The Golden One - November 01, 2014


Shadow of Mordor Let's Play Part 11


Episode Stats

Length

28 minutes

Words per Minute

76.223114

Word Count

2,150

Sentence Count

343

Misogynist Sentences

30

Hate Speech Sentences

14


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Greetings, children, and welcome back to Mordor.
00:00:11.000 Today we will find a cure for the frail old lady who actually turned into a proper milf.
00:00:18.000 So we have a nice and clear day here.
00:00:24.000 And we're gonna initiate the mission, the cure.
00:00:30.000 So she was actually possessed by our Sormund.
00:00:39.000 Oh, look at that, human preference.
00:00:45.000 That's a glorious copy as well.
00:00:54.000 Aw, I know what he wants.
00:00:58.000 Sickening.
00:01:00.000 I will take care of the orps.
00:01:03.000 We could follow behind unsaid.
00:01:07.000 We get the medicine, and we live.
00:01:13.000 See, it looks quite glorious, to be honest.
00:01:17.000 The white wizard is taking his toll on the queen.
00:01:20.000 Only in stealth can we clear a path so Lothariel and the men may find the elixir.
00:01:25.000 Okay, here we go again.
00:01:26.000 Stealth.
00:01:27.000 My Achilles heel.
00:01:30.000 Will clear the queen's mind and lead to answers of your past.
00:01:34.000 And if you are not aware of the term Achilles heel.
00:01:41.000 Achilles could only be killed by a wound to his heel.
00:01:49.000 And Paris shot him in the heel and thus killed him.
00:01:52.000 He was unkillable at any other place.
00:01:56.000 And, yeah.
00:01:58.000 I'll see how I can manage this without dying.
00:02:11.000 It might just be the case, true friends.
00:02:14.000 That I, the juicy one.
00:02:16.000 I've managed to stay alive longer than anyone else here.
00:02:19.000 And I still haven't got promoted.
00:02:22.000 I might have to do this a few times once I usually fail.
00:02:30.000 Luckily, we have...
00:02:41.000 Oh, fuck.
00:02:51.000 Oh, fuck.
00:02:53.000 Okay, yeah.
00:02:54.000 I can't let him get to...
00:02:58.000 Get to the...
00:02:59.000 Oh, fuck.
00:03:00.000 There we go.
00:03:01.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:03:06.000 Okay.
00:03:07.000 Let us try that again.
00:03:12.000 I'm not gonna edit away just everything.
00:03:14.000 I guess because I failed the first time.
00:03:22.000 Oh, ability point granted.
00:03:23.000 How quaint.
00:03:26.000 Unlock ability.
00:03:27.000 Let's start with that.
00:03:31.000 Yes, please.
00:03:33.000 I'm gonna go with that.
00:03:34.000 No question about it at all.
00:03:37.000 True friends.
00:03:46.000 Boom.
00:03:52.000 I'm gonna do it like this.
00:03:53.000 I'm gonna stand here.
00:03:54.000 I'm gonna stand close to it so that they don't...
00:04:07.000 get the chance to...
00:04:24.000 to zip,
00:04:39.000 Know what?
00:04:40.000 Did you hear that?
00:04:41.000 Cool!
00:04:47.000 Right, dark!
00:04:49.000 Out of fear!
00:04:51.000 Now, now, I will have to defend this flame, whoops, that was silly of me.
00:05:17.200 And you as well.
00:05:38.700 Alright, cool, I have cleared one area. Let us see if I can do it again.
00:05:47.200 I need me some good old elf shots. Perhaps I can brand this, this bastard.
00:05:59.200 Attract. And if you brand, you regain your glorious elf arrows.
00:06:10.200 I hope I get to kill the soft skin all by myself, so I don't have to share the reward with any of you, Claus.
00:06:19.200 Hello, hello.
00:06:22.200 Hello.
