The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #701 - Honey Honey (Part 1)

00:00:02.000 OTPHJ. Over the pants hand jump. 0.98

00:00:04.000 Over the pants hand jump. 0.72

00:00:06.000 Did you just make that up? 0.99

00:00:07.000 I was just waiting for the right fucking time. 1.00

00:00:10.000 Oh my god. 0.99

00:00:13.000 That's hilarious.

00:00:14.000 Alright, ladies and gentlemen.

00:00:15.000 This is now where it's official.

00:00:17.000 It's happening.

00:00:18.000 Yeah, I said it.

00:00:18.000 It sounds professional.

00:00:20.000 Someone said, who said I have a radio voice?

00:00:22.000 Oh, Donald.

00:00:22.000 Cowboy was like, I got a radio voice.

00:00:25.000 Now it's your radio voice.

00:00:26.000 Donald Cowboy?

00:00:26.000 Donald Cowboy Cerrone.

00:00:27.000 He's a guy who fights in the UFC. Awesome.

00:00:29.000 And he was here for the podcast the other day, and he said, excuse me of having a radio voice.

00:00:33.000 Now I think about it. 0.99

00:00:34.000 Fuck, do I? You have a delicate voice. 1.00

00:00:36.000 Why is that a bad thing?

00:00:37.000 I think that's a compliment.

00:00:39.000 Well, I recognize that the instrument has a bunch of different sounds that it can make.

00:00:44.000 This is one of the reasons why I appreciate music.

00:00:47.000 I appreciate music.

00:00:48.000 I've told you guys this before.

00:00:49.000 One of the things I love about what you guys do is I have zero talent.

00:00:52.000 I love something that I have where I don't know anything about it.

00:00:56.000 It's fascinating.

00:00:57.000 I love music.

00:00:57.000 I'm a huge fan.

00:00:58.000 I know nothing about it.

00:01:00.000 When you guys start talking about bars and notes, and I'm like, blah.

00:01:03.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:01:04.000 I have a question.

00:01:05.000 We don't either.

00:01:07.000 Do you?

00:01:08.000 Honestly.

00:01:08.000 Are you, like, because you use your voice a lot, you know, when you're on stage and you use it in different registers and, you know, you podcast.

00:01:14.000 Do you, like, have you ever had problems with it?

00:01:17.000 No.

00:01:17.000 That's amazing.

00:01:18.000 Well, I do a lot of screaming, too.

00:01:20.000 That's what's crazy.

00:01:21.000 Well, I know you do.

00:01:21.000 I know, and you hear a lot of comedians that...

00:01:22.000 Weirdest set up with, I think. 0.99

00:01:24.000 You know, you could do it without fucking your thing up. 0.97

00:01:26.000 Well, the UFC is the weirdest one. 1.00

00:01:28.000 I fucking scream sometimes. 0.99

00:01:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:01:31.000 I don't even know I'm doing it until I'm doing it.

00:01:33.000 Like, sometimes I'm standing up.

00:01:35.000 I don't even know I'm up.

00:01:36.000 Like, I'm standing up while I'm doing...

00:01:37.000 Like, there was an Orlovsky and Travis Brown fight. 0.95

00:01:42.000 This crazy fight between these two giant guys who are peeing the fuck out of each other.

00:01:46.000 They kept getting dropped, like, over and over. 0.80

00:01:49.000 Orlovsky dropped him.

00:01:50.000 Three times and he kept getting up and then he dropped Arlovski and then Arlovski came back and knocked him out and by the end of the fight I was standing up screaming and I had to realize I didn't in my pants first I didn't know I was up until I was like I was fucking standing up I don't even know I've I've only done that a couple times ever I just all of a sudden I'm standing up.

00:02:09.000 Well the fact that you can scream and you don't lose your voice I think is remarkable because it's like I Back when I was bartending, I would lose my voice all the time just from trying to raise your volume.

00:02:21.000 But when I quit bartending, my voice went up like an octave.

00:02:25.000 But I had to go to speech therapy, so I learned all these things about how to use my voice.

00:02:28.000 So where were you back then?

00:02:30.000 When you say up an octave, is that like there's an actual note?

00:02:34.000 For singing, not for my...

00:02:35.000 I wasn't like speaking in a...

00:02:37.000 I'd be like, hello!

00:02:38.000 Well, those old ladies that you hear about, like the old bar lady. 1.00

00:02:42.000 Yeah.

00:02:42.000 Who was that girl?

00:02:43.000 Sue Bob. 0.98

00:02:43.000 Sue Bob from the Whites of West Virginia. 0.98

00:02:46.000 Another Budweiser boy.

00:02:47.000 I've always been the sexy one in the family.

00:02:49.000 You ever seen it?

00:02:50.000 You haven't seen it?

00:02:50.000 Oh, God.

00:02:51.000 Oh, my God.

00:02:51.000 No, you've never seen it?

00:02:52.000 Never once.

00:02:53.000 The wonderful Whites of West Virginia.

00:02:54.000 Oh, my God.

00:02:55.000 Everyone talks about that.

00:02:56.000 Oh, my God.

00:02:57.000 Did you tell us about this before?

00:02:58.000 We must have.

00:02:59.000 Probably.

00:03:00.000 Everybody.

00:03:01.000 Required viewing. 0.96

00:03:02.000 Once you've seen it, you can't shut the fuck up about it. 0.93

00:03:04.000 Because you're like, yo, wasn't it Johnny Knoxville? 0.97

00:03:07.000 Was it his?

00:03:08.000 Amazing.

00:03:09.000 Amazing.

00:03:09.000 It's just a really well done documentary.

00:03:12.000 Not just Freaky People, but it's all that bar.

00:03:14.000 That bar voice.

00:03:16.000 They got that bar voice.

00:03:17.000 It's intense.

00:03:19.000 Cigarettes and yelling.

00:03:20.000 Yeah, cigarettes, booze and yelling.

00:03:23.000 Woo! 0.99

00:03:23.000 There's a sexiness to it, though. 0.99

00:03:25.000 There's definitely a, oh wow, that person has fun.

00:03:29.000 I like having a raspy voice, but also know that it's just damage, so I'm not super pumped about it at the same time.

00:03:38.000 I think people are really attracted to voices like that in general, though.

00:03:41.000 You listen to Otis Redding. 1.00

00:03:42.000 He's got a battered fucking voice. 1.00

00:03:44.000 Janis Joplin. 1.00

00:03:45.000 How about Bukowski?

00:03:46.000 I mean, that was half of his thing.

00:03:49.000 Born into this.

00:03:51.000 Yeah.

00:03:52.000 And you trust him.

00:03:53.000 That was half of his thing.

00:03:54.000 Like, oh, yeah.

00:03:54.000 But I also think it was his, like...

00:03:56.000 That's a good way of saying it.

00:03:57.000 It's like some people have that incredible ability to, like, channel their person through this incredible voice, like Bukowski or somebody like that.

00:04:04.000 And, like, you know, so they're easier to listen to.

00:04:07.000 Well, Bukowski's poems were always just raw and interesting, but they were nothing like when he read them.

00:04:13.000 Especially when you saw...

00:04:15.000 For him, he's one of the rare poets that I think that a visual aspect enhances it significantly.

00:04:22.000 I love one of my favorite...

00:04:25.000 There's a bunch of videos of him at, like, these readings.

00:04:30.000 And he would sit in front of these audiences and he would drink wine. 0.99

00:04:33.000 And he would get fucked up. 1.00

00:04:34.000 And if people would talk, he would yell at them, I'll come over there right now and I'll beat the fucking shit out of you. 1.00

00:04:41.000 He was this old drunk man. 1.00

00:04:43.000 And he really would have gone into the audience and fought people.

00:04:47.000 And then he would read this, like, really intense stuff that he wrote about life and mortality and his, you know...

00:04:54.000 Vision of humanity.

00:04:56.000 It's so hard to get people to care about poetry.

00:05:01.000 So I think that's how you do it.

00:05:02.000 You gotta kind of yell at them.

00:05:05.000 You're taking such a crazy chance to even say you wrote a poem.

00:05:08.000 You tell someone, hey, I wrote a poem. 0.99

00:05:10.000 Nobody goes, yeah, fucking awesome! 0.99

00:05:13.000 Bring it, dude! 0.95

00:05:14.000 Bring that poem! 0.92

00:05:15.000 Let's hear those feelings.

00:05:16.000 You know, most of the time when someone says, I wrote a poem, I'd like you to read it, like, no!

00:05:22.000 No!

00:05:23.000 Like, if someone says they have a song, I'm like, oh, I love songs.

00:05:26.000 If someone says, dude, I got the best joke, oh, I can't wait to hear it.

00:05:29.000 I got the best poem. 1.00

00:05:30.000 Don't get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:05:32.000 The best poem is a chore. 0.99

00:05:35.000 The best!

00:05:36.000 Oh, man.

00:05:36.000 Right?

00:05:37.000 The best poet is a bore, and the best poem is a chore.

00:05:40.000 The best.

00:05:41.000 The very best.

00:05:42.000 A little poetry right there, Joe.

00:05:44.000 Oh my god, did you just write a poem?

00:05:45.000 Rhyme. 1.00

00:05:46.000 Damn. 1.00

00:05:48.000 That's my work. 1.00

00:05:50.000 Don't lay that shit on us. 0.99

00:05:51.000 But when there is a visual element, it's amazing. 1.00

00:05:54.000 You know Spaulding Gray?

00:05:55.000 Yes. 1.00

00:05:56.000 Fuck, that's incredible. 1.00

00:05:57.000 Didn't he commit suicide? 1.00

00:05:59.000 I don't remember.

00:06:00.000 I don't know.

00:06:00.000 But he did that Swimming in Cambodia stuff, and it's him just telling these stories, and it's really poetic.

00:06:07.000 But it's the storytelling element.

00:06:10.000 You know, and all of a sudden we want to listen to it.

00:06:12.000 I want to listen to it. 0.95

00:06:12.000 I think it's fucking cool. 0.95

00:06:13.000 How about Eric Bogosian? 0.98

00:06:14.000 I don't know who that dude is.

00:06:16.000 Yeah, he, I think, um, I think, yeah, Spaldinger did do that.

00:06:21.000 He was having some health issues, and he wound up killing himself.

00:06:25.000 But Eric Boghossian was a guy who...

00:06:27.000 Actually, he was doing more like one-man shows.

00:06:30.000 No, Boghossian was in a bunch of movies for a while.

00:06:33.000 But he actually did some acting, too.

00:06:35.000 But he did these one-man show things.

00:06:38.000 I want to say he was reading...

00:06:40.000 I want to say they were really well-done readings, too, that he did.

00:06:45.000 But Spaulding Gray was a guy who was more known for it, right?

00:06:47.000 Because he sat down at the table.

00:06:48.000 Yeah, he had this desk, and he even had a real theatrical vibe.

00:06:51.000 Lights would be going on.

00:06:53.000 Yeah.

00:06:54.000 It's sad when you hear about a guy like that killing himself. 1.00

00:06:57.000 Because you're like, fuck, dude. 1.00

00:06:59.000 You know, all those people liked you. 1.00

00:07:01.000 Was he very famous when he died?

00:07:04.000 Yeah.

00:07:04.000 Well, he was famous enough that we're talking about him.

00:07:06.000 Yeah, but in that community.

00:07:07.000 Yeah, in that community, I'm sure.

00:07:09.000 He was reasonably well-known, for sure.

00:07:13.000 And at the time, he had been on TV quite a bit, which is where Ben and I probably saw him first, right?

00:07:19.000 I saw him on the YouTube.

00:07:21.000 Because he had that series, like, who's the filmmaker?

00:07:25.000 He did a lot of concert films, and I can't remember his name right now.

00:07:28.000 But in the 60s, he was taking Hendrix footage, and he was taking a lot of festival footage in the 60s, which nobody was really doing at that time, or at least nowhere near what they're doing now.

00:07:37.000 Wait, this isn't like some of the rounder stuff.

00:07:41.000 No, that was way earlier.

00:07:41.000 Lomax?

00:07:42.000 That's not Lomax.

00:07:43.000 No.

00:07:44.000 He was more...

00:07:44.000 Walter Gray, I think his heyday was like the 80s, late 70s, 80s.

00:07:46.000 So it was like swimming to Cambodia was 87. But who's the guy who did that, who did the film?

00:07:53.000 What?

00:07:54.000 Cambodia?

00:07:55.000 Who directed it?

00:07:55.000 Let me see here.

00:07:56.000 Hold on, please. 0.98

00:07:57.000 Because he did this, I think, the Toronto Peace Festival, this fucking amazing... 0.98

00:08:02.000 Jonathan Demi? 0.98

00:08:03.000 Demi, yeah.

00:08:04.000 Nice work.

00:08:04.000 There you go.

00:08:05.000 You're faster than me, you bastard. 1.00

00:08:07.000 Did you look it up? 1.00

00:08:07.000 I have it, too. 1.00

00:08:08.000 I was trying.

00:08:13.000 It was about his participation in the movie The Killing Fields.

00:08:16.000 I didn't know that he had anything to do with that.

00:08:19.000 All these beautiful stories.

00:08:20.000 It's not much about the production.

00:08:22.000 It's about his experiences. 1.00

00:08:23.000 He just took shit. 1.00

00:08:25.000 He was an extreme or a radical liver. 1.00

00:08:29.000 And just a great storyteller.

00:08:31.000 Which is super rare, I think.

00:08:33.000 I mean, it seems like mainly that's kind of the comedian's realm now. 0.97

00:08:38.000 People don't give a shit about storytellers, but if you're a comedian, you can tell us a story. 0.94

00:08:43.000 Well, I think in a way, the problem is trying to sell this, just like we're talking about selling poetry. 0.99

00:08:49.000 Selling a guy who's doing a one-man show or a one-man story, it's hard.

00:08:53.000 But essentially, a lot of people's podcasts are like that.

00:08:57.000 Or stand-up.

00:08:58.000 I mean, stand-up.

00:08:59.000 Stand-up can be.

00:08:59.000 Same thing.

00:09:00.000 In a lot of ways, yeah.

00:09:01.000 But I think the idea about stand-up is, though, that you're going to try to be as self-indulgent, like, only...

00:09:08.000 You try to be as little self-indulgent as possible.

00:09:11.000 I mean, that's the wrong way of phrasing that.

00:09:13.000 But the least amount of self-indulgent humanly possible and the most amount of entertainment for the people that are listening.

00:09:18.000 So the most amount of self-deprecation, the most amount of laughs that you can get out of it, the most amount of humility and approaching the laugh so you don't make people uncomfortable.

00:09:28.000 There's all these variables in achieving the laugh.

00:09:31.000 And achieving the laugh is like the proof that you're on the same level and then they appreciate your sincerity and then you're funny and you're hilarious.

00:09:39.000 It's all working together.

00:09:40.000 So it's all like...

00:09:42.000 This dance that you're doing to achieve a result. 0.99

00:09:44.000 Whereas, you don't have to have a real result with one of these fucking things. 0.99

00:09:50.000 But it has to be gripping. 0.99

00:09:52.000 You know what I mean?

00:09:53.000 You would think.

00:09:54.000 But the amount that aren't, to get it to that polished diamond state requires a lot of discipline.

00:10:00.000 Sure, but you can see the same about stand-up, right? 0.99

00:10:02.000 But stand-up, you eat dick on stage. 0.99

00:10:05.000 It just balances it out. 0.99

00:10:07.000 It's just too hard.

00:10:09.000 The bombing is too hard on the soul.

00:10:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:10:11.000 You'll come around writing the best shit you can. 1.00

00:10:15.000 I really think there's a level of bravery in stand-up that is not really involved in music. 0.98

00:10:20.000 People just don't judge you the same way.

00:10:22.000 Wow.

00:10:23.000 It's a weird thing to quantify because I think there's a level of bravery in being a soldier that's a lot tougher than...

00:10:29.000 Sure, but none of those people are here.

00:10:31.000 We can go deeper and deeper, though.

00:10:32.000 You know what I mean?

00:10:33.000 There's a level of bravery when Buck Rogers saved the earth.

00:10:37.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:10:39.000 I mean, there's always going to be...

00:10:40.000 Everybody makes their effort in a different way, you know?

00:10:43.000 Definitely.

00:10:44.000 If I had the physical structure to be a soldier and the brain power, emotional power. 1.00

00:10:51.000 Do you think you can go over and kick some ass for America? 0.98

00:10:53.000 I think I could, but I don't know if it would be for America as much as it would probably be to save myself, not to sound so selfish. 0.99

00:11:02.000 For Cincinnati.

00:11:03.000 I'm not into America.

00:11:03.000 I would do it for Cleveland.

00:11:04.000 Just parts of Ohio. 1.00

00:11:05.000 I would kick ass for Cleveland. 1.00

00:11:07.000 I don't know about all of America. 1.00

00:11:09.000 I'm just kidding.

00:11:10.000 Cincinnati and Cleveland, do they have a rivalry at all?

00:11:13.000 Absolutely.

00:11:14.000 Are they going to hate on you now, next time you're there?

00:11:18.000 No.

00:11:18.000 Cincinnati's fine by me.

00:11:20.000 Cincinnati?

00:11:20.000 No.

00:11:21.000 Look, look, look.

00:11:22.000 How dare you?

00:11:23.000 It's really Kentucky. 0.84

00:11:23.000 Browns vs. 0.84

00:11:24.000 Bengals.

00:11:25.000 Browns vs. 0.97

00:11:26.000 Steelers.

00:11:26.000 Browns vs.

00:11:27.000 Ravens.

00:11:28.000 That's the trifecta of...

00:11:30.000 Of difficult times in that region of the country, but I'll be honest with you, I love playing in Pittsburgh, I love playing in Cincinnati, and every time I'll have fun, harmless banter about our sports teams.

00:11:44.000 I can't really say the same about Baltimore as much as, like Baltimore is a great town, but we only really went through there once, and we literally stopped to eat dinner and found crack on the ground.

00:11:53.000 This is bad PRC's.

00:11:54.000 We gotta build Baltimore back up.

00:11:57.000 I know, but we want to come play there.

00:11:59.000 Help us.

00:12:00.000 You're going to have to take some time.

00:12:02.000 Don't be a hero, okay?

00:12:04.000 We were talking about the amount of bravery it takes to be a comedian.

00:12:07.000 It takes more bravery to play Baltimore.

00:12:10.000 I had this guy, Michael Wood, who was a cop from Baltimore.

00:12:13.000 I had him on the podcast.

00:12:14.000 Oh, wow.

00:12:15.000 He was a retired cop and a young guy, too.

00:12:18.000 He had just a massive shoulder injury.

00:12:20.000 His shoulder blew apart.

00:12:21.000 They put it back together and it blew apart again.

00:12:23.000 He had to retire.

00:12:24.000 But...

00:12:26.000 Very intelligent, articulate dude, and very compassionate, and outside of the police department now.

00:12:31.000 You know, still a young guy.

00:12:33.000 What was he, like 35 or something like that?

00:12:36.000 Maybe younger.

00:12:36.000 And you say blew apart.

00:12:37.000 Did he get shot?

00:12:38.000 No.

00:12:38.000 I forget what the injury was, but he had to get shoulder reconstructive surgery, and then it still didn't take.

00:12:44.000 And it was like, his shoulder's fucked. 0.86

00:12:45.000 Like, he apparently was in a high-speed chase, and his shoulder just blew out while he was turning the steering wheel. 1.00

00:12:50.000 It's pretty fucked up. 0.99

00:12:52.000 But the point is, like, he was talking about how crazy Baltimore has always been. 0.99

00:12:56.000 They found some directives, I guess it was, from the police department from the 1970s.

00:13:03.000 Mm-hmm. 0.97

00:13:03.000 And he's like, me and these other cops are reading this, we're like, Jesus fucking Christ, we're running, we're chasing our tails. 0.97

00:13:08.000 Like, this is exactly the same places where the exact same crimes are going on. 0.77

00:13:12.000 No, there's a specific reason for that, and that's because there was, like, literal, like, constitutional, like, city ordinances.

00:13:20.000 Of segregation and consolidating these neighborhoods and having them be specifically black.

00:13:25.000 And you couldn't buy a house in a certain neighborhood if you were black, even if you had the money. 1.00

00:13:30.000 You know, it's the whole...

00:13:31.000 The whole tier is like they were just built to fail. 0.99

00:13:35.000 And the reason that crime was flourishing and thriving so much is because they didn't have a fucking chance. 0.99

00:13:41.000 I mean, it's like... 0.98

00:13:43.000 I listened to a NPR podcast a little while ago that explained how, was it the 60s boom?

00:13:53.000 It was post-war, post-World War II. Post-World War II. And they're making all these housing ordinances for the vets and things like that, and they're like, hey guys, welcome back.

00:13:59.000 You can't live here.

00:14:01.000 It's pretty brutal.

00:14:02.000 It's awful.

00:14:03.000 It is pretty awful.

00:14:04.000 I didn't even know about that until a few years ago.

00:14:06.000 Yeah, and it seemed like...

00:14:08.000 Do you remember who brought that up?

