The Joe Rogan Experience - July 03, 2020


Joe Rogan Experience #1502 - Russell Peters

Topics
LA tent city teaching martial arts Hoist Gracie Mighty Mouse fights Jack Johnson movie Jack Johnson virtual reality simulations tattoos Texas movies summer school microdosing legalization mushrooms psychedelic experience description monkey tape mafia cum in his mouth mouth guard Onnit workouts and Jiu-Jitsu twister metal mixtape being alone memes packed club saliva test Iron Neck exercise red light holland microdosing
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Russell Peters
Mentioned
Eddie The Russell Peters Show Jamie Foxx Eddie Murphy John Heffron Mike Bundrant Bill Burt Podcast Andrew Schultz Jack Johnson Dave Bert Kreischer Mighty Mouse Charlie Brian Callen Sturgill Simpson Robin Williams Jesus Christ Joey Diaz John Jock Dude and 130 more
Joe Rogan Experience #1501 - James Lindsay Joe Rogan Experience #1503 - Josh Barnett

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 28 minutes

Words per minute

206.62

Word count

30,718

Sentence count

4,290

Harmful content

Misogyny

66

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,011

sentences flagged

Hate speech

66

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the new laws that are being passed in LA that are making it hard for people to go out in the sun without getting sick. We also talk about how to deal with the growing homeless population in California and how to keep them safe from the sun in the summertime. We also discuss the new law that was passed by the Supreme Court that makes it illegal to drink alcohol on the beaches. And finally, we answer your burning questions. If you like the show, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and other podcasting platforms. We appreciate your support and look forward to seeing you in the next episode! Cheers, Joe & Rory Music by Jeff Kaale ( ) Art: Mackenzie Moore ( ) Music: Hayden Coplen ( ) Editor: Will Witwer ( ) Editing: Ben Kuklinski ( ) Special thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster Energy Drink Co. Co. ( ) and the people who helped make this podcast possible. Logo by Courtney DeKorte ( ) Logo by Riley Braydon Hill ( ) Art: Jeff Kaal ( ) Photography by Brian Callen ( ) Additional music by Haley Shaw ( ) Thank you, Joseph ( ) for the music we used for the intro and outro music ( ) by John Rocha ( ) Thanks to and by ( ) , & , , and . for the work of our sponsors ( ) ( ) & , & ( ), and our thanks to , ( ) is a tribute to our good friend, . . . ( . , ) and , , and ( ) . & our thanks , etc. . ) is a little bit in the music by , our thanks, on the music is by . ( ) in this episode ( ) by our ad music is ) by our sponsor ( ) on this episode is , we hope you like it ( ) so we can be heard on this week's cover art by our music is so beautiful so much so that we can help us out in this week s , the rest of the podcast is and we hope they get a chance to help us make it better next week ( ) to make us feel like this episode better

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:02.000 Russell!
00:00:02.000 Joseph!
00:00:03.000 My man!
00:00:03.000 Oh, we're live.
00:00:04.000 We're live.
00:00:05.000 We're sort of live.
00:00:06.000 Hello, brother.
00:00:07.000 Always good to see you, my friend.
00:00:08.000 You too, thanks.
00:00:09.000 It's been a while.
00:00:10.000 Midday drinking, I like it.
00:00:11.000 Sometimes you need it.
00:00:12.000 I had a steak for breakfast.
00:00:14.000 I saw you post something about that. 1.00
00:00:16.000 Yeah, I was like, fuck it. 0.99
00:00:18.000 I don't want to eat breakfast food today. 1.00
00:00:19.000 I want to eat a steak.
00:00:20.000 What kind of steak?
00:00:21.000 I got it from Evan Funke, who's the head chef of Felix, and they were preparing to reopen.
00:00:27.000 Felix is my favorite restaurant in Venice.
00:00:30.000 Have you ever been?
00:00:30.000 No, I've not.
00:00:31.000 Phenomenal.
00:00:32.000 Brian Callen turned me on to it.
00:00:34.000 Okay.
00:00:36.000 And they came in, him and the owner, Janet, came in to do a podcast and they gave me some steaks.
00:00:42.000 So I cooked one of them today.
00:00:44.000 What kind of cup was it?
00:00:45.000 It's a T-bone, fat, big, thick T-bone.
00:00:47.000 They were about to reopen and now they got shut down again.
00:00:51.000 Do they not have a patio they can open?
00:00:53.000 I don't believe they do and I don't even think you're allowed to do that now.
00:00:56.000 No, I think you're allowed to patio still.
00:00:59.000 You're just not allowed to eat indoors, as far as I go.
00:01:02.000 Well, that's good.
00:01:02.000 I went to the deli by my house yesterday, and I went, can I sit inside?
00:01:07.000 And they were like, no, it's not allowed anymore.
00:01:08.000 I go, oh.
00:01:09.000 So I had to sit on the patio, but it was fine.
00:01:11.000 They were going to do something at the comedy store where they were going to serve chicken fingers and just food and allow people to drink.
00:01:17.000 Yes.
00:01:17.000 And just start opening it as a restaurant only.
00:01:21.000 Yeah, I saw that and I guess it's not happening now?
00:01:23.000 No, they shut it down because right when they were about to do it, then LA shut down the restaurants. 0.99
00:01:27.000 It's so shitty. 0.99
00:01:28.000 Well, it's real shitty, man. 0.99
00:01:30.000 It's real shitty. 0.98
00:01:32.000 And what's extra shitty about it is You know, they were almost out of the woods. 0.98
00:01:37.000 They were right about to reopen again. 0.63
00:01:38.000 Yeah.
00:01:39.000 Because the uptick.
00:01:41.000 Yeah.
00:01:41.000 California spiked harder than everyone else almost.
00:01:43.000 Yeah.
00:01:44.000 It's like Texas, California.
00:01:45.000 A lot of protesters.
00:01:46.000 And then Florida.
00:01:48.000 Yeah, it was a lot of protesting.
00:01:49.000 Yeah.
00:01:49.000 And people want to pretend it's not the protesting.
00:01:51.000 I'm 100% for the protesting.
00:01:52.000 Don't get me wrong.
00:01:53.000 But I'm also 100% for freedom!
00:01:56.000 America!
00:01:56.000 I'll tell you what, boy.
00:01:58.000 Yeah, I mean, look, it's just natural, man.
00:02:00.000 You get a few sick people, and you get 10,000 people, 50,000 people huddled together, people are going to get sick.
00:02:07.000 Yeah, and they're that close yelling at each other.
00:02:09.000 Yelling.
00:02:10.000 Literally yelling.
00:02:10.000 Screaming, so it's spits flying.
00:02:12.000 Apparently, particularly at night times when it spreads because Brett Weinstein, who's a biologist who's on the podcast, sent me a paper that said that there's a recent study that shows that COVID-19 dies almost instantly when it hits sunlight.
00:02:28.000 Yeah, that's why it's ridiculous they closed the beaches.
00:02:30.000 Yeah.
00:02:31.000 That's where you should want everybody.
00:02:33.000 Right.
00:02:33.000 Just stay away from each other.
00:02:34.000 Just stay socially distanced.
00:02:36.000 Out in the sun, killing COVID. Right.
00:02:37.000 Wear your mask when you're getting up and leaving, and then when you're sitting down, stay away from everybody, and everybody will be fine.
00:02:43.000 It's not rocket science.
00:02:45.000 The problem is that people are not going to listen, you know? 0.99
00:02:47.000 Yeah, but I mean, still, I mean, fucking, you got a much better chance of it dying out there by the beach. 0.99
00:02:52.000 Yes. 0.99
00:02:53.000 And, you know, Fourth of July weekend, they did it.
00:02:55.000 It's only going to rile people up further.
00:02:58.000 Yes, yes, yes.
00:03:00.000 I mean, I'm really worried about this state.
00:03:03.000 I really am.
00:03:05.000 The state of California or the state of the country?
00:03:07.000 Well, the state of the country, for sure.
00:03:08.000 But California, in particular, because there's so many cases.
00:03:12.000 And then the homeless population.
00:03:13.000 Have you ever been by Brentwood lately?
00:03:16.000 Have they moved them all there now? 0.99
00:03:18.000 They got a fucking tent village set up there. 0.99
00:03:20.000 Jimmy, see if you can find photos of that. 0.99
00:03:22.000 They used to have them under the bridges here in the valley.
00:03:24.000 My friend Matt was talking about it.
00:03:26.000 He works down there, and he was telling me how insane it is.
00:03:30.000 He's like, they're never going to leave this.
00:03:32.000 They have it set up now or they have like a community.
00:03:35.000 Yeah.
00:03:35.000 And then you have to stay socially distant inside the tent community and a bunch of people don't want to follow the rules.
00:03:40.000 So they're outside the tent community.
00:03:41.000 So you have fences.
00:03:43.000 So you have the people inside the tent community that are set up with, you know, six foot distance.
00:03:47.000 It's basically an HOA under the bridge now.
00:03:49.000 Yeah.
00:03:49.000 Well, it's not under the bridge.
00:03:51.000 They're using the veterans something or another, the VA. They have some large yard.
00:03:57.000 Right.
00:03:57.000 And then outside of the fence, they have the people that are rule breakers.
00:04:00.000 So they set up their tents just outside. 1.00
00:04:02.000 They're like, fuck you, pussies. 1.00
00:04:03.000 We're over here making out. 1.00
00:04:05.000 Like, they don't want to have any rules.
00:04:07.000 They don't want to deal with the socially distanced.
00:04:09.000 If you're inside the tents that they've set up and created for you, you have to follow the rules.
00:04:13.000 So the ones that are following the rules are probably the homeless people that just, you know, Took a bad turn financially, and then the other ones that are acting up, probably the drug ones.
00:04:21.000 LA is getting a government-run tent city.
00:04:24.000 All it took was 40 years and a pandemic.
00:04:26.000 But they're saying that like it's a good thing.
00:04:29.000 Yeah, like, finally!
00:04:31.000 Yeah, that's what they're saying.
00:04:32.000 But, you know, this is going to, first of all, this is going to crush property values.
00:04:35.000 This is in Brentwood.
00:04:37.000 Not that property values are the most important thing, don't get me wrong, but they're an important thing.
00:04:42.000 Especially in that neighborhood.
00:04:43.000 Yeah, that's a very valuable neighborhood.
00:04:44.000 And if someone has invested all their money into their home, and they're hoping to sell their home, and then all of a sudden the home values drop radically because nobody wants to live right next door to a tent city. 1.00
00:04:55.000 See if there's any photos of that fucking thing. 0.97
00:04:58.000 Because the photos are pretty dramatic. 0.99
00:05:00.000 Maybe they're trying to hide it because they're trying to make it...
00:05:02.000 You know, that's one of the things, man.
00:05:04.000 Everybody's sugarcoating everything out here. 0.99
00:05:06.000 There's sugarcoating, and then there's the fucking overreactors. 0.99
00:05:12.000 It's a very insane time. 1.00
00:05:14.000 Yeah.
00:05:14.000 You know why people overreact, though?
00:05:16.000 It's because...
00:05:18.000 It's not the same for everybody.
00:05:20.000 I have a friend who got COVID. He's 37. He was clear of it in three days.
00:05:26.000 In three days. 1.00
00:05:26.000 He felt like shit. 1.00
00:05:27.000 He couldn't smell. 1.00
00:05:28.000 He couldn't taste.
00:05:29.000 Three days later, he was on Z-Pak and something else and just stayed home and he got vitamin IVs every day.
00:05:35.000 And then three days later, he's going on a 25-mile bike ride.
00:05:39.000 Three days!
00:05:39.000 Three days, he's fine.
00:05:40.000 I don't know if it's a good idea to go on that bike ride, by the way.
00:05:42.000 Yeah.
00:05:42.000 But I want to see what happens, so I'm not saying anything.
00:05:45.000 I hope he wears a mask.
00:05:47.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:05:47.000 I want to see if it makes him feel like shit if he goes on the bike ride or if he feels great. 0.99
00:05:51.000 I was talking to DL, because, you know, he just got diagnosed. 0.99
00:05:53.000 Yeah, I saw.
00:05:54.000 That was really scary.
00:05:55.000 And he was like, no, I got nothing.
00:05:58.000 He's fine?
00:05:58.000 Yeah.
00:05:59.000 He said I've felt nothing the entire time.
00:06:01.000 Well, he coughed a little today.
00:06:03.000 He had a video, a little bit of video.
00:06:04.000 He was hilarious.
00:06:05.000 He's like, oh, my Colvis is acting up.
00:06:07.000 Yeah, yeah, I saw that.
00:06:08.000 It's because he probably smoked a joint right before that.
00:06:10.000 Probably, right?
00:06:12.000 But it was scary watching him just slump into unconsciousness on stage. 0.99
00:06:15.000 And whoever that guy is that caught him, that guy's a fucking hero. 0.98
00:06:19.000 That's his road manager, I think. 0.99
00:06:20.000 Well, his road manager is a fucking hero, because if D.L. fell, he would have smashed his head on that stage, and you got real problems then. 0.99
00:06:27.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:06:27.000 Because he was just sitting there, and he slurred his words, and the audience was like, what the fuck did you just say? 0.99
00:06:33.000 Like, they couldn't understand what he said. 0.98
00:06:34.000 You saw the video?
00:06:35.000 I did not see the video.
00:06:36.000 Let's see if we can find it.
00:06:38.000 I only just found out there was a video of it like two nights ago because Cedric was at my house. 0.98
00:06:42.000 DL is a fucking great guy. 0.97
00:06:44.000 He's a great guy. 1.00
00:06:45.000 He's a great guy.
00:06:46.000 I used to open for him, you know that? 1.00
00:06:47.000 No, shit. 1.00
00:06:48.000 23 years ago. 1.00
00:06:49.000 He's smart as fuck, too. 0.99
00:06:50.000 He's a really smart guy, but a really good guy, too. 0.99
00:06:52.000 Yeah, really good guy.
00:06:54.000 Really honest and open-minded.
00:06:57.000 I think the...
00:06:59.000 A lot of the...
00:07:00.000 Here it is, right here.
00:07:01.000 So he's on stage, and I guess his road manager fellow, that guy right there, gives him a drink of water.
00:07:09.000 He puts the water down, and this doesn't have any volume, unfortunately.
00:07:14.000 There it goes.
00:07:15.000 Here it goes.
00:07:32.000 Right, everybody's like, what?
00:07:34.000 See, now what?
00:07:35.000 You hear that?
00:07:36.000 What?
00:07:36.000 But now watch.
00:07:37.000 He just slowly starts slumping. 1.00
00:07:40.000 Look, that guy, that road manager is a fucking hero. 0.99
00:07:44.000 Because that guy was there. 0.99
00:07:45.000 Look, his head still hit the bone, yeah.
00:07:47.000 A little bit.
00:07:50.000 What I was worried was a stroke.
00:07:52.000 Because sometimes that happens to people. 1.00
00:07:54.000 But first of all, the way they drag him off the fucking stage, like, hey guys, one of you pussies actually carry him? 0.99
00:07:59.000 They didn't even let him finish his set, though. 0.99
00:08:01.000 They're dragging him, though, bouncing off the...
00:08:02.000 I know, they didn't let him finish his set.
00:08:04.000 Just throw some water on him. 0.96
00:08:05.000 We're comics, we can get through this.
00:08:10.000 They said, like, we have everything okay.
00:08:11.000 And they were like, yeah, right, you don't have nothing under control.
00:08:14.000 Yeah, nothing's under control. 0.86
00:08:15.000 Joe Rogan meets a crazy stripper.
00:08:17.000 This is not how bad.
00:08:19.000 The real scary thing was the slurring of the words.
00:08:22.000 Yeah.
00:08:23.000 He was at my house about less than a month before that happened.
00:08:27.000 One night on May 30th, I had them over with cigars in the backyard, socially distancing.
00:08:34.000 Of course.
00:08:35.000 It was me, Cedric, DL, Jay Phillips, Dwayne Martin, and we're just hanging out and having drinks.
00:08:41.000 You like cigars?
00:08:41.000 You want a cigar right now?
00:08:43.000 Midday cigar. 1.00
00:08:44.000 Fuck it. 1.00
00:08:44.000 Let's go. 1.00
00:08:44.000 Fuck it. 1.00
00:08:46.000 Fuck it. 1.00
00:08:47.000 I'll do a midday cigar and a little midday bourbon. 1.00
00:08:51.000 Mike Binder gave me these.
00:08:53.000 He came over when he was doing that...
00:08:54.000 Oh, in the documentary?
00:08:56.000 Nice.
00:08:56.000 I like Mike.
00:08:57.000 He's a good guy.
00:08:58.000 He's a good guy.
00:08:59.000 The documentary looks really good, man.
00:09:01.000 Yeah, I went to the store and did it.
00:09:03.000 Oh, did you?
00:09:03.000 Yeah.
00:09:03.000 That's probably the best place for it.
00:09:05.000 Yeah, it's good because it gives the energy of the room, you know?
00:09:08.000 Yeah.
00:09:08.000 He wanted to do it here, though.
00:09:10.000 He wanted to get he and I talking about it.
00:09:14.000 Here we go, fella.
00:09:15.000 Take that.
00:09:16.000 Take that, take that, take that.
00:09:18.000 This is an interesting one.
00:09:19.000 Look at that.
00:09:20.000 This is from Benchmade Knives. 1.00
00:09:23.000 You get the coolest shit sent to you, dude. 0.99
00:09:25.000 Look at that. 1.00
00:09:25.000 Like a guillotine? 1.00
00:09:27.000 It's my move.
00:09:28.000 It's my move.
00:09:29.000 Is that your move?
00:09:30.000 That's my move now.
00:09:30.000 Really?
00:09:31.000 It's a good move.
00:09:31.000 You know, because of you, my other move is the in-arm choke.
00:09:35.000 Mmm.
00:09:36.000 Head and arm choke? 0.99
00:09:37.000 Yeah.
00:09:37.000 And so whenever I get it, or I get in position for it, Sean Jack will be like, Joe Hogan choke!
00:09:44.000 The Joe Hogan choke!
00:09:46.000 That's hilarious. 0.99
00:09:48.000 Yeah, that choke fucked my neck up. 0.98
00:09:50.000 I was using my neck so much to squeeze against dude's arms. 0.96
00:09:53.000 Oh, because you flatten out and do that?
00:09:55.000 Yeah, but you're actually using your neck rather to hold someone's arm into place.
00:10:01.000 Mmm.
00:10:08.000 So, it's nice to hear that you've been training, man.
00:10:11.000 Yeah.
00:10:12.000 It's nice to have been training.
00:10:14.000 Is it legal now?
00:10:15.000 They're going to arrest you for training?
00:10:16.000 What happens?
00:10:18.000 It became legal, and then I don't know if it's still legal.
00:10:21.000 But I was doing it with Jay Zabellos and Mark Armstrong, whom you both know, I would imagine.
00:10:27.000 Oh, yeah.
00:10:28.000 Jay's great.
00:10:28.000 Jay used to run the Malibu place.
00:10:30.000 I was going over there for a while.
00:10:32.000 It was a really easy drive.
00:10:35.000 He's a super nice guy, too.
00:10:38.000 Really slick on the ground, too.
00:10:40.000 High level black belt.
00:10:44.000 Real technical, too.
00:10:46.000 Those guys that teach, there's something to be said about teaching.
00:10:49.000 I've often wondered whether or not that would actually translate to comedy as well.
00:10:53.000 Because teaching martial arts makes you way better at it.
00:10:57.000 When I got really good at Taekwondo, one of the ways I got really good was I was teaching all the time.
00:11:01.000 And there's something about that teaching all the time.
00:11:03.000 Because you end up breaking it down.
00:11:05.000 Yes, yeah.
00:11:06.000 My friend Brent, he was one of Eddie Bravo's teachers, one of his instructors.
00:11:11.000 And he...
00:11:12.000 When I first started rolling with him, we were both like purple belts together.
00:11:18.000 And then he started teaching.
00:11:20.000 He quit his job and started teaching.
00:11:22.000 And when he started teaching, he jumped up, like, huge!
00:11:26.000 Like, he had made this...
00:11:27.000 Like, before, we used to...
00:11:29.000 I don't remember how we used to go, but it was close. 0.98
00:11:33.000 But then once he started teaching, man, he became fucking super dangerous, man.
00:11:37.000 I remember it was like a way harder role. 0.99
00:11:39.000 I was like, holy shit, man, this is amazing. 0.94
00:11:42.000 And it was really just for teaching. 0.99
00:11:44.000 Yeah, my game changed.
00:11:46.000 Training with Mark and Jay every day for like a month and a half. 0.99
00:11:51.000 Like my game completely changed from, I used to just, you know, you rolled with me last year, so, and I always tell people what a fucking gorilla you are. 0.98
00:11:59.000 People, how's it like rolling with Joe Rogan? 0.99
00:12:01.000 I go, you ever rolled with a gorilla? 1.00
00:12:03.000 That's what it's like, rolling with a fucking gorilla. 1.00
00:12:05.000 Well, it's not fair. 1.00
00:12:06.000 I've been doing it a long time.
00:12:07.000 No, I know.
00:12:08.000 Yeah, so my game was always just defend, you know.
00:12:12.000 Just defend, make sure you don't get got.
00:12:14.000 I wasn't going to get you, but you weren't going to get me.
00:12:16.000 Mind you, you got me.
00:12:19.000 So that's what my game became after that as well.
00:12:21.000 And then it just changed.
00:12:23.000 Something happened and I became from defensive to offensive now.
00:12:26.000 Yeah, well, once you catch a few people.
00:12:28.000 Yeah.
00:12:28.000 You know, the real secret is drilling.
00:12:30.000 And that's the thing that people don't enjoy doing.
00:12:32.000 People really enjoy rolling.
00:12:34.000 They really enjoy sparring because it's so fun.
00:12:36.000 Eddie Bravo explained that to me once a long time ago.
00:12:38.000 He's like, everybody loves to spar because it's so fun, but they don't work enough time, spend enough time, rather, on really developing new moves.
00:12:45.000 But if you spend enough time on developing new moves, then the sparring becomes so much better.
00:12:49.000 But you just have to be disciplined to do the drilling.
00:12:51.000 Right.
00:12:52.000 I do get bored doing drills.
00:12:53.000 It's boring.
00:12:54.000 Yeah.
00:12:54.000 10 this way, 10 that way.
00:12:56.000 But if you do it, and you do it with sincerity, you have to do it like almost think about it like you're actually pulling it off.
00:13:05.000 Because a lot of times guys go through the motions with drills, and they don't think of it as something that they are really doing.
00:13:11.000 They're just kind of like, oh yeah, this is how I do it.
00:13:14.000 But they don't think they're actually applying the choke.
00:13:16.000 But if you could think of it as like, this is really happening.
00:13:19.000 I'm really passing the guard.
00:13:20.000 I'm going knee on belly.
00:13:21.000 They buck.
00:13:22.000 I take the back.
00:13:23.000 I get the choke.
00:13:24.000 I sink it in.
00:13:24.000 They tap.
00:13:25.000 And then you do it again.
00:13:26.000 And you do it again.
00:13:27.000 And you do it again.
00:13:27.000 And then one day, you'll be sparring.
00:13:29.000 And in that sparring, the same thing will happen.
00:13:31.000 You'll pass the guard.
00:13:32.000 The person will move.
00:13:33.000 You go knee to belly.
00:13:34.000 They'll go to their back.
00:13:35.000 You take the choke.
00:13:36.000 And it's like, when that stuff happens, it's so satisfying.
00:13:39.000 You learn.
00:13:40.000 I made the biggest leap from blue belt to purple belt.
00:13:43.000 And that was because I was hanging out with Eddie, and we were drilling a lot.
00:13:47.000 He was maniacal about it.
00:13:48.000 You guys started at the same time?
00:13:50.000 No, he was way ahead of me.
00:13:51.000 He was really good before I started.
00:13:54.000 He was a really good purple belt when I first met him.
00:13:57.000 Maybe, yeah, like purple.
00:13:59.000 Yeah, right around purple.
00:14:00.000 And then when he went off to, in 2003, when he went to Sao Paulo, he was a brown belt.
00:14:05.000 He was really good, though.
00:14:06.000 And that's when he...
00:14:07.000 And then he tapped Hoyler, and then when he came back, Sean Jock gave him his black belt.
00:14:11.000 He gave him his own black belt.
00:14:12.000 He did.
00:14:13.000 He took it right off his back.
00:14:14.000 Yeah.
00:14:15.000 Well, he tapped two world champions.
00:14:16.000 He tapped Gustavo Dantes in the first fight, and then he tapped Hoyler Gracie. 0.99
00:14:21.000 It was crazy shit. 0.99
00:14:22.000 And then I heard Hoist chased him down in the parking lot or something. 1.00
00:14:25.000 No, that was a different time.
00:14:26.000 That was a different event.
00:14:27.000 That was the second time he had a matchup with Hoyler.
00:14:31.000 But he was never disrespectful to Hoyler.
00:14:35.000 It's just sometimes people get things twisted and then you don't see each other in real life.
00:14:40.000 If you talk to Eddie Bravo about Hoist Gracie, it was never anything but respect.
00:14:44.000 Hoist is a cop now.
00:14:46.000 Hoist became a cop.
00:14:47.000 He's actually a cop?
00:14:47.000 He's a cop in Idaho.
00:14:49.000 What?
00:14:50.000 Yeah, go to the real Hoist Gracie. 1.00
00:14:52.000 I thought he lived in California. 0.98
00:14:53.000 Well, you can shoot people in Idaho. 0.95
00:14:56.000 I don't know, man. 0.97
00:14:58.000 I mean, he's a real...
00:14:59.000 Did he not want a lot of action?
00:15:01.000 I don't know.
00:15:02.000 He's a very...
00:15:02.000 He's a gun enthusiast.
00:15:04.000 I follow him on Instagram.
00:15:06.000 There's a lot of gun stuff.
00:15:07.000 And I'm like, I never really understood the connection.
00:15:09.000 I'm like, a lot of the fighter guys that I... A lot of fighter people that I follow are all into guns.
00:15:15.000 And I'm like...
00:15:16.000 Some sort of survivalist mentality, I would imagine.
00:15:18.000 Our newest reserve police officer spent hours in the rain going through training drills and completing the Idaho post-firearms qualification. 0.99
00:15:26.000 Hoist, motherfucking Gracie. 1.00
00:15:28.000 That's so weird. 0.99
00:15:29.000 If there's a Mount Rushmore of martial arts, there's only one face that is absolutely on there, and that's that guy. 0.97
00:15:36.000 There's not a fucking doubt in my mind that guy's face needs to be out. 0.92
00:15:40.000 And Martin Short, too, in the middle, apparently. 0.99
00:15:43.000 They really can't be a Mount Rushmore of martial arts because there's not enough heads.
00:15:49.000 Even if you had a Mount Rushmore of MMA, how are you only going to have four heads?
00:15:55.000 There's a lot of people that came in and changed the game.
00:15:57.000 Yeah, there's too many people.
00:15:59.000 You have to have GSP. Have to.
00:16:02.000 You have to.
00:16:03.000 Two-division world champion, dominated the welterweights, revolutionized the way people think about athletes training for MMA. When he was at the peak of his championship skills, he was unstoppable, man.
00:16:17.000 When he beat John Fitch, when he smashed BJ Penn, like, those days...
00:16:21.000 And then he came back after retirement and beat Bisping.
00:16:24.000 Then beat Bisping at 85 and put him to sleep with a rear naked choke. 0.75
00:16:27.000 He actually was better.
00:16:28.000 He actually looked better after four years out.
00:16:30.000 It's a long time away, too.
00:16:32.000 It's not like a month off.
00:16:33.000 Yeah, he's Mount Rushmore for sure.
00:16:35.000 Mighty Mouse has to be Mount Rushmore.
00:16:37.000 You know, people forgot.
00:16:38.000 You forgot.
00:16:40.000 But you watch those Mighty Mouse fights back when Mighty Mouse beat Cejudo for the first time, when he beat, I mean, fucking the Ray Borg one when he threw him to the air and caught him in an arm bar on the way down. 0.50
00:16:52.000 I remember that. 0.99
00:16:53.000 Goddamn, dude. 0.99
00:16:54.000 That was crazy, though. 0.98
00:16:55.000 Mighty Mouse, when he was in his peak, was something really special.
00:16:59.000 I have a friend of mine who trains with Mighty Mouse.
00:17:01.000 It's an Indian kid who fights. 1.00
00:17:04.000 A saint lion.
00:17:05.000 Is he fighting for 1FC? Yeah.
00:17:07.000 Yeah, 1FC's amazing, man.
00:17:09.000 Gur Darshan.
00:17:10.000 Yeah, they have some really tough fighters over there, and Mighty Mouse is still stomping them.
00:17:15.000 Yeah, I'm hearing that 1 might try and start up by the fall out here in America.
00:17:20.000 Really?
00:17:21.000 In America?
00:17:22.000 Good luck.
00:17:23.000 That's what I said.
00:17:24.000 I said it doesn't make sense.
00:17:25.000 You might as well stick to Singapore.
00:17:26.000 Yeah, Singapore, they're huge.
00:17:28.000 Are they allowed to do shows right now?
00:17:31.000 I don't know, but I think the rest of the world's opening up, but they're not letting Americans in. 0.99
00:17:35.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:17:36.000 Well, it makes sense.
00:17:37.000 What did we do?
00:17:40.000 How did we fuck this up?
00:17:41.000 It's funny, because America was the one that was stopping everybody from coming in. 1.00
00:17:45.000 Now the rest of the world's like, hey, hey, wait there for a second, you fuckers. 1.00
00:17:48.000 What do you think it is? 1.00
00:17:48.000 Is it that so many Americans are overweight? 1.00
00:17:50.000 Is it the protests?
00:17:54.000 It's that blind...
00:17:57.000 Entitlement.
00:17:57.000 As a Canadian, I could tell you this.
00:17:58.000 There seems to be like a blind entitlement with a lot of Americans where they...
00:18:02.000 I'm American.
00:18:05.000 I can do whatever I want.
00:18:06.000 I'm like, yeah, you can.
00:18:07.000 But can you just listen to a little bit of reason for a minute?
00:18:11.000 Here's why this is happening.
00:18:13.000 I'm like, no, you're invading my rights.
00:18:15.000 And I'm like, I get that.
00:18:17.000 We're all frustrated with it.
00:18:19.000 I'm with you on this.
00:18:20.000 But for the betterment of the rest of the country, if you could just wait a little bit.
00:18:26.000 We just wish there was an awesome treatment.
00:18:28.000 So if he got it, it was like...
00:18:30.000 My friend who's 37, I don't want to say his name because I don't think he's talked about it yet.
00:18:33.000 But when he got it, he was a little bummed out at first. 0.98
00:18:38.000 And then two days later, he's like, this ain't shit. 0.98
00:18:40.000 Three days later, he was like, no symptoms at all. 0.98
00:18:43.000 Yeah, listen, I did the test on Monday.
00:18:45.000 I had your guy come to my house.
00:18:46.000 Well, he sent somebody.
00:18:48.000 And I was negative.
00:18:49.000 I did the finger one, the blood one, and the nose swab.
00:18:53.000 Negative on all of them.
00:18:54.000 But...
00:18:55.000 I think I had it, dude, in January.
00:18:57.000 And I had like a brief one.
00:19:00.000 Yeah, but dude, if you had it, that FDA-approved antibodies test that concierge MD uses, they would catch it.
00:19:07.000 I think that a lot of people thought they had it because there's the regular flu and there's regular colds.
00:19:13.000 Yeah, but I never get those either.
00:19:15.000 You know what I mean?
00:19:15.000 Yeah, but you can.
00:19:16.000 You're a human, Russell.
00:19:17.000 It's true.
00:19:17.000 And then a lot of people, I think a lot of the testing results are getting marked wrong.
00:19:23.000 You think so?
00:19:24.000 Yeah.
00:19:25.000 Listen, I had a friend pass away during this whole thing.
00:19:28.000 From?
00:19:29.000 He died of cirrhosis of the liver and liver cancer.
00:19:33.000 And because they did a COVID test, they said it's COVID related.
00:19:37.000 Yeah, that's rough. 1.00
00:19:38.000 And I'm like, come on, that's fucking bullshit. 0.99
00:19:40.000 Because I spoke to the doctor less than 24 hours before he passed away, and the doctor said he's got three to six months. 1.00
00:19:45.000 My doctor told me that.
00:19:46.000 There's quite a few cases of people that were literally at death's door from cardiopulmonary disease, and they got COVID and died, and they called it a COVID death.
00:19:55.000 And he was upset about it.
00:19:56.000 He was like, I understand because a lot of these hospitals are privately funded.
00:20:01.000 Privately owned, and that's something I didn't really even consider.
00:20:04.000 I always thought a hospital was like some sort of state-run thing.
00:20:06.000 I mean, I never thought about hospitals.
00:20:08.000 Did you?
00:20:08.000 No.
00:20:09.000 See, I'm from, again, I'm from Canada where they're all government-run.
00:20:11.000 It's free.
00:20:12.000 Yeah.
00:20:12.000 Well, they have to make money, you know?
00:20:15.000 And basically, this guy was saying, look, the doctors are doing their best.
00:20:20.000 And it's not that they want to be deceptive, and it's not that they're doing it anyway.
00:20:24.000 But he goes, but...
00:20:26.000 Hospitals are like any other business.
00:20:27.000 There's a bottom line.
00:20:29.000 They have to make money.
00:20:30.000 And if there's an incentive for them to call something a COVID death and they receive extra funds, especially in a time like this, where they're really hurting financially, it makes sense, but it really highlights...
00:20:44.000 Why a state-funded medical, you know, some sort of a...
00:20:50.000 If we had, like, the way Canada has it.
00:20:53.000 Like, Canada's not perfect.
00:20:55.000 No, I mean, listen, it's not the best.
00:20:57.000 But it's pretty good that you don't have to pay.
00:20:59.000 It's efficient for what you need it to be.
00:21:00.000 You need something extra done, yeah, you might be better off paying a little extra to get something done. 0.99
00:21:07.000 But as far as, like, regular shit, you know, you get a cold, go to the doctor. 0.99
00:21:11.000 You break your arm, you go to the doctor. 0.98
00:21:13.000 Yeah, well, I have friends that have had real problems, like shoulder problems and knee problems.
00:21:19.000 They need surgery and they've come to America to get it.
00:21:21.000 Oh yeah, no, that's the way it works.
00:21:23.000 Same with my dad when he had cancer.
00:21:25.000 The treatment he wanted or needed was in Philadelphia.
00:21:29.000 Yeah, so it's like privately funded stuff.
00:21:33.000 Stuff that costs more money where the doctors get...
00:21:36.000 They have an incentive to become excellent, right?
00:21:39.000 Because they can make more money doing it.
00:21:41.000 Like specializing.
00:21:42.000 But then the Canadian government still picked up the tab for it.
00:21:46.000 Oh, really?
00:21:47.000 Yeah, because it was a service that wasn't available in Canada.
00:21:50.000 That's sweet.
00:21:51.000 Yeah, so they were like, all right, we'll get it.
00:21:53.000 Yeah, that's a divisive thing over here, man.
00:21:56.000 It is weird that it's divisive, too, because it literally benefits everybody.
00:22:01.000 Do you know why it's divisive?
00:22:02.000 Because the people that are healthy at the time are arguing about it.
00:22:05.000 They don't want to pay.
00:22:06.000 It's the people that are healthy at the time.
00:22:08.000 They're not looking at it long-term. 1.00
00:22:10.000 But you would think that these politicians would be for it, too, because they're all old as shit. 1.00
00:22:15.000 Yeah, but they have money. 1.00
00:22:16.000 That's true.
00:22:16.000 And they've been corrupt and taken money on the take.
00:22:19.000 Like, I'm a Bernie Sanders fan, and that's one of the things that I really like about what Bernie Sanders was saying.
00:22:26.000 You know, Bernie Sanders was saying that it should be a fundamental right as an American citizen to have health care.
00:22:33.000 It should be a fundamental right as a human being anywhere in the world.
00:22:36.000 Yes.
00:22:36.000 The way I look at it, I mean, people have all these little weird arguments about it, but the way I looked at it was like, aren't we a community?
00:22:44.000 So if we're a community, shouldn't we, if we're going to take care of things, we should take care of fire department, right?
00:22:50.000 You should have a fire department, tax dollars pay for that. 0.97
00:22:53.000 You should have a police department, tax dollars pay for that. 0.53
00:22:55.000 What about health care, education?
00:22:57.000 All those things should be, there should be all those things taken care of.
00:23:01.000 Yeah, I don't...
00:23:01.000 Again, I've only been here 14 years, so I'm learning about the education system now in America.
00:23:08.000 And it's trippy to me.
00:23:10.000 We thought Obamacare was going to cover it.
00:23:11.000 That's what a lot of people thought.
00:23:12.000 When Obama was talking about it and they were trying to get the Affordable Care Act passed...
00:23:19.000 We thought, oh, this is going to be it.
00:23:20.000 We're going to be cool.
00:23:22.000 But it seems like, you know, what is it, nine years later?
00:23:26.000 It's like 12 years later?
00:23:28.000 How many years is it now?
00:23:30.000 Well, he's been gone for four.
00:23:31.000 When did he start it, though?
00:23:32.000 He started it, I think.
00:23:33.000 He had an eight-year term.
00:23:34.000 Yeah, wasn't it in the middle or the beginning of his second term?
00:23:36.000 Is that when it started?
00:23:37.000 Or the end of his first term, somewhere around there?
00:23:39.000 So let's just say it's seven years old.
00:23:41.000 Yeah.
00:23:41.000 It's still.
00:23:42.000 It's not much different.
00:23:43.000 Is it much different?
00:23:44.000 Jamie, do you know?
00:23:50.000 I mean, is it easier to get healthcare?
00:23:52.000 Is it better?
00:23:53.000 It was.
00:23:53.000 Some people got it taken away from him already.
00:23:55.000 Because of Trump?
00:23:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:23:56.000 That motherfucker. 1.00
00:23:57.000 And then there was also the people that were against the Obamacare because they said it made their rates go up. 1.00
00:24:03.000 Yeah.
00:24:04.000 Yeah, there was that too.
00:24:05.000 Yeah, there was a bunch of people that were doctors that were upset about it.
00:24:09.000 They were saying it was too expensive for them. 0.96
00:24:12.000 There's just so much fucking red tape and everything nowadays. 0.98
00:24:15.000 It's so hard to be a person. 0.98
00:24:16.000 It's like being on a movie set, you know?
00:24:18.000 Hey, can I get a bottle of water?
00:24:20.000 Can somebody get a bottle of water?
00:24:22.000 Sure.
00:24:23.000 Don't plug that in, whatever you do.
00:24:25.000 Yeah, right?
00:24:25.000 You plug something in, the Union Electric guys.
00:24:27.000 Yeah, fuck, dude. 1.00
00:24:29.000 It's so crazy. 1.00
00:24:30.000 I did a movie last summer, and I became friends with all the drivers because they were all Teamster guys, and they were all Italian. 0.97
00:24:37.000 And I would just break their balls when we were driving back and forth. 0.99
00:24:40.000 They fucking loved me. 0.99
00:24:42.000 It's like lunchtime would come, and they'd be like, Hey, Russell, Mikey C says don't go to lunch. 0.99
00:24:47.000 He got you a sandwich from our spot.
00:24:49.000 And I'm like, Oh, thanks, Mikey C. Nice.
00:24:53.000 They were good guys.
00:24:55.000 Is there something to be said for Teamsters?
00:24:58.000 Yeah, we got a lot of people, man.
00:25:00.000 I think that's part of the problem.
00:25:01.000 Yeah.
00:25:02.000 Part of the problem in this country, we got a lot of people.
00:25:06.000 Humans are designed to live in little villages, I think. 0.99
00:25:09.000 I think when you get us into these big, large groups of people, shit gets weird. 0.98
00:25:13.000 Yeah, well, everybody wants to establish their dominance. 0.98
00:25:16.000 There's a little bit of that, too.
00:25:17.000 Yeah.
00:25:18.000 And there's a bunch of different ways to live.
00:25:19.000 Everybody wants to establish that their way is the best way.
00:25:22.000 You gotta do it our way.
00:25:23.000 Yeah, and there's no one way.
00:25:26.000 There's no one way. 0.99
00:25:27.000 Fucking Eddie. 0.99
00:25:30.000 Are you doing any shows right now? 1.00
00:25:34.000 No.
00:25:35.000 I did.
00:25:35.000 I did Miami this past weekend.
00:25:37.000 What'd you do?
00:25:38.000 Five shows.
00:25:39.000 The improv?
00:25:40.000 Yeah.
00:25:40.000 Wow.
00:25:41.000 So that was the first time in three months?
00:25:43.000 No.
00:25:44.000 Two weeks before that, I did the American Comedy Club in San Diego.
00:25:48.000 That was the first time.
00:25:49.000 They've been open for that long?
00:25:50.000 Yeah, so that was good.
00:25:52.000 It was like 75 people a show.
00:25:54.000 The Hoya Comedy Store is open again.
00:25:56.000 Already?
00:25:56.000 Yeah.
00:25:57.000 It was good, though.
00:25:58.000 I had a good time.
00:25:59.000 And then Miami, I was getting a little leery of the numbers and the stats coming out, so I would literally stay in my hotel room until showtime, go to the show, do my shows, no meet and greet, and bounce right back to the hotel.
00:26:12.000 Were you doing anything to take precautions?
00:26:14.000 Are you taking supplements? 1.00
00:26:15.000 Yeah, I'm on a bunch of shit, you know. 1.00
00:26:18.000 I got this anti-aging doctor that I see. 0.99
00:26:21.000 Were you taking vitamins, though? 0.96
00:26:23.000 Yeah, I'm taking a bunch of vitamins, like some stupid amount, you know, like 20,000 or something like that. 0.96
00:26:31.000 Really? 0.99
00:26:31.000 Every day? 0.99
00:26:32.000 A vitamin D? Yeah, or maybe 10,000 a day.
00:26:35.000 I take 5,000.
00:26:35.000 5,000 I use every day.
00:26:36.000 Yeah, I take two 5,000. 1.00
00:26:38.000 Damn, look at you. 0.99
00:26:40.000 I'm getting the D. Hey, wait a minute. 1.00
00:26:43.000 It's hard and you can't go outside.
00:26:44.000 That's one of the really rough things, right?
00:26:46.000 The best way to get vitamin D is really from the sun.
00:26:48.000 Yeah, was it 15 minutes at a time or something? 0.98
00:26:50.000 But I get dark as fuck when I go outside. 0.96
00:26:52.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:26:52.000 And I got this stupid sunspot right here that I'm always paranoid about. 0.99
00:26:56.000 But does it get darker when you get tan? 0.99
00:26:58.000 It gets darker, yeah.
00:26:58.000 It gets hyperpigmentation.
00:27:01.000 Tried lasering it off a few times, but again, in California, it's difficult when I go to these places.
00:27:07.000 They need a special laser for brown skin. 0.90
00:27:09.000 Oh, really?
00:27:10.000 I'm like, you're taking a brown spot off.
00:27:11.000 How difficult can this be?
00:27:14.000 What is it from?
00:27:15.000 It's just a birth thing?
00:27:16.000 No, it developed over the years.
00:27:20.000 It was a tiny light spot, looked like a splash.
00:27:24.000 But it's something dangerous.
00:27:25.000 No, and then it just, you know, just hyperpigmentation.
00:27:28.000 As you get older, your skin gets weaker, I imagine.
00:27:31.000 Yeah, a lot of folks get those weird little black, like Morgan Freeman's got those weird little black spots that stick out of his face.
00:27:38.000 Yeah, it looks like he's got black sesames.
00:27:40.000 It's strange, right?
00:27:41.000 Yeah.
00:27:42.000 What is that?
00:27:42.000 I don't know.
00:27:43.000 Again, I think I'm getting them somewhere on my neck I've got one of those now.
00:27:47.000 On him it kind of looks better, though.
00:27:49.000 Gives him that distinguished speckled look.
00:27:52.000 Yeah, that guy can do no wrong.
00:27:53.000 Has he ever been in a bad movie?
00:27:56.000 What's a bad Morgan Freeman movie?
00:27:57.000 What is a bad Morgan Freeman?
00:27:58.000 I don't think he's...
00:27:59.000 He's like one of those guys, if he's in a movie, I'm comforted.
00:28:03.000 I'm like, right.
00:28:04.000 It's going to be a good movie.
00:28:05.000 He will drive Miss Daisy. 0.89
00:28:08.000 And he'll do it with class.
00:28:10.000 He's got great hair, you know?
00:28:13.000 You know, he's got a solid head of hair and a great voice.
00:28:16.000 He's like our generation's James Earl Jones.
00:28:19.000 Not that our generation didn't have any James Earl Jones, but he's like our second backup James Earl Jones.
00:28:24.000 That's interesting.
00:28:27.000 You see they're doing a Jack Johnson movie?
00:28:29.000 Are they really?
00:28:30.000 Yeah.
00:28:30.000 Who's playing Jack Johnson?
00:28:31.000 Mahersha Ali.
00:28:33.000 I don't know that dude.
00:28:34.000 Yeah, the guy from the Green Book, the black dude. 0.99
00:28:36.000 Oh! 0.60
00:28:36.000 Yeah. 0.60
00:28:37.000 Really?
00:28:37.000 Yeah.
00:28:38.000 Wow.
00:28:39.000 Does he know how to box?
00:28:39.000 I don't know.
00:28:41.000 Apparently he did...
00:28:42.000 I think he did a Broadway version of Jack Johnson or something in 2000. Oh, no shit. 1.00
00:28:47.000 See if you can find some... 1.00
00:28:48.000 That's crazy.
00:28:49.000 That was 20 years ago.
00:28:50.000 Yeah.
00:28:51.000 2000 is 20 years ago.
00:28:52.000 Does that seem right?
00:28:53.000 He seems so slight, though.
00:28:54.000 Like, he doesn't seem like a big dude, but he looks a lot like him there.
00:28:58.000 There he is.
00:28:59.000 Yeah.
00:28:59.000 But Jack Johnson had those giant 13-inch wrists.
00:29:03.000 Did he really?
00:29:03.000 Yeah, it's a massive wrist.
00:29:05.000 I didn't know that.
00:29:06.000 Yeah.
00:29:06.000 Massive wrists, huh?
00:29:08.000 Yeah.
00:29:08.000 Wow.
00:29:09.000 Unruly.
00:29:10.000 Hold on.
00:29:10.000 Go back up.
00:29:11.000 It says HBO limited series.
00:29:12.000 Oh, it's a series.
00:29:16.000 Interesting.
00:29:17.000 That's my favorite fighter of all time, Jack Johnson.
00:29:19.000 Well, you want to talk about a brave man.
00:29:22.000 I mean, that guy was knocking out white people at the turn of the 20th century. 0.95
00:29:28.000 And he would punish them. 0.98
00:29:29.000 Yes.
00:29:29.000 He wouldn't just knock you out because he knew he could knock you out.
00:29:32.000 Right. 0.97
00:29:32.000 He would hit you in the jaws of your knees, buck, and snap in and hold you up. 0.97
00:29:36.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:29:36.000 And he would say shit to them. 1.00
00:29:37.000 Not yet, boss. 1.00
00:29:38.000 Not yet.
00:29:39.000 You're going to have a long night tonight, boss. 1.00
00:29:42.000 Let's just beat the shit out of him. 1.00
00:29:44.000 He would hurt him and just hold him up. 1.00
00:29:46.000 No, no, don't fall down. 0.99
00:29:47.000 I want you to take this beating. 1.00
00:29:49.000 That to me is like the ultimate fucking gangster move. 0.99
00:29:52.000 I have one of those Roots of Fight shirts with him, and it says the Galveston Giant. 0.98
00:29:56.000 But when you look up how big he was, he wasn't very big.
00:29:59.000 He was like 5'9 or 5'10"?
00:30:00.000 No, no, no, no.
00:30:01.000 I think he was more than 6 feet tall.
00:30:03.000 But back then, he was a giant.
00:30:05.000 Yeah.
00:30:06.000 Because of his wrists.
00:30:06.000 He had thick.
00:30:08.000 He was a thick dude.
00:30:08.000 I think he was only like 200 plus pounds.
00:30:11.000 Yeah, he wasn't much over 200. Yeah.
00:30:14.000 Yeah.
00:30:15.000 People just didn't have any food back then.
00:30:17.000 No, he was dense, though. 0.99
00:30:18.000 Like his body was fucking... 1.00
00:30:20.000 The stories about him are, look at him. 1.00
00:30:22.000 Six feet tall, 200 pounds.
00:30:24.000 And he was a giant back then.
00:30:25.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:30:26.000 The Galveston Giant. 1.00
00:30:27.000 His fucking forearms are bigger than his biceps almost. 1.00
00:30:31.000 Damn, he did have some giant ass forearms. 1.00
00:30:34.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:30:34.000 You know, he fought middleweight Stanley Ketchel. 1.00
00:30:37.000 Stanley Ketchel, yeah.
00:30:38.000 In an exhibition bout.
00:30:40.000 And Ketchel tried to knock him out and dropped him.
00:30:42.000 Yeah, and that's when he got right up and then knocked him out and his teeth got embedded into his glove.
00:30:46.000 Yeah.
00:30:47.000 Whew.
00:30:48.000 Well, back then when they had gloves, their gloves were like bag gloves. 0.97
00:30:52.000 They were tiny ass little gloves with horse hair in them. 0.95
00:30:54.000 Oh yeah. 0.88
00:30:55.000 And you could pack the horse hair down and guys would squirt water into their, they'd make like a small incision, squirt water into their gloves and pack the horse hair down to make it hard.
00:31:05.000 Yeah.
00:31:06.000 It's a rough way to live.
00:31:07.000 You ever felt those gloves and the leather's really coarse?
00:31:10.000 Yeah.
00:31:12.000 It's a rough way to live, man.
00:31:13.000 Little Arthur.
00:31:14.000 That's what they called him too, right?
00:31:16.000 Is that what they called him?
00:31:17.000 Little Arthur?
00:31:18.000 He had a bunch of nicknames.
00:31:20.000 Little Arthur...
00:31:21.000 Imagine if you take a guy like that and train him today.
00:31:25.000 Just the character that you would have to have to be the heavyweight champ in the world when, I mean, racism back then was probably magnified by hundredfold, right?
00:31:36.000 He would fight 45 round fights and shit like that, 60 round fights.
00:31:40.000 Him and Sam Langford and Peter Jackson and all those guys.
00:31:44.000 But he wouldn't give Langford a title shot.
00:31:47.000 Why?
00:31:48.000 I don't know.
00:31:49.000 There's something with that.
00:31:51.000 I don't know what that was about, but...
00:31:53.000 Car accident claims Jack Johnson in 1946. That's when he died.
00:31:57.000 Wow.
00:31:57.000 Because he liked fast cars.
00:32:00.000 Oh, yeah.
00:32:01.000 There's that famous story of him getting pulled over by a cop.
00:32:04.000 Yep.
00:32:04.000 Gave him $100.
00:32:05.000 Yeah, I told him I'm going the same speed on the way back.
00:32:07.000 Yeah.
00:32:08.000 And then there was the other one where apparently he got into a taxi one time and the guy said, I don't drive the N-words.
00:32:15.000 Yeah.
00:32:16.000 And so Jack grabbed him, threw him in the backseat, got in the front, drove himself to where he had to get to.
00:32:21.000 Wow.
00:32:22.000 And then the guy's like, hey, what about my affair?
00:32:23.000 He goes, I drove myself.
00:32:25.000 And look at the, he had like white wives back then too. 1.00
00:32:28.000 Oh yeah, he did that on purpose.
00:32:29.000 Imagine those chicks, how bold you had to be back then. 1.00
00:32:33.000 It's probably hung like a horse, too.
00:32:36.000 Like multiple horses.
00:32:40.000 I would love to see what the world was like at various stages in history.
00:32:47.000 I wonder if one day they're going to be able to do that with virtual reality.
00:32:51.000 I don't know if you've ever used any of those Oculus Rift headsets or anything like that.
00:32:56.000 They're really interesting.
00:32:57.000 They've got one now with Alex Honnold, who's that crazy free solo climber.
00:33:03.000 Right.
00:33:03.000 And, you know, he went up the side of a mountain with this camera apparatus on.
00:33:09.000 So you're literally looking at this climb from his perspective. 0.99
00:33:14.000 It's fucking bonkers. 0.91
00:33:16.000 But I wonder if they're going to get to a point, I would love it if they got to a point, where you could go back in time. 0.98
00:33:22.000 Like, you could go to, like, 1920s New York City and see what it looked like.
00:33:26.000 Hear it and see it.
00:33:28.000 Yes.
00:33:29.000 Yes.
00:33:30.000 There's like videos on YouTube about what the world was like.
00:33:35.000 You know, if you can go back 10 million years, this is what it looked like.
00:33:39.000 And then they do this and what the world would look like in this many years.
00:33:43.000 That's all speculation, but I guess the ones going back are more...
00:33:47.000 Confirmed, so to speak.
00:33:49.000 I just would love to...
00:33:50.000 I mean, you're never going to really be able to go there, but I think they're going to be able to simulate it in a way that's really, really close within our lifetime.
00:34:01.000 Yeah, they're on it.
00:34:02.000 Yeah.
00:34:03.000 They're on it, especially now.
00:34:04.000 They've got nothing else to do.
00:34:05.000 They might as well work extra hard on it.
00:34:07.000 I just think it would be amazing just to get a glimpse of what it was like, like 1700s Paris, walking down the street in the 1700s if they could recreate it perfectly.
00:34:18.000 Yeah, and while they're building something that's like, you know, you could be there when they're building the Colosseum or something in Rome, you know?
00:34:24.000 Yeah, they don't know how they did that, though.
00:34:26.000 That's the problem.
00:34:27.000 Like, if you want to go back to the Parthenon or something like that.
00:34:30.000 Yeah.
00:34:31.000 How did they erect these?
00:34:32.000 Yeah.
00:34:33.000 Who were the craftspeople? 0.95
00:34:36.000 Yeah, because that's the thing.
00:34:37.000 There's a lot of...
00:34:38.000 Again, that always changes too.
00:34:39.000 That's the beauty of science is that there's never really the answer.
00:34:42.000 There's what they think the answer is.
00:34:44.000 And then when they find out the answer, like, oh, we were wrong the first time.
00:34:47.000 Yeah.
00:34:47.000 Do you think you're going to stay in America no matter what?
00:34:50.000 Do you think about going back to Toronto?
00:34:51.000 I know you love it up there.
00:34:52.000 I love my home, but I got two kids here.
00:34:55.000 Yeah.
00:34:55.000 I can't just leave, you know?
00:34:57.000 Right.
00:34:57.000 What are they going to do?
00:34:59.000 Yeah.
00:34:59.000 I'm not going to bring two baby mamas with me.
00:35:03.000 That's not the way that's going to go.
00:35:04.000 Good luck.
00:35:05.000 Yeah, so...
00:35:06.000 You know what?
00:35:07.000 I gotta lay in the bed that I made, buddy.
00:35:10.000 Or start a reality show.
00:35:11.000 Two Baby Mamas in Toronto.
00:35:12.000 That's the name of the show.
00:35:13.000 Yeah, right.
00:35:14.000 Two Americans in Toronto.
00:35:16.000 Two Baby Mamas and Russell Peters in Toronto.
00:35:20.000 I gotta buy three houses? 1.00
00:35:21.000 Fuck that. 1.00
00:35:22.000 No, you don't. 1.00
00:35:23.000 You buy one big house, and that's how you film it.
00:35:26.000 You have the East-West. 0.56
00:35:27.000 Yeah, I'll take the center.
00:35:29.000 You guys are East and West.
00:35:29.000 Yeah, you have Division.
00:35:31.000 I'm the referee.
00:35:32.000 I walk around with a Foot Locker shirt on all day.
00:35:34.000 Yeah, you all meet in the middle.
00:35:35.000 You set up like a gymnasium for the kids in the middle.
00:35:38.000 Everything's fun.
00:35:39.000 The game's in the middle. 1.00
00:35:40.000 Girls can talk shit to each other. 1.00
00:35:41.000 Oh yeah. 1.00
00:35:42.000 No, that's no good.
00:35:43.000 That's no good.
00:35:43.000 I don't want that to be my life.
00:35:45.000 It's already my life.
00:35:46.000 I don't want it to be any further my life.
00:35:48.000 Well, you gotta think, what are comedians gonna do if it gets to a point where there really is no more income from stand-up anymore?
00:35:53.000 I mean, I'm legitimately concerned that this is gonna last a lot longer than people think.
00:35:59.000 I'm definitely concerned.
00:36:01.000 Yeah.
00:36:01.000 I mean, you know, this thing kicked me in the nuts pretty good, this whole thing.
00:36:07.000 And there's a reason I'm out there doing dates, you know, putting it on the line, just because I have to.
00:36:12.000 Yeah.
00:36:13.000 Well, your income is solely from stand-up.
00:36:17.000 Solely.
00:36:18.000 And we all thought that was fun.
00:36:20.000 Yeah.
00:36:21.000 If this didn't happen, I wouldn't even be in any kind of situation right now.
00:36:24.000 Right.
00:36:24.000 I'd be like, eh, everything's good.
00:36:29.000 There's only certain people who really blossomed in this, and you're one of them.
00:36:33.000 Well, Schultz.
00:36:34.000 Andrew Schultz figured out how to do COVID comedy better than anybody. 0.95
00:36:39.000 His videos that he does on Instagram are fucking amazing. 0.99
00:36:42.000 I watch every single one of those, and I'm like, God damn, this kid's good. 0.99
00:36:46.000 They're so good. 0.98
00:36:47.000 They're so well-written, and they're so fast, and the pace, and just his timing, and his insight.
00:36:53.000 And he does the little lines, little jokes in there.
00:36:56.000 I like when he takes the little jabs at everybody.
00:36:59.000 Yes!
00:36:59.000 He's a wizard at this stuff.
00:37:01.000 Yeah.
00:37:02.000 How old is Andrew?
00:37:04.000 He's in his 30s, 36 maybe?
00:37:07.000 Yeah.
00:37:08.000 Just old enough to be smart enough. 0.99
00:37:09.000 He knows what the fuck he's doing. 0.99
00:37:10.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:37:11.000 But still young and wild.
00:37:13.000 You know, he's one of those...
00:37:14.000 There's a few of those guys that are coming up that are...
00:37:16.000 In this day and age with social media and cancel culture, it's very hard to be a wild comedian.
00:37:22.000 Yeah.
00:37:23.000 You know, in our day...
00:37:24.000 When we were first starting.
00:37:25.000 There were no rules.
00:37:26.000 There was no rules. 0.98
00:37:26.000 It was fucking Wild West back then. 0.98
00:37:27.000 You were wild because everybody else was wild and that was what you enjoyed. 0.99
00:37:31.000 I enjoy wild comedy.
00:37:33.000 I've always enjoyed Kinnison and Pryor and when Joey Diaz is going off.
00:37:38.000 That's my favorite.
00:37:40.000 That's what I like.
00:37:42.000 And so that's what we all did.
00:37:44.000 But to be a guy like Schultz today, it's a lot riskier.
00:37:48.000 To be Tim Dillon today, a lot riskier.
00:37:50.000 Yeah.
00:37:51.000 These guys, but they figured it out, you know, because they're from the culture that is canceling people.
00:37:57.000 So they know the inside of it.
00:37:59.000 They know, like, they kind of know the lines in it.
00:38:02.000 Mm-hmm.
00:38:03.000 The lines move, though.
00:38:04.000 That's what's weird.
00:38:05.000 Yeah.
00:38:05.000 I mean, the lines are very blurred right now.
00:38:07.000 Yeah.
00:38:07.000 And I keep thinking, you know, I say it on stage, too, but I'm like, you know, if they're going to cancel it for what you're saying, they're not paying attention to intent.
00:38:15.000 They're not looking at the look in your face when you say something.
00:38:19.000 They don't look in your eyes.
00:38:20.000 They don't hear, you know, there's a lot of cadence involved in a lot of things that you say that take the sting right out of it. 1.00
00:38:26.000 And then I even said, if I was to read a transcript of everything I said tonight, I'm like, this guy's a piece of shit and let's get rid of him. 0.99
00:38:31.000 There's also temporary thoughts that go down as permanent record. 0.99
00:38:35.000 You know, especially if you're doing a podcast, you're just riffing. 1.00
00:38:39.000 You're talking shit. 0.99
00:38:40.000 You're trying to make each other laugh. 1.00
00:38:41.000 And if you take that and make it a permanent record, like, this is how this person feels forever.
00:38:46.000 Wait till you see when this one airs, how many people... 1.00
00:38:49.000 Get that son of a bitch! 1.00
00:38:51.000 Get the fuck out of America if you don't like it here! 1.00
00:38:53.000 That's what I'm gonna hear. 1.00
00:38:54.000 You're gonna get a lot of that, and I'm like, no you fuck. 1.00
00:38:55.000 I love it here. 0.99
00:38:56.000 You haven't said one bad thing about America, though. 0.99
00:38:57.000 Well, no, the minute you say anything and you're not American, you automatically get the fuck out is what you get. 0.98
00:39:02.000 What do you have to do to be American-American? 0.98
00:39:04.000 You have a green card.
00:39:05.000 I have a green card.
00:39:06.000 What do you have to do to make the leap?
00:39:07.000 I just gotta get a citizen, dude.
00:39:08.000 And a tattoo.
00:39:09.000 You need an eagle.
00:39:09.000 An eagle tattoo.
00:39:10.000 Should I get an eagle? 1.00
00:39:10.000 An eagle with a dick shaped like a gun. 1.00
00:39:13.000 Uh-huh. 1.00
00:39:13.000 How about that? 1.00
00:39:14.000 Wearing a gi.
00:39:15.000 Yes.
00:39:16.000 I like it.
00:39:16.000 But the gi is kind of originally Japanese.
00:39:19.000 I know, but I think I'm just in honor of.
00:39:21.000 Okay.
00:39:22.000 American Eagle with a gi.
00:39:25.000 American Giggle.
00:39:26.000 Do you have any tattoos?
00:39:27.000 None.
00:39:27.000 None?
00:39:28.000 You thought about it?
00:39:29.000 I think about it now and then.
00:39:30.000 I remember when you had none.
00:39:32.000 I had one.
00:39:33.000 Yeah, you had one little one.
00:39:34.000 I had one on my shoulder, yeah.
00:39:35.000 And that was like, in the past 10 years, you've definitely done a transformation.
00:39:39.000 Well, what I did was I wanted to get a sleeve, and I did want it to be patchwork.
00:39:44.000 So I wanted to do it all one piece.
00:39:46.000 So I went to Aaron Della Vadova down at Guru Tattoo in San Diego.
00:39:49.000 And we planned it out, and he drew all these sketches of what it would look like.
00:39:54.000 And, you know, it was a thought-out thing.
00:39:56.000 What was it?
00:39:57.000 What is your sleeve, the first one?
00:39:59.000 Well, it's a lot.
00:39:59.000 It's a dragon.
00:40:00.000 It's wrapped around this Buddha that's holding a DMT molecule. 1.00
00:40:05.000 It's pretty wild shit. 0.99
00:40:07.000 Yeah, I just wanted art, you know? 0.99
00:40:10.000 And everybody's like, oh, you got a tattoo.
00:40:12.000 You're going to keep it for the rest of your life.
00:40:14.000 Well, that's not that long.
00:40:15.000 Yeah.
00:40:15.000 Guess what?
00:40:16.000 You know?
00:40:17.000 Yeah.
00:40:17.000 Like, what's better?
00:40:18.000 Old skin? 0.95
00:40:19.000 People are like, what's it going to look like when you're old?
00:40:21.000 Well, guess what? 1.00
00:40:21.000 All old skin looks like shit. 1.00
00:40:23.000 Yeah, I at one point wanted a boxing glove holding a microphone. 0.99
00:40:27.000 Glad you didn't do that?
00:40:28.000 No, I'm not glad because I never got it.
00:40:30.000 Every time somebody would draw it for me, I was like, it doesn't look good. 0.96
00:40:33.000 When I was in high school, everybody had a fucking Tasmanian devil with boxing gloves. 0.99
00:40:37.000 That was the thing. 0.99
00:40:38.000 I don't know why.
00:40:40.000 Then it became the tribal art, became the thing.
00:40:42.000 Oh, yeah.
00:40:43.000 Or barbed wire around your bicep.
00:40:45.000 Yeah.
00:40:46.000 Or your ankle if you're a gal or a dude who likes dudes.
00:40:49.000 Yeah.
00:40:50.000 And then they would do the tribal zigzags all over their back. 0.99
00:40:53.000 And I'm like, listen, you can tell.
00:40:54.000 That's like a time stamp on you now.
00:40:56.000 Yep.
00:40:56.000 So you were really big into tattoos ten years ago, were you?
00:41:00.000 Yeah, the tribal thing's weird, right?
00:41:01.000 Why did that come in and go out? 1.00
00:41:04.000 Because it was white guys doing it, who were never part of a fucking tribe. 1.00
00:41:11.000 You can't be tribal if you were never in a tribe. 1.00
00:41:14.000 That's so true! 0.99
00:41:15.000 Like, why do you have tribal shit out? 1.00
00:41:16.000 What tribe are you from? 1.00
00:41:17.000 I'm fucking Los Feliz, bro. 0.99
00:41:20.000 You're not even from a tribe called Quest. 0.99
00:41:24.000 That's so true! 0.96
00:41:25.000 White guys from no tribe. 0.97
00:41:27.000 Because the tribal people still do it. 1.00
00:41:29.000 Do they, though?
00:41:30.000 Not like those kind of tattoos.
00:41:31.000 I mean, like the Maori tattoos and all that?
00:41:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:41:33.000 That shit's crazy. 1.00
00:41:35.000 Yeah, that's different. 1.00
00:41:35.000 That's like real hardcore tattooing. 1.00
00:41:37.000 Oh, they tap it in there, too?
00:41:39.000 Yeah.
00:41:39.000 A lot of guys, like, there's a bunch of UFC fighters.
00:41:43.000 Tai Tuivasa, who has that shit, from his waist down, like, his legs, he's got, like, shorts made out of it. 0.97
00:41:50.000 You know, a lot of those guys, they do it tapping. 0.99
00:41:53.000 So they lay there, and the guy has the stick.
00:41:55.000 Have you seen the tapping?
00:41:56.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:41:57.000 It looks painful as fuck. 0.96
00:41:58.000 It's gotta be. 0.99
00:41:59.000 Never done it.
00:42:00.000 My buddy Sturgill, he has one of those, he's got like a quarter sleeve that he's working on.
00:42:06.000 I just like that his name is Sturgill.
00:42:07.000 Sturgill Simpson.
00:42:08.000 That's a legit Southern there.
00:42:11.000 It's like they wanted to name him Sterling and Virgil, and they were like, okay, we're gonna call him Sturgill.
00:42:14.000 Yeah, that's a good name.
00:42:15.000 For him, it's perfect.
00:42:16.000 He's Sturgill.
00:42:17.000 And he's got one of his tattoos he got from a Japanese master.
00:42:21.000 And that's how they did it, with the tapping.
00:42:24.000 It's a long, laborious process.
00:42:26.000 But that's a thing.
00:42:27.000 A lot of people that are real Japanese tattoo aficionados, they'll go to Japan to get tattooed in that tapping way.
00:42:35.000 That's how the Yakuza gets it, right?
00:42:37.000 Yeah.
00:42:37.000 Some of them.
00:42:38.000 I'm sure some of them get it the other way now. 1.00
00:42:40.000 But they can do shit with tattoos now. 1.00
00:42:42.000 It's like... 0.98
00:42:43.000 The art form has evolved to this crazy place where they can do photorealistic tattoos now.
00:42:51.000 That's incredible.
00:42:52.000 You ever seen Steve Butcher?
00:42:53.000 You know who that dude is?
00:42:54.000 No, but I've seen some of the guys that have your logo tattooed on them.
00:42:58.000 Dude, a lot of them. 0.88
00:42:58.000 And it's incredible how fucking realistic it looks. 0.88
00:43:02.000 I stopped posting them on Instagram because I was getting so many of them. 0.63
00:43:05.000 Yeah.
00:43:05.000 And then someone posted, yeah, that's Steve Butcher.
00:43:09.000 He did me.
00:43:10.000 That's insane.
00:43:11.000 It's insane. 0.99
00:43:11.000 Well, he's insane, period. 0.99
00:43:12.000 He's really fucking talented. 1.00
00:43:14.000 Somebody got the Michael Jordan Trump. 1.00
00:43:20.000 See, I would do some dumb shit like that if I got a tattoo, probably. 0.99
00:43:23.000 You know who's great, too? 0.99
00:43:24.000 Go to Ash Lewis.
00:43:26.000 Ash Lewis tattoo. 1.00
00:43:28.000 He's got some amazing shit, too. 0.99
00:43:30.000 There's that whole style of tattoos now. 0.99
00:43:34.000 Stan Lee.
00:43:35.000 Look at that.
00:43:36.000 Yeah, that's really incredible when they get that.
00:43:39.000 Click on that Stan Lee one, Jamie.
00:43:41.000 Let me get a look at that.
00:43:42.000 Look at that. 1.00
00:43:42.000 Fuck, man. 1.00
00:43:43.000 Incredible. 1.00
00:43:44.000 If I was to do it, I would do one like that.
00:43:47.000 Like a photorealistic one?
00:43:48.000 Yeah.
00:43:49.000 Of both your baby's mama giving you the finger.
00:43:51.000 Yeah.
00:43:52.000 One on each thigh.
00:43:53.000 I don't know if my thighs are big enough.
00:44:02.000 Beautiful.
00:44:02.000 Oh, look at Robin Williams.
00:44:03.000 That's amazing.
00:44:04.000 Yeah, but he got the worst movie ever, Patch Adams.
00:44:07.000 That's hilarious.
00:44:08.000 That has to be a joke.
00:44:09.000 Like, Patch Adams.
00:44:11.000 Have you ever seen Patch Adams?
00:44:12.000 I didn't watch Patch Adams.
00:44:13.000 I mean, I probably did at the time, but I don't remember it.
00:44:16.000 I don't remember the premise. 0.86
00:44:18.000 It's something really ridiculous. 0.97
00:44:19.000 It's like a clown that works with cancer patients or something. 0.99
00:44:22.000 Something along those lines. 0.78
00:44:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:44:24.000 No, he was a doctor who would use...
00:44:27.000 It was based on a real true story.
00:44:28.000 Yeah.
00:44:29.000 What'd you say, Jamie?
00:44:30.000 Yes.
00:44:31.000 Yeah, it was a doctor who would come in and do silly things to make the patients laugh to try and help their spirits.
00:44:37.000 Yeah, but it was bad.
00:44:39.000 Because they all died anyway.
00:44:41.000 Yeah, but they died with great spirit.
00:44:46.000 It was a really happy death they had.
00:44:49.000 He was a rough one, man.
00:44:50.000 When that guy hung himself, I was like, oh.
00:44:51.000 Yeah, you know, I never got to meet him.
00:44:53.000 I met him once at the improv.
00:44:55.000 It was crazy.
00:44:56.000 I didn't know I was meeting him until like five minutes into the conversation and I realized it was Robin Williams.
00:45:00.000 How long ago was that?
00:45:02.000 Years ago.
00:45:03.000 Obviously he's dead.
00:45:04.000 Yeah.
00:45:05.000 So not recent?
00:45:07.000 No.
00:45:08.000 I don't remember but I did a show at the improv.
00:45:10.000 It was quite a few years ago.
00:45:12.000 It was during the time of the podcast.
00:45:15.000 I did a show at the improv and then afterwards I'm shaking hands with people and taking pictures and this very slight Older man with a beard, a heavy beard, wearing a baseball hat comes up and he's like really complimentary, but he obviously knows a lot about stand-up.
00:45:31.000 He's asking me questions about writing and questions about certain bits, like really laughing. 0.97
00:45:37.000 And then I'm like, holy fuck, this is Robin Williams. 0.99
00:45:40.000 I was like, oh, thanks, man. 0.99
00:45:42.000 I really appreciate it.
00:45:43.000 That's really cool.
00:45:44.000 I just think he's some cool guy. 0.99
00:45:46.000 And then I realized in the middle of the conversation, this is Robin fucking Williams. 0.99
00:45:50.000 Yep. 1.00
00:45:50.000 Because he had this crazy, thick-ass white beard. 1.00
00:45:53.000 Yeah, you always grew a real bushy beard. 0.99
00:45:55.000 I think he was hiding, man.
00:45:57.000 You know? 0.98
00:45:57.000 I think for a lot of folks that are real sensitive, and he's obviously a real sensitive guy, that place of being that famous is fucking overwhelming. 0.98
00:46:09.000 That famous and known for whether you are or not, but you're known for being always like on.
00:46:16.000 Yeah.
00:46:16.000 And then there's the pressure of having to be on now so you don't disappoint the illusion.
00:46:21.000 Yeah. 0.96
00:46:22.000 And that's got to be fucking taxing. 0.97
00:46:24.000 It's got to be. 0.97
00:46:26.000 Always on.
00:46:27.000 And then just also, you know, it's just the pressure of everyone recognizing you everywhere you go and...
00:46:36.000 I think one of the best recognitions I got was Bob Newhart.
00:46:39.000 Oh, that's a good one.
00:46:40.000 Like 10 years ago, he...
00:46:41.000 I didn't even know he knew I existed, but he invited me to be...
00:46:46.000 He was getting inducted into the Television Hall of Fame for 50 years in the business or something.
00:46:51.000 And he wanted me to be there on behalf of the younger generation.
00:46:56.000 And I'm like, are you serious?
00:46:58.000 And I remember I sat with Fred Willard and Mannix, what's his name?
00:47:05.000 Tom Connors, is that his name?
00:47:06.000 Chuck Connors.
00:47:08.000 Okay.
00:47:09.000 Yeah, I sat beside them while we were doing it, and I was like, this is incredible.
00:47:12.000 And then they had a private dinner after, and I was sitting at the table with Fred Willard, and then the guy that was on Bosom Buddies with Tom Hanks.
00:47:21.000 Oh, wow.
00:47:23.000 Where's that guy?
00:47:25.000 Oh, Peter Scolari, that's his name.
00:47:26.000 Oh, okay.
00:47:27.000 Yeah, right. 0.97
00:47:27.000 And then Don Rickles was there, and Bob was just so fucking... 0.97
00:47:31.000 He's still alive, and I've actually been meaning to call him just to check in on the guy. 0.74
00:47:36.000 But he was so funny.
00:47:38.000 I remember he was about to make it.
00:47:39.000 He got up to make a speech.
00:47:40.000 It was like this private dinner we had.
00:47:42.000 He gets up to make a speech and this woman is like, Bob, is this going to be funny? 1.00
00:47:46.000 Is this a funny speech?
00:47:47.000 And everyone's like, who is this? 1.00
00:47:49.000 Fucking broad yelling at me. 0.99
00:47:50.000 Is this going to be funny, Bob? 1.00
00:47:52.000 Bob, is this going to be funny?
00:47:53.000 And Bob Newhart just goes, why don't we all find out together? 0.97
00:47:57.000 And I was like, it's fucking perfect. 0.97
00:48:00.000 It's so perfect. 0.99
00:48:01.000 The perfect response.
00:48:02.000 It is perfect. 0.98
00:48:03.000 It wasn't like, hey, shut up.
00:48:05.000 It was like, why don't we all find out together?
00:48:07.000 God, that is just, that's some people.
00:48:09.000 It's like a master talking, you know?
00:48:11.000 Yeah, I mean, it's a lob.
00:48:13.000 She lobbed and he smashed it.
00:48:15.000 Yeah. 0.95
00:48:16.000 Yeah, some people are just so dull-minded.
00:48:19.000 Oh, again, is it going to be funny?
00:48:21.000 Like, she needed to know.
00:48:22.000 She needed to know from him.
00:48:23.000 Yeah.
00:48:24.000 Bob, how should we react to this, you know?
00:48:26.000 Ugh.
00:48:27.000 Who's the first famous person that came to your show?
00:48:30.000 Do you remember?
00:48:31.000 I don't remember the first payments.
00:48:33.000 Well, back in the mid-90s, the Raptors used to come to my shows in Toronto.
00:48:39.000 A lot of them, because we would do this black comedy night once a month.
00:48:43.000 Kenny Robinson had the Newbie and Disciples of Pryor all-black comedy show.
00:48:47.000 It was the ABC of NDP. And it started in April of 1995. And those shows would sell out every month to the point where I had every gangster in the city calling me, yo, I need you to put me on the list.
00:49:00.000 I'm like, man, you're fucking killing me, dude. 0.95
00:49:02.000 He goes, yo, don't embarrass me when I get there. 0.99
00:49:05.000 Make sure I'm on the list.
00:49:06.000 And I'm like, I go, Kenny, I got to put so-and-so on the list.
00:49:10.000 Is he going to bring guns?
00:49:11.000 I go, I don't know what he's going to bring.
00:49:12.000 But if he gets in and there's no problem, you'll have no problems.
00:49:16.000 Oh boy.
00:49:17.000 Did you have metal detectors?
00:49:19.000 No.
00:49:20.000 There was a shooting at the store one night.
00:49:21.000 I remember that.
00:49:22.000 That was a couple years ago.
00:49:24.000 The guy shot a guy on the patio, right?
00:49:25.000 Different time.
00:49:26.000 Yeah, that's a different time.
00:49:27.000 That was a murder.
00:49:29.000 That was someone who came to kill somebody.
00:49:31.000 There was a shooting in the main room one night.
00:49:34.000 I believe Tupac was there.
00:49:37.000 Really?
00:49:37.000 Yeah.
00:49:39.000 I was off that night.
00:49:40.000 I wasn't there.
00:49:41.000 That must have been maybe Trippin' on Tuesdays or something?
00:49:44.000 I don't know.
00:49:45.000 I don't know.
00:49:48.000 They used to have Fat Tuesdays.
00:49:49.000 Oh, Fat Tuesdays.
00:49:50.000 That's right.
00:49:50.000 Yeah.
00:49:51.000 And then Guy Torrey took it over and had Trippin on Tuesdays.
00:49:53.000 Is that what it was?
00:49:54.000 Yeah.
00:49:56.000 And then Chris Spencer took it over.
00:49:58.000 Guy Torrey used to get up in the morning and do East Coast radio from his home in LA. I couldn't do that shit. 1.00
00:50:08.000 He would do it like five days a week. 1.00
00:50:11.000 I'm most positive that he did that.
00:50:14.000 I had Guy and Joe over in my house as well.
00:50:16.000 We were in the backyard having cigars.
00:50:18.000 Do you remember when Joe used to host Def Jam and he was jacked?
00:50:21.000 Yeah, he's still in great shape.
00:50:22.000 He does a lot of martial arts as well.
00:50:24.000 Does he?
00:50:24.000 Yeah.
00:50:25.000 What does he do?
00:50:26.000 He did some taekwondo and he did some Greco-Roman wrestling and stuff like that. 0.99
00:50:30.000 No shit. 1.00
00:50:31.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:50:32.000 But he was one of the first guys ever to be funny and jacked.
00:50:35.000 Yeah, but listen, he was one of my favorites.
00:50:37.000 I think he's one of the reasons, too, that I talk to the crowd so much, because I used to watch him do that, and I go, I love that.
00:50:44.000 I know you hate when I do it, but...
00:50:45.000 Well, it's not that I hate it.
00:50:48.000 If I go on afterwards, they want to talk to me, too.
00:50:50.000 No, see, I don't get them talking.
00:50:51.000 I just ask them questions.
00:50:53.000 And the way I ask them questions, it doesn't open it up for a conversation.
00:50:57.000 It opens up to that they want to shut up now.
00:51:00.000 I try to approach it that way, like a jab, you know?
00:51:03.000 I get it.
00:51:03.000 I understand it.
00:51:04.000 I want to make sure you're good when you go on.
00:51:06.000 I understand.
00:51:07.000 I get it out of their system, Joe.
00:51:08.000 I understand.
00:51:09.000 Well, you like to do that.
00:51:10.000 That's how you form material, right?
00:51:11.000 That's exactly how I write.
00:51:13.000 I remember you and I felt bad after last time we had dinner. 0.98
00:51:16.000 He yelled at me like, just fucking stop being lazy. 0.98
00:51:19.000 And I go, listen, Joe, this is my process. 0.99
00:51:21.000 I definitely didn't yell at you.
00:51:23.000 Well, you know, you talk very...
00:51:24.000 But you said, no, you said I can't write.
00:51:26.000 And I said, you definitely can write.
00:51:27.000 Don't say you can't write.
00:51:28.000 You definitely can write.
00:51:29.000 You just don't do it.
00:51:30.000 It's true.
00:51:32.000 Everybody can write.
00:51:33.000 Yeah.
00:51:33.000 I mean, I used to write, but I need pen and a pad.
00:51:35.000 I got to go do it the old school way.
00:51:36.000 Yeah.
00:51:37.000 Well, it's like for us, we're also ADD. It's hard to just sit alone.
00:51:41.000 Just sit alone with your thoughts.
00:51:43.000 But I feel like there's a bunch of different things you can do.
00:51:47.000 You can write on stage, which is great.
00:51:49.000 You can write throughout the day, just have ideas, then run them on stage.
00:51:52.000 All that's great.
00:51:53.000 But nothing's preventing you from actually sitting and writing as well.
00:51:59.000 I feel like when you sit and write, you have an opportunity to develop different concepts, different ideas.
00:52:05.000 And I get it.
00:52:06.000 And I've been meaning to this whole quarantine, but I thought I would be the most motivated guy.
00:52:12.000 I think every comic thought we were going to come out of this quarantine with an entire new act that was so fucking well written and everybody I talked to was like, what'd you do?
00:52:19.000 Nothing. 0.96
00:52:19.000 I couldn't fucking sit down and do it. 0.96
00:52:21.000 I didn't write at all. 0.97
00:52:22.000 No, me neither.
00:52:22.000 I didn't write at all on purpose.
00:52:24.000 First of all, because I didn't know how I felt. 0.98
00:52:28.000 When this shit locked down, first of all, everybody thought a large percentage of us were going to die, right? 0.99
00:52:34.000 Yeah, we didn't know what the fuck was happening. 1.00
00:52:36.000 Nobody knew. 0.98
00:52:36.000 We saw the footage from China where they're driving on the street spraying that stuff into the... 0.98
00:52:42.000 The buildings.
00:52:43.000 We didn't know.
00:52:44.000 So we thought, man, what if we're losing a lot of our friends?
00:52:48.000 I was worried about Diaz.
00:52:50.000 I was worried about Tim Dillon.
00:52:51.000 I was worried about big people.
00:52:53.000 I was worried about older people.
00:52:56.000 Joey was one of the guys who...
00:52:59.000 Checked on me weekly.
00:53:00.000 He checks on everybody.
00:53:01.000 He's awesome. 0.98
00:53:02.000 Yeah, he's fucking great. 0.94
00:53:03.000 He was like, I love you, brother. 0.97
00:53:05.000 I'm just checking on you.
00:53:05.000 How's everything?
00:53:06.000 Tell me something good, cocksucker. 1.00
00:53:07.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:53:08.000 He's a beautiful person.
00:53:09.000 He really is.
00:53:11.000 It is shocking what a sweet human being he is.
00:53:13.000 Yeah.
00:53:14.000 He's so gruff on the outside and his stories are so crazy that people get this distorted impression of who he is.
00:53:21.000 But Joey Diaz is a saint.
00:53:22.000 And you would want to think that he's going to want to hang out with everybody and party. 1.00
00:53:26.000 He does not like that shit at all. 1.00
00:53:28.000 He gets the fuck out of there. 1.00
00:53:29.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:53:29.000 Too many people. 1.00
00:53:30.000 I got to go.
00:53:30.000 Yeah.
00:53:31.000 One person asked me the wrong fucking question. 0.99
00:53:33.000 I'm out of there. 0.99
00:53:34.000 Yeah.
00:53:34.000 He just likes to go in and crush and then get out of there like a legend.
00:53:39.000 It's great.
00:53:41.000 Still drives a Subaru.
00:53:42.000 I've been telling him forever.
00:53:43.000 I'm like, Joey, please get a nice car.
00:53:45.000 Get a Cadillac. 1.00
00:53:46.000 Fuck, I need that Ford, Joe. 1.00
00:53:47.000 Yeah, that's him. 1.00
00:53:48.000 I don't give a fuck about that shit, Joe Rogan. 1.00
00:53:50.000 What am I going to do with a fucking Cadillac? 1.00
00:53:52.000 What did you get? 1.00
00:53:53.000 Did you get anything to celebrate your Spotify thing?
00:53:55.000 Did you buy a nice car for yourself?
00:53:57.000 No.
00:53:57.000 No.
00:53:58.000 I haven't bought anything.
00:53:58.000 No?
00:53:59.000 No.
00:54:00.000 I have enough cars.
00:54:01.000 Yeah, you do.
00:54:02.000 I think it's enough.
00:54:03.000 Maybe a watch or something that says, hey.
00:54:05.000 No.
00:54:06.000 No.
00:54:07.000 I'm just living like I always lived.
00:54:09.000 Just trying to concentrate on doing good shows.
00:54:11.000 Trying to concentrate on when, especially when Spotify launches, I want to just get real good guests and be prepared.
00:54:18.000 That's why I'm glad I'm on now before we start getting good guests again. 0.99
00:54:20.000 Fuck that. 1.00
00:54:21.000 You're coming on, bitch. 1.00
00:54:23.000 I'm always trying to, you know, do my best. 1.00
00:54:26.000 That's what I concentrate on. 0.98
00:54:27.000 I feel like if I steer away from that in anything, I fuck up. 0.93
00:54:33.000 Yeah, no, you gotta just keep it what you're doing. 0.69
00:54:35.000 Yeah, just keep trying to do my best and not even thinking about all that other stuff.
00:54:38.000 I remember when they would be in your house. 0.98
00:54:40.000 You'd walk in, and it was right on the right-hand side in that little ass room. 0.98
00:54:43.000 My little office, yeah. 0.98
00:54:45.000 That was the studio.
00:54:46.000 Yeah, that was the first time I did it.
00:54:48.000 It was December of 2010. Nobody was watching.
00:54:52.000 Nobody.
00:54:52.000 And you were like, you want to do it?
00:54:53.000 I go, yeah, I don't even know what it is, but I'll do it.
00:54:55.000 We would have like 200 people viewing live.
00:54:58.000 Yes, you were doing the live ones, too. 0.99
00:55:01.000 It was Red Band who figured that shit out already. 0.99
00:55:04.000 Well, that's how we started it. 0.99
00:55:05.000 We started it on a laptop with Ustream, just answering questions.
00:55:09.000 Ustream!
00:55:10.000 That's what it was.
00:55:11.000 Yeah, Ustream.
00:55:12.000 And then we moved over to YouTube later on.
00:55:14.000 But it was just for fun.
00:55:17.000 The YouTube clips keep me very entertained on the road.
00:55:21.000 Yeah?
00:55:22.000 Yeah, I'll go look for a subject that I want to hear about, and there'll be like a 12 to 15 minute clip.
00:55:27.000 I go, perfect.
00:55:27.000 Well, that's one of the good things about the Spotify deals.
00:55:30.000 What Spotify is going to do is they're going to organize things like all the health and wellness podcasts are going to be organized, all the fitness ones, all the martial arts ones, all the ones with scientists, all the ones on archaeology, animals, paleontology, all the different ones are going to be organized so you can actually search shit.
00:55:47.000 Have you thought about doing a podcast?
00:55:49.000 I have thought about it, yeah.
00:55:50.000 This is the perfect time, Russell Peters.
00:55:52.000 I mean, I really want to, but I... Come on, baby.
00:55:54.000 What's up?
00:55:55.000 Can you put me under your wing?
00:55:57.000 Everybody wants that.
00:55:58.000 Not really a wing, just let me use a space or something.
00:56:01.000 Figure it out, and I'll tweet it for you.
00:56:04.000 That'll help, actually.
00:56:05.000 Yeah, I'll tell people.
00:56:06.000 I mean, I do on Instagram Live a lot.
00:56:09.000 I'll talk to, like...
00:56:11.000 Like, I'll pull up, like, you know, look who's there and I'm like, oh look, there's Crazy Legs from Rocksteady Crew.
00:56:16.000 And I'll add them, we'll do like a live chat and we'll, and it's not the basic, hey, so tell me about breakdancing.
00:56:21.000 We just have a conversation and it's actually really good.
00:56:23.000 Well, that's cool. 0.98
00:56:24.000 And then I get like, you know, I'll have, you know, a rapper, one of my favorite rappers will be on or something, you know, and it's just fun shit. 0.89
00:56:31.000 You know who I was hanging out with in Houston? 0.96
00:56:33.000 Willie D, I saw that.
00:56:34.000 Yes, Willie D from the Ghetto Boys.
00:56:36.000 Dude, I hadn't done stand-up in like 90-plus days, and Willie came down to the show.
00:56:42.000 That was this weekend, right?
00:56:43.000 This weekend, yeah.
00:56:44.000 And he's like, which show should I come to?
00:56:45.000 I'm like, please come to the second show.
00:56:47.000 I don't want to bomb in front of Willie D. But even the first show was fantastic.
00:56:51.000 It was fun.
00:56:52.000 It was great.
00:56:52.000 It went great.
00:56:53.000 First of all, the audience was so enthusiastic.
00:56:55.000 People were so happy to be out and so happy to do things.
00:56:58.000 And the day we got there, we weren't even with Brian Moses and Tony Hinchcliffe, and we weren't sure whether or not we were going to even be able to do the show.
00:57:06.000 I've seen Brian Moses perform.
00:57:08.000 I don't think he can do the show.
00:57:09.000 Come on, Brian.
00:57:11.000 Come on, Moses.
00:57:12.000 He killed.
00:57:13.000 But we got there, and there was a stage one COVID alert that they had moved back to stage one.
00:57:20.000 Or phase one.
00:57:21.000 I was like, what does that mean?
00:57:22.000 And they're like, well, they're closing down all the bars. 1.00
00:57:25.000 I'm like, oh, fuck. 0.99
00:57:26.000 I thought we were going to have to literally get on the plane and go back home. 1.00
00:57:28.000 But then they said, nope, we're going to just keep the shows rolling.
00:57:32.000 And then Houston is Texas, and Texas is different.
00:57:36.000 They're closing down the bars, but they keep the restaurants open at 50% capacity.
00:57:40.000 I really like Texas.
00:57:41.000 I love it there.
00:57:42.000 I know.
00:57:44.000 I think I could move to Texas, but I couldn't go where...
00:57:47.000 You're going to go.
00:57:48.000 Where would you go?
00:57:49.000 Dallas?
00:57:49.000 Yeah, Dallas.
00:57:50.000 I love Dallas.
00:57:51.000 I like Dallas a lot.
00:57:52.000 Or Houston, maybe.
00:57:53.000 But Dallas, probably more likely.
00:57:54.000 I love all of them, man.
00:57:56.000 I just love Texas.
00:57:57.000 I love the attitude.
00:57:58.000 I do.
00:57:58.000 It's very diverse, too.
00:58:00.000 It feels like its own country. 1.00
00:58:01.000 Yeah, there's all kinds of shit. 1.00
00:58:02.000 And I think it gets a bum rap for a lot of things. 0.99
00:58:05.000 I mean, I'm sure those things exist over there, but I don't think that's what it's about over there.
00:58:09.000 Definitely not Austin.
00:58:10.000 Austin is a really open-minded, interesting place.
00:58:13.000 It's like a hipster city.
00:58:14.000 Yeah, it's an interesting place. 0.98
00:58:17.000 I had a good time going and watching live bands and shit in Austin. 0.76
00:58:21.000 They've got some great music and stuff like that. 0.98
00:58:23.000 Sixth Street.
00:58:24.000 Yeah.
00:58:25.000 But listen, that heat is intense over there.
00:58:29.000 I like heat. 1.00
00:58:30.000 No, I like heat too, but dude, it's a fucking dumb heat. 1.00
00:58:34.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:58:35.000 Like, I'm like, God damn, if an Indian guy's complaining about the heat, something's wrong with the heat, dude. 1.00
00:58:39.000 It's good for you, though. 0.99
00:58:40.000 It's good for you, that moist heat.
00:58:42.000 It was, uh...
00:58:44.000 We shot a movie there, me and Faison, about five years ago. 0.96
00:58:47.000 Damn, I haven't seen Faison forever. 0.92
00:58:49.000 Faison's great. 0.99
00:58:49.000 You should have him on. 0.99
00:58:50.000 You know you'd have a fucking great conversation with Faison. 0.99
00:58:52.000 He's really intelligent. 0.99
00:58:55.000 Despite his exterior, he's actually got a lot of interesting perceptive thoughts.
00:59:02.000 Mm-hmm.
00:59:03.000 Very, very good dude, too.
00:59:04.000 He's a great guy.
00:59:05.000 Solid guy.
00:59:06.000 And you guys were in Texas?
00:59:07.000 Yeah, we were shooting.
00:59:08.000 So one day we were shooting.
00:59:09.000 It was like the hottest day of the year that day.
00:59:10.000 It was like in July.
00:59:12.000 I think it was like 118 or something like that.
00:59:16.000 So Texas 118 is different.
00:59:18.000 Oh, it's not a good 118. So we were supposed to shoot the scene outside.
00:59:21.000 They were like, fuck, it's too hot. 0.99
00:59:23.000 We'll shoot it under this bridge for shade. 0.99
00:59:25.000 And it was a scene where these kids are breakdancing and then I jump in and breakdance with them. 0.97
00:59:30.000 So I had to do a top rock and some waves and shit. 0.62
00:59:33.000 But I'm like, dude. 0.93
00:59:34.000 And action.
00:59:36.000 And reset.
00:59:36.000 I'm like, no, dude.
00:59:37.000 I'm going to fucking die. 1.00
00:59:38.000 So we shoot the whole day of this thing. 1.00
00:59:40.000 And I'm fucking dead. 0.99
00:59:42.000 I'm wearing a blue shirt so you can see when I sweat and everything. 0.99
00:59:45.000 Then I'm like, oh, thank God.
00:59:46.000 That's over.
00:59:47.000 And they go, okay, we're relocating over there.
00:59:49.000 You're going to do the roller skating. 0.99
00:59:49.000 It's going to go, on the hottest fucking day of the year? 0.99
00:59:51.000 You want me to roller skate outside? 0.98
00:59:53.000 Yeah, we're going to do it.
00:59:54.000 That's the thing about movies, right?
00:59:55.000 They gotta jam those 12-hour days in.
00:59:57.000 Oh yeah, we were doing 14 to 15-hour days because it was non-union.
01:00:06.000 Movies are hard, man.
01:00:07.000 You know, it's not hard like coal mining, but it's hard in that it beats you up.
01:00:12.000 A lot of comics that wind up getting into movies, their act sort of suffers.
01:00:16.000 Yeah, well, it's one or the other.
01:00:17.000 Yes.
01:00:18.000 You can't be you on the movie set.
01:00:21.000 Right.
01:00:21.000 You've got to be that character.
01:00:22.000 Well, I always tell everybody that I bet that's why Eddie Murphy stopped doing stand-up.
01:00:27.000 I mean, it's just like his movies are doing so good, and you're more insulated in that world, too.
01:00:33.000 He got too famous, too.
01:00:35.000 It's almost like it's a better way to do it.
01:00:37.000 Yeah.
01:00:37.000 What do you think he's going to be like when he comes back?
01:00:40.000 Who knows if he's going to?
01:00:41.000 I mean, it's a lot of money on the line for him.
01:00:44.000 I'm sure he's got a lot of money. 1.00
01:00:45.000 He's got a lot of money, but I mean, shit. 1.00
01:00:47.000 I watched Norbit the other night. 1.00
01:00:48.000 I've been talking to people about it.
01:00:49.000 I saw you post about it. 0.98
01:00:50.000 Bro, it's fucking funny, man. 0.99
01:00:52.000 It's funny. 0.99
01:00:53.000 Watch Coming to America the next night.
01:00:55.000 Family movie night.
01:00:57.000 What was that movie he did with Owen Wilson?
01:00:59.000 I Spy?
01:01:01.000 Or something like that?
01:01:02.000 Something Spy.
01:01:03.000 I Spy?
01:01:03.000 Was it?
01:01:04.000 Hmm.
01:01:05.000 I don't know.
01:01:05.000 It was actually a really good movie.
01:01:07.000 I enjoyed that movie a lot. 1.00
01:01:08.000 He's done a lot of fucking movies, man. 0.98
01:01:09.000 He's one of those guys where his movies don't get the respect that they deserve for some strange reason. 0.99
01:01:16.000 Like, what was that one that he did with Steve Martin?
01:01:19.000 Bowfinger. 0.99
01:01:20.000 That is a fucking great movie. 0.99
01:01:22.000 Do you know the story behind that, right? 0.99
01:01:23.000 No.
01:01:24.000 That the Heather Graham character was allegedly Anne Hesch.
01:01:28.000 It was based on Anne Hesch.
01:01:30.000 Really?
01:01:31.000 That's what I heard.
01:01:32.000 Based on her?
01:01:33.000 Yeah, how she was dating Steve Martin, then she ended up with a woman. 1.00
01:01:36.000 Yeah.
01:01:37.000 And then ended up...
01:01:38.000 What did she end up with?
01:01:39.000 She ended up with Ellen DeGeneres. 0.97
01:01:40.000 That's right.
01:01:41.000 And then she ended up marrying a man after that.
01:01:43.000 That's right.
01:01:43.000 Just keep it moving.
01:01:45.000 Yeah.
01:01:45.000 Whoever's going to take me, I'm good with it.
01:01:48.000 I actually met her and she's very nice, too.
01:01:50.000 So, you know, what happened to her, man?
01:01:52.000 I don't know.
01:01:52.000 She was shooting a series up in Canada for a little while.
01:01:55.000 That's where I met her.
01:01:58.000 But, you know, the problem with Eddie was not the problem. 0.92
01:02:00.000 What happened with Eddie was his movies in the 80s were so fucking huge.
01:02:06.000 You know, it's like opening with a phenomenal joke and then the rest of your act, you can't follow it, despite how good the rest of the jokes are.
01:02:11.000 But so many of those movies were still really good.
01:02:14.000 They just didn't get the respect for some reason.
01:02:16.000 Like Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hours, Coming to America, Trading Places.
01:02:20.000 I mean, hit after hit after hit.
01:02:22.000 Not like a little bit of a hit.
01:02:23.000 He was the man.
01:02:24.000 And then, you know, you got another 48 Hours, and then you got Beverly Hills Cop 2 and 3. Even they were good.
01:02:30.000 Yes. 0.96
01:02:32.000 That was the first time I saw sequels and I was like, wow, that's just as fucking good as the first one.
01:02:35.000 But wasn't there like a time period where he wasn't doing films or they weren't as popular and then you get films like Bowfinger?
01:02:43.000 Yeah, so I think after he did that one movie, it was like a military kind of movie in the late 80s.
01:02:53.000 It was somewhere around after Golden Child, it kind of fell apart a little bit.
01:02:58.000 Oh, is that what it was?
01:02:59.000 Yeah.
01:03:00.000 Is that pre or post My Girl Wants to Party All the Time?
01:03:03.000 That was post.
01:03:04.000 Okay, so that was an issue.
01:03:05.000 Yeah.
01:03:07.000 My Girl Wants to Party All the Time. 1.00
01:03:09.000 You know Finest Henderson?
01:03:11.000 Yeah, sure.
01:03:11.000 Yeah.
01:03:12.000 You know he wrote that for Eddie?
01:03:13.000 Really?
01:03:14.000 Yeah, apparently Finest told me he wrote it for him.
01:03:16.000 Wow.
01:03:17.000 He goes, yeah, I used to help Eddie with that back in the day.
01:03:20.000 Because Finest was actually a really big, he had a really big song back in the day called Skip to My Lou.
01:03:25.000 Really?
01:03:26.000 Yeah, it was a really dope R&B track, like early 80s.
01:03:30.000 I remember I was in New York City and Eddie Murphy had that song.
01:03:33.000 No, I was in Boston.
01:03:35.000 I was in Boston and Eddie Murphy had that song come out and I was like, this guy can do anything.
01:03:39.000 That was one of those things where when a person does that...
01:03:42.000 And Rick James produced it for him.
01:03:44.000 Did he really?
01:03:45.000 Oh, that makes sense.
01:03:46.000 There's some of those guys who could just kind of do anything.
01:03:49.000 They could do movies, they could do comedy.
01:03:51.000 He's got a reggae album out now, you know that?
01:03:54.000 What?
01:03:54.000 Yeah, it came out like three years ago, I think.
01:03:57.000 What?
01:03:57.000 Eddie Murphy?
01:03:58.000 Yeah, a couple of years ago, Eddie Murphy released a reggae album.
01:04:01.000 See, I always feel like with certain dudes, like whether it's him or Jamie Foxx or dudes who just have this really diverse set of skills, they're probably just always doing something whether you know about it or not.
01:04:14.000 They're just creatives that can't stop creating.
01:04:18.000 Right.
01:04:18.000 And then they get...
01:04:19.000 You know, I think the thing with...
01:04:21.000 A lot of people are creative.
01:04:22.000 And a lot of people...
01:04:24.000 I think what you need is the...
01:04:25.000 What is this?
01:04:26.000 Eddie Murphy.
01:04:27.000 That's the reggae.
01:04:28.000 Red Light featuring Snoop Dogg.
01:04:30.000 Whoa! 0.71
01:04:31.000 Look at this!
01:04:34.000 He's playing guitar? 1.00
01:04:36.000 Yeah, he plays instruments and shit. 0.98
01:04:40.000 Okay, we can't play any of it, but I'm gonna have to go and get this now. 0.98
01:04:45.000 But I'm not shocked, man.
01:04:48.000 I'm not shocked.
01:04:51.000 And I know he was thinking about doing stand-up again, but I do not know if he's actually doing stand-up again.
01:04:57.000 So, I was at his house January of last year, January 2019. Tiffany Haddish took me to his house.
01:05:07.000 And it was this night that I was really not supposed to be there.
01:05:10.000 I wasn't invited, but Tiffany was like, come with me!
01:05:12.000 And I'm like, hell yeah! 0.98
01:05:14.000 So I went, and it was this incredible fucking night at Eddie Murphy's house where I walk downstairs. 0.98
01:05:21.000 The first place I see is Jamie Foxx. 0.98
01:05:23.000 He's like, hey man, what's up?
01:05:24.000 I'm like, what's up, Jamie?
01:05:25.000 And he's like, yeah.
01:05:26.000 And then I turn, I see Neil Brennan, and then I look at the bar, and I see Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher sitting at the bar, and I'm like, what the fuck have I... And then I see Kimmel, then I see Bill Hader, and then I hear behind me, yo, is this what you comedians always do, hang out with each other?
01:05:42.000 And I turn around, and it's Q-Tip from A Tribe Called Quest, and I'm like, what up, Tip? 0.99
01:05:46.000 And they're like, what the fuck is going... 0.96
01:05:47.000 What have I walked into? 1.00
01:05:48.000 Wow.
01:05:49.000 Wow.
01:05:49.000 And then Jeff Ross was there, and then Chappelle came, Chris Rock came.
01:05:55.000 And I was like, what have I fucking walked into? 0.64
01:05:58.000 But the good thing is, you know, because you were comics, we all know each other. 0.95
01:06:01.000 And then, you know, I'd only met Eddie once for like a split second at a fight.
01:06:06.000 And he knew my name then, but when I walked in the basement, he goes, hey, Russell, thanks for coming.
01:06:10.000 I'm like, Eddie Murphy knows my name!
01:06:13.000 That's all I kept thinking. 0.98
01:06:15.000 Holy shit, Eddie Murphy knows my name! 0.99
01:06:18.000 I met him once with Charlie. 0.99
01:06:19.000 I ran into Charlie.
01:06:20.000 Charlie was so great.
01:06:22.000 He was such a sweet guy.
01:06:23.000 Charlie and I did a tour together for Maxim, the Bud Light comedy tour with John Heffron.
01:06:30.000 And then, just randomly, I was in Maui, and just Charlie was in Maui.
01:06:38.000 And I went over and sat with him, and Eddie Murphy was weird.
01:06:43.000 It was so strange.
01:06:45.000 How was he when he was with Charlie?
01:06:46.000 He was real friendly, man.
01:06:48.000 Yeah, he was really nice.
01:06:49.000 There was nothing weird about him.
01:06:51.000 No, he's super friendly. 1.00
01:06:52.000 His first words, he goes, you're a funny motherfucker. 1.00
01:06:54.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:06:55.000 I was like, oh my god.
01:06:56.000 Yeah, these are the things.
01:06:57.000 I might faint.
01:06:58.000 Yeah, dude. 0.99
01:07:01.000 That whole night, I honestly didn't say a fucking word to anybody. 0.97
01:07:05.000 I was just in shock the entire time. 0.98
01:07:07.000 I was just like...
01:07:07.000 I know, right?
01:07:08.000 Every time I turned my head, and then I was standing in a doorway.
01:07:11.000 Like that.
01:07:11.000 And it's me standing beside Eddie, and then Chris Rock, Jamie Foxx, and Neil Brennan, and they're all trying to convince him to do stand-up again.
01:07:21.000 Wow.
01:07:22.000 And I'm just there, like...
01:07:24.000 I have nothing to add to this conversation.
01:07:27.000 Like, I'm not on Jamie's level.
01:07:29.000 I'm not on Chris's level.
01:07:30.000 You know, Neil credits.
01:07:30.000 I'm like, I'm just there.
01:07:32.000 But they didn't make me feel like, what are you doing here?
01:07:34.000 They made me feel included.
01:07:35.000 So that was nice.
01:07:36.000 That is nice.
01:07:38.000 But, you know, Eddie was like, I haven't done it in 30 years.
01:07:40.000 I'm like, I'm pretty sure you've still got it.
01:07:43.000 Oh, he's got it.
01:07:44.000 He said he's got about five minutes.
01:07:47.000 I got about five minutes.
01:07:48.000 But, you know, you guys are out there doing it every day.
01:07:50.000 And I know he wants to do it.
01:07:54.000 But it depends on how he approaches it.
01:07:56.000 Well, it depends on how he feels.
01:07:58.000 If he just decides he wants to do it.
01:08:00.000 The thing about stand-up is that you have to do it in front of people.
01:08:03.000 You've got to go out there and do it in front of people.
01:08:05.000 Yeah, there's no theory to it.
01:08:06.000 Right.
01:08:07.000 It's not like music.
01:08:08.000 You can create an album with just you and your friends.
01:08:11.000 You can't really create a comedy set without being at a place where you're going to have random people come and pay money to see you talk.
01:08:20.000 And that's the other problem he's got to overcome, is that people are going to be coming expecting, you know, maybe they're expecting delirious or raw coming out of him.
01:08:27.000 But he's a 60-year-old man now. 0.99
01:08:29.000 He's got fucking 10 or 11 kids. 0.99
01:08:31.000 I think he does, yeah. 0.99
01:08:33.000 When I met him, when I was at his house, his baby was only maybe a couple months old, or a month old.
01:08:39.000 Wow.
01:08:41.000 And then, end of the night, I got stuck in the basement of his house.
01:08:45.000 What happened?
01:08:46.000 Well, everyone was leaving, and I didn't know where Tiffany went.
01:08:49.000 And I'm literally standing against the wall, and I'm the only uninvited guy there, really.
01:08:53.000 Do you know what I mean?
01:08:54.000 Like, all the Netflix people were there, and I'm like, oh boy, I don't know what the... 0.99
01:08:59.000 And I'm looking around going, I don't know where the fuck Tiffany went. 1.00
01:09:03.000 And finally, like, it was me and then eight of Eddie's kids were sitting at this one table. 0.99
01:09:07.000 And I'm just standing there like a creep, like right across from them.
01:09:11.000 And I see Kenya Barris going upstairs.
01:09:13.000 And I was like, Kenya, don't leave without me.
01:09:14.000 So I left.
01:09:14.000 I went up with him.
01:09:16.000 And as you walked up, they had the door open to suggest, just get the fuck out of the house. 0.93
01:09:19.000 And I was like, um, said the lady, hey, uh, I came with Tiffany and she's kind of my ride. 0.97
01:09:27.000 She did.
01:09:27.000 She picked me up.
01:09:29.000 And I'm like, I don't know where she is.
01:09:33.000 And then they were like, oh, I think she went to the backyard.
01:09:34.000 I go, okay.
01:09:36.000 And I'm like, what am I supposed to do with that?
01:09:38.000 I'm not going to go walking around the guy's house.
01:09:40.000 Right.
01:09:40.000 How do you get to the backyard?
01:09:42.000 Thank God one of his sons was walking by and goes, oh, I'll take you to the backyard.
01:09:45.000 And I said, oh, thank goodness.
01:09:46.000 So I go to the backyard.
01:09:48.000 It's a massive backyard. 1.00
01:09:49.000 This fucking house is insane. 1.00
01:09:51.000 Where does he live? 1.00
01:09:52.000 Beverly Hills.
01:09:53.000 Of course.
01:09:54.000 Yeah.
01:09:55.000 But in that really exclusive gated community there, like where Denzel lives.
01:10:00.000 Stallone.
01:10:01.000 Yeah, in these massive houses.
01:10:03.000 Yeah.
01:10:04.000 Like, I think honestly it was about 30,000 square feet, the house.
01:10:07.000 How weird must that be to be that guy?
01:10:10.000 To like, you know, know those people, who those people are when you're young, and then all of a sudden you're one of them people?
01:10:18.000 It's, listen, I mean, I'm still aghast from it a year and a half later.
01:10:23.000 I can only imagine.
01:10:25.000 I mean, there's like an exclusive A-list celebrity group of humans.
01:10:29.000 Yeah.
01:10:30.000 And there's like, I guess like when a guy like him has a party like that, like those are the only people that are just going to be semi-normal around him.
01:10:37.000 Yeah.
01:10:37.000 You know, he can't have that like, Eddie, is this, is this going to be a funny speech?
01:10:41.000 Yeah, no, none of that. 0.99
01:10:42.000 You can't have no fucking weirdos. 1.00
01:10:44.000 Can't have any. 1.00
01:10:45.000 And that's why I didn't want to say anything because I wasn't sure what I'm, like, am I going to say something stupid and be like, who brought this guy? 0.99
01:10:52.000 You can't have any normies. 0.97
01:10:53.000 Yeah, and I felt too normal.
01:10:55.000 Yeah.
01:10:56.000 Isn't that funny?
01:10:57.000 It felt like a mortal.
01:10:58.000 Isn't that funny?
01:10:59.000 Like, if you go to the comedy store, you fit right in.
01:11:01.000 Yeah.
01:11:02.000 But if you go, like, when you're around too many celebrities, you do feel like a fraud.
01:11:07.000 Yeah, well, and that's the thing, too.
01:11:08.000 Like, you and I are both friends with Chappelle.
01:11:09.000 I've known Dave 25 years.
01:11:12.000 And when it's just me and him hanging out, it's literally like me and Dave hanging out.
01:11:17.000 Yeah.
01:11:17.000 And then, you know, then you go somewhere, and then he gets spotted by people, and he elevates.
01:11:23.000 And then you become like, hey, I'll be over here.
01:11:26.000 You just carry on over there.
01:11:27.000 Dave took me to one of the weirdest parties ever.
01:11:29.000 He took me to this Naomi Campbell party in the Hollywood Hills.
01:11:32.000 And we had a drive up to the house, and then you had to take, like...
01:11:37.000 Some weird elevator from the downstairs house to the upstairs house.
01:11:41.000 And as we're driving up the upstairs house, there's a photo of Naomi Campbell that's like 40 feet tall that's on the side of this building, and it's her naked. 0.80
01:11:50.000 It's a 40-foot tall, naked Naomi Campbell. 1.00
01:11:53.000 And then you're riding on this elevator.
01:11:55.000 You get up there.
01:11:55.000 Demi Moore's there, and Lenny Kravitz is there.
01:11:57.000 I'm like, this is so strange.
01:12:01.000 Dave said one of the funniest things ever.
01:12:02.000 He goes, man, I would never want to be this famous. 1.00
01:12:05.000 I go, look at me, motherfucker. 1.00
01:12:06.000 You're the most famous person here. 1.00
01:12:07.000 He's like, no way.
01:12:08.000 I go, yeah, you're the most famous person here.
01:12:11.000 And we were both laughing about it.
01:12:14.000 He became famous or maybe doesn't realize it or maybe doesn't think about it, which is why he's so funny because he just concentrates on just life.
01:12:22.000 He's still Dave.
01:12:23.000 When you hang out with him, he still has the same...
01:12:27.000 Sensibilities about him.
01:12:28.000 100%.
01:12:28.000 Like when he was shooting Half-Baked in Toronto maybe 24, 23 years ago, I was with him every day on set.
01:12:35.000 I would hang out in his trailer, hang out with his dog.
01:12:39.000 He had a little white Pomeranian back then named Thelonious.
01:12:43.000 And I would take him for drives to my hometown, Brampton, Ontario. 0.98
01:12:49.000 He goes, where the fuck are we going? 0.96
01:12:50.000 I go, I'm going to take you to this magnetic hill out in Caledon. 0.99
01:12:54.000 So I took him to this hill.
01:12:55.000 You drive down and the car rolls up.
01:12:57.000 What?
01:12:58.000 It's an optical illusion.
01:12:59.000 I still can't figure it out even when you're there, but it looks like you're driving down and the car rolls up the hill.
01:13:04.000 You put your car in neutral and it rolls up.
01:13:07.000 But it's not really rolling up.
01:13:09.000 No, it looks like it is.
01:13:10.000 And you can't unsee it.
01:13:12.000 You're like, it is rolling up.
01:13:14.000 But then when you get out and stand there, you kind of see that, no, it's kind of on an angle, but because there's a road going up like this above it.
01:13:20.000 Oh.
01:13:21.000 So it looks like it's going down, but it really, it's not.
01:13:24.000 Okay.
01:13:24.000 Yeah, it's pretty wild.
01:13:25.000 I can't even imagine what that looks like.
01:13:27.000 And then there's a road right there that we used to call the rollercoaster road. 0.91
01:13:29.000 It's like a really windy road with all these fucking humps, and we would drive, play like drum and bass, and I would drive really fast over this road and feel like a rollercoaster. 0.92
01:13:39.000 Do you hear they're doing a new one? 0.98
01:13:41.000 What?
01:13:42.000 Half-Baked 2. Are they really?
01:13:43.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:13:43.000 Shut up. 1.00
01:13:44.000 With Dave? 1.00
01:13:45.000 No.
01:13:46.000 Someone's playing Dave's son.
01:13:49.000 Who, Little Duvall?
01:13:50.000 I don't know.
01:13:51.000 He's too old.
01:13:52.000 He's too old, but it would be perfect if he was younger.
01:13:55.000 What is this?
01:13:56.000 Is this the road?
01:13:57.000 He's rolling backwards up a hill.
01:13:59.000 That's not it.
01:14:00.000 Not it?
01:14:01.000 No.
01:14:01.000 It's not a tree-lined road like that.
01:14:05.000 Magnetic hill?
01:14:06.000 But it is very much like that.
01:14:09.000 Okay. 0.98
01:14:10.000 It looks like that, and then you roll up and it fucks your whole head up. 0.98
01:14:15.000 Hmm. 0.98
01:14:15.000 Interesting. 0.98
01:14:16.000 But then we went out there and was like, man, what the fuck are we doing all the way out here? 0.94
01:14:18.000 And I'm like, don't worry about it, man. 0.96
01:14:19.000 I'll show you this.
01:14:20.000 And we took him on the road.
01:14:21.000 He's like, oh, that's it right there.
01:14:23.000 That's it?
01:14:23.000 That's actually it.
01:14:25.000 Okay, it looks like you're rolling downhill. 1.00
01:14:26.000 You guys are idiots. 1.00
01:14:27.000 No, you're driving. 1.00
01:14:28.000 You drive downhill.
01:14:29.000 Now watch you roll up.
01:14:31.000 Dude, you're rolling downhill.
01:14:32.000 Now it's a backwards seat.
01:14:33.000 What?
01:14:34.000 I think they show you they put the car in neutral and then the car starts going backwards.
01:14:38.000 Right, because it's going downhill.
01:14:39.000 Jesus Christ.
01:14:40.000 No, no, no.
01:14:41.000 He's going backwards up a hill.
01:14:43.000 That's not up.
01:14:44.000 Yeah, it is.
01:14:45.000 That is definitely not up.
01:14:47.000 When you're there, your eyes will deceive you.
01:14:49.000 Okay, I believe you.
01:14:52.000 I don't know.
01:14:54.000 Maybe something wrong is Canadian education.
01:14:57.000 You know, it's free.
01:14:59.000 Hey, at least it's free, right?
01:15:01.000 It's free here, too.
01:15:02.000 It's terrible.
01:15:03.000 They're cutting the budget.
01:15:04.000 That's one of the responses to COVID. They're going to cut the education budget.
01:15:07.000 How about you cut your salary, you fucks? 0.98
01:15:09.000 I don't think they have a good salary, the teachers, do they? 0.99
01:15:12.000 Not the teachers.
01:15:12.000 I'm talking about the politicians.
01:15:14.000 Oh, yeah.
01:15:14.000 It's not the teachers' call to cut their salaries.
01:15:16.000 I guarantee you that.
01:15:18.000 Sure, the teachers are like, hey, guys, just take my money.
01:15:19.000 It's fine.
01:15:20.000 I don't think that letter works anymore.
01:15:21.000 It did.
01:15:22.000 It'd be a sad time to be in school in L.A. They all have to wear masks, and the teachers have to wear shields over their face.
01:15:35.000 My daughter's been Zooming. 0.99
01:15:37.000 And then my fucking ex-wife signed her up for summer school. 1.00
01:15:40.000 I'm like, that sucks, dude. 1.00
01:15:42.000 You got her on summer school Zoom. 0.86
01:15:44.000 I'm like, that's not even...
01:15:45.000 Oh, that's not school. 0.97
01:15:46.000 Yeah, I know, that's shitty. 0.92
01:15:47.000 But they're doing camp for some kids. 0.99
01:15:49.000 They're doing, like, temperature checks and shit, and they're going to do camp. 0.98
01:15:52.000 Really? 0.98
01:15:53.000 No, not her.
01:15:54.000 She's doing, like, the day before school starts, Daddy, is it too late if I don't want to go to summer school?
01:16:01.000 I go, Baby, I would never have signed you up for summer school, but Mommy did, so we got to do it.
01:16:07.000 I mean, she means well, you know.
01:16:09.000 The mommy does. 1.00
01:16:10.000 Yeah.
01:16:10.000 No, I'm sure.
01:16:11.000 It's also like, I think mommies want a little bit of a break.
01:16:15.000 I would have taken her.
01:16:16.000 Yeah.
01:16:16.000 You know, she's fine.
01:16:17.000 She could have been with me.
01:16:18.000 Well, this is a good time to really bond with your kids.
01:16:21.000 Well, that's what I mean.
01:16:22.000 My daughter, like, you know, wants to be in my house 24-7 now.
01:16:26.000 Daddy's house is the fun house.
01:16:27.000 That's why.
01:16:28.000 Yeah.
01:16:28.000 Oh, I don't have to shower till 10 at night?
01:16:30.000 This is awesome.
01:16:31.000 Are you going to continue to go on the road?
01:16:33.000 And if you do go on the road, are you getting tested, like, every time when you come back?
01:16:37.000 Yeah, I think that's the way it's going to have to go.
01:16:38.000 Yeah, that's what I've been doing.
01:16:40.000 I'm not doing it anymore, though.
01:16:42.000 I'm not doing any more road gigs.
01:16:43.000 Not for months.
01:16:45.000 I decided after this Houston one, I was like, if I brought it back, I'm like, I'm just doing this for fun.
01:16:51.000 It's like, yeah, we're doing stand-up again.
01:16:52.000 This is amazing.
01:16:53.000 And then I thought about it.
01:16:54.000 I'm like, yeah, but if I bring it back, you know, if I catch it...
01:16:59.000 Did you fly commercial and everything?
01:17:00.000 No.
01:17:00.000 Oh, I see.
01:17:01.000 Smart.
01:17:01.000 No.
01:17:02.000 And you didn't do any meet and greets?
01:17:04.000 No.
01:17:05.000 No, I tried to do it.
01:17:06.000 I did it just for the experience.
01:17:09.000 The whole idea was like, let's just go there.
01:17:11.000 Let's have fun.
01:17:12.000 We'll do it for the experience.
01:17:14.000 And then when we come back, we'll reassess.
01:17:17.000 But then what freaked me out as coming back is like, if I gave it to other people.
01:17:22.000 That's the number one fear that I have.
01:17:24.000 You know?
01:17:25.000 I had your guy come and test me on Monday.
01:17:28.000 Abe.
01:17:29.000 Yeah, and he'll get it in 24 hours.
01:17:32.000 Yeah, he did the...
01:17:33.000 He sent somebody, they did the finger one, which was immediate, and then they did the other one that came...
01:17:36.000 Yeah, I got the results the very next day, which I thought was really great.
01:17:39.000 I've been tested...
01:17:44.000 Nine times, I think.
01:17:45.000 Nine times since this thing started.
01:17:48.000 Have you been microdosing at all?
01:17:49.000 A little bit every now and then.
01:17:50.000 Want to do some right now?
01:17:51.000 I've never done it.
01:17:53.000 You know, I'm the CCO of a company that does...
01:17:55.000 A microdosing company?
01:17:56.000 Yeah.
01:17:57.000 How do they do that if it's all super illegal?
01:17:58.000 Well, no.
01:17:59.000 So what it is, it's a company called Red Light Holland.
01:18:03.000 And it's the truffle.
01:18:07.000 The truffle.
01:18:08.000 So it's the top, the mushroom cap is the illegal part.
01:18:11.000 What?
01:18:12.000 The stem, which is the truffle, is not illegal.
01:18:15.000 They're going to jail.
01:18:16.000 Okay, listen to me. 1.00
01:18:17.000 This shit's all illegal. 1.00
01:18:19.000 We're in the process of getting it all legalized and done the right way. 0.99
01:18:24.000 And it'll be available in the Netherlands first, microdosing.
01:18:30.000 And then eventually, we're hoping it goes the way of marijuana.
01:18:34.000 Well, I think it can.
01:18:35.000 Right now, everything's in flux. 0.97
01:18:37.000 Everything's all fucked up right now. 0.95
01:18:39.000 Particularly in California. 0.98
01:18:41.000 Chappelle wanted me to do mushrooms with him.
01:18:42.000 He said, you gotta do mushrooms.
01:18:43.000 I go, I've never done it.
01:18:45.000 Because you gotta do it with me and John Mayer.
01:18:46.000 I'm like, um...
01:18:47.000 Whoa.
01:18:48.000 It's heavy.
01:18:49.000 I hope John starts singing.
01:18:50.000 Yeah, I go, you guys are both professionals at this. 0.98
01:18:52.000 I don't want to be the guy fucking crying in the corner. 0.94
01:18:54.000 Are you nervous about it? 0.99
01:18:56.000 Yeah, I don't know what it does.
01:18:57.000 Just do a little bit.
01:18:58.000 Just do a little.
01:18:59.000 Do a little and you're fine.
01:19:01.000 Yeah?
01:19:01.000 Yeah, you build it.
01:19:02.000 You just try it out.
01:19:03.000 You do a little...
01:19:05.000 Should I be alone when I do it?
01:19:06.000 The first time you should do it with a friend.
01:19:09.000 Who knows how to...
01:19:10.000 Yeah, I would say just to take one cap.
01:19:14.000 Just something light.
01:19:15.000 You'll feel good.
01:19:17.000 The mushrooms want you to like them.
01:19:19.000 And so the first time you do it, they're going to welcome you.
01:19:21.000 They're going to be like, oh man, this is what you should be doing.
01:19:24.000 I'm going to straighten out all your personal problems. 0.99
01:19:27.000 All these weird personality tics that you got, all this strange shit, the trouble you keep getting yourself into. 1.00
01:19:34.000 I fucking do, too. 1.00
01:19:34.000 We'll help you. 1.00
01:19:35.000 The mushroom's gonna talk to you.
01:19:36.000 We'll help you.
01:19:37.000 And then one day they're gonna trick you into taking a large dose, and then you're gonna meet the aliens.
01:19:41.000 Then you're gonna realize that this dimension that we live in is...
01:19:48.000 It's connected to neighboring dimensions that are accessible through certain psychedelics.
01:19:53.000 And then once you see that, you can never unsee it.
01:19:58.000 Regular life loses its seriousness.
01:20:02.000 It loses like 20% of its seriousness.
01:20:04.000 Serious, still regular life, but 20% of it goes away forever because you know that that's possible.
01:20:12.000 You know that these other worlds exist and that other people are just out there running through their entire life from birth to death and they never experienced those worlds.
01:20:20.000 It's that's a that's weird because like you're running around like I run into people because people know that I've done a lot of psychedelic drugs So I'll run into people That know and they've done it too and they look at you and they'll talk to you like hey man You know I did this because of you like a buddy of mine said that to me the other day You gave me the courage to try this Psychedelic drug and I was like, 0.98
01:20:42.000 oh shit.
01:20:43.000 What was it like? 1.00
01:20:44.000 What did he take?
01:20:45.000 He took DMT and he was like That's a little bit more advanced, I would imagine. 0.99
01:20:50.000 And this guy, he's a bad motherfucker, he's a Navy SEAL, but never had any experience like that. 0.98
01:20:57.000 What was his experience with it? 0.98
01:20:59.000 Well, I mean, I would have to talk to him more in depth, but when everybody does it, What you get when they're describing it is just sort of like trying to use words to describe something where there's no references.
01:21:15.000 The words don't work.
01:21:16.000 You could kind of tell me what it was like and I could kind of go, yeah, okay, I kind of see that because I've done it.
01:21:22.000 But if I hadn't done it, there's no way.
01:21:25.000 I have nothing.
01:21:26.000 It's like somebody trying to explain their dream to you.
01:21:28.000 Well, that's what's similar.
01:21:30.000 This stuff, DMT, is actually endogenous.
01:21:34.000 It exists in the human body.
01:21:35.000 And they believe that it comes out in your dreams.
01:21:39.000 They believe that when you're dreaming, your body is releasing some of that stuff.
01:21:44.000 They don't totally understand it, right?
01:21:46.000 It's one of those weird things where they really only found out that mammals created in the pineal gland within the last few years.
01:21:55.000 The Cottonwood Research Foundation, which is connected to Rick Strassman, who wrote that book, DMT the Spirit Molecule.
01:22:02.000 He ran a bunch of FDA approved, I believe the only FDA approved tests on DMT, where they shot it into people in A clinical setting.
01:22:13.000 How did you consume it?
01:22:15.000 I was freebasing it.
01:22:17.000 You freebase it.
01:22:18.000 Really?
01:22:19.000 Yeah.
01:22:20.000 Like a fiend?
01:22:20.000 Yeah, like a fiend.
01:22:22.000 It's like a glass bowl connected to like a tube.
01:22:25.000 And you light the bottom of the bowl.
01:22:27.000 The DMT sits inside the bowl.
01:22:29.000 What is the...
01:22:29.000 It looks like a white powder.
01:22:31.000 Like a white, almost yellowish white powder.
01:22:34.000 Depending on which one you take.
01:22:36.000 The 5-methoxy DMT is white.
01:22:38.000 And then the other stuff was more like white with like a little bit of yellow to it.
01:22:42.000 And you take it.
01:22:43.000 It tastes like burnt plastic.
01:22:45.000 It tastes terrible.
01:22:46.000 And you take a big deep breath.
01:22:48.000 You want to take like three big inhales.
01:22:50.000 The first time I did it, I only took one.
01:22:52.000 And I just got to the door.
01:22:54.000 I got like to the door of the DMT dimension. 0.84
01:22:56.000 I was like, what is this?
01:22:57.000 This is weird.
01:22:58.000 It was really weird, but I didn't even know what weird was.
01:23:01.000 Because like 20 minutes later, I did a second one.
01:23:04.000 And the second one, I took way more.
01:23:06.000 I took like three big hits.
01:23:08.000 And then it was almost like you're in a slingshot or a catapult.
01:23:11.000 It was like you could feel the tension.
01:23:14.000 And all of a sudden, you shot through these colors and lights into what felt like some new place.
01:23:25.000 What is your physical doing during all of this?
01:23:27.000 Just laying there.
01:23:29.000 Laying there.
01:23:30.000 One time recently, I did it.
01:23:32.000 The last time I did it was a couple years ago.
01:23:33.000 I opened my eyes.
01:23:35.000 In the middle of it was very strange.
01:23:36.000 It's like I can almost see reality, but it was all real pixelated and it was like I was seeing life through like a Dirty saran wrap or something.
01:23:46.000 It was all was very strange and then I closed my eyes back and I went it's the experience of the psychedelic realm is more vivid than regular life Which is real strange because it doesn't feel like you're on a drug Because you're still you.
01:24:02.000 That's another part of it.
01:24:03.000 It doesn't change your...
01:24:04.000 Like when you're drunk, it changes the way you think.
01:24:07.000 Like you think different.
01:24:09.000 This is not that.
01:24:10.000 This is like you think the same way, but you're being confronted with something that's insanely alien.
01:24:17.000 Just alien to everything that you know to be true.
01:24:20.000 And then there's all these things around you that seem to be alive.
01:24:24.000 And they seem to be talking to you and communicating to you.
01:24:27.000 The last time I did it was a bunch of jokers that were giving me the finger.
01:24:30.000 Like jesters.
01:24:32.000 Jesters with like, you know, they have little bells. 1.00
01:24:34.000 They were all like shaking and giving me the finger and like spinning around like going, fuck you! 1.00
01:24:39.000 They were mocking me. 1.00
01:24:41.000 And the thing that I got from it was like, oh, I take myself too seriously.
01:24:46.000 I need to be mocked.
01:24:47.000 And they were mocking me.
01:24:48.000 And as they were mocking me, I relaxed.
01:24:50.000 And then they pointed at me like, ah, you get it.
01:24:54.000 You get it.
01:24:54.000 You get it.
01:24:55.000 Because you can get lost.
01:24:57.000 You can take yourself seriously and you want others to take you seriously.
01:25:00.000 What is the grossest kind of man, the kind of man who wants everyone to He wants to tremble when he walks into a room, wants rose petals thrown at his feet.
01:25:09.000 He wants everyone to call him sir. 0.74
01:25:11.000 And be uncomfortable. 1.00
01:25:12.000 Yeah, everyone to be uncomfortable because he's a fucking man. 1.00
01:25:15.000 And that kind of guy responds very poorly to being mocked, right? 1.00
01:25:19.000 So I think that it was like letting me know, like, hey, bitch, you got a little of that in you. 1.00
01:25:24.000 You need to get that out of your system. 1.00
01:25:25.000 Especially as a person who's a professional mocker. 0.99
01:25:29.000 I'm a mocker of things.
01:25:31.000 We are stand-up mockers.
01:25:33.000 There's a lot to be mocked.
01:25:34.000 How long does it last for?
01:25:35.000 15 minutes.
01:25:36.000 That's it?
01:25:37.000 Yes.
01:25:38.000 And what about the microdosing?
01:25:40.000 That's similar.
01:25:40.000 This video that you're playing?
01:25:42.000 It's kind of like that, but way more intense.
01:25:45.000 I don't know how this...
01:25:45.000 It's a VR experience called ayahuasca.
01:25:47.000 I don't know how exactly it works.
01:25:50.000 I haven't tried it.
01:25:50.000 Is ayahuasca different?
01:25:51.000 No, it is and no.
01:25:53.000 See, the thing about ayahuasca is it lasts longer because it's orally...
01:25:57.000 See, that's probably more similar.
01:26:00.000 And you can get there on ayahuasca and DMT. It's the same thing.
01:26:05.000 It's dimethyltryptamine.
01:26:06.000 It's just when you're taking it with ayahuasca, your body is processing it orally, and you take it with something called an MAO inhibitor.
01:26:17.000 MAO is monoamine oxidase that's produced by your gut, and it processes DMT naturally that exists in plants.
01:26:25.000 So there's a lot of plants that have DMT in it.
01:26:28.000 And if you were eating grass, like some sort of phalaris grass or something like that, it's really rich in DMT. So if you were eating that, you would get high as fuck. 0.99
01:26:37.000 But monoamine oxidase that's produced by your gut, It breaks that stuff down so it's not orally active. 0.99
01:26:43.000 So if you took some DMT that you would freebase and just ate it, it wouldn't do anything to you because your gut would break it down.
01:26:49.000 But then if you took it with an MAO inhibitor, preferably the kind of plant-based MAO inhibitor that they use in ayahuasca because they know...
01:26:58.000 Those MAO inhibitors that people take, sometimes people take them as a medication, those can be dangerous.
01:27:04.000 They're much more potent.
01:27:06.000 And there's all sorts of weird side effects.
01:27:08.000 I've heard of people taking...
01:27:10.000 Pharmaceutical MAO inhibitors and then they take mushrooms or something else with them and they really can fuck them up like real bad. 0.99
01:27:17.000 Yeah, because they're cross-pollinating their fucking drug use. 1.00
01:27:19.000 You're doing all kinds of wacky shit to your brain that your brain is probably not really designed. 1.00
01:27:23.000 You're redlining your brain. 1.00
01:27:24.000 Your brain may stay together or you might go fucking shine on you crazy diamond. 1.00
01:27:29.000 Yeah, you go off the deep end. 1.00
01:27:31.000 Yeah.
01:27:31.000 Have you had any kind of experience with MDMA or anything?
01:27:36.000 Nope.
01:27:36.000 Nothing?
01:27:36.000 Nothing.
01:27:37.000 Pot?
01:27:38.000 Not good experiences.
01:27:41.000 Even the bad ones are good.
01:27:43.000 The bad pot experiences teach you that regular life is okay.
01:27:47.000 I hit the CBD before I go to bed.
01:27:51.000 That's great.
01:27:51.000 With some THC in it.
01:27:53.000 Oh, okay.
01:27:54.000 Just a little bit to crash you?
01:27:56.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:27:56.000 And I have the fucking weirdest dreams when I'm on them. 0.98
01:27:58.000 Oh, for sure. 0.99
01:28:00.000 Yeah.
01:28:00.000 CBD. Really fucking weird dreams.
01:28:02.000 Just CBD alone, I'm so happy that that stuff's legal for folks with, like, anyone with arthritis or weird aches and pains. 0.95
01:28:10.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:28:10.000 Fucking CBD is a game changer. 0.99
01:28:12.000 It really is. 1.00
01:28:13.000 Yeah, especially the creams.
01:28:13.000 You know, Tyson's one is really good.
01:28:15.000 It's really good.
01:28:16.000 Yeah.
01:28:16.000 He gave me a bunch of it.
01:28:18.000 Yeah.
01:28:18.000 Yeah.
01:28:19.000 I'll call Mike.
01:28:20.000 I'm like, I need some more. 1.00
01:28:21.000 His weed is stupid strong. 1.00
01:28:23.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:28:23.000 He's got crazy weed. 1.00
01:28:24.000 Well, it should be.
01:28:25.000 Yeah, probably. 0.99
01:28:26.000 If you're Mike Tyson, your weed better not be fucking weak. 0.99
01:28:29.000 Right, right. 0.99
01:28:29.000 You can have Mike Tyson weak weed. 0.99
01:28:31.000 What do you think about him fighting?
01:28:33.000 I mean, listen, I'm friends with him, but I'm also a fan.
01:28:38.000 Yeah.
01:28:39.000 And to see him look how he looks now is exciting.
01:28:43.000 It's crazy. 0.99
01:28:44.000 And I talked, you know, it's funny is I talked to him before the video came out of him hitting pads and shit. 0.99
01:28:50.000 We were FaceTiming and I said, Mike, you look good. 0.95
01:28:52.000 He goes, yeah, man, I've been boxing, man.
01:28:53.000 I feel really good.
01:28:54.000 And I said, that's great.
01:28:56.000 He goes, yeah, man, I bet I've felt in a long time.
01:28:58.000 I might even have a fight.
01:28:59.000 I said, what?
01:29:00.000 I go, yeah, man, I may have like an exhibition or something.
01:29:03.000 You know, you want to work my corner?
01:29:05.000 I was like, yeah, that'll go well, Mike. 0.99
01:29:07.000 Fucking something bad happens. 0.99
01:29:08.000 Russell Peters fucked up Mike Tyson's... 0.99
01:29:10.000 Well, he'll have, I'm sure, Javier Cordero, who's been working with him, he'll probably have him in his corner. 0.57
01:29:15.000 You know?
01:29:16.000 Yeah.
01:29:17.000 There's talk of that John Jones fighting him. 0.99
01:29:19.000 No, John's just fucking around. 1.00
01:29:21.000 I guarantee John's fucking around. 1.00
01:29:22.000 He even said he would fight him in a boxing match as long as Mike would fight him in an MMA fight. 0.99
01:29:26.000 Yeah, no, that's not good.
01:29:27.000 He said, but he promised he wouldn't hurt him.
01:29:28.000 He wouldn't break anything on him.
01:29:30.000 Yeah, no, like, listen, the boxer cannot go into an MMA ring.
01:29:34.000 Not with John.
01:29:35.000 As much as John kicks your legs, John would probably just wrestle him to the ground and take him down.
01:29:41.000 That's like when James Toney fought Randy Couture.
01:29:43.000 That was a rough one, man.
01:29:45.000 That was a rough one.
01:29:47.000 I kind of knew that James wasn't really training for that, though.
01:29:50.000 He just took the payday.
01:29:52.000 Yeah, but he's naturally a tough guy, James Toney.
01:29:55.000 Sure.
01:29:55.000 Never been knocked down.
01:29:56.000 You know what that does for you?
01:29:58.000 That gets you beat up longer.
01:29:59.000 Yeah, it does. 0.99
01:29:59.000 It makes your brain get really fucking messy. 0.99
01:30:02.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:30:02.000 You're scrambling those eggs. 0.98
01:30:04.000 Nobody talked better shit during sparring sessions than James Toney. 0.99
01:30:08.000 Oh, those are my favorites. 0.99
01:30:09.000 There's so many videos. 1.00
01:30:10.000 What you got, bitch? 1.00
01:30:11.000 That's it? 1.00
01:30:11.000 That's all you got? 1.00
01:30:12.000 That's all you got? 1.00
01:30:13.000 Come on, bitch. 1.00
01:30:14.000 I talk shit when I'm rolling with people. 1.00
01:30:16.000 Oh, do you? 1.00
01:30:17.000 But I talk funny shit. 1.00
01:30:18.000 Oh, right, right, right. 0.99
01:30:20.000 Something will happen, I'll lose position or something, and I'll go, oh, that was a mistake. 0.99
01:30:23.000 And I'll do anything I can to fuck with their mood, to make them laugh so it throws them off. 0.99
01:30:29.000 Oh, okay. 1.00
01:30:30.000 Even with John Jack, I do it.
01:30:31.000 I'm going to remember that.
01:30:32.000 When I'm rolling with John Jack, I'll be like, you were made for hitchhiking, not jiu-jitsu.
01:30:39.000 You see the people in the class like, oh my god!
01:30:41.000 I'm like, we're friends.
01:30:42.000 We're good.
01:30:43.000 That's hilarious.
01:30:43.000 John Jack's the godfather of my son.
01:30:45.000 Is he really?
01:30:46.000 Yeah.
01:30:46.000 He's a great person.
01:30:48.000 He is a great guy.
01:30:48.000 He really is.
01:30:49.000 I feel real lucky that I met him.
01:30:51.000 You could run into any jiu-jitsu instructor.
01:30:53.000 I just stumbled upon him because it was closer to my area.
01:30:57.000 It was closer to my house.
01:30:59.000 And then he turns out to be one of the best ever.
01:31:01.000 One of the best ever.
01:31:02.000 And just so technical, too.
01:31:04.000 Like, just the way he breaks things down.
01:31:06.000 And his ego is so healthy.
01:31:08.000 Like, he's, like, real easy to roll with.
01:31:10.000 Yeah.
01:31:10.000 And he's a rare guy that's, like, 50 years old that still rolls all the time and doesn't get hurt.
01:31:15.000 Doesn't get hurt.
01:31:15.000 Kind of amazing.
01:31:16.000 I think he hurt his knee for a little bit, but it's gotten better, I think.
01:31:19.000 Yeah.
01:31:20.000 Meniscus tear.
01:31:21.000 Yeah.
01:31:21.000 He never had to get it operated on.
01:31:22.000 Oh, really?
01:31:23.000 Yeah.
01:31:23.000 How did he fix it?
01:31:24.000 I don't know.
01:31:25.000 Just healed, I guess.
01:31:26.000 He went to the doctor and...
01:31:28.000 He said it's fine now.
01:31:30.000 That's amazing.
01:31:31.000 Yeah.
01:31:31.000 How's your shoulder?
01:31:32.000 Everything's good, man.
01:31:33.000 It's all good.
01:31:34.000 When my finger's better, we'll roll again.
01:31:35.000 Yeah.
01:31:36.000 What's wrong with your finger? 1.00
01:31:36.000 I fucking... 1.00
01:31:37.000 This middle one, I jammed it. 0.99
01:31:40.000 Oh.
01:31:40.000 I got swept by Mark Armstrong.
01:31:43.000 And I went to post.
01:31:44.000 And when I went to post, instead of my hand hitting like this, my finger went straight.
01:31:48.000 Ooh.
01:31:48.000 Have you ever used tape on it?
01:31:50.000 No, you know what's funny is I usually have those...
01:31:53.000 Finger grips? 1.00
01:31:54.000 Yeah, the fucking ones that I use. 0.99
01:31:57.000 But you know what you could do is you take athletic tape and you tape two fingers together to protect it. 0.99
01:32:01.000 Well, I usually have those on.
01:32:02.000 Oh, okay. 1.00
01:32:03.000 The Aluta gear, that shit. 1.00
01:32:04.000 I usually have it on. 1.00
01:32:06.000 And that fucking one day I didn't wear it. 0.99
01:32:08.000 Oh. 0.99
01:32:09.000 I don't know why I didn't wear it that day. 0.99
01:32:11.000 And then that's the fucking day I did it. 0.95
01:32:13.000 Yeah, if you jam one, you can just tape two together. 0.97
01:32:16.000 I jam both of these.
01:32:18.000 Oh, yeah?
01:32:18.000 This one's fine now, but this one's still really sort of like I'm holding a cup of coffee and it hurts because this angle, you know?
01:32:24.000 Yeah, just tape them all up.
01:32:26.000 So if you tape them all up, it'll almost be like you have like one grip, which is all you need anyway, you know?
01:32:31.000 Like you very rarely use like individual fingers.
01:32:34.000 Yeah, no, no.
01:32:35.000 Yeah, just tape them all up.
01:32:36.000 Tape them together.
01:32:37.000 Get some of that white athletic tape.
01:32:38.000 Or they have jiu-jitsu tape.
01:32:39.000 Like, I think it's called monkey tape.
01:32:41.000 Monkey grip. 1.00
01:32:42.000 See if you find that shit. 1.00
01:32:43.000 Monkey grip tape. 1.00
01:32:44.000 Probably sell it at that fight supply store.
01:32:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:32:48.000 I'm sure.
01:32:48.000 But, yeah.
01:32:50.000 I mean, a lot of guys.
01:32:52.000 Like, that was...
01:32:53.000 Hickson was famous for that.
01:32:54.000 You'd go to see him.
01:32:54.000 He's always injured because he was constantly rolling.
01:32:57.000 So he had...
01:32:57.000 Tape all over the place and everything.
01:32:58.000 Yeah, Hickson's back is fucked and his knees. 1.00
01:33:01.000 It's real bad. 1.00
01:33:01.000 Eddie's got bad knees, though, doesn't he? 1.00
01:33:03.000 Yep, yep.
01:33:04.000 Yeah, there it is.
01:33:05.000 Monkey tape.
01:33:06.000 That's it.
01:33:07.000 So that's tape just specifically designed for jiu-jitsu.
01:33:12.000 The monkey tape mafia.
01:33:14.000 Yeah.
01:33:16.000 Yeah, I should get that.
01:33:17.000 Good stuff.
01:33:17.000 I do need that.
01:33:18.000 It looks really thin.
01:33:20.000 Yeah, but that's also so you can move it around the joints.
01:33:25.000 It's still solid. 0.99
01:33:27.000 Look, they know what the fuck they're doing. 0.99
01:33:28.000 They have thick stuff, too. 0.98
01:33:30.000 But a lot of guys like that thin stuff because you can get in between the fingers real good and tape it up nice.
01:33:35.000 I'm going to get that zebra pack.
01:33:37.000 There you go.
01:33:38.000 Get a little white, a little black. 0.96
01:33:40.000 Mix it up.
01:33:41.000 I need that done. 0.99
01:33:42.000 Yeah, fucking that hurt. 1.00
01:33:43.000 That shit hurt. 1.00
01:33:43.000 I screamed. 1.00
01:33:44.000 Yeah, it hurts.
01:33:45.000 That's the thing about jujitsu you're gonna have to deal with.
01:33:47.000 You're gonna get injured. 0.83
01:33:48.000 Yeah, and then one day I was rolling and I I don't know my fucking my foot or ankle cramped And it just started to turn on its own. 0.95
01:33:58.000 The muscle spasmed. 0.94
01:33:59.000 Oh no.
01:33:59.000 My ankle was turning in on itself.
01:34:01.000 Everyone was like, did you break his ankle? 0.98
01:34:02.000 I can't fucking stop my foot. 0.98
01:34:04.000 It's just turning. 0.97
01:34:05.000 Just a cramp.
01:34:05.000 A cramp.
01:34:06.000 But the muscle spasmed and my ankle just kept turning in like the fucking exorcist. 0.97
01:34:10.000 I used to get cramps and then I started taking electrolytes like regularly every day. 0.94
01:34:15.000 Yeah, I think that's what I need to do.
01:34:16.000 Changed everything.
01:34:17.000 Liquid IV. It's one of my sponsors.
01:34:18.000 I'll give you something.
01:34:19.000 Yeah, please.
01:34:20.000 Dude, changed everything.
01:34:23.000 Complete game changer.
01:34:24.000 Yeah.
01:34:24.000 Because I used to get cramps.
01:34:26.000 I used to get cramps when I was working out.
01:34:27.000 I just thought it was part of working out.
01:34:29.000 But then I started drinking this stuff in my water before I work out, during my workouts.
01:34:33.000 Yeah.
01:34:33.000 I drink it after I get out of the sauna.
01:34:35.000 I get the cramp in the back of the hamstring there, sometimes in the calf.
01:34:39.000 Dude, electrolytes are everything.
01:34:40.000 It's so, so important for your body.
01:34:44.000 You know, hydration and electrolytes.
01:34:46.000 Sometimes I'm trying to, you know, I put somebody in a body lock or something, and then I can't hold it because I get in a cramp. 1.00
01:34:52.000 Like, fuck! 1.00
01:34:53.000 The same cramp you get when you're fucking. 1.00
01:34:55.000 You know that one? 1.00
01:34:55.000 Ooh, that one. 1.00
01:34:56.000 The fuck cramp. 1.00
01:34:57.000 The toe one. 1.00
01:34:58.000 Ah!
01:34:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:34:59.000 The bottom of the foot.
01:35:00.000 Yikes! 1.00
01:35:01.000 Yeah, the toe Disney. 1.00
01:35:02.000 I hate that shit. 0.99
01:35:04.000 Yeah, cramps are rough, but you could do something about that, and it's pretty quick. 1.00
01:35:09.000 You take that stuff for a few days and your cramps will go away.
01:35:12.000 You can work out real hard and never get cramps again.
01:35:15.000 I'm definitely going to take some off you.
01:35:16.000 Yeah, it's potassium. 0.98
01:35:18.000 The one that I like, there's a bunch of really good ones, but Liquid IV is one of my sponsors, and it's got all kinds of great shit in it. 0.94
01:35:26.000 B vitamins, potassium. 0.95
01:35:28.000 It tastes good, too.
01:35:29.000 Flavor they got?
01:35:30.000 A bunch of different flavors.
01:35:31.000 They got acai.
01:35:34.000 For the Brazilians? 0.88
01:35:35.000 Yes.
01:35:35.000 My friend, Poha.
01:35:37.000 Oh, did I ever tell you that story?
01:35:39.000 Which one?
01:35:41.000 I think one time after I did one of your podcasts, a guy hits me up on Instagram.
01:35:45.000 He was like, hey, I'm so excited that you're doing jiu-jitsu, man.
01:35:48.000 I make mouth guards.
01:35:49.000 I want to make you a personal mouth guard. 0.72
01:35:51.000 That's great, man.
01:35:52.000 He goes, what do you want on it?
01:35:54.000 I go, oh, I know exactly what I want on it.
01:35:57.000 So I tell him what I want, and he sends it.
01:35:59.000 Poha?
01:36:00.000 I get to the academy, and I go, JJ, I got a mouth guard.
01:36:05.000 He goes, good, you're going to need it!
01:36:06.000 And then I put it in, and I get on the mat, and I smile, and he goes, ha! 1.00
01:36:12.000 Why do you want cum in your mouth? 0.99
01:36:13.000 I go, what? 1.00
01:36:15.000 He goes, poha, it means cum. 0.93
01:36:17.000 I go, why do you say it all the time? 0.80
01:36:18.000 Yeah, it doesn't mean it when we say it, but that's actually what it means.
01:36:22.000 It means a bunch of things. 0.99
01:36:23.000 Yeah, but the actual word means cum, and I'm like, ah, fuck, I never wore the thing again. 0.99
01:36:27.000 But it means different things. 0.98
01:36:29.000 Like Gilbert Burns, who's fighting Kamaru Usman for the title, he always yells it after he wins.
01:36:35.000 He wins and he yells, poha!
01:36:37.000 Yeah, because they use it like that.
01:36:39.000 But it means different things.
01:36:40.000 But it's the same way Malacca means jerk-off in Greek, but they'll say to him, Malacca, what are you doing?
01:36:45.000 Hey, how you been, Malacca?
01:36:47.000 That's like a Joey Diaz thing. 0.99
01:36:48.000 You call you jerk-off. 1.00
01:36:49.000 Hey, jerk-off. 0.99
01:36:50.000 Yeah, it's the same thing, but it doesn't mean it. 0.98
01:36:52.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
01:36:52.000 But the actual meaning of this apparently is fucking cum, and he's laughing hysterically. 0.99
01:36:58.000 You ever seen Jean-Jacques laugh like that? 0.99
01:36:59.000 It's pretty fucking funny. 1.00
01:37:01.000 Hey, why don't you go put the cum back in your mouth? 1.00
01:37:03.000 Oh, man. 1.00
01:37:04.000 That's hilarious.
01:37:04.000 So if the guy is listening who made me the mouthpiece, can you make me another one that just says my name?
01:37:08.000 Just deal with it. 1.00
01:37:09.000 Just deal with cum in your mouth. 1.00
01:37:11.000 That's the big deal, bro. 1.00
01:37:12.000 Girls have been dealing with it for years. 1.00
01:37:13.000 You know.
01:37:14.000 Just handle it. 1.00
01:37:15.000 Like a fucking gentleman. 1.00
01:37:17.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:37:17.000 Who made your mouth guard? 1.00
01:37:19.000 I forgot their name. 1.00
01:37:20.000 Oh, there's a guy, the mouthpiece guy, makes dope shit. 1.00
01:37:23.000 I wonder if that was him. 0.99
01:37:24.000 It'll fit perfectly.
01:37:25.000 This one didn't fit perfectly, though.
01:37:27.000 Oh, okay.
01:37:28.000 It was a spec, I guess.
01:37:31.000 A spec?
01:37:31.000 A spec one.
01:37:32.000 He was like, hey, he didn't measure me or nothing.
01:37:34.000 Oh, they have to do the mouth print, though.
01:37:39.000 I had one of those from boxing.
01:37:41.000 Yeah.
01:37:42.000 And I left that at my old guy I was training with out here.
01:37:46.000 I left it at his gym years ago.
01:37:47.000 I don't think I want it back now.
01:37:49.000 No.
01:37:50.000 No, you need a new one.
01:37:51.000 But what they'll do for like a guy who makes professional ones, like the mouthpiece guy, makes them for a lot of MMA guys.
01:37:57.000 It's like you have this thing that you sit your teeth into.
01:38:01.000 Like a dentist.
01:38:01.000 And it's nasty.
01:38:03.000 Yes, it's nasty.
01:38:04.000 And then it'll form, and then they'll put the design around it.
01:38:08.000 Make a top and bottom one?
01:38:10.000 They can make a top and bottom one, yeah.
01:38:11.000 What do you like?
01:38:12.000 I like just a top one for jiu-jitsu, but for striking, I'd like a top and bottom one.
01:38:17.000 Because I do need it now, because I find I'm grinding my teeth when I'm rolling.
01:38:20.000 Yeah.
01:38:21.000 It's hard to breathe out of your nose, but there's a lot of real benefit to breathing out of your nose.
01:38:26.000 There really is.
01:38:27.000 You know, sometimes you're going to breathe out of your mouth, but there's real benefit to primarily breathing out of your nose.
01:38:32.000 And I'm reading a book now.
01:38:34.000 I think James Nestor.
01:38:37.000 It is a book that's about...
01:38:40.000 Yeah, sure.
01:38:41.000 Get in there, son.
01:38:42.000 It's a book that...
01:38:44.000 It's called Breath, and it's by this guy James Nestor, and I've been listening to it on audiobook.
01:38:50.000 Is your nose broken at all?
01:38:53.000 Yes, but I got it fixed.
01:38:54.000 I got it fixed like 10 years ago, and it made a huge difference.
01:38:58.000 Mine is still broken.
01:38:59.000 So you can't breathe out of it well.
01:39:01.000 Not properly.
01:39:02.000 Get it fixed, man.
01:39:03.000 I want to.
01:39:04.000 While you're on lockdown, now's the time.
01:39:05.000 That's what I thought, but they're like, no, I can't do that right now.
01:39:07.000 That's elective, right?
01:39:09.000 Oh.
01:39:09.000 But I think they can do elective surgeries now.
01:39:12.000 I think there's something to eat in a knife.
01:39:14.000 No, it's...
01:39:15.000 You alright?
01:39:16.000 You know what you're doing?
01:39:17.000 Yeah, I'm a little...
01:39:18.000 Struggling. 0.99
01:39:19.000 I am fucking struggling. 0.99
01:39:20.000 Need some help? 0.99
01:39:20.000 Yeah, go ahead, Joe. 0.99
01:39:22.000 Get your fucking monkey grips all over it there, kid. 1.00
01:39:26.000 Jesus Christ, Rambo. 1.00
01:39:27.000 I didn't think you'd pull that fucking thing out. 1.00
01:39:29.000 Tuck more custom knives in the house. 1.00
01:39:32.000 You also have the best shit. 1.00
01:39:34.000 It's so dope. 1.00
01:39:36.000 Every time you post something, I go, it's so fucking cool.
01:39:38.000 Like the fridge you posted the other day. 0.97
01:39:39.000 Yeah, that's Kill Cliff.
01:39:41.000 You gotta try those things, man.
01:39:42.000 CBD drinks.
01:39:44.000 Get your 25 milligrams of CBD with each little serving there, fella.
01:39:48.000 Does it do anything?
01:39:49.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:39:50.000 CBD is a fucking great period. 0.98
01:39:52.000 Get as much of it as you can. 0.99
01:39:54.000 Take 100 milligrams at a time.
01:39:56.000 For me, it equates sleep for me now.
01:39:59.000 It does that too.
01:40:00.000 It alleviates anxiety, but it's really good for people that have joint issues.
01:40:05.000 Really good for people with arthritis.
01:40:07.000 I used to have really bad arthritis in my fingers.
01:40:09.000 It seems to be gone away.
01:40:10.000 I've been taking these curcumin pills.
01:40:13.000 Oh, okay.
01:40:14.000 Curcumin.
01:40:15.000 Curcumin.
01:40:15.000 That's turmeric.
01:40:16.000 Same thing.
01:40:17.000 Yeah.
01:40:17.000 Yeah, apparently the curcumin is 500 times more absorbable, like faster absorbency.
01:40:23.000 That makes sense.
01:40:24.000 Yeah, there's a lot of natural things for inflammation, but the big one is avoiding things that cause inflammation, like with your diet.
01:40:32.000 Like get rid of bread.
01:40:33.000 Take bread and pasta out of your diet.
01:40:36.000 So many of your little aches and pains will go away.
01:40:38.000 Yeah, I don't really have many aches and pains anymore.
01:40:40.000 It's kind of nice.
01:40:41.000 That's awesome.
01:40:42.000 Yeah.
01:40:42.000 Are you doing just jujitsu or do you supplement it with any calisthenics or weightlifting or anything?
01:40:48.000 Well, no.
01:40:48.000 I just do jujitsu and then I ride my bike now.
01:40:50.000 Oh, that's cool.
01:40:51.000 I go for these five-mile bike rides.
01:40:52.000 Around your neighborhood or something?
01:40:53.000 Yeah.
01:40:54.000 And I got that motor assist one, so it's kind of nice.
01:40:56.000 Oh, that's not real.
01:40:57.000 The power assist one. 1.00
01:40:58.000 No, it's good because those fucking hills in my community are killer, dude. 0.99
01:41:01.000 You can't handle the hills? 1.00
01:41:02.000 No, hell no.
01:41:03.000 That's where it's supposed to work.
01:41:05.000 You still have to work.
01:41:06.000 It's not like it's pedaling for you.
01:41:08.000 Oh, I know.
01:41:08.000 I got a buddy of mine who has one.
01:41:09.000 I love that bike.
01:41:10.000 It's awesome.
01:41:11.000 They're fun.
01:41:12.000 They're okay.
01:41:13.000 It's better to have a regular bike.
01:41:14.000 Don't suffer.
01:41:15.000 Yeah.
01:41:16.000 I'll take, you know, I'll wait until it gets too easy and then I'll step it up from there, you know?
01:41:20.000 Dude, just get one kettlebell.
01:41:22.000 I've got one.
01:41:23.000 I think, I don't know if you sent it to me.
01:41:26.000 Onnit sent it to me.
01:41:27.000 They sent me the Iron Man one.
01:41:28.000 Okay.
01:41:29.000 Beautiful.
01:41:30.000 Yeah.
01:41:30.000 It's good.
01:41:31.000 That's a good one.
01:41:31.000 It's 45 pounds.
01:41:32.000 It's a good size.
01:41:33.000 And they sent me one of those, two of those jugglers bats. 0.99
01:41:36.000 Those are fucking deadly heavy. 0.99
01:41:38.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:41:39.000 Those are great. 0.99
01:41:39.000 I got weak wrists, so that shit hurts when I do those. 0.99
01:41:42.000 They're really good for your shoulders, really good for your forearms, grip strength, all that stuff. 0.97
01:41:46.000 Yeah, we have a bunch of programs that John Wolf, the head fitness instructor at Onnit, put together during this quarantine so people can work out at home with minimal equipment, home workouts for six weeks.
01:42:00.000 They're big.
01:42:01.000 Get on that, buddy.
01:42:03.000 Well, I was dropping good weight off the jiu-jitsu.
01:42:07.000 Yeah.
01:42:08.000 Jiu-Jitsu plus stress equals weight loss for me, really.
01:42:13.000 Regardless of what you eat.
01:42:14.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:42:14.000 I went from when I started back at Jiu-Jitsu, I was 240 pounds, which is fucking huge. 0.98
01:42:21.000 You got big, huh? 0.99
01:42:22.000 Fat. 0.66
01:42:22.000 You saw me. 0.66
01:42:23.000 Yeah. 0.97
01:42:23.000 You knew I was fat, but you're just too fucking nice to say it. 0.97
01:42:26.000 I'm not nice to everybody. 0.98
01:42:27.000 I know.
01:42:29.000 Well, listen, you know what?
01:42:30.000 I don't know that because I've only seen you be nice to people.
01:42:33.000 Except for a couple of times I've seen some rando stranger end up in the green room. 0.99
01:42:37.000 You're like, dude, you got to get the fuck out of here. 0.99
01:42:39.000 No, but I'm a big fish. 0.99
01:42:40.000 Yeah, that's fine.
01:42:41.000 Thank you. 0.96
01:42:42.000 Can you get the fuck out of my green room now? 1.00
01:42:43.000 Get out of the green room. 0.99
01:42:44.000 Well, there's a few of those guys who made it to the back of the main room.
01:42:47.000 Yeah.
01:42:47.000 They just walked back there, and then they would ask for stuff, and you'd be like, who is this guy?
01:42:52.000 Yeah.
01:42:52.000 What are you doing here?
01:42:53.000 Yeah.
01:42:54.000 Yeah, but that's the old days.
01:42:55.000 The Comedy Store's pretty tightened down, or was before COVID, tightened down with security.
01:43:00.000 I'm wondering when they're going to open up again, man.
01:43:02.000 Well, they were talking September, weren't they?
01:43:04.000 Late September, early October?
01:43:06.000 Is that what they're saying now?
01:43:07.000 Well, that's what I had heard before this double lockdown now.
01:43:10.000 Jesus Christ.
01:43:11.000 Speaking of lockdown, that's what you tried to do to me when we rolled.
01:43:13.000 Yes.
01:43:14.000 And I tapped on the way to it.
01:43:17.000 You had me in a calf slicer.
01:43:19.000 No, you thought it was a calf slicer.
01:43:20.000 Well, you know who thought it was a calf slicer? 1.00
01:43:22.000 My fucking calf thought it was a calf slicer, Joseph. 0.99
01:43:25.000 I was just using, I was going into a twister role. 1.00
01:43:28.000 I was going to put you in a twister. 0.97
01:43:29.000 Yeah, why would you do that to me?
01:43:31.000 You know, you're nice to me, but why would you want to twist me like that?
01:43:34.000 It's not that bad!
01:43:35.000 It's not that bad.
01:43:36.000 For the guy doing it, it's not that bad.
01:43:38.000 I've been caught in a twister multiple times.
01:43:40.000 It's just you tapped in the roll.
01:43:43.000 That's what happened.
01:43:44.000 Yeah.
01:43:44.000 It was my calf.
01:43:45.000 I was like, ah!
01:43:45.000 You didn't enjoy it.
01:43:46.000 But that's probably because you need electrolytes.
01:43:49.000 That's probably what it is. 0.99
01:43:50.000 Or maybe I don't need a fucking shin. 1.00
01:43:52.000 Your bitch-ass shins, by the way, on my fucking calf. 1.00
01:43:55.000 You just need to know how to defend it. 1.00
01:43:57.000 You can't let me roll you in that way.
01:43:59.000 Well, now, I mean, now I probably have better defense for it.
01:44:02.000 It's a natural instinct, really.
01:44:04.000 It's like what people don't want to do is give up their back, right?
01:44:07.000 So if you're inside controlling a person, what they don't want to do is give up their back.
01:44:11.000 So they don't want to roll away from you.
01:44:13.000 So they roll towards you.
01:44:14.000 But when they roll towards you, you take that top leg, which would be their left leg, and I lace my left leg over and under and I lock it down. 0.98
01:44:22.000 Then I sit up and I roll towards your butt. 0.95
01:44:25.000 And then as I roll towards your butt, it spins you and I wind up on your back. 0.99
01:44:30.000 Yes. 0.99
01:44:31.000 I remember.
01:44:33.000 Remember clearly.
01:44:34.000 That's Eddie Bravo. 1.00
01:44:35.000 That's all Eddie Bravo shit. 1.00
01:44:36.000 Fucking Eddie. 1.00
01:44:37.000 Yeah, he's trying to figure out different ways to get to the back and get to the twister and then get to, there's a bunch of leg locks you can do from those positions too. 0.99
01:44:44.000 I'm not a leg locker, yeah. 0.76
01:44:45.000 That's it.
01:44:46.000 Looks like Eddie and Andrew Schultz doing jiu-jitsu.
01:44:49.000 It does look like Andrew Schultz, but it's not.
01:44:52.000 That's Henner Gracie.
01:44:54.000 I saw Henner Gracie on my Instagram feed selling sweatshirts.
01:44:58.000 Yeah, he made up his own sweatshirt.
01:45:00.000 It's kind of a cool idea.
01:45:01.000 Yeah, it becomes a backpack.
01:45:02.000 It folds up into a backpack and it's like if you're on the go...
01:45:07.000 I kind of get it.
01:45:08.000 I mean, I don't see...
01:45:09.000 I've never been in that desperate... 0.99
01:45:11.000 Where I'm like, fuck, this sweatshirt is killing me! 0.99
01:45:14.000 What am I doing? 0.99
01:45:15.000 You have no storage? 1.00
01:45:16.000 Son of a bitch! 1.00
01:45:17.000 You don't have a car or a hotel room or something? 1.00
01:45:20.000 Give it to somebody.
01:45:21.000 Hey, you cold?
01:45:21.000 You look chilly.
01:45:22.000 You want to wear this?
01:45:23.000 Wrap it around your neck.
01:45:24.000 It's a big deal.
01:45:25.000 Tie it around your waist.
01:45:26.000 I, um... 1.00
01:45:29.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00
01:45:29.000 Oh, did you ever download that mix I sent you? 1.00
01:45:32.000 What mix?
01:45:32.000 I sent you a metal mix, like an 80s metal mix.
01:45:36.000 It's actually really dope.
01:45:37.000 When did you do this?
01:45:37.000 How long ago?
01:45:37.000 In December I sent it to you.
01:45:39.000 When we were having dinner, I said, John, I'm going to email it to you.
01:45:41.000 Dude, my brain is so foggy.
01:45:44.000 You'd really like it.
01:45:45.000 Whatever happened from December on?
01:45:48.000 It's still probably in your inbox somewhere.
01:45:50.000 Probably.
01:45:50.000 I'll go find it.
01:45:51.000 But what is it?
01:45:52.000 It's a buddy of mine, Scotty Fox.
01:45:54.000 He's a DJ and he does these really dope, really well put together mixtapes.
01:46:00.000 Yeah.
01:46:00.000 And it's not like a lot of, there's no scratching.
01:46:02.000 It's just like really well programmed and mixed to the point where you're like, that flowed from beginning to end fucking incredibly. 0.95
01:46:11.000 Yeah.
01:46:11.000 You are big into being a DJ. 35 years.
01:46:15.000 Are you doing any of that while you're in lockdown?
01:46:19.000 Are you having like little parties at your house or anything?
01:46:21.000 No, I go on live every now and then and DJ for a little bit.
01:46:24.000 Instagram locks, shuts people out when they're playing music and they try to claim...
01:46:27.000 They do?
01:46:28.000 Yeah, dude.
01:46:29.000 They kick you off and they say you violated copyrights.
01:46:32.000 Did you see the RZA and DJ premiere when they did it?
01:46:34.000 How awesome was that? 0.99
01:46:35.000 That was fucking amazing. 0.97
01:46:36.000 And I love both of them, but I really feel like Primo went easy on RZA. Oh my goodness. 0.98
01:46:43.000 I do.
01:46:44.000 Is that what you really think?
01:46:45.000 I do.
01:46:45.000 Listen, I'm friends with both of them, but...
01:46:47.000 What are you trying to say?
01:46:48.000 I'm trying to say that... 0.99
01:46:50.000 Primo had a lot more ammo in his fucking arsenal that he didn't use. 0.99
01:46:54.000 I didn't understand it was a true battle. 0.99
01:46:55.000 I thought it was just a performance.
01:46:57.000 No.
01:46:58.000 A battle.
01:46:59.000 It's a battle.
01:46:59.000 Song for song.
01:47:00.000 And it's like, oh, you got that?
01:47:01.000 I got this. 0.95
01:47:02.000 And then RZA did pull out something, and I'm embarrassed that I didn't fucking know he produced it. 0.92
01:47:06.000 It was Long Kiss Goodnight by Biggie. 0.89
01:47:08.000 I didn't know RZA did that beat.
01:47:10.000 I didn't know that either. 0.98
01:47:11.000 And I was like, fuck, that's one of my favorite Biggie songs, too. 0.98
01:47:13.000 It was just cool because you were watching these two hip-hop legends that were making the most of the pandemic. 0.98
01:47:19.000 They were in the middle of this weird thing where everybody's at home, and so you knew so many people.
01:47:24.000 Millions of people were watching live.
01:47:26.000 Yeah, well, Swiss Beats started that, the Versus thing.
01:47:29.000 And then they did Teddy Riley versus Babyface, which was incredible as well.
01:47:35.000 The first one was hilarious.
01:47:36.000 I didn't get a chance to watch the Jada fabulous one yet. 0.99
01:47:40.000 The fucking Beanie Man vs. 0.99
01:47:42.000 Bounty Keller was incredible. 0.99
01:47:44.000 What is this page, Jamie?
01:47:45.000 It's Versus.
01:47:47.000 Yeah, it turned into a whole platform and brand, and now it might even be a show, and they're linked to Apple.
01:47:52.000 What is the name?
01:47:53.000 Go back up so we can see that.
01:47:55.000 Versus with a Z. Yeah, versus. 0.93
01:47:56.000 V-E-R-Z-U-Z TV. Versus TV. Yeah, versus.
01:48:01.000 It's so-and-so versus, versus, versus.
01:48:04.000 And how many followers do they have on this?
01:48:05.000 1.9 million.
01:48:07.000 It's crazy.
01:48:08.000 Well, you know, it's fun how things arise from necessity, from things like COVID. Like we were talking about Andrew Schultz created that COVID comedy, like he's doing these videos.
01:48:17.000 And it arrived from not being able to create and do stand-up.
01:48:21.000 Well, you know, he was already on the way to setting up that studio that he has.
01:48:25.000 Yes. 0.99
01:48:26.000 And then it just fucking, you know... 0.99
01:48:28.000 Perfect timing. 0.99
01:48:28.000 Perfect timing. 0.99
01:48:29.000 And the kid's incredible.
01:48:30.000 I'm a fan.
01:48:32.000 I'm a big fan of him.
01:48:33.000 Before all of that, I was a fan.
01:48:35.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:48:35.000 He's a hustler. 0.99
01:48:36.000 He's a hustler and he's really fucking good. 1.00
01:48:38.000 Yep. 1.00
01:48:39.000 Yeah.
01:48:39.000 Not mad at that guy's success at all.
01:48:41.000 But I feel that he should have way more success than he has.
01:48:44.000 He's got a lot of success and will have more.
01:48:45.000 Yeah, he will.
01:48:46.000 He's the future.
01:48:47.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:48:48.000 Yeah.
01:48:49.000 There's a good crop.
01:48:50.000 There's a good crop of up-and-coming guys.
01:48:52.000 Yeah.
01:48:53.000 I just love the fact that people make lemonade.
01:48:56.000 They figure out a way.
01:48:57.000 They're like, okay, what can I do here?
01:48:59.000 I've got some lemons.
01:49:01.000 This ain't good, but let's figure out how to make this into something good.
01:49:04.000 This is really sour.
01:49:05.000 What should we do with this?
01:49:07.000 And that's something that you don't always see from people. 0.99
01:49:10.000 There's a lot of woe is me guys when the shit hits the fan. 0.98
01:49:14.000 I feel a woe to myself sometimes, but I'm also very aware that I am the reason I'm woeing. 0.99
01:49:21.000 Even when I text you, I'm like, you know, that sucks.
01:49:24.000 And I go, it's my fault, Joe.
01:49:26.000 I'm all about accountability, you know?
01:49:28.000 You are.
01:49:28.000 Yeah.
01:49:29.000 And your fault is your fault.
01:49:31.000 You can't pass the buck. 1.00
01:49:33.000 No matter what situation you're in in your life, you fucking got yourself there. 1.00
01:49:37.000 Sometimes it's good to go through that shit though, right? 1.00
01:49:39.000 It's a personal growth moment. 1.00
01:49:41.000 Absolutely.
01:49:42.000 Opportunity for you to recalibrate. 0.99
01:49:44.000 I think I used to be a pussy hound. 1.00
01:49:45.000 What? 0.99
01:49:46.000 Yeah, I know.
01:49:47.000 You?
01:49:47.000 But not anymore, that's for sure.
01:49:49.000 I got fucking PTSD, dude. 0.99
01:49:50.000 I'm not fucking... 1.00
01:49:52.000 PTSD from pussy. 1.00
01:49:54.000 I'm literally like, you know what? 1.00
01:49:55.000 I'm good.
01:49:56.000 I got Pornhub.
01:49:57.000 I'm quite happy with that.
01:49:59.000 My selections.
01:50:02.000 I know how to love myself.
01:50:04.000 Whoa.
01:50:05.000 We're getting heavy here, bro.
01:50:08.000 We gotta do something.
01:50:09.000 There was dead moments and it's my fault.
01:50:12.000 What are you gonna do?
01:50:15.000 It's hard, man.
01:50:16.000 Some good cigars, man.
01:50:18.000 They're good, right?
01:50:18.000 Yeah.
01:50:19.000 Shout out to Mike Binder.
01:50:20.000 I like Mike Binder.
01:50:21.000 Such a good guy.
01:50:24.000 I'm looking forward to that doc when it comes out.
01:50:25.000 It's going to be interesting, you know, because it details so many generations and so many different versions of the store, you know, from the very early days in the 70s to what was really the last, you know, the last few years was this incredible boom that was unprecedented.
01:50:41.000 By the way, I mentioned you in that when I was doing the interview.
01:50:45.000 He said, what do you think is one of the reasons for the renaissance here at the Comedy Store?
01:50:50.000 And I said, I'll be honest, I think it's Joe Rogan.
01:50:53.000 Joe Rogan came here, came back, and he brought a lot of people with him.
01:50:56.000 And he swears by this place.
01:50:59.000 And I said, I really don't think it would be what it is without him.
01:51:02.000 That's very nice of you.
01:51:03.000 Well, it's true.
01:51:05.000 I wouldn't just say it to say it, but I said it.
01:51:07.000 I appreciate that.
01:51:08.000 It's a fact.
01:51:09.000 Well, it became a, you know, a better place.
01:51:12.000 You know, when Adam was running it then, and then...
01:51:15.000 I like Adam.
01:51:16.000 Yeah.
01:51:17.000 Despite what a lot of people don't like Adam.
01:51:18.000 He's great.
01:51:18.000 He's great with me.
01:51:19.000 I've known him for a long time.
01:51:20.000 I had him on the podcast.
01:51:20.000 You know, he used to be a cult.
01:51:22.000 Did he really?
01:51:22.000 Oh, you know, his parents and him, right?
01:51:24.000 Oh, yeah.
01:51:25.000 Yeah, he grew up... 0.99
01:51:25.000 That's fucking weird. 0.99
01:51:26.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
01:51:26.000 Grew up in a cult. 1.00
01:51:27.000 Yeah.
01:51:28.000 And didn't really realize it.
01:51:29.000 No, I guess you wouldn't because you didn't know anything else.
01:51:32.000 Right.
01:51:33.000 What cult was his?
01:51:34.000 Did you grow up...
01:51:34.000 I don't know.
01:51:35.000 What was it called again?
01:51:35.000 Do you remember?
01:51:37.000 Branch Davidians, I believe. 1.00
01:51:40.000 Speaking of Texas.
01:51:42.000 Yeah, it was something along those lines.
01:51:44.000 Waco is always going to be that place now.
01:51:46.000 Yeah, no matter what.
01:51:48.000 It was Sea-Doo.
01:51:51.000 Sea-Doo, right.
01:51:52.000 You know who grew up in an ashram was Abbey.
01:51:56.000 You know Abby Roberge?
01:51:57.000 No.
01:51:58.000 You know, he's at the store.
01:51:59.000 Young kid.
01:51:59.000 Okay.
01:52:00.000 Nice kid.
01:52:01.000 He grew up in an ashram.
01:52:02.000 Wow. 1.00
01:52:02.000 I was like, what the fuck? 1.00
01:52:03.000 That's heavy. 1.00
01:52:04.000 So his parents were Buddhists?
01:52:05.000 Yeah, like hippie types, you know?
01:52:07.000 Oh, wow.
01:52:08.000 He's not even old enough to have hippie parents, so it's kind of weird.
01:52:11.000 Wow.
01:52:13.000 But he was telling me that.
01:52:14.000 He goes, yeah, I grew up in an ashram.
01:52:16.000 Any age, you could be old enough to have hippie parents.
01:52:18.000 Yeah, I suppose.
01:52:19.000 Especially in this day and age.
01:52:19.000 There's a lot of kids up there right now that are growing up with hippie parents.
01:52:23.000 This is a new renaissance for hippies.
01:52:26.000 Yeah.
01:52:27.000 But there's so many of them online now.
01:52:28.000 They find these little communities and they connect with each other.
01:52:31.000 There's too much out there.
01:52:33.000 There's too much out there.
01:52:33.000 Too many weirdos can connect with other weirdos.
01:52:35.000 Yeah.
01:52:36.000 Is that bad, though?
01:52:37.000 It's good and bad.
01:52:38.000 It's a double-edged sword.
01:52:41.000 It's good that they found somebody.
01:52:42.000 Remember like George Carlin used to say, I think we should, you know, the homeless people that you see on the street talking to themselves, they should pair them up so at least they look like they're talking to each other.
01:52:52.000 I think the possible good things outweigh the possible bad things.
01:52:57.000 I think they get together and maybe they can improve each other.
01:53:01.000 Maybe they can grow together. 1.00
01:53:02.000 If you're a hippie by yourself, you're fucked. 1.00
01:53:05.000 If you're doing anything by yourself, it's not good. 1.00
01:53:07.000 That's why when I see the homeless people under the bridge and they see them together, I'm like, well, I mean, it sucks, but at least you're not alone in this, you know?
01:53:17.000 Right.
01:53:17.000 If you had a measurement of happiness scale, you know, I bet some of them are probably happier than people that work constantly.
01:53:23.000 Yeah.
01:53:24.000 You know, I mean, what actually makes you happy?
01:53:26.000 And it also depends on which makes you miserable.
01:53:29.000 Yeah.
01:53:30.000 Which part of this don't you like?
01:53:31.000 In fact, you know...
01:53:32.000 Being alone is a big one, man.
01:53:34.000 Being alone makes you very miserable.
01:53:35.000 Yeah.
01:53:37.000 I mean, I'm quite happy being alone right now, but...
01:53:39.000 But that's a different situation.
01:53:41.000 Different situation.
01:53:41.000 You like being alone because it's better than wishing you were alone.
01:53:47.000 Yes.
01:53:47.000 I'm not alone by force.
01:53:50.000 I'm alone by choice.
01:53:51.000 Yeah.
01:53:52.000 That's probably the worst is wishing you were alone.
01:53:55.000 Like being with someone who you wish you weren't with is worse than being alone.
01:54:00.000 Yes.
01:54:01.000 Because you feel alone. 0.97
01:54:04.000 You know what's really fucked up? 0.83
01:54:05.000 It's like, it's very difficult to figure out how do you get back, if you're with someone you don't want to be with anymore, it's very difficult to figure out how do you get back to where you were when you enjoyed them. 0.91
01:54:15.000 Is that possible?
01:54:16.000 Can you do that?
01:54:18.000 Some people know.
01:54:19.000 It needs to be both of you that want to go back.
01:54:22.000 Yes.
01:54:23.000 And it's never, there's, you know, one of you is going to hang on to something.
01:54:27.000 Yes.
01:54:28.000 And you're both going to hang on to different parts of something, and that's what's going to stop the reversal of fortune.
01:54:34.000 That's why you got to do mushrooms together.
01:54:36.000 All right.
01:54:37.000 Do you have?
01:54:37.000 Yes.
01:54:38.000 Give me some before I go.
01:54:39.000 Okay.
01:54:40.000 And I'll take a little microdose.
01:54:42.000 We'll see what's up.
01:54:42.000 At my leisure.
01:54:43.000 I'm going to call you when I'm about to do it, though.
01:54:45.000 Yeah.
01:54:45.000 Well, I'll walk you through it.
01:54:48.000 Do it on a night that I'm not going anywhere.
01:54:50.000 Okay.
01:54:51.000 I'll stay on the phone with you.
01:54:52.000 I'll come to your house.
01:54:52.000 It'll be a strange conversation.
01:54:54.000 About an hour in.
01:54:55.000 You know, you should just come to my house and hang out in the backyard.
01:54:57.000 Okay.
01:54:58.000 It's not far from you.
01:54:59.000 I'll be your babysitter.
01:55:00.000 That'd be great.
01:55:01.000 Okay.
01:55:01.000 I couldn't ask for a better babysitter.
01:55:03.000 That's what you got to do sometimes.
01:55:04.000 They actually call it a sitter.
01:55:06.000 Yeah?
01:55:06.000 Yeah, when someone does psychedelics, the other person will be a sitter.
01:55:09.000 Yeah, because I can't trust Eddie, my assistant. 0.99
01:55:11.000 He'll fucking... 0.99
01:55:12.000 Nah, fool, I just have to go like, I had to make a phone call. 1.00
01:55:14.000 I'm like, well, why am I in the fucking pool upside down then? 1.00
01:55:18.000 Who told you to go in the pool? 0.99
01:55:19.000 The fucking voice in my head told me to go in the pool. 1.00
01:55:21.000 The voice in your head is not going to tell you to go in the pool. 1.00
01:55:23.000 It's going to tell you to lie down in the grass.
01:55:25.000 Just relax.
01:55:25.000 Stare up at the sky.
01:55:26.000 It's going to be okay.
01:55:27.000 Until it's not okay anymore.
01:55:28.000 And then it's not going to matter.
01:55:30.000 And then what?
01:55:31.000 Then you go into the next stage of existence.
01:55:33.000 How long do the microdosing last?
01:55:36.000 Microdosing is easy.
01:55:38.000 You barely notice it's happening.
01:55:39.000 The thing about true microdosing is you're supposed to take it at really almost like sub-perceptible levels.
01:55:46.000 So you're taking it at a level where it's like you just barely get like a tiny rise from it.
01:55:52.000 And for many people, you know, Ron White is into that. 0.99
01:55:56.000 Fucking Ron White makes me laugh. 0.99
01:55:58.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:55:59.000 Dude, he has no clue half the time what's happening.
01:56:01.000 He's the best.
01:56:02.000 I remember one night I dropped him home from the comedy store.
01:56:05.000 We were there.
01:56:06.000 Everybody was drinking.
01:56:07.000 I don't know if you know, he has drinks every now and then.
01:56:09.000 What?
01:56:11.000 I was feeling good.
01:56:12.000 He was feeling good.
01:56:13.000 And he came outside.
01:56:14.000 He's like, I gotta get home.
01:56:15.000 Who can drive me?
01:56:16.000 Can somebody call me an Uber?
01:56:17.000 And I go, I'll get you home, Ron.
01:56:19.000 He goes, are you gonna drive?
01:56:20.000 You're drunk.
01:56:21.000 I go, no, I'm not.
01:56:21.000 My buddy will drive my car.
01:56:23.000 All right, let's go.
01:56:24.000 And I realized...
01:56:27.000 You get in the front, Ron.
01:56:28.000 I sat in the backseat of my car.
01:56:29.000 My buddy drives us.
01:56:30.000 I go, where do you go?
01:56:31.000 Beverly Hills.
01:56:32.000 So he gets us to his house.
01:56:34.000 And he's like, all right, thanks, fellas.
01:56:36.000 Hey, you want to come in and see what comedy can buy you?
01:56:40.000 And I'm like, in my head at that moment, I went, he doesn't realize it's me.
01:56:45.000 And I go, yeah, sure, I'll come in.
01:56:47.000 So I go in his house.
01:56:48.000 He goes, yeah, this is it.
01:56:49.000 It's all comedy.
01:56:50.000 And I go, nice.
01:56:51.000 And in my head I'm thinking, my house is bigger than this.
01:56:55.000 Right?
01:56:55.000 And then he goes, and his girlfriend walks in and goes, oh, hey, honey, this is, I'm sorry, bud, I forgot your name.
01:57:01.000 And she goes, oh, my God, Russell Peters. 1.00
01:57:03.000 And he goes like this, ah, fuck. 1.00
01:57:07.000 He was that drunk you forgot your name? 1.00
01:57:09.000 He forgot.
01:57:10.000 He didn't recognize me.
01:57:11.000 I don't know what it was. 1.00
01:57:12.000 As soon as he heard me, he goes, ah, fuck. 1.00
01:57:15.000 Oh, my God. 1.00
01:57:15.000 That's blitzed. 1.00
01:57:17.000 I thought it was pretty hilarious.
01:57:18.000 That's a high level of blitzed.
01:57:20.000 Hey, call me, man.
01:57:21.000 Just here's my number.
01:57:22.000 Give me a call.
01:57:23.000 That is, by the way, the worst Ron White impression I think I've ever heard.
01:57:26.000 Possibly.
01:57:27.000 This here's what comedy can buy you.
01:57:32.000 He's a character from a movie. 0.98
01:57:34.000 He's a really fucking funny guy too, though. 0.98
01:57:36.000 Oh, he's ridiculously funny. 0.94
01:57:38.000 I've been on flights with him and he didn't...
01:57:39.000 I sat like in the...
01:57:40.000 He was on the other aisle across from me.
01:57:43.000 And I didn't even say anything to him.
01:57:45.000 He looked right at me and didn't recognize me again.
01:57:47.000 I'm like... 0.99
01:57:48.000 Last time he did this podcast, we were talking and I go, how often do you get fucked up? 0.99
01:57:51.000 He's like, every fucking night. 0.99
01:57:54.000 I go, you get drunk every night. 1.00
01:57:55.000 He goes, every fucking night. 1.00
01:57:57.000 We had this conversation afterwards. 0.99
01:57:58.000 I was like, you don't take any days off?
01:58:00.000 No.
01:58:01.000 I don't think his liver would accept him taking a night off.
01:58:05.000 But you imagine getting drunk every night and he doesn't look bad.
01:58:08.000 No.
01:58:09.000 For a guy... 1.00
01:58:09.000 Great fucking hair. 1.00
01:58:11.000 Hair's amazing. 1.00
01:58:12.000 It's got great. 0.99
01:58:13.000 I got fucking hair envy. 1.00
01:58:14.000 And he's a killer. 1.00
01:58:15.000 Like, on stage, he's a fucking killer. 1.00
01:58:17.000 Like, it doesn't affect his stand-up. 1.00
01:58:19.000 In fact, it probably enhances it.
01:58:22.000 And the guy's been doing it forever.
01:58:24.000 Yeah.
01:58:24.000 I'm what, 31 in?
01:58:26.000 You're 31 in, aren't you?
01:58:27.000 Yeah.
01:58:27.000 How do you tell a guy like that to change it up?
01:58:29.000 You can't.
01:58:30.000 Because it's not a problem.
01:58:31.000 He's a functioning alcoholic.
01:58:33.000 He's living in Austin now.
01:58:34.000 Is he really?
01:58:34.000 Yep.
01:58:35.000 Wow.
01:58:36.000 So everybody knows where you're going?
01:58:38.000 Shh.
01:58:38.000 Don't tell anybody.
01:58:40.000 Nobody will hear this.
01:58:41.000 Don't worry about it.
01:58:41.000 We're going to be fine.
01:58:42.000 Shh.
01:58:42.000 Keep it You think you're going to stay here though?
01:58:45.000 You're going to stay here?
01:58:46.000 I have no choice.
01:58:47.000 Talk those broads into moving. 1.00
01:58:49.000 I can't.
01:58:50.000 It will cost me a fortune that I do not have right now.
01:58:53.000 Podcast.
01:58:54.000 You need to get that Russell Peters podcast rolling.
01:58:57.000 What would you call it?
01:58:58.000 I don't know.
01:59:00.000 What would you call it?
01:59:02.000 The Russell Peters Show.
01:59:03.000 Sure.
01:59:04.000 Why not?
01:59:04.000 Sounds good.
01:59:05.000 It doesn't need another name.
01:59:06.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:59:06.000 Everybody wants to come up with these fucking, like, Brian Callan had mixed mental arts for a while. 0.99
01:59:12.000 Exactly. 0.99
01:59:14.000 Exactly.
01:59:15.000 Me and Schaub were torturing him.
01:59:17.000 We were like, what are you doing?
01:59:19.000 Ugh.
01:59:19.000 I was just with Brian at Frank Grillo's birthday at Frank Grillo's place.
01:59:24.000 And it was like...
01:59:27.000 Did you see he's got his eyelids done?
01:59:29.000 Yeah, I couldn't tell.
01:59:30.000 Yeah, nobody could tell.
01:59:31.000 No. 0.99
01:59:32.000 He looked like he got the fuck beat out of him for about three days. 0.99
01:59:35.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:59:35.000 And now he looks normal. 0.98
01:59:36.000 Yeah, he did have kind of like a purple-y thing under.
01:59:38.000 I thought he was from sparring or something.
01:59:40.000 From Vanity.
01:59:41.000 And I think Gerard Butler was there that night.
01:59:44.000 Gerard Butler's a really nice guy.
01:59:46.000 He's a good guy.
01:59:46.000 I met him at a few UFCs.
01:59:48.000 Super nice guy. 0.85
01:59:50.000 And at the end of the night, I said to Brian, I go, well, you killed tonight, man.
01:59:54.000 You won tonight's party, that's for sure.
01:59:57.000 Oh, he's great at a party.
01:59:58.000 Oh, yeah, he's great.
02:00:00.000 He's one of the best guys for being funny in groups of people.
02:00:03.000 Yeah.
02:00:04.000 Because that's when he comes alive.
02:00:05.000 Like, if he never did stand-up again, but he just went to dinner every night, he'd be fine.
02:00:09.000 He could be a professional guest.
02:00:11.000 Yes.
02:00:11.000 Yes.
02:00:11.000 Yeah.
02:00:12.000 A professional dinner guest.
02:00:13.000 Yeah.
02:00:13.000 Hey, listen, this dinner might be boring.
02:00:15.000 How much does Callan charge for dinner?
02:00:17.000 Dude, the first time I ever went hunting, I went hunting with Callan, me and him and Steve Rinell and the meat-eater crew, and we went to Montana, and it was seven days of hysterics. 1.00
02:00:26.000 It was like one long shit, dick, or gay joke. 1.00
02:00:30.000 It was just him being- No, dude, let's just make out. 1.00
02:00:32.000 Yeah.
02:00:32.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:00:33.000 That's the whole thing. 1.00
02:00:35.000 I'm like, what would you do right now if I just started sucking your cock? 1.00
02:00:38.000 Just me sucking your cock. 1.00
02:00:41.000 He's just such a... 1.00
02:00:44.000 You know, people think about comedians, oh, they're on all the time.
02:00:47.000 That's so annoying.
02:00:48.000 It's not annoying with Callan.
02:00:49.000 No, he knows how to do it properly.
02:00:52.000 Well, it's a different kind of on.
02:00:54.000 It's Brian Callan on.
02:00:57.000 He'd be a great professional dinner guest.
02:00:59.000 You know how people do Cameo?
02:01:00.000 Yeah.
02:01:01.000 I do Cameo.
02:01:02.000 Someone pays you to do a little shout-out.
02:01:05.000 Matter of fact, I have one I have to do when I'm done here.
02:01:07.000 Oh, let's do it real quick.
02:01:08.000 But with Callan, Callan should do that, but with dinner guests.
02:01:12.000 He should be a dinner guest.
02:01:13.000 He should, yeah. 1.00
02:01:14.000 I bet you he could make a fucking fortune. 1.00
02:01:16.000 Oh, for sure. 1.00
02:01:16.000 How many rich guys would love to hang out with Callan? 1.00
02:01:18.000 Yeah, and even if they don't know him, once they get him, I'm like, oh yeah.
02:01:22.000 Because I saw Gerard Butler go, hey, we need to hang out.
02:01:24.000 And I'm like, I'll hang out too, man. 0.99
02:01:26.000 I didn't say shit all night. 0.95
02:01:28.000 I shut up in a lot of those situations because I'm like, I'm watching everything. 0.98
02:01:32.000 I'm always like, what's going on in here?
02:01:35.000 But when a lot of people are talking, there's nothing wrong with shutting up.
02:01:38.000 It's fun.
02:01:38.000 Hey, you don't learn when you talk, you learn when you listen.
02:01:40.000 So that's what I was trying to do.
02:01:41.000 Yeah, look at you, wise man.
02:01:42.000 You should write that down somewhere and put it on an Instagram page.
02:01:45.000 Get Reddit somewhere.
02:01:47.000 Motivational quotes.
02:01:48.000 Yeah.
02:01:49.000 I miss Jack Handy quotes.
02:01:51.000 Those were my favorite.
02:01:52.000 Jack Handy?
02:01:52.000 Remember Jack Handy from SNL? No.
02:01:55.000 It would always be like a Hallmark kind of quote.
02:01:58.000 It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man who's crying.
02:02:04.000 Stuff like that.
02:02:05.000 Mm-hmm.
02:02:06.000 You pull those up there, Jamie?
02:02:07.000 Nothing has been better for those kind of things than the internet.
02:02:10.000 Oh, yeah.
02:02:11.000 That's the thing now, yeah. 0.99
02:02:12.000 You see people fucking write one line like, fuck, that would have been a great bit. 1.00
02:02:15.000 Now I can't do it because this fucking idiot posted this. 1.00
02:02:17.000 Well, yeah. 1.00
02:02:18.000 And it's also just that memes on the internet is a different style of comedy.
02:02:22.000 It's like a whole new kind of comedy that didn't exist before.
02:02:25.000 Yeah.
02:02:25.000 You know, when something goes wrong, like little memes.
02:02:27.000 Those are my favorite. 0.99
02:02:28.000 They're fucking great. 0.97
02:02:31.000 I screenshot them and then I sent them to my brother. 0.98
02:02:34.000 I sent one today to him, I think.
02:02:38.000 There was one I saw that said, my wife's gone into labor.
02:02:41.000 I called the hospital.
02:02:42.000 My wife's gone into labor.
02:02:43.000 What should I do?
02:02:43.000 Is this her first child?
02:02:45.000 No, this is her husband. 1.00
02:02:47.000 I love dumb shit like that, though. 1.00
02:02:50.000 You're a throwback. 1.00
02:02:51.000 I'm old school.
02:02:52.000 That's a Jeff Ross type.
02:02:53.000 I spoke to Jeff last night.
02:02:55.000 How's he doing?
02:02:56.000 He's doing good.
02:02:57.000 Yeah, he's doing good.
02:02:58.000 I love Jeff.
02:02:59.000 He's such a sweet guy.
02:02:59.000 Everybody's in suspended animation.
02:03:01.000 Everybody.
02:03:02.000 The only thing that's been connecting me to everybody is doing this. 0.96
02:03:05.000 Being able to sit down with guys, shoot the shit with them, other than last weekend with Tony and Moses when we went to Houston. 0.97
02:03:11.000 That felt like the old days again. 0.99
02:03:13.000 It was crazy.
02:03:14.000 You did the Houston Improv?
02:03:16.000 Yeah.
02:03:16.000 I was there.
02:03:17.000 It was my first time ever there.
02:03:18.000 Really?
02:03:19.000 Yeah.
02:03:19.000 Stage is really high.
02:03:20.000 It's great.
02:03:21.000 Yeah.
02:03:21.000 It's a great club.
02:03:22.000 I like it.
02:03:23.000 I like it a lot.
02:03:24.000 It was really fun.
02:03:25.000 What was capacity?
02:03:26.000 50?
02:03:26.000 75?
02:03:27.000 They were up to 75. Yeah.
02:03:29.000 Yeah, 75%.
02:03:30.000 I think that's what they were doing in Miami, too.
02:03:32.000 It was pretty packed.
02:03:33.000 Yeah, it looked full.
02:03:34.000 So Kreischer's on the road, right?
02:03:36.000 And he's doing drive-in movie theaters.
02:03:37.000 I saw that.
02:03:38.000 And he's got Jesus with him.
02:03:39.000 Yes.
02:03:40.000 And in between, and he did the drive-in with Miss Pat as well.
02:03:43.000 Hilarious.
02:03:43.000 Yeah.
02:03:44.000 I love Miss Pat.
02:03:45.000 She's great.
02:03:46.000 In between, he did some clubs.
02:03:48.000 And he did a club in Oklahoma.
02:03:50.000 It was supposed to be 120 seats, socially distanced.
02:03:53.000 They stuffed 343 people in there.
02:03:56.000 Hilarious.
02:03:56.000 And they lied to him about the number.
02:03:58.000 So Jesus went around counting heads, and he counted 343 people, and they were like, that count was grossly inaccurate.
02:04:05.000 Wow.
02:04:05.000 I have my assistant count at the club, too.
02:04:07.000 I'm like, Eddie, go count every fucking scene. 0.99
02:04:10.000 He's got a ticker on his phone. 0.99
02:04:11.000 I don't want to be fucking shortchanged by their book, because I'm already getting shortchanged. 0.62
02:04:15.000 The money's bad now. 0.92
02:04:17.000 Yeah.
02:04:17.000 The money's less, they're charging less.
02:04:19.000 But in their Burt situation, Burt was worried about catching COVID. He's like, look, man, I did drive in movie theaters for a reason so that I would be away from everybody.
02:04:28.000 They're in their car, I'm over here, everybody's safe.
02:04:31.000 And he's like, now I'm in this club.
02:04:33.000 He goes, I don't feel safe at all.
02:04:34.000 He goes, this is not good.
02:04:35.000 They just stuffed it, dude.
02:04:37.000 I'll show you a picture.
02:04:38.000 He sent me a picture of it. 0.99
02:04:39.000 I mean, it's fucking stuffed, man. 0.99
02:04:41.000 Like, full on stuffed. 0.99
02:04:43.000 Fucking Bert and Tom called me a couple of weeks ago. 0.99
02:04:46.000 Hey, is Hindi a religion? 0.99
02:04:50.000 I go, no. 1.00
02:04:51.000 No, Hindi's a language, you fucking idiot. 1.00
02:04:53.000 Hindu's the religion. 1.00
02:04:55.000 Yeah, that's the one I like.
02:04:56.000 That's the one I like?
02:04:57.000 That's the one I like. 0.98
02:04:59.000 What the fuck does that even mean? 0.97
02:05:00.000 That's literally what Bert called to ask me. 0.98
02:05:02.000 What does that mean?
02:05:03.000 That's the religion I like?
02:05:04.000 That's the religion he likes.
02:05:04.000 What's your favorite part?
02:05:06.000 What do you like about that one?
02:05:07.000 That's the one with Shiva?
02:05:09.000 Yeah, that's the one I like.
02:05:11.000 Look at this. 1.00
02:05:11.000 Like it's a fucking trilogy. 1.00
02:05:13.000 Look how packed that place is. 1.00
02:05:16.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
02:05:17.000 He sent me that. 1.00
02:05:17.000 He goes, fuck! 1.00
02:05:19.000 He goes, I don't feel safe. 1.00
02:05:20.000 I'm like, yeah.
02:05:20.000 That's in Oklahoma?
02:05:21.000 Yeah.
02:05:21.000 I'm like, yeah, you shouldn't feel safe.
02:05:23.000 I like that there's one guy with the mask on.
02:05:25.000 Yeah, one guy. 1.00
02:05:26.000 Meanwhile, the fucking... 1.00
02:05:27.000 The cases in Oklahoma are through the roof. 1.00
02:05:29.000 Are they really?
02:05:30.000 Yeah.
02:05:30.000 Here, I'll put this up on...
02:05:32.000 I'll send this to you, Jamie, so that you can put it online. 0.57
02:05:34.000 Shame these people.
02:05:35.000 We don't even have to say who it is.
02:05:37.000 But, you know, there's a lot of people that'll tell you...
02:05:41.000 You know, they'll tell you that they've got X amount of...
02:05:45.000 People in the audience, but then once you actually get there, man.
02:05:48.000 I think once you get to middle America, they're not as ball-busting the authorities.
02:05:55.000 Well, the thing is, I don't think it's the authorities, man.
02:05:58.000 I think it's the people in the club. 0.99
02:06:00.000 They're fucking hurting, man. 0.99
02:06:02.000 And they're willing to do anything. 0.99
02:06:03.000 I just sent it to you, Jamie.
02:06:05.000 The people that are...
02:06:06.000 I mean, imagine if you've gone...
02:06:09.000 10 years in the business.
02:06:10.000 There it is.
02:06:11.000 Look at that, folks.
02:06:13.000 That guy looks like an employee, too. 0.99
02:06:16.000 That is fucking preposterous, the size of that crowd. 0.98
02:06:19.000 That they told him it was only going to be 120 people socially distant. 0.99
02:06:23.000 They're stuffed in there.
02:06:25.000 Your count is grossly inaccurate.
02:06:27.000 I bet someone online can count 340 people from that photo. 0.99
02:06:31.000 Yeah, that's a lot of fucking people really close to each other. 0.98
02:06:34.000 See, the clubs I've been playing, I've noticed they've been paying attention. 0.99
02:06:37.000 Like in San Diego, the American Comedy Club, they had no front row at all.
02:06:42.000 Yeah, they're doing it right.
02:06:43.000 Yeah, no front row at all, and then it was after that, it was tables.
02:06:46.000 Yeah, San Diego's doing it right.
02:06:48.000 Now, see, that wouldn't bother me nearly as much.
02:06:52.000 347. That's the count.
02:06:53.000 Jesus Christ.
02:06:54.000 That's a full club.
02:06:55.000 It's a full club.
02:06:56.000 It's very much a full club.
02:06:57.000 That's a packed house.
02:06:58.000 San Diego is smart.
02:07:00.000 That's a good...
02:07:00.000 See, as long as there's enough space between you and them, so if they're laughing, you're not getting it in your mouth.
02:07:04.000 Mm-hmm.
02:07:05.000 You know?
02:07:06.000 And you're higher than them already, so...
02:07:07.000 That's what you need.
02:07:08.000 And you also probably should have a shield.
02:07:10.000 I spit a lot.
02:07:11.000 I spit a lot when I'm on stage.
02:07:12.000 Wow.
02:07:13.000 And that's why I would say, like, there's a reason you're back there and I'm here because I'm...
02:07:18.000 We've got to get to a point where there's a test that you can take immediately.
02:07:22.000 So if they have that saliva test, there's a saliva test...
02:07:25.000 The saliva test makes the most sense to me because that's where it's transmitted.
02:07:29.000 That's why the blood test seems a little...
02:07:30.000 I mean, I get what you're doing, but saliva seems like the most direct way you would get it.
02:07:36.000 Where'd you get your medical degree?
02:07:38.000 I'm a doctor.
02:07:39.000 I don't know if you know about this. 1.00
02:07:40.000 I'm a doctor of the mix, motherfucker. 0.99
02:07:44.000 I think that they're going to have those soon. 0.99
02:07:47.000 And apparently they're really quick, like within a few seconds.
02:07:50.000 You could lick something and it'll tell you.
02:07:53.000 Because you're more likely to get spit on you from somebody else than blood.
02:07:56.000 But bro, that would be amazing.
02:07:57.000 Everybody wears a mask in line, you get to the door, you lick the thing, it says you're clean, and everybody can come in and be a normal person.
02:08:04.000 If we can get to that, we can open up everything.
02:08:07.000 Restaurants, movie theaters, comedy clubs.
02:08:10.000 Beaches?
02:08:11.000 Yeah, they should put all their effort on that, and I know they're apparently real close to that.
02:08:16.000 Someone was telling, Trump was telling someone that they're real close to doing that.
02:08:19.000 And it's gotta be true. 0.67
02:08:20.000 Yeah, it's gotta be.
02:08:22.000 He wouldn't lie.
02:08:23.000 Never.
02:08:24.000 A couple states today have issued statewide facial covering requirements in public spaces, including Texas and I think Ohio.
02:08:34.000 Well, California's had that for a while, right?
02:08:35.000 We just did that, yeah.
02:08:36.000 Yeah, I have my mask in the car.
02:08:38.000 I wear it as needed.
02:08:39.000 I understand why I'm wearing it. 0.98
02:08:41.000 Dude, I was busting Bill Burr's balls about it. 0.92
02:08:44.000 Like, you don't wear a mask? 0.98
02:08:44.000 CDC says, you know, I was just trying to rile them up. 0.98
02:08:47.000 Right.
02:08:47.000 And they started writing all these articles.
02:08:49.000 Like, I'm seriously, like, I'm a mask denier or something.
02:08:53.000 A mask denier. 0.98
02:08:54.000 People are so silly with what they decide to... 0.95
02:08:58.000 It's just one of those things where people are just looking for things to be upset about. 0.91
02:09:01.000 I would love to hear Billy's version.
02:09:03.000 Oh, he's the best.
02:09:04.000 Nobody rants better.
02:09:06.000 Well, he's also got rant muscles because he's ranting every week.
02:09:10.000 He does his podcast solo, which is amazing that he can produce that much content. 0.81
02:09:15.000 I mean, every fucking week he's doing two podcasts, the Monday morning podcast on Monday and he does it on Thursday too. 0.93
02:09:21.000 So he's doing two long rants Every week. 0.98
02:09:24.000 And now he's doing one with Burt.
02:09:26.000 Yes, the Bill and Burt Show.
02:09:27.000 Bill Burt.
02:09:28.000 Bill Burt, yeah.
02:09:30.000 That's a great name.
02:09:30.000 It is perfect.
02:09:32.000 Bill Burt Podcast. 0.98
02:09:33.000 And they're so complete fucking polar opposites. 0.99
02:09:36.000 Yes. 0.99
02:09:36.000 That's what makes it great. 0.99
02:09:38.000 Well, Bert's a hustler, man.
02:09:40.000 You gotta give it up to Bert Kreischer.
02:09:41.000 I mean, he's the one who figured out how to do this drive-in movie theater thing.
02:09:45.000 He's got that Two Bears, One Cave he does with Tom.
02:09:48.000 That's doing really well.
02:09:49.000 He's got his own podcast. 1.00
02:09:52.000 He's fucking hustling. 0.99
02:09:53.000 I did Bert's podcast maybe six years ago. 0.99
02:09:56.000 He came to my house when I was in Malibu, and we did it in my house.
02:09:59.000 We did it up in my bedroom, I believe.
02:10:01.000 Oh, really?
02:10:02.000 Yeah, we sat on the couch out there.
02:10:03.000 That's cool.
02:10:04.000 Yeah, man, you should do your own.
02:10:06.000 I really should.
02:10:07.000 100% should do your own.
02:10:07.000 Now's the time.
02:10:08.000 I think on a worldwide scale, mine would do pretty well.
02:10:11.000 You're just going to do pretty well here, too.
02:10:13.000 But the thing is, you've got to get going.
02:10:15.000 Because it takes a few months for them to really get cooking and really get a bunch of people into it.
02:10:21.000 But if you think about it now, we're here in June.
02:10:24.000 It's almost July.
02:10:25.000 I don't see us opening any comedy until September or October.
02:10:29.000 I'm scheduled to be in...
02:10:32.000 Stand Up Live in Phoenix next weekend.
02:10:34.000 Whoa.
02:10:35.000 But literally day by day I'm getting a text closed, open, closed, open, closed, open.
02:10:40.000 About them?
02:10:41.000 Yeah.
02:10:41.000 Oh.
02:10:42.000 Well, Arizona's wild.
02:10:44.000 Arizona is wild.
02:10:45.000 That is the Wild West, son.
02:10:46.000 I mean, they are connected to Mexico. 0.99
02:10:48.000 They give zero fucks. 0.99
02:10:50.000 They survived Indian attacks. 0.99
02:10:52.000 They have an open carry state.
02:10:53.000 First of all, I've never attacked anybody.
02:10:55.000 That's a different kind of Indian. 0.93
02:10:56.000 We're the real ones.
02:10:57.000 You are the real ones.
02:10:57.000 Is that offensive that other people call themselves Indians and never even been to India?
02:11:02.000 You mean the Native Americans?
02:11:03.000 Yeah.
02:11:04.000 The Native Americans do not accept the word Indian.
02:11:06.000 They do.
02:11:06.000 That's why you're wrong.
02:11:07.000 I had a Native American lady on this podcast talking to me about Native American tribes, and they actually use the term Indian.
02:11:13.000 They like Indian.
02:11:14.000 American Indian.
02:11:14.000 We don't like that.
02:11:15.000 Because they were only called that because he was looking for India. 1.00
02:11:18.000 Yeah, he fucked up. 1.00
02:11:19.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:11:20.000 What a fuck up, too. 1.00
02:11:21.000 I know. 1.00
02:11:22.000 Jesus.
02:11:22.000 He knew this wasn't India.
02:11:23.000 You don't think so? 0.99
02:11:24.000 Yeah, he fucking knew. 0.99
02:11:25.000 He was like, oh, that must be India. 0.99
02:11:26.000 He was like, they don't know.
02:11:28.000 That must be Indian. 1.00
02:11:28.000 Those must be the Indians. 1.00
02:11:30.000 Really?
02:11:30.000 Yeah, of course.
02:11:31.000 Christopher Columbus was fucking lost. 0.97
02:11:32.000 That's why I was like, what do you do on Columbus Day? 0.99
02:11:34.000 She's getting your car and she's turning your GPS off?
02:11:36.000 Well, didn't they land in the Bahamas?
02:11:39.000 Possibly.
02:11:39.000 I think they landed in the Bahamas.
02:11:41.000 Who, Christopher Columbus?
02:11:42.000 I think the first people that were...
02:11:44.000 Amerigo Vespucci.
02:11:46.000 Did he land here?
02:11:48.000 That's where America comes from, right?
02:11:49.000 The name Americas.
02:11:51.000 Amerigo Vespucci.
02:11:52.000 Oh, really?
02:11:53.000 Yeah. 0.78
02:11:54.000 I'm very ignorant to that.
02:11:55.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:11:56.000 That's why I like talking to you, because you do give me information of shit I didn't know. 0.97
02:11:59.000 Very little, and I'm often wrong. 0.98
02:12:01.000 That's fine.
02:12:02.000 Don't get your information from me.
02:12:02.000 Yeah, but your confidence is within.
02:12:05.000 I'm confident I'm wrong a lot.
02:12:06.000 Trust me.
02:12:08.000 But yeah, I think they landed...
02:12:10.000 I think they didn't even land in America proper. 0.80
02:12:14.000 I think they landed in the Bahamas first, if I remember correctly, which is ridiculous.
02:12:19.000 In when?
02:12:19.000 1600s?
02:12:21.000 I don't know.
02:12:21.000 I mean, 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, right?
02:12:24.000 That's what they say.
02:12:25.000 That's what happened.
02:12:27.000 We didn't learn that in Canada.
02:12:28.000 It says actually neither of them landed in America.
02:12:31.000 Where'd they land?
02:12:32.000 I'm trying to remember.
02:12:33.000 Bahamas for Columbus.
02:12:35.000 Yeah, there we go.
02:12:36.000 See, I know some things.
02:12:39.000 I occasionally know some things. 1.00
02:12:40.000 But you know what's crazy is that we still celebrate Columbus Day when we know he's a fucking serial killer. 1.00
02:12:46.000 I mean, the guy was a ruthless murderer. 1.00
02:12:48.000 A horrific person. 1.00
02:12:50.000 The shit that they did to the Native Americans that was documented by the missionaries that came along with them. 1.00
02:12:54.000 Yeah, but in Outer Mongolia, they have Genghis Khan Day, which is really a nice day. 0.99
02:12:57.000 That's hilarious.
02:12:58.000 The fireworks are incredible.
02:12:59.000 The rapings, the murders.
02:13:02.000 The skull.
02:13:02.000 Lighting people on fire.
02:13:04.000 The skull pyramid.
02:13:05.000 Yeah, dude.
02:13:07.000 Have you ever listened to The Wrath of the Khans from Dan Carlin from Hardcore History?
02:13:13.000 I didn't know much about Genghis Khan.
02:13:15.000 I knew he was a conqueror and all that stuff. 1.00
02:13:17.000 I knew he was ruthless as fuck. 0.99
02:13:19.000 Ruthless as fuck, but when you listen to the Wrath of the Khans from Hardcore History, I think you can only get it on Dan Carlin's website now. 0.99
02:13:28.000 Dan Carlin has a system where he keeps a certain amount of them, it makes them available for free on his iTunes page, but then once they get to a certain number, then he archives them on his website and then you have to pay, 0.99
02:13:44.000 but it's only a dollar an episode.
02:13:46.000 And they're amazing.
02:13:47.000 He's got a podcast, but to call his podcast and my podcast the same thing is ridiculous.
02:13:52.000 Like, his podcast is really like an amazing, super entertaining audio history book. 0.99
02:13:58.000 Whereas this is just you and me talking shit. 0.90
02:14:00.000 Yeah, but yours, I think you're underestimating how entertaining yours is. 1.00
02:14:04.000 Because I could put it on with no matter who the fuck your guest is. 0.99
02:14:08.000 No matter, even if I'm like, I don't know who that is, but I'll watch it. 0.99
02:14:10.000 And then I watch it, I go, I just learned so much.
02:14:13.000 Well, that's good.
02:14:14.000 It's good.
02:14:15.000 And it's, you know, and sometimes I find even when you have the more, the people that you think you're going to get more from you, like, that wasn't it.
02:14:22.000 Sometimes, yeah, you never know.
02:14:24.000 You never know who's going to be a good guest. 0.99
02:14:25.000 It's good that you got Elon to fucking talk. 0.99
02:14:27.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:14:28.000 Because I've met him.
02:14:29.000 Yeah.
02:14:30.000 Not a talker.
02:14:31.000 Well, he likes me, and he knows I like him, and we can talk.
02:14:35.000 He knows that I respect him very much. 0.98
02:14:37.000 I respect the shit out of him. 0.98
02:14:38.000 And I'm very curious, and so I know how to pull things out of him. 0.97
02:14:43.000 And after we did the first one, the first one was a little rough at first, man.
02:14:47.000 If you go back and listen to the first one, the first...
02:14:50.000 Maybe, you know, 15-20 minutes is kind of pulling teeth and doing heavy lifting, but then he got comfortable.
02:14:56.000 He was super comfortable when I first met him.
02:14:58.000 When he came to the studio, he was real warm and friendly, gave me the flamethrower.
02:15:02.000 It was good times.
02:15:03.000 That one?
02:15:03.000 Yeah.
02:15:04.000 But then, once he settled in, and then we started, we drank, that was one of the reasons why we started drinking right away.
02:15:11.000 I wanted to loosen him up.
02:15:12.000 And then once he got loosened up, then we had a good time.
02:15:15.000 I met him from Jon Favreau, so I figured Fav and him are really good friends.
02:15:18.000 I thought he'd be like, you know, oh, cool, you're friends with Fav.
02:15:21.000 It was like, hey, that's me.
02:15:23.000 Dude, he's almost too smart.
02:15:26.000 He's like talking to dogs.
02:15:27.000 Yeah, I mean, he's got a different level of way of looking at things and making things happen.
02:15:34.000 Yeah, you and I are a couple of collies. 1.00
02:15:36.000 Yeah, we're fucking idiots. 1.00
02:15:38.000 I mean, me for sure. 1.00
02:15:39.000 For sure, both of us.
02:15:40.000 I'm a chihuahua. 0.99
02:15:41.000 I'm not even a fucking collie. 1.00
02:15:43.000 We're morons. 1.00
02:15:44.000 And he's digging tunnels under LA and shooting rockets into space. 0.99
02:15:48.000 Meanwhile, he's making electric cars and solar panels and SolarCity. 0.99
02:15:52.000 Like, what the fuck, man? 0.99
02:15:53.000 Yeah, he's the Dr. Dre of science. 1.00
02:15:58.000 He's the Nikola Tesla of 2020 is what he is.
02:16:00.000 That's why he named it after him, right?
02:16:03.000 It's important to have guys like that around. 0.99
02:16:05.000 It's funny when people talk shit about him. 0.98
02:16:06.000 And he's our age. 1.00
02:16:07.000 That's the fucking crazy part. 0.99
02:16:08.000 Younger than us! 0.99
02:16:08.000 Yeah, he's younger than us. 0.99
02:16:09.000 I think he's like 46 or something.
02:16:11.000 I did a Canadian talk show and his mom was on with me.
02:16:16.000 This was earlier this year, I think.
02:16:18.000 Did they have to plug her in?
02:16:19.000 Was she a robot? 0.99
02:16:20.000 She's beautiful.
02:16:21.000 Really?
02:16:22.000 Yeah, she's like 70, but she's really...
02:16:23.000 She was a model, and you could see it.
02:16:25.000 You're like, oh yeah, she's...
02:16:26.000 I felt awkward. 0.99
02:16:28.000 I'm like, hey, she's fucking hot. 1.00
02:16:29.000 Not too awkward, because I was like, I would take a run. 0.98
02:16:32.000 I'd have had the chance.
02:16:33.000 Maybe get the rub.
02:16:35.000 Get a little smarter.
02:16:36.000 But yeah, I don't think I was smarter. 1.00
02:16:38.000 Imagine if you fuck a smart person, you get a little smarter? 1.00
02:16:40.000 That'd be amazing. 1.00
02:16:41.000 That would be amazing. 0.98
02:16:42.000 Yeah, because I think I've definitely gotten dumber. 0.87
02:16:44.000 As you got older? 1.00
02:16:45.000 No, by fucking dumb women. 1.00
02:16:47.000 Oh yeah, you get dumber. 1.00
02:16:49.000 Yeah, you make dumb choices. 1.00
02:16:50.000 Because you gotta dumb it down to make yourself get in there. 1.00
02:16:53.000 Right.
02:16:53.000 You go to their level.
02:16:55.000 Right. 1.00
02:16:55.000 And then when you go to a smarter woman's level, You elevate yourself, but then because they're smarter, you can't get away with the same bullshit. 1.00
02:17:04.000 There's nothing more embarrassing than if you think a girl is not so smart, and then you find out she is smart. 0.99
02:17:11.000 That's how you know she's smart, because she played it like she's not smart.
02:17:15.000 You know, Suzanne Somers was like that. 1.00
02:17:16.000 She's a very intelligent woman who understood, I'm going to use this to my advantage.
02:17:21.000 That makes sense.
02:17:22.000 As was Farrah Fawcett.
02:17:24.000 Really?
02:17:24.000 She's real smart?
02:17:25.000 She was a very intelligent woman who knew that it was like, okay, I see.
02:17:30.000 I see what you're looking for.
02:17:31.000 Callan told me he did a movie with Megan Fox, and he said he made that mistake.
02:17:35.000 He was talking to her like she was a dummy, and then she turned on him, rattled off a bunch of facts and information.
02:17:41.000 He realized, like, oh.
02:17:44.000 Yeah, there's a reason these people are in the place they're in.
02:17:46.000 Not always.
02:17:47.000 Well, a lot of times.
02:17:48.000 Some of them are hot.
02:17:49.000 True. 1.00
02:17:49.000 Some of them are fucked their way. 1.00
02:17:50.000 True. 1.00
02:17:51.000 That's true, too.
02:17:52.000 I remember Whitney got mad at me one night at the Laugh Factory.
02:17:54.000 For what?
02:17:56.000 I don't know.
02:17:57.000 I was showing another comic, like, pics.
02:18:00.000 This was years ago.
02:18:01.000 Pics that girls had sent me.
02:18:02.000 Right. 1.00
02:18:03.000 Nudes and shit. 1.00
02:18:04.000 And she goes, I want to see. 1.00
02:18:05.000 And I go, it's just naked women. 1.00
02:18:07.000 She goes, let me see what the girls sent you. 1.00
02:18:09.000 And I show her, and she got fucking mad. 0.97
02:18:10.000 She was like... 1.00
02:18:12.000 You know, you gotta stop dating fucking stupid women, Russell. 1.00
02:18:14.000 This is disgusting. 1.00
02:18:16.000 You go, I didn't want to show you this.
02:18:18.000 She was like, no, you need to do better. 1.00
02:18:19.000 You're not an idiot. 1.00
02:18:20.000 Why the fuck are you dating idiots? 1.00
02:18:21.000 I go, alright, I fucking felt bad after. 1.00
02:18:24.000 But you know why she gets like that? 0.96
02:18:26.000 Because she's really smart.
02:18:27.000 No, I know. 1.00
02:18:28.000 So she probably gets upset at dumb women, like setting a bad example. 1.00
02:18:31.000 Because I'm sure she gets treated like she's a dumb woman. 1.00
02:18:34.000 And she's not. 1.00
02:18:35.000 So she probably sees dumb women and sees that you give them attention. 1.00
02:18:39.000 She's like, you're helping. 1.00
02:18:41.000 You're hurting us.
02:18:42.000 You're hurting the cause.
02:18:43.000 And I'm like, you know what?
02:18:44.000 And I get it.
02:18:45.000 And, you know, the thing with female comics, I don't look at them as female comics, I look at them as comics.
02:18:49.000 Right.
02:18:50.000 Because I'm like, if you're able to do the same job, there's no male or female in my eyes.
02:18:54.000 We are doing the exact same job.
02:18:56.000 The gender's irrelevant. 0.99
02:18:58.000 Well, comedy, stand-up comedy's very much a meritocracy.
02:19:02.000 Very much.
02:19:03.000 Yes.
02:19:03.000 The ones who are really good get a lot of respect.
02:19:05.000 Right.
02:19:06.000 No matter what they are.
02:19:07.000 Gay, straight, male, female. 0.80
02:19:08.000 Sarah Silverman's one of my favorite comics of all time. 1.00
02:19:11.000 Bro, she's a murderer. 1.00
02:19:12.000 Fucking incredible. 1.00
02:19:13.000 Incredible. 0.99
02:19:14.000 And that's gender-free. 0.98
02:19:16.000 That's male, female, doesn't matter. 1.00
02:19:17.000 She's a fucking beast. 1.00
02:19:19.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:19:20.000 Yeah, she's a killer. 0.99
02:19:21.000 Same with fighters. 0.99
02:19:22.000 Female fighters. 1.00
02:19:23.000 I don't look at them as female fighters. 1.00
02:19:25.000 Look at them as fighters.
02:19:26.000 Well, yeah. 0.97
02:19:27.000 Because they have the balls to do something I'm not going to be able to do. 0.98
02:19:30.000 Get in there and put it on the line. 0.97
02:19:32.000 Do you think you'd do a jiu-jitsu match?
02:19:33.000 I was supposed to do the Worlds this year. 1.00
02:19:37.000 Cut the fuck out of here. 0.98
02:19:38.000 I was going to do the Masters. 1.00
02:19:39.000 Really?
02:19:40.000 Yeah, in August.
02:19:41.000 Wow.
02:19:41.000 I was so excited for it because I had dropped weight and I was going to go down to 205 because I think the weight limit's 212 with the gi on.
02:19:49.000 And I'm already at 210. I'm like, fucking five more pounds, not a big deal. 0.94
02:19:54.000 Wow. 0.99
02:19:55.000 So Blue Belt Masters. 0.94
02:19:56.000 Blue Belt Masters, under 50, because I'll be 50 in September.
02:19:59.000 Wow.
02:20:00.000 I was so excited about it.
02:20:02.000 I was so pissed.
02:20:03.000 I'm like, come on.
02:20:04.000 It's not even July.
02:20:05.000 I know.
02:20:06.000 Come on, baby. 0.97
02:20:07.000 It's not going to happen this year.
02:20:08.000 It's not going to happen?
02:20:09.000 No event?
02:20:09.000 No, they're not happening.
02:20:10.000 It's not happening this year.
02:20:11.000 The Olympics are canceled this year.
02:20:13.000 Is that real?
02:20:14.000 Yeah.
02:20:15.000 The Olympics for this year, right?
02:20:17.000 Yeah, they're not happening.
02:20:18.000 The Olympics aren't happening. 0.98
02:20:19.000 If the Olympics aren't happening, then no fucking world master jiu-jitsu is going to happen. 0.98
02:20:23.000 No. 0.98
02:20:23.000 Well, there have been some grappling competitions, though. 0.98
02:20:26.000 Submission underground.
02:20:26.000 The EBIs and all that kind of stuff.
02:20:28.000 Well, Chael Sonnen's event.
02:20:30.000 Submission underground.
02:20:31.000 Is that gi or no gi?
02:20:32.000 No gi. 1.00
02:20:34.000 Listen, I like no gi, but I'm not ready for no gi. 1.00
02:20:37.000 Yeah?
02:20:37.000 How come?
02:20:38.000 I don't train enough no-gi. 0.72
02:20:40.000 I'll train no-gi every now and then. 0.99
02:20:42.000 And I enjoy it, but it's a much faster game.
02:20:45.000 It's definitely different with grips and stuff.
02:20:47.000 Grips are different.
02:20:48.000 A lot of the neck grabbing that I don't like.
02:20:50.000 You don't like neck grabbing?
02:20:51.000 Because I get pimples on my necks. 1.00
02:20:53.000 I'm always fucking, get your fucking hand away from me. 1.00
02:20:56.000 It's like boxing for me. 1.00
02:20:57.000 When I see the hand come out, I push it out of the way so I can get their neck.
02:21:00.000 Well, John Jack always says, don't ever trust your neck.
02:21:04.000 That's what he always tells me.
02:21:05.000 He goes, don't ever trust your neck unless you have my neck.
02:21:09.000 And then the guy that gave you the Iron Neck?
02:21:12.000 Yes.
02:21:13.000 You've used those?
02:21:14.000 He came to the gym shortly after I did the podcast last time, and he was dropping off one to John Jack.
02:21:19.000 Oh, beautiful.
02:21:20.000 And he was like, hey, I just heard you on Rogue. 0.99
02:21:21.000 And I go, so can I get one of these fucking things or what? 0.99
02:21:23.000 He's like, yeah. 0.99
02:21:24.000 And I never got it.
02:21:26.000 I definitely need to.
02:21:26.000 I'll give you one.
02:21:27.000 Please.
02:21:28.000 Here?
02:21:28.000 I have one here.
02:21:29.000 I have four of them.
02:21:30.000 I have one here, and I have three at my house.
02:21:33.000 Because he keeps sending me the newest versions of it, but I still use the old version.
02:21:37.000 Yeah, I just need one.
02:21:38.000 I haven't even set up the...
02:21:39.000 Look, the old version's amazing.
02:21:41.000 I'm sure the new version's better, but I haven't even bothered taking it out of the box. 0.96
02:21:44.000 I would like to just tighten this shit up here. 0.98
02:21:46.000 We'll lose some weight. 1.00
02:21:47.000 We'll tighten that shit up. 0.99
02:21:48.000 No, it's already... 1.00
02:21:49.000 Listen, I used to look like a fucking... 1.00
02:21:51.000 Like a nice sandwich. 0.99
02:21:52.000 Looked like an Arby's sandwich here before.
02:21:54.000 Have you used it?
02:21:55.000 The Iron Neck?
02:21:56.000 No, no.
02:21:56.000 You never used it?
02:21:57.000 No, but I could definitely enjoy it.
02:21:58.000 I'm pretty sure I would love to use it.
02:22:00.000 We'll go do it right now.
02:22:01.000 Right when we're done here.
02:22:02.000 I'll take you.
02:22:02.000 I'll show you.
02:22:02.000 It's real easy to use.
02:22:04.000 Real simple.
02:22:04.000 And it's the best exercise ever for strength.
02:22:06.000 And it's the safest for strengthening your neck.
02:22:09.000 Yeah, in boxing we used to have to lay at the end of the ring with your head hanging off.
02:22:13.000 Oh, okay.
02:22:14.000 And then lift weights with the weights. 1.00
02:22:16.000 Yeah, just that shit. 0.99
02:22:17.000 And it wasn't even like a thing that was secure. 1.00
02:22:20.000 It was like a fucking leather strap belt with some weights hanging off your forehead. 0.99
02:22:24.000 You had to be careful it didn't slip off. 0.99
02:22:26.000 I have one of those too, but I don't like it.
02:22:27.000 No, I didn't like it either.
02:22:29.000 I don't think it's natural to put extra weight on your head and then bend it and put all that pressure on your discs of your neck.
02:22:36.000 Yeah.
02:22:37.000 The beautiful thing about the Iron Neck is it strengthens your neck without having to bend it in any weird way.
02:22:41.000 You keep your neck totally straight.
02:22:43.000 So your posture is straight like this and you have the halo that goes on the head and then the 50-pound bungee cord.
02:22:49.000 So as you back up, you're never doing weird shit like this, which puts that additional pressure on your discs. 0.83
02:22:54.000 Right. 0.64
02:22:55.000 It's easy, buddy.
02:22:57.000 I'm looking forward to this.
02:22:58.000 Alright, we'll do it.
02:22:59.000 Anything else?
02:23:00.000 Let's wrap this up.
02:23:01.000 Anything else we need to talk about?
02:23:03.000 No, I'm good.
02:23:04.000 Whatever you like.
02:23:04.000 Let everybody know.
02:23:05.000 The Russell Peters Show will be premiering.
02:23:06.000 Let me read you what I want to tell you. 0.99
02:23:08.000 Did you write some shit down? 1.00
02:23:09.000 I wrote some shit down. 1.00
02:23:10.000 Did you? 0.99
02:23:12.000 It's a nice watch, by the way.
02:23:14.000 Thank you.
02:23:14.000 You want it?
02:23:14.000 It's very sporty.
02:23:15.000 I gave you a watch once before.
02:23:17.000 You did.
02:23:17.000 You gave me a Breitling.
02:23:18.000 And I wear it every time I do a special.
02:23:21.000 Do you?
02:23:21.000 Yep.
02:23:22.000 It's my good luck watch.
02:23:23.000 Oh, I appreciate that.
02:23:23.000 If you look at Triggered and Strange Times, I'm wearing your watch.
02:23:26.000 Oh, that's awesome.
02:23:27.000 You know, whenever I'm watching UFC, I go, what's he wearing?
02:23:30.000 And I noticed you're always wearing this stainless Roli. 0.98
02:23:34.000 I'm like, fuck, that's not my watch. 0.96
02:23:36.000 I wear your watch all the time. 0.99
02:23:37.000 I know.
02:23:37.000 That makes me happy.
02:23:38.000 That makes me happy, too.
02:23:39.000 I still have the watch you gave me for that.
02:23:41.000 I just had a watch on.
02:23:43.000 You had a watch on.
02:23:44.000 You had a leather strap.
02:23:44.000 You said it smelled.
02:23:45.000 It fucking stinks. 1.00
02:23:47.000 Holy shit. 1.00
02:23:49.000 It fucking stunk. 1.00
02:23:52.000 It's an old-ass watch. 0.99
02:23:54.000 But when you gave me that watch, like legitimately, I think my Comedy Central special from 2014 has that watch on too.
02:24:02.000 That's my good luck watch.
02:24:04.000 Oh, that's awesome.
02:24:04.000 I wear it for every special.
02:24:05.000 That makes me really happy.
02:24:06.000 Makes me happy too, bud.
02:24:08.000 Let's see.
02:24:09.000 What do I want?
02:24:10.000 Different psychedelics, blah, blah, blah.
02:24:12.000 I said to my guy, I said, hey, Todd, I'm doing Rogan today.
02:24:16.000 I want to talk about our company.
02:24:18.000 And he goes, oh, that's the one I'm working with, the one I'm CCO of, Red Light Holland.
02:24:24.000 And I'm like, oh, great.
02:24:25.000 And then I go, send me some talking points. 0.99
02:24:27.000 This fucking guy sends me... 0.99
02:24:30.000 I'm like, these aren't points. 1.00
02:24:31.000 This is a paragraph.
02:24:32.000 I don't know.
02:24:33.000 I need something I can look at and get the information real quick.
02:24:35.000 That's more than a paragraph.
02:24:37.000 That's many paragraphs.
02:24:38.000 It keeps going.
02:24:39.000 Yeah, that's a lecture.
02:24:40.000 He sent you a TED talk. 0.99
02:24:41.000 Fucking Todd Shapiro. 0.99
02:24:43.000 Anyway, redlighttruffles.com. 0.99
02:24:46.000 That's what I wanted to know.
02:24:46.000 I can't imagine how the truffles are legal and then the caps are not.
02:24:51.000 Maybe it's a Holland thing.
02:24:51.000 Because it's the root.
02:24:52.000 Yeah, but it's still psilocybin.
02:24:55.000 Right, but, for some reason, it's the loophole, and we're taking advantage of the loophole.
02:25:01.000 Okay, I'm all in. 0.98
02:25:02.000 And we're doing it in a way that it doesn't fuck you up.
02:25:05.000 How's that? 0.83
02:25:07.000 We're taking the right amounts for the microdosing.
02:25:10.000 It's microdosing only at this point.
02:25:12.000 Well, a lot of people in San Francisco, before San Francisco imploded, they were all doing the microdosing in tech communities.
02:25:19.000 They were doing it.
02:25:20.000 It was really big.
02:25:21.000 That'd be great, yeah, because you open up your mind, you get some ideas.
02:25:24.000 Yeah.
02:25:25.000 What does Elon do then? 0.97
02:25:26.000 Because he's got some fucking wild out there ideas. 0.98
02:25:29.000 Bro, Elon's on another level. 0.97
02:25:32.000 He's the next stage of evolution.
02:25:35.000 That's what I think.
02:25:36.000 I think we're all like chimp people and he's like this new thing. 1.00
02:25:40.000 Yeah.
02:25:40.000 And then he named his kid then.
02:25:42.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:25:43.000 I saw a meme.
02:25:44.000 It said, Elon Musk's kid will not have birthdays.
02:25:47.000 It'll have updates.
02:25:51.000 Yeah. 0.97
02:25:51.000 He's too fucking smart. 0.97
02:25:53.000 I don't want to be that smart. 0.99
02:25:54.000 That's one of the things that I asked him, too.
02:25:55.000 I was like, what is it like?
02:25:56.000 You're like, you wouldn't want to be me.
02:25:58.000 He literally said that.
02:25:59.000 I can't imagine him getting sleep.
02:26:01.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:26:01.000 I mean, I think ideas are just bouncing off his head like a fucking Super Bowl. 0.99
02:26:06.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:26:06.000 The inside of his head just... 0.99
02:26:08.000 Yeah, it's like Pong.
02:26:10.000 Yeah.
02:26:10.000 But when you get it stuck between things...
02:26:13.000 Yeah.
02:26:14.000 Rough. 1.00
02:26:15.000 Better off being dumb, I guess. 1.00
02:26:16.000 Right? 0.99
02:26:17.000 I mean, you're, to me, you are, I don't know if you know this, but to me and a lot of people, I would say almost all of your listeners, you are the guy that a lot of people go to to find out information.
02:26:28.000 Yeah, because I have a good memory.
02:26:29.000 But that's it.
02:26:30.000 You have a good memory and you're non-biased.
02:26:34.000 I try.
02:26:35.000 I try very hard.
02:26:37.000 That's one thing that I've learned from doing this podcast.
02:26:39.000 I've learned how to look at information for what it really is.
02:26:43.000 And I've learned there's zero benefit in not admitting you're wrong and zero benefit in pretending you have information that you don't have.
02:26:51.000 Like, if I don't know something, I ask.
02:26:54.000 It's very important.
02:26:55.000 Yeah, you're very good at retaining things. 0.99
02:26:59.000 Some things, ask my wife, a lot of shit I don't keep. 0.93
02:27:02.000 I mean, you didn't remember to download Scotty Fox's mix that I sent you, but I mean... 0.98
02:27:07.000 When you told me, I was probably high.
02:27:09.000 We were at dinner, it was you, me, the hunter guy, and the black guy who makes me feel bad about sleeping in. 0.98
02:27:16.000 Oh, Goggins.
02:27:17.000 That's hilarious.
02:27:19.000 So is it Cam Haynes and Goggins?
02:27:20.000 Yeah.
02:27:21.000 That's right.
02:27:22.000 We're in Vegas.
02:27:22.000 Yeah.
02:27:23.000 That's right.
02:27:23.000 It was the four of us.
02:27:24.000 That's right.
02:27:25.000 That's right.
02:27:25.000 And Chuck Zito had that crazy jacket with the tassels, the crazy Native American jacket.
02:27:31.000 So he comes over to hug everybody and his tassels are getting into everybody's drinks.
02:27:35.000 It's got gravy on them and stuff.
02:27:36.000 Chuck Zito's such a character.
02:27:38.000 I love Chuck.
02:27:39.000 He's, you know, despite his hard exterior, he's the sweetest guy in the world.
02:27:42.000 Sweet guy.
02:27:43.000 I could count on him at any time of the day.
02:27:45.000 Yeah, he's quite a character too.
02:27:47.000 67 years old.
02:27:49.000 That's amazing.
02:27:49.000 He looks great.
02:27:50.000 Looks great.
02:27:51.000 He had a health scare a while back, right?
02:27:53.000 A few, four or five years ago.
02:27:55.000 Prostate cancer.
02:27:56.000 Got it removed.
02:27:57.000 Bounced back.
02:27:57.000 Bounced back.
02:27:58.000 Beautiful.
02:27:59.000 The old school, you know, the old school guys are like, you know, it's about honor and their word.
02:28:03.000 And I appreciate that.
02:28:05.000 I think I'm a little old school in that regard.
02:28:08.000 Yeah, I think you are too.
02:28:09.000 I would say that.
02:28:10.000 Yeah.
02:28:11.000 Yeah.
02:28:12.000 All about my word. 1.00
02:28:14.000 Fuck it. 1.00
02:28:15.000 Fuck it. 1.00
02:28:16.000 Russell Peters show coming soon. 1.00
02:28:18.000 When can people plan on it?
02:28:19.000 September?
02:28:20.000 Oh, you tell me.
02:28:20.000 I'm going to need you.
02:28:21.000 September.
02:28:21.000 September?
02:28:22.000 Let's do it.
02:28:22.000 Yeah, we'll work it out through this month in August.
02:28:24.000 Joe's going to guide me through this.
02:28:25.000 Start doing some dry runs.
02:28:27.000 I'll be guest number one.
02:28:28.000 How about that? 0.97
02:28:28.000 That'd be fucking amazing. 0.97
02:28:29.000 Yes! 0.99
02:28:30.000 We'll get you high on mushrooms.
02:28:31.000 We'll figure it out.
02:28:32.000 You know, we'll get high on mushrooms and do the first one.
02:28:34.000 That sounds good.
02:28:35.000 That's amazing.
02:28:36.000 Let's do that.
02:28:36.000 Russell Peters, ladies and gentlemen.
02:28:38.000 Goodbye, America and the rest of the world.