TO BE A WOMAN IS TO PERFORM Ft. Caitlin Reilly
Summary
Join us as we celebrate the holiday season with two penguins and a special guest who is not only a hilarious tiktok but also an actress! Caitlin Riley is a stand-up comic, comedian, writer, and all-around hilarious human being. She has been a friend of mine for a long time and I'm so happy to have her on the show!
Transcript
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so she recognizes me she goes oh my god it's you and i go hi and she's like it's you isn't it
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i don't know what the fuck that means what the fuck does that mean do i know you from high
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school did we date the same guy like what are you talking about yeah she's like you're the girl from
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the internet hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show
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starring me your fave everybody knows me happy holidays or merry christmas or whatever it is
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you celebrate welcome to the show here we have two penguins i always introduce my outfits during
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the themed episodes two penguins there's no i thought they were skating just kidding they're
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just hanging out they're chilling in the holiday season and on to the amazing guests today we have
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the one the only the amazing the incredible the iconic the legendary caitlin riley hey so happy
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to be here i'm so happy to have you uh what's who's the worst guest you've ever had
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i can't tell you okay i'll tell you offline okay great yeah yeah i honestly had to think really
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hard about it that's good that's a good problem i'm closing in on 100 episodes yeah girl that's
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amazing wow i know it's crazy time flies when you never sleep hey love that when you're mentally
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ill and you never sleep i love that how you been caitlin um not good not no i've been good
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um you know this year was sort of about like realizing stuff and realizing things and i kind
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of feel like everyone around me during this time has just been like realizing things oh girl um i love
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when i realize things yeah when i see things and then i realize them nothing better yeah and it's
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sort of about that's like what's been happening and that's what it's all about imagine like this
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is who i was the rest like i can't believe i had her on honestly i i'd work i'd make it work i'd make
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it work i think that would be fun we're professional caitlin is a hilarious tiktoker but also an actress
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yeah and how has that been going how's life since i know you were an actress before yes obviously and
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then you you started doing tiktok just for funsies yeah right and during a global pandemic yeah i was i think
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most people did honestly yeah because we're all stuck at home and nothing better to do is it the
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tiktok or like put my head in an oven i think you chose well i did hey yeah i think you chose well
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yeah so obviously how has well first i'll ask you how long have you been acting how long have you been
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in the space um if i were to speak realistically i'd say like out of the womb right um because to be a
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woman to be a woman is to perform amen i keep looking at the camera and it's like it's that one
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that's your camera okay um no i mean i grew up around it and i grew up in la so i was around it
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and um yeah like out of high school i didn't want to go to a regular college i was like i'm gonna i'm
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gonna act it's fine but it's like hard oh my god it's hard and it's a crapshoot what no someone tell
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the town square it's hard to make i literally thought it would be like caitlin riley graduated
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high school okay so there's a tv shit like i thought it was like i'm in baby that's it then i
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went to like a theater school and oh nice did that and then i graduated and then again i was like it's
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gonna happen and then it didn't now's the time yeah like i did everyone come to me um and then
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oops sorry um and then i struggled for like a really long time just like an out-of-work actor
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for a really long time comedian doing like shows and stuff yeah then i downloaded tiktok and did a
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bunch of stupid videos and people were like oh my god some random young housewife decided to be
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funny online like i would have meetings with people they'd be like so have you thought about
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getting into acting like i feel that insane yeah i had a meeting the other day for a business
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like a thing i'm doing um later on this year and when i was talking to them we were kind of like
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going over what the planet you know they have a bunch of meetings they're like this is our thoughts
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like let us know what you think like blah blah i'm like okay cool there were a couple people on there
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that were like also just want to throw this out there super random off the top um this is a great
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chance to be professional we could be so professional we could we could showcase our
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professionalism which is so funny because i'm like i tell men to suck my wiener on the internet
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and you think i'm going to say that on a broadcast right maybe don't tempt me and i had to tell them i
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was like don't worry guys like i won't be inappropriate on on the broadcast i promise it'll be fine hey if
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the oscars trusted me you guys can trust me hey you can trust me hey my manager once told me he goes
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i honestly think it's kind of funny because it like keeps them almost on their toes because
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they're like please don't say anything crazy and i'm like i won't
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but you will but what is that though like why would they have someone who has like a very
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definitive personality online you'd be like so we want you to like be in this box
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you know do this i was wondering if you could like be nicer to men what if it was just a ruse to get to
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try and change me right to try and rehab like that's the machine that's the machine at play
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that's big hollywood yeah like big don't let them change you never let them i feel like my
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manager's constantly like please don't do please please caitlin just don't stop commenting on random
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tiktok videos i'm like i can't stop i can't i have an opinion and so you did you did stand-up too
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well i did a lot of like improv and sketch oh love yeah and so i i that's honestly harder i feel
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like it is sorry it is it is um but no i i do my own show now i have a show at the largo and i
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recently did some shows in new york and then i might be going on tour period we love that yeah
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in my show i do like a mixture of of characters and stand-up but when i'm doing stand-up i'm in
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so sorry i violently threw up and then we had to stop sorry about that sorry about that it was
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it was it was bad it was a lot it was a little bad so you said you do you do a mix of characters
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and girl that thing hates caitlin just leave it just leave it just leave it just leave it let it hang
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let her hang okay so you do different characters and then you do stand-up but when you do stand-up
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you do them as the characters yeah yeah another one's gonna fall um is this something there's this
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there's a ghost in the studio that's like i don't care about hearing about her career and they're
