The Joe Rogan Experience - September 22, 2015


Joe Rogan Experience #699 - Donald Cerrone

Topics
face cancer from skull training and coaching stable boat rage stockpiling water mental game ice cold beer after training Cowboy's drinking philosophy diet and supplements stem cell injections weed backpacking weed go hand-to-hand Ronda Rousey fighting 155 division Aldo vs. Mendez fight and McGregor's training methods boat ramp disputes status and materialism
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Donald Cerrone
Mentioned
Donald Cerrone Chuck Norris Leonard Garcia Rafael Dos Anjos Anderson Silva Frankie Edgar Jesus Christ Kyle Noak Brian Callen Nate Diaz Nick Diaz Putin Robbie Lawler Paul Felder Aldo Anthony Pettis Great Jackson Uriah Faber McGregor Weidman and 129 more
Joe Rogan Experience #698 - Dr. Carl Hart Joe Rogan Experience #700 - Dr. Mark Gordon & Andrew Marr

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 19 minutes

Words per minute

210.28

Word count

29,306

Sentence count

3,869

Harmful content

Misogyny

126

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,364

sentences flagged

Hate speech

87

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the brother and sister duo of the sit down with former NHL enforcer Scott Parker to talk about his career in the NHL and how he became one of the most respected enforcers in the game. We also talk about how he got into the UFC, his time in the NBA, and why he thinks hockey should be the new NBA. And of course, we talk a little bit about his love of the Rocky Ballet and Rocky Balcones. Enjoy the episode and spread the word to your friends and family about this podcast! Don't Tell Mom: e-mail us what you thought of this episode and we'll get back to you guys with new episodes soon! Timestamps: 3:30 - Scott Parker's NHL career 6:00 - How he became a UFC enforcer 8:00 - What it's like to be an enforcer in the NFL 9:00- How he got his nickname "The Rock" 11:15 - The Rock's love for the game 13:30 - How the NBA is the only sport where you can be a better enforcer than the NHL 16:20 - Why the NHL needs enforcer? 17:40 - Why hockey is better than the NBA 18:50 - How Scott Parker is a better than hockey 19:15 - Why he thinks the NHL is the best sport 22: How he would like to go to the NBA? 23:40 24:00 -- How he's going to make it in hockey 25: How much better than other sports? 26:10 - How much money does he need to be paid 27:10 28:30 -- What would you like to play in hockey? 29:40 -- What does he think about the NHL? 30:00 What's your favorite sport? 31:00 | How do you want to go in the middle of the game? 32:10 -- How does he feel about the game right now? 35:20 -- What s your favorite part of the NHL game 36:10 | What do you think you're going to do next? 33:30 | How would you think he'd like to make the most money in the league? 37:40 | What s his biggest challenge? 39:00 // 36:20 | Can you give me a shot?

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:02.000 Alright, we're live.
00:00:03.000 We've been talking about doing this for a while.
00:00:05.000 We have.
00:00:05.000 We have.
00:00:05.000 Glad we finally pulled it off.
00:00:06.000 It's about time.
00:00:07.000 What are you doing in town?
00:00:09.000 I came here and did a little surfing.
00:00:12.000 Started off the plane.
00:00:16.000 Then I had to do a UFC thing where I trained Blake Griffin this morning, this afternoon.
00:00:21.000 Oh, okay.
00:00:22.000 I saw that picture.
00:00:23.000 Yeah, so we were mixing it up, MMA. He was showing me how to dunk over a car and I was teaching him how to whip some ass. 0.99
00:00:34.000 When we see a guy like that that's like a giant athlete like that, don't you want to go, man? 0.99
00:00:38.000 You have a fucking great radio voice. 0.97
00:00:40.000 I've never heard the radio voice. 1.00
00:00:41.000 The radio voice? 1.00
00:00:42.000 Your stand-up, you're fucking... 1.00
00:00:44.000 This is my conversation voice. 1.00
00:00:48.000 Well, if we were at dinner, I'd have the same voice.
00:00:50.000 Okay, gotcha.
00:00:52.000 You're like, and next on the stage...
00:00:55.000 Destiny coming to the main stage.
00:00:59.000 $14 kamikazes.
00:01:03.000 Nice and smooth. 0.99
00:01:05.000 When you see a dude like that, do you want to tell him, man, with that fucking body, you could be heavyweight champion in the world. 0.99
00:01:09.000 That's what I was telling him. 0.99
00:01:10.000 I was like, you're huge.
00:01:11.000 Your drips, everything about you was just massive.
00:01:13.000 But, you know, when we were doing some under-overs and some wrestling, I think he was kind of like...
00:01:22.000 I feel like he was limping on me. 1.00
00:01:24.000 I was like, you little pussy fucking man. 1.00
00:01:26.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:01:28.000 Don't fucking big brother me right now. 0.99
00:01:30.000 Don't give me the, oh, I'm just a little kid. 0.99
00:01:34.000 Then once I fucking gave him that talk, then he stepped it up a little bit. 1.00
00:01:36.000 I was like, yeah, don't do that to me, motherfucker. 1.00
00:01:39.000 I'm a grown ass man. 1.00
00:01:40.000 I'm fucking six foot tall. 1.00
00:01:42.000 I'll fuck you up. 1.00
00:01:46.000 Don't limp arm me right now is how to tell him. 1.00
00:01:49.000 It's funny because you are six foot tall, but when you stand next to him, you're like, Jesus fucking Christ. 0.99
00:01:54.000 How tall is that dude? 0.99
00:01:55.000 He's 6'10".
00:01:56.000 Jesus Christ.
00:01:57.000 6'10", man.
00:01:58.000 It was funny. 1.00
00:02:00.000 I was telling him how you're so coordinated on the court and then you put some fucking gloves on and you can't What the fuck? 1.00
00:02:08.000 One, two. 1.00
00:02:10.000 We were just going, like, come on.
00:02:11.000 It's a whole different thing, man.
00:02:12.000 And then he had his management come up to me and tell me he doesn't want to knee or kick. 0.98
00:02:17.000 And so, of course, we fucking need a kick because you can't tell me what you can't do. 0.99
00:02:20.000 Does he have fucked up knees or something? 1.00
00:02:22.000 Who knows? 0.99
00:02:22.000 I have no idea. 0.99
00:02:23.000 And he didn't want to be embarrassed.
00:02:25.000 Like, when you do something that you're not good at, you don't want to do it in front of people, especially cameras.
00:02:30.000 So he...
00:02:31.000 No, we did it. 0.99
00:02:32.000 A lot of those guys have fucked up knees, right? 0.99
00:02:34.000 Yeah, a lot of our guys have fucked up knees. 1.00
00:02:36.000 There's the photo of you. 0.99
00:02:37.000 Yeah, there it is. 1.00
00:02:38.000 Everybody has fucked up knees, man. 0.99
00:02:39.000 No biggie. 1.00
00:02:40.000 It's huge.
00:02:40.000 That's a giant dude.
00:02:42.000 Yeah, if you could teach that guy how to kick, Jesus Christ. 1.00
00:02:44.000 Fucking knee. 1.00
00:02:45.000 I mean, the dude can dunk over a car. 1.00
00:02:47.000 So, like, jump knee.
00:02:49.000 It was fun.
00:02:50.000 Yeah, I can only imagine.
00:02:51.000 I can only imagine. 0.99
00:02:52.000 But those guys, there's so much more money in the NBA, and you don't have to get your ass kicked. 0.99
00:02:57.000 That's what I told him. 0.99
00:02:57.000 I said, hey, man, I need you to go to the NBA. Yeah. 0.99
00:03:00.000 And tell them, you guys need enforcers like hockey.
00:03:04.000 I'll be your man, you know what I'm saying? 0.99
00:03:06.000 So you tell me you go out there and say, yo, cowboy fucking number 23 keeps hitting me in the ribs, you know, I don't like that. 1.00
00:03:11.000 And I'll go out there and I'll just ice the fool right there on the middle of the court. 0.99
00:03:15.000 It is weird that hockey is the only sport where you're allowed to beat people up in the middle of the game. 0.95
00:03:20.000 Yeah, my buddy Scott Parker, I mean, he is the enforcer for the Colorado Abs.
00:03:23.000 Well, he's retired now, but I mean, that was his job.
00:03:25.000 So, you know, he would tell me he mentally had to prepare.
00:03:28.000 Him and I talk a lot about just the preparation of fighting and how he'd get game ready because he knew he was fighting whoever was the other enforcer, so he'd be ready.
00:03:37.000 And it's cool, like, interacting with him in that sense.
00:03:39.000 Yeah.
00:03:39.000 Yeah, they promote it like, oh, you're messing with my goalie, so they send out the enforcer?
00:03:46.000 It's because it's Canadian.
00:03:47.000 What a cool job!
00:03:48.000 It's a great job. 1.00
00:03:49.000 Fuck like, Joe, get him in here. 1.00
00:03:53.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:03:55.000 It's just funny that any other sport, if you fight, you're not just ejected for the game, you're subject to penalties, you might get suspended.
00:04:04.000 In hockey, it's a normal thing.
00:04:06.000 If, for instance, Blake just hauled off and jumped knee someone's whole face off in the middle of the game, that would be huge, and then they'd be in big trouble.
00:04:15.000 Do you think it's because hockey, like, they're not that stable because you're on skates? 0.98
00:04:19.000 Like, it takes a lot of fucking skate knowledge to be able to brawl while you're on skates. 0.99
00:04:24.000 I can barely fucking stand on skates. 0.99
00:04:26.000 I don't know how to ice skate. 0.99
00:04:27.000 I'm terrible at it.
00:04:28.000 I did it about two years ago and thought it was cool.
00:04:32.000 Tried to do the hockey stop. 1.00
00:04:33.000 Fucking cocky head. 1.00
00:04:35.000 Bam! 1.00
00:04:36.000 Apped out on the fucking ice. 1.00
00:04:37.000 That was the end of my hockey dream. 1.00
00:04:40.000 Yeah, I'm not a skater.
00:04:41.000 I'm not a skater.
00:04:42.000 Yeah, I have no idea.
00:04:43.000 Well, I would imagine if you could teach a dude, like a dude who's like a figure skater, teach him some like real good kicks. 0.98
00:04:50.000 You could fuck somebody up, but you're not allowed to do that, right? 0.99
00:04:53.000 You can't just like figure skate, wheel kick someone's fucking head off. 1.00
00:04:57.000 Juggler done? 0.99
00:04:58.000 I don't think they can raise either knee or anything.
00:05:02.000 They can't bring the skates off.
00:05:04.000 Keep your feet down.
00:05:04.000 What about a Superman punch?
00:05:06.000 Wouldn't be effective.
00:05:07.000 They wouldn't even know that you were throwing a kick. 0.98
00:05:09.000 Unless you came at him like Thor in the movie, Troy, and just fucking iced him. 0.97
00:05:18.000 So, like a trick, like a trick? 0.96
00:05:20.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:05:21.000 Yeah, it would have to be something no one expected.
00:05:23.000 Have to, yeah.
00:05:24.000 It is just weird that they don't have that in basketball.
00:05:26.000 If, like, basketball becomes less and less popular, maybe they would have to bring it in.
00:05:30.000 So, did you know in hockey, the enforcers can't wear a face mask?
00:05:34.000 Oh, really?
00:05:35.000 They can only wear a helmet with no guard.
00:05:37.000 It's like a...
00:05:38.000 A penalty if they do.
00:05:39.000 That's interesting.
00:05:40.000 So they can't take punishment.
00:05:42.000 That makes sense.
00:05:43.000 It's like if one guy had it on and one guy didn't.
00:05:45.000 Exactly.
00:05:46.000 So they could both not have it.
00:05:47.000 But still, they just grab and just throttle, punch through the plastic, and that's insane, right?
00:05:52.000 Yeah, it is kind of insane.
00:05:54.000 Insane. 1.00
00:05:54.000 Yeah, it's a fucked up job. 1.00
00:05:58.000 That's a weird gray area sport, but I think a lot of it is also because it's Canadian. 0.99
00:06:02.000 Canada, there's more men up there.
00:06:06.000 All right, I'll give you that.
00:06:07.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:06:07.000 Sure, sure.
00:06:08.000 It's like there's a lot of pussies in America. 1.00
00:06:10.000 I mean, there's a lot of men in America. 1.00
00:06:11.000 A lot of pussies in America. 1.00
00:06:13.000 There's a lot of pussies, yeah. 1.00
00:06:14.000 And in Canada, I think fistfights are more a normal thing. 0.99
00:06:18.000 Like, think about if we were back pre-biblical.
00:06:21.000 And we're in a...
00:06:21.000 Pre-biblical.
00:06:23.000 Jesus.
00:06:24.000 Okay, I'm gonna throw my head in there.
00:06:25.000 You're wrapping around with this, right?
00:06:27.000 Pre-biblical.
00:06:27.000 Pre-biblical, okay.
00:06:28.000 And all these pussies. 1.00
00:06:31.000 You think how many women us alpha mills would have? 1.00
00:06:33.000 We would just go and, like, I think I'm gonna take your girl and just beat his ass. 1.00
00:06:36.000 And the problem with that is you could never fucking sleep. 1.00
00:06:39.000 Those days, man, like the Mongol days and shit, like, you never sleep. 1.00
00:06:44.000 You know, you would hear footsteps. 0.99
00:06:45.000 You're like, oh, fucking great. 0.98
00:06:46.000 You look out your window. 0.99
00:06:48.000 There's a thousand dudes on horses coming over the hill. 0.99
00:06:50.000 Yeah, I wish a motherfucking would. 1.00
00:06:53.000 But those Wish I Motherfucker Would days, the Mongols, they're fucking just shooting arrows. 1.00
00:06:58.000 No one has a gun. 1.00
00:07:00.000 They're fucking launching people on catapults. 0.99
00:07:02.000 Those kind of fights take a long time. 0.99
00:07:04.000 Maybe they just barely came with arrows.
00:07:07.000 Swords, definitely, but...
00:07:09.000 When did they figure out arrows?
00:07:11.000 Like all those, like the arrows are on the hieroglyphs, right?
00:07:14.000 So that's like 2000 BC, at least.
00:07:18.000 Because I think the pyramid is 2500 BC, I think they dated that. 0.95
00:07:23.000 So I think if you're talking about When was the invention of the fucking arrow? 0.96
00:07:27.000 I should probably know this. 0.99
00:07:28.000 I bow hunt.
00:07:29.000 I should know this.
00:07:30.000 But I have no idea.
00:07:32.000 It was a long-ass time ago.
00:07:33.000 I have no idea.
00:07:34.000 It was a long-ass time ago.
00:07:35.000 Yeah, they figured out a few things first, right?
00:07:37.000 They figured out, like, spears, and then they figured out catapults, probably.
00:07:42.000 That was probably next.
00:07:43.000 Bows and arrows.
00:07:44.000 Trebuchet, right?
00:07:45.000 What is that?
00:07:46.000 Isn't that a catapult?
00:07:47.000 Like a trebuchet?
00:07:48.000 That was called a trebuchet?
00:07:50.000 Can you Google it?
00:07:51.000 Trebuchet?
00:07:52.000 Trebuchet.
00:07:53.000 I'm saying it wrong.
00:07:55.000 Tre...
00:07:57.000 Trebuchet? 1.00
00:07:57.000 That was a fucking quick Google. 1.00
00:07:59.000 That's not bad. 0.99
00:08:00.000 Trebuchet.
00:08:01.000 That's the original catapult. 0.99
00:08:02.000 You're fucking telling me I just scored? 1.00
00:08:03.000 Goddamn, son. 1.00
00:08:04.000 Look at you. 1.00
00:08:05.000 Motherfucker what? 1.00
00:08:05.000 That's amazing. 1.00
00:08:06.000 Yeah.
00:08:07.000 It's even spelled the way you pronounced it.
00:08:12.000 It's perfect.
00:08:13.000 All loose-lipped like Trebuchet. 0.89
00:08:14.000 Trebuchet with a mouth full of skull.
00:08:16.000 What do you got there?
00:08:17.000 What is that stuff?
00:08:18.000 Copenhagen Lawn Cut, Wintergreen.
00:08:19.000 Is that stuff dangerous for you?
00:08:21.000 Is that bad for you?
00:08:22.000 Probably not any more dangerous than marijuana.
00:08:24.000 Marijuana's not dangerous for you at all.
00:08:26.000 How dare you, sir?
00:08:27.000 I don't feel like that is either. 0.99
00:08:29.000 But that stuff does not, like, chew people's faces off and shit. 0.98
00:08:32.000 This is one dude who shows up at little kids' schools to warn them of the dangers of chewing tobacco and is missing half his face. 0.99
00:08:40.000 I remember that dude on TV. He had bone cancer in his face.
00:08:43.000 I don't mean to freak you out.
00:08:44.000 No, you're not freaking me out.
00:08:45.000 I'm going out with my boots on, baby.
00:08:47.000 Wow.
00:08:47.000 So, face cancer from skull, you're good.
00:08:50.000 Face cancer from skull, I'm going to call up Red Bull and tell him, hey, I'm going to be the first guy to jump out of the astronaut thing you got there. 0.53
00:08:54.000 I don't need to shoot. 0.95
00:08:55.000 I'm just going in head first.
00:08:56.000 So, bring it on.
00:08:58.000 Jesus Christ.
00:09:00.000 That's my mentality, though, Joey. 0.99
00:09:02.000 Like, if I got in a car accident and lost a leg or an arm, I'd just, I'd tell them, pull the plug right there, shoot me. 0.99
00:09:06.000 I'm done. 1.00
00:09:07.000 One leg.
00:09:08.000 Oh, man, it'd be tough.
00:09:09.000 It'd be tough.
00:09:10.000 They got some good prosthetics now.
00:09:12.000 A lot of these guys that come back from Iraq and Afghanistan, they do marathons now.
00:09:15.000 Poor little pink tank. 1.00
00:09:16.000 It's incredible.
00:09:17.000 Yeah.
00:09:20.000 It's incredible, though, isn't it?
00:09:21.000 It really is, man, but goddammit, yeah.
00:09:25.000 You were real close.
00:09:28.000 They sequenced the gene of the flatworm recently, and they're looking to try to figure out, because the flatworms can regenerate, like you cut them in half, they become two completely different flatworms.
00:09:39.000 I think they also have the same memories.
00:09:42.000 Like if one flatworm knows where the food is and you cut them in half, both halves know where the food is.
00:09:47.000 So it's very confusing to them because they're trying to figure out where memories are stored.
00:09:50.000 But is that memories or is that just, you know, like years of...
00:09:54.000 It's a good question.
00:09:55.000 I think specifically what they know and the way they know it, they believe that it's a memory.
00:10:00.000 Some type of a memory.
00:10:01.000 Obviously a crude memory.
00:10:03.000 But they think that they're going to be able to figure out within the next hundred years how to replace limbs.
00:10:08.000 That you're going to be able to regenerate it the way a frog does or an alligator does.
00:10:13.000 Think about that in the next hundred years.
00:10:15.000 Think about this iPhone 6 here in the next hundred years.
00:10:18.000 It's nothing.
00:10:18.000 Yeah, it's a joke.
00:10:19.000 Do you remember the flip phone and the T9 texting?
00:10:22.000 You were so happy with it, too, back then.
00:10:25.000 Speaking of that, do you know, I mean, you have kids, so do you remember when you were 15 or 16 and you had a call like, hey, Mr. Rogan, is Sarah there?
00:10:34.000 Can I, Dr. 9 o'clock, phone off.
00:10:36.000 You know what I mean?
00:10:36.000 Those days are gone.
00:10:38.000 Our kids will never have to know the stroke.
00:10:39.000 Unless you take their phone.
00:10:41.000 You'd have to take their phone.
00:10:42.000 But do you even have a landline at home? 0.59
00:10:43.000 Yeah, I got a landline, but it's useless.
00:10:46.000 Never use it.
00:10:47.000 Most people are like that, right?
00:10:49.000 I mean, you have a landline just like in case.
00:10:52.000 I have a landline because I live in the middle of nowhere, and that's the only way I can get internet.
00:10:56.000 There's like a hamster that runs on a wheel, and every fast he's running...
00:10:58.000 It powers up my Wi-Fi, and it's terrible.
00:11:01.000 Oh, do you have one of those satellite connections?
00:11:03.000 Is that what it is?
00:11:04.000 It's a phone line.
00:11:05.000 No!
00:11:06.000 Oh, it's bad.
00:11:07.000 No, like 56k?
00:11:08.000 Like all those things?
00:11:10.000 Yeah, it's like...
00:11:10.000 You can't do anything better?
00:11:12.000 If I wanted to download a podcast, I'd have to start the download before I went to bed, and maybe by noon the next day it'll be done.
00:11:21.000 What?
00:11:22.000 Yeah, I got like 48 hour download movie time, so I gotta really plan the movie I want for a flight. 0.96
00:11:28.000 Netflix is ridiculous to you. 0.74
00:11:29.000 Oh, Netflix? 0.99
00:11:31.000 No.
00:11:31.000 Cannot load a Netflix.
00:11:33.000 You know, they have satellite internet now.
00:11:35.000 Not where I live.
00:11:35.000 No, but you can get it all over the country.
00:11:37.000 Really?
00:11:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:38.000 It's just like DirecTV.
00:11:40.000 They just point the dish at the satellite in the sky, and it's not fast as fiber optic, but it's pretty fast.
00:11:46.000 I'm gonna need to look into this.
00:11:47.000 Yeah, you gotta get that.
00:11:48.000 What I got going on is pre-biblical.
00:11:50.000 That's no good.
00:11:51.000 Yeah, that sounds horrifying.
00:11:53.000 You're living like a couple of decades ago.
00:11:56.000 Yeah, I am.
00:11:57.000 And there's nothing they can do?
00:11:58.000 They can't lay wires or anything like that?
00:12:01.000 No.
00:12:02.000 They don't have it out there in my area yet.
00:12:04.000 I've tried.
00:12:05.000 I'm gonna look into that satellite gate.
00:12:07.000 Where are you at now?
00:12:08.000 Edgewood, New Mexico, right on the backside of Santa Fe, Albuquerque.
00:12:11.000 And you're there because of Jackson's?
00:12:13.000 Because you could be close to Jackson's?
00:12:14.000 That's why.
00:12:14.000 Well, I moved to Albuquerque to help Linda Garcia with the Roger Ward to fight, and I never left.
00:12:18.000 I literally called my grandma.
00:12:19.000 Hi, Grandma.
00:12:20.000 She's watching right now live, so I'll give a shout out to my grandma.
00:12:24.000 I literally showed up for Lennar for a week, and then Greg asked me to be his 55er, and I never left.
00:12:29.000 I literally, I had a house in Colorado.
00:12:31.000 My grandma took care of everything, brought all my stuff down, and just drove, like would slowly come visit me and bring things down. 1.00
00:12:37.000 I never went home.
00:12:38.000 Wow.
00:12:38.000 It was wild, yeah.
00:12:39.000 Why was that?
00:12:40.000 You just liked it so much there?
00:12:41.000 You know, in Colorado, I was like kind of the At the gyms, I was kind of the kid that no one would put a name on.
00:12:51.000 Like, no one would claim me, right?
00:12:53.000 I was like...
00:12:53.000 Really?
00:12:54.000 Oh, man.
00:12:54.000 It was a hard time, you know?
00:12:55.000 And that's where the whole BMF ranch and, like, me giving back to people came from because, oh, drive here, go here, do this.
00:13:02.000 No one would put their name on me.
00:13:03.000 Like, Dwayne, I trained with him, but he would never put his name on me.
00:13:07.000 You know, none of the gyms would, like, claim me. 0.82
00:13:09.000 I was just, well, I was a fuck-up, you know, and it was weird. 0.69
00:13:12.000 Was that what it was? 0.99
00:13:13.000 It was just your young, crazy? 0.99
00:13:13.000 It was probably me, crazy, yeah, you know. 0.99
00:13:15.000 And they were like, this dude, I can't have this guy fighting for me.
00:13:18.000 Exactly, he's just, he's loose candy. 0.98
00:13:20.000 Too crazy. 0.99
00:13:20.000 Too crazy. 0.99
00:13:21.000 So I went on to Greg, he, like, took me in, and, like...
00:13:24.000 At that time, George and Keith Jardine and Rashad, it was like a family down there.
00:13:28.000 It was crazy, you know?
00:13:30.000 All of them were so welcoming.
00:13:32.000 So I said, this is it.
00:13:34.000 This is where I'm going to make my move. 0.64
00:13:35.000 And so you trained there, but you also built this crazy ranch, Bad Motherfucker Ranch, which is pretty awesome.
00:13:42.000 I love that you did that. 0.86
00:13:43.000 I love it.
00:13:44.000 So what made you decide to do that?
00:13:47.000 Well, I wanted a place where I could ride my four-wheeler, shoot my guns and all that.
00:13:50.000 So I looked at the city limits and land that I got in Edgewood...
00:13:54.000 To buy in Colorado would have been out of control, outrageous.
00:13:57.000 So, you know, I told my grandfather this is where I want to went.
00:13:59.000 My grandfather said, done.
00:14:01.000 I mean, on a phone call, my grandpa said, done.
00:14:03.000 Is this what you want?
00:14:03.000 Got it.
00:14:04.000 Drove down with cash in hand, bought me the property.
00:14:06.000 Really?
00:14:07.000 Man, it was the greatest dude on the planet, man.
00:14:10.000 So, yeah, and I started training there, and him and my grandma would come down, and you're going to get me fucking teary-eyed now, but, you know, it just, it was like a dream for me, and So now I'm rooted.
00:14:23.000 And so...
00:14:26.000 Did you build out there?
00:14:27.000 Was there a structure already there?
00:14:30.000 There was a house, right?
00:14:31.000 And we extended the house, built the gym.
00:14:33.000 Now I just built dorms, which if you're going to build anything, anyone listening, make sure you get your permits. 1.00
00:14:38.000 Because I, of course, didn't because I'm a fucking idiot, loser, and wild. 1.00
00:14:43.000 So I got a big red flag notice on my door. 1.00
00:14:45.000 I said, I need to get your permits done.
00:14:46.000 Got a picture here.
00:14:47.000 You want to see it?
00:14:47.000 Yeah, I do want to see it.
00:14:49.000 So what do they do?
00:14:49.000 Does it delay you any further because of red flags?
00:14:52.000 It's a cease and desist.
00:14:53.000 Don't...
00:14:55.000 Well, they don't want to...
00:14:55.000 Oh, Jesus, that is a red flag.
00:14:58.000 Yeah.
00:14:59.000 Notice the stop work.
00:15:01.000 Notice the stop work.
00:15:02.000 Bam.
00:15:03.000 So I had to jump the hoops, you know, go...
00:15:05.000 Hire somebody?
00:15:06.000 No, I had to hire anyone.
00:15:07.000 I had to spend all day.
00:15:07.000 I had to go to the Santa Fe County and really, like...
00:15:10.000 Get everything in line, show my plans, blah, blah, blah, pay the money, and basically get the ball rolling for the permits.
00:15:17.000 I got it done now. 0.93
00:15:18.000 There's places out here, like if you want to build something in Malibu, near the ocean, it takes fucking years. 0.97
00:15:23.000 And you've got to go through all sorts of red tape, and there's corruption and nonsense you have to deal with. 0.95
00:15:28.000 Exactly.
00:15:28.000 So I just built it, and I shouldn't have.
00:15:31.000 I have a buddy who lives in Topanga.
00:15:33.000 He's under the Coastal Commission. 1.00
00:15:34.000 And he just said, fuck it. 1.00
00:15:36.000 If they catch me, they catch me. 1.00
00:15:37.000 And he just did all this shit to his house. 1.00
00:15:39.000 Spent a fuckload of money on his house and just got away with it. 1.00
00:15:41.000 You can get away with it. 0.98
00:15:43.000 You can.
00:15:44.000 You can also get busted. 1.00
00:15:46.000 With fucking wires hanging out of your wall. 1.00
00:15:48.000 Stop work. 1.00
00:15:50.000 Get fined.
00:15:51.000 And then never get permits for years.
00:15:53.000 So I tried to let people learn from my mistakes.
00:15:56.000 I'm kind of the trial by fire.
00:15:58.000 That's kind of how I've lived my whole life.
00:16:00.000 So how many dorms did you build out there?
00:16:02.000 Well, as of right now, it's a glorified horse stable.
00:16:06.000 So there's no dorms being built.
00:16:09.000 Because of the work or the stoppage.
00:16:12.000 Stoppage, yeah.
00:16:12.000 So you have to wait until you get a permit again.
00:16:14.000 Yeah, so now it's a horse stable.
00:16:16.000 Because there is a horse stable underneath, a giant horse stable, and then I built...
00:16:20.000 Rooms that I'm probably going to paint in, hold my archery gear in.
00:16:24.000 I got a whole bunch of beds that I need to store in a couple.
00:16:27.000 And I got guys that come out that I'll probably store in some of those rooms with the beds.
00:16:31.000 Do you think that this is like what's going to be your transition after you're done fighting?
00:16:34.000 That you'll eventually just run a camp?
00:16:36.000 I don't know, Joe.
00:16:37.000 I just, you know, teaching to me.
00:16:39.000 Like if you and I were doing something, I could show you something you had a problem with.
00:16:43.000 But for me to like come in and teach a class would be really hard. 0.98
00:16:46.000 I don't know how that fucking even works like that. 0.81
00:16:49.000 What would be hard about it? 0.98
00:16:51.000 Maybe getting a curriculum or something that I thought out like, oh, okay, I'm going to teach this, this, and this today.
00:16:57.000 I don't know.
00:16:59.000 I see what you're saying.
00:16:59.000 Maybe if you had somebody that kind of organized it for you and you just came in or have guys like Henry or someone who's a coach already work with them.
00:17:10.000 Like Winklejohn and Jackson work together.
00:17:13.000 Sure.
00:17:14.000 Absolutely.
00:17:15.000 Yeah, I mean, I have a great, you know, Jafari in Super D Wrestling.
00:17:19.000 One of my great friends and coaches, you know, he lives out there with me.
00:17:23.000 Helps me.
00:17:24.000 He trains all the guys.
00:17:25.000 And we got, you know, Henry training with the Thai guy.
00:17:27.000 So we have a good, you know, good stable of coaching and just bringing guys in, man.
00:17:32.000 Like I said earlier...
00:17:34.000 I didn't know I have any direction.
00:17:35.000 So now, when people come, I want to be the guy, like, they ask me, what do you do for sponsorship?
00:17:39.000 Well, now it's three bucks. 0.99
00:17:39.000 We don't have a fucking choice. 0.99
00:17:40.000 But before, I could be like, hey, these guys were no-go. 0.99
00:17:44.000 They didn't pay.
00:17:45.000 They didn't do this.
00:17:46.000 You know, just, like, experiences I've had through my career.
00:17:48.000 And what do you do for cutting weight?
00:17:50.000 What do you do for this?
00:17:51.000 What do you do for that?
00:17:51.000 It's just cool to be able to answer all the questions for the up-and-coming guys, you know?
00:17:54.000 Yeah.
00:17:56.000 It's got to be a cool thing to be able to help guys in a way that, like, you wish somebody had helped you, right?
00:18:01.000 Absolutely.
00:18:03.000 Because there's a real area in the beginning of a fighter's career, especially, where they don't feel legitimate.
00:18:09.000 And sometimes a guy like you taking him in and saying, hey man, like what you're doing with Felder.
00:18:15.000 Right.
00:18:15.000 You know, a guy who's a real talented guy.
00:18:17.000 Very talented kid, yes. 1.00
00:18:19.000 You take him in, and then, boom, all of a sudden he's legit as fuck. 1.00
00:18:23.000 That's what everybody's saying, too. 1.00
00:18:25.000 It's like everybody's saying, oh, he trains with Donald. 1.00
00:18:26.000 Oh, shit, okay. 1.00
00:18:28.000 You know? 1.00
00:18:28.000 I mean, that's kind of, exactly. 1.00
00:18:30.000 There's a lot of guys that come to...
00:18:33.000 When you come, I want to be able to put my name on you, you know what I mean?
00:18:35.000 So work with you, train with you, have the coaches work with you, because when you say that you're from our stable, that's why I wanted to be a legit person.
00:18:42.000 How did you hook up with Henry Smith?
00:18:45.000 Um, through Baltimore, man.
00:18:46.000 We just kind of crossed paths years ago.
00:18:48.000 Where'd he get the name Rude Boy?
00:18:49.000 What's that?
00:18:50.000 Rude Boy Muay Thai?
00:18:51.000 I wish I had an answer for that, but I don't.
00:18:53.000 I don't know.
00:18:54.000 I don't have an answer.
00:18:54.000 I like that dude, though.
00:18:55.000 He's a great coach, too.
00:18:56.000 Sure, sure, absolutely.
00:18:57.000 Very calm and smooth in the corner.
00:18:59.000 Like, you can tell a lot about a guy and how he gives instruction in a corner.
00:19:03.000 Absolutely.
00:19:03.000 He's calm and smooth.
00:19:05.000 He's like, can I please get this?
00:19:07.000 Can I please get that?
00:19:08.000 Thank you very much.
00:19:09.000 But he also is very technical.
00:19:11.000 He's real technical in his instruction.
00:19:13.000 As a guy who watches a lot of fights, nothing drives me crazier than when someone doesn't have advice.
00:19:19.000 And they're like, go get him. 1.00
00:19:20.000 Go kick his ass. 1.00
00:19:21.000 That'd be like me, cornering Leonard. 1.00
00:19:22.000 Fuck him up, Leonard! 0.99
00:19:24.000 But for Leonard, you in the corner, like, that is kind of technical advice. 1.00
00:19:28.000 You know, Leonard's one of my all-time favorite guys to watch. 0.98
00:19:31.000 God damn it. 1.00
00:19:32.000 God damn that dude fought wild. 1.00
00:19:34.000 He's a dying breed, man. 1.00
00:19:35.000 You know, the firefighter, a dying breed, you know? 0.98
00:19:37.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:19:39.000 When Leonard was at his, you know, talking about retirement with me and everything, he's like, man, I just wish I could get a fight where someone would just stand there and fucking throw down with me.
00:19:48.000 And I'm like, Leonard, brother, those days are gone. 0.95
00:19:51.000 These guys are going to come in and take you down. 0.99
00:19:53.000 He's like, yeah, but...
00:19:54.000 No, I think this guy is going to stand up.
00:19:55.000 I'm like, no, Leonard, he's going to take you down.
00:19:57.000 So we'd have to go back and forth with that.
00:19:58.000 Then the kid would take him down because he hates wrestling and practicing wrestling.
00:20:02.000 But that's where the sport's going.
00:20:04.000 Well, the sport's going in this place where in order to win, you've got to be able to do everything.
00:20:11.000 It would be totally unpredictable.
00:20:13.000 And you've got to be able to fight smart and not put yourself in danger.
00:20:17.000 And Leonard was all about just throwing himself into danger.
00:20:21.000 Peeling the stickers off the mats with the punches.
00:20:24.000 Right? 0.95
00:20:25.000 Yeah, he would throw it from the back of his calf.
00:20:28.000 Loved it.
00:20:29.000 I mean, but those are the fights you, I mean, the Jens Pulver and Leonard Garcia fight.
00:20:33.000 Yeah.
00:20:33.000 Man!
00:20:34.000 Wild.
00:20:34.000 Right?
00:20:35.000 Oh, Leonard had a bunch of wild ones.
00:20:36.000 He had a bunch of, like, when it was over, you're just like shaking your head like, God, what did I just see?
00:20:42.000 So, the craziest thing, man, when I had the incident at Whole Foods, I don't know if you heard about it or not, when I got punched.
00:20:47.000 Yeah, somebody punched you, what, in the parking lot or something like that?
00:20:50.000 Alright, so I'll get it out now.
00:20:52.000 So I'm walking across, texting on my phone, and a guy lays on the horn.
00:20:56.000 And my girl's like, who is that?
00:20:58.000 And I look up, I don't know.
00:21:00.000 She's like, you don't know him?
00:21:00.000 I said, no.
00:21:01.000 We walk to the car.
00:21:02.000 The car goes and parks like three spots down.
00:21:05.000 And the dude gets up. 1.00
00:21:05.000 He's like, what's up, motherfucker? 1.00
00:21:07.000 And I was like, like, me? 1.00
00:21:09.000 You're talking to me? 1.00
00:21:10.000 And he's like, yeah, bitch. 1.00
00:21:12.000 And I was like, okay. 1.00
00:21:13.000 And then you smoked me in my eye.
00:21:16.000 Blew my glasses on the floor.
00:21:17.000 Now, mind you, I'm still in trial for the boat rage incident thing that's going on.
00:21:21.000 Yeah, the boat one was you head kicked some dude, right?
00:21:25.000 Allegedly.
00:21:28.000 Some dude got...
00:21:29.000 I'll get to that story after the story. 0.99
00:21:31.000 So my girl looks at me and burning fucking fire is raging out of my ears, right? 1.00
00:21:37.000 And she goes... 1.00
00:21:39.000 No.
00:21:40.000 No.
00:21:40.000 Right?
00:21:41.000 So I tell this dude, like anybody would, today's your lucky day. 1.00
00:21:45.000 The dude's like, oh yeah, motherfucker. 1.00
00:21:47.000 I bet. 1.00
00:21:48.000 Right?
00:21:48.000 And then he hocks up again to hit me again.
00:21:51.000 I said, motherfucker, if you touch me again, I'm going to kill you. 1.00
00:21:53.000 Like, I can't take two. 1.00
00:21:56.000 I cannot take two.
00:21:57.000 Right?
00:21:57.000 Leonard's there.
00:21:58.000 Right?
00:21:59.000 And so Leonard goes to hit this dude, and then he's like all Bible... 0.98
00:22:04.000 Good.
00:22:04.000 Doesn't cuss.
00:22:05.000 And he's like, frick you! 0.99
00:22:07.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:22:07.000 Yeah, man. 0.99
00:22:08.000 He's like, on this new...
00:22:09.000 He's like, on this new... 1.00
00:22:13.000 Boy, the fucking guy gets lucky. 1.00
00:22:15.000 That guy got so lucky, he probably thinks he's such a badass. 1.00
00:22:18.000 And we were in...
00:22:19.000 We just literally got training.
00:22:21.000 Done training.
00:22:22.000 So we're in, like, training gear.
00:22:23.000 Right. 0.99
00:22:24.000 We went to Whole Foods, get some shit to drink. 0.94
00:22:26.000 And so he's like, you want to be UFC fighters? 0.98
00:22:28.000 What the...
00:22:28.000 Oh, that's so hilarious.
00:22:30.000 Oh, my God, man.
00:22:31.000 So, uh...
00:22:32.000 I just got my car and drove away.
00:22:34.000 You don't know who that guy is.
00:22:35.000 I have no clue. 1.00
00:22:36.000 Whoever you are, bitch. 1.00
00:22:37.000 Whoever you are, bitch. 1.00
00:22:38.000 You got lucky as fuck. 1.00
00:22:39.000 That was your lucky day. 1.00
00:22:41.000 Alright, so anyways, boat rage.
00:22:42.000 Boat rage.
00:22:43.000 This is what happened.
00:22:45.000 We're up at Grand Lake.
00:22:47.000 The reason I go to Grand Lake is it's freezing cold.
00:22:49.000 No one goes to Grand Lake to wakeboard because it's cold.
00:22:52.000 People don't like cold water.
00:22:53.000 Where's Grand Lake?
00:22:54.000 Colorado, up in the mountains. 0.97
00:22:56.000 Fucking super deep, freezing cold lake, but the water's beautiful. 0.98
00:23:01.000 So this guy lived there. 0.98
00:23:02.000 He's seen my boat.
00:23:04.000 And he told in the police station, he's seen us there the week before.
00:23:07.000 And he called it massaging and making love to my boat.
00:23:09.000 Because, yeah, it's an expensive boat. 0.98
00:23:11.000 I fucking take care of it. 0.99
00:23:11.000 Wax it. 0.99
00:23:12.000 Make sure it's clean.
00:23:14.000 He's upset that you take care of your boat?
00:23:16.000 I guess.
00:23:16.000 That's what the police reporter said.
00:23:18.000 So he...
00:23:19.000 My buddy Mike, he's fishing off the back of my boat.
00:23:23.000 The guy comes in.
00:23:24.000 Woo! 0.99
00:23:25.000 Having fun.
00:23:25.000 He has like a Ski-Doo jet ski boat.
00:23:29.000 And he comes feet away and, like, sprays water up on Mike.
00:23:33.000 He washes my boat up onto the rocks.
00:23:35.000 Now, I got Cody Donovan, at the time, was fighting in the UFC. And three or four other fighters, nine of us.
00:23:41.000 There was nine of us who were camping out for the weekend. 1.00
00:23:43.000 And Cody's irate, like, fuck! 1.00
00:23:46.000 Let's go get him! 1.00
00:23:47.000 The girls settle us down.
00:23:48.000 We don't, right?
00:23:49.000 So later on, about an hour and a half later, we go out and go wakeboarding.
00:23:52.000 Well, with my boat, you've got to fill the ballast tanks up.
00:23:54.000 So you have to, like, kind of sit idle and let the tanks fill.
00:23:57.000 So while we're sitting there idling the tanks fill, he's down in the area.
00:24:02.000 So we're, like, sitting there letting the tanks fill.
00:24:04.000 He's, like, flexing his muscles from the shore.
00:24:06.000 He's saying, which one of you?
00:24:07.000 Because he wants something, bro.
00:24:09.000 Out of control.
00:24:11.000 So he gets in his boat and he comes flying up next to my boat.
00:24:15.000 Completely lets go of his steering wheel and runs to the front of his boat and his boat just goes bink and hits my boat. 0.99
00:24:20.000 And I'm like, oh my god, dude, what the fuck are you doing? 1.00
00:24:23.000 And he's like, which one of you pussies wants some shit? 1.00
00:24:26.000 Oh my god. 1.00
00:24:27.000 We were like, um, what?
00:24:30.000 So everyone bickering starts happening, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1.00
00:24:33.000 Anyways, the dude says, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna run my boat into your boat. 1.00
00:24:37.000 He's like wasted drunk. 1.00
00:24:39.000 Tears off. 1.00
00:24:40.000 Flips a bitch and comes beadlining for my boat. 1.00
00:24:44.000 Now, had this not been the situation we were in, I would have congratulated this dude for the most epic fucking water spray I have ever seen thrown into another person's boat. 0.99
00:24:55.000 Because at the last second, he cuts and throws the most massive wave that just drenches everyone's phone and just hits you like a tidal wave. 0.93
00:25:03.000 And I was like... 0.97
00:25:04.000 Fucking pissed so I drive the boat to the shore and I get off the boat and I run about 200 yards down the shore trying to get him to come to me because my girl stood up and she's like that's fucking it and that's all I had to hear when I heard when she stood up and you know she's like that's it that's it you know what I'm saying that was it that was it that's all I needed to know okay that's it so I try to get this dude to run to me He does not. 0.99
00:25:26.000 He comes straight from my girl. 0.99
00:25:29.000 Gets off his boat, pointing his finger at her.
00:25:32.000 So I just walk right past, step in front of him.
00:25:34.000 I just front-teep him in his stomach, like set him down in the sand. 0.99
00:25:37.000 Like, chill the fuck out. 0.99
00:25:39.000 A lot of crazy gorilla pounding this dude in the sand is going through my mind. 0.99
00:25:43.000 Right.
00:25:44.000 I don't.
00:25:44.000 I was training myself.
00:25:45.000 And the dude gets up and tries to hit me with the old sneaker right hand.
00:25:48.000 Oh, God.
00:25:49.000 So I just slip. 0.93
00:25:50.000 And I head kick him lightly, Joe.
00:25:53.000 When I say lightly, it was very lightly.
00:25:56.000 Just like a boom.
00:25:58.000 And sit him down. 1.00
00:25:59.000 And I'm like, you motherfucker. 1.00
00:26:01.000 Don't even know what the fuck I said. 1.00
00:26:03.000 He won't get up. 0.99
00:26:04.000 Dude won't get up now. 0.99
00:26:06.000 So I literally sit down right next to him, like, you fucking... 0.99
00:26:09.000 I don't know what to do, and I want to just rip this dude's heart out, right? 0.99
00:26:14.000 Right. 0.94
00:26:14.000 But I start backhanding him, like, bah, bah! 0.94
00:26:17.000 While he's sitting next to him?
00:26:18.000 While he's sitting next to him, like, shoulder to shoulder.
00:26:20.000 What a weird scene!
00:26:21.000 What a weird dude.
00:26:23.000 That's the only thing I can, in the fit of rage, I mean, I can think to do.
00:26:28.000 So Cody grabs me, you know, like, enough's enough.
00:26:30.000 And as soon as I do that, the kid rolls over, takes out his phone, takes a picture of me, takes a picture of my boat.
00:26:36.000 Oh, God.
00:26:37.000 He dials 911. And I was like, good!
00:26:39.000 Call 911, you fucking idiot! 1.00
00:26:41.000 So the dude calls 911. I'll show up. 1.00
00:26:44.000 I said, yeah, this dude's drunk.
00:26:45.000 He says, man, I'm only drunk because this dude embarrassed me in front of all of my friends, so I had a drink to get over...
00:26:53.000 What had just happened.
00:26:54.000 What?
00:26:54.000 Yeah.
00:26:55.000 How did you embarrass him?
00:26:56.000 By cleaning your boat?
00:26:57.000 Oh no, because I head kicked him in front of his friends.
00:26:59.000 Oh, but before that, the massaging...
00:27:03.000 Dude, so he had a lot of people with him.
00:27:05.000 He had like a big camp group.
00:27:06.000 So we go to court.
00:27:07.000 We fight.
00:27:08.000 It's like a two-year process I'm going through.
00:27:10.000 All the guys that he's with, their police statements match mine.
00:27:14.000 He was talking about us all day, two weeks.
00:27:17.000 He was chasing us down.
00:27:18.000 He wanted a piece of it.
00:27:18.000 So, I mean, it all got dropped and dismissed.
00:27:21.000 But he tried to come out to me for $50,000, and it was just unbelievable.
00:27:24.000 Well, it's amazing how nice you were about it.
00:27:27.000 A little front kick to the chest?
00:27:29.000 A little baby head kick?
00:27:31.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:27:33.000 And what I just told you there is the same story his people told me.
00:27:35.000 I'm not exaggerating.
00:27:36.000 I didn't just haul off and beat him down, which I... I think I'm maturing in my...
00:27:41.000 You are.
00:27:41.000 You are maturing.
00:27:42.000 I am.
00:27:42.000 I've been meaning to tell you that.
00:27:44.000 It's just amazing how people will try to sue over things like that.
00:27:47.000 Like, that becomes like the lottery to them.
00:27:50.000 Yeah.
00:27:50.000 Do you know the two guys sued?
00:27:52.000 People always ask, like, hey man, can you take a picture choking me?
00:27:55.000 Like, the UFC doesn't want anybody choking anybody in pictures.
00:27:58.000 I've been told that, so I tell them no.
00:28:00.000 Chuck Liddell and Matt Hughes were both sued.
00:28:02.000 The Matt Hughes story is kind of hilarious because the guy asked Matt Hughes to put him in a rear naked choke for a picture.
00:28:08.000 So Matt Hughes does.
00:28:09.000 And then the guy says, hey, look, I got evidence.
00:28:11.000 This guy choked me and he hurt me.
00:28:12.000 So he tries to sue.
00:28:13.000 Well, they do an investigation on the guy and find out the guy's a cop.
00:28:16.000 Right. 0.96
00:28:17.000 And then they dig deeper and find out he's a dirty cop. 0.82
00:28:19.000 And the dude winds up getting popped and goes to jail. 0.85
00:28:23.000 Because of that.
00:28:24.000 And the Chuck Liddell one, I'm pretty sure Chuck had to wind up paying something.
00:28:28.000 Chuck was one of the first ones.
00:28:30.000 Three times.
00:28:30.000 Three times.
00:28:31.000 Three times I've been sued. 1.00
00:28:32.000 Damn. 1.00
00:28:33.000 My neighbor sued me. 1.00
00:28:35.000 For what?
00:28:36.000 He said that my dogs attacked his horse.
00:28:42.000 Did they?
00:28:42.000 No, absolutely not.
00:28:44.000 Somebody else's dog did, but I was his neighbor, so he said, mind the guy just moved in, and his horse ran through the fence.
00:28:50.000 Well, if you're any kind of a horse owner at all, you can't just move into somewhere and take the reins off your horse and let him go.
00:28:57.000 Well, he has no idea what the perimeter...
00:28:59.000 You need to take your horse out and walk the perimeter.
00:29:01.000 He lets his horse...
00:29:02.000 The horse runs through the fence.
00:29:03.000 He said to my dogs, chase him through the fence. 0.95
00:29:06.000 It was cheaper for me just to pay the guy off than to go to court and fight it.
00:29:11.000 Oh...
00:29:11.000 So, it's just unbelievable, man.
00:29:14.000 That kind of shit drives me fucking crazy. 1.00
00:29:17.000 My old roommate, me and Leonard Garcia used to live in, we'd have guys come down for training camp. 1.00
00:29:24.000 This lady got us good, man. 1.00
00:29:26.000 When I bought this new house, we moved in, she then claimed, sued us that we were subleasing our rent out to our training partners.
00:29:34.000 What?
00:29:35.000 $12,000 and I had to pay her.
00:29:36.000 What?
00:29:37.000 $12,000. 1.00
00:29:38.000 What does she give a fuck? 1.00
00:29:39.000 I don't understand it. 1.00
00:29:40.000 She must have been hurting for money. 1.00
00:29:42.000 So, she was your old... 0.82
00:29:45.000 She owned the house at one point in time?
00:29:46.000 Did you know who...
00:29:47.000 Ricky, he used to work for Jackson's...
00:29:49.000 Great Jackson's guy.
00:29:50.000 I probably would if I saw him.
00:29:52.000 Yeah, anyway, so the lady's hurting for money, right? 1.00
00:29:54.000 She needs to... 1.00
00:29:55.000 She's renting her house, the house she's living in.
00:29:57.000 I get...
00:29:58.000 Ricky buys her house from her.
00:29:59.000 I tell her, hey, we'll move out now so you can move back into your house because you're foreclosing. 1.00
00:30:04.000 So we make this all work, right?
00:30:06.000 I work with the lady. 1.00
00:30:07.000 She's a realtor. 0.99
00:30:08.000 I use her as my realtor to buy my ranch. 1.00
00:30:11.000 That's how fucking crazy this gets. 0.98
00:30:13.000 Right? 0.99
00:30:14.000 So I use her.
00:30:15.000 We do this.
00:30:16.000 Soon as we get the paperwork done, she turns around and sues us for subleasing our rent out. 1.00
00:30:20.000 And my grandma's on and she can vouch for this. 0.99
00:30:22.000 Fucking crazy. 0.98
00:30:23.000 She said that the whole time we were there, we were having people come down to train and we were renting it out to them. 0.99
00:30:29.000 And making money off of her property.
00:30:31.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:30:31.000 And of course, I got the notices to go to court while I don't show up to court, so they passed the ruling and then...
00:30:38.000 So had I went to court, I probably could have fought it, but I didn't.
00:30:41.000 I was like, yeah, whatever.
00:30:42.000 But even if you do, it takes forever.
00:30:43.000 The problem with those things is, it's like these...
00:30:46.000 Do you know what a patent troll is?
00:30:48.000 Mm-mm.
00:30:49.000 Patent trolls are...
00:30:50.000 They get patents on things.
00:30:52.000 They buy patents.
00:30:53.000 They own patents.
00:30:54.000 And then they'll sue a company like Apple.
00:30:57.000 They were going after podcasters for a while.
00:31:01.000 And what they do is they'll...
00:31:03.000 They went after Adam Carolla for something, some sort of patent, and they went after a few other people.
00:31:08.000 But Apple had to wind up paying like 7 million bucks or something like that. 0.80
00:31:12.000 Because for Apple, they have so much fucking money, it's easier for them to pay off a patent troll than it is to address it in court, spend all their resources. 0.82
00:31:22.000 The UFC is doing that antitrust lawsuit. 0.98
00:31:25.000 They're like, this is going to cost Give them a hundred million dollars in legal fees.
00:31:30.000 But it's either that or pay people off.
00:31:33.000 They'd rather spend the money.
00:31:34.000 They'd rather pay the legal fees.
00:31:36.000 Yeah.
00:31:36.000 Well, because principal for them.
00:31:38.000 Yeah.
00:31:39.000 Well, principal and also sets a precedent.
00:31:41.000 Sure.
00:31:42.000 If you start paying out, then other people start coming out of the woodwork. 0.98
00:31:45.000 But it's a weird world we live in where you could just sue over shit like that. 0.99
00:31:51.000 Alpha brain, son. 1.00
00:31:52.000 Alpha brain, son.
00:31:54.000 It's good for you. 0.90
00:31:54.000 You got that big-ass Onnit package, right? 0.90
00:31:56.000 God, I love it. 0.92
00:31:57.000 I love the picture you sent of you balancing the mace on your chin.
00:32:01.000 20-pound mace, that's it.
00:32:02.000 How'd you do that, man?
00:32:03.000 The balancing of the mace was good, but holding the kettlebell while doing it was suspect. 0.99
00:32:09.000 How the fuck did you pull that off? 1.00
00:32:11.000 Because I'm a fucking super-athletic alpha fucking pimp. 1.00
00:32:15.000 LAUGHTER Okay, that's a good answer. 1.00
00:32:20.000 I mean, I don't know. 0.89
00:32:21.000 And when we were at Elevate, which is a strength conditioning, where you guys sent a whole bunch of those maces to, and they were like, you're going to fucking knock your teeth out. 0.98
00:32:30.000 And I was like, well, then I'll be a toothless motherfucker, but let's do this. 0.99
00:32:36.000 You're constantly doing shit like that, right? 1.00
00:32:38.000 Why not? 0.99
00:32:38.000 You're constantly wakeboarding, jumping snowmobiles over the top of cliffs. 0.99
00:32:42.000 I can't wait.
00:32:42.000 El Nino, baby?
00:32:44.000 Come on! 0.61
00:32:45.000 Colorado's gonna be unreal this year.
00:32:46.000 I cannot wait.
00:32:47.000 Everybody's hoping for that.
00:32:48.000 Yeah.
00:32:49.000 But I don't know if that's real.
00:32:50.000 I hope so.
00:32:50.000 They keep saying that the way the temperature of the water...
00:32:53.000 California's like desperately hoping for it.
00:32:55.000 I was just surfing it with nothing this morning.
00:32:57.000 It was great. 0.99
00:32:58.000 Oh, it's warm as fuck. 0.99
00:32:58.000 Warm, super warm, yeah. 0.99
00:32:59.000 Well, they have yellowtail. 0.96
00:33:00.000 They've had yellowtail all over the coast around Santa Monica and Malibu, which is, you know, usually you gotta go out to fucking Hawaii to get those. 0.93
00:33:08.000 Sure, sure. 0.73
00:33:08.000 So, they're pretty excited about it. 0.73
00:33:10.000 People think that this is gonna change, but, you know...
00:33:13.000 Trying to guess what Mother Nature is going to do a few months from now. 0.66
00:33:16.000 Unless you do the Farmer's Almac.
00:33:18.000 Then you can maybe key in a little bit. 0.98
00:33:20.000 How the fuck do those work? 0.96
00:33:21.000 I have no idea. 0.99
00:33:22.000 I don't know either.
00:33:23.000 I don't know either, but they are damn sure on. 0.75
00:33:25.000 They're damn sure on.
00:33:26.000 What kind of hocus pocus are they using to figure that out? 0.89
00:33:29.000 Maybe the Mayan calendar.
00:33:31.000 I don't know.
00:33:32.000 That didn't work out, though.
00:33:33.000 We're still here three years later.
00:33:35.000 We're fine.
00:33:36.000 Here we are.
00:33:37.000 I was convinced, dude.
00:33:38.000 Like, way back in 2006, I was like, December 21st, dude.
00:33:41.000 It's done.
00:33:42.000 2012. It's all done.
00:33:43.000 All done.
00:33:43.000 So were you on the computer during a crash at 2000?
00:33:46.000 Oh, yeah, I was hiding.
00:33:48.000 Yeah, when 2000 came around, I was hiding.
00:33:50.000 I stayed at home, stockpiled water, the whole deal.
00:33:52.000 I was listening to Art Bell.
00:33:54.000 I need to start stockpiling water.
00:33:55.000 I have stockpiled food, but I need to do the water.
00:33:58.000 Why don't you have a well?
00:33:59.000 You're on the middle of nowhere. 0.99
00:34:00.000 But the problem is the wells suck. 0.99
00:34:02.000 Well suck. 1.00
00:34:03.000 Not that good? 0.98
00:34:04.000 I had a well in Colorado and it was really good.
00:34:06.000 Well, for you, but if you have 20 people come to your house and take showers, they just can't keep up.
00:34:11.000 And then you have water heaters and everything like that.
00:34:15.000 Well, you're out there.
00:34:16.000 Are you on solar?
00:34:18.000 No, I wish.
00:34:18.000 I need to be.
00:34:19.000 I'm on propane.
00:34:21.000 Are you really? 0.99
00:34:22.000 Oh no, you have like a giant fucking white tank on those things? 1.00
00:34:25.000 Three of them. 1.00
00:34:25.000 Oh fucking Christ. 1.00
00:34:26.000 And if some asshole comes and trains at my house and forgets to turn the heater off in the gym, $1,500 overnight. 1.00
00:34:32.000 Oh no! 1.00
00:34:33.000 And then I come in the house fucking ripping and roaring. 1.00
00:34:36.000 Who the fuck? 1.00
00:34:36.000 And everyone's like, wouldn't me. 1.00
00:34:38.000 Of course.
00:34:39.000 $1,500 bucks to keep that.
00:34:42.000 Especially in the winter, right?
00:34:43.000 And the funny thing is the propane company's like, oh, you don't want to pay?
00:34:46.000 We won't bring any more propane. 0.99
00:34:47.000 We don't give a shit. 0.99
00:34:48.000 Oh, God. 1.00
00:34:49.000 So you have to.
00:34:50.000 You got to keep warm.
00:34:51.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:34:52.000 Fuck that, dude. 1.00
00:34:53.000 You should have a fireplace in that gym. 1.00
00:34:55.000 Right.
00:34:56.000 Who's going to stoke it?
00:34:58.000 Today you're the stalker.
00:35:00.000 Go split the wood and stalk fireflies.
00:35:02.000 Do you have wood out there?
00:35:02.000 Do you have forest?
00:35:04.000 No, no forest.
00:35:05.000 We've got cacti.
00:35:06.000 Cacti? 1.00
00:35:07.000 Can you cook cacti in a fucking... 1.00
00:35:08.000 Not really, right? 1.00
00:35:09.000 No, but we goddamn wonder if you can get some peyote out of it. 0.95
00:35:12.000 I don't know. 0.91
00:35:12.000 Well, you'd have to have a very specific cactus. 0.91
00:35:14.000 Because we are.
00:35:14.000 We are.
00:35:15.000 We are.
00:35:16.000 San Pedro.
00:35:17.000 Is that what it is?
00:35:18.000 You know, I have no idea, but we're in the...
00:35:21.000 That's where they do it in Young Guns. 0.97
00:35:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:35:23.000 Well, not only that... 1.00
00:35:24.000 Tent Rock, where they film, You're in the Spirit Road, asshole! 1.00
00:35:27.000 That's miles down the road from me. 1.00
00:35:29.000 That is where.
00:35:30.000 Yeah, Tent Rock.
00:35:31.000 Yeah, that's where they...
00:35:32.000 You know, they only were doing that for the last couple hundred years.
00:35:35.000 Like, everybody thinks that that was, like, thousands of years old.
00:35:38.000 No evidence.
00:35:39.000 No evidence that the Native Americans were using Palety more than a couple hundred years.
00:35:43.000 But, um...
00:35:44.000 How did they... 0.99
00:35:46.000 Okay, marijuana, peyote, what are they like, let's just smoke this shit up? 0.99
00:35:50.000 How does that, who's the guinea pig on that? 0.99
00:35:53.000 It's a good question. 0.94
00:35:54.000 Like, peyote, like, oh, let's just boil some cactus and oops, now I'm fucking tripping, so that was cool. 0.89
00:36:00.000 This is a real good question. 0.97
00:36:01.000 There's a lot of those things out there that, like, how the fuck did they ever figure that out? 0.99
00:36:05.000 Meth, like, oh, battery acid, and, like, cool, let's fucking smoke this. 1.00
00:36:09.000 Tylenol and shit. 1.00
00:36:10.000 Yeah, gross. 1.00
00:36:10.000 Kick cold medicine. 1.00
00:36:12.000 All you meth users out there, Ixnay, boys, yucky. 1.00
00:36:15.000 Well, there's very few good cooks.
00:36:16.000 That's why, you know, Breaking Bad made a lot of sense. 0.99
00:36:19.000 You know, you need a real fucking chemist. 0.99
00:36:21.000 You need a chemist. 1.00
00:36:22.000 But, like, the ayahuasca one is a crazy one.
00:36:24.000 They've been using that for, like, 10,000 years.
00:36:26.000 You've got to take the leaves of one plant and the vine.
00:36:29.000 Is that what your buddy does?
00:36:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:36:31.000 And they boil it down.
00:36:33.000 It's DMT in a drinkable form, because otherwise DMT, the only way you can take it is you have to extract it and smoke it.
00:36:39.000 I've experienced DMT in real life.
00:36:41.000 Yeah?
00:36:42.000 I don't want to have my accident.
00:36:43.000 One night my guts were hanging out of me.
00:36:45.000 What happened with your guts?
00:36:47.000 So that's where I got this giant scar.
00:36:48.000 What is that?
00:36:49.000 I wrecked a four-wheeler.
00:36:51.000 Yeah?
00:36:53.000 Broke all my ribs.
00:36:55.000 Anyway, I was in the hospital. 0.99
00:36:56.000 I took the flight for life to the hospital and I remember laying there and Laying in the gurney had me strapped down because I was a fucking lunatic and I remember tipping the gurney over and I had to throw up and I threw up blood all over this poor nurse and she like did this little weird oh god I just got blood thrown up on me action and then I remember they set me back up and it was like the most peaceful feeling like everything was just okay like no pain Fucking, 0.99
00:37:23.000 like, dying was okay, as stupid as that sounds, and crazy, like, it was just, it was just okay. 0.99
00:37:29.000 I felt the best I ever felt in my life. 1.00
00:37:32.000 Wow.
00:37:32.000 It was, like, supernatural, man.
00:37:34.000 It was crazy.
00:37:35.000 Like, I was in so much pain, like... 0.99
00:37:38.000 So I'm in the goddamn ambulance. 0.98
00:37:40.000 They're taking me and there's a new guy in there. 0.99
00:37:42.000 So my lungs are punctured.
00:37:44.000 So they have this huge needle. 0.99
00:37:45.000 And the guy's telling the other guy how to fucking... 0.99
00:37:48.000 Because I guess you puncture your lung and then your air comes back, right? 0.99
00:37:51.000 And the guy's like walking the new guy through. 1.00
00:37:54.000 And I was like, fuck no! 0.99
00:37:55.000 I'm like... 1.00
00:37:57.000 I can't really say fuck no, but yeah, I was like, no, you do it! 0.99
00:38:02.000 Don't get the new guy to work on my lungs. 1.00
00:38:04.000 Not today, not today, motherfucker! 0.99
00:38:06.000 So, but anyway, I tipped the gurney over, so much pain, and they write me back up, and everything was just okay. 0.99
00:38:14.000 It went like this crystal-y blue haze, and I woke up...
00:38:19.000 Like two weeks later, strangling my grandma.
00:38:23.000 Two weeks later?
00:38:24.000 So you were in a coma?
00:38:24.000 Yeah, well, I was like a medical-induced...
00:38:26.000 Wow.
00:38:27.000 Maybe not two weeks.
00:38:28.000 How old were you when this happened?
00:38:29.000 It was 2006. June something of 2006. My grandma was...
00:38:33.000 Yeah, and I remember...
00:38:34.000 So you were already fighting in the WEC at this time?
00:38:37.000 Were you?
00:38:38.000 When did you start fighting?
00:38:39.000 2009?
00:38:40.000 So, talk about me doing crazy shit that I probably shouldn't because I get hurt and I don't want to be able to fight.
00:38:45.000 I did this giant kickboxing and won a world title and I won a spot to go fight in front of the king of Thailand. 0.92
00:38:51.000 And I was supposed to leave that weekend that I went out racing motocross.
00:38:55.000 Wow. 0.99
00:38:56.000 We'll miss that fucking boat, but hey. 0.98
00:38:59.000 Well, that boat is not very, there's not a lot of money in fighting for the king of Thailand anyway. 0.96
00:39:04.000 No, but I mean, so the kickball, the only reason I got into fighting was because, A, I love, it was like my favorite thing to do and the whole world still is, but I would just see the world.
00:39:12.000 They'd call me, and I was the guy they would call.
00:39:15.000 You know, everyone talks about taking short notice. 0.98
00:39:17.000 I was like, Calbee, you're crazy.
00:39:18.000 Like, man, I used to take fights on three days, and I'm taking them on four weeks now. 0.99
00:39:21.000 I'm fucking good. 0.91
00:39:22.000 So they'd call me. 0.93
00:39:23.000 I was their guy.
00:39:23.000 They'd call and be like, hey, we need you in Japan.
00:39:27.000 It's Wednesday.
00:39:27.000 We need you there Saturday.
00:39:28.000 And I'm like, cool, let's go. 0.98
00:39:29.000 And I'd go, and fucking me and my buddy Mike Baldwin, who's like my best friend still to this day, who comes to everyone in my fights, would get off the plane, hit Roppongi. 0.98
00:39:37.000 I don't know if he... 0.99
00:39:37.000 Roppongi is like... 0.99
00:39:39.000 Yeah, the party.
00:39:40.000 I remember sometimes I was so hungover for weigh-ins that I'm trying to drink Gatorades and recoup my brain just to weigh in.
00:39:51.000 Just to square up, just to weigh in.
00:39:53.000 That's hilarious.
00:39:55.000 Fighting, which is something I did to pay for my trip To go see the world.
00:40:00.000 Right, right.
00:40:00.000 So fun.
00:40:01.000 Those days were...
00:40:02.000 I mean, I still live them today.
00:40:03.000 You know, fighting me...
00:40:04.000 People make such a big deal.
00:40:05.000 I see, like, Felder's a perfect example, man.
00:40:08.000 They take it so serious.
00:40:10.000 Fighting is not that serious.
00:40:11.000 Felder takes it too seriously?
00:40:12.000 Too serious, man.
00:40:13.000 That's one thing I try and teach these guys. 1.00
00:40:14.000 Like, man, you drink beer, you fucking alcoholic, you piece of shit. 1.00
00:40:17.000 That's what I hear all the time. 1.00
00:40:19.000 Yeah, so what?
00:40:19.000 I drink beer.
00:40:20.000 I like to drink beer.
00:40:22.000 Cold, refreshing Budweiser.
00:40:23.000 See that?
00:40:23.000 You got that, man?
00:40:26.000 I like to drink beer.
00:40:27.000 I like to have a good time, but...
00:40:29.000 People quit their life.
00:40:30.000 Eight weeks.
00:40:31.000 They're like, can't eat that.
00:40:32.000 Can't do this.
00:40:33.000 Can't go out.
00:40:34.000 I have this huge fight in my life.
00:40:36.000 How is it the biggest fight of your life?
00:40:37.000 I mean, it's the same like this Dos Anjos fight coming up January or December 19th, Orlando, Florida.
00:40:42.000 World title.
00:40:43.000 Biggest fight of my life. 0.98
00:40:44.000 Goddamn right. 0.99
00:40:45.000 I'm going to drink beer and fucking have a good time and probably get there 10 days early and go wakeboarding. 0.99
00:40:49.000 Really? 0.98
00:40:49.000 Oh my god, why not? 0.98
00:40:51.000 So you're just going to treat it like it's any other part of your life?
00:40:54.000 Yeah, because back in the day when I used to fight, he'd be on two, three days' notice.
00:40:57.000 I had nothing to worry about.
00:40:57.000 It's just a fight.
00:40:58.000 I love it.
00:40:59.000 But would you worry about an incident happening, like the incident that kept you from going and fighting for the king of Thailand?
00:41:04.000 I mean, that's...
00:41:06.000 That's the real, I mean, the big thing is to win the title, right?
00:41:10.000 Most guys, when they get to your position, they kind of start playing it safe.
00:41:14.000 That's the difference between you and a lot of these guys.
00:41:16.000 Because a lot of guys are wild in the beginning, but then somewhere along the line, they start realizing the consequences and the stakes, and they start playing it safe.
00:41:25.000 Yeah, I just thought I'd play it safe kind of guy.
00:41:27.000 Yeah, I could go wakeboarding the week of the fight and blow my knee out.
00:41:31.000 Sure.
00:41:32.000 I'll probably still fight.
00:41:33.000 With a blown knee.
00:41:34.000 Sure. 1.00
00:41:35.000 Just tape that bitch up. 1.00
00:41:36.000 Tape it up. 1.00
00:41:36.000 See what's up. 1.00
00:41:37.000 Just a couple shots of Jack.
00:41:38.000 Get it going, man.
00:41:39.000 A couple shots of Jack.
00:41:40.000 I was thinking of cortisone. 0.99
00:41:44.000 Well, there's all sorts of shit that they can do now to sort of help you a little bit, short term. 0.98
00:41:49.000 Sure, sure. 0.99
00:41:50.000 Blown out knee's never a good time.
00:41:51.000 No, no, I mean...
00:41:53.000 I've had a couple of blown on my knees.
00:41:54.000 Have you had any surgeries other than the stomach?
00:41:57.000 No, no surgeries.
00:41:59.000 That's amazing.
00:42:00.000 Yeah. 0.85
00:42:01.000 In fact, before my last fight, I was supposed to get an MRI on my knees and I had an MRI on my chest because my fucking ribs were so separated and I made it very crystal clear to the UFC, I will go get this MRI. But regardless of the outcome, 0.86
00:42:18.000 if it comes, I'm still fighting.
00:42:20.000 Is that okay with you guys?
00:42:21.000 And they said yes, so I was like, fine.
00:42:22.000 They wanted you to get an MRI? Yeah, you wanted to get it.
00:42:24.000 They wanted me to.
00:42:25.000 They wanted you to get it.
00:42:26.000 So, you were complaining of some pain, maybe, or you were realizing there was something wrong?
00:42:30.000 Yeah, I had, like, my chest was super separated.
00:42:32.000 Like, I couldn't even take a break, just pop, pop, pop, like, my solar plexus.
00:42:35.000 So, uh...
00:42:36.000 I went to Dallas and I went and trained with some kids in a gym and a dude threw a knee with no shin pad and just crushed me in my solar plex and separated it bad.
00:42:47.000 What fight was this for?
00:42:48.000 The Mideski fight.
00:42:50.000 Really?
00:42:51.000 Yeah, the last fight. 1.00
00:42:52.000 Damn. 1.00
00:42:53.000 The one that was supposed to be with Khabib that he pulled out for the third fucking time. 1.00
00:42:56.000 That guy gets hurt a lot. 1.00
00:42:57.000 His knees are all fucked up. 1.00
00:42:59.000 Fucked up. 1.00
00:42:59.000 A lot of those guys that are fucking... 1.00
00:43:01.000 Like Kane. 1.00
00:43:03.000 Right. 1.00
00:43:03.000 A lot of those fucking guys are super strong mentally, just ridiculously aggressive. 1.00
00:43:09.000 Those guys wind up blowing shit out. 1.00
00:43:11.000 Like Kane's blowing out his knee. 0.99
00:43:12.000 He's blowing out his shoulder.
00:43:13.000 Both shoulders had surgeries on him. 1.00
00:43:15.000 Fuck. 1.00
00:43:16.000 Yeah, that style of fighting, especially that intense grappling style. 1.00
00:43:20.000 Like, there's way less injuries in kickboxing and in stand-up striking, like boxing. 0.97
00:43:25.000 How many fucking fights get cancelled in boxing? 0.99
00:43:29.000 It's rare as fuck, right? 1.00
00:43:31.000 Very rare. 0.99
00:43:31.000 Very rare. 0.99
00:43:32.000 How many fights has Mayweather said, oh, I can't pull, yeah.
00:43:35.000 Almost, I don't know, I can't remember a big fight ever.
00:43:39.000 I mean, it would have to be something severe.
00:43:41.000 And usually it's like during strength and conditioning training or something.
00:43:45.000 Or running or something, maybe.
00:43:47.000 But it's very rare that someone pulls out of a box.
00:43:50.000 Or they'd have to break their hand or something like that.
00:43:52.000 But it's rare.
00:43:53.000 But in MMA? God damn, it's common as fuck. 1.00
00:43:56.000 Well, there's so many weird scrambling situations that you get involved in. 1.00
00:43:59.000 You bring in guys to train with and sometimes those guys...
00:44:03.000 That's the other thing, what you just said, the bringing in guys to train with.
00:44:07.000 Man, I think that is one of the biggest mistakes that guys make is that these young guys that they bring into camp, they don't even know these guys.
00:44:13.000 These guys try to make a name.
00:44:14.000 If you brought me in to train with you, Joe... 1.00
00:44:18.000 I'm fucking you up. 0.99
00:44:19.000 Right, yeah, you want to. 1.00
00:44:21.000 I'm not gonna let you beat me down. 0.97
00:44:23.000 Especially if you're coming into a champ's camp or a guy who's a high-level guy who's well-respected, they want to say, dude, Donald Cerrone came into blah blah blah's camp and fucked him up. 1.00
00:44:33.000 Oh shit, really? 0.99
00:44:34.000 I mean, that's what happens. 1.00
00:44:35.000 You gotta have your friends.
00:44:37.000 You gotta have your friends.
00:44:38.000 A lot of guys do it the right way. 0.99
00:44:40.000 Like, what you're doing at the bad motherfucker ranch. 0.98
00:44:42.000 All those guys are family, right? 0.99
00:44:44.000 Yeah, absolutely.
00:44:45.000 Speaking of family, like Felder, people are like, Cali, you want him to lose. 0.99
00:44:49.000 Like, the fuck I do? 0.99
00:44:50.000 What does him losing do to me? 1.00
00:44:51.000 You can't respond to those people. 1.00
00:44:52.000 God, the fuck. 1.00
00:44:54.000 I live in 6th Colma Lane, Edgewood, New Mexico. 1.00
00:44:56.000 Any of you motherfuckers want to come? 1.00
00:44:58.000 You can't. 1.00
00:44:58.000 You can't. 1.00
00:44:59.000 You can't get involved.
00:45:00.000 What that is, you're opening yourself up to the retards of the world. 1.00
00:45:03.000 Oh, my God, bro. 0.81
00:45:04.000 Yeah.
00:45:04.000 And, you know, at your stand-up, you talk about the people that comment on a YouTube video.
00:45:08.000 Yeah.
00:45:09.000 Those...
00:45:10.000 I feel the same. 1.00
00:45:11.000 When people say dumb shit to me, I'm like, you are a YouTube commenter. 1.00
00:45:14.000 Well, they could be children, you know? 1.00
00:45:16.000 It could be young kids, or it could be morons. 1.00
00:45:19.000 I'll post a picture of something, like surfing, and people are like, Connor's gonna kill you! 1.00
00:45:23.000 Well, bitch, first of all, he's a 45er. 1.00
00:45:25.000 Okay, you know, I want to just get on there and say all kinds of shit, and it's just like, oh my god! 1.00
00:45:32.000 You gotta pick who you communicate with. 0.99
00:45:34.000 Like, say, look, you and I know each other.
00:45:37.000 This is Jamie.
00:45:38.000 Jamie's a good dude.
00:45:39.000 If you want to have a conversation with Jamie, he's not going to say anything retarded, but he's right there in front of you. 0.97
00:45:43.000 Now, if we were just random people talking around, you never know. 1.00
00:45:47.000 You might run into a good dude like Jamie, or you might run into some complete fucking idiot that you would never talk to in real life. 0.99
00:45:53.000 But in text, they all look the same. 1.00
00:45:56.000 They all look the same.
00:45:57.000 It all looks the same. 0.99
00:45:58.000 A guy can say some shit in a full sentence and pretend that he has a point. 0.99
00:46:03.000 Goddammit, I'm going to start drinking too. 1.00
00:46:04.000 Alright.
00:46:06.000 We're going to have to...
00:46:07.000 I'm getting fired up now.
00:46:08.000 Are you cracking open a nice, cold, refreshing Budweiser?
00:46:11.000 I am.
00:46:11.000 I am, Donald Cerrone.
00:46:12.000 American Budweiser.
00:46:14.000 I just don't think it's wise to communicate with people that are just insulting online.
00:46:19.000 I don't ever go back and forth.
00:46:21.000 I used to.
00:46:22.000 Do you know how many... 1.00
00:46:23.000 Why do you drink that fucking piss water disgusting beer? 1.00
00:46:27.000 Comments I get. 1.00
00:46:28.000 It's not bad.
00:46:29.000 Budweiser's not bad. 1.00
00:46:30.000 People are assholes. 1.00
00:46:31.000 And then I reach back and be like, oh yeah. 1.00
00:46:33.000 They pay me every month to drink that fucking ice cold Budweiser. 0.99
00:46:36.000 I like Budweiser. 1.00
00:46:36.000 I love it. 1.00
00:46:37.000 I like all kinds of different beers.
00:46:38.000 I used to be a Bud-like guy, but now I'm a Bud-heavy. 0.88
00:46:41.000 That's ridiculous.
00:46:41.000 I'm a Bud-heavy.
00:46:42.000 I'm more of a Bud-heavy guy, but I like a Sam Adams, I like a Guinness, I like a dark beer, but I like a Budweiser too.
00:46:48.000 It's like, I like water, and occasionally I like whiskey.
00:46:51.000 So you talk about Guinness dark beer, you ever heard of Snakebite?
00:46:54.000 Snakebite?
00:46:55.000 No.
00:46:55.000 So, Snakebite is Guinness, half Guinness, and then half like an apple lager.
00:47:01.000 Oh, really?
00:47:02.000 Oh, that's nice.
00:47:02.000 Snakebite, baby.
00:47:03.000 No, what's that shit that we drink? 1.00
00:47:05.000 Black Butte Porter? 1.00
00:47:06.000 That shit's good. 1.00
00:47:07.000 Got this dark beer, this dark black... 1.00
00:47:10.000 Who makes that? 0.93
00:47:10.000 Black Butte? 0.93
00:47:12.000 Who's the company that makes that?
00:47:13.000 Google.
00:47:15.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:47:16.000 Deschutes Brewery.
00:47:17.000 How awesome is Google now? 0.98
00:47:18.000 Because no one can bullshit. 0.94
00:47:19.000 You could have told me 20 years ago, you're the best wrestler in the world, and I'd be like, oh, you are? 0.91
00:47:24.000 I know, man.
00:47:25.000 Wow.
00:47:25.000 You won state seven times in a row and took worlds?
00:47:28.000 Whoa.
00:47:28.000 How many martial arts guys?
00:47:30.000 Now I'm just like, uh...
00:47:31.000 No, you didn't.
00:47:34.000 Actually, you've never even wrestled.
00:47:36.000 How many martial arts guys were like that, though? 0.99
00:47:39.000 All the ones that wore the Rex Kondo fucking badass pants. 0.99
00:47:43.000 The Rex Kondo fucking American flag pants? 1.00
00:47:48.000 American flag pants are the shit. 1.00
00:47:51.000 Yeah, it used to be there was a bunch of guys that claimed to be in... 1.00
00:47:55.000 Did you ever know who Rafael Torre is?
00:47:57.000 You ever hear about that guy?
00:47:58.000 No.
00:47:59.000 He was a guy who was a writer for one of those online magazines.
00:48:03.000 I think Abu Dhabi News hired him.
00:48:06.000 And he turned out to be a fake black belt. 0.84
00:48:09.000 And wound up killing the guy. 0.90
00:48:11.000 Wound up killing, like, he was dating a girl. 0.85
00:48:13.000 And she was married to some dude.
00:48:15.000 Killed a dude for the insurance money.
00:48:16.000 Got busted.
00:48:17.000 The whole deal.
00:48:17.000 Craziness, right?
00:48:18.000 In jail now for murder.
00:48:19.000 But before that... 0.92
00:48:21.000 He was claiming to be a black belt, but he set off a bunch of alarms, like he would go off to Thailand to have these fucking no-holds-barred fights and come back, and yeah, I got him in a twister in the first round, and everybody was like, you just learned that last week.
00:48:34.000 It was real weird, but one of the things he did that was hilarious is, this dude claimed to be in a no-rules kumite in the woods, so he had his friend drop him off. 0.60
00:48:43.000 He brought a big-ass duffel bag, right?
00:48:45.000 Right.
00:48:46.000 He had his friend drop him off.
00:48:47.000 He's like, drop me off and come back again and get me in a couple days, right?
00:48:50.000 So his friend drops him off.
00:48:52.000 He goes off into the woods.
00:48:53.000 And his friend comes back in a couple days.
00:48:55.000 Now he's got a trophy. 0.99
00:48:56.000 No more fucking duffel bag. 0.99
00:48:59.000 The trophy's the same size as the duffel bag. 0.99
00:49:02.000 Dude comes back without a scratch on him.
00:49:04.000 It leaves the camping gear. 0.99
00:49:07.000 I mean, but that's the kind of shit that people did, you know? 0.99
00:49:11.000 People who were retarded, they really would pretend that they were involved in these no-holds-barred contests, and they were 150-0. 0.99
00:49:20.000 Right.
00:49:20.000 Like, remember the early days, like, Hicks and Gracie, they would say 400-0?
00:49:24.000 Sure, sure. 0.99
00:49:24.000 You imagine if you had 400 fucking fights? 0.99
00:49:27.000 Goddamn, you gotta fight a lot. 1.00
00:49:29.000 You have to fight, like, every couple days for years. 0.99
00:49:33.000 Sounds like my high school days.
00:49:38.000 You'd have to win all of them, too.
00:49:40.000 That I did not.
00:49:41.000 That I did not.
00:49:41.000 Yeah, well, those are important.
00:49:43.000 The losses are some of the most important ones, right? 0.97
00:49:45.000 Those are the ones that really make you get back and fucking dig in. 0.99
00:49:48.000 They burn you. 1.00
00:49:49.000 Burn your soul. 0.99
00:49:55.000 To this day, are there any losses that just fucking that when you get up in the morning you think about that one and it makes you just want to go running? 1.00
00:50:04.000 You know, more or less the guys that talk about the Diaz fight tell me all the time, Diaz will beat your ass. 0.99
00:50:10.000 Nick, the Diaz brothers have... 0.99
00:50:14.000 The most incredible following.
00:50:16.000 Almost as incredible as the Conor McGregor following.
00:50:19.000 The Colts.
00:50:20.000 It is unbelievable. 1.00
00:50:21.000 So they tell me all the time, you'll beat your ass again. 1.00
00:50:25.000 Like, alright, well, bring his ass on because I'm ready. 1.00
00:50:27.000 Whatever. 1.00
00:50:28.000 Well, you fought Nate, right?
00:50:29.000 And the Nate Diaz fight, like, it seemed like you were having a hard time in the first round.
00:50:34.000 Like, you had a hard time getting started. 1.00
00:50:35.000 Like, that was a fight where, like, that dude talked a lot of shit to you. 0.99
00:50:39.000 Your boy Callan. 0.93
00:50:40.000 And it seems, is he contacting you?
00:50:42.000 He just said he's still there. 1.00
00:50:43.000 I told him, come crash this motherfucker. 1.00
00:50:45.000 Where is he? 1.00
00:50:46.000 I don't know.
00:50:47.000 Oh, he's texting you right now?
00:50:48.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:50:49.000 Um, yeah, I was, well, you were, I'm not making me, yeah, I'm not making, he got in my head, and he got me, yeah, absolutely, and that shit doesn't happen no more. 1.00
00:50:56.000 No, everyone tells me, Croner's in your head, Dos Anos, no, the fuck they're not. 0.99
00:50:59.000 So that was a lesson for you? 1.00
00:51:00.000 A super lesson, man, yeah, don't, don't.
00:51:02.000 So let's take it back.
00:51:04.000 You're talking about Rex Kondo, this guy, right?
00:51:06.000 You see all the movies that people said, don't fight out of anger.
00:51:09.000 Right, right.
00:51:10.000 They say that for a reason.
00:51:11.000 So when I fight out of anger, I was just... 0.98
00:51:13.000 I don't know what the fuck I was doing. 0.95
00:51:15.000 I was just... 0.99
00:51:16.000 I sucked that night, and that's all there is to it. 0.98
00:51:18.000 No excuses. 1.00
00:51:18.000 The motherfucker beat me. 1.00
00:51:19.000 Did you just get caught up in it? 1.00
00:51:21.000 I don't know. 1.00
00:51:21.000 Caught up in the emotions of all the shit he talked to? 1.00
00:51:25.000 He knocked your fucking hat off, dude. 1.00
00:51:27.000 Oh, God. 1.00
00:51:27.000 How dare he? 1.00
00:51:28.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:51:30.000 Nate Diaz can talk some shit, I'll tell you what. 1.00
00:51:33.000 You know what, but I... As much as he talked, I... I like those guys. 1.00
00:51:38.000 I like them too.
00:51:38.000 I really do.
00:51:39.000 I mean, because there is no front on them at all.
00:51:42.000 What you see is what you like. 0.99
00:51:44.000 If I were to run into the Diaz brothers out in the street, we are fucking throwing down. 1.00
00:51:49.000 And there's no question. 0.99
00:51:50.000 I mean, that's just who they are.
00:51:52.000 So it's not like they put on this front, this persona that they're big.
00:51:55.000 No.
00:51:56.000 That's who they are.
00:51:57.000 24-7.
00:51:58.000 24-7.
00:51:58.000 And it's awesome to me.
00:52:00.000 Right.
00:52:01.000 Both of them.
00:52:02.000 I got nothing but respect for both of them.
00:52:03.000 So when you guys are all retired, you'll have a drink together and be laughing about it?
00:52:06.000 Absolutely.
00:52:06.000 I'd have a drink with them now.
00:52:07.000 I don't have any animosity or any anger or hate towards either one of them.
00:52:11.000 I would definitely hang out with both of them, you know? 0.99
00:52:13.000 And it sucks that fucking, you know, Nick is in trouble with this whole marijuana thing. 0.99
00:52:19.000 This thing is awful. 1.00
00:52:20.000 It's awful and it just shows how bad the Nevada State Athletic Commission is.
00:52:24.000 And they were angry because he took the fifth because he didn't want to talk about it. 0.99
00:52:27.000 The fucking guy passed two world anti-doping agency tests. 0.99
00:52:32.000 Two water tests that are blood tests. 1.00
00:52:34.000 They're way more accurate than the fucking urine test that Nevada State Athletic Commission gave them with Quest Diagnostics, you know? 0.95
00:52:42.000 And nothing against Quest Diagnostics, but that method of testing is not as accurate. 0.98
00:52:47.000 Right.
00:52:47.000 So the dude was within the realm.
00:52:50.000 I mean, he was legal.
00:52:51.000 He passed.
00:52:52.000 Sure.
00:52:52.000 And they're stealing money from him, and they're suspending him for five years.
00:52:56.000 They're a fucking kangaroo court. 0.99
00:52:57.000 That's what they are. 1.00
00:52:58.000 Five years. 0.94
00:53:00.000 It's ridiculous. 0.77
00:53:00.000 At any job. 0.77
00:53:02.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:53:03.000 I mean, if I said, Joe, you're off the air for five years, you're fucking ruined, man. 0.98
00:53:07.000 I mean, you're irrelevant after almost a year in our sport. 0.99
00:53:10.000 People don't forget about you.
00:53:11.000 Yeah, almost.
00:53:11.000 If you're not, I mean, he is one of the names in the sport, absolutely, but I mean, five years, he's getting older and older and older.
00:53:19.000 I think he's like 33 or 34. How old is Nick now?
00:53:21.000 Hold on.
00:53:22.000 I want to say he's 32 at least, right? 0.99
00:53:24.000 So, five years, he's fucking 37, and he's not doing any TRT. He's not doing shit. 0.99
00:53:30.000 Sure. 0.97
00:53:30.000 God bless him, you know what I mean? 0.97
00:53:31.000 Yeah, God bless him.
00:53:33.000 He's 32. Yeah, I was right.
00:53:34.000 So five years from now, it's over, man.
00:53:37.000 Dude.
00:53:37.000 When we were kids, when a boxer like hit his 30s, you're like, oh, he's 32, 33. It's almost over.
00:53:45.000 We knew it was almost over.
00:53:46.000 Sure.
00:53:46.000 But then the age of TRT came along, especially with MMA, things got real weird.
00:53:52.000 Sure.
00:53:52.000 Things got real strange.
00:53:53.000 Like you started to see guys like 36, 37, like Vitor, having the fucking fights of his career, the best fights ever. 0.99
00:54:00.000 You know, and these guys, the Diaz brothers, one thing you've got to say about them is these fucking dudes take care of their bodies. 0.99
00:54:09.000 Yes. 1.00
00:54:09.000 They eat healthy as fuck. 1.00
00:54:11.000 Nick's always eating all organic food. 0.99
00:54:13.000 He eats real healthy.
00:54:15.000 He's constantly in shape, constantly running.
00:54:17.000 If this guy's smoking pot...
00:54:19.000 He's not doing mess.
00:54:21.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:54:23.000 I mean, he's taking care of his body.
00:54:24.000 Absolutely.
00:54:25.000 It's not like he's doing steroids.
00:54:27.000 It's not like he's doing something that's making him freakishly fast or ridiculously strong.
00:54:32.000 It's actually the complete opposite. 0.98
00:54:34.000 Yeah, the whole thing is so frustrating, man, that these clowns have any power over people like you. 0.99
00:54:40.000 It drives me crazy. 0.99
00:54:42.000 It drives me crazy that people like you need these fools that have never been punched in the face, they've never been strangled, they've never fought a day in their life, and they're the ones that get to decide what happens to you? 0.99
00:54:54.000 They're the ones who get to tell Nick Diaz he has to sit out for five years? 0.99
00:54:59.000 Yeah, but they're the pencil pushers of America, man. 0.95
00:55:00.000 They're the people that in high school...
00:55:04.000 I feel like those are the guys that now they have something to prove.
00:55:08.000 Now he's...
00:55:11.000 High and mighty, you know?
00:55:12.000 Maybe, you know, but there's a lot of pencil pushers that are good dudes, you know, or good women. 1.00
00:55:17.000 It's not the problem. 0.99
00:55:18.000 The problem is people in positions of power that are accustomed to that position of power, and then they treat it like they're a fucking king or a queen. 1.00
00:55:25.000 They're tyrants. 1.00
00:55:26.000 And that's what those people are.
00:55:27.000 Hey, my buddy, Scott Parker.
00:55:28.000 Who is it?
00:55:29.000 Parks from the Avalanche said he's been in over 400 fights.
00:55:32.000 He just texted me right now.
00:55:33.000 How dare he?
00:55:34.000 How dare you?
00:55:36.000 Is that the hockey guy?
00:55:38.000 Well, he might actually have been in 400 fights.
00:55:41.000 Because those guys will fight all the time, right?
00:55:43.000 He'll probably fight like two, three times a week.
00:55:45.000 That's the difference.
00:55:45.000 Dude, he's huge.
00:55:46.000 He's my snowmobiling partner, right?
00:55:48.000 So, that's what I'm saying.
00:55:50.000 So, I don't know if you've ever ridden a snowmobile, but you get stuck in like five, six feet of powder, and...
00:55:56.000 Now you're stuck.
00:55:57.000 Right. 1.00
00:55:57.000 That big old son of a bitch come over with one hand and be like, just rip me out. 1.00
00:56:00.000 Like, go get it. 1.00
00:56:01.000 And I'm in there digging me out for like an hour. 1.00
00:56:03.000 And I'm like, you motherfucker, you big ass bitch. 1.00
00:56:05.000 So, yeah, he's a good dude. 1.00
00:56:07.000 Came down, helped me build the fucking ranch, man. 0.98
00:56:09.000 He's a solid guy. 0.99
00:56:10.000 Solid as he gets.
00:56:11.000 That's nice, man.
00:56:12.000 It's good to have good friends.
00:56:13.000 Yes. 1.00
00:56:13.000 Especially ones that can lift a fucking snowmobile. 1.00
00:56:15.000 With one hand. 1.00
00:56:17.000 Pull it out. 1.00
00:56:19.000 Fucker. 1.00
00:56:21.000 The world of professional athletes is so short that it's even more frustrating when someone gets... 0.99
00:56:26.000 Like, if you're an accountant and they suspend you for five years, you know, hey, you could always get a job doing something else, and then five years from now you get reinstated as an accountant.
00:56:33.000 But when you're an athlete, you've got this short window.
00:56:36.000 I mean, I think Nick started fighting when he was 18. So, you know, he's 32 now.
00:56:42.000 He's got a few years left at max.
00:56:44.000 Yeah.
00:56:45.000 Max.
00:56:46.000 Max.
00:56:48.000 I mean, it's conceivable that he could come back at 37, since he does take care of his body.
00:56:52.000 Maybe it's five years.
00:56:53.000 That's a tough comeback.
00:56:55.000 Financially, what are you doing?
00:56:58.000 You're accustomed to a lifestyle that you've been fighting.
00:57:00.000 I am, at least.
00:57:01.000 Oh, for sure. 0.52
00:57:02.000 I'm a super degenerate with my money. 0.79
00:57:04.000 Everyone knows that.
00:57:05.000 If something happened to me today, I don't know what I'd do.
00:57:09.000 You would have to go on the road and start doing seminars, but because of your style and because of Nick's style, you guys are both really well-loved.
00:57:17.000 If something like that happened with you, you could do seminars and make a few grand every weekend.
00:57:21.000 Maybe not in Dublin.
00:57:22.000 I'd have to go anywhere.
00:57:23.000 Maybe not in Dublin?
00:57:24.000 Once you guys fought, you could do it.
00:57:26.000 If you and Conor fought and duked it out and had an epic contest, then you could do it, you know?
00:57:31.000 I'm just a big stick in the mud.
00:57:33.000 Or if you beat him a couple times decisively, you'd have to beat him where they have to just give in.
00:57:38.000 They'd have to say, all right, you had to beat him.
00:57:40.000 You beat him.
00:57:41.000 You beat him. 1.00
00:57:41.000 But if you fucking cut down to 145, you'd never touch him. 1.00
00:57:46.000 Fucking Conor. 0.99
00:57:48.000 Look, man, I appreciate the fuck out of what that guy's doing. 0.99
00:57:51.000 He's getting eyes on the sport.
00:57:53.000 Yeah, he is.
00:57:54.000 Him and Ronda.
00:57:54.000 He really pisses me off.
00:57:55.000 I feel like you tell him when he was in the fucking press conference, I wanted to rip him so bad. 0.99
00:57:59.000 Of course. 1.00
00:57:59.000 I wanted to kill him. 1.00
00:58:00.000 I wanted to be like, you know what, Connor? 1.00
00:58:01.000 You can blow me like a cup of hot soup, you son of a bitch. 1.00
00:58:03.000 Blow me like a cup of hot soup? 1.00
00:58:05.000 How does that work?
00:58:06.000 You blow on the cup of hot soup?
00:58:08.000 Is that what it is?
00:58:09.000 Yeah.
00:58:09.000 Okay.
00:58:11.000 But if he just blows you like that, that's why it's confusing.
00:58:15.000 The vernacular is really odd. 0.99
00:58:16.000 Like, blowjob. 0.99
00:58:17.000 I don't understand where that came from. 1.00
00:58:19.000 It's very, blow me like a cup of hot soup.
00:58:22.000 First time.
00:58:23.000 First time, there you go.
00:58:25.000 Yeah, I've never heard that one before.
00:58:26.000 I've been around. 1.00
00:58:31.000 But the fucking guy, look, when he said to Dos Anjos, that shit was hilarious. 1.00
00:58:35.000 Like, you know, he's like, if you get a fight with me, you've made it. 1.00
00:58:39.000 You call to your wife, honey, put on the fucking red panties, we made it. 1.00
00:58:44.000 Come on, I appreciate the fuck out of that dude's shit. 1.00
00:58:47.000 His shit-talking game is better than anybody. 1.00
00:58:49.000 It is. 1.00
00:58:49.000 He's the best ever. 1.00
00:58:50.000 I mean and Nick Diaz is right because you know like what his antics inside the octagon like Nick's antics inside the octagon fuck with a lot of people's heads sure like the first fight with Robbie Lawler like I remember there's the first time I ever saw Nick talk shit it was the first fight with Robbie Lawler because Robbie was dangerous so Nick Nick took that shit talking to DEFCON 5 and he got into the octagon And the first thing he does, 0.94
00:59:15.000 he gets into the octagon. 1.00
00:59:16.000 He looks over at Robbie and goes, STALKTON, MOTHERFUCKER! STALKTON! And he starts walking around, STALKTON MOTHERFUCKER! And Robbie's like, what the fuck is he talking about? 1.00
00:59:24.000 What does that even mean? 0.99
00:59:24.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.99
00:59:25.000 And then the entire time the fight is going on, like, what, bitch? 1.00
00:59:29.000 What you gonna do, bitch? 1.00
00:59:30.000 What you gonna do, bitch? 1.00
00:59:31.000 And then he'd hit him, oh, bitch, I just stung you, bitch! 1.00
00:59:33.000 And he'd be popping him, and Robbie Lawler didn't talk back to him, but you could clearly see he didn't anticipate that. 1.00
00:59:42.000 As far as Nick and Nate go, I don't know if that's a game plan.
00:59:47.000 That's just their real life. 0.98
00:59:49.000 I think if they were on the street, they'd be like, what bitch talk? 1.00
00:59:52.000 That's real life talk. 0.99
00:59:53.000 That's what they know.
00:59:57.000 That's them being them.
00:59:59.000 But it is still a psychological tactic.
01:00:02.000 It's an excellent tactic.
01:00:04.000 Anderson Silva. 0.99
01:00:05.000 It fucked Anderson Silva's head up, dude. 1.00
01:00:07.000 Some bitch laid out on the mat. 1.00
01:00:09.000 He laid down like this. 1.00
01:00:12.000 He was bored and he was taking a nap, fighting the greatest pound-for-pound fighter in the history of the sport, and he lays down. 0.99
01:00:20.000 And then he gets up with his hands down, like, what, bitch? 1.00
01:00:21.000 What, bitch? 1.00
01:00:22.000 It's fucking... 1.00
01:00:23.000 And he didn't do any of that leading up to the fight, which was even more fucked up, because I don't think Anderson expected it at all. 0.99
01:00:29.000 And then when he was in there talking shit to him, you could see Anderson just, like, moving around and not doing anything, frozen and, you know, thinking about, like, there's a great thing about it. 0.99
01:00:39.000 What, bitch? 1.00
01:00:40.000 And Anderson had never experienced that before. 1.00
01:00:44.000 Man, come on with it.
01:00:46.000 Anderson is the greatest psychological fall I've ever seen in my career.
01:00:52.000 To witness him go from the guy who beat Stefan Bonner, who steps his back up against the cage, drops his hands, is like, come on.
01:01:00.000 Go ahead.
01:01:00.000 And then moves out of the way, and then decides, alright, now I'm gonna attack.
01:01:04.000 Hits Bonner with a knee to the stomach, drops him, and then pounds him out, and TKO's him, and then looks like a guy in the fucking Matrix. 0.90
01:01:10.000 I mean, and then to go from that confidence to the two Weidman fights, man, they did a number on him. 0.80
01:01:17.000 They did a number on him like I've never seen before.
01:01:21.000 It's fascinating to see.
01:01:22.000 It's fascinating to see how a guy can be almost just unbeatable, and then Weidman after the second fight, I mean, you gotta think about the second fight, Anderson broke his leg, right?
01:01:31.000 Sure.
01:01:31.000 Weidman didn't knock him out.
01:01:33.000 He broke his leg.
01:01:33.000 I mean, he had him hurt bad in that first round.
01:01:35.000 But then after that fight, Weidman's like, you know what?
01:01:38.000 I don't want to fight him again.
01:01:39.000 I don't want to hurt him.
01:01:40.000 Like, whoa. 0.99
01:01:42.000 Like, just for Anderson to hear that, it's got to be like, that's a mindfuck, man. 1.00
01:01:46.000 Well, and I mean, you're coming up, I mean, the mind is such a motherfucker. 1.00
01:01:51.000 Like, if you could just get your mind to do what your heart wants to do, life would be so much easier. 0.99
01:01:56.000 Yeah.
01:01:57.000 I think, like, there are so many times I'm in the cage, like...
01:02:00.000 Right.
01:02:02.000 Right?
01:02:03.000 And I don't know if my brain knew what my heart was trying to say, but that's what I wanted to do, you know?
01:02:09.000 And it's so...
01:02:10.000 And then you...
01:02:11.000 It's... 1.00
01:02:12.000 Fuck, bro. 1.00
01:02:13.000 I can't even put words on it, you know? 1.00
01:02:15.000 It's crazy.
01:02:15.000 Do you do any mental training?
01:02:17.000 Do you do any meditating or any visualization? 1.00
01:02:20.000 Hey, drink fucking ice cold Budweiser, brother. 0.99
01:02:21.000 What are you talking about? 1.00
01:02:23.000 God damn it. 1.00
01:02:24.000 No, a fucking fight is a fight, but I probably maybe should. 1.00
01:02:27.000 But in this sport, it's not like that's what I was telling Blake Griffin today. 0.99
01:02:31.000 Like, hey man, you have a bad day, you fall back and let your team pick up.
01:02:36.000 It's like, I have a bad day, I'm the worst fighter in the world. 1.00
01:02:39.000 My Twitter feed is just nothing but you pussy, you fucking die. 1.00
01:02:43.000 Well, there's a difference between a guy losing a basketball game, too, and getting shit on by the fans. 1.00
01:02:47.000 All you have to do is stay offline for a couple days, you know, and you hit that three-pointer to win the game and you're a fucking hero again. 0.99
01:02:52.000 Again, back up. 0.99
01:02:53.000 Yeah, you're back up. 0.99
01:02:54.000 But for a fighter, man, especially because fighting, like when a kid, or especially an idiot, looks at a fighter, they look at something that is so unattainable, they might as well be talking to a unicorn. 0.98
01:03:08.000 You know, they might as well be talking to a God. 0.98
01:03:10.000 They might as well be talking to someone who's not even real. 0.99
01:03:12.000 So they feel like they can talk shit to you because you're not even real. 0.99
01:03:17.000 Did you say God and something real? 0.99
01:03:18.000 Like you're not even real.
01:03:20.000 I like it.
01:03:20.000 Yeah.
01:03:21.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:03:22.000 You know, like you're Apollo. 1.00
01:03:24.000 You're fucking Zeus or something. 1.00
01:03:26.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
01:03:26.000 It's like... 1.00
01:03:29.000 You are not, they don't relate to you. 0.99
01:03:31.000 And when they're writing this thing, they're sitting there with their fucking keyboard getting crazy. 0.99
01:03:35.000 Oh man. 0.99
01:03:35.000 I don't know what I just did. 0.99
01:03:36.000 I think I might have deleted something.
01:03:38.000 So, I mean the craziest thing about fighting... 0.95
01:03:43.000 Is if you and I were to go out and fight right now, there's no emotion, there's no thought, it's just fucking get it. 0.97
01:03:48.000 Right. 0.91
01:03:48.000 But now December 18th, I have this entire time. 0.91
01:03:51.000 This big window to think about it.
01:03:52.000 And the problem, it's not the fight that bothers me.
01:03:55.000 Nothing at all. 0.98
01:03:56.000 And I think, I speak maybe for all fighters, I don't know, I don't give a shit, but it's, I got my grandma sitting ringside. 0.99
01:04:02.000 I got all the people I meet along the way that, you know, I've met and I've interacted with, hung out, and in their mind, when they talk to people like, oh yeah, I'm going to Cowboys fight, he's going to fuck this dude up. 0.99
01:04:12.000 You know what I mean? 0.73
01:04:13.000 So, like, the precedent is so high.
01:04:16.000 The pressure, right.
01:04:17.000 The pressure.
01:04:18.000 Unbelievable.
01:04:19.000 Do you talk to those people leading up to that fight?
01:04:23.000 You know what you should do?
01:04:23.000 I don't even know if it's talking to them or if it's just...
01:04:26.000 Knowing they're there.
01:04:27.000 Knowing that they're there and knowing that they're...
01:04:29.000 I mean, the pressure's unbelievable.
01:04:31.000 So, when you're in that fight and they're like, are you ready?
01:04:35.000 Are you ready? 0.99
01:04:35.000 And sometimes you're like, fuck no, I'm not ready. 0.99
01:04:38.000 What are you talking about? 1.00
01:04:39.000 Fuck. 1.00
01:04:40.000 Are you kidding me? 1.00
01:04:41.000 No, I'm not ready.
01:04:42.000 There's never going to be a time when I'm ready for this.
01:04:44.000 No, no, no.
01:04:45.000 I'm not sweating.
01:04:47.000 My heart's pounding in my chest.
01:04:48.000 And they're like, bing. 1.00
01:04:50.000 And you're like, oh, shit. 1.00
01:04:51.000 Fake it till you make it. 1.00
01:04:52.000 And it's time to, you know, it's unbelievable, man.
01:04:55.000 And you got to go out there and, is he ready?
01:04:58.000 Sometimes you look across at him and he's like, he doesn't look ready.
01:05:00.000 But he hit me ready.
01:05:01.000 You know what I mean?
01:05:02.000 Like, it's sometimes.
01:05:03.000 Right.
01:05:04.000 And...
01:05:05.000 Some of those times when you're sitting in the corner and you look across and you're like, second, got him.
01:05:08.000 Check.
01:05:09.000 I can see it.
01:05:09.000 I broke him.
01:05:10.000 I got it.
01:05:11.000 Sometimes you look across and you're like, I don't know.
01:05:13.000 Is this dude going to come out really hard in the third?
01:05:16.000 So it's crazy.
01:05:17.000 The Eddie Alvarez fight, third round, come out, he came out and I was like, oh, ho, ho.
01:05:22.000 Hey, man!
01:05:22.000 Hey, man!
01:05:23.000 Hey, man!
01:05:23.000 Slow down!
01:05:24.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
01:05:24.000 There's so much mind shit that goes on. 1.00
01:05:27.000 Like I said, if I can get my fucking mind, do what my heart wants to do, I feel like I can be anyone in the world. 0.99
01:05:31.000 But the problem is being ready on game day, man. 0.99
01:05:35.000 It's so tough.
01:05:36.000 But listen to me.
01:05:37.000 Why don't you do any mental preparation?
01:05:39.000 I did.
01:05:39.000 I tried.
01:05:39.000 I tried to meet mental people.
01:05:41.000 I don't fucking do anything. 0.99
01:05:42.000 That's all hokey pokey. 1.00
01:05:44.000 Fucking... 1.00
01:05:45.000 Hokey pokey! 1.00
01:05:46.000 Turn yourself around.
01:05:46.000 Turn yourself around.
01:05:47.000 That's what it's all about.
01:05:49.000 You know, I feel...
01:05:50.000 The mental game is so hard to grasp because, yeah, Henry Smith and Jafari are calling out what I should do.
01:05:57.000 Right.
01:05:57.000 I see what I should do.
01:05:58.000 Right.
01:05:59.000 If I don't do it, I'm like frozen.
01:06:01.000 Right.
01:06:01.000 I'm like a stick in the mud.
01:06:03.000 Right.
01:06:03.000 But do you think that, like, okay, like when you're in the heart of battle, okay.
01:06:08.000 Sure.
01:06:09.000 Let me ask you this.
01:06:09.000 When you're at your best, like, let's say, in a particularly impressive fight, like the Jim Miller fight.
01:06:15.000 The Jim Miller fight, you were on fire.
01:06:17.000 You just look, you look so dominant in that fight, and you look so focused, and you just, your combinations, your distancing, everything was on point.
01:06:25.000 When you're in that zone, right?
01:06:26.000 Right.
01:06:27.000 When you, like, right before you stopped him, what is in your mind?
01:06:30.000 Are you empty?
01:06:31.000 Are you blank?
01:06:32.000 No. 0.99
01:06:32.000 So, I'm gonna be a fucking thousand percent honest with you. 0.99
01:06:35.000 I'm like a video game in a third person. 0.98
01:06:38.000 So I see myself from behind my head playing myself. 0.99
01:06:45.000 That's the lunatic in my brain talking. 0.98
01:06:46.000 But that's how I see the fights. 0.98
01:06:49.000 I don't see the fight, me fighting you. 0.99
01:06:51.000 I see it from like a helicopter view above my fucking right shoulder. 0.98
01:06:55.000 And I see it like when I'm in the zone and I'm So, you know what I mean? 0.98
01:06:59.000 So you're not emotional.
01:07:00.000 I step back and I do this little hopping that puts me like, then I go behind and I'm fucking dialed in and it's like ding ding, everything just flows.
01:07:08.000 Right. 0.97
01:07:09.000 And I see myself out of body, as crazy as that fucking sounds, right? 0.99
01:07:15.000 From like a third party. 0.98
01:07:17.000 Well, I haven't heard it before from anybody else, but it doesn't sound crazy because I think what you're talking about is it's not you.
01:07:25.000 Like, you're outside of you.
01:07:26.000 I'm literally outside of me.
01:07:29.000 It's like I'm telling that person what to do from an outside perspective.
01:07:34.000 So, when you're at your best like that, would you say that you're...
01:07:38.000 Like the Dunham fight.
01:07:39.000 The entire Dunham fight.
01:07:41.000 Perfect example.
01:07:41.000 The entire...
01:07:41.000 From bell to bell, the Dunham fight, I... What was the fight before the Dunham fight?
01:07:55.000 Dos Anjos.
01:07:56.000 So, do you think that because of the Dos Anjos loss, you got more focused, more intense, and then came out in the Dunham fight and you were just on fire? 0.99
01:08:05.000 Fuck, I wish I had an answer for that. 0.99
01:08:07.000 I don't know. 1.00
01:08:07.000 I mean, I totally underestimated the dosanjos. 1.00
01:08:12.000 It fucking will not happen again. 0.98
01:08:13.000 He's gotten a lot better. 0.99
01:08:15.000 That guy works hard.
01:08:16.000 Good.
01:08:16.000 I know he's your adversary and you're fighting him.
01:08:20.000 But when you're at your best, would you say that you don't have any emotions at all?
01:08:25.000 Zero.
01:08:25.000 You're zero, right?
01:08:26.000 Zero.
01:08:27.000 At zero, yeah.
01:08:28.000 And then when you're frustrated and you're in a bad place, you're battling your emotions, trying to calm them down, right?
01:08:34.000 Absolutely.
01:08:34.000 Trying to...
01:08:35.000 Yeah, it's like I'm trying to find second gear.
01:08:39.000 Yeah, right, right.
01:08:41.000 That's the worst sound in the world.
01:08:42.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
01:08:43.000 That's what it fucking feels like. 0.98
01:08:45.000 Like when I'm grinding, grinding, grinding. 1.00
01:08:49.000 Like, go, motherfucker! 1.00
01:08:50.000 And you talk to yourself. 1.00
01:08:55.000 And that's what's going through my mind.
01:08:57.000 I can't find it.
01:08:59.000 I just can't find second gear.
01:09:01.000 And when you're in that place, it's the most frustrating, right?
01:09:05.000 The absolute most frustrating, man.
01:09:06.000 There's nothing...
01:09:07.000 I mean, it's like...
01:09:08.000 What do you do?
01:09:09.000 Well, do you think that it's possible that through mental training and through specific techniques you could get better at achieving that what you would call maybe like a flow state?
01:09:20.000 The same way you got better at being a fighter.
01:09:23.000 Think about your first days of fighting when you first learned Muay Thai.
01:09:28.000 I'll tell you when I first saw you.
01:09:29.000 I first saw you when you were on the Tap Out show.
01:09:32.000 Sure. 0.99
01:09:33.000 Because I was like, who is this wild motherfucker hanging out with masks and he's throwing head kicks. 0.99
01:09:38.000 But the cool thing about you, I thought you were a The personification of an idea that Eddie Bravo and I both had. 0.99
01:09:47.000 And that idea was, if you get a guy who's a really good kickboxer, but also has a really good guard, they're fucking super dangerous. 0.74
01:09:56.000 Sure. 0.85
01:09:56.000 Because they're not worried about getting taken down. 0.85
01:09:58.000 So they throw those kicks freely.
01:10:00.000 So you want a lot of your early fights by submission off your back.
01:10:03.000 Correct.
01:10:04.000 Because, yeah, for one, my wrestling was zero.
01:10:07.000 Right.
01:10:08.000 So, I mean, it's not like I was like, oh, just kick freely and defend.
01:10:12.000 They just take me down.
01:10:13.000 But as fun as you were to watch back then, when I first watched you, you are a lot better.
01:10:16.000 Are you telling me you're not fun now?
01:10:17.000 Is that what's going on here?
01:10:18.000 No, no, no.
01:10:19.000 You are a lot better now, right?
01:10:20.000 Sure.
01:10:21.000 You're a lot better now.
01:10:22.000 So, you got better at that.
01:10:24.000 Do you think that you could get better the same way with your mind?
01:10:29.000 Absolutely.
01:10:30.000 Don't you think that you should practice that, though?
01:10:32.000 I should. 0.99
01:10:33.000 Shit, I'm gonna work on that. 0.99
01:10:35.000 I mean, I think if you had a coach that could work through that with you... 0.99
01:10:39.000 So you talk about this mind, right? 0.93
01:10:42.000 And there's been times when I've been hitting pads, and I fucking just go into... 0.97
01:10:48.000 Flow state. 0.95
01:10:50.000 You're in the zone. 1.00
01:10:51.000 I go into it, and it's like, oh, fucking... 1.00
01:10:53.000 I've seen you do it. 1.00
01:10:54.000 I've seen videos of you doing it.
01:10:56.000 And then two days will go by, and I don't see it.
01:10:58.000 Three days a month.
01:10:59.000 That's how it goes, though, right?
01:11:01.000 But then sometimes it's like...
01:11:02.000 And it, dude, it is like...
01:11:04.000 It's like a drug, man.
01:11:05.000 I think that state exists in everything.
01:11:07.000 I think singers experience it.
01:11:09.000 I think all sorts of basketball players, all sorts of different athletes experience that state.
01:11:13.000 And it's all about trying to find that state.
01:11:16.000 That state exists in stand-up comedy.
01:11:18.000 That state exists in...
01:11:19.000 And I think in everything that's difficult to do, there's a time where you zone into it.
01:11:24.000 Zone in, man.
01:11:25.000 Or zone out.
01:11:26.000 Yeah, whatever it is, whatever it is, but it only comes if you've dotted all your I's and crossed all your T's.
01:11:32.000 Right.
01:11:33.000 You have to have no worries at all about your preparation.
01:11:36.000 Oh, no, no, no.
01:11:36.000 Right?
01:11:37.000 That all has to be, absolutely, yeah, you know, and I... Do you think that drinking has any effect on your physical performance, or do you think that you do it at a level where you're not fucking with your endurance?
01:11:52.000 Well, that's the thing. 0.90
01:11:53.000 I think people think that Cowboy just drinks fucking 12-pack a night, but that's not. 0.97
01:11:57.000 How many beers do you drink on a regular basis? 0.99
01:12:02.000 With dinner, a couple.
01:12:03.000 If I'm out with friends, a couple.
01:12:05.000 You know, we'll put the six pack down.
01:12:06.000 Maybe graduate to a 12 pack.
01:12:09.000 I don't know.
01:12:09.000 But we're engaging and having a good time.
01:12:12.000 Right, right.
01:12:12.000 This is a rare moment.
01:12:13.000 Do I sit at home and drink alone?
01:12:15.000 No.
01:12:16.000 Absolutely not.
01:12:16.000 You're a social drinker.
01:12:17.000 Social drinker.
01:12:18.000 I hang out with my friends.
01:12:19.000 I have a couple beers, you know, at dinner.
01:12:22.000 But a lot of times, when you're training, you're sore.
01:12:25.000 You come home, you know, you roll, and you're like, oh my god.
01:12:27.000 You want a beer, yeah.
01:12:29.000 Dude, you put two, three beers down, and you're like, oh, thank you.
01:12:31.000 Tastes so much better.
01:12:32.000 So much better.
01:12:33.000 Ice cold beer after training is one of the best.
01:12:35.000 Actually, it's good for you, too, because there's something...
01:12:38.000 They say it's better than chocolate milk, right?
01:12:40.000 Well, it's up there, as long as you don't have too much of it.
01:12:43.000 There's like a point of diminishing returns. 0.99
01:12:44.000 On that fucking note. 0.99
01:12:47.000 They say that, like, I guess it's the hops or whatever it is that can replenish the glycos in your body. 0.99
01:12:52.000 You know who was a glucogen, glycogen, whatever it is?
01:12:56.000 You know who was a big believer in that?
01:12:58.000 One of the best ever.
01:12:59.000 Boss Rootin.
01:13:00.000 Boss Rootin never stopped drinking.
01:13:01.000 He goes, hey, I have a drink or two every night.
01:13:03.000 Well, he did eventually because he, you know, sort of developed an issue where, you know, he's getting a little crazy with it.
01:13:10.000 But when he was training, you know, he would have a couple of beers at night and he didn't stop having it.
01:13:14.000 I mean, sometimes I'll drink two, three, four nights in a row.
01:13:17.000 And I'll go, I won't have a beer for a week, two weeks, I don't know.
01:13:23.000 So here, I'm going to tell you the problem with drinking.
01:13:25.000 Okay.
01:13:25.000 Are you ready for Cowboy's philosophy on drinking?
01:13:28.000 I've been ready forever.
01:13:29.000 Alright.
01:13:30.000 So me and you have a six-pack.
01:13:33.000 We roll over to dinner.
01:13:34.000 Six-pack leads to a 12-pack.
01:13:35.000 Leads to us drinking shots.
01:13:37.000 Leads to us staying up at 2 in the morning.
01:13:38.000 Right.
01:13:39.000 And what do you do at 2 in the morning? 1.00
01:13:40.000 You chase pussy. 1.00
01:13:40.000 Right. 1.00
01:13:41.000 So now you fucking find a girl. 1.00
01:13:44.000 You go home. 1.00
01:13:45.000 She plays the I Don't Want to Give You the Pussy game until 6 a.m. 1.00
01:13:49.000 The I Don't Want to Give You the Pussy game. 1.00
01:13:52.000 This sounds very rapey. 0.99
01:13:54.000 So finally at 6, 7 a.m., you do your deed.
01:13:59.000 Now I got training at 9.30.
01:14:01.000 I don't make it.
01:14:02.000 So that's where I feel alcohol.
01:14:05.000 But if I have four or five beers, I go home, go to sleep.
01:14:09.000 Is it going to affect my training tomorrow?
01:14:10.000 I don't think so.
01:14:11.000 Not at all.
01:14:11.000 As long as you have water, as you're not dehydrated, all that jazz.
01:14:15.000 Do you watch your diet?
01:14:17.000 No, absolutely not.
01:14:19.000 Absolutely not.
01:14:20.000 Well, Floyd Mayweather ate burgers, 49 and 0. Yeah, I mean, I just, I eat whatever I want, I drink whatever I want, and that's my life, man.
01:14:28.000 So you never, like, you don't have, like, a Dolce guy or something like that that monitors your...
01:14:33.000 A Dolce guy.
01:14:34.000 How dare you?
01:14:35.000 What's wrong with a Dolce guy?
01:14:39.000 Nothing's wrong.
01:14:40.000 It works great for Rhonda, apparently. 1.00
01:14:42.000 It does.
01:14:43.000 It works great for a lot of people, right?
01:14:44.000 No, I don't.
01:14:45.000 I can't have you telling me.
01:14:46.000 If you said, cowboy, don't drink that beer.
01:14:49.000 You can't eat pizza. 1.00
01:14:50.000 Motherfucker, I'm going to eat a whole pizza. 1.00
01:14:51.000 Yeah, I'm going to fucking cry. 1.00
01:14:54.000 Because pizza's like sex. 1.00
01:14:55.000 Bad pizza or good pizza is still fucking pizza, brother. 0.99
01:14:58.000 But is there a way you could have, like, the best of both worlds? 0.98
01:15:02.000 Is there a way that you could, like, figure out how to give your body the best fuel, and maybe it'll give you a little slight edge?
01:15:08.000 On it.
01:15:09.000 That's gonna help a little.
01:15:10.000 You know, supplements will help.
01:15:12.000 Vitamins will help.
01:15:12.000 I don't take supplements.
01:15:13.000 You don't take any vitamins?
01:15:14.000 Nothing?
01:15:15.000 Nothing.
01:15:16.000 Nothing, nothing.
01:15:16.000 How old are you now?
01:15:17.000 32. Around 34. I mean, my friends can definitely preach for me.
01:15:22.000 I don't take shit. 0.99
01:15:25.000 Nothing? 1.00
01:15:25.000 Nothing. 1.00
01:15:26.000 No protein powders?
01:15:27.000 Nothing? 1.00
01:15:27.000 I use a little bit of medicinal marijuana on the fucking knee. 1.00
01:15:30.000 The CBD oil. 1.00
01:15:32.000 You know what you should do with the knees? 1.00
01:15:33.000 The fucking stem cell injections are incredible, man. 1.00
01:15:37.000 Cormier had one. 1.00
01:15:38.000 He was like that close to surgery.
01:15:40.000 He had a stem cell injection in his knee and fixed him right up.
01:15:46.000 Rhonda's apparently thinking about it.
01:15:48.000 She had one of her judo coaches just had stem cells done in his name. 0.99
01:15:51.000 So you're steering me away from medicinal marijuana.
01:15:54.000 No, I want you to do that too.
01:15:55.000 Both.
01:15:55.000 Do that too, but don't do it as much as Nick Diaz.
01:15:58.000 No, I don't.
01:16:00.000 Yeah.
01:16:00.000 If you do do it, refuse the urinalysis, the urine test.
01:16:04.000 No, I didn't.
01:16:05.000 It was like a rub.
01:16:07.000 I was in Colorado.
01:16:08.000 I got a...
01:16:09.000 Oh yeah, they have creams.
01:16:10.000 A cream is exactly what it was.
01:16:11.000 It was like a cream.
01:16:13.000 I think it was like a 50 to 1. 50 CBD percent to 1 THC. I got some of that shit, but I'm scared of it.
01:16:20.000 Bro, I put it on my knee. 0.99
01:16:21.000 I didn't feel.
01:16:22.000 I mean, there wasn't any...
01:16:23.000 No, there wasn't.
01:16:24.000 It was only like 1 percent, 50 to 1. Oh, so it's all CBD and very little THC. Correct.
01:16:29.000 Oh, I see.
01:16:29.000 And, dude, a week of it in my knee felt great.
01:16:32.000 What's one of the best anti-inflammatories non-demand?
01:16:35.000 Unbelievable.
01:16:36.000 But I don't smoke weed.
01:16:39.000 I don't shy on people that do. 0.99
01:16:41.000 I don't give a fuck. 0.99
01:16:41.000 You do whatever the hell people make no difference to me. 0.99
01:16:45.000 I just wish I could be un-high.
01:16:48.000 Have you ever been like, I used to get high when I was a kid. 0.99
01:16:50.000 And I'd be like, fuck, I'm done being high. 0.98
01:16:52.000 I wish I could be un-high right now. 0.99
01:16:54.000 Kind of like if you drink too much and you're spinning, you try to put your foot down on the floor. 0.99
01:16:58.000 Like, I wish I could be un-fucking-drunk right now. 0.97
01:17:00.000 Same kind of deal. 0.97
01:17:02.000 Well, it's like everything.
01:17:04.000 A little bit of moderation, it's good.
01:17:06.000 A couple toots just a little bit.
01:17:08.000 Hang out with a girlfriend. 0.66
01:17:09.000 Make a little kissy-kissy. 0.98
01:17:10.000 It's the best.
01:17:11.000 I mean, one of my good friends, Eric Bonekamp, that's why he would smoke religiously every day.
01:17:15.000 I used to lay hard on the floor.
01:17:17.000 So I'd be like, give me, let me hit that thing.
01:17:19.000 And the next thing you know, I'm over in the corner. 0.95
01:17:21.000 Fucked out of my mind. 0.58
01:17:22.000 Well that's the problem. 0.99
01:17:23.000 You don't have a tolerance for it and you're jumping right into the deep end of the pool.
01:17:27.000 You needed swimming lessons.
01:17:29.000 Right.
01:17:29.000 Okay?
01:17:29.000 You need to learn how to hold your breath, breathe in, breathe out.
01:17:34.000 There's a lot of shit that goes into that. 0.99
01:17:35.000 You can't just... 0.99
01:17:36.000 I've had a lot of friends who are like, let me see what the fuss is all about.
01:17:39.000 I'll go, okay, listen to me. 1.00
01:17:41.000 This shit right here? 0.99
01:17:42.000 There's glass tips, okay? 1.00
01:17:44.000 Smell this.
01:17:44.000 What?
01:17:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:17:45.000 They use glass.
01:17:46.000 Glass at the tip.
01:17:47.000 Take a smell of that.
01:17:48.000 Just smell it.
01:17:49.000 Smell it.
01:17:49.000 Just smell it.
01:17:50.000 See that? 1.00
01:17:51.000 That's not to be fucked with. 1.00
01:17:52.000 No, you don't fuck with it. 1.00
01:17:53.000 No, that's not to be fucked with. 1.00
01:17:54.000 You can smoke it, but you gotta be fucking careful. 1.00
01:17:58.000 This looks like something that I would find out on Colfax in Colorado, like a crackhead. 1.00
01:18:02.000 Crackhead, yeah. 0.99
01:18:03.000 Well, you gotta deal with the stigma.
01:18:04.000 If you handed me this, Joe, I'd be like...
01:18:06.000 I know, right?
01:18:07.000 Well, usually you use paper at the end of it, but glass is better than paper. 0.99
01:18:12.000 And it comes in a fucking bitchin' little... 1.00
01:18:13.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00
01:18:14.000 Yeah, a little vial. 1.00
01:18:15.000 You gonna spark that bitch up right now? 1.00
01:18:16.000 I will, if you want me to. 1.00
01:18:17.000 Do you want some of this?
01:18:18.000 No, I'm not gonna.
01:18:19.000 No.
01:18:20.000 Okay.
01:18:21.000 Now, Bob.
01:18:21.000 I'll have a little.
01:18:22.000 Yeah, watch.
01:18:22.000 So, vapor.
01:18:23.000 Kush vapor. 0.78
01:18:26.000 There it is, glass tip.
01:18:31.000 See, but I do this all the time.
01:18:33.000 I wouldn't recommend a hit like that for a...
01:18:34.000 That'd floor me.
01:18:35.000 That'd be done.
01:18:36.000 Yeah, no, no, no.
01:18:37.000 We'll confuse people.
01:18:38.000 It makes you anxious and freak out. 0.99
01:18:40.000 It makes you confront all sorts of shit that you've been keeping in the back of your head. 1.00
01:18:44.000 But I confront that shit all the time. 1.00
01:18:46.000 So this is my friend. 1.00
01:18:47.000 Okay.
01:18:48.000 So when I dig in on this...
01:18:50.000 So, I mean, like I said, I don't smoke weed.
01:18:53.000 I mean, I've done it, of course, and we did a backpacking trip with a couple of buddies of mine, and they brought weed, so of course I smoked it.
01:19:01.000 Backpacking weed go hand-to-hand.
01:19:03.000 And I was in charge of the GPS, so where we were going, I don't know, but it was two miles as the crow flies. 0.86
01:19:10.000 Every fucking time they asked me where I was going, because we kept moving, but the spot we were going to stayed the same. 0.76
01:19:15.000 So everywhere we went, it says two miles as the crow flies, so I don't know. 0.99
01:19:20.000 Two miles as the crow flies is such a fucking mountain term. 0.99
01:19:23.000 People who have never hiked, they have no idea what you're talking about. 0.99
01:19:26.000 Right.
01:19:27.000 But the idea, folks, is that if you go down and then up, well, the distance between those points straight as a crow would fly is like a mile.
01:19:35.000 But you're going like a mile and a half, two miles, maybe three. 0.99
01:19:39.000 Forever, and you're still two fucking miles. 0.96
01:19:42.000 So every time we're like, where are we at? 0.98
01:19:45.000 Dude, I am amazed at how fucking tired hiking gets you. 0.99
01:19:51.000 Especially with a fucking 80-pack ruck on your back. 1.00
01:19:53.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
01:19:54.000 Bro.
01:19:55.000 Dude, trust me.
01:19:58.000 Especially in Colorado.
01:19:59.000 Yeah, well we brought all our rock climbing gear with us.
01:20:02.000 Oh yeah.
01:20:02.000 30-40 pounds of climbing gear a piece.
01:20:04.000 30-40 pounds of gear and you're dealing with altitude. 1.00
01:20:07.000 Fuck, it's hard, man. 1.00
01:20:08.000 Because we're traditional climbers. 1.00
01:20:09.000 We set our own anchors. 1.00
01:20:11.000 Oh, shit. 0.99
01:20:12.000 I mean, if you're going to do it, why not? 1.00
01:20:13.000 Well, I have this team on... 0.99
01:20:14.000 If you've got to make your sphincter fucking come all the way to a BB, right? 0.99
01:20:16.000 Is that what you do? 0.99
01:20:17.000 You like to make your sphincter really fucking clamp down? 0.98
01:20:20.000 That's the thing, right? 0.99
01:20:20.000 That's living. 0.99
01:20:21.000 That's motherfucking... 0.99
01:20:22.000 When you're hanging out by one finger and you go to set that bolt... 0.99
01:20:26.000 And you don't know if you said it good enough because you're fatigued.
01:20:29.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:20:30.000 And you gotta clip the rope.
01:20:31.000 Sweaty hands.
01:20:32.000 I'm sweaty hands just hearing about this.
01:20:34.000 I had this cat, Alex Honnold.
01:20:37.000 You know who he is?
01:20:38.000 He's like one of the greatest free climbers in the world.
01:20:41.000 You want to talk about setting your sphincter? 0.99
01:20:42.000 This guy climbs shit that most people don't even want to climb. 0.99
01:20:45.000 That's him sitting up there. 1.00
01:20:47.000 He climbs shit with no ropes. 1.00
01:20:49.000 And one time, he's halfway up the mountain when he realized that he forgot his fucking chalk. 1.00
01:20:54.000 He didn't bring any powder. 0.98
01:20:55.000 So he's halfway up the mountain.
01:20:57.000 And I don't even like to do kettlebells without powder.
01:21:00.000 What do you do at that point?
01:21:01.000 Just kind of give it a little...
01:21:02.000 He just kept going.
01:21:03.000 He's an animal. 1.00
01:21:04.000 I mean, this fucking kid... 1.00
01:21:05.000 Look at what he's doing. 1.00
01:21:06.000 Look at this fucking angle. 1.00
01:21:07.000 We call that now today, your pot fucking committed, right? 1.00
01:21:10.000 When you're halfway, you don't just climb down. 0.98
01:21:12.000 So his only option is, where's the commode at?
01:21:14.000 I gotta pee bad.
01:21:15.000 Oh, right out there.
01:21:16.000 Go right out the door and take a leak. 0.68
01:21:18.000 I hear you, dude.
01:21:21.000 Yes, I'll be right out.
01:21:22.000 Fine without you. 0.99
01:21:24.000 Donald is going to be fighting for the title in, fuck, when is it? 0.99
01:21:30.000 December in Orlando, Florida. 0.99
01:21:34.000 And he's fighting Rafael Dos Anjos, the guy who beat Anthony Pettis, who is one of the baddest motherfuckers in the sport. 0.98
01:21:42.000 So Dos Anjos is a beast. 0.97
01:21:44.000 It's a really big fight, a really important fight.
01:21:48.000 And it's a fight that... 0.98
01:21:50.000 As much as he'll talk about how much he doesn't give a fuck and he's having a good time and everything like that, this is something he's been working towards for a long, long time. 0.99
01:21:59.000 But while he's peeing, I can just tell you this, this is how this guy is all the time. 0.99
01:22:03.000 He's not putting on a show.
01:22:04.000 He's a great guy, too.
01:22:06.000 He's fun to hang out with, man.
01:22:07.000 He's always like this.
01:22:08.000 He's always friendly.
01:22:10.000 When you hear about him getting in fights with people, the fact that he barely neck-kicked that guy, if a lot of people said that, I'd be like... 0.98
01:22:16.000 Please, you fucking teed off on him. 0.97
01:22:19.000 Like, I would have probably teed off on him, but he really would, like, hit him nice. 0.99
01:22:23.000 Why do you have Eddie Bravo and Ari Sheffield staring at me when I pee in there? 0.87
01:22:26.000 Ari Sheffield!
01:22:29.000 Ari Shafir.
01:22:31.000 My buddy Mike Maxwell made a bunch of...
01:22:33.000 Shafir, Sheffield, my bad.
01:22:35.000 Sheffield?
01:22:35.000 My girlfriend's name is Sheffield.
01:22:38.000 Oh, that's very different.
01:22:39.000 You think about Ari, you think about your girlfriend.
01:22:41.000 Things got weird. 0.83
01:22:42.000 That got super fucking weird.
01:22:44.000 Yeah, my friend Mike made a bunch of different pictures. 0.63
01:22:48.000 This is with Joey back there.
01:22:50.000 We've got to revise the Joey.
01:22:51.000 The Joey Diaz one didn't come out so good.
01:22:53.000 No, which one was he?
01:22:55.000 It's in the back.
01:22:56.000 Jeez.
01:22:56.000 It didn't work out.
01:22:57.000 Needs to redo that.
01:22:58.000 So, I just bought some new guns.
01:23:00.000 Yeah, I saw, man.
01:23:01.000 So, what is an Integrally Suppressed 300 Win Mag?
01:23:04.000 So, that's where the suppressor is part of the barrel.
01:23:08.000 The suppressor for people that don't know guns is a silencer?
01:23:10.000 That's what makes it really quiet? 1.00
01:23:11.000 Sounds like a faggot fartin'. 1.00
01:23:13.000 Really? 1.00
01:23:15.000 All you hear is the bolt.
01:23:16.000 Nothing.
01:23:16.000 And I have a.300 wind mag.
01:23:18.000 So you have a.300 wind mag, right? 1.00
01:23:19.000 Yeah, it's a motherfucker of a gun. 0.99
01:23:21.000 It's got so much kick. 0.99
01:23:23.000 So this has very little kick, too, because it's...
01:23:25.000 Zero kick.
01:23:26.000 That's insane.
01:23:26.000 So normally, people, they shoot and they double tap.
01:23:29.000 Bing, bing, bing.
01:23:30.000 Right?
01:23:31.000 Right.
01:23:31.000 No, you can just...
01:23:32.000 Whatever you want, man.
01:23:33.000 That's insane.
01:23:35.000 Insane!
01:23:35.000 So we are super, super sonic rounds, right?
01:23:38.000 Which is, it breaks the sound barrier.
01:23:40.000 That's illegal in California, isn't it, this gun?
01:23:42.000 I'm sure. 1.00
01:23:42.000 Fuck everything's legal in California. 1.00
01:23:44.000 I have no idea. 1.00
01:23:45.000 So they make sub...
01:23:47.000 Subsonic ammo?
01:23:49.000 Subsonic ammo, right?
01:23:50.000 So you don't hear it.
01:23:50.000 Right, but we were shooting supersonic ammo out of it just to prove a point.
01:23:53.000 Wow.
01:23:54.000 All you could hear is the bolt.
01:23:55.000 Click, click, click.
01:23:57.000 That's insane.
01:23:57.000 Bro, insane.
01:23:59.000 So the guy that came out to my house, it's Keystone Armory.
01:24:02.000 Plugging him right now.
01:24:03.000 Yeah, well, please do.
01:24:05.000 They would spit down the barrel because suppressors aren't made to get wet. 1.00
01:24:09.000 With that fucking gun, how many rounds does that hold? 1.00
01:24:11.000 30. Dude, my.300 windbang is a bolt-action rifle. 1.00
01:24:15.000 It holds three.
01:24:15.000 I have the same one, right?
01:24:17.000 So, it's unbelievable.
01:24:20.000 We were literally shooting it in my backyard, and the guys across the street, we called them over.
01:24:24.000 They're like, dude, we thought you guys were just using your nail gun, shooting, building the house.
01:24:28.000 That's insane.
01:24:29.000 It's like, clink, clink, clink, clink.
01:24:30.000 So, they have 9mm,.45, and...
01:24:35.000 It sounds like a pelagon.
01:24:37.000 You can't even possess them in California, which is really weird.
01:24:41.000 You know, in Europe, hunting without a silencer is rude.
01:24:45.000 Like, they all have suppressors because they don't want to hurt people's ears.
01:24:49.000 It doesn't make sense that you can hunt with an archery equipment, archery setup, which is totally silent.
01:24:55.000 You see that badass Talladega shirt I have?
01:24:57.000 Have you ever been to Talladega?
01:24:58.000 Never been.
01:24:59.000 Tell me about Talladega.
01:25:00.000 So fun.
01:25:00.000 Yeah?
01:25:01.000 Talladega and Daytona, if you guys are NASCAR fans, or if you're not, you need to go just experience the infield.
01:25:08.000 You know what I really like watching?
01:25:10.000 I like people turning left and then right.
01:25:12.000 I like a lot of movement in my racing.
01:25:14.000 I like that Formula One thing where they go around a lot.
01:25:17.000 Listen, Kevin Harvick is a dear friend of mine.
01:25:19.000 Number four all day.
01:25:23.000 They're the best left turners on the planet.
01:25:25.000 Ever, ever.
01:25:27.000 Nobody left turns like that.
01:25:28.000 Okay, so let's talk about this.
01:25:28.000 We're going here, okay?
01:25:29.000 Okay.
01:25:30.000 So I show up to Michigan.
01:25:32.000 Michigan.
01:25:32.000 Michigan.
01:25:33.000 Kevin's racing. 0.98
01:25:34.000 I said, you know what, how fucking good, how good could it, I mean, how hard could it be? 0.97
01:25:39.000 So I said, let's go to a go-kart race. 0.99
01:25:42.000 I'll fucking, I'll run with you. 0.98
01:25:43.000 Right, so he calls up the nearest go-kart track. 0.99
01:25:46.000 So we'll be right there.
01:25:47.000 We show up.
01:25:48.000 I said, where's the fastest kart? 0.99
01:25:50.000 And fucking badass, Kevin says, which one's the slowest? 1.00
01:25:53.000 This motherfucker was running laps around me in the fucking go-kart. 1.00
01:25:57.000 And I'm a go-kart-going motherfucker. 1.00
01:25:59.000 I feel like you're not going to beat me in a go-kart. 0.99
01:26:02.000 And he did. 0.99
01:26:03.000 Very few people ever get to say, I'm a go-kart-going motherfucker. 0.99
01:26:06.000 He'd pull over and wait for me to catch up and fucking catch me again. 0.99
01:26:10.000 It's all about how they... 0.93
01:26:12.000 You know, when you're taking those corners and you hear, that means you're losing speed.
01:26:17.000 He just knows how to cut the lines. 0.99
01:26:19.000 It's fucking unbelievable. 0.98
01:26:20.000 Well, I would imagine, even to be just a guy who does NASCAR, you would have to be one of the top drivers in the world. 0.99
01:26:27.000 The difference is, I appreciate the shit out of it. 0.98
01:26:30.000 And women. 0.98
01:26:30.000 Danica, I love her. 0.98
01:26:32.000 She's hot, too. 1.00
01:26:33.000 Crazy. 0.59
01:26:33.000 It's like the Ronda Rousey of racing. 0.59
01:26:35.000 Except for Ronda's not hot. 1.00
01:26:36.000 How dare you?
01:26:39.000 What?
01:26:39.000 How dare you?
01:26:40.000 I say it loudly and proudly.
01:26:42.000 Oh my goodness.
01:26:45.000 You have higher standards than me, sir. 1.00
01:26:47.000 I think she's hot as fuck. 1.00
01:26:49.000 You don't think she's hot? 1.00
01:26:50.000 I don't want to get into this.
01:26:51.000 We don't want to go there?
01:26:53.000 I like her too much.
01:26:54.000 But when you watch Formula One racing...
01:26:57.000 Do you feel like you have a biased opinion when you're commentating because you like her so much?
01:27:01.000 I have a biased opinion towards you, too.
01:27:04.000 Okay.
01:27:04.000 I do.
01:27:05.000 Next question.
01:27:06.000 I try to suppress it.
01:27:07.000 Next question.
01:27:08.000 Look, I try to suppress it, but part of being a commentator is if, like, Uriah Faber.
01:27:14.000 I love that dude.
01:27:15.000 Right. 0.99
01:27:15.000 I think Uriah Faber is a cool motherfucker. 0.99
01:27:17.000 I love talking to him. 0.99
01:27:18.000 Right.
01:27:19.000 When he fights, I have to put myself in a place where I don't think about that.
01:27:23.000 Sure.
01:27:23.000 TJ. When TJ fights, I have to put myself in a place where I don't think about that.
01:27:26.000 I'll tell you what.
01:27:26.000 I hate to tell you this.
01:27:28.000 I love Conor.
01:27:29.000 I love that dude.
01:27:30.000 So my grandma always tells me she watches the fight and she has to put it on mute and then she has to watch the real fight.
01:27:37.000 She doesn't like me?
01:27:38.000 No, no, she loves you.
01:27:39.000 But she just likes to be no silence and see the fight in its integrity.
01:27:46.000 They should offer that.
01:27:48.000 Because you, Joe, are to the fans...
01:27:51.000 Can weigh the scale.
01:27:53.000 I definitely can.
01:27:54.000 I know that.
01:27:55.000 That's why it's important for me to...
01:27:58.000 I try to be as objective about...
01:28:00.000 But I also have to be honest.
01:28:01.000 If something's happening, and some guys...
01:28:04.000 It hurts.
01:28:04.000 But what you see sometimes, the judges don't agree with.
01:28:07.000 So sometimes the fans, you...
01:28:11.000 They're heavy on the scale one side.
01:28:13.000 I could be, but I think I probably am better at it than the judges.
01:28:18.000 Sure.
01:28:18.000 There's a real problem.
01:28:19.000 That's an arrogant thing to say. 1.00
01:28:21.000 The judges suck. 1.00
01:28:22.000 They're real bad. 1.00
01:28:23.000 Did you watch?
01:28:24.000 I don't think they're fans.
01:28:25.000 Bam Bam Healy fight that just happened.
01:28:27.000 Yeah, I heard about it. 0.98
01:28:29.000 It sucked. 0.99
01:28:29.000 I heard about it. 0.99
01:28:30.000 Totally sucked. 0.98
01:28:30.000 I'm not even remotely surprised. 0.98
01:28:32.000 I have it recorded.
01:28:33.000 I'm going to watch it.
01:28:34.000 You can watch it on Fight Pass, right?
01:28:36.000 Fight Pass, yeah.
01:28:37.000 And Bam Bam won the fight. 0.99
01:28:40.000 We've seen that, man.
01:28:41.000 We saw that in Ramsey Nijim's last fight.
01:28:45.000 It happens a lot.
01:28:46.000 With the Henderson and myself first fight, I feel like I won. 0.96
01:28:49.000 The third fight that we just had, I don't fucking know, man.
01:28:52.000 I gotta honestly tell you, I thought he edged you. 0.97
01:28:55.000 I just thought he edged you.
01:28:57.000 But it was a very close fight.
01:28:59.000 It wasn't a travesty.
01:29:01.000 Sure.
01:29:02.000 That was the hardest fight I've ever had.
01:29:04.000 Sure, and I'm not hiding it. 0.96
01:29:07.000 And look, Benson is one of the fucking best on the planet. 0.93
01:29:10.000 And you're one of the best on the planet. 0.97
01:29:12.000 It was a great fight.
01:29:13.000 I mean, there was no doubt about it.
01:29:16.000 It was a super high-level, very entertaining fight.
01:29:19.000 And Benson's coming down to help me train for this fight.
01:29:21.000 That's awesome.
01:29:21.000 I love that dude.
01:29:22.000 So do I. He's got a great soul.
01:29:24.000 That's what he told me.
01:29:24.000 He's like, hey man, you got this one, they gave me the first one.
01:29:27.000 Fucking go get it. 0.99
01:29:28.000 That's what he said to me. 1.00
01:29:29.000 That's beautiful.
01:29:30.000 I'm glad he did that.
01:29:32.000 I'm biased towards a lot of guys.
01:29:34.000 I'm biased towards Chad Mendes.
01:29:37.000 I love that dude.
01:29:38.000 I think he's a great guy.
01:29:40.000 But when they're fighting... 1.00
01:29:41.000 Damn, dude, I try to let all that shit slide away. 1.00
01:29:44.000 I try to look at it as objectively as possible. 0.99
01:29:46.000 So, like, in the Ronda-Betch-Cohea fight, if Betch beat the fuck out of Ronda in that fight, I would be calling it as if it was one of the most spectacular moments in MMA, even though I'm a friend of Ronda's and a fan of hers. 0.98
01:29:59.000 God, how fucking badass did she look? 1.00
01:30:00.000 Goddamn, she's good. 0.99
01:30:01.000 That was a Leonard Garcia-Ronda fight. 0.98
01:30:04.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:30:05.000 She just bit down on her mouthpiece and fucked that girl up. 1.00
01:30:07.000 Gave it. 1.00
01:30:08.000 And did it, like, flawlessly. 0.99
01:30:10.000 That fucking right hand she hit her with and then tagged her with the left as she's going down. 1.00
01:30:14.000 She's not winging shit. 1.00
01:30:15.000 She's throwing perfect, clean technique. 1.00
01:30:18.000 Come on.
01:30:18.000 Those were wingers.
01:30:19.000 Those were fucking wingers. 1.00
01:30:20.000 It was a chaos fight, but she's throwing clean technique, man. 1.00
01:30:24.000 For her it's a winger.
01:30:26.000 But the way she landed the right hand, then as the girl's going down, she hits her with the left, there's no wind-up in that. 0.99
01:30:32.000 And she's only been fucking striking for a few years, man. 0.97
01:30:36.000 It's a recent thing. 0.99
01:30:38.000 Because if it will, it will.
01:30:39.000 You know what, man? 1.00
01:30:40.000 If you're one of those fucking people, like, that girl's got that brain. 1.00
01:30:44.000 If you're one of those fucking people, she could be the best surfer. 1.00
01:30:48.000 She could be, she'd find her way. 1.00
01:30:50.000 You know, if Danica Patrick was the number one NASCAR driver, she'd find a way to get in front of that bitch. 1.00
01:30:54.000 Right. 0.99
01:30:55.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:30:55.000 Sure.
01:30:56.000 There's some people out there that, like, that girl doesn't have any loser in her. 1.00
01:30:59.000 Sure.
01:30:59.000 She figures out a way to win.
01:31:01.000 Win her whole life. 1.00
01:31:02.000 Her mother is a bad motherfucker, too. 1.00
01:31:04.000 Can you say that? 1.00
01:31:05.000 A mother's a bad motherfucker, but I say that with all due respect. 1.00
01:31:09.000 Motherfucker is used as loosely as cunt is for Australian. 1.00
01:31:14.000 Or English. 1.00
01:31:15.000 English.
01:31:15.000 English is a term of endearment.
01:31:17.000 He's a good cunt. 1.00
01:31:18.000 I was with these wild fishers. 1.00
01:31:21.000 He was just with me today, and that's all he says. 1.00
01:31:22.000 You fucking cunt, you cheeky cunt. 1.00
01:31:25.000 You cheeky cunt. 1.00
01:31:26.000 You drive that R.A.M. 350, you fucking cunt. 1.00
01:31:30.000 What's an R.A.M. 350? 1.00
01:31:31.000 A Ram 3500. He don't know how...
01:31:36.000 I thought it was some kind of crazy...
01:31:38.000 Right?
01:31:38.000 No.
01:31:39.000 It's a Ram.
01:31:39.000 A Ram truck.
01:31:40.000 They don't even have those over there.
01:31:42.000 I have a buddy who lives in Australia.
01:31:43.000 Bro.
01:31:44.000 It's the biggest truck you can get is like a Toyota Tacoma.
01:31:46.000 These guys are...
01:31:47.000 A Tundra or something. 0.99
01:31:48.000 So we're at a bar in Vegas and they just tell these guys, hey, you cunts. 0.99
01:31:53.000 And I'm like, if I would say, hey, you cunts, I'll get thrown out of the bar. 0.99
01:31:58.000 Well, worldly folks know that it's different to them. 0.99
01:32:00.000 He'd be like, hey, barmaid. 0.99
01:32:02.000 Hey, barmaid. 1.00
01:32:03.000 Bring more around, you cunt. 1.00
01:32:05.000 Oh. 1.00
01:32:06.000 She would just... 0.51
01:32:07.000 I mean, I don't know if she could understand him, but I was like, what is going on here? 0.98
01:32:12.000 Did you tell him that cunt is different for us civilized folk here in the modern world? 1.00
01:32:18.000 They're living in the 50s over there. 0.99
01:32:19.000 It's like a John Wayne movie.
01:32:23.000 Unbelievable.
01:32:23.000 I love Australia, man.
01:32:25.000 I fucking love going there, too. 0.73
01:32:27.000 I'm looking forward to Melbourne. 0.95
01:32:28.000 I've never been to Melbourne.
01:32:29.000 Yeah, Kyle Noak's fighting there.
01:32:30.000 Is he?
01:32:30.000 Is he fighting that card?
01:32:31.000 Fighting at the ranch.
01:32:32.000 I like that dude.
01:32:33.000 Yes, Kyle Noak.
01:32:34.000 Strong dude.
01:32:35.000 Kyle Noak, wasn't he a bodyguard to the Crocodile Hunter?
01:32:39.000 Yeah, he was.
01:32:40.000 Isn't that crazy?
01:32:40.000 We talk about it all the time.
01:32:41.000 Absolutely. 1.00
01:32:42.000 You want to know even a crazier fucking story? 0.99
01:32:44.000 So Kyle Noak and Jonathan Webb just signed to the UFC, trained the... 0.98
01:32:48.000 Jonathan, who had to be at the ranch, came and trained Kyle for his fight the entire way.
01:32:53.000 Kyle's opponent got pulled out, and they called Jonathan and had him take the fight. 0.62
01:32:57.000 So they trained for each other the entire fucking eight weeks, and then fought each other. 0.79
01:33:03.000 Jesus Christ, so they have to fight each other or they did fight each other? 0.99
01:33:06.000 Where'd they fight?
01:33:07.000 In Australia.
01:33:09.000 Who won that fight?
01:33:09.000 Kyle won.
01:33:10.000 Wow. 1.00
01:33:11.000 Damn. 1.00
01:33:12.000 That's hard, right? 0.99
01:33:13.000 And Jonovan looked spectacular, man.
01:33:15.000 It was unbelievable.
01:33:16.000 It was crazy.
01:33:17.000 For all of us, like coaching and internal guys, it was like, what? 1.00
01:33:22.000 But Kyle tells Jonovan, you idiot, if you don't take the fight. 1.00
01:33:26.000 You know what I mean? 1.00
01:33:26.000 They're giving you a fight in the UFC. All you want to do is, you stupid son of a bitch, take the fight. 1.00
01:33:31.000 Have you had that happen to you? 1.00
01:33:36.000 Other than Benson, I mean, I fought Melvin Gallard.
01:33:41.000 Yeah, that's right.
01:33:42.000 You trained with Melvin.
01:33:43.000 Many years, yeah, very many years.
01:33:46.000 There was some psychological warfare in that fight, too.
01:33:48.000 Sure.
01:33:49.000 Because you said that Melvin used to quit in training.
01:33:52.000 You're like, I'm going to make him quit again.
01:33:53.000 Yeah, absolutely.
01:33:54.000 Why not?
01:33:56.000 Psychological war.
01:33:57.000 Psychological war.
01:33:57.000 On your friend, too, right?
01:33:58.000 On your friend.
01:34:00.000 Doggy dog. 1.00
01:34:01.000 But the son of a bitch came out and whammered, dammered me, didn't he? 1.00
01:34:04.000 Yeah, he was like, whoa! 1.00
01:34:05.000 Was it left hook? 1.00
01:34:06.000 Son of a bitch! 1.00
01:34:07.000 Hold up here! 1.00
01:34:08.000 Yeah.
01:34:08.000 Was that the hardest time you've ever been hit?
01:34:10.000 I think you said in one of those UFC countdown things, that was the hardest time you've ever been hit.
01:34:13.000 Other than Leonard training, yeah.
01:34:14.000 I was one of them.
01:34:15.000 Is that a training?
01:34:16.000 Jesus Christ.
01:34:18.000 The dude, rock on a rope.
01:34:19.000 Other than that, but...
01:34:21.000 Rock on a rope.
01:34:22.000 That's hilarious.
01:34:23.000 Rock on a rope.
01:34:26.000 People don't know what you're talking about.
01:34:27.000 If you had a rock on the end of a rope and just swung it, that's the way Leonard throws punches.
01:34:32.000 Rock on a rope.
01:34:33.000 A rock on a rope.
01:34:34.000 Wow.
01:34:35.000 I mean, you know, there's a great video where Connor, love him or hate him, is teaching when he's coaching this season, the Ultimate Fighter, and they're doing these real specific drills, and he said a cool thing that I think John Cavanaugh says.
01:34:49.000 He said, this is upgrading your software without damaging your hardware.
01:34:54.000 There's two schools of thought, right?
01:34:56.000 There's that school of thought, like fight smart, train smart, and then there's a school of thought where you ride jet skis over the top of cliffs the day before you fight.
01:35:07.000 Oh, we made weight. 0.98
01:35:08.000 Let's go fucking swim with sharks. 0.99
01:35:11.000 I mean, that's your school of thought. 0.99
01:35:13.000 It's sort of a different school of thought.
01:35:15.000 Very much so, yeah.
01:35:17.000 How hard training sessions are you having in camp?
01:35:21.000 Are you guys going full out?
01:35:22.000 Sure, sure.
01:35:23.000 I mean...
01:35:24.000 Some days, some days not.
01:35:26.000 Some days not. 0.99
01:35:27.000 I may wake up on a Tuesday like I'm not feeling it, and I'll go fucking wakeboard. 0.99
01:35:31.000 You just decided not to train. 0.93
01:35:33.000 Yeah, I mean, I got all the guys, all my coaches right there, and they've been with me for so long that they just say, okay.
01:35:39.000 So, you know, a lot of people think that that actually is a smart thing, that that's active recovery.
01:35:44.000 If I'm sore and I'm tired, I'll call it.
01:35:48.000 Today's not the day.
01:35:49.000 But you like to still do things, though?
01:35:52.000 Oh, yeah.
01:35:52.000 I mean, we go rock climbing, wakeboarding.
01:35:57.000 Right, but if you think about that, like, so you're still working.
01:36:00.000 You're still moving your body.
01:36:02.000 Right.
01:36:02.000 You're not taking a day and just sleeping.
01:36:04.000 Man, there's been, I don't know how many days in my life that I've just done nothing but slept.
01:36:09.000 Look at today's day.
01:36:11.000 I got off the plane, went surfing, trained old boy, now I'm here.
01:36:14.000 That's just your thing.
01:36:16.000 You're just always moving.
01:36:17.000 Running and gunning, baby.
01:36:21.000 I love it, man.
01:36:22.000 I love it.
01:36:23.000 I mean, that's just, that's my, that's how I'm geared.
01:36:26.000 I just have, I have, and my friends have to take breaks.
01:36:29.000 They tell me all the time, like, cowboy, I got a week for you. 0.98
01:36:32.000 After that, We gotta tag team somebody else in because we can't keep this fucking pace. 0.99
01:36:38.000 You're too much. 0.99
01:36:39.000 You go, go, go, go, go.
01:36:41.000 There's days that I'll train, wakeboard all day, and come back and train.
01:36:44.000 Wow.
01:36:47.000 But you're enjoying it, so you're getting a rush the whole time.
01:36:50.000 So the way I look at life right now is I'm retired now.
01:36:55.000 Because when I quit making money and it's time to properly retire, I'm not going to have any money.
01:37:00.000 So going to Fiji and go scuba diving is like, oh, what's scuba diving?
01:37:03.000 My favorite thing.
01:37:04.000 I'm going 400 feet.
01:37:05.000 All you need is a good financial advisor. 0.97
01:37:08.000 All you need is someone who you trust to take care of your money and handle shit and make sure you And say what? 0.98
01:37:14.000 And say what? 1.00
01:37:15.000 The goddamn money? 1.00
01:37:17.000 Have you ever seen a herge with a trailer hitch? 1.00
01:37:19.000 This is what I'm saying.
01:37:20.000 Have you ever seen a herge with a trailer hitch? 1.00
01:37:22.000 All right.
01:37:22.000 But if you just stay being a cowboy, we just need to figure out a way to get this out.
01:37:27.000 You don't ever have to work again a day in your life.
01:37:29.000 When you're done fighting, you're not going to be broke.
01:37:31.000 You just need the right guy to steer you. 1.00
01:37:33.000 You're a fucking... 1.00
01:37:34.000 I got my grandma. 1.00
01:37:35.000 I call her all the time.
01:37:37.000 Maybe she's the gal. 1.00
01:37:38.000 She is.
01:37:38.000 Perfect.
01:37:39.000 I ask her what I should do, and she says, fucking ride it till the wheels burn off the motherfucker. 1.00
01:37:44.000 You just need to let people know you're out there. 1.00
01:37:46.000 That's all you need to do.
01:37:48.000 I mean, what you've got, what you are, I mean, I'm not blowing you.
01:37:51.000 I'm retired now.
01:37:53.000 What you are is like what everybody wants out of their superheroes.
01:37:57.000 What you are is what everybody wants out of their- Why are I retired when I'm 50? 0.98
01:38:00.000 And I'm old as fuck and I can't wakeboard, but I'm trying? 0.96
01:38:03.000 When fans see a guy like, that's what everybody wants. 0.99
01:38:05.000 They want a guy who's just living like a fucking wild man and going in there. 0.98
01:38:10.000 There's something appealing to that. 0.99
01:38:11.000 There's something appealing- It's called live a life worth living.
01:38:14.000 But there's something appealing to the Spartan too, right? 0.92
01:38:16.000 There's something appealing to the guys willing to not have sex, shut out all distractions, put a fucking poster on his wall, write down his goals, some Dan Gable type dude who's just stoic and fucking never-ending and indomitable spirit and this guy just doesn't do anything bad for his body. 0.99
01:38:32.000 Hey brother, you wanna go fucking... 0.99
01:38:34.000 Wakeboarding with me is like, man, I'm fucking in the zone. 0.98
01:38:38.000 And I'm like, what's the zone we were talking about when you're behind? 0.88
01:38:42.000 No, that's not today.
01:38:43.000 That's in your fight.
01:38:45.000 Let's go have some fun today.
01:38:46.000 And I said, well, all right, I'm going to go have some fun.
01:38:52.000 It's a balance, right?
01:38:53.000 It's trying to figure out what's the best way to do it.
01:38:55.000 What's the best way to do it?
01:38:56.000 Because, like, Dan Gabel, I brought up.
01:38:58.000 Did you play football?
01:38:59.000 No, never played football. 1.00
01:39:00.000 Steered away from that shit. 1.00
01:39:01.000 Okay, so you hear the guys that are still 35, 40 years old talking about that game. 1.00
01:39:06.000 Right.
01:39:07.000 That they had.
01:39:07.000 Yep.
01:39:08.000 I think that's what I search for every day. 0.99
01:39:11.000 You know, like, fighting is fucking, I love it. 0.98
01:39:13.000 I get it six times a year if I'm lucky. 0.98
01:39:15.000 And this year, I get it one time.
01:39:17.000 So, I think that's why I do the things I do because it gives me that feeling that I'm searching for.
01:39:22.000 That scared, what am I doing, oh my god feeling.
01:39:26.000 Well, you like proving yourself and you like adventure.
01:39:29.000 And those are two things that a lot of people shy away from.
01:39:31.000 I mean, if you...
01:39:32.000 You know?
01:39:32.000 Competition.
01:39:33.000 If you came right now and said you're a better bowhunter than me, I'd be able... 0.99
01:39:36.000 Set the motherfucking target. 0.99
01:39:38.000 Let's go. 0.99
01:39:39.000 Let's do it.
01:39:40.000 Well, that's also the only way you get good at anything.
01:39:44.000 People shy away from that.
01:39:45.000 There's only one way. 0.99
01:39:47.000 You surround yourself with bad motherfuckers who are doing exactly what you do, and you force yourself to keep up. 0.99
01:39:52.000 And you all inspire each other. 0.99
01:39:53.000 That is the problem in this sport.
01:39:55.000 Because I see that in the gym all the time.
01:39:56.000 You see the guys...
01:39:58.000 Sparring day comes, or grappling day comes, you see all the guys finding the guy they know they can beat.
01:40:04.000 They don't go after the guy that kills them.
01:40:06.000 Me? 1.00
01:40:07.000 I want you, motherfucker. 1.00
01:40:09.000 Right. 1.00
01:40:10.000 You want the toughest challenge?
01:40:11.000 Oh, you the baddest, dude?
01:40:13.000 Let's go. 1.00
01:40:13.000 Fuck me up. 1.00
01:40:14.000 You want the one that's gonna stir you up inside. 1.00
01:40:16.000 Yes, fucking burn me. 1.00
01:40:17.000 Where you submit me three times in five minutes, not gonna happen again. 1.00
01:40:21.000 You know what I mean?
01:40:22.000 That's how I think. 1.00
01:40:23.000 You fucking fuck me up? 1.00
01:40:25.000 I'm calling my coaches like, I just got fucked up. 1.00
01:40:27.000 Right. 0.99
01:40:28.000 Let's fix this problem.
01:40:29.000 Right, right.
01:40:30.000 So that's, I mean, I want the guys that push me.
01:40:32.000 I need those.
01:40:33.000 I need that in my life.
01:40:34.000 Well, when you get to the level that you're at, too, you also realize that those guys that push you are the reason why you put in that extra effort that takes you to the top of your ability.
01:40:43.000 And there's a few guys that we all know that never...
01:40:48.000 Quite reach the top of their ability like you hear about them in the gym.
01:40:52.000 They're fucking on fire They just have that you know they have they have days with their world beaters and for whatever reason They don't ever get it together in the moment of crisis gym heroes.
01:41:03.000 Yeah, right absolutely. 0.97
01:41:06.000 It's this sport is unbelievable man, it's like a You have to be able to go out there and fight at your best every single day.
01:41:14.000 And you have to execute under insane pressure.
01:41:17.000 That's the most admirable quality about it.
01:41:19.000 You know, like, sometimes when I look around, like, that was one of the craziest things about Ronda's fight, was after she knocked out Betch Gaheya, she just strutted around the cage and looked up at everybody, just took it all in.
01:41:32.000 She strutted, she just face-planted that chick on a straight-out-of-Compton ad, okay? 1.00
01:41:38.000 I mean, she really did. 0.99
01:41:39.000 Which the movie was fucking unbelievable. 0.98
01:41:41.000 I didn't see the movie. 0.90
01:41:42.000 You haven't seen the movie?
01:41:42.000 No, I didn't see the movie.
01:41:43.000 It's great.
01:41:44.000 I'm sure it's great.
01:41:44.000 It's great.
01:41:45.000 But the fact that she face-planted her on that and then just walked around...
01:41:49.000 Like, that moment.
01:41:50.000 Like, that moment. 0.99
01:41:51.000 Who the fuck understands that moment but her? 0.99
01:41:53.000 Who are you? 0.99
01:41:53.000 Or anybody who experiences it. 0.99
01:41:55.000 You know, the moment where...
01:41:57.000 You know think of like the Edson Barboza fight when you crack him with that jab and then take his back like that moment when he taps and you stand up and the whole crowd goes fucking apeshit because it was chaos up until that moment right he came out guns blazing then you caught him with that jab he went down you got his back and strangled him that moment man when you were in the fire in that moment Barboza says he blinks but in that moment About 20 seconds before that moment,
01:42:24.000 I know I got him.
01:42:25.000 How'd you know? 0.99
01:42:26.000 Because he hit me with fucking everything he had in the kitchen sink, and when he unloaded, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, kicked me as hard as he could, and I just stood there, and he looked at his corner and was like, now what? 0.99
01:42:35.000 I was like, gotcha. 0.99
01:42:37.000 Wow.
01:42:38.000 So you saw a moment of thinking, a moment of contemplation.
01:42:42.000 I got it.
01:42:43.000 I got you. 1.00
01:42:44.000 He's a talented motherfucker. 1.00
01:42:45.000 Super talented. 0.99
01:42:45.000 Absolutely. 0.99
01:42:46.000 That switch kick that he was hitting Paul Felder with was the fastest switch kick I've ever seen in my life.
01:42:51.000 I've never seen anybody throw it like that.
01:42:53.000 Hard and fast. 1.00
01:42:54.000 Like, Jesus fucking Christ! 1.00
01:42:57.000 Mark Henry and him... 1.00
01:42:59.000 Paul's a ginger, so it's showing a little bit more than... 0.95
01:43:01.000 He could be a black dude. 0.97
01:43:03.000 He could be black like Czech Congo. 0.99
01:43:05.000 You would have been impressed by that kick. 0.99
01:43:07.000 That kick was insane.
01:43:08.000 He's so fast, man.
01:43:10.000 His coach, Mark Henry, that's a guy who's like one of the most underappreciated guys in the sport.
01:43:15.000 And after the fight, they came in and said, man, we studied Paul to a tee.
01:43:20.000 We took this fight so serious, you know?
01:43:22.000 Dude, he's a wizard, that guy.
01:43:23.000 He's unsung.
01:43:24.000 He's like a really quiet guy.
01:43:25.000 He doesn't want a lot of attention. 0.79
01:43:27.000 But I admire the fuck out of the way that guy coaches Frankie Edgar, the way that guy...
01:43:32.000 How about Connor and Frankie?
01:43:34.000 I love Frankie.
01:43:35.000 Ooh, I love that fight. 1.00
01:43:35.000 Have you ever seen the guy when he goes, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you? 1.00
01:43:41.000 That's why I feel like what happened at the press conference. 1.00
01:43:43.000 Because all he said to Frankie was, you're welcome.
01:43:46.000 That was it.
01:43:48.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:43:48.000 So I felt like the fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you. 1.00
01:43:52.000 That's what would happen. 1.00
01:43:53.000 Because...
01:43:55.000 The ability of level change that he puts with his box.
01:43:58.000 I love Frankie.
01:44:01.000 I love Frankie.
01:44:01.000 Frankie will set.
01:44:02.000 You've got to run an ultra marathon with him.
01:44:05.000 You've got to be willing to go to the depths of your ability. 0.99
01:44:08.000 And there's a guy that fought at 55 undersized and won the fucking title. 0.99
01:44:13.000 Always. 1.00
01:44:13.000 Crazy. 1.00
01:44:14.000 Won the title undersized. 0.94
01:44:16.000 He was so much smaller than BJ. So much smaller than a lot of the guys he beat.
01:44:20.000 Had those tough fights with Henderson. 0.99
01:44:22.000 That fight with Cub Swanson, I was like, good lord, that fucking pace he puts on people. 0.98
01:44:29.000 He's like, he's taking it to the next level. 0.94
01:44:31.000 When I talk about guys who put paces like that wrestlers break you pace, nobody like Frankie right now in the sport.
01:44:38.000 He's the epitome of that style of fighting.
01:44:40.000 Maybe Weidman could show it too in some fights if he gets the right opponent.
01:44:43.000 How do you feel about the Weidman?
01:44:45.000 It's a crazy fight. 1.00
01:44:47.000 Rockhold's a bad motherfucker. 1.00
01:44:49.000 That's a crazy fight. 1.00
01:44:51.000 Rocco's jiu-jitsu is nasty, man. 0.99
01:44:52.000 The way he controlled Lyoto Machida, I was impressed as fuck. 0.99
01:44:56.000 I was like, Jesus Christ, his ground and pound, his control on the ground, he beat Lyoto Machida at every facet of the game. 1.00
01:45:04.000 And that was impressive as fuck to me. 0.97
01:45:06.000 That was a high-profile fight. 0.99
01:45:08.000 It was a big fight.
01:45:09.000 That impressed the fuck out of me.
01:45:11.000 You know, I think it's a great fight. 0.99
01:45:13.000 Weinman's a monster, man. 0.58
01:45:14.000 What do you think? 1.00
01:45:15.000 You're laughing.
01:45:15.000 No, no, I... Rockwell's a dear friend of mine, so I... I love that dude.
01:45:20.000 I mean, he's out of Khabib's camp. 0.98
01:45:21.000 He's only...
01:45:24.000 Yeah.
01:45:25.000 I know.
01:45:25.000 I like him.
01:45:26.000 I know about all that.
01:45:27.000 Great dude.
01:45:28.000 Well, Khabib, you know, there's always going to be that thing going on between all you guys at the very top.
01:45:34.000 Sure.
01:45:35.000 Why not?
01:45:36.000 Stir in the pot. 1.00
01:45:36.000 But again, like a guy like Khabib, you kind of need that motherfucker. 1.00
01:45:40.000 That guy, he's like a tank of propane out there for you. 0.99
01:45:44.000 You know?
01:45:45.000 He's going to hit that gym.
01:45:46.000 You know what I mean?
01:45:46.000 He's going to hit that gym.
01:45:48.000 That's the guy. 0.96
01:45:49.000 Because he's so fucking good. 0.99
01:45:50.000 I mean, you look at the way he manhandled Dos Anjos, I'm like, Jesus Christ. 1.00
01:45:54.000 Habib Nurmagomedov is a grappling motherfucker. 0.98
01:45:57.000 His wrestling, as someone who appreciates the guy's ability to impose his game plan, he impresses the fuck out of me. 0.99
01:46:04.000 Absolutely.
01:46:05.000 That guy's a giant tank of propane for cowboy.
01:46:08.000 That's it.
01:46:10.000 What a crazy way to make a living, man.
01:46:12.000 You got all these tanks of propane out there.
01:46:14.000 Anthony Pettis.
01:46:15.000 That's it.
01:46:15.000 He's another propane tank.
01:46:17.000 Oh, yeah.
01:46:17.000 Right?
01:46:18.000 Anthony told me, Anthony said, Cowboy, if you need me to come down and train you for Dos Anjos, I hate that motherfucker. 1.00
01:46:23.000 Really? 1.00
01:46:23.000 I'll be there. 1.00
01:46:24.000 Wow.
01:46:25.000 I said, Pettis, I might just hit you up on that.
01:46:27.000 Wow.
01:46:27.000 That would be a good thing, man.
01:46:28.000 He can give you some insight.
01:46:30.000 I love that dude.
01:46:30.000 So do I. I mean, again, with Pettis, I got nothing bad.
01:46:33.000 I really don't have anything bad to say about any of the guys up at the top, you know?
01:46:36.000 It just...
01:46:37.000 Well, you know what, man?
01:46:38.000 Ultimately, outside of you guys competing against each other, you admire what it, because you uniquely know what it takes to be in the position that Anthony Pettis or Rafael Dos Anjos or Nate Diaz or, you know, fill in the blank.
01:46:51.000 All those guys, you uniquely know what it takes to be in.
01:46:53.000 It's a very small fraternity of guys at the elite level.
01:46:57.000 And your division, 155, is just chaos.
01:47:01.000 Like that whole division is like, look at it.
01:47:03.000 It's just killer after killer after killer.
01:47:05.000 Absolutely.
01:47:06.000 Killer's coming up. 1.00
01:47:07.000 Fucking sharks just... 1.00
01:47:09.000 That's what 155 is, like someone throwing a goat in the water in South Africa and watching a fucking sea of sharks. 1.00
01:47:15.000 Get it. 0.96
01:47:15.000 Yeah, I mean, so it's cool to see that you guys, you know, reasonably are friendly with each other. 0.96
01:47:21.000 Absolutely.
01:47:22.000 Considering.
01:47:23.000 Considering.
01:47:23.000 Considering.
01:47:25.000 So what do you think about your boy, the Irish Muppet, coming up to 155?
01:47:30.000 Conor McGregor?
01:47:30.000 Yeah.
01:47:33.000 McNugget.
01:47:33.000 What did you say about him?
01:47:34.000 About kicking the Lucky Charms out of his ass? 1.00
01:47:36.000 I said he came up to 155, I bent him over and fucking knocked the Lucky Charms out of his ass. 1.00
01:47:41.000 I don't know how that works. 1.00
01:47:42.000 It's like blowing on hot soup.
01:47:44.000 So you wouldn't believe the uproar of the Irish community I got from that? 0.98
01:47:49.000 Well, what do you expect them to do to be silent?
01:47:51.000 I'd be more shocked.
01:47:52.000 What if they didn't respond?
01:47:53.000 I'd be more nervous.
01:47:54.000 I'd be like, is my joke that bad? 0.99
01:47:55.000 Me talking shit about a leprechaun is like you talking to me bad about Santa Claus. 0.99
01:48:01.000 Like, I wouldn't, like, oh, oh, you went there? 1.00
01:48:04.000 Like...
01:48:05.000 Come on! 0.61
01:48:05.000 You know what I mean? 0.61
01:48:07.000 Is a leprechaun like their sacred guy?
01:48:09.000 It's like a unicorn.
01:48:10.000 Yeah, I don't know what it is, but a leprechaun is fictional.
01:48:14.000 It's a weird one.
01:48:15.000 Well, it is unless you take the right amount of mushrooms.
01:48:17.000 You can meet leprechauns.
01:48:19.000 So, I mean, to me...
01:48:22.000 That's where it came from, you know.
01:48:23.000 Conor is the leprechaun sitting on the big old tub of gold.
01:48:26.000 He is, right?
01:48:27.000 Absolutely.
01:48:27.000 He's got a pot of gold for sure.
01:48:28.000 So if you think I'm not going to come out of that pot of gold, I'm going.
01:48:31.000 Why not?
01:48:32.000 Come to 155. I got open arms, baby.
01:48:34.000 It would be a fun fight.
01:48:35.000 I'd love it.
01:48:36.000 I think he really struggles to make 145, and I think with this new law where you can't use the IV, you know, when he fought Chad Mendes, man, at the weigh-in, he looked extremely drawn.
01:48:46.000 His cheeks were sucked in.
01:48:48.000 His body looked really small.
01:48:53.000 Right.
01:48:53.000 Staged.
01:48:54.000 It wasn't staged, but Uriah is not, like, he doesn't want to fight in the street with him right before he's going to fight, Chad.
01:49:00.000 Why not? 1.00
01:49:00.000 I wish a motherfucker would. 1.00
01:49:02.000 I know you do, but what Uriah had said was that he said, dude, he feels really small. 0.99
01:49:07.000 Like, he loses a lot of weight.
01:49:09.000 I think he loses, like, close to 30 pounds or 25 pounds.
01:49:12.000 He gets up to, like, 170 in the normal, in the 170 range.
01:49:16.000 So 155 is where he belongs, really.
01:49:18.000 You know, that's probably the healthy weight class for him.
01:49:21.000 And how do you feel about Aldo and him?
01:49:23.000 It's a wild fight.
01:49:24.000 It's a wild fight.
01:49:26.000 You know, I didn't...
01:49:27.000 Can you deal with the kicks?
01:49:27.000 I tell you what, man.
01:49:30.000 Aldo has been around for so long.
01:49:33.000 We're jumping.
01:49:33.000 This is jumping in.
01:49:34.000 We're jumping from guns to religion to pre-biblical to...
01:49:39.000 We're just talking, man.
01:49:40.000 That's how it goes.
01:49:41.000 We're jumping.
01:49:41.000 This isn't like a radio show or anything.
01:49:42.000 Like a kangaroo fucking Australian cunt. 1.00
01:49:45.000 Yeah, fucking... 1.00
01:49:46.000 The whole thing, man. 1.00
01:49:47.000 Budweiser.
01:49:48.000 Budweiser.
01:49:48.000 We're in there.
01:49:48.000 Weed.
01:49:49.000 Um, I think if you- Callan says he's locked out. 1.00
01:49:52.000 Did you lock the fucking door? 0.99
01:49:54.000 Callan's out there? 1.00
01:49:54.000 Yeah, I'm gonna get him. 1.00
01:49:55.000 Is he out there right now?
01:49:56.000 Yeah, you got him.
01:49:57.000 Is he really?
01:49:57.000 Jamie will go get him.
01:49:58.000 He said I'm locked out.
01:49:59.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:49:59.000 Tell him we're coming.
01:50:00.000 Yeah, don't worry.
01:50:02.000 I love this dude. 0.99
01:50:03.000 I'll give him a key, shit. 0.99
01:50:04.000 He's done, uh, he's done podcasts here without me. 0.99
01:50:06.000 He's one of the few guys, him and Brendan Schaub, they had a Fight Companion podcast.
01:50:11.000 But, um, What were we just saying? 0.97
01:50:14.000 What the fuck were we just talking about? 0.99
01:50:15.000 We were talking about Leprechaun. 0.99
01:50:16.000 Oh, no, the Aldo fight.
01:50:17.000 Oh, look who it is, ladies and gentlemen!
01:50:19.000 My man!
01:50:21.000 Brian Callan has just unexpectedly showed up.
01:50:24.000 We have a big show tonight at the ISO. Yes, we do.
01:50:27.000 What time do I have to be out of here?
01:50:29.000 We're good, man.
01:50:30.000 We'll leave here like, you know, half an hour or so.
01:50:33.000 Fantastic.
01:50:33.000 It's just you and me.
01:50:34.000 It's like the show can't start without us.
01:50:36.000 That's true.
01:50:36.000 Look at this.
01:50:37.000 Look at how tan Donald is.
01:50:39.000 We're doing the Ventura, what is it, the Hong Kong?
01:50:41.000 We're going to be at the Hong Kong Inn.
01:50:42.000 We've got two shows, 8 o'clock and 10 o'clock.
01:50:44.000 I think we're headlining the festival or something.
01:50:46.000 There's a festival in the Hong Kong Chinese Restaurant Festival?
01:50:49.000 The Ventura Comedy Festival.
01:50:50.000 Who booked?
01:50:51.000 You didn't even know.
01:50:51.000 You booked.
01:50:52.000 I let him book things.
01:50:53.000 Why not?
01:50:54.000 He likes money.
01:50:55.000 I know.
01:50:55.000 They pay us money.
01:50:56.000 I love money.
01:50:57.000 What's going on, buddy?
01:50:58.000 We were just talking about Aldo vs.
01:51:00.000 McGregor.
01:51:01.000 We were talking about...
01:51:02.000 He asked me what I thought about that fight.
01:51:04.000 Yeah.
01:51:06.000 I'm curious.
01:51:06.000 I'm curious about the sexy cow and the hammer.
01:51:09.000 Sexy cow and the hammer? 1.00
01:51:10.000 What do you mean?
01:51:11.000 What do you mean, the sexy cow and the hammer?
01:51:13.000 Where's the sexy cow and the hammer? 1.00
01:51:14.000 Nothing.
01:51:15.000 He's drunk.
01:51:16.000 A little bit.
01:51:17.000 It's code.
01:51:18.000 It's just a little booze.
01:51:19.000 I want to know...
01:51:20.000 What do you think?
01:51:21.000 I think McGregor's in his head.
01:51:24.000 He might be, but he might not be. 1.00
01:51:25.000 Aldo might be able to fight like a fucking assassin, even under all the shit-talking. 0.99
01:51:29.000 No one's ever shit-talked him before, so we don't know. 0.99
01:51:31.000 We don't know how he's going to fight. 0.96
01:51:33.000 But we know the guy hasn't lost in 10 years.
01:51:35.000 We know the guy's been beating some of the best guys in the world.
01:51:37.000 And if you look at him when he's on point, you look at his fight with Uriah, for instance. 0.99
01:51:42.000 Some fucking terrifying leg kicks. 1.00
01:51:44.000 Fast as shit. 1.00
01:51:45.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:51:46.000 Fast as shit and his jiu-jitsu, world class. 0.99
01:51:49.000 His jiu-jitsu is very high level. 0.99
01:51:51.000 You know, he beat Cobrina in regular jiu-jitsu, a regular jiu-jitsu competition.
01:51:57.000 He's a beast.
01:51:58.000 He's a very good fighter in all aspects.
01:52:00.000 I mean, one of the best ever.
01:52:02.000 I feel like he's in his head.
01:52:03.000 I know that trash talk wouldn't work on Don Cerrone. 0.96
01:52:06.000 Am I kidding?
01:52:06.000 But we were talking about that earlier.
01:52:08.000 You're coming in too late for this conversation.
01:52:09.000 You're already talking about this stuff.
01:52:10.000 We already went over it.
01:52:11.000 You're talking about the Nate Diaz fight.
01:52:13.000 We're jumping.
01:52:13.000 We're jumpers here.
01:52:14.000 We jump.
01:52:15.000 Time travel.
01:52:16.000 Time travel.
01:52:17.000 I like it.
01:52:18.000 We come and go.
01:52:19.000 It's a great fight.
01:52:21.000 Also, I got to...
01:52:23.000 Be honest like I look at Aldo and even though Aldo has been Dominant for so long as one of the best fighters He's had a lot of tough fights and those eventually will catch up to you It's like the Chad Mendez fight the last fight was a really good fight. 0.98
01:52:37.000 It was like a back-and-forth fight and Mendez Mendes hit him with some fucking bombs. 0.74
01:52:41.000 It was a great back-and-forth fight, and he tagged Mendes with a big shot at the end of the first round. 0.99
01:52:47.000 I think the buzzer rang, and then he hit him.
01:52:49.000 It was a little late. 0.92
01:52:50.000 It wasn't egregious, but it was a little late, and it fucked Mendes up, and Mendes still came back and cracked him. 0.91
01:52:55.000 It was a back-and-forth war. 0.87
01:52:57.000 It was a very close fight.
01:52:58.000 Has Aldo fought anyone who hits as hard as McGregor?
01:53:03.000 Well, Chad Mendez hits pretty fucking hard, but I think Connor may have some special power, not like a magic power, but I think he's one of those guys that just really has super heavy hands. 0.81
01:53:16.000 He's also accurate as hell, right? 0.97
01:53:18.000 He's just very smart, man.
01:53:19.000 The way he fights is very, very intelligent.
01:53:22.000 You know, I was joking around with Donald about his training methods that he calls it, him and John Cavanaugh's co-host, they described it as upgrading your software without damaging your hardware.
01:53:32.000 So they're doing all these really technical drills on hitting specific points, but they're not crushing each other.
01:53:37.000 They're just drilling it into the mind and getting...
01:53:39.000 And Donald has more of a wild style.
01:53:43.000 Who's out there?
01:53:46.000 I feel like Donald's changed.
01:53:47.000 I feel like you stand in people's grill more now. 1.00
01:53:49.000 You just stand right there like you could give a shit. 1.00
01:53:51.000 You know how fucking cool this is? 1.00
01:53:52.000 Two of my favorite comedians in one fucking room. 0.99
01:53:54.000 I'm like, do you know how people kill for this situation right now? 0.99
01:53:56.000 Donald Cerrone was in the crowd when I taped my Comedy Central special in Denver.
01:54:00.000 Well, the first time I met Donald, he came.
01:54:02.000 I met him the night before, then he came, and I just saw his hat going back and forth as he was laughing.
01:54:06.000 I just saw your hat.
01:54:08.000 It was the greatest.
01:54:09.000 I had a nine pack after I left the show.
01:54:11.000 Joe, you know what I'm gonna do for you?
01:54:13.000 What are you going to do? 1.00
01:54:13.000 You have fucking VCT in your fucking bathroom in there. 1.00
01:54:16.000 VCT? What is that? 1.00
01:54:17.000 The shitty cheap tile you got in there. 0.99
01:54:19.000 The tile? 0.99
01:54:20.000 Yeah.
01:54:20.000 On the floor?
01:54:21.000 On the floor. 0.99
01:54:21.000 And the shitty paintbrush job in there. 0.99
01:54:23.000 But this isn't mine. 0.97
01:54:23.000 This is like a lease. 0.97
01:54:24.000 I'm going to come in here and fucking hook... 1.00
01:54:26.000 I'm not going to pull a permit and I'm going to fucking... 1.00
01:54:28.000 Don't. 0.99
01:54:29.000 Don't do it.
01:54:29.000 Are you just going to lay tile?
01:54:30.000 I'm moving out of your hands.
01:54:31.000 I'm going to lay tile.
01:54:32.000 I might bite the tile to cut it.
01:54:34.000 That's great.
01:54:35.000 I'm getting a new spot.
01:54:36.000 New spot.
01:54:37.000 It's a great spot.
01:54:37.000 Yeah.
01:54:38.000 I'm never satisfied.
01:54:39.000 I have real problems.
01:54:40.000 I'm never happy with anything.
01:54:42.000 I'm the same way.
01:54:44.000 I don't know what it is.
01:54:45.000 You're worse than me. 0.96
01:54:46.000 I'm the worst. 0.92
01:54:48.000 Always moving.
01:54:49.000 Almost happy with everything.
01:54:51.000 Unhappy with everything I do.
01:54:53.000 Yeah, I'm always that way.
01:54:53.000 Is that a mummy dancing with a wolf?
01:54:56.000 No, that's a werewolf fucking a gorilla in the ass. 1.00
01:54:58.000 That's exactly what that is. 1.00
01:54:59.000 Oh, I got it.
01:55:00.000 I had a dream.
01:55:01.000 I wish I knew the dude who made that.
01:55:03.000 I hope you howl at the moon every time you're in that position.
01:55:07.000 What?
01:55:08.000 That would be a big woman. 1.00
01:55:10.000 If you could grab the back of her shoulders like that, either have a whopper of a dick, or that's a really big woman. 1.00
01:55:16.000 I had an affair with a girl who was on the Canadian National Water Polo Team. 1.00
01:55:22.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:55:23.000 She had a back on her, and she had a neck, but she had a really nice body, and she was really pretty. 1.00
01:55:30.000 And her hands... 0.92
01:55:32.000 Go ahead, man.
01:55:33.000 You're so strong.
01:55:33.000 You're not even drinking.
01:55:34.000 Damn. 1.00
01:55:35.000 Her hands, what threw me off was just the knuckles. 1.00
01:55:37.000 How big they were?
01:55:38.000 The thickness of her fingers as we would hold hands.
01:55:40.000 I was like, boy, I feel like a dainty young lady right now.
01:55:43.000 Do you know who Gabby Garcia is? 1.00
01:55:45.000 So what you're saying is your dick looked shamelessly tiny in her hands. 1.00
01:55:50.000 No, no, he's a monster hog. 1.00
01:55:51.000 No, what I'm saying is her dick was way bigger than mine. 1.00
01:55:53.000 Kids got a hog on him. 1.00
01:55:54.000 I got a hog on me.
01:55:55.000 There was a there's a woman named Gabby Garcia still is but she used to be overweight and she's like world jiu-jitsu champion and she used to have this giant crazy face well she lost all her body fat and then I guess she might have had some facial surgery but all of a sudden she's a giant hot chick It's real weird. 1.00
01:56:13.000 She's got a full six-pack. 0.63
01:56:14.000 Pull up Gabby Garcia before and after.
01:56:17.000 I've seen her before. 0.98
01:56:18.000 Listen, I don't know what she did, but whatever she did, that took a lot of fucking work. 0.98
01:56:22.000 She went from being a big, giant, fat woman who's a beast at jiu-jitsu, but she was very overweight, to being super slim. 1.00
01:56:33.000 She always has these exposed midriff shirts, and she's rocking this fucking ridiculous six-pack. 1.00
01:56:38.000 She's just 6'4". 1.00
01:56:40.000 6'4"? 1.00
01:56:41.000 Fuck yeah, Johnny Cash. 1.00
01:56:42.000 My dog's named Johnny Cash. 1.00
01:56:43.000 I love it.
01:56:44.000 Six foot four.
01:56:45.000 Jump in.
01:56:45.000 We're jumping again.
01:56:45.000 Where do you spend most of your time?
01:56:47.000 Colorado?
01:56:47.000 Yeah.
01:56:48.000 New Mexico.
01:56:49.000 But I'm going to see Grandma tomorrow.
01:56:51.000 She's listening live right now.
01:56:52.000 Tell her hello.
01:56:53.000 Hey, Grandma.
01:56:54.000 How are you?
01:56:55.000 You never know how to say to grandmas.
01:56:57.000 You know what I mean?
01:56:58.000 Hey, grandma.
01:56:58.000 How are you?
01:57:00.000 So, grandma comes backstage.
01:57:03.000 See, this is what she looks like now.
01:57:04.000 That's what she used to look like. 0.99
01:57:06.000 That's impressive.
01:57:07.000 It's a different person.
01:57:08.000 Yeah, it totally looks like a different person.
01:57:10.000 She looks pretty.
01:57:11.000 Nick and the other one.
01:57:12.000 I don't know if she had facial surgery, but it seems like she did.
01:57:15.000 She is just a true specimen.
01:57:18.000 Look at that.
01:57:19.000 Yeah.
01:57:19.000 That's crazy.
01:57:20.000 It's weird.
01:57:21.000 So you would.
01:57:21.000 She's giant, too.
01:57:22.000 I mean, she's like six foot four. 1.00
01:57:24.000 There's a picture of her with Fedor, and it's like, holy fuck. 1.00
01:57:28.000 She's so much bigger than him. 1.00
01:57:29.000 Look at her now.
01:57:30.000 See if you find a picture of Gabby Garcia and Fedor.
01:57:33.000 Wow.
01:57:34.000 It's like a real recent picture.
01:57:35.000 She's dwarfing Vandalais over there.
01:57:36.000 Mm-hmm.
01:57:38.000 Yeah, that was when they were on the Ultimate Fighter Brazil.
01:57:40.000 But here's the thing, man.
01:57:41.000 Vandale looks like she won him in a carnival.
01:57:42.000 That was only a couple years ago, dude.
01:57:44.000 It wasn't that long ago.
01:57:46.000 Yeah.
01:57:47.000 It just was really simple.
01:57:49.000 Really similar.
01:57:50.000 Recent.
01:57:51.000 How many beers have you had?
01:57:52.000 I've had a few.
01:57:53.000 Far right.
01:57:54.000 Far right.
01:57:55.000 Shredded. 0.96
01:57:56.000 Shredded. 0.96
01:57:57.000 Bam.
01:57:57.000 Look at that.
01:57:57.000 That's her.
01:57:58.000 Look at that body, man.
01:57:59.000 Look at Donald.
01:58:02.000 Yeah, that's a big girl.
01:58:03.000 Is that her boyfriend?
01:58:04.000 Oh, that's Fedor.
01:58:04.000 That's Fedor, dude.
01:58:05.000 Dude, that sure is Fedor.
01:58:06.000 How dare you, is that her boyfriend?
01:58:07.000 I hear he's looking good.
01:58:08.000 Well, he's back.
01:58:09.000 He's making a comeback.
01:58:10.000 He's gonna fight in Japan. 0.99
01:58:12.000 The problem is, there's no fucking opponents for him. 0.99
01:58:15.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:58:15.000 I mean, there's... 0.99
01:58:16.000 I don't know who the hell else is like... 0.83
01:58:18.000 I'll fight him. 0.99
01:58:18.000 I'll fight him. 0.99
01:58:20.000 I'll fight him.
01:58:21.000 How much time would you need to fight Fedor?
01:58:23.000 How much time would you need to fight Fedor?
01:58:29.000 He's amazing.
01:58:30.000 For real?
01:58:30.000 I have 100%.
01:58:31.000 If he walked in right now, threw the fucking ape getting fucked by a werewolf on the ground, I'll get him and fuck Fedor up. 1.00
01:58:38.000 Not a doubt in my mind. 1.00
01:58:39.000 Wow.
01:58:39.000 You just fight him.
01:58:41.000 Yeah.
01:58:41.000 I'm scared of Russians.
01:58:42.000 I'll say it right now.
01:58:43.000 So am I. I'm scared.
01:58:43.000 Why?
01:58:44.000 Because of ISIS? For everything. 0.72
01:58:45.000 Did you see this new thing with Putin?
01:58:47.000 Putin took $15 billion from this guy, stole this guy's company, and then the guy's exiled in the south of France, and now he's suing the Russian government.
01:58:57.000 Back to suing.
01:58:58.000 We're back to suing.
01:58:59.000 Good luck with that.
01:59:00.000 This guy, they took $15 billion.
01:59:02.000 He was like Putin's banker.
01:59:04.000 Wow.
01:59:05.000 He was like Putin's right-hand man for years, and now this guy is like penniless.
01:59:09.000 $15 billion.
01:59:10.000 Yeah, he's penniless.
01:59:11.000 Well, I can always say a billion seconds is 33 years.
01:59:14.000 The guy says that Putin is the most wealthy man in the world.
01:59:17.000 He said he has more control over more money than anyone on the planet.
01:59:21.000 He might not be on paper, but they're saying that he might be worth like $200 billion.
01:59:25.000 Well, yeah, because Russia is a one-crop economy. 0.79
01:59:28.000 It's all oil.
01:59:29.000 Guess who controls it?
01:59:30.000 You don't do anything without that.
01:59:31.000 How does he do that, though?
01:59:33.000 Russian politics has always been that way.
01:59:35.000 It's always been run by a czar. 0.98
01:59:36.000 It's always been run really by a group of, you know, he used to be the Politburo, but for the most part, he's just doing what the old Russian model was, which was get the biggest guns on my side and I'll kill him. 0.97
01:59:46.000 But it's 2015. I mean, isn't it crazy when you see a guy who's running like essentially a complete undercover gangster organization?
01:59:55.000 It's a monarchy.
01:59:55.000 Yeah, dominating the entire country.
01:59:57.000 He apparently, when they were trying to attract investment in the 90s, the problem was American companies, German companies, French companies coming in, and these gangsters, these Russian guys would come in and go, hey, you gotta pay us money. 0.99
02:00:12.000 And a couple of them said no, and they just shot him right there in the office.
02:00:15.000 So Putin decided this was going to be a disaster for any kind of foreign investment.
02:00:19.000 So Putin said, all right, well, I know how to deal with this.
02:00:22.000 We know exactly where they are.
02:00:23.000 And when they were having the mafia guys hang out together in their own clubhouses or whatever, he had these Spetsnaz guys show up in their vans. 0.89
02:00:31.000 They just show up in the middle of the day, open up, grrrr, And just killed a shitload of them, like 100, 200 in one day.
02:00:37.000 They had a moment of silence, apparently, before he had his, uh, before he had his, his, uh, whatever it was, you know, his meeting.
02:00:43.000 They had a moment of silence for the 200 citizens that were killed, and they went on their business. 0.98
02:00:48.000 And that was the message to anybody who said, you want to shake down foreign companies, see what the fuck happens. 0.98
02:00:52.000 They still didn't invest, though. 1.00
02:00:54.000 But he's, he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't fuck around. 1.00
02:00:57.000 He's a scary dude. 1.00
02:00:57.000 Donald Cerrone will fight him tomorrow. 1.00
02:00:58.000 Tomorrow.
02:00:59.000 Yeah, he would.
02:01:00.000 Tonight.
02:01:01.000 He's a black belt in judo.
02:01:03.000 Whatever.
02:01:04.000 Stop. 1.00
02:01:05.000 You're a black belt in a hood. 0.98
02:01:07.000 Everyone's from a street. 0.98
02:01:08.000 I hate that expression.
02:01:10.000 Who's not from the street?
02:01:11.000 I was born in the meadow.
02:01:13.000 I grew up in the river.
02:01:14.000 I'm not from the street.
02:01:15.000 I was born with a giant silver spoon in my mouth.
02:01:17.000 There's no roads where I live, bro.
02:01:19.000 I'm in the forest.
02:01:21.000 Who do you want to punch in the face more than anybody on the planet? 0.75
02:01:23.000 Are you interviewing him? 0.98
02:01:25.000 I'm taking over right now.
02:01:27.000 The guy from Whole Foods. 1.00
02:01:28.000 Shitty fucking question. 1.00
02:01:30.000 Hey, with your shitty questions. 1.00
02:01:32.000 The guy from Whole Foods. 1.00
02:01:33.000 It was a previous story.
02:01:35.000 The guy punched him.
02:01:36.000 Whole Foods parking lot. 1.00
02:01:37.000 You're fucking late. 1.00
02:01:39.000 You're fucking late. 1.00
02:01:40.000 You're telling that story. 0.99
02:01:41.000 What made you decide to come over here?
02:01:42.000 He was texting me.
02:01:44.000 Oh, why didn't you tell me that you were texting him?
02:01:45.000 Because I thought it would be more appealing to have three Well, why don't you just tell me?
02:01:50.000 Two of my favorite people in the world.
02:01:51.000 He's one of my favorite people, too.
02:01:54.000 He's making secret texts while we're in the middle of a podcast.
02:01:56.000 Like a couple of lovers.
02:01:57.000 He's calling.
02:01:57.000 Come on over.
02:01:59.000 Come crash this party. 0.99
02:02:00.000 We're getting fucked up. 0.99
02:02:01.000 He said the door's locked. 0.99
02:02:02.000 I'll send you one right in.
02:02:03.000 I'm locked out.
02:02:04.000 You want a key?
02:02:05.000 You can have a key at this place.
02:02:06.000 Yeah.
02:02:07.000 Okay.
02:02:07.000 Just to hang out.
02:02:08.000 Sure.
02:02:09.000 Play a pool.
02:02:10.000 Play a werewolf.
02:02:11.000 Do people know about the badass werewolf you have outside?
02:02:14.000 Yeah, there's pictures of it.
02:02:16.000 It used to be, before I got the pool table, it used to be the werewolf was the first thing you saw when you opened the door.
02:02:20.000 And I was like, I need to put a go cam on the top of the werewolf.
02:02:22.000 That was the first thing I saw when I came in.
02:02:24.000 I was like, werewolf, cool.
02:02:27.000 Oh, pool table.
02:02:28.000 That thing is scary.
02:02:29.000 Do you play pool?
02:02:30.000 You must play pool.
02:02:31.000 I do have a pool table at the ranch.
02:02:33.000 I have a bar that I built.
02:02:35.000 I have every alcohol you could ever believe of.
02:02:39.000 Because I don't want ever someone to come over.
02:02:41.000 Yeah, kegs, boxes, cases.
02:02:43.000 I don't want you to come over and say, come and pour me this, and I don't have it. 0.99
02:02:47.000 Damn. 0.99
02:02:47.000 That's gangster. 0.99
02:02:48.000 See, this gets to you psychologically, because I know your background, like how you grew up, and you're creating this environment at that ranch that's not just a training environment, but a place where you're trying to give these guys hospitality and bring them into a family situation,
02:03:06.000 aren't you?
02:03:06.000 It's a lot like Neverland Ranch.
02:03:10.000 Neverland?
02:03:11.000 Neverland? 0.99
02:03:12.000 But not as much motherfucking. 0.99
02:03:13.000 We're a bunch of boys coming to hang out. 0.98
02:03:15.000 Not as much boo-fling.
02:03:17.000 Not as much.
02:03:18.000 Jared is what they're calling it today.
02:03:20.000 Not as much boy play.
02:03:21.000 Yeah, how about Jared?
02:03:22.000 Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?
02:03:24.000 It's like because your grandparents raised you and you're a wild kid and you didn't feel like you've had that thing when you were talking earlier about trainers that wouldn't put their name on you.
02:03:36.000 Now you're doing the total opposite of that.
02:03:39.000 The total opposite, absolutely.
02:03:41.000 I appreciate that, man.
02:03:43.000 Absolutely, the total opposite.
02:03:45.000 And yeah, if guys call me that I can afford it, I say, don't worry about it.
02:03:48.000 I got you.
02:03:49.000 Let's go ahead.
02:03:49.000 So what do you do then?
02:03:50.000 What's the ranch?
02:03:52.000 You're coming in late, bro! 1.00
02:03:53.000 Damn it! 1.00
02:03:54.000 Jesus, bad motherfucker ranch. 1.00
02:03:56.000 He built it. 1.00
02:03:56.000 Grandpa bought some property. 1.00
02:03:58.000 Happiest moment of his life.
02:03:59.000 Tears almost came to his eye during the podcast.
02:04:01.000 Builds a place.
02:04:02.000 Doesn't get permits. 0.99
02:04:03.000 Fucks up because he has the bunk bed set up. 1.00
02:04:06.000 Oh shit, now what do we do? 1.00
02:04:07.000 Now people are sleeping in a barn. 1.00
02:04:09.000 Keep propane.
02:04:10.000 If you keep the propane on, it costs $1,500 a night.
02:04:13.000 This is a lot of work.
02:04:14.000 He doesn't have any power out there, man.
02:04:16.000 He's got tanks of flammable liquid, and he's shooting guns everywhere. 0.99
02:04:20.000 The whole thing is ridiculous. 0.90
02:04:22.000 He shows me all these guns he's got. 0.98
02:04:24.000 Do you know if you shoot a propane tank with a gun, it will not blow up?
02:04:27.000 Is that true?
02:04:27.000 Absolutely true.
02:04:28.000 In the movies, it does.
02:04:29.000 It does in the movies.
02:04:30.000 It will not blow up, though.
02:04:31.000 I had a Navy SEAL tell me when you throw a grenade, there's no fire.
02:04:35.000 You just hear pop, and there's no smoke, which I was amazed at.
02:04:40.000 Well, that's annoying.
02:04:41.000 What about the Chuck Norris movies where there's always an explosion?
02:04:44.000 Is Chuck Norris still the coolest dude alive or no?
02:04:46.000 I met him and I was more happy than I've been when I met anybody ever.
02:04:50.000 The first time I met him, I was upset.
02:04:52.000 I met Chris Hansen and I was pretty happy.
02:04:54.000 Chris Hansen?
02:04:55.000 You met him in the right spot.
02:04:58.000 He's like, I'm so nice to meet you here in public in a bar. 1.00
02:05:04.000 Instead of in a fucking hotel room with a 14 year old. 1.00
02:05:06.000 Back to Chuck Norris. 1.00
02:05:08.000 I met him in the World Combat League.
02:05:10.000 Remember he used to have that kickboxing organization?
02:05:11.000 They fought in a bowl.
02:05:13.000 I met him there and just the fact that Chuck Norris knew who I was and gave me a big hug. 0.99
02:05:19.000 I was like, God damn it. 0.98
02:05:20.000 He didn't put his boot up to your face and be like, read the bottom of my boot. 0.99
02:05:22.000 What's he saying?
02:05:22.000 He had the shoelace crotch thing.
02:05:25.000 Remember those?
02:05:26.000 Kickboxing pants with the shoelaces? 0.98
02:05:27.000 Texas Ranger motherfucking what? 0.97
02:05:29.000 Well, I remember Superfoot Wallace used to have jeans that he advertised in the back of comic books. 0.98
02:05:33.000 Yeah, well Chuck Norris did too.
02:05:34.000 It was Chuck Norris, I think, more than Superfoot. 0.98
02:05:36.000 Chuck Norris has posters of badass shit that you have to... 0.99
02:05:42.000 Think about if your life is that cool. 0.99
02:05:44.000 That's Chuck Norris.
02:05:45.000 He's a super nice guy too, man.
02:05:48.000 There was a thing, a banquet for a karate guy who was a famous karate instructor and he was one of Chuck Norris' friends.
02:05:56.000 So I sat in on it.
02:05:58.000 They wanted me to sit and give a speech.
02:06:01.000 Everybody gave speeches.
02:06:02.000 All these old school black belt guys gave speeches and Chuck Norris gave a speech. 1.00
02:06:05.000 I just sat next to Chuck Norris and talked for an hour and a half.
02:06:08.000 We just talked about the old days of the karate tournaments and the old days of kickboxing and, you know, what it was like to hang out with Bruce Lee.
02:06:16.000 It was one of the best moments of my life.
02:06:19.000 You didn't hit him with any Chuck Norris lines?
02:06:21.000 Like, Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the earth away from him?
02:06:24.000 How many questions does Chuck Norris do?
02:06:26.000 I couldn't annoy him with any of that.
02:06:27.000 All of them, you know what?
02:06:28.000 Why not?
02:06:29.000 That would have been like an opening line.
02:06:30.000 I just knew, first of all, how many times do you ever get a chance to sit and actually right next to Chuck Norris in a public setting.
02:06:37.000 That's how I feel at this moment right here.
02:06:38.000 That's how I feel at this moment right now.
02:06:40.000 We feel the same way.
02:06:41.000 So I'm sitting next to him, and it's just me and him talking. 0.98
02:06:44.000 You know, just me and Chuck Norris right next to each other for like a fucking hour. 0.98
02:06:47.000 I was like a little kid. 0.99
02:06:49.000 I saw Missing in Action in the fucking movie theater. 1.00
02:06:52.000 Lone Wolf McQuaid. 1.00
02:06:53.000 I was there for all those movies, dude.
02:06:55.000 I panicked.
02:06:56.000 I've panicked two times with celebrities that were really big.
02:06:59.000 I met Al Pacino, and I was talking to him, and I was like, just be cool, be cool, Brian, be cool, be cool. 1.00
02:07:04.000 Don't be an idiot. 1.00
02:07:05.000 Don't be spazzed. 1.00
02:07:05.000 I'll spazz out sometimes. 1.00
02:07:07.000 Were you looking at yourself from a third person?
02:07:08.000 Kind of.
02:07:09.000 I was more staring at him.
02:07:14.000 He had a bandana on and he looked so cool.
02:07:17.000 He was 70. He looks amazing.
02:07:19.000 He's ageless.
02:07:19.000 How are you, Brian?
02:07:21.000 Where are you from, New York? 1.00
02:07:23.000 That's a good fucking album. 0.99
02:07:25.000 I've never done it before. 0.99
02:07:26.000 That's very good. 0.98
02:07:28.000 I went like this and I kill myself. 0.87
02:07:32.000 I heard the words coming out of my mouth and I was like, Brian, stop, stop.
02:07:35.000 You're saying anything.
02:07:36.000 I go...
02:07:37.000 You know what's funny?
02:07:38.000 I go, don't say it, Brian, don't say it.
02:07:40.000 And I said to him, I go, I just watched Scarface.
02:07:44.000 It was on TV. And he goes, and I go, I was like, no!
02:07:48.000 Inside, I was like, no!
02:07:50.000 But my face was saying it.
02:07:52.000 And then I go, I looked at him and he went like this.
02:07:54.000 He goes, oh boy.
02:07:57.000 And that's all he did.
02:07:59.000 And he hugged me.
02:08:01.000 He shook my hand and he put his shoulder against my chest.
02:08:04.000 I was like, oh, that's the coolest way to ever do anything.
02:08:06.000 I was like, see you later.
02:08:07.000 Then I meet Springsteen backstage.
02:08:10.000 I talk to him for a while.
02:08:12.000 I talk to his wife.
02:08:14.000 I'm a huge Bruce Springsteen fan.
02:08:16.000 Six months later with my dad in a bookstore in Idaho, in Sun Valley, Idaho.
02:08:23.000 And I hear his wife say, hi, how are you?
02:08:27.000 And I go, oh, Patty.
02:08:29.000 Hi.
02:08:31.000 She goes, what are you doing?
02:08:32.000 And I go, how's Bruce?
02:08:33.000 Thinking I'd known him because I talked to him for like an hour.
02:08:36.000 She goes, ask him yourself.
02:08:37.000 He's right here.
02:08:38.000 And I turn and he's looking at a book I've since read called Fiasco.
02:08:40.000 I remember he had his glasses on.
02:08:41.000 And I go, how you doing?
02:08:43.000 And he goes, I met you.
02:08:44.000 We talked backstage. 0.99
02:08:46.000 And all of a sudden I realized I folded my arms, but for whatever reason, my fucking arms... 0.99
02:08:53.000 We're really high, and my elbows were pointed right at him. 0.98
02:08:56.000 And in my mind, I was like, Brian, please let go of your arms.
02:08:58.000 Don't do this.
02:08:58.000 What are you doing?
02:08:59.000 And I go, and this is what I did.
02:09:00.000 I go, did you ski?
02:09:02.000 And he goes, usually we do, but this year we just let the kids do it, and we're just sitting.
02:09:07.000 And I went, And I meant to say, I fucking meant to say, I've been skiing all day, my feet are killing me, and I'm not going to ski anymore. 0.50
02:09:16.000 That's what I meant to say. 0.97
02:09:17.000 I've been skiing all day, my boots are shitty, I don't want to ski anymore. 0.98
02:09:21.000 And instead I went, with my fucking arms like this, I go, my feet are killing me. 0.99
02:09:27.000 And he just looked at me and there was a pause, I go... 0.99
02:09:30.000 I'll see you guys later, man!
02:09:32.000 And I've never lived that down. 0.99
02:09:34.000 But I'm sure they deal with that shit all the time. 0.99
02:09:36.000 Just holding myself like that. 1.00
02:09:39.000 Did you just have that same moment right now?
02:09:41.000 Like, during this podcast?
02:09:42.000 I feel embarrassed right now.
02:09:43.000 In the middle of what you're doing? 0.99
02:09:44.000 Hey, do you guys get people when you take pictures that are trembling out of fucking control? 0.95
02:09:49.000 Yeah, sometimes that happens. 0.95
02:09:50.000 I've had a lot of nervous moments in my life.
02:09:54.000 I appreciate nerves.
02:09:55.000 Me too.
02:09:56.000 You know, it's no big deal.
02:09:57.000 You know, you can't help nerves. 0.99
02:09:58.000 The guy with the camera, and he's like, Get the fucking camera working! 1.00
02:10:04.000 I fuck with people. 1.00
02:10:05.000 I fuck with people. 1.00
02:10:05.000 Come on, bitch. 1.00
02:10:06.000 What are you doing? 1.00
02:10:06.000 What the fuck is with that? 1.00
02:10:07.000 The fucking cat! 1.00
02:10:08.000 Get an iPhone, son! 1.00
02:10:11.000 I fuck with them, but I don't... 1.00
02:10:12.000 You deal with that. 1.00
02:10:13.000 So the greatest domestic disputes that you will ever witness in your life is on a boat ramp.
02:10:19.000 I don't know if you guys have ever been on a boat ramp.
02:10:21.000 No. 0.96
02:10:21.000 But the wife is driving the boat and the husband in the pickup and he's trying to fucking guide her on. 0.96
02:10:26.000 Left, left, no, no, back it up. 0.97
02:10:28.000 Or she's trying to snake the trailer down and he's sitting in the boat screaming at her snake in the trailer down while 30 other boats are trying to dock.
02:10:36.000 It's... 1.00
02:10:37.000 Damn. 1.00
02:10:37.000 Damn. 1.00
02:10:37.000 Oh, that seems like a nightmare. 1.00
02:10:39.000 That's interesting, though.
02:10:39.000 Next time I'm there, I'm gonna periscope it.
02:10:42.000 Fuck, that's a nightmare. 1.00
02:10:42.000 Because it is... 1.00
02:10:43.000 You would...
02:10:43.000 I never thought of that.
02:10:44.000 Oh, it's unbelievable.
02:10:45.000 I just thought the boats were always in the water somehow.
02:10:47.000 You know who knows a lot about...
02:10:49.000 It's the 4.30.
02:10:51.000 They've been drinking all day.
02:10:52.000 Right. 0.99
02:10:52.000 Time to get the fuck out of the water. 0.99
02:10:54.000 Yes, yes. 0.98
02:10:54.000 After the message dispute happens, and it is... 0.98
02:10:56.000 It's classic. 0.99
02:10:58.000 They say they're, and when, and realtors, realtors see a lot of dark shit between couples as they're looking for houses and deciding what they want, where they can't afford a fucking house. 0.99
02:11:09.000 But she wants the house? 1.00
02:11:10.000 Oh yeah.
02:11:11.000 Why is it the she that always wants it? 1.00
02:11:13.000 Dude, I had a conversation with my buddy about this recently.
02:11:16.000 He was talking about how his girlfriend hates where they live. 1.00
02:11:19.000 There's the fucking stripper voice again. 1.00
02:11:21.000 She wants a fucking house. 1.00
02:11:21.000 Pep it up! 1.00
02:11:23.000 That's not a stripper voice. 1.00
02:11:24.000 You went from fucking interacting to... 1.00
02:11:26.000 I know a dude who's fucked, and I feel bad. 1.00
02:11:29.000 He's just bringing it down. 0.98
02:11:30.000 Poor dude is in some situation where the girl wants him to live over his means, you know, and it gets weird, you know, when she's like, we need a better house, we need to get a better house, and he can't really afford a better house, so he's scrambling.
02:11:45.000 That's a bad place to be.
02:11:46.000 A woman I know, a realtor, said they were looking at this house in New York City for $6 million.
02:11:54.000 It's probably about 1,300 square feet.
02:11:56.000 Something crazy, yeah.
02:11:56.000 No yard, no parking.
02:11:58.000 And she said her friend had $10 million.
02:12:01.000 Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
02:12:03.000 You can buy like nothing for, you know.
02:12:05.000 Meanwhile, he shoots guns in his yard. 1.00
02:12:06.000 Right off his fucking toilet. 1.00
02:12:08.000 Missed that, too. 1.00
02:12:08.000 We got a fucking new silencers. 1.00
02:12:10.000 Really? 1.00
02:12:10.000 Yep. 1.00
02:12:11.000 He's got a bench rest on his toilet.
02:12:12.000 He's just looking out the window in case of a stray antelope. 0.99
02:12:16.000 No, I don't shoot fucking big game. 0.99
02:12:17.000 He doesn't shoot big game, sir. 1.00
02:12:19.000 It's illegal.
02:12:20.000 I'm a bird man.
02:12:22.000 You're a bird man?
02:12:22.000 I'm a bird man.
02:12:23.000 Just any bird, they insult you with their freedom.
02:12:25.000 Just a poor...
02:12:25.000 Poor, overpopulated bird.
02:12:27.000 So she was showing them the house, and she said, I have another place.
02:12:33.000 It's just a little bit out of your price range.
02:12:36.000 And it was $8 million.
02:12:37.000 And this girl's friend had a $10 million house. 0.99
02:12:39.000 And she looked at her husband and went, how could you fucking do this to us? 0.99
02:12:42.000 As in, you don't have enough money. 0.99
02:12:45.000 And he went, instead of going, see you later, he went, sorry.
02:12:51.000 Sorry.
02:12:53.000 How about that, man?
02:12:54.000 That's how people live sometimes.
02:12:55.000 Well, that's people that, if they don't have any other interests other than materialistic things, then that's what you chase. 1.00
02:13:02.000 There's a real problem with that in this fucking city. 0.98
02:13:04.000 There's a real problem with people that are only chasing that, and they're not looking at the big picture of life. 0.99
02:13:09.000 They're defining themselves by how much money their house costs, what neighborhood they're in, what kind of car they're driving.
02:13:15.000 All that stuff is them, and there's no other stuff.
02:13:20.000 But society looks at that.
02:13:22.000 If you show up and your kids go to this school and you live in this area and you drive the Range Rover, that's your...
02:13:31.000 Status is very important to people.
02:13:33.000 It always has been.
02:13:37.000 I think that term's changing.
02:13:39.000 Pre-biblical status.
02:13:40.000 Well, because of the internet, there's a bunch of people that don't think like that, and now they can all agree.
02:13:48.000 Whereas before, what was put out in front of you was what was on commercials, what you saw the hero have in the movie.
02:13:55.000 Burt Reynolds has a Trans Am. 0.98
02:13:57.000 I fucking need a Trans Am. 0.98
02:13:58.000 Like, all that stuff was the only way we associated with ideas about items. 0.98
02:14:05.000 But now, like, because of the internet, you'll talk to people that go, you know what, man? 0.64
02:14:09.000 I live in a fucking trailer that I drive around in my truck and I just go to different places and I climb mountains. 0.95
02:14:15.000 That's like that Alex Honnold guy. 1.00
02:14:16.000 He lives in a fucking van. 0.99
02:14:18.000 That's cool too, and he'll find fans, people that admire him because of that. 1.00
02:14:24.000 I think that some people who chase money, it has a lot of meaning.
02:14:29.000 Some people were humiliated by being poor when they were kids.
02:14:31.000 Money makes them feel powerful, safe, whatever.
02:14:34.000 I was trying to isolate the two times I'm the most happy, the two things that matter to me the most.
02:14:40.000 I think it's laughing with my friends and getting better at something. 0.99
02:14:43.000 I thought it was coming with a finger on your ass. 1.00
02:14:45.000 And coming with a finger on my ass, obviously it's part of laughing with my friends. 1.00
02:14:48.000 Dude, you told me you cashed that fucking check. 1.00
02:14:51.000 And you see an extra comma on your bank account, you're not fucking just tickled pink. 0.99
02:14:55.000 I'm not really, but I'm weird that way, and he knows that. 1.00
02:14:58.000 He's so weird, he drives a fucking shitty car. 1.00
02:15:00.000 He drives this goofy fucking Volkswagen. 1.00
02:15:02.000 I'm like, dude, you have money. 1.00
02:15:03.000 You could have something that you drive that's a pleasure.
02:15:06.000 Like, you enjoy it, and it changes your transportation to a ride.
02:15:10.000 Like you're on a Disneyland ride every day. 1.00
02:15:12.000 I like getting better at something and being a silly goose with my friends and a finger in my ass. 1.00
02:15:16.000 And if what? 0.99
02:15:17.000 Okay, we've got to end this, man.
02:15:18.000 We've got to show an hour.
02:15:19.000 On that note... 0.99
02:15:20.000 And on that note, Donald, motherfucking Cowboy Cerrone, thank you, sir. 0.99
02:15:24.000 We're glad we did this. 0.99
02:15:24.000 We can do this any time you're in town, man. 0.99
02:15:26.000 Look at the trifecta I'm sitting here. 0.98
02:15:27.000 It's fucking unbelievable. 0.98
02:15:28.000 We could do this forever. 0.99
02:15:29.000 We could probably have about a hundred of these.
02:15:31.000 Easily.
02:15:32.000 Easily.
02:15:32.000 Well, we'll see how everyone reacts.
02:15:34.000 They fucking love it. 0.99
02:15:36.000 If we don't get at least a couple hundred YouTube comments, I'm fucking best. 0.99
02:15:41.000 You're going to get plenty of comments.
02:15:43.000 Most people are going to love it.
02:15:45.000 What does the Bible say?
02:15:46.000 You've got to separate the wheat from the chaff?
02:15:48.000 The wheat from the chaff.
02:15:49.000 Yes. 1.00
02:15:50.000 If you don't have a fucking sword, go and get one. 1.00
02:15:52.000 Sell your cloak and get a better one. 1.00
02:15:53.000 Is that what the Bible says?
02:15:54.000 Yeah. 0.98
02:15:55.000 Goddammit, they're selling swords in the Bible? 0.98
02:15:57.000 Yeah.
02:15:57.000 Sell your cloak and get one.
02:15:58.000 I don't remember that passage.
02:15:59.000 Sell your cloak and get a sword.
02:16:01.000 It's there.
02:16:02.000 You know how pious Donald is.
02:16:04.000 Always making the cross before he fights.
02:16:05.000 I don't know if I'll ever own a cloak.
02:16:06.000 I might go to the grave with no cloaks.
02:16:08.000 I want a cloak, man.
02:16:09.000 I'm thinking right now, I need some Dracula cloak.
02:16:12.000 I want to own a lot of land and walk around in my cloak.
02:16:14.000 Yeah.
02:16:15.000 And I want to just order my servants around. 0.83
02:16:17.000 Bring me a coconut, two straws, and some shaved ice, please.
02:16:20.000 And I want pack llamas. 0.91
02:16:21.000 Oh, yes.
02:16:22.000 So when I shoot animals in the woods, I can bring the pack llamas and they'll pack it out.
02:16:27.000 That's good.
02:16:28.000 I want hamsters to feel in my hands, please.
02:16:31.000 I want a few guinea pigs around the house just in case I need to eat them like the people do in Peru. 1.00
02:16:35.000 Guinea pigs?
02:16:36.000 Just kidding.
02:16:36.000 They keep them in the kitchen.
02:16:37.000 They're all scrambled around the kitchen.
02:16:39.000 Really?
02:16:39.000 I just want them for petting.
02:16:40.000 I want them for petting and pressing against my genitals. 0.99
02:16:42.000 They apparently don't miss each other. 0.99
02:16:44.000 They never like, where's Waldo? 0.98
02:16:45.000 They don't give a fuck about Waldo. 0.95
02:16:47.000 Are the peanuts out? 0.98
02:16:48.000 Yes, they're good.
02:16:48.000 They say cats are like that.
02:16:50.000 Cats could give a fuck about their owners. 0.99
02:16:51.000 Well, when their owners die, cats eat their faces. 1.00
02:16:54.000 Is that true?
02:16:54.000 Did you know that?
02:16:55.000 Yeah, Big John McCarthy was telling me that.
02:16:57.000 What?
02:16:57.000 He said, the worst thing you want to find is a guy who's been dead for a couple of days and he's had cats.
02:17:01.000 Damn! 1.00
02:17:02.000 Yeah, the cats just eat your face. 1.00
02:17:03.000 When you stop giving them cat food, they just start eating you.
02:17:06.000 Whoa! 0.71
02:17:07.000 Yeah, whoa. 0.95
02:17:08.000 They eat your face. 0.85
02:17:09.000 They'll eat your face for a long time, too, until you get really rotten. 0.76
02:17:12.000 When you get really rotten.
02:17:13.000 Is it because you're not there to feed them and they're hungry?
02:17:16.000 Yep.
02:17:16.000 They don't...
02:17:17.000 They don't really domesticate. 1.00
02:17:18.000 Your dog will fucking starve to death. 1.00
02:17:20.000 Most dogs. 1.00
02:17:21.000 Maybe you might be a cunt to your dog and your dog might eat you, too. 1.00
02:17:23.000 But most dogs will, like, sit there and they'll want... 1.00
02:17:26.000 Just die.
02:17:26.000 Yeah, they'll want their owner to wake up.
02:17:28.000 What about a tortoise? 0.99
02:17:28.000 I have a fucking tortoise there, but he's going to live to be 200 years old. 0.99
02:17:31.000 Tortoises are man-eaters. 1.00
02:17:32.000 If you faint, they eat your face. 1.00
02:17:35.000 You might wake up and you have no assholes. 1.00
02:17:40.000 They can only get their heads so far off. 1.00
02:17:42.000 I have narcolepsy! 1.00
02:17:43.000 Don't eat my asshole! 1.00
02:17:45.000 I'm fine, you fucking shitty turtle! 1.00
02:17:47.000 They beak your asshole. 1.00
02:17:48.000 Can't they go a long time without food, too? 1.00
02:17:50.000 I don't know.
02:17:51.000 I know snakes do.
02:17:53.000 If I call my wife and call in sick, I can come to the show tonight? 1.00
02:17:56.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
02:17:57.000 Dude, come to the show. 1.00
02:17:58.000 Yeah, you can come for sure.
02:18:00.000 Absolutely, man.
02:18:01.000 Can I plug my date this weekend?
02:18:03.000 Okay, where are you at?
02:18:04.000 I'm going to be at the San Jose Improv.
02:18:06.000 Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
02:18:08.000 One of my favorite places in the world.
02:18:09.000 You know who lives near there?
02:18:10.000 Luke Rockhold, Donald Cerrone's favorite person.
02:18:13.000 Can I plug my event?
02:18:15.000 Hell yeah. 0.99
02:18:16.000 Orlando, Florida, December 19th, and fucking new, and new champion of the motherfucking world. 0.99
02:18:22.000 Give me a new belt buckle. 0.99
02:18:23.000 I'll be there.
02:18:24.000 Are you going to be there?
02:18:24.000 I'll be there for my boyfriend.
02:18:26.000 I'm going to be there.
02:18:27.000 Best seat in the house.
02:18:28.000 Do you want to do the gig with me the night before?
02:18:29.000 Yeah, December 19th.
02:18:31.000 Yeah, whatever the night before is, I'm doing the gig.
02:18:32.000 Can I come? 1.00
02:18:33.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
02:18:34.000 Orlando, Florida? 1.00
02:18:36.000 Of course.
02:18:36.000 You got tickets now.
02:18:37.000 I need those because I'm going to be there the night before.
02:18:38.000 Yeah, I'm booking something.
02:18:39.000 I'm booking some theater in there on Friday night.
02:18:41.000 Now that we can't IV, I'll be out of there earlier.
02:18:43.000 Would you get nervous thinking about that date, or are you ready?
02:18:45.000 He's excited.
02:18:46.000 Born ready. 1.00
02:18:47.000 Born ready, bitch. 1.00
02:18:48.000 How dare you. 1.00
02:18:48.000 He's full of Skull and Budweiser. 1.00
02:18:51.000 He's an American badass. 0.92
02:18:53.000 He smashed him. 0.51
02:18:54.000 I'm coming. 0.70
02:18:55.000 Donald Trump is an American badass. 1.00
02:18:57.000 I wish I had a fucking billion dollars and a huge belt buckle. 0.99
02:19:01.000 Alright, we gotta end this. 0.99
02:19:02.000 It's 7 o'clock.
02:19:03.000 We gotta show up. 0.99
02:19:03.000 Dos Anjos, I'm fucking coming! 0.99
02:19:04.000 19th, motherfucker, and new. 1.00
02:19:07.000 You heard him. 1.00
02:19:08.000 Loud.
02:19:09.000 I love it.
02:19:09.000 I'll be rubbing.
02:19:10.000 Joe Rogan.
02:19:11.000 I'm rubbing my underwear. 1.00
02:19:12.000 In this bitch. 1.00
02:19:13.000 Donald Cerrone, motherfucker. 1.00
02:19:14.000 Donald, you hear this? 1.00
02:19:15.000 Donald, get him kicking. 0.87
02:19:16.000 All right, we're out, folks.
02:19:17.000 Thank you for tuning in.
02:19:18.000 Much love.
02:19:19.000 See you soon.
02:19:19.000 Bye-bye.
02:19:20.000 Yeah.
02:19:22.000 Three hours, huh?