The Joe Rogan Experience - May 20, 2014


Joe Rogan Experience #503 - Sam Tripoli

Topics
Squarespace alpha brain Onnit supplements and their benefits booking comics self-doubt HIV and potential cure funding vaccines Cirque du Soleil feral cats Toxoplasmosis climate change dumping iron in the ocean deforestation cow farts methane impact environment GM safety recall and penalties They Knew and Failed To white privilege satire and Native American mascots fat jokes Gerard Carmichael's HBO special high and performance enhancement slave beauty and love life blackface
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Sam Tripoli
Mentioned
Powerful Sam Tripoli Stephen Colbert Brian Redman Seth Rogen Leslie Jones Jamie Kilstein Hugh Jackman Mattis Yahoo Neil Patrick Harris Jesus Christ Dan Snyder John Jock Dane Cook Macklemore Kellogg David Letterman Jason Lincolns Eddie Murphy Brian Regan Rob Halford and 106 more
Joe Rogan Experience #502 - Dr. Rhonda Patrick Joe Rogan Experience #504 - Steve Maxwell

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 55 minutes

Words per minute

190.88

Word count

33,518

Sentence count

4,011

Harmful content

Misogyny

157

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,146

sentences flagged

Hate speech

157

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of The Naughty Show, the boys are joined by their good friend Brian Redman to discuss a variety of topics, including: 1. How to be a better computer programmer, 2. Why you should hire a computer genius, and 3. How much money should you pay a computer geek? 4. What's the worst thing you can do with a computer you don't know how to use, and why you should pay someone who knows how to do it? And so much more! Don't miss it! Hosted by , , and . This episode is brought to you by Squarespace and Onnit. Use the code "JOE" for a FREE trial and 10% off your first purchase. Go to squarespace.org/joe and use the code: JOE for a free trial and a 10% discount. Go there and also check out the logo creator so you can make a clean and simple logo design for yourself in minutes. Onnit is a website that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website. The average person can be the Joe Rogans of the world. This is a site where you can buy shit that we call a human optimization website that does shit like Alpha Brain, which does work like that, like Prove it, which works like a human brain, which is what we call Prove It! It's a website where we sell shit like that. We're also also bring you everything you need to make things that we sell like that we can make shit like a Human Optimized by Onnit, which we sell on the internet. And we also make things like that works like that too. What do you do better than that? We don't even have to pay for it? We can make it like that? We'll give you a $10% more than $5,000, we'll make it better than the average person does it, right here, we're gonna make you better than you do it, so you get 10% more like that in a day, we can do it better like that you pay us that way more than that, and we'll get a better experience like that! We'll make you a better day, you'll get it, we know you'll be better at it, you're not gonna get the same thing, right there, right? That's a deal!

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:05.000 Suck upon it. 1.00
00:00:07.000 This episode of The Podcast. 0.99
00:00:09.000 See?
00:00:10.000 Didn't say it.
00:00:11.000 Already took my alpha brain.
00:00:13.000 I'm Brody Stevens.
00:00:15.000 I took on the Brody Stevens cadence.
00:00:18.000 A lot of people do.
00:00:18.000 Already took my alpha brain.
00:00:21.000 818. I need to hang around him more.
00:00:23.000 I used to be able to do a good Brody imitation, but... 0.92
00:00:25.000 It's gotten very generic now.
00:00:28.000 I've lost the tone.
00:00:29.000 You know, I still have Joe Diaz in my arsenal, but I've lost the Brody tone.
00:00:33.000 I need to be around him.
00:00:34.000 I need to see him.
00:00:34.000 I need to feel him.
00:00:35.000 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.
00:00:39.000 And Squarespace is the all-in-one platform that makes it fast and easy to create your own professional website.
00:00:45.000 Yes, you!
00:00:46.000 The average person.
00:00:47.000 The Sam Triplies of the world. 1.00
00:00:48.000 The Joe Rogans of the world.
00:00:49.000 Brian Redman is far more computer savvy than us.
00:00:51.000 He can actually create a real website.
00:00:54.000 He knows code.
00:00:55.000 We are not capable of that.
00:00:56.000 I'm sure Jamie can do that as well.
00:00:58.000 Me?
00:00:59.000 Not so much.
00:01:00.000 I'll show you how to throw a sidekick. 0.85
00:01:02.000 I can't do nothing.
00:01:03.000 I can't even do sidekicks.
00:01:05.000 But you can do Squarespace, Sam Tripoli!
00:01:08.000 Really? 1.00
00:01:09.000 You can set up a fucking online store, son. 1.00
00:01:12.000 I have faith in you. 0.99
00:01:13.000 And it's all done...
00:01:15.000 Through a simple, easy drop and drag interface, just like if you were attaching an email to your Facebook page or a picture.
00:01:22.000 You know, cutting and pasting an email, posting a picture, posting a video.
00:01:27.000 You know how to do that on Twitter. 0.99
00:01:28.000 If you can do that, you can make your own fucking website. 0.99
00:01:31.000 And it can be awesome. 1.00
00:01:33.000 It can be awesome with...
00:01:35.000 A full online store, Sam Tripoli.
00:01:37.000 Oh my god. 0.99
00:01:38.000 You can sell copies online of your new CD that came out motherfucking today. 0.99
00:01:43.000 Bam! 0.99
00:01:43.000 Sam Tripoli. 0.99
00:01:45.000 What's it called?
00:01:46.000 Believe in Yourself?
00:01:47.000 I like that message.
00:01:48.000 This message can all be relayed through Squarespace.com.
00:01:52.000 And if you go to Squarespace.com, they have 24-7 support.
00:01:59.000 24-7.
00:02:00.000 24-7 support.
00:02:02.000 And as I said, simple drag-and-drop interface and websites that work on everything.
00:02:06.000 It'll work on your iPad.
00:02:07.000 It'll work on... 0.99
00:02:09.000 A Android device, an Android tablet, it'll work on Unix if you're one of those fucking weirdos who insists on Unix. 0.97
00:02:16.000 By the way, we need you. 0.97
00:02:17.000 We need you on our team.
00:02:18.000 We need Unix?
00:02:19.000 All the people that are those coder guys, we're so glad when they're not evil. 0.99
00:02:23.000 I mean, think about it, like the coder guys that bring down shit, find out fucking creepy shit that people have been up to. 1.00
00:02:30.000 100%. 0.99
00:02:31.000 Totally, we need them out there fighting our fights.
00:02:33.000 The dictators in check, whether it's foreign and abroad, the people suppressing the masses. 0.99
00:02:38.000 We need those motherfuckers that understand eunuchs. 1.00
00:02:41.000 Because those evil military dudes, they don't They're up to no good. 1.00
00:02:44.000 We need the rebel forces.
00:02:46.000 They don't know Unix.
00:02:48.000 Anyway, go to squarespace.com and use the code word JOE for a free trial and 10% off your first purchase.
00:02:58.000 Go there and also check out the logo creator.
00:03:02.000 Squarespace has it so you can make a clean and simple logo design for yourself in minutes.
00:03:06.000 I think we need a Naughty Show logo.
00:03:10.000 Brian, can you create a Naughty Show logo while I do the Onyx commercial?
00:03:13.000 All right, well, Brian's going to do that just to show you how...
00:03:16.000 Can you make a punch drunk sports one? 1.00
00:03:18.000 Fuck yeah, he could do that too. 1.00
00:03:20.000 Well, you should probably pay him now because now you're fucking putting in requests and trying to get him to work. 1.00
00:03:25.000 Anyway, squarespace.com. 0.74
00:03:27.000 Use the code word Joe. 0.99
00:03:28.000 Save yourself some motherfucking money. 0.99
00:03:33.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:03:34.000 Yeah.
00:03:35.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com. 0.98
00:03:37.000 That is O-N-N-I-T. Onnit is a website where you can buy shit that can make things better. 0.98
00:03:43.000 What do I mean by that? 0.99
00:03:45.000 What Onnit is is what we call a human optimization website. 0.98
00:03:49.000 And what we sell is shit like Alpha Brain, which does work. 0.98
00:03:54.000 Prove it, Joe. 0.99
00:03:55.000 I took one.
00:03:56.000 I took four.
00:03:57.000 I take four. 1.00
00:03:58.000 I'm fucking crazy. 0.99
00:03:59.000 I'm an excessive person. 1.00
00:03:59.000 Because you've got a brain. 1.00
00:04:00.000 You've got a big brain.
00:04:01.000 I feel like there's nothing in there toxic. 1.00
00:04:03.000 I'm going to let this bitch ride. 1.00
00:04:04.000 What are you afraid of? 1.00
00:04:05.000 Not afraid of much.
00:04:07.000 But I'm definitely not afraid of taking four alpha brains for a show.
00:04:10.000 What is alpha brain? 0.99
00:04:11.000 Alpha brain is a nootropic.
00:04:12.000 And if you don't know what nootropic is, I suggest you Google it.
00:04:15.000 Google all the people that say that vitamins don't work.
00:04:17.000 Google all the people that say nootropics do work.
00:04:22.000 Vitamins, nootropics, nutrition.
00:04:24.000 There's so many contradicting opinions when it comes to...
00:04:31.000 I am no expert.
00:04:33.000 I have talked to a fuckload of experts, though, and we've been very fortunate to have some experts on the podcast, experts like Dr. Rhonda Patrick, experts that actually understand nutrition.
00:04:45.000 It's a very complicated thing, and there's a lot of, like, you'll read on one website, this is going to kill you, and then another website, this is essential.
00:04:52.000 One website says, this prevents cancer.
00:04:56.000 Believe in Yourself logos being created right now while we're doing this.
00:05:02.000 Hotmails?
00:05:04.000 Yeah, it's the black hotmail. 0.89
00:05:07.000 Anyway, Onnit.com, we sell all sorts of various supplements as well as strength and conditioning equipment. 0.98
00:05:15.000 All sorts of shit that you can use to benefit your life. 0.61
00:05:18.000 Our idea behind doing this show is, what's the stuff that I use that I feel makes my life work better? 0.99
00:05:26.000 Like, what's the things that make my body work better?
00:05:28.000 What's the things that make my mind work better?
00:05:30.000 And Aubrey and I have sort of a similar idea about that.
00:05:34.000 A similar opinion.
00:05:36.000 You know, both of us are fascinated by the latest trends in strength and conditioning.
00:05:41.000 Both of us...
00:05:42.000 This is distracting me.
00:05:43.000 All right.
00:05:45.000 What do the people see right now?
00:05:48.000 They were watching me make a logo, yeah. 1.00
00:05:49.000 Okay, that is not a fucking commercial, jackass. 1.00
00:05:52.000 You confusing fuck. 1.00
00:05:54.000 That's the problem, bro. 1.00
00:05:56.000 You distract me.
00:05:57.000 You can't distract me.
00:05:58.000 There's just no way for me to do a logo at the same time.
00:06:01.000 No, don't do it.
00:06:02.000 Just leave Onnit.com.
00:06:04.000 Just leave this little thing scrolling. 0.99
00:06:05.000 Can't you do all that shit off screen? 0.99
00:06:07.000 Is that possible? 1.00
00:06:08.000 It's not?
00:06:09.000 It has to...
00:06:09.000 Oh.
00:06:10.000 Well.
00:06:11.000 Punch drunk's gonna have to wait.
00:06:12.000 That's fine.
00:06:14.000 I'm good with that.
00:06:16.000 Onnit.com.
00:06:17.000 Go.
00:06:18.000 Go there.
00:06:18.000 O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGUE and save 10% off any and all supplements.
00:06:22.000 Everything is explained there far better than I can explain to you. 0.83
00:06:25.000 But one thing I will say is that Onnit has a 100% 30 pill, 90 day money back guarantee on all the controversial shit like Shroom Tech Sport or Alpha Brain.
00:06:35.000 Reason being is people are justifiably skeptical about things that claim to enhance cognitive function or things that claim to give you more endurance.
00:06:44.000 You should be skeptical. 0.99
00:06:45.000 There's a lot of bunk shit out there. 0.98
00:06:47.000 What we at Onnit have done is taken what we believe is the best body of research that explains these supplements, put it up under research, And we've also done our own tests, our own tests on AlphaBrain and ongoing other tests on the other various supplements that we have. 0.99
00:07:04.000 But all of them are backed by science, and that science is all researched with references, all under the research tab, whether it's for AlphaBrain or for any of the other supplements. 0.72
00:07:16.000 If you don't think they work and you try them, just say this is bullshit and you get your money back. 0.87
00:07:22.000 It's that simple. 0.98
00:07:23.000 You don't even have to return the product.
00:07:24.000 No one's trying to rip you off. 1.00
00:07:25.000 I'm just trying to sell you shit that I use. 0.99
00:07:28.000 Your body is made out of food and vitamins are in food and we've isolated certain, not we, obviously not me, I'm retarded, but they have isolated certain things in vitamins that can enhance various parts of your life, whether it's your endurance or whether it's cognitive function. 0.98
00:07:46.000 All of it, again, explained at Onnit, O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGEN and save 10% off any and all supplements.
00:07:53.000 Oh, that's it.
00:07:54.000 Wow!
00:07:54.000 That's a website.
00:07:57.000 It's an amazingly designed website.
00:07:58.000 Yeah, it's pretty nice.
00:07:59.000 Well, it's cool when you scroll down, it moves.
00:08:02.000 Yeah.
00:08:02.000 But what's really dope is that it's all made in-house.
00:08:05.000 The Onnit people that work in the actual studio itself, Aubrey's put together this amazing crew of talented people.
00:08:13.000 It's pretty badass.
00:08:14.000 Oh, it's like one of the best company websites ever.
00:08:16.000 They're amazing. 0.98
00:08:17.000 These guys kick ass. 0.98
00:08:18.000 They're creative, too. 0.98
00:08:19.000 It's cool.
00:08:19.000 Yeah, it's pretty cool.
00:08:21.000 Yeah, it's really dope.
00:08:22.000 Anyway, Onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T. That's it. 1.00
00:08:26.000 Sam Tripoli is here.
00:08:29.000 Hello!
00:08:30.000 Brian doesn't know how to press play.
00:08:36.000 He figured it out.
00:08:46.000 Powerful Sam Tripoli.
00:08:47.000 Boom.
00:08:48.000 Back in the saddle.
00:08:50.000 Powerful Sam Tripoli with a brand new comedy CD. I brought one for you.
00:08:55.000 I know some people don't even have CD players anymore, but I brought it for you.
00:09:00.000 This artwork by my buddy.
00:09:02.000 And it's called You Can Do This?
00:09:04.000 It's called Believe in Yourself.
00:09:05.000 It was either that... 0.76
00:09:07.000 It's either that or I was going to call it Shady Shit, but I didn't think iTunes would let me put that up. 0.96
00:09:12.000 Believe in Yourself is good. 0.94
00:09:14.000 It's funny.
00:09:15.000 Well, if you listen to the album, you get why I call it that, so it's fun.
00:09:19.000 Well, I know your material, so I would agree with that thematically.
00:09:23.000 It's good.
00:09:24.000 It's sort of a fun, having fun with it.
00:09:27.000 Yeah.
00:09:27.000 It just goes against the grain.
00:09:30.000 The feedback, people have already listened to it, really love it, and I'm...
00:09:33.000 I hadn't put on a CD for a while, so I was really excited to put this whole group of Hour of Power together.
00:09:40.000 And I did it at the Edmonton Comedy Strip, which is one of my favorite clubs to play.
00:09:46.000 Because it's literally the only club where I got off stage and two separate times the owners, one Tammy and one Rick Bronson, would pull me aside and literally go, dude...
00:09:57.000 Can you work dirtier?
00:09:58.000 And I go, what?
00:09:59.000 They go, we would really like you to work dirtier. 0.95
00:10:01.000 And I'm like, are you crazy? 0.99
00:10:03.000 That's so ridiculous. 1.00
00:10:04.000 So then I go up and say, I'm just getting filthy for the sake of getting filthy. 0.68
00:10:08.000 But it's one of Gray's clubs, and I said, you know, this would be a great place to do a CD, so I decided to do it there. 0.54
00:10:13.000 There are maniacs up there. 0.84
00:10:15.000 Edmonton's crazy. 1.00
00:10:16.000 Well, they're living in a place, you know, it gets 50 fucking below zero in the winter there. 0.99
00:10:20.000 Those are hardy folk.
00:10:21.000 And everyone's got cash, because they're fracking.
00:10:23.000 Oh yeah, they're all fracking up there.
00:10:26.000 Their unemployment is like.0001%.
00:10:30.000 They're giving like 12-year-olds jobs because there's not enough people to go around for all the jobs.
00:10:37.000 Well, it's interesting too because people that live in that kind of an environment, if you could survive that kind of a winter... 0.96
00:10:43.000 And you stay, job or no job, if you don't fucking plot and escape, like, you're a different kind of breed. 0.99
00:10:49.000 Yeah, it's blue collar with money, which is a dangerous situation. 0.96
00:10:53.000 Well, it's blue collar with money, but it's also people with, like, a certain level of character.
00:10:59.000 Like, you have to to get through the winter. 1.00
00:11:01.000 You can't be too much of a fuck-off. 1.00
00:11:03.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:11:03.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:11:04.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:11:04.000 Like, when shit gets 50 below, you gotta be on your goddamn toes! 1.00
00:11:08.000 You gotta be on your game! 1.00
00:11:09.000 Like, if you are a real case... 1.00
00:11:12.000 Fuck up. 1.00
00:11:12.000 The kind of guy who like winds up falling asleep in parking lots all the time. 1.00
00:11:16.000 The security guard finds you at 9 a.m. 0.54
00:11:19.000 You die!
00:11:20.000 That chick that happened to some... 1.00
00:11:21.000 I don't know where it was, somewhere in the Northeast.
00:11:23.000 She passed out on her doorstep. 0.96
00:11:27.000 And then she woke up and like half her body had all frostbites and they were gonna have to amputate shit because she had passed out on her... 0.98
00:11:35.000 Who just walked? 0.99
00:11:37.000 And somebody had to walk by going, I think that girl is dead. 0.95
00:11:39.000 Nobody says anything.
00:11:41.000 She was only 19 also.
00:11:42.000 She was a college student.
00:11:43.000 Oh, that's awful.
00:11:44.000 It's booze, man.
00:11:45.000 Especially when you're 19. When you're 19, you don't know how to drink yet.
00:11:50.000 You can go way too deep.
00:11:52.000 Forget the frostbite.
00:11:54.000 She was probably on death's door. 1.00
00:11:57.000 So how fucked up is her body? 1.00
00:11:59.000 And she's hot, too. 1.00
00:12:00.000 How fucked up is her body? 1.00
00:12:01.000 That makes it even worse. 1.00
00:12:03.000 Well, scroll up.
00:12:04.000 What does it say?
00:12:05.000 What's the story?
00:12:08.000 Hey, this isn't as good as...
00:12:09.000 Maylou's limbs. 0.99
00:12:10.000 Oh, God damn it. 0.99
00:12:12.000 Her hands were three times the size with her skin split from palm to finger. 0.99
00:12:16.000 Oh, my God.
00:12:17.000 Oh! 0.60
00:12:18.000 They spent the night playing drinking games with friends during which she lost several rounds...
00:12:21.000 Who just drops the chick off like that? 1.00
00:12:22.000 ...and downed at least ten tequila shots.
00:12:24.000 Tweeted earlier that day, tequila shots tonight.
00:12:27.000 Yup.
00:12:27.000 Oh, my God.
00:12:29.000 That's awful.
00:12:30.000 Joe, do you remember a guy named Fast Eddie that used to hang out at the comedy store?
00:12:33.000 The Fat Mexican? 0.95
00:12:35.000 He was called Fast Eddie.
00:12:36.000 He's there all the time.
00:12:37.000 He was there for his birthday one time.
00:12:39.000 Wait, was he a comedian?
00:12:40.000 No, he was just one of the guys, a really nice dude who hangs out.
00:12:43.000 He used to hang out on the patio.
00:12:44.000 Would I know him?
00:12:45.000 Yeah.
00:12:45.000 How many years did he start to hang out there?
00:12:47.000 Forever.
00:12:48.000 Okay, I probably know him now.
00:12:49.000 Forever.
00:12:51.000 And it was his birthday, and everyone's buying him shots, and we're driving around, and I mean, he is God.
00:12:57.000 He's like, drop me off at the club!
00:13:01.000 It's a guy who's like, yeah, we'll drop you off. 1.00
00:13:03.000 We'll just throw you out of the car and you might die in a dumpster. 0.75
00:13:06.000 But if it's a chick, nobody lets that happen. 0.99
00:13:09.000 Everyone's like, no, come on.
00:13:11.000 You're too drunk.
00:13:12.000 That's not true, depending on what kind of chick it is. 1.00
00:13:14.000 If it's a giant, mouthy chick who likes to fight, dudes will kick that bitch out of the car and hit the gas. 1.00
00:13:20.000 Get your ass kicked? 1.00
00:13:21.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:13:22.000 I mean, only bad people would kick anyone out of the car in the fucking winter. 0.99
00:13:26.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:13:27.000 Oh, you have to be a really bad person.
00:13:29.000 But a guy, you're like, okay, good luck. 1.00
00:13:30.000 Or, that guy's a total piece of shit. 1.00
00:13:32.000 He's some loud-mouthed dude who wants to fight cops. 1.00
00:13:35.000 You're driving by on a road, and we're like, fuck you, pig! 1.00
00:13:38.000 You're like, put the fucking window down, dude! 1.00
00:13:40.000 What are you doing? 1.00
00:13:41.000 We were driving, and I just heard my window go down.
00:13:44.000 I go, what's up, Eddie?
00:13:44.000 He's like...
00:13:45.000 And he just all down the side of my window, which is nice.
00:13:49.000 He got outside the car and didn't just fill up my backseat with Mexican vomit. 1.00
00:13:56.000 Have you ever hung out with a dude who doesn't have a whole lot of friends, but he seems like a cool guy?
00:14:00.000 And you're like, man, this guy's pretty cool.
00:14:02.000 You know, I wonder why nobody's hanging around with this guy.
00:14:04.000 Come hang out with us. 0.70
00:14:05.000 And then the dude gets drunk and just becomes a maniac. 1.00
00:14:09.000 Fuck you to the bouncers and fucking... 1.00
00:14:12.000 I mean, there are dudes like that. 1.00
00:14:14.000 That get just...
00:14:15.000 Jekyll and Hyde.
00:14:16.000 I used to be way back in the day.
00:14:19.000 You used to be? 0.97
00:14:19.000 You used to be a crazy... 0.97
00:14:20.000 How do you know you were Jekyll and Hyde? 0.99
00:14:22.000 Because I knew I'd just get drunk and I was just like...
00:14:25.000 But did you feel you becoming Jekyll and Hyde?
00:14:28.000 Yeah.
00:14:29.000 But you would do it again.
00:14:30.000 You know, that's why I don't really drink that much.
00:14:33.000 I don't even drink at all, actually.
00:14:35.000 But back then, when you would do it, you would like, okay, here it comes.
00:14:38.000 Taking my medicine.
00:14:39.000 I used to warn people, sometimes I get a little crazy.
00:14:42.000 Oh, no.
00:14:43.000 I've been around you. 0.75
00:14:44.000 You were a drunk dude.
00:14:45.000 I'm going to be honest with you.
00:14:46.000 I don't think you're a Jekyll and Hyde guy.
00:14:50.000 You're a minor.
00:14:50.000 I'm an old lion now.
00:14:52.000 Well, no, no, no.
00:14:53.000 I've been around you and you're drunk. 1.00
00:14:54.000 How long have I fucking known you? 0.99
00:14:56.000 At least 10 years. 0.99
00:14:58.000 Probably like 13. I got picked up at the comedy store just around 2000. So during that time, we have all seen each other In a state of, if somebody wanted to have sex with us, it would technically be rape.
00:15:12.000 They'd be raping us. 0.96
00:15:14.000 We've all been in that state. 0.99
00:15:16.000 We've all seen each other in that state.
00:15:17.000 Can't rape to willing, though. 1.00
00:15:18.000 But you can, according to, there's a lot of people that are actually arguing this. 0.99
00:15:23.000 So you can rape guys? 1.00
00:15:24.000 Yes. 1.00
00:15:25.000 They have to say it about guys because you're saying it about women. 1.00
00:15:28.000 Obviously, they recognize that there's a real issue with that when it comes to being contradictory and being hypocritical. 0.96
00:15:36.000 If you start saying that if a man has sex with a woman who's had a few drinks, that's rape. 0.96
00:15:40.000 Well, you have to also conversely say that if a woman has sex with a man who's had a few drinks, that's rape. 1.00
00:15:46.000 And if you're both drunk, you're raping the shit out of each other. 1.00
00:15:49.000 That is the weird thing, dude. 0.99
00:15:51.000 It's a double illegal act.
00:15:55.000 Technically, she did rape him, but it's not the same thing.
00:16:02.000 It's not technical at all.
00:16:03.000 It's not technical at all because she didn't rape him. 0.98
00:16:05.000 She had sex with a drunk guy. 0.96
00:16:07.000 And we all know what that is. 1.00
00:16:08.000 And we add all these goddamn extra layers. 0.96
00:16:10.000 It doesn't change the actual act of what it is. 0.99
00:16:13.000 The real problem with defining all these things is this is rape and that is rape and this is privilege and that is...
00:16:18.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:16:19.000 Those are all just labels.
00:16:21.000 You're putting labels on things that we know exactly what they are.
00:16:24.000 If a school teacher blows a 14-year-old, it's not rape. 1.00
00:16:29.000 I totally agree with you on that.
00:16:31.000 And here's the thing.
00:16:33.000 If she's gross, it's an issue. 1.00
00:16:34.000 If she's hot, it's not at all. 0.94
00:16:36.000 And we all know that to be a fact. 0.98
00:16:38.000 We all know that if a chick who looks like Tara Patrick winds up blowing some 17-year-old kid, that's not a goddamn crime. 1.00
00:16:46.000 I mean, yeah, it's going to fuck that kid's head up, but it's not a goddamn crime. 0.99
00:16:50.000 Nah, in a bad way, though. 1.00
00:16:51.000 What dude's like, oh my god, Tara Patrick just sucked my dick. 1.00
00:16:54.000 How is it rape? 1.00
00:16:55.000 I just, by high-fiving people.
00:16:56.000 How is it rape? 1.00
00:16:57.000 No, I agree with you on that one, but we live in a country where it's like you can't technically have different laws for different people, right?
00:17:04.000 We have to apply it.
00:17:06.000 I agree with everything you're saying.
00:17:07.000 It's good, though. 0.96
00:17:08.000 It's good that people are that hypocritical because it exposes it. 0.97
00:17:12.000 A subject like this, which becomes so preposterous when you start talking about it, exposes how crazy it is. 1.00
00:17:18.000 There are people, men and women, that like to get drunk and fuck. 0.99
00:17:22.000 If you engage them in that activity, you don't automatically become a rapist. 1.00
00:17:26.000 Yeah.
00:17:27.000 There is a level that you get to that gets rapey.
00:17:30.000 Yeah, there is.
00:17:31.000 And we all know this.
00:17:32.000 Yes.
00:17:33.000 Label it all you want.
00:17:34.000 We all know there's something wrong. 1.00
00:17:36.000 If someone's really fucked up and blacked out and you say, fuck it. 1.00
00:17:40.000 And you have sex with them anyway. 1.00
00:17:42.000 That's crazy. 1.00
00:17:43.000 That's fucked up. 1.00
00:17:45.000 It's awful. 1.00
00:17:46.000 There's also women that you've met that are so conniving that could probably rape. 1.00
00:17:50.000 Like, hey, I want to have a Joe Rogan baby. 1.00
00:17:52.000 And gets you drunk to the point where you fuck them and come at them. 1.00
00:17:55.000 You forget to wear a condom. 1.00
00:17:57.000 Yeah, that's totally possible.
00:17:59.000 But again, pro-athletes have to take the condom. 0.91
00:18:02.000 They have to grab the condom, take it, put it in the toilet and flush it. 0.99
00:18:07.000 Because these women will take that condom and squirt that baby. 1.00
00:18:11.000 And the thought of just having a baby for the...
00:18:15.000 For the sake of making money?
00:18:17.000 The fact that that's acceptable?
00:18:19.000 Well, it's not just that. 0.91
00:18:21.000 It's definitely that, but I think there's also part of it is having a baby with a guy who ordinarily doesn't want anything more than sex from you. 0.94
00:18:29.000 Yeah. 0.61
00:18:29.000 Now you connect with him. 0.61
00:18:30.000 Yeah.
00:18:30.000 So there's those options.
00:18:33.000 There's someone who just wants a baby. 0.83
00:18:35.000 Yeah.
00:18:35.000 There's some people that just want a baby.
00:18:37.000 There's girls that just like, God damn it, I want a baby. 1.00
00:18:39.000 I don't give a fuck if this guy wants a baby or not. 1.00
00:18:40.000 I want a baby. 1.00
00:18:43.000 You're obviously not supposed to do that.
00:18:45.000 You should probably tell the guy.
00:18:46.000 You could probably find a guy who's willing to just give you a baby. 0.63
00:18:49.000 But then it comes back and then there's all that legal stuff.
00:18:52.000 Well, there was legal stuff with a guy who got...
00:18:55.000 He was a sperm donor.
00:18:58.000 He gave sperm to these people.
00:18:59.000 They had a kid and then he got sued for child support and he lost because his DNA made the child.
00:19:09.000 I mean, this poor guy.
00:19:10.000 He wasn't involved in the raising of this kid at all.
00:19:14.000 That's incredible.
00:19:15.000 This new thing with the guy from Lost Boys.
00:19:18.000 Lost Boys?
00:19:19.000 Patrick, the movie.
00:19:20.000 What's his name?
00:19:20.000 He was like the lead vampire.
00:19:23.000 His ex-wife, he had donated sperm or some shit like that. 1.00
00:19:28.000 And she took it and had a kid. 0.98
00:19:29.000 And then he was trying to get custody, or at least get visitation rights.
00:19:33.000 And he finally got...
00:19:35.000 Got the right by the judge because he is the father. 0.99
00:19:37.000 But it's like, that's some crazy shit that you could donate sperm and then it comes all this crazy issues with it. 1.00
00:19:44.000 Society's just crazy. 1.00
00:19:45.000 Jason Patrick.
00:19:46.000 Yeah, Patrick, right?
00:19:47.000 What'd I say?
00:19:48.000 I don't think we remembered his name.
00:19:50.000 I forgot about that dude.
00:19:52.000 Yeah, he was really big, and I think he did Speed 2, and then it just went off the rails.
00:19:57.000 He is a John Jock Machado student.
00:20:00.000 I've seen him hanging around with John Jock before.
00:20:02.000 Takes Jiu-Jitsu.
00:20:03.000 I love that name, John Jock.
00:20:04.000 You can't work at Burger King with the name John Jock.
00:20:06.000 You could.
00:20:07.000 Yeah, I'm John Jock.
00:20:09.000 Jason Patrick closer to be reunited with son.
00:20:13.000 Okay, let's not even read this, I'll get sad.
00:20:15.000 He's a sperm donor and now he's got a kid?
00:20:17.000 Is that what it is?
00:20:18.000 Well, he was married to this woman, I believe, and she took his sperm and had a child, and now he wants to be in the kid's life.
00:20:25.000 Oh boy.
00:20:27.000 Boy, boy, boy. 1.00
00:20:28.000 That's why when you go to a massage party, they tie the condiment in a knot and throw it in the refrigerator, I think, and sell that shit. 1.00
00:20:34.000 They don't throw it away. 0.99
00:20:35.000 They take the condom out of the room.
00:20:36.000 Yeah, they don't want your loads, dude.
00:20:38.000 Really?
00:20:39.000 They nuke your loads.
00:20:41.000 They throw them in the microwave and they make Godzilla.
00:20:43.000 Red Band's mother load? 0.76
00:20:45.000 Is that what they're talking about? 0.98
00:20:46.000 That's his gold and then their condoms? 0.99
00:20:49.000 They're like, we fucking ain't got it, boys. 0.98
00:20:52.000 It's all smooth sailing from here. 0.99
00:20:54.000 What do I got here?
00:20:55.000 Calling their friends up.
00:20:57.000 What's up, man?
00:20:58.000 Dude, what do I got here?
00:20:59.000 I'll tell you what I got.
00:21:00.000 I got a little rubber baggie of gold.
00:21:03.000 This is our ticket out of here. 0.98
00:21:06.000 I got Red Band cum. 1.00
00:21:07.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00
00:21:08.000 Red Band cum. 1.00
00:21:09.000 The guy on Twitter, he got 100,000 followers. 0.73
00:21:12.000 Exactly.
00:21:13.000 That's right.
00:21:14.000 He's a genius. 0.99
00:21:14.000 That guy's cum. 0.99
00:21:16.000 He's going to want it back. 0.99
00:21:18.000 Red Band, man, it's a little more talented than I think people give him credit for.
00:21:22.000 I got to work with him recently, and I feel like I never really...
00:21:26.000 I mean, it was just fun hanging out with him, and I think he's a little more talented than people get that.
00:21:29.000 Why are you saying that while you're looking at him?
00:21:30.000 Because I don't think he gets credit.
00:21:32.000 You're saying him while you're looking at him.
00:21:33.000 That's just weird.
00:21:34.000 I am weird, though.
00:21:35.000 You are weird. 0.93
00:21:36.000 I'll give you that. 0.98
00:21:37.000 I'll give it back.
00:21:38.000 I am a weird dude.
00:21:40.000 I'm a little crazy, but I got a new CD out.
00:21:43.000 Believe in yourself.
00:21:43.000 Buy it.
00:21:44.000 Is it on iTunes also?
00:21:45.000 Yes.
00:21:46.000 Sweet.
00:21:46.000 And it's on allthingsrecords.com.
00:21:48.000 Brian, we talked about this before, but why don't you put together like a set and do like a CD or something?
00:21:54.000 Yeah.
00:21:54.000 Do a digital release.
00:21:55.000 You should do that.
00:21:55.000 I just need to do more stage time first, though.
00:21:57.000 Yeah.
00:21:58.000 Do comedy.
00:22:00.000 I know. 1.00
00:22:00.000 Do that shit. 1.00
00:22:01.000 I can't get spots anywhere in LA. I'm realizing. 1.00
00:22:04.000 You can.
00:22:04.000 You just put together your own shows.
00:22:06.000 Do those fucking small eye show shows. 1.00
00:22:08.000 I can tell you where you can go. 1.00
00:22:09.000 You can go to the John Lovitz.
00:22:11.000 You can go to this new club on Hollywood Boulevard.
00:22:15.000 There's a bunch of places you can go.
00:22:16.000 I mean, if you can't get the store and you can't do the eye...
00:22:19.000 I don't know why the improv doesn't put you up.
00:22:21.000 Yeah.
00:22:22.000 Probably someone doesn't like his sexiness.
00:22:25.000 That's right.
00:22:25.000 I do believe your man, he makes people very, very intimidated.
00:22:29.000 But Vegas is cool.
00:22:29.000 You can get spots, though, dude.
00:22:31.000 You can get spots.
00:22:31.000 You just gotta hustle.
00:22:32.000 You gotta hustle.
00:22:33.000 It's so hard to hustle and do everything.
00:22:35.000 Well, it is.
00:22:36.000 You know, that's the issue.
00:22:37.000 You gotta decide, what do you like doing?
00:22:39.000 You like doing a million other podcasts?
00:22:40.000 Right.
00:22:41.000 Or do you want to do, like, two or three of your podcasts?
00:22:43.000 That's what I do.
00:22:44.000 I've cut down on podcasts a lot lately.
00:22:46.000 Smart.
00:22:46.000 It's focusing on the comedy thing, which is so tiring, because as...
00:22:49.000 You know, like, going on the road and finding a spot yourself, doing it at the Doug Stanhope way, getting, like, a rock club and getting the door and doing all...
00:22:56.000 It is the most stressful thing ever. 1.00
00:22:58.000 That's why managers, I get the 10 or 20% that they take, because that shit is just annoying as fuck. 0.99
00:23:05.000 And it's just hard, though. 0.99
00:23:06.000 It's stressful and hard.
00:23:07.000 I just went to Vegas, and it was such a...
00:23:09.000 It was so fun.
00:23:10.000 The place was amazing, but the...
00:23:13.000 Headache around booking it and getting everything.
00:23:16.000 Well, you can get somebody, dude.
00:23:17.000 You can get somebody to book you.
00:23:18.000 It's worth it.
00:23:19.000 And they can put you in places where you ordinarily might not have a connection with the guy.
00:23:23.000 Have you tried to get a booking agent?
00:23:25.000 No.
00:23:26.000 I don't even know what to do.
00:23:27.000 Well, you should get one like that.
00:23:28.000 Other comics are doing it, and you're friends with a lot of comics.
00:23:31.000 It's not hard to do.
00:23:32.000 But once you start doing it on a weekly basis and hammer it in, then the act starts to take shape.
00:23:39.000 Right.
00:23:39.000 I've been blessed, man.
00:23:40.000 Lately I've been touring a lot, and it's totally fun when you just keep...
00:23:44.000 When you get to work on a joke over and over again, and then all of a sudden you just riff on a new punchline, now it just boom, boom, boom, and it just builds.
00:23:52.000 Because I'm trying to now write a new hour to finally shoot something.
00:23:57.000 I've never shot an hour special.
00:23:59.000 So you want to write an hour additional to that and then shoot it in how much time?
00:24:03.000 Well, I'm debating whether I do, like, because I have another CD called Crime Fighter, and that material's really old, but do the best of this and the best of this new stuff I'm doing, and then shoot an hour, or just do a whole new hour.
00:24:15.000 You know what I would say?
00:24:16.000 Do a whole new hour, because that way people could still find this stuff, and they could still, like, tune to the old stuff.
00:24:22.000 Yeah, I'm about 35 minutes into a new hour.
00:24:25.000 I made a mistake once of not doing a totally new set because I had certain jokes that were just better.
00:24:31.000 Between my Showtime special and then when I did my CD on Comedy Central, there was a couple bits, I don't know how many bits, but there was more than one that crossed over that was just a better bit.
00:24:40.000 Now I just stuck it in anyway.
00:24:41.000 Not too many people saw the Netflix one because Netflix in 2005 was in its infancy.
00:24:47.000 It was a completely different thing.
00:24:49.000 But I regret that now.
00:24:51.000 I probably shouldn't have done that.
00:24:51.000 I probably should have just done totally new.
00:24:53.000 But I had better versions of those bits. 0.98
00:24:56.000 I'm like, God damn it. 0.94
00:24:57.000 These are so much better. 0.99
00:24:58.000 I saw your new special.
00:24:59.000 It was on YouTube.
00:25:02.000 Yeah, people take it and stick it online.
00:25:05.000 I don't really try to take it down.
00:25:07.000 I've taken it down a couple of times.
00:25:08.000 I feel like there's a bunch of bits on there that I hadn't heard before.
00:25:12.000 Did you do new stuff in that special?
00:25:14.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:25:14.000 That's some brave ass shit right there. 0.99
00:25:17.000 Putting out new bits on the special, I guess. 0.99
00:25:21.000 Well, one of the things about doing a podcast is, even if you're not writing during the time that you're doing the podcast, you're thinking about shit in a way, and you're going over, especially if we're doing a podcast like this, like hanging out with comics, just talking shit.
00:25:36.000 It's not like someone who's promoting a very specific book Or, you know, about a very specific subject, which is fascinating as well.
00:25:43.000 But doing these kind of podcasts, like, you're forced to think for long periods of time.
00:25:49.000 And you get ideas.
00:25:50.000 And I think it's easier to write. 1.00
00:25:52.000 I think it's easier to write shit. 0.99
00:25:54.000 I think there's a bunch of different ways to write. 0.99
00:25:56.000 But I think that just talking is a way to write, too.
00:25:59.000 What is writing?
00:26:01.000 It's just coming up with an idea, having a creative idea.
00:26:04.000 You get a lot of those just talking.
00:26:07.000 It's not the only thing.
00:26:09.000 You also get a lot of them doing stand-up.
00:26:12.000 You get a lot of them writing stand-up. 0.99
00:26:14.000 You get a lot of them writing other shit. 0.99
00:26:15.000 You might write an email to somebody and have a fucking great idea in the middle of... 1.00
00:26:18.000 Just trying to be silly in an email. 1.00
00:26:20.000 And you're like, holy shit, that's a bit. 0.99
00:26:21.000 And then take it, copy, paste it. 0.97
00:26:23.000 It's just a matter of just being in motion all the time.
00:26:27.000 Let's say you write ten bits, how many do you think actually make the act?
00:26:31.000 Two.
00:26:32.000 Two are worth it.
00:26:33.000 Yeah.
00:26:34.000 There's a few that are just like, what was that? 0.99
00:26:37.000 You just go back over the notes and you're like, the fuck was I thinking, man?
00:26:41.000 I try to take everything that happens and I try to turn into a bit. 0.98
00:26:47.000 And then sometimes you're like, this is going to kill.
00:26:49.000 And you go up there and it just flatlines.
00:26:51.000 But I also get Bambi legs when I'm doing new material. 0.99
00:26:54.000 When I have material I know that kills, I just, you know, I'm like Thor throwing, like, fucking hammers of the god. 0.95
00:27:00.000 And then I get up there and I do this new bit, and it just, like, I get the Bambi legs where my legs start shaking. 0.98
00:27:05.000 And I start dropping F-bombs. 1.00
00:27:08.000 And, like, every other word is a fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 1.00
00:27:10.000 You can't let that happen. 1.00
00:27:12.000 See, you know what happens, right?
00:27:14.000 You know that that happens.
00:27:15.000 And you talk about it, but you let it happen.
00:27:17.000 You can never let that happen.
00:27:18.000 I try not to.
00:27:20.000 Never let it happen.
00:27:21.000 You just never let it happen.
00:27:22.000 It's not going to happen.
00:27:23.000 It's just you can feel the energy of just going, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:27:26.000 But when guys do that, like you'll see guys like on the road, especially if you bring a guy on the road that hasn't been on the road before.
00:27:33.000 We're good to go.
00:27:52.000 The audience does not want to hear that.
00:27:53.000 That's like a poor use of words.
00:27:56.000 You see that at the Hollywood Improv a lot because a lot of people think that's like the office.
00:28:01.000 That's where you go to work when the industry is going to be there.
00:28:04.000 And when you're a young comic and it's the first time you get a set there, a lot of them put like this humongous amount of pressure on themselves to do well there.
00:28:14.000 I've always felt like as you move up the comedy chain, I feel the gigs kind of get easier.
00:28:20.000 The ticket price goes up, and as the ticket price goes up, I always feel like people want to laugh.
00:28:26.000 They're like, I'm dropping 50 bucks on this ticket, I'm going to laugh.
00:28:29.000 I want to laugh.
00:28:32.000 I couldn't disagree more.
00:28:33.000 Really?
00:28:34.000 Yeah.
00:28:35.000 I don't understand why anybody would be more inclined to laugh because they paid a lot more money.
00:28:39.000 I think they want to have a good time.
00:28:42.000 If you're paying $50 compared to going to a show where it's like, free comedy.
00:28:46.000 Okay, that's the difference.
00:28:47.000 Because I think that people who go free comedy, they could have done anything else.
00:28:51.000 They're not really there for comedy.
00:28:52.000 But someone pays for comedy, even if it's $10, whatever it is.
00:28:56.000 If they're paying for comedy.
00:28:58.000 They're going there to see a show.
00:28:59.000 Right.
00:29:00.000 But there's a big difference between that and, like, we paid $50, we're going to laugh hard.
00:29:04.000 Right.
00:29:04.000 I mean, the quality...
00:29:05.000 I think it's the opposite.
00:29:06.000 Really?
00:29:06.000 Yes.
00:29:07.000 When the ticket prices get high, people do a little bit of this. 0.97
00:29:10.000 Like, how much do I have to fucking pay? 0.80
00:29:12.000 There's guys out there that charge $150 a ticket. 0.99
00:29:14.000 I've seen those people.
00:29:15.000 $200 a ticket.
00:29:16.000 You know?
00:29:16.000 There's, like, they have tiered seating.
00:29:18.000 Like, the seating in the front is, like, $200.
00:29:20.000 Seating behind that is $150.
00:29:22.000 And you see people in that audience like this.
00:29:24.000 I was just in Pechanga.
00:29:25.000 Brian Regan's playing there, and I think it's like, he's like $110.
00:29:30.000 What?
00:29:30.000 Something that's up there.
00:29:31.000 Holy shit. 0.99
00:29:32.000 I would pay that to see him. 1.00
00:29:33.000 He's hilarious.
00:29:34.000 I think he's great.
00:29:35.000 You know, we talked about that on the podcast before, but apparently we were incorrect when it was about Jay Leno, so we should probably correct this is a good opportunity.
00:29:44.000 When you see those super high tickets, those are actually scalpers.
00:29:47.000 That's like Ticket Hub and shit like that.
00:29:50.000 Yeah, but this was an advertisement on... 0.81
00:29:53.000 Yeah.
00:29:53.000 In Pechanga.
00:29:54.000 I understand.
00:29:55.000 But we were talking about Jay Leno.
00:29:56.000 Oh, okay. 0.95
00:29:56.000 And we were quoting like $250 tickets and shit like that. 0.95
00:29:59.000 Apparently, his tickets are not that expensive. 0.90
00:30:01.000 It's just that scalpers, they exist.
00:30:05.000 I've been doing his spots on Sunday nights at the Comedy Magic Club.
00:30:08.000 Oh, he's not doing it anymore?
00:30:10.000 Well, he's on the road a lot.
00:30:11.000 So I do some of the times when he's not there, I do his spots.
00:30:14.000 That's great.
00:30:15.000 I think you being there is great because it allows it to kind of shift the comedy a little bit.
00:30:20.000 Well, they were talking about the differences in the crowds, between my crowds and Jay Leno's crowds.
00:30:24.000 It's pretty hilarious.
00:30:25.000 I think it's great, man.
00:30:27.000 Well, it's a good spot, man.
00:30:29.000 I mean, the place has been there for a long time.
00:30:32.000 And I'll chow down when I'm there, dude.
00:30:34.000 Oh, the food?
00:30:35.000 I chow down.
00:30:36.000 It's a good club, man.
00:30:37.000 I mean, it's a club that's owned by a guy who really has a love of comedy.
00:30:41.000 He's a great dude.
00:30:42.000 I think he started that club.
00:30:44.000 I think he bought it in 1978. I don't know if he started it or if he was the first.
00:30:48.000 I think he was the first. 0.99
00:30:49.000 But either way, it's like a goddamn museum. 1.00
00:30:52.000 Stop blowing that stinky shit in the air. 1.00
00:30:53.000 That stuff's gross. 1.00
00:30:55.000 It's nice. 0.99
00:30:56.000 It's stinky, man. 0.83
00:30:57.000 It's like spraying perfume in the air at Abercrombie& Fitch. 1.00
00:31:01.000 It's fucking gross. 1.00
00:31:02.000 It smells bad. 1.00
00:31:03.000 You don't do those e-cigarettes?
00:31:05.000 I don't want to smell it. 1.00
00:31:09.000 It's fucking gross. 1.00
00:31:09.000 Red band, stop it. 1.00
00:31:11.000 I saw some guy doing that at a restaurant the other day, and it was like, it filled the room with this stinky smoke.
00:31:16.000 Oh, they're starting to ban that now.
00:31:17.000 But you can see it.
00:31:18.000 But I mean, you can see it all over the place, and people are looking around like, is that smoke? 1.00
00:31:22.000 Like, what is, technically, what the fuck is going on if I have to breathe your shit? 0.99
00:31:25.000 We're in a gray area. 0.99
00:31:27.000 Yeah, but it's not legal.
00:31:28.000 Yeah.
00:31:29.000 It's not legal.
00:31:30.000 And people are still doing it in restaurants.
00:31:31.000 And then nobody...
00:31:32.000 It's like, if you lit up a cigar in a restaurant...
00:31:34.000 People go nuts. 1.00
00:31:35.000 They would fucking beat your ass. 1.00
00:31:36.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:31:37.000 Somebody would kick you out.
00:31:38.000 But this guy pulled one of these things out and started puffing it in a restaurant.
00:31:43.000 And nobody did anything.
00:31:44.000 It was like this weird state of mind.
00:31:46.000 Like, are we breathing in smoke?
00:31:47.000 It smells.
00:31:48.000 It had like a strawberry smell to it or something.
00:31:51.000 Icky.
00:31:51.000 Yeah, but it isn't smoke, though.
00:31:54.000 It's vapor.
00:31:55.000 But I don't believe that. 1.00
00:31:56.000 And it smells like shit to him. 1.00
00:31:58.000 If it's just vapor, okay, you tell me this. 1.00
00:32:00.000 What's the difference between you inhaling that vapor and me inhaling that vapor?
00:32:03.000 It's going into your body, and you're blowing it out.
00:32:07.000 So inside, when you're doing that, it's transporting the nicotine.
00:32:11.000 So when it goes out into the air, isn't it also transporting at least some of the nicotine?
00:32:17.000 It has to be.
00:32:18.000 If it is, it's so small and it's nicotine.
00:32:20.000 It doesn't matter.
00:32:21.000 You can't say that because you're asking other people to ingest your nicotine.
00:32:27.000 That's the whole purpose of making secondhand smoke illegal.
00:32:30.000 Yeah, but I think it's so small that you won't even feel anything.
00:32:34.000 It shouldn't be anything.
00:32:35.000 It should be zero.
00:32:36.000 It should be zero amount of drugs that you could put in the air that affect other people.
00:32:40.000 Yeah.
00:32:40.000 I mean, that's not something we have to deal with.
00:32:41.000 We don't do that as a...
00:32:43.000 I mean, I guess we do. 1.00
00:32:43.000 I was going to say we don't do it with our bodies, but I guess some chicks give off a fucking drug. 1.00
00:32:47.000 The perfume? 0.99
00:32:48.000 Or like when you're in a mall and you go buy a Yankee Candle store?
00:32:51.000 No, no, it's not like perfume.
00:32:53.000 It's not like perfume.
00:32:54.000 You're actually breathing in.
00:32:55.000 I see it in the air.
00:32:57.000 It's like when you blow that thing out, I can see it.
00:32:59.000 It's a fog machine.
00:33:00.000 I don't believe that.
00:33:01.000 I don't believe that.
00:33:02.000 I think there's some of them that are. 1.00
00:33:04.000 But I think some of them, man, that shit lingers like smoke. 1.00
00:33:07.000 Like there's some that you see it, like it blows out and within seconds it's gone. 1.00
00:33:12.000 It just disappears.
00:33:13.000 But there's other ones that float around.
00:33:15.000 Floating the air.
00:33:16.000 And that's the thing they're saying about these e-cigarettes.
00:33:18.000 They're saying, look, they're absolutely better for you than regular cigarettes.
00:33:22.000 Are you done with cigarettes?
00:33:23.000 Health experts are saying this.
00:33:24.000 But what they're not saying is all e-cigarettes are equal.
00:33:28.000 And what they're not saying is that all cigarettes that are using these little electronic mechanisms have the same mechanism.
00:33:35.000 That they act in the same way. 0.96
00:33:37.000 So when you see what looks like fucking smoke, you're seeing a guy who burnt some tobacco oil. 0.99
00:33:43.000 Yep. 0.99
00:33:43.000 I mean, that's what it is. 0.99
00:33:44.000 It might not be plant matter.
00:33:46.000 It might be just the oil, but I feel like it's smoke.
00:33:49.000 There's no regulated standards that everybody must have the same thing.
00:33:52.000 Yeah, I'm not sure enough to really discuss it.
00:33:55.000 It's the Wild West.
00:33:56.000 But what I've understood by listening to people talk about it, the standards are very different.
00:34:02.000 Like, you can get, like, one, like, a blue e-cigarette.
00:34:05.000 Like, if somebody had a blue in this room and they're smoking it, I'm pretty sure that is just vapor.
00:34:10.000 Like, that's all you're getting.
00:34:11.000 You're inhaling this thing and you're puffing out just vapor. 1.00
00:34:14.000 But when you buy one of those fucking fire hydrant-looking bitches like Red Van has. 1.00
00:34:18.000 Those lightsabers. 1.00
00:34:19.000 With a tuba thing.
00:34:21.000 What are those flute things? 1.00
00:34:22.000 What are those things called?
00:34:23.000 Luca?
00:34:24.000 Like, a flute. 0.98
00:34:25.000 When you suck on the end of it, what would the mouthpiece be called? 0.93
00:34:28.000 Fluke. 1.00
00:34:29.000 Oh, yeah, a fluke.
00:34:30.000 No, that's a fish. 0.93
00:34:31.000 This thing.
00:34:31.000 A fluke.
00:34:32.000 F-L-U-K-E is a fish. 0.91
00:34:36.000 Well, maybe it's a fluke in it.
00:34:37.000 It's a fish and a mouse piece.
00:34:39.000 I thought it was.
00:34:39.000 Could be.
00:34:40.000 Look it up.
00:34:41.000 I thought it was a fluke.
00:34:43.000 Wasn't it a flue?
00:34:44.000 F-L-U-E? That piece I thought was a fluke, but isn't that a part of a musical instrument?
00:34:50.000 It's an F-L-U-E? Yeah, and I think that's why they call it. 0.99
00:34:53.000 Yeah, that's the same thing.
00:34:55.000 Google it time!
00:34:56.000 It's Google time!
00:34:58.000 It's that little thing you put on the end of a wooden instrument.
00:35:03.000 It's also a hot dog joint.
00:35:05.000 You ever eat at Flukies?
00:35:06.000 The many different words of the English language.
00:35:09.000 Well, okay.
00:35:11.000 The flying fluke.
00:35:15.000 The part of an anchor that catches the ground, especially in the triangular piece at the end of each arm.
00:35:27.000 Under anchor.
00:35:29.000 A barb or a barbed head of a harpoon, a spear, arrow or the like, and either half of the triangular tail of a whale.
00:35:40.000 Okay, there's another.
00:35:41.000 There's an accidental, like there's a fluke, like it was a fluke victory.
00:35:45.000 That's one.
00:35:46.000 That was a fluke.
00:35:47.000 Yeah, an accident or chance happening.
00:35:49.000 An accidentally successful stroke, such as in billiards.
00:35:54.000 It's a fluke shot in billiards, they say.
00:35:58.000 Obscure origin.
00:36:00.000 Okay.
00:36:01.000 Fluke, like a guess.
00:36:02.000 Alright.
00:36:03.000 Fluke peri.
00:36:03.000 Any of several...
00:36:04.000 Fluke peri.
00:36:05.000 No.
00:36:06.000 Fluke peri.
00:36:07.000 American flounders.
00:36:08.000 I used to catch those when we lived in Massachusetts.
00:36:10.000 I used to catch summer flounders.
00:36:12.000 They're called flukes.
00:36:14.000 And any of a variety of other flat fishes.
00:36:19.000 No, it doesn't say that.
00:36:20.000 Now let's look up flu.
00:36:22.000 F-L-U-E. Because I think that's what we're thinking of. 1.00
00:36:25.000 Oh, I might be wrong about that, too.
00:36:27.000 Flu is a passage or duct for smoke in a chimney.
00:36:31.000 So it's a flu. 1.00
00:36:32.000 It's not a fluke, you fuckheads. 1.00
00:36:35.000 You ruined the whole thing. 0.99
00:36:36.000 Any duct or passage for air, gas, or the like, so it has to be that.
00:36:40.000 You know what I found, man?
00:36:41.000 You know those Green Mountain Grills?
00:36:44.000 They make those pellet grills?
00:36:46.000 They make a pellet.
00:36:47.000 Not Green Mountain Grills, but other companies.
00:36:49.000 They make pellet smokers.
00:36:50.000 Really?
00:36:51.000 You know, you go to the barbecue.
00:36:53.000 I've been looking up these smokers, man, because I did that smoky thing with the ham.
00:36:57.000 My smoker's kind of whack.
00:36:59.000 It fell over in the wind. 0.98
00:37:01.000 The wind knocked it over, and it's all fucked up now. 0.99
00:37:04.000 I mean, it worked fine for the moment, but it was kind of a pain in the dick. 0.99
00:37:07.000 You had to get up every couple hours and stick wood chips in it. 0.95
00:37:12.000 I thought it would be more self-contained in that.
00:37:15.000 But they have these things like Green Mountain Grills.
00:37:17.000 The Green Mountain Grill is a pellet smoker, or it's a pellet cooker.
00:37:21.000 But they have pellet smokers, too, that work in kind of a different way.
00:37:25.000 It's more smoke than it is just the heat from burning the pellets, I guess. 0.98
00:37:29.000 But you could make ribs and shit on them. 0.98
00:37:31.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:37:32.000 When Joey Diaz says that he got the meat sweats, because I got it the other day from eating meat ribs...
00:37:39.000 What is that from?
00:37:40.000 Because, I mean, it was serious.
00:37:41.000 Like, I thought I was having a heart attack after eating because I was getting hot and then shaky and then...
00:37:46.000 Your body's just trying to burn off all that extra flesh you just stuffed down your maw. 0.80
00:37:50.000 And that's what it is. 1.00
00:37:51.000 Your body's just going, holy shit. 0.99
00:37:53.000 We ate a fogo de chow. 1.00
00:37:54.000 I love that place.
00:37:56.000 After Eddie's match with Hoyler, and we were sweating like crazy.
00:37:59.000 Really?
00:37:59.000 Yeah.
00:38:00.000 You just dig in when you eat a lot of meat, man.
00:38:02.000 I love it.
00:38:03.000 I did one of those things where I'm driving by the hospital in Burbank, and I'm like, should I just pull over and just wait this out to make sure I don't need to be there soon?
00:38:10.000 No.
00:38:12.000 Were you thinking you were dying?
00:38:14.000 It felt something was not right, man.
00:38:15.000 I felt like something was up.
00:38:18.000 Are you worried about your health?
00:38:19.000 Is that why you're going to the electronic cigarette, or is you just doing this because you're in the studio?
00:38:23.000 No, I mostly do electronic cigarette.
00:38:26.000 You should only do it.
00:38:27.000 The girl I'm with hates it so much.
00:38:29.000 Good.
00:38:30.000 Good for her. 0.98
00:38:30.000 What does she hate more, your e-cigarettes or your handjob places? 0.98
00:38:36.000 Oh, no. 0.99
00:38:36.000 Shh. 0.99
00:38:37.000 Jesus, Sam.
00:38:39.000 You don't have to spell it out.
00:38:41.000 So there's no denial? 1.00
00:38:43.000 You fucking cock blocker. 1.00
00:38:45.000 Hey. 1.00
00:38:45.000 Yeah, well, let me have Sam said. 1.00
00:38:49.000 The robot.
00:38:50.000 Hey, listen.
00:38:54.000 Sam Tripoli knows what you do. 1.00
00:38:56.000 He always does that shit, man. 1.00
00:38:57.000 There's been so many times where Sam has said something where I'm like, dude, what are you doing? 1.00
00:39:02.000 Like what?
00:39:02.000 You're on stage talking about rub-out maps!
00:39:06.000 What are you talking about?
00:39:08.000 You're the most interesting guy.
00:39:10.000 You get mad at me all the time for just bringing up something you talk about on stage.
00:39:14.000 He's got a big deal.
00:39:15.000 You got like everybody mad at me on Twitter because of something that I just literally just was like, hey, did you see Red Band say this?
00:39:22.000 And then the firestorm breaks out.
00:39:25.000 Do you not think she's on Twitter? 0.82
00:39:27.000 She's like a social media person.
00:39:30.000 It's so weird.
00:39:31.000 I know I'm out of shape.
00:39:33.000 No way.
00:39:33.000 Because I was running one day in La Jolla.
00:39:36.000 People randomly started cheering me on as I was running down the street.
00:39:41.000 Guys on bikes were giving me high fives and thumbs up.
00:39:45.000 I was like, dude, I'm just running. 0.99
00:39:48.000 This isn't like a fucking marathon. 0.92
00:39:49.000 How do you know that they didn't see you perform at the comedy store there that's right next to La Jolla? 0.99
00:39:54.000 Or maybe it was so funny seeing your boobs that they were like, yeah! 0.71
00:39:57.000 That's hilarious. 0.99
00:39:59.000 Uncalled for.
00:40:00.000 Why wouldn't you assume that they knew who you were? 1.00
00:40:02.000 You were performing in that fucking town. 0.99
00:40:04.000 How many people do you think are in La Jolla? 1.00
00:40:06.000 I know, but it was in PB. I know it's the same basic place, but nobody knew who you were.
00:40:11.000 How long ago was this?
00:40:12.000 This was like a couple weeks ago.
00:40:14.000 Sam Tripoli, you are internet famous in a way.
00:40:17.000 You know that, right? 0.99
00:40:18.000 You have a fucking CD that's number 11 on iTunes. 1.00
00:40:20.000 Ah, believe in yourself. 1.00
00:40:22.000 Yeah, but I mean, seriously, stop and think about that.
00:40:24.000 Are you confused that people would give you the thumbs up if they think you're funny?
00:40:28.000 Yeah, I do, but I just feel it was...
00:40:30.000 Do you have self-doubt, Sam Tripoli?
00:40:31.000 Yes, I'm the house of self-doubt.
00:40:35.000 That's where I come from.
00:40:36.000 Yes, I do have self-doubt.
00:40:37.000 But I really think it more has to do with me looking like I'm barely holding on as I run. 0.98
00:40:43.000 Well, there's a little of that, but I'm trying to give you a fucking half glass full option. 0.98
00:40:48.000 And you're not even willing to take it. 0.99
00:40:49.000 That's some defeatist-type thinking, Sam.
00:40:51.000 I don't know why.
00:40:52.000 I just have a feeling it has more to do with the running than the rocking.
00:40:56.000 Because you're trying to work in your material about running and people getting...
00:40:59.000 That's not true at all!
00:41:00.000 Come on.
00:41:02.000 Okay, it is a bit.
00:41:03.000 A little bit of a bit.
00:41:04.000 A little bit of a bit.
00:41:05.000 A little bit of a bit.
00:41:06.000 A little bit of a something there I know I can ramble with.
00:41:09.000 Ugh. 0.99
00:41:10.000 Pacific Beach is fucking beautiful, isn't it? 0.99
00:41:12.000 It's gorgeous. 0.99
00:41:13.000 I don't know why.
00:41:13.000 Why would you live in Cleveland when you could live in PB? People get stuck.
00:41:19.000 They don't have enough money to move, and it's scary.
00:41:21.000 It's scary to try to relocate to a new spot.
00:41:23.000 I would smoke a ton of crack.
00:41:24.000 What?
00:41:25.000 That way I wouldn't have to eat for like two weeks.
00:41:27.000 And I'd just save all my money for a greyhound bus.
00:41:30.000 Because everybody knows that crack grows on trees.
00:41:33.000 A greyhound?
00:41:34.000 I mean, dude.
00:41:34.000 Or the crack bush on the corner.
00:41:35.000 Imagine if crack did grow on trees.
00:41:37.000 It would put crack dealers out of business.
00:41:39.000 But everybody would be on crack.
00:41:40.000 Everybody would be on crack.
00:41:41.000 Can you imagine if that was like a real issue?
00:41:42.000 Like crack was just growing everywhere?
00:41:44.000 There would be a lot of people on trees.
00:41:46.000 There'd be a lot of people that are dead, probably.
00:41:48.000 This is a joke on my CD. I was walking my dog next door.
00:41:52.000 I have crackheads everywhere.
00:41:53.000 I was walking my dog.
00:41:54.000 I looked in the trees.
00:41:55.000 There were crackheads in the trees.
00:41:57.000 That's a true story.
00:41:58.000 They were just hanging up out there and there's like five crackheads in these trees.
00:42:03.000 That's, you know, you got good crack.
00:42:05.000 It's like if you go by a pasture and you see big, fat, healthy cows, that's some good grass.
00:42:10.000 Those cows are eating good.
00:42:12.000 But if you see a crackhead up in a tree, someone nearby has some really good crack.
00:42:17.000 Did you see the video of the jazz band playing jazz and the cows just all walk up and start listening to the band jam?
00:42:24.000 Really?
00:42:25.000 Yeah, it was like they had to pull over to take a piss and the guy starts playing his thing and all the cows just start looking.
00:42:31.000 And then you see them walk over and they start listening to the band.
00:42:34.000 That's so cool.
00:42:35.000 Cows and people have such a fascinating relationship, man.
00:42:37.000 That's a weird thing.
00:42:39.000 Yeah, we eat them.
00:42:40.000 We don't just eat them.
00:42:42.000 Very, very, very, very, very, very few people have them as pets.
00:42:47.000 And the people that do have them as pets, they usually get something out of them, like milk.
00:42:51.000 They milk them.
00:42:52.000 And then the big male ones, boy... 0.77
00:43:02.000 Yep.
00:43:04.000 Yep.
00:43:19.000 So strange.
00:43:20.000 I mean, we've accepted it because it's normal, but if human beings, if the concept of eating other animals didn't exist...
00:43:28.000 And then, you know, we started introducing the idea.
00:43:31.000 We found a better way to get our protein than beans.
00:43:35.000 In fact, if you eat animals, animal protein is high in omega-3 fatty acids.
00:43:41.000 And we started extolling the virtues of murdering cows and eating them. 1.00
00:43:45.000 People would be like, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00
00:43:47.000 What are you, crazy? 1.00
00:43:48.000 You can't eat animals! 1.00
00:43:50.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:43:50.000 You're going to eat animals? 1.00
00:43:51.000 But because we eat animals all the time, It's just no big deal.
00:43:55.000 Totally acceptable.
00:43:56.000 It's totally acceptable.
00:43:57.000 Mass murder is fine. 1.00
00:43:58.000 Well, and we just have this thing, well, you know, animals eat animals and fucking they would eat us, which is totally true. 1.00
00:44:04.000 Yes, they would. 0.99
00:44:05.000 But it's weird.
00:44:06.000 What I'm getting at is it's weird, and it goes back to what we were talking about, about living in Edmonton, because it's weird what people just get used to.
00:44:14.000 It's weird that people get used to 50 below zero. 0.99
00:44:16.000 It's weird that people get used to plowing themselves out of their driveway every day because it snowed a foot and a half overnight while they were sleeping so they have to get up two hours early just so they can get out of their fucking driveway and drive down that slippery road to a job that sucks. 0.98
00:44:29.000 But people do it. 0.99
00:44:30.000 They just fucking do it. 1.00
00:44:31.000 They just accept it. 1.00
00:44:32.000 They accept it.
00:44:33.000 Just like, this is my reality. 1.00
00:44:34.000 Cold as fuck. 1.00
00:44:36.000 Even prison. 1.00
00:44:37.000 That's where it gets really weird, man.
00:44:39.000 People accept their prison reality.
00:44:41.000 That's why they say that men become institutionalized.
00:44:44.000 I guess women as well, probably, right?
00:44:46.000 If they're locked up for a long time, they become used to the community and the social interaction.
00:44:53.000 Schedule, too?
00:44:53.000 Schedule.
00:44:53.000 They get used to that world.
00:44:55.000 When I say the community, I don't say it's a fucking great community. 0.99
00:44:58.000 The great NBC show? 0.99
00:44:59.000 No, I don't mean that either.
00:45:01.000 What I meant was that it's like they get used to that sort of structure, that social structure.
00:45:05.000 They get used to that world and they're scared. 0.98
00:45:07.000 And when they get free, they'll commit some stupid little crime where nobody gets hurt, so they get sent back. 0.99
00:45:13.000 Yeah, that definitely does happen. 1.00
00:45:15.000 They should have the option, I think.
00:45:17.000 To stay in? 0.99
00:45:18.000 Look, I think if someone's gotten you to the point where you're so fucked up, you want to stay in prison and you don't want to be free, or if you are so fucked up and you have the ability to recognize it, like if you're a child molester or something along those lines, which... 0.99
00:45:33.000 You know, take away from the horrific act of what molesting a child is. 1.00
00:45:37.000 It's fucking unbelievably evil. 1.00
00:45:39.000 Disgusting. 1.00
00:45:40.000 Disgusting and evil. 1.00
00:45:41.000 But, imagine... 0.99
00:45:42.000 I don't understand...
00:45:44.000 Like, some people's motivations for things.
00:45:47.000 I'm not inside their head.
00:45:49.000 I could speculate, but I really couldn't imagine what it's like to be a child molester.
00:45:54.000 Someone obviously can.
00:45:56.000 Could you imagine being a person who does not want that in them? 0.99
00:46:00.000 Does not want that whatever the fuck it is. 1.00
00:46:03.000 That aberration, that fuck-up, that horrible left turn in their mind that makes them want to molest kids, but it's there. 0.99
00:46:11.000 And so, you know, what if one of them was like, you know what, man, don't let me out. 0.99
00:46:14.000 Just leave me in here.
00:46:15.000 Leave me in here, I'm having a good life, or a good enough life.
00:46:18.000 There was a story about a guy who infected women with HIV, and he had infected a bunch of them.
00:46:25.000 Because he didn't believe he had it.
00:46:28.000 He thought it was BS. Tommy Morrison was saying that, remember?
00:46:33.000 But he went to jail, and this guy, they wouldn't let him out.
00:46:36.000 They kept him in jail for longer until they figured out what they were going to do with him.
00:46:40.000 What can you do?
00:46:41.000 How can you stop someone from giving a disease?
00:46:44.000 You have it, dude.
00:46:46.000 You can't give it to other people.
00:46:48.000 Yeah, I mean, people have been giving people the clap from the beginning of time. 1.00
00:46:52.000 How many fucking people have chlamydia, know they have chlamydia, and still go out and fuck? 1.00
00:46:57.000 That's got to be rough. 1.00
00:46:58.000 It's rough.
00:46:59.000 But they would do it with AIDS, too, man.
00:47:01.000 People would do it with everything.
00:47:02.000 Well, obviously, people do give it out because it gets spread around.
00:47:08.000 Right. 0.99
00:47:08.000 Well, how about this fucking Magic Johnson, Donald Sterling thing? 0.99
00:47:13.000 This whole thing, a part of this whole thing that a lot of people were ignoring was her and the guy, Sterling and her having this conversation, where he was saying, you can go fuck these guys. 1.00
00:47:25.000 He was like, I don't care what you do with him, fuck him, go out, you know, fuck him. 1.00
00:47:29.000 Like, you're hanging out with magic. 1.00
00:47:31.000 Wait a minute, hold on.
00:47:32.000 Well, he even said that, he had said that in the Anderson Cooper interview.
00:47:36.000 Yes.
00:47:36.000 That this guy was going around having sex with people when he knew he had HIV. Yeah, he said that in the Anderson Cooper thing.
00:47:43.000 And I'd heard that before.
00:47:45.000 Well, he probably does.
00:47:47.000 But what's crazy is that...
00:47:50.000 It's just like everything else.
00:47:51.000 It's just like having chlamydia.
00:47:53.000 It's just like having herpes.
00:47:55.000 It's just like people don't think of HIV, which can be potentially fatal.
00:48:00.000 I mean, I guess less fatal now that they have a lot more drugs.
00:48:04.000 I think eventually it's just going to be like diabetes almost, but you can give it to somebody.
00:48:09.000 I think that's where it's at now, I think.
00:48:10.000 You've got to take drugs for it forever.
00:48:12.000 Yeah.
00:48:13.000 Will they ever cure it?
00:48:14.000 I think whoever...
00:48:16.000 What they should do is whoever's got a billion dollars go, this is a billion dollars.
00:48:19.000 They need a lot more than that.
00:48:21.000 To cure it?
00:48:22.000 Yeah.
00:48:22.000 If you're like, to a scientist that can have this billion dollars if you cure it.
00:48:26.000 No.
00:48:27.000 It doesn't matter.
00:48:28.000 The funding in order to make a drug...
00:48:32.000 That's capable of doing something as incredible as curing HIV or curing AIDS. I mean, right now they've got them.
00:48:39.000 Apparently...
00:48:39.000 Now, again, when I'm discussing this, I have zero medical background.
00:48:44.000 We're just two dudes talking. 1.00
00:48:46.000 Two idiots that happen to be dirty comedians. 1.00
00:48:48.000 One's smarter than the other. 1.00
00:48:49.000 But we don't have... 1.00
00:48:50.000 I don't know who the fuck is smart. 0.99
00:48:51.000 Leave it out there. 1.00
00:48:52.000 You know big words.
00:48:53.000 I'm not sure.
00:48:54.000 I'm saying, again, it's just the words.
00:48:57.000 The actual mechanism behind the smart is very debatable.
00:49:00.000 But... 0.92
00:49:02.000 Look, the bottom line is, I don't know shit about medical science at all. 0.98
00:49:07.000 So anything that I say about what's good for you and bad for you is just fucking pure speculation. 0.95
00:49:14.000 However, what I understand is that they've got it down to a point where you don't even test positive. 0.87
00:49:20.000 For HIV anymore.
00:49:22.000 They've had people that are HIV positive, but the drug goes into such remote places and squashes out the virus in such a way that even though you still have it, it's like- And you can transmit it?
00:49:35.000 I don't know.
00:49:36.000 That's the question.
00:49:37.000 None of it makes any sense to me.
00:49:39.000 It's chaos.
00:49:40.000 Viruses don't make any sense to me.
00:49:42.000 Bacteria doesn't make any sense to me. 0.98
00:49:44.000 The fact that you need bacteria makes no fucking sense to me. 0.78
00:49:47.000 Can, like, a virus, it lives forever? 0.97
00:49:50.000 That's a good question.
00:49:51.000 Some of them they've eradicated and they've come back.
00:49:54.000 You know, like, some of them they got...
00:49:55.000 Well, that's one of the things that people get so upset about with anti-vaccine people. 0.98
00:49:58.000 It's like, do you understand that they have taken shit like polio and made it almost non-existent? 0.99
00:50:05.000 They've taken things like smallpox and made them almost non-existent. 0.99
00:50:10.000 What about this, MERS or MAR? Yeah, MERS. Dangerous.
00:50:13.000 Like, has that always been around, or is that just like something comes out of nowhere?
00:50:16.000 And then you gotta be like, oh, it was the Middle East thing.
00:50:19.000 How much is this man-made?
00:50:21.000 You know, like...
00:50:23.000 Well, don't get crazy.
00:50:24.000 I won't.
00:50:24.000 I'll stop.
00:50:25.000 I'll pull back.
00:50:25.000 It's a thing that people do, dude.
00:50:27.000 I do have a little bit of information about this, because I did a whole special on it, on that sci-fi show, On Infectious Diseases.
00:50:35.000 I got a chance to talk to a lot of these guys.
00:50:37.000 They're not making any new diseases.
00:50:39.000 They don't have to make any new diseases. 1.00
00:50:41.000 They have some shit, weaponized smallpox, that if they released, were fucksville. 0.99
00:50:47.000 They had this stuff in mass quantities in Russia, and that's a fact. 1.00
00:50:52.000 There's no need to make any new thing like MERS. MERS is not very effective because, look, it's not spreading. 0.99
00:50:58.000 A very small amount of people have gotten it.
00:51:00.000 They were talking about it years ago.
00:51:02.000 It's a very dangerous and deadly disease once people get it, but there's not that many people that have it.
00:51:07.000 It's a very small, I only think like six people ever have died from it.
00:51:10.000 The problem is it's like half the people that get it.
00:51:14.000 Is bird flu new?
00:51:15.000 Bird flu's not new.
00:51:17.000 All of these flus, this is another thing that I found out during the show, almost all of them come from livestock.
00:51:23.000 Whether it's the swine flu, whether it's the avian flu, bird flu, all these different flus, a shit ton of them come from the way people raise animals in factory farm traditions.
00:51:34.000 And make love to them.
00:51:35.000 No.
00:51:36.000 Okay.
00:51:37.000 That's a myth. 0.99
00:51:37.000 I thought there was a lot of fucking going on. 0.99
00:51:38.000 Remember that was the AIDS one with the monkey? 1.00
00:51:41.000 Somebody fucked a monkey! 1.00
00:51:45.000 Yeah, Sam Kinison's bit on AIDS was like, at the time, it was so taboo and so wrong, but there's so much of it that was so fucking true and funny. 0.99
00:51:56.000 The thing where he's like, you know, he's like...
00:51:59.000 Sam.
00:51:59.000 They say Sam.
00:52:00.000 AIDS is a heterosexual disease. 0.99
00:52:02.000 Straight people die from it too. 0.97
00:52:05.000 Name one! 1.00
00:52:06.000 Name one fucking guy! 1.00
00:52:08.000 Fuck you! 1.00
00:52:09.000 It's not our dance! 1.00
00:52:12.000 It's not our fucking dance! 1.00
00:52:14.000 Like, that's a horrible joke. 1.00
00:52:17.000 It's terrible and mean.
00:52:20.000 Who was someone talking about?
00:52:21.000 They went back and they watched Eddie Murphy's Delirious or Raw, I forgot, and they were watching it with their kids.
00:52:29.000 And then at some point, he had to stop and go, listen, we don't talk like this anymore.
00:52:33.000 Because it was very raw, obviously.
00:52:36.000 Not just raw. 0.97
00:52:37.000 The difference between a gay joke and an evil homophobic joke, there's a difference. 0.94
00:52:46.000 And that used to be pretty normal. 0.94
00:52:49.000 An evil homophobic joke in the 80s was pretty normal.
00:52:53.000 Like, you could get away with it.
00:52:54.000 Yeah.
00:52:55.000 You know?
00:52:55.000 And now it's like, whoa.
00:52:57.000 It's like, you can't just shit on someone just for their sexual orientation. 0.99
00:53:02.000 Yeah, it's gotta be an observation of it. 0.99
00:53:04.000 I mean, what is the line on that?
00:53:05.000 Because I feel like some people think that if you just bring it up, it's homophobic.
00:53:10.000 And I just completely disagree with that.
00:53:12.000 Yes, I agree with you 100% that the subjects are always going to be completely open.
00:53:19.000 You can talk about anything you want on stage.
00:53:22.000 People may or may not find it funny.
00:53:24.000 The question is, do you find it funny and can you find a way to relay it to an audience?
00:53:30.000 If that's your intent, just finding humor in life, there's nothing wrong with that and you can talk about any subject you want.
00:53:37.000 But that's not what they were doing back then. 1.00
00:53:39.000 They were just shitting on gay people. 1.00
00:53:42.000 Destroying gay people. 1.00
00:53:43.000 You know, you remember when Sebastian Bach from Skid Row had that t-shirt on? 0.99
00:53:47.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:53:48.000 AIDS kills fags dead? 1.00
00:53:49.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:53:50.000 Yeah, man.
00:53:51.000 You could find it.
00:53:52.000 Pull up the picture.
00:53:53.000 It was a huge controversy.
00:53:54.000 It's like, why would you say that?
00:53:56.000 It's so weird.
00:53:58.000 That is as homophobic as you can get.
00:54:01.000 That's probably the worst. 0.99
00:54:02.000 Well, it's just right up there with God Hates Fags, that Phelps guy that died recently. 1.00
00:54:08.000 Walking around with a shirt on like that, someone thought that was cool.
00:54:12.000 It's cooler than not wearing that shirt.
00:54:14.000 There it is. 1.00
00:54:16.000 Is there irony lost in the way he's pouting with his gay lips and his fucking Farrah Fawcett hair? 1.00
00:54:22.000 And just that whole group of that music genre was all dudes who tried to look like chicks. 1.00
00:54:27.000 Yeah.
00:54:28.000 Remember when you first saw the Poison CD? You're like, those are some smoking hot chicks! 1.00
00:54:32.000 And your friend's like, dude, those are guys.
00:54:34.000 You're like, aww!
00:54:35.000 How weird.
00:54:36.000 What a weird time in music, man.
00:54:38.000 I blame Rob Halford. 1.00
00:54:40.000 Because Rob Halford of Judas Priest, who was gay as fuck and cool as shit, all-around bad motherfucker, he's such a bad motherfucker that he was wearing obvious gay biker garb, and he got people to think that gay biker garb on stage was something cool. 1.00
00:54:58.000 Yeah, some manly shit. 1.00
00:54:59.000 And because he was sort of closeted... 1.00
00:55:02.000 You know, I guess it was understood in the industry, but they didn't talk about it, but he didn't hide it, you know, it was one of those things.
00:55:07.000 It wasn't like Liberace, you know, back in the day, constantly asking when he was going to get married.
00:55:12.000 It was a different sort of a scenario, but Rob Halford got, he changed like metal.
00:55:17.000 They all started dressing like that. 0.98
00:55:19.000 They all started dressing like gay bikers. 1.00
00:55:21.000 And I think that during that time, everybody got so perplexed. 1.00
00:55:25.000 I think bad gay motherfuckers, just badass gay dudes infiltrated the music business and got everyone to dress like a homo. 1.00
00:55:33.000 Everyone was wearing spandex tights and their cock was pinned tight to their pants. 1.00
00:55:38.000 And their makeup. 1.00
00:55:38.000 Everybody looked like transsexuals. 1.00
00:55:40.000 But that's not for women. 1.00
00:55:42.000 Like, that flowing lock thing with the tight pants.
00:55:46.000 Chick's like the Marlboro Man, okay? 1.00
00:55:48.000 They want a guy who's built like Don Frye, who's got, like, they know he's got a six-pack under that, like, fucking cowboy shirt, but they don't want to see it on the outside. 0.98
00:55:57.000 That's a guy thing. 0.99
00:55:59.000 Like, guys want to see, like, yoga pants on a chick. 1.00
00:56:02.000 Like, a girl can walk down the street with yoga pants and a camel toe. 1.00
00:56:06.000 Totally acceptable. 0.99
00:56:07.000 If a guy walked down the street with fucking ballet tights on and no shirt, Jesus Christ, is Hugh Jackman... 0.99
00:56:14.000 That's not real. 0.99
00:56:15.000 No, it's not.
00:56:17.000 Come on, that's not real.
00:56:18.000 That guy's face is photoshopped. 1.00
00:56:19.000 You're so full of shit. 1.00
00:56:20.000 Look at that guy on the left. 1.00
00:56:21.000 Tell me his face is photoshopped.
00:56:23.000 That's not real.
00:56:23.000 Look at the lighting.
00:56:24.000 The lighting is totally different.
00:56:26.000 That's not real.
00:56:27.000 Their shadows are in the wrong direction.
00:56:29.000 Hugh Jackman's shadow is coming towards us.
00:56:31.000 This guy's shadow is going towards his left shoulder.
00:56:34.000 Come on, son.
00:56:34.000 That's not real.
00:56:35.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00
00:56:37.000 How dare you? 1.00
00:56:37.000 Think that dude's HTH-ing? 1.00
00:56:40.000 Probably, yeah.
00:56:40.000 If he's smart.
00:56:41.000 Shred it out, bro. 0.93
00:56:43.000 We were, for whatever reason, Brian was obsessed with the fact that Hugh Jackman was gay.
00:56:49.000 He wouldn't stop talking about it. 1.00
00:56:50.000 His fucking hands were moving. 1.00
00:56:51.000 He kept puffing on the glass dick. 1.00
00:56:53.000 He was like, I hear Hugh Jackman's gay. 1.00
00:56:57.000 There's multiple pictures of him holding hands with guys.
00:57:01.000 Come on, son. 1.00
00:57:01.000 There's multiple pictures of me with big black dicks in my mouth. 1.00
00:57:04.000 Yeah, but I did it. 0.99
00:57:05.000 Hold on a second.
00:57:07.000 Back that up, because one of those look real.
00:57:09.000 Go ahead. 1.00
00:57:09.000 Go piss, you weak-blattered son of a bitch. 1.00
00:57:11.000 Who's the guy with the beard? 1.00
00:57:13.000 He's a Wolverine fan.
00:57:14.000 He's telling them how watching that movie made him cure cancer.
00:57:18.000 That's what it is.
00:57:20.000 So Hugh Jackman's the guy on the right.
00:57:22.000 Let me see, is he really holding that guy's hand, or is that a perspective thing?
00:57:24.000 No, that looked like a perspective thing. 0.98
00:57:26.000 Who cares if he's gay? 1.00
00:57:28.000 But it's a weird thing, like a chick can be gay, like a Jodie Foster, and everyone knows she's gay, she's out, it's all good, and she could play... 0.99
00:57:36.000 Okay, that is super gay. 0.99
00:57:38.000 God, what a sexy beast he is. 1.00
00:57:41.000 That's frolic.
00:57:41.000 He looks so big.
00:57:48.000 But, you know, if a woman like Jodie Foster decides to come out and, you know, proclaims that she's gay, that's not real either.
00:57:55.000 Stop it.
00:57:56.000 Just stop.
00:57:57.000 Stop now.
00:57:58.000 He's like, woo, I lost my pants. 1.00
00:58:00.000 What's this guy doing sucking my cock? 1.00
00:58:02.000 I didn't plan this. 1.00
00:58:05.000 A woman can still play a heterosexual woman, but a man has a really hard time.
00:58:10.000 Unless it's the dude on How I Met Your Mother.
00:58:13.000 What's his name?
00:58:15.000 Neil Patrick Harris. 0.99
00:58:16.000 Neil Patrick Harris is gay. 0.94
00:58:17.000 Because he's so lovable. 0.96
00:58:18.000 Yeah.
00:58:19.000 Well, he's not just lovable.
00:58:20.000 He plays a guy who's like a ladies' man on the show. 0.53
00:58:24.000 Which is quite hilarious.
00:58:26.000 You know why I think though?
00:58:28.000 It's a comedy.
00:58:29.000 From that Howard Kumar movie where he plays such a pimp, I think that's kind of burnt in people's thoughts still.
00:58:35.000 I never saw that movie so I have no idea what that's about.
00:58:37.000 The White Castle?
00:58:38.000 Never saw it.
00:58:38.000 Never?
00:58:39.000 No.
00:58:39.000 But he's a funny guy and a talented actor.
00:58:41.000 I think that's more likely than anything.
00:58:43.000 And I think we're in a different time.
00:58:45.000 I think people like supporting the idea of a guy being out and open.
00:58:49.000 Especially in Hollywood, that's like the place where people...
00:58:52.000 But when it comes to movies, movies are a different animal.
00:58:56.000 Because movies, you've got to sell tickets. 0.99
00:58:58.000 You've got to sell hard fucking tickets. 0.99
00:59:01.000 And if the Midwest... 0.99
00:59:03.000 No worries, I'm just talking. 0.99
00:59:04.000 If the Midwest comes over and they see that some big gay guy like Hugh Jackman is in some fucking movie where he's playing the girlfriend to... 0.99
00:59:13.000 Who's the chick that's always on Sports Illustrated? 1.00
00:59:15.000 Kate Upton.
00:59:16.000 Oh, yeah.
00:59:18.000 She's playing Kate Upton's husband. 0.99
00:59:20.000 You're going to be like, get the fuck out of here. 1.00
00:59:21.000 Yeah, he's gay. 1.00
00:59:22.000 Look at that picture. 0.99
00:59:23.000 That's it.
00:59:23.000 He wins.
00:59:24.000 He wins.
00:59:25.000 He wins.
00:59:26.000 He's big. 0.99
00:59:26.000 He's gay. 0.99
00:59:26.000 He's beautiful. 0.99
00:59:27.000 He's got it both ways.
00:59:29.000 The New York Times apparently wrote a thing about him being bi, right?
00:59:32.000 That's what you guys are saying?
00:59:33.000 But I think that's just someone's wishful thinking because he does musicals.
00:59:37.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:59:38.000 If you like theater, musical theater, apparently you gotta be gay. 1.00
00:59:42.000 But imagine if you were straight, how much ass you'd be crushing. 1.00
00:59:45.000 Because it'd be you, a bunch of gay dudes, and chicks. 1.00
00:59:49.000 Everywhere. 0.99
00:59:50.000 If you were in musical theater?
00:59:51.000 Yeah, if you were a straight guy in musical theater.
00:59:53.000 You really think women are the primary viewers of musical theater? 1.00
00:59:57.000 I think there's...
00:59:57.000 I mean, acting and dancing...
01:00:00.000 How dare you?
01:00:00.000 Dancers in musical theater?
01:00:02.000 Just push your seat back and think this over.
01:00:04.000 Put your hand on your chin like this. 0.99
01:00:07.000 Does that fucking make sense? 0.99
01:00:08.000 No. 1.00
01:00:09.000 The whole room is not gay. 1.00
01:00:11.000 The whole audience isn't gay. 0.92
01:00:12.000 It's mostly gay and menopausal women. 0.99
01:00:13.000 That's who goes to see musicals. 0.66
01:00:15.000 And a few confused young girls who eventually abandon the art form.
01:00:18.000 And they just go to rock concerts?
01:00:20.000 Yeah, they want to look cool in college.
01:00:21.000 They say, oh my god, I love musicals. 1.00
01:00:23.000 And then they go and they realize musicals are dog shit. 1.00
01:00:25.000 If it was any good, it would be in a goddamn movie. 1.00
01:00:27.000 Alright? 0.99
01:00:27.000 You'd be able to see things happen. 0.99
01:00:29.000 Real monsters.
01:00:29.000 Book of Mormon is amazing.
01:00:30.000 Explosions.
01:00:31.000 It is.
01:00:32.000 But it's more like a comedy performance than it is a musical.
01:00:36.000 I mean, they call it a musical.
01:00:38.000 But it's really like a sketch comedy performance, like a Saturday Night Live piece that goes on for an hour and a half.
01:00:44.000 I mean, that's really what it's like.
01:00:45.000 It's brilliant.
01:00:45.000 It's so good.
01:00:46.000 But to call that a musical?
01:00:47.000 No.
01:00:48.000 Musicals are drab. 1.00
01:00:50.000 There's songs in there about romance and love and the two people meet again. 0.65
01:00:56.000 They're nonsense.
01:00:57.000 We have movies now.
01:00:59.000 If you want to...
01:01:00.000 You tell me Chicago, chicks don't like the musical Chicago? 1.00
01:01:04.000 They love the dancing and stuff? 1.00
01:01:05.000 I've seen the musical Chicago, and it is dog shit. 0.99
01:01:09.000 I know, but you're not the... 1.00
01:01:10.000 It's dog shit, and I went to watch a very good friend of mine. 0.99
01:01:13.000 I went to support her and sit there and watch Chicago. 1.00
01:01:16.000 And when it was the halfway through, we were all sitting around, we were all talking...
01:01:20.000 And we're like, so what do you think?
01:01:21.000 Well, it's really, really good.
01:01:22.000 Like, everybody was like, you know, like hedging the words. 0.99
01:01:24.000 I go, it's dog shit. 1.00
01:01:26.000 It's unwatchable dog shit. 1.00
01:01:28.000 And finally, the older gentleman in the group who we look to for guidance, he goes, I've never been a fan of the art form. 1.00
01:01:34.000 It's fucking terrible. 0.96
01:01:34.000 And we were like, it's not good, right? 0.96
01:01:36.000 Like, what's going on here?
01:01:37.000 Like, go see.
01:01:38.000 They don't do cats anymore, but if you went to see cats... 0.99
01:01:41.000 Halfway through Cats, you'd be like, what the fuck am I watching? 0.98
01:01:45.000 What are you doing to me here? 0.99
01:01:47.000 This is a murderous assault on my attention span.
01:01:51.000 And somehow or another, you've convinced two...
01:01:53.000 I'm sure a lot of people think that in my act.
01:01:55.000 But that's fine.
01:01:56.000 You don't have to go see it.
01:01:57.000 Alright?
01:01:58.000 Some people like it.
01:01:59.000 Some people like cats.
01:02:00.000 I get that as well.
01:02:02.000 I just don't understand those people.
01:02:03.000 At all.
01:02:05.000 Have you heard of...
01:02:06.000 Have you heard of that movie where guys all act like horses?
01:02:12.000 I heard that's pretty sweet.
01:02:14.000 I think you should go.
01:02:16.000 You should go and give a full...
01:02:17.000 Lions King?
01:02:19.000 You wouldn't see Lions King? 1.00
01:02:20.000 Fuck out of here. 1.00
01:02:22.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00
01:02:24.000 I saw Cirque du Soleil and that was dope. 0.99
01:02:27.000 Cirque du Soleil, because it's like watching the Olympics with music. 0.99
01:02:32.000 It's like, you're watching people do shit that's impossible. 0.98
01:02:35.000 Guys are doing handstands, and they have a woman attached to their hand, and they're supporting her. 0.99
01:02:41.000 They have one hand on the ground, one hand up in the air that's holding a woman. 0.98
01:02:44.000 You're like, how are you even fucking doing that? 0.73
01:02:48.000 There's guys that are doing handstands on each other's arms. 0.99
01:02:50.000 Unbelievable.
01:02:51.000 It's insane.
01:02:52.000 You feel so weak and feeble when you go to see- more so than going to see the UFC. You feel weak and feeble when you go to Cirque du Soleil.
01:03:01.000 Because you watch them do things and you're like, how long would it take me to even come close to be able to- fuck, I can't do that. 0.99
01:03:07.000 If I had those skills, I'd become a ninja. 0.99
01:03:09.000 Didn't someone die recently at Cirque du Soleil?
01:03:11.000 Yeah.
01:03:11.000 They did, right?
01:03:12.000 No, it was Ringling Brothers.
01:03:14.000 No, no, it was both.
01:03:15.000 It was Cirque du Soleil and then there was like nine people that died.
01:03:18.000 I went and saw a show where the guy missed the thing, and he just fell, and the whole room was just quiet.
01:03:26.000 How was he?
01:03:27.000 He got back up, but man, I'm sure he took a beating off stage.
01:03:31.000 How far did he fall?
01:03:32.000 Only like about six or seven feet, I guess.
01:03:37.000 Oh, that's still, man.
01:03:38.000 Jump from the ceiling. 0.99
01:03:39.000 That would fuck you up. 0.99
01:03:40.000 And fall? 1.00
01:03:41.000 How tall is that ceiling?
01:03:42.000 Is that about eight feet?
01:03:43.000 Yeah, it's gotta be more than that.
01:03:45.000 Like 10?
01:03:46.000 8?
01:03:47.000 8, 9 to the drop ceiling?
01:03:48.000 Let's go 9. Okay, let's go 9. You know, that would suck.
01:03:52.000 That would suck. 0.99
01:03:53.000 That would suck. 1.00
01:03:54.000 And hurt. 0.99
01:03:55.000 Boom! 0.99
01:03:56.000 We're so weak. 1.00
01:03:57.000 My cat is 17 fucking years old. 1.00
01:03:59.000 I got a cat that I've had forever, man. 0.99
01:04:02.000 My sister gave him to me.
01:04:03.000 Her to me.
01:04:04.000 She had a bunch of kittens. 0.97
01:04:06.000 They were all these wacky kittens.
01:04:08.000 And her cat, she had this one cat.
01:04:11.000 Wacky kittens.
01:04:11.000 They lived in this rural place and they didn't fix their cat and their cat wound up getting Fucked by some other cat.
01:04:17.000 Oh, I've heard cats fucking outside my door. 0.99
01:04:19.000 It sounds like murder is going on. 1.00
01:04:21.000 Well, anybody who does that and releases a male cat, you're creating a real fucking problem. 1.00
01:04:27.000 An unspayed female cat, you're creating a real fucking problem. 1.00
01:04:31.000 Feral cats are a fucking huge issue. 1.00
01:04:33.000 Not just because of the fact that they... 0.99
01:04:36.000 We're good to go.
01:04:58.000 Yeah, and it's super common. 0.99
01:05:00.000 And it also, the cat shit gets in the meat. 1.00
01:05:02.000 It's like a real issue with fucking cats. 1.00
01:05:06.000 Isn't there something about some bacteria or a virus that gets into a mouse's head and tells it to run inside the... 1.00
01:05:13.000 It's a rat.
01:05:15.000 What it does is, I've talked about this many times in this podcast, but it's been a long time, more than a year. 0.95
01:05:21.000 The way it works is it rewires the rat's sexual reward system. 0.93
01:05:27.000 It makes the rat attracted, sexually attracted to the smell of cat piss to the point where his testes swell up and he's in estrus. 0.99
01:05:37.000 He's hurting. 1.00
01:05:38.000 He's got blue balls because he smells this cat piss. 0.99
01:05:42.000 Like Red Band on Hot Rod 5000? 0.99
01:05:44.000 Like Red Band all day.
01:05:45.000 All day.
01:05:46.000 All day.
01:05:47.000 So he's essentially on a double dose of Cialis with an added...
01:05:53.000 Acorns.
01:05:54.000 Well, it does a weird thing to their fear system.
01:05:58.000 It hijacks their fear system, so they're not afraid of cats anymore.
01:06:02.000 This video, pull up this video, Brian.
01:06:06.000 It's Toxoplasmosis Infected Rat Chases Cat.
01:06:11.000 This rat is running after the cat, trying to get some cat piss. 1.00
01:06:15.000 It's like running up to the cat's ass. 1.00
01:06:18.000 It has no fear of the cats. 0.99
01:06:19.000 So, cats eat these rats, and then the cats get it, and apparently it doesn't really affect the behavior of the cats, because cats are evil from the jump.
01:06:29.000 They're evil from the jump.
01:06:30.000 They're evil from the jump.
01:06:31.000 It doesn't make them more evil. 1.00
01:06:32.000 They don't give a fuck anyway. 1.00
01:06:33.000 They're like the worst roommate ever. 1.00
01:06:34.000 They're like... 1.00
01:06:35.000 Pick up my shit, feed me, I'm outta here. 1.00
01:06:37.000 This is the video. 1.00
01:06:38.000 These cats are like, what the fuck is going on? 0.99
01:06:40.000 Now look, this rat, you can kill the language, but this rat starts going towards these cats, and he's like literally trying to get at their bag. 1.00
01:06:53.000 Give me that butt! 1.00
01:06:54.000 Look, that rat is not afraid of- he just jumped on that cat's back! 0.99
01:06:58.000 Look how crazy that is! 1.00
01:06:59.000 Give me that butt! 1.00
01:07:00.000 Yo, dude, how crazy is that? 0.99
01:07:01.000 That rat just jumped on that cat's back. 1.00
01:07:05.000 They're not afraid of cats at all.
01:07:08.000 Like, how does that even happen?
01:07:10.000 Rats are gangster, man. 0.75
01:07:11.000 They really are gangster animals. 0.98
01:07:13.000 But why does that virus come around or that bacteria, whatever it is?
01:07:17.000 And how does that form?
01:07:18.000 And how did it know to do that to that mouse and make that happen?
01:07:21.000 There's only one answer.
01:07:22.000 Jesus.
01:07:23.000 It is the Jesus, man.
01:07:25.000 Jesus is the answer.
01:07:27.000 It must be God.
01:07:28.000 Why, Jesus?
01:07:30.000 Yeah, well, look.
01:07:30.000 God has a plan, Sam.
01:07:31.000 He has a plan for that cat's ass? 1.00
01:07:34.000 Yes. 1.00
01:07:34.000 Yes. 1.00
01:07:35.000 There's people right now that are angry.
01:07:37.000 They're angry.
01:07:37.000 And you know why you're angry?
01:07:38.000 You know why you're angry? 0.98
01:07:39.000 Because what I'm saying makes you feel like what you believe is silly. 0.89
01:07:43.000 And do you know why? 0.86
01:07:44.000 Why?
01:07:45.000 Wait for it. 0.99
01:07:46.000 Because what you believe is silly. 1.00
01:07:48.000 Silly talk. 1.00
01:07:49.000 If it wasn't silly, I wouldn't be able to make you angry. 0.99
01:07:52.000 If people were joking around about men want to have sex with women, what, because it feels good? 0.98
01:08:01.000 You'd be like, okay.
01:08:03.000 That's the reason why heterophobic doesn't work. 1.00
01:08:07.000 If homophobic people are looking at us like, ew, what are you, you fuck girls? 1.00
01:08:11.000 Ew. 1.00
01:08:12.000 What are you, a breeder?
01:08:14.000 Ew.
01:08:14.000 You'd be like, okay, you're just being mean.
01:08:16.000 You're not hurting my feelings. 0.99
01:08:17.000 I feel your mean energy, but this shit doesn't work. 0.97
01:08:20.000 It doesn't change how I feel about life. 0.99
01:08:23.000 You know?
01:08:24.000 That's what's going on, Sam.
01:08:25.000 I get it, man.
01:08:26.000 It's just weird.
01:08:27.000 And I was talking about this on stage the other day about how like...
01:08:30.000 Is this a bit?
01:08:31.000 Are you working on another bit right now?
01:08:32.000 No, but I'm just saying that it goes along the lines of what you're saying.
01:08:36.000 It's just like, you know, there's all this...
01:08:40.000 Yeah.
01:09:00.000 People allow this to happen, and it doesn't.
01:09:02.000 Yeah.
01:09:03.000 And so, what are you saying about it? 0.96
01:09:05.000 Because if, like, all this stuff where you're like, you shouldn't pay for sex, you shouldn't do drugs, you shouldn't do all this shit, because it gets the, you know, the God. 0.95
01:09:13.000 Yeah, in Amsterdam, all that is legal, and there's not fires coming from the skies, and monkey, flying monkeys, teabagging everybody, and, you know, it's just, like, it's been proven that that... 0.86
01:09:26.000 Well, suppression is not good for people.
01:09:27.000 They don't like it.
01:09:28.000 It's a bad way to raise children.
01:09:30.000 It's a bad way to raise a nation.
01:09:32.000 Right.
01:09:32.000 It's just people don't like suppression.
01:09:34.000 It's really that simple.
01:09:35.000 They don't like it.
01:09:36.000 They get upset.
01:09:37.000 You're another person, and you're telling a guy what to do. 0.99
01:09:39.000 You're telling a guy he can't jerk off. 0.98
01:09:40.000 What does that guy want to do? 1.00
01:09:42.000 He wants to jerk off as soon as he gets away from you. 1.00
01:09:44.000 He wants to bolt doors and just jerk off in privacy and then feel terrible about it and then repent and... 1.00
01:09:50.000 It just makes no sense.
01:09:52.000 You know Kellogg's, the guy from the cereal, Kellogg's cereal?
01:09:56.000 You've got to read this book, Sex at Dawn, by this guy, Chris Ryan.
01:10:00.000 He's a podcast guest, fascinating guy.
01:10:03.000 I've read that book.
01:10:04.000 I've done a bunch of podcasts with him and Duncan Trussell.
01:10:07.000 He's a really interesting guy.
01:10:08.000 But one of the things that he set me hip to was like, Kellogg's, you can find this online, created cornflakes, created mild-tasting food to keep people from getting sexually aroused.
01:10:18.000 Said that he lived with his wife for like 40 years and bragged about never having had sex with her, but kept a male intern who would give him daily enemas. 0.99
01:10:30.000 That's fucking Kellogg's. 0.99
01:10:32.000 So think about that. 1.00
01:10:33.000 Repressing sexual thoughts.
01:10:36.000 Unbelievable.
01:10:37.000 And actively, actively repressing sexual thoughts. 0.99
01:10:40.000 And yet, obviously fighting off the gay. 1.00
01:10:42.000 Tooth, claw, and fang. 1.00
01:10:45.000 Right? 1.00
01:10:45.000 Obviously fighting off the gay. 1.00
01:10:47.000 The guy had a male assistant who used to give him animus. 1.00
01:10:50.000 That mustache is gay. 1.00
01:10:50.000 He's gay as fuck. 1.00
01:10:51.000 Look at that. 1.00
01:10:52.000 That's a cinema face, boy.
01:10:54.000 Put a leather paperboy cap on him, and no shirt, and cut off jeans.
01:10:59.000 Okay.
01:11:00.000 You see it.
01:11:01.000 Please do.
01:11:01.000 Let me do it right now.
01:11:02.000 That's your project now.
01:11:03.000 I mean, if you see that guy's face...
01:11:05.000 What a great podcast.
01:11:06.000 You probably get an even better picture of him. 0.99
01:11:08.000 Where you could go full fucking body. 0.99
01:11:10.000 And then go with the color-specific thing. 0.98
01:11:13.000 Don't make it an obvious Photoshop.
01:11:14.000 Make it really look real. 0.99
01:11:16.000 I wonder if she was getting a dick on the side. 1.00
01:11:18.000 Mrs. Kellogg's. 1.00
01:11:19.000 Oh, Mrs. Kellogg was fucking her personal trainer. 1.00
01:11:21.000 They didn't even have personal trainers back then. 0.99
01:11:23.000 She invented it.
01:11:24.000 She invented it.
01:11:25.000 She invented it just so she could have somebody touch me.
01:11:29.000 Did Jesus touch me?
01:11:32.000 Unbelievable.
01:11:33.000 Well, that's people, man.
01:11:35.000 People that are suppressing other people are usually doing it to try to suppress something in themselves.
01:11:40.000 That's why a lot of conservatives, I just...
01:11:42.000 It's like you're lying.
01:11:44.000 I think a lot...
01:11:44.000 I'm not judging all, but it's like when you sit there and you say, oh, you shouldn't do this, this, and this, most of the time you're doing this, this, and this.
01:11:51.000 You just want to put laws on other people.
01:11:53.000 Like...
01:11:54.000 I go to Arizona a lot to do gigs, and it's a fun state to do gigs, but they have all these crazy laws.
01:11:59.000 Yeah, they party more than anybody I know.
01:12:03.000 Yeah.
01:12:03.000 So it's like they're just making laws for other people.
01:12:06.000 That doesn't apply to them.
01:12:08.000 Why do you think that is?
01:12:09.000 What do you think that is?
01:12:10.000 I don't get it.
01:12:11.000 I don't know why, man.
01:12:12.000 Fear, right?
01:12:12.000 It's fear.
01:12:14.000 It's also, here's the other problem with fear and this idea of everyone should be loving.
01:12:20.000 There's certain folks that are already done.
01:12:23.000 See, this is one of the real problems, okay?
01:12:26.000 This is one of the real problems with society as a whole, cultural in general, and just human interaction.
01:12:32.000 This is one of the real problems.
01:12:34.000 Is that some people are already done.
01:12:38.000 Somebody's made them, they've done a piss poor job of feeding them, raising them, and then sending them out into the world. 1.00
01:12:45.000 And they're fucked. 1.00
01:12:47.000 These people are fucked. 1.00
01:12:48.000 Out the gate sometimes. 1.00
01:12:49.000 And if you can run into those people, they can ruin your fucking life. 1.00
01:12:53.000 And that's a fact. 0.99
01:12:55.000 There's no way of fixing them either, by the way. 0.99
01:12:57.000 They might fix themselves, but it depends on the severity of how fucked up they are. 0.99
01:13:02.000 Some people are too far fucked. 1.00
01:13:04.000 You never bring them back. 0.99
01:13:06.000 And those people are out there wandering through the world too. 0.99
01:13:10.000 When people see that, and they see that you can't treat that with love, and some people say, well, you gotta treat them with love, and they go, oh, you fucking liberals will ruin everything! 0.67
01:13:19.000 And then you have this division between people that are conservative and that care, and then people who are liberal that care, and the liberal people think the conservatives are cruel, and the conservative people think that the liberals have, you know, some idealized view of the world that doesn't work, 0.85
01:13:34.000 and only works because hard men are out there doing the bad deeds to keep the world safe, Yes.
01:13:43.000 Yes. 0.99
01:14:06.000 And that's why we need to figure out how, first and foremost, how to fix people that are fucked up. 0.98
01:14:13.000 That should be before we talk about going to Mars, before we talk... 0.95
01:14:16.000 What we should be concentrating as a whole, as a culture, is not just like... 0.95
01:14:23.000 Figuring out how to fucking frack or figuring out how to pull out of Afghanistan. 1.00
01:14:27.000 How do we fix all these fucking crazy people? 1.00
01:14:29.000 How do we fix them? 1.00
01:14:31.000 Can you fix them?
01:14:32.000 Could it be done with mushrooms and MDMA and electroshock therapy?
01:14:36.000 Can we change their blood? 1.00
01:14:38.000 Can we add artificial fucking genes to their system that induces empathy? 1.00
01:14:43.000 Is there a way? 0.99
01:14:44.000 If there's not a way, then we're always going to have this vicious cycle. 0.97
01:14:48.000 Of dealing with shitty people, shitty people making more shitty people, shitty people fucking shitty people up, people dealing with people who fucked them up, their whole life in therapy, their whole life constantly talking about the abuse that happened to them when they were young because it's defined them as a person. 0.99
01:15:01.000 And I also feel that there's so many people making money off of shitty people. 0.99
01:15:06.000 You know, the drug war, the privatized prisons and stuff like that, that you're fighting against this group who, it's not in their best interest that these people get fixed. 0.90
01:15:17.000 Yeah, well, it's like anything else.
01:15:19.000 Anything that comes along, even if it's a legit issue, like...
01:15:24.000 Global climate change.
01:15:25.000 You know, the real issue that a lot of people have when it comes to global climate change is when you see a guy like Al Gore who's made a fuckload of money off of climate change and people start saying, oh, it's a business.
01:15:35.000 These guys, they have a vested interest.
01:15:36.000 There's thousands and thousands of people.
01:15:38.000 Like, yes. 0.99
01:15:39.000 But still, the world, the fucking, the climate is changing. 0.99
01:15:43.000 Right. 0.99
01:15:43.000 You know, but yes, yes, people are making money off it. 0.99
01:15:45.000 But it doesn't mean that it's all bullshit. 0.99
01:15:47.000 Like, there's a lot going on here, man. 0.98
01:15:49.000 It's not a, it's like almost everything else in life.
01:15:51.000 It's not a black and white issue. 0.98
01:15:53.000 There's a whole lot of different fucking things going on. 0.99
01:15:55.000 There's, there's people that are bad. 0.99
01:15:57.000 Yes.
01:15:57.000 And then there's a problem.
01:15:58.000 And then there's people that are bad that, that profit off of a real problem, too.
01:16:02.000 Did you watch the last vice, or two vices ago, when they were doing about the drought in Texas?
01:16:08.000 Oh, I didn't see that one.
01:16:09.000 And people were just praying to God for this, and then they'd be like, do you believe in global warming?
01:16:13.000 Nah, not really.
01:16:14.000 But then they would have singing hymns to God.
01:16:17.000 It's just so interesting about how people manipulated other people to believe in their best interest.
01:16:26.000 Well, it's not just that, though.
01:16:28.000 It's also voluntary.
01:16:30.000 I've seen people that want to believe that the world is not changing temperature.
01:16:35.000 I've seen people that want to believe in global warming simply because it's like the conservative viewpoint.
01:16:41.000 They're like, oh, come on.
01:16:43.000 Right, because they've been told that from the top.
01:16:45.000 You know, I had this guy Randall Carlson on the podcast recently who talked about climate change throughout the history, the known history of the earth, and it was incredibly fascinating.
01:16:53.000 And he absolutely believes that human beings and our carbon footprint plays a part.
01:16:59.000 In global warming.
01:17:01.000 But he said the real issue is there's a lot of other factors that play a part and they have throughout history. 0.98
01:17:05.000 We're concerning ourselves primarily with what people have done and we have done a fucked up job on this earth.
01:17:11.000 He said, I'm more concerned with the particulate matter, like burning coal and pollution and stuff, what it does to our air quality, than I am the actual warming.
01:17:20.000 Because he started going off about global cooling and about what it used to be like here on Earth, and it was one of the most terrifying podcasts I've ever listened to.
01:17:30.000 Jesus!
01:17:31.000 Because he knows a lot. 0.98
01:17:32.000 And he's not just making shit up. 0.99
01:17:34.000 He's talking about ice core samples. 0.99
01:17:35.000 He's talking about known history.
01:17:36.000 Even just the known history.
01:17:38.000 Totally non-controversial known history that all scientists accept.
01:17:41.000 Is that 10,000 years ago, North America was almost entirely covered with ice.
01:17:46.000 And that there was a two mile high thick wall of ice over Canada.
01:17:52.000 Oh my god!
01:17:53.000 Two miles.
01:17:54.000 That is insane!
01:17:55.000 It's unbelievably insane.
01:17:57.000 It's unbelievably insane and it's a fact.
01:17:59.000 Oh, man.
01:17:59.000 That's real.
01:18:00.000 It's like this fine line between wanting to know the facts and just like it's out of my hands.
01:18:04.000 Dude, he was also talking about some, without a doubt, beyond a shadow of a doubt, factual evidence about the amount of species that used to exist during that time that died off.
01:18:15.000 A huge percentage of all the animals that were alive back then are gone.
01:18:21.000 That's just 10,000 years ago.
01:18:22.000 It was unbelievably scary.
01:18:24.000 So it's just a cycle in a weird way.
01:18:26.000 Well, it's not just a cycle.
01:18:27.000 He believes that it ended abruptly, and it probably ended because of a meteor impact.
01:18:32.000 Jesus.
01:18:32.000 That cycle was like how people dealt with life.
01:18:35.000 Just like those people that live up in Edmonton.
01:18:38.000 You know, the people that were in a place like Canada, there was nobody there. 0.95
01:18:41.000 The reason why there's so few fucking people in Canada and they're so cool is because they've only been there for a couple hundred years. 0.96
01:18:47.000 Everything's fresh and new, like a new chick. 0.99
01:18:48.000 Yeah, there was fucking nobody there. 0.99
01:18:50.000 There was Native Americans. 0.99
01:18:51.000 You know, some of them had ventured up there.
01:18:53.000 Excuse me.
01:18:54.000 But most of them... 0.98
01:18:56.000 Most of them fucking came around the same time that settlers came to North America, the Columbus days. 0.99
01:19:03.000 That's most of the people that wound up settling up there in Canada. 0.99
01:19:07.000 Before that, man, not much.
01:19:10.000 Why is that?
01:19:11.000 Because a few fucking thousand years ago, it was under ice. 0.96
01:19:14.000 Two miles. 0.98
01:19:14.000 Giant, giant glaciers. 0.98
01:19:17.000 Dude, when I was there, three feet dropped the day I flew in.
01:19:20.000 Dude.
01:19:21.000 Of snow.
01:19:21.000 I'm like, this is insane.
01:19:23.000 Like, giant walls of snow in between each lane as you're driving.
01:19:28.000 Where there should have been, like, traffic little things, man.
01:19:31.000 Boom! 0.99
01:19:33.000 Giant walls of snow.
01:19:34.000 And occasionally polar bears.
01:19:36.000 And occasionally polar bears.
01:19:37.000 I haven't seen one in Edmonton.
01:19:38.000 Well, in Edmonton, a woman was working on a rig recently.
01:19:41.000 She got killed, eaten alive by a black bear.
01:19:44.000 What?!
01:19:45.000 Yeah.
01:19:45.000 Oh!
01:19:46.000 Which is rare.
01:19:47.000 Black bears usually don't eat people.
01:19:48.000 But they catch you slipping.
01:19:51.000 Bears, you know, they'll look at you and go, hmm, I might be able to make this happen. 0.98
01:19:54.000 Let me chow down on that tasty hot pocket.
01:19:57.000 You know what they're really worried about?
01:19:58.000 They're really worried about hybrids.
01:20:00.000 Grizzlies and polar bears are apparently getting a freak on.
01:20:02.000 A little interracial?
01:20:06.000 So the hybrids are very different than the regular grizzlies.
01:20:10.000 Stronger, Blake Griffins?
01:20:11.000 Well, they're more like polar bears who are strictly carnivores. 0.98
01:20:14.000 So the difference between a grizzly bear and a polar bear is if you see a grizzly bear, that bear might not give a fuck about you.
01:20:20.000 If you see a grizzly bear out in the fields and they're eating berries, that bear might just look at you and go, I'm eating. 0.99
01:20:25.000 I don't give a fuck. 0.99
01:20:26.000 It's plenty of food. 0.99
01:20:26.000 He's not hungry at all. 0.99
01:20:27.000 So if a bear has a belly full of berries and it's just sitting there chewing along, he doesn't give a fuck at all. 0.97
01:20:33.000 But if a grizzly bear sees you and you're hungry, is that the guy? 0.98
01:20:36.000 And you've been hanging out. 0.99
01:20:38.000 Yeah, he looks pretty gay. 0.95
01:20:39.000 It's Kellogg. 0.96
01:20:40.000 Me and Kellogg.
01:20:41.000 I like your chest tattoo.
01:20:43.000 Yeah, it's very Brock Lesnar.
01:20:45.000 It's a new thing I'm working on.
01:20:47.000 Jesus.
01:20:48.000 A polar bear sees you, you better run.
01:20:51.000 Is it worth running?
01:20:52.000 Because all polar bears do is eat meat.
01:20:54.000 That's all they do.
01:20:55.000 So anything that's moving, a polar bear is going to eat.
01:20:57.000 There's no berries.
01:20:58.000 That's why I don't go where polar bears are.
01:21:00.000 That's a good move.
01:21:00.000 That's why I go to La Jolla, California.
01:21:02.000 That's a good move.
01:21:03.000 Where they laugh at me while I run.
01:21:04.000 There's a polar bear down in the zoo down there, though.
01:21:07.000 Be careful. 1.00
01:21:07.000 That motherfucker gets out. 1.00
01:21:08.000 You're doomed. 1.00
01:21:09.000 He'll find me because he sees how slow I run.
01:21:12.000 He'll give you the thumbs up.
01:21:13.000 He'll let you go. 0.99
01:21:14.000 It's like when you see a retarded fish. 1.00
01:21:16.000 You see a fish swimming sideways. 0.86
01:21:17.000 You don't try to snag it.
01:21:19.000 Let that one go.
01:21:20.000 Let that one go downriver. 0.80
01:21:21.000 Do you see all the sardines that are washing up in Venice right now?
01:21:25.000 Because the water got so hot that it's oxygen?
01:21:28.000 Tons and tons.
01:21:29.000 And so now sharks are just dying and all these fish keep are dying because there's no oxygen because there's so many sardines.
01:21:34.000 Yeah, they call that dead zones apparently.
01:21:36.000 It happens all the time in the ocean. 1.00
01:21:37.000 It smells like asshole. 1.00
01:21:39.000 Yeah, it's bad. 1.00
01:21:41.000 Not good asshole either. 0.99
01:21:42.000 They found out a way that they think they're going to be able to bring back plant vegetation and shit in the ocean and sort of reseed areas and re-oxygenate the ocean. 1.00
01:21:54.000 Oh, that's cool. 0.94
01:21:54.000 Oxygenate. 0.94
01:21:55.000 And it involves dumping iron in the water.
01:21:58.000 Like iron scraps and iron.
01:22:00.000 It's a really interesting thing.
01:22:02.000 I read about it.
01:22:03.000 I'll pull it up.
01:22:04.000 The idea was that dumping iron...
01:22:15.000 We're good to go.
01:22:27.000 Dumping iron in the ocean.
01:22:28.000 There are some people way smarter than I am.
01:22:30.000 Yes.
01:22:32.000 Yeah, in this room.
01:22:35.000 Dude, I'm a human being.
01:22:36.000 I know.
01:22:37.000 I hear you.
01:22:37.000 I have feelings.
01:22:39.000 I know you do.
01:22:40.000 Thank you, dude.
01:22:41.000 Jesus Christ.
01:22:42.000 What do you need?
01:22:42.000 A cookie?
01:22:43.000 There, I put you.
01:22:44.000 Yes.
01:22:45.000 Okay, stop.
01:22:46.000 That's enough.
01:22:48.000 Yeah, adding iron to the oceans, they're slowing down global warming.
01:22:54.000 This is the idea.
01:22:56.000 And they're throwing... 0.98
01:22:58.000 This is a weird fucking idea, but it kind of makes sense. 0.98
01:23:01.000 The premise is simple. 0.98
01:23:01.000 It says, Iron acts as a fertilizer for many plants, and some, like the phytoplankton that forms the baseline of marine food web, need to grow. 0.98
01:23:10.000 They need it to grow, and adding iron to the water stimulates phytoplankton growth, which in turn gobble up carbon dioxide through photosynthesis.
01:23:18.000 This results in a decrease in carbon dioxide...
01:23:22.000 And it reduces temperature since carbon dioxide is one of the main gases responsible for trapping heat on the Earth's surface through the greenhouse effect.
01:23:30.000 Interesting.
01:23:31.000 Unbelievable. 1.00
01:23:32.000 That's interesting shit. 0.99
01:23:34.000 Yeah, that's the other thing that this guy, Randall Carlson, was talking about is how this increase in carbon dioxide that we have, they're also directly correlating it with an increase in plant growth. 0.99
01:23:47.000 Which is kind of fucked, because we always think of people adding carbon dioxide to the air being a poison, and they were poisoning the air.
01:23:55.000 But the reality is that plants need carbon dioxide to grow. 0.99
01:23:58.000 So it's not saying that you should go out and burn carbon dioxide to fucking help the plants, but... 0.57
01:24:05.000 It's one of those things, again, where it's not black and white. 0.99
01:24:09.000 There's a lot of shit going on. 0.97
01:24:10.000 Well, isn't it that they're deforestation, they're cutting down the plants, meaning there's less plants to take in the CO2 and that's where the problem is right now? 0.99
01:24:17.000 No.
01:24:18.000 That's no.
01:24:19.000 Okay.
01:24:19.000 But what he's saying is there's more forest than before.
01:24:23.000 That forests are actually increasing in size.
01:24:25.000 And there's more plants.
01:24:27.000 The plant growth is actually increasing because of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
01:24:32.000 There's definitely a concern that people have like in the Amazon, a lot of different places that people are chopping down.
01:24:37.000 The real problem with what they're doing in the Amazon is that they're changing the whole weather system in those places.
01:24:43.000 Because these plants, they're responsible for like, the whole ecosystem is wrapped around these plants.
01:24:49.000 And you chop them down, then you have these dry areas just exposed to the sun.
01:24:52.000 Where they weren't exposed to the sun before because there's this deep canopy of leaves and the rain, the moisture stays there.
01:24:59.000 Yeah, this is just flat.
01:25:00.000 And so then it becomes, they don't have the root system, so then you get mudslides, and then the ground, it becomes very difficult to grow crops on it. 0.89
01:25:09.000 It's really kind of fucking crazy, like, what they're doing.
01:25:11.000 They're just chopping down trees, and thousands and thousands of acres, just... 0.94
01:25:16.000 Deforestation.
01:25:18.000 Yeah.
01:25:19.000 That's not good.
01:25:20.000 What about cows farting?
01:25:21.000 Do you ever buy into that, that that's a big problem?
01:25:24.000 I always feel like they just picked something that they could blame it on, and...
01:25:28.000 Like, there's way more people...
01:25:29.000 No, but the amount of impact that a cow has is way more powerful than the amount of impact that a person has.
01:25:35.000 But there's way more people!
01:25:38.000 Yes, cow farts are dangerous.
01:25:39.000 Like for every cow, there's probably what?
01:25:41.000 100, 200, 300, 400 people?
01:25:44.000 I don't know, but here it says- My dad can crush the ecosystem.
01:25:48.000 Scientists say cow farts are more dangerous than they feared.
01:25:51.000 This is true, man.
01:25:52.000 This is a real study.
01:25:53.000 The study has revealed that the amount of methane, a greenhouse gas, 20 times more potent but far less prevalent than CO2. So it would be 20 cows to every person to balance that out.
01:26:05.000 Or 20 people to every cow, rather, to balance that out.
01:26:08.000 Because it's 20 times more potent if a cow was the size of a person.
01:26:12.000 But a cow is way bigger than a person, so it's even more.
01:26:14.000 So a cow is probably five times bigger than a person.
01:26:16.000 So instead of 20 times, it's probably 100 times more impact.
01:26:19.000 That's my...
01:26:21.000 A cow fart is destroying the environment.
01:26:26.000 That's crazy.
01:26:27.000 Yeah.
01:26:39.000 And processing, i.e.
01:26:42.000 oil or natural gas, are likely a factor of two or greater than cited in existing studies.
01:26:48.000 Whoa.
01:26:48.000 So agriculture just by itself is a big impact.
01:26:53.000 Unbelievable.
01:26:55.000 Yeah.
01:26:56.000 Cows.
01:26:57.000 Methane. 1.00
01:26:57.000 Methane is a fucking issue, though, man. 1.00
01:26:59.000 When I used to visit my parents, my parents used to live in Pennsylvania and I just drive from New York to rural Pennsylvania and there's this stretch of highway where it's all farms, dairy farms and slaughterhouses and shit. 1.00
01:27:13.000 I guess it's all cows. 0.99
01:27:14.000 It's unbelievably bad smelling. 1.00
01:27:17.000 Like you can't imagine these poor fucking people that have to live in these areas. 0.99
01:27:22.000 And it was hot. 0.99
01:27:22.000 It was in the summer. 0.99
01:27:23.000 Some people just accept that.
01:27:24.000 It goes back to Edmonton.
01:27:25.000 Some people just accept that.
01:27:26.000 I'm from kind of that area.
01:27:28.000 I'm from Cortland, New York, which is Pennsylvania and Cortland are the same kind of country.
01:27:34.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:27:34.000 I have tons of cows in my hometown, man.
01:27:38.000 Really?
01:27:39.000 Yeah.
01:27:39.000 I mean, I didn't realize how redneck my hometown was until I left it.
01:27:43.000 What does it smell like when you go back?
01:27:45.000 Because they say that olfactory senses, like the sense of smell, is something that alters.
01:27:54.000 It only picks up alterations in smell.
01:27:57.000 It doesn't pick up constant smells.
01:27:59.000 So if you live in a town, a town stinks.
01:28:02.000 Like some of those industrial pollution places in New Jersey, when you're driving through New Jersey and you smell industrial pollution, those towns, they don't smell it.
01:28:10.000 You only smell it because you're driving from fresh air or reasonably fresh air into that area.
01:28:15.000 That's how it used to be when I went to Niagara Falls.
01:28:17.000 They had this giant factory called Hooker Chemicals.
01:28:20.000 And that's what the name of it was.
01:28:21.000 Hooker Chemicals.
01:28:22.000 And you would drive in and you're like, this stinks.
01:28:25.000 Like paper plants.
01:28:26.000 Paper plants stink.
01:28:27.000 Like up in Portland.
01:28:28.000 Now here's the thing about Hooker Chemicals. 1.00
01:28:30.000 It's pretty much been closed down.
01:28:32.000 But they won't completely close it down.
01:28:33.000 Because if they completely close it down, then they're going to have to go through and clean it up.
01:28:38.000 The environmental cleanup.
01:28:39.000 So they just keep like...
01:28:41.000 30 employees in this giant factory that's just huge and they just keep it open.
01:28:48.000 Because it's cheaper for them to do that than it is for them to hire someone to come in and clean it up.
01:28:52.000 That makes sense.
01:28:53.000 There was something, Love Canal, do you remember the old Love Canal thing?
01:28:57.000 That's Hooker Chemicals. 1.00
01:28:59.000 They dumped all these...
01:29:00.000 That's the same company?
01:29:01.000 Yep.
01:29:02.000 And they're still open?
01:29:03.000 Yeah, and they won't close it down because then they have to clean up the environmental mistakes.
01:29:09.000 That's awful.
01:29:10.000 That's weird that they let him get away with that.
01:29:13.000 Well, yeah, it's crazy.
01:29:15.000 Is it because it's like one of those legacy companies because it's been around for a long time?
01:29:18.000 I think that's just probably the rule.
01:29:20.000 If you demolish or shut something down, you've got to clean it up so it's environmentally safe.
01:29:24.000 And so these guys just keep it going because it's cheaper to do that. 0.99
01:29:27.000 That is so fucked up. 1.00
01:29:30.000 That's so weird. 1.00
01:29:31.000 Well, it's the same thing with like...
01:29:35.000 Really?
01:29:45.000 Yeah, if something's cheaper, they go with the cheaper option.
01:29:48.000 Oh man, I'm not sure dude, I'm not sure.
01:29:51.000 I'm not sure.
01:29:53.000 I'm not sure about that.
01:29:54.000 I think they do do that.
01:29:55.000 I think that was the big thing on...
01:29:57.000 What was the... 1.00
01:29:58.000 You gotta pull that shit up. 1.00
01:30:00.000 You can't just say that. 1.00
01:30:01.000 That is, if it's cheaper to go to court, they'll go to court.
01:30:09.000 But if it's... 1.00
01:30:10.000 Oh, you shut the fuck up, dude. 1.00
01:30:12.000 Seriously. 1.00
01:30:14.000 Okay, I'll shut up.
01:30:16.000 You gotta Google that. 0.89
01:30:17.000 You can't say that.
01:30:18.000 You can't say that when it comes to cars, man.
01:30:20.000 Everything.
01:30:20.000 Comes to any major corporation.
01:30:22.000 They'll do the...
01:30:23.000 What's gonna cost us more?
01:30:24.000 A recall or going to court?
01:30:26.000 If a recall's cheaper, they'll do that.
01:30:29.000 If court's cheaper, they'll go to...
01:30:30.000 I've heard it.
01:30:31.000 I don't...
01:30:33.000 You can't just say that.
01:30:34.000 When you say something like that, you've got to really know what you're saying.
01:30:38.000 I do.
01:30:38.000 But you're saying GM. You're saying a specific company.
01:30:41.000 Somebody might have gotten in trouble for some sort of recall, but it couldn't have been a safety issue.
01:30:46.000 Google that.
01:30:47.000 Okay, I'll Google it right now.
01:30:49.000 Somebody Google it.
01:30:50.000 GM avoids recalls.
01:30:57.000 Google whether corporations decide whether recall or court is cheaper.
01:31:01.000 They go with the cheaper option.
01:31:03.000 Can you do that?
01:31:04.000 I'm doing that right now.
01:31:05.000 It seems like it's from a movie because I remember something like that.
01:31:07.000 Like, right now, there's not enough people that are having the problem, so we're not going to worry about it.
01:31:12.000 Yeah, they guesimate if it's cheaper for them to...
01:31:16.000 Yeah, but you can't just say that.
01:31:17.000 Here's the problem with just saying something like that. 1.00
01:31:20.000 You have to really know what the fuck you're saying. 0.99
01:31:22.000 You've got to really know what you're saying. 1.00
01:31:24.000 Because if you just say it, then you don't have to do that anymore.
01:31:27.000 It's 2014. You can actually find out.
01:31:29.000 So if you want to talk about something, and you want to talk about something as serious as someone not doing a recall, because they'd rather just get sued because they can save money that way, you've got to know what the fuck you're saying. 0.98
01:31:40.000 But I'm saying that I know that. 0.92
01:31:41.000 But you don't know that because you're not pulling up any facts.
01:31:44.000 You're not stating any facts.
01:31:45.000 I got it in here.
01:31:46.000 The supercomputer.
01:31:47.000 No, no, no.
01:31:47.000 With this great haircut.
01:31:48.000 What you're doing is some legacy shit. 0.99
01:31:50.000 You don't have to do that anymore. 1.00
01:31:51.000 You have a fucking iPhone. 1.00
01:31:52.000 You know how to get online. 1.00
01:31:53.000 The battery's dead.
01:31:54.000 Oh, well plug it in, son.
01:31:55.000 Well, it's the old one. 1.00
01:31:56.000 Oh, well you fucking cheap bastard. 1.00
01:31:58.000 Get a new one. 1.00
01:31:59.000 I'm going to go get a new one when I get done.
01:32:01.000 Well, I'm sure there's been some problems with oversight.
01:32:06.000 I'm sure there's been some problems with recalls.
01:32:09.000 But saying that they actively got together and said, hey, let's just not recall these things and roll our chances with the lawsuit because the study has shown that we can save money if we go that route.
01:32:22.000 I believe that's what happens.
01:32:23.000 You can't just say that.
01:32:26.000 Okay, I will not say that what I just said.
01:32:28.000 That's how you get sued.
01:32:29.000 I understand that.
01:32:30.000 You can get sued, Sam.
01:32:31.000 What if GM comes down with the hammer of the law?
01:32:33.000 Well, they can take what I don't have.
01:32:35.000 Why would you say that? 0.99
01:32:36.000 You have a number 11 on the fucking iTunes charts right now. 0.99
01:32:39.000 It's called You Can Do It. 0.99
01:32:40.000 Do me for the move.
01:32:41.000 Believe in yourself.
01:32:42.000 Believe in yourself.
01:32:44.000 Go Rocky.
01:32:45.000 Win, Rocky.
01:32:46.000 Believe in yourself.
01:32:47.000 Believe in yourself.
01:32:49.000 Have you ever thought about doing a song, like a wacky song to go along with?
01:32:52.000 No.
01:32:52.000 I do like Red Band's great songs, though.
01:32:55.000 He should do some live music songs.
01:32:57.000 GM says, safety is our top priority, and today's announcement puts all manufacturers on notice.
01:33:02.000 That they will be held accountable if they fail to quickly report and address safety-related defects.
01:33:08.000 This is U.S. Transportation Secretary Anthony Fox with two X's.
01:33:14.000 He said he would continue to aggressively monitor GM efforts in this case and called on Congress to support a move to increase the penalties the regulator can levy in cases like this from a maximum of $35 million to $300 million.
01:33:30.000 Sending an even stronger message that delays will not be tolerated.
01:33:34.000 So this is what they're saying.
01:33:57.000 Report a safety defect in the vehicle to the federal government in a timely manner.
01:34:02.000 So they didn't report it in time.
01:34:03.000 What does that mean?
01:34:04.000 Did they find out that it was bad and didn't report it in time?
01:34:07.000 Have you seen John Oliver's new show?
01:34:09.000 Hold on a second.
01:34:09.000 We should figure this out because we've been talking about this for a while.
01:34:11.000 It has something to do with that.
01:34:12.000 Go ahead.
01:34:13.000 Talk.
01:34:14.000 I found an article to help you out, Sam.
01:34:16.000 On justice.org, they all knew and failed to PDF. It's called They Knew and Failed To.
01:34:23.000 And these are true stories of corporations that knew their products were dangerous, sometimes deadly, but they failed to do anything about it.
01:34:29.000 And one of the things it says is a car company that discovers that if it does not spend $11 per car to fix a defect, hundreds of people will be horribly burned and decides it would be cheaper to let them burn.
01:34:40.000 What company did that?
01:34:42.000 I don't know, but it's on justice.org, though.
01:34:44.000 There's a whole PDF. But wait a minute.
01:34:45.000 We've got to read that.
01:34:47.000 It actually says that?
01:34:48.000 Yeah, right here.
01:34:49.000 But what company?
01:34:50.000 A car company?
01:34:51.000 It just says a car company?
01:34:53.000 And it goes through all of it.
01:34:55.000 Here's medical devices, like heart defibrillators.
01:34:58.000 What is the title of it again?
01:35:00.000 It's called They Knew and Failed To.
01:35:04.000 True stories of corporations that knew their products were dangerous, sometimes deadly. 0.99
01:35:08.000 So as far as this GM thing, it looks like they definitely fucked up.
01:35:12.000 Well, you know, the reason I brought up John Oliver, because he was talking about these memos in which they would tell their employees words they could not use. 0.98
01:35:22.000 And it's crazy.
01:35:24.000 Like, they knew that these were death traps.
01:35:27.000 And that they were telling their employees, you know, you can't say certain words about the cars to describe the cars.
01:35:34.000 And they were like insane words, like Kevorkian-esque and stuff like that.
01:35:40.000 Here's one from Firestone Tires.
01:35:43.000 I guess that they...
01:35:45.000 They knew their tires were bad?
01:35:46.000 Yeah.
01:35:47.000 I remember that too, I think.
01:35:48.000 They finally announced...
01:35:50.000 They knew about it in 1997 and then finally announced in 2000s...
01:35:55.000 You know, I think that that was a different era. 0.85
01:35:57.000 You know, that sounds crazy, but 1996, 1997, like comparing that to 2014, I mean, I know that was only 20 years ago or 18 years ago, but isn't it fascinating that that might as well have been 100 fucking years ago?
01:36:08.000 Because that was all pre-internet.
01:36:09.000 Especially in terms of the internet.
01:36:10.000 Ford Pinto, remember the Pinto when it used to blow up all the time?
01:36:14.000 Oh, yeah.
01:36:14.000 They found out, they actually had a chart where it says that 180 burn deaths would be 200,000 per death, and then they just added up how much it would cost to recall.
01:36:25.000 $11 per car with what looks like 11 million cars.
01:36:30.000 Also, they calculated severe burns, serious burns.
01:36:35.000 2,100 burned vehicles, and it all came to 49.5 million.
01:36:40.000 But if you recall, 11 million cars came to 137 million.
01:36:44.000 Oh my god, those guns.
01:36:46.000 That's unbelievable.
01:36:48.000 You know, the whole thing was that GM was training their people, their employees, how to answer these questions, how to deflect, how to do all this stuff, because they knew they had a faulty thing.
01:37:03.000 And when was this?
01:37:04.000 This was when they discovered the faulty part in their car.
01:37:09.000 Yeah, well, the actual thing was an ignition switch that disabled the airbags.
01:37:16.000 And the Chevy Cobalt and the Saturn Ion.
01:37:19.000 Didn't you have a Saturn Ion?
01:37:20.000 What do you have?
01:37:21.000 Did you have one of those a long time ago?
01:37:22.000 A Saturn something?
01:37:23.000 Oh, a Saturn L200. Oh, and the Ion and the Cobalt.
01:37:27.000 They knew about it for 10 years.
01:37:30.000 Chevy Malibu.
01:37:31.000 General Motors knew for several decades that the placement of the fuel tank in the Chevy Malibu created a big risk exploding in the event of a rear collision.
01:37:39.000 So for a couple decades they knew that was.
01:37:41.000 I never even heard about that with the Malibu.
01:37:43.000 I always heard it with the Pinto.
01:37:44.000 That was like a joke.
01:37:45.000 The Pinto would blow up. 1.00
01:37:46.000 That was a fucking joke. 0.99
01:37:47.000 I remember that. 0.99
01:37:48.000 I saw someone use the Pinto as a punchline the other day, and I'm like, dude, nobody gets that reference.
01:37:56.000 It's kind of a hipster ironic one.
01:37:57.000 At this point, it's kind of hipster ironic.
01:37:59.000 It's like old Milwaukee beer.
01:38:01.000 Yeah, so I mean, that's just crazy is when people start picking cash over life.
01:38:07.000 That makes it sad. 0.99
01:38:09.000 Well, it's just fucking evil. 0.99
01:38:11.000 Now, that paper that you saw, that was an internal paper? 0.99
01:38:14.000 Is that what that was?
01:38:14.000 Yeah, this is actually from court records where...
01:38:17.000 GM actually decided that they could have up to 500 fatalities per year.
01:38:22.000 Each fatality is valued at $200,000.
01:38:26.000 There are approximately 41 million GM automobiles currently operating on the U.S. highways.
01:38:31.000 And so they were like, you know, doing the math.
01:38:35.000 Okay, but were they doing the math about a particular issue?
01:38:38.000 Chevy Malibu, yeah.
01:38:39.000 Oh, that Malibu that blows up.
01:38:41.000 Oh, my God.
01:38:42.000 That's so awful.
01:38:43.000 I don't want to ever buy a Chevy again.
01:38:45.000 I don't want to ever buy a Ford again either. 0.99
01:38:47.000 Because the Ford fucking Pinto... 0.99
01:38:48.000 It's not the same people anymore, obviously. 0.99
01:38:51.000 Obviously.
01:38:51.000 It's a totally different group of people.
01:38:53.000 But still, it's like, okay, what is it?
01:38:56.000 Do we recall?
01:38:58.000 Or is it going to be cheaper just to go to court and deal with lawsuits? 0.98
01:39:01.000 That's what sucks. 0.96
01:39:02.000 It's kind of like... 0.87
01:39:05.000 It's kind of like one of those things that I don't think is going to be around in the future. 0.70
01:39:08.000 I think with WikiLeaks and shit along these lines, you're not going to be able to get away with that.
01:39:13.000 You're not going to be able to get away with saying that someone's life is worth $200,000, and so we have X amount of dollars invested here. 0.99
01:39:21.000 We would save $50 million if we just let these people burn.
01:39:23.000 Unbelievable. 1.00
01:39:24.000 They should hang them by their ankles in a fucking room full of rats. 1.00
01:39:29.000 Do you think there's a level of psychopath that you have to get to be super high up in a corporation where people become just numbers? 1.00
01:39:42.000 I think people definitely can justify a lot of shit. 0.97
01:39:46.000 Like, you have to detach from humanity and look at people as numbers and resources and all that. 0.99
01:39:53.000 Whether it's super high up in military, super high up in corporations, any corporations.
01:39:58.000 I'm not just saying, like, you know, oil corporations.
01:40:01.000 Even just, like, high up in entertainment.
01:40:03.000 Like, you know, it's like sometimes...
01:40:05.000 You don't have to.
01:40:06.000 No, you don't have to be there.
01:40:07.000 But definitely a lot of the people that get there are...
01:40:11.000 Yeah.
01:40:11.000 But I think that's all, a lot of that is going to be in the past.
01:40:14.000 I think it's still going on right now to a certain extent, but transparency is making it more and more difficult to get away with shit like that. 0.99
01:40:21.000 You know, it's just, it's going to make it more and more difficult to hide what the fuck you did. 0.99
01:40:25.000 You know, and when we're talking about things like this, I don't I don't think you can hide this anymore, man. 0.98
01:40:30.000 That's why, you know, going back to what we're talking about, all the hackers and all that stuff, that's why, like, when this net neutrality stuff is coming up, I'm like, I just don't think the hackers will let that happen.
01:40:40.000 Well, they're gonna have to for a while, but they're already fighting back.
01:40:42.000 One dude hacked into the...
01:40:45.000 FCC? SEC? SEC, right?
01:40:47.000 That's what it is?
01:40:48.000 FCC? No.
01:40:49.000 Federal Communications?
01:40:50.000 Is that what it is?
01:40:51.000 Are they responsible for the internet?
01:40:53.000 Yeah.
01:40:53.000 Well, they're the ones making whether they're going to let Time Warner and...
01:40:58.000 What was the other one?
01:40:59.000 Verizon.
01:41:00.000 Verizon.
01:41:01.000 Whatever one's going to be huge.
01:41:02.000 AT&T's about to buy DirecTV.
01:41:04.000 Yeah, and they're freaking out about that.
01:41:07.000 But doesn't that go...
01:41:08.000 Who does that go back to?
01:41:10.000 Was that Clinton that just made it?
01:41:13.000 So they could consolidate more?
01:41:16.000 I don't know who did that.
01:41:17.000 But the point about what they're doing with the FCC is that these hackers attacked the SEC's website and turned the FCC website down to 28.8.
01:41:30.000 Like an old school 28-bit modem.
01:41:32.000 So they throttled them down.
01:41:34.000 I love this. 1.00
01:41:35.000 This is what it's like, stupid. 1.00
01:41:37.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:41:37.000 Like, you can't do this. 1.00
01:41:38.000 This is ridiculous.
01:41:39.000 Yeah, well, basically making it so, you know, certain websites you can get to quicker and then if they want to find mine, it's going to take forever for them to find where it is. 0.79
01:41:47.000 It's evil.
01:41:48.000 It's evil and it's just another opportunity that people have to corrupt something to make some money off of it.
01:41:54.000 So people do.
01:41:56.000 If you let them.
01:41:56.000 If you let them.
01:41:57.000 But I think transparency, again, this is something they would have pulled off in the 80s like that.
01:42:01.000 No one would have had a say about it.
01:42:03.000 No one would have even known about it.
01:42:05.000 Maybe a few protests on schools.
01:42:07.000 You'd be walking through the campus and someone would be like, save net neutrality.
01:42:10.000 You'd be like, save the whales, save the seals.
01:42:13.000 I've got to go to class.
01:42:14.000 You would sort of be into it for a little bit but not really totally understand it.
01:42:18.000 Whereas now it's hitting your email every day, Twitter every day.
01:42:21.000 I'm constantly hearing about net neutrality.
01:42:23.000 I'm constantly hearing about it. 0.99
01:42:24.000 So it's this different thing where I think today it's way harder to cover shit up. 0.99
01:42:28.000 And the people that are involved, the last thing those motherfuckers want to do is be up for any public office or applying for any sort of a job. 1.00
01:42:37.000 Explain your role about eliminating net neutrality and what was your position? 0.97
01:42:42.000 Well, isn't the guy who's in charge of the FCC used to work at Time Warner or something where he was high up in...
01:42:49.000 Sam is the king of, has sort of an idea of what's going on in his head.
01:42:54.000 Isn't the guy who wears the dresses?
01:42:56.000 Isn't Wolverine holding hands with guys?
01:42:59.000 I've been right so far, though, with the exception of the Wolverine.
01:43:03.000 I've been right on everything else.
01:43:04.000 You might be right about Wolverine.
01:43:05.000 And you know where you got the car thing from, by the way?
01:43:07.000 Where it costs money?
01:43:08.000 I think you got that from Fight Club.
01:43:10.000 Because Edward Norton's character actually says that.
01:43:14.000 Is that it?
01:43:15.000 No, there was somewhere else.
01:43:16.000 I read that.
01:43:17.000 I read that.
01:43:18.000 I read occasionally.
01:43:20.000 Come on, son.
01:43:21.000 How often do you read?
01:43:22.000 Right now I'm reading that book about the guy who thought his dad might have been the Zodiac Killer.
01:43:27.000 Have you seen that book?
01:43:27.000 Oh, are you really reading that?
01:43:28.000 Yeah.
01:43:29.000 You know, he's not the first.
01:43:30.000 There's been several other people that have read the books thinking that their dads were the Zodiac Killer.
01:43:34.000 But have you seen the picture of his dad versus the sketch?
01:43:38.000 No.
01:43:38.000 It's identical.
01:43:39.000 Really?
01:43:39.000 Oh, yeah.
01:43:40.000 Imagine if your dad was out killing other people and you were worried that he was going to get you, but you wanted to keep your mouth shut about him killing other people because he's your dad. 0.99
01:43:49.000 Unbelievable.
01:43:50.000 Well, the marketing worked because I bought the book.
01:43:52.000 Did you hear about that killer, the guy from S.H.I.E.L.D. that just killed his wife in front of the kids today?
01:43:57.000 What?
01:43:57.000 The one actor?
01:43:58.000 The S.H.I.E.L.D.? Yeah, I think he was the guy.
01:44:00.000 He was the black cop. 0.86
01:44:02.000 This guy right here. 0.88
01:44:03.000 What?
01:44:03.000 Remember?
01:44:04.000 No fucking way. 0.99
01:44:06.000 Yeah, it was on the news last night. 1.00
01:44:07.000 They showed him handcuffed.
01:44:09.000 Oh my god, no.
01:44:10.000 He killed his wife?
01:44:11.000 Yeah.
01:44:11.000 In front of their kids?
01:44:12.000 In front of their kids and was over money problems.
01:44:14.000 I guess he filed for bankruptcy recently.
01:44:16.000 Oh my god.
01:44:17.000 He had stopped paying off his house. 1.00
01:44:22.000 Fuck. 1.00
01:44:23.000 What is it about people? 1.00
01:44:25.000 I shot my wife.
01:44:27.000 How do people get to that place where they can kill somebody that they loved?
01:44:32.000 At least at one point in time, loved.
01:44:33.000 How do you get so low?
01:44:35.000 Bankruptcy problems?
01:44:36.000 Really? 0.99
01:44:38.000 You got to the point where you were on fucking the shield. 0.99
01:44:41.000 Sometimes, though, you don't get back. 0.99
01:44:43.000 Yeah, but he was on one of the best cop shows ever.
01:44:45.000 So you don't get back. 0.99
01:44:46.000 Do you see a fucking guy who just has a normal life, freaking out? 0.99
01:44:50.000 Because he... 1.00
01:44:51.000 Wow, look at him there, man.
01:44:53.000 Jesus Christ.
01:44:54.000 It's over.
01:44:55.000 That is so crazy. 1.00
01:44:56.000 You imagine how crazy that guy has to be to have just shot his fucking wife. 1.00
01:45:00.000 He goes from being on, like, one of the all-time greatest cop shows, has a crazy role on it, a really good role. 1.00
01:45:07.000 Like, he was the gay guy, remember? 0.58
01:45:08.000 Mm-hmm.
01:45:09.000 Man, you think that's drugs also?
01:45:11.000 Who knows, man.
01:45:13.000 I've heard stories about that.
01:45:15.000 People ODing and their kids are in the house.
01:45:18.000 Guy hanging themselves.
01:45:19.000 Kids are in the house.
01:45:21.000 It's like, what are you doing, dude? 1.00
01:45:23.000 Killing the wife, man. 0.99
01:45:25.000 It's so much more common than the wife killing the husband. 1.00
01:45:29.000 It's fucking awful. 1.00
01:45:31.000 Awful shit, man. 1.00
01:45:33.000 I guess he filed bankruptcy and his house was about to go in foreclosure. 1.00
01:45:38.000 Oh, better kill my wife. 1.00
01:45:40.000 It's not like I could get a job. 1.00
01:45:42.000 Poor kids.
01:45:43.000 It's like the thing where people hit that wall where they don't have any other solution.
01:45:47.000 And, you know, someone will say, oh, it's depression.
01:45:50.000 Yeah, okay, I get it.
01:45:51.000 But how does it make you kill somebody?
01:45:54.000 Now there's no solution.
01:45:55.000 It's over.
01:45:56.000 Yeah.
01:45:57.000 I mean, because he called 911 and said it.
01:45:59.000 Oh, my God.
01:46:00.000 That's going to be used against him.
01:46:02.000 I mean, like, what are you going to do?
01:46:04.000 Oh, who knows, man.
01:46:06.000 Like, what do you deal with that?
01:46:07.000 I mean, it's like, I'm not married, man.
01:46:09.000 I've just seen these guys, these married guys that are just like, the only way out is to off, and it's always the husband.
01:46:17.000 It's always the someone you know.
01:46:18.000 It's like, so funny because...
01:46:19.000 Well, it's not always the husband.
01:46:20.000 I mean, it's more often the husband.
01:46:22.000 More often, yes.
01:46:22.000 The only people that I know were the guy and the woman, you know, was Phil Hartman, was killed by his wife.
01:46:30.000 Wasn't she... 0.99
01:46:32.000 Wasn't she what?
01:46:33.000 Yes, she was.
01:46:34.000 I heard that.
01:46:35.000 Awesome.
01:46:35.000 Heard it all day.
01:46:36.000 All day?
01:46:37.000 Whatever it was.
01:46:38.000 She was on Zoloft and cocaine. 0.97
01:46:41.000 Wasn't she an escort? 0.99
01:46:43.000 I don't know.
01:46:44.000 I'm sure people have alleged that. 0.99
01:46:48.000 But, you know, if you go and fuck a guy for dinner, basically you're an escort. 0.99
01:46:52.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:46:53.000 A lot of escorts out there.
01:46:54.000 God bless them.
01:46:55.000 You know, there's a lot of girls that go on dates with guys.
01:46:58.000 Just for a free meal? 1.00
01:47:00.000 Wind up fucking them just because they feel bad. 1.00
01:47:02.000 The guy went out and bought drinks and dinner. 1.00
01:47:04.000 That's real.
01:47:05.000 It does happen.
01:47:06.000 I don't encourage it, but it does happen. 1.00
01:47:08.000 You don't need to fuck a guy for dinner. 1.00
01:47:10.000 Joey Diaz has a funny joke about that. 1.00
01:47:13.000 About the Liberace movie. 0.99
01:47:15.000 I don't think he does it anymore, but he goes, if somebody buys you dinner, he goes, you don't have to fuck them. 0.94
01:47:22.000 But if you fly a person out somewhere, he's talking about Liberace flying that guy out to Vegas. 1.00
01:47:28.000 He goes, you fly out, someone's getting their dick sucked. 1.00
01:47:30.000 Yeah, 100%. 1.00
01:47:33.000 Yeah, there's a difference between someone visiting you.
01:47:36.000 That's like what people always have an issue with, like a girl flying out to hang out with a guy and stay the weekend. 0.95
01:47:40.000 I've had that, comics, I've heard that happen to them.
01:47:43.000 Like, they meet a girl on the road, like, man, I think she's really cool, like, she's gonna come out and visit me, we'll see what's up, and the girl flies out to visit him, and then, nothing.
01:47:52.000 I had a buddy who flew a chick. 1.00
01:47:55.000 He met a chick here in LA, flew her to Toronto.
01:47:58.000 She took the flight, got to Toronto, because she's from Toronto, got there, never called him, never hung out.
01:48:04.000 He kept calling her.
01:48:06.000 She's like, where are you?
01:48:07.000 She's like, I can't hook up right now. 0.96
01:48:11.000 She used them for a plane ticket.
01:48:14.000 Hey, there's unscrupulous people out there. 1.00
01:48:15.000 Some of them have vaginas. 1.00
01:48:17.000 Yeah, some of them have penises. 1.00
01:48:19.000 No one's immune. 1.00
01:48:20.000 Some of them are gay. 1.00
01:48:21.000 Crazy comes in all sizes. 1.00
01:48:22.000 Some of them are gay. 1.00
01:48:23.000 Some of them are transgender. 1.00
01:48:25.000 There's some fucking shady people out there in all walks of life. 1.00
01:48:29.000 What do you think about the word tranny, transgender, and all that stuff? 1.00
01:48:33.000 I think if it's okay to call a cab driver a cabbie, we should be able to call a transgender a tranny. 1.00
01:48:38.000 Yeah, it's just an abbreviation.
01:48:42.000 I don't think it's...
01:48:43.000 I believe intent.
01:48:44.000 I think what we were talking about earlier, like, when you're talking about what is rape, you know, we all know what's bad.
01:48:50.000 When you define something by a name, you know, when you say, like, oh, you have a couple drinks, and then you have sex with somebody, that's rape.
01:48:56.000 They have sex with you, it's rape, because you've had three drinks, or you have two drinks. 0.96
01:49:00.000 Now it becomes rape. 1.00
01:49:01.000 I think defining people, like, this guy, oh, he's a fag. 1.00
01:49:06.000 Oh, this guy, oh, he's a homo. 1.00
01:49:08.000 This guy, oh, he's a gay man. 1.00
01:49:10.000 Like, What's in your mind... 0.86
01:49:12.000 What's the intent? 1.00
01:49:13.000 Yeah, what's in your mind when, you know, if Justin Martindale were here and we're like, well, if homos like you could stop fucking monkeys, what would we be doing? 1.00
01:49:23.000 What would our intent be? 0.99
01:49:24.000 We love Justin.
01:49:25.000 Our intent would be to make fun and have a good time and with no hate at all.
01:49:29.000 But if we were like sitting here going, well, you know, it's pretty clear in the Bible that the gay will suffer... 1.00
01:49:36.000 The gay. 0.99
01:49:37.000 We say it to him in an evil way. 0.98
01:49:39.000 There's nothing wrong with calling someone gay, right? 1.00
01:49:41.000 Right.
01:49:41.000 But there's something wrong with saying those words.
01:49:43.000 There's something wrong with projecting that stuff.
01:49:45.000 Where's it coming from, of course? 0.96
01:49:47.000 It's like Patrice O'Neill when he got on that MSNBC show or whatever the fuck it was with that lady who was arguing about Opie and Anthony getting in trouble for rape jokes. 0.98
01:49:58.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:49:58.000 Was it a rape joke or is it a joke about- I think it was a rape joke. 0.98
01:50:00.000 No, you know what it was? 0.98
01:50:01.000 It was that homeless guy got on the show, and the homeless guy started talking about Condoleezza Rice, and he was saying he would rape her.
01:50:09.000 And then they got suspended, and what Patrice O'Neill was trying to say was that when someone is trying to be funny...
01:50:17.000 Like, that it's all coming from the same place.
01:50:19.000 It's all coming from a place of trying to be funny.
01:50:21.000 If it's coming from a place where you're trying to hurt someone's feelings, or you are discriminating, or you are being evil, that's a different thing.
01:50:28.000 It's not the label, it's the intent behind it.
01:50:32.000 And we get all tied up in the words.
01:50:34.000 Like, they were trying to stop Bossy for a while.
01:50:36.000 Were you aware of that? 1.00
01:50:37.000 Yeah, they were trying to say that Bossy is like the new cunt. 1.00
01:50:41.000 You know, like calling someone Bossy is like... 0.99
01:50:43.000 Well, they were doing that with, uh, he's, uh...
01:50:47.000 Not ghetto, but what is the word that these NFL players were trying to say?
01:50:52.000 Gangster or ghetto? 0.62
01:50:54.000 Yeah, ghetto is the new N-word. 0.86
01:50:56.000 Ghetto?
01:50:56.000 When he's acting really ghetto.
01:50:58.000 Like this one guy, Richard Sherman.
01:51:04.000 People really flipped out on him because he went off on this football player in the middle of this interview after a game.
01:51:10.000 And he's like, oh, he's all ghetto. 1.00
01:51:12.000 He's acting all ghetto. 0.97
01:51:13.000 And they were trying to say that's the new way of saying the N-word.
01:51:16.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:51:18.000 Yeah, and it just becomes something new.
01:51:20.000 Everybody gets offended by other words.
01:51:23.000 And it's just like, listen, the N-word and the F-word...
01:51:26.000 There's definitely history behind that when you talk about gay guys, right?
01:51:31.000 There's a history of oppression out there that comes with that word.
01:51:36.000 Whereas every group wants to get their own word. 0.99
01:51:40.000 But what about faggotry? 1.00
01:51:42.000 I can understand why faggot. 1.00
01:51:44.000 Okay, listen, you don't like the word faggot. 1.00
01:51:46.000 I totally understand that. 1.00
01:51:47.000 Faggotry, though? 1.00
01:51:48.000 It's the same thing. 0.99
01:51:49.000 I mean, listen, I say everybody can say whatever they want to.
01:51:53.000 Either you like it or you don't, and we move on.
01:51:55.000 Yes. 0.99
01:51:55.000 If you don't like it, you don't like it, don't watch the comedy, don't watch the show, don't buy the product, move the fuck on. 0.99
01:52:02.000 There's two different things that are a problem here. 0.97
01:52:03.000 Two very different things.
01:52:04.000 There's one, the thing is people saying actual slurs.
01:52:09.000 Having mean intent and being, you know, an evil person with evil intent.
01:52:14.000 Then there's also another thing going on where people just going after words and the use of words and trying to limit the use of words and trying to limit the language that we use.
01:52:24.000 Not the intent and not the thought behind the words.
01:52:28.000 Not the philosophy or the way of looking at life, which I think for most of us is constantly evolving and changing from the time we're younger to the time we're older.
01:52:36.000 We learn life lessons along the way. 0.97
01:52:38.000 We have fuck ups. 0.99
01:52:39.000 We make mistakes. 0.98
01:52:41.000 We say things we wish we could take back.
01:52:43.000 We say things that we realize are cool.
01:52:47.000 Well, adding those things together, you've got a lot of different things going on.
01:52:52.000 It's not just about the words themselves.
01:52:54.000 What it's about is people having good intent. 0.98
01:52:57.000 And there's a lot of people also, I think, that they use these words to inject some serious fucking hate and vitriol out into the world. 0.81
01:53:09.000 They use other people using those words to be more hateful than the actual use of the word itself. 0.97
01:53:16.000 You know, the more angry, like, find, you know, YouTube comments where people think they're being social justice warriors.
01:53:23.000 Going after someone, you know, who might have used an incorrect term.
01:53:28.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:53:28.000 Or going after someone who said this disparaging thing about transgender people or whatever the fuck it is. 0.99
01:53:34.000 And you're just gonna find fucking... 1.00
01:53:36.000 Anger and hate coming from people that are supposedly progressive on a scale that you rarely see even coming from people that are conservative. 0.99
01:53:46.000 What I hate about the Political Correct movement is that how much fine print comes with that word.
01:53:52.000 Meaning, like, they...
01:53:53.000 They totally accept it and almost, in their brains, convince themselves that this person who they approve of uses the word is actually using that word to make fun of those who use the word as negative.
01:54:06.000 They actually convince themselves of it.
01:54:09.000 You're talking about the Colbert Report thing.
01:54:11.000 Well, not even though...
01:54:12.000 You know that story?
01:54:13.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:54:14.000 That girl drives me fucking nuts. 1.00
01:54:16.000 If you don't know that story, it's a genius story. 1.00
01:54:19.000 Colbert...
01:54:19.000 He's so smart.
01:54:21.000 Yeah, well, let's cancel Colbert was this thing that started, you know, trending online because they thought that Stephen Colbert put out a racist joke.
01:54:33.000 Like, pull the video.
01:54:34.000 It'll probably pull us off of YouTube, but I think it's fair use.
01:54:38.000 We could just do that article about it.
01:54:40.000 Yeah, but the- Sui Chu is her name or something?
01:54:43.000 Sui Park.
01:54:43.000 Sui Park.
01:54:44.000 And, you know, she uses a lot of big words, and she uses a lot of progressive lingo.
01:54:49.000 Well, she was interviewed by somebody on Huffington.
01:54:52.000 Well, let's explain.
01:54:53.000 Let's explain the thing.
01:54:54.000 The punchline was, I'm willing to show the Asian community I care by introducing the Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or whatever.
01:55:06.000 Yeah.
01:55:06.000 And it was meant to be a satirical analog to the Washington Redskins' original Americans Foundation.
01:55:14.000 Yeah, which is hilarious!
01:55:16.000 Yeah, I mean, it's funny.
01:55:17.000 It's so funny.
01:55:19.000 When you hear it coming from Colbert, he's making fun of their callous way. 1.00
01:55:23.000 How stupid they are that the people who want to keep the name Redskins... 0.99
01:55:27.000 So some people only saw one part of it, and I think it was a tweet that was put out. 1.00
01:55:33.000 So, cancel Colbert...
01:55:36.000 Comedy Central actually put out the tweet.
01:55:38.000 The hashtag, Cancel Colbert, became one of Twitter's twending twopics across the United States.
01:55:46.000 And it was because this one chick. 1.00
01:55:50.000 But it's not just her, because whether she was wrong, she might have saw that and overreacted and then didn't understand what was going on.
01:55:59.000 Satire.
01:56:00.000 Didn't see the whole thing, just saw part of it, started it off.
01:56:03.000 And then, boom, she was caught up in this wave of interaction.
01:56:07.000 Well, I would say I would disagree with that statement, that she was caught up in it because she would keep doing interviews about it well after, you know, like a week or so after people were like, you understand it's satire, and then the guy interviewing her on this Huffington Post thing, which was really funny, and she She's like,
01:56:23.000 I know it's sad.
01:56:24.000 And she gives the literal definition of satire, meaning that she basically read what the definition was.
01:56:30.000 She didn't get the joke.
01:56:32.000 Well, here's where it gets even better.
01:56:33.000 By lunchtime, Deadspin published a post by two Korean-American writers with the tongue-in-cheek headline, Gooks Don't Get Red Skin Joke.
01:56:49.000 So, fellow Asian Americans were attacking her, and cancel Colbert became a joke more than anything. 0.97
01:56:57.000 And then, not only did it not get cancelled, well, he got the goddamn Tonight Show. 0.98
01:57:01.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:57:01.000 Or the Late Show with David Letterman. 0.98
01:57:03.000 He's the new Late Show host.
01:57:04.000 Which almost makes me wonder if the whole thing was fake.
01:57:06.000 I mean, my whole opinion is that I'm starting to see these things, these internet outrages over statements being made by comedians.
01:57:16.000 And it almost gets to the point where sometimes I wonder if they're just fake outrage just to drum up publicity behind what's being said.
01:57:26.000 Well, no.
01:57:27.000 It's people realize that they can get attention.
01:57:29.000 That's exactly what's going on.
01:57:30.000 They realize they can get attention, or they can get attention by pretending to be upset at something.
01:57:35.000 Or what if the people who said the statement, people behind them, drum up fake outrage?
01:57:41.000 Pull up this pout rage. 0.99
01:57:45.000 P-O-U-T dash rage. 0.99
01:57:48.000 Of Sui Park as Colbert lands the late show.
01:57:52.000 There's this guy who does his online commentary, picking apart everything from this controversy to feminism to everything.
01:58:03.000 I mean, he's pretty hilarious.
01:58:05.000 So Sui Park miscanceled Colbert.
01:58:08.000 His name's Thunderfoot.
01:58:09.000 There's another article in Time magazine.
01:58:11.000 The cross-promotion of more white male celebrities proves it.
01:58:17.000 The entertainment industry has perfected the development of white cis straight male characters and the marginalisation of other voices, except when those others are bought in only to aid in the cheap punchline of a joke. 0.68
01:58:40.000 They're showing people of color being badass.
01:58:47.000 Other voices except when those others are bought in only to aid in the cheap punchline of a joke is complete.
01:58:56.000 This is aggression we do not have to accept.
01:59:00.000 We will protest this until it ends.
01:59:03.000 Others wanted to silence us immediately.
01:59:07.000 Young Asian American women with little institutional power are not supposed to be loud. 1.00
01:59:12.000 Our voices are not expected to be raised.
01:59:16.000 And when they are raised, they're not meant to travel.
01:59:19.000 Actually, Suey, if you're lucky, they won't travel.
01:59:23.000 Because as the old saying goes, it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
01:59:34.000 And how... 0.89
01:59:35.000 Genocide and slavery and Orientalism all work together to uphold white supremacy. 0.93
01:59:40.000 It's really kind of the way that I understand my work, which is why a lot of my work isn't essentially with these mainstream Asian American activist groups.
01:59:49.000 Because the simple truth is that young people generally don't hold institutional power because they lack general experience. 0.93
01:59:57.000 They lack life experience.
01:59:58.000 Now, I know you left home to go to university for a year or two.
02:00:03.000 One second.
02:00:03.000 My mom just came home.
02:00:04.000 Oh, okay.
02:00:05.000 Maybe you went to university And now you think you know everything about the world.
02:00:12.000 President Sui Park, they will chant as you, with your 23-year-old wisdom, set about solving all of the world's problems.
02:00:21.000 And many will have chuckled a quiet chuckle of mirth to themselves as you got hauled up on your own hubris.
02:00:29.000 For only about a week or so after your campaign to cancel Colbert it turns out that Colbert was indeed getting cancelled and instead he's now going to take over the reins from David Letterman on the eminently prestigious Late Show.
02:00:44.000 And this seems to have triggered these tears of rage from you in your latest article.
02:00:49.000 It's not over till we say it's over!
02:00:52.000 Oh, the bitter tears of unfathomable sorrow they are, Zoe.
02:00:57.000 The white man, as you frequently refer to him, has now become the beloved white man. 0.63
02:01:03.000 Yeah, because being white must mean that the white man is always reasonable, always pure, always deliberate, always complex, and always innocent.
02:01:14.000 So he continues.
02:01:15.000 There is so much to gain by correcting us, dismissing us.
02:01:20.000 You know, this is kind of unfair, and this is like a part of the internet.
02:01:24.000 A young person.
02:01:25.000 Because if I was 23 and you ask my opinions on virtually anything, you would get something half as intelligent as that. 1.00
02:01:32.000 We're all idiots at 23 years old. 1.00
02:01:35.000 100%. 1.00
02:01:35.000 There's something a bit unfair about just the nature of the internet that someone can just... 1.00
02:01:41.000 I agree, man.
02:01:42.000 But I just think there's something in this country where like...
02:01:45.000 And listen, racism does exist.
02:01:48.000 100%.
02:01:48.000 Save it for that fake out.
02:01:51.000 This girl wants credit for oppression she never went through.
02:01:56.000 Well, she's got attention. 0.98
02:01:57.000 That's what's going on.
02:01:58.000 Her brothers are like all doctors and lawyers.
02:02:01.000 I mean, I do a joke about her.
02:02:05.000 It's like she's born in 1991. Talk about the dark years of 98, will you, Suey?
02:02:12.000 Like, what did you go through in 1988, the oppression that you had to go through?
02:02:16.000 Like, they didn't let you wear your Hello Kitty backpack to school?
02:02:19.000 That's racist.
02:02:20.000 No, it's not racist.
02:02:21.000 You're talking about Asians wearing Hello Kitty. 1.00
02:02:22.000 Yeah.
02:02:23.000 That is racist.
02:02:24.000 I'll totally, okay, call me a racist.
02:02:26.000 That's my point.
02:02:27.000 It's at least racial.
02:02:28.000 That's my point.
02:02:30.000 What are you going through?
02:02:31.000 I don't think you have a point.
02:02:32.000 I'm going to be honest with you.
02:02:33.000 I do have a point.
02:02:35.000 That's the year where you kind of come into consciousness.
02:02:37.000 My point is, just the thought of that she's trying to equate what she's gone through with what...
02:02:44.000 But I don't think she is.
02:02:45.000 You know what she is?
02:02:46.000 She's getting attention.
02:02:47.000 And then she's running with it.
02:02:48.000 And I think, you know, as much as she might have thought she's thought this stuff out, what's going on is she's looking at a white belt in life. 0.58
02:02:56.000 She's a white belt.
02:02:57.000 She's a young person who's sort of, you know, maybe she's smart, maybe she's not, I don't know, maybe she's educated, maybe she's not, I don't really know.
02:03:04.000 It's hard to tell from this, because what you have is a bright spotlight on a person who probably shouldn't have had it on them, made a big mistake, hit a chord, that chord is the racism chord, and hit it accidentally, because didn't understand the satire of a joke,
02:03:20.000 and didn't understand the context of a tweet.
02:03:22.000 That it was a part of a much larger piece.
02:03:25.000 And in taking that out of context and running with it, connected to a system. 1.00
02:03:29.000 And once she's a part of that system, once she starts being interviewed, and people are calling her a fucking idiot on Fox News, I think it was Fox News, where someone called her stupid. 1.00
02:03:39.000 The guy actually called her stupid. 1.00
02:03:41.000 Like, said, what you're saying is so stupid that I can't even... 1.00
02:03:46.000 Whatever the fucking guy's statement was. 1.00
02:03:48.000 The point was he called her stupid. 1.00
02:03:50.000 Like, that's... 1.00
02:03:51.000 You gotta be pretty fucking bad at relaying a point on the news for someone to call you stupid. 1.00
02:03:57.000 Well, I just feel... 1.00
02:03:59.000 I mean, I understand that, too.
02:04:00.000 At 23, it's just...
02:04:02.000 She's a black belt. 0.64
02:04:03.000 She's a white belt.
02:04:04.000 She's cute, though.
02:04:05.000 Yeah, that's my whole thing.
02:04:06.000 Who's been mean...
02:04:07.000 Who has been more oppressive to hot, young Asian girls? 1.00
02:04:12.000 Old white men or their Asian parents? 0.99
02:04:15.000 She's a young kid.
02:04:17.000 She's 23 years old. 1.00
02:04:19.000 So she was called stupid by Huffington Post Live's Josh Zeps. 1.00
02:04:28.000 That was a funny interview. 1.00
02:04:30.000 In a heated debate.
02:04:31.000 Yeah, it's kind of funny.
02:04:32.000 By the way, she's doing the interview on that one.
02:04:34.000 In the background, she has stuffed animals on her bed.
02:04:39.000 Meanwhile, she wrote after that, And then Josh Zeps tweets to her, That's funny.
02:05:03.000 She pulled that whole thing, like, you can't say that because you're a white guy thing, which is a classic, like...
02:05:08.000 Well, it's a new thing.
02:05:09.000 It's a new thing.
02:05:12.000 Chicago peeps, I'm going to be doing a comedy show on June 26th, Suey Park writes on her Twitter.
02:05:16.000 No way.
02:05:17.000 Show up, heckle.
02:05:18.000 Oh my god, that's not real.
02:05:20.000 That's real?
02:05:21.000 Yeah.
02:05:22.000 Oh, she's now getting into stand-up comedy because of this.
02:05:24.000 Which is the story.
02:05:25.000 Jamie Kilstein's going to coach her.
02:05:27.000 It's going to work out well.
02:05:28.000 Oh god. 1.00
02:05:28.000 Come to death squad, we'll welcome you with open dicks. 1.00
02:05:32.000 Don't open your dick up. 1.00
02:05:33.000 Things will fall out of there like AIDS. This is crazy. 1.00
02:05:38.000 So the guy said to her, he said it's just a stupid opinion. 1.00
02:05:42.000 She argued that satire is supposed to punch up Oh, okay, it's that thing. 1.00
02:05:47.000 You should watch the video.
02:05:48.000 You shouldn't say anything bad.
02:05:49.000 Oh, please pull that up. 0.98
02:05:51.000 Pull that video up.
02:05:52.000 Suey Park and Josh Zeps.
02:05:55.000 She basically said that he's pretty much not allowed to comment on it because he's not an Asian man.
02:06:00.000 Because he's not Asian. 1.00
02:06:02.000 And because of white privilege.
02:06:03.000 Yeah.
02:06:03.000 Do you know, white privilege is a thing that there was a recent article that everybody critiqued or criticized that some young kid at Yale wrote about being told to check his privilege.
02:06:13.000 This whole thing, this check your privilege thing, it's nice...
02:06:17.000 Let's pause that for a second there.
02:06:18.000 It's a nice thing to want people to be kind and considerate.
02:06:23.000 It's a nice thing.
02:06:23.000 But when you give them a tool, like check your privilege, whenever it involves anything racial, you're going to silence the debate.
02:06:30.000 Because now someone's being told, essentially, to shut up. 0.98
02:06:33.000 Because they're white. 0.99
02:06:34.000 Which is, wait for it... 1.00
02:06:37.000 Racist.
02:06:38.000 So you're not even allowed to have a point of view if you're the wrong race to talk because you're privileged. 0.92
02:06:43.000 That race is privileged.
02:06:44.000 So there's like a balancing act going on. 0.62
02:06:46.000 And the white people are not allowed to even debate ideas. 0.97
02:06:49.000 You're supposed to check your privilege and shut up and listen to whatever. 0.99
02:06:53.000 Whether it's a woman or an Asian or whoever it is other than the white man. 0.70
02:06:56.000 I always feel that really young boys, like young white boys, have to pay for the sins of their fathers and their grandfathers. 0.59
02:07:03.000 I live near a high school and I drive by it all the time and I see groups of kids hanging out and they're all multiracial.
02:07:09.000 So the whole experiment that's been done in this country about making everybody integrated has worked to a point.
02:07:15.000 There's a lot of integration in these young kids.
02:07:17.000 It's working and it's getting better.
02:07:19.000 Yes, and it's getting better and it's got more room to go.
02:07:21.000 But I feel like young white boys...
02:07:24.000 Sometimes have to pay for the sins of thy fathers and their grandfathers.
02:07:27.000 There's this whole thing in the NBA that people get really mad that the last couple spots on an NBA team tend to be given to white guys.
02:07:36.000 And they're really upset because, you know, it's like, well, why should they be making that for white kids? 0.96
02:07:41.000 Well, it's the same thing that they're doing in Hollywood, where, you know, where the TV shows have to have multiracial characters, the commercials are multiracial, so that young kids see themselves in there and realize they could do that, too.
02:07:56.000 It's about reaching everybody.
02:07:57.000 Well, I grew up as a young kid who wanted to play pro basketball.
02:08:02.000 I was waiting for a woman. 1.00
02:08:03.000 Yeah.
02:08:03.000 You know, I wanted to play pro basketball, and I wanted to be the first white guy to play on Georgetown's basketball team, because at the time, it was all black guys.
02:08:15.000 Right.
02:08:15.000 And I always wanted to be on that because I wanted to be the white kid.
02:08:18.000 So I can understand to a point why you have a couple white guys on the team because a lot of kids who are young, white kids, dream of playing pro basketball.
02:08:28.000 So it's the same thing.
02:08:30.000 So it's affirmative action for white people. 0.53
02:08:32.000 To a point!
02:08:33.000 Yeah.
02:08:34.000 I think that here's the problem with all this white guy stuff. 0.96
02:08:37.000 Without a doubt, white people have it. 0.97
02:08:40.000 Way easier! 0.63
02:08:42.000 Way better!
02:08:42.000 Way, way, way, way easier!
02:08:43.000 So complaining at all about it makes you look like a fucking idiot because the idea of white privilege, the real idea is that white people have an advantage and they have an advantage culturally in how they're treated by society. 1.00
02:08:55.000 I think that's true. 1.00
02:08:56.000 I think it's 100% true.
02:08:58.000 It doesn't mean that you should have to check your white privilege when you're talking about ideas.
02:09:02.000 Because saying something like that to someone You're not saying, hey, look, white people have an advantage, but realistically, that's all unfair, and we should all be equal, and we should all be one, and let's just go and talk about ideas from an even playing field.
02:09:16.000 I totally agree. 0.97
02:09:17.000 But this whole thing of anybody having an issue on something, but then again, imagine if you were going to school and you were a black guy who's experienced a lot of oppression, some rich white twat was giving you some dude who just grew up with rich parents on the fucking Hamptons, and he's giving you a hard time, and he doesn't understand that he got a fucking easy run. 0.95
02:09:34.000 So you'd want to say, check your privilege to him. 0.98
02:09:37.000 I get that, too.
02:09:39.000 I get it when it's appropriate to let everyone know, like, look, dude, you got lucky.
02:09:43.000 You found five aces.
02:09:46.000 That's what it is.
02:09:47.000 You were born on third base.
02:09:48.000 You didn't hit a triple.
02:09:50.000 You're right there. 1.00
02:09:51.000 You got lucky as fuck. 0.99
02:09:52.000 And that's a lot of people, and that's annoying to folks. 1.00
02:09:54.000 But the idea that a white person can't have an opinion about satire because he's white and he doesn't understand what it's like to be an Asian woman who didn't get the joke? 1.00
02:10:04.000 Holy shit, that's dumb. 1.00
02:10:05.000 I agree. 1.00
02:10:06.000 The problem is she's 23. She's 23 years old.
02:10:09.000 She's a young person with ideas that maybe aren't completely formed yet, thrust into this weird position to defend something that was a mistake.
02:10:17.000 I've always said that, you know how in Israel you have to serve in the army?
02:10:21.000 I've always felt that people...
02:10:23.000 In America, after they graduate high school, they should all have to wait tables at Denny's.
02:10:27.000 Dude, I'll tell you this, man. 0.98
02:10:29.000 People aren't canceling Corbett up in fucking Edmonton, okay? 0.98
02:10:32.000 They're beating seals to keep their fire warm. 0.99
02:10:35.000 It's cold as shit up there. 0.99
02:10:37.000 It's a different world. 1.00
02:10:38.000 If you have this really fucking easy life, you start finding shit to bitch about. 1.00
02:10:43.000 And you start finding shit when you have this internet connection. 1.00
02:10:46.000 You have the ability to get a bunch of other knuckleheads involved. 0.99
02:10:49.000 You start bitching about shit, and you find that there's a bunch of people that it resonates with, and then you're caught up in a wave. 0.99
02:10:55.000 You're caught up in a wave of attention. 1.00
02:10:57.000 And you see it all the time. 1.00
02:10:58.000 A lot of these people that are the so-called social justice warriors, they're aggressively asshole-ish. 1.00
02:11:05.000 Aggressively asshole-ish. 0.99
02:11:06.000 Well, and I also think there's a lot of it that there's a lot of personal... 0.99
02:11:08.000 They're trying to make a dollar off.
02:11:10.000 They're like the Suzy Choo. 1.00
02:11:11.000 Now she's going to go out there... 1.00
02:11:12.000 Suzy Choo. 0.95
02:11:13.000 Suzy Park.
02:11:14.000 Whatever her name is.
02:11:15.000 How dare you.
02:11:15.000 More racism.
02:11:16.000 First it was Hello Kitty.
02:11:17.000 Now it's Suzy Choo. 0.96
02:11:18.000 So she's going to go out there, she's going to do stand-up. 0.76
02:11:20.000 She's probably going to write a book.
02:11:21.000 She's going to be making an appearance.
02:11:23.000 What are you waiting for?
02:11:24.000 Let her make the money. 0.99
02:11:25.000 But my point is how much of it is pure behind actual wanting change and how much is it just to make a buck off it?
02:11:33.000 Well, I don't know, but let's listen to this video because it's quite fascinating.
02:11:36.000 I liked it.
02:11:37.000 This Josh Zapps video.
02:11:38.000 Tweeting Suey Park. 1.00
02:11:39.000 No, don't do that, asshole. 1.00
02:11:41.000 What are you doing, man? 1.00
02:11:42.000 Don't do that.
02:11:43.000 I was going to ask her if she wanted to podcast.
02:11:44.000 Dude, don't do that.
02:11:46.000 Good job.
02:11:48.000 Cancel Colbert?
02:11:49.000 That's what some Twitter users are demanding after the Colbert Report put out a now-deleted tweet, reading, I'm willing to show Asian community I care by introducing the Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation for sensitivity to Orientals or whatever.
02:12:03.000 This set off a Twitter firestorm late Thursday night with people sounding off.
02:12:06.000 Hashtag cancel Colbert because we really don't need another white liberal celebrity trying to justify racism.
02:12:12.000 Using satire that ironically ridicules Asians is not productive for indigenous nor any marginalized group. 0.94
02:12:18.000 White humor blows. 0.79
02:12:19.000 Hashtag cancel Colbert.
02:12:20.000 White humor blows.
02:12:21.000 And the one that started it all via Suey Park.
02:12:23.000 White people, please keep hashtag cancel Colbert trending until there's an apology. 0.97
02:12:27.000 This is not the burden of people of color. 0.98
02:12:29.000 Fix it.
02:12:29.000 Do something.
02:12:31.000 Joining us now is the author of that very same tweet, Suey Park.
02:12:34.000 And also still with us is HuffPost Politics reporter Jason Lincolns.
02:12:36.000 Thanks for being with us, Suey.
02:12:38.000 Of course.
02:12:38.000 Thanks for having me.
02:12:39.000 Why cancel Colbert?
02:12:42.000 What did you hope to achieve with that?
02:12:45.000 Well, that's a loaded question.
02:12:46.000 I think it's sad, but unfortunately, a lot of times our demands aren't really met unless we have really serious asks or we generate these larger conversations.
02:12:56.000 Unfortunately, people usually don't listen to us when we're being reasonable.
02:12:59.000 So I think it's really to make a statement that this sort of thing happens weekly, that Asian Americans are always a punchline. 1.00
02:13:05.000 And so I think we're just trying to make a point that people will be held accountable the next time they do these sort of things.
02:13:10.000 So just to clarify the context, the tweet was related to a segment that was lampooning Dan Snyder, who's the owner of a certain Washington, D.C. football team that has a racist name.
02:13:19.000 It was meant to be satire.
02:13:22.000 I mean, do you understand the point of satire, that you say something that's intentionally absurd in order to ridicule not the people who are the target of what you're saying, but other people who might say it?
02:13:30.000 Of course I understand satire.
02:13:32.000 I'm a writer.
02:13:33.000 I think satire caters to the audience that you're speaking to, so it says something about what the audience finds humorous or acceptable when you're using those sort of jokes, and I think satire is supposed to punch up.
02:13:43.000 So unfortunately he's not doing that when he draws a parallel to Orientalism to make a point about Native American mascots. 0.99
02:13:49.000 But isn't his point that there are lots of stupid racist people who, even in their attempt to be conciliatory on race, end up putting their foot in it and saying something dumb? 0.99
02:13:59.000 I really don't think that we're going to add racism by joking about it. 0.99
02:14:02.000 I'm glad that the white liberals feel like they are less racist because they can joke about people that are more explicitly racist, but that actually does nothing to help people of color.
02:14:10.000 Why attack a satirical attack on Dan Snyder's racism instead of just attacking Dan Snyder's racism?
02:14:16.000 Well, if you're familiar with my activism or my work, I've been very vocal about Native American mascots.
02:14:22.000 I went to the University of Illinois for my undergraduate career.
02:14:25.000 We had Chief Alinawick, and I was incredibly vocal about it, and I had the same sort of backlash.
02:14:29.000 And that kind of backlash happens no matter what you're really attacking, whether it be, you know, the word oriental being used as a slur, yellowface jokes against Asian American people, or if I'm really just talking about Native American mascots and Dan Snyder.
02:14:42.000 I know I helped trend Not Your Mascot, On Super Bowl night to fight the name Redskins and Not Your Tonto.
02:14:49.000 I had the same sort of backlash, so it really isn't fair to kind of I'm not shifting my behavior.
02:14:56.000 Honestly, if white liberals cared about getting rid of the mascot, there's a lot they can do to help organize or get involved besides caring about their joke.
02:15:03.000 For them, it's not really about whether or not the Redskins exist or whether or not racism is over.
02:15:09.000 It's really about them feeling like they can't have fun anymore and feeling entitled to be able to laugh at things that aren't really funny. 1.00
02:15:15.000 Jason, part of the whole gag here is the use of the term orientalism, which is such a weird, old, loaded, like, it's a stupid, stupid word. 0.97
02:15:24.000 But to get upset about the use of that word when it's in a satirical context strikes me as misguided. 0.99
02:15:29.000 I want to take a look, though, at a tweet which Colbert Rapport has tweeted out.
02:15:33.000 It says, for the record, Colbert Rapport is not controlled.
02:15:36.000 Hang on, Sui.
02:15:37.000 I'll come to you in just a sec.
02:15:38.000 For the record, Colbert Report is not controlled by Stephen Colbert or his show.
02:15:42.000 He is at Stephen at Home.
02:15:43.000 Sorry for the confusion.
02:15:44.000 Colbert himself has responded to some of the criticism on Twitter.
02:15:47.000 Hashtag cancel Colbert.
02:15:48.000 I agree.
02:15:49.000 Just saw at Colbert Report tweet, I share your rage.
02:15:52.000 Who is that, though?
02:15:53.000 I'm Stephen at Home.
02:15:55.000 Sui, you were just going to jump in.
02:15:57.000 Yeah, I was going to say that I feel like it's incredibly patronizing for you to paint these questions this way, especially as a white man.
02:16:03.000 I don't expect you to be able to understand what people of color are actually saying with regards to cancel Colbert.
02:16:10.000 Sorry, being a white man doesn't prevent me from being able to think and doesn't prevent me from being able to have reasoned perspectives on things.
02:16:18.000 I didn't give up my right to be able to have an intellectual conversation when I was born.
02:16:23.000 I know, but white men definitely feel like they're entitled to talk over me.
02:16:26.000 They definitely feel like they're entitled to kind of minimalize my experiences, and they definitely feel like they are somehow exempt and so logical compared to women who are painted as emotional, right? 0.59
02:16:35.000 No, no one's minimalizing your experiences.
02:16:38.000 No one's minimalizing your right to have an opinion. 1.00
02:16:40.000 It's just a stupid opinion. 0.99
02:16:41.000 I mean, it's a misunderstanding of what sapphire is. 1.00
02:16:44.000 You just called my opinion stupid. 1.00
02:16:46.000 Yes. 1.00
02:16:47.000 You just called my opinion stupid. 1.00
02:16:49.000 That's incredibly unproductive. 1.00
02:16:50.000 And I don't think I'm going to enact the labor of having to explain to you why that's incredibly offensive and patronizing.
02:16:56.000 Explain.
02:16:58.000 I just told you I wouldn't enact that labor.
02:17:00.000 Okay.
02:17:01.000 Thanks for being with us, Zoe.
02:17:04.000 Oh.
02:17:04.000 Jason, how do you make it?
02:17:06.000 Look, it's unfair.
02:17:08.000 That's a black belt versus a white belt.
02:17:10.000 That's what it is.
02:17:11.000 I mean, even if she had a point, you know, in some way, shape, or form that's sort of wrapped up in all this... 0.99
02:17:20.000 Fucking craziness. 0.98
02:17:21.000 Even if she had a point. 1.00
02:17:23.000 She's too young.
02:17:23.000 What if she's complaining?
02:17:26.000 To me, it's so interesting because some of the most damaging Asian racial material is done by Asian comedians. 1.00
02:17:34.000 What's her take on that?
02:17:35.000 Why do they do it, though?
02:17:37.000 They do it because it works.
02:17:39.000 Why do they do it?
02:17:39.000 They do it to break the ice.
02:17:41.000 Why do fat guys tell fat jokes?
02:17:43.000 So that you can't. 0.76
02:17:44.000 Right. 1.00
02:17:44.000 Because if you go on stage, you're a fat fuck and your entire act is just about other shit. 1.00
02:17:47.000 Did you just call me a fat fuck, bro? 1.00
02:17:49.000 I said if. 1.00
02:17:49.000 Okay. 1.00
02:17:50.000 You know, if you're a guy and you're a giant guy, you better talk about that on stage.
02:17:55.000 I agree. 0.99
02:17:56.000 Because if you don't, then the audience is going to fucking point it out. 0.99
02:17:58.000 What is this? 0.99
02:17:59.000 Look who she talks back and forth with. 0.96
02:18:01.000 Oh, no.
02:18:02.000 Who?
02:18:02.000 They're like best buddies.
02:18:03.000 Who?
02:18:05.000 Of course.
02:18:06.000 Jamie Kelstein.
02:18:07.000 Oh, my God.
02:18:09.000 It's so perfect. 1.00
02:18:10.000 Poor bastard. 1.00
02:18:10.000 It was just a joke. 1.00
02:18:11.000 This is all a simulation theory.
02:18:12.000 This is all fake.
02:18:13.000 It was just a joke.
02:18:13.000 I was joking when I said that he would help her with her comedy.
02:18:16.000 Oh, my God.
02:18:17.000 He probably helped her with her comedy.
02:18:18.000 Oh, my God.
02:18:21.000 He means well.
02:18:22.000 I swear to God he does.
02:18:24.000 I just can't.
02:18:25.000 It comes with so much fine print.
02:18:29.000 It's bad to be a guy, don't you know? 1.00
02:18:31.000 Men are getting all these women pregnant, doing all the raping. 1.00
02:18:35.000 Building all the roads. 1.00
02:18:36.000 Unbelievable.
02:18:38.000 It's a mess. 1.00
02:18:39.000 The whole thing's a goddamn mess. 0.99
02:18:41.000 Especially in this country where, I mean, like, everything I know is not perfect, man, but when you hear what goes on in other countries... 0.99
02:18:48.000 I don't buy that.
02:18:49.000 It's just...
02:18:50.000 I don't buy that.
02:18:51.000 This is why I don't buy that.
02:18:51.000 People always say that.
02:18:53.000 But we know that it could be better.
02:18:56.000 So yeah, it's better than what it is in other countries.
02:18:58.000 I agree with that.
02:18:58.000 It's a crazy thing to say.
02:19:00.000 With all the information and awareness we have, the least important thing to concentrate on is how much better it is here.
02:19:06.000 Right.
02:19:06.000 Again, about dwelling on patting ourselves on the back for making this country better than the other.
02:19:10.000 Not saying that.
02:19:11.000 But that's what everybody does.
02:19:12.000 I'm not saying that.
02:19:13.000 But she is sitting there and taking a joke and just making it into this giant global issue.
02:19:20.000 She's trying to do it.
02:19:21.000 When we have a situation in China where they chuck girls... 1.00
02:19:24.000 As a white man, I don't expect you to understand chucking girls in China.
02:19:27.000 Okay. 0.96
02:19:28.000 As a white man, I think it's incredibly condescending and patronizing that you're using that word.
02:19:31.000 Come on, Sui Pack. 1.00
02:19:32.000 Can I open for you?
02:19:34.000 No.
02:19:36.000 Could you imagine?
02:19:37.000 I would love to.
02:19:38.000 Could you imagine?
02:19:39.000 I will do it for free.
02:19:39.000 The set that you laid down in Edmonton.
02:19:42.000 By the way, Sam Tripoli's new CD available today.
02:19:45.000 Believe in yourself.
02:19:46.000 Right now.
02:19:47.000 Believe in yourself.
02:19:47.000 I gave you a thank you in there.
02:19:49.000 Oh, please.
02:19:50.000 Bro, the set that you laid down when we were working together in Edmonton.
02:19:53.000 It was a lot of fun.
02:19:56.000 And that was right before you filmed it, right?
02:19:58.000 Or recorded it, rather.
02:19:59.000 And it was really worked out because a bunch of people that week came to the conference room and said they saw me at your show.
02:20:04.000 In Edmonton, yeah.
02:20:05.000 It totally worked out.
02:20:05.000 Yeah, we did it in the same place.
02:20:07.000 We were at the River Cree and then Sam was there like how long later?
02:20:10.000 Like literally in the next week.
02:20:11.000 Perfect.
02:20:12.000 It was awesome.
02:20:12.000 Yeah, and then they came down to support.
02:20:14.000 That's awesome.
02:20:15.000 Because that was a fun set, dude.
02:20:16.000 But you were only doing...
02:20:17.000 You did a half an hour at my show.
02:20:18.000 How long is the CD? You have a lot more.
02:20:20.000 The CD's almost an hour. 0.99
02:20:21.000 So even if they did come to see it, they still got a bunch of shit that they didn't... 0.99
02:20:24.000 The fucking Rob Ford stuff was funny. 0.99
02:20:26.000 Is that on this? 0.99
02:20:27.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:20:27.000 That's funny shit, man. 0.99
02:20:28.000 Get it on there before it's old school. 1.00
02:20:30.000 They fucking caught him again since then. 0.99
02:20:32.000 They caught him again. 0.99
02:20:33.000 He was at the comedy store.
02:20:34.000 He showed up at the store.
02:20:36.000 Brian, did you get pictures of him?
02:20:38.000 Did you get pictures of him then?
02:20:39.000 No, I was out of town, but everyone else...
02:20:41.000 Somebody did.
02:20:41.000 Yeah, we're all taking pictures.
02:20:43.000 I'm like, why don't we just open the bar and see what we can get into?
02:20:46.000 If we were back there, if that was like during the days when I was hanging out at the comedy store, we would have had the greatest video of all time.
02:20:52.000 Me talking to Rob Ford.
02:20:53.000 I would have got him shot. 0.99
02:20:54.000 He just sweats standing there. 1.00
02:20:56.000 I would have started bringing shots out.
02:20:56.000 I would have opened the bar.
02:20:58.000 Open bar.
02:20:59.000 Have fun.
02:21:00.000 Here's some ladies. 1.00
02:21:01.000 I would have called Uber in advance knowing I was going to be too drunk to drive. 0.99
02:21:03.000 I would have just fucking threw my keys in a condom, swallowed them, locked my car. 0.99
02:21:09.000 And just start hitting it hard. 1.00
02:21:11.000 Oh, I would love to.
02:21:13.000 All the crazy cocaine running around that place. 1.00
02:21:16.000 I would have swallowed my keys like a fucking drug mule. 0.98
02:21:18.000 I was so jealous watching everyone's Twitter feed, because we were in La Jolla, and I was like, the one time I'm not at the Comedy Stories. 0.99
02:21:25.000 That's hilarious, man.
02:21:26.000 Now, have you heard about Gerard Carmichael?
02:21:29.000 Yeah.
02:21:30.000 Rogan?
02:21:31.000 This kid named Gerard Carmichael?
02:21:33.000 The nicest kid.
02:21:34.000 That kid right there?
02:21:36.000 His first stand-up special was a one-hour HBO special directed by Spike Lee in the OR at the Comedy Store.
02:21:46.000 Oh yeah, you know who told me that?
02:21:49.000 He's the nicest kid.
02:21:50.000 Ian Edwards told me he was doing that there.
02:21:53.000 Dude, could not...
02:21:54.000 I mean, really, dude.
02:21:55.000 Yeah, Ian actually came over to the Ice House after we had done it.
02:21:59.000 He did it on a Wednesday night, right?
02:22:00.000 Yeah, he did it on some crazy night, man.
02:22:02.000 Yeah, it was a Wednesday night because Ian went to see it and then he came down to the comedy store afterwards.
02:22:06.000 Such a nice kid.
02:22:07.000 That's legendary, dude.
02:22:09.000 That is legendary.
02:22:10.000 Your first ever stand-up on television is a one-hour.
02:22:14.000 It's pretty badass.
02:22:14.000 In the most sacred of rooms.
02:22:17.000 I mean, the OR is crazy.
02:22:19.000 How many specials have ever been done in the OR? I think that's the first.
02:22:23.000 Well, maybe they're smart and they're opening that place up to specials.
02:22:26.000 They're getting internet.
02:22:28.000 Oh, that's crazy.
02:22:29.000 Well, I don't want them to show soon.
02:22:31.000 Too soon.
02:22:31.000 I'm not going to say what's...
02:22:32.000 They're getting nutty.
02:22:33.000 Why are they doing that?
02:22:33.000 I don't know.
02:22:34.000 That's dangerous.
02:22:35.000 I don't want them showing our live sets.
02:22:38.000 You've got to work on stuff.
02:22:39.000 That's the problem with the Laugh Factory who's doing that for a while.
02:22:42.000 There's a comedy club, and I don't want to say the name, but if you sign the agreement to play there, they record your set.
02:22:48.000 And I'm like, I don't want you to record my set because I'm coming here to work out material.
02:22:52.000 Ah. 0.99
02:22:54.000 That's fucked. 1.00
02:22:56.000 Yeah, that's not good. 1.00
02:22:58.000 You know, I think people that run clubs, you know, they're just trying to get asses in the seats, try to get people excited about the comedy.
02:23:04.000 If you don't do the process of creating it yourself, you don't know how vital that is, unless you're really paying attention.
02:23:10.000 A lot of club owners do know, but some of them just think, hey, we're getting people to look.
02:23:14.000 We've got 100,000 views on our YouTube channel.
02:23:18.000 Sam Tripoli, just write new material.
02:23:20.000 Is it that hard?
02:23:21.000 We're giving you a great place to perform.
02:23:23.000 You should be happy to perform here.
02:23:25.000 That was the thing about some clubs, especially the Hollywood clubs, where they have this odd...
02:23:34.000 Yes. 0.99
02:23:45.000 Because they could have gone next door to the fucking Hyatt. 1.00
02:23:47.000 They could have built a box there. 0.99
02:23:49.000 All they would have to do is say, hey, you know what?
02:23:51.000 I'm not performing here anymore.
02:23:52.000 I'm going to build a box next door to the Hyatt. 1.00
02:23:55.000 Let's pack that bitch. 1.00
02:23:56.000 And, you know, if Kinison ever wanted to do that or Letterman or any of those guys that made the comedy store famous ever wanted to perform next door, they could have done that. 0.99
02:24:04.000 I thought after a while Sam Kinison started just doing rock clubs.
02:24:08.000 He did.
02:24:08.000 Unlike Sunset.
02:24:10.000 Well, he did a lot of that, but he's the best example, and I've talked about it before, about a guy who was really good and became really bad in a short period of time.
02:24:19.000 From making it.
02:24:20.000 Just making it. 0.98
02:24:21.000 Just the fucking overwhelming pressure of being famous and being huge at one point in time. 0.99
02:24:29.000 Fucking, I just fell apart. 0.99
02:24:31.000 Drugs, you think, had something to do with it? 1.00
02:24:33.000 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00
02:24:34.000 Boozing it, drugging it. 1.00
02:24:35.000 His brother talked about it in his book.
02:24:37.000 It's really fascinating.
02:24:38.000 Brother Sam.
02:24:38.000 Have you read it?
02:24:39.000 Yeah.
02:24:40.000 Yeah, it's good, man.
02:24:41.000 It's really good.
02:24:41.000 I'll get it.
02:24:42.000 It's a great book.
02:24:43.000 I'll read it.
02:24:43.000 It's out of print, but you can get it off.
02:24:45.000 Brian, go to your house and steal it.
02:24:47.000 Don't steal, Sam.
02:24:49.000 What kind of a message did I send to the young ones?
02:24:51.000 To the children, especially the Asians. 1.00
02:24:53.000 Steal. 0.98
02:24:53.000 Did you see that video where Elizabeth Hasselbeck was talking to some guy who was a former NFL player, is now a lawyer? 0.98
02:24:59.000 Really smart guy.
02:25:00.000 And they're talking about marijuana.
02:25:02.000 And, you know, it was on Fox News.
02:25:04.000 Elizabeth Hasselbeck, the really conservative hot blonde chick for The View, she found her rightly placed in the universe. 1.00
02:25:09.000 Oh, she must be so excited.
02:25:11.000 She's one of the hot blondes on Fox News now. 1.00
02:25:13.000 She was on, like, a reality show?
02:25:15.000 What was it, like, a Survivor or something?
02:25:16.000 Yeah, she was on Survivor, and then she got on The View, and then, pow, pow, pow!
02:25:21.000 Now she's on Fox News, where she belongs. 0.99
02:25:24.000 Just happy to be there.
02:25:26.000 Just spreading Satan's seed.
02:25:28.000 And she was talking to this guy who's a former football player.
02:25:32.000 And they were talking about weed.
02:25:34.000 And the guy made an excellent point.
02:25:36.000 She's like, isn't it going to send the wrong message to the children?
02:25:38.000 He was like, if the NFL today decided to ban alcohol use for all of its players, it wouldn't affect teen alcohol use at all.
02:25:47.000 And she was just like, IRF? Yeah.
02:25:49.000 That's her. 0.88
02:25:49.000 That's her face. 0.88
02:25:50.000 That's the face that she had.
02:25:51.000 It was like, there's worse things to worry about.
02:25:54.000 We don't have to play it.
02:25:54.000 I don't want to play it.
02:25:56.000 It's so fucking dumb. 1.00
02:25:57.000 Those conversations are so brutal, too. 1.00
02:26:00.000 When you have long-form conversations, like on a podcast, and say all the things you were talking about, whether it's we're talking about the Cancel Corbett thing, or racism, or privilege, these are like long discussions.
02:26:12.000 They're long debates where if you're going to really get to the heart of something and find out a person's real opinions on something, it's a very subtle and nuanced sort of a thing.
02:26:23.000 You need to really be able to talk for long periods of time.
02:26:26.000 There's nothing wrong with that.
02:26:28.000 But when you're doing that on a show like a Fox News show, you have three minutes.
02:26:33.000 This conversation with this football player was three and a half minutes long.
02:26:36.000 Football player turned lawyer.
02:26:37.000 Three and a half minutes.
02:26:38.000 And then at the end, they're like, okay, well, thank you for your time.
02:26:41.000 We appreciate it.
02:26:41.000 Bye.
02:26:42.000 We're done covering this subject. 0.69
02:26:43.000 We're going to discuss gay military people.
02:26:45.000 What about gay marriage? 0.93
02:26:47.000 They're wearing camo now.
02:26:48.000 What do we do?
02:26:49.000 We take camo back.
02:26:50.000 It is unbelievable.
02:26:52.000 It is unbelievable.
02:26:53.000 It's that form of entertainment, that form of communication, that form of entertainment.
02:26:58.000 Let's call it entertainment because that's really what it is.
02:27:00.000 It is not just unsuitable.
02:27:03.000 It's not adequate for complex topics.
02:27:06.000 It's not adequate.
02:27:08.000 When you discuss the subject of marijuana in teenagers, if you're discussing it like that, or discuss the subject of the NFL telling players that they can't or can use marijuana and whether or not you support that.
02:27:21.000 What you're supporting if you support that they can tell players they can't use it.
02:27:25.000 You're supporting people having control over their employees.
02:27:30.000 When they're gone from work.
02:27:32.000 Exactly.
02:27:33.000 You're not even talking about something that they're showing up at work drunk.
02:27:36.000 You can't play football drunk.
02:27:37.000 You probably can't play at high.
02:27:39.000 Maybe you can.
02:27:40.000 Basketball players do.
02:27:41.000 They love it.
02:27:42.000 They love it.
02:27:43.000 It probably takes them out of...
02:27:46.000 How big the moment is.
02:27:48.000 They're not really thinking.
02:27:49.000 They're more just in the moment of playing basketball than realizing, oh, this might be game seven of this playoff game.
02:27:55.000 Do you know what I'm saying to a point where it chills them out?
02:27:57.000 You don't like to smoke the weed that much, but when you smoke the weed and you do things, whether it's jujitsu or playing pool, those are two things I can speak of, you play better.
02:28:07.000 It's a performance-enhancing drug.
02:28:09.000 You have more sensitivity.
02:28:10.000 You feel things better.
02:28:13.000 You literally, you're tuned into like... 0.99
02:28:16.000 Whatever the fuck it is, better. 0.99
02:28:18.000 You tune into distance better. 1.00
02:28:19.000 You tune into the rotations of a ball.
02:28:22.000 You tune into the way a person moves.
02:28:23.000 Like, when you do jiu-jitsu and you're high, you can feel things better.
02:28:26.000 You feel...
02:28:27.000 That sounds okay.
02:28:28.000 You can feel movement better.
02:28:30.000 You feel balance and shifting better.
02:28:32.000 The only time I ever perform high is when I go to the underground cafe.
02:28:36.000 I'm doing it in June, like the...
02:28:38.000 Toronto?
02:28:39.000 Yeah, the 12th through the 14th.
02:28:42.000 I don't have a say in it.
02:28:43.000 As soon as I hit the stage, by the time my foot presses down on it, I am gone.
02:28:49.000 It's very interesting.
02:28:51.000 Explain why you don't have a say in it.
02:28:54.000 Explain what it is.
02:28:56.000 Basically, it's this weed bar that has a comedy club in it.
02:29:00.000 It's so much fun to do.
02:29:02.000 They have a stand-up show, but usually before the stand-up show, sometimes there's an improv troupe or there's an open mic.
02:29:09.000 Which can be like two hours long, so people are hotboxing in there, and everybody's smoking weed the whole time before the stand-up show even starts.
02:29:18.000 And then the stand-up show starts, and there's usually like two or three people go on before the headliner, and everybody's just hotboxing, smoking weed, smoking weed.
02:29:26.000 So when you walk out, you're just walking into this, just this... 0.98
02:29:30.000 Room of fucking weed smoke, and it looks like gorillas in the mist. 0.98
02:29:35.000 Like, you just see black objects moving in the background under this cloud of smoke, and by the time my foot hits the stage, I am gone. 0.99
02:29:46.000 I can tell you I'm high.
02:29:48.000 Just from breathing a second.
02:29:49.000 Just breathing in, and I've stopped going, okay, I'm so high now.
02:29:52.000 I just accept it and just start riffing.
02:29:55.000 Hinchcliffe had a green out there where he actually had to take off his shirt, and it's so unlike him.
02:29:59.000 He had to sit outside on the sidewalk for a half hour.
02:30:02.000 He was trying to rustle up some boys. 0.98
02:30:04.000 With that nice gay face. 0.99
02:30:06.000 Super twink. 0.99
02:30:07.000 Super twink.
02:30:08.000 Trying to put on an extra show.
02:30:11.000 Sometimes people that want attention, they want it all the time.
02:30:13.000 Not just on stage, off stage as well.
02:30:16.000 Take my shirt off, I'm so hot. 1.00
02:30:18.000 Starts sucking his fingers. 0.99
02:30:22.000 So hot outside. 1.00
02:30:23.000 That's so ridiculous. 0.99
02:30:25.000 Yeah, he's a flirt. 0.99
02:30:26.000 That's what he's doing.
02:30:27.000 He's not even gay. 0.99
02:30:28.000 Gay flirt. 0.98
02:30:28.000 He just knows what he's got. 0.98
02:30:30.000 He knows what he's got.
02:30:30.000 He's like a hot chick who's married and she likes to wear short skirts and walk past the bar and know that every guy's like, Ooh, God.
02:30:37.000 She's not even trying to cheat.
02:30:38.000 She just likes the attention. 0.61
02:30:40.000 Yeah, just trying to like it.
02:30:41.000 She likes the head turns.
02:30:42.000 Get the party started.
02:30:43.000 Always.
02:30:44.000 Get people excited.
02:30:45.000 Let her, you know, let her know. 0.92
02:30:47.000 She's still rocking it.
02:30:48.000 Keep on rocking in the free world.
02:30:50.000 Suey Park.
02:30:51.000 Suey Park.
02:30:53.000 I don't have anything against that girl, by the way. 1.00
02:30:54.000 If she ever listens to this, much love to you, kid.
02:30:57.000 I'll take her out. 0.99
02:30:58.000 Brian will take you out.
02:30:59.000 I don't think that's a good thing.
02:31:01.000 That won't help your cause.
02:31:03.000 I don't think that helps anybody, but maybe Brian...
02:31:05.000 I don't think that helps him.
02:31:07.000 It doesn't help anybody, but he's just saying that if you were into it, you could hang out with him.
02:31:13.000 Yeah, I just...
02:31:14.000 I don't like anybody who puts restrictions on comedians and what they can say.
02:31:19.000 There's this whole thing with Leslie Jones, too.
02:31:22.000 Leslie Jones, she's a comedy store comedian. 0.67
02:31:25.000 One of those people where it's like, every time you follow her at the store, it's an education.
02:31:30.000 You just learn...
02:31:32.000 Man, you gotta go up there and focus.
02:31:35.000 And she did something on Saturday Night Live where she did an old bit that she's been doing together about how she would have been a first-round draft pick in Slave Days.
02:31:45.000 Because she would put out great slaves. 0.98
02:31:47.000 And she did it on there and the internet explodes. 1.00
02:31:50.000 They got mad at her?
02:31:51.000 A bunch of people did, including other comedians, which I really hate, man.
02:31:56.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
02:31:58.000 She said she'd be a first-round draft pick because she's a big girl. 1.00
02:32:03.000 Yeah, she's a big, tall, thick chick who constantly loves to ask you for dick. 1.00
02:32:07.000 Why would that be controversial? 1.00
02:32:09.000 That's funny.
02:32:11.000 Because, well, the whole thing was that that one chick got the prettiest person in the world. 1.00
02:32:15.000 It was the girl from 12 Years of a Slave.
02:32:20.000 That's kind of where it started from, like what draft pick she would have been and how Leslie would have been a first-round draft pick.
02:32:26.000 Right.
02:32:27.000 Because she could put out strong stock, you know? 1.00
02:32:29.000 You talk about that on stage, about wanting to fuck a gladiator chick. 1.00
02:32:33.000 Yeah, I wanted to make some fucking... 1.00
02:32:34.000 Like John Jones' mom. 0.99
02:32:36.000 I don't want to get in trouble, but, you know, just the whole thing about how amazing that woman was. 0.95
02:32:41.000 No disrespect to Mr. or Mrs. Jones.
02:32:42.000 It's all love for my...
02:32:44.000 Just a joke.
02:32:44.000 It's all my love.
02:32:45.000 He's just saying, theoretically, in the joke universe...
02:32:48.000 Well, she put out three top-end super athletes. 0.98
02:32:52.000 That's an amazing woman. 0.93
02:32:54.000 That's the point of the joke.
02:32:55.000 It had nothing to do with slavery.
02:32:57.000 It has to do with how amazing she is.
02:32:59.000 Well, that's what Leslie... 1.00
02:33:01.000 Can you pull up Leslie Jones' rant?
02:33:04.000 She did it on Weekend Update.
02:33:06.000 You know how the whole thing was that Saturday Night Live didn't have enough diversity, especially when it came to black women? 0.56
02:33:12.000 So she was on Saturday Night Live?
02:33:14.000 She's on Saturday Night Live.
02:33:15.000 She did a little monologue on Weekend Update and people flipped out.
02:33:21.000 Oh, okay.
02:33:22.000 I'm so fucking confused because you were saying it was a part of her comedy special.
02:33:25.000 Yeah, but no, no. 0.83
02:33:26.000 It's a part of her stand-up act that she did as a monologue on Saturday Night Live.
02:33:30.000 Why did she do that? 1.00
02:33:31.000 Because it was Weekend Update.
02:33:33.000 They asked her to?
02:33:34.000 She probably pitched it as a little thing for that girl getting... 1.00
02:33:38.000 Well, let's hear it.
02:33:39.000 Okay, I'm pulling it up.
02:33:40.000 Well, yeah, I think we'd like, you know, if we're smart, we should hear both versions.
02:33:44.000 We should hear the special version and the version that she did on... 0.98
02:33:49.000 Let's hear the fucking version she did on Comedy Central. 1.00
02:33:51.000 Fuck the Saturday Night Live version. 1.00
02:33:53.000 But I think the Saturday Night Live version is the... 1.00
02:33:55.000 Is the one that got her in trouble.
02:33:56.000 Yeah.
02:33:57.000 But it's the same thing, right?
02:33:59.000 Is it on her special?
02:34:00.000 I've just seen her do it at the Comedy Store a thousand times. 0.58
02:34:03.000 Yeah, I think she only did it at the Comedy Store. 1.00
02:34:04.000 I don't think that was on...
02:34:06.000 I couldn't imagine someone would really get upset about that.
02:34:09.000 Oh yeah, I mean, you just hear comics laying into her and I'm just like, what are you doing? 0.99
02:34:13.000 What fucking comic? 0.99
02:34:14.000 Who? 1.00
02:34:15.000 Don't say Jamie Kilstein.
02:34:16.000 Don't say it.
02:34:17.000 I actually tweeted the comic that did it and he wrote me back saying that he took down all of his posts about it and he retracted everything about it.
02:34:27.000 Oh, cool. 0.98
02:34:28.000 So what the fuck happened, man? 0.99
02:34:30.000 What was it all about? 0.99
02:34:32.000 Oh, Shang.
02:34:33.000 I know Shang.
02:34:33.000 Yeah.
02:34:34.000 He did it?
02:34:35.000 Yeah.
02:34:35.000 Oh, well.
02:34:37.000 Got a little crazy.
02:34:38.000 Maybe he was drunk.
02:34:39.000 Yeah.
02:34:39.000 I mean, he took it down, so.
02:34:40.000 Yeah.
02:34:41.000 Well, I don't know.
02:34:41.000 He retracted it.
02:34:42.000 But I just think you should...
02:34:44.000 I don't understand the thought of restricting what people can say.
02:34:49.000 It's reward and punishment.
02:34:51.000 If you like what he says, you reward him by going to his shows, buying his CD. If you don't like it, you don't go to his shows, you don't buy his CDs.
02:34:59.000 I disagree because I think that if someone is saying something evil and hurtful, that there's nothing wrong with going after that.
02:35:06.000 Nothing wrong with pointing out that something is evil or hurtful.
02:35:09.000 Right.
02:35:10.000 But when something is just a joke about themselves and their own body and their own race and their own origins, I mean, and the idea that this is...
02:35:18.000 Go ahead, play it.
02:35:23.000 Thank you very much, Colin.
02:35:25.000 Hello, everybody.
02:35:26.000 I wanted to come out here tonight and congratulate Lupita on winning People's Most Beautiful Person.
02:35:32.000 And I agree that she is very beautiful.
02:35:35.000 But for me, personally, I'm waiting for them to put out the most useful list.
02:35:40.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:35:41.000 Because that's where I'm going to shop.
02:35:43.000 Most useful. 0.83
02:35:44.000 That's what I said, you delectable Caucasian. 1.00
02:35:47.000 She loves asking for dick, by the way. 1.00
02:35:50.000 Let me ask you a question. 1.00
02:35:51.000 If you walked in a club and you saw me and Lupita standing at the bar, who would you pick?
02:35:56.000 Wow.
02:35:57.000 Yeah, I know.
02:35:57.000 You would pick Lupita.
02:35:58.000 Wow.
02:35:58.000 But let me ask you this.
02:35:59.000 If you was in the parking lot and three crips is about to whoop your ass, who you gonna pick then? 1.00
02:36:11.000 I would pick you. 0.99
02:36:12.000 You're damn right you would. 0.85
02:36:16.000 And that's my point. 0.74
02:36:18.000 The way we view black beauty has changed.
02:36:20.000 Look at me.
02:36:21.000 See, I'm single right now.
02:36:23.000 But back in the slave days, I would have never been single. 0.97
02:36:27.000 I'm six feet tall and I'm strong, Colin.
02:36:30.000 Strong!
02:36:31.000 I mean, look at me.
02:36:32.000 I'm a Mandingo!
02:36:35.000 Leslie, you're not saying you'd rather be a slave, right?
02:36:37.000 No, that is not what I'm saying.
02:36:38.000 I do not want to be a slave. 0.98
02:36:39.000 Hell, I don't like working for you white people right now, and y'all pay me. 1.00
02:36:46.000 I'm just saying that back in the slave days, my love life would have been way better. 0.97
02:36:51.000 Master would have hooked me up with the best brother on the plantation.
02:36:54.000 And every nine months, I'd be in the corner having a super baby.
02:36:58.000 Every nine months.
02:36:59.000 Every nine months, I'd just be in the corner just popping them out.
02:37:02.000 Just, Seth!
02:37:04.000 COVID! LeBron!
02:37:10.000 Dumbo slice! 0.77
02:37:11.000 You said that!
02:37:15.000 That's what I'm saying!
02:37:17.000 I'm saying I would be the number one slave draft pick. 0.72
02:37:23.000 All of the plantations would want me.
02:37:25.000 I'd be on television like LeBron announcing which plantation I was gonna go to.
02:37:29.000 I would be like, I'd like to take my talents to South Carolina.
02:37:36.000 I do believe that there's gonna be a lot of opportunities there for me.
02:37:40.000 Now, I can't even get a brother to take me out for a cheap dinner. 0.99
02:37:44.000 I mean, damn, can a bitch get a beef bowl? 1.00
02:37:48.000 Can a bitch get a beef bowl? 1.00
02:37:51.000 Wow, it's weird that she had to do that. 1.00
02:37:54.000 It's weird she had to do it like that, like, using him as, like, a guy to banter back and forth to make it look like it wasn't a bit.
02:38:00.000 Yeah. 0.94
02:38:00.000 It was fucking hilarious, though. 0.94
02:38:02.000 It was funny. 0.99
02:38:02.000 I bet it's even better on stage, though. 0.99
02:38:04.000 She's, oh.
02:38:05.000 Dude, you got, it's, we call, like, we call her education, man.
02:38:09.000 You got to follow her.
02:38:10.000 It's education because you got to learn to survive.
02:38:12.000 She's sweating.
02:38:13.000 Oh, she loves to sweat and hug you. 1.00
02:38:16.000 And then she used to corner me in the back during the Dublin's days and just beg for dick. 1.00
02:38:20.000 It was so great. 0.98
02:38:21.000 How long ago was this?
02:38:22.000 Back in Dublin's day.
02:38:23.000 How long ago was this?
02:38:24.000 What year was that?
02:38:25.000 Dublin's was what?
02:38:26.000 2006?
02:38:29.000 Was it 2006?
02:38:30.000 I'd say 2003 or 2004. It was the early days.
02:38:34.000 Well, Dublin's changed.
02:38:36.000 Dublin's was a spot where very few people were going and then it became a Dane Cook spot for a while.
02:38:42.000 Yeah, well, I said the first year or two, it was great because, you know, Jay Davis and Ahmed Ahmed brought in this pretty insane crowd.
02:38:50.000 And like, you know, people, you would go up there and you find out how good of a comedian you were.
02:38:54.000 And if you did really well there, word would spread.
02:38:57.000 But then it started becoming a thing where I'm not going on after him, and you've got to put me on before him.
02:39:02.000 Yeah.
02:39:03.000 And people started controlling the lineup.
02:39:04.000 Yeah.
02:39:04.000 And then it started becoming prima donnas.
02:39:06.000 And doing an hour in the middle of the show.
02:39:08.000 And stealing people's material.
02:39:10.000 Oh, there was a lot of that.
02:39:11.000 Sitting in the back watching.
02:39:12.000 And then saying that they were going to get their lawyers on you if you kept doing the bit.
02:39:16.000 That happened to me.
02:39:17.000 Didn't that happen to you, Sam Tripoli?
02:39:18.000 Yes, with Dane Cook.
02:39:19.000 That's crazy, Sam Tripoli.
02:39:20.000 What happened?
02:39:21.000 What was the bit?
02:39:23.000 I did a bit about the time, I was a big Tool fan at the time, and I did, and I still am, but I did a bit about when I got pulled over by the cops and they wrote me a ticket for like $2.50 for speeding and he handed it to me and I said, thank you. 0.99
02:39:38.000 And I remember how stupid that was to say, thank you for this fucking ticket. 0.99
02:39:42.000 And at the time, I'm like, that's like saying thank you after you get prison raped. 1.00
02:39:46.000 And I used the line, I'm breathing, so I guess I'm still alive.
02:39:49.000 Thank you, which is a lyric from a Tool song.
02:39:52.000 And I did it on stage because I was showcasing for Jamie.
02:39:55.000 And Jamie made me this thing, Showcase Regular, where I would always just get to showcase.
02:39:59.000 And then I just became a regular really quick.
02:40:02.000 And I was going to do a showcase, and Jamie didn't show up, so I'm like, I'm just going to do my regular set, you know?
02:40:07.000 And so I go up, and I start doing my act, and I do that joke, where I basically did the joke, and I got done, I got huge laughs, and I'm leaving there, and all these comics who were my friends were hanging out in the Laugh Factory lobby, and it was like Butch Bradley and a couple other people,
02:40:23.000 and Dane was there, and I didn't really know Dane, but I knew of Dane, so I'm leaving with Scott Ross at the time.
02:40:35.000 So I'm saying goodbye to everyone, and I'm with Scott Ross, who was my roommate at the time, and I say goodbye to everybody, and I saw Dan go, hey Dane, thank you.
02:40:43.000 I'm like, hey Dane, I'll see you later.
02:40:45.000 And he goes, oh, by the way, you're doing my bit.
02:40:47.000 In front of everybody.
02:40:49.000 And I go, what?
02:40:51.000 And all of a sudden, Armo rage just starts coming through me.
02:40:54.000 Armo rage?
02:40:55.000 Armenian rage? 0.73
02:40:56.000 Yeah, just that Armo rage.
02:40:58.000 This is his latest Instagram.
02:41:01.000 He's got his shirt off, and...
02:41:03.000 Bedroom eyes right there.
02:41:04.000 He's sucking his stomach in to the point where he's probably losing circulation.
02:41:10.000 I mean, that is... 0.96
02:41:11.000 He's sexy.
02:41:12.000 But read the caption.
02:41:14.000 What does it say?
02:41:15.000 Well, it's a caption and a half.
02:41:17.000 Read the caption.
02:41:18.000 Thank you to all my fans and friends over my career.
02:41:22.000 I'm starting a new film next week, writing my next one, and prepping a lot for press tours and interviews over the next couple months for Planes 2. A huge surprise.
02:41:32.000 And a huge surprise.
02:41:33.000 And a huge surprise.
02:41:34.000 I'm in the best place in my life.
02:41:36.000 I love the people around me.
02:41:38.000 I have let go over my past that held me and I've embraced a future that is whatever I want it to be.
02:41:44.000 I've worked with wonderful charity organizations over the years and I'm grateful to have always given back and being mindful that the future success depends on how I can create for others now.
02:41:57.000 Pound sign, hard work. 1.00
02:41:59.000 The more pound signs, by the way, you have after your fucking statements, the more I think you're an idiot. 1.00
02:42:04.000 I'm just going to let you know more. 1.00
02:42:05.000 The more time you hashtag after your fucking... 0.99
02:42:09.000 If you have more than three hashtags, I can't really talk to you unless they're really funny. 1.00
02:42:13.000 Yeah.
02:42:14.000 Unless one of them says one thing, one of them says not really, and then the next one says something even funnier.
02:42:18.000 Other than that, if you have five or six motivational hashtags, he needs a hug, man.
02:42:24.000 I mean, maybe he's trying to be ironic or funny.
02:42:26.000 That funny?
02:42:27.000 What's that hashtag?
02:42:28.000 What does that say? 1.00
02:42:29.000 Let's stop shitting on Dane here. 0.99
02:42:30.000 The gym made me like, what? 0.97
02:42:32.000 He's, you know, it's interesting, guys that were, like, in this great place at one point in time, and then everything is kind of, like, kicked out from under them, you know?
02:42:41.000 And with Dane, like, the allegations of plagiarism, the Louis C.K. thing, it's very similar in a lot of ways to the Carlos Mencia thing.
02:42:49.000 Yep.
02:42:49.000 It's just...
02:42:50.000 Well, I think Mencia's worse because he found out, people found out he wasn't Mexican.
02:42:56.000 That's why he lost that whole group.
02:42:59.000 Yeah, that was devastating.
02:43:00.000 You know, it's all a lot.
02:43:02.000 That's what people hate.
02:43:03.000 I mean, you'll always, no matter what, you'll always have a core group of fans that no matter what people say with you, about you, they're going to stick with you.
02:43:10.000 But that Dane Cook thing was so crazy that people were sending it to me.
02:43:13.000 Like, people were, like, laughing. 0.99
02:43:16.000 Let's not go through all this fucking Instagram. 1.00
02:43:18.000 But people were sending it to me going, what the fuck? 1.00
02:43:20.000 What the fuck is this? 1.00
02:43:22.000 It's interesting. 1.00
02:43:22.000 I don't know. 1.00
02:43:23.000 Well, I mean, he's trying to pump himself up.
02:43:25.000 He's getting excited about things.
02:43:26.000 He's trying to be positive.
02:43:28.000 I get all that. 0.83
02:43:28.000 I know he went through a really dark time, so that's kind of suck, but... 0.83
02:43:31.000 Why are you standing there with your stomach sucked in like that, looking all sexy? 0.95
02:43:36.000 Because maybe that's his crop.
02:43:37.000 I don't know, man.
02:43:38.000 You should do that.
02:43:40.000 You know what you should do?
02:43:41.000 You should do the same thing that Steve-O did with Angelina Jolie, where all the tattoos that she gets, he gets.
02:43:51.000 You should do the same thing with all of Dane Cook's tweets.
02:43:54.000 Every time he does an Instagram, you should do an Instagram in the exact same pose with the exact same caption. 0.99
02:44:00.000 With my tits hanging out? 1.00
02:44:02.000 I mean, considering what you just told us, that whole thing. 0.99
02:44:06.000 Oh, that was a long time ago.
02:44:07.000 I know, I know, I know.
02:44:08.000 But it would be fun for a week project.
02:44:10.000 For one week.
02:44:12.000 Every time I do the same work thing he does.
02:44:14.000 Just the same words, the same everything.
02:44:18.000 Ah. 1.00
02:44:18.000 Poor bastard. 1.00
02:44:19.000 He ain't a bad guy. 1.00
02:44:20.000 I think he had a hard life.
02:44:22.000 Did you see that fight that Seth Rogen's doing with Mackamore right now?
02:44:25.000 Now it's Mackamore?
02:44:26.000 I thought it was...
02:44:27.000 What was he fighting with?
02:44:27.000 Oh, because Mackamore did that kind of...
02:44:30.000 He put on a costume and a lot of people say it was anti-Semitic because it's...
02:44:34.000 It is.
02:44:35.000 Oh, yeah, I saw that he said that it's just a random costume, that a wig and a fake nose is just a random costume.
02:44:42.000 But it looks Hasidic. 0.93
02:44:44.000 Yeah, look at that. 0.88
02:44:45.000 I mean, that's ridiculous, that if he's even saying... 0.91
02:44:48.000 Let me see the image. 0.52
02:44:50.000 Hold on, I gotta get it fixed.
02:44:53.000 Macklemore's the one who did...
02:44:54.000 Oh, that's it right there.
02:44:55.000 ...at the Grammys.
02:44:56.000 Who's the guy in front of him who's mad at him?
02:44:59.000 I think that's just Randy from American Idol or something.
02:45:02.000 But yeah, he says it's just a random witch's nose and a wig and something like that.
02:45:07.000 I'm like, yeah, what are you trying to make?
02:45:08.000 What else are you supposed to be right now?
02:45:10.000 Okay, so what does Seth Rogen say?
02:45:12.000 First you tricked people into pretending you're a rapper and now you tricked them into thinking you're Jewish?
02:45:16.000 Yeah, if you go to his Seth Rogen's thing, he's going back and forth with them all day.
02:45:22.000 Because Mack Moore said...
02:45:25.000 A fake witch's nose wig and a beard equals random costume. 0.99
02:45:28.000 Not my idea of a stereotype of anyone.
02:45:31.000 Of anybody.
02:45:32.000 And then Seth Rogen goes, Mackmore, really?
02:45:34.000 Because if I told somebody to put together an anti-Semitic Jew costume, they would have the exact same shopping list. 0.59
02:45:40.000 Okay, but here's my question.
02:45:42.000 Why is it anti-Semitic?
02:45:44.000 Because he's got a big note.
02:45:45.000 But so what?
02:45:46.000 What if you did one, it was an Italian guy and he had a wife beater on with spaghetti stains on and a lot of gold chains and he went on stage. 0.99
02:45:52.000 Maybe there's some fucking morons in the Italian-American anti-defamation league who complain about it, but you're telling me that people don't exist that look like that? 0.99
02:46:00.000 They do. 1.00
02:46:01.000 That's why, for me, who's predominantly Italian, wouldn't have a problem with someone to be on stage with a white beater on and gold chains with pizza stains on it.
02:46:09.000 I mean, you could make a stereotypical Italian outfit and no one care. 0.99
02:46:13.000 Why if you made...
02:46:14.000 An outfit that makes you look like an Hasidic Jew. 1.00
02:46:16.000 Why is that anti-Hasidic Jew?
02:46:18.000 If you can tell that that looks like a Jew, why is that anti-Semitic?
02:46:24.000 Because Jews are sensitive.
02:46:25.000 Right.
02:46:26.000 I mean, you know what I'm saying?
02:46:27.000 I mean, look, we're not talking about blackface here.
02:46:29.000 Blackface has a history of the minstrel, you know... 1.00
02:46:32.000 Well, Jews would say there was a lot of anti-Hebrew propaganda in Germany that led to the extinction of a third of their population.
02:46:42.000 There was.
02:46:42.000 But is that what that is?
02:46:44.000 Did they dress up?
02:46:46.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:46:47.000 I think it goes back to what you're saying.
02:46:49.000 Intent.
02:46:49.000 Right.
02:46:50.000 I don't think Macklemore, who had gay marriage on his Grammy song, while he did a Grammy song, is going to be anti-Smack.
02:46:59.000 I don't know.
02:47:00.000 Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't feel that.
02:47:02.000 But people are, like, there's a lot of sense of, they're not all Ari where they can joke about it all the time.
02:47:07.000 Like, some people are very sensitive about that.
02:47:09.000 It's too sensitive, I think, in that situation.
02:47:11.000 I just think, look, if you dressed up like a Hasidic Jew, alright, say if you went on stage, okay, what's the rapper's name? 0.97
02:47:18.000 Badass rapper?
02:47:20.000 Eminem.
02:47:21.000 No, Hasidic guy. 0.77
02:47:22.000 Oh, yeah.
02:47:24.000 Madis Yahu.
02:47:25.000 How do you say it again?
02:47:27.000 Madis Yahu.
02:47:28.000 That guy.
02:47:28.000 Madis Yahu?
02:47:29.000 Madis Yahu. 1.00
02:47:30.000 Fuck you, man. 1.00
02:47:30.000 Say it right. 1.00
02:47:31.000 How dare you?
02:47:33.000 Rude.
02:47:36.000 I didn't even know what it was five seconds ago.
02:47:39.000 Pretending I'm offended.
02:47:42.000 Madis Yahu, if you went on stage dressed up like him, is that anti-Semitic?
02:47:48.000 If that's how he dresses, and you dressed up like him.
02:47:51.000 If you said it was him, he was just being a Jew. 0.99
02:47:54.000 Right, but what was he doing?
02:47:55.000 Well, you're saying he's not just being a Jew. 0.89
02:47:57.000 But was Macklemore, in wearing that costume, was he doing an offensive Jewish accent?
02:48:02.000 Or was he doing the same act? 0.99
02:48:03.000 Or was he just being silly? 0.92
02:48:05.000 Let's see if I can find a video of it.
02:48:06.000 I just don't understand why looking like someone or a parody of someone has to be anti. 0.94
02:48:12.000 And I use my own nationality, but I guess Italians, they're so fucking cocky into being Italian that they're not really marginalized by their, uh... 0.98
02:48:22.000 Well, there were people who, like, I had a cousin, my cousin who's Italian. 0.93
02:48:26.000 He apologized. 0.98
02:48:27.000 He fucking caved. 0.99
02:48:28.000 Yep. 1.00
02:48:28.000 You never apologized. 1.00
02:48:30.000 Macklemore issues apology for anti-Semitic Jew costume as Seth Rogen heads out on Twitter.
02:48:35.000 Seth Rogen wins again.
02:48:37.000 That's why we win again.
02:48:39.000 What is that?
02:48:40.000 That's my Seth Rogen character. 1.00
02:48:42.000 That's Yoda, you fuckhead. 1.00
02:48:43.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00
02:48:44.000 Just stop talking.
02:48:46.000 Well, you know, it's like a lot of Italians hated the Sopranos.
02:48:49.000 I'm like, dude, it's not that bad.
02:48:51.000 It's the mob. 0.99
02:48:53.000 It's not like he's not running a gay bathhouse. 1.00
02:48:56.000 It's actually kind of a cool... 0.98
02:48:58.000 I don't know.
02:48:59.000 I didn't find offense to it. 0.89
02:49:00.000 Well, it's ridiculous to say that people like that don't exist.
02:49:04.000 You're allowed to make a fictional character.
02:49:07.000 And if a fictional character is really close to actual people, that's when people start getting pissed off.
02:49:13.000 That's when people start saying it's stereotypes. 0.97
02:49:16.000 But stereotypes exist for a fucking reason. 0.99
02:49:19.000 Well, I don't know. 0.99
02:49:20.000 I think you're right.
02:49:20.000 If he just went up there and just sang dressed in that costume as him, I don't know what's actually going on.
02:49:28.000 I don't know either. 0.98
02:49:29.000 But about the Sopranos thing, the idea of not using stereotypes in painting a story is so fucking ridiculous. 0.65
02:49:37.000 Because sometimes stereotypes are accurate.
02:49:39.000 And if you're going to be able to paint a story, paint a creative vision, whether it's a television show or a movie... 0.97
02:49:46.000 What's wrong with having a black pimp? 1.00
02:49:48.000 Is that okay? 0.99
02:49:49.000 I mean, it seems like there's black pimps, there's been black... 1.00
02:49:51.000 I saw pimps up, hose down. 0.96
02:49:53.000 Is it a stereotype?
02:49:54.000 Yeah.
02:49:55.000 I mean, is it a stereotype?
02:49:57.000 I tell people...
02:49:58.000 I mean, Hollywood, I think stereotypes work, especially in commercials.
02:50:03.000 It's like casting directors, like, oh, you fit the stereotype of the character.
02:50:07.000 Well, it's not just that.
02:50:09.000 It's like if you want to paint a story about real life, you would paint a story about things that people can relate to. 0.98
02:50:14.000 And one of the things that people can relate to is an Italian guy with fucking pizza stains on his t-shirt and gold chains on. 0.99
02:50:20.000 Those are real people. 0.99
02:50:20.000 Wearing sweatsuits? 0.99
02:50:22.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:50:22.000 If you got a guy wearing sweatsuits like fucking Tony Soprano, go, hey, where's the Gabagol? 0.99
02:50:26.000 Where's the fucking guy with the thing? 0.99
02:50:28.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:50:28.000 Where's the ziti? 1.00
02:50:28.000 The fucking ziti? 1.00
02:50:29.000 Those are real people. 1.00
02:50:31.000 You know those people.
02:50:32.000 If you listen to Floyd Mayweather's dad, that's a real guy.
02:50:36.000 It's a real old black boxer.
02:50:38.000 If you're going to make a parody of an old black boxer, and you had a guy who could speak very well, and he looked like that guy, and if you got Ian Edwards to do Floyd Mayweather, would that be a stereotype?
02:50:50.000 Is it a stereotype when there's a real person that's like that?
02:50:52.000 A lot of them.
02:50:53.000 I understand.
02:50:54.000 It is a stereotype.
02:50:55.000 But shouldn't you be allowed to do that when you're portraying fiction?
02:50:58.000 The idea that the Italian-American Defamation League would want every Italian to be like Leonardo da Vinci.
02:51:04.000 Yeah.
02:51:05.000 You know?
02:51:05.000 Or Michelangelo or something like that.
02:51:07.000 Right.
02:51:07.000 Only the most positive.
02:51:08.000 You're not allowing people to create fiction.
02:51:11.000 Yeah.
02:51:11.000 You're not allowing them to create art.
02:51:12.000 Is it because it's like actual facial features though?
02:51:15.000 Like Macklemore's nose or Asian person's eyes, that's actually what they look like instead of what they're wearing? 1.00
02:51:21.000 Well, I can see what you're saying.
02:51:22.000 So like Jerry Lewis, when he would do The Nutty Professor, or the old days when they would do fake Asian characters. 0.98
02:51:31.000 Well, that's obviously impressive.
02:51:34.000 That was very stereotypical, but also very racist.
02:51:37.000 What about that famous actress who went as Orange is the New Black character who is black, and she wanted to be that character? 0.96
02:51:45.000 And everyone's like, that's blackface, but it goes back to what is the intention. 0.94
02:51:49.000 I don't know what you're talking about.
02:51:49.000 I have no idea.
02:51:50.000 Do you know, can you look that up?
02:51:52.000 The actress who went for a Halloween costume as Orange is the New Black.
02:51:57.000 She's a hot blonde actress. 1.00
02:52:01.000 And she went in blackface? 1.00
02:52:02.000 Yeah.
02:52:02.000 She went in like, as a Latino or black character, and people are like, that's blackface.
02:52:06.000 But the intention is, if I'm someone I want to go as Dwayne Wade, there's someone who went, that's it.
02:52:12.000 That's her. 0.88
02:52:12.000 Okay. 0.88
02:52:13.000 She loves the show.
02:52:15.000 What's the intention there?
02:52:16.000 Or do we have just a set rule?
02:52:18.000 Still blackface. 1.00
02:52:18.000 Yeah, you can't even go tanface. 1.00
02:52:21.000 Yeah.
02:52:22.000 Tanface is dangerous. 1.00
02:52:23.000 Right?
02:52:24.000 If you're not tan, like say you want to be a Brazilian. 0.95
02:52:27.000 You want to pretend to be Brazilian? 1.00
02:52:28.000 Yeah.
02:52:29.000 You can't do that.
02:52:30.000 You can't do that.
02:52:31.000 No, no, no, no.
02:52:32.000 You can't do tan face.
02:52:34.000 You can't do brown face.
02:52:35.000 But what you can do is whiter face. 0.67
02:52:37.000 If you're a white person...
02:52:39.000 White girls? 1.00
02:52:39.000 You can make... 1.00
02:52:40.000 No, you could do... 1.00
02:52:41.000 A white person could make the fucking... 1.00
02:52:43.000 Like, make their skin white as shit and give themselves red hair. 1.00
02:52:46.000 And no one picks up... 1.00
02:52:47.000 Like, no one picks up the slack...
02:52:49.000 I can go as Conan O'Brien.
02:52:50.000 Is that what you're saying?
02:52:51.000 Exactly.
02:52:52.000 That's what I'm saying.
02:52:52.000 Sounds like a Halloween costume.
02:52:54.000 Sam Tripoli.
02:52:55.000 Alright, dude.
02:52:56.000 What's the name of your CD again?
02:52:57.000 One more time.
02:52:58.000 Believe in Yourself.
02:52:59.000 Believe in Yourself, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99
02:53:02.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.98
02:53:03.000 It's very good material. 0.94
02:53:05.000 You can get it on iTunes.
02:53:06.000 Or allthingsrecords.com.
02:53:08.000 If you get it right now, it'll pump Sam up.
02:53:10.000 Let's get him past the top ten, ladies and gentlemen.
02:53:12.000 I would love that.
02:53:12.000 Come on.
02:53:12.000 Let's see where he's at right now while this podcast has been going on.
02:53:16.000 So we're looking for music.
02:53:18.000 Do we look for music?
02:53:19.000 And then we go to genres. 0.99
02:53:21.000 Let's go to comedy because it's a genre of music for some fucking reason. 0.96
02:53:25.000 And let's see where we're at right now. 0.96
02:53:27.000 The comedy album's number one, Jim Garfugan.
02:53:31.000 He's been number one for a while. 1.00
02:53:33.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 1.00
02:53:34.000 With the bullet. 1.00
02:53:34.000 One with the bullet. 1.00
02:53:35.000 Brian Regan's number 11. He's hilarious.
02:53:38.000 Louis C.K. is number 14. Where you at, son?
02:53:42.000 I guess I've dropped.
02:53:48.000 Punch Drunk Sports is also.
02:53:50.000 Oh dude, you're number 8. That's why.
02:53:52.000 Yes!
02:53:52.000 You're beating Louis C.K., man.
02:53:53.000 Dude, you're beating everybody.
02:53:55.000 Yay! 1.00
02:53:55.000 You're kicking ass, man. 1.00
02:53:56.000 You're beating Brian Regan. 1.00
02:53:57.000 That's why I couldn't find you.
02:53:58.000 You're beating Louis Black. 0.91
02:54:00.000 Powerful. 1.00
02:54:00.000 Just through the fucking power of the internet. 1.00
02:54:03.000 I'm so excited to be top 10. You're not on any TV shows right now. 0.99
02:54:07.000 You're just slamming it home through the internets.
02:54:09.000 I'm really excited.
02:54:10.000 Thank you, everybody.
02:54:11.000 Congratulations, my brother.
02:54:12.000 Congratulations.
02:54:12.000 That's the best thing ever.
02:54:14.000 Powerful Sam Tripoli.
02:54:17.000 Top 10. Follow him online.
02:54:20.000 Tomorrow night, Ice House Comedy Club.
02:54:23.000 Bill Burr.
02:54:24.000 Tony Hinchcliffe.
02:54:26.000 Me.
02:54:27.000 Who else?
02:54:28.000 Ian Edwards. 1.00
02:54:29.000 God damn, that's a show. 1.00
02:54:31.000 Tomorrow night, 10.30. 1.00
02:54:32.000 You want to go up?
02:54:33.000 You around?
02:54:34.000 Punch Shunk Sports.
02:54:35.000 Brian Redman as well.
02:54:36.000 Brian Redman as well. 1.00
02:54:37.000 Don't do that fucking name, that voice. 1.00
02:54:39.000 That's not what he sounds like. 1.00
02:54:42.000 You don't think so?
02:54:42.000 The Naughty Show.
02:54:43.000 No.
02:54:44.000 No.
02:54:44.000 Come on.
02:54:45.000 Help you, I can.
02:54:46.000 No.
02:54:46.000 Joe, you just got to watch the movie.
02:54:47.000 Just shut the fuck up. 1.00
02:54:49.000 You're the worst impressionist of all time. 1.00
02:54:52.000 Tomorrow night, Ice House.
02:54:54.000 Okay, we'll see you soon.
02:54:56.000 Thanks to the sponsors.
02:54:57.000 Thanks to Squarespace.com.
02:54:59.000 Go to Squarespace.com and use the code word Joe to save yourself some money.
02:55:05.000 Thanks also to Onnit.com.
02:55:07.000 Go to O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGUE and save 10% off any and all supplements.
02:55:13.000 The Canada dates that I got coming up for next month.
02:55:16.000 The Orpheum on June 13th. 0.99
02:55:18.000 Selling out fast, bitches. 1.00
02:55:20.000 And Lloyd Minster on June 12th. 0.99
02:55:24.000 And I think it's sold out already.
02:55:25.000 If it's not, it's very close to it.
02:55:28.000 And that's it.
02:55:30.000 Much love.
02:55:31.000 See you guys soon.
02:55:31.000 And big kiss to you all.
02:55:34.000 Mwah.
02:55:35.000 Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.