00:14:10.000 Someone brought that up on the podcast, and we were like, what?

00:14:13.000 And we had a look into it.

00:14:14.000 Do you remember who it was, Jimmy?

00:14:15.000 No?

00:14:16.000 It's the same with education, too.

00:14:18.000 I mean, it would be like all of these, you know, schools that just wouldn't let intelligent African Americans in, and you wouldn't get the education that you wanted or deserved or, you know, could achieve. 1.00

00:14:29.000 And it was just like, you know, you're kind of stuck in this box, which is those neighborhoods.

00:14:33.000 You know, they were made for that. 1.00

00:14:35.000 It's so fucked up. 0.99

00:14:37.000 Well, there's so many levels to the whole thing. 1.00

00:14:40.000 Like, first of all, the level of overcoming slavery. 0.99

00:14:43.000 Like, you ever heard a white guy say, God, it was so long ago, fucking get over it. 0.98

00:14:47.000 You know, I've heard white guys say that, and you go, okay. 0.99

00:14:51.000 It's not that long.

00:14:53.000 Less than 100 years before what she was just talking about.

00:14:56.000 Yeah, it seems like it was long.

00:14:58.000 Like, I have a 1965 Corvette.

00:15:01.000 When that Corvette, when it was made, 100 years before that, almost exactly, slavery was abolished. 0.99

00:15:09.000 That's fucking crazy! 0.99

00:15:11.000 That's crazy! 1.00

00:15:11.000 That's insane! 1.00

00:15:13.000 That might be one of the most bizarre things.

00:15:15.000 100 years is not...

00:15:16.000 My wife's mom died recently, and she was 97. Like, she was 100 years old.

00:15:22.000 Wow. 0.99

00:15:23.000 So, from the time that she died to, like, realistically, she could have been alive while fucking slavery was happening. 1.00

00:15:31.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:15:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:32.000 I mean, it's realistic.

00:15:33.000 That's no good. 0.99

00:15:34.000 Like, that amount of age, you could have someone from 1965, and if they were that age, they could remember fucking slavery. 0.99

00:15:43.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:15:44.000 What?

00:15:45.000 That was terrible.

00:15:46.000 Oh, God. 1.00

00:15:47.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:15:48.000 That's like when I was born. 0.99

00:15:49.000 I was born in 67. So I was born two years after that.

00:15:52.000 Like that is, to me, when I put it in those terms, like the generational terms, it was yesterday.

00:15:57.000 Yeah.

00:15:57.000 People had slaves yesterday.

00:16:00.000 And they still do some places now.

00:16:03.000 I mean, this is just our country.

00:16:04.000 It's going on all the time.

00:16:05.000 We were just talking about nail salons. 0.99

00:16:07.000 Something that we found out that's really disturbing is that, you know, there's like a dime a dozen nail salons in New York City or places like, you know, L.A. where it's really cheap to get your toes and your fucking ears painted. 0.97

00:16:18.000 Which feels really good, by the way. 0.94

00:16:20.000 There's this, like...

00:16:23.000 Wow, you're so...

00:16:25.000 Keep it going.

00:16:27.000 You're so put together.

00:16:28.000 By the way, you are missing a button and I can see your belly button. 1.00

00:16:30.000 Whoa.

00:16:31.000 You just let it breathe.

00:16:32.000 Anyone have a problem with that in here?

00:16:34.000 I don't have a problem with that.

00:16:35.000 No, but these nail salons, they bring in men and women from, you know, Thailand, Vietnam, and they're like indentured servants and they make them work and they don't pay them and they live in these, like, apartments with, like, 15 people sleeping in one room. 0.98

00:16:50.000 Like, it's all this shit. 0.99

00:16:52.000 Guys, how are we going to fix this shit? 1.00

00:16:53.000 Hmm? 1.00

00:16:54.000 Yeah, how do they fix that?

00:16:55.000 It's a really good question.

00:16:57.000 I think in this, like, what you can control, for sure, first, is in this country.

00:17:02.000 You know, I mean, things like what we talked about before the show about my friend Justin Wren and all these little artifacts he brought back from the Congo.

00:17:10.000 Like, that guy's, like, changing things in, like, real time.

00:17:14.000 But, like, in this country, I think there's a bunch of things that could be done that are just not done.

00:17:20.000 And one of the major ones is they have to treat really poor neighborhoods not like a static reality that has just, this is what it is, this is a really poor neighborhood.

00:17:29.000 They have to put it like it's a problem, like a wildfire.

00:17:32.000 Like, here, you got a wildfire.

00:17:34.000 What are you going to do?

00:17:34.000 Are you just going to let it burn and just get out of the way?

00:17:37.000 Or are you going to put it out?

00:17:38.000 You have a problem.

00:17:40.000 Your electricity is down.

00:17:42.000 You have a water main broke.

00:17:45.000 There's a problem.

00:17:46.000 But those have such direct solutions.

00:17:49.000 That's what's so difficult about it.

00:17:51.000 Put water on a fire, it's going to go out.

00:17:53.000 God, the implications of all that stuff is so crazy.

00:17:56.000 I think they should admit, first and foremost, that a horrible crime has been done.

00:18:00.000 In places like Baltimore, what Michael Wood described it as institutionalized racism.

00:18:07.000 And we talk about the zones where people lived.

00:18:09.000 It's hard to argue against that.

00:18:11.000 And then you have to feel...

00:18:12.000 Then you have to think about, like, what is the best way to help people out of this?

00:18:18.000 What's the best way to engineer, like, a more crime-free, safer, more educated and aware, and a more...

00:18:27.000 How these people feel like they belong a part of the rest of the city.

00:18:31.000 How to do that without engendering.

00:18:33.000 It's collective efforts. 0.98

00:18:36.000 I'm really glad we're talking about this because I think this kind of thing keeps me up at night when I think about, fuck, what can I do? 0.96

00:18:45.000 What can we do? 0.97

00:18:45.000 You should write a poem about it. 0.97

00:18:47.000 People want to hear it. 1.00

00:18:48.000 Listen, motherfucker. 1.00

00:18:49.000 I'll write a poem right now. 1.00

00:18:51.000 That could be the start.

00:18:55.000 But things like, Joe, your podcast are... 1.00

00:19:01.000 Your fucking podcast. 1.00

00:19:02.000 Your fucking podcast. 1.00

00:19:03.000 I'm serious, though. 1.00

00:19:04.000 This kind of thing is part of that collective effort.

00:19:08.000 As giving people that first grain of thought of like, oh, wow, I never knew that there were zoning laws in Baltimore and inner cities that...

00:19:16.000 It made it really hard for black people to get ahead in life, that they had no scholarships.

00:19:22.000 The changes that need to take place, like we don't have some kind of solution, like this think tank, but you have this platform.

00:19:31.000 Where you can start talking about it and informing people.

00:19:34.000 And, you know, when I get really worked up and think about, like, what can we do?

00:19:40.000 You know, we have this band that is growing and getting attention.

00:19:44.000 And, you know, you have these opportunities to sit here and talk to somebody like you, and people are listening.

00:19:49.000 And, you know, you hope that that starts more another train of thought that can actually make some kind of difference.

00:19:56.000 I don't know what it is.

00:19:58.000 I think people are already having these conversations, and one of the things that they love about podcasts like this is because, you know, you go, yes, other people are thinking like this too.

00:20:07.000 Like, people are wondering, how did we get to be grown adults with this chaotic system in place that was established by people who, you know, when you go back to the origins of civilization, even just in this country, which is like a really recent country, those people were monsters!

00:20:25.000 Those people that came here on boats, they were monsters.

00:20:30.000 You ever read what Columbus had done? 0.89

00:20:33.000 Oh my god, they were monsters.

00:20:36.000 What they did to those people. 1.00

00:20:39.000 Yeah, that's fucked up. 0.99

00:20:40.000 I just read this book about... 0.98

00:20:42.000 The first, like, the first interactions between the West, or England mainly, or Europe and Japan, you know, and the journeys that these people would have to go through to trade, to make contact with these countries.

00:20:53.000 And, I mean, it's the way they looked at the world then was the way we look at the universe now.

00:20:58.000 It's just like, I don't know what's over there.

00:20:59.000 I have no idea what's going on. 0.99

00:21:01.000 There's things jutting, there's icebergs jutting out of the water and monsters that eat people, like, and cannibals and shit. 0.99

00:21:07.000 Like, that was real. 0.91

00:21:08.000 You know, so it's like this super, I think, It's a climate of defensiveness that we all, just as a person, you grow up kind of trying to defend yourself against the environment.

00:21:19.000 At an extremely high level.

00:21:20.000 You know?

00:21:21.000 And then back then...

00:21:22.000 It always takes...

00:21:22.000 Oh, sorry, go ahead.

00:21:23.000 There's just a layer of danger that, at least where we are, You're not accustomed to. 0.99

00:21:27.000 You're going around the world being like, holy fuck, where am I? I don't want to get killed. 0.99

00:21:31.000 50% of my men just died.

00:21:34.000 I don't know.

00:21:35.000 I don't know what I'm trying to say other than the context is so different.

00:21:39.000 It's a totally different world.

00:21:41.000 That's why it's insane to have our civilization run the way it's run now just because it's been done this way for 100 plus, 200 plus, whatever years.

00:21:51.000 If we wanted to start out today, how many people do you think would accept an electoral college?

00:21:55.000 How many people would accept the idea that you actually just elect a representative, and that representative can actually, like, he can choose to vote against the wishes of the rest of the state.

00:22:04.000 Like, you can, you have, like, electoral college, and then you have, when each state has a certain amount of points that go in, and you watch the, when you watch the vote, like, they're like, how many votes is what?

00:22:17.000 And what's going on? 0.99

00:22:18.000 The numbers are in, and what the fuck are you talking about? 0.98

00:22:21.000 And then you find out, especially during the George Bush days, that they were still doing it with a piece of paper. 0.99

00:22:26.000 With a hole in a piece of paper. 0.99

00:22:28.000 What the fuck, Chad? 1.00

00:22:30.000 Wasn't that like the 90s when the election was recalled? 1.00

00:22:35.000 Because they had a recount.

00:22:37.000 Well, to this day, people still believe Al Gore won.

00:22:41.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:22:41.000 There's a lot of people that believe he won and that they fucked him out of Florida. 0.98

00:22:44.000 And there's also, like, the Republicans that did some weird shit where they, like, they crossed people's names out and banned them if they thought they were black. 0.97

00:22:53.000 And then they would have to prove that they weren't the person that was off this list of, like, felons or, you know, like, sometimes people—Jimmy White. 0.99

00:23:02.000 There's a lot of fucking Jimmy Whites, man. 1.00

00:23:04.000 If you're Jimmy White and you live in Baltimore and there's a thousand of the Jimmy Whites and 20 of them have been to jail, good luck getting registered to vote. 1.00

00:23:13.000 They're going to put you on a fucking list and then you have to go to court to make sure that you can vote. 0.98

00:23:20.000 It takes too much time. 0.99

00:23:21.000 They're not going to do it.

00:23:21.000 No one's going to do it.

00:23:22.000 They don't have the time for that and they know that and so they rigged it, which is just dark.

00:23:27.000 Here's the thing.

00:23:28.000 Un-American. 0.91

00:23:29.000 The system is flawed. 0.99

00:23:31.000 I mean, there's just no fucking two ways around it. 0.86

00:23:34.000 I just don't think it needs to be here anymore. 0.53

00:23:37.000 I think it's like one of those things like, you need to write books on paper with ink.

00:23:42.000 You need a quill.

00:23:44.000 And you need to sit by a candlelight.

00:23:46.000 Oh, it's super antiquated.

00:23:46.000 No, you don't need to sit by a candlelight.

00:23:48.000 You don't need to write with a feather.

00:23:49.000 You can talk and your computer will dictate it. 0.96

00:23:53.000 We're in a new world, and this world of, it's hard to get information across the states, so you need a representative, you want to make sure that every area, even the high population areas, they don't dominate the rural farmlands, so we need to have some sort of a system where people give a fuck about Iowa. 0.95

00:24:12.000 That's really what it is. 0.88

00:24:13.000 But that's only in place because it was all established when people were apes. 0.99

00:24:19.000 They were raft-riding apes with no cars.

00:24:22.000 They didn't have phones. 1.00

00:24:24.000 They didn't know where the fuck you went. 1.00

00:24:26.000 When you went out of sight, if you went into the woods, they thought you were a dream. 1.00

00:24:29.000 People didn't even know if they ever really did know you.

00:24:32.000 They didn't know. 0.92

00:24:33.000 If they fucking really knew for sure that you were coming back, they'd make a painting of you. 1.00

00:24:38.000 Damn! 1.00

00:24:39.000 Think about that. 1.00

00:24:40.000 They had fucking paintings! 1.00

00:24:42.000 That was it! 1.00

00:24:43.000 That was it! 1.00

00:24:45.000 Paintings and writing shit. 1.00

00:24:47.000 The wall in the cave was like an eight track. 0.99

00:24:50.000 We were just in Old Town San Diego yesterday.

00:24:55.000 We played in San Diego yesterday afternoon.

00:24:57.000 I love San Diego.

00:24:57.000 God, I love it down there.

00:24:59.000 It's pretty charming.

00:25:02.000 You know what?

00:25:03.000 I was so hungry, and I was walking by and passing, but they had costumed San Diego settlers, but they looked like pirates.

00:25:13.000 And they were walking through the streets, and people were freaking out.

00:25:19.000 They were like, well, there were like two big buses of tourists going crazy. 0.97

00:25:26.000 I was like, God damn it, everybody calm down. 0.98

00:25:31.000 It's just a guy with a cape on. 1.00

00:25:33.000 Fucking slow your roll. 0.99

00:25:35.000 But it was funny. 0.99

00:25:38.000 Well, just kind of piggybacking on what we're talking about.

00:25:41.000 I'm thoroughly obsessed with frontier shows like Deadwood, and I'm watching Hell on Wheels right now.

00:25:49.000 I just got into this show, Hell on Wheels.

00:25:51.000 What is that?

00:25:52.000 It's on AMC, and it's really well written.

00:25:55.000 I'm only in season two, so I don't know what happens after this, guys.

00:25:59.000 I don't know if this is a poor statement, but it's still going, so that says something about it.

00:26:03.000 What is it about?

00:26:03.000 It's about this railroad that's being built.

00:26:09.000 It's incredible to be privy to that day and age where it's so wild.

00:26:15.000 It's so lawless.

00:26:16.000 Everybody is just barely staying alive. 1.00

00:26:20.000 Indians are coming in, killing you and slaughtering you. 1.00

00:26:23.000 You're taking over their shit. 1.00

00:26:24.000 And it's really, for some reason, it just cuts right to my soul. 1.00

00:26:29.000 I can't not be just totally enamored and enthralled by it.

00:26:35.000 It's interesting to think about, because that also wasn't that long ago.

00:26:39.000 No.

00:26:39.000 The frontier days when the country focused solely on this one thing together, building this country.

00:26:47.000 Well, maybe not together, because there's so many immigrants and so many people that were like...

00:26:51.000 Isolated and but the point is that like it's interesting to witness Everyone fighting their battle, you know, but there's these great parts of the show when They all have to come together for a common purpose like there's robbers robbing the train that gets them their pay And if they don't get their pay they're broke,

00:27:09.000 you know, so there's like this interesting camaraderie and then their enemies and then and And that's kind of how it is in real life, which is interesting to think about because we're all so different.

00:27:21.000 And when you have these efforts, and I don't want to say common enemy because that sounds really negative, but when you're all working towards something with your differences, that's when actual progress starts being made.

00:27:33.000 Right.

00:27:34.000 That's always a good scene in a movie, right?

00:27:36.000 Yeah, it's a good scene in a movie.

00:27:37.000 You shake hands with the neighbors to fight the monsters.

00:27:39.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:27:39.000 And you cover Mel Gibson getting along all of a sudden.

00:27:42.000 It's the truth.

00:27:43.000 Exactly. 0.99

00:27:44.000 We're watching Terminator, fucking Terminator 2. Isn't that really why we get so angry and offended when people whine and bitch today? 0.99

00:27:53.000 Because you're like, good fucking lord, you live in the best time ever. 0.99

00:27:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:59.000 You know, it's just Society's going to shit, man. 1.00

00:28:01.000 No, it's good to be humble. 1.00

00:28:02.000 The world is fucking falling apart, okay? 0.98

00:28:04.000 No one has any values anymore. 0.98

00:28:06.000 I mean, no one values culture or art.

00:28:08.000 Will you please stop saying that, everyone?

00:28:11.000 We're just dealing with overwhelming numbers of people yelling in a room.

00:28:16.000 That's what it is. 0.99

00:28:17.000 It's not that there's not as much or way more interesting shit in that noise. 0.99

00:28:23.000 It's just there's so many fucking people communicating now. 0.99

00:28:26.000 It's crazy. 0.98

00:28:27.000 It's the whole rule The whole game is a different thing.

00:28:32.000 Everyone talks now.

00:28:34.000 Everyone!

00:28:35.000 You know what's super cool is getting people outside of their comfort zone and watching how they deal with it in a way that...

00:28:43.000 So my folks live in Ohio.

00:28:47.000 Pretty Republican. 0.98

00:28:49.000 But they're really good people, and they're fucking hilarious. 0.98

00:28:52.000 And they came out to five shows in Colorado on this last tour that we had. 0.96

00:28:55.000 Uh-oh.

00:28:55.000 Contact time.

00:28:57.000 Oh, my God.

00:28:57.000 Joe, it was so fun.

00:28:58.000 We came so close to smoking weed.

00:29:00.000 So close.

00:29:01.000 So my dad just retired.

00:29:03.000 There was like a ginger backing out of the room.

00:29:05.000 We'll show us there to help.

00:29:06.000 It was so fun.

00:29:07.000 My dad's got a super thick Cleveland accent.

00:29:09.000 He's like, if I'm going to smoke pot with my daughter and it's legal, I'm going to do it.

00:29:14.000 And I was just like, dad.

00:29:15.000 But you didn't do it, Ray.

00:29:16.000 And I was like, well, it ain't no 70s dirt weed.

00:29:18.000 I mean, I was like, Ray, look.

00:29:19.000 Ray, you've got to take it slow, son.

00:29:21.000 Talk about what you're getting into.

00:29:22.000 You've got to make sure a guy like that doesn't drown. 0.86

00:29:25.000 But I want to tell you this fucking cool thing, which was that, like, you know, I love my parents so much, and they're really incredible people, and I've watched them grow in this way that, like, they're always changing. 0.94

00:29:35.000 And even though they have, like, their beliefs, and my dad has worked his fucking ass off his entire life, you know, and he's a, you know, middle-class business owner, just retired, so he's got this, you know, this view on life. 0.95

00:29:47.000 And then we... 0.81

00:29:48.000 We put him in Colorado, and they caravaned for five shows, and we had lunch with these incredible people, this judge, this lawyer, and these kind of liberal, hippie politicians in Colorado.

00:30:07.000 We were sitting at a table with my parents, and it was so cool to watch them interact with people that they would never hang out with.

00:30:14.000 And then watch them sort of, like, lay back and have, like, just, like, absorb this information that's not something that they wouldn't, that they would have on a regular basis.

00:30:23.000 And so they left, and it was such an interesting, like, I really felt our relationship change a little bit after that.

00:30:30.000 You know, and just watching them let loose.

00:30:32.000 My dad really wanted to smoke weed, but it just never worked up.

00:30:34.000 I don't think he actually wanted to. 0.99

00:30:34.000 No, he did, but he had to drive, and that was responsible, because he would have been fucked up. 0.99

00:30:39.000 Do you think, like, as you've gotten more successful and as you've gotten older, your dad can look at you not just as his daughter, but also as an adult human being where he respects your opinion? 0.96

00:30:49.000 Oh, yeah.

00:30:50.000 Yeah, no, we're very, um...

00:30:53.000 No, we have a really incredible relationship.

00:30:56.000 Wait, what did you say?

00:30:56.000 I said meal ticket.

00:30:57.000 I was joking. 1.00

00:30:58.000 Oh, you're such a dick. 1.00

00:30:59.000 He said it's so subtle. 1.00

00:31:02.000 We're not there yet, though.

00:31:03.000 Well, yeah, we will.

00:31:05.000 Meal ticket.

00:31:06.000 No, I would love to take care of them.

00:31:09.000 What's wrong with that?

00:31:09.000 No, that's beautiful.

00:31:10.000 But I mean, you're a woman now, and you're like a professional singer of the utmost respect. 1.00

00:31:19.000 People love your shit. 0.99

00:31:21.000 So it's like he goes to see you, and he sees her. 1.00

00:31:24.000 He sees his daughter on stage.

00:31:27.000 Wailing out these songs and people going nuts you don't think that must make him think like hold I gotta I gotta Appreciate like what it took to do that I have to appreciate what's happening here like this isn't just my daughter She doesn't just have to listen to me.

00:31:42.000 She's not like I'm not right about everything I can't be right about everything cuz I can't do that no we he's both my mom and my dad are really they Their support is beyond anything I ever could have wanted.

00:31:58.000 I moved to New York City when I was 16 because I used to be a catalog model and I was doing really well. 0.72

00:32:08.000 I was starting my junior year of high school and I was really fucking driven.

00:32:12.000 I had no inhibitions and I was like, I want to go here and I want to go here. 0.63

00:32:16.000 Do you guys think I can do that?

00:32:17.000 And they're like, yeah.

00:32:19.000 And they let me move there when I was 16. And it was fucking crazy. 0.98

00:32:24.000 And it honestly was one of those, I think, kind of pivotal moments where it was their belief in the fact that I could do what I wanted because they were like, I think you have something special, you know, which is like a really incredible feeling to have. 0.97

00:32:40.000 And they were always behind me.

00:32:42.000 And like, yeah, we fight.

00:32:43.000 I mean, my family's really close, so we fight hard.

00:32:46.000 There's a lot of yelling.

00:32:47.000 I grew up with a lot of yelling.

00:32:49.000 She's got your dad high.

00:32:50.000 That's all I'm hearing here.

00:32:51.000 I know, I know. 0.99

00:32:52.000 I'm hearing a lot of fucking memory lane. 0.99

00:32:54.000 I should have got my dad high. 0.99

00:32:56.000 Yeah, oh my God.

00:32:57.000 There's always a future.

00:32:58.000 Yeah, this is going to happen at some point.

00:33:01.000 It's going to have to.

00:33:01.000 And we'll talk all about it.

00:33:02.000 Yeah, you just got to baby fuck them. 1.00

00:33:04.000 What did she just say? 1.00

00:33:05.000 Excuse me?

00:33:06.000 Slow.

00:33:07.000 Baby steps.

00:33:08.000 Can we find another metaphor?

00:33:10.000 It's baby steps.

00:33:12.000 Baby steps.

00:33:13.000 There was another word in there.

00:33:14.000 Yeah.

00:33:14.000 You know what I'm saying, though.

00:33:16.000 It got across.

00:33:18.000 Even though it sounds like an inappropriate statement, but you know what I'm saying.

00:33:22.000 Slow and sure.

00:33:24.000 Slow and sharp.

00:33:25.000 Kind of innocent.

00:33:27.000 Just a little puff.

00:33:29.000 It's going to happen.

00:33:30.000 I know that Ray had a thing with Quaaludes in the 70s.

00:33:36.000 Well, that's a problem too, right? 0.93

00:33:39.000 You start thinking, like, I don't want to be that loser again. 0.99

00:33:42.000 Take you down the tunnel, I'm sure. 0.58

00:33:44.000 Well, you also realize, hey, this doesn't go with success.

00:33:48.000 This doesn't help me get my shit together and not be psychologically terrified most of the day.

00:33:58.000 Looking around for my next fix, Quaaludes. 0.83

00:34:01.000 It's nice to know that they were human, though.

00:34:03.000 Like, my mom used to smoke weed. 1.00

00:34:04.000 My dad used to, you know, smoke weed.

00:34:06.000 Well, Ben, we're going to do this.

00:34:09.000 Ben, can we get your dad high?

00:34:10.000 I think that's a bad idea.

00:34:14.000 Or it might be amazing.

00:34:15.000 I don't know.

00:34:15.000 My dad's 94. Oh, it'd be perfect.

00:34:18.000 What are you holding back?

00:34:19.000 Cancer?

00:34:19.000 What are you worried about?

00:34:20.000 He's had that.

00:34:21.000 94 is the home stretch.

00:34:24.000 Man, maybe you're right.

00:34:27.000 94 is the home stretch. 0.64

00:34:28.000 He might freak the fuck out.

00:34:30.000 No, but he might ease slowly into the great beyond, too. 1.00

00:34:34.000 Like a gay-year-old man to go from pot to mushrooms. 1.00

00:34:37.000 They say that mushrooms is a significant reliever of the stress of worrying about the expectations of any guy. 0.87

00:34:45.000 I'm so glad you just said it.

00:34:46.000 I've never even thought about it.

00:34:47.000 With him.

00:34:47.000 But he has anxiety.

00:34:49.000 He's freaked out.

00:34:49.000 He's staring at the void, dude.

00:34:50.000 For real.

00:34:51.000 He's seeing his body deteriorate.

00:34:53.000 All these things happen, and I get the anxiety from him.

00:34:56.000 It's a real issue with people, man.

00:34:58.000 You know, when we were kids and we would see what we would call, in quotes, the angry old man, you know? 1.00

00:35:03.000 Get out of my yard, you fucking kids! 1.00

00:35:05.000 And we always thought, like, God, this guy's such a downer. 1.00

00:35:09.000 Everybody has them.

00:35:10.000 Every neighborhood has a guy.

00:35:10.000 The dude in my neighborhood poisoned the cats.

00:35:13.000 He was an evil motherfucker. 1.00

00:35:15.000 Yeah, he put rat poison and killed a bunch of cats. 1.00

00:35:18.000 I forgot his name.

00:35:19.000 He's long gone, though.

00:35:21.000 Of course.

00:35:22.000 Of course.

00:35:23.000 Yeah.

00:35:24.000 Every neighborhood has, like, old people that are angry. 1.00

00:35:27.000 And one of the things they're angry at is, like, the vitality of their vessel is eroding before their eyes.

00:35:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:35.000 And you just get caught up in this shit. 1.00

00:35:37.000 And that's when you meet old people that hate young people. 1.00

00:35:41.000 Yeah.

00:35:42.000 You know, that was Elizabeth Bathory, I think it was.

00:35:45.000 Is that her name?

00:35:45.000 I don't know.

00:35:46.000 One of the most evil women of all time. 1.00

00:35:48.000 She was a royal...

00:35:50.000 Let me pull up a story. 0.94

00:35:51.000 Is this in New Orleans or is it a crazy chick in New Orleans? 1.00

00:35:54.000 That was a long time ago.

00:35:55.000 No, it was in, like, I want to say Hungary.

00:35:59.000 But she's, like, one of the most famous serial killers of all time. 1.00

00:36:04.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:36:04.000 And what she started doing after she started getting older, she started killing all these young women that were in the town. 1.00

00:36:13.000 And she would bathe in their blood. 0.87

00:36:17.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:36:18.000 She would torture them.

00:36:19.000 Yeah, it was in the 1500s in Hungary.

00:36:22.000 1560. What was her name?

00:36:25.000 Elizabeth Bathory.

00:36:26.000 Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:36:28.000 She apparently was, like, attractive when she was younger, and as she got older, her appearance faded.

00:36:34.000 That's like Sleeping Beauty, or Snow White, kind of.

00:36:36.000 Yeah, in a way. 0.99

00:36:37.000 I mean, it's a scary fucking story, because she was a royal. 0.99

00:36:41.000 She was a very wealthy royal person. 0.99

00:36:44.000 She could do what she wanted.

00:36:45.000 She could get away with it.

00:36:45.000 Her punishment was just stay in your castle.

00:36:48.000 Yeah, she killed a lot of people. 1.00

00:36:50.000 It might have been hundreds of women or something ridiculous. 1.00

00:36:53.000 Oh yeah, it was hundreds. 0.98

00:36:54.000 And they just made her stay in her castle.

00:36:56.000 That was it.

00:36:57.000 That was the punishment.

00:36:58.000 I think she had a special room that she had to stay in.

00:37:00.000 In her castle.

00:37:01.000 So it's kind of jail, I guess.

00:37:05.000 But, I mean, she still had her money. 0.98

00:37:06.000 She still had her servants. 0.93

00:37:07.000 Well, isn't that interesting?

00:37:08.000 Like, that's kind of how it is now, just in a very different way.

00:37:12.000 Like, people that are on top can get away with so much. 0.99

00:37:16.000 Like, this fucking... 0.99

00:37:17.000 Have you seen the Robert Durst stuff on HBO? Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I know about it. 0.99

00:37:23.000 He's gotten...

00:37:25.000 Pretty far, one would say. 0.99

00:37:27.000 And now he's kind of fucked himself and it's looking like, hopefully, fingers crossed, you know, he'll... 0.99

00:37:32.000 Yeah, he's going to go to jail, right? 1.00

00:37:33.000 He's in jail.

00:37:34.000 Well, he's going to... 1.00

00:37:35.000 He should be dead. 1.00

00:37:37.000 He will be. 1.00

00:37:38.000 He will be soon.

00:37:39.000 So apparently I was incorrect.

00:37:41.000 She, at the end of her life, they put her in solitary confinement.

00:37:45.000 So she was in a castle.

00:37:47.000 Yeah.

00:37:48.000 But she was placed in solitary.

00:37:49.000 She was kept bricked into a set of rooms with only small slits left open for ventilation and the passing of food.

00:37:57.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:37:57.000 She remained there for four years until her death.

00:38:00.000 So she was psychotic anyway, and then they put her in a black room. 0.98

00:38:04.000 She was a rich monster. 1.00

00:38:05.000 That's what she was. 1.00

00:38:06.000 She was a privileged, rich monster. 1.00

00:38:09.000 And at the end, she was such a monster. 0.96

00:38:10.000 When they found what she had done, they found the bones of these hundreds of women, and they knew that she had been doing it forever, and the servants knew, and she'd bring girls in, and they would be screaming, and she would cut them up in front of everybody and tie them up and, like, fill tubs with their blood and throw their bodies aside. 0.95

00:38:26.000 That's disgusting. 0.99

00:38:26.000 But she did it for a long fucking time. 0.99

00:38:29.000 There was a woman in New Orleans, too. 0.99

00:38:31.000 A famous woman in New Orleans is a house you can go to. 0.98

00:38:34.000 She was just a member of the aristocracy.

00:38:36.000 Wait, was that on American Horror Story?

00:38:38.000 I don't know.

00:38:38.000 But it's just like a famous story.

00:38:40.000 God, it's so scary.

00:38:41.000 We're going to be in New Orleans soon.

00:38:42.000 You want to go?

00:38:43.000 No, me either.

00:38:44.000 No, I don't.

00:38:46.000 Not interested in that.

00:38:47.000 It's just so scary.

00:38:49.000 It's so scary where people can get to if they have a position of ultimate power, if they have a slave, if they have royalty.

00:38:59.000 You've seen what's going on in Los Angeles with all these guys from the Middle East that keep doing crazy things and they're getting arrested and they're claiming diplomatic immunity. 0.97

00:39:07.000 Like that's Lethal Weapon, bringing it back to Lethal Weapon.

00:39:09.000 Sorry, but that was like a big part of that movie.

00:39:11.000 Was that like the South American African guy?

00:39:14.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:39:16.000 Where did you get that from?

00:39:18.000 Where are you pulling these details from?

00:39:21.000 Love that movie.

00:39:22.000 There's been a bunch of them lately.

00:39:23.000 One guy was, the two guys fled the country because they were racing through Beverly Hills.

00:39:29.000 Oh, I did hear about that.

00:39:29.000 And they tried to claim diplomatic immunity, and they just...

00:39:33.000 Fucking douchebags. 1.00

00:39:34.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:39:34.000 From Qatari, Q-A-T-R-I, whatever the fuck that is. 1.00

00:39:38.000 One of those. 0.99

00:39:39.000 Strange.

00:39:40.000 Probably not even, you know, they don't even use the English language.

00:39:43.000 So, like, their letters are different than our letters. 0.93

00:39:45.000 So, when we write something, like, really awful, like Q-T-A-R-I or something like that, that's our fuck-up.

00:39:52.000 It's not... 0.97

00:39:53.000 They don't even use our, like, why do we make it so, you know, why does it have to be such a weird fucking spelling? 0.73

00:39:59.000 It's the tools we got. 0.69

00:39:59.000 But that's wrong. 0.69

00:40:01.000 Say it, like, what does it sound like, bitch? 1.00

00:40:03.000 Write it like that. 0.99

00:40:06.000 Why is it so hard?

00:40:08.000 Tell me what it sounds like.

00:40:10.000 I'll write it in my own language.

00:40:11.000 We need some new letters.

00:40:12.000 We're fine.

00:40:13.000 We just gotta stop talking to people that use phlegm.

00:40:16.000 Oh, man. 0.98

00:40:18.000 You're talking to a Jew, brother. 1.00

00:40:22.000 Do something, man.

00:40:24.000 I don't know.

00:40:24.000 He's not listening to me.

00:40:25.000 I lost him.

00:40:26.000 I lost him.

00:40:27.000 Gone on some sort of rant.

00:40:29.000 That was back when people worked on farms a lot.

00:40:31.000 You know you actually just said a lot of things, right?

00:40:32.000 They had a lot of milk.

00:40:33.000 You said some really beautiful things right there.

00:40:35.000 They ate a lot of cheese.

00:40:37.000 It was a big part of their diet.

00:40:38.000 There was a lot of phlegm in the air back then.

00:40:40.000 Sure, sure.

00:40:40.000 People were super phlegmy.

00:40:42.000 It goes back to what we were talking about before.

00:40:44.000 Human voice. 1.00

00:40:45.000 That can do some crazy shit. 1.00

00:40:47.000 You can do some crazy shit with this. 1.00

00:40:48.000 Have you seen there's a video of a girl who can sing two pitches at the same time? 1.00

00:40:52.000 Yeah, it's fucked up. 0.99

00:40:52.000 What? 0.99

00:40:53.000 Yeah, and she can move them in opposite directions. 1.00

00:40:55.000 She can hold one, move another one.

00:40:57.000 Like, she's just using her body. 0.98

00:40:58.000 I'll look it up.

00:40:59.000 How is she?

00:40:59.000 Well, Jamie will do it.

00:41:00.000 I'll pull it up.

00:41:01.000 Put your headset on.

00:41:02.000 There's a word for it.

00:41:03.000 He'll find it.

00:41:04.000 Totally.

00:41:05.000 Well, there's Tuvan throat singing in Mongolia where they're activating all these overtones.

00:41:09.000 It's crazy.

00:41:10.000 And people are literally singing chords.

00:41:12.000 No, but the woman you're talking about, there's a specific word for it. 0.71

00:41:15.000 Is it like tonal or something?

00:41:16.000 Polyphonic overtone?

00:41:17.000 Thank you.

00:41:18.000 Wait, Samsonite.

00:41:21.000 Singing, but more than one?

00:41:25.000 Wow.

00:41:26.000 I'm trying guys, doing my best here.

00:41:27.000 So do you think that this is something that she was born with, this ability?

00:41:31.000 Well, we can all do it.

00:41:33.000 We could do it.

00:41:34.000 We all have the equipment.

00:41:34.000 It's like perfect pitch.

00:41:35.000 You know what perfect pitch is?

00:41:37.000 No.

00:41:38.000 So perfect pitch is the ability to just recognize frequencies as per the musical alphabet.

00:41:43.000 So if I went like this...

00:41:44.000 B flat.

00:41:44.000 You would know, oh, that's a G, because I know the sound of that frequency.

00:41:48.000 And we're all born with this.

00:41:50.000 But for the most part, it's not really useful, so we just kind of phase it out.

00:41:54.000 Right.

00:41:55.000 But some people develop it, or for some weird kind of developmental reason, they hold on to it.

00:41:59.000 And if you're a musician, super, can be super helpful.

00:42:02.000 But this chick, she's just doing what we can all do, but she's just developed it. 0.69

00:42:07.000 Let's hear it.

00:42:09.000 The lady and the cat, yes!

00:42:13.000 She's kind of a babe, too.

00:42:19.000 That's so crazy.

00:42:24.000 You hear those pitches?

00:42:27.000 It's incredible. 1.00

00:42:29.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:42:32.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:42:39.000 It's amazing.

00:42:40.000 It goes on for minutes.

00:42:41.000 See, the control she has is incredible. 0.99

00:42:44.000 Oh my gosh, she has an English accent?

00:42:46.000 It's not English. 0.91

00:42:48.000 In my mind, it's perfect.

00:42:54.000 Wow.

00:43:08.000 So is this something that she developed?

00:43:10.000 Yeah.

00:43:12.000 Huh.

00:43:13.000 You can do it, Joe.

00:43:15.000 I believe in you.

00:43:15.000 I don't believe in me.

00:43:17.000 Interesting.

00:43:18.000 Isn't it beautiful?

00:43:20.000 Support takes us so far.

00:43:22.000 Yeah, I just, that's insane.

00:43:25.000 Yeah.

00:43:25.000 Have you heard Tubin throat singing?

00:43:27.000 No.

00:43:28.000 It's a Mongolian thing. 0.63

00:43:29.000 It's a super traditional thing.

00:43:30.000 Here's the thing, though.

00:43:31.000 Right now it's a novelty because that doesn't sound as good as someone singing awesome. 0.93

00:43:37.000 So it's kind of silly.

00:43:38.000 No, no, I can sort of agree. 0.67

00:43:41.000 That was more like the introductory.

00:43:43.000 That would be like you being like, this is how you sweep the knee.

00:43:47.000 I don't really know the terminology.

00:43:49.000 Sweep the knee.

00:43:51.000 I'm sorry, Joe.

00:43:52.000 Joe, look, our friendship is on a different level, but at some point I really hope you can teach me the martial arts ways.

00:44:00.000 Would you teach us?

00:44:01.000 Can you actually?

00:44:02.000 Sure.

00:44:03.000 Yeah, I would show you guys some stuff.

00:44:04.000 I don't have the time to spend to really train you.

00:44:07.000 But no, this is why I'm going to say this.

00:44:10.000 Because if you really want to learn martial arts, martial arts is not something that you're ever going to get good by dabbling.

00:44:17.000 You're going to have to get obsessed with it.

00:44:19.000 Well, that's fine.

00:44:19.000 And then you're going to have to do it all the time.

00:44:20.000 And I don't have the time to teach you all the time.

00:44:22.000 I'm good at obsessing over things.

00:44:23.000 We'll find others, dude.

00:44:23.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:44:25.000 But what I would do is I would introduce you guys to some movement and some techniques.

00:44:30.000 Great.

00:44:31.000 And I would show you what your body's possible of if you understood where to put it.

00:44:35.000 And simple stuff.

00:44:36.000 There's simple stuff that you can do, especially jujitsu.

00:44:39.000 Jujitsu is one of the easiest ones for me to explain to someone because I can explain to you in a way that I get my kids to do it.

00:44:47.000 Like, my kids choke me all the time.

00:44:49.000 Trying to teach my kids to utilize their hips properly, to throw their weight into a kick, like there's a snap with your hip. 1.00

00:44:59.000 That shit's dance, dude. 1.00

00:45:00.000 I do know that. 1.00

00:45:00.000 It's amazing. 1.00

00:45:01.000 In a way.

00:45:02.000 It totally is.

00:45:03.000 And that's why you give me the poem face.

00:45:05.000 Well, it is in a way.

00:45:07.000 It is in a way in the same way that we were talking about pool is in a way.

00:45:12.000 It's just movement.

00:45:13.000 We'll call it that.

00:45:14.000 Well, when it's nice, right?

00:45:16.000 When it's nice.

00:45:16.000 When it's nice to look at.

00:45:18.000 Yeah.

00:45:18.000 Like when someone's dancing, it's nice to look at.

00:45:20.000 It's beautiful.

00:45:20.000 When I think about guitar, that's a huge reason why I want to take martial arts is because of how it would impact playing the guitar, playing an instrument, doing anything.

00:45:29.000 Yeah.

00:45:29.000 Because all of a sudden your efficiency, your movement changes and you're capable of different stuff.

00:45:34.000 Yeah.

00:45:34.000 I think everything is like that.

00:45:37.000 I think if you watch like a little kid's gymnastics class, I take my kids to gymnastics and I watch these little kids bounce around and it's very interesting watching like someone nail something.

00:45:50.000 You know, like there's these girls that are older, you know, probably like 12 or 13 or something along those lines, and they're like just starting to figure out how to do backflips, and they're just starting to figure out how to land gracefully.

00:46:02.000 And then there's girls that are even older than that, like maybe 16 and 17, that are just wicked.

00:46:07.000 You watch them flip through the air, and you're like, Jesus! 1.00

00:46:10.000 Fuck! 0.99

00:46:10.000 And there's some young boys that do these crazy ring exercises where they can stretch their arms straight. 0.99

00:46:18.000 And they bring their feet up above their head and they flip over and they do a handstand.

00:46:23.000 I mean, it's nuts, right?

00:46:24.000 There's something about watching someone nail movement, you know?

00:46:30.000 It's just like, It's inspiring.

00:46:31.000 Yeah, it's guitar, someone shredding, it's someone doing a drum solo.

00:46:37.000 And it impacts everything.

00:46:38.000 So I love to play drums.

00:46:40.000 And I've played a lot when I was a kid, less now, but basically I've narrowed my practice down to one thing.

00:46:46.000 One thing, and I feel pretty fine about it.

00:46:48.000 You know, I feel like with that one kind of concept, I can get where I want to go, which is have any of my limbs do what any of my other limbs can do.

00:46:55.000 You know what I mean?

00:46:56.000 If my left hand can do it, my right foot has to be able to do it, my left foot can do it, vice versa.

00:47:00.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:47:02.000 It has to not matter.

00:47:03.000 You have to be able to make the sound you want to make.

00:47:05.000 Nice.

00:47:06.000 And when I was doing that, I would notice myself.

00:47:09.000 All of a sudden, I'd be eating with my left hand.

00:47:11.000 You know what I mean?

00:47:12.000 I wouldn't even think about it.

00:47:13.000 I started shooting basketballs with my left hand.

00:47:15.000 I didn't even know.

00:47:16.000 Were you making the shot? 1.00

00:47:17.000 Yeah, do you have this fucking... 0.99

00:47:18.000 No, I mean, I'd miss the shot horribly. 0.99

00:47:21.000 You know, I think of drums as a person who doesn't know how to play any musical instruments.

00:47:27.000 I think of drums as sculpture.

00:47:30.000 This is what I think.

00:47:32.000 When I watch a heavy-duty drum solo, I think half of what this guy has to do is get away from whatever restrictions his body has on his movements.

00:47:46.000 Like, half of what a drummer is doing, it's so physical.

00:47:50.000 There's so much speed and coordination involved that half of what you're doing is heightening your ability to move in, like, the exact way you want it to move to create a certain sound.

00:48:02.000 And a guy like me, I can't do it.

00:48:04.000 You know, if I brought that...

00:48:06.000 I mean, I could eventually, I'm sure, learn how to play drums, but I'm saying, like, if I brought someone into my world and made them do something that I do physically all the time, like...

00:48:14.000 Like an odd thing, like play pool or something like that.

00:48:16.000 If they didn't know how to play pool, it would be real awkward and goofy, and their body wouldn't move right. 0.98

00:48:21.000 But if they know where the fucking stick is going, Even though I don't know how to do it. 0.99

00:48:28.000 Like, I see this... 0.99

00:48:29.000 It's half of what he's doing is trying to cut down on the amount of resistance in his body listening to his mind to make the sound.

00:48:38.000 It's the same thing with any instruments.

00:48:40.000 A guitar, a violin, or whatever.

00:48:41.000 It's just on a micro level.

00:48:42.000 You know what I mean?

00:48:42.000 It's just more contained.

00:48:43.000 And that's why I think martial arts, dude, once we do that, we'll fucking take over the world. 0.58

00:48:47.000 Can you come on the road with us? 0.96

00:48:48.000 Yeah, and we'll give you jump lessons. 0.88

00:48:49.000 That'd be hard to do, but we could do more shows like we're doing New Year's Eve! 0.98

00:48:52.000 Whoa, damn! 1.00

00:48:54.000 That's how we plug around this, bitch. 1.00

00:48:56.000 If you guys want to go to that show, there is not many tickets left. 0.98

00:48:59.000 I'll just tell you right now, it's not even October, what is it, September 28th or something today?

00:49:06.000 What is it today?

00:49:07.000 Yeah.

00:49:07.000 28th.

00:49:08.000 But it's a crazy show.

00:49:10.000 It's Honey Honey, it's Joey Diaz, Duncan Trussell, Ari Shafir, and me at the Wiltern in Los Angeles.

00:49:18.000 Guys, bring it in 2016. We're ready.

00:49:21.000 We were here for the end of the world that didn't happen.

00:49:23.000 I think maybe because of us.

00:49:25.000 Good work, Joe.

00:49:27.000 I think the show with you, me, and Stan Hope, and Diaz might have been so epic.

00:49:29.000 It was some valiant efforts.

00:49:30.000 You said this podcast is changing things. 0.99

00:49:32.000 I think the universe said, let's give these dumb monkeys a chance. 1.00

00:49:36.000 They pulled together a pretty dope end of the mind calendar show. 0.98

00:49:41.000 But it was so fun, and we said, ah, we gotta do more of those. 0.98

00:49:44.000 We fucking never did. 0.66

00:49:45.000 We're doing it, dude. 0.99

00:49:46.000 We didn't for three years.

00:49:49.000 This is three years from the last one we did.

00:49:50.000 It's nice to have something to wait for. 0.99

00:49:51.000 Shit's been simmering. 0.99

00:49:53.000 Yeah, that marinara's gonna be ripe. 0.99

00:49:55.000 Yeah, no wine before it's time.

00:49:58.000 Remember Orson Welles?

00:49:59.000 He used to do those commercials.

00:50:01.000 I don't remember that.

00:50:02.000 But I remember no women before the fight, Rocky. 0.90

00:50:05.000 The legs, the legs.

00:50:06.000 Oh, yeah.

00:50:07.000 But you probably saw that on YouTube.

00:50:08.000 I saw it in the movie theater back when there was no newspapers. 0.99

00:50:11.000 Back when people were sending messages on pigeons and shit. 0.99

00:50:14.000 What? 0.99

00:50:15.000 They had smoke signals if something was wrong.

00:50:18.000 That's when I saw it.

00:50:19.000 That's amazing.

00:50:21.000 Lots changed.

00:50:21.000 What were you saying that you saw on YouTube?

00:50:23.000 You were talking about something that you'd seen on YouTube.

00:50:26.000 Spaulding Gray.

00:50:27.000 Yeah, Spaulding Gray.

00:50:27.000 See, I saw that guy on television, actual television, and I think he did movies.

00:50:33.000 He did.

00:50:34.000 He did some short films, too, and great.

00:50:36.000 I think he did movies of his storytelling.

00:50:39.000 That's what he brought, Jonathan Demme.

00:50:41.000 Shot this Swimming in Cambodia thing, which is a film.

00:50:44.000 That's right.

00:50:45.000 So it was in the movie theaters.

00:50:46.000 In my mind, for whatever reason, it was on HBO or something like that.

00:50:50.000 But I guess that's not entirely correct.

00:50:52.000 I think it actually was a movie theater.

00:50:55.000 I was trying to...

00:50:57.000 Yeah, I really was.

00:50:59.000 The cubes.

00:51:00.000 Refill, guys.

00:51:01.000 I don't know.

00:51:02.000 Yeah, I think it's about time for round two.

00:51:04.000 Let's do that.

00:51:04.000 You know, we were talking about old people earlier, and it's interesting because, speaking of alcohol, there's so many things.

00:51:12.000 Oh, Joe, you never put the glass in the ice.

00:51:14.000 Bartending rule. 0.95

00:51:16.000 Hey, it's your bowels. 0.79

00:51:19.000 If the glass breaks, you'd get new ice.

00:51:22.000 He's got a solution, but say when.

00:51:24.000 Say when.

00:51:25.000 Oh, that's good.

00:51:25.000 Thank you.

00:51:26.000 So many lessons.

00:51:28.000 There are solutions out there, folks. 1.00

00:51:29.000 I think about old people a lot when I get, like, you wake up and you have a stiff neck and you're like, fuck. 0.99

00:51:35.000 And you're miserable and you're like crotchety because your neck hurts or your shoulder or whatever from the van or whatever we're doing on tour. 0.99

00:51:43.000 And then I'm like, this must be what it's like to be old.

00:51:46.000 No, except like a hundred times worse.

00:51:48.000 A hundred times worse.

00:51:49.000 Like you have ailments all day.

00:51:51.000 You might not have pooped for four days.

00:51:53.000 You know what blows my mind?

00:51:55.000 It's the balance thing.

00:51:57.000 So my dad has neuropathy.

00:51:58.000 So that means he's losing the feeling of his feet.

00:52:00.000 That's before we get into that.

00:52:02.000 Are you having another drink?

00:52:03.000 I was going to say that weed.

00:52:05.000 Oh no.

00:52:07.000 Ben's going deep.

00:52:08.000 It's going to be bad.

00:52:09.000 Weed is like cocaine for Ben.

00:52:12.000 And cocaine is like cocaine for me.

00:52:16.000 Here's a fun fact.

00:52:17.000 Can I tell you guys something funny?

00:52:19.000 While Ben pours himself a drink, Ben, pour your drink.

00:52:23.000 You want to cheers with that?

00:52:23.000 You don't have any booze in there, dude.

00:52:25.000 Ben, you're making everybody look terrible.

00:52:29.000 Don't be scared.

00:52:30.000 You're totally being peer pressured.

00:52:32.000 But it's working.

00:52:34.000 I know.

00:52:35.000 You and that gal travel together. 0.97

00:52:37.000 You gotta find a comfortable medium.

00:52:39.000 No, but who do you think is driving?

00:52:41.000 Great.

00:52:42.000 You're not kidding.

00:52:43.000 Listen, we have time.

00:52:45.000 There's plenty of places to eat around here.

00:52:46.000 Hey, cheers, guys.

00:52:47.000 We'll work this off.

00:52:48.000 It's great to be here.

00:52:49.000 Yeah, please.

00:52:49.000 Great to have you guys.

00:52:52.000 Salute.

00:52:54.000 It's one way back to my dad's health problems.

00:52:57.000 Back to old people that are about to kick off into the next dimension. 1.00

00:53:01.000 Did you hear about those fucking people that they were on that ghost hunter show? 1.00

00:53:05.000 They died. 1.00

00:53:06.000 A murder-suicide.

00:53:08.000 What?

00:53:08.000 The husband killed the wife and killed himself apparently or allegedly.

00:53:12.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:53:12.000 In real life?

00:53:13.000 In real life.

00:53:13.000 They were on a ghost hunting reality show?

00:53:15.000 One of those ghost hunting reality shows.

00:53:17.000 Yeah.

00:53:17.000 Oh, God.

00:53:18.000 And there was like a standoff.

00:53:20.000 You know, apparently there had been like some physical violence, domestic violence issues between them before.

00:53:27.000 Working partnerships.

00:53:28.000 And I think the girl was trying to get away from the guy, allegedly. 0.98

00:53:32.000 I really shouldn't talk about this because the amount of information I had about the actual, the actual, you know, physical case that the murder-suicide is very small.

00:53:42.000 But because I think they're still investigating it, right?

00:53:44.000 You know the story, right?

00:53:45.000 You posted about this, didn't you?

00:53:46.000 Really, really, really recently.

00:53:47.000 A couple days ago.

00:53:48.000 Yeah.

00:53:48.000 Oh my god.

00:53:49.000 Yeah, terrifying.

00:53:50.000 But I mean, how crazy is that?

00:53:51.000 These people, you think about what a ghost hunter is. 0.99

00:53:54.000 At the end of the day, besides a bullshit artist, what a ghost hunter... 0.97

00:53:57.000 At the end of the day, what a ghost hunter is, is a historian of tragedy. 0.99

00:54:04.000 Wow.

00:54:04.000 That's very poetic.

00:54:05.000 Because you're always involved in some story where there was a mass murder.

00:54:11.000 Do you believe in ghosts?

00:54:11.000 I don't believe in ghosts.

00:54:12.000 I got some crazy stories, man.

00:54:14.000 I don't believe in ghosts, but I don't not believe in ghosts.

00:54:15.000 But the idea what a ghost is, a ghost hunter is, right?

00:54:19.000 If you're a person who's going to a psych ward, okay, and you're waiting in the basement for ghosts, you go into a place where people have been murdered. 0.97

00:54:25.000 Yeah, there's some fucked up energy there. 0.97

00:54:26.000 Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.95

00:54:27.000 But you're also...

00:54:30.000 Constantly concentrating on murder.

00:54:32.000 Yeah, that's insane.

00:54:34.000 Constantly.

00:54:34.000 Like, for that...

00:54:36.000 And the tension involved in the expectation of a TV show.

00:54:40.000 Dude, if it's not entertaining, we're going to lose our job.

00:54:43.000 None of them are entertaining, so that's not valid.

00:54:46.000 They're non-entertaining shows.

00:54:47.000 Here's every Ghost Hunter show that's ever been.

00:54:49.000 Night Vision in the basement.

00:54:51.000 What was that sound?

00:54:51.000 Did you hear that?

00:54:52.000 Cut to commercial. 1.00

00:54:53.000 That's every fucking tune. 1.00

00:54:55.000 That's every one of them. 0.99

00:54:56.000 I don't know if we were speaking about frequencies earlier, but I think we were.

00:54:59.000 Maybe the singing thing.

00:55:00.000 But there's a theory this dude had that low frequency sound, like crazy low, below 40 hertz, which is just like military experience.

00:55:08.000 Experimented with like dog sounds with this is below that yeah, they were saying buildings that produce this kind of Frequency machinery that does this there's a correlation between Haunted houses and these places because this kind of frequency can induce hallucination and people can do some really erratic behavior.

00:55:25.000 It's crazy There's like there's like love frequency.

00:55:28.000 There's there's the what frequency did hitler?

00:55:32.000 There's like the 440 what is it vegetarian?

00:55:37.000 That was what Hitler was, right? 0.97

00:55:39.000 Vegetarian?

00:55:40.000 Sure.

00:55:41.000 He was.

00:55:42.000 Was he really?

00:55:42.000 Oh, yeah.

00:55:43.000 Damn. 1.00

00:55:44.000 He was also an artist, and he had mommy issues. 1.00

00:55:47.000 Poor guy.

00:55:48.000 You feel like if you got to him early in life, you could have prevented a lot?

00:55:52.000 I think he...

00:55:53.000 Have you met him when you guys were both 20?

00:55:55.000 Bro.

00:55:55.000 We would have sang him Angel of Death, and he would have been like, you know what?

00:55:59.000 I feel differently about the things I was thinking about earlier.

00:56:02.000 Maybe whatcha gonna do now?

00:56:05.000 That would be a good one for Hitler. 1.00

00:56:06.000 You love that song, man.

00:56:08.000 Thank you.

00:56:08.000 I love that song.

00:56:08.000 I love you guys.

00:56:10.000 It's cool to be friends with someone that you're fans of.

00:56:13.000 It's bizarre, you know?

00:56:15.000 Right back at you, buddy.

00:56:16.000 It's bizarre, you know?

00:56:18.000 It's just...

00:56:19.000 We thought about you a lot when we were in Montana.

00:56:22.000 We were in Montana for about two weeks.

00:56:24.000 Looking for Bigfoot?

00:56:25.000 Well, naturally.

00:56:26.000 Is that cocaine?

00:56:27.000 Yeah.

00:56:29.000 It was so beautiful, but wilderness is everywhere, and everybody's like, if you go up here, you got to be careful.

00:56:37.000 We were in Wyoming, we were in Yellowstone, and we heard so many stories, so many bear stories and things that really freaked me out because I don't have anything to defend myself.

00:56:48.000 I would like to go into nature.

00:56:50.000 You got your width, girl.

00:56:51.000 Yeah.

00:56:51.000 Well, you're right, though, about being cautious about nature.

00:56:54.000 For the most part, the reality about animals, for the vast majority of instances, animals don't want to have anything to do with people. 0.98

00:57:02.000 They want to get the fuck away from you, if at all possible.

00:57:05.000 Well, that's not true, but when we were in Yellowstone, so I heard all these stories about people, like, you know, people get killed by grizzlies a few times a year, and we were in Yellowstone, and literally a week later, There was a hiker that got nabbed by a grizzly bear. 0.94

00:57:16.000 It's just bad timing.

00:57:18.000 And I never, ever want to put myself in that position.

00:57:22.000 I'll go camping here.

00:57:24.000 That's fine.

00:57:25.000 I'll go camping in Lake Joshua Tree.

00:57:28.000 It's bad timing in a way, but it is also a lack of an understanding of the environment for the most part with a lot of them.

00:57:35.000 Sure.

00:57:35.000 But although one of the guys that got killed recently was a very experienced hiker, so I might have to take that back.

00:57:41.000 You could fuck up and zig when you should have zagged, and the biggest fear is running into a mother. 0.99

00:57:46.000 Sure. 1.00

00:57:47.000 A mother bear with her cubs.

00:57:48.000 Well, that's what I'm talking about.

00:57:49.000 Like, I can appreciate nature in a way that is... 0.90

00:57:53.000 It's so fucking beautiful, and like... 0.51

00:57:56.000 We drove through the park and it was incredible. 0.95

00:57:58.000 But I don't feel like I need to sleep there.

00:58:02.000 I can walk along the river by the car and I feel fine. 0.98

00:58:06.000 And I know I might sound like a total fucking chach right now. 0.97

00:58:09.000 But the thought of being torn apart by an animal is utterly terrifying to me. 0.98

00:58:15.000 It's a very intelligent approach.

00:58:16.000 But there's a beautiful thing, I think, about being in that environment and experiencing that kind of caution and fear, too. 0.98

00:58:23.000 You're like, holy fuck, I'm a little bit more connected now. 0.96

00:58:25.000 Because, yeah, I do actually have to be wary of something threatening to me as opposed to just emotionally. 0.99

00:58:30.000 You know what, though?

00:58:30.000 I swear when you're there, that's not what you're thinking about.

00:58:33.000 Well, that's what I'm saying.

00:58:34.000 We thought about you.

00:58:35.000 The instances are so small.

00:58:37.000 And the reality of the beauty of it all, which is what the vast majority of the experience is beautiful.

00:58:43.000 The vast, vast, vast, vast, vast majority.

00:58:46.000 The times that I've encountered bears in the wild, bears don't want to have nothing to do with people.

00:58:51.000 Have you seen grizzlies and stuff?

00:58:53.000 No, I have not seen grizzlies.

00:58:54.000 That's the ones I'm talking about.

00:58:55.000 Those are the ones that you have to be the most worried, but you've just got to be prepared.

00:58:59.000 If you bring guns, you always have to be prepared.

00:59:02.000 But you can shoot a grizzly and it'll still eat you.

00:59:05.000 You have to shoot a grizzly with the right kind of gun, and you have to have more than one person, and you have to be ready in case that happens. 1.00

00:59:11.000 But most of the time, you don't shoot them. 1.00

00:59:13.000 You shoot at the ground, and you scare them off, and they're like, fuck this, and they just get out of there. 0.99

00:59:18.000 You can enter into the natural world In most situations, and get out without having to do anything where something dies where it didn't have to die. 0.99

00:59:29.000 But there are occasions where, like, I knew a guy who went hunting in Alaska, and they got charged by a grizzly bear and wound up having to kill the grizzly bear.

00:59:41.000 The grizzly bear tried to get their kill.

00:59:43.000 It was actually a mother.

00:59:45.000 They just didn't want to have anything to do with her.

00:59:48.000 But she just decided she was going to make a rush at them.

00:59:50.000 And I've seen it on video, too.

00:59:52.000 I've seen them making rushes at people.

00:59:54.000 You're going out to kill something in the wilderness, right?

00:59:57.000 You've got to pick where you go, honestly.

00:59:59.000 That's what I'm talking about.

01:00:00.000 It's super dangerous to go where grizzlies are.

01:00:02.000 That's exactly what I'm talking about.

01:00:04.000 Glacier National Park.

01:00:06.000 They used to have that show on, I don't know, Discovery Channel or whatever, it was called The Hunt.

01:00:11.000 It was one where the guy from Metallica, James Hatfield from Metallica is apparently a big time hunter, and he's hunted all over the world, or at least a bunch of different species.

01:00:22.000 There's all these photos of him.

01:00:23.000 And he hosted this show where they were hunting for grizzly bears.

01:00:28.000 It was a really controversial show.

01:00:30.000 Because you don't really eat grizzly bears.

01:00:32.000 I mean, you can, but they do not.

01:00:34.000 They're not endangered, but they're not doing great.

01:00:36.000 You know, they're not, like, flourishing.

01:00:38.000 Sort of. 0.76

01:00:39.000 They know how many they should kill, and they know how many they can kill.

01:00:44.000 They have, like, this estimation of wildlife biologists.

01:00:47.000 It's about to be off, man.

01:00:48.000 Just loosen it up.

01:00:49.000 Take his pants up. 0.96

01:00:50.000 Ben was taking his pants off.

01:00:52.000 I thought we were in the Eagles talking about grizzlies.

01:00:53.000 I knew it.

01:00:54.000 I thought we were safe here. 0.99

01:00:55.000 But for the most part, they don't fuck with people. 0.99

01:00:57.000 For the most part, they don't want to have anything to do with you. 0.99

01:00:59.000 For the most part, they'd rather get away.

01:01:01.000 They don't want to get shot.

01:01:02.000 They just want to stay away from people.

01:01:03.000 Well, so when we were up there, you know, we're like hanging with the locals.

01:01:07.000 And of course, like, I'm not from those areas, so I have all these questions about what's it like out there in nature.

01:01:12.000 You know, you live in Montana, and, you know, we met this guy who was just...

01:01:17.000 And maybe he was being dramatic, but he was telling me all these...

01:01:20.000 Horrifying stories where I'm like, why would anyone want to put themselves in that position?

01:01:25.000 And I think it's a matter of, like you said, being fully aware of the environment, having that preparation.

01:01:33.000 I think it's also the stories people tell, honestly.

01:01:36.000 Like you're in that area and there's like a whole culture of bare fear and things like that, at least in certain But that's what we talk about.

01:01:46.000 We talk about this one guy who got killed in Yellowstone.

01:01:49.000 I don't think it's the kind of threat.

01:01:50.000 I don't know why I'm reacting so strongly to it right now, but I feel like it's not the kind of threat.

01:01:55.000 It's because you smoke the cocaine weed.

01:01:56.000 It's not the threat right now, right here.

01:01:59.000 When you're living in Los Angeles, the grizzly bear is not the threat.

