The Golden One - August 30, 2014


Skyrim. Horn of the Windcaller


Episode Stats

Length

23 minutes

Words per Minute

74.93188

Word Count

1,760

Sentence Count

368

Misogynist Sentences

10

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Greetings Jürfens.
00:00:07.000 You fucking juicy.
00:00:10.000 Today I'm gonna collect the horn of Jürgen Windcaller.
00:00:16.000 And I've actually learned from the last video to start at a cool point.
00:00:23.000 So you see I'm right outside of the Ostengrav.
00:00:33.000 He's had some coffee.
00:00:37.000 Quite glorious. Caffeine and gaming is a glorious combination.
00:00:44.000 Okay, so we have a battle going on here.
00:00:50.000 I'm gonna bring out the bow and see if I can...
00:01:01.000 I will get more glorious at this as we progress here.
00:01:09.000 Woop, that was a wrong voice actually.
00:01:17.000 Ah, fuck.
00:01:23.000 Okay, I got the comment that I was a terrible gamer.
00:01:27.000 This is not true.
00:01:29.000 As I will demonstrate right now.
00:01:32.000 I'm just gonna change the shout here to Unrelenting Falls.
00:01:37.000 It's not the full version, but we'll get there.
00:01:41.000 Okay, come at me.
00:01:48.000 Boom.
00:01:49.000 There we are.
00:01:51.000 Novice Necromancer.
00:01:53.000 You suck at fighting as you know.
00:01:56.000 Boom.
00:01:58.000 There we are.
00:02:00.000 Sickening.
00:02:02.000 Yeah, now I forgot where I was.
00:02:07.000 Yeah, I started the video outside of this glorious temple here.
00:02:14.000 So that you wouldn't have to see when I run around in the wilderness.
00:02:17.000 So now you can just admire the jawline of peace and my pirate flag here.
00:02:22.000 And that's actually for internet liberty.
00:02:25.000 Because we're all internet guys here.
00:02:27.000 Aren't we?
00:02:30.000 I'm gonna utilize a quick save there.
00:02:33.000 Alright, another...
00:02:34.000 Oh, fuck me.
00:02:42.000 Lucky thing I saved though.
00:02:44.000 Alright, let's try this again.
00:02:49.000 Okay, we're actually not gonna take that Necromancer.
00:02:54.000 Or we might do a backstab here.
00:02:56.000 Okay.
00:03:04.000 Let's see if we have some potions.
00:03:06.000 No, we do not.
00:03:14.000 Okay, I promise until next time I will stop being so fucking bad at this.
00:03:19.000 I'm playing on Master though.
00:03:20.000 So keep that in mind.
00:03:23.000 Okay.
00:03:24.000 Let's change this.
00:03:25.000 Right now.
00:03:35.000 Okay, I'm gonna make a run for it.
00:03:36.000 Bye.
00:03:37.000 I'm doing some cardio here.
00:03:44.000 Like a little cardio won't hurt you.
00:03:48.000 But I can't be running around...
00:03:51.000 You know...
00:03:52.000 Across half of Skyrim.
00:03:53.000 Because then I will lose all my gains and become a CrossFit athlete instead.
00:03:58.000 We wouldn't want that, would we?
00:04:03.000 Oh, look, look, look.
00:04:04.000 This is like when Lurtz kills Boromir.
00:04:07.000 Bam.
00:04:10.000 Yeah.
00:04:14.000 And fear not.
00:04:15.000 I will utilize the Claymore more.
00:04:17.000 And not just run around...
00:04:21.000 With a bow.
00:04:22.000 Oh, there we are.
00:04:23.000 Just gonna save.
00:04:24.000 Because this is a Restless Draugr.
00:04:28.000 Those...
00:04:29.000 Oh.
00:04:34.000 Oh.
00:04:40.000 Okay, run, run, run, run.
00:04:41.000 Fuck.
00:04:49.000 Juicy gums.
00:04:50.000 Hmm.
00:05:03.000 Hmm.
00:05:04.000 Hmm.
00:05:08.000 Hmm.
00:05:15.000 Alright then.
00:05:17.000 Time for some...
00:05:18.000 Strategy.
00:05:19.000 I will actually make a run for it.
00:05:32.000 Hope he can't catch us.
00:05:37.000 Oh, but he will.
00:05:39.000 Fuck.
00:05:41.000 Would have been...
00:05:42.000 Would have been...
00:05:43.000 Actually been nice with some...
00:05:44.000 Some of that CrossFit cardio now.
00:05:47.000 But gains...
00:05:48.000 Is paramount.
00:05:49.000 So...
00:05:57.000 Whoop.
00:05:58.000 Even more Draugr.
00:06:02.000 Oh, fuck.
00:06:03.000 Okay, I actually have to fight that bastard.
00:06:05.000 I will fucking fight him.
00:06:07.000 Death and glory.
00:06:08.000 I will fucking fight him.
00:06:11.000 Death and glory.
00:06:28.000 We're gonna chill out here for just a second.
00:06:30.000 So I can...
00:06:31.000 Recuperate.
00:06:38.000 Oh, and by the way...
00:06:40.000 Feel free to comment below...
00:06:41.000 If you think...
00:06:42.000 I'm doing something wrong...
00:06:44.000 Or right...
00:06:45.000 Or...
00:06:46.000 You know...
00:06:47.000 General advice.
00:06:48.000 Always fun to learn new things.
00:06:50.000 Where in the actual fuck did he go?
00:07:03.000 Okay.
00:07:04.000 Oh, great.
00:07:06.000 Ah, a magic chest.
00:07:10.000 Novice Condor.
00:07:12.000 Destruction...
00:07:14.000 Not really using any magic, though.
00:07:20.000 There we are.
00:07:30.000 Okay.
00:07:31.000 Gonna save.
00:07:32.000 And now I'm gonna...
00:07:33.000 Take this bastard.
00:07:42.000 It's even a girl.
00:07:43.000 You can see that.
00:07:44.000 She has a braw on...
00:07:45.000 Sickening.
00:07:46.000 Sickening.
00:07:51.000 Sick.
00:07:53.000 That felt...
00:07:54.000 Satisfying.
00:07:55.000 And...
00:08:05.000 Yeah.
00:08:07.000 Also, feel free to...
00:08:10.000 Suggest...
00:08:12.000 What...
00:08:13.000 Quests I should do after...
00:08:16.000 This is the main quest right here.
00:08:17.000 So I get the...
00:08:18.000 The full Fusruda...
00:08:22.000 Spell.
00:08:25.000 Oh, it's just a...
00:08:34.000 Regular droger.
00:08:40.000 It's a restless one.
00:08:48.000 Potion of healing.
00:08:55.000 Oh...
00:08:57.000 Was quite fucking close that he got me first there, but...
00:09:00.000 No.
00:09:02.000 The golden one is always first.
00:09:08.000 Until I get owned by a fucking poverty droger.
00:09:12.000 It's not very glorious at all, is it?
00:09:14.000 I will...
00:09:18.000 Redeem...
00:09:20.000 My blasphemous behavior...
00:09:22.000 By doing some...
00:09:24.000 Deadlift and Squatch today.
00:09:35.000 Potion...
00:09:36.000 Yet again.
00:09:37.000 There you go.
00:09:38.000 There you go.
00:09:39.000 And then we make a run for it this time.
00:09:45.000 And a save actually also.
00:09:48.000 Okay, so this is actually quite hard.
00:09:51.000 Um...
00:09:52.000 So you don't think...
00:09:53.000 I'm...
00:09:54.000 I'm just sucking.
00:09:56.000 But as I told...
00:09:57.000 You in last...
00:09:58.000 Episode.
00:10:05.000 That's fucking glorious.
00:10:06.000 I am quite bad at doing two things at the same time.
00:10:10.000 But, as with all things you are bad at, you must train to overcome it.
00:10:15.000 So, um...
00:10:16.000 Um...
00:10:19.000 Okay, here's the classic Iron Helmet of Skyrim.
00:10:21.000 But I actually like this...
00:10:24.000 Romanesque helmet I'm wearing currently.
00:10:28.000 So I'll keep that on until I find something more glorious.
00:10:33.000 Huh.
00:10:35.000 Always appreciated.
00:10:37.000 Potion of the Berserker.
00:10:39.000 Sounds like something for...
00:10:41.000 A juicy cunt like me.
00:10:44.000 Some cash.
00:10:46.000 Always nice.
00:10:51.000 Ah.
00:10:52.000 Some more cash.
00:10:54.000 How brilliant.
00:10:56.000 Into the Ostengrav depths.
00:11:01.000 Fucking glorious.
00:11:08.000 Also, to create some interaction on this channel...
00:11:14.000 I want you to comment below.
00:11:17.000 Your favorite race in Skyrim.
00:11:20.000 And your favorite thing to train.
