The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

00:00:00.000 and the next day i had like a false alarm went to the hospital and got a sonogram and it had worked

00:00:04.600 wow yeah doggy style for 20 minutes spun my baby into the correct position

00:00:08.580 thank you thank you google i googled it and found spinning babies and i was like we lit

00:00:14.500 hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me your fave

00:00:25.680 everybody knows me who cares about me on to the guests today we have the iconic the hilarious

00:00:30.880 the unbelievable alana glazer

00:00:33.380 hello thank you for having me i'm thrilled to be here oh my gosh it's an honor to have you

00:00:41.120 oh living icon living legend oh my goodness did you see my mic work yeah i was a bit

00:00:46.940 prepared for you yeah super misogynist it's groping you i'm sorry about that i thought i was groping it

00:00:51.880 i mean truly i thought it was actually um feminist what i just did um you're right that's so true

00:00:57.200 i don't want to silence women thank you i'm so i'm so happy anyway thanks for having me you're so

00:01:01.940 smart and cool and beautiful and funny thank you i feel the same about you thank you and i think you're

00:01:07.020 just a living comedy legend first off i want to say i'm a huge huge broad city fan thank you and more

00:01:14.340 specifically i love that it was an online series that got bought and then turned into a very successful

00:01:19.400 that's right tv show like a web series that was on youtube and facebook that was like how it first

00:01:26.540 was like so like most shareable it was like that was the thing yeah when when facebook used to be i

00:01:31.600 don't know if you know this it used to be just for college kids oh yes because i've seen the social

00:01:35.760 network right right that historical piece yeah moment in time yes yeah um so it was like yeah

00:01:44.680 all that you say is true and resonating with me i think that's i think that's really truly very

00:01:51.880 inspiring for someone like myself also just because obviously obviously i'm a dickhead online currently

00:01:57.100 um but i love the transit the ability to transition and like be able to utilize a medium and be able to

00:02:04.140 turn it into like traditional entertainment and i just i admire you a lot for being able to do that

00:02:09.940 jump like you isa ray quinta brunson y'all are incredible thank you fantastic and amazing and

00:02:16.400 you've been in comedy for a long time i'd love to know obviously well you have a new special coming

00:02:20.920 out that's right very exciting that's right please tell us all about it it's called human magic it's

00:02:25.820 on hulu and disney plus worldwide starting december 20th and it's my latest hour of stand-up i toured it

00:02:33.000 around the country with my tour manager madeline kim there she is my tour manager madeline kim um

00:02:39.220 52 shows 48 cities stretched out across um like nine months instead of like jamming it we were just

00:02:47.280 talking about mental health yeah instead of jamming it into two or three months where i'm like a horrible

00:02:51.060 monster um it was stretched out over nine months and i was a wonderful human that's nice and it was

00:02:56.820 like the first time i learned that and i had so much fun oh my gosh that's so cool um i think you

00:03:02.960 can see in human magic how much fun i had it was transformative for me how do you like tour obviously

00:03:09.320 it seems like you've figured out a way to tour yes the way i did it i love it okay and instead of like

00:03:14.360 making it um a okay so i have a three and a half year old yes so if i'm gone from her noel your mom

00:03:21.540 would know this if i'm gone for more than two days i'm like why am i on the planet get me off this planet

00:03:25.260 i don't want to be yeah you're like planet get me back to my family um so i would only go away

00:03:32.300 two nights a week and thursday friday so that i could be with my family on the weekends which is a

00:03:36.500 very important connective time yeah and um yeah and then i would take weeks off the third week off

00:03:42.980 and just did it in seasons summer season fall season and um late winter spring season and it was just

00:03:50.200 like the way that it was spaced out i had more time to keep you know crafting the material

00:03:55.240 the notes would like come up and also like really hear what the audience was vibing with

00:04:00.000 yeah instead of just be like i don't even remember one show to the next yeah yeah because they're all

00:04:04.300 blending together yeah you're doing one after the other and i really like also i i felt so um so

00:04:10.580 blessed to have the opportunity to connect with people at such a divisive time and be like people

00:04:17.600 want to get together yeah i really um my audiences are incredible i am so grateful for these like cool

00:04:24.740 funny beautiful people but also you know maybe it's just me and my own little world but i do feel like

00:04:31.600 people um the majority of people want to connect yeah and vibe totally and not worry about their basic

00:04:42.960 needs yeah yeah impending doom yeah yeah yeah sometimes they want they want an hour to laugh

00:04:48.480 yeah and like really can laugh at the same shit even if it's not their body their bodied experience

00:04:53.280 their whatever like just want to laugh at dumb shit and that's a good comic honestly one that can reach

00:04:58.940 anybody like at any point in their life i think that's what makes because i've loved stand-up forever

00:05:04.400 well before i did this that's the one thing i've ever done in this job that truly makes me nervous

00:05:09.660 like nothing else ever i never get nervous i never get stage fright because i love attention

00:05:13.440 so i'm like yeah love that love that i'll no i'll go on a stage i don't care um but stand-up like i've

00:05:19.580 only done stand-up one time so far um and i did a type 5 and i was sick to my stomach nervous yeah i

00:05:25.800 haven't felt like that ever girl i've been doing stand-up okay i'm 37 let's do math help um i started

00:05:30.920 when i was 19 18 okay 18 years i've said this like because also because my movie babes came out yeah earlier

00:05:36.320 in the spring yeah i've been talking about how i've been doing stand-up for 18 years like i've

00:05:39.960 said it maybe 327 times and every time i'm like what's the math it's like just the numbers i started

00:05:46.460 to panic 18 years i've been doing it 18 years and i still get nervous and my my um uh like pre-show

00:05:55.560 routine was to talk to myself out loud for four hours okay and out loud makes it not like bing bong

00:06:01.720 bing bong bing around my head that's a really good point but rather one thought stream totally

00:06:05.980 and for two hours i'm like uh stacking it up i call it i'm just talking about like objective reality

00:06:12.580 validating my feelings as my reality but that's not objective reality yeah um and then two hours to um

00:06:18.400 talk through my set just like i'm nervous too i had broad city i had i've done a stand-up tour i've

00:06:24.680 done a stand-up special still that nervous yeah that's why i like i don't and it was a completely

00:06:29.880 different feeling of like hearing them laugh at shit i wrote like like purposely with the

00:06:35.900 intention to hopefully make them laugh beautiful and so like i remember i opened for my friend

00:06:40.660 caleb heron yes i'm meeting him and and doing his pod next week i believe love him you're gonna love

00:06:47.400 him and you can tell him i hate him when you go yeah okay i hear you and britney broski told me to

00:06:52.700 tell him he's a gutter hooker i was reading her text i was like what are you talking about you can tell

00:06:58.900 him that i said he owes me money yeah okay yeah and i will come to collect it soon um

00:07:03.620 you owe her money and she's coming to collect it and then britney broski says you're a gutter hooker

00:07:08.540 okay i got it thank you very much alana let me know how he receives the message i will you're gonna

00:07:15.020 be like who is this like me following up yeah it's uh i opened for him and uh chris fleming chris

00:07:23.040 fleming was his other opener and i did a baby five and i was so scared i and caleb was telling

00:07:29.320 me like that's exciting that's a good thing that means you're gonna enjoy it and after i finished

00:07:34.600 i was like i felt so like different than when i do other things that make people laugh like

00:07:39.880 when i'm just telling random off the cuff jokes it's very different from like writing them out

00:07:44.720 physically because i hadn't written shit like that like it felt so kind of silly when i was because

00:07:49.840 caleb he helped me so much with my set and he was telling me it's gonna feel stupid but write them

00:07:55.240 as if you're talking like write them down as if you're talking and then like say them out loud so

00:07:59.940 you can hear how your cadence is how you talk right and that will help you kind of formulate it yeah

00:08:05.240 and i was like okay i love him there's such a gutter hooker i love right i love that broke gutter hooker

00:08:11.180 yeah he's uh he's a genius but can you describe the difference i want i want to hear like what it

00:08:19.200 what it means to you i think the difference is like when i'm when i make tiktok videos or when i'm like

00:08:25.920 doing talks and just cracking jokes that feels like that's just how i talk and how i think but what i

00:08:33.400 think when i was telling jokes that i specifically wrote like my goal was to actually reach people and

00:08:39.260 hope that they could relate to it whereas when i feel like i'm just kind of talking i'm just saying

00:08:43.760 shit i find funny nice whereas when i'm writing i feel like i want to write something that i find

00:08:48.540 funny but also other people can relate to and also find funny cool thank you for articulating that

00:08:53.260 yeah there's a lot more thought process to it as opposed to like when you're just kind of riffing

00:08:57.420 yeah and i was going to ask you that question about like the difference between writing for like

00:09:02.000 broad city versus like writing your own stand-up like how is that for you and like what's the

00:09:06.400 difference in feeling yeah because i feel like there's a lot of improv in broad city too i'm sure

00:09:10.400 but there was but it was like so written it was so fucking written and we were on such a tight budget

00:09:17.440 it was important to be like extremely prepared yeah and it wasn't even like we had so much

00:09:22.200 time to play we were like really obsessed with the writing is um was our damn thing i mean like we

00:09:30.020 and like the difference you know i started in comedy it was like a different world there weren't

00:09:37.460 smartphones there wasn't the surveillance culture that we are oppressed under now yeah um so people

00:09:45.540 were less self-aware and it wasn't um better for women you know naturally yeah um the past yeah the

00:09:53.240 past wasn't everyone but there was like a freedom a general human freedom that um you know is more like

00:09:58.920 in person like i used to go to just get up every night sketch stand-up improv sketch stand-up improv

00:10:04.720 yeah and then when broad city hit for abby and i just the web series i'm just talking about finding

00:10:09.580 your voice hit yeah um it was like that was almost like where yeah that like forming my voice that was

00:10:18.680 where like okay this container for my ideas rants act outs can be um and then

00:10:28.140 i really started focusing like in season four of broad city on stand-up again and focusing on stand-up

00:10:34.320 i was like i've done sketch i've done improv but like i really like stand-up and it's kind of the same

00:10:40.160 ingredients but with like the dials turned up and down where you know the um i don't know so it feels

00:10:47.880 similar but it's it's scarier yeah it's more naked it's um you have to be it's it's more naked and you

00:10:58.340 have to be like stronger in a way to like withstand absolute fucking silence i'm not kidding i was just

00:11:06.580 about to say that's that was my greatest fear i'd rather silence than like pity laughs is gross

00:11:11.980 you know what i mean or like um someone who thinks you're trying your best yeah it's like it's like

00:11:17.220 just don't even worry about it you know what i mean um please don't yeah and like also you know

00:11:22.440 what it was also it was like um broad city was it was so such a like miraculous it felt like we were

00:11:27.420 um do you know the the more you know star yeah it was almost like abby and i were straddling it

00:11:32.740 across the sky and the screen and we were like holy fuck shit you know but like um stand-up since i

00:11:40.240 like returned to it and especially this this tour yeah with the um pause of covid i paused for like

00:11:47.160 a year or two with stand-up and then the reflective experience of having a baby and the distance from

00:11:53.420 broad city and doing therapy through all of that i was like this is a little service that i can offer

00:11:58.420 people and to make it that um to to draw the lines around it made it much like more containable for me

00:12:05.060 and a lot less like who am i but more like oh here's like a dumb little thing you didn't like

00:12:10.800 it yeah that's totally fine i get it i won't say it again and then like okay i'm gonna try this

00:12:15.280 little thing you know made it more um graspable accessible emotionally for me yeah and able to

00:12:20.980 kind of build like build a new foundation right like brick by brick i totally i i get what you mean

00:12:26.180 and it's also you're right like the the landscape of comedy has like shifted drastically with

00:12:30.940 the internet with surveillance with like and it's also catching up i feel like culturally

00:12:36.960 surveillance and also um i just did uh you know bill burr yeah i just did bill burr's like video

00:12:42.340 podcast whatever and okay we're just talking about like you know it's called you can call it conspiracy

00:12:48.280 theories as a joke but really it's anti-capitalism rhetoric like that's the other thing that has

00:12:52.880 heightened in the past few years of like i would say gen z millennials and other um you know uh

00:13:00.300 other generations but like gen z millennials really honing in on like we live in a uh design

00:13:06.680 that is capitalist yep and it's not the way things are it's just the way this is right now and that

00:13:13.660 before like alana wexner in broad city it used to be like kooky rant and now that's like very like

00:13:18.220 kind of i i think like mainstream thought yeah yeah no i get what you mean it's it's like the stream

00:13:24.520 of consciousness that's kind of it's elevated almost it's almost like like you said people are even

00:13:29.640 more self-aware than they ever have been yeah and aware of the system we're in aware of the context

00:13:34.200 yeah totally which is why i think comedians like yourself or like caleb or like chris fleming

00:13:40.020 do so well because it's first of all you're living ahead of your time like a lot of people clip broad

00:13:45.220 city now and they're like this is living ahead of its time because of what you talked about then

00:13:49.560 god bless but now people find it even funnier that it was existing back then yeah it was like it was

00:13:55.880 like it was like a secret yeah and it was like it was like a cult hit at the time compared to like

00:14:02.420 workaholics yes for example which was um you know which was really funny those boys were so silly and

00:14:09.320 funny and but in a different way oh in a complete like completely different way existing almost on

00:14:17.120 almost on opposite yeah i was gonna say and we can say it it's smarter in broad city and that's okay

00:14:22.700 it's not a dig it's still funny but it's straight guy humor versus different humor yeah i would say

00:14:29.020 like you know we we were um uh more marginalized voices yeah and they were more the mainstream and

00:14:36.100 made they had like much greater views you know absolutely yeah um comedy central held on for us

00:14:43.220 and really you know comedy central was thriving at that time with all different kinds of um

00:14:48.400 shows and voices but it's it's interesting well in broad city was huge on tumblr at the time and i

00:14:56.360 remember because i was big into tumblr wow that's crazy and broad city was all over tumblr and i'm

00:15:01.280 feeling things and that's because that's where a lot of women and gays are right and that's where

00:15:05.900 builds cult followings that's exactly that's where lana blew up lana got really big too because

00:15:10.980 she's on tumblr right so it's like it i made this joke when rebecca black was on my show not too long

00:15:16.460 ago how's she doing she's doing great great she's a pop star i love it love her we love but she made a

00:15:22.700 she made a joke she made a joke about how she was like gay people have always been so supportive of

00:15:28.180 me and she's like like when everybody was fucking hating me because of friday i was like gay people

00:15:33.820 were like she's fierce you guys don't see it yet but she's fierce and now like you fast forward to

00:15:37.540 now and now she they love her and they've so it's this i feel like it's the same thing like i'm loving it

00:15:42.300 they always know like women and gays they always know they can tell yeah they pick winners you know

00:15:47.720 and y'all were winners not necessarily even like the bodies people inhabit but like those who claim

00:15:53.580 their power t get into it and are smart and i get and have a completely different type of humor like

00:15:59.740 and i see like it's kind of like everyone who loves broad city would get workaholics but not

00:16:07.620 everybody who loves workaholics yeah get broad city sure you know what i mean it's like all squares

00:16:11.520 and rectangles kind of thing yeah that kind of thing like all rectangles are squares but not all

00:16:15.660 squares are rectangles vice versa but correct right okay tea yeah um i was just like me yeah anyway um

00:16:22.420 okay a little more tea uh as it's like unfolding in my brain it's like we are more aware of our social

00:16:27.800 programming social scripting yeah and it seemed like it seemed like nutty rants of alana's at the time

00:16:35.800 or when abby would finally gather enough strength she'd explode about it you know what i mean but

00:16:41.600 alana was like carrying that weight all the time and and then abby would you know burst at the right

00:16:46.820 times um whereas that's the other thing that we're more aware of i'm maybe being redundant but i just

00:16:51.280 found a different phrase no that's totally fine and it's and it's true it's edited exactly and it's

00:16:57.500 my show yeah and if repeating yourself is a crime take me away officer okay the amount of time the amount

00:17:03.080 of time sometimes people are like i love you so much but like she's told that story okay first of

00:17:06.840 all most times this is my first time meeting my guests and they haven't heard the story second of

00:17:10.700 all it's my show i'm gonna repeat myself you try telling stories 150 times right you're gonna run

00:17:15.620 out yeah eventually i'm gonna scrape the bottom of the barrel at the at some point but i do want to

00:17:20.580 talk more about your stand-up your new stand-up special so i know it's based on motherhood your

00:17:24.720 journey with motherhood right and how was that uh crafting that kind of set for your new special

00:17:29.260 it was really um fun because i had something this experience of um creating a person in my body

00:17:38.780 and pushing that out of my body was so new and far from work and the social scripting it was so

00:17:48.080 new yeah that it was like really fun to um to think about yeah in this way and like it was like not like

00:17:54.600 i wasn't like you know like working to grind out the material i was just like living chilling and

00:18:00.500 something would come up and i'm like you know writing it down i love and then living chilling

00:18:04.420 and then something comes out and i'm like l-o-l you know that one's gonna kill that one's gonna kill

00:18:10.400 or not and it's just for me but like um but yeah like it was really uh it was so nice to have that

00:18:17.580 change from the years of comedy that i had you know performed and written and and created

00:18:24.460 and filmed before to like have this whole new experience was i feel so um it feels like

00:18:30.300 reinvigorating yes yes your creative juices are flowing again yeah and like i saw myself so

00:18:35.780 differently like also with broad city and and i wonder how you feel about this like especially

00:18:40.900 it's like a different thing and it's so sped up with tiktok instagram and youtube yeah watching

00:18:46.620 yourself filmed and editing it editing yourself it's like a uh it's powerful and you can really

00:18:55.520 control your own narrative but like it's hard to control um the personal growth that's happening

00:19:04.000 totally i get i get what you're saying you know and it's like um i'll say this it's like it doesn't

00:19:08.840 necessarily impede upon or interrupt or diminish or ruin that self-actualization it yeah it doesn't

00:19:14.700 necessarily do that but it does something to it yeah it's part of it yeah and you're not free from

00:19:18.840 it yeah totally you're you're you're just not if you're choosing to do it so this was so much

00:19:24.220 freer in that way i wasn't fucking filming the experience yeah you know we're like what you mean i was

00:19:29.920 like leggings and vintage t-shirts i'm gonna um get uh tailored to be crop tops and that's what i'm

00:19:36.880 gonna wear for like six months you know what i mean it like wasn't like well you know i'd look

00:19:40.480 better if i like sort of just lifted the waistline it was like so so just like function based i know

00:19:46.900 what you mean it was so real it was so fucking real it was really fucking and it probably makes

00:19:51.460 you fall back in love with what you were originally in love with you that's right your well runs dry i

00:19:56.180 get what you mean like when you're having the same lived experiences especially when you

00:19:59.860 your art becomes your job that is correct not many people are lucky to have and luckily you've had

00:20:06.840 that now i get to have it too but then once you commodify it it yes the inspiration kind of stops

00:20:13.300 because you're living in a bubble at that point that's right and it's um a bit of a snake eating

00:20:17.540 its own tail yeah and that's why i was like happy to hear you um say you're taking a break from tiktok

00:20:21.840 because that's like real that's the currency of life is time totally and if you can spend that time

00:20:28.160 um not being productive or um producing or generative and totally simply stopping yep it's

00:20:36.560 like that's the human magic not to tout my own fucking standard but that is the human that is

00:20:42.640 human magic that's true just fucking blooms it's true if you give it a little space and a little

00:20:47.340 time it just fucking to breathe yeah and like i didn't know what it was gonna be like and like

00:20:51.420 just like hanging out with a newborn newborn baby who's like who's by and large useless in a lot

00:20:59.060 of ways oh absolutely helpless like i say my special pathetic they're fully pathetic um helpless you

00:21:05.680 know like sort of jelly neck you know they can't even hold their fucking heads up and yet like totally

00:21:10.360 wondrous i'm like i made your everything crazy um just in my lived-in experience of um having the

00:21:19.200 experience of pregnancy and the baby being uh my genetic baby um but there are many experiences

00:21:24.620 which is like cool that we're learning about all different kinds of ways that people become uh

00:21:29.220 parents totally but that was my experience and i was like grow your toe mine um and then also she's

00:21:36.940 growing now on her own like that's fucking crazy that is crazy day to day you know like going from

00:21:42.800 like over here to like boom actually can look at my eyes like holy shit walking talking all that

00:21:48.640 magic yeah that in your and that's so true because i feel like like you said too with mine it's like

00:21:54.680 with you know short form content it speeds everything up a lot faster too so it's like

00:21:59.860 you're living a million lives in one yeah and so i did kind of start hitting like the the bottom of

00:22:07.420 the well a while ago like probably a year and a half ago and i was telling my team i'm like i mean i can

00:22:12.820 only tell men to suck my dick so many ways like i like it started after a while it starts to get

00:22:17.320 repetitive and i'm getting bored like and i would say on tiktok sometimes i would talk about that

00:22:22.220 like i would say like i don't really have much to make fun of anymore because first of all they're

00:22:26.420 like roaches they've scattered uh they're hiding in the walls i can't see them and then because

00:22:30.300 they're afraid of me and then on top of that like i'm bored like none of them can really compete with

00:22:35.260 me so it's boring um and so i was feeling uninspired like you said it starts to it feels like

00:22:40.880 groundhog's day after a while you're like living the same life so i started kind of pivoting to

00:22:44.880 different stuff and i think that's why stand-up was so exciting for me yeah because i get to pull

00:22:48.960 from experiences that's why i love this show and like my show with my sister because i get to talk

00:22:53.540 about things in a longer format and get to kind of elaborate and then you can pull from other parts

00:22:58.280 of your life but you're right like living life is how you stay funny that's my opinion like you

00:23:03.880 have to keep living being mentally healthy like as we we see you know it used to be interesting for

00:23:09.160 like tortured men to touch everybody around them and make life a living hell and then that would be

00:23:16.700 like somehow conflated with the immense talent and it's just like that that you know that lie has been

00:23:23.180 like really revealed and it's like weak and not interesting actually like yeah because it's not

00:23:30.400 special everyone is in a lot of pain and everyone is suffering totally and everyone deserves to have

00:23:38.300 their basic needs met yeah like on the planet like a standard for basic human rights is like not

00:23:44.380 that progressive it's not that like big a deal lol but it's like not that big a deal that's that's

00:23:49.520 something that we could achieve very quickly and should agree on yeah and isn't um that's not radical

00:23:55.200 yeah it shouldn't be controversial to say that or believe it yeah so it's just like everyone's

00:23:59.440 really suffering and um i've found you know conversely to all the like toxicity of online

00:24:05.580 discourse like yeah i've also found um that at least gen z and millennials uh you know can speak

00:24:13.640 to suffering and being like fucking sad and like thinking about death like way more as a mainstream

00:24:20.440 conversation than when i was in my 20s yeah and it's more it's like more access it's like a beautiful

00:24:26.680 thing and a curse all at the same time yeah but it's like i i what what it the good it's brought to

00:24:31.840 the world i feel like outweighs the bad in a lot of ways for me personally but i also feel like it's

00:24:37.680 good idea to keep an eye on the bad it is pretty bad yeah online but speaking of your new inspiration

00:24:43.440 for your special your daughter is a huge inspiration of your special yeah what's she into nowadays she

00:24:49.920 into anything special she's really into aladdin which is a big part not a big part but it's like a

00:24:55.640 moment in my special um love because uh she and i i guess when she was inside of me were watching it

00:25:01.840 when she was i tell this story in my stand-up special about my baby being um upside down which

00:25:08.080 is right side up for you and i but for fetuses uh right side up is upside down they're supposed to

00:25:13.940 have their head to your pussy um as i say in my special knock knock knocking on that pussy door like

00:25:18.520 hello mama right here i am i say here's johnny in my special anyway um so uh she and i while she was

00:25:29.180 inside watched aladdin while i um did this thing where i like um got upside down uh in doggy style

00:25:38.660 face down ass up to like try to spin her around right um to get her head back down to my pussy

00:25:44.180 gotcha and it actually fucking worked it fucking worked bitch you rolled her like a dice yeah and

00:25:50.040 i like i i it was like actually so interesting i like felt um tom cruise in mission impossible

00:25:55.420 energy i swear to god i was like this thing i didn't know what if she was a girl but i was like

00:25:59.540 this fetus is like moving like not only was i feeling the movement but i was like genuinely i

00:26:04.700 swear to god genuinely feeling dun dun dun dun dun energy just crawling in a circle and she like

00:26:10.040 yeah and the next day i had like a false alarm went to the hospital and got a sonogram and it had

00:26:15.000 worked wow yeah doggy style for 20 minutes spun my baby into the correct position it's like thank you

00:26:20.440 thank you google i googled it and i found spinning babies and i was like we lit we lit and i took care

00:26:27.000 of it didn't i and don't say i never did anything for you to your daughter uh that's right so so now i'm

00:26:33.160 realizing that connection now she's like so into aladdin and um we're singing it and we're dancing and i'm

00:26:39.180 aladdin she's jasmine um obviously she like also notices when aladdin uh when jasmine has her red

00:26:44.660 look when she's trying to like get jafar or whatever um she's into aladdin og moana coco of

00:26:51.300 course love um what else is she into we're into anime that's really cute love yes and it's like

00:26:58.520 really beautiful art for her to watch which i like instead of like shitty bad animation like she

00:27:03.600 deserves to look at good beautiful art right and um it's good enough for her yeah and which means

00:27:09.760 it's good enough for everyone three and a half you know she's into nightmare before christmas

00:27:12.640 tim burton fan i've been seeing lots of babies really that love tim burton lately that's i can't

00:27:18.920 relate as a former baby i can't relate to that because i was scary yeah i was ookie spooked like as

