The Joe Rogan Experience - February 08, 2018


Joe Rogan Experience #1075 - Duncan Trussell

Topics
Flat Earth mythology ideas and creativity midi sprout and plant bioelectricity conversion meditation and psychedelics kids shows Tupperware shit thing Trumpy Bear General Petraeus affair murdered Canadian billionaire couple podcasts ball lightning shame bell dicks escape velocity and moon gravity faking footage moon landing Operation Paperclip alien artifacts on the moon cascading levels of absurdity Ben Nice to yourself jealousy and suffering watching video games Quake 1 tournament strategy Quake Champions Overwatch League Techno Hunt game
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Duncan Trussell
Mentioned
Duncan Trussell Young Jamie Dude John Anthony West Trumpy Bear Jeff Sessions Elon Musk Charlton Heston Jordan Peterson John Doe Michael Hastings Ram Dass Twitch Elliot Smith Graham Hancock Wyatt Ingram Steve Bannon Wyatt Koch Jack Kornfield Bayer Aspirin and 95 more
Joe Rogan Experience #1074 - Cameron Hanes Joe Rogan Experience #1076 - Phil Demers

Episode Stats


Length

3 hours and 28 minutes

Words per minute

190.71

Word count

39,680

Sentence count

4,544

Harmful content

Misogyny

211

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,534

sentences flagged

Hate speech

122

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we pay our respects to John Anthony West, who passed away yesterday at the age of 83. He was a brilliant geologist, and one of the most influential people in the field of Ancient Egyptology. We talk about his life, his work, and the impact he had on the field, and how important it was to have someone like him on the show. We also talk about the controversy surrounding the timeline of the pyramids and the Sphinx, and whether or not there is any evidence that pushes the timeline back by thousands of years. And, of course, we talk about The Mystery of The Sphinx and why we think it might have been built in the late 1500s, not the early 2000s. Thanks to everyone who helped make this podcast possible, and thanks to all the people who contributed to making it possible in the first place. Rest in Paradise, John Anthony. -Jonathon West, you were an amazing man, and we'll miss you forever. -Jon and Matt, Jon and Matt - Jon & Matt - Thank you so much for being a part of this podcast, and thank you for all the support, love, support, and support of the podcast, thank you, and all the hard work you all put this podcast out there! Timestamps: 4:00 - What is the timeline? 6:30 - Who was the most important person in Egyptology? 7:00 8:20 - Who is the greatest Egyptologist? 9:40 - What do you think of the best? 11:15 - What would you like to see in Egypt? 14:00: Is there a timeline that is more accurate? 16:00-16:00 What are you most important to you? 17:00 Is there more accurate than the timeline you would like to know? 18:00 Do you have a timeline you'd like to have? 19:10 - What are your favorite piece of evidence? 21:00 How long ago? 22:00 Why do you like it? 25:00 Does it matter? 26:00 Who are you think it's better? 27:00 Can you see it better than it matters? 29:00 Should it be better than that? 30:00 Are you more than 5,000 years earlier? 35:00 Could it be 5,500 years ago?

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:06.000 Before we even start the podcast, rest in peace, John Anthony West.
00:00:11.000 He died yesterday.
00:00:13.000 One of the coolest guys ever.
00:00:14.000 One of my favorite people that I ever got on the podcast.
00:00:17.000 The first and only full guest that I've ever done on Skype.
00:00:21.000 The only reason why I did it on Skype is because he wasn't feeling well and he couldn't fly to California.
00:00:27.000 So I said, this guy's so important.
00:00:28.000 I generally like to have conversations with people when they're in the room.
00:00:31.000 I think they go more friendly and they're smoother that way.
00:00:34.000 You can work through any bumps easier that way.
00:00:36.000 Yeah.
00:00:36.000 You feel better.
00:00:37.000 It feels like it's real. 0.95
00:00:39.000 I mean, but he was so important to me, I would have fucking taken a raven note. 0.52
00:00:44.000 You know, I mean, he just...
00:00:46.000 If you've never seen the DVD series Magical Egypt, it's truly an amazing piece of work.
00:00:55.000 It's, I think, six DVDs all about the history of Egypt and the immense complexity of the structures that are built there.
00:01:06.000 The appreciation this guy had for what the Egyptians did was just off the charts. 1.00
00:01:10.000 He was just...
00:01:12.000 It's so deeply engaged with it.
00:01:15.000 It was such a giant part of his life and The passion and the curiosity that he had in the knowledge that he had in these DVDs Would come through and you would just be like holding your face watching him going.
00:01:28.000 Oh my god.
00:01:29.000 These are amazing just up what a crazy time in human history this weird blip in the middle of North Africa, where these people just went way past everybody else! 0.96
00:01:45.000 Just way past!
00:01:47.000 And they did it for a long time, man.
00:01:50.000 They did it in this one spot for who knows how long.
00:01:53.000 It was thousands and thousands of years.
00:01:56.000 Graham Hancock and John Anthony West are the people that are really at the front of the line in terms of the public eye of pushing the timeline back.
00:02:07.000 And there's real evidence for it.
00:02:09.000 Yeah, sure.
00:02:10.000 I mean, Hancock's getting super vindicated right now.
00:02:12.000 He is, and, you know, John Anthony West got vindicated as well by Robert Schock, who's a geologist from Boston University.
00:02:20.000 He went to Egypt and he studied the enclosure that the Sphinx was in, and he's the guy that determined that you were looking at fissures that were created by thousands of years of rainfall, which would push back, because what we know about what the climate was like in that area, apparently it pushes it back to somewhere around 9,000 years ago,
00:02:37.000 which is crazy.
00:02:39.000 Because, look, however old it was, Sure.
00:02:46.000 Sure.
00:03:02.000 Crazy spot, man.
00:03:04.000 Forget about the confusion and the conflict around the timeline.
00:03:10.000 Just what it is.
00:03:11.000 Those people were on another level.
00:03:14.000 What is the main reason people get so pissed off at Hancock and West for trying to push the timeline back?
00:03:21.000 Because they've been teaching one timeline for a long time.
00:03:24.000 They don't want to admit that they were wrong.
00:03:26.000 If somebody publishes a book about the timeline and just definitively says, we know now that Egypt was a hunter-gatherer culture that somewhere around 3000 BC erupted into this incredible civilization.
00:03:43.000 Right.
00:03:45.000 They've just been teaching that for so long.
00:03:47.000 I mean, they've been teaching not that version of it, but their version is more accurate than what I just said.
00:03:52.000 I was just making up numbers.
00:03:53.000 But the point is, what they've been teaching is probably not right.
00:03:57.000 And if they wrote books about it, they've taught classes about it, all these people...
00:04:01.000 So it's ego?
00:04:02.000 It's just the ego of scientists?
00:04:04.000 There is 100% some ego involved.
00:04:06.000 Because there was a conversation that John Anthony West and Dr. Robert Shock had with an Egyptologist.
00:04:13.000 And the Egyptologist, this was on a television show that was actually on TV. It was on like NBC. It was called The Mystery of the Sphinx.
00:04:20.000 It was actually narrated by Charlton Heston.
00:04:24.000 And it was all about John Anthony West's work and about Graham Hancock's work and Robert Shock's work.
00:04:31.000 And when they brought this geological evidence to these Egyptologists, they were openly mocking it, like laughing in this weird way.
00:04:41.000 What evidence is there for this civilization back then?
00:04:45.000 How much evidence do you think would be there?
00:04:47.000 You have to realize how long ago he's talking about.
00:04:51.000 He's talking about maybe 10,500 BC. Right.
00:04:55.000 Maybe earlier. 0.98
00:04:56.000 They think it might have all started somewhere around 30,000 years ago, which is just fucking bananas. 0.97
00:05:01.000 Oh, there it is. 0.94
00:05:02.000 Mystery of the Sphinx.
00:05:03.000 Powerful.
00:05:04.000 Jamie finds it online.
00:05:05.000 There they are.
00:05:06.000 John Anthony West.
00:05:09.000 He literally dedicated his life to absorbing as much information as possible about the nature of the construction, the time periods, the hieroglyphs.
00:05:22.000 I mean, it's just an amazing, amazing body of work that that guy put together.
00:05:28.000 Powerful Charlton Heston.
00:05:29.000 Look at him.
00:05:30.000 Look at that. 1.00
00:05:31.000 He's fucking handsome. 0.98
00:05:31.000 I would hang out with him. 0.98
00:05:32.000 I don't care.
00:05:33.000 Even if he was wacky.
00:05:34.000 He wanted to talk about guns all day.
00:05:36.000 I'd be like, come on, Charlton.
00:05:37.000 Hell yeah, you'd hang out with Charlton Heston.
00:05:39.000 Who's going to turn down Charlton Heston?
00:05:41.000 Do you remember when Charlton Heston had a gun on TV and he was like, they'll take my rifle away when they pry my cold, dead hands off of it?
00:05:50.000 Did he hold up a rifle when he said that?
00:05:52.000 Or am I imagining this?
00:05:53.000 I don't know, man.
00:05:54.000 I think he probably did.
00:05:55.000 That is so crazy.
00:05:57.000 Why not?
00:05:57.000 Why not?
00:05:58.000 Why not? 1.00
00:05:59.000 Why not hold up your fucking massive cymbal for your cock? 1.00
00:06:02.000 Your Harry Potter? 1.00
00:06:03.000 He said it!
00:06:04.000 It's real!
00:06:04.000 It's just as I imagined!
00:06:06.000 You will never take my cock from me! 1.00
00:06:08.000 It's even better because it's a musket. 1.00
00:06:09.000 Why not just hold up a rock?
00:06:11.000 Just like a rock! 1.00
00:06:12.000 I kill! 0.99
00:06:14.000 Grok kills with rock! 0.99
00:06:16.000 Huh?
00:06:16.000 Yeah.
00:06:17.000 People get fucking really passionate about that. 0.99
00:06:20.000 That is guns, circumcision. 0.98
00:06:24.000 I am all for responsible people being able to own guns, but I'm also completely in agreement with people that say that there's too many people out there committing crimes with guns.
00:06:38.000 So how do you clean all that up?
00:06:41.000 I do not know.
00:06:42.000 Well, it's worth thinking about.
00:06:44.000 It is worth thinking about.
00:06:45.000 And it's worth talking about.
00:06:46.000 And people get upset when you start talking about it because they want it to be just, no, we have a right to have any kind of gun that we want.
00:06:52.000 But I think they're missing one of the real big problems, which we're just weirdly seeing the very beginning of it, dude.
00:07:01.000 And this ties in. 0.97
00:07:02.000 You know how, like, Elon Musk just blasted a fucking car into space? 0.99
00:07:06.000 He blasted a Tesla into space. 0.98
00:07:07.000 There's a Tesla floating around the planet now.
00:07:10.000 And, like, the way that connects with guns is, um, this is an example of technology falling into the hands of, like, a private company.
00:07:19.000 This isn't the government. 0.96
00:07:20.000 This is, like, Elon fucking badass. 0.98
00:07:23.000 I go to Burning Man, Musk. 0.98
00:07:25.000 A dude who goes to Burning Man shot a fucking Tesla into space, which is now, I guess, going to rotate around the planet for some certain... 0.97
00:07:34.000 I don't know how long it's going to be up there. 0.98
00:07:36.000 Well, I think it's going to Mars. 0.99
00:07:37.000 Oh, that fucking thing's going to... 1.00
00:07:39.000 Isn't it? 0.99
00:07:40.000 It's putting an orbit around Mars.
00:07:41.000 It missed.
00:07:42.000 It's going past Mars. 1.00
00:07:43.000 Oh, you fucked up, Elon. 1.00
00:07:44.000 Well, guess what, man? 1.00
00:07:45.000 That could have been my mom! 0.82
00:07:47.000 My mom could build on that plane! 1.00
00:07:50.000 You fucking asshole! 1.00
00:07:52.000 You fucked up, Elon! 1.00
00:07:53.000 You could have done better, dum-dum, with your rockets that can land and shooting a car in his face. 1.00
00:07:59.000 That is what happens when you take it out of the government's hands and put it in a genius's hands.
00:08:03.000 But he's got a very unique ability to get things done.
00:08:05.000 Sure.
00:08:06.000 Like that boring project that he's doing under L.A.? Flamethrowers?
00:08:09.000 There's certain guys...
00:08:11.000 That are so smart that everybody goes, okay.
00:08:13.000 Sure.
00:08:14.000 Everybody just steps back and goes, what do you want to do?
00:08:16.000 You want to dig holes through the bottom?
00:08:17.000 What if you went to the LA City Council meeting and it's like, look, guys, I can fix this traffic thing.
00:08:23.000 What I'm going to do is I'm going to drill holes underneath the ground and I'm going to put your car on a high-speed sled and you don't even drive. 0.83
00:08:29.000 It starts up like this.
00:08:30.000 It's like, okay, guys.
00:08:32.000 So you've been, remember the old, like how you used to be at the banks?
00:08:35.000 With the suction tubes where you take the tube and your mom puts the check in and it gets sucked in. 0.98
00:08:41.000 I'm going to do that with fucking buses under the city. 0.99
00:08:45.000 What do you think? 1.00
00:08:46.000 Write the check!
00:08:48.000 They're not going to let you do it.
00:08:49.000 But the thing where it connects to guns is it's like We're looking at the very, very, very beginning of private individuals having access to technology that normally was in the hands of the state or governments, and this is the very crazy beginning of it.
00:09:05.000 I didn't know he was shooting it at Mars. 0.65
00:09:07.000 For some reason, I thought that fucking thing was going to rotate around the Earth, which made me worry that we're going to end up with a ring of billionaire cars. 0.96
00:09:18.000 Because it would be like the coolest thing for billionaires to do. 0.98
00:09:21.000 Did you shoot your car up in space yet?
00:09:23.000 Nope.
00:09:24.000 Also, a great way to dispose of bodies because like there's that astronaut in there and I keep thinking like, I bet that's one of Elon Musk's enemies. 0.98
00:09:32.000 I bet he, that could be a body in there and no one would ever fucking... 0.96
00:09:36.000 Could you imagine if it is? 1.00
00:09:37.000 Imagine if it's just some asshole who robbed Elon Musk in a business deal. 1.00
00:09:41.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:09:42.000 So shot the guy and have one of his flunkies stuff him into a car. 0.99
00:09:46.000 Yeah. 0.95
00:09:46.000 He just disappeared. 0.95
00:09:48.000 He just disappeared. 1.00
00:09:49.000 That could be fucking anybody, man. 1.00
00:09:51.000 Ground control to Major Tom. 0.98
00:09:53.000 And then also what's really badass about this is the flat earthers are now really having problems because of the...
00:10:00.000 Somebody sent me a video today showing me that it's fake.
00:10:03.000 Somebody on Twitter showing me that this is fake.
00:10:05.000 It's fake, bro.
00:10:06.000 It's fake, bro.
00:10:07.000 What's fake?
00:10:08.000 Everything.
00:10:09.000 The moon, the sky, the guy, the car, your mom.
00:10:12.000 It's all fake.
00:10:13.000 Your mom is flat. 0.99
00:10:14.000 Fake, fake, fake, fake, fake. 1.00
00:10:17.000 Your mom's flat as fuck, man. 1.00
00:10:19.000 Your mom's flatter than the planet Earth, bro. 1.00
00:10:21.000 And the Earth's flat.
00:10:22.000 But isn't this like the...
00:10:24.000 What's crazy about the John Anthony West stuff and the Graham Hancock stuff is like, in the way that flat Earth in a delusional, insane way...
00:10:32.000 Sort of forces you to imagine yourself existing in a universe that's completely different than what you thought.
00:10:38.000 And I think that's why it's really appealing.
00:10:40.000 Like, it's an appealing, cool, beautiful, hilarious mythology.
00:10:44.000 It's just like, whoa, how cool would that be if we really were on a flat earth?
00:10:47.000 And like, if I just keep going in one direction...
00:10:49.000 Hit the ice wall. 0.99
00:10:50.000 Hit the ice wall, but over the fucking ice wall, now we're in the land of the greys, you know? 0.99
00:10:55.000 I'm no longer trapped. 0.95
00:10:56.000 I'm not, it's like, it's a freeing feeling because like, even though it's not like I travel enough to feel stuck in fucking California, which is an insane thing, there's a little piece of us that knows we're never going to go into space.
00:11:09.000 We're never going to get past, we're never going to, how do you get off the map?
00:11:13.000 You know what I mean? 0.59
00:11:14.000 Like, there's something in a human that wants to get off the fucking map, where you end up in a place that hasn't been charted yet. 0.75
00:11:19.000 And that's an experience that's gone, basically. 0.94
00:11:22.000 I mean, I imagine swaths of the Amazon, perhaps, or someplace deep, deep in the Arctic, maybe in a cave or something. 0.91
00:11:29.000 But it used to be people just didn't fucking know. 0.82
00:11:31.000 You could go off the map, and you had no idea. 0.99
00:11:34.000 And I think that must have been the biggest rush, to be on a ship, And looking at the maps that you guys have, and you're like, fuck, dude. 0.97
00:11:42.000 This is... 0.99
00:11:43.000 We don't know where we're at here, man.
00:11:45.000 Like, this is unknown, uncharted terrain.
00:11:48.000 So Flat Earth is a really...
00:11:49.000 I'm not...
00:11:50.000 I don't believe the Earth is flat.
00:11:52.000 I think it's more like a triangle shape. 0.99
00:11:55.000 I think it's a big dick. 1.00
00:11:56.000 It's a giant... 1.00
00:11:57.000 It's a cosmic dick. 1.00
00:11:59.000 We're looking at the head of the dick. 1.00
00:12:00.000 And they just don't want us to know that because it's kind of embarrassing. 1.00
00:12:05.000 Fucking Earth looks like a big spinning dick. 1.00
00:12:07.000 It's all CGI, bro. 1.00
00:12:10.000 Shaped like a dick. 1.00
00:12:11.000 It's just a big blue and white fucking dick. 1.00
00:12:14.000 Green. 1.00
00:12:15.000 Yeah, why do people want that?
00:12:17.000 We always want things to be weird, right?
00:12:20.000 We want...
00:12:20.000 Like, the Flat Earth one is my favorite one, because...
00:12:25.000 Could you imagine if they were right?
00:12:26.000 Imagine if the whole planet thought the world was round.
00:12:30.000 And there's all this information that shows the world is round.
00:12:32.000 Thousands of years ago, people were doing calculations or sticking sticks into the ground at equal distance and measuring them and trying to see if there's curvature.
00:12:42.000 There's always been people that suspected the Earth was round way before they could ever figure it out.
00:12:46.000 They were trying to say, well, the moon is round, the sun is round, this is round, huh, probably this is round. 0.97
00:12:53.000 You know, she would kind of think, well, how big is this fucking thing? 0.85
00:12:56.000 And then if you get up high enough, you can kind of see, like, wow, if it's just really big, I see, like, a very slight curvature. 0.99
00:13:03.000 Like, maybe I do. 0.99
00:13:04.000 Am I mind fucking myself? 1.00
00:13:06.000 Right. 1.00
00:13:07.000 And you just sat around and mindfucked yourself into thinking that it was all a scam. 0.59
00:13:12.000 Yeah.
00:13:13.000 And that the world is actually flat.
00:13:15.000 And then gravity isn't real either.
00:13:17.000 Everybody's wrong.
00:13:18.000 Yeah.
00:13:19.000 Except a guy on YouTube.
00:13:20.000 It's exciting.
00:13:22.000 It's magnets that pull people into the earth.
00:13:24.000 Dude, your life gets so exciting at that point.
00:13:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:13:26.000 Because now you feel danger.
00:13:29.000 Yes. 1.00
00:13:29.000 You're risking your fucking ass by getting out there because the nassholes are going to take you out. 1.00
00:13:35.000 The Clinton Foundation finds out about your theories about the earth being flat. 1.00
00:13:40.000 You're fucked. 1.00
00:13:41.000 They'll come get you. 1.00
00:13:41.000 They're going to get you. 1.00
00:13:42.000 So now you get to live in maybe a not very happy world, but an exciting world because you're seeing vans, you're seeing fucking... 0.98
00:13:51.000 By the way, this is not to say...
00:13:53.000 That there isn't some massive, huge, unknown swath of reality that's sitting right in front of us at all times that's actively being hidden by the United States government and the military who has the technology that they finally detected the thing and they don't want us to know because they know if we know, 0.93
00:14:10.000 who the fuck knows what the reason is?
00:14:11.000 But they don't want us to know just yet. 0.98
00:14:13.000 I'm not saying that's not the case.
00:14:15.000 I'm just saying with Flat Earth in particular... 0.97
00:14:17.000 You're freaking me the fuck out, man. 0.97
00:14:18.000 What do you know? 0.99
00:14:19.000 What do I know?
00:14:20.000 What do you know? 0.99
00:14:20.000 Man, the fucking problem is I can't talk about it yet. 0.99
00:14:23.000 Oh. 0.99
00:14:24.000 Stop getting the check they're like you can't like we will tell you but you can't you can't completely reveal this seems like one of the videos that would play before you like were first loading up Half-Life 10 This is a new new Half-Life the government's hiding a dimension.
00:14:42.000 Well, I mean it did just come out what that they picked up some kind of UFO like the government did release UFO video.
00:14:53.000 I always assume, and this is Captain Skeptical over here, I always assume if the government is ever saying that there's UFOs or something really crazy like that, it's to hide some shit they're doing in like Guatemala. 0.97
00:15:06.000 It's like they don't want anybody to be paying attention to something weird they're doing. 0.82
00:15:10.000 So they'll just start talking about UFOs.
00:15:12.000 Everybody's like, for real?
00:15:13.000 Like a real spaceship?
00:15:15.000 You got a video, man?
00:15:17.000 I mean, it's a really huge question mark.
00:15:20.000 And there are people out there who say they have answers to why.
00:15:24.000 This idea is there's a gradual dissemination of information that's happening because they're priming the pump.
00:15:32.000 And then it splits into two versions. 1.00
00:15:35.000 One of the versions of the stories is Fuck! 0.99
00:15:38.000 If you want to dominate a planet, get them kind of like subconsciously, subliminally primed for the idea that, you know, I think there's some really advanced technology out there and there's aliens riding around in it and we've made contact. 0.98
00:15:54.000 We've made contact with, they call themselves the Galactic Council of Celestial Elders, and they've been making contact with us for the last 50 years, and they've been instructing us in how to not only reveal themselves to you,
00:16:09.000 but to To let the technology come out in a way that's not going to be completely catastrophic for our society.
00:16:15.000 They're peace-loving, wonderful beings, but we've decided to follow their instructions to the T, and so now they're ready to introduce themselves.
00:16:25.000 And then suddenly an alien is on TV. Suddenly, the government is using a completely made-up thing to try to dominate the planet by saying, no, it's aliens.
00:16:37.000 We found them.
00:16:38.000 When, in fact, it's Project Blue Beam, right?
00:16:42.000 That's one of the ideas. 0.99
00:16:43.000 The other idea is, all that shit's true. 0.93
00:16:45.000 There's a thing that happens when a planet reaches a certain level of technological sophistication that it gets contacted by some kind of Order, council, federation of sentient technological Civilizations and they sort of begin to like walk the planet through phases of getting that shit out into the world in a way that isn't going to fuck up their planet and they know how to do it. 0.96
00:17:15.000 They have a system in place.
00:17:16.000 They don't come from the stars.
00:17:18.000 They're not something detectable by telescopes.
00:17:21.000 They're like in the DMT realm or they're like existing in some alternate dimension and technology is just one of the things that they use to communicate with us.
00:17:31.000 I've been toying around with this idea for a long time, most of the time when I'm really high, that ideas are a life form.
00:17:40.000 It's not as simple as your creativity putting together some pieces that weren't there before.
00:17:46.000 I think it's that, but I think it's also you're tuning into something.
00:17:51.000 You're tuning into some weird, like some of the ideas almost seem to write themselves, and it could be because of the subconscious process of your mind, but it also could be because that these, what ideas are, and what just the concept of thinking is, it's essentially the seeds of creation,
00:18:08.000 right?
00:18:09.000 Everything that's ever existed on earth that humans have invented and built came from a mind.
00:18:16.000 It came from thinking.
00:18:18.000 How do I put together this house?
00:18:20.000 How do I put together this skyscraper?
00:18:23.000 How do I make a plane?
00:18:24.000 How do I make a TV? How do I make a this?
00:18:26.000 How do I make a that?
00:18:27.000 Like we're vessels for ideas.
00:18:28.000 We're like sitting there with all these neurons firing and electricity going left and right and all these areas of our brains lighting up.
00:18:36.000 It's catching ideas.
00:18:37.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:18:38.000 And when I'm super gone, especially on edibles, sometimes I feel like I'm in a river of ideas and I'm naked and I can't hold the fish.
00:18:48.000 They're just flying by me.
00:18:49.000 I'm like, Jesus, just trying to get these ideas.
00:18:52.000 That's right.
00:18:53.000 It almost feels like these are not my ideas.
00:18:55.000 These are ideas that I'm working hard.
00:18:57.000 I've put in the effort to go out and fish for these ideas. 0.75
00:19:01.000 Well, it's kind of like, imagine if there was a technology that could, like we send out these signals into space, satellites with fucking records in them, but perhaps other civilizations are blasting the planet with ideas, 0.57
00:19:18.000 That are designed to be picked up by the scope of the human mind. 0.94
00:19:22.000 Yeah.
00:19:22.000 And so what you're doing is you're actually, like, popping into an alien frequency, which is filled with all these various ideas that are part of the cultivation of a planet to, like, try to get it to the point of, like, being able to make contact.
00:19:34.000 And they're just seeding us with... 1.00
00:19:38.000 I mean, fuck! 1.00
00:19:39.000 When you read, like, John Lilly and... 0.99
00:19:42.000 Read about Tesla and read about a lot of the great inventions that have happened. 0.99
00:19:47.000 The people who had the epiphanous moment, it wasn't like they were scrunching their fucking forehead. 0.96
00:19:52.000 It was like the idea came to them in a vision. 0.98
00:19:55.000 How many times do you hear over and over again, it came to me in a vision, a dream?
00:19:59.000 Do you know that the very notion of science itself came to, supposedly, like the birth of science, came from a dream that Descartes had?
00:20:08.000 Really?
00:20:08.000 Yeah, he had a dream that...
00:20:11.000 I forget exactly the term that he...
00:20:13.000 the way they used it.
00:20:14.000 I'm sure it was deciphered too, right?
00:20:15.000 Like, what did he originally speak?
00:20:17.000 What language?
00:20:18.000 Descartes?
00:20:19.000 Descartes speak. 1.00
00:20:20.000 Fuck, I don't know, man. 1.00
00:20:21.000 Like, I think it was, like, classic nerd. 1.00
00:20:27.000 He was...
00:20:28.000 He was out, like, at war.
00:20:32.000 He was, like, campaigning.
00:20:33.000 He was French.
00:20:34.000 He's French.
00:20:35.000 He was...
00:20:36.000 I believe it was like he was on a military campaign in the army or something along those lines.
00:20:41.000 And he signed up for adventure to go off into the military.
00:20:46.000 And during that time period he had a dream that something about to be able to harness nature, it would be done in weights and measurements.
00:20:58.000 I forget exactly the term.
00:21:00.000 See if you can find the term That was essentially what people say, this is really, when you talk about the very birth of, like, the earliest you could trace back the idea of modern science, like the ethics and the ideas, the concepts of modern science, came from a dream.
00:21:16.000 It goes, I mean, before Descartes, we're dealing with, like, it gets really interesting, because you're dealing with the alchemists, like John Dee, who were...
00:21:25.000 I mean, John Dee was someone who was...
00:21:26.000 Who's John Dee?
00:21:27.000 John Dee is this, like, you know Jason Louv, you know who that is?
00:21:31.000 No.
00:21:32.000 He's an author. 0.99
00:21:32.000 He just wrote this fucking badass book on John Dee. 0.99
00:21:35.000 He's this, one of those people, kind of like Crowley, who had this huge impact on society, but we don't really know a lot. 0.99
00:21:43.000 Most people don't know who the fuck he was. 0.99
00:21:45.000 Right. 0.99
00:21:45.000 But you've heard of, like... 0.99
00:21:47.000 uh the enochian tablets or like the enochian angels basically john d was like an alchemist who was working with queen elizabeth to try to turn lead into gold which was a you know a big pursuit back then which is like if we could turn if we can transmute metals into gold it's like i mean yeah they all tried to do that right was that when they first started recognizing elements like when did they first start recognizing elements Probably that.
00:22:16.000 It must be through alchemy, because they're trying to break things down to their fundamental components.
00:22:24.000 How many movies are about that?
00:22:25.000 Someone trying to make gold?
00:22:26.000 Well, I mean, it's one of the great pursuits.
00:22:30.000 And it's actually, it's what we're still doing.
00:22:34.000 Only we're not trying to turn lead into gold, we're trying to turn lead into a thinking machine.
00:22:39.000 That's what we're doing now. 0.92
00:22:40.000 Because better than turning matter into gold, if you can turn matter into a fucking thing that is thinking and sentient, then it can figure out how to turn lead into gold by its advanced ability to process data. 0.95
00:22:52.000 And if you were an alien race, you would be concerned about nuclear weapons for sure, but you would really be concerned about artificial life. 0.96
00:22:59.000 Sure. 0.99
00:22:59.000 What are you assholes about to hit the switch on? 0.99
00:23:02.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:23:02.000 Have you thought this through? 1.00
00:23:03.000 We're like those minions in Despicable Me where we're just wrecking shit and eating nails. 0.99
00:23:08.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:23:10.000 We're just trying things, sticking electrical sockets in our heads. 1.00
00:23:14.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:23:14.000 Dude. 1.00
00:23:15.000 Can you imagine if beings in the DMT realm decided to start setting off nuclear explosions? 0.96
00:23:20.000 I mean, maybe that's what an earthquake is.
00:23:22.000 Maybe when we have an earthquake, it's like a nuclear test in another dimension shaking our planet.
00:23:28.000 Yeah, I said it. 0.98
00:23:29.000 No, I don't fucking believe it. 1.00
00:23:31.000 I can already hear the people being like, what the fuck? 1.00
00:23:35.000 What are you talking about, man? 0.99
00:23:36.000 June 8th, 1637, Descartes codifies scientific method.
00:23:43.000 Wow, interesting.
00:23:45.000 He outlines his rules for understanding the natural world through reason and skepticism, forming the foundation of the scientific method still in use today.
00:23:54.000 There's a term that he had that he came up with like in a dream.
00:24:00.000 See if you can find that because there was like a phrase that he said, obviously translated from French. 0.98
00:24:07.000 The reason Descartes fucking bugs me... 0.96
00:24:11.000 No, it's not I think therefore I am. 0.99
00:24:13.000 But that was obviously an interesting one. 0.97
00:24:16.000 He liked to do shit like, and I could be wrong about this, but I clearly remember reading about this. 0.97
00:24:21.000 He was like, what do you call it? 0.98
00:24:23.000 A mechanist?
00:24:24.000 Or like he believed that animals were just machines, basically.
00:24:27.000 And so...
00:24:30.000 Jamie, if you could look this up so I don't get assuaged with people being like, that's a different person. 0.99
00:24:35.000 But apparently, he would do shit like hold a dog's beating heart in his hand while it died. 0.97
00:24:42.000 And he said things like, people who are afraid to kick dogs aren't really my students. 0.99
00:24:47.000 Look that up, Jamie.
00:24:49.000 Are you sure that's not like propaganda?
00:24:51.000 If there was like an Infowars.com back then, you'd be like, what's going on here?
00:24:55.000 This is why I'm covering it with like, I'm not sure.
00:24:57.000 They're saying he's out there kicking dogs!
00:24:58.000 I think he was kicking dogs.
00:25:00.000 I think Descartes liked to kick...
00:25:00.000 What I just found is pretty rough.
00:25:02.000 Maybe they all kicked dogs back then.
00:25:04.000 In a nutshell, Frank philosopher Rene Descartes didn't believe animals had souls.
00:25:09.000 To test his theory, he nailed his wife's dog to a board and chopped it open while the poor thing was still alive.
00:25:14.000 Fun guy.
00:25:15.000 Fun guy. 1.00
00:25:16.000 Creator of science was nailing dogs to fucking boards. 1.00
00:25:19.000 Where'd you read this? 1.00
00:25:21.000 How do we know this is real? 0.98
00:25:22.000 It's on FuckDecart.com. 0.99
00:25:24.000 Knowledge nuts. 1.00
00:25:25.000 Knowledge nuts. 0.92
00:25:25.000 I hope you really are knowledge nuts. 0.92
00:25:27.000 I'm nuts for knowledge! 0.97
00:25:30.000 Look at that guy's face, dude. 1.00
00:25:32.000 That guy definitely looks like he fucking nailed dogs to boards. 1.00
00:25:35.000 Look at that fucking face. 1.00
00:25:37.000 Look at it! 1.00
00:25:38.000 Look at it squirm!
00:25:40.000 The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as the greatest virtues.
00:25:44.000 That's what he said after he cut open the cat. 0.99
00:25:46.000 Dude, so that's like, it's the father of science is also like, that's Jeffrey Dahmer level shit, too. 0.99
00:25:52.000 Like, he was not... 0.98
00:25:53.000 I think people did a lot of that back then.
00:25:56.000 Nailing dogs to boards?
00:25:57.000 I just think the value of life was severely diminished.
00:26:03.000 I think back then the 1600s people were dying left and right of everything.
00:26:06.000 You got a cold?
00:26:07.000 Dead.
00:26:08.000 Break your leg? 0.99
00:26:09.000 Dead. 0.93
00:26:09.000 Get gored by a bull? 0.93
00:26:11.000 Dead.
00:26:11.000 Everything?
00:26:12.000 Dead.
00:26:13.000 Oh, you got an infection?
00:26:14.000 Dead.
00:26:15.000 You got the flu? 0.92
00:26:16.000 Probably dead.
00:26:16.000 But that's definitely in Europe.
00:26:18.000 Like in India, I'm not saying in India it was like a utopia and everyone was sweet to animals, but in Buddhism it was like there was...
00:26:26.000 It was a lot more compassionate.
00:26:27.000 That's true.
00:26:28.000 Why do you think that happened?
00:26:30.000 Why does, like, Thailand and places that are Buddhist places generally, I mean, obviously there's violence everywhere, but generally more of a peaceful vibe, right?
00:26:40.000 Like Buddhist nations and Buddhist countries, a little bit more, obviously, flaws with everything. 0.99
00:26:44.000 Yes.
00:26:45.000 Anything involving people, you're going to have outliers.
00:26:47.000 But over and all, like, one of the things that my friend was telling me about Thailand, he was like, dude, there's no crime over there.
00:26:54.000 He's like, you just go over there.
00:26:56.000 It's like real easy, real easy to get along with everybody.
00:26:59.000 It's super safe.
00:27:01.000 Nobody gets robbed.
00:27:02.000 It's really rare.
00:27:04.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
00:27:06.000 I don't understand why that way of thinking emerged in the East and that connection with the self emerged in the East versus what happened in the West, which was basically decimation of a previous religion,
00:27:23.000 paganism, whatever you want to call it, earth-based religion, connection with life and nature.
00:27:28.000 What's really interesting to me about that is that the DNA of paganism is still in the system.
00:27:32.000 It's almost like we absorbed it.
00:27:34.000 Yeah.
00:27:35.000 Or I say we.
00:27:36.000 I mean, Christians.
00:27:37.000 You know, Christian nation.
00:27:38.000 I guess we're a Christian nation.
00:27:40.000 I'm sure we've talked about this in the podcast, but it's something I marvel over all the time.
00:27:44.000 I think about it a lot, which is the Catholic Mass.
00:27:47.000 When you look at the Catholic Mass, And you look at the New Testament, the Last Supper, and you look at, you realize like in the fucking Synoptic Gospels, in any of the Gospels, There's nowhere that Jesus is saying, 0.64
00:28:03.000 what you do is take a piece of bread and utter these prayers over it to create my flesh that then you eat. 0.86
00:28:12.000 It's not there.
00:28:14.000 The ritual isn't there.
00:28:15.000 But the interpretation of that has turned into what is called high magic.
00:28:22.000 It's a ceremonial magic where you're transforming Bread into the flesh of a sacrificed God. 0.99
00:28:32.000 And people do that every fucking Sunday. 0.99
00:28:35.000 And they're like, this is totally normal. 1.00
00:28:37.000 Magic?
00:28:37.000 What are you talking about?
00:28:38.000 I'm not into fucking magic. 1.00
00:28:40.000 What I do is I eat the flesh of a God. 0.99
00:28:46.000 That was sacrificed by a Father God so that my sins could be purified.
00:28:53.000 That's not magic.
00:28:54.000 When did that originate?
00:28:55.000 The sacrament?
00:28:57.000 Well, I've read that it has something to do with, it goes back to Egypt, that it's some kind of high magic Egyptian ritual.
00:29:05.000 Or as a mushroom.
00:29:06.000 They probably had a big bag of mushrooms and everybody came up and they put it on your tongue and they said, good luck.
00:29:12.000 Yeah, I know.
00:29:13.000 Yeah, this is the flesh.
00:29:13.000 See you on the other side.
00:29:14.000 Well, I mean, they said, yeah, they said, you know, this is the flesh of God.
00:29:18.000 Eat this and you'll remember who you truly are.
00:29:21.000 And they gave you the psychedelic and you took it and you merged back into the divine and realized your true identity. 0.96
00:29:28.000 So that for the rest of the week you were able to hang out with people and not be a complete asshole because you know you share the same soul and that you're basically made of love as opposed to thinking that you and I are separate and that we're mostly sinful evil things whose flesh is impure. 0.99
00:29:47.000 I mean that's another fucking sweet gift that came from Fundamentalist Christianity is the concept that our bodies are evil. 0.99
00:29:56.000 We can't be naked around each other even now. 0.99
00:29:59.000 You can't take your clothes off around people without seeming completely insane.
00:30:06.000 If you go outside in your fundamental body that you were born into the universe with, you will get arrested.
00:30:16.000 Like, you can't walk around as you are. 0.99
00:30:19.000 You have to cover it in clothes, or you're considered to be a fucking pervert nudist. 1.00
00:30:25.000 You're a psycho. 1.00
00:30:25.000 So yeah, the fundamental vehicle that our soul rides around in is considered profane. 1.00
00:30:33.000 Dude, and like, you see a fucking dick when you're like walking down the street, some dude decided, you're like, oh! 1.00
00:30:40.000 Meanwhile, you can see a dick accidentally at the bathroom, and it doesn't bother you. 1.00
00:30:43.000 It doesn't bother you, because in the bathroom it's okay for a moment to profane the world with your fucking dick. 0.99
00:30:50.000 So it's like, that's the, when you start really looking at all the traces of not just pagan culture, but just insanity from a fundamentalist perspective of the universe that has its roots in what appears to be a misunderstanding of a really beautiful story, 1.00
00:31:07.000 then it's like, mind-boggling.
00:31:10.000 Yeah, not just a misunderstanding, but probably a conscious misrepresentation of the original story that's molded to suit whoever's needs is in charge at the moment.
00:31:19.000 That's right.
00:31:20.000 And people, dude, I'll tell you, man, Catholics, they feel guilty. 1.00
00:31:25.000 Dude, I'm Catholic.
00:31:26.000 You still probably feel a little bit of the...
00:31:28.000 Probably a little bit.
00:31:29.000 I mean, I'm not Catholic, really, but I was when I was in first grade.
00:31:32.000 I have this Alistair Crowley poster I was going to bring to you.
00:31:36.000 Secrets.
00:31:37.000 Oh, wow.
00:31:38.000 1,079.
00:31:40.000 That was the year.
00:31:43.000 It's a weird-sounding name.
00:31:45.000 Year, rather.
00:31:46.000 1,079.
00:31:47.000 It feels like I'm saying something wrong.
00:31:49.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:31:50.000 Wow, that's amazing, man.
00:31:51.000 Yeah, 1,079.
00:31:53.000 This is way after Jesus.
00:31:54.000 Yeah, almost 1,000 years.
00:31:56.000 Yeah.
00:31:56.000 They started doing the magical ritual.
00:31:58.000 And so it's like, to say that this is connected to Christianity is really, it's like, actually, no.
00:32:05.000 Christianity is a song, and this is a dance people decided to do to it. 0.95
00:32:09.000 But to say, you know what I mean?
00:32:10.000 To say that it has anything to do with Jesus.
00:32:16.000 Yeah.
00:32:16.000 Is not true.
00:32:17.000 Unless you're going to say that Jesus transmitted the data after his death into some kind of mystic or seer who had the vision of this. 0.99
00:32:24.000 Now, I'm not knocking the fucking Catholic Mass. 0.98
00:32:28.000 I think it's beautiful, but let's just admit what it is. 0.99
00:32:31.000 Magic.
00:32:32.000 It's ritual magic.
00:32:34.000 You're doing ritual magic and you're doing something that's been going on for a very long time, probably before 1079. That dude wasn't just like sitting around and like, hey, I got an idea.
00:32:44.000 Let's start saying prayer over the bread and the bread's going to turn into flesh.
00:32:48.000 It was more like, hey, you know, we've been meeting, doing these rituals secretly.
00:32:53.000 Why don't we just incorporate the story of Christianity into this ritual that we've been doing for a very long time to sort of Purify ourselves by connecting to the universe and acknowledging the fact that existence itself is predicated on devouring the flesh of some other being.
00:33:14.000 Not, you know, like we're always in the process of inhaling the universe, exhaling the universe, eating each other.
00:33:22.000 The universe is eating itself, and so the Mass is this ritualized version of like, behold, we're eating the flesh of God in everything we do, and there's something really beautiful about that.
00:33:32.000 I mean, there's no getting around Life Eats Life.
00:33:36.000 Even the various factions of people on the left and the right and people that are animal rights activists versus people that are butchers.
00:33:48.000 You're all eating something that's alive.
00:33:50.000 I mean, you can make the distinction that the plants aren't suffering like the animals do, and that's why it's okay.
00:33:56.000 I agree with you for the most part.
00:33:58.000 It's probably a less extreme form of suffering, but it also might just be a completely misunderstood life form.
00:34:04.000 They're finding out so much about plant communication, and I've read so many things about that I hesitate to talk about it because I really want to have all my T's sliced and, you know, I's dotted because it's such a complex issue, but it appears that they communicate.
00:34:19.000 It appears that there's almost like that they're using the soil and the fungus in the soil and the mycelium.
00:34:27.000 They all have this weird ecosystem.
00:34:29.000 It's not just like one plant by itself in the dirt.
00:34:33.000 No, there's a network that they're connected to.
00:34:37.000 Jamie, there's this thing.
00:34:38.000 This guy gave me this thing called a midi sprout, which is...
00:34:42.000 It picks up, I guess, the bioelectricity of plants, or anything for that matter, but plants, I've got it.
00:34:48.000 You stick it on your plant, and it goes into, like, whatever your music system is, and it translates it into MIDI, so you can turn the electricity of your plant into music.
00:34:59.000 What? 0.96
00:34:59.000 Yeah, it's fucking cool. 0.96
00:35:02.000 Yeah. 0.95
00:35:05.000 What?
00:35:06.000 Yeah.
00:35:07.000 That sound is the sound that's coming from a tree.
00:35:10.000 Well, it's the electricity of the tree being translated into MIDI, which is then being translated into sound.
00:35:16.000 So it's a way to convert the data into music.
00:35:19.000 It's like you're converting the bioelectricity into...
00:35:22.000 It's not like that's the sound of a plant.
00:35:23.000 It's not making celestial noises.
00:35:26.000 That's just sending energy and creating MIDI, which is then being translated into the sound.
00:35:30.000 So it's a way to observe the data.
00:35:32.000 Instead of looking at it, I guess, on an oscilloscope or whatever you would look at that with, It's turning into audio so you can hear the pulsating kind of like rhythmic flow.
00:35:43.000 So that that's measuring electrical currents in the plant?
00:35:46.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:35:46.000 So there's that much of a variation that it's like going up and down all the time like that?
00:35:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:35:52.000 I don't know the total math behind it, but I've got one on a plant in my studio.
00:35:59.000 Here's my take on it.
00:36:00.000 The most potent psychedelic experience is DMT. DMT exists in so many different plants.
00:36:05.000 It's in thousands of plants.
00:36:07.000 They have no idea why.
00:36:09.000 Yeah.
00:36:10.000 But it's in them and if it wasn't for monoamys oxidase.
00:36:15.000 Yeah.
00:36:15.000 Right?
00:36:16.000 Monoamine oxidase.
00:36:17.000 MAO, which is what MAO inhibitors are.
00:36:20.000 If it wasn't for that, that we have this in our body, we would be tripping on salad.
00:36:24.000 You'd be tripping on grass.
00:36:25.000 You'd eat certain grasses.
00:36:26.000 You'd be blasted off to the center of the universe.
00:36:29.000 You know, for some sheep... 0.98
00:36:31.000 DMT is poison.
00:36:32.000 They get a hold of plants that have DMT, and they fall over, stiff as the legs, and the legs start bucking up in the air.
00:36:38.000 That's like your canary in the coal mine.
00:36:40.000 You take sheep out into nature, and when they start dying, that's what you eat.
00:36:43.000 I think it's phalaris grass in particular.
00:36:47.000 I think there's a type of grass.
00:36:48.000 Jamie, see if you can find that.
00:36:50.000 Grass that kill sheep, but it's a pretty grass a particularly rich.
00:36:53.000 Yeah, phalaris. 0.98
00:36:54.000 Damn, how good is the memory on the kid even though he's high? 0.99
00:36:56.000 Look at that. 1.00
00:36:57.000 Phalaris staggers. 0.97
00:36:58.000 Yeah, that induced phalaris staggers in sheep portions of the lower brain as seen to be damaged and oddly enough tinted blue.
00:37:09.000 The responsible agents are the alkaloids contained in the various failing species. 0.99
00:37:14.000 There are whispered rumors that can you There are whispered fucking rumors? 0.90
00:37:19.000 Oh, that's a DMT website, too, there. 0.99
00:37:21.000 Whispered rumors. 1.00
00:37:21.000 He's goddamn hippie. 1.00
00:37:22.000 Whispered rumors. 1.00
00:37:23.000 Looking for science.
00:37:24.000 Not looking for wispy.
00:37:26.000 Whispered rumors. 1.00
00:37:27.000 You fucking hippies. 1.00
00:37:29.000 The Divine Moment of Truth. 1.00
00:37:31.000 Is that the one that I'm in?
00:37:32.000 There's one of those Spongle made one where they used a rant of me with Jim Brewer.
00:37:37.000 That's cool.
00:37:37.000 I was barbecued.
00:37:39.000 I barely remember what I said.
00:37:41.000 But it was me and Brewer were high on pot lollipops. 0.82
00:37:45.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:37:46.000 And they took that and took part of it and made it this really dope music and with a video to it.
00:37:53.000 I don't know if that's their video, if they made that video, but whoever does, it looks oddly similar.
00:37:59.000 Like a toned down, like a pencil drawing of what you see when you do DMT. Yeah, man.
00:38:06.000 Yeah, it's the sound.
00:38:07.000 That's beautiful.
00:38:09.000 Yeah.
00:38:09.000 Yeah.
00:38:10.000 Ah, the good old days, huh, Joe?
00:38:12.000 Weren't those the good old days?
00:38:13.000 Now we don't do it anymore, though, because it's illegal.
00:38:16.000 Yeah, why would we?
00:38:17.000 Well, it's illegal.
00:38:18.000 There's no need.
00:38:18.000 And also, once you've been there, it's not like you have to keep going back.
00:38:21.000 Yeah, enough's enough.
00:38:23.000 Enough's enough. 1.00
00:38:24.000 I don't need these fucking aliens. 1.00
00:38:25.000 You know what I need to do right now? 1.00
00:38:26.000 Get a better accountant.
00:38:27.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:38:28.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:38:29.000 These tax breaks are coming, and I'm not even seeing them. 0.95
00:38:31.000 There's some fucking great accountants in the DMT realm. 0.93
00:38:33.000 That's when I'll start doing it again. 0.98
00:38:35.000 They're accountants of your consciousness.
00:38:36.000 They look at you and go...
00:38:41.000 It's the best, yeah.
00:38:42.000 Did you get a finger waggle at you?
00:38:47.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:38:50.000 And it was like when I had a wacky thought, like I had a bad thought, a thought went array, and I was on the wrong page.
00:38:56.000 Oh, that's cool.
00:38:58.000 Yeah, I love that.
00:39:00.000 I love the, in different psychedelic states, I love how you witness how your consciousness is forming your reality in the most extreme way.
00:39:10.000 Not as though, like, you're producing matter with your thoughts or anything like that, but you can watch this undulation or this flow going from when you're getting negative and dark.
00:39:22.000 And it's interesting how different psychedelics portray this phenomena, but so like on acid, I might see, depending if I'm taking a high enough dose, you start seeing the faces and the stucco of your ceiling, you know?
00:39:36.000 And it's like, when you start getting really depressive or scared, then the faces start doing like, whoa!
00:39:44.000 Like hissing at you and they sink in and they, or even when you're looking at yourself in the mirror, similar things happens as you're just watching the way that your projection that's coming from the incessant flow of thoughts in your mind is reflecting on the reality itself.
00:40:01.000 And it's a constant like shifting of light that sometimes is like looking into the Deepest layers of hell, but then sometimes you see the most beautiful, sweet, incredible things because you're not being freaked out by the flow of thoughts in your mind.
00:40:18.000 That's the number one trick, you know?
00:40:20.000 This is why now in my old age, I really do understand why a good practice, meditation, chanting, whatever it may be, pairs so nicely with psychedelics.
00:40:33.000 Because if you have one without the other, well, you're missing out.
00:40:38.000 But also, you can really, like...
00:40:40.000 Go into some pretty terrifying places that don't resolve in the way that they could, potentially, if you are doing the work, putting in the time before you take the psychedelic, you know? 0.76
00:40:52.000 Not to sound like an old fucking guy, like, ah, you gotta get, you know, meditate and then take, but it does help a lot.
00:40:58.000 Well, there's a weird way that we want to dismiss it because it seems almost like a pompous thing to ever say you meditate or you encourage people to meditate. 0.99
00:41:08.000 It's the same as I always have a cringy thing when I tell people to do yoga.
00:41:12.000 Like, oh my God, am I going to say this again?
00:41:14.000 But I really mean it.
00:41:15.000 I feel like yoga is one of the very best things that will pair with cannabis use and with psychedelics.
00:41:21.000 Sure.
00:41:21.000 Because I think it alleviates a lot.
00:41:23.000 You know another thing that's really good is running.
00:41:25.000 And I think both those things, they alleviate a certain amount of anxiety.
00:41:30.000 And they create...
00:41:31.000 There's a blood flow through that.
00:41:34.000 Yes.
00:41:34.000 Like when you're pumping hard up a hill.
00:41:36.000 Yeah.
00:41:37.000 And you're running, huffing and puffing, and you make it, and you check your pulse, and you recover quick, and you go and do another hill run.
00:41:42.000 Yeah.
00:41:43.000 There's a stimulation of your body because it's being forced to work hard that's euphoric.
00:41:49.000 And after it's over, your brain's flooded with all these wonderful chemicals.
00:41:53.000 You feel good.
00:41:54.000 You feel friendly.
00:41:55.000 And I think that paired with psychedelic experiences, I think exercise is one of the most overlooked.
00:42:03.000 So important.
00:42:04.000 And it doesn't matter what style, like what you enjoy doing, but just got to get that blood going.
00:42:09.000 You got to do something.
00:42:10.000 That's it.
00:42:11.000 Whether it's take a spin class or a yoga class or go for a good hike. 0.99
00:42:16.000 Do something where you're fucking huffing and puffing and you're really getting in some work. 0.97
00:42:20.000 You're really sweating and your body will just feel better. 0.97
00:42:22.000 Well this is, what you just said, exactly applies to meditation. 0.96
00:42:26.000 And also, you're fucking right. 0.79
00:42:27.000 The problem with even talking about it is you sound virtue signally and pompous, but when you hear Ram Dass talk about meditation, he will say, meditate when you want to meditate. 0.98
00:42:41.000 If it seems like something that appeals to you, give it a shot.
00:42:48.000 The definition of it itself, what's funny is when you think about meditation, your mind will summon up something that you think meditation looks like.
00:42:57.000 So you think, ah, it means like sitting down on a cushion with some fucking candles, or it means like whatever it is that your mind summons up.
00:43:05.000 And usually it's pretty austere, and usually it's pretty, it requires like a temple or a space in your house, or it's insane. 0.97
00:43:12.000 An outfit.
00:43:13.000 You need a robe?
00:43:14.000 Exactly! 1.00
00:43:15.000 You need some kind of like shit that you're wearing. 1.00
00:43:17.000 So there's... 1.00
00:43:18.000 Right.
00:43:19.000 Because your mind is trying to push it off.
00:43:21.000 It's trying to like...
00:43:22.000 Your mind is one of its functions, it seems, to like not want you to sit still for a moment and watch.
00:43:30.000 But what you just said about exercising is true for meditation.
00:43:32.000 It's like there's so many different versions of it.
00:43:35.000 And I would argue running is a meditation.
00:43:38.000 Working out is a meditation.
00:43:40.000 And that to think that there's a separation, there really isn't.
00:43:44.000 No, I don't think there is either.
00:43:46.000 I always just said that about martial arts, that I believe that martial arts were a moving form of meditation.
00:43:51.000 But that doesn't mean, like, stationary meditation isn't different and give you another very valuable thing and a different valuable thing.
00:43:58.000 That's right.
00:43:59.000 Yeah, well, it gives you the ability to...
00:44:01.000 I was just reading...
00:44:02.000 There's a great book I'm reading by Pima Chodron called The Wisdom of No Escape.
00:44:06.000 And she talks about how...
00:44:09.000 When people start meditating, they think, I'm doing this because I want to be a better person.
00:44:14.000 And she said, that's actually an aggression against the self that you are right now.
00:44:21.000 To be like, yeah, that you're actually being aggressive to your own self.
00:44:27.000 She said, meditation is not so that we become a better person.
00:44:31.000 It's so that we're able to be who we are in the moment fully.
00:44:36.000 And to begin to experience fully what it is that's happening inside of us.
00:44:42.000 Because for a lot of people, what's going down is that there is a... 0.92
00:44:47.000 Dude, this reminds me, I just watched the Texas fucking Chainsaw Massacre. 0.96
00:44:51.000 It's probably like the 16th time I've seen it but like I watched it and like man I had a very strong mint tea and like I was watching it and was like oh my god this is fucking unbearable like I can't deal with it I'm gonna go crazy watching this fucking thing like the woman who by the end is all bug-eyed and covered in blood and like she's lost her mind because these Texas fucking cannibals have like driven her insane I'm feeling like that but then I realized like oh my god That 0.98
00:45:21.000 woman running from Leatherface and the whole family, freaking out and screaming, how many people are secretly that woman inside of themselves constantly running in terror from parts of themselves that they can't deal with or acknowledge or look at?
00:45:38.000 So meditation is kind of like going into yourself To that creepy ranch house in the middle of nowhere in your heart and then exploring the places that you don't want to go into.
00:45:52.000 You know what, man?
00:45:54.000 It's feeling them.
00:45:56.000 Instead of cleaning or fixing or repairing, it's going in there and feeling the whatever it is.
00:46:04.000 For a lot of people, it's just grief.
00:46:06.000 pain sorrow regret regret you know and it's going in there not being like i'm gonna fix what i fucked up seven years ago because this is not time travel but what i'm gonna do is for 10 minutes five minutes i'm gonna let myself feel this thing that i've been trying not to feel by distracting myself with an incessant flow of thoughts right and that that That is when you start lightening up a little bit because really all 0.73
00:46:36.000 you got to do is feel.
00:46:38.000 I think the MAPS people say, feeling is healing.
00:46:42.000 Have you ever heard that?
00:46:44.000 No, but I think I have, but it was like a kid's show.
00:46:47.000 That's a great kid's show. 0.99
00:46:50.000 Kids shows say some good shit sometimes. 1.00
00:46:52.000 Fuck yeah, they do, man! 1.00
00:46:53.000 Some of them are on the ball. 1.00
00:46:55.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:46:56.000 You know, there's some kids' movies that are oddly psychedelic.
00:47:00.000 Dude, kids are psychedelic. 0.99
00:47:03.000 To appeal to a child, it's like you do have to create some crazy shit. 1.00
00:47:11.000 What kids show isn't... 0.99
00:47:13.000 Find me a kids show that isn't The most psychedelic thing, including Mr. Rogers. 0.99
00:47:19.000 Like, Mr. Rogers is like, that's some trippy shit going down there, man. 0.99
00:47:23.000 Trippy. 0.99
00:47:24.000 It's funny that you bring up Mr. Rogers, because here's one of the things that I was going to say when we were talking about gun control and violence and all the different issues in this world.
00:47:33.000 One thing that we don't concentrate on Is promoting being nicer.
00:47:39.000 No government official does that.
00:47:43.000 Presidents don't do that.
00:47:44.000 They don't get on TV. They sort of say it.
00:47:48.000 We need to work together.
00:47:49.000 But they don't ever say, folks, we just got to figure out how to be nice to each other.
00:47:54.000 We're not in conflict anymore, but we're designed for conflict.
00:47:58.000 And here's how you get rid of that. 1.00
00:48:00.000 Get a fucking heavy bag, go run hills, go to yoga class, eat better, stop drinking so much coffee or alcohol or sugar, whatever your vice is that's fucking with your body. 0.99
00:48:13.000 Get your body in order and get your mind in order and just be nicer to each other. 1.00
00:48:18.000 That would fix...
00:48:20.000 Almost everything. 0.88
00:48:21.000 If people just overall decided, you know what, male, female, whatever the fuck, whoever you're talking to, let's just be nicer to each other. 0.90
00:48:30.000 Yeah. 0.62
00:48:30.000 Let's just everybody do this. 0.62
00:48:31.000 Can we all just work on this?
00:48:33.000 No one's saying work on this. 0.81
00:48:34.000 Like, there's no government officials, there's no big State of the Union address and go, ladies and gentlemen, our problems that we have with each other are ridiculous.
00:48:40.000 We're family here.
00:48:42.000 Yeah.
00:48:42.000 We're brothers and sisters.
00:48:43.000 Yes.
00:48:43.000 And we're all immigrants.
00:48:44.000 Every single one of us is an immigrant. 1.00
00:48:46.000 I'm not saying we should let everybody in, but whoever's here, you made it, bitch. 1.00
00:48:50.000 You made it. 1.00
00:48:51.000 As long as you're not a goddamn criminal, you made it. 1.00
00:48:53.000 Get taxes from them. 0.99
00:48:58.000 Also, don't forget we're all immigrants coming from infinity, too.
00:49:02.000 Exactly.
00:49:02.000 We're all immigrants who've come into this dimension and have complete amnesia as to what was going on for the last 13 points.
00:49:09.000 Pop out of a vagina. 1.00
00:49:10.000 Point. 1.00
00:49:10.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:49:11.000 All of a sudden you're American. 0.83
00:49:12.000 Yeah.
00:49:12.000 Yeah.
00:49:12.000 That's it.
00:49:13.000 So we're all immigrants.
00:49:14.000 And I I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I have to tell you this.
00:49:18.000 Did you hear about this Canadian couple? 0.98
00:49:19.000 There's a gay couple that had twins, and they did it through a surrogate, and they mixed up their jizz so that no one knew whose jizz was whose. 0.99
00:49:29.000 Well, one guy's an American citizen, and one guy's not. 0.98
00:49:33.000 So the kids were born, and they did a DNA test on the kids because they wanted to find out whether or not one of those kids was a dirty Canadian. 0.99
00:49:42.000 Turns out one of them is! 0.94
00:49:44.000 Trying to sneak over our borders at one day old. 1.00
00:49:47.000 Fuck off! 1.00
00:49:49.000 So they sent that little fucking terrorist back to Canada. 1.00
00:49:52.000 Gay couple married in Canada, sues U.S. government for denying citizen to the child. 1.00
00:49:57.000 Hey, assholes, let these fucking people come back. 1.00
00:50:01.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
00:50:02.000 But you gotta understand, man, like...
00:50:04.000 People like Jeff Sessions see a picture like that, and they feel like they're looking at somebody taking a dump on a crucifix. 0.96
00:50:11.000 Like, for a lot of these people, they can't handle the idea of gay people having kids. 0.91
00:50:15.000 It's not like they're worried about citizenship. 0.99
00:50:17.000 It's like a lot of these gnarled fucks who are running things, they're terrified of gay people. 0.99
00:50:23.000 You know, I'm sure that whoever made that decision, it wasn't anything to do with, like, oh, this is citizenship laws. 0.99
00:50:30.000 It was like, hey, man, we're not going to have this futuristic shit where we're doing some kind of jizz combos here. 0.97
00:50:38.000 We're not doing jizz combos in my country. 0.97
00:50:40.000 I think they just used, like, one of those little...
00:50:42.000 Paintbrush.
00:50:43.000 Those things you stir with, you know?
00:50:45.000 Like, if you want to make a butter coffee, hit a little blender...
00:50:50.000 You mean a whisk?
00:50:51.000 An electric whisk?
00:50:52.000 Like you use for batter?
00:50:54.000 That's what they do.
00:50:54.000 They jizz into like a mixing jug.
00:50:57.000 No, they use a fucking... 1.00
00:50:59.000 They use like smoothie machines, man. 1.00
00:51:01.000 Are you sure?
00:51:02.000 Positive.
00:51:03.000 A buddy of mine was telling me today about...
00:51:06.000 He was in Berlin, and when he went to this, there's this club, and they had three different floors of this club.
00:51:12.000 Like, one floor was like a hardcore, like, punk scene or, you know, electronic scene or something like that.
00:51:20.000 And then below it was a hardcore gay club. 0.98
00:51:24.000 In this hardcore gay club, they would have shit night where they would shit into tubware and seal it up and bring it in there. 1.00
00:51:31.000 They would jizz all over the stage and they would dive on the jizz like a slip and slide and slide around on each other's jizz. 1.00
00:51:37.000 They'd piss on each other. 0.99
00:51:39.000 And this is just... 1.00
00:51:40.000 Wait, I get the jizz and the piss, but help me understand the Tupperware shit thing. 1.00
00:51:47.000 The problem is I opened up with the Tupperware shit. 1.00
00:51:49.000 I went too hard off the gate. 0.99
00:51:51.000 I should have started with jizz on the deck.
00:51:56.000 And then they slip and slide. 0.98
00:51:58.000 Then work their way up to piss on each other. 1.00
00:51:59.000 And then these crazy motherfuckers started bringing in shit. 1.00
00:52:01.000 That's what I should have done. 1.00
00:52:03.000 But what I don't understand is like the slip and slide, it's like, yeah, you know, it's like a fucking fun night. 0.96
00:52:10.000 You're like enjoying some physical fun with your pals. 0.99
00:52:12.000 But why are you bringing in shit and Tupperware? 1.00
00:52:17.000 They like smelling shit. 1.00
00:52:18.000 They like smelling each other's shit. 1.00
00:52:20.000 So you're just like, hey, take a whiff of this great shit I had the other day. 1.00
00:52:23.000 Well, do you know how some guys like the smell of their woman's vagina? 1.00
00:52:27.000 They want to get in there and smell it. 1.00
00:52:28.000 Yeah.
00:52:29.000 You know? 1.00
00:52:29.000 I wonder how much that's connected because that's where you put your dick. 1.00
00:52:33.000 I wonder if you put your dick in butts all the time, you'd be like, I want to smell your shit. 1.00
00:52:38.000 Oh, like it's associated with like, it reminds you of fucking or something. 1.00
00:52:43.000 Mike, this is what I want you to do. 1.00
00:52:45.000 I want you to shit in that Tupperware and bring it over. 1.00
00:52:47.000 Are you serious? 1.00
00:52:48.000 I want you to shit in that thing and bring it over and don't wipe your ass. 1.00
00:52:52.000 Tupperware? 1.00
00:52:53.000 Like, why not foil?
00:52:56.000 Who knows, man? 1.00
00:52:57.000 I mean, you'd have to be really fucked up to want to smell someone's shit that bad. 1.00
00:53:02.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:53:02.000 Smell each other's shit. 1.00
00:53:05.000 Maybe it's just like a naughty thing. 1.00
00:53:06.000 Like, we're being naughty. 1.00
00:53:07.000 Smell my shit. 1.00
00:53:09.000 Yeah, or I'm transporting shit. 1.00
00:53:11.000 Like, you're like, I'm bringing shit somewhere. 0.99
00:53:14.000 Like, I'm bringing a lunch to this place. 0.99
00:53:16.000 By the way, I've heard of this club, man.
00:53:19.000 My friend was telling me about this club.
00:53:20.000 I don't know if it's the same club.
00:53:21.000 I think it is. 0.98
00:53:22.000 I've been hearing all this shit about how badass Berlin is, man. 0.99
00:53:25.000 That it's just, like, crazy over there. 0.99
00:53:27.000 And that this one club my friend was telling me she went to, everyone stands in line.
00:53:33.000 There's no VIPs.
00:53:35.000 Everyone stands in line.
00:53:36.000 Like part of the experience of the thing is you stand in line for like a long time and there's one bouncer.
00:53:42.000 He's giant.
00:53:43.000 He's like this giant scary German guy. 1.00
00:53:45.000 I think he's got like a glass eye or something.
00:53:48.000 And he scans you.
00:53:50.000 So you stand in front of him, and he looks at you and like does some kind of soul scan, and if he decides you're ready to experience the psychic effects of witnessing dudes sliding through cum, Because it's not as though he's trying to keep it cool in there, 0.82
00:54:10.000 but he's also trying to keep people from losing their minds. 0.99
00:54:13.000 Because the one wrong person goes into the sub-basement and sees a bunch of people huffing Tupperware shit and sliding through jizz. 0.99
00:54:24.000 That could push you over the line. 1.00
00:54:26.000 That could lead you straight to fucking mail bomb land. 0.99
00:54:29.000 You could just end up in a cabin Building devices of destruction. 0.99
00:54:34.000 That's probably what happened to Kaczynski. 0.99
00:54:35.000 If you took any of the people from the Trumpy Bear commercial and put them in that gay club while those guys are smelling each other's shit and Tupperwares and jizzing on the floor and pissing on each other, if they just wandered into there accidentally... 1.00
00:54:48.000 They'd all start fucking. 1.00
00:54:49.000 Probably. 1.00
00:54:50.000 Have you seen that video?
00:54:51.000 The Trumpy Bear video?
00:54:52.000 I put it on my Instagram last night. 0.99
00:54:54.000 I was watching TV and this fucking thing came on and it's like a Tim and Eric sketch. 0.98
00:54:58.000 What is it? 0.99
00:54:59.000 It's a real commercial for a real stuffed animal.
00:55:02.000 Look at this.
00:55:04.000 The Trumpy Bear.
00:55:05.000 No, no, you gotta see the video though.
00:55:06.000 Can you play the video?
00:55:07.000 Oh, just go to my Instagram.
00:55:09.000 Wow, that's cool.
00:55:09.000 I put the video up on my Instagram.
00:55:11.000 Oh, that's it in the upper corner.
00:55:12.000 Make that larger.
00:55:13.000 And give me some volume.
00:55:14.000 It's just two payments.
00:55:16.000 Listen to this.
00:55:16.000 The Great American Grizzly.
00:55:20.000 Introducing the original Trumpy Bear.
00:55:22.000 This is real.
00:55:23.000 The fearless, super plush American Grizzly.
00:55:26.000 Now tell me this doesn't seem like a Tim and Eric sketch.
00:55:28.000 Watch how this goes on.
00:55:29.000 Flag day.
00:55:30.000 Just find the secret zipper and pull out the American flying free blanket.
00:55:35.000 Then wrap yourself in the red lighted moon for comfort and warmth.
00:55:38.000 I'm getting one of these.
00:55:40.000 It gets crazier.
00:55:41.000 Watch.
00:55:44.000 God bless America and God bless Trumpy Bear.
00:55:48.000 Trumpy Bear sits proudly at the front of the motorcycle for all the world to see and loves to cruise with his brother.
00:55:54.000 I'm a former Marine, and I'm proud to have Trumpy Bear ride by my side. 0.99
00:55:58.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:55:59.000 Once a Marine, always a Marine. 1.00
00:56:01.000 This is a goddamn Tim and Eric sketch. 0.99
00:56:03.000 Look at this. 0.99
00:56:04.000 When I ride with Trumpy Bear, he makes my golf game great again.
00:56:08.000 Thank you, Trumpy Bear.
00:56:09.000 Trumpy Bear can pop up anywhere.
00:56:11.000 Simply style his trademark hair and place him in his favorite chair.
00:56:16.000 Even the toughest guys will love Trumpy Bear.
00:56:18.000 Even the toughest guys will love Trumpy Bear.
00:56:20.000 Business is great.
00:56:21.000 When business is great...
00:56:22.000 I am great.
00:56:23.000 I love you, Trumpy Bear.
00:56:25.000 I am an army veteran.
00:56:27.000 I am proud to own the Trumpy Bear, and I will always be proud to be an American.
00:56:32.000 Wait, hold on.
00:56:33.000 That guy, hold on, hold on.
00:56:34.000 This is fake.
00:56:35.000 Did you see that guy's name is Waraholic?
00:56:38.000 Back up.
00:56:39.000 That's Frank Waraholic, like an alcoholic for war?
00:56:43.000 Go back.
00:56:45.000 Corporal Frank Warholic?
00:56:46.000 That's a gag.
00:56:47.000 This thing's a gag, dude.
00:56:48.000 But it's on the radio.
00:56:49.000 Or it's on TV, rather.
00:56:50.000 It's kind of a gag.
00:56:51.000 I looked it up last night.
00:56:53.000 It is for sale.
00:56:53.000 It is a real product.
00:56:54.000 It's a real product.
00:56:55.000 So this is a gag.
00:56:57.000 It's a comedy sketch.
00:56:58.000 I kind of knew.
00:56:59.000 It had to be.
00:57:00.000 There's no way it could be that bad.
00:57:01.000 Oh my god, you know what it is?
00:57:03.000 They've made a comedy sketch that's comedy for people like... 0.97
00:57:08.000 Anybody who's paying attention, but for people so dumb that they don't realize it's a comedy sketch, and they think the way the people in the video think, it's like a honeypot for dum-dums. 0.98
00:57:20.000 Yeah, it's brilliant, because on one level it's like a really funny sketch, on the other level it's just like, people are like, God damn, I've always wanted a Trumpy bear. 0.99
00:57:28.000 So they make this bear, they sell this bear, they pretend that they're all patriotic, and they just made the dumb... 0.99
00:57:33.000 Of course it is. 0.99
00:57:34.000 What's wrong with me?
00:57:35.000 I am the storm.
00:57:36.000 Of course it's fake.
00:57:37.000 It's pretty subtle.
00:57:39.000 But this is the world we're living in right now.
00:57:41.000 I believed it was real.
00:57:42.000 Because it is a real product.
00:57:43.000 But when the lady pulled out her flag, I got a little suspicious.
00:57:46.000 And then the other guy says, once a Marine, always a Marine.
00:57:49.000 I'm like, this is a Tim and Eric sketch.
00:57:53.000 It's pretty subtle, man. 0.81
00:57:55.000 Like, it definitely, I've seen commercials that shitty for sure. 0.98
00:58:00.000 Trumpy bear official. 0.98
00:58:01.000 There he is.
00:58:02.000 Once a Marine, always a Marine.
00:58:04.000 Look at my boot.
00:58:05.000 It's dirty because I work.
00:58:07.000 Hey, what do you think?
00:58:08.000 We make really shitty predictions whenever I come on your show about what's going to happen usually, but what do you think is going to happen with Mueller and Trump?
00:58:17.000 I have zero idea.
00:58:19.000 I'm fascinated by the whole process.
00:58:22.000 I'm fascinated by his disdain for the intelligence community.
00:58:25.000 The intelligence community.
00:58:26.000 That, to me, seems to be one of the craziest things a president's ever done, is literally have beef with the FBI to the point where the FBI foils a terrorist attack in San Francisco, and the president doesn't even mention it on TV, doesn't praise them,
00:58:41.000 doesn't make a big deal about how good our government is, that we've been able to stop these terrorists, and this is one of the reasons why I wanted to build this wall in the first place and tighten up illegal immigration. 0.90
00:58:50.000 This is an opportunity to prove his point.
00:58:53.000 And he doesn't talk about it.
00:58:54.000 Because he's got a beef.
00:58:56.000 He's got beef with the FBI. Dude, do you remember when that FBI agent came to your show?
00:59:01.000 Do you remember that?
00:59:01.000 When that happened?
00:59:02.000 Yeah.
00:59:03.000 That was one of the weirdest...
00:59:04.000 That was, like, really weird for me, man.
00:59:07.000 Why was it weird?
00:59:08.000 Because the dude, like, the way he did it was perfect.
00:59:11.000 Because he got...
00:59:11.000 Like, it made my heart leap.
00:59:13.000 Because he's like...
00:59:13.000 He had his hand on my arm in, like, a cop style.
00:59:17.000 You know what I mean?
00:59:18.000 Right.
00:59:18.000 And then he, like, lifted his shirt up to show his FBI badge.
00:59:23.000 And I'm like, well, I don't know exactly what it was, but I mean, I could probably imagine a few things you might be arresting me for.
00:59:32.000 But then he was like, really cool!
00:59:35.000 And he's like, listens to your podcast, and he's like, you know, he was just being really awesome.
00:59:41.000 Listen, man, you need those people.
00:59:43.000 And everybody doesn't think they need those people.
00:59:44.000 You have an unrealistic view of the world.
00:59:46.000 You need Sheepdog.
00:59:48.000 You need them.
00:59:49.000 You need people to watch the criminals.
00:59:51.000 You need people to be able to solve crimes.
00:59:53.000 You need people to be able to stop terrorist attacks like they did in San Francisco.
00:59:58.000 You need them.
00:59:59.000 Right.
00:59:59.000 Everybody thinks that they don't need them.
01:00:01.000 Look, I wish we didn't need them.
01:00:02.000 I wish we had a perfect relationship with all the other nations and everybody just decided to work together for the survival of the species as a whole.
01:00:09.000 And we weren't so concentrating on owning resources, taking over governments, and controlling parts of the world that have, you know, things that we're trying to steal or get or buy.
01:00:19.000 But it is.
01:00:20.000 So as long as it is, you're going to need the FBI, you're going to need intelligence community, you're going to need the Army, you're going to need the Navy, you're going to need the Marines, you're going to need the Air Force.
01:00:28.000 But don't the FBI, they police the police.
01:00:31.000 Like the FBI or the police is police.
01:00:33.000 And there's a checks and balance system that's been proven to...
01:00:37.000 Now, I don't agree with this.
01:00:39.000 Because I think this is a crazy reason to fire a guy, especially a guy who's a war hero.
01:00:44.000 But General Petraeus, his whole thing, he got busted because the FBI was looking into something.
01:00:50.000 The FBI was looking into something and got the head of the CIA in trouble.
01:00:55.000 So they go after each other.
01:00:57.000 Wow.
01:00:58.000 So there's kind of a competitive thing, apparently. 0.99
01:01:01.000 Fucking weird. 0.98
01:01:01.000 Yeah, sometimes they don't get along. 0.98
01:01:02.000 Sometimes the CIA and the FBI, they don't see eye to eye on certain things.
01:01:06.000 But this one was a weird one because it was about an affair. 0.99
01:01:09.000 It's like, of all the shit that he did bad, like, he had an affair? 0.99
01:01:12.000 Like, this guy's out there smashing worlds. 0.99
01:01:17.000 What is the mother of all bombs? 1.00
01:01:19.000 What the fuck? 0.99
01:01:19.000 He didn't launch that one. 0.99
01:01:21.000 That was after his time.
01:01:22.000 But they launched all kinds of crazy bombs over there.
01:01:25.000 Right.
01:01:25.000 I mean, they're just shooting drones and missiles.
01:01:29.000 That's all good. 1.00
01:01:30.000 I heard you put your penis inside the wrong person. 1.00
01:01:33.000 Dude, did she let you? 1.00
01:01:34.000 It's crazy. 1.00
01:01:35.000 Oh, we're going to investigate where your penis has been, you dirty, dirty boy. 1.00
01:01:39.000 In between killing strangers, you're out there putting your penis in the wrong person. 1.00
01:01:43.000 We can take all the accidental drone deaths you got for us, but what we can't take is you shooting your dirty, dirty semen inside another woman. 1.00
01:01:53.000 You will only express love for one woman in this world. 1.00
01:01:57.000 That's it. 0.99
01:01:58.000 You can only feel love for one person at a time, and you're definitely not going to put that general cock in anyone else but Lydia Petraeus, your wife. 0.99
01:02:06.000 You swore an oath, sir! 1.00
01:02:09.000 So fucked up. 1.00
01:02:10.000 An earth of affection! 1.00
01:02:11.000 So fucked up. 1.00
01:02:13.000 It's so sad. 1.00
01:02:14.000 It's so stupid. 1.00
01:02:15.000 It's scary. 1.00
01:02:16.000 Like what? 1.00
01:02:17.000 The guy didn't want to fuck his wife anymore. 1.00
01:02:19.000 That's a problem between them. 1.00
01:02:20.000 Yeah.
01:02:21.000 This has nothing to do with us.
01:02:22.000 Nothing.
01:02:23.000 Is he still a good general?
01:02:24.000 Nothing.
01:02:25.000 Yeah, it's terrifying.
01:02:27.000 I mean, that's really where we enter into the land of absurdity.
01:02:30.000 Well, this is where it got really absurd.
01:02:31.000 Like, you know, people that think that there's some grand scheme to protect people and protect generals.
01:02:37.000 Dude, there's video of him when he was walking from City College in New York where he was teaching, and he'd have to walk down the street to where he was going, and the students were surrounding him, screaming at him, calling him a war criminal.
01:02:49.000 And they did it constantly.
01:02:50.000 He was teaching there.
01:02:51.000 Wow.
01:02:52.000 They would follow him, and they're filming him. 1.00
01:02:54.000 So the guys with the cameras are filming him, and then people around him are like, Fuck you! 1.00
01:02:58.000 Fuck you! 1.00
01:02:58.000 And he's on his own, dude. 1.00
01:03:00.000 He's helpless.
01:03:01.000 Wow.
01:03:01.000 If they just jump him, they just jump him, no one's stopping them.
01:03:04.000 I thought people like that had, like, eternal guards or something.
01:03:08.000 Nope.
01:03:09.000 Turns out, nope.
01:03:10.000 Turns out, nope. 0.99
01:03:11.000 No shit. 0.99
01:03:12.000 Dude, they cast that guy aside. 0.99
01:03:14.000 I mean, I don't know if they've rectified the situation after that day, but that day he's by himself.
01:03:19.000 Look at this.
01:03:19.000 Turn it up.
01:03:20.000 Give me some volume on this.
01:03:21.000 It's crazy. 1.00
01:03:27.000 Fuck. 1.00
01:03:28.000 This is crazy. 1.00
01:03:33.000 You have blood all over you! 0.89
01:03:37.000 I can smell you! 0.90
01:03:38.000 Hey, this hyperbole is not necessary. 1.00
01:03:41.000 Holy shit. 0.99
01:03:42.000 It's crazy to imagine that guy sexting. 1.00
01:03:45.000 Sex the fuck out of some lady. 1.00
01:03:47.000 Ooh, yeah, like a missile. 1.00
01:03:49.000 Send it at home!
01:03:50.000 Here's a bunker, buster!
01:03:53.000 I bet when he comes, he whispers in her ear, boom!
01:03:56.000 Boom! 0.99
01:03:58.000 Boom! 0.99
01:03:58.000 Boom! 0.99
01:03:59.000 Boom! 0.99
01:03:59.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:00.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:00.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:01.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:01.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:03.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:03.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:03.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:04.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:05.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:06.000 Boom! 0.99
01:04:09.000 Yeah.
01:04:09.000 So what do you think?
01:04:10.000 But they left that guy alone.
01:04:12.000 That's what's interesting, man.
01:04:13.000 You would think that the amount of influence that guy had, I mean, that guy was one of the top generals, if not the top general in the country, right?
01:04:21.000 Wasn't he?
01:04:21.000 Yeah.
01:04:22.000 I mean, he was a huge war hero. 0.96
01:04:25.000 There's been two instances of shit like that happening, where the other one was the Michael Hastings one. 0.81
01:04:30.000 Do you remember that one? 0.97
01:04:32.000 Vaguely.
01:04:32.000 This is a fascinating one if you really want to fire up your conspiracy theory hat.
01:04:37.000 Yeah, I do. 1.00
01:04:37.000 You really want to turn that bitch to nine. 1.00
01:04:39.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:04:39.000 Michael Hastings was a journalist who was embedded, I believe it was in Iraq, it might have been in Afghanistan, but he was embedded in the Middle East somewhere and something happened. 0.99
01:04:52.000 Oh, that volcano erupted.
01:04:54.000 Remember when that volcano erupted and they canceled all air flight?
01:04:57.000 For a long time.
01:04:59.000 He was trapped over there with that, and they got way too comfortable with him.
01:05:04.000 And so they started talking around this journalist the way they always talk.
01:05:07.000 And he was joking around about Obama and making fun of Obama. 0.99
01:05:11.000 And they said a bunch of shit they probably shouldn't have said. 1.00
01:05:13.000 But that's just what fucking soldiers say when they're over there risking their goddamn lives for something they probably don't even understand. 1.00
01:05:18.000 You would want them to believe this is all for a good cause. 1.00
01:05:21.000 You would want them to believe everything that their general tells them, and if they gotta fucking crack some jokes at the president's expense to alleviate a little stress while we're out there killing strangers, no. 0.99
01:05:33.000 Intolerable. 1.00
01:05:34.000 INTOLERABLE! You were mocking the leader of the free world while you're out there killing strangers? 0.99
01:05:39.000 You can't do that.
01:05:40.000 So they made this guy resign.
01:05:41.000 So here's where it gets crazy.
01:05:44.000 Michael Hastings starts telling everybody, look, my life is in danger.
01:05:47.000 He's like, people are threatening my life on a daily basis.
01:05:49.000 If anything happens to me, I did not commit suicide.
01:05:52.000 Cut to him driving down, I think it was sunset, car going uncontrollably fast, slamming into a tree, the car exploding, the engine flying from the car. 1.00
01:06:06.000 He's dead as fuck. 0.99
01:06:07.000 They find amphetamines in his system, but that's Adderall, because that's what all journalists are on. 1.00
01:06:11.000 They're all on Adderall.
01:06:12.000 Right.
01:06:13.000 So they try to say, oh, the guy was on methanphetamines when he drove into a tree!
01:06:17.000 Case solved!
01:06:18.000 Classic.
01:06:18.000 Good job, Dick Tracy!
01:06:20.000 Yeah.
01:06:20.000 Let's just forget about it.
01:06:21.000 We connected the dots.
01:06:22.000 It was quite easy.
01:06:24.000 Meanwhile, there's people that have said with absolute certainty that with today's cars, it is incredibly possible Absolutely, credibly possible to control the car from a remote place and make the car do what you want to.
01:06:41.000 Dude, definitely.
01:06:43.000 Definitely.
01:06:43.000 Definitely.
01:06:44.000 Definitely.
01:06:45.000 But we, I mean, this is, I love this line of this direction we're going in here, man.
01:06:50.000 Because you, it's great because it's like, this to me where it gets really, remember that thing that people would always say, the government is always, what is it, five years ahead, seven years ahead? 0.99
01:07:00.000 Remember it, I have a tattoo in my ass. 0.99
01:07:05.000 Did you get into that club in Berlin? 1.00
01:07:08.000 You gotta know, the government's ahead, bro.
01:07:10.000 But it's true.
01:07:11.000 It's true.
01:07:12.000 All that money that they have. 0.98
01:07:13.000 So, where it gets really interesting is when you start thinking about what that means in relation to computer intelligence and AI, and you start realizing, man, whatever the shit is that they have access to at this point, 0.94
01:07:31.000 Compared to what we think they have access to is so powerful, and so dangerous, that anybody who they want to take out, anybody they want to take out, they can take out. 0.94
01:07:45.000 That's a problem.
01:07:46.000 It's a problem.
01:07:47.000 That's a problem, having anybody to have that much power.
01:07:49.000 Especially over the rest of us.
01:07:51.000 It's bad for them.
01:07:52.000 You know, and Kennedy talked about this when he was in office.
01:07:54.000 He talked about secret societies.
01:07:56.000 And keeping secrets from people and that's just generally it's a bad idea across the board for humans It's just bad for our human nature and for groups to have ultimate power of surveillance who just look into your life It's I mean Edward Snowden proved it.
01:08:09.000 It's it's obviously it's too easy It's too easy for people that work there to check on their ex-girlfriends do you think there's secret societies out there that we're not really aware of? 0.98
01:08:21.000 Well, if they're secret societies that we're aware of, that's because someone along the line opened their fucking trap. 0.98
01:08:26.000 Sure. 0.98
01:08:27.000 And they let us know about a secret society.
01:08:29.000 That's how we found out about Skull and Bones.
01:08:31.000 Right. 1.00
01:08:31.000 One of those pussies told their mom. 1.00
01:08:33.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:08:33.000 You know? 1.00
01:08:33.000 Mom, they made me suck a dick and they filmed it and now I'm in the order. 1.00
01:08:38.000 Isn't it like a glass coffin? 1.00
01:08:39.000 It's glass dick. 1.00
01:08:40.000 You suck a glass dick? 1.00
01:08:42.000 You suck a glass dick. 1.00
01:08:43.000 I thought, no way. 1.00
01:08:43.000 I thought you lay in a glass coffin. 1.00
01:08:45.000 And they jizz on you?
01:08:46.000 And they jizz on the glass.
01:08:47.000 Like you're laying down and you're looking up through a glass coffin and it's raining jizz.
01:08:52.000 What if you did that to a guy and he becomes uncontrollably hard and just shoots in his pants? 0.98
01:08:58.000 Well, I think you're naked in the glass coffin. 0.97
01:09:00.000 Oh, okay.
01:09:01.000 I don't know if they, like, put you in a funeral garb or whatever, but my guess is, like, I mean, if it was me, I'd be like, you know, I prefer to be naked. 1.00
01:09:08.000 If you're gonna fucking splatter chisel over this fucking thing. 1.00
01:09:11.000 I want you to be weirded out looking at my dick. 1.00
01:09:14.000 Let's go for it, man. 1.00
01:09:16.000 Yeah, I'm gonna lay down face first. 1.00
01:09:18.000 You just stare at my hairy ass. 1.00
01:09:20.000 I'll try to come on the coffin from inside while you come on it from the outside. 1.00
01:09:24.000 While singing ABBA songs.
01:09:27.000 But do you ever like...
01:09:30.000 I love thinking about this stuff because I do think that there is probably...
01:09:36.000 And this is kind of what we were talking about a little bit before, where the maps don't work anymore.
01:09:41.000 Right.
01:09:42.000 I think a lot of people like to live in a place where there's maps and they imagine that's all there is.
01:09:47.000 But I'm pretty sure that there are sectors of society that you just never see.
01:09:55.000 And you never will see.
01:09:57.000 Because they have around them this impermeable wall of wealth.
01:10:01.000 Like, you're not going to get in there.
01:10:03.000 Like, places that have membership fees that are like $600,000 a year.
01:10:09.000 Like, Yeah, I know a guy who lives in one of those gated communities that has a golf course, and the golf course costs a quarter million dollars a year.
01:10:17.000 That.
01:10:18.000 Because that creates this wall where most people get into.
01:10:21.000 And then also...
01:10:22.000 That's crazy.
01:10:23.000 People are living in compounds.
01:10:25.000 People are living in massive compounds that have entire teams of servants.
01:10:30.000 Like, dude, there's people who have eight nannies for their baby.
01:10:35.000 Did you know that?
01:10:35.000 There's people who have...
01:10:36.000 That's because they're poor and they can't afford 15 like a normal family.
01:10:40.000 Fifteen nannies.
01:10:41.000 You got all the different languages covered, the different styles, you could have gay nannies, straight nannies, see what the kid likes.
01:10:47.000 But that's, when you think about that, that there are these enclaves of wealth that are compounds surrounded by not just like financial walls, but literal walls with armed guards standing around the walls.
01:11:01.000 And inside these compounds, Our communities as a servant class, there are communities of servants that are having to serve these hyper-wealthy people.
01:11:12.000 That's a king and a queen.
01:11:14.000 It's a feudal compound that's being separated from the rest of the world.
01:11:19.000 At the very least, a duke.
01:11:20.000 And a duchess.
01:11:21.000 It's a duke and a duchess.
01:11:22.000 I mean, it's basically no different. 0.99
01:11:25.000 It's the same fucking thing because a lot of the people working in there are illegals. 1.00
01:11:31.000 So they don't even have recourse to normal laws and stuff like that. 0.99
01:11:34.000 And so what ends up happening in these compounds is there's people who are untraceable who live in there. 0.99
01:11:40.000 And that is when you end up in a fucking spacesuit sitting in a goddamn Tesla going to fucking Mars. 1.00
01:11:47.000 Because you could easily just put one of your fucking... 1.00
01:11:50.000 You could put a disgrace nanny in that fucking thing. 1.00
01:11:53.000 You know when they're really gangster? 1.00
01:11:54.000 When they have white nannies. 0.96
01:11:57.000 Right.
01:11:57.000 Pretty white nannies.
01:11:58.000 Pretty white nannies. 0.99
01:11:59.000 The wife has to sit around like there's someone who's always at check. 1.00
01:12:04.000 Always at check.
01:12:05.000 Need a husband. 1.00
01:12:06.000 Not quite checkmate.
01:12:07.000 Always a check.
01:12:08.000 Yeah.
01:12:09.000 Keep moving it around.
01:12:09.000 Check.
01:12:10.000 Yeah.
01:12:10.000 Oh, she conveniently dropped her keys in front of Luther.
01:12:13.000 Yeah.
01:12:13.000 Look at her pick them up.
01:12:14.000 That dirty bitch. 1.00
01:12:15.000 God, fucking crazy. 1.00
01:12:16.000 She's stuck her ass up in the air while she picks up the keys. 1.00
01:12:18.000 Monogamy's so dumb. 1.00
01:12:19.000 I can't believe I left these keys here. 1.00
01:12:21.000 Let Luther fuck the nanny. 1.00
01:12:22.000 Just let the nanny like... 1.00
01:12:24.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:12:24.000 Because then...
01:12:27.000 Let the wife join in. 1.00
01:12:29.000 She knows about the offshore accounts we have to offer.
01:12:32.000 She knows about the taxes.
01:12:34.000 Dude, she knows more than that.
01:12:36.000 She knows more than that because what ends up happening in these compounds is you do start knowing things and you start knowing real things. 1.00
01:12:44.000 Real shit. 0.98
01:12:45.000 Yeah, you start getting the real downloads about what's actually happening, because these little fucking compounds, all those people are connected to each other. 1.00
01:12:53.000 They send each other Christmas cards, and they go to each other's parties and stuff, and they talk, and they know stuff, man. 0.96
01:13:01.000 You see the way Luther looked at the nanny?
01:13:03.000 Come on, bro.
01:13:04.000 Come on, bro.
01:13:05.000 She dropped her keys?
01:13:06.000 You really think she dropped her keys?
01:13:07.000 Did you see that?
01:13:08.000 I did see it.
01:13:08.000 I heard.
01:13:09.000 I heard.
01:13:10.000 Yeah, I was there. 0.99
01:13:12.000 She dropped the keys on purpose and stuck her ass right up in the air. 1.00
01:13:14.000 He's getting a divorce. 0.99
01:13:16.000 We've got to be careful here, folks.
01:13:17.000 We've got to keep this family together.
01:13:19.000 Well, these people sign, like, huge non-disclosure agreements.
01:13:24.000 So, like, they're wrapped up in a veil of secrecy anyway.
01:13:28.000 No, that's not what you have to worry about.
01:13:30.000 What you have to worry about is Harvey Keitel from Pulp Fiction.
01:13:32.000 That's what you have to worry about.
01:13:34.000 You gotta worry about someone making a phone call. 0.97
01:13:36.000 Some guy who works, some fucking Ray Donovan in real life guy who works for rich people. 0.98
01:13:42.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:13:42.000 Who can make a lot of money. 0.98
01:13:44.000 Imagine if you're friends with a billionaire.
01:13:46.000 And this billionaire is, uh, he's in a situation.
01:13:50.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:13:51.000 You know, this is fucking guy. 1.00
01:13:52.000 He's just, you know, he's got pictures of my wife and, you know, he's trying to get some money out of me, man. 1.00
01:13:59.000 I don't know what to do.
01:14:00.000 Well, sir, we can make this disappear for a tidy sum of $200,000.
01:14:05.000 Done!
01:14:06.000 Done!
01:14:07.000 Done!
01:14:08.000 And then all of a sudden that guy just isn't around anymore.
01:14:10.000 Yeah, the guy just gets picked off, and whoever would investigate it gets paid off, and then it's like nothing happens.
01:14:16.000 Or he just disappears.
01:14:18.000 They just take him into the middle of the ocean.
01:14:19.000 Well, wasn't there just this billionaire Canadian couple that got executed?
01:14:23.000 Yep, executed in their house. 1.00
01:14:24.000 Yeah, it's like shit like that. 1.00
01:14:26.000 And they were part of some sketchy deal. 1.00
01:14:28.000 What were they connected to?
01:14:30.000 Was it the Clinton Foundation?
01:14:31.000 Was it? 1.00
01:14:31.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00
01:14:33.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00
01:14:34.000 Oh, Joe, with you and your conspiracy theories about the Clans, it's all coincidence after coincidence after coincidence. 1.00
01:14:41.000 Oh, did you bring up Seth Rich again?
01:14:44.000 Let it go.
01:14:45.000 Let it go.
01:14:46.000 No suspects.
01:14:47.000 Shot in the back, in front of his house, four in the morning.
01:14:50.000 No robbery.
01:14:51.000 Wallet remains.
01:14:53.000 Phone remains.
01:14:54.000 Watch remains.
01:14:55.000 Private investigator.
01:14:56.000 And he's the guy who gave up All the DNC leaked emails, he gave them up to WikiLeaks.
01:15:02.000 Nope, just coincidence. 0.98
01:15:04.000 Yeah, just fucking coincidence. 0.99
01:15:06.000 He gave up the linked emails that show that the Clinton campaign absolutely worked their fucking black magic to get Bernie Sanders knocked on. 0.99
01:15:17.000 No, cut it out. 0.97
01:15:17.000 Stop, stop, stop. 0.97
01:15:19.000 Dude, how about hunting, man?
01:15:21.000 Put up that video again.
01:15:22.000 Put up that picture again.
01:15:23.000 What are you showing me?
01:15:24.000 Murdered Canadian billionaire couple Barry and Honey Sherman.
01:15:28.000 Several people murdered them, it says.
01:15:30.000 Several.
01:15:31.000 Wow.
01:15:31.000 Wow.
01:15:32.000 Crazy, man.
01:15:33.000 That's crazy. 0.99
01:15:33.000 They got whacked. 0.99
01:15:34.000 Hey, they fucked up. 1.00
01:15:36.000 They fucked up. 1.00
01:15:36.000 Did they? 1.00
01:15:37.000 What did they do?
01:15:37.000 Didn't have a big enough army around them.
01:15:39.000 They didn't have the army.
01:15:40.000 You're gonna act like a duke and a duchess and you're gonna hang out with assassins. 0.58
01:15:42.000 Tried to save money on security.
01:15:44.000 You know, if I was running a security team, I'd show them.
01:15:47.000 I'd be like, take a look at these guys.
01:15:49.000 They tried to save money on their security team.
01:15:52.000 Yeah, right.
01:15:53.000 Okay, it says, real to discover their bodies dangling from a railing near their basement swimming pool.
01:15:59.000 I like that it says suspicious.
01:16:00.000 Like, oh yeah, this seems a little suspicious.
01:16:02.000 These billionaires are just hanging here.
01:16:04.000 Looks like they were strangled.
01:16:06.000 They died from a form of strangulation called ligature neck compression.
01:16:10.000 That means somebody wrapped a rope around their neck and choked them.
01:16:13.000 A garrote. 1.00
01:16:14.000 That is a personal way to kill someone. 0.95
01:16:17.000 Yeah. 0.66
01:16:18.000 That's very personal.
01:16:18.000 Yeah.
01:16:19.000 That's intense shit, man. 1.00
01:16:20.000 And these are old people. 1.00
01:16:22.000 70, 75 years old.
01:16:24.000 If you Google that, it is not pretty pictures that you get back.
01:16:26.000 I don't want people's faces.
01:16:29.000 Not them, but just whatever comes up on Google.
01:16:31.000 Yeah, man.
01:16:31.000 You don't want that.
01:16:32.000 Don't want that to happen to you.
01:16:34.000 See, this is why I think it would be scary to be friends with a billionaire.
01:16:39.000 It would be scary to be friends with someone way up at the upper ups because you almost don't want that level of access. 0.97
01:16:48.000 It's almost like, Look, man, you guys fucking do whatever you're doing up in your compounds, drink from the Iron Skull, come on the fucking coffins, open the portals, pull out the squids. 1.00
01:17:00.000 I'm enjoying my life down here. 1.00
01:17:02.000 I really don't want to know.
01:17:03.000 I would prefer to just speculate.
01:17:08.000 Well, here's the thing, man.
01:17:09.000 I'm sorry to interrupt you.
01:17:10.000 No, please, go ahead.
01:17:11.000 There's levels to everything.
01:17:13.000 Right?
01:17:13.000 There's levels to the weirdness that's involved in immigrant communities that all keep the same language.
01:17:19.000 They all stay together.
01:17:20.000 They huddle up together.
01:17:21.000 They put their signs in their same language.
01:17:22.000 And then it becomes like a Koreatown or a Chinatown. 0.80
01:17:25.000 They all just huddle in that area and stay in that area.
01:17:26.000 There's weirdness to that.
01:17:27.000 There's weirdness to billionaires getting together. 1.00
01:17:29.000 We're all just going to do billionaire shit together. 1.00
01:17:31.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:17:32.000 We're all going to hang out together in these special clubs with those leather chairs with the buttons on them.
01:17:36.000 You know those leather chairs?
01:17:37.000 They're like smooshy.
01:17:38.000 They have like the puffy and then the buttons and there's little buttons all over them.
01:17:41.000 It's a high-backed leather chair.
01:17:43.000 You sit there and perhaps there's a little nightstand right next to you with a cigar ashtray.
01:17:47.000 Yeah.
01:17:48.000 And you tap that little cigar and they bring over a cognac and you sift cognac like a gentleman and you talk about where you're hiding your money.
01:17:56.000 You talk about how you got rid of the syphilis before the wife found out. 0.99
01:18:00.000 You talk about how you're helping Trump get into position to make sure that you could drill in Africa or wherever the fuck you're going to do it. 0.99
01:18:08.000 This is what they do. 0.98
01:18:10.000 They get together.
01:18:11.000 Who else is going to know what they're talking about?
01:18:14.000 Right.
01:18:15.000 You have to hang out with other billionaires. 0.99
01:18:16.000 And it's fucking generational. 1.00
01:18:17.000 And some of them start going crazy, like that cockboy. 1.00
01:18:22.000 Cockboy? 1.00
01:18:22.000 You know, the cockboy is making those dumb shirts. 1.00
01:18:24.000 Have you seen that fucking... 1.00
01:18:26.000 Have you seen this shit? 1.00
01:18:27.000 No. 1.00
01:18:27.000 Oh, dude. 1.00
01:18:28.000 Oh, dude.
01:18:29.000 You gotta see this.
01:18:30.000 This is like...
01:18:30.000 Cockboy?
01:18:30.000 This is K-O-C-H. This is the progeny.
01:18:34.000 This is like the demonic antichrist progeny of like...
01:18:37.000 Oh, the Koch brothers.
01:18:38.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99
01:18:39.000 It's Koch, not cock. 0.99
01:18:40.000 The cockboy. 0.99
01:18:41.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:18:44.000 The fucking cockboy. 1.00
01:18:45.000 Dude, this is what the Antichrist looks like. 1.00
01:18:50.000 Everybody thinks the Antichrist is going to be smart and nefarious and focused like Demian. 0.99
01:18:56.000 No, dude.
01:18:57.000 He's going to make fashion shirts. 1.00
01:18:59.000 Look at this shit. 1.00
01:19:02.000 Let me see what we got here. 1.00
01:19:04.000 Billionaire heir Wyatt Koch makes shirts about money.
01:19:07.000 I drank blood this morning!
01:19:10.000 Wait a minute.
01:19:10.000 The shirts are about money?
01:19:12.000 Can I see those pictures again?
01:19:13.000 That looks like pink handcuffs with keys.
01:19:16.000 How is that about money?
01:19:17.000 Because that's what I pay for.
01:19:18.000 I pay to be handcuffed. 1.00
01:19:20.000 Are you allowed to show these videos of him dancing around in his shirts and shit? 1.00
01:19:24.000 No. 0.98
01:19:24.000 It's actually been removed. 0.98
01:19:26.000 It's unavailable.
01:19:27.000 Somebody got it. 1.00
01:19:28.000 Dude, it's the weirdest fucking shit everywhere. 1.00
01:19:30.000 He brings his whimsical ideas to life with his retina-blasting shirt brand. 1.00
01:19:39.000 Wyatt Ingram.
01:19:40.000 So Wyatt Ingram is his shirt brand? 0.98
01:19:42.000 Yeah, but you gotta look up an interview with him because he says shit like, Daddy told me I could do whatever I want. 0.97
01:19:47.000 Look at him. 0.99
01:19:48.000 Look at his chick. 1.00
01:19:49.000 Woo! 0.99
01:19:49.000 Is that his girl? 0.99
01:19:50.000 Pick that bigger. 0.99
01:19:51.000 Goddamn, I approve! 0.99
01:19:54.000 I approve! 0.99
01:19:55.000 I'm on his side.
01:19:57.000 If a guy who looks like that can get a girl who looks like that, you go, boy! 0.99
01:20:02.000 What am I, a man-hater?
01:20:03.000 Huh? 1.00
01:20:04.000 Am I one of these asshole men that shoot other men down? 1.00
01:20:07.000 I'm not. 1.00
01:20:08.000 No, I'm not either!
01:20:09.000 I see that guy, he didn't even bother, he didn't think once about losing weight. 1.00
01:20:12.000 Fuck you! 1.00
01:20:13.000 I'm not either. 1.00
01:20:14.000 I'm just using...
01:20:14.000 Wait, look at my zeros!
01:20:16.000 I'm just using that as an example of the progeny of billionaires.
01:20:19.000 Like, these people are like...
01:20:20.000 This is like something... 1.00
01:20:22.000 This shit's spilling out of the mansions, man. 1.00
01:20:24.000 Look at what it says here. 1.00
01:20:25.000 Bless this oafish coke heir and his hideous shirts. 1.00
01:20:29.000 He's a flamboyant guy, and now we're talking about him. 0.92
01:20:32.000 Good for you, sir.
01:20:33.000 I'm sorry, Coke.
01:20:34.000 He's smart.
01:20:35.000 He looks like the guy who sold the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
01:20:40.000 Remember the dude?
01:20:41.000 What's his name?
01:20:42.000 Newman.
01:20:43.000 He looks like Newman, and he's banging a ten. 1.00
01:20:47.000 I mean, get the fuck out of here. 1.00
01:20:48.000 He also looks like he's been spending a lot of time in the skull and bones cum coffin. 1.00
01:21:00.000 Wyatt! 0.63
01:21:00.000 Wyatt, get out of the gum coffin! 0.63
01:21:02.000 No, father, I'm not satisfied.
01:21:05.000 I haven't absorbed all the energy of the gum into my being.
01:21:12.000 Who knows, man?
01:21:13.000 It's just weird over there.
01:21:15.000 Yeah, look at him. 1.00
01:21:16.000 I hope he has a giant dick. 1.00
01:21:17.000 I think that's the dick in the left pant. 1.00
01:21:19.000 See the left pant where the yellow is? 0.99
01:21:21.000 It kind of bulges out where the yellow... 0.99
01:21:23.000 Yeah, that's his cock. 0.99
01:21:24.000 It's giant. 1.00
01:21:24.000 It's fat like a Quaker Oats box. 1.00
01:21:26.000 Scary.
01:21:28.000 Scary.
01:21:29.000 That's him coming out.
01:21:30.000 You know what it's like?
01:21:30.000 It's like one of these water bottles.
01:21:32.000 That's what it's like.
01:21:33.000 It's fat like that.
01:21:35.000 Terrifying.
01:21:35.000 Yeah.
01:21:36.000 And the end of it, it quivers.
01:21:38.000 Terrifying.
01:21:39.000 Like the Demogorgon's mouth on Stranger Things.
01:21:42.000 The end of it, it doesn't have a slot.
01:21:44.000 It has like a little flower thing at the very end. 0.95
01:21:47.000 Every time we do an episode together, we end up describing some form of alien cock. 0.98
01:21:52.000 Every single time. 0.96
01:21:54.000 Like, I know the last one, we had a description of it.
01:21:57.000 Yeah, that's scary.
01:21:58.000 Well, we're very immature.
01:21:59.000 How dare you?
01:22:00.000 I think it's important to, like, speculate on the different types of potential alien cocks in the universe. 1.00
01:22:05.000 I think cocks go away. 1.00
01:22:06.000 I think cocks are... 1.00
01:22:07.000 This is a temporary situation.
01:22:09.000 100%.
01:22:10.000 Really?
01:22:10.000 Yep.
01:22:11.000 Yeah, I think that's what aliens are.
01:22:12.000 That's when you see the aliens, they have no cocks. 0.99
01:22:15.000 No cocks. 1.00
01:22:16.000 No mouths.
01:22:16.000 We're gonna get rid of this mouth communication.
01:22:18.000 That's terrible. 1.00
01:22:18.000 We're gonna get rid of this cock and pussy fucking. 1.00
01:22:21.000 Sounds horrible. 1.00
01:22:22.000 No, no, no.
01:22:22.000 We're gonna mind meld.
01:22:23.000 It's gonna be like DMT every time.
01:22:24.000 You're not even gonna want to have regular sex. 0.99
01:22:26.000 If you could, if I could give you the gift of being able to travel through space, wherever you wanted to go, but you had a nub down there, your cock's gone. 0.99
01:22:34.000 No, I'd be like Dr. Manhattan, just sitting on Mars by myself, all bored. 1.00
01:22:38.000 Fuck that. 1.00
01:22:38.000 Fuck that. 1.00
01:22:38.000 Fuck that. 1.00
01:22:39.000 I like it here. 1.00
01:22:40.000 You'd rather hump. 0.97
01:22:41.000 I like America!
01:22:42.000 I like being right here!
01:22:43.000 Los Angeles! 1.00
01:22:44.000 God damn it! 1.00
01:22:45.000 I like it! 1.00
01:22:46.000 But you wouldn't want to see, like, float at the edge of- With my tiny little dick crying as I fly through the universe. 1.00
01:22:52.000 No! 0.99
01:22:53.000 Through infinity, like this.
01:22:55.000 I'm so bored!
01:22:57.000 No! 0.99
01:22:57.000 Looking down, and I have, like, a dick, like, remember when they shrank Dr. Ken's dick in The Hangover? 0.99
01:23:03.000 They made it, like, so small you couldn't even see it. 0.99
01:23:05.000 Remember?
01:23:05.000 That would be what it was like.
01:23:07.000 Just, no!
01:23:08.000 I know, man.
01:23:09.000 It'd be so sad. 1.00
01:23:11.000 Yeah, and you'd live forever with no dick. 1.00
01:23:13.000 No dick. 1.00
01:23:14.000 Flying through space. 1.00
01:23:14.000 Just a nub. 1.00
01:23:15.000 Fuck. 1.00
01:23:16.000 Bored. 1.00
01:23:17.000 Listen, man, I'm not into deals.
01:23:19.000 I like what's going on right now.
01:23:20.000 I don't want to hear your heaven deal.
01:23:22.000 I don't want to hear your space deal.
01:23:24.000 I'm good.
01:23:25.000 I'm good right here.
01:23:26.000 Well, I mean, don't you ever...
01:23:27.000 I mean, this is another thing.
01:23:29.000 We've done these so many times.
01:23:30.000 We're gonna repeat, of course, but like, dude, I do worry about you sometimes, man, because it's like, I think you're gonna get...
01:23:36.000 I think it's finally gonna happen. 0.97
01:23:38.000 I think one of your fucking guests is gonna come in here with a briefcase, and he's gonna show you something. 0.98
01:23:44.000 And I don't know what it is. 0.99
01:23:45.000 Like an alien piece of a spacecraft?
01:23:47.000 I don't know what it is.
01:23:48.000 I was hoping it was gonna be Tom DeLonge.
01:23:49.000 I was hoping he had something.
01:23:50.000 No, I think you're going to, you're accidentally going to get access for some reason.
01:23:55.000 I think somebody's going to give you something or show you something and you're in like, I worry about you, man. 0.95
01:24:01.000 Because it's like, yeah, because you've got like, you now have A platform that is unlike any platform that's happened, you know, because you're doing like a comedy podcast, radio show style thing, but you're also interviewing people about really heavy-duty shit. 0.88
01:24:19.000 And sure, you like pepper it up with freaks like me from time to time. 0.91
01:24:23.000 Pepper it up?
01:24:23.000 Yeah, but like you have...
01:24:25.000 You make it sound like the other people are on the main agenda.
01:24:29.000 I'm just peppering up a little Duncan Trussell. 0.99
01:24:31.000 Well, no, I'm just saying, like, what the fuck do I know? 0.98
01:24:33.000 Like, you're having people on you. 0.98
01:24:34.000 What are you talking about?
01:24:35.000 You and I have had my all-time favorite podcast.
01:24:38.000 Thanks.
01:24:38.000 If I have my all-time favorite group of people, if I had, like, a handful of 10 people to pick forever, just do podcasts with them forever, you are 100% on that list.
01:24:46.000 Thanks, man.
01:24:46.000 I appreciate that.
01:24:47.000 It's you and Diaz and Ari.
01:24:49.000 There's a few other people, Callan, but there's just a list of people that are just forever...
01:24:54.000 I love doing podcasts with you. 1.00
01:24:55.000 Don't you ever say that, you son of a bitch. 1.00
01:24:57.000 If it's between you and some fucking scientist who want to prove to me that telekinesis is real, I'm going with you. 1.00
01:25:04.000 Please take the scientist. 0.99
01:25:05.000 Then we'll do a podcast after. 0.99
01:25:07.000 But dude, I'm telling you, knowing all this shit... 0.99
01:25:10.000 And there's so many times when we've done this podcast where you and I have started talking, and the hair stands up on my arm, and I'm like, dude, we shouldn't be talking about some of this shit. 0.99
01:25:22.000 It gives me the real heebie-jeebies.
01:25:25.000 And then sometimes, I'll admit this to you, sometimes when I'm super stunned, I'm thinking about all the podcasts we've done, sometimes I think to myself, fuck Maybe Joe does know something like maybe you did End up getting some kind of little like shoulder rub with them where they're like not literally your shoulder up you just brush shoulders and they were like Hey,
01:25:49.000 we love your show.
01:25:50.000 We love your show man. 1.00
01:25:51.000 They didn't even say anything They just showed themselves to you a little bit to be like hey look don't fuck around man. 1.00
01:25:57.000 Don't fuck around like you could talk and You're funny. 1.00
01:26:01.000 We like the way you talk. 1.00
01:26:02.000 But don't fuck around, man. 1.00
01:26:04.000 Don't you ever think that? 1.00
01:26:05.000 Hmm. 0.97
01:26:06.000 No, because I'm not like you, goddammit. 0.65
01:26:08.000 Plus, I don't keep those commie ideas floating around inside my head. 0.99
01:26:11.000 I got a goddamn American flag behind me, Duncan Trussell. 1.00
01:26:14.000 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 1.00
01:26:15.000 I'm friends with a ton of cops. 1.00
01:26:17.000 You got an American flag with a fucking... 1.00
01:26:20.000 Cow's skull above it, Joe. 1.00
01:26:22.000 It's actually an Asian buffalo from Australia that was arrowed by my great friend Adam Greentree.
01:26:27.000 Wow.
01:26:28.000 One of the best bow hunters on the face of the planet Earth.
01:26:30.000 Wow.
01:26:31.000 He shot that thing.
01:26:32.000 Yeah, but I mean it's like...
01:26:33.000 He brought it to me because he's my friend.
01:26:35.000 Remember when we did that show?
01:26:37.000 Remember when we did that show, the sci-fi show?
01:26:39.000 But it was kind of, as the show progressed, we became increasingly sort of despondent upon realizing, because we're both so retarded that we thought maybe we were going to find an alien. 0.77
01:26:52.000 Like both of us secretly thought.
01:26:54.000 Well, it became very frustrating because you saw the same thing in everybody.
01:26:58.000 You saw this delusional belief in illogical things that they would argue illogically.
01:27:05.000 They weren't objective about the actual evidence versus what they wanted to perceive the evidence to point to.
01:27:11.000 They were all biased, which I've been biased before.
01:27:14.000 Everybody's been biased.
01:27:15.000 But it was just delusional.
01:27:16.000 Everyone was delusional.
01:27:18.000 Everyone.
01:27:18.000 From the first UFO guy to the first chemtrail guy.
01:27:22.000 To the first Bigfoot guy, they were all either liars or delusional or they had errors in their thinking.
01:27:28.000 And then occasionally we would talk to a guy like that one dude that we met that was in the trailer that told us about the balls that would fly through the air. 0.92
01:27:34.000 Yes.
01:27:35.000 Well, after that, I heard a podcast with a physicist, a guy who was a lightning expert, who was talking about ball lightning.
01:27:44.000 They don't know what causes it.
01:27:46.000 They don't know why it exists even.
01:27:49.000 It was on Radiolab, and it was fairly recently, and this guy was actually saying that lightning itself doesn't make any sense.
01:27:57.000 It's not supposed to exist if you're measuring all of the energy in the sky.
01:28:01.000 There's something that we don't know about what the formation of lightning is, that it shouldn't even exist, shouldn't be possible.
01:28:06.000 Right.
01:28:07.000 But this ball lightning is not only possible, it's been observed many, many times, and it's even happened inside of an airplane, where it floated down the aisle inside of an airplane, and multiple people witnessed it.
01:28:19.000 Right.
01:28:19.000 People have seen ball lightning, they've gotten video of ball lightning, and what it looks like is exactly what that guy was describing to us, that this thing came through his house and then just disappeared.
01:28:29.000 Yeah.
01:28:29.000 Remember?
01:28:30.000 Totally remember.
01:28:31.000 And he did not seem like a liar to me.
01:28:33.000 No.
01:28:34.000 I think he saw a ball of lightning.
01:28:35.000 And I think that area, near that Skinwalker Ranch place in particular, is, for whatever causes that phenomenon, it happens more frequently in that area.
01:28:45.000 It's very possible. 0.99
01:28:46.000 Because there were a lot of people over there that saw some shit. 1.00
01:28:48.000 Sure, man. 1.00
01:28:49.000 I mean, but this, that was disappointing.
01:28:53.000 But that was the most revealing.
01:28:55.000 That was revealing, and that was a weird area.
01:28:57.000 Yeah, it was weird. 0.98
01:28:58.000 That was a fucking weird area. 0.97
01:28:59.000 But don't you, like, imagine that... 0.96
01:29:04.000 Do you ever do this game, this is a fun game, where you start thinking about who the smartest person on the planet must be, like the Continuum of Intelligence game, where you start thinking like, okay, I know I land somewhere on the Continuum of Intelligence, I know there's people that are probably not quite as smart as I am.
01:29:18.000 And I know there's people who are way fucking smarter than I am.
01:29:21.000 And then you start thinking to yourself, who are those people? 0.94
01:29:25.000 And what are they up to?
01:29:27.000 And then you start thinking, see this is what I'd think about if I were you. 0.98
01:29:30.000 Then you start thinking like, fuck man, I've got this podcast that lots of people listen to. 0.92
01:29:37.000 Has it ever happened where maybe some really intelligent person has manipulated me in an attempt to get me to disseminate some kind of information out into the world? 0.99
01:29:46.000 Good luck manipulating me, Duncan Trussell.
01:29:48.000 I'm an American.
01:29:49.000 Okay?
01:29:50.000 These flags don't run or something.
01:29:51.000 What happens?
01:29:52.000 These colors...
01:29:54.000 These colors don't run! 1.00
01:29:55.000 I'm fucking... 1.00
01:29:55.000 I know what's up, bro! 1.00
01:29:56.000 But you wouldn't even know.
01:29:58.000 That's the thing.
01:29:58.000 You wouldn't even...
01:29:59.000 Oh, I wouldn't know?
01:29:59.000 How would I not know?
01:30:00.000 These people are people.
01:30:01.000 What?
01:30:02.000 If someone is so good at manipulating people that they can manipulate me and change the way I think about things.
01:30:09.000 Well then, good luck.
01:30:11.000 Right, I mean, but that's like, the thing is, like, this is, again, I'm not trying to make you paranoid or anything.
01:30:15.000 Too late.
01:30:16.000 It's just... 0.94
01:30:16.000 But it's fun to think, because it's like this, like, okay, like, let's imagine, for the sake of just fun, we've established they're these fucking billionaires, and they live in these compounds, and they, and we've also established that certainly people like Michael Hastings and other people, 0.94
01:30:33.000 they get killed all the time. 0.99
01:30:34.000 They might have, but I think he got killed because he got a fucking major general fired. 1.00
01:30:40.000 Major League General. 0.99
01:30:41.000 There's super powerful people who will use technology to kill people to have their own way.
01:30:46.000 So that means that there is some group or series of groups of people that are doing highly nefarious actions from places of power.
01:30:54.000 Or I'm just paranoid and I'm connecting the dots here.
01:30:58.000 Maybe he was on speed and drove into a tree.
01:31:00.000 Honestly, I do not know.
01:31:01.000 It's very fun to think that it's a conspiracy and they killed him.
01:31:06.000 Very fun.
01:31:08.000 If you look at Occam's razor, you know, if you applied Occam's razor, the most likely scenario is that he just drove into the tree.
01:31:14.000 That's not very sexy.
01:31:15.000 Here's a way to kind of help out...
01:31:19.000 With Occam's Razor, with these kinds of things, is just think, okay, I have $100,000, and I'm going to put bets in this awesome casino where the truth is revealed.
01:31:30.000 So, are you going to put the money down on him being assassinated?
01:31:34.000 Are you going to put the money down on him being on speed and driving into a tree after he said, if I commit suicide, it's not a suicide?
01:31:42.000 I've got to meet the guy.
01:31:43.000 That might have been throwing people Don't get to meet him. 1.00
01:31:45.000 Maybe he wanted to leave a fucking story. 0.99
01:31:47.000 Maybe this guy's like, you know what? 0.99
01:31:49.000 I'm just going to have these people think that I got suicided by the feds, man!
01:31:53.000 Sure. 1.00
01:31:54.000 Fuck them all! 1.00
01:31:57.000 Fuck them all, man! 1.00
01:31:58.000 No, dude. 1.00
01:31:59.000 I know where you'd put your money.
01:32:01.000 I know where I'd put my money.
01:32:02.000 Listen, if it was like 50 bucks, yeah, I'm gonna bet on conspiracy because it's exciting.
01:32:07.000 Right.
01:32:07.000 If I lose 50 bucks, I won't feel that.
01:32:09.000 I'll feel like, well, fuck. 1.00
01:32:11.000 I was hoping to win. 1.00
01:32:12.000 But you're like, I'm just saying, man, how do you deal with being on the fucking radar, man? 0.98
01:32:16.000 Because the thing is, if there is an interest in controlling the reality tunnel, we know that I agree with you, 0.97
01:32:34.000 but I don't think it's a united front.
01:32:35.000 This war to control the paradigm is most tightly fought between left and right.
01:32:40.000 It's most tightly fought in government, in the real things.
01:32:44.000 What we're doing is commentating on the sidelines.
01:32:46.000 If I'm influencing anybody, I'm influencing people by pointing them to information that I see that's already out there.
01:32:53.000 There's a big difference between these people are in power against each other. 0.86
01:32:59.000 There's got to be some people that are influencers that get access or get shit upon, especially in the age of Trump. 0.93
01:33:05.000 If he finds out you're against him, he's very vindictive. 0.92
01:33:10.000 He calls Don Lemon a mortal.
01:33:11.000 We're good to go.
01:33:34.000 I like what he's saying.
01:33:35.000 I like his ideas.
01:33:37.000 He was a guy that, when he was running for president, I was like, okay, well, this guy's clearly a very honorable person.
01:33:43.000 He's clearly a very honest person.
01:33:45.000 I mean, by all accounts.
01:33:47.000 Let's see what he does.
01:33:49.000 Let's see what he does.
01:33:49.000 Let's see what happens.
01:33:51.000 It's got to be better than just knowing you're being bullshitted. 1.00
01:33:54.000 So many of them are just so obviously bullshitting you that you're listening to these canned fucking speeches and you're like, goddammit, I don't resonate with you at all. 0.99
01:34:02.000 This is not... 0.99
01:34:04.000 Presidential type of address?
01:34:05.000 Yes.
01:34:06.000 Where I talk in a way that you've never heard a normal person talk in your presence before.
01:34:11.000 And you might say to yourself, well that's weird man!
01:34:15.000 But I gotta talk like that when there's a lot of people.
01:34:17.000 No, you don't.
01:34:18.000 You don't.
01:34:19.000 That's not real.
01:34:20.000 And I don't understand.
01:34:21.000 You put a shield up, and the shield is an act.
01:34:25.000 You have a presidential act.
01:34:26.000 Sure.
01:34:27.000 Or you have a strip club DJ act.
01:34:30.000 Right.
01:34:30.000 Or you have a morning DJ act.
01:34:31.000 All right.
01:34:32.000 Five o'clock past the hour.
01:34:33.000 Here we go.
01:34:35.000 Led Zeppelin.
01:34:36.000 Houses of the holy.
01:34:37.000 The ocean.
01:34:38.000 Da-da-da-da-da. 0.90
01:34:40.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:34:41.000 I mean, that's the fucking voice. 1.00
01:34:43.000 I've heard that voice a thousand times. 1.00
01:34:44.000 It's a goddamn costume that people wear. 1.00
01:34:46.000 You also have a fuck voice. 1.00
01:34:47.000 Don't forget that. 1.00
01:34:48.000 I don't have a fuck voice. 1.00
01:34:49.000 You don't. 1.00
01:34:50.000 Oh, come on! 0.99
01:34:50.000 Let me put it in! 0.99
01:34:51.000 I talk like you when I'm fucking. 0.99
01:34:52.000 I don't talk like that! 0.99
01:34:53.000 Hey, come on, guys!
01:34:54.000 I don't talk like that!
01:34:55.000 Let's get crazy! 1.00
01:34:57.000 Put me in the cum coffin! 1.00
01:34:58.000 Oh my god! 1.00
01:35:01.000 Do you, you, um, you don't have a fuck voice? 1.00
01:35:04.000 Come on. 1.00
01:35:04.000 So you want to hear my fuck voice? 1.00
01:35:06.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:35:06.000 Hey. 1.00
01:35:16.000 It's time to fuck. 1.00
01:35:19.000 There's so much shame in wanting to fuck. 1.00
01:35:21.000 Ooh, she wants to fuck. 1.00
01:35:23.000 It's so sad. 1.00
01:35:24.000 Terrible person! 1.00
01:35:25.000 Would you have an itchy vagina? 1.00
01:35:27.000 Your vagina needs to get scratched. 1.00
01:35:30.000 Yeah, man. 1.00
01:35:31.000 It's definitely one of the tragic parts of society is that people feel shame about that.
01:35:37.000 I love the scene in Game of Thrones when Cece- what's her name?
01:35:42.000 The beautiful woman- Cersei.
01:35:43.000 Cersei, thank you.
01:35:44.000 When Cersei's walking naked down the street, they're going, SHAME! The shame bell.
01:35:49.000 SHAME! I have the shame bell app on my phone.
01:35:51.000 I used to.
01:35:52.000 You can get the shame bell app.
01:35:53.000 Ooh.
01:35:54.000 Yeah.
01:35:55.000 I don't have any more.
01:35:56.000 Why?
01:35:57.000 Was it too much?
01:35:57.000 It was too much power.
01:35:58.000 You were addicted to the shame bell.
01:35:59.000 It was too much power.
01:36:00.000 It's like when people delete their Facebook off their phone.
01:36:03.000 I know people that like regularly delete their Facebook. 1.00
01:36:06.000 Fuck this. 1.00
01:36:06.000 They just take it off their phone. 1.00
01:36:07.000 I can't do this anymore, man.
01:36:09.000 Too much power with the shame bell, man. 0.99
01:36:11.000 But people, there's a lot of dudes who ring that fucking shame bell at girls all the fucking time, man. 1.00
01:36:16.000 That's the worst. 1.00
01:36:17.000 You're ruining the whole vibe.
01:36:19.000 Yeah.
01:36:19.000 But you know what it is?
01:36:20.000 Because guys feel terrible when a girl leaves them and fucks somebody else. 0.96
01:36:23.000 They want to make it very difficult to have a new man. 1.00
01:36:26.000 You're having sex with more than one man, you dirty little bitch! 1.00
01:36:30.000 You hussy! 1.00
01:36:31.000 Yeah, or if you're polyamorous, then they call you a cuck because you don't care that other people are fucking your girlfriend. 1.00
01:36:39.000 Save that hippie talk for when you move to Cuba or wherever the fuck you're going. 1.00
01:36:43.000 I don't think they... 1.00
01:36:43.000 Just listen! 1.00
01:36:45.000 In America, you get a fucking wife, and that's it, you greedy bitch. 1.00
01:36:49.000 That's it, you bitch. 1.00
01:36:49.000 There's an even number of people over here. 1.00
01:36:51.000 This ain't China, son. 0.94
01:36:53.000 You want to go live in China? 0.98
01:36:54.000 Yes! 1.00
01:36:55.000 There's like fucking ten guys every one chick! 1.00
01:36:57.000 I'm going! 1.00
01:36:58.000 I'm going!
01:36:59.000 Ten guys every one chick. 0.99
01:37:00.000 You're going to wind up butt-fucking other dudes. 1.00
01:37:01.000 Well, fuck it. 1.00
01:37:03.000 Yeah, you say fuck it. 1.00
01:37:04.000 Come coffins all day, baby. 1.00
01:37:06.000 That's what happens in prison.
01:37:07.000 People get crazy. 0.99
01:37:08.000 They start having sex with men. 0.98
01:37:09.000 You've got to figure out a way out. 0.99
01:37:12.000 Of prison or having sex with men? 0.98
01:37:13.000 No. 0.95
01:37:14.000 Figure out a way. 0.99
01:37:15.000 Gotta get rid of your cum. 0.99
01:37:16.000 Cum's gotta figure out a way out. 1.00
01:37:17.000 What's the best way?
01:37:18.000 Your hand. 1.00
01:37:19.000 Gonna have to fuck guys or something. 1.00
01:37:20.000 Shit. 1.00
01:37:21.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:37:21.000 This is bullshit. 1.00
01:37:22.000 That's what happens if you live in China. 1.00
01:37:24.000 That's what happens if...
01:37:25.000 I don't know how real...
01:37:27.000 A real lesson here to learn.
01:37:28.000 But if there's more than 10 to 1 men to women... 0.93
01:37:31.000 That's what happens if you live in China. 0.83
01:37:33.000 Jesus Christ.
01:37:34.000 Don't they have some crazy problem over there?
01:37:36.000 I'm not making this up. 0.99
01:37:37.000 They have a prick.
01:37:38.000 Joking, folks.
01:37:39.000 Obviously, I'm joking.
01:37:39.000 But there's a crazy problem over there with the ratio of men to women.
01:37:44.000 What is the ratio?
01:37:44.000 Let's take a guess.
01:37:45.000 What is the ratio of men to women in China?
01:37:47.000 I think it's something like 60-40.
01:37:50.000 It might be higher.
01:37:51.000 That's bad news, man.
01:37:51.000 It might be higher.
01:37:52.000 That's dangerous.
01:37:53.000 I might have made that up.
01:37:54.000 That's a dangerous ratio.
01:37:55.000 It's a spooky ratio.
01:37:57.000 I've read the ratio.
01:37:58.000 It's not a good ratio. 0.99
01:37:59.000 It's a spooky, fucked up ratio. 0.97
01:38:01.000 Well, you know, for a long time, they had limitations on how many children you can have. 0.99
01:38:03.000 Right. 0.97
01:38:04.000 Which is just fucking terrifying. 0.96
01:38:06.000 They messed up the whole thing. 0.97
01:38:07.000 It's not just that, man.
01:38:08.000 People were killing their baby if they found out their baby was a girl.
01:38:12.000 I mean, this is a real thing.
01:38:13.000 It didn't happen everywhere.
01:38:15.000 It didn't happen all the time.
01:38:16.000 But there absolutely were girls that were drowned because they were girls because the family wanted a boy.
01:38:21.000 And if you don't think that that's the case, you're delusional.
01:38:24.000 I think you're delusional.
01:38:25.000 I think if you put those kind of restrictions on intensely poor people, some of them in some parts of the country, they're in terrible poverty.
01:38:33.000 And you tell them they can only have one kid?
01:38:35.000 Yeah.
01:38:35.000 They don't want to have a boy, because a boy's gonna help them work.
01:38:38.000 Right.
01:38:38.000 I don't know if these stories of them drowning baby girls were true, because I wasn't there.
01:38:43.000 Right.
01:38:43.000 But those stories persist.
01:38:45.000 Sure.
01:38:45.000 I've never snoped them.
01:38:47.000 But I don't think they know either.
01:38:48.000 If you weren't there while it happened...
01:38:49.000 God, it's so brutal. 1.00
01:38:50.000 Fuck! 1.00
01:38:51.000 It's a horrible thing to think of! 1.00
01:38:52.000 To have a baby and then just drown it because it doesn't have a dick? 1.00
01:38:55.000 Dude, people have done that. 1.00
01:38:57.000 People have left babies in garbage cans.
01:38:58.000 I mean, people have done a lot of terrible things to babies.
01:39:01.000 When I was a kid, I worked at a place called Newport Creamery and it was right next to a bank.
01:39:07.000 And a girl that worked in the bank was pregnant. 1.00
01:39:10.000 She never told anybody she was pregnant.
01:39:11.000 She gave birth in the toilet and left the baby in the garbage. 1.00
01:39:15.000 They found the baby in the fucking garbage. 1.00
01:39:16.000 Dead. 1.00
01:39:18.000 And she got arrested.
01:39:19.000 And this was a girl I used to go to.
01:39:21.000 She was a bank teller. 0.99
01:39:23.000 I would go to the teller.
01:39:24.000 What was she like?
01:39:25.000 She seemed awkward.
01:39:28.000 Did you guys go on any dates or anything?
01:39:30.000 No, I did not.
01:39:31.000 She wasn't attractive, but she was a large woman, which is why nobody could tell that she was pregnant, because she was big. 1.00
01:39:37.000 And she apparently had been pregnant and didn't tell anybody.
01:39:41.000 And nine months pregnant at work and just had the baby in the toilet and threw it in the trash can. 1.00
01:39:46.000 And I don't know if she didn't take the trash out.
01:39:49.000 I don't know how she got busted. 0.95
01:39:51.000 Can you imagine going into the bathroom and you're taking a shit and you're like, why does it smell like... 0.99
01:39:56.000 Baby in here. 1.00
01:39:57.000 What the fuck is that smell? 0.99
01:39:58.000 And then you look in the waste paper basket and you see an eye. 1.00
01:40:03.000 Just looking at you. 1.00
01:40:05.000 That is so fucked up, man. 1.00
01:40:06.000 So fucked up. 1.00
01:40:07.000 That was a real person that I knew. 1.00
01:40:09.000 The country with the highest gender disparity at birth is in China.
01:40:12.000 What is it?
01:40:12.000 Liechtenstein.
01:40:13.000 Oh, where's that?
01:40:15.000 Terrible place.
01:40:16.000 Sad place.
01:40:17.000 Okay, but let's find out what the ratio of men to women is. 1.00
01:40:20.000 There's about 33 million more men than women.
01:40:23.000 So it's like 733 million men and 688 or something like that.
01:40:28.000 Okay, so it's like 90s.
01:40:30.000 That's like in the 90s, isn't it?
01:40:31.000 Jesus Christ, man.
01:40:33.000 That's crazy.
01:40:34.000 It's still a large number. 0.96
01:40:35.000 Thank God for sex robots. 0.99
01:40:36.000 That's better, though.
01:40:38.000 That's better than I thought it was.
01:40:40.000 Within 115 males, every 100...
01:40:43.000 Go ahead, brother.
01:40:44.000 115 males to every 100 females.
01:40:47.000 China is in the country with the most historic.
01:40:48.000 That's crazy.
01:40:49.000 Imagine if you're in a room.
01:40:50.000 There's 115 dudes and 100 girls.
01:40:52.000 It's like a crazy musical chair thing. 0.99
01:40:54.000 You're like, shit, I've got to find a gal. 1.00
01:40:55.000 This one's worse. 1.00
01:40:56.000 We're in Liechtenstein.
01:40:57.000 It's 126 males to every 100, but there's less than 40,000 people in the whole country.
01:41:01.000 So it's even worse.
01:41:02.000 Because there's less.
01:41:05.000 Less possibility. 1.00
01:41:06.000 Fuck, man. 1.00
01:41:08.000 Imagine if there's a country. 1.00
01:41:09.000 That's a crazy country.
01:41:10.000 37,000 people. 0.99
01:41:11.000 That's a crazy country.
01:41:13.000 That country is like Burbank.
01:41:14.000 No, it's not even Burbank.
01:41:16.000 No.
01:41:17.000 It's like, what's 37,000?
01:41:19.000 Let's take a guess.
01:41:22.000 Part of LA has 37,000 people in it.
01:41:25.000 Yeah, I mean, Jesus Christ.
01:41:25.000 37,000.
01:41:28.000 That's nothing out here.
01:41:30.000 Boulder is 100,000.
01:41:32.000 And Boulder seems so quaint.
01:41:35.000 That town is one-third the size of Boulder.
01:41:38.000 I mean, that country is one-third the size of Boulder.
01:41:41.000 That's amazing.
01:41:42.000 Wow.
01:41:43.000 When you think of it that way, that's amazing.
01:41:46.000 As many people as in Culver City.
01:41:51.000 Imagine if Culver City was a country.
01:41:53.000 Whoa.
01:41:53.000 Beverly Hills has 34,000.
01:41:55.000 That's amazing.
01:41:56.000 So it's Beverly Hills.
01:41:57.000 Yeah.
01:41:57.000 It's Beverly Hills as a country.
01:41:59.000 With all dudes.
01:41:59.000 That's amazing.
01:42:00.000 With all dudes.
01:42:01.000 Just like Beverly Hills. 1.00
01:42:03.000 That gay couple thing is sad as fuck. 1.00
01:42:05.000 Imagine? 1.00
01:42:08.000 People have a real hard time with the idea of gay people raising kids.
01:42:11.000 They get real angry.
01:42:13.000 I just can't think that all gay people are the same. 1.00
01:42:18.000 Why would you not think that some gay people would be good at all kinds of things?
01:42:22.000 There's gonna be gay people that are great carpenters.
01:42:25.000 There's gonna be gay people just like straight people. 1.00
01:42:28.000 There's gonna be awesome ones, and there's gonna be ones that are fucked up. 0.99
01:42:32.000 The idea that they wouldn't be good parents. 1.00
01:42:35.000 Wouldn't you rather have two gay parents that loved you than a mother that's a fucking crackhead and a dad that's a piece of shit and beats you? 1.00
01:42:43.000 Two gay people that let you be yourself. 1.00
01:42:46.000 They're cool and conscientious. 0.91
01:42:48.000 They just happen to be homosexual. 0.67
01:42:51.000 They love each other.
01:42:52.000 They hug in front of you. 0.99
01:42:53.000 You realize we're all wrapped up in this bullshit of men and women should only be together. 1.00
01:43:00.000 Heterosexual people like ourselves. 1.00
01:43:03.000 We get weird when you think of someone who's homosexual. 0.98
01:43:06.000 Like, I'm fully in support of it, but if they started fucking right in front of me, I'd be like, hey, I gotta go. 0.99
01:43:11.000 Whereas, like, if Duncan started banging his girlfriend right in front of me, I'd be like, um... 0.99
01:43:16.000 You'd love it.
01:43:17.000 Do you want me to cheer you on?
01:43:19.000 Just watch.
01:43:20.000 Just watch.
01:43:21.000 Okay, don't look at me when you come, though.
01:43:23.000 That last time was weird.
01:43:25.000 Just, like, look over.
01:43:27.000 Make eye contact with me.
01:43:31.000 I've seen guys kiss in public, and part of me is happy for them.
01:43:36.000 Part of me is like, that's awesome, that they're so comfortable.
01:43:39.000 In 2018 now, it was 17 at the time, maybe even 16. I've seen it a couple of times.
01:43:45.000 One time I was driving, and I was going from the Comedy Store.
01:43:49.000 I took a right, and then I went down...
01:43:51.000 Is it Doheny?
01:43:52.000 Which street is it?
01:43:53.000 One of the streets that goes right to Santa Monica Boulevard, which is like... 0.89
01:43:57.000 Full rage gay central. 0.99
01:43:59.000 They're just dudes in the streets partying. 1.00
01:44:02.000 There's this big gay club with guys on poles and shit. 1.00
01:44:05.000 And there's these two dudes. 1.00
01:44:07.000 And they were hanging out.
01:44:08.000 And they were belt looping.
01:44:11.000 Where, like, they each had their hands on the other's belt loops, like, anchoring in, and they were just grinding on each other and kissing, and I was just, I was in my car, I was like, oh, Jesus!
01:44:23.000 Jesus, keep moving!
01:44:25.000 Don't stop here!
01:44:26.000 I was, like, terrified, I was like, the car was stopped, and they were right there, like, belt looping and making out.
01:44:32.000 Okay.
01:44:33.000 Simulator, you have access to any experience you want.
01:44:37.000 Uh-huh.
01:44:38.000 And you're in it for, I don't know, a hundred thousand years.
01:44:41.000 You're like some, you're an immortal being. 0.99
01:44:43.000 How long before you simulate fucking a dude, Joe? 1.00
01:44:46.000 Well, you know what happened with Marlon Brando? 1.00
01:44:48.000 Yeah, he fucked Pryor. 0.99
01:44:50.000 He also fucked Marvin Gaye. 1.00
01:44:51.000 What a roster. 1.00
01:44:53.000 Wow.
01:44:53.000 He's just really into talented black guys.
01:44:55.000 Yeah, wow.
01:44:56.000 But you're not answering the question.
01:44:57.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
01:44:58.000 In the simulator.
01:44:59.000 How long? 0.99
01:45:00.000 How long before you start having sex with guys? 0.94
01:45:01.000 How long before you decide to have sex with a guy, like in a simulator? 0.99
01:45:04.000 It's like for like thousands of years you're having, you know, any kind of, you can literally fuck. 0.99
01:45:11.000 Anybody that you want in this simulation. 0.99
01:45:14.000 And you're in there for a long time. 0.99
01:45:16.000 So you go through fucking every single possible iteration of woman. 1.00
01:45:21.000 You just fuck and fuck three ways, six ways, thousands of ways. 1.00
01:45:26.000 You're just laying in a rainforest of beautiful pussies squirting on you and fucking and everything that your mind can think of sexually. 1.00
01:45:35.000 You're just doing it. 1.00
01:45:37.000 How long before you start adding cock into the equation? 0.89
01:45:41.000 Well, I think if we did an experiment where we both took a journey like that, where I'll see you, we'll be just like we are now, but it would be 100,000 years of whatever you want later, okay? 0.99
01:45:54.000 We'll show up 100,000 years from now, you'll have dick on your breath, and I won't. 0.99
01:46:02.000 I would have gone through the whole hundred thousand years with no gay sex, because I could do whatever I want. 1.00
01:46:08.000 Why would I fuck dudes? 1.00
01:46:10.000 I would have sex with girls, and then when I was done having sex with girls, I would take a nap or I'd do some other shit. 1.00
01:46:16.000 Meanwhile, you'd be like, I gotta stick it somewhere, man! 1.00
01:46:18.000 When can I start fucking guys? 0.99
01:46:20.000 It's true, man. 1.00
01:46:22.000 Yeah, I would get to the finish line.
01:46:25.000 And I'd be like, no, dude.
01:46:26.000 A finish line?
01:46:27.000 I would be like, yeah, made it to 100,000 years.
01:46:29.000 100,000 years, that's the race. 0.98
01:46:30.000 No dick for 100,000 years. 0.97
01:46:32.000 You would have made it with a... 1.00
01:46:34.000 Because you're eternal.
01:46:36.000 You just have girlfriends, man. 1.00
01:46:39.000 Why would you just start sucking dick because, well, it's about that time! 1.00
01:46:42.000 You look at your watch, what, after a couple of years, you're like, enough of this pussy! 1.00
01:46:47.000 Couple of months. 1.00
01:46:49.000 Come on, man.
01:46:49.000 Why is 100,000 years any different than 20 years?
01:46:51.000 Did 20 years ago you feel less likely to suck a dick than you feel today? 1.00
01:46:55.000 No. 1.00
01:46:56.000 You're the exact same goddamn human being other than you've learned and gotten better at life. 1.00
01:47:00.000 You still like the same shit. 1.00
01:47:02.000 First of all, I just want to go back a little bit, because you said at the end of the 100,000 years, I've cocked on my... 1.00
01:47:07.000 You don't have dick in your breath, and I won't. 0.98
01:47:08.000 Here's the thing. 1.00
01:47:09.000 In my simulator, in my simulator, cocks are going to have different flavors. 0.99
01:47:14.000 It's not going to just be cock. 0.97
01:47:15.000 It'll be like an owl toy.
01:47:17.000 That's how they get you.
01:47:18.000 They get you by minty. 1.00
01:47:20.000 I hate to say this to you, but your dick tastes terrible, and you need to get it minty. 1.00
01:47:27.000 There's a way. 1.00
01:47:28.000 There's a way. 1.00
01:47:28.000 And then guys are going to suck it, and then they're going to get mint in their mouth. 1.00
01:47:31.000 If you sucked my dick, you'd get mint in your mouth. 1.00
01:47:33.000 You want to feel it? 1.00
01:47:34.000 Just try it out.
01:47:35.000 I know it seems weird, but it'll get you minty. 0.99
01:47:38.000 I will fully admit that at the end of the 100,000 years, I've sucked dicks in the sex simulator, but the fact that you think you haven't, I would like to do a poll. 0.99
01:47:45.000 I'll get to the end. 0.99
01:47:46.000 I'd be wearing a cowboy hat.
01:47:48.000 Bare-chested. 0.86
01:47:49.000 That's...
01:47:50.000 Riding a horse.
01:47:51.000 I'm fighting it off with every fiber of my being, but I make it.
01:47:57.000 I don't want my bare chest, and I'm bare chested with a bandana.
01:48:01.000 Like, I'm close.
01:48:02.000 I'm close.
01:48:03.000 I'm shaving my chest with a straight razor in the front mirror at the barbershop. 0.81
01:48:08.000 I'm super close to going gay, but I don't.
01:48:11.000 I make it to 100,000 years.
01:48:13.000 Clean.
01:48:14.000 I have cowboy boots on with no socks.
01:48:16.000 Then you lose.
01:48:16.000 You lose the race.
01:48:17.000 Wrong. 1.00
01:48:18.000 I fucking win. 1.00
01:48:19.000 I don't have dick in my breath at the end of the race. 0.99
01:48:22.000 And I don't have those dirty memories either. 1.00
01:48:24.000 You have dirty, dirty memories.
01:48:25.000 Yes, I do. 1.00
01:48:26.000 Of butts and shit and Tupperware and slip and slide with the jizz. 1.00
01:48:29.000 You think I'm stopping with dudes? 1.00
01:48:32.000 I'm sucking off dinosaurs. 1.00
01:48:36.000 That's right. 1.00
01:48:37.000 You can have anything you want. 1.00
01:48:38.000 You can butt fuck a unicorn in the sky. 1.00
01:48:40.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:48:41.000 Yeah, why not?
01:48:42.000 If you could do whatever you want.
01:48:43.000 If you could do whatever you want.
01:48:45.000 You had like full charge.
01:48:46.000 Like if your life was a virtual...
01:48:49.000 experience that you can control with your mind as if you had a control panel.
01:48:54.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:48:54.000 You would just start sucking dicks. 1.00
01:48:56.000 Not me. 1.00
01:48:57.000 I'd be bulletproof, robbing banks.
01:48:59.000 Among other things!
01:48:59.000 I'd be fighting vampires.
01:49:01.000 I'd make a whole world. 1.00
01:49:02.000 I would do a bunch of shit. 1.00
01:49:03.000 I'd fly. 1.00
01:49:03.000 I'd fly all over the place. 1.00
01:49:04.000 I wouldn't land and suck a dick. 1.00
01:49:07.000 What? 1.00
01:49:07.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:49:08.000 You know, have you ever heard the Alan Watts thing about this?
01:49:11.000 You ever heard Alan Watts talk about this?
01:49:12.000 I've heard him talk about it a lot, but not about that.
01:49:16.000 Did he really?
01:49:16.000 No, he talks about...
01:49:17.000 He does this great thought experiment, which is like, okay, if you were able to do anything you wanted, you've definitely heard this.
01:49:25.000 But if you were able to do anything you wanted, if you were an infinite being, omnipotent, and you could do whatever you want, You would experiment with making everything, and you would try everything, and you would do everything.
01:49:35.000 We're talking about infinity.
01:49:36.000 You're literally in this state of creative flow for infinity.
01:49:40.000 And he has a great lecture that I'm going to butcher.
01:49:43.000 You should look it up, because he's such an articulate genius.
01:49:47.000 But the essence of the thing is, eventually, Eventually.
01:49:51.000 Upon doing everything and creating a universe and creating planets and creating a planet where there's life on it and being a God that communicates with the beings on the planet, you're going to start thinking to yourself, I wonder what would happen if I made myself one of the beings on the planet and couldn't remember that I was God.
01:50:09.000 And that's what you are, that's what we are, is we are one of the experiments of the Divine seeing, shit, I wonder what happens if I forget that I'm capable of creating anything that I want whenever I want, that I've made the entire universe.
01:50:22.000 Let me turn myself into this hyper-limited version of myself with no memory of what I was and play that game at that level, because it's a lot more fun, it's amusing, it's exciting, right? 0.84
01:50:33.000 And that's when Alan Watts starts talking about Which cocks he would simulate inside that machine? 0.53
01:50:41.000 No.
01:50:43.000 Have you ever heard Marshall McLuhan speak?
01:50:48.000 No.
01:50:48.000 There's some interesting YouTube videos.
01:50:53.000 You could watch McLuhan talk, and he doesn't look anything like you'd expect.
01:50:57.000 It's really interesting.
01:50:58.000 His scientific dissection Of what's happening with media and what's happening with technology and where the future lies is so fascinating because it's from the 1960s.
01:51:15.000 And he's talking about the media is the message, I think is the name of the lecture in the book.
01:51:21.000 That was the same book where he wrote one of my all-time favorite quotes that human beings are the sex organs of the machine world Like this guy had no internet.
01:51:30.000 He had I mean nothing was like anything to the most electronics they had was a goddamn calculator Yeah, they had nothing the computers they had were giant rooms filled with shit, you know like yeah, but somehow or another he saw where it was all going He was seeing things And pointing things out just with the very nature of our ability to communicate and our ability to innovate and where it was all headed.
01:51:53.000 Yeah. 0.96
01:51:54.000 Fucking fascinating because you think about how it did play out and no one saw this coming, man. 0.95
01:52:00.000 What no one saw coming was what we're on right now, the internet. 0.97
01:52:04.000 Right. 0.99
01:52:04.000 This fucking new thing. 0.99
01:52:06.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:52:06.000 Where people can just find out the answer to, like we've done so far today, about scientific questions, about Descartes, and fucking periods that this was constructed, and when did this happen, and 1079, what? 0.98
01:52:22.000 You're getting a download unlike anybody that's ever lived.
01:52:28.000 Yeah.
01:52:29.000 It's amazing.
01:52:30.000 Everybody can do it.
01:52:30.000 This is the thing that's making the boundaries between us and the leaders of the world.
01:52:36.000 This is why there's such a problem.
01:52:38.000 It's because we have all the information too.
01:52:41.000 Everybody has all the information.
01:52:43.000 And the only thing that's keeping it all glued together is tradition.
01:52:46.000 The only thing that's keeping the hierarchies into the position of power they're at right now without being completely abandoned and restructured from the bottom up, the only thing that's keeping them together is tradition.
01:52:56.000 That's it.
01:52:57.000 What do you mean?
01:52:57.000 The only thing that's keeping government and just borders and nations and the whole concept that we're existing, that there are a bunch of different countries and there's a bunch of different leaders and this guy controls the truth.
01:53:11.000 The only thing that's keeping that together is tradition.
01:53:13.000 The only thing.
01:53:14.000 If we eventually can communicate with each other in a way that foregoes all of the current limitations and all the past limitations.
01:53:23.000 Something that bypasses all that stuff.
01:53:25.000 One of the first things that's going to go is the illogical traditions.
01:53:29.000 But it seems like it's traditions being guarded by dudes with guns.
01:53:33.000 They are. 0.99
01:53:34.000 But those dudes with guns are going to die. 1.00
01:53:37.000 And new young dudes with guns are going to take their place.
01:53:40.000 This is just a...
01:53:41.000 I mean, it might take generations.
01:53:42.000 But this is what happens with ideas.
01:53:44.000 It's just happening so fast now.
01:53:46.000 And some of the people with the old ideas, they were born and raised with the old ideas.
01:53:50.000 They're still around.
01:53:51.000 They're still stuck in this old system.
01:53:52.000 But then this new system has blossomed and they're trapped. 0.94
01:53:56.000 And they're shitting bricks. 0.99
01:53:57.000 They're shitting bricks. 0.97
01:53:58.000 And they're trying to stop it. 0.67
01:53:59.000 Exactly.
01:54:00.000 And they're actively trying to stop it. 1.00
01:54:01.000 Did you hear that shit Jeff Sessions said? 0.99
01:54:03.000 I don't mean to keep harping on that guy. 1.00
01:54:05.000 Yeah, please do.
01:54:06.000 He said that, like...
01:54:09.000 He just came out again saying that he thinks that the opioid epidemic, as they call it, is being partially fueled by marijuana as a gateway drug.
01:54:20.000 That marijuana is getting people onto painkillers, which is a completely...
01:54:26.000 I mean, not only is it wrong, it's like they can show...
01:54:31.000 Statistics that seem to indicate that...
01:54:33.000 The opposite.
01:54:34.000 The opposite.
01:54:35.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:54:35.000 But that crazy fuck is saying it publicly like it's real and it's not. 1.00
01:54:41.000 And just the fact that, like, that man is allowed... 1.00
01:54:46.000 to continue having his job which theoretically somebody who's in his position should be so hyper aware of the data on all drugs because a person in that position we need a person just like you're saying we need shepherds like this fucking fentanyl shit man yes one of my friends he lost his his his wife to this so many people are dying because of this like we know a couple people that are dying from it It's terrible. 0.99
01:55:14.000 It killed Tom Petty. 0.99
01:55:15.000 It's so sad.
01:55:17.000 It killed Prince.
01:55:17.000 It's terrible.
01:55:19.000 So we need to have some regulatory force that's making sure that these poisons... 0.92
01:55:24.000 But they're not regulating that.
01:55:25.000 They're going after the stuff that's the most innocuous, the safest, the most beneficial.
01:55:29.000 Medicinal.
01:55:30.000 Could you imagine having a podcast with Jeff Sessions?
01:55:33.000 Just you sitting across from Jeff Sessions for three hours and talking to him about things.
01:55:38.000 Dude, I've heard...
01:55:40.000 And this is like...
01:55:41.000 I hate to say...
01:55:42.000 He smells like sulfur?
01:55:43.000 No, I hate to say this.
01:55:44.000 I don't want to say this.
01:55:46.000 I've heard he's funny and he likes to argue and he's cool to hang out with. 0.98
01:55:51.000 That's what sucks. 0.88
01:55:52.000 Yeah, you want him to be like... 0.93
01:55:54.000 Well, you say that, but if you had him on a podcast, I bet you'd chip away through all those...
01:55:59.000 That party personality.
01:56:00.000 No, these people, that's the problem, man.
01:56:02.000 These people, they're not...
01:56:03.000 Lizards.
01:56:03.000 They're not lizards.
01:56:04.000 That's the problem. 1.00
01:56:05.000 If they were fucking lizards, if only Jeff Sessions was a fucking lizard. 1.00
01:56:09.000 The problem is, it's like, they're not like that. 1.00
01:56:11.000 They're just confused.
01:56:15.000 Yes, Master Sessions.
01:56:17.000 Your podcast is wonderful.
01:56:19.000 Thank you, Father.
01:56:21.000 Thank you.
01:56:22.000 Thank you.
01:56:23.000 Thank you.
01:56:24.000 No, the problem is we have to have compassion for these people because they're not bad.
01:56:28.000 They're misguided.
01:56:30.000 Misinformed.
01:56:31.000 Yes!
01:56:31.000 And they can be turned around with the proper experiences.
01:56:34.000 Right.
01:56:34.000 And if they're willing to abandon their previous notions.
01:56:37.000 But the problem is so many people are so invested in their identity that it's impossible for them to give up their notions.
01:56:43.000 Just like the Egyptologists that don't want to look at the possibility that maybe they've been doing these fantastic constructions in Egypt a lot longer than we think.
01:56:51.000 Right.
01:56:52.000 Which is entirely possible.
01:56:53.000 Right.
01:56:55.000 Take it back to Egypt one last time. 0.93
01:56:56.000 No one's doubting that the Great Pyramid of Giza was constructed somewhere around 2500 BC, according to all the data that we have right now.
01:57:05.000 Because they've been able to carbon date stuff that they find in between the stones.
01:57:08.000 They're pretty sure that it's somewhere in that range.
01:57:10.000 They're off here or there a little bit.
01:57:12.000 But there's some other construction that...
01:57:14.000 John Anthony West pointed out that's buried under sand they find. 0.93
01:57:18.000 It might have been buried for who knows how fucking long.
01:57:21.000 And it's a different style of construction. 0.94
01:57:22.000 And it looks really old.
01:57:23.000 One of the things about the styles of construction and the things that they find in Egypt is a lot of it is buried in sand after a while.
01:57:32.000 Even the Sphinx itself.
01:57:33.000 You know, when they found the Sphinx...
01:57:35.000 And one of the things that...
01:57:36.000 One of the people that is in some of the ancient hieroglyphs, it's attributed to being alive at the same time as a scroll, I forget which pharaoh, but he heard in a dream that if he uncovered the Sphinx,
01:57:52.000 that he would become pharaoh of Egypt, because it was covered in sand.
01:57:56.000 Like, he had written down at that time, and this was like 2000 BC or something crazy like that, it was covered in sand back then.
01:58:03.000 Wow.
01:58:04.000 They don't even know.
01:58:04.000 I mean, there's so little they know about who made it and why.
01:58:08.000 I bet you know the answer to this.
01:58:09.000 How, and this is probably a dumb question, I'm sorry, but how deep is the sand out there? 0.99
01:58:14.000 Like, how far down does that fucking sand get? 0.99
01:58:16.000 That's a very good question. 1.00
01:58:18.000 That's a very good question.
01:58:19.000 And doesn't sand, here's the other thing, isn't sand from oceans beating down rocks?
01:58:24.000 Yeah.
01:58:25.000 And that's what sand is.
01:58:27.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:58:27.000 That's what's the most fucked up thing about the desert. 0.99
01:58:30.000 There's just no goddamn ocean. 0.99
01:58:32.000 But you've got so much sand. 0.99
01:58:35.000 Yeah.
01:58:35.000 That is mostly from what?
01:58:37.000 Isn't it?
01:58:37.000 I think sand's mostly created, it's probably created a few different ways, but I think it's mostly created by oceans beating down rocks.
01:58:45.000 Right.
01:58:46.000 So that's just time.
01:58:48.000 You're just looking at time. 0.99
01:58:49.000 You're looking at the craziest fucking stamp of time we can look at. 0.99
01:58:52.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:58:53.000 How long does it take for an ocean to turn rocks into a goddamn desert? 1.00
01:58:58.000 Holy shit, dude. 1.00
01:59:00.000 What is under the sand? 1.00
01:59:02.000 A mega lake?
01:59:03.000 Oh! 0.60
01:59:04.000 Beneath the sands of the Sahara Desert, scientists have discovered evidence of a prehistoric mega lake!
01:59:09.000 There's a monster down there!
01:59:10.000 Using images of windblown sediments, sediments produced by running water and bedrock seen by radar beneath the desert sands, the geologists pieced together the profile of an ancient mega lake.
01:59:21.000 Oh, wow.
01:59:21.000 Cool.
01:59:22.000 So the sand goes 69 to 141 feet in the Sahara...
01:59:29.000 And three feet in the Simpson Desert.
01:59:32.000 I don't know where that is.
01:59:33.000 The depths of sand varies widely around the world.
01:59:36.000 69 to 141 feet.
01:59:37.000 Wow.
01:59:39.000 141 feet of just sand.
01:59:41.000 So, am I right that sand is created by the ocean beating down rocks?
01:59:45.000 I think that's true most of the time, and maybe it's not true all the time. 1.00
01:59:49.000 It's so nice to be so stupid. 1.00
01:59:50.000 You just ask questions. 1.00
01:59:51.000 It's so fun to figure it out.
01:59:53.000 Like, you get to know.
01:59:54.000 Like, it's great.
01:59:55.000 No idea.
01:59:56.000 Yeah.
01:59:57.000 I was talking to Neil deGrasse Tyson the other day, and he was trying to explain to me escape velocity.
02:00:07.000 And he takes my shoe.
02:00:09.000 He goes, let me see your shoe.
02:00:10.000 And he takes my shoe, and he goes, now, if I throw this up in the air, it's going to come down.
02:00:14.000 But if I throw it hard enough...
02:00:17.000 It will escape the pull of the gravity of the Earth, and once it's free, it will go on forever.
02:00:22.000 Yeah.
02:00:22.000 You sit there like, what?
02:00:24.000 That's fucking cool. 0.99
02:00:25.000 What? 0.99
02:00:26.000 Yeah.
02:00:27.000 You try to put that in your head like, wait a minute, what?
02:00:30.000 It goes on forever.
02:00:32.000 Isn't that the problem?
02:00:32.000 Now this, Scott, this is great.
02:00:34.000 Two just dummies talking. 0.98
02:00:36.000 Isn't this the problem with the moon? 0.95
02:00:38.000 Is that, not the problem with the moon, but if you jump on the moon, you can escape the escape, like it's easier to get out of the escape velocity of the moon?
02:00:46.000 No, it's one-sixth Earth's gravity.
02:00:48.000 Oh, really?
02:00:48.000 Yeah.
02:00:49.000 I always thought on the moon you could jump and you would fly into space.
02:00:52.000 No, no, no, no.
02:00:53.000 You can, theoretically, you can jump higher, and if you believe in NASA, bro, there's some videos of guys jumping around on the moon.
02:01:03.000 Yeah.
02:01:03.000 The problem with the videos of people on the moon is that there are videos that look 100% fake.
02:01:11.000 What guys fall forward and it looks like they get yanked up by wires. 0.99
02:01:15.000 There's a lot of video that looks fake as fuck. 0.98
02:01:18.000 I don't know if it's fake. 0.98
02:01:19.000 I don't know if it just looks fake because it's 1-6 the Earth's gravity and we don't know what that really looks like until you see it play out.
02:01:25.000 But there's some videos of guys falling down face first and getting yanked back up.
02:01:29.000 It looks like they're yanked by cords.
02:01:30.000 Have you seen that picture of the thing that looks like...
02:01:32.000 What's up, Jamie?
02:01:33.000 After we talked about this last time, some people sent in videos of NFL players doing the exact same thing in the end zone.
02:01:39.000 Yeah, super athletes.
02:01:40.000 There's three or four guys doing it.
02:01:42.000 Throw their body, but they don't have a giant pack on their back.
02:01:44.000 They're not wearing helmets.
02:01:46.000 They're wearing helmets. 0.99
02:01:46.000 That shit's light compared to what the astronauts are wearing, dude. 0.99
02:01:49.000 Astronauts have like a suit that keeps them... 1.00
02:01:53.000 But if the concept is the suit, if the concept is they're not even on the fucking moon, then that suit could just be paper mache.
02:01:59.000 But some of the ones where they're pitched completely forward and they just go backwards. 0.66
02:02:02.000 That's literally what I'm trying to find it right now.
02:02:03.000 I would love to see it.
02:02:05.000 That's interesting.
