The Golden One - October 07, 2014


Shadow of Mordor Let's Play Part 3


Episode Stats

Length

29 minutes

Words per Minute

89.14428

Word Count

2,645

Sentence Count

482

Misogynist Sentences

21

Hate Speech Sentences

36


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Greetings, you friends. Fuckin' juicy. Let us commence killing some orcs, shall we?
00:00:12.320 Now in the first episode, this was a quick introduction of the game. In the second episode,
00:00:20.720 we hunted down Gollum. We didn't catch him, but that was like a side quest or something.
00:00:29.120 So now we're gonna do the main storyline actually. So if you see the bottom left corner, it is
00:00:44.960 the yellow kind of shield thing that we wanna go to and kill a boss, I think it is.
00:00:55.920 Just gonna slay these blasphemous orcs. Execution now. Boom. Glorious. And that one as well. Boom.
00:01:09.920 Huh? Woah.
00:01:12.720 Um.
00:01:14.720 I can't believe they would kill us for breaking a few tools. The others didn't get away. Please help.
00:01:21.120 Um. Do I need to do that now? Now. Ramsey Snow's voice, for those of you who are unaware.
00:01:28.880 But that'll have to wait, because I want to get into the main storyline. As I was saying,
00:01:32.800 uh, yeah, I've gotten that as constructive criticism that it should be more, um, like a linear storyline.
00:01:40.720 So instead, I shouldn't just be running around killing stuff, but, um, but actually following the,
00:01:48.960 um, the story. I didn't include the, um, the intro to the game, because, you know, you will see that in
00:01:57.120 better quality when you actually get the game, or you can just watch it, you know, some other times.
00:02:03.280 So, um, and I didn't wanna comment through that either, because it was quite a nice intro.
00:02:08.720 So, so you start off here instead. But from now on, uh, I'll try to keep it.
00:02:20.320 Okay, so we activate, uh, missions. The Spirit of Mordor.
00:02:25.760 Sauron's Uruks relentlessly abuse lesser orcs in their violent struggles for power. Investigates how
00:02:32.080 the power of a raid can exploit these struggles. Piercing weak minds to bring down the enemy
00:02:38.320 forces from within. One orc mind, in particular, shines the blatant beacon of weakness. All right, cool.
00:02:46.160 Razor! Come close if you want the backhand.
00:02:51.280 Those slaves, scum! I'll pour a poison in your ear.
00:02:56.160 Oh, but you cut these ropes. Ratbag will tell you everything. Ratbag the sneaky cunt, as it's also known.
00:03:09.040 Go ahead, you bastard! Do it!
00:03:12.240 I die, and you know nothing! Nothing, you hear me?
00:03:16.160 Maybe I'll grant your request. End your misery.
00:03:21.280 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I was just gonna... Look! Those slaves are no match for the orc army.
00:03:28.160 Their schemes are as rotten as barrel fish. Ratbag can teach you the ways of the orc. Ratbag can make up my work.
00:03:36.320 That's the juicy glorious elf who does that.
00:03:55.920 Goroth.
00:03:58.480 Gainintel.
00:03:59.200 Okay, he had a little cool hat there. Nice. It's neat.
00:04:13.840 His pharaoh caragors.
00:04:15.520 If you can expose him to a caragor. Okay, so a caragor is...
00:04:23.920 is what he's wearing.
00:04:26.720 Strength.
00:04:27.920 We cannot shoot him.
00:04:31.840 Heavy attack gang has a group of followers.
00:04:38.400 All right.
00:04:38.880 Let us have him mess up our target then.
00:04:45.600 And see what...
