The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1046 - Owen Smith

00:00:04.000 Boom! 0.99

00:00:05.000 And we're live.

00:00:05.000 Owen, you going to Australia?

00:00:06.000 Are you moving there?

00:00:07.000 Nah! 0.99

00:00:10.000 I've never been, D. I've never been.

00:00:13.000 You would love it.

00:00:14.000 That's what they say, man.

00:00:15.000 A lot of Australians come to the store, and when I perform at the cellar, a lot of Australians.

00:00:20.000 They fly over here to see comedy.

00:00:23.000 It's crazy.

00:00:23.000 Yeah.

00:00:24.000 It's crazy.

00:00:24.000 They take comedy vacations.

00:00:25.000 It's super common.

00:00:27.000 You ever see a hot dog spot, and this is world-famous hot dog?

00:00:31.000 I feel like when I talk to an Australian, I can say I'm world-famous, but I've never been over there. 1.00

00:00:37.000 Well, I think a lot of them come over here just like, oh, fuck it, mate. 0.99

00:00:40.000 Let's go to Australia and, you know, fucking fly over to Los Angeles and see what it's like over there. 1.00

00:00:45.000 They've got more people in their state than we have in our entire country. 0.98

00:00:49.000 There's more people in the greater LA area than in all of Australia.

00:00:53.000 The entirety.

00:00:55.000 What's that feel like?

00:00:57.000 You know, and they're as big as the United States.

00:00:58.000 Yeah, it's huge.

00:00:59.000 Yeah, it's huge.

00:01:01.000 So it's the size of the contiguous United States, I think the lower 48, I don't think it's Alaska included, but it has less people than Los Angeles.

00:01:09.000 I learned that lower 48 term when I was in Alaska.

00:01:12.000 I didn't even know that.

00:01:13.000 Yeah, they barely are American. 0.88

00:01:15.000 Yeah, it was crazy.

00:01:16.000 You look at it, you're like, what?

00:01:18.000 How is this up here?

00:01:21.000 This is America too?

00:01:22.000 Yeah, I was like, huh?

00:01:23.000 How'd y'all get in?

00:01:25.000 Lower 48. Yeah, I used to have a joke about Sarah Palin. 0.68

00:01:28.000 I'm like, that's a frozen Puerto Rico.

00:01:29.000 That's what that is.

00:01:31.000 That is so not America.

00:01:34.000 That's barely America.

00:01:35.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

00:01:36.000 Those people are cool as fuck, though. 0.99

00:01:37.000 Yeah, man. 0.99

00:01:38.000 I loved it.

00:01:38.000 Everything was rustic.

00:01:40.000 That was the new word for, like, it was a booger on my spoon, man.

00:01:42.000 It was rustic.

00:01:45.000 I was in Fairbanks.

00:01:47.000 I became a nerd, too.

00:01:48.000 I saw, like, the Aurora Borealis.

00:01:50.000 It was beautiful.

00:01:51.000 I saw a moose up close and...

00:01:53.000 Whales, like, breaching, you know, in Resurrection Bay, I think is where I went.

00:01:58.000 It's fantastic.

00:01:59.000 It's fantastic.

00:01:59.000 I loved it.

00:02:00.000 I went in April, so it wasn't too cold, but it was still cold as shit. 0.95

00:02:03.000 Yeah, it's weird up there because the people are just, they're so accustomed to, like, the trials and tribulations of nature. 0.97

00:02:11.000 They feel like they're hardier folk.

00:02:12.000 Oh, yeah, definitely.

00:02:13.000 You know what I mean?

00:02:14.000 Definitely.

00:02:14.000 They're not consumed with, like, the stuff that we are bothered with.

00:02:17.000 And everybody Everybody has a plane.

00:02:19.000 Like every other person had a plane in their backyard.

00:02:21.000 A bush plane.

00:02:22.000 Yeah.

00:02:22.000 Which is kinda cool.

00:02:24.000 Dude, this place is going crazy.

00:02:26.000 We lost Garrison Keillor and Matt Lauer today.

00:02:30.000 Both of them went down!

00:02:31.000 That's what they get.

00:02:32.000 Crazy.

00:02:34.000 Garrison Keillor. 0.88

00:02:35.000 Garrison Keillor.

00:02:36.000 Look, man, them low-talking dudes.

00:02:38.000 Those slow-talking.

00:02:39.000 Welcome to Lake Mobegon.

00:02:41.000 Those are the guys you gotta watch out for.

00:02:43.000 Yeah, the whispery dudes.

00:02:44.000 Here we are live.

00:02:45.000 Public Broadcast Radio could use your donations.

00:02:47.000 We love bringing you quality content, but it comes at a price.

00:02:52.000 Yeah, the first guy to go down was that John Gomeschi guy.

00:02:55.000 Who was that?

00:02:56.000 Is that the NBR president?

00:02:57.000 He was the guy from Canada. 0.99

00:02:57.000 The CBC guy that was choking bitches. 0.99

00:03:00.000 Oh, no. 0.99

00:03:01.000 Who was the Montreal...

00:03:05.000 That's the dude!

00:03:07.000 That's the Montreal dude?

00:03:08.000 He was like, Mr. Calm and quiet and progressive and I'm a feminist.

00:03:13.000 I don't trust it.

00:03:14.000 I call myself a feminist.

00:03:16.000 Ladies, listen. 1.00

00:03:17.000 You cannot trust.

00:03:18.000 I'm not the best human being in the world, but I swear to God, what you see is what you get.

00:03:22.000 Yeah.

00:03:22.000 Alright?

00:03:23.000 You gotta be careful with these fucking male feminists. 1.00

00:03:25.000 That is just... 1.00

00:03:26.000 That is a sneaky ploy to get pussy. 1.00

00:03:29.000 What was that one... 1.00

00:03:31.000 Who was it?

00:03:31.000 Was it Eric Weinstein that was telling us about a particular type of cuttlefish that pretends to be a female so that he can get in close with the males because the males don't recognize him as being a threat.

00:03:48.000 What was it?

00:03:51.000 Sneaker male?

00:03:51.000 Like a sneaker male?

00:03:53.000 Hilarious.

00:03:53.000 Yeah, and he can operate like underneath the large cuttlefish and with all the females and he bangs them on the sneak tip.

00:04:01.000 That's the dude that's like, I understand you.

00:04:03.000 Yeah, is that it?

00:04:04.000 Sneaker male cuttlefish of Thailand.

00:04:07.000 There it is. 0.68

00:04:07.000 Yeah, so it literally is like a transgender cuttlefish. 0.68

00:04:10.000 It pretends to be a woman. 1.00

00:04:12.000 But really, it's just trying to get some pussy. 1.00

00:04:15.000 That's it. 1.00

00:04:15.000 And its strategy is not to be the big, you know, ever-present, dominant male, but instead just slip around, just like the girls. 1.00

00:04:24.000 That's like the one straight dude in a ballet joint.

00:04:28.000 Yeah. 0.80

00:04:29.000 And he's like, the women complain to me about all the other guys, and then I end up smashing them all. 0.99

00:04:34.000 Or like the one straight dude in a...

00:04:36.000 Church choir.

00:04:37.000 Yeah, you know when you see those guys who they really are?

00:04:40.000 When one of the ballerinas boyfriends show up.

00:04:42.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:04:43.000 And the straight dude's bitchy to them. 1.00

00:04:44.000 Like, oh, look at you. 1.00

00:04:46.000 Trying to fuck my girl. 1.00

00:04:48.000 You've been trying, though. 1.00

00:04:49.000 You've got this whole thing cultivated.

00:04:51.000 You're watering it all.

00:04:53.000 You're putting fertilizer.

00:04:54.000 You're setting it all up.

00:04:55.000 You got your moves.

00:04:56.000 You got your calendar.

00:04:57.000 You got your fake books.

00:04:58.000 You're pretending to read that you leave out.

00:05:00.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:05:01.000 All the shit that we do. 0.99

00:05:02.000 All the shit that guys do. 1.00

00:05:04.000 Everybody has a move. 1.00

00:05:06.000 What was Garrison Keillor's?

00:05:08.000 He was probably the, you know, just the intellect, man.

00:05:11.000 He was a professor.

00:05:13.000 He was the professorial crush, right?

00:05:15.000 Lake Bobegon, he created this whole world.

00:05:17.000 Yeah.

00:05:17.000 Blue Talking Dude made money in Minnesota.

00:05:19.000 It was Prince and this dude.

00:05:21.000 And Garrison Keillor, yeah.

00:05:23.000 So, man, look at that dude. 0.99

00:05:25.000 That dude was slinging dick. 1.00

00:05:27.000 Ugh. 1.00

00:05:30.000 I wonder what is the accusations?

00:05:32.000 I don't know.

00:05:33.000 Here's the thing though, man. 0.75

00:05:34.000 All a chick has to do is hate you. 1.00

00:05:36.000 That's what's scary.

00:05:37.000 Yeah, and then you're guilty.

00:05:38.000 Yeah, the bucket is so wide.

00:05:41.000 It's the Weinstein of it all, and then it's, I don't know, Matt Lauer of it all.

00:05:45.000 I don't know what Matt did.

00:05:46.000 Yeah, I don't know what he did either.

00:05:47.000 But then there's the Louis C.K. angle, where he doesn't even touch you.

00:05:50.000 He just jerks off in front of you like, hmm. 1.00

00:05:52.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:05:54.000 Like my boys say though, he's like, you don't know what it's like to have a dick. 1.00

00:06:01.000 Because you think about it, who would put everything in peril to just jerk off in front of somebody? 1.00

00:06:08.000 You know this is going to come back on you. 0.98

00:06:10.000 Yes. 1.00

00:06:10.000 So it has to be something with your dick that makes you go, I have to do this. 1.00

00:06:14.000 I've been saying this for a while. 1.00

00:06:16.000 I think it's one of the things that makes people funny, too, is that ridiculous way of viewing the world. 1.00

00:06:21.000 You're just chaotic, impulsive, and you do nutty shit. 1.00

00:06:24.000 And the next thing you know, you're like, can I jerk off in front of you? 1.00

00:06:26.000 And you're like, what? 0.99

00:06:27.000 What?

00:06:28.000 You push the limits. 0.99

00:06:30.000 Let me see how ridiculous I can be. 0.90

00:06:33.000 Yeah, you want to see where people's lines are.

00:06:35.000 And it probably worked.

00:06:36.000 It might have worked for somebody.

00:06:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:06:38.000 That whipping out, like the whipping your dick out thing, like I know dudes that people tried to get me to do that in college. 1.00

00:06:44.000 They were like, yo, you should just pull your dick out. 1.00

00:06:46.000 I'm like, that works? 1.00

00:06:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:48.000 And I was like, I never had the courage to just pull my dick out in front of a girl. 1.00

00:06:52.000 It doesn't work all the time. 1.00

00:06:56.000 But when it does work, you're like, holy shit, I gotta figure out what the rhythm is here. 0.85

00:07:00.000 Right, right, what's the beats? 0.97

00:07:01.000 What are the beats?

00:07:02.000 Is it a movie first?

00:07:04.000 Because there's some times where it can work, and you're like, what?

00:07:08.000 How is that possible? 1.00

00:07:10.000 But then other times where you'd pull your dick out and the girl would be like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:07:13.000 And you're like, I'm sorry! 1.00

00:07:15.000 Jesus!

00:07:16.000 What did I do?

00:07:17.000 Jesus!

00:07:18.000 You can't bat baseball averages with your Nick pullout game.

00:07:21.000 Not only that, it's a low average too.

00:07:22.000 It's a low average.

00:07:23.000 It's a low average.

00:07:24.000 But if you get crazy and hit that one out of a hundred, it was worth it!

00:07:31.000 It was worth it until today, man.

00:07:34.000 All those 99 are coming out.

00:07:36.000 Yes.

00:07:36.000 And if you have like a freak girlfriend, like when you're in high school or something like that, and it just ruins your perception.

00:07:43.000 It ruins you. 0.96

00:07:43.000 You know what else fucks a lot of dudes up? 0.96

00:07:44.000 The strip club. 0.91

00:07:45.000 They hang out there, so they have this false reality of what...

00:07:48.000 You know, a woman is. 1.00

00:07:50.000 So then when they go out and just try to talk to a regular woman, they're like, well, you gotta get to know me first. 1.00

00:07:54.000 They're like, fuck you, bitch. 1.00

00:07:55.000 They don't even know how to. 1.00

00:07:56.000 There's a little bit of that, but there's also you just getting used to dealing with freaks.

00:07:59.000 Yeah.

00:08:00.000 You're dealing with freaks all the time.

00:08:01.000 They have a different parameter.

00:08:03.000 It's not like the lady in the office that handles accounting. 1.00

00:08:06.000 You can't pull your dick out on her. 1.00

00:08:07.000 No. 1.00

00:08:08.000 But that is nice when you meet a woman who has agency over her body and knows what she likes. 1.00

00:08:14.000 That could fuck you up when you go and you're dealing with somebody that's not that free. 0.55

00:08:18.000 Yes. 0.97

00:08:19.000 That's a problem.

00:08:21.000 Where girls just, they're not, free's the right word, right? 1.00

00:08:24.000 They're not just relaxed enough or comfortable enough in their own skin or know what they like and just can tell you and you're like, yeah?

00:08:31.000 Yeah.

00:08:32.000 And that's when you have to decide if you really like her because if you do like... 0.75

00:08:36.000 Focus on her and bring that out of her and you don't like her, it's going to be hard to get out of there.

00:08:42.000 Yeah, that's a problem.

00:08:44.000 Yeah, I dated a girl once a long time ago.

00:08:46.000 Way back in the day, I was in my 20s. 0.96

00:08:48.000 And I loved having sex with her, but I hated hanging out with her. 0.97

00:08:52.000 I know, man. 0.99

00:08:53.000 It's that.

00:08:54.000 How'd you try to ghost her?

00:08:57.000 She got mad at me.

00:08:59.000 That's what they always did.

00:09:01.000 They always wound up getting mad at me.

00:09:04.000 They just get mad at you.

00:09:06.000 You're not doing what they want you to do.

00:09:08.000 You're not marrying them.

00:09:09.000 You're not this.

00:09:09.000 You're not that.

00:09:10.000 You're not...

00:09:10.000 Oh, man.

00:09:11.000 But isn't that crazy?

00:09:12.000 Don't think about that.

00:09:14.000 You got what you wanted, and then you had to sit through that moment of her being upset with you.

00:09:19.000 You knew it was coming, but you already got what you wanted.

00:09:22.000 You see what I'm saying?

00:09:23.000 Well, part of her behavior was like a game to try to get me in. 1.00

00:09:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:09:28.000 You know, like part of her freak shit was just like, she knew that that's what I wanted from her. 0.99

00:09:33.000 You know, so she would just act like the freakiest. 1.00

00:09:35.000 Like, I'll suck your dick right now. 1.00

00:09:36.000 You want me to? 1.00

00:09:37.000 Yeah.

00:09:37.000 Like, we're in the movie theater.

00:09:38.000 I'll suck your dick. 1.00

00:09:38.000 Right. 1.00

00:09:39.000 Whoa.

00:09:39.000 Jesus.

00:09:40.000 Right.

00:09:41.000 You're like, I didn't know what was on the menu, but I'll take it.

00:09:43.000 And then when you go, all right, I'm good.

00:09:45.000 Yeah.

00:09:45.000 What?

00:09:46.000 How could you? 1.00

00:09:46.000 I sucked your dick in that theater. 1.00

00:09:48.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:09:49.000 Yeah.

00:09:50.000 Like some part of like that behavior is like they know that other girls don't behave like that.

00:09:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:09:54.000 So if they just turn this shit up to nine, like, whoa. 0.99

00:09:57.000 It's dope. 0.99

00:09:58.000 And then you think about them all the time and then it gets exciting.

00:10:01.000 Then after she's mad at you, then that's when I would date her. 1.00

00:10:04.000 No dick sucks in the movie. 1.00

00:10:05.000 Angry. 1.00

00:10:06.000 Angry. 1.00

00:10:07.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:10:07.000 She don't even like movies. 1.00

00:10:08.000 I don't like movies.

00:10:09.000 How come you don't like...

00:10:09.000 Who doesn't like movies?

00:10:11.000 Yeah, a friend of mine was talking to me about this, about a girl that has been real open about all the different guys she fucked, and now she's going to settle down, but... 0.97

00:10:23.000 I was promiscuous in the past, and I'm not doing that anymore. 0.66

00:10:25.000 And the guy's like, what?

00:10:27.000 When a guy hears that, you're like, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:10:30.000 I missed it?

00:10:31.000 I missed the Borealis?

00:10:34.000 It's the worst, yes.

00:10:34.000 I could have been here in April.

00:10:35.000 I would have saw the lights in the sky.

00:10:37.000 Yes, yes. 0.99

00:10:38.000 Yeah, I hate born-again virgins, man. 1.00

00:10:41.000 I get it, though. 0.53

00:10:42.000 I ain't doing it no more until I get married.

00:10:44.000 It's like, you got two kids. 1.00

00:10:45.000 You used to fuck. 1.00

00:10:48.000 It's my turn. 1.00

00:10:50.000 You know what I had to do to get in this seat?

00:10:52.000 But you gotta just let people be who they are, man.

00:10:55.000 When you see that, the thing is, like, this is what men do and also what women do. 0.84

00:10:58.000 We try to change the person.

00:11:00.000 We're like, oh, this dude doesn't dress good, but if I just get him the right clothes and just teach him how to groom his hair and, you know, get him to wear more stylish things.

00:11:10.000 Yeah.

00:11:10.000 Yeah, they'll just start to change you.

00:11:12.000 Then you start looking better.

00:11:14.000 Confidence gets up.

00:11:14.000 You're like, why am I with you?

00:11:16.000 Yeah.

00:11:17.000 I want to get with her now.

00:11:18.000 I had a buddy of mine who would get girls and get them to go on a diet. 1.00

00:11:21.000 He would date cute girls that were like a little chubby. 1.00

00:11:23.000 And then he would take them to the gym.

00:11:25.000 Added value.

00:11:25.000 And I was like, what are you doing?

00:11:27.000 Added value.

00:11:28.000 He's like, no, this way, like, they really like you.

00:11:30.000 You get them and then you can make them hot.

00:11:32.000 I'm like...

00:11:33.000 That's a lot of work, man.

00:11:34.000 It's chaos. 0.99

00:11:35.000 I mean, it might work, but it's like the whip the dick out thing. 0.84

00:11:38.000 One out of a hundred, it's going to work. 0.97

00:11:40.000 One out of a hundred, yeah.

00:11:40.000 The other girl's going to be hiding candy.

00:11:43.000 Like, how come you're not losing any weight?

00:11:44.000 I don't know.

00:11:45.000 I'm doing everything you're saying.

00:11:46.000 You're doing it wrong.

00:11:47.000 Right.

00:11:47.000 Or the dude.

00:11:48.000 You know, a girl takes a chubby dude and brings him to the gym all the time. 1.00

00:11:51.000 You can't make...

00:11:52.000 A chubby dude, like a fitness freak.

00:11:54.000 No.

00:11:55.000 People are who they are.

00:11:56.000 They are who they are.

00:11:57.000 They are who they are, man.

00:11:58.000 But I'm trying to lose some weight.

00:12:01.000 Are you?

00:12:02.000 I'm trying intermittent fasting.

00:12:04.000 I do that.

00:12:04.000 You mess with that?

00:12:05.000 Yeah, I do that every night.

00:12:06.000 Oh, word?

00:12:07.000 Yeah.

00:12:07.000 Well, except on vacation.

00:12:08.000 I gained five pounds.

00:12:10.000 Even though I worked out every day on vacation, I worked out every day.

00:12:13.000 But I drank and ate everything.

00:12:15.000 And I gained five pounds in a week.

00:12:17.000 That's crazy.

00:12:18.000 It's crazy.

00:12:19.000 That's crazy.

00:12:20.000 How many hours do you go?

00:12:23.000 What are you?

00:12:23.000 18?

00:12:24.000 12?

00:12:24.000 14. That's probably what I'm doing, I think.

00:12:27.000 Yeah, I do 10 p.m.

00:12:29.000 at night.

00:12:30.000 I'll do 10 p.m.

00:12:31.000 at night.

00:12:32.000 Or 8 p.m.

00:12:33.000 at night, rather, and then 10 a.m.

00:12:34.000 in the morning.

00:12:34.000 Oh!

00:12:35.000 So it's not bad.

00:12:36.000 So I'm done eating.

00:12:38.000 No more food after 8 p.m.

00:12:40.000 at night.

00:12:40.000 And then 10 a.m.

00:12:42.000 in the morning, I'm going to start eating.

00:12:43.000 Oh, that's dope. 0.94

00:12:44.000 It's easy.

00:12:45.000 You know what, man? 0.98

00:12:46.000 It's like that feeling when you come home from the store, though, and you're like, damn, I'd like to eat something. 0.91

00:12:51.000 But you just got to pass that up. 0.91

00:12:53.000 You know what else I gotta pass up?

00:12:55.000 Having something to drink at night, like a glass of water or something like that, because it's always like 4 in the morning and I don't piss. 0.99

00:13:00.000 I'm like, God damn it. 0.99

00:13:01.000 You're not getting that good sleep. 1.00

00:13:03.000 You get up, you gotta piss, you go back to bed again. 0.98

00:13:05.000 But a couple nights I've been fucking good and disciplined, where after a certain time, no liquids, and I sleep like a baby all through the night. 0.97

00:13:12.000 You wake up and you feel like you did something. 0.87

00:13:14.000 Yeah.

00:13:16.000 Another thing I do now is I work out in the morning.

00:13:19.000 Yeah, that's what I've been doing.

00:13:20.000 I work out in the morning before I eat.

00:13:21.000 I think I figured it out, Joe.

00:13:22.000 I think I figured out how I'm going to do it.

00:13:24.000 How are you going to do it?

00:13:25.000 I try to burn.

00:13:26.000 I started wearing a heart rate monitor finally.

00:13:28.000 Oh.

00:13:28.000 And I try to burn a thousand calories in my workout.

00:13:32.000 That's what I try to get to.

00:13:33.000 That's a lot.

00:13:34.000 That's a lot.

00:13:35.000 But if I can get to the 1,000, then if I eat 1,800 calories that whole day, then that 800 is...

00:13:42.000 For sure.

00:13:43.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:13:44.000 That's what I'm trying.

00:13:45.000 I'm on day three.

00:13:46.000 Day three?

00:13:50.000 Do you follow a specific type of diet?

00:13:52.000 Are you eating specific foods?

00:13:53.000 Well, I mean, I try to be more on a plant-based tip, but I'm not a vegan because I wear leather and all that stuff.

00:14:03.000 I think vegan is like...

00:14:06.000 I love what it represents, but I think their marketing, that's not the best word.

00:14:10.000 People are running from that term. 0.96

00:14:12.000 Well, people are running from cunts. 1.00

00:14:15.000 There's a lot of people that are vegan that are just cunts. 0.99

00:14:17.000 I had C.T. Fletcher on yesterday, and you know who he is? 0.98

00:14:21.000 The famous power lifter, very motivational guy.

00:14:23.000 Oh, the black dude, right? 1.00

00:14:25.000 But he was saying that he doesn't even say he's vegan anymore because people are so goddamn militant. 0.98

00:14:30.000 He's like, I'm not doing this for the animals. 0.99

00:14:31.000 I'm doing this shit for my health. 0.99

00:14:33.000 But if you say that, people got mad at him. 0.99

00:14:34.000 So he's like, I just say I eat vegan most of the time.

00:14:37.000 Yeah.

00:14:37.000 Most of the time.

00:14:38.000 Yeah, same.

00:14:38.000 That's what he says.

00:14:40.000 I get it.

00:14:40.000 But the vegans that are good people that are just doing it because they care and they're kind, they get a bum rap because of all the psychos.

00:14:46.000 And those psychos almost always have like vegan in their name.

00:14:49.000 Yeah.

00:14:50.000 Like vegan warrior.

00:14:51.000 Yeah.

00:14:52.000 Vegan earth goddess.

00:14:53.000 Yeah, if it's vegan first.

00:14:54.000 But you know what's funny?

00:14:55.000 If vegan is last, they tend to be cooler.

00:14:57.000 Like this thing.

00:14:59.000 I'm this person and then vegan.

00:15:01.000 My man EpiVegan, he loves your show.

00:15:03.000 EpiVegan?

00:15:04.000 EpiVegan.

00:15:05.000 I'm going to do a segment when he comes to town.

00:15:08.000 I like that cat.

00:15:09.000 He's cool.

00:15:10.000 I like a lot of vegans.

00:15:11.000 Yeah.

00:15:12.000 But I mock them like I mock myself.

00:15:14.000 I mock myself. 1.00

00:15:15.000 How the fuck am I not going to mock you? 0.99

00:15:16.000 My wife isn't vegan. 0.99

00:15:18.000 But she'll eat stuff that I make. 1.00

00:15:20.000 Sometimes she'll placate me.

00:15:22.000 I took a huge loss on Thanksgiving though.

00:15:24.000 I made two pies.

00:15:25.000 I like to cook and stuff.

00:15:27.000 So I made two sweet potato pies.

00:15:29.000 Ooh, I love sweet potato pies.

00:15:30.000 Yeah, one with milk and butter and all the stuff that you had growing up.

00:15:34.000 Boom, and I did that.

00:15:35.000 And then I made one vegan one just to see what people would like.

00:15:42.000 And man, it was just one slice taken out of the vegan pie.

00:15:48.000 One sad slice.

00:15:50.000 And everybody was like, man, come on.

00:15:51.000 But they tore the other pie up. 1.00

00:15:53.000 Of course.

00:15:54.000 Butter and eggs and sugar.

00:15:57.000 I had to wrap it up and take it back home with me.

00:15:59.000 It's still in the fridge.

00:16:00.000 What's in the vegan one?

00:16:01.000 So instead of eggs, you make flaxseed eggs.

00:16:08.000 So your pie got freckles in it. 0.99

00:16:10.000 I don't want no freckles in my goddamn pie. 0.99

00:16:12.000 But then it's everything else. 0.99

00:16:14.000 It's the same.

00:16:16.000 And instead of using half and half, you use like, it'll be like almond milk mixed with like coconut.

00:16:24.000 Milk.

00:16:24.000 That's alright.

00:16:25.000 And then you do...

00:16:27.000 But all sugar, flour, all that's the same.

00:16:30.000 No eggs.

00:16:31.000 No eggs.

00:16:32.000 But eggs, you can't taste eggs when you eat them.

00:16:35.000 Eggs is a binding agent.

00:16:36.000 It just holds it together.

00:16:38.000 When I was in Hawaii last week, we made gnocchi.

00:16:41.000 What's that?

00:16:42.000 We took a class.

00:16:43.000 It's potato pasta.

00:16:45.000 They were talking about that at the store.

00:16:46.000 I've never had that.

00:16:47.000 Ooh, it's delicious.

00:16:48.000 Is that good?

00:16:49.000 Yeah, it's good.

00:16:49.000 Who makes good gnocchi, though?

00:16:51.000 Because...

00:16:52.000 Everyone's eye contact.

00:16:54.000 I was like, who makes good gnocchi?

00:16:55.000 They're like, man, you out here.

00:16:59.000 I want to taste it.

00:17:01.000 What is this?

00:17:02.000 It's an Italian food.

00:17:04.000 You just got to go to a good Italian restaurant.

00:17:06.000 And they make good gnocchi?

00:17:06.000 Yeah, just find a good Italian place that has pasta.

00:17:10.000 They'll have gnocchi, most likely.

00:17:12.000 Yeah.

00:17:13.000 And it's not spelled N-O-K-I. It's a G. There's a G in front of it.

00:17:16.000 I've always... 0.97

00:17:17.000 When you open a menu and, you know, I was like, you know, I'm fucking with that. 0.77

00:17:23.000 I wouldn't even... 0.92

00:17:24.000 It's too risky. 0.84

00:17:26.000 If they have, like, lamb chops and gnocchi, like, those gnocchi, like, suck. 0.97

00:17:30.000 And then my meal is trashed.

00:17:32.000 Right.

00:17:32.000 It's probably been sitting there my whole life going to fancy Italian restaurants and just never...

00:17:37.000 It's an interesting pasta, because it's a pasta made with, like, they make it with potatoes.

00:17:42.000 Okay.

00:17:42.000 They boil potatoes, and they smash them down, and then they get it to a certain consistency, they cool it off, and then they add a certain amount of flour.

00:17:51.000 Like, we did the whole thing.

00:17:52.000 We chopped it up, we pressed it into, you roll it, you roll the flour out into like a little tube, and then you cut little sections of it, you make your gnocchi with the sections.

00:18:01.000 And do you have to then, do you bake that, or do you?

00:18:04.000 Yeah, they boil it.

00:18:05.000 They boil it?

00:18:05.000 Okay.

00:18:06.000 I think.

00:18:07.000 I didn't watch them do it.

00:18:08.000 I'm pretty sure they boil it, though.

00:18:09.000 Make a little sauce and then bread sauce.

00:18:11.000 We had a bunch of different sauces.

00:18:12.000 The chef cooked it with three different sauces.

00:18:14.000 He cooked it with a bolognese sauce.

00:18:17.000 He cooked it with a...

00:18:18.000 It was like a cheese sauce with walnuts.

00:18:24.000 Like a walnut.

00:18:25.000 I forget what kind of cheese.

00:18:26.000 And then there was another one.

00:18:27.000 One other sauce.

00:18:28.000 A pesto.

00:18:29.000 I make fresh pesto.

00:18:31.000 Yeah, it was good, man.

00:18:32.000 It was really good.

00:18:33.000 Yeah, man.

00:18:34.000 I just...

00:18:34.000 I think if you just cut out bread and cut out pasta, those are the two big ones.

00:18:40.000 Just cut that shit out of your diet. 0.99

00:18:41.000 You just sold me on gnocchi pasta, though. 1.00

00:18:42.000 Yeah, but that's potato pasta. 0.96

00:18:44.000 So that's different.

00:18:45.000 Different, yeah.

00:18:46.000 It's not as good for you as like some things, but I don't think it's nearly as bad for you as grain.

00:18:52.000 I think grain is just terrible.

00:18:54.000 Man, have you gotten through...

00:18:55.000 I haven't gotten through that dude's book.

00:18:57.000 Wheat Belly?

00:18:58.000 Yeah, Wheat Belly.

00:18:59.000 No, I haven't.

00:19:00.000 But I watched a documentary on the plane.

00:19:02.000 Coming back from Hawaii about wheat.

00:19:05.000 Let me see what the name of it is.

00:19:07.000 But it was a trip.

00:19:08.000 And it was all talking about the Roundup chemicals that they spray.

00:19:13.000 Ah, there it is.

00:19:14.000 And they were talking about how people say, well, it only affects bacteria. 1.00

00:19:18.000 And they were saying, yeah, but you have bacteria in your fucking gut. 1.00

00:19:21.000 Right. 1.00

00:19:21.000 Yeah, what's with wheat? 1.00

00:19:24.000 Yeah.

00:19:24.000 That's the name of the documentary.

00:19:26.000 And it's not good.

00:19:28.000 I tried watching it.

00:19:29.000 That dude was talking.

00:19:30.000 I was just...

00:19:31.000 I couldn't.

00:19:32.000 I was...

00:19:32.000 All right, man.

00:19:33.000 I was falling asleep.

00:19:34.000 Droning on.

00:19:35.000 Yeah, man.

00:19:35.000 That's the problem with all those academics.

00:19:37.000 Yeah.

00:19:37.000 Like, to be the type of person that can sit down and do that kind of research.

00:19:40.000 Right.

00:19:41.000 Painstaking, time-consuming research. 1.00

00:19:43.000 You're boring as fuck. 1.00

00:19:44.000 You're not interesting. 1.00

00:19:44.000 But you need those people, man. 1.00

00:19:46.000 Right.

00:19:46.000 Those people are the only ones that are going to do it.

00:19:48.000 You're not going to do it.

00:19:49.000 I'm not going to do it.

00:19:49.000 I know.

00:19:50.000 You need those people doing tests and then just explaining to you the dangers of complex glutens in the group.

00:19:57.000 Yeah, man.

00:19:58.000 So yeah, that's my goal.

00:19:59.000 So I'll check back in with you in like six weeks, see if I'm where I need to be.

00:20:02.000 Three days in, feeling strong though, right?

00:20:04.000 I'm talking about it publicly.

00:20:06.000 I'm usually really private about what I'm doing.

00:20:08.000 I think talking about it publicly is important.

00:20:10.000 Hey man, once you get over 40, I feel like you can eat whatever you want until you're 40. Because you only get one intestine.

00:20:22.000 So then you have to start Your body loses enzymes that will break it down as vigorously.

00:20:28.000 Because I have a son now, and I watch my son.

00:20:29.000 My son can eat anything.

00:20:30.000 And his energy is high, you know, and all of that.

00:20:33.000 But when you get older, you lose some of those enzymes.

00:20:36.000 I feel like enzymes are like government workers.

00:20:39.000 Like, you eat a steak, they're like, who gonna get that? 1.00

00:20:43.000 I've been getting that shit for 40 years. 1.00

00:20:44.000 Somebody else is going to get that? 1.00

00:20:46.000 And so then it sits and it sits.

00:20:47.000 Plus your son's growing.

00:20:49.000 My son's growing.

00:20:50.000 A little furnace for calories.

00:20:52.000 Just burning them off.

00:20:53.000 So dope.

00:20:54.000 He's starting to speak sign language now.

00:20:58.000 Like just little things.

00:20:59.000 You know, he knows more.

00:21:00.000 We give him some food and we taught him more. 0.98

00:21:02.000 And he just looked at us like we were silly.

00:21:04.000 And then like a couple hours later he's like... 0.80

00:21:07.000 Come on.

00:21:08.000 Bring it.

00:21:08.000 You told me this way.

00:21:10.000 It's not working.

00:21:11.000 I'm doing it.

00:21:11.000 Well, in the beginning, they say sign language is a really good thing to teach kids because they can't really formulate the words yet.

00:21:16.000 That's why they get frustrated and they start crying because they can't tell you what they want, but they know what they want.

00:21:22.000 It's amazing.

00:21:22.000 They don't know a language yet.

00:21:23.000 Yeah.

00:21:24.000 It's interesting.

00:21:24.000 And he's a huge Prince fan.

00:21:26.000 I love playing records.

00:21:29.000 And so my wife got me a dope record player for Christmas and We play Prince's Purple Rain on there.

00:21:37.000 If I play anything else, he just wants Prince right now.

00:21:41.000 Really?

00:21:41.000 And I'll go, you want to hear some music with dinner?

00:21:44.000 And he'll run to the record player and he'll start trying to...

00:21:46.000 How old is he?

00:21:47.000 He's 14 months.

00:21:48.000 Wow.

00:21:49.000 Yeah, and so he understands things.

00:21:51.000 I'll be like, get the ball, and he'll get it, and then we'll play, but...

00:21:54.000 I could see him wanting to say it.

00:21:56.000 Occasionally he'll sit and just start mocking me.

00:21:59.000 Like, I'll say, get the boy.

00:22:01.000 He'll be like, bah. 0.97

00:22:02.000 Like, I could see him trying to just... 1.00

00:22:04.000 Fuck with you? 1.00

00:22:04.000 Yeah, fuck with me. 1.00

00:22:05.000 LAUGHTER I literally just start saying, trying to say what I just said in the same rhythm. 1.00

00:22:14.000 Wait till he starts talking to you.

00:22:15.000 That's when it gets real weird.

00:22:16.000 Man, I can't wait, man.

00:22:16.000 I have little conversations with my kids.

00:22:18.000 Yeah.

00:22:18.000 And just while I'm talking to them, I'm talking to them about what we're talking about.

00:22:23.000 But most of my brain is like, I can't believe you can talk!

00:22:27.000 Yeah, I know.

00:22:28.000 I can't believe you're a person.

00:22:30.000 And you're a seven-year-old person.

00:22:33.000 We're exploring the world together.

00:22:35.000 We're talking about stuff.

00:22:37.000 Yeah.

00:22:38.000 My kids are way too aggressive with me physically, though.

00:22:41.000 Especially my littlest one.

00:22:43.000 All girls, man. 1.00

00:22:44.000 My seven-year-old, she fucking tackles me all the time. 1.00

00:22:47.000 Just full-on charge, like I'm indestructible. 0.99

00:22:51.000 She takes MMA, so she will slam into me, grab a single leg, throw her shoulder into me. 1.00

00:22:57.000 If I plop down on the bed, she gets on top of me.

00:22:59.000 She drops on top of me on the mount. 0.60

00:23:01.000 She'll start punching my stomach. 1.00

00:23:03.000 She thinks it's hilarious, because I'm like a toy. 0.75

00:23:05.000 She feels like she can just beat on me. 0.94

00:23:07.000 Because I can just carry her.

00:23:09.000 I pick her up all the time.

00:23:10.000 I put her on my shoulders. 1.00

00:23:11.000 She's like, this motherfucker can just carry me. 1.00

00:23:13.000 I can't even hurt him. 1.00

00:23:15.000 I'll just wail on him.

00:23:16.000 That's so funny.

00:23:17.000 It's hilarious.

00:23:18.000 Man.

00:23:18.000 She's so aggressive.

00:23:20.000 Man, I want my son to know how to do all that stuff.

00:23:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:23:22.000 Get him involved early.

00:23:23.000 It'll be a normal part of life.

00:23:25.000 So that way, like bullies and conflict, it won't bother them because they know how to fight.

00:23:30.000 Yeah, I had to make bullies laugh. 0.97

00:23:32.000 Yeah.

00:23:33.000 But you're a big dude.

00:23:34.000 Big dude, yeah, but I got a short torso.

00:23:39.000 I look 5'8 sitting down.

00:23:41.000 I grew up in Maryland, so we had public transit and stuff.

00:23:46.000 So whenever I would be on public transit, I would always see the dudes like, yo, we got one.

00:23:50.000 And then I would have to stand up.

00:23:52.000 They were like, oh, never mind.

00:23:55.000 But yeah, my height saved me a lot.

00:23:57.000 And then being funny helped me a lot, too.

00:23:59.000 Yeah, being funny is the good one.

00:24:00.000 It's like, oh, this guy's not trying to be dominant. 0.99

00:24:02.000 He just wants to be the silly dude. 0.99

00:24:03.000 Okay, we like you. 0.98

00:24:04.000 You know what I used to do, too, though?

00:24:07.000 I only told Colin Quinn this story. 0.91

00:24:11.000 When I grew up in these apartments, Pembroke Apartments, in Prince Shorters County, Maryland, there was this one bully who would steal people's bikes and shit, and he would start fights and whatever.

00:24:21.000 And so I had, I played sports, you know, so one of my trophies broke and my mom took me to some place to fix it and I did not know that there was a place that existed where you, I just thought trophies appeared.

00:24:33.000 You know what I mean?

00:24:34.000 As a kid, you just get a trophy.

00:24:35.000 So when I saw this was the spot, what I used to do is I would save my allowance and I would go to the trophy spot and buy like a karate trophy.

00:24:47.000 And just walk around the neighborhood just long enough for this one dude to see me who I knew would be like the town crier.

00:24:53.000 And I would always act embarrassed about it.

00:24:55.000 Like, oh, young, what's that, young?

00:24:56.000 And that's how we talk.

00:24:57.000 We say young and stuff. 1.00

00:24:58.000 My mother got me taking karate and shit. 0.98

00:25:01.000 I'm wondering, oh, you want karate? 0.99

00:25:03.000 You nice like that?

00:25:04.000 Yeah, man, but don't tell nobody, man. 0.94

00:25:06.000 I ain't gonna say shit. 0.98

00:25:07.000 And then I would leave. 0.99

00:25:10.000 And then like, you know, a couple of months ago, I go by and buy a little bigger truck.

00:25:15.000 That's hilarious.

00:25:16.000 And the dude never messed with me.

00:25:17.000 He never messed with me.

00:25:18.000 Thank God no one was like, oh, I can fight.

00:25:21.000 But you know what I'm saying?

00:25:22.000 But it was like, the word got out enough.

00:25:24.000 Because nobody knew karate.

00:25:27.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:25:27.000 Like, if you heard a dude did karate, that was enough.

00:25:30.000 Like, you didn't want to get embarrassed.

00:25:32.000 Right.

00:25:33.000 It gave me free passage.

00:25:35.000 That's hilarious.

00:25:37.000 Just to be my corny self.

00:25:39.000 That's a very clever way of handling it.

00:25:41.000 That's what I did.

00:25:42.000 When I saw that store, I was like...

00:25:46.000 And the pieces, they were like five bucks.

00:25:48.000 Seven bucks, three bucks.

00:25:49.000 And I would go and put it on. 1.00

00:25:51.000 So I was acting at an early age, all that shit. 0.99

00:25:54.000 That's hilarious. 0.99

00:25:55.000 I said, I know where he's going to be.

00:25:56.000 As soon as he saw me, I'd go back in the house.

00:25:58.000 I didn't want a big, you know what I mean?

00:26:00.000 That's very clever.

00:26:02.000 Psychologically, you knew the right guy that couldn't keep his mouth shut.

00:26:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:26:07.000 It was always that guy.

00:26:09.000 You know who that guy is.

00:26:10.000 Yeah.

00:26:11.000 And he was so funny, too.

00:26:13.000 I bet he works for TMZ now.

00:26:15.000 Probably.

00:26:16.000 If he got out.

00:26:18.000 If he got out.

00:26:19.000 If he got out, right.

00:26:20.000 Because that was, in our neighborhood, it was, people were afraid to dream out loud.

00:26:26.000 You know what I mean?

00:26:27.000 Like, I wanted to be a comedian since I was nine, but I ain't telling nobody.

00:26:31.000 Because I saw somebody else say, I want to be, whatever, man, you ain't going, you can't, you know what I'm saying?

00:26:35.000 Right.

00:26:37.000 Isn't that funny how people want to squash dreams?

00:26:39.000 Yeah, because it's their fear, but you don't realize that until you're older.

00:26:43.000 It's their fear that they're pushing on you.

00:26:46.000 And so, in their own way, they think they're helping you.

00:26:50.000 Right, giving you a dose of reality.

00:26:52.000 Yeah, and you were in Boston, so you had this too. 0.99

00:26:56.000 A lot of people yell at you helpful shit. 0.99

00:27:00.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:27:00.000 It's like a yelling community. 1.00

00:27:02.000 Like, don't do that!

00:27:04.000 So I always had like...

00:27:07.000 People always yell, watch the street!

00:27:09.000 They would be really emotionally charged.

00:27:12.000 Get out of the street!

00:27:13.000 As opposed to, hey man.

00:27:15.000 It was never calm.

00:27:17.000 You were always yelled at.

00:27:18.000 It was like a lot of yelling.

00:27:20.000 You know where I found it the weirdest?

00:27:22.000 I worked as a limo driver once.

00:27:25.000 And there was this guy that worked in the dispatch.

00:27:28.000 And this guy was just like a real bitter dude.

00:27:30.000 And he wasn't that much older than me.

00:27:32.000 I was 21. And he was probably like 26 or 27. But he had given up.

00:27:37.000 And he was the dispatch guy.

00:27:38.000 And I worked all day.

00:27:40.000 I had an eight-hour shift.

00:27:43.000 And then after I did the eight-hour shift, I'm like, hey man, I gotta go.

00:27:45.000 I gotta show tonight.

00:27:47.000 And he's like, a lot of guys here work 12 hours a day.

00:27:49.000 I go...

00:27:50.000 That's great.

00:27:51.000 I go, but I did my eight hours.

00:27:53.000 I'm going.

00:27:53.000 They're like, well, we need some airport pickups.

00:27:55.000 I'm like, I did eight hours.

00:27:57.000 I go, I'm not working more than eight hours a day for you guys.

00:27:59.000 This is like a part-time job.

00:28:01.000 I work eight hours a day.

00:28:02.000 I'm gone. 1.00

00:28:02.000 This motherfucker called the place where I was supposed to be performing. 1.00

00:28:07.000 To find out if I was there. 1.00

00:28:09.000 And something happened and I got switched to another place.

00:28:11.000 Like the booking agent said, hey, why don't you work at this place instead?

00:28:14.000 And so I went in to work the next day.

00:28:16.000 He's like, yeah. 0.99

00:28:17.000 He goes, you weren't at that fucking place you said you were last night. 0.98

00:28:19.000 I go, I was like, first of all, dude, I'm done working. 0.99

00:28:22.000 I'm done.

00:28:23.000 I go, second of all, they switched me.

00:28:25.000 The booking agent said, call this other place.

00:28:26.000 I go, call the other place.

00:28:27.000 I'll wait.

00:28:28.000 Yeah.

00:28:28.000 And we're just looking at each other like, this guy just doesn't want dreams.

00:28:31.000 Yes.

00:28:32.000 He's like, yeah, you're out there doing comedy?

00:28:33.000 You could be making real money here.

00:28:35.000 Yeah.

00:28:35.000 Real money.

00:28:36.000 Yeah.

00:28:37.000 How dare you not see this as the thing?

00:28:39.000 They were pointing to this one dude.

00:28:41.000 There was this old dude who worked there.

00:28:42.000 Mm.

00:28:43.000 And I remember he was this big fat guy who had a Cadillac. 1.00

00:28:46.000 And that was the thing they were saying, you know, John over here, he works, he doesn't bust his ass. 0.99

00:28:52.000 He works about 60 hours a week. 0.97

00:28:54.000 And he's got a beautiful Cadillac.

00:28:57.000 And then this Cadillac.

00:28:58.000 He's just sitting there and everybody's like, wow, John's got a Cadillac.

00:29:01.000 He was like probably in his like late 40s. 1.00

00:29:03.000 Yeah fat dude just could tell you where the best veal scallopini is He just sat in his car all day driving around yeah, and then I remember thinking like this poor fuck like John makes about $60,000 a year He doesn't have to bust his ass. 0.99

00:29:18.000 Yeah, it's a good living and they point to him look at his Cadillac We were always like this is prison this guy's working 16 hours a day like what the fuck is going on here, man? 1.00

00:29:27.000 You can't live like that. 0.99

00:29:28.000 Yeah Yeah.

00:29:30.000 Yeah, man.

00:29:31.000 You gotta dream bigger than that.

00:29:33.000 One of my boys, he's doing really well.

00:29:35.000 He could always sing.

00:29:37.000 So our thing, we used to always have little singing groups.

00:29:40.000 And we have this, it's a local music called go-go music.

00:29:45.000 Go-go music?

00:29:46.000 Yeah.

00:29:46.000 It's like a lot of percussion and horns.

00:29:49.000 Local as to where?

00:29:50.000 It's really local in the D.C., Maryland, Virginia area.

00:29:54.000 But you've heard go-go, like...

00:29:58.000 It has some national hits, like Doing the Butt is a go-go song.

00:30:03.000 Doing the Butt.

00:30:04.000 Yeah, by Experience Unlimited EU. Yeah, that.

00:30:14.000 In the 70s, there used to be music programs in all the schools.

00:30:19.000 So all these cats were coming out, learning instrumentation, composition, all this stuff.

00:30:24.000 But in our era, they cut that.

00:30:27.000 But go-go bands, they still played live music.

00:30:31.000 So we would all try to form go-go groups, but we couldn't read music.

00:30:34.000 So we would be like, your part is...

00:30:38.000 We would talk to each other.

00:30:39.000 You on the horn, you play.

00:30:41.000 We didn't know notes or anything.

00:30:42.000 We would always try to do that, or we would be in a little singing group or something like that.

00:30:46.000 And one cat could sing so well.

00:30:49.000 And I just remember when my mom, we moved away when I was 13. I remember hoping that he would keep singing.

00:30:58.000 Years later, I'm asleep on my couch, man.

00:31:01.000 And I love music video, so I had it playing.

00:31:03.000 And I heard a familiar voice, and I wake up.

00:31:05.000 It was him.

00:31:06.000 Wow.

00:31:06.000 I started crying on my couch.

00:31:08.000 Did you?

00:31:08.000 Yeah!

00:31:09.000 I was like, get it!

00:31:10.000 He made that out.

00:31:11.000 Yeah, he's fantastic.

00:31:13.000 He got nominated for a Grammy two years ago.

00:31:16.000 Wow.

00:31:17.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:31:18.000 What's his name?

00:31:18.000 His name's Boo.

00:31:19.000 Black Boo. 1.00

00:31:20.000 His name's Alfred Antonio Duncan.

00:31:22.000 He went...

00:31:22.000 You call him Black Boo?

00:31:24.000 That's what he calls himself.

00:31:25.000 And he calls himself Black Boo... 0.77

00:31:27.000 Professional?

00:31:28.000 He was like my brother growing up.

00:31:31.000 I'm my only child, but...

00:31:33.000 His real name is Alfred.

00:31:35.000 So this is how we met.

00:31:37.000 I don't know how old I was, but there was a knock on my door.

00:31:40.000 Saturday morning cartoons.

00:31:42.000 That's him.

00:31:43.000 And so then Mambo Sauce is the name of Go-Go Band he was in.

00:31:47.000 And they have a hit song called Welcome to D.C. that I saw on the video channel.

00:31:54.000 And it plays all the time, like in the Redskins, where the Redskins play and where the Washington Wizards play.

00:32:02.000 He's dope. 0.78

00:32:03.000 And he just went viral for marrying his wife like he proposed to his girlfriend and then married her the same day. 0.94

00:32:13.000 What did you say, Jake?

00:32:15.000 Something else that just happened went viral.

00:32:17.000 Oh, nah.

00:32:18.000 But this is how he met.

00:32:19.000 I remember he knocked on my door.

00:32:22.000 And my mom answered it.

00:32:23.000 And he was like, how you doing?

00:32:24.000 My name is Boo.

00:32:26.000 He said, my mother want to know if you got a cup of milk, we could borrow.

00:32:31.000 And my mom was like, okay, yeah, we got a cup of milk.

00:32:33.000 My mom went to get some milk.

00:32:35.000 And she goes, this is my son Owen.

00:32:36.000 I go, hey, I go, why they call you Boo?

00:32:37.000 He said, because they said when I was born, I was so black that I looked like the sound of ghost makes.

00:32:42.000 So that was his name, Boo.

00:32:43.000 So then my mom gives him a cup of milk, and then he walked back carefully with it 15 minutes later.

00:32:49.000 How you doing, Ms. Smith?

00:32:51.000 My mother want to know if you got a half a cup of sugar she could borrow. 0.78

00:32:55.000 Yeah, I got a half a cup of sugar.

00:32:55.000 Came back.

00:32:56.000 How you doing, Ms. Smith?

00:32:57.000 My mother want to know if you got one egg she could borrow.

00:33:03.000 You sure you don't need two?

00:33:04.000 No, just one egg.

00:33:05.000 I'm going to give you two just in case.

00:33:08.000 So then he left.

00:33:09.000 Came back.

00:33:10.000 How you doing, Miss Smith?

00:33:11.000 My mother wouldn't know if you got a quarter cup of oil, she could borrow.

00:33:13.000 Jesus.

00:33:14.000 Real talk.

00:33:15.000 My mom gives him a cup of oil, comes back 15 minutes later.

00:33:17.000 No.

00:33:18.000 How you doing, Miss Smith?

00:33:19.000 My mother wouldn't know if you want to come over for pancakes. 0.88

00:33:28.000 He was my friend.

00:33:29.000 He became my best friend, like, just like that.

00:33:31.000 Just like that.

00:33:31.000 And my mom was like, does she need syrup?

00:33:33.000 And you could hear his mom go, I had that, you know?

00:33:36.000 Oh, that's funny.

00:33:36.000 And that's how we met.

00:33:37.000 And that was kind of like...

00:33:39.000 Indicative of the apartment complex.

00:33:41.000 Like looking back at it, it was like basically all single moms in that apartment complex. 1.00

00:33:47.000 And so all raising young boys and we would all go outside and play and give each other bad information.

00:33:55.000 Try to finger pop girls or whatever, whatever. 0.83

00:33:59.000 Try to do backflip, whatever it was.

00:34:01.000 And so that was a...

00:34:04.000 It was just a great time in my life, because I was born in the Bahamas, and then when my mom left my dad at nine months, she moved to D.C. for like a year, and then the Pembroke Apartments.

00:34:16.000 So I was in Pembroke Apartments from there until like 13 or 14. Where'd you start doing comedy?

00:34:22.000 I started doing comedy in Maryland, man, at the Greenbelt Comedy Connection.

00:34:29.000 Outside was a huge picture of Martin Lawrence and Dave Chappelle was just bubbling, starting to like pop.

00:34:38.000 And I actually saw Chappelle bomb in there.

00:34:41.000 And I hope this isn't a negative story.

00:34:44.000 It was fantastic how it happened.

00:34:46.000 He went up and he was doing his stuff and it was a black crowd.

00:34:48.000 At the time, you know, he was young, man.

00:34:50.000 We're the same age.

00:34:51.000 So at the time, we were both 19. And he was, like, just trying to figure it out.

00:34:57.000 And I thought he was great, but somebody was like, boo!

00:34:59.000 And they just started just a collective boo. 0.99

00:35:01.000 He was like, fuck, yo, I'm gonna be famous! 0.99

00:35:03.000 I'm gonna be famous! 1.00

00:35:04.000 Like, he literally was saying that.

00:35:06.000 Then he walked off stage and he sat right next to where I was.

00:35:09.000 And you know that just bomb energy?

00:35:12.000 He was just like, he ain't gonna look at nobody.

00:35:13.000 And I was just like, man.

00:35:15.000 And I had never seen anything...

00:35:16.000 Like, that happened, and this guy named Tony Woods went up after him.

00:35:19.000 I know Tony!

00:35:20.000 And so then Woodsy goes up, and Woodsy goes, man, that was great!

00:35:25.000 Standing ovation, right?

00:35:27.000 Then they walk off, they walk out together, get in the same car and drive off.

00:35:31.000 It's like, oh my god, that was incredible!

00:35:33.000 Like, just seeing that happen.

00:35:35.000 Yeah.

00:35:36.000 And, uh...

00:35:37.000 And then, I started in that environment where I learned how to perform first, right?

00:35:44.000 I had no substance.

00:35:45.000 I just knew how to, I was trying not to get booed. 0.99

00:35:48.000 So I wasn't talking about shit. 0.99

00:35:49.000 I was just, man, you... 0.99

00:35:51.000 It's just a very...

00:35:53.000 Just be entertaining.

00:35:53.000 Just an entertaining performer.

00:35:57.000 But everyone in that environment was so nurturing.

00:36:00.000 Like...

00:36:01.000 When you got off stage, other comments were like, yo, that's funny.

00:36:04.000 First, slow down.

00:36:05.000 Say this.

00:36:05.000 It was like a weird...

00:36:08.000 I don't know.

00:36:09.000 I never had other black men be that excited about something that wasn't sports or women.

00:36:17.000 You know what I mean?

00:36:18.000 Right, right.

00:36:18.000 And be that encouraging.

00:36:20.000 Like, yo, man, you funny.

00:36:21.000 Da-da-da-da. 0.81

00:36:23.000 And so I was like, I'm home.

00:36:24.000 This is, you know, and it was a guy I went to eighth grade with a cat named Mike Brooks.

00:36:29.000 He's like the mayor of DC Comedy Wise.

00:36:32.000 He had been doing it a year longer than me.

00:36:35.000 And took me around all the spots.

00:36:37.000 So my goal that summer was to just get paid, because I believe if you got paid, I'm a professional.

00:36:41.000 Right.

00:36:41.000 So at the end of the summer, this guy named Pops gave me a crumpled up $25 to perform in front of like six people in this big place in the Greenville, the Comedy Connection of Laurel.

00:36:53.000 And after that, you couldn't tell me nothing.

00:36:55.000 Because we had performed in, it's a lot of spots called cabarets, where The audience is not facing you.

00:37:02.000 So you're on stage and they're at long tables eating crabs and stuff and they have to careen their next bag and look at you.

00:37:09.000 And if I would get like a laugh or something, I was like, oh, okay, I'm doing it.

00:37:14.000 And we would do crazy stuff like a headliner would like...

00:37:20.000 Go short.

00:37:21.000 And we would go up after a headliner and eat it.

00:37:25.000 Because he just had him.

00:37:26.000 He was the headliner.

00:37:27.000 But for some reason he had an issue.

00:37:30.000 We would go up next.

00:37:31.000 I heard a headliner do that.

00:37:33.000 Bert Kreischer was telling me about that.

00:37:34.000 Where he would go on after the headliner.

00:37:36.000 Yeah.

00:37:37.000 Because the headliner didn't want to do the drop check spot.

00:37:39.000 Yeah.

00:37:39.000 So he would go up.

00:37:42.000 Someone would go up and do like 10 minutes.

00:37:44.000 Yeah.

00:37:44.000 The headliner would go up, do an hour.

00:37:46.000 Yeah.

00:37:46.000 And then Bert would go up and close the show.

00:37:49.000 Yeah, Mike Brooks was amazing. 1.00

00:37:50.000 What in the fuck kind of shit is that? 1.00

00:37:52.000 I know. 1.00

00:37:52.000 Yeah, one time, this is when I took another Sweet L. It was that same summer. 1.00

00:37:57.000 We were at one spot.

00:37:59.000 And then Mike said, hey, man, let's go to Comedy Connection.

00:38:04.000 Chris Thomas is coming down early or something.

00:38:06.000 We're going to close it out.

00:38:08.000 I was like, all right.

00:38:09.000 I didn't know.

00:38:10.000 You weren't supposed to do that.

00:38:12.000 And I'd get up there. 0.53

00:38:13.000 Chris Thomas is killing.

00:38:14.000 He was the mayor of Rap City.

00:38:16.000 He used to do this move, and he does a lot of impressions.

00:38:20.000 The crowd is literally crying.

00:38:24.000 Still, I'm going to go. 1.00

00:38:25.000 I'm going to kill it. 0.99

00:38:28.000 I don't know what's about to happen. 1.00

00:38:31.000 And I had to go first.

00:38:34.000 That was the other thing.

00:38:35.000 He set me up.

00:38:36.000 Like, yeah, you go up.

00:38:37.000 Then I'm going to go up.

00:38:38.000 So I basically had to take what was coming.

00:38:41.000 So Chris leaves.

00:38:43.000 And it was no ill will or nothing.

00:38:44.000 He literally had to go do something.

00:38:47.000 So then they introduced me.

00:38:48.000 I come out there.

00:38:48.000 This is when I used to wear slacks.

00:38:50.000 Shirt was tucked in.

00:38:51.000 I just smelled like a college kid.

00:38:53.000 I was like, what's up, y'all?

00:38:55.000 What's up?

00:38:56.000 Everybody's like, and the checks are dropping.

00:38:58.000 I didn't understand what that was.

00:38:59.000 People are looking at their bill.

00:39:01.000 Man, the Power Rangers are crazy.

00:39:07.000 I'm talking about sweat.

00:39:09.000 You know, all terrible, terrible.

00:39:11.000 I race off stage.

00:39:13.000 And then I don't think I got booed, but it was just silence.

00:39:18.000 It was just no laughs.

00:39:20.000 And then... 0.99

00:39:21.000 But Mike, he used to do this trick where he would pad his intro with shit he never did. 0.99

00:39:27.000 You seen him on the Martin Lloyd show. 0.98

00:39:29.000 You seen him opening for Sinbad.

00:39:31.000 You seen him on Def Jam.

00:39:33.000 I was like, you ain't doing all that?

00:39:35.000 And he was like, you got to figure it till you make it, Jordan.

00:39:37.000 And then he went out and he did okay.

00:39:39.000 And then... 0.99

00:39:40.000 I just learned a lot of lessons in that era, you know, like how to keep going, like if this shit ain't working, you know, just keep going. 0.97

00:39:49.000 And I really had so much confidence because I feel like that area was some of the toughest environments to get laughs. 0.97

00:39:57.000 So then I went to the Midwest.

00:39:59.000 I went to school in Notre Dame. 0.99

00:40:01.000 I was like, this ain't shit. 0.97

00:40:03.000 People are friendly. 0.98

00:40:04.000 Yeah.

00:40:05.000 This is going to be so easy to make, you know, to be.

00:40:07.000 And so I started a comedy, a funny bone opened up in South Bend.

00:40:12.000 I became like the house MC there and I would watch the national headliners come through.

00:40:16.000 Oh, that helps, right?

00:40:18.000 Tremendously.

00:40:18.000 And that's when I learned substance.

00:40:20.000 Like I was like, okay, I got to, I got to have something to say.

00:40:23.000 Isn't it interesting, too, if you would work at a place like that?

00:40:25.000 I remember how it was in Boston when I was first starting out.

00:40:29.000 If I was lucky, I'd get a hosting gig, and I would get you to see the quality of some people's material versus others.

00:40:37.000 You would see a guy coming in as a headliner, and you're like, really?

00:40:40.000 This is a headliner?

00:40:41.000 It was just like...

00:40:42.000 Barely adequate.

00:40:44.000 Barely.

00:40:44.000 And you'd watch them all weekend.

00:40:46.000 And you're like, this is a whack show.

00:40:48.000 And then the next week it'd be Bill Hicks or something. 1.00

00:40:50.000 And you'd be like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:40:51.000 Yeah, next level. 1.00

00:40:53.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:40:54.000 You realize it's the quality of your thinking.

00:40:58.000 People are tuning in to what you're saying in some sort of a weird way that hasn't totally been defined yet.

00:41:05.000 Yeah. 0.87

00:41:06.000 You know, and when someone is up there and they just got some great material, they got great shit, it's like it puts a smile on your face, like it gets, your brain lights up, like, ah, I like where he's going with this. 0.95

00:41:16.000 Yes, I love that. 0.95

00:41:17.000 I was like, oh, I didn't know you could do that with comedy.

00:41:19.000 I didn't know you could do that with the art form.

00:41:20.000 It is, it is like a, it's such a personal thing for me, like when I see somebody abusing it, I do get it like, ah.

00:41:26.000 But now that I'm a little older, I just go, ah, ah.

00:41:28.000 It doesn't affect me like it used to.

00:41:30.000 I used to be like, what are you doing, man?

00:41:31.000 I know what you mean.

00:41:32.000 Yeah, when I first started out, I would get offended by the pack material.

00:41:35.000 I'd get angry.

00:41:37.000 Yeah, I'm like, whatever.

00:41:40.000 Yeah, I think it's just you realize what's a waste of energy.

00:41:44.000 It's good to use that on yourself. 0.98

00:41:46.000 To look at your own material and go, ah, why the fuck am I doing this? 0.98

00:41:49.000 Ah, fix this. 0.99

00:41:50.000 That's going to benefit you.

00:41:51.000 But doing it to other people, it's just a waste.

00:41:53.000 Such a waste.

00:41:54.000 But yeah, I spent...

00:41:55.000 Some of my early 20s doing that.

00:41:56.000 Like, oh yeah, like I was telling you before we started, when you're talking about Australia, Franklin Ajayi was, because I used to...

00:42:04.000 So he lived there for a while?

00:42:05.000 He lived there, and I asked him, I go, why'd you move to Australia?

00:42:07.000 He said, no guns, no gangs, no God.

00:42:09.000 That's what he said.

00:42:10.000 Oh, wow.

00:42:11.000 But he said the money wasn't on part of what he could be making back in the States, so that's why he came back.

00:42:16.000 How long did he live there for?

00:42:18.000 Several years, but I don't know.

00:42:20.000 What year was this?

00:42:21.000 That he was there?

00:42:22.000 Yeah.

00:42:23.000 I don't know.

00:42:24.000 I remember I saw him back in the 2000s.

00:42:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:28.000 Then he just went over there.

00:42:31.000 But I remember the first comedy album I heard of his is a picture of him.

00:42:35.000 I can't think of what the name of it is, but I was listening to it because I was in Oklahoma.

00:42:41.000 I can't remember the other comic I was with.

00:42:43.000 At that time, I used to go to flea markets to buy albums.

00:42:46.000 And we listened to it at his spot and we smoked some weed and we were listening to it.

00:42:50.000 And I was like, he's high.

00:42:53.000 Like, you can tell he's high on this album.

00:42:57.000 I was like, I didn't know you could do that.

00:42:58.000 Like, that's crazy.

00:43:01.000 He is so high.

00:43:02.000 Not that one.

00:43:03.000 I'm a comedian, seriously.

00:43:05.000 Yeah, this dude.

00:43:05.000 But he was the first comedian.

00:43:10.000 The one up there with the shirt off.

00:43:12.000 That's the album we listened to.

00:43:14.000 Yeah.

00:43:14.000 That album right there.

00:43:17.000 Yeah.

00:43:17.000 Don't smoke dope, fry your hair.

00:43:20.000 Yeah.

00:43:21.000 What?

00:43:22.000 It's funny, man.

00:43:23.000 Don't smoke dope, fry your hair.

00:43:24.000 What a strange name for an album.

00:43:25.000 It's weird.

00:43:25.000 Yeah, but you could tell he was high.

00:43:27.000 He was a funny dude, man.

00:43:29.000 Funny dude.

00:43:29.000 I remember that bit he did about the Olympics.

00:43:31.000 He was on like one of those...

00:43:32.000 Yeah.

00:43:32.000 It was a young comedian special, I think.

00:43:34.000 Yeah.

00:43:35.000 Is that what it was?

00:43:35.000 Yeah.

00:43:36.000 And he did that too.

00:43:36.000 He goes, watch the Olympics, watch the dude who comes in last.

00:43:39.000 Yeah.

00:43:40.000 Why did I train for this?

00:43:42.000 I trained for four years. 0.99

00:43:44.000 And then reality starts saying, man, I don't even have a fucking job. 0.99

00:43:51.000 I could have not trained and still came in last. 0.99

00:43:54.000 He's fantastic.

00:43:54.000 He was the first black comedian I heard who didn't grow up.

00:44:00.000 His shtick wasn't, I grew up poor.

00:44:02.000 He was like middle class.

00:44:04.000 He went to law school and he just talked about it.

00:44:07.000 I go, oh, you could talk about that?

00:44:08.000 Because when I first started, a lot of comedians taking the stage, they all felt like they had to fit into this.

00:44:14.000 It was a thing that just happened.

00:44:15.000 But then when you talk to them offstage, it's like, You're way more interested in Offstate.

00:44:19.000 Why don't you talk about that?

00:44:20.000 Can you talk about that?

00:44:21.000 Do you think it was because they felt like they had to fit the mold of the popular comedians?

00:44:26.000 I think so. 0.99

00:44:27.000 People wanted a certain kind of comedian and they felt like, oh, I got to talk about the shit that people want to hear. 0.99

00:44:31.000 I think so. 0.98

00:44:31.000 That's how you make it? 0.98

00:44:32.000 I think so.

00:44:32.000 And then if you stay in it long enough, you start to just go...

00:44:36.000 Because for a time, I had an act for a black room and an act for a white room. 0.67

00:44:40.000 And it just got exhausting.

00:44:42.000 I used to be physical.

00:44:44.000 And I was like, oh, my knees, man.

00:44:47.000 I don't even stand here and talk to these people.

00:44:49.000 Like, you just kind of become what you, you know, already were.

00:44:53.000 That's why those people that work those alt rooms get in real trouble when they come to a real comedy club.

00:44:57.000 You ever see that?

00:44:58.000 Yeah, man.

00:44:59.000 It's fantastic.

00:45:00.000 I've seen some people in alt rooms go to the store and follow Joey Diaz, and it is horrendous.

00:45:06.000 It's horrendous.

00:45:07.000 Because they're just used to witty references and clever subject matter.

00:45:14.000 It's yes and comedy.

00:45:16.000 Most people are so supportive.

00:45:17.000 Very supportive.

00:45:18.000 Which is nice.

00:45:19.000 It's nice to have that.

00:45:20.000 But there are also timid audiences too, right? 0.99

00:45:24.000 If Joey Diaz went there, they'd be like, what the fuck? 0.98

00:45:28.000 Why are you bringing the outside world? 0.99

00:45:30.000 We like our little bubble.

00:45:34.000 They had an alt scene, man.

00:45:35.000 I liked the fact that they were like, I can't get any heat over here, so I'm going to go create this over here.

00:45:41.000 But once it started taking off, I didn't like that they were...

00:45:46.000 It became a...

00:45:47.000 It was us against them. 0.53

00:45:48.000 Yeah, I was like, yo, we all trying to... 0.98

00:45:50.000 Yeah, there was a lot of shitting on people that try too hard, which I was like, what? 0.98

00:45:55.000 He's acting out things and moving around. 0.98

00:45:57.000 Oh, you mean he's being entertaining?

00:45:58.000 He's selling a joke, right?

00:45:59.000 He's being funny?

00:46:00.000 You don't want that.

00:46:01.000 I get it.

00:46:02.000 That's kind of what people like.

00:46:03.000 Yeah, people get weird about what they're doing.

00:46:06.000 Like, you should only do what I'm doing.

00:46:08.000 That's more, we're talking, it's a waste of energy.

00:46:11.000 It's a waste of energy.

00:46:12.000 Why?

00:46:13.000 Why?

00:46:13.000 Why do you care?

00:46:15.000 Dude, you were talking about Tony Woods. 0.83

00:46:16.000 Tony Woods, I met Tony way back in New York in like 92 or some shit like that. 0.98

00:46:22.000 He was fucking funny, man. 0.97

00:46:24.000 Still is. 0.96

00:46:25.000 I'm sure he is, but there's a few dudes like him and even Franklin Ajayi.

00:46:28.000 Most people don't know who Franklin Ajayi is.

00:46:30.000 How does that...

00:46:31.000 Car wash.

00:46:32.000 Yeah, but how'd that guy not, like, who takes off and who doesn't?

00:46:36.000 How's that work?

00:46:37.000 I'm trying to figure it out, brother.

00:46:39.000 Yeah.

00:46:40.000 I don't know.

00:46:41.000 I don't know his whole story, man.

00:46:43.000 I know for a lot of comedians who are mad funny, usually marriage or divorce is where they...

00:46:50.000 Gets them.

00:46:51.000 Gets them.

00:46:53.000 Divorce usually.

00:46:54.000 Gets them.

00:46:55.000 Takes the happy away.

00:46:57.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:46:57.000 You gotta pay someone who's fucking some other dude. 0.99

00:47:00.000 You gotta keep sending them checks every month. 1.00

00:47:05.000 And you get to see your ex-wife and you pick up your kid and your kid's like, Mom says you're a loser. 1.00

00:47:11.000 What? 1.00

00:47:12.000 What? 1.00

00:47:13.000 The fuck? 1.00

00:47:14.000 Mom says you ruined everything. 1.00

00:47:16.000 Mom says you can't pay your bills.

00:47:17.000 What?

00:47:18.000 Mom says you need to get a regular job and stop chasing your dream.

00:47:20.000 What? 1.00

00:47:21.000 Yeah, all that shit right there. 1.00

00:47:23.000 Divorce will fuck you up. 1.00

00:47:24.000 I think if you marry the right person, it can make you better. 0.99

00:47:29.000 That's what's happening with me, my wife.

00:47:30.000 I like my wife. 0.60

00:47:32.000 Yeah, that's a nice thing.

00:47:33.000 It's important.

00:47:33.000 Yeah, I like mine too.

00:47:35.000 I think that helps.

00:47:36.000 It definitely can make you more stable, more comfortable, and you learn more about yourself when you're totally intimate with a person.

00:47:45.000 Yeah, man.

00:47:46.000 Someone really knows you.

00:47:47.000 Yeah, I want to thank you for the compliment you gave me.

00:47:51.000 I had my wife listen to it first because someone said that you mentioned me.

00:47:55.000 And I'm always nervous when I... I was like, I don't know what Joe said!

00:48:01.000 And so my wife said, baby, listen to it.

00:48:03.000 So we listened to it.

00:48:04.000 And I was like, oh, that's dope.

00:48:05.000 And I said, oh, he said top 20, baby.

00:48:07.000 And my wife goes, you knew that already.

00:48:08.000 And I was like, ah!

00:48:13.000 You are, though, man.

00:48:14.000 But I can't say it.

00:48:14.000 I can't say it.

00:48:15.000 I said, I think you're one of the top 20 guys in the world.

00:48:18.000 Thank you, man.

00:48:18.000 I really do.

00:48:18.000 That makes me feel good.

00:48:19.000 That makes it...

00:48:20.000 It's so funny, man.

00:48:23.000 So many...

00:48:24.000 I'm doing...

00:48:25.000 I'm going to be doing...

00:48:27.000 Like...

00:48:30.000 Some things that I've always wanted to do years ago, but I didn't know to ask for it, right?

00:48:36.000 That was the thing I always thought that people would see your work and then go, hey!

00:48:41.000 Well, what happened with you, I think, is you started working as a writer.

00:48:44.000 Yeah.

00:48:45.000 That's when they give you a job, and then you think, like, this is what I do now.

00:48:50.000 But that job, there's no free ride.

00:48:54.000 Like, to get that money for that job is nice, and it gives you stability, but it takes away from the potential earning of your stand-up.

00:49:01.000 And then the dude that you started out with, they're balling out of control.

00:49:05.000 They're selling out places, and people don't know who you are.

00:49:07.000 That, to me, is crazy.

00:49:08.000 When I see you on stage, I'm like, this guy is a world-class headliner.

00:49:13.000 Like, everybody should know Owen Smith.

00:49:14.000 Yeah.

00:49:15.000 You know, and so it just drives me nuts.

00:49:17.000 We're working on it, man.

00:49:18.000 We're working on it.

00:49:19.000 And I've been trying with Ian Edwards, too.

00:49:21.000 Same exact story as you.

00:49:23.000 Same exact story.

00:49:24.000 Yeah.

00:49:25.000 I remember when he had long dreads.

00:49:28.000 Yes, I remember the dreads.

00:49:29.000 I love his.

00:49:31.000 What I was just describing, his is documented on camera.

00:49:34.000 Like, Ian used to yell at the audience.

00:49:37.000 Like, you know, what was his bid on Def Jam?

00:49:39.000 He used to be mad at AT&T, son.

00:49:42.000 Like, he was like, that's how they get you!

00:49:45.000 Like, he used to be, like, yelling, they get you, and then I'm not falling for it.

00:49:49.000 Like, he was like, and I was like, oh, and then when he cut his dreads, he was, like, more centered, more zen, just standing there talking.

00:49:55.000 I was like...

00:49:55.000 Well, then he became vegan, and now he falls asleep constantly, so he has no energy.

00:50:00.000 When I get on the plane with him, I just take pictures of him.

00:50:02.000 I have, like, ten pictures on my phone of Ian, out cold.

00:50:05.000 Passed out.

00:50:06.000 He gets on the plane.

00:50:07.000 As soon as he sits down, he's like...

00:50:09.000 Like, instantly. 1.00

00:50:10.000 And I'm like, I got this motherfucker. 1.00

00:50:12.000 I can, like, write his face and take pictures of him. 1.00

00:50:14.000 That's hilarious.

00:50:15.000 And then I send him to him with a bunch of Zs on it. 1.00

00:50:17.000 That's funny.

00:50:18.000 I do that too, though, man.

00:50:19.000 But I trained myself to go to sleep on a plane.

00:50:22.000 Yeah?

00:50:22.000 Yeah.

00:50:23.000 It's just kind of a thing.

00:50:24.000 Like, when I'm on a plane, I just make myself go to sleep.

00:50:27.000 I don't know where I got it from.

00:50:28.000 It's a good move.

00:50:29.000 Yeah.

00:50:29.000 It'll definitely make flying easier.

00:50:31.000 If you can get really comfortable with just falling on, you know, like, especially those six-hour across-the-country flights.

00:50:36.000 Yeah, I'm out.

00:50:36.000 Just conk out.

00:50:37.000 I'm out.

00:50:37.000 Wake up.

00:50:38.000 You feel refreshed.

00:50:39.000 Yeah, I'm about to take the first move of my son now that he can walk now, so I won't be able to sleep.

00:50:45.000 I know he's going to be that kid.

00:50:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:50:47.000 He's going to be that kid.

00:50:48.000 Yeah, run up and down the aisles.

00:50:51.000 Getting mad if you try to hold on to him.

00:50:52.000 I kind of look forward to it, though, but I'm like, ah.

00:50:56.000 Yeah.

00:50:56.000 It's sad when they get earaches and they start crying and then you can't do anything about them.

00:51:00.000 I mean, you can't help them.

00:51:02.000 There's nothing you can tell them.

00:51:04.000 Sometimes things to chew helps.

00:51:06.000 Okay, that's good to know.

00:51:08.000 Sometimes gummy bears or something that they have to chew, it'll help pop their ears open.

00:51:13.000 I got my kid these vitamin gummy bears.

00:51:16.000 They're gummy bears, but they're made out of essential fatty acids.

00:51:20.000 They have vitamins in them.

00:51:21.000 They can chew it.

00:51:22.000 Yeah, they can chew it. 1.00

00:51:23.000 My son don't chew shit right now. 1.00

00:51:25.000 He eats everything. 1.00

00:51:27.000 I'm like, you gotta chew it, man.

00:51:29.000 Come on, one at a time.

00:51:32.000 14 months old, man.

00:51:33.000 They don't know anything yet.

00:51:34.000 It's fascinating, isn't it?

00:51:35.000 It's the best.

00:51:38.000 You learn a lot about yourself, man.

00:51:40.000 I'll tell you that.

00:51:40.000 You learn that you're enough.

00:51:42.000 It's the biggest lesson.

00:51:43.000 It's like, I'm enough.

00:51:44.000 I walk in the door and say, hey!

00:51:46.000 I don't have to...

00:51:48.000 Put on a show for him?

00:51:49.000 No.

00:51:49.000 Like, my wife says when he hears my voice, he lights up, like, if I call him, you know, on the phone.

00:51:53.000 Oh, that's awesome.

00:51:53.000 And so, yeah, I just like talking to him.

00:51:55.000 Sometimes, when I first had him, I didn't know what to say to him, so I would just do old, like, hip-hop lyrics.

00:52:00.000 I don't know what to say to this kid.

00:52:02.000 I'm just rapping stuff. 0.99

00:52:03.000 Who the hell is this? 0.61

00:52:05.000 Page me at 546 in the morning. 0.95

00:52:06.000 Crack-a-dawning.

00:52:07.000 Now I'm yawning.

00:52:08.000 And then he would be like, what?

00:52:12.000 I don't know what to say there, man.

00:52:14.000 And then I just started, I would talk to him about my day sometimes.

00:52:18.000 And it's cool, man.

00:52:19.000 It's a very weird feeling to see a little tiny human being that's dependent upon you.

00:52:22.000 Yeah.

00:52:23.000 It changes your perception of the world.

00:52:24.000 Everything.

00:52:25.000 And it's also like all of us were that age.

00:52:27.000 So it's kind of weird when I look at adults.

00:52:30.000 I'm like, man, you were 14 months old.

00:52:31.000 Yeah.

00:52:32.000 Well, I talk about that all the time that I look at people as grown up babies now.

00:52:36.000 Yeah.

00:52:36.000 I used to look at people in a static state, like I'd see an 80-year-old dude.

00:52:39.000 That's an 80-year-old dude.

00:52:40.000 That's how he is, how he's always been.

00:52:42.000 No, he was a baby.

00:52:44.000 Yes.

00:52:44.000 And he became this guy.

00:52:45.000 Yeah, and he had dreams, and he tried shit, and did it work, and did it not work. 0.96

00:52:49.000 Yeah, I'm fascinated by people's stories. 0.98

00:52:52.000 Yeah, the shattered dreams and people with failed expectations are some of the saddest people you're ever going to meet.

00:52:57.000 If they just, for whatever reason, it didn't work, they didn't figure it out.

00:53:00.000 Whatever mental block, whatever the problem was, they just never figured it out.

00:53:04.000 Yeah, and that's when those charlatans sneak in that pretend to be able to sell them.

00:53:09.000 All you gotta do is...

00:53:11.000 What you gotta do is push harder.

00:53:13.000 You gotta dream big, and you gotta set your goals!

00:53:16.000 Yeah, this guy's speaking to me.

00:53:17.000 With an easy workshop that we're gonna have down here.

00:53:19.000 Pay me $1,300.

00:53:21.000 Yeah.

00:53:21.000 We're gonna have a workshop and talk about it.

00:53:23.000 I'm gonna get out there and I'm gonna...

00:53:25.000 We're all going to join along!

00:53:26.000 Clap together!

00:53:27.000 Come on! 0.61

00:53:28.000 We're going to walk on coals!

00:53:30.000 Hot coals, barefoot! 0.99

00:53:33.000 Yes, that's how they get you, man. 1.00

00:53:35.000 Yeah, the motivational speaking marketplace is a saturated cesspool of most people in it having accomplished jack shit. 0.99

00:53:45.000 Most of them. 0.99

00:53:46.000 Most of them, their accomplishment is that they're motivational speakers.

00:53:49.000 I know a comedian who's a terrible comedian.

00:53:51.000 I know who you're thinking of.

00:53:53.000 He's doing it now.

00:53:54.000 Yes, I know.

00:53:55.000 And you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

00:53:57.000 Yes. 1.00

00:53:58.000 Cut the shit, motherfucker. 1.00

00:54:00.000 And when you meet him, when you see him out, he's always flinchy a little bit. 1.00

00:54:04.000 You know, he's flinchy like a dude with a side family.

00:54:14.000 Why that dude's so flinchy?

00:54:15.000 Oh, we had a side family.

00:54:17.000 Okay, I get it.

00:54:18.000 Oh, man, that's a lot of pressure.

00:54:19.000 That's a lot of pressure.

00:54:20.000 Yeah, I know that, Kent.

00:54:21.000 Good luck, man.

00:54:22.000 Hope it works out.

00:54:23.000 Yeah, there's a lot of those guys out there listening to this.

00:54:25.000 I would like to say I might have...

00:54:30.000 Be responsible a little bit.

00:54:31.000 And this is very...

00:54:32.000 I'm literally...

00:54:34.000 This may not be true.

00:54:36.000 But we did a show together a long time ago.

00:54:39.000 And it was a college gig.

00:54:41.000 And the college gigs, they make you both do an hour.

00:54:43.000 They don't know how to just go, hey man, you do a half.

00:54:45.000 Right.

00:54:46.000 And so he was hotter as far as credits because he had, you know, Comedy Central.

00:54:51.000 Loved this guy.

00:54:52.000 And they were like, so they were like, Owen, you go first.

00:54:57.000 And I could see in his eyes.

00:54:59.000 Ah!

00:55:00.000 Death! 1.00

00:55:01.000 And I was like, it was like one of those quiet things where I go, you know how you go, I'm going to do, I'm going to destroy this shit. 0.99

00:55:08.000 Yeah, because sometimes, if it's somebody you like, you'll do all right. 0.99

00:55:10.000 And then they come...

00:55:12.000 I was like, let me go ahead and just show this dude what this could really be.

00:55:17.000 I'm telling you, it was...

00:55:19.000 Look, dude.

00:55:22.000 Look.

00:55:22.000 58 minutes, 59 minutes.

00:55:23.000 Thank you.

00:55:24.000 Good night.

00:55:24.000 Just left.

00:55:25.000 Gave him a great intro or whatever.

00:55:29.000 Like, I saw him reevaluate, and I think, I feel like at that moment, he was like, yeah.

00:55:35.000 There's gotta be another method.

00:55:36.000 Yeah.

00:55:36.000 He probably had, like, another two-year run, like, you know, but that...

00:55:40.000 I was at a vegan restaurant that I eat at occasionally, and this dude was in there with all of these people that he works with.

00:55:47.000 They meet together in this restaurant.

00:55:49.000 Yeah.

00:55:49.000 I saw him at a raw food spot before.

00:55:52.000 Yeah.

00:55:53.000 Yeah.

00:55:53.000 He came up to me when I was with my daughter once, and he's like, I'd just love to talk to you about a transformative experience that I've had.

00:55:59.000 I really would love to get on your podcast. 0.99

00:56:01.000 I'm like, get the fuck out of here, man. 0.98

00:56:04.000 That's so funny, man. 0.96

00:56:06.000 A transformative experience.

00:56:08.000 Okay.

00:56:09.000 I believe you.

00:56:10.000 Yeah, man.

00:56:10.000 Hey, man.

00:56:11.000 You know.

00:56:12.000 Good luck.

00:56:12.000 People doing things.

00:56:14.000 People are doing things, but there's a real problem with people that are just motivators.

00:56:19.000 Yeah.

00:56:19.000 That's all they're doing.

00:56:20.000 Yeah.

00:56:20.000 All you're doing is motivating.

00:56:22.000 And there's a lot of them, man.

00:56:23.000 There's a lot of them. 1.00

00:56:24.000 I'm always getting these fucking memes from people. 0.99

00:56:27.000 I'm like, who's this guy? 0.99

00:56:28.000 Then I'll go to his page.

00:56:29.000 It's all filled with memes.

00:56:30.000 And then, you know, like, you look at it.

00:56:31.000 They're like, he's a motivational speaker.

00:56:33.000 Oh, you're a motivational speaker.

00:56:34.000 What have you done?

00:56:35.000 It's weird to be a motivational speaker who's never done a thing.

00:56:41.000 Done a thing, yeah.

00:56:42.000 Like, you have to...

00:56:43.000 Start a company or become a something.

00:56:47.000 Life coaches.

00:56:48.000 Same kind of thing, yeah.

00:56:50.000 It's really weird.

00:56:51.000 But the weird thing is some of them, like, there are trainers that have never had professional fights and they're great trainers.

00:56:57.000 Ah, okay.

00:56:58.000 But they have studied the game, like, so deeply.

00:57:01.000 They understand all the various aspects of the game.

00:57:03.000 Right.

00:57:04.000 And then they become just really good at it.

00:57:06.000 They become really good at coaching.

00:57:08.000 Because they're, like, real legitimate analysts.

00:57:10.000 Right.

00:57:10.000 Is that possible to do with life?

00:57:12.000 Can you be a person who has never really accomplished much in terms of nothing creatively?

00:57:19.000 You're not some world champion dude.

00:57:21.000 You're not some guy who's gone out there and accomplished great things.

00:57:24.000 You're not like Sebastian Junger, a war journalist.

00:57:27.000 You're just some guy who's like, what you gotta do is realize that you face fear in the eyes.

00:57:33.000 You tell fear.

00:57:34.000 Your true nature of your soul.

00:57:37.000 It's the approach, man.

00:57:40.000 You can't tell people what they have to do.

00:57:42.000 But I feel like you're a bigger motivator than a motivational speaker because you motivate by example.

00:57:51.000 But you just motivate by doing you.

00:57:52.000 You see what I'm saying?

00:57:53.000 Like, that's more motivational than telling people, I'm going to tell you how I do what I do.

00:58:00.000 It's like, I don't want to...

00:58:01.000 I just...

00:58:01.000 Oh, Joe did that?

00:58:02.000 Oh, that's dope. 0.94

00:58:03.000 Then, you know what I mean?

00:58:04.000 So you go, okay.

00:58:05.000 Joe comes from comedy. 1.00

00:58:07.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:58:07.000 Okay. 1.00

00:58:08.000 All right.

00:58:08.000 If he did...

00:58:09.000 All right.

00:58:09.000 I mean, what am I not doing?

00:58:11.000 You know what I mean?

00:58:12.000 Like, to me, that's more motivational than...

00:58:14.000 That's how I feel about people too.

00:58:15.000 Coming to my front door.

00:58:16.000 Yeah.

00:58:17.000 And...

00:58:18.000 You know what I mean?

00:58:19.000 But you know what?

00:58:20.000 People are always looking for some sort of a shortcut.

00:58:24.000 You know?

00:58:25.000 And sometimes people can give you...

00:58:27.000 I have C.T. Fletcher, who I had yesterday on the podcast.

00:58:31.000 But he's a six-time world champion powerlifter. 1.00

00:58:34.000 And when he talks about hard work and dedication and, you know, like, fuck your excuses. 1.00

00:58:38.000 You're like, okay, fuck my excuses. 1.00

00:58:40.000 It makes sense. 1.00

00:58:41.000 You believe him.

00:58:43.000 But I think there's a lot of people out there that want to be that guy, but they don't want to do that kind of work.

00:58:48.000 They don't want to accomplish some great task before they go out and do all this motivational stuff. 1.00

00:58:54.000 First of all, they want that hippie pussy. 1.00

00:58:57.000 That's what they want. 1.00

00:58:58.000 What if that's the secret?

00:59:00.000 That's what they want.

00:59:01.000 That's what a lot of it is.

00:59:02.000 You want those girls who are trying to improve themselves. 1.00

00:59:04.000 I'm just trying to be more spiritual.

00:59:06.000 Me too. 1.00

00:59:07.000 Vulnerable pussy. 1.00

00:59:08.000 Vulnerable pussy. 1.00

00:59:09.000 It's not just vulnerable, it's seeking. 1.00

00:59:11.000 Seeking pussy. 1.00

00:59:12.000 I'm seeking. 1.00

00:59:12.000 Like yoga girls. 1.00

00:59:14.000 Dude, yoga girls. 1.00

00:59:15.000 There are so many freaks in the yoga community. 1.00

00:59:19.000 You know what's so funny?

00:59:21.000 I'm so...

00:59:23.000 I'm so above board.

00:59:25.000 I go to yoga, and I do my thing, and then I'll look, but I'm like, I don't even know how to make this my spot.

00:59:35.000 You know what I mean?

00:59:36.000 Some guys, yeah, let's go to yoga.

00:59:38.000 I heard one of my yoga teachers hit on a student, and the line was so lame.

00:59:45.000 He said...

00:59:47.000 I feel like I've practiced...

00:59:49.000 What did he say?

00:59:51.000 What are you always trying to reach in yoga? 1.00

00:59:54.000 Whatever that shit is. 0.99

00:59:55.000 I feel like I've practiced something, something, something with you before. 0.99

01:00:00.000 And she goes, yeah, it does feel like that.

01:00:02.000 It was the standard line.

01:00:03.000 It was so terrible.

01:00:06.000 They started talking. 1.00

01:00:07.000 He had his hair and shit. 1.00

01:00:09.000 And I was like, there it is. 0.99

01:00:10.000 I could never...

01:00:12.000 That's not my thing, man.

01:00:13.000 But yeah, yoga is...

01:00:15.000 Yeah, when people talk about the practice...

01:00:17.000 Yeah.

01:00:17.000 And they say, that was an amazing practice.

01:00:19.000 I can't talk to you!

01:00:20.000 Yes, yes.

01:00:20.000 I feel like I've practiced.

01:00:22.000 I forgot what they said.

01:00:23.000 I just wanted to. 0.95

01:00:25.000 But I'm not a cock blocker. 0.97

01:00:26.000 I feel like I've practiced Shavasana. 0.93

01:00:28.000 It was something like that.

01:00:29.000 On a mat before.

01:00:31.000 The Astanias.

01:00:34.000 How do you say that?

01:00:35.000 Oh, yeah.

01:00:35.000 What is it?

01:00:36.000 What's the word?

01:00:37.000 I just take them to class.

01:00:38.000 I don't know.

01:00:39.000 Yeah, man.

01:00:40.000 We did this thing.

01:00:41.000 How often do you go?

01:00:43.000 The once a week thing? 0.76

01:00:44.000 I try to keep it no less than once a week, but I fucked up since I did Sober October.

01:00:52.000 We had 15 classes that we had to do in a month. 0.97

01:00:55.000 Did I tell you about this?

01:00:56.000 Me, Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer, and Ari Shafir, we made an agreement.

01:01:01.000 No pot, no booze, 15 hot yoga classes, 90 minute hot yoga classes in a month.

01:01:07.000 It was rough, but it broke me.

01:01:09.000 It broke me in terms of my enthusiasm for yoga.

01:01:13.000 I'm like, enough!

01:01:14.000 Because what really broke me was not just the 15 classes, I could have done that, but I did nine in a row to end it.

01:01:19.000 Wow!

01:01:21.000 That's too much. 0.99

01:01:22.000 I had some days after that too that I couldn't, but I was like, no, I'm going to burn this shit out. 0.98

01:01:25.000 I'm just going to bang it out nine in a row. 0.97

01:01:27.000 I was going Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

01:01:31.000 But when it was over, it felt good.

01:01:34.000 Yeah, it felt good, right?

01:01:35.000 I did it.

01:01:36.000 When Russell Simmons gave me a month free at his Tantra's yoga spot.

01:01:42.000 Wait, he does Tantric yoga?

01:01:43.000 Tantris.

01:01:44.000 Tantris.

01:01:45.000 What's that?

01:01:45.000 What's the difference?

01:01:47.000 Tantric is where you hold your comeback, right? 1.00

01:01:49.000 Squeeze your dick hole. 1.00

01:01:50.000 I thought that was six. 1.00

01:01:50.000 You're like, get that! 1.00

01:01:52.000 Now you'll last longer.

01:01:54.000 There's dudes that do that all day. 0.99

01:01:55.000 They just, at their job, they squeeze their dick muscle. 0.99

01:02:02.000 That's like the weakest muscle I have in my body. 0.99

01:02:05.000 If you just squeeze, hold the comeback muscle.

01:02:11.000 Use that right now.

01:02:12.000 Just try to plant that down right now.

01:02:14.000 Ready?

01:02:14.000 Go!

01:02:15.000 Does that feel so spongy and weak?

01:02:18.000 Like if I have to squeeze my arms, like my choke muscles, like...

01:02:22.000 Yeah, you could do that. 0.98

01:02:22.000 I feel like I could choke the fuck out of somebody right now. 0.98

01:02:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:02:25.000 But like choke my own dick with my inner dick muscles, like... 1.00

01:02:29.000 This is nothing. 1.00

01:02:31.000 It's like, I'm so tired, I'm so weak.

01:02:34.000 Jesus!

01:02:35.000 Don't move!

01:02:37.000 Don't move!

01:02:39.000 Those muscles have zero conditioning.

01:02:42.000 I remember somebody told me. 1.00

01:02:46.000 You know how you do dumb shit? 0.99

01:02:48.000 I don't know if you ever did this, but somebody told me if you press on that area really hard for a couple of seconds that it won't do it. 1.00

01:02:55.000 Right, that you won't come. 0.99

01:02:56.000 And I tried that shit before. 0.99

01:02:58.000 It didn't work. 1.00

01:02:59.000 Garden hose. 1.00

01:03:01.000 You're basically choking out your dick. 1.00

01:03:03.000 You're choking it out. 1.00

01:03:04.000 You gotta just get a gable grip and go down there and smash the base of your dick like you're choking. 1.00

01:03:10.000 I just come and apologize after that. 1.00

01:03:14.000 I was like, hey, I got what I wanted.

01:03:16.000 I'm sorry, man.

01:03:17.000 Give me 20 minutes.

01:03:18.000 Well, we were reading about male kegels once.

01:03:21.000 Like, male kegels. 0.94

01:03:22.000 And I'm like, listen, I don't hear what anybody says. 1.00

01:03:24.000 This is to tighten up your butthole for butt sex. 1.00

01:03:26.000 But they're not talking about that. 1.00

01:03:28.000 They're, like, sort of dancing around that.

01:03:30.000 Like, all the benefits of male kegels.

01:03:32.000 Like, you can control your bowels better.

01:03:34.000 Control your bowels better.

01:03:36.000 What do you mean better?

01:03:37.000 Like, who's out of...

01:03:38.000 I mean, it's one thing you've got diarrhea.

01:03:40.000 But regular control of the bowels is pretty much 100%.

01:03:42.000 Yeah, it's out.

01:03:43.000 It's coming out.

01:03:44.000 I know what I'm doing.

01:03:45.000 Oh, man.

01:03:46.000 Oh, you know what's crazy?

01:03:48.000 So, this is nasty, but...

01:03:51.000 So, I'm the only child, right? 0.99

01:03:54.000 So, growing up, like, shit would happen to me, and I would just be like, well, what the fuck is that? 0.99

01:03:58.000 So, when I take, like, really good shits, like, I cry, like, out of one eye for some reason. 0.99

01:04:05.000 And I'm like, why is this happening? 0.98

01:04:07.000 So, but this is when it worked at my advantage.

01:04:09.000 My son...

01:04:11.000 He was doing something and me and my wife couldn't figure it out. 1.00

01:04:14.000 And then one tear was, I go, oh, he's taking a shit. 0.99

01:04:16.000 He gets that from me. 1.00

01:04:18.000 Wow.

01:04:19.000 And it was accurate. 1.00

01:04:20.000 He had the shit and something was going on. 0.99

01:04:22.000 And so then we helped him and adjusted him. 1.00

01:04:24.000 And my wife, if she watched it, she'll find out. 0.99

01:04:28.000 She does not know that about me.

01:04:30.000 Now she knows.

01:04:31.000 But that's how I was able to crack that mystery, because everything is a mystery.

01:04:35.000 And I go, what's he doing?

01:04:36.000 He was just sitting there, but he had this look on his face. 1.00

01:04:39.000 See, it came out like, holy shit! 0.99

01:04:43.000 I just passed that on to my feet! 1.00

01:04:45.000 Oh, that's so crazy.

01:04:47.000 Yeah.

01:04:48.000 What a random thing.

01:04:49.000 Isn't that a random thing, man?

01:04:50.000 Like, it's so crazy.

01:04:52.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:04:53.000 I don't know, man.

01:04:54.000 That's so strange.

01:04:56.000 Yeah, it's so crazy, man.

01:04:57.000 It's weird how the body works.

01:04:59.000 Like, sometimes I'll just be driving down the street and a tear will roll down my cheek.

01:05:02.000 I'm like, I'm not even sad.

01:05:03.000 Yeah.

01:05:03.000 I'm not happy.

01:05:04.000 I'm not sad.

01:05:05.000 Why am I crying?

01:05:06.000 It has come down.

01:05:06.000 Sometimes it's just leaking.

01:05:07.000 Right.

01:05:08.000 It's amazing.

01:05:09.000 Man, you know what else my body does?

01:05:13.000 If I'm in a room and I'm supposed to be awake, you ever get sleepy sometimes?

01:05:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:05:17.000 If I get sleepy, my dick will get hard. 1.00

01:05:20.000 It's like my dick is to a lookout. 1.00

01:05:23.000 My dick is like, I got it. 1.00

01:05:25.000 Well, he's not paying attention. 1.00

01:05:25.000 You're taking that. 1.00

01:05:26.000 Right.

01:05:27.000 Scanning the area.

01:05:29.000 Well, sometimes I'll be in writer's rooms and I'll get sleepy. 0.99

01:05:32.000 And my dick will start getting hard. 1.00

01:05:34.000 I go, oh, fuck. 1.00

01:05:34.000 So then I'll try to go to the bathroom to throw water on my face. 1.00

01:05:37.000 But now I'm slightly, like, erect getting up.

01:05:39.000 So I'm making sure nobody's looking at me.

01:05:41.000 Right.

01:05:41.000 Like some freak.

01:05:42.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:05:43.000 So I'm, like, always pulling my shit down. 0.99

01:05:46.000 Isn't that funny? 0.99

01:05:46.000 Like, everybody knows... 0.99

01:05:48.000 You get an erection. 0.99

01:05:49.000 Everybody knows you get erections, right? 1.00

01:05:51.000 But if you get an erection near them, like, what the fuck is going on over here? 1.00

01:05:56.000 Whoops. 1.00

01:05:57.000 I know.

01:05:57.000 I had a boner, sorry.

01:05:58.000 Sorry, it's human nature.

01:06:00.000 Yeah, but you can't, especially in a mixed company. 1.00

01:06:02.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:06:03.000 Especially today.

01:06:04.000 Nah, you can't do that today, man.

01:06:06.000 Just think about all the sexual harassment that people just sort of like, that was the way they behaved.

01:06:13.000 Yeah!

01:06:14.000 In the office.

01:06:15.000 That was their thing.

01:06:16.000 And now you can't do that anymore.

01:06:19.000 It was why they went to the office.

01:06:20.000 They couldn't wait to get to work to chase whomever was there. 0.99

01:06:24.000 Pinch the secretary on her butt. 1.00

01:06:26.000 I mean, my mom had a thing like that when I was a kid. 0.99

01:06:31.000 I didn't understand it, but somebody was...

01:06:34.000 She needed the job.

01:06:35.000 So what I will say to...

01:06:38.000 Women watching. 0.98

01:06:39.000 What my mom did is she just kept elaborate notes because she knew it was going to be his word against hers.

01:06:46.000 And predators don't keep notes, man.

01:06:49.000 They don't keep notes.

01:06:51.000 So my mom was like...

01:06:53.000 October 8th, she was protected.

01:06:58.000 Wow.

01:06:59.000 Don't try to go off memory like that.

01:07:01.000 Even if you keep notes, man, it's still you against them.

01:07:05.000 Yeah, it still is.

01:07:06.000 Especially if they're the boss back then.

01:07:08.000 It was like, whoa, but still.

01:07:09.000 Because that's how...

01:07:11.000 Who, I think, who had, somebody else had, the Weinstein thing, somebody kept, like, notes.

01:07:16.000 And that's why, I mean, because when you have a lot of money, you can definitely litigate it.

01:07:21.000 Like, I'm going to sue and da-da-da. 1.00

01:07:22.000 But when somebody, you know, and I think all his legal team looked at it, they were like, you better go to Europe for some deep counseling.

01:07:28.000 Yeah, deep.

01:07:29.000 However they, you know.

01:07:31.000 Europe counseling is a different level.

01:07:33.000 I have to leave this continent.

01:07:35.000 Right, right.

01:07:35.000 Get my head on straight.

01:07:37.000 I'm going to stay over here.

01:07:38.000 Yeah.

01:07:38.000 To be able to do that is crazy.

01:07:41.000 Well, if you look at the Kevin Spacey thing, that's how he would run a set, apparently. 0.97

01:07:47.000 He'd be on the set and he'd just be grabbing dicks on the set. 0.96

01:07:49.000 Are you serious? 0.99

01:07:50.000 Yeah, that's what they were all saying. 0.99

01:07:52.000 I mean, I don't know if that's the truth, but all the people in the House of Cards set, this is what all the complaints were coming out, was that he would grab guys' dicks that were taken in places, and he'd have a PA that had to take him somewhere, reach in his pants and grab his dick. 1.00

01:08:04.000 He was just a dick grabber. 1.00

01:08:06.000 A dick grabber. 1.00

01:08:06.000 He grabbed... 1.00

01:08:07.000 Whose dick was it that he grabbed? 1.00

01:08:10.000 Like some famous dude. 1.00

01:08:11.000 Richard Dreyfuss. 1.00

01:08:13.000 He grabbed his son's dick with him in the room. 1.00

01:08:16.000 He was just a crazy dick grabber. 1.00

01:08:19.000 Just a maniac. 1.00

01:08:20.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:08:21.000 Just drunk dick grabbing off the reservation. 1.00

01:08:25.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:08:25.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00

01:08:27.000 And I think this is their social environment as well as their working environment. 1.00

01:08:30.000 They're constantly around all these people and they're in this king role.

01:08:35.000 If you're a star of a show that you're the executive producer of and it's a giant hit for Netflix and you're the king.

01:08:42.000 I'm Frank Underwood.

01:08:44.000 The king of House of Cards.

01:08:45.000 And all the people rely on you for their jobs.

01:08:48.000 This is one of the things they're saying about House of Cards is that 2,000 people could be out of a job.

01:08:53.000 Exactly.

01:08:54.000 Which is crazy.

01:08:55.000 Yeah.

01:08:55.000 So this guy was like at the epicenter.

01:08:58.000 Like he was the king of 2,000 people.

01:09:02.000 Yeah.

01:09:02.000 So he would show up at work and he was like, where's my bagel?

01:09:04.000 Yeah, his ego. 1.00

01:09:05.000 Grab your dick. 1.00

01:09:08.000 I'm the king. 1.00

01:09:09.000 You know, and I think that is like natural male predatory behavior.

01:09:14.000 I think when a man gets into a position where he's the king and all these people, sire, maybe we get you something, sire.

01:09:20.000 Like if you're on a set and you're like the big star and all these people are stumbling around, sire, maybe we get you something, sire.

01:09:27.000 Like you start thinking like a king.

01:09:29.000 Like if you're Harvey Weinstein, like think about all the people that covered up for him.

01:09:33.000 He had it written in his contract.

01:09:35.000 That was crazy.

01:09:36.000 I mean, but also just think of that work ethic, man.

01:09:38.000 Like...

01:09:40.000 You know what I mean?

01:09:40.000 Like, why?

01:09:41.000 Just to work that hard.

01:09:44.000 And then the part that trips me out is when people would show up to the victims and go, tell me everything.

01:09:49.000 Tell me.

01:09:50.000 We're going to take them down.

01:09:52.000 And those people were investigators for him.

01:09:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:54.000 Then they go, I work for Weinstein, bitch. 1.00

01:09:55.000 Like, you better not... 1.00

01:09:57.000 You know how fucked up it has to have you walking around in the world? 0.99

01:10:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:10:00.000 But they're predators, man, and they look for... 0.99

01:10:04.000 Like, you know, it's this weird shit, but it's like if you, you know, they had like a parent or somebody going, baby, do you think it's safe to, you know, meet with him at three in the morning? 0.99

01:10:15.000 And they were like, mama, it's cool. 0.98

01:10:16.000 It's going to be fine.

01:10:17.000 Trust me.

01:10:18.000 Why don't you trust me?

01:10:19.000 You know, and then when something happens, they feel like they can't say anything because they don't want the I told you so or they don't want to.

01:10:27.000 Whatever it is, and then that that moment can turn into two weeks and not saying a year six, then you're living, you know what I mean?

01:10:34.000 And so that's how it can happen when you're just so embarrassed, you know what I mean?

01:10:40.000 Or you don't want to embarrass or hurt other people.

01:10:43.000 Sometimes people don't say anything because they don't want to make their parents feel a type of way, you know?

01:10:49.000 Yeah, there's a lot of women That have been rape victims that the stigma of being a rape victim, excuse me, publicly, It's so hard. 0.98

01:11:00.000 It's so terrifying.

01:11:01.000 It's so terrifying.

01:11:02.000 They're like, I'll just let it slide.

01:11:04.000 It's horrible.

01:11:07.000 Personally, I'm happy that people are finally speaking, coming out, because it's a lot of jobs opening up.

01:11:19.000 I'm really happy that people are finding that courage to just speak that truth.

01:11:23.000 We'll see what happens on the other side of it.

01:11:25.000 Will we be a healthier society?

01:11:27.000 Well, I've been saying this for a while that I think that eventually we're gonna get to a point we could read each other's minds.

01:11:32.000 I really think that's on the horizon.

01:11:35.000 I think it's just a matter of time before no one can ever do anything like that ever again.

01:11:39.000 And I think that's what you're seeing now. 0.99

01:11:41.000 With this Harvey Weinstein shit and the Kevin Spacey shit and all this other stuff. 0.99

01:11:45.000 I mean, you see varying degrees of it. 1.00

01:11:47.000 Some of them seem pretty innocuous, like Al Franken just likes to grab butts when he takes pictures.

01:11:52.000 Not the best practice, but not the worst thing in the world. 0.99

01:11:55.000 But I think we're going to get to a point where all of this is looked back on wearing powdered wigs or slavery or any crazy old shit that we just don't tolerate anymore. 0.94

01:12:05.000 Just nutty behavior that you just can't do anymore. 0.98

01:12:08.000 I think we're going to get to a point where...

01:12:10.000 You're going to be able to talk to someone, and you're going to be able to see what's going on in their head. 0.99

01:12:15.000 And you would have to be a real piece of shit to victimize them, because you're going to get to see what their exact feeling is. 0.99

01:12:20.000 Oh, you just need this job. 1.00

01:12:21.000 You're not really attracted to me.

01:12:23.000 You don't like me at all. 0.98

01:12:24.000 You just need this job, but you might have let me jerk off on you if you keep this job. 1.00

01:12:28.000 This is gross. 1.00

01:12:30.000 I've got to stop.

01:12:31.000 You know what's interesting, too?

01:12:32.000 I think this is a direct reaction to us not communicating with one another.

01:12:37.000 You know what I mean?

01:12:38.000 Today, everything is text.

01:12:40.000 My boys are single.

01:12:42.000 They're getting girls through text.

01:12:43.000 Have you talked to her yet?

01:12:44.000 Nah, I am, but she's sending me text.

01:12:46.000 You don't even know her.

01:12:48.000 Everything can be taken out of context, what have you.

01:12:52.000 But yeah, it is getting to the place where you're going to have to be really clear with your intentions.

01:12:55.000 You're going to be able to see intentions on people.

01:12:59.000 Oh, wow. 0.96

01:12:59.000 You know, another thing I think that is ridiculous, and I'm not pro-prostitution, but I think it should be legal. 0.96

01:13:04.000 And I think if it was legal, you would have way less of this going on. 0.91

01:13:08.000 Oh, yeah.

01:13:08.000 Way less.

01:13:09.000 Because that's what it is, right?

01:13:10.000 It's just that release, and people need to...

01:13:12.000 Well, it's craziness. 1.00

01:13:12.000 It's forbidden shit. 1.00

01:13:14.000 There's a lot of factors going on. 0.99

01:13:15.000 But I think one of the things that would change... 0.99

01:13:18.000 Is that people that want, like, ugly dudes like Harvey Weinstein who just want sex. 0.99

01:13:23.000 Yeah, they can just go get it. 0.99

01:13:24.000 But I think for him it's like a power thing, too.

01:13:26.000 Definitely.

01:13:26.000 I mean, he was banging all those really hot, like, famous chicks.

01:13:29.000 Yeah, this drug dealer told me a long time ago it was two things. 0.70

01:13:33.000 He was talking about men.

01:13:34.000 He says, two things men understand. 0.97

01:13:36.000 Ass whooping or secret. 0.99

01:13:38.000 And if you can't whoop they ass, you better get a secret. 1.00

01:13:43.000 So, and that's... 1.00

01:13:45.000 You know, I feel like Harvey doing that shit to a lot of people because they became huge stars, right? 0.98

01:13:51.000 There's no reason for them to ever have to respect him again. 0.99

01:13:54.000 You know what I mean?

01:13:55.000 But he was like, yeah, but you know what this is.

01:13:59.000 Whatever his power thing was.

01:14:01.000 Well, that's what apparently he would negotiate it into deals. 1.00

01:14:03.000 He would say, if you fuck me, you'll get more lines, you'll get parts, you'll get this, you get that. 0.99

01:14:09.000 And so it's like... 1.00

01:14:12.000 I mean, but that is, like, my man, he was like, so when do you know your worth, right?

01:14:17.000 And when do you know, well, if you, you know what I mean, I'm good, I don't need this here.

01:14:21.000 I'll go over here. 0.98

01:14:23.000 Or I've already, the work I've already done, like, my last work paid for all this shit. 0.98

01:14:30.000 Where are you getting your money? 0.97

01:14:31.000 You're getting your money from something I did.

01:14:33.000 You know what I mean?

01:14:33.000 Like, instead of thinking about it like, oh, you can give me more money.

01:14:36.000 It's like, you sitting on...

01:14:39.000 You got this suite from my performance.

01:14:42.000 You know what I mean?

01:14:42.000 Right.

01:14:43.000 This dude wrote it. 0.99

01:14:44.000 You didn't do shit. 0.99

01:14:45.000 Yeah, you just came up with the money. 0.99

01:14:47.000 This guy wrote it.

01:14:48.000 This guy shot it.

01:14:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:50.000 That's what's interesting.

01:14:51.000 He's not the creative guy at all.

01:14:53.000 No, no. 1.00

01:14:53.000 He's just the money guy that fucks the women. 1.00

01:14:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:56.000 It's weird.

01:14:56.000 It's weird, man.

01:14:57.000 And it's weird how long you got away with it for.

01:14:59.000 For decade after decade after decade.

01:15:03.000 It's crazy, man.

01:15:04.000 It's almost deflating every person that you look at.

01:15:08.000 You know what shocked me the most about Matt Lauer? 0.99

01:15:12.000 That motherfucker was making 20 million dollars a year. 1.00

01:15:14.000 25! 1.00

01:15:15.000 25?

01:15:15.000 I heard it was 25. I heard 20. 28?

01:15:19.000 Jesus, it gets bigger.

01:15:20.000 Can I get 30?

01:15:21.000 And they had to pay him.

01:15:22.000 They had to pay him.

01:15:23.000 They had to pay him out?

01:15:23.000 They had to pay him out his contract?

01:15:25.000 I was just reading, they don't know if it's going to be finished through his 2018 contract, but he also was getting flown helicopter rides to his Hamptons house daily so he could spend more time with his family or something.

01:15:37.000 Whoa.

01:15:38.000 In between. 1.00

01:15:39.000 Damn, Matt Lowry. 0.99

01:15:41.000 I wonder what happened. 0.99

01:15:43.000 All those guys get paid out, though.

01:15:45.000 How much did Charlie Rose get when he had to step out?

01:15:47.000 Did he get paid out?

01:15:48.000 But he was on PBS. He probably wasn't getting paid out.

01:15:50.000 O'Reilly got a lot of extra money, right?

01:15:51.000 O'Reilly got a lot of money.

01:15:52.000 O'Reilly paid $35 million in a sexual harassment settlement. 0.99

01:15:58.000 Like, what the fuck could you have possibly done? 1.00

01:16:01.000 Just think about the fact that they're like, okay, okay, if I give you 35 million, you shut the fuck up? 0.99

01:16:05.000 Like, 35 million is a J-Lo house. 0.99

01:16:08.000 Hold up, Joe, this is fucked up, but that victim should be a motivational speaker. 0.99

01:16:15.000 That victim should motivate to talk to other victims on how to get paid. 0.99

01:16:20.000 First thing I did was I limped around them.

01:16:22.000 I pretended I couldn't walk good.

01:16:26.000 I was getting nervous.

01:16:27.000 I'd have to sit down.

01:16:29.000 I appeared vulnerable.

01:16:30.000 It worked out.

01:16:31.000 Yeah.

01:16:32.000 I wonder what he did.

01:16:34.000 I mean, it was just one.

01:16:35.000 I mean, another one, I think he paid 12. There was like several different ones that he had to pay off.

01:16:40.000 Like, this guy was on a rampage for years and years.

01:16:43.000 Yeah, he's a trick, man.

01:16:45.000 On the streets, he's a trick that pays well.

01:16:48.000 House money.

01:16:49.000 35 million?

01:16:50.000 35. Come on, man.

01:16:52.000 And everybody already knows you're a freak. 0.95

01:16:55.000 So it's like you wasted $35 million. 1.00

01:16:57.000 Everybody knows you're a freak. 0.99

01:16:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:16:59.000 And so where do you start?

01:17:01.000 Is it the platform?

01:17:02.000 Who gave them the platform?

01:17:03.000 That guy?

01:17:04.000 Well, I think it's a bunch of things.

01:17:06.000 But one of the things that I think it is, is that...

01:17:09.000 That world is so sexually charged. 0.99

01:17:12.000 All the men are like these powerful, wealthy men, and all the women are hot as fuck, and they all have short skirts on, and they're all talking about, like, American values. 0.99

01:17:22.000 And it's all conservative values. 0.99

01:17:24.000 It's all super suppressed.

01:17:26.000 Right. 1.00

01:17:27.000 Behind closed doors, there's button popping and fucking. 1.00

01:17:32.000 It's crazy. 1.00

01:17:34.000 Snorting coke off pussy lips. 1.00

01:17:36.000 Woo! 1.00

01:17:37.000 Yeah, America!

01:17:39.000 You know? 0.99

01:17:40.000 Big hypocrisy. 0.97

01:17:43.000 We're so puritanical too, though, man. 0.94

01:17:45.000 Yeah.

01:17:46.000 They don't teach sex education to younger kids. 1.00

01:17:52.000 It's never cool to talk about this shit. 1.00

01:17:54.000 No. 1.00

01:17:54.000 So... 1.00

01:17:55.000 There's definitely that, but it's also the suppression.

01:17:57.000 The ones that are super religious, super suppressed, those are the ones that have a need for an outlet.

01:18:04.000 Of course.

01:18:05.000 Yes.

01:18:05.000 Yeah.

01:18:06.000 And I feel like it's equal.

01:18:08.000 Right.

01:18:08.000 So the amount that you put out, you equally have.

01:18:12.000 Right.

01:18:13.000 You know what I mean?

01:18:14.000 Who was that guy? 0.98

01:18:15.000 The senator or congressman or whoever the fuck it was that just got busted? 1.00

01:18:20.000 He was an anti-gay... 1.00

01:18:22.000 Oh yeah! 1.00

01:18:23.000 And it turns out he got busted having sex with a dude in his office. 0.87

01:18:28.000 Inappropriate behavior, they called it. 0.51

01:18:30.000 Which was very convenient.

01:18:31.000 They had to give him the ex.

01:18:33.000 There he is. 0.98

01:18:33.000 Anti-LGBTQ lawmaker resigns over a gay sex scandal. 0.98

01:18:39.000 Republican Ohio State Representative. 0.62

01:18:42.000 Wesley.

01:18:43.000 Oh, Wesley.

01:18:44.000 Wesley Goodman.

01:18:45.000 He may have also previously assaulted an 18-year-old.

01:18:48.000 May have.

01:18:50.000 Assaulted.

01:18:50.000 Is it like Kevin Spacey type assault?

01:18:52.000 Like dick grabbing? 0.99

01:18:53.000 I know. 1.00

01:18:53.000 The word assault is so strong, man. 1.00

01:18:56.000 Your words are violent, Owen.

01:18:57.000 I know.

01:18:57.000 Your words are violence.

01:18:59.000 I didn't touch you.

01:19:00.000 No, no, no.

01:19:01.000 Your words are violence.

01:19:03.000 That's what comedy's headed.

01:19:05.000 Yeah.

01:19:07.000 I feel uncomfortable.

01:19:09.000 I know.

01:19:10.000 There's certain taboos now that are just breaching them on stage.

01:19:14.000 You see people say, are you allowed?

01:19:16.000 Well, you know, yeah, I wish they did that, like, with comedy tickets.

01:19:20.000 Like, I understand when you buy a baseball ticket, the back is like an agreement that if you get hit with the ball, you ain't going to sue.

01:19:26.000 Is that what it is?

01:19:26.000 Yeah, like, you agree that if some debris hits you, hey, man, it's a part of the experience.

01:19:33.000 And they need to do that with comedy. 0.93

01:19:35.000 If your feelings get hurt, you've already agreed to experience a performance.

01:19:43.000 I don't know how it's going to land on you.

01:19:45.000 What I think is really important, you've got to ban people that interrupt.

01:19:50.000 Especially bad hecklers that interrupt.

01:19:54.000 Hecklers sometimes, man, you're setting up for a special, you're getting ready. 0.65

01:19:59.000 They can fuck up the flow of a bit for weeks.

01:20:02.000 Always.

01:20:03.000 It seems like they always come out when you're setting up for something.

01:20:07.000 Of course.

01:20:07.000 When you ain't setting up for nothing, you just rocking.

01:20:11.000 Perfect.

01:20:12.000 I gotta lay this down.

01:20:14.000 Here they come.

01:20:16.000 And the moral arbiters of what you're allowed to say and not say.

01:20:20.000 You don't even understand where this is going.

01:20:22.000 You're not even allowing this bit to take its full...

01:20:25.000 At the end, it'll be vindicated.

01:20:26.000 Just let it play out.

01:20:28.000 Trust me. 1.00

01:20:30.000 At the end, I'm the piece of shit. 1.00

01:20:32.000 Just trust me. 1.00

01:20:32.000 Trust me. 1.00

01:20:33.000 Everyone wins.

01:20:34.000 Yeah.

01:20:34.000 But that's a weird thing about live performance.

01:20:37.000 That's what makes it so exciting.

01:20:38.000 You are there to catch debris occasionally.

01:20:41.000 A tire will fall off one of the NASCAR things and launch in the crowd.

01:20:46.000 I don't know, man.

01:20:49.000 You got to keep swinging that bat, though.

01:20:50.000 You got to keep pushing it.

01:20:52.000 Yeah.

01:20:53.000 Well, also the real terrifying thing for me is the throwing away the material and then redoing your whole act every two years.

01:21:00.000 Oh, yeah.

01:21:01.000 That's the real terrifying thing.

01:21:02.000 For me, it's about a year and a half, it seems like lately.

01:21:05.000 That's my schedule.

01:21:06.000 Okay.

01:21:06.000 And at a year and a half, it's like...

01:21:08.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:21:09.000 Like, right now, I'm super nervous, because I'm, like, a couple months out, and then once I film, I'm fucked. 0.97

01:21:14.000 I don't have anything. 0.93

01:21:15.000 I just figured out how to make these bits all work good.

01:21:17.000 I know.

01:21:18.000 And it's exciting, right?

01:21:19.000 It's like, I could ride this for five years?

01:21:22.000 No.

01:21:23.000 But I think it's healthier, though.

01:21:24.000 Oh, it's way healthier.

01:21:25.000 But it is, like...

01:21:26.000 But what you're talking about, too, is something that I've gone through.

01:21:28.000 It's like, the older you get, the less you...

01:21:32.000 The less your faith isn't as strong. 1.00

01:21:35.000 When you're younger, you go, I know I'm going to come up with more shit. 0.99

01:21:37.000 Something's going to happen. 0.96

01:21:38.000 I think my faith is better now than it was before.

01:21:41.000 But I work harder at it now.

01:21:43.000 To me, it's directly proportional. 0.97

01:21:46.000 How much time I'm actually spending writing and working on new shit and trying out new shit versus whether or not I think I can do it again. 0.93

01:21:53.000 As long as you're paying attention, there's always subjects. 0.97

01:21:56.000 I feel like subjects, too, are essentially like scaffolding.

01:21:59.000 Yes.

01:22:00.000 And once you have the scaffolding, then you got to fill it up with jokes and build on it.

01:22:04.000 That's the fun part, too.

01:22:06.000 I love the work, man.

01:22:09.000 I'm at a place where I love it even more now than when I first started.

01:22:13.000 It was just a blind love for just how it made me feel.

01:22:18.000 But now I really like getting in there and trying to...

01:22:21.000 Yeah.

01:22:22.000 Take it places.

01:22:23.000 And it's so exciting to me, man.

01:22:26.000 And it's like I feel so present and awake, you know what I mean?

01:22:30.000 Yeah.

01:22:30.000 When I'm on stage and I just, I'm excited about it.

01:22:33.000 But it is true, though.

01:22:37.000 I wish that this was all I could focus on.

01:22:40.000 You know what I mean?

01:22:40.000 Like this and my family.

01:22:41.000 That's all I want to do is stand up and family.

01:22:44.000 That's one of the reasons why it is so exciting is because it's just slightly out of your reach.

01:22:49.000 Yeah.

01:22:49.000 I mean, it's obviously within your reach talent-wise, but just like you still have this writing job, you still have this...

01:22:54.000 Yeah.

01:22:55.000 Yeah, it's there.

01:22:57.000 But the reason why I... I never intended to be a TV writer.

01:23:03.000 I didn't even know that was a job.

01:23:04.000 You know what I mean?

01:23:05.000 I went one day on the set.

01:23:10.000 A friend of mine, he was a comic and then became showrunner of Everybody Hates Chris.

01:23:16.000 And he called me out the blue and said, Hey man, you want to come read lines with Chris?

01:23:22.000 I was like, yeah.

01:23:25.000 So I went on set, and the job was to be his voice, because it was a voiceover show, everybody.

01:23:30.000 So I was his voice for the actors, for the pacing.

01:23:35.000 So I'd be off on the side.

01:23:36.000 My mother always said, like, I'll just be reading with her.

01:23:39.000 And then I was like, oh, this is cool.

01:23:41.000 I was like, this is like the best acting class.

01:23:43.000 Because I'm seeing, because at the time I was also like acting classes and doing all of that stuff. 0.96

01:23:48.000 Oh shit, I'm seeing what it's like on set, how to act. 0.97

01:23:51.000 Because I would watch co-stars come in and just crumble because it's not a safe acting class. 1.00

01:23:56.000 Like when you're acting on set, there's a boom guy that don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:24:00.000 There's a guy rolling up cable. 0.98

01:24:02.000 There's a guy eating the sand.

01:24:03.000 You know what I mean?

01:24:03.000 So you have to know how to find it in these raw environments.

01:24:07.000 So I used to watch that.

01:24:09.000 But because I'm a comedian first, when they would run lines, I would hear stuff that could be funny, and I would just write it on my script.

01:24:17.000 But I wouldn't say anything.

01:24:18.000 I knew better than to try to say something.

01:24:21.000 And then one day, showrunner, his name's Ali, he goes, hey man, this scene ain't working.

01:24:26.000 You got anything?

01:24:27.000 And I was like, do I? Yeah, she should say this.

01:24:30.000 It was just...

01:24:31.000 I just wanted to make it better and then he laughed and then he threw the line in and she laughed and then they did it and the whole crew laughed and then they recorded it.

01:24:41.000 And I was like, oh, that's cool.

01:24:42.000 And I didn't even think like, oh, that was great.

01:24:44.000 I was just like, yeah, that's what it should have been like.

01:24:46.000 Right. 1.00

01:24:46.000 And then Chris Rock came up and he was like, fuck that. 1.00

01:24:51.000 You say this and change it and they laugh. 1.00

01:24:53.000 Then I was like, I got another one.

01:24:55.000 And that was the first time I'd ever seen Chris like in person this day.

01:24:59.000 Like, oh, I got another one.

01:25:00.000 I gave it to him.

01:25:01.000 They throw it in.

01:25:01.000 They laugh louder.

01:25:02.000 Chris was like, you say this.

01:25:04.000 They laugh but not as loud.

01:25:06.000 Didn't know I probably should have shut up.

01:25:08.000 I had another one because I was like, If Chris would like me, this would be great. 1.00

01:25:12.000 You know, that kind of shit. 1.00

01:25:12.000 Right, right, right. 1.00

01:25:13.000 So I was like, this one.

01:25:14.000 They laugh.

01:25:15.000 They do it.

01:25:16.000 They laugh loud.

01:25:16.000 Chris goes, I got nothing.

01:25:18.000 I'm like, yeah.

01:25:19.000 You know?

01:25:19.000 And so then, at the end, everyone's in line shaking Chris's hand.

01:25:24.000 When I shake his hand, he puts his, like, does the elbow thing. 0.83

01:25:27.000 He goes, what's up, nigga? 0.99

01:25:28.000 I'm like... 0.98

01:25:29.000 Chris Rock called me nigga. 0.54

01:25:31.000 He likes you.

01:25:32.000 I was so happy.

01:25:33.000 I was like, hey! 0.94

01:25:34.000 And then I went on a dumb plane and did like a college gig or whatever and came back.

01:25:39.000 And so then that grew into me doing what they call punch-up writing. 0.73

01:25:43.000 But I didn't know anything.

01:25:46.000 I just enjoyed...

01:25:48.000 Helping them make the show funnier.

01:25:50.000 If I hear something, I go, oh, that's dope.

01:25:55.000 That's kind of always been my nature.

01:25:57.000 One time this older black dude was at the store and he said, stop helping other people get better. 1.00

01:26:02.000 Keep that shit for yourself. 1.00

01:26:04.000 I was like, all right. 1.00

01:26:05.000 Who said that?

01:26:06.000 I can't remember.

01:26:06.000 It's like he came out the shadows and just said it to me.

01:26:09.000 When cats would get off stage, I'd be like, oh, man, you should do this.

01:26:12.000 Then I would go do my work.

01:26:13.000 Like, I'm not doing that.

01:26:15.000 But whatever you're doing, I could hear it.

01:26:17.000 I go, oh man, maybe go here.

01:26:19.000 That'd be dope. 0.98

01:26:20.000 Some people will listen, and some people have amazing careers, and some people are like, alright.

01:26:25.000 And then I started figuring out, oh, they don't want me to say nothing.

01:26:28.000 I ain't gonna say nothing.

01:26:28.000 And then I did eventually just stop saying stuff.

01:26:31.000 Right.

01:26:31.000 It just kind of just, it kind of falls away.

01:26:33.000 But I used to be, I was like, I used to just love hearing what people were trying to do and then go, hey man.

01:26:39.000 Sometimes someone on the outside can see it better than you can.

01:26:41.000 Yeah, and I wasn't annoying.

01:26:42.000 Like, I wasn't like, but I'd be like, oh man, that thing, maybe this.

01:26:45.000 And if they laughed, it was cool.

01:26:46.000 And I literally...

01:26:48.000 Didn't think about it again.

01:26:49.000 I wouldn't even remember.

01:26:51.000 So that evolved into me like...

01:26:54.000 They used to let me rewrite scenes on set.

01:26:57.000 Because that was just the way this particular showrunner worked.

01:27:00.000 His whole philosophy was funniest wins and, you know, if you got it, you got it.

01:27:05.000 And then...

01:27:07.000 So he would bring stuff in from the writer's room, which I was rarely in, because I wasn't a writer at that time.

01:27:12.000 And then when they would put it on its feet, we could hear how certain people couldn't say—they would sound funnier saying a different word, or maybe it should just take a different turn.

01:27:22.000 And we were kind of on the same, so he would let me rewrite.

01:27:25.000 And that— Then I found out about writing and there's a writer's guild and all this stuff.

01:27:34.000 And I was like, yeah, I'll do it.

01:27:36.000 I'd like to see what it's about.

01:27:37.000 Why not?

01:27:38.000 But I didn't get a writer's job until...

01:27:41.000 Years later, I went through a bad breakup here, and I wanted to go to New York.

01:27:46.000 You know them breakups that make you want to change zip codes?

01:27:50.000 So I tried to...

01:27:51.000 I was so naive, I go, I'm going to write on Conan.

01:27:53.000 So I started sending...

01:27:54.000 This is when he was in New York.

01:27:56.000 I didn't hear anything.

01:27:57.000 I ended up having to be here for another two years.

01:28:00.000 And then after I gave up that dream of wanting to just get a writing job in New York so I could live in New York, I ended up getting a writing job.

01:28:07.000 In Stamford, Connecticut.

01:28:09.000 And I took it.

01:28:10.000 It was my first Writers Guild job.

01:28:11.000 But I moved to Harlem.

01:28:13.000 And so I would work on set all day and then race down to the cellar and perform at the cellar.

01:28:19.000 So I was living a life that I always wanted to do at 20, but I was afraid to move to New York.

01:28:28.000 At 20 because I didn't think I could afford it for some reason.

01:28:31.000 So I lived in Chicago and then I moved to LA. For some reason I felt like I could do those towns.

01:28:38.000 So I was living in Harlem and I was a comedian and I would write during the day.

01:28:42.000 I didn't even think of it as a thing.

01:28:45.000 And then that grew into, oh, I'm pretty good at this.

01:28:49.000 I know what this should look like.

01:28:51.000 I know how to tell a story.

01:28:52.000 You know what I mean?

01:28:53.000 When did you start coming around the store?

01:28:55.000 I came around the store on Everybody Hates Christmas.

01:28:58.000 I came out the first time in the 90s.

01:29:03.000 Wow.

01:29:04.000 Spring Break 1994. Me, Sunny, I can't think of her last name, but she's on The View now.

01:29:14.000 She's one of the ladies on The View. 0.75

01:29:16.000 Sunny.

01:29:17.000 We all went to Notre Dame.

01:29:19.000 She went to Notre Dame Law School.

01:29:21.000 Me, my boy Floyd, he pretended to be my manager.

01:29:24.000 We all did this play, Raisin' in the Sun.

01:29:27.000 And then for spring break, we all came out together.

01:29:30.000 And I went to all the comedy clubs, because I was doing comedy at Notre Dame, and he pretended to be my manager.

01:29:35.000 And I got up on some black rooms.

01:29:37.000 I got to do stand-up there.

01:29:39.000 And we went to all the comedy clubs, and everybody was nice to us.

01:29:42.000 Like, I'm a comedian visiting from the Midwest.

01:29:45.000 Can I just check out the room?

01:29:46.000 Yeah, come on in.

01:29:46.000 Went into the Laugh Factory.

01:29:47.000 Oh, this is shiny as fuck. 0.99

01:29:49.000 Okay, this is cool. 0.99

01:29:49.000 Nice, nice. 0.99

01:29:50.000 Went to the improv, they let me in.

01:29:52.000 Okay, cool.

01:29:53.000 Come to the comedy store, a dude named Chewy is standing up front.

01:29:57.000 I remember Chewy.

01:29:58.000 And I go, hey man.

01:29:59.000 And some people, he was so intimidating, he made me lose the bass in my voice.

01:30:04.000 I was like, hey man, I want to just go in. 0.99

01:30:06.000 And he was like, do you know how they motherfuckers say they're a comedian? 0.99

01:30:09.000 And he chewed me out, and it scared me from the store. 0.99

01:30:12.000 And I was like, yo!

01:30:14.000 Everybody else was showing such...

01:30:16.000 I was not expecting it, right?

01:30:17.000 And I was just like, who is this dude?

01:30:19.000 I don't want to get in there. 0.99

01:30:20.000 Goddamn. 0.99

01:30:21.000 So I stayed away from the store. 1.00

01:30:23.000 It scared you off?

01:30:24.000 It scared me off, dude.

01:30:26.000 Scared me off.

01:30:26.000 He's the nicest guy once you get to know him.

01:30:28.000 Yeah, but so much so, I put a vendetta in my head against this dude.

01:30:33.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

01:30:34.000 Push this dude in traffic.

01:30:35.000 You know how strong you are?

01:30:36.000 How close you are out of the street?

01:30:37.000 I was really angry. 1.00

01:30:40.000 And I just walked away, and I was like, fuck this guy. 1.00

01:30:43.000 Fuck this place. 1.00

01:30:45.000 And then I didn't move out until 2000, right? 1.00

01:30:49.000 And I was doing a lot of commercials in Chicago, right?

01:30:54.000 And I booked 10 national commercials for Blockbuster Music or something.

01:30:59.000 It was me and this dude named J.T. Jagadowski, I think his name is.

01:31:04.000 He is one of the Sonics guys, those Sonics commercials.

01:31:09.000 Okay.

01:31:10.000 He's one of those guys.

01:31:11.000 And we did 10 of them.

01:31:12.000 I was getting paid twice because they were using my hands, too.

01:31:15.000 It was like a video game spot.

01:31:16.000 So I was a hand model getting paid.

01:31:19.000 And then my face was imposed on one of my thumbs and his was on another thumb.

01:31:22.000 And we did it.

01:31:23.000 And so I thought I was going to make a lot of, and it was supposed to air during the Super Bowl, the 2000 Super Bowl.

01:31:29.000 And then I booked, and then I did radio to promote a show, and they offered me, the program director liked my voice, and offered me a radio gig.

01:31:39.000 He was like, yo, you want to do the morning radio here?

01:31:41.000 And I did a test run for like a couple of weeks, and it did really well.

01:31:45.000 And out of nowhere did I get a call from Don Buchwald.

01:31:49.000 I don't know if he's still Howard Stern's agent, but he was like, Owen, Don Buchwald, we know.

01:31:55.000 Let me negotiate your deal.

01:31:57.000 I was like, what?

01:31:59.000 I was like, alright.

01:32:00.000 So you figured you were going to be a big-time morning DJ guy.

01:32:02.000 Morning DJ guy, and I did not want to be a local celebrity at all.

01:32:07.000 That's a go-to-bed-at-8 o'clock gig, too.

01:32:09.000 I know, and wake up at 4. I did that for two weeks, and my body felt paralyzed, but my numbers were really good, apparently.

01:32:17.000 Because I had to meet with this dude named J-Bo something.

01:32:19.000 And he was like, oh, and your numbers are great.

01:32:21.000 Just don't say this word so much.

01:32:23.000 And I was like, ugh.

01:32:24.000 I was already like, ugh.

01:32:25.000 So then this guy calls me.

01:32:27.000 And I go, all right, man.

01:32:28.000 I said, I want $250,000.

01:32:31.000 And he was like, what?

01:32:31.000 And this is right when I think Clear Channel, somebody was buying up all the radio stations.

01:32:35.000 So base salary was maybe $60,000 or something like that.

01:32:39.000 And I was like, I don't know.

01:32:41.000 So I just said, I was like, because I had these commercials coming.

01:32:44.000 So I go, I want $250,000.

01:32:45.000 He was like, all right, let me see what I can do.

01:32:48.000 So I was supposed to come out here for Y2K. I was supposed to come out here before the ball dropped, you know, 1999. But I had to stay an extra like six weeks, maybe four weeks while they negotiate.

01:32:59.000 So every Friday, Don would call me, Owen, we got it up to 120. Nope.

01:33:05.000 Nope. 0.95

01:33:07.000 This is an arrogant 26-year-old me.

01:33:09.000 Owen, we got it up to 180. Nope.

01:33:14.000 I've never met this man.

01:33:16.000 That's amazing.

01:33:16.000 I wouldn't know him if he passed me in the street.

01:33:18.000 Wow.

01:33:19.000 Owen, we got it up to 220. With your remote, you'll make your 250. Will you just take the gig?

01:33:25.000 No one has ever gotten this before.

01:33:27.000 That's amazing.

01:33:28.000 Nope. 0.99

01:33:33.000 I hung up my dumb flip phone at the time. 0.99

01:33:37.000 Did you have a Razor phone? 1.00

01:33:38.000 Yeah, some dumb flip, some stupid. 1.00

01:33:40.000 And then I hung it up. 1.00

01:33:42.000 And he was like, alright, good luck.

01:33:46.000 And I hung up like that.

01:33:49.000 So you walked away from a $220,000 a year gig.

01:33:54.000 Plus remotes, you would have made a quarter million dollars a year in 1999. Jesus, man.

01:33:59.000 Walked away, and it was already New Year, because I drove out here in my 1991 gray Honda Accord, drove through the southern route from Chicago, and stopped at Grand Canyon, yelled in there, I'm gonna be famous, famous, I'm gonna make it, all that shit. 0.96

01:34:15.000 And then...

01:34:17.000 Drove out, pulled in, and the copywriters from, because it was a Viacom spot, from the 10 national commercials that I did called me and said, hey man, we got some bad news.

01:34:29.000 There was an in-house legal dispute in Viacom between your spots and these spots called Thumb Wars.

01:34:34.000 And so we're not, there's aired already, so we're not going to be airing your spots.

01:34:40.000 We already edited a few, so we'll send them to you.

01:34:44.000 So I had like, I just had the session fee.

01:34:48.000 Right.

01:35:04.000 And I thought I was going to at least make a quarter of a million that year, at least.

01:35:07.000 And then nothing.

01:35:09.000 So then I ended up sleeping on my boy's air mattress, Preacher Moss.

01:35:14.000 Shout out to Preach.

01:35:15.000 Did you ever think about calling them back for the radio gig?

01:35:17.000 No.

01:35:18.000 No.

01:35:18.000 Wow.

01:35:19.000 No.

01:35:19.000 Good for you.

01:35:20.000 Yeah, it was like, I didn't want to be a local.

01:35:24.000 My reasoning was, if you're offering me a radio gig at 26, I can get a radio gig at 56. Like, it's a voice.

01:35:29.000 You know what I mean?

01:35:30.000 That was my thinking at the time.

01:35:32.000 My 26-year-old thinking.

01:35:34.000 And then...

01:35:36.000 So no, because I didn't want to go back.

01:35:38.000 I felt like I had done everything I could do in Chicago.

01:35:43.000 Right.

01:35:44.000 Because when shows were coming, I would get a co-star on it.

01:35:47.000 There was a few dudes that tried to make it out of those local markets.

01:35:51.000 Remember Man Cow?

01:35:52.000 Yeah, in the morning.

01:35:53.000 Yeah, he was a Chicago guy, wasn't he?

01:35:56.000 Yeah.

01:35:56.000 And then him and Howard Stern had that crazy beef, and Howard Stern went after him.

01:36:00.000 Yeah, Howard Stern lapped him.

01:36:02.000 Yeah, but he was like a guy who was like a Chicago guy that was sort of bleeding out into other markets, and then it all went away.

01:36:09.000 Yep, yep, yep. 1.00

01:36:10.000 So when I came out, I was sleeping on the air mattress, got some pussy on it. 1.00

01:36:15.000 Whoa, that's strong. 1.00

01:36:16.000 It was consensual. 0.99

01:36:17.000 Did you get some sex on an air mattress and a girl likes you that much? 1.00

01:36:21.000 I was pretty good, yeah. 1.00

01:36:21.000 It's almost like futon sex. 1.00

01:36:23.000 Fantastic. 0.99

01:36:24.000 But yeah, I told her, I was funny, I was just like a poor man's waterbed, and you sound crazy, you know, whatever.

01:36:30.000 But I was there for 18 months, man, and I would drive up and go to acting class.

01:36:36.000 Acting class. 1.00

01:36:37.000 Boy, you meet some crazy fucking people in acting class, huh? 1.00

01:36:40.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:36:41.000 Yeah, man.

01:36:42.000 But it was great.

01:36:42.000 It was a great time, right, to just really learn the art form at a different level and just see who's out here.

01:36:49.000 But I didn't fuck with the store. 0.72

01:36:50.000 I would drive past it, and I was doing improv, you know, once every two months. 0.98

01:36:57.000 And just like coffee houses and stuff.

01:37:00.000 And then it wasn't until I was on Everybody Hates Chris and Chris Rock was doing That special where he performed in South Africa and England.

01:37:10.000 He was working on that.

01:37:11.000 And he just said, I'm going to the store tonight.

01:37:13.000 And I was like, yo, I want to come see it.

01:37:16.000 All right, just come.

01:37:17.000 I was like, cool.

01:37:18.000 So I sat in the OR and I watched Chris go up.

01:37:21.000 And at that time, I was, I wasn't in, I'm still not in the Laugh Factory, but I did the improv.

01:37:26.000 And I would do the Laugh Factory on like chocolate sundaes or whatever.

01:37:29.000 But the improv, it felt like You had to have your set already worked out.

01:37:33.000 Like, you couldn't... 1.00

01:37:34.000 Fuck around. 1.00

01:37:35.000 Couldn't fuck around. 1.00

01:37:36.000 And you couldn't really go outside the box of what a comedian is. 0.99

01:37:41.000 And so, when I was at the store, I saw a few comics go up before Chris. 0.93

01:37:46.000 And I was like, oh shit, you could be an artist here. 0.79

01:37:48.000 Like, that was my first instinct. 0.99

01:37:50.000 Like, you can do whatever you think is your thing here.

01:37:55.000 And then I saw Chris go up.

01:37:56.000 And I was like, I have to get in here.

01:37:57.000 Like, it was...

01:37:58.000 I was like, whatever, I gotta do it.

01:38:01.000 I gotta get in here.

01:38:01.000 Chewie wasn't around then.

01:38:02.000 Chewie wasn't around then.

01:38:03.000 So then, check this out.

01:38:06.000 So then I started coming down on Sunday and Monday, and Tommy was doing it at the time.

01:38:12.000 And I would listen to Tommy talk and stuff, and What blew me away about Tommy was I had never met a person who ran a comedy club who knew that much about comedians and who was that passionate about comedy.

01:38:25.000 I didn't know him from anything. 0.96

01:38:29.000 All the funny bones that I had worked, nobody gave a fuck.

01:38:34.000 About the lineups and kind of like his process. 0.65

01:38:37.000 So I didn't mind him talking to me.

01:38:39.000 I was like, oh, this guy likes to talk. 0.98

01:38:41.000 And I was like, oh, shit, a lot of people probably don't talk to him. 1.00

01:38:43.000 And so then when he would talk to me about comedy, I was blown away by that he knew a specific history of it and Yeah, you didn't get a chance to see him emerge as the crazy fuck he became. 1.00

01:38:53.000 No, no, no. 0.99

01:38:54.000 So he would give me the two-minute spots, and I would do the two-minute things.

01:39:00.000 And then he was like, I'm going to give you ten minutes.

01:39:04.000 And then he goes, I'm going to give you a showcase for Mitzi.

01:39:07.000 And he would call me.

01:39:09.000 It's going down now.

01:39:10.000 And I would drive and get all the way to it.

01:39:11.000 It's not happening.

01:39:12.000 I would go back home.

01:39:12.000 Because Mitzi was still sick.

01:39:14.000 She was sick, yeah.

01:39:14.000 She was real sick back then.

01:39:16.000 Real sick.

01:39:16.000 Come in, go back home.

01:39:17.000 But she was still doing auditions then, huh?

01:39:18.000 Yeah.

01:39:18.000 What year is this?

01:39:19.000 I don't know.

01:39:20.000 I'm bad with that.

01:39:22.000 But the class that I was in was Glickman.

01:39:26.000 Steve Glickman.

01:39:27.000 Me and Steve were past the same year.

01:39:29.000 So maybe...

01:39:30.000 Well, the Chris Rock thing was 2007. So this is all of it after I had left.

01:39:36.000 I had left the store in 2007. Yep, yep, yep.

01:39:38.000 So it was all right around that.

01:39:39.000 Right on the heels of that.

01:39:40.000 Right on the heels of that.

01:39:41.000 And then...

01:39:42.000 So maybe I got passed in 2008, maybe.

01:39:45.000 Where else do you work?

01:39:46.000 Do you work like Comedy and Magic Club?

01:39:48.000 Yeah.

01:39:49.000 That's a great spot.

01:39:49.000 I love it, man.

01:39:50.000 I'm going down there this weekend.

01:39:51.000 Are you really?

01:39:52.000 Yeah, hopefully.

01:39:52.000 What a great club that is.

01:39:53.000 You do the improvs, all the national improvs and stuff?

01:39:57.000 No.

01:39:57.000 No?

01:39:57.000 No.

01:39:58.000 When I was a road comic, I used to, like Dave Stroop used to book me.

01:40:04.000 In Columbus?

01:40:05.000 In Columbus, and he used to pay me, for a feature act, he used to pay me well, and then he would co-feature me, co-headline me, and then he'd just start boogieing me.

01:40:15.000 I can tell you the story, I don't care. 0.99

01:40:18.000 There was this waitress that worked there, and I fucked her. 1.00

01:40:27.000 Fucked her all weekend. 1.00

01:40:28.000 But I didn't approach her. 1.00

01:40:29.000 Like, she came on to me.

01:40:30.000 Right.

01:40:30.000 Is that bad?

01:40:31.000 You're not supposed to fuck the waitress? 1.00

01:40:33.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:40:33.000 But I'm going to say, when Dave paid me, he goes, out of blue, he goes, did you fuck so-and-so? 1.00

01:40:37.000 And I was like, nah. 0.99

01:40:40.000 And then he was like, okay.

01:40:42.000 And then he's never booked me since then.

01:40:45.000 But I didn't want her to lose her.

01:40:46.000 I didn't know if I would have gotten in trouble.

01:40:48.000 What kind of a weird question is that?

01:40:49.000 It was random.

01:40:50.000 And again, dude, this comes from like...

01:40:53.000 Maybe not growing up with a dad.

01:40:55.000 I would have known how to handle that better.

01:40:57.000 But if my dad, if I had some knowledge from that.

01:41:01.000 But I just was like, I'm not going to get her fired.

01:41:03.000 I'm leaving. 1.00

01:41:04.000 So I'm not going to be like, yeah, fuck. 1.00

01:41:06.000 I was like, nah. 1.00

01:41:08.000 That's none of his fucking business. 0.99

01:41:09.000 I didn't know what to do. 1.00

01:41:10.000 It came out of nowhere.

01:41:11.000 If he's the boss.

01:41:13.000 Is he the boss or are you a private contractor?

01:41:15.000 You're kind of a private contractor, right?

01:41:16.000 Private contractor.

01:41:18.000 You come in.

01:41:19.000 It's not like you're getting health and dental from him.

01:41:21.000 Nah, but the whole thing was...

01:41:22.000 It's not like he's really your boss.

01:41:23.000 Yeah.

01:41:25.000 I used to work.

01:41:26.000 I don't know.

01:41:27.000 I mean, I was never told you couldn't.

01:41:29.000 Right.

01:41:29.000 You know what I mean?

01:41:30.000 But it's always been the case.

01:41:31.000 Guys have always done it.

01:41:32.000 Only one club, they said, don't do it.

01:41:34.000 Really?

01:41:35.000 It was a Milwaukee, the Comedy Cafe.

01:41:37.000 I used to do that room.

01:41:39.000 I get how they would see it was gross with the comedians hitting on the waitresses all the time.

01:41:43.000 But I would never...

01:41:44.000 Yeah.

01:41:45.000 I would always do my...

01:41:46.000 You know my energy, man.

01:41:47.000 I would perform and I would sit down.

01:41:49.000 And if they came over and talk, I would talk.

01:41:50.000 You know what I mean?

01:41:50.000 But I was never like...

01:41:52.000 I'm not groping.

01:41:53.000 I'm not...

01:41:54.000 I wasn't facing...

01:41:55.000 She came on to you.

01:41:55.000 She came on to me.

01:41:56.000 And it was...

01:41:56.000 It was...

01:41:57.000 It was...

01:41:57.000 Like, me...

01:41:58.000 I wrote a show about this.

01:42:01.000 Like, me and this other dude, we know...

01:42:04.000 Like, you...

01:42:07.000 Like, we... 1.00

01:42:07.000 If you're throwing the pussy at us, we won't pick it up. 1.00

01:42:11.000 Like, you have to literally be like, will you... 1.00

01:42:13.000 Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

01:42:14.000 You know what I mean?

01:42:14.000 Like, when I'm there to do comedy, I'm not conflicting.

01:42:18.000 This is where I eat, you know what I mean?

01:42:21.000 So I'm not thinking...

01:42:21.000 You're working.

01:42:22.000 I mean, I might see...

01:42:23.000 I'm definitely gonna see you. 0.91

01:42:24.000 Goddamn, you look good, but I'm not gonna... 0.94

01:42:25.000 I'm not gonna change up, you know what I mean? 0.97

01:42:28.000 And so she had...

01:42:30.000 I don't even know how it happened.

01:42:31.000 It was like...

01:42:34.000 I think she asked me if we wanted to get something to eat afterwards, and we got something to eat, and we were just talking. 0.99

01:42:40.000 And I was like, oh shit, she's flirting. 0.97

01:42:42.000 Oh, that's cool, but we were away from the club. 1.00

01:42:44.000 I was like, oh, that's what's up.

01:42:46.000 And then she made a, I need to come back to the condo.

01:42:48.000 It was like a weird, I was so goofy, like, alright. 1.00

01:42:51.000 And then, oh shit, we fucking. 0.99

01:42:53.000 But it was literally no, I was no game. 1.00

01:42:58.000 She just picked me.

01:42:59.000 I won the lotto that weekend.

01:43:00.000 Whoever she was mad at before, she was like, this dude, I want that.

01:43:05.000 And that's really how that went down.

01:43:08.000 It wasn't me thinking about it.

01:43:12.000 That's a funny thing, because you're kind of working together.

01:43:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:43:16.000 But people in bars, they always wind up hooking up. 0.73

01:43:19.000 Like, that's, like, the constant thing in bars.

01:43:22.000 Bartenders and the waitresses.

01:43:23.000 People are always doing that.

01:43:24.000 That's, like, standard.

01:43:27.000 I mean, I would say in my 20s, I was more, like...

01:43:33.000 Consciously, you know, I knew how to...

01:43:34.000 Like, I could change my act to get an audience member or whatever.

01:43:37.000 Like, all right, she's cute. 1.00

01:43:38.000 Let me talk about this topic.

01:43:39.000 She'll come up.

01:43:40.000 That was so great.

01:43:41.000 You know, and then I would know how to do all that stuff or go to the mall and invite somebody.

01:43:46.000 You know, all those moves.

01:43:47.000 Right, right, right.

01:43:48.000 But then as I got older, I didn't care.

01:43:52.000 You're more concentrated on your comedy.

01:43:54.000 Yeah, I was like...

01:43:55.000 This stage time was so valuable to me.

01:43:57.000 And I was just like, really, I just wanted to...

01:44:05.000 Right.

01:44:06.000 Right. 0.98

01:44:23.000 And then you just fucked up my line. 0.98

01:44:24.000 Like, you talk too long. 0.96

01:44:26.000 You know, so I had to learn how to, like, keep it moving.

01:44:28.000 You know what I mean?

01:44:29.000 But then I didn't really like talking to the audience that much afterwards.

01:44:32.000 If I'm doing, like, racial stuff, because it would always come back wrong.

01:44:36.000 I used to do this joke about how Busta Rhymes, I went to a Busta Rhymes concert, and it was all white. 1.00

01:44:45.000 And he yelled, oh, my real niggas, make some noise.

01:44:48.000 And everybody was like, ah. 0.98

01:44:50.000 So the punchline is like, white people are niggas now? 0.99

01:44:52.000 And I was like, oh, what did I say? 0.98

01:44:54.000 And not only can we call them niggas, they are paying $85 for the privilege to be called niggas, right? 1.00

01:45:01.000 So then my joke would be like, white people, I'll call you niggas for $10. 1.00

01:45:05.000 Ten dollars. 1.00

01:45:06.000 Nigga sale, nigga clearance. 0.99

01:45:07.000 Cash only, because I know how you niggas are. 1.00

01:45:09.000 That was a joke I would do on the road. 0.99

01:45:11.000 And then I would be out selling my DVD, and always, you know, a drunk white person would come up and give me $20 and go, nigga. 0.98

01:45:21.000 Like that. 0.97

01:45:21.000 I'd go, that's not your joke! 0.97

01:45:24.000 I'll call you, nigga. 1.00

01:45:25.000 And I'm like, ugh. 1.00

01:45:26.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:45:27.000 That's the problem when you get forbidden words. 1.00

01:45:29.000 Forbidden words, man.

01:45:30.000 You just can't wait to blurt them out.

01:45:32.000 Can't wait.

01:45:33.000 So we used to joke, like, what if that was my thing?

01:45:36.000 Like, what if I didn't sell product?

01:45:39.000 And I was like, y'all could just call me nigga at the back for $20.

01:45:42.000 And, like, just shake up the whole t-shirt, DVD selling thing. 0.97

01:45:46.000 Like, who is this guy letting white people call a nigga, you know? 0.63

01:45:49.000 But it just, it got so... 0.95

01:45:53.000 You know, it's that growth process.

01:45:55.000 Every comedian, every, I think, minority comedian wants to figure out race, like, in their 20s and early 30s. 1.00

01:46:01.000 They want to fix it or have some clever angle that no one's done before.

01:46:05.000 But the reaction to that is you do.

01:46:08.000 Like, if you work in Kentucky, the late show Friday, and here you come talking about, you know, a black man invented the golf tee because he was tired of holding the ball. 0.60

01:46:17.000 Like, they're like, what?

01:46:18.000 You know what I mean?

01:46:18.000 It's like a different...

01:46:21.000 You're figuring it out.

01:46:23.000 So now it's funny when I hear younger comics attacking race in that familiar place.

01:46:30.000 It's like, yeah, that's cool, but what's beyond that?

01:46:36.000 But it's also like you're dealing with talking to the audience.

01:46:39.000 And the problem with talking to the audience is you might run into seven people that are really cool.

01:46:43.000 And they're great to talk to you.

01:46:44.000 Like, man, I'm glad I met you. 1.00

01:46:45.000 And then you run into two drunk morons that ruin your entire night. 1.00

01:46:50.000 You're like, I can't even believe I have to talk to you. 1.00

01:46:52.000 And I'm stuck talking to you. 0.96

01:46:54.000 The problem is you think you can make fun of white people. 0.88

01:46:57.000 And white people can't say the N-word to you.

01:47:01.000 You think that's okay?

01:47:02.000 You can say it to us?

01:47:04.000 I can't have this conversation with you.

01:47:06.000 I can't do this.

01:47:08.000 Yeah, it's like you can't pick who you're meeting after those shows.

01:47:11.000 Especially if you're trying to sell something.

01:47:13.000 Yeah, so I was like, I just don't want to have to sell something.

01:47:16.000 I just want to perform.

01:47:17.000 It's too much work.

01:47:18.000 Yeah, and then I'll talk to you afterwards because I did what you paid for.

01:47:21.000 I used to take merch with me.

01:47:23.000 I did it a few times on the road.

01:47:24.000 It is grueling.

01:47:25.000 It's grueling.

01:47:26.000 I can't do it.

01:47:27.000 Can't be. 0.99

01:47:28.000 You get on a plane with so much promise if I say, well, I know dudes who would ship their shit ahead. 0.93

01:47:34.000 They would ship boxes ahead, tape everything down. 0.93

01:47:37.000 Yeah.

01:47:38.000 And you'd hear about Gabriel.

01:47:40.000 Gabriel Iglesias. 0.84

01:47:41.000 He's killing it.

01:47:41.000 A million dollars worth of t-shirts.

01:47:43.000 Like, what?

01:47:43.000 I know.

01:47:44.000 How?

01:47:45.000 What's he doing?

01:47:46.000 He's got a warehouse filled with t-shirts.

01:47:47.000 Like, what?

01:47:48.000 Yeah.

01:47:49.000 Yeah, I'm not fat, I'm fluffy.

01:47:50.000 What?

01:47:51.000 He's killing it. 0.58

01:47:52.000 Yeah.

01:47:53.000 It's an interesting world, the world of trying to figure out what your thing is.

01:47:57.000 Yeah.

01:47:57.000 You know?

01:47:58.000 Yeah.

01:47:59.000 But for you, we just got to let people fucking know, man. 0.99

01:48:02.000 Just come see me. 0.99

01:48:03.000 Yeah, let them know.

01:48:04.000 You just got to be headlining on the road, man.

01:48:06.000 I know, man.

01:48:06.000 You got to put out a special.

01:48:07.000 I know.

01:48:07.000 Has anybody approached you about a special?

01:48:09.000 No.

01:48:09.000 The two that I've done, I've done out of pocket.

01:48:12.000 I got stories about that.

01:48:14.000 I did one in 2007. I made a lot of money doing colleges.

01:48:20.000 Because I was like, how can I make some money in quick hits?

01:48:25.000 And I figured out what my act was for the college market.

01:48:29.000 And I finally, my agents would never put me in NACA Nationals.

01:48:33.000 They would always do NACA Regionals.

01:48:35.000 And NACA is the National Association of Campus Activities where, you know, you get submitted in colleges, you know.

01:48:41.000 Yeah, I did all that.

01:48:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:48:43.000 So, but I knew, and I never, I rarely or never got selected to a regional because my humor works best if...

01:48:53.000 People, if everybody can see it at that time, like what I was talking about.

01:48:57.000 So if I did something, someone from the South would be like, that's too... 0.97

01:49:00.000 But someone from up north, man, shut up. 0.98

01:49:01.000 That's dope. 0.99

01:49:02.000 You know what I mean?

01:49:02.000 So I said, Nationals would be my spot.

01:49:05.000 They finally put me in.

01:49:06.000 I get picked.

01:49:06.000 I get to do it.

01:49:08.000 And this is right when Kobe got accused of stuff.

01:49:11.000 And I had this Kobe joke that I did and my agents was like, keep it clean.

01:49:15.000 I was like, man, I'm doing this my way.

01:49:16.000 I'm listening to y'all all these years.

01:49:18.000 And I knew what the kids wanted.

01:49:20.000 I knew what the students wanted.

01:49:23.000 Once you get to their school, the act that people think they have to do to get the job...

01:49:28.000 It's your act.

01:49:29.000 Just do your act.

01:49:30.000 So I did my act.

01:49:31.000 I do these Kobe jokes in the middle.

01:49:34.000 And it changed the chemistry of the room.

01:49:37.000 You know what I mean?

01:49:38.000 Because everyone was coming out, you know, doing the safe stuff.

01:49:41.000 And then the Kobe joke that I told was, Kobe got paid $30 million to drink Sprite.

01:49:47.000 $30 million just to drink Sprite. 0.98

01:49:49.000 I go, for $30 million, I would drink my own cum. 0.97

01:49:52.000 I say this on the NACA thing, right? 0.98

01:49:53.000 I go, I know women out there who have done it for far less.

01:49:56.000 That's the joke, right?

01:49:57.000 Right.

01:49:58.000 Place goes crazy.

01:49:59.000 I get off stage.

01:50:00.000 My agent is red.

01:50:02.000 But there's a line around the corner at my booth because I was the only guy that talked about something that was happening like right then and I had a thing on it.

01:50:10.000 Get over like 120 schools.

01:50:12.000 And I did that burn.

01:50:16.000 You know what that is.

01:50:17.000 So you're saying that you made a bunch of money and then you put together a special?

01:50:20.000 Yeah, made a bunch of money, put together a special, called Anonymous, shot it in South Bend, Indiana, because I was in these writers' rooms where people were going, the Midwest doesn't get it, the Midwest doesn't get it.

01:50:29.000 And I was like, I want to show them that the Midwest gets it.

01:50:33.000 Hired everybody, right?

01:50:36.000 The director I wanted couldn't do it, referred another director.

01:50:39.000 I had already purchased the place and airtime and all that stuff.

01:50:44.000 And I had people from Everybody Hates Chris, they were going to do favors for me.

01:50:48.000 So my budget was at, say, it was at like $40,000, right?

01:50:53.000 Then I had to hire this other guy and he said, I don't like working with people I don't know.

01:50:59.000 You got to hire all my people.

01:51:01.000 Doubles my budget.

01:51:02.000 We took a scouting trip.

01:51:05.000 Met his DP. They had my act.

01:51:07.000 They knew all my moves.

01:51:08.000 Like, I had this down cold.

01:51:10.000 Terry Crews flew in and introduced me.

01:51:13.000 And when we get on the plane to fly, the director says, the DP's not going to make it.

01:51:19.000 I found out later he took another gig.

01:51:22.000 Oh.

01:51:23.000 So now I'm performing my special that I'm spending now $100,000 on in front of four camera guys who have never seen my act.

01:51:31.000 Oh, no.

01:51:33.000 And I do the special, and it went great.

01:51:37.000 Did two shows.

01:51:38.000 I'm still hype about it.

01:51:40.000 Get back the footage.

01:51:41.000 This guy, the medium shot, saw focus both shows.

01:51:46.000 No.

01:51:47.000 Blurry.

01:51:48.000 So all my punchlines are over my left shoulder, which is not how you, so I couldn't resell it.

01:51:56.000 Oh.

01:51:56.000 So I had to put it on YouTube, and my boy calls it the most expensive demo tape on YouTube.

01:52:01.000 Oh my god.

01:52:02.000 It's called Owen Smith Anonymous, and I was so, yo, I was stressed, man.

01:52:06.000 I lost a patch of hair.

01:52:08.000 It was terrible. 1.00

01:52:09.000 Did you contact the DP and go, what the fuck? 1.00

01:52:11.000 I never did. 1.00

01:52:12.000 Wow.

01:52:13.000 I never did.

01:52:13.000 That's crazy.

01:52:14.000 I never did.

01:52:15.000 How did you not? 1.00

01:52:15.000 That guy fucked you. 1.00

01:52:16.000 I just, I didn't pay the director. 1.00

01:52:19.000 To this day, I just didn't pay him.

01:52:20.000 I paid his crew.

01:52:21.000 I paid everybody else.

01:52:22.000 Biggest check I ever wrote at that time.

01:52:24.000 And I never...

01:52:25.000 What did you say to him?

01:52:26.000 I said, I'm not paying you.

01:52:27.000 I go, you know why I'm not paying you.

01:52:30.000 And I said, you had two shows to see this.

01:52:32.000 I could have done my whole act over without an audience.

01:52:35.000 Like, I knew it that well.

01:52:37.000 Right.

01:52:37.000 Just to, you know, capture this.

01:52:39.000 And my whole purpose was to resell this.

01:52:41.000 You didn't listen to me.

01:52:41.000 It was this thing, because he had only done music.

01:52:43.000 He hadn't done comedy.

01:52:45.000 Ugh.

01:52:45.000 I knew every special.

01:52:47.000 And that whole year, every director that came and directed Everybody Hates Chris episodes, I would take them to lunch.

01:52:54.000 Because if I found out they did comedy specials, I would pick their brain on how to do them.

01:52:58.000 So I was very confident in what I needed.

01:53:02.000 And this didn't work.

01:53:04.000 And so that put me, like, I was scared to spend my own money on anything.

01:53:08.000 I was scared to do anything for 10 years.

01:53:10.000 And then I shot a special on iPhones.

01:53:15.000 I bought 10 iPhones.

01:53:17.000 We lit the place right.

01:53:20.000 I shot a comedy special, and then I returned the iPhones, videotape myself, returned the iPhones, and got my money back.

01:53:26.000 And I released that special.

01:53:27.000 We sent that to Netflix, and at the time, not the people who were there now, but the people who were there before, I heard, they just said I wasn't famous enough to have a Netflix special.

01:53:37.000 There's a lot of people that aren't very famous that have Netflix specials, though.

01:53:40.000 A lot.

01:53:40.000 Yeah, that could be argued.

01:53:41.000 That could definitely be argued.

01:53:42.000 And so that was another, you know, so I just put that up on YouTube.

01:53:46.000 It's called Good Luck Everybody.

01:53:47.000 Those are the two Oh, so those are available now?

01:53:50.000 Yeah, just go watch them.

01:53:51.000 And the one that you shot with iPhones?

01:53:53.000 Good luck everybody.

01:53:54.000 How much did that cost to shoot it all with iPhones?

01:53:56.000 It cost me...

01:53:59.000 I paid an editor, so if I didn't pay him it would have cost me...

01:54:07.000 Less than a thousand dollars.

01:54:09.000 That's a great deal.

01:54:10.000 Yeah, but the editor cost me...

01:54:12.000 That's a bargain.

01:54:13.000 Maybe eight grand?

01:54:14.000 Do you remember when Dave Vittell did something where he gave people in the audience cameras and let them film him?

01:54:20.000 Yeah, it was great.

01:54:21.000 That's a smart move, man.

01:54:23.000 Yeah, if you got something to say, it don't matter how the moment is captured, I feel like, if you're saying something.

01:54:27.000 Well, just doing something like that.

01:54:28.000 I mean, especially Dave.

01:54:29.000 Like, Dave is at his best.

01:54:30.000 Have you seen Dave Vittell?

01:54:31.000 He's at his best in these small crowds.

01:54:33.000 Yes.

01:54:33.000 Small audiences.

01:54:35.000 Yeah.

01:54:35.000 Like he was at the improv last week.

01:54:37.000 Hilarious.

01:54:37.000 He went on dead last.

01:54:38.000 Yeah.

01:54:39.000 Audience is half gone.

01:54:40.000 Yeah.

01:54:40.000 Everybody's tired.

01:54:41.000 He's still hilarious.

01:54:43.000 He's fantastic, man.

01:54:44.000 I used to go up after him a lot at the cellar and it was like, it was beautiful.

01:54:49.000 Yeah.

01:54:49.000 Just the way he would.

01:54:50.000 Yeah, man.

01:54:51.000 I love watching him work.

01:54:52.000 He's a real, like a real master of his craft.

01:54:55.000 Yes.

01:54:55.000 You know, and a real veteran.

01:54:57.000 Yeah.

01:54:58.000 You know?

01:54:59.000 Yeah, nothing's going to shake this dude.

01:55:00.000 No, and he's got so much material.

01:55:03.000 So much.

01:55:03.000 He's always writing, like constantly writing, you know?

01:55:07.000 Chain smoking and writing.

01:55:08.000 I know.

01:55:09.000 I know.

01:55:09.000 Yeah, man.

01:55:10.000 So yeah, so those are the two that I've done, but nah, not yet.

01:55:13.000 Hopefully somebody approached me because I have some stuff that I really would love to...

01:55:17.000 Yeah, man, we gotta get you out there.

01:55:19.000 We gotta get you out there.

01:55:20.000 Yeah, I mean, this store right now is so crazy how many talented people are there.

01:55:24.000 Yeah, man.

01:55:25.000 Theo Vaughn lit that place on fire last night. 0.87

01:55:27.000 He's dope. 0.99

01:55:28.000 I don't want to tell any of his bits, but goddamn, he had me crying. 0.99

01:55:32.000 I mean, it's like... 0.93

01:55:34.000 There's so many people right now that are so good.

01:55:36.000 It's weird.

01:55:37.000 It's like the level at places.

01:55:40.000 Never before.

01:55:41.000 Never before.

01:55:42.000 I mean, I started there in 94, and the level was terrible.

01:55:45.000 There was a bunch of bodaks, a bunch of guys from the road. 1.00

01:55:48.000 They had started out there in the 70s, and they were still around.

01:55:52.000 They had the same act. 0.99

01:55:53.000 I mean, there was literally some people that started out there in like 78, and they were still floating around in 94, and they were just fucking terrible. 0.98

01:56:00.000 It was death.

01:56:01.000 And then somewhere around 2000 and maybe like 4 or 5 started picking back up.

01:56:09.000 And it was pretty good for a couple years.

01:56:11.000 Then I bolted in 2007 after the Carlos Mencia thing.

01:56:15.000 And I didn't come back until 2014. And now it's just hot.

01:56:20.000 I've never seen it like this.

01:56:22.000 Never seen this level.

01:56:24.000 There's so many funny guys.

01:56:26.000 The lines around the corner too are so inspiring.

01:56:28.000 Like...

01:56:29.000 Yeah.

01:56:29.000 It's amazing.

01:56:30.000 And the store helped me tremendously, especially the OR, because you can't charm your way through a bit.

01:56:39.000 You know what I mean?

01:56:39.000 You have to know what you came to say.

01:56:42.000 And I love that.

01:56:43.000 I love that it challenges you as an artist to really...

01:56:47.000 Alright, yeah, okay.

01:56:49.000 Like, you can't giggle and be like...

01:56:51.000 Right, right.

01:56:52.000 You see people try, too, and it's ugly.

01:56:54.000 It's terrible.

01:56:55.000 It's an audience filled with comedy nerds.

01:56:57.000 Yeah.

01:56:57.000 You know, there's a lot.

01:56:58.000 It's a different place now.

01:56:59.000 Yeah.

01:57:00.000 It used to be, like, you'd get away with way more there.

01:57:03.000 It's now the level's so high.

01:57:04.000 It's just the expectations are so high.

01:57:06.000 It's great, man.

01:57:07.000 Yeah.

01:57:07.000 It's the best place to build that muscle.

01:57:09.000 Because then when you go anywhere else, it's like...

01:57:12.000 I know.

01:57:13.000 It's running with weights on.

01:57:14.000 Yeah.

01:57:15.000 But listen, man, I'm glad we got you in here.

01:57:17.000 Thank you, man.

01:57:18.000 And I'm going to see you tonight.

01:57:19.000 And you're going to be on the benefit that we're doing.

01:57:21.000 I'm doing it, yeah.

01:57:21.000 From my friend Justin Wren.

01:57:22.000 That's December 6th.

01:57:23.000 That's sold out, folks.

01:57:25.000 Yes.

01:57:25.000 That's for the Fight for the Forgotten.

01:57:27.000 They build wells in the Congo, and that's going to be at the Comedy Store. 0.98

01:57:30.000 It'll be you and me and Tom Segura, Tom Papa, Tony Hinchcliffe.

01:57:35.000 Let's get it.

01:57:36.000 And Whitney.

01:57:37.000 Whitney Cummings.

01:57:37.000 Hey!

01:57:38.000 Powerful.

01:57:38.000 All right.

01:57:39.000 We'll see you guys soon.

01:57:39.000 Cool.

01:57:40.000 Thank you.

01:57:40.000 Owen Smith, ladies and gentlemen.

01:57:41.000 Yeah.

01:57:41.000 Oh, what's your Twitter?

01:57:42.000 Tell people.

01:57:43.000 Owen Smith, for real.

01:57:44.000 Number four.

01:57:45.000 Number four real.

01:57:46.000 And Instagram?

01:57:47.000 Same thing.

01:57:47.000 All right.

01:57:48.000 Beautiful.

01:57:48.000 Thanks, brother.

01:57:49.000 Yeah.

01:57:49.000 Thank you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - November 29, 2017

Joe Rogan Experience #1046 - Owen Smith

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Summary

Transcript