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probably misogynistic yeah honestly they hate um no i just i do a mixture of things that i have people
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on and um yeah so cool yeah yeah when you were coming up with the show did you want like did you
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start it with the intent of like making it purely improv purely comedy did you want to mix it or did
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you kind of like find that i basically i basically wanted to because i have a bunch of characters and
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i wanted to and this is kind of what you do an improv or sketch you pick one character but i needed it
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to be front-facing so i needed to have it engage with the audience yeah so everyone's like why aren't
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you god fucking damn it it's a bit now just leave it um what's gonna fall on our face um like people
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keep asking me that come to shows you're like you didn't do wasp mom and i'm like we'll be well what
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is wasp mom gonna do in front of an audience and also it's like like i'm kind of over it yeah i feel
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you know yeah it's kind of like that i because i remember one of the first characters i saw of yours
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was the wasp mom yeah one of my favorites though is definitely girl who's definitely not getting
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engaged yes that's one of my favorites yeah personally it's me he's definitely not getting
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engaged definitely not getting engaged definitely not what are um if if you don't mind sharing what
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are like some of the characters in your show um a little tease yeah no so i mean it changes all the
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time but what i've been doing lately is i be and a lot of people do this but i basically do
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really bad stand-up um and a lot of people do this but they kind of pick a character that they
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want to do it with and so i and this person doesn't exist yeah but i do my cousin stacy from phoenix
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and so she's doing stand-up for the first time she's never done stand-up before
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and it's a nightmare oh okay yeah so i do that for like 30 minutes and i just terrorize the audience
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are the audience in on the joke or are they just kind of experiencing so because because well the very
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the first time i ever did my show i was so nervous but then i was like oh wait they came to my show
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yeah so they get it you know what i mean yeah they're in on it they're so in on it yeah it's a
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lot of fun yeah do you have do you find that you have really good crowds like they're they're yeah
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i think they're always down yeah yeah i did one i did one show in new york where it was kind of
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like a sit down it was like at a really nice winery okay uh like by the river i don't know new york
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very well i was gonna say in new york yeah i don't even know i've been there a million times
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and i don't even know um and it was kind of like a sit down situation where like they're ordering kind
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of like at the comedy store right but i don't think like i and i said to my manager afterwards i
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was like i need my audience to be on me at all times because like they would be eating or talking
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with each other ordering something and i'd be like but you just missed a you missed a bit you know
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like i desperately need attention that badly like even during my own show i'm like you guys
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guys hello are you guys listening are you guys listening to me yeah yeah i don't blame you at
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all for that honestly that would it's so funny that reminds me actually in new york recently i was doing
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something um for like a big magazine that i was in and i was just doing a not a big deal humble brag
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i don't want to say what it was but it was a good time um but it was me and another creator and
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then there was like a moderator and they're asking us a lot of questions about like being a creator
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and transcending from social media into other business ventures and stuff like that right
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it's real standard shit um and we're talking and we're in this like i mean it's like an office kind
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of but it's like a little tiny stage and then there's a bunch of little like first there's like
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club seating like little couches and shit like this then there's like high top tables and then there's
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like a whole outside part with everybody standing i've done public speeches many fucking times so
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it's like whatever the way that nobody was fucking listening and it felt like they were trying to
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compete with the level of the microphones because they first of all they kept serving alcohol which
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is like that's fine but you have people at a bar it's not like a waiter it's was it a bar it had a
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bar in it oh but it wasn't a bar so it had like seating and then there was a bar right here and then
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there's a bunch of people standing and there's people going yeah can i get a what can i get a jack
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a jack and coke too two of them please yes thank you no i can't over like while they're like so
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what's it like to be on tiktok like what the fuck am i supposed to say and i remember i felt bad for
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my moderator she is such a sweet girl and she was getting thrown off by all the noise like she was
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trying to she had all these great questions prepared she was trying to like i would lose my
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mind it was well i did i said something twice uh the second time i was a lot more aggressive which
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made them stop i was like the first time i go first of all i love how much everyone's talking
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oh i love that i think that's so great i love that everyone is so talkative while we're doing this
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and then only a few people laughed and i was like damn tough room anyways so then we go through the
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thing and then right before the end i go i'm in the middle of saying something very serious and very
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like about women and misogyny and bigotry in the middle of it i go is it getting louder
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people are getting louder huh aren't they are they like competing with me yikes and then my
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moderator kind of laughed and then someone in the back goes and then they were quiet for the last
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question gee thanks bad energy and i was like at the whole time after i said it the second time i was
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like damn was i like kind of fucked up immediately like should i have not no not at all yeah and then
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when i got off stage my whole family was there like my team and my manager was like when i heard the
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noise and you talking and i saw he literally saw me going like while she's talking because i could
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not take it because i just think it's so rude it's so rude and then he's like i literally told
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my agent he's like i told her she has like five minutes before she says something and he was right
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yeah i did say so don't fuck with drew i just think that's a good example of people are like
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is she even really like that in real life yeah yeah yeah confrontational yeah very and it's so weird
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because if you're like and you have like a very front-facing online personality yeah where people
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feel like they know you and they feel like you know you're their big sister little sister or what
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have you yeah where they think in a weird fucked up way that they you they love you but they don't
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necessarily you don't necessarily need their respect no yeah you know what i mean oh yeah girl i know
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it's this weird like dichotomy it's very strange it's very strange and backwards and that's kind of like
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what social media does to people's brains yeah like the parasocial of it all yeah like i i get
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recognized a lot but in the way in which i get recognized is for the most part like very i'll
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never get tired of it it's like wow like that's like really really cool like oh my god i'm such a
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fan and i saw you on this show like that's fucking cool like i remember like sleeping on my sister's
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couch because i had no money like that's cool yeah it is yeah but like i was at in this uh museum
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i was at lakma with my boyfriend and i was like we're gonna have a an art day you know or we break
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up um but uh we were i was like looking at this painting lost in thought and this girl comes up to
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me on the side out of nowhere and she goes oh my god it's you and then just stares at me
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and i look at her and i'm like and so i'm thinking like i don't think i'm famous and i don't and i'm not
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and i don't think i am right yeah because i'm not but like so she recognizes me she goes oh my god
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it's you and i go hi and she's like it's you isn't it i don't know what the fuck that means
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what the fuck does that mean do i know you from high school did we date the same guy like what are
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you talking about yeah she's like you're the girl from the internet i'm the only girl from and on the
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internet you said yes and so i look at her so i look at her and so what am i supposed to say i'm supposed
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to say yeah i guess so so then i so then so then i'm like i think so and she's like i love you
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and i'm like oh thanks that's really sweet and she's like what are you doing here oh girl what am
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i doing here what am i doing here i was actually gonna uh file my taxes yeah i'm performing right
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now actually sorry i'm doing a meet and greet near the rembrandt you're the first one yeah
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yeah or like i was in new york and i i was like really tired and i had no makeup on and i was like
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i just need to get this bagel and i need to eat it and i need to go back to bed and um this girl
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very loud and it's new york and in new york you like want to be cool because new york is cool and
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they're like you don't fuck with new york and like when you're in new york and you're like i'm in new
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york right now you know what i mean like you just have to like it's an energy it's an energy you just
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have to like be ready for anything you know what i'm saying yeah for real and so i'm in new york
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i feel like this is gonna like be on my crotch um so i'm in new york and i'm waiting for my bagel
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yeah and across this bagel place this girl goes holy fucking shit oh my god i love you and there's
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a line of like 12 people behind me and so i have to say oh thanks so much and then the 12 people
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behind me is like who the fuck is this bitch oh girl the amount of times that's happened to me
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the way old people are like are you like somebody famous are you in porn are you like on the tv or
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something yeah i go no and they're like and they don't ask me any other questions okay hey i literally
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had a girl once uh or recently literally like a couple days ago she uh first of all was following
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me around the store oh no i feel like people think i can't tell but i do have eyes they're not very good
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i do have very poor vision um but i do know when i see the same exact person at the end of every aisle
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i'm in it's no longer a coincidence right so she's following me around the store and i'm like okay
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well eventually she'll say something i'm sure i don't ever engage like i'm not what's the deal
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when people don't say anything so it's like you could just be like oh i i love your stuff or hey
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i think you're a cunt like either one's fine just tell me and then we'll go our separate race but
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like stare please don't draw it out for me right so she she's following me for over an hour she's
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following me and then towards the end my boyfriend never gets really upset or like i have a boyfriend
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but you do yeah okay i was gonna say that'd be really embarrassing if you didn't yeah no i also
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have a boyfriend okay okay well good because i didn't want to have to end the show early yeah i
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don't want to me neither i don't want to talk to a fucking loser yeah you know what i mean
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so my boyfriend was like he never gets upset um he's very used to me getting recognized he's used
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to it so he was like i feel like i have to say something because it was just getting bad
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and then she doesn't say anything till i'm checking out and i'm like talking to the cashier
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she's very nice and she and i were having a moment together and then this girl walks by
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and she stops her car and she's just staring at me like oh and then i look at her older or younger
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no she was probably like in her 30s oh so yeah and she goes you're that fucking girl aren't you
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you're that fucking girl aren't you oh no and then i go i mean i hope so because if not right you're
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getting real excited and i i hope i'm the person you think i am right and she's like i know you're
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that fucking girl aren't you you're that fucking girl you make fun of fucking douchebags and she's
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yelling like she's yelling god i love her and then you do that like customer service lab you're like
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yeah yeah yeah you're like i guess so one would say i guess and then all of a sudden you're like a
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politician you're like i'm at target what's happening and then she was like oh she goes
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i fucking love you bitch and then she just leaves i love that that's a new character yeah
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one similar experience thousand percent similar experience because there's like a breed of like
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and i like whenever i see a famous person what happens to my brain and body is oh my god make
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yourself small yes don't say anything don't speak unless i'm drunk which i was at the sag awards and
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if anyone was there and talked to me that night i'm sorry um i've never done that in my life and
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when i see other people do it anywhere for anybody i'm like god that takes balls i know i admire them
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honestly yeah and i feel like too it's a very it's nine times out of ten it's awesome yeah that one
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though yeah fucking crazy where it drags on yeah and it's awkward yeah and you like you kind of like
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like am i about to cry yes or it's just like please one of us needs to either leave or die
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like i can't i can't i cannot be here for a second longer i can't i'm so please leave or die
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yeah you or me girl you choose i don't care yeah one time i was out with um my boyfriend we were