01:02:02.000 But you're smart to be aware that it's on the table if you're out there.

01:02:07.000 Well, Joe, I love nature.

01:02:09.000 I love to fish.

01:02:10.000 Fishing is one of my greatest passions. 0.88

01:02:12.000 When I have the time to do it, I fucking love it. 0.81

01:02:14.000 I'm learning how to fly fish. 0.95

01:02:15.000 It's really fun.

01:02:16.000 And I have all these goals of these places I want to go to, but they're places that scare me.

01:02:20.000 Like, I don't want to be fishing.

01:02:22.000 Fly fishing for salmon and there's a grizzly bear across the river.

01:02:26.000 That kind of thing is like...

01:02:27.000 And that's fine.

01:02:27.000 I respect that.

01:02:28.000 I will stick with the area that I feel safe in because I don't have a rifle on me.

01:02:33.000 I don't have Joe Rogan with his acute target practice.

01:02:37.000 You know what I mean?

01:02:38.000 So I think about this a lot because...

01:02:40.000 Well, you wouldn't want me, first of all.

01:02:42.000 You'd want someone who would be teaching me.

01:02:45.000 It'd be fun.

01:02:46.000 Whatever, dude.

01:02:46.000 You'd want someone like...

01:02:48.000 Like some of my friends that I've been lucky to be friends with will take me to the woods, like Cameron Haynes or Steve Rinella, the guy who hosts that meat eater show.

01:02:55.000 Oh, awesome!

01:02:56.000 That's great.

01:02:57.000 I didn't know that.

01:02:57.000 Like having friends like that, then that's like, that's the best way to be introduced.

01:03:00.000 Do you think they'd want to go fishing with me and just like hang out?

01:03:02.000 Yeah, they would take you.

01:03:03.000 We've talked about that a bunch of times like we should do shows where we take people for the first time that have never been hunting because it's such a bizarre experience.

01:03:11.000 Even if you don't shoot anything, just being in the woods in Montana makes you go, oh my god.

01:03:16.000 It makes you realize, wow, life is...

01:03:19.000 It's very different than what we've accepted.

01:03:22.000 We've accepted that life is cities, and life is, you know, Whole Foods, and life is...

01:03:28.000 Well, here's the thing.

01:03:29.000 Nature, if you want to talk about, like, going out to nature and life, nature is everywhere.

01:03:33.000 Like, we live in a city, but nature is everywhere. 0.99

01:03:35.000 It's in the fucking middle of your sidewalk, you know? 0.98

01:03:37.000 There are birds, there are crows, there are hawks. 0.99

01:03:40.000 I mean, there's just so many, like, it's everywhere.

01:03:43.000 We live in the middle of it.

01:03:45.000 Coyotes.

01:03:45.000 Mountain lions.

01:03:46.000 Well, we also, it's like we don't see nature a lot, so I think sometimes we look at nature like an old girlfriend that we haven't called in a long time. 1.00

01:03:54.000 We only have this really elevated idea of who she was, and then you get back with her and you realize this bitch doesn't give a fuck about Damn! 1.00

01:04:03.000 It's like that because when you're on the top of a mountain and there's no cell phone service and there's animals creeping around, you're like, this is a fucking dangerous place to be standing still. 0.99

01:04:13.000 Yeah, it doesn't care about you. 0.81

01:04:14.000 Can I say something, though?

01:04:15.000 There's nothing wrong with that. 0.99

01:04:16.000 It doesn't give a fuck. 0.98

01:04:17.000 It's beautiful, but... 0.99

01:04:18.000 I think that that girlfriend is here, though.

01:04:21.000 Like, I think there's this sad misconception with the way that people treat quote-unquote nature when they drive out to a national park as opposed to when they treat their urban setting, which is there is nature here, but people don't think about the fact that they throw their trash out the window and there's ducks in the pond right next,

01:04:38.000 you know, all this stuff.

01:04:39.000 Like, you're still in nature even if you're in a city.

01:04:42.000 You just need to treat it that way.

01:04:45.000 The idea that we would look at the city as not being natural itself.

01:04:48.000 The city not being natural itself is bizarre.

01:04:51.000 It's all bizarre.

01:04:53.000 The throwing of litter on the ground.

01:04:55.000 Like when people wantonly open up their window and throw their garbage out the window on the highway, you're like, what?

01:05:00.000 That guy just throw a bag on the highway. 0.99

01:05:02.000 Oh man, whenever we see that on the road, I just want to fucking... 1.00

01:05:05.000 Yeah, it sucks. 1.00

01:05:06.000 Punch them square in the throat. 1.00

01:05:07.000 It's so bizarre how many people do it. 1.00

01:05:10.000 Well, they'll open up a window and throw a bag out. 0.99

01:05:12.000 Didn't happen.

01:05:13.000 And you're like, what?

01:05:14.000 Yeah.

01:05:14.000 You just threw a garbage, a Wendy's bag.

01:05:17.000 Yeah.

01:05:18.000 People are stupid. 1.00

01:05:19.000 Or just like, but especially like a little piece of paper, you know, like, like some fucking top of something, you know? 1.00

01:05:26.000 Even gum. 0.96

01:05:27.000 You spit your gum out the window.

01:05:28.000 Gum is really bad.

01:05:29.000 Birds eat gum.

01:05:30.000 They think it's like a piece of food and then they die. 1.00

01:05:32.000 First of all, fuck birds. 1.00

01:05:33.000 No! 1.00

01:05:34.000 Listen, Joe.

01:05:35.000 They're on their way out.

01:05:36.000 Joe, you have chickens.

01:05:38.000 You love birds.

01:05:38.000 They're on their way out.

01:05:40.000 You love your farm fresh eggs.

01:05:42.000 Listen, this is why it's really important if you're going to talk to me.

01:05:44.000 You can't take me seriously ever.

01:05:46.000 I don't.

01:05:46.000 It's super important.

01:05:50.000 This is my position. 1.00

01:05:51.000 My position is fuck birds. 1.00

01:05:53.000 I remember when you told me about cats and you were like, cats are awful because they have the thing in there. 1.00

01:05:57.000 They have the parasite.

01:05:58.000 Well, I didn't say it that way.

01:05:59.000 And then you have the cutest cats in the world and you love them so much.

01:06:03.000 I do love them.

01:06:04.000 They're sweeties.

01:06:06.000 That's a cute cat.

01:06:07.000 We just heard a new cat term called making muffins, you know, when they knead.

01:06:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:06:13.000 They're so fucking needy. 0.99

01:06:15.000 Making muffins. 0.99

01:06:15.000 You like that too? 0.99

01:06:16.000 Making muffins. 1.00

01:06:17.000 My cats are fucking needy. 0.99

01:06:18.000 Yeah, I would say it's more like pizza dough. 1.00

01:06:21.000 Okay, that works.

01:06:22.000 It works.

01:06:23.000 Wouldn't you call it pizza dough?

01:06:24.000 Just looking for a reaction.

01:06:26.000 Joey Diaz had the best bit about that, about doing coke with his cat.

01:06:30.000 His cat was doing that paw thing.

01:06:33.000 He had this hilarious bit he used to do about doing coke with his cat.

01:06:37.000 But I'm looking out one window, he's looking out the other one.

01:06:42.000 Cats are kind of freaking out a lot of the time.

01:06:44.000 I think I kind of see that.

01:06:45.000 You know what?

01:06:46.000 They're nature's cleanup crew, man.

01:06:48.000 And the only reason you're alive is because you're way bigger than them.

01:06:51.000 That's it. 1.00

01:06:52.000 If you're smaller than a cat, it would fucking eat you. 1.00

01:06:55.000 You could have a dog and a pet gerbil. 1.00

01:06:59.000 And you could teach that dog to not fuck that gerbil up. 0.99

01:07:04.000 You could teach that dog, hey dude, listen to me, man. 1.00

01:07:06.000 The gerbil, off the menu.

01:07:08.000 And the dog would be like, got it, got it.

01:07:10.000 Don't kill the gerbil.

01:07:11.000 I want it really badly, but it's fine.

01:07:13.000 How do you think dogs are with cats?

01:07:15.000 Like, if dogs grow up with cats, they're totally cool with dogs.

01:07:18.000 I don't know, man.

01:07:18.000 But if they don't grow up with cats...

01:07:21.000 They're fucking dangerous as shit around them. 1.00

01:07:23.000 They'll kill cats all the time, right? 1.00

01:07:25.000 So they make these distinctions.

01:07:26.000 But he's saying cats can't get there.

01:07:27.000 Cats won't make the agreement.

01:07:29.000 Who knows?

01:07:30.000 We don't know.

01:07:31.000 We do know.

01:07:32.000 Try having a pet rat and a cat in the house.

01:07:34.000 Leave. 0.99

01:07:35.000 Watch what happens. 0.99

01:07:36.000 You're going to come home to a death rat.

01:07:38.000 The cat's going to be like, I don't know, man.

01:07:40.000 When did you have a pet rat, Joe, and you did the test with your cats?

01:07:43.000 I want to know.

01:07:44.000 I've never had a pet rat, but I do know that cats, other than a few breeds of super fluffy Persians that get to that weird, non-aggressive state, they're just these weird...

01:07:57.000 They're just bred to cuddle? 0.99

01:07:58.000 Yeah, they're genetic aberrations. 1.00

01:08:01.000 Cats are fucking predators. 1.00

01:08:03.000 They're predators. 1.00

01:08:04.000 It's amazing. 0.95

01:08:05.000 They're ruthless.

01:08:05.000 But, you know, then you see these videos of, like, huge African lions in, like, these reserved areas of, you know, of Africa snuggling with the guys that work there.

01:08:16.000 I've seen it on YouTube.

01:08:18.000 It can happen.

01:08:19.000 If they're fed well, and they're taken care of well, and they're raised well, it's very obvious that there's some guys that know how to make a friendship with a lion.

01:08:30.000 You're starting to look... 0.99

01:08:31.000 Fucking tasty. 1.00

01:08:32.000 Yeah, but it's not that much different than the idea of a wild dog. 0.99

01:08:36.000 Like, there was a few instances, like, I think there was one where a couple was killed in Georgia, I want to say it was like a couple of years ago, by wild dogs.

01:08:45.000 There was a pack of wild dogs that killed these people.

01:08:48.000 Because people had let their dogs loose, and the dogs just never came home, or maybe they didn't feed them, or, and they became feral, or they were raised outside.

01:08:56.000 We've seen that in the South.

01:08:57.000 I read about coyotes attacking someone, a woman in Canada, a singer.

01:09:09.000 We stayed at a winery on Saturday night actually Joe It was a really sweet Rogan fan this this fella that was like you guys need a place to stay after the show and of course we do you know photos of you guys in Naked online now we have never been naked We always keep it on.

01:09:29.000 We're never nudes.

01:09:30.000 Never nudes, man.

01:09:31.000 If you just operate like that, no one has nothing on you.

01:09:33.000 Under my underwear, our jean shorts.

01:09:35.000 No sex, no fun. 1.00

01:09:37.000 Don't talk and you never say the wrong shit. 0.99

01:09:40.000 Trust me, it's the way to go. 0.99

01:09:44.000 Play it safe, guys.

01:09:45.000 No talking, always dressed. 0.99

01:09:48.000 But we all slept in this fucking RV, and it was awesome, but there were like coyotes. 0.99

01:09:54.000 And it was great. 0.99

01:09:55.000 It was amazing.

01:09:56.000 But you can hear, they were right outside.

01:09:57.000 And it was so loud, and they had this incredible like, you know?

01:10:02.000 It's funny, but I thought, honestly, I thought about that story about that singer that you told us about.

01:10:08.000 About the girl that was hiking.

01:10:09.000 It's terrifying.

01:10:10.000 But we've got a pack.

01:10:11.000 On the road, we've got a pack. 0.99

01:10:11.000 They're not going to fuck with us. 0.99

01:10:12.000 I would tackle coyotes for you, Ben. 1.00

01:10:15.000 You wouldn't even have to.

01:10:16.000 I carry a taser on me most times and a knife.

01:10:18.000 No, you left it in the car, like in a really weird exposed place yesterday.

01:10:21.000 Okay, let's not talk about it.

01:10:22.000 It was one time. 1.00

01:10:24.000 Taser lying on the fucking seat. 1.00

01:10:25.000 I almost zapped myself. 1.00

01:10:26.000 First of all, you have to turn it on properly, so you're fine.

01:10:29.000 Maybe you left it on.

01:10:30.000 I don't know.

01:10:30.000 I didn't.

01:10:31.000 You can't be alone.

01:10:33.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:10:34.000 I thought you were on the same team.

01:10:35.000 I mean, you can be alone on the same team, but...

01:10:39.000 She's talking about the taser thing.

01:10:40.000 Sorry. 0.99

01:10:42.000 Yeah, if you're alone, they're going to say, okay, there's a weakness here, we can exploit it, we're going to fucking do this. 0.97

01:10:46.000 And the girl apparently was really small. 0.96

01:10:48.000 She was like less than 100 pounds. 1.00

01:10:50.000 That's insane.

01:10:51.000 That is terrifying.

01:10:51.000 And they were like, we could do this.

01:10:53.000 We could just fucking do this. 0.99

01:10:54.000 That's so fucking scary. 1.00

01:10:55.000 And they did. 0.99

01:10:55.000 They did. 0.99

01:10:56.000 Killed her.

01:10:56.000 We watch a lot of Planet Earth in the car in our travels.

01:11:01.000 And, you know, there's...

01:11:04.000 No, it's tough.

01:11:05.000 Do you think that the way that you think about that stuff has changed now that you have kids? 1.00

01:11:10.000 It's like, oh fuck. 0.99

01:11:10.000 It's just accelerated, but it was always there. 0.99

01:11:13.000 It was always bizarre to me how dangerous the natural world is.

01:11:18.000 Yeah.

01:11:18.000 And how it's right there.

01:11:19.000 And how dangerously we fuck with it. 1.00

01:11:21.000 You know, like we manipulate shit. 1.00

01:11:23.000 Like I said, I'm from Ohio and this is fucked up. 1.00

01:11:26.000 Check this shit out. 1.00

01:11:27.000 Okay. 1.00

01:11:28.000 In the Cleveland Metroparks, where I'm from and where my family resides, there's obviously a deer population that's out of control, like a lot of places, and people get sick of hitting them with their cars.

01:11:40.000 So they thought it was a good idea to bring coyotes in to deplete the deer population, which they're not native to that area. 0.94

01:11:47.000 So there's coyotes in Ohio now, which is so fucking weird. 0.96

01:11:51.000 It's not natural. 0.97

01:11:53.000 And like, you know, people start losing their dogs and they don't think about those things.

01:11:57.000 And I remember hearing a story of a...

01:11:59.000 Who did that? 0.91

01:12:00.000 I don't know.

01:12:00.000 I couldn't tell you, but...

01:12:03.000 A good family friend of ours was telling the story that her young children were playing in the backyard as they always did and she looked outside the window and she said there are two coyotes in their tree line and she ran outside and her little kids were just playing there.

01:12:16.000 But people aren't used to that.

01:12:17.000 It's not like you live in Montana and you know that there's bears there and you know that there's wolves.

01:12:21.000 It's like this new introduction of people manipulating with nature and it's not cool, man.

01:12:29.000 Well, there was a lot of times people were trying to right wrongs.

01:12:33.000 Like, that's what they were trying to do with the wolf population, trying to right the wrongs, because they did poison wolves.

01:12:39.000 There used to be more wolves.

01:12:42.000 But I'm not exactly sure if you really want to be safe and you really want to have a city and civilization.

01:12:50.000 I don't think you want a large population of wolves.

01:12:54.000 I think it's probably super important.

01:12:56.000 If you want to keep this whole people thing going on at the level that's going on now where we can get new Samsung phones every six months. 0.99

01:13:03.000 I really don't think we can keep these fucking wolves around. 1.00

01:13:07.000 This shit is the whole reason why we invented cities in the first place. 1.00

01:13:10.000 These city people forgot. 1.00

01:13:12.000 Did you ever see that video about how wolves changed the...

01:13:16.000 Yellowstone Park.

01:13:17.000 The rivers?

01:13:18.000 Yeah.

01:13:19.000 Like, they do serve a purpose, Joe.

01:13:21.000 Yeah, but the purpose is an odd one.

01:13:23.000 The purpose is that of a predator.

01:13:25.000 Like, this idea that there's only one form of balance.

01:13:29.000 But not necessarily.

01:13:30.000 Because you don't want lions in L.A., okay?

01:13:34.000 You just don't.

01:13:35.000 But there are.

01:13:36.000 But there's not.

01:13:37.000 Mountain ones.

01:13:37.000 But no, they're cougars.

01:13:39.000 They're smaller, they're more scared, but a large line, like a 600 pound line.

01:13:44.000 Like, what if a few of them started living in LA and were like, hey, we have to deal with it, man.

01:13:48.000 You know, what if they eat skateboarders?

01:13:50.000 We would have to, like, accept the fact...

01:13:52.000 That's fine.

01:13:53.000 You can eat the skateboarders.

01:13:54.000 They're a natural part of nature.

01:13:56.000 They have to eat too. 1.00

01:13:57.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:13:58.000 We would kill those lions. 1.00

01:14:00.000 We would kill them all. 1.00

01:14:01.000 If a lion ate your friend, if you came home one day and a lion was eating Ben, what kind of an attitude do you think you'd have towards that lion? 1.00

01:14:09.000 You'd be very upset with him.

01:14:11.000 Can we get a little more detail on the scenario?

01:14:17.000 Well, this is what happened. 0.99

01:14:19.000 We got some crazy, hippie president that decided to... 0.95

01:14:23.000 The only way for us to have total compassion is to open up the borders to all plants and animals. 0.97

01:14:28.000 I'm just trying to work on the balance here.

01:14:30.000 I'm not an extremist. 0.95

01:14:32.000 Coyotes, everywhere you look, killing kids, too many kids. 1.00

01:14:35.000 Fuck it, we have to be a part of the solution. 1.00

01:14:37.000 And he just brought in predators to take out people. 1.00

01:14:40.000 How up-to-date are you on Terminator?

01:14:48.000 We should end this podcast right now.

01:14:50.000 That would be the perfect way to end it.

01:14:52.000 I'm not at all.

01:14:53.000 I've missed the boat.

01:14:54.000 Come on! 0.61

01:14:55.000 We can fill you in on one and three if you're interested.

01:14:57.000 Well, there's a new one.

01:14:57.000 We couldn't find two anywhere.

01:14:59.000 Which one is the new one?

01:15:00.000 What was it?

01:15:00.000 Just Blu-ray.

01:15:01.000 The new one just came out.

01:15:02.000 New one's not out yet, right?

01:15:03.000 It's not out yet?

01:15:03.000 I don't know.

01:15:04.000 I live in a small, large city.

01:15:07.000 There's five of them.

01:15:08.000 Khaleesi from Game of Thrones.

01:15:09.000 I heard it.

01:15:10.000 What?

01:15:11.000 Khaleesi.

01:15:12.000 Oh, wow.

01:15:13.000 The really pretty girl, the Mother of Dragons?

01:15:14.000 Yes.

01:15:15.000 That's pretty cool.

01:15:16.000 Wow.

01:15:16.000 Powerful.

01:15:19.000 I'm not on speaking terms with the Terminator.

01:15:23.000 But the problem is...

01:15:26.000 I could go back and watch those movies.

01:15:27.000 There's a lot of movies I need to watch.

01:15:29.000 But what really bothers me about the Terminator movie in particular is that we might have real Terminators.

01:15:38.000 That's what we're talking about, dude!

01:15:40.000 That's why I wanted to bring up the topic.

01:15:42.000 In 50 years.

01:15:42.000 It might be a real problem.

01:15:44.000 Yeah, people are talking about it.

01:15:46.000 Elon Musk, Bill Gates.

01:15:48.000 Yeah.

01:15:49.000 Did you hear about that?

01:15:50.000 Stephen Hawking?

01:15:50.000 They signed this letter to be like, we cannot have AI. But it's weird, because they signed this letter, we can't have autonomous weaponry.

01:15:59.000 Right.

01:15:59.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:16:01.000 But they're also, at least Elon Musk is, but a bunch of these guys are investing in AI. So it's like, how are you drawing that line?

01:16:08.000 Because they probably want to be ahead of it, first of all.

01:16:11.000 And if you're in the tech business... 1.00

01:16:13.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:16:13.000 Hedging their bets. 1.00

01:16:14.000 But if you're in the business, like, if you look at...

01:16:16.000 I mean, I'm just assuming that if you're a tech guy, like, part of what it is is about innovation at its highest form.

01:16:24.000 Like, what's innovation at its highest form other than artificial intelligence?

01:16:28.000 Yeah.

01:16:28.000 It's like the highest form of innovation.

01:16:30.000 Sure.

01:16:30.000 The creating of a life of some sort of sentient being out of...

01:16:35.000 Plastic and metal. 1.00

01:16:36.000 All this shit is crazy. 1.00

01:16:37.000 3D printing. 1.00

01:16:38.000 It's the same discussion as the 3D printing stuff.

01:16:41.000 This dude, Cody Wilson, came out and was like, I'm going to print guns because someone's going to.

01:16:47.000 You know what I mean?

01:16:48.000 So you look at it and you say, well, it's something that we can't change.

01:16:51.000 If it's something we can't change, then what is it?

01:16:52.000 So where are we going to put our bunker?

01:16:54.000 Oh, God.

01:16:56.000 Anyway, we're retiring Joe.

01:16:59.000 Joe's yawning.

01:17:00.000 I'm terrified.

01:17:01.000 It's scary.

01:17:02.000 Did you yawn when you're scared?

01:17:03.000 Yeah, I got so scared I yawned.

01:17:06.000 No, it's not that I'm tired of hearing about it.

01:17:08.000 I said, uh, I'm scared.

01:17:10.000 No, it's crazy.

01:17:11.000 It is.

01:17:12.000 I think society, we hang on a string all the time, and we keep fixing that string.

01:17:18.000 We're really good at keeping the string going, but we assume that the string has to stay, and we know that that's not really true, and that's why we love movies about where the string breaks, and Mad Max, like, ah! 0.99

01:17:30.000 Shit got crazy! 0.98

01:17:31.000 Where's the water? 1.00

01:17:32.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:17:33.000 There's no law! 1.00

01:17:35.000 There's no rule!

01:17:36.000 You have to fight to the death!

01:17:37.000 I mean, it's Barstow.

01:17:39.000 If you go to Barstow right now and fenced it in for 10 years, it would be Thunderdome.

01:17:46.000 I mean, there's spots where you could manipulate, cut them off to the rest of the world.

01:17:52.000 And they would be like that.

01:17:53.000 And there's places that are like that now.

01:17:55.000 We keep saying that.

01:17:56.000 You know, go to Africa. 0.81

01:17:57.000 We've got to go to Africa, Joe. 0.91

01:17:58.000 I think if you went to Africa, I'd go, there's parts of Africa that are probably crazier. 1.00

01:18:02.000 Exactly.

01:18:03.000 There's a great vice piece on this place in Monrovia, in Liberia, where it's just like, it's a total wasteland. 0.95

01:18:09.000 People are shitting in the streets. 0.90

01:18:11.000 The governor or some high political official came down and shat on the beach just to be like, I'm one of the people. 0.98

01:18:15.000 You know, like, this is how we're doing it.

01:18:17.000 That's what he did?

01:18:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:18:18.000 He was crazy. 0.99

01:18:19.000 To get votes? 0.75

01:18:19.000 Well, that was, was that before Ebola broke out? 0.75

01:18:22.000 Because it was, like, people, that was part of the, like... 0.97

01:18:24.000 Shitting caused Ebola? 0.98

01:18:25.000 That was the... 0.99

01:18:26.000 Well, yeah.

01:18:27.000 It's all the unsanitary conditions and stuff.

01:18:29.000 People living in filth.

01:18:32.000 That's part of it.

01:18:32.000 I don't know if that's...

01:18:33.000 But, you know, can I... I really feel fucking really strongly about this. 0.92

01:18:38.000 It's dope, right? 0.98

01:18:39.000 Do we...

01:18:39.000 I was just looking at the clock.

01:18:41.000 You're pointing at the clock?

01:18:41.000 The clock is dope.

01:18:42.000 Okay.

01:18:42.000 You really feel strongly.

01:18:44.000 About, you know, we're talking about like hanging by a string and stuff like that and you know, oh god the government sucks and all this stuff and it's all this is true there's there's you know you could click a button and just kill a lot of people and but at the end of the day while we're here there's some really beautiful things to experience like your shows comedy shows and you make people feel good.

01:19:07.000 How dare you?

01:19:07.000 What about flowers?

01:19:08.000 What about waterfalls? 0.99

01:19:09.000 Look, I'm fucking going down the list here. 0.98

01:19:11.000 Let me have my moment. 0.97

01:19:12.000 And, you know, there's all these incredible things.

01:19:15.000 And, you know, something that we get to see on the road, like, we'll have, like, our scheduled Honey Honey shows where you buy your tickets.

01:19:22.000 And then occasionally we'll have these really cool opportunities to play, like, concert series that, like, small towns will have where they have no idea who we are, which is awesome because we went to this town in Dillon, Colorado.

01:19:38.000 Where literally, like, I would say maybe 10% of the people were there to see us, but the rest of the people were there because they lived in the town, and they wanted to have their entertainment for the night.

01:19:49.000 And so there was all these different people.

01:19:51.000 There were, like, really young families and really old people, and they all brought their lawn chairs and beers, and we were in this outdoor amphitheater on this lake.

01:20:00.000 There's, you know, I don't know, like 500 or 600 people there.

01:20:04.000 Something like that.

01:20:05.000 And it was such a cool experience because there was this collective experience of all these people that came together for whatever they needed at the time that wasn't like, you know...

01:20:20.000 It wasn't about us.

01:20:21.000 We were offering what we could to the situation.

01:20:24.000 But at the end of the day, it was really beautiful because it was all these people that were having this experience together in their own way.

01:20:30.000 And it was different races, demographics, and like it was just we had this moment.

01:20:37.000 And it was really cool.

01:20:38.000 And I think...

01:20:39.000 Right now, when the world is in this really funny place that's really scary, and we can put energy into how scary it is and all that stuff, but we can also put energy into these experiences together where we're trying to figure it out.

01:20:54.000 I think that's really important.

01:20:57.000 I think most of what people are fighting over has nothing to do with most of the people.

01:21:02.000 Yeah.

01:21:03.000 Most of the people in the world, what do we want to do?

01:21:08.000 We want to just hang out with our friends, go to dinner.

01:21:11.000 We don't want to take over the oil fields.

01:21:14.000 Most of the people just want to have a good time.

01:21:16.000 Most of the people.

01:21:17.000 There are a few people who really want to push that whole making money envelope to the point where we want to invade countries.

01:21:24.000 Sure.

01:21:25.000 That's 90% of what's wrong with us.

01:21:28.000 It's not most of us.

01:21:30.000 Most of us, and I think this is what we're able to do now that we weren't able to do before, is most of us can talk to each other.

01:21:40.000 You can get whatever your message out.

01:21:44.000 Whatever your message is out in a way that you've never been able to do before.

01:21:48.000 So if you want to do it in a song, if you want to do it with an e-book, you can get your message out.

01:21:53.000 A poem?

01:21:53.000 A poem.

01:21:55.000 Don't tell anybody it's a poem.

01:21:56.000 Tell them it's a rap song.

01:21:57.000 I love you.

01:22:01.000 Brownie points if you're white. 0.94

01:22:02.000 Oh my god.

01:22:04.000 Right?

01:22:06.000 But I think...

01:22:08.000 I mean, this is the best time ever.

01:22:11.000 Like, people that say, oh, the world's falling apart.

01:22:13.000 No, I don't. 1.00

01:22:13.000 Damn it, I think it's always been fucked because it's filled with people. 1.00

01:22:17.000 Like, the world's always been fucked. 1.00

01:22:19.000 But guess what? 1.00

01:22:20.000 People are fucked, and we're the best things on Earth. 1.00

01:22:24.000 Okay? 1.00

01:22:25.000 Turtles can suck it. 1.00

01:22:26.000 No, it's true. 1.00

01:22:27.000 It's like as light as it is dark. 0.99

01:22:29.000 If you were on an island with a bunch of turtles, you'd want to fucking kill yourself inside a week. 0.94

01:22:32.000 If there was a million living beings on this island, I was one with these beings. 0.99

01:22:36.000 You would commune with them. 1.00

01:22:37.000 Please, you'd shoot yourself right in the face. 1.00

01:22:40.000 If I gave you two bullets, one of them was for the turtle that you were going to kill to stay alive for the first day, and the second one you're going to put right in your fucking mouth. 1.00

01:22:49.000 Damn. 1.00

01:22:49.000 You're like, I'm not living with turtles for the rest of my life. 1.00

01:22:52.000 Not doing it.

01:22:53.000 How do you prepare the turtle?

01:22:55.000 Do you have sriracha?

01:22:57.000 You just boil it.

01:22:58.000 I need to know.

01:22:59.000 You just have to bang rocks together to light up dry leaves.

01:23:02.000 Wow, you've thought about this. 0.98

01:23:04.000 You're going to have to cook it just to make sure you kill the parasites. 0.99

01:23:07.000 It's going to taste terrible. 0.99

01:23:09.000 Thank God.

01:23:10.000 That's a pretty awesome thing, that food tastes so good.

01:23:12.000 You know, you're talking about the context of things, how the world's changed. 0.99

01:23:15.000 Shit didn't taste this good. 1.00

01:23:17.000 No! 1.00

01:23:17.000 It tastes too good a lot of the times. 1.00

01:23:19.000 Food is an art form now.

01:23:21.000 There's some art forms that have probably been around for a long time with food, right?

01:23:25.000 Like a lot of dishes.

01:23:27.000 There's some...

01:23:28.000 I mean, we...

01:23:29.000 Ethnic dishes, right?

01:23:30.000 We started to do some work with Farm Aid, which has been really cool. 0.99

01:23:34.000 And learned a lot about, you know, the whole fucking structure of, you know, corporate food, corporate, literally, like, all the hormonal shit. 0.99

01:23:43.000 And, you know, you're fine. 0.99

01:23:45.000 I mean, you've got your, like, mousse and bear in your freezer.

01:23:47.000 Like, your meat section is covered.

01:23:50.000 It's delicious.

01:23:51.000 I'm glad you guys enjoyed it.

01:23:53.000 It's so good. 1.00

01:23:54.000 But, you know, the majority of the food that people eat in their grocery stores, you go to Safeway or you go to fucking Piggly Wiggly, that shit is toxic. 1.00

01:24:04.000 Piggly Wiggly, damn. 1.00

01:24:05.000 That shit is awful. 1.00

01:24:07.000 It is God fucking awful. 1.00

01:24:10.000 I don't think it's that bad. 0.99

01:24:10.000 And it will give you cancer. 0.99

01:24:12.000 I don't think it's that bad.

01:24:13.000 Joe!

01:24:13.000 Honestly, here's the thing about meat.

01:24:16.000 How often do you eat that shit? 1.00

01:24:17.000 It's just like protein and water. 1.00

01:24:18.000 If you ate that every day, your shit would be fucked up. 1.00

01:24:21.000 You'd be like, why do I have acne all of a sudden? 1.00

01:24:23.000 You would freak out.

01:24:24.000 I'm not convinced.

01:24:25.000 I don't know.

01:24:26.000 This is the only reason why I'm saying this. 0.99

01:24:28.000 But it's a shitty protein. 0.99

01:24:30.000 What? 0.99

01:24:30.000 I don't know if it is or it isn't. 0.99

01:24:32.000 See, I don't understand.

01:24:33.000 I just want to be honest about it.

01:24:35.000 I don't know what you actually get off of a piece of meat.

01:24:39.000 It seems to me like, logically, I am attracted to a darker, richer meat because I feel like it would be a healthier animal, a more vibrant animal.

01:24:49.000 And logically and centrally, too.

01:24:49.000 There's something biologically doing like, no, this is bitter.

01:24:52.000 But then that's why it's counterintuitive because a lot of the really fatty cuts of meat are the ones that people enjoy the most.

01:24:58.000 You're right.

01:24:59.000 That's why they like that wagyu. 0.99

01:25:00.000 Wagyu, how do you say it?

01:25:02.000 I don't know.

01:25:02.000 The Japanese version of beef where they fatten them up.

01:25:04.000 But wait, wait, wait.

01:25:05.000 Are you talking about fatty versions of meat that have been processed to be that way?

01:25:08.000 No, you're saying with the animals.

01:25:10.000 The appeal.

01:25:11.000 Sure.

01:25:12.000 I guess it was because of fats.

01:25:14.000 Fats have always been super important because people, it was hard to get food.

01:25:17.000 Yeah, and they help you digest, too. 0.99

01:25:19.000 They do a lot of shit. 0.98

01:25:20.000 But also, like, you really wanted, like, the attraction to things that have a lot of calories. 1.00

01:25:24.000 Like, that was one of the most important things when people were starving to death all the time.

01:25:28.000 You had to get that fat.

01:25:30.000 Fat was important.

01:25:31.000 Yeah, and big was key.

01:25:33.000 Big was like, we gotta be big.

01:25:34.000 But now, it just shows you how these things change. 0.74

01:25:37.000 Now, bigger is kind of fucking us over.

01:25:39.000 It's like overconsumption.

01:25:40.000 People are just so big now, too.

01:25:42.000 There was a thing on TV the other day about a kid who was a senior in high school.

01:25:47.000 He's the biggest football player ever.

01:25:49.000 And he's a senior in high school.

01:25:51.000 He's seven feet tall, 440 pounds. 1.00

01:25:55.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:25:56.000 And he's 17 years old. 1.00

01:25:57.000 Jesus.

01:25:57.000 That's incredible.

01:25:58.000 It's insane. 1.00

01:25:59.000 Like, we're going to go right to the fucking moon. 1.00

01:26:03.000 We're going to scrape the moon with our heads. 0.99

01:26:05.000 Then we're going to just keep getting bigger.

01:26:06.000 That's insane.

01:26:07.000 People are going to be too big.

01:26:08.000 That's insane.

01:26:09.000 People are going to run out of oxygen and start dying.

01:26:13.000 Because they're going to pass through...

01:26:14.000 They're going to get to a point a thousand years from now where a thousand...

01:26:17.000 I would like to know more about that kid's diet and what kind of supplements he's taking and stuff like that.

01:26:22.000 Right.

01:26:23.000 What did he eat?

01:26:24.000 If it was some crazy lightning strike of, like, natural phenomenon, that would be incredible.

01:26:30.000 And I'm totally open to that.

01:26:31.000 But there's so many things, like, you know, like, with processed meats, like, girls are getting their periods at 11. Are they, though?

01:26:38.000 Yeah.

01:26:39.000 I mean, that should have checked out. 1.00

01:26:41.000 What creepy fucking guy is standing there with a clipboard? 1.00

01:26:43.000 Have you started to bleed yet? 1.00

01:26:45.000 Oh, my God. 0.69

01:26:47.000 Margaret, let me see your panties. 1.00

01:26:49.000 Oh, my God.

01:26:51.000 Where do they keep Margaret? 1.00

01:26:52.000 Who is this guy that's asking these fucking period questions? 0.99

01:26:55.000 It better not be a guy. 1.00

01:26:57.000 It better be a woman. 1.00

01:26:58.000 I hope you have a woman doctor that's not a fucking creep. 1.00

01:27:01.000 God, I hope it's not some creep. 1.00

01:27:02.000 You know what's funny?

01:27:02.000 That dude in San Diego that got arrested today?

01:27:05.000 No.

01:27:05.000 Well, he got sentenced to...

01:27:07.000 This is a terrible story. 0.99

01:27:08.000 This guy got sentenced to only one year of house arrest, and he pleaded guilty to fucking eight of his patients while they were under. 0.99

01:27:16.000 Oh, man. 0.99

01:27:17.000 Kill Bill in it. 0.99

01:27:18.000 Oh, that's terrible. 0.80

01:27:19.000 He only got a year of house arrest.

01:27:21.000 That's horrifying.

01:27:22.000 People thought he was going to get 20 years.

01:27:24.000 What's his name and social security number?

01:27:26.000 I don't even want to...

01:27:27.000 Google it.

01:27:28.000 Let's find him.

01:27:29.000 It's awful.

01:27:33.000 I was going to talk about an inappropriate story, but I'm not...

01:27:37.000 Oh, too late.

01:27:42.000 The first time I had like a gynecology thing when I was like I was like 18 and it was a male doctor and he was so hot that I like did not know what to do with myself.

01:27:53.000 I remember being like, so...

01:27:56.000 Wow, that's a scene in a porn.

01:27:59.000 It really was incredible.

01:28:00.000 I had my pelvis zapped with an electric needle by a beautiful dermatologist.

01:28:05.000 Not the same thing.

01:28:08.000 What if the guy look at it and give you a thumbs up?

01:28:11.000 That's when it would have been really weird.

01:28:14.000 About what?

01:28:15.000 The guy wasn't there.

01:28:16.000 I can't.

01:28:16.000 I wasn't there.

01:28:17.000 I can't accept while you are still in the building, she's going to go to the restroom. 1.00

01:28:21.000 She might not want to talk about that.

01:28:22.000 That might be how she's trying to get out of it. 1.00

01:28:24.000 Good point.

01:28:25.000 You can't hold her to the fire.

01:28:26.000 That's true. 0.99

01:28:27.000 It's a vagina thing. 1.00

01:28:28.000 That's considerate. 0.99

01:28:28.000 If a girl's talking a story about a vagina, you have to either, it comes or it doesn't come. 0.99

01:28:32.000 You can't like go, come on, what happened to you pussy? 1.00

01:28:36.000 They don't love that? 1.00

01:28:37.000 I think she'll love it.

01:28:38.000 They get mad.

01:28:39.000 What happened?

01:28:40.000 Come on.

01:28:41.000 What happened? 1.00

01:28:42.000 Joe, what's up with your dick? 1.00

01:28:43.000 What's up with your dick? 1.00

01:28:43.000 Why is your dick happy? 1.00

01:28:46.000 Or no? 1.00

01:28:48.000 Oh boy. 1.00

01:28:50.000 So you're having a dick problem? 1.00

01:28:53.000 What's the deal? 1.00

01:28:55.000 The dick problem that old people get? 1.00

01:28:57.000 Or the dick problems that pedos get? 1.00

01:28:59.000 What kind of dick problem are we talking about here, fella? 1.00

01:29:03.000 I had a band-aid on my dick once. 1.00

01:29:04.000 Vaginas are infinitely more sensitive to criticism. 1.00

01:29:08.000 You know, you can make a joke about a dude having a stinky dick, but if you make a joke on stage about a woman's malodorous vagina, you would be a terrible person. 1.00

01:29:20.000 They wouldn't have anything to do with you. 1.00

01:29:22.000 Even if you're telling a true story. 0.99

01:29:25.000 If you did tell a true story about a woman's stinky vagina, you would have to really word it well. 1.00

01:29:31.000 You feel like it's a double standard? 1.00

01:29:32.000 Yes, I do.

01:29:33.000 Let's work away, dude.

01:29:35.000 You've got to start doing it.

01:29:36.000 You've got to lead the charge.

01:29:37.000 See, this is my thing.

01:29:38.000 I don't think necessarily that all double standards are there because of inequality.

01:29:46.000 I think some double standards are there because we want to quantify things instead of just looking at them as being completely different.

01:29:53.000 Sure. 1.00

01:29:53.000 You tell a dude his dick stinks and he goes, all right, I'll wash it. 1.00

01:29:58.000 But also, it's really got to be serious if you're not up close to it. 1.00

01:30:03.000 It might be stinky as fuck. 1.00

01:30:05.000 It's very possible for your dick. 1.00

01:30:06.000 What the fuck are you guys talking about? 1.00

01:30:07.000 If you're lazy, you don't clean your dick, it's very possible your dick could be stinky as fuck. 1.00

01:30:11.000 Are we talking about uncircumcised penises? 1.00

01:30:14.000 I mean, not necessarily. 1.00

01:30:16.000 Stinky dicks versus stinky vaginas. 1.00

01:30:19.000 That a man saying a woman's vagina is stinky is like a terrible thing to do. 1.00

01:30:24.000 It's like there is a double standard because it is different. 0.99

01:30:28.000 But maybe it needs to be said, you know?

01:30:30.000 It's a more powerful statement.

01:30:33.000 To a woman? 1.00

01:30:34.000 Yes, because if you tell a dude that his dick stinks, he goes, psh, alright, I'll wash my dick. 1.00

01:30:39.000 Like, that's it. 1.00

01:30:39.000 You know once you wash your dick, it's clean. 1.00

01:30:41.000 It's not going to continue to stink. 1.00

01:30:42.000 I think some dudes will freak out about it.

01:30:44.000 They'll be like, what do you mean?

01:30:45.000 What's wrong with me?

01:30:45.000 Those guys are babies.

01:30:47.000 Most guys are just gonna wash their dick. 1.00

01:30:49.000 But for a woman, you're dealing with an internal flora issue. 1.00

01:30:55.000 Right?

01:30:55.000 That's the issue of having any sort of a yeast infection.

01:31:00.000 It's life forms living in your cooter. 0.79

01:31:06.000 Doesn't your diet affect the smell of your jizz?

01:31:09.000 I've been thinking about that for the last hour. 0.76

01:31:14.000 Oh my god!

01:31:16.000 Well, we know it affects the smell of your pee, right?

01:31:19.000 If you eat asparagus, you can smell your asparagus while you're peeing.

01:31:22.000 I gotta assume that makes it into your calm as well.

01:31:25.000 Oh yeah.

01:31:26.000 It only makes sense.

01:31:28.000 Wow, I go to the bathroom for like two minutes.

01:31:30.000 You brought up the gynecologist. 0.72

01:31:31.000 I did. 1.00

01:31:33.000 As soon as Ben and I were locking eyes with each other, we went right into the toilet and started talking about stinky dicks. 0.99

01:31:43.000 That is not the direction I like for us, Joe. 1.00

01:31:48.000 Dude, it is what it is.

