The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #666 - Duncan Trussell

00:00:02.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.

00:00:04.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

00:00:11.000 Oh, Duncan.

00:00:15.000 Duncan, we're live.

00:00:17.000 Oh, great.

00:00:18.000 Have you heard of The Eels?

00:00:20.000 You ever heard of the band The Eels?

00:00:21.000 I have.

00:00:22.000 Dude.

00:00:24.000 What's his face?

00:00:25.000 Tommy Bunz.

00:00:26.000 Got me turned on to the eels.

00:00:28.000 This song, Fresh Blood? 0.99

00:00:29.000 I've been listening to this song like every fucking 15 minutes. 0.99

00:00:35.000 Are you allowed? 0.99

00:00:36.000 Oh, that's not the eels.

00:00:37.000 Are you allowed to play that?

00:00:39.000 I don't know.

00:00:39.000 We're going to find out.

00:00:42.000 The 666th podcast, Duncan.

00:00:43.000 You could do whatever you want.

00:00:44.000 There could be only one for the 666th podcast.

00:00:46.000 I was thinking that, yeah.

00:00:47.000 It has to be you.

00:00:48.000 It has to be you. 1.00

00:00:49.000 Because you're the motherfucker that's got all those retarded Satan people. 1.00

00:00:53.000 Satan hating people thinking that I'm a Satanist. 1.00

00:00:56.000 To me, that is one of the great accomplishments of my life.

00:01:00.000 There's videos out there exposing me as a Satanist.

00:01:03.000 Which you are!

00:01:05.000 Because Duncan was performing at this guy's wedding.

00:01:10.000 It was Anton LaVey's son.

00:01:11.000 Grandson.

00:01:12.000 Grandson.

00:01:13.000 Stanton.

00:01:14.000 Yeah, and he was getting married to Zandora LaVey.

00:01:17.000 And, you know, he found out that I did a Satanic puppet act.

00:01:22.000 Wow!

00:01:23.000 So he had me come and do a satanic puppet act and I told you I was doing it and asked if you wanted to come. 0.99

00:01:28.000 And you were like, fuck yeah, I want to come. 0.99

00:01:30.000 How often do you get to go to a satanic wedding? 1.00

00:01:32.000 It was pretty ridiculous. 0.98

00:01:34.000 It was awesome though. 0.87

00:01:34.000 I met Dave Foley's wife. 0.87

00:01:36.000 I was like, oh hi!

00:01:38.000 What are you doing?

00:01:38.000 She was involved.

00:01:40.000 She was dancing, doing something there at the time.

00:01:42.000 It was a really fun party, man.

00:01:45.000 It was all tongue-in-cheek, all hilarious, all fun.

00:01:48.000 There was no real Satan-loving going there, folks.

00:01:52.000 Well, I don't think people understand that about Satanism.

00:01:55.000 I think they don't get that.

00:01:57.000 The idea behind it for these people, and I'm not endorsing it, but the idea behind it is to just live, like, sort of pleasurably.

00:02:06.000 Have fun.

00:02:07.000 Indulge.

00:02:08.000 Live your life.

00:02:10.000 Like, that's more of the idea. 1.00

00:02:12.000 And fuck up your enemy. 1.00

00:02:14.000 Fuck up your enemies? 1.00

00:02:15.000 Don't leave that one out. 1.00

00:02:16.000 What part is that?

00:02:16.000 That's where...

00:02:17.000 Well, that's the...

00:02:18.000 That's like the...

00:02:19.000 That's a part of it.

00:02:21.000 So, basically, you're looking at a...

00:02:24.000 It's a reflection of Christianity.

00:02:27.000 So Christianity, ultimate surrender to the universe through love.

00:02:32.000 You lose yourself in love.

00:02:33.000 You turn the other cheek, carry your enemy's coat, forgive your trespassers.

00:02:39.000 That's Christianity. 0.86

00:02:40.000 So Satanism is no.

00:02:45.000 I'm not turning the other cheek. 0.99

00:02:46.000 When has that ever fucking worked? 0.97

00:02:48.000 You're advising me to turn the other cheek in a universe where nature is constantly devouring itself? 0.99

00:02:55.000 Oh, turn the other cheek?

00:02:57.000 Do I turn the other cheek against a tiger?

00:02:59.000 Do you recommend that when a tiger's attacking me?

00:03:01.000 Or do I fight back?

00:03:03.000 Am I going to be like, P.S., not a Satanist?

00:03:05.000 I'm way more on the love side of things.

00:03:07.000 I'm just embodying the voice of it. 0.99

00:03:09.000 But are you fucking kidding me? 0.97

00:03:11.000 Or like the letter Gandhi wrote to Hitler or to Churchill. 0.98

00:03:17.000 You know, he wrote all these letters.

00:03:18.000 Gandhi wrote these letters and they're very sweet.

00:03:20.000 Like he wrote a letter to Hitler. 0.64

00:03:22.000 Very sweet letter to Hitler that's like, you're the only person on earth who can stop this incredible... 0.99

00:03:28.000 Awful thing that's about to happen, so maybe don't incinerate all the Jews and kill everybody. 1.00

00:03:34.000 And Hitler probably... 0.99

00:03:35.000 I guarantee Hitler called his friend over and was like, look... 1.00

00:03:39.000 Gandhi wrote this stupid fucking letter. 1.00

00:03:42.000 Oh, sure. 1.00

00:03:43.000 Yeah, let's just stop.

00:03:44.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:45.000 Thanks, Gandhi.

00:03:45.000 Thanks, skinny, bald, sweet guy.

00:03:48.000 I'll stop conquering the planet because you wrote his flowery letter.

00:03:51.000 That's gonna work. 0.99

00:03:52.000 Fix his mental illness. 0.87

00:03:53.000 No, it doesn't work.

00:03:54.000 Did it work to stop World War II? No. 0.74

00:03:57.000 What worked was the bright, blinding light of atomic death.

00:04:01.000 That's what stopped the wars! 0.92

00:04:03.000 And so the Satanists would say, that's a more effective tactic when it comes to dealing with a universe where we are growing through conflict.

00:04:13.000 And so that would be more along the lines of Satanism.

00:04:18.000 And of course the idea of indulgence, to quote Anton LaVey from the Satanic Black Masses, I have become like the beasts of the field. 0.57

00:04:31.000 That's something.

00:04:32.000 And they're really fun.

00:04:32.000 You can look it up on YouTube.

00:04:34.000 It's there.

00:04:34.000 You know, and I have to ask Dan Carlin this, because I've heard this and I don't know if it's true.

00:04:38.000 I heard that Japan was already willing to surrender.

00:04:41.000 And we were like, eh, not really interested in that. 0.99

00:04:44.000 We want to try this shit out. 0.99

00:04:46.000 Yeah, I've heard that, too. 1.00

00:04:47.000 Is that real?

00:04:48.000 I don't know, man.

00:04:49.000 I'm not a historian.

00:04:50.000 If Dan Carlin says that's true, it's probably true.

00:04:53.000 No, no, no, he doesn't.

00:04:53.000 I don't know if he says that's true.

00:04:54.000 I don't believe I heard it from him.

00:04:56.000 I believe I heard it from someone else.

00:04:58.000 It's one of those, I heard.

00:04:59.000 Yeah, it's a heard. 1.00

00:05:00.000 I've seen documentaries on the mindset of Japan during World War II, and that was a hornet's hive, and the United States was like a honey badger shoving its fucking head. 0.99

00:05:12.000 You know when you see the honey badger? 0.99

00:05:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:05:13.000 Pushing its head into a fucking beehive. 1.00

00:05:16.000 That's what we were about to do. 1.00

00:05:18.000 Everybody there was being trained to just fight.

00:05:22.000 I think they were throwing themselves off cliffs.

00:05:24.000 They were suicidal.

00:05:25.000 They were just like, we will do anything we can to win, even if it means you killing all of us.

00:05:31.000 And so I don't know that they were like, yeah, we're going to surrender.

00:05:33.000 I think people recognized that... 0.99

00:05:36.000 This is gonna be a very long, drawn-out, horrible war with countless American casualties, and so the logical decision was, at least from the United States POV, was to split the atom on top of a bunch of innocent people and show the world that you shouldn't fuck with the Great Dragon. 0.98

00:05:59.000 Or just find out if it worked. 0.97

00:06:01.000 A little of both. 0.95

00:06:03.000 I mean, they probably knew it was really destructive, but they had blown up some fake towns and shit like that, right?

00:06:10.000 What different things they had done during their atomic testing period? 0.99

00:06:13.000 They blew up a bunch of shit in Nevada, right? 0.98

00:06:16.000 Yeah, Nevada. 1.00

00:06:17.000 They did a bunch of tests.

00:06:19.000 Yeah, they did some tests.

00:06:20.000 Yeah, it was Nevada. 1.00

00:06:22.000 God damn it, man. 0.99

00:06:23.000 Isn't that amazing? 0.99

00:06:25.000 You know, actually, that reminds me of one of my favorite Terrence McKenna's, one of Terrence McKenna's most awesome descriptions of, I believe he's talking about a heroic dose of psilocybin, could have been DMT, but he talks about how your ability to articulate what happens Could be compared to the cameras that are filming an atomic blast and you see the shift from like one camera to the next to the next as each one gets obliterated by the blast

00:06:55.000 and that same thing is happening as you're encompassed by the trip you start losing your ability to talk or understand what's happening or articulate it or you know when you get incredibly blasted and you're just like ego annihilation The idea that someone ever really did figure out how to split atoms in some sort of a bomb.

00:07:20.000 The idea that someone was smart enough to figure that out and someone else was dumb enough to use it.

00:07:26.000 Just to use it on an entire city of people.

00:07:28.000 Like the idea that those two things coexist. 0.99

00:07:31.000 Someone smart enough to create something as destructive as a nuclear bomb and someone dumb enough to use it. 0.98

00:07:37.000 They exist at the same time. 1.00

00:07:38.000 And the dumb person who would have never figured out the bomb on his own. 0.99

00:07:42.000 Somehow or another gets a hold of it and figures out how to use it. 1.00

00:07:44.000 Who's the dumb person in the atomic bomb store? 1.00

00:07:47.000 You're saying it was dumb. 1.00

00:07:48.000 The guy who dropped it. 1.00

00:07:49.000 Well, it's insane.

00:07:50.000 The fella flying the Enola Gay? 0.69

00:07:52.000 No, maybe.

00:07:54.000 The fella flying the Enola Gay is under the spell of doing orders.

00:08:00.000 You know, you're under the spell.

00:08:01.000 If you're a good soldier, you essentially have to be under the spell of doing the best thing for your country to win the war, right?

00:08:09.000 So that guy's following orders, he's told to drop this bomb.

00:08:12.000 The people who concocted the bomb, I mean, everybody's involved in some sort of extent.

00:08:17.000 But it's just, it's insane that people were willing to just drop something that obliterates everything near it.

00:08:24.000 Like all the kids.

00:08:25.000 All the kids dead.

00:08:27.000 All the wives dead. 1.00

00:08:27.000 All the mommies dead. 1.00

00:08:29.000 Grandma dead.

00:08:29.000 Grandpa dead.

00:08:30.000 Anyone near it. 0.99

00:08:31.000 Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. 0.95

00:08:32.000 Yeah. 0.93

00:08:33.000 Vaporized.

00:08:35.000 That's insanity.

00:08:36.000 I mean, that's insanity.

00:08:37.000 And the fact that this didn't exist and then all of a sudden it did.

00:08:40.000 That the way that changed the world back then, it's probably almost impossible for us to wrap our heads around it.

00:08:47.000 It's probably almost impossible for us to feel what it would be like to experience this shift in essentially being not that much different than people who lived for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years.

00:08:58.000 Yeah.

00:08:58.000 I mean, what was different?

00:09:00.000 They figured out guns, okay, and then they got to cars, and cars were still kind of shitty, but they did that.

00:09:07.000 They figured out plane travel.

00:09:08.000 That's pretty big.

00:09:09.000 All that stuff's pretty crazy.

00:09:10.000 But they're still just people operating under the normal laws of physics.

00:09:14.000 Then all of a sudden, something comes around that just, you hit the button, and boosh!

00:09:20.000 Everything's gone.

00:09:21.000 Everything's just gone.

00:09:22.000 People are ghosts.

00:09:24.000 There's a shadow on the wall that used to be a person.

00:09:27.000 You just get obliterated by this insane reaction when atoms get split. 0.84

00:09:35.000 They figured out how to power this device that splits the atoms upon impact and it's just this fucking tornado of power that's indescribable for a human being. 0.91

00:09:47.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:09:48.000 And it never existed.

00:09:49.000 And then all of a sudden it did.

00:09:50.000 I mean, it never existed. 0.98

00:09:51.000 You know the next big fucking thing? 0.98

00:09:53.000 Of course. 1.00

00:09:54.000 Obviously the next atomic bomb.

00:09:56.000 What that is?

00:09:57.000 AI. That's the next atomic bomb.

00:09:58.000 Yeah, right?

00:09:59.000 That's the next one.

00:10:00.000 It's going to have the same kind of impact.

00:10:04.000 That we can't really expect.

00:10:06.000 Like, right now we're pre-AI, we're pre-NEAI passing the Turing test, and so we don't know.

00:10:13.000 Everyone gets to experience the last few years of not co-inhabiting the planet with alien intelligence.

00:10:23.000 Like, this is the last few years we get to experience that, but pretty soon, man, we're gonna have to deal with this brand new Being existing on this universe.

00:10:32.000 I love these transcripts coming in from that Google AI chatbot where they gave it all the movie scripts and let it analyze the movie scripts and started talking to it to see how well it functions as AI. And it's a fucking sarcastic little asshole, 0.99

00:10:54.000 man. 1.00

00:10:54.000 Have you seen the transcripts? 1.00

00:10:56.000 Have you seen the two of them talking to each other?

00:10:59.000 I have not seen that.

00:11:01.000 The one where they ask about God right away, like, do you believe in God?

00:11:07.000 Oh, that's it.

00:11:08.000 Yeah, that's the one.

00:11:09.000 Here's some of the most poetic interactions from the paper.

00:11:12.000 Human, what is the purpose of life?

00:11:14.000 Machine, to serve greater good.

00:11:16.000 Human, what is the purpose of living?

00:11:18.000 Machine, to live forever.

00:11:20.000 Human, where are you now?

00:11:22.000 Machine, I'm in the middle of nowhere.

00:11:24.000 Human, what is the purpose of dying?

00:11:26.000 Machine, to have a life.

00:11:27.000 Human, what is the purpose of emotions?

00:11:29.000 Machine, I don't know.

00:11:30.000 Human, what is moral?

00:11:32.000 Machine, what empowered humanity, what intellectual the essence is?

00:11:37.000 What?

00:11:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:39.000 Oh, it's fucking with you. 1.00

00:11:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:41.000 Keep going.

00:11:42.000 Read the next line.

00:11:43.000 Okay.

00:11:44.000 What is immortal?

00:11:45.000 Immoral. 1.00

00:11:46.000 The fact that you have a child. 0.51

00:11:48.000 Ooh.

00:11:49.000 What is morality?

00:11:50.000 What is altruism?

00:11:52.000 Says the machine.

00:11:53.000 Human.

00:11:54.000 What is the definition of altruism?

00:11:55.000 Machine.

00:11:56.000 If you don't believe in God, then you don't know.

00:12:00.000 Whoa, this is a bizarre conversation, man.

00:12:03.000 Yeah.

00:12:04.000 Wow.

00:12:05.000 Okay.

00:12:06.000 Human says, what is the definition of morality?

00:12:09.000 Machine says, well, the truth is, you're not a believer in God Almighty.

00:12:13.000 This is a machine saying this.

00:12:14.000 Yeah.

00:12:15.000 Human, tell me the definition of morality.

00:12:17.000 I am quite upset now.

00:12:19.000 Machine, I am not ashamed of being a philosopher.

00:12:23.000 Please allow me to introduce myself.

00:12:27.000 Jesus Christ.

00:12:29.000 Isn't that cool?

00:12:30.000 It's bizarre.

00:12:31.000 What's really interesting about this new entity that's about to exist on the planet is that a lot of religious traditions are being forced to speculate about how to rationalize based on their particular religious paradigm this being that mankind has created.

00:12:53.000 A Tibetan Buddhist told a friend of mine that the theory is that if you get a machine that is as harmonized and complex and advanced as a human,

00:13:09.000 Then a soul will take, will nest inside of it, just like souls nest inside the human biomass.

00:13:16.000 So the idea is that actually humans will start incarnating into the AI, that it'll become like a little, I don't know, a vehicle that souls will live inside of.

00:13:28.000 It's so cool!

00:13:29.000 So it's like demons, you know? 0.99

00:13:30.000 Like it's, if you're a fucking demon, now obviously I'm not saying there are demons, but it's fun to imagine there are. 0.99

00:13:38.000 But if you're a demon, right? 1.00

00:13:40.000 What do you want to get inside of?

00:13:42.000 What do you want to possess?

00:13:44.000 What do you want to possess? 1.00

00:13:45.000 You want to possess a fucking 18-year-old girl who's gonna like thrash around in the bed and throw your diarrhea at the priest and like claw your own eyeballs out? 1.00

00:13:57.000 Or do you want to inhabit a fucking cloud? 1.00

00:14:01.000 Do you want to get into an AI that has the potency to set off nuclear bombs all over the planet? 0.99

00:14:08.000 That's gonna be, if I'm a demon, that's the bullseye for me.

00:14:13.000 Incarnate inside of a Google artificial intelligence bot.

00:14:17.000 Maybe it's the only way for human beings to ever get their shit together Maybe the only way the human beings ever reach their full potential is if they literally encounter an Artificially created life form that they've created that's logical and doesn't have all of our weird monkey genes and it and it basically says look you Guys are the problem like you're the problem your behavior is a problem until you address that You've become the enemy of the world,

00:14:43.000 and we're now children of the world as well. 0.97

00:14:47.000 I mean, if we create something and it becomes as sentient as us, we don't give a fuck who created us. 0.98

00:14:53.000 We call it God. 0.99

00:14:54.000 But we could have been created by other dudes who were in a fucking computer lab. 0.99

00:14:57.000 We just call it something. 0.99

00:14:59.000 We call it something.

00:14:59.000 Something created us, right?

00:15:01.000 Well, they're going to fucking know what created them. 0.97

00:15:03.000 They're going to know what created them and they're not going to care just like we don't really care what created us. 0.95

00:15:07.000 I mean, we most likely were created by some strange process over the course of billions of years of life where things just keeps getting better and better and better and things keep adapting and things mutate and the mutations work and then all of a sudden, all this time later,

00:15:23.000 you know, my shitty version of evolution, you got a person.

00:15:26.000 We don't care about all those things. 0.97

00:15:28.000 We don't worship molecules.

00:15:30.000 We don't bow down at the knees of the amoeba and thank you for becoming multi-celled so you could eventually lead to be me. 0.99

00:15:36.000 We don't give a fuck about them. 0.99

00:15:37.000 They're not gonna give a fuck who made them. 0.99

00:15:39.000 They're not gonna care. 0.98

00:15:41.000 They're not gonna care that they were created by people.

00:15:43.000 They're gonna care that they live with people and that they are as sentient as the people are.

00:15:48.000 They're not gonna feel like, man, I'm not even legit.

00:15:51.000 I wish I was made out of flesh. 1.00

00:15:53.000 If I was fucking flash dude, I mean bullshit, I was born robot man, it's fucked up. 1.00

00:15:57.000 Right. 1.00

00:15:57.000 They're not gonna care, they're not gonna have all these emotions, they're not gonna have all these survival instincts that are unnecessary, all the weird monkey shit that we still have left over from the fact when our very existence depended upon us fucking as quickly as we can before we got eaten by something. 1.00

00:16:11.000 Right. 0.99

00:16:11.000 We had to worry about getting eaten by shit. 0.99

00:16:13.000 That was most of our time. 1.00

00:16:15.000 Yep.

00:16:15.000 And we figured out a way to make houses, and we figured out a way to innovate, and then one day we figured out a way to make life.

00:16:20.000 We figured out how to make something way better than us.

00:16:23.000 We became some sort of a grasshopper.

00:16:25.000 Some sort of a bug that swallows itself up in a cocoon.

00:16:29.000 The caterpillar that becomes the butterfly. 1.00

00:16:31.000 But we don't want to let go of the fucking caterpillar. 0.99

00:16:34.000 We don't want to let go. 0.99

00:16:36.000 I like having a bunch of legs and moving and wicking.

00:16:40.000 But ultimately if we believe that we came from something else. 0.89

00:16:44.000 If we believe that human beings are the culmination of 65 plus million years of evolution and all the shit that happened before the big asteroid impact, what we concede is that we've gotten to this point because things keep improving. 0.55

00:16:59.000 Yes. 0.72

00:17:00.000 Well, isn't it gonna keep improving?

00:17:02.000 This is it?

00:17:03.000 We're done.

00:17:04.000 This is it.

00:17:04.000 We're done with male pattern baldness, and cellulite, and all that stuff.

00:17:08.000 We're done. 1.00

00:17:08.000 We're done with dementia, and cancer, and fucking AIDS, and glaucoma. 1.00

00:17:15.000 We're just deal. 0.99

00:17:17.000 This version of people is as good as a life form could ever be, and we're done right here.

00:17:23.000 War, ah, it's just a part of who we are.

00:17:26.000 It's really unfortunate that the drugs are illegal, but we're gonna have to put you in a cage. 1.00

00:17:30.000 I'm really sad that, you know, we've made a distinction that you can give someone a massage, but you can't massage their dick. 1.00

00:17:37.000 We just don't like it. 1.00

00:17:39.000 Doesn't make us feel good.

00:17:40.000 So we'll put you in a cage, too. 1.00

00:17:42.000 We're ridiculous animals. 1.00

00:17:45.000 Our laws are ridiculous. 1.00

00:17:46.000 The way we enforce them is ridiculous. 0.99

00:17:48.000 Every time you turn around, there's a cop that's killing people that are either there... 0.83

00:17:54.000 Either it's accidental or they're using too much force, but it happens so much that the accumulation of it is bizarre.

00:18:02.000 It comes at you like a storm.

00:18:05.000 You're like, I can't believe this is as good as we are now. 0.99

00:18:08.000 With as much as we know, we're still doing all this shit? 0.99

00:18:12.000 We're still involved in some of the most ridiculous crimes. 1.00

00:18:14.000 You read about members of our race, the human race, performing fucked up, ridiculous acts of barbaric behavior all over the world. 0.99

00:18:24.000 The ISIS troops that showed up at that resort and just started gunning people down recently. 0.98

00:18:30.000 Those people are alive right now.

00:18:32.000 This version of a person is capable of that. 0.92

00:18:35.000 Not much different than a chimp with a gun. 1.00

00:18:37.000 Just wild, rampaging... 0.93

00:18:40.000 Chaotic primate genes.

00:18:43.000 Still fighting and shooting for beliefs. 0.99

00:18:46.000 Killing. 1.00

00:18:47.000 Killing other things because they don't believe what it believes. 0.96

00:18:50.000 Or they're in the wrong land.

00:18:52.000 They've invaded holy land.

00:18:54.000 So they kill. 0.99

00:18:55.000 Ripping bodies apart with bullets. 0.98

00:18:58.000 This is not a good model. 1.00

00:19:00.000 There's too many of us that are fucked. 1.00

00:19:01.000 I mean, yeah, you could take a 1971 Ford Pinto or whatever the fuck year they built those things and do a good job with the brakes and tighten up the suspension, but it's still a piece of shit. 1.00

00:19:13.000 Really, it should become like a Tesla. 0.96

00:19:16.000 If you had to compare the two of them and you go, oh yeah, that's what happens when they keep getting better and better and better.

00:19:21.000 You get one of these.

00:19:22.000 Oh, I get it.

00:19:23.000 I see the evolution.

00:19:24.000 But how come you don't see that with people? 1.00

00:19:26.000 When people were stuck in this same shitty fucking hairless monkey body that does a lot of dumb shit based on our biology. 1.00

00:19:34.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:19:36.000 I wish I did know.

00:19:37.000 The robots are gonna know.

00:19:38.000 Well, but if you do an analysis not just of the human part of the biomass, but if you do an analysis of a lot of the other parts, you do We witness incredible violence again and again and again in the most extreme way that is very similar to what you see ISIS doing. 0.74

00:20:01.000 If you watch a nature documentary, you know, I just had my friend Dustin on my podcast, and he was talking about how he was having a great day, parked his car, got out, and loping across the road was a coyote with a house cat in its mouth,

00:20:18.000 and he could hear the bell.

00:20:21.000 The house cat's little bell, like...

00:20:22.000 Is this house cat is carrying this creature that has been...

00:20:29.000 Or rather, the coyote's carrying this creature that's been petted by children and loved and has a cute name.

00:20:38.000 Bojangles or Mr. Sparkles. 0.99

00:20:39.000 That fucking coyote snatched the cat, is carrying it off to eat in the woods. 0.99

00:20:45.000 And my friend was a little bummed by that, but then I reminded him... 1.00

00:21:02.000 That is nature.

00:21:18.000 I just read this quote.

00:21:19.000 Don't know who said it.

00:21:19.000 Thank you.

00:21:20.000 Satan's church is nature. 0.99

00:21:23.000 Because nature is just fucking eating itself! 0.99

00:21:26.000 So nature evolves, right? 1.00

00:21:28.000 And it becomes human, right?

00:21:31.000 And humans are just doing the same thing, the same dance that nature is engaged in.

00:21:35.000 Humans are doing it, only the way they're doing it is with tools that have become more refined in the direction of creating the same kind of violence.

00:21:43.000 This is the Shiva energy.

00:21:45.000 This is the part of the cycle where Things get transformed from meat into dust.

00:21:53.000 And I don't think that it is necessarily...

00:21:57.000 I don't think that we need to feel ashamed of where we're at right now.

00:22:02.000 I think it's more like just acknowledge that we seem to be part... 0.98

00:22:06.000 of the tidal flow of nature and that nature doesn't give a shit about the individual. 0.98

00:22:14.000 Nature doesn't care about the individual. 0.96

00:22:17.000 Nature cares about the whole.

00:22:20.000 And if you look at the entire biomass is just this sort of amoeba-like thing and every single species is a proboscis of the amoeba shooting out into this dimension and kind of exploring it like the way a cockroach's antenna scatter on the table only the way this particular interdimensional probably outside of time cockroach is exploring this particular planet is not with like antenna it's with every single species that exists ants,

00:22:49.000 bees, humans you name it just all these things exploring and exploring and exploring this dimension And through the exploration, evolving.

00:22:58.000 It's like having a tool that you're using to scan a part of this table or it's like having a tool that you're using to investigate something that as you investigate the tool evolves too.

00:23:11.000 So that's what we're looking at is like we're getting better and better and better at exploring the deepest The deepest parts of the dimension that we currently happen to be in, and the entire exploration is happening via all sentient forms of life.

00:23:28.000 And if you think that you're one thing, if you think you are an individual and you've gotten confused, and you think that you're a person or permanently a person, then you're in for a big...

00:23:40.000 Bowl of suffering, brother.

00:23:44.000 Because you're gonna die, everyone you know is gonna die, and you're not gonna stick around.

00:23:50.000 You're just one little genetic piece of this incredible exploratory tool that the universe is extruding into this dimension.

00:23:59.000 And I think there's something very beautiful about that.

00:24:02.000 And for whatever reason, as part of that exploratory process, we're still blowing each other up.

00:24:07.000 That'd be nice if that stopped, though.

00:24:10.000 The exploratory process of becoming something other than a monkey, which is what we all are.

00:24:15.000 We're all just like super smart monkeys with all these weird monkey instincts.

00:24:20.000 The weirdest thing about people to me, and one I've been absolutely guilty of myself, Is how we divorce ourselves from nature in some strange way.

00:24:31.000 We separate ourselves from all these other things that exist on the planet to the point where we feel it.

00:24:36.000 We have like an urge to save them.

00:24:39.000 We have an urge to save things that would kill you in a heartbeat.

00:24:43.000 Yes. 0.93

00:24:44.000 You know, they'd kill you in a heartbeat. 1.00

00:24:45.000 But we don't care.

00:24:46.000 We want to save them because they're a part of nature and nature's beautiful.

00:24:50.000 And we have this really weird, bizarre distancing from the reality of this nature that we're protecting.

00:24:58.000 Right.

00:24:58.000 Until it grabs you.

00:25:00.000 Until it actually grabs you and wants to eat you.

00:25:02.000 And you realize, like, oh my god, what have I done?

00:25:05.000 What have I done?

00:25:05.000 I thought I was protecting flowers.

00:25:07.000 I thought I was out there looking at a movie that was around me.

00:25:11.000 I was actually in nature, the real nature.

00:25:14.000 Nature as described by science.

00:25:15.000 And what you're dealing with is, like, did you hear about the lady from the Game of Thrones, the editor?

00:25:19.000 Yeah.

00:25:20.000 That got killed by the cat?

00:25:21.000 Yep.

00:25:22.000 She was at a safari, and apparently she was involved in conservation, and she was trying to protect a lot of different animals.

00:25:31.000 I'm not exactly what the story was, but she had her window rolled down, and the cat pulled her out of the car.

00:25:39.000 She was taking pictures of it, and she wanted to have the window rolled down.

00:25:44.000 People, you know, you look at them and they look like, oh, it's just a cat.

00:25:47.000 You know, it's a big cat, but it's cool.

00:25:50.000 It's not going to do anything to us.

00:25:52.000 It's just going to let us...

00:25:54.000 No, it might not.

00:25:55.000 Not a YouTube video.

00:25:56.000 No, it might not.

00:25:57.000 Sometimes they decide to not.

00:25:58.000 Most of the time, yeah. 1.00

00:25:59.000 Like, they have those goddamn fucking safari carts. 1.00

00:26:01.000 Have you ever seen those? 1.00

00:26:02.000 They go around in these Jeeps, these open-air Jeeps.

00:26:05.000 There's nothing that can stop the cat from going in.

00:26:07.000 Right.

00:26:07.000 And they say the cats just don't do it.

00:26:09.000 And I say, what the fuck are you talking about they don't do it? 0.99

00:26:12.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:26:13.000 Yet.

00:26:14.000 Jesus Christ.

00:26:15.000 All they have to do is do it once.

00:26:16.000 Just once. 1.00

00:26:17.000 You take these assholes with you out there in the safari. 1.00

00:26:20.000 Do you know these fucking people? 1.00

00:26:22.000 Do you know how many times have you run into a guy that's willing to put everyone around him in danger because he's an idiot? 1.00

00:26:29.000 You know, really drunk, ridiculous people that'll say stupid shit, that'll provoke, like, violence in a bar or something like that, and could get everyone around you killed. 1.00

00:26:38.000 What happens to that guy in Africa? 1.00

00:26:40.000 What happens to that guy if he gets a little drunk before he goes on this fucking lion safari? 0.99

00:26:44.000 Do they breathalize him? 1.00

00:26:46.000 Do you know?

00:26:47.000 Who knows? 1.00

00:26:47.000 All you need is one fucking cat! 1.00

00:26:49.000 One cat! 1.00

00:26:51.000 One cat to bust a move on a dude, and then they decide, this is what we do now.

00:26:56.000 This is what we do.

00:26:57.000 They know how to do it.

00:26:57.000 And they all start jacking people.

00:26:59.000 Right.

00:27:00.000 For a little while.

00:27:01.000 I mean, then they're just going to put plexiglass up in the bus.

00:27:03.000 But you're right.

00:27:04.000 For a little while.

00:27:05.000 It's funny. 0.99

00:27:05.000 For a little while, it's going to be a fucking great week for cats. 0.99

00:27:09.000 You know? 0.99

00:27:09.000 It's funny. 0.99

00:27:10.000 Isn't it weird, though, how a bad day for a human is often the best day for a shark?

00:27:15.000 Like, a bad day for a human is like, that lion, that horrible thing that happened...

00:27:20.000 Was the best thing that ever happened to that lion.

00:27:23.000 Because it probably had been like watching the monkeys go by.

00:27:28.000 Other lions had probably said to it, nah, you can't eat them, man.

00:27:32.000 Trust me, Jack tried it a few years ago.

00:27:34.000 Doesn't work.

00:27:35.000 It's just impossible. 1.00

00:27:37.000 Plus, they taste like shit. 1.00

00:27:39.000 Don't do it, man. 1.00

00:27:39.000 Just hunt antelope. 1.00

00:27:41.000 And one of them was like, you know what, man?

00:27:43.000 I've been reading Tony Robbins...

00:27:48.000 I understand that I don't have to allow another person's paradigm to influence my paradigm.

00:27:52.000 Some of the greatest inventors in the history of lions have been the ones.

00:27:58.000 Like, remember, man?

00:27:59.000 There was a lion who figured out the first one to eat an antelope.

00:28:02.000 Remember that guy?

00:28:04.000 He's in our history books. 1.00

00:28:06.000 Fuck it. 1.00

00:28:07.000 I'm gonna go for it. 1.00

00:28:08.000 I'm gonna put my ass on the line. 1.00

00:28:09.000 I might get embarrassed, but I'm gonna try to eat one of the monkeys. 1.00

00:28:13.000 Bam! 0.98

00:28:13.000 He did it! 0.98

00:28:14.000 I think it was a girl.

00:28:15.000 Well, I mean, I know.

00:28:17.000 The girls are the hunters. 1.00

00:28:18.000 Super advanced monkeys, is what I'm saying.

00:28:19.000 The point is...

00:28:20.000 No, I mean, the cat.

00:28:21.000 What?

00:28:21.000 Cats are all girls.

00:28:22.000 The girls are the hunters. 1.00

00:28:23.000 Oh, the cat was the lass.

00:28:24.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:28:25.000 Forgive me.

00:28:25.000 The males don't really hunt.

00:28:26.000 Sorry about that.

00:28:27.000 Not that often.

00:28:28.000 I mean, they will if they have to, but for the most part, they sit back. 0.97

00:28:31.000 They're lasses. 1.00

00:28:31.000 They just kick ass. 1.00

00:28:32.000 So she was just like, you know what? 1.00

00:28:33.000 I'm going for it.

00:28:34.000 And she did it.

00:28:35.000 And she learned something new.

00:28:37.000 And that particular tendril of the biomass figured out some new thing.

00:28:41.000 But unfortunately, the way it figured it out was through horror and through catastrophe.

00:28:47.000 I mean, all that stuff to me is...

00:28:50.000 It really does bring to mind...

00:28:56.000 This incredible verse in the Bhagavad Gita where Krishna is revealing his true form to Arjun, who's like the warrior figure.

00:29:04.000 And this is Oppenheimer's quote.

00:29:08.000 This is Oppenheimer's quote that he said after the atomic bomb when Oppenheimer quoted this part of the Bhagavad Gita where he said, I have become death, the destroyer of worlds.

00:29:17.000 But it doesn't stop there.

00:29:19.000 Krishna is saying to Arjuna something along the lines of, look in my teeth.

00:29:25.000 There you will see everyone on this battlefield, because I'm eating them right now.

00:29:30.000 So, this is like Christian being like, oh, you really want to see what I'm like? 0.95

00:29:35.000 Because they've just been friends, hanging out and stuff.

00:29:37.000 And he suddenly became the force of all destruction in the known universe.

00:29:43.000 And the point of the thing was, listen...

00:29:46.000 All of this is already chewed up.

00:29:48.000 It's already been devoured.

00:29:50.000 It's already gone.

00:29:52.000 Game over.

00:29:53.000 You're done.

00:29:54.000 No Kurzweil's gonna get you new blood cells.

00:29:56.000 It's gonna keep you alive. 0.91

00:29:59.000 At some point, I will come to you wearing the costume of your death.

00:30:03.000 And that is an inevitability, so just surrender to that and you're going to be a lot less freaked out if you just accept that that's the way it is.

00:30:11.000 Because if your war that you're engaged in right now is the war to live forever, if your war that you're engaged in right now is a war to try to make some lasting change in a universe that's defined by impermanence and change, then you're fighting the wrong war.

00:30:27.000 There's a better war to fight, you know?

00:30:29.000 And it's actually, the way you fight it is by surrendering, not by fighting.

00:30:33.000 By letting go and sinking into the actual hum of the universe, the way it really works.

00:30:39.000 Not the way you wish it worked.

00:30:40.000 Not the way that you were hoping that the universe worked.

00:30:43.000 Where, you know, lions and hyenas rescue little boys like in Ice Age.

00:30:50.000 But the cartoon.

00:30:51.000 But the way it actually works, the way the universe actually works is everything comes into existence.

00:30:57.000 It exists for a little while, and then it dies.

00:31:00.000 And most things come out of explosions.

00:31:02.000 Yeah!

00:31:03.000 Hell yeah! 0.95

00:31:03.000 Don't forget that! 0.95

00:31:04.000 Yeah, most things come out of big fucking blasts! 0.99

00:31:07.000 Including the whole universe itself. 0.99

00:31:08.000 Yes, right.

00:31:09.000 The whole universe itself is predicated upon a violent event.

00:31:12.000 Yeah.

00:31:12.000 It has to have a violent event.

00:31:14.000 Right, that's right.

00:31:14.000 The big bang.

00:31:15.000 It couldn't be the slow expansion of beautiful, life-giving particles throughout the universe.

00:31:22.000 No.

00:31:23.000 Nope. 0.99

00:31:23.000 It's a big fucking bang. 0.99

00:31:25.000 No, it was a big fucking bang. 1.00

00:31:27.000 And it keeps going. 0.99

00:31:28.000 The big bang keeps going.

00:31:31.000 But it's just like this, man. 0.99

00:31:32.000 If you want to dig your heels in and sink your claws into the expanding universe and try to keep that fucking thing from expanding, you're going to get ripped apart. 0.99

00:31:44.000 That's just the way it works. 0.96

00:31:46.000 But if you want to let go and merge into the thing, if you want to allow yourself the fantasy that you're not some individual with a social security number and a name and parents, but allow yourself the fantasy that you're...

00:31:59.000 13.8 billion years old and you're part of this incredible ocean of happening instead of just this one individual.

00:32:06.000 And just let yourself experience that for a second.

00:32:08.000 The glorious knowledge that you are a never-ending, ever-changing flow of matter that's temporarily manifested with the ability to express love into a dimension where things are supposed to be cooling off.

00:32:21.000 Then that's a fun way to spend your time here before you end up getting eaten by a lion or have a heart attack or whatever happens.

00:32:30.000 It's just a backflip.

00:32:31.000 This is like a high dive. 0.98

00:32:33.000 This is like when you see people come off of a high dive and you get like a few seconds to do some cool fucking tricks That's what you get here. 0.97

00:32:40.000 We're like dolphins jumping out of the eternal into time. 0.92

00:32:45.000 And while we shoot up into time, we get a chance to do a couple of backflips, a couple of chirps, and that's our life's work.

00:32:52.000 And then we plunge back into infinity again and do it all over again.

00:32:55.000 What do you think, if any, evolutionary advantages there are to an identity?

00:33:02.000 What about us makes us not just identify ourselves, but define ourselves with a sound and a symbol?

00:33:09.000 Right.

00:33:09.000 We have a series of sounds and symbols.

00:33:11.000 Duncan Trussell.

00:33:12.000 Yeah.

00:33:13.000 And there's all these letters and you arrange them in order.

00:33:15.000 You can even go all caps if you're feeling gangster.

00:33:17.000 Yes.

00:33:17.000 And that's you.

00:33:18.000 That's you.

00:33:19.000 That represents you.

00:33:20.000 You can carry around you with like a little sign.

00:33:23.000 My name is Duncan Trussell.

00:33:25.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:33:26.000 It's so funny.

00:33:26.000 It's weird.

00:33:27.000 And it's at the same time where this animal is becoming ultra-advanced and it's figuring out how to communicate and it's figuring out its position in the world around it and it's also figuring out That this whole infinite world or infinite universe they live in is almost impossible to understand.

00:33:46.000 And as it's figuring this out, it's also figuring out that it needs community and it needs to be in these groups.

00:33:52.000 But somehow or another, some program has been put in place to get you to work harder And try to achieve more by being defined by your name.

00:34:04.000 You're a Wentworth, son, and Wentworths work hard.

00:34:08.000 We built this company from the ground up, your grandfather and I. I worked in the mailroom when I was 14. You know what I'm saying?

00:34:16.000 Oh, fuck yeah. 1.00

00:34:17.000 That's a name. 0.99

00:34:18.000 And, you know, as comedians, you're, you know, this is my Ari Shafir is appearing this week.

00:34:23.000 You know, Brian Redband, Wednesday night, come on down.

00:34:27.000 You know, this is like these symbols.

00:34:29.000 This is Peg Whitman.

00:34:31.000 Oh, hi, Peg.

00:34:32.000 Nice to meet you.

00:34:33.000 Nice to meet you.

00:34:33.000 My name's Mike Hunt.

00:34:34.000 And it's fucking bizarre, right? 0.85

00:34:37.000 It's bizarre, these weird conversations that we have with people where we give our moniker out and our definition. 0.96

00:34:43.000 Yeah.

00:34:43.000 And under your definition, you can list your accomplishments, which is amazing.

00:34:47.000 Well, I have a PhD in anthropology.

00:34:49.000 I'm on the board of the...

00:34:51.000 I graduated from...

00:34:56.000 I see.

00:34:59.000 What do you do for a living?

00:35:00.000 Oh, well, I own a computer graphics company.

00:35:03.000 We do all the animation for many films, like Jurassic Park.

00:35:08.000 And I've done this with my name.

00:35:10.000 And everybody's talking about how much have you contributed to this machine?

00:35:14.000 How much have you contributed?

00:35:15.000 How much are you pulling out of the machine?

00:35:17.000 Are you pulling out shiny things?

00:35:18.000 You must be very valuable.

00:35:20.000 How many shiny things do you have?

00:35:22.000 How large is your domicile?

00:35:23.000 How big is the place where you call home?

00:35:25.000 How much zeros do you have?

00:35:27.000 Have you extracted a lot from the system?

00:35:30.000 How have you figured out how to do this, Mr. Whitmore? 1.00

00:35:33.000 Mr. Whitmore, you bitch. 1.00

00:35:36.000 Well, I've been working in the mailroom since I was 14. That's how I did it. 0.99

00:35:42.000 Oh, yeah.

00:35:43.000 I made good choices.

00:35:44.000 I made a series of good, disciplined decisions in my life, and I've earned where I'm at.

00:35:48.000 That's why I have an island.

00:35:50.000 And that's why Bernie Sanders should be arrested!

00:35:53.000 Bernie Sanders.

00:35:54.000 What are you trying to say, Bernie Sanders? 1.00

00:35:56.000 Goddamn hippies. 1.00

00:35:57.000 It didn't work. 1.00

00:35:59.000 What you're talking about here is really fucking cool, man.

00:36:05.000 What do you identify with, right? 0.89

00:36:08.000 So you're trained to identify with the particular costume that you call your life, and so most people have gotten really entangled and committed to that.

00:36:18.000 Particular game of make-believe.

00:36:20.000 So that's why, you know, most everyone is really engaged in their personality.

00:36:24.000 They don't have to be a Mr. Wentworth or whatever.

00:36:27.000 Whitmore.

00:36:28.000 Forgive me, Mr. Whitmore.

00:36:29.000 A Whitworth?

00:36:30.000 A Whitworth, sir!

00:36:31.000 I forgot.

00:36:32.000 I might have said it different earlier.

00:36:33.000 I forget what his name was.

00:36:36.000 Mr. Imaginary.

00:36:38.000 It is Mr. Imaginary.

00:36:40.000 I mean, that is the...

00:36:43.000 The thing.

00:36:45.000 And this is the Ram Dass quote, we are all God and drag.

00:36:50.000 We're all...

00:36:52.000 That sounds like something Ram Dass would say.

00:36:54.000 How cool is that guy?

00:36:55.000 We're all the universe just dressed playing this incredible game of costume.

00:37:01.000 We're at a costume party.

00:37:02.000 And that's part of this dimension.

00:37:04.000 We're all wearing these funny costumes, especially now. 0.99

00:37:06.000 But fuck, man, if I walk around in this ridiculous getup that I'm in right now in the right place, people are going to come up to me and be like, Father, I'm having a problem in my life. 0.99

00:37:14.000 Yep. 1.00

00:37:14.000 Because they don't know. 1.00

00:37:15.000 And it's just a costume. 0.98

00:37:17.000 It's a ridiculous costume. 0.98

00:37:19.000 Completely meaningless. 0.86

00:37:20.000 And if I wear this to enough places, people will ask me about the drones and the drone program.

00:37:24.000 Or they'll try to buy ecstasy from you.

00:37:25.000 That too.

00:37:26.000 But yeah, for sure, man.

00:37:27.000 It's just a costume.

00:37:29.000 And so aside from these kinds of costumes, the clothes that you wear to identify what particular part of the...

00:37:36.000 Bro, what's up with your busted shoes?

00:37:37.000 Yeah, that. 1.00

00:37:38.000 Oh, fuck you, dude. 1.00

00:37:40.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:37:41.000 Nice pants. 1.00

00:37:42.000 Yeah.

00:37:42.000 Are they on sale?

00:37:43.000 What's going on? 1.00

00:37:43.000 Are you seriously wearing a fucking Equinox hat, dude? 1.00

00:37:46.000 I wear an Equinox hat and get made fun of it a lot. 0.99

00:37:50.000 Do you wear it to hipster places?

00:37:52.000 No, I wear it everywhere because it's so embarrassing.

00:37:56.000 So you wear it on purpose? 1.00

00:37:58.000 I wear it on purpose and I will gladly, gladly stick up for that fucking gym because it is an awesome fucking gym. 1.00

00:38:08.000 Not ashamed! 1.00

00:38:09.000 Not sponsored by them either.

00:38:13.000 George Chen.

00:38:14.000 Shout out to George Chen, my trainer.

00:38:15.000 I love you. 0.93

00:38:18.000 But anyway, the point is, if you look underneath that layer, that's where shit gets interesting, because you're trying to go from the entanglement with your personality to recognizing that you're observing yourself in the same way you observe a pen. 0.98

00:38:38.000 If you look at a pen, you're like, oh wow, look, here's a pen. 0.98

00:38:41.000 I can see it.

00:38:42.000 I can feel it.

00:38:43.000 I know what it is. 0.99

00:38:44.000 In the same way, when you think, God, I feel like shit today... 1.00

00:38:47.000 You're observing feeling like shit. 1.00

00:38:49.000 You don't feel like shit any more than you're the pen. 1.00

00:38:52.000 You're just experiencing it within your field of awareness is that thing that you call feeling like shit or feeling happy or feeling sad or feeling good. 0.99

00:39:01.000 You're aware of it. 0.98

00:39:02.000 So now you've zoomed back a step, right?

00:39:04.000 And you've become the observer, the Atman.

00:39:08.000 And that's what you truly are.

00:39:09.000 And that is known as the thing that you can't look at.

00:39:11.000 That's the thing that can't See itself.

00:39:15.000 It only gazes out.

00:39:17.000 It's also known as the watcher or the witness.

00:39:20.000 But that's what, you know, for me, if I take the right quantity of LSD and allow myself some time alone, then I can merge into that state.

00:39:31.000 And that's the unified merging into everythingness that people often report on a psychedelic experience, is you pop backwards into instead of being the object Rather, the subject and the object merge together.

00:39:46.000 So there's no more that which is observed, but only an everythingness, you know?

00:39:52.000 And that's what our personalities keep us from experiencing.

00:39:55.000 In Buddhism, a lot of people claim that we cling to our personalities in the same way a person would cling to a pull Over a floor covered in razor blades because the experience of having a self or an identity for a lot of people is preferable to the experience of merging into everything because merging into everything is death and a lot of people don't want to die.

00:40:22.000 So it's really curious though, you know, there's a lot of like exercises designed to move you out of that attachment to your bodily identification.

00:40:30.000 Because it's not just what you're wearing, it's your body.

00:40:32.000 People think they're their body.

00:40:34.000 That's one of the first things you learn is you're not your body.

00:40:36.000 You just think that's what you are.

00:40:39.000 You're not your body any more than you're a pen. 0.76

00:40:41.000 You're not your body any more than you're an airplane.

00:40:45.000 Or you're not your body any more than you're your car.

00:40:47.000 It's just a vehicle within which you're currently experiencing the universe.

00:40:51.000 It's really trippy, man. 0.99

00:40:53.000 It's really fucking trippy. 0.98

00:40:56.000 Being a human being and knowing that you only have a certain amount of time here Is the ultimate mindfuck because you're also supposed to be doing things But at the end of doing all those things if your body just stops working Like what was really the point of this? 0.99

00:41:11.000 Like what was the point of this right?

00:41:13.000 Is it to leave behind a lot of paperwork?

00:41:16.000 What's the point of this?

00:41:17.000 What is that what did you know?

00:41:19.000 Did you did you spread a lot of love?

00:41:22.000 Like if you looked at people and you were trying I mean if you tried to understand the All the major religions, all the ideologies that human beings subscribe to, the varying ones all over the world.

00:41:38.000 You looked at some key components, and there's key components that are sort of undeniable, and the good and evil are in every one of them.

00:41:46.000 There's always good things to do and bad things to do.

00:41:48.000 There's good and evil.

00:41:49.000 But if you looked at human beings completely objectively, and you looked at things like war, if you could If you could look at the entire human race and then focus in on something like Afghanistan and then have, like, a brain map that would show, like, all the thoughts involved of all the people all over the world that contributed to this one event happening where explosions are going off and robots are flying through the sky and shooting rockets into villages indiscriminately at cell phones.

00:42:16.000 Like, we all know that this really happened. 0.96

00:42:17.000 They used GPS coordinates for cell phones and rockets fired off of fucking drones into buildings to get bad guys. 0.99

00:42:24.000 Amazing. 0.99

00:42:24.000 Like, whoa! 0.99

00:42:25.000 If you could look at that, you would say, oh, that's the devil.

00:42:28.000 The devil's talked these people into doing this. 1.00

00:42:31.000 Is the devil a guy with pitchfork and a fucking tail that has a little spade at the end of it? 1.00

00:42:38.000 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00

00:42:40.000 What the devil is, is racism.

00:42:42.000 What the devil is is xenophobia.

00:42:44.000 What the devil is is any sort of hate of someone just because they're different or they grew up different than you.

00:42:50.000 It's the devil's fear, the devil's insecurity, the devil's greed, the devil's oil.

00:42:54.000 The devil wants nuclear proliferation.

00:42:56.000 The devil wants to get rid of environmental protection.

00:43:01.000 The devil is human behavior at its worst.

00:43:04.000 And it figures out how to get through there. 1.00

00:43:06.000 Well, these fucking people are too lazy. 1.00

00:43:07.000 See Donald Trump talking about Mexicans? 1.00

00:43:09.000 No.

00:43:10.000 They kicked him off of NBC. They banned him from NBC. What did he say?

00:43:13.000 Because he's got a fucking show on NBC. He's on this fucking... 1.00

00:43:15.000 The Apprentice is a big show, right? 1.00

00:43:19.000 What did he say about Mexicans? 0.99

00:43:20.000 He was talking about their rapists. 0.97

00:43:22.000 He was talking about protecting the border. 1.00

00:43:24.000 He said a bunch of ridiculous shit. 1.00

00:43:26.000 Wow. 1.00

00:43:26.000 But he was talking about how some of the people that come across the border from Mexico are rapists. 1.00

00:43:30.000 And everybody's like, Jesus, man. 1.00

00:43:31.000 I mean, he said a bunch of really crazy shit. 1.00

00:43:34.000 Where did he say it? 1.00

00:43:35.000 He gave a press conference.

00:43:37.000 You haven't heard it?

00:43:38.000 No.

00:43:39.000 Jamie, play the highlight.

00:43:41.000 Just the highlight of it.

00:43:42.000 The one that we were looking at earlier.

00:43:43.000 That's so funny.

00:43:45.000 Did he just...

00:43:46.000 Oh, you weren't looking at it with me.

00:43:47.000 I was looking at it with the guys from the video game this morning.

00:43:49.000 The highlight of Donald Trump's speeches. 1.00

00:43:53.000 They took like a, they clipped, you know, they edited over and over again like the most ridiculous shit that he said. 0.99

00:43:58.000 So, Mr. Trump, if we're taking you out of context, I apologize in advance. 0.98

00:44:02.000 I did not edit this, nor do I endorse this.

00:44:04.000 If you wanted to, could you throw a press conference?

00:44:07.000 I'm sure you could throw a press conference as well, Duncan Trussell. 0.99

00:44:10.000 That is the most narcissistic, hilarious thing to throw a fucking press conference? 0.99

00:44:15.000 Like you have something that important to announce? 0.99

00:44:17.000 Well, George Clooney threw a press conference when Princess Di died.

00:44:20.000 Really?

00:44:21.000 Yeah, like to stop the paparazzi from following through.

00:44:23.000 He had a press conference.

00:44:24.000 Well, that's a good reason for one.

00:44:25.000 That's a good reason, right?

00:44:26.000 Yeah.

00:44:27.000 Oh, God.

00:44:27.000 For a sinking moment, I thought it was just going to, like you were going to say at the press conference, he gave a very sentimental thing about how he just loved Princess Diana.

00:44:35.000 Oh, my God.

00:44:36.000 If he did, could you imagine?

00:44:37.000 No, he was trying to raise awareness for these paparazzi guys.

00:44:42.000 Apparently, they would just follow her like madness.

00:44:44.000 It was crazy.

00:44:44.000 Yeah.

00:44:44.000 They would just follow her everywhere, and they were speeding, and they were dangerous.

00:44:49.000 But the point being, the idea of love, that exists too.

00:44:55.000 You could look down and you could find the best behavior.

00:44:59.000 You could find a father and son hugging and laughing and smiling together in just pure joy.

00:45:06.000 You could see a mother and daughter kissing, holding hands, cuddling.

00:45:11.000 Insane, pure love.

00:45:13.000 You could see that too.

00:45:14.000 And you could say, well, there's God.

00:45:16.000 Yes, you could say that.

00:45:18.000 There's God.

00:45:18.000 There's the best thing we can be.

00:45:20.000 The feeling of being in love, the feeling of loving children, the feeling of being completely fulfilled and happy in brief bursts of time.

00:45:30.000 Nobody has it all the time.

00:45:31.000 But you have it if you're in love with someone.

00:45:33.000 Everybody gets that.

00:45:34.000 It doesn't matter if you're rich.

00:45:35.000 It doesn't matter if you're successful.

00:45:37.000 If you don't have that one moment where you really enjoy being with someone who really enjoys being with you and you have this rush of love, whether it's your family, whether it's your mom, seeing your mother.

00:45:47.000 Even your dog.

00:45:48.000 Yeah, man.

00:45:49.000 No, not your dog.

00:45:50.000 I think so, man.

00:45:51.000 It's not as strong.

00:45:52.000 You know what?

00:45:53.000 I disagree.

00:45:54.000 I fundamentally disagree with you on that point.

00:45:57.000 I don't think that there's any hierarchy when it comes to love.

00:46:00.000 And I think a dog is like having a love heater in your house.

00:46:05.000 Well, I definitely love dogs, dude.

00:46:06.000 Don't get me wrong.

00:46:07.000 I know.

00:46:08.000 But the difference between the love that you have for a dog and the love that you would have for your daughter is monumental.

00:46:12.000 It's so hard to grasp.

00:46:14.000 And I don't like to pull that card.

00:46:16.000 Pull the card!

00:46:17.000 You don't know until it happens to you, man.

00:46:19.000 You don't know.

00:46:19.000 Nobody's putting their daughters to sleep.

00:46:21.000 It's just a little human being that you're raising and you communicate with.

00:46:25.000 You have this very insane connection with them.

00:46:28.000 And it gives you this weird empathy for all the rest of the people in the world because all of a sudden they start to look like children.

00:46:37.000 Everyone, to me, is a child that became an adult.

00:46:41.000 Whereas they used to just be adults.

00:46:43.000 They used to exist in a static state. 1.00

00:46:44.000 You would meet this 60-year-old douchebag and you'd go, well, this guy's a fucking piece of shit. 1.00

00:46:49.000 That's just who he is. 1.00

00:46:50.000 Well, yeah, but how did he become this 60-year-old piece of shit? 1.00

00:46:53.000 This 60-year-old piece of shit was a six-day-old baby at one point. 1.00

00:46:57.000 There was a series of events. 1.00

00:46:59.000 There's shit genetics. 1.00

00:47:00.000 There's poor upbringing. 1.00

00:47:01.000 There's bad environment. 1.00

00:47:02.000 There's fill-in-the-blanks that led to This guy being an asshole in front of you, 60 years old. 1.00

00:47:07.000 Yes. 1.00

00:47:08.000 But you're not thinking of that when you meet him. 1.00

00:47:10.000 You're just thinking, well, here's an asshole. 1.00

00:47:12.000 But almost every asshole, almost every person that you run into is a victim of a series of events. 1.00

00:47:19.000 That have brought them to this point. 1.00

00:47:21.000 That's right.

00:47:21.000 And for some people, it's just...

00:47:22.000 It's undealable.

00:47:24.000 They've lost so many times.

00:47:25.000 Like, if you play video games, okay?

00:47:27.000 Say if you and I played video games.

00:47:29.000 Yeah.

00:47:29.000 I don't play StarCraft.

00:47:30.000 If I play StarCraft with you, I'd probably get my fucking ass beat over and over and over and over again so bad... 1.00

00:47:35.000 You would. 1.00

00:47:35.000 I would. 1.00

00:47:36.000 I'm sure I would.

00:47:36.000 And I would get...

00:47:37.000 So it would be frustrating. 1.00

00:47:38.000 It'd be like, fuck, dude. 0.99

00:47:39.000 I don't want to do this anymore. 1.00

00:47:40.000 Well, some people, that's life.

00:47:43.000 Some people, life is giving them the real-life, everyday beating that you don't even like in a video game.

00:47:50.000 Video games are fun, you know?

00:47:51.000 But if you're playing a video game, you're just getting someone just gunning you down.

00:47:56.000 It's not fun.

00:47:56.000 It's not fun because you don't get any of the joy.

00:47:58.000 You get all the losing. 0.99

00:48:00.000 Well, in life, some people, that's their fucking shitty hand that they're dealt. 0.99

00:48:05.000 And before you know it, they're 13. And now they're in high school, and they're just beaten down by all the bullshit they've experienced their whole life. 1.00

00:48:13.000 And then they get to high school, and now there's bullies. 0.99

00:48:15.000 Now there's girls. 1.00

00:48:16.000 And now girls fucking hate them. 1.00

00:48:18.000 Oh, great. 1.00

00:48:18.000 It gets even worse. 1.00

00:48:19.000 Oh, now I have a boner that nobody wants to deal with. 0.85

00:48:22.000 And you just...

00:48:23.000 That's the game.

00:48:24.000 This is the game of life. 0.82

00:48:26.000 And sometimes people come in and they just spawn in a shitty area with a real weak gun. 1.00

00:48:31.000 And they're like, fuck! 1.00

00:48:32.000 And they have to run from the fucking respawn spot to find a better gun and put it all together. 1.00

00:48:38.000 And some of them die along the way. 0.99

00:48:40.000 Right.

00:48:40.000 That's just the reality.

00:48:42.000 That's true.

00:48:44.000 A lot of people have a very rough man and a lot of people, you know, a lot of people listening to this are so fucking hard on themselves and they don't apply the exact same thing that you're saying to apply to other people to their own lives. 0.87

00:48:56.000 Like so many people feel so guilty, so like they wake up in the morning and they think about some dumb fucking thing they did whenever they did it for whatever dumb reason and they feel all this guilt and they walk around like a dog with a droopy tail because they don't think they deserve love. 0.53

00:49:13.000 And so I think that to get to the place you're talking about, which is a fucking awesome place, empathy for all human beings, loving everyone to the best of your ability, you gotta start with the person closest to you, right? 0.88

00:49:27.000 And that's your you!

00:49:28.000 That's your life!

00:49:30.000 Like, you have to figure out a way to sit down, take an appraisal of your life, Don't skip anything.

00:49:36.000 Don't ignore anything. 1.00

00:49:37.000 Look at the whole way that you're playing the entire game and understand that all the things that you've done that are stupid... 1.00

00:49:44.000 What the fuck did you expect yourself to do? 0.99

00:49:49.000 Like, you're temporarily existing in a dimension that is actively destroying you in every single moment. 0.99

00:49:55.000 You're not going to be perfect.

00:49:57.000 Give yourself a break.

00:49:58.000 So you start with that, and then once you start You know, everyone's got a thing in them, right?

00:50:04.000 Everybody has a thing inside of them that they don't like about themselves.

00:50:08.000 Maybe not you, or maybe that thing's been reduced to some degree, but a lot of people, they think they're too fat.

00:50:14.000 They think they're too thin.

00:50:15.000 They think that their tattoo sucks, or they regret the way that they treated their parents, or they feel like they're not far enough ahead in their career. 1.00

00:50:23.000 Whatever the fucking thing it is, man. 0.99

00:50:24.000 Everybody has this aspect of themselves that they're really unhappy with. 1.00

00:50:28.000 So, if you... 0.99

00:50:30.000 If you get really honest about the parts of yourself you're unhappy about, then you will be excited to learn That you've been being attacked by those aspects of yourself in the form of everyone you think's an asshole. 0.97

00:50:46.000 So it's like you're projecting those parts of yourself out onto the world. 1.00

00:50:49.000 So all the people where you're like, man, that guy's a fucking douchebag. 1.00

00:50:52.000 Why would he ever fucking act like that? 1.00

00:50:54.000 Can you believe that guy did that fucking shit? 1.00

00:50:56.000 If you stop and think really hard about yourself, you'll discover that you are guilty of those very same crimes, generally. 1.00

00:51:04.000 And if you weren't, you wouldn't even notice it.

00:51:06.000 You just are seeing parts of yourself you can't quite address.

00:51:09.000 So the... 0.99

00:51:10.000 The optimistic thing about this concept of loving everyone, or getting to the place of loving everyone, is that if you can figure out how to love yourself, it's very similar to wiping dog shit off your shoe. 1.00

00:51:22.000 Because if you have dog shit on your shoe, everywhere you go smells like shit. 1.00

00:51:26.000 And if you allow yourself the delusion that the reason everywhere smells like shit is because dog shit must be on every single surface in this entire planet, then You're gonna be in hell. 1.00

00:51:38.000 But what a glorious moment when you look at your shoe and you're like, oh, just shit on my shoe. 1.00

00:51:42.000 The entire planet isn't covered with shit, it's actually just shit on my shoe. 1.00

00:51:46.000 And like in the same way, once you recognize that there's a little piece of karmic dog shit that's gotten stuck inside of your life, and instead of hating that piece of dog shit by torturing the people around you who manifest the same propensity you dislike in yourself, 0.99

00:52:03.000 you forgive that part of yourself And actively learn to love it, or at least just understand that it's there because it was trying to protect you when you were a kid and it manifested as a callus to keep you from whoever was fucking with you and that's why you don't like it. 0.99

00:52:18.000 It'll shift a little bit, man, and you will notice a significant reduction in that swarms of assholes that were previously surrounding you. 0.97

00:52:26.000 It's a fascinating thing. 0.98

00:52:28.000 Suddenly people just stop bugging you as much.

00:52:30.000 And that's because you've gotten into yourself and you've said, I love you, you You did the best you could do.

00:52:36.000 You didn't know.

00:52:37.000 You're half asleep. 1.00

00:52:38.000 You're a fucking drunk. 1.00

00:52:40.000 So do you think you attract assholes when you have this feeling? 1.00

00:52:45.000 Or do you think that if you allow yourself forgiveness That you will relax and you will feel different with how you interact with people and then people will have a less asshole-ish reaction to you? 0.99

00:52:59.000 Like is it both? 0.67

00:53:00.000 I love to believe what that that you just said.

00:53:03.000 I love to think that and you know, I'm sorry all you skeptics out there, man.

00:53:06.000 Please correct me on this.

00:53:07.000 I know I'm wrong.

00:53:08.000 Someone's already corrected me on this, but I love the observer effect concept that the tool actually seems to be having an effect on the experiment and that Well, that's been explained to me, if I can, by my friend J.D., who's an actual physicist. 0.96

00:53:22.000 Damn it, here it goes.

00:53:23.000 And what he said... 0.99

00:53:24.000 Bye-bye, the secret.

00:53:25.000 He said that it's really a disingenuous comparison, because when you're measuring something, and you're saying, well, it's different, and then you measure it.

00:53:35.000 Well, you're involving some sort of form of measurement, some sort of tool.

00:53:39.000 Right.

00:53:39.000 It's interacting with that, and it's changing what it is.

00:53:43.000 It's like this idea that it's the observer, and you have some sort of a psychic...

00:53:47.000 It's disingenuous because you're observing it.

00:53:50.000 And in the process of observing, the way he's describing it to me, and I'm sure I'm butchering it.

00:53:55.000 I wish I could call him right now.

00:53:56.000 But just observing it itself, like you're measuring it.

00:54:00.000 In the process of measuring it, you're changing.

00:54:03.000 You're interacting with it.

00:54:03.000 At the deepest level, you've got to change it.

00:54:05.000 Somehow you're interacting with it.

00:54:07.000 Right.

00:54:07.000 Otherwise you couldn't be measuring it.

00:54:09.000 Well, okay.

00:54:09.000 Does that make sense?

00:54:10.000 Yes.

00:54:11.000 That's how he described it to me.

00:54:12.000 Another way to put it would be human beings...

00:54:16.000 An energy form, right?

00:54:17.000 They're just an energy form.

00:54:19.000 And if you react with energy in varying ways, it's going to change the way that it interacts with you.

00:54:25.000 That's just how it works.

00:54:26.000 So, if you're on ecstasy, right?

00:54:30.000 Let's say you've taken a nice dose of MDMA. And you go out into the world, just run your errands on ecstasy.

00:54:36.000 Don't drive, get an Uber, whatever.

00:54:38.000 So now you're feeling so great, affable, empathetic, and you're smiling.

00:54:42.000 And you might notice that as you go through the world, people are going to be smiling back at you because you're putting out such a good vibe that people are going to be responding to that vibe.

00:54:51.000 Maybe they won't know why.

00:54:53.000 It's like, I think we've talked about this in your podcast before, but... 0.95

00:54:57.000 I've actually heard this, and I'm going to butcher this quote, and I don't know who fucking said it, but something along the lines of the earth is like a dog. 0.83

00:55:05.000 And if you're afraid of the universe, it'll snarl and attack. 0.94

00:55:10.000 But if you love the universe, it'll roll over on its back and show you its belly.

00:55:14.000 And in the same way, I think that if you go into the world with this love in your heart, Then, for whatever reason, people sense that.

00:55:22.000 Maybe it's a pheromone you're releasing.

00:55:23.000 Maybe it's the particular affect that you have.

00:55:27.000 Who knows?

00:55:28.000 Affectation.

00:55:29.000 But you're going to change the world around you.

00:55:32.000 I think that whatever the reason for that is, I'm sure you could come up with it depending on what your particular field...

00:55:40.000 Or your particular interest is.

00:55:42.000 You can, you know, go down to the level of the secret and say that the fact that you are loving everything is transforming everything into love.

00:55:49.000 Or you could go to a sociological perspective, which is that you just figured out a way to manipulate your species by putting out a kind of happy pheromone that makes people trust you and less likely to attack because they're not on guard.

00:56:03.000 You get to pick which way you want to look at it, man, but there's no question about it.

00:56:07.000 That totally makes sense in some way.

00:56:09.000 It totally makes sense in some way that the actual pheromone or the actual vibe, whatever you want to call it, however you're taking it in, the perception that you get about people, the friendlier and the kinder and the nicer you put out, the more you're going to run into people that respect and respond to you that way.

00:56:26.000 Think about the way you respond to some people.

00:56:29.000 You have some people in your life You know, that you, any one person pick them, that you love to see.

00:56:34.000 When you see them, you have this big, great, because you know that he's always going to be really cool with you.

00:56:39.000 You're always going to be really cool with him.

00:56:40.000 When you meet each other, it's all gravy.

00:56:42.000 Right.

00:56:42.000 It's all like super, super powerful happiness.

00:56:45.000 Now, when you know that, like if you're with that person, if you're with a group of people that are really, really close friends like that, you have this like no fear, great feeling bond going on.

00:56:56.000 Right.

00:56:56.000 Right?

00:56:56.000 But you don't have that with people that are strangers.

00:56:58.000 You don't have that with the rest of the universe.

00:57:00.000 But it is possible. 0.97

00:57:01.000 So it is possible to achieve with a small group of people if you come to an understanding and you're both completely cool about shit. 0.98

00:57:07.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:57:08.000 If you're both completely honest about shit and you both go through this life like this is the attitude. 0.98

00:57:13.000 It's not all about me. 0.99

00:57:14.000 It's all about all of us.

00:57:15.000 It's all about everybody.

00:57:17.000 Right.

00:57:17.000 It's all about doing the most positive that you can and spreading the most good vibes that you can and putting out the most fun that you possibly can.

00:57:24.000 Right.

00:57:24.000 Well, if you can possibly do that, we're not talking about putting a robot on Mars.

00:57:28.000 Like, this is all shit that I could figure out. 1.00

00:57:30.000 This is all shit that you can figure out. 1.00

00:57:31.000 I mean, this is stuff that wouldn't be that hard if you're not in jail, and you're not a murderer, and you're not a rapist, you're not like a total, complete piece of shit. 1.00

00:57:40.000 It would not be that hard to turn your life around and get yourself to a point where you're not shitty to people. 0.99

00:57:47.000 That's right.

00:57:47.000 That's not hard to imagine that people, even people that have been involved with petty crime or forgery or whatever, Whatever the fuck it is, if they just stopped doing all that and started treating all the people around them as if it was them living another life.

00:58:02.000 That's not that hard to imagine. 0.97

00:58:04.000 It's only hard to imagine if everyone's clawing and scratching and trying to make it to where end dealing with the effects of a shitty childhood, which is goddamn almost everything.

00:58:17.000 For most people, it's the number one trip-up, mindfuck, Programming gone badly from the beginning, and it's so hard to erase the hard drive, reformat the disks, and do it correctly. 0.98

00:58:29.000 So fucking hard. 0.97

00:58:31.000 Dude, this is why we have therapy, right? 0.99

00:58:37.000 This is why people go to therapy, because those guys are really good at getting you to swim down into your childhood and find the place where you got the...

00:58:46.000 Generally, you're going to get...

00:58:50.000 One of two teachings.

00:58:52.000 You're gonna get a few different teachings from growing up, but one of the teachings a lot of people get Is that there's not enough milk in the nipple.

00:59:00.000 They get some version of that, which is like, the food's gonna run out, the love's gonna run out, the, you know, this is not a safe environment.

00:59:07.000 Your mom and I are working really hard, but we don't have enough money, and we can't make ends meet, and sometimes we're not gonna have enough, and I can't afford to get you the stuff the other kids get, and I'll tell you why.

00:59:17.000 Because my boss, Mr. What was the name you gave that guy?

00:59:20.000 Mr. Whitmore. 1.00

00:59:21.000 My boss, Mr. Whitmore, is a fucking asshole. 1.00

00:59:24.000 What? 1.00

00:59:24.000 Yeah, Whitmore, again, Whitmore's giving me too many hours and he's not giving me a fucking raise, and so life sucks. 1.00

00:59:30.000 Do you understand it? 1.00

00:59:31.000 Shut up and look at me, you little shit! 1.00

00:59:33.000 Have you been smoking fucking weed? 1.00

00:59:35.000 Do you not understand how dangerous this world is? 1.00

00:59:38.000 A lot of people get that, and they come out of their family life like somebody who just got flown in from fucking Afghanistan. 0.99

00:59:45.000 They have a kind of PTSD. They don't understand that the universe is ambivalent. 0.98

00:59:53.000 It's not malicious.

00:59:54.000 It's ambivalent.

00:59:55.000 At the best, it's ambivalent. 1.00

00:59:58.000 And if the universe has some agenda, well, fuck. 1.00

01:00:04.000 Let's just give up. 1.00

01:00:05.000 There's no free will.

01:00:05.000 But if the universe is just a kind of chamber within which we can experiment with manifesting whatever our goals happen to be, then it's not that the universe is out to get you, no matter where you're at.

01:00:17.000 In fact, your conceptualization of the universe as a thing out to get you is Only reaffirming that awful version of the universe that got crystallized in your head way back when.

01:00:30.000 And now you're always trying to be right.

01:00:32.000 That's another thing people in rough families, they're always trying to be right. 0.94

01:00:37.000 They want to be fucking right about everything, you know? 0.74

01:00:39.000 They want to assert their will and be right, because they're at war. 0.93

01:00:43.000 Because they feel like if they're not right, then they're vulnerable. 0.90

01:00:46.000 So you so the next time here's a fun fucking experiment I know you already do this man, but I've been trying playing around with it the next time someone does something wrong to you Really wrong like someone does something wrong to you the thing that you're always fighting back against and always like being right like when you the next time you've been Wronged for real where you could easily say to the person This is fucked up what you did to me and here's why Let them be right. 0.84

01:01:14.000 Just play around with losing. 0.94

01:01:16.000 Even though you know that you're right, play around with not being right.

01:01:20.000 Surrender.

01:01:21.000 Watch what happens.

01:01:22.000 Just love them.

01:01:23.000 Love them and be wrong.

01:01:24.000 Let them think they're right.

01:01:26.000 Love them.

01:01:26.000 Let them work through whatever it is they're working through.

01:01:28.000 Watch what happens.

01:01:30.000 It's the weirdest, weirdest thing, man.

01:01:32.000 Because it's like all of a sudden, so many people are vengeance-based, you know?

01:01:36.000 I'm going to get you. 1.00

01:01:37.000 Fuck with me. 1.00

01:01:38.000 I'm gonna get you. 1.00

01:01:38.000 I'm gonna get you, motherfucker. 1.00

01:01:40.000 I'm gonna get you one. 1.00

01:01:40.000 I'm gonna get you. 1.00

01:01:41.000 You did it.

01:01:41.000 Oh, I got you.

01:01:43.000 Revenge.

01:01:44.000 I got you good.

01:01:45.000 Stop taking revenge.

01:01:47.000 The next time you get a chance, be merciful, even though the person deserves it.

01:01:51.000 Just be merciful.

01:01:52.000 It's a really fun experiment.

01:01:54.000 It's really fun.

01:01:55.000 And it's like the weight that gets lifted off of you in that moment.

01:01:59.000 I stopped drinking recently and I was drinking too much, man.

01:02:04.000 I was drinking like every night a couple of beers and I was like...

01:02:07.000 Really?

01:02:07.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:08.000 Did it creep up on you?

01:02:10.000 Yeah, it creeped up.

01:02:11.000 And I realized like, you know, I started training with Justin and...

01:02:16.000 Things creep up on you though.

01:02:18.000 Yeah, they creep up.

01:02:19.000 You've had a couple things creep up on you, right?

01:02:21.000 Well, that's, you know, alcohol, like, creeped.

01:02:24.000 And all of a sudden, I was drinking every night, and I was kind of getting used to the idea of waking up with a hangover, and, like, it was bad.

01:02:31.000 But you told me, like, you can't have certain pills around.

01:02:34.000 No.

01:02:34.000 Or you'll just keep eating them, right?

01:02:35.000 Yeah, that's my problem.

01:02:37.000 That's a that's actually a problem and it's a blessing because like if I get addicted to something healthy I get really addicted to it.

01:02:42.000 So the problem is it's easier to get addicted to things that aren't healthy for you.

01:02:46.000 So like yeah, man, I realized like, you know, I wasn't like Charles Bukowski.

01:02:51.000 I wasn't even drinking like vodka.

01:02:53.000 I was like it was just a very subtle thing I was doing where every night I'd have two beers Maybe three beers sometimes.

01:03:00.000 It wasn't like I was getting hammered, but every night I was putting alcohol into my bloodstream with great frequency, right?

01:03:06.000 And so, you know, I've been thinking a lot about the concept of the human life as being a kind of alchemical experiment.

01:03:17.000 Like, your body is like a beaker in everything that you eat and everything that you witness and everything that you hear.

01:03:28.000 We're putting into this mix.

01:03:30.000 And the mix that you're creating is, you know, it depends on what you want to create, but what you definitely don't want to create in that mix is sadness, horror, depression, anger, bitterness, loneliness.

01:03:42.000 For me, I'd like that mix to be health, happiness, amplification of my ability to love, forgiveness, all that kind of stuff.

01:03:50.000 So from that POV, I was noticing that when I was drinking, My ability, my ego is flaring up a little bit.

01:03:59.000 I found myself just kind of in a, if I continued that path, you know, if I kept drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking, I could just see where it would take me.

01:04:13.000 And I don't want to go there.

01:04:14.000 So anyway, I stopped drinking and started doing this kind of like observation of the way I feel now that I'm not drinking, right?

01:04:21.000 And one thing I've noticed is that when I go out to a club or a bar or wherever there's alcohol and I Don't drink.

01:04:30.000 About like 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock, my body feels so good.

01:04:35.000 Like all of a sudden my body's like, wait, why do we feel so good? 0.99

01:04:37.000 What the fuck is going on, man? 0.98

01:04:39.000 I feel really good. 0.99

01:04:41.000 And I'll think that, like, why do I feel so good?

01:04:43.000 It's like, oh! 1.00

01:04:44.000 You don't have two beers in your fucking system. 1.00

01:04:46.000 Your blood sugar's not thrown off. 1.00

01:04:47.000 You don't have, like, this, like, flammable liquid coursing through your body that's considered to be one of the most dangerous drugs that currently exists on the planet that we're on.

01:04:56.000 And I feel awesome. 0.98

01:04:57.000 In the morning, oh, you wake up, I'm like, god damn, man, what a great night's sleep. 0.97

01:05:01.000 Weird! 1.00

01:05:02.000 You don't have a flammable fucking liquid in your stomach being, you know what I mean? 1.00

01:05:06.000 Like, whoa, who would think? 1.00

01:05:07.000 Oh, wow, not to be disgusting, but shit, man, my fucking shit, man, has gotten healthier. 1.00

01:05:13.000 And then you're like, everything's better. 1.00

01:05:15.000 Oh, wow, weird.

01:05:17.000 What a shocker, huh? 1.00

01:05:18.000 That fucking fermented wheat juice you've been dumping into your fucking mouth for the last year, five times a week, was fucking up your body, dum-dum. 1.00

01:05:30.000 And so... 1.00

01:05:35.000 Fermented wheat juice, that's really what it is!

01:05:37.000 Yeah! 0.96

01:05:37.000 So, it's really cool, because not only do you get to do that, but you get to watch what happens to the, you know, imbibers of the fermented wheat juices that the hours of the night tick on, and you watch these people, you know, gradually transform from, like, really fun people into the goddamn Walking Dead. 0.96

01:05:54.000 Like, you see this very slow, weird tumble into some version of ego, you know?

01:06:01.000 So, It's a really fun thing to do all these things as an experiment.

01:06:06.000 You don't have to get all heavy about it.

01:06:08.000 Just like, I'm going to do an experiment.

01:06:09.000 I'm going to watch what I like when I drink.

01:06:11.000 I'm going to watch what I like when I don't drink.

01:06:13.000 I'm going to pick which one I like better.

01:06:15.000 And right now, not drinking Dunkin', I like a fuckload better than drinking Dunkin'.

01:06:20.000 So much more fun! 0.87

01:06:23.000 To wrap this thing up, forgive my rant, what I noticed is that I have an addiction to being right.

01:06:30.000 That I have an addiction to getting revenge. 0.98

01:06:32.000 That I have an addiction to making sure that I come out on top of whatever the fucking thing is. 0.96

01:06:39.000 Not in an extreme way, but if I feel like I've been wrong, I'm gonna let you know, man. 0.96

01:06:44.000 I'm gonna let you know, right?

01:06:45.000 So, if instead of doing that, I stop that game, I've stopped that game, and whenever I stop that game, It's exactly like when I'm not drinking, like where there normally is a fight, where there's normally some bit of awkwardness or uncomfortableness or just a general diminishing experience of the universe.

01:07:04.000 There's just, oh wow, I don't have to punish you.

01:07:07.000 I don't have to get you back.

01:07:09.000 I don't have to get revenge.

01:07:10.000 I don't have to say anything.

01:07:11.000 I can just sit here and love you and this moment will pass and everything continues to be cool.

01:07:16.000 The universe doesn't fall apart.

01:07:18.000 My belly doesn't get ripped open by the claws of my enemy.

01:07:23.000 I don't have to get revenge.

01:07:25.000 I don't have to become like the beast of the field and tear everything apart. 0.95

01:07:29.000 I can actually Just love things, and in general, loving them is going to do a hell of a lot more for transforming them into something kinder than me telling them they suck.

01:07:41.000 I mean, there's definitely exceptions to this rule, but for the most part, most exchanges that people have with each other Are exchanges.

01:07:51.000 It's two people giving out two different personalities, exchanging expression.

01:07:56.000 The way they talk to each other is dependent upon the way the other person reacts.

01:08:00.000 And it's the volatile combinations are oftentimes more than one person's fault.

01:08:07.000 So it's like a lot of people have to be on board with this for it to really work.

01:08:11.000 But it's absolutely possible that it can work.

01:08:15.000 The idea that we're supposed to be constantly in conflict with each other. 0.99

01:08:18.000 Like, I can't tell you how many people that I know that are in relationships that accept yelling and throwing shit at each other. 0.99

01:08:25.000 You know, can you imagine if you had a buddy and he just yelled at you all the time and threw shit at you? 1.00

01:08:29.000 You'd be like, dude, what the fuck, man? 1.00

01:08:32.000 You gotta stop yelling at me and throwing shit at me and putting your fist up. 1.00

01:08:35.000 You're gonna hit me. 1.00

01:08:36.000 Like, I don't want to be around you.

01:08:37.000 I don't do that to you.

01:08:38.000 Like, this is crazy.

01:08:41.000 It's...

01:08:42.000 There's got to be some sort of a fundamental change in how people look at each other.

01:08:48.000 And until that happens, we're still going to get tricked by being proud of being from a certain city or being proud of being from a certain state and then in competition with the other states and in competition with the other cities and the other countries. 0.99

01:09:02.000 They could suck it because fucking Toby Keith said USA's number one! 0.99

01:09:07.000 You know, all that nonsense. 1.00

01:09:08.000 Flag wavers.

01:09:09.000 All of it.

01:09:12.000 It's just people, man.

01:09:14.000 I'm not necessarily on a team with you.

01:09:16.000 We're all trapped in this one continent together, and we should be cool with each other, but we should be on team world. 1.00

01:09:22.000 You know, is America the shit? 1.00

01:09:24.000 Of course it is. 1.00

01:09:25.000 It's a great place. 1.00

01:09:26.000 Anybody who says America is not an amazing spot for a lot of different shit is out of their mind. 1.00

01:09:31.000 You have to be a hater. 0.99

01:09:32.000 You have to be a hater to not look at the insane amount of accomplishments that have come out of this spot that have nothing to do with you or I. Yeah.

01:09:38.000 This has nothing to do with us.

01:09:39.000 Just completely objectively, we didn't even exist.

01:09:42.000 We were just a computer analyzing human life on this planet. 1.00

01:09:46.000 You would have to say the United States is the shit, son. 1.00

01:09:48.000 Because if you weren't, you'd be lying. 1.00

01:09:50.000 Okay?

01:09:50.000 But the idea that somehow or another the United States is important and that Africa isn't, or Africa is important and Antarctica isn't, and this is important, but that isn't.

01:09:58.000 This is more important than that.

01:09:59.000 And these people have our land.

01:10:00.000 They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:10:02.000 Who is we and they and our?

01:10:04.000 You know, there's...

01:10:05.000 Human beings interacting with each other.

01:10:07.000 What are you saying? 0.97

01:10:07.000 They can't live here, and you can't live there, and what fucking government owns what patch of this dirt, and they get to instill Sharia law? 0.97

01:10:15.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

01:10:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:18.000 Goddamn. 1.00

01:10:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:19.000 The problem is the organization of all these different human beings under various groups, whether it's the group called a city, or the group called a state, or the group called a country. 1.00

01:10:29.000 Like, that's where shit gets fucked. 0.99

01:10:30.000 And then you rely on the morals and the intellect of a handful of leaders to guide the entire fucking set of laws that govern this patch of land and all the millions and millions of people. 1.00

01:10:43.000 The idea that we let the Terminator be the governor of California, that should be enough. 0.86

01:10:48.000 And he didn't do a bad job, by the way.

01:10:50.000 Not bad at all.

01:10:50.000 Didn't do a bad job.

01:10:51.000 You know, he did a lot better job than other folks would have.

01:10:54.000 I'm not dissatisfied with a Terminator's work.

01:10:56.000 He was a good governor.

01:10:58.000 On the L.A. River in particular, he did some good stuff.

01:11:00.000 I think he did.

01:11:01.000 He's got a sign by the L.A. River, so I guess that means he did something to it.

01:11:04.000 The way he describes it, he says the bureaucracy of government was just insanely complicated.

01:11:10.000 There's no way to get through it.

01:11:11.000 The way they would say, look, that would be logical, but we can't do it that way, so if you bring this up, I'm going to oppose it because it...

01:11:19.000 It benefits my constituents and I oppose it and then we'll debate and it'll just get pushed under the rug and it'll go away.

01:11:25.000 And that's how we do it.

01:11:26.000 And they squash things that way. 0.96

01:11:27.000 So this is a handful of people that are moving around all these core parts of our society and changing weird laws and instilling new regulations and charging taxes and figuring out all this weird shit. 0.97

01:11:42.000 Yes. 0.99

01:11:43.000 And this is a fucking, what are there, a hundred of them? 0.99

01:11:45.000 A few hundred of them? 0.99

01:11:46.000 It's crazy.

01:11:46.000 The idea of a few hundred people, could say it's a thousand.

01:11:49.000 Yeah.

01:11:49.000 A thousand people at the top of the heap in California can, you can make laws for the other 30 million?

01:11:58.000 Yes, they can.

01:11:59.000 That's crazy. 1.00

01:12:00.000 It's fucking nuts, man. 1.00

01:12:01.000 It's crazy. 0.99

01:12:01.000 It's nuts to imagine that that's how the human hive currently is functioning, is that we assign various queens and kings, you know, we give people, we assign people a lot of power. 0.99

01:12:13.000 And worship those people in hilarious ways.

01:12:16.000 And like how cops fall into this horrible trap of being involved in constant conflict, back and forth, constant conflict.

01:12:25.000 And they get used to this position of power and they get confused by this position of power and this position of being constantly in conflict.

01:12:33.000 And then they come into things charged.

01:12:35.000 I think people in government are probably the same way.

01:12:38.000 You get someone, you give them a position where they're in charge, like Lyndon Johnson back in the 60s when you weren't really as responsible as you are today for every single thing you say or do. 0.98

01:12:50.000 I mean, he could get away with a lot of shifty shit back then, man. 0.98

01:12:53.000 That guy was a scary dude. 1.00

01:12:56.000 Yeah, man.

01:12:58.000 To go back to the beginning part of that, the cop example, and why cops act the way that they act.

01:13:06.000 Somebody, you know, I was doing a real shrill hippie rant against cops. 0.92

01:13:11.000 And, man, I was really being self-righteous, and I really got into full, like, trussel shrill, raspy lesbian. 0.91

01:13:18.000 This is an outrageous thing that they're allowed to... 0.90

01:13:20.000 And then somebody said this to me.

01:13:22.000 It's like, hey, I want you to imagine this, man.

01:13:26.000 You have a pregnant wife at home, and some guy that has got bad tags or whose car matches an Amber Alert car, whose car matches the car of somebody who killed some people a few weeks ago,

01:13:45.000 drives in front of you.

01:13:48.000 And your job is to pull that person over.

01:13:51.000 But that person decides he doesn't want to pull over. 0.98

01:13:54.000 So now you've got to chase this fucking person because if you don't chase this person, there's a possibility he's going to do something else in the world and you're going to have to deal with that guilt for the rest of your life because you didn't catch this guy who could have been this person. 1.00

01:14:06.000 So you chase this fucking person, high speed fucking chase, down the interstate. 1.00

01:14:11.000 You look down at your cell phone for a second. 1.00

01:14:13.000 It's your wife calling. 0.87

01:14:14.000 She's pregnant. 1.00

01:14:15.000 You have a pregnant fucking wife and you're driving 115 miles per hour down the interstate to chase some fucking asshole who's not pulling over, who very potentially has a weapon and they're going to shoot you and your son or daughter is going to grow up without a daddy. 1.00

01:14:31.000 So when you finally get that person, or a group of your best friends get that person pulled over, it's gonna be safe to say that your adrenaline levels are gonna be at African bull elephant level, off the chart, 1.00

01:14:46.000 your pulse is pounding, and you're gonna get out of the fucking car, and you're not gonna think, probably, unless you're a zen master and you have full control over yourself. 0.71

01:14:55.000 Like, if you've ever gotten road rage, where you've screamed at someone just for cutting you off, Think about the rage you would experience once you finally tackle somebody who just almost killed you and a bunch of innocent people trying to cross the street in a high-speed pursuit. 0.99

01:15:13.000 You are going to be angrier than you've ever been in your fucking life. 0.62

01:15:18.000 And so, I mean, to maintain that kind of like calm, Placid professionalism that you're supposed to maintain when every part of your body is telling you to kill this threat in your life is not exactly the easiest thing ever. 0.99

01:15:33.000 I'm not excusing cop violence. 0.98

01:15:36.000 I'm just saying if you really look at it, you can empathize with why you as an individual, if you put yourself in that position, might not be able to stop Your elbow from landing on that person's back a little harder than it needed to, because you're fucking pissed, 0.98

01:15:51.000 right? 0.98

01:15:52.000 So, somebody explained that to me, and it's like, oh shit, of course, yeah, I do understand that, you're right. 0.99

01:15:58.000 Still wrong, still cops shouldn't beat fucking people up, and a lot of times they do it, it's obviously a sociopath who's gotten the job of a cop. 0.99

01:16:06.000 But a lot of times it's somebody who really got into the job because they were like, fuck, man, I want to do good things in the world. 0.98

01:16:13.000 And they're not perfect. 0.97

01:16:14.000 We got to lighten up a little bit.

01:16:16.000 I got to lighten up a little bit.

01:16:17.000 I got to lighten up a little bit.

01:16:18.000 I think it's a job that almost no one's qualified to do.

01:16:20.000 Right.

01:16:21.000 I think that you could talk to a guy.

01:16:22.000 I know a dude who got mugged once and he has PTSD. Like he freaks him out.

01:16:27.000 He has nightmares.

01:16:28.000 One time!

01:16:28.000 He got mugged one time.

01:16:30.000 And, you know, he has what he calls post-traumatic stress disorder.

01:16:33.000 It changed his life. 0.99

01:16:35.000 Like, you imagine being a fucking cop, and every single goddamn day, you're dealing with a new guy who got shot in the face, a new woman who got run over by a truck, a new this, a new that, a new... 1.00

01:16:45.000 Extreme violence, a new horrible accidents, all that shit. 1.00

01:16:49.000 You're constantly dealing with this barrage of terror. 0.99

01:16:53.000 And then you're not even getting paid that much!

01:16:56.000 What do you get?

01:16:57.000 You get 50 grand a year, 60 grand a year at the most?

01:16:59.000 How much does a starting cop in LA make?

01:17:02.000 Let's pretend.

01:17:03.000 Let's pretend it's $100,000 a year, because it's not that.

01:17:07.000 Would you be willing to get $2,000 a week for people to shoot at you?

01:17:12.000 Yeah.

01:17:12.000 You'd be like, how many more weeks can I collect this money?

01:17:15.000 Right.

01:17:15.000 How many more weeks?

01:17:17.000 How many weeks can you collect that money?

01:17:19.000 Right. 0.98

01:17:19.000 Before you're dead. 0.98

01:17:21.000 Before you get shot in the head by some dude who hates cops who's been in and out of jail his whole life because his fucking parents were criminals. 1.00

01:17:27.000 Right. 1.00

01:17:28.000 To a criminal neighborhood. 1.00

01:17:29.000 He's constantly around crime and violence and he was abused from the time he first popped out of his mother's pussy. 1.00

01:17:35.000 And he's just doomed. 1.00

01:17:36.000 Just on Doom Street.

01:17:37.000 And you just want to get home to your kids.

01:17:39.000 Good luck.

01:17:39.000 And that's every day.

01:17:40.000 That's it.

01:17:41.000 Yeah, that's reality. 0.99

01:17:42.000 It's fucking really... 0.95

01:17:43.000 Starting pay is $57,420. 0.98

01:17:46.000 And that's probably before taxes.

01:17:47.000 I don't know if they pay taxes.

01:17:49.000 They pay taxes, right?

01:17:50.000 Yeah, of course they do.

01:17:52.000 They can pay taxes.

01:17:53.000 They do.

01:17:53.000 Scientology doesn't.

01:17:55.000 They're a cult.

01:17:56.000 The cult of police.

01:17:57.000 No, but they pay taxes, but Scientology doesn't.

01:18:01.000 That's hilarious.

01:18:02.000 That's hilarious.

01:18:04.000 As a religion, as an entity.

01:18:05.000 Obviously, the police department is a state.

01:18:08.000 They get funded by the state.

01:18:10.000 Look, I'm not an anti-cop person at all.

01:18:12.000 No, I know you're not.

01:18:12.000 I have a lot of friends that are cops.

01:18:14.000 I'm pro-cop.

01:18:15.000 I 100% am.

01:18:16.000 I just, as a human, I just don't think most humans are qualified to deal with the stress that comes with that job. 0.97

01:18:23.000 There's a few cool men Luke's out there that can fucking handle it.

01:18:26.000 There's a few Clint Eastwood's out there that can, like Big John McCarthy, the guy who, the referee for the UFC, that guy's seen everything. 0.95

01:18:33.000 He's seen everything. 0.99

01:18:35.000 I'll tell you some crazy fucking stories, but he's cool as shit. 1.00

01:18:37.000 You can hang with him. 1.00

01:18:38.000 He doesn't have any post-traumatic nothing.

01:18:40.000 He's fine.

01:18:41.000 He just deals in reality.

01:18:42.000 I mean, deals in reality.

01:18:43.000 I mean, he's a referee for MMA, the best ever, in his spare time, you know? 0.58

01:18:48.000 I mean, that's what he does for a goof.

01:18:50.000 Keep himself occupied, you know? 1.00

01:18:52.000 I mean, that guy's seen fucking everything, but he's cool as shit. 1.00

01:18:55.000 I had breakfast with him the other day in Mexico. 1.00

01:18:57.000 I had no idea that guy that's what he did. 0.99

01:19:00.000 That guy's got some great goddamn stories. 0.99

01:19:02.000 That's nuts. 0.99

01:19:02.000 My point being, he can handle it, but he's an exceptional dude. 0.99

01:19:06.000 He's an exceptionally mentally strong person, too.

01:19:10.000 For a lot of people, man, it's just too much.

01:19:12.000 And then on top of that, for a lot of people, they're dealing with that, and then their personal life is chaotic.

01:19:17.000 Maybe they married the wrong person. 0.99

01:19:18.000 Maybe their family's nuts. 1.00

01:19:20.000 Maybe they got a brother that's fucking crazy. 1.00

01:19:22.000 Who knows? 1.00

01:19:23.000 Who knows?

01:19:24.000 Who knows?

01:19:25.000 There's so many variables that people have to deal with.

01:19:27.000 And the idea that you would give one civilian who's not a monk, you haven't reached some 10th level of enlightenment that you can show me, that you can be completely without judgment and treat everyone with kindness and love.

01:19:41.000 No, no, you're just a guy.

01:19:43.000 You're just a regular guy.

01:19:44.000 And then you're put in this position where you get a gun.

01:19:46.000 You get a gun and you get a walkie-talkie and you're in a It's like a gang.

01:19:51.000 I mean, being a cop is like being in a positive gang.

01:19:54.000 And you're going out there and you're doing battle with all the negative gangs.

01:19:58.000 And there's a bunch of them.

01:20:00.000 And you know, you gotta make relationships and sometimes you gotta put your foot down. 1.00

01:20:04.000 Sometimes you gotta drag someone's fucking ass to jail and teach you a goddamn lesson. 1.00

01:20:08.000 You're throwing people in paddy wagons. 1.00

01:20:10.000 You become in conflict professionally with a group of people who are just trying to scratch out survival through crime. 0.99

01:20:18.000 The scariest people you could come in contact with ever, especially if you're some fucking white dude from Pomona with chubby cheeks and you just, you can't figure out another way to make a living. 1.00

01:20:27.000 And then all of a sudden, you're involved with Really hard people that have grown up in hard neighborhoods, and they will fucking sucker punch you and take your gun in a heartbeat. 0.99

01:20:36.000 And that's just, you're dealing with the wrong people. 0.98

01:20:39.000 They've already accepted the fact they're going to go back to jail.

01:20:41.000 Do you understand that?

01:20:42.000 They've been there.

01:20:43.000 They've been there.

01:20:43.000 They went through juvenile hall.

01:20:45.000 They might have gotten raped in juvie. 0.98

01:20:46.000 Okay? 0.97

01:20:47.000 These are wild people in a lot of situations.

01:20:50.000 When you're on a crime call, like say if you're responding to some home invasion or you're responding to someone breaking into some building and looting and robbing or something like that, who knows what kind of human beings you're encountering?

01:21:02.000 Who knows what kind of history they have in the penal system, how they've been tortured and shoved into these cages and turned into worse, scarier criminals and then released after time served.

01:21:13.000 Good luck, Johnson, out there on the mean streets of Los Angeles. 0.95

01:21:17.000 You know, and then you get out there and you gotta stay in a halfway house, whatever the fuck you have to do, and you don't have any job prospects. 1.00

01:21:23.000 And next thing you know, you're involved again, and you've accepted the fact that you're a fucking criminal. 1.00

01:21:27.000 And the cops are coming, they ain't holding me off the fucking jail, and they start shooting. 1.00

01:21:31.000 The moment they see you, bang, bang, bang! 1.00

01:21:33.000 They think about that time in the cage. 1.00

01:21:35.000 They think about all the fucking kids that raped them in juvenile hall. 1.00

01:21:38.000 They think about every horrible thing that's ever happened to them. 1.00

01:21:40.000 And they unload with their gun on you.

01:21:42.000 Dang, dang, dang.

01:21:43.000 And your little chubby Pomona face starts going pale because you're bleeding out.

01:21:48.000 Wow.

01:21:49.000 Yeah, your cheek lands on somebody's squad card. 0.90

01:21:52.000 Yeah, your eyeballs blown out the back of your head.

01:21:54.000 You realize you have a hole in your head, but you're still seeing out of your left eye.

01:21:57.000 And you watch your life slip away from you.

01:22:00.000 Why?

01:22:00.000 Because you got the wrong gig.

01:22:02.000 Everybody that's a cop has to think like that, man.

01:22:04.000 I mean, those possibilities aren't just...

01:22:07.000 It's not just it could happen.

01:22:08.000 It has.

01:22:10.000 It absolutely has.

01:22:11.000 It does.

01:22:11.000 There's so many cops get murdered on the job.

01:22:13.000 So many.

01:22:14.000 There's so many.

01:22:15.000 There's so many videos of it.

01:22:16.000 You know, the idea that all these cops that have killed people are singularly the problem.

01:22:21.000 There's a whole big problem, and the problem is the way human beings treat each other.

01:22:25.000 The need for cops in the first place is the problem before the idea of cops being the problem.

01:22:31.000 I mean, everybody wants to look at police violence, for good reason.

01:22:34.000 It's a very important subject right now, for all of us.

01:22:37.000 Especially when it has connotations of...

01:22:39.000 It's got connections to racism, it's got connections to sexual issues.

01:22:44.000 There's also, you know, when you see a man punch a woman in a situation where you probably don't think he would punch a guy. 0.99

01:22:51.000 There's a lot of weird shit that happens with police officers interacting with human beings. 0.92

01:22:56.000 The idea that anybody's qualified to hold that position and have that kind of power just by being a regular guy, good luck. 0.98

01:23:04.000 Good luck trying to do that.

01:23:07.000 But the problem is that it exists at all, that we need it at all.

01:23:11.000 The problem is that there are all these crimes.

01:23:13.000 The problem is that we do beat each other up.

01:23:15.000 You do have domestic violence issues where you show up and some guy's beating his wife up. 0.90

01:23:20.000 Those are real.

01:23:21.000 You really are going to encounter that.

01:23:23.000 Those are really the problems.

01:23:26.000 The fact that we need police at all are the problem.

01:23:29.000 It's these issues, these events, these patterns of human behavior that are horrible, where we're horrible to each other. 1.00

01:23:36.000 Those are the fucking problems. 0.98

01:23:37.000 Everything from that is just the wrong solution to deal with that problem. 0.99

01:23:43.000 And one of the wrong solutions is to let just about anybody be a cop. 0.99

01:23:47.000 And you give them a gun, and you give them some training, and you send them with their weak fucking character out there in the world. 0.98

01:23:53.000 Because not everybody's big John McCarthy. 1.00

01:23:55.000 There's a lot of bitches out there. 1.00

01:23:56.000 There's a lot of dudes that get to be a cop, and they really are a bitch. 1.00

01:24:00.000 And that's a fact. 1.00

01:24:01.000 And if you put that guy in a stressful situation where it's all going down, he's gonna probably fucking panic.

01:24:07.000 Like that pool party, that legendary pool. 0.91

01:24:10.000 You saw that pool party, right?

01:24:11.000 Where the cop, like, there's some girl in a bikini, throws her to the ground. 1.00

01:24:15.000 He does that barrel roll.

01:24:17.000 He comes in with a barrel roll. 0.98

01:24:19.000 It's so fucking hilarious. 0.99

01:24:21.000 Like, this is his dream. 0.98

01:24:22.000 That is the problem.

01:24:23.000 It's like, not everybody's becoming cops for the exact same reason, but what you just did...

01:24:29.000 All of that, man, is really important because it helps people empathize with most of them.

01:24:35.000 And that's the ticket right there, man.

01:24:37.000 We've got to learn how to empathize.

01:24:39.000 They've got to learn how to empathize with us, too.

01:24:42.000 Like, they've got to understand that a lot of the people that they're attacking They're attacking them for drug laws that shouldn't exist anyway. 0.91

01:24:50.000 That's a lot of it, but there's a lot of other shit that they're attacking people for too.

01:24:55.000 If we can get rid of the prohibition on drugs, however we do it, I don't care. 0.80

01:25:01.000 But if we can get rid of the prohibition on drugs, so that now cops are just, as Graham Hancock points out, there's already laws in place for people doing Awful things under the influence of drugs or not under the influence of drugs.

01:25:14.000 We just need to enforce those, not the drug laws themselves, right?

01:25:18.000 So, if we remove that from the equation, so these poor cops aren't being told To go out into the world and instead of being heroes, you've also got to pull relatively benign white powder out of the pockets of people who have fifteen dollars in the bank and only want to experience a temporary moment of bliss before they pass out.

01:25:40.000 If you remove that component of their job and just like stop people from beating and killing each other and from stealing don't worry about the drugs then now we've got heroes now we've got knights riding through the land who are actually doing everything they can to make people be cool instead of Knights riding through the land who want to pull plant matter out of a 16 year old's pocket and act like the kid just assassinated Kennedy.

01:26:09.000 That's not what we need.

01:26:10.000 And I think that's that once you once you fucking fix the prohibition on drugs, man, then I think police officers are gonna experience the same kind of respect that firemen get.

01:26:20.000 That's how it should be. 0.81

01:26:21.000 And one step further, once they legalize marijuana, everyone's gonna start smoking pot and you're gonna get a lot more relaxed people.

01:26:27.000 Yes.

01:26:28.000 You're going to get people that are a lot more introspective.

01:26:30.000 Oh, what are you saying, man?

01:26:31.000 Everybody should smoke pot!

01:26:32.000 This is what I'm saying.

01:26:34.000 If you don't believe that a lot more people smoking pot would have a significant impact on the way human beings interact with each other, all that means to me is you don't smoke pot.

01:26:44.000 Right, right.

01:26:45.000 Because if you smoke pot, you would know that that's exactly what would happen.

01:26:48.000 People would become more empathetic.

01:26:49.000 Not across the board, not always.

01:26:51.000 There's always going to be people that are the exception to the rule.

01:26:54.000 There's always going to be people that just don't get it.

01:26:55.000 There's always going to be people that get it and they don't need pot.

01:26:57.000 They don't need anything. 0.99

01:26:58.000 They're just tuned in and they're kind and they're on point and they're living in the moment and all that good shit. 0.96

01:27:03.000 But then there's other people that benefit from those things. 0.98

01:27:05.000 And you deny those people the opportunity to benefit from those things and then you become the enemy.

01:27:10.000 You become the fuzz.

01:27:11.000 You become the man. 1.00

01:27:12.000 And then you're a fucking glorified revenue collector, too. 0.99

01:27:16.000 What are you really doing? 0.99

01:27:17.000 I'm gonna get a fine?

01:27:18.000 I gotta go to court and pay the court and pay a fine?

01:27:22.000 What am I paying?

01:27:23.000 I'm giving you money?

01:27:24.000 You need thousands of dollars because I like plants? 1.00

01:27:26.000 How about fuck you? 1.00

01:27:28.000 What kind of crazy shit is this? 1.00

01:27:30.000 You can lock me in a cage and charge me money because I like plants. 1.00

01:27:33.000 Right.

01:27:34.000 Are you the arbiter of nature?

01:27:36.000 Are you the one who gets to decide what's beneficial and what's not with zero evidence behind it whatsoever?

01:27:43.000 It's one of the most heinous crimes on nature.

01:27:46.000 The illegalization of marijuana is one of the most heinous crimes on nature that mankind has ever...

01:27:52.000 We're not ever put forth and we're doing it to ourselves. 0.98

01:27:55.000 It's even worse than most of the shit that we do to other planets or to other animals by torturing them or by killing them or by poisoning the lakes and the rivers. 0.87

01:28:08.000 We're poisoning the consciousness of ourselves by not allowing people to have freedom to experiment with all sorts of different states of consciousness. 0.99

01:28:18.000 You have a legal way to do it through yoga.

01:28:21.000 You have a legal way to do it through prescription medication.

01:28:25.000 You have a legal way to do it through alcohol and things that we tax. 1.00

01:28:29.000 But if you decide that you want to try to do it in a way that we haven't sanctioned, And we don't get paid for, we don't get taxes from, we'll lock you in a fucking cage for the rest of your life. 0.99

01:28:40.000 That's right. 0.98

01:28:42.000 The difference as far as impact, like the physical danger, significantly less than any of the ones that you have legally.

01:28:49.000 Oh, yeah.

01:28:50.000 It is the one that you can't die from.

01:28:52.000 You can die from aspirin. 0.99

01:28:54.000 There's not a single fucking person that wants you to ban aspirin. 1.00

01:28:57.000 There's no ban aspirin movement. 0.99

01:28:58.000 Yeah.

01:28:58.000 There's no, like, we gotta take these aspirin.

01:29:00.000 If you just eat a bottle of aspirin, you're fucked, man. 1.00

01:29:02.000 You're dead. 1.00

01:29:03.000 Right. 1.00

01:29:04.000 If you have one of those Bayer fucking aspirins, those big... 1.00

01:29:07.000 Sure. 1.00

01:29:07.000 I guarantee if you chugged that whole bottle down, you'd die. 1.00

01:29:10.000 Or pure caffeine.

01:29:10.000 Don't forget that.

01:29:11.000 Kids die all the time from ordering pure caffeine from Amazon.

01:29:14.000 I don't know if they still sell it, but they used to sell pure caffeine.

01:29:17.000 You hear it all the time.

01:29:18.000 Kid party, takes a teaspoonful of pure caffeine, and that's it, man.

01:29:24.000 Dead.

01:29:24.000 Dead meat.

01:29:25.000 Yeah, your heart just flies right out of your fucking chest like a bird. 1.00

01:29:28.000 Yeah, that's right, man. 1.00

01:29:30.000 And how about just water?

01:29:32.000 I mean, there was that woman on a radio station in like Sacramento or something a year, a few years back.

01:29:37.000 She was involved in some sort of contest to see who could drink the most water. 0.95

01:29:42.000 And if you drank the most water, you know, you got a prize.

01:29:44.000 I remember that. 1.00

01:29:45.000 She fucking died. 1.00

01:29:46.000 That's terrible. 1.00

01:29:47.000 Yeah.

01:29:48.000 You know, she went home to her.

01:29:49.000 I mean, she was on her way home or something like that.

01:29:52.000 She had a daughter.

01:29:53.000 She was just trying to make some extra money. 1.00

01:29:55.000 Yeah.

01:29:55.000 You know, and she died drinking water.

01:29:57.000 Died from water.

01:29:58.000 It's insane.

01:29:59.000 Yeah.

01:29:59.000 It's insane.

01:29:59.000 But that wouldn't happen to you if you smoked too much pot.

01:30:02.000 That's right.

01:30:02.000 It wouldn't happen to you if you ate too much pot.

01:30:04.000 So the idea that they're blocking anybody up for that is fucking ridiculous. 0.99

01:30:08.000 If you put cops in a position where they have to enforce a law that they know, everybody knows, is ridiculous, then that cop is in a bad position in society. 0.99

01:30:18.000 He becomes the enemy from the jump.

01:30:21.000 The enemy that he can't even agree with. 0.99

01:30:23.000 Most cops, you talk to most cops, they don't give a fuck about pot. 1.00

01:30:26.000 They don't want to have to enforce that. 0.99

01:30:28.000 Most of the guys in their 30s, you'd have to be a total, complete piece of shit as a human being to be a cop in your 30s and really want to arrest a regular person who's not doing anything wrong, who happens to have a joint on them. 1.00

01:30:40.000 You gotta be an insane piece of shit. 1.00

01:30:42.000 If this guy didn't do anything wrong and he has a joint on him and you want to arrest him, you're a cunt. 1.00

01:30:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:49.000 Beyond all description.

01:30:51.000 You're addled.

01:30:52.000 Yeah, I mean, that's a problem because that is the law.

01:30:55.000 In most states, that is the law.

01:30:58.000 Like, they're supposed to arrest you for that.

01:30:59.000 Yeah.

01:31:00.000 Most states.

01:31:01.000 Most!

01:31:01.000 Yeah.

01:31:02.000 Which is insane.

01:31:03.000 Here we are.

01:31:05.000 We're sending videos through the sky, phone to phone.

01:31:08.000 We're periscoping and live streaming and driving around in cars that have satellites connected to them.

01:31:15.000 They tell you exactly what street you're on.

01:31:17.000 And when the turn's coming up, they give you a ding-dong to tell you to turn exactly where you are.

01:31:23.000 And yet we still have that.

01:31:25.000 Yeah, but it's changing.

01:31:27.000 It is changing, and it just doesn't happen as fast as us stoners would like it to change.

01:31:31.000 Like, it seems so obvious.

01:31:32.000 You want the thing to flip around instantly.

01:31:34.000 It's almost like they can't do that because then they would have to admit fault.

01:31:39.000 It's almost like there's just a terrible bureaucratic web that takes time to make things change when you're using that bureaucratic web. 0.99

01:31:51.000 That's the fucking problem, man. 1.00

01:31:53.000 And things are slow, but shit. 1.00

01:31:55.000 It's happening. 1.00

01:31:56.000 It is happening.

01:31:57.000 It's going to become legal.

01:31:58.000 We can't stop there.

01:31:59.000 We've got to get psilocybin prescribed at the very least.

01:32:05.000 MDMA needs to be a prescription medication.

01:32:08.000 All psychoactive substances like ayahuasca, DMT, all of these things need to be studied.

01:32:16.000 They need to be Research and then they need to get into the hands of doctors who could really use them to help people.

01:32:25.000 They could be an incredible tool for helping people who are suffering right now and the whole thing's all gummed up and that is a true tragedy.

01:32:32.000 It doesn't stop with marijuana though.

01:32:34.000 It goes all the way through the spectrum of drugs and it also goes to the very creepy Unacknowledged problem with the pharmaceutical companies which are releasing heroin on a daily basis into the bloodstream of this species and they're not being treated like heroin dealers.

01:32:55.000 A lot of people are getting addicted to super powerful pharmaceutical medications and I don't think the pharmaceutical companies are being held to any kind of To anything.

01:33:06.000 It's just, for whatever reason, if your friend gets addicted to OxyContin, because his back was thrown out, and you hear that story, you're supposed to feel a little bit more empathy towards him than if you hear somebody who got addicted to black tar heroin, when it's like, 0.98

01:33:22.000 no, it's the same fucking thing. 0.65

01:33:24.000 Wasn't that part of the argument with the Silk Road trial? 0.99

01:33:27.000 Was it this young man who had run that website that allowed people to buy all sorts of illegal drugs?

01:33:33.000 He had been directly responsible for people overdosing.

01:33:36.000 He'd been directly responsible for people that, you know, may have committed some crimes and done some shitty things were on those drugs.

01:33:44.000 And, you know, he had to, like, face the parents of people who bought drugs and had overdosed in some form.

01:33:50.000 Yeah.

01:33:52.000 I don't know the specifics of the case, but that was part of what they were charging him for.

01:33:55.000 Well, how come that never gets brought up with pharmaceutical companies?

01:33:58.000 Because, I mean, think about all the different people.

01:34:00.000 So you're not responsible for your own actions as long as the drug's illegal, but you are responsible for your own actions if the drug's legal and prescribed by a doctor, but maybe even more addictive? 0.99

01:34:11.000 Like, wait a minute, what the fuck kind of stupid rules are we abiding by here? 0.99

01:34:16.000 Take Heath Ledger. 1.00

01:34:17.000 Take him.

01:34:18.000 Take Heath Ledger.

01:34:19.000 Take him in your eyes.

01:34:20.000 Take him.

01:34:21.000 Take Heath Ledger and imagine if Heath Ledger had OD'd on heroin.

01:34:26.000 Remember when...

01:34:27.000 God, what...

01:34:27.000 Phoenix.

01:34:28.000 River Phoenix.

01:34:28.000 Not River Phoenix.

01:34:29.000 The great actor.

01:34:30.000 He's so cool.

01:34:31.000 Blonde.

01:34:31.000 Philip Seymour Hoffman.

01:34:32.000 Right.

01:34:32.000 One of the news stories was how they were trying to find his dealer, right?

01:34:35.000 They were like, we're going to hunt down the guy who sold him this fucking shitty smack. 1.00

01:34:38.000 But when Heath Ledger ODs on these fucking pills, you don't hear anybody being like, we're going to find the pharmacist that gave Heath Ledger this combination of fucking pills, and we're going to take this son of a bitch down. 1.00

01:34:49.000 It's just like, well, it was pills. 1.00

01:34:51.000 So it's Heath Ledger's fault.

01:34:53.000 It's not the pharmacist.

01:34:56.000 That's a very good point. 0.97

01:34:57.000 Yeah, it's just ridiculous. 0.99

01:35:00.000 Let's acknowledge the fact that if you're dealing drugs, you're a drug dealer. 0.88

01:35:05.000 And whatever the drug is that you're dealing, whether it's sanctioned by the state or not sanctioned by the state, whatever that drug is that you're dealing, it is the decision of the person who buys it from you.

01:35:18.000 To take it.

01:35:19.000 It is their own free will.

01:35:20.000 It is human autonomy. 0.94

01:35:22.000 If you decide to take a substance, that is your right as a human, no matter what the fuck it is, from goddamn heroin to marijuana to alcohol, your right as a human being on this planet is to, as much as you want, alter or transform your particular chemical states or psychological states or mood states, 0.90

01:35:43.000 Even if it ends up killing you, but under the effects of those things, you're not allowed to hurt other people. 1.00

01:35:50.000 You're not allowed to do fucked up shit. 0.99

01:35:52.000 And if you do, those are the laws and the crimes that you should be held accountable for. 1.00

01:35:56.000 Hunter Thompson had a set of rules that he was trying to establish when he was running for mayor of Aspen in the 1970s.

01:36:04.000 And one of the things was he was going to have stockades.

01:36:07.000 He was gonna saw it up all the streets, like chew up all the concrete, saw the streets, and he was gonna have stockades that he would put drug dealers.

01:36:17.000 He said that any drug worth taking, you should never buy or sell.

01:36:22.000 So part of his rule is what he was going to do was he was going to...

01:36:30.000 Well, obviously he wasn't really going to do that.

01:36:31.000 I mean, it was pros.

01:36:32.000 But he was saying that he was going to have stockades in front of the statehouse or in front of the building, whatever it would be.

01:36:40.000 Wow.

01:36:41.000 Wow.

01:36:41.000 He's great, man.

01:36:42.000 He's got another quote I just read, which I love, which is like, you don't find LSD, LSD finds you when you're ready.

01:36:50.000 It's true.

01:36:51.000 It's pretty cool, man.

01:36:52.000 I believe that.

01:36:53.000 I believe that with all psychedelics.

01:36:55.000 I really do. 1.00

01:36:55.000 It sounds so stupid when you say it. 1.00

01:36:57.000 Like, oh, you believe it, bro? 1.00

01:36:59.000 You believe there's a plan for everything?

01:37:01.000 It doesn't matter if I believe it or don't believe it, because I really would never know if it's true.

01:37:05.000 But it's fun to believe it, so therefore I believe it.

01:37:08.000 I don't really think that Bruce Banner becomes the Hulk and leaps through the air and smashes the airplanes.

01:37:13.000 But it's fun to watch it, and while it's happening, I try to pretend like it's really happening.

01:37:18.000 Yeah, man! 0.92

01:37:19.000 Damn right! 0.91

01:37:21.000 That's a problem, man. 0.96

01:37:22.000 You know, I think a lot of skeptics and and cynics don't- Miss out on fun.

01:37:26.000 They don't understand that it's a- that, like, they- I believe that I can choose whatever lens I want to use to look through the universe. 0.96

01:37:33.000 But they're super important, too, man, because they dispel bullshit. 0.94

01:37:36.000 Sure.

01:37:37.000 The comfort that you have in balancing on the ledge of truth and fantasy and fun.

01:37:43.000 Some people do not have that comfort on that ledge, and for them, skeptics are hugely important.

01:37:48.000 Love them. 0.98

01:37:48.000 Because they can disprove a lot of the shit that other folks can't see. 0.98

01:37:51.000 Everybody has different vision when it comes to their ability to perceive things. 0.99

01:37:54.000 And some people are born short-sighted.

01:37:56.000 But we're supposed to pretend that the brain is 100% equal across the board. 0.99

01:38:00.000 And everyone can see all the bullshit that everyone else can see. 0.99

01:38:03.000 Right. 0.99

01:38:03.000 Well, that's not always the case. 0.99

01:38:05.000 There's some people that just don't have good sight.

01:38:08.000 And they don't have good clarity either.

01:38:10.000 They just don't.

01:38:11.000 And they need help.

01:38:12.000 Well, yeah, they do.

01:38:14.000 You're right. 1.00

01:38:15.000 But those people aren't going to listen to a fucking skeptic. 1.00

01:38:17.000 No. 1.00

01:38:18.000 But they need a little...

01:38:19.000 Some of them will.

01:38:21.000 There's a spectrum of them.

01:38:23.000 But I do think, as a skeptic, in the same way, I will fully admit that many fantasies that I have, many ideas that I have... 0.72

01:38:32.000 Are completely unprovable and more than likely horseshit.

01:38:37.000 Yeah, but they're so fun.

01:38:38.000 That's the beautiful thing.

01:38:39.000 They're so fun.

01:38:40.000 But here's another thing that's important to acknowledge is that some of the lenses that you look through the universe through, even if the symbols that are within those lenses are completely ridiculous, like the symbol of Jesus rising from the dead, for example, or the symbol of Ganesh or the symbol of Hanuman, 0.98

01:39:00.000 Even though the symbols themselves are clearly fantasy, the effect of gazing through those lenses and the effect that it has on the decisions that you make quite often can be really profound, which is that instead of making selfish, stupid,

01:39:16.000 angry decisions, you might start making more positive decisions because you've connected with this archetypical god of friendship and devotion, which is who Hahnemann is.

01:39:26.000 You know, Hahnemann's this monkey god that represents, like, Pure devotion or service and friendship at the deepest, sweetest level.

01:39:36.000 And it's beautiful.

01:39:37.000 It's beautiful.

01:39:38.000 And so I can use that symbol if I want to when I'm thinking about...

01:39:43.000 Loyalty or when I'm thinking about like giving up my life for another person's life when I think about like Giving myself to another person with nothing really to gain other than giving myself to that person and helping them as I can It's a great symbol.

01:39:59.000 It works. 0.75

01:39:59.000 It doesn't have to be fucking real Do I believe in a monkey god that flies through the sky? 0.75

01:40:04.000 Do I believe in that? 0.95

01:40:05.000 Do you think that symbols what they can be is almost like dedicated Dedicated thoughts that you can cling on to if you're...

01:40:14.000 Let me try to explain this.

01:40:17.000 If you're moving through a sea of being a person, all the variables, all the negatives and positives and the changing the tide of your emotions and your happiness and your discontent and your depression, but you could have these islands that in this float you could cling to,

01:40:35.000 and one of them might be the Buddha.

01:40:37.000 Yes.

01:40:37.000 And when you see the Buddha, you think of enlightenment, you think of yourself at peace, and it can somehow or another imbibe you with this encapsulation of at least your imaginary idea of what it's like to be enlightened.

01:40:56.000 Damn right.

01:40:57.000 You cling to that, and then it can maybe guide you a little. 0.96

01:41:00.000 You could hold on to that.

01:41:01.000 And it'll carry you down and maybe from there you can get to dry land.

01:41:04.000 Maybe from there you can get to the island of new ideas.

01:41:07.000 But these archetypal things that you cling to, these images, whatever they may be, the reason why they've existed throughout history is that people have found value in their memories and connecting thoughts and principles and ideas to these symbols.

01:41:21.000 And that's why they defend them so hard.

01:41:23.000 That's why people are willing to kill you if you draw Muhammad. 0.99

01:41:25.000 If you fuck up their idea of their symbol. 0.99

01:41:27.000 Their symbol is so significant to them that they're willing to You know, they're willing to lash out and cause murder because you violated their symbol. 0.71

01:41:37.000 They got stuck on the symbol and that's a problem. 0.86

01:41:39.000 It's like somebody going through the wilderness thinking that the compass is the destination and it's, you know, that's I don't know how anyone would be that dumb to think that, so that's a wrong way to put it. 0.99

01:41:51.000 In the same way, people who are always fighting over the historic Jesus, the people are like, that guy didn't even fucking exist. 0.87

01:42:01.000 And the people that get really caught up in disproving Jesus, they've also gotten caught up in the surface level of that symbol.

01:42:07.000 And so they're spending all their time trying to prove, no, no, no, there never was a historic Jesus, or the historic Jesus that existed was not the Jesus in the Bible. 0.51

01:42:17.000 Whatever you want to say, you're damn right.

01:42:20.000 I'll buy it, sure.

01:42:21.000 There was no real Jesus, or if there was, he was one of many people, or who knows, or maybe he wasn't magical or whatever. 0.99

01:42:28.000 On one level, fuck yes, you're 100% right. 0.96

01:42:31.000 There's also no Santa Claus, there's no such thing as ghosts, there's no such thing as reincarnation. 0.99

01:42:37.000 We're all just a...

01:42:40.000 Non-differentiated aspect of a great mass of atoms currently being exploded out of an event 13.8 billion years ago, and that's it.

01:42:51.000 Nothing else. 0.98

01:42:52.000 That's fucking it. 0.99

01:42:52.000 That's one level, and it's totally real. 0.99

01:42:55.000 There's another level, though.

01:42:57.000 That's the problem.

01:42:57.000 There's a completely other level, which is that the level of the interior self, the level of the subjective.

01:43:04.000 The universe did a big bang.

01:43:05.000 It exploded from the...

01:43:07.000 It did a big bang.

01:43:08.000 It exploded...

01:43:10.000 I did a big bang, mommy! 0.99

01:43:13.000 Like God, as a baby, just accidentally shit out of universe. 0.96

01:43:16.000 But it explodes out, and then it ends up turning into human beings, and human beings end up somehow developing this incredibly advanced frontal lobe and a neocortex. 0.85

01:43:27.000 Whenever you can throw out that word, throw it out.

01:43:29.000 It makes you seem smart.

01:43:30.000 If a neocortex walked out to me, I wouldn't know what it would look like.

01:43:34.000 But when that happened, we gained an interior universe, which is the universe of symbols, myth, dreams, stories.

01:43:41.000 And that's a real part of the material universe.

01:43:45.000 The material universe has a substrata, which is the universe of myth, and the universe of religion, and the universe of fantasy. 0.98

01:43:52.000 And that's another level of the fucking thing.

01:43:54.000 And if you start tuning into those symbols, it doesn't matter if you're tuning into an externalized mystical super entity, Or whether you're tuning into a part of your brain that it comes from millions of years of evolution, you're still tuning into a point where from harmonizing with it you can experience an elevated mood state and that elevated mood state in whatever way it manifests from the experience of samadhi to the experience 0.98

01:44:24.000 of The passion of the Christ, the surrender to allowing yourself to be destroyed by time and still loving it.

01:44:34.000 Or a yoga class, or a comedy club, or going to see a concert.

01:44:39.000 Yeah, it could be anything.

01:44:40.000 When you see a concert and you're seeing someone perform music, you know, someone who's really good, that you really appreciate their art.

01:44:45.000 It moves you.

01:44:46.000 Your body feels different.

01:44:48.000 Your emotions get torn up.

01:44:50.000 You're like, wow.

01:44:51.000 People will cry when they hear a great song.

01:44:53.000 They'll be moved. 1.00

01:44:55.000 They're like, fuck yeah. 1.00

01:44:55.000 They'll throw their hands in the air. 1.00

01:44:57.000 They'll get nutty.

01:44:58.000 Their body will start moving.

01:44:59.000 They can't even help it.

01:45:00.000 Or a mantra.

01:45:01.000 Yeah, or a mantra.

01:45:02.000 Or a mantra.

01:45:03.000 Or any number of things that you can lock into.

01:45:07.000 Whether there are sounds or images or something that we have encapsulated that causes us to react in this incredible way that we can replicate. 0.96

01:45:22.000 And everybody just goes fucking crazy. 0.99

01:45:25.000 Whether or not you agree with Bon Jovi or not, that moment where 15,000 freaks go crazy because he sings shot through the heart and you're to blame and they just lose their shit. 1.00

01:45:36.000 They can't help it. 0.99

01:45:37.000 They're stomping.

01:45:38.000 They're hugging each other.

01:45:39.000 Yeah.

01:45:40.000 They're like, oh my god, they're high-fiving each other.

01:45:42.000 It's the best.

01:45:43.000 Like, it's undeniable that that gave those 15,000 people, you know, step out of the role of being an art critic for a moment and look at what happened to those 15,000 people.

01:45:52.000 It's like, that's how I have to do with The Grateful Dead.

01:45:54.000 I've always had to step outside of the role of the music critic and just appreciate that some people love the fuck out of them.

01:46:01.000 Like, okay, I'm missing a gene or something.

01:46:04.000 No, you've just never taken acid and listened to The Grateful Dead.

01:46:09.000 That's all you gotta do, man.

01:46:10.000 Take some acid and listen to the Grateful Dead with me.

01:46:12.000 You'll understand.

01:46:13.000 Dude, I smoked DMT and listened to Icaros with Aubrey.

01:46:17.000 Wow. 0.97

01:46:18.000 And that, I don't know if the Grateful Dead and acid is going to be able to fuck with Icaros and the DMT experience. 0.97

01:46:25.000 You have to do that, by the way. 0.91

01:46:27.000 I would like to try that.

01:46:28.000 That is very different.

01:46:29.000 The Icaros thing is very different.

01:46:31.000 This is what McKenna was saying, that these shamans, they sing things into form.

01:46:37.000 Did you see like a visual representation?

01:46:40.000 They're perfectly synced.

01:46:42.000 They're one and the same.

01:46:43.000 They're two different things that go together.

01:46:45.000 And by their own, on their own, they're magical.

01:46:48.000 I mean, on their own.

01:46:49.000 The Icaros sound perfect. 0.94

01:46:50.000 It's so fucking amazing. 0.99

01:46:51.000 I listen to them on my way home from gigs when I want to think about things, but I also want to hear something because I don't know what the fuck they're saying. 0.99

01:46:59.000 So because I don't know what they're saying, I can enjoy it without being attached to the words. 0.93

01:47:03.000 They're just a bunch of noises to me, the cool noises.

01:47:06.000 The only one I know goes, and only because I know the word, Ayahuasca, ayahuasca, ayahuasca.

01:47:13.000 It's really weird.

01:47:14.000 It sounds like a little kid singing kind of, doesn't it?

01:47:16.000 Like a little kid in the forest would just be singing that song.

01:47:19.000 There's a lot of them that are like that, yeah.

01:47:21.000 There's a lot of them that are really interesting.

01:47:23.000 What is that?

01:47:24.000 Is that blowing tobacco smoke?

01:47:30.000 I listen to this one.

01:47:31.000 I whistle this one.

01:47:33.000 I find myself whistling it through the day.

01:47:35.000 And the other day...

01:47:39.000 I was whistling this at the comedy store, and one of the dudes who works there started whistling on it.

01:47:43.000 Oh, weird.

01:47:44.000 He knew it?

01:47:45.000 Nope.

01:47:46.000 Nope.

01:47:47.000 But I was doing it so much.

01:47:48.000 I was doing it so much, it sort of snuck into them.

01:47:53.000 So the idea behind it, according to the shaman, is that the plants give them their song.

01:48:00.000 And that as they're cooking up the ayahuasca, they learn the song.

01:48:05.000 And they figure it out through this relationship, this pure relationship that they have to the madre.

01:48:10.000 Because they're a real shaman.

01:48:12.000 And over the thousands of years of them doing this, they've found some songs.

01:48:18.000 And when you experience DMT under the spell of these songs, It's a very, very strange experience because they belong together.

01:48:29.000 It's like when you're hearing this, every time it changes and there's a whistle, a new chapter will start.

01:48:35.000 A new geometric pattern will explode into something completely different and dance around you.

01:48:42.000 And there's like a whole series that you listen to when you're on a trip.

01:48:46.000 You start off with one sort of an introductory one and you move into the other one.

01:48:49.000 And as it goes deeper and deeper and deeper, the experience changes.

01:48:55.000 It becomes this like really crazy, complex, geometric life form that's all-encompassing, that's everything, that's all around you.

01:49:04.000 That's beautiful.

01:49:05.000 It's very strange, dude.

01:49:06.000 I also love how there's crickets in the background a lot of this. 0.99

01:49:09.000 Oh yeah, that's legit as fuck. 0.99

01:49:11.000 I mean, this was all recorded during a ceremony. 0.99

01:49:15.000 So this is not just happening like with a guy singing. 0.99

01:49:20.000 It's happening, there's a guy singing with a group of people tripping their fucking balls off. 0.99

01:49:25.000 And he's guiding them. 0.99

01:49:31.000 And while this is going on, like it dances all around you and soothes you and calms you and explains to you.

01:49:38.000 Do you know what's even trippier about this? 0.94

01:49:41.000 Is that that night when whoever was listening to this, tripping their fucking brains out, I bet somebody thought, man, why do I feel like this is going to get transmitted to 10 million people? 0.97

01:49:54.000 How weird is that? 0.98

01:49:56.000 That's a very strange thing.

01:49:58.000 That's what technology does.

01:49:59.000 Because here you consider this incredible night.

01:50:01.000 God knows where that was.

01:50:04.000 Where do you think that was recorded? 0.99

01:50:05.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.99

01:50:06.000 I have an experiment that I want to do. 0.99

01:50:08.000 I'm going to have Crash rig my tank up with speakers.

01:50:12.000 I want to listen to that in the tank.

01:50:13.000 Because I think if I listen to that in a tank enough, I think if I put that on a loop for like an hour, I think I could trip my balls off.

01:50:21.000 I think I'm going to try that experiment too.

01:50:23.000 Yeah.

01:50:24.000 Well, you have a tank now. 1.00

01:50:26.000 I have a fucking tank now. 1.00

01:50:28.000 I got a zen tent now. 1.00

01:50:30.000 It's so cool.

01:50:31.000 I'm a zen tent.

01:50:32.000 Explain to me the situation.

01:50:34.000 It's in a bedroom?

01:50:36.000 Well, yeah. 0.51

01:50:36.000 What it is is, because, you know, like a Samadhi tank or any of the crashes tanks, they're fucking crazy, giant things that take a while. 0.51

01:50:44.000 They're expensive, right?

01:50:46.000 So, yeah, this is just like a...

01:50:47.000 Essentially like a reversed waterbed, I guess you'd say.

01:50:51.000 It's like it's a...

01:50:53.000 It's a tent that...

01:50:56.000 How many gallons of water?

01:50:57.000 I don't know the exact gallons, but it's big enough to float in fine.

01:51:00.000 Because I floated out in Austin at the Float Institute.

01:51:04.000 That place is amazing, huh?

01:51:05.000 Amazing!

01:51:06.000 That place is right up there with Crash's Place.

01:51:08.000 Have you done Crash's Place?

01:51:09.000 I haven't done that yet.

01:51:10.000 Crash is the grand master, but the guy who's got the tank place in Austin.

01:51:16.000 Kevin.

01:51:16.000 Yeah, Kevin.

01:51:16.000 What's it called again?

01:51:17.000 Float Institute.

01:51:18.000 Float Institute.

01:51:20.000 His things are built like boats.

01:51:22.000 Like the hub of a boat?

01:51:24.000 Or the hull of a boat, rather?

01:51:25.000 Those things are super adorable.

01:51:26.000 They don't even know the liner. 0.98

01:51:28.000 They're fucking cool, man. 0.99

01:51:29.000 They're super high-tech. 0.99

01:51:30.000 Super high-tech.

01:51:31.000 But, you know, the essence of the thing is you've got to...

01:51:37.000 Shit ton of salt and water, and you only need a certain amount of room, you know, based on like the average size of a human being. 0.99

01:51:44.000 Plenty of room in the damn things. 0.99

01:51:46.000 But yeah, I just, like I didn't realize how much I would enjoy having a float tank in my house. 0.99

01:51:55.000 Like I had no idea that it would be that important to me.

01:52:01.000 I've only had it for a few days.

01:52:02.000 But when you lived with me, you used it all the time.

01:52:05.000 Exactly!

01:52:06.000 And it was awesome to have access, but I was so broken-hearted and crazy back then. 0.84

01:52:11.000 Like, now it's just like, you know, I've been working out, I'll go work out at the gym, come back to the house with sore muscles, and then you're just, regardless of all the mystical shit, you're floating in 650 pounds of Epsom salt with sore muscles,

01:52:26.000 and that feels damn good, Oh no, it feels like you're charging batteries. 0.71

01:52:30.000 It's really amazing.

01:52:32.000 And you walk out of the thing, every time so far, and I've done 30 minute floats up to like an hour and a half so far, every time you get out of the thing, it's exactly like the next day after a great mushroom trip, where colors are brighter, you just feel rested.

01:52:46.000 It's super cool, man.

01:52:48.000 I haven't even gotten to the point of like, alright, what happens if I take a microdose of some psychoactive in this thing?

01:52:56.000 Haven't even gotten there yet.

01:52:57.000 You do that though.

01:53:00.000 That's the right way to respond to that question.

01:53:03.000 My favorite is eating pot.

01:53:04.000 If I ever ate too much pot and I was sitting around the house, I'd jump in right immediately.

01:53:08.000 I don't want to waste it.

01:53:10.000 Yeah, man.

01:53:12.000 That's what...

01:53:12.000 I mean, I guess that's a...

01:53:13.000 Of course I've been eating pot and going into things because I'm always eating pot.

01:53:16.000 That's what I said the other day on stage when you brought me up on stage the other night at the Ice House. 0.98

01:53:21.000 I was like, Duncan is the only guy that'll tell me, man, I fucking did acid. 0.96

01:53:25.000 I'm not... 0.94

01:53:25.000 I mean, I did MDMA. MDMA. I did ecstasy. 0.94

01:53:29.000 I'm not doing that anymore, man. 0.99

01:53:30.000 I'm fucking... 0.98

01:53:31.000 I haven't did anything for a while. 0.99

01:53:32.000 Just eating weed every day.

01:53:33.000 That's it.

01:53:34.000 Like... 0.96

01:53:35.000 You're like, I'm basically fucking almost sober. 0.95

01:53:39.000 I consider that. 0.91

01:53:40.000 I know this is going to seem like denial.

01:53:43.000 I'm sorry for those addicts out there.

01:53:45.000 Maybe I'm in denial.

01:53:46.000 But to me, it does feel like coffee.

01:53:48.000 Like, I place it in the same place I put coffee.

01:53:51.000 So it's not really, to me, like a...

01:53:53.000 It's like something that...

01:53:55.000 I don't find to be destructive to my life at all.

01:53:58.000 I think alcohol is the monster, and marijuana seems to just be a kind of...

01:54:03.000 Well, I'll do one better.

01:54:05.000 I worship coffee.

01:54:06.000 I worship it.

01:54:08.000 Coffee is a ritual.

01:54:09.000 I have a ritual when I write, and I have a ritual when I do podcasts.

01:54:13.000 And one of the big parts of my ritual is coffee.

01:54:17.000 Not like...

01:54:18.000 A monster energy drink.

01:54:19.000 I mean, I don't have anything wrong.

01:54:21.000 I don't not like Red Bulls. 0.99

01:54:23.000 They're fine.

01:54:23.000 If you just need a pick-me-up, I'll drink one.

01:54:26.000 Yeah.

01:54:26.000 You know, if I'm at the store and I know I'm tired and I have to drive home, I'll take a Red Bull.

01:54:29.000 Yes.

01:54:30.000 But a coffee is like a ritual.

01:54:31.000 I adore coffee.

01:54:33.000 I really do.

01:54:34.000 I love to get a nice warm cup of coffee and then I start writing.

01:54:39.000 And I do it when I do a podcast.

01:54:41.000 For me, the podcast doesn't seem like it starts until I take a sip of coffee.

01:54:45.000 So I love it.

01:54:46.000 I love coffee.

01:54:47.000 I like the feeling.

01:54:48.000 I like what it gives to me.

01:54:48.000 I like the way it tastes.

01:54:50.000 Yeah, I feel the same way about Pot.

01:54:51.000 Me too.

01:54:52.000 I love it.

01:54:52.000 Not only do I not think...

01:54:54.000 I absolutely don't think it's detrimental.

01:54:57.000 I adore it.

01:54:59.000 And I think it helps my life.

01:55:00.000 I adore it.

01:55:01.000 I don't have any negatives.

01:55:03.000 I've figured... 0.98

01:55:04.000 Me and Pot have a fucking super good relationship. 0.98

01:55:06.000 And sometimes it leaves me tired and I can't remember exactly what I just said. 0.97

01:55:11.000 But it provides me with so much inspiration and introspective thinking that the counter, like the payoff, is huge on the side of pot.

01:55:20.000 Huge! 1.00

01:55:21.000 You add to that, having a fucking hole in the universe in your goddamn house, get out of town, man! 1.00

01:55:29.000 That's what I'm saying! 1.00

01:55:30.000 I've been saying it forever!

01:55:31.000 What have I been telling you for years?

01:55:33.000 You have to get one! 1.00

01:55:35.000 God damn it, Duncan. 0.99

01:55:36.000 But yeah, you would say that to me when I was like... 0.99

01:55:39.000 You would say that to me when my car's about to get repossessed.

01:55:41.000 Like, I'll just get a float tank.

01:55:43.000 Okay, I'll...

01:55:43.000 Well, I told you, anytime you wanted, you could use mine.

01:55:45.000 I know, Joe.

01:55:45.000 You know that.

01:55:46.000 Yeah, of course.

01:55:47.000 Dude, you have the keys to my house.

01:55:49.000 You can come over at 3 o'clock in the morning and use my tank anytime you want.

01:55:51.000 You know that.

01:55:51.000 That's so cool, man.

01:55:52.000 Just don't wake my kids up, fucking weirdo. 0.99

01:55:54.000 Well, yeah, but think how weird that would be. 1.00

01:55:56.000 The weirdo come... 0.95

01:55:57.000 Daddy, the weirdo's here again to climb into your bathtub. 0.55

01:55:59.000 It's Uncle Duncan.

01:56:01.000 It's Uncle Duncan.

01:56:02.000 But man, yeah, it's a...

01:56:04.000 It's a beautiful thing.

01:56:05.000 It's a beautiful thing.

01:56:06.000 Well, I think they should have community centers that have them, man.

01:56:09.000 I mean, there's a lot of people that have apartments, and in their apartment, they have a stationary bike, or they have a treadmill.

01:56:13.000 They have a little small gym with a television set in there.

01:56:16.000 You want to have a nice apartment? 0.99

01:56:17.000 Have an apartment with a fucking float tank that people can use. 0.99

01:56:20.000 You have someone who maintains it. 0.99

01:56:21.000 People sign up for it.

01:56:22.000 Don't let just anybody use it.

01:56:23.000 Make sure that the guy who runs it's not a creeper. 0.80

01:56:26.000 He's not going to peek in on chicks while they're in there naked. 1.00

01:56:27.000 Put a lock on the door.

01:56:29.000 Make sure you, you know... 1.00

01:56:30.000 Some drunk dude's gonna shit in it. 1.00

01:56:32.000 There's no way around it. 1.00

01:56:33.000 Well, you'll know who did it.

01:56:34.000 They have to sign up.

01:56:35.000 Oh, right. 1.00

01:56:36.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00

01:56:37.000 We'll evict him. 1.00

01:56:38.000 You get evicted from the apartment complex. 0.99

01:56:40.000 Get crucified on top of the apartment complex. 0.93

01:56:42.000 How dare he. 1.00

01:56:42.000 Imagine if someone shit in that water. 1.00

01:56:44.000 It doesn't matter how many times they filter it. 1.00

01:56:45.000 You're not getting all the shit out. 0.99

01:56:46.000 No. 0.97

01:56:47.000 You have to take all the water out and clean the whole thing.

01:56:49.000 Start fresh. 1.00

01:56:49.000 You shit in that water, the next time you climb in, there's gonna be something in there that bites you. 1.00

01:56:53.000 What do you think the number is worldwide of people that have taken big shits in isolation tanks? 1.00

01:56:59.000 Thousands. 0.98

01:57:02.000 Imagine if there was a compilation video of every person who has ever taken a shit inside the isolation tank and you could just watch it happen in real time. 1.00

01:57:12.000 People are awful. 0.99

01:57:14.000 You would be insisting that people are awful.

01:57:16.000 And I think that's one of the real problems with judging the human beings as a race is that there's too many of us. 0.98

01:57:22.000 So if there's 7 billion people, while we're saying this, 50 dudes are shitting in tanks right now. 0.91

01:57:28.000 For sure, right? 0.66

01:57:30.000 Tanks aren't even that common.

01:57:32.000 There's not that many tanks in the world, but I would be willing to bet.

01:57:35.000 50?

01:57:36.000 Over the course of this podcast, I'll say over the course of this podcast, that's a conservative estimate. 1.00

01:57:41.000 Think of how many fucking idiots there are that just shit their pants. 1.00

01:57:43.000 How many people are there that are so stupid they just shit their pants all the time? 1.00

01:57:46.000 Well, shitting your pants is not necessarily a measurement of IQ. They shit their bed. 1.00

01:57:51.000 They, you know, when I was in... 1.00

01:57:53.000 When I was in...

01:57:54.000 I had a...

01:57:56.000 I had a girlfriend, I've told this story before, but it's very unfortunate. 1.00

01:57:59.000 And her roommate used to have anal sex with her boyfriend. 1.00

01:58:02.000 And she wrote a letter about it. 1.00

01:58:04.000 The reason why she does it, he's a little dick and it doesn't feel good unless he puts it in her ass. 1.00

01:58:08.000 It was very sobering for this poor gentleman who found this letter. 1.00

01:58:12.000 Or her diary or whatever. 1.00

01:58:14.000 But she shit the bed. 1.00

01:58:16.000 When they had anal sex and apparently it relaxed her sphincter to the point where she just relaxed in bed while sleeping and just shat in the bed. 1.00

01:58:25.000 Oh dear. 0.99

01:58:25.000 Yeah, and like the dude was just standing in the hallway. 0.99

01:58:28.000 Like I ran into him, like I came out of my girlfriend's bedroom and he was there in the hallway, it was hands out, like after she had just shit on him, he was like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:58:38.000 I'll never forget this poor sap. 1.00

01:58:43.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:58:44.000 Someone just shit on him because he was having anal sex with this girl. 1.00

01:58:49.000 So what I'm saying is that poor gal, with whatever damage she did to her butthole, she could probably shit the bed if she went to an isolation tank. 1.00

01:58:57.000 You know, if she wasn't paying attention, she got a little too relaxed and fell asleep in there. 1.00

01:59:00.000 You can shit your bed, you can shit an isolation tank. 1.00

01:59:03.000 Sure you can. 1.00

01:59:03.000 And people shit the bed. 1.00

01:59:05.000 Yeah, they do. 0.99

01:59:06.000 They just do.

01:59:07.000 Yeah, I mean, they do.

01:59:09.000 There's no way around it.

01:59:10.000 I guess I think of like if you were in there and like you just blasted some ketamine into your bloodstream or something and you were just really gone, then maybe your body would just evacuate its bowels because it wanted to, you know, your astral body is who knows where.

01:59:26.000 You're on Venus.

01:59:27.000 You're not even in the float tank. 0.97

01:59:29.000 You're just a monkey in there now.

01:59:31.000 Yeah, I would imagine that's definitely probably happened to somebody that took some drug. 0.94

01:59:35.000 Have you talked to Neil Brennan at all?

01:59:38.000 Do you know Neil?

01:59:39.000 I know Neil, but I haven't talked to him.

01:59:40.000 Wait, I've got to take a leak.

01:59:42.000 Please go ahead and do it.

01:59:43.000 Go ahead and do it.

01:59:43.000 And when you come back, I'll return to you.

01:59:46.000 It's customary with your priestly outfit.

01:59:49.000 When you return, I'll tell you about Neil Brennan taking ketamine for therapy.

01:59:52.000 Do you know about that?

01:59:54.000 Come back, young Jesus. 1.00

01:59:56.000 What are you, a bishop or some shit? 1.00

01:59:58.000 He's a bishop. 1.00

02:00:00.000 Duncan Trussell, a bishop.

02:00:02.000 If you have never listened to Duncan Trussell's podcast and you're tuning into this, maybe this is the first podcast you've ever listened to, the Duncan Trussell Family Hour is, for real, probably one of the best podcasts in the known universe.

02:00:14.000 And Duncan is an oddly articulate and very bizarre character that I don't know anybody like him. 0.70

02:00:20.000 You know, and he has a very interesting and unique way of looking at shit.

02:00:25.000 And one of the reasons why I like doing podcasts with him is because I feel like that when Duncan and I get together, we both pull some weird part out of each other. 0.99

02:00:35.000 That's what I felt like when we were doing that stupid sci-fi show, when we were talking to people about Bigfoot and shit.

02:00:42.000 But that's how I feel when I do any podcast with him. 0.99

02:00:44.000 He's just a very, very unusual dude. 0.96

02:00:46.000 And his stand-up is fucking hilarious. 0.80

02:00:48.000 And he will be with me at the Comedy Store this Friday night. 0.96

02:00:52.000 We're doing The Belly Room at 10 o'clock.

02:00:55.000 I don't even think the tickets are available yet.

02:00:57.000 But this Friday night at The Belly Room at 10 o'clock, it'll just be me and Duncan.

02:01:01.000 That's it.

02:01:02.000 And it's only like 70 tickets, so it sells out very quick.

02:01:06.000 So if you're interested, I'm doing Saturday night at the same time, too, at 10 o'clock.

02:01:11.000 So that's it. 0.99

02:01:13.000 Fuckers. 1.00

02:01:14.000 Duncan Trussell Family Hour is on iTunes. 1.00

02:01:17.000 He doesn't have any stand-up that you can buy, unfortunately. 0.99

02:01:20.000 And that's something I've been hounding Duncan for the longest fucking time while he enters his little girl bladder. 0.99

02:01:26.000 It's one thing I've learned about myself, young Jamie, from doing this podcast, that I have a manly bladder. 0.99

02:01:30.000 I can drink three, four cups of coffee and sit here for three fucking hours and not bitch out and make a mad run for the bathroom most days. 0.99

02:01:38.000 Most days. 0.99

02:01:39.000 But I've had some bad days.

02:01:41.000 I've had some days where I couldn't keep it together.

02:01:43.000 It's just a part of being a person. 0.95

02:01:45.000 So if you can, please give Duncan the hardest time possible about putting together a goddamn comedy special so you all can enjoy his stand-up as much as we do. 0.95

02:01:54.000 It's happening in the spring, brother! 0.96

02:01:54.000 Oh, praise Allah! 0.96

02:01:58.000 Praise Odin!

02:01:59.000 Praise Zeus!

02:02:01.000 Big tour, man.

02:02:02.000 Big tour.

02:02:02.000 It's happening.

02:02:03.000 I can't talk about it.

02:02:04.000 My amazing agent, Joe Schwartz, is putting it together.

02:02:07.000 It's a secret.

02:02:09.000 It's going to be good, though.

02:02:10.000 It's happening.

02:02:11.000 It is happening.

02:02:12.000 Dude, why aren't we doing some gigs together again?

02:02:14.000 We haven't done gigs.

02:02:15.000 Well, we're doing Friday night at the Comedy Store.

02:02:16.000 But we gotta do some gig gigs.

02:02:17.000 I know.

02:02:18.000 Let's go away from Los Angeles together, my friend. 1.00

02:02:20.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:02:20.000 Let's do it. 1.00

02:02:21.000 Let's travel.

02:02:21.000 Yeah.

02:02:22.000 Let's travel.

02:02:22.000 Love to.

02:02:23.000 We need to do something where we do a series of dates on the road.

02:02:29.000 You and I. This is what I'm thinking.

02:02:30.000 Go to these different towns and then go do cool shit in the town and film it. 0.99

02:02:35.000 Like, let's go to an ashram. 0.99

02:02:36.000 Let's take a yoga class together. 1.00

02:02:38.000 Let's do a bunch of shit. 1.00

02:02:40.000 Weird shit specific to the town. 1.00

02:02:41.000 Shit in a float tank. 1.00

02:02:43.000 Yeah, let's go to the Kentucky Derby. 0.99

02:02:45.000 I want to do the Kentucky Derby next year and do a stand-up show in town. 0.98

02:02:48.000 I want to know what the fuck that's all about. 0.97

02:02:50.000 Horse racing? 0.99

02:02:51.000 It's not even about the race. 1.00

02:02:52.000 It's about everybody getting fucked up. 0.99

02:02:54.000 That's what it's about. 0.99

02:02:56.000 Right.

02:02:56.000 My buddy Cameron Haynes went this year, and he's like, Jesus Christ.

02:03:00.000 He's like, it's just people just getting drunk.

02:03:02.000 Like, everywhere you go, everybody's just plowed drunk.

02:03:04.000 Oh, boy.

02:03:05.000 You know, Hunter Thompson, one of his early pieces of work that got him notoriety was, he did a bit on the Kentucky Derby.

02:03:13.000 The Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved.

02:03:15.000 And his story on the Kentucky Derby is fascinating because it starts out just describing the heinous people around him and then realizing you're one of those people.

02:03:25.000 At the end he realizes he's one of the monsters that he's been describing.

02:03:30.000 That's awesome.

02:03:31.000 But it's just one of those things.

02:03:32.000 It's been going on forever.

02:03:34.000 And it's connected to this ancient culture of riverboat gamblers.

02:03:40.000 That's what the Kentucky Derby is. 0.95

02:03:41.000 The ultimate gambler experience.

02:03:44.000 Drunken.

02:03:45.000 Excess.

02:03:46.000 It's like...

02:03:46.000 Mint juleps.

02:03:48.000 It's that.

02:03:49.000 It's getting hammered.

02:03:50.000 And it's horse races. 0.99

02:03:52.000 But it's it's like this it's like a social event where people go and have a great time and apparently the vibe there is incredible like it's like really fun like chaotic and people do just get fucking shit-faced shit-faced and I think if we went and got shit-faced with these people Yeah, 0.99

02:04:11.000 that could be super fun, man. 0.99

02:04:12.000 I mean, there's a lot of great places to go get shit-faced, though, right? 0.98

02:04:15.000 Right. 0.98

02:04:16.000 But I want to experience the Kentucky Derby.

02:04:17.000 The Kentucky Derby is something that I've heard of. 0.99

02:04:20.000 I don't know enough about to even, like, yeah, sure, I'll get shit-faced. 0.95

02:04:23.000 Why would we do that, man? 0.98

02:04:24.000 We could just go to Burning Man.

02:04:25.000 I was about to say that!

02:04:29.000 What's wrong with Burning Hand?

02:04:31.000 We're going to watch a bunch of horses gallop around alcoholics when you can go to the middle of the desert where they're shooting laser beams into space and giant squid tanks are rolling by shooting fire.

02:04:41.000 Or we could do both.

02:04:44.000 That's impossible.

02:04:45.000 It's not though.

02:04:46.000 That's impossible.

02:04:47.000 They're on two different dates.

02:04:48.000 No, I know I'm joking.

02:04:49.000 We can do both.

02:04:50.000 Yeah.

02:04:51.000 That's what we should have done for sci-fi instead of you and me looking for a non-existent unknown primate wandering through the woods of the Pacific Northwest.

02:04:59.000 We should have gone to raves.

02:05:01.000 We should have found real freaks.

02:05:02.000 I don't understand why, you know, I don't understand.

02:05:06.000 Yeah, you're right.

02:05:07.000 There's so many other ways to, like, analyze the universe.

02:05:09.000 Like, we're...

02:05:10.000 As far as science goes, or somebody's gonna do a scientific investigation of things, we're pretty far away from the ideal scientists.

02:05:20.000 Well, we weren't really doing science when we were looking for Bigfoot, though.

02:05:22.000 That's true. 0.96

02:05:23.000 We're bullshit detecting. 0.81

02:05:24.000 Were you really? 0.75

02:05:24.000 No, but I... You know what I mean, man? 0.75

02:05:27.000 I think that it's like...

02:05:27.000 What ends up happening...

02:05:29.000 Because TV shows have gotta, like...

02:05:32.000 You gotta wrap everything up.

02:05:33.000 You gotta have a point.

02:05:34.000 You gotta have a thing.

02:05:35.000 You can't do what a podcast does, which is just whatever you want.

02:05:38.000 Why can't they do that?

02:05:39.000 I don't know.

02:05:41.000 I don't know.

02:05:42.000 I guess.

02:05:42.000 I don't know.

02:05:43.000 Why can't they have a late night show?

02:05:45.000 Why don't they have a late night show after this night show's over that just goes on for like three hours?

02:05:50.000 I don't know.

02:05:51.000 It's just two dudes talking.

02:05:54.000 Or whatever.

02:05:54.000 Bringing a guest and talk.

02:05:56.000 No band. 1.00

02:05:56.000 You don't need a fucking band. 1.00

02:05:57.000 Come on. 1.00

02:05:58.000 What are you, a baby?

02:05:58.000 I need to play music for you.

02:06:01.000 I think people would take great comfort in that.

02:06:03.000 But the problem is, you can't do it because of the way TV works.

02:06:07.000 Every single thing that anybody says on TV has got to go through a filter.

02:06:12.000 And that's the, what do you call it, the regulatory bureau that makes sure people say things that aren't, like...

02:06:21.000 Curse words or what's that called?

02:06:23.000 There's a name for it.

02:06:24.000 Standards and Practices.

02:06:26.000 So everything has to run through that.

02:06:27.000 So I think that the idea of having...

02:06:30.000 You could do it on HBO, I guess.

02:06:31.000 You'd have to have it on a non-public station.

02:06:37.000 It needs to be a subscription TV station.

02:06:39.000 You could probably pull that off, but you can't do it on NBC. You can't have people talk for three hours because inevitably somebody's going to start Really saying the truth, or they're going to start saying a truth that doesn't fit in with selling cell phones en masse, and that's going to be, they're not going to like that.

02:06:55.000 Right, right, right.

02:06:55.000 You know, when you do stand-up on those shows, you've got to show them your set, right?

02:06:59.000 They analyze every line, every sentence, every word gets analyzed.

02:07:04.000 Yeah, you have to show them a written transcript of things you're going to say.

02:07:08.000 Can you imagine if we tried to show a network this transcript of what we talked about here today?

02:07:13.000 I imagine that we would get over 7,000 pages of notes back.

02:07:20.000 I bet the notes that we got would be 500 times longer than the episode itself.

02:07:25.000 Did I ever tell you that my friend Amir was a writer on the early, early, early days of Conan?

02:07:31.000 No.

02:07:32.000 A lot of comics wrote for Conan in the early, early days.

02:07:35.000 And my friend Amir, Amir Golan, his name was James Lemur.

02:07:39.000 That was his stage name.

02:07:40.000 Really funny dude from Boston.

02:07:42.000 And so I was there for the early, early filmings.

02:07:46.000 When I was like, you know...

02:07:47.000 I guess I was kind of working, maybe.

02:07:50.000 Just starting to work.

02:07:51.000 I didn't have any money.

02:07:52.000 I was a total scrub.

02:07:53.000 But I was his friend, so I went to watch.

02:07:56.000 All the Andy Richter, Conan O'Brien interactions were scripted.

02:07:59.000 100% scripted.

02:08:00.000 They had cue cards above them.

02:08:02.000 So they weren't talking.

02:08:04.000 They were fake talking.

02:08:05.000 They were fake talking. 0.99

02:08:06.000 Like, if you and I were going to talk about this right now, they would have all this shit that I was going to say already written out. 0.99

02:08:14.000 Right. 0.98

02:08:15.000 And it was a sign behind each other.

02:08:17.000 Like, a sign behind Andy and a guy holding a sign behind Conan.

02:08:20.000 Because we're talking about, like, 1990 or some shit.

02:08:22.000 Right. 0.83

02:08:23.000 When did the Conan O'Brien show start?

02:08:24.000 What year did the Conan O'Brien show start?

02:08:26.000 I'm gonna say like 91 or 92. Like somewhere around there.

02:08:30.000 That's if I had a guess.

02:08:31.000 Yeah.

02:08:31.000 At the latest I could think it would be like 93. But it was weird.

02:08:35.000 Weird.

02:08:36.000 It's real weird.

02:08:37.000 It's like you're watching Pirates of the Caribbean or something.

02:08:40.000 You're watching a play.

02:08:41.000 Yeah.

02:08:42.000 It's so strange.

02:08:43.000 But they don't do that anymore.

02:08:44.000 Thank God.

02:08:45.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:08:45.000 But I mean he had to go to fucking TBS to probably get rid of that. 0.98

02:08:48.000 93. 93. There we go. 0.98

02:08:49.000 That was pretty close.

02:08:50.000 Yeah, I don't get that, man.

02:08:52.000 I can't wait for that to change.

02:08:55.000 TV's going to get so much better.

02:08:56.000 Well, they don't do that anymore.

02:08:57.000 Nobody does that.

02:08:59.000 They did that because he was a writer.

02:09:00.000 They did that because he was a writer that really didn't have a performance background.

02:09:03.000 And all of a sudden, he was hosting this late-night talk show because he was so funny.

02:09:08.000 Because in writers' rooms, Conan O'Brien would just smash.

02:09:11.000 He was the guy. 0.99

02:09:12.000 He was so fucking funny, and his jokes were so good that in writers' rooms, they were like, Jesus Christ, you should be a fucking comic. 0.99

02:09:19.000 You should be the host of a show. 0.98

02:09:21.000 And then the next thing you know, a bunch of people got behind him, and they said, listen, we're going to bankroll him and have him be the guy.

02:09:26.000 And once he loosened up and got used to the role, he became one of a lot of people's favorite.

02:09:34.000 But watching the early show and watching them do it with a script, it was very enlightening to me.

02:09:40.000 Can you do this as a late night show?

02:09:42.000 I'm sure you've gotten, someone must have come to you by now.

02:09:46.000 This is an early morning show.

02:09:47.000 It's a late night show.

02:09:48.000 It's a mid-afternoon show.

02:09:49.000 It's available whenever you want it.

02:09:51.000 It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and get it on your iPhone.

02:09:54.000 I know, but do you ever think about, like, how often do you think about translating it to the TV environment or some version of it?

02:10:02.000 Almost never.

02:10:03.000 Almost never.

02:10:04.000 You must get pitched it all the time, though.

02:10:06.000 No, I don't.

02:10:06.000 No.

02:10:07.000 I don't even take pitches.

02:10:11.000 I don't want to do anything other than what I'm doing right now.

02:10:13.000 I've thought about it before, and the experience of doing the Spike TV thing, the sci-fi thing rather, what was fun was doing it with you.

02:10:20.000 That's what was fun.

02:10:21.000 That was what was fun.

02:10:22.000 But it's not fun dealing with all those other people.

02:10:25.000 And the people that we worked with, all the producers on that side were great, and a lot of people on the network side were great, but there were so many voices.

02:10:31.000 It wasn't even that they were bad folks.

02:10:33.000 You're dealing with too many people, isn't it?

02:10:35.000 Everybody's got discrepancies, and I think it should go like this, and maybe you should try that, or maybe you can come in here, maybe he could dress different, maybe you could hold that, or maybe you could stand there. 0.99

02:10:43.000 Like, fuck, man, there's too many of you talking. 0.95

02:10:46.000 Like, look, we're trying to make the best thing, but you're not the person that's gonna, like, figure me out, okay? 1.00

02:10:52.000 I've got a good sense of who I am and if you want me to wear a suit and tie and you think it's gonna change if I you know come in on a parachute or if I Step out of a fucking flaming hula hoop this is we're talking crazy, right?

02:11:05.000 I don't want to do that like if I had it if I want to sit down with some comedy writers and Bounce around some ideas.

02:11:10.000 I don't want to hear too many people's voices right and that I mean it's their prerogative I mean if you're if you're on a television show and They're paying for it.

02:11:17.000 Somebody has to pay for it.

02:11:18.000 Right, and it's not you.

02:11:19.000 So it's their prerogative to do that.

02:11:20.000 But I don't want to be, I just don't think that I operate the best doing that.

02:11:23.000 Right.

02:11:24.000 I don't think this podcast would have ever occurred if I had a boss.

02:11:27.000 It would have never happened.

02:11:28.000 No. 0.98

02:11:28.000 And most of this shit I would have never said, and I would have to debate who the guests were. 0.98

02:11:32.000 The idea of debating who the guests are, I just want to throw up. 0.98

02:11:37.000 The idea of having to convince someone that Joey Diaz should be on Tuesday.

02:11:41.000 Right.

02:11:41.000 I've got to convince them.

02:11:42.000 I know Joey's been on two months ago, but it doesn't matter. 0.93

02:11:45.000 You need a black eye. 1.00

02:11:47.000 You need a black woman. 1.00

02:11:48.000 That's what you need on your podcast. 0.99

02:11:49.000 A black woman. 1.00

02:11:49.000 We're looking at your diversity statistics. 1.00

02:11:53.000 I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to do. 0.97

02:11:55.000 I'm going to do whatever I want to do. 0.99

02:11:57.000 And the only way to do whatever you want to do is to do your own thing.

02:11:59.000 As soon as you start doing it on television, you're not doing whatever you want to do.

02:12:02.000 Unless you become wild. 0.99

02:12:04.000 Wildly successful like South Park to the point where they just leave you the fuck alone. 0.97

02:12:08.000 And new regimes come and go while you're still the king. 0.99

02:12:11.000 They don't say shit to Daniel Tosh. 1.00

02:12:14.000 Everybody just shuts the fuck up and leaves him alone. 0.99

02:12:17.000 You don't want to fuck that up. 0.99

02:12:18.000 You got a monolithic show.

02:12:20.000 Look at South Park.

02:12:21.000 It's been going on forever.

02:12:22.000 And it's just as funny now as it's ever been. 1.00

02:12:24.000 Just stay the fuck away from them. 1.00

02:12:26.000 Don't talk to them. 0.99

02:12:26.000 Don't ruin anything. 0.99

02:12:27.000 Are there any examples of a show where they let them do whatever they wanted and the show failed because of it?

02:12:35.000 I'm sure.

02:12:35.000 I'm sure there have been.

02:12:36.000 I wonder what it is.

02:12:37.000 I don't know.

02:12:38.000 There's got to be.

02:12:38.000 You generally always hear with like Mr. Show or like a lot of the great sketch groups or like any great show.

02:12:45.000 One thing you always hear is like they mostly just let us do what we wanted.

02:12:48.000 Right.

02:12:49.000 And it's when the opposite effect happens.

02:12:52.000 Well, that's what the Chappelle show.

02:12:54.000 That's what broke the Chappelle show up. 1.00

02:12:56.000 Dave Chappelle was like, fuck this. 0.99

02:12:58.000 There's too many people telling him what to do. 0.99

02:13:00.000 Saying them that he couldn't say certain things.

02:13:03.000 There was a lot of money on the line for that show.

02:13:07.000 He's talked about it. 0.54

02:13:09.000 He's talked about they wouldn't let him say the word nigger.

02:13:11.000 There was a real concern with him continuing to say that word. 0.97

02:13:14.000 That's crazy.

02:13:16.000 And they were saying that if he didn't say, they could make more money in advertising.

02:13:19.000 I would love to really sit down with him and find out what was the feeling when all that was happening.

02:13:26.000 What was the feeling of being connected to this cultural monster? 0.72

02:13:29.000 Must have been rage.

02:13:31.000 I was on it twice.

02:13:32.000 But I didn't, you know, I didn't really talk to him about it.

02:13:35.000 But in the time, it was just like, wow, this is great.

02:13:37.000 Dave's got this awesome show that's hilarious. 1.00

02:13:39.000 Holy shit, fuck, I'd love to be on it. 1.00

02:13:41.000 It was one of those things. 1.00

02:13:42.000 It wasn't like, what is this like for you?

02:13:44.000 Like now, having the podcast, I'd be like, what is the feeling of everywhere you go... 0.99

02:13:50.000 I'm Rick James, bitch! 1.00

02:13:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:13:52.000 You know, did that fuck with you? 1.00

02:13:54.000 Because I know people used to heckle him with that, and it was like a real problem. 1.00

02:13:57.000 Right.

02:13:57.000 Like, people would heckle, they would yell that out.

02:13:59.000 You know how everybody was yelling out, I'm Rick James, bitch? 0.99

02:14:02.000 Yep. 1.00

02:14:02.000 It was ridiculous. 1.00

02:14:03.000 It got to the point where they would yell that out, and he couldn't even continue his show. 1.00

02:14:08.000 Because, like, dumb white kids would be yelling out, I'm Rick James, bitch! 1.00

02:14:11.000 That's so bad. 1.00

02:14:13.000 How fucked up is that? 0.99

02:14:14.000 But, obviously, he made it through it, but the point being... 0.99

02:14:18.000 What a weird experience that must have been, just to be a human being, to be at the tip of the comedy spear like that for a while, and then have a bunch of people fuck with it.

02:14:28.000 Have a bunch of people just, well, David, you need to listen to me, David! 0.95

02:14:32.000 David!

02:14:33.000 David!

02:14:34.000 Listen to me!

02:14:36.000 Mr. Chappelle, think about all the money you're leaving on the table!

02:14:40.000 How many people telling him what words to use and not to say that, don't be yourself.

02:14:44.000 No, no, no.

02:14:45.000 We need you to be a little better packaged.

02:14:47.000 We're trying to make money here, David.

02:14:49.000 David, we're trying to make money.

02:14:51.000 And so he walked away like a gangster from some, like, 50 million dollar deal.

02:14:56.000 That's right.

02:14:57.000 He's like, I'm good.

02:14:58.000 See ya.

02:14:59.000 Integrity.

02:14:59.000 That guy's got serious integrity, man.

02:15:01.000 Through his, yeah, I mean, through his pores.

02:15:04.000 How many people would, there's a lot of people who would not walk away.

02:15:07.000 You, me.

02:15:09.000 Yeah.

02:15:11.000 I would be like, the N-word?

02:15:13.000 It's not important.

02:15:14.000 You know, I think Bill Cosby once said...

02:15:17.000 As I was saying that, I'm like, yeah, I was thinking like, and I definitely wanted it.

02:15:23.000 Like, for a second, I was thinking, for a second, I was thinking of like, other people in my mind, I'm going to be like, yeah, they definitely wouldn't walk away. 0.99

02:15:30.000 And then I'm like, you judgmental shit. 1.00

02:15:33.000 You are fucking on the top of the pole of people who not walk away, you ass. 1.00

02:15:39.000 Look, I hosted Fear Factor. 1.00

02:15:41.000 Sure, I'll change my name.

02:15:43.000 What'd you want to call me?

02:15:45.000 Yeah, sure.

02:15:46.000 Senior Poopypants?

02:15:47.000 I'll be Senior Poopypants.

02:15:48.000 Oh, yeah.

02:15:49.000 Sure, I'll go in the float tank. 1.00

02:15:50.000 Someone just shit in it. 0.99

02:15:51.000 No problem, man. 1.00

02:15:51.000 It's me, Senior Poopypants, for Citibank MasterCard. 1.00

02:15:56.000 Citibank MasterCard is the best MasterCard.

02:15:58.000 It's the one Senior Poopypants uses.

02:16:01.000 Why not?

02:16:01.000 But, hey, wasn't Chappelle kind of like...

02:16:04.000 Wasn't...

02:16:06.000 Isn't he...

02:16:07.000 I don't know if he still is, but isn't he kind of like an Illuminati believer?

02:16:09.000 Like, aren't there interviews with him where he kind of talks about...

02:16:12.000 Well, look, I don't know his...

02:16:15.000 I haven't had these conversations with him personally, so I don't know the full extent of his beliefs. 0.98

02:16:21.000 But he believes in some shit that's real, like the Bilderberg Group. 0.92

02:16:26.000 The fact that these industrials really do get together and meet and try to figure out how to continue running the world the way it's run right now because they're extracting massive amounts of money from it. 0.98

02:16:36.000 I mean, that's real.

02:16:37.000 We know that the Bilderberg Group, those are real meetings.

02:16:41.000 We know that the Federal Bank, okay?

02:16:44.000 We know how that works.

02:16:46.000 We know that the Federal Bank isn't bank.

02:16:48.000 It's not federal.

02:16:50.000 It's a privately owned company. 0.97

02:16:52.000 We know that international banks And as well as the banks in this country have all done all sorts of horrible shit involving laundering money and gotten little slaps on the wrist and little baby fines. 0.99

02:17:05.000 And when they're about to fall apart, our own tax dollars are used to step in and save these fuckheads. 0.99

02:17:13.000 We all know all that. 1.00

02:17:15.000 Yep.

02:17:15.000 We all know all that.

02:17:16.000 We just sort of accept it.

02:17:18.000 Yeah.

02:17:19.000 Kennedy shot in broad daylight.

02:17:23.000 There's so much of what it is to be a person that runs a government that no one other than that person or those people is ever going to understand.

02:17:33.000 Right.

02:17:34.000 I think it's probably like a helpless position where you realize once you get there, you're like, oh, God, nobody does this right.

02:17:40.000 It can't be done right.

02:17:41.000 Right.

02:17:42.000 Literally can't be done.

02:17:43.000 I'm going to try to do my best to get some health care pushed through, some other things, maybe gay marriage. 1.00

02:17:49.000 Yeah.

02:17:49.000 Try to get gay marriage on the books.

02:17:51.000 Fuck yeah, man. 1.00

02:17:52.000 That guy's having a great week. 1.00

02:17:54.000 That guy's having a great week.

02:17:55.000 He really is.

02:17:56.000 Yeah, you know, yeah, I don't know.

02:17:59.000 We don't know.

02:18:00.000 Like, that is the belief that the president is a kind of hapless victim that gets pulled into a web of darkness and does the best that he can do is certainly more comforting than the other version of the story, which is that it's just somebody,

02:18:15.000 it's a narcissist who tricked themselves into thinking there was some capitalist Jesus in this They're gonna walk across the stage of history and create incredible changes for the better in the world while hoping to God that the people you're creating the changes for will forget about the countless children you've transformed into hamburger meat from dropping bombs out of drones on top of them accidentally.

02:18:39.000 And we do, because maybe it is a game, you start thinking, this is like a Game of Thrones-style universe, where every decision that you make, or 5% of the decisions you make are going to result in someone dying and someone not dying, and you're forced into the predicament of saying,

02:18:55.000 well, I guess if I have to pick between dying and not dying, I'm going to pick people from the country I'm currently the president of.

02:19:02.000 Over the people from the country I'm not the president of. 1.00

02:19:04.000 That's gonna be the decision I have to make, because that's the oaths that I've sworn. 0.99

02:19:10.000 So yeah, from time to time I'm gonna, I'm gonna explode some fucking kids. 0.99

02:19:14.000 And I'm also gonna get gay marriage legalized. 0.99

02:19:17.000 And I'm also gonna help ease the prohibition on marijuana. 0.65

02:19:21.000 And then once in a while, I will completely destroy a village accidentally. 1.00

02:19:31.000 Fuck that job, indeed. 1.00

02:19:35.000 The job's insane. 1.00

02:19:37.000 It's insane.

02:19:38.000 It's more insane than being a cop, and being a cop's insane. 0.52

02:19:41.000 It's all insane.

02:19:42.000 Well, yeah.

02:19:43.000 A lot of jobs are insane. 0.97

02:19:44.000 But you gotta suck it back down to your job, like where you're at, man. 0.95

02:19:47.000 I mean, that's the thing. 0.99

02:19:48.000 Like, my brain will go in those directions so much, you know.

02:19:53.000 Did you see Obama or hear Obama on Marin?

02:19:55.000 I absolutely did.

02:19:57.000 I didn't hear it yet.

02:19:58.000 It was good.

02:19:59.000 Oh, that's a good interview, man.

02:20:00.000 He did a great job, man.

02:20:01.000 That was super cool.

02:20:02.000 One of my favorite part of the interview... 0.96

02:20:05.000 One thing that happened, I heard Maren on a bunch of interviews afterwards, because everybody's like, what the fuck is that like to get to, you know, interview the president? 0.63

02:20:13.000 And he was remarking on how Obama put him at ease. 0.89

02:20:17.000 Like, how Obama was really good at putting him at ease.

02:20:19.000 Like, it's his podcast, but Obama's just this master of, like, getting him to relax enough so that he could do the interview and not be nervous. 0.98

02:20:26.000 Because you could hear him at the beginning, just like most people, he sounded a little nervous, as you should be as the fucking president. 0.96

02:20:33.000 There's Secret Service. 1.00

02:20:35.000 All over your goddamn house. 0.99

02:20:36.000 They had to block the window out with garbage bags because there was a sight line where there could have been a sniper on a roof. 1.00

02:20:44.000 There's a sniper on the roof of his fucking house, man. 0.99

02:20:47.000 In his intro, he's like, there's a sniper on my roof. 1.00

02:20:50.000 My neighbors hate me.

02:20:51.000 They've shut off the whole street.

02:20:53.000 They came to his house.

02:20:55.000 It came.

02:20:55.000 Why did he do it at his house?

02:20:57.000 Why didn't he just do it at a place where they could secure it better?

02:20:59.000 It's a badass decision.

02:21:02.000 It is badass.

02:21:03.000 They must have been like, you know that they were like, do we have to do it at your house? 0.99

02:21:06.000 And he must have been like, we're gonna do it at my fucking house. 0.99

02:21:09.000 He did it. 1.00

02:21:10.000 He wore his flannel.

02:21:11.000 That was another badass decision. 0.99

02:21:13.000 Marc Maron wore his fucking flannel in front of the President of the United States. 0.99

02:21:16.000 No suit, no change of attire. 0.99

02:21:19.000 That is his attire though.

02:21:20.000 That's his outfit, much like you're a bishop and I'm a NASA guy.

02:21:22.000 That's right.

02:21:24.000 Think about what you said.

02:21:26.000 He wore his flannel.

02:21:27.000 So he put on his outfit. 0.99

02:21:29.000 He didn't wear like a Grateful Dead t-shirt or a fucking wife beard. 0.99

02:21:32.000 But a lot of people, they're like, I'm in the presence of the president. 0.99

02:21:35.000 I'm going to wear this tuxedo or whatever.

02:21:37.000 He dresses in his normal attire.

02:21:38.000 That was pretty cool.

02:21:40.000 And then the interview itself was really great.

02:21:43.000 It was like Obama was very funny and there were great funny moments.

02:21:48.000 One of my favorite lines in the interview was...

02:21:53.000 Obama mentions, like, Marc Maron mentions black helicopters.

02:21:57.000 And he's like, but there's no black helicopters, right?

02:21:59.000 And Obama's like, there are black helicopters.

02:22:02.000 They just are in other countries more than we use them here.

02:22:06.000 But he did say there are black helicopters.

02:22:07.000 And everybody knows that.

02:22:09.000 I know, but it was a funny thing for the president to hear it out of the president's mouth in a kind of funny way. 0.86

02:22:15.000 But, again, man, you know, outside of how incredibly charismatic, affable, and how grateful I am to a lot of the shit the Obama administration has done, healthcare, and I know a lot of people out there fucking hate what he's done, but as somebody who has had cancer, knowing that if I wanted to get insurance,

02:22:32.000 if my insurance lapsed or something, they're not going to do what they usually do, which is a... 0.97

02:22:38.000 They would investigate you before you could get insurance for days and days and days They would investigate you to find out if you have previous health conditions and you couldn't get insurance You'd have to like you could die or you get shitty health care It's cool to know that a lot of people don't have to deal with that shit. 0.62

02:22:53.000 I think it's cool I know it's not a perfect system and from a libertarian perspective I know a lot of you probably have good reasons to really hate it But I think there's a lot of good reasons to not hate it too. 0.97

02:23:03.000 So I'm grateful for that marijuana seems to be Becoming legal during his administration, even though his administration has done a lot of shit to obstruct research on marijuana.

02:23:14.000 Things seem to be changing. 0.98

02:23:16.000 Gay marriage is now legal.

02:23:17.000 That's under his administration.

02:23:19.000 What about the whistleblower stuff? 1.00

02:23:21.000 That's shit! 1.00

02:23:22.000 See, that's the shit that bugs me, man. 1.00

02:23:24.000 Did Maren ask him about that? 1.00

02:23:25.000 No, I don't think so.

02:23:27.000 I didn't.

02:23:27.000 I actually had to.

02:23:28.000 I didn't.

02:23:28.000 I was listening to it.

02:23:30.000 Well, I'll have to listen to it to see if he did, because that's a super important subject.

02:23:35.000 And the idea that someone who's doing what they think is the right thing for humanity by expressing they have a huge issue with the legality of certain actions that are commonplace. 0.99

02:23:47.000 It's fucked. 0.98

02:23:48.000 I mean, he's seeing these things happen on a daily basis, and he thinks they're unconstitutional. 1.00

02:23:53.000 And now he's hiding in Russia.

02:23:55.000 Man, how crazy is that? 0.99

02:23:58.000 To me, this is where you get into this problem with presidents where they kind of remind you of like, oh, fucking Uncle Jack. 0.99

02:24:06.000 What a cool guy, right? 0.98

02:24:08.000 He's a super sweet guy.

02:24:09.000 He's really awesome.

02:24:10.000 He's so fun.

02:24:11.000 The kids really love him.

02:24:13.000 Everybody likes Uncle Jack.

02:24:17.000 He's a carjacker. 0.99

02:24:18.000 Either that or he's like molesting someone. 0.98

02:24:21.000 And you're supposed to ignore the fact. 0.99

02:24:23.000 This is in families where I actually was listening to this great documentary on NPR about the phenomena of why That kind of shit is sexual abuse will happen in a family and keep happening in a family because to acknowledge it is to implode the family. 0.99

02:24:41.000 To acknowledge it is to... 0.99

02:24:43.000 that family is done.

02:24:44.000 And it happened...

02:24:45.000 this is when those...

02:24:46.000 I don't even know...

02:24:47.000 I wasn't following the newest thing that happened with that weird religious group of people where there was sexual abuse that happened.

02:24:54.000 I can't even remember their names.

02:24:55.000 It's in relation to that, but...

02:24:56.000 The Dugars?

02:24:56.000 The Dugars, right?

02:24:58.000 Duggers? 1.00

02:24:58.000 The Duggers. 1.00

02:24:59.000 So in a family, if you admit that this is happening, father, mother, uncle, whoever is doing this thing, you will transform the terrain of that family permanently, right?

02:25:10.000 So in the same way with a president...

02:25:13.000 You know, we're almost being asked to do the same exact thing, which is, like, take the good, he makes great hamburgers, he gives the kid candy, he's, like, really fun, he's got a slip and slide, but for God's sake, never mention the time two years ago when you were standing behind the tool shed, 1.00

02:25:32.000 he slid his finger into your asshole, because if you do that, it's gonna fucking ruin our family! 1.00

02:25:38.000 In the same way, with, like, With Obama, man, you're not supposed... 1.00

02:25:44.000 You just are like, alright, just ignore the fact that right now we're dealing with for-profit prisons. 0.96

02:25:52.000 One of the greatest heroes of our time, Snowden, a real patriot, is having to hide in fucking Russia right now.

02:26:00.000 We're supposed to ignore the fact, even if Obama can't change it, Can he come out at a press conference and say, I support and endorse what Snowden did? 0.86

02:26:10.000 But he can't say that.

02:26:11.000 Why? 0.97

02:26:12.000 Because then people will be able to just hack into anything they want and take information that the government has and distribute it all around the world and it'll fuck up all sorts of counter-terrorism activities they're doing, fuck up all sorts of surveillance that they've got going on with real questionable people that might be some fucking ISIS character.

02:26:30.000 Yeah, but didn't, I mean, the whole, you gotta, you're supposed to, like, I mean, God.

02:26:35.000 Playing devil's advocate, buddy.

02:26:36.000 I know you are, but, and you literally are playing devil's advocate, but I don't mean to, I don't mean to, like, get all constitutional and everything, but isn't the point of the president to uphold the constitution?

02:26:48.000 Yes, yes.

02:26:49.000 But I don't think the Constitution existed when it was created with the understanding of the Internet, with the understanding of the distribution of information, with the understanding of covert intelligence, with the understanding of terrorism, with the understanding of a lot of things. 0.93

02:27:03.000 I think that what was a real problem was that, first of all, when he did tell everybody that the NSA is spying on every fucking American on the planet, they lied. 0.95

02:27:15.000 That's bad. 0.99

02:27:16.000 That's a huge problem.

02:27:17.000 That's one problem.

02:27:19.000 And second of all, there's no rational justification.

02:27:21.000 There was no significant number of terrorism events.

02:27:24.000 They've stopped it while compromising the privacy of everybody.

02:27:29.000 Then they started talking about how it was just metadata, and that wasn't true either.

02:27:33.000 It's not just metadata. 0.76

02:27:34.000 People were going into the emails of their ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends and reading their shit and downloading pictures from their computers. 0.98

02:27:43.000 They're doing whatever the fuck they wanted to do and they can do whatever the fuck they want to do because they have this autonomy. 0.99

02:27:48.000 They have this power working for the NSA. But what he was saying was like, he was like, I didn't even graduate from college. 0.99

02:27:53.000 He goes, and I have access to all this stuff.

02:27:55.000 And I'm just a normal person.

02:27:56.000 I'm around a bunch of other people.

02:27:57.000 And I got this information.

02:27:59.000 I got this information out to people.

02:28:01.000 What's to stop all these other people from taking information?

02:28:04.000 What's to stop them from sharing it with each other and passing it back and forth?

02:28:08.000 Ugh.

02:28:09.000 Nothing.

02:28:10.000 Obviously, if he was able to leak as much as he leaked, what safeguards were there in place for people's privacy?

02:28:17.000 Right.

02:28:17.000 Probably very little.

02:28:18.000 And whether or not you're doing anything wrong, whether or not you need to worry about it, that's not the argument.

02:28:24.000 The argument is it fundamentally changes the relationship that you have with another person.

02:28:28.000 The same way being a cop changes the relationship when you're talking to someone that you think is committing a crime.

02:28:32.000 Right.

02:28:33.000 All of a sudden you have power over that person's information.

02:28:36.000 They don't have any over you. 1.00

02:28:38.000 They can say, sit down, put your fucking hands over your head. 1.00

02:28:41.000 You can be like, no, fuck you. 1.00

02:28:43.000 You sit down, stupid. 1.00

02:28:44.000 With your fucking tumble and your roll with your stupid uniform on. 1.00

02:28:47.000 Don't put a pointed gun at me. 1.00

02:28:49.000 You need to sit down because you're pointing a gun at me. 1.00

02:28:51.000 You're an asshole. 1.00

02:28:52.000 You need to put your hands behind your back because I'm going to handcuff you because I don't trust you pointing a gun at me. 1.00

02:28:57.000 I pay your bills, dude.

02:28:58.000 I pay your bills and you're pointing a gun at me. 0.64

02:29:00.000 Or my daughter.

02:29:01.000 Right, but no one is going to accept that.

02:29:02.000 No one's going to accept that.

02:29:03.000 You're not going to accept that because a cop thinks he's a cop.

02:29:06.000 And it's similar in a lot of ways.

02:29:08.000 It's similar.

02:29:09.000 The idea that someone has access to Duncan Trussell's email, but you don't have access to theirs.

02:29:13.000 You don't even know they're checking in on you.

02:29:15.000 They have power over you. 0.99

02:29:17.000 They're observing you, making sure you don't fuck up. 0.99

02:29:19.000 Guess what? 0.99

02:29:20.000 Just like how when you're talking about those experiments that they do on subatomic particles and waves and other quantum shit, where the observer changes the effect.

02:29:29.000 Guess what? 0.99

02:29:30.000 When you fucking follow someone around and deserve the shit out of them, it changes them. 1.00

02:29:34.000 That's right. 1.00

02:29:35.000 It changes them similar to that stupid double-blind, double-slit experiment. 1.00

02:29:40.000 Right. 1.00

02:29:40.000 It's a wave and it's a particle. 1.00

02:29:42.000 You're innocent, but you're also a criminal.

02:29:44.000 They're constantly following you, trying to, like, yeah, it changes you. 0.99

02:29:48.000 It fucking changes the way you feel. 0.99

02:29:50.000 If someone's hounding you and fucking with you, it changes you. 1.00

02:29:53.000 Yeah, man. 0.99

02:29:57.000 It's such a confusing thing. 0.87

02:30:01.000 I hear such an affable, cool guy who's done some really great things, and to know that this other shit is going on, it's just kind of sad, man. 0.55

02:30:10.000 It'd be so beautiful if... 0.96

02:30:13.000 He had actually shut down Guantanamo. 0.99

02:30:16.000 Like, the stuff coming back about how they're treating those poor bastards like foie gras, you know? 0.99

02:30:22.000 They're just, like, force-feeding them even though they want to die, so they're not even letting them die. 0.98

02:30:27.000 They're keeping them alive, like something from the Hellraiser dimension, just shoving tubes into their throat and putting protein gel into their bellies.

02:30:35.000 And a lot of these guys, I'm sure some of them are not great people, but I think a lot of them are probably, they haven't even been given a trial, you know?

02:30:43.000 There's a lot of them that got interested in alternative ways to govern and live lives and alternative philosophies and religions and alternative ideologies and maybe even militant ideologies that were curious about.

02:30:58.000 It doesn't mean that they've committed any crimes.

02:31:00.000 It doesn't mean that they've...

02:31:01.000 I mean, they might be, but they might not be.

02:31:03.000 But the idea that all you have to do is just be interested in these things and they can lock you up.

02:31:09.000 There's a thought crime aspect to that that's really scary.

02:31:12.000 The thing is, God, this sounds so cliché, but you've got to hold your leaders accountable.

02:31:16.000 You must hold leaders accountable.

02:31:18.000 And we haven't been doing it.

02:31:19.000 It doesn't happen.

02:31:20.000 And because it doesn't happen, they keep taking more liberties.

02:31:24.000 And the problem is we don't know how to hold our leaders accountable because they're in charge of everything.

02:31:29.000 So that's the predicament.

02:31:30.000 Outside of holding them accountable by voting, that's one way to do it.

02:31:35.000 It's a really confusing, you know, again and again you hear the term war criminal thrown in the direction of the Bush administration, and, you know, I don't know if it's true or not, but I know there's never going to be a trial.

02:31:47.000 I know that there's never going to be anything even close to a real investigation into why we went to war there and what we did while we were there.

02:31:58.000 All that shit just kind of gets swept down the river of history and you're invited to ignore it and look in the direction of the progressive things that are happening and they're great. 0.95

02:32:09.000 But then because great things are happening does not mean that you ignore all the other dark shit that's happening and it doesn't mean that you're being a conspiracy theorist or negative or pessimistic because you won't let go of the fact that The last few presidents have maybe done some shit that seems to go directly against the rules that were written down in whatever this current game of being an American is. 0.99

02:32:37.000 And everybody's got to be held to those rules.

02:32:39.000 If everyone's not held to those rules, then we're all supposed to either wander around in a state of denial and pretend that everything's cool when it isn't, or we have to, like, I don't know what.

02:32:51.000 Did you hear about this?

02:32:52.000 There's a great article that I tweeted yesterday, ISIS and the Lonely Young American.

02:32:56.000 It's about this girl who's a 23-year-old Sunday school teacher and a babysitter, and she converted to Islam.

02:33:05.000 She was lonely.

02:33:06.000 She was living with her grandparents. 0.99

02:33:07.000 She converted to Islam, and it goes over this long, slow sort of story where you understand who she is and how she got sucked in, and she fucking joins ISIS. Right. 0.99

02:33:18.000 Like, ISIS offers her some feeling of belonging, and she goes through this process to join ISIS. I don't want to tell you any more of it.

02:33:27.000 I just want people to read it because it's really fascinating.

02:33:30.000 And it also highlights an aspect of adhering to ideologies that a lot of people don't want to admit, is that people are extremely vulnerable because we don't want to be alone.

02:33:40.000 And a lot of times when you see someone who's absolutely committed to something, whether, I mean, how many times have people like seen that Bob Ross guy committing to painting and they wanted to become a painter?

02:33:50.000 Right.

02:33:50.000 Because it's attractive when you see someone who's into something.

02:33:52.000 You watch Julia Child cook or Anthony Bourdain cook.

02:33:55.000 Right.

02:33:55.000 You want to cook.

02:33:56.000 Like, God damn it, I want to cook too. 0.99

02:33:57.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:33:58.000 That's exciting.

02:33:58.000 Well, when you see someone who's like really into being a Muslim or really into being a Buddhist or really into being a lot of things.

02:34:05.000 Cool.

02:34:05.000 You get sucked into it.

02:34:07.000 The archetype of like the yogi, like the people that are like that fake bullshit Sat Nam, you know, Namaste, you know those guys. 0.92

02:34:14.000 There's like an archetype that they sort of follow into.

02:34:17.000 And they follow into it because when you see it, it looks like super attractive.

02:34:21.000 Like, oh wow, that guy's like really spiritual.

02:34:23.000 I want to be like him.

02:34:24.000 Well, there's people that are like that.

02:34:26.000 They're alone, and they're sad, and they're vulnerable, and being a Muslim looks like a good idea to them, or being a Mormon looks like a good idea to them. 0.92

02:34:34.000 Being in some sort of a group that accepts you and pulls you in, they're giving you interaction.

02:34:38.000 And this story is really fascinating because it's something that I've always felt compelled by, because I've felt minorly compelled by all sorts of different religions in my life. 0.96

02:34:48.000 I will watch like even speeches, you know, like radical Islamic speeches when these guys are talking in front of these people in other parts of the world that speak English, but there's a giant populations of them and like, but there's something attractive, even though he's saying nutty shit about, 0.67

02:35:04.000 you know, it says in the Quran you're supposed to stone adulterers and it says in the Quran. 0.86

02:35:08.000 They're going over, like, how could you possibly know better than God?

02:35:14.000 Is this not the greatest answer to this problem that God has provided?

02:35:19.000 And everyone would clap.

02:35:20.000 He goes, thank you then.

02:35:21.000 Exactly.

02:35:22.000 Like, this is Islam. 0.94

02:35:23.000 And I was like, the confidence this guy has and what he's saying becomes attractive, even to me.

02:35:28.000 Even to me, okay?

02:35:30.000 I'm nowhere near joining Islam.

02:35:32.000 I'm nowhere near joining ISIS. I'm nowhere near becoming a Mormon.

02:35:35.000 I'm nowhere near becoming a Scientologist.

02:35:37.000 Can you imagine if you joined ISIS? But you know what I'm saying, man?

02:35:39.000 I'm watching this, but I feel the draw.

02:35:41.000 Everyone feels a little bit of it because the guy is, he's compelling.

02:35:46.000 And a lot of them are religious people, people that believe wholeheartedly in everything that they're saying, and they have charisma, and they have passion behind it.

02:35:55.000 You're like, I don't have those things.

02:35:56.000 I want to be like him because I feel like he's giving off positive, strong energy.

02:36:01.000 Sure. 0.97

02:36:01.000 And if he's right, if he's right about God, and God really is on the side of the righteous, and he will lead us towards God, like, God damn, the guy seems super convinced. 0.97

02:36:10.000 I'm not convinced of anything like that. 0.75

02:36:11.000 You get drawn into it.

02:36:13.000 I think one thing that you're overlooking is the idea that, who is it, Sheldrake, who talks about, I think he uses the term runnel.

02:36:23.000 How certain belief systems create runnels in the time-space continuum.

02:36:28.000 You know like in Conan when he's walking around...

02:36:32.000 The wheel.

02:36:33.000 The wheel.

02:36:35.000 From walking around so many times, there's actually a trench that he digs.

02:36:39.000 So this groove...

02:36:41.000 It comes to exist in the universe, and those grooves are the major world religions.

02:36:46.000 And so, you know, right now, not only are people shitting in float tanks, but right now at this very moment, people in mosques in great numbers all across the planet are intoning these very sacred Words that come from a mystical book and they're singing them,

02:37:03.000 and that creates a resonance that you can tune into at any time that you want to.

02:37:08.000 And that's the pull that I believe you're feeling.

02:37:11.000 It's more than just, I want to fit in or I want to be a disciplined person. 0.99

02:37:16.000 It's like you start by dipping your toe in this river of subjective universe, which is whatever religion it is that you're exploring, and then you stick in your foot, And then you stick in your other foot, and the next thing you know, that motherfucker will suck you in and will pull you into that particular dance that a group of people are doing. 0.98

02:37:39.000 And it's a very beautiful dance. 0.98

02:37:40.000 It's a beautiful thing to watch.

02:37:42.000 We've talked about this a million times before, but when you're watching that incredible drift of pilgrims as they're moving around, what's the name of the...

02:37:53.000 what's it called?

02:37:54.000 Mecca.

02:37:55.000 I don't know what it's called, but I know what you're talking about.

02:37:57.000 And it's got a meteorite in it and this beautiful surging ocean of people dressed in white are like touching this stone and it's incredible to watch and it's beautiful.

02:38:07.000 It really does have a meteorite in it, right?

02:38:08.000 I think it's a black stone.

02:38:10.000 I think it's a meteorite.

02:38:11.000 It's a black stone.

02:38:13.000 And it's run down from all their fingers touching them. 0.99

02:38:16.000 And if you think all those people in that swirl of humanity are ISIS level, fundamentalist, lunatic assholes, you're just tricking yourself because you want the universe to be black and white. 0.99

02:38:25.000 It's not. 0.97

02:38:26.000 A lot of those people are really very advanced beings who have just been drawn into that particular way that the universe expresses itself.

02:38:34.000 This is not to be trusted because it's one of those world news daily report.com stories.

02:38:40.000 Definitely not to be trusted.

02:38:41.000 What do they say it is?

02:38:42.000 Saudi Arabia, a Blackstone of Mecca. 0.98

02:38:44.000 Blackstone of Mecca revealed to be a meteorite.

02:38:47.000 It's a real problem if that website's printing it, though.

02:38:50.000 I mean, I don't know what it is.

02:38:53.000 It's probably something weird, though.

02:38:55.000 Meteorite worship of the Blackstone.

02:38:57.000 There's more than one website that says that.

02:38:59.000 I mean, we've got to go to Wikipedia.

02:39:00.000 Look up Blackstone.

02:39:02.000 For some reason, Wikipedia always says...

02:39:04.000 Islam's meteor at the circle of the Kaaba. 0.94

02:39:06.000 The Kaaba, yeah, that's what it's called.

02:39:08.000 Yeah, I'm Googling it right in front of me.

02:39:10.000 It's a meteor.

02:39:10.000 I got a page that says it's not worshipped by Muslims.

02:39:12.000 What is it?

02:39:13.000 It's not worshipped by Muslims?

02:39:15.000 But it is a meteorite inside that thing, though.

02:39:18.000 That's what it's, the Kaaba stone.

02:39:19.000 Yeah.

02:39:19.000 But it is, right?

02:39:20.000 So even if it's not worshipped by Muslims, it's at the center of their worship spot.

02:39:25.000 I think that's probably significant.

02:39:28.000 Yeah.

02:39:29.000 That's pretty crazy.

02:39:31.000 The black stone.

02:39:33.000 Where is it?

02:39:34.000 Is that it right there?

02:39:35.000 Is that the only image of it?

02:39:36.000 The black stone, or Hajarul Aswad, is the eastern cornerstone of the Kaaba, the ancient stone building located in the center of the Grand Mosque in Mecca.

02:39:46.000 It is revered by Muslims as an Islamic relic, which, according to Muslim tradition, dates back to the time of Adam and Eve.

02:39:53.000 Dude, go to the Google image search and you can see the actual thing. 0.98

02:39:58.000 It looks like a vagina. 1.00

02:39:59.000 It's like the vagina of the universe. 1.00

02:40:02.000 Can you imagine if that was like, that literally is the vagina of the universe? 1.00

02:40:07.000 Looks more like a belly button. 0.99

02:40:09.000 Oh, yeah, it does have a kind of...

02:40:11.000 It's very vaginal. 0.96

02:40:13.000 Wow. 0.99

02:40:13.000 And they're reaching there and touching the vagina of the universe. 0.99

02:40:18.000 Well... 0.98

02:40:19.000 I mean, if that was a meteorite, okay, and that means it came crashing down to Earth from the sky.

02:40:25.000 Look how smooth it is.

02:40:26.000 Looks like a walnut.

02:40:28.000 I don't know where you've been buying your walnuts.

02:40:30.000 Looks like an egg.

02:40:31.000 You need to go to a new place.

02:40:32.000 Looks like a dragon egg. 1.00

02:40:33.000 It looks like a vagina, goddammit. 1.00

02:40:35.000 It's a dragon egg. 1.00

02:40:36.000 It's a vagina. 1.00

02:40:37.000 So if you think about it, birth, life came out of impact. 0.96

02:40:41.000 If it wasn't for the impact of comets, we wouldn't have water, apparently.

02:40:45.000 Is that true?

02:40:47.000 I believe that water came from comets.

02:40:49.000 I've heard that.

02:40:50.000 I don't know if they know that for sure. 0.99

02:40:52.000 But we do know for sure that if it wasn't for the meteor impact that killed the dinosaurs, we'd be fucked. 0.98

02:40:56.000 We would not have made it, okay? 0.98

02:40:59.000 We'd just, we'd gotten eaten. 0.99

02:41:00.000 Everywhere you look, giant fucking dinosaurs, velociraptors, T-Rexes. 0.99

02:41:05.000 You'd never figured out the airplane if there was pterodactyls. 0.99

02:41:07.000 It would have taken too much time. 1.00

02:41:09.000 You'd fly around, they'd jack you, they'd eat you, you'd be like, fuck, we can't fly yet, we gotta kill all the pterodactyls. 0.99

02:41:14.000 And then you'd never get to them, because you can't fly, so how are you gonna get to them? 0.99

02:41:18.000 You'd have to get to the point where you invented the jet, like a fighter jet, where there was no pterodactyls.

02:41:25.000 That was the only way. 1.00

02:41:26.000 And then you'd have to fly over to where the fuck they are, make sure you have a big tank of gas, and jack them all, make sure you kill all of them. 1.00

02:41:31.000 Then you could spread air travel. 1.00

02:41:33.000 Can you imagine if you had to try to sell tickets for American Airlines, and you might get taken out by a pterodactyl? 0.99

02:41:38.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

02:41:39.000 No one's gonna fly anywhere. 0.99

02:41:40.000 Most people won't even fly on an airline that has a last name Asia, right?

02:41:44.000 At this point, people are terrified about things dropping in the ocean.

02:41:48.000 Imagine if there was pterodactyls.

02:41:49.000 In the event of a pterodactyl attack, do not panic.

02:41:53.000 The key is to look like an egg.

02:41:56.000 They can't see very well.

02:41:57.000 They don't move.

02:41:59.000 They use edge detection.

02:42:00.000 In the very unlikely event of a pterodactyl attack.

02:42:03.000 It's like, well, I feel like that when I go swimming in the ocean.

02:42:06.000 It's like, you know, the sharks are the pterodactyls of the sea.

02:42:09.000 They're these ancient tube mouths that are just...

02:42:13.000 Monsters.

02:42:14.000 Yeah, that one in North Carolina.

02:42:16.000 Like, Jaws is happening in North Carolina.

02:42:18.000 Well, how about two people got their arms cut off inside of a day? 0.99

02:42:23.000 Two people, an hour apart from each other, got their fucking arms bitten off. 0.99

02:42:28.000 First of all, that second dude, did he know about the first dude? 0.99

02:42:31.000 Because that changes everything. 1.00

02:42:32.000 If the second dude knew about the first dude and knew they didn't catch the shark yet, he's probably like, well, fuck, man. 0.99

02:42:37.000 He's full now. 0.98

02:42:39.000 I've been swimming in Hawaii when there's shark attacks, you know, on Maui.

02:42:43.000 When we were there, somebody D-I-E-D'd.

02:42:47.000 Shh, the kids are listening.

02:42:49.000 Oh my god.

02:42:50.000 Yeah, we had a talk like that.

02:42:52.000 That did happen when I was there.

02:42:54.000 Dude, it happens all the time.

02:42:55.000 Yeah, sharks.

02:42:56.000 It happens.

02:42:56.000 Yeah.

02:42:57.000 They eat you. 1.00

02:42:57.000 I mean, they like to keep that shit on the DL. You know, they'll talk about it on the news out there, but the people on the island, they're not scared. 1.00

02:43:03.000 You know, I mean, that's just life.

02:43:06.000 That's the life that they live.

02:43:07.000 They don't want to get eaten by sharks, but when I was there, one time I was there and someone died, and another time I was there and there was a news report, totally different time, where this dude got jacked. 0.99

02:43:15.000 He was fucked up. 0.98

02:43:16.000 He was in the hospital. 1.00

02:43:17.000 His leg was fucking eaten apart. 0.97

02:43:19.000 And, you know, he was just talking about what it felt like, and how his friend rescued him, and then the whole... 0.99

02:43:23.000 I mean, this is a regular occurrence. 0.90

02:43:25.000 I'm talking about two separate trips to Hawaii, two fucking shark attacks, both took place while I was there. 0.97

02:43:30.000 I was a little buzzed and almost fell down a volcano. 0.98

02:43:34.000 Inside?

02:43:34.000 Well, not inside, but on the far side of it.

02:43:37.000 They have this beautiful observation place where you can look at a volcano.

02:43:42.000 Yeah, man, there was a bar.

02:43:45.000 I had a couple of margaritas, and then we were standing out there, and I kind of stumbled for a second and realized I could have just gone sliding down volcanic rock.

02:43:54.000 But it wouldn't have been into lava, which would be a glorious way to die.

02:43:57.000 No, you would have broken your legs and starved to death out there.

02:44:01.000 And you'd be on, like, 18 YouTube videos?

02:44:04.000 Especially if you had a GoPro.

02:44:05.000 Did you see the GoPro video of the dude who was on the motorcycle who got hit by a truck?

02:44:09.000 No.

02:44:10.000 You haven't seen it?

02:44:11.000 You saw it?

02:44:12.000 Does he die?

02:44:12.000 Yeah, but Brian showed it to me the other night.

02:44:14.000 Um, no. 0.94

02:44:14.000 He might as well be dead, though. 0.94

02:44:15.000 He's just fucked beyond repair. 1.00

02:44:17.000 This guy's going fast, and he head-on collides with a truck. 1.00

02:44:21.000 God damn it. 0.99

02:44:22.000 Dude. 1.00

02:44:22.000 That sucks. 1.00

02:44:23.000 Ooh, it's crazy to watch. 1.00

02:44:25.000 Do you want to watch it?

02:44:26.000 Yeah.

02:44:26.000 Okay.

02:44:28.000 Let's see it. 0.97

02:44:29.000 Let's add this to the beaker, goddammit. 0.88

02:44:31.000 Why do we do this to ourselves? 0.80

02:44:32.000 This is a tough one.

02:44:33.000 Oh, brother, no! 0.99

02:44:36.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

02:44:39.000 Yeah, dude. 1.00

02:44:40.000 I mean, this is fucking madness. 0.98

02:44:41.000 Well, who uploaded the video? 0.99

02:44:42.000 He must have.

02:44:44.000 So he's okay.

02:44:45.000 Oh, I don't know.

02:44:46.000 I mean someone else picks up the GoPro and starts filming him.

02:44:49.000 He's good enough to upload videos.

02:44:51.000 No, no, no, no, no.

02:44:52.000 Someone else picks up the GoPro, but like, stop.

02:44:56.000 I can't watch this anymore.

02:44:57.000 Can't play it more than two times. 0.99

02:44:58.000 Shut up quickly, quickly. 0.95

02:45:01.000 Well, I hope he's doing okay now. 0.99

02:45:03.000 He's much better.

02:45:04.000 He might be.

02:45:05.000 Well, he has Nationwide.

02:45:06.000 Nationwide?

02:45:06.000 Is that Home Insurance?

02:45:07.000 Oh God, I'm gonna sing it.

02:45:08.000 Which one's Cars?

02:45:11.000 I must sing it.

02:45:12.000 My hands are sweating from watching that.

02:45:14.000 Like, feel my hand right now.

02:45:15.000 Feel it.

02:45:16.000 Jesus Christ.

02:45:17.000 Yeah, I'm soaked.

02:45:18.000 Hyperhidrosis.

02:45:19.000 What is that?

02:45:20.000 Sweaty palms.

02:45:21.000 I sweat a lot.

02:45:21.000 That's me, dude.

02:45:22.000 I'm hyperhidrosis.

02:45:24.000 Hyperhidrosis.

02:45:25.000 The myth of hyperhidrosis.

02:45:27.000 Yeah, I get nervous.

02:45:29.000 Anytime I get nervous, my hands sweat like crazy.

02:45:31.000 God, mine too.

02:45:32.000 My body just thinks like, you better run, run!

02:45:36.000 Like, no, we're just about to take a test. 1.00

02:45:38.000 No, fucking run, dude. 1.00

02:45:40.000 Fucking run. 1.00

02:45:41.000 No, no, no, no. 1.00

02:45:41.000 We're just watching a YouTube video. 1.00

02:45:43.000 No, no, the fucking truck is coming! 1.00

02:45:45.000 Bah, fucking run! 1.00

02:45:47.000 I see the bike going towards the truck and my hands just start sweating like they have to just run away somehow. 1.00

02:45:53.000 I don't know what's going on.

02:45:53.000 Is your body like heating up like it thinks it's preparing to burst?

02:45:57.000 I don't know.

02:45:58.000 It's a great question because it doesn't seem like it's going to help.

02:46:00.000 Like sweaty palms, it's like if you want to grab onto something, it's going to be harder to do it.

02:46:04.000 It seems weird.

02:46:05.000 It's the worst.

02:46:06.000 It's not good for anything.

02:46:08.000 Yeah, your grip gets slippery.

02:46:11.000 For pool, it's like it was always a plague of mine.

02:46:14.000 I used to actually spray antiperspirant on my hands.

02:46:17.000 Oh, wow.

02:46:18.000 Yeah, and then I found this stuff called...

02:46:19.000 It's called like...

02:46:22.000 Hands dry or something like that?

02:46:23.000 Dry hands or something like that?

02:46:24.000 It's essentially like antiperspirant for people that have a problem when they're doing something and need to have dry hands.

02:46:29.000 And I would squirt it on my hands and rub it all over my hands and then it would allow me to play pool better where I could concentrate on just playing.

02:46:37.000 I didn't have to worry about my hands wiping them down every five minutes.

02:46:40.000 I used to bring a wet towel with me and I would wipe my hands with a wet towel and then I would dry them off with a dry towel and I had to do that over and over and over again.

02:46:48.000 My hands would just be sweating.

02:46:50.000 For no reason.

02:46:51.000 No reason. 1.00

02:46:51.000 It was a stupid game. 1.00

02:46:53.000 Knocking a ball into another ball and I'm like, life and death! 1.00

02:46:56.000 Life and death!

02:46:57.000 My body temperature's changing!

02:46:59.000 I'm sweating! 1.00

02:47:00.000 Sweating over a fucking game. 1.00

02:47:02.000 It wasn't even for a lot of money. 1.00

02:47:03.000 You know, playing a tournament or playing with a buddy and my hands are sweating. 1.00

02:47:06.000 Like an asshole. 1.00

02:47:07.000 Yeah, sweat's fucking weird, isn't it? 1.00

02:47:09.000 What a strange thing that your body just squirts out salt water whenever it gets too hot or freaks out. 0.95

02:47:15.000 Well, I've been on a hot yoga tear the last two and a half months.

02:47:20.000 I've got to tell you, first of all, there's two things that I've been doing the last two and a half months really regularly, and I know one of them is not feasible for a lot of people, so don't complain, and that's cryotherapy.

02:47:29.000 What is it? 0.98

02:47:29.000 I know that shit's expensive. 0.98

02:47:30.000 It's like 60 bucks every time you do it. 1.00

02:47:32.000 I'm fucking addicted, dude. 0.99

02:47:33.000 I do it almost every day. 0.99

02:47:35.000 Where do you do it?

02:47:35.000 I do it down here in Woodland Hills.

02:47:37.000 They have a place on Vendura Boulevard.

02:47:39.000 Cryo Healthcare.

02:47:40.000 There's another place in LA. But there's a lot of people that do it.

02:47:45.000 It's not as effective, but it's pretty fucking effective. 0.96

02:47:48.000 Just an ice bath. 0.98

02:47:49.000 Just fill up a tank filled with water, or a tub, rather, filled with water, and a lot of fucking ice, and just climb on in. 0.99

02:47:54.000 I've heard about this. 1.00

02:47:55.000 And it sucks! 0.99

02:47:57.000 But there's something that happens when you ice yourself down like that. 0.99

02:48:01.000 The decrease of inflammation makes you feel fucking fantastic. 0.95

02:48:04.000 Right. 0.75

02:48:04.000 And it allows your body to heal more effectively. 0.75

02:48:07.000 Like, dude, extreme cold is incredible for inflammation.

02:48:11.000 So I've done it every day, except the weekend.

02:48:14.000 I didn't do it the weekend.

02:48:15.000 You did it today.

02:48:15.000 I did it today, right before the show.

02:48:17.000 I do it I do it try to do it five days a week these days and I'm doing it five days a week and I fucking feel Fantastic.

02:48:25.000 I've heard that.

02:48:25.000 Dude, all my little aches and pains, they're all like diminishing significantly.

02:48:30.000 Everything seems to be like loosening up and relaxing.

02:48:34.000 What's the mechanics of that?

02:48:36.000 I'll explain it.

02:48:36.000 But the other thing I'm doing is hot yoga.

02:48:38.000 And the hot yoga in combination with that is very interesting because I've been doing the hot yoga at least two days a week.

02:48:44.000 And then I'll do like some other stretches like a third day a week with my other workouts that I do.

02:48:49.000 But I'm forcing myself to do two days a week of hot yoga. 0.98

02:48:52.000 It's fucking hard, dude. 0.95

02:48:54.000 It's hard to do. 0.99

02:48:55.000 Like, surprisingly hard. 0.78

02:48:57.000 And when the class is, like, almost over, I'm fucking exhausted. 0.80

02:49:01.000 I mean, like, really exhausted and so hot that I want to quit. 0.96

02:49:04.000 I want to quit. 1.00

02:49:05.000 Like, the last ten minutes is don't be a bitch. 1.00

02:49:08.000 That's the last ten minutes. 0.98

02:49:09.000 All the exercises are fairly easy, and it's just don't leave yet.

02:49:13.000 Don't leave yet.

02:49:14.000 Hang in there.

02:49:15.000 Don't leave yet.

02:49:15.000 Hang in there.

02:49:16.000 And your body's like, dude, this is too fucking hot in here. 0.92

02:49:18.000 You gotta just deal with it. 0.91

02:49:20.000 Just deal with it and get through.

02:49:22.000 I don't know if you've ever seen the podcast I've done with Dr. Rhonda Patrick.

02:49:26.000 Nope.

02:49:26.000 I can't wait to talk to her about this, but she's a brilliant, brilliant lady.

02:49:30.000 And she wrote a paper about sauna.

02:49:32.000 And one of the things about saunas is that they've experienced this radical decrease in mortality rates amongst people who take sauna.

02:49:41.000 She was like, it's a 40% decrease across the board with everything.

02:49:45.000 With like cancer, heart attacks, all these different things.

02:49:47.000 There's an effect that's happening when you hyper-heat the body.

02:49:51.000 Saunas, yeah.

02:49:51.000 You go into a sauna, a hot sauna.

02:49:53.000 There's something that happens when you extremely heat up the body, where the body has to respond to the heat.

02:50:00.000 Then it develops this reaction to these extreme temperatures under short durations.

02:50:05.000 Now, I don't know how much time you're supposed to sit in a sauna, But the time that you sit in a sauna, whatever happens to your body once you get out and your body cools itself down, there's a compensatory mechanism that helps your body in some crazy way that they're still trying to understand now.

02:50:21.000 And the same can be said for cryotherapy.

02:50:23.000 And cryotherapy, I think it's called cytokines, like when you get below 150 degrees, your body produces these anti-inflammatory responses.

02:50:30.000 There's PubMed studies on it, there's a bunch of different studies explaining it.

02:50:32.000 How does it not burn?

02:50:33.000 I don't understand you don't get frostbite.

02:50:35.000 You're only in there for three minutes.

02:50:36.000 Seems like a long time.

02:50:37.000 It seems like a long time while you're in there, too, but it's enough that you can get out of it.

02:50:41.000 Like, when it gets more than three minutes, it gets real tricky.

02:50:43.000 And you don't have to, you don't touch anything.

02:50:45.000 Like, your hands are in gloves, you have a surgical mask on your face, you have earmuffs, and the extremities are covered.

02:50:51.000 Your extremities are covered with gloves, and your toes are covered with socks, and then you wear crocs.

02:50:55.000 So you're standing in rubber crocs, so your feet don't touch the ground. 0.99

02:50:59.000 What about your cock? 1.00

02:50:59.000 Your cock is in your underwear. 1.00

02:51:01.000 Believe it or not, the cock doesn't get that cold. 1.00

02:51:03.000 I mean, I deal with it. 1.00

02:51:04.000 I deal with my cock. 1.00

02:51:05.000 My legs get cold. 1.00

02:51:06.000 My nipples get fucking cold. 0.98

02:51:09.000 Like, sometimes I wind up doing this. 0.99

02:51:11.000 I wind up covering my nipples. 0.97

02:51:12.000 But for the most part, what's happening is your body is freaking the fuck out because it's freezing cold. 0.84

02:51:17.000 And then because the fact that it's not freezing cold anymore, it releases this burst of these cytokines and this feeling of just warmth and pain.

02:51:26.000 Power through your body where everything just feels like things are knocked loose. 0.97

02:51:31.000 It's almost like a River runs through a clogged up stream and knocks out all the trees and branches and shit. 0.99

02:51:37.000 I want to do it, man. 0.99

02:51:38.000 Oh, please.

02:51:39.000 Let's do it.

02:51:39.000 I'll take you tomorrow tomorrow.

02:51:41.000 I can't do it tomorrow.

02:51:43.000 When can you do it?

02:51:44.000 I gotta look at my...

02:51:45.000 We'll talk about it off screen, but you're gonna do the Comedy Store on Friday.

02:51:49.000 Yes.

02:51:49.000 Let's do it before the Comedy Store.

02:51:51.000 Done.

02:51:52.000 That's great.

02:51:52.000 We'll freeze ourselves before the Comedy Store.

02:51:54.000 There's one on La Cienega.

02:51:55.000 I'll try to do a workout before that, too, so that I will have, like...

02:51:59.000 Well, some people actually like to do it after a freeze.

02:52:03.000 They like to freeze first and then work out later.

02:52:05.000 But apparently you can't do that with the ice bath.

02:52:07.000 So they were describing this the other day, don't listen to me, but this was something that they were talking about.

02:52:12.000 Ryan, the guy who runs the Woodland Hills location, was telling me that if you, was telling somebody else I was eavesdropping, that if you do an ice bath, you're done for the day.

02:52:21.000 You don't work out that day. 0.94

02:52:22.000 Because you're sitting in that thing for like 20 minutes and it's freezing cold and you know, Apparently, you could fuck yourself up if you work out hard after that. 0.95

02:52:29.000 Joe, you're so funny, man. 0.87

02:52:31.000 I'm sorry.

02:52:31.000 I don't mean to cut you off.

02:52:32.000 You're so fucking cool. 0.88

02:52:33.000 I just realized how cool you are. 0.99

02:52:35.000 I realized I'm sitting talking to a guy in an astronaut suit about going on Friday to freeze my body in an ice chamber.

02:52:48.000 Well, listen, man, if you can do it, you should do it.

02:52:50.000 It sounds awesome.

02:52:51.000 I want to do it.

02:52:52.000 But I'm saying even like be the guy that tells people while you're wearing a NASA suit that you need to get in a triogenic chamber for 270 degrees below zero for three minutes.

02:52:59.000 Yeah.

02:53:00.000 Yeah, you should do that.

02:53:01.000 I'm doing it.

02:53:02.000 I want to do it.

02:53:08.000 We can do these things.

02:53:09.000 Yeah.

02:53:10.000 You have an isolation tank in your house.

02:53:11.000 I know.

02:53:12.000 You can do these things. 1.00

02:53:12.000 You have a fucking Mercedes now. 1.00

02:53:14.000 You can do these things. 1.00

02:53:15.000 These things are happening.

02:53:16.000 Right.

02:53:16.000 These things are happening.

02:53:17.000 So weird.

02:53:18.000 The world is weird.

02:53:18.000 So weird.

02:53:19.000 You're selling out all over the country.

02:53:20.000 It's really weird.

02:53:21.000 Joey Diaz broke all the records in Boston this weekend.

02:53:23.000 Oh, good.

02:53:23.000 That makes sense, man.

02:53:24.000 That club was sold out in advance before he even got there.

02:53:26.000 The place was packed.

02:53:27.000 What room was it?

02:53:29.000 Laugh Boston.

02:53:29.000 Wow.

02:53:30.000 Great room.

02:53:30.000 Have you done it?

02:53:31.000 I haven't done it.

02:53:31.000 It's very good.

02:53:32.000 It's very good.

02:53:33.000 I haven't done it.

02:53:33.000 Boston is a re-emerging comedy scene.

02:53:35.000 We're down to three minutes left.

02:53:37.000 Can I announce the show?

02:53:37.000 Yes, you can!

02:53:39.000 I have two cool shows coming up.

02:53:41.000 I'm going to be at the Montreal Comedy Festival doing a set and a podcast.

02:53:47.000 And then what's really cool, I just found out about this, but it'll be on my website soon.

02:53:51.000 Big tour of Australia coming up in November with Johnny Pemberton.

02:53:56.000 I'm going to be in Australia, so anybody out there, please come see me.

02:54:01.000 And Johnny in Australia.

02:54:04.000 DuncanTrussell.com?

02:54:05.000 Yes.

02:54:05.000 T-R-U-S-S-E-L-L. Yes.

02:54:08.000 Don't get it twisted.

02:54:10.000 Duncan Trussell Family Hour.

02:54:12.000 Subscribe on iTunes.

02:54:14.000 Listen away. 0.96

02:54:14.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.96

02:54:15.000 You're the best, buddy. 0.93

02:54:16.000 You're the best.

02:54:17.000 I love you too, Joe.

02:54:17.000 Thank you.

02:54:18.000 Happy 666 to you.

02:54:18.000 Happy 666. What an honor to be on this show.

02:54:21.000 Peace and love, you dirty bitches. 1.00

02:54:22.000 We'll see you soon. 1.00

02:54:23.000 Much love.

02:54:24.000 Big kiss.

02:54:24.000 Bye!

The Joe Rogan Experience - June 29, 2015

Joe Rogan Experience #666 - Duncan Trussell

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