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eating at a restaurant you have a boyfriend do you yeah okay cool i just want to make sure um the
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days we were we were eating and um someone in there recognized me which i'm gonna be 100% honest
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sometimes it's awesome because then i get to cut the line oh okay sometimes it's awesome the only
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thing that i've gotten been able to do is get a free doll whip at disneyland really yeah that's tea
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but like i don't worth it i was very good but you saved 72 dollars so that's good hey hey
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i don't cut lines i that was a prince i'll tell you i'll tell you what cutting lines is the only
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thing i get i never get free things like they'll geek the fuck out over me and they're like your
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total is 172 dollars thank you so much yeah love that though i will pay don't worry do you get a lot
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of pr packages yeah because i did and then and then i stopped
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and i think it's because i was like because i'm an old lady like at heart i'm the youngest woman
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alive but i'm an old lady i'm sorry to cut you off though but like i i don't understand the
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business of like if someone sends you package you post about package and that's the exchange right
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and so i kept getting packages and being like oh
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thanks i stopped getting packages like i don't get shit
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you gotta start posting about your packages i know buy yourself stuff and then be like thanks
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so much thanks dior and then tag them yeah yeah anyways i was at that fucking um restaurant and
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we're it was actually at disneyland and we were eating and um someone in there recognized me let
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me skip the line love you for that and so then i'm eating and we're both enjoying our our meal
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and then this guy comes up to me which is rare um but what i do love is every most of the time
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when men approach me they're like i'm gay by the way before they even tell me their name and i'm like
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okay period because they think i'm gonna attack them right i love a little fear yeah a little fear
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never hurt anyone on their toes yes a little fear never hurt nobody yeah um and so this guy just
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comes up to me and he goes okay bitch we gotta talk and i'm like that is a bold entrance right
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what if i was fucking nuts like what if you came up to me and i was insane right and i was like
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ha ha ha ha right about what and he goes someone in here told me that you're famous and then i go
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oh no that's not true now we have to have this like cute back and forth yeah i'm like don't make
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me go through it man that's what i was like i just want to have my bread bowl yeah i was like that's
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not i mean i wouldn't say that but and he was like no they told me and they said you're like
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online or something and i was like yeah mind you he's working and if i remember correctly he's
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an employee yeah girl a cast member a cast member uh-huh and i think they shoot you dead if you talk
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to people when you're a cast member literally i'm pretty sure that's the rules yeah but i don't know
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watch you're gonna get so many comments being like as a former cast member
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and so he's like he's trying to like relate with me and i'm like uh yeah you know like i'm just like
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doing the the humble fucking i wouldn't say that yeah like don't make me do it yeah otherwise i'm
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an asshole so then he he's like i'll be right back he leaves and i'm hoping he doesn't come back
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and then he comes back like 20 minutes later and then he goes okay now that we have a little bit
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more time and i'm like for what are you gonna get fired with who that's why and he's like um let
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me see your your tiktok and i go what and he goes you should show it to me like on your phone like
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because i don't know who you are i've never heard of you was this in downtown disney no or well
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no it was actually at the grand californian hotel okay i love that hotel me too love that hotel
00:23:02.600
oh so it doesn't keep sinking for you oh sorry i have a boyfriend
00:23:08.620
so don't even think about it don't even fucking think about it
00:23:14.080
uh hr okay um yes i love that hotel so much i was gonna my boyfriend i love disneyland i also
00:23:27.580
have a boyfriend sorry oh oh you do yeah okay how old is he he's 29 okay mine's 42 and i'm not engaged
00:23:36.220
can you believe it um anyway we love that hotel yeah i'm shocked that that's happening there
00:23:46.560
me too because it's like that place is expensive and they run it like the navy bitch yeah they do
00:23:51.440
they run that shit like the marine corps yeah and the way that the guy was like yeah you should just
00:23:57.420
pull up your phone and show it to me because like i don't know who you are i could not believe what he
00:24:01.100
was asking me i go you want me to lock to open my own tiktok and show you my own videos is that for
00:24:08.340
real and then he goes well i mean i can't do it i can't have my phone while i'm working girl what are
00:24:13.520
we doing what are we doing what are we doing girl was it at napa rose so i was like what are we doing
00:24:19.680
what are we doing that is wild this isn't who we are that is disney cast members disney cast members
00:24:26.200
come on i actually had another girl who worked actually in downtown disney at sunglass hut
00:24:31.420
i went there randomly with sunglass hut is a lawless place it really is yeah it really is we went in
00:24:37.580
there um my boyfriend bought some sunglasses and then when he was walking out when we left we were
00:24:44.720
like okay cool no one said anything to me months down the line months i meet a random girl at a
00:24:50.880
different place and she goes oh my god you don't know this but you came into my workplace and i go
00:24:57.980
oh did did i and she goes yeah the sunglass hut in downtown disney okay and then i go oh and i was
00:25:04.740
thinking i'm like when was the last time i went and that it really was like six months before that and i
00:25:09.140
go oh yeah i think that was like in the summer she goes yeah yeah yeah i wasn't working that day
00:25:13.940
um but all my co-workers told me and i didn't believe them so i checked the security tapes and it was true
00:25:19.060
you were there oh my god okay wow you're very loyal fans yeah this one woman this was like
00:25:27.680
in 2021 she followed me around ikea telling me her life story i was like i'm trying to find a cutting
00:25:34.800
board and some plates and like i had to i had to make something up i had to be like oh god i'm so
00:25:40.140
sorry i have explosive diarrhea i gotta go i just like kind of ran away because people feel like they
00:25:45.960
yeah they just kind of i think it's a big word vomit thing they're just like oh my god it's an
00:25:50.620
it's an internet facing thing truly yeah and some people are like so what are you working on these
00:25:57.860
my least favorite question to get is um do you live around here yeah which i'm like even if i did
00:26:12.020
i would not divulge that information exactly but i love you so much exactly i love you down girl yeah
00:26:17.880
i get a lot of messages from people being like i thought you were from texas like no i was in
00:26:22.400
in texas for a short time i'm like well why do i explain this to you who are you like i like sometimes
00:26:27.720
i'll like actually respond to people i'm like what am i doing oh my god and then i'll just like throw
00:26:33.020
my phone on the couch and like go for a walk i'll tell you the worst i'll okay this is the last story
00:26:37.940
i'll tell about this but this is the worst like it most invasive fan encounter i've ever had and
00:26:43.720
we didn't even meet in person uh one time a girl messaged me and she said hey girl love you so much
00:26:49.300
big big big big big fan just out of curiosity are you and billy doing okay which is my boyfriend
00:26:56.000
oh my wait you have a boyfriend do you yes okay just making sure um she was like are you guys doing
00:27:04.900
okay because i know it seems a little odd but i saw you uh in downtown disney no and you were
00:27:12.720
why am i always at disneyland literally shit happens to me no hold on like do you do you live in anaheim
00:27:19.380
no okay why are you always there okay just kidding why are you always there i don't know girl it's the
00:27:25.560
shopping it's just it's honestly the fucking just the odds of it i think it's just the amount so funny
00:27:31.120
the mass quantities of people that go there i think it's just that's why the odds are greater
00:27:35.500
to have some a little freaky happen yeah yeah it's like a corridor for everybody truly it's just so
00:27:40.740
it's a real dice roll you know funny but this girl is like i just wanted to know if you're doing okay
00:27:44.660
because i saw you in downtown disney a few months ago um and you looked like you had been crying and
00:27:51.200
it looked like you guys um i don't know were maybe fighting or something and then she sent me a
00:27:56.100
picture shut the fuck up of my own face shut the fuck up from far away and it looked like i had been
00:28:03.320
crying and to be quite honest with you i cry a lot so i couldn't even fucking tell you why i was
00:28:07.480
crying if i was i couldn't tell you why why would i be crying at the happiest place on earth i don't
00:28:11.380
know right she tells me she sends me that picture and that is for sure me and it was taken from a
00:28:18.140
great deal of distance away that is so creepy and it was so like it scared the fuck out of me if i'm
00:28:25.320
being honest when i read it i was like that is crazy you just have to block those people i guess
00:28:30.200
okay well then i if i block them i feel even more scared no i can't tell you how many people i've
00:28:37.280
blocked i block tons of people yeah all the time that's a great feature they should add more of those
00:28:42.000
more things like that it's weird when people think that they can like ask you stuff like that i posted
00:28:46.220
a bunch of videos last night of my stories because i was bored yeah and i got a lot of messages being
00:28:51.340
like so glad you're back have you been doing okay like what the fuck i'm fine and if i wasn't
00:28:59.200
so yeah but it's like i've just i've been enjoying my summer sorry you're okay that aside did you think
00:29:06.800
it was funny yeah yeah was the joke people are so bizarre not to like hard pivot but i did want to
00:29:13.380
talk about your characters on tiktok specifically of course so when you first got started on tiktok
00:29:18.360
sorry did you did you plan on on doing more like of your sketch comedy like improv kind of deal or
00:29:25.380
did you just kind of download it for funsies and just kind of um i first downloaded it in like 2019
00:29:30.140
for funsies yeah and i didn't know what it was and at first i was like oh it's a bunch of like
00:29:36.600
teenagers dancing yeah that's how that was my first impression of it too and then shout out uh who's
00:29:42.580
now like a dear friend of mine this guy named alex colliard he's a he's a comedian and an actor and
00:29:49.520
he on my for you page he did a video of an alien pretending to be a person in school and it was the
00:29:59.060
funniest thing i'd ever seen and i was like wait a second people can be funny on here yeah like that
00:30:06.100
was so funny that's that was my experience too yeah i saw people being funny and i was like oh damn
00:30:09.820
yeah yeah and so like i i had had friends on instagram like do character videos and stuff but
00:30:15.020
i hated the internet yeah and i was like i'm not gonna be i'm not gonna post my stuff online you
00:30:21.220
know because like everyone that i knew followed me like exes and like co-workers i was like that's so
00:30:27.000
fucking embarrassing and so i just decided i started playing around and and posted some videos yeah
00:30:34.520
and i thought like well no one's gonna see it right and so it would get like a couple likes or
00:30:39.720
like oh like 40 people saw it whatever and then uh and then i abandoned it and then covid happened
00:30:46.580
and i started seeing people on on like the d'amelios right and i'm like oh god this fucking app
00:30:55.540
you know and so i was just messing around with it again and i started doing character videos more
00:31:04.460
just because i felt like i was desperate just to be creative yeah to have like an outlet of some
00:31:09.520
kind yeah yeah and then one went viral and i was like what like i i think what was the first one
00:31:18.600
yeah i'm so curious what your first it was a wasp mom on facetime having a psychotic break
00:31:23.480
and i literally i was i was sitting in my mom's dining room i set up my phone and i just like
00:31:29.700
and just did it and i was like no that's funny and i posted it put my phone away
00:31:34.140
came back like three hours later and it had like a hundred thousand likes and i was like
00:31:38.940
what no way and so i thought i was like okay it's a it's a fluke whatever right yeah and so then i
00:31:47.080
posted another video and the video after that was the co-worker you hate over zoom because i had i had
00:31:52.940
literally just had that experience on a zoom with this person and i was like i want this person to
00:31:56.600
fucking die and i posted that and that went like crazy viral and i was like what's happening and i
00:32:04.180
guess the algorithm was on my side and then like every video i posted after yeah was just like all
00:32:11.700
all of a sudden had this like audience yeah it was like uh the same kind of people seeing your stuff
00:32:17.760
yeah and so and so i am a founding father of tiktok today and um but yeah no i just i was like wow this
00:32:27.600
is exciting and then um i just kept doing more character videos not really knowing where it was
00:32:33.740
going to go and then i started to get a shut ton of followers and then that that transferred over to
00:32:38.020
instagram which started to freak me out yeah so like people i knew were like are you famous on an app
00:32:43.600
called tiktok and i'm like uh i don't know i don't i don't know i don't know i'm an adult i don't know
00:32:50.480
you know what i mean and then i woke up one day and i was verified on instagram and i had a panic
00:32:55.600
attack because i was like oh no the secret's out and like i'm an actor like i like like i want like i
00:33:03.040
want that can only help me yeah you know yeah um unfortunately unfortunately and then yeah and
00:33:10.320
then you know like i started having like meetings and and fancy shit yeah you know it's it's it started
00:33:18.300
to become this thing and then i had this sort of platform and i had all these opportunities and then
00:33:23.480
like oh look at that like all these celebrities are following me like that's weird yeah it's so
00:33:29.280
strange yeah and so now i'm basically in a place where like oh god i just a global pandemic had to
00:33:36.160
happen i had to get randomly famous on an app called tiktok and now i'm a working actor yeah
00:33:40.420
like it's like all of this crazy shit had to line up for me to like get a couple jobs
00:33:44.920
you know to no longer be a struggling actor right i feel that which is and it's that's great but like
00:33:51.560
yeah we had both experiences so that's good like you lived the very traditional experience yeah of
00:33:57.240
trying to make it as an actor yeah and then you just randomly became an influencer too and then went
00:34:02.560
back got to go back to acting yeah it's a great because i kind of fought against the like influencer
00:34:07.020
content creator thing because i like i had like a team that i was working with in the beginning that
00:34:11.940
was like we you can go on tour and get appearances you can come out with merch you can do a cookbook
00:34:15.860
and i was like oh no no no no no no i'm 30 years old i'm an actor sorry yeah and like i'm not gonna
00:34:22.760
do any of that and i like pissed off i pissed off a lot of people like i i i have merch i think on my
00:34:29.020
youtube yeah and i don't even look at my i literally just post my videos on youtube they're
00:34:33.160
like you're a youtuber and i'm like i'm i don't i i don't i don't look at youtube ever yeah like i
00:34:37.960
don't know what's going on there and so i just um i like fought against it because i i just didn't
00:34:44.540
want to do that you know yeah you want to stick to what you truly love and want to do it's just what
00:34:50.980
i know yeah you know i'm not gonna be like hey guys so this is a vlog and you know like i literally
00:34:58.600
i literally had like meetings being like what if you sort of did what if you like did vlogs
00:35:02.760
i'm like oh we're not you and i are not gonna work together that's not gonna happen i commend people
00:35:09.100
who can vlog especially people who vlog every day oh no i think it's great i can't do it i know i'm
00:35:13.380
saying that's not my cup of tea either personally um people have asked me to vlog like like fans and
00:35:18.340
shit and i'm like you guys would be so fucking bored right watching my i swear to god specific
00:35:23.500
personality type with it who do i love right now i mentioned victoria paris earlier yeah i'm obsessed with
00:35:28.300
her yeah um i also love uh avery avery woods oh hey girl i love her she's so great love her i love
00:35:39.560
there's a couple others i love but i can't so sweet i can't think of them right now but i love that shit
00:35:43.560
i could never i could never honestly there are some some people i watch on tiktok purely because i
00:35:52.020
cannot relate i cannot relate any like they live a life that is so fucking 180 from mine and i find
00:36:00.120
that fascinating oh yeah of course they got a viewer in me girl of course click i'm watching all three
00:36:04.820
minutes no i think i mean like i'm not trying to bag like you know i say stuff like that where it's
00:36:09.520
like i am not an influencer yeah but like the influencer hustle is very commendable like it is that is
00:36:16.100
some real shit it's like the future of social media it's the future of entertainment and a lot
00:36:22.340
in entertainment is different umbrellas but like it's definitely like it is its own thing they're
00:36:29.200
influencers i love they're influencers i can't fucking stand and that's just the game honestly
00:36:33.500
that's part of the same same with like actors same with politics same with anything it's part of
00:36:38.220
like it's part of existing in the space honestly right but i think it's especially with like what
00:36:42.840
happened with tiktok during 2020 specifically like shit shifted it did and like and also for like
00:36:49.700
you know actors or comedians like there is finally a way to like create something for yourself yeah like
00:36:58.400
i can't tell you how like platform your talent on a different level yeah like there's so many actors
00:37:04.500
i know that have you know just been doing their own content online and like now have this platform and
00:37:10.700
this opportunity like brian jordan alvarez and his and i don't even know what to call it but i
00:37:17.780
fucking love him so much but he's like you know having like this fun time and he has his show now and
00:37:24.240
megan salter did the same thing yeah that girl to death and like it's like now it's this palpable
00:37:29.840
thing for so many people times when i get like really frustrated with social media which is natural i feel
00:37:36.940
like if you exist um today but i feel like in times like that i think about stuff like how what a great
00:37:42.420
vehicle it is yeah to put you in other rooms like if you if there's something you've wanted to do
00:37:46.880
forever like um i have so many friends who like their dream has been to be a singer like they're like
00:37:52.940
classically trained artists and they absolutely they were like they got famous randomly for a random
00:37:58.260
shit on tiktok christy schlopek is a great example like she is a classically trained like she went to
00:38:02.780
art school she she can sing bitch and she got famous for being her bimbo content like so she
00:38:09.840
was like fuck it i'm gonna lean into it is she the one that's like hey guys yeah she has a really
00:38:13.400
high-pitched voice oh my god she wears pink all the time yeah love her she is a perfect example of
00:38:17.140
someone who leaned into a skid and then now she's like fuck it i'm doing music now and now she only
00:38:21.200
does music that's great girl and she's getting booked all over the place love that i love when when
00:38:26.080
people are like you know what i'm not gonna fight this i'm gonna ride it yeah and and just steer it to
00:38:32.380
where i really want to go i fought it for a minute yeah i think that's natural though especially
00:38:36.940
but also during 2020 like shit was so nar nar it was it was so nar nar it was really bad where i was
00:38:43.760
i felt like i was having like crazy crazy conversations about shit or i was like no no no no no no no no no
00:38:52.440
well and especially tiktok i feel like because it's so easy to go viral on there like much easier
00:39:00.220
than any other platform ever has been i feel like there's a new level of like fear that comes with
00:39:05.800
that especially if you were so aggressively normal prior and then you just randomly go viral my stuff
00:39:11.240
happened really fast too yeah like it was a lot quick yeah that was kind of mine too in the beginning
00:39:17.320
like when it really kicked off it was just like snowballing so fast i was like oh yeah but then it's
00:39:24.820
also like this beast so it's like you know i haven't posted a tiktok character video in a month
00:39:28.980
right yeah mainly because it's like i'm booked and busy yeah i'm doing cool shit whatever right
00:39:33.520
but like um i'll post when i feel like it yeah like i might post one later today i don't know
00:39:38.580
um and you know the algorithm gets you yeah so if i post a video today or tomorrow it probably will
00:39:45.000
get like you know maybe like 80 000 likes which is great yeah not my norm but like for a while that
00:39:52.180
would happen i'd be like god fucking damn it it's passing me by i'm done but then it's like no
00:39:59.700
that's not i had to really and i did finally but i had to let go of that because it's like i
00:40:04.800
like i would tell people this and i i still fully mean it like i think i have too many followers
00:40:10.320
like i really do yeah like when i when i hit two million followers on tiktok i was like why
00:40:16.120
yeah i'm not like an activist or like like i am like ew no and then when i started to get a lot of
00:40:23.020
followers on instagram i was like that's too many that's too many because it just it feels like
00:40:27.260
inflated and like i i've been so it's very like again it's like a fear like you're like yeah i don't
00:40:32.800
know where this is going i've been so resistant of it and be like can you just like can i just like
00:40:38.060
be on a tv show like that's just that's all i want to do i feel i i feel that honestly you know
00:40:42.800
it's so funny i found out the other day that um lily gladstone follows me on instagram oh my god
00:40:49.260
and i shit my britches oh my god and i couldn't believe it and i only on instagram yeah and i only
00:40:55.200
found out because my friend kwana who's also native and has been in the show she's a really famous
00:41:01.060
native um supermodel and so she posted lily's acceptance speech is she does she do videos with
00:41:06.540
her mom no that's sheena okay yeah that's sheena no but kwana you would probably recognize kwana if
00:41:11.880
you saw her because she's been in mainstream modeling for a while now but she's she's gorgeous
00:41:15.440
and perfect and amazing and she posted her acceptance speech at variety like the women
00:41:20.640
and yeah yeah the when they're awarding women for stuff she gave this like moving speech tear in my
00:41:27.360
eye i'm like wow i love indigenous people and then i click on her so i can go like stock because i'm
00:41:33.440
like i love lily so i'm gonna go look and i saw follow back unbelievable unbelievable so i followed
00:41:38.280
her back and then me and her were key king we were messaging which we love i love her i i'm
00:41:42.800
obsessed with her i i fucking love her i love her we're just gonna talk about i'm so happy for her
00:41:47.840
me too and i can't wait to see the movie i love her i love i fucking love her she's amazing and so
00:41:52.600
we're we're messaging each other we're like he laughing like and i i literally couldn't fucking
00:41:56.960
believe it i said i cannot believe you follow me girl like why you haven't seen the movie you
00:42:00.560
haven't seen it yet i haven't seen it yet no it hasn't i heard it's long yeah and i she told me
00:42:07.100
she goes oh she's like oh my gosh i can't believe you messaged me i'm like girl what the
00:42:10.400
fuck are you talking about i've had that conversation before you're way too famous what is happening
00:42:14.720
and she told me to like the one of the last messages we had exchanged she was telling me
00:42:20.100
that she was in paris for fashion week and she met um emily radikowski casual right and she was
00:42:26.600
like oh me and emrata met at paris fashion week and um i was only familiar with her because you
00:42:32.300
were on her show girl what the fuck are you talking about crazy and then she was like and then we
00:42:36.540
just talked for like an hour about how much we love you girl what the fuck are you talking about
00:42:40.480
i was messaging lily gladstone this literally the joke is i was messaging her while i was sitting
00:42:46.420
in a veterinary office listening to my vet tell me why my dog can't stop throwing up oh and that's
00:42:53.280
the yin and yang of life duality that is what it's that's the duality right so like i'm a famous queen
00:42:59.100
but also like i have a dog and a dog that is costing me an arm and a fucking yeah stars they're
00:43:06.220
just like a hello hello i literally when my boyfriend told me how much my dog surgeries were
00:43:13.040
gonna be because he needs surgeries yeah he needed to get fixed and stuff oh yeah he's a he's just over
00:43:18.340
a year so needed to get so you you spayed him i sure did i neutered him interesting interesting and
00:43:25.260
it's for the best i think it would be good for him but anyways i did that and then it is i i neutered
00:43:30.180
my dog as well yeah he had to get i wasn't there it was not it's my boyfriend's dog i have a boyfriend
00:43:35.540
but like i met the dog when the dog was five like i knew anyway jesus he had to get like a something
00:43:41.600
done in his throat too just because his um his soft palate is too long and so like it makes him like
00:43:47.780
regurgitate a lot okay anyways when my boyfriend told me that that price tag i said i was on the phone
00:43:53.260
and he's at the vet right this is like the day before i'm like talking to him i'm like he's like
00:43:57.320
yeah it's gonna be this much and i go it's gonna be that much and he goes yeah i go holy fucking shit
00:44:03.560
dude do i get a nose job too what the fuck give him a bbl while he's under yeah what the hell give
00:44:09.220
him some veneers tell him to do stand-up it's a lot tell him to do stand-up hey that's all it takes
00:44:14.880
but you all you need are the are the first the first six just the first front six and then later you
00:44:19.980
get the rest toddlers and tiaras core hey hey a flipper hey pop it right in the
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responsibly the topic for today we didn't even get into that but we're talking about i'm just such a
00:45:35.320
guest period period and more importantly she has a boyfriend i have a boyfriend yeah that's the most
00:45:42.600
important part i know all of tiktok's gonna be like god damn it really
00:45:46.720
you're gonna be so fucking bummed she's so fucking hot
00:45:52.260
no not me when i say that they're like yeah fucking right shut up yeah right bitch shut the
00:45:59.340
fuck up that's just because men hate me i think you're hot period i'd hit it but i have a boyfriend
00:46:03.840
sorry i'm taken i'm taken sorry i'm like feelings not mutual okay all right all right
00:46:08.900
whatever okay the top respectful of your guests
00:46:14.760
it's okay we're both taken that's that's true that is true that's true we're both taken and both
00:46:22.440
not married i've never talked about my boyfriend so much ever he's gonna be so weird now and it's
00:46:27.420
because i'm like don't fucking talk about me i can't wait for i'm not proposing i can't wait for
00:46:32.940
a ranch nice try bitch every christmas with this girl yeah you gotta do it every holiday literally
00:46:41.100
literally that's your bit yeah and then if he gets mad you were just kidding i did it two nights ago
00:46:48.360
at my sister's house where i was like well we're doing the holidays in la and then we're going to
00:46:53.780
texas because we have a couple things planned i'm sure and like in front of my fucking whole ass
00:47:00.060
family poor guy oh i love a bit yeah but here's the thing if he doesn't it's fine
00:47:14.240
it's like i usually don't get this like we're on a podcast but like
00:47:19.960
okay sorry what video okay we're talking about bringing original characters from tiktok to tv
00:47:26.980
obviously caitlin is a fucking expert so we're gonna talk about one specific video let's see it
00:47:33.340
okay in this video from we didn't talk about any of the tv shows i'm on i'm kidding that's for after
00:47:39.180
that's for after girl let me cook sorry i'll plug it at the end it says in this video from daily wire
00:47:46.460
two men in suits are playing a drinking game where they're where they read cards and then move their
00:47:51.240
drink to the yes or no column on a table and they read the card women are funny and both of them
00:47:57.440
move their drinks to the no and for fuck's sake nod at each other and shake hands
00:48:02.160
bros classic dudes oh classic so this notion that women aren't funny is wild to me because it started
00:48:10.840
somewhere right it started on like 4chan 15 years ago for real right like women are fucking funny
00:48:17.140
make me a sandwich to like the ugliest motherfucker you've ever seen yeah i know i'm very familiar yeah
00:48:23.380
being a female comedian yeah on stage even if it's my show even if the whole audience is like we're here
00:48:29.320
to see caitlin riley yeah i still feel like when i'm on stage i am constantly having to justify why i'm
00:48:36.180
on stage whereas men don't have to do that no right when sometimes they should and sometimes
00:48:43.160
they should sometimes i deserve an explanation men innately especially in the sphere of like
00:48:48.060
funny comedians stand-ups men like there's nothing i hate more than a mediocre white man on stage with
00:48:54.360
a microphone period bitch and it's like it's already accepted it's already comfortable it's already
00:49:00.160
like we got you we'll we'll give you a couple laughs it'll be fine but then the second you're a woman
00:49:04.420
on stage it's like well why are you on stage yeah well are you actually that funny why are you a
00:49:09.680
woman and you're on stage and you're you're a comedian yeah it's like oh you have to overcompensate
00:49:13.960
immediately yeah yeah because you're already fighting an uphill battle exactly the second you get up
00:49:19.200
there exactly it's honestly bullshit because the amount of male comics i've seen where i'm like
00:49:24.340
i love it it's like seeing little boys play with like plastic cars i'm just like watching animals in
00:49:31.100
the zoo yeah look at them yeah they don't even know they're in a zoo yeah they don't even know
00:49:35.100
they're just behind that glass yeah and also i feel like there's this like breed of male comedians
00:49:39.860
right now that like got popular in the last 10 years were like specifically white straight male
00:49:46.040
comedians like they all want to be like hot do you know what i'm saying but it's like there's like
00:49:50.660
like they have tattoos and like they're like womanizers and it's like why are we in this timeline
00:49:55.640
right now do you know what i mean yeah where it's like everyone like they have like all this
00:49:59.880
fucking race on stage am i right like shut up i hate it i hate i hate it so much i have an original
00:50:07.540
thought yeah that's the part that that really fucking gags me because i think to myself that
00:50:13.980
stand-up is more than just like you make your fuck-ass buddies laugh like i killed them the other day with
00:50:20.600
this joke about hitting women yeah oh man it killed them yeah and then they're like i should
00:50:26.760
definitely quit my job and do stand-up right guys i think i have an idea yeah i think i'm i think i'm
00:50:33.600
gonna be a star yeah and then when you make them stars that's even worse like that's even worse it's
00:50:38.660
yeah i don't know if you're aware like we're talking about someone specifically again straight
00:50:43.780
male stand-ups yeah everyone wants to really push that fucking envelope
00:50:48.260
and like there's nothing lamer than a guy that's trying to push the fucking envelope
00:50:55.800
like ew it's so lame it's so lame horny bro it's so it's like immediate yeah it's so and then when
00:51:08.720
you don't laugh they're like everyone's just so fucking sensitive everyone's so fucking sensitive get
00:51:13.740
your brain checked i literally said this in a it's like no no we're not we're not offended it's not
00:51:19.720
it's a poorly constructed joke it sucked it sucked like like not good objectively like it didn't hurt
00:51:25.340
my feelings it wasn't funny right which they just cannot like their brain like they just can't
00:51:31.000
compute that if i am man and i have microphone and i tell joke it is good like no boy all the time
00:51:37.600
boy math boy math that's boy math yeah that truly is i think too like i even said recently i'm like
00:51:43.540
when they say things like oh you can't joke about anything these days i'm like according to who
00:51:48.140
because you guys are still doing it right no matter how many times i've said hey that's not funny
00:51:52.860
you guys continue to do it so like what the fuck are you talking about who's stopping you clearly not us
00:51:59.000
i think that there is a artistic constructive way to technically joke about anything i agree
00:52:06.880
technically i agree but and some people know how to do it yep other people don't and i think i think
00:52:12.780
it's so lame when people are like god i'm so fucking offended all the time it's like no you're
00:52:17.420
just bad it's just i think it's a harder pill to swallow to accept that this isn't your calling
00:52:23.160
right and you should go back and get a job right yeah you should you should quit this and go get a
00:52:27.480
job yeah because you're not gonna last very long here girl yeah and it's like it once they do that
00:52:32.780
they just stare into the skid like they just like get worse because they're like oh fuck it i'm just
00:52:36.400
gonna be an alt-right pipeline guy now yeah fuck it i dated a guy for a time in my life hi who um
00:52:43.580
who uh he like had an office job he worked in a cubicle right okay but he was charming
00:52:55.400
damn that's how i felt too i felt the same way hey and um he started going he started like writing
00:53:04.520
jokes in a notebook and i have it like i'm like you're dating a comedian he didn't want to talk
00:53:10.060
about his comedy with me at all um because he was threatened well yeah you wouldn't get it yeah
00:53:14.160
he would get mad i'm like do you want to tell me jokes he's like no i don't want to tell you my
00:53:17.540
fucking jokes anyway so he would go to open mics and and i would go and support and he would tell
00:53:23.880
jokes and they were bad and he was bad because he's not good at this and it's not a thing that
00:53:28.300
comes naturally to him so he thought that because he was funny at dinner parties sometimes that he
00:53:34.080
should do stand-up comedy and there was one time he came to my house after doing an open mic and i
00:53:39.840
remember i was sitting in the bath and we were having a conversation and he was telling me about
00:53:44.720
his open mic okay and just telling me about it whatever and he was like i think if i keep at it
00:53:50.340
next three to six months or so i could be making money doing this and i looked at him and i was
00:53:56.600
like that is the stupidest fucking thing you've ever said and you can't say that in front of anybody
00:54:01.340
and that's actually like offensive and like you can't the art form as a whole no literally i was
00:54:07.000
like that's kind of like i'm an actor like that like that like stung my heart a little bit like you
00:54:11.560
can't say shit like that like that's not okay and we got in this argument where he's like all right i
00:54:16.360
guess i'm gonna fucking leave and i was like okay was that a joke was that a joke i can't tell
00:54:22.660
and so at the time i was like i love him maybe i'm just not being supportive and maybe he puts me
00:54:29.260
down and tells me that i need to be more serious about my career because he loves me like and then
00:54:34.680
as i got older and as time went on i was like oh he just fucking sucked yeah he's just awful right
00:54:40.220
yeah it's sometimes the simplest answer is the scariest one isn't it hey wow so him being awful
00:54:47.320
and him for him being bad at comedy yeah it's like i swear to god there's more men on this earth
00:54:52.780
that true like genuinely it's this should scare everyone they genuinely believe that they could do
00:54:59.280
that for a living yes that thought i dated terrifies me but it's just like the most especially
00:55:05.700
every guy in la too yeah the worst dude you know yeah it's like i could easily do that yeah i could
00:55:11.480
i fucking kill yeah when my give me a fucking beer and a microphone when i'm in the break room with my
00:55:18.060
fucking buddies they're can't they're cackling yeah they're fucking laughing yeah and i i that honestly
00:55:25.020
i was thinking too when you told that story i was like i i don't know what's worse a man who writes
00:55:30.280
his own songs and isn't good or a man who writes his own jokes and isn't jokes you think yeah
00:55:34.780
because there is an earnestness with with with singer songwriters where it's like oh you just
00:55:43.560
wanted to like write a little poem and express yourself do you know what i mean well you give
00:55:48.040
more of a pass yeah yeah where it's like oh okay do you know what i mean i literally or it's like
00:55:54.820
that was really good whereas like with the comedy thing it's like it's raw it's raw it's like it's