01:31:50.000 It is what it is.

01:31:52.000 Live with it.

01:31:53.000 It's a funny thing.

01:31:54.000 I just think that's why it's funny.

01:31:57.000 It's ruder for whatever biological reason. 1.00

01:32:00.000 It's ruder for a man to mock a woman's stinky vagina in a cruel fashion. 0.99

01:32:05.000 Do you think that's out of insecurity? 0.99

01:32:07.000 Do you think that's a degrading thing that you want to devalue a woman's special place?

01:32:16.000 It's very possibly. 1.00

01:32:17.000 But it's also equally negative on the other side when a woman mocks a man for having a tiny dick. 1.00

01:32:25.000 It's not the size of the dog. 1.00

01:32:27.000 I swear by that.

01:32:28.000 Lies. 1.00

01:32:31.000 But a micro dick. 1.00

01:32:33.000 If a guy has a micro dick. 1.00

01:32:34.000 I need to shut my mouth. 1.00

01:32:35.000 If a guy has a little tiny dick. 1.00

01:32:36.000 There's guys that have micro dicks like that. 1.00

01:32:39.000 Like a chode? 1.00

01:32:41.000 Like a full on chode? 0.80

01:32:42.000 Joe, what do you buy?

01:32:43.000 A tiny one, like a little one. 1.00

01:32:44.000 I'm saying like a little terrifyingly small little dick. 1.00

01:32:48.000 And if someone mocks that... 0.99

01:32:49.000 Well, what if he's really funny?

01:32:51.000 Well, that'll help. 1.00

01:32:52.000 But it's less offensive to make fun of a stinky pussy than it is to make fun of that. 1.00

01:32:57.000 Because I think a stinky pussy you can clean up. 1.00

01:33:00.000 That's right. 1.00

01:33:01.000 That's right.

01:33:02.000 All you need is some acidophilus in your life, girl. 1.00

01:33:06.000 All you need is some wild kimchi. 0.65

01:33:09.000 You need some raw foods.

01:33:12.000 Take care of your flora.

01:33:14.000 I hope that my mom and dad never listen to this podcast.

01:33:17.000 Mom, listen mom, you know what's up. 1.00

01:33:20.000 These chairs are fucking dope, dude. 1.00

01:33:22.000 They're not bad. 1.00

01:33:22.000 They're very good. 1.00

01:33:23.000 They really do help with the posture.

01:33:24.000 Ergo Depot.

01:33:25.000 Shout out to Ergo Depot.

01:33:27.000 They sent them to us.

01:33:27.000 I was skeptical at first because I had one before that.

01:33:30.000 It was like super uncomfortable.

01:33:32.000 It was like one of those knee ones where you go on your knees.

01:33:34.000 You know what I'm talking about?

01:33:35.000 Yep, I do. 0.98

01:33:36.000 And you're on your butt in some sort of a weird way. 0.98

01:33:39.000 Tough to get used to.

01:33:40.000 But they do make you keep a good posture.

01:33:42.000 And then I got this other one that was like a saddle, but then this dude from Ergo Depot hollered at me online.

01:33:49.000 That's awesome.

01:33:49.000 And he said, those are not good for long term.

01:33:51.000 It's like you're sitting at a desk for a long period of time and you need something like this.

01:33:54.000 And he sent it to me and I was like, but it looks like a regular chair.

01:33:57.000 And then you sit in it and you go, oh, it's called a Capisco, that's what it's called. 0.99

01:34:00.000 You sit in it and you go, oh yeah, that's a perfect fucking Posture! 0.98

01:34:03.000 Well, it's really interesting how they've done all these studies on your posture, like... 0.99

01:34:07.000 On your posture, dude.

01:34:09.000 Yours specifically, uh, news grenade, people are watching you and listening.

01:34:13.000 Um, but, but, like, the way your body language expresses your, like, there's certain chemicals.

01:34:21.000 Don't get crazy.

01:34:22.000 There were studies, like, if you sit like this, you know, there's this, like, power stance.

01:34:27.000 That's the Dick Ford.

01:34:29.000 It's called the Dick Ford.

01:34:31.000 Is it?

01:34:31.000 Are you just being a...

01:34:31.000 No, when guys are...

01:34:32.000 So I go...

01:34:34.000 I put my feet up on the desk and I go Dick Ford. 0.76

01:34:38.000 No, I'm not even joking.

01:34:40.000 That's like a move.

01:34:41.000 It's like a horse dance.

01:34:43.000 But if you were to sit like...

01:34:45.000 Oh, is that true?

01:34:46.000 Really?

01:34:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:34:47.000 Wait, really?

01:34:48.000 Why did I not know that?

01:34:49.000 Why did I not know that?

01:34:51.000 No, he's being serious.

01:34:52.000 You're serious?

01:34:53.000 Yeah.

01:34:53.000 I'm going with it.

01:34:54.000 I mean, sometimes...

01:34:54.000 Serious or not, it's serious now.

01:34:56.000 So, Dick Ford?

01:34:57.000 Don't settle down the river, Ben.

01:34:59.000 Let me have this dream.

01:35:00.000 Dick Ford. 0.99

01:35:00.000 Why don't we all just fucking sit back? 0.99

01:35:03.000 Well, Dick Ford, especially if a guy has like maybe some sort of an alligator skin cowboy boots on and he puts his feet down on the ground in some sort of an office chair, you know what I'm saying? 0.98

01:35:12.000 Some sort of a risky environment and then puts his hands behind his head, leans back and goes, well, how much do you like this job? 0.89

01:35:22.000 I'm about to go dickful.

01:35:25.000 There's chemicals released from that physical position. 1.00

01:35:29.000 Shit's going on. 1.00

01:35:30.000 You're getting more powerful by sitting like that. 1.00

01:35:32.000 Like Thor.

01:35:33.000 I can feel it.

01:35:33.000 Thor with his hammer.

01:35:35.000 Yeah, you're just like Thor.

01:35:37.000 They say that about smiles, right?

01:35:39.000 That when you smile...

01:35:41.000 Fake it till you make it, dude.

01:35:42.000 It actually has an effect on your brain.

01:35:44.000 It gives you a certain amount of happiness.

01:35:47.000 Now, my problem with that...

01:35:49.000 Or mean it.

01:35:51.000 I think mean it's possible.

01:35:52.000 Yeah, that's great.

01:35:53.000 Let's not sell ourselves so short.

01:35:55.000 Yeah, that's much better that way.

01:35:56.000 How about fake it till you mean it? 1.00

01:35:58.000 Oh, damn. 1.00

01:35:59.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:36:01.000 That's so beautiful. 1.00

01:36:02.000 I just teared up.

01:36:02.000 Oh, my God.

01:36:02.000 We have to sing a song.

01:36:03.000 We went deep.

01:36:04.000 We went deep.

01:36:05.000 Was it even that good?

01:36:06.000 No, definitely not that good. 0.99

01:36:09.000 People at home are going, what the fuck? 1.00

01:36:11.000 That's a fucking t-shirt. 1.00

01:36:13.000 That we should sell. 1.00

01:36:15.000 Fake it till you mean it.

01:36:16.000 Fake it till you mean it. 0.99

01:36:17.000 That's fucking awesome. 1.00

01:36:17.000 We're just enabling sociopaths. 1.00

01:36:22.000 Have no emotions, pretend you do.

01:36:24.000 They'll grow.

01:36:25.000 Water them with the tears of others. 1.00

01:36:28.000 Here's Honey Honey with their fucking new hit. 1.00

01:36:30.000 Your tears taste delicious. 1.00

01:36:33.000 Yeah, this is a slam poem.

01:36:35.000 It's even worse than a regular poem.

01:36:37.000 Have you ever been to- I'm gonna say it in a voice that's not mine.

01:36:42.000 Always here and always on time.

01:36:45.000 Top of the mountain, bottom of the gully.

01:36:49.000 I've been here before my friend Sully.

01:36:52.000 You didn't have to rhyme, dude.

01:36:54.000 No, it was good.

01:36:55.000 That's the problem.

01:36:57.000 Red is strong.

01:36:57.000 It comes from a strong immigrant background with a very good work ethic.

01:37:01.000 You gotta make some shit, Ryan, if you want to call it a poem. 1.00

01:37:03.000 Alright, you can't just say a bunch of shit. 1.00

01:37:05.000 The lightning hits the thunder. 1.00

01:37:08.000 I'm on the street.

01:37:09.000 Why is it wet?

01:37:10.000 I don't know.

01:37:11.000 My father doesn't love me as much as he loves his new wife.

01:37:14.000 As I get in my car, and I wish my tire wasn't flat, but it is.

01:37:19.000 Deal with it.

01:37:20.000 I can't.

01:37:21.000 I try.

01:37:21.000 I move on.

01:37:24.000 My alarm wakes up.

01:37:25.000 I wish my life was that interesting.

01:37:28.000 Back to the grind.

01:37:30.000 Wow.

01:37:30.000 It was a dream.

01:37:33.000 It was a dream.

01:37:36.000 And then I light my cigarette.

01:37:39.000 You just captured us, dude.

01:37:42.000 You captured us.

01:37:43.000 Then you have one single tear that's just like, you light your cigarette and there's one single tear and everyone's like, oh my God.

01:37:47.000 Can you fake crying, Joe? 0.96

01:37:48.000 Everyone has a boner.

01:37:49.000 In your acting days? 1.00

01:37:50.000 No, but I cry like a bitch, man. 1.00

01:37:53.000 I'll fucking cry. 1.00

01:37:54.000 People get mad at me because I cry so easy. 0.99

01:37:57.000 But I just get, I don't cry for sad things.

01:37:59.000 It's a weird, I'm a weird person in that way.

01:38:02.000 Oh, you cry for happy things?

01:38:02.000 I cry for like powerful things.

01:38:03.000 That's funny.

01:38:04.000 That makes sense.

01:38:05.000 Sad things make me really sad, but I can absolutely cry from them.

01:38:10.000 But a lot of times involuntary tears come from really happy things.

01:38:15.000 That's beautiful.

01:38:16.000 Like I'll be talking to somebody on the pod, like Ronda Rousey when she was in here.

01:38:21.000 I love her.

01:38:21.000 I was talking to her about her dad and her dad committed suicide, man.

01:38:26.000 And this chick that she was fighting in her last fight. 1.00

01:38:28.000 Oh, I saw it. 0.99

01:38:29.000 Said something that she interpreted as, like, she might kill herself like her father.

01:38:35.000 And, you know, whether or not that was exactly what that girl meant, it didn't matter, because that's what Rhonda saw. 0.99

01:38:40.000 And then she went out there and beat the shit out of that girl, and I was like, whoa. 0.99

01:38:43.000 That was fucking crazy. 1.00

01:38:45.000 But it was so crazy. 1.00

01:38:48.000 It was like this weird moment in history.

01:38:52.000 I had this feeling for a minute that I was in this place that there's going to be a point in time.

01:38:58.000 It didn't matter if the girl wasn't the right opponent for her. 0.99

01:39:02.000 It didn't matter whether the girl was in her league. 1.00

01:39:05.000 What it was was what had happened in this country where this chick had come overseas and just beat the fuck. 1.00

01:39:11.000 We're talking to this girl on pay-per-view. 1.00

01:39:13.000 It's a girl!

01:39:14.000 And then, like, so you have this crazy sport that everybody resists, like, oh my god, it's barbaric, it's masculinity, it's the most toxic left.

01:39:21.000 The biggest star is a hot chick. 1.00

01:39:24.000 The biggest star!

01:39:25.000 The biggest stars!

01:39:26.000 Sweat this. 0.96

01:39:27.000 The biggest star in the craziest, most violent sport the world has ever known is a beautiful woman who's highly skilled, who is a living Charlie's Angels movie, who flies to other continents to beat the fuck out of itches. 1.00

01:39:43.000 We're talking about a girl. 0.96

01:39:45.000 That's her job. 0.97

01:39:45.000 A girl who, if she decided to starve herself, she could easily be a model, right? 0.97

01:39:49.000 She's beautiful. 1.00

01:39:50.000 Instead, she chooses to get in a metal tube, fly to South America, and beat the fuck out of some chick on pay-per-view. 1.00

01:39:56.000 And when you're there and you watch that happen, and you watch this paradigm-shifting moment, like, for me, I was like, whoa! 0.98

01:40:03.000 Did you cry?

01:40:04.000 I almost did then.

01:40:05.000 I almost did when I was interviewing her, and a tear leaked out a little bit when I had her on the show, and I talked about it.

01:40:11.000 Yeah.

01:40:12.000 But I almost cried when I was talking to Conor McGregor.

01:40:15.000 I was talking to Conor McGregor after he beat Chad Mendez when I was talking about Ireland.

01:40:19.000 One of these Irish people in the audience.

01:40:22.000 That was the show, Ben, in Vancouver.

01:40:24.000 You guys were in Vancouver while it was happening?

01:40:26.000 Wait, he fought...

01:40:28.000 The guy was from...

01:40:28.000 Chad Bendez?

01:40:29.000 From California, wasn't he?

01:40:30.000 Yes, yes.

01:40:31.000 We literally...

01:40:32.000 Joe, we watched that show from a sports bar.

01:40:36.000 We didn't know who was coming to our show in Vancouver.

01:40:38.000 And I said to Ben, I was like, I'll bet a bunch of people from this bar are coming to our show.

01:40:43.000 And it was weird because it wasn't a market that we're really prevalent in.

01:40:48.000 And I'm not even joking you.

01:40:50.000 Like, 95% of the people that were at that show were Rogan fans.

01:40:54.000 And they were watching that fight.

01:40:57.000 So it was weird.

01:40:59.000 You'd be amazed at how many parallels there are.

01:41:02.000 We all have these prejudices against people.

01:41:05.000 People that would be into MMA wouldn't be into your kind of music.

01:41:09.000 But you're totally wrong.

01:41:10.000 We're all totally wrong.

01:41:11.000 We're all scared.

01:41:13.000 We were talking about earlier about the natural world.

01:41:16.000 We're all terrified of all the dangers of when people didn't have the internet.

01:41:21.000 They didn't know who the people were that were coming in boats.

01:41:24.000 Ah!

01:41:24.000 We have less and less to fear.

01:41:27.000 We're more and more like each other and we realize that more and more on a daily basis.

01:41:32.000 So like when the mergings of our sort of fans is like the perfect example of that.

01:41:37.000 Like universally the people that I introduced to you I don't want to blow you guys up.

01:41:42.000 But universally, they love you.

01:41:44.000 I mean, you guys are awesome.

01:41:46.000 It's not like I go, hey, these guys suck, but they're cool, they're fun to hang out with.

01:41:51.000 If I tell you I love them, I'm telling you these guys, there's something going on. 0.52

01:41:56.000 But you're telling people in your community a lot of the time they're really open people, too.

01:42:00.000 You know what I mean?

01:42:01.000 That plays a big role.

01:42:02.000 We didn't think we could be.

01:42:04.000 We all thought that we had issues with each other.

01:42:08.000 We all thought that somehow or another you couldn't be athletic and also like books.

01:42:12.000 Nobody wanted to talk to you about those books.

01:42:14.000 Sure.

01:42:14.000 You couldn't be into documentaries but also be into martial arts.

01:42:17.000 You couldn't do that.

01:42:18.000 You couldn't do that because you were either like a meathead or you were a nuanced person who wasn't worried about physical activities.

01:42:25.000 You couldn't be both.

01:42:26.000 Dude, I love that you just said that. 0.99

01:42:30.000 Because I play the fucking banjo and violin, and people think we're a country band, but we fucking rock. 0.99

01:42:35.000 Ben plays the electric guitar. 1.00

01:42:37.000 It gets crazy.

01:42:39.000 But then we'll be sensitive.

01:42:40.000 We can call ourselves Honey Honey.

01:42:41.000 And then we call ourselves Honey Honey.

01:42:43.000 Is it fair to say you guys are a Donny Marie for 2015?

01:42:46.000 Oh, Joe.

01:42:47.000 She's a little bit country. 1.00

01:42:49.000 Hold on, let me write that down.

01:42:51.000 That was a good one. 1.00

01:42:53.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:42:54.000 I'm sorry, I forced that one in there too. 1.00

01:42:55.000 It wasn't even good.

01:42:57.000 I forced it in there. 0.96

01:43:00.000 They were the first fucking, like, they were kind of like a hybrid band. 0.97

01:43:04.000 They're brother and sister though, right? 0.89

01:43:05.000 Did you ever see the SNL with Lucy?

01:43:07.000 And Mormon.

01:43:07.000 They're Mormon?

01:43:08.000 Yes.

01:43:08.000 They did not know that.

01:43:10.000 How dare you?

01:43:11.000 Wow, I'm so sorry.

01:43:11.000 And they're so Mormon.

01:43:15.000 You want to know how Mormon they are?

01:43:21.000 Jamie, pull up the album of the Osmond Brothers.

01:43:26.000 There was an Osmond Brothers album where they all showed their planets that they have.

01:43:32.000 Planets? 0.99

01:43:33.000 Yeah, when you die, if you're a serious fucking hardcore Mormon, you get your own planet. 0.99

01:43:38.000 What? 1.00

01:43:39.000 I want one.

01:43:40.000 That's pretty cool.

01:43:41.000 Wait, what are we doing here? 0.99

01:43:42.000 Why aren't we getting our fucking planets? 0.99

01:43:45.000 One of their albums is like them, and it shows like Mormon mythology on the album, like planets and shit. 1.00

01:43:50.000 Wow. 1.00

01:43:50.000 Damn. 1.00

01:43:52.000 How does it go? 0.99

01:43:53.000 What is it, Jamie?

01:43:56.000 You get a planet when you die.

01:43:58.000 If I'm out of line, please.

01:43:59.000 I mean, if I paraphrased.

01:44:01.000 No, you did great.

01:44:02.000 But I'm pretty sure.

01:44:03.000 The truth is coming.

01:44:04.000 Because I remember somebody showed it to me, and I almost blacked out.

01:44:08.000 Because I was like, is this real?

01:44:09.000 I'm going to say something.

01:44:10.000 You know what?

01:44:11.000 I'm not embarrassed about it.

01:44:12.000 I don't know.

01:44:13.000 I couldn't name a song.

01:44:14.000 Donny Marie?

01:44:16.000 Oh, they had a lot.

01:44:17.000 They had a lot of hits.

01:44:19.000 They're very nice.

01:44:20.000 Donny, especially, is a really nice guy.

01:44:22.000 He's very friendly.

01:44:23.000 He's a super, super nice, easy-going guy.

01:44:26.000 That's awesome.

01:44:27.000 When you're around him, and when I was a kid, I used to watch the Donny and Marie show on TV. So to meet him in real life, I was like, is this real?

01:44:36.000 It totally didn't seem real.

01:44:39.000 I'm meeting Donny Osmond, and I'm like, what?

01:44:41.000 This is cute.

01:44:42.000 This cannot really be Donny Osmond.

01:44:44.000 There's no way.

01:44:45.000 I really hope after this we can boot up the SNL with Louie Marie Dreyfus.

01:44:50.000 Did I say that right?

01:44:51.000 It's called The Plan, apparently.

01:44:53.000 Which one?

01:44:53.000 From Seinfeld?

01:44:54.000 Yeah.

01:44:54.000 Julia.

01:44:55.000 Jesus.

01:44:56.000 Sorry.

01:44:57.000 Louie.

01:44:58.000 We got some sort of an issue with our imaging.

01:45:01.000 But did they have like a huge radio hit?

01:45:04.000 Yeah, they had.

01:45:04.000 Well, Donny Marie had a big time show.

01:45:08.000 They had a big television show.

01:45:10.000 It was like late night, wasn't it?

01:45:11.000 So it was more about the show.

01:45:12.000 I feel like it was like a one-night-a-week variety show, if I had to remember correctly, dig deep into my memory banks.

01:45:21.000 But they would have singers on, and they would sing.

01:45:24.000 She would sing, I'm a little bit country, and he would be like, and I'm a little bit of rock and roll.

01:45:31.000 Yeah, totally.

01:45:32.000 Yeah, and they would have this thing.

01:45:34.000 Yeah.

01:45:34.000 We're kind of working towards that.

01:45:36.000 Ben is my brother?

01:45:37.000 I think it's the plan, and then there's the inside of the album that has all sorts of like...

01:45:42.000 It says going home with that hand.

01:45:45.000 Oh, the hand that holds the earth, is that what it is?

01:45:47.000 Yeah.

01:45:47.000 That's the inside?

01:45:48.000 Yeah.

01:45:49.000 Going home.

01:45:50.000 Interesting.

01:45:51.000 Is that their home?

01:45:52.000 But whatever it is, that Mormon thing, whatever it is, it made Donny Osmond a very nice person.

01:45:58.000 He was very nice.

01:46:00.000 Is there a message in here?

01:46:03.000 I don't know if it matters.

01:46:06.000 I don't know if it matters.

01:46:07.000 I think in the end, being a nice guy like Donny Osmond is more important than knowing exactly how stars are made.

01:46:19.000 Knowing how planets are formed in real life, it doesn't really apply to the real world because it's a super slow process and if you dwell on that, you don't have any time.

01:46:28.000 There's no room.

01:46:29.000 You can't fit that in there.

01:46:30.000 A planetary question.

01:46:31.000 Can I ask you?

01:46:32.000 Yeah.

01:46:33.000 Okay, so I'm reading this book.

01:46:35.000 It's talking about All this gas, all this matter just boom, colliding together and falling into orbit of the sun and becoming this planet that we're on.

01:46:43.000 Right. 0.94

01:46:44.000 So why is there heat, why is there a ball of fucking fire in the middle of it? 0.98

01:46:48.000 That's a super good question. 0.98

01:46:50.000 Where did that come from?

01:46:50.000 No idea.

01:46:51.000 Me neither.

01:46:52.000 I think it's like fairy dust and leprechaun come.

01:46:56.000 Love it.

01:46:57.000 That's what I'm talking about! 1.00

01:46:58.000 The fairies and leprechauns, they each fuck a separate tree. 0.99

01:47:02.000 And it forms a crystal. 0.99

01:47:03.000 They come and fight to the death in the center of the earth.

01:47:05.000 And it takes six Texans to change a light bulb because the seventh one has to watch the crystal.

01:47:12.000 They don't need light bulbs.

01:47:13.000 We don't need light bulbs.

01:47:14.000 We light candles around here.

01:47:17.000 We like to go old school.

01:47:19.000 Ride horses, light candles.

01:47:22.000 Burning wax.

01:47:23.000 We drink whiskey. 0.99

01:47:25.000 And we shoot intruders. 0.92

01:47:28.000 They're dangerous. 0.97

01:47:30.000 They could be threats.

01:47:32.000 I just became really self-aware of everything that we're talking about. 0.98

01:47:35.000 This might be the most fucked up we've ever been on one of these podcasts. 0.98

01:47:38.000 No, I feel so bad. 1.00

01:47:39.000 Equally fucked up. 0.99

01:47:40.000 Us? 0.99

01:47:40.000 No, because last time I smoked weed and I was like, boo, just flatlined for like a couple minutes. 0.99

01:47:46.000 So when you smoke weed, it makes you introspective?

01:47:49.000 It makes me...

01:47:51.000 Like an introvert?

01:47:52.000 Very introverted and tired.

01:47:56.000 Like, I don't know.

01:47:58.000 I'm not good at it.

01:47:59.000 But also, I'm not...

01:48:01.000 But it makes me sleep, which is great because I have a really hard time sleeping.

01:48:05.000 Right.

01:48:06.000 So I think that's something...

01:48:07.000 I have just a chemical reaction to it.

01:48:11.000 I've tried, dude. 0.99

01:48:12.000 I've fucking tried. 0.98

01:48:13.000 You guys are so good at it. 0.99

01:48:14.000 You shine.

01:48:16.000 You really shine.

01:48:17.000 I totally understand where you're coming from. 0.98

01:48:19.000 Who the fuck knows what it does? 0.98

01:48:22.000 I know people that can't drink coffee. 1.00

01:48:24.000 If they have a cup of coffee, they feel like they're going to have a heart attack.

01:48:27.000 They just can't do it.

01:48:28.000 For whatever reason.

01:48:29.000 Coffee's really weird.

01:48:32.000 I'll have a cup and I will just like peek and then I'll cry.

01:48:35.000 Like if I have too much, I'll crash and they get really sad. 0.96

01:48:39.000 But like for like the two hours, I'm just super productive, like emails and shit. 0.95

01:48:44.000 Everybody does that. 0.98

01:48:44.000 Are you making fun of me? 0.98

01:48:45.000 No, no, no, no.

01:48:46.000 Yes.

01:48:46.000 If I knew how to put you in a headlock, I would do, but I think I do.

01:48:50.000 I'm totally making fun of you, but not for real. 0.69

01:48:52.000 That's the one.

01:48:52.000 You do like a karate chop though?

01:48:53.000 How do you protect the nose?

01:48:55.000 Turn the back of the hand towards the back of the head.

01:48:58.000 No, the other way.

01:48:59.000 His head.

01:49:00.000 The person you're choking, spin your hand.

01:49:02.000 Left pinky down. 0.99

01:49:03.000 Left pinky down. 0.99

01:49:04.000 Keep going.

01:49:05.000 Keep going.

01:49:06.000 And make a karate chop with your hand.

01:49:07.000 Yeah.

01:49:08.000 Make a karate chop thing like you would karate chop with a straight hand.

01:49:10.000 Right. 0.88

01:49:11.000 Now, that's what you're sneaking behind their neck.

01:49:13.000 Yeah.

01:49:13.000 And then you squeeze down on that.

01:49:16.000 That's how you do it. 0.99

01:49:17.000 I can fucking do this, man. 0.99

01:49:18.000 I got this. 0.99

01:49:19.000 You do it.

01:49:19.000 The hand on the back of the neck goes into a karate chop position like this.

01:49:24.000 And what that does is it gives you maximum leverage.

01:49:27.000 Wow.

01:49:28.000 If you do get under someone's arm, you could totally choke a guy to sleep.

01:49:36.000 100%.

01:49:36.000 Thank God.

01:49:37.000 There's a lot of women. 1.00

01:49:38.000 If it came to the difference between a woman who's a kickboxer defending herself with the same amount of experience in the gym as a woman who's a jiu-jitsu black belt defending herself, it would be, in my opinion, I would favor the woman Like her ability to dominate a much larger opponent using only jujitsu skills, 0.99

01:50:00.000 especially for women, I think.

01:50:03.000 I think because jujitsu is the most technical and the most positional and leverage-based of all the martial arts.

01:50:10.000 And it's sort of like...

01:50:11.000 I attribute...

01:50:15.000 Compare it to, like, getting in an argument with someone who doesn't know English very well.

01:50:19.000 Like, if you were having an argument with someone, and they were, like, really shitty at English, and they were just slowly...

01:50:24.000 You'd be like, what? 1.00

01:50:25.000 What the fuck are you talking about, dummy? 1.00

01:50:27.000 What do you say? 1.00

01:50:27.000 Spit it out, stupid! 1.00

01:50:29.000 Like, it was a mean person. 1.00

01:50:30.000 You fuck go to yourself! 1.00

01:50:31.000 Right. 1.00

01:50:32.000 Well, that's the same way with jujitsu. 1.00

01:50:34.000 Like, if you knew the language of jujitsu so well, and you had some dumb dude that was trying to grab you, you'd be like, yeah, fuck you! 1.00

01:50:43.000 And like you'd be like some crazy ninja chick on his back choking him. 1.00

01:50:47.000 That is absolutely feasible.

01:50:49.000 Whereas like with striking, the real problem that a lot of women face is the actual physical size of their bones. 1.00

01:50:55.000 Like when you're punching people especially.

01:50:58.000 Like unless you have your hands fully wrapped up like in a good boxing wrap and then a padded leather glove on top of that, it's hard to just punch people in the face.

01:51:08.000 Unless you have a good sturdy build.

01:51:12.000 We're not like in a...

01:51:13.000 I'm not like in a position where I'm going to have an actual battle with someone yet.

01:51:18.000 You don't know that.

01:51:18.000 I don't know.

01:51:19.000 You're right.

01:51:19.000 But at this point...

01:51:21.000 Well, do you want to do it for competition or do you want to do it for self-defense?

01:51:23.000 Self-defense.

01:51:24.000 I mean, like...

01:51:25.000 But see, then you can't say that because that could happen...

01:51:28.000 On the way to the grocery store.

01:51:31.000 Oh my god, yeah. 1.00

01:51:31.000 You could run into some crazy, messed up chick who wants to fucking duke it out. 1.00

01:51:35.000 You fucking cuck! 1.00

01:51:37.000 You're the one! 1.00

01:51:38.000 There's some times where like, I wish I had the fucking manpower, literally, to like, We were in Nashville like two weeks ago for Americana Fest. 0.98

01:51:48.000 We were playing this festival and we were driving under this bridge and there were these two guys beating the fuck out of each other in the middle of the street. 0.97

01:51:56.000 There was like a bottle over the face.

01:51:57.000 This one guy was choking the other guy. 1.00

01:51:59.000 Good technique or no?

01:52:00.000 It looked terrible.

01:52:01.000 It was sloppy.

01:52:02.000 It was sloppy. 1.00

01:52:03.000 It was sloppy crackhead bullshit. 1.00

01:52:05.000 It's one of my main puzzles. 0.99

01:52:07.000 But it was like, obviously we called the police, but I had this moment where I was like, I wanted to do something. 0.94

01:52:13.000 I'm like, what the fuck can I do? 0.95

01:52:15.000 And I literally leaned out the window and I went, stop it! 0.99

01:52:17.000 Stop it! 0.99

01:52:19.000 I didn't know what to do.

01:52:20.000 And I called the police, but if I were a ninja like you, I'd go in there and be like...

01:52:24.000 No, no, no, no.

01:52:25.000 I would have definitely stayed in my car.

01:52:27.000 Right.

01:52:27.000 100%.

01:52:28.000 Listen to me.

01:52:30.000 If you're driving by two people beating the fuck out of each other, you are not there.

01:52:38.000 You are in a car. 1.00

01:52:42.000 Just because it's right in front of you, that shit could be 100 miles away. 0.98

01:52:46.000 Unless, unless there's someone in that mixture that needs you, like, if there's someone who's small and they're getting beaten up by someone big, then everything changes. 1.00

01:52:56.000 But if it's two fucking dudes... 0.99

01:52:57.000 Well, the dude was like choking the other day. 1.00

01:52:59.000 Fuck my pig! 1.00

01:52:59.000 That your pig! 1.00

01:53:00.000 You owe me that pig! 0.99

01:53:02.000 And if they're fighting in this tree, just try! 0.98

01:53:05.000 So my point is, don't always stop.

01:53:07.000 Just kiss already! 1.00

01:53:09.000 Don't always stop.

01:53:10.000 Sometimes you gotta let two dudes beat each other to death.

01:53:13.000 It's better for everybody.

01:53:16.000 Certain people.

01:53:17.000 It's fine.

01:53:18.000 Just give them both rocks and push them near the edge.

01:53:20.000 Go! 0.95

01:53:23.000 Let them fall.

01:53:24.000 What are they going to do?

01:53:25.000 Are they going to stay and keep coal mining?

01:53:27.000 You got to keep moving, okay?

01:53:28.000 Genes need to flourish.

01:53:30.000 They need to find better streams of diversity.

01:53:33.000 I appreciate the perspective.

01:53:35.000 That's what I'm saying, man.

01:53:37.000 Don't always stop fights, but some fights you have to stop, right?

01:53:41.000 The classic is a man beating a woman. 0.99

01:53:44.000 There's a small battle in the front row of the Honey Honey show the other day in Long Beach.

01:53:50.000 I don't like that.

01:53:51.000 I don't like that either, but I also think it's amazing. 0.99

01:53:55.000 My people are fucking up. 0.99

01:53:56.000 Guys, guys, guys. 1.00

01:53:57.000 Come on, guys.

01:53:58.000 You had a honey, honey show.

01:53:59.000 Don't.

01:53:59.000 Hug each other.

01:54:01.000 There's some of that. 0.99

01:54:02.000 Look, we're fucking hardcore, but also we're fucking lovers. 0.97

01:54:04.000 And it was amazing to have these dudes who were fighting. 1.00

01:54:09.000 And I was like, fuck you, motherfucker. 1.00

01:54:11.000 And I was like, guys, one of you has a honey, honey t-shirt on. 1.00

01:54:14.000 I just want to be like, let's think about this for a second.

01:54:18.000 I hate that expression, pro tip.

01:54:22.000 Whenever someone tells you that they're hardcore, they're never hardcore.

01:54:26.000 That's 100%.

01:54:27.000 That's fair.

01:54:28.000 The expression, we're hardcore.

01:54:32.000 That never comes out of the mouth.

01:54:34.000 But Joe, check this out.

01:54:36.000 You cry sometimes.

01:54:38.000 You're just as hardcore as you are soft.

01:54:42.000 I think you're equal parts, dude.

01:54:44.000 I will never claim hardcore.

01:54:46.000 I've never claimed hardcore.

01:54:47.000 I don't say it.

01:54:48.000 I'm more of a medium core.

01:54:50.000 Medium core.

01:54:51.000 I'm balanced.

01:54:52.000 I'm all about longevity, balance, thought.

01:54:54.000 I support that.

01:54:55.000 Constant assessment of the path.

01:54:58.000 Don't try to run the furthest.

01:54:59.000 Try to make sure you hit the least trees.

01:55:01.000 Nice.

01:55:02.000 That's how I look at it.

01:55:03.000 I think it's super important to evaluate the next few steps. 0.90

01:55:10.000 Well, I think there's a lot of fucking continuing the same patterns that got people into the positions we're in now. 0.91

01:55:16.000 Watch the flailing. 0.98

01:55:17.000 A lot of flailing.

01:55:19.000 That's a great word, too.

01:55:21.000 It's perfect for it.

01:55:22.000 It sounds like what it looks like.

01:55:24.000 Flailing.

01:55:25.000 No, it's true.

01:55:27.000 Right?

01:55:27.000 Flailing is like one of the best words ever, descriptively.

01:55:30.000 That's a good one.

01:55:31.000 I flail all the time. 1.00

01:55:33.000 Like you fucking flailing spastic. 1.00

01:55:34.000 Maybe you should call someone a flailer. 1.00

01:55:37.000 Damn, you got him. 0.99

01:55:38.000 It's true. 1.00

01:55:40.000 Right?

01:55:40.000 What are you going to say?

01:55:41.000 They take him down. 0.99

01:55:41.000 Fucking hardcore, bro. 0.99

01:55:43.000 You're a flailer. 1.00

01:55:44.000 Dude, you're flailing.

01:55:46.000 You're just running, flailing.

01:55:47.000 The minute he used that word, they crumble and they're like, you're right, I know.

01:55:52.000 It's definitely a word that like forces you into a bad position, you know?

01:55:56.000 Sure.

01:55:57.000 It's a very unsturdy word.

01:55:59.000 Flailing is not like, oh, you've got your footing. 0.97

01:56:02.000 It's like, you're fucking falling out of control. 0.98

01:56:04.000 Let me hold you. 0.99

01:56:05.000 I think conversations are, in a lot of ways, they're like numerical exchanges. 0.99

01:56:12.000 Like, you know, you say something that's 30, and she goes, oh, this bitch wants to get crazy, and she says something that's 37, and then you might just ratchet her right up to 90, and everybody's like, what in the fuck? 0.99

01:56:23.000 You're like, what happened to 42 in 1670? 1.00

01:56:26.000 But if we take away the cultural context of the words, she calls me a cunt. 1.00

01:56:31.000 My mother told me, don't let her girl call you a fucking cunt. 1.00

01:56:33.000 If a girl calls you a cunt, you stab her. 1.00

01:56:35.000 You stab her in front of your mother, it's fucking to the death, to the death! 1.00

01:56:39.000 Cunt is a big word. 1.00

01:56:40.000 But what are those things? 0.86

01:56:42.000 What are those moments?

01:56:42.000 Well, those really take away the cultural context.

01:56:45.000 There's a numerical value to the expression.

01:56:48.000 Like that girl hit you with a 90 bomb. 1.00

01:56:51.000 You're a cunt with a steaky pussy. 1.00

01:56:53.000 No! 1.00

01:56:55.000 No! 1.00

01:56:56.000 That bitch tried to cut to the bone. 1.00

01:56:58.000 She tries to go through your emotions to get to your fucking nervous system and start chiseling in there. 1.00

01:57:06.000 I do that sometimes. 1.00

01:57:06.000 Chipping away at the fucking... 1.00

01:57:08.000 Do you do that? 1.00

01:57:09.000 Occasionally.

01:57:11.000 But I think that's what it is.

01:57:13.000 It's a dark place.

01:57:14.000 If you look at it not in terms of a conversation between two people that are being mean to each other, throw all that stuff away.

01:57:21.000 Throw out all the cultural framework that we have.

01:57:25.000 You're watching a number exchange.

01:57:27.000 You're watching people play a game.

01:57:29.000 And a sound exchange, too. 0.99

01:57:31.000 I keep trying to fucking get it to sound. 0.98

01:57:33.000 It's a competition. 0.99

01:57:34.000 It's a competition.

01:57:36.000 There's a social competition involved in people being mean to each other.

01:57:39.000 Oh. 0.97

01:57:40.000 I really think that's what a lot, when people's like, you know, someone hits you with a 32 and you hit them with a fucking 40, you know, like, whoa, I walked away on a 40. Yeah. 0.96

01:57:48.000 You know, and I was gonna fucking keep going, but I decided. 0.99

01:57:51.000 Nice clean kill. 0.99

01:57:53.000 There's a competition!

01:57:55.000 You go back to the water cooler, you talk about it. 0.99

01:57:57.000 This fucking guy comes up to me and he says, well, one day maybe you'll be a manager too. 1.00

01:58:02.000 I'm like, bitch, you don't think I know your fucking dad owns the company? 1.00

01:58:05.000 Are you out of your mind? 1.00

01:58:06.000 If you were to live in my life...

01:58:08.000 Specifically, what are you talking about? 1.00

01:58:09.000 They'll shut the door, they'll lock the fucking lunchroom, and they'll have these deep conversations. 1.00

01:58:13.000 I told this motherfucker, if your dad didn't own this company, you'd be buried under my fucking house. 1.00

01:58:21.000 So they go through it, but what are they doing? 1.00

01:58:23.000 They're number exchanging.

01:58:24.000 That's what they're doing. 1.00

01:58:25.000 They try to win some stupid social game. 1.00

01:58:28.000 We do that sometimes, but then we're okay with it. 1.00

01:58:31.000 It's all dynamic.

01:58:34.000 We fight hard.

01:58:36.000 We had a big fight last week.

01:58:39.000 I got out of the car, took a long walk.

01:58:42.000 I thought I was going to take the train to the next city.

01:58:46.000 You need me to travel with you.

01:58:48.000 We'll go to Africa. 0.79

01:58:49.000 Can I be honest with you about something? 1.00

01:58:52.000 She fucking hates me. 0.99

01:58:57.000 This guy's been following me around. 1.00

01:59:01.000 You're right. 0.99

01:59:01.000 I've spent the better part of the last ten years with you because I hate you. 0.99

01:59:06.000 No, but it's true.

01:59:07.000 You know, it's something, the numbers game, I have a temper, for sure, you know, and some triggers, as do you.

01:59:15.000 We all have tempers.

01:59:16.000 It just takes different things to get there. 0.99

01:59:18.000 But the maintenance of this band that we're in requires a certain frequency, your fucking favorite word today, If we don't exist in that, there can be an imbalance and then it can build into this fight and then we'll fucking fight because we're in a fucking band. 0.98

01:59:36.000 But like... 0.94

01:59:37.000 Because we're two people that spend so much time together and go through all these incredible experiences but there's a certain...

01:59:43.000 And finish each other's sandwiches.

01:59:45.000 There's a stress that comes along with it.

01:59:48.000 You know what I mean?

01:59:49.000 I totally get it.

01:59:50.000 And you know, dude, you're traveling, you're doing these shows, you're just living whatever.

01:59:53.000 Well, my relationship with the comedians that I work with is less intimate because we don't share...

01:59:58.000 We very, very, very, very rarely...

02:00:00.000 Same sandwiches?

02:00:01.000 Share a stage at the same time.

02:00:03.000 And we don't have to practice together.

02:00:06.000 It's a totally different experience, I think.

02:00:09.000 It's like you guys, if you have a bunch of friends that you consistently tour with, that were not in your band.

02:00:17.000 Talk about numbers.

02:00:18.000 Having the right combination of people.

02:00:21.000 We're in a used Cadillac Escalade, 2007. This is how all good romance novels start.

02:00:29.000 And there's room for about four people, save for our girlfriend.

02:00:33.000 Every once in a while, our drummer's girlfriend comes out. 1.00

02:00:35.000 Oh, that bitch. 1.00

02:00:37.000 No, she's great. 1.00

02:00:38.000 She's very sweet.

02:00:41.000 Joan, Joan, don't do that.

02:00:44.000 First of all, I'm sure you're a wonderful person if you're listening to this.

02:00:47.000 I'm just joking.

02:00:49.000 I'm not talking about you at all.

02:00:50.000 I couldn't possibly be talking about you.

02:00:52.000 I don't know you, and they have said nothing wrong about you.

02:00:56.000 We're covered.

02:00:57.000 These are just jokes.

02:00:58.000 You have this combination of personal space. 1.00

02:01:02.000 And that cunt who keeps talking. 1.00

02:01:07.000 She's trying to read my text. 1.00

02:01:09.000 Listen, you fucking bitch. 1.00

02:01:11.000 This is your side of the bus. 1.00

02:01:13.000 This is my side of the bus.

02:01:15.000 You wouldn't even be here if you weren't.

02:01:16.000 Joe made and broke Honey Honey.

02:01:18.000