02:02:06.000 So you're still wavering on whether we went to the moon?
02:02:09.000 No, I'm too dumb and uneducated to really know, but I am wavering more on the possibility that some of the footage was faked.
02:02:18.000 Let me see this. 0.94
02:02:18.000 Super quick. 0.94
02:02:18.000 It's a five second video, so it's like no instant reply. 0.94
02:02:23.000 Boom.
02:02:25.000 That is not the same thing, Jamie.
02:02:27.000 I can do that.
02:02:28.000 Super similar, though. 1.00
02:02:29.000 Dude, bullshit. 1.00
02:02:30.000 I can do that. 1.00
02:02:31.000 I'll do that right now.
02:02:32.000 I'll find another one.
02:02:33.000 The guy goes to his knees and then uses his momentum to pop up from his knees.
02:02:37.000 I've seen some that look pretty crazy, though, man. 0.98
02:02:40.000 Dude, that's ridiculous. 0.98
02:02:41.000 I'll find another one. 0.99
02:02:41.000 The moon ones are way more preposterous than that. 0.99
02:02:43.000 I've seen better examples than that, though.
02:02:45.000 Oh yeah, super athletes.
02:02:46.000 But what they're doing is springing up, and you can see the kinetic energy from their legs that's forcing them up.
02:02:52.000 They're super athletes.
02:02:53.000 They show off. 1.00
02:02:54.000 Those guys do backflips and shit all the time. 0.99
02:02:56.000 They're physically capable of doing things that a normal person can't do, but they're not physically capable of defying physics. 0.97
02:03:03.000 What you're seeing in a lot of those moon videos looks like someone's defying physics.
02:03:07.000 They pitch forward and they bounce back up. 1.00
02:03:09.000 I think they shot a bunch of shit. 0.97
02:03:11.000 And I think some of the video, if you're going into space and you're experiencing deep radiation, the Van Allen radiation belts and from the sun. 1.00
02:03:17.000 Dude, you can't even go through the fucking x-ray machine at the airport. 0.56
02:03:20.000 The old x-ray machines with film. 0.99
02:03:22.000 They wouldn't let you. 0.99
02:03:23.000 Because if you went through with film, it would kill your fucking film. 0.99
02:03:26.000 So how are they getting these perfect videos and photos and none of them are fucked up by radiation? 0.98
02:03:30.000 It's entirely possible that they did go to the moon, but they faked a bunch of the film footage because they wanted to have something and they couldn't really bring anything back.
02:03:40.000 It's entirely possible.
02:03:41.000 There's faked footage from the Russians, 100%. 0.96
02:03:44.000 There's a precedent.
02:03:45.000 The footage of Yuri Gagarin when he's circling Earth for the first time and he goes in a rocket and the first guy in space... 0.99
02:03:52.000 It's fake as fuck, dude. 0.99
02:03:53.000 Really? 1.00
02:03:53.000 He's inside this tiny little compartment and all of a sudden they got room in there for a camera? 1.00
02:03:58.000 Get the fuck out of here, bitch. 1.00
02:03:59.000 You see a light source this way and a light source that way. 1.00
02:04:02.000 He's got dueling shadows behind him because they got lights set up in there because they're filming him inside this capsule.
02:04:08.000 No.
02:04:08.000 He shot up in the space.
02:04:10.000 He really did do it. 0.99
02:04:11.000 But they couldn't fit a goddamn camera in this tiny little capsule. 1.00
02:04:14.000 Right. 1.00
02:04:14.000 There's no room. 1.00
02:04:16.000 So they just faked it after the fact.
02:04:18.000 Makes sense.
02:04:19.000 Of course it makes sense.
02:04:20.000 Saves a lot of money.
02:04:20.000 There was no internet back then.
02:04:22.000 There was no VHS tapes back then.
02:04:24.000 Right.
02:04:24.000 They broadcast something on TV. As far as their eyes and their mind goes, that was the only time people were going to see it.
02:04:30.000 Right.
02:04:31.000 All they have to do is show it to you once.
02:04:32.000 Pull it off.
02:04:33.000 Nobody ever imagined you'd be able to pull it up on your phone or two stoners like you and me would be watching on a podcast.
02:04:41.000 See if you can find the video of Yuri Gagarin from inside his, what would you call those things?
02:04:47.000 Pods.
02:04:47.000 Pods.
02:04:48.000 What would you call it?
02:04:49.000 Yuri Gagarin in space. 0.99
02:04:50.000 You watch it, you go, get the fuck out of here. 0.99
02:04:53.000 You watch it and you go, what? 1.00
02:04:55.000 That is fake.
02:04:56.000 That is not him.
02:04:57.000 Or it's not him in space, rather.
02:05:00.000 See, here it is.
02:05:01.000 And blast off. 0.96
02:05:05.000 Here he is.
02:05:05.000 He's getting in the bus.
02:05:06.000 He's heading to space.
02:05:08.000 I can't believe it.
02:05:09.000 Yuri, show me.
02:05:10.000 Where are you?
02:05:11.000 Right.
02:05:12.000 See, he's in this thing.
02:05:13.000 Look at that.
02:05:13.000 Right there!
02:05:13.000 Back it up!
02:05:14.000 That was it.
02:05:15.000 That's it.
02:05:16.000 Watch this.
02:05:19.000 Are we good?
02:05:19.000 We're good.
02:05:20.000 We're going to stop it.
02:05:21.000 Here we go.
02:05:22.000 And take off.
02:05:24.000 Look at the lights.
02:05:26.000 You see?
02:05:26.000 Hold on.
02:05:26.000 Back up.
02:05:27.000 Back up.
02:05:27.000 Back up.
02:05:28.000 Stop.
02:05:28.000 Pause it.
02:05:29.000 Look at the shadows.
02:05:30.000 Shadow to the left, shadow to the right. 1.00
02:05:32.000 There's fucking lights in front of him! 1.00
02:05:35.000 They have lights in there! 1.00
02:05:36.000 He's in this tiny little pod!
02:05:38.000 How's it lit up?
02:05:40.000 No!
02:05:41.000 Maybe they just have...
02:05:42.000 No!
02:05:44.000 There's no windows!
02:05:45.000 Why couldn't they have lights in there, Joe?
02:05:47.000 Because they got no room.
02:05:48.000 It seems like there's enough room.
02:05:50.000 The panels don't have lights on.
02:05:51.000 They don't have lights back then.
02:05:52.000 Think about it.
02:05:53.000 These candles.
02:05:55.000 There's a campfire.
02:05:55.000 There's a campfire in there.
02:05:57.000 I saw a few breakdowns of the moon landing, too, that said it would be way, way, way harder to fake it back then than it would have been to actually just do it.
02:06:03.000 I've heard that, too.
02:06:03.000 Yeah, I've heard that, too.
02:06:04.000 But I don't think we're talking about faking going to the moon.
02:06:07.000 You're not understanding what I'm saying.
02:06:09.000 We're talking about faking footage.
02:06:10.000 We're not talking about faking going to the moon.
02:06:13.000 I think they probably did go to the moon. 0.96
02:06:15.000 But I would imagine that at least some of the footage you're seeing is horseshit.
02:06:19.000 From what I wasn't obviously alive then, it was like a 140 minute live stream.
02:06:25.000 Right.
02:06:25.000 So that's hard to fake.
02:06:27.000 No, it's not.
02:06:28.000 No, if you just have people in orbit...
02:06:31.000 It wouldn't be hard to fake.
02:06:32.000 Look, I think it'd be harder to go there than it would be to fake it.
02:06:36.000 I think going there, if they did go there, and I think they probably did, was an unbelievably difficult thing to do.
02:06:43.000 But, like, faking that they were there?
02:06:45.000 How hard would that be?
02:06:46.000 Like, after the fact?
02:06:48.000 Like, filming footage?
02:06:49.000 Or filming footage of them in orbit?
02:06:51.000 Film is the part.
02:06:52.000 That would have been a mile of film reel.
02:06:54.000 Joe, it's really interesting to watch. 1.00
02:06:57.000 Do you know that all that shit's missing? 0.99
02:06:59.000 You know all the original footage is missing? 1.00
02:07:01.000 All of it. 0.98
02:07:01.000 That's the weirdest fucking thing to me, man. 0.98
02:07:04.000 Yeah, I mean, I know you do, and you're being skeptical, guys. 0.99
02:07:06.000 I looked it up.
02:07:06.000 But look, it's missing.
02:07:08.000 It is.
02:07:08.000 Not only that, you know what else is missing?
02:07:10.000 The telemetry data. 0.54
02:07:11.000 All the ones and zeros that show the location of the capsule, whatever the fuck it is, on the way.
02:07:16.000 I thought, from what I read, they still have that data.
02:07:18.000 Just the original paper it was on, or the original magnetic tapes got reused because they needed to.
02:07:23.000 Okay, well, why would you say that?
02:07:24.000 Why don't you just Google it and find out if that's the case?
02:07:26.000 That's what I read.
02:07:27.000 I read that the original tapes got written over because they needed the magnetic tape because there was a shortage at some point in time.
02:07:35.000 Right, but still.
02:07:37.000 But the data is still somewhere else.
02:07:38.000 There was a shortage? 0.99
02:07:39.000 But still, they recorded over the original tapes of the fucking moon landing. 0.99
02:07:44.000 How much of a shortage of magnetic tape do you have where you're going to record over all of the video from the motherfucking moon landing? 1.00
02:07:52.000 Fuck it. 1.00
02:07:53.000 Hey, we got a presidential parade from 76. You want to keep that? 1.00
02:07:56.000 Yeah!
02:07:57.000 Keep that! 0.99
02:07:58.000 That's a good one!
02:08:00.000 It's like if you were going through your family's VHS tapes, like, what do you want, Picnic from 82?
02:08:04.000 Yeah, that was when Mikey threw up!
02:08:06.000 Save it! 1.00
02:08:06.000 Save it! 1.00
02:08:07.000 Like, they're saving everything, but they record over the fucking moon landing video. 0.99
02:08:11.000 Yeah, who needs it? 0.98
02:08:12.000 Let's just fucking record over the first time in human history. 0.98
02:08:15.000 It is literally the craziest thing in human history to ever record over. 0.99
02:08:19.000 Right. 1.00
02:08:20.000 It is the dumbest thing in human history. 1.00
02:08:21.000 I'm not saying they didn't do it. 1.00
02:08:23.000 They might have.
02:08:24.000 The official story might be legit.
02:08:28.000 Casino.
02:08:29.000 But it might not be.
02:08:29.000 Where do you put your money on the moon landing?
02:08:31.000 Because you know what I'm detecting, Joe?
02:08:32.000 When we first got to be friends, as I recall, you didn't really believe in the moon landing.
02:08:38.000 I didn't believe it at all.
02:08:39.000 And then you went through a phase because of the podcast and having a lot of conversations with different people or something happened where you started shifting your ideas and thinking we did go to the moon.
02:08:49.000 No, I started shifting my ideas about everything.
02:08:51.000 The moon landing is just an example that's an extreme example of a position I took that I think represents...
02:08:57.000 There is mystery to that story.
02:09:00.000 There's a lot of mystery to that story still to this day. 0.98
02:09:02.000 There's a bunch of weird shit connected to the moon landing. 0.98
02:09:05.000 A lot of it. 0.99
02:09:07.000 And people are like, no there's not! 1.00
02:09:09.000 Shut up! 1.00
02:09:09.000 No, there is. 1.00
02:09:10.000 There is. 0.99
02:09:11.000 There's a bunch of weird shit connected to it. 0.99
02:09:13.000 How about the fact that they gave a fucking moon rock to, what was it, the Prime Minister of Holland? 0.99
02:09:19.000 Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins signed on this plaque and they gave this moon rock to this guy in Holland and it turned out to be petrified wood. 0.99
02:09:31.000 It was fake.
02:09:33.000 There's so much weird shit connected to the moon landing that it makes you go like, wow, the creepy speeches that Neil Armstrong gave 25 years after the moon landing, talking about uncovering hidden truths, truth-protective layers that are, 0.98
02:09:48.000 you know, Ooh, great deeds that can be done to those who can remove one of truth's protective layers. 0.98
02:09:54.000 This is a speech that he gave. 0.99
02:09:55.000 There's so much weird shit. 0.99
02:09:57.000 But some people say there's alien relics up there. 1.00
02:10:00.000 Those people are ridiculous. 0.96
02:10:00.000 There's no evidence of that. 0.96
02:10:01.000 But there is evidence that these people are talking really weird about the moon landing.
02:10:04.000 Jamie, can you pull up...
02:10:05.000 Do you know what Clinton said?
02:10:06.000 What?
02:10:06.000 Do you know what Clinton said in his book?
02:10:07.000 He wrote a book called My Life.
02:10:09.000 And in one of the chapters in My Life, he talks about a conversation that he had with a carpenter when people landed on the moon.
02:10:14.000 He was working on a construction site.
02:10:16.000 And the guy said, I don't believe it for a second.
02:10:19.000 Those television fellers, they could fake anything.
02:10:21.000 And he says, back then, I thought the guy was a crank.
02:10:23.000 But after eight years in the White House, I was starting to think that maybe he was ahead of his time. 1.00
02:10:28.000 No shit. 1.00
02:10:29.000 This is what Bill fucking Clinton wrote in his book, My Life. 1.00
02:10:34.000 Wow. 1.00
02:10:35.000 Why the fuck would you ever write that if you were the goddamn president of the United States for eight years? 1.00
02:10:39.000 And you're saying, hey, maybe the guy who thought we didn't go to the moon was right. 1.00
02:10:43.000 Right.
02:10:44.000 Might not be right.
02:10:45.000 It might be that they faked some footage.
02:10:48.000 They did fake some photos.
02:10:50.000 There's a photo of Michael Collins, who's on a moonwalk from, like, Gemini 15. And it's not a real photo.
02:10:56.000 It's a photo of him from the test runs that they did that's in a warehouse, and they blacked out all the background.
02:11:02.000 It's been proven.
02:11:03.000 They reversed the image and blacked out the background.
02:11:06.000 You could see the two of them.
02:11:08.000 If you overlay them, they line up perfectly.
02:11:10.000 It's the exact same image.
02:11:12.000 So, someone...
02:11:13.000 Whether it is an overzealous PR agent for NASA or a journalist at the time.
02:11:20.000 Who knows who actually made that photograph?
02:11:22.000 But somebody did and tried to pass that photo off as space.
02:11:26.000 So there's some deception.
02:11:27.000 We know that one is 100%.
02:11:29.000 So then you look at the other ones.
02:11:31.000 You look at the videos of guys falling down, getting yanked back up and bouncing around like they're on trampolines in some videos where they're hiding behind the lunar rover. 0.99
02:11:39.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing? 1.00
02:11:40.000 If you guys tear your suits, you're dead. 1.00
02:11:42.000 Sure.
02:11:42.000 You guys are jumping around on the moon like you're having a party up there?
02:11:45.000 Is that real? 0.98
02:11:47.000 How come I can't get a fucking regular camera through the radar machine, the x-ray machine at the airport, but you guys can fly through the radiation of space, and that shit comes out, but, well, those cameras were insulated. 0.98
02:11:59.000 They were a different kind of camera. 0.99
02:12:00.000 The camera was...
02:12:01.000 Not true.
02:12:02.000 Hasselbad said it. 0.99
02:12:03.000 They were the same goddamn cameras. 1.00
02:12:05.000 It's a regular camera. 1.00
02:12:06.000 There was no specific protection.
02:12:08.000 There was nothing unusual about the protection that those cameras had.
02:12:11.000 It's interesting, man.
02:12:12.000 You've, like, gone back.
02:12:14.000 No, I haven't.
02:12:15.000 I think...
02:12:16.000 This is the thing, man.
02:12:17.000 I'm not taking any position.
02:12:18.000 You're agnostic.
02:12:20.000 100%.
02:12:20.000 Because I don't know anything about space.
02:12:22.000 I don't know anything about the physics of space travel.
02:12:25.000 I don't know anything about the requirements, the technological requirements, but I do know.
02:12:29.000 It's one of the only things that happened between 1969 and 1972, and it's not cheaper, easier, and faster to reproduce today.
02:12:35.000 It's weird.
02:12:36.000 It's a weird thing.
02:12:37.000 That's weird, too.
02:12:37.000 It's a weird thing.
02:12:38.000 Because the only time in history people have been more than 400 miles from the Earth's surface was those moon missions.
02:12:44.000 All the Apollo missions, man.
02:12:45.000 Everything since then, all the space shuttle stuff, inside 400 miles.
02:12:49.000 Satellites, you know, or a space station, rather.
02:12:51.000 That's always been a weird thing.
02:12:52.000 You talk to people about that part, and they'll say, like, we just don't need to go there anymore.
02:12:55.000 Maybe we don't.
02:12:56.000 Maybe they're right.
02:12:57.000 Maybe they're right.
02:12:58.000 They might be right.
02:12:59.000 We don't know, but it's juicy to think they're not right.
02:13:01.000 But it's interesting how rabidly people fight off the notion. 0.97
02:13:05.000 Here's the other weird shit about it. 0.98
02:13:07.000 The Nazis were running our space program. 0.99
02:13:10.000 That's a fact.
02:13:11.000 Operation Paperclip. 1.00
02:13:12.000 Wernher von Braun was a fucking Nazi. 1.00
02:13:13.000 They brought all the scientists over, like legit Nazis who would hang Jews in front of their fucking rocket factories in Berlin. 1.00
02:13:20.000 Legit. 0.99
02:13:21.000 Guys who wear tattoos from the Holocaust identified Wernher von Braun, talked about him being in there.
02:13:27.000 That was the head of NASA. That was the guy who was trying to get us to the moon.
02:13:30.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:13:30.000 Dude, there's a lot of weird shit. 1.00
02:13:32.000 See, now you're getting deep into it. 1.00
02:13:35.000 It's the Nazis doing some kind of thing where they're like trying to fake the moon landing?
02:13:40.000 Like it's somehow attached to the Nazis?
02:13:42.000 I think the Nazis were the best rocket scientists available, right? 1.00
02:13:47.000 Or one of them, other than the ones that we had here and then the ones the Russians had. 0.96
02:13:50.000 There was a lot of competition to get the best rocket scientists.
02:13:53.000 But some of the best rocket scientists were in Nazi Germany. 0.86
02:13:55.000 So when Nazi Germany fell, Operation Paperclip took place.
02:13:59.000 And in Operation Paperclip, they brought a number of Nazi scientists from Germany secretly to America. 0.98
02:14:06.000 And one of them they put as the head of fucking NASA! Yeah, this is where it gets really cool. 0.98
02:14:11.000 Someone's explaining all this to me about how basically the thing is like, okay, you think in World War II that we just rounded up all the Nazis and they just disappeared.
02:14:22.000 And it's like, where do you think all the Nazis went? 0.98
02:14:25.000 What about the ones who are really good at making cool shit? 0.99
02:14:28.000 Yeah, well, Bayer Aspirin. 0.99
02:14:31.000 Bayer Aspirin?
02:14:32.000 I'm so sorry to ask, Jimmy, but do you mind looking up Bayer Aspirin and Cyclone B? And the Jewish slaves, I think, working for Bayer Aspirin. 0.99
02:14:41.000 But when you look at a lot of the ideas that the Nazis didn't really go anywhere, they just started corporations and some of the biggest corporations we have right now.
02:14:51.000 Do you know why Cyclone B is Cyclone B? Because Zyklon B took the smell out of it.
02:14:56.000 Zyklon A was the stuff that had an agent in it that made it smell terrible, so you could smell it.
02:15:01.000 So when they used it to gas the people in the concentration camps, they changed it so that it was undetectable.
02:15:10.000 So what does it say?
02:15:12.000 Jamie's quick with the trigger here today.
02:15:13.000 He's getting frustrated with us.
02:15:16.000 The Bear Aspen Company has finally apologized for the inhumane acts of its parent firm, including using Jewish slave laborers during the Holocaust. 1.00
02:15:24.000 Holy shit. 0.99
02:15:25.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:15:26.000 Yeah.
02:15:27.000 And there's all kinds of examples of this.
02:15:30.000 And where it gets really weird is like, this is one of the great conspiracy theories.
02:15:34.000 I think the Bush family is somehow wrapped up in it.
02:15:36.000 That's where it gets weird.
02:15:38.000 It ends up getting wrapped into American politics.
02:15:41.000 It's like, oh, do you think that the Nazis just became rocket scientists?
02:15:45.000 Do you think they just...
02:15:46.000 No.
02:15:47.000 They became pharmacists and they started running companies.
02:16:06.000 You know, like the way AIDS hides in different parts of your body?
02:16:10.000 They just hid in the shadows.
02:16:13.000 And this is one of the reasons people are freaking out about the kind of, like, friendly emergence of some people who are, like, clearly white nationalists, who are just kind of, like, being, like, interestingly accepted and embraced for, you know, let's at least have a rational conversation about how you want to start a white ethnostate,
02:16:32.000 you know, that kind of stuff.
02:16:33.000 Who's doing that?
02:16:35.000 Well, I mean, isn't this something Richard Spencer talks about?
02:16:37.000 Right, but who's taking that guy and talking to him rationally?
02:16:40.000 Well, a lot of these people are getting a lot of air time.
02:16:43.000 Right, but I think this is a bit of an exaggeration.
02:16:45.000 Maybe you're talking about Steve Bannon.
02:16:47.000 Steve Bannon got into the White House.
02:16:48.000 Sure.
02:16:48.000 Steve Bannon.
02:16:49.000 But has it been proven?
02:16:51.000 I mean, it's really easy to call a guy, a white nationalist.
02:16:54.000 Has it been proven?
02:16:55.000 I don't know much about Steve Bannon.
02:16:56.000 I don't know.
02:16:56.000 Quite honestly.
02:16:57.000 I think a lot of...
02:16:58.000 I think some of these people... 0.99
02:16:59.000 I think it's like, God, I mean, I'm going to get like a fucking... 1.00
02:17:03.000 I'm going to get like an avalanche of like, you're a fucking commie! 1.00
02:17:08.000 You cuck commie. 1.00
02:17:10.000 But I think like, for example, when you look at Trump's reaction when they were saying, asking about the KKK, and he's like, I'm not going to talk shit about this group. 0.99
02:17:17.000 I don't really know him. 0.96
02:17:18.000 Remember that?
02:17:19.000 Like, or the fact that a lot of like...
02:17:20.000 Yeah, I think you're paraphrasing.
02:17:22.000 I think what he said was a little more acceptable, but still weird.
02:17:27.000 Can we look at it?
02:17:27.000 It's like a little tiptoeing.
02:17:29.000 It's like, if someone's like, hey, KKK, what do you think? 1.00
02:17:32.000 They suck. 0.99
02:17:32.000 He also said something about there was people, bad behavior on all sides. 0.99
02:17:37.000 On all sides.
02:17:37.000 And that's one of the white nationalist groups picked up on that and said specifically that Trump didn't criticize them specifically, so this was a good thing.
02:17:47.000 The whole thing was very good for them.
02:17:48.000 Right.
02:17:48.000 It was like a white nationalist group said that.
02:17:50.000 But that could have been just him just not doing a good job Preparing what he's going to say about something and talking off the cuff, which I think he does with most things. 1.00
02:18:01.000 I think that guy does most of his shit off the cuff. 0.99
02:18:04.000 You know, he said that. 0.99
02:18:05.000 And one of the things that he said, like, he wrote that book, The Art of the Deal, he doesn't make plans.
02:18:09.000 He just goes to work and gets things done and just work off instincts.
02:18:14.000 I don't know.
02:18:14.000 The thing is, like, it's generally like when you think of certain people.
02:18:18.000 Right.
02:18:18.000 Are they a white nationalist?
02:18:20.000 Like, when I think of you.
02:18:22.000 Joe, are you a white nationalist?
02:18:24.000 No.
02:18:24.000 Right.
02:18:25.000 It's just as simple.
02:18:26.000 It's simple.
02:18:27.000 It's like there's no like, well, you know.
02:18:29.000 I'm not even a nationalist.
02:18:30.000 I love America, but I'm not a nationalist.
02:18:32.000 Right.
02:18:32.000 Exactly.
02:18:33.000 Yeah.
02:18:34.000 So the problem is with some, what you don't want, this is one thing I don't want.
02:18:39.000 I don't want there to be a blurry thing when people think of me about whether or not I'm a white nationalist.
02:18:45.000 Right.
02:18:45.000 You know what I mean?
02:18:46.000 Like, I don't want there to be a like, well, maybe he does have some kind of ideas that are based around the importance of upholding European culture and making sure that we do everything we can to prevent people from having sex with people from other races. 0.78
02:19:01.000 I don't want there to be any question.
02:19:03.000 But like, I have zero problem with Everyone humping everybody whenever they want, mixing the paints and doing whatever.
02:19:13.000 There's no question.
02:19:14.000 I don't care.
02:19:16.000 Like, I think it's fine.
02:19:18.000 Sounds like what a racist would say.
02:19:19.000 What do you mean? 0.80
02:19:20.000 Trying to, like, divert attention away from your racism. 1.00
02:19:22.000 I see what the fuck you're doing. 1.00
02:19:24.000 Dude, I see what you're doing, man. 1.00
02:19:25.000 This is virtue signaling, but race virtue. 0.95
02:19:28.000 Would you do me a favor?
02:19:28.000 I hate to dwell on this one more time, but you please Google.
02:19:30.000 I want to make sure I'm right about this, that the Hasselbad cameras from the moon landing weren't insulated in any bizarre way.
02:19:36.000 I was looking that up.
02:19:37.000 They were different cameras.
02:19:39.000 They were made specially for that.
02:19:40.000 Well, they were made for this chest thing.
02:19:42.000 They also had a special film developed by Kodak.
02:19:47.000 Special film.
02:19:48.000 Is that true?
02:19:48.000 Because I've read that it was the exact same film.
02:19:50.000 No, I just looked at it.
02:19:51.000 But who says it?
02:19:52.000 Who says it?
02:19:52.000 It's a big breakdown.
02:19:53.000 I'll have to look it up.
02:19:54.000 Petapixel, which is a big... 0.99
02:19:55.000 See, the problem is there's too many fucking... 0.96
02:19:56.000 There's too many different people commenting on it that... 0.99
02:19:59.000 Like me. 0.98
02:20:00.000 Like, I'm muddying the waters myself by not exactly knowing what the fuck I'm talking about. 0.95
02:20:04.000 Well, dude, I mean, that's... 0.86
02:20:05.000 Detailed look at the camera gear behind the historic.
02:20:08.000 What is this?
02:20:08.000 Who wrote this?
02:20:09.000 Petapixel.
02:20:10.000 This is a pretty well-owned photo book. 0.99
02:20:10.000 Oh, this is fucking Shill. 0.99
02:20:12.000 It's a Shill site. 1.00
02:20:12.000 This is CIA front. 1.00
02:20:14.000 Look at the shadows, the lighting.
02:20:16.000 Why is it so well lit?
02:20:18.000 It's in the shadows.
02:20:19.000 Goddammit, there's a guy behind it with one of those big reflector booms. 0.85
02:20:23.000 This is in Nevada.
02:20:25.000 There's a tarp back there.
02:20:27.000 And if you look real close, you could see gum wrappers.
02:20:31.000 Look at all that fake ground.
02:20:34.000 Look at how fake that ground looks.
02:20:35.000 I don't know, man. 0.98
02:20:37.000 Look at that shitty tinfoil on that spaceship. 0.98
02:20:39.000 Yeah, super likely. 0.98
02:20:41.000 That just landed on the moon.
02:20:43.000 It's just more fun.
02:20:44.000 This is why I abandoned the idea that we didn't go to the moon.
02:20:47.000 It's more fun to think that we didn't go to the moon.
02:20:49.000 It's more exciting.
02:20:50.000 So I have to be careful going that way.
02:20:53.000 That's why I changed my opinion on it.
02:20:55.000 Because then I started re-looking at it. 0.99
02:20:56.000 I'm like, what the fuck do you know about space travel? 0.98
02:20:58.000 Almost zero. 1.00
02:20:59.000 But what do you know about bullshit? 1.00
02:21:01.000 I know I'm good at bullshit. 1.00
02:21:02.000 I know about bullshit. 1.00
02:21:03.000 And when I watched that press conference, the post-Apollo 11 press conference, I'm like, someone's bullshit. 0.99
02:21:09.000 Something's weird here. 0.98
02:21:10.000 And I think it's entirely possible that they were forced into accepting some stuff that wasn't real and they kind of knew it.
02:21:19.000 But that they probably did go to the moon.
02:21:21.000 I just don't understand how this is like back and forth in your head.
02:21:25.000 But when I say alien artifacts on the moon, right away, you're like, no. 0.99
02:21:28.000 I don't think they leave shit behind. 0.96
02:21:29.000 I think if they're smart, they clean up. 1.00
02:21:31.000 Have you not seen the...
02:21:34.000 Clean up! 0.99
02:21:35.000 You know, fucking wrecked on the moon. 1.00
02:21:37.000 There's a division of aliens. 0.99
02:21:39.000 There's no evidence.
02:21:39.000 Look, the face on Mars.
02:21:40.000 We've looked at the moon really well.
02:21:42.000 Look at that picture of the spaceship that crashed on the moon.
02:21:45.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:21:46.000 That's real. 1.00
02:21:46.000 You know, that shit looks crazy. 1.00
02:21:48.000 Super real. 1.00
02:21:48.000 I don't even think they use spaceships. 1.00
02:21:49.000 I think they get to a certain point and they just travel through dimensions.
02:21:52.000 I really do.
02:21:53.000 I'm thinking that more and more.
02:21:54.000 I don't think spaceships exist other than, like, the really crude civilizations like ours.
02:21:58.000 Look at this.
02:21:58.000 Look at that thing.
02:21:59.000 Relatively.
02:21:59.000 Oh, that's super real.
02:22:00.000 Which one do you mean?
02:22:01.000 Anyone.
02:22:02.000 The one that looks like it's most drawn with crayon.
02:22:04.000 Look at that! 1.00
02:22:05.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00
02:22:07.000 That's an episode of Star Trek, bro. 0.99
02:22:08.000 That looks like a ship.
02:22:10.000 Look at the eyes of a mountain lion behind it.
02:22:11.000 Come on, man.
02:22:12.000 Where do you see eyes?
02:22:13.000 Look at that! 1.00
02:22:14.000 This is a fucking volcano. 1.00
02:22:15.000 Look, we're just isolating. 1.00
02:22:17.000 Look, that's a fucking topographical map. 0.99
02:22:19.000 That's a ship. 0.99
02:22:20.000 You're isolating a tiny little area and you're choosing to look at it.
02:22:24.000 That's a ship. 0.94
02:22:24.000 How dare you? 0.94
02:22:25.000 You could look at anything in Moab, Utah and decide that that's a spaceship.
02:22:28.000 Look at that!
02:22:30.000 This is why they don't want to go to the moon.
02:22:32.000 It's the ground! 1.00
02:22:33.000 It's the fucking ground! 1.00
02:22:34.000 There's a hole in the ground! 1.00
02:22:35.000 That's a ship! 0.99
02:22:36.000 It's not a ship.
02:22:37.000 And look at that trail!
02:22:38.000 It's like a bobsled trail or something.
02:22:40.000 You know what's interesting? 0.99
02:22:41.000 We look for shit on the moon, or in space in general, and a normal thing in space is fucking amazing. 0.99
02:22:48.000 Like, if we find a microbe on the desert floor, no one gives a shit. 1.00
02:22:52.000 Oh look, it lives in the sand! 0.99
02:22:54.000 It's incredible!
02:22:55.000 Nobody's gonna pay attention.
02:22:56.000 But if you find something in space and you can prove that this thing exists, it was a living organism, a primitive organism that's on Mars.
02:23:03.000 So we know that some life existed on Mars.
02:23:06.000 Right?
02:23:07.000 And then take it another step further. 0.99
02:23:08.000 If you ran into some dude who was jerking off in your apartment building, you just open the wrong door and some dude's in there jerking off and he's screaming at you and he's an old man, he's got a tank top on. 1.00
02:23:18.000 What the fuck? 1.00
02:23:19.000 And you tell your friends, we'd laugh at it. 1.00
02:23:20.000 But if you found that guy on the moon, just some old dude jerking off on the moon, man! 1.00
02:23:26.000 Imagine if that's what we found. 0.96
02:23:28.000 The whole planet would go crazy.
02:23:29.000 We realized that we literally are in a simulation.
02:23:33.000 And this is how we find out. 0.95
02:23:34.000 There's a guy on the moon jerking off. 0.82
02:23:35.000 And he's got boxer shorts on and socks with Crocs. 0.93
02:23:39.000 And he's just sitting there.
02:23:40.000 He's probably knuckles up, right?
02:23:42.000 He's sitting there, hunched back, knuckling up on the moon.
02:23:45.000 He eats dirt.
02:23:46.000 But he's God.
02:23:47.000 Mouthfuls of dirt.
02:23:48.000 That's God.
02:23:48.000 That's how he gets by.
02:23:49.000 That's the creator of the universe. 0.93
02:23:51.000 He's just gone crazy.
02:23:52.000 The creator of the universe went insane. 1.00
02:23:54.000 Now he just jerks off on the moon. 1.00
02:23:56.000 No, it's an old man. 0.99
02:23:57.000 He looks just like an old man. 0.98
02:23:58.000 It's just like the universe is so infinite that there's an infinite number of possibilities that lives can exist.
02:24:03.000 Yeah.
02:24:04.000 I explained this the other day, that the infinite is so vast that literally it's entirely possible there is a Darth Vader somewhere.
02:24:11.000 Like a real, legit Darth Vader who runs the Empire.
02:24:14.000 Like it's a real thing somewhere.
02:24:16.000 That's how many possibilities exist.
02:24:18.000 So if that's the case, why can't there be a possibility on the moon of an old dude who eats dirt and he's got a tank top and spaghetti stains on it, he's knuckling up on the moon.
02:24:28.000 We find him.
02:24:29.000 We have to film him.
02:24:30.000 Front page of the New York Times. 0.98
02:24:31.000 They found an old man jerking off on the moon. 0.97
02:24:33.000 Do you think they tell us? 0.98
02:24:34.000 If they found an old man jerking off on the moon. 0.99
02:24:36.000 If that's what they find. 0.71
02:24:37.000 Space probe lands. 0.99
02:24:39.000 And then right in front of him is like, fucking look at this. 0.99
02:24:41.000 Guy's gray ball hair. 1.00
02:24:43.000 He's squeezing his balls with his left hand. 0.99
02:24:45.000 I'd like to see the press conference. 1.00
02:24:49.000 Half his guts hanging out.
02:24:50.000 Spaghetti stains.
02:24:51.000 How do you get spaghetti stains on his shirt?
02:24:53.000 No one knows.
02:24:54.000 He's eating dirt on the moon.
02:24:56.000 Jerking off on the probes.
02:24:57.000 Now what?
02:24:57.000 Now what are you gonna do?
02:24:59.000 Now what does our civilization do?
02:25:00.000 How do we deal with this?
02:25:01.000 Well, it's the same thing as like this Elon Musk car in space.
02:25:05.000 It's like, you see the image of that car flying through space.
02:25:08.000 You're like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
02:25:09.000 Is this real? 1.00
02:25:10.000 Is this really going on or am I in a goddamn movie? 1.00
02:25:12.000 Right. 0.99
02:25:13.000 Like, what's happening here?
02:25:14.000 Is this guy really spent a hundred million dollars to shoot a car in a space? 0.99
02:25:17.000 What the fuck is this? 0.99
02:25:18.000 He's got a camera on it. 1.00
02:25:20.000 It's broadcasting images of a mannequin. 1.00
02:25:22.000 What the fuck is going on man? 0.99
02:25:24.000 Cascading levels of absurdity. 1.00
02:25:26.000 That's what's happening.
02:25:27.000 We're seeing cascading levels of absurdity and like the more that it the more that Absurdity happens the more normal it seems and that's kind of this is what I've been thinking is like What what the apocalypse really looks like because everybody thinks when you think about the apocalypse when I think about the apocalypse I think of meteors Volcanoes,
02:25:48.000 the classics, you know, the ocean dying, like, just cataclysms, right?
02:25:53.000 Right.
02:25:54.000 But, really, it's like more, like, absurdity starts avalanching into time to the point where things start happening so quickly that we can't even catch up. 0.74
02:26:05.000 Like, now we gotta deal with the fact there's a fucking Tesla infinitely flying through space.
02:26:10.000 Right, what if it slams into a spaceship that's coming to visit us? 0.98
02:26:14.000 That would just suck. 0.99
02:26:15.000 Can you fucking imagine? 1.00
02:26:16.000 Mad luck. 0.99
02:26:17.000 Could you imagine?
02:26:18.000 It was like, the alien overlords are like, they're finally ready, let us visit.
02:26:24.000 And they come in at light speed, and then the moment they re-emerge from light speed, BOOM! That would suck, sir.
02:26:30.000 The Tesla comes through the windshield, hits him right in the face, takes the head off the Emperor. 1.00
02:26:34.000 Yeah, it's just fucked. 0.99
02:26:36.000 Just explosions, just like in Star Wars. 1.00
02:26:38.000 BOOM! BOOM! Boom! 1.00
02:26:40.000 Boom! 0.99
02:26:40.000 Laura Dern is at the wheel holding on. 0.99
02:26:43.000 Turn around!
02:26:45.000 That's what happened in the new Star Wars movie.
02:26:47.000 Spoiler alert.
02:26:48.000 Remember when they hit warp speed?
02:26:49.000 They went right through that one jet or that one spaceship?
02:26:52.000 Yeah.
02:26:52.000 That's probably going to happen.
02:26:54.000 Dude, or it hits a meteor.
02:26:55.000 It hits a meteor that wasn't going to hit Earth and then knocks the trajectory so that it does...
02:27:01.000 Oh my god.
02:27:01.000 Yeah.
02:27:01.000 Oh my god, they didn't even think...
02:27:03.000 Yeah, there is now... 1.00
02:27:04.000 Imagine if Elon Musk kills us all with his stupid fucking car flying through space. 1.00
02:27:08.000 Just his fucking car out there. 1.00
02:27:10.000 Just grazes an asteroid. 1.00
02:27:12.000 Clink!
02:27:13.000 And it just goes...
02:27:14.000 Yeah.
02:27:17.000 Right towards LA. Yeah.
02:27:18.000 We don't know, man.
02:27:20.000 Right.
02:27:20.000 It hits the Laugh Factory.
02:27:22.000 Boom.
02:27:23.000 That's the center. 1.00
02:27:24.000 That's the fucking main place it smashes. 1.00
02:27:26.000 Boom. 1.00
02:27:27.000 Make God laugh.
02:27:28.000 Yeah.
02:27:29.000 It's the site of 18 semis.
02:27:32.000 And it hits the laugh factory.
02:27:33.000 Boom! 0.99
02:27:36.000 No one can hear.
02:27:38.000 No one can hear.
02:27:39.000 It's so loud, everyone's ears explode.
02:27:42.000 If you're nowhere near it, your ears explode.
02:27:45.000 If you live in Kansas, your ears explode from the impact.
02:27:49.000 You're never hearing ever again.
02:27:50.000 Ever.
02:27:51.000 No one within a 5,000 mile radius ever hears again.
02:27:56.000 Boom! 0.99
02:27:58.000 People in the Bahamas, like, what?
02:28:02.000 What?
02:28:03.000 What was that?
02:28:05.000 Yeah.
02:28:05.000 I can't hear you.
02:28:07.000 Yeah.
02:28:07.000 I can't hear you.
02:28:08.000 That's crazy.
02:28:09.000 The earth rings for a million years. 1.00
02:28:12.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.98
02:28:14.000 They said when the earth got hit by that one that hit the Yucatan 65 million years ago, it rang for a million years. 0.99
02:28:21.000 Just a drone?
02:28:23.000 Just like it got cracked like a gong for a million years.
02:28:28.000 Yeah.
02:28:29.000 Dude. 1.00
02:28:30.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.99
02:28:32.000 You ever heard the descriptions of how deep they think that thing was in the earth within the first second of impact? 0.99
02:28:38.000 No.
02:28:39.000 It's something bananas like miles deep into the earth within the first second of impact.
02:28:45.000 That's how big that thing was.
02:28:47.000 Like a Manhattan-sized chunk.
02:28:51.000 Yeah, man, I love that because that's reality.
02:28:54.000 Isn't that funny?
02:28:54.000 That's the funny thing about existing on the planet is because everybody walks around imagining that the world that we're living in is permanent and stable.
02:29:05.000 And not just our world, not just society, but your own life. 0.99
02:29:08.000 Like, people walk around through their own fucking life. 0.98
02:29:11.000 This is the thing I was thinking about, that terrible, it keeps happening, but the Amtrak train crash? 0.99
02:29:16.000 Because it's like, when you think about that You're just going to work.
02:29:21.000 Here's the thing that disturbed me the most, and it's disturbing me a lot lately.
02:29:25.000 This is a real issue.
02:29:27.000 People that were on the left were saying that they were happy that it happened, that God had done something to kill these politicians because there was a lot of right-wing...
02:29:39.000 Oh, yeah.
02:29:40.000 GOP people that were on this Amtrak thing.
02:29:42.000 Could you imagine just saying that?
02:29:45.000 Not only thinking it, but saying it on Twitter. 1.00
02:29:48.000 You're so confident that you're righteous with your desire to have strangers dead in a horrible fucking train accident. 1.00
02:29:57.000 Somebody died in that accident. 1.00
02:29:59.000 And they're like, great, going to heaven.
02:30:01.000 Someone's dad's dead.
02:30:03.000 Someone's mom, maybe.
02:30:04.000 I don't know if it was a male or female that died, but someone's mom, dead.
02:30:08.000 Someone's sister, dead.
02:30:09.000 And you're like, great.
02:30:10.000 Good riddance.
02:30:11.000 God had a plan for them. 1.00
02:30:14.000 Fuck them. 1.00
02:30:15.000 Because they're on the other team. 1.00
02:30:17.000 Yeah, dude, that shit's... 1.00
02:30:18.000 That's terrifying. 1.00
02:30:19.000 That shit's really sad. 0.99
02:30:20.000 But it never used to be the left. 1.00
02:30:22.000 That's what's the scariest thing to me.
02:30:23.000 The left was never advocating violence.
02:30:26.000 They were the exact opposite.
02:30:27.000 During the Vietnam War, they were the hippies.
02:30:30.000 They were the people that wanted to bring the troops home.
02:30:32.000 They're the people that didn't want war.
02:30:33.000 They didn't want violence.
02:30:34.000 They didn't want hate.
02:30:35.000 They denounced hate.
02:30:37.000 Now they're like...
02:30:38.000 They're like talking about violence being the answer to certain political movements, right? 0.99
02:30:45.000 Punch a Nazi.
02:30:46.000 I saw a term on Reddit that I liked a lot called Liberal Baptist.
02:30:51.000 Have you heard of this?
02:30:51.000 No.
02:30:52.000 So basically the idea is like, You know, like in fundamentalism of any sort, really like the idea is when you're saying that you're religious, you're not really interested in another person's soul or saving another person.
02:31:09.000 What you're interested in doing is creating an ethical hierarchy that you can dominate by being at the top of the ethical hierarchy.
02:31:15.000 Right? 0.94
02:31:16.000 So what you're running into with this shit that you're talking about is people who don't really seem so concerned with how society is supposed to be as much as using their refined system that they've come up with, 0.99
02:31:32.000 which is like they call being woke or you know what I mean? 0.99
02:31:35.000 It's like this is crazy.
02:31:37.000 It's hard to even keep up with it.
02:31:38.000 But they use it to try to dominate the people around them by making you scared to speak your mind. 0.67
02:31:46.000 One of the guests on my podcast that I get fucking yelled at more than anybody else for having on, Jordan Peterson.
02:31:54.000 That really pissed a lot of people off that I had him on my podcast.
02:31:57.000 Why?
02:31:59.000 Because they feel they misunderstand him and they think that Jordan Peterson hates transgendered people, I think, or they think that he's like alt-right.
02:32:13.000 They think that he's like some kind of alt-right spokesman.
02:32:16.000 And the truth of the matter is, I don't fully know all of the spectrum of Jordan Peterson's views on things, because it would take me a very long time to do that. 0.97
02:32:27.000 I know he's fucking smart.
02:32:28.000 I know it was really cool for him to come on my podcast, and I know we had a really great conversation that didn't really talk about that stuff. 0.97
02:32:35.000 Right, but it didn't fit the narrative that they want. 0.81
02:32:37.000 The narrative that they want is that he's a hateful person, and that he hates transgender people, and that he's a bigot, and that he's this right-wing, alt-right poster boy. 0.98
02:32:46.000 But it's not real. 0.96
02:32:47.000 The problem is people aren't willing to adjust that. 0.92
02:32:49.000 Once they stand on that stance, once they have that position, that this is, I'm left-wing, this guy's right-wing, he's a pig, he's ruining things, they just make up their mind. 0.89
02:32:57.000 Let me add one thing to this. 0.97
02:33:00.000 Imagine this.
02:33:02.000 Imagine Jordan Peterson and I don't honestly I don't know but just imagine there is a piece of him That doesn't for whatever reason like it.
02:33:11.000 I don't know I'm again. 0.99
02:33:13.000 I'm not saying this isn't I have no I'm not implying it either I'm just saying imagine fucking Jordan Peterson. 0.75
02:33:18.000 I don't know I'm trying to think of some offensive Thing that he just imagine he had some piece of him right that was definitely Politically not correct, right? 0.96
02:33:31.000 Okay. 0.78
02:33:32.000 That doesn't mean that all the other shit he's saying is invalidated by some piece of him, because people are made up of lots of different pieces. 0.97
02:33:41.000 Well, that's basically, in a way, I'm not categorizing Jordan Peterson the way you categorize Descartes, but that's what he was saying. 0.97
02:33:48.000 Right.
02:33:49.000 That with great people, they also have...
02:33:52.000 What was the word he used?
02:33:54.000 Not great sin, but great...
02:33:57.000 What was the word he used?
02:33:58.000 Do you remember the word?
02:33:59.000 The expression he used? 1.00
02:34:00.000 They've got shit. 1.00
02:34:01.000 They've got shit. 1.00
02:34:03.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:34:03.000 Great flaws as well. 1.00
02:34:05.000 Great vices.
02:34:07.000 That's what he said. 0.98
02:34:07.000 This is, to me, where the big fucking problem is, is that people have lost the ability to be nuanced. 0.98
02:34:15.000 And that, to me, is where things are really fucked up right now, which is like, we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater. 0.97
02:34:22.000 And I'm not saying like, oh, let's give a platform to people who have like... 0.93
02:34:25.000 Hate speech.
02:34:26.000 Yeah, but the idea that we have gotten to the point now where just like free-balling and throwing around ideas, just like we've done all over the place here. 0.99
02:34:36.000 I guarantee you when I look at Twitter, there's going to be at least like five people being like, you fucking cuck piece of shit, only because like I'm throwing around ideas, because my hope is through that process, I'm gonna get closer to the truth and I'm gonna be able to look at myself like what you said about the cock The coke boy. 0.99
02:34:56.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
02:34:57.000 I liked it, because you're right, and I like what you did, even though it's comedic, it's funny.
02:35:02.000 You're right, dude. 0.95
02:35:03.000 Why am I giving that guy a hard fucking time? 0.98
02:35:05.000 What is he going to do? 1.00
02:35:05.000 He can't not be born a coke son. 1.00
02:35:07.000 Right.
02:35:08.000 He's like, he can't change his birth.
02:35:09.000 He is who he is.
02:35:10.000 But meanwhile, what is he doing?
02:35:11.000 Is he taking over countries in Africa?
02:35:13.000 No, he's making cute shirts and he's banging a hot woman. 0.99
02:35:15.000 Leave him alone! 1.00
02:35:17.000 But I like having these kinds of interactions with friends because it helps me adjust. 0.99
02:35:23.000 Even though I don't have any real animosity for the Koch brother, from that kind of thing I can look at my own fucking pattern and be like, whoa, shit, yeah, that's something to think about because I could be more compassionate there. 0.75
02:35:33.000 So my point is, What ends up happening and what leads to someone who started off being, you know, who considers themselves part of a group that's trying to stop war, that spawned the hippie movement, and now they're like thankful that a train accident happened. 0.95
02:35:51.000 That is a result. 0.93
02:35:53.000 Of gradually shutting down their ability to understand that a human is much more than just one fucking thing. 0.98
02:36:01.000 Jeff Sessions is not just an anti-marijuana person. 0.99
02:36:05.000 Jeff Sessions is probably an elf and a sweet elf at that.
02:36:09.000 And a person who's got a lot of love in him, and has done a lot of good things for a lot of people. 1.00
02:36:14.000 But also, he's got the worst fucking concept of what marijuana is, and that sucks. 0.99
02:36:20.000 But that doesn't invalidate any of the love he's expressed throughout his life. 0.99
02:36:24.000 And this is unbearable for some people to deal with, because we want a Darth Vader.
02:36:28.000 Well, it's because we are inclined to gravitate towards tribalism.
02:36:34.000 It is a part of being a human being.
02:36:35.000 It's always going to be a part.
02:36:37.000 It's the same reason why those Egyptologists were rejecting these ideas from John Anthony West and Robert Shaw because they weren't a part of the tribe. 0.98
02:36:43.000 These new people coming in with some shit that they didn't figure out on their own. 0.96
02:36:47.000 There's a thing that people do on whether it's male versus female. 1.00
02:36:51.000 You're seeing a lot of this when it comes to this Me Too stuff.
02:36:53.000 One of the weirdest things that happens is that you start getting this divide where the men are mad at the women and the women are the mad at the men.
02:36:59.000 Even people that are non-offenders and non-victims.
02:37:02.000 They shore up on teams.
02:37:04.000 And yes, it's good that people are being exposed for doing bad things to people, but it's also very dangerous for us to just, men and women, be on opposite teams.
02:37:13.000 We're humans.
02:37:14.000 We're supposed to be nice to each other.
02:37:16.000 It goes back to what we were talking about earlier.
02:37:18.000 We don't say that enough.
02:37:20.000 I really don't think we say that enough.
02:37:22.000 I really think we need to, it needs, it should be reinforced. 0.95
02:37:25.000 And it sounds like, oh, it's a fucking great thing. 0.94
02:37:27.000 That's your advice, bro? 0.97
02:37:28.000 Be nice to each other?
02:37:29.000 Yes, it is my advice.
02:37:31.000 It's not my only advice. 0.99
02:37:32.000 I think you should also get your shit together. 1.00
02:37:34.000 I think you should have some fucking discipline. 1.00
02:37:36.000 I think you should eat right. 0.99
02:37:37.000 I think you should do a lot of things.
02:37:38.000 I think you should read books.
02:37:39.000 I think you should pay attention.
02:37:39.000 I think you should try to educate yourself.
02:37:41.000 I think you should try to be aware about objectivity and tribalism, aware of the influence.
02:37:45.000 But I also think...
02:37:46.000 It would be really nice if we all just agreed to be nicer to each other, and just have it as a conversation that the country has, and then ultimately the world has.
02:37:55.000 But that list of things you just gave before that, I think that all fits into the category of being kind to yourself.
02:38:01.000 And I think that the way you're gonna learn to be nice to other people is by learning how to be kinder to yourself.
02:38:06.000 And being kind to yourself means treating your body better.
02:38:10.000 You know, that's loving yourself.
02:38:13.000 And like, this is actually one of the things This guy Jack Kornfield taught me, which I like a lot because I was talking to him about, man, you know, I want to fucking get in shape and like I feel bad because I want to be more in shape and he's like, okay, but the way you're talking about it, you're hating yourself right now.
02:38:30.000 Yeah. 0.87
02:38:30.000 Don't get in shape because you hate who you are. 0.87
02:38:33.000 Right.
02:38:33.000 Get in shape because you love yourself enough to want to feel better.
02:38:37.000 Yeah.
02:38:38.000 Just saying that changes the way I'm looking at it.
02:38:41.000 Yeah.
02:38:41.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:38:42.000 Like you just saying that.
02:38:43.000 I'm like, yeah.
02:38:43.000 Yeah.
02:38:43.000 Right, yeah.
02:38:44.000 Don't hate your body.
02:38:46.000 Love it by getting it healthy.
02:38:48.000 And then by loving your, that's loving yourself.
02:38:50.000 It changes the intention around from like, I'm going to destroy my former self and replace it with a better self.
02:38:55.000 It's like, I'm going to love this being I am right now.
02:38:58.000 And the way I'm going to do that is by, you know what?
02:39:00.000 I don't need to have five beers a night.
02:39:03.000 You know, I don't need to pour the booze into the thing every night as much as I have been.
02:39:07.000 I don't need to smoke cigarettes or whatever the thing is.
02:39:10.000 And that attitude of like, I'm not doing this because I hate myself.
02:39:16.000 It's just, this is different ways for me to express love into my own world.
02:39:20.000 And then from that, it radiates out.
02:39:22.000 That's what you did.
02:39:23.000 I mean, that's what you do.
02:39:24.000 It's like part of what appeals, I think, in you that appeals to people. 0.97
02:39:29.000 Is that you're sort of radiating this, like, way of being that offers a lot of people a sense of like, oh shit, I could probably do that. 0.72
02:39:39.000 I could probably do that. 0.94
02:39:40.000 And it draws people in.
02:39:42.000 So this kindness that you're talking about It's contagious.
02:39:46.000 Yes, it is contagious.
02:39:47.000 And it should be.
02:39:50.000 Cultures operate on the momentum of the people that are in them, right?
02:39:55.000 Nazi Germany is a good example. 0.97
02:39:57.000 So is Denmark.
02:39:58.000 So is Norway. 0.61
02:39:59.000 I mean, it's really interesting cultures that are very different from other cultures.
02:40:02.000 China is very different from Ethiopia. 0.52
02:40:05.000 I mean, we vary widely in the way we behave.
02:40:08.000 And I think there's a bunch of different styles of being a person.
02:40:11.000 And I think the problem is, and this is a problem that I had As a young man, I had an ultra-competitive issue.
02:40:19.000 I was competitive with my friends.
02:40:21.000 I was competitive with other men.
02:40:22.000 I was competitive. 0.99
02:40:23.000 I would shit on people that I didn't know. 1.00
02:40:25.000 Look at this fucking loser. 1.00
02:40:27.000 It's a natural thing that young men go through. 1.00
02:40:30.000 And it took me until I was probably in my early 20s until I realized how toxic that was.
02:40:35.000 And I moved myself out of it.
02:40:38.000 And instead started celebrating people around me.
02:40:41.000 I changed my vibe.
02:40:42.000 That's it.
02:40:42.000 Because I was...
02:40:44.000 Very flawed as a young man, but also super hyper self-critical.
02:40:49.000 So my hyper self-critical...
02:40:50.000 I always wanted to be a better version of myself, and I wouldn't do it the right way.
02:40:56.000 Was it Jack Kornfeld's idea?
02:40:58.000 Jack Kornfield.
02:40:59.000 Jack Kornfield's idea.
02:41:00.000 I didn't do it the right way.
02:41:01.000 I didn't do it his way.
02:41:02.000 I did it the way that a...
02:41:05.000 Barely educated, 21-year-old man who's mostly just read books on combat sports and fighting philosophy and psychology.
02:41:14.000 I had a very limited amount of information in my head, but I realized there were some flaws in the way I was thinking.
02:41:19.000 And I realized I was spending all this energy getting mad at people that I didn't know, hating people that had things that I didn't have.
02:41:26.000 And I was sitting around thinking about this once, and it was as I was becoming more successful.
02:41:46.000 I was still anxious, but less anxiety.
02:41:49.000 Because I was more at peace with being around all these different people. 1.00
02:41:51.000 Instead of like, fuck this guy, who's this fucking guy? 1.00
02:41:53.000 I changed my strategy. 1.00
02:41:55.000 And I changed who I am.
02:41:56.000 And then as I got into comedy, I was alleviated by the actual real threat of competition, which greatly relaxed me.
02:42:03.000 It was a giant weight lifted off my back.
02:42:05.000 But that carried a little bit of that in the early days of stand-up. 1.00
02:42:09.000 I would look at other comedians like, fuck this guy. 0.98
02:42:11.000 I get jealous of guys that were doing well, rather, that were successful. 0.99
02:42:16.000 I got jealous of guys who were funnier than me. 0.97
02:42:18.000 Like, why is he fucking funnier than me? 1.00
02:42:20.000 It was a stupid thought process. 1.00
02:42:23.000 And it took me until I was, you know, like 22, 23. I started realizing, like, I got to snap out of this. 1.00
02:42:28.000 This is unhealthy.
02:42:29.000 I'm wasting this energy where I should be concentrating on positive things.
02:42:33.000 So I started supporting my friends.
02:42:35.000 I started being a more complimentary person.
02:42:37.000 I went out of my way to just be nicer to people.
02:42:41.000 Be nicer to people, not because they could do something for me, just to be nice.
02:42:44.000 It feels good to be nice.
02:42:46.000 And I just slowly cultivated a better philosophy.
02:42:49.000 And it took me a while, man.
02:42:51.000 It took me until I was in my 20s, until I really, like, as I was, like, getting closer to 30 is when I started really getting good at it with comedy.
02:42:58.000 You know, like, bringing comedians on the road, helping people.
02:43:02.000 Yeah, that's right.
02:43:04.000 Fostering other careers, telling kids that were, like, seven years before, you know, behind me.
02:43:09.000 Like, they started out seven years after me.
02:43:12.000 I'm seven years ahead of you.
02:43:13.000 You could do this.
02:43:13.000 Anybody could do this.
02:43:14.000 Just do it just do it and if you fuck up learn from that fuck up get better This is this is the thing that you can do. 0.99
02:43:20.000 You're a funny person, right? 1.00
02:43:22.000 You just all you have to do is just keep doing this.
02:43:23.000 Yeah, and you're gonna you already made it Yeah, you know, this is the so this thing that you're talking about the thing that I that the Ram Dass people teach me which is invaluable and to me and it really inspires you is It's like they talk about Ram Dass's guru,
02:43:39.000 Neem Karoli Baba, and how when he was teaching, he never said, here's what this is going to do for you.
02:43:45.000 He was never like, this is how it's going to help you.
02:43:47.000 He was always saying, here's how this is going to help the people in your life. 0.99
02:43:51.000 And so the moment you make that little shift Where working on yourself, as it's called, is not about doing something so that you can fucking have a fucking six-pack and get laid. 0.99
02:44:04.000 Yeah, bro. 0.99
02:44:04.000 But the moment you start doing... 0.99
02:44:05.000 With a scarf on.
02:44:06.000 And a cowboy ride a horse.
02:44:08.000 By yourself, shaving.
02:44:09.000 Shaving your stomach. 1.00
02:44:10.000 But the moment you start fucking doing this stuff... 0.99
02:44:13.000 Because you know that it's going to directly help the people around you in ways you can't even imagine. 0.99
02:44:21.000 Like, you don't even know yet.
02:44:22.000 Because there's going to be a moment in every single person's life where someone comes up to you who's in a lot of trouble and they need help.
02:44:31.000 And it might not be money.
02:44:33.000 It might just be something you could say to them.
02:44:36.000 It might just be something you need to be lucid in that moment.
02:44:39.000 And because you've been like... 0.93
02:44:41.000 You know not paying attention and you're blurry and you're angry and you're fucking shut down that you're not even gonna see that person right that person is gonna Just be another face in the crowd that you don't even see but that's the whole point is like this practice your practice It ends up helping so many fucking people. 0.60
02:45:02.000 And if you want to get excited about something, at least for me, it's really kind of difficult for me to get super excited over, I don't know, some kind of thing that's going to give me an extra thing. 0.98
02:45:16.000 It's way less exciting than to think that, like, shit, man, if I can be more calm... 0.99
02:45:21.000 And more connected, then the next time I'm around somebody I love and get angry, I'm not going to hurt them because I'm learning how to not react to my own bullshit. 1.00
02:45:33.000 Right. 0.99
02:45:33.000 You know? 0.99
02:45:34.000 You're getting better at life.
02:45:35.000 Yeah.
02:45:36.000 And it's through trial and error.
02:45:37.000 I mean, that is a trial, error, honesty.
02:45:40.000 And you also have to realize that we're not all coming from the same starting block.
02:45:45.000 Some people came from abusive childhoods.
02:45:48.000 Some people came from super supportive and loving childhoods.
02:45:51.000 Some people were spoiled as children.
02:45:52.000 And so they're the people that struggle the most sometimes.
02:45:55.000 You've seen kids that grow up in really rich families.
02:45:59.000 Parents weren't hands-on.
02:46:01.000 They're so disconnected.
02:46:02.000 They feel really weird and titled.
02:46:04.000 And they have a very distorted version of the future.
02:46:07.000 And those people, it's very hard to adjust from a place of bounty to a place of struggle and success and self-realization.
02:46:16.000 It's almost more difficult for some of those people.
02:46:18.000 That's compassion.
02:46:19.000 Me growing up as a person who didn't have money and thinking as when I was a child, my family was on welfare.
02:46:26.000 I still can remember, at least I have, an idea of a memory of us drinking powdered milk.
02:46:32.000 I remember that.
02:46:33.000 I remember being really...
02:46:35.000 Embarrassed if people would come over our house.
02:46:37.000 We had powdered milk.
02:46:38.000 We were poor.
02:46:39.000 And that memory of being a young man, of being a struggling young comedian, doing a bunch of odd jobs, trying to make it, this real hunger and worry.
02:46:51.000 I remember one of the most embarrassing moments of my young life.
02:46:55.000 I had this thing fall out.
02:46:58.000 It was like some management company was interested in me.
02:47:01.000 And they were like a music management company.
02:47:03.000 And they were thinking about branching off into comedians.
02:47:05.000 This guy was talking to me about it.
02:47:07.000 And it was falling apart.
02:47:08.000 And I was driving with my girlfriend.
02:47:10.000 And I was 21. And the whole thing was so frustrating to me that I started crying.
02:47:14.000 Tears rolling.
02:47:15.000 And I remember she looked over me.
02:47:16.000 She's like, are you crying? 1.00
02:47:17.000 I was like, yeah, fuck. 1.00
02:47:19.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:47:19.000 And she's like, ugh. 1.00
02:47:21.000 Like, she was, like, mocking the fact that I was crying.
02:47:25.000 She couldn't help herself.
02:47:26.000 You know, she was same age.
02:47:28.000 We were both, like, 21. We're both kids.
02:47:30.000 You know, and she just thought it was a bitch move. 1.00
02:47:31.000 Just be crying about being frustrated about your career. 0.98
02:47:34.000 And I remember being so embarrassed.
02:47:35.000 Like, why did I let that out to her?
02:47:39.000 Like, why did I let that out in public?
02:47:41.000 This frustration of not knowing where the future lies.
02:47:46.000 But that frustration and that hunger of wanting to figure out a way to get out of this cycle of working shitty jobs and figure out how to do something that I actually love doing, like be a comic. 0.99
02:47:56.000 That burning hunger because you don't have shit. 0.99
02:47:59.000 That's where it all comes from. 1.00
02:48:00.000 When you don't know where the fuck you're gonna pay your rent. 0.98
02:48:02.000 You do not have an escape route. 0.99
02:48:05.000 There's no net. 1.00
02:48:06.000 You've got to figure this fucking thing out, man. 0.99
02:48:08.000 And you're not figuring it out right now. 1.00
02:48:09.000 Right now it's falling apart.
02:48:11.000 Nobody thinks you're any good.
02:48:12.000 You can't get booked. 1.00
02:48:13.000 Like, fuck! 1.00
02:48:14.000 You're trying to figure out what's the next job you're going to get so you can feed yourself while you try to figure out this weird thing that nobody could really tell you how to do. 1.00
02:48:20.000 But going through that struggle, that is everything.
02:48:24.000 But people need to hear that you went through it too.
02:48:27.000 They need to hear that during the dark days where it doesn't seem like it's ever going to work out.
02:48:31.000 Are you alive?
02:48:32.000 Can you see?
02:48:33.000 Can you talk?
02:48:34.000 Can you think?
02:48:35.000 Get better.
02:48:36.000 Get better.
02:48:37.000 Get better at whatever you're doing.
02:48:38.000 Just get better. 1.00
02:48:38.000 So you suck at it now. 1.00
02:48:40.000 Everybody sucks at everything when they first start. 1.00
02:48:42.000 That's the whole thing about getting good at something.
02:48:45.000 But if you love it and you're really honest, don't lie to yourself.
02:48:48.000 Don't lie to yourself.
02:48:49.000 Look at it for what it is.
02:48:50.000 Look at it for what it is and work on it. 0.99
02:48:51.000 Whatever the fuck it is. 0.97
02:48:52.000 Whether it's writing books or making music or composing computer code. 0.99
02:48:58.000 Whatever the fuck you want to do. 1.00
02:49:00.000 If you suck at it. 1.00
02:49:02.000 Get better. 0.99
02:49:03.000 But look at it for what it is.
02:49:04.000 Look at it for really what it is.
02:49:06.000 And that's one of our biggest problems.
02:49:07.000 One of our biggest problems is that people have a really hard time looking at things for what they are if they're not flattering.
02:49:12.000 That's right.
02:49:13.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:49:13.000 They want to think, oh, fuck this guy. 1.00
02:49:15.000 Fuck this guy. 1.00
02:49:15.000 This guy's a pussy. 1.00
02:49:16.000 No, that guy shot a fucking rocket into space with a car on it. 1.00
02:49:22.000 Okay? 1.00
02:49:22.000 And he did it with his mind. 1.00
02:49:23.000 He figured out how to make these calculations.
02:49:25.000 He figured out how to make enough money so he could shoot a car in a space.
02:49:28.000 If you don't respect that...
02:49:30.000 He's digging tunnels under LA. They're letting him dig tunnels.
02:49:33.000 There's an earthquake-ridden area, and this motherfucker's digging holes in the ground. 0.99
02:49:38.000 We're worried about fracking, but we're like, Elon Musk's got it. 0.97
02:49:41.000 He says it's not going to cause an earthquake.
02:49:43.000 It's not going to cause an earthquake.
02:49:44.000 Yeah.
02:49:45.000 We're worried about people fracking. 1.00
02:49:46.000 We're not worried about Elon Musk turning our fucking city into Swiss cheese. 0.99
02:49:50.000 Yeah, but you know, man, the thing is that the guy you're making, you're like creating an image of, the guy's like, fuck Elon Musk or that guy, is real. 1.00
02:50:00.000 That's real. 0.98
02:50:01.000 That's me when I was 21. Right, and you felt like fucking queer and you felt like shit. 1.00
02:50:06.000 That's the important thing. 1.00
02:50:08.000 That's all coming from feeling like shit. 1.00
02:50:12.000 And when you get around somebody who's acting like that, if you've looked into yourself enough to see where you feel like shit, and then you get around somebody and you realize like, oh, this person who's like being a complete fucking cunt to me right now feels like shit. 1.00
02:50:30.000 And this is the... 1.00
02:50:31.000 I went to see the Dalai Lama in Anaheim.
02:50:35.000 Dude, you're partying with Ram Dass, the Dalai Lama.
02:50:37.000 Well, this was like not partying with a... 1.00
02:50:39.000 I would love to party with a fucking Dalai Lama. 1.00
02:50:41.000 I really might nubify my cock if I got a chance to party with a Dalai Lama. 1.00
02:50:46.000 In space forever? 1.00
02:50:47.000 It's another thing to talk about.
02:50:48.000 I'd love to be around that guy, man.
02:50:50.000 Just because when he was so far down in this massive place, this little guy, you could feel the energy rushing off of this guy into the room.
02:50:59.000 Were you tripping?
02:51:02.000 But anyway, the thing that he said that has stuck with me, is he's like...
02:51:09.000 One of the things he says is so simple, and it reminds me of what you're saying now, is he said, you can always be kinder.
02:51:16.000 And then the other thing he said, and it sounds so simple, but really people don't realize that, you can always be kinder in any moment.
02:51:23.000 And then the other thing he said is, if someone's being unkind to you, It's not them being unkind to you.
02:51:29.000 It's an echo, is what he said. 0.98
02:51:31.000 Like, it's literally an echo of the unkindness, people being cruel to them throughout their lives, and that shit is bouncing off of them like sound. 0.99
02:51:41.000 It's bouncing onto you. 0.99
02:51:43.000 And so, when you get around someone who's, like, being a shit, what you're really experiencing is a lot of sorrow from a lot of places you don't know. 0.99
02:51:54.000 And that doesn't mean You're supposed to lay back and let them spit on you or be a shithead to you or whatever, but it also helps you find a little bit of compassion. 0.99
02:52:04.000 That's all. 0.98
02:52:05.000 Just so you can be with that person and let them be what they are without adding more suffering to it, which only compounds the situation.
02:52:16.000 Well, you have to learn how people are responding to that behavior, too, and adjust accordingly.
02:52:22.000 Do the hard work and look at yourself.
02:52:24.000 And when people get super self-indulgent, one of the things they do is they don't think about how other people are experiencing them. 0.99
02:52:30.000 Like, if you're around people like, Fucking worst luck. 0.99
02:52:33.000 Always fucking happens to me. 0.99
02:52:35.000 It's the same thing every day. 0.99
02:52:36.000 I'm at work. 1.00
02:52:38.000 Fucking boss knows it. 1.00
02:52:39.000 It wasn't Mike that put in the work. 1.00
02:52:41.000 I put fucking 65-70% of the work in. 0.98
02:52:45.000 That's it. 0.99
02:52:46.000 Me.
02:52:47.000 I'm bitter.
02:52:48.000 Why did she leave? 0.83
02:52:49.000 Why did she leave? 0.99
02:52:51.000 Yeah, those people are gross. 0.94
02:52:53.000 You're like, I gotta go, man. 0.97
02:52:55.000 I can't.
02:52:55.000 When people start, I go, what should I do?
02:52:57.000 What is the worst thing people do to you?
02:52:59.000 What should I do?
02:53:00.000 What do you think I should do, man?
02:53:01.000 I need some advice.
02:53:01.000 I need some advice.
02:53:02.000 Hey, hey, hey, hey!
02:53:03.000 No, you don't.
02:53:05.000 That's not what's going on.
02:53:06.000 You want me to talk about you.
02:53:07.000 You're making me focus on you 100%.
02:53:10.000 You're not asking me for help. 0.99
02:53:11.000 You're not doing a goddamn thing for yourself. 0.97
02:53:13.000 You're not helping yourself at all. 0.99
02:53:15.000 What you're doing is making me concentrate on you. 0.90
02:53:18.000 Hey, bro, I'm fucking really feeling depressed right now. 0.91
02:53:20.000 Well, do something about it! 0.94
02:53:23.000 I'm not saying don't reach out to your friends, but I'm saying you got to do something too, man.
02:53:27.000 You can't just always talk about your problems. 0.99
02:53:29.000 Man, I fucking talk about my problems. 0.99
02:53:31.000 You don't even want to hear them. 0.99
02:53:32.000 Because that's all you talk about!
02:53:34.000 Is your whole life a problem?
02:53:36.000 Jesus Christ!
02:53:37.000 Maybe that's the way you're thinking.
02:53:38.000 Maybe that's the way you're behaving.
02:53:40.000 Mapped out your life.
02:53:41.000 I'm not saying that you shouldn't be there for your friends when issues arise.
02:53:45.000 Certainly, all of our friends are super supportive. 0.92
02:53:48.000 We've all gone through some weird shit in our lives. 0.88
02:53:50.000 We've all been super supportive. 0.87
02:53:51.000 But if I'm super supportive to you, I know you're super supportive to yourself.
02:53:55.000 I know you're working on yourself, too.
02:53:58.000 You're not just relying on me.
02:53:59.000 Hey, bro, what should I do today?
02:54:00.000 What should I do tomorrow?
02:54:02.000 What do you think?
02:54:02.000 If you could sit down here with me for a few hours and map out my future, I would really appreciate it, man.
02:54:08.000 Because it's just fucking hard out there for me, bro.
02:54:10.000 You got it easy, Duncan. 1.00
02:54:12.000 This is bullshit, dude. 1.00
02:54:13.000 You're fucking, you know, man, you got a good head start. 1.00
02:54:16.000 You're a white guy from North Carolina. 1.00
02:54:18.000 Fuck you, dude. 1.00
02:54:21.000 That's what it is, man. 1.00
02:54:22.000 They just come up with these toxic excuses for why their life is shit without ever looking inward. 1.00
02:54:27.000 And they want you to admit your privilege and admit your fucking advantages, bro. 1.00
02:54:31.000 How about you, Duncan? 0.99
02:54:33.000 How about you fucking admit it was easier for you than it is for me? 1.00
02:54:36.000 My dad's an asshole! 1.00
02:54:39.000 But the question is, because I know exactly what you're talking about, and I know that person, and I know what that is. 1.00
02:54:44.000 Everybody does.
02:54:45.000 But when I run into that...
02:54:49.000 Is there's a part of me that and I like what I know sometimes you just have to put someone You have to like avoid their presence.
02:54:57.000 I thought you're gonna say put them on blast I thought you were going not put them on blast No, because it doesn't work.
02:55:01.000 That doesn't work, but maybe it does for you.
02:55:03.000 I don't know but doesn't but there's a they just get mad at you But right so but there is a thing of like I this is where I might just be fucking naive or crazy Or one took over the line sweet, but I believe That with any body that you're around,
02:55:19.000 if you've cultivated love, like if you can really love them, even in the midst of that cyclone of bullshit that you're talking about, if you could look through the cyclone into their soul, like into what they are that's love and see that and love it,
02:55:35.000 then the cyclone will start calming down a little bit right in front of you.
02:55:39.000 I think it's possible. 0.96
02:55:40.000 I think it's possible that if, and this is why I think it's fucking worth figuring out a way To cultivate this shit that you're talking about, so that when you get around a turd cyclone like that, you become potentially the person who, 0.98
02:55:57.000 not by giving them money or giving them advice, but just by giving them love and letting them be this cyclone of shit for a second and loving it for real, You might be the thing that, just like Musk's fucking Tesla hits the meteor and sends it into Earth, 0.97
02:56:14.000 you might be the thing that dings the meteor of their life and prevents the catastrophe that they were spinning towards. 0.99
02:56:20.000 It's entirely possible.
02:56:21.000 But it's also entirely possible that, like most things in life, you need a lot of various elements.
02:56:27.000 You don't just need one person that you cling to.
02:56:29.000 You need to look at humanity as a whole.
02:56:31.000 You need to seek inspiration in the great work of others.
02:56:33.000 And you need to look at yourself in a way that you think maybe, perhaps, other people look at you.
02:56:38.000 Right.
02:56:38.000 And that is something that a lot of people don't do.
02:56:40.000 And that lack of introspection and self-critical thinking is one of the reasons why people don't change.
02:56:46.000 Right.
02:56:46.000 Because they don't adjust.
02:56:47.000 Right.
02:56:48.000 Like, you're not the guy you were 10 years ago.
02:56:50.000 I've known you for a long time.
02:56:51.000 You're a better version.
02:56:52.000 Thanks.
02:56:53.000 Because you've adjusted.
02:56:54.000 Yeah.
02:56:54.000 I mean, not that you were bad then.
02:56:55.000 I loved you back then.
02:56:56.000 You were awesome.
02:56:57.000 But you're more together, more philosophical, more at ease with yourself person than you were 10, 15 years ago.
02:57:05.000 Yeah.
02:57:05.000 Like when we were living together.
02:57:07.000 We lived together when you were at a down spot.
02:57:10.000 Yeah.
02:57:11.000 You're a totally different human now.
02:57:12.000 Yeah, that is cool.
02:57:13.000 Yeah, and that's the thing, man, because you were like, in those moments when you were like, when we're riding in my fucking Mini Cooper and I'm trying to listen to Elliot Smith and you know I'm depressed, and you're like, dude, what are you listening to? 0.97
02:57:27.000 What the fuck are you listening to? 0.93
02:57:28.000 I'll never forget that. 1.00
02:57:29.000 And I'll tell you, man, in my head, I'm like, what a dick. 0.99
02:57:33.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
02:57:34.000 I was definitely being a dick. 0.98
02:57:35.000 Yeah, but what that was, was like, what you were doing is helping me, like, get out of that vibration that I was in. 0.99
02:57:44.000 You were wallowing in it.
02:57:46.000 Yes! 1.00
02:57:46.000 And I needed, and I didn't, in those moments when you were doing that shit, I was, like, in my head resisting, and I'm like, you know, but that's the other thing. 1.00
02:57:55.000 When you decide to help somebody in that way, you can't expect it's going to happen, their shift or change is going to happen instantaneously. 0.98
02:58:04.000 But because of that, I still, to this day, when I put on Elliott Smith, I think of that moment, man.
02:58:11.000 I still hear your voice in my head going, Duncan, what are you doing?
02:58:17.000 Because...
02:58:18.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
02:58:19.000 Because, and I'll tell you why, man, because sometimes you can listen to Elliot Smith and not be wallowing, and it's just really pretty and sweet, but don't listen to that shit if you're wallowing, because it's like, it's only... 0.99
02:58:31.000 Don't feed the wallow. 0.99
02:58:33.000 Don't feed the wallow.
02:58:34.000 Yeah, don't feed that wallowing spirit inside of you.
02:58:37.000 You don't need to feel that.
02:58:39.000 Everybody experiences loss and everybody experiences bad moments.
02:58:42.000 You're just going to.
02:58:43.000 You're never going to get life perfect, right?
02:58:45.000 So during these bad moments, what you've got to realize is just accept it, feel it, get through it.
02:58:50.000 Realize it's a journey that you're going to get through, but realize that there's better ways to navigate it than some.
02:58:56.000 And some ways are really bad.
02:58:58.000 Heroin's a really bad way to navigate it. 1.00
02:59:00.000 You start doing heroin and start fucking listening to Elliot Smith and go holding a knife over your stomach in the middle of your fucking bedroom going, Fuck it, man! 1.00
02:59:08.000 Fuck it, man! 1.00
02:59:10.000 You can't do that. 1.00
02:59:11.000 You can't do that.
02:59:11.000 Well, you can.
02:59:12.000 You can.
02:59:13.000 But it's not the healthiest way to go that's going to give people around you and you yourself the most joy.
02:59:20.000 It's selfish.
02:59:20.000 It's not necessarily selfish.
02:59:21.000 It's self-indulgent, for sure.
02:59:23.000 I don't necessarily think it's selfish.
02:59:24.000 I think it's a pattern of behavior that you can get trapped in. 0.99
02:59:29.000 And I think we've all been in bad situations where you just feel like shit. 0.99
02:59:33.000 You get in a pattern of behavior and you feel trapped. 0.99
02:59:36.000 Yes.
02:59:36.000 But you've got to learn from other people who have been through those patterns and learn from your own experiences getting through patterns.
02:59:43.000 Yeah, because you will.
02:59:44.000 That's the thing, man. 0.98
02:59:45.000 It's like when you get around someone who's like a teacher figure like you, or you get around someone who's really doing it from love and not trying to fucking fuck with you, because that can happen too. 0.99
02:59:57.000 That's the worst. 0.99
02:59:57.000 Or be superior to you or whatever. 0.99
02:59:59.000 Right, right.
02:59:59.000 Put you down.
03:00:00.000 Yeah, put you down. 0.99
03:00:02.000 When you get around somebody who's doing it out of love, there is such a massive difference in the way that feels.
03:00:12.000 And what they do quite often, or what a lot of my teachers do, which is really fucking cool, because in the same way you've seen me shift, a lot of my teachers from the Ram Dass camp, like in the beginning, When I was actively trying to offend them, because that was what I would try to do. 0.66
03:00:28.000 Just be funny? 0.87
03:00:29.000 Not be funny, because I was thinking, if I can offend these people about the practice they're teaching me, and they're like, hey, you can't say that, or that's blasphemy, or anything like that, then I know to get the fuck out of there. 0.60
03:00:41.000 Because it's like, you know what I mean? 0.87
03:00:42.000 So you were calculated? 1.00
03:00:44.000 Fuck yeah, I was calculated. 0.99
03:00:46.000 With one of my teachers, Ragu, I would like... 0.99
03:00:49.000 His name's Ragu, like the spaghetti sauce?
03:00:50.000 Well, it means a different thing in the... 0.99
03:00:52.000 The fuck it does. 1.00
03:00:52.000 Change your name, bro. 1.00
03:00:53.000 No, it means...
03:00:54.000 Change it.
03:00:55.000 My name's Spaghetti-O's, but listen, bro, don't think about it like that.
03:01:00.000 My master spaghettios taught me. 0.99
03:01:02.000 What the fuck did you say? 0.99
03:01:04.000 He's amazing. 1.00
03:01:06.000 The sauce is tangy.
03:01:08.000 The same way you're doing that with him, I would try to do that with their teachers. 1.00
03:01:13.000 And I would try to do that, too, because I was like, fuck it. 1.00
03:01:17.000 If they get mad at me... 0.99
03:01:18.000 Then I know, if there's a thing where I don't like blasphemy, I don't like the idea I can blaspheme, man, that freaks me the fuck out.
03:01:26.000 But it was like, with Neiman Crowley Baba, you know, they tell me these stories, and I'd be like, you know, I just don't, I just don't really believe that, man. 0.99
03:01:33.000 Like, I don't know if it's, I don't know if I believe that shit. 0.87
03:01:36.000 And Raghu, I still remember saying that, walking in this, at the retreat with him in Hawaii, and he gets a big smile on his face. 0.99
03:01:42.000 He's like, yeah!
03:01:43.000 Yeah, don't blame me for not believing it.
03:01:45.000 It's like, whoa, cool, man! 0.97
03:01:48.000 This is fucking cool!
03:01:49.000 And like, it's that, that's the, so when you get around a real teacher, what I'm saying is, the place that you're at, they let you be there, but they're not like, in the sense that they're letting you do the pattern that you're in, but by allowing that to happen in its own way, 0.95
03:02:07.000 and then adding to it the intention of like, I think I'm going to help you grow here.
03:02:11.000 That's when you really start changing. 0.97
03:02:13.000 Not when someone's like, when you were in the car and listen to Elliot Smith, and you were fucking recognizing in me a lot of sadness and a lot of fucked up-ness, you weren't scolding me, dude. 0.94
03:02:26.000 You were giving me love, but the way you were giving me love Was by making fun of me in this really sweet way. 0.95
03:02:33.000 And it worked!
03:02:34.000 You know what I mean?
03:02:35.000 So that's the thing.
03:02:37.000 That's what a real teacher does. 0.99
03:02:38.000 And that's why it's like, you know, to learn how to get to that spot is one of the most important things you could do.
03:02:45.000 Well, it's also, from a selfish standpoint, when you have a good friend that is all of a sudden looking for a place to live, and then they could live with you, it's cool, it's fun, but it also feels really good to help somebody, and to help somebody that you love and you really care about.
03:03:03.000 So, I mean, I don't even think I thought about it for three seconds.
03:03:07.000 When you called me up and you were in a hotel room, I go, dude, come live with me.
03:03:10.000 It was like instantly, it was like, hey, Duncan's living with me.
03:03:13.000 Instantly, I was like, you got a place to live, dude.
03:03:15.000 You never have to worry about having a place to live.
03:03:18.000 I wanted you to, you know, and also you were, I've had a lot of people that have offered the tank to.
03:03:25.000 Anytime you want, come on by, you can use the tank.
03:03:27.000 You were the only guy who used it on a regular basis. 0.98
03:03:31.000 Like when Tate lived with me, he didn't touch that fucking crazy thing. 1.00
03:03:34.000 He's like, fuck this. 1.00
03:03:36.000 He might have got in there once. 1.00
03:03:37.000 I don't know.
03:03:38.000 But that was not his style at the time.
03:03:41.000 But you were in there all the time. 0.98
03:03:42.000 And you were writing journals and shit when you get out of there. 0.99
03:03:45.000 We would talk about it. 0.98
03:03:46.000 You would talk about your inner voyage.
03:03:48.000 When you'd go in that tank and just think about your life and what you're doing and what happened and what went wrong and where you're headed to. 1.00
03:03:58.000 Just, look, man, the fucking stress of trying to be a professional comic, it fucks you. 1.00
03:04:06.000 You know how I know it fucks you? 1.00
03:04:07.000 Because it fucks me every two years. 0.99
03:04:09.000 Every two years when I abandon my act and put out a special and then have to write a whole new one and I'm goddamn sweating just thinking about it right now. 0.98
03:04:17.000 Like, Tom Segura's going through that right now.
03:04:19.000 Ari's going through that right now. 0.99
03:04:20.000 That's the shedding of all you've got.
03:04:24.000 And then you've got to start from scratch. 0.99
03:04:26.000 It's fucking terrifying again. 0.98
03:04:28.000 It's the thing that makes you keep growing. 0.99
03:04:30.000 It's the thing that makes you keep growing.
03:04:32.000 But when you haven't had any success, like when you were in the beginning of your career and it just hadn't happened yet, you don't really believe it can happen.
03:04:41.000 But once you do have it happen, then you go, oh, I see.
03:04:45.000 You just got to get through that.
03:04:46.000 But dude, the thing you're talking about with the comedy, it applies to everything.
03:04:51.000 Everything.
03:04:53.000 Because what you're talking about, someone was telling me, if a snake...
03:04:58.000 Doesn't successfully shed its skin, it dies.
03:05:04.000 So a person is the same way in the sense that many of us cling to ways that we were thinking that's who we still are when we're not.
03:05:16.000 And you have to learn what parts of yourself to let go of. 0.93
03:05:22.000 And you have to have the guts to fucking let go of it. 0.95
03:05:27.000 That is one of the craziest things when you really have a thing that you've become attached to. 0.99
03:05:34.000 For a lot of people, it's a relationship that sucks.
03:05:36.000 You end up in a bad relationship, bad job.
03:05:40.000 You end up just attached to some version of yourself that you just aren't anymore.
03:05:45.000 That's not who you are.
03:05:46.000 Right.
03:05:47.000 You gotta let go of that.
03:05:48.000 You gotta let go of it.
03:05:49.000 And letting go of it is death.
03:05:52.000 It's a form of death.
03:05:53.000 It feels like death.
03:05:55.000 And so people want to avoid it. 0.76
03:05:57.000 And what ends up happening is you run into people who are just fucking don't even realize that they're valets.
03:06:04.000 They're covered in bags from all these previous, they're hoarders, and they won't let go of all these things, all these ways they used to be.
03:06:13.000 So that's the, what I've learned is that through this act of like scanning the self or looking into the self, you'll find places where you're stuck.
03:06:27.000 Where you're stuck.
03:06:28.000 Like, for example, you were saying, oh, I get jealous.
03:06:30.000 I was getting jealous of these people.
03:06:32.000 I was getting jealous.
03:06:33.000 Well, you were stuck there.
03:06:34.000 That was the place.
03:06:35.000 It wasn't just jealous.
03:06:35.000 It was worse than that.
03:06:36.000 It was toxic.
03:06:38.000 I didn't like them.
03:06:40.000 I was mad at them.
03:06:41.000 Yeah.
03:06:41.000 You were stuck.
03:06:42.000 Yeah.
03:06:43.000 And you were attached.
03:06:44.000 And you were like, and that attachment was making you Unhappy.
03:06:48.000 Miserable.
03:06:48.000 Heavy.
03:06:49.000 Heavy.
03:06:49.000 The feeling is literally...
03:06:51.000 Not just that.
03:06:51.000 Weak.
03:06:52.000 Weak.
03:06:52.000 I felt weak.
03:06:53.000 That was what really bothered me.
03:06:54.000 Because all the energy that's being put...
03:06:56.000 No, no, no.
03:06:57.000 Weak in my judgment of myself.
03:06:59.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:06:59.000 Yeah.
03:07:00.000 Not weak like tired, like didn't have the energy. 1.00
03:07:02.000 Weak like, oh, you bitch. 1.00
03:07:04.000 You bitch. 1.00
03:07:05.000 You're just jealous. 1.00
03:07:06.000 You're jealous.
03:07:07.000 That's you?
03:07:08.000 That's you now?
03:07:09.000 I know, man.
03:07:11.000 And these are like...
03:07:12.000 You know like when... 1.00
03:07:14.000 Fuck, dude. 0.99
03:07:14.000 When you get a really bad muscle spasm, and then you go to a masseuse, and that moment when the thing finally gives way, and you're like, oh my... 0.99
03:07:23.000 That place in your back that hurts so bad suddenly just feels like your back again, and you're like, ah...
03:07:29.000 Well, the same thing happens with suffering.
03:07:33.000 So, the suffering in a lot of people's lives, the repeating suffering, that's a karmic muscle spasm. 0.96
03:07:41.000 And it's like, until you literally push into it, and the same way you get rid of a muscle spasm, it fucking hurts, man!
03:07:48.000 Until you, like, get the blood flow going back into that place and really fucking go deep into, why do I get jealous?
03:07:56.000 You know, for me, the thing I just figured out That's haunted me is just jealousy in relationships.
03:08:02.000 It's like, why do I do this?
03:08:05.000 What is this?
03:08:07.000 This is just like you're saying.
03:08:08.000 It's weak.
03:08:09.000 It's not a good look.
03:08:11.000 I don't like it.
03:08:12.000 And it's indulgent.
03:08:13.000 Like, while you're doing it, you realize it's gross.
03:08:15.000 Yes!
03:08:15.000 And you keep doing it.
03:08:16.000 Yes! 1.00
03:08:16.000 And you're like, oh my god, I'm being a bitch and I'm gonna keep going. 1.00
03:08:18.000 No! 1.00
03:08:19.000 You fucking texted him first! 1.00
03:08:22.000 Yes. 1.00
03:08:23.000 That, Joe.
03:08:24.000 That. 1.00
03:08:24.000 It's so humiliating and so embarrassing and so fucked up and so brutal to the person you're with. 1.00
03:08:30.000 Yeah. 1.00
03:08:31.000 Sad.
03:08:31.000 So, like, that thing...
03:08:33.000 I've figured...
03:08:34.000 I've figured how to let...
03:08:36.000 I want to say let it go.
03:08:37.000 It's the illusion...
03:08:38.000 I'm not putting out there that you can conquer, you know, eternally parts of your identity or whatever, but I've been able to let that go.
03:08:45.000 And that feeling of really being able to let it go...
03:08:50.000 Man, that's, to me, that's one of those monumental things, when you can start dropping these things.
03:08:56.000 And it's different for everybody. 0.98
03:08:57.000 Everybody's got their own fucking muscle spasm. 0.99
03:09:00.000 But you'll know what it is. 1.00
03:09:03.000 You know what any people listening to it right now, you know what it fucking is. 0.98
03:09:06.000 We are incredibly susceptible to patterns. 0.99
03:09:12.000 Incredibly susceptible.
03:09:13.000 And if you have a pattern of weakness and you accept it over and over again, it can define you.
03:09:17.000 And you have to be really careful of that.
03:09:19.000 You got it.
03:09:20.000 Well, yeah. 0.98
03:09:20.000 But what's the beauty of it, though, is the very fucking thing that's hurting you like that, it's also simultaneously the thing that's like your... 0.98
03:09:30.000 It's your fuel for improvement. 0.98
03:09:32.000 Yeah, it's like you're turning your trap.
03:09:34.000 This is such a cheesy thing that I thought.
03:09:36.000 And I'm never going to make it a blog post or anything, so forgive me.
03:09:40.000 But I did think about this.
03:09:41.000 It's turning your trap into a trampoline. 1.00
03:09:44.000 It's like you find this fucking... 1.00
03:09:45.000 Are you of a self-help speaker? 1.00
03:09:47.000 Honey, I am!
03:09:47.000 I can see you right now in a theater with a big screen behind you.
03:09:52.000 It's turning your trap into a trampoline!
03:09:55.000 Now give me your money! 0.99
03:09:57.000 Woo! 0.99
03:09:57.000 I know, that's why I deserve to be made fun of for it and I'm not gonna ever use that in a book or in a blog post or anything but I really do like the concept of like finding the place you're stuck and realizing that that's not a place you should avert your eyes from but in fact more than likely that's a door. 0.99
03:10:14.000 That's a fucking door and you can go through that door into a whole new existence where you're no longer horrified by yourself and that is really exciting. 0.90
03:10:24.000 It's a really fucking wonderful moment. 0.99
03:10:27.000 You know, not just in comedy, but I think in anything. 0.92
03:10:30.000 It's always a powerful thing to improve.
03:10:32.000 That's one of the things that's good about doing things that you're not good at.
03:10:35.000 Is that you get the opportunity to see what happens when you work at something and then you improve.
03:10:41.000 And I think that applies to everything.
03:10:43.000 I think if you learn how to play a game and get really good at a game, I think that figuring things out in your mind how to get good at this game applies to life.
03:10:52.000 You could get caught up in a game where like chess or whatever it is becomes your whole life and then it's almost too much, right?
03:10:59.000 But you could also use things like chess or a lot of different things.
03:11:03.000 People have a heavy prejudice against video games, but it's been absolutely proven that video games can enhance many aspects of the way people think and problem solve.
03:11:12.000 It's been proven.
03:11:13.000 I mean, there's studies that people are doing on it, but we associate video games with wasting time, slacking off, being a loser. 0.98
03:11:23.000 Meanwhile, Jamie, what the fuck were you just telling me the other day about how much money these guys make when they're playing Twitch? 0.98
03:11:29.000 Thousands of dollars a day, if not hundreds of thousands a month. 1.00
03:11:32.000 Hundreds of thousands of dollars a month playing fucking video games. 1.00
03:11:36.000 How is being a lawyer better than that, you fucking asshole? 1.00
03:11:39.000 Is it about making money? 1.00
03:11:40.000 What is it about? 1.00
03:11:41.000 Because these Twitch guys got you beat, fuckface. 1.00
03:11:44.000 You're out there just making people get divorced and raking in the cash. 1.00
03:11:48.000 This guy's shooting aliens on Twitch, and he's making way more! 1.00
03:11:53.000 You're a loser! 1.00
03:11:54.000 He's flying private! 1.00
03:11:58.000 He's got Gucci shoes!
03:11:59.000 He's got a diamond-crusted Rolex, and he plays video games.
03:12:03.000 Do you understand how crazy that is?
03:12:05.000 You're over there working on family law.
03:12:07.000 Do you watch Twitch?
03:12:08.000 No.
03:12:09.000 See, that's the thing, man.
03:12:10.000 I'm a grown man.
03:12:11.000 I have things to do, bro.
03:12:12.000 Oh my god. 0.96
03:12:13.000 The hypocrisy! 0.91
03:12:14.000 I play a lot of games, man.
03:12:16.000 I only have so much time.
03:12:17.000 I play pool.
03:12:18.000 I shoot archery.
03:12:19.000 I do jiu-jitsu.
03:12:21.000 Dude, first of all, you gotta watch Twitch just for the sake of the podcast.
03:12:24.000 I definitely don't.
03:12:24.000 Thanks, though.
03:12:25.000 Just so you know for the podcast.
03:12:26.000 You don't have to, but you need to look so that you can see how, one, how it sounds when you hear about it.
03:12:33.000 I remember when I first heard about it.
03:12:34.000 I'm like, that, there's no...
03:12:35.000 I've seen Mighty Mouse do it.
03:12:36.000 It's really entertaining.
03:12:37.000 Yeah.
03:12:38.000 And it's really funny.
03:12:39.000 And it's like when you're looking at like the community that forms around these people and like, then you realize like, man, there really is something really soothing and addictive about watching this.
03:12:51.000 Dude, have you seen that Twitch guy who trolls people in, uh, what's it called?
03:12:55.000 MySpace?
03:12:56.000 What's that world where...
03:12:58.000 What?
03:12:59.000 No, no.
03:12:59.000 It's like...
03:13:00.000 Not VRChat. 0.99
03:13:01.000 This dude goes into different video games, playing a character, and trolls people inside the games, and it's some of the funniest fucking shit you've ever seen. 0.99
03:13:13.000 Like, he goes into... 0.99
03:13:13.000 What's Second Life? 0.99
03:13:14.000 He goes into Second Life, somehow makes it into an enclave of people playing the part of bikers in there, and he goes in there, and they're acting like bikers, so they're like, how'd you get in here?
03:13:29.000 And he's like, I don't know.
03:13:29.000 I'm just, you know, I'm here.
03:13:30.000 He has this very calm voice.
03:13:32.000 They're like, you need to get out of here.
03:13:34.000 And he's like, you know, I'll come.
03:13:36.000 I'm going to go, but I'll be back tomorrow.
03:13:38.000 And they're like, no, you will not be back here tomorrow.
03:13:41.000 You are not coming back.
03:13:42.000 This is our place.
03:13:43.000 Are you allowed to show that?
03:13:44.000 Can you show that?
03:13:45.000 I was looking up Second Life isn't allowed on Twitch for some reason.
03:13:48.000 But this, it's a streamer.
03:13:50.000 Look up Second Life.
03:13:52.000 This is our place.
03:13:53.000 I don't know if you'll even be able to find it.
03:13:55.000 This is our place. 0.99
03:13:56.000 Dude, it is the funniest shit ever. 0.99
03:13:58.000 So this is a video that he recorded and then he put it online so people can watch it? 0.99
03:14:01.000 Yeah, and he trolls shit tons of people this way, man. 0.91
03:14:04.000 If you find it, dude... 0.97
03:14:06.000 I love it.
03:14:06.000 I found a video that says Extreme Angry Rager for hilarious trolling.
03:14:12.000 Is that probably it?
03:14:13.000 Second Life Griefing is what it says.
03:14:14.000 Can I see it?
03:14:15.000 Yeah.
03:14:16.000 I'll know what it is right away.
03:14:18.000 No, that's him.
03:14:20.000 I think it's probably him, but go back and look up.
03:14:22.000 This is our place, Biker Second Life Troll. 1.00
03:14:25.000 Maybe someone on Twitter can help us find it, because it's like a pretty famous troll video. 1.00
03:14:30.000 But it's like the funniest fucking shit, man. 1.00
03:14:33.000 Like, I've watched it a million times. 1.00
03:14:34.000 I'm looking on Twitter right now to see.
03:14:36.000 Was there ever trolling before the internet?
03:14:40.000 Is this it?
03:14:41.000 Dude, I think that's it, man.
03:14:43.000 Second Life.
03:14:47.000 Is that it?
03:14:52.000 It's one of them...
03:14:54.000 What's the one...
03:14:56.000 So she's talking?
03:14:58.000 Yeah, but this is a different one.
03:14:59.000 What's the one in the...
03:15:00.000 Yeah, that's his second life.
03:15:04.000 Hold on, what's that one? 1.00
03:15:05.000 Are you gonna come to a fucking MC? Motorcycle Club? 0.99
03:15:07.000 He's using the abbreviation.
03:15:09.000 Let me tell you something, Story.
03:15:10.000 I am famous.
03:15:12.000 I have a reputation that precedes me.
03:15:14.000 You can go anywhere, and you can mention my name, and they will tell you exactly who I am.
03:15:20.000 I am famous.
03:15:21.000 You know why?
03:15:22.000 Because haters make me famous, and people that can't be like me...
03:15:26.000 That's not him.
03:15:28.000 This is amazing, though.
03:15:29.000 What's the one in the lower, in the first suggestion right there?
03:15:32.000 I was hooked.
03:15:32.000 I was hooked already.
03:15:34.000 Anyway, the point is, dude, watching video games is a fucking blast. 0.94
03:15:39.000 I wish I could find... 0.97
03:15:40.000 It is.
03:15:40.000 It's weird.
03:15:40.000 Look, watching games is a blast.
03:15:42.000 I like watching...
03:15:43.000 That's that guy, the...
03:15:44.000 Doctor Disrespect.
03:15:45.000 Yeah.
03:15:49.000 There's a lot of things that's interesting.
03:15:51.000 I like watching people play pool.
03:15:52.000 I do.
03:15:53.000 I don't even play golf, and I like watching people play golf.
03:15:56.000 Because they're talking, what should I do?
03:15:57.000 What should I do?
03:15:58.000 You think he's going to make it? 1.00
03:15:59.000 I think he's going to fuck up. 1.00
03:16:00.000 Look at him, he's sweating. 1.00
03:16:02.000 It's fun.
03:16:04.000 The thing about video games is you can do it from the first person.
03:16:07.000 You can look at it from their perspective. 0.98
03:16:08.000 Yeah, and it's fucking crazy to watch, man. 0.96
03:16:11.000 I went to the BlizzCon. 0.96
03:16:14.000 You know, Blizzard has BlizzCon.
03:16:16.000 I was lucky enough to get in there, man, and I got to watch eSports.
03:16:22.000 I got to watch people playing StarCraft in an auditorium, and it was awesome. 0.76
03:16:29.000 And the energy in there was so fucking intense.
03:16:32.000 How many people were there? 0.95
03:16:33.000 I don't know, hundreds, hundreds. 0.99
03:16:35.000 It was like shit-tons, man. 0.97
03:16:37.000 These were like famous players, dude. 0.99
03:16:39.000 These are like world-renowned Korean fucking StarCraft masters. 0.90
03:16:44.000 And if you know anything about StarCraft and you see what they're doing, it's incredible. 0.99
03:16:50.000 And it's just like, you know, the applause, the fucking, like, people are like, yeah! 0.98
03:16:54.000 Yes! 0.99
03:16:55.000 Well, it's super complex.
03:16:56.000 It's so fun to watch.
03:16:57.000 But that's what I'm talking about with these people that have these prejudices about video games.
03:17:01.000 Video games, especially like StarCraft, they are super complex.
03:17:05.000 They require multi-level thinking.
03:17:07.000 Oh, yeah.
03:17:08.000 Oh, yeah.
03:17:08.000 You can't just play StarCraft.
03:17:11.000 Not against those guys.
03:17:12.000 I mean, I've seen you play it before, too, and I'm like, what are you doing? 0.95
03:17:15.000 You're moving shit around. 0.91
03:17:16.000 I'm like, what are you doing? 0.98
03:17:16.000 Like, oh, I'm setting this up, and this is for later. 0.98
03:17:18.000 I'm like, what?
03:17:19.000 I know.
03:17:19.000 Like, what is this?
03:17:20.000 I tried to return to it.
03:17:22.000 Talk about, like...
03:17:24.000 Feeling old.
03:17:25.000 Go back to try to play StarCraft after a couple of expansions have come out, and you're just like, I can't... 1.00
03:17:30.000 What the fuck, man? 0.99
03:17:32.000 You have to learn. 1.00
03:17:33.000 You don't have that kind of time. 0.99
03:17:34.000 I don't have that kind of time to, like, learn how to do fucking Zerg rushes again. 0.98
03:17:39.000 See, I liked... 0.99
03:17:40.000 Oh my god!
03:17:41.000 This is at, like, the O2 Arena, it looks like.
03:17:43.000 Opening ceremonies in Seoul for 2014 League of Legends.
03:17:47.000 Oh my god, it's a football stadium.
03:17:49.000 Yeah.
03:17:50.000 It's like a giant soccer stadium.
03:17:52.000 So badass.
03:17:52.000 Oh my god, it's filled with people.
03:17:55.000 That's like 50,000 people there.
03:17:57.000 Yeah.
03:17:57.000 That's cool, man.
03:17:59.000 That's insane.
03:18:00.000 It's so big in Korea, huh? 1.00
03:18:03.000 Holy shit, dude. 1.00
03:18:04.000 Look at all those people. 1.00
03:18:05.000 Look at the size of the place, too.
03:18:08.000 Why hasn't that caught on like that here?
03:18:10.000 There's an Overwatch League they just started this week or this month that's in Burbank at like the old Johnny Carson Theater. 0.99
03:18:17.000 No shit! 0.99
03:18:17.000 That's cool. 0.99
03:18:18.000 Dude, when I was addicted to Quake, I would watch demos all the time from this guy named Thresh.
03:18:25.000 See if you could find Thresh Quake.
03:18:27.000 There was this kid...
03:18:29.000 God, I wish I remember his name.
03:18:31.000 I think his last name was Fong.
03:18:33.000 Dennis Fong.
03:18:33.000 There it is.
03:18:33.000 Dennis Fong.
03:18:34.000 He was the best.
03:18:36.000 And while he was playing before he retired, he was the best.
03:18:38.000 He was so good that people would watch his demos and try to emulate his moves.
03:18:44.000 And what he would do is he would figure out a map absolutely perfectly.
03:18:47.000 So he'd have these one-on-one duels.
03:18:49.000 And this is another thing that's surprisingly complex, is playing duels.
03:18:54.000 This is Quake 1 that we're looking at here.
03:18:56.000 Oh, no, it's not.
03:18:57.000 It looks like Quake 3. Hold on.
03:18:58.000 It's a Quake 1 tournament.
03:18:59.000 Is it?
03:18:59.000 Yeah.
03:19:00.000 Oh, is it a new version of it?
03:19:01.000 Oh, no, it's definitely Quake 1. Okay.
03:19:03.000 So, because you see the shotgun shells and shit like that, there's all different stuff. 0.93
03:19:06.000 There's rocket launchers. 0.93
03:19:08.000 Yeah.
03:19:08.000 This didn't have a rail gun.
03:19:10.000 The rail gun changed a lot of shit in Quake 2. But the point being that you would have these strategies, because you had a map, and it would all be about controlling the respawns.
03:19:19.000 So all of the items, whether it's a rocket launcher or a shotgun or whatever the fuck it is that you're picking up, And the ammo, all of it would respawn as well as the health.
03:19:28.000 So it was all about controlling where the respawn is, keeping your health up really high, and then making sure your opponent never gets any good weapons.
03:19:36.000 And so they would, it was really strategic, and they'd chase each other around the map. 0.95
03:19:40.000 This one dude just fucked everybody up. 0.87
03:19:43.000 I mean, and he lost a couple times too when he was, you know, starting out, but he eventually got to a point where he was like the Michael, like right there, boom, he sees that guy, boom, jacks him. 0.97
03:19:52.000 He knows where you're going.
03:19:54.000 He's firing rockets down hallways.
03:19:56.000 He anticipates you're going to be going down.
03:19:58.000 And when you would watch these guys play, you see like right there, that guy was there and he's just waiting for him.
03:20:03.000 Boom! 0.99
03:20:04.000 Boom! 0.99
03:20:05.000 And he just killed that dude.
03:20:07.000 And I would watch these guys in these demos and try to learn from like how they were maneuvering.
03:20:12.000 There's another guy called Fatality.
03:20:14.000 He was really good at it.
03:20:16.000 And there was different games that guys would play, too.
03:20:18.000 There was this game, and some guys went over to Unreal, and they played Unreal Tournament.
03:20:22.000 I remember Unreal.
03:20:23.000 He's got the armor.
03:20:24.000 Every time it respawns, he's going to be running back there to get that armor.
03:20:27.000 Running back there to get the shotgun shells, making sure that his opponent doesn't have a rocket, and you just keep killing him. 0.85
03:20:32.000 And then when he respawns, you chase him down, kill him again, or weaken him. 0.99
03:20:36.000 These are fucking really complex, multi-level games. 0.98
03:20:40.000 You have to think in advance, and you have to plan things out, and guys would even have timed things that they would put in a program so that it would show on their screen. 0.98
03:20:50.000 Rocket launcher respawning in 10 seconds, 9, 8, and then run after.
03:20:55.000 Yeah, yeah.
03:20:56.000 It's crazy how when this came out, it was so badass.
03:21:00.000 And now it looks so ancient.
03:21:02.000 It looks weird.
03:21:03.000 But go to Quake...
03:21:04.000 What is the Quake 4 one?
03:21:06.000 What is the new Quake one?
03:21:07.000 Quake Tournament?
03:21:08.000 What is it?
03:21:08.000 Quake Champions?
03:21:10.000 I think it's called Quake Champions.
03:21:11.000 There's one you can play online now.
03:21:14.000 I think it's called Quake Champions.
03:21:17.000 Oh, it came out last year? 1.00
03:21:19.000 Now watch this shit. 1.00
03:21:21.000 Arena. 1.00
03:21:22.000 That's what it is.
03:21:23.000 Quake Champions Arena.
03:21:25.000 Is that it? 0.99
03:21:25.000 But look at the fucking graphics now. 0.99
03:21:27.000 But it's the same kind of concept. 0.99
03:21:29.000 Right.
03:21:30.000 So, you know, this guy is playing a one-on-one against someone, and there's these crazy maps.
03:21:36.000 This looks badass.
03:21:37.000 Amazing.
03:21:38.000 When was the last time you played Quake?
03:21:40.000 Forever, dude.
03:21:40.000 I'm terrified.
03:21:41.000 You gotta get back in there.
03:21:42.000 No!
03:21:43.000 Daddy's got problems.
03:21:45.000 Ha ha! 0.87
03:21:47.000 I'm too crazy, dude.
03:21:48.000 I'm telling you, I can't do this. 1.00
03:21:50.000 I used to play this shit for eight, ten hours a day. 1.00
03:21:52.000 I told you I got a T1 line installed in my fucking house. 1.00
03:21:56.000 The way you're looking at it is so fucking funny, dude. 1.00
03:21:58.000 Look how I just nailed him with a railgun. 0.98
03:22:00.000 Yeah, I had a real problem.
03:22:02.000 So, I prefer archery and a bunch of other things that I get addicted to, but I could easily get addicted to this again.
03:22:11.000 Easily.
03:22:11.000 It is so fun.
03:22:13.000 It looks super fun. 0.98
03:22:14.000 I suck at shooters, though. 0.98
03:22:15.000 But you don't. 0.99
03:22:16.000 You just don't play them.
03:22:17.000 Listen, if we decided to do that, would you come and play it here?
03:22:20.000 Yeah, of course.
03:22:20.000 What we're thinking about doing is we have a conference room that I'm thinking about turning into a LAN party room.
03:22:26.000 Oh, cool.
03:22:27.000 And have it set up.
03:22:28.000 We'll set up Quake games and then maybe we host a server and let a certain amount of people online.
03:22:34.000 Yeah.
03:22:35.000 And then we could have what you call deathmatch. 1.00
03:22:36.000 I'll come and play.
03:22:37.000 Deathmatch is like you have ten people on a map and they're all just going crazy. 1.00
03:22:40.000 And you respawn with all your shit. 0.99
03:22:42.000 Dude, let's do that. 1.00
03:22:43.000 Let's do it.
03:22:43.000 But what about, why don't we pick up a new one like this?
03:22:46.000 This fucking game. 0.99
03:22:47.000 You can do a hundred people in this game. 1.00
03:22:49.000 It's called Battlegrounds or something.
03:22:50.000 Player Unknown's Battlegrounds, yeah.
03:22:52.000 Yeah, man.
03:22:52.000 This game looks badass.
03:22:53.000 I don't want real physics.
03:22:55.000 I don't want to move around like I move around in real life.
03:22:57.000 That's the thing about Quake is you move way quicker than you do in real life.
03:22:59.000 It's like...
03:23:01.000 You're bouncing and jumping and you're hitting trampolines and flying through the air.
03:23:04.000 Oh no, man.
03:23:04.000 This game looks pretty cool.
03:23:06.000 If you're queer... 0.97
03:23:09.000 It's like hunting people. 0.98
03:23:10.000 That's why I think you'd like it.
03:23:11.000 Yeah, you're hunting people.
03:23:13.000 I'm not into hunting people, bro.
03:23:15.000 I'm into hunting aliens that can move faster than people with rocket launcher.
03:23:18.000 Dude, and by the way, what about Hearthstone, Joe?
03:23:21.000 Why don't you start playing Hearthstone?
03:23:22.000 Oh, you want me to cast spells like you?
03:23:24.000 Do we have to be naked?
03:23:25.000 You might like Overwatch then, because that's a little bit more...
03:23:27.000 Yeah, Overwatch is...
03:23:30.000 That's a third-person thing.
03:23:31.000 No, no, no.
03:23:31.000 This is what I was explaining, the Overwatch League.
03:23:34.000 This is the viewing of it, so they have special ways you can view it.
03:23:38.000 But I like watching things through someone's eyes.
03:23:40.000 Oh, there you go. 0.98
03:23:41.000 Overwatch is fun as fuck, dude. 0.98
03:23:44.000 This looks great. 0.99
03:23:45.000 This is team-based.
03:23:46.000 We should have an Overwatch League. 0.94
03:23:48.000 I suck at it.
03:23:49.000 You know who's good at it is Pemberton. 0.98
03:23:50.000 You can get Pemberton in our League.
03:23:52.000 Just look at them.
03:23:53.000 So, is this something that you play with a PC? Yeah.
03:23:56.000 Or is this an...
03:23:57.000 Okay, I don't play Xbox.
03:23:58.000 Actually, this one's on all of them.
03:23:58.000 This one's on all of them, but PC games.
03:23:59.000 I can't play Xbox games.
03:24:00.000 Once you play with a mouse and a keyboard, that controller is just so whack.
03:24:04.000 They're supposed to be making an update soon, so you can do that, actually.
03:24:07.000 A mouse and keyboard on an Xbox.
03:24:09.000 Oh, well, that's what they should do.
03:24:10.000 How's it taking so long to do that?
03:24:12.000 Blizzard is such...
03:24:13.000 They're so badass.
03:24:14.000 But they were working on that years ago.
03:24:16.000 Yeah.
03:24:16.000 There's still a thing, like, Xbox has said recently they would allow people to play against people on PlayStation's network.
03:24:21.000 Yeah.
03:24:22.000 But Sony doesn't want to play friends with them.
03:24:24.000 Oh. 0.98
03:24:25.000 That sucks. 0.97
03:24:26.000 Well, see, the thing about computers is when you have a mouse and a keyboard, you just have so much more precision. 0.97
03:24:32.000 Guys get really good, and they also have, like, auto-aiming that keeps you in the box when you're using those.
03:24:38.000 They've made it a little bit better so those little hand controllers are more accurate than they used to be.
03:24:43.000 But man, it ain't the same.
03:24:45.000 When you have a mouse and keyboard, like, if you watch that guy, Google Fatality, and the I in Fatality was a number one.
03:24:53.000 This guy would hit people with a railgun in the middle of the air so often, it was almost like he was psychic. 0.90
03:25:00.000 Crazy. 0.78
03:25:00.000 When you'd watch him play, and you'd watch through his eyes, and you'd realize how bad you are at the game. 0.78
03:25:05.000 And that was part of the reason why I got so addictive.
03:25:07.000 He made it to number one on that new game I was talking about.
03:25:09.000 He did?
03:25:10.000 Yeah, that's what his Twitch channel says right here.
03:25:12.000 His last stream was him playing.
03:25:13.000 Yeah, that's him. 0.86
03:25:13.000 He's a savage. 0.86
03:25:14.000 I met that kid in Vegas. 0.93
03:25:15.000 Very nice guy.
03:25:16.000 He's not a kid anymore.
03:25:17.000 I'm sure he's deep in his 30s now.
03:25:19.000 I think.
03:25:21.000 This is a long-ass time ago that he was running Quake, unless he was six.
03:25:24.000 There he is.
03:25:25.000 He's a dad.
03:25:25.000 He's got a dad bod.
03:25:27.000 Got a fucking golf shirt on. 1.00
03:25:29.000 Just dropped his kids off. 1.00
03:25:30.000 Out there fucking out people online. 0.99
03:25:32.000 I love it, man. 0.97
03:25:33.000 This is such a better future than I predicted when I was a kid.
03:25:36.000 I never imagined that we would be able to watch people play video games.
03:25:41.000 You could make a career out of playing.
03:25:43.000 Not just a career, but make more in a month than lawyers make in a year.
03:25:47.000 It's wild.
03:25:48.000 These people are all painting and playing music and stuff.
03:25:51.000 Alright, we're going to do it.
03:25:52.000 And we're going to also do Pool on it, right? 0.99
03:25:55.000 We're going to set that shit up. 0.99
03:25:56.000 We've got plans. 1.00
03:25:57.000 Techno Hunt.
03:25:58.000 We did this Techno Hunt thing.
03:26:00.000 Have you seen the Techno Hunt game yet?
03:26:01.000 Only are you posting it on Insta.
03:26:03.000 Oh, yeah.
03:26:04.000 I want to check it out.
03:26:05.000 We have a thing live.
03:26:07.000 There's 40,000 people watching.
03:26:08.000 And we're shooting arrows at this screen.
03:26:11.000 And then it's been downloaded like 300,000 times in the first 24 hours.
03:26:15.000 What's the ETA on this, man?
03:26:16.000 Like, when are you going to fully turn this into like a video gaming compound?
03:26:20.000 It's pretty close.
03:26:21.000 We're closing in on it.
03:26:22.000 We're closing in on it.
03:26:23.000 But the Technohunt thing, what's fascinating about that is you use a regular bow.
03:26:27.000 So it's like real world practice.
03:26:29.000 Right.
03:26:29.000 A compound bow.
03:26:31.000 Yeah, like a real compound bow.
03:26:33.000 Yeah.
03:26:33.000 You're not supposed to use a powerful one.
03:26:35.000 You're supposed to keep it down to 70 pounds.
03:26:37.000 You can't jack it up like mine is jacked up to 84 pounds.
03:26:40.000 But I tried the 84 pound one and it didn't break it.
03:26:43.000 So we'll see.
03:26:45.000 I'm excited, man.
03:26:46.000 I love this compound.
03:26:48.000 It's crazy, right?
03:26:48.000 It's badass.
03:26:49.000 Yeah.
03:26:49.000 I can't wait to see what you do with it.
03:26:51.000 It's like you're just barely growing it right now, right?
03:26:54.000 Well, any suggestions you have, man.
03:26:55.000 And if you want to do something here, we can do anything you want.
03:26:58.000 If you have an idea.
03:26:59.000 I like the video game idea, man.
03:27:01.000 Let's do it.
03:27:02.000 I love the idea of having some kind of Twitch laboratory here.
03:27:04.000 It's pretty cool.
03:27:05.000 Yeah, that's exciting.
03:27:07.000 Let's do it.
03:27:07.000 So, you heard it, folks.
03:27:09.000 Duncan Trussell's in for the Twitch League. 0.97
03:27:13.000 I suck at these games, though. 0.95
03:27:15.000 My kids are going to go, Daddy, come home. 0.99
03:27:17.000 Daddy, why do you play games?
03:27:19.000 Duncan Trussell, ladies and gentlemen, you can follow him and his antics on Twitter or Instagram, but you don't use Facebook, do you?
03:27:25.000 No.
03:27:25.000 There you go.
03:27:27.000 Duncan Trussell Family Hour, one of the best podcasts in the world.
03:27:29.000 Thanks, Joe.
03:27:30.000 I recommend you listen to the one with Dr. Chris Ryan.
03:27:33.000 It was a really good one, the last one you guys did together.
03:27:34.000 You listened to that?
03:27:35.000 Yeah, I did.
03:27:35.000 Don't tell me that.
03:27:36.000 I'm going to get nervous when I do my podcast, man.
03:27:39.000 Come on, bro.
03:27:39.000 Come on, bro.
03:27:40.000 Young Jamie.
03:27:41.000 Go to youngjamie.com and get your round earth shill t-shirts.
03:27:44.000 Are they back?
03:27:45.000 Do you have them restocked?
03:27:46.000 They're not restocked. 0.99
03:27:47.000 God damn it! 0.99
03:27:48.000 I want one of those. 1.00
03:27:48.000 You sell out so fast. 1.00
03:27:49.000 I got one for you.
03:27:50.000 But you have powerful shirts in stock, right?
03:27:52.000 There are.
03:27:52.000 There's a couple of those left.
03:27:53.000 A couple of hoodies left. 1.00
03:27:54.000 Yeah, they go quick, bitch. 1.00
03:27:56.000 They go quick. 1.00
03:27:56.000 Alright, folks. 1.00
03:27:57.000 We'll be back tomorrow with Phil Demers, formerly of Marine World.
03:28:01.000 And we're going to have some fun.
03:28:03.000 Bye!
03:28:04.000 Bye!