The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1825 - Ali Siddiq

00:00:01.000 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out!

00:00:03.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:06.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day!

00:00:12.000 The drones are the cigar choice, a short story.

00:00:19.000 And smoking cigars with D.L. so much.

00:00:24.000 I know a good cigar, Oliver.

00:00:27.000 Mmm.

00:00:29.000 It's a good cigar.

00:00:31.000 Yeah, this is solid.

00:00:32.000 I've had Cuban cigars, and I know they're supposed to be better, and I believe they're good.

00:00:38.000 But I do not know if they're better.

00:00:40.000 You could lie to me. 0.99

00:00:42.000 You could give me a good Dominican cigar, and I'd be like, damn, Cuban. 1.00

00:00:47.000 Nice. 0.99

00:00:47.000 I don't know. 0.99

00:00:49.000 You know what you like when you like it.

00:00:52.000 I drink Cabernet and you know how they come to the table and they tell you this valley and this is from this.

00:01:01.000 And I just said, eh, nine ounce.

00:01:06.000 And then I like it, I like it.

00:01:08.000 But other than that, There was a documentary, I've talked about this before, but there's a documentary called Sour Grapes.

00:01:16.000 And it's all about wine connoisseurs getting hustled by this dude who figured out how to mix wine to make it taste like old wine.

00:01:23.000 And he put fake labels on them and he sold them for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

00:01:28.000 Millions of dollars worth of wine this guy sold.

00:01:30.000 Like bottles for a couple hundred thousand dollars.

00:01:33.000 And...

00:01:35.000 Unfortunately, he sold a fake bottle to the Koch brothers.

00:01:38.000 Oh. 0.99

00:01:38.000 And one of the Koch brothers, someone was going through their collection, going, what the fuck is this? 0.99

00:01:43.000 And he's like, oh, that's a... 0.99

00:01:44.000 And they're like, no, it's not.

00:01:46.000 And then the next thing you know, he gets his wine examined, and he's like, bro, you have a bunch of fake wine in here.

00:01:53.000 And then they find out this one dude had been making these fake labels and blending these cheaper wines together to try to create a taste that's similar to a really expensive wine. 0.78

00:02:05.000 That's ridiculous.

00:02:07.000 Everything that he went through, he could have just... 0.98

00:02:13.000 Made a wine.

00:02:14.000 You'd think so, but he made millions.

00:02:17.000 Millions and millions and millions of dollars.

00:02:19.000 To hustle people.

00:02:19.000 But he came from a criminal family.

00:02:21.000 Like, when they went into the whole family of it.

00:02:24.000 Like, the family, one of the brothers had stolen a bunch of money out of a bank.

00:02:30.000 And, like, hundreds of millions of dollars, right?

00:02:33.000 Wasn't it, like, some insane amount of money?

00:02:35.000 Remember that part?

00:02:36.000 And, you know, he's on the run.

00:02:37.000 He's hiding somewhere.

00:02:39.000 So, it's like the whole family's been con artists.

00:02:43.000 Their whole life.

00:02:44.000 And this guy just figured out a way to get in with these wine people.

00:02:47.000 Because the way he did it was pretty genius.

00:02:49.000 First he went and started going to auctions and buying up really expensive wine.

00:02:53.000 So he became known in the wine community as this guy.

00:02:56.000 Like, oh, he knows.

00:02:57.000 He knows the wines.

00:02:58.000 He knows.

00:02:59.000 And then he said, I'm going to get rid of some of my wines.

00:03:02.000 You know, I don't need...

00:03:03.000 I have too much wine.

00:03:04.000 Nowhere to store it.

00:03:05.000 So I'm going to sell some of my choice wines to, like, Sotheby's.

00:03:08.000 So they would auction off some of his choice wines.

00:03:10.000 And then the winery found out...

00:03:12.000 And the winery's like, we never made that label on that year.

00:03:16.000 Like, this is all fake.

00:03:17.000 It's wild, though, dude. 0.99

00:03:19.000 Because it's that thing, it's like, people want exclusive shit. 0.99

00:03:22.000 Ah, Cuban cigars. 0.99

00:03:25.000 With sneakers, they find out some people are selling fake sneakers.

00:03:29.000 That makes sense.

00:03:30.000 It's like...

00:03:31.000 Yeah.

00:03:32.000 I don't know, you can make a sneaker, so...

00:03:34.000 Yeah, it's leather.

00:03:36.000 I mean, once you get past the printing of the soles, everything else seems like you could kind of do.

00:03:43.000 The only way that you can make a shoe exclusive, and this would be just utterly ridiculous, if your shoe...

00:03:56.000 Was put on the foot of the person that's buying it.

00:04:02.000 Right.

00:04:03.000 Formed.

00:04:05.000 Ken Griffith Jr. stepped in your shoe, or at least tried to put it on, held it in his hand, and then they sold it to you.

00:04:14.000 He dealt with the shoe.

00:04:17.000 All these Ken Griffiths over here are...

00:04:19.000 Regular Ken Griffiths, but these are handheld Ken Griffith Jr. sneakers.

00:04:25.000 And you would have to have like chain of custody.

00:04:28.000 From Ken to you.

00:04:31.000 Where it's a photo of him with a video of him touching your shoe, putting it in the box, and then it's coming to you.

00:04:38.000 And maybe like signing his name on the inside lip.

00:04:42.000 Right?

00:04:43.000 On the tongue just a little bit?

00:04:45.000 I wouldn't even tell them what it was.

00:04:47.000 It would be something like they know when your shoe is authentic that you don't even know that it has.

00:04:55.000 But you know, this is authentic.

00:04:56.000 You got paperwork on it.

00:04:57.000 But what makes it authentic?

00:04:59.000 I don't know.

00:04:59.000 Let me see your shoe.

00:05:00.000 And then they turn around and they put some light on it.

00:05:03.000 And they're like, nope, nope.

00:05:04.000 Don't have it.

00:05:06.000 Then, yes.

00:05:07.000 Because people...

00:05:08.000 I don't know.

00:05:10.000 I don't know.

00:05:11.000 It's like...

00:05:13.000 What is exclusive?

00:05:15.000 What is exclusive?

00:05:16.000 Like, if you sit in first class on a plane, are you really getting anything other than...

00:05:24.000 Getting a bigger seat.

00:05:25.000 Eh.

00:05:26.000 But you're paying sometimes, like, way more.

00:05:29.000 Like, what is it?

00:05:30.000 A coach seat can be $400.

00:05:31.000 A first class might be $2,000.

00:05:34.000 Yeah.

00:05:35.000 And you go in the same place.

00:05:36.000 So if the plane went down...

00:05:40.000 Like, do you live?

00:05:41.000 No, you're more likely to die.

00:05:43.000 The people in the back live.

00:05:44.000 Like, do people say, ah, Joe, I heard you was in a plane accident.

00:05:51.000 Everybody's like, yeah, I was in first class.

00:05:53.000 Like, why would I be dead?

00:05:55.000 Your bag's everywhere.

00:05:57.000 Like, you and eight people, like, the plane had done all type of flips, and it's on fire, but y'all have no idea.

00:06:06.000 Y'all still in the front.

00:06:07.000 Huh?

00:06:08.000 Something's going on out there, I think.

00:06:12.000 And then you get out of a box, a first-class box, and you're like...

00:06:19.000 Wow.

00:06:20.000 Didn't know all that was going on.

00:06:22.000 Everyone's gone and thank goodness this first class seat was available.

00:06:26.000 People love exclusivity though.

00:06:28.000 They love to be above the herd.

00:06:30.000 Above the crowd.

00:06:32.000 Look at me with my fancy clothes.

00:06:35.000 I sat courtside once and realized that I had to walk up to get out and was pissed. 1.00

00:06:49.000 All these days, the further I started going down, I was like, man, shit! 0.99

00:06:54.000 Like, I gotta walk back up that way to get out? 1.00

00:06:56.000 God damn it! 0.99

00:06:57.000 Why don't they have a courtside exit? 0.99

00:07:00.000 Right?

00:07:01.000 That would be exclusive.

00:07:02.000 Real exclusive.

00:07:03.000 You go through the locker room.

00:07:05.000 Man, it was insane.

00:07:08.000 All the steps that I had to take to go do anything. 0.99

00:07:11.000 I was like, damn it. 0.97

00:07:12.000 I haven't gone to see a sporting event live in forever. 0.99

00:07:16.000 And then I went the other night to an Austin FC soccer game.

00:07:20.000 And it's like 22,000 people in the arena.

00:07:23.000 It was great.

00:07:24.000 It was a lot of fun.

00:07:24.000 I've never seen soccer live.

00:07:25.000 It was great.

00:07:26.000 Like, I appreciate it now.

00:07:27.000 I watched it on TV. I'm like, eh, not enough action.

00:07:29.000 But when you're there live and you see how fast those guys run and how much skill involved and tactics and strategy. 0.99

00:07:36.000 But goddamn leaving is a pain in the dick. 0.99

00:07:39.000 When there's 22,000 people trying to get out of the same two lanes, like, oh, Christ. 1.00

00:07:43.000 And then there's a light up ahead, you gotta wait for the light to turn green? 1.00

00:07:46.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:07:48.000 It's, um... 1.00

00:07:50.000 I thought of this.

00:07:52.000 Because I had this new special that just came out.

00:07:55.000 I thought as soon as it came out that they was gonna invite me to a sporting event, like, to shoot the free throw if I'm on the list.

00:08:04.000 Throw the first pitch?

00:08:05.000 I throw the first pitch.

00:08:07.000 Because in Houston, I see other people.

00:08:09.000 I see lesser celebrities shooting the free throw from the line for charity, and I'll just be pissed.

00:08:16.000 Like, why haven't they called me yet to...

00:08:19.000 I'm on, like, special number four.

00:08:22.000 Like, what's the holdup?

00:08:23.000 Like, what's the holdup on... 1.00

00:08:25.000 Who is not picking up the phone for me to shoot this damn shot? 0.99

00:08:30.000 Do you have a publicist that calls people for that? 1.00

00:08:33.000 Nah.

00:08:33.000 I think that's what it is.

00:08:34.000 That's what it is.

00:08:35.000 The people that get that chase it. 1.00

00:08:37.000 They chase that shit. 1.00

00:08:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:08:39.000 It's like Hollywood Walk of Fame, like the star.

00:08:42.000 You could get a star.

00:08:43.000 You just have to pay for it and have someone set it up.

00:08:46.000 There's a lot of people that have stars that you've never heard of them before.

00:08:50.000 They just paid for it.

00:08:52.000 You just walk in like, who is Rudy Jackson?

00:08:55.000 Exactly, exactly.

00:08:57.000 It's not a joke.

00:08:58.000 Like, what did he do?

00:09:00.000 And he like right by the Starbucks.

00:09:04.000 Walk down Hollywood Boulevard.

00:09:06.000 And then you find out that the homeless person down the way is Rudy Jackson.

00:09:11.000 I used to be a great man.

00:09:13.000 Back in the day, I was Samuel Jackson's stunt double.

00:09:19.000 Exclusivity is a thing, man.

00:09:21.000 It's like people pay for fake exclusivity.

00:09:23.000 There was just a bust.

00:09:25.000 They busted...

00:09:25.000 They said it was $10 million worth of fake Rolexes.

00:09:29.000 And I'm like, well, if they're fake, they should be worth nothing.

00:09:34.000 Right?

00:09:36.000 Like, are you busting me for trying?

00:09:39.000 Right? 0.98

00:09:41.000 I'm the real loser here, sir!

00:09:43.000 The thing about a fake Rolex is, though, they can make a fake Rolex exactly like a real Rolex. 0.72

00:09:49.000 Exactly.

00:09:50.000 Because they use 3D printing.

00:09:52.000 So what they do is they'll take a model, like they'll do a computer model of every single part in a Rolex.

00:09:59.000 They'll take it apart and then they make a duplicate version of it.

00:10:03.000 Every part.

00:10:04.000 Everything.

00:10:05.000 Every screw, every little wheel, every little mechanical piece inside that moves, and then they put it all together.

00:10:11.000 Yeah, this is it right here.

00:10:12.000 U.S. Customs and Border Protection said it seized 460 counterfeit Rolexes shipped to the U.S. from Hong Kong.

00:10:19.000 You won't even be able to tell the difference, man.

00:10:21.000 First of all, my eyesight sucks anyway, because I have to put reading glasses on.

00:10:27.000 So it's a Rolex that I'm looking for, that they say that people, it's hard to find.

00:10:34.000 It's the silver one with the green face.

00:10:37.000 It's an Oyster 41. If anybody in Hong Kong making one of them just, you know...

00:10:45.000 I get the one I want.

00:10:48.000 I be hearing about women getting gifted things that's on their wish list. 1.00

00:10:55.000 I'm like, if I put a wish list together, they'd be like, you fucking bum. 1.00

00:11:01.000 You a fucking beggar, Ali. 1.00

00:11:04.000 Women can do it. 1.00

00:11:06.000 They always complain about it's not always but sometimes they complain about it's a double standard. 1.00

00:11:13.000 It fucking is! 0.99

00:11:14.000 Of course it is. 0.99

00:11:15.000 If I go on the internet and put on a halter top And put a wet t-shirt, a wet halter top on and put it right up underneath my chest.

00:11:28.000 I get no money.

00:11:31.000 I get complaints of people. 1.00

00:11:33.000 Hey, I need $10 for the shit you put on in there. 1.00

00:11:37.000 People are requesting money from me. 1.00

00:11:39.000 But you do it.

00:11:41.000 Let a woman put on a wet hot top right beneath her breast and just put on there, donate. 1.00

00:11:48.000 I guarantee you could be a millionaire. 0.65

00:11:50.000 For sure.

00:11:51.000 Easily.

00:11:52.000 There was a woman who was working for a friend of mine. 0.72

00:11:54.000 She was just in production of his podcast and she would take photos of her feet and put her feet on OnlyFans and she was making $100,000 a month.

00:12:05.000 Showing her feet.

00:12:06.000 The lady who does my feet has taken videos of my feet and I've seen them on her page of other Korean ladies laughing. 0.96

00:12:19.000 Look at that baby toe. 1.00

00:12:22.000 I think it's work.

00:12:25.000 You get your toes done?

00:12:26.000 You get pedicure?

00:12:27.000 Hell yeah, I go get a pedicure. 0.99

00:12:29.000 Like, yo, I took one of the toughest dudes. 0.99

00:12:34.000 Like, I always take some hood dude to something that they deem as some non-manly shit. 0.97

00:12:41.000 And I'm like, yo, listen, my man. 0.99

00:12:44.000 My man Papa Doc.

00:12:46.000 He said his feet has been hurting.

00:12:48.000 I said, yo, listen.

00:12:49.000 You gotta get you a pair of hokas. 0.99

00:12:51.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:12:52.000 So he went and got them. 1.00

00:12:53.000 He told me, yo, I feel like I'm walking on fucking pillows. 1.00

00:12:56.000 I'm like, hokas is the shit. 1.00

00:12:58.000 Hoka like running shoes? 1.00

00:12:59.000 Yeah.

00:12:59.000 They're great.

00:13:00.000 Oh my goodness, great.

00:13:01.000 Best shoe ever made.

00:13:02.000 So I said, man, he got plantar fasciitis.

00:13:07.000 And I said, man, you got to get your feet done.

00:13:09.000 That's a part of mental health, healthcare, you know, getting your feet done. 0.99

00:13:14.000 He's like, man, I ain't fucking with it. 0.98

00:13:16.000 I'm scared. 0.99

00:13:17.000 I'm not doing it.

00:13:18.000 And I'm ticklish. 0.99

00:13:19.000 I don't nobody touch my goddamn feet. 0.99

00:13:21.000 I'm like, I'm going to go with you. 0.99

00:13:24.000 And he's like, I don't give a shit who go. 0.99

00:13:27.000 I'm not fucking with it. 0.99

00:13:28.000 I said, listen, I got you. 0.99

00:13:29.000 I'm going to go with you.

00:13:30.000 I'm going to take you to my place.

00:13:32.000 And he said, all right.

00:13:33.000 And I said, listen, before we get in here, We're getting a deluxe.

00:13:38.000 We're getting the highest package. 1.00

00:13:40.000 The lady gonna put all types of shit on your feet. 1.00

00:13:42.000 Mayonnaise, cucumbers, all type of buttermilk. 1.00

00:13:45.000 She gonna boil the motherfuckers in acid. 1.00

00:13:46.000 She gonna do everything to your feet. 1.00

00:13:48.000 Trust me.

00:13:50.000 One of the toughest dudes.

00:13:51.000 I'm like, I've had situations.

00:13:53.000 I've called him and he showed up with no problem.

00:13:56.000 Like, yo, what's up? 0.80

00:13:57.000 I'm killing everybody. 0.98

00:14:00.000 But you would think that I was taking him to the electric chair. 0.97

00:14:08.000 I'm like, yo, man, are you going to come in the place of nothing? 1.00

00:14:10.000 I ain't fucking with you. 0.99

00:14:11.000 He looking in there like it's a setup, like it's a mob hit. 0.99

00:14:14.000 Like, who all in there?

00:14:15.000 Man, listen! 1.00

00:14:17.000 Elderly people come in here, women come in here, women be fucked up. 1.00

00:14:21.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:14:22.000 Listen, So he sits down, takes his shoes off, and as soon as he put his feet in the water, I'm talking to him the whole time, just trying to get his mind off of it. 1.00

00:14:32.000 And he's like, man, fucking water. 0.99

00:14:34.000 The water bubbling. 1.00

00:14:36.000 He's like, I see him easing up.

00:14:38.000 Then she comes out with this tray of all sorts of fruit and oranges, put them on his legs. 1.00

00:14:44.000 He's like, man, what type of fucking fruit salad shit is this? 0.99

00:14:52.000 Right when he getting the cucumber rub between his toes and all that, he look over at me as he's drinking. 1.00

00:14:58.000 They bring you drinks.

00:15:00.000 I'm having a mimosa.

00:15:01.000 He having an orange juice because he tell me I got to stay on my toes.

00:15:04.000 You can't stay on your toes in here, man.

00:15:06.000 Your toes in the water.

00:15:10.000 He's on high alert.

00:15:12.000 This whole experience is not, it's supposed to be relaxing.

00:15:16.000 A lady come in and she put his massage chair on. 1.00

00:15:23.000 You can see it easing up on him.

00:15:27.000 Before I know it, he in there sleep.

00:15:29.000 Lady doing everything to his feet. 0.86

00:15:32.000 She sawing him.

00:15:33.000 She taking off his toes.

00:15:34.000 She doing everything.

00:15:36.000 The lady took his feet off and just took him to the back with her. 1.00

00:15:39.000 She was like, yo, there's a lot of shit going on. 0.99

00:15:42.000 He walked out. 1.00

00:15:44.000 He walking out and he turns to me and said, man, God damn. 1.00

00:15:49.000 Oh, that shit was amazing, man. 1.00

00:15:51.000 Got me some new feet! 1.00

00:15:54.000 You converted him.

00:15:56.000 I'm like, he'll be back without me.

00:15:59.000 He'll be back in there without me.

00:16:01.000 He know where to go.

00:16:02.000 Yeah, but maybe.

00:16:03.000 Sometimes it's hard.

00:16:04.000 It's like going to the movies by yourself.

00:16:06.000 It's a big leap.

00:16:07.000 Is it?

00:16:08.000 Some people.

00:16:09.000 Man, I go to the movies by myself in a heart.

00:16:11.000 But you're a comic, and you go on the road.

00:16:13.000 You go on the road, especially if you've got an annoying opening act.

00:16:16.000 Oh. 0.98

00:16:17.000 You know, if you go on the road, and you go to Cincinnati, and you've never been to Cincinnati before, and they've got a local guy opening for you, and he's annoying, you know, and you wake up, and it's 11 a.m., you're like, fuck, what am I going to do today? 0.87

00:16:28.000 I'll go to the gym. 0.89

00:16:30.000 No one's playing in the movies. 1.00

00:16:32.000 Fuck it, I'm going to go to the movies by myself. 1.00

00:16:35.000 And I commandeer... 1.00

00:16:37.000 Both seats on the side of me with vittles.

00:16:43.000 If I'm going to movies, this is not a healthy experience. 1.00

00:16:47.000 All the bullshit. 1.00

00:16:49.000 Sour Patch Kids. 1.00

00:16:51.000 Sour Patch Kids.

00:16:52.000 I want the Twistlers. 1.00

00:16:55.000 This is the only time I eat a box of fucking... 1.00

00:16:58.000 Thin mint. 1.00

00:16:59.000 The junior mints. 0.97

00:17:00.000 I eat a box of them shits in the course of the movie with nachos. 0.97

00:17:05.000 I need my nachos with jalapenos. 0.99

00:17:07.000 I need my popcorn jalapenos.

00:17:09.000 I put jalapenos in my popcorn.

00:17:12.000 Ah, man. 1.00

00:17:13.000 I'm just going to have so much bad shit. 0.99

00:17:16.000 And I need it in both chairs. 0.99

00:17:19.000 I'm going to sit back and I'm going to watch.

00:17:21.000 And I be on high alert too in the movies sometimes, but most of the time I'm just in there relaxing.

00:17:27.000 And I already have an exit plan though. 0.99

00:17:29.000 Somebody coming in with some bullshit, I got an exit plan. 1.00

00:17:32.000 This fucking kid shooting yesterday is just, that's when you think about exit plan. 1.00

00:17:39.000 People always want to think, You know, what would I do? 1.00

00:17:44.000 What would I do if something happened like that?

00:17:46.000 Like this elementary school shooting. 1.00

00:17:49.000 This elementary school, the more I'm reading about it, the more fucked it is. 1.00

00:17:52.000 They saw him go in. 1.00

00:17:53.000 The cops didn't stop him.

00:17:55.000 They didn't go in after him.

00:17:57.000 He was in there for 40 minutes.

00:17:59.000 For 40 minutes, the parents are outside.

00:18:01.000 This video of the parents screaming at the cops, trying to get the cops to go in.

00:18:05.000 Finally, Border Patrol gets there.

00:18:07.000 Border Patrol goes in, and they kill him.

00:18:13.000 I talked about it the day of because it was...

00:18:17.000 I'm on the radio in Houston, and it said it comes across shooting on...

00:18:27.000 Uvalde is what it said.

00:18:30.000 So immediately we start trying to correct people because in Houston we have a street, Uvalde.

00:18:39.000 And that's what people heard.

00:18:42.000 So we went in correcting it and it's in Uvalde, Texas.

00:18:48.000 And the first thing I'm like...

00:18:55.000 Who went to the school and why?

00:19:01.000 And why are we still in this same position over and over again?

00:19:06.000 The level of concern that we have for children is really lackluster in this country because why is this continuing to happen?

00:19:14.000 Why is it no security?

00:19:16.000 Why was he able to even get in the school if you're looking at him and you know he doesn't go?

00:19:22.000 You don't want to stop him to even ask a question?

00:19:28.000 I'm confused of why people with these issues go to the most...

00:19:40.000 Why this place?

00:19:42.000 Because it's horrific.

00:19:43.000 They do it because it's the worst thing you can do.

00:19:46.000 They're shooting little kids.

00:19:48.000 They're going to an elementary school kid.

00:19:50.000 You're getting like 8-year-olds, 10-year-olds.

00:19:52.000 It's the most horrific thing.

00:19:54.000 The most innocent.

00:19:55.000 And we know that this is a possibility, right?

00:19:58.000 And we know that this has happened.

00:20:00.000 So why don't lawmakers make the law a law to be, if you commit this horrific crime, If you go anywhere...

00:20:12.000 The consequence is so dire...

00:20:18.000 That we...

00:20:18.000 That this is the time...

00:20:20.000 This is a... 0.99

00:20:20.000 Like, you get beheaded. 0.99

00:20:22.000 This is... 0.84

00:20:22.000 Once again, it's back off to like... 0.84

00:20:24.000 Yeah, but these guys want to die.

00:20:26.000 Like... 0.99

00:20:26.000 It's a death sentence. 0.99

00:20:27.000 They know...

00:20:28.000 Like, if that guy's in there for 40 minutes, he's not trying to live. 0.97

00:20:30.000 He's waiting for someone to come in and kill him.

00:20:32.000 That's a lot of these guys. 1.00

00:20:33.000 It's a suicide run.

00:20:35.000 I think some of them feel like they're going to live and somebody's going to make a movie about them.

00:20:40.000 I think that you...

00:20:43.000 Because if... 1.00

00:20:46.000 I would kill you before you even got... 1.00

00:20:49.000 You walking up, it's going to be a problem. 1.00

00:20:52.000 As soon as you walking up to the school, it's going to be some resistance.

00:20:57.000 Because they know that there's no resistance to these places.

00:21:02.000 So...

00:21:04.000 We have to put up some walls of safety when we know that these things happen in this country and people's mental health.

00:21:10.000 I'm not even blaming on mental health a lot of these things.

00:21:14.000 It's this desire of sensationalism that a lot of these people have.

00:21:20.000 And you should combat it at all angles of it prior to it.

00:21:26.000 Protection is preventive.

00:21:29.000 Yeah.

00:21:30.000 Well, somebody pointed out, and it's a good point, how do we have $40 billion to send to Ukraine and we don't have $40 billion to protect the schools?

00:21:41.000 Exactly.

00:21:42.000 Where's the money getting allocated?

00:21:43.000 But I said this about every single problem they have in this country.

00:21:46.000 Every time there's like a report on the shootings in Chicago.

00:21:49.000 How do we have money to send to other countries when we don't have enough money to fix whatever's going on the south side of Chicago or Baltimore or parts of Detroit?

00:22:00.000 If we have this money, how is it poverty?

00:22:04.000 Right.

00:22:05.000 Okay, so you find money for other things, but you don't find money to correct the problems here?

00:22:12.000 Exactly, exactly.

00:22:13.000 It's almost like...

00:22:14.000 Well, it has to be...

00:22:16.000 It's almost like it has to be profitable. 0.98

00:22:18.000 Like, you remember when we invaded Iraq and Halliburton got these no-bid contracts to fix all the shit we blew up? 0.97

00:22:27.000 Give them a no-bid contract... 0.98

00:22:30.000 To fix Chicago.

00:22:31.000 Go in there.

00:22:32.000 Fix it.

00:22:32.000 Go in there.

00:22:33.000 Set up community centers.

00:22:35.000 Set up whatever you can do to protect people.

00:22:37.000 Set up whatever you can do to educate people.

00:22:39.000 Set up whatever you can do to provide people with better housing.

00:22:42.000 Give them hope.

00:22:43.000 Do the country.

00:22:44.000 The whole country.

00:22:45.000 Do the whole country.

00:22:46.000 If you've got that much money to go into these other countries and fix things. 0.97

00:22:51.000 And this whole idea of us being the police of the world, how the fuck can we be the police of the world? 0.86

00:22:55.000 We can't even police our own backyard. 0.80

00:22:56.000 How do I have a...

00:22:57.000 I have a plan to eradicate homelessness, but the smartest people in this world don't have a plan.

00:23:05.000 What's your plan?

00:23:06.000 Simple.

00:23:07.000 So, in most cities, you have these abandoned buildings.

00:23:11.000 You have a lot of abandoned buildings.

00:23:13.000 You go in, you refurbish this building, and you start people right at the top.

00:23:18.000 And it's a tier system that...

00:23:21.000 As you tear out the door.

00:23:23.000 So whatever your situation is, whether it's mental health, you get that fixed there.

00:23:28.000 Whether it's financial literacy, you get that fixed there.

00:23:31.000 Whatever your situation is, you get fixed in this building that this is what this recovery center is for.

00:23:37.000 Then you put them in jobs within the building because it's ran by grants within the building to heighten the skills that they already have.

00:23:46.000 And you ask people, what are their interests?

00:23:48.000 What do they want to be?

00:23:49.000 What were you before this happened to you?

00:23:51.000 How did this happen?

00:23:52.000 You get all that back information.

00:23:54.000 And as they are tearing out, the money that's allocated for each particular client through this grant, half of that money is being put to the side for when they get ready to come out.

00:24:08.000 You're not letting them out of this program.

00:24:11.000 Just naked with just the skills that they acquired in this program.

00:24:14.000 You're giving them a new lease on life.

00:24:17.000 This is the money that you acquired by being through this program.

00:24:21.000 Let's help you start your life from this point.

00:24:24.000 And you invest in the businesses that they're starting.

00:24:27.000 You invest in their life, whether it's a trade center.

00:24:29.000 You invest in these people.

00:24:31.000 And with the notion of they're going to reinvest a percentage back into the building to help more people.

00:24:37.000 And you keep recycling people back into the world In that manner.

00:24:42.000 So when you see somebody homeless, they're like, I'm homeless, I can't help myself. 1.00

00:24:44.000 They're like, bullshit. 0.99

00:24:45.000 It's a building right there that helps every single person that even falls on hard times. 1.00

00:24:50.000 And then you give people free health care.

00:24:52.000 I bet if you did that for several generations, you could put a massive debt in it.

00:24:56.000 I don't think you'd ever totally fix it, because you're never going to fix abusive parents, sexual abuse, drug abuse when you're young.

00:25:03.000 You get people out of there.

00:25:05.000 You get people out that situation.

00:25:06.000 Because the...

00:25:08.000 I had an abusive stepfather.

00:25:11.000 The only way to remedy this is to get out of this.

00:25:16.000 Because you can't fix him.

00:25:17.000 You got to focus on me.

00:25:20.000 And get me to safety.

00:25:22.000 But if you cripple somebody thinking that somebody... 0.93

00:25:27.000 We're good to go.

00:25:49.000 That's definitely true.

00:25:50.000 But the amount of resources you would have to have to take care of every family where every person is being abused.

00:25:56.000 We have it because we can give it up.

00:25:58.000 We throw away more food in this country than most countries produce in a year.

00:26:04.000 Our waste ratio, if our waste ratio change, then our condition change.

00:26:11.000 Because if you allocate funds to the right thing instead of wasting funds, Even with this, people say it's a misinformation in certain things.

00:26:25.000 Yes, it is when the federal government doesn't allocate funds to certain people to eradicate the misinformation in media.

00:26:34.000 In media, it's federal funds that go out to media companies.

00:26:38.000 Why you don't get that to some of the black media outlets that you say that don't know what's going on?

00:26:43.000 Because you're not helping the situation either.

00:26:45.000 You're hurting the situation.

00:26:46.000 You're saying that if you know that the number one thing that cripples people in this country is health, and then you don't make it where they can have quality, free health care in this country, then you don't feel like the consumer...

00:27:07.000 The human being is the most important commodity on this planet.

00:27:15.000 If you invest in the human being, and the human being does the good works that he's supposed to do with that investment, and they invest in more human beings, you create this utopia of I'm

00:27:50.000 not supposed to do.

00:27:52.000 Yeah, and helping people feels good.

00:27:54.000 It's good for you, too.

00:27:56.000 That's one thing we have to get into people's heads.

00:27:58.000 Helping people feels good.

00:28:00.000 It's good for you, too.

00:28:02.000 It's like people are selfish.

00:28:03.000 They don't want to help themselves.

00:28:04.000 They feel like if I'm helping someone else, it's taken away from me.

00:28:07.000 But that's not the case.

00:28:09.000 Where does that mindset come from?

00:28:11.000 They just need a better...

00:28:13.000 Well, it's a famine mindset.

00:28:16.000 The famine mindset is there's not enough to go around.

00:28:18.000 But there's enough to go around.

00:28:19.000 There's enough for everybody.

00:28:21.000 This is one thing that I always try to instill in comedians.

00:28:25.000 Because comedians are like notoriously selfish.

00:28:27.000 They think about themselves.

00:28:28.000 They want to get ahead. 0.85

00:28:29.000 Narcissists.

00:28:29.000 I want to get ahead.

00:28:30.000 I want to get ahead.

00:28:31.000 Why is he doing that?

00:28:32.000 Why am I not doing that?

00:28:33.000 I want to get it.

00:28:34.000 If you can help the people around you, you develop a community.

00:28:37.000 When you develop a community, everybody wants everybody to do good.

00:28:41.000 In our community, if one of us is killing it, everybody's happy.

00:28:47.000 One of us has a special, and that special's killing it, like your special, which is out on YouTube right now.

00:28:51.000 When that happens, people get excited. 0.98

00:28:54.000 Like, goddamn, look at him. 0.99

00:28:55.000 Look at this guy. 1.00

00:28:56.000 Look at her.

00:28:57.000 Everybody's killing it.

00:28:58.000 That's good for everybody.

00:28:59.000 And it gives the people coming up hope.

00:29:01.000 Like, I'm entering into a community.

00:29:02.000 If I work hard, and if I continue to, like, honor the craft of stand-up comedy, I'm a part of this very small and tight-knit community of people.

00:29:11.000 There's not that many of us.

00:29:13.000 And if we do that and we help each other, it's good for everybody.

00:29:18.000 I think that's why Rodney Dangerfield was one of the ones for me.

00:29:23.000 When people say, who are your influences?

00:29:26.000 I'm influenced by more than just what you did on stage.

00:29:32.000 You know, it's...

00:29:35.000 How your character or how you were as a person.

00:29:39.000 Yes.

00:29:40.000 And when he was not selfish, like, hey man, I got a platform.

00:29:46.000 Everybody is welcome to this platform if you funny.

00:29:51.000 Let's do it.

00:29:51.000 Think about the people that he blew up.

00:29:53.000 Sam Kinison, Dice Clay, Bill Hicks, Dom Herrera, Lenny Clark, Roseanne Barr, Down the Line, Seinfeld.

00:30:01.000 Oh, man.

00:30:03.000 Dude.

00:30:04.000 So many people.

00:30:06.000 And why not want to be that in comedy?

00:30:12.000 Or why leave that to another entity?

00:30:16.000 Oh, I'm on the all-stars of this.

00:30:19.000 I'm on the actors of that.

00:30:22.000 Like, why leave it to other people and other crafts to heighten your craft?

00:30:27.000 Why leave it to other people from other cities to say...

00:30:29.000 My biggest thing is to get the recognition from my peers.

00:30:36.000 Like, when a comic calls me and says, man, you're special...

00:30:43.000 Classic.

00:30:44.000 Like, I'm putting it in this space.

00:30:47.000 This is because they know the craft.

00:30:49.000 You're not a spectator.

00:30:52.000 Because to spectators, everybody looks good to spectators.

00:31:00.000 But when the people who know the craft are looking like, nah, you don't know what you're looking at.

00:31:06.000 Like, you don't know how special this is.

00:31:08.000 Yeah.

00:31:09.000 Because the special is supposed to be a piece of the person.

00:31:15.000 And the people that call and say, hey man, this is timeless.

00:31:21.000 It's like, yo, you really put a piece of, like, man...

00:31:26.000 You did it.

00:31:28.000 It's insane.

00:31:29.000 Yeah, and that's what we work towards.

00:31:31.000 You think about that when you're putting your bits together, you're editing them.

00:31:34.000 When you're going over them, you go, maybe that's a little too long, or maybe I need a little something there.

00:31:38.000 Maybe I need to trim that up, or maybe I need to explain that a little bit better.

00:31:42.000 You want that thing to, when it gets released, you get those phone calls like, dude, that thing was awesome.

00:31:49.000 That thing was awesome.

00:31:50.000 And then you get, thank you, thank you, man.

00:31:52.000 Appreciate it, appreciate it.

00:31:54.000 And then you want to do that to other people too.

00:31:55.000 You want to be able to call them up and go, dude, you're special.

00:31:58.000 It was amazing.

00:31:59.000 I remember watching Dan Soba's Son of Gary. 0.99

00:32:08.000 And I'm sitting there in fucking amazement. 1.00

00:32:12.000 I'm like, this shit is good. 1.00

00:32:14.000 I'm like, yo, this shit is fucking good. 1.00

00:32:17.000 I'm a caller. 1.00

00:32:18.000 Yeah, feels good.

00:32:19.000 I'm sitting there like, It feels good to call somebody and tell them that too. 0.96

00:32:25.000 And I'm like, God damn it, Dan, so are you. 0.99

00:32:30.000 You are fucking amazing. 1.00

00:32:33.000 And that's the thing. 0.99

00:32:38.000 I watched earthquakes and I felt good for Quake.

00:32:43.000 And that's the thing that you want to do in this business.

00:32:49.000 I remember writing With Bill Bellamy on his special and when he's getting ready to go out and we talking and I'm like, my last words was like, yo man, just go and just do what you do.

00:33:07.000 And when it came together, I called him like, yo, I watched it live. 0.98

00:33:12.000 I was there through the whole process and this shit is still good. 0.98

00:33:18.000 DL with Clea, I was like, and you, and I think that comics don't understand. 0.97

00:33:23.000 I'm not chasing other comics in an aspect of the new guys.

00:33:32.000 I'm chasing the classics.

00:33:37.000 I'm chasing Carlin and Cosby and Pryor and Eddie.

00:33:42.000 I'm chasing them so what you're doing doesn't We're good to go.

00:33:53.000 Man, Sinbad, like the memorable things that I'm like, I want my special to be in that when people say, hey man, Live from Sunset Strip, Elephant in the Room, Domino Effect,

00:34:09.000 Ali Stik.

00:34:10.000 Like, I want to be mentioned amongst that.

00:34:13.000 And I tell people, I'm not playing the game for riches and all that.

00:34:18.000 I'm playing for that yellow jacket.

00:34:20.000 You know, a lot of people...

00:34:23.000 They satisfaction that you play football and you play through high school, you win a high school championship, great.

00:34:29.000 Then some people want to go to college, win a college championship, great.

00:34:33.000 Some people want to go to the NFL and get to the NFL. They want to go to the All-Star Games.

00:34:40.000 And that's fine.

00:34:41.000 Some people want to win a Super Bowl.

00:34:43.000 But some guys are playing the game.

00:34:47.000 To, at the end of that, receive a yellow jacket.

00:34:51.000 They're not cool with just being there.

00:34:53.000 Right.

00:34:54.000 They want the jacket.

00:34:55.000 They want greatness.

00:34:57.000 Yeah.

00:34:58.000 Yeah, aspire always to greatness. 0.85

00:35:00.000 Because even if you don't get there, you get pretty fucking excellent.

00:35:03.000 Because if you're trying to get pretty good, you'll get pretty good.

00:35:08.000 But if you're trying to achieve excellence, like real true excellence, where you can be proud of something, you know, Even if you don't get to where you wanted to go, you get a lot further than where you would go if you have low expectations.

00:35:23.000 This is the first piece of work that actually changed my mind on something.

00:35:30.000 How so?

00:35:32.000 People ask me, hey man, when it comes to storytelling, who is your top people?

00:35:36.000 Who are the best storytellers in comedy to you?

00:35:41.000 I used to say just like this.

00:35:43.000 I said it would be Cosby, Carlin, Joey Diaz, Eddie Murphy, me.

00:35:54.000 And I say me, Joey, and Eddie, all threes.

00:35:58.000 We third.

00:35:59.000 And then other people.

00:36:02.000 I looked, when I put the special together and I looked at it, And I looked at the craft of the ability to bring people into the story.

00:36:12.000 This is the first time somebody asked me after that. 0.99

00:36:15.000 I said, me, Cosby, then everybody else after that can sort that shit out. 0.98

00:36:26.000 But I can't deny myself no more and put myself behind somebody. 0.99

00:36:33.000 When it comes to a story, to like bringing you into a story.

00:36:37.000 It's a different kind of art.

00:36:39.000 Yeah, it's a different art. 0.91

00:36:40.000 And I've gotten pretty goddamn good.

00:36:43.000 That's the thing where Ari, when he put together that storyteller show, that was his idea. 0.53

00:36:48.000 He was like, these stories are too hard to develop when you're doing a 15-minute set on a stacked comedy store lineup. 0.98

00:36:55.000 You know, you got 10 fucking killers, you want to kill two, and if you're trying to develop a story, and it's a story about going to the park with your dad... 0.99

00:37:04.000 It's a long ass story. 1.00

00:37:05.000 People are like, where are you going with this?

00:37:07.000 But if you could do it on a show that's just people telling stories, then you could develop it and tighten it and then get to the point where it might be your closing bit.

00:37:17.000 Man, we already talked yesterday about this is not happening.

00:37:22.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:37:23.000 And he was like, out of all them stories, all the shows I've done, Mexican Got on Boots is still my favorite goddamn story. 0.96

00:37:38.000 He said, I didn't know you.

00:37:40.000 We was going to put you on the digital side of it.

00:37:43.000 And we was looking at the story. 0.99

00:37:46.000 We was like, God damn it. 0.98

00:37:49.000 It's like, and he was like, I didn't even know what you were talking about. 1.00

00:37:53.000 And I was hanging on every goddamn word. 1.00

00:37:56.000 And then it was like, oh shit, he's, this shit is crazy. 1.00

00:37:59.000 Like, I'm like, no, I appreciate it. 1.00

00:38:02.000 Then he said the next one was even more, like Mitchell, it's like, then I started like, he, his goddamn ability to tell his story. 0.98

00:38:12.000 He's seeing it through a different lens. 0.98

00:38:14.000 Like, whatever lens he's seeing it through, he's making me see it through that same lens. 0.97

00:38:18.000 And I have no goddamn idea what he's even talking about.

00:38:20.000 That's the beautiful thing about someone when they're really locked in on stage. 0.97

00:38:23.000 I've always said this.

00:38:24.000 I feel like I'm thinking through their mind.

00:38:26.000 Like, I'm allowing them to take over my mind.

00:38:28.000 Take me on a journey. 0.94

00:38:30.000 That's why when someone's shitty or hacky, or it's like, ah, why are you using my mind? 0.92

00:38:36.000 Why are you bothering? 0.89

00:38:37.000 Why are you borrowing my mind?

00:38:39.000 You know? 0.99

00:38:40.000 Like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. 0.97

00:38:41.000 I can't watch this. 0.99

00:38:42.000 I'm super sensitive to bad comedy.

00:38:44.000 What?

00:38:45.000 I can't watch it.

00:38:47.000 It's contagious.

00:38:48.000 It's like...

00:38:50.000 It's like if I see you, and I never thought this before until somebody said, hey man, this dude did a bad set and then he tried to shake my hand.

00:39:01.000 I didn't want him to touch me. 0.99

00:39:02.000 I didn't want the shit on me. 1.00

00:39:04.000 Don't put that shit on me. 1.00

00:39:05.000 It's contagious. 1.00

00:39:06.000 And I was like, oh, that's rude as shit. 1.00

00:39:08.000 And then somebody did a bad set and he walked up to me and I start walking the other way like, ah, don't fucking touch me. 1.00

00:39:15.000 Don't do that shit. 1.00

00:39:16.000 You gonna give me COVID? I don't want... 1.00

00:39:20.000 Wednesday night, Ron White had his friend.

00:39:22.000 He claims she's funny.

00:39:25.000 I'm sure she's a nice lady. 1.00

00:39:27.000 Anyway, she just didn't belong.

00:39:30.000 You can't follow Ron White when you're an amateur.

00:39:32.000 You just can't.

00:39:33.000 You can't.

00:39:34.000 You can't. 1.00

00:39:35.000 You gotta be a fucking touring, rock-solid, set-up punchline, bam, bam, bam, good premises. 1.00

00:39:41.000 You gotta be good to follow Ron fucking White. 1.00

00:39:44.000 She was not. 1.00

00:39:47.000 And not only did she eat dick, but then she came and hung out with us in the green room. 1.00

00:39:51.000 I'm like, fuck, I gotta go up next. 1.00

00:39:53.000 So Tony's on stage, killing, and the first five minutes, he's just roasting her. 1.00

00:39:57.000 And I'm back there, and she's making excuses and talking.

00:40:01.000 I'm like, oh my god, I gotta get out of this room.

00:40:03.000 He dragged her into the green room.

00:40:05.000 Now she's back there, just coughing bad comedy at us. 1.00

00:40:14.000 Like, oh no.

00:40:16.000 I'm like, oh no.

00:40:17.000 So I start playing music loud.

00:40:19.000 I'm moving around.

00:40:21.000 I'm shadow boxing.

00:40:22.000 I wanted to leave.

00:40:23.000 You wanted to leave too, right?

00:40:25.000 That's right.

00:40:25.000 Jamie was there.

00:40:27.000 I'm not exaggerating, right?

00:40:29.000 No, no.

00:40:29.000 And everybody felt it.

00:40:31.000 Even Ron felt it.

00:40:32.000 He's like, well, you know, it wasn't the best set.

00:40:34.000 Man, it's weird because me listening...

00:40:42.000 First, big up to Ron White.

00:40:45.000 Classy, very classy man.

00:40:46.000 He's the man.

00:40:48.000 Ron, just imagine getting this phone call.

00:40:51.000 I'm getting ready to do Orlando improv.

00:40:55.000 My agent, Joe Eschabon, who I love dearly.

00:40:59.000 Joe calls me and says, hey, just want to run this by you.

00:41:04.000 Someone wants to feature for you.

00:41:07.000 I'm like, no, I'm cool.

00:41:10.000 I got my feature, Marcus Wilde.

00:41:12.000 I'm cool.

00:41:13.000 He's like, just hear me out.

00:41:15.000 He's working on some new stuff.

00:41:17.000 He's coming back.

00:41:18.000 He just wants to be around a comic who is a good comic.

00:41:24.000 I'm like, Joe, who is this?

00:41:26.000 You're taking too long.

00:41:28.000 He's like, Ron White. 0.99

00:41:32.000 I was like, I'm not fucking with some guy that has stole Ron's white name. 0.98

00:41:37.000 Like, Ron White from Orlando? 1.00

00:41:39.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:41:39.000 He's like, no. 0.99

00:41:42.000 Ron White White.

00:41:46.000 And I was like, and I doubled down and I'm like, Ron White White? 1.00

00:41:51.000 Like, the fucking man Ron White? 0.99

00:41:55.000 He's like, yes. 1.00

00:41:57.000 I'm like, I can't even get my yes together. 0.99

00:42:00.000 I'm like, fucking yes? 0.99

00:42:01.000 Like, yeah, I get to fucking work with Ron White? 1.00

00:42:04.000 Hell yeah. 0.98

00:42:05.000 I said, he wants to, he wants to metal?

00:42:07.000 He's like, yeah, he's got like 20, 25 minutes.

00:42:10.000 I said, do he want a headline?

00:42:12.000 Like, I'll let him headline. 0.99

00:42:15.000 Just to fucking, like, relinquish my weekend to Ron White and just come feature us and do some host shit or whatever. 0.98

00:42:21.000 He's like, no, he says he just want to, yeah. 0.98

00:42:24.000 So I get there and I'm already anticipating he's a legend. 1.00

00:42:29.000 He's going to be in the green room doing the shit. 0.98

00:42:32.000 Everybody knows I like to be in my green room first and invite you in. 1.00

00:42:38.000 But I'm relinquishing all that shit because it's Ron White. 0.99

00:42:41.000 I get there. 1.00

00:42:42.000 Ron White is the fucking constant professional. 1.00

00:42:45.000 Not in the green room. 0.99

00:42:46.000 He comes to the green room.

00:42:47.000 He knocks on the door.

00:42:49.000 Hey, what's wrong?

00:42:51.000 And I'm sitting there all like...

00:42:59.000 He got his bus outside.

00:43:01.000 He's hanging in his bus.

00:43:02.000 Then he came up and started hanging in green with us. 0.99

00:43:04.000 And he's like, look, I'm going to go out here and do the raggedest 20 minutes that I just put together and trying to get this shit together. 0.93

00:43:11.000 Now, I'm going out and I'm going to watch. 1.00

00:43:13.000 This is fucking Ron White. 0.99

00:43:17.000 Stellar, 20 minutes. 1.00

00:43:19.000 Fucking killing. 1.00

00:43:21.000 I'm so caught up in what he... 1.00

00:43:24.000 They about to introduce me and I'm in the back to him. 0.99

00:43:27.000 Look, shit was amazing. 0.98

00:43:28.000 And we talking and he's like, I'll leave you. 0.99

00:43:31.000 You gotta go up. 1.00

00:43:32.000 I'm like, oh shit. 0.99

00:43:33.000 So I go up and he comes in the showroom and he's watching from the beginning. 0.99

00:43:42.000 And I'm doing my thing.

00:43:44.000 After the show, he comes in, he's like, look here, kid. 0.99

00:43:49.000 You are fucking incredible. 0.99

00:43:52.000 Like, I tried to give it to you. 1.00

00:43:54.000 I tried to rattle you, because his shit was so crisp. 0.99

00:43:59.000 Like, it was still a class. 1.00

00:44:01.000 Like, he's like, man.

00:44:03.000 So the rest of the weekend, we just chatting it up. 0.99

00:44:06.000 I'm like, I'm fucking kicking it with Ron White. 0.97

00:44:11.000 And then my mom's like, man, these places. 0.99

00:44:15.000 And every night he's just giving me a little more something about, you know, you can go a little deeper in that story, you know, because you had me.

00:44:22.000 You had me, kid.

00:44:23.000 And he noticed that I would start a story and stop and start doing another story.

00:44:31.000 And he said, you keep leaving me, kid.

00:44:33.000 Like, I'm still trying to figure out what happened with your uncle.

00:44:39.000 Like, I didn't go back? 0.99

00:44:39.000 You're like, no, you fucking didn't go back! 0.99

00:44:42.000 And I'm like, oh shit, I gotta start going back. 1.00

00:44:44.000 And I'm like... 0.99

00:44:46.000 If she knows him, why are you not picking up the jewels from him?

00:44:53.000 She can't.

00:44:54.000 You gotta watch.

00:44:55.000 When did you come Wednesday night?

00:44:59.000 What time did you get to the club?

00:45:00.000 Right when I walked in.

00:45:02.000 You missed the chaos.

00:45:04.000 It's impossible.

00:45:05.000 You can't fix it.

00:45:07.000 It's like me breathing underwater.

00:45:08.000 It's not gonna happen.

00:45:09.000 It's not gonna happen.

00:45:10.000 There's nothing to do.

00:45:11.000 You can't fix it.

00:45:12.000 I mean, maybe on another time, in another state of mind, with different material, maybe she could do well.

00:45:18.000 But in that moment, there was no fixing it.

00:45:21.000 There's no advice to be given.

00:45:23.000 She came up with a notebook.

00:45:25.000 Yeah, you came up with notes and panicked, didn't have the mic close to her mouth.

00:45:30.000 Everything was wrong.

00:45:32.000 And I don't think she knew she was gonna go up until like right before Ron went up.

00:45:37.000 Ron told her he's gonna bring her.

00:45:38.000 I'm gonna bring you up.

00:45:39.000 I'm gonna bring you up.

00:45:40.000 Because he came in the background.

00:45:42.000 This was the first problem.

00:45:43.000 He goes, she's a really good writer.

00:45:47.000 Don't say that.

00:45:48.000 This is what I want to hear. 0.99

00:45:49.000 She's fucking hilarious. 1.00

00:45:51.000 She's fucking hilarious. 1.00

00:45:52.000 Can she do a guest set? 0.99

00:45:53.000 Okay.

00:45:55.000 Friend of mine is a really good writer.

00:45:57.000 I'm like, ooh.

00:45:59.000 Okay.

00:46:00.000 What else?

00:46:01.000 How is she at delivering this writing?

00:46:03.000 Yeah, I don't think any of my friends have ever said that they Bryson Brown is from Austin. 0.99

00:46:12.000 He's fucking hysterical. 0.96

00:46:13.000 That's how I introduce him. 0.99

00:46:15.000 Like, yo, this is Bryson Brown. 0.99

00:46:16.000 He's fucking hysterical. 0.94

00:46:17.000 Yeah, you want an overall assessment of their ability on stage. 0.99

00:46:21.000 Not like a little tiny area that they're good at.

00:46:26.000 It's an important area, being a good writer.

00:46:28.000 Very important.

00:46:29.000 But without delivery and timing and presence and everything, it's...

00:46:33.000 Are you good?

00:46:34.000 Hey, um...

00:46:36.000 She's a good setup.

00:46:37.000 She set up jokes. 0.89

00:46:38.000 Excellent.

00:46:39.000 She set up Tony.

00:46:40.000 Tony destroyed that lady. 1.00

00:46:42.000 That ruthless little motherfucker. 1.00

00:46:44.000 There is no one alive that you want to bomb in front of when you're going to bring up Tony. 1.00

00:46:50.000 Because he roasted her. 0.98

00:46:52.000 I mean, he had seven or eight solid minutes just killing her when he went on stage. 0.88

00:47:00.000 Yeah.

00:47:00.000 It was amazing.

00:47:01.000 That's what you do.

00:47:02.000 You have to.

00:47:03.000 You have to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

00:47:06.000 And I hate...

00:47:07.000 I used to hate doing it.

00:47:08.000 I used to hate doing it, period.

00:47:13.000 But Bill Bellamy, he's a nice guy, but he has a mean streak in him that is outstanding.

00:47:21.000 On the tour with him, I used to host this tour, and somebody would ask for a guest spot, and he would come in and be like, I'll eat 777. I'm like, oh shit, who just asked for a goddamn guest spot? 0.99

00:47:32.000 So now... 1.00

00:47:35.000 People don't know what we about to do to you. 0.97

00:47:37.000 Like, I'm going to come out, and usually I would do 15, I'd just skate into it, but I'm coming out with seven minutes of straight fucking home runs. 0.99

00:47:47.000 Bow, bow! 1.00

00:47:52.000 I'm stacking this shit on these people. 1.00

00:47:55.000 People still laughing at the first joke. 0.99

00:47:57.000 I'm on joke number five. 0.97

00:47:59.000 I'm fucking stacking it on. 0.90

00:48:01.000 And when I leave them, people are going to be still laughing when I bring you up. 0.99

00:48:06.000 They're not even going to think about shit you're saying because they're still laughing from joke number three. 0.90

00:48:11.000 And I'm going to bring you up. 1.00

00:48:14.000 And I'ma sit you right in that fucking pressure cooker. 1.00

00:48:20.000 And you're gonna, I don't give a damn, you're gonna die if you can't fucking surf. 1.00

00:48:27.000 Because I put a hundred foot wave on your ass. 1.00

00:48:29.000 Yes. 1.00

00:48:31.000 Then you die. 0.99

00:48:32.000 And then I go up and I put another seven minutes of your dying on top of it.

00:48:39.000 And Bill's like, I hate when people ask us for guest spots. 1.00

00:48:42.000 I'm like, ah, you fucking evil man! 1.00

00:48:46.000 You sent the fucking junkyard dog to destroy somebody. 1.00

00:48:50.000 I'm like, eh. 1.00

00:48:51.000 But for that person that did that set and bombed, if they can figure out how to follow you when you're crushing, if they can figure out how to ride that wave, that is so important. 0.97

00:49:02.000 That lady, Mitzi Shore, that's what she did every fucking time. 1.00

00:49:07.000 If you were a good comic because she thought you had some potential and you were young, she would throw you on after a killer. 0.99

00:49:13.000 Who's on?

00:49:13.000 Who's on the lineup?

00:49:14.000 For me, it was Martin Lawrence.

00:49:16.000 In the 90s, dude, you never saw anybody eat it.

00:49:19.000 Like seeing me going on after Martin Lawrence when he was in the leather jumpsuit days.

00:49:24.000 People don't remember.

00:49:25.000 They don't remember.

00:49:27.000 95 Martin Lawrence?

00:49:29.000 1995?

00:49:30.000 My God!

00:49:31.000 My God!

00:49:32.000 His timing, his facial expressions, the power!

00:49:36.000 Chris Rock, to this day, talks about a time where he bombed going after Martin Lawrence and it changed his career.

00:49:41.000 Because he had been doing too many easy shows.

00:49:44.000 He'd been doing too many of those New York City, like, cellar spots.

00:49:48.000 Like, everybody's so happy to see you.

00:49:51.000 You can kind of be casual.

00:49:52.000 And he's headlining.

00:49:54.000 And Martin Lawrence is throwing lightning bolts.

00:49:57.000 Just.

00:49:58.000 The whole room was just.

00:50:00.000 He was so good.

00:50:02.000 He was so dynamic.

00:50:04.000 He would pace the stage.

00:50:05.000 He had so much energy when he would hit his punchlines and hold his facial expressions.

00:50:10.000 You'd be like, God, I can't even watch this.

00:50:13.000 I'm going to my death.

00:50:14.000 I'm going to my death.

00:50:16.000 I went to my death.

00:50:17.000 I followed Martin Lawrence dozens of times.

00:50:19.000 Dozens.

00:50:20.000 Let me tell you what I love about an honest comic. 0.99

00:50:30.000 You know how many comics wouldn't say that they went behind somebody that was just fucking an absolute monster? 1.00

00:50:40.000 Like, yo, man, this shit is a problem. 1.00

00:50:43.000 Like, how am I gonna match this shit? 1.00

00:50:46.000 Like, I can imagine going up after Martin. 1.00

00:50:50.000 Martin's still hungry. 0.99

00:50:52.000 He out there fucking getting it. 0.99

00:50:54.000 He was in his 30s. 1.00

00:50:56.000 It's Martin Lawrence in his 30s with a leather jumpsuit on. 1.00

00:50:59.000 You're fucked. 1.00

00:51:01.000 You're fucked. 1.00

00:51:02.000 People don't remember, man. 1.00

00:51:04.000 If you go back to You So Crazy, goddamn he was good. 0.96

00:51:07.000 In my mind, he's like, you know, when you talk about the greats, because, you know, he went and did the TV show and didn't tour as much and didn't put out as much comedy material. 0.97

00:51:16.000 So a lot of people that weren't around in the 90s forget how good he was.

00:51:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:51:20.000 Dude, I eat dick going after that guy. 0.99

00:51:22.000 But it taught me. 1.00

00:51:24.000 It taught me how to ride the wave.

00:51:26.000 It taught me how to start strong. 0.99

00:51:28.000 It taught me how to cut all the bullshit out. 0.99

00:51:31.000 And to look at your act, scrutinize it. 1.00

00:51:34.000 Look at it with a microscope. 1.00

00:51:36.000 Get rid of some of that shit that's not that good. 0.99

00:51:38.000 Fix the setup. 0.99

00:51:40.000 You better do it right. 1.00

00:51:41.000 You better sound like a fucking professional. 0.99

00:51:43.000 You're going on after one of the best comedians walking the face of the planet. 0.99

00:51:47.000 And back then, he might have been number one.

00:51:49.000 He might have been number one in 95. He might have been number one.

00:51:52.000 He was murdering.

00:51:54.000 I mean, I would be in the back room terrified just hearing the roars. 0.99

00:51:58.000 I remember times being places and you going up behind people that fucking assassins. 0.98

00:52:12.000 Tony Roberts, I don't know if you know Tony Roberts, but he is so quick. 1.00

00:52:20.000 It's just rapid fire shit. 0.99

00:52:23.000 And people used to be like, hey man, can't nobody follow Tony. 1.00

00:52:27.000 There's nobody in the planet can follow Tony.

00:52:29.000 And I remember being at a spot and people was like, yo, Tony's up right now, you going up next.

00:52:37.000 I'm like, cool.

00:52:40.000 I'd already been able to ride the wave.

00:52:44.000 I'm not going up to compete with Tony. 1.00

00:52:46.000 I'm going up to do my shit. 0.99

00:52:49.000 And I remember being offended during this show that a person thought that I couldn't follow Tony and they switched up the lineup. 1.00

00:52:57.000 And I was fucking pissed. 0.97

00:53:00.000 And I said, okay. 0.98

00:53:03.000 And I went out, and I got a standing ovation, and Tony Roberts was the person that said he was right there when the production person said.

00:53:12.000 So the first comic got a standing ovation. 0.98

00:53:15.000 What the fuck do we do now? 0.95

00:53:17.000 It was like, because you thought that I was... 1.00

00:53:20.000 Like, they had played me like I was some fucking... 0.99

00:53:23.000 Throw on the show. 0.99

00:53:25.000 And they was like, yo, Ali just gotta stand an ovation.

00:53:28.000 And DL opened the door of his green room and said, what did y'all think he was gonna do? 0.99

00:53:34.000 You fucking disrespected him. 0.98

00:53:38.000 Because he's like, yo, he don't... 1.00

00:53:40.000 It doesn't matter...

00:53:42.000 Where I go.

00:53:45.000 Because I know what I'm going to do when I get there.

00:53:48.000 And I learned very early on because I was going up behind people.

00:53:53.000 Benji Brown at the Coconut Grove Improv, he had my folks laughing so hard that a dude came in the green room and sat down and was laughing.

00:54:03.000 He was on his way from the bathroom. 0.99

00:54:04.000 He just busted the green room and he said, man, this motherfucker killing me. 1.00

00:54:08.000 And he said that was the green room? 1.00

00:54:10.000 And you could hear it.

00:54:14.000 You could hear it.

00:54:15.000 Because the green room was like right behind the stage.

00:54:19.000 And you could hear it. 0.99

00:54:21.000 Like Benji Brown is fucking destroying this room. 0.98

00:54:25.000 And he's doing this character, Kiki. 0.99

00:54:27.000 And he's like, yo. 0.99

00:54:29.000 And it's this loud-pitched ghetto girl, and he's fucking destroying this room. 1.00

00:54:35.000 And then he stops and says, let me bring up the next comic. 1.00

00:54:39.000 You're like, god damn! 0.99

00:54:40.000 There's people dead in here! 1.00

00:54:45.000 You gotta go out!

00:54:46.000 The Coconut Grove improv is where I saw Joey Diaz put people in their grave.

00:54:50.000 Because Joey Diaz would go up there and do half his punchlines in Spanish.

00:54:54.000 And you would have like a 40% Cuban audience.

00:54:57.000 And Joey Diaz would have la binga! 0.99

00:55:00.000 And he would hit some fucking Spanish punchlines. 0.99

00:55:02.000 And people would just throw their chairs up in the air. 0.99

00:55:04.000 They were falling down to the ground, knocking over tables.

00:55:07.000 It was chaos.

00:55:08.000 And then Joey was middling.

00:55:11.000 So Joey, this was back in the day when Joey was coming up, and they would have some road act who did HBO in 1984 and still has the same material, and they would have to go on after Joey.

00:55:25.000 I saw people quit.

00:55:26.000 Yes!

00:55:27.000 Quit. 1.00

00:55:28.000 That shit is... 1.00

00:55:30.000 Fantastic when you like, yo man, this shit is Damon Wayans. 1.00

00:55:35.000 Damon Wayans, I'm middle for Damon Wayans. 0.99

00:55:38.000 Because whatever his middle act was fucking up. 0.94

00:55:41.000 And he said it was too dark. 0.98

00:55:42.000 So they called me.

00:55:45.000 And at the end of the weekend, I never went in the green room.

00:55:51.000 He called me in the green room on Sunday.

00:55:53.000 Come in, I sat down.

00:55:55.000 I said, hey, how you doing this way?

00:55:56.000 He said, how... 1.00

00:55:58.000 How does it feel to be a fucking assassin? 1.00

00:56:04.000 I said, what? 1.00

00:56:05.000 He said, I used to do this to people. 0.99

00:56:08.000 I used to fucking go on stage and destroy people. 1.00

00:56:13.000 You're a fucking assassin. 1.00

00:56:14.000 Are you moving to LA? I'm like, no, I'm right. 1.00

00:56:17.000 He's like, fucking assassin. 1.00

00:56:20.000 That's a nice feeling. 1.00

00:56:22.000 Bobby Lee.

00:56:23.000 Bobby Lee.

00:56:26.000 I'm hosting a show.

00:56:27.000 Bobby Lee had a lady that was in the middle of that. 1.00

00:56:31.000 And after the first show, Bobby, we at the Houston Improv, Bobby called me in the room, in the green room and said, Hey, I'm not going to fire you.

00:56:38.000 I'm not going to fire you.

00:56:40.000 I just want you to be honest with me.

00:56:43.000 Are you a host?

00:56:46.000 I'm like, I'm the host?

00:56:48.000 He's like, are you? 0.99

00:56:49.000 You know what the fuck I'm saying. 1.00

00:56:51.000 Are you a host? 0.99

00:56:53.000 I'm like, nah. 0.99

00:56:55.000 He's like, I fucking knew it. 1.00

00:56:58.000 Improv always doing this shit to me. 1.00

00:57:00.000 Giving me the strongest motherfucker in the city. 1.00

00:57:02.000 He's doing 30 minutes. 0.99

00:57:04.000 I'm feeling the rest of the time. 0.99

00:57:06.000 He's like, I fucking knew it. 0.98

00:57:08.000 And Bobby was going out doing his clothes up first. 1.00

00:57:11.000 He was like, he's so fucking insane. 0.99

00:57:12.000 Wow. 0.99

00:57:14.000 He was like, you come to the stage, Bobby Lee, next thing Bobby Lee, pants are off.

00:57:19.000 Like... 0.86

00:57:22.000 Dick's out. 0.98

00:57:22.000 I'm starting with this. 0.98

00:57:25.000 Not fucking finna bury me behind the fucking host. 1.00

00:57:27.000 I'm not doing it. 1.00

00:57:29.000 Sometimes you have to do that. 1.00

00:57:31.000 You have to go out with your strongest shit first. 1.00

00:57:33.000 You can't dilly-dally when someone murders. 1.00

00:57:37.000 You better take them up to the same RPMs. 0.99

00:57:40.000 And the thing is, I want the young commies out there that's listening probably, don't think that you murdering a headliner with the local shit. 0.99

00:57:48.000 If it's local, you're not, I'm on Martin Luther King! 1.00

00:57:54.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:57:56.000 If you murder, you gotta murder with your shit. 1.00

00:58:00.000 Real shit. 1.00

00:58:01.000 It can't be the fluff. 1.00

00:58:03.000 You know, I lived in Boston, and there were some of the best comics alive back then. 0.99

00:58:07.000 But they all had local shit. 1.00

00:58:09.000 And when they would go on the road, like local shit in Boston would kill at 100%. 1.00

00:58:13.000 You go on the road, it was 30%. 0.99

00:58:15.000 It was like the same bits. 0.99

00:58:17.000 Nobody knew what the fuck you were talking about. 0.99

00:58:19.000 Nobody cared about that accent. 1.00

00:58:20.000 Nobody cared about those references to like the Red Sox. 0.99

00:58:23.000 Nobody gave a fuck. 0.99

00:58:24.000 And all those bits were useless. 0.99

00:58:26.000 And those guys just stayed.

00:58:27.000 Some of the best comics I've ever seen in my life.

00:58:30.000 They lived in Boston, they stayed in Boston, and they got trapped. 0.99

00:58:34.000 They got trapped by local shit. 0.99

00:58:36.000 They were local celebrities, and they got trapped doing local shit, and they never did the road. 1.00

00:58:42.000 I'm just saying, if you want to know how not to be locked into local shit, even if you're in a place where you started, Look at my special. 0.99

00:58:56.000 I shot my special in Houston. 0.99

00:58:59.000 You can't tell it's Houston.

00:59:01.000 I'm talking about things in Houston, but from a wide-eyed lens.

00:59:07.000 But it's not about Houston.

00:59:09.000 It's about life.

00:59:10.000 It's about life.

00:59:10.000 It's good.

00:59:11.000 It's very good.

00:59:13.000 And it's very intimate, which is what I like.

00:59:15.000 I like a special in a comedy club.

00:59:17.000 I really do.

00:59:17.000 I think there's something better about it.

00:59:19.000 If I'm watching at home, I'm in my living room, I want to watch it in an intimate environment.

00:59:23.000 I want to be in an intimate environment in the audience. 1.00

00:59:26.000 If I'm watching someone on stage and they're in a fuck, like Kevin Hart did his shit in like 50,000 people. 0.99

00:59:31.000 It's like, Jesus Christ, how do I even pretend I'm there? 0.99

00:59:35.000 But when I'm watching you, and I'm watching you on stage at a comedy club, there's a normal-sized stage, intimate with the audience, you're seeing the people in the front row, you're smiling, you're having fun, I'm there.

00:59:46.000 I'm there.

00:59:47.000 You locked in the moment.

00:59:48.000 Where'd you do it?

00:59:49.000 Houston Improv.

00:59:52.000 Can't tell because of the curtain in the background. 0.99

00:59:55.000 That's a great fucking room. 1.00

00:59:57.000 That's a great fucking room. 1.00

00:59:58.000 400 people and me. 1.00

01:00:00.000 That's nice.

01:00:01.000 And we just went on a...

01:00:03.000 And the crazy thing is when people know that they're coming to see you do the journey.

01:00:09.000 Yeah.

01:00:09.000 And it's weird because the people who came...

01:00:12.000 I did it during the weekend that I was there.

01:00:14.000 So the people who saw the show on Thursday and Friday is like... 1.00

01:00:18.000 That shit didn't happen! 0.99

01:00:21.000 So then the people who saw it on Saturday got the whole Hollywood... 1.00

01:00:27.000 Right.

01:00:28.000 Because, you know, Eric Abrams, the same person who shot my stuff for Comedy Central and This Is Not Happening with Ari, I got them.

01:00:39.000 I wanted that look. 0.98

01:00:40.000 And Eric is a fucking great director. 0.99

01:00:43.000 Like... 0.99

01:00:45.000 It's really not about him.

01:00:46.000 It's about what you want. 0.99

01:00:50.000 And he just suggests shit like, what do you think about this? 0.99

01:00:58.000 I wasn't thinking about it, but now that I am. 0.99

01:01:02.000 So he just suggests, do you really need that?

01:01:06.000 And he's like, I don't.

01:01:08.000 And it comes together.

01:01:11.000 Him and Jordan.

01:01:12.000 Jordan did the lights. 0.99

01:01:16.000 It looks like, that was one of the things, and especially when somebody notices it, when my guy called me and said, man, let me tell you the most amazing shit. 0.99

01:01:25.000 It looks like a classic. 0.97

01:01:27.000 It looks like 1985. Pull it up, Jamie.

01:01:33.000 Let me see the video.

01:01:34.000 Because there's something about, get a look at it.

01:01:38.000 Like, look it, man.

01:01:39.000 That's classic.

01:01:40.000 Classic Comedy Club.

01:01:43.000 It's perfect.

01:01:44.000 Perfect size stage.

01:01:46.000 Perfect intimacy with the crowd.

01:01:47.000 I was thinking that, man, because I just did stand-up live with Tony.

01:01:51.000 I did a guest set.

01:01:52.000 I was not even supposed to be there.

01:01:53.000 In Phoenix?

01:01:54.000 Phoenix, yeah. 0.96

01:01:54.000 I fucking love that club! 0.96

01:01:57.000 I fucking love that club. 1.00

01:01:58.000 And I was there, and I was thinking, God damn, maybe I should film my fucking special here. 0.99

01:02:02.000 It's so good. 0.99

01:02:03.000 It's some comedy clubs that I think that I've set up so perfect.

01:02:10.000 Mm-hmm.

01:02:12.000 Man, Stand Up Live in Phoenix.

01:02:16.000 Zaney's in Nashville.

01:02:19.000 Zaney's in Nashville is flawless.

01:02:22.000 Oh my god, that's a great club. 0.99

01:02:24.000 God damn, it's good. 0.99

01:02:26.000 Levity Live in West Nyack. 0.99

01:02:29.000 Yep.

01:02:32.000 That's a great one.

01:02:33.000 This is what we ought to do. 0.99

01:02:35.000 I always put myself in shit. 0.99

01:02:37.000 I just told Ari that we had to do a festival. 1.00

01:02:42.000 We travel to festivals around the world. 0.78

01:02:45.000 He's Jewish, I'm Muslim, like the Muslim-Jew festival review with me and Ari just going to weird-ass festivals. 0.67

01:02:54.000 We ought to see between me and you Take a month to go to all these clubs and see how many specials we can shoot in these clubs in a month. 0.99

01:03:12.000 You mean just film all the shows?

01:03:15.000 30 minutes.

01:03:16.000 We go to these clubs and shoot a new 30 minutes in each one of these clubs.

01:03:21.000 So you do 30, he does 30?

01:03:23.000 No.

01:03:24.000 Me and you.

01:03:24.000 This is me and you.

01:03:25.000 You do 30, I do 30 in each one of these great film clubs and put it out as a series of going to clubs, the best comedy clubs to shoot a special in.

01:03:40.000 Comedy Works in Denver is another one.

01:03:42.000 I've never played it.

01:03:43.000 What?

01:03:44.000 I've never played it. 0.97

01:03:45.000 It's like I'm boxed into some weird shit that's behind the scenes that I don't know what's going on. 0.61

01:03:50.000 What do you mean you tried to get in? 0.98

01:03:52.000 I'm waiting to get in.

01:03:53.000 I'll get you in.

01:03:54.000 I'll get you in today.

01:03:56.000 I'll call Wendy today.

01:03:58.000 I would love to pick that up.

01:04:00.000 Yeah, let's do that.

01:04:01.000 I'll fix that.

01:04:02.000 Yeah, you need to be there.

01:04:03.000 That's one of the great clubs of the world.

01:04:10.000 These are clubs that people don't talk about.

01:04:12.000 I hear about the cellar, and I'm not knocking the cellar, but you know another club that they remodeled?

01:04:20.000 He remodeled it, and I think I was the first person in there when he remodeled it. 0.72

01:04:24.000 It's weird looking, but it's so fucking intimate. 0.81

01:04:28.000 The Comedy Zone in Charlotte. 0.90

01:04:30.000 Never done it.

01:04:33.000 It's so intimate.

01:04:35.000 And they're around you. 0.99

01:04:37.000 Like, improv is a fucking great club. 0.99

01:04:38.000 Oh! 1.00

01:04:39.000 Another club.

01:04:41.000 DC Improv.

01:04:42.000 Oh, it's an amazing club.

01:04:44.000 Amazing club.

01:04:45.000 DC Improv's flawless.

01:04:47.000 Flawless.

01:04:49.000 It's no... 1.00

01:04:50.000 Man, it's fucking... 0.99

01:04:51.000 It's nice. 0.99

01:04:52.000 It's flawless.

01:04:53.000 It's perfect.

01:04:54.000 Perfect comedy club.

01:04:55.000 Yeah.

01:04:56.000 There's a few of those.

01:04:57.000 Perfect height ceiling.

01:04:58.000 Perfect size stage.

01:05:00.000 Connected to the crowd. 0.98

01:05:02.000 Rick Bronson's don't look bad to shoot them in.

01:05:06.000 It's a Rick Bronson's... 1.00

01:05:07.000 They don't look bad with that fucking... 1.00

01:05:10.000 That stand-up live is... 1.00

01:05:12.000 Stand Up Live in Phoenix is one of the great clubs.

01:05:15.000 And it's big.

01:05:16.000 600 seats.

01:05:17.000 It's big.

01:05:19.000 But the roar. 0.50

01:05:20.000 The roar when you're killing.

01:05:23.000 Okay, they moved the Hollywood Improv to, I think it's Dana Beach.

01:05:30.000 It's the Improv in Florida.

01:05:32.000 So they moved it out of the Hard Rock?

01:05:34.000 They moved it out of the Hard Rock.

01:05:35.000 It's Dana Beach now.

01:05:36.000 That's a nice-ass club. 0.51

01:05:38.000 I haven't been in a year.

01:05:39.000 Oh! 0.60

01:05:40.000 What you think about Cobb City?

01:05:44.000 Which one?

01:05:45.000 Cobb's Comedy Club.

01:05:47.000 The old Cobbs was amazing.

01:05:49.000 I used to take a pay cut to do the old Cobbs because I used to do...

01:05:53.000 I used to do the punchline, which was great.

01:05:57.000 The punchline's still great.

01:05:58.000 But Cobbs, the old Cobbs, was so intimate.

01:06:02.000 It was maybe 140, 150 people just stuffed into a room.

01:06:08.000 And it was just perfect.

01:06:10.000 It was so intimate.

01:06:12.000 And then the new Cobbs...

01:06:13.000 It's like this big high ceiling and then there's a balcony but it's way in the back.

01:06:19.000 And the balcony is way in the back and it's like elevated.

01:06:22.000 It's weird.

01:06:24.000 It's not bad.

01:06:25.000 It's a great place but it's not perfect.

01:06:29.000 Funny, some of these clubs I don't even think...

01:06:35.000 Maybe it's me, because I guess I don't have a permanent audience just yet, but some of these clubs, when you go in, it's not even the club.

01:06:43.000 The club is fucking fantastic, but the audiences that come there, you're like... 0.97

01:06:51.000 Hey, look, do I need to read all the shit that I read first and tell y'all about it so I can come do it so you can be familiar with some of the shit that's going on in the fucking world? 0.99

01:07:00.000 Like where? 0.99

01:07:01.000 Like what place?

01:07:05.000 Right off the bat, Toledo.

01:07:10.000 Toledo, Ohio. 1.00

01:07:12.000 It's like fucking pulling teeth. 1.00

01:07:18.000 It sounds like a place where you'd be pulling teeth. 1.00

01:07:21.000 Toledo. 1.00

01:07:22.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

01:07:24.000 It's a... 1.00

01:07:25.000 I'm gonna say sometimes Syracuse is fucking weird. 0.98

01:07:30.000 Upstate New York's weird, period. 0.99

01:07:31.000 Yeah, Syracuse, Albany. 0.99

01:07:33.000 You're like, God damn it, man. 0.99

01:07:36.000 Um... 1.00

01:07:38.000 Anything outside of Chicago, any of the clubs around, outside of Chicago, you're like, God damn, y'all don't read shit. 0.99

01:07:45.000 But that Levittown, is that what it is? 0.99

01:07:48.000 Levittown.

01:07:49.000 No, no, the improv, no, Shamsburg, that's what it is.

01:07:52.000 Shamsburg.

01:07:53.000 Yeah.

01:07:53.000 That's kind of Chicago.

01:07:55.000 It's uppity as shit. 1.00

01:07:56.000 It's the suburbs. 1.00

01:07:58.000 It's like, eh, I don't know what the fuck you're saying. 1.00

01:08:00.000 You fucking know, like, good. 1.00

01:08:02.000 Damn it. 1.00

01:08:03.000 Chicago, though. 1.00

01:08:04.000 Chicago's a great comedy city. 1.00

01:08:06.000 Fuck, that's a great city. 1.00

01:08:07.000 I miss Jokes and Notes. 1.00

01:08:08.000 That was a place that I played.

01:08:10.000 And I played the Zanies there once.

01:08:13.000 It was a great experience.

01:08:15.000 I like some of the old nostalgia clubs, too.

01:08:18.000 When I go there, you know that it's been here for a long-ass time.

01:08:22.000 Or a weird spot.

01:08:25.000 I go to the Punchline in Atlanta, where it's inside the Landmark Diner.

01:08:33.000 I hate the green room, but I like the fact that I walk through some crowded, chaired room, and it feels like they still smoking.

01:08:44.000 Yeah.

01:08:48.000 The old punchline was great.

01:08:50.000 Oh man, it was beautiful.

01:08:51.000 It was amazing.

01:08:52.000 That was amazing.

01:08:53.000 That was an amazing room.

01:08:55.000 And they got rid of it. 1.00

01:08:57.000 I'm like, fuck. 1.00

01:08:57.000 Well, I think they lost to Elyse or something like that. 1.00

01:09:00.000 It's just like being a comic and being a professional comic and being able to work these places and touring the road.

01:09:05.000 When I was a kid, man, that seemed to me to be like an impossibility. 0.84

01:09:10.000 To be a headliner and touring the road and being able to work these fucking amazing clubs like the Punchline, like Zany's. 0.90

01:09:18.000 It's like that was always the dream. 0.71

01:09:21.000 One of the things I love about those old places, too, like Zany's, is you get to look in the wall and you'll see old headshots.

01:09:28.000 Headshots from the early 80s.

01:09:30.000 Faded.

01:09:31.000 I think they...

01:09:32.000 This is a room that I like, that I'm very, very comfortable in.

01:09:38.000 What is it?

01:09:39.000 It is in North Carolina as well.

01:09:43.000 Charlie Goodnight.

01:09:44.000 Yes!

01:09:44.000 That's a great room.

01:09:46.000 I think they move in the building as well.

01:09:49.000 I think they did something different there.

01:09:50.000 I haven't been to the new place.

01:09:52.000 Man, I would go down and look at the old pictures and then go play.

01:10:00.000 It's a nostalgia to some of these rooms.

01:10:03.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:10:06.000 I like going there, but when you think about shooting, the room feels warm and you feel like I can do some other things to the room to make it a little warmer and just go in and fucking crush it. 0.81

01:10:19.000 They got good audiences in certain places. 0.94

01:10:22.000 Well, they have a long history of having...

01:10:24.000 Charlie Goodnight's been around a long time, so everybody's come through there.

01:10:27.000 So all the people that live in that area know that you go to Charlie Goodnight's on any Friday and Saturday night, you're going to get great comedy.

01:10:34.000 They only get great comedians there.

01:10:36.000 It's like, you've got to work there.

01:10:38.000 It's a classic club.

01:10:39.000 Yeah, it is.

01:10:40.000 There's also a next-door honky-tonk bar.

01:10:43.000 And that was my first experience with country-western music.

01:10:47.000 Not even live, but just in a place where people listen to it.

01:10:50.000 We went over there.

01:10:51.000 It was me and Duncan and I think Joey.

01:10:53.000 And we went next door.

01:10:55.000 And they're playing music that I've never heard before.

01:10:59.000 But everybody knows the words.

01:11:01.000 And they're all singing along.

01:11:02.000 Down by the river! 1.00

01:11:04.000 They're all singing along to these songs and fucking hooting and hollering. 0.99

01:11:07.000 This is like I stepped into another dimension. 0.99

01:11:09.000 What is this?

01:11:11.000 It is...

01:11:12.000 Man, it's weird that I can go into this same dimension.

01:11:17.000 Alan Jackson.

01:11:19.000 Like, I grew up, I didn't listen to country music, but I knew about country music because my granddad would watch westerns and, you know, you listen to Hank Aaron.

01:11:32.000 Not Hank Aaron.

01:11:34.000 Hank Williams.

01:11:35.000 Hank Williams.

01:11:37.000 And then this guy, Alan Jackson.

01:11:41.000 I'm just flipping through the stations one time and I heard, you know like when you go to another city you put on Scan and going through the radio station, trying to find a radio station. 0.99

01:11:52.000 And way downtown on the Chattahoochee, this is, and it called me, a whole bunch of lovin' in a oochie coochie and I had to find out who the fuck sung this song. 0.99

01:12:05.000 I was like, in it. 0.99

01:12:07.000 Here, look at him.

01:12:08.000 Look at him.

01:12:10.000 Look at that outfit. 1.00

01:12:12.000 When did that fucking song come out? 1.00

01:12:14.000 That must be like 1985 or something like that. 1.00

01:12:17.000 Look at the way he's dressed.

01:12:18.000 No, this is the 90s.

01:12:19.000 No.

01:12:20.000 Can't be.

01:12:21.000 Got to be.

01:12:22.000 Seems like it's from another time.

01:12:25.000 Ween down yonder on a Chattahoochee.

01:12:30.000 Way down yonder.

01:12:32.000 I just was stunned by the fact that there was a whole other world that I didn't know about, this country-western world.

01:12:38.000 And all these people were into it.

01:12:40.000 And then I would do local radio, and they'd want to talk to me about NASCAR. Did you see NASCAR? Did you see what Dale did?

01:12:46.000 And you're like, what are you talking about?

01:12:48.000 Everybody knew.

01:12:50.000 They knew about NASCAR the way most people know about the Super Bowl.

01:12:54.000 I've been to NASCAR. What was it like?

01:12:56.000 One time.

01:12:57.000 One time.

01:12:58.000 And Dana, this was the first time that she was the lead car.

01:13:03.000 So get there.

01:13:05.000 It's an amazing experience.

01:13:08.000 Like we went into the pit.

01:13:12.000 We went into the trailers.

01:13:15.000 Like they have enough stuff in a trailer to build another car.

01:13:20.000 Like, they tell you how many cars they carry with them just in case something happens.

01:13:26.000 And they have enough stuff in their trailer to rebuild a car.

01:13:31.000 And some of the pit crews are ex-football players that got in this just for competition.

01:13:38.000 Like, I didn't know they had pit crew competitions to see who can...

01:13:43.000 Change everything the fastest.

01:13:45.000 And a lot of these people are ex-football players that still need the competition and they getting it on.

01:13:52.000 And I never forget about how when the race started, all these cars take off and it's so loud.

01:14:02.000 And how I was rooting for the last car.

01:14:06.000 So all these cars were like, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom.

01:14:09.000 Then this one car comes, zoom.

01:14:11.000 Zoom!

01:14:11.000 I was like, go!

01:14:13.000 He lapped him. 1.00

01:14:16.000 He's fucking last, last. 0.99

01:14:18.000 But the incredible thing was Ray Lewis did the start. 0.99

01:14:27.000 Walt Frazier was there.

01:14:31.000 And all the attorneys, all the attorneys for NASCAR were young black women that graduated from law school, and they were all their attorneys.

01:14:41.000 Like, they did all the legal stuff.

01:14:44.000 But the audience is all white people.

01:14:49.000 Everywhere's food.

01:14:51.000 They're campers.

01:14:52.000 And some of the littlest shorts you ever want to see on a human being. 1.00

01:14:56.000 God damn. 1.00

01:14:58.000 All this shit was exciting to me. 1.00

01:14:59.000 I'm like, yo, why does she have on boots with these shorts? 1.00

01:15:04.000 You know what I want to go to that I haven't been to?

01:15:07.000 The Kentucky Derby.

01:15:10.000 I was in town one time when the Kentucky Derby was happening.

01:15:12.000 I heard it's wild.

01:15:14.000 Could not find...

01:15:15.000 I had to stay across the river.

01:15:20.000 Like, it was no hotels in town.

01:15:22.000 I was trying to stay at the Silbach and all that.

01:15:24.000 They're like, no.

01:15:25.000 And it was so ritzy.

01:15:26.000 Like, I didn't get a chance to go, but I would love to go.

01:15:31.000 I heard it's wild.

01:15:32.000 I had no interest until I read The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved by Hunter S. Thompson.

01:15:38.000 I read that and I was like, Jesus Christ. 0.98

01:15:41.000 And his depiction of all these rich, fucked up people gambling and betting on these horse races. 0.99

01:15:48.000 And what the scene is like. 0.99

01:15:50.000 That it's this wild social scene of these decadent, depraved people all getting together.

01:15:57.000 And I was like, oh my god, I gotta go.

01:16:01.000 I need to book a gig around it.

01:16:03.000 Our interest in the same thing comes from so far different places.

01:16:10.000 I hear all the rich people doing so much.

01:16:13.000 I want to see the chaos.

01:16:15.000 I want to go to the Kentucky Derby.

01:16:18.000 Because the first 15, when I read about the Kentucky Derby, how it started, the first 15 were all won by African American jockeys.

01:16:27.000 And how the purse came about and the history of it.

01:16:31.000 And that's why I want to go.

01:16:33.000 Really?

01:16:34.000 I want to see the chaos.

01:16:37.000 Well, I'm a giant Hunter S. Thompson fan, you know?

01:16:39.000 And so, like, when I read his writing about it, it just, like, brought me there. 0.97

01:16:43.000 Like, I was appreciating his appreciation of just the fucking scene. 0.97

01:16:50.000 Just the wild scene of it all. 0.99

01:16:52.000 And how crazy it was to him as a writer, as a journalist, going there to cover it. 0.94

01:16:56.000 And he's covering it on acid, and he's all fucked up, and they're drinking all day. 0.67

01:17:00.000 And, you know, Hunter's writing was always like that. 0.81

01:17:03.000 It was always this wild mixture of...

01:17:07.000 Pure exaggeration and fiction with fact and reality and like an assessment of the social dynamics, like a psychological examination of the people that were involved.

01:17:17.000 When did he write about it?

01:17:20.000 That was one of the first pieces that he did, I believe he did that before he did his big Sports Illustrated piece, which turned out to be Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

01:17:29.000 1970. Yeah, so that was...

01:17:32.000 And then Fear and Loathing was when?

01:17:37.000 I think Fear and Loathing was his breakout thing.

01:17:40.000 They hired him.

01:17:41.000 I feel like they hired him for Sports Illustrated to go and write about...

01:17:45.000 71 is when that was published.

01:17:47.000 Yeah.

01:17:47.000 So it was like the same time.

01:17:48.000 And when was the first Kentucky Derby ever ran?

01:17:52.000 Oh, God.

01:17:53.000 Let's take a guess.

01:17:54.000 Let's take a guess.

01:17:55.000 I'm going to say 1928. I'm going to say 1890. Yeah, I think it's like 100 and...

01:18:03.000 I've done 100 and plus.

01:18:05.000 1875. 1875. But when a thing becomes a thing, like a place where people go and they know they're going to go get fucked up, and they know they're going to gamble, and it becomes a thing.

01:18:14.000 They wear the big hats with feathers and shit, and the ladies wear all their jewels. 0.99

01:18:18.000 What is going on here? 1.00

01:18:19.000 Is this at the Kentucky Derby?

01:18:21.000 Yeah, they're just running.

01:18:21.000 He's running across porta-potties, and people are cheering him on.

01:18:25.000 Like, this kind of shit. 0.99

01:18:25.000 And they're throwing bottles at him. 0.99

01:18:27.000 Yeah.

01:18:27.000 Like, they...

01:18:29.000 There he goes.

01:18:30.000 He's down.

01:18:30.000 It's so far different from the original Kentucky Derby.

01:18:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:34.000 Did he fall in the shit? 1.00

01:18:35.000 Oh, it looks like it. 1.00

01:18:35.000 Oh, no. 1.00

01:18:36.000 Did he? 1.00

01:18:36.000 Is he covered in shit? 1.00

01:18:38.000 It could have been raining. 1.00

01:18:38.000 It could have been doing, like, mudsliding or something, too. 1.00

01:18:40.000 He's drinking?

01:18:41.000 Oh, God.

01:18:43.000 Jesus Christ.

01:18:44.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:18:46.000 He definitely fell in the shit. 1.00

01:18:48.000 Oh, that's so unnecessary. 1.00

01:18:51.000 That's so unnecessary.

01:18:52.000 I wonder if Hunter caused more people to act more crazy there, because his writing was so influential and so popular. 0.95

01:19:01.000 I wonder if he probably accentuated the experience for people that wanted to go to just get fucked up and just watch. 0.69

01:19:09.000 But it's like you have the aristocrats, the socialites, the people that go there and they wear their expensive suits and their big rings and they pull up in chauffeured cars and they get out. 0.96

01:19:19.000 And do a bunch of debauchery right after that. 0.99

01:19:23.000 Debauchery.

01:19:23.000 It's right after that.

01:19:26.000 I don't have no underwear. 0.99

01:19:30.000 I don't know all this shit, but I don't have on underwear. 0.99

01:19:32.000 Like, you think about these experiences that people have with these kind of places. 0.99

01:19:37.000 Like, if you're one of those people, you're like some oil baron, and you got crazy money, and every year you go to the Kentucky Derby.

01:19:43.000 I imagine you just get used to being around all those other kind of people, and then every year everyone kind of ramps it up a little bit, you know?

01:19:50.000 Oh, man.

01:19:51.000 Ramp up the chaos, ramp up the cocaine. 0.70

01:19:54.000 So is that how Mardi Gras started?

01:19:57.000 That's a good question.

01:19:58.000 How did Mardi Gras get started?

01:20:00.000 Mardi Gras, like, Carnaval is pretty intense.

01:20:04.000 I've never been to that.

01:20:06.000 Have you been in Rio?

01:20:07.000 Yes.

01:20:07.000 Really?

01:20:08.000 Yes.

01:20:08.000 That's wild.

01:20:09.000 Oh, man.

01:20:14.000 It's like you're famous for people.

01:20:17.000 It's like New Year's Eve on steroids.

01:20:19.000 I went to this club called Help Disco Tech, and you need it.

01:20:27.000 Help Disco Tech.

01:20:29.000 I went on Adam and Eve night where they give you a leaf.

01:20:34.000 You put your clothes up and they give you a leaf and you in the club just a leaf on.

01:20:40.000 That's it?

01:20:40.000 And this club holds like four or five thousand people.

01:20:45.000 All what leaves on.

01:20:46.000 And it's so crazy that they know that you cannot get to the bar.

01:20:52.000 They know that you can't get to the bar.

01:20:53.000 They have bartenders with coolers strapped to them where they end up on the floor in different places and they flip the cooler up and they make your drink right there because they know you're not going to be able to get to the bar.

01:21:08.000 It's insane in this spot.

01:21:11.000 It's a live band. 0.99

01:21:13.000 It's like 12-piece live band and it's fucking insane. 0.97

01:21:18.000 And if it's 5,000 people, it's 1,000 men and 4,000 women. 0.98

01:21:26.000 If it's 4,000 people, it's 3,000 women and 1,000 men. 0.76

01:21:31.000 And I know we went in, it was maybe about 12. I know I came out of there, it was 8.30 in the morning.

01:21:41.000 I know for facts it was 8.30 in the morning.

01:21:44.000 And it's right off the beach. 1.00

01:21:46.000 And it's like, this shit is insane. 1.00

01:21:48.000 And when you fall down there, it's like people that you didn't even see in there. 1.00

01:21:54.000 You're like, oh, she was in there?

01:21:55.000 I can't. 0.99

01:21:56.000 Damn, where was she at? 1.00

01:21:57.000 Because you and your element. 1.00

01:22:00.000 I never left.

01:22:02.000 Once I walked through upstairs, I never came back.

01:22:06.000 Like, I walked through downstairs.

01:22:07.000 I went upstairs.

01:22:07.000 I never came back downstairs until it was time to leave.

01:22:10.000 Like, I never came back downstairs.

01:22:12.000 Like, it wasn't happening. 0.99

01:22:13.000 I was having a great goddamn time. 0.99

01:22:15.000 Like, I walked out of my hotel, and it was maybe like 30,000 people on the street, on a side street, dancing. 0.99

01:22:25.000 And it was people on a bus, people on the street. 0.99

01:22:28.000 And I just walked into this shit, and I was like... 0.99

01:22:31.000 Like, I was just in... 1.00

01:22:33.000 Man...

01:22:35.000 Rio is insane.

01:22:36.000 They know how to party in Brazil. 0.99

01:22:38.000 They know how to party in Brazil.

01:22:40.000 And I went to the corner of Iowa.

01:22:43.000 I think people don't understand that this is neighborhood versus neighborhood.

01:22:49.000 The Samba team is representing a neighborhood.

01:22:52.000 So it's like, just put 12 football fields together.

01:22:59.000 Right?

01:23:00.000 Stack them up.

01:23:01.000 That's how they coming down the street.

01:23:03.000 And it's people on both sides that's cheering for their Samba team.

01:23:09.000 It's insanity, man.

01:23:11.000 I've never partied.

01:23:12.000 It had to be a million people.

01:23:16.000 Going in and coming out was so insane.

01:23:19.000 I partied in.

01:23:21.000 I partied out.

01:23:21.000 I partied to concessions.

01:23:23.000 I partied in the line, go to the bathroom. 0.99

01:23:27.000 Man, I may have had sex on the street. 0.95

01:23:31.000 I don't know what I was doing. 1.00

01:23:32.000 I was fucking insane over there. 0.98

01:23:36.000 I probably have a child over there. 0.99

01:23:37.000 I don't know.

01:23:39.000 I got married.

01:23:41.000 Look at it. 1.00

01:23:41.000 Yes, this shit! 1.00

01:23:42.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:23:43.000 Look at that lizard. 1.00

01:23:44.000 I'm over there.

01:23:45.000 I'm over there on the side.

01:23:47.000 Look at the lizard and the mushrooms.

01:23:49.000 Oh my God, that's incredible.

01:23:50.000 The size of that thing.

01:23:52.000 This is a neighborhood.

01:23:53.000 So when you win, your neighborhood gets money.

01:23:58.000 Everybody that's from this is from the same neighborhood. 1.00

01:24:02.000 Look at the fucking jellyfish. 1.00

01:24:04.000 That's insane. 1.00

01:24:05.000 This shit. 1.00

01:24:06.000 People gotta see this shit live. 1.00

01:24:08.000 This shit is insanity. 1.00

01:24:10.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:24:11.000 And it's not one altercation. 1.00

01:24:14.000 That's amazing because Brazil's a wild ass fucking place. 1.00

01:24:17.000 Yeah, and I... But they put it all aside for Carnival? 1.00

01:24:20.000 Yeah, man.

01:24:20.000 Look at this.

01:24:22.000 Oh my god, these floats are incredible.

01:24:24.000 These people on top of them.

01:24:25.000 Look at the size of these things.

01:24:26.000 And this is an honored position to be a part of this summer team.

01:24:29.000 Look at the size of that.

01:24:32.000 It's been good and it's been good.

01:24:41.000 Wow! 1.00

01:24:41.000 And they represent the neighborhood, and this shit is bananas. 1.00

01:24:45.000 Wow. 1.00

01:24:47.000 It's bananas.

01:24:48.000 I've been to Brazil a few times for fights.

01:24:51.000 They are some of the wildest, rowdiest crowds.

01:24:55.000 Look at that, man. 1.00

01:24:57.000 This fucking dragon? 1.00

01:24:59.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:24:59.000 Look at the size of that thing. 1.00

01:25:02.000 How long does it take to construct these things?

01:25:04.000 Man, this is a big thing.

01:25:07.000 Right after this, they start for the next year.

01:25:10.000 Wow.

01:25:12.000 This is a big thing.

01:25:14.000 They're representing. 1.00

01:25:15.000 Man, this shit is incredible. 1.00

01:25:17.000 It's incredible. 1.00

01:25:18.000 Look at this.

01:25:19.000 And this is all themed.

01:25:21.000 This is all themed. 1.00

01:25:22.000 Holy shit. 0.99

01:25:24.000 I know America think they do live-ass parties, but this is... 1.00

01:25:31.000 This is like 12 Super Bowls happening at the same time.

01:25:34.000 Who is that supposed to be?

01:25:36.000 Is that Bolsonaro?

01:25:38.000 It could be like Gulliver's Travels.

01:25:40.000 Right, because those people were climbing. 0.99

01:25:42.000 That is fucking insane. 0.98

01:25:44.000 Look at the size of that thing. 0.99

01:25:46.000 And they lift and he was laying down at first.

01:25:48.000 Look at this.

01:25:48.000 This is what I'm saying.

01:25:50.000 Oh my god.

01:25:52.000 Oh my god.

01:25:55.000 That's incredible.

01:25:56.000 I did a movie, Live From Rio, and we was at this.

01:26:00.000 You did a movie there?

01:26:01.000 Yeah, Live From Rio with my boy Ben Williams.

01:26:04.000 What was it?

01:26:06.000 It was called Live From Rio.

01:26:08.000 It was ten black guys traveling.

01:26:10.000 We were supposed to just start, we were supposed to go here, then we were supposed to go to Tokyo.

01:26:15.000 Was it like a documentary movie?

01:26:17.000 Nah, we was just traveling and hanging out, just ten men out and about.

01:26:22.000 And so he just filmed it?

01:26:23.000 Yeah.

01:26:24.000 Is that out?

01:26:25.000 Can someone see that?

01:26:26.000 Live from Rio.

01:26:27.000 On the cover is me and this guy named G. G got killed by a tenant.

01:26:35.000 In his building?

01:26:38.000 Yeah, his house.

01:26:39.000 He was renting his house out and a tenant killed him.

01:26:44.000 Weird.

01:26:46.000 But I still have some of the DVDs that we did from that.

01:26:51.000 And Who Kid did the soundtrack for it.

01:26:55.000 He DJed the soundtrack for it.

01:26:56.000 After that, Snoop and Pharrell went to Brazil and shot a video.

01:27:03.000 Brazil was bananas.

01:27:06.000 I think Brazil was Amsterdam was a wild time for me.

01:27:14.000 I had a good time in Amsterdam.

01:27:16.000 But Brazil, by far. 1.00

01:27:19.000 Just the history of Brazil when it comes to wild shit. 0.99

01:27:23.000 I mean, that's the birthplace of the UFC. They figured that shit out a long time ago. 1.00

01:27:29.000 They were doing no-rules fights in the 1940s. 0.99

01:27:33.000 Elio Gracie was fighting people from Japan in the 1940s.

01:27:37.000 They would have these big fights.

01:27:38.000 They'd come over.

01:27:40.000 Speaking of fights, June 12th, me and a comic named Steve Brown are supposed to do something.

01:27:50.000 He said he's going to do something.

01:27:51.000 I don't know.

01:27:52.000 What do you mean?

01:27:53.000 Like a boxing match?

01:27:54.000 Really?

01:27:55.000 He saw me on Instagram and was like, I think I can take it.

01:28:00.000 He told somebody else and then they told me.

01:28:02.000 How much does he weigh?

01:28:04.000 He say 194. So he weighs 215. I said it off the top.

01:28:11.000 I'm like, yo, he's 205, 210. I already know it because he don't know how much he goddamn weigh. 0.99

01:28:19.000 Is this him? 0.98

01:28:20.000 That's my boy James.

01:28:21.000 That's my trainer, James.

01:28:23.000 And Steve Brown put it on there that he wanted to do something.

01:28:27.000 I'm like, well, I come in town.

01:28:28.000 And then people...

01:28:29.000 There you go, Steve Brown.

01:28:31.000 Well, people can't do this to me.

01:28:33.000 You can't say, you want to box me, you know my schedule.

01:28:37.000 I'm not going to be in town until the...

01:28:39.000 I'm in town on the 10th and 11th.

01:28:40.000 Well, you know I'm out of town.

01:28:41.000 I said, well, stay around.

01:28:43.000 Stay around.

01:28:44.000 And then we'll get it in. 0.99

01:28:47.000 And James, as soon as James heard it, James was like, shit. 0.99

01:28:50.000 Do you want this guy to lose any weight? 0.99

01:28:51.000 What do you weigh?

01:28:52.000 Like 170?

01:28:53.000 No, I'm 160. 160. Yeah, I'm going to go down.

01:28:58.000 By the time we fight, I go down 10 pounds.

01:29:01.000 And he is going to what?

01:29:03.000 Probably weight coming in at 310 pounds.

01:29:06.000 And that's going to be the worst day of his life.

01:29:09.000 He's going to be exhausted.

01:29:12.000 I can move around on him for at least the first round and then start punishing him.

01:29:18.000 How many rounds are you going to do?

01:29:19.000 He said three.

01:29:21.000 Make it five.

01:29:23.000 Let's go a little deeper.

01:29:25.000 That's me.

01:29:26.000 I'm like, whatever, man.

01:29:27.000 I think people don't understand about boxing.

01:29:32.000 When you're fighting, Your mental condition has to be...

01:29:37.000 Physical condition definitely has to be in order, but your mental condition.

01:29:40.000 Because this is not the punching bag.

01:29:43.000 This is not the gloves.

01:29:44.000 Right.

01:29:45.000 And are you conditioned for a fight?

01:29:48.000 Like, sparring.

01:29:50.000 When you spar, the next day... 1.00

01:29:54.000 Some shit is wrong. 0.99

01:29:56.000 Like, why my neck don't move? 1.00

01:30:00.000 Yeah, because you fucking got hit. 1.00

01:30:01.000 Somebody pushed your fucking neck to the side that you didn't realize. 1.00

01:30:04.000 Like, all this shit is bad. 1.00

01:30:06.000 But body shots. 1.00

01:30:08.000 Body shots hurt.

01:30:10.000 Like, hurt a lot.

01:30:11.000 Oh, yeah.

01:30:12.000 And if you're not conditioned for that type of punishment, because you're going to get hit no matter how Big and how good you think you are.

01:30:23.000 You're going to get hit.

01:30:26.000 And I'm not going to take no steam off of a punch for you. 0.77

01:30:30.000 I say, well, we're doing headgear, no headgear.

01:30:34.000 Even the headgear is a problem.

01:30:35.000 Headgear is not good.

01:30:36.000 I'd rather have no headgear.

01:30:37.000 I'd rather have no headgear.

01:30:38.000 Can't see that good. 1.00

01:30:40.000 Especially when somebody keeps turning your goddamn headgear. 0.99

01:30:43.000 And there's a real argument that it causes more of a rotation of the head because it puts a bigger fulcrum. 0.99

01:30:49.000 Like you have more weight on the head and there's more mass.

01:30:52.000 So if somebody clips you and your head's spinning more and your brains rattle around inside your head more. 0.99

01:30:58.000 Because you don't get your head get turned and now you can't see and there's gonna be some more shit coming behind. 0.97

01:31:08.000 Is this something you want to do a lot of? 0.99

01:31:10.000 Or is this just someone talk shit and you're ready to do it? 0.99

01:31:14.000 My ultimate thing was I wanted Cat. 0.99

01:31:17.000 Cat said he started boxing.

01:31:19.000 Oh, I know.

01:31:20.000 We talked about that last time.

01:31:21.000 Has he responded? 0.99

01:31:22.000 He's not going to respond because he knows the type of fucking punishment that it's going through. 0.99

01:31:29.000 I'm not going to lose. 1.00

01:31:31.000 I'm going to beat.

01:31:32.000 I want to beat you, but I think I'm easing up on him because people, Holly, you need to let some things go.

01:31:41.000 And I'm like, yo, watch the special.

01:31:43.000 It's hard for me to let things go.

01:31:47.000 It's very hard for you to let things go.

01:31:49.000 But it's...

01:31:50.000 I don't mind the physical combat of fighting.

01:31:56.000 I think it's a stress reliever.

01:31:57.000 I think when you get a chance to go with somebody that wants to go, that's the thing.

01:32:03.000 You gotta be with somebody who wanna box and who wanna fight.

01:32:07.000 Like with me and James.

01:32:08.000 James is a professional fighter.

01:32:10.000 And When he wanna go, you know, let's go.

01:32:16.000 And I know this is gonna be a hard day. 0.99

01:32:21.000 No matter how the shit starts, Me and you can start. 1.00

01:32:26.000 And once you get hit, the shit changes. 1.00

01:32:29.000 Like, yo, I know I'll leave my friend, but I'm gonna fuck him up! 1.00

01:32:32.000 Now it becomes a fight. 0.99

01:32:33.000 I gotta get my lick back. 1.00

01:32:34.000 I gotta get that shit back. 0.99

01:32:36.000 So it gets chippy. 1.00

01:32:38.000 It's hard to find sparring partners where you can just spar.

01:32:41.000 Where you can just get hit like that.

01:32:44.000 Get hit like that.

01:32:45.000 Where you're not getting lit up.

01:32:46.000 Where you're not in a fight.

01:32:48.000 It's just sparring.

01:32:50.000 Some guys, if they're cool with you and you're cool with them, you could just spar.

01:32:53.000 And you touch them.

01:32:54.000 You touch each other.

01:32:55.000 And you can do that a lot.

01:32:57.000 And it's very beneficial.

01:32:58.000 Because you get your timing in.

01:32:59.000 And you get real rounds in.

01:33:01.000 It's not fighting.

01:33:02.000 But it's tightening you up for fighting.

01:33:05.000 So you'll have these reflexive movements.

01:33:07.000 Like you'll see a check hook.

01:33:09.000 And it's just there.

01:33:11.000 It just comes out.

01:33:12.000 Because you've done it so many times.

01:33:13.000 Yeah.

01:33:13.000 Like my man Todd Emanuel just fought Victor Ortiz.

01:33:18.000 Really?

01:33:18.000 Victor Ortiz is still fighting?

01:33:20.000 Yeah.

01:33:21.000 What is he doing now?

01:33:22.000 Him and Todd Emanuel, I think it's on YouTube, too.

01:33:25.000 That fight with Floyd Mayweather was one of the weirdest fights ever.

01:33:28.000 He headbutted him.

01:33:30.000 He headbutted him, and then he tried to apologize.

01:33:33.000 And Floyd said, yeah, yeah, yeah, boom!

01:33:35.000 Dropped him with a left hook.

01:33:36.000 He was like, oh, no!

01:33:39.000 And then stopped him.

01:33:40.000 See if you can pull that up.

01:33:42.000 It is one of the craziest fights ever.

01:33:45.000 He fights out of the same gym.

01:33:47.000 Main Street fighting gym.

01:33:49.000 So this just happened.

01:33:51.000 Regis Provost.

01:33:52.000 He's a fight out of the same gym.

01:33:53.000 Oh, this is on the Lemieux undercard.

01:33:56.000 Was it Benavidez?

01:33:57.000 Who fought Lemieux?

01:33:59.000 Yeah, Benavidez. 0.94

01:34:00.000 Fucked up Lemieux.

01:34:03.000 How'd he do? 0.98

01:34:06.000 Against Victor Ortiz.

01:34:10.000 Big side.

01:34:11.000 It was a good fight.

01:34:13.000 Did he lose?

01:34:14.000 He lost.

01:34:15.000 I think it went to the scorecard.

01:34:17.000 Victor Ortiz was a world-class fighter at one point in time.

01:34:21.000 I think Todd, you know, when you're watching the fight, he'll hit me and give me some tips upon something.

01:34:28.000 I think Todd, I'd be like, yo, he was doing something. 1.00

01:34:32.000 You know, when you're watching the fight, you're like, why the fuck? 1.00

01:34:34.000 Because you're sitting there like, why the fuck you keep doing that? 0.99

01:34:36.000 When they would break, Victor would just start, like as soon as they break, as soon as they go back in, he start throwing punches. 1.00

01:34:45.000 And Todd, he covering up. 0.99

01:34:47.000 And I'm like, fucking, don't do that. 0.99

01:34:51.000 And every time he didn't do that, like he didn't cover up, as soon as Victor came in, bop, he hit him with one. 1.00

01:34:57.000 I'm like, keep doing that shit. 0.99

01:34:59.000 And I think that sometimes, because it's a mental game, it's like, It's also you're looking for breaks. 1.00

01:35:03.000 Guys are looking to take a little break.

01:35:05.000 Let's cover up here.

01:35:06.000 So here it is.

01:35:07.000 So this is when Victor Ortiz was in his prime. 0.99

01:35:10.000 And, you know, it was a good fucking fight. 0.98

01:35:12.000 I mean, he had tagged Floyd. 0.99

01:35:14.000 And look at that.

01:35:15.000 There's the headbutt.

01:35:18.000 And then look at this.

01:35:19.000 I'm sorry.

01:35:20.000 And then he hugs him.

01:35:21.000 He kisses him.

01:35:22.000 Didn't see the kiss.

01:35:24.000 Then...

01:35:24.000 And they take a point away from him.

01:35:25.000 And he touches his gloves like, I'm sorry, I got carried away.

01:35:27.000 And he touches it.

01:35:28.000 Okay, okay, okay, okay.

01:35:29.000 Boom! 0.99

01:35:30.000 Bang! 1.00

01:35:32.000 That was crazy.

01:35:36.000 I know, but it's also like, defend yourself at all times.

01:35:40.000 Like, he thought that they were gonna, like, be friends, and then you just get stopped like that.

01:35:44.000 I mean, it's the end of his career, essentially.

01:35:47.000 Because he never really reached world-class level again, where people were thinking about him as being a world champion.

01:35:53.000 That was the fight.

01:35:54.000 And he had been in movies, right?

01:35:56.000 He'd been in a couple of movies.

01:35:58.000 Wasn't he in, like, The Expendables or something like that?

01:36:00.000 I think he was in, like, a big movie.

01:36:03.000 And that was it.

01:36:04.000 The same attack on Floyd.

01:36:07.000 He was attacking Todd.

01:36:09.000 And I think Todd knocked him down in like the last round.

01:36:15.000 Like he got him.

01:36:16.000 And I think the scorecard was too late or something.

01:36:20.000 I don't know.

01:36:21.000 How old is he now?

01:36:22.000 Victor's got to be like 37, 38 years old now, right?

01:36:28.000 If I'm guessing.

01:36:30.000 35. Man, so when that Floyd fight happened, he had to be in his early 20s.

01:36:35.000 There you go.

01:36:35.000 He got him.

01:36:36.000 There you go.

01:36:36.000 Todd got him.

01:36:37.000 Let me say that again.

01:36:41.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:36:42.000 Come on, hit him with it. 0.99

01:36:42.000 Bow! 0.99

01:36:44.000 Oh, that left hook and the right hand behind it. 0.99

01:36:46.000 Yeah, he got it.

01:36:46.000 Oh, he dropped him.

01:36:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:49.000 Shit! 1.00

01:36:50.000 I got it there. 1.00

01:36:52.000 35. He's like, yeah, you got me.

01:36:55.000 You know what's crazy is that Floyd is still doing these exhibitions, making millions.

01:37:00.000 Oh, did you see the one he just did?

01:37:02.000 Yeah, he looked fantastic. 0.99

01:37:03.000 I'm sorry, he's like, I ain't got no hair cut for this shit. 0.99

01:37:07.000 Yeah, straggling. 0.99

01:37:08.000 I think he's enjoying that look. 1.00

01:37:10.000 Going out whooping people's ass, like, yo, for millions of dollars, I ain't got to promote this shit. 1.00

01:37:15.000 I'm just showing up, hanging out ass whooping, like... 1.00

01:37:19.000 It's like Floyd wait to get hit. 1.00

01:37:22.000 To see where you at with your power and be like, okay, now I'm gonna fucking demolish you. 1.00

01:37:27.000 He was holding the ring card girl's card and walking around. 0.98

01:37:30.000 Do you see what he was doing?

01:37:32.000 He held up the card in between rounds.

01:37:34.000 Floyd walked around with the card.

01:37:36.000 He put on a show because he's like, it's really smart because he's giving them the money's worth.

01:37:42.000 It's not just a boxing exhibition.

01:37:44.000 He's putting on a show.

01:37:45.000 He's laughing and dancing.

01:37:47.000 He's got a big smile on his face while the fight's going on.

01:37:50.000 Christian Carwell.

01:37:51.000 And that was a guy who he had sparred before.

01:37:53.000 Would you fight?

01:37:54.000 No.

01:37:55.000 No.

01:37:56.000 I'm too banged up.

01:37:58.000 I'm too old.

01:37:59.000 I'm not interested anymore.

01:38:04.000 Muscle memory alone, you'll probably take somebody out.

01:38:07.000 Just mere muscle memory.

01:38:09.000 I'm not...

01:38:10.000 Yeah, I mean, probably. 0.97

01:38:12.000 I could fuck some people up, but I'm not interested. 0.98

01:38:14.000 It's an old man in our gym. 0.99

01:38:17.000 Main Street.

01:38:21.000 He looks like a problem.

01:38:25.000 He's so rugged and so hard that I would never even play with him. 0.99

01:38:33.000 Just go up and put your hands up just from muscle memory alone and he'll fucking destroy you. 0.98

01:38:38.000 Like he just does it so much like the shit is a problem some guys can keep it up they can like Floyd 45 years old looks fucking amazing the best example is Tyson 55 years old and they're still talking about him fighting either Logan or Jake Paul like that is crazy and I don't know what would happen if Oh, 0.99

01:39:00.000 man. 0.99

01:39:01.000 If Logan Paul would beat Tyson, I would fucking just, I would die. 0.99

01:39:07.000 I think Jake would probably be the better fight. 0.99

01:39:09.000 Jake, whatever the heavier dude.

01:39:11.000 The better one is Jake.

01:39:12.000 Jake's the one who knocks people out.

01:39:14.000 Logan is more of a boxer. 1.00

01:39:16.000 I would fucking just die. 1.00

01:39:18.000 I can't believe that would happen. 0.99

01:39:19.000 I would just, I like, because Floyd, when he fought Floyd, I think Floyd was really... 0.97

01:39:27.000 When Floyd got tired of the bullshit, he just... 0.97

01:39:30.000 Yeah, he put it on him. 1.00

01:39:32.000 But he's so big. 0.99

01:39:33.000 And I think that one of them punches kind of just wobbled the shit out of him and Floyd was holding him up like, yo, don't fuck up your money. 0.99

01:39:42.000 I'm fighting this and goddamn it. 0.99

01:39:44.000 You think so? 0.99

01:39:45.000 It's the parts in that fight where Floyd was like, yo, let me show you. 0.99

01:39:49.000 I don't give a shit how big you are. 0.99

01:39:50.000 You're not on this level. 0.99

01:39:52.000 Oh, he's definitely not on that level, but I think he was too big. 0.99

01:39:54.000 And I'm telling you, it's a part in that fight where Floyd snapped his neck back, and I was like, oh shit, he gone. 0.61

01:40:01.000 And Floyd was like, you could see Floyd holding him up like, don't fall! 0.94

01:40:04.000 I didn't notice that. 0.95

01:40:07.000 I noticed Floyd was definitely outboxing the shit out of him.

01:40:10.000 But the difference between Floyd and Mike Tyson is Floyd's 155 pounds.

01:40:16.000 Mike Tyson's 220. Solid as a rock, even if he's 55. He's on all the Mexican supplements. 0.98

01:40:23.000 He's on everything.

01:40:24.000 They use electrical muscular stimulation on him.

01:40:27.000 You know what they do?

01:40:27.000 You ever seen those things they do to build you up?

01:40:29.000 He does exercises where they put these, he talked about it on the podcast, where they do these pads connected to wires.

01:40:37.000 And so he's doing these exercises and these things are like charging his muscles and it makes your muscles develop faster and better. 0.99

01:40:45.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:40:46.000 Yeah, so when he got back into shape, yeah. 1.00

01:40:48.000 My wife does that shit. 1.00

01:40:50.000 You slap, like, these electrodes on you and do squats and shit. 1.00

01:40:53.000 It, like, stimulates your muscles. 0.95

01:40:55.000 It's painful, but apparently it has a big effect on the way your muscles grow.

01:40:59.000 I would love to go in the hot box and talk to Tyson.

01:41:03.000 He's great to talk to.

01:41:04.000 He gets so high.

01:41:06.000 Just to talk to him about his stay in prison.

01:41:09.000 What was it like?

01:41:10.000 Was it different then?

01:41:12.000 Because I know...

01:41:13.000 This is the thing about what people don't understand about prison.

01:41:16.000 People are like, well, Tyson was in there. 0.99

01:41:18.000 Who gives a fuck? 0.99

01:41:20.000 In prison, I wouldn't be scared. 1.00

01:41:24.000 Because you can't be scared of anyone.

01:41:27.000 You can't show that.

01:41:29.000 And you have to respond.

01:41:30.000 I wonder what people... 0.99

01:41:32.000 Because I know people in there that would be like, I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:41:34.000 This dude named Brown. 0.98

01:41:36.000 I never would tell this story, but when Brown... 1.00

01:41:39.000 Brown was a fucking monster. 1.00

01:41:42.000 Like, I remember being an SSI. It's like you're a custodian. 1.00

01:41:45.000 And I was cleaning up lockup.

01:41:47.000 And I didn't know what Brown looked like.

01:41:49.000 I just heard him.

01:41:50.000 He was in the cell.

01:41:51.000 He was in close custody.

01:41:53.000 And he would be hitting this metal door when he was pissed.

01:41:56.000 He would be hitting this door.

01:41:57.000 Boom! 0.99

01:41:58.000 Boom! 0.99

01:41:59.000 Boom! 1.00

01:42:00.000 It was like a fucking silverback gorilla was in this goddamn place. 1.00

01:42:06.000 I was like, who the fuck is that? 1.00

01:42:08.000 Oh, that's Brown. 0.99

01:42:09.000 And when you would feed him, you don't give people their trades.

01:42:12.000 You can't really see it because it's a little box.

01:42:15.000 When they let him out of close custody, I mean, I actually laid eyes on Brown the day that he came out.

01:42:25.000 He came out of the cell and he ducked. 0.99

01:42:27.000 It's like the fucking Green Mile. 0.99

01:42:30.000 And I had never even saw the Green Mile. 1.00

01:42:33.000 Brown is a huge 6'8 man that was fucking huge. 0.94

01:42:43.000 There was another guy on the unit named Wynn that was from Vegas. 0.99

01:42:47.000 He was black and Italian.

01:42:49.000 That's how I learned about the Pink Floyd album.

01:42:51.000 He sung every song.

01:42:52.000 He knew every song.

01:42:53.000 My favorite song was Comfortably Numb. 1.00

01:42:55.000 He would sing that shit all the time. 1.00

01:42:57.000 And he's this Italian dude. 1.00

01:42:59.000 And he's huge.

01:43:01.000 He looked like Lou Ferrigno.

01:43:02.000 He's huge.

01:43:05.000 And I weighed by what?

01:43:08.000 120, 125. And Brown and Wynn fucking loved me. 0.99

01:43:14.000 And they would always be fucking me. 1.00

01:43:15.000 I'd be playing basketball. 0.99

01:43:16.000 And they had universal weights on this particular unit.

01:43:20.000 And they needed more weight.

01:43:22.000 Because they would do the stack.

01:43:23.000 And they needed more weight.

01:43:25.000 And I'm like, the perfect size.

01:43:32.000 I'm like, man, either we gon' fuck up the game or you gon' come over and let us get a couple sets in. 1.00

01:43:40.000 Everybody be like, man, fuck y'all. 1.00

01:43:42.000 Y'all ain't the ones gotta go and stand on this shit like I'm standing on the universal weights. 1.00

01:43:46.000 I'm like, yo, two sets. 0.98

01:43:50.000 That's it. 1.00

01:43:51.000 I'm going to fucking step on your chest. 0.99

01:43:54.000 And I'm on top of the universal ways of holding on to the USC Brown. 1.00

01:43:57.000 Yeah! 0.98

01:43:57.000 That's what I'm fucking talking about. 0.98

01:43:58.000 I'm standing on the way. 1.00

01:43:59.000 I'm like, I fucking hate y'all. 0.99

01:44:01.000 And Brown used to, we had this thing called Jack Mac that we would eat. 0.99

01:44:05.000 And most people chopped it up and put it in soups and with mayonnaise and all this other shit to make it a spread. 0.83

01:44:11.000 He would pull it out the can and just put it on bread. 0.88

01:44:15.000 The bones, the skin, everything.

01:44:17.000 He would drink the juice and just be like, yeah, youngster.

01:44:21.000 These people don't know. 0.98

01:44:22.000 And he was so big, but he was like a fucking tame bear when he would talk to me. 0.99

01:44:28.000 He was like, man, my mama died. 1.00

01:44:31.000 I ought to kill everybody. 1.00

01:44:32.000 I'm like... 1.00

01:44:34.000 Brown, that's not the way you solve that.

01:44:38.000 How old were you?

01:44:39.000 I was, what, 22?

01:44:41.000 You were 19 when you went in?

01:44:42.000 Yeah.

01:44:44.000 What'd you go in for?

01:44:45.000 Being a street pharmaceutical rep, which is very frowned upon.

01:44:48.000 Street pharmaceutical rep?

01:44:51.000 Very frowned upon.

01:44:55.000 What a great description!

01:44:57.000 Street pharmaceutical rep!

01:44:59.000 But meanwhile, being a regular pharmaceutical rep, you can do far more dangerous things, crush people's lives, far more destruction, sanctioned.

01:45:11.000 And not only that, you can hire a lobbyist.

01:45:14.000 Yeah, somebody to lobby for you.

01:45:16.000 Hey, the world needs to use opioids.

01:45:19.000 Yeah, more, more, everywhere.

01:45:21.000 I heard they're not even addictive.

01:45:23.000 We gotta study!

01:45:27.000 A street pharmaceutical rep.

01:45:29.000 Meanwhile, somebody's scratching at your nook.

01:45:32.000 You have more fentanyl.

01:45:34.000 It's not addictive.

01:45:35.000 Get him out of here.

01:45:38.000 It's not addictive.

01:45:40.000 Like, yeah.

01:45:41.000 Okay.

01:45:41.000 It's a weird thing.

01:45:42.000 Last year, they had the highest number of deaths ever from overdoses.

01:45:47.000 It's the number one cause of death between people age 18 to 49. Wow.

01:45:53.000 Oh.

01:45:53.000 Over 100,000 people.

01:45:55.000 I'm still thinking diabetes, but...

01:45:57.000 I don't think so.

01:45:59.000 Diabetes is probably like number three.

01:46:01.000 I think heart attack is number two.

01:46:03.000 What is the cause of death 18 to 49?

01:46:07.000 I believe number one is opiates.

01:46:09.000 And it's all...

01:46:10.000 A lot of it is fentanyl that's getting mixed into street drugs.

01:46:14.000 Like people who buy ecstasy, they think it's just ecstasy.

01:46:17.000 It's got fentanyl.

01:46:18.000 Buy coke, it's got fentanyl in it.

01:46:19.000 It's those people. 1.00

01:46:23.000 Like the shit that happened in those comics in LA. That was coke with fentanyl. 1.00

01:46:28.000 Me?

01:46:30.000 I look back and I noticed that I wasn't that type of person.

01:46:39.000 All throughout my years of destruction, I wasn't that type of...

01:46:46.000 Like, this special is from 10 to 15. The next one will be from 16 to 19. But in that, I wasn't...

01:46:59.000 Because I didn't...

01:47:02.000 Especially when people watch it, they'll know that I'm not this hardcore criminal or I came from some bad family where you had to sell drugs and make it like my mom had a job and I'm just out being influenced by the people that's outside.

01:47:18.000 I never understood a couple things in that life.

01:47:25.000 I never understood, as I got older, I never understood why there was no honor amongst these.

01:47:29.000 Why were you making these transactions so dangerous and so hard?

01:47:34.000 And then I never understood people doing things to their customers just to stretch it or adding drugs to the drug that you're selling.

01:47:48.000 I never understood that desire I still don't understand.

01:47:53.000 Why would you mix something with something else?

01:47:59.000 You have to sell? 0.99

01:48:01.000 Goddamn, what's the deal? 0.99

01:48:03.000 I just don't understand the concept. 0.98

01:48:05.000 They just want to get the most amount of money.

01:48:09.000 Some people, they get caught up in numbers.

01:48:13.000 They get caught up in what they can do and they don't have a moral or ethical structure.

01:48:18.000 So I'm selling you apples because you're a consumer.

01:48:21.000 You're one of my customers that you buy my apples.

01:48:25.000 Why would I put something in the apples that's going to kill off the people who buy my apples?

01:48:32.000 Well, there's two things going on.

01:48:34.000 One, there's cartels. 0.99

01:48:36.000 And the cartels don't give a fuck. 0.98

01:48:38.000 The amount of people that are going to buy their cocaine is endless. 0.98

01:48:42.000 It's the only way to get it.

01:48:43.000 It's coming in over the border.

01:48:44.000 They're constantly bringing it in. 0.99

01:48:46.000 And if they can cut it and make more money, they don't give a fuck. 0.98

01:48:49.000 And if they sell it to you, you think you're going to buy what you bought last month, but you're buying a totally different thing now because they decided to try a new formulation with fentanyl. 0.98

01:48:58.000 And maybe you do one bump, you're okay.

01:49:00.000 Maybe you do two bumps, you're dead.

01:49:02.000 That's the fentanyl deal.

01:49:04.000 Like fentanyl.

01:49:05.000 You've ever seen the amount of fentanyl that'll kill you?

01:49:07.000 Like in comparison to a penny?

01:49:09.000 It's crazy.

01:49:10.000 Pull out the image. 0.99

01:49:12.000 When you see it next to a penny, you just go, what the fuck? 0.99

01:49:15.000 It's like lead in the water. 0.99

01:49:16.000 It's the tiniest amount.

01:49:17.000 It's the tiniest amount of fentanyl that will kill you.

01:49:21.000 It's like a hundred times stronger than heroin.

01:49:24.000 It's like being okay with a little water, a little lead in the water. 1.00

01:49:29.000 Oh, shit! 0.99

01:49:30.000 I still feel like it can't be right because it's given to people as a... 1.00

01:49:33.000 Yeah.

01:49:33.000 So they're giving them less than that?

01:49:35.000 They're giving them less than that, yeah.

01:49:37.000 They really are.

01:49:38.000 No, I know it seems like it can't be right, but the folks that are just listening at home, we're looking at a penny from 2012, and the amount of fentanyl that'll kill you will cover up the number 2012, and that's about it.

01:49:50.000 It's a small...

01:49:51.000 It's Lincoln's beard. 0.93

01:49:53.000 Lincoln's beard is the amount of fentanyl that'll kill you on a penny. 0.72

01:49:57.000 Which is crazy.

01:49:58.000 And that's real.

01:49:59.000 Look at it.

01:50:00.000 Look at it next to heroin.

01:50:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:03.000 What is this other shit? 0.99

01:50:05.000 Carfentanil? 1.00

01:50:06.000 Oh, there's one that's worse?

01:50:08.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99

01:50:09.000 So 1.2 milligrams of fentanyl will kill you.

01:50:13.000 And then 0.2 of carfentanil.

01:50:18.000 You know, value per milligram is $250 and you have 0.2 milligrams.

01:50:27.000 I'm quite sure my uncle took more heroin than that.

01:50:31.000 Well, I think you could develop a tolerance.

01:50:34.000 You know, Mitch Edberg had a crazy tolerance, apparently.

01:50:39.000 Hedberg, they tried to get him to clean up.

01:50:42.000 And he's like, nope.

01:50:43.000 Nope, I like heroin. 1.00

01:50:45.000 Damn. 1.00

01:50:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:47.000 Died on a sword.

01:50:49.000 I think that comics...

01:50:53.000 Should be the most healthiest people.

01:50:56.000 Like, they should value their health a lot.

01:50:58.000 Like, we on the road, we in different environments all the time, you traveling, you in different hotels.

01:51:05.000 Like, your health should be a priority to you.

01:51:11.000 And I know some of us, we just fall, and you eating terrible food, if you, you know, you in a lot of these clubs, you eating at the club, you eating everything. 0.99

01:51:20.000 Chicken fingers and bullshit, yeah. 0.96

01:51:22.000 But you have to have energy to perform. 0.99

01:51:24.000 If you really want to be at your best, you want to be vibrant.

01:51:27.000 You want to have energy.

01:51:28.000 You know?

01:51:29.000 If you're drinking every night and... 1.00

01:51:33.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:51:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:51:36.000 And if you're doing coke.

01:51:39.000 If you look at the guys who petered out, like Kennison petered out worse than anybody, but he was just partying every night.

01:51:47.000 It was all coke and alcohol.

01:51:49.000 If you go and watch Kennison from like 86 and then watch Kennison in 1990, it's like he's a shadow of himself.

01:51:55.000 Four years later.

01:51:57.000 Shadow of himself.

01:51:58.000 Almost like a parody.

01:51:59.000 Almost like someone was trying to do a Kennison impression at one of those impersonator shows.

01:52:06.000 Yeah.

01:52:07.000 You know, someone does a...

01:52:08.000 Yeah, Texas guy.

01:52:11.000 Yeah, Houston.

01:52:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:52:13.000 Damn. 1.00

01:52:14.000 We were talking about it last night in the green room. 0.99

01:52:16.000 There's a video out there.

01:52:17.000 See if you can find Kenison doing revival preaching.

01:52:22.000 I know there's a video out there of him in one of those tent revivals doing Jesus preaching.

01:52:32.000 It's wild, man.

01:52:33.000 He was so powerful.

01:52:35.000 He was a dope comic.

01:52:39.000 Him and...

01:52:40.000 Thea Vidal used to tell me stories about being with him at the time, being around him at the time, because they were all coming up together.

01:52:48.000 And sometimes people forget about Thea. 0.98

01:52:50.000 Thea was a fucking legend. 1.00

01:52:52.000 She was a beast. 1.00

01:52:53.000 Fucking legend. 1.00

01:52:54.000 There it is. 0.99

01:52:54.000 This is a 36 minute recording of it without video. 0.99

01:52:57.000 The Last Sermon in 1982. Yeah.

01:53:02.000 You care about me?

01:53:03.000 I know they care about me.

01:53:05.000 Yeah, give me a bump. 0.84

01:53:08.000 Oh my god, the sound is terrible.

01:53:12.000 Oh, he's singing.

01:53:13.000 I've been married twice.

01:53:18.000 And I've had my heart broke.

01:53:20.000 I've had people disappoint me.

01:53:24.000 I know it's like to have your own home, drive new cars off the lot, and have to sleep in a bar with no place to go.

01:53:33.000 If I know one thing, I've never had God turn His back on me.

01:53:42.000 Every time I was alone.

01:53:47.000 Every time I was convinced.

01:53:56.000 No one knows peace or love again.

01:53:58.000 God was right there.

01:54:03.000 I'm telling you something tonight.

01:54:05.000 You can't get away from God.

01:54:08.000 You may think you're in a place where you go, well, my life's real secure.

01:54:12.000 My life can't be changed.

01:54:14.000 I've got everything I want.

01:54:16.000 But I'm finding out something about age and about time.

01:54:19.000 That's it.

01:54:20.000 You're going to be here a long time.

01:54:22.000 Your needs change.

01:54:23.000 Your personality changes.

01:54:26.000 Different aspects of your life change.

01:54:28.000 If there's one thing that doesn't change, that's your need for God.

01:54:33.000 Scoot it up, scoot it up towards the end.

01:54:36.000 Let me hear it.

01:54:53.000 The day of that kind of life out there.

01:54:56.000 Amen.

01:54:56.000 But I tell you this, I know what I've been commissioned to do.

01:54:59.000 I know what God called me to do.

01:55:01.000 I know what my purpose is.

01:55:10.000 I need your purpose.

01:55:12.000 Amen.

01:55:13.000 If I ever cross your heart, it's because God's laid me on it.

01:55:17.000 Amen.

01:55:18.000 If I cross your mind, if I happen to just, you're driving sometime and I happen to cross your heart or your mind, it's because I'm out there praying for the body of Christ to pray for me because I need you.

01:55:35.000 Amen.

01:55:37.000 Amen.

01:55:38.000 I'm telling you something, this world's about to be shook up.

01:55:41.000 And I'm just glad I have a part in it.

01:55:43.000 I'm glad you have a part in it.

01:55:44.000 Because I wouldn't have made it without the prayers of this church, without the support of this church.

01:55:48.000 I couldn't have took it.

01:55:50.000 Amen.

01:55:50.000 I couldn't have lasted.

01:55:52.000 Amen.

01:55:52.000 I have one spiritual friend out there.

01:55:55.000 That's it.

01:55:56.000 Out of all the people I know, out of all the people I deal with and talk to.

01:56:00.000 I know one spiritual friend.

01:56:01.000 You say, well, why don't you go to different churches out there?

01:56:04.000 I've tried and they're nothing but the law.

01:56:06.000 I don't need to know about being saved.

01:56:07.000 I've been saved.

01:56:08.000 I don't need to know about being filled with the Holy Ghost.

01:56:11.000 Honey, I've walked in it for the last 12 years.

01:56:14.000 It takes a lot to feed me.

01:56:16.000 Amen.

01:56:16.000 The law doesn't cut it.

01:56:17.000 Your little list of rules doesn't cut it.

01:56:20.000 Because you can't...

01:56:21.000 This is why the world won't accept it.

01:56:24.000 Amen.

01:56:24.000 The priesthood is going to have to come to humanity.

01:56:27.000 Humanity's not going to come to the priesthood.

01:56:30.000 Amen.

01:56:31.000 This is why Jesus left the temple, Brother Marty.

01:56:34.000 Amen.

01:56:35.000 Praise God.

01:56:35.000 They tried to accuse Him of all kinds of things.

01:56:37.000 They said, He's a blasphemer. 0.72

01:56:39.000 He's a wine-bibber.

01:56:41.000 He's irreverent.

01:56:42.000 He's not a truth-teller. 1.00

01:56:43.000 He's a liar. 1.00

01:56:44.000 He's Beelzebub. 1.00

01:56:45.000 He's this.

01:56:46.000 He's that.

01:56:47.000 Amen.

01:56:47.000 And Jesus said, listen, amen, the well don't need a physician.

01:56:51.000 I didn't come for you.

01:56:52.000 I came for the lost.

01:56:54.000 I came for the lives without hope.

01:56:57.000 People without an answer. 0.93

01:56:58.000 People living on the edge of their existence.

01:57:02.000 Amen.

01:57:03.000 Now I'm telling you, people would do their job spiritually.

01:57:06.000 If they'd walk in this spiritually, you wouldn't have the drug in this country.

01:57:10.000 Amen?

01:57:10.000 You wouldn't have the alcoholism in the youth that you have in this country.

01:57:14.000 Amen?

01:57:15.000 But it ain't going to be done by rules.

01:57:16.000 It's going to be done by reality.

01:57:19.000 It ain't going to be done by a little program for them.

01:57:21.000 It's going to be done by something they feel in their self.

01:57:24.000 They're not going to take your word for it.

01:57:26.000 They're going to have to feel it, Brother Marnie.

01:57:29.000 It's going to have to shake them.

01:57:30.000 And Kevin, I respect you because you didn't listen You just didn't accept it because they told you it was real.

01:57:37.000 You had to wait until you felt it.

01:57:39.000 You had to wait until it shook you up.

01:57:40.000 But brother, it did!

01:57:42.000 And you are changed!

01:57:43.000 And you are His!

01:57:45.000 And you can't run from Him!

01:57:46.000 Amen!

01:57:47.000 You ran into Him!

01:57:49.000 Whoo! 0.78

01:57:49.000 Glory to God! 0.78

01:57:50.000 I was with Him!

01:57:53.000 I saw it happen.

01:57:55.000 Four years later, he was doing an HBO special. 1.00

01:57:58.000 Talking about getting his dick sucked and dead dudes getting fucked in the ass by gay guys. 1.00

01:58:05.000 Four years later. 1.00

01:58:06.000 I mean, four years later, he was the biggest comic on earth.

01:58:10.000 Look at him.

01:58:12.000 That's four years later.

01:58:32.000 Well...

01:58:34.000 Look at that.

01:58:35.000 He gave him a little taste.

01:58:36.000 That's an impression.

01:58:37.000 That's not really...

01:58:37.000 You know, he's just doing himself.

01:58:38.000 Yeah, he's doing...

01:58:39.000 Well, he's just saying...

01:58:40.000 Well, that was...

01:58:41.000 Someone asked him, could you do...

01:58:43.000 Could you preach again?

01:58:44.000 Do you have the Lord still in you?

01:58:47.000 I mean, imagine if you were in that tent watching that guy perform like that. 0.99

01:58:50.000 Like, God damn. 1.00

01:58:51.000 What a charismatic motherfucker. 1.00

01:58:54.000 And then four years later, you're strumming through HBO. You're like, hey! 1.00

01:58:58.000 What the fuck... 1.00

01:58:59.000 The fuck just happened? 1.00

01:59:02.000 I mean, he must have been doing some comedy back then. 1.00

01:59:06.000 Because if this was 82, and that was his last sermon, he must have been doing sermons and comedy at the same time.

01:59:14.000 Look at that.

01:59:14.000 He's preaching there in 1975. So really developed his act preaching.

01:59:21.000 What's the show that comes on?

01:59:24.000 It's about the preachers.

01:59:25.000 You remind me.

01:59:27.000 Which show?

01:59:28.000 I think it's on HBO. It's about preachers.

01:59:32.000 God damn it, the name of it fails me. 0.98

01:59:36.000 What's the guy from Roseanne that was the lead on Roseanne? 0.99

01:59:39.000 John Gooden.

01:59:39.000 John Gooden is in this.

01:59:41.000 He's the head pastor of this church.

01:59:43.000 John Goodman and what is...

01:59:45.000 Okay, I know what you're talking about. 1.00

01:59:48.000 This is the shadiest shit of all time. 1.00

01:59:51.000 I think it's HBO. Righteous Gemstones. 1.00

01:59:54.000 Righteous Gemstones. 1.00

01:59:56.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:59:59.000 It... 1.00

02:00:00.000 Gemstone.

02:00:02.000 I didn't mean to do that.

02:00:03.000 Righteous Gemstone.

02:00:05.000 It's important.

02:00:07.000 Man...

02:00:09.000 Oh, from the creators of Eastbound and Down.

02:00:11.000 Is this a new show?

02:00:12.000 Oh, it's... 1.00

02:00:12.000 These motherfuckers are crazy. 1.00

02:00:14.000 Danny McBride. 1.00

02:00:15.000 Danny McBride.

02:00:16.000 It's hilarious. 1.00

02:00:17.000 She's fucking insane. 1.00

02:00:19.000 Oh, look at this. 1.00

02:00:20.000 They are insane. 0.99

02:00:22.000 Oh, this looks good. 0.99

02:00:23.000 Oh, my. 1.00

02:00:24.000 You can't stop watching this wild ass shit. 1.00

02:00:27.000 They are fucking... 1.00

02:00:29.000 It's on HBO. There's a thing about those kind of high-rolling preachers. 1.00

02:00:34.000 Like, what's that fucking dude's name? 0.99

02:00:37.000 The dude down in Houston? 1.00

02:00:39.000 Joel...

02:00:40.000 Joel Osteen.

02:00:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:00:42.000 Shit. 1.00

02:00:43.000 Joel Osteen is fucking high off the heart. 1.00

02:00:46.000 Him and... 0.99

02:00:47.000 What's my guy?

02:00:49.000 Those guys make so much money.

02:00:51.000 What's the black guy?

02:00:53.000 Um, Potter's House, um, out of Dallas. 0.98

02:00:57.000 The guy with the hot dogs in the back of his neck?

02:00:59.000 The big guy? 1.00

02:01:01.000 Damn, I ain't never seen the back of his neck. 1.00

02:01:02.000 It looks like he's got a stack of hot dogs in the back of his neck. 1.00

02:01:05.000 You know, that hot dog fat? 1.00

02:01:06.000 God damn it. 0.99

02:01:07.000 Is this the guy that had that guy coming off the ceiling, like on the ropes? 0.99

02:01:12.000 Potter's House.

02:01:13.000 There's a lot of those guys.

02:01:14.000 Who is the reverend of a Potter's House?

02:01:18.000 That's the dude.

02:01:19.000 He's famous.

02:01:20.000 Yes, that's the guy. 0.99

02:01:22.000 I don't know why his goddamn name isn't. 0.99

02:01:27.000 Not Joel Osteen. 0.99

02:01:28.000 What is his name? 1.00

02:01:29.000 Shit! 1.00

02:01:30.000 I'm looking at him. 1.00

02:01:31.000 T.D. Jakes.

02:01:31.000 T.D. Jakes, yes.

02:01:33.000 T.D. Jakes.

02:01:35.000 That guy could have been a comic.

02:01:37.000 Yeah.

02:01:37.000 All those guys.

02:01:38.000 The charisma, the way they deliver lines.

02:01:41.000 D.D. Jakes is fucking... 1.00

02:01:42.000 I haven't told this story, but it's a guy in Houston. 1.00

02:01:47.000 I was at a wake for my friend Andre.

02:01:50.000 Reverend Dixon Jr. Oh, he told this story. 1.00

02:01:54.000 This shit was so hysterical. 0.99

02:01:57.000 I'm trying to find a way to put it in my show. 1.00

02:02:00.000 Because there's a point to it.

02:02:02.000 About knowing what you have.

02:02:04.000 He said he up there, he preaching and he said he bought a horse.

02:02:08.000 He said, I'm a country boy.

02:02:10.000 I bought a horse from a man and I rode the horse for the first time in a parade.

02:02:17.000 I'm in a parade and I get by the band and The band starts playing, and the horse starts dancing, moving.

02:02:29.000 I'm like, I can't control him.

02:02:31.000 I'm trying to get this horse under control, and I can't control him. 1.00

02:02:34.000 And I'm sitting there listening to this story, like, where the fuck is he going with this shit? 1.00

02:02:38.000 And he said, then the band was stopping, and then the band started playing again. 1.00

02:02:42.000 The horse, I can't control him, he's dancing.

02:02:44.000 I called him, I get through the parade, and I called the man.

02:02:48.000 I said, hey, man, this horse ain't been broke.

02:02:51.000 He can't obey.

02:02:53.000 He said, what you doing with the horse?

02:02:55.000 He said, I rode him in a parade.

02:02:57.000 He said, okay, what happened?

02:02:59.000 He said, the band start playing, the horse start moving, I couldn't control him. 1.00

02:03:04.000 He said, oh, shit. 0.99

02:03:07.000 Oh, because he used to be a show horse. 1.00

02:03:09.000 He used to dance to bands.

02:03:12.000 His whole point was, I didn't know what I had.

02:03:15.000 He thought that the horse was bad, but he was a show horse.

02:03:19.000 And when the band started playing, he started going into the routine.

02:03:27.000 Everybody else is trying to get a message.

02:03:29.000 I'm in there dying. 1.00

02:03:30.000 I'm like, yo, this shit is hysterical. 1.00

02:03:32.000 I'm like, who bothers a horse that don't know the fuck the horse? 1.00

02:03:35.000 Then it's a show horse trained to dance. 1.00

02:03:39.000 I was like, Reverend Dixon, that shit is hysterical to me. 0.99

02:03:42.000 And I'm like, yo, I got to find a way to put that in my act about not having. 0.99

02:03:47.000 Oh, who is this floating?

02:03:49.000 That's what I thought you were talking about.

02:03:51.000 Who is this guy?

02:03:52.000 Oh, this is a Mississippi.

02:03:53.000 He's known as the Floating Preacher.

02:03:55.000 I think he gets stuck like halfway down.

02:03:58.000 He got the Beyonce. 1.00

02:03:59.000 He got the Beyonce shit. 1.00

02:04:01.000 The Janet Jackson Method Man and Red Man. 1.00

02:04:06.000 He gets stuck sort of just floating here for a couple seconds.

02:04:08.000 They're like, what do you do?

02:04:15.000 That's hilarious.

02:04:22.000 There's something that they have.

02:04:24.000 A showmanship.

02:04:25.000 Yeah.

02:04:26.000 There's an entertainment value to the way they present that you could learn something from.

02:04:31.000 Because, like, that's one of the things that always bothered me about the alt-comedy scene.

02:04:36.000 The alt-comedy scene, specifically in L.A. They didn't want to try hard, and they didn't like it when people tried hard.

02:04:43.000 They would get upset.

02:04:44.000 Like, if someone came on the show, like, how's everybody doing?

02:04:47.000 They're like, oh...

02:04:48.000 What is he doing?

02:04:49.000 He's trying.

02:04:51.000 He's trying hard.

02:04:52.000 It's like a lack of entertainment value.

02:04:54.000 They wanted, it's almost like they wanted the bar super low.

02:04:57.000 And they could just go up and go, so I'm at Starbucks the other day.

02:05:01.000 And so the barista, you know, there's a barista at Starbucks.

02:05:06.000 It's a, you know, fancy word for guy who pours your coffee.

02:05:11.000 There's this alt style of comedy that's very low energy, very reference-oriented.

02:05:20.000 They say a lot of obscure references to be clever.

02:05:25.000 And if you're a powerful comic, like if you're a guy who's got a Bobby Lee type dude who runs up there and has all this energy, they don't want you there.

02:05:35.000 They don't want you there.

02:05:36.000 You're fucking up the show by being too funny.

02:05:39.000 It's a weird dynamic. 0.95

02:05:40.000 Terrible dynamic.

02:05:41.000 With comedy.

02:05:44.000 Me going into the alt scene, because I go in there, and they think that I'm like them, because I'm slow and methodical, and it's like, I don't think he's like us.

02:05:57.000 No, I'm not.

02:05:59.000 It's a weird dynamic and then it's the same dynamic, which is crazy to me, it's the same dynamics as me going into a hood room. 0.51

02:06:12.000 They want certain things.

02:06:16.000 And I'm not giving them that.

02:06:18.000 I'm walking up, I'm sitting down, and you'll hear people say, you all right?

02:06:23.000 Like, yeah, I'm all right, I'm just sitting down.

02:06:27.000 There's something wrong with me sitting down?

02:06:29.000 And they mind, like, why would you be sitting down?

02:06:32.000 It's stand-up comedy.

02:06:34.000 Then I go into what I do, and I have to win you over because I think that it's a thing with stand-up.

02:06:45.000 That the audience, a person goes and see, they're not adventurous in their entertainment value when it comes to that.

02:06:54.000 Like, if you like a Bruce Bruce or Earthquake, why don't you think you would like a R.S. Shafia and a Joe Rogan?

02:07:01.000 Like, what would make you think you wouldn't like them?

02:07:05.000 Oh, they not my style to stand up.

02:07:08.000 So, you come to an Ali Sadiq show, With a preconceived notion of what you feel like comedy is.

02:07:17.000 And if I'm not doing that, then you sitting there like, what is he doing?

02:07:22.000 I'm being the human being that I am.

02:07:25.000 And I'm going to deliver if you don't come to my show looking for me to be another comic.

02:07:33.000 Right.

02:07:34.000 That's the thing that's got comedy has genres, but it doesn't.

02:07:37.000 It's like, if you go to see live music, you never see Wu-Tang Clan followed by Alan Jackson.

02:07:48.000 It's a style of music.

02:07:50.000 If you go to a rock concert, you expect rock.

02:07:53.000 You don't expect folk music.

02:07:56.000 But if you go to see a comedy show, you can see...

02:07:59.000 It could be Aerosmith, it could be Run DMC, it could be Whitney Houston.

02:08:04.000 The styles are so different, but it's all under the guise of comedy.

02:08:07.000 And you kind of have to adjust for each individual's perspective. 0.99

02:08:11.000 And some people, they want to hear that Kinnison shit. 0.99

02:08:14.000 They don't want to hear anything slow. 1.00

02:08:15.000 They want to hear rapid fire.

02:08:17.000 They have an idea in their head.

02:08:19.000 A myopic idea of what comedy is.

02:08:22.000 And I don't see it like that.

02:08:24.000 I see it as I'm going, like, I would, it's people that I've seen, like I watched Ari last night.

02:08:33.000 And I died several deaths. 1.00

02:08:38.000 Watching Ari, like, yo, this shit is fucking hysterical. 1.00

02:08:42.000 Well, he's doing that new Jew special, that special that he worked on for a long time. 1.00

02:08:47.000 It's tight. 1.00

02:08:48.000 This shit is hysterical! 1.00

02:08:51.000 It's very good. 1.00

02:08:52.000 It's very well written, too.

02:08:55.000 I'm talking about even the small nuggets that he said... 0.99

02:09:00.000 Let me tell you the funniest shit. 0.99

02:09:03.000 Like, I had to stop watching because it was so fucking funny. 1.00

02:09:07.000 I couldn't laugh. 0.98

02:09:07.000 I couldn't laugh another second. 0.98

02:09:09.000 And I still went in the back and laughed more from behind, watching it from behind the stage without the audience just listening to it.

02:09:16.000 He said if it was a time, because it's so relatable, it was a time that you didn't think that you could talk to girls. 0.99

02:09:28.000 And he said some shit in there that's so fucking hysterical. 0.99

02:09:31.000 The thing about holding a girl's hand? 1.00

02:09:34.000 And he goes, he said, if I could talk to my 14-year-old self, I would go back in the future and look, I don't have much time.

02:09:41.000 I gotta tell you. 0.99

02:09:42.000 And then he's talking and then he said, your 14-year-old self looking at your new self and he says, He looked at it and he's like, yo, look, some shit fails. 0.99

02:09:51.000 Like, of his hair. 1.00

02:09:51.000 He go like, look, don't fuck. 1.00

02:09:53.000 Fuck my hair. 1.00

02:09:54.000 Fuck what's gonna happen to you. 1.00

02:09:55.000 And then he says, you're an asshole. 1.00

02:09:57.000 That's why people don't like you in the future. 1.00

02:09:58.000 Because you're an asshole. 1.00

02:10:03.000 If I go back and look at my 14-year-old self, my 14-year-old self, looking at what he's going to become, I'm like, look, man, fuck you, man. 1.00

02:10:10.000 You ain't bad. 1.00

02:10:11.000 Yeah.

02:10:15.000 It's a great set.

02:10:17.000 It's a great set.

02:10:18.000 And my role manager, Dre, Dre's always with me, and Dre has probably learned so much about comedy, just being in the room and seeing the different dynamics. 0.99

02:10:31.000 And last night, He was in the room and he was like, he never knew that white comics talk so much shit just like black comics. 0.99

02:10:44.000 He was like, y'all all the fucking same. 1.00

02:10:47.000 All of y'all talk shit. 1.00

02:10:50.000 Y'all talk so much shit about that lady bombing. 1.00

02:10:55.000 He was like, yo, this is the same shit y'all would be saying. 1.00

02:11:00.000 Yo, man, he just fucking sucks. 1.00

02:11:05.000 Like, yo, that lady would have got so... 1.00

02:11:07.000 It's comics that hate me to this day. 1.00

02:11:10.000 Because I told them that that shit was trash. 1.00

02:11:13.000 Like, very early. 1.00

02:11:14.000 I'm like, yo, man, you need to work on that shit. 1.00

02:11:16.000 That shit is garbage, son. 1.00

02:11:18.000 And now, I don't do that. 1.00

02:11:21.000 Like, I won't tell you anything.

02:11:24.000 If you think that you're good, like...

02:11:26.000 That lady... 1.00

02:11:27.000 The disservice...

02:11:32.000 By this sensitive culture that you don't get what you actually need to be a beast in this game. 1.00

02:11:41.000 Like, your fucking skin has to be toughened up. 0.99

02:11:45.000 And this is what I say about the new generation of the social media comedian. 1.00

02:11:54.000 When you started...

02:11:56.000 You weren't going to what they...

02:11:59.000 Let's go to politics, how it res is politics.

02:12:03.000 So Trump only did interviews on Fox.

02:12:09.000 Kellyanne Conway, she only does interviews on Fox.

02:12:12.000 And I know this because I listen to Fox. 0.97

02:12:14.000 And I'm listening because I want to hear these interviews of people who never come on Other media outlets to answer any type of fucking question and they call them softball questions. 1.00

02:12:26.000 They give them fucking softballs. 0.98

02:12:28.000 So as a comic, if you always get softball, like you bringing your audience to the club, like these are people and they fucking love you and they come in just for you, but you don't have a lineage We're good to go. 1.00

02:13:07.000 So you're just getting all softballs.

02:13:09.000 So then when you go into an audience, now you're on what I call one of these conglomerate shows with all different types of comics on the show and you don't have a lineage and you have to follow somebody.

02:13:22.000 You have to go up behind somebody. 0.99

02:13:25.000 And you see the difference, like, oh, you never had to go up after a monster and still get your shit off. 0.99

02:13:34.000 You never had to do these things, so it handicaps you in this business. 0.98

02:13:39.000 Because, yo, I'm on this show, you're popular, and he's popular, but you gotta go up behind Rogan. 0.76

02:13:49.000 And Rogan has taken the room on a fucking journey, and now you coming up with the Hey! 0.99

02:13:56.000 They like, the fuck out of here. 0.99

02:13:59.000 Like, what are you doing? 0.98

02:14:00.000 Then somebody else comes behind you and destroys the room again.

02:14:05.000 And you like, oh, it was the crowd.

02:14:07.000 Like, nah.

02:14:08.000 It was you.

02:14:09.000 It's the skill set.

02:14:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:14:10.000 It's the fucking skill set. 1.00

02:14:12.000 It's managing the moment, too. 1.00

02:14:14.000 Some things that you can do maybe after you got them, maybe if you get them going for 20 minutes, then you could do a slow pitch shit. 0.98

02:14:22.000 You can do something where they trust you. 0.96

02:14:24.000 And then you could take them to a different place.

02:14:27.000 But if you're going on after Joey Diaz...

02:14:32.000 Joey Diaz is murdering.

02:14:33.000 That's one of the reasons why I started taking Joey on the road with me, because I bombed after him once.

02:14:38.000 I took him on the road with me to New Jersey, and he destroyed, and I did not.

02:14:43.000 I had a rough set.

02:14:45.000 It wasn't bad.

02:14:45.000 It wasn't like the worst bombing, but it definitely wasn't good.

02:14:49.000 It was like, there was Joey, he was way stronger than me, and then there was me. 0.94

02:14:52.000 I was like, damn, I gotta bring this dude with me everywhere. 0.90

02:14:55.000 I need that heat. 0.99

02:14:56.000 Yeah.

02:14:57.000 It helped.

02:14:58.000 It helped him and it helped me.

02:14:59.000 It helped me because he would crush so hard that you had to be able to ride that wave.

02:15:03.000 You couldn't be nervous about it.

02:15:05.000 That's like half of it is enjoying the person who's on before you.

02:15:09.000 Laughing.

02:15:09.000 So you go on stage, you're already laughing.

02:15:11.000 You're having fun.

02:15:12.000 Yeah.

02:15:13.000 Do you know Jeff Sewell?

02:15:14.000 No.

02:15:15.000 He used to be a booker for the Houston Improvs.

02:15:19.000 Like Dallas and Addison, you know, all of them.

02:15:23.000 I used to think he hated me.

02:15:25.000 Because he would always talk to me about how great other comics was. 0.90

02:15:29.000 He would never fucking say anything to me about me.

02:15:37.000 It taught me that your perception of yourself is definitely important. 0.98

02:15:48.000 Because Jeff, I would run into other people And Jeff would be like, they would tell me like, Jeff Sewell fucking loves you. 0.77

02:15:58.000 I'm like, what? 0.95

02:16:00.000 He never says anything good about me.

02:16:02.000 Like, to who? 0.99

02:16:04.000 Like, he fucking raves about you. 0.99

02:16:08.000 When you're not there. 0.99

02:16:09.000 Like, you're like the one for him.

02:16:11.000 But he would always tell me about how great other comics were.

02:16:15.000 So Bill Burr wants somebody to open for him.

02:16:20.000 He's getting ready to do his special.

02:16:22.000 And he asked Jeff Sewell, he's like, yo, I need somebody because I'm doing the Paramount in Austin. 0.98

02:16:30.000 I need somebody who's going to come in that room and fucking destroy this room. 0.97

02:16:34.000 And did I want to come out on a high? 0.99

02:16:38.000 Who do you think?

02:16:40.000 So I get a call to open for Bill Burr.

02:16:47.000 And I'm like, okay, cool. 0.98

02:16:50.000 Bill Burr, he comes in my green room, he's like, yo, I know you're gonna be fucking great. 0.98

02:16:59.000 Jeff said, if you want a killer in front of you, this is one. 0.98

02:17:06.000 I'm like, what? 0.99

02:17:07.000 Yeah, Jeff fucking says that you like the man. 0.99

02:17:10.000 So whatever the pair of my hoses sold out, I walk out there, and it's literally two black people in the whole entire place. 1.00

02:17:19.000 It's me and an usher.

02:17:28.000 And I had on all black, and I'll never forget when I walked out, I said, hey, let me tell y'all something before I even start. 0.99

02:17:36.000 This is the worst fucking place to wear all black. 0.98

02:17:40.000 And I want y'all to know, I do not work here. 1.00

02:17:45.000 I don't know where the fucking restrooms are. 1.00

02:17:47.000 I don't know anything, because people were stopping me like, hey, you know where the restroom is? 0.99

02:17:51.000 People ask me like I've done before.

02:17:52.000 And then I noticed that I had on all black. 1.00

02:17:54.000 I'm like, this is bullshit. 1.00

02:17:56.000 And I fucking destroyed. 1.00

02:17:59.000 And Bill came and said, yo, any fucking thing you need from me. 0.99

02:18:03.000 Like, you need me to help you in any way. 0.98

02:18:06.000 I will refer you. 0.99

02:18:07.000 I will do any fucking thing. 0.96

02:18:09.000 Thank you. 0.99

02:18:10.000 And I was like, Jeff.

02:18:12.000 I was like, thank Jeff. 1.00

02:18:14.000 Like, I really thought that he was like, yo, you shit. 1.00

02:18:17.000 But Jeff, Jeff was like, yo, you fucking. 1.00

02:18:19.000 But he... 0.99

02:18:20.000 He just couldn't give it to me because he felt like...

02:18:23.000 I've been in this room since 2011. It used to be Spellbinders before it was the improv.

02:18:30.000 They had a fucking rainforest. 0.99

02:18:32.000 And I used to go there and he just never paid fucking attention to me. 0.99

02:18:38.000 And when he told me he got sick, he was like, I always thought you were fucking great. 0.97

02:18:42.000 Like, always. 0.98

02:18:43.000 Like, what I can tell you. 0.98

02:18:46.000 Like, I didn't want you to fucking stop trying to get it. 0.81

02:18:51.000 Like, if somebody tells you that you're great up front, and you never, you never strive to be better, Even with myself, I do an album or I do a special and I want the next one to be better than the last one. 0.97

02:19:11.000 I don't see it any other way.

02:19:14.000 Why would you start declining or why would you go there?

02:19:18.000 It's different facets of your growth in stand-up.

02:19:23.000 I think you can always be original in this business if you're being honest about who you are and the growth.

02:19:34.000 You're not supposed to be doing the same thing I've been doing it, what, almost 24 years.

02:19:40.000 I'm not supposed to be the same as I was in the first 10 years.

02:19:45.000 Of course not.

02:19:45.000 Because the first 10 years, I used to do this joke about this story actually about getting body slammed in a fight.

02:19:52.000 I wasn't ready. 0.98

02:19:54.000 This dude, like, we fighting and we get close and he fucking picks me up and body slams me. 1.00

02:20:01.000 And I'm like, yo, after you get body slammed in a fight, you fucking lost. 0.99

02:20:05.000 I don't give a damn what happened after that. 1.00

02:20:06.000 You fucking lost. 1.00

02:20:07.000 It's like your shoe coming off in a fight. 1.00

02:20:09.000 You fucking lost. 1.00

02:20:12.000 And I would do this flip. 1.00

02:20:15.000 Boom! 0.99

02:20:15.000 I would land on my back and I'd be on the ground. 0.99

02:20:18.000 And I know the older I get, I'm not going to continue to be able to do this shit. 0.99

02:20:23.000 This is not a long-standing joke. 1.00

02:20:26.000 Fuck this story, because I have to do the flip in order to sell it. 0.99

02:20:31.000 Nah, I'm not. 0.99

02:20:32.000 So I'm supposed to develop into something a little better than what I was in the beginning, the first 10, the first 15. If you don't have a lineage, how do you do that?

02:20:44.000 Like, how do you learn to get better?

02:20:48.000 How do you have a desire?

02:20:49.000 I'm like Seabiscuit.

02:20:51.000 I see you running and I want to run faster to catch you.

02:20:57.000 But if I don't have that desire in me, I'm cool with being number seven and thinking and having this illusion that I'm great, but I'm only playing in front of these softball audiences for me.

02:21:12.000 Yeah, you gotta have a lot of people around you that are good too.

02:21:15.000 It's very important.

02:21:16.000 It's very rare that you go to a town and there's no one good except one guy.

02:21:22.000 It's very rare.

02:21:23.000 Very rare.

02:21:24.000 Very rare there's like one standout world-class comedian that's just in a town by himself existing in a vacuum.

02:21:30.000 Yeah.

02:21:31.000 They're never.

02:21:32.000 It's a lot of great comics out of Houston.

02:21:34.000 Like, I've been around a lot of great, like when people say, what's your influences?

02:21:38.000 I start with Houston guys.

02:21:40.000 The history is huge.

02:21:42.000 And I know DC has the Mecca and New York feel like they have something and LA feel like that.

02:21:47.000 And I would argue the point about Texas comics.

02:21:52.000 I would argue, like, man, we stronger than you think.

02:21:57.000 And we play, we Midwest.

02:21:59.000 Midwest comics, I think, talk from a different perspective because they don't have this...

02:22:07.000 This grandioso idea that they, I'm LA and I'm New York or I'm Atlanta. 0.98

02:22:14.000 I'm like nah, we the Midwest and we got a lot of shit to talk about. 0.98

02:22:19.000 And I just think, it's not a better thing. 0.99

02:22:24.000 What's more accepted?

02:22:26.000 And I think the audiences in the Midwest are regular people.

02:22:31.000 And when you want to do stand-up, you're talking to regular people.

02:22:36.000 That's not got this...

02:22:39.000 I remember performing in LA and it felt like the audience was waiting on somebody else.

02:22:44.000 They waiting on someone famous.

02:22:47.000 They waiting on something.

02:22:49.000 They holding laughs like, I'm not gonna give it all to you.

02:22:53.000 I'm like, man, that guy's hysterical.

02:22:55.000 Give it up to him.

02:22:56.000 LA's a pretentious place, and a lot of the people that are in that audience either want to be in the business, wish they were actors, wish they were famous, or they're peripheral to it.

02:23:05.000 They're agents or managers.

02:23:06.000 They're jaded and weird, and they're all social climbers.

02:23:10.000 So it's like there's a weirdness to it.

02:23:12.000 Like when someone famous goes on stage like, Oh, yes.

02:23:15.000 Someone who is of the caliber of fame that I... But there could be someone before them that's funnier, and they don't even care.

02:23:22.000 They don't care.

02:23:23.000 They're not just trying to have fun.

02:23:25.000 There's a pretentiousness to it that's more...

02:23:28.000 New York's got a hardness to it that I kind of like.

02:23:30.000 LA's got a pretentiousness to it.

02:23:32.000 But when you're in a place like Houston, all the pretentiousness is out the window.

02:23:37.000 It's just, are you good?

02:23:38.000 Are you good?

02:23:39.000 Willie D and I talked about that with the hip-hop scene in Houston.

02:23:43.000 It was the same thing when the Ghetto Boys were exploding. 0.92

02:23:46.000 When the Ghetto Boys were hot, there was a whole different style of rap coming out of this one section of the country, and you had to respect it. 1.00

02:23:56.000 Brad Jordan, Scarface, changed the cadence of people.

02:24:02.000 And Willie D and Bushwick Bill.

02:24:04.000 But then you had this whole entourage of other rappers that came behind Zero and Slim Thug and Lil' Kiki and Big Pokey and UGK. And that's phenomenal that Our first versus is about to be Bun B with UGK versus A-Ball and MJG. That's the first South versus.

02:24:25.000 Everything else has been in LA and New York.

02:24:26.000 This is a R&B. This is a South thing, and I know they're going to turn up.

02:24:32.000 Because Bun is like a...

02:24:35.000 He's becoming like the mayor of the city.

02:24:39.000 Then you have all these like Beat King and...

02:24:44.000 Megan.

02:24:44.000 Look at Megan Thee Stallion.

02:24:46.000 Look at Travis Scott.

02:24:47.000 These are people that's from Houston that this whole...

02:24:50.000 Toby.

02:24:51.000 It's this whole revolution of rappers that spawned from the initial style of the Ghetto Boys.

02:25:00.000 All that rap-a-lot records.

02:25:02.000 Yeah, rap man.

02:25:03.000 J. Prince.

02:25:04.000 Then you had people that came down like Tony Draper with Suave House.

02:25:07.000 You had all these other guys that start...

02:25:10.000 The South...

02:25:13.000 I remember the Source magazine.

02:25:16.000 If he could pull that up.

02:25:17.000 The Source magazine where they had all of the Houston rappers on the Source.

02:25:23.000 And I remember walking through New York.

02:25:25.000 I bought it in New York.

02:25:27.000 I'm like, yeah, you see? 1.00

02:25:29.000 Fucking the South is on the fucking cover of the Source magazine. 1.00

02:25:33.000 Look at that. 1.00

02:25:34.000 Don't mess with Texas.

02:25:35.000 Look at Chameleon Air, Pimp C, Slim Thug, Bun B, Zero, J Prince, Lil Flip, OG Ron C, Michael 5000 Watts, my man right there,

02:25:51.000 Mike Jones, and Scarface on the end.

02:25:54.000 I was in Mike Jones' video.

02:25:56.000 Back then, you didn't want me.

02:25:58.000 Now I'm hot.

02:25:59.000 You're all on me.

02:26:01.000 Like, that was a big... 0.99

02:26:03.000 And that shit said, don't mess with Texas. 0.99

02:26:05.000 Why? 0.99

02:26:06.000 Houston region won't be... 1.00

02:26:08.000 Man, this shit was like phenomenal! 0.99

02:26:11.000 You need that with rap and you need that with comedy. 1.00

02:26:13.000 You need a scene.

02:26:15.000 If we...

02:26:15.000 If Houston did that with comics, it would be...

02:26:22.000 Oh yeah, and that's the overall, look at the overall picture with Lil O and Chingo Bling. 1.00

02:26:29.000 You know Chingo Bling do comedy now. 1.00

02:26:32.000 Chingo Bling, yeah, Chingo Bling is a comic. 0.80

02:26:35.000 Man, that's the ESG. Big Hawk, Pokemon, it's a team, like DM, it's a song by this guy named DMD. It's a great photo, too.

02:26:48.000 It's the fucking squad. 0.99

02:26:49.000 That's on J. Prince's ranch. 1.00

02:26:51.000 Really?

02:26:52.000 Yeah, man.

02:26:53.000 It's like the...

02:26:53.000 Wow.

02:26:54.000 Look at that shit, man. 1.00

02:26:55.000 That's Texas. 1.00

02:26:57.000 And I was proud.

02:26:59.000 Man, look at Lil' Kiki. 1.00

02:27:00.000 Look at Hard-Body Chiodi, Pokey, Hulk. 1.00

02:27:04.000 Man, this shit was phenomenal. 1.00

02:27:07.000 Man, I remember getting chills when I saw this shit. 1.00

02:27:10.000 I was like, yo, man, Texas is on the fucking map, right? 0.99

02:27:15.000 And when you talk about comedy, it's like, if we did that with comedy, with Bill Hicks and Sam Kenison, Thea Vidal, Brumman, Billy Dee Washington, Ruchon McDonald, 0.97

02:27:32.000 fucking David Raybon, myself, Marcus D. Wilding, Terry Gross, Keira Space, Dez White, Dave Lawson.

02:27:43.000 It's so many comics that's been influential. 0.97

02:27:46.000 And then we still have Shane Wayne.

02:27:49.000 We have the whites. 1.00

02:27:51.000 Man, we fucking... 1.00

02:27:52.000 Bob Biggestaff. 0.99

02:27:53.000 It's like some phenomenal comics, man.

02:27:56.000 We like, yo, man.

02:27:58.000 Our R&B scene.

02:28:00.000 Man, you watch The Winning Game?

02:28:02.000 No.

02:28:03.000 It's with...

02:28:04.000 It's about the rise of the Lakers with Dr. Jerry Buss.

02:28:07.000 Mm-hmm.

02:28:08.000 I read the credits, too.

02:28:11.000 And it's an R&B artist, a jazz artist by the name of Robert Glasper.

02:28:16.000 And I'm reading the credits.

02:28:20.000 And I paused it when I saw musical director Robert Glasper. 0.99

02:28:27.000 And it's just fucking a... 1.00

02:28:28.000 It's like fucking Houston. 1.00

02:28:31.000 It's all over the place. 1.00

02:28:33.000 You see yourself living anywhere else ever?

02:28:35.000 Nah.

02:28:36.000 Just Houston?

02:28:37.000 It's in the blood.

02:28:41.000 It's H-Town.

02:28:43.000 So when you decided to film your special, you wanted to do it in Houston?

02:28:47.000 I wanted to do it.

02:28:47.000 I actually...

02:28:48.000 I did it intimate.

02:28:54.000 But I'm still searching for the love from my city.

02:28:58.000 Because I think that I represent so well.

02:29:02.000 And I think that the people who spawn off of me represent well.

02:29:08.000 Kevin Iso and Bryson Brown and all these people.

02:29:11.000 Kevin Iso has a show on Showtime, Flatbush Misdemeanor.

02:29:16.000 He's a writer.

02:29:18.000 And he wrote in his second season. 1.00

02:29:21.000 It's a fucking great show. 0.94

02:29:24.000 I think that my representation of what spawns off of me and what I've done when I go out on the show. 0.98

02:29:33.000 I never try to misrepresent my city when I'm performing on TV or anything.

02:29:39.000 Because I want them to be proud.

02:29:42.000 As proud as I am, when I see somebody from Houston, I want them to be that.

02:29:51.000 When I found out Thea Vidal I was from Houston.

02:29:54.000 She's been to all these great movies.

02:29:57.000 I was like, yo, she from Houston? 0.99

02:29:59.000 I lost my shit when I found out Booker T was from Houston. 1.00

02:30:03.000 Like a fucking wrestler. 1.00

02:30:04.000 I'm like, yo, anybody from my city that's doing something, whether it's political, whether it's art, whether it's educational, whatever you doing, I'm like, yo, it's fucking Houston. 0.99

02:30:16.000 Right. 0.97

02:30:17.000 And I just see...

02:30:19.000 I just see...

02:30:21.000 I wanted to do it in the Toyota Center.

02:30:24.000 I'm one of them people that...

02:30:25.000 I don't want...

02:30:29.000 Dave Chappelle and Kevin Hart and all these other people that come to my city and play the Toyota Center or Gary Owens and Michael Blackson come to the improv and sell out 14, 15 shows and shit like that and then I don't do the same thing. 0.99

02:30:49.000 Like that shit is a driving force. 0.99

02:30:52.000 How you get so much love? 1.00

02:30:55.000 What did you do?

02:30:56.000 I'm not an actor. 1.00

02:30:57.000 I don't look at sitcoms and movies and desire that shit. 0.99

02:31:01.000 I'm on stand-up. 0.99

02:31:02.000 And I want to do it from the stand-up position.

02:31:06.000 Because a lot of these other greats were doing it from the stand-up.

02:31:12.000 Colin was in Car Wash. 0.94

02:31:16.000 With fucking one of the greatest comics of all time, which is Franklin Ajay. 0.98

02:31:23.000 He was the fly in the car wash. 0.96

02:31:25.000 And I don't think that the movie was what compelled him what people wanted.

02:31:30.000 I think it was his words.

02:31:31.000 It was his standard.

02:31:32.000 Because those were somebody else's words.

02:31:33.000 I want to do it...

02:31:35.000 Yeah.

02:31:36.000 Look at that.

02:31:38.000 Look at George Carlin.

02:31:39.000 This is one of my movies.

02:31:42.000 I know the whole soundtrack.

02:31:44.000 I love every song.

02:31:45.000 And I know every scene.

02:31:47.000 76. Yeah.

02:31:49.000 Wow.

02:31:51.000 I would love to be in a movie like Taxi.

02:31:54.000 With a bunch of other comics.

02:31:55.000 I think for you, it's just a matter of a special like this and maybe more specials like this.

02:32:02.000 You're undeniable.

02:32:03.000 When people see it, they'll get it.

02:32:05.000 Like this year, I want to be the first comic to ever win an Emmy for a comedy special that's not on the network.

02:32:13.000 Louis C.K. already did that.

02:32:14.000 He won an Emmy?

02:32:15.000 Yeah.

02:32:16.000 Louis C.K. won an Emmy.

02:32:17.000 Or a Grammy.

02:32:18.000 He won a Grammy.

02:32:19.000 That's right.

02:32:19.000 He won a Grammy.

02:32:20.000 Can you even win an Emmy if you're not on a network?

02:32:24.000 Is it a television show award?

02:32:28.000 It's YouTube TV. Is it?

02:32:30.000 Do people on YouTube win Emmys?

02:32:32.000 Hopefully it can happen.

02:32:34.000 I think that I want to try to push the envelope to when people say, hey man, when they feel bad, they'll be like, yo, listen.

02:32:41.000 I know them other guys, it was on Netflix or HBO or something else, but it's gonna be a problem if we say this is the best special of 2022 and we give it to somebody. 0.99

02:32:56.000 Fuck those awards though, man. 0.99

02:32:58.000 The people will give you your own award just by seeing you. 1.00

02:33:01.000 Who is the deciding vote on the Grammys or the Emmys? 1.00

02:33:06.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

02:33:07.000 Who are those people? 1.00

02:33:08.000 Who are they? 1.00

02:33:09.000 Fuck off. 1.00

02:33:10.000 The thing is to achieve some shit without them having to, like, I would, I remember DL told me when I was on Bring the Funny, and I was talking to him, he was like, you think he gonna win? 1.00

02:33:22.000 I was like, God, I hope, but I went in, I went in it, my agent Joe, Joe would tell anybody. 0.96

02:33:31.000 Because he talked me into doing it.

02:33:32.000 I said, cool, we'll do it. 0.99

02:33:34.000 I tried to lose every fucking round. 0.99

02:33:37.000 Because I was on tour. 0.98

02:33:39.000 I was like, yo, I'd rather just do the tour dates. 1.00

02:33:41.000 I don't need this shit. 0.99

02:33:43.000 And he's like, we're going to do it. 1.00

02:33:45.000 So every round, I was like, I kept my shit packed. 0.94

02:33:50.000 I was like, we're going to go do the round. 0.99

02:33:52.000 I'm shortening these stories down to two minutes and 30 seconds to get this shit off. 0.97

02:33:56.000 And I'm just, whatever job I'm doing, cool. 0.95

02:33:58.000 And I keep advancing.

02:34:00.000 And I would call Joe.

02:34:02.000 I'm like, I made it to the next round.

02:34:04.000 He's like, okay, good. 1.00

02:34:06.000 And I was like, fuck. 1.00

02:34:09.000 So I would make it to the next round. 1.00

02:34:12.000 And DL, by the third round, now I got the taste of blood in my mouth. 0.99

02:34:22.000 Like, I want to win this shit now. 0.99

02:34:25.000 And DL was like, I don't want you to win. 0.99

02:34:28.000 I said, what?

02:34:29.000 I don't want you to win.

02:34:31.000 I want you to be the person that people wanted to win and didn't.

02:34:37.000 I'm like, what?

02:34:39.000 He said, more people are going to see you.

02:34:41.000 More people are going to come to the shows to see you.

02:34:43.000 They wanted you to win and you didn't.

02:34:47.000 And they wanted to come tell you.

02:34:52.000 Sometimes I doubt my mentors.

02:34:55.000 Like I doubt the experience. 0.97

02:34:57.000 I don't know fucking why. 0.99

02:34:58.000 And I'm like, so then I lose. 0.99

02:35:01.000 And anybody who watched the show would see my face.

02:35:04.000 Like I don't have a poker face at all. 0.99

02:35:07.000 Whatever the fuck is on my mind is on it. 0.98

02:35:09.000 So they panned the audio. 0.99

02:35:11.000 I'll never forget that the cameraman did just like this. 0.99

02:35:13.000 So they announced the winner and everybody's cheering and shit. 0.98

02:35:17.000 But this is my face. 0.99

02:35:19.000 Like, your face is right now.

02:35:20.000 They was panning like this, and that man got right to me and went the camera up.

02:35:23.000 And then did everybody else, because my face was like this. 1.00

02:35:28.000 I'm not clapping for that shit. 0.99

02:35:29.000 Like, I'm not. 1.00

02:35:30.000 And when I didn't win, I was like, okay, fuck it. 0.99

02:35:36.000 And then people started coming to the shows, telling me how they, you should have won. 1.00

02:35:42.000 And I was like, fuck it right again. 0.98

02:35:47.000 We decided to do this podcast again. 0.98

02:35:50.000 We did one just a few months ago, but we decided to do it again because on the last one, we were just talking about stuff and HBO didn't like what you said.

02:36:00.000 Yeah.

02:36:01.000 And they pulled your special.

02:36:02.000 Yeah.

02:36:04.000 And, you know...

02:36:07.000 You have opinions about things.

02:36:09.000 You're supposed to be allowed to have opinions about things, but when you have opinions about what they want to deem protected class, and that's like, I mean, we were talking about gay people, and your opinion was about gay people adopting children.

02:36:25.000 Yeah, I said my thoughts, and I didn't, the thing about a thought, I'm not saying I'm right.

02:36:33.000 I'm not saying I'm wrong.

02:36:35.000 I'm telling a thought.

02:36:36.000 Now it's on what I think to either be altered, corrected, more information, whatever the situation is, but that's not going to happen right off the top without me having a conversation about it.

02:36:55.000 And knowing that error is...

02:37:03.000 I think?

02:37:24.000 Am I wrong?

02:37:27.000 Not in thinking a thought.

02:37:29.000 I'm not out doing the rallying for it.

02:37:32.000 I'm just saying what my thought was in a conversation.

02:37:35.000 I'm allowed to do that.

02:37:36.000 I'm not saying that you can't have anything.

02:37:39.000 I'm just saying my thoughts on something.

02:37:41.000 I didn't think that the Lakers should have got Westbrook.

02:37:49.000 I didn't think that it was a good fit.

02:37:51.000 Do the Laker Nation come after me?

02:37:54.000 Because I had a thought about, hey, I think that Magic Johnson is the greatest basketball player of all time.

02:38:03.000 I think Bill Russell is the greatest basketball mind of all time.

02:38:07.000 If you like Jordan, you like Jordan.

02:38:09.000 But I will have a discussion with you about the greatness of Magic Johnson.

02:38:15.000 But this was a discussion about whether or not gay people should be able to adopt children.

02:38:19.000 Yeah.

02:38:19.000 And you felt like they're not making children.

02:38:23.000 That was never a thing when you were young that gay guys didn't want children. 0.83

02:38:27.000 And then all of a sudden they do.

02:38:29.000 And you felt like it didn't fit.

02:38:32.000 That was my thoughts.

02:38:33.000 I wasn't rallying for anything.

02:38:36.000 I didn't think it was hateful.

02:38:38.000 It's a complex subject, right?

02:38:42.000 Because what your point was is they're not making the children.

02:38:46.000 And what other people's points would be, but yeah, wouldn't you just want the kids to be in a loving family?

02:38:51.000 And if the gay family loves them and supports them and raises them, it's far better than being in foster care, far better than being abused.

02:39:01.000 I think that that's the extreme that people put on.

02:39:08.000 I saw a dude who was giving this commentary on the talk without taking in the whole context of it.

02:39:17.000 But then he was like...

02:39:19.000 He's been indoctrinated in this, and his thoughts are, he's been indoctrinated into something.

02:39:24.000 I'm like, nah, I'm just a human being, and certain things in my era work, but...

02:39:31.000 They're saying you were indoctrinated?

02:39:33.000 Yeah, to something like what? 0.98

02:39:34.000 Something wrong with gay people? 1.00

02:39:35.000 Like, I never thought that, nor did I ever say that.

02:39:39.000 Did you have a conversation with anybody about it?

02:39:41.000 Like, did anybody talk to you and say, hey, we'd like to know why you think what you think?

02:39:44.000 No, they threatened me with violence. 0.99

02:39:47.000 They threatened me with violence, like a lot of people threatened me with violence, and I was sending my address to those people like, yo, you bring that shit on if you want to. 0.99

02:39:55.000 In what way they're threatening you? 1.00

02:39:56.000 I'ma come knock your fucking teeth down your throat and make you change. 1.00

02:39:59.000 How you think that's gonna make me change anything? 1.00

02:40:01.000 And what am I gonna be doing while you're knocking my teeth down my throat? 0.99

02:40:04.000 Like, what am I gonna be doing? 1.00

02:40:06.000 You think this is a fucking movie? 0.99

02:40:08.000 That I'ma just be just taking it? 1.00

02:40:10.000 Like, yo, but this was my point.

02:40:15.000 Your first thing was to do was not to rationally have a discussion.

02:40:20.000 Your thing was to threaten me with violence.

02:40:24.000 Well, that's one person.

02:40:25.000 No person ever DM'd me and said, I would like to have a conversation with you about your thoughts.

02:40:37.000 Did anybody from HBO want to have a conversation with you?

02:40:40.000 Did you speak to anybody, or is it spoken to your agent?

02:40:44.000 Spoken to my agent, and I asked for a conversation.

02:40:47.000 And when we had the conversation, I started the conversation off by this.

02:40:50.000 Do you think that I am an honest man?

02:40:55.000 Ali, this is not about your honesty.

02:40:57.000 Yes, it is.

02:40:59.000 Do you think that I am an honest man?

02:41:03.000 Yeah.

02:41:05.000 Now we can have the conversation.

02:41:07.000 Because if you don't think that I'm an honest man, there's no reason for me to go forward with this conversation.

02:41:12.000 Sitting across from me, do you think I'm a homophobe?

02:41:16.000 Sitting right across from me mean you having dinner?

02:41:20.000 No.

02:41:23.000 Okay.

02:41:25.000 Um...

02:41:28.000 I happened to watch New Rules with Bill Maher's last Friday.

02:41:33.000 I was tired, came from the show, exhausted.

02:41:38.000 Turned on HBO. Obviously, I have no problem.

02:41:42.000 I've watched a lot of HBO shows.

02:41:43.000 I have no ill feelings about them, their decision or whatnot.

02:41:47.000 No trip.

02:41:48.000 Still gonna watch my same HBO shows.

02:41:53.000 And then I hear Bill Maher talking after New Rules. 1.00

02:42:01.000 And he goes in, like really lays out some shit. 0.99

02:42:08.000 And then Sam Jay's show comes on right after that. 1.00

02:42:12.000 And Sam Jay is a lesbian, black lesbian woman that's a comic. 0.99

02:42:17.000 She has a show on HBO, which I'm on.

02:42:23.000 And she goes in about how the LGBT community does not represent her as a black lesbian woman. 0.99

02:42:33.000 And she's talking to these people and she's giving a whole candid understanding about how the shit does not relate to her. 0.99

02:42:43.000 Same thought patterns. 0.99

02:42:47.000 Of understanding, like, yo, explain to me why, X, Y, Z. And I'm sitting there looking like, wow.

02:42:54.000 Some people are free to say whatever they choose to say.

02:42:58.000 And some people are not.

02:43:00.000 And when you feel like you can handicap a person... 0.99

02:43:04.000 And she says on this, she said, I think that it's a bunch of entitled fucking white people that's pulling the strings of what... 0.98

02:43:11.000 And the lady that she says it to agrees and said, I think it's a lot of people that lobby for power and they feel like they can take a stance on this, that, and the third without no conversation. 0.98

02:43:25.000 If you manufacturing the consent of anything...

02:43:30.000 You manufacturing consent.

02:43:33.000 Everybody agrees, but I'm a part of everybody, right or wrong?

02:43:37.000 I have a different thought.

02:43:41.000 Your first thing was, because he has a thought, And a person that may not know him, because the person who knows me, who wanted the special, understands to a certain degree,

02:43:58.000 but it's not in their hand.

02:44:00.000 It's another person that has this.

02:44:04.000 And we talk about it.

02:44:07.000 But this is a thing that I'm not rallying for anything.

02:44:14.000 But I understand.

02:44:15.000 That's why I have no ill feelings about their decision.

02:44:18.000 That's your decision.

02:44:19.000 To not put me on your network because of expected backlash that did not come.

02:44:30.000 Because people, like, it's a thought.

02:44:35.000 So this is expected backlash from you doing the podcast and saying what you said, and then they were anticipating that there was going to be some attack on you.

02:44:44.000 Yeah, basically.

02:44:46.000 But it didn't really happen.

02:44:47.000 There's a few DMs.

02:44:48.000 A few DMs. 0.99

02:44:49.000 I got a few DMs, and people were like, what else is a goddamn heterosexual 48-year-old black male Muslim going to say? 0.99

02:44:56.000 What else is he going to say? 1.00

02:44:58.000 What the fuck? 0.99

02:44:58.000 But it's also like, what I would like to see is people have a conversation about it. 0.99

02:45:07.000 Adopting children is a complex conversation.

02:45:10.000 It's a complex conversation for everybody.

02:45:12.000 And it's not just the skill of what you want.

02:45:17.000 You also have to understand that you send... 0.97

02:45:21.000 If my son or my daughter wanted to do something that I know As a heterosexual parent, I'm concerned about the shit that I do that my kids have to explain. 0.98

02:45:36.000 They may not be equipped to explain it. 0.93

02:45:38.000 And you don't have a pamphlet of information that I can go to to explain anything. 0.78

02:45:46.000 Then right after that, I did this joke, which I still think is fucking funny because it happened.

02:45:53.000 And my four-year-old... 0.89

02:45:57.000 She, we in the elevator.

02:45:59.000 A man comes on there with a face full of makeup.

02:46:02.000 We got a full, what they call, beat face.

02:46:05.000 And my daughter's like, Daddy, why that man got on makeup? 1.00

02:46:10.000 I'm not thinking about this shit right now. 0.99

02:46:12.000 My mind's on something else. 1.00

02:46:14.000 I don't have time to explain this shit. 0.99

02:46:16.000 I said, he in a band. 1.00

02:46:23.000 That's all I said.

02:46:24.000 He's a band. 1.00

02:46:24.000 I don't know fucking band. 1.00

02:46:25.000 He ain't in the band. 0.99

02:46:29.000 So my four-year-old is still like, she see a man with makeup on, she doesn't think anything but, oh, he must be in the band. 0.99

02:46:36.000 But that's what I fucking, I don't have time to go into this shit right now. 0.99

02:46:41.000 With her in this elevator. 1.00

02:46:43.000 Right.

02:46:43.000 With this guy.

02:46:45.000 I don't know what his situation is.

02:46:45.000 He could have bad skin.

02:46:46.000 I don't know what the situation is. 1.00

02:46:48.000 But the quickest thing I can say right now, he's in a fucking van. 0.99

02:46:51.000 And people will laugh And then get mad when other people want to get mad with him. 0.99

02:46:59.000 But it's almost like the Will Smith thing. 0.98

02:47:02.000 Will laughed, Jada wasn't happy, now he fucking slaps Chris. 1.00

02:47:07.000 What the fuck just happened, Will? 1.00

02:47:09.000 He was just laughing. 0.99

02:47:10.000 But I think that if you are able to laugh at somebody else's disposition, you should be able to laugh at yours. 0.98

02:47:18.000 Because when I'm on stage, I'm saying a lot of shit that people may not agree with. 0.96

02:47:24.000 You may not agree with the parenting style of my parents, but you can't go back and change that. 0.98

02:47:31.000 My mom did what she did. 0.87

02:47:32.000 It made me who I am, and you pick up things. 0.97

02:47:35.000 But man, I'll never forget Mr. Reggie ran the day center, and Mr. Reggie was this black gay guy. 1.00

02:47:46.000 And he was fucking hysterical. 0.99

02:47:48.000 And I asked him one time, I said, Mr. Reggie, you want kids? 1.00

02:47:51.000 He said, hell no.

02:47:52.000 I don't even want y'all to be here. 0.99

02:47:55.000 I'm like, damn, Mr. Reggie? 0.99

02:47:58.000 He's like, me and y'all get on my goddamn nerves. 0.99

02:48:01.000 But he, I think that white experience, even in this world, is different than black experience. 0.99

02:48:11.000 Because my cologne man, Keith, You have a cologne, man?

02:48:17.000 Yeah, he supplies colognes at the barbershop. 1.00

02:48:22.000 And he gets the best shit. 0.99

02:48:24.000 So, and Keith is in our barbershop, and we have no rules. 1.00

02:48:32.000 We do not censor our conversation for Keith. 0.98

02:48:36.000 And when Keith comes in, I remember when Keith got his fucking hair, he got some hair implants. 1.00

02:48:44.000 And I'm talking about, Keith has done so much shit to himself. 1.00

02:48:48.000 And when he comes in and I see him, I'm going to say some wild shit to Keith. 0.99

02:48:58.000 He knows he's getting it. 0.99

02:49:00.000 And when he comes in, Keith don't give a shit about what I'm saying. 0.98

02:49:05.000 Keith's like, yo, man, you want this cologne or not? 0.99

02:49:08.000 Like, Keith, you just got, did you fucking get your eyes done? 0.99

02:49:11.000 Keith, do you have on fucking cinnamon contacts? 0.99

02:49:14.000 Or you just, I don't know, fucking proud today, huh, Keith? 0.99

02:49:18.000 Keith's like, Keith doesn't give a shit about what I, and he doesn't care what, I go to Midtown Barbershop. 0.99

02:49:24.000 He doesn't give a shit About anything that we say about him in that barbershop. 0.99

02:49:30.000 And he's not the only gay person that comes to the barbershop. 0.99

02:49:32.000 He's been coming there for years. 1.00

02:49:34.000 And Keith, he's a fucking crazy man. 1.00

02:49:38.000 But he's accustomed to that culture. 1.00

02:49:40.000 Yeah.

02:49:41.000 And whatever is said, that's not bothering him because we're not violent towards him. 0.99

02:49:47.000 We're just talking shit. 0.99

02:49:49.000 This is a barbershop. 1.00

02:49:50.000 Talking shit. 1.00

02:49:51.000 If you come in, if you straight and you come in with some weird shit on, some shit gonna be said about you. 1.00

02:49:57.000 It just, it happens. 0.98

02:49:58.000 So Keith come in, I ain't seen Keith in a while.

02:50:02.000 I said, Keith, where you been?

02:50:04.000 And then I had a little situation.

02:50:05.000 I had a little procedure.

02:50:06.000 I'm in the hospital.

02:50:07.000 And I immediately said, oh, you're getting your stomach pumped! 1.00

02:50:10.000 Like, I immediately said the shit. 1.00

02:50:14.000 Keith's like, you're a fucking asshole. 1.00

02:50:15.000 Like, I'm just saying. 1.00

02:50:17.000 But I don't think that they understand how black people operate Even in the space. 1.00

02:50:27.000 You think there's nobody gay in my family? 0.99

02:50:29.000 My cousin know I don't fucking hate him. 1.00

02:50:32.000 I don't give a shit about your sexuality. 0.99

02:50:34.000 So they want you to not talk about things as loosely, I guess, and take into consideration that you would hurt gay people's feelings that want to be parents? 0.99

02:50:49.000 I would probably hurt anybody's feelings if I'm up there talking about things that I think that's contrary to you, if that's where your feelings are based.

02:50:58.000 But my actions are Contrary to, like I say on stage, I'm not a handyman.

02:51:07.000 Am I really not a handyman? 0.99

02:51:09.000 Fuck no. 0.99

02:51:10.000 I have been not handy in the past. 0.99

02:51:14.000 But now I can figure out how to fix anything.

02:51:17.000 And if I can't figure out, I'm going to call somebody to ask. 0.94

02:51:19.000 Just like, I ask people, but it was all black people. 1.00

02:51:24.000 I say, you heard what I said on Rogan.

02:51:27.000 Yeah.

02:51:28.000 Was you offended?

02:51:30.000 No. 0.99

02:51:32.000 I'd buy the fucking lease, but that's my... 0.99

02:51:34.000 I think it's a subject that they don't want you talking about at all. 0.99

02:51:38.000 Unless you are...

02:51:40.000 Like you can't have opinions unless it is...

02:51:43.000 Their opinion.

02:51:44.000 Their opinion, yeah.

02:51:46.000 Manufacturing consent.

02:51:47.000 Well, and it comes...

02:51:48.000 It's not just about that.

02:51:50.000 Mario Lopez had to apologize because he was talking about children taking hormones to transition.

02:52:00.000 And he said he just didn't think that it should happen, that children should take hormones to become a different gender. 0.99

02:52:08.000 And he almost lost his fucking job. 0.99

02:52:12.000 And because he thought something? 1.00

02:52:15.000 Because he had an opinion about...

02:52:17.000 And by the way, that's an opinion shared by a lot of medical doctors.

02:52:20.000 That's an opinion shared by a lot of psychologists.

02:52:22.000 That's an opinion shared by a lot of people that are very concerned.

02:52:25.000 And he almost lost his job because you can't have an opinion that even...

02:52:30.000 Like I told you before in the first podcast, one of my old neighbors, they're gay, and they had a kid, and they adopted this kid, and this kid was great.

02:52:38.000 And they had a great family.

02:52:40.000 It does work.

02:52:41.000 I don't have the same opinion as you, as far as that.

02:52:45.000 But you're allowed to have different opinions about everything, in my mind.

02:52:50.000 Everything.

02:52:51.000 Look, that's what podcasts are all about.

02:52:54.000 That's what conversations are all about.

02:52:56.000 I want to know why you think the way you think.

02:52:58.000 And if you have a perception, and you have a way that you look at things, and it's different than the way I look at things, I just want to see why you think that way.

02:53:06.000 And you were pretty clear.

02:53:08.000 They're not making children.

02:53:11.000 This is a different thing.

02:53:13.000 You're adopting a child, but this is not the same kind of relationship as a man and woman who have a child and then raise a child, and it's like it comes out of the woman's body. 0.99

02:53:24.000 It's a connection.

02:53:26.000 It's a different thing.

02:53:27.000 It's a different thing, but when people do research, it's what they call a hypothesis.

02:53:36.000 They're trying to figure out What works is they have an educated guess and then they start working towards the things.

02:53:43.000 It's research.

02:53:44.000 So you think something and then you start to go through it.

02:53:54.000 Pros, cons.

02:53:56.000 Some things were like with the vaccination.

02:54:00.000 Some people got sick, some people didn't.

02:54:03.000 Is the vaccination bad?

02:54:04.000 I don't know.

02:54:04.000 Some people got sick, some people didn't.

02:54:08.000 I don't think the vaccination is good.

02:54:11.000 Cool.

02:54:13.000 Some people got sick, some people didn't.

02:54:15.000 You don't think you should take it.

02:54:16.000 Cool. 1.00

02:54:18.000 All these fucking non-vaxxers. 1.00

02:54:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:54:22.000 What?

02:54:24.000 Like, okay, were you asking people to get vaccinated?

02:54:28.000 Five years ago?

02:54:29.000 Ten years ago? 0.99

02:54:30.000 From other shit, but not this new shit that people don't have enough information on just yet. 0.99

02:54:36.000 So therefore, I don't want to fucking do it right now. 0.99

02:54:41.000 Right. 0.95

02:54:41.000 But it is another one of those things where you have to have the same opinion as everybody else. 0.95

02:54:45.000 Or they get furious at you.

02:54:49.000 But what does your fury do but cause more rage?

02:54:55.000 I don't think they're thinking about it that way.

02:54:57.000 I think they just, like, in this situation, like, the subject that we're talking about, gay people adopting children, I think people just want compliance. 0.98

02:55:05.000 They want you to comply with whatever the narrative that they're trying to establish is.

02:55:11.000 The same thing when Mario Lopez was talking about children taking hormones.

02:55:15.000 It's like, there's a narrative, they don't want you to have an opinion outside that narrative, and if you do, they want to fire you from things.

02:55:23.000 And the situation with you and HBO is, look, I told you this last night and I believe it now.

02:55:29.000 I think it's good.

02:55:30.000 Not necessarily good to have these people upset at you, but good that you put it on YouTube.

02:55:35.000 Because the distribution is so much better.

02:55:37.000 You'll get millions more views.

02:55:40.000 Millions more views.

02:55:41.000 It'll be accessible anytime anybody wants it for free.

02:55:44.000 Anytime you just pull up your phone, bam!

02:55:46.000 You're waiting for a plane, bam! 0.99

02:55:49.000 Watch it.

02:55:49.000 Anytime you want, bam!

02:55:51.000 Watch it.

02:55:51.000 It's always available.

02:55:52.000 Always available.

02:55:53.000 You'll get millions more views.

02:55:55.000 It's so much better for you.

02:55:56.000 And I think people will understand the thought process of a lot more things.

02:56:01.000 Yes.

02:56:05.000 At 10 that I knew were bad decisions later on.

02:56:10.000 But if somebody would have protected me from that decision, my sister tried.

02:56:15.000 My sister was like, nah, I don't think that's the way to go. 0.70

02:56:21.000 Sometimes you got to learn for yourself.

02:56:23.000 And so I think even when I'm a child and I'm walking through life as a child and I'm making a lot of bad decisions that I know that Now, I would never want my child to go through,

02:56:39.000 hey man, let me give you a lot more.

02:56:41.000 I just want to build a confidence up in children that they will...

02:56:47.000 Not succumb to these outside forces that's pulling you towards things that's contrary to your moral standings on things.

02:56:57.000 It's hard for people because they get to school and there's so many people that want you to believe a certain way.

02:57:04.000 I've talked to kids that told me, and these are like 12-year-old kids, that they were getting bullied at school because they weren't vaccinated.

02:57:11.000 And other kids were vaccinated.

02:57:13.000 And I'm like, what 12-year-old understands the ramifications of getting vaccinated for something that they have zero fear of getting sick and hospitalized for?

02:57:21.000 Somebody said it to them.

02:57:23.000 Unless you're obese, unless there's something wrong with you, unless you're immunocompromised, the hard science.

02:57:30.000 On COVID is young children that are healthy children are rarely hospitalized.

02:57:35.000 Very, very, very rarely.

02:57:37.000 Far more vulnerable to the flu.

02:57:40.000 My kids had it.

02:57:41.000 The flu or COVID? No, the COVID. Mine too.

02:57:43.000 My kids had it and we tried to isolate them.

02:57:47.000 From my daughter who has allergies.

02:57:50.000 And we would wake up in the middle of the night, she in the bed with her sister and her brother that both had COVID. We was trying to keep you safe.

02:57:58.000 And she was like, nope, need to be with my family.

02:58:01.000 And she never caught it.

02:58:03.000 And they had it.

02:58:05.000 And my kids are fine.

02:58:07.000 My kids both got it, and they were fine.

02:58:10.000 They got over it easy.

02:58:11.000 One kid just got a headache, the other kid felt like she had a little bit of a cold for a day.

02:58:18.000 It's...

02:58:18.000 It was one of those things, though, where the heightened fear, and they were pushing it so hard.

02:58:24.000 The difference between the way they felt about it here versus the way they felt about it in L.A. L.A., they're still scared.

02:58:30.000 They're still wearing masks everywhere.

02:58:31.000 I mean, it's so different. 0.99

02:58:33.000 Out here, no one gave a fuck. 0.96

02:58:35.000 And that's one of the reasons why my kids wanted to move here. 0.95

02:58:38.000 We came out here in May of 2020, and my kids were like, Mommy, I want to move here.

02:58:43.000 Come on, Daddy, let's live here. 0.87

02:58:44.000 I'm like... 0.99

02:58:45.000 I'll fucking move here. 0.99

02:58:47.000 And I told my wife, I will fucking move here. 0.99

02:58:48.000 I do not like where LA's going. 0.99

02:58:51.000 That fear is hard to shake off. 1.00

02:58:53.000 That shit sticks like tar. 1.00

02:58:55.000 It's just stuck to people out there. 1.00

02:58:57.000 And LA, New York, people are all up on top of each other.

02:59:00.000 Texas, people a little more spread it out.

02:59:02.000 And he's like, yo, man, I don't even see that many people. 0.99

02:59:06.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.98

02:59:06.000 I'm not just... 0.98

02:59:07.000 And I think that with...

02:59:13.000 People are so quick to give somebody a phobia.

02:59:16.000 Yeah.

02:59:17.000 Or diagnose somebody.

02:59:19.000 Yeah.

02:59:19.000 Because I like things in order.

02:59:21.000 Oh, you OCD. I just like things in order.

02:59:23.000 Maybe I just like balance. 1.00

02:59:25.000 Yeah, you have ADHD because you can't pay attention to boring shit. 1.00

02:59:30.000 That's what it is, man. 1.00

02:59:32.000 I don't want to watch some weird-ass TED Talk.

02:59:37.000 How many kids are getting medicated because they're bored in school? 0.94

02:59:41.000 A lot.

02:59:43.000 I'll never forget My daughter.

02:59:45.000 Like, I remember homeschool had a phobia of, like, people, your kid's not gonna be socialized.

02:59:52.000 Your kid is gonna be this girl. 0.99

02:59:54.000 Homeschool is way better.

02:59:55.000 I remember my daughter, my oldest daughter, Jaden, she's a chef at James Harden Restaurant 13. She was in school and the teacher said that she was being disruptive in class.

03:00:10.000 And I went And I just snuck and looked to see what she was doing. 0.63

03:00:18.000 She was in kindergarten and she had already been...

03:00:24.000 My daughter was reading at three. 0.99

03:00:27.000 So now you're in there doing colors and numbers and she's in the back doing shit like this. 0.97

03:00:33.000 They're like, what color is this? 0.97

03:00:34.000 Blue.

03:00:35.000 And she in the back, B-L-U-E, blue. 1.00

03:00:38.000 What the fuck are we doing, man? 1.00

03:00:40.000 She's born. 1.00

03:00:42.000 She's advanced.

03:00:43.000 It's like her and this other guy, I know his mom, they moved him to this school, Longfellow, that had a gifted and talented program.

03:00:52.000 They both went gifted and talented all through elementary, all through middle school, all through high school.

03:01:01.000 Never was bored in class because they were being stimulated.

03:01:06.000 Stimulated, yes. 0.99

03:01:06.000 And you got a lot of shit to do, so I think that that's a part of it as well. 0.99

03:01:11.000 This kid don't have ADHD. This kid is bored at this goddamn bullshit-ass curriculum that you have. 1.00

03:01:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:01:18.000 They're like, you're teaching me goddamn... 1.00

03:01:20.000 And non-interested teachers, too. 0.99

03:01:22.000 Oh, man, non-interested teachers, man. 1.00

03:01:24.000 This shit just bothers me. 1.00

03:01:25.000 And I say this, and I know teachers get upset. 1.00

03:01:28.000 Every time I say this, I get backlash, but when people get upset about things, you have to think about it.

03:01:35.000 I've seen teachers walk out for more pay, maybe twice.

03:01:41.000 We walk, they get us on strike for more pay, maybe more times than that.

03:01:46.000 I'm just going on times that I just currently can think of.

03:01:51.000 But they never walk out for a better curriculum for children.

03:01:56.000 Like they say, the school system is not this, not that, and it is not challenging, but you never walk out for a better curriculum.

03:02:04.000 They can't get it together on the same page.

03:02:06.000 We want to teach these kids and really teach these kids, the United States kids, to be in the upper echelon of intelligent children and intelligent people in the world.

03:02:17.000 I wonder where we rank at right now Where does the United States rank in education?

03:02:27.000 It's pretty low.

03:02:28.000 Let's guess.

03:02:30.000 36. I'll say 30. I bet we're lower than that.

03:02:40.000 So why not adopt?

03:02:43.000 Why be so arrogant not to adopt somebody else's?

03:02:46.000 Who's number one?

03:02:48.000 Let's adopt that curriculum and put that curriculum and put that attitude in. 1.00

03:02:53.000 Your kids go to school and eat what type of fucking food? 0.99

03:02:57.000 Do they have a five star chef back there giving nutritious food to the children? 1.00

03:03:03.000 One of the things about my son when he went to school, he complained about the bathroom being filthy and not having enough time to eat. 1.00

03:03:12.000 And he was done with the shit. 0.99

03:03:13.000 He went to school for three months and then that was it. 1.00

03:03:16.000 He's never been back. 1.00

03:03:17.000 He was done with the shit. 1.00

03:03:19.000 It's a kid that knows the quality of education. 1.00

03:03:22.000 It's like, yo, I can't even borrow when I'm doing math. 1.00

03:03:25.000 What the fuck is this? 0.99

03:03:27.000 You taught me how to borrow. 1.00

03:03:28.000 And I'm a math fucking magician. 0.99

03:03:30.000 I was a street farmer school rep. 1.00

03:03:31.000 I know math. 1.00

03:03:32.000 I know both fucking systems. 1.00

03:03:36.000 What's the number? 1.00

03:03:39.000 Honestly?

03:03:39.000 World ranking.

03:03:40.000 When you type it in, it says we're number one.

03:03:43.000 So the first three articles I find say we're number one.

03:03:46.000 And then they start seeing articles that say U.S. shows they're falling behind the world.

03:03:49.000 And I'm like, all right, well, who is deciding?

03:03:52.000 Oh, so now New Zealand is not number one no more.

03:03:54.000 So like the one that says we're number one comes from the U.S. News and World Report, BAV Group and the Wharton Schools.

03:04:02.000 When was that?

03:04:03.000 This is 2022 or 2020. And I got one that says they took comparing test scores.

03:04:11.000 Rankings falling behind the rest of the world.

03:04:13.000 2022, they give some tests to 15-year-olds, and according to that test, we're 11th out of 79 countries in science.

03:04:21.000 Much worse in ranking, ranking 30th.

03:04:25.000 But, like I said, when you type in here, like, United States, number one, education rankings by country.

03:04:31.000 I don't know, like, who's putting this together.

03:04:34.000 Probably the education group of the United States of America.

03:04:38.000 I've got to wrap this up.

03:04:39.000 It's already 4 o'clock.

03:04:41.000 Ali, tell everybody how to get a hold of you.

03:04:44.000 Social media, your special's available right now.

03:04:47.000 Right now.

03:04:47.000 It's on YouTube.

03:04:47.000 It's excellent.

03:04:49.000 The domino effect.

03:04:50.000 And what your social media is?

03:04:53.000 Okay.

03:04:53.000 Gotcha.

03:04:54.000 Hey, it's Ali Sadiq.

03:04:56.000 You can go to AliSadiq.com and watch the special.

03:04:58.000 It'll take you straight to YouTube, but you can type in YouTube, Ali Sadiq, S-I-D-D-I-Q. On Instagram, it's Ali Sadiq.

03:05:05.000 On Facebook, it's Ali Sadiq.

03:05:07.000 And on Twitter, it's Ali underscore Speaks.

03:05:10.000 You can find me at all those spots, man.

03:05:12.000 Watch the special, share the special. 0.98

03:05:14.000 It's a fucking great special. 0.98

03:05:16.000 It's nice to be able to say that, right? 0.99

03:05:18.000 Yeah.

03:05:18.000 And it's available for everybody.

03:05:20.000 Free on YouTube.

03:05:21.000 All right.

03:05:21.000 Thank you.

03:05:22.000 Thank you.

03:05:22.000 Bye, everybody.

03:05:24.000 We're good.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 27, 2022

Joe Rogan Experience #1825 - Ali Siddiq

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript