The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

00:00:00.000 one time someone took a picture with me she was like girl like i'd love to take a picture i'm like

00:00:04.700 okay cool and she takes a picture with me and she turns around and then she tells her friends

00:00:10.000 i don't know who the f**k she is she's on tiktok or something i was like you couldn't wait till i

00:00:14.640 was at a earshaw until you said that hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment

00:00:24.380 section show starring me your favorite girl in the entire world you don't have to tell me we already

00:00:29.160 know and today i am joined by one of my all-time favorite people on tiktok one of the funniest

00:00:35.620 bitches alive adeep she says i don't feel special it doesn't make it any less true i just feel like

00:00:44.080 you say every time you know what's funny is i handpick everybody you think i could everyone

00:00:49.960 you think i could put someone who's not funny on my show okay i'll take it get out of here

00:00:54.560 that my back would ache from carrying this load by myself there's no way i'm so happy to have you

00:00:59.880 screw the way my chin just touched it i'm so sorry if you heard that sorry i'm you're honestly you're

00:01:06.400 so funny i'm screw i love that about you also i'm obsessed with your wall thank you thank you but i'm

00:01:12.080 honestly so excited to be here she's taller than me i'm very upset about that yeah and she wore

00:01:16.000 platforms it's honestly fine how tall are you i'm five four are you really i was gonna say no way

00:01:21.520 you're taller than that i'm five nine yeah see everyone and like one quarter no i'm kidding i

00:01:25.780 don't know i don't know everyone thinks i'm five four google says i'm five no she's honestly i think

00:01:31.760 what seven foot three me and shack are about eye level so yeah i'm six feet on him like you look down

00:01:39.700 on him yeah on his bald head i love me i love me a bald head stop listen contrary to what other

00:01:47.080 people may say my dad's bald so i can talk about bald people i'm screaming he gave me a pass he said

00:01:52.820 you can do this and i said okay thanks i'm honestly i'm scared of balding personally my dad was bald by

00:01:57.780 19 so i feel great like sending you good vibes though honestly i pray every day like it's honestly

00:02:05.400 fine you know like my prayer beads are on it's honestly fine i don't remember when you and i

00:02:13.480 started following each other but i do know it was pretty fairly early yeah i remember both of our

00:02:19.360 tiktok journeys i remember like you made a video that was literally like my roommate came into my

00:02:24.700 room she was just like why are you dying no you don't understand like oh my god which one i was

00:02:30.020 like bro like zinger zinger zinger it's so good i love that i'm not creative with jokes like that

00:02:36.440 like i could never but you you swear you're so funny though no but i can't do like you know like

00:02:43.260 setting up like punchline joke yeah yeah yeah never i could know i'm so bad at that i just like

00:02:48.320 recounting it yourself in your own way like i did stand up in college and i did the first one went

00:02:53.460 really well like really yeah because i just got run over so i was just lots of material to build up

00:02:58.960 you know what i mean we had a whole bank to pull from i just gotten run over so i just like really

00:03:06.200 had it in me you know what i mean everyone was like die laughing i was like oh my god maybe i'm

00:03:10.080 kevin hart now i'm fresh off a hit and run no literally what if you just constantly went but

00:03:17.200 came back so it's like fine what if you just constantly went to get hit by cars no you're just

00:03:22.240 hoping you get hit so that you can start over like twice in the same week yeah like by two

00:03:27.240 different cars but like three times total because the first car did run me over twice

00:03:31.200 she backed up on me no she was such a bitch for that like

00:03:35.140 she like kind of hate you and then kept going just yeah like she stopped on my foot and i was like

00:03:41.700 reverse reverse and she was just like oh and then went forwards and then i was like okay stop and

00:03:47.460 then she went back and i was like okay no you that was on purpose yeah the second time was for

00:03:51.440 good measure no literally she just wanted to end it like so you did stand up i just stayed up the

00:03:56.180 first time it was like great second time absolutely miserable like i was in tucson arizona

00:04:00.340 um with all white people that were like very old like retirement community so they like jokes like

00:04:07.140 and they were like my wife sorry i said the f word racist vibes probably yeah bigotry is their

00:04:13.940 type of humor i was just like sitting there and i was like i got run over they're like are you okay

00:04:17.360 i was like okay like i'm like is this thing like i was like i'm not coming hard i guess never mind and

00:04:24.280 i never did again i mean if it makes you feel any better i don't want to do stand up i get that i get

00:04:29.020 asked to do it all the time they're like you should do stand up and i'm always like no because i just

00:04:34.940 like i don't think every funny person can do stand up just because you're funny doesn't mean you

00:04:39.600 can do stand up because stand up's like a whole art like i it's not just that but it's like study it

00:04:44.260 and all that like punchline joke and timing like that's so much energy and like i don't know how

00:04:49.140 people can like like i don't know about you but i was scared in school to do a presentation i don't

00:04:53.760 know how you're doing a presentation in funny like a lot of energy but i wasn't i wasn't afraid to do

00:04:59.120 presentations really no never i don't know if you could tell by my demeanor i just thought it was

00:05:04.040 i'm not a very shy person okay i'm pretty up front and out there uh unfortunately for all the

00:05:12.200 terrible men period like i monetized it unfortunately for them but speaking of you getting hit hit by a

00:05:19.860 car multiple times that's a great segue into our topic for today today with adeem we're gonna talk

00:05:25.560 about storytelling because that's how you got big and before i started making stitches of dudes like

00:05:32.280 that's how i got big too like that's how the ball started rolling i was telling stories so like i

00:05:37.740 love a good story i love to exaggerate i love to give context like this is okay i hope this is like

00:05:44.060 not too controversial to say but like tana mojo like you know yeah yeah like old school like yeah

00:05:50.140 like i got yeah like like hooked and and just a little bit hilarious like i love the the extraness of

00:05:57.420 it all but yeah like i mean screaming it's tana mojo but you love to tell stories i love her me too

00:06:05.000 like i love that vibe and i feel like everyone that has that type of energy like you know tara's

00:06:09.940 world yeah she's so funny like i love people that like have that type of energy and like go for stories

00:06:14.860 yeah but oh my god i'm screaming you're so good at it though like i'm just saying like i literally i

00:06:20.540 like i can't i feel like no one cackles at my jokes or like my videos like i feel like everyone's just

00:06:25.380 like you know what i mean but like like a nose i laugh like i'm laughing like belly vibes

00:06:31.900 thanks babe and you have a cackle just like me so that's good at the way that that's literally my

00:06:39.900 top comment usually oh that you we laugh at drew she looks she you and her laugh the same you and her

00:06:46.700 like honestly oh my god so much twins i know i think that sometimes um sometimes people think

00:06:56.700 my laugh is not real like they think it's like you're faking jokes yeah she's not it's really i'm

00:07:02.400 really not i wish i was um i'm honestly like i kind of wish i could fake laugh on command i feel

00:07:09.020 like i would stomach so many more people i call it my white people laugh you know what i mean like

00:07:13.220 my customer service laugh like when when they make a joke and then i'm like oh my god that's

00:07:19.520 crazy no for sure anyways that's what my favorite every time i laugh like that my sister goes ew and i

00:07:25.900 was like i gotta keep conversation light and going like it doesn't like with older people i'm always

00:07:31.700 like i always do the old people laugh like like it's like a little chuckle yeah it's like a nose

00:07:39.220 laugh you have to go like like lots of mouth noises for no reason like i don't know sorry yeah they

00:07:45.360 don't really get those guffaws out of me but like i'm screaming that's why i said i call it my white

00:07:49.740 people laugh because they'll make like an out-of-pocket joke that i'm not really i don't find

00:07:54.920 very funny i love to make fun of people though like i love to sometimes just go with it since we're

00:07:59.740 talking about storytelling right with adeep we're gonna for our well for those of you who don't know

00:08:04.740 what we do in the comment section is we like to take videos that i was tagged in or i've been sent

00:08:10.180 and we bring them here and we share the giggles today we actually have a few that are our own videos

00:08:15.460 which is so fun because we'll get to show them typically we don't get to show them

00:08:18.960 you're like no this joke is really good i know guys i'm so funny honestly i'm like holding i'm like

00:08:26.720 let's watch together i hate have watching have you ever seen people watch your videos in front of you

00:08:32.660 no no thank god oh my god like when my friends try to do that i'm like no no like go to the other

00:08:37.840 watch it like watch it like tomorrow like don't watch it in front of me block me because then i'm

00:08:42.680 going it's honestly fine i'm watching them waiting for them to laugh at my jokes oh my god i i literally

00:08:48.060 hate it because i'm like i'm like if you don't laugh at like my favorite joke in the video like i'm

00:08:52.440 just like oh my god it's not even funny let me delete that real quick all right fine i'll just delete

00:08:57.040 my whole account but literally like i'm like okay i had like no more posting i guess

00:09:00.320 fine dude i was just telling my family this the other day but like sometimes when i get approached

00:09:06.380 um outside of like work or whatever like if i'm just at the store or something people will come up

00:09:11.720 to me and they'll be like oh my god like i'm such a big fan of your content like it's really sweet

00:09:16.840 and they're like can i take a picture i go yeah the amount of times i've had someone come up to me

00:09:21.640 and they're like okay and they're about to pull up their camera and they're like scrolling through the

00:09:26.820 apps you know like they're all open and literally all of the apps are all my profiles because they're

00:09:32.580 trying to make sure it was actually oh i'm i was like they're literally going oh yeah yeah no yeah

00:09:36.620 yeah for sure for sure for sure for sure for sure they're like they're like closing all of them out

00:09:39.880 and it's literally my twitter my instagram my tiktok like that's so embarrassing google like no one's

00:09:45.680 ever checked that much i kind of want that but it's like i think what i think it is is because

00:09:51.400 i'm so large and in charge in real life like people don't think i'm as big as i am yeah like

00:09:57.160 being seven foot three doesn't change i feel like yeah yeah i mean it's a hard life hire so when i

00:10:04.100 when they see everything when they see me in real life i think they're like there's no way that's her

00:10:08.480 because i'm just so much bigger than i think they assume i am that's so cool though like honestly

00:10:12.860 whenever anyone sees me in public they never want to take a picture with me like honestly

00:10:17.720 is that a read like if you're all is that like because i'm like if you see me please take a

00:10:24.240 little bit like dang usually they love to it's cute like they'll come up to me and like share

00:10:28.920 stories but like no one asks for a picture i'm like okay funny but ugly it's okay

00:10:32.940 i understand one time one of my friends said that that someone had approached her at disneyland and

00:10:39.620 then told her like how much they loved her and she was like oh my god thank you so much

00:10:43.520 and then she she was holding up her phone so she was like do you want to take a picture

00:10:47.120 and the girl was like no and that's my worst nightmare i would never so if you don't ask if

00:10:53.260 you don't ask me i'm not gonna ask yeah no i won't i would never but like it's just like a bit

00:10:57.880 crazy like you just came up to me talked to me for 45 minutes not even ask a picture dang like

00:11:02.740 a little ugly they're like but you're funny though keep it up girl they're so nice though

00:11:09.980 i think like with me um sometimes they'll come up to me and i can tell that they don't give a

00:11:16.780 fuck about me oh whoops they don't care about me at all but they know someone who loves me oh and

00:11:22.420 they recognize me so like one time someone took a picture with me she was like girl like i'd love to

00:11:28.720 take a picture i'm like okay cool and she takes a picture with me and she turns around and then

00:11:33.980 she tells her friends i don't know who she is she's on tiktok or something i was like you couldn't wait

00:11:39.220 till i was at a earshot until you said that like you could me too like i would do that too you know

00:11:44.360 what i mean but like just some courtesy like dang what's the worst when you get approached in front

00:11:49.700 of older people so like so like i'm talking middle age and older and then all of them are like

00:11:55.280 like they and then as soon as the fan leaves they're like do you like do something they always

00:12:01.180 and then i'm like like someone literally asked me are you like famous or something i always say like

00:12:05.800 i'm ariana grande's bodyguard what if you just said you were ariana grande

00:12:10.380 i don't have my ponytail so you just

00:12:13.480 i just didn't have my ponytail on like that's why you don't recognize me i'm screaming oh my god

00:12:19.820 my wig is off it's me without rem that's why you don't recognize me dude the amount of times like

00:12:26.700 someone's been like are you like famous or something i just go not really i i just like

00:12:31.220 i'm no no i work for someone that is i'm so sorry i always say that i just go i just say no no i just

00:12:37.200 can't believe that someone would believe that i'm a bodyguard to be honest like again and they're

00:12:41.220 like that makes sense yeah like they'll just be like oh yeah yeah they're like based off your look

00:12:46.360 yeah that makes sense what if they said that's it's just a read i would just be like okay like

00:12:51.020 i mean i guess thank you question mark like i'm like wait so you believe me why do i look a certain

00:12:58.220 way to you you start questioning them what's that supposed to mean i'm like no no i actually do do

00:13:04.400 tiktok and they're like no you're a bodyguard like no i'm pretty sure you're a bodyguard they're

00:13:08.580 like okay well so now we're lying what do you when you start telling well actually i'm a creator

00:13:12.560 it's honestly fine when before this happened to me and like because my boyfriend bears like a

00:13:17.960 passing resemblance to aquaman so before this happened to me and the movie aquaman came out i

00:13:23.340 was like yeah you don't know who aquaman is i like oh one of the few people who's too cool to

00:13:28.600 know who aquaman is no so sorry i just know him as the game of thrones guy but i'm like okay him

00:13:33.980 that confused for a hot second well anyways him he looks somewhat like my boyfriend like the hair

00:13:40.940 and the forehead is pretty much where it ends but screaming but white people don't care like they

00:13:45.260 so when the movie aquaman came out hell on earth for me and my boyfriend we couldn't go anywhere

00:13:50.500 without older white women being like oh my god you know who you look like and they they knew it

00:13:55.500 wasn't him but they would still ask for a picture which i find odd like unless i'm on the vegas strip

00:14:01.600 dressed as bumblebee like there's really no reason for you to want a picture you know what i mean like

00:14:06.760 you know you know it's not him you know why the niche celeb though like why a transformer

00:14:12.080 because it's like you know it's not him but it's like for the story like you're a tourist you know

00:14:17.480 what i mean i feel like it's just so random i don't know why people do that i don't know either

00:14:21.000 someone chased me down melrose once and they were like yelling screaming my name and i was like there's

00:14:25.420 no way someone likes me that much like i swear like there's no way like i don't think my mom loves

00:14:29.940 me that much like there's no way and i turned around and they were like yelling screaming they're

00:14:34.480 like your songs changed my life i was like huh your songs i can't sing at all but what do you

00:14:39.960 think you were i was gonna say i was gonna say i was gonna say benny blanco but i didn't want to

00:14:47.640 assume like it's the hair i i don't know i just was like thank you so much for listening

00:14:53.240 benny blanco you're welcome for like keeping your name clean like i mean i guess i just didn't want to

00:15:00.540 disappoint i mean she literally ran after me like on melrose it was hot like i felt bad

00:15:06.580 i was deeply offended

00:15:08.740 you're like is it just like the beard and the hair i just i don't know but i'm upset you guys

00:15:15.280 don't look anything like that's what i'm saying isn't he like you know older and and white i'm

00:15:20.480 pretty sure yeah i don't want to assume you know

00:15:22.540 no i dude when with my boyfriend it was kind of the same thing like like they would be like oh my

00:15:32.120 god like they want to take pictures and they'd get weird and creepy and so like i started getting

00:15:36.920 annoyed because i don't like when people are weird and creepy it makes him uncomfortable that makes me

00:15:40.340 mad so like when they would say like you know you look just like aquaman i started interrupting and

00:15:45.700 i'd say i get that all the time that's crazy and that joke didn't hit once not once did anybody

00:15:51.400 laugh they were always like not you him oh my god drama and i'm like no shit bitch i know you're

00:15:57.480 talking to him like i was like with the people that was all damn tough crowd is this thing on

00:16:03.640 oh my god such a bummer but the old like ladies they're just they don't care they just don't get

00:16:10.980 it they put they put that pussy in the wind they don't care they don't care at all they'll throw it

00:16:15.020 at anybody that looks their way they don't give a damn which i respect to an extent but also when

00:16:20.960 i'm at the cheesecake factory i don't want to deal with that when i'm eating at the cheesecake

00:16:24.920 factory i want to be left alone you know what i mean like that's just not the time and place

00:16:29.580 honestly i was like it was my like my first night in the uk i was at nando's and i just like had to

00:16:35.520 i really wanted to try it yeah i was eating and like and how was it so good like actually 10 out of

00:16:40.500 10 it wasn't halal so like whatever but like it's fine anyways i was eating so like you're canceled but

00:16:45.620 also no like the haram police will attack me that's fine um but what's it called i was like

00:16:50.460 sitting with my two friends and i haven't seen them in like literally like six years yeah so we're

00:16:55.320 eating like whatever and these like like this group of like girls comes up to me and they were

00:16:59.500 just like hi like we follow you on tiktok like blah blah can we take a picture yeah mid meal never

00:17:04.460 happened to me like middle of the restaurant they wanted a picture right now yeah i was like that's

00:17:08.960 really awkward but sure yeah but when they came up to me like when they were asking my friends stood

00:17:15.080 up to take the picture like to pose instead of me and they gave me the phone and they were like this

00:17:20.500 and then they were like no no i'm talking about i'm talking to him they're like no we know but we're

00:17:24.320 his friends we're better it's fine and they were like trying to take a picture the girl was pissed

00:17:28.160 the girl was pissed the joke didn't land the girl was that's what i'm saying the joke did not land

00:17:32.940 like we can all laugh a little bit like dang like fake laugh at least like give us a like

00:17:39.260 something the way that they get so like no not you i know and i'm like i know like i stood up

00:17:46.160 anyway like i promise like i'm coming they're like you're wasting my time honestly they get

00:17:52.960 chill like chill chill chill no but they were super nice well that's good i'm glad but you know who

00:17:58.960 wasn't nice the person who hit you with their car that that takes us that takes us to our first

00:18:04.240 video so this is basically a video of a deep telling the story of how he got run over twice in one day

00:18:10.180 and we're gonna react to it now so let's watch it together today's my three-year anniversary of when

00:18:15.960 i got run over twice in one day but i just found a video when i got run over i was it's just like a

00:18:22.740 stupid sentence to say whatever like is it listen when i got run over i didn't take it seriously okay

00:18:27.800 like i was just i got run over i was like literally my family's like in a different country

00:18:31.420 like blah blah blah like i was like you know what this is so stupid i'm gonna make a snapchat story

00:18:35.620 out of this like i'm sorry but like you know getting run over right after you check out the gym that's

00:18:39.800 like a sitcom premise like that's not real life like i refuse to believe that you know what i mean

00:18:43.480 so i was like if that's gonna happen to me the least i could do is give everyone a funny

00:18:47.000 snapchat story out of it so let's get into it my first snapchat was just a quick announcement you

00:18:51.800 know she ran me over that's really it you know then she started sitting next to me right so i was like

00:18:56.900 bro why is she sitting right next to me in complete silence like i can hear her heartbeat

00:19:00.180 it's too much it's ramadan i was fasting by the way i just remembered that this is when i started

00:19:04.980 to lose it because are you kidding me why were you crying why were you like three hours into the

00:19:12.320 waiting room why are you crying why are you crying i don't care this was funny this was funny i know

00:19:18.620 game of thrones is done and you know dead and no one cares but this was funny i don't care

00:19:22.300 side note if you ever feel not confident just shave your head and dye it it's so fun to be in

00:19:26.780 room for like a week or two well maybe not i got run over right after i did that so maybe don't do

00:19:30.980 that maybe it's like a bad vibe i don't know bro i don't care i'm funny i don't care i'm funny this

00:19:35.560 is funny i don't care and lastly the video but it's a little bit anticlimactic because it's like

00:19:40.000 six seconds long so you know don't hate me the way i'm triggered also if i died there

00:19:45.580 my last words would have been yo so i would just like to you know recommend that you think before

00:19:50.220 you speak because what if your last words were yo that was right before you got hit

00:19:54.640 because you were about to get hit so embarrassing like i was just like i was like there's because

00:20:00.400 to me like she was stopped she was out of shot like why'd you so she just there's no reason for

00:20:06.080 you to really run me over there so i was like and she broke your foot she ran over my so apparently

00:20:11.140 i have an accessory bun i don't know what that means but it shattered and i'm fine did you ask

00:20:15.320 her because she's a medical student i'm screaming what if you went in and she drove me to the

00:20:18.840 hospital yeah what if she checked you in and she was your nurse and she goes i don't think it's

00:20:22.520 broken i think you're fine i think you're overreacting actually no but like i just like have you ever

00:20:27.660 been in did you you know ever get hit by a car yeah or run someone over neither so embarrassing

00:20:34.080 like it really is embarrassing they pick you up like because the the ambulance is like what five

00:20:39.300 thousand dollars like you're not doing that so like they're driving you my sister's laughing

00:20:43.300 because my sister's been hit by a car no i'm a twin my sister got hit by a car on a bike

00:20:51.880 she's laughing because she's like you're asking me if i'm like no but she

00:20:59.940 she said she was so embarrassed she just got up and tried oh my god she called us after the fact

00:21:16.020 but she literally got in on the sidewalk like she was um were you walking or riding your bike

00:21:21.000 she was riding her bike and she got hit and she fell on the hood and like she like smashed the

00:21:27.880 dude's windshield with her arm and she said she was so embarrassed she got off the car and picked up

00:21:35.140 her bike and she was like i'm good see you later she started trying to walk away and the dude was like

00:21:42.080 are you okay if she didn't land on his car i think he would have took off like he would have he would

00:21:48.800 have he would have hit and run but then she was like no you like you like hit me and then he was

00:21:54.600 like well you're not supposed to ride your bike on the sidewalk i'm like not in gaslighting you

00:21:58.840 he's like you ass

00:22:00.740 the way that like when she told me i was so scared for her but i literally like laughed so hard i started

00:22:10.840 crying that's why you're saying it's so humiliating she told me that was the worst part was it was just

00:22:17.640 embarrassing it's so embarrassing because like you don't get it like imagine someone like you get

00:22:24.860 to the hospital right which she drove you in yeah obviously she just ran someone over so she was like

00:22:29.220 traumatized yeah she parked on the side started crying while i'm literally like she's like she's

00:22:35.300 like not to pull focus but i'm really sad right now like my sister was like i drove myself to the

00:22:43.480 hospital

00:22:43.960 oh shit

00:22:45.700 didn't want to lose cows

00:22:51.940 that's the most college kid shit dude

00:22:57.400 i got run over in front of the gym by the way

00:23:00.540 my first time going

00:23:02.020 is that a sign from god

00:23:04.620 god was like oh my god like what is going on

00:23:08.620 girl i'm trying to better myself and this is how you thank me

00:23:11.420 no literally ran over

00:23:12.500 no but i literally like it's like it's like okay like that part is fine like whatever we get to

00:23:17.800 the hospital she has to get the wheelchair and she wheels you in

00:23:21.380 that's so embarrassing

00:23:23.480 like a pregnant lady

00:23:24.620 and then the nurse start asking questions and i don't know maybe she was just bold like i don't

00:23:28.440 really know but she like they're asking questions she was answering for me

00:23:31.180 yes ran over like down the street in front of the gym

00:23:35.280 yeah

00:23:35.820 yeah who ran him over at me

00:23:38.860 oh okay

00:23:40.400 i'm like

00:23:41.060 chill

00:23:42.060 it's like she's you're like yep um

00:23:44.660 it's so humiliating

00:23:45.600 here she goes how did you get run over at all

00:23:47.060 did you i think you

00:23:48.280 yeah i think she backed up over me

00:23:50.100 yeah they ask multiple times like they're like who ran you over and i had to just be like

00:23:54.300 like this is this bitch wheeling me in the wheelchair

00:23:58.880 it's so embarrassing like honestly i can't begin

00:24:01.560 when i was i didn't tell my family for a good year

00:24:04.160 why

00:24:05.000 because by the time that i told them they were so embarrassed they died laughing on the phone

00:24:08.700 they were just literally like no way like really you got run over really i was just like i'm so sorry

00:24:15.400 it's not my first time like i've done it multiple times in my life unfortunately it's honestly fine

00:24:19.540 that's why i was like that's never happened to me

00:24:22.640 like my grandpa ran me over like maybe three times like not under the car over the car you

00:24:27.040 know what i mean more okay like you like hit the hood yeah like on purpose me and he doesn't

00:24:33.080 look and he's always parking and i'm always running just every time he's like every fucking

00:24:38.660 time with this every time with this you're gonna get in my way or and i was like or i say i say

00:24:44.240 three times that's on you like i'm blaming you at that point three times that's on you buddy

00:24:49.500 i'm like you are clearly asking to do this what do you want attention i'm a little clumsy that's

00:24:55.320 my issue i i lack awareness that's the problem clearly if you've been hit multiple you've been

00:25:01.000 hit more than the amount of times you've been hit is on more than one hand i'm gonna go ahead and

00:25:06.580 say part of that's on you like i just want to gaslight the cars like it's not you're just

00:25:13.240 throwing yourself in front of them i would never no never you're you're all just trying to meet

00:25:18.780 friends is this not how you meet people i'm dead no i honestly she's so embarrassing oh yeah she

00:25:26.060 stole my bike too i just remembered she wanted to like erase evidence i was like i was like would

00:25:32.040 you bring back my half broken bike from the gym i know my sister's bike got smashed too by the car

00:25:39.660 and it was so funny because she was already telling me that because she went to college in

00:25:44.980 oregon and so they're a big bike riding town like walking barefoot everywhere like why oregon just

00:25:51.800 why why would she go there or why are they like that the pnw yeah they're just they're just big like

00:25:57.180 big hippie town you know what i mean like exactly love everybody but like they're big bike riding town

00:26:01.940 too so like the bike we she took was our childhood bikes and they're beach cruisers so they're not

00:26:08.640 meant to go up hills or any sort of rocky terrain at any yeah so she and it was like a bright yellow

00:26:15.900 her bike and she was telling me already like right before this happened she was telling me how much

00:26:19.960 she hated her bike i'm screaming she was like i hate this bike it's so embarrassing no she took the

00:26:26.100 money after they said they were like i can't really fix this so she just kept the money she literally has

00:26:34.640 not ridden of bikes she's like i don't i'm stop are you like traumatized

00:26:39.780 we already didn't like bikes that just really nailed it home but she has other stories where

00:26:50.580 she's fallen off that bike and she's like i literally wanted to take it just throw it over

00:26:55.200 a fence like just like get out of here i understand that's what i did to mine

00:26:58.380 like i threw it into the it's not in the stars for us to ride bikes no but i still love it like

00:27:04.060 i got another one it's just the old one broke you just like living on the edge i guess we'll see what

00:27:09.840 happens it's so fun to bike like it feels like you're on a motorcycle but like less death risks

00:27:15.220 well i got run i mean with you i don't know about that i think the odds may be pretty equal i just i just

00:27:23.420 got my dad one of those electric bikes for father's day like the ones that like you can

00:27:27.780 either pedal or you can like oh yeah yeah he loves it my dad's a huge bike riding dude like

00:27:34.840 does he have a like a actual motorcycle no he'll he'll never get a motorcycle just because like i

00:27:39.960 don't think we want him to have one but he loves to ride bikes so he's always like we should go bike

00:27:43.960 riding i'm like we don't like bike riding like my entire family doesn't like to bike ride except

00:27:49.340 my dad i love a good bike ride though so i like it in theory but then after a while i'm like i'm

00:27:54.280 over this no it's so fun you get like come pick me up i don't want to ride anymore i don't want to

00:27:59.600 ride anymore it's so fun you get to see the scenery and run over and get run over maybe so that's why i

00:28:05.420 said living life on the edge so the comments on this video this first one it says you're so chaotic

00:28:12.020 and i'm obsessed which is i think pretty fair assessment of your storytelling it's like chaotic

00:28:18.700 neutral chaotic label i just feel like getting run over shouldn't mean chaos um it wasn't my fault

00:28:25.580 um you caused chaos she caused chaos that's what i'm saying no i'm kidding i'm kidding you know

00:28:31.380 it's funny i used to do that on snapchat too that's kind of how i started like posting i would like

00:28:35.660 post stories story times rants yeah same look at us so cringe though i know i can't believe i used

00:28:42.240 to do it for free you and me both too the way i still do it you and me both one time i literally

00:28:48.420 i posted like the longest snapchat story i think right before like instagram stories really took off

00:28:55.500 but like i posted the longest snapchat story about my first time doing jury duty and how upset i was

00:29:03.140 but it was mostly just like having to go through security like this one lady like i swear to god

00:29:08.820 that bitch thought i was like carrying something in there like she she said this is the one like me

00:29:14.520 i had a crop top on i was trying to get excused like i was like i was like bitch i'm 19 like i'm not

00:29:20.520 here to blow up the courthouse like she truly like was was rummaging through my bag so severely that she

00:29:27.080 broke half my shit she made me open some of my tampons it made me so incredibly angry i like recorded

00:29:33.460 like a three minute snapchat story i'm screwed that's funny and so like now when i look back i'm

00:29:37.920 like that's so ridiculous but like you know when you're younger like everything makes you mad no

00:29:41.940 no literally like so upset to the point where you need to document like that was i used to always make

00:29:46.640 fun of everything because i'm like i don't know my family does that yeah i feel like your mom's like

00:29:50.660 that yeah oh yeah yeah like i i'm like like my family anything bad happens like immediate joke for no

00:29:57.840 anything like anyone's dead like dog died whatever same hot dog oh my god you want to you want to know

00:30:04.740 a joke okay this is so funny but speaking of like dead dogs so like my my dog my family had a dog

00:30:13.980 this is a story i would tell and like i always know when it's gonna hit when it's not because like

00:30:19.880 like why people like really don't like this story because they think it's like terrifying but like my

00:30:24.360 family laughed so hard when it happened so like this you know it's like we don't deal with things

00:30:28.080 differently but like i had a bulldog like an english bulldog he was old i honestly think he was

00:30:34.340 haunted a little bit i'm screaming that's just my theory i think he had something going on up here

00:30:38.320 but anyways that's neither here nor there my dad used to want to take him on walks all the time and

00:30:43.080 i'm like that's like their breed does not like to walk like especially in the heat like if it's hot

00:30:47.200 right english bulldogs is it just a regular bulldog like yeah yeah yeah they're just no the target dog

00:30:55.280 and english bulldogs like the big uh trying to imagine they're like the big they're big like

00:31:01.980 chonky ones they have all the wrinkles they have big bulldog faces yeah they're they're really cute

00:31:06.340 but they hate walking because they just don't like to walk they don't breathe right yeah so like my dad

00:31:11.700 would insist on walking them all the time and so like my mom and dad took my mom was like let's take

00:31:17.560 him back to the house because he was like dying in the heat they'd only been walking for like five

00:31:20.960 minutes and my dog was like i'm over this like i'm trying to go home so like my mom was like pick him

00:31:25.900 up and and let's carry him back to the house so my dad picks him up and then he's like passed out

00:31:31.500 have you ever seen a dog pass out yeah he was literally like like literally like so yeah yeah so my dad's

00:31:38.060 my mom's like hurry we had to take him home like i think something's happening to him like i think

00:31:41.560 he's dying it's not funny but like just wait so he's holding him and then this like neighbor comes

00:31:47.040 out and they're like oh what a cute dog mind you he's like in my dad's arms my dad's holding him

00:31:51.700 he starts shitting himself like he's releasing his bells like he's dying so there's like black tar

00:31:56.720 shit going down my dad's shirt and my dad's making conversation but it's like oh yeah he's about like

00:32:02.720 probably like six like he's shitting himself on my dad but my dad just doesn't have it in him

00:32:07.560 to be rude and the guy's like oh yeah and then they're watching him shit himself on my dad and

00:32:13.100 my dad's like yeah you know like yeah he's a good boy you know and my mom's like hurry up like my mom

00:32:19.320 how is no one like my mom comes she's like we need to i'm so sorry but we need to go so they take him

00:32:25.000 back he's i swear to god like he's gone like he's like right and then my mom fills up his little pool

00:32:30.980 and like puts ice and shit in there and she puts him in there she starts like fucking like trying to do

00:32:34.700 like cpr on him and he's like like a roach you know what i'm saying i'm screaming and then my mom

00:32:40.620 calls my sister because it was her dog and she goes i think your dog might die today but i'll keep you

00:32:47.400 and when my mom told me the story i go why would you tell her like that she goes i just wanted to let her

00:32:56.080 and so my mom was like doing cpr on him and he comes to life like he comes back to life

00:33:03.920 and then uh he shit himself all night like he was just like overheated or whatever but like my mom's

00:33:10.320 mom's like i saved his life and he lived for like six more years after that oh cute but i genuinely

00:33:15.460 think it's like on some game of thrones shit you know how like john snow died and like didn't come

00:33:19.540 back the same it's just the way that you really made me feel like he died he did like i was just like

00:33:24.740 marley and me i'm telling you no he flatlined i swear to god he wasn't bring and my mom like was

00:33:30.560 like clear you know what i mean like at home in a kiddie pool and then he was alive for like six more

00:33:37.920 years but like i feel like it's just so it kills me telling stories to people like when i know like

00:33:45.180 when you start to sense it's not gonna hit oh my i hate it my dead dog story is one of those like it

00:33:50.160 doesn't you could tell i had another i have another dead dog story but like okay well i've

00:33:58.720 had i've had countless dogs die like like so many and i say that with all the love in the world like

00:34:04.320 my family just loves animals but like they be they do be dying and we cannot they they be dying you

00:34:09.640 know what i mean what do you mean i've seen your stories where you talk it's animals except my uncle

00:34:13.500 oh is that the one that has all the animals okay because i'm just gonna say it hates animals in my

00:34:18.040 family really yeah yeah like my aunt dropped her baby because a cat jumped on her she fully literally

00:34:23.680 was just like she was like nursing she's like oh she's like listen no fuck that every man for

00:34:28.780 themselves no you're fine and she jumped on him by accident i think my my other dead dog stories

00:34:34.020 are i had a pair of schnauzers as family dogs the way i need to look like a dick they're the dogs

00:34:41.120 have you seen lady in the tramp okay you know the little dog the little black dog that buries his

00:34:46.060 bones he always hides them he's like the smart when he has a mustache yes that's a schnauzer okay

00:34:51.560 look at me giving you a picture yeah yeah yeah so i had i had two of those one girl one boy they

00:34:58.760 were like besties the girl she died of natural causes like she had like well not natural she had

00:35:03.560 cancer but like she like got sick and then she had to be put down right but then my other dog the male

00:35:09.520 dog it's not funny but like it's kind of funny i don't know how to react at this at this point at

00:35:16.220 this point that dog was like almost fully blind and deaf like you literally had to like stand in

00:35:21.720 front of him for him to see you like like two inches from his face and so like he literally like

00:35:28.440 we always theorize that he died of a broken heart you know what i mean but then some of my some of my

00:35:34.100 family members think that he was pushed into the pool by my other dog because they always had

00:35:37.620 so we have conspiracies going in my family but he drowned in my pool and like he lived at my house

00:35:45.440 for like 12 years and never once drowned never never even swam no wait yeah i have i think i have

00:35:51.160 honestly there might be a ghost in the camera that's what i and it was probably the ghost that came back

00:35:55.980 with my bulldog when he died because he was still because he was still alive at that point

00:35:59.900 my god yeah and so my sister thinks that he was pushing the pool by the bulldog yes we do we have

00:36:06.580 two new dogs they're both great you a second i was literally thinking i'm like because we've had so

00:36:12.480 many dogs we've had so many dogs over the years but anyways yeah that dog that that story doesn't

00:36:16.680 hit either with everybody about my dog drowning yeah honestly there's like there are like there's

00:36:20.880 like a genre of stories that just don't hit with like serious people with like white people too

00:36:25.860 like they just like take everything so serious yeah yeah well if we don't laugh we'll cry so we

00:36:31.900 might as well laugh like okay okay okay i don't know wait if i'm allowed to say this okay but like

00:36:38.260 there was this like terrorist attack but like i thought it was a terrorist attack it wasn't so i feel

00:36:43.440 like it's fine to say okay but it was like a riot but they wanted it to be like that i was in turkey

00:36:47.900 it was my first time okay and like they were having like a little moment like where it's like a civil

00:36:52.460 like it's like i don't know they were having like a moment i don't know it was like a little

00:36:56.260 something was happening what is it called it's not a riot a protest okay it's a protest okay so

00:37:00.860 they were having a protest we're in this like outdoor mall think grove and me and my mom are

00:37:05.360 walking down the street like whatever we're about to go into this mall and then we see like people on

00:37:09.500 horses like riding through like in the middle of the people like okay on the grove like someone just

00:37:14.520 on a horse like running through okay we saw them we were like oh maybe it's like you know like maybe

00:37:19.920 it's like vibes like maybe it's like they're having like medieval show type thing like we

00:37:23.860 didn't think anything of it next thing you know like they're going closer closer closer and then

00:37:27.740 tear gas bombs like everywhere and they're throwing it around and my mom was just like she was just like

00:37:32.480 okay i know what's going on we're going inside and i was like oh my god what's going on so we run

00:37:35.920 inside we go into like the mall i was like mom can we hide in the czar she's like no it's right next

00:37:41.340 to the front and i was like okay we go to the back we're hiding turns out it wasn't deep it was

00:37:45.760 this whole thing where like people were just like i don't know just like pranking people or

00:37:50.100 something or whatever like it was literally that's so prank actually you got so pranked they had like

00:37:55.820 a bunch of what are they called those little like like things that you throw on the floor and pops

00:38:00.120 oh like oh they're they're like fireworks yeah yeah they have those but way bigger and they kept

00:38:04.660 throwing it on the floor so my like hair got burnt those were my you know war wounds no big deal but

00:38:10.020 like as as a prank no literally but like we go inside and we're like at this point like we're fully

00:38:14.820 like freaking out i have asthma so i was like beginning to have an asthma attack i'm freaking

00:38:18.300 out we're in the back my mom is like looking at me and she was just like it's going to be okay it's

00:38:22.600 going to be okay she checks the news she's like she's like never mind and then she's like yeah we

00:38:26.980 can leave like she starts telling you she starts telling you you're being dramatic literally and

00:38:31.100 we're all like in a corner in the mall like yeah like a safety hazard area whatever and now

00:38:36.340 they're everyone's like leaving now i'm like finally calming down my mom trips and it's like you know

00:38:41.260 those like you know like the ramps yeah she like fell and tripped and kept rolling rolled through

00:38:51.360 everyone that was trying to leave made everyone fall fell under everyone and everyone just kept

00:38:56.860 falling like dominoes and it was all the way to the front of the mall and i was just like no way no

00:39:01.680 way no way and i start die laughing but then asthma because i'm die laughing so my mom was just like i

00:39:06.920 don't know what to do just like literally just it was such a mess and you're just leaving your mom

00:39:11.880 i literally you're like how embarrassing i was just gonna say there was an exit right behind us the

00:39:15.320 whole time i opened the door and every like gas is out no asthma everything's chill we come out

00:39:21.500 horse hits me i hit i fall like run over by a horse like literally it was like grazed me hits my

00:39:28.000 shoulder i fall on the floor my mom looks at me she's like did she go that's what she i was like

00:39:32.960 literally like what but like it was like a whole ordeal whenever i told this story in the middle

00:39:37.360 east everyone's dying because like everyone's like not literally obviously but like laughing

00:39:41.560 yeah and everyone's like everyone's like used to it because like we have like stupid stories like

00:39:45.960 that where it's like people are using fireworks but it's like where you get shoulder checked by a

00:39:49.860 horse story here and like okay honestly i should have read the room it wasn't a sorority my bad

00:39:55.420 but like maybe that's on me that's on me they all like looked at me and they're just like are you

00:40:00.300 are you saying they're like i have a number of a therapist but it's dangerous there i'm scared

00:40:08.820 are you saying like i hate those people now you're being dramatic yeah that's why i'm like whenever i

00:40:14.260 tell those people like the stories about the middle east they don't hit so blue and ocean and pretty

00:40:19.480 never heard a gunshot till i came here which is probably true to an extent um no it is true yeah

00:40:27.840 that's literally that's what i'm saying that's speaking of falling right i have a story about

00:40:33.680 when i fell once but like i was in college and i went to the airport with my friends to pick up my

00:40:39.880 friend's mom i don't know why we went in a group like there was like six of us why did we do that i

00:40:44.740 don't know right so we go to this and you know they have these like uh buses that take you to like

00:40:50.540 rental car places so they like take you so for those like yeah so i'm in hawaii at the time and

00:40:56.720 like the way that they ghost ride those those buses like they whip them like they drive like 90 out the

00:41:04.160 airport i didn't know that at the time do i wish i did yeah so i'm standing on the bus like we get in

00:41:11.280 the alamo bus i swear to god the the door's just close like they just close i'm about to grab the pole

00:41:18.500 to like hold on too late he drives 90 like takes off and turns i literally shoot back like a stunt

00:41:26.140 man hands feet in a pike like a cheerleader i'm literally shooting back and then i'm falling for

00:41:32.160 god knows how long i think i fell for like eight minutes not one bitch stopped me not one person i

00:41:38.240 felt everyone's moving their bags they're like as i'm falling down the length of this bus the thing

00:41:44.180 that stopped me was i literally slammed into the the driver's like little leg station i slammed

00:41:52.160 that's what stopped my fall like i slammed into it so hard i like hit my head really hard

00:41:57.420 and then everyone watched me fall not one person was like oh my god like to try and get like i don't

00:42:04.120 know help me i guess is the word i'm looking for like okay like the way people desert you when you fall

00:42:10.060 i was just like my friend fell on a bike fell on a bike yeah like split open her knee and we were in

00:42:17.080 the uk and i've never seen something like this like fully bleeding like actually open uh-huh in front

00:42:24.480 of the like a little river where literally hundreds of okay hundreds of thousands of it dramatic yeah

00:42:30.500 thousands of people probably walk there every single day and just bleeding like openly i'm freaking out

00:42:34.940 i'm like okay i have a problem with blood i do start to throw up a little bit like just a little

00:42:40.120 so it's just like like holding pressure so you're being like really unhelpful like no i put the

00:42:49.080 pressure on the entire time in my defense okay as you're gagging yeah but i was just doing it while

00:42:54.360 almost throwing up and like the way everyone walked past not a single person said anything

00:42:59.060 the only person that stopped was a drunk guy and he was like oi do you want a bitch and i was like

00:43:04.420 no like go away like what do you mean like no one helps at all like people just ignore i know it

00:43:10.060 would be a spectacle i would literally fall every it's it's a crowd like for no reason they're like

00:43:18.320 can you get the hell out of my way they're like you're i'm walking you're slowing down the traffic

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00:44:21.640 play responsibly starbucks like what are you literally my friend's mom helped me up not even

00:44:26.560 my own friends she helped me up and she goes good thing you're young because i would have fell a long

00:44:30.980 time ago and i was like well why didn't you stop me lisa i'm not her getting called out just kidding

00:44:38.700 her name wasn't lisa but she was a white lady i'm screaming i was like poor lisa i'm like me calling

00:44:44.800 her out okay so we're gonna move on to this next video since we love to tell stories right

00:44:51.880 yeah i think you got it up sweetheart it's not that we're insecure it's just that we prefer women

00:45:00.860 that half the world doesn't know what your body looks like

00:45:03.980 cool guy alert guys cool guy alert damn you look so cool brother

00:45:13.180 sick glasses and chains first off let me say this any man who spends two and a half minutes talking

00:45:21.820 about how not insecure they are respectfully i don't believe you bitch but more importantly

00:45:27.820 i will never ever ever ever understand why men do this shit where they create hypothetical

00:45:35.340 situations in their head they're like if that were me if that were me listen if you were my bitch

00:45:39.940 if you were my girl if you were my bitch she's not

00:45:43.080 she's not and she never will be bitch even on your best day in your sunday best if you had three wishes

00:45:52.380 from a genie hug she would never be yours so i'm gonna end with this mind the business that

00:45:58.360 pays you maybe lower your standard of what you think you look like and last but more importantly

00:46:04.680 bake your whole head just captain mccard the shit you feel me because that hairline peace and love

00:46:11.300 she's gone bye that's like that's like i is so iconic i is so iconic yeah that's one of those things

00:46:18.980 i've said before like well before i like blew up how um sometimes men will create like fake

00:46:25.320 scenarios all the time when they're like you know when they do those like skits and they wear the like

00:46:29.800 towel on their head and they're like at the bar i want a man who's gonna do this i'm like you're just

00:46:35.420 like cosplaying getting rejected that's weird that's weird you sit around fantasizing about that i think

00:46:42.200 it's just weird that like it's like i feel like they've never tried you know what i mean yeah it's

00:46:47.520 never there was never an attempt or maybe there was at high school or like in high school or

00:46:51.440 whatever yeah like it's just like i don't know it's lame like well the skits they come up with

00:46:55.920 that never happened it never happens it's embarrassing and it's also like poorly executed

00:47:00.340 yeah yeah it's like it's never funny yeah comments it's like it's like you see like lots of likes

00:47:06.320 like lots of comments yeah go through them all 12 year olds so it's like they're all like yeah they do

00:47:10.980 be doing that yeah it's like yeah it's like you've never been to a bar yeah yeah have you seen those

00:47:17.260 ones where um they talk about like it's like supposed to be like going on a date with a woman

00:47:22.180 nowadays and it's like it's like a dude doing the same thing it's like the cosplaying where he's playing

00:47:27.940 the woman and the man oh god and then he's like hey what's up what's your name and then she's like

00:47:33.080 what's your sign i don't date those yeah no unless you make this much money a year i'm like that has

00:47:39.520 never happened you know when they bring up signs like once like if you go on a date with someone

00:47:44.660 it's honestly not that serious unless they're very deep yeah and even then like if you don't

00:47:49.080 want to know they're not going to tell you so they're just like yeah oh yeah like i know a lot

00:47:53.260 about aries men and then they're like yeah that's all that happened and then it's it's like the

00:47:58.920 most elaborate way of like shirking blame so they're like it's not because of me it's because

00:48:05.100 you're insane screaming yeah it's just like doesn't make sense like i don't know like it's

00:48:09.640 like they're boring i don't know why like it's like when i go on these like it's like i don't

00:48:14.140 know the podcast people those people irk me because i'm just yeah every time i see them like do you

00:48:18.740 not see how cringe you are like actually like also like me thinks no like actually i've always

00:48:24.660 one oops sorry i always wonder like who's dating these people because like who is sitting next to

00:48:29.600 that person after what they just said literally if you think that you have someone that's good

00:48:35.140 like come on like they're there for something else like let's be yeah like you're obviously an

00:48:40.760 asshole like she's not there for you well and nine times out of ten they don't even have that

00:48:44.880 yeah and when they're like we'll see like men like us who's us like when they want to talk when

00:48:50.580 they want to talk about being a shitty rich dude i'm like you don't have shitty rich dude money

00:48:55.260 so like you can't like work at dairy queen and also act like that there's no way you got to pick

00:49:01.580 one you can't you can't do both you simply cannot have both they're just cringe i'm just like also

00:49:06.740 like how many more scenarios do we need for you to prove the exact same point over and over over and

00:49:11.680 over again like i mean i always think like at what point do you look in the mirror and be like maybe

00:49:17.580 it's me yeah and also like where are all the girls like do does your mother hate you like

00:49:22.180 does your sister hate you like what's going on just like every if every single bitch you come

00:49:28.460 across is repulsed by you what are the odds they're all wrong screaming like what are the odds like

00:49:34.280 you've met hundreds of thousands of girls and every single one of them wants to jump in front of a

00:49:39.120 moving train when they meet you what are the odds they're all wrong he's like all these women are just

00:49:44.120 wrong they're wrong about me i'm just like so confused like how does he not realize like oh my god

00:49:48.240 like i don't have a single friend that is a girl not even my mom like like it's like how does that

00:49:53.720 not not even my mom like that's what i'm saying she hates me too no they all look bummer you know

00:49:58.380 what i mean yeah like maybe it's like something with baldness and mom love i don't know i've said

00:50:04.660 before like like because sometimes people get really upset about the balding jokes and i'm like well people

00:50:09.800 who are not terrible don't get offended by those jokes because i'm only talking to that person

00:50:13.980 but at the same time someone that's like low-key balding you're funny that's why i said everyone

00:50:19.040 who's balding is not a terrible person but every terrible person is balding you see what i mean

00:50:25.960 that those venn diagrams are different that's why i'm saying honestly even the girls like they're yeah

00:50:30.740 same thing same thing that's why i said sometimes sometimes it's sometimes it's happening to them too

00:50:36.020 i just honestly don't get it because it's like it's like how many how does first of all how does the

00:50:40.960 content go off because like yeah it's always repetitive it's always like been done before

00:50:44.860 like yeah this skits kill me this skits kill me because it's the same audio same text same everything

00:50:49.580 yeah and it's just like people being like and it's like

00:50:54.360 why are you doing all that or like even like when they're i can't i really can't that's what i said

00:51:01.240 just say you don't have you don't you're not funny and you don't have a personality outside of like

00:51:04.880 hating women like that's like where it stops and it's like it's like it like i don't know like how do you

00:51:09.740 expect it it's like i don't know how do you expect to literally move on in life yeah literally half of

00:51:14.920 the world yeah i got i got tagged how do you want to alienate half of the world literally i and the

00:51:19.940 one you want the most like literally those are the people you want the most like i i got tagged in this

00:51:24.900 one video where this girl was like talking to some dude and she was like telling him like oh say it

00:51:29.880 again or something whatever he just told me and um he had said like that he doesn't think women are

00:51:35.700 funny like at all and i was like boring right uh oh so boring like it's so basic and then i she

00:51:44.100 tagged me in it and was like what do you think about this and i always tell people this if i can't see

00:51:48.960 them i can't roast them like you can't like because they'll record voices oh okay and they want me to

00:51:54.660 make fun of them and i'm like i can't unless i see them i gotta see them i gotta see the mug i gotta

00:51:58.240 see the build i gotta see something so i can like reference it but i literally commented on it and i was

00:52:04.080 like ask him what he finds to be genuinely funny i'm screwing and if it's not a fat joke i'll eat

00:52:09.280 my hat i'll literally eat it whole i'll swallow it whole and i'll eat everybody's hats like honestly

00:52:14.140 men like that are literally like they'll tell one fat joke and they'll be like should i quit my job

00:52:19.380 i feel like maybe i feel like maybe like i heard that p davidson is leaving snl and i think that's a

00:52:25.900 spot for me i think it's opened up it's like it's like the fat jokes kill me because i'm just like i'm

00:52:30.900 like i used to get those like all the time even really all the time because i was like i used to

00:52:35.660 be 380 pounds oh my gosh but i used to get them all the time and i used to just be like like it's

00:52:41.760 literally not offensive like i don't know how to yeah yeah being called fat is i'm literally like i

00:52:45.820 own a mirror i promise like girl i know like there's no it's a very neutral term to me so it doesn't

00:52:51.520 bother me just like it's not deep like it's like i was like i don't know it's just never made a

00:52:55.920 difference so i'm like whenever i see the fat jokes online they kill i don't know why like

00:53:00.640 they're so lame some people like that are bigger they they'll do a dance and kill it yeah actually

00:53:06.360 do it really well yeah and then like all the the comments are horrible about it yeah it's not funny

00:53:11.420 yeah they're all repetitive and it's the exact same thing it's like bro we all know well like you

00:53:17.060 think they you think they don't know like you think we don't you think everyone in the like in

00:53:22.080 the universe is like completely unaware of what they look like is it doesn't need to be like why

00:53:26.560 is it so deep for you like why are you so like triggered by it yeah like why are you so like

00:53:30.760 that's why i said i've said i've i like make videos about fatphobia all the time and i've literally

00:53:36.140 said there's a really thin line between love and hate and if you talk about fat people all the time

00:53:42.100 it's weird i think you love them i think you love them i think you're projecting because you love

00:53:47.240 them and they'll never love you i don't know like well and even then i don't know if you've ever

00:53:50.700 noticed like um fat people that lose weight yeah skinny and then start hating fat people yeah i hate

00:53:57.420 the oh my god that's like kidding me of i hate you well and the the meninist vibes you're all in the

00:54:03.680 same boat i can't like well yeah and they're like i did it okay i'm and well and you know what's funny

00:54:11.240 is like okay you want to call people fat like you're ugly so like that's worse like and you can't

00:54:17.560 and you're not funny yeah like you are fighting your own genetics like that sucks for you like i

00:54:23.780 can't even imagine i'd be mad too if i woke up and i looked like that like that'd be a bummer and

00:54:28.300 that's why i said sometimes i feel bad for them because like i think they've never seen their

00:54:31.120 reflections i think they've they don't own mirrors i think i don't know if this is true so someone like

00:54:36.060 fact check but like i'm pretty sure it's like you see yourself as 10 times better than you actually

00:54:40.460 are like that's how you receive honestly i think i thought it was the opposite no i think you like

00:54:45.440 i feel like no yeah i'm not sure honestly i think you feel like you look better than you actually are

00:54:52.000 oh yeah but like i feel like their meter is broken they think they're 100 better than they

00:54:56.900 are well so you'd be surprised because sometimes when i like talk to these dudes and i'm because

00:55:01.720 they call me fat and ugly all the time well they call me fat the most but they a lot of times

00:55:06.080 try to call me ugly too and know that you're taller than them no they don't believe me they

00:55:10.880 don't believe me they think i'm like 5'2 which is bizarre because i was 5'2 when i was 8 so

00:55:15.880 which is concerning 5'2 last week so like i sometimes when you talk to them and i and i'll

00:55:24.260 literally tell them i'm like i don't think like if i was to seek counsel on the authority on good looks

00:55:30.920 i don't think i'd ask you like i think you'd be the last person i'd ask honestly and they'll

00:55:35.740 literally say i know i'm not good looking then what are we talking about babe like then that's

00:55:41.100 why i said last episode i'm like twins like i guess we're both ugly then right that's why i was

00:55:45.460 like i guess we're both so hard on the eyes like like it's so annoying because it's like

00:55:50.140 like why like honestly why like you left everything in life to do that like literally why like don't

00:55:56.800 you have bills to pay like a job clearly not to play like pick your nose like find something

00:56:01.400 i don't know man sometimes that's why i'm like they'll be like i know i'm not i'm not good

00:56:06.080 looking okay cool congratulations i'm like that's great i'm glad we're on the same page no they kill

00:56:13.140 me it's just they're honestly boring like it's that you're boring more than anything if you were funny

00:56:18.960 while doing it maybe i'll be like dang like it's messed up that you saw that but it's funny like yeah

00:56:24.020 i sometimes see stuff like that sometimes i see stuff like that i'm like no that was kind of i mean

00:56:29.120 kind of i saw like you had the opportunity but you didn't execute properly i and sometimes they'll

00:56:35.520 say the same thing about funny like i don't know i know you said you don't really get hate at all

00:56:38.940 which like must be nice but like i don't know if you ever get people saying you're not funny

00:56:43.560 oh i like i'll get that but i literally reply and i'm like i've never said that i was

00:56:47.520 so like thanks for pointing it cool thanks i think sometimes they'll ask me that they'll say like

00:56:53.840 this bitch isn't even funny whatever right and i'm always like and this is coming from

00:56:58.900 you know what i mean like someone with 15 followers no for sure for sure for sure and

00:57:05.900 then i think i think all the time because sometimes men get really mad that i have a platform

00:57:09.360 and they're like i don't even know why but like one dude made a video about me once and said like

00:57:13.140 they picked the ugliest bitch he's ever seen in his entire life which can you imagine saying that

00:57:18.800 so boldly wait he's talking about you yeah he said i was the ugliest bitch he's ever seen

00:57:23.140 but then i was like really like i was thinking damn like you must be hanging out with bella hadid

00:57:28.860 i'm done hey so i mean like jeez louise man that must be the only face you see constantly

00:57:34.500 you know what i mean like you must be surrounded by hadids and hadids alone like there's no way

00:57:39.800 there's no way the Kardashians are not involved no it's just the hadids like it's just them

00:57:44.560 yeah bella and gg and gg's baby like the three of them those are the only three people you've ever

00:57:49.900 seen in your life but i was he said that about me and he was like i don't know why you guys picked

00:57:54.840 this girl and i was like they didn't pick me because i'm the hottest they picked me because

00:57:59.040 i'm the meanest that's why they picked me they bestowed that honor on me too like it's like i think

00:58:04.780 so when someone's unfunny it's like you're stupid you're yeah maybe not maybe you don't have the

00:58:09.760 same humor but you're actually done like that's what i think i think i think that too i'm like

00:58:13.900 humor and beauty are both subjective so it really just depends objective to a degree i feel that's

00:58:19.080 true like you can just kind of be like oh like they're cute but not my vibe yeah like same thing

00:58:24.220 like they're funny but not my humor that's true yeah and it's also like if the only people who say

00:58:28.940 that like find like racism funny so like i'm okay if you don't find me funny like that's cool with me

00:58:34.000 i'm scared that's all right with me i i really don't want you in my house so like get out you know

00:58:39.380 like that's why i'm like then tell me a joke i'm screaming i want you to tell me a joke that

00:58:44.180 you find genuinely funny for me like i'm just like that's the comment that i'll get a lot is

00:58:48.460 either like you oh my god you fake laugh yeah same i'm like like guys you don't understand i cut

00:58:55.080 out the laughing like i actually go in and edit and cut out the laughing me too the ones that i can't

00:58:59.620 get out same so i'm like i promise no like there's that and then there's the the like oh it's not

00:59:07.180 like it's not funny it's not funny i'm like okay fine like i don't i never you know what i'm gonna

00:59:11.980 do delete my whole account now that i read that i'm never gonna create again it's a story time i

00:59:16.500 never promised funny it could be scary you don't know that but i never but like hang around and

00:59:20.780 let's find out together i think yeah the it's not funny i get that the fake laughing like why do you

00:59:26.040 laugh so often like after everything and one time i made a video saying like i'm funny i find myself

00:59:32.100 hilarious so that's why i'm laughing i'm like maybe you can't relate i feel like maybe you don't

00:59:38.180 laugh very often at yourself like people are laughing more so at you than they are with you

00:59:42.020 i can't relate babe like i love my own jokes i'm not gonna lie me too all the time like just like

00:59:48.800 watching tv commentary i will make myself laugh dude i just thought i just thought of a joke oh me

00:59:54.840 too i love doing commentary oh my god my sister and i talk during movies all the time and shows

00:59:59.740 i hate people stay silent like i don't know what you're thinking and i was my mom refuses to sit

01:00:04.000 next to us because we talk too much in the movies and she like needs to focus my my boyfriend just

01:00:08.740 got used to it like me talking the whole time i'm like i'm like did you hear me did you hear what i

01:00:12.780 said he's like yes i heard you i'm trying to watch i'm all right whatever the joke yeah i will repeat

01:00:19.460 the joke if you don't acknowledge it i will repeat it it's honestly fine like one one time someone

01:00:24.700 commented on one of my videos this is like to this day this makes me laugh but like they wrote

01:00:29.420 what the what the hell is an uggo because i call people uggos so they said what is an uggo that's

01:00:35.920 what they wrote and then i wrote back go look in the mirror i laughed for an hour dude i was laughing

01:00:40.820 so hard bro i was literally laughing so hard i started crying and i was showing my boyfriend and

01:00:45.620 he was like he laughed but like not as long as hard as i did but i was like because you just got so

01:00:50.480 got bro like so i just said go look in the mirror and then he just blocked me like immediately he

01:00:57.520 didn't even want to talk to me after that and i was like shit like that makes me laugh so hard

01:01:02.840 like joe mama jokes i was gonna say these nuts jokes anyone says anything annoying i just reply

01:01:08.340 your mom but because i think it hits better like your mom you know what i mean like it hits better

01:01:15.000 like your mom but it's just it hits better i don't know so i love to just throw that in there

01:01:20.640 i know i i one time did like a like i had a video that went viral and then defending somebody and

01:01:27.680 then he like the dude that i ripped up he like made like 15 videos about me was trying to like

01:01:33.560 mobilize the gym community against me like he literally lost his marbles and so like i made a

01:01:38.960 one response video and i was like typically i don't revisit the grave sides of my roast but like this dude

01:01:44.100 made a lot of accusations so i'm gonna like address them all in one video so i did the whole thing

01:01:48.500 it was relatively serious to an extent i still made jokes here and there but like it was pretty

01:01:52.780 serious and then at the end i was like you said you're all about spreading love right and i showed

01:01:57.460 all these death threats that his followers were sending me and also so obviously you're not about

01:02:01.540 spreading love right and i said but you know what you can spread these nuts and that's how i ended and

01:02:07.040 that's how i ended the video and someone wrote on my video they said you can say what you want about

01:02:13.120 her but you're lying if you said that that last part didn't make you laugh like you're lying if that

01:02:17.580 last part didn't make you laugh i remember that video i think that's one of the videos that made

01:02:20.920 me and someone someone wrote underneath it they said gets me every time like a deez nuts joke like

01:02:25.920 it hits every time it's so funny it's funnier when it's someone that you don't expect

01:02:29.620 like it's like a meninist type video yeah like it's like oh that's not funny yeah but you saying it

01:02:35.360 that's like oh plot twist like like a joe mama joke i'm screaming i i try to get people with those all

01:02:42.220 the time i go i think they think you're related to joe and then they go i said that i got my

01:02:47.380 boyfriend so good one time we were talking about something random and i was with my sister and i

01:02:52.380 was like he's like yeah i think they they were talking about our families i was like no i think

01:02:56.140 they think you're joe's son and he's like who's joe and then i was like because i couldn't believe i

01:03:02.580 got him dude yeah i was like i got him so good bro i said joe mama and then like we all laughed

01:03:12.860 so hard and he was like all right all right i was like i got that was like three years ago and i

01:03:17.240 still bring it up to this day counting down the days till i get him again i honestly i love doing

01:03:23.920 like what are they the puns i love an annoying pun yeah same a dad joke it is the funnier it is to me

01:03:31.020 oh you know what i love i love to do things like dad jokes kind of where they're like you know when

01:03:36.300 you you know when you pull up to a place and like you're about to park and someone pulls out of a

01:03:40.960 spot like right in front and then you go oh they knew we were coming i'm i say shit like that all

01:03:46.280 the time or like when you go and put your name in a restaurant and then a bunch of people coming

01:03:50.620 after you're all we came just in time or like you eat you eat your whole meal and then the the

01:03:58.280 waiter comes they're like how did we um did you guys enjoy it and they're like no i hated it

01:04:02.580 because like all your food's gone see i know it's your show but guys it's like i hated every bit of

01:04:10.640 it like i say shit like that all the time because i honestly love it it makes me laugh because i'm if

01:04:16.340 you unzipped my face i'd be like a 90 year old white dude i'm convinced i'm convinced what's the

01:04:21.260 name of the british white dude that does the nature stuff david attenborough that's never mind not him

01:04:26.540 he's not inside me no no no no no no i rebuke i rebuke that name no i was talking about david

01:04:34.980 attenborough i thought you were making fun of so much i was talking about paul hollywood so that's

01:04:38.980 who i was talking about all right i think that's gonna do it for our episode today i want to say i'm

01:04:45.740 crying a very special thank you to adib for being here i adore you you're so i love me too thank you

01:04:53.380 i love you you love you i'm screaming i am a leo so i'll love that for us i hate that but

01:05:00.780 do you really i'm a leo the cancer moon i feel like it's me too i'm a cancer moon okay i'm a

01:05:06.220 virgo sun though what's your i like virgos i'm a gemini oh that's why you're so chaotic i'm screaming

01:05:12.860 that's why you're so chaotic you live life on the edge i describe like well no not gemini's i was

01:05:19.040 never mind my joke was gonna my joke would be so funny if you were an aries but i'm you're not so

01:05:24.700 never mind but i want to thank you so much for joining us today i adore you i'm so happy i met

01:05:30.980 you me too you're the sweetest and where can everybody find you um on everything at the i don't

01:05:37.440 know easy peasy no literally just a d e i no i'm kidding you can spell it for them it'll see it on

01:05:43.900 the screen but i feel like it's fine okay you don't need to find honestly block me if you're

01:05:47.520 fine don't worry about it and thank you all for joining us today on this episode of the comment

01:05:53.460 section show if you want to catch full length episodes you can subscribe to the past your

01:05:57.960 bedtime youtube channel they drop every wednesday at 12 p.m pacific standard time and for those of

01:06:02.680 you who want to stream the comment section they're available on all streaming platforms

01:06:06.120 spotify apple podcast amazon wherever come find me bitch you know where to find me

01:06:12.080 and i want to thank adib once again for joining us and we'll see you next week bye

01:06:17.140 you

01:06:17.640 you

01:06:23.200 you

01:06:25.200 you

01:06:27.200 you

01:06:29.200 you

WHAT'S YOUR 'WHITE PEOPLE' LAUGH？｜ Drew Afualo ft. Adeib ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 23

Summary

Transcript

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

WHAT'S YOUR 'WHITE PEOPLE' LAUGH？ ｜ Drew Afualo ft. Adeib ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 23

Summary

Transcript

WHAT'S YOUR 'WHITE PEOPLE' LAUGH？｜ Drew Afualo ft. Adeib ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 23