00:27:24.980 a child i was a big scaredy cat i was like no and also if there's no women that i can be like

00:27:30.900 i need her to do this yeah with that guy if like like lion king i was like get the fuck out of here

00:27:36.080 nice animals don't give a fuck humans show me girls yeah girls right right right i love that yeah um

00:27:43.080 but she likes the spooky corpse bride and and then also like she it's interesting she likes to conquer

00:27:47.420 her fear so it'll be like the scariest fucking thing and she's like no no no no no and then she

00:27:51.280 goes go back i'm like oh shit beach okay okay you know um it's very interesting burton that's so

00:27:59.840 interesting that that's a thing i wonder i saw i just saw tiktok it was the cutest thing ever but it

00:28:04.380 was a it was a baby he looked like he'd been like three or four but he loves the nightmare before

00:28:08.740 christmas and he's memorized the whole intro and all the words of the song i sent it to my mom because

00:28:13.500 she loves watching babies love things yeah oh it's like when babies love things my mom loves to watch

00:28:18.440 them oh you miss your baby oh my god my brother was because my brother my sister and i are two

00:28:23.840 years apart my brother's nine years younger than me wow three total yes god bless because we we

00:28:29.780 weren't planned he was so that's why the age gap's a little big neither of you were planned no ah and

00:28:35.480 my mom said and i and my mom tells me to this day she tells me and i was on two forms of birth

00:28:39.700 control with you dang and i said well it worked out yeah man you needed me turns out that's right

00:28:45.280 that was essential to the timeline turns out we love god said no girl said no you need to have

00:28:53.400 this one trust me but yeah that's right god passed the second gate we're in we're in incredible yeah

00:29:00.680 so my your bro's nine years younger yes so i like he was like our baby because like we all are you

00:29:07.720 older than dayson no she's older than me yeah she's two years older than me so he's 11 years younger

00:29:12.720 yeah so he was like our first baby like he was all of our baby like me my mom that's such a

00:29:18.440 blessing right and i was like for him it probably sucks but for us it was awesome no way he's like

00:29:22.740 mommy mommy mommy he loved it yeah it's funny because my my fiancee has a younger brother he's

00:29:27.720 like six years younger than him and um but he's older than my brother and like when we talk about

00:29:34.540 i'm like oh so do you know how to like change diapers and stuff he was like no yeah i was like oh must

00:29:39.340 be nice i was like no i know how to change a diaper i know how to do bottles i know how to burp

00:29:46.060 all that stuff yeah i'm real good shout out to brian duhan this is a guy that you would think

00:29:50.100 is like just some guy who'd like put you to the side but my friend who's like long island as hell

00:29:55.960 he had three younger brothers and like changed their mother fucking diapers yeah yeah and now he's like

00:30:03.560 the dad of three kids he's spinning like basketball yeah he married one of my best friends jenna and

00:30:10.540 oh that's so they're killing it do hands long island i'm loving you miss you talk to you soon

00:30:15.300 they're not watching this no offense but um they're too busy with their that's all right i don't care

00:30:20.080 about you guys whatever just kidding it's just because they're busy just kidding that's all yeah

00:30:23.860 three kids okay yeah you know something about that i know i do i i feel like kids are so fun

00:30:31.860 like they're a lot but they're they're funny as hell like my brother my brother was one of the

00:30:38.160 funniest kids alive but that was just like i don't know what it was about him it was just something

00:30:42.440 he is a real like cartoony personality like so i remember when he was a kid once we picked him up

00:30:50.580 from peewee football and when we picked him up like it was my sister too it was me and my sister

00:30:56.320 and he was like telling my sister something he goes okay i need to tell you guys something um

00:31:01.880 grandpa can't come to my football games anymore mind you my grandfather only went to like a few

00:31:07.400 he would go to like the big ones and then we were like why and he goes well remember how i missed like

00:31:13.800 the game the other he missed a game and we like dason was telling him like hey like if anyone

00:31:19.120 he's like what do i tell people because like we we ditched it so we could do something fun

00:31:22.880 and he's like with him yeah yeah so he was like what do i tell my teammates i'm like my coach

00:31:29.340 and we were we were saying just say you had a family emergency right and he was like okay

00:31:34.300 so a kid asked him it wasn't even a coach because it's peewee football doesn't matter doesn't mean

00:31:38.880 anything and he was like the kid asked why'd you miss on saturday he's like oh i had a family

00:31:43.780 emergency and then he said well what was it mind you my brother's like nine so he could easily be

00:31:50.120 like i don't know but he goes my grandpa fell and broke his leg which is not true my grandpa's

00:31:55.980 never fallen and nor has he broken his leg and he goes he literally can't come to any more of my

00:31:59.760 games they're gonna find out i was lying oh my god and i was like it's it's all right it's not a big

00:32:04.080 deal i'll break the news to grandpa but i'm sure it'll be fine and also like it was the other grandpa

00:32:08.840 yeah like he can't think that far oops it's all right no worries for continuity i'll put it back

00:32:18.080 it's not gonna work santa was here

00:32:22.040 does she like anything else that's kind of strange um um it feels like it would make sense that your

00:32:30.860 daughter likes nightmare before the christmas love it i'm a scaredy i'm ooky spooky like you said i'm

00:32:36.540 scared so i'm like okay go girl um uh i don't know i i i maybe i'm not maybe i'm not judgmental

00:32:45.700 enough but i don't find anything strange for a three-year-old to like she's you know everything's

00:32:51.080 poopy obviously i'm like what are you eating she's like poopy i'm like um what's how was school she's

00:32:57.820 like poopy okay all right um she got that funny gene from you oh she's so funny um poopy is like

00:33:05.920 really big right now was she a big baby when she was born yeah she was seven pounds eight ounces

00:33:10.100 okay yeah love that yeah i was a large child how how how i was nine pounds 11 ounces oh my god

00:33:17.500 13 ounces okay chill out mom my mom goes 13 wow okay my brother was 10

00:33:25.860 one yeah 10 pounds one ounce oh my god yeah big babies incredible yeah big wow my dad's 6'6 so

00:33:34.880 that's why we're a large family oh my god i'm like i'm an ashkenazi jew and we tend to be shorter

00:33:40.440 so um seven pounds eight ounces was like enormous really big for us i was like this baby's huge

00:33:47.200 6'6 that's why y'all yeah my my fiance was 11 pounds like 13 ounces when he was born girl yeah

00:33:55.460 you should i will show i'll show you pictures after of what my fiance looked like as a toddler

00:34:01.160 that's a grown man wow like when he was wearing like tommy bahama button now i wish i was waking

00:34:06.760 that up i'm not making that up hilarious he didn't fit into shit he didn't fit into anything that is

00:34:11.200 insane yeah like when i remember when my mom was having her baby shower for my little brother

00:34:15.300 she was like no clothes like please don't buy me any clothes and it's because she knew my brother

00:34:19.300 was going to be enormous wow so he came out and he was wearing like what age clothing six to nine

00:34:25.580 months wow wow that's why she was like don't buy me any clothes because none of them are gonna fit

00:34:30.800 don't buy me any clothes it's so cute that you have those memories yeah his babyness and we're like

00:34:35.080 a part of it and such a helpful he was such a beautiful a beautiful baby like genuinely such a

00:34:40.120 beautiful baby but um true that's so sweet oh i know i'm gonna talk shit on him right now don't

00:34:46.020 worry um i remember when i i used to like pack his uh diaper bag and stuff and like oh my god yeah all

00:34:53.600 the time my sister and i would switch off like sometimes someone would do the backpack with all

00:34:57.240 the clothes and then someone would do the food so sweet right my poor mom was just like they were

00:35:01.640 both so busy and both my parents so we were like enlisted but we loved it because we i felt like i had a

00:35:05.980 and i remember my brother was the pickiest eater ever like he only ate three things forever dang even

00:35:14.200 when he ate apples the skin had to be peeled off of course like it was just insane pears skin off has

00:35:20.340 to be and i was i would like tell him like when you were a baby why am i dicing carrots julienne for

00:35:27.960 you yeah you're a useless baby and here i am car me in the fucking kitchen right right you know what i

00:35:34.320 mean yeah shouting at my line cooks that's right because my shit's not rare enough six years old

00:35:38.960 yeah yeah literally i was like i'm not even in 10th grade yet i'm in 5th grade i was 10 i think at the

00:35:43.820 time so i was like well but i it sounds like your baby's awesome i'll be honest yeah she's so cool you

00:35:49.840 can like see in my special how cool she is yeah i'm like lit up about it because i fucking love her

00:35:57.260 she's so cool how was the process of giving birth i'm curious um i had a i mean i'm like let's just

00:36:04.080 i'm an optimistic person yeah and i'm like so grateful to be alive in a weird baseline way

00:36:08.720 yeah um but i had a great time i had a great birth and oh that's good so your birth um typically or

00:36:15.380 yeah tends to typically like mirror your mom's okay so i asked my mom what my brother elliot's what

00:36:22.560 what giving birth to elliot was like because that's her first birth experience and this is my first

00:36:26.680 birth experience and um she was in labor for 36 hours and pushed for like 20 minutes and that

00:36:34.340 was pretty much my experience oh okay but like i was like really informed um more informed than she

00:36:40.280 was at the time oh my god when i was a baby it wasn't an option to know the baby's sex really crazy

00:36:47.880 so you couldn't know at all that you just find out once you were born we chose we chose not to know

00:36:53.020 okay no choice back then crazy um so i labored at home for 24 hours and i was like kind of partying

00:37:01.000 so you have to get to like 10 centimeters like your pussy opens up to 10 fucking centimeters which is

00:37:05.240 like fucking crazy it's enormous yeah nuts when you look at it in the diagram it's crazy you know

00:37:11.060 10 fucking centimeters um like that sandworm on dune you know like there's all those teeth in there

00:37:21.640 don't know it just watched it like over my husband's if you google it you'll laugh okay

00:37:25.200 um you couldn't remember the um sandworms in beetlejuice anybody great okay great um

00:37:33.680 girl hello still here that one no oh god um so uh oh yeah beetlejuice was rebooted you would know

00:37:43.380 it anyway so um so within that 24 hours i only got to two centimeters which is why i was like

00:37:50.060 pretty chill at home um if it had gotten open if i had opened up even more i'd be like

00:37:55.400 you know what i mean so like so the 24 hours i was like i'm just gonna take it easy and chill and i was

00:38:00.520 like i couldn't really sleep because i kept waking up with these contractions but like it was nice to

00:38:05.540 be home it was nice to eat because you know when you get to the hospital you can't eat yeah based on

00:38:09.080 like weird like 1920s hysteria his hospital shit yeah and then you gotta poop yeah um yeah i think i

00:38:17.020 pooped a little but it wasn't like as big a deal as um it's real normal that's what yeah it's real

00:38:21.280 normal you're like using your all the force you have in your pelvic floor of course you're gonna poop a

00:38:25.000 little bit you're gonna poop yeah um but then after 24 hours i went to the hospital

00:38:28.940 hospital and got an epidural scariest part of the birth i was like weeping really shaking my

00:38:34.720 husband's like hugging and holding me i'm like so so scared it's like oh a needle in the in the

00:38:41.780 base of my fucking spine i don't like it um but okay i got past that and then um 12 hours later

00:38:50.240 before before i got any like shit to open it up like i opened up to nine centimeters over those 12 hours

00:38:56.760 but wasn't feeling all the pain that would have come if i hadn't gotten the epidural yeah and then

00:39:00.720 it was like seven in the morning we gave me a kiss of pitocin to be like okay let's go to the 10th

00:39:06.580 centimeter and it was like 15 minutes four pushes so there's like space you know minutes yeah i'm sure

00:39:12.380 you know this um more than i did but like minutes between it's like one minute of a contraction and the

00:39:18.540 opportunity to push but then these breaks of like four minutes in between yeah so it was like four

00:39:24.380 pushes the first push shout out to dr cha dr laura cha fucking bad bitch um first first push she spun

00:39:31.980 my baby um upward so her head and like nose were down by my anus my anus and she twisted it up so

00:39:41.140 the nose was up toward the clit honestly and um where the head's supposed to be and then you know got

00:39:47.280 the head out and my baby was like she's like her fucking head out of my i mean i didn't see it i'm just

00:39:51.180 like imagining and then um and then got one shoulder out on the second on the third push out

00:39:56.920 of four and then the fourth push it was like here we go boom and she was like such a little athlete

00:40:01.680 this like petite like woman she's like come on go go you know it's like so i was like i don't do sports

00:40:07.160 this is like miraculous to me it was like really fun oh that's so good though i'm glad you had a good

00:40:13.460 experience yeah that's great me too i'm really lucky because maternal care uh varies wildly in

00:40:19.720 this country and black women are the most at risk yeah totally like crazy at risk and it is a like

00:40:26.440 truly risky process having a child bearing like giving birth to a child is so that's right

00:40:33.060 dangerous to for anyone who gives birth that's right do you know serena williams's birth story

00:40:37.700 no it is so crazy and it highlights the the uh systemic dangers created for black women to give

00:40:45.280 birth yeah the greatest american athlete i mean ever ever ever ever ever truly um was like not being

00:40:54.520 heard not being listened to about blood clots and she had not only she had experience but the instinct

00:40:59.860 she was like no i'm definitely experiencing this right now they're like serena williams why would you

00:41:04.100 know anything about your body she was like no give me she told them the medicine to give yeah she told

00:41:08.860 them the procedure to do you know she she told the medical professionals how to care for her and she

00:41:13.900 otherwise could have died if she didn't speak up for herself like that that's fucking insane it is

00:41:18.540 fucking insane it's crazy i feel like it's such a um it's so normalized too where it's like well you

00:41:26.980 don't know actually i think i would because i'm in the body you're looking at so like you would think

00:41:33.960 you would think listening to women when they tell you hey this hurts or this is wrong you'd be like

00:41:39.080 well maybe i should look into it yeah instead of just assuming every every woman especially women

00:41:43.840 of color are fucking stupid yeah it's nuts it's that's why it's so valuable that you have that

00:41:48.900 experience um with your baby brother yeah and like i babysat as in my special i talk about um i got like

00:41:54.500 big titties young so i looked older and i was babysitting at nine i was like nine years old i was like

00:41:59.980 i can do this i was like a bus boy at 11 fully um it was like off the books if you don't believe it

00:42:05.880 and uh and it's really useful to have that experience because you're so told that you don't

00:42:11.800 know so to get that experience young you can like be confident early totally especially like my mom is

00:42:18.180 so um my mom is a huge advocate for like no something's wrong check again like i've like watched

00:42:25.260 my mom do that beautiful our entire lives oh when i was a kid god bless you and assess these strong

00:42:31.420 women when i was a kid i went through like a phase where i was really sleepy and i bruised really

00:42:36.780 easily when i was a baby which is a sign of leukemia uh especially how baby how young were you i was

00:42:42.060 like probably like five so i was like four or five oh my gosh look 10 though i was huge i was a ginormous

00:42:49.060 child i can't stress that enough it was a very large child uh but my mom like i would bruise very easily

00:42:54.180 and i was always tired like i was sleeping all the time i'm like getting nervous yeah and then my mom

00:42:59.080 took me to the doctor and they were like i think she's fine and then my mom was like check again

00:43:03.200 like she just kept saying check again and then when they checked again i was severely anemic so

00:43:08.720 that's why i was just low in iron thankfully and i'm still really anemic to this day however

00:43:13.000 wow do i take care of it well that's a question for another time that's what you're gonna do while

00:43:17.520 you're not making tiktoks is check on your anemia manage my anemia that's right can i ask like mom

00:43:22.560 guidance when drew tells this story is it within the same session where you're like you check that

00:43:27.100 again within the same session or you came back in the same session wow cool yeah because you didn't

00:43:33.180 read the fucking meter right the first time what the fuck are you talking about great i really

00:43:38.980 appreciate that well that's what makes me laugh because my mom is not a doctor my mom just knows

00:43:43.320 her child so that's why my mom's like no just check again right what's it gonna cost you check again

00:43:47.540 i love it yeah so wow it's actually so important i think like you said to be exposed to other women

00:43:55.000 and like women telling their stories about advocating for themselves that's right moments especially and

00:43:59.940 that's also why it's important to have women in the medical field that's right of all different

00:44:03.620 ethnicities because then you can work with someone who makes you feel more comfortable i feel more

00:44:08.200 comfortable working with women yeah so that's why sometimes when i hear that some women or anyone any who

00:44:13.540 likes to see a gynecologist has a male one i'm always kind of like yeah no yeah no it's different

00:44:20.760 yeah it's different i feel more comfortable i was like i don't even feel comfortable talking to a

00:44:24.240 strange man let alone getting in stirrups in front of one that's i ain't doing that yeah but that's good

00:44:30.640 i'm glad your birthing experience was so yeah positive yeah that's so wonderful very um lucky that it

00:44:36.940 was that way how was the aftercare was that part it was that experience i know you talked about that

00:44:41.120 in your special too is that experience um it was new uh what do i talk about in my special in my

00:44:46.380 special i guess i talk about the anxiety growing as my love grows for this baby and that being

00:44:50.540 fucking insane and then i want to like put her back into my pussy like sometimes i'm like you want to

00:44:56.160 just go back the fuck in and like cook a little longer let's do it again i miss being one um but my

00:45:02.540 after experience was good i just took it slow and easy and i really planned for myself to have many

00:45:08.560 as many months as i could before like re-entering work and um taking great care of myself i was in

00:45:16.020 a diaper i was like pissing myself you know for a while for like a couple weeks my question for you

00:45:21.140 was going to be uh what was the silliest thing you noticed after either while you were shocking or

00:45:26.100 after shocking silly hilarious yeah okay because when you said shocking i was like um think of

00:45:32.240 something not silly not funny it because because i was like i'm excited to tell you this because it

00:45:36.440 was shocking i tried to work out this bit so many times we were talking about the process

00:45:40.480 of stand-up and i i really tried so many times to uh include the following bit in this hour but it

00:45:47.240 just didn't work and i'm going to do it as um like a video as like an instagram reel because also i was

00:45:53.300 incorporating like pictures on a screen i just didn't want to deal with that yeah the milk coming in

00:45:58.440 was shocking a shocking hilarious only in retrospect yeah so fucking funny and absurd and absurd like

00:46:14.820 nearly sci-fi with these titties too right nearly sci-fi level of comedy that um audiences were confused

00:46:21.960 so wasn't it right and also it was like cartoon titties it looked i looked like jessica rabbit

00:46:28.560 and and they were on your tiny frame is crazy yeah and it was like is this hot and i was like no you

00:46:35.840 know like i just couldn't understand i like would ask like is this sexual you know it was bizarre yeah

00:46:43.000 like um basketballs cantaloupes like nuts like two mixing bowls on your chest yes exactly and it was

00:46:51.120 like so you know the systemically being um uh removed from our own knowledge about our bodies

00:46:57.900 and our own process of giving life how we got here yeah um i didn't know about milk coming in and

00:47:03.580 and my in the middle of the night my um i like can't breathe and my heart is racing and i'm like

00:47:11.820 i guess i'm having a postpartum heart attack but just a typical american postpartum heart attack like

00:47:17.340 i'm like this is definitely a thing that no one talks about yeah and then i have a i in the morning

00:47:22.360 i can't sleep i i have a huge migraine and thank god my best friend eden came over and was able to

00:47:30.340 explain to me my husband my husband's a scientist he's a phd in biology he's like neither of us

00:47:37.120 neither of us knew what the fuck was going on my milk was coming in to my milk ducts in my titties

00:47:43.920 and at first it's like a more um more solid thing before it becomes like thin drinkable milk yeah and

00:47:52.600 you have to like massage it out of your titties under hot water with like a washcloth yeah and

00:47:57.600 before i knew that it was like literally caving my heart my work it was like my chest was like being

00:48:03.820 the the weight of these titties was crushing me crushing me true by your only for your own

00:48:10.480 crushed by my only titties said et tu brute yeah

00:48:14.120 and i was like okay well that helps and then like getting it out and like making the milk i was like

00:48:21.860 well that was crazy i can't even imagine god for eden who had already had had a baby and is a medical

00:48:27.440 professional and a woman um she was able to walk you through it yeah thank god yes if my best friend

00:48:34.480 was like that too i'd be like get your ass over here and explain this to me i know it was like

00:48:38.440 just luck but i like really would have um maybe had a had an issue yeah an actual heart attack from

00:48:45.520 fear that's what i'm talking about but then i was like should i not say it because of i don't know

00:48:48.500 what like i don't know but um yeah that was the most shocking thing that i actually had to cut

00:48:53.620 from this hour i can't even imagine yeah especially having like especially when they balloon like that

00:48:59.260 too they just get enormous it's like it's like kind of like obvious what's happening but it's also

00:49:03.680 like you just don't realize like the function and how to get it out well yeah and the feeling

00:49:07.760 probably doesn't feel like what you would imagine however you could try to imagine it sheer panic

00:49:12.700 yeah sheer panic yeah immediately how was breastfeeding for you i know it's very mixed

00:49:18.840 across the board yes it can be like super traumatic super upsetting um you know again i'm an optimistic

00:49:26.400 person it was fucking lit yeah it's fucking dope that's good i'm glad to hear it incredible i was

00:49:31.500 like holy shit you know my whole as i say in my special my like when my baby was laid on my chest

00:49:37.340 i said those three magic words to her holy fucking shit that was my that's been my experience i'm just

00:49:43.160 like holy fucking shit there's milk coming on my titties and you're eating it that's crazy dude and

00:49:48.520 it's like helping you not get sick like this is fucking cool i saw a tiktok recently where a girl

00:49:55.620 was talking about she's a um like a birthing coach like a doula and stuff like that but she

00:50:00.640 was saying the the number one thing she always gets calls about is the smell like she was like

00:50:05.320 and i don't mean like from the afterbirth because like that smells gnarly too but she's like but your

00:50:10.040 body just emits these odors that are foreign to you and she was like like and i get mom new moms

00:50:16.940 calling me all the time being like is something fucking wrong with me wow and i talked to someone

00:50:21.000 recently i forget who's a mom and she was telling me yeah dude my pits were nuts oh it was my hair

00:50:26.420 extension girl hysterical yeah i love her she's a new mom yeah but she was telling me like she goes

00:50:32.300 my pits like i would put on deodorant and be like this thing's broken like i need another one wow and

00:50:38.220 she was like but then you find out it's because your baby needs to send you like so it's to help your

00:50:42.740 baby find you essentially you're just like a dog i know it's just the most it feels so animalistic but

00:50:48.260 it's also so natural yes it's very natural we like we try to separate ourselves from the animal

00:50:53.100 kingdom so hard and it's like we're pretty much mostly animals yeah like can like giggle yeah

00:50:58.000 you know what i mean like dogs don't exactly have cognitive thought yeah we like dance we giggle

00:51:02.060 um i mean dolphins fuck for pleasure it's like we're not even alone in this we're not even unique

00:51:08.000 in that sense no um our evil may be unique but other than that um you know so um i don't really

00:51:17.160 remember the smell of afterbirth being gross i definitely remember like sweating my balls off

00:51:22.260 yeah i think she's just like hormones just like your hormones change like it's like and it was

00:51:26.740 cool purely for your babies to find you like it was like yeah in her little pits and she's like doing

00:51:31.760 your hair do you like new baby smell a lot of people love baby smell like their heads and their breath

00:51:38.100 yeah seen that too yeah i i love it i love new baby everything it's like scary i don't really

00:51:45.560 yearn to hold other people's new new newborn babies i find it a little scary yeah unless i'm like seated

00:51:52.460 with a pillow like it's it's nerve-wracking yeah with your own baby and like also like um my best

00:51:58.020 friend lives two doors down from me and our babies are best friends oh i love that we went to

00:52:03.100 paper school together and camp together and she was um her son is a few months uh younger than my

00:52:11.020 daughter um so when we brought my baby home we were all she was really pregnant and we were all like

00:52:16.100 like very nervous it's like a new new baby that's so exciting though you're doing the journey together

00:52:23.080 how fucking cool yeah i'm very lucky i love that my uh my manager and his fiancee they just had a baby

00:52:29.600 too their first time parents and when i got to meet their baby who's i call my nephew that white

00:52:35.180 baby is my nephew for sure he is but when i met him i met him a few months ago in person for the

00:52:40.580 first time and i was holding he is so fucking cute like just the most adorable baby but he was looking

00:52:46.200 at me real like like you know what i mean like he was just staring at me so intensely before he started

00:52:52.120 crying and i was like they were like i'm sorry he's i don't know why he's looking like that because

00:52:57.780 he was like very like pensive looking at me and i was telling him because i was the first one to

00:53:03.260 hold them because like my fiancee was there my sister my cousin and i was like am i the first

00:53:07.800 brown person this baby has met and then they were like um i think so because he's like not that old

00:53:15.480 he's only like he's like six or seven months i said that's okay i only ask because believe it or

00:53:19.840 not this is not the first time this has happened to me got it i have held a white baby before that was

00:53:23.160 very afraid of me he was like who you yeah he was just like you don't look like the other ones i've

00:53:27.580 seen yeah and he's just curious i told him don't worry he'll sent me he'll he'll know i'm right i'll

00:53:32.660 hold it like a dog i'm not yeah just give him a little just get in there i promise you just need a

00:53:38.520 little more time with them i'll be obsessed but now now he likes me now he loves me oh please i make

00:53:43.680 it my mission for all babies to love me love it yeah and then i i buy them fun stuff i feed them

00:53:49.300 things their parents don't give them and then i send them home it's similar to an online following

00:53:54.640 right you know absolutely sort of like loving them making them like you giving them what they

00:54:00.340 can't get elsewhere and then being like goodnight okay goodbye yeah and go back home to your mom and

00:54:06.100 dad yeah okay so i'll do one tiktok if that's cool with you do whatever the fuck you want but we are

00:54:14.680 talking about like awful men online who like believe everything having to do with raising children

00:54:19.040 having children is all solely falls on the uh on the mother which is uh not surprising but it is

00:54:27.400 what it is right this first video in this video a clip from a man on a podcast says if you're a dude

00:54:33.380 you need to make money if you're a female you need to nurture and support is it a father's job to come

00:54:39.060 home and make sure the kids are fed well no and that's it that's that's the end of the clip uh thoughts

00:54:46.200 on that advice well first i want to um say that you have uh a strength in being able to confront

00:54:54.980 this kind of vitriol oh thank you and stomach it in a way that i don't i don't have the that's not

00:55:04.300 part of my skill set yeah so i want to commend you on having that um the time the time and yeah there's a

00:55:13.180 a brute force you need to do to confront that absolutely um second of all i you know uh i don't

00:55:22.060 know i think i don't know i'm not mad i'm like you know this person's worldview is limited they haven't

00:55:29.780 been exposed to different kinds of family setups it sounds like yeah and um you know i also

00:55:39.860 i'm like i i i'm finding compassion but not like forcing it but like i'm feeling i'm feeling

00:55:46.520 compassion yeah and it's like i have compassion for uh us poor little humans who are knowing and

00:55:56.760 seeing more than we're really meant to and having trouble making sense of it right so it sounds to me

00:56:03.660 like someone who's having trouble making sense of the world that is naturally unfolding and doesn't

00:56:09.840 have the resources that's not 1950s mad men the show yeah and it's like rude and annoying and like

00:56:16.300 not cool and i and it's so boring it's boring and i'm like i don't want to interview you know this is

00:56:21.820 not somebody i want to hang out with exactly um which is what is the loss for them that they're

00:56:27.760 actually feeling t yeah that's very true yeah i'm sad for this and like also somebody just said

00:56:33.540 manosphere yesterday i was like the what and then i was like oh yeah and it's just like you know i

00:56:40.900 don't i mean again i'm optimistic but i just don't think i think that's a minority of um people who

00:56:46.900 identify as men no you're actually so right that's actually very true i've talked about that online

00:56:52.400 because sometimes people will ask me things like um are you just like this all the time like do you

00:56:57.680 just act like this all the time and i always am shocked to get that question because i immediately

00:57:02.100 say no because i don't hang out with people i fucking hate right i've never seen people like

00:57:07.480 that like to that extent have i met misogynists in my life of course i fucking have um because i'm

00:57:12.720 i wasn't born literally yesterday so i obviously i've experienced that in the wild but i don't spend a

00:57:19.140 lot of time with people like that so and they're struggling with that loss yeah and they're

00:57:24.840 watching you even if they're doing like hate bullshit it's like but you're like watching me

00:57:29.440 yeah it's yeah it's very it's like you're exactly you're here aren't you it's very similar to like

00:57:34.840 when when people when i'm like i if you're a bigoted person i don't want you to follow me

00:57:39.000 right yeah and they're like we can't be friends i don't know why you want to be my friend

00:57:44.960 i don't want to be yours like that's where i'm like i see like i don't want that but for some

00:57:50.780 it's like what you said they want that for whatever reason like and i really think that if

00:57:55.180 people like that who follow you who really agree with you think you're beautiful think you're funny

00:58:01.160 and want to spend time with you but say hateful shit i'm pretty sure they don't have access they

00:58:07.560 don't their basic needs are not being met totally and they're taking it out on an easy target being

00:58:13.620 that the script says that young women are worthless yeah but it's like i think it's just that their

00:58:18.920 basic needs aren't being met yeah and i really blame it on the growing wealth gap yeah the system

00:58:24.040 i really blame it on the system which is getting worse yeah like the rich are getting richer the poor

00:58:28.440 getting poorer yeah it's um i have this bit in my special i talk about my husband is like a good guy

00:58:33.960 he's such a fucking good guy phd can't buy a shirt alone unable to purchase a top alone

00:58:42.140 and if he watches this which he doesn't consume a lot of content so no we'll add it to the list

00:58:47.800 of busy parents don't take it personally but like i have to say the last time he he bought some clothing

00:58:54.760 i was like waiting outside with our napping child so like i consider that support you know i mean i wasn't

00:58:59.500 in there like buttoning it up yeah but um yeah there's like i have this bit about guys versus men

00:59:05.780 like um guys help you move men stand in your way getting a job you know um guys wear gray sweatpants

00:59:14.100 to get groceries yeah men wear jeans to the gym and i'm talking about like guys as like good guys who

00:59:20.160 are like yeah i'll get down with it yeah versus men as an institution you know yeah and um like most men

00:59:27.300 are just like i think at least they're guys and then a lot of them are good guys t but then the

00:59:33.840 men are like wow wow wow wow it's just like okay you don't feel heard yeah you're represented in every

00:59:42.740 fucking commercial tv show movie girl you're not only the hero but you're the underdog you're getting

00:59:48.460 girls who are way hotter than you that you'd never get in real life without the money like you as a like

00:59:53.880 not money get the you know it's just like it's a it's very like oh oh yet another reason i gotta

00:59:59.820 think about you added to my growing tab well that's right and it's like it's forced whether

01:00:03.960 it's like forced through sexual force or simply airspace get out of my fucking brain girl i don't

01:00:10.720 need you in my fucking head and that's why i'm like a happy person because i just don't even i'm just

01:00:15.760 like i don't like i don't even consider it real the manosphere is not real to me you know it's um

01:00:21.180 but i i also feel compassion where i'm like man people are confused and are not having their basic

01:00:26.680 needs met and um being tricked yeah into fighting fighting a different enemy it's like yeah they're

01:00:32.320 distracting you from the real enemy kind of thing right that's actually so it's so funny you say that

01:00:36.780 because literally yesterday i was talking to my fiancee about that because i forget what we were talking

01:00:41.740 about but it was something along the lines of like when he gets up like let's say we're hanging out in

01:00:48.380 mixed company right and he gets up does that mean we're just the 80s what's next company to you

01:00:54.660 mixed company to me is like it's like besties family it's like very random assortment of people

01:00:59.500 i thought you i didn't know if you meant politically mixed culturally mixed i meant like just just like

01:01:04.000 different levels yeah different levels yeah exactly like a party setting that's like something like a

01:01:08.300 republican says when like a progressive person comes i think mixed yeah yeah i think tonight we're

01:01:13.440 gonna be among mixed company if i was if i was white and i said that i would i would believe you

01:01:17.780 you're saying like close yeah just like other adults everyone's kind of hanging out and he gets

01:01:24.140 levels of intimacy exactly and he gets up to get something and he asks like hey do you want to drink

01:01:29.060 while i'm up right like something simple like that and i go yeah that would be great and he brings

01:01:33.840 one or i don't he doesn't even ask me he just brings me something i love him stuff like that he my

01:01:38.860 my fiance was saying i think that's what makes a man like what these men want to be perceived as

01:01:44.700 that's right it's little shit like that it's it's thoughtfulness like mindfulness pleasing a woman

01:01:49.640 exactly it's like being kind is is like what where it's at right and i think that fits in your guys

01:01:55.160 versus men debate right right when they want to talk about what women need they almost always talk about

01:01:59.840 protect like physically protecting women like they would kill someone to which i'm like right i've seen

01:02:05.460 other strange men be around me when i'm getting objectified and do nothing believe it or not i

01:02:10.560 don't fucking believe you that you won't protect shit you don't even do that like that's right

01:02:13.800 you bang on about protection and you can't even do that right because they think that taking sex makes

01:02:18.840 them real exactly rather than giving a woman an orgasm exactly exactly you know and they're talking

01:02:24.560 over a woman rather than like hearing her and exactly you don't even have to agree but just like

01:02:29.300 let's have a fucking conversation i don't want to just listen to your dumb shit like i want to talk

01:02:33.720 back and forth like two people you know yeah like so yeah so guys versus men for me is like good guys

01:02:39.120 versus like men as an institution but yes a real man yeah totally different thing and like i thought

01:02:44.040 the other thing i thought of was like when for example if i'm not home and i'm like working

01:02:49.840 and my sister needs things moved like my fiance will just go to the house and move it for her like he's

01:02:56.720 like well i can do it yeah like or like my dad and my fiance it was funny because my cousin and his

01:03:03.020 husband they got these like their furniture things from diptyque i don't know how the fuck they were

01:03:09.200 just like they said we could have them they're free and you guys can have one too if you help us

01:03:12.540 said we could have these girl don't even get me started that's a whole other story that we don't

01:03:17.100 have time for diptyque said we could have these you know diptyque as mr dipty you know him anthropomorphized

01:03:25.280 mr dick hilarious okay okay i'm yeah like three question marks exactly they basically were like

01:03:32.600 if you come with us they're gonna they're changing out the store they said we could have the furniture

01:03:36.500 whatever oh i love and so that is a scheme right exactly and my my fiancee and my dad are like the

01:03:44.500 biggest dudes ever and they're they sound huge yeah they're huge and they can pick things up very

01:03:48.520 easily when i tell you this furniture atlas stone bitch i don't that thing was three thousand

01:03:53.840 wow wow wow and like there's eight of us like incredible yeah there's eight of us half of us are

01:03:58.900 women right identifies women and then my little brother who's he's strong but not as strong as them

01:04:03.620 he's like i'm the baby yeah and then my my cousin and his husband who like they were like well like

01:04:09.520 well we're there and at one point it was just my dad and my fiancee carrying everything and they were

01:04:15.320 like it's actually faster if you guys just get out of the way right it's actually faster if you just

01:04:18.300 open the door i talk about this in my special where i'm like it's so uneven for like the first two years

01:04:21.980 it's so um mother focused in opposite sex couples yeah but dads can carry ship right and you just load

01:04:27.740 them up like a mountain dog you know a rescue mountain dog and they're like

01:04:30.680 you're like good daddy i know that's why that's what i said that's the type of shit to me that

01:04:37.440 makes a man 100 and i'm like go man yeah go you fucking male-bodied individual

01:04:42.440 i'll cheer you on all i want i love it i love it carry my shit carry me

01:04:47.620 i love it i love that but your dad and fiancee uh your fiancee sounds wonderful he is he's fantastic

01:04:54.460 he's really gorgeous one of my first videos well the first video i ever made that went viral i was

01:05:01.540 talking about him but i was saying how for valentine's day he bought me um six months worth

01:05:08.080 of nail appointments with my now private nail tech because i well i had never said i wanted that but

01:05:13.820 he bitch i'm dying yeah he did all the research on his own i'm dying yeah like this incredible that

01:05:21.300 is the girliest fucking gift right obsessed and it was like obsessed he took pictures of my nails

01:05:26.960 like he zoomed in on pictures of my nails and like pictures of me and was showing them dying and he was

01:05:31.300 like she likes this shape she likes this these kinds of designs his name's peely you know what i think

01:05:39.460 also is the mark of a real man it is a man who can genuinely laugh with a woman tea that's there are a

01:05:47.460 lot of men who are like oh please i'm confident i'm confident about my fucking comedy i'm a funny

01:05:53.380 fucking bitch amen and i know when i'm being fucking funny and there are men who are like

01:05:59.120 like they're fighting the urge not even fighting not not even fighting they're confused they're

01:06:04.300 they do think it's funny but they don't you know if if they receive it then that's a feminine role

01:06:09.840 laughing laughter fully it is so feminine to laugh to receive like and i and i'm it's not even like

01:06:18.540 you know it's it's but when men who can like crack up that is like oh my god that's actually so true

01:06:24.180 my husband fucking rocks i love we are like we're like lately and like you know the silent fucking

01:06:30.300 shoulder laugh like as we've been together for 12 and a half years and like eight how long have you

01:06:36.840 guys been together uh eight years they're going on eight years yeah god bless you yeah that's so

01:06:41.980 sweet and we've known each other like over 15 years i'm just deceased i'm thrilled i live so glad

01:06:50.240 god bless my little baby youtubers i'm obsessed with you and i'm proud of you and god bless you okay

01:06:56.380 so you've known each other for a long time and like as like as the sort of layers of time stack

01:07:06.480 on top of you and you're just like surrendering to them like david and i lately we have just been

01:07:10.980 doing like my grandma harriet used to um have giggle fits and then it got passed down to my dad and to

01:07:15.520 me sometimes like uncontrollable where i'm like i don't know what's gonna happen after like you might

01:07:20.360 have to wheel me out of here but like grandma harriet like giggle fits my husband and i just like

01:07:24.080 laughing silently and like shaking and it's just like that is a real fucking man that's so true i love it i

01:07:30.320 love him that's so true i want to to that same point i know i have to wrap soon to that same point

01:07:35.160 though i went to a rams game this past weekend they asked me to come and i was like sports yeah

01:07:39.780 so i took my fiancee and we took our friends who are a couple too and they love the rams and so we

01:07:44.940 went had a blast dope uh but they put me on the jumbotron and the first time they did it they told

01:07:50.520 me to dance and so i did and i was dancing my ass off because they told me to and then they thought

01:07:55.560 it was funny so they kept coming back to me to film me and then the last time they filmed me by myself

01:08:00.180 and they just told me to dance as hard as i could like however i wanted love it so i was dancing my

01:08:05.700 ass off in the clip that they took because so many people recorded it and the rams ended up putting it

01:08:10.380 on their instagram but it's a clip of me dancing my ass off and my fiancee's laughing his ass off and

01:08:17.660 when i say i was like when i tell you i got that bitch giggling i mean that shit i love it laughed him

01:08:23.680 right out of those pants you know what i mean yes i do it's like my main um my that's my favorite

01:08:29.420 thing when i really get him good i always laugh like i'm like i got i get him so good sometimes i

01:08:34.280 get him really good yeah i'm like yeah yeah and then sometimes he gets me and then we laugh together

01:08:38.720 it's the best oh my god that's when you said me and my husband lately we've been yeah just those

01:08:43.840 fucking shoulder giggles oh my god that's my main in right the pants you know what i mean that's like

01:08:50.180 what i got you and me both girl yeah you and me both oh like to that last one for real this time

01:08:55.800 when i was first dating my my man this was before we were official and before we said i love you so

01:09:03.040 it's probably like a couple months in precarious i was hanging out with him and his friends at the

01:09:08.100 time like it was like these dudes at the time and he they're not friends anymore because they suck but

01:09:13.580 like at the time they didn't so we were all hanging out and my man likes to do this thing where he does

01:09:19.000 word association so if you say some like something that reminds him of something else he'll just say

01:09:25.040 it out loud love and he finds it funny every time my family and i have done that forever and for some

01:09:31.560 reason we were like oh love that right like we both do it and someone said the word leash in the

01:09:38.020 conversation and then he goes leash maniasis and out loud right i don't know what that means your

01:09:44.340 husband might because he's a scientist yeah we'll see get this i do know what leash maniasis is how

01:09:50.360 i don't know but at the table this is again two months in there's a smart girl he goes leash maniasis

01:09:55.400 and i go did you say leash maniasis and he goes do you know what that is i go yeah it's a flesh-eating

01:10:00.380 disease you get from a spider and then he goes i knew i liked you and i said yeah laughed out of

01:10:06.320 those pants bitch because he was laughing and he was like i knew you were the one i'm thrilled i'm

01:10:12.340 fucking thrilled big nerd alert yeah let me know if your nerd husband knows what leash maniasis is i'll

01:10:17.540 text him right after this well thank you so much for coming on the comment section thank you for having

01:10:23.460 you are truly an icon and a legend thank you so much and i'm just like so pleased thrilled and inspired

01:10:30.100 by your feminism thank you thank you for it thank you so much you are so smart and powerful and i'm

01:10:37.580 so into it and i thank you thank you and i i really do that means a lot to me especially coming from you

01:10:42.940 i truly admire you like as a comic as an actress just in general an entertainer i think you're

01:10:49.180 wonderful and fantastic and i'm honored to have had you on the show thank you forever thank you sister

01:10:54.500 i'm uh i'm here bitch well thank you so much for coming on the show thank you all for watching

01:11:00.800 for those who maybe were born yesterday and don't know you and don't know where to follow you where

01:11:05.620 can everybody find you you can find me at alana i-l-a-n-a on instagram alanaglazer.com

01:11:10.860 i-l-a-n-a-g-l-a-z-e-r.com and make sure you check out alana's new special it comes out this week

01:11:16.700 that's right yes human magic on hulu and disney plus worldwide see you there period we love it thank

01:11:22.640 you so much for tuning into this episode thank you so much for my amazing guest alana glazer

01:11:27.040 don't forget new episodes of the comment section drop every wednesday you can stream the audio on

01:11:31.200 all streaming platforms but the video lives for free and exclusively on our favorite platform

01:11:35.000 spotify make sure y'all check out alana glazer and check out her new special which comes out

01:11:39.760 december 20th on hulu and disney plus it's gonna be hilarious it's already so hilarious i can't wait to

01:11:45.520 hear it like full in its full form thanks amil and thank you so much for joining us thank you all for

01:11:50.220 watching and i'll see you next week bye

01:11:52.120 bye

WE’RE ANIMALS THAT CAN GIGGLE Ft. Ilana Glazer ｜ Episode 149

Summary

Transcript