stuff yeah you could just

01:13:54.700 say anything and people go yeah because you're older yeah like that that's so t pass just keep

01:14:00.100 moving keep moving old man keep moving i can't wait for that honestly i felt performative at things

01:14:08.400 like when i was at church camp i felt performative at things like worship yeah because everybody's

01:14:13.040 putting their hands up and like crying and i was like i mean i guess i could do it but like it's

01:14:18.220 just my heart's not in it and that would be fucked up you know i mean i feel like jesus if jesus is real

01:14:23.200 they'll see that i'm performing i love god but i don't know if he was there i'm like what is this

01:14:29.580 but you're a real one i was fake i was like

01:14:33.420 i was like doing it honestly i think that makes more sense than the way i was doing it which was like

01:14:41.960 almost half-hearted like i was going oh but you were right i was trying to participate there was

01:14:47.380 a woman there who at these services would play air guitar to the worship music and complete serious

01:14:55.880 she's completely serious like in a god-fearing way or just like a praise him way this is for you

01:15:03.620 like like this is my gift this one's for you i bet she's still out there doing it it's crazy

01:15:09.680 i got invited to this birthday party tonight but only like two days ago which makes me feel like

01:15:13.860 they didn't think about me in the first place and then after not getting invited to wicked i was like

01:15:17.420 maybe i should just go and like not be like choosy about it but i already had dinner plans and so

01:15:23.860 then there's like this dancing thing after the birthday dinner party and they were like

01:15:27.000 and i'm just like it's i just don't know if i have it in me to fucking do it and so i think

01:15:33.140 i think i might just go to dinner and then watch frankenstein yeah i love that i'm just i'm just i

01:15:38.320 can't you have a date with frankenstein i have a date with conclave yeah i want to yeah to go to

01:15:44.040 the party yeah i like i the theory of it sounds great but the truth is is that i'm 38 and it's

01:15:49.260 tuesday and i gotta go on tour this weekend and i gotta do my best in richmond and boston and i gotta

01:15:54.040 like i gotta fucking prioritize and i don't think i can go out tonight you gotta go in the crate

01:15:57.420 i that's what i call it i gotta go in the crate and i gotta put the blanket over it and no one

01:16:02.780 and it's night time for me i gotta go to bed that's what i have to do yeah you have to and that's

01:16:06.700 okay that's okay and i would feel the same way about a last minute invite but it is why i don't

01:16:11.320 have that many friends and i do think it's like why celebrities like ghost me as friends a lot

01:16:16.080 because like every time they invite me places i'm like in theory i would love yes and i'm so

01:16:23.280 grateful for the invite i feel that though and i want to be invited i feel that i i feel that so

01:16:28.620 hard honestly it's making me wonder if i need to switch to sativas i'm like is my indica making

01:16:32.340 me too tired is this why i don't want to go out is this why i have social anxiety honestly sativa

01:16:36.540 makes me feel so like different like in a not as enjoyable way i like being i but i know what you

01:16:43.060 mean like because the indica makes you feel like a dart like elephant dart to the neck like you're like

01:16:48.080 like but sativa is more of a workable high or whatever they say my girlfriend is a hardcore

01:16:54.580 sativa girl but i'm a hardcore indica girl and i went to her house the other day and we smoked like

01:16:59.100 nine in the morning and then i was like i the way that i ravenously cleaned her house for two and a

01:17:04.660 half hours like i became obsessed with like cleaning the dust boards like everything and then i was like

01:17:09.240 damn maybe i should because the reason i got off sativas is because i feel like they made me really

01:17:13.380 anxious i agree with that and indicas don't it made me feel like my brain was going a little

01:17:18.260 paranoid everyone hates me i don't know when to stop talking yes and so then i switched to end

01:17:22.500 it kind of like that went away right but then this one little dipping my toe into the sativa blunt a

01:17:26.860 few weeks ago look i i've never cleaned that hard in my life i started using natural deodorant and then

01:17:31.620 i stopped two days later because i'm like at what cost like i really am not afraid of aluminum anymore

01:17:36.940 like i don't inject it into me at this point i need it i agree because there are some natural

01:17:41.600 deodorants i've tried where i literally was like you're making me smell worse yeah i have never

01:17:45.940 smelled that way in my life it's since i've hit puberty i've never smelled that way i don't get

01:17:51.080 what like natural deodorants like i would smell better if i didn't do anything like if i just like

01:17:55.180 wore nothing i would smell better it's like how are you pulling out the odor from inside and adding new

01:18:01.540 ones yeah exactly they're like making a cocktail truly so then i go to somebody else i'm talking to

01:18:08.000 friends whatever this other person pisses me off because i had just gotten my hair done that day

01:18:13.420 and this person comes up to me and goes bowman oh i was gonna say i like your bob but i guess it's

01:18:18.940 not a bob is it uh it's kind of giving bob okay okay okay okay oh my god whatever happened to

01:18:30.060 hello hi hello how are you my name is like oh my god i guess it's not a bob is it you want to call

01:18:39.420 me a slur like that's what i'm saying you want to call me a slur i can sense it

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - December 31, 2025

THE BEST OF 2025 ｜ Episode 202

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