00:56:02.220
sinister there's something sinister about it you know why that probably is because i feel like
00:56:08.220
you see the inner workings of what men think is funny right and that could be horrifying exactly
00:56:14.440
it could be truly a fright yeah man i can't imagine dating a guy who's not funny oh i can't imagine yeah
00:56:21.700
or a guy that that inherently thinks they're funny knows that you are funnier than them girl and then
00:56:27.700
puts you down and constantly tells you that you're wrong and not funny
00:56:31.140
that's the final boss hi of of guys who think they can do comedy yeah
00:56:37.200
i've had dudes say like negging shit before in like groups when they're like
00:56:49.020
you're pretty funny for a girl yeah i fucking hate that shit yeah and when i was younger i'd be like
00:56:53.980
what the fuck is that supposed to mean like i just get mad immediately then i'm super not funny
00:56:58.640
i'm just you know what i do terrorizing you know what i do if so say that to me okay you're pretty
00:57:03.540
funny for a girl oh my god oh do you have a small penis that's what i say correlates yeah
00:57:09.880
one time it's a coincidence two times it's a pattern yeah and listen there's nothing wrong
00:57:14.040
with a small penis unless you're not funny exactly and unless you're not funny and you think you are
00:57:20.180
right there you go that's that's the fucking i don't want to talk about people's bodies
00:57:24.080
i don't want to talk about people's bodies yeah that's my whole thing though that's my whole thing
00:57:30.060
though but you know what i've never even talked about dick size i mean i have well that's a lie
00:57:34.000
i actually have but the most jokes i make are about height and the way that men are like women
00:57:40.000
can't take a joke i have almost two years worth of evidence that men are far far far more incapable
00:57:47.660
of taking a joke 1000 they cannot take a joke to save their fucking life you know how many people
00:57:52.600
have told me that i have like horse teeth online and i'm like i know i do like i feel like if i was
00:58:00.140
a guy i'd be like oh i'm so listen fucking here you guys you guys fucking first of all uh first of
00:58:07.240
all uh i have a family second of all listen here you keep this fucking up i'm deleting my fucking
00:58:11.900
profile and then there's people and they're going be nice to him yeah he's you guys men have
00:58:20.040
feelings too body shaming is never okay yeah even though men consistently and frequently body shame
00:58:26.120
and love to do it and they think it's so funny i even said on tiktok once i'm like dudes like that
00:58:30.460
tell one fat joke and they're like i should audition for snl yeah i have listen whatever it is you're
00:58:35.980
looking for i have it yeah men are gross get lauren michaels on the phone yeah i have something
00:58:42.300
i hate men no i'm kidding you and me both that's my whole thing okay i'll read a couple of these
00:58:47.980
comments on here this one says generally agree but the movie bridesmaids was funny lol and then this
00:58:54.460
guy wrote which was directed by a man and had an all-female cast what are you talking about and
00:59:00.700
written by a woman but whatever anyone can hold a camera it's the same watch every director like
00:59:07.820
i never i never want to work with caitlin riley i don't know why they're british but you're black
00:59:12.220
following yourself right now yeah okay this one says funny is a skill set that men usually acquire
00:59:16.920
more readily out of necessity women don't have to be funny to be attractive go back to war well then
00:59:23.900
why are then why are most men not funny like you guys aren't even doing your job get to fucking
00:59:29.020
work honestly shit i'm tired of carrying this comedy load my back aches same it says not once
00:59:35.280
in my 20 year 20 years lifetime did i see a girl i love it when a 20 year old man thinks that they
00:59:40.740
like things to say about the world a real unique perspective yeah and the perspective is fat women
00:59:46.660
are gross yeah that's it and i'm like oh man i wish i where have i heard that before did i see a girl
00:59:51.960
make somebody laugh on purpose not because of stupid behavior but actual humor okay so he's never
00:59:59.000
left his house ever in his life in his 20 year lifetime in the 20 years of my life i've never
01:00:06.660
ever seen a funny woman ever literally ever like he started masturbating like two years ago like
01:00:11.760
you know literally ever and also i do kiss my mom on the lips what does that have to do with me
01:00:16.260
hating i love why do they always fiercely love their mothers my mom is a is a saint they say a really
01:00:25.040
fucked up joke about women and they're like i have a mom yeah i fucking love my mom and i have a
01:00:29.460
boyfriend and i and i hate you yeah as a man i hate you actually i hate most men yeah someone asked me
01:00:34.380
once if i hate men and i was like most of them yeah and the and for women who hate all men whose fault
01:00:41.440
is that it's not ours listen it's the peachy or he and they hate that word too is it peachy or he
01:00:48.700
i think it's just gotten worse with social media like yeah absolutely 2013 on like shit got weird
01:00:55.440
yeah you know i think even like i think when 2016 happened um god a lot of year that was girl there
01:01:02.820
was something in the air you know what's so funny is even then i had no platform at all and i was just
01:01:07.360
existing as a normie on the internet but i was fighting men left and right yeah about trump i was
01:01:14.200
lighting these bitches up i didn't give a fuck the comedian guy yeah he's not a comedian um that guy
01:01:21.360
he uh he thought i was being ridiculous because i was very very upset that trump was elected as our
01:01:26.660
president and he was like honestly it's him or hillary okay yeah i know i voted so right did you
01:01:34.620
yeah that's the crazy part yeah i'm like the one thing you can always count on men who are like that
01:01:39.440
and not funny you can count on them to be misogynistic yeah and not vote they're a little
01:01:44.800
too close to the side that they shouldn't be on every time do you know what i mean a devil's advocate
01:01:49.600
right well there's bad on both sides yeah yeah sure yeah sure tell me all about it right they have
01:01:56.200
like no knowledge whatsoever none sometimes when men say jokes that are fucked up and obviously not
01:02:01.680
funny um i purposely don't laugh obviously i don't find it funny but i make it a point to just stare
01:02:06.760
and not laugh and then when they're like you know which is embarrassing to have to add on to your
01:02:12.600
ever had a guy on this podcast that you just like dragged through the mud no you should i know people
01:02:20.300
ask me that a lot um i always think like i just don't want to give them a bigger stage to platform
01:02:25.600
bigotry i get that but also this is my fucking show this is a dictatorship so if i don't let you in
01:02:31.960
you're not allowed in right i get to sit here and make fun of you from king of the castle right you
01:02:37.080
know what i mean i feel like chet hanks would be a really good guest i just think he's a very
01:02:41.880
dynamic person i saw chet hanks on z way yeah yeah i just feel like that would be a wild ride for
01:02:47.780
everybody yeah that was a very random suggestion yeah i'll log it away yeah let's hit up spotify let
01:02:54.220
them now to wrap up uh what other projects do you have going on um wow that's so crazy that you
01:03:09.580
asking that um i don't know i'm so bad at this oh oh oh oh i'm well i'm i'm going to be in a tv show
01:03:19.380
called dead boy detectives that is going to be on netflix that is premiering in the spring
01:03:24.240
oh how exciting uh period we love that um so you're gonna have to watch it and find out like
01:03:31.040
what's going on and then um i'm in another show i don't know if i can talk about it yet and i love
01:03:37.600
it when people say that it makes you think like i've got some big stuff cooking but it could be
01:03:41.680
nothing and i could be lying and i could be lying and she's an actress and you'll never know exactly
01:03:46.100
yeah that's incredible yeah i'm such a huge fan of you dude i'm such a huge you're so fucking funny
01:03:52.000
i love you i can't wait to keep watching you explode it's gonna be amazing and most importantly
01:03:58.880
we'll both have boyfriends we both have boyfriends we both have boyfriends we'll continue to have them
01:04:04.000
hopefully yeah um but we're still unmarried unmarried wow that's kind of that's crazy
01:04:10.660
it's crazy that's crazy it's so crazy that's actually nuts
01:04:17.260
actually it's it's weird at this point it's okay i love i'm i'm not in a rush me neither
01:04:24.980
thank you so much caitlin for coming on the show you're fucking hilarious i adore you i love you
01:04:33.420
everyone please make sure you go see caitlin and her show and in the other shows going on in the world
01:04:39.560
and this and the surprise one coming out where can everybody find you um they can find me
01:04:45.940
in a safe space no you can find me on tiktok and on instagram love um my handles just type in my
01:04:55.900
name i'll i'll pop up love um caitlin is so fucking funny you guys are in for a treat if you follow
01:05:03.400
caitlin you absolutely should if you don't already but i'm sure most of you do i'm not gonna tell you
01:05:06.880
my handle you're gonna have to find it come and find me come and find me thank you so much for
01:05:13.080
coming on the show i adore you for having you're amazing thank you all so much for joining us on
01:05:17.700
this episode of the comment section don't forget new episodes drop every wednesday the audio is on
01:05:23.180
all streaming platforms but the video is still free exclusively on spotify because that's our
01:05:28.460
favorite streaming are you reading that no oh professional thank you so much for joining us
01:05:34.680
on this episode thank you so much to caitlin riley for joining us and i'll see you next week