00:04:50.240 Don't release him, then kill him for god's sake.
00:04:52.400 Your problem, Ranger.
00:04:56.320 It's the warchiefs.
00:04:58.560 Perhaps there's a true friendlord.
00:05:00.000 Yes, they are.
00:05:03.120 You know, if something were to happen to them,
00:05:05.680 then they wouldn't be able to stop your little insurrection, would they?
00:05:09.280 You know, I would hunt them down.
00:05:13.200 They're not very popular around here, and I know it.
00:05:18.640 But you can find them.
00:05:19.840 That is actually a true friendlord.
00:05:21.440 Yes.
00:05:22.960 Ratbag's true friend.
00:05:25.680 Henceforth, no offense.
00:05:26.960 Me?
00:05:28.080 I help you.
00:05:32.720 Do not make me regret this deal.
00:05:36.880 Marvellous.
00:05:39.680 Let's stop faffing about it, eh?
00:05:42.160 First, we need to take care of a certain captain.
00:05:45.680 And a few caragors.
00:05:46.960 Come with me, Ranger.
00:05:48.720 All right.
00:05:49.200 Let's follow this, um...
00:05:52.560 Shredded orc bra.
00:05:57.280 You can't trust them.
00:05:59.280 Those slaves are stabbing you in the back.
00:06:02.080 At least an Uruk will stab you in the front.
00:06:04.800 Most likely to throw.
00:06:06.640 So the Uruks are...
00:06:07.920 We have similar goals, Ranger.
00:06:09.120 See, you want to kill the captain?
00:06:10.960 Lord, your sword or Lord.
00:06:12.880 Somebody's got to take his place.
00:06:14.560 Somebody like Ratbag.
00:06:17.760 So this Goroth is in charge?
00:06:19.680 Goroth.
00:06:20.640 Of this captain, yeah.
00:06:22.400 But he's no warchief.
00:06:24.320 They answer directly to the Black Hand.
00:06:27.520 I'll show them all when I'm in the Black Hand's inner circle.
00:06:31.680 Becoming a captain is just the first step of Ratbag's plan to become a warchief.
00:06:36.080 Lord, the name Black Hand.
00:06:38.080 Been prepared to step hard on his neck of chalk.
00:06:43.600 How did you get free, scum?
00:06:45.200 Defenders.
00:06:52.880 They must be hit.
00:06:54.160 Okay, cool.
00:06:54.880 Get her!
00:06:55.520 The Ranger, not me!
00:06:57.520 He's a much easier target!
00:06:59.200 His sword's broken!
00:07:01.040 Leave the Furman alone!
00:07:02.880 And face me, Uruks!
00:07:08.080 There we are!
00:07:08.720 They must not get at the true friend door.
00:07:23.920 Okay, execute now.
00:07:25.840 There you are.
00:07:35.280 We all know that feels wrong.
00:07:38.720 No, execute. Come on.
00:07:43.600 There.
00:07:46.240 Where are you going?
00:07:47.520 You will not escape me.
00:07:48.560 Me!
00:07:49.280 Visualize your goals.
00:07:51.440 Goroth's been out for Ratbag for years.
00:07:54.320 Smug piece of dunga he is.
00:07:57.040 We come to blows as far back as Ratbag can remember.
00:08:00.720 Still, Ratbag never wins.
00:08:03.760 Last time, he kicks Ratbag into the category pick.
00:08:06.560 All the others laugh as the Karagor bats right back around like a yarn ball.
00:08:11.360 We must avenge this blasphemous behavior.
00:08:17.440 Okay, so Goroth gets proper content and it needs to be put to grass.
00:08:24.640 And let me guess, you think I should open those pens.
00:08:28.080 Goroth's always in there. Never leaves, ever.
00:08:31.600 Wonder where he pees.
00:08:33.840 Oh, that explains the smell.
00:08:37.760 Keep out of sight. I'll see that your captain gets demoted.
00:08:41.600 Splendid plan. You kill, I wait.
00:08:45.520 That's military genius, that is.
00:08:48.160 Come Goroth's right up ahead.
00:08:50.080 I'm salivating with anticipation.
