The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1045 - Bryan Callen

00:00:05.000 I was listening to some old-timey music the other day, and it was making me think of how depressing it would be if that was the only music that you could hear.

00:00:15.000 It's the David Lynch movie.

00:00:16.000 David Lynch, in his movies, he always has those songs, like there's a woman dead in a hotel, and there's just this...

00:00:27.000 Can you imagine living in the days where that tuba with a needle at the bottom of it?

00:00:31.000 My grandfather had one of those.

00:00:33.000 Really?

00:00:33.000 In my home in Pelham, in his home in Pelham, New York, they had an old chronograph.

00:00:38.000 I think that's what it's called, right?

00:00:39.000 That's crazy.

00:00:39.000 A chronograph, and they would play classical.

00:00:43.000 My grandparents never listened to, they were Sicilian, they never listened to music. 1.00

00:00:47.000 Did your parents or your grandparents have the TV in a cabinet?

00:00:50.000 Uh-huh.

00:00:52.000 They certainly did.

00:00:53.000 And then if the TV would die, a lot of times folks would put the new TV on top of the cabinet.

00:00:57.000 They would keep the cabinet with the blown out TV. Yeah.

00:01:02.000 Dude, everybody did that!

00:01:03.000 Well, I had a family that never threw anything away.

00:01:05.000 No, mine not.

00:01:06.000 Never, ever.

00:01:06.000 I'm talking about road cones.

00:01:08.000 You go up to my attic, you find crazy shit up there. 0.99

00:01:11.000 Yes. 0.99

00:01:12.000 A phonograph, not a chronograph.

00:01:14.000 A phonograph.

00:01:14.000 What's a chronograph?

00:01:15.000 But they also had a chronograph.

00:01:16.000 A watch.

00:01:17.000 Oh, right, right.

00:01:18.000 Yeah.

00:01:19.000 Yeah, I mean, chronology. 0.99

00:01:20.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:01:21.000 Yeah, those things are crazy. 1.00

00:01:23.000 Like, that was how they used to listen to music.

00:01:25.000 A tuba attached to a needle.

00:01:27.000 That's right.

00:01:28.000 And you'd hear... 1.00

00:01:29.000 And the speaker must have sounded like dog shit. 1.00

00:01:33.000 My dad used to have a dust cover for his turntable. 1.00

00:01:35.000 And he would...

00:01:37.000 There was a ritual to how you clean your LP. Oh, there's a ritual?

00:01:41.000 Yeah.

00:01:42.000 You gotta dust it off. 0.99

00:01:43.000 You have a special cloth and all that shit. 0.98

00:01:44.000 Look at that thing. 0.99

00:01:45.000 Yep. 1.00

00:01:45.000 Just take a peek at that fucker. 1.00

00:01:47.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:01:48.000 That's nuts.

00:01:49.000 It's incredible.

00:01:49.000 For people at home, it looks like...

00:01:51.000 It does look like a traffic cone.

00:01:53.000 Right?

00:01:54.000 It does, right?

00:01:55.000 Like a big old brass traffic car.

00:01:57.000 I read that Ted Williams, the great baseball player, Ted Williams, who could hit a fastball, hit any kind of ball, and he apparently could read the label of a record as it was going around. 0.97

00:02:11.000 His eyes could slow shit down. 1.00

00:02:13.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:02:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:02:16.000 I wonder if that's true.

00:02:17.000 I wonder, well, yeah.

00:02:18.000 These are one of these things you hear, right?

00:02:20.000 Yeah.

00:02:21.000 Like Joe Frazier was in a hotel room.

00:02:22.000 There were four flies in the room.

00:02:24.000 Sorry about the flies.

00:02:25.000 And he went, and caught them all.

00:02:27.000 And he goes, here are your flies. 1.00

00:02:28.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:02:29.000 Eddie Griffin was telling us a Bruce Lee story once. 0.99

00:02:32.000 It was one of those.

00:02:34.000 I heard that Bruce Lee was in a fight with 30 men.

00:02:39.000 And he stood in the center of all of them.

00:02:40.000 And you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:02:41.000 Where'd you hear this?

00:02:42.000 I heard he never was in a ring.

00:02:45.000 I heard he never sparred once.

00:02:48.000 I don't think Bruce Lee ever fought.

00:02:50.000 Well, it says it here.

00:02:50.000 Did he ever fight competitively?

00:02:51.000 It was rumored.

00:02:52.000 No, but he did one thing once where he sparred at this karate festival.

00:02:57.000 One sparring session.

00:02:59.000 Cool.

00:02:59.000 All right, well, good luck.

00:03:00.000 Well, there you can see.

00:03:01.000 Good luck against a guy like Darren Till.

00:03:03.000 No, good luck to everybody against a guy like Darren Till.

00:03:06.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:03:07.000 Good luck.

00:03:07.000 I mean, God.

00:03:08.000 Yeah.

00:03:09.000 Vinny Shorman, who is...

00:03:11.000 He does color commentary for a lot of big Muay Thai events.

00:03:14.000 Yeah.

00:03:15.000 And super knowledgeable, like as a striker.

00:03:17.000 And he's also a hypnotist.

00:03:19.000 I got hypnotized by him a couple times.

00:03:21.000 Really?

00:03:22.000 I kept my pants on. 1.00

00:03:23.000 Damn it. 1.00

00:03:23.000 But he got me. 1.00

00:03:24.000 Sorry.

00:03:24.000 Yeah, he hypnotized me.

00:03:26.000 Fascinating.

00:03:26.000 Hypnotism is fascinating.

00:03:27.000 Did you get hypnotized?

00:03:28.000 Because you're...

00:03:29.000 100%.

00:03:29.000 Really?

00:03:30.000 Yeah, I gave in to it.

00:03:30.000 Just let yourself achieve the state.

00:03:33.000 But you realize what it is.

00:03:35.000 It's like, oh, you've got this idea where someone can turn you into a Manchurian candidate if they hypnotize you and you wouldn't have control of your brain anymore. 0.96

00:03:43.000 No, no, no.

00:03:44.000 You're relaxing.

00:03:45.000 You're relaxing and you're open to suggestion in an interesting state of mind that you can achieve.

00:03:50.000 See, I just think there's a larger spectrum Of the way the mind works then we give it credit for and I think what I've been thinking about this a lot that that's one of the things that happens with stand-up I think if you're on stage and you're killing and stand-up if I'm in the audience It's like you've got me hypnotized.

00:04:09.000 I'm locked up into your line of thinking and Like your act is very silly So like when I'm watching you like I start thinking in silly ways And then you'll keep getting sillier and sillier and then like I'm locked into your head.

00:04:22.000 It's like a full. 0.95

00:04:23.000 It's a form of hypnosis 100% And I think that so is, like, being in a good place.

00:04:29.000 Thank you, young Jamie.

00:04:30.000 So is being in a good place mentally, so is being in a bad place.

00:04:33.000 I think there's, like, there's a large spectrum in the mind of all these different...

00:04:39.000 Cheers. 1.00

00:04:39.000 Where are you going, fucker? 1.00

00:04:40.000 You can't... 1.00

00:04:41.000 What kind of wine is this?

00:04:42.000 Stag's leaf.

00:04:43.000 Stag's leaf is fantastic.

00:04:44.000 Artemis.

00:04:45.000 Cheers, James.

00:04:45.000 It's all right.

00:04:46.000 It's a solid wine.

00:04:47.000 It's a good juice, guys.

00:04:47.000 My gentleman.

00:04:48.000 I like when people do this.

00:04:49.000 It's a good juice.

00:04:50.000 Mmm. 0.98

00:04:51.000 Hey, those guys are gross. 0.97

00:04:52.000 Hey, you guys who say it's a good juice and you're talking about wine. 0.98

00:04:55.000 It's a sexy juice.

00:04:56.000 Stop talking to me.

00:04:56.000 Honestly, it's a sexy juice.

00:04:57.000 It kind of feels like a...

00:04:57.000 Can't talk to you.

00:04:59.000 It's like taking a big bite out of wet hay.

00:05:01.000 Not gonna do it.

00:05:03.000 It's like having a wet dog...

00:05:05.000 It's a great juice.

00:05:06.000 ...shake itself at you.

00:05:07.000 Have you ever gone to a real wine tasting with a bunch of nerds?

00:05:10.000 Sure have.

00:05:11.000 Because I'm one of those nerds.

00:05:13.000 Have you ever gone to a wine tasting where you graded a wine?

00:05:17.000 No.

00:05:17.000 And you stood up and said it has woody aftertones and there's a...

00:05:20.000 I was invited by a guy a long time ago, 20 years ago...

00:05:26.000 And he said, I'm going to invite you to a wine tasting where we all bring our own wines.

00:05:30.000 He's a good guy.

00:05:31.000 I said, well, what do I bring?

00:05:33.000 And he said, I don't want to insult you, but you can't afford the kind of wines that we're bringing.

00:05:37.000 So I'm going to bring you a bottle from my cellar so it doesn't make you look.

00:05:40.000 That's how big these wines were.

00:05:42.000 And I was there with the guy from like Zaki's or whatever, the different Sotheby's.

00:05:48.000 The guys that set the standard and write the thing.

00:05:50.000 And I was watching him taste it and write down notes.

00:05:53.000 It was really wild.

00:05:54.000 Nutmeg, leather, mushrooms, earth, you know, all kinds of weird tasting notes.

00:06:01.000 It's so subjective.

00:06:02.000 My buddy Matt is a huge wine head.

00:06:05.000 He's got his own cellar in his house.

00:06:07.000 It's all temperature controlled.

00:06:09.000 If I'm at a restaurant, I'll call Matt.

00:06:12.000 Powerful Matt Lichtenberg.

00:06:13.000 I'll call him up and I'll go, hey, okay, let me tell you what I got.

00:06:17.000 Tell me what to get. 0.91

00:06:18.000 And he'll just like, oh, the reason why this one sucks and stay away from this one and this is what you want. 0.84

00:06:23.000 That's your groove right there. 0.91

00:06:24.000 Grab that one. 1.00

00:06:24.000 I'm like, okay. 1.00

00:06:25.000 And he's always right.

00:06:26.000 Yeah.

00:06:28.000 LeBron's been known as a new wine head.

00:06:31.000 Oh, LeBron.

00:06:31.000 Okay, that Sassikai is a ridiculously good one.

00:06:34.000 I've had that at 97. So LeBron is a wine head.

00:06:37.000 Powerful!

00:06:38.000 Yeah, he has quite a few bottles of Opus One, apparently, which is...

00:06:42.000 Opus One is not...

00:06:43.000 That Sassikai is way better than Opus One. 1.00

00:06:45.000 Look at what he wrote here.

00:06:46.000 Last night was mad real.

00:06:47.000 Fresh out of Advil.

00:06:49.000 Jesus grabbed the wheel.

00:06:50.000 Sheesh. 1.00

00:06:51.000 Imagine getting fucked up with LeBron James. 0.99

00:06:54.000 I think I brought that wine to your, the one with the yellow label. 0.99

00:06:57.000 I think you did.

00:06:58.000 I think I brought that here.

00:06:59.000 I think you did, yeah.

00:07:00.000 That looks very familiar.

00:07:02.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:07:02.000 And some good-ass fucking wine. 0.99

00:07:04.000 Chasson Montruchet. 1.00

00:07:05.000 Good-ass wine, Mr. Super Athlete.

00:07:07.000 There you go.

00:07:08.000 That's a real one.

00:07:10.000 There's some real super athletes we gotta listen.

00:07:12.000 He's an avatar. 0.99

00:07:13.000 I don't give a fuck what kind of steroids you take. 0.99

00:07:15.000 You ain't never gonna look like that! 1.00

00:07:18.000 Never!

00:07:20.000 There's human beings that have just the most unfathomable physical advantages. 0.98

00:07:26.000 It's ridiculous.

00:07:27.000 Like, LeBron James would have an unfathomable physical advantage over someone who would have an unfathomable physical advantage over you. 0.92

00:07:36.000 Yeah.

00:07:36.000 Well, I did a thing.

00:07:37.000 I asked the guy who follows this, Jimmy Burke, about LeBron James.

00:07:40.000 I called him up and I left him one message.

00:07:43.000 I go, I said, Jim, and I want you to be honest and don't insult me.

00:07:47.000 At what age did LeBron James surpass me as an athlete? 0.99

00:07:51.000 And be careful with your fucking answer. 1.00

00:07:53.000 Because I'm a proud man. 1.00

00:07:55.000 I'm a proud man and I'll kick your fucking ass. 1.00

00:07:57.000 I hung up the phone. 1.00

00:07:58.000 I got a very thoughtful, very thoughtful dissertation and I just got this.

00:08:03.000 12 years old.

00:08:04.000 And there's no question about that.

00:08:06.000 12. By the time he was 14, he's 6'4", 235. Best player in the country.

00:08:09.000 You were not that.

00:08:10.000 You're not even close to that.

00:08:11.000 He was 14?

00:08:12.000 He was 6'4"?

00:08:13.000 Yeah, I think he was 6'4".

00:08:14.000 Look at him. 0.96

00:08:14.000 Yeah, he's a freak. 0.96

00:08:15.000 Yeah, there you go. 0.90

00:08:16.000 Look at the size of him.

00:08:17.000 Oh my God.

00:08:18.000 Yeah, he's 6'9", 265. And I sat next to Carlos Puzer, who played with him.

00:08:22.000 And they're the same size.

00:08:24.000 And he goes, he's just a step faster than everybody as well.

00:08:27.000 And just ridiculously strong. 1.00

00:08:28.000 Well, see, a guy like that, if he was fighting, everybody would be fucked. 1.00

00:08:33.000 Of course. 1.00

00:08:34.000 They're lucky. 0.96

00:08:35.000 They are goddamn lucky there's that much money in basketball. 0.96

00:08:38.000 That's right. 0.98

00:08:39.000 He's incredibly fast.

00:08:40.000 And people go, well, you know what, man, some things that make great...

00:08:44.000 Look at him.

00:08:44.000 Basketball player.

00:08:45.000 Wouldn't necessarily make you a great fighter.

00:08:47.000 Uh-huh.

00:08:49.000 Listen.

00:08:49.000 Listen to me.

00:08:50.000 Save it. 1.00

00:08:51.000 That guy's gonna beat your fucking ass. 1.00

00:08:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:08:53.000 He's a winner. 1.00

00:08:54.000 Yes.

00:08:54.000 There's just a certain level of winners.

00:08:57.000 He'd do whatever the fuck he wants. 0.99

00:08:58.000 Whatever he wants. 0.99

00:08:59.000 Bo Jackson could have done whatever the fuck he wanted. 0.98

00:09:02.000 I worked with Bo Jackson for... 0.99

00:09:04.000 A week.

00:09:05.000 Did you?

00:09:05.000 Yes, I did.

00:09:06.000 And he was...

00:09:07.000 And I said, what do you weigh?

00:09:09.000 He was in a white t-shirt.

00:09:10.000 And I was looking at the thickness of his fingers.

00:09:12.000 You know me.

00:09:13.000 I obsess because I'm basically a gay man.

00:09:16.000 So I was looking at his hands.

00:09:18.000 I grabbed his hands.

00:09:19.000 It was just this giant...

00:09:20.000 And I said, what do you weigh?

00:09:22.000 He goes, I'm...

00:09:23.000 He said, I remember it.

00:09:24.000 It was so weird.

00:09:24.000 It was so specific.

00:09:25.000 He said, I'm 6'1 1⁄2", 240 pounds.

00:09:30.000 245 pounds.

00:09:31.000 And he was the same size when he played, and he never has lifted weights in his life.

00:09:35.000 Ever.

00:09:35.000 And he didn't lift weights when he played.

00:09:36.000 He would just, as in his words, I'd just strap it on, and I'd hear the other team going, Bo's in the game.

00:09:41.000 Bo's in the game.

00:09:42.000 But you have to also understand that Bo Jackson not only did whatever he wanted to you on the football field, faster than everybody at 245 and stronger, he was also a...

00:09:50.000 Was he not an MVP in baseball?

00:09:53.000 All-star, at least.

00:09:53.000 I don't know about MVP, but for sure all-star, yeah.

00:09:55.000 That's unheard of.

00:09:56.000 Deion Sanders played both ways, but there's no one like...

00:09:58.000 Bo Jackson.

00:09:59.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:10:00.000 Throwing BBs, throwing fucking ropes from center field. 1.00

00:10:03.000 I mean, a whole different kind of guy. 1.00

00:10:05.000 And one tackle, one hip injury.

00:10:08.000 That's right. 0.99

00:10:08.000 Changed all that shit. 0.99

00:10:09.000 Well, his hip started to die. 1.00

00:10:11.000 It was some kind of an acritis in his bone or something like that.

00:10:13.000 It was from getting hit.

00:10:14.000 There was a very famous hit that he got tackled.

00:10:17.000 You could see, like, The impact that it has on his hips when he goes down.

00:10:20.000 Am I remembering that correctly?

00:10:22.000 There was a video of it, right?

00:10:23.000 Yeah, you see the injury. 0.99

00:10:25.000 Just a ridiculous athlete. 0.97

00:10:27.000 And he still came back and was smashing home runs with a fake hip. 0.99

00:10:30.000 Came back and played baseball.

00:10:31.000 Just couldn't really run anymore, you know?

00:10:34.000 Just a different kind of guy.

00:10:35.000 I wonder if they could fix that hip now, you know?

00:10:38.000 Think about what his hip was then and what his hip is now.

00:10:41.000 Well, I think you'd have to generate tissue, so I don't know if we're there yet, but we're getting close.

00:11:01.000 When did you send this to me?

00:11:03.000 I sent you a screenshot, so you've got to read this book.

00:11:05.000 Oh, okay.

00:11:06.000 But he talks about where we're headed technologically.

00:11:10.000 He's really done the research.

00:11:11.000 I mean, really looking honestly at what...

00:11:14.000 Medical research.

00:11:15.000 What to expect in the next 30 years.

00:11:17.000 What does he say?

00:11:17.000 Well, I mean, you know, not only are we going to live much longer if you have the money, but...

00:11:24.000 The real question he ends the book with in a way is we have to decide as human beings for the first time in our history we can control our own evolution.

00:11:33.000 So we have to ask ourselves what we want to become.

00:11:36.000 That's a really big responsibility.

00:11:39.000 What do you want to become?

00:11:40.000 What do we want to become?

00:11:41.000 Because that question can be answered.

00:11:44.000 We will have the technology to answer that question.

00:11:47.000 And it can get silly where you can say we could splice our genes with a lion or with a gorilla, but more importantly, we'll be able to splice our genes with synthetic biology and become...

00:12:00.000 But it's a very heavy question.

00:12:03.000 So if you want to live forever, if you become what he called, I think it was amoral, or there's a different word for it. 0.99

00:12:08.000 People are going to get mad at you for fucking 50-year-olds. 0.99

00:12:11.000 Like, they don't know anything yet. 1.00

00:12:12.000 God, how could you fuck a 50-year-old? 1.00

00:12:14.000 You'd be like a thousand years old. 1.00

00:12:16.000 I know.

00:12:16.000 You'd be so smart and so wise.

00:12:19.000 People go, you know how gross you are? 1.00

00:12:20.000 You're fucking someone who's 50 years old. 1.00

00:12:22.000 Like, as a human, we figured, look, we only think of ourselves as like, oh, you should have your shit together by 50. Because we know we only live to be 100. But the reality is most people don't get their shit together, period. 1.00

00:12:33.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:33.000 Like, it's a race that nobody's winning. 0.99

00:12:35.000 Yes. 0.98

00:12:35.000 But we all know that if we had an infinite amount of time, we would keep getting better at getting our shit together. 0.98

00:12:41.000 You would not be who you were yesterday and hopefully you'd be much better than you were a year ago. 0.92

00:12:44.000 But I think about something different.

00:12:46.000 But if that's the case though, if you get to 900 years old, are you still allowed to bang 50 year olds? 1.00

00:12:53.000 She's a fucking kid, bro. 0.99

00:12:55.000 I mean, when is it okay? 1.00

00:12:56.000 I mean, if she's super hot. 1.00

00:12:58.000 Well, vampires fuck like 30-year-olds. 0.99

00:13:01.000 Right, but we're talking about people, bro. 1.00

00:13:03.000 Apparently not if we can live that long. 0.92

00:13:05.000 No, if they figure out medical science, and this is not outside the realm of possibility, they can regenerate tissue and use stem cells to rejuvenate your body and you live 900 fucking years old, are you allowed to bang 50-year-olds? 0.99

00:13:15.000 Or are you gross? 0.97

00:13:19.000 Actually, I think the answer is it takes time and it flips it on its head. 0.80

00:13:24.000 Time no longer has a consequence because you don't really have limitations.

00:13:29.000 The biggest thing about human beings is that we have limitations.

00:13:31.000 We know we're going to die.

00:13:32.000 That's the fundamental difference between the idea of a robot being just like a human.

00:13:38.000 We are defined by our limitations.

00:13:40.000 Right, but you know why they bring the draft around and try to get young people to get drafted.

00:13:45.000 They don't want to go after 40-year-olds and 50-year-olds because it won't work.

00:13:49.000 I wonder if it gets to a certain age.

00:13:52.000 I wonder if you live to a certain age and cults just don't work anymore.

00:13:55.000 I wonder if it only works up until you're 50 or 60 or 70, but if people live forever, it would be just like telling Santa Claus to a little kid.

00:14:03.000 You tell Santa Claus to your five-year-old, they're like, whoa, Santa Claus is real. 0.99

00:14:06.000 You tell Santa Claus to a 15-year-old, they're like, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:14:09.000 Same kid. 1.00

00:14:10.000 They'd be like, Dad, you're retarded. 1.00

00:14:12.000 Stop this. 1.00

00:14:12.000 This is so stupid. 1.00

00:14:13.000 It depends on whether or not you've broadened your understanding. 1.00

00:14:17.000 There are a lot of old people that are not. 1.00

00:14:19.000 But if you're a cult leader and you're 900 years old and you're just banging all these 50-year-old ladies, you're an asshole. 1.00

00:14:23.000 They're like little kids still. 1.00

00:14:29.000 Maybe.

00:14:30.000 Well, 50-year-olds are not going to look like 50-year-olds.

00:14:32.000 They're not going to look really hot.

00:14:34.000 But my point is, they're still going to be naive. 1.00

00:14:37.000 They still put fucking holy water on themselves. 1.00

00:14:41.000 There's going to be weird shit. 1.00

00:14:42.000 But they'll be attracted to the 900-year-old because you'll be full of wisdom. 0.99

00:14:45.000 Plus, you'll be like a sorcerer.

00:14:47.000 Yeah.

00:14:47.000 What kind of power you'd have if you're nine years old?

00:14:50.000 Well, as you get older, the mystery of life breaks down.

00:14:52.000 You remember when you were younger and you'd see somebody who's really good at something?

00:14:54.000 You're like, God, they're a genius.

00:14:56.000 And then you kind of get, you start, you know, you get to a certain age where you get good at something or you just start to do it enough and you go, there's a certain formula to success.

00:15:04.000 Like sometimes, like, to be really good at something, there's a mindset for competition.

00:15:09.000 But to be really good at something also just requires a shitload of repetition and good tutelage.

00:15:14.000 There's a lot of that.

00:15:16.000 A lot of focus.

00:15:17.000 And one of the things that you recognize in people when you see enough people that are really, truly awesome at something, you see enough of them, you start to recognize this thing.

00:15:27.000 I especially can see it in musicians because I have zero talent.

00:15:32.000 Because I have zero musical talent.

00:15:34.000 What?

00:15:35.000 Zero! 0.90

00:15:35.000 Have you ever tried to actually hold a tune? 0.90

00:15:37.000 No.

00:15:38.000 Just try this.

00:15:39.000 Try to sing.

00:15:39.000 All serious.

00:15:40.000 Don't laugh.

00:15:41.000 Try to sing.

00:15:42.000 Just look at me.

00:15:42.000 It's embarrassing, but do it.

00:15:43.000 Try to sing.

00:15:45.000 I want you to sing Silent Night, Holy Night.

00:15:47.000 Try to hit it, then do it right, and then I'm going to try it.

00:15:49.000 It's so hard.

00:15:52.000 I'm so nervous.

00:15:54.000 It's so vulnerable.

00:15:55.000 I'm asking you to sing two verses.

00:15:57.000 But isn't it funny that making noises with your mouth is very vulnerable?

00:16:03.000 Silent night, holy night.

00:16:09.000 That's not bad.

00:16:11.000 All is calm.

00:16:14.000 Can you not be that whispery?

00:16:15.000 Can you get a little power?

00:16:17.000 There you go.

00:16:19.000 There you go.

00:16:21.000 Down young virgin mother and child. 0.87

00:16:29.000 What's the rest?

00:16:30.000 I don't know.

00:16:31.000 Something in heavenly peace?

00:16:32.000 Holy infant's a tender and mild.

00:16:36.000 Holy infant, so tender and mild.

00:16:41.000 I forgot already.

00:16:42.000 Sleep.

00:16:43.000 Sleep in heavenly peace. 0.97

00:16:51.000 I went immediately to the douchebag singer voice. 0.94

00:16:54.000 The whispery. 0.91

00:16:55.000 I know you did, but you know what you had?

00:16:58.000 I think you were on tuned.

00:17:00.000 I think he was tuned, wasn't he, Jamie?

00:17:03.000 Tuner and key.

00:17:05.000 Don't trust anybody who talks to you like that.

00:17:07.000 Listen to me, ladies. 1.00

00:17:08.000 That's my joke where I talk about that.

00:17:11.000 I go, you can say nice dress, just don't whisper it.

00:17:14.000 That's where it's creepy.

00:17:15.000 That's funny.

00:17:16.000 There's certain things you can't whisper in life.

00:17:18.000 You can be like, your daughter is so cute.

00:17:21.000 If you're like, your daughter is so cute.

00:17:24.000 It's creepy.

00:17:25.000 The creepy voice is recognized. 1.00

00:17:27.000 But you know what is a fucking confusing ass voice? 1.00

00:17:29.000 It's the scary voice. 1.00

00:17:33.000 You know, the scary voice like, next on Twilight Zone.

00:17:37.000 Yeah.

00:17:38.000 Like any scary monster, like, and then they went down the dark, dark road.

00:17:44.000 Yeah.

00:17:44.000 Those people who have that kind of a scary voice this summer.

00:17:49.000 And here's another one that doesn't work.

00:17:51.000 All the hottest girls.

00:17:53.000 All the hottest dancing.

00:17:55.000 Like that kind of like hot and sexy.

00:17:58.000 Those are those old commercials, remember?

00:18:00.000 Right, but there's like a weird rhythm to the way they're talking.

00:18:03.000 It's like they're establishing very clear parameters for vocabulary.

00:18:07.000 All the hottest girls.

00:18:09.000 There's not going to be some soliloquies on your interpretation of consciousness as you know it versus the subjective view of the universe.

00:18:15.000 No, no.

00:18:16.000 It's all the hottest girls. 1.00

00:18:18.000 All the hottest dancing.

00:18:19.000 It's like you have these really short sentences without much depth.

00:18:22.000 We're really in tune.

00:18:23.000 We're in tune with those rhythms.

00:18:25.000 Right. 1.00

00:18:25.000 Those girls are saying, look, to cut the bullshit, we're down to fuck. 1.00

00:18:28.000 We've got fake tits and we're drunk. 1.00

00:18:30.000 Woo! 1.00

00:18:31.000 That's what they're saying with that voice.

00:18:32.000 That's what that voice is.

00:18:33.000 Did you ever hear the experiment they did where they played doctors?

00:18:38.000 So they took different doctors and some had been sued a lot.

00:18:43.000 And then they just took the doctors at bedside.

00:18:46.000 They recorded them speaking.

00:18:48.000 And they took out the words so you could only hear the tone of their voice.

00:18:53.000 And people said, I don't like that guy.

00:18:57.000 And they didn't know what they were saying.

00:18:58.000 They said, I don't like that guy.

00:19:00.000 And without almost like most of them chose the doctors that had been sued.

00:19:04.000 And it turned out that they had a dominant tone so that their tone and the sound of their voice was what people objected to.

00:19:13.000 And because their bedside manner This is Malcolm Gladwell's book.

00:19:18.000 Their bedside manner was dominant.

00:19:21.000 They weren't sort of understanding and listening.

00:19:24.000 They were rather telling the patient something.

00:19:26.000 Those were the doctors, regardless of their errors or what they did, that had nothing to do with their degrees, didn't even have to do with what they did.

00:19:35.000 Those were the ones that got sued for malpractice.

00:19:37.000 Yeah, now I remember.

00:19:37.000 That's from Blink, right?

00:19:38.000 Yes, I think it's from Blink.

00:19:39.000 Blink's a great book.

00:19:40.000 Yeah, it is.

00:19:41.000 It's great.

00:19:42.000 And it's a great audio book, too.

00:19:43.000 I got that one on audio book.

00:19:45.000 I listened to it on audio.

00:19:46.000 It's very important. 0.99

00:19:47.000 I always listen to shit on audio. 0.99

00:19:48.000 I listen to Sapiens on audio. 0.99

00:19:50.000 It's very good.

00:19:51.000 Because I drive.

00:19:51.000 Yeah, it's a very good way to, you know, I like podcasts, but I like to mix it up.

00:19:56.000 It's like I don't want to only watch documentaries.

00:19:58.000 I like watching fiction, too.

00:20:01.000 I like to mix things up with what I take in and what I view, but I think that, like, audio books in particular, it's a great way to utilize, like, wasted time.

00:20:11.000 Yeah, 100%.

00:20:12.000 100%.

00:20:12.000 Instead of listening to music, I always listen to...

00:20:14.000 I listen to a whole course on Nietzsche.

00:20:16.000 How crazy was that story in Blink about the artwork where they found this old statue and this art expert looked at it for a second and went, it's fake.

00:20:25.000 How much did you pay for it?

00:20:26.000 Remember what came to his mind?

00:20:27.000 Remember the word that came to his mind?

00:20:29.000 Fascinating.

00:20:30.000 He knew it was fake because...

00:20:31.000 Knew?

00:20:32.000 Nope.

00:20:33.000 Close.

00:20:33.000 What was it?

00:20:35.000 It was supposed to be a statue that was buried for 3,000 years, a kouros. 1.00

00:20:38.000 Right.

00:20:38.000 Like a fully formed...

00:20:40.000 Kouros is a young boy in Greek.

00:20:41.000 So it was a fully formed statue, which is near Thessaloniki or something.

00:20:45.000 And they tested the rock.

00:20:47.000 The marble came from a quarry near there.

00:20:50.000 They even tested the mold, which actually turned out to be something they put on potatoes, but the mold seemed legit and all that stuff.

00:20:56.000 But he, the minute he saw it, he said, can you get your money back?

00:20:59.000 Yeah.

00:21:00.000 This is a fake and he didn't know why, but the first word that came to mind was fresh.

00:21:03.000 Fresh.

00:21:04.000 Kind of crazy, right?

00:21:05.000 Yeah, makes sense.

00:21:06.000 That's not what you're supposed to hear.

00:21:07.000 But isn't it crazy that he was right?

00:21:08.000 Yeah.

00:21:09.000 That you could just see?

00:21:10.000 Like, for you and I, it would be like, wow, crazy statue.

00:21:13.000 You know what I mean?

00:21:14.000 We wouldn't have...

00:21:15.000 But there's certain things that I'm sure you could see.

00:21:18.000 Sure.

00:21:18.000 Like, there's certain things...

00:21:19.000 Like, here's one that I see all the time.

00:21:22.000 I see when people are about to spin.

00:21:24.000 From all my years of Taekwondo.

00:21:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:21:26.000 It's like a little simple dip that people go...

00:21:29.000 He's looking to spin.

00:21:29.000 I've heard you call that a lot.

00:21:31.000 All the time.

00:21:31.000 Because once you learn it when you're a little kid, because you've been kicked in the head a few times, it becomes a part of your life.

00:21:36.000 Pattern recognition.

00:21:37.000 You see this little thing, oh, he's trying to spin.

00:21:39.000 He's trying to spin. 0.98

00:21:40.000 And you see it, whereas a regular person, I was like, how the fuck are you seeing that? 0.98

00:21:44.000 Well, I've seen it because people have hit me. 0.99

00:21:46.000 Don't get hit by that.

00:21:47.000 Like when you see that move, like, oh, get out of there.

00:21:49.000 Yeah.

00:21:50.000 Well, one of the wealthiest guys, my friend who made a billion dollars more, his buddy is worth some crazy amount of money.

00:21:57.000 And he said, what's your secret?

00:21:59.000 And he said, mirrors and windows.

00:22:01.000 I said, what do you mean?

00:22:01.000 He said, I can tell if somebody's going to pay me back.

00:22:04.000 I can tell if somebody's a good investment or not.

00:22:06.000 And he said, well, how?

00:22:07.000 And he goes, you either got windows or you got mirrors for eyes. 1.00

00:22:09.000 And if you got mirrors for eyes, you can go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:22:11.000 If you got windows, I'm going to lend you money. 1.00

00:22:12.000 And that's an instinct he would just pick up on.

00:22:14.000 He could pick up on sincerity and he could pick up on whether or not you were a phony.

00:22:18.000 You know, that's a real problem with communicating with people in non-verbal ways.

00:22:23.000 In non-face-to-face ways.

00:22:27.000 It's a real problem with texting and stuff like that.

00:22:29.000 You're not looking into the person.

00:22:31.000 I think it changes the way we talk to each other.

00:22:33.000 It changes interactions.

00:22:34.000 And I think most of the problem that people have most of the time with each other is not talking, like today, and especially, not talking enough looking at each other in the eyes.

00:22:43.000 That's exactly right.

00:22:44.000 And figuring out, like, if maybe someone's right, and maybe you're wrong about something, you gotta talk to them.

00:22:48.000 And you go, okay, well, what did you think I was supposed to do?

00:22:50.000 And I did that?

00:22:51.000 Okay.

00:22:52.000 Okay, and what time were you supposed to be there?

00:22:54.000 What time did we say?

00:22:55.000 I thought we said this.

00:22:56.000 And you can try to figure it out.

00:22:57.000 Well, you're looking at each other.

00:22:59.000 When someone could say, look, man, I was really bummed out.

00:23:02.000 It was this really important thing.

00:23:04.000 You were supposed to pick me up.

00:23:05.000 And then you could work it out.

00:23:07.000 You could look at each other and work it out.

00:23:08.000 But when you go through these series of text messages, I've had text message discussions with people like, hey, man, I can't do this.

00:23:14.000 Let's just talk.

00:23:15.000 Can we just talk?

00:23:15.000 Because this is crazy.