00:11:22.000 Like your favorite exercise.
00:11:26.000 Do this when I kill...
00:11:28.000 The Draugr here.
00:11:30.000 Boom!
00:11:33.000 There we are.
00:11:35.000 Ah, look at that.
00:11:36.000 We have leveled.
00:11:37.000 We have leveled.
00:11:41.000 So...
00:11:42.000 What should we choose?
00:11:44.000 What should we choose here?
00:11:46.000 Some health perhaps could be cool to have.
00:11:50.000 We can...
00:11:52.000 Nothing of these blasphemous things.
00:11:56.000 Heavy armor.
00:11:57.000 Heavy armor.
00:12:00.000 Indeed.
00:12:01.000 Juggernaut.
00:12:03.000 As in Juggernaut Fitness.
00:12:06.000 Good channel.
00:12:09.000 Good channel for some knowledge gains.
00:12:15.000 Can't really see what that Draugr is.
00:12:18.000 He is needlessly to say a cheeky cunt and must be vanquished.
00:12:27.000 No, I came from there.
00:12:30.000 You can be there if you want to.
00:12:33.000 I'm gonna check the map here.
00:12:34.000 Mm-hmm.
00:12:45.000 Okay, come at me then.
00:12:52.000 And yeah, I'm gonna need some more stamina on my...
00:13:00.000 Okay, so should we actually go in here?
00:13:04.000 This is a bit...
00:13:07.000 Embarrassing.
00:13:08.000 As well.
00:13:09.000 Yet again!
00:13:10.000 Yet again it's embarrassing.
00:13:11.000 Oh!
00:13:26.000 Just...
00:13:27.000 That was a proper execution.
00:13:31.000 Yeah, it's embarrassing because I'm actually lost.
00:13:35.000 Not lost per se, but...
00:13:38.000 Not quite certain where to go.
00:13:42.000 So I assume we're going...
00:13:45.000 In...
00:13:48.000 In here.
00:13:53.000 Here we are.
00:13:54.000 We can open this one.
00:13:58.000 We have a little enchanter's table there.
00:14:02.000 And I bet there'll be a Draugr there.
00:14:04.000 Yes, yes, yes.
00:14:05.000 It was.
00:14:13.000 And another one.
00:14:14.000 Fuckin' juicy.
00:14:23.000 You fucking juicy!
00:14:24.000 Ehm...
00:14:26.000 Alright.
00:14:28.000 This is actually a steel-horned helmet.
00:14:42.000 Now let's see...
00:14:44.000 Apparel.
00:14:46.000 Which one is the best?
00:14:47.000 28...
00:14:48.000 And...
00:14:50.000 28...
00:14:52.000 I'm gonna go with a Romanesque helmet.
00:14:56.000 And I'm not gonna enchant anything now because that's...
00:15:01.000 Not that entertaining to watch, to be honest.
00:15:04.000 So I will kill something instead.
00:15:07.000 For the glory of Talos.
00:15:08.000 Who was once a man, but became a god.
00:15:17.000 Take a ruined book.
00:15:18.000 No thank you.
00:15:20.000 No thanks, Jeff.
00:15:24.000 This is a really fucking juicy place right here.
00:15:29.000 Quick save.
00:15:33.000 And...
00:15:34.000 Let's see if there is anything.
00:15:53.000 Weapon recharge.
00:15:54.000 Well, it doesn't really matter.
00:15:57.000 It does not matter at all.
00:16:01.000 Whoop.
00:16:05.000 These skeletons are actually really easy to kill, to be honest.
00:16:11.000 Unlike those restless droggers.
00:16:14.000 They're a...
00:16:16.000 Bit more of a...
00:16:18.000 Hustle...
00:16:20.000 Kill.
00:16:21.000 Speaking of hustle...
00:16:25.000 I actually thought...
00:16:27.000 Elliot Hulse.
00:16:29.000 He thought his name was Elliot Hustle at first.
00:16:31.000 But then I realized that...
00:16:33.000 That was his real name.
00:16:39.000 Okay, so we've got a skeleton king there.
00:16:41.000 We might actually...
00:16:42.000 Utilize the bow here.
00:16:43.000 Some...
00:16:44.000 Some Legolas action right there.
00:16:57.000 And it's quite appropriate that I do some...
00:17:00.000 Some arrows as well, I think.
00:17:03.000 Since I'm...
00:17:05.000 Elf after all.
00:17:07.000 Right, so we're...
00:17:09.000 Going deeper into the...
00:17:12.000 Into the temple.
