The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1017 - Jim Norton

00:00:10.000 Boom! 0.99

00:00:11.000 And we're live.

00:00:12.000 Let's have a toast to Hugh Hefner.

00:00:14.000 Yes. 0.98

00:00:15.000 We lost one of the great dick-slingers of the 20th century. 0.98

00:00:18.000 He certainly did. 0.98

00:00:19.000 We lost him. 0.63

00:00:22.000 He literally had a place where guys could go to be letches.

00:00:26.000 Yeah.

00:00:26.000 You could just go and you had a mansion where everybody knew there was going to be a bunch of hoes.

00:00:30.000 And that's why they went.

00:00:31.000 Yeah, they went there on purpose.

00:00:33.000 And there was guys that were notorious for hanging around the mansion, for going to all the mansion parties.

00:00:39.000 Did you ever go?

00:00:40.000 I went twice.

00:00:41.000 I went once for a marijuana policy project thing.

00:00:45.000 I think that was the company that was putting it together.

00:00:49.000 Or I hosted something and there's bands and stuff like that was kind of interesting.

00:00:52.000 That's fun.

00:00:53.000 And then the other time I went was for Fear Factor.

00:00:56.000 We did something for Fear Factor with Playboy Playmates. 0.96

00:00:59.000 Did you get to meet Hugh?

00:01:00.000 I never met him, man.

00:01:02.000 No, I never met him.

00:01:03.000 He's just, I think by that time, he's old and I think he just wanted to chill.

00:01:09.000 Yeah, he was just kind of done.

00:01:10.000 I never went there.

00:01:11.000 I tried to get in.

00:01:12.000 A girl tried to get me in, and I guess they Googled me, and she goes, I guess I didn't have enough credits.

00:01:16.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:01:17.000 That's what it was.

00:01:18.000 I couldn't get in.

00:01:18.000 Really?

00:01:18.000 She's like, yeah, they have to look you up.

00:01:20.000 She was nice, but they said no.

00:01:22.000 How long ago was this?

00:01:23.000 Probably two years ago.

00:01:24.000 Oh, my God.

00:01:25.000 I know. 1.00

00:01:26.000 I didn't qualify to go where there's fucking girls and fucking... 1.00

00:01:30.000 That's humiliating. 1.00

00:01:32.000 That is so crazy you didn't have enough credits. 0.97

00:01:34.000 Guess so or maybe they didn't have the right credits or maybe they just didn't care like whatever you know, I didn't know I wasn't even that mad about yeah, whatever Credits yeah, how gross yeah, she said something like that But she was trying to be really nice like she was trying to let me down easy because she felt bad because we were friends And she wanted to go like you just don't qualify to come here and look at these tits Which is really her It was a weird place because it was super outdated. 1.00

00:01:58.000 Like you heard about the grotto.

00:02:00.000 You go to the grotto and it has a phone from like the 1970s there and you're like, what is this?

00:02:05.000 They left it like probably for the vibe, the old school vibe.

00:02:08.000 I guess.

00:02:08.000 Or they just never updated it.

00:02:10.000 It was weird.

00:02:11.000 You know, he sold the place or it was for sale.

00:02:15.000 But one of the caveats of purchase was that he had to live in the building until he died.

00:02:21.000 Yeah.

00:02:22.000 Yep.

00:02:22.000 But it was like some preposterous amount of money, like 200 million dollars or something crazy.

00:02:28.000 Well, the land is really valuable.

00:02:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:02:29.000 So what do they do with that now?

00:02:30.000 Do they knock it down?

00:02:32.000 I mean, is there no nostalgia to it? 0.99

00:02:33.000 Is it like kind of dying on the vine anyway, or do you fucking... 0.98

00:02:36.000 What do you do? 0.99

00:02:37.000 It's a good question.

00:02:37.000 Well, he has a son, and his son probably inherited it.

00:02:40.000 His son, I think, was running the magazine.

00:02:43.000 They tried for a while to have no nudity.

00:02:45.000 Oh, yeah.

00:02:46.000 Terrible idea. 0.99

00:02:47.000 It's like a mechanic fucking thing with no cars in it. 1.00

00:02:51.000 Who wants to just read that shit? 1.00

00:02:53.000 It's stupid. 1.00

00:02:53.000 It's like having a New York Times article with all ads. 1.00

00:02:57.000 Like, where's the fucking intellectual stimulation here, you fucking idiots? 1.00

00:03:01.000 Yeah, that's a really bad, no nudity is a terrible decision. 1.00

00:03:06.000 Yeah.

00:03:15.000 Yeah.

00:03:26.000 Yeah.

00:03:27.000 Well, even their social commentary was great.

00:03:29.000 I remember when I was a kid, there was one...

00:03:30.000 Who was the feminist Gloria... 1.00

00:03:33.000 Allred?

00:03:34.000 No, not Gloria Allred.

00:03:34.000 Oh, my God.

00:03:35.000 Steinem.

00:03:35.000 And I think it was a Gloria Steinem parody.

00:03:37.000 But it was like, you know, her licking a girl's pussy that had period blood. 1.00

00:03:40.000 It was like some fucking vile... 1.00

00:03:45.000 He would do the most vile political... 1.00

00:03:47.000 Like, he really showed his disdain of those people.

00:03:49.000 He was great. 1.00

00:03:50.000 He's a crazy guy. 1.00

00:03:52.000 He's still alive, that fucker. 1.00

00:03:53.000 Yeah, he is. 1.00

00:03:54.000 Got shot, you know, and paralyzed, like, way back in the day, right?

00:03:58.000 Yeah.

00:03:58.000 77, maybe?

00:04:00.000 Was it that late?

00:04:00.000 I think it was.

00:04:01.000 Or 76, yeah.

00:04:02.000 Yeah, he's still got a bunch of casinos and stuff.

00:04:05.000 He's still out there kicking it.

00:04:06.000 But, like, who the hell is buying Hustler?

00:04:09.000 Yeah.

00:04:09.000 Well, it's funny you mention it.

00:04:11.000 My manager got one today.

00:04:13.000 I haven't bought one in many years.

00:04:14.000 I did an interview for them, and it was actually a really good interview, and they quoted me accurately.

00:04:19.000 So I'm in December's Hustler, which is out today.

00:04:21.000 Wow.

00:04:22.000 So it's funny.

00:04:22.000 I bought the Hustler for the first time probably in 15 years today.

00:04:25.000 Why do magazines do that, where December comes out in September?

00:04:29.000 Don't know. 1.00

00:04:29.000 That's so fucking stupid. 1.00

00:04:30.000 It's like new cars. 1.00

00:04:31.000 It's a 2018. Well, how the fuck is that even possible since it's 2017, you monkeys? 0.99

00:04:37.000 It's got to be something about the anticipation of getting... 0.99

00:04:39.000 It's almost like when a Halloween movie doesn't come out October 30th, because you're sick of Halloween by then, so it comes out, like, you know, say September 15th, and then by the time Halloween comes, the movie's finished, you're like, ugh, fuck Halloween. 0.94

00:04:50.000 No, but that makes sense, because they're not pretending it's Halloween. 0.96

00:04:53.000 It's just a Halloween movie.

00:04:55.000 Like, they're pretending that's a December issue.

00:04:57.000 But it's not December.

00:04:58.000 But it's not.

00:04:59.000 Yeah, I don't know the thinking.

00:05:00.000 They come out like way in advance. 0.94

00:05:01.000 Usually a month of before, but December, it is kind of silly.

00:05:04.000 The new car thing is always weird because it's way ahead.

00:05:07.000 Yeah, six months.

00:05:07.000 Yeah, like six months before the year turns over.

00:05:13.000 They're already saying that it's a 2018 model.

00:05:16.000 Yeah, it's like it's April.

00:05:17.000 What are you talking about?

00:05:18.000 It's not the 2018 model.

00:05:19.000 Yeah.

00:05:20.000 It's like tricks, you know? 1.00

00:05:22.000 It's like when you buy something and it costs $9.99, make it $10, you fuck. 1.00

00:05:26.000 What is this? 1.00

00:05:27.000 What is this penny stuff?

00:05:28.000 They want to say under $10?

00:05:30.000 Yeah.

00:05:30.000 I don't understand if it just looks better with the $99 than the $10.

00:05:34.000 I don't get it either. 0.99

00:05:35.000 It does for dumb people. 1.00

00:05:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:05:37.000 That's what it is. 1.00

00:05:38.000 It's like you're appealing to people's mind.

00:05:40.000 Like that little part of their mind is trying to save a little.

00:05:43.000 I guess that's better.

00:05:45.000 $9.99 is better.

00:05:47.000 Sounds better.

00:05:48.000 I don't know.

00:05:49.000 I mean, comedians have addressed the gas thing for years.

00:05:52.000 There's a book about this.

00:05:53.000 It's called Predictably Irrational, The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions.

00:05:57.000 It came out about 10 years ago, maybe.

00:06:00.000 Interesting.

00:06:00.000 So it's playing on the irrational thoughts that we have about certain things.

00:06:05.000 Yeah, there's specific anecdotes about a Best Buy ad and why there's three washing machines and they're really trying to get you to buy the middle one, but they have two other priced ones.

00:06:14.000 It goes into things just like that all over different aspects of life.

00:06:18.000 You know what my favorite ones are?

00:06:19.000 When you're in Vegas and you see voted best buffet.

00:06:22.000 Oh my god.

00:06:23.000 Best 10 p.m.

00:06:24.000 show.

00:06:25.000 Like, by who?

00:06:25.000 Who voted for best buffet?

00:06:27.000 And if they did vote on it, why?

00:06:30.000 Who are they?

00:06:31.000 Do they have to leave the house?

00:06:32.000 Like, where are you going? 1.00

00:06:33.000 The fucking buffet vote is in 20 minutes. 1.00

00:06:35.000 We're going to miss the buffet vote. 1.00

00:06:36.000 Yeah.

00:06:37.000 Who cares?

00:06:37.000 But there is good buffets and bad buffets, right?

00:06:40.000 Like, where's a good buffet in Vegas?

00:06:42.000 Do you ever go to the buffets? 0.97

00:06:42.000 I fucking love a good buffet, if you want the truth. 0.97

00:06:45.000 A good buffet is great. 0.99

00:06:45.000 It rules. 0.99

00:06:46.000 It's very nice.

00:06:47.000 The Wynn Hotel in Vegas has a tremendous buffet.

00:06:50.000 Well, the Wynn Hotel's tremendous, period, right?

00:06:52.000 I've walked through it, but I've never stayed there.

00:06:54.000 It's a phenomenal hotel.

00:06:55.000 It is. 0.99

00:06:55.000 It's like a very high-end place, so it makes sense that their buffet would kick ass. 0.99

00:06:59.000 In here in LA, they have a good one at the Four Seasons on Sundays as a delightful buffet.

00:07:07.000 Oh, I've done the Four Seasons in Maui, and they have a breakfast buffet.

00:07:12.000 Oh, what a great way to get fat.

00:07:14.000 It is, right?

00:07:15.000 Oh, it's tremendous.

00:07:16.000 They make you waffles.

00:07:17.000 They have the waffle thing right there.

00:07:19.000 Something about someone making you a waffle.

00:07:22.000 When they pour the waffle stuff into that little press and put it down, you're like, oh, I'm gonna have a waffle.

00:07:27.000 I'm just thinking right now about melting the butter on it.

00:07:30.000 You know what I did last time? 1.00

00:07:33.000 I put peanut butter all over that motherfucker. 1.00

00:07:35.000 And then I put butter. 1.00

00:07:37.000 And then I put syrup.

00:07:39.000 Yeah.

00:07:39.000 I felt great for about 15 minutes.

00:07:42.000 And then afterwards, I just went like this.

00:07:43.000 Ugh.

00:07:44.000 But even you feel bad after that? 1.00

00:07:45.000 Fucking terrible. 0.99

00:07:46.000 Wow, like as much as you work out, like I'm surprised like you don't, because you burn through everything you eat. 0.99

00:07:51.000 Yeah, but you know what it is, man?

00:07:52.000 It has nothing to do with that.

00:07:53.000 It's an insulin dump. 0.98

00:07:54.000 Your body just hits, all that sugar hits your system and your body's like, what the fuck is this? 0.94

00:08:00.000 And it's actually probably worse for me because I don't do it very often. 0.98

00:08:05.000 Like if your body gets used to sugar, if you're drinking sugary sodas all day and you're eating White bread all day, and if your body gets used to processing that stuff, it has a better handle on what to do with it.

00:08:16.000 Whereas with me, it only gets it every few days. 0.99

00:08:19.000 So when it gets it, it's like, what the fuck is this? 0.99

00:08:21.000 Especially if I overload, get crazy, eat a banana split or something like that. 0.99

00:08:26.000 You feel it.

00:08:27.000 Oh yeah.

00:08:28.000 I feel it hard.

00:08:29.000 I'm bad in LA, though, with food. 0.66

00:08:30.000 Like, I fucking go out for sushi, and that yogurt stop on Santa Monica, it's my favorite place in the world. 0.58

00:08:36.000 Is it Menchies? 1.00

00:08:37.000 No, it's called The Yogurt Stop.

00:08:38.000 Oh, okay.

00:08:39.000 It's on Santa Monica, and I've been there four days.

00:08:42.000 I've been in LA for four days.

00:08:43.000 I've been there four times. 1.00

00:08:44.000 I can't stop shoveling that shit in. 1.00

00:08:46.000 It's my favorite fucking place. 1.00

00:08:48.000 Why is it so good? 1.00

00:08:48.000 I don't know, man. 1.00

00:08:50.000 I've had yogurt that was just as good.

00:08:51.000 It just, I always felt right to go out for the best sushi and then go down there and have some yogurt stop.

00:08:57.000 Treat yourself a little, Jimmy.

00:08:58.000 You're doing good with your life. 1.00

00:08:59.000 Well, you know, I was having a sad day Monday and literally like a fucking fat girl. 0.98

00:09:04.000 I got my ex-girlfriend, who's my best friend, and we went and got yogurt. 0.98

00:09:07.000 I'm like, I'm really sad.

00:09:09.000 I treated myself to a little yogurt.

00:09:11.000 Why were you sad?

00:09:11.000 I just go up and down.

00:09:12.000 I'm just relationship nonsense.

00:09:14.000 I'm a fatalist.

00:09:15.000 But you're doing great.

00:09:16.000 I'm doing okay. 1.00

00:09:17.000 Do you know how many people would fucking kill to be in your position? 0.99

00:09:20.000 Successful touring, stand-up comedian, successful podcaster, successful radio personality, loved by all. 0.99

00:09:27.000 Chip is a great podcaster.

00:09:28.000 That's who the successful podcast in the Norton Empire is. 0.99

00:09:31.000 No, the fucking thing that you do with Matt Serra. 0.98

00:09:33.000 Matt Serra does well. 0.98

00:09:33.000 You guys have the best MMA podcast in the world. 0.98

00:09:36.000 Thank you.

00:09:36.000 We have a lot of fun with that, man.

00:09:38.000 Thank you.

00:09:38.000 You do.

00:09:38.000 It's great.

00:09:39.000 I love Matt.

00:09:40.000 He's great.

00:09:41.000 I love him, too.

00:09:42.000 But it's one of those things where I know that, and I know that it's a fun gig, and I love doing it, but it's one of those things that's not about feeling like I haven't been blessed.

00:09:50.000 Show business gives me opportunities.

00:09:52.000 I've failed, but I'm not some unlucky guy who, oh gee, they didn't give me a shot.

00:09:55.000 They give me a million shots.

00:09:57.000 It's about being annoyed at yourself for certain things.

00:09:59.000 So it's not about, I get a good apartment, I make money.

00:10:02.000 I am very lucky.

00:10:03.000 But it's rational. 1.00

00:10:05.000 Like when you're feeling down, you're like, ugh, I'm shit. 0.97

00:10:07.000 So it's not a rational thing. 0.99

00:10:08.000 No.

00:10:08.000 And you can't turn it around with your mind?

00:10:12.000 No.

00:10:12.000 I'm too emotional.

00:10:13.000 Like I react too emotionally.

00:10:15.000 But the next day, like I've had a great week since then. 0.98

00:10:17.000 You know, because she and I talked and I realized I'm just being kind of fucking crazy. 1.00

00:10:20.000 Oh, you're having girlfriends shit? 0.99

00:10:21.000 Yeah, but I'm also not cheating. 1.00

00:10:23.000 I don't know how to not cheat.

00:10:24.000 So I'm not acting out. 0.99

00:10:25.000 It's fucking crazy, man. 0.98

00:10:27.000 Oh, so maybe part of your weirdness is like dealing with the fact that you're not expressing your normal behavior patterns? 0.99

00:10:33.000 Yeah, it's giving up a huge addiction. 0.99

00:10:36.000 I still look at porn and stuff, but not acting out, not having fucking girls. 1.00

00:10:40.000 LA's a deadly city for me. 1.00

00:10:41.000 Deadly. 1.00

00:10:44.000 Deadly pussy. 1.00

00:10:45.000 Well, sometimes. 1.00

00:10:47.000 You know, when I'm out here, I'm a very fresh boy.

00:10:50.000 Very naughty.

00:10:54.000 I behave better now.

00:10:55.000 There's a whole ecosystem around that here, you know?

00:10:59.000 There really is, man.

00:11:00.000 A lot of gals that are loose with the sex, and they've decided to profit off of that. 1.00

00:11:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:11:06.000 And they say, well, just have sex with some men and not have to work a job. 0.99

00:11:09.000 And some of them are literally just people I've known for a lot, like they're like people you meet through the business. 0.92

00:11:14.000 Right.

00:11:15.000 And they're just as dangerous because, and I mean for me, because they'll do anything.

00:11:19.000 Right.

00:11:19.000 Because they like the fact that I'm open, so they're like, oh my god, guys think I'm crazy.

00:11:23.000 Right.

00:11:24.000 So it's hard just not to be unfaithful. 1.00

00:11:26.000 It's hard to not be fucking... 0.99

00:11:27.000 And this is how mean fans are. 0.99

00:11:29.000 I've been talking about this for a week, so I've been up and down, I've been sad, then I'm great.

00:11:33.000 And I'm just, you know, I don't have a girlfriend in six years.

00:11:35.000 And I'm talking about it, and then one fan's like, oh, we get it, you got a girlfriend, you're 49, you're being normal. 1.00

00:11:41.000 It's like, Jesus, you fucking rotten toad. 0.99

00:11:43.000 Can I talk about my life being healthy for one week before fans get sick of it? 1.00

00:11:48.000 Well, you're always gonna get one person who complains about everything.

00:11:51.000 Yeah.

00:11:51.000 That can't really bother you.

00:11:53.000 No, it's just like, ugh.

00:11:54.000 Yeah, you're gonna get that.

00:11:55.000 I mean, and he's got a point, too.

00:11:57.000 It's probably annoying to him, which is why he said it, but...

00:11:59.000 Or she.

00:12:00.000 Or she.

00:12:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:12:01.000 Well, shut her mouth. 1.00

00:12:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:12:03.000 The fuck do you know, bitch? 1.00

00:12:04.000 I gave her a second. 1.00

00:12:05.000 I gave...

00:12:07.000 I gave her a sarcastic apology.

00:12:09.000 I was like, sorry, I didn't mean to share something good.

00:12:11.000 I'll only keep it negative.

00:12:12.000 And she actually went back, it's all good.

00:12:13.000 She believed the apology.

00:12:15.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

00:12:15.000 Well, there's a fake feud going on between me and Ari and Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura.

00:12:20.000 And people, for whatever reason, think it's real.

00:12:23.000 And so they're getting mad that I'm airing out our dirty laundry in public.

00:12:27.000 I couldn't be more obvious about how fake it is.

00:12:30.000 I even wrote GOOD DAY SIR at the end of my letter with all caps.

00:12:35.000 I mean, it's just, this is like the new thing, pray for Joe.

00:12:38.000 This is what it is. 1.00

00:12:39.000 Bert Kreischer, our good friend Bert, is a fucking raging alcoholic. 1.00

00:12:42.000 He certainly is. 1.00

00:12:43.000 He drinks six doubles a night.

00:12:45.000 Yeah.

00:12:45.000 He's drinking 12 drinks a night.

00:12:47.000 And I go, are you serious?

00:12:48.000 He goes, every night.

00:12:49.000 I go, wow, that is crazy.

00:12:50.000 I can't even imagine doing that.

00:12:52.000 Like, that's incredible.

00:12:53.000 So we said, do you think you can get sober?

00:12:55.000 He said, yes.

00:12:56.000 Okay, so then someone said, sober and run a marathon.

00:12:58.000 I was like, stop. 0.66

00:12:59.000 You guys, he's gonna die. 0.60

00:13:00.000 Yeah.

00:13:01.000 Because first of all, Bert likes to pretend he runs, but he really only runs on a treadmill.

00:13:05.000 And I'm like, that is not running.

00:13:06.000 You're lifting your legs up and the thing's coming towards you.

00:13:09.000 It's not the same.

00:13:09.000 It's different.

00:13:10.000 So now he started running on the real road, and he's like barely getting in a couple miles, and he takes a lot of breaks. 0.91

00:13:15.000 He's not running any fucking marathons anytime soon, and I'm certainly not saying that he could do one after a month. 0.90

00:13:20.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:13:20.000 Right? 0.98

00:13:21.000 So we said, okay, how about no drinking for the entire month of October, and you got to do 15 hot yoga classes in a month, which is fucking hardcore. 0.95

00:13:32.000 It is. 0.94

00:13:32.000 That's hardcore. 0.94

00:13:33.000 I've done it, I love hot yoga, but it really does wear, it really wipes you out.

00:13:37.000 It wipes you out, especially if you're not used to it and you don't drink enough water.

00:13:40.000 You've got to really be on the ball.

00:13:41.000 So everybody agreed to that. 0.97

00:13:42.000 And then a couple of fucking days ago, they started saying, we're going to be totally sober, no weed, no alcohol. 0.98

00:13:48.000 I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1.00

00:13:49.000 First of all, you fucks, I'm only doing this to try to see if we can get burnt sober. 1.00

00:13:54.000 I don't need to not drink. 1.00

00:13:56.000 I can not drink for months.

00:13:58.000 It doesn't bother me.

00:13:58.000 Like, me taking a month off of booze doesn't bother me at all.

00:14:01.000 But me taking a month off of weed is like, how do you expect me to write?

00:14:06.000 I use it to write.

00:14:08.000 I use it to think about things.

00:14:10.000 I use it to enjoy things.

00:14:11.000 I use it as a, like a sacrament, almost.

00:14:15.000 Do you ever think of trying a month without, like, knowing you're gonna go back to it, and that you're not doing it forever.

00:14:19.000 I do think of it, but I don't want to be bullied by a welcher. 1.00

00:14:22.000 Yeah, no, I don't believe it.

00:14:23.000 See, Ari Shafir was supposed to, see, Bert and Tom had a fucking contest, and if they lost 25 pounds, Ari was supposed to take them on a trip to wherever they chose, and Tom wanted to go to Europe to watch a soccer game, and Bert wanted to go to watch some crazy football game, and Ari completely welched on the bet, 1.00

00:14:39.000 and then took off and went to Asia for four months, and left me holding the bat. 0.93

00:14:44.000 Not only did he take off, he took off and went off the grid.

00:14:47.000 And don't think the two aren't related, Shafir. 1.00

00:14:49.000 I know what the fuck you're up to. 1.00

00:14:50.000 You didn't feel any responsibility to pay that bet, you son of a bitch. 1.00

00:14:54.000 Anyway, I wound up getting them, what did I get them? 1.00

00:14:56.000 Tickets to some basketball game that was important?

00:14:59.000 It was a big game, right?

00:15:00.000 So it was a big deal.

00:15:02.000 Flew them out first class, the whole deal.

00:15:03.000 Put them up in a nice hotel.

00:15:05.000 Paid for everything.

00:15:06.000 So I paid for it.

00:15:07.000 And because they did actually lose the weight.

00:15:09.000 Sure.

00:15:09.000 And so they're like, we've got to come up with a new test.

00:15:12.000 And somehow or another, I got involved and Ari got involved too.

00:15:15.000 And they're trying to shame me into quitting pot.

00:15:17.000 It's like, I stop smoking pot all the time.

00:15:20.000 When I go on vacation, I don't smoke pot for a week at a time.

00:15:23.000 When I go...

00:15:25.000 Anywhere where, you know, if I'm in Europe for 10 days, I'm not smoking weed.

00:15:29.000 It's not an addictive issue, but it's something that I enjoy.

00:15:33.000 I could stop doing things that I enjoy.

00:15:36.000 This sounds like an addict saying this.

00:15:37.000 I don't have a problem with it, but I really don't have a problem with it.

00:15:40.000 I like it.

00:15:41.000 I like pot.

00:15:42.000 I'm not willing to not do it for an alcoholic friend and a welcher. 1.00

00:15:47.000 And then Tom Shiguro, who's dressing up like a medicine man lately, like what the fuck is he doing? 0.99

00:15:51.000 He's wearing some crazy Steven Seagal outfit. 0.99

00:15:55.000 He's got wooden beads on and shit, and some crazy hat. 0.98

00:15:57.000 Are they loose-fitting clothes? 0.99

00:15:59.000 What he's wearing?

00:16:00.000 Yeah.

00:16:00.000 Is he putting weight back on?

00:16:01.000 No.

00:16:02.000 Oh, okay, good.

00:16:03.000 No, he's in tremendous shape.

00:16:04.000 Oh, good for Tom.

00:16:04.000 Tom lost the weight and kept the weight off, because Tom is like really disciplined, you know, which is why he just did another Netflix special.

00:16:11.000 In like three and a half, four years, he's done three Netflix specials.

00:16:14.000 Oh my god.

00:16:15.000 Yeah.

00:16:16.000 He's an animal.

00:16:17.000 There he is.

00:16:18.000 Look at his hat. 1.00

00:16:19.000 His fucking hat. 1.00

00:16:20.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:16:21.000 Wow.

00:16:21.000 Nice beard, too.

00:16:22.000 Good frosting in the beard.

00:16:23.000 Nice and trim.

00:16:23.000 He looks good.

00:16:24.000 I love it. 0.99

00:16:24.000 But he's fucking healthy. 0.99

00:16:26.000 Look how thin his face is. 0.99

00:16:27.000 But look at the picture above that.

00:16:29.000 Look at above that.

00:16:29.000 That one.

00:16:30.000 See that? 1.00

00:16:31.000 Look at his fucking outfit. 1.00

00:16:32.000 Wow. 1.00

00:16:33.000 Oh my God.

00:16:34.000 Look at all the beads. 1.00

00:16:36.000 The feathers and shit. 0.99

00:16:37.000 Who does he look like? 0.99

00:16:38.000 Who does that outfit look like? 1.00

00:16:39.000 I've seen that before.

00:16:40.000 It's photoshopped, I'm sure.

00:16:41.000 No, no, but I mean, what is that outfit from?

00:16:43.000 Who dresses like that? 0.99

00:16:44.000 It's like Seagal.

00:16:45.000 It looks like Steven Seagal to me.

00:16:47.000 The smoke in the back?

00:16:48.000 It could be like some Buddhist monk or something like that. 1.00

00:16:51.000 But these motherfuckers are trying to shame me to quitting weed. 1.00

00:16:56.000 It's not happening, boys. 1.00

00:16:57.000 In fact, I'm going to get high every day in October. 0.98

00:17:01.000 You haven't thought of trying it just for a month to see how, if it gets weird for you, you might get some really good shit out of it. 0.99

00:17:06.000 I could. 0.97

00:17:07.000 Yeah, I mean, I would, but maybe another month.

00:17:09.000 Maybe I'll do it in November.

00:17:09.000 November.

00:17:10.000 But this month, they can suck my dick. 1.00

00:17:12.000 I'm going to get high every day. 1.00

00:17:13.000 You won't be shamed into it.

00:17:14.000 You'll do it when you want to do it.

00:17:15.000 I'll do it if I want to do it.

00:17:17.000 Yeah.

00:17:17.000 And if I really had an issue, if I'm like, man, I can't get a day without...

00:17:21.000 If I fell here, I was reaching for it to do things.

00:17:24.000 Like, I haven't smoked pot today.

00:17:26.000 Today I went running, about to do a podcast.

00:17:28.000 I like to smoke a little weed before a podcast, but nothing today.

00:17:31.000 Nothing.

00:17:31.000 Zero.

00:17:32.000 No issues.

00:17:33.000 Yeah, I think it would affect me differently.

00:17:35.000 I've used you as a good example of a guy.

00:17:36.000 Like, you function well.

00:17:38.000 Like, you smoke pot and you do jiu-jitsu.

00:17:40.000 Like, I didn't do that.

00:17:41.000 Well, a lot of people that do jiu-jitsu smoke pot.

00:17:43.000 It's huge in the jiu-jitsu community.

00:17:45.000 You would think...

00:17:46.000 Like, a lot of people have a misconception in jiu-jitsu where they think of it as being a bunch of, like, really aggressive, mean guys that are, like, attacking each other.

00:17:54.000 But it's more, much more a bunch of, like, really smart...

00:17:59.000 Analytical, stoner, sensitive, nerd-type characters who are also very strong because they do jiu-jitsu all the time.

00:18:06.000 Or if they lift weights and get in really good shape, a lot of those guys, it's because of jiu-jitsu.

00:18:10.000 And then, of course, there's people that come to it from football or wrestling or something like that.

00:18:14.000 They have a different attitude.

00:18:15.000 But a lot of times, they fall into a jiu-jitsu mindset, which is a very relaxed, friendly mindset.

00:18:21.000 Jiu-jitsu people are super friendly.

00:18:23.000 Very affectionate, too.

00:18:24.000 All the guys I've noticed a lot of combat athletes are like that, but there's a gentleness to it.

00:18:33.000 Bernard Hopkins I've talked to a lot.

00:18:35.000 He sits right next to you, and literally he invades your space. 0.93

00:18:38.000 But it doesn't feel menacing or fucking weird.

00:18:40.000 It feels almost like he's just an affectionate, gentle guy.

00:18:43.000 You know how you get energy from people?

00:18:46.000 It just doesn't feel uncomfortable.

00:18:47.000 Well, you know what?

00:18:48.000 A guy like Bernard, he's so confident in himself.

00:18:50.000 He doesn't exude any insecurities or weirdness.

00:18:53.000 I mean, he's an all-time great.

00:18:54.000 Period.

00:18:55.000 There's not a single human being that knows boxing that would argue that Bernard Hopkins isn't an all-time great.

00:19:01.000 I remember when he fought Tito Trinidad.

00:19:03.000 Did you ever see that fight?

00:19:03.000 No.

00:19:04.000 He fought Felix Trinidad, and I believe he was 36 at the time, and Trinidad was in his prime, and everybody really thought that Trinidad was going to run him over. 0.99

00:19:12.000 And he beat the fucking shit out of Trinidad. 0.99

00:19:14.000 And it was a weird, controversial fight, because he was in Puerto Rico, and he took the Puerto Rican flag and threw it on the ground, and everybody went crazy and wanted to kill him. 0.99

00:19:22.000 Yeah, he wanted to get inside Trinidad's head and get him to try to brawl with him.

00:19:26.000 And he did?

00:19:27.000 Bernard picked him apart.

00:19:28.000 Wow. 1.00

00:19:29.000 He picked him apart and fucked him up. 0.99

00:19:30.000 And then years later, when people wrote him off again, he fought Kelly Pavlik. 0.98

00:19:34.000 And this is after Kelly Pavlik had knocked out Jermaine Stewart.

00:19:37.000 And he was thought to be like, the guy. 0.79

00:19:40.000 You know, and everybody was like, Kelly Pavlik's gonna fuck up Bernard Hopkins. 0.99

00:19:43.000 And Bernard Hopkins beat the shit out of him, too. 0.97

00:19:46.000 Who finally knocked him?

00:19:47.000 What was his last fight?

00:19:48.000 Joe Smith.

00:19:49.000 He was 51. I'm pretty sure.

00:19:53.000 He was either 50 or 51. He wanted to be 50. I think he had fought 49 fights.

00:19:58.000 No, no.

00:19:59.000 He wanted to fight when he was 50. He wanted to fight Mayweather for his 50th fight.

00:20:04.000 I remember him talking about that right before he turned 50. Really?

00:20:07.000 Mayweather would never fight him.

00:20:08.000 He's so much bigger.

00:20:09.000 Yeah, I guess he was talking about cutting weight, or maybe he was just saying that, but he talked about fighting Floyd.

00:20:13.000 Maybe Floyd coming up and him going down. 1.00

00:20:15.000 Boy, if I was Floyd, I'd say, fuck that. 0.99

00:20:18.000 Well, Floyd probably did, because he never fought him. 1.00

00:20:20.000 But I think that he was talking about that when he was 49. Yeah, because Floyd is a tiny man.

00:20:25.000 Yeah.

00:20:25.000 I mean, Floyd is a natural 147-pound fighter.

00:20:28.000 Like, when he weighed in for the fight with Conor, he weighed 149. And Bernard was fighting 175. It's just so much larger.

00:20:36.000 Yeah, maybe he was talking about coming down.

00:20:38.000 I don't remember the conversation, but obviously they would have had to have a catchweight. 0.90

00:20:42.000 He fought this guy, Joe Smith Jr., who's a young guy who's a murderous puncher, and he just got fucked up and knocked through the ropes, and he fell on his head. 0.96

00:20:50.000 It was horrible. 0.95

00:20:51.000 Yeah, but he had such a great...

00:20:53.000 He was bound to get...

00:20:54.000 He had to go down sooner or later.

00:20:56.000 But yeah, just a nice dude.

00:20:59.000 And I love guys like that who don't try to give off...

00:21:02.000 Just that shitty energy and I don't think I've ever gotten that energy off of fighters Well, you won't get it off the successful ones because to get successful you want to have as few Things that are in your way that are cumbersome as possible few ego issues and as few Distorted perceptions of reality as possible in order to weave your way through to the top Yeah,

00:21:26.000 I mean there's exceptions to that where you have like Phenomenal physical specimens that are incredibly dedicated and dealing with a lot of demons like Tyson in his prime. 0.54

00:21:35.000 Yeah.

00:21:36.000 You know, but I don't know if that would work in MMA the same way it worked in boxing.

00:21:40.000 Like, I just don't know with all the variables in boxing.

00:21:43.000 Like, with Tyson, or in MMA rather, with Tyson, like, in his prime, he could just wade towards guys bob and weave and throw bombs and figure out a way to just smash them.

00:21:53.000 He was just so much faster than everybody and he hit so hard.

00:21:55.000 Yeah, and they were afraid of him.

00:21:57.000 Yeah.

00:21:57.000 But I wonder if you're ever going to see that kind of person dominate the way Tyson did as a MMA fighter.

00:22:05.000 Like, I just don't know.

00:22:06.000 And it's weird.

00:22:07.000 I never care what their face looks like when they walk into the ring.

00:22:10.000 Like, you know, when you don't watch fighting, you're like, oh, God, he looks frightening.

00:22:13.000 But you pointed it out, and he chews gum, and he's steep and miocic when he walks in. 1.00

00:22:17.000 He couldn't look happier.

00:22:18.000 Oh, he's so calm.

00:22:19.000 Jose Aldo won't look the guy in the eye.

00:22:21.000 He looks like he's terrified.

00:22:22.000 He's just kind of looking down and being humble.

00:22:23.000 Yeah.

00:22:25.000 None of that stuff seems to work with those guys because every one of them knows there's so many ways to lose. 0.99

00:22:29.000 I don't know what it is, but they don't seem to try that shit with each other like boxers. 1.00

00:22:33.000 Some guys do. 0.99

00:22:34.000 It was a big thing with Vanderlei Silva.

00:22:36.000 Vanderlei used to stare guys down big time, you know, and Mirko Krokop and him had like the greatest stare down in the history of pride.

00:22:43.000 They're just both staring at each other.

00:22:45.000 It was super intense.

00:22:46.000 I remember, by the way, Mirko, when you're talking about his stare, that's probably, whatever year he came over to UFC, was it 2008 or 2007? 0.92

00:22:52.000 You were on our show on K-Rock, and you were talking about this guy Mirko Krokop's coming over and his fucking stare, and we were watching his stare down. 0.91

00:22:59.000 Look at this. 0.97

00:23:00.000 This is Mirko versus Vanderlei.

00:23:01.000 Vanderlei used to intimidate everybody, but Mirko was the head of an anti-terrorist squadron in Croatia.

00:23:07.000 Oof. 0.99

00:23:08.000 He didn't give a fuck, and he was a world-class kickboxer. 0.99

00:23:11.000 Like, look how fucking intense this is. 0.99

00:23:14.000 He's completely unintimidated by that stare. 1.00

00:23:17.000 Yeah, and he beat the holy shit out of Vanderlei. 0.98

00:23:20.000 He was the first guy to really flatline Vanderlei. 0.99

00:23:23.000 He head kicked him into a coma.

00:23:24.000 Wow.

00:23:25.000 Yeah, just blam!

00:23:27.000 It was the second time they fought.

00:23:29.000 The first time they fought was his first MMA fight, and they had all these weird, wacky rules.

00:23:33.000 Like, they could only be on the ground for 30 seconds, and they had to stand them back up.

00:23:36.000 In pride?

00:23:37.000 Yeah.

00:23:38.000 Mirko wasn't really doing MMA. I mean, he was sort of training in MMA, but...

00:23:43.000 Vanderlei was a champion.

00:23:44.000 I mean Vanderlei was a world-class fighter, and so they had some sort of a weird arrangement.

00:23:49.000 And the arrangement was like limited amount of time on the ground and a bunch of other wacky rules.

00:23:55.000 Who won that first fight?

00:23:55.000 It was a draw.

00:23:56.000 Because if no one finished anyone, that was the other thing.

00:23:59.000 Nobody finished anybody then decided that it was gonna be a draw.

00:24:02.000 And the rounds were, were they 10-minute rounds?

00:24:04.000 Well, back then they were 10-minute first rounds, and then you'd have a five-minute second round and a five-minute third round if it was a championship fight.

00:24:12.000 But I think with Vanderlei and him, they shortened the rounds as well.

00:24:17.000 I don't remember the whole deal.

00:24:19.000 But then the second time they fought, it was a legit Pride MMA fight.

00:24:23.000 And Mirko had already fought a bunch of Pride fights and really got into the groove.

00:24:27.000 And they'd become one of the best heavyweights alive.

00:24:30.000 And he just beat the shit out of Vanderlei. 0.96

00:24:31.000 I've never seen that stare down. 0.98

00:24:33.000 That was really intense.

00:24:34.000 Intense!

00:24:34.000 That was an intimidating stare down.

00:24:36.000 Yeah, that's Mirko in his prime.

00:24:38.000 Unshakeable.

00:24:39.000 Because he's not moving.

00:24:39.000 Not moving.

00:24:40.000 Yeah, but you're right.

00:24:41.000 You're the head of an anti-terrorist police group, I guess, or police group.

00:24:46.000 Could I have sounded more like my niece?

00:24:49.000 The head of an anti-police?

00:24:51.000 But if you're like an anti-terrorism cop, I mean, that's the face you have.

00:24:54.000 I mean, you have to get information out of people.

00:24:55.000 Well, he's most likely seen a lot of people die.

00:24:59.000 You think?

00:24:59.000 Yeah.

00:25:00.000 Croatia's a hard place, man.

00:25:02.000 I mean, he's a hard man in a hard place.

00:25:05.000 And on top of being, like, a soldier, he was, you know, one of the best kickboxers alive.

00:25:11.000 Before he went into MMA. Oh man, he was amazing.

00:25:17.000 He was very good as a kickboxer, but really came into his own as an MMA fighter.

00:25:22.000 Because his style of kickboxing was uniquely effective in MMA. Because he was very explosive and fast.

00:25:29.000 Whereas some guys would be more...

00:25:33.000 They would be more methodical or technical, like Ernesto Hoost or Peter Ertz or some of these other guys.

00:25:39.000 They would stand in front of guys more and just pick their shots better.

00:25:44.000 Mirko would just blast you with one or two single shots.

00:25:47.000 But that was way more effective in MMA, that explosive, really fast style.

00:25:52.000 Yeah, I would like to see Wonderboy, one of his kickboxing fights.

00:25:56.000 He's like 57 and always a kickboxer.

00:25:58.000 I never watched him kickbox.

00:26:00.000 There's a lot online.

00:26:01.000 You can see him online.

00:26:02.000 I should do that online because God knows what I'm doing is not helping me.

00:26:05.000 The beating off stuff?

00:26:07.000 I'm trying not to as much, but there's so many fun things to watch. 0.73

00:26:11.000 I've been jerking off during the day because it's so ritualistic for me that when I jerk off during the day, I'm like, okay, I can be a person and I don't have to think about that for the rest of the day.

00:26:21.000 It really helps my day go much more productive.

00:26:23.000 Have you ever thought of meditating?

00:26:24.000 Do you meditate at all?

00:26:25.000 No, I get it.

00:26:26.000 Like, you know, before we started, Joe pointed out, he's like, you always have an issue.

00:26:31.000 And he's right.

00:26:32.000 And for me, it'll be an itch.

00:26:33.000 Well, you were talking about some new issue.

00:26:35.000 Yeah, my throat.

00:26:36.000 But I've had that for years, where certain foods fuck me up.

00:26:39.000 That happens to me, too, though.

00:26:40.000 Pot does that, for sure.

00:26:42.000 Really?

00:26:42.000 Yeah, if I smoke too much weed before a show, I get phlegmy.

00:26:45.000 I think it's a combination of maybe coffee and eggs like the eggs I think do it I went to like one of these alternative doctors I thought maybe my my adrenal glands were fucked up so he's like well you got to cut out the eggs or cut out the coffee and I can't stop with the coffee Fruits good for like before a show like apples,

00:27:04.000 you know certain fruit fucks me I went around the corner.

00:27:06.000 I wanted a nice veggie Thing and a pure vegetable juice. 0.99

00:27:10.000 By the way celery in a fucking vegetable juice blows because it just dominates the entire juice I hate it. 0.99

00:27:15.000 It's great for cleaning out your system though. 0.99

00:27:17.000 Is it really good for you? 1.00

00:27:18.000 Oh throws your fucking pipes free. 1.00

00:27:20.000 Oh, okay Celery juice is one of the best juices like if you have to take a shit and You know, I've been constipated because I've been on a new medication that's supposed to cause diarrhea, but I have not been shitting. 1.00

00:27:32.000 What are you on a medication for? 0.99

00:27:34.000 It's PrEP, so you don't get HIV and I'm negative.

00:27:37.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99

00:27:38.000 I know, but I don't even really need it now because I'm in a fucking relationship. 0.99

00:27:41.000 But I started to take it. 1.00

00:27:42.000 I'm like, I'm just going to be smart because I'm a fucking pervert. 1.00

00:27:45.000 How is that smart to take a medication like that? 0.99

00:27:48.000 Aren't there AIDS medications now?

00:27:50.000 HIV medications that completely stop it from being a problem?

00:27:53.000 There are, but you don't want to have it.

00:27:54.000 I don't want to get it.

00:27:55.000 Yeah, I don't want to get it.

00:27:57.000 I mean, I've only taken it for a little while, and I'm probably going to stop because I'm in a relationship, and I got to go.

00:28:02.000 They want you to be tested after a month and make sure that your blood is okay, your liver is okay, your kidneys.

00:28:06.000 They want to, like, look you over. 1.00

00:28:07.000 Yeah, get off that shit. 1.00

00:28:08.000 Is it bad for you? 1.00

00:28:09.000 I just got to imagine it is.

00:28:11.000 Anything that...

00:28:12.000 I mean, anything that gives you diarrhea...

00:28:16.000 Well, it's only for a few days, but it didn't give it to me. 0.95

00:28:18.000 It literally stopped me from shitting. 0.97

00:28:19.000 But it gave you constipation. 0.94

00:28:21.000 It did, yeah.

00:28:22.000 It did.

00:28:22.000 That can't be good.

00:28:23.000 Yeah.

00:28:23.000 I just, I mean, isn't that a, that's a thing with, like, Vicodin and a lot of those painkillers, it gives you constipation?

00:28:30.000 Yeah, I've only taken Vicodin once after I had my sinuses fixed.

00:28:35.000 But the prep I took, and I don't have any more of them, and I'm like, I'm gonna go back and see the guy, and I don't even know if I'm gonna do it again. 1.00

00:28:40.000 Don't take that shit. 0.97

00:28:41.000 I just, at one point I was being crazy, so I'm like, I just wanted to make sure I don't get that. 1.00

00:28:45.000 Yeah, you know, I would rather have some kind of a I know I wouldn't be on it forever, right? 0.85

00:28:49.000 But I'm like while I'm fucking acting like an ass Let me at least One of the podcast episodes that I took the most amount of heat for early in the day was I did a podcast with a guy named Peter Dewsburg He's a biologist out of the University of California Berkeley and he's a very respected biologist.

00:29:07.000 He's done a lot of great work on cancer and But he's got a very controversial take on HIV, and he does not believe that HIV causes AIDS. He thinks that HIV is evidence of a weak immune system. 0.98

00:29:22.000 And he thinks that when people have HIV, it's because their immune system is compromised.

00:29:29.000 It's not that HIV compromises their immune system.

00:29:32.000 And he feels like all these people that are catching AIDS and getting HIV, what's happening is they're doing a lot of party drugs.

00:29:40.000 They're doing amyl nitrate and crystal meth.

00:29:43.000 And that's very, very prevalent inside the gay community. 0.78

00:29:45.000 You know, gay guys party a ton, right? 0.99

00:29:48.000 And they're doing a lot of drugs. 0.95

00:29:49.000 And he points to the high correlation between all these people doing these party drugs and HIV. His work is widely criticized amongst legitimate scientists, and most people just do not agree with him.

00:30:02.000 And they say that the...

00:30:05.000 The connection between HIV and AIDS is rock solid and undeniable.

00:30:09.000 But he thinks it's not.

00:30:11.000 And boy, do people get mad at me about that one. 0.98

00:30:13.000 I'm just talking to this fucking guy who's a biologist at the University of California, Berkeley. 0.97

00:30:18.000 I mean, I'm figuring, this guy's a legit scientist, but he can't get funding for anything. 0.98

00:30:23.000 He's essentially a blackball from the academic community. 0.99

00:30:26.000 And it was really weird talking to him.

00:30:29.000 It's like, has anybody debated you?

00:30:30.000 And he's like, no, no one will debate me.

00:30:32.000 You know, is it almost like...

00:30:34.000 What about Arthur Ashe, or is he saying that a direct injection into the bloodstream will give it to you?

00:30:39.000 How does he explain those?

00:30:40.000 Well, I don't know what Arthur Ashe was doing, but what he was saying essentially was that...

00:30:44.000 Transfusion, I think he got it.

00:30:45.000 One of the things about HIV was that if you got HIV... Arthur Ashe got a transfusion for what reason, though?

00:30:51.000 Oh, I don't know.

00:30:53.000 I'm not sure.

00:30:54.000 I think he had something wrong, right?

00:30:55.000 What he's saying is that when your immune system is compromised, that's when HIV shows itself.

00:31:00.000 That HIV is a very weak virus, and that it only shows up in the immune systems of people that are compromised.

00:31:06.000 Okay.

00:31:07.000 Is he saying we all have it, or you can catch it?

00:31:11.000 No, he's not saying we all have it, but he's saying you can catch it, but he's saying The evidence of it is only in people that have a weakened immune system.

00:31:20.000 Again, this is not something I believe, ladies and gentlemen.

00:31:22.000 Don't get mad at me.

00:31:24.000 Because then you have kids like Ryan White, where there's a million different cases of people who obviously got it in very weird ways, or again, through blood transfusions, or they were born with it.

00:31:34.000 Well here it says, Arthur Ashe says he believed he contracted HIV, the viruses causes AIDS, through a transfusion of tainted blood during his second round of heart bypass surgery in 1983. First learned of his infection.

00:31:48.000 Now here's the other issue that Peter Duisburg was saying, was that what they were giving people when they first tested positive for HIV was AZT. And that AZT is a medication they used to use for chemotherapy, but they stopped using it for chemotherapy because it was killing people quicker than cancer was killing people.

00:32:07.000 I mean, it was just a brutal, brutal drug.

00:32:09.000 And they had a bunch of it in his mind.

00:32:12.000 They had a bunch of it laying around after that, and they decided to try to use it on AIDS patients.

00:32:16.000 And they started reintroducing it.

00:32:20.000 And you wonder, and I guess the conspiracy thing is like the pharmaceutical company had all these drugs that they wanted to get rid of and needed, or do they think that, hey, they were just trying to do something?

00:32:29.000 Who knows?

00:32:29.000 I mean, obviously it wasn't the smart thing to do because they don't use it anymore, and it didn't help people.

00:32:34.000 AZT did not help people with AIDS. I mean, people that took AZT died.

00:32:38.000 A lot of them.

00:32:39.000 A shitload of them.

00:32:40.000 And AIDS back then was essentially a death sentence.

00:32:43.000 But there was a lot of people that didn't do anything that got AIDS, that got HIV... And never got AIDS. They just took care of their body and took a holistic approach and used nutrition.

00:32:54.000 I just think it's super controversial, like anything else.

00:32:56.000 I mean, there's people that get cancer and don't die.

00:32:59.000 They get cured of it.

00:33:00.000 But then there's people that get cancer and it ravages their system and kills them.

00:33:03.000 Like Steve Jobs.

00:33:04.000 I mean, he listened to people.

00:33:05.000 Didn't he try alternative medicine?

00:33:07.000 Steve Jobs should still be alive.

00:33:08.000 He had, like they said, a pretty curable form of cancer.

00:33:10.000 I thought he had pancreatic.

00:33:12.000 No, I thought his was, they said, a fairly curable one that he had listened to his friends and tried to go so holistic, and they said if he had gone and just had it treated, he probably would have survived it.

00:33:23.000 Well, there's probably a lot of that going on. 0.98

00:33:26.000 There's always a lot of fucking wacky people with their wacky ideas about holistic medicine. 0.94

00:33:30.000 Dude, I saw a guy do a TED Talk on basically saying, like, strawberries are really good because they cause their anti-angiogenesis or something, which is about it stops the production of new blood vessels, and that's what feeds cancer. 0.99

00:33:44.000 Like, he literally had me convinced you could eat fucking strawberries and not get cancer in large quantities.

00:33:49.000 So, I mean, if you hear somebody talk who really knows what they're talking about, even if they're wrong... 0.98

00:33:53.000 Right.

00:33:53.000 A lot of people are convinced by that.

00:33:54.000 Well, that's one of the problems with YouTube videos, right?

00:33:57.000 Where people have wacky conspiracy theories.

00:33:58.000 As long as they speak with big words and they say things in complete sentences and they sound articulate, you start to believe them.

00:34:06.000 The one thing that has been proven to be effective with cancer, some forms of cancer, is ketogenic diets, diets where you're fat-based, where you eat a lot of avocados and coconut oil, and your body burns those rather than glucose.

00:34:21.000 And some cancers feed off sugar. 0.99

00:34:24.000 So to starve them, you go on a very low-sugar diet and a very high-fat diet, and apparently there's real science that shows There's some benefits to that.

00:34:36.000 But it's only certain kind of cancers.

00:34:37.000 Yeah, certain kind of cancers it doesn't affect at all.

00:34:39.000 Certain kind of brain cancers it doesn't affect at all. 0.99

00:34:41.000 It doesn't matter what the fuck you do. 1.00

00:34:43.000 You better go to a doctor. 1.00

00:34:44.000 Yeah.

00:34:44.000 I mean, you can do both.

00:34:46.000 I mean, why not just go to the doctor and try some of that? 0.99

00:34:47.000 Like, have an avocado while you're going to the fucking hospital. 0.99

00:34:49.000 You have to choose. 1.00

00:34:51.000 What were you about to say, Jamie?

00:34:53.000 When I just Googled on the Steve Jobs thing, both of you are actually correct from what I just found.

00:34:57.000 He had pancreatic cancer, but he also could have been saved potentially.

00:35:01.000 But then this next thing also says that he lived for 20 years with it.

00:35:06.000 He didn't have chemo or radiation.

00:35:08.000 The Swayze had pancreatic and died within 18 months. 0.64

00:35:10.000 Oh, they're saying that the treatment killed him. 1.00

00:35:16.000 Or are there different kinds of pancreatic cancers, stupid? 0.99

00:35:18.000 Isn't it like there's Hodgkin's and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, one is worse than the other? 0.99

00:35:23.000 Put that back up, please.

00:35:25.000 Jesus Christ.

00:35:27.000 It said Steve lived for 20 years with his cancer.

00:35:29.000 It seems he did not have chemotherapy or radiation treatment at all.

00:35:34.000 Who's answering this?

00:35:35.000 What is this? 1.00

00:35:36.000 This is a bullshit. 1.00

00:35:37.000 See, by the way, go up right there. 1.00

00:35:39.000 Walter Isaacson, he's writing a Steve Jobs biography.

00:35:42.000 He told 60 Minutes that Steve refused what could have been potentially a life-saving surgery.

00:35:46.000 But he did have more than one surgery, right?

00:35:49.000 Didn't he have his liver replaced?

00:35:52.000 I feel like he had a liver transplant.

00:35:56.000 What is it that makes a guy not want a surgery that might work?

00:35:59.000 Like, do people become delusional when they're that...

00:36:02.000 Are they afraid of the surgery?

00:36:03.000 Are they willing just to die? 1.00

00:36:04.000 Like, fucking Zappa hated going to the doctor, and he died when he was 56. What was wrong with Zappa when he died? 1.00

00:36:09.000 I think it was a cancer.

00:36:10.000 I want to say it was colon cancer or prostate.

00:36:12.000 The surgeon who gave Steve Jobs a new liver in two more years faces new questions.

00:36:17.000 That's 2013. What does it say?

00:36:20.000 It says, uh, he bought the Memphis house for a job, convalesced.

00:36:24.000 What?

00:36:25.000 I don't know.

00:36:25.000 He later bought the Memphis house.

00:36:28.000 Ew.

00:36:29.000 He bought the house where Steve Jobs was living? 0.99

00:36:31.000 Yeah, they said the guy who was treating George Harrison brought him a guitar to sign while he was in the fucking hospital. 0.98

00:36:36.000 Hey, sign this real quick. 0.96

00:36:38.000 Yeah, yeah Revelation came with the end of the southern transplant mark boo boo boo boo say that name peru squee pera perus Aperic wait, that's cool.

00:36:49.000 Yeah Praskia Praskia Praskia Praskia Praskia front-page story rr r u s q u I a Praskia Front page story, Thursday in the Memphis Commercial Advocate.

00:37:04.000 Peace paints a vivid picture of the life-saving operation, although it takes most of the details about jobs from the Walter Isaacson biography, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:37:13.000 So what is the question?

00:37:14.000 How did jobs move to the top of the list?

00:37:16.000 Oh, it's one of those things. 0.99

00:37:17.000 It's like Frank Underwood in the fucking... 1.00

00:37:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:20.000 Well, he probably paid somebody. 1.00

00:37:21.000 Jesus, how the fuck do you think he got to the top of the list? 0.98

00:37:23.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:37:23.000 When you have $50 billion, you can move around. 0.97

00:37:26.000 Yeah, when the way you're emailing is because of something you've invented, you probably get to the fucking top of the list fast. 0.98

00:37:31.000 I wonder what killed his liver. 0.97

00:37:32.000 I wonder if it was medication.

00:37:35.000 I know a friend who just died from pancreatic cancer, and he had it for quite a few years.

00:37:41.000 I met him in 2014, and he already had it, and he just died.

00:37:49.000 It says he once refused Tim Cook's liver transplant offer because he has the same rare blood type as him.

00:37:55.000 Wow.

00:37:55.000 Whoa, Tim Cook would have given Steve Jobs a chunk of liver?

00:38:00.000 Boy, that's intense.

00:38:01.000 Yeah.

00:38:01.000 And then he winds up taking over the company?

00:38:03.000 Whoa.

00:38:04.000 Yeah, what a good boss he must have been.

00:38:06.000 Yeah.

00:38:06.000 If you want to give your boss your liver, I wouldn't give my boss a hat.

00:38:10.000 Yeah, could you, I guess obviously they were good friends, but could you imagine?

00:38:13.000 That's intense, man.

00:38:14.000 Your liver is something that regenerates.

00:38:16.000 Hospital where Jobs received transplant was given $40 million by him.

00:38:21.000 Well, that's how you do it.

00:38:21.000 Yeah, I guess he was appreciative.

00:38:23.000 Yeah, that's how you get to the front of the line.

00:38:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:25.000 What, do you think lines are supposed to be fair, you fucks? 0.99

00:38:28.000 There's a way to cut. 0.99

00:38:29.000 Yeah.

00:38:29.000 $40 million.

00:38:30.000 $40 million you can cut.

00:38:31.000 Yeah, if you give some money to the hospital, it's probably going to save a shitload of lives.

00:38:34.000 We went to, before we came here, my radio agent died of cancer.

00:38:38.000 He was like 64, or 65. He was not that old.

00:38:41.000 And he had a cancer of lymph, I think the lymph nodes. 0.98

00:38:43.000 And he fucking was getting a little bit better, we thought. 0.99

00:38:46.000 And then... 0.98

00:38:47.000 Do you think there's a correlation between these people and these super high-stress jobs, like agents?

00:38:53.000 It can, because I know Bob was not a stressed guy, though, unless he swallowed all of it.

00:38:58.000 He was a very calm guy.

00:39:00.000 Like, literally, he was gentle, and he gave you bad news gently, but firmly.

00:39:05.000 He was a very, very unique guy.

00:39:07.000 He was not stressed unless he swallowed it and never showed it, but he seemed like a very zen guy. 0.96

00:39:14.000 And it was something with his went in for a breathing thing and just died I guess on the table and I don't have the details fuck man, but yeah, he was not that old I mean it was like you know 64 when you're I'm 49 so when you're someone 64 That's fucking that's a graspable age. 0.91

00:39:28.000 I wonder like you know obviously There's so many different factors that play into the lifespan, the difference between lifespans today, lifespans 100 years ago, 200 years ago. 0.94

00:39:39.000 And obviously there's been some big advances in medicine.

00:39:42.000 But I wonder how much our diet plays on the amount of cancer.

00:39:48.000 I mean, it's got to have a huge factor. 0.99

00:39:49.000 All the sugar, all the bullshit people eat, all the preservatives, smoking, pollution. 0.99

00:39:56.000 They say that just living in a city can take up to 10 years off your life. 0.99

00:40:00.000 That's also probably, like, it's probably the air and it's probably the stress, too, because people in the city are just, are stressed.

00:40:06.000 Yeah, I'm sure all that stuff goes into it.

00:40:08.000 I mean, we try to avoid it.

00:40:09.000 It has to.

00:40:09.000 But I try to eat healthy, like grilled chicken.

00:40:12.000 You know what I never took into consideration until just a couple years ago?

00:40:15.000 I read an article on the effects of brake dust.

00:40:18.000 Like, when you're around a high population area and people are constantly hitting their brakes.

00:40:23.000 Really?

00:40:24.000 Yeah.

00:40:24.000 When you're in traffic all the time.

00:40:26.000 Those brakes, when you, you know, you ever clean your wheels and you get that brake shit all over your wheels? 0.97

00:40:31.000 Sure. 0.91

00:40:32.000 That stuff's in the air. 1.00

00:40:33.000 That black sooty shit, that shit gets in the air. 1.00

00:40:37.000 And if you're in a place, like say if you're in Manhattan, And you got like a, you know, second floor walk-up. 1.00

00:40:44.000 Your window's open.

00:40:45.000 You're just taking in brake dust.

00:40:47.000 You're breathing that in all the time. 1.00

00:40:48.000 I mean, you'll wipe it off your fucking furniture and shit. 1.00

00:40:50.000 You'll see it on your table. 1.00

00:40:51.000 It's something no one ever thinks of either.

00:40:54.000 Like, I've never heard anyone discuss brake dust, but it is something that's all over the place.

00:40:57.000 Well, we find dust back there, Jamie.

00:40:59.000 Like, what is that dust that we keep finding back there?

00:41:02.000 It's all black. 0.97

00:41:03.000 Yeah, it's probably just like L.A. dirt, soot, because it's dry and dusty around here.

00:41:08.000 But it's black. 0.70

00:41:08.000 I see it in my house, too, in Hollywood. 0.70

00:41:11.000 Right.

00:41:11.000 But I mean, back there, it's weird, because we have a closed garage door.

00:41:15.000 It just comes in under the air.

00:41:16.000 Yeah.

00:41:16.000 We have this workout equipment, and when we wipe the workout equipment, like if we go back there right now and put a wet paper towel to that reverse hyper machine, the top of it, it's all black.

00:41:27.000 Like black dust.

00:41:28.000 Wait, there's stuff behind that?

00:41:30.000 Yeah, there's a whole warehouse back there.

00:41:31.000 Dude, as many times I've been in this room, I thought this was the entire room.

00:41:35.000 No.

00:41:35.000 I had no idea.

00:41:36.000 What a cool fucking sectional that is. 1.00

00:41:38.000 Goddammit. 1.00

00:41:38.000 Yeah, there's a room back there and there's another room behind it. 1.00

00:41:41.000 Oh, okay.

00:41:42.000 Scientists find new ways that freeways are trying to kill you.

00:41:44.000 What is it saying?

00:41:46.000 Artery thickening progressing twice the average in people living within a hundred meters of a freeway.

00:41:52.000 The connection between particulate matter and artery thickening were statistically significant for some groups.

00:41:58.000 Yeah, that's what they're talking about. 0.96

00:42:00.000 That's brake dust and shit that's coming out of exhaust pipes. 0.98

00:42:04.000 According to LA Times, 1.5 million people live within 300 meters of a freeway in the LA Basin. 0.98

00:42:10.000 Last year we found out that the freeway pollution travels much further than that, as much as 2,500 meters from the source. 0.99

00:42:16.000 Fuck all that. 0.97

00:42:18.000 So if you're, now I wonder if it's the same in Manhattan. 0.99

00:42:20.000 I'm sure it is, but, or maybe because Manhattan has less, you probably have a lot less cars going by your street in Manhattan than you do there.

00:42:26.000 2,500 meters is far.

00:42:28.000 How far is that in like feet?

00:42:30.000 Or miles?

00:42:33.000 Is that a mile?

00:42:34.000 A little over a mile.

00:42:35.000 A mile?

00:42:36.000 Yeah, because a kilometer, that's two and a half kilometers. 1.00

00:42:38.000 That's fucked, man. 0.99

00:42:39.000 Everybody a mile from the highway is getting poisoned. 0.99

00:42:42.000 Jesus you hope it but how old is that study and is it still happening as much like our our break our breaks made me better now than they were a Few years ago.

00:42:50.000 It's the same thing.

00:42:50.000 No the same thing.

00:42:51.000 That's 2010 Breaks are the same.

00:42:54.000 I mean, there's no different. 0.92

00:42:55.000 They're they're the same fucking things They've always had these pads they press down they wear out you got to replace them and when they're wearing out They're grinding down that powder isn't going anywhere, right? 0.96

00:43:04.000 Someone should probably figure out a way how to contain that I mean it seems like What we're doing now is it just it just goes out into the atmosphere. 0.99

00:43:13.000 Maybe they should be like contained like where the powder the brakes would work the same way But the powder would have to be like sucked up into some sort of a pouch or something You have to change it like a filter.

00:43:25.000 How often would you have to change it?

00:43:26.000 Probably all the time, but that seems like That would be like a real viable alternative like some sort of encased brake thing You know, I mean, that doesn't seem like outside of the realm of engineering.

00:43:38.000 Well, can they make the breaks, if that sounds unfeasible, can they make the breaks out of something that's actually just not as bad for you?

00:43:44.000 Is there anything they can do that might be a little bit of a fix?

00:43:47.000 Well, I think anything you breathe. 0.98

00:43:48.000 If you breathe in sawdust, it sucks for you.

00:43:50.000 It's a particulate matter.

00:43:51.000 Like, you're taking in things, and you're taking a certain kind of dust into your lungs, and it becomes an irritant.

00:43:57.000 It's just not good.

00:43:59.000 Not good, Jamie.

00:44:01.000 Wow.

00:44:02.000 I'm sad.

00:44:03.000 Sad for all those people that live near the highway.

00:44:05.000 Well, they live near the highway and I have my lifestyle. 0.99

00:44:07.000 So I guess we're all gonna fucking drop dead a little earlier than we should. 0.99

00:44:10.000 Listen, you don't have HIV. No. 1.00

00:44:12.000 Keep a rubber on.

00:44:13.000 You're gonna be fine.

00:44:14.000 I can't. 1.00

00:44:14.000 Don't let anybody cum in your butt and everything's gonna be okay. 1.00

00:44:17.000 This is fucking, what a party killer. 1.00

00:44:18.000 I know. 1.00

00:44:19.000 I got a lot of rules.

00:44:20.000 But, uh, no, condoms, no, I can't wear them.

00:44:23.000 Well, that's gonna be a problem.

00:44:24.000 It's definitely a problem. 1.00

00:44:25.000 My fucking dick shrivels. 1.00

00:44:26.000 How many guys have gotten AIDS from regular sex, though? 1.00

00:44:29.000 Probably very few.

00:44:30.000 Very few.

00:44:31.000 Probably very few.

00:44:31.000 Everybody should have it.

00:44:32.000 I'm sure it's somehow physically possible, but you probably have to have so many things lined up to get it from fucking a pussy. 1.00

00:44:40.000 Or even fucking an ass. 1.00

00:44:42.000 You have to have so many things lined up. 1.00

00:44:44.000 I'm sure it can happen, though.

00:44:45.000 Yeah, the issue is it has to get into your body.

00:44:48.000 But I know that people get sick all the time from having a cut and then getting someone's blood in their cut.

00:44:56.000 That's happened to people in hospitals that have done surgery and cut their finger while they're doing it and they get infected by the blood of someone else.

00:45:04.000 That's common. 0.99

00:45:05.000 Right, so if you have a little cut on your dick... 1.00

00:45:07.000 I remember when I had that... 1.00

00:45:08.000 I've told this story in my HBO special. 0.85

00:45:09.000 I had a threesome with Ron Jeremy after the porn awards. 0.93

00:45:12.000 Hey! 0.99

00:45:12.000 Yeah, it was fun. 0.99

00:45:14.000 It didn't feel necessarily sexy, but it was fun.

00:45:17.000 Sexy.

00:45:17.000 Weird way to put it.

00:45:18.000 Yeah, it was a goof. 1.00

00:45:19.000 It was like a girl and he's fucking her. 1.00

00:45:21.000 So he went into the bathroom. 1.00

00:45:22.000 He was fucking one girl and he fucked another one. 1.00

00:45:24.000 I remember he put rubbing alcohol around his dick. 1.00

00:45:26.000 And I don't know if that's that good for you, but I think he was doing it to make sure he didn't have a cut. 1.00

00:45:29.000 Or he did that before he fucked her. 1.00

00:45:31.000 Rubbing alcohol. 1.00

00:45:32.000 Yeah, or something.

00:45:33.000 To make sure that it was clean and there were no cuts.

00:45:35.000 That is so hardcore. 0.99

00:45:36.000 It is, but his dick has probably seen a lot of action and it might be a way to keep things off it. 0.99

00:45:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:45:41.000 If that guy doesn't have AIDS, who the fuck is getting AIDS? Yeah. 1.00

00:45:44.000 You know?

00:45:45.000 I'm not lucky though.

00:45:45.000 Stop and think about that.

00:45:46.000 You're not lucky.

00:45:47.000 I'm not a lucky guy.

00:45:47.000 You're pretty lucky if you're here right now.

00:45:49.000 Terrible at cards.

00:45:49.000 Yeah.

00:45:50.000 I mean, think about that. 1.00

00:45:51.000 If that guy doesn't have AIDS, fuck. 1.00

00:45:54.000 Yeah, I mean, I do realize I've rolled the dice way too many times, and I'm like, I'm lucky. 1.00

00:45:59.000 Now I'm really grateful. 1.00

00:46:00.000 Like, fuck, man, you just stop. 1.00

00:46:02.000 Well, it's also your, you know, I just think it's harder to get For a man than it is for a woman. 1.00

00:46:11.000 It seems like unless again you let somebody come in your butt. 0.99

00:46:14.000 Yeah, that can be rough. 0.99

00:46:15.000 It's harder.

00:46:15.000 I think it's harder to get.

00:46:18.000 It is.

00:46:18.000 What am I, a doctor?

00:46:19.000 No, but you're right.

00:46:20.000 I think it is hard. 1.00

00:46:20.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:46:21.000 People are like, I'm about to go fuck without a rubber right now because Rogan says so. 1.00

00:46:24.000 No, but I think you're right. 1.00

00:46:25.000 It probably is harder to get unless you have a cut on your dick and she has a cut in her pussy and they happen to just go airtight against each other. 1.00

00:46:31.000 I mean, come on. 1.00

00:46:31.000 Yeah, for a woman, you've got to think everything's exposed, right? 1.00

00:46:37.000 All that area inside their vagina is all open tissue. 1.00

00:46:41.000 It's all absorbing. 0.99

00:46:43.000 They have the worst situation.

00:46:45.000 It's the worst setup.

00:46:46.000 I was told years ago by a woman who worked in the health field that it is such a delicate virus that if you... 0.99

00:46:53.000 She's like, a blowjob you won't even get it from. 1.00

00:46:55.000 Because your stomach kills the semen. 1.00

00:46:57.000 You can't even get it from a blowjob. 1.00

00:47:00.000 Which I don't know how true that is, but she told me that fucking... 1.00

00:47:02.000 She lived in Elkton, Maryland. 0.99

00:47:04.000 I remember she was a really cute girl I met at a road gig, and I remember the fucking town she lived in. 0.98

00:47:08.000 And she was telling you this before she blew you? 0.97

00:47:10.000 And after.

00:47:11.000 Don't worry about it.

00:47:11.000 Yeah.

00:47:12.000 Don't worry about it.

00:47:13.000 Stomach acids.

00:47:14.000 Watch.

00:47:14.000 Glug, glug, glug.

00:47:16.000 Yeah, she was a wonderful health practitioner. 0.99

00:47:19.000 She fucking drained about a gallon of seeds and told me we're all going to be fine. 0.99

00:47:23.000 Elkton, Maryland. 0.99

00:47:24.000 Good girl.

00:47:25.000 Isn't it crazy, though, that so many diseases kill people from sex?

00:47:29.000 Yeah.

00:47:29.000 I mean, syphilis, gonorrhea, those get fatal without, you know, like, isn't syphilis what killed Al Capone?

00:47:37.000 I think so, yeah.

00:47:38.000 I believe it did.

00:47:39.000 But in the 20s, there was nothing they could do for it, right?

00:47:41.000 Right, yeah.

00:47:42.000 But, I mean, it's just amazing that untreated, so many diseases...

00:47:45.000 I mean, think about how few things, other than, like, severely compromised immune systems that get hit by the flu...

00:47:52.000 You know, the people that die from the flu, usually it's old people or young people, really young people that are kind of frail.

00:47:58.000 They wind up getting sick and dying from common colds and things along those lines.

00:48:02.000 But most people, they get better from it. 1.00

00:48:03.000 Can you imagine shooting cancer out of your dick? 1.00

00:48:06.000 If that was like fucking, that would be, like that's where we'd have a problem. 1.00

00:48:10.000 If you could give somebody cancer sexually. 1.00

00:48:13.000 And I know they say oral sex and throat cancer is possible. 0.98

00:48:15.000 Well, HPV, right? 0.93

00:48:16.000 Yeah.

00:48:17.000 Human papilloma virus can give some women ovarian cancer. 1.00

00:48:20.000 Yeah, or you can get it in your throat if they have it from eating pussy. 1.00

00:48:23.000 Well, isn't that what the Michael Douglas thing was? 1.00

00:48:25.000 They said that, man. 0.98

00:48:26.000 Fucking Catherine Zeta-Jones put the kibosh on that rumor. 1.00

00:48:28.000 She was like, not true. 0.99

00:48:30.000 Plus, we're getting a divorce.

00:48:31.000 Oh, yeah, man. 1.00

00:48:32.000 She must have been when he went out and started talking about that and everyone's looking at her pussy. 1.00

00:48:35.000 That must have been so annoying. 1.00

00:48:37.000 You know, Michael, throat cancer and oral sex. 1.00

00:48:39.000 Photo of him, I get if you Google, throat cancer and oral sex, Michael Douglas comes up. 1.00

00:48:44.000 Yeah, that's gotta be a bummer. 1.00

00:48:46.000 Yeah, he probably should've kept his mouth shut about that, but she was like, Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't she suffering from some serious mental illness, like some ruthless bipolar type shit? 0.99

00:48:58.000 Oh, I don't know. 0.99

00:48:59.000 Yeah, I think Catherine Zeta-Jones is pretty open about mental illness.

00:49:04.000 I didn't know she was.

00:49:05.000 It's not surprising that there's somebody that hot.

00:49:07.000 There's always a price to pay.

00:49:08.000 Yeah, there's always, you know, you date someone that beautiful.

00:49:11.000 Is that her now?

00:49:12.000 Yeah.

00:49:12.000 Her private struggle.

00:49:15.000 Catherine Zeta-Jones bipolar disorder.

00:49:17.000 Well, you know it's true because it's in people celebrity.

00:49:20.000 Yeah.

00:49:20.000 They always get through the bottom of things.

00:49:21.000 Yeah, she's too hot. 1.00

00:49:22.000 That's the problem. 1.00

00:49:23.000 Nature just gives her a fucking curveball. 1.00

00:49:25.000 Oh, you want to be hot? 1.00

00:49:26.000 How about a little crazy to go that hot? 0.87

00:49:29.000 You're going to be this beautiful and you're going to want to hang yourself during a Sanka commercial. 0.51

00:49:32.000 There you go.

00:49:32.000 Look at this.

00:49:33.000 She says, I torture my husband.

00:49:35.000 Had a tough few years from her husband's cancer to her own public battle with bipolar disorder.

00:49:40.000 Now the Hollywood star is back with a new film.

00:49:42.000 Not really new.

00:49:44.000 How inspirational.

00:49:45.000 Because she's kind of vanished off the face of the map.

00:49:47.000 Yeah.

00:49:48.000 You got to wonder, like, when people...

00:49:49.000 I was looking at some pictures the other day of some movie star that I forgot who his name was.

00:49:55.000 But he was, like, in a ton of movies.

00:49:57.000 And then, oh...

00:49:59.000 The guy that was in platoon with the scars all over his face.

00:50:01.000 Oh, Tom Berenger.

00:50:01.000 Tom Berenger.

00:50:02.000 And then just vanished.

00:50:04.000 You know what?

00:50:04.000 He kind of did, man.

00:50:05.000 And I don't know why.

00:50:06.000 He did a movie about being a school teacher. 0.97

00:50:08.000 There's nothing worse than the white school teacher in the black school. 1.00

00:50:11.000 We get it. 0.99

00:50:12.000 We get it.

00:50:13.000 You're rescuing them. 1.00

00:50:14.000 Fucking Hollywood assholes. 1.00

00:50:15.000 Those Those movies are the worst. 1.00

00:50:17.000 Michelle Pfeiffer, how great was she in Dangerous Minds? 0.99

00:50:19.000 Remember when Gangsta's Paradise was the theme song?

00:50:22.000 And she was going to go in there with that bad accent. 0.99

00:50:26.000 And it was funny because this is white people feeling like their music was getting lame.

00:50:30.000 Where I think it was Bob Dylan lyrics she was teaching the young ruffians with. 0.90

00:50:34.000 That's like desperate white people wanting to go like, look, black guys, our stuff's cool.

00:50:37.000 And they read the lyrics. 1.00

00:50:39.000 They're like, oh shit, these are troubled times. 1.00

00:50:41.000 Fucking terrible. 1.00

00:50:44.000 Like a rock. 1.00

00:50:46.000 I was strong as I could be.

00:50:48.000 That's what it is.

00:50:51.000 Can we check that if it was Bob Dylan's song?

00:50:53.000 Never shoot a homeboy.

00:50:55.000 Oh my god, she wrote that down.

00:50:57.000 Who should you shoot, Catherine or Michelle? 1.00

00:50:59.000 Her fucking hair, girl. 1.00

00:51:00.000 She looks like Gilbert Grape with that hair, too. 1.00

00:51:02.000 She was really hot, but not in that one. 0.99

00:51:03.000 Yeah, and she had a leather jacket on.

00:51:05.000 On the show, she was hardcore.

00:51:06.000 Even indoors, she wears a leather jacket.

00:51:08.000 Her accent was not good. 0.96

00:51:10.000 Gangster.

00:51:10.000 What was the accent in that?

00:51:11.000 It was Southern, but it kind of went back and forth. 0.99

00:51:13.000 I don't know if she was from Tennessee or fucking Boston. 1.00

00:51:16.000 That's the worst. 1.00

00:51:17.000 I think they make a decision.

00:51:19.000 One day, the first day of shooting is 40 minutes into the film.

00:51:23.000 40 minutes deep into the movie, that's the first day of shooting.

00:51:26.000 And then they start somewhere else and they change the accent.

00:51:29.000 And it just changes by the time they get to 40 minutes.

00:51:31.000 Look at that picture of her with Coolio. 0.69

00:51:33.000 Look at that.

00:51:34.000 Yeah.

00:51:35.000 Wow, that's a good one.

00:51:36.000 Coolio won Fear Factor.

00:51:38.000 Did he really?

00:51:39.000 Yeah, and he was so high.

00:51:42.000 I mean, so high. 0.98

00:51:44.000 I would open up his trailer door and just get a fucking ferocious contact high. 0.98

00:51:48.000 Just from opening the door, I was like, what? 0.99

00:51:52.000 Fascinating guy.

00:51:53.000 Well, I don't know.

00:51:54.000 I did what to recall.

00:51:55.000 Mark Maron had a show called Nevermind the Buzzcocks.

00:51:57.000 And one of the guests on there was Coolio.

00:51:59.000 And I did it with Wonder Mike from the Sugarhill Gang. 0.87

00:52:01.000 Coolio.

00:52:02.000 Nevermind the Buzzcocks?

00:52:03.000 Yeah, Mark Maron.

00:52:04.000 It was a British show.

00:52:05.000 And then Mark Maron hosted it here in like 2000. Hmm.

00:52:08.000 And he was one of the guests.

00:52:10.000 And he loved me.

00:52:11.000 We had so much fun.

00:52:12.000 And I saw him years later and he had no memory that we'd ever met.

00:52:14.000 So he did seem a bit high.

00:52:16.000 I was like, he loved me.

00:52:17.000 He literally got on his knees and was bowing to me. 0.97

00:52:20.000 Because I said something fucked up so he was just enjoying it. 0.95

00:52:23.000 So I'm like, the guy will definitely remember me. 1.00

00:52:25.000 It's like fucking dumb slick Rick. 0.99

00:52:27.000 I brought him on stage at the Comedy Cellar one time. 1.00

00:52:28.000 We took a photo together.

00:52:29.000 I saw him years later in the airport.

00:52:31.000 Nothing.

00:52:32.000 How do you not remember being brought on stage from the audience?

00:52:35.000 If I was watching a show and they brought me up on stage, Manny was like, but do a picture!

00:52:39.000 I think a lot of those guys, they meet so many people that their hard drive is just constantly full.

00:52:45.000 They're just constantly deleting files.

00:52:47.000 Which is understandable.

00:52:48.000 It was just the circumstances that were weird.

00:52:50.000 Not the fact that it was me. 0.99

00:52:52.000 I've interviewed people and they don't remember me, but I get that because I've done radio shows and I don't know who the fuck you are ten minutes later. 0.99

00:52:57.000 There you go. 0.99

00:52:58.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:53:00.000 You and Slick Rick at the Cellar.

00:53:01.000 It's one of my favorite photos in history.

00:53:02.000 He was in the audience and none of the comedians would talk to him.

00:53:05.000 So I was going to.

00:53:06.000 I was told I loved him.

00:53:07.000 And I'm like, I'm taking a photo with you after the show.

00:53:09.000 And Manny, the owner, was in there.

00:53:10.000 And he goes, do it now!

00:53:11.000 You know, Manny was so great. 0.99

00:53:12.000 And so fucking Rick came on stage. 1.00

00:53:14.000 Did he get shot in the eye or something? 0.99

00:53:16.000 I don't know how his eye, I believe he got shot or he did something like that was in a children's story, like there was something similar in his real life when he went to jail, like that rapid children's story, but I don't know exactly how his eye went.

00:53:28.000 I thought he had an interesting story for that, but maybe he didn't.

00:53:32.000 I interviewed Coolio before he won Fear Factor, and the last stunt that he won, he was telling me that this is already over, he's already done this, he's lived a thousand lives and a thousand universes, and he was just so barbecued.

00:53:44.000 It was like inspirational.

00:53:45.000 Wow.

00:53:46.000 I was listening to him, I was like, whoa.

00:53:48.000 But because he was so high, I think he just had no nerves going in.

00:53:53.000 He just sort of did the event like it was nothing.

00:53:56.000 Unafraid.

00:53:56.000 Yeah, it was some balance thing.

00:53:58.000 I forget what it is. 0.98

00:53:59.000 They were on some beams or some shit. 0.99

00:54:01.000 It's fucking amazing nobody died doing that show. 0.99

00:54:03.000 I look back at it sometimes and I just go, whew. 0.98

00:54:06.000 Aren't they doing it again with another host?

00:54:08.000 Yeah, with Ludacris.

00:54:09.000 That's right.

00:54:11.000 Ludacris is doing it.

00:54:11.000 They did it once.

00:54:12.000 I don't know if they're going to keep doing it.

00:54:13.000 Apparently it was kind of a flop.

00:54:15.000 Was it?

00:54:15.000 Yeah.

00:54:16.000 You know why?

00:54:16.000 Because when it was done, it was very timely.

00:54:18.000 But now with the internet has gotten so much faster and we can watch everything on our phone, it's kind of hard.

00:54:23.000 You can see real life deaths.

00:54:25.000 Yeah.

00:54:25.000 So it's kind of hard to see people doing crazy stuff when you can turn it on and just see someone do it without a show around.

00:54:30.000 They're just doing it.

00:54:31.000 Well, it's also, they did it without the original production team.

00:54:35.000 And the original production team, they cut the budget substantially, so it looked kind of cheap.

00:54:41.000 And then the stunts weren't as dangerous.

00:54:43.000 Like, the original production team, they were wizards.

00:54:46.000 I mean, they were really good at that kind of show.

00:54:47.000 And they did 148 episodes of the first season, and then we came back, we did six more.

00:54:55.000 So there was a...

00:54:56.000 I mean, they had just massive amounts of experience of putting together, like, the stunt people, the B-stunt people.

00:55:03.000 B-stunts were all the gross things. 1.00

00:55:04.000 Like, all that stuff was...

00:55:06.000 I think they didn't do any gross stuff this time around.

00:55:09.000 That's because the lawyers probably got involved.

00:55:10.000 They probably now, it's corporate, and the lawyers are probably like, oh, you know, and then they're, like, worried about lawsuits, and no matter what you sign, they're still going to sue. 0.98

00:55:17.000 So the lawyers probably chopped a lot of that shit out, or they couldn't get insurance.

00:55:19.000 Well, with NBC, the second iteration of Fear Factor in like, what was it, like 2012 or something like that, and we did it again? 0.98

00:55:28.000 2011, 2012. When we did it again, they were off, I think it was 11. They did it, it was off the deep end scary.

00:55:35.000 Like, they went way too far.

00:55:37.000 They did.

00:55:37.000 Yeah, it was dangerous.

00:55:38.000 I thought it was dangerous.

00:55:39.000 Like, some of the stunts they were doing were like so much more intense than the stuff that we had done before. 0.98

00:55:45.000 I'm like, this is fucking, someone could get hurt here.

00:55:48.000 Did you not want to do it after that, like a second season of the new iteration, or you just didn't want to do it? 0.99

00:55:53.000 Well, they canceled it because people had a drink cum.

00:55:56.000 Wow, that should have automatically got to the second season.

00:56:00.000 That's what got it canceled.

00:56:01.000 Really? 0.99

00:56:02.000 They played horseshoes for donkey cum. 0.99

00:56:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:56:05.000 They were throwing horseshoes, and no matter what, you had to drink some cum.

00:56:09.000 Like, if you landed a perfect ring toss, I think you only had to drink a couple of ounces. 0.95

00:56:13.000 But these dudes were drinking, like, beer steins of cum. 0.97

00:56:17.000 Wow! 0.93

00:56:18.000 Why did they cancel?

00:56:19.000 Were there complaints?

00:56:20.000 Yes.

00:56:20.000 Or did the network go...

00:56:21.000 Yeah, they went too far.

00:56:23.000 TMZ got a hold of footage, and they put...

00:56:28.000 NBC passed on, I mean, they passed, they said, okay, to all the stunts, right? 0.67

00:56:34.000 So they cleared all of the ridiculous stunts that they wanted to do, and this was the most ridiculous. 0.98

00:56:41.000 Like, getting people to drink cum on television. 0.99

00:56:43.000 Yeah, it's rough. 0.81

00:56:44.000 Well, it's just like, it's so over-the-top, and the idea was that they couldn't have Fear Factor the way they used to have it before.

00:56:50.000 It had to be bigger, badder, crazier Fear Factor.

00:56:54.000 And so the second version of it was just completely over-the-top.

00:56:58.000 A little too much, and they pushed it too far, and it grossed people out. 0.99

00:57:01.000 Yeah, they drank donkey piss and donkey cum, and it was twins. 0.99

00:57:05.000 So one twin had to drink the piss. 1.00

00:57:09.000 Wow. 0.99

00:57:10.000 So she's drinking piss and the other girl's drinking cum. 1.00

00:57:12.000 Wow. 1.00

00:57:13.000 That's a lot of it.

00:57:14.000 She drank a mug. 0.99

00:57:14.000 A mug of cum. 0.99

00:57:15.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:57:16.000 What a great girlfriend she must be, though. 1.00

00:57:18.000 What a fucking ace. 0.99

00:57:19.000 You know what's interesting? 1.00

00:57:19.000 A lot of the girls... 1.00

00:57:21.000 Wanted to drink the cum rather than drink the piss. 0.99

00:57:24.000 Of course. 0.99

00:57:24.000 They have experience with it. 0.99

00:57:25.000 The piss is a grosser thing. 0.99

00:57:27.000 Cum, they're like, all right, cum is not great, but I've drank it. 0.99

00:57:30.000 And that guy drank cum. 0.99

00:57:31.000 And look at that. 0.99

00:57:31.000 They're hugging. 0.99

00:57:32.000 They got cum on their shirts. 0.98

00:57:35.000 It was deep, man. 0.98

00:57:37.000 There's only been two times ever in the history of the show where I said to the producers, hey, don't do this.

00:57:43.000 And that was one of them.

00:57:44.000 You said they shouldn't do it?

00:57:45.000 I said it's too much.

00:57:46.000 It's just too crazy.

00:57:47.000 Oh my god. 0.99

00:57:47.000 That's a lot of cum. 0.99

00:57:48.000 A shot of cum. 1.00

00:57:49.000 Look at her. 1.00

00:57:49.000 Chugging it down. 1.00

00:57:50.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:57:51.000 And chugging it down with me, my fucking stupid big head hovering over you telling you to do it. 1.00

00:57:56.000 You were encouraging her to drink the cum? 1.00

00:57:58.000 Yeah, it's like, you know, I mean, I wanted her to win. 0.97

00:58:01.000 I wanted them all to win.

00:58:03.000 It's part of the problem with doing that show.

00:58:05.000 You like them?

00:58:06.000 Well, yeah.

00:58:07.000 I mean, hopefully you wanted people to, you know, I was like a coach or a motivational speaker as much as I was a host.

00:58:14.000 Tell them you can do it.

00:58:15.000 Why don't you get in their head and you just tell them, like, look, you just put one foot in front of the other and just don't entertain any thoughts of quitting.

00:58:23.000 Because a lot of quitting...

00:58:25.000 It's just in your mind.

00:58:26.000 A lot of quitting is just your mind saying, man, we can't do this.

00:58:28.000 Man, we should find a way out. 1.00

00:58:29.000 Man, fuck this. 1.00

00:58:30.000 This is just too uncomfortable. 1.00

00:58:31.000 Whereas if you can just force yourself to push those aside and don't entertain those thoughts at all, you can get through a lot of things you can't get through.

00:58:39.000 Yeah.

00:58:40.000 Yeah, that's the hard part is when you start telling us.

00:58:42.000 It's almost like when people push themselves.

00:58:44.000 I remember Matt Serra was actually talking about Ray Longo and the way he'll push you past where you think you can go.

00:58:48.000 But my problem is I'll stop when I think I have to stop.

00:58:51.000 But I guess there is this stuff in the reserve tank, but it just feels like there's nothing there.

00:58:55.000 Well, it's a mindset.

00:58:57.000 It's like if you get your mind accustomed to convincing your body that enough is enough, and then you start entertaining those thoughts and thinking of those thoughts more than thinking about concentrating on the task at hand, you start thinking about, boy, if I just quit now,

00:59:12.000 I can quit.

00:59:14.000 All this uncomfortable feeling will stop.

00:59:16.000 All this heaving of my breath or burning of my legs or whatever it is that you're doing, that can all stop.

00:59:22.000 All the nervousness can stop.

00:59:24.000 Like, you see a lot of times, Before fights, we've had several instances over the course of the history of the UFC. Most of the time it doesn't happen, but several instances where people get anxiety attacks.

00:59:36.000 And you could attribute that to a lot of different things, right?

00:59:39.000 You could say, well, some people just have anxiety, and well, what is an anxiety attack?

00:59:43.000 Well, some people believe that a lot of what's happening is...

00:59:47.000 The mindset that you're entering into a fight with and that you're allowing your mind to just sort of run rampant rather than corralling it and Channeling your mind into very distinct pathways like very distinct pathways of only beneficial thoughts and You will vacillate and deviate from those thoughts but always bring it back to those very Important thoughts and to have some sort of a mantra like you are here to do your very best That's it and all thoughts of quitting

01:00:17.000 if your body fails on you.

01:00:18.000 That's one thing but let it fail Don't don't don't entertain those thoughts.

01:00:23.000 Oh my god.

01:00:23.000 Now.

01:00:23.000 It's time to quit.

01:00:24.000 Don't stop it Don't entertain those thoughts And there's a guy named David Goggins, we've talked about him on the podcast almost too much, but he's a very famous endurance athlete who's a, I think he's a Navy SEAL. And he has the world record for the most amount of chin-ups in a day.

01:00:40.000 How many?

01:00:41.000 Some insane amount, right?

01:00:43.000 He will do sets of five, where he does five chin-ups, and he does them over the course of, it was over a thousand, right?

01:00:51.000 Way more.

01:00:52.000 I think it was 2,000.

01:00:53.000 Yeah.

01:00:54.000 That way it doesn't burn his arms out.

01:00:56.000 Oh.

01:00:56.000 But how long will it take him between each one?

01:00:58.000 It takes a little break.

01:01:00.000 You know, do five, take a little break, relax a little, do another five, take a little break, relax a little, go back again.

01:01:06.000 And he attempted it more than once, because one time he did it in his forearm tour.

01:01:10.000 4,000 in 24 hours.

01:01:11.000 Oh my God!

01:01:13.000 Yeah.

01:01:13.000 So, that guy, one of his statements is, most people quit at 40%.

01:01:19.000 Most people quit at 40% of what they're capable of.

01:01:21.000 Really?

01:01:22.000 Yeah, and I think that's absolutely accurate.

01:01:24.000 Yeah, I think about that all the time.

01:01:27.000 I think about all the time when I'm on a hard run.

01:01:29.000 Like, you got to know when you're running like hills in particular, you got to know when you're just fucking exhausted and you're running the risk of falling down and you really can't breathe right.

01:01:39.000 Like, you're really pushed out.

01:01:41.000 Because particularly, like, Things like sprints or hill sprints, you will reach an aerobic threshold.

01:01:48.000 You'll reach a place where you really can't go any further.

01:01:50.000 Your heartbeat is 185 beats a minute.

01:01:53.000 You can't do it. 1.00

01:01:53.000 Yeah, you're blowing your shit out. 1.00

01:01:56.000 I mean, it's going to fail. 0.99

01:01:57.000 But when is it failing and when are you quitting? 0.99

01:02:00.000 Because there's some uncomfortable moments where my heart's like 150, 160, where if I was feeling like a pussy, I'd be like, let me just take a break here and breathe. 0.99

01:02:08.000 Which is what Bert Kreischer does. 0.99

01:02:10.000 Yeah, he probably has to.

01:02:11.000 He's a heavier man.

01:02:13.000 No, a lot of it's mental.

01:02:14.000 So you think he's just quitting?

01:02:16.000 Yeah.

01:02:17.000 It's hard not to though because you feel like your mind is telling you like I'm on the treadmill.

01:02:20.000 I can't do much.

01:02:21.000 You're like, ah!

01:02:22.000 Exactly.

01:02:22.000 I can't do it.

01:02:23.000 It's fucking boring too. 0.98

01:02:24.000 That's why I like running outside. 0.99

01:02:26.000 I don't like running. 0.99

01:02:27.000 I think running on a treadmill would be great if you had a fucking awesome movie in front of you. 0.99

01:02:31.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:02:31.000 Like say if you were watching Platoon and you're running on a treadmill and it's right in front of you or Apocalypse Now and you're listening to it. 0.97

01:02:36.000 Yeah.

01:02:37.000 Yeah, I mean, you can get into it.

01:02:38.000 But I like running outside because I know where I'm going, and that's part of the goal.

01:02:44.000 If I reach this peak, that means it's a mile, 1.6 miles, and then another 1.6 back.

01:02:51.000 Can you run farther in real life or in a treadmill?

01:02:53.000 I don't run on treadmills.

01:02:54.000 But if you had to, which one could you do?

01:02:57.000 Oh, way more on a treadmill.

01:02:57.000 You can.

01:02:58.000 Oh, for sure.

01:02:59.000 First of all, the way I run, I'm running all hills.

01:03:03.000 I don't really run flat.

01:03:05.000 When I'm running flat, it's for very short periods of time.

01:03:07.000 It's only flat in between hills. 0.99

01:03:09.000 Oh, I fucking hate hills. 1.00

01:03:11.000 They're terrible. 1.00

01:03:12.000 But here's the thing.

01:03:13.000 I kickboxed yesterday for the first time in months.

01:03:16.000 I hadn't done any pad work, any bag work, anything like that.

01:03:20.000 And I was going through rounds like it was nothing.

01:03:23.000 It was crazy.

01:03:24.000 Like, it was so different.

01:03:25.000 You do the cardio's better?

01:03:26.000 Oh, my cardio's way better.

01:03:28.000 Just from running these hills.

01:03:29.000 Because I do it, I'm committed to doing it twice a week.

01:03:33.000 I try to do it three times a week, but I'm committed to doing it twice a week.

01:03:36.000 So I did it today, and I did it Monday.

01:03:37.000 How long does it take you to run the hills?

01:03:39.000 An hour.

01:03:40.000 My workout's an hour.

01:03:41.000 Okay. 0.99

01:03:42.000 It's fucking brutal, dude. 0.99

01:03:43.000 At the end, I've lost several pounds of water. 0.99

01:03:46.000 I'm completely exhausted.

01:03:48.000 I'm drained.

01:03:48.000 But when I do other stuff, I have way more endurance.

01:03:53.000 And I feel great after.

01:03:54.000 Like right now, I'm so relaxed.

01:03:57.000 After that happens, you just feel so good.

01:04:00.000 You feel like regular life is just not as hard because the running is so difficult.

01:04:07.000 I should try that. 0.92

01:04:09.000 You know, I fucking hate running so much, but I'm so bored in the gym. 0.96

01:04:12.000 But you live in Manhattan. 0.98

01:04:13.000 Yeah, but there's still the park.

01:04:14.000 I mean, there's little places you could run there.

01:04:16.000 Yeah, but you're not running.

01:04:17.000 You know what you should do?

01:04:18.000 There's nothing wrong with that.

01:04:20.000 I mean, running is definitely a good thing as long as you're doing it the right way and running on the balls of your feet and not on the heel.

01:04:25.000 But try taking yoga.

01:04:28.000 You know, I like yoga. 0.99

01:04:29.000 I like women with yoga bodies, that fucking long, lean thorax. 1.00

01:04:34.000 That's a sexy look on a woman. 1.00

01:04:35.000 Thorax?

01:04:36.000 They just have like an insect body almost.

01:04:39.000 It's long and lean.

01:04:40.000 Like insects?

01:04:40.000 What's that?

01:04:41.000 Are you into bugs?

01:04:41.000 No, but that's the best way I can compare them.

01:04:44.000 I've had bugs on me.

01:04:45.000 I don't care for them.

01:04:47.000 Three times.

01:04:48.000 Are you a bug catcher? 0.99

01:04:50.000 No, those guys are crazy, man. 1.00

01:04:51.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:04:52.000 Yeah, they actually almost want it. 1.00

01:04:54.000 Yeah, they do want it.

01:04:55.000 They want it.

01:04:56.000 I think it's to relieve the pressure.

01:04:58.000 Tell people what we're talking about.

01:04:59.000 Bug catchers are guys. 0.93

01:05:00.000 I've only heard it being gay guys. 1.00

01:05:02.000 Maybe they're straight guys that do it, but they'll go out and fuck guys trying to catch HIV. Yeah, or let guys fuck them. 1.00

01:05:07.000 Let guys fuck them, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:05:08.000 I mean, let guys fuck them to catch HIV. They want it. 1.00

01:05:11.000 And I personally think it's because then the pressure is off.

01:05:16.000 That's my guess.

01:05:17.000 I don't comprehend it.

01:05:18.000 I think it's a self-hate thing.

01:05:19.000 Oh, maybe.

01:05:20.000 Yeah, I think it's the same reason why some people want to amputate their hands. 1.00

01:05:23.000 Some people are just nuts. 0.53

01:05:25.000 Yeah, that is kind of a nutty thing to do, to want to catch, you know, like, why? 0.76

01:05:29.000 I don't even want it now, even though I know that there's medicine that stops it.

01:05:32.000 Well, we were talking about this yesterday.

01:05:34.000 Why do people like fisting?

01:05:36.000 It's just to show that you're past what everybody else is thinking of as hardcore.

01:05:41.000 Like, I'll take a whole fist right up to the elbow. 1.00

01:05:43.000 Some women's pussies are weird, though, man. 1.00

01:05:45.000 I dated a girl, I used to fist. 1.00

01:05:48.000 I would fist her. 1.00

01:05:48.000 You dated a girl you used to fist? 1.00

01:05:50.000 I could never get all of it in.

01:05:51.000 I have little hands, too, but I would get the first four and part of my knuckle, and that would be our dirty talk. 0.92

01:05:57.000 She would go crazy when I would talk to her and tell her that what I'm going to do is I'm going to curl the thumb. 0.85

01:06:03.000 When I told her I was going to curl the thumb, she knew that the fist was going in. 1.00

01:06:06.000 She'd go fucking nuts. 1.00

01:06:08.000 Even if I was just talking dirty to her. 1.00

01:06:09.000 I would say, I'm going to curl the thumb, and she knew that man always putting his fucking five fingers in me. 1.00

01:06:14.000 What a nutty bitch. 1.00

01:06:15.000 Yeah, I could never get all of it in. 1.00

01:06:17.000 I would get it in like this, like a praying mantis.

01:06:20.000 Like you're poking, like a bird.

01:06:22.000 Yeah, where your thumb is touching the four curled...

01:06:25.000 It's cheating.

01:06:25.000 It's a cheating way to fist somebody.

01:06:27.000 I don't get it. 1.00

01:06:29.000 My asshole has zero ability to take more than a finger. 1.00

01:06:32.000 Woo! 1.00

01:06:32.000 Yeah, a whole fist. 1.00

01:06:34.000 There's a video that Nick Swartzen sent me and Whitney, we were talking about it yesterday, where there's a dude...

01:06:40.000 He's holding a dude up in front of him, like a backpack on the front. 0.99

01:06:45.000 The guy's around him, and he's got his fist all the way up to the elbow in this guy's ass. 0.99

01:06:49.000 And he just keeps pumping it up in there. 0.99

01:06:52.000 And he's holding the guy?

01:06:53.000 Yeah, he's holding him up.

01:06:54.000 He's got his arm wrapped around him, and then the other arm is just going in there.

01:06:58.000 Credit to both of those guys.

01:07:00.000 That's amazing.

01:07:01.000 They're pioneers, for sure.

01:07:03.000 That reminds me of Holding Up.

01:07:04.000 I was watching season two again of The Ultimate Fighter, and there's one thing where they do, like, how long, how many rotations around the heavyweight can, I think they were either a middleweight or a welterweight do, where he climbs on top of the heavyweight.

01:07:17.000 I've never seen that before.

01:07:19.000 And he was going around, like, how many different times can you go around this heavyweight's body without touching the ground?

01:07:25.000 I figured 10, 15... 0.96

01:07:27.000 I mean, it was fucking like a hundred or two hundred times that went around. 0.96

01:07:32.000 The ability to hold somebody else up is just... 0.97

01:07:34.000 But see, the thing about something like that is doing a contest like that, you got to realize that person's blown their body out for days after that.

01:07:41.000 If that's not something you're accustomed to and you're doing on a daily basis, That's like doing a chin-up contest, like David Goggins.

01:07:49.000 If you do that, don't plan on fighting in a week, because your arms are going to be blown out.

01:07:54.000 Your legs are going to be blown out. 1.00

01:07:56.000 You're going to get fucked up. 0.99

01:07:57.000 It's definitely a good skill to have, but doing something like that You could do it one time to find out what your max is, but don't plan on recovering from that anytime soon. 0.98

01:08:08.000 That's the thing about people and injuries.

01:08:10.000 One of the big problems with injuries with MMA fighters, jiu-jitsu people, a lot of people, is overtraining.

01:08:16.000 Meaning, you're not prepared for what you're doing.

01:08:19.000 I have a friend, my friend Cam Haynes runs a marathon a day.

01:08:23.000 He runs a marathon every day.

01:08:24.000 Well, he had to build up to that.

01:08:26.000 Wait, does he really?

01:08:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:08:27.000 He's training for this 238-mile MOAB race in October.

01:08:34.000 So if you're running 238 miles, his idea is he gets a marathon in every day.

01:08:40.000 So his body is just constantly used to this sort of stress.

01:08:43.000 But for him, it's not that big a deal.

01:08:45.000 Like, he'll run a marathon.

01:08:46.000 It's not a problem.

01:08:47.000 But if you tried to run a marathon every day, your body would break down.

01:08:52.000 You'd have some serious issues.

01:08:53.000 On the first day, I couldn't do it.

01:08:55.000 Yeah, but again, you might be able to do it.

01:08:58.000 It might be able to take you eight hours.

01:08:59.000 You might be able to get through it. 0.99

01:09:01.000 But you're going to be fucked up for a while. 0.67

01:09:03.000 But if you built up to it slowly over time, you could develop the kind of muscular endurance that allows you to do something like that. 0.98

01:09:10.000 You get conditioned to it.

01:09:12.000 So like doing something like that where you're doing like these rotations around someone or you're doing like how many times you climb to the top of a 30-foot rope, you know, someone's doing something like that. 0.98

01:09:20.000 If that's not something you do all the time and you just try to do it once like on a television show for funsies, you could fuck yourself up. 0.96

01:09:31.000 No, I'm listening.

01:09:31.000 Yeah, no, I'm just saying things along those lines like when you're trying to do as many as you can, anytime you're doing as many as you can, like how many bodyweight squats can you do?

01:09:41.000 Maybe a hundred, you know, like, okay, let's see if you can get to 500. Good luck walking for the last couple days if you try to do that.

01:09:48.000 I like a couple...

01:09:49.000 Now, this guy does chin-ups.

01:09:50.000 Does he do, like, the perfect military ones, probably?

01:09:52.000 If he's a Navy SEAL, I'm sure he'll wear his full body hang and then up. 0.99

01:09:55.000 Yeah, those kipping chin-ups are kind of bullshit. 0.99

01:09:57.000 What's a kipping chin-up? 1.00

01:09:58.000 Where they flop around like a fish, like...

01:10:00.000 Do you ever see the ones where they go, they lift up, and then they go higher, like where they pull their full body weight above?

01:10:06.000 Yeah.

01:10:07.000 Oh, those are awful.

01:10:07.000 It's called the muscle-up.

01:10:08.000 Oh, fuck that. 1.00

01:10:09.000 You just chin up and then you do a dip. 1.00

01:10:12.000 A lot of people think it's not the best functional exercise.

01:10:16.000 They think it looks cool and everything like that, but they don't believe it's a best functional exercise.

01:10:21.000 But the guys that can do that stuff.

01:10:22.000 I've looked at these guys that do these guys.

01:10:25.000 These guys are freaks.

01:10:26.000 These are outdoor guys where they work out outdoors and they can just do an endless amount of things outdoors.

01:10:32.000 They can hold the bar sideways.

01:10:34.000 Yeah, look at what this guy's doing.

01:10:36.000 He's just doing like chin-ups and dips and moving his body sideways.

01:10:40.000 It's incredible, the upper body strength.

01:10:42.000 Yeah, and control.

01:10:44.000 Yeah.

01:10:44.000 Not just the strength, but like the static control that he's able to do.

01:10:48.000 Oh my god, he's fucking, it looks like he's being blown in a hurricane. 0.97

01:10:51.000 Yeah, a lot of people do those. 1.00

01:10:53.000 Really?

01:10:53.000 They're called flagpoles.

01:10:54.000 Yeah.

01:10:54.000 Can you do that?

01:10:55.000 I've never done that.

01:10:56.000 Yeah.

01:10:56.000 Why am I saying that's surprising?

01:10:57.000 Of course I can't do it.

01:10:58.000 Yeah, it's not easy, but I can do it.

01:11:01.000 It's hard.

01:11:02.000 I can't do that.

01:11:03.000 I don't have that kind of balance.

01:11:05.000 Like that guy, he's doing like a dip to a handstand.

01:11:10.000 I can't do that.

01:11:11.000 In between two bars.

01:11:11.000 Yeah, and these guys, they all wear gloves, which I find interesting.

01:11:14.000 I guess they do that because the bars get sweaty.

01:11:17.000 Yeah, you don't want to slip and it probably fucks your hands up.

01:11:19.000 Yeah.

01:11:21.000 I used to wear little fingerless gloves when I worked out just to keep my hands...

01:11:24.000 I'm like Curly from Mice and Men.

01:11:25.000 Like Dice.

01:11:26.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:11:27.000 Keep my hands smooth and soft.

01:11:28.000 Dice wears those because he doesn't want to shake hands with people.

01:11:30.000 Oh, please.

01:11:31.000 I was on the road with Dice.

01:11:32.000 Here's what Dice would do. 0.89

01:11:32.000 When someone would come over, he curls his... 0.89

01:11:34.000 He has a fingerless glove. 0.98

01:11:35.000 He'll curl his fingers into the glove and give them a fist to shake the fucking worst handshakes ever. 1.00

01:11:42.000 He's so crazy. 0.99

01:11:43.000 He hated shaking hands with people. 0.99

01:11:46.000 And he would go and wash his hands.

01:11:47.000 I remember one time we were out to eat, and some guy, he washed his hands, and a guy came over and shook his hand, and I just went, ugh!

01:11:51.000 And then got up and had to go to the bathroom again. 0.95

01:11:53.000 It's so funny that he's just, he's such a pig on stage, but he hates germs. 1.00

01:11:57.000 He likes fucking honey and his tea. 1.00

01:11:59.000 He's just a big mama's boy. 1.00

01:12:00.000 He likes to be comforted.

01:12:01.000 Yeah.

01:12:02.000 He's a very interesting guy, Dice.

01:12:04.000 And he's also, in a lot of ways, a pioneer.

01:12:07.000 Because he was one of the very first ever superstar stadium comedians.

01:12:12.000 Yes, he was.

01:12:13.000 There was no one like that.

01:12:14.000 Even Kinnison never hit that level before.

01:12:16.000 Steve Martin, I think, at one point had that.

01:12:20.000 And he had a tremendous mystique to him, too.

01:12:22.000 Steve Martin was the biggest comic in the world for a long time.

01:12:25.000 For sure.

01:12:25.000 But Dice had this thing where he came out like a fist and just punched through everything.

01:12:30.000 No one saw him coming.

01:12:31.000 There was no SNL. It was just this fucking animal. 1.00

01:12:34.000 I remember the first time I saw Andrew Dice Clay. 1.00

01:12:37.000 I was with a girl named Melanie.

01:12:38.000 No, no. 0.99

01:12:39.000 What the fuck her name was? 1.00

01:12:40.000 Michelle. 1.00

01:12:41.000 My girlfriend.

01:12:41.000 I was 18. I was at her house.

01:12:43.000 And she said, come in here. 0.97

01:12:44.000 This guy's so dirty.

01:12:47.000 I remember the first time I played Dice cassette to this girl that I was dating. 0.95

01:12:59.000 Her name was Marta.

01:13:00.000 She was from Nicaragua.

01:13:02.000 And we were in my car.

01:13:04.000 I think I was like...

01:13:06.000 I think I was 19. And we were sitting in my car playing this Dice Clay thing, fucking howling, laughing. 0.99

01:13:13.000 I couldn't believe how dirty it was and how funny it was. 0.99

01:13:17.000 It was dirty and it was funny.

01:13:19.000 Do you ever have Florentine on?

01:13:21.000 No.

01:13:21.000 Oh yeah, have I had Jim on?

01:13:23.000 I feel like I have.

01:13:24.000 Yes, I have. 0.85

01:13:25.000 Jim Florentine is hilarious, and what he used to do is he'd make his girlfriend mixtapes of all these romantic songs, and he would put fucking bits from The Day the Laughter Died, and The Day the Laughter Died in just a line or two. 0.99

01:13:36.000 He'd play a really nice song, and then, I want to eat your cunt in a big red chair, and then a nice song. 0.99

01:13:42.000 You're about as funny as a glass of milk. 1.00

01:13:45.000 Dude, my favorite heck of line ever.

01:13:47.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:13:48.000 Oh, because Dice had been talking about drinking milk and slipping on it like it's cum. 0.98

01:13:52.000 People are slipping like it's somebody's load. 0.96

01:13:54.000 And the guy's so mad at the audience, he can't grasp what to say.

01:13:57.000 So he goes, you're about as funny as a bottle of milk!

01:13:59.000 Because he just used what Dice had just said on stage.

01:14:02.000 Well, we explained to people, the day the laughter died was when Dice was on top of the world.

01:14:07.000 He decided to record at Dangerfields unannounced.

01:14:11.000 So Dangerfields...

01:14:13.000 In New York has historically been like a poorly attended club.

01:14:18.000 Sure.

01:14:18.000 Like, we would do shows there.

01:14:20.000 This is how poorly attended it is.

01:14:21.000 I did a show there once where I think my spot was probably like at 9 o'clock, and I got there at 8.30, and there was just a couple of comics hanging out at the bar.

01:14:30.000 I was like, what's going on?

01:14:32.000 And they go, no one's here yet.

01:14:33.000 And I go, what?

01:14:35.000 No one's here.

01:14:35.000 There's no audience.

01:14:36.000 So two people showed up, a couple.

01:14:38.000 They said, we're here to show.

01:14:40.000 And you remember Scotty, the big guy, the big Irish guy?

01:14:43.000 Bobby.

01:14:44.000 Bobby, rather.

01:14:44.000 Bobby, I didn't know.

01:14:46.000 Bobby was Scotty.

01:14:47.000 I'm sorry.

01:14:48.000 Bobby was like, right this way, ladies and gentlemen.

01:14:50.000 And he brought these people into an empty room.

01:14:52.000 And they're like, what?

01:14:53.000 Yeah.

01:14:53.000 And they sat them down and then the MC went up.

01:14:56.000 So they started the show a half hour late because that was the first time people showed up. 0.99

01:14:59.000 And we all did sets for two fucking people. 0.99

01:15:03.000 I've done those, yep. 0.99

01:15:04.000 It was really weird.

01:15:05.000 So Dice decides to record his album there, unannounced, with no material.

01:15:13.000 He had no preparation.

01:15:14.000 He just winged it.

01:15:16.000 The entire thing.

01:15:17.000 And it's both brilliant and terrible at the same time. 0.98

01:15:21.000 It's a two CD thing because he was up there for fucking hours. 0.96

01:15:24.000 He did three nights. 0.99

01:15:25.000 He did fucking three nights. 0.99

01:15:30.000 And he was up there. 0.99

01:15:31.000 Well, that's Dice at Dangerfield's from the special.

01:15:35.000 That's when he did Rodney Dangerfield's special.

01:15:38.000 You know Kenny toured with him.

01:15:39.000 No, no.

01:15:40.000 He was on Rodney Dangerfield's HBO special.

01:15:42.000 That's how he broke.

01:15:43.000 And then he came back and did The Day the Laughter Died.

01:15:47.000 But I don't think there's any pictures of it.

01:15:48.000 1990. Yeah, there's no video of that.

01:15:50.000 Club Soda Kenny was with him when he did those CDs.

01:15:53.000 I'm so jealous that he got to watch those tapings.

01:15:56.000 Well, Kenny was like his bodyguard or something, right?

01:15:58.000 Road manager, bodyguard.

01:16:00.000 When I first started touring with Dice, it was like 1997, and it was Kenny was the road manager and a bodyguard.

01:16:06.000 Is that Rodney and Fabio?

01:16:07.000 Wow. 1.00

01:16:07.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

01:16:08.000 Is that Fabio? 1.00

01:16:09.000 Who's that?

01:16:10.000 That's Fabio.

01:16:11.000 That's Rodney's wife. 1.00

01:16:11.000 We're getting married, I guess. 1.00

01:16:12.000 Is that Rodney's wife?

01:16:13.000 Or no, is that Fabio getting married?

01:16:15.000 Someone's getting married.

01:16:16.000 Fabio can't get married with his shirt open like that.

01:16:18.000 That's a good point.

01:16:19.000 That's outrageous. 0.96

01:16:20.000 So that day the laughter died for comedians, there was a guy named Mike Donovan, who's a Boston comedy legend, a fucking hilarious, hilarious comedian. 0.92

01:16:28.000 And he is the one who told me about the day the laughter died, didn't he? 0.99

01:16:31.000 We were at the back of the Comedy Connection, and he was just laughing until he was crying, talking about Dice doing an impression of Nixon while he's eating ass. 1.00

01:16:39.000 I'll do Nixon in that ass! 1.00

01:16:42.000 I'm not a crook! 1.00

01:16:44.000 Give me that big fat fucking ass! 1.00

01:16:46.000 I mean he was doing a Nixon impression while he's eating ass and for whatever reason Mike Donovan thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard in his life. 1.00

01:16:55.000 He's just crying laughing. 0.83

01:16:56.000 It's like this is a brilliant, brilliant album.

01:16:59.000 It is.

01:16:59.000 Rick Rubin produced those albums.

01:17:00.000 Yeah.

01:17:01.000 Or that album.

01:17:02.000 Yeah.

01:17:02.000 And it's an odd masterpiece.

01:17:05.000 It's beautiful that he did that because there is a flow to it, but it's the greatest watching a comic's mind just fucking randomly bounce from joke to joke to bomb to joke and just really exploring and grabbing for shit. 0.93

01:17:19.000 Yeah, and there's no material preparation. 0.97

01:17:22.000 None.

01:17:22.000 You can tell.

01:17:23.000 You can tell he's just totally ad-libbing.

01:17:30.000 Yeah, that's the album cover.

01:17:31.000 That's right.

01:17:31.000 I remember getting it and listening to it and being so, look at that, cassette one.

01:17:36.000 Yeah.

01:17:37.000 And people who didn't know, there was also people who didn't like it.

01:17:40.000 No, I hated it. 0.92

01:17:41.000 They're like, this sucks, what is this?

01:17:42.000 But Chris Rock was at the cellar one night, and I forget how, and he goes, the best comedy album ever, or one of them, he said, I'll have to die by Angela. 0.52

01:17:50.000 Yeah, but that's also the best comedy album for him.

01:17:53.000 Because he's a comic.

01:17:54.000 Yes. 0.99

01:17:55.000 He thinks it's hilarious that this guy just went up there and just had no fucking, no preparation whatsoever. 0.98

01:18:01.000 I've laughed harder at Richard Pryor albums than I did at that. 0.96

01:18:03.000 They're better comedy records.

01:18:05.000 But as far as being a pure thing to show what comics do sometimes to work stuff out, he literally, like you said, top of his game. 0.92

01:18:11.000 He was fucking 1990 or 91. And he probably sold a million copies of that, too.

01:18:15.000 Yeah, to fucking 800,000 unhappy people. 0.97

01:18:18.000 LAUGHTER I mean, he even called it the day the laughter died. 1.00

01:18:24.000 He didn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:18:25.000 He would go up sometimes and literally like to see how long he could go without getting a laugh in clubs. 1.00

01:18:30.000 He would just fuck around and see how long he could go and not get a laugh. 0.97

01:18:35.000 My favorite dice is insult dice. 0.99

01:18:37.000 When you find someone in the audience and go, look at you.

01:18:40.000 Look at you. 1.00

01:18:41.000 Look at your fucking hair. 1.00

01:18:45.000 Just dig in on people and they wouldn't know whether to laugh or be upset and it would be like it was almost angry at them for being alive. 1.00

01:18:53.000 He described women's tits and he goes, look at those big fat fucking motherfucking fat fucking tits. 1.00

01:19:00.000 And it was really dirty, but I'm like, my God, that's emotionally the best description of tits. 1.00

01:19:06.000 If they're big ones. 0.99

01:19:07.000 That's how you feel though. 1.00

01:19:09.000 You can't get the words that will describe the lust of big breasts more than fat fucking motherfucking fat fucking. 1.00

01:19:16.000 There was something so guttural about that. 1.00

01:19:17.000 I'm like, that's the greatest description of tits anybody's ever given as far as emotionally for a guy.

01:19:22.000 Well, you know what Dice did, too, that nobody else had ever done before or since, is he created punchlines that everybody wanted to repeat.

01:19:29.000 Yes.

01:19:30.000 Those rhymes.

01:19:31.000 Amazing. 1.00

01:19:31.000 People wanted to repeat, what's in the bowl, bitch? 1.00

01:19:34.000 Like, he would point the microphone to the audience, and they knew the punchline, and they would yell it out and cheer. 0.99

01:19:40.000 Yeah.

01:19:41.000 You remember in Day to Laugh to Die, they tried doing a poem. 1.00

01:19:43.000 He goes, no, stupid. 1.00

01:19:44.000 Ha! 1.00

01:19:45.000 I ain't doing the poems.

01:19:46.000 No poems.

01:19:47.000 Yeah, yeah, no poems.

01:19:49.000 Not even, hey, I'm not doing that.

01:19:51.000 Like Robin Williams did in the album called Reality With A Concept, which was the first dirty album I ever had, was Robin Williams' Reality With A Concept before or even prior.

01:20:00.000 And somebody yelled out, Mork.

01:20:02.000 And Robin goes, I'm not doing Mork.

01:20:04.000 I'm here to do something different.

01:20:05.000 He did it nicely and people clapped, but he didn't go, no.

01:20:09.000 No.

01:20:11.000 Like, with Dice, they hated him that night, and they're just trying to connect.

01:20:15.000 Like, we'd love a poem, and he could've got them. 1.00

01:20:17.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:20:18.000 He's not getting a poem. 1.00

01:20:20.000 They almost were being punked. 0.99

01:20:23.000 Like, they were there for a comedy show, and the most famous comic alive at the time came up and just ate dick for three hours. 1.00

01:20:29.000 He ate dick for three fucking hours for over a three-night period. 1.00

01:20:33.000 It's a nine-hour fucking ball munching. 1.00

01:20:36.000 But he also, you know, it's funny, Dice changed the language. 0.99

01:20:39.000 People are like, when did political correctness start?

01:20:41.000 If you look back to when it really kicked in, they were so disgusted and angry at Dice.

01:20:49.000 That was what kicked political correctness.

01:20:50.000 Plus, you know, the internet was really kicking in.

01:20:52.000 There's a lot of factors, but Dice is the one.

01:20:55.000 He was the straw that broke the calendar. 0.97

01:20:57.000 People are like, I can't fucking take it anymore. 0.95

01:20:59.000 We have to stop talking this way. 0.97

01:21:00.000 Well, he went on MTV. Remember?

01:21:04.000 He did a bunch of jokes that they didn't approve, and they banned him from MTV for life. 0.99

01:21:10.000 Meanwhile, today, that's a goddamn badge of honor. 0.95

01:21:15.000 Nobody wants to be on MTV now. 0.99

01:21:17.000 But back then, it was like, holy shit, they banned him from MTV? Kinnison criticized him for that? 0.92

01:21:22.000 Yeah.

01:21:22.000 He went out, and Kurt Loder was on TV talking about how unfunny, terrible unfunny period jokes.

01:21:29.000 You know, it's like, but it was this air of like pompousness, like when he was talking about this, like this progressive, you know, Kurt Loder type character who was always like the guy who told you about the amazing cool new bands, was telling you that Dice is just terrible and unfunny and he'll never be on MTV again.

01:21:48.000 And I remember thinking that, like, whoa, they banned him from Saturday Night Live.

01:21:51.000 They banned him from MTV. He didn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:21:56.000 Well, Kenny, again, Kenny told me that the guy... 0.99

01:21:59.000 Andrew may have told me this, too.

01:22:01.000 But before he went out, he was thinking of doing it.

01:22:03.000 There might have been...

01:22:05.000 Who's the guy, Johnny...

01:22:07.000 The other Johnny he had with him, whose name I don't remember. 0.99

01:22:11.000 Fucking... 0.99

01:22:12.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:22:12.000 You know who I'm... 1.00

01:22:13.000 It's the Johnny that he traveled with for years.

01:22:15.000 Is there a possible...

01:22:16.000 Not Noodles...

01:22:18.000 I don't know.

01:22:19.000 Something Johnny.

01:22:20.000 Okay.

01:22:21.000 But he said to Dice, do you want to be a teardrop or a tidal wave? 0.97

01:22:25.000 Which I thought was such a great fucking piece of advice to give someone before he went out on live television with that dilemma. 0.92

01:22:33.000 Well now, I mean, now that it's all the dust has been settled. 0.98

01:22:38.000 Who?

01:22:38.000 West.

01:22:38.000 Johnny West.

01:22:39.000 What was his nickname though?

01:22:40.000 Hot Tub Johnny.

01:22:41.000 Jesus.

01:22:42.000 I never met him.

01:22:43.000 Was he a comic?

01:22:44.000 I don't know.

01:22:45.000 He was Dice's guy.

01:22:46.000 He wrote with Dice.

01:22:47.000 He toured with him.

01:22:47.000 I think he was the road manager at one point.

01:22:49.000 But I never met Hot Tub.

01:22:50.000 Kenny was there when I came in in 1997. But that was the name.

01:22:54.000 I'm fucking forgetting shit, man. 1.00

01:22:55.000 Well, just like Slick Rick, shit happens. 1.00

01:22:58.000 Yeah, it does. 1.00

01:22:59.000 Well, you have too many experiences.

01:23:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:02.000 You know, like you talk to someone who lives in a small town about a small town and the stuff that he does in that town, that motherfucker can remember everything. 0.99

01:23:09.000 You're right. 0.99

01:23:10.000 But talk to a guy who travels the world and does stand-up and takes pills to stop getting AIDS. Boy, does he.

01:23:16.000 What a sigh of relief. 0.99

01:23:17.000 I was fucking, I'll tell you one of the most nervous I've ever been was when I took the, just to digress for a second, was to take the, I was so convinced I had HIV, and I fucking took this oral test that you can get from CVS. And there's a weird thing where you just, they said it's like a good up until the last three months. 0.96

01:23:34.000 It's like in the high 90% accurate. 0.99

01:23:35.000 Not 100%, but it's a good precursor to the fucking blood. 0.96

01:23:39.000 So I did it, and you rub it on your gums once each, and then you put it in this folding, almost like a trapper keeper, and you close it. 0.98

01:23:48.000 And they said what happens is there's a red line, and if there's two red lines, you're positive.

01:23:53.000 The one red line stays there, and they said do not watch the progress, because it'll freak you out.

01:24:00.000 Don't watch it.

01:24:01.000 Of course you watch it.

01:24:02.000 Only for a second, because I literally thought I saw the beginning of a second line, and I remember closing it, and I'm like, I have HIV. I was fucking convinced. 0.99

01:24:13.000 I remember where I went. 1.00

01:24:14.000 I went down to the fucking store, bought a couple of RX bars. 0.99

01:24:17.000 I'm like, I'm just going to have a nice fucking protein bar and go back in 20 minutes, whatever it was. 0.99

01:24:22.000 I had to photograph it. 0.98

01:24:24.000 I couldn't believe that I was negative.

01:24:25.000 But I came back and it was clear.

01:24:26.000 I was 100% convinced I had HIV. Wow.

01:24:29.000 Scary, man.

01:24:31.000 Well, anytime there's something like that where you don't know if you have it, and if you do have it, it's a death sentence.

01:24:36.000 It wasn't even that I thought I was dying, because now there's so many...

01:24:39.000 This is recently.

01:24:39.000 This is probably three months ago.

01:24:40.000 There's so many medications you can take.

01:24:42.000 Right. 1.00

01:24:43.000 But it's the idea of having to tell a partner, and like, who's going to want to fuck you with that? 0.99

01:24:47.000 Like, that's just a rough one. 0.99

01:24:48.000 You know what I mean?

01:24:49.000 I'm dating someone.

01:24:50.000 I'm going to tell her.

01:24:51.000 Well, how did Charlie Sheen get it?

01:24:53.000 I don't know.

01:24:53.000 And if you notice, that was the question that Matt Lauer, I don't believe, asked.

01:24:59.000 I don't think they got into it.

01:25:00.000 So I don't know.

01:25:01.000 Yeah, so Matt Lauer and him talked because he was getting blackmailed.

01:25:05.000 Yes, he was.

01:25:06.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:25:07.000 And there's a shit ton of lawsuits because he had unprotected sex without telling a bunch of people that he had it. 0.96

01:25:13.000 That's crazy. 0.98

01:25:14.000 I mean, that's crazy.

01:25:16.000 Even if you're down to zero, then you've still got to tell them.

01:25:19.000 You have to tell someone.

01:25:20.000 Down to zero, T-cell count problems.

01:25:21.000 Where it's not visible, because they can knock it down to where it's undetectable, and I really do think you can't pass it then, because there are drugs that you won't be able to pass it, and PrEP, you won't be able to get it.

01:25:31.000 But I still think you're obligated to say it.

01:25:33.000 You're obligated to say it, and then you let that person make the decision.

01:25:37.000 Right.

01:25:37.000 You can't make that decision for them.

01:25:40.000 Yeah, no, for sure.

01:25:41.000 But I mean, this is all cocaine party thinking.

01:25:45.000 I mean, everyone's just having terrible judgment.

01:25:48.000 Yeah, I imagine there was quite a bit of naughty behavior in the Sheen residence.

01:25:51.000 I mean, the guy was doing tremendous amounts of blow.

01:25:54.000 Like, they would talk about him doing blow that would kill a normal-sized person.

01:25:57.000 I heard somebody, too.

01:25:58.000 What I heard about the blackmail, and I really wish I knew who was blackmailed, but I don't, was that somebody got a picture of medication in his medicine cabinet. 1.00

01:26:07.000 I heard there was a video of him sucking a guy's dick. 1.00

01:26:10.000 I've heard that, too. 1.00

01:26:12.000 I've heard that, but I don't know if it's true.

01:26:14.000 I mean, you figure he probably didn't know that video was being taken.

01:26:15.000 You hope that was taken, you know, without him knowing.

01:26:17.000 Well, who knows?

01:26:18.000 Maybe when you're coked up, you're like, Dad, film it!

01:26:20.000 Let's do it!

01:26:21.000 Let's do it! 1.00

01:26:21.000 I'm sucking dick! 1.00

01:26:23.000 You know, who knows? 1.00

01:26:25.000 When you have kids, that's rough. 1.00

01:26:26.000 I mean, otherwise, who cares if you suck the dick? 1.00

01:26:28.000 Who gives a fuck? 1.00

01:26:29.000 I mean, you're great in Platoon. 1.00

01:26:30.000 Give a shit. 1.00

01:26:31.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:26:32.000 It gives a fuck. 0.99

01:26:32.000 Major League. 0.99

01:26:33.000 Believe me, a very unsung film.

01:26:36.000 And Wall Street.

01:26:37.000 It was good in it.

01:26:38.000 It was very good in Wall Street.

01:26:39.000 Him and Martin Sheen together? 1.00

01:26:40.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:26:41.000 Crazy. 1.00

01:26:41.000 I think that at a certain point in time when you're doing that kind of drugs, like you're doing crazy disassociative Piles of blow and you're fucking, you don't know where the fuck you are. 1.00

01:26:53.000 You're freaking out. 0.99

01:26:53.000 You're constantly paranoid. 0.99

01:26:54.000 They said his teeth were rotten out of his head.

01:26:56.000 It looked like a few pictures and his teeth did not look like they were in an amazing shape.

01:27:00.000 Sheen also doesn't know how he contracted the virus, but told Lauer it had nothing to do with needles.

01:27:05.000 Oh, well then he does have a good idea.

01:27:08.000 Well, how could he say it?

01:27:09.000 Well, it means he maybe had nothing.

01:27:11.000 He never did anything with needles.

01:27:13.000 Rumors about the actor's health recently emerged in the tabloid press.

01:27:17.000 So where's he at now? 0.92

01:27:19.000 He's kind of fucking radio dark. 0.96

01:27:22.000 No, no, he just did a film. 0.99

01:27:23.000 He did a film about 9-11, about people trapped in an elevator.

01:27:26.000 And they said, well, you know, he had some conspiracy theories they shouldn't have cast. 0.99

01:27:29.000 Who gives a fuck? 0.99

01:27:30.000 It's a movie. 0.98

01:27:31.000 None of these people are dead.

01:27:32.000 They're alive.

01:27:32.000 They just did a movie.

01:27:33.000 Well, do you remember he wrote an open letter to President Obama?

01:27:36.000 He's a big fan of Alex Jones, and a friend of Alex Jones.

01:27:43.000 Alex Jones called me up, hey man, Gary Busey wants to talk to you! 0.99

01:27:47.000 And he gave the phone to fucking Gary Busey, and Gary Busey talked to me, and he's like, I mean, Gary Busey's completely out of his fucking mind. 0.98

01:27:55.000 But Gary Busey has an excuse. 0.99

01:27:57.000 Gary Busey got in a motorcycle accident with no helmet and caved his head in, like, real bad.

01:28:02.000 That's why Gary Busey, when you look at him, one eye is up here.

01:28:04.000 He's got that Shannon Doherty thing going on.

01:28:07.000 One eye is down here, one eye is up there.

01:28:09.000 It's because his literal skull was destroyed in a motorcycle accident. 1.00

01:28:13.000 He hit a fucking curb with his head. 1.00

01:28:15.000 That's right. 1.00

01:28:18.000 Yeah, and see, in that picture, if his eyebrows are up, it makes it look like he's okay.

01:28:23.000 But I'm gonna guess the one on our right, his left, is the one that droops?

01:28:26.000 Yes.

01:28:27.000 That's what it looks like.

01:28:28.000 His left is Jack.

01:28:28.000 But we've had him in a couple times.

01:28:30.000 When he came back in, he remembered my name.

01:28:31.000 I thought, like, he's loopy, but he's not, like, out of it.

01:28:36.000 Hello, Jimmy.

01:28:37.000 Yeah, he knew.

01:28:37.000 I mean, he wasn't...

01:28:39.000 He's a little nutty, but he's always been a little nutty. 0.93

01:28:41.000 But he remembers lines. 0.96

01:28:42.000 He can act...

01:28:43.000 Yeah, see how his right eyebrow's up?

01:28:45.000 Yeah.

01:28:46.000 Right eye is up and the left one's down.

01:28:48.000 Yeah, he had a significant brain injury.

01:28:52.000 Yeah.

01:28:53.000 Yeah, there it is.

01:28:54.000 Oh, yeah, you're right.

01:28:55.000 Before that accident, he was a pretty normal guy.

01:28:59.000 He has that injury eye. 0.99

01:29:00.000 That's fucking, the way they call it, TBIs, a traumatic brain, that fucking wide-open look that you get. 1.00

01:29:05.000 When you see guys with both eyes like that, they're fucking cooked. 0.99

01:29:07.000 Well, there's a little bit of that, but I believe there's structural damage to his actual skull itself. 0.99

01:29:11.000 I think, I'm almost positive that he hit the curb without a helmet, is when L.A. didn't have helmet laws, and he wiped out And curbed his fucking brain and was lucky to be alive, if I remember correctly. 0.93

01:29:26.000 Yeah, I don't remember when that was, but... 1.00

01:29:27.000 Ooh, fuck motorcycles, man. 1.00

01:29:29.000 They scare me. 1.00

01:29:30.000 There's a website I go to, I watch a lot of terrible things that I shouldn't watch, but I've fucking seen these. 0.95

01:29:36.000 Motorcycle accidents, I'll always watch in car accidents, because that really does remind me to drive safe. 0.98

01:29:41.000 Like, you can't control everything, but when I see a guy burning to death in a car or fucking cut in half, I'm like... 0.95

01:29:47.000 Maybe it's not his fault. 0.99

01:29:48.000 Oh, yeah, he went under a tractor trailer.

01:29:50.000 He was texting and driving and that's what it looks like. 0.99

01:29:53.000 Don't fucking do it. 0.99

01:29:54.000 So I'm really really cautious when I drive. 0.99

01:29:56.000 By the way, we drove in your Porsche when we did the fight campaign, and I was like, wow, you're a responsible Porsche driver.

01:30:02.000 Like, you don't drive like an animal at all.

01:30:04.000 No. 1.00

01:30:04.000 You know, you're pretty much around the limit, maybe a little over, but you aren't a fucking maniac. 1.00

01:30:08.000 No, I don't drive fast. 0.97

01:30:09.000 I would never drive fast with a friend in the car either.

01:30:11.000 I'm not a dickhead driver.

01:30:13.000 I'll occasionally have dickhead moments, very rare when no one's around.

01:30:17.000 But I don't put anybody else in danger.

01:30:19.000 I don't believe in driving like that.

01:30:21.000 No, it was a delightful drive.

01:30:23.000 It was not frightening at all.

01:30:24.000 It was comfortable.

01:30:25.000 Did you get nervous when you got in the car?

01:30:26.000 No, I've driven with you before, but if I didn't know you, I might.

01:30:29.000 But just having a Porsche is just known as somebody who's going to move.

01:30:33.000 That car in particular, because it's so loud and so bouncy and But I figured you had a lot more to lose than I do, so I figured you'd be driving safe.

01:30:42.000 You don't want to drive with a guy who has nothing. 0.54

01:30:44.000 Like, how you doing? 0.97

01:30:45.000 Ah, I just lost my fucking house, and I got no gig, and then he's driving home. 0.99

01:30:48.000 And I got HIV. I got two red lines. 1.00

01:30:50.000 Let's do it!

01:30:51.000 Get in the car!

01:30:52.000 Get in the car, Norton!

01:30:53.000 I just put a new engine in. 0.99

01:30:54.000 So yeah, you want to go with a guy who's got a little shit more to lose than you do. 0.98

01:30:58.000 But it was a safe, comfortable ride. 0.94

01:30:59.000 I like those cars because they're light, and they're responsive, and it's like riding a ride, like a Disneyland ride everywhere you go.

01:31:05.000 It doesn't, I don't like, I don't want, it's like people, how fast have you ever gotten it to?

01:31:10.000 I've never gotten it that fast.

01:31:11.000 I don't drive that fast.

01:31:12.000 I don't, I'm not, I like cornering.

01:31:14.000 Like I'm into cars that like grip and feel good when you're connected to the machine.

01:31:21.000 BMWs drive like that, don't they? 1.00

01:31:22.000 Sure, yeah.

01:31:23.000 I had one.

01:31:24.000 The wheel is kind of stiff, and they said that's because it's high performance.

01:31:28.000 It grips the road.

01:31:28.000 Well, they have a bunch of different settings you could put on a BMW, especially the M cars.

01:31:32.000 You can vary the stiffness of the steering because they're electronic power assist.

01:31:40.000 But if you want a car that looks like really responsive that's a BMW, they have an M2. It's a tiny little car.

01:31:46.000 It's like one of their least expensive M cars, but most enthusiasts think it's their best one.

01:31:52.000 I don't remember.

01:31:53.000 I've driven.

01:31:54.000 I had the X6. I drove like three in a row.

01:31:56.000 That's a great car.

01:31:56.000 I was leasing them.

01:31:57.000 They were really big cars, and I was like, I kind of wanted to...

01:32:01.000 I leased a Mercedes.

01:32:01.000 It was a lot cheaper.

01:32:02.000 I've never driven a Mercedes. 1.00

01:32:03.000 I'm like, fuck it. 1.00

01:32:04.000 Mercedes were cheaper? 1.00

01:32:05.000 This was a much cheaper.

01:32:06.000 Like, uh...

01:32:07.000 Much cheaper.

01:32:08.000 The BMWs are just too big.

01:32:09.000 I live in the city.

01:32:10.000 I have a car because I like to drive.

01:32:11.000 But for what?

01:32:12.000 You know what? 1.00

01:32:13.000 My addiction, I kept that because years ago, I would ride around and look at fucking hookers. 1.00

01:32:18.000 So you had a car for hookers? 1.00

01:32:19.000 Yes. 0.99

01:32:19.000 That was why. 0.99

01:32:20.000 I did.

01:32:22.000 That's hilarious.

01:32:23.000 But I might even do that now.

01:32:25.000 I'm totally out of that.

01:32:26.000 The actual cruising?

01:32:27.000 No, the paying people.

01:32:29.000 Yeah?

01:32:29.000 Yeah.

01:32:30.000 I pay pal for dirty videos sometimes and movies of girls who are doing things. 1.00

01:32:34.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:32:34.000 But just paying for sex, the sex trafficking shit just freaked me out too much. 1.00

01:32:38.000 Oh, that's awful. 1.00

01:32:39.000 It freaked me out too much.

01:32:40.000 You know, I'm all for consensual women. 1.00

01:32:43.000 I talked to a woman once who was...

01:32:46.000 I guess you could say she was an escort. 1.00

01:32:49.000 She had done porn. 0.93

01:32:51.000 And she stopped doing porn, and she said, the way she said it, she said she had clients.

01:32:56.000 And I was like, well, how does that work?

01:32:58.000 And she's like, well, off the record. 0.87

01:33:01.000 There's a bunch of guys that I've had sex with in the past, and I like them, and they pay me, and I'll go over there, and it's almost like people I really like, and I have sex with them. 0.89

01:33:11.000 And I say, like, how many times a week? 0.71

01:33:12.000 She goes, I only need to do it a few times a week, and I pay my bills.

01:33:15.000 You know, girls like that, after I stopped going on certain sites, girls like that who I knew, it was important to me, like, I knew their lives.

01:33:23.000 Like, I knew who they were, I knew their real names.

01:33:24.000 Excuse me, I knew their Facebook.

01:33:26.000 Like, you know what a person's life is.

01:33:28.000 And they're just choosing to do this on the side, because A, you have a chemistry with them and they like you, and B, some of them are just dirty.

01:33:34.000 I've met plenty of people that are just dirty and enjoy it. 0.97

01:33:36.000 Well, I didn't know her too well, and I didn't ask too many questions, but from what she was saying, It's essentially like, you know, she had done porn, she didn't want to do porn anymore, and she didn't want to be just a quote-unquote hooker, but she had a few guys that wanted to have sex and would be willing to pay her, 0.99

01:33:53.000 and I guess they would pay her a couple thousand bucks, and she would just have sex with these guys a couple times a week, different guys, and she'd make four or five thousand dollars a week, and she wouldn't have to worry about shit, and she could do whatever she wanted to do for as long as her body holds up. 1.00

01:34:05.000 Sure. 0.98

01:34:06.000 When I talked to her, this was quite a long time ago, I think she was probably like 36 or 37 at the time.

01:34:11.000 So it's like, maybe she can't do that anymore. 0.94

01:34:14.000 Maybe now she's 46, 47, or 50, and maybe dudes are like, how much?

01:34:18.000 They try to find an older sugar daddy, I think, or a guy that they've seen.

01:34:21.000 That's where they start.

01:34:22.000 That's probably when they want to wife up, too. 1.00

01:34:23.000 Like when you're...

01:34:24.000 Yeah, but that's a hard thing for men.

01:34:26.000 Like, a lot of men do not want to shack up with a chick that had sex for money, you know? 0.91

01:34:31.000 I don't mind it.

01:34:32.000 Like, I don't want them doing it when I'm with them, but I like somebody with a past. 0.98

01:34:35.000 I really need it because my past is so fucked up, I much prefer yours is, too. 0.99

01:34:39.000 What the fuck is this, Jamie? 1.00

01:34:41.000 The Korean grandmothers who sell sex. 1.00

01:34:42.000 How do you pull these up so quick? 0.90

01:34:45.000 What do you have on tab?

01:34:47.000 Like, what's wrong with you?

01:34:48.000 I saw this story the other day.

01:34:50.000 I don't remember.

01:34:51.000 There's a video about the...

01:34:52.000 It's called Bacchus, ladies, I believe.

01:34:53.000 It's a drink called Bacchus.

01:34:55.000 So they walk around selling the Bacchus as an energy drink to...

01:34:59.000 They're like 40 and 50-year-old women, but now their elderly women are doing it, too. 1.00

01:35:04.000 And so you buy the drink, but you're buying sex is what you're going to buy. 0.96

01:35:07.000 Oh, my God.

01:35:08.000 What?

01:35:08.000 That's what it says.

01:35:09.000 I don't understand what that means.

01:35:09.000 It's a way around the loophole of prostitution.

01:35:11.000 Yeah, it's a loophole of prostitution. 1.00

01:35:12.000 Like, you buy this drink and I'll give you sex. 1.00

01:35:14.000 They're like street vendors with energy drinks, but when you buy it from them, you're really saying, hey, come with me somewhere, I guess. 0.94

01:35:20.000 What?

01:35:20.000 Where is this happening?

01:35:21.000 South Korea?

01:35:22.000 Yeah, South Korea.

01:35:23.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:35:23.000 Pretty smart workaround. 0.71

01:35:26.000 So the guys buy the energy drink knowing that they're going to get some sex.

01:35:29.000 That's what that video described, yeah.

01:35:30.000 But that technically is, you know, yeah.

01:35:33.000 But I've known too many people, women I've known, who were pseudo-forced into it by a boyfriend.

01:35:39.000 And one girl I was talking to recently, she was like, yeah, my boyfriend made me kind of do it.

01:35:43.000 And she's like, I wanted to at one point, but then he hit me when I didn't want to.

01:35:46.000 And I'm just like, man...

01:35:48.000 There's too many people I don't know their story.

01:35:50.000 If I can guarantee that it's just consensual, I'm fine with it being legal.

01:35:53.000 I don't care.

01:35:54.000 But it freaked me out that there was too many people that I didn't know enough about.

01:35:58.000 Like, I never go to places.

01:35:59.000 I never went to those places because they felt too much like the Russian mob or the Asian whatever was controlling them. 1.00

01:36:04.000 But then even people I thought I knew, I'm like, I can't guarantee it.

01:36:07.000 Right.

01:36:08.000 And I can't.

01:36:08.000 Well, that's very ethical of you.

01:36:10.000 Like, you were thinking about them being forced into that life.

01:36:12.000 Over time, it just got to me.

01:36:14.000 Because I would talk to different people.

01:36:16.000 And at first, it was like, eh, the feminists, of course, they're going to say that. 0.83

01:36:19.000 But then there were certain people that said certain things.

01:36:21.000 You know, someone just says something, it's like, ugh.

01:36:23.000 Yeah, but see there's some feminists that think it's empowering for a woman to be able to choose what to do with her body. 1.00

01:36:29.000 Oh, they're right. 0.81

01:36:29.000 I know I know a woman who's a very smart woman and when she was younger she had done and she's an artist and she had done some sex work But it was just like she fucked some guys for money and like it for her was like easier than working Yeah, and I'm not saying I think it should be legalized. 0.81

01:36:44.000 I think that people should be able to do that. 0.97

01:36:46.000 Mm-hmm.

01:36:46.000 I just personally As I was getting older, I'm like, this is not what I want to do anymore.

01:36:51.000 Yeah.

01:36:51.000 Well, good for you.

01:36:52.000 Well, it's also, you know, it's just anytime someone's being forced to do something and then there's potential shame attached to it.

01:37:00.000 Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with sex, and I know you don't either.

01:37:02.000 But when you attach the potential societal shame aspect of it, like your behavior, your choices could shame you.

01:37:09.000 It could be a real problem.

01:37:11.000 You know, like the same thing with sex, right? 0.51

01:37:12.000 Like people having sex, who care? 0.99

01:37:14.000 Everybody have sex. 0.99

01:37:15.000 We love sex. 0.99

01:37:16.000 Most people love sex, right? 0.95

01:37:18.000 But the idea of you being caught on film having sex is terrifying for a lot of people, which is really weird.

01:37:25.000 It's really weird. 0.99

01:37:26.000 Like, we know you love sex, but if we see you having sex, we'll shame you. 0.98

01:37:31.000 Yeah, you're right, because it's almost like that's why I hate when people... 0.97

01:37:43.000 Right, it is an invasion.

01:37:56.000 And it's also like you didn't write it for other people to hear. 1.00

01:38:00.000 And there's things you say to your friends, right, that if they took out of context, people would go, well, Jim Norton's a fucking asshole. 1.00

01:38:07.000 He's a piece of shit. 1.00

01:38:08.000 Like, even in jest, like this thing that I did with Ari, you know, where I sent him a text message and then I put it on Instagram. 1.00

01:38:15.000 I thought pretty obvious that it was in jest, but so many people thought it was real.

01:38:20.000 Like, the context of your friendship and people who don't understand, they don't know you, and then there's also the comedian factor.

01:38:27.000 Like, the way we talk to each other on a regular basis is so different than the way a lot of folks can, because if you're working in a fucking office job, 9 to 5 every day, you're controlled by human resources and the office standards of behavior.

01:38:42.000 You have to follow some sort of firing guidelines of what you can get terminated for. 0.99

01:38:49.000 Those people are on the edge and tiptoeing on fucking... 1.00

01:38:54.000 Broken glass every day. 0.99

01:38:55.000 It's a scary, you know, SiriusXM is a corporate environment.

01:38:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:39:00.000 And I'm fucking, I'm a fucking dirty comic, and I'm more careful around the women there than half of the fucking newscasters you hear about getting shit. 1.00

01:39:07.000 It's like, if I know that as a fucking dirtbag, you don't fucking hit on the women at work. 1.00

01:39:11.000 Well, not just that. 0.99

01:39:12.000 Or if you do, you ask them gently, would you like to go ahead?

01:39:14.000 No?

01:39:14.000 Okay.

01:39:14.000 And fuck off.

01:39:15.000 Well, no, even worse, but these guys weren't just doing that. 1.00

01:39:18.000 They were sexually harassing them.

01:39:20.000 Absolutely.

01:39:20.000 It's crazy.

01:39:21.000 It's not that they were hitting on them.

01:39:23.000 I mean, office environments are just...

01:39:24.000 Whitney Cummings has a very funny joke about that.

01:39:27.000 I don't want to say it because it's one of her new bits about working in an office, but...

01:39:31.000 There's so much sexual tension when you're stuck in a room with people for eight hours a day. 0.96

01:39:36.000 And if two people are attracted to each other and they're working side by side on a daily basis, occasionally they test the waters and say fucked up things. 0.98

01:39:43.000 And in saying those fucked up things, women are allowed to do whatever they want, essentially. 1.00

01:39:47.000 It's really hard for her. 0.99

01:39:48.000 It's really hard for her to get fired, yeah. 0.99

01:39:49.000 Yeah.

01:39:49.000 I mean, a woman says something dirty, it's kind of funny.

01:39:51.000 But if a guy says something unwanted and dirty, it's really disgusting. 0.53

01:39:54.000 Because why? 1.00

01:39:55.000 Well, because men rape, and they're more dangerous, and they're scarier. 1.00

01:39:59.000 You know, they're physically more scary. 1.00

01:40:00.000 So a guy intruding on a woman's space and saying creepy, unwanted sexual shit has an air of danger to it. 1.00

01:40:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:08.000 Whereas if a girl is saying some creepy, unwanted sexual shit to me, I can go, hey, stop. 1.00

01:40:14.000 You know, like, you can't... 1.00

01:40:16.000 Don't talk to me like that.

01:40:17.000 It's never a precursor to her making you do it. 1.00

01:40:19.000 Yeah, it's never she's gonna grab my head and force me to eat her pussy. 1.00

01:40:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:23.000 Great thought, though, isn't it?

01:40:24.000 Being made to do it.

01:40:25.000 That's one of my greatest turns.

01:40:26.000 I'm so sad.

01:40:27.000 Being made to.

01:40:28.000 Yeah.

01:40:29.000 Being made.

01:40:31.000 Stick your tongue out further.

01:40:32.000 Stick it out further!

01:40:33.000 Okay, mommy.

01:40:34.000 Sniff it. 0.99

01:40:37.000 I'm gonna fart in your mouth. 1.00

01:40:38.000 No! 0.99

01:40:39.000 Yeah, we've all been there.

01:40:41.000 You ever have someone do that?

01:40:42.000 I've had it.

01:40:43.000 It was alright.

01:40:44.000 No, I had a girl in tribe. 0.64

01:40:48.000 Did I tell you this?

01:40:48.000 She was trying to push a fart out and she shot Monostat 7 on my chest.

01:40:51.000 It was fucking horrible. 1.00

01:40:53.000 Monostat 7 is something a girl's put in their vagina, right? 1.00

01:40:55.000 Yeast infection. 1.00

01:40:56.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:40:57.000 Not my best moment.

01:40:58.000 What did it smell like?

01:41:00.000 I don't believe it had a smell.

01:41:01.000 I don't remember it having a smell.

01:41:03.000 But she had to explain that it was Monistat 7. I knew exactly what it was.

01:41:07.000 We both knew what it was, you know.

01:41:11.000 It was a bad scene. 0.99

01:41:13.000 But she was really fucking sexy. 1.00

01:41:15.000 Big fat ass. 1.00

01:41:17.000 She was trying to fart on you? 1.00

01:41:19.000 Yeah, I don't really care about that, but I was like, yeah, why not? 0.96

01:41:22.000 Fart in my face.

01:41:23.000 Whose idea was it?

01:41:24.000 Mine.

01:41:25.000 I think she said I have to.

01:41:26.000 She said you have to?

01:41:28.000 No, I think she said I have to fart. 0.78

01:41:30.000 Oh, she said I have to fart and you fart my mouth? 1.00

01:41:33.000 Yeah, we had always done that because I licked her ass and she has a big, great ass. 1.00

01:41:36.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:41:37.000 We were kind of...

01:41:37.000 Did you ever get sick from that?

01:41:40.000 Nah.

01:41:40.000 Not that I know of.

01:41:43.000 Somebody must have.

01:41:43.000 Sure.

01:41:44.000 What a terrible way to feel.

01:41:45.000 Like, why didn't I just shower her up first? 0.98

01:41:48.000 I don't like to shower them up first.

01:41:49.000 I like a scent.

01:41:51.000 I literally like...

01:41:53.000 You like that?

01:41:54.000 It's deep.

01:41:55.000 I like them...

01:41:56.000 I'm telling you, if I'm dating you and I like you, I literally have thrown girlfriends' deodorants out.

01:42:03.000 Really? 0.99

01:42:03.000 I fucking... 0.99

01:42:04.000 Do you want them to stink a little? 1.00

01:42:05.000 Yes. 1.00

01:42:07.000 But I have to fucking... 0.99

01:42:09.000 It's the way you're saying it. 0.99

01:42:11.000 Yes!

01:42:12.000 But I have to like them.

01:42:13.000 Oh.

01:42:13.000 It has to be a...

01:42:14.000 It's a chemistry thing. 1.00

01:42:15.000 That's nature telling you who you should fuck and who you shouldn't fuck. 1.00

01:42:17.000 Right. 1.00

01:42:17.000 Because some people's scent repulses me. 1.00

01:42:18.000 The smell of their mouth or the smell of their skin repulses me. 1.00

01:42:22.000 Unhealthy people, probably.

01:42:23.000 Or even people that I'm just not meant to breed with. 0.81

01:42:26.000 But then there's some people, the underarm smell, the smell of their feet when they're stinky.

01:42:30.000 Ew.

01:42:30.000 It like...

01:42:31.000 Dude, it makes me...

01:42:31.000 Not dirty.

01:42:32.000 I don't like dirty feet.

01:42:33.000 Like, I don't want... 0.81

01:42:34.000 Just a little stinky. 0.85

01:42:35.000 In socks and sneakers. 0.88

01:42:36.000 Because it's clean.

01:42:37.000 Okay. 0.99

01:42:38.000 There's a whole fucking thing with it. 0.99

01:42:40.000 You're so orderly about it. 0.99

01:42:42.000 It's clean.

01:42:43.000 It is.

01:42:43.000 You're looking at me, you're intense, your eyes line up.

01:42:45.000 Yeah.

01:42:45.000 You're like, no, no, no.

01:42:46.000 Socks and sneakers because it's clean.

01:42:47.000 Because you do feel like a creep when you're talking to a girl.

01:42:50.000 And you say to her, like, I want your feet to be a certain way.

01:42:52.000 Yeah, I would say.

01:42:53.000 But you want to let her know, don't make them dirty.

01:42:55.000 Like, don't come over in flip-flops or...

01:42:57.000 I don't want you walking around on a floor without...

01:43:00.000 You know what I mean?

01:43:00.000 Like, I'm a hygiene person.

01:43:02.000 You just want them a little sweaty.

01:43:03.000 Yeah, but I've been with girls and I've told them, like, don't shower for three days. 0.99

01:43:08.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:43:09.000 It makes me crazy.

01:43:10.000 And what do they say?

01:43:11.000 Great.

01:43:12.000 Really?

01:43:12.000 The good ones.

01:43:13.000 Great. 0.99

01:43:14.000 Honestly, they fucking love it. 0.98

01:43:16.000 But again, if I don't like you and if I'm not attracted to your scent, I have no desire for that. 0.98

01:43:20.000 So that's how I know I'm meant to be with somebody.

01:43:22.000 You know, Chris Ryan, Dr. Chris Ryan, a friend of mine, was telling me that women, when they're on birth control pills, their ability to smell whether or not a mate is sexually compatible with them gets hindered by the birth control pill.

01:43:36.000 It fucks it up.

01:43:37.000 But when they have women that are not on birth control pills, they can literally smell a man's clothes. 0.99

01:43:43.000 Find out whether or not they're sexually compatible with them.

01:43:45.000 Just whether or not they're attracted to them.

01:43:47.000 Yeah.

01:43:48.000 Like there's a literally a specific scent and that scent they think is not just like whether or not you're sexually attracted to someone's smell, but whether or not you're biologically compatible with them.

01:43:59.000 Yeah.

01:43:59.000 Do you remember back in the day when people would get married?

01:44:02.000 They would do blood tests to see if they could have kids. 0.65

01:44:05.000 Do you remember that?

01:44:06.000 I don't.

01:44:06.000 There was a thing that they used to talk about, like people would have tests to see, I don't even know if it was legitimately scientifically valid, but they would have tests, like a blood test, and I remember people talking about this when I was in high school, like that married people would go and have these blood tests to see if they could,

01:44:24.000 not pregnancy, no, no, no, not pregnancy, but whether or not they were compatible, like as far as like raising healthy kids. 0.87

01:44:33.000 There was some weird, I mean it might have been some bullshit, Fake science that they tried to pass off back in the 70s and the 80s.

01:44:42.000 But I distinctly remember people talking, this is like before I was anywhere near, blood type incompatibility. 0.76

01:44:50.000 Yeah.

01:44:50.000 Blood types are categorized by A, B, and O. We're reading something here.

01:44:54.000 And given the RH factor of positive or negative, ABO and RH incompatibility happens when a mother's blood type conflicts with that of her newborn child.

01:45:03.000 It's possible for the mother's Red blood cells to cross into the placenta or fetus during pregnancy. 0.98

01:45:10.000 Yeah, but that's incompatibility between a mother and a child. 1.00

01:45:13.000 I think it's between a man and a woman and the way they have... 1.00

01:45:17.000 It's probably bullshit, but it was something that people used to do a lot. 0.98

01:45:22.000 I remember people talking about it. 0.98

01:45:24.000 I remember people talking about it when I had a very, very limited understanding of biology.

01:45:28.000 So I was probably in high school or maybe even before that.

01:45:31.000 But I was like, what?

01:45:32.000 Blood test?

01:45:33.000 They have to take a blood test?

01:45:34.000 I'm like, what if you love somebody and you want to get married to them and you find out that you take a blood test and it doesn't work out?

01:45:38.000 How does that work?

01:45:39.000 Maybe that's such a nature thing.

01:45:42.000 Maybe if it's not meant to be, it can still work.

01:45:45.000 You know what I mean? 0.92

01:45:45.000 Nature may work on this fucking base level where, yeah, it's still going to work, but that's letting you know it will work. 0.92

01:45:50.000 Do you know what I mean? 0.98

01:45:51.000 It may still work fine if your scent is off, but the clothes thing makes sense.

01:45:55.000 There was a girl I had come over. 0.99

01:45:57.000 She would come over and we would fuck around, and her underarms would smell, and it made me fucking bonkers, man. 0.99

01:46:02.000 I was so attracted to her scent. 1.00

01:46:04.000 She left a jacket in my house, the fucking armpits. 1.00

01:46:07.000 I smelled the armpits for six months. 1.00

01:46:11.000 You're so fucked up. 1.00

01:46:13.000 Dude, I fucking sniffed the armpits. 1.00

01:46:15.000 And I'm not a guy who's into toys or clothing, like as far as a woman. 1.00

01:46:20.000 I don't usually want their panties. 0.55

01:46:23.000 The girl I'm seeing now, I do, though.

01:46:24.000 I do.

01:46:24.000 I want her.

01:46:25.000 We're trying to figure out a way for her to FedEx overnight me her panties. 1.00

01:46:28.000 I've never asked a girl to do that in my life. 0.96

01:46:30.000 We should tell her to put them in a Ziploc so they don't dry out.

01:46:32.000 Of course.

01:46:33.000 Of course.

01:46:33.000 That was number one.

01:46:34.000 I'm going to tell her to tape the Ziploc so it doesn't open up.

01:46:36.000 Yes.

01:46:36.000 But I mean, that's really ultra rare that I actually want that.

01:46:39.000 But this girl's jacket hung in my closet and I fucking smelled it. 1.00

01:46:42.000 It drove me crazy for months. 0.99

01:46:44.000 I'm having deja vu.

01:46:45.000 What do you say?

01:46:45.000 Today's parent says that you should be getting blood tests for genetic screening because they can find out if you're going to have potential blood diseases.

01:46:52.000 Oh, that type of stuff, yeah.

01:46:53.000 Yeah, but that's...

01:46:54.000 Today's parent, is that a website?

01:46:56.000 Yeah.

01:46:57.000 Is that a common practice?

01:46:59.000 I mean, it says...

01:47:00.000 This was like an article that says tests you need to be getting before pregnancy and there's like a pre-pregnancy checkup For the man and the woman, right?

01:47:07.000 Yeah, prenatal vaccinations and then sexually transmitted diseases you need to check for, too, and genetic screening, it says.

01:47:12.000 So they just do, like, probably overall blood tests.

01:47:14.000 Yeah, it's very interesting because you don't hear about that anymore.

01:47:17.000 It's not like, you know, you don't hear about that from doctors.

01:47:22.000 You don't hear about that when people are trying to get pregnant. 0.99

01:47:24.000 You don't hear about that from newlyweds. 1.00

01:47:26.000 You just don't hear about it.

01:47:27.000 The blood tests.

01:47:28.000 Yeah, like getting blood tests to make sure that your kids would be healthy. 0.94

01:47:31.000 Or I wonder now, though, if there's so much stress put on disease shit, like AIDS, that we still say get a blood test and get tested, and all this stuff is handled, but maybe we just don't talk about the other aspect of it because the big one is HIV or whatever. 0.92

01:47:43.000 Or hey, like, you know, you gotta check to see what diseases your family has. 0.94

01:47:48.000 Like, maybe we're still talking about it, but it's just not being phrased the same way.

01:47:51.000 Well, this is why I don't think it's true, because we went to a very good doctor, and, you know, I have kids. 0.99

01:47:57.000 I never took a fucking test. 0.99

01:47:58.000 Just shot loads in there and made kids. 1.00

01:48:00.000 There's a way to do it.

01:48:01.000 I mean, I just don't, I don't know.

01:48:04.000 I mean, maybe, I don't know.

01:48:07.000 I don't know about the science of all that stuff, and I just don't know why it was never discussed. 0.97

01:48:11.000 But I do remember being a kid where that was a big deal, like, that a parent, these two parents would get a blood test before they got married to make sure they could have kids, and I just never hear about that shit anymore. 0.87

01:48:21.000 Yeah, I don't even remember hearing about it back then, to be honest, but it does make sense. 0.88

01:48:25.000 Like, hey, let's just see if there's going to be, like, if there's an obvious problem that will show up through the blood test.

01:48:30.000 Well, how fucking weird is it that you could have a different kind of blood than me?

01:48:33.000 Like, your blood might be A, and mine might be O. Like, your blood is in my body. 0.97

01:48:38.000 I'm fucked. 1.00

01:48:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:48:39.000 Like, my body, it's not even compatible. 1.00

01:48:42.000 That's what's so strange.

01:48:43.000 It's like, we vary so much biologically that we have different kinds of blood.

01:48:48.000 Yeah, and one is not good in the other.

01:48:50.000 Yeah.

01:48:51.000 I mean, there's some bloods that are universal.

01:48:52.000 I believe it's O positive as a universal blood donor.

01:48:57.000 Anyone can take it.

01:48:58.000 Yeah.

01:48:58.000 That's what I have.

01:48:59.000 I believe that my blood can go into other people's body.

01:49:03.000 And it's okay.

01:49:04.000 Find out if that's true.

01:49:05.000 I don't know what I am.

01:49:06.000 I probably should know.

01:49:07.000 Yeah, you should probably know.

01:49:08.000 I don't.

01:49:09.000 I know.

01:49:10.000 I'm busy.

01:49:10.000 I didn't ever check that.

01:49:12.000 I'm busy.

01:49:13.000 She's getting panties sent to me. 1.00

01:49:15.000 I know.

01:49:16.000 I know.

01:49:17.000 I'm not really big on the undergarments, though.

01:49:19.000 I mean, you know, a couple girls have had them.

01:49:21.000 I thought they were sexy.

01:49:22.000 What is it about women wearing those stockings with the straps that go up to the underwear that's so hot? 1.00

01:49:28.000 Because you're seeing something you're not supposed to be seeing.

01:49:31.000 Universal red cell donor has type O negative.

01:49:34.000 O negative.

01:49:36.000 I think I'm O positive.

01:49:37.000 Universal plasma donor has AB blood type.

01:49:42.000 In general, Rh negative blood is given to Rh negative patients and Rh positive blood or Rh negative blood may be given to Rh positive patients.

01:49:52.000 Universal red cell donor has type O. O negative blood type.

01:49:57.000 Hmm.

01:49:58.000 I need to figure out what I'm talking about.

01:50:00.000 Yeah, I don't know much about the blood stuff at all.

01:50:03.000 I mean for me, it's just a, you know, what drives me sexually.

01:50:05.000 Like I know what I, you know.

01:50:08.000 Well, it is weird how some people can be like really pretty, but you don't find them attractive at all.

01:50:12.000 And then other people are not nearly as pretty, but you think they're so sexy.

01:50:16.000 I've dated people who, well there's trigger words that we all like.

01:50:19.000 So a good trigger word Oof, that goes a long way.

01:50:23.000 Like, it's not the dirty porn words.

01:50:25.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:50:26.000 You like that shit? 1.00

01:50:26.000 Oh, shut up. 1.00

01:50:27.000 No. 1.00

01:50:28.000 See, for me, it's not a series of words or that kind of shit. 0.99

01:50:31.000 I'm not, I guess I'm not as dirty as you. 0.98

01:50:33.000 But for me, it's just a personality thing.

01:50:35.000 Oh, that means to me.

01:50:37.000 It's like someone who's comfortable.

01:50:37.000 Like, someone who's comfortable in their own skin and fun to be around and...

01:50:44.000 Passionate, you know, but also like affectionate.

01:50:47.000 Like affectionate to me is very sexy.

01:50:49.000 So you have different things.

01:50:50.000 We all have those things. 0.95

01:50:51.000 I actually, yours is better because to me that's a more normal thing to be and then it's just a healthier thing without needing bells and whistles and fucking juggling and you know. 0.75

01:51:00.000 Like if I see a woman with like perfect features and she's cold and she's not friendly and nice, I don't find her attractive at all. 1.00

01:51:06.000 Yeah, it does nothing for you.

01:51:07.000 But a woman who's way less classically attractive, but she's very affectionate and very kind and sweet and fun to be around, I find that very attractive.

01:51:15.000 That will vary for me from person to person.

01:51:17.000 I can go with kind and sweet, or I can go with certain words I like when they say it. 0.99

01:51:21.000 Some people just get it, and they know how to talk, and they know your fucking triggers, and it's just... 0.98

01:51:28.000 It's an ownership. 0.99

01:51:28.000 For you. 0.99

01:51:29.000 For me, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:51:30.000 You got weird kinks. 1.00

01:51:31.000 Yeah, man. 0.99

01:51:32.000 It's, although not as crazy with this, again, the person now, not crazy, I just like her, or I love her, whatever the fuck it is. 0.94

01:51:37.000 Like, what is it, though, what do you, have you ever, like, tried to examine, like, what are kinks? 0.97

01:51:41.000 Like, where is it coming from?

01:51:42.000 Like, what, What is it about, like, trigger words and weird things and weird stuff that, like, gets you turned on?

01:51:49.000 And is it how you're interfacing with the world?

01:51:52.000 Is it how you're choosing to address all of your issues and that you can escape them with, like, really, like, crazy behavior?

01:51:59.000 And that, like, maybe you have all these anxieties and neurosis and that through this really bizarre, dirty talk and freaky behavior, you can escape those because It's so naughty.

01:52:10.000 It's so off the risk.

01:52:11.000 Because you're not a normal guy, right?

01:52:13.000 None of us are if we're working in show business.

01:52:16.000 If you're a stand-up comedian, right? 0.99

01:52:17.000 You're getting paid to talk crazy shit on stage, right? 1.00

01:52:20.000 You're not normal. 1.00

01:52:21.000 Right.

01:52:21.000 Your world isn't normal.

01:52:22.000 You wake up whenever the fuck you want unless you have to do a radio show, right? 0.99

01:52:25.000 So it's a different... 0.99

01:52:26.000 The whole world you live in is different. 1.00

01:52:28.000 And then you have all this kinky shit, and then you add addictions to dirty stuff. 1.00

01:52:33.000 And so, like, whatever it is about, like, a girl saying something like this, she's gonna go with me on this crazy dirt, she's gonna fart in my mouth, yeah! 1.00

01:52:41.000 Yeah. 0.73

01:52:41.000 It's like, you're, like, escaping the troubles just for a brief moment with all this insane behavior. 0.73

01:52:49.000 It could be that.

01:52:50.000 I don't know.

01:52:51.000 Sometimes I wonder.

01:52:52.000 It's almost like if you eat too much ice cream, there's diabetes that will come with that.

01:52:55.000 That could be the diabetes.

01:52:57.000 Just too much excess.

01:52:59.000 And all of a sudden, instead of three to make this effect, it takes 11. You can't get the same effect from the same thing.

01:53:06.000 When I was growing up, I loved lesbian porn. 1.00

01:53:08.000 I fucking loved two girls. 1.00

01:53:10.000 Oh my god, it drove me nuts. 0.99

01:53:11.000 Now?

01:53:12.000 Are they related?

01:53:13.000 No, I'm not interested.

01:53:15.000 You know what killed it for me?

01:53:16.000 When I was on news radio, one of the guys who was a writer on news radio was a very nice guy.

01:53:21.000 But he was a nebbishy sort of fellow that had problems with women. 0.83

01:53:26.000 And he was a writer on news radio, and in his moonlight time, he used a pseudonym and wrote for porn. 0.98

01:53:34.000 Oh.

01:53:34.000 And so he took me to a porn set.

01:53:36.000 It was my first porn set ever.

01:53:38.000 And it was Jill Kelly and Janine.

01:53:41.000 I'm sure you know who those are.

01:53:41.000 Jill Kelly, I know the name.

01:53:42.000 Janine, I don't know.

01:53:43.000 Janine is the one that used to be married to the Jesse James character, the biker guy. 1.00

01:53:48.000 Oh.

01:53:48.000 Oh, yes.

01:53:49.000 Beautiful woman. 1.00

01:53:50.000 And her thing was that she only did lesbian porn. 1.00

01:53:53.000 That was her thing. 0.99

01:53:54.000 Right.

01:53:55.000 So I'm on the set and it was just so Like, clinical.

01:54:03.000 Very.

01:54:03.000 Like, it was weird.

01:54:04.000 Like, they were doing this scene.

01:54:06.000 Yeah, that's her. 0.60

01:54:07.000 Yeah, she was on Blink-182's album cover.

01:54:10.000 Beautiful, beautiful woman, right?

01:54:12.000 So she's got this scene, this lesbian scene. 1.00

01:54:16.000 I think she was like a cartoon character that came back to life or some ridiculous shit, right? 0.99

01:54:20.000 Is that what she looks like now? 0.99

01:54:21.000 Yeah.

01:54:22.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:54:23.000 Wow, that's her now, huh?

01:54:23.000 Is that a...

01:54:26.000 Yeah, but is that like a mugshot?

01:54:28.000 That's a mugshot.

01:54:30.000 She went to jail.

01:54:32.000 I forget what she went to jail for, but yeah, not good.

01:54:37.000 Anyway, things go south, right?

01:54:38.000 That's what we were talking about earlier.

01:54:40.000 Some of these gals, they get a little older, and all the pressure of the forbidden behavior, just the societal pressure, and all the things that led them to be that way in the first place come crashing down on them. 0.85

01:54:51.000 But... 0.62

01:54:52.000 For this scene, the two of them were on a bed, and they were eating each other's pussies, and there was a sound guy with the fuzzy mic that's on a stick that was hovering over him, and then there was another guy that was over there doing something. 0.99

01:55:07.000 He was literally eating a sandwich while these girls were eating each other's pussies. 0.99

01:55:10.000 He was so disinterested. 0.99

01:55:11.000 And then there was a director, and then they were kind of aware that we were there watching, so she was sort of putting on this sort of self-conscious show And in between takes, they would go, okay, cut. 1.00

01:55:25.000 And she would keep eating her pussy, and she would say something like, I love my job. 1.00

01:55:29.000 I love my job. 1.00

01:55:30.000 But it was convincing herself that she loved her job, and it just super bummed me out.

01:55:36.000 Yeah, I've been on a bunch of those sets, and you're right.

01:55:39.000 But there's different energies depending on the set.

01:55:40.000 Like, I've been on...

01:55:41.000 I hosted the awards show, the AVM, with Jenna Jameson.

01:55:44.000 So I got to go on one of her sets and watch.

01:55:46.000 She actually was doing a lesbian scene. 1.00

01:55:47.000 Her husband at the time, Jay, I guess, was directing it. 1.00

01:55:49.000 And that was like a fucking set. 0.99

01:55:51.000 There was a wardrobe. 1.00

01:55:52.000 There was craft.

01:55:53.000 You know what I mean?

01:55:54.000 Like, that was a set.

01:55:55.000 It was a high-end...

01:55:55.000 Did you eat at the craft service, or were you like, yikes?

01:55:58.000 No, I thought I'd just...

01:56:00.000 Hot dogs and tacos.

01:56:03.000 No, I think... 1.00

01:56:04.000 I think I just watched her eat pussy. 1.00

01:56:06.000 I'm like, this is Jenna Jameson. 1.00

01:56:08.000 She is the biggest ever in this business.

01:56:10.000 You have to watch this happen.

01:56:11.000 And then we went on another one.

01:56:13.000 I saw another one another day where it was like a lower budget, average budget, where it was two guys and a girl.

01:56:19.000 And like the girl was in between the two guys.

01:56:21.000 And the director was going, come on, more!

01:56:22.000 Let me have a little bit more of that.

01:56:25.000 And they're amazing people that they can function sexually under those conditions.

01:56:29.000 Yeah. 0.68

01:56:30.000 Totally unsexy. 0.99

01:56:31.000 The sexiest one I saw was like a very low budget, like a guy, like one guy with a light and one guy holding a fucking camera and a couple. 0.98

01:56:39.000 And they were like a couple who was real amateur. 0.99

01:56:41.000 And so it felt more like sex. 0.64

01:56:45.000 And I don't think the guy could get hard for a little while.

01:56:47.000 He struggled a bit, but they were real people.

01:56:49.000 Right.

01:56:50.000 That was the hottest one because it felt the closest to real sex.

01:56:53.000 That makes sense.

01:56:53.000 That's like...

01:56:55.000 Yeah, that's actual sex. 0.97

01:56:56.000 A lot of people like those. 0.72

01:56:58.000 The sounds are too much.

01:57:00.000 The faking it.

01:57:01.000 Stop it.

01:57:02.000 Stop it. 0.94

01:57:03.000 I dated a couple of girls in porn, like minor, and one girl would blow me, and I could never come from her. 1.00

01:57:08.000 She had a good head, but it was like, you know... 0.98

01:57:11.000 That's not good.

01:57:12.000 Hey, hey, hey.

01:57:12.000 Settle down.

01:57:14.000 Easy. 0.99

01:57:14.000 Just a little fucking pecking up and down. 0.99

01:57:15.000 You know what freaks me out when they gag on purpose? 0.99

01:57:18.000 Like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

01:57:22.000 There's nothing for me.

01:57:23.000 A little gag. 0.90

01:57:24.000 Who likes that? 0.62

01:57:25.000 There are guys that like that.

01:57:26.000 A guy named Brandon Irons. 1.00

01:57:28.000 He's a Canadian guy with a giant dick. 1.00

01:57:30.000 And he would always... 1.00

01:57:31.000 He's a big porn actor for a while. 0.99

01:57:33.000 I remember the fucking Joey Silvera. 0.99

01:57:35.000 You know Joey? 0.99

01:57:36.000 Yeah, I know who that guy is.

01:57:37.000 Joey's a good friend of mine, and I met him at the award show in January of 2004. But he's an older gentleman now, right?

01:57:43.000 Oh, he's kind of late 50s, early 60s, maybe. 0.87

01:57:45.000 Does he still do porn? 0.90

01:57:47.000 Oh, no, he shoots it. 1.00

01:57:48.000 He shoots a lot of trans porn. 1.00

01:57:49.000 Joey is a fucking naughty boy. 1.00

01:57:52.000 He's a great director because he loves it. 1.00

01:57:55.000 He really loves directing.

01:57:57.000 Because he likes what he's doing.

01:57:58.000 So the first time I did The Tonight Show was in September of 2004, I think.

01:58:02.000 And I watched it at Joey's house downstairs.

01:58:06.000 Wow.

01:58:07.000 And I've seen so much porn shot in that house. 0.92

01:58:08.000 And Brandon Irons was upstairs with his girlfriend. 1.00

01:58:11.000 Anyway, Brandon Irons is a throat fucker. 1.00

01:58:13.000 Like, he's the guy... 0.99

01:58:15.000 Look up Brandon Iron someday.

01:58:17.000 He's a Canadian dude.

01:58:18.000 I think he's in Canada now. 1.00

01:58:19.000 He will fucking rip a throat apart. 1.00

01:58:22.000 And it's not my thing. 1.00

01:58:23.000 But I think I asked him, don't you ever get your dick bitten? 1.00

01:58:26.000 It just seemed like such a hard way to have sex. 1.00

01:58:28.000 And I don't like a girl to be uncomfortable. 0.89

01:58:32.000 Spanking or whatever, but I don't like to feel like I'm menacing somebody.

01:58:34.000 That's just not my energy.

01:58:36.000 Well, the other also problem is, like, if you get hard, if that's, like, exciting on film, like, is that exciting to you in regular life?

01:58:43.000 Or is this just, like, an act that you're putting on in film and, like, how do you, like, how sexually, how does it translate?

01:58:49.000 Or can you do both?

01:58:50.000 Right. 1.00

01:58:50.000 He might be a guy who just can get his dick hard anywhere. 1.00

01:58:53.000 Like, Nacho Vidal could literally fuck during a house fire. 1.00

01:58:56.000 He's just one of those guys that nothing matters to him. 0.99

01:58:59.000 You know, Rocco Sofredi, these guys, or Manuel Ferrara. 1.00

01:59:03.000 These guys, the men impress me more than the women just because they have to keep their dick hard. 1.00

01:59:08.000 And I don't know a lot of the newer guys. 0.98

01:59:10.000 I just don't really watch as much with big names. 0.99

01:59:12.000 But the fact that these guys can function under these conditions, whereas my dick... 0.99

01:59:16.000 Is very very susceptible to having an issue. 0.99

01:59:19.000 Well pre-viagra there were real superstars, right?

01:59:23.000 There were real guys who were just freaks and now there's like chemically enhanced superstars. 0.98

01:59:27.000 But even with viagra I've lost heart arms like I haven't taken Cialis in over a month I think maybe it's been three actually three or four months now I just stopped because my dick was horrible without it I'm like I can't even with it. 0.98

01:59:37.000 It was like my dick was kind of half-masked I'm like you're training your body wrong, right? 0.96

01:59:41.000 So I stopped taking you talk to someone to give you that advice What, to stop taking it? 0.99

01:59:45.000 No, I just knew.

01:59:46.000 I knew myself because I was taking it the wrong time and I wasn't even horny.

01:59:49.000 I'm like, if you need one, take it.

01:59:51.000 But I have it in so long.

01:59:52.000 So you were relying on it psychologically, too.

01:59:54.000 Oh, God, yeah, all the time.

01:59:55.000 If I thought there might be a chance that night, I'd pop one, a Cialis, go to the cellar and hope for the best. 0.92

02:00:02.000 I was a true optimist.

02:00:04.000 Sitting there with a boner.

02:00:05.000 Yeah, and it would make you feel great, but I didn't need it.

02:00:08.000 So I was taking it, but I didn't need it.

02:00:10.000 So I was like, eh.

02:00:11.000 What's a genius thing that nature's done to make it so that there's all these different factors that keep you from getting erect, right?

02:00:18.000 Nervousness, fear, anxiety, which makes sense, because you really shouldn't be concentrating.

02:00:25.000 For a human male, sex is so overwhelmingly interesting, right, that if you could get it up in the face of danger, it would probably be terrible for your survival mechanisms.

02:00:39.000 Right.

02:00:40.000 Do you read a book called The Midnight of Good and the Garden of Evil?

02:00:46.000 What was that?

02:00:47.000 Kevin Spacey was in the film.

02:00:49.000 Yeah.

02:00:50.000 Good and Evil in the Midnight Garden. 0.99

02:00:51.000 I'm fucking up. 0.99

02:00:52.000 I know what you're talking about. 0.99

02:00:54.000 Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.

02:00:55.000 Yeah, I never read that book.

02:00:57.000 Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.

02:00:57.000 I read the book.

02:00:58.000 But I remember the movie.

02:00:59.000 There was one thing in the book I remember.

02:01:02.000 20 years ago, wow.

02:01:03.000 Something happened. 0.98

02:01:04.000 And the guy's fucking the girl, and like somebody came, like they were fucking outdoors, and there was a bad guy who was coming with a gun or something, and she said what she remembered is that they couldn't move, but she was like, I remember he stayed hard while he was inside me. 0.99

02:01:18.000 Like he kept his erection. 0.97

02:01:19.000 I don't even know if it's fiction or nonfiction. 0.83

02:01:21.000 Something tells me it was nonfiction, but I could just be hoping.

02:01:24.000 I've always envied guys like that, but I'm not like that.

02:01:29.000 It's a funny thing to envy.

02:01:30.000 Well, yeah, people who are healthy.

02:01:32.000 I envy people who are kind of healthy.

02:01:33.000 That's not necessarily totally healthy, right?

02:01:34.000 Because if you're really healthy, you'd be thinking about your own survival.

02:01:37.000 Someone's got a gun to you.

02:01:38.000 That's true.

02:01:39.000 Well, no, he was just in the area.

02:01:40.000 He wasn't.

02:01:41.000 Right.

02:01:41.000 But, yeah.

02:01:42.000 But, like, the way you are, or the way other guys are, who are just like, hey, man, I kind of like this girl, and we connected, and it feels right.

02:01:47.000 Like, those guys I envy.

02:01:49.000 Are you ever completely comfortable?

02:01:51.000 Like, have you ever, like, relaxed?

02:01:53.000 Were you, like, totally at peace?

02:01:55.000 No.

02:01:55.000 Good question.

02:01:56.000 No.

02:01:56.000 And I've thought of that recently.

02:01:57.000 Like, I'm not comfortable around my own friends.

02:01:59.000 Like, I love my friends.

02:02:01.000 I'm comfortable around them.

02:02:03.000 Right.

02:02:03.000 But other times I'm really comfortable.

02:02:06.000 Sometimes on the radio, when we're going back, when there's no time to think, when there's like fucking six or seven comics in there and you're just being animals and everybody's moving and punching and shitting on each other, I'm very comfortable. 0.97

02:02:17.000 Because there's no time to reflect or think. 0.97

02:02:20.000 You're just kind of doing what you do comfortably.

02:02:22.000 But in that environment, I realized that after, like, wow, I felt just really alive.

02:02:30.000 Great.

02:02:30.000 In the moment.

02:02:32.000 In the moment is exactly it.

02:02:33.000 Flowing.

02:02:34.000 You're in a flow state.

02:02:34.000 Doing something and not thinking.

02:02:36.000 But when I'm thinking, I'm always worrying about this. 0.99

02:02:39.000 That's what just fucks me up in sex. 0.92

02:02:41.000 No, I'm not comfortable too often. 0.98

02:02:46.000 Have you ever tried to be?

02:02:48.000 Yeah, I don't know what to do.

02:02:49.000 Like, I think it's all shame-based, so I'm trying to, like, I figure if I talk about things, that helps.

02:02:55.000 But if it doesn't, like, if it hasn't helped to the point where you're never comfortable now, at 49, it's like, boy, this, whatever this pattern is that you've followed your whole life.

02:03:04.000 Right.

02:03:04.000 Might not be the way to do it.

02:03:06.000 I mean, I'm just guessing.

02:03:08.000 I think you're not right.

02:03:09.000 I'm not a psychologist.

02:03:10.000 No, but that's a good point.

02:03:10.000 I mean, it's like, I don't know why I'm never comfortable.

02:03:13.000 I'm not sure.

02:03:14.000 But I'm not.

02:03:14.000 But that's why I'm asking you about yoga, and that's why I wanted to ask you about meditation, too.

02:03:19.000 Just to wonder, like, maybe you can train your mind to relax when it comes to certain things, or train your mind to not entertain so many neurotic thoughts, or train your mind to concentrate on positive things and eventually build that up.

02:03:32.000 The same way you build up endurance, like we were talking about those guys doing that exercise where we're circling a person through.

02:03:38.000 You burn yourself out, unless you did it all the time.

02:03:41.000 Or like my friend Cam who runs a marathon a day.

02:03:43.000 He's used to it.

02:03:44.000 He does it all the time.

02:03:45.000 Maybe you can do that also with your point of view.

02:03:48.000 Maybe you can do that also with your mindfulness, with just thinking about the world itself around you.

02:03:53.000 That you could maybe not entertain those same thoughts, these neurotic thoughts, Maybe it's akin to an endurance racer giving in to the idea of, oh, discomfort, and why don't I just quit now?

02:04:08.000 Maybe this is the same sort of thing.

02:04:10.000 Maybe these are mental patterns that you can stray away from, keep your mind on a positive track, and come up with some sort of really good ways of thinking about things.

02:04:21.000 Because you're obviously a very smart guy, and you're obviously a very sensitive guy.

02:04:25.000 You think a lot.

02:04:26.000 You know, but if you let that thinking and that sensitivity sort of run amok without any control, without any discipline, that seems to be the issue.

02:04:34.000 And I've had those issues myself in the past, which is one of the reasons why I bring it up.

02:04:38.000 I mean, I'm way healthier now at this point in my life than I've ever been before because I've really worked at it and worked at...

02:04:47.000 Being at peace and being calm and and then also I've worked at all the extraneous sort of influences that fuck with that and sort of eliminate them and then use exercise sort of as a drug in a lot of ways like there's a one of the reasons why I exercise so much is because if I don't it's not like a looks thing it's a mind thing like if I don't strain myself if I don't if I don't do something really difficult all the time you do it every day I

02:05:17.000 do something five days a week.

02:05:19.000 I don't do it every day.

02:05:20.000 I have days where I take off, but if I take more than one day off, my body starts going, what are we doing?

02:05:25.000 What are we doing?

02:05:26.000 It's almost like you have a dog that you don't walk.

02:05:28.000 You ever have a dog?

02:05:28.000 Yeah.

02:05:29.000 No, no, but I mean, I know it.

02:05:30.000 This is one of the reasons why I thought about it way back in the day, because My dog would be so much calmer if I went and played with him for a few hours.

02:05:36.000 If I took him for a walk and threw the ball and he ran around, he'd be chill.

02:05:40.000 But if I didn't, he'd be like, come on, what's going on?

02:05:43.000 It's like, do I have a neurotic dog?

02:05:44.000 No, I have a dog that doesn't get any exercise.

02:05:46.000 He has physical requirements for him to be content.

02:05:49.000 And I think people have physical requirements for them to be content too.

02:05:52.000 But I think unlike people, or unlike dogs rather, people can go on these sort of downward mental spirals of self-hate, of self-analysis, of neurosis.

02:06:06.000 Neurotic thinking of you can get yourself in these really bad patterns of like shitting on yourself or looking at yourself in a negative way You know and I think you tend to gravitate towards these negative things sometimes and then you you realize it and then you bounce back But it's like,

02:06:23.000 what is causing you to gravitate towards them?

02:06:25.000 And why can you never achieve just a few moments, like an hour or two, where you just chill?

02:06:30.000 You could just sit at home and just read a book and have a cup of tea.

02:06:35.000 Do you ever feel like that, where you're just comfortable and relaxed?

02:06:38.000 You can watch a movie on Netflix and chill out?

02:06:40.000 It's always restless.

02:06:42.000 You know, you talk about the mental patterns.

02:06:44.000 And changing the physical stuff is what I got to do first.

02:06:47.000 They're bringing the body and the mind will follow.

02:06:48.000 So I have to stop doing certain things.

02:06:51.000 And this thing of not cheating on this girl is a...

02:06:55.000 Because I've not cheated on girls before when they were here. 0.99

02:06:57.000 But she's not here yet, and we're still in a relationship.

02:07:00.000 And for me to not, it's miraculous that I'm not.

02:07:04.000 And we had a fight recently, and I almost did. 0.98

02:07:06.000 I started fucking tech, and I'm like, no. 0.99

02:07:08.000 You can't. 1.00

02:07:09.000 This is what you do.

02:07:10.000 You sabotage things, and that's why you're so...

02:07:14.000 And I've been going kind of up and down lately, but it's like whenever you're not doing something, it takes a while for you to adjust and go like, alright.

02:07:21.000 When you feel something, now you've got to feel it.

02:07:23.000 You can't feel it and then run and go on Eros.

02:07:26.000 Did you ever go to a therapist?

02:07:27.000 Oh, yeah.

02:07:28.000 Many, many.

02:07:28.000 There was one I went to.

02:07:30.000 She was very nice. 0.89

02:07:31.000 But once I started getting familiar with them, you know, there was one time, I forget why, I was really fucking suicidal. 0.69

02:07:37.000 And I called her.

02:07:38.000 I don't like calling a therapist, but it was a bad day.

02:07:40.000 And I was talking to her.

02:07:41.000 Do you remember what triggered it? 0.99

02:07:43.000 No, it's usually the same stuff around feeling like a failure, just the same shit that everybody has, the same feeling like, oh, I'm worthless. 0.93

02:07:49.000 So I talked to her, and she was being nice, but she was not being helpful. 0.97

02:07:54.000 And I didn't want her to rescue me, but I wanted her just simply to give some kind of an answer or trigger me to ask myself a question.

02:08:00.000 That's what therapists do. 0.99

02:08:01.000 They trigger you to go, why am I doing this? 1.00

02:08:04.000 It's my fucking... 1.00

02:08:05.000 That's what their job is. 1.00

02:08:06.000 And so was she just not very good at it?

02:08:09.000 No, she was like, yeah, no, I know. 0.98

02:08:14.000 Just kind of empathizing a little, but I don't need you to fucking empathize with me. 0.67

02:08:17.000 I just need you to give me a suggestion, a light nudge. 0.92

02:08:21.000 Say something.

02:08:21.000 Something.

02:08:22.000 Don't just be, okay, this is where we're at.

02:08:25.000 Alright, no, I'll see you next week.

02:08:27.000 You really might not.

02:08:28.000 You know what I mean? 0.89

02:08:29.000 I didn't say that to her, because I'm not a fucking emo girl, but I just was like, alright, whatever. 0.94

02:08:33.000 But I can't be in a therapy with her anymore. 0.97

02:08:37.000 Right.

02:08:37.000 Well, I think therapists are probably a lot like comics, right?

02:08:39.000 There's really good ones and there's really bad ones.

02:08:41.000 Sure. 0.97

02:08:42.000 Ones that some people think are really good and you might think suck.

02:08:45.000 I haven't gotten in years. 0.82

02:08:47.000 I mean, a few years.

02:08:48.000 But I feel better now than I have in a long, long time.

02:08:51.000 I'm happy now. 0.93

02:08:52.000 I'm fucked up lately because I'm kind of going through this huge change. 0.91

02:08:55.000 But other than that, I feel better than I have in a long time. 0.97

02:08:58.000 Like, life is good.

02:08:59.000 That's good.

02:09:00.000 I love the radio show I'm doing.

02:09:02.000 I have fun with Sam.

02:09:02.000 I really do.

02:09:03.000 I enjoy working with Sam. 1.00

02:09:05.000 He's a fucking goofball, and I have fun. 1.00

02:09:07.000 I love doing the thing with Matt. 1.00

02:09:09.000 I have fun doing that stupid fucking... 1.00

02:09:12.000 Chip is the biggest thing in my life, and I love doing it. 1.00

02:09:14.000 That character, Chip Chipperson?

02:09:16.000 Why is it the biggest thing?

02:09:17.000 People love it.

02:09:18.000 Like the podcast, they're going to hate this week because we did it in LA and the women didn't know who Chip was and it was a very ugly experience. 0.63

02:09:24.000 Who were the women? 1.00

02:09:25.000 They were just from this, Maria Menounos' boyfriend, Kevin Undergaro, he runs this place, they do all these after shows.

02:09:31.000 He's a huge Chip fan.

02:09:33.000 So he's like, hey, while you're out here, you can use my studio because I have a podcast.

02:09:39.000 It's a different hair every week.

02:09:41.000 I can't look at it.

02:09:42.000 It's humiliating.

02:09:44.000 I love the face you make when you do them.

02:09:46.000 So you put a different wig on every week?

02:09:48.000 Every week, yeah, the glasses. 0.99

02:09:50.000 Those are glasses that Colin Quinn gave me to fucking wear. 0.99

02:09:53.000 But it's so awful. 0.98

02:09:56.000 But the last one we released is a live one, and it's the people.

02:09:59.000 It was like an hour and 20 minutes long.

02:10:00.000 We did it at the Village Underground, and it sold out faster than anything I've sold in years.

02:10:07.000 Humiliation. 1.00

02:10:09.000 What such a fucking ridiculous character. 1.00

02:10:11.000 You know what it is? 1.00

02:10:12.000 And it was a fun show. 0.98

02:10:14.000 I had Colin, Anthony, fucking Sam was on. 0.97

02:10:17.000 Who else did I have? 1.00

02:10:18.000 Fucking Bobby Kelly. 1.00

02:10:20.000 And it was just so silly. 1.00

02:10:22.000 I think it's almost like everybody's greatest fear is to be that unaware. 0.73

02:10:26.000 Like, that's a weird thing.

02:10:27.000 Why do people like this?

02:10:28.000 Because the jokes stink. 1.00

02:10:30.000 They're fucking terrible jokes. 1.00

02:10:32.000 And they're said with conviction. 0.99

02:10:34.000 But Chip always has people around him who know him.

02:10:37.000 Doing it this week in LA, it was me and Sam.

02:10:39.000 And X-Pac was on, who's a fun guy. 0.99

02:10:42.000 But he knows me as the wrestler who fucked China in the porn. 0.99

02:10:45.000 He was an ex-wrestler. 0.99

02:10:46.000 He was a great guy. 0.95

02:10:48.000 I mean, he's more than a guy who fucked China, but that's usually the reference people who don't know him will know. 0.89

02:10:52.000 But he knows Jim, so he's like, hey, Chip! 0.95

02:10:54.000 He's trying to go with it, but he doesn't know what to do. 0.99

02:10:56.000 And these fucking four girls that have no idea, because Kevin wanted it to be a train wreck, so he fucking... 1.00

02:11:03.000 Fucking Kevin Undergarle. 1.00

02:11:04.000 He wanted it to be a train wreck, so he had these girls. 1.00

02:11:07.000 He didn't tell them who it was.

02:11:08.000 He'd go, yeah, Jim Norton's going to be there.

02:11:09.000 It's a huge podcast from New York. 1.00

02:11:10.000 So I fucking do it, and they're trying to go with it, and Chip's just an abrasive cunt. 0.99

02:11:14.000 That sounds great. 1.00

02:11:15.000 They didn't know what to do.

02:11:16.000 It's the only time I've ever been humiliated doing Chip.

02:11:21.000 I was embarrassed and uncomfortable, and I also, like, this is what it's supposed to be. 0.98

02:11:27.000 This guy stinks, and he's supposed to be disliked.

02:11:32.000 Because people who are in on the joke love the joke, you know, and they get that the jokes are awful. 0.99

02:11:37.000 So the fun part with people who love it is to at times give one, like my ex-girlfriend really knew Chip, and there was times I would do it when it was so bad and she would go, oh, even for you, that's fucking terrible. 0.88

02:11:49.000 Like she loved it.

02:11:51.000 Don't you think that the people that love Chip will actually love this episode then?

02:11:54.000 Because is Chip interacting with people who have no idea who he is? 0.83

02:11:57.000 If they really love Chip, if they understand who Chip Chipperson really is, they're going to go fucking bananas. 0.97

02:12:02.000 I can't even watch it. 0.98

02:12:04.000 Dude, I can't watch it.

02:12:06.000 I was embarrassed doing it.

02:12:07.000 I asked, because Sam co-hosted with me.

02:12:09.000 I'm like, dude, is it that?

02:12:10.000 And he goes, it was really uncomfortable.

02:12:15.000 Now I'm compelled.

02:12:16.000 I want to get it.

02:12:17.000 There are people who really didn't...

02:12:19.000 Did you videotape it too?

02:12:20.000 We videotape everyone.

02:12:22.000 Audio and video.

02:12:23.000 And it's on YouTube for free.

02:12:24.000 Is it on iTunes as well?

02:12:26.000 All for free, yeah.

02:12:27.000 I make a little money from the ads, and I said, I want to charge for the video.

02:12:29.000 I want to do something with it someday.

02:12:31.000 I don't know where it will go.

02:12:32.000 We've only been doing it in a few months.

02:12:35.000 I've had 25 episodes.

02:12:36.000 We do one a week.

02:12:37.000 He does live reads.

02:12:38.000 Look at this!

02:12:40.000 Give me some volume.

02:12:42.000 Ha ha ha! 1.00

02:12:44.000 Fucking slammed ya. 1.00

02:12:45.000 Go ahead. 1.00

02:12:47.000 Fucking hit him, Carl. 1.00

02:12:48.000 Watch this. 1.00

02:12:49.000 What's the pants you're wearing?

02:12:50.000 Watch this.

02:12:50.000 Go.

02:12:52.000 Those pants are awesome. 1.00

02:12:54.000 Fucking bury him. 0.99

02:12:56.000 Oh, now. 1.00

02:13:00.000 Bob, you look like a Honolulu hipster.

02:13:04.000 Yeah, what's that say? 1.00

02:13:06.000 Fucking Honolulu hipster. 1.00

02:13:07.000 Fucking upstate New York, you piece of garbage. 1.00

02:13:11.000 Honolulu's in Hawaii, you fuck. 1.00

02:13:12.000 I know, stupid. 1.00

02:13:16.000 It's just nonsense. 1.00

02:13:20.000 You came up with this character when you were on ONA. What made you do this?

02:13:25.000 Girlfriends hated it.

02:13:26.000 I think we talked about this.

02:13:27.000 Girlfriends drove me. 0.94

02:13:28.000 They hated it so much because it was humiliating.

02:13:31.000 It got a reaction out of them and I just kept doing it.

02:13:33.000 It was so much fun.

02:13:35.000 And a lot of times, Anthony at first hated it, but then Anthony started to love it.

02:13:40.000 But then Opie never loved it.

02:13:41.000 And it was always kind of fun to do because I knew deep down, Uncle Paul, he hates. 0.99

02:13:45.000 So I would always do Uncle Paul just to fucking make him sick. 0.98

02:13:49.000 Because he couldn't get with Uncle Paul. 0.99

02:13:50.000 Anthony, of course, could.

02:13:52.000 Are you more comfortable now doing it without him?

02:13:54.000 The radio show?

02:13:55.000 Much.

02:13:56.000 Oh, yeah.

02:13:57.000 We stopped liking each other.

02:13:58.000 I mean, the reality is, you know, I don't really mean that.

02:14:01.000 I don't wish the guy was bad in his real life. 0.98

02:14:03.000 Like, I don't want bad shit to happen to him. 0.87

02:14:05.000 But we simply stopped liking each other. 0.98

02:14:08.000 But he was enjoying his afternoon show much more without me than he was with me.

02:14:13.000 I got the morning spot for whatever, you know...

02:14:17.000 I think the company just annoyed at him or whatever.

02:14:19.000 They liked that me and Sam were hungry.

02:14:20.000 But his afternoon show was good.

02:14:22.000 I mean, you know, him and Sherrod and those guys, they were having fun.

02:14:26.000 So people didn't like it, they didn't like it, but he sounded like he was having fun.

02:14:29.000 What got him fired?

02:14:31.000 Like, what happened? 0.99

02:14:32.000 What the technical reason was, was he had filmed Roland Campos, our booker, taking a shit. 0.99

02:14:40.000 Now, I know Opie well. 0.98

02:14:41.000 He filmed me doing it in 2009. But he was being a goofball. 0.96

02:14:44.000 I don't think he was trying to be degrading. 1.00

02:14:46.000 Just being an ass. 0.99

02:14:47.000 And then showing it to, I think, a couple of the comics. 0.99

02:14:51.000 And I guess, I don't know exactly...

02:14:53.000 I heard about it after the ball had already been rolling.

02:14:56.000 So somehow, Roland got nervous that he was going to release it.

02:15:00.000 And maybe Opie was teased.

02:15:01.000 I don't know what Opie said to him.

02:15:02.000 I really don't.

02:15:03.000 But I think that it got back to one of Roland's bosses.

02:15:06.000 And then the head of the talent department spoke to him.

02:15:08.000 And then once Human Resources got involved, then things change.

02:15:13.000 And I remember there was a clip... 0.94

02:15:17.000 It was getting bad, and there was another producer in the studio named Paul, and he was videotaping it, and I think he had been on Roland's side, and he thought Opie was being a dick to him.

02:15:27.000 He's like, you're being a dick to me, and Opie's like, yeah, because you chose Roland in this whole thing, like making it a public thing that was really uncomfortable, and then Paul goes, yeah, well, I thought it was wrong, and then Sherrod goes like, ah, he was having fun. 0.58

02:15:38.000 We all saw the tape. 0.98

02:15:38.000 He was enjoying it. 0.98

02:15:39.000 He was laughing, and when I heard that, I'm like, oh no.

02:15:43.000 He just said we all saw the tape.

02:15:46.000 Saw the tape.

02:15:46.000 That just made it...

02:15:48.000 And again, maybe they were going to fire him anyway.

02:15:50.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:15:50.000 They don't tell me that shit. 1.00

02:15:53.000 But he thinks that the company was out to get him. 1.00

02:15:57.000 I don't know.

02:15:58.000 And again, I don't know what they said to him privately.

02:16:00.000 But to me, he had two months left on his deal, and no company wants to fire you two months out because of the potential...

02:16:08.000 Lawsuits.

02:16:09.000 Lawsuits.

02:16:09.000 They would much rather let you ride it out and then just not re-sign you.

02:16:12.000 Well, Sirius is in a weird place because of podcasts.

02:16:16.000 Yes.

02:16:16.000 I mean, it's just in a very weird place.

02:16:17.000 The idea of paying money for these talk shows that are going to get interrupted by commercials and to have to listen to them only when they come on and not have them on demand, it's such an inferior distribution method.

02:16:29.000 Well, they are on demand.

02:16:29.000 Now they're on demand.

02:16:31.000 On your phone?

02:16:31.000 An hour after it's up, you can get it.

02:16:33.000 An hour after it's up.

02:16:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:16:35.000 But live.

02:16:35.000 You can listen live on the phone and get it on...

02:16:38.000 What I'm saying is on your radio.

02:16:40.000 If you're in your car and you can't just pick, I want to listen to Tuesday's Opie and Anthony show or Jim Norton and Sam show.

02:16:48.000 I can't just pick that.

02:16:50.000 I don't know if you can, unless you have a phone hooked.

02:16:52.000 There might be a way to do it.

02:16:53.000 There might be a phone hooked up.

02:16:54.000 I think so, yeah.

02:16:55.000 Right, but I don't think you could do that.

02:16:56.000 Like, Sirius Radio is only playing what's playing right now.

02:17:01.000 I think so, but I could be wrong.

02:17:02.000 You might be right.

02:17:04.000 I don't know.

02:17:04.000 I mean, I don't have a thing where I could just pick an episode.

02:17:09.000 How is a podcast played in a car?

02:17:11.000 You just get...

02:17:12.000 There's a bunch of different ways.

02:17:14.000 One, you can do it where you can stream it live through YouTube.

02:17:28.000 Okay.

02:17:40.000 Or they just get it off of iTunes.

02:17:42.000 But the thing about it is that if you have your phone Bluetooth up, literally all you have to do is press play, and it'll immediately play whatever episode.

02:17:50.000 You can scroll through our stuff.

02:17:54.000 It works with Siri now, too, on the new operating system.

02:17:57.000 I think they just asked for it.

02:17:58.000 Yeah, you could play it for Siri.

02:18:00.000 But if you go through...

02:18:02.000 Have you ever done...

02:18:03.000 Do you use it?

02:18:04.000 Do you use iTunes?

02:18:06.000 Or the podcast app?

02:18:07.000 I never look at podcast standings.

02:18:09.000 These are all my most...

02:18:11.000 The recent ones of all the ones that I subscribe to.

02:18:13.000 I can just take one, click it, and boom.

02:18:16.000 Now it's playing.

02:18:17.000 Yeah.

02:18:18.000 I mean, that's just...

02:18:19.000 It's done differently on Sirius, yeah.

02:18:21.000 The app you have to use...

02:18:22.000 The on-demand is pretty good, but I think an hour after it airs, you can get it forever.

02:18:26.000 That's good.

02:18:27.000 I don't re-listen to the show.

02:18:29.000 I mean, I never listen to our show.

02:18:31.000 I listen to it on drives, and I'm like, wow, I kind of like it.

02:18:34.000 It's new.

02:18:35.000 We finally got Anthony back in the building.

02:18:37.000 He's allowed to come on as a guest?

02:18:39.000 In the building.

02:18:40.000 I fought for three years for that, and literally right after he got fired, they let Anthony back in.

02:18:44.000 After Opie got fired.

02:18:45.000 Yeah, and I'm not saying Opie kept him out.

02:18:46.000 I don't know.

02:18:46.000 To be really honest, I don't know.

02:18:48.000 I don't think that he actively kept him out, no.

02:18:50.000 Do they know the real numbers?

02:18:52.000 Like, do they ever tell you how many people are actually listening?

02:18:54.000 Never.

02:18:55.000 I don't know if they know.

02:18:56.000 I mean, I don't know how they would track that.

02:18:58.000 They may.

02:18:59.000 But they don't.

02:19:00.000 And a part of me is like, I really want to know because it will give us negotiating power.

02:19:03.000 And a part of me is like, I really don't want to know.

02:19:05.000 But the fact that we're getting raised is I think we're doing okay.

02:19:07.000 Like, that's the only way I can tell is that I know that they want to keep me every time the contract says, okay, we must be doing okay.

02:19:14.000 But no, I don't know what the numbers are.

02:19:16.000 It's just, it's amazing how quickly it became a different thing.

02:19:19.000 You know, like, I remember when Howard went to Sirius, it was like, wow, hallelujah, finally we're gonna get uncensored radio.

02:19:27.000 And then it became, well, it's still just radio.

02:19:29.000 It's still just radio.

02:19:30.000 It's still live, and now you have to pay for it?

02:19:33.000 Now it's ten bucks a month?

02:19:34.000 I mean, he made out, like, abandoned.

02:19:36.000 I mean, he made ridiculous sums of money from it.

02:19:39.000 Sure.

02:19:39.000 But where's the future in that?

02:19:41.000 It just seems like that's a...

02:19:43.000 It's like almost like investing and I mean if you're if you're someone who's got a piece of that It's like where's that going?

02:19:49.000 Like how are you gonna keep you can't even use it in a tunnel?

02:19:52.000 You know the thing was serious and this is this is like a scary for job security But they're really Scott is good at getting big-name talent like a Beatles channel and all this stuff there And they're good at getting good good name big-name people doing shows like Ferguson's on their channel.

02:20:08.000 Yeah, I know faction We're those are on faction now Faction Talk.

02:20:12.000 Yeah, I hate the name because it doesn't say comedy, but whatever, it is what it is.

02:20:15.000 It's us, and then Camino and Rich, and then Ellis, and then Craig, and then Nick DiPaolo, who has a very funny show.

02:20:22.000 He's hilarious. 0.93

02:20:22.000 Nick is a fucking savagely funny guy. 0.93

02:20:25.000 I love that guy. 0.96

02:20:26.000 I do too. 0.99

02:20:26.000 He's just a fucking raw... 0.99

02:20:28.000 Fucking bark out a joke funny guy. 1.00

02:20:31.000 Here's the thing about Nick. 0.99

02:20:32.000 He's never afraid to try to be funny.

02:20:35.000 I've done a lot of projects with him.

02:20:36.000 We did Tough Crowd for two years.

02:20:37.000 I've just done a shitload of stuff. 0.99

02:20:39.000 Like Nick will fucking fire lines out. 0.97

02:20:42.000 And I've always admired him for that because sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. 0.99

02:20:45.000 But he's unafraid. 0.98

02:20:46.000 He's a funny fucking dude and he's unafraid to bark stuff out and be who he is. 0.99

02:20:51.000 I love that. 0.99

02:20:52.000 And he does a great show.

02:20:53.000 He's a really surprisingly good radio guy with going to breaks and all that stuff.

02:20:57.000 Well, he did it for a long time with Artie, remember?

02:21:00.000 That's right.

02:21:00.000 Yes, I was on that show.

02:21:02.000 I remember watching the one blowout that they had, where Nick was trying to do some read that they had to do, and Artie just wanted to kind of fuck off. 0.99

02:21:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:21:11.000 You can't let it get to you like that.

02:21:12.000 We've had the blowouts.

02:21:13.000 I've been through them.

02:21:14.000 I've seen them.

02:21:15.000 Me and Ant never had one.

02:21:16.000 I love Ant.

02:21:17.000 I just wrote the foreword to his book.

02:21:20.000 I don't know if I'm supposed to say that, but too bad I'm proud of it. 0.98

02:21:22.000 I fucking love him. 0.91

02:21:23.000 And he's doing a show with Artie now, right? 0.99

02:21:24.000 The AA show. 0.99

02:21:27.000 The fucking greatest name. 0.99

02:21:29.000 They had a great billboard for it, and it's really funny, man. 0.99

02:21:33.000 It's really funny.

02:21:34.000 Do you have to subscribe to listen to that?

02:21:35.000 You do, to the compound, yeah.

02:21:36.000 How much does that cost?

02:21:37.000 I honestly don't know.

02:21:38.000 I do pay for it, though.

02:21:39.000 He offered me a free one, but I'm like, I'll chime in. 0.98

02:21:41.000 I mean, I'll fucking chip in.

02:21:43.000 And it's doing well for him, that whole compound meeting? 0.98

02:21:45.000 Oh, yeah.

02:21:45.000 Yeah, he hasn't skipped a beat.

02:21:46.000 His life is fucking doing great. 0.98

02:21:48.000 Yeah, isn't that a great thing? 0.99

02:21:49.000 Both are mug shots.

02:21:50.000 They're real, legit mug shots.

02:21:52.000 Yeah.

02:21:52.000 That's hilarious.

02:21:53.000 They did it, yeah.

02:21:55.000 Compound Media.

02:21:56.000 I like how he called it Compound Media, too, because, oh, look at the AA show.

02:21:59.000 Great poster.

02:22:00.000 Coming September 5th.

02:22:01.000 Now, can you get that on your phone?

02:22:02.000 Oh, yeah.

02:22:03.000 You can get it on an app?

02:22:04.000 Yep, I have the Anthony Comey app.

02:22:05.000 You can listen to it in the car?

02:22:06.000 You can listen to it in the car.

02:22:08.000 But yeah, I love him, too.

02:22:10.000 He's one of my favorite people ever.

02:22:11.000 He's literally somebody who I don't think I'll ever not be close to.

02:22:14.000 There's no one creating...

02:22:15.000 Like, I love Sam.

02:22:16.000 I love all these guys I've worked with.

02:22:17.000 But Anthony, there was a weird...

02:22:19.000 It's a comic thing that happens when you're going back and forth with somebody that's an energy you're exchanging.

02:22:25.000 There are Jim Norton laugh compilations. 0.99

02:22:27.000 I never listen to my own shit. 0.99

02:22:28.000 I don't listen to the old show. 1.00

02:22:29.000 I can't listen to it.

02:22:30.000 But those I can listen to because they're all Anthony just making me laugh. 0.98

02:22:34.000 It's not me saying funny shit. 0.99

02:22:35.000 It's Anthony saying funny shit. 1.00

02:22:37.000 That every time fucking gets me. 1.00

02:22:39.000 He would literally make me laugh like that wheeze laugh that an audience member gets. 0.99

02:22:43.000 I'm like, I never get to fucking feel that way. 0.85

02:22:46.000 What's crazy is he's not a stand-up. 0.99

02:22:48.000 He's not a stand-up.

02:22:49.000 He's done it a little bit, but in that room...

02:22:51.000 Did he?

02:22:52.000 Yeah, he tried it a couple...

02:22:53.000 In Montreal a couple years ago. 1.00

02:22:55.000 No shit. 0.99

02:22:56.000 Just to do it. 0.99

02:22:56.000 After he'd been fired? 0.99

02:22:58.000 Oh my god.

02:22:58.000 No, no.

02:22:59.000 This is when Opie and Anthony were supposed to do a show together to host a comedy show in Montreal.

02:23:03.000 I was part of the show.

02:23:04.000 But Opie went home for some reason.

02:23:06.000 He flew home a day early.

02:23:07.000 He didn't want to do it. 0.99

02:23:07.000 So Ant just did it by himself and hosted the show and started shitting on the comedians. 0.99

02:23:11.000 And he was really funny. 0.99

02:23:12.000 First time ever on stage, he was fucking funny. 0.99

02:23:14.000 Wow. 0.99

02:23:15.000 But in a comic room, Patrice said that about him.

02:23:18.000 He said, Anthony can access funny faster than any person I've ever seen.

02:23:23.000 And Patrice didn't hand out, he was not known as the big, oh boy, that guy doling out compliments again.

02:23:28.000 That was not Patrice's reputation.

02:23:30.000 But Anthony has that ability to reach in and grab funny from anywhere.

02:23:34.000 And he's as fast as any comic we've ever had on.

02:23:37.000 There's never been a comedian in there who was faster than him.

02:23:40.000 They've been as fast as him.

02:23:41.000 Guys like Patrice or Burr or Genius.

02:23:43.000 But there's no one who's ever been able to go in there and run circles around Anthony. 0.76

02:23:47.000 It's staggering how fucking funny that guy is.

02:23:48.000 Yeah, it is weird. 0.97

02:23:49.000 It's like he's a comic who never became a comic.

02:23:52.000 That's how I've always felt about being around him.

02:23:54.000 Yeah.

02:23:54.000 And even Dice said that about him.

02:23:56.000 When Dice was shitting on Opie and Anthony when they had a feud together, he was saying that Anthony's actually talented.

02:24:01.000 He's actually almost like a comic, but he never did it.

02:24:04.000 He never did it.

02:24:05.000 And Anthony has an ability.

02:24:06.000 Brewer's an amazing storyteller, too.

02:24:08.000 An amazing storyteller.

02:24:10.000 Whereas Ant could do that.

02:24:12.000 He would talk about being a tin knocker and stuff I have no knowledge of or interest in.

02:24:18.000 And he would have me on the edge of my seat listening to him talk about it.

02:24:21.000 He just has a gift for explaining things and for walking you through it.

02:24:25.000 Louis has that.

02:24:26.000 The ability to explain in an amazingly interesting fashion.

02:24:29.000 And Anthony can just jump in and out of voices and do impressions. 0.96

02:24:32.000 I mean, I never get sick of rambling about him because I got to work with him for a fucking decade. 0.97

02:24:36.000 I got to work with the funniest guy in the fucking world for a decade. 0.97

02:24:39.000 Like, as much as it sucks that it's over, like, I'm grateful I had that. 0.68

02:24:43.000 Would you want to do it again?

02:24:44.000 100%.

02:24:44.000 I mean, have you thought about doing that?

02:24:46.000 I would love to do it with him and Sam.

02:24:47.000 I mean, me and Opie don't get along anymore, but I would love to have Anthony with me and Sam.

02:24:51.000 But again, he's got his own show.

02:24:53.000 It's not going to happen.

02:24:53.000 But I love...

02:24:55.000 Sam and I have a very good chemistry and a comfort level.

02:24:58.000 I like him and I trust him on the air.

02:25:00.000 And with Opie, it just got bad.

02:25:02.000 I'm not blaming him.

02:25:02.000 It's like, hey, I was half the problem, too.

02:25:04.000 But what about you doing a show with Anthony?

02:25:06.000 Like a compound media show?

02:25:07.000 You know, compound media is, again, a more enclosed environment than Sirius is.

02:25:11.000 And because of gigs and other things I've got to promote, I want it to stay.

02:25:15.000 And also Sirius pays more.

02:25:16.000 And I didn't want to negotiate against Anthony.

02:25:18.000 I wasn't going to use him as a negotiation tactic.

02:25:22.000 I didn't want to do it.

02:25:22.000 I couldn't do it.

02:25:24.000 I'm too close to him.

02:25:25.000 And I always kind of secretly wanted him to come back. 0.99

02:25:27.000 And when he came back, the first day he came back, I mean, seeing that fucking... 0.99

02:25:33.000 We went to a Springsteen... 0.99

02:25:35.000 No, who played? 1.00

02:25:36.000 Oh, Guns N' Roses played at the fucking... 1.00

02:25:39.000 The Apollo. 0.99

02:25:40.000 So this was like right after Opie got fired.

02:25:41.000 So I saw Scott Greenstein that night, or Andrew, and they're like, yeah, he can come in.

02:25:45.000 Anthony can come in.

02:25:45.000 I'm like, really?

02:25:46.000 They're like, yeah, he can come in.

02:25:47.000 I'm like, great.

02:25:47.000 I texted him.

02:25:48.000 Come in tomorrow.

02:25:49.000 The minute he can come in.

02:25:51.000 But security hadn't been told.

02:25:53.000 So I'm on the show, and I know Ant's coming in. 0.99

02:25:55.000 It's going to be a fucking surprise for the audience. 0.98

02:25:57.000 But he's being held up at security. 0.98

02:25:59.000 Because in fairness, they needed an email from Scott.

02:26:01.000 They didn't know that it had been okayed.

02:26:03.000 Right.

02:26:03.000 And it took about an hour or 40 minutes, but he got up.

02:26:05.000 And seeing him walk down that, oh, fuck, it was so good. 0.98

02:26:09.000 Look at him there. 0.99

02:26:10.000 Yeah, he was happy.

02:26:10.000 You very rarely see that on his face.

02:26:12.000 It was so good, but you just go right back into that and Sam is so perfect in that moment, too.

02:26:19.000 You just kind of go back into it and you flow and, you know, so I miss him a lot, but...

02:26:24.000 Uncensored conversations, they're just hard to come by and when you're under the corporate umbrella, you're not really uncensored.

02:26:31.000 There's always going to be something that you can't say, something that can get you in trouble, which is why I was always encouraging you to do a podcast, like even way back in the day.

02:26:38.000 I was like, you should branch out.

02:26:40.000 You should do something on your own on a side.

02:26:42.000 I feel like people wouldn't want...

02:26:43.000 I've always felt people wouldn't want it or they were sick of me or they're not interested. 0.99

02:26:46.000 But again, the closest I've come at this point is fucking dumb chip. 0.97

02:26:49.000 I may do my own someday, but I'm literally loving doing that. 0.99

02:26:52.000 It's freedom and it's fun.

02:26:54.000 Do what you love then, but...

02:26:56.000 You know, I mean, I know you love doing the Sam and Jim show, too, but I really feel like even that show would be bigger if it was just accessible to everybody and not on Sirius.

02:27:06.000 It might be.

02:27:06.000 And again, we have one more year left on the contract, and it is something I would do as a podcast.

02:27:10.000 It absolutely is something I would do as a podcast. 0.99

02:27:13.000 But they don't want to say one thing in their favor, besides the fact, like, yeah, there's human resources, and, you know, you can't go around fucking grabbing clits. 1.00

02:27:19.000 They never fuck with us creatively. 0.99

02:27:23.000 Like, literally... 0.97

02:27:24.000 Never.

02:27:25.000 They say nothing.

02:27:25.000 Yeah, but there was that whole thing with Condoleezza Rice where you guys got kicked off the air because they had the homeless guy.

02:27:31.000 Here's what that was.

02:27:32.000 You're right.

02:27:32.000 Homeless Charlie.

02:27:33.000 And he's like, what about that Bush bitch? 1.00

02:27:35.000 He was just a funny fucking dude. 1.00

02:27:37.000 Here's how that got pushed. 0.98

02:27:39.000 That was before Sirius and XM merged.

02:27:41.000 Right. 0.95

02:27:41.000 And what sunk, what almost happened was that made it to fucking Breitbart and then got onto Drudge and then became a big deal. 0.95

02:27:49.000 And I heard later that the people who were making that a story were the people who worked in terrestrial radio who did not want that merger to happen.

02:27:58.000 So the only reason the company pulled them off is they were literally scared that it was going to hurt whatever they needed in Congress to make the merger happen.

02:28:06.000 To make the XM series merger.

02:28:07.000 Yeah, so they were saying, is merger in danger?

02:28:09.000 Once that got out there... 0.98

02:28:11.000 And fucking either way, we shouldn't have been off the air. 0.97

02:28:13.000 But as crazy as it was, that's where Terrestrial Radio saved us. 1.00

02:28:17.000 Because K-Rock, who they wanted me off the fucking show, those cunts, I fucking hate that. 1.00

02:28:21.000 They wanted you off K-Rock? 0.99

02:28:23.000 Yeah, because the ratings weren't as good as they used to be, and they thought I was the problem. 0.99

02:28:26.000 It's like, hey, fucking shitheads, I was there in the afternoon before syndication. 0.98

02:28:30.000 I was with Lovie and Anthony before they were ever... 1.00

02:28:32.000 I love people going, yeah, dude, you suck. 0.98

02:28:33.000 I remember Philadelphia before you were on. 0.99

02:28:35.000 No, you don't.

02:28:36.000 It didn't happen before I was on.

02:28:38.000 There was no Philly show before I was on.

02:28:39.000 I was always there on syndication.

02:28:42.000 So whatever.

02:28:42.000 Anyway, they went to...

02:28:43.000 I know, I know, I know, I know.

02:28:45.000 I literally will do that alone.

02:28:48.000 Dude, I didn't realize that people don't talk to themselves.

02:28:52.000 I didn't realize that.

02:28:53.000 And with Chip and the characters, and I've talked about this on our show, I do it all the time by myself.

02:29:00.000 You have conversations by yourself?

02:29:02.000 Full-blown, Chip, Edgar...

02:29:04.000 Out loud.

02:29:04.000 Oh!

02:29:05.000 Full-volume talking.

02:29:07.000 You do them in character?

02:29:09.000 Once in a while.

02:29:10.000 If I think of something as Edgar, I'll say it.

02:29:12.000 Who's Edgar?

02:29:13.000 He's another one.

02:29:14.000 He's a bad character.

02:29:15.000 He just has dry teeth.

02:29:16.000 There's not a whole lot to him.

02:29:19.000 But I would do them because Anthony, he touches you with his sharp fingernails.

02:29:22.000 It's an ugly thing.

02:29:24.000 And Uncle Paul.

02:29:25.000 I do them.

02:29:26.000 You do them when you're alone?

02:29:27.000 Completely alone.

02:29:28.000 Wow.

02:29:28.000 And I do.

02:29:29.000 When I'm alone, if I drop something, I'll go, okay.

02:29:33.000 That's about it.

02:29:35.000 I'll walk around and talk to myself in full-blown conversation.

02:29:40.000 I'm actually embarrassed to admit this. 0.99

02:29:42.000 I took a shit today and I got up and I was done and I went to the fucking to look at my computer and I had to shit again immediately and I stood up and out loud I said, oh that just jostled a little more loose and I walked back to the toilet. 0.98

02:29:55.000 I said those words to myself alone. 0.99

02:29:59.000 I do it all the time dude.

02:30:01.000 I talk and I didn't know I thought everyone did that.

02:30:03.000 But Sam's like, no, I'll think things, but I don't say them.

02:30:07.000 Yeah, I would imagine most people think things, but a few people talk to themselves.

02:30:10.000 I'm sure I've done it on occasion, but it's not a normal thing.

02:30:13.000 In the shower I do it, out loud, just full conversation.

02:30:16.000 For me, when I'm alone, I'm happy to not talk. 0.99

02:30:18.000 I talk so fucking much. 0.94

02:30:20.000 I talk so much doing a podcast, so much doing stand-up, so much doing UFC commentary. 0.98

02:30:24.000 When I can not talk at all, I'm fucking happy. 0.86

02:30:27.000 Yeah, I don't know what it is. 0.85

02:30:29.000 It's like things that just kind of come out, or I work through things, or I work through this girlfriend's argument, you know, whatever it is in the moment, and I logically talk things through. 0.98

02:30:38.000 But yeah, that's where a lot of the character shit comes from, is I'll start thinking of it, or I'll talk in a weird voice, and there'll be something that resonates with me, and I'm like, ugh, I'm stuck in my fucking head, man. 0.94

02:30:47.000 And once it's stuck in my head, then I bring it out on the air, and that's when it gets stuck in everybody else's head. 0.97

02:30:52.000 Like, if it's bothering me for a month, you're gonna hate it.

02:30:55.000 You know, and I like to bring that stuff...

02:30:57.000 Out. 1.00

02:30:58.000 That's where half that shit comes from, just being single. 1.00

02:31:00.000 Jesus. 1.00

02:31:00.000 Fucking lonely. 1.00

02:31:01.000 I gotta wrap this up. 0.98

02:31:03.000 Okay, buddy.

02:31:03.000 Just being single.

02:31:03.000 This was so much fun, Joe.

02:31:05.000 Always a good time, brother.

02:31:06.000 Anytime you're in town, man, just let me know.

02:31:08.000 Let's do this more often.

02:31:09.000 Can I plug my tour?

02:31:10.000 Yes, yes.

02:31:11.000 Nearly room only.

02:31:12.000 All tickets are on sale if you want to go.

02:31:13.000 And I'm in Dallas and Austin this week, and the money's going to the hurricane.

02:31:18.000 I hate saying that.

02:31:19.000 It feels cheesy, but I feel worse going in and prostituting tickets.

02:31:23.000 Check me and Sam out or go to jimnorton.com or go to Chip Chipperson.

02:31:28.000 Riot Casts YouTube has all the Chip podcasts up there. 0.98

02:31:32.000 This one this week is going to be a fucking doozy. 0.98

02:31:35.000 Jim Norton, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99

02:31:41.000 That was great.

02:31:42.000 Thanks, buddy.

The Joe Rogan Experience - September 28, 2017

Joe Rogan Experience #1017 - Jim Norton

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