00:08:52.560 All right, I'm gonna try to do this a sneaky way.
00:09:03.520 Try not to die.
00:09:05.280 Would be cool.
00:09:06.480 Would be a cool thing not to do.
00:09:09.440 To die.
00:09:10.720 To not die.
00:09:11.440 I thought I heard something.
00:09:19.280 Hmm.
00:09:22.160 Okay, I alerted them.
00:09:26.720 Hello, mates.
00:09:28.240 Perhaps I can actually kill them all.
00:09:34.720 Yeah, let's try that.
00:09:38.160 There we are.
00:09:38.640 In my elf view.
00:09:46.240 Come on, get rid of them now.
00:09:53.840 All right, and one...
00:09:56.880 Okay, without raising the alarm.
00:09:59.200 Stupid of me, I didn't see that actually.
00:10:02.080 I am sorry, your friends, for...
00:10:04.640 um...
00:10:06.960 For this blasphemous damiel.
00:10:13.360 Okay, I'm gonna retry this.
00:10:16.720 And be a bit more of a juicy assassin kind of character.
00:10:24.320 Without raising the alarm.
00:10:26.480 I am.
00:10:28.080 This guy we could kill.
00:10:37.040 Juicy.
00:10:37.680 This assassin's creed action.
00:10:50.640 Would be so amazing to do this.
00:10:54.240 In real life.
00:10:56.640 IRL.
00:10:57.200 Or IRL, as you say it in Sweden.
00:11:03.920 Oh look, it's a kind of beehive sort of thing.
00:11:09.360 Drop to hang.
00:11:10.480 Yes please.
00:11:11.840 Leave behind.
00:11:12.960 Yes.
00:11:15.280 Pull up.
00:11:16.560 Drop.
00:11:16.800 20 feet below.
00:11:23.280 Okay, I'm gonna try to kill that guy.
00:11:30.160 Ah, brilliant.
00:11:35.200 This looks like a good spot to get some shut-eye.
00:11:38.640 Goroth will kill you if he catches your napping.
00:11:41.600 Goroth never comes here.
00:11:43.360 He's always by the hunting camp.
00:11:44.960 Uh-huh.
00:11:46.160 Goroth's in the hunting camp.
00:11:49.360 So much for him, always being in the same place.
00:11:54.160 The captain who fears his own face.
00:11:56.720 Fear is a powerful tool, Talion.
00:11:59.280 Let's put Goroths to work.
00:12:05.760 Search for Goroth in the hunting camp.
00:12:09.680 Okay, I'm still gonna try to be
00:12:11.360 in this.
00:12:19.040 So, take this little path to
00:12:24.000 I have a reputation.
00:12:28.560 We're close.
00:12:30.400 Now, which one of this filth is Goroth?
00:12:32.880 There he is, I mean, not there we are.
00:12:46.560 I am Goroth.
00:12:48.160 Now, Uruk has mastered beast like I.
00:12:51.760 Release a Karagor.
00:12:54.720 When I walk the plains of Mordor, I find Karagors by the sound of them running away from me.
00:13:07.120 Okay.
00:13:09.200 Release a Karagor.
00:13:12.560 Let us, let us take this one, dear true friends.
00:13:15.520 Okay then, hello Karagor.
00:13:24.640 Looking rather disgusting to be honest.
00:13:28.080 No offense.
00:13:30.080 Or perhaps full offense.
00:13:31.360 That was a rather mean thing to say of me.
00:13:34.560 Nice gains though.
00:13:35.360 I am a nightmare, so Goroth.
00:13:43.600 Shoot the cave.
00:13:47.840 Okay.
00:13:49.040 We'll try.
00:13:57.040 No.
00:13:57.360 I want to wreckle three Karagors at once.
00:14:13.680 Okay, that, uh, I don't think that's...
00:14:18.480 Oh, it actually did work, nice.
00:14:22.880 Okay, kill him before he escapes, nice.
00:14:27.920 Don't run from me.
00:14:41.200 Fight me! Fight me!
00:14:43.520 Execute! God damn it.
00:14:51.760 No.
00:14:57.360 He wins. No!
00:15:09.360 Do not fucking crunch for me.
00:15:13.360 Oh, there we are. Fuck yes.
00:15:15.360 Nice. I was a bit...
00:15:19.360 Not nervous, obviously.
00:15:20.360 But it was nice that I actually managed this mission
00:15:23.360 without doubting and
00:15:25.360 Disgracing myself.
00:15:31.360 Such a glorious work.
00:15:33.360 Pre-workout for my...
00:15:37.360 My squat session.
00:15:45.360 I need you to take a body back to my tent.
00:15:47.360 I'm gonna give me a trophy.
00:15:49.360 Get lost, scum!
00:15:51.360 We only take arms.
00:15:55.360 Some fucking juicy orcs right there.
00:16:03.360 How dare they?
00:16:05.360 How dare they treat him in such a way?
00:16:09.360 Oh, shit. Look at that.
00:16:11.360 Be respectful!
00:16:13.360 You Dunghill Worms!
00:16:15.360 Or it'll be your ear next time!
00:16:17.360 Ratbag is your captain now!
00:16:23.360 Let's go take a candle.
00:16:29.360 That was up now, boys.
00:16:31.360 And when you're done with that!
00:16:32.360 That is what's up!
00:16:33.360 I've got more bodies for you to carry!
00:16:35.360 Meet me at the crossroads!
00:16:37.360 An old friend there is about to lose his head!
00:16:41.360 Okay, it's perhaps...
00:16:43.360 I, the old friend.
00:16:45.360 Perhaps he was...
00:16:46.360 It was not a true friend at all.
00:16:47.360 He was...
00:16:49.360 Sneaky kind.
00:16:50.360 Oh, mate.
00:16:51.360 Might that be it.
00:16:54.360 Mission complete!
00:16:55.360 Wonderful.
00:16:56.360 First I'm resurrected by a wraith.
00:16:58.360 Now I'm working with an orc.
00:17:00.360 What could possibly be next?
00:17:02.360 We must use the weapons of our enemy against him.
00:17:05.360 New mission.
00:17:08.360 Okay.
00:17:11.360 Keeping alive.
00:17:13.360 Okay, there's the golem mission as well.
00:17:16.360 I was a bit unsure in the last episode what, you know, the missions were and everything like that.
00:17:21.360 But now...
00:17:23.360 Now I have a better clue.
00:17:25.360 Let's take...
00:17:27.360 Climbing the ranks here then.
00:17:33.360 Cool.
00:17:35.360 Let us...
00:17:36.360 They don't hate me, the golden one, because everyone loves me and admire me greatly.
00:17:50.360 Right, space bar.
00:17:51.360 I have a special ability when I jump over stuff.
00:17:56.360 You can press space bar and then I sprint even faster.
00:18:01.360 And it's quite nice that you don't run out of stamina either.
00:18:04.360 Yeah, you can just run on...
00:18:07.360 Epic cardio.
00:18:10.360 I wish I had that good of a cardio.
00:18:13.360 Oh well.
00:18:14.360 I got gains at least.
00:18:17.360 But...
00:18:23.360 But having some good cardio is never wrong.
00:18:28.360 True story.
00:18:34.360 What?
00:18:35.360 Wait a minute.
00:18:36.360 You call this a duel?
00:18:37.360 No!
00:18:38.360 I call this losing a duel, you clop!
00:18:41.360 Gah!
00:18:47.360 Right here?
00:18:48.360 Is that good?
00:18:49.360 I'll just...
00:18:50.360 Just...
00:18:51.360 Fucking beta.
00:18:58.360 We must rescue him.
00:18:59.360 Hurry.
00:19:00.360 Or he'll lose his head.
00:19:02.360 Hopefully tempting, isn't he?
00:19:04.360 Delph is...
00:19:05.360 Is alpha as fuck.
00:19:06.360 Blind his many eyes and the beast can't see you coming.
00:19:13.360 Stealth kill...
00:19:15.360 Archers...
00:19:18.360 Where...
00:19:19.360 Oh, there.
00:19:20.360 Okay.
00:19:21.360 We got quite a bit of...
00:19:26.360 Time...
00:19:28.360 To be honest.
00:19:30.360 Um...
00:19:31.360 So I'm gonna do this...
00:19:33.360 Slowly and carefully.
00:19:38.360 Blue archer.
00:19:45.360 Cool.
00:19:47.360 Up there is...
00:19:48.360 Another archer.
00:19:49.360 Up there is...
00:19:50.360 Another archer.
00:19:51.360 Damn me!
00:19:52.360 Don't know how...
00:19:54.360 What?
00:19:55.360 There's the right, Jack!
00:19:57.360 Oh, fuck.
00:20:02.360 Um...
00:20:04.360 Don't know if I was, uh...
00:20:07.360 Detected it.
00:20:09.360 Might actually have been detected.
00:20:12.360 Yeah, probably.
00:20:13.360 Can I kill this...
00:20:17.360 This bastard though?
00:20:18.360 Oh, fuck.
00:20:28.360 Let's...
00:20:29.360 Um...
00:20:30.360 Let's try to get him in a way.
00:20:36.360 Fuck.
00:20:38.360 And this...
00:20:39.360 This juicy...
00:20:40.360 That stuff you have to...
00:20:41.360 Um...
00:20:42.360 Hit from behind.
00:20:50.360 So you have to...
00:20:51.360 Spacebar and jump above them to...
00:20:54.360 To get them...
00:20:56.360 Properly.
00:21:02.360 I was weak in him and then interrogate him.
00:21:06.360 No?
00:21:07.360 Execute.
00:21:08.360 Boom.
00:21:09.360 Fuck yeah.
00:21:10.360 Oop.
00:21:12.360 Mmm...
00:21:15.360 Oh, fuck.
00:21:24.360 Right.
00:21:25.360 Execute it.
00:21:26.360 Come on.
00:21:27.360 Yes.
00:21:29.360 Execution.
00:21:30.360 Yes.
00:21:32.360 Oh, fuck.
00:21:35.360 Fuck.
00:21:40.360 No.
00:21:42.360 Okay, I'm gonna retry this...
00:21:44.360 One more time.
00:21:45.360 And, um...
00:21:46.360 See how it...
00:21:47.360 How it goes.
00:21:49.360 Okay, let's...
00:21:51.360 Let's redo this, uh...
00:21:52.360 This thang.
00:21:53.360 Bang.
00:22:03.360 Bonus objective.
00:22:04.360 Okay, um...
00:22:05.360 I'm just gonna go back here, actually.
00:22:08.360 In all actuality, true friends, I will, um...
00:22:13.360 Take this little route to glory.
00:22:16.360 Good.
00:22:20.360 Yeah, I love the...
00:22:21.360 The environment.
00:22:23.360 Proper...
00:22:31.360 Yes.
00:22:33.360 Alright.
00:22:34.360 Nice.
00:22:35.360 So, we're gonna execute Ratbag because they're bald.
00:22:49.360 Yes.
00:22:50.360 Did you hear that?
00:22:51.360 Did you hear that?
00:23:04.360 Yes.
00:23:05.360 Beautifully done, dear reindeer.
00:23:09.360 Um...
00:23:13.360 Where is the fourth archer?
00:23:15.360 Archer.
00:23:16.360 Our warriors deserve more than they get.
00:23:19.360 Okay, it's at the other side there.
00:23:26.360 Alright, down there.
00:23:28.360 How do you reckon the new fobbs?
00:23:35.360 Nice.
00:23:39.360 How glorious.
00:23:40.360 Unlockability.
00:23:42.360 Okay, cool.
00:23:43.360 Um...
00:23:47.360 What's this now?
00:23:49.360 Double hit streak.
00:23:53.360 Yes, please.
00:23:55.360 Gubi, please.
00:23:57.360 That seems like an awfully good idea, to be honest.
00:24:01.360 Does it not, dear true friends?
00:24:08.360 Okay, let's, uh...
00:24:09.360 Well, we should have executed Ratbag sooner.
00:24:13.360 I get burned.
00:24:14.360 MAD SWIME!
00:24:15.360 MAD SWIME!
00:24:16.360 MAD SWIME!
00:24:18.360 He's quite pale, actually.
00:24:22.360 Not as juicy as the pale, though.
00:24:24.360 Which is why I must kill him.
00:24:26.360 I'm not...
00:24:27.360 MAD SWIME!
00:24:38.360 Why can't I block those?
00:24:40.360 Okay, so you shouldn't block...
00:24:43.360 These, these big guys in a regular way.
00:24:45.360 You should just jump over them.
00:24:48.360 And then execute like that.
00:24:49.360 Okay, so I'm gonna try to kill some Polar Dorks and then get the other big, juicy...
00:25:04.360 No, that one. Come on then.
00:25:07.360 I will.
00:25:13.360 There.
00:25:14.360 And I wish I had my...
00:25:20.360 Oh, execution there.
00:25:26.360 He had a sickening physique, though, in his defense.
00:25:33.360 I'll always be fair like that even if he tried to kill me.
00:25:37.360 I recognize that he spent a lot of time in the gym.
00:25:44.360 No, then.
00:25:50.360 Come on.
00:25:51.360 Give me a minute.
00:26:00.360 No, it looks good.
00:26:09.360 No, it's just being aggressive as...
00:26:12.360 What?
00:26:14.360 Executioner alive.
00:26:16.360 Our path lies in his mind.
00:26:21.360 No, let's see what I have to say to me.
00:26:24.360 Okay, the Varchiefs are the most powerful rank in the Uruk forces.
00:26:34.360 Captains aspire to become Varchiefs.
00:26:36.360 Some will murder, assassinate and backstab their way to the top.
00:26:40.360 Others will try to gain favor or protecting by serving Varchiefs as bodyguards.
00:26:45.360 Nice.
00:26:46.360 Nice.
00:26:55.360 Okay.
00:26:56.360 So, uh, some intel on this, uh, finite man right here.
00:26:58.360 Okay, he gets enraged by him.
00:26:59.360 Becomes enraged by his bodyguards.
00:27:00.360 Hmm.
00:27:01.360 All right.
00:27:02.360 Nice.
00:27:03.360 Nice.
00:27:04.360 Oh, we got a little threat in there.
00:27:05.360 Oh, we got a little threat in there.
00:27:06.360 Oh, well, that's what I call teamwork, eh?
00:27:08.360 He he he he he.
00:27:09.360 He he he.
00:27:10.360 He he he.
00:27:11.360 He he.
00:27:12.360 He he he.
00:27:13.360 He he he.
00:27:14.360 He he.
00:27:15.360 He he.
00:27:16.360 He he.
00:27:17.360 He he.
00:27:18.360 He he.
00:27:19.360 He he.
00:27:20.360 He he.
00:27:21.360 He he.
00:27:22.360 He he.
00:27:23.360 Oh, we got a little threat in there.
00:27:24.360 Well, that's what I call teamwork, eh?
00:27:27.360 He he he he.
00:27:28.360 He he he.
00:27:29.360 He he.
00:27:30.360 Go, before I change my mind.
00:27:33.360 Well, what about our deal?
00:27:34.360 Well, what about our deal?
00:27:35.360 Deal is over.
00:27:36.360 Oh, very well then.
00:27:37.360 I just thought that we...
00:27:38.360 Right.
00:27:39.360 I want to be friends still.
00:27:40.360 Hey!
00:27:41.360 Wait!
00:27:42.360 Ranger!
00:27:43.360 Watch this.
00:27:44.360 That's the Warchief.
00:27:45.360 Here's a mark.
00:27:46.360 Victory!
00:27:47.360 He'll make me his personal bodyguard.
00:27:49.360 He he he he.
00:27:50.360 And how does this help me?
00:27:52.360 Uh, I don't know.
00:27:53.360 I don't know.
00:27:54.360 I don't know.
00:27:55.360 I don't know.
00:27:56.360 I don't know.
00:27:57.360 I don't know.
00:27:58.360 I don't know.
00:27:59.360 I don't know.
00:28:00.360 I don't know.
00:28:01.360 I don't know.
00:28:02.360 I don't know.
00:28:03.360 I don't know.
00:28:04.360 How does this help me?
00:28:05.360 Uh, a backstabbing bodyguard?
00:28:09.360 I'll take care of one of the Warchiefs for you.
00:28:12.360 Brilliant.
00:28:13.360 That, um, is highly appreciated.
00:28:17.360 I'll make sure the Warchief is there.
00:28:19.360 You're ready for him.
00:28:21.360 He he he.
00:28:22.360 Glorious.
00:28:23.360 What do you say?
00:28:25.360 Make sure you keep your head away the neck this time.
00:28:28.360 Yeah, I don't.
00:28:29.360 Well, that's my plan.
00:28:30.360 Well.
00:28:35.360 Orcs.
00:28:37.360 Such silly breed, aren't they?
00:28:41.360 Broke the Twin.
00:28:48.360 Ratt bag of cowl.
00:28:49.360 Such a glorious name.
00:28:51.360 Alright, mission...
00:29:01.300 Most glorious gift indeed.
00:29:10.800 And that will have to conclude the third episode and the real storyline episode.
00:29:15.120 So I will continue next time by doing this one, main quest right there.
00:29:24.200 So fourth episode, I will just continue off here and then go on the fucking juices fuck it will be.
00:29:35.140 And there will be my ancient elf of wisdom, XOXO.