00:17:14.000 Or the...
00:17:16.000 The gravesite here.
00:17:18.000 To acquire some further glory.
00:17:23.000 And I've been...
00:17:25.000 Shot quite severely, as you can see.
00:17:27.000 Okay, yeah.
00:17:28.000 I remember this quite vividly.
00:17:30.000 I'm supposed to run...
00:17:32.000 In there later.
00:17:40.000 Potion of...
00:17:42.000 Health.
00:17:44.000 Healing, I mean.
00:17:46.000 And some amino acids right there.
00:17:48.000 That's good.
00:17:49.000 Some amino acids.
00:17:51.000 Um...
00:17:54.000 So, here is the thing.
00:17:56.000 If you're ever in this situation.
00:17:58.000 And if you happen to be dragonborn.
00:18:00.000 It's just a matter of...
00:18:04.000 Performing...
00:18:06.000 Some heat cardio.
00:18:08.000 Like this.
00:18:14.000 Okay, not really like that.
00:18:16.000 Let's try...
00:18:18.000 One more time.
00:18:19.000 For some...
00:18:21.000 Fat burning action.
00:18:22.000 Right here.
00:18:28.000 There we are.
00:18:31.000 I'm gonna...
00:18:32.000 Change back to the...
00:18:34.000 To the Fusru.
00:18:36.000 So I don't get owned by any...
00:18:38.000 Zombies here.
00:18:42.000 Whoop.
00:18:43.000 I'm gonna get owned by myself instead.
00:18:46.000 I'm so silly sometimes.
00:18:47.000 Masterfully done, if I may say so myself.
00:18:48.000 Masterfully done, if I may say so myself.
00:19:15.360 And, as always, I actually may say so myself.
00:19:24.040 Oh, fuck me.
00:19:27.040 I don't know if he has seen me or not.
00:19:35.800 And I'm all out of coffee.
00:19:37.600 Okay, time for some potions.
00:19:43.520 Okay, let's have you.
00:19:52.400 This is actually quite, I was going to say quite scary, and then I died.
00:19:58.720 Let's have this bastard one more time.
00:20:04.200 Okay, so I haven't actually killed the little spiders yet.
00:20:13.080 And this time they have actually...
00:20:17.960 Okay, they're too stupid.
00:20:18.960 They walk on that either way, so...
00:20:21.960 I suppose I am fine either way.
00:20:25.960 Okay, I'm just going to chill here for a moment to catch my breath and to get some life.
00:20:38.840 And while I am waiting, I will talk about how to get fucking big and juicy arms.
00:20:48.720 Now, the best thing to do is just to get big, to perform big heavy lifts.
00:20:57.600 So, you know, heavy weighted chins, and then after that you can do curls and stuff like that.
00:21:04.480 But you grow the most from the biggest exercises.
00:21:09.480 Okay, we have a little safe ground to stand there, but where is the juicy fucking spider?
00:21:24.360 I can't see him for the life of me.
00:21:28.360 Oh, there he is.
00:21:30.360 Alright, let's save her first, and see if we can get in some Legolas action.
00:21:50.240 And yet again, time for some...
00:21:53.240 Okay, so Magicka is actually amino acids, so what is healing? Comment below.
00:22:03.120 Or it can just be the case that Potion of Healing is red amino acids, and blue amino acids are mana.
00:22:14.120 Something like that.
00:22:16.120 Either way, I will slay this foul beast.
00:22:20.120 Look at this, look at this.
00:22:23.120 What the fuck did you say?
00:22:29.680 That felt rather good, to be honest.
00:22:32.640 I'm gonna save so I don't do something silly yet again.
00:22:39.520 Oh, a wooden door.
00:22:42.880 Quite nice indeed.
00:22:53.120 A mysterious note.
00:22:57.680 Alright, we'll take that and we'll do that.
00:23:02.640 Okay, so I will leave it at that for this time.
00:23:11.200 And now I'm gonna hit the gym, do some fucking squats and deadlifts.
00:23:16.160 I will talk to you next time.
00:23:18.720 And who am I?
00:23:20.720 I'm the Dragonborn.
00:23:22.720 Dragonborn.
00:23:23.280 X-XL.
00:23:27.280 Boom!