00:23:16.000 Because I don't know what your face is making when you're making this statement. 0.99

00:23:20.000 You're saying something, and it's not entirely accurate, and I'm trying to figure out what the fuck your face looks like. 0.99

00:23:25.000 Are you laughing? 0.99

00:23:26.000 Is this LOL? Can we look at each other?

00:23:28.000 Because I bet we could work this shit out. 0.99

00:23:31.000 That is the problem with reading sometimes about something and thinking you're getting the whole picture. 0.98

00:23:38.000 What I like about Thaddeus Russell is that his book, A Renegade History of the United States, I think it's called, He actually takes a look at things that I've never heard.

00:23:47.000 I was a history major.

00:23:47.000 And historians tend to be pretty conservative, stodgy people, right?

00:23:53.000 Your average college professor is a pretty conservative guy, even though he might be very left wing.

00:23:58.000 They're conservative people.

00:24:00.000 They're not going to find them at an orgy or, you know, usually, or various things.

00:24:05.000 And especially with historians.

00:24:06.000 And when they write history, they always write it from this really stodgy kind of, you hear about the events.

00:24:14.000 You actually don't hear about what it was like in the brothels. 1.00

00:24:17.000 You don't hear about what it smelled like in the bars.

00:24:19.000 You don't hear about the noise.

00:24:21.000 You don't hear about things that actually have an effect on people.

00:24:25.000 Who were the criminals?

00:24:26.000 How safe were the streets?

00:24:28.000 Where were the prostitutes? 1.00

00:24:29.000 Who was actually getting laid? 1.00

00:24:30.000 Was there a lot of black and white sex that went on during the Revolutionary War, which apparently there was.

00:24:36.000 What about dancing? 1.00

00:24:38.000 I bet there's a lot of dirty white ladies that got some dark dicking. 1.00

00:24:40.000 I can only hope. 1.00

00:24:42.000 Woo! 1.00

00:24:43.000 It's the ultimate fuck you to your dad. 1.00

00:24:45.000 Yes, it is. 1.00

00:24:46.000 Can you imagine?

00:24:46.000 Yes, it is.

00:24:47.000 How many chicks just fucking couldn't wait? 1.00

00:24:51.000 I know. 0.99

00:24:52.000 As soon as the veil was lifted.

00:24:54.000 Yeah.

00:24:55.000 As they say.

00:24:56.000 My dad is fighting to keep you a slave. 1.00

00:24:58.000 And I'm fighting to suck your dick. 1.00

00:25:01.000 Can you imagine? 1.00

00:25:02.000 Some hot, dirty white girl with freckles. 1.00

00:25:07.000 Apparently there was a lot of that, because what they would do is the Irish would come in, they were indentured servants, then you had the black slaves, and they'd dance. 0.99

00:25:15.000 There'd be like these speakeasies, and everybody would mingle. 0.73

00:25:18.000 It'd be late at night, black, beautiful black women, and the white dudes would be like, dude, these girls are hot. 1.00

00:25:24.000 And there was mixing and everything else, and there was all kinds of shit like that. 0.99

00:25:28.000 Remember, Slavery was being talked about as a great moral evil really back when this country was founded. 0.98

00:25:34.000 What really kind of one of the things they say that kept slavery going another hundred years was the cotton gin.

00:25:41.000 Was the fact that Eli Whitney invented a machine that made it fucking really, really easy to separate the seed from the cotton.

00:25:48.000 And as a result, this guy comes up with a great invention.

00:25:51.000 They were like, whoa, we got all this free labor down here.

00:25:54.000 I'm not freeing slaves. 1.00

00:25:55.000 This shit is white gold. 1.00

00:25:56.000 I can send it to Europe and there's an insatiable demand for my cotton. 1.00

00:26:00.000 Fuck that! 1.00

00:26:01.000 I'm not going to have my whole economies built on the fact that I got all this free labor and I'm making a fortune. 1.00

00:26:05.000 So, you know, a lot of historians kind of talk about how Eli Whitney invented a machine that was really efficient but might have been responsible for keeping an entire group of people in slavery.

00:26:15.000 That is so crazy to think about.

00:26:18.000 You know, before he came up with the cotton gin, most of the clothes were made out of hemp.

00:26:23.000 Mm-hmm.

00:26:23.000 They use hemp fiber for everything, and apparently it's way better than cotton.

00:26:28.000 It's stronger, for sure.

00:26:29.000 Way stronger.

00:26:30.000 Todd McCormick, do you remember my friend Todd McCormick?

00:26:32.000 He had this stalk of hemp in his house, and it was like from a hemp tree, and it's like it's from another planet.

00:26:40.000 It doesn't seem like it's a real thing.

00:26:42.000 So why?

00:26:43.000 It's really hard, but it's really light.

00:26:46.000 Like, it's light, like balsa wood, but it's hard like oak.

00:26:51.000 Like, it's weird.

00:26:53.000 It's cool.

00:26:53.000 And he was explaining to me, and he knows way more about weed than I do, but he was like, dude, it's an alien planet.

00:26:59.000 It's an alien plant, rather.

00:27:01.000 It's very hardy weed, right?

00:27:02.000 It's an alien plant.

00:27:03.000 It's like no other plant.

00:27:04.000 It has all the essential amino acids.

00:27:07.000 You get essential oils from it.

00:27:09.000 It has protein in it, a very high protein content.

00:27:12.000 Like, you can eat.

00:27:13.000 Hemp seeds are great for you.

00:27:14.000 They're really healthy.

00:27:16.000 And you can make clothing out of it.

00:27:19.000 You can make fuel out of it, hemp fuel.

00:27:21.000 Henry Ford made the first fenders on the first Model T out of hemp fibers.

00:27:26.000 Really?

00:27:26.000 There's a video of him hitting them with a hammer, and the hammer bounces off these hemp fenders.

00:27:31.000 They're far more durable than steel.

00:27:34.000 That's crazy.

00:27:35.000 And it's an insane fiber, man.

00:27:37.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:27:38.000 It literally is like no other fiber on the planet.

00:27:41.000 It's a really complex fiber, and it's illegal.

00:27:45.000 And it's illegal.

00:27:46.000 You can grow hemp.

00:27:47.000 You can grow hemp.

00:27:47.000 You just can't grow the female plant.

00:27:49.000 And the government is doing their best to make CBDs being regulated by the FDA. They're all trying to stop CBD. There's people that are trying to stop CBD. It doesn't even have a psychoactive effect on you.

00:28:00.000 Well, the guy who invented...

00:28:01.000 I don't know if he invented the dark web, but the Silk Road guy, Olbrecht?

00:28:05.000 Yeah, I've got to point this out.

00:28:06.000 This is really important, though, before I forget.

00:28:08.000 The CBD oil, folks.

00:28:11.000 I'm reading a lot of reports online of people testing CBD and it tests positive for THC. Greg Fitzsimmons talked about this.

00:28:17.000 He said that he tried CBD oil and it got him high.

00:28:20.000 I don't know what he used, which company he used, but the studies that I've read where people have actually got them tested, there is THC in some of them.

00:28:30.000 So you've got to be careful, especially if you have some UPS job or somewhere.

00:28:34.000 I don't know if UPS tests your piss.

00:28:35.000 Or an athletic competition. 0.98

00:28:36.000 Some place where they test your piss. 0.96

00:28:37.000 If you take CBD oil for pain and inflammation, you've got to really make sure you trust the sources.

00:28:43.000 Because I guess, apparently, it can have THC in it.

00:28:46.000 Didn't you point that out?

00:28:47.000 I don't know if I did, but I've seen that same thing in the last, like, two weeks.

00:28:51.000 I think you're the one who told me about it first.

00:28:53.000 Yeah, it's not just...

00:28:55.000 Because we were talking about Greg.

00:28:56.000 Like, Greg gets high off CBD oil.

00:28:58.000 I'm like, maybe it's just like a super lightweight.

00:29:02.000 But I don't think so.

00:29:03.000 Maybe.

00:29:03.000 I think there's some weed in some of them.

00:29:05.000 Craig might just be super sensitive.

00:29:07.000 He loves the weed.

00:29:08.000 Yeah.

00:29:08.000 I think if you just give him regular CBD oil, I bet he'd be fine.

00:29:12.000 It might not even just be the CBD oil.

00:29:13.000 I've noticed some like head shops in states that it's not recreationally available. 0.99

00:29:18.000 They're selling it in the same form as like dabs and concentrates and you smoke the CBD the same way you would smoke that heavy concentrated shit. 0.99

00:29:26.000 Whoa. 0.96

00:29:26.000 And that crazy like dab rig with a hot torch and So you smoke CBD oil that doesn't get you high in the dab rig. 0.96

00:29:32.000 Yeah, and I don't know if that's what it is.

00:29:34.000 Somebody gave me CBD oil to sleep better.

00:29:36.000 It didn't work.

00:29:37.000 Didn't?

00:29:37.000 I'll tell you what works.

00:29:39.000 Smoking weed.

00:29:40.000 You have a hard time sleeping?

00:29:42.000 Yeah.

00:29:42.000 I don't need more so much, but I always worry.

00:29:46.000 Yeah, that'll do it.

00:29:48.000 Yeah.

00:29:50.000 I worry that I, you know, you just go, it's interesting.

00:29:53.000 Sometimes I just, I feel guilty about being so lucky.

00:29:58.000 I get into my really soft bed and I do what I love and I'm like, when is the other foot gonna drop here?

00:30:03.000 If you really stop and think about how lucky you are in comparison to the vast majority of human beings on the earth. 0.96

00:30:09.000 It's ridiculous. 0.95

00:30:10.000 What? 0.99

00:30:10.000 I mean, you know. 0.99

00:30:13.000 I have zero tolerance for people that talk about how hard things are today.

00:30:17.000 Like, they're complicated today.

00:30:18.000 They're not hard.

00:30:20.000 It's complicated.

00:30:21.000 It's way more complicated.

00:30:22.000 Of course there are hard moments.

00:30:23.000 No one's denying your pain and your hard moments.

00:30:27.000 But if you get a cut on your hand, you're not going to get gangrene.

00:30:29.000 Yeah, it's just way easier.

00:30:30.000 There are little things.

00:30:31.000 You don't have to worry about the pox.

00:30:33.000 Yeah.

00:30:34.000 There's so much more today. 0.99

00:30:36.000 This is a fucking crazy time. 0.98

00:30:38.000 The thing about this time is, the good thing about it is, yeah, we're overpopulated. 0.99

00:30:44.000 Yeah, we're crazy.

00:30:45.000 Yeah, the system we're operating on doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but you could still go into the woods at any moment.

00:30:51.000 There's a place we can go right now.

00:30:53.000 We can go in the woods.

00:30:54.000 Like, you can go to Big Bear, and you just go for a hike.

00:30:57.000 All of a sudden, you're in the forest. 1.00

00:30:59.000 Like, oh, this shit's still real. 0.99

00:31:00.000 This is still here, too. 1.00

00:31:02.000 Right.

00:31:02.000 You know?

00:31:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:03.000 Life is crazy, and life's bizarre, but we haven't completely turned the whole world into a city.

00:31:07.000 That's true. 0.99

00:31:08.000 Like, guess what, bitch? 1.00

00:31:09.000 That's coming. 1.00

00:31:10.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:31:11.000 If you look how goddamn big Los Angeles is, how much of it is covered in concrete and streets. 0.97

00:31:16.000 And then the streets go off everywhere like veins. 0.96

00:31:18.000 And oh, by the way, 200 years ago, no streets.

00:31:21.000 They weren't there.

00:31:22.000 But aren't wildernesses expanding in this country?

00:31:25.000 Is that wrong?

00:31:26.000 I do not think that wildernesses are expanding.

00:31:29.000 There's more grazing land and stuff.

00:31:30.000 I don't know.

00:31:31.000 I mean, we're definitely suffering from urban sprawl, but I was surprised to see how little, like the percentage of the continental United States that's actually inhabited, that actually has houses on it, was really small.

00:31:44.000 It surprised the shit out of me. 0.90

00:31:45.000 Yeah, it's pretty small. 0.91

00:31:46.000 It's crazy how concentrated it is, too, in these little areas.

00:31:50.000 But yeah, these people that live in these small towns all across the country, that is a big reason also why Trump won.

00:31:59.000 They just felt totally unrepresented by all the people that live on the sides.

00:32:03.000 I also think it's because they had, I think, 50% of Americans have, what, $500 in their bank account?

00:32:09.000 Something crazy.

00:32:10.000 I think it might be less than that.

00:32:11.000 I think it's $400.

00:32:12.000 Well, if it's $400, think about that.

00:32:14.000 That's why I get mad when people characterize—I don't like Trump.

00:32:16.000 But I never liked when people characterized all Trump supporters as racist, etc.

00:32:20.000 I thought it was unfair because I think— The majority of people want to live in some dignity.

00:32:25.000 And they had Obama, eight years of Obama, say what you will, but their lives didn't change for a lot of reasons.

00:32:30.000 I don't think Obama's to blame.

00:32:31.000 There's a lot of reasons.

00:32:32.000 Then along comes Hillary's speaking the same exact language. 0.98

00:32:35.000 So if you're going to blame people for saying, wait, under eight years, I still only have $400 in my pocket.

00:32:41.000 Here comes a woman who's speaking the same language. 1.00

00:32:44.000 Oh, and by the way, there's a lot of rumors about her being corrupt. 1.00

00:32:46.000 I have nothing to lose.

00:32:47.000 I'm going to try that other guy.

00:32:49.000 Did you see what Donna Brazile wrote about one of the reasons why she came out with her book?

00:32:53.000 It was after Seth Rich got murdered.

00:32:55.000 She called him a patriot.

00:32:56.000 Wow.

00:32:58.000 I didn't know Seth Rich got murdered.

00:32:59.000 Oh, that's right.

00:33:00.000 That was that guy who worked for the DNC that was a Bernie Sanders supporter.

00:33:03.000 The WikiLeaks has alluded to the fact that he leaked them information.

00:33:06.000 He got shot in front of his house.

00:33:07.000 Wow.

00:33:08.000 And it became this big conspiracy theory where people would mock you for saying it was a conspiracy, and then Hannity ran with it, and so it became clearly, for a lot of people, the Seth Rich conspiracy theory that it was nonsense.

00:33:19.000 Nobody knows what happened to that guy, though.

00:33:20.000 He was murdered.

00:33:22.000 He had his watch on.

00:33:23.000 He had his phone with him.

00:33:24.000 He had his wallet on him.

00:33:25.000 Nobody took anything from him.

00:33:26.000 They shot him at four o'clock in the morning.

00:33:28.000 Who knows what happened?

00:33:29.000 But when WikiLeaks starts saying that you gave them information and that there's consequences to you giving them information, one of two things is happening.

00:33:39.000 Either WikiLeaks has decided all of a sudden to start lying.

00:33:42.000 Right.

00:33:42.000 And making things up about people.

00:33:44.000 Or two, they were misinformed and someone was pretending to be this guy and sending them information.

00:33:49.000 It's always possible if they didn't meet face to face.

00:33:51.000 Or three, they're telling you something you didn't know, that this guy who was just shot and murdered was leaking information about the DNC and now the DNC was corrupted by the Hillary Clinton group, which is what Donna Brazile is saying in her book.

00:34:07.000 And that this guy released that and showed how the primaries were rigged against Bernie Sanders and that Hillary... 0.90

00:34:13.000 Ari was sending me excerpts from it the other day.

00:34:15.000 He's like, dude, Donna Brazile was saying that Hillary was in control of the DNC before the primaries.

00:34:20.000 So is the implication that Hillary might have had something to do with his murder?

00:34:25.000 That's the implication.

00:34:26.000 The problem is that the information was already out.

00:34:29.000 Right, but maybe he had more, and maybe they were punishing him to stop other people from doing the same thing.

00:34:34.000 Maybe other people had more information.

00:34:36.000 I don't know if it's true, but there was another guy that disappeared recently.

00:34:39.000 It was a guy who had dirt on the Clintons.

00:34:43.000 Some guy vanished.

00:34:44.000 This is like really, really recent.

00:34:46.000 See if you can find that one.

00:34:47.000 Some guy, just type in Google, Clinton, Dirt.

00:34:50.000 And this is like from Newsweek.

00:34:52.000 So there's, people have vanished.

00:34:54.000 And I don't know how many of them have been murdered.

00:34:56.000 People suicide themselves.

00:34:57.000 I don't know how many of them actually suicide themselves.

00:35:00.000 Right.

00:35:00.000 But it could, let's just say, one out of ten, just one out of ten was an actual murder.

00:35:07.000 Right.

00:35:08.000 This guy, academic at the heart of Clinton Dirt campaign, vanishes.

00:35:11.000 What?

00:35:11.000 Leaving trail of questions.

00:35:13.000 This is really recently.

00:35:14.000 See, they figured out when you kill people, it's way harder.

00:35:17.000 Maybe.

00:35:18.000 Could be. 1.00

00:35:19.000 When you kill people, it's like, God damn, how'd this body get here? 0.99

00:35:23.000 But when people just vanish... 1.00

00:35:25.000 Damn. 1.00

00:35:25.000 They just vanish. 1.00

00:35:26.000 Poof.

00:35:27.000 That's crazy.

00:35:29.000 They vanish.

00:35:29.000 They just disappeared.

00:35:30.000 Poof.

00:35:31.000 Where's Eddie when I need him?

00:35:32.000 Where's Mr. Bravo when I need him?

00:35:34.000 He'd be going crazy.

00:35:35.000 He'd be going crazy about that one.

00:35:36.000 Yeah, but Eddie's conspiracies turn in on themselves because he'd be like, he's disappeared, but he's not really...

00:35:42.000 What if he's not really dead?

00:35:45.000 That could be that.

00:35:48.000 Eddie, he loves himself a conspiracy.

00:35:50.000 He gets so excited.

00:35:51.000 Yeah, I know.

00:35:52.000 It's like watching a guy who's super into sports.

00:35:54.000 Like a dude who's super into sports.

00:35:56.000 Uh-huh.

00:35:56.000 All I'm saying is it's a little weird.

00:36:02.000 Well, you know what I tried to...

00:36:03.000 Someone was like, well, why does he enjoy conspiracies?

00:36:05.000 I said, well, first of all, he enjoys them.

00:36:07.000 Like, enjoy what you like.

00:36:09.000 But also, Eddie has always been really good at, like, shutting down people not believing in his ideas with jujitsu.

00:36:19.000 Yeah.

00:36:20.000 Because Eddie has revolutionary jiu-jitsu.

00:36:23.000 His jiu-jitsu and his rubber guard setups and all the different things, the paths that he fixed a lot of paths in traditional jiu-jitsu.

00:36:31.000 He changed a lot of things and did some things his way.

00:36:34.000 And when he would describe it to me, I was like, oh, this is a guy who has an idea how to do things.

00:36:39.000 And when people are opposing, he's like, no, no, no, no, I'm going to shut that down and move over here.

00:36:43.000 That's interesting.

00:36:44.000 So his brain works that way.

00:36:45.000 Right.

00:36:45.000 So when someone comes at him with an idea, he has an idea and he's going to try to get that idea through.

00:36:50.000 And when you come at him with some weak attacks on that idea and just expect that he's going to relinquish his hold on the idea, he's like, no, no, no, bitch. 1.00

00:36:57.000 This don't make no sense. 0.98

00:36:58.000 No, you don't have any information.

00:37:00.000 It's going to take someone giving him real, honest to goodness, impossible to deny information that he's going to believe in any of the conspiracies that he believes in being false.

00:37:15.000 His feelings control his thinking.

00:37:18.000 That is true.

00:37:19.000 But there have been conspiracies that have successfully been executed, which makes this whole thing way more confusing.

00:37:26.000 Sure.

00:37:26.000 It's like, which one of these were real?

00:37:28.000 To say that all conspiracies are bullshit, you are a victim of, like, some reverse racism. 0.99

00:37:33.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98

00:37:34.000 No, no, I'm usually skeptical of conspiracies, especially government conspiracies, because government is notoriously so completely out of sync and not efficient enough, and certainly there are so many different competing interests within government,

00:37:50.000 just within an administration.

00:37:51.000 Everybody's trying to undermine each other, and that's the history.

00:37:54.000 And it was set up that way.

00:37:55.000 And even if you talk about faking the moon landing, you'd have to have about a thousand, maybe two thousand people to keep a secret.

00:38:02.000 That's impossible.

00:38:04.000 That's not necessarily the case if you just had people thinking on a need-to-know basis with everything compartmentalized.

00:38:09.000 Like, this guy's responsible for making the O-rings. 0.99

00:38:12.000 This guy's responsible for making the...

00:38:13.000 I don't know how it works.

00:38:13.000 I know nothing about it.

00:38:14.000 I don't know how it works either.

00:38:15.000 But I do know that you're talking about, if you were trying to fake the moon landing, one of the things that would be much easier is during the Nixon administration, they were getting used to faking things.

00:38:24.000 Watergate was going on.

00:38:25.000 But they all got found out, though, because somebody talks.

00:38:28.000 You're just starting to develop the kind of special effects abilities where you can sort of recreate space scenes, like 2001. That was the big conspiracy theorist dream, was that somehow or another there would be some irrefutable proof that Stanley Kubrick was the one who worked on the moon landing.

00:38:44.000 That was like, if I had found that, I'd be like coming in my pants like, yes!

00:38:48.000 But Eddie never acknowledges that the same impulse that drives him, which is really to find the truth and to be skeptical of people's claims and even evidence that's been written down.

00:39:00.000 Yeah.

00:39:01.000 Human beings have always...

00:39:03.000 Always, for the most part, unless there's something wrong with you, wanted to be in the know.

00:39:09.000 I don't know anyone who doesn't want to know the truth.

00:39:11.000 I don't know anybody who likes being deceived.

00:39:14.000 And so that's why it's almost impossible to keep a secret long-term in government.

00:39:22.000 Because somebody always talks.

00:39:23.000 Here's another thing on the other side of it.

00:39:24.000 Here's one of the reasons why the whole conspiracy thing is so attractive to people.

00:39:29.000 Because there's a reward chain built into the human psyche of solving a problem that's presented in front of you that could potentially be dangerous.

00:39:37.000 It's a reward chain.

00:39:38.000 And this reward chain gets acted upon even if you're talking about nonsense. 0.99

00:39:42.000 Even if this is like some Area 51 UFO body fucking whatever it is. 0.97

00:39:50.000 Roswell, New Mexico, the guy who was there, the general, talked to my grandma. 0.97

00:39:54.000 He told me about the coffins.

00:39:55.000 Four-foot-tall coffins!

00:39:57.000 They're little alien babies! 1.00

00:39:58.000 They took them to the back of the hearse.

00:39:59.000 They had them embalmed, and my aunt saw it, and they killed her in the forest.

00:40:03.000 Stop! 1.00

00:40:04.000 Stop! 1.00

00:40:05.000 I know.

00:40:05.000 I can't.

00:40:06.000 But when you have an explanation, you don't feel as unsafe.

00:40:09.000 Yes.

00:40:09.000 See, if I tell you that there are random things that happen, for example, the shooter in Las Vegas, he was 64 and there were no signs.

00:40:18.000 He was very controlling.

00:40:19.000 If you look at it, he's a bit of a sociopath.

00:40:20.000 He had this obsession with control. 0.98

00:40:23.000 But if I just tell you that sometimes people wig the fuck out and they just want to shoot a bunch of people, that's not appropriate. 0.81

00:40:30.000 He's also on anti-anxiety Medicare. 0.95

00:40:32.000 Sure.

00:40:33.000 I'm sure.

00:40:34.000 But there's also like, when you say that stuff, it's like, now what you're saying is I have no real way to protect myself. 0.95

00:40:39.000 Even if I carry a gun, take all my vitamins, wear my seatbelt, there's always some crazy shit I didn't think about. 0.79

00:40:44.000 It's called fate. 0.87

00:40:45.000 The people I've talked to that understand psych medicines, they've talked to some psychiatrists I've had on the podcast.

00:40:53.000 I listen to Kelly Brogan.

00:40:53.000 Kelly Brogan talked about it quite extensively.

00:40:56.000 One of the things that her and many other psychiatrists brought up is the disassociative properties of a lot of these psych medicines.

00:41:03.000 That someone might have a horrible idea in their head, but the repercussions of it are real.

00:41:07.000 Like acting on it feels real.

00:41:09.000 But as soon as you have some sort of heavy disassociative psych medicine, it's not even real.

00:41:14.000 Like you don't care anymore.

00:41:16.000 You're like watching yourself in a movie or something.

00:41:20.000 You're on something that dulls all the highs and the lows.

00:41:24.000 It puts you in this weird state where it's okay.

00:41:27.000 It's okay. 1.00

00:41:28.000 It's okay to just kill these people. 0.98

00:41:30.000 I don't know whether or not you could make the leap from being a person who could never kill somebody to being a person who doesn't have a problem with killing somebody. 0.95

00:41:37.000 I don't know if that's true.

00:41:38.000 Maybe that's a chasm too far to cross. 0.99

00:41:42.000 But I guarantee you, if you're the type of person that is having some horrible thoughts about being aggressive to people, and then someone puts you on something that makes you like, I don't give a fuck. 0.87

00:41:56.000 Who knows what the right chemical is, too, right? 0.80

00:42:00.000 If they give you the wrong one, maybe they'll switch you one way, or the right one, they'll turn you the other way, or maybe we should add some mobilifying to the mix.

00:42:08.000 Maybe we should throw some of this in there.

00:42:10.000 This is an anti-psychotic to help you all even out.

00:42:13.000 Do you know you can have a lesion on your brain the size of the head of a pin?

00:42:17.000 You can have a lesion, and if it's in the right, there's a specific area of the brain where it can be a tiny lesion that you can't see really barely with the naked eye, and it can render you a homicidal maniac.

00:42:28.000 That's my problem.

00:42:29.000 Fighting off the lesions.

00:42:30.000 I got lesions in my brain.

00:42:32.000 Is that true?

00:42:33.000 Yeah.

00:42:33.000 What is it called?

00:42:34.000 What's the lesion?

00:42:34.000 I don't know.

00:42:35.000 I could look it up for you, but where I heard it was in a lecture by Daniel Robinson, who is a professor at Oxford and Georgetown, and the smartest man on the planet.

00:42:46.000 Well, that's why you have to really be careful when you're punching people in the head, right?

00:42:50.000 Yeah.

00:42:51.000 Yes, sir.

00:42:51.000 That's why it causes...

00:42:52.000 Well, so the guy who...

00:42:55.000 Does that make sense?

00:42:56.000 Neuroscientist?

00:42:56.000 Remember the guy who captured the 13-year-old girl, not Elizabeth Smart, but the other one?

00:43:01.000 He had two children with her, kept her for 18 years, and she escaped finally?

00:43:04.000 Yes, that was the guy that was...

00:43:06.000 Where did that take place?

00:43:07.000 He and his wife.

00:43:08.000 It was somewhere in like, I think Seattle or something.

00:43:10.000 He had them in the basement, right?

00:43:11.000 He had them in the backyard in a shed, in a sealed off shed.

00:43:14.000 And then they lived in the backyard with the daughters until, I mean, literally she was 18. They would go out once in a while.

00:43:19.000 It was real Stockholm Syndrome shit. 1.00

00:43:21.000 Oh my God, that's so crazy. 1.00

00:43:23.000 Yeah, but he got her pregnant at 13 and it was just a terrible story.

00:43:27.000 This is what I was going to tell you about earlier.

00:43:28.000 Did you see the footage where they're selling slaves in Libya?

00:43:34.000 Is it Libya or is it Iraq?

00:43:35.000 It's Libya. 0.51

00:43:36.000 Maybe it's in Iraq, too.

00:43:39.000 But it was Libya.

00:43:40.000 And there was a...

00:43:43.000 I forget who the title...

00:43:45.000 It was USA Today that had an editorial that said, Thanks, Hillary Clinton. 0.92

00:43:50.000 Because Hillary Clinton, apparently, they're blaming her decisions on the reason why we went into Libya and dethroned Muammar Gaddafi. 0.99

00:43:57.000 Who knows?

00:43:58.000 Yeah, you would know maybe more than most.

00:43:59.000 But video of migrants sold in apparent slave auction in Libya provokes outrage worldwide.

00:44:05.000 It's disturbing, man.

00:44:06.000 When you watch it, they got guns to these dudes' heads, all these photos.

00:44:09.000 I retweeted it.

00:44:10.000 If you want to go to my Instagram, you can see some of the pictures of it.

00:44:13.000 But they have like, Libya is a failed state now.

00:44:17.000 Yes. 0.98

00:44:18.000 And it's goddamn terrifying. 0.96

00:44:20.000 In 2017. Look at that. 0.97

00:44:23.000 In 1970, my father just told a story at Thanksgiving.

00:44:30.000 And he was talking about how Dubai and Abu Dhabi have become these incredible countries.

00:44:35.000 Yeah.

00:44:36.000 And when he was first there in 1970, 1971, I don't know what it was.

00:44:41.000 Somebody said, do you see that woman over there? 1.00

00:44:43.000 And she was a black woman. 0.89

00:44:45.000 She was from Africa somewhere.

00:44:46.000 And my father said, yes.

00:44:48.000 And he goes, that's a slave.

00:44:50.000 And that was in Dubai, I believe, back in the day.

00:44:53.000 I'm sorry to anybody from Dubai.

00:44:54.000 I know you guys have come a very long way, but slavery was the order of the day in a lot of countries.

00:45:00.000 I'm not just picking on you.

00:45:01.000 In a lot of countries.

00:45:02.000 In a lot of countries.

00:45:03.000 It was the order of the day.

00:45:04.000 I mean, the idea that slavery would no longer be a case.

00:45:07.000 The idea that this would be outrageous to the world in 1940 would be, certainly in 1910 or something, would have been like, what?

00:45:15.000 No, it'll always go on.

00:45:16.000 Slavery is the way of life. 1.00

00:45:20.000 I think, though, today, with the ability to film slave auctions on your cell phone and then stream that shit... 0.97

00:45:27.000 I also think the more you learn about people and how how similar we all are and how you know Sam Harris had a really interesting TED talk about this about the idea that you you have to be able to have a conversation about what is the most optimal way to live for a human being what is the most optimal is it is it true that women are at their best when having to wear a full burqa in 120 degree heat that's a good question And by the way, 0.87

00:45:57.000 are all opinions welcome at the table?

00:46:00.000 Are you interested, I'm quoting Sam here, but are you interested in the Taliban's point of view on physics?

00:46:06.000 No.

00:46:07.000 And does someone who does, for that matter, and he talks about himself, is his point of view on string theory, which he knows nothing about, as valid as somebody who studies string theory?

00:46:18.000 No.

00:46:19.000 But we, you know, there's a tendency to kind of go, well, you know, that's your culture.

00:46:24.000 And I'm not going to get involved in it, even though it might seem brutal by my standards.

00:46:28.000 You hear this a lot with the Aztecs and human sacrifice.

00:46:31.000 And it's very taboo to talk about how it was barbaric, because, you know, that was them. 1.00

00:46:34.000 Fuck off. 0.99

00:46:35.000 Do you remember you and me and Steven Rinella had a conversation about that? 1.00

00:46:37.000 Rinella literally didn't believe me when I told him they sacrificed 80,000.

00:46:42.000 Is that the number?

00:46:43.000 What's the number when they sacrificed the...

00:46:47.000 The people who are not of the sun. 0.98

00:46:49.000 The pyramid of Teokhan.

00:46:49.000 Temple of Teokhan.

00:46:51.000 Is that how you say it?

00:46:52.000 Teokhan. 0.99

00:46:53.000 But apparently they sacrificed some fucking insane number of slaves. 0.99

00:46:56.000 So it's so crazy that if you tell a rational person like Steve Rinelli, it's like, what? 0.98

00:47:00.000 That can't be true.

00:47:03.000 Until you go and read about it and you go...

00:47:07.000 How horrible were people then?

00:47:08.000 They could sacrifice, I want to say it was 80,000 people.

00:47:13.000 The sheer numbers, I don't know.

00:47:15.000 I mean, that's a crazy number.

00:47:15.000 But it's like in a couple of days.

00:47:17.000 All the people that worked on the temple, apparently after it was over, they just sacrificed them.

00:47:23.000 Wow.

00:47:24.000 Just imagine the world. 0.99

00:47:25.000 One of the things they say is Cortez was able to conquer the Aztecs a lot more easily because the Aztecs had neighbors that fucking hated them. 0.96

00:47:32.000 Because the Aztecs would go in and basically if you weren't an Aztec, which means a person of the sun, you'd get sacrificed. 0.95

00:47:41.000 So their neighbors were like, are you Spanish guys?

00:47:44.000 500 guys?

00:47:45.000 Really?

00:47:46.000 We'll help you.

00:47:46.000 100%.

00:47:47.000 We hate them.

00:47:48.000 Have you been to Chichen Itza?

00:47:50.000 No. 0.99

00:47:51.000 Dude, there's a fucking platform in Chichen Itza where the Mayans used to behead people. 1.00

00:47:55.000 Wow. 1.00

00:47:56.000 They have the sacrifice.

00:47:57.000 There's this thing.

00:47:58.000 It's like a demon.

00:48:00.000 It's lying on its back. 0.56

00:48:02.000 And they would sacrifice the people.

00:48:03.000 And the stomach area, where they sacrifice people, is kind of grooved out from all the bodies they've been slicing on it. 1.00

00:48:10.000 Damn! 0.99

00:48:12.000 Well, that's why... 1.00

00:48:13.000 Oh my god, I'm wrong.

00:48:15.000 It's way more.

00:48:17.000 As high as...

00:48:17.000 Estimates the number of persons sacrificed in Central Mexico in the 15th century was as high as 250,000 per year.

00:48:26.000 But go to the construction of Temple...

00:48:29.000 I don't know how to say it.

00:48:31.000 I know this is a very contentious number, by the way.

00:48:33.000 Of course it is. 0.98

00:48:34.000 A lot of people are like, bullshit, and there's a lot of historians that take... 0.99

00:48:37.000 Trying to publish my book, bro. 1.00

00:48:38.000 I'm jacking it up.

00:48:39.000 100,000.

00:48:40.000 I mean, if I was a historian, I was like, 40 million people died on the shores.

00:48:47.000 Although the whole male population was trained to be warriors, it was a, you know.

00:48:50.000 What is the, see, just Google 80,000 Aztecs sacrificed temple of, I don't know how to say the word, Teocon.

00:49:00.000 Teocon. 0.96

00:49:01.000 I forget how do you say it, but I believe what they did was they built this fucking spectacular structure and then killed everybody who worked on it. 0.99

00:49:10.000 They just killed the union. 0.99

00:49:12.000 Kind of like El Chapo when you'd build a tunnel for him.

00:49:14.000 He's like, can't know where it is.

00:49:15.000 Sorry.

