The Golden One - February 16, 2015


Nord of Skyrim Chapter 16


Episode Stats

Length

18 minutes

Words per Minute

120.71279

Word Count

2,249

Sentence Count

343

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Greetings, oh glorious childrens and proud sons of Skyrim.
00:00:12.000 Welcome back. You are very welcome back.
00:00:15.420 We have a beautiful day here, and we're gonna liberate the Reach from the blasphemous Imperials.
00:00:21.880 So, as I said in the last episode, it might have been my best if it weren't for the fact that my hair wasn't perfect.
00:00:30.760 Now I think the hair is looking really, really good.
00:00:33.960 So I'm gonna try to match the quality of the hair with my intensity in this episode.
00:00:40.060 So I'm gonna try to make this a fucking juicy episode.
00:00:44.120 Sick!
00:00:45.760 Fusique!
00:00:47.080 In all actuality.
00:00:48.280 Okay, so I'm gonna talk about...
00:00:52.280 Well, I'm running here, so I don't have to shout my war screams like,
00:00:56.280 Dollars, I love you!
00:00:58.420 I'm gonna talk a bit about my...
00:01:00.720 Oh, look, a Nurn Root.
00:01:02.500 I love Nurn Root.
00:01:03.960 Really high in protein as well.
00:01:05.680 I'm gonna try to...
00:01:07.760 Get up somewhere.
00:01:10.960 I'm gonna try to get up here.
00:01:13.220 Yeah, I'm gonna talk a bit about my training, actually.
00:01:16.040 Uh, my plans for, uh...
00:01:21.000 For the coming time.
00:01:22.820 I, um...
00:01:25.540 It's early February now.
00:01:28.720 Now.
00:01:30.040 There's Ramsey Snow, by the way.
00:01:31.800 When I say now.
00:01:34.040 Um...
00:01:34.520 Oh, look, uh, Glorious Fortress.
00:01:38.860 How quaint.
00:01:40.480 Uh, yeah.
00:01:41.200 It's February now.
00:01:44.860 I'm gonna ease in to the cut a bit.
00:01:48.300 I don't really cut.
00:01:49.580 I recomp.
00:01:50.780 And what I mean by that is I recomposition my body.
00:01:53.800 I go so slowly that I can still...
00:01:56.820 Gain strength and muscle.
00:02:00.560 Because, you know, I still have fat on my body.
00:02:02.860 It's different when you're, like, 7% body fat.
00:02:06.100 Because then...
00:02:06.880 Then you don't wanna burn any more fat.
00:02:09.560 Like, the body doesn't want to.
00:02:11.040 But now, um...
00:02:12.440 I can do that.
00:02:13.080 I can still...
00:02:14.640 Eat at a caloric deficit.
00:02:16.280 But I'm not really at a deficit.
00:02:17.660 Because I have stored fat.
00:02:19.060 Like, obviously, I'm not fat or anything.
00:02:21.640 Um...
00:02:22.440 As you might see.
00:02:24.540 But I need to be a bit more lean for the coming photoshoot season.
00:02:28.820 So, basically, I recomposition.
00:02:30.840 I try to get stronger all the time.
00:02:35.380 Uh...
00:02:35.820 Even when I try to eat a bit less.
00:02:39.960 Uh...
00:02:40.680 Etc.
00:02:42.160 Oh, look, here we are.
00:02:44.400 Oh, that was a close call.
00:02:46.820 Uh...
00:02:47.460 But now, I mainly switched my diet to eat more protein and more fat.
00:02:52.580 As opposed to carbs.
00:02:53.680 Carbs is my...
00:02:54.900 If I want to get as strong as possible, then I eat a lot of carbs.
00:02:57.780 But now, I wanna lean out a bit.
00:02:59.940 Be...
00:03:00.340 Be ready for the photoshoot season.
00:03:02.240 I'm really excited for that.
00:03:03.980 Like, I have, um...
00:03:05.220 A great many ideas of what I'm gonna shoot as, uh...
00:03:09.220 And, you know, photographers that are willing to...
00:03:13.220 Work with me.
00:03:15.200 In all actuality.
00:03:16.020 Greetings to your friends.
00:03:17.400 Fuckin' massive.
00:03:20.840 Reporting in Maine.
00:03:22.000 Darkhearth.
00:03:23.700 Rumor has it.
00:03:25.040 The Jarl's steward, Rayrek.
00:03:27.020 Ah...
00:03:27.520 Faithful Talos worshiper, if not a true son of Skyrim.
00:03:32.040 He still supports the Empire, after all.
00:03:35.440 Such heresy.
00:03:36.920 How dare he?
00:03:37.580 Look at those guns, though.
00:03:50.040 This one.
00:03:50.480 The Jarl's men won't look kindly on you, rummaging through the steward's quarters.
00:03:57.760 I'll get proof.
00:03:59.220 And Rayrek's corporation.
00:04:00.360 I can always come on you, can't I?
00:04:02.200 You can.
00:04:03.600 All righty, then.
00:04:04.600 Look at this cool place, though.
00:04:06.740 It's really nice.
00:04:08.000 Find evidence.
00:04:10.400 Let's...
00:04:11.040 Let's do it.
00:04:13.140 Compelling tribute.
00:04:14.180 Haven't I discovered?
00:04:20.700 Oh, I haven't been into Markart yet.
00:04:23.020 How...
00:04:23.500 How silly of me.
00:04:25.480 In all actuality.
00:04:26.780 So, yeah.
00:04:27.200 And, um...
00:04:28.960 The kind of photo shoots I do is called time for print, which means that the photographer
00:04:34.500 is, if I'm abroad, they're paying for the flights and, uh, food and, you know, the stay
00:04:42.580 and everything like that.
00:04:44.120 And I pay, basically, with my time and coming in with a good shape, like, um...
00:04:50.340 Because you don't...
00:04:51.620 It's really disrespectful if you come to...
00:04:53.500 If, like, a photographer paid for your flight and you're not even in shape, like...
00:04:57.200 So, uh...
00:05:01.380 Just, you know, be in good shape and then you create art together.
00:05:04.480 And then both the photographer and the model, me in this case, can utilize those pictures,
00:05:11.640 Um...
00:05:12.040 Later on to get work, like, so if a photographer wants to work with me, then he can use our pictures
00:05:19.020 that we created together to, you know, uh, show a potential, um, employer, et cetera.
00:05:27.200 And same for me, like, I can, uh, you know, show, uh...
00:05:31.380 I'm not hiding, priest.
00:05:32.920 I'm not hiding anything.
00:05:34.280 It's closed for a reason.
00:05:36.000 Sickening.
00:05:36.520 Typical imperial lies.
00:05:38.660 Typical imperial lies, I hear that.
00:05:40.640 So, yeah, that's, that's kind of photo shoots.
00:05:42.540 I haven't, uh, except for, obviously, the travels and stuff, um...
00:05:46.560 I haven't made any money on it.
00:05:51.000 But, you know, it's, uh, it's a really cool thing to...
00:05:54.740 Oh, lots of elves.
00:05:55.960 Greetings, elves.
00:05:56.880 We don't like you.
00:05:58.240 We don't like your kind here.
00:06:00.380 Go away.
00:06:01.840 Nice armors, though.
00:06:04.740 Uh, so, yeah, that's...
00:06:05.560 Oh, god.
00:06:09.260 Am I actually gonna have to sneak here?
00:06:21.020 Must I do that, in all actuality?
00:06:23.760 If I sneak?
00:06:26.680 Can I do this?
00:06:28.140 Perhaps I can.
00:06:28.860 Ah, look at that.
00:06:33.600 Brilliant, true friends.
00:06:37.160 Look at this chamber of wisdom.
00:06:39.980 Steal from dresser.
00:06:44.500 Dun-dun-dun.
00:06:46.420 Now, let's blackmail Rerek.
00:06:49.680 Look at how juicy I look when I sneak.
00:06:53.820 Am I actually trespassing, or...
00:06:56.080 Look at this, uh, Dwemer thangs, though.
00:06:59.580 Hello, Thalmor.
00:07:01.080 You!
00:07:01.840 Who are you to approach the Yara...
00:07:03.580 Who am I?
00:07:04.460 Who the fuck are you?
00:07:05.500 How dare you?
00:07:08.320 I'm a traveler.
00:07:09.320 I have questions.
00:07:09.900 Very well.
00:07:10.780 You may approach the mournful throne.
00:07:13.020 But watch your words.
00:07:14.480 And keep your eyes open for Forsthorn when you're on the roads.
00:07:18.080 Hello, Rarek.
00:07:19.180 I'm Igmund's uncle, Alge.
00:07:20.780 Not here.
00:07:22.200 Come with me.
00:07:23.580 Stay close, and the guards will leave you alone.
00:07:26.880 Sounds good, Maine.
00:07:27.940 They could be working with the Forsthorn, for all we know.
00:07:30.860 Enough.
00:07:31.680 We can't imprison the very people that own the jail we've been throwing them into.
00:07:35.620 The Silverblood family are to be left alone.
00:07:38.200 Am I clear?
00:07:39.600 Yes, my young.
00:07:40.660 The Silverbloods.
00:07:42.840 According to legend, they're juicy.
00:07:44.540 Okay, let's talk to this guy now.
00:07:47.520 Greetings, true friend.
00:07:49.120 So yeah, speaking of my diet and cut, I'm going to try to be in good shape for maybe April,
00:07:59.080 something like that.
00:08:00.380 Get a good tan on, practice a good bit of posing so I know exactly what poses I will strike
00:08:05.860 in front of the camera.
00:08:07.860 Get a good few pictures, get more opportunities, stuff like that.
00:08:11.500 Just expand myself, actually.
00:08:20.260 In all actuality.
00:08:21.340 I suppose you're here to extort something from me.
00:08:24.980 If you believe in DALOS, why don't you join our cause?
00:08:27.960 So, you're one of Ulfric's spies.
00:08:31.760 I can't deny the man is right about a few things, but I've seen firsthand what Ulfric is capable of,
00:08:38.980 given the chance.
00:08:40.220 Sickening.
00:08:40.620 Suffice it to say, he is no friend to Markarth, and no friend of mine.
00:08:45.380 He's a true friend, for God's sake.
00:08:47.140 How dare you talk to him about that.
00:08:48.380 To my nephew, and to this city.
00:08:53.020 Perhaps we could come to some sort for green.
00:08:55.240 What if I told you about a large shipment of silver and weapons?
00:08:59.980 Ah, go on.
00:09:01.440 I'm listening.
00:09:02.900 Oh no, I won't tell you anything more until we have an agreement.
00:09:06.600 A greedy bastard.
00:09:10.840 Well, I suppose I'm not left much choice of a liar, am I?
00:09:13.320 Always go for the persuasion choice.
00:09:15.760 Very well.
00:09:16.780 I trust a hefty purse of septums will suffice.
00:09:19.760 Yeah, and some amino acids.
00:09:21.340 They're taking it by wagon to solitude.
00:09:26.600 Ah, time for some juiciness.
00:09:29.480 It'll be a fairly slow-moving caravan.
00:09:32.140 The shipment's quite heavy, and guarded by many men.
00:09:36.100 Now, let's pretend we never had this discussion.
00:09:41.660 Sick.
00:09:42.420 I have letters to read.
00:09:43.420 That's cool.
00:09:49.380 Glory to Makaton.
00:09:54.100 So, we're going to report back to Galamar Stonefist the Juicy.
00:09:58.660 That is one juicy dude right there.
00:10:02.120 Yeah, so that's what's up.
00:10:03.420 So, what I've been working on for the last year is regards to my sick physique.
00:10:13.520 It's mainly been the chest.
00:10:16.320 I thought that was a lacking part a bit since I have, you know, broad shoulders and a big
00:10:22.420 back, big delts.
00:10:24.680 The chest has been, you know, dwarfed by them.
00:10:28.560 So, I've worked on that, and obviously I do that via post-bench.
00:10:32.040 Greetings.
00:10:32.280 Some say, ooh, Frick.
00:10:34.500 Good job.
00:10:35.900 I knew you'd come back with something for me.
00:10:38.160 Indeed, Trifrit.
00:10:38.960 It just so happens I've got some scouts along the road.
00:10:42.080 Meet up with them, and together see if you can't overpower the caravan.
00:10:49.020 Alrighty then.
00:10:51.740 Bonebreaker.
00:10:53.840 Watch yourself out there.
00:10:55.380 I will indeed meet the men.
00:10:59.820 Oh, are they there, of all places?
00:11:02.960 I don't want to do that.
00:11:04.740 It's tedious and boring.
00:11:06.880 I'm going to wait until it's light again, so we don't run around in darkness.
00:11:10.920 I want us all to admire the beauty of Skyrim, in all actuality.
00:11:18.640 Okay, where are you then, you juicy sons of Skyrim?
00:11:22.800 Are you still there?
00:11:23.460 Meet the men.
00:11:25.800 I don't want some snotty elf telling me who I can worship or not.
00:11:32.860 I think that's what she was going to say.
00:11:36.900 And now we didn't get a beautiful day in Skyrim either way.
00:11:41.200 Such a pity, isn't it?
00:11:46.400 Greetings, little fox.
00:11:47.780 There you.
00:11:48.180 So, yeah.
00:11:55.020 Chest has been a priority of mine.
00:12:00.780 Actually, and...
00:12:02.520 I feel that it's coming along nice enough, I suppose.
00:12:09.640 Do you really want to fight me?
00:12:15.860 Or do you just stand there?
00:12:22.960 Forzworn looter.
00:12:25.480 I'm not going to fight them, actually.
00:12:27.100 I'm going to run for the hills.
00:12:29.500 Because the Forzworn are actually quite cool, to be honest.
00:12:33.080 Like, they...
00:12:34.800 I think they're the natives in this part.
00:12:38.600 Like, the Reach.
00:12:39.700 Natives of the Reach.
00:12:40.740 So I can...
00:12:42.080 I understand what they...
00:12:45.460 I'm getting sick of the rabbit.
00:12:49.700 Hey there, true friend.
00:12:53.180 How are thou today?
00:12:54.820 The Reach is a beautiful but dangerous place, eh?
00:12:58.500 One false step and you'll fall to your death.
00:13:01.560 That is, if those Forzworn don't get you first.
00:13:04.880 Indeed.
00:13:05.360 Have you seen those Briarheart men?
00:13:08.380 Yeah, they're juices fucking all that child.
00:13:10.860 They are.
00:13:11.580 I can confirm.
00:13:12.140 You have the look of purpose in your eyes.
00:13:17.300 Really?
00:13:18.460 It just so happens we've been tracking a wagon.
00:13:21.500 For about a day now.
00:13:23.380 So that's what's in there.
00:13:25.520 Coins and weapons.
00:13:27.540 How do you know that?
00:13:29.940 I blackmailed Rarik for the information.
00:13:33.400 Indeed.
00:13:34.240 Thanks.
00:13:34.520 I'm sure having a steward in the pocket will come in handy.
00:13:37.600 Lucky for us that the wagon recently had a little...
00:13:41.300 accident.
00:13:42.840 They're stranded now, just up the road.
00:13:45.480 All right then, let's do it, true friends.
00:13:47.380 But I have a plan.
00:13:49.100 You got here just in time.
00:13:51.380 Okay.
00:13:52.300 Talk to me.
00:13:52.880 What's the plan?
00:13:53.380 First, we're going to take out their sentry.
00:13:55.260 Then we'll situate ourselves overlooking the camp.
00:13:58.540 Next, you'll infiltrate their position and get their attention.
00:14:02.060 While we hit them with a barrage of arrows.
00:14:04.040 With a bit of luck, we'll catch them completely off guard and even the odds are little.
00:14:09.300 I have a better plan.
00:14:15.360 You wait here and I'll take care of it.
00:14:17.000 All right, if you insist.
00:14:18.300 But we'll come running if it sounds like things have gotten out of hand.
00:14:21.220 That's it, man.
00:14:23.500 That's it.
00:14:24.720 Take over the caravan.
00:14:27.680 All right then.
00:14:29.140 Let's change power.
00:14:31.680 We're going to go with our shout.
00:14:33.820 Unrelenting force.
00:14:37.640 And then we have our trusted crossbow as well.
00:14:40.840 And look at this beautiful Skyrim weather.
00:14:44.880 With a sick physique.
00:14:47.280 How dare you talk to me like that.
00:14:49.460 Oh, a dragon up ahead as well.
00:14:52.160 Boom.
00:14:52.520 Oh.
00:14:52.580 All right, let's engage in close combat there.
00:15:01.220 Ah, fuck.
00:15:02.280 He got me.
00:15:03.420 Boom.
00:15:09.380 Whoop.
00:15:10.560 We are out on very thin ice here, true friends.
00:15:14.680 All right, let's get the help of the true friends here.
00:15:39.020 Ah, no.
00:15:41.140 Fuck.
00:15:42.620 Dallas, I love you.
00:15:44.680 Come on, let's see if we have another potion.
00:15:46.380 Otherwise, I might be in a bit of trouble.
00:15:49.120 Minor healing.
00:15:49.800 Okay, thank you for that.
00:15:51.380 Run.
00:15:51.800 I'm going to save.
00:15:52.440 Quick save.
00:15:58.180 Dallas.
00:16:03.980 I'm not going to edit that way.
00:16:05.700 I died.
00:16:06.320 Fair and square.
00:16:07.220 We'll get them this time.
00:16:09.020 Oh, look at that.
00:16:09.520 Plenty of healing.
00:16:10.400 How quaint.
00:16:14.680 All right, now.
00:16:19.400 Oh, that must have been some bog of some sort that it turns into an ash pile.
00:16:25.400 How unglorious.
00:16:26.440 But that guy died like he should.
00:16:30.060 Anyway.
00:16:35.120 Now, Dallas, I love you.
00:16:37.380 Oh, report to Roloff.
00:16:40.140 That was a very easy takeover in all actuality.
00:16:51.660 What?
00:16:52.760 How dare you talk to me like that?
00:16:54.500 I thought we were friends.
00:16:56.620 Roloff, come on.
00:16:57.400 Glad you're here.
00:16:58.900 Yes, I'm glad as well.
00:17:02.140 Liberate the Reach.
00:17:05.140 Who am I supposed to talk to then?
00:17:07.260 Not you, Roloff.
00:17:08.460 We'll show those.
00:17:12.780 Oh, I suppose I'm going to talk to Galmar Stonefist.
00:17:19.940 For optimal gains.
00:17:26.620 Greetings, true friend.
00:17:30.120 Ah, look at this.
00:17:31.140 800 gold.
00:17:32.260 Gonna buy me something nice.
00:17:41.000 Reporting in.
00:17:44.100 How about that?
00:17:49.940 The fort is as good as ours.
00:17:59.820 Sickening.
00:18:02.840 Talos, I love you.
00:18:04.480 Alright, that will have to do it for this glorious episode.
00:18:12.200 Oh, juicy Skyrim.
00:18:14.500 Thank you so much for watching.
00:18:15.720 And I will, to the next episode, I might install a good few mods and then we'll start one of those campaigns also.
00:18:24.520 Now I'm going to hit the gym to make some gains so I look fucking ultra glorious for the coming photoshoots this year.
00:18:33.240 And who am I?
00:18:34.260 I'm the Golden Nord of Skyrim.
00:18:36.600 XXO.
00:18:37.440 Boom.