00:06:23.200 Where is the beacon now?
00:06:34.200 That was a very, very close call.
00:06:41.200 Now, kill him.
00:06:46.200 And we don't want anyone else to...
00:06:53.200 Oh look, we have a new Sword of Glory, how quaint.
00:06:59.200 Exquisite students.
00:07:12.200 Exquisite students.
00:07:33.200 Hello.
00:07:34.200 Oh, I have acquired a Karabor, brah.
00:07:43.200 I can drain him for some extra gains.
00:07:49.200 I can go to dismount and...
00:07:59.200 And go about my business.
00:08:02.200 And look at this fine town.
00:08:06.200 Like, it's rugged as fuck, but I really like it in a way.
00:08:09.200 It's gloriously orcish in its ways.
00:08:13.200 And I mean, they have good camaraderie.
00:08:17.200 Go to the gym together.
00:08:20.200 Fight other Uruks together.
00:08:31.200 Hmm, I wonder what that kind of thing is.
00:08:34.200 Well, slay him.
00:08:37.200 Aha, it's a...
00:08:47.200 Oh no, you fucking bloody well will not, you bastard.
00:08:51.200 Come on, execute him.
00:08:52.200 Yes.
00:08:54.200 Execution.
00:08:55.200 Yes.
00:09:00.200 Man-filth!
00:09:01.200 You look a bit of Uruk fighting Uruk, do you?
00:09:04.200 Yeah, I do.
00:09:05.200 Come on there, join me!
00:09:06.200 Oh yeah, I rather fancy that.
00:09:07.200 I'm not gonna say that.
00:09:08.200 You're hiding the steps down, guards.
00:09:11.200 Time to show you real power.
00:09:16.200 Whoa, fuck.
00:09:19.200 Now, yes.
00:09:22.200 Aha, nice.
00:09:37.200 I only...
00:09:38.200 I didn't have to redo it at all.
00:09:43.200 But I rather like that this game is very challenging.
00:09:56.200 Hello!
00:09:59.200 That's exactly how it goes.
00:10:03.200 They should know that by now.
00:10:06.200 But he didn't really have a choice, so I don't blame him.
00:10:16.200 Ah, my true friends, the Beast of Glory.
00:10:20.200 Who?
00:10:21.200 The game!
00:10:22.200 You!
00:10:23.200 You!
00:10:24.200 You!
00:10:25.200 You!
00:10:26.200 Your suffering will be sweet delight.
00:10:27.200 Like a Turkish delight.
00:10:28.200 I haven't eaten those in a while actually.
00:10:29.200 For some reason I should.
00:10:30.200 Considering it's Bulk for the Hulk.
00:10:31.200 But we don't really have them in Sweden.
00:10:32.200 I haven't found them yet though.
00:10:33.200 I haven't found them yet though.
00:10:34.200 You!
00:10:38.200 Like a Turkish delight. I haven't eaten those in a while, actually, for some reason.
00:10:42.200 I should, considering it's Bulk for the Hulk.
00:10:47.200 But we don't really have them in Sweden. I haven't found them yet, though.
00:10:52.200 And execute them.
00:10:58.200 Goodbye, you filthy cunt.
00:11:05.200 Ah, did you find what you needed?
00:11:08.200 Some glorious humans.
00:11:10.200 Take this to the Queen.
00:11:11.200 I doubt any medicine of men will cure a queen.
00:11:15.200 Let's hope that it heals your mother.
00:11:18.200 We found this message.
00:11:20.200 Ork leaders plan a gathering by the fishing village.
00:11:23.200 We can prepare an ambush.
00:11:25.200 I owe you a blessing.
00:11:27.200 I'm glad to be of assistance.
00:11:30.200 We are lucky to have you.
00:11:32.200 These are not your people.
00:11:33.200 She wants to be.
00:11:34.200 Remember your wife and son.
00:11:37.200 Well, I mustn't keep you.
00:11:40.200 I think the Elf of Juiceness is a bit...
00:11:42.200 Every moment is precious.
00:11:45.200 Yeah, I think Talion can get a little romance here.
00:11:49.200 That wouldn't hurt him, like, he has been lonely for so long.
00:11:55.200 The mission.
00:11:56.200 The rescue.
00:11:57.200 It's sick.
00:11:58.200 Let's go there immediately.
00:11:59.200 True friends.
00:12:00.200 And I thought like this.
00:12:01.200 When I started looking at making Let's Plays, I was like, okay, 20 to 30 minutes.
00:12:06.200 But fuck everything.
00:12:07.200 I'm gonna make longer episodes.
00:12:08.200 And then it doesn't matter if I do them, uh...
00:12:09.200 Do them shorter.
00:12:10.200 Oh, what's that?
00:12:11.200 You just talk some more.
00:12:12.200 You won't get me that one!
00:12:13.200 Young man!
00:12:14.200 Was a young man.
00:12:15.200 You won't escape this time, coward.
00:12:18.200 Corfel the Wise.
00:12:20.200 He likes to read books.
00:12:23.200 Oh, okay.
00:12:25.200 You won't get me that one!
00:12:27.200 Young man!
00:12:28.200 Is a young man.
00:12:30.200 You won't escape this time, coward.
00:12:31.200 was a young man.
00:12:35.200 Korfel the Wise.
00:12:37.200 He likes these books.
00:13:01.200 I'm gonna see if I can brand him.
00:13:09.200 Oh fuck.
00:13:11.200 Perhaps I can do that either way.
00:13:15.200 Yeah, I can make like fewer but longer episodes.
00:13:21.200 So I get time to do regular training videos and whatnot.
00:13:29.200 Boom.
00:13:31.200 That was a Pale Orc actually.
00:13:33.200 All of these guys are quite pale to be honest.
00:13:41.200 Oh well, never mind.
00:13:43.200 I killed him.
00:13:49.200 We got a Juicy Sword.
00:13:53.200 We got some power as well.
00:13:59.200 Hmm.
00:14:01.200 Well, perhaps not the best.
00:14:03.200 But it was fun executing him for standing against the might of men.
00:14:11.200 Right, let's do this ambush.
00:14:21.200 Aha.
00:14:23.200 Such a shame.
00:14:31.200 That is one Juicy Hench.
00:14:33.200 Put a bench guy.
00:14:35.200 That's what he used to be.
00:14:41.200 When you're done with her.
00:14:43.200 Hang her.
00:14:45.200 High.
00:14:47.200 Make sure the grave walker can find her.
00:14:51.200 All right.
00:14:53.200 This...
00:14:55.200 Come on.
00:14:56.200 Come on.
00:14:57.200 Come on.
00:14:58.200 Come on.
00:14:59.200 Come on.
00:15:00.200 Come on.
00:15:01.200 Come on.
00:15:02.200 Come on.
00:15:03.200 Come on.
00:15:04.200 Come on.
00:15:05.200 Come on.
00:15:06.200 Come on.
00:15:07.200 Come on.
00:15:08.200 Come on.
00:15:09.200 Son, how are we getting his name?
00:15:10.200 Just a fucking Juicy Orc.
00:15:11.200 Just how I like it.
00:15:12.200 Fuck.
00:15:24.200 Fuck.
00:15:27.200 Brand enemies without raising the alarm.
00:15:30.200 True friends, please.
00:15:42.200 No.
00:15:43.200 Wrong one.
00:15:44.200 It's you I want.
00:15:45.200 And a brand new.
00:15:46.200 There we are.
00:15:47.200 How nice.
00:15:48.200 Stay on your guard.
00:15:49.200 They might come back.
00:15:50.200 I need more enemies.
00:15:51.200 I need more enemies.
00:15:53.200 I need more enemies.
00:16:12.200 to be able to get out of the way.
00:16:13.200 But without raising the alarm.
00:16:15.200 Hmm.
00:16:16.200 Did you see the tower?
00:16:17.200 His armor cleave docks.
00:16:18.200 Aha.
00:16:19.200 We're gonna...
00:16:20.200 No.
00:16:21.200 No.
00:16:22.200 No.
00:16:23.200 No.
00:16:24.200 No.
00:16:25.200 No.
00:16:26.200 What are you doing Talion?
00:16:27.200 Come on.
00:16:28.200 That is what I wanted you to do.
00:16:31.200 Come on.
00:16:32.200 Come on.
00:16:33.200 Come on.
00:16:34.200 Come on.
00:16:35.200 Come on.
00:16:36.200 Come on.
00:16:37.200 Come on.
00:16:38.200 Come on.
00:16:39.200 Come on.
00:16:40.200 Come on.
00:16:41.200 Come on.
00:16:42.200 Come on.
00:16:43.200 Come on.
00:16:44.200 Come on.
00:16:45.200 Come on.
00:16:46.200 Come on.
00:16:47.200 Come on.
00:16:48.200 Come on.
00:16:49.200 Come on.
00:16:50.200 Come on.
00:16:51.200 Come on.
00:16:52.200 Ah.
00:16:53.200 Explosives.
00:16:54.200 There.
00:17:03.200 Wait.
00:17:05.200 I'll smell something.
00:17:12.200 something...
00:17:14.200 ...
00:17:35.200 Maybe one's left.
00:17:37.200 All right, utilize a quick little edit there, and I'll brand three more juicy orcs for the
00:17:52.300 glory of the Dark Lord.
00:17:56.600 Oh look there, a juicy shark.
00:18:02.800 How quaint.
00:18:04.800 I'm gonna go ahead and brand this one.
00:18:32.400 Oh, we can gain intel, nice.
00:18:37.400 Bulk fast feet.
00:18:40.400 Sickening.
00:18:49.400 Okay, two to go, without raising the alarm.
00:18:53.400 So I'm not gonna jeopardize anything here.
00:18:55.400 Oh, look at the sea.
00:18:57.400 It's really cool.
00:18:59.400 Yeah, as I've said like 50 times now, I'm really impressed with this game.
00:19:02.400 Just so fucking awesome to be back in Middle-earth in Mordor and just having a cool game.
00:19:11.400 Uh-huh, we got two...
00:19:27.400 Two cheeky cunts there.
00:19:30.400 Two cheeky cunts there as well.
00:19:32.400 You know what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fucking try.
00:19:48.400 Grab him, grab him, grab him.
00:19:49.400 Yes.
00:19:50.400 Ah.
00:19:51.400 Could we dominate you?
00:19:52.400 Okay, I have to find Lethariel.
00:19:54.400 Also.
00:19:55.400 I hope that's not...
00:19:56.400 Ah no, fuck.
00:19:57.400 You will not.
00:19:59.400 Well, it doesn't say anything about...
00:20:03.400 raising the alarm, so I'm just gonna...
00:20:05.400 ...I'm gonna...
00:20:06.400 ...I'm gonna kill you.
00:20:07.400 I'm gonna kill you.
00:20:08.400 I'm gonna kill you.
00:20:09.400 I'm gonna kill you.
00:20:10.400 I'm gonna kill you.
00:20:11.400 I'm gonna kill you.
00:20:12.400 I'm gonna kill you.
00:20:13.400 Okay, I have to find Lethariel.
00:20:14.400 Also.
00:20:15.400 I hope that's not...
00:20:16.400 Ah no, fuck.
00:20:17.400 You will not.
00:20:18.400 Well, it doesn't say anything about...
00:20:29.400 ...raising the alarm, so I'm just gonna...
00:20:32.400 ...I'm just gonna suppose that it's...
00:20:38.400 ...cool in the way.
00:20:40.400 Ah, nice.
00:20:42.400 Ah, look at that.
00:20:44.400 Mord.
00:20:46.400 Maybe if we make her bleed a little...
00:20:50.400 ...she'll start talking.
00:20:52.400 Down on her knees.
00:20:56.400 Down on her knees.
00:21:02.400 Spit out the truth.
00:21:03.400 Sprite with you.
00:21:04.400 Spit out your luck.
00:21:06.400 Where is the grave walker?
00:21:08.400 There.
00:21:09.400 Out.
00:21:10.400 You want the grave walker?
00:21:12.400 You dare.
00:21:13.400 Here I am!
00:21:14.400 Get him!
00:21:15.400 He's up above!
00:21:16.400 You are but a dog!
00:21:28.400 And I am your master!
00:21:33.400 Oh no!
00:21:34.400 And you as well.
00:21:53.400 I think I'm gonna brand you actually.
00:21:57.400 For the loss.
00:21:59.400 For the glory of the effort.
00:22:03.400 Carry Lilia to safety.
00:22:08.400 Hello girl.
00:22:09.400 What's the crack?
00:22:11.400 They forced me to watch as they killed my men.
00:22:14.400 One after another.
00:22:15.400 I know what you feel.
00:22:17.400 We must hurry.
00:22:18.400 The Uryx rally when their brethren fall.
00:22:20.400 Okay, I have to...
00:22:21.400 Clown your vengeance once we've escaped.
00:22:23.400 I don't seek vengeance.
00:22:25.400 I fight because it would be wrong not to.
00:22:28.400 I fight if you don't fight.
00:22:29.400 I fight.
00:22:30.400 Why aren't they?
00:22:39.400 That's one army I want to.
00:22:41.400 All right, let's...
00:22:42.400 Hope we are...
00:22:43.400 Oh that's our guy's actually, oh nice.
00:22:44.400 Then I will do so in your stead.
00:22:52.400 You bastard, how dare you!
00:22:54.400 I had a romantic moment with the girl.
00:22:57.400 with a girl and you spoilt it and now you'll pay the price
00:23:16.400 execute damnit buster
00:23:20.400 execute
00:23:25.400 no, that's the wrong one you can't
00:23:28.400 Talion, you're so silly sometimes you know that
00:23:42.400 that was alright
00:23:46.400 that looks like also our guy
00:23:49.400 look at that hair of glory
00:23:55.400 alright, come on now
00:24:13.400 we can't waste time standing around here
00:24:18.400 okay, i've told all the beasts to care of him
00:24:27.400 fuck
00:24:29.400 we must defend the fair, what glory
00:24:33.400 look at it, let's be serious now, boom
00:24:35.400 boom
00:24:42.400 this is how you treat the fair madam by the way
00:24:45.400 you take care of her and protect her
00:24:52.400 aww, such romance
00:24:54.400 the horde is endless
00:24:59.400 my sword can only take so many
00:25:01.400 aww fuck, that is
00:25:02.400 that is an endless horde
00:25:04.400 oh well, let's see if i can
00:25:08.400 if i can
00:25:12.400 manage it through the way
00:25:13.400 get away
00:25:27.400 alright, polo gaming mode
00:25:29.400 no, get the fuck away from her
00:25:31.400 bustards
00:25:32.400 i will be careful not to hit my own orcs as well
00:25:43.400 no, that was my orc
00:25:53.400 alright, nice work lads
00:25:54.400 nice work indeed
00:25:57.400 such a fun thing to have
00:26:00.400 like a couple of juicy orcs by your side
00:26:03.400 to help you
00:26:05.400 and aid you
00:26:07.400 and the weather here in Sweden right now
00:26:11.400 November is
00:26:13.400 dreary and grey
00:26:15.400 much like the weather here
00:26:17.400 actually
00:26:19.400 so it's a good time to be in
00:26:21.400 pre-work of gaming
00:26:22.400 gaming before i hit the gym
00:26:29.400 why the fuck not like it?
00:26:49.400 because he is not of this world
00:26:50.400 true friends
00:26:51.400 be a champion to my people
00:26:53.400 over there!
00:26:55.400 when you walk on your own
00:26:57.400 is that your answer?
00:26:59.400 milady!
00:27:00.400 help her!
00:27:02.400 let me help
00:27:04.400 you need to leave this place immediately
00:27:05.400 it's not safe
00:27:07.400 thank you, ranger
00:27:08.400 ranger
00:27:09.400 we will see each other again
00:27:12.400 oh fair maiden
00:27:16.400 when my elf
00:27:18.400 my inner elf isn't so
00:27:20.400 hellbent on not getting me
00:27:25.400 romantically
00:27:27.400 to rescue
00:27:28.400 the firework
00:27:30.400 men will not survive
00:27:32.400 yeah next time
00:27:34.400 we'll do
00:27:36.400 lord of mordor
00:27:38.400 so we can assault the black hand
00:27:39.400 and make him pay for his blasphemous crimes
00:27:41.400 you know who am i?
00:27:44.400 i'm the new
00:27:46.400 lord of mordor
00:27:47.400 so
00:27:51.400 boom !
00:27:54.400 y
00:27:58.400 s
00:28:01.400 my