00:49:16.000 Really?

00:49:17.000 Apparently they'd have a party for him.

00:49:19.000 Hey guys, thanks for working on the tunnel.

00:49:21.000 They had a little party.

00:49:23.000 Toast champagne and here's some lead poisoning as well.

00:49:26.000 Super, super hammered. 1.00

00:49:27.000 Bring them in hookers and then shoot them in the head while they're sleeping. 1.00

00:49:29.000 You can't have people know. 1.00

00:49:30.000 Hmm.

00:49:31.000 They said that the Soviets would do that when you would build a tunnel.

00:49:35.000 Did you ever hear that story about how we figured out that...

00:49:39.000 Temple mayor?

00:49:40.000 What is this?

00:49:40.000 This is it?

00:49:41.000 Yeah.

00:49:42.000 How do you say that?

00:49:43.000 Make that larger, please.

00:49:46.000 Tino.

00:49:47.000 Tino Chitlan.

00:49:50.000 Hmm.

00:49:51.000 I don't think that's the same one.

00:49:54.000 80,000 came up with it.

00:49:55.000 That's the number of people?

00:49:57.000 Yeah.

00:49:57.000 Okay.

00:49:58.000 Maybe I've seen it...

00:49:59.000 Well, I think also one of the things you have to deal with when you're dealing with an English deciphering of really ancient Aztec and Mayan code is that it's phonetic.

00:50:10.000 So, like, there's sounds that they made that they're trying to replicate with English words, but they weren't really designed for English lettering.

00:50:17.000 You know?

00:50:18.000 I mean, they're designed...

00:50:19.000 They're hieroglyphs.

00:50:20.000 They have...

00:50:20.000 The way they wrote and spoke is very, very different than the way we do.

00:50:24.000 Yeah.

00:50:25.000 You know, they had a...

00:50:27.000 Like, some of the Mayan writing in particular...

00:50:30.000 What does it say there, Jamie?

00:50:32.000 I was looking for the word thousands in there.

00:50:34.000 Some of the...

00:50:38.000 Some of the Mayan languages were like images.

00:50:42.000 Terence McKenna described it this way.

00:50:43.000 He was like, you have an eyeball in a picture, and then you'd have a saw, and you'd have the bug, the ant, an ant, and then you'd have the flower, the rose.

00:50:54.000 And that's how you would say, I saw Aunt Rose.

00:50:58.000 Really?

00:50:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:50:59.000 Because we just assume that everyone should...

00:51:03.000 What is writing?

00:51:05.000 Writing is some symbols that you make that correspond to certain sounds that we've all agreed in our own personal definitions that we have in societies.

00:51:16.000 We've all agreed that this sound means a certain thing.

00:51:19.000 And we argue the parameters of what that means.

00:51:21.000 And that's why people get super offended when someone says it like...

00:51:26.000 Words are violence. 0.99

00:51:28.000 You're fucking with the real violence! 1.00

00:51:30.000 You don't know what violence is! 1.00

00:51:31.000 You've never been punched in the face.

00:51:32.000 You haven't seen somebody get sold as a slave.

00:51:36.000 I always say it's so important for young people to understand the difference between things.

00:51:40.000 There's a real tendency to equate For example, you wrote a memo at Google and it made it an unsafe work environment for women. 1.00

00:51:51.000 And you're Hitler. 0.86

00:51:52.000 Now you're Hitler. 0.91

00:51:53.000 And by the way, crab boats, coal mines, and Navy SEALs, they have a pretty dangerous work environment as well. 0.99

00:51:59.000 So let's talk about the fucking difference because it gets very weird and dangerous and meaningless. 0.83

00:52:08.000 And in fact, in my opinion, when you equate Everything. 0.99

00:52:12.000 When you basically say, you know, you shouted at me, that's assault versus breaking my nose.

00:52:17.000 And we have lots of different examples of that.

00:52:19.000 It does a disservice to people that have suffered real...

00:52:22.000 You know, violence.

00:52:23.000 You know what I think is going on, man?

00:52:24.000 I could sum it up in one word.

00:52:27.000 Tribalism.

00:52:27.000 Mm-hmm.

00:52:28.000 There's a natural inclination that we have to form like-minded groups and defend our position to the death.

00:52:35.000 That's right.

00:52:35.000 And this is what people are doing.

00:52:36.000 And it's not that you're wrong and he's right or he's right or you're wrong.

00:52:40.000 It's that all of us are acting like people trying to protect our team.

00:52:44.000 That's right.

00:52:44.000 And it's an incorrect way of behaving.

00:52:47.000 So if you say that, like, words are violence, like, guess what?

00:52:49.000 No, they're not.

00:52:50.000 No, they're not. 1.00

00:52:51.000 Go fuck yourself, too. 1.00

00:52:52.000 Is that violent? 1.00

00:52:52.000 This is what I say. 1.00

00:52:53.000 I'm talking about this in my stand-up.

00:52:55.000 It's much easier to be against something.

00:52:59.000 It's really easy to be against it.

00:53:00.000 When you join a team, what happens is you don't have to do the thinking.

00:53:03.000 Let the leader do all the thinking.

00:53:05.000 You got the bullet points.

00:53:06.000 Now, what your job as a soldier is to put down the other team.

00:53:09.000 It's much more difficult.

00:53:10.000 And think about this for young people listening.

00:53:12.000 It's way harder to define what you're for.

00:53:14.000 Defining what you're actually for.

00:53:16.000 So if you're a revolutionary, you want to burn down the whole...

00:53:20.000 You know, the whole house.

00:53:21.000 What are you going to replace it with, man?

00:53:23.000 That's really important.

00:53:24.000 Yeah, well, that's what they did with Libya. 1.00

00:53:26.000 Revolutionaries forget that shit all the time. 0.99

00:53:28.000 That's exactly what we're talking about. 1.00

00:53:28.000 That's right. 1.00

00:53:29.000 Like, when, you know, they came, they saw, he died.

00:53:32.000 Ha, ha, ha.

00:53:32.000 Right.

00:53:33.000 You got rid of the bad guy?

00:53:34.000 Cool.

00:53:34.000 Now what?

00:53:35.000 What are you replacing it with?

00:53:35.000 Guess what?

00:53:36.000 Welcome to the power vacuum. 1.00

00:53:37.000 You hope you're going to be dead before this fucking becomes a disaster in a failed state? 1.00

00:53:41.000 Well, you're not. 1.00

00:53:42.000 You're alive.

00:53:43.000 That's my problem when people, and we have a lot of people in our government, that look at a problem and go, oh, you're It's ISIS. What we need to do is get authorization to kill more of them in other places. 0.99

00:53:53.000 So what you're talking about is groups that identify as ISIS and that's going to solve the problem. 0.97

00:53:56.000 My problem with that typically is that it goes back to that one of my favorite sayings.

00:54:01.000 It's not what you think.

00:54:02.000 What you think is way less important than how you think.

00:54:04.000 Because a lot of times if you pay attention, you're thinking exactly the way your enemy's thinking.

00:54:08.000 I'm not so sure that that's how you do it.

00:54:11.000 I'm not so sure that bombing and shooting your way out of that problem is the way to go.

00:54:15.000 It might be in some cases.

00:54:16.000 I think you need SEAL Team 6, etc. 0.99

00:54:19.000 For certain shitheads. 0.99

00:54:20.000 We need them as a line of defense. 0.99

00:54:23.000 Everyone has to know that they're real.

00:54:24.000 That's one of the most important things about the elite forces of the government or of our military, is that people need to know they're real.

00:54:30.000 That's right.

00:54:31.000 You need to know that's real. 0.98

00:54:31.000 Because there's a hundred thousand, whatever the fuck there are, people right now that are just ready to go. 0.98

00:54:37.000 All you have to do is press a button, launch them, and you need to know that they're there. 0.97

00:54:41.000 Thank God for Tim Kennedy, etc.

00:54:43.000 Exactly.

00:54:43.000 Because remember this.

00:54:44.000 You need walls.

00:54:46.000 You need...

00:54:47.000 Strong walls and men to guard those walls.

00:54:49.000 And the people that don't, you haven't seen enough bad people.

00:54:51.000 That's right.

00:54:51.000 You don't, because the Mongols are out there.

00:54:53.000 They're out there.

00:54:54.000 Look at Libya. 0.68

00:54:55.000 They're out there.

00:54:56.000 That's right.

00:54:56.000 And these people, by the way, that are in the military, they're the only ones that are experiencing it.

00:55:00.000 You're back here, you're passing judgment on, they're saying, hey, there's zombies.

00:55:05.000 Yes. 1.00

00:55:06.000 Like, hey, the fucking world's gone crazy. 1.00

00:55:08.000 Hey, they're selling slaves in the streets. 0.99

00:55:10.000 Like, we need to all know that there are people that are in some really horrible parts of the world right now that can give you valuable information.

00:55:17.000 Doesn't mean we should kill those people. 0.98

00:55:18.000 Doesn't mean we should fucking nation build. 0.99

00:55:20.000 But we need to be aware of the landscape. 0.97

00:55:23.000 And keep this in mind, though, too.

00:55:26.000 That would be hard strength. 0.99

00:55:27.000 You need men like, you know, Tim Kennedy, etc., those guys who are our protectors, who we can push a button and go, hey, those fucking guys want it. 0.99

00:55:36.000 And there are people out there that want to kill us, for sure. 0.97

00:55:37.000 But I always think that it's also important to remember that those guys are doing that to protect the softer strengths in our community.

00:55:45.000 The people that are creative, the people that are inventing. 0.99

00:55:48.000 You can't have a doctor working on a cure for cancer and have the Mongols come over and smash all his fucking beakers. 1.00

00:55:52.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:55:53.000 Exactly.

00:55:53.000 That's why you need those.

00:55:54.000 So you need both.

00:55:55.000 But the problem is you do need both.

00:55:57.000 And the people on one side don't want to recognize the people on the other side because they wish they didn't have to exist.

00:56:02.000 Exactly.

00:56:02.000 But they do have to exist.

00:56:03.000 Of course they do. 0.99

00:56:04.000 There's a balance to this fucking thing, you know? 0.99

00:56:07.000 And here's the thing. 0.99

00:56:07.000 People in Libya, if Kevin Spacey had a TV show in Libya where he fucked all the grips right in the mouth before every episode, they would go, that's what he does. 0.99

00:56:15.000 He's the star. 1.00

00:56:16.000 He's the fucking star. 1.00

00:56:17.000 You're the star? 1.00

00:56:17.000 Who's the star? 1.00

00:56:18.000 Are you the star?

00:56:19.000 Exactly.

00:56:19.000 You're the star.

00:56:20.000 Kevin Spacey is the star. 1.00

00:56:21.000 You're the fucking star. 1.00

00:56:24.000 There's bombs going off the streets. 1.00

00:56:26.000 Open your mouth! 0.98

00:56:27.000 There's fucking IEDs at every fucking dead dog on the side of the road. 1.00

00:56:32.000 Kick him over, you lose your leg. 1.00

00:56:34.000 Yeah, okay. 1.00

00:56:35.000 Yeah, he fucked your mouth. 1.00

00:56:36.000 What's the problem? 1.00

00:56:36.000 He fucked your mouth! 1.00

00:56:37.000 He's Kevin Spacey! 1.00

00:56:39.000 He's the guy, he's the president, he fucked your mouth. 1.00

00:56:43.000 Come on, you want to work or not starve? 1.00

00:56:45.000 What you want to do?

00:56:46.000 What you want to do?

00:56:47.000 You want to live?

00:56:48.000 That is an offensive accent.

00:56:51.000 It's unreasonable.

00:56:52.000 I don't even know why you do it because it doesn't sound like anyone that's ever lived.

00:56:58.000 It's so offensive.

00:56:59.000 It's not a bad accent.

00:57:01.000 It's exactly what someone who doesn't know how to speak English would sound like. 0.92

00:57:04.000 I would wish that I could speak Arabic so I could realize how fucking shitty my bad Arabic would be if I learned Arabic for a couple years and tried to talk to those people. 1.00

00:57:14.000 There's a lot of rolling of the R's. 0.98

00:57:15.000 Make fun of me.

00:57:16.000 Go ahead.

00:57:17.000 I give you full permission to make fun of an American pretending to be or trying to speak Arabic accent. 0.53

00:57:22.000 Arabic is a very difficult language to learn.

00:57:24.000 Too hard for me, my friend.

00:57:26.000 Too hard.

00:57:27.000 My friend.

00:57:27.000 It's so hard.

00:57:29.000 It's such a rich language compared to like French.

00:57:31.000 He would give Kevin Spacey a raise if he was in Libya. 0.99

00:57:34.000 If he had a show in Libya, Netflix Libya would give him a raise.

00:57:38.000 I would go, this is method act.

00:57:41.000 This is how president would do. 1.00

00:57:43.000 Fuck the mouth of everyone he can fuck. 1.00

00:57:45.000 This is what president would do. 1.00

00:57:46.000 I like how you are behaving as a president all the time.

00:57:50.000 Go Frank Underwood. 1.00

00:57:51.000 Here's a fucking raise! 1.00

00:57:53.000 Just pull out a machine gun. 1.00

00:57:54.000 Da-da-da! 1.00

00:57:56.000 Shoot through the fucking ceiling. 1.00

00:57:57.000 Dust in the room. 1.00

00:57:59.000 Kiss him on the mouth and leave. 0.99

00:58:01.000 It's not a bad fucking... 1.00

00:58:02.000 That's a good... 1.00

00:58:03.000 You play a good Arab despot, dude. 0.99

00:58:05.000 Who's a pervert. 0.99

00:58:06.000 Listen, this is what you do. 1.00

00:58:07.000 You fuck everyone's mouth. 1.00

00:58:09.000 Do you ever hear about how the president of the longtime dictator of Yemen got power? 1.00

00:58:22.000 He was a major in the army.

00:58:24.000 I'm scared.

00:58:25.000 He just showed up.

00:58:26.000 He was there.

00:58:27.000 He was just going to be one of the majors, and the president was having a cabinet meeting.

00:58:31.000 And apparently, you can look this up, Jimmy, apparently he basically put a briefcase down or a suitcase down and just pulled out two guns and went, well, see you later.

00:58:41.000 Gush, gush, gush, gush, gush. 0.51

00:58:42.000 And killed the entire, decapitated the government. 0.95

00:58:45.000 He goes, I'm in charge now. 0.65

00:58:47.000 Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

00:58:49.000 What year was that?

00:58:50.000 That's in the 70s.

00:58:52.000 Jesus Christ!

00:58:52.000 Hey guys, you ever see what a pistol grip Uzi looks like?

00:58:55.000 See you later.

00:58:57.000 Yeah.

00:58:57.000 And then he ruled the nation with what's called an iron fist for about 30 years.

00:59:02.000 I'm sure you watch Narcos, right?

00:59:03.000 I certainly have. 1.00

00:59:05.000 How about that fucking show? 1.00

00:59:06.000 How about Pablo Escobar? 1.00

00:59:08.000 Amazing.

00:59:09.000 You know what's crazy?

00:59:10.000 Is apparently Colombia's bounced back tremendously.

00:59:13.000 And Colombia's like a really cool place to visit now.

00:59:15.000 I've heard.

00:59:16.000 That's what I keep hearing.

00:59:17.000 I have friends who've been there.

00:59:17.000 I want to go badly.

00:59:19.000 They say the most beautiful people.

00:59:22.000 Certainly the most beautiful women.

00:59:24.000 On the planet.

00:59:25.000 They're famed.

00:59:26.000 It's just amazing that they bounced back so quickly from being under control of a drug lord. 0.98

00:59:30.000 The Pablo Escobar story is so goddamn crazy. 0.97

00:59:34.000 It is crazy. 0.99

00:59:34.000 Ladies and gentlemen, you do not live forever. 0.99

00:59:38.000 Listen to me.

00:59:39.000 Make Coke legal.

00:59:41.000 It'll solve 80% of our problems.

00:59:44.000 Just make Coke legal.

00:59:45.000 I agree.

00:59:46.000 Just make Coke legal.

00:59:47.000 I agree.

00:59:48.000 Are we really pretending that whiskey is any better than Coke?

00:59:52.000 Are we really pretending that?

00:59:53.000 I don't know coke.

00:59:54.000 I don't do coke.

00:59:55.000 I would say coke is even better because it's devastating quickly.

00:59:57.000 So you do a lot of coke. 0.99

00:59:59.000 You can drink for 40 years and before you realize you're like, holy fuck, I don't have a house or anything else. 1.00

01:00:03.000 You fucking do blow. 1.00

01:00:04.000 Do blow every day for three years and come talk to me and see how your life works out. 1.00

01:00:07.000 I think that less people would be inclined to do it.

01:00:10.000 If you made it legal and then let everybody see the consequences of its use in a realistic way.

01:00:16.000 I think part of the problem with things being illegal is that people can't choose for themselves.

01:00:21.000 I agree.

01:00:22.000 And if people can't choose for themselves, it's forbidden.

01:00:24.000 And forbidden things...

01:00:25.000 Just like that black deck back during the Revolutionary War.

01:00:28.000 Become more tasty!

01:00:30.000 They become more tasty!

01:00:32.000 The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.

01:00:37.000 I mean, that's all forbidden stuff.

01:00:38.000 But you can't...

01:00:39.000 Human beings should not be able to tell...

01:00:41.000 This is the bottom line.

01:00:41.000 Human beings should not be able to tell other human beings what they can or can't do with their own bodies where it doesn't make sense.

01:00:48.000 And it doesn't make sense if you have some things that are legal, like cigarettes, and some things that are legal, like whiskey.

01:00:55.000 I don't have a problem with cigarettes being legal, and I don't have a problem with whiskey being legal.

01:00:58.000 You should be able to do whatever you want.

01:01:00.000 But I think it should be with all of the things.

01:01:02.000 Like, how come these things...

01:01:04.000 Right.

01:01:04.000 Why can't...

01:01:06.000 You're telling me that whiskey's legal, but mushrooms aren't.

01:01:10.000 What year is this?

01:01:12.000 What are we doing?

01:01:13.000 Are we pretending?

01:01:14.000 Are we pretending there's no science?

01:01:15.000 Are we in witchcraft days or no?

01:01:17.000 Let me know when the witchcraft days are over. 0.95

01:01:19.000 Because I would say witchcraft should be over now.

01:01:22.000 So if it's over now, we have to look at science, right?

01:01:25.000 Yeah.

01:01:25.000 Okay.

01:01:26.000 Well, you can't let me buy oxytocin or oxycontin from the fucking pharmacy. 1.00

01:01:32.000 You can't let me buy that. 0.99

01:01:32.000 The doses are controlled. 0.99

01:01:33.000 Because I stubbed my fucking toe. 1.00

01:01:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:36.000 What do you think would happen if we made cocaine legal? 0.99

01:01:39.000 Nothing!

01:01:40.000 Would consumption go up?

01:01:42.000 Yes, for a little bit.

01:01:43.000 Yeah.

01:01:43.000 A lot of girls would show their inner hoe.

01:01:46.000 They'd let it out. 0.99

01:01:48.000 A lot of dudes would make some important business deals that they'll never fucking complete. 0.97

01:01:53.000 That's that joke. 0.66

01:01:53.000 Who was that joke who was like, when you do cocaine, you want to start a business together? 0.66

01:01:56.000 Mike Young had that joke.

01:01:57.000 It's a great joke.

01:01:59.000 It's so true. 0.84

01:02:00.000 It's so true. 0.84

01:02:01.000 Let's open a donut shop. 0.99

01:02:02.000 What the fuck are we doing, dude? 0.99

01:02:03.000 People always want to talk to you about their passion. 0.99

01:02:05.000 Yeah.

01:02:06.000 Talk about your passion.

01:02:07.000 It's a weird drug to be around.

01:02:09.000 I was in Jamaica, and I'm not a big drug guy, but I did a bag of coke.

01:02:15.000 A whole bag?

01:02:16.000 A guy sold it to me.

01:02:17.000 I was smoking weed, and this guy I was with, we were hanging, he goes, you ever do blow?

01:02:19.000 I was like, I'm not a big drug guy.

01:02:21.000 I don't even smoke weed much.

01:02:23.000 And he goes, try this. 0.99

01:02:24.000 And I did one line of cocaine, Jamaican cocaine, and I was like, this must have fallen off a boat because this shit's got a yellow thing to it. 0.99

01:02:31.000 And I was like, first of all, I'm the coolest motherfucker on the planet. 0.99

01:02:34.000 Second of all, We're going to play ping pong for a good three hours. 0.99

01:02:37.000 Third of all, then I'm going to go to my fucking hotel room, and I'm going to wake my girlfriend up and tell her that I'm a genius, and then, wait for it, I'm going to write for three, four hours, keep doing cocaine, and I'm going to change my career because I'm going to write a three-hour bit on how God is a Rastafarian. 0.97

01:02:53.000 How funny is that? 0.99

01:02:54.000 And I wrote, stand up, God is a Rastafarian. 0.99

01:02:56.000 I kept waking my girlfriend up and going, I'm writing the funniest shit. 0.99

01:02:59.000 You're not going to believe this. 0.99

01:02:59.000 And she was like, I can't believe this. 0.99

01:03:02.000 And I looked at it, then I passed out. 0.99

01:03:05.000 Before my heart could give out and I looked at the shit I wrote about eight hours later and it was it was basically God's a Rasta and he speaks like a Jamaican and that was the joke and I thought it was brilliant when I was fucking doing the blow. 1.00

01:03:18.000 Well in the right state of mind if you captured that idea like if you gave that bit to Dave Chappelle. 0.95

01:03:23.000 Sure.

01:03:23.000 Maybe he could make something out of it.

01:03:25.000 Me, not Brian Callen when he's high on cocaine in Jamaica. 1.00

01:03:27.000 It's like you needed to figure out what the fuck you were trying to say. 0.99

01:03:30.000 Like, I've written things down on marijuana, and I'll figure it out when I'm sober. 1.00

01:03:35.000 But then you try to read it when you're sober, and you're like, what the fuck was my point? 0.98

01:03:40.000 What is the point here? 0.98

01:03:41.000 Yeah.

01:03:41.000 But they did studies on people on drugs, I think cocaine, and had them play music musicians and stuff.

01:03:47.000 And they were like, I thought I was amazing.

01:03:49.000 And then they listened to what they're playing. 1.00

01:03:50.000 They're like, oh, what the fuck? 0.99

01:03:51.000 Well, the argument was made when what killed the music after 1968 was, you know, the Monterey music, I mean, rock and roll festival with Hendrix and the Mamas and Papas. 1.00

01:04:01.000 So what gave birth to that renaissance was marijuana and psychedelics.

01:04:05.000 That enhanced the music.

01:04:07.000 Oh, for sure. 0.99

01:04:08.000 When cocaine and heroin came in, it fucking killed it. 0.99

01:04:12.000 Yeah, it killed it. 1.00

01:04:13.000 People died.

01:04:14.000 Yes.

01:04:15.000 Literally.

01:04:16.000 I'm a boogeyman.

01:04:18.000 That's what I am. 1.00

01:04:19.000 Some of that shit's good. 0.98

01:04:20.000 Yeah, there's a lot of good stuff, but it's the idea behind that music. 0.98

01:04:23.000 Like, how about Showgirls?

01:04:25.000 Showgirls, the movie, would not exist if it wasn't for cocaine. 1.00

01:04:27.000 That movie is a goddamn cocaine movie. 0.99

01:04:30.000 That movie's a movie where you could see the blood coming out of their nose while they were watching the edits. 1.00

01:04:35.000 Like, yes!

01:04:36.000 Yes!

01:04:37.000 No! 1.00

01:04:38.000 You fucking keep that seat in! 1.00

01:04:40.000 You make it longer! 1.00

01:04:41.000 More flopping in the pool!

01:04:43.000 Ah, it's a terrible movie. 1.00

01:04:44.000 That fucking sex scene between the girl from Saved by the Bell. 1.00

01:04:48.000 What is her name? 1.00

01:04:48.000 Elizabeth something or other. 1.00

01:04:50.000 Berkley.

01:04:51.000 Elizabeth Berkley.

01:04:51.000 And who was the dude?

01:04:52.000 Kyle McLaughlin-Clank?

01:04:55.000 That guy? 0.82

01:04:55.000 Yeah, she was all naked. 0.82

01:04:57.000 She's very beautiful.

01:04:58.000 But there's a scene when they're in the pool where they're making love, Brian Callen. 0.99

01:05:02.000 And if a girl was doing that, if you were having sex with a girl and she started doing that, you would immediately, and I know you, you're a pervert, you would still immediately call a doctor. 0.97

01:05:14.000 You, as perverted as you are, as much as you love ladies, as much as you would be so excited to be that Kyle McLaughlin guy with Elizabeth Berkley and she's wrapped around and she's flopping around in the pool, you would call the police. 0.99

01:05:31.000 You'd call the police. 0.96

01:05:33.000 This is only part of it.

01:05:34.000 So this is okay.

01:05:35.000 I can handle this. 1.00

01:05:36.000 This bitch is just getting crazy. 1.00

01:05:37.000 Woo! 1.00

01:05:39.000 The titties are flopping. 0.99

01:05:40.000 First of all, if you're calm, how do you not shoot all over your own face? 0.99

01:05:45.000 Here's the problem. 0.98

01:05:46.000 Here's the problem.

01:05:47.000 She starts flailing. 0.98

01:05:48.000 She's like throwing herself back.

01:05:50.000 And he's hanging on.

01:05:51.000 And by the way, he blew out both his rotator cuffs in the scene.

01:05:54.000 For real?

01:05:54.000 He had to get both of his shoulders completely reconstructed.

01:05:58.000 I only hope you're telling the truth. 1.00

01:05:59.000 Fuck, that's fine. 1.00

01:06:00.000 He tore his labrum. 1.00

01:06:01.000 He tore the bicep tendon from the bone. 0.99

01:06:04.000 God damn it. 1.00

01:06:05.000 She's flopping around like she's dying. 1.00

01:06:06.000 I would go, you gotta let me know if you're gonna do that.

01:06:10.000 You can't just pretend to be dying.

01:06:12.000 Because if you just die, I feel like, girl's just lit. 0.99

01:06:15.000 She's crazy. 1.00

01:06:16.000 And I let you die. 1.00

01:06:18.000 You might break my dick, too. 1.00

01:06:19.000 But what if I let her die? 1.00

01:06:21.000 What if you let her die? 1.00

01:06:22.000 You're like, you asshole. 1.00

01:06:23.000 She was having a seizure. 1.00

01:06:24.000 You came inside of her?

01:06:26.000 She was having a seizure and you came inside of her? 1.00

01:06:28.000 Dude, what the fuck? 1.00

01:06:29.000 I thought she was just being freaky. 1.00

01:06:33.000 You didn't see.

01:06:34.000 We have a video of it.

01:06:35.000 You didn't see there was something wrong with her? 1.00

01:06:37.000 You fucking selfish asshole. 1.00

01:06:40.000 All you cared about was coming. 1.00

01:06:42.000 Yeah.

01:06:43.000 She was dying, man!

01:06:45.000 She's flopping around! 1.00

01:06:46.000 She can't breathe! 0.98

01:06:47.000 She doesn't see anymore! 0.98

01:06:51.000 She's dying! 0.77

01:06:52.000 Take it easy!

01:06:53.000 How can you... 1.00

01:06:54.000 You're raping her here! 1.00

01:06:55.000 You're holding onto her! 1.00

01:06:57.000 You're keeping her inside of you! 0.96

01:06:58.000 If you just let her go! 1.00

01:07:00.000 There's no way!

01:07:01.000 She's trying to get away! 1.00

01:07:02.000 How long does this go on for?

01:07:03.000 It's just a gif of it.

01:07:04.000 It's just on repeat.

01:07:05.000 She's trying to get away. 1.00

01:07:06.000 She's trying to get away. 1.00

01:07:07.000 Congratulations on all that.

01:07:09.000 There's nothing funny about rape, ladies and gentlemen, but this isn't rape, and that's why I made a joke.

01:07:13.000 I'm holding my...

01:07:13.000 It's not a rape joke.

01:07:14.000 I'm in a monk scream right now. 0.98

01:07:15.000 It's a joke about something you absolutely know is definitely not rape, and I'm being ridiculous. 0.98

01:07:20.000 Joke. 0.89

01:07:20.000 Yeah, everybody. 0.89

01:07:21.000 It's funny how you have to do that nowadays.

01:07:23.000 Gotta do that.

01:07:23.000 In today's climate.

01:07:24.000 I know you're ready.

01:07:25.000 I know you're ready to get mad at me.

01:07:26.000 Don't get mad at me.

01:07:27.000 Everybody, we need to stop doing this.

01:07:29.000 We need to figure out what's okay.

01:07:30.000 Stop being so literal.

01:07:31.000 Stop being so literal.

01:07:33.000 We need to start realizing this.

01:07:37.000 If we had real problems in the world, and the Kevin Spacey thing was a bad example.

01:07:40.000 I was just trying to be funny about the Libyan. 1.00

01:07:42.000 Don't let Kevin Spacey grab your dick. 1.00

01:07:43.000 I get it. 1.00

01:07:44.000 I get it.

01:07:44.000 I'm not saying that.

01:07:45.000 That's not what I'm saying.

01:07:46.000 Not what you're saying.

01:07:46.000 What I'm saying is we just need to be super cognizant of the fact that there is a real highly likelihood that we have achieved the highest level of civilization the world has ever known.

01:07:58.000 It's right now.

01:07:59.000 And we need to be aware of that.

01:08:01.000 We've made progress in other words.

01:08:03.000 And any massive and any seemingly important thing that you want to go off on, you're taking energy away from recognizing the fact that we need to protect the crucial elements of this amazing thing that we have right now.

01:08:20.000 And one of the things that we have to do is we've got to avoid this weird tribalism that I keep talking about.

01:08:24.000 Tribal thinking.

01:08:25.000 Because it's not just sexual.

01:08:28.000 It's political.

01:08:29.000 It's socio-economic. 0.99

01:08:31.000 It's like, I'm just a fucking blue-collar guy. 1.00

01:08:33.000 No, you're a fucking person! 1.00

01:08:35.000 We're all just people. 1.00

01:08:36.000 You're in a trap.

01:08:37.000 Human beings, we're genetically predisposed to be tribal.

01:08:41.000 Us versus them. 1.00

01:08:42.000 Us versus them. 1.00

01:08:43.000 We've got to get past that.

01:08:44.000 If we're a tribe, we should be tribe planet Earth.

01:08:47.000 There's famous Ronald Reagan speech.

01:08:49.000 Remember that Ronald Reagan speech?

01:08:50.000 He gave a speech, I want to say it's in front of Congress, but he gave a speech where he was talking about how quickly we would set aside our differences if we were attacked by an alien force from another world.

01:09:01.000 Right.

01:09:01.000 And all of us would realize, I mean, this heat of the Cold War.

01:09:04.000 I mean, this is like very scary times.

01:09:06.000 Do you remember growing up?

01:09:07.000 We're the same age.

01:09:08.000 Yes, very much so.

01:09:08.000 Worried about nuclear war.

01:09:09.000 The Soviets were a real threat. 0.96

01:09:11.000 Nuclear annihilation was actually something we all thought about every day.

01:09:16.000 Yes.

01:09:16.000 And the further we're away from that, the more we forgot.

01:09:21.000 But if you just pay attention to Libya, just pay attention to Afghanistan, pay attention to Iraq, pay attention to all sorts of parts of the world, North Korea, things are not fucking stable at all.

01:09:32.000 We're assuming that things are going to stay stable because they're stable right here. 0.99

01:09:36.000 But we're all on the same goddamn planet. 0.99

01:09:39.000 And that's a real problem. 1.00

01:09:41.000 It's a real problem.

01:09:42.000 And I think we're better at figuring this out than we have ever been before.

01:09:46.000 But there's a lot of hiccups and bumps along the way.

01:09:49.000 But one of the things that's going to eliminate a good percentage of them is if we can isolate...

01:09:54.000 Tribalism and see it when it's happening and call it for what it is and avoid it. 0.99

01:09:59.000 It's very tough now though and I'll tell you why because there used to be one of the great people always talk about how religion was responsible for so much violence but they always forget religion was also responsible for a great deal of unification so there was a national narrative in this country We were a Christian nation for a long time in this country,

01:10:16.000 and there was a national narrative.

01:10:18.000 There were just certain things that people collectively agreed upon, and usually it started in the church, or at least it had its values in the church.

01:10:26.000 I would argue that even our constitution has been greatly influenced by the Judeo-Christian ethic.

01:10:35.000 All men are created equal, for example, is a Christian idea.

01:10:38.000 There's no way to prove it biologically or mathematically, but it's a nice starting point.

01:10:42.000 It's literally what our justice system is predicated on.

01:10:45.000 All men are created equal.

01:10:46.000 Even though LeBron James and I have totally different genomes and he's an avatar and we're not equal, if you kill me, you kill LeBron, you do the same amount of time in jail, theoretically.

01:10:55.000 That would be the idea behind our thing.

01:10:56.000 He should be worth more.

01:10:57.000 He should be worth a little bit more than that.

01:10:59.000 I would agree.

01:11:00.000 I would agree.

01:11:01.000 And what's really interesting is how different we are, how we all strive not to be equal, right?

01:11:07.000 I want to be better than everybody else, but we believe in it.

01:11:08.000 It's a really nice starting point.

01:11:09.000 You know something I read that's really important, and I always bring it up to people, that...

01:11:13.000 Free will, or the ability to do whatever you want, a freedom of expression, a freedom of pursuits, breeds inequality.

01:11:24.000 Because if you give people true, total freedom, some people are going to try harder than others.

01:11:29.000 Some people are going to be obsessed.

01:11:30.000 Inequality is not a bad thing. 0.99

01:11:31.000 Some people want to be Tyler Perry and have a fucking island. 0.96

01:11:34.000 Yeah, but remember, there's a fundamental difference, right? 0.99

01:11:36.000 Well, what's the difference between being an American and a communist?

01:11:39.000 An American believes in equality of opportunity.

01:11:41.000 I'm not saying we have that, but that would be the goal.

01:11:42.000 Then there's equality of outcome.

01:11:44.000 The only way to have equality of outcome is to keep down the people that work harder, that are smarter and more talented.

01:11:49.000 You've got to make everybody equal.

01:11:51.000 That's, to me, a fundamental evil.

01:11:53.000 That's my problem with Marxism.

01:11:55.000 The only way to do that is with force.

01:11:57.000 The problem is it's never worked.

01:11:59.000 No!

01:12:00.000 It's never worked and it almost always leads to mass murder.

01:12:04.000 Right.

01:12:04.000 Exactly.

01:12:05.000 But nobody wants to think that because the idea behind it is beautiful.

01:12:08.000 We don't need to compete.

01:12:09.000 We should just share money and share wealth.

01:12:11.000 Look up Pol Pot, Mao Zedong, Hitler, Lenin, and Stalin.

01:12:15.000 Those are communist dictatorships. 0.65

01:12:16.000 Hitler was more of a fascist. 0.88

01:12:18.000 Yeah, and people also don't realize that the Nazis were the national socialists.

01:12:22.000 That's right.

01:12:24.000 It's a real problem with the idea in execution.

01:12:27.000 But the idea in the most romantic view possible is that we don't need to compete with each other, we don't need to be greedy, and that we can all share resources and wealth and we all get along and have income equality.

01:12:38.000 But I think it's important to recognize the thought behind the best version of that.

01:12:45.000 Right?

01:12:45.000 The thought behind the best version of that is someone that just really wants to be an amazing person.

01:12:49.000 Yeah.

01:12:49.000 Right?

01:12:50.000 And they really want other people to be amazing people as well.

01:12:52.000 They want everybody to be fine.

01:12:53.000 They strive for everybody to get along.

01:12:55.000 So let's just, like, combine our wealth.

01:12:57.000 We don't have to get rich.

01:12:58.000 Let's just, like, provide for the poor.

01:13:00.000 It's super important.

01:13:01.000 Let's, like, give healthcare to everybody before anything.

01:13:03.000 Hey, man, we don't need the military.

01:13:05.000 Let's just relax.

01:13:05.000 Okay, you're gonna get invaded.

01:13:07.000 It's a matter of time before the Russians show up at the borders, and they're going to fuck your mouth. 1.00

01:13:11.000 Yes. 1.00

01:13:11.000 But on that, let me piggyback on that. 1.00

01:13:14.000 They've been doing that forever.

01:13:14.000 Remember that the idea, Adam Smith's idea, and the idea behind making money was also that when you are rich and when you are an aristocrat, you have a responsibility to give back to your community.

01:13:24.000 That was very much ingrained in the British sensibility and even in the American aristocracy like the Kennedys in this country.

01:13:32.000 I'll go one better.

01:13:33.000 And you have a responsibility, correct.

01:13:35.000 Bill Gates.

01:13:35.000 One of the boys Bill Gates has engendered himself with a lot of us is that he does an amazing amount of charity.

01:13:40.000 Amazing amount.

01:13:41.000 He's amazing.

01:13:42.000 Very creative with it, too. 1.00

01:13:42.000 And, by the way, still lives like a fucking gangster. 1.00

01:13:45.000 It's not even like it's putting a dent in his lifestyle. 0.99

01:13:48.000 I mean, he's helping so many people out with the Bill Gates Foundation.

01:13:51.000 Warren Buffett does the same thing.

01:13:52.000 Warren Buffett gave his kids, now it's up to $7 billion.

01:13:55.000 He was like, go make the world a better place.

01:13:57.000 Amazing.

01:13:57.000 And he's got all kinds of charities.

01:13:59.000 And he's, by all accounts, a super sweet guy.

01:14:02.000 Yes.

01:14:02.000 They're really humble.

01:14:03.000 But back to what you were talking about, about how we're breaking into tribes.

01:14:06.000 I think that we have lost any kind of national narrative.

01:14:11.000 And what I mean by that is that people don't even trust their own institutions.

01:14:14.000 With the crumbling of any kind of religious institution, it seems that now people are looking for...

01:14:20.000 They don't trust main sources of information.

01:14:22.000 So they don't trust... 0.90

01:14:23.000 Most of the mainstream media has earned their shitty reputation, because now it's about clickbait. 0.91

01:14:28.000 Now it's about kind of creating something. 0.69

01:14:30.000 You want to be first, not true.

01:14:32.000 Being true is not as important as being the first one with the story and blah, blah, blah.

01:14:37.000 I think that there certainly are agendas with liberal media, conservative media, they both have their own agendas. 0.99

01:14:41.000 The sneaky shit that people do. 1.00

01:14:43.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:14:43.000 So what happens is people, I think media's favorability is in the single fucking digits or something, like among most Americans. 1.00

01:14:50.000 Let me give you an example how this works sometimes.

01:14:53.000 Somebody wrote a good article about the debate that Eddie Bravo and I had about the world being flat, but the title of the article was, Joe Rogan argues with someone about the world being flat.

01:15:07.000 So it seems like I was saying that the world is flat.

01:15:12.000 So you immediately click it, but right away, the first sentence is, God bless Joe Rogan.

01:15:17.000 And then he was in a conversation with his friend who was arguing about the possibility.

01:15:21.000 But like, okay, I see what you did.

01:15:23.000 He hooked you.

01:15:26.000 You got it.

01:15:26.000 You did it.

01:15:27.000 You did the right thing.

01:15:27.000 It's okay.

01:15:28.000 But because of that, even though it's very insignificant, a bunch of people have said to me, bro, you used to believe the fucking earth was flat. 0.96

01:15:35.000 I saw that. 0.95

01:15:35.000 I was like... 0.95

01:15:37.000 No.

01:15:37.000 I bet you didn't.

01:15:39.000 I bet you didn't see that.

01:15:40.000 CNN and Huffington Post, both news.

01:15:42.000 They do that.

01:15:43.000 They all do that.

01:15:43.000 I can't stand either one of those.

01:15:45.000 It's sneaky.

01:15:45.000 I think CNN and Huffington Post are terrible, but both of them do that.

01:15:49.000 They'll hit you with this, like, Donald Trump just said one word to change the entire presidency. 1.00

01:15:54.000 Yes, you fuck! 1.00

01:15:55.000 Let me see what the fuck! 1.00

01:15:56.000 You fuck! 1.00

01:15:57.000 Dude, Keith Oberman is signed off. 1.00

01:15:59.000 He's one of my favorite things to watch.

01:16:01.000 I like him.

01:16:02.000 He's a spicy character.

01:16:05.000 Super liberal, but I like him anyway.

01:16:07.000 Super liberal, but I think you have to have that.

01:16:09.000 Look, I'm a...

01:16:11.000 Who I am right now, I'm an open-minded, friendly person that allows for all ideas.

01:16:17.000 Keith Olbermann is as far left as you're gonna get and I like the fact that he was out there.

01:16:22.000 I think having a wacky dude out there standing in front of a cable access show background with red on one side and blue on the other and he's got his notes in front of him and he's wearing a tie and he delivers these super eloquent Yeah.

01:16:38.000 Dissertations.

01:16:38.000 Yeah.

01:16:39.000 But he's decided he's gonna step away.

01:16:41.000 And he said he's retiring from politics because he thinks that Donald Trump's done.

01:16:45.000 He does?

01:16:46.000 Yeah, he thinks Donald Trump, he lists a series of things.

01:16:49.000 Keith Olbermann says he's retiring from political commentary.

01:16:53.000 Yeah, and he lists a series of things.

01:16:56.000 Oh, you know, good for them. 0.99

01:16:57.000 He's a fucking formidable opponent. 1.00

01:16:58.000 He knows his shit. 1.00

01:16:59.000 I would not want to debate that guy. 1.00

01:17:00.000 He knows his shit. 1.00

01:17:01.000 He did one thing, though, that was pretty fucking stupid. 1.00

01:17:04.000 You know with a Tommy Lauren girl, she's like a conservative hot chick, hot white girl with blonde hair. 1.00

01:17:13.000 No.

01:17:14.000 She put a flag on, like she was like holding up a flag in a photo, and he wrote something about not, you shouldn't use the flag that way.

01:17:24.000 And then Donald Trump Jr. tweeted a photo of the two of them together with her with the flag and keep Oberlin wrapped in a flag.

01:17:32.000 Oh boy. 0.99

01:17:33.000 Said you know something about him being stupid some some funny thing That's also catty to say that you know stop being catty fucking bullshit I understand you don't like her because she's a hot girl That's a conservative and she says ridiculous shit sometimes and she does but like you gotta save your attacks You can't throw rocks at every target you can't stop for every dog that barks on the way home or you never get home and This is why George Washington talked about the importance of civility. 1.00

01:18:00.000 It's so important. 1.00

01:18:01.000 You need civility.

01:18:02.000 If you start attacking each other, if I start, you know, I heard a rumor that Donald Trump in meetings when he was negotiating somebody, he'd go, oh, Jesus, your breath. 1.00

01:18:10.000 Holy fuck, you get the worst breath. 1.00

01:18:12.000 And he'd just get you on your heels. 1.00

01:18:13.000 You'd be like, what?

01:18:14.000 Does he do that?

01:18:14.000 Yeah, apparently that was some of the tactics.

01:18:16.000 He would just insult you and get you off your pins.

01:18:19.000 Makes sense.

01:18:19.000 Now you're emotional and you're insecure about your breath.

01:18:22.000 Now you can't talk as much.

01:18:23.000 You know, there are little techniques like that.

01:18:24.000 I think Donald Trump would be super fun if he was like your uncle that you were going to take your girlfriend to when you first started dating.

01:18:31.000 Like, say if you dated a girl and it's like three months in and you're in love and you're parked outside your uncle's house. 0.99

01:18:36.000 You're like, listen, we're going to spark this joint and we're going to go meet my fucking crazy uncle. 0.99

01:18:41.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:18:41.000 He's a beautiful guy. 0.99

01:18:43.000 He's flawed, but he's crazy. 0.95

01:18:45.000 And don't look at his hair. 0.99

01:18:45.000 And we're just going to smoke this weed. 0.99

01:18:48.000 And then like...

01:18:48.000 And when he talks about himself, just see him fascinated.

01:18:53.000 And you pass the joint.

01:18:54.000 You guys are lucky I'm here.

01:18:55.000 And you go in there so high that you're barely alive.

01:18:59.000 So you got like 180 beats per minute.

01:19:01.000 Your heart's going, what are we doing?

01:19:03.000 Dude, I golfed with his caddy.

01:19:05.000 Obama's caddy.

01:19:06.000 George W's caddy.

01:19:07.000 Okay.

01:19:08.000 And Cameron.

01:19:08.000 Wow.

01:19:08.000 I didn't know you golfed three times.

01:19:10.000 Yes, thank you very much.

01:19:11.000 All three times those guys?

01:19:11.000 No, same guy.

01:19:12.000 Same guy.

01:19:13.000 Same guy who caddied for all the presidents.

01:19:15.000 Number one, he said this.

01:19:15.000 You made it sound like there's three trips.

01:19:16.000 No, no, no.

01:19:17.000 No, I wish.

01:19:18.000 No, no, no.

01:19:19.000 And he said, he said, best golfer in the group, hands down by far, Donald Trump.

01:19:23.000 Yeah.

01:19:25.000 He doesn't like Trump, but basically said, he's very nice, very funny, and cracked him up.

01:19:32.000 He looked at me and goes, how do you think I'm doing?

01:19:34.000 And Cameron was like, I think you've got a lot on your plate.

01:19:37.000 And then apparently he drove by, they were at his club in Key Largo or whatever, Mar-a-Lago, and these people were there, and he just walked, as they were driving by in the cart, he goes, do you guys have any idea how lucky you are?

01:19:47.000 You're in the best club in the world!

01:19:48.000 And they just kept driving.

01:19:50.000 He's a very entertaining dude.

01:19:52.000 I'm a little bummed out at myself that I didn't do Celebrity Apprentice.

01:19:56.000 Really?

01:19:56.000 Yeah, because Celebrity Apprentice was available when we were doing the second run of Fear Factor.

01:20:01.000 Right.

01:20:02.000 And they asked me to do it.

01:20:03.000 And this is when we were on NBC. I was like, God, I want to move my family to New York for a few months.

01:20:09.000 And, you know...

01:20:11.000 Mrs. Rogan was down for it, but I was like, I don't know if that's a smart move.

01:20:15.000 It seems like a lot of work for something that's not really my thing.

01:20:18.000 I don't really want to do it, but I kind of wish I did it now.

01:20:21.000 So you get to know Trump?

01:20:22.000 Yeah.

01:20:23.000 I don't know how well you get to know him, though.

01:20:25.000 I get to know him if you let me hang on to him.

01:20:27.000 Yeah.

01:20:28.000 Just let me be close to smell you.

01:20:29.000 I'm sure he'd be a blast.

01:20:31.000 I'm sure he'd be a lot of fun because he's one of those guys.

01:20:33.000 Maybe I could talk to him.

01:20:34.000 Maybe we could have fixed things.

01:20:35.000 Maybe we could have told him, dude, just take it down a notch.

01:20:37.000 It would be okay.

01:20:37.000 He's not interested.

01:20:38.000 The problem with him is that he's not interested in what he doesn't know.

01:20:41.000 That's how I feel.

01:20:42.000 Maybe.

01:20:42.000 I don't know him.

01:20:43.000 I feel like we could have a sit-in with Homeboy.

01:20:45.000 Yeah.

01:20:46.000 Just him.

01:20:47.000 God, if you get him on this podcast, I have to come in.

01:20:49.000 Just wear him out.

01:20:51.000 Relax.

01:20:52.000 Relax.

01:20:53.000 He never drinks, doesn't smoke.

01:20:54.000 Of course.

01:20:54.000 That's the problem.

01:20:55.000 It's part of the problem.

01:20:56.000 You need a separation from your normal states of consciousness, otherwise you're acting on momentum your entire life.

01:21:02.000 So you live like a child.

01:21:03.000 They did a psychological profile that I thought was interesting on him, which was that he's always been on the outside.

01:21:08.000 So his dad wasn't allowed to be part of the developers in New York.

01:21:12.000 He had to go elsewhere.

01:21:13.000 And he was always kind of like kept out.

01:21:15.000 And he is now in the media.

01:21:17.000 So his way of...

01:21:18.000 And I think Roy Cohn...

01:21:20.000 The infamous lawyer was his mentor and said, attack.

01:21:26.000 Always attack.

01:21:27.000 Meet any threat with an attack.

01:21:28.000 Listen, the reason why he's president is because Obama mocked him at the press corps conference.

01:21:34.000 Remember that?

01:21:35.000 Remember that press corps dinner meeting thing?

01:21:38.000 And Obama mocked him and said, I'm one thing that you're never going to be, and that's the president.

01:21:43.000 And he's like, oh, for real?

01:21:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:21:45.000 I'm fucking older than you. 0.99

01:21:47.000 Good luck. 1.00

01:21:47.000 I'm ridiculous. 1.00

01:21:48.000 Look at my hair. 0.99

01:21:49.000 And I'm still going to be the president. 1.00

01:21:50.000 How about you go fuck yourself? 1.00

01:21:51.000 How about you don't know what you're dealing with here? 1.00

01:21:53.000 How about...

01:21:54.000 He was amazing.

01:21:55.000 He was so amazing in the debates.

01:21:56.000 He was so entertaining.

01:21:57.000 He was funny.

01:21:58.000 And even George...

01:21:59.000 Jeff Bush said, you can't insult your way to the White House, my friend.

01:22:02.000 Yeah.

01:22:03.000 Yeah, you can.

01:22:04.000 Yeah, you can.

01:22:04.000 You definitely can when you're fighting.

01:22:06.000 Look, it's like, what's really ironic is one of the things that's come out.

01:22:11.000 Joe Rubin trying to pretend he knows things about politics.

01:22:14.000 I don't. 1.00

01:22:15.000 But what I do know about is talking shit. 1.00

01:22:17.000 I'm good at talking shit. 1.00

01:22:18.000 And I understand the strategies behind talking shit. 1.00

01:22:21.000 And one of the strategies behind talking shit was that Hillary felt very confident that if she could get Donald into a position of being the primary candidate against her, she would have an easy path to the White House. 0.99

01:22:32.000 Because she felt like Donald was so ridiculous that the other candidates, by even being associated with him in the same party, there would be revolt. 0.99

01:22:41.000 It would be chaos. 0.97

01:22:42.000 And if he won, he'd be an easy target. 0.98

01:22:44.000 And there's all this written banter back and forth where she was trying to connect him with the most ridiculous people.

01:22:51.000 Like, of course, there was just all this strategy with Ted Cruz where they had this idea of how they would make them all look marginalized. 0.69

01:23:00.000 Easy path to the White House.

01:23:02.000 And he just threw a monkey wrench, ka-clang, right into that theory. 1.00

01:23:07.000 It's like, stupid, I'm the worst person for you to argue. 1.00

01:23:09.000 I'm going to say you should be in jail. 1.00

01:23:11.000 Lock her up. 0.91

01:23:13.000 Lock her up. 0.91

01:23:13.000 And she was like, what? 0.91

01:23:14.000 And I'll make shit up too. 0.99

01:23:15.000 I'll make up my own facts if I have to. 0.99

01:23:18.000 I'll do whatever I want. 1.00

01:23:18.000 And I'll get caught on tape talking about how girls just let you grab them in the pussy. 1.00

01:23:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:24.000 Just a few weeks out. 1.00

01:23:26.000 Yeah.

01:23:26.000 No problem.

01:23:27.000 Locker room talk.

01:23:28.000 It was locker room talk.

01:23:29.000 Not a problem.

01:23:30.000 Let's talk about uranium.

01:23:31.000 Dude, I thought he was done.

01:23:32.000 When I heard that, I thought, oh, he's definitely done.

01:23:34.000 Nope.

01:23:34.000 President.

01:23:35.000 By the way, what's really shocking, what was it?

01:23:37.000 44% of the white women voted for him? 1.00

01:23:40.000 Because they want that dick. 1.00

01:23:43.000 Well, they weren't that offended by it, I guess. 1.00

01:23:45.000 Right?

01:23:46.000 There's a lot of women right now that just shut off this podcast. 1.00

01:23:49.000 You fucking asshole. 1.00

01:23:50.000 Right when I was starting to think you weren't an asshole. 1.00

01:23:53.000 It's just comedy. 0.99

01:23:54.000 I don't really think that 44%.

01:23:56.000 I think people didn't like Hillary. 1.00

01:23:57.000 They didn't trust her.

01:23:58.000 I think if you looked at what it is in terms of good versus evil, it's known evil versus unknown result.

01:24:08.000 I think it's known evil or known corruption versus a sideshow.

01:24:13.000 Like sort of a guy who's going to be really entertaining for the next four years but probably won't bring the republic down.

01:24:18.000 But what if he decides to really look out for the American people?

01:24:21.000 What if he decides to make America great again? 0.99

01:24:23.000 What if he decides to bring back engineering and bring back production of goods and fucking... 0.97

01:24:29.000 What if he decides that? 0.98

01:24:31.000 What if he really decides that?

01:24:32.000 Then is it better?

01:24:33.000 Let's take a chance.

01:24:34.000 And I think a lot of people did that.

01:24:36.000 I agree.

01:24:36.000 And then I also think we're realizing, and we should, this is something we need to all come to grips with.

01:24:42.000 It is irrational, illogical, nonsensical, and antiquated to have one person have that much power in the United States of America.

01:24:53.000 It is nonsense.

01:24:54.000 It's not something we need.

01:24:57.000 It's a value system and a ruler leadership system that's designed for small groups of people, and it works very well. 0.97

01:25:04.000 It works very well for groups of 150 people with leaves over their dicks.

01:25:08.000 But as soon as you get to 320 million people, All trapped together on a landmass. 0.99

01:25:15.000 You cannot have one dipshit that's good at insulting people and standing in front of a camera. 0.97

01:25:20.000 I don't care if it's him or the next guy. 0.99

01:25:22.000 It's not an assault on Donald Trump.

01:25:24.000 It's like one person who figures out a way to... 0.99

01:25:28.000 Fucking manipulate and dance and do his best. 1.00

01:25:31.000 America's Got Talent fucking prepresentation. 1.00

01:25:35.000 Representation? 0.99

01:25:36.000 Representation.

01:25:36.000 One of those things.

01:25:37.000 To get to the point where people go, ah, the other lady's boring and she keeps fainting. 1.00

01:25:42.000 Boom! 0.99

01:25:42.000 And they hit the switch for Trump. 0.99

01:25:44.000 I mean, you've got to get past that.

01:25:45.000 I don't think the president has that.

01:25:46.000 They have plenty of power.

01:25:47.000 One of the things the president always talks about, and governors talk about, is how little power they have.

01:25:51.000 You say that, but there's real problems right now with the Environmental Protection Agency being defunded.

01:25:57.000 There's real problems right now with them deciding to start drilling in places in Alaska that people have been fighting for them drilling for decades because they're worried that in extracting minerals from the ground they're going to ruin these salmon waterways.

01:26:09.000 Well, he can appoint judges and he can appoint judges.

01:26:12.000 He can do a lot of things.

01:26:13.000 And obviously, that causes a big stir in political discourse and people being active.

01:26:19.000 And you're seeing like some trans woman got elected somewhere and gay people are getting elected.

01:26:25.000 And so you're seeing a rebound, which is how it's supposed to work.

01:26:29.000 That's right.

01:26:29.000 He's created a lot of civic unrest and a lot of civic organization on the other side.

01:26:34.000 On the other side.

01:26:34.000 Yeah, David Frum was talking about that.

01:26:36.000 He is.

01:26:37.000 Yeah, he just sent me his book.

01:26:38.000 We just have to be really careful, like really careful of getting tribal with this.

01:26:44.000 Again, I hate to reiterate this, but I think that in looking at the group of humans as a whole, there's a real problem that on the left and on the right people have with getting attached to their particular ideology they've adopted and fighting against anything that's any different and not coming to some sort of a common understanding of what we really need to get by on this planet.

01:27:05.000 Well, it's called a couple of things.

01:27:07.000 One is there are different psychological profiles.

01:27:10.000 And I've heard Jordan Peterson talk about sort of like the left is rooted in compassion, the right is rooted in respect for the strong.

01:27:15.000 And then what happens is the way things move forward is you have an idea, I have an idea, and remember something.

01:27:23.000 It's very important.

01:27:24.000 Human beings usually are weighing two values in their head at one time.

01:27:29.000 Let me give you an example.

01:27:30.000 I don't believe in illegal immigration, but I have a lot of compassion for people who are dying to get over the border.

01:27:36.000 If I was a border control agent, I would probably be the guy who's like, come on in, because I'm emotional.

01:27:41.000 It doesn't mean that's right.

01:27:43.000 What it means is that sometimes you weigh two values in your head, right?

01:27:46.000 Mercy and compassion versus justice and fair play.

01:27:52.000 Let me propose something to you.

01:27:54.000 Now, this is going to sound crazy for a lot of people. 1.00

01:27:56.000 You're a fucking commie. 0.99

01:27:59.000 At one point in time, I believe, in the future, we will not have boundaries in terms of places you're allowed to travel and not to travel. 1.00

01:28:07.000 Right.

01:28:07.000 At one point in time, people will truly be thought of as equal.

01:28:10.000 And when that point in time happens, you allow people to freely travel all over the world.

01:28:15.000 Why can't we do that now?

01:28:16.000 First of all, you won't even have to travel.

01:28:18.000 I think what's going to happen is when you can interface with another brain, And that's possible.

01:28:22.000 You're going to have an experience about exactly what it's like to be a woman.

01:28:27.000 Exactly what it's like, by the way, to be a woman.

01:28:29.000 I'm going to take it. 1.00

01:28:30.000 I want to be a woman so I can see what it's like to have sex with LeBron James. 0.99

01:28:33.000 But here's the thing. 0.99

01:28:34.000 Would you complain or would you put your hands on her hips? 1.00

01:28:39.000 I'm going to be able to experience it, so then if I can interface with another brain, now we got a real problem, because what the fuck does that mean about my identity? 0.97

01:28:49.000 What if you can't pick which brain you interface with? 1.00

01:28:53.000 You're going to be a girl who has sex with LeBron James, but you're a 100-pound Irish girl. 1.00

01:28:58.000 Like, shit. 1.00

01:28:59.000 You're going to get your uterus blown out. 1.00

01:29:01.000 You want a 178 pound chick from Ecuador that can take it. 1.00

01:29:07.000 Who can really take it?

01:29:08.000 I don't think any of that's going to happen.

01:29:09.000 I think what's going to happen is you're going to have guys like LeBron James who have these fantastic lives, who have sex and dunk basketballs, and they're going to sell their experience.

01:29:18.000 You want to interface with my brain?

01:29:19.000 It's going to cost you this much money.

01:29:20.000 And that is going to be the new drug.

01:29:23.000 The new drug is going to be, I want to see what it's like to be either Whoever it is, LeBron James.

01:29:30.000 And then Dennis Rodman will rise again.

01:29:32.000 Correct. 0.99

01:29:32.000 Dennis Rodman will rise from the flames like a fucking phoenix. 0.99

01:29:36.000 He'll be the number one superstar again in the world. 1.00

01:29:38.000 And when you watch porn, you're going to be able to tap into the guy's brain. 0.99

01:29:42.000 And you're going to be able to have sex with anybody you want. 1.00

01:29:43.000 And you're going to be thinking about Dick just like he is. 0.99

01:29:46.000 Uh-huh.

01:29:47.000 Imagine that. 0.98

01:29:48.000 Imagine if you get your favorite porn star. 0.99

01:29:49.000 Why do you keep bringing it over to Dick? 0.99

01:29:50.000 You're like, hey, he's thinking about Dick.

01:29:52.000 This is confusing. 0.97

01:29:53.000 Why am I coming when I'm thinking about guy butts? 0.97

01:29:56.000 Ugh! 1.00

01:29:58.000 Shit! 1.00

01:29:59.000 Damn it! 1.00

01:29:59.000 People get mad at you. 1.00

01:30:00.000 Yo, I got honeydicked by that Brian Callen video. 1.00

01:30:03.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:30:03.000 Homeboy's got a giant dick, but he's thinking about dudes' butts all the time. 1.00

01:30:07.000 No way. 1.00

01:30:08.000 But he fucks all the hottest girls. 1.00

01:30:09.000 Doesn't matter, man. 1.00

01:30:10.000 While he's fucking all the hottest girls, he's thinking about dudes' butts. 1.00

01:30:13.000 Hold on, Del, bro. 1.00

01:30:14.000 Did you come or not?

01:30:16.000 Came immediately.

01:30:17.000 Immediately.

01:30:18.000 I came like a terrorist.

01:30:19.000 But he was wearing a wig in my mind. 1.00

01:30:22.000 I came like a dude strapped with dynamite getting his dick sucked for the last time. 1.00

01:30:26.000 Ooh! 1.00

01:30:30.000 And then I took the headphones off, like, fuck you, Brian Cowan! 1.00

01:30:34.000 Goddammit! 1.00

01:30:35.000 He's fucking the hottest girls, but he's thinking about dudes' butts! 1.00

01:30:38.000 Your friends would be like, man, I don't even know if he's telling the truth. 1.00

01:30:43.000 I've been holding out for the Brian Cowan virtual reality sex video, but now... 0.99

01:30:47.000 God, he's so medium and white. 1.00

01:30:48.000 I don't want to think about dudes' butts. 0.99

01:30:50.000 This is great. 0.98

01:30:51.000 I know.

01:30:52.000 Oh, I told you I had a dream I was gay, right, a couple times?

01:30:54.000 I was talking about that on a podcast. 1.00

01:30:56.000 Before or after you had gay sex? 0.99

01:30:57.000 This was during, so I don't know if that makes sense. 1.00

01:31:01.000 Dream.

01:31:02.000 I was gay. 0.73

01:31:03.000 Dream of gay things. 1.00

01:31:04.000 And in my dream I was like, I can't believe I'm gay.

01:31:06.000 This is so not what I'm into. 0.99

01:31:09.000 And then I knew I was going to have to have sex with my boyfriend, who may or may not have been Brendan Schaub. 0.95

01:31:13.000 I can't remember. 0.98

01:31:14.000 It was a big guy.

01:31:15.000 That's a gate you can't really bounce back and forth from.

01:31:19.000 I don't know, man.

01:31:19.000 I've actually never really had a gay impulse.

01:31:22.000 We need to talk to Thaddeus Russell because he'll tell you you're a liar and that all men have some sort of gay fantasy somewhere deep in their head. 0.91

01:31:31.000 Me and Thaddeus had a conversation about truth, like plural truths versus one fixed truth. 0.98

01:31:37.000 That's a huge debate.

01:31:39.000 You know what I mean by that?

01:31:40.000 Yeah.

01:31:41.000 So, like, Nietzsche would be the guy to talk about plural truth.

01:31:44.000 So if you look at a painting, that painting is, there are different truths, right?

01:31:48.000 One is that painting's beautiful, and that's all I know.

01:31:50.000 It's beautiful.

01:31:50.000 It affects me emotionally.

01:31:51.000 That's the truth.

01:31:52.000 Right.

01:31:53.000 Then a chemist would look at that painting and say, well, you're not really seeing yellow.

01:31:55.000 What you're seeing is, you know, your eyes are looking at light, and they reflect.

01:32:00.000 There's a chemical in there, and you break down a chemical.

01:32:02.000 So there's a different layer to truth, you're saying?

01:32:03.000 Different kinds of truth.

01:32:04.000 True love.

01:32:06.000 Right.

01:32:06.000 So true love, that's still a really interesting mystery to me because I wonder if that's a relationship with yourself.

01:32:12.000 So sometimes you're obsessed with somebody, right?

01:32:15.000 You love them?

01:32:15.000 Yeah.

01:32:16.000 You might be obsessed with the idea of being the one that can break them, that can be the one that tames them, the one that owns them, the one that gets them to forget about all other dick and just yours. 0.99

01:32:27.000 That's... 0.94

01:32:29.000 What a lot of relationships are predicated on.

01:32:31.000 This notion of territoriality.

01:32:34.000 Right, but is that true love?

01:32:35.000 Is that what we're talking about?

01:32:36.000 Does it matter?

01:32:37.000 But what really matter is the moments where you are together, where you truly care about each other, where the intensity is almost overwhelming, and the love and the happiness to be with each other is almost overwhelming.

01:32:48.000 Yes.

01:32:49.000 That is really true love.

01:32:51.000 Is that a state though?

01:32:53.000 So is that a state and how long does it last?

01:32:55.000 That's a good question.

01:32:56.000 And whether or not you're committed to that person as a love, not just a love interest, but like as an inhabitant in your realm of truly loved ones.

01:33:09.000 What is your village of truly loved ones?

01:33:12.000 I have a cynical answer for you on that.

01:33:13.000 So I know what the Greeks said.

01:33:15.000 So why do you love your children?

01:33:17.000 Why?

01:33:17.000 What is it about your children that you love?

01:33:19.000 And this is what Socrates said.

01:33:20.000 This is kind of an interesting way of looking at it.

01:33:22.000 So he said, love, difficult to define.

01:33:24.000 You have to define it as love of something.

01:33:27.000 Right.

01:33:27.000 And what is the one thing man loves more than anything else?

01:33:31.000 Think about it. 1.00

01:33:32.000 Pussy. 1.00

01:33:32.000 Not close? 1.00

01:33:35.000 Pussy is maybe a manifestation of what you're trying to get from it. 1.00

01:33:39.000 What is it? 1.00

01:33:40.000 Come on.

01:33:40.000 Attention.

01:33:41.000 Why would you breed? 0.97

01:33:42.000 Uh, you wanna get rid of jizz? 0.99

01:33:45.000 Goddammit! 0.98

01:33:46.000 Keep going!

01:33:46.000 You gotta think deeper, bro!

01:33:48.000 I need you to think the next level!

01:33:50.000 Why?

01:33:50.000 What is it that man loves more than anything else?

01:33:52.000 What does he want more than anything else?

01:33:54.000 I don't know.

01:33:55.000 What does he want?

01:33:55.000 You tell me.

01:33:56.000 Immortality.

01:33:57.000 You wanna live forever? 1.00

01:33:58.000 Pussy comes first. 1.00

01:33:58.000 Exactly! 1.00

01:33:59.000 Well, pussy's the gateway! 1.00

01:33:59.000 Do you wanna live forever with no pussy? 1.00

01:34:00.000 Pussy's the gateway, because you create kids! 1.00

01:34:03.000 And your kids are your genetic expression. 1.00

01:34:06.000 Ask anybody worth a fuck, do you want to live forever with no pussy, forever, or live for a hundred years and just live like Jay-Z on a yacht in gold underwear with two champagne bottles? 1.00

01:34:19.000 I want to live dangerously! 1.00

01:34:20.000 Yes!

01:34:21.000 You want to live dangerously, not safely? 1.00

01:34:24.000 Fuck a thousand years, I'll have a hundred years of excitement. 1.00

01:34:26.000 So, what you're saying about immortality is horseshit. 1.00

01:34:29.000 Because immortality without pussy is nonsense. 1.00

01:34:32.000 Immortality is represented in different things. 1.00

01:34:34.000 Watch.

01:34:34.000 Your work, your legacy.

01:34:36.000 Listen to me, sweetie. 1.00

01:34:37.000 If someone is in my circle of friends and somebody offers you immortality with no pussy or 100 years and pussy, if you don't take choice number two, lose my number. 1.00

01:34:48.000 But hold on. 0.99

01:34:49.000 Hold on, sir.

01:34:50.000 Stop texting me.

01:34:50.000 I can't work with you anymore.

01:34:52.000 Sir, I would argue that your love of pussy might be genetically Like, you've evolved to... 1.00

01:34:58.000 Your love of pussy is your love of pussy because you ultimately want to spread and further your DNA. Well, first of all, I think we're being very disrespectful, you particularly, of calling you pussy. 1.00

01:35:09.000 I meant vagina. 1.00

01:35:10.000 I'm talking about sexual relations. 0.99

01:35:12.000 Sorry, sir. 0.97

01:35:12.000 What about the gay folk? 0.97

01:35:13.000 Okay. 0.98

01:35:14.000 The gay folk would want to be... 1.00

01:35:15.000 What? 1.00

01:35:15.000 No, just sex. 1.00

01:35:16.000 It's true, actually. 0.93

01:35:16.000 Instead of sex. 0.93

01:35:17.000 Yeah, instead of calling a pussy. 1.00

01:35:18.000 Because the gay folk would be like, hey man, I'm with you, but you're excluding me. 1.00

01:35:21.000 I'm one-tenth of the population, allegedly.

01:35:23.000 Not one-tenth.

01:35:24.000 38% quoted Thaddeus Russell.

01:35:25.000 No, Thaddeus!

01:35:27.000 That's what he said.

01:35:28.000 We might be misquoting him. 0.84

01:35:29.000 87% of dudes get hard when they see dudes getting sucked by dudes. 0.61

01:35:32.000 That's not true.

01:35:33.000 That's not true.

01:35:34.000 He didn't say that.

01:35:35.000 I like Thaddeus.

01:35:36.000 Yeah, me too. 1.00

01:35:36.000 But I think that the idea of not being in a sexually pleasurable relationship with someone for all of eternity, that sounds stupid. 1.00

01:35:46.000 First of all... 1.00

01:35:47.000 That just can't be as good.

01:35:48.000 Did you see that study they did with men and women in long-term relationships?

01:35:51.000 You know what the secret was?

01:35:52.000 The long-term...

01:35:53.000 Ecstasy? 1.00

01:35:53.000 They fucked! 1.00

01:35:54.000 They had a deep sexual connection. 1.00

01:35:56.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

01:35:58.000 Talk to me. 1.00

01:35:58.000 I'm just friends with you. 1.00

01:36:00.000 We have a deep friendship. 1.00

01:36:01.000 You should want to fuck the person. 1.00

01:36:04.000 I've heard that successful marriages are like that. 1.00

01:36:06.000 Yeah.

01:36:07.000 Why are you making those noises? 1.00

01:36:08.000 That's what you do when you fuck, right? 1.00

01:36:09.000 You snap your fingers, you make mean noises. 1.00

01:36:12.000 No, I don't do that.

01:36:14.000 I go like this.

01:36:15.000 And I do a lot of slicking back hair I don't even have.

01:36:24.000 That's what I do.

01:36:25.000 That's what she does. 1.00

01:36:26.000 In all honesty, if you had a choice between living like a hermit, like all bullshit aside, no jokes, living like a hermit, living like someone who occasionally interacts with people but doesn't have any real deep connection with them, or living like you're in like a wonderful community of people that you care about and drinking and carrying on and hugging each other and Laughing and joking around and waking up hungover and getting breakfast together. 0.93

01:36:52.000 You live for a hundred years. 0.97

01:36:53.000 You want me to get intellectual?

01:36:54.000 You know what you're talking about right now?

01:36:55.000 You know the distinction you're drawing, my friend?

01:36:59.000 Can I get philosophical on you?

01:37:00.000 The distinction between Socrates and Nietzsche.

01:37:03.000 Socrates He said, a man should have quiet contempt for his body and ultimately learn to be a contemplative human being. 0.53

01:37:10.000 Just be a brain.

01:37:11.000 And your body's nothing. 0.83

01:37:12.000 And as he was dying, he drank the hemlock.

01:37:13.000 He said, why are you guys crying? 0.98

01:37:14.000 I'm living in this shitty shell and it's all gross and I'm going on to a better... 0.97

01:37:19.000 I'm going to be in the sky with all the great philosophers. 0.93

01:37:21.000 And Nietzsche goes, yeah, Socrates, you said that because you're... 0.99

01:37:24.000 Ugly. 0.99

01:37:25.000 You never got laid. 0.99

01:37:27.000 So, of course, you want to negate and you turned reason into a tyrant.

01:37:31.000 And he said, all those seven deadly sins that the Christians talk about, like pride, there's another word for pride. 0.96

01:37:37.000 It's called self-esteem.

01:37:38.000 Self-esteem is a good thing.

01:37:40.000 And lust, yeah. 0.90

01:37:42.000 Sex is a lot of fun, even though he never had sex. 0.92

01:37:45.000 But literally, he basically never got laid. 0.76

01:37:47.000 What? 0.98

01:37:47.000 Yeah, they think he either got syphilis and that's why he died and went crazy or he was gay. 0.98

01:37:52.000 Either way, he never got laid. 0.99

01:37:53.000 He had a giant mustache.

01:37:54.000 Bring up Nietzsche and take a look at his mustache.

01:37:55.000 He used to talk about masks. 0.70

01:37:56.000 He had a crazy mustache. 0.99

01:37:58.000 I would love it if Nietzsche was gay. 1.00

01:38:00.000 Brilliant motherfucker, but he talked about make your life a circus and a work of art. 1.00

01:38:04.000 Enjoy everything and live dangerously. 1.00

01:38:07.000 Don't be fucking in a mountain. 0.99

01:38:09.000 When you're in a mountain meditating, it's awesome, but guess what? 1.00

01:38:11.000 You're not really engaged in the world. 0.99

01:38:13.000 I wish he was gay. 1.00

01:38:14.000 Look at that mustache. 1.00

01:38:15.000 Look at that fucking mustache. 1.00

01:38:17.000 There's so many dudes that are like real aggro, sort of Wall Street type guys that are pro-Nichi. 1.00

01:38:23.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:38:24.000 It would be awesome if Nietzsche was just like, the whole time he was talking, yeah, you're ugly. 1.00

01:38:27.000 I'm thinking about good-looking guy's cocks. 0.99

01:38:30.000 Hopefully.

01:38:31.000 He's making that noise.

01:38:33.000 This is the noise I want you to think about him making behind the spectacles with that beautiful mustache with that suit on.

01:38:38.000 He's doing this.

01:38:39.000 As soon as they stop the camera... 1.00

01:38:41.000 Thinking about dicks. 0.99

01:38:43.000 You're being stereotypical. 1.00

01:38:45.000 He's not licking his lips.

01:38:46.000 Yeah, he's slurping.

01:38:47.000 You don't know.

01:38:48.000 Look at him.

01:38:48.000 Look at that face.

01:38:49.000 That would be a dick slurping type face. 1.00

01:38:51.000 Things whistle through his mustache when he says fuck. 1.00

01:38:54.000 Maybe that's why he has that mustache in the first place. 1.00

01:38:56.000 So dudes can just really grab it and get all four fingers entangled in his lips.

01:38:59.000 Hey man, stop talking about Nietzsche like this, bro.

01:39:01.000 Manipulate his lips.

01:39:02.000 I'm having an intellectual discussion.

01:39:04.000 Those are lip handles.

01:39:05.000 He could grab a hold of them and wrap them.

01:39:08.000 Lift them in the fingers and then use it to just like push down on the shaft.

01:39:14.000 Ladies and gentlemen, I want to apologize.

01:39:16.000 I want to apologize to all you Nietzsche fans.

01:39:19.000 Why else would you grow mustache on your face? 0.99

01:39:21.000 Who the fuck is going to use that? 1.00

01:39:22.000 He was basically sick his whole life. 1.00

01:39:24.000 He was sick his whole life. 1.00

01:39:25.000 You didn't suck that many dicks, man. 1.00

01:39:26.000 You suck a lot of dicks. 1.00

01:39:28.000 You lose weight. 1.00

01:39:28.000 I don't know if that's true, sir. 1.00

01:39:30.000 You cough a lot.

01:39:31.000 Sir, I don't know if that's true. 0.99

01:39:32.000 He's got a dick handle on his upper lip, man. 0.98

01:39:33.000 I know a lot of girls who've done that. 1.00

01:39:34.000 There's no other reason to have that. 0.99

01:39:35.000 Why else would you grow a dick handle on your upper lip? 0.99

01:39:37.000 Because he's hiding behind his mustache. 1.00

01:39:39.000 He's sensitive.

01:39:40.000 What about a full beard? 1.00

01:39:41.000 Like a fucking animal. 1.00

01:39:42.000 It's interesting. 1.00

01:39:43.000 Like some dude in Special Forces.

01:39:45.000 It's got a neck handkerchief on.

01:39:47.000 Those neckerchiefs.

01:39:49.000 That was part of his...

01:39:50.000 That was part of his...

01:39:53.000 Those special forces scarves?

01:39:54.000 His mask!

01:39:55.000 Why do so many of those real badass spec ops guys have those crazy things around their neck?

01:40:03.000 Oh, you mean ropes?

01:40:06.000 No, those bandana type things.

01:40:09.000 Do you want to know?

01:40:09.000 They're like scarves.

01:40:10.000 I have the answer.

01:40:11.000 Why?

01:40:12.000 Okay, ready?

01:40:12.000 Go ahead.

01:40:13.000 I know this from my buddy Rudy Reyes, who is a recon guy.

01:40:17.000 Saw a lot of action.

01:40:18.000 They did Generation Kill. 0.79

01:40:19.000 What do you call those things?

01:40:20.000 Why do you wear a scarf?

01:40:22.000 Here's why.

01:40:23.000 Ready, dude?

01:40:24.000 Ready for this?

01:40:24.000 Hey, all you operators out there, please forgive me.

01:40:27.000 I've never done any, but just indulge me.

01:40:29.000 And all due respect.

01:40:31.000 If I'm here and I'm shooting, and you're next to me, where are my shells going? 0.98

01:40:37.000 They're fucking hot. 0.99

01:40:38.000 They're spitting out. 1.00

01:40:40.000 And when that shell lands in your neck and gets under your shirt, it burns like a motherfucker. 0.99

01:40:46.000 No, so you cover your neck. 1.00

01:40:47.000 When you're in a firefight, motherfucker, you cover your neck! 1.00

01:40:50.000 So you wear that! 1.00

01:40:52.000 You open that motherfucker up, Dick Marchenko style! 0.99

01:40:55.000 Now you're talking. 1.00

01:40:56.000 Now you got burn marks all over your body?

01:40:58.000 All over. 1.00

01:40:59.000 I'm like little fucking rain teardrops rolling down your chest. 1.00

01:41:04.000 Stop! 1.00

01:41:07.000 How about me in Afghanistan?

01:41:08.000 When I went to do stand-up in Afghanistan, I wore one of those, and the Special Forces guy, we were in the truck, he goes, take that off.

01:41:17.000 I go, why? 1.00

01:41:18.000 He goes, if we get hit with an IED, your face is going to catch fire, motherfucker. 1.00

01:41:21.000 I was like, oh shit! 1.00

01:41:23.000 Randy Couture used to wear one of those. 1.00

01:41:26.000 Randy Couture can wear whatever he wants. 0.99

01:41:28.000 Yeah, that's the sign of what a bad motherfucker Randy Couture is. 0.99

01:41:30.000 He thinks he's going to walk around with a scarf on him. 0.99

01:41:32.000 He was a ranger too, wasn't he?

01:41:33.000 Was he in the military?

01:41:34.000 He was definitely in the army.

01:41:35.000 Yeah.

01:41:35.000 He learned to box in the army.

01:41:36.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:41:38.000 Fucking stud. 1.00

01:41:38.000 He wears those things all over the place. 1.00

01:41:40.000 He should. 0.99

01:41:40.000 Nobody says shit about it. 0.99

01:41:42.000 It's fashion. 1.00

01:41:43.000 He could wear a dick on his head and still. 0.99

01:41:45.000 He signs a new five scarf deal. 1.00

01:41:48.000 Wow.

01:41:49.000 What year is this?

01:41:50.000 A five scarf deal sounds like a joke.

01:41:52.000 It might be.

01:41:52.000 Click on it.

01:41:53.000 It might be real.

01:41:53.000 He really is a striking guy.

01:41:55.000 He's a handsome man.

01:41:57.000 I guarantee this ain't a joke.

01:41:59.000 What year is this?

01:42:00.000 What year is this article?

01:42:01.000 It's from January of this year.

01:42:02.000 Oh, really?

01:42:03.000 Yeah.

01:42:03.000 He's a handsome dude.

01:42:03.000 It's not that old.

01:42:04.000 Less than a year.

01:42:05.000 Do you remember you and I when we were like 28 years old?

01:42:07.000 Do you remember you and I when we first saw him?

01:42:09.000 Joe and I first saw him.

01:42:11.000 We were at the UFC and he was standing there and we were like, we snuck up and we were looking at him and he had a big ball on his knee.

01:42:17.000 He was like, he has a weird knee.

01:42:18.000 And we were like, his legs are skinny compared to his body.

01:42:21.000 And we were like assessing.

01:42:22.000 We were taking him down.

01:42:23.000 We were looking at his whole body but we were like two teenage girls looking at a rock star.

01:42:28.000 I never forgot that.

01:42:29.000 Earliest days, dude.

01:42:31.000 You and I went to one of the earliest ever UFCs when I was like, I don't I can't work for these people anymore.

01:42:35.000 I was like, what am I doing?

01:42:37.000 I remember you calling me saying you were gonna announce at UFC. I remember you saying, dude, get this.

01:42:44.000 I was like, what? 0.99

01:42:44.000 The fucking people that worked for news radio, like the production people, were like, what? 0.99

01:42:50.000 And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go to Alabama to do this UFC thing and some cage fighting. 1.00

01:42:54.000 They looked at me like I was going to watch animal porn. 0.94

01:42:58.000 That's right. 1.00

01:42:58.000 I was gonna watch some chicks suck some donkey dicks and a bunch of dudes get fucked by mules. 1.00

01:43:03.000 I know. 1.00

01:43:04.000 They were like, oh my god, you're ruining your life.

01:43:06.000 And I was like, I'm not.

01:43:07.000 They're gonna fight.

01:43:08.000 You and I were obsessed.

01:43:09.000 I remember that.

01:43:10.000 Yeah, I'm like, they have to figure out who's the best.

01:43:12.000 They have to fight.

01:43:13.000 I remember meeting or looking at Bustamante, and you said, what's his first name?

01:43:18.000 Murillo.

01:43:18.000 Murillo Bustamante, and he's 6'4", and he was at a food, there was like a food laid out, and you were like, that guy's one of the best jujitsu guys in the world, and I looked at him, he had that jaw, and I was just like, God.

01:43:30.000 Remember Goaz out in Goaz saying that? 0.99

01:43:32.000 I was like, fucking studs. 0.99

01:43:34.000 Vitor, that's me. 1.00

01:43:36.000 1997 in Dothan, Alabama.

01:43:37.000 Oh my lord.

01:43:38.000 Look at me.

01:43:39.000 What a beautiful young man he was.

01:43:41.000 How sweet.

01:43:41.000 I had beautiful skin.

01:43:42.000 Remember we used to train at Carlson Gracie's and he was there?

01:43:44.000 I had a semi-full head of hair.

01:43:44.000 You sure did, buddy.

01:43:45.000 I was starting to go, though.

01:43:46.000 You sure did.

01:43:47.000 I was doing my best to hang on.

01:43:49.000 Look at how sharp your nose was.

01:43:51.000 Look at how different your nose is.

01:43:52.000 My whole face got fatter.

01:43:54.000 Pull me up.

01:43:55.000 I was the same way.

01:43:55.000 I did Artie Lang's radio show.

01:43:58.000 You get rounded off as you get old. 1.00

01:43:59.000 Dude, I had a sharp nose, a skinny fucking neck. 1.00

01:44:03.000 Yeah, it's weird. 1.00

01:44:04.000 Like I'm a thick guy now.

01:44:05.000 Well, when we first met, we were both skinny.

01:44:08.000 We were both like 27 maybe?

01:44:12.000 I had breakfast with Brandon Schaub this morning, and I came fresh, fresh from my Olympic lifting class.

01:44:18.000 You know I Olympic lift now, right?

01:44:19.000 And my testosterone was spiking.

01:44:21.000 There you are.

01:44:21.000 Look at that.

01:44:22.000 Look at that!

01:44:23.000 You cutie.

01:44:25.000 See if you can get me and Brian Callan together when Brian was a pool boy.

01:44:29.000 Dude, you know what's really sad about that picture?

01:44:31.000 I thought I was kind of tough back then.

01:44:34.000 You're always a sweet guy.

01:44:35.000 No, but I mean, in my mind, I was like, I'm a black belt.

01:44:38.000 I wrestled in high school.

01:44:39.000 What a sad story.

01:44:40.000 I remember when we first met, man.

01:44:42.000 We immediately had so much in common.

01:44:43.000 We started talking about martial arts.

01:44:45.000 We're like, what?

01:44:45.000 You did Taekwondo?

01:44:46.000 What?

01:44:47.000 You're a comedian?

01:44:48.000 What?

01:44:49.000 Yep.

01:44:50.000 What happened to that chick? 1.00

01:44:51.000 What was her name?

01:44:52.000 Well, when you said you box and you do jujitsu and you have to because you'd be in jail otherwise, I went, oh, that guy speaks my language. 0.95

01:44:58.000 We're both retards. 0.94

01:45:00.000 Both have pit bulls. 0.94

01:45:01.000 There you go.

01:45:01.000 There's you.

01:45:02.000 There's Brian.

01:45:02.000 Look at you.

01:45:02.000 What's your fucking bikini on?

01:45:04.000 Oh, look at the dancing. 1.00

01:45:05.000 Look at you.

01:45:06.000 Look at that.

01:45:07.000 Hilarious.

01:45:08.000 I probably was doing push-ups, too.

01:45:09.000 Where's her?

01:45:11.000 She was writing...

01:45:12.000 What's her name again?

01:45:13.000 Mary...

01:45:13.000 Oh my god, I can't...

01:45:15.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

01:45:16.000 I cannot believe I'm forgetting her name. 1.00

01:45:17.000 She's the most talented woman of all time. 0.77

01:45:19.000 Fucking funny, I'll tell you that. 0.97

01:45:21.000 Whatever her name is. 0.98

01:45:21.000 She's incredible. 0.98

01:45:22.000 The fuck's her name, man? 1.00

01:45:23.000 I really like her. 1.00

01:45:24.000 I cannot believe I'm forgetting Mary's name.

01:45:25.000 Brian will find her.

01:45:26.000 I'm so sorry.

01:45:26.000 Jamie will find it.

01:45:27.000 There's me.

01:45:28.000 Look at you!

01:45:30.000 Look at you!

01:45:31.000 How weird is that, dude?

01:45:33.000 Someone captured time.

01:45:34.000 I know!

01:45:35.000 This actually really happened with us.

01:45:37.000 I know!

01:45:38.000 We were actually there.

01:45:38.000 Look at us.

01:45:39.000 In 94. Dixie West.

01:45:42.000 Find out what her name is, man.

01:45:43.000 I feel disrespectful.

01:45:44.000 Mary.

01:45:45.000 Mary, I'm so sorry.

01:45:47.000 We're going to find it.

01:45:48.000 I'm 50 and I'm senile.

01:45:50.000 Oh my God.

01:45:51.000 He smoked weed before this show. 1.00

01:45:55.000 That's what it is, you bastard. 1.00

01:45:57.000 Now I'm embarrassing myself. 1.00

01:45:58.000 We're doing a wonderful job of entertaining people.

01:46:00.000 She's incredible.

01:46:01.000 I was always in awe of her talent.

01:46:04.000 She's impossibly funny.

01:46:06.000 Mary Masterson.

01:46:08.000 No, but that's patriarchy.

01:46:10.000 Son.

01:46:11.000 Masterwoman. 0.71

01:46:11.000 We have to smash the patriarchy. 0.71

01:46:13.000 Is there a last name?

01:46:15.000 Masterwoman? 0.82

01:46:16.000 How come you can have Masterson?

01:46:18.000 Can you even have Masterman?

01:46:20.000 Yeah, Masterman.

01:46:21.000 Yeah?

01:46:22.000 Mary Shearer. 0.79

01:46:23.000 Oh, goddammit! 0.92

01:46:24.000 Mary Shearer. 0.96

01:46:24.000 I'm so embarrassed! 0.96

01:46:25.000 Shout out to Mary. 1.00

01:46:26.000 She was very funny.

01:46:27.000 She's incredible.

01:46:28.000 That was a great character she had, too.

01:46:30.000 She was one of those people that was so talented. 0.99

01:46:32.000 She would write shit, and she would figure out what was wrong with the sketch, and I would be so in awe. 1.00

01:46:37.000 But then, she was a groundling forever. 1.00

01:46:39.000 I didn't know.

01:46:40.000 I was like, oh, you've been doing this forever.

01:46:42.000 I had never done sketch.

01:46:44.000 It's a very specific type of comedy.

01:46:46.000 Yes.

01:46:46.000 You know, it's very different.

01:46:47.000 Doing sketches is a very different animal than doing stand-up.

01:46:51.000 She was ridiculously funny. 0.57

01:46:54.000 She still is, I'm sure.

01:46:56.000 It's a weird form of comedy.

01:46:58.000 You know, those sketch little short things, you're writing them every week.

01:47:01.000 That's the craziest thing about Saturday Night Live.

01:47:03.000 It takes so much work, dude.

01:47:04.000 Yeah, like the Chappelle show and a lot of these other shows, they had time to develop these sketches and they weren't doing them all in front of a live audience like Saturday Night Live does.

01:47:13.000 I have friends who have been on Saturday Night Live, and that is a grueling schedule.

01:47:16.000 They're up all night, man, coming up with ideas.

01:47:18.000 It seems like, well, at least coming from Phil Hartman's explanation of it, he said it was very competitive.

01:47:24.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:24.000 To the point where people got real hostile with each other.

01:47:26.000 It was never a relaxed, fun environment.

01:47:30.000 In fact, when he first came from Saturday Night Live and came over to news radio, he was a little standoffish at first.

01:47:38.000 Yeah.

01:47:38.000 And then eventually he realized, oh, these people aren't competing with me.

01:47:42.000 We're not competing.

01:47:43.000 It took a while, though.

01:47:44.000 Really?

01:47:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:47:45.000 There was an environment of SNL that was super hyper-competitive.

01:47:49.000 Lorne Michaels wants it to be that way.

01:47:51.000 You have to compete to get your sketch on, and if you don't, you go away.

01:47:55.000 And so it's a very competitive atmosphere.

01:47:57.000 You could see it, and Phil just relaxed.

01:48:00.000 After a while, he relaxed.

01:48:01.000 I'm like, no, no, no, we're not competing.

01:48:04.000 You're Phil Hartman. 0.99

01:48:05.000 I'm some fucking dude that nobody even knows. 0.99

01:48:07.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:48:07.000 Okay, and we're both on a show together. 0.99

01:48:08.000 Hey, what's up?

01:48:09.000 Yeah.

01:48:09.000 And he's like, oh, okay, okay, okay.

01:48:11.000 And then I got deeper and deeper to know him.

01:48:14.000 This was back in my non-weed smoking days.

01:48:16.000 Unfortunately, I wish I smoked weed, because he used to love to smoke weed.

01:48:20.000 Really?

01:48:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:48:21.000 He would smoke weed after shows and wind down. 0.99

01:48:23.000 He'd play music and go to strip clubs and shit. 0.99

01:48:26.000 He was impossibly funny. 0.99

01:48:27.000 He was a really interesting guy.

01:48:29.000 Not like any guy I've ever met.

01:48:31.000 Legitimately not like any guy I've ever met.

01:48:33.000 He had an incredibly unique way of viewing opportunities and things.

01:48:38.000 One of the things that happened is he didn't really make it until he was quite old.

01:48:42.000 He was a grounding, right?

01:48:43.000 Or was he Second City?

01:48:44.000 I think he was a grounding.

01:48:44.000 I think he was Second City.

01:48:46.000 He might have been grounding, too.

01:48:48.000 I think you might be right.

01:48:49.000 But I know he was also an artist.

01:48:51.000 And he did Pee-wee's Playhouse.

01:48:53.000 He did something with Pee-wee's play, you know, Pee-wee Hearn.

01:48:56.000 An artist like a painter?

01:48:57.000 Yeah, no, he used to make album covers and stuff.

01:48:59.000 Yeah, he was like a legit graphic artist.

01:49:01.000 Wow.

01:49:02.000 Yeah, he was a fascinating guy.

01:49:04.000 Like when we first did NewsRadio together, he just decided he wanted to get his pilot's license.

01:49:08.000 So every time I'd talk to him, homeboy would have his pilot's book out. 0.98

01:49:11.000 And he'd be going over his fucking pilot's book and going... 0.98

01:49:13.000 Like, he would constantly have it on the set, like, in between scenes. 0.99

01:49:15.000 He would do a scene, and then he would open up his pilot's book. 0.99

01:49:18.000 Goddamn. 0.99

01:49:18.000 He just was obsessed with learning how to fly a plane. 0.99

01:49:20.000 My dad was that way. 0.99

01:49:21.000 Fucking loved it. 0.99

01:49:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:49:22.000 My father was obsessed with that.

01:49:24.000 He got his pilot's license.

01:49:25.000 I never got it.

01:49:26.000 I was like, I don't know why he didn't care that much.

01:49:28.000 Well, you know what it is, man?

01:49:29.000 It's freedom.

01:49:30.000 It's like, especially a guy, obviously, I can say this now, since his wife killed him, he had a bad relationship.

01:49:36.000 Yeah.

01:49:37.000 When you have a bad relationship, you just want to fly away.

01:49:40.000 How are his kids doing, I wonder?

01:49:41.000 Do you know?

01:49:42.000 I don't know.

01:49:43.000 I don't know.

01:49:44.000 Horrible story.

01:49:46.000 That was the worst.

01:49:47.000 I remember talking to you right after it.

01:49:49.000 Again, this is another thing where it was a dissociative.

01:49:52.000 It was a psych medicine.

01:49:54.000 It was Zoloft mixed with cocaine.

01:49:56.000 Not saying that she wouldn't have done that without anything.

01:49:59.000 Not saying that the drugs are responsible.

01:50:00.000 But I'm saying it's eerie how many different violent episodes are connected to psych medication.

01:50:08.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:50:09.000 You're fucking with the very way that your brain interfaces with reality. 1.00

01:50:14.000 To think that that doesn't have consequences is absurd. 1.00

01:50:18.000 It's absurd.

01:50:19.000 It's absurd.

01:50:19.000 Yeah.

01:50:20.000 And to think that you can sort of poo-poo those consequences, like correlation is not causation.

01:50:25.000 Okay.

01:50:26.000 You're right.

01:50:27.000 You're right.

01:50:27.000 But have you done a study to find out what's what?

01:50:29.000 Have you really dug into it?

01:50:31.000 Have you looked into these people?

01:50:32.000 Have you found out what they were like?

01:50:33.000 Is there a way to even back-engineer their personality before you start adding drugs?

01:50:37.000 Is there a way?

01:50:38.000 Do you know what the difference between depression and psychotic madness is?

01:50:42.000 I don't know.

01:50:43.000 I'm not.

01:50:44.000 And I think, obviously, the guy, the Vegas shooter, nobody knew, right?

01:50:48.000 If nobody knew and he just did that, so there's a line that he can cross where he's capable of doing that.

01:50:53.000 You don't know what that line is, right?

01:50:54.000 My point is, we're not dealing with an exact science.

01:50:58.000 We're dealing with something that varies so widely.

01:51:02.000 And they adjust the dosages depending on how you react to it.

01:51:06.000 The only reason why people are saying it's fine is because they make money from it.

01:51:09.000 That's it.

01:51:10.000 They didn't make money from it.

01:51:11.000 They'd be like, whoa, [...

01:51:13.000 How many people are being prescribed?

01:51:14.000 What?

01:51:15.000 Yeah.

01:51:15.000 Why?

01:51:16.000 Did you try exercise?

01:51:17.000 You didn't.

01:51:18.000 Okay.

01:51:18.000 So you just took a pill.

01:51:19.000 You're eating sugar all day and you just took a pill.

01:51:21.000 Now everything's supposed to be good.

01:51:22.000 Did you check your hormones?

01:51:22.000 Did you do anything other than that?

01:51:24.000 Yeah.

01:51:25.000 Your thyroid, your hormones, any of that.

01:51:27.000 Did you try meditation?

01:51:27.000 Did you try exercise?

01:51:29.000 Did you try jogging?

01:51:30.000 I want you to try jogging for six months and I'll give you the pills. 0.96

01:51:34.000 But then again, is that hypocritical?

01:51:36.000 If I think coke should be legal, shouldn't I think that people should be able to take a pill?

01:51:41.000 Well, I think your objection to that is that there's an entire industry making lots of money and making claims about those psychotic drugs, those drugs, those psychosomatic, whatever the word is, drugs.

01:51:53.000 That maybe in many cases are not true.

01:51:57.000 I'm sure that things like Prozac and Zoloft have their place.

01:52:01.000 I'm sure they work for some people.

01:52:03.000 I know, in fact, I have family members that really do well with Xanax.

01:52:07.000 And I do as well.

01:52:08.000 And I know people that have helped as well.

01:52:09.000 And just like weed is good for some people and other people can't function.

01:52:13.000 I can't really function on marijuana.

01:52:14.000 You're talking pretty good right now.

01:52:15.000 Thank you.

01:52:17.000 Yes, I am.

01:52:18.000 But for the most part, it depends on your chemistry and your body.

01:52:22.000 But I think what you're objecting to is that people are getting very, very wealthy, certainly companies, on...

01:52:31.000 Claims that are not measurable and not always true.

01:52:35.000 There's that. 0.99

01:52:35.000 But there's also the same reason why I don't think a 900-year-old dude should be able to fuck a 50-year-old lady. 0.99

01:52:40.000 Because I think she's basically like a baby to him. 0.99

01:52:42.000 This is what I think. 0.97

01:52:44.000 I think that people are too goddamn vulnerable and gullible. 0.99

01:52:47.000 And when you have these commercials where there's people walking down the street and cartoon butterflies are flying around and they're all jolly and you're selling antidepressants and then you start listing off Explosive anal bleeding. 1.00

01:53:01.000 Heart blowing out of your fucking chest like the Alien movie. 1.00

01:53:04.000 Your dick falls off. 1.00

01:53:05.000 Your feet go numb. 1.00

01:53:06.000 You start reading off this thing while you're showing the same cheerful environment and crazy music.

01:53:12.000 I think that alone shows you that there's a problem.

01:53:17.000 Just those commercials alone.

01:53:18.000 The fact that they exist.

01:53:20.000 The way they're structured.

01:53:21.000 The fact that they have to say all these horrific side effects.

01:53:26.000 For like a minute, two minutes of the commercial, it's a horrific side effect.

01:53:30.000 A giant, like, if you have, like, legitimately have, and what is a commercial?

01:53:34.000 30 seconds?

01:53:36.000 It's entirely possible that 15 of those 30 seconds are going to be the consequences of you taking this drug. 0.98

01:53:41.000 While you're looking at cartoon bunny rabbits and wheat flying through the air and everybody's smiling and there's a bunch of whistles and fucking piano and it seems like everybody's having a grand old time. 0.95

01:53:52.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:53:53.000 And they're talking about death and suicidal thoughts and psychotic episodes.

01:53:58.000 Come on! 0.61

01:53:59.000 If you want a really good insight into how Big Pharma works, read Ben Goldacre's book, Big Pharma. 0.99

01:54:04.000 Fucking great book. 0.98

01:54:05.000 Bad Pharma, I think it's called. 1.00

01:54:06.000 It's just money.

01:54:07.000 And it's the same thing as all of it.

01:54:10.000 It's tribalism. 0.79

01:54:11.000 Because if you could look at your team, your pharmaceutical team, as being you against everybody else, you could figure out a way to sell fucked up drugs to people that you really shouldn't I just have to say something because we're doing this podcast that my entire act right now my new hour is all about this and everybody who's seen me knows that this is true so I want to say this because you're talking about teams and tribalism the theme of my fucking next hour is exactly this how we break up into teams so I just don't want anybody to think that my next 0.80

01:54:41.000 hour has been influenced by this fucking podcast because I love that you're thinking about the same thing I am I think a lot of people are thinking about this now because as we're running into this weird situation where we realize that You know, our democracy is in some weird way being examined. 0.89

01:54:58.000 Well, it's being fractured. 0.94

01:55:00.000 It's being fractured.

01:55:01.000 But it's being examined by people that are looking at it from all sorts of different angles in an unprecedented manner, right?

01:55:07.000 And we're looking at the influence that Russia might have had and all this Bernie Sanders is going to run in 2020. There's so much going on right now that's at this intense, incredibly high level.

01:55:18.000 That we're all sort of like caught up in this thing trying to figure out what's going to happen next.

01:55:24.000 It's also we're having really trouble knowing what to believe.

01:55:27.000 Yes.

01:55:28.000 Right?

01:55:28.000 I mean, we don't know what to believe and what to believe in.

01:55:31.000 I mean, is this a bot?

01:55:32.000 And what is Twitter?

01:55:34.000 Right.

01:55:34.000 I mean, if six people are saying you did something and that's it, how true is this?

01:55:40.000 And if the stories are all remarkably similar, now there's some consistencies, i.e.

01:55:44.000 Charlie Rose.

01:55:46.000 It's a very interesting time because privacy...

01:55:50.000 Privacy is dead, yet we still don't really know what to believe.

01:55:56.000 I'm getting information from six different sources, so who's actually telling me the truth about that person or that event?

01:56:05.000 That's the biggest.

01:56:06.000 That's, to me, one of the biggest things.

01:56:09.000 And when you add that to clickbaitiness, it gets to be a real problem.

01:56:13.000 It creates cynicism, and it creates paranoia, and it creates the idea that I can't rely on the institutions I used to be able to rely on.

01:56:21.000 Yeah, and there's also been an observed strategy of really inflated headlines that get altered later.

01:56:28.000 You know, they say something completely ridiculous, it's not really represented by the facts, and then they tone it down when people complain, but they got all the initial hits.

01:56:36.000 That's right. 0.84

01:56:36.000 Well, politics is doing that. 0.84

01:56:37.000 You can sway a vote by floating things anonymously, and then by the time it comes out that it's bullshit, well, you've lost. 0.84

01:56:46.000 Well, it's also dirty to name stuff after important values, like the Patriot Act. 0.85

01:56:50.000 Of course. 1.00

01:56:51.000 Like, hey, you fuck. 1.00

01:56:52.000 How do you vote against the Patriot Act? 1.00

01:56:54.000 You can't.

01:56:54.000 That's the Patriot.

01:56:55.000 You're not a Patriot?

01:56:56.000 Exactly.

01:56:57.000 Like, that's rude.

01:56:58.000 Of course.

01:56:59.000 That's rude. 0.97

01:56:59.000 That's a rude, dirty trick. 0.97

01:57:01.000 That's right.

01:57:01.000 Somebody should have pointed that out.

01:57:02.000 David Frum did. 0.93

01:57:03.000 If somebody had any balls that was on the Senate floor. 0.91

01:57:06.000 David Frum did. 0.96

01:57:06.000 Did he? 0.96

01:57:07.000 Good for him.

01:57:07.000 In a book called Don't Think of an Elephant, I think it was called.

01:57:09.000 What year was this when he did it?

01:57:10.000 I read that a long time ago, but he basically talks about how language, if you learn how to manipulate language, it is very beneficial, man.

01:57:19.000 Of course.

01:57:21.000 It's really interesting.

01:57:21.000 I read...

01:57:24.000 Interesting things about, like, our population.

01:57:26.000 Do you know that 80, I think it's 82% of Americans can't name one living scientist?

01:57:31.000 Yet, if you ask, 82% of Americans will say that politicians should be talking to scientists.

01:57:40.000 Even though they can't name one living scientist, like Neil deGrasse Tyson or Stephen Hawking or Lawrence Krauss.

01:57:47.000 At the same time, there is a deep, not only mistrust, but also respect for science. 0.99

01:57:53.000 In other words, hey, hey, hey, you politicians, listen to the fucking science. 0.99

01:57:56.000 If there's a weapon out there that can, if there's a technology that can reduce all the dust, listen to those fucking guys. 0.99

01:58:02.000 At the same time, I find it very interesting that science is still being questioned. 0.98

01:58:06.000 Like, there's real questions on the right about the science behind climate change.

01:58:11.000 Right.

01:58:11.000 Well, did you see what happened recently?

01:58:12.000 Was it in Texas?

01:58:13.000 The recent rash of earthquakes?

01:58:15.000 I tweeted about it today.

01:58:17.000 Directly connected to fracking.

01:58:19.000 I'm sure.

01:58:20.000 100%.

01:58:47.000 Able to overcome certain things that men have inherently.

01:58:50.000 You're talking about James Damore, the guy from the Google Note.

01:58:53.000 Yes.

01:58:54.000 I just want to free people to Google the wrong guy.

01:58:56.000 He's the Google memo guy.

01:58:57.000 Yeah, and I read that Google memo twice.

01:58:59.000 And what's interesting is a lot of evolutionary psychologists and biologists basically said, well, what he was saying was just drawing on empirical evidence based on how, for example, A 48-year-old, a 48-month-old infant female and a 48-month-old male will look at two,

01:59:18.000 if you give them a choice between looking at something moving and a human face, typically the female, the 48-hour-old female, will look at the face, the human face.

01:59:27.000 The boy will look at the moving object.

01:59:30.000 What about lesbians? 1.00

01:59:31.000 I don't know. 0.80

01:59:31.000 What about if a kid is right out of the room, like leather-cut Tuscadero? 0.80

01:59:34.000 Yeah.

01:59:34.000 That's a different story.

01:59:35.000 With a mohawk.

01:59:36.000 Happy days.

01:59:37.000 With a Theo Vaughn haircut.

01:59:39.000 Do you remember when Pinky Tuscadero came to town? 0.69

01:59:40.000 Yes, I do.

01:59:41.000 Leather was out of town.

01:59:42.000 Remember this?

01:59:44.000 Yeah, they did that thing.

01:59:46.000 You had to learn it.

01:59:46.000 How do you remember that?

01:59:47.000 I remember that.

01:59:48.000 We're the same age.

01:59:49.000 We had to learn it in high school.

01:59:50.000 Pinky Tuscadero.

01:59:51.000 Pinky Tuscadero! 0.99

01:59:54.000 You had to learn it.

01:59:55.000 And once you learn it, you only learn how to do it one-sided.

01:59:57.000 Are we 50 or what?

01:59:58.000 Was that her?

01:59:59.000 Who's that chick? 1.00

01:59:59.000 No. 1.00

02:00:00.000 No.

02:00:00.000 That's a new chick.

02:00:02.000 Oh, that's her?

02:00:03.000 That's what she looks like now?

02:00:04.000 That was Pinky Tuscadero?

02:00:05.000 Wow, that's what she looked like? 0.92

02:00:07.000 That's leather Tuscadero.

02:00:09.000 Hmm.

02:00:10.000 That's leather Tuscadero and then there was Pinky.

02:00:12.000 Yeah, Pinky was different. 0.63

02:00:13.000 Which one's Pinky? 1.00

02:00:13.000 Pinky was like a little tougher. 1.00

02:00:15.000 She wore like a pink leather jacket.

02:00:17.000 She sure did.

02:00:18.000 There she is.

02:00:19.000 There she is.

02:00:20.000 No, she had her shirt like hot. 0.97

02:00:22.000 She was hot. 1.00

02:00:22.000 She was hot in like a dirty mom way. 1.00

02:00:24.000 Damn right. 1.00

02:00:25.000 She was a fucking dancer. 1.00

02:00:26.000 Woo! 1.00

02:00:27.000 Look at her with Fonzie. 1.00

02:00:28.000 And look at Fonzie! 1.00

02:00:29.000 By the way, you want to talk about the nicest guy on the planet?

02:00:31.000 It might be Henry Winkler.

02:00:32.000 I've met him.

02:00:32.000 He's such a sweetie.

02:00:33.000 He's a doll.

02:00:34.000 He's a sweetie.

02:00:35.000 He's a beautiful man.

02:00:36.000 He's a really, really nice guy.

02:00:37.000 Yes, he is.

02:00:38.000 I did a Kevin James movie with him.

02:00:39.000 You did?

02:00:40.000 Yeah.

02:00:41.000 Guy could not have been nicer.

02:00:42.000 You know, I was supposed to do Kevin Can Wait.

02:00:44.000 They offered me a part, but I was in New York and I couldn't do it because I was doing Gotham comedy. 0.99

02:00:48.000 I don't want to hear your fucking excuses, bro. 0.96

02:00:49.000 No, but I'm glad I said that because I feel bad because I miss Kevin. 0.99

02:00:52.000 I really love him.

02:00:53.000 He's a good guy.

02:00:53.000 Have you talked to him lately?

02:00:55.000 No, I haven't, but I love that guy.

02:00:56.000 I love Kevin.

02:00:56.000 And Leah Remini's on that show, right?

02:00:58.000 Yeah, she's back.

02:00:58.000 She's a new wife.

02:00:59.000 Damn! 1.00

02:01:00.000 I don't know what happened. 1.00

02:01:01.000 Scientology.

02:01:01.000 I love Leah.

02:01:02.000 When you mentioned Phil Hartman did some album covers, I found this.

02:01:05.000 Oh, yeah.

02:01:05.000 He did Asia.

02:01:06.000 Dude, have you heard Charles Manson's song?

02:01:10.000 He did Asia? 0.96

02:01:10.000 Yeah. 0.96

02:01:11.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

02:01:12.000 From Steely Dan. 0.99

02:01:13.000 What?

02:01:14.000 Yeah, what else do you have?

02:01:15.000 Eight album covers designed by Legendary Comedian.

02:01:17.000 America.

02:01:18.000 Yeah, that's right.

02:01:18.000 And Poco.

02:01:19.000 Yep, he did that. 0.99

02:01:20.000 Are you fucking kidding? 0.99

02:01:22.000 No, he was awesome, man. 0.99

02:01:23.000 Did you hear...

02:01:25.000 I'm sorry.

02:01:25.000 He did that?

02:01:26.000 Wow.

02:01:27.000 The Firesign Theater, Fighting Clowns?

02:01:29.000 Wow. 0.99

02:01:30.000 Damn, I want to get a print of that. 0.99

02:01:33.000 Go back to that. 0.98

02:01:34.000 See if we can find a print of that.

02:01:36.000 Firesign Theater, Fighting Clowns?

02:01:37.000 I'll look it up.

02:01:38.000 Yeah, let's get a print of that and put it up in the studio.

02:01:40.000 Did you hear Charles Manson's song?

02:01:44.000 Did I hear about it?

02:01:44.000 I jerked off to it.

02:01:46.000 It was amazing. 0.92

02:01:47.000 Sir!

02:01:47.000 Sir, please!

02:01:48.000 Sorry.

02:01:50.000 5'2 Charlie Manson!

02:01:51.000 5'2 Charlie Manson! 1.00

02:01:52.000 I ate your garbage man! 1.00

02:01:55.000 You people held me down! 0.98

02:01:58.000 I played him on MADtv.

02:02:00.000 Yeah, man.

02:02:01.000 That's right, baby!

02:02:05.000 It's amazing that that guy got so many people to follow him.

02:02:07.000 But that's the thing.

02:02:09.000 900-year-old people would not follow Charles Manson.

02:02:12.000 Man, stop talking about the 900-year-old people.

02:02:13.000 That's a long way out.

02:02:14.000 But that's the whole reason why we are infants.

02:02:17.000 We're just infants with a very short lifetime.

02:02:20.000 Our lifespan is quick.

02:02:21.000 Well, let me ask you this.

02:02:22.000 Imagine if people looked like, you ever look at a person from like the 1800s when they first started inventing photographs?

02:02:27.000 You see a 25-year-old, they're like, oh my god, he's almost dead.

02:02:30.000 They look so old.

02:02:31.000 They look so weathered.

02:02:33.000 They look like they were just dirt had been hit in their face.

02:02:35.000 The most eerie pictures are when they would take pictures with their dead relatives.

02:02:38.000 Oh, yeah.

02:02:39.000 You ever seen that?

02:02:39.000 Yeah.

02:02:39.000 This is my kid.

02:02:40.000 They all died.

02:02:41.000 They have pictures of them.

02:02:42.000 They take pictures with them.

02:02:43.000 Yeah, those people, they died quicker. 1.00

02:02:46.000 They looked like shit quicker. 1.00

02:02:47.000 But if you lived 800 years, this is what I think about. 1.00

02:02:49.000 I don't think about developing that much understanding.

02:02:51.000 I feel like I'd be like, all right, well, I guess I'll start the drums and then the guitar and then the piano and I'll master those as well.

02:02:58.000 And I would just figure out all the skills I'd master.

02:03:01.000 Let me tell you what you would be at 80 or 800 years old.

02:03:04.000 What?

02:03:05.000 You'd be living in a castle.

02:03:06.000 Yeah.

02:03:07.000 And you would basically be having young ladies come to the castle and give them seminars.

02:03:13.000 Yeah.

02:03:13.000 That'd be 40 to 50. Enjoy your life.

02:03:16.000 Yeah.

02:03:17.000 Well, an older woman, because you're 800. They're going to look hot as fuck, and they're still going to be kind of spiritual, but not really religious. 1.00

02:03:23.000 Yep. 1.00

02:03:23.000 And you're going to fuck. 1.00

02:03:26.000 Would I be over it, though? 1.00

02:03:29.000 Why?

02:03:30.000 Why, does it stop being awesome?

02:03:31.000 Does sex stop being awesome? 1.00

02:03:32.000 I think that's a crock of shit designed by people who don't want to fuck. 1.00

02:03:35.000 Me too. 1.00

02:03:36.000 One day it's gonna be boring.

02:03:37.000 Me too, buddy.

02:03:38.000 One day.

02:03:39.000 Me too. 0.99

02:03:40.000 One day you're not gonna like tits. 1.00

02:03:41.000 You're so right, man. 0.99

02:03:42.000 I love tits. 1.00

02:03:43.000 One day you're not gonna like dicks and mouths. 1.00

02:03:46.000 Okay. 0.98

02:03:46.000 One day, it's gonna be boring. 0.98

02:03:48.000 Well, okay, maybe, but I don't see any evidence.

02:03:52.000 I'm not seeing any evidence that that's real.

02:03:54.000 I think you're making things up, and I'm not really interested in talking to you about this. 0.99

02:03:57.000 So, I find your fucking opinions are exhausting, and they're boring. 0.99

02:04:04.000 So you hang on to them. 1.00

02:04:06.000 Your opinions are exhausting and they're boring.

02:04:09.000 Yeah, so you hang on to them.

02:04:10.000 You run with them.

02:04:10.000 But I go, nah.

02:04:12.000 Nah, I'm good at it.

02:04:13.000 Nah.

02:04:13.000 The base living.

02:04:15.000 Here's the thing.

02:04:16.000 There's this idea that there's some higher level of thinking and there's base physical pleasures.

02:04:21.000 That's not real.

02:04:22.000 You have 100 years and then you're dead.

02:04:25.000 So you're supposed to have fun.

02:04:26.000 If you're lucky, you've got 100 years.

02:04:27.000 Just because you enjoy some very intellectual pursuits, it does not mean you should enjoy... 0.99

02:04:33.000 Getting your drink on every now and then or doing something stupid or being silly or sex or anything. 0.99

02:04:40.000 What would you say to yourself right now if I put your 25-year-old or your 20-year-old body right there? 1.00

02:04:47.000 What would you say to yourself right now? 1.00

02:04:49.000 Figure it out, bitch. 1.00

02:04:50.000 Really? 1.00

02:04:50.000 That's what I'd say. 1.00

02:04:51.000 Yeah, you gotta figure it out.

02:04:52.000 You're gonna make your mistakes.

02:04:53.000 What you're gonna learn from someone, you're never gonna learn from them sitting down saying, listen, you gotta learn from me.

02:04:58.000 What you're gonna learn from someone is by example.

02:05:00.000 What you're gonna learn from someone is by someone out there following a lead that you know is difficult and achieving things that you think are very hard to achieve.

02:05:08.000 And you watch that and you go, okay, what you got to do is you got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

02:05:12.000 You got to grit your teeth.

02:05:14.000 You got to bear it down.

02:05:14.000 You got to work hard.

02:05:15.000 You got to be honest.

02:05:16.000 You got to be honest with yourself about how hard you're working.

02:05:18.000 And that's what a lot of people are not doing.

02:05:21.000 You're never going to learn how to slip a jab until you get punched in the face so much.

02:05:26.000 Someone's going to show you how to do it, but to really learn it to the point where it's a part of your neural patterns.

02:05:31.000 Yes.

02:05:31.000 There's certain things that happen to people where you see them slide their hips back.

02:05:36.000 Like, oh, that's a guy who's been kicked in the stomach.

02:05:38.000 Yes.

02:05:38.000 Like, he's been kicked in the stomach so many times.

02:05:41.000 Yeah, sure.

02:05:41.000 Where everything you do is a reaction, you don't have to think about it.

02:05:44.000 It's just the same thing.

02:05:45.000 For sure.

02:05:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:05:46.000 Those pathways get carved in. 0.63

02:05:47.000 And by the way, those pathways can be really shitty, too. 0.98

02:05:50.000 You can have a bunch of shitty pathways carved into your head. 0.99

02:05:52.000 Ensure your failure. 1.00

02:05:53.000 Ensure your failure.

02:05:54.000 Ensure your questioning yourself and also blaming a bunch of other people.

02:05:59.000 You know how people are supposed to edit?

02:06:02.000 You're supposed to edit when you make a document.

02:06:04.000 You're supposed to edit when you write a book.

02:06:05.000 You should also edit your thoughts.

02:06:07.000 You can't just let them all run wild.

02:06:09.000 You can't.

02:06:10.000 Because some of them are really impulsive and they're not well fabricated. 1.00

02:06:15.000 And if you try to defend those fucking stupid thoughts, you're going to be like what we were talking about with conspiracy theories. 1.00

02:06:21.000 And learn what not to listen to. 1.00

02:06:23.000 That's the other thing. 0.98

02:06:24.000 Not all fucking ideas are on the same plane. 0.98

02:06:27.000 There are a lot of people you shouldn't be listening to. 0.97

02:06:30.000 And if you want to be really good at something, find the right tutor.

02:06:33.000 There's a big difference between Rafael Cordero and, you know, if you want to learn how to kickbox or whatever, and that dude over there.

02:06:40.000 Right, right, right.

02:06:41.000 Yeah, if you can.

02:06:42.000 Well, yeah, if you have the, I mean, good guidance and tutelage is really important.

02:06:47.000 It is.

02:06:48.000 You know, what's interesting now is that people that don't have access to good guidance and tutelage still have access to online good guidance and tutelage.

02:06:53.000 I was going to say, you got the Gracie University, you got YouTube, you got Hanzo Gracie giving you a little thing.

02:06:59.000 I mean, come on.

02:07:00.000 Eddie Bravo has this whole system, Tenth Planet Jiu-Jitsu system.

02:07:02.000 It's all available online.

02:07:03.000 You can learn all the moves.

02:07:04.000 And if you're in a small town, Eddie has over...

02:07:07.000 I want to say, go to 10thplanetjujitsu.com, 10thplanetjj.com.

02:07:12.000 I want to say he has more than 80 students, or excuse me, more than 80 studios worldwide.

02:07:18.000 Yeah.

02:07:19.000 Wow.

02:07:19.000 I think he has more than 80 schools.

02:07:21.000 Wow.

02:07:22.000 And they put up a lot of the data of the stuff they're doing and stuff they're working on, drills and things.

02:07:28.000 A lot of it's online.

02:07:29.000 Yeah.

02:07:29.000 That's amazing.

02:07:30.000 Yeah, how many, what does it say? 1.00

02:07:32.000 Look at the fucking... 1.00

02:07:33.000 That's incredible, Eddie. 1.00

02:07:35.000 Look at the success, son.

02:07:35.000 Tenth planet jiu-jitsu.

02:07:36.000 Look at the success.

02:07:37.000 I hope he's charging a lot to license that.

02:07:39.000 He's making money, trust me.

02:07:40.000 We'll talk later.

02:07:41.000 Look at this, though.

02:07:42.000 Look at this.

02:07:43.000 This is, I mean, this is insane.

02:07:45.000 That's amazing.

02:07:46.000 He's got a crazy, a crazy number of people that follow his jiu-jitsu.

02:07:51.000 Maybe he is right about his conspiracy.

02:07:52.000 Nope, but he's definitely right about jiu-jitsu.

02:07:55.000 The chemtrail thing is another one.

02:07:57.000 He claimed that for a long time.

02:07:59.000 He'll put something up on his Instagram page.

02:08:01.000 I know why he believes that, because he doesn't believe in the government.

02:08:03.000 But my position is, I get that.

02:08:06.000 And I don't trust a lot of people either. 0.79

02:08:09.000 But you have to trust the people that are scientists that are all agreeing that if a fucking jet engine that's heated up goes through condensation in a certain atmosphere, it creates artificial clouds. 0.68

02:08:19.000 It's called being responsive to evidence? 0.95

02:08:21.000 It is.

02:08:22.000 And it's also like you can't...

02:08:25.000 You can't mock that.

02:08:27.000 It's very important if you're going to get anywhere with any of this stuff.

02:08:29.000 Especially when it's on your wrist and in your hand.

02:08:31.000 And you're going to have to figure out.

02:08:32.000 Especially when you're listening to it like this.

02:08:33.000 There's science, measurable science that works, right?

02:08:36.000 So the science that goes into your earphones, that goes into the vaccines and antibiotics that push you beyond your biology...

02:08:42.000 The science that gets food, fresh food in front of you, all that shit, is you're benefiting from that, and usually the science that you don't believe in is the same science you're actually using to speak into. 0.85

02:08:56.000 Well, yeah, that's the argument we were having yesterday, that it's so ridiculous that anybody would have an issue with the highest minds in the world deciding whether or not things are real and things are not real and what is and what isn't. 0.94

02:09:09.000 Well, he thinks somebody's getting paid or something.

02:09:11.000 It's really weird.

02:09:11.000 I don't know what he believes.

02:09:13.000 We could sit him down and talk to him about it.

02:09:14.000 But my point about all of it was that the very genius that allows him to, like, shut down jiu-jitsu attacks.

02:09:22.000 Like, he doesn't recognize jiu-jitsu attacks.

02:09:24.000 It's like, well, this is valid, too. 1.00

02:09:26.000 No, he's like, shut that shit down and move forward. 0.99

02:09:28.000 And it's one of the reasons why he's so good at jiu-jitsu. 1.00

02:09:31.000 He's so good at jiu-jitsu because he doesn't, like, recognize your attack as valid.

02:09:35.000 God, that's amazing. 1.00

02:09:36.000 He shuts that shit down. 1.00

02:09:37.000 It's really interesting. 1.00

02:09:39.000 That's amazing.

02:09:40.000 Because he's an undeniable.

02:09:41.000 Eddie Bravo is an undeniable jiu-jitsu genius.

02:09:43.000 You know Ivan Salvari?

02:09:46.000 Sure.

02:09:46.000 Yeah, he's a great guy.

02:09:47.000 Salvari.

02:09:48.000 Say his name right.

02:09:48.000 I'm sorry.

02:09:49.000 Have some respect.

02:09:49.000 Shout out to Ivan.

02:09:50.000 He gave me a lesson.

02:09:52.000 It was so awesome. 1.00

02:09:54.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:09:54.000 I went to Seattle in a school. 1.00

02:09:56.000 You know, he's the only guy in the UFC that has a submission.

02:09:58.000 I think maybe one other person might have it now.

02:10:00.000 But for the longest time, he was the only guy that had a body triangle rear mount submission where he got a guy.

02:10:07.000 He got Tony Fricklin in the...

02:10:08.000 He got his back.

02:10:09.000 Yeah.

02:10:09.000 And when you flatten somebody out and you have someone in a body triangle...

02:10:13.000 Yeah. 0.93

02:10:13.000 It's so fucking brutally painful that Tony Fricklin tapped. 0.93

02:10:19.000 He was the first guy ever to tap from a body triangle. 0.96

02:10:21.000 And I remember I watched him do that, and I was like, oh, wow, because I knew that that hurt.

02:10:26.000 But I didn't know if someone would tap from it in a UFC fight.

02:10:29.000 I was like, what?

02:10:29.000 Whoa!

02:10:30.000 For a guy like me, he's probably 43, 44 now, and he said he invited me to school.

02:10:35.000 I was just so psyched, and he was going to teach me tricks and just like in-close fighting, dirty boxing.

02:10:40.000 Right.

02:10:40.000 And he put Vaseline on me.

02:10:42.000 I was like, what's going on here?

02:10:43.000 Yeah.

02:10:44.000 See, he gets a body triangle.

02:10:45.000 Jesus Christ.

02:10:46.000 He's tapping for a body lock.

02:10:48.000 He's awesome.

02:10:49.000 It's so painful.

02:10:50.000 He's such a great guy.

02:10:51.000 Look at him.

02:10:52.000 He's from Chile. 1.00

02:10:53.000 Yeah, he's a bad motherfucker, and he's got a rooster tattooed on his ribs. 0.99

02:10:56.000 Yes, he does, and it was funny, because he came to my show, and then the next day, I got in the ring with him, and he put grease on me, and we're just doing little things with gloves, and when you, for a man like me, who's basically 170 pounds and nothing compared to... 0.99

02:11:13.000 And when you feel that a man who's been throwing bodies around his whole life and punching, and it's been his life, and he's probably about 220, maybe 230, and he's a little heavier than when he used to fight, but the strength and just the density of his body as you're fucking trying to do anything and he just moves you,

02:11:31.000 he kind of shucks you around with his hips. 0.94

02:11:33.000 He's a professional fighter.

02:11:34.000 It's so humbling.

02:11:35.000 And he's super technical, too. 1.00

02:11:37.000 Oh, fuck, he's so technical. 1.00

02:11:38.000 Yeah, Ivan was like super, super technical. 1.00

02:11:39.000 Did I tell you?

02:11:40.000 There's a picture of him and Maury Smith being held court and me with Charlie Murphy.

02:11:47.000 Charlie Murphy is explaining something called the Chicago Ridge Hand.

02:11:51.000 That's like a technique, a karate technique that people aren't using enough in MMA. He's kind of right.

02:11:57.000 A ridge hand is where you would hit someone with the side of your hand.

02:12:00.000 Do you ever know a ridge hand?

02:12:01.000 Do you ever practice that?

02:12:01.000 No.

02:12:02.000 It's a karate move. 1.00

02:12:03.000 You don't know about that shit. 1.00

02:12:04.000 No, I don't know shit. 1.00

02:12:04.000 Karate move is a ridge hand. 1.00

02:12:06.000 It's like this.

02:12:06.000 This is Eddie Murphy.

02:12:08.000 That's Ivan Salivari to the right of the table, and the black, bald-headed dude is Maury Smith.

02:12:12.000 Come on. 1.00

02:12:13.000 You got two bad motherfuckers. 1.00

02:12:14.000 You got two killers at the table. 1.00

02:12:16.000 And then I'm back behind all this stuff.

02:12:19.000 I'm on this side of it.

02:12:20.000 But it was Charlie Murphy explaining Yes! 0.99

02:12:24.000 Y'all don't know shit about the Chicago Rijand. 0.98

02:12:27.000 Look at Ivan. 0.98

02:12:27.000 Ivan's so cool. 0.98

02:12:28.000 Oh, well, Charlie was holding court.

02:12:30.000 Charlie was so funny.

02:12:31.000 Like, I don't think people that never got to hang out with Charlie ever really get to understand how funny Charlie was.

02:12:36.000 I heard he was a great storyteller.

02:12:38.000 He was an amazing storyteller.

02:12:39.000 But he just would hold court and you would let him.

02:12:42.000 You would fall to the ground laughing.

02:12:43.000 He was just a great...

02:12:45.000 He was great at, like, being the guy who told the story the best.

02:12:49.000 Wow.

02:12:50.000 And it had the...

02:12:50.000 But...

02:12:51.000 It didn't translate in a stand-up as much as it should have, and this is what I think happened.

02:12:56.000 I think he jumped into stand-up, like, way too quick and was headlining, like, really early.

02:13:01.000 Like, he didn't do, like, the whole thing like we all did, like, do the open mic night.

02:13:05.000 Oh, he didn't?

02:13:06.000 No!

02:13:07.000 Dude, he was headlining like that.

02:13:09.000 He was Charlie Murphy from The Chappelle Show.

02:13:12.000 Oh! 0.60

02:13:12.000 Oh, so he hadn't done stand-up before that. 0.60

02:13:14.000 Yes, he had never done stand-up.

02:13:16.000 Can't do it.

02:13:16.000 So he figured out how to wait.

02:13:18.000 I mean, he did it, and he figured out, but I don't think he ever...

02:13:21.000 I think if you had allowed Charlie Murphy to develop the way we all did, from open-miker to middle-act to headliner to...

02:13:29.000 He would have been a world-class assassin.

02:13:32.000 Yeah.

02:13:33.000 And, you know, he died as still a very funny comedian and he was headlining all over the world.

02:13:37.000 Did you know he was sick when you were hanging out with him?

02:13:39.000 No, he was in sick when I was hanging out with him.

02:13:41.000 He had leukemia or some kind of strange blood thing?

02:13:43.000 Yeah, that all happened after I'd seen him.

02:13:47.000 I hadn't seen him in a while.

02:13:48.000 He did my podcast in like 2000, I want to say in 12, somewhere around then, maybe 13. Him and my friend Freeze Love.

02:13:58.000 Did you ever meet Eddie Murphy?

02:13:59.000 Yeah, I met Eddie in Hawaii once, just randomly.

02:14:02.000 It was funny.

02:14:03.000 It was the craziest thing ever.

02:14:05.000 Really?

02:14:05.000 It's like, he knows who I am?

02:14:06.000 Like, this is so bizarre.

02:14:07.000 That's cool. 1.00

02:14:07.000 Dude, he goes, you're a funny motherfucker. 1.00

02:14:09.000 I went, ah! 1.00

02:14:10.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.96

02:14:13.000 He reached out and grabbed my hand. 0.99

02:14:14.000 He gripped it. 1.00

02:14:15.000 He goes, you are a funny motherfucker. 1.00

02:14:17.000 Who was married to Whitney Houston? 1.00

02:14:19.000 Bobby Brown. 1.00

02:14:20.000 Bobby Brown came up to me the other day in the comedy store and told me some crazy shit. 0.99

02:14:23.000 Bobby Brown came up to me. 0.99

02:14:25.000 I was getting my ticket, and I was flying from...

02:14:28.000 I can't remember where.

02:14:29.000 And he came up and he goes, you're a funny dude, man.

02:14:32.000 You make me laugh a lot.

02:14:33.000 And he was shaking my hand.

02:14:33.000 I didn't realize who this was until somebody came up and said, you know who that was, right?

02:14:37.000 I go...

02:14:38.000 I don't.

02:14:38.000 And he goes, that was Bobby Brown.

02:14:40.000 I go, fuck that. 1.00

02:14:40.000 He looked familiar. 1.00

02:14:41.000 And then I sat next to him.

02:14:43.000 Did you start singing the songs to him?

02:14:46.000 Did you?

02:14:50.000 No.

02:14:52.000 He was the first dude to rock the microphone on the side of his face.

02:14:56.000 Really?

02:14:57.000 Headset, son. 1.00

02:14:58.000 Who had a headset before Bobby fucking Brown? 1.00

02:15:00.000 And he was dancing. 1.00

02:15:01.000 Who the fuck had a headset before Bobby Brown? 0.99

02:15:03.000 He was like pushing the technology. 0.99

02:15:06.000 Yep.

02:15:06.000 Right?

02:15:06.000 And then Christopher Titus started doing it on stage.

02:15:09.000 Really?

02:15:09.000 And I said, no.

02:15:11.000 No.

02:15:12.000 Titus does it still, I think.

02:15:13.000 He has like a little microphone.

02:15:15.000 Does the whole thing.

02:15:16.000 Walks and talks like this.

02:15:19.000 You've done Letterman.

02:15:20.000 There he is.

02:15:21.000 Look at him.

02:15:21.000 Bobby Brown.

02:15:22.000 He's got a full-on headset, son.

02:15:24.000 I didn't realize how rich he was.

02:15:26.000 Is he still super rich?

02:15:27.000 Must be.

02:15:28.000 What am I? As an accountant?

02:15:29.000 Look at that picture of him with the headset on, though.

02:15:31.000 Go to another picture.

02:15:32.000 Remember the keyboard?

02:15:32.000 Dude, this is like a guy, if you were trying to get your iMac fixed and you had to call India.

02:15:38.000 Dude, please look.

02:15:39.000 Please, please dilate on that right there. 0.88

02:15:42.000 You kidding me with that tank top?

02:15:43.000 You tuck that tank top on, and you get that jacket off your shoulders.

02:15:48.000 Go big.

02:15:49.000 By the way, that's what... 1.00

02:15:50.000 That's a gay porn, if I've ever seen one. 0.99

02:15:52.000 It sure is, and look at those awesome wristbands. 0.99

02:15:54.000 Why else did you have wristbands on, unless you were there to stop talking?

02:15:56.000 So your hands don't get all sweaty when you're...

02:15:58.000 No, when you have lube all over your hands, it doesn't get into your elbows.

02:16:01.000 You're damn right, brother. 0.95

02:16:02.000 You're damn right. 0.98

02:16:04.000 You're damn right. 0.97

02:16:05.000 Can't have blue double elbows. 0.88

02:16:07.000 Don't be mad.

02:16:07.000 We're just joking around.

02:16:08.000 I'm a big fan.

02:16:09.000 I'm a big fan. 1.00

02:16:10.000 My prerogative, bitch. 1.00

02:16:11.000 He's awesome. 1.00

02:16:12.000 Right? 1.00

02:16:13.000 That was a great fucking song. 1.00

02:16:14.000 He had some amazing shit. 1.00

02:16:15.000 It's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

02:16:17.000 But that does look gay. 1.00

02:16:18.000 By the way, I like when anybody recognizes me, I love it.

02:16:22.000 Not that there's anything wrong with that.

02:16:23.000 I'm not a cool celebrity.

02:16:25.000 Come on, buddy.

02:16:26.000 I'm tired of you saying this.

02:16:27.000 You're hurting my feelings.

02:16:28.000 What?

02:16:28.000 You're a cool celebrity.

02:16:29.000 Thanks, buddy.

02:16:30.000 If I wasn't friends with you, I'd be psyched to be friends with you.

02:16:32.000 I like hearing that, buddy.

02:16:33.000 That's the attitude I'm looking for out of you, young man. 0.99

02:16:35.000 Like, he's silly. 0.99

02:16:36.000 Damn right. 0.99

02:16:36.000 He's a good time. 0.99

02:16:38.000 I'm serious.

02:16:39.000 I'd be looking forward to hanging out with you.

02:16:40.000 Thanks, buddy.

02:16:41.000 My pleasure.

02:16:42.000 I appreciate it.

02:16:43.000 Want to talk about your dates?

02:16:44.000 Don't you have a lot of comedy dates coming up?

02:16:46.000 I'll be at Cobb's December 7th, 8th, and 9th, and then at the Schaumburg Improv the weekend after that, December, what, 14th, 15th, 16th?

02:16:53.000 Is this real?

02:16:53.000 Uh-huh.

02:16:54.000 Oh, and you guys...

02:16:56.000 Please go see Brendan Schaub, my brother.

02:16:59.000 At the Wilbur, right?

02:17:02.000 Wilbur in Boston.

02:17:04.000 Yeah, in Boston.

02:17:06.000 January 19th.

02:17:07.000 January 19th, Brendan Schaub, the Wilbur Theater in Boston.

02:17:12.000 Night before the UFC. Don't miss it.

02:17:13.000 He's doing good stuff and he's writing all kinds of funny shit.

02:17:16.000 Yeah, so people asking me if I'm doing stand-up the night before that UFC, no.

02:17:20.000 But I will be there for that UFC. But maybe I'll be hanging out with Brendan.

02:17:23.000 There you go.

02:17:24.000 I'll be hackling.

02:17:25.000 Maybe you'll open for them. 1.00

02:17:26.000 Maybe do a little fucking... 0.99

02:17:27.000 Maybe do a little 15 minutes. 0.99

02:17:29.000 Don't talk a couple jokes over here.

02:17:31.000 Don't do a couple jokes.

02:17:33.000 We'll do a couple jokes.

02:17:34.000 I don't even know who I'm playing right now.

02:17:37.000 You're playing a guy, like an old sopranos type guy.

02:17:39.000 I'm playing a guy who's got a high voice.

02:17:41.000 You and I are at the comedy store tonight, aren't we?

02:17:43.000 Yeah.

02:17:44.000 We're hanging out.

02:17:45.000 We are hanging out.

02:17:45.000 Yeah, the party continues.

02:17:47.000 Who else is there?

02:17:48.000 Chris Alia, me, you, Schaub.

02:17:50.000 And someone else.

02:17:51.000 Someone else really funny, too.

02:17:54.000 No, quite a few.

02:17:55.000 It's like a good lineup.

02:17:57.000 Uh-huh.

02:17:57.000 It's the Sam Tripoli show.

02:17:59.000 Comedy Chaos, he calls it.

02:18:00.000 Yeah, he's got a very good lineup.

02:18:02.000 I think there's one or two other comedians on that show.

02:18:04.000 Russell's on it.

02:18:05.000 Russell Peters in the house!

02:18:06.000 Ooh, my main man.

02:18:07.000 Someone else?

02:18:08.000 Felipe Esparza. 1.00

02:18:09.000 Oh, shit! 0.99

02:18:09.000 Felipe's coming! 0.99

02:18:10.000 He's amazing.

02:18:11.000 He's hilarious.

02:18:12.000 Those are the other two that I was remembering.

02:18:14.000 That's a good lineup right there. 0.99

02:18:15.000 That's a great goddamn lineup. 1.00

02:18:16.000 Bring the stitches for your sides, you fucks! 1.00

02:18:18.000 There it is. 1.00

02:18:19.000 Oh, Eleanor. 0.80

02:18:20.000 Eleanor Kerrigan. 1.00

02:18:21.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:18:21.000 Very funny. 1.00

02:18:22.000 I love Eleanor.

02:18:23.000 Eleanor is one of the funniest people alive and used to be a waitress.

02:18:27.000 She was a waitress at the comedy store for years.

02:18:29.000 Yep.

02:18:30.000 And she was the girl that I would go to when someone would tell me, this guy's really funny.

02:18:34.000 I'd go, Eleanor, is that guy really funny?

02:18:35.000 And she'd go, pfft. 1.00

02:18:36.000 Fucking hack. 0.99

02:18:37.000 Eleanor is a wonderful human being and reminds me of the women in my family, so I have a very soft spot for her. 0.99

02:18:43.000 Because she's Italian, I think.

02:18:45.000 Is it a soft spot?

02:18:46.000 I don't know if she's Italian, but either way, I love her.

02:18:48.000 Oh, that's beautiful.

02:18:49.000 I love her too.

02:18:50.000 She's Irish.

02:18:51.000 Her name's Kerrigan.

02:18:52.000 That's true, actually.

02:18:52.000 She's Helen Kerrigan.

02:18:53.000 Isn't that her married name, though?

02:18:55.000 No.

02:18:55.000 I feel like she's Italian.

02:18:56.000 Okay.

02:18:57.000 Nope.

02:18:58.000 Eleanor Kerrigan.

02:18:59.000 She's from the Italian side of Ireland.

02:19:03.000 What?!

02:19:04.000 This is not real.

02:19:05.000 You don't know.

02:19:06.000 This is not real.

02:19:06.000 The Eleanor's an Italian man.

02:19:07.000 Nobody appreciates Dom Herrera more than the Irish. 1.00

02:19:10.000 You ever tell me what Dom Herrera said one time?

02:19:13.000 Me and Dove were talking to these young, very pretty girls upstairs in the Laugh Factory.

02:19:18.000 And he's taking a piss next to Dove and he goes, Are those girls good looking? 0.99

02:19:22.000 And Dove goes, Yeah.

02:19:24.000 You couldn't tell?

02:19:25.000 And he goes, No.

02:19:26.000 I mean, at that age, when they're that young, they can have a goat head. 0.99

02:19:29.000 I'm still attracted to her.

02:19:34.000 Dom Irera is a guy that's still swinging.

02:19:38.000 Like, you know, we all have this idea that a certain comedian age, like when you get into your 60s, you're not going to write new material anymore.

02:19:44.000 He's always writing.

02:19:45.000 Killing. 0.99

02:19:45.000 He's always killing. 0.99

02:19:46.000 And he's killing when he sits next to you. 0.96

02:19:48.000 He'll pull over and sit next to you and go, oh, look at you queers. 1.00

02:19:51.000 Just find a way to just say the right thing.

02:19:54.000 The way he tells me, he goes, I did a set, I've done really well, whatever.

02:19:57.000 And he goes, Brad, Brad, come over here.

02:19:59.000 I was like, oh, this is Brad.

02:20:00.000 I didn't know him that well.

02:20:01.000 I go, whoa, whoa, what's up, Don?

02:20:03.000 He goes, you know what I like about you as a comedian?

02:20:05.000 I was like, what?

02:20:06.000 I'm so excited.

02:20:07.000 He goes, you don't really go for the laughs. 1.00

02:20:14.000 I was like, fuck off. 1.00

02:20:16.000 That's where he lives. 1.00

02:20:17.000 He lives in the joking with other comedians.

02:20:19.000 It's like, Dom Herrera, in my opinion, is the best guest ever on Kill Tony.

02:20:23.000 You ever see him on Kill Tony?

02:20:24.000 No, I'm sure he's great.

02:20:25.000 He's magical.

02:20:26.000 He's magical.

02:20:27.000 Like, I've done it with him.

02:20:28.000 He's magical.

02:20:28.000 He's so professionally funny.

02:20:30.000 He's so professionally funny, but also there's a bunch of comedians that he's making laugh.

02:20:35.000 Like, that's what Dom Herrera is the best at.

02:20:37.000 So it's, you know, me and him and Red Band and Tony and then the comedian who does the set and then the audience who are comedy nerds. 0.98

02:20:45.000 So it's like Dom Herrera is just coming in there fucking with six guns loaded. 0.98

02:20:50.000 Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. 1.00

02:20:51.000 Yep.

02:20:52.000 Yeah, that's his...

02:20:53.000 He's got an arsenal.

02:20:55.000 Yeah, if I was Tony Hinchcliffe, I would fire everybody else.

02:20:58.000 And I would say the Kill Tony show is Dom Herrera is there, and then another guest.

02:21:03.000 Like, it's always Dom Herrera.

02:21:05.000 We gotta have him on The Fighter and the Kid.

02:21:06.000 Why don't you?

02:21:06.000 We haven't had him in a long time.

02:21:07.000 No, a long time ago.

02:21:09.000 He couldn't make it.

02:21:09.000 I can't remember who it was.

02:21:10.000 I gotta get him on. 0.95

02:21:11.000 I fucking love him.

02:21:12.000 Who's your least favorite guest? 0.98

02:21:13.000 On The Fighter and the Kid?

02:21:15.000 Yeah.

02:21:16.000 My least favorite guest?

02:21:17.000 Don't tell me.

02:21:18.000 Let's just keep this show positive.

02:21:19.000 I don't know.

02:21:20.000 I can't remember.

02:21:20.000 You know something?

02:21:21.000 Do you ask someone a question and I hope they don't answer?

02:21:23.000 Some people just kind of like just don't come to play.

02:21:27.000 Oh, like they don't know what they're doing?

02:21:28.000 They just don't come.

02:21:29.000 They might be having an off day.

02:21:31.000 If I don't pee right now, I'm going to die.

02:21:32.000 How do you not have to pee?

02:21:34.000 God, you're impressive.

02:21:35.000 I've got a huge bladder.

02:21:37.000 Go ahead, dude. 1.00

02:21:37.000 I'm going to go pee out of my huge dick and I'll be right back. 1.00

02:21:39.000 Jamie and I will talk about LeBron James. 1.00

02:21:41.000 All right, don't talk about me now.

02:21:44.000 Tell me.

02:21:44.000 Tell me things, Jamie.

02:21:45.000 Is there a new sneaker?

02:21:47.000 He does have a new sneaker out.

02:21:49.000 Wow.

02:21:49.000 Do they have one every season?

02:21:50.000 Yeah, he's got two different pairs.

02:21:52.000 He also has his own imprint label on Nike, which is...

02:21:55.000 That's a baller move.

02:21:56.000 He sponsors Ohio State.

02:21:57.000 That's like if Conor McGregor starts co-promoting with the UFC, like he takes it to the next level.

02:22:02.000 Did you hear anything about Connor yesterday?

02:22:04.000 I don't know if it's rumors or not.

02:22:05.000 What?

02:22:06.000 He got into a fight in a pub or something.

02:22:08.000 Oh, that's terrible.

02:22:10.000 I don't know if it was even accurate or not.

02:22:12.000 Man, that's the problem with keeping it real.

02:22:14.000 Yeah.

02:22:14.000 You know, if you want to keep it real and hang with the people, eventually someone's going to test you.

02:22:18.000 Someone like you were when you were 20. You know, maybe.

02:22:21.000 For sure.

02:22:21.000 I don't know if Connor was into that.

02:22:24.000 I assume he wasn't because he's a winner.

02:22:26.000 But, man, that absolutely can happen if you want to be out there again.

02:22:32.000 Hashtag keep it real.

02:22:33.000 He's ballin', too.

02:22:34.000 Yeah, hashtag ballin'.

02:22:35.000 I mean, he's walking around with expensive watches, these beautiful David August suits on.

02:22:41.000 He wears these tailored suits everywhere.

02:22:43.000 He has these super expensive shoes and watches.

02:22:45.000 How many other Lambos are driving around Ireland, too? 1.00

02:22:48.000 A lot.

02:22:49.000 That's a good point.

02:22:50.000 That's a good point.

02:22:51.000 That's a good point.

02:22:52.000 Yeah, he's balling out of control.

02:22:54.000 I wonder what it would take him, I mean, now that he had that big crazy fight at the fight where he jumped over the fence and pushed the referee, Mark Goddard, I wonder what it would take to get him back in the cage now.

02:23:06.000 I wonder if there's gonna be fines and suspensions. 0.97

02:23:08.000 I wonder what the fuck is gonna happen. 0.55

02:23:10.000 It's quite fascinating. 0.98

02:23:11.000 But I'll tell you one thing, he makes things fun.

02:23:14.000 He does.

02:23:15.000 He makes things fun with Oscar De La Hoya's hitting the heavy bag on.

02:23:18.000 He should say that he'll fight Oscar De La Hoya, but only if Oscar agrees to wear a skirt. 0.99

02:23:22.000 You gotta wear a skirt, and you gotta wear fishnet stockings, and I'll fucking fight you. 1.00

02:23:26.000 I think there's anything still to... 0.99

02:23:27.000 I heard Roy Jones is still trying to fight Silva.

02:23:29.000 Which I don't know.

02:23:30.000 Is there any...

02:23:31.000 Not that it's gonna happen or anything, but like...

02:23:32.000 I hope Anderson does not take that bait.

02:23:34.000 Yeah.

02:23:35.000 Yeah, Roy Jones is...

02:23:36.000 I mean, you see what happened when Floyd fought Conor.

02:23:40.000 And Connor's in his prime.

02:23:42.000 And I'm not saying that Roy Jones is in his prime, but he's still very active.

02:23:45.000 He still fights.

02:23:46.000 Roy works out all the time.

02:23:47.000 And he knocked out some amateur boxer MMA fighter last year.

02:23:52.000 He had some fight.

02:23:54.000 Remember that?

02:23:54.000 There was a contest to see who gets to fight him.

02:23:57.000 He KO'd that guy with one punch.

02:23:58.000 Did Anderson get suspended for his...

02:24:01.000 Yeah, Anderson's going to be suspended for quite a while.

02:24:04.000 Really?

02:24:05.000 Yeah, if he indeed is guilty.

02:24:07.000 Let me just preface that.

02:24:09.000 If he indeed is guilty, and they don't have any reason to believe he's not.

02:24:14.000 What's your...

02:24:16.000 What do you think is the move for Conor McGregor?

02:24:18.000 Should he fight Manny Pacquiao or Tony? 0.99

02:24:21.000 A fucking bathtub made of gold and fill it with diamonds and just walk off until I get tired of doing it every day. 1.00

02:24:29.000 I'm crapping me jokes. 1.00

02:24:29.000 I'd be fucking drinking. 1.00

02:24:31.000 I'd be drinking straight Irish whiskey. 1.00

02:24:33.000 Notorious Irish whiskey. 1.00

02:24:35.000 I'd drink a fucking gun barrel full of Viagra. 1.00

02:24:38.000 A huge gun barrel. 1.00

02:24:40.000 A gun barrel.

02:24:40.000 And I'd make my way to the pub and just start shooting rounds off.

02:24:44.000 That's not a bad attitude.

02:24:47.000 It's not a good Conor McGregor accent, but it's a good Lucky Charms accent.

02:24:52.000 I would hire the most beautiful, huge volleyball player women to just carry me everywhere. 1.00

02:24:57.000 Yeah, just get giant...

02:25:00.000 Super athlete women and just carry you everywhere. 1.00

02:25:03.000 Do you think he fights Tony Ferguson or does he fight Manny Pacquiao?

02:25:07.000 He used to be not the move, but I think Tony Ferguson, like I think Eddie Bravo had a real good point about it when he and me and Brendan talked about it.

02:25:13.000 I think Tony Ferguson is the right move as far as for the fans.

02:25:18.000 I think...

02:25:18.000 Over Manny?

02:25:19.000 Yeah, I don't think that's smart.

02:25:21.000 I think if he wants to do a boxing match, the real smart move would be fight an MMA fight and then fight a boxing match in a year.

02:25:28.000 But I think that...

02:25:29.000 The Habib Nurmagomedov fight, you've really got to see Habib fight somebody else first.

02:25:34.000 And the Nate Diaz fight, although it could be huge, Nate's not really fighting anybody right now.

02:25:40.000 What I would like right now, this is my thought, I think if Nate comes back and fights someone and wins, Conor fights someone and wins, Conor has a boxing match, they have a HUGE MMA fight after that. 0.98

02:25:50.000 FUCKING HUGE! Goddammit! 1.00

02:25:53.000 I mean, three million pay-per-view buys, huge.

02:25:56.000 Gigantic.

02:25:56.000 Yeah, but he's got to get through Tony Ferguson first.

02:25:58.000 Yes, that's the fight he's got to get through.

02:26:00.000 Yeah.

02:26:01.000 That's a big fight.

02:26:02.000 He might not even have to get through that.

02:26:04.000 If he can lose, but lose in a respectable manner.

02:26:09.000 Like lose a very close five-round decision where it's like a nail-biter, where at the end of the ring, and no! 0.99

02:26:16.000 And then Tony Ferguson drops the ground and Conor's like, fuck! 0.99

02:26:20.000 And then there's like controversy. 1.00

02:26:21.000 Yeah.

02:26:22.000 I thought Conor won.

02:26:23.000 And then people, the pundits will debate it online.

02:26:25.000 If he can lose a fight like that, yes. 1.00

02:26:28.000 But if Tony lights him up, cracks him, Darce chokes him, puts him out in the first round, and then spits on his dick... 1.00

02:26:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:26:36.000 Yikes.

02:26:36.000 Then the Nate Diaz fight isn't worth a lot.

02:26:38.000 But if he can do that, he's so loved by Ireland that he could almost do anything.

02:26:45.000 Daniel Cormier said this to me.

02:26:47.000 We were at a fight.

02:26:48.000 It was in between while we were doing the stand-up thing. 0.99

02:26:51.000 We're like, you know, they set you up with the microphones and you give your analysis about the upcoming main event, that kind of shit. 0.98

02:26:56.000 And we're looking at each other and he goes... 0.99

02:26:57.000 He doesn't lose anything when he loses.

02:26:59.000 He goes, that's what's crazy.

02:27:00.000 He goes, he loses a fight, and the support is exactly where it is, if not more.

02:27:05.000 That's right.

02:27:05.000 He's like, I've never seen anything like it.

02:27:07.000 Well, I think they applaud his courage.

02:27:08.000 He's just so brave.

02:27:10.000 Like, he just puts it on the line, dude.

02:27:11.000 There's definitely that.

02:27:12.000 There's definitely that. 0.98

02:27:13.000 What he says, which is fucking crazy. 0.96

02:27:15.000 The fact that he came back and beat Nate, because I said to Brennan after I saw him lose the first time, I go, Nate's just too big for him. 0.99

02:27:21.000 He's just too big.

02:27:22.000 Came back, beat him.

02:27:23.000 And then knocks out, in the first round, knocks out Eddie Alvarez.

02:27:29.000 Second.

02:27:29.000 Second round, sorry.

02:27:30.000 He lit him up in the first round.

02:27:31.000 Unbelievable. 1.00

02:27:32.000 I was like, what the fuck? 1.00

02:27:33.000 I think it was the second round, wasn't it? 0.99

02:27:35.000 I want to say a second round.

02:27:36.000 I want to say he made it to the...

02:27:37.000 I want to say they were coaching him.

02:27:39.000 It's just fascinating, man.

02:27:40.000 It's like to see him kind of back it up.

02:27:43.000 That's what they applaud.

02:27:43.000 Just his courage and his spirit.

02:27:45.000 It's also... 1.00

02:27:46.000 He's a great shit talker. 1.00

02:27:48.000 Yes. 1.00

02:27:48.000 That's a big part of it. 1.00

02:27:49.000 Yes.

02:27:49.000 He's fun to listen to.

02:27:51.000 Who the fuck is that guy? 1.00

02:27:52.000 Look at the way he dresses. 1.00

02:27:52.000 Look at the way he dresses too, dude. 1.00

02:27:54.000 Second round?

02:27:54.000 Yeah.

02:27:55.000 Khabib needs to fight at 170. Well, you say that, but he's got a new nutritionist, and Cormier was telling me that he's having way less problems with his weight now.

02:28:04.000 He's 205!

02:28:05.000 No, no, no, he's not anymore.

02:28:06.000 No, that he's in the 170s now.

02:28:08.000 Really?

02:28:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:28:09.000 That he's, like, way lighter now than he's ever been any time close to a fight.

02:28:13.000 And that he'll have way less problem making weight for this fight.

02:28:16.000 They've got him on a very strict nutrition schedule now.

02:28:18.000 Really?

02:28:18.000 Yes.

02:28:19.000 Because he's fighting...

02:28:20.000 I'm just taking the same with his teammate...

02:28:22.000 My co-worker, Daniel Cormier, tells me.

02:28:25.000 His training partner is Luke Rockhold.

02:28:26.000 Luke walks around at 215. I've listened to him.

02:28:30.000 I've sparred both of them.

02:28:31.000 It doesn't make Nurmagomedov bigger.

02:28:32.000 You understand how that works, right?

02:28:34.000 You're right.

02:28:36.000 Luke posted a picture of him training with Khabib, and I was like, who's the giant? 0.90

02:28:41.000 Studd.

02:28:42.000 He's one of the most impressive grapplers I've ever seen in MMA. His ability to take guys who are very good, like Rafael Dos Anjos, and just sort of ragdoll him.

02:28:53.000 Well, his wrestling is...

02:28:55.000 Yeah, it is.

02:28:56.000 It's stunning.

02:28:57.000 It's a different kind of wrestling.

02:28:58.000 Because I think Dos Anjos is better now than he was during that fight, but it doesn't matter.

02:29:03.000 The way he did it to him, it's like, man...

02:29:05.000 There's levels where...

02:29:08.000 It's hard to tell with MMA because striking is involved.

02:29:11.000 When striking is involved, you don't get to see the pure grappling level.

02:29:15.000 But what I was seeing, when I was seeing just pure grappling, I was seeing strength, endurance, technique.

02:29:22.000 It was just like 30%.

02:29:24.000 They're stacked up on Nurmagomedov's side.

02:29:26.000 If he gets a hold of you, you're not getting him off.

02:29:29.000 Nobody gets him off.

02:29:32.000 Look at the size of Khabib right there. 1.00

02:29:33.000 Now, that might be the camera angle.

02:29:35.000 It could be, but he's in front, but he's not cutting weight right there.

02:29:40.000 If he is, he's halfway into the game.

02:29:43.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:29:43.000 He's a monster, man. 0.99

02:29:44.000 He does. 0.95

02:29:45.000 I think he does really well at 72. That's all I'm saying.

02:29:47.000 He posted something on his Instagram. 0.99

02:29:49.000 This is to show you why this motherfucker is so hard and why all those people from Dagestan is so hard. 1.00

02:29:54.000 He posted something on his Instagram of one of his friends who'd been tortured. 0.99

02:29:57.000 No.

02:29:58.000 He posted photos of his friend who had his stomach cut open.

02:30:01.000 Yeah, he posted on his Instagram, this guy.

02:30:05.000 There's two photos.

02:30:06.000 There's this photo, and then there's the next one.

02:30:08.000 And this guy had his stomach cut open.

02:30:10.000 They were torturing him about something.

02:30:12.000 And there's a translation.

02:30:13.000 You can translate all of it.

02:30:14.000 But it has something with him saying that someone was wrongly accused.

02:30:18.000 They were trying to get him to confess.

02:30:19.000 But the point is, this is a UFC number one contender, or at least number two, in the lightweight division, one of the most talent stacked divisions in the world.

02:30:27.000 And he's posting stuff on his page about how hard...

02:30:31.000 His environment is.

02:30:32.000 That's where he comes from.

02:30:33.000 The point where people are being tortured.

02:30:34.000 When he gets in there, his mind...

02:30:36.000 I mean, you're fighting.

02:30:37.000 Literally fighting.

02:30:38.000 He calls himself the eagle. 1.00

02:30:40.000 He's like a fucking eagle. 1.00

02:30:41.000 I mean, he's fucking ferocious when he gets in there. 1.00

02:30:45.000 And he's at a level of grappling. 0.99

02:30:47.000 Like, man, he's been doing it his whole life. 0.95

02:30:49.000 Crazy.

02:30:50.000 And at an intense, super primal level.

02:30:54.000 You know, so intense, real technical, super knowledgeable about wrestling and jiu-jitsu and submissions.

02:30:59.000 I think Daniel said that they basically tussled for 15 minutes.

02:31:05.000 Daniel the Olympian.

02:31:07.000 Yeah, he said he was hand fighting with him. 1.00

02:31:08.000 He's like, whoa, shit. 1.00

02:31:10.000 He's a beast. 1.00

02:31:11.000 Never give him enough as a beast.

02:31:12.000 And when you see him get a guy like Michael Johnson down on the ground and just own him, he owned him.

02:31:17.000 And he was saying, look, I'm sorry I've got to do this to you, man.

02:31:19.000 You've got to tap.

02:31:20.000 I need my title shot.

02:31:21.000 Is that what he's saying? 0.97

02:31:22.000 Yeah, he's beating the fuck out of him, man. 0.97

02:31:24.000 He was just holding him down and pounding on him. 0.88

02:31:25.000 It was really hard for me to watch because...

02:31:28.000 One thing, I'm impressed with Michael Johnson's complete unwillingness to tap.

02:31:34.000 He just beat me up.

02:31:35.000 He beat me up.

02:31:36.000 He was fighting through it, and then he eventually got Kim Ward.

02:31:39.000 But it was just ruthless, man.

02:31:41.000 It was ruthless. 0.98

02:31:42.000 And the control that he had on him, his arm tied up and just beating the shit out of him. 0.97

02:31:47.000 I was like, wow.

02:31:49.000 There's certain positions where you see a guy so much better than a guy that the guy who's holding down is just not going to get up.

02:31:56.000 He's not going to get up.

02:31:57.000 It's a matter of time before he gets beaten into unconsciousness.

02:31:59.000 That's right.

02:32:00.000 I feel that way about Jacare.

02:32:01.000 It's the same way.

02:32:02.000 When Jacare gets on top of you or gets you down, you know, unless you're Yoel Romero, we'll see you later.

02:32:07.000 Yeah, see how he's got his right arm tied up?

02:32:10.000 He just clamps down on his wrist and his right arm became, he became a one-arm defensive guy.

02:32:15.000 He's just a guy who's been fighting his whole, like wrestling his whole life. 0.99

02:32:18.000 So fucking strong. 0.99

02:32:19.000 And it's details. 1.00

02:32:19.000 It's fucking details though. 1.00

02:32:20.000 It's where his hips are. 0.99

02:32:21.000 It's all the minutiae, the micro movements.

02:32:23.000 It is.

02:32:24.000 And he weighs, he probably feels like he weighs 300 pounds.

02:32:27.000 I'm sure.

02:32:27.000 Like those wrestlers like that, like, you know, when you tussle with a guy who's been doing it his whole life, he can tap you if you're a regular guy by putting his weight on you after a while.

02:32:38.000 You'll just tap with his shoulder.

02:32:39.000 Speaking of which, Ben Askren is going to be on the podcast.

02:32:42.000 I'm working it out with Ben Askren.

02:32:44.000 Going to get him out here.

02:32:45.000 Finally.

02:32:46.000 I've been a Ben Askren ball rider. 0.96

02:32:48.000 He's a killer. 0.56

02:32:49.000 For several years. 1.00

02:32:51.000 Not technically a dick rider. 0.82

02:32:52.000 Ball rider. 0.98

02:32:53.000 More of a ball rider. 1.00

02:32:54.000 Because the dick is so deep in you. 1.00

02:32:55.000 And now you're riding his balls? 1.00

02:32:57.000 It's over there. 1.00

02:32:58.000 I hold on to the balls. 1.00

02:33:00.000 I look up at the dick. 1.00

02:33:01.000 How much does he weigh? 0.99

02:33:02.000 Well, he fights at 170. Okay, so he's 170. I thought he was 50 or something.

02:33:07.000 He cuts some weight, for sure.

02:33:09.000 But I don't think he cuts a lot of weight.

02:33:10.000 I mean, he's not one of the bigger guys in the division.

02:33:12.000 He's just super technical with his wrestling.

02:33:14.000 Where'd he learn? 0.99

02:33:16.000 Well, he's a fucking serious world-class amateur wrestler. 0.99

02:33:21.000 I didn't know. 0.99

02:33:22.000 I thought he was just jiu-jitsu.

02:33:24.000 No, Ben Askren.

02:33:26.000 Pull up Ben Askren's record.

02:33:28.000 You can see his collegiate wrestling record. 1.00

02:33:30.000 He was a fucking monster, man. 1.00

02:33:32.000 How about that hair? 1.00

02:33:33.000 Powerful Missouri.

02:33:34.000 Look at that.

02:33:35.000 If you pull up his record, though, his Wikipedia record, and he does a lot of work with a lot of Duke Rufus' guys, too.

02:33:43.000 He's always been a corner man.

02:33:45.000 I've always seen him at the UFC. He just had some sort of an issue with a post-Olympic career.

02:33:52.000 What is Olympic Games?

02:33:55.000 He was in Beijing.

02:33:57.000 What did he win in the Olympics?

02:33:59.000 He lost one Any 1-1, is that what it says?

02:34:04.000 Yeah.

02:34:05.000 Phenomenal wrestler.

02:34:07.000 I mean, just phenomenal.

02:34:07.000 And he's retiring undefeated as a mixed martial artist.

02:34:10.000 He just, I think he just beat Aoki.

02:34:12.000 I think that was his main, his retirement fight.

02:34:16.000 Wow.

02:34:16.000 He won another contest after the Olympics.

02:34:18.000 Dave Schultz Memorial International.

02:34:20.000 He won.

02:34:21.000 Wow.

02:34:22.000 Yeah, probably.

02:34:23.000 He defeated a silver medalist in another tournament.

02:34:26.000 Interesting.

02:34:27.000 Go to his MMA career because I want to see who he just beat for his retirement fight because he just had his retirement fight.

02:34:33.000 Yeah, Shinya Aoki, who at one point in time was one of the most exciting submission guys in the world.

02:34:39.000 He's the one who fought Nick Diaz, right?

02:34:42.000 Didn't he get tapped out by Nick Diaz?

02:34:45.000 Maybe.

02:34:45.000 He used to wear tights.

02:34:47.000 Is he still fighting though?

02:34:48.000 You're saying that was recent?

02:34:49.000 Yeah, Aoki just fought Ben Askren.

02:34:51.000 I didn't know Ben Askren was still fighting, is what I'm saying.

02:34:55.000 Yeah, this was his retirement fight.

02:34:56.000 He just had it last week.

02:34:58.000 Wow.

02:34:59.000 Yeah, I sent him a congratulations and I said, let's do a podcast.

02:35:02.000 Does he have a twin brother or am I thinking of Matt Hughes?

02:35:04.000 You're thinking of Matt Hughes.

02:35:06.000 Are you sure?

02:35:07.000 I think Ben Askren might have a twin brother too.

02:35:09.000 He might as well.

02:35:10.000 I don't know.

02:35:10.000 But let me ask you this.

02:35:13.000 How is Matt Hughes doing?

02:35:15.000 Do you know?

02:35:15.000 He's doing better, apparently.

02:35:17.000 They're really excited about his progress.

02:35:19.000 He was in a coma for quite a while.

02:35:21.000 Apparently what they're saying is that he thought that he could make it across the tracks, and that if he waited, the train takes like 10 minutes to go. 1.00

02:35:28.000 It's a fucking giant-ass train. 0.99

02:35:29.000 So he took a chance, and he hit some gravel. 1.00

02:35:31.000 You know what he said to me?

02:35:32.000 I worked with him on Warrior, and you know what he said to me?

02:35:34.000 What?

02:35:35.000 He goes, I just hope I can put my shoes on.

02:35:37.000 Put my own shoes on when I'm 70. We were talking about head trauma.

02:35:42.000 He worries about it.

02:35:43.000 He should.

02:35:45.000 Towards the end of his career, he developed a compromised chin.

02:35:51.000 That's the best way to put it.

02:35:53.000 Doesn't your brain shut down?

02:35:56.000 Everybody does.

02:35:56.000 Chuck Liddell, who had probably one of the greatest chins of all time, he exhibited it later in his career.

02:36:01.000 He just couldn't take shots anymore.

02:36:02.000 Because your body goes, oh, I've been here before, see you later, and shuts down?

02:36:05.000 Yep.

02:36:06.000 Makes sense.

02:36:07.000 That's incredible.

02:36:07.000 And even a guy who is as just rock-solid, ferocious as Chuck Liddell, he's just a walk-through bombs.

02:36:14.000 Guys would just throw bombs on him, he'd walk through them.

02:36:16.000 At the end of his career, he could not do that anymore.

02:36:18.000 Yeah, it's so interesting how a lifetime of fighting makes you more fragile, you know?

02:36:23.000 Yeah, I mean, your body's just not designed for that.

02:36:26.000 Brennan did an x-ray of his face, and he has microfractures all through his face.

02:36:30.000 Oh my god.

02:36:31.000 And the doctor said it's very common with fighters and football players.

02:36:34.000 Jesus Christ.

02:36:35.000 Yeah, just micro, just cracks all through your mask.

02:36:37.000 Oh my god, of course.

02:36:39.000 Yeah.

02:36:39.000 You think about Brennan sparring Shane Carwin all the time, just getting mugged.

02:36:42.000 How about getting punched full on and having his nose shattered by Crow Cop? 1.00

02:36:47.000 It was an elbow, in fact.

02:36:48.000 Yeah.

02:36:48.000 And still coming back.

02:36:50.000 Blam! 0.78

02:36:51.000 Yeah.

02:36:52.000 Took some good shots from Big Country before he got hit behind the ear.

02:36:56.000 Yeah.

02:36:57.000 If you watch that fight, boom!

02:36:58.000 Ben Rothwell KO'd him.

02:37:00.000 Boom! 0.99

02:37:01.000 Big Ben.

02:37:03.000 He's another guy.

02:37:04.000 What happened with him?

02:37:05.000 He got caught with something, right?

02:37:06.000 Yeah.

02:37:09.000 Askren does not have a twin brother.

02:37:10.000 I know it's got a brother.

02:37:12.000 Oh, there it is.

02:37:13.000 There you go.

02:37:14.000 Askren brothers. 0.96

02:37:15.000 I think one of the things that I mean when you're talking about in These the fucking athletes that we're dealing with today, you know, you're talking with like what they're experiencing I think with medical science I bet like in 50, 0.99

02:37:31.000 60 years, we're gonna be looking back and they're gonna be going, God damn, man, these people couldn't even take blah blah blah to fix their problem. 0.99

02:37:38.000 They couldn't even go to the blah blah blah machine to fix their brain. 1.00

02:37:42.000 They just had to have bad brains.

02:37:43.000 Remember what Robert Sapolsky said in your podcast, last thing he said, I thought it was amazing.

02:37:47.000 He says, we learn more, what do you think is gonna happen?

02:37:50.000 In like 20, 30, 40 years, we're going to go, my God, look at the way we treated people who killed and who did things that were impulsive. 0.98

02:37:57.000 Their brains were just fucked up, and we didn't know how to fix them. 0.97

02:38:01.000 Well, not just that. 1.00

02:38:02.000 He was not just talking about their brains being fucked up. 0.99

02:38:06.000 He was saying that the idea of free will is a ridiculous concept that's ingrained in the psyche of the American people in particular. 1.00

02:38:13.000 Well, it's a Christian idea. 0.98

02:38:14.000 Yeah, but it's also that you, as a scientist, the way he looks at things, I mean, he's boiling things down to the fucking, the very atomic level.

02:38:22.000 And he's essentially saying that your behavior has been determined by your environment, by your genes, by the experiences that you've had, by all the things that you've learned. 0.55

02:38:32.000 Your prefrontal cortex may not be developed because you grew up poor and under a lot of stress.

02:38:36.000 Yes.

02:38:37.000 Yes, yes.

02:38:37.000 So you make impulsive decisions.

02:38:39.000 Lack of nutrition.

02:38:40.000 The guy who kidnapped that girl I was talking about, the young girl had two kids with her when she was 13 for 18 years.

02:38:46.000 His father said that he had a motorcycle accident.

02:38:49.000 He was a normal kid, and then he had a motorcycle accident.

02:38:51.000 He was never the same.

02:38:52.000 His whole personality changed.

02:38:54.000 That's the Kinnison story.

02:38:55.000 Kinnison got hit by a truck.

02:38:57.000 Oh, wow.

02:38:57.000 Kinnison was one kid.

02:38:59.000 Sam Kinnison got hit by a truck, and then he's like, oh, oh!

02:39:02.000 Woo! 0.99

02:39:03.000 Fucking yeah! 0.99

02:39:05.000 Wow. 1.00

02:39:05.000 Fat gut kicking over fucking bar stools. 1.00

02:39:07.000 Do you know what else changes your personality they say sometimes, which is fascinating? 1.00

02:39:09.000 Jerking off in your own mouth. 0.99

02:39:11.000 Almost. 1.00

02:39:12.000 Almost.

02:39:13.000 That would be traumatic.

02:39:14.000 I heard that changes your personality.

02:39:15.000 That would be traumatic.

02:39:15.000 For a little bit it does until you end up liking it.

02:39:18.000 But here's what really changes.

02:39:20.000 You're having a heart operation.

02:39:22.000 Oh, that makes sense.

02:39:23.000 That's so weird though.

02:39:25.000 You can have an operation on your heart and it changes your whole personality.

02:39:28.000 Well, there's one thing about that, that Dr. Mark Gordon, you know Mark Gordon, he actually did a paper on post-traumatic surgeries, like open-heart surgeries, and the effect it has on depression and perhaps suppression of your body's ability to produce hormones.

02:39:49.000 There you go.

02:39:49.000 There's something about being under anesthesia for long periods of time with very complicated operations that leaves people uniquely depressed afterwards.

02:39:57.000 Wow.

02:39:58.000 Yeah, and he was telling me about this after the whole Robin Williams things happened, because Robin Williams got sick, he had a heart condition, he had heart surgery, and then he eventually wound up committing suicide.

02:40:10.000 And he's like, I'm not saying it's the reason why Robin Williams did that, but there is absolutely some connection between this compromised hormonal system and depression, and between a compromised hormonal system and long operations while under anesthesia.

02:40:27.000 And I was like, wow.

02:40:28.000 Haven't you had a lot of guys on about the gut biome?

02:40:31.000 Oh yeah.

02:40:31.000 And how that affects your mood?

02:40:33.000 Dude, from having people on, from having Chris Kresser on the last time he was on, I changed, I'm eating like four cans of kimchi a week.

02:40:40.000 Oh really? 0.96

02:40:41.000 Big ass cans, man. 0.98

02:40:42.000 I'm eating fermented cabbage. 1.00

02:40:44.000 Of course, because you're an extremist.

02:40:45.000 Do you have to eat that much? 1.00

02:40:46.000 Crazy! 0.88

02:40:47.000 I know, but listen to me. 0.62

02:40:48.000 Look at me right now. 1.00

02:40:49.000 Just because fucking kimchi is good for you doesn't mean you have to eat that much, bro. 1.00

02:40:55.000 I eat it all the time, dude. 1.00

02:40:56.000 You're the extreme.

02:40:58.000 Can you have a little bit like the way the Koreans do? 1.00

02:41:00.000 I feel pretty good. 1.00

02:41:01.000 I know, but fucking the guy. 0.99

02:41:02.000 I think it's working. 1.00

02:41:03.000 He gets a piece of information and he'll just eat like a fucking... 1.00

02:41:06.000 Run with it. 1.00

02:41:06.000 I'm eating bowls of kimchi. 1.00

02:41:07.000 I play this video game for 15 hours.

02:41:09.000 I fainted.

02:41:10.000 I fainted.

02:41:11.000 I never do that.

02:41:12.000 But I have bone broth and kimchi for breakfast.

02:41:13.000 Of course you do.

02:41:14.000 Of course you do.

02:41:14.000 And I put habanero sauce in the bone broth.

02:41:16.000 What a surprise.

02:41:17.000 I sweat.

02:41:18.000 Beads of sweat coming off my bald head.

02:41:20.000 It's pouring down.

02:41:21.000 And I'm eating spicy kimchi and I'm drinking spicy bone broth. 0.97

02:41:25.000 You're an extremist. 0.95

02:41:26.000 Yeah.

02:41:26.000 Good.

02:41:29.000 He wants to live forever.

02:41:31.000 No, no, no, no.

02:41:31.000 He's in love with immortality, I told you.

02:41:33.000 No, no, it's not immortality. 0.99

02:41:34.000 It's just right now, until the lights go off, this motherfucker's going good. 1.00

02:41:39.000 I'm going to be dead someday, so here we go. 0.99

02:41:41.000 This engine is purring.

02:41:42.000 I'm cornering.

02:41:44.000 Everything's good.

02:41:44.000 Listen, man, if you think I didn't have a long conversation with Mr. Justin Dees, who is Phil Heath's trainer, was, and he's a Mr. Olympia guy.

02:41:53.000 He trains all those guys.

02:41:54.000 I talked to him for a long...

02:41:55.000 I cut to the chase.

02:41:56.000 I go, Phil, listen to me.

02:41:57.000 I mean Justin, not Phil.

02:41:58.000 Justin Dees.

02:41:59.000 I go, Justin, right now, came to my show on Salt Lake.

02:42:01.000 I go, and his beautiful wife, Heather Dees, is number four in the Olympia. 0.99

02:42:07.000 She'd kill you? 0.99

02:42:08.000 She looks amazing. 0.99

02:42:09.000 And I went, hey, bro, let's cut to the chase.

02:42:12.000 You know everything about nutrition and everything about weightlifting.

02:42:14.000 There's no doubt about how to build muscle. 1.00

02:42:16.000 He's a fucking genius. 0.99

02:42:17.000 Talk to me about TRT, because I'm 50, and it's getting to a point where I'm going to have to start shooting myself up. 1.00

02:42:23.000 We had a long talk.

02:42:25.000 Don't worry about it.

02:42:26.000 The point is, I'll be seeing a doctor.

02:42:28.000 Fairly soon.

02:42:29.000 Wow, look at her. 0.97

02:42:29.000 Do you guys see me really muscular? 0.97

02:42:31.000 Can you handle that?

02:42:31.000 No.

02:42:32.000 Let me say no.

02:42:32.000 You don't bench enough for her.

02:42:33.000 I'm not afraid.

02:42:34.000 You don't bench enough.

02:42:35.000 First of all, she's got a boyfriend or other.

02:42:37.000 She's got a husband. 1.00

02:42:38.000 Yeah, so I wouldn't even talk about it.

02:42:39.000 Giant man.

02:42:40.000 He's a very thick man.

02:42:42.000 Drop it.

02:42:42.000 Just drop it, Callan.

02:42:43.000 Have some respect.

02:42:44.000 Sorry, man. 1.00

02:42:45.000 Jamie's pulling up pictures of her ass! 1.00

02:42:47.000 Hey bro, I wasn't looking. 1.00

02:42:48.000 I was just looking at her back.

02:42:49.000 She's being judged on it.

02:42:50.000 I'm looking at her back.

02:42:51.000 Whatever, bro.

02:42:52.000 I'm looking at her back.

02:42:53.000 Just because someone else buys slaves doesn't mean you have to. 1.00

02:42:57.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

02:42:57.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

02:42:58.000 Probably into orcas too, being in pools. 1.00

02:43:00.000 This, what we just highlighted, is the real problem with the social justice warrior movement, is they eat their own to try to take away any sort of blame on themselves.

02:43:08.000 I just think the left, the illiberal left, has lost their sense of humor.

02:43:12.000 You can't even be funny.

02:43:13.000 You can't say anything.

02:43:13.000 I predict that this is the inevitable demise of a vast majority of the colleges in this country.

02:43:21.000 I agree.

02:43:21.000 And that people are eventually going to learn how to form communities and learn online.

02:43:27.000 Why?

02:43:28.000 You know Jonathan Haidt?

02:43:29.000 He's creating the Heterodox Academy.

02:43:31.000 You know about this?

02:43:32.000 No.

02:43:33.000 Sounds like a scam.

02:43:36.000 Jonathan Haidt, I can't believe you haven't had him on this podcast.

02:43:38.000 He's a giant.

02:43:39.000 He wrote The Happiness Hypothesis.

02:43:40.000 Will he fit in this room?

02:43:41.000 Yes.

02:43:42.000 His brain might not, though. 0.99

02:43:44.000 And he basically is at Columbia University, and he was like, this place, you got fucking students that can report you blindly, and you get called up in front of a whatever. 0.99

02:43:53.000 For cultural appropriation. 0.97

02:43:55.000 It's 17 to 1 usually, like 17 hardcore liberal sort of leftists and one conservative to these colleges like Brown and Columbia.

02:44:04.000 And he said this is orthodox thinking.

02:44:06.000 It's so bad that they've created safe spaces where you're not even allowed to hear the other side because it might be violent.

02:44:12.000 It's important.

02:44:12.000 It might be too much.

02:44:14.000 What's his name?

02:44:15.000 Jonathan Haidt.

02:44:16.000 H-A-I-D-T. You have to have him on.

02:44:20.000 There he is.

02:44:20.000 He's a genius and he's awesome in every way.

02:44:25.000 And he's so important as a thinker.

02:44:27.000 He's one of the more influential thinkers in the past 30 years.

02:44:32.000 Yes.

02:44:33.000 Basically proving that intuition and that your feelings control so much of your thinking. 1.00

02:44:38.000 He's a fucking genius. 0.99

02:44:39.000 A social scientist. 0.99

02:44:41.000 Anyway, that's my shout out to Jonathan Haidt.

02:44:43.000 I'm glad I had a chance to talk about him.

02:44:45.000 Powerful shout out to Jonathan Haidt.

02:44:47.000 Yeah.

02:44:47.000 But he created the Heterodox Academy.

02:44:49.000 He's like, this orthodox thinking... 0.99

02:44:52.000 Is fucking, you know, is not good for anybody. 0.99

02:44:55.000 It's, again, what we talked about earlier. 0.99

02:44:57.000 It's people being tribal. 0.63

02:44:59.000 IDSX. We need IDSX. Do you remember that thing at University of Missouri where that woman, that guy was an Asian young student photographer, and this woman came over and she was yelling at him to stop taking photographs because they had created a safe space?

02:45:15.000 Ah.

02:45:15.000 And then she said, can I get some muscle over here to take this photographer out?

02:45:18.000 He's like, this is like the First Amendment.

02:45:20.000 He's like, I need freedom of speech, freedom of the press.

02:45:23.000 I'm taking photographs.

02:45:25.000 There's an event that's happening on public property here.

02:45:28.000 I'm a part of the school.

02:45:29.000 I'm being hired to do this.

02:45:31.000 Because she's infantilizing them. 1.00

02:45:33.000 She's a woman. 0.82

02:45:34.000 She's protecting them.

02:45:35.000 She's not even a child.

02:45:36.000 It's her child.

02:45:37.000 She's a professor in training.

02:45:39.000 Yeah, because anybody who disagrees, look at her. 0.70

02:45:42.000 She looks like a fanatic.

02:45:44.000 You need to get out.

02:45:46.000 I actually don't.

02:45:47.000 All right.

02:45:47.000 Hey, who wants to help me get this reporter out of here?

02:45:51.000 I need some muscle over here.

02:45:53.000 So crazy. 0.99

02:45:55.000 She's not very smart. 0.99

02:45:56.000 Well, she got caught up in the moment.

02:45:58.000 Yeah.

02:45:59.000 You know, I mean, that's really what it is more than anything.

02:46:01.000 She probably thought she could get away with doing that. 1.00

02:46:03.000 She didn't realize how crazy it would seem on camera saying, I've got some, I need to get some muscle over here to get a reporter out. 0.71

02:46:10.000 So she's thinking the same way those that are intolerant are thinking, right?

02:46:14.000 She's the same methodology.

02:46:15.000 Her brain works the same way.

02:46:17.000 You're in the way.

02:46:18.000 I'm going to get you out of the way.

02:46:19.000 ISIS goes, you're not a believer.

02:46:21.000 No point in trying to convert you. 1.00

02:46:22.000 I'm going to shoot your head off because it's the same mentality. 1.00

02:46:26.000 You're totally right. 1.00

02:46:27.000 You're totally right.

02:46:28.000 Same methodology.

02:46:29.000 Yeah, and it's also like she's in a heightened state, right?

02:46:32.000 She's in a combat state.

02:46:34.000 She's immediately argumentative.

02:46:35.000 The guy's got a camera on her. 0.94

02:46:36.000 Because anybody who disagrees with her is rooted in evil and falsehood.

02:46:40.000 The enemy. 1.00

02:46:41.000 You're racist, sexist, xenophobic, transphobic. 1.00

02:46:43.000 And when you hit somebody with racism, and you go, you're racist or sexist, what you do is you shut down the whole debate. 0.98

02:46:48.000 Because you're just labeled this very complex human being with all kinds of emotions. 0.99

02:46:52.000 Some days I'm having a moment I fucking hate everybody. 0.96

02:46:55.000 Other days I love everybody. 1.00

02:46:56.000 Well, if you hate everybody, then you hate black people, then you're racist. 1.00

02:46:58.000 I hate them all. 1.00

02:46:59.000 But if I'm listening to Andrew Day, if I'm listening to Andrew Day, I care about terrorists and their mothers and everything. 0.98

02:47:05.000 It depends.

02:47:05.000 We all have moments.

02:47:06.000 But when you brand somebody, what we do is we go, you're a racist. 0.97

02:47:09.000 You said one thing, so you're a racist. 0.90

02:47:11.000 Now, I'm going to inflate that. 1.00

02:47:12.000 I'm going to blow that up like a big balloon and fucking strap it to your face and you are out of the conversation, bro. 1.00

02:47:18.000 Forever. 1.00

02:47:18.000 You're done. 1.00

02:47:18.000 Forever, bro. 1.00

02:47:19.000 Because you're my competition.

02:47:20.000 That's right.

02:47:21.000 That's right.

02:47:22.000 And your ideas, your ideas might be threatening to me.

02:47:26.000 More important, they're actually, they create violence towards me.

02:47:29.000 Therefore, I need to save space.

02:47:31.000 Oh, and by the way, I have all the answers.

02:47:32.000 My side is rooted in the truth and love.

02:47:34.000 Plus, crabs in a bucket. 1.00

02:47:36.000 Trying to push those other crabs down so I can make my way to the tippity-tippity top. 0.79

02:47:40.000 I love crab metaphors, goddammit! 0.97

02:47:42.000 Best way to do it is to call other people racist. 0.98

02:47:45.000 That's it.

02:47:45.000 And everybody's like, what?

02:47:46.000 Me?

02:47:46.000 What?

02:47:47.000 What?

02:47:47.000 You immediately get people on their heel.

02:47:48.000 What?

02:47:49.000 And we're not racist.

02:47:51.000 What?

02:47:51.000 Yep.

02:47:52.000 What?

02:47:52.000 You sexist?

02:47:53.000 Me?

02:47:56.000 What did I say?

02:47:58.000 We're not racist or sexist, we're tribal.

02:48:00.000 You think there's a biological basis to sex and that is patriarchal in and of itself.

02:48:07.000 There's no biological basis for sex.

02:48:11.000 Not hormones, not XY chromosomes, not a uterus. 0.84

02:48:13.000 People are saying that unironically in 2017. I know.

02:48:17.000 They're saying it on a regular basis.

02:48:19.000 Really?

02:48:20.000 Yep.

02:48:21.000 It's one of the Jordan Peterson discussions that he had with some...

02:48:24.000 I don't know if it was a man who became a woman or a woman who became a man, but she was a professor. 0.99

02:48:29.000 Oh, I saw...

02:48:29.000 A professor of medicine?

02:48:30.000 No, professor at the University of Toronto. 0.99

02:48:32.000 A professor in, like, transgender studies or some shit. 0.99

02:48:35.000 Oh, I saw the debate. 1.00

02:48:35.000 Yeah, it was... 1.00

02:48:37.000 Hilarious debate.

02:48:38.000 I know.

02:48:38.000 She's saying there's no sexual or bio...

02:48:41.000 She said there's no difference between...

02:48:42.000 It's a very popular misconception to think that there is a difference between male and female.

02:48:46.000 It doesn't exist.

02:48:47.000 There was no biological basis for gender.

02:48:51.000 Like, but?

02:48:52.000 Okay.

02:48:53.000 But?

02:48:54.000 If you go to the puppy store and you say, I want a boy puppy, and they give you a girl puppy, what do you say? 0.95

02:49:02.000 You say, well, there's no biological basis for gender.

02:49:06.000 How about the power lifter?

02:49:06.000 The power lifter that became a woman and was a competitive power lifter as a man.

02:49:11.000 Let me stop you right there because she is a woman. 1.00

02:49:13.000 She's always been a woman. 1.00

02:49:14.000 Sorry. 1.00

02:49:14.000 Don't be a piece of shit. 1.00

02:49:15.000 No, she's a woman now. 1.00

02:49:16.000 No, no, no.

02:49:17.000 She's always been a woman. 1.00

02:49:18.000 Just now she gets to express herself in the most unique way.

02:49:20.000 I see.

02:49:21.000 Not unique. 0.99

02:49:22.000 So before when she was, even though she had an XY chromosome on her dick and she was competing in men's division, she was still a woman? 0.99

02:49:28.000 This is so transphobic. 1.00

02:49:29.000 I can barely handle this.

02:49:31.000 I just asked a question, man!

02:49:32.000 She is her authentic self. 1.00

02:49:34.000 Do you get a lot of shit for your, when you talk this way from- Only by people that are retarded. 1.00

02:49:39.000 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

02:49:41.000 I feel like most transgender people would be very reasonable and not be. 1.00

02:49:45.000 I had a bunch of transgender people come to see me at the Ice House the other day.

02:49:48.000 They all gave me hugs.

02:49:48.000 They were super sweet.

02:49:49.000 I love that.

02:49:50.000 They said, the trans community loves you.

02:49:51.000 I go, I love you guys.

02:49:52.000 There's a lot of trans people, by the way, that were upset at the whole Bruce Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner fiasco.

02:49:58.000 They're like, look, this is not who we are.

02:50:00.000 You just want more attention.

02:50:02.000 Hey, hey, you're a Kardashian.

02:50:04.000 Exactly. 0.74

02:50:04.000 Big old male Kardashian became a chick. 0.74

02:50:07.000 Settle down.

02:50:07.000 You know, there's a lot of people that felt sort of like, also when they found out that Bruce Jenner then became Caitlyn Jenner and then after that didn't believe in gay marriage.

02:50:18.000 Okay! 0.99

02:50:19.000 So fucking weird. 1.00

02:50:22.000 Maybe you're just crazy. 1.00

02:50:24.000 You can be a boy who wants to be a girl, or a girl who wants to be a boy, but it doesn't mean you're smart. 1.00

02:50:29.000 It doesn't mean you're smart.

02:50:30.000 And that's a problem.

02:50:31.000 That's a problem.

02:50:32.000 And if you're an intelligent person who's in the transgender community, you don't want that as your ultimate representation. 1.00

02:50:38.000 You just don't.

02:50:39.000 You don't want someone who's got that much of a contradiction where they...

02:50:41.000 And they asked him about it.

02:50:42.000 One of the most crazy things he said is like, well, I've always been a traditionalist.

02:50:46.000 Like, what?

02:50:47.000 What?

02:50:48.000 You're not traditionalist.

02:50:49.000 You're a man who became a woman. 0.92

02:50:51.000 That's not traditional.

02:50:52.000 You don't believe in gay marriage. 1.00

02:50:54.000 That's even dumber. 1.00

02:50:55.000 Because what you're talking about, you're changing biology. 1.00

02:50:58.000 And you're saying that some man-made bullshit fucking thing called marriage. 0.99

02:51:02.000 That guys shouldn't be able to do it if they love each other, but you should be able to be a girl. 1.00

02:51:06.000 Right. 1.00

02:51:06.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:51:08.000 That makes me angry. 1.00

02:51:09.000 It's so weird.

02:51:09.000 You're making me angry.

02:51:10.000 It's so bizarre.

02:51:12.000 I end up rubbing my eyes because I don't know how to respond to insanity.

02:51:15.000 It's the only time I've ever seen Ellen go after somebody.

02:51:18.000 Really?

02:51:18.000 Ellen had Caitlyn Jenner on her show and she actually went after her.

02:51:22.000 And notice how I said her.

02:51:24.000 I'm not misgendering because I'm a good person.

02:51:25.000 Yeah, you are.

02:51:26.000 I'll vote Democrat if it works.

02:51:29.000 Strange.

02:51:31.000 Remember I said that on the podcast? 1.00

02:51:32.000 You were like, bullshit. 0.99

02:51:33.000 I was like, I'd heard it. 1.00

02:51:35.000 Yeah, you called it way before anybody knew.

02:51:38.000 I just heard it.

02:51:38.000 That's because I heard it from a reliable source.

02:51:40.000 And you called it, like, I want to say a year and a half early.

02:51:44.000 Yes.

02:51:45.000 Yeah.

02:51:45.000 Yes, because I knew he was already starting to feminize, feminize his looks.

02:51:50.000 Also, his kids go to a school and he would show up in bracelets and they were like, what's going on?

02:51:56.000 His hair would be in a barrette.

02:51:58.000 Dude, you and I need to get press credentials.

02:52:00.000 What is this?

02:52:00.000 Feminism site Medusa Magazine shuts down after founder admits it was pure satire.

02:52:08.000 No way!

02:52:10.000 Oh my god.

02:52:11.000 Oh my god.

02:52:13.000 Don't gender your pets. 1.00

02:52:14.000 It was pure satire the whole time.

02:52:17.000 Oh, you beautiful people.

02:52:19.000 Thank you.

02:52:19.000 I'm going to tweet that as soon as this podcast is over.

02:52:22.000 You guys are beautiful.

02:52:23.000 Thank you for being you.

02:52:25.000 Thank you for fighting the good fight.

02:52:26.000 Resist.

02:52:27.000 That's the real resist.

02:52:28.000 Keith Olbermann, I get what you're doing, but the real resist is to fight the nonsense.

02:52:33.000 Fight the nonsense with humor.

02:52:34.000 You know what Michelangelo said in my favorite quote?

02:52:37.000 Criticized by creating.

02:52:38.000 I got a new show for you and me.

02:52:40.000 What?

02:52:40.000 You and me.

02:52:41.000 Yeah.

02:52:41.000 We go to places.

02:52:42.000 We get high as fuck. 1.00

02:52:43.000 Okay. 1.00

02:52:43.000 We become journalists. 1.00

02:52:44.000 We get high as fuck. 0.99

02:52:45.000 But then I don't say anything. 1.00

02:52:46.000 I forget everything.

02:52:47.000 No, no, no.

02:52:47.000 You're doing it just like this.

02:52:48.000 Okay, you don't get high as fuck. 1.00

02:52:49.000 I get high as fuck. 1.00

02:52:50.000 You take one hit. 1.00

02:52:51.000 Okay, I take one hit.

02:52:52.000 We go to places as journalists and we interview people.

02:52:55.000 Whether it's we go to like a Republican correspondence dinner or a Democratic convention.

02:53:00.000 We go and just you and I. Okay.

02:53:03.000 But drunk and high.

02:53:05.000 And we interview these people and we mock this whole thing.

02:53:08.000 We get a view of like how crazy the frenzy is the center of the hive.

02:53:12.000 For control of the queen! 1.00

02:53:14.000 Watch those fucking crazy assholes. 1.00

02:53:16.000 We call it the center of the hive. 1.00

02:53:18.000 Freak party worldwide.

02:53:20.000 That's what we call it.

02:53:20.000 Freak party.

02:53:21.000 Freak party worldwide.

02:53:22.000 We're not Democrats.

02:53:23.000 We're not Republicans.

02:53:24.000 Freak party worldwide.

02:53:25.000 Freak party worldwide.

02:53:26.000 I'm in.

02:53:26.000 And we go.

02:53:27.000 I'm in.

02:53:28.000 I'm dead serious about this.

02:53:30.000 I say we get Netflix to do this.

02:53:32.000 Alright. 0.99

02:53:32.000 And we just fucking travel. 0.99

02:53:34.000 I'll do it in a heartbeat. 0.99

02:53:34.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:53:35.000 We get one dude to film us that can keep his mouth shut.

02:53:37.000 And we...

02:53:39.000 Well, we never see each other.

02:53:40.000 I always complain about it on the podcast.

02:53:41.000 I'm like, I never see Rogan.

02:53:42.000 So let's do it.

02:53:42.000 I sulk about it.

02:53:43.000 I'm like, ah, he's hunting without me.

02:53:45.000 I know, I say it too.

02:53:45.000 I say it too.

02:53:46.000 Well, I got obsessed with hunting.

02:53:48.000 We're supposed to.

02:53:48.000 I know, but you're boy hunting.

02:53:51.000 I have a fucking bow, bro. 1.00

02:53:52.000 I know. 0.99

02:53:53.000 I've got a problem, though.

02:53:54.000 I've got a hunting problem.

02:53:55.000 No, no, no.

02:53:55.000 Oh, really?

02:53:56.000 Kimchi and fucking hunting. 1.00

02:53:57.000 You mean you're an extreme with both? 1.00

02:53:59.000 Yep.

02:53:59.000 I've never seen that before from you.

02:54:00.000 No, well, this is, you know, I'm out there every day shooting out a rubber deer. 0.99

02:54:04.000 Are you?

02:54:05.000 Yeah.

02:54:06.000 Yeah, it's a real problem.

02:54:09.000 I got golf elbow.

02:54:11.000 You're the greatest in my arm from pulling my bow back too much.

02:54:15.000 Yeah, I get stem cell shots.

02:54:16.000 Yeah, I'm going crazy.

02:54:18.000 I had a good time, though. 0.96

02:54:19.000 Fucking wonderful time. 1.00

02:54:21.000 I do that with fucking boxing. 0.99

02:54:22.000 Sean gets mad at me for sparring, but I just love it so much. 1.00

02:54:25.000 Let it ride, bitch. 1.00

02:54:26.000 Let it ride. 1.00

02:54:27.000 I'm with you.

02:54:28.000 Let it ride.

02:54:28.000 Yeah.

02:54:29.000 Did you see that where Luke Rockhold punched me in the fucking nose? 0.99

02:54:32.000 Yeah, don't let him do that. 0.99

02:54:33.000 And then I had to go get makeup.

02:54:35.000 What?

02:54:36.000 Dude, my nose was so black and blue. 0.99

02:54:38.000 I'm at the fucking San Jose Improv. 0.99

02:54:40.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

02:54:40.000 I gotta take pictures of it. 0.99

02:54:42.000 This is ridiculous. 0.76

02:54:43.000 I couldn't cover it. 0.97

02:54:44.000 It was black and blue.

02:54:45.000 Why'd you let him punch you?

02:54:46.000 I didn't.

02:54:47.000 It wasn't like, hey, Luke.

02:54:48.000 Obviously, he threw me headgear, and I go, hey, Luke, listen to me right now.

02:54:51.000 I'm a gazelle right now, and there are a bunch of lions out there. 0.97

02:54:53.000 Let those people know, like all those guys training, that I'm a bitch, that I'm an actor at 50, and I dance around a gym. 0.99

02:55:02.000 How bad did it hit you? 0.97

02:55:03.000 I spar because I do it with people who are an athletic.

02:55:06.000 Yeah, but it was way worse than that.

02:55:08.000 What's that?

02:55:09.000 What did he hit you with? 1.00

02:55:10.000 He punched me with his fucking glove right in the nose. 1.00

02:55:12.000 That's when it was... 1.00

02:55:13.000 It wasn't even...

02:55:14.000 It got purple, okay? 1.00

02:55:15.000 Yeah, but why do you think it's cute to fight professionals, dumbass? 0.98

02:55:18.000 Well, first of all, I didn't want to. 0.99

02:55:19.000 I thought I was going to hit mitts.

02:55:20.000 And he throws me headgear, and I go, I don't want to do this.

02:55:23.000 And Daniel Cormier goes, I got him first!

02:55:25.000 And Cormier double-legs me.

02:55:27.000 And look at that. 1.00

02:55:28.000 Look at that stupid nose I've got to take pictures with. 1.00

02:55:31.000 It was ridiculous. 1.00

02:55:32.000 It didn't work. 0.71

02:55:32.000 You should just stick to just straight boxing where you could school them with your skills. 0.71

02:55:36.000 Oh yeah, you know me. 0.97

02:55:37.000 I'll fucking slip those jabs. 0.99

02:55:40.000 That's one of the worst things. 0.99

02:55:42.000 Why don't you get involved in jiu-jitsu?

02:55:43.000 That way you don't have to get hit.

02:55:44.000 I'm going to.

02:55:45.000 I miss wrestling.

02:55:46.000 I miss mat work.

02:55:47.000 I really do.

02:55:48.000 When you first started doing jiu-jitsu, way back when we were at Carlson Gracie's place, you took to it right away.

02:55:53.000 Yeah, because I was a wrestler.

02:55:54.000 And it was like, oh, this is fun.

02:55:56.000 I trained with Hensou for a year.

02:55:57.000 I love Jiu Jitsu.

02:55:58.000 I love it, love it.

02:55:59.000 I like boxing, though.

02:56:00.000 I really like...

02:56:02.000 It's fun.

02:56:02.000 It's such a challenge to me.

02:56:05.000 Obviously, Jiu Jitsu is a whole world, and it's really difficult, but there's something about boxing at my age I guess I like because it's...

02:56:13.000 I guess it's just such a mystery.

02:56:15.000 It's such a mystery to me.

02:56:16.000 Yeah, well, you're learning a skill and...

02:56:18.000 Patterns.

02:56:18.000 Yeah, and on top of that, you're also working out.

02:56:21.000 Yes.

02:56:21.000 That's one of the fun things.

02:56:22.000 If you can find a sport, like here's a good one, soccer. 0.99

02:56:25.000 If you play soccer, you're going to fucking run around a lot. 0.99

02:56:28.000 A lot. 1.00

02:56:29.000 But you're also going to fuck your knees up. 1.00

02:56:30.000 You're going to fuck your knees up. 1.00

02:56:31.000 And I'm too old. 0.99

02:56:31.000 But boxing, actually, you stay pretty injury-free, believe it or not. 0.99

02:56:34.000 Except your brain.

02:56:35.000 Yeah, but you wear headgear.

02:56:37.000 You don't go crazy on each other. 0.98

02:56:39.000 I'm not fucking fighting. 0.99

02:56:40.000 You know where you get hurt? 0.99

02:56:41.000 When you spar dudes who don't box, and they swing for the fences, and they catch you.

02:56:46.000 If you fight dudes that are really good, like I'll spar sometimes.

02:56:49.000 The great Wayne McCulloch, I'll spar with him sometimes.

02:56:52.000 I'll get in there.

02:56:53.000 Wayne at 44 is going to do whatever he wants, even though he's 135 pounds.

02:56:59.000 But we're moving around.

02:57:01.000 He'll hit me, but he's not going crazy.

02:57:03.000 Exactly, exactly.

02:57:04.000 That's the best in jiu-jitsu, too.

02:57:06.000 You get less hurt when you spar with someone who's really good.

02:57:08.000 Correct.

02:57:08.000 You don't win.

02:57:09.000 No.

02:57:09.000 You're gonna get tapped a lot, but you won't get hurt.

02:57:11.000 He'll just control you.

02:57:12.000 And you learn patterns, and then pretty soon you learn these patterns, you start practicing, then you go against a guy who doesn't box a lot, and you look good.

02:57:21.000 Like you know what you're doing. 0.99

02:57:22.000 Yeah, and he goes, dude, you've been doing it a long time, and you're like, yeah, I'm fucking nothing. 0.97

02:57:25.000 Yeah, right. 0.90

02:57:25.000 I look good. 0.90

02:57:28.000 You see my left.

02:57:29.000 What's funny is anybody can learn how to hit mitts.

02:57:31.000 It's where you're punching from.

02:57:33.000 How are you setting that up?

02:57:35.000 And how are you not getting hit?

02:57:36.000 Yeah, and what happens when you get hit to the body?

02:57:38.000 Dude, that's the worst. 0.99

02:57:44.000 That is the fucking worst. 0.99

02:57:46.000 That's why kickboxing is so much more terrifying. 0.99

02:57:48.000 And Muay Thai, you watch dudes getting kneed in the body.

02:57:51.000 No thanks.

02:57:52.000 I was watching John Wayne Parr's, he had a video up on his Instagram of him fighting when he was 17. God.

02:57:59.000 The first title that he won.

02:58:00.000 John Wayne Parr's like 44. No, John Wayne Parr's my boyfriend.

02:58:03.000 He's 40 now, I think.

02:58:05.000 41. He's 41. And still going after it.

02:58:09.000 But watching a video of him from when he was 17 years old, kneeing some dude in the body, he's like, Punches and knees.

02:58:17.000 I don't have time to condition my shins.

02:58:19.000 This is him.

02:58:20.000 17, man.

02:58:21.000 Isn't that crazy?

02:58:23.000 1993. John Wayne Parr.

02:58:25.000 Crazy. 0.99

02:58:26.000 Look at those knees and the body, son. 0.99

02:58:29.000 Is that him in the red?

02:58:30.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:58:31.000 John Wayne Parr's a fucking savage. 1.00

02:58:33.000 Boom, boom, boom. 1.00

02:58:34.000 He's a real fighter, man.

02:58:35.000 Yeah, it's a crazy way to express yourself, you know, but you really get to see a person's character in a fight.

02:58:41.000 100%.

02:58:42.000 That's the thing that makes it so crazy.

02:58:44.000 100%.

02:58:45.000 It's this wild melee of bones and flesh, and you get to see how bright your star shines.

02:58:53.000 It's also really awesome to learn defense and learn how to get out of the way.

02:58:56.000 Learn how to block.

02:58:57.000 Keep your eyes open when somebody's kicking and stuff.

02:58:58.000 Yeah.

02:58:59.000 Problem solving.

02:59:00.000 How to figure out what to do when.

02:59:02.000 Yeah.

02:59:02.000 When the issues are.

02:59:03.000 Oh, boom.

02:59:04.000 That's it.

02:59:05.000 By the way, I shouldn't, but just so everybody knows, I didn't spar with Luke Rockhold and Daniel Cameron.

02:59:10.000 He just punched you in the face.

02:59:11.000 I got to move around and they were really nice to me and they moved me around at will.

02:59:17.000 So let's not, I hate when people like me say I sparred with so-and-so.

02:59:21.000 No, you didn't spar.

02:59:22.000 You didn't spar with them. 0.99

02:59:23.000 Because they beat the fuck out of you. 1.00

02:59:24.000 The fucking, yes. 1.00

02:59:25.000 You moved around with them and they were being cool and you got to throw some shit and do some stuff that you've learned and giggle. 1.00

02:59:31.000 Yeah, relax. 0.98

02:59:32.000 Yeah.

02:59:33.000 If I had opened up with my Taekwondo, they'd be some...

02:59:36.000 Yeah.

02:59:36.000 What if you did like one of them Bruce Lee moves?

02:59:38.000 Dude, my wheel kick? 1.00

02:59:39.000 You want no fucking part of that shit. 1.00

02:59:40.000 I've seen it, dude. 1.00

02:59:41.000 I've seen it like, sort of like when that...

02:59:43.000 Not in the air, you haven't! 0.99

02:59:44.000 Not in the fucking air! 0.99

02:59:46.000 You know, Ty Cobb could read the letters on the... 1.00

02:59:48.000 I could see your kick coming a mile away, bitch. 1.00

02:59:50.000 You could read... 1.00

02:59:51.000 You could read...

02:59:51.000 You could read my...

02:59:53.000 The label on my underwear.

02:59:56.000 Well, Brian Callen, it's 5 p.m. 0.99

02:59:58.000 I say we wrap this bitch up. 1.00

02:59:59.000 This was a pleasure, my brother. 0.99

03:00:01.000 We need to do this more often.

03:00:02.000 I love you.

03:00:02.000 I know we've said this before.

03:00:03.000 I miss you.

03:00:03.000 I don't see you enough.

03:00:05.000 It hurts my feelings.

03:00:06.000 My feelings are a little hurt.

03:00:07.000 Hey, we're hanging out in a couple hours.

03:00:08.000 We're going to be in the comedy store tonight.

03:00:09.000 For the record, my feelings are hurt.

03:00:11.000 Mine aren't hurt, too.

03:00:12.000 It's not my fault. 1.00

03:00:13.000 Shit, you're busy, too, bitch. 1.00

03:00:14.000 We're both busy. 1.00

03:00:15.000 We are busy.

03:00:15.000 It was really fun, though.

03:00:16.000 It was awesome.

03:00:17.000 Brian Cowen, ladies and gentlemen.

03:00:19.000 Come see me at Cobbs.

03:00:19.000 Cobbs?

03:00:20.000 Cobbs when?

03:00:21.000 Cobbs, December 7, 8, 9. Good lord.

03:00:23.000 Then the following weekend, Schaumburg Improv, you bastard. 0.99

03:00:26.000 December 14, 15, 16, whatever. 0.99

03:00:29.000 Plan ahead.

03:00:29.000 Yep, and by the way, go see Brennan Schaub at the Wilbur Theatre, please.

03:00:33.000 January 19th. 0.99

03:00:35.000 Sell that bitch out. 1.00

03:00:36.000 December. 1.00

03:00:36.000 December 19th. 1.00

03:00:37.000 No, January.

03:00:38.000 January 19th.

03:00:39.000 January 19th, day before the UFC. I'll be there hanging out with him.

03:00:42.000 All right, you fucks. 1.00

03:00:43.000 We love you. 1.00

03:00:44.000 Bye.

03:00:47.000 That was awesome.

03:00:48.000 Time goes by quickly, huh?

The Joe Rogan Experience - November 28, 2017

Joe Rogan Experience #1045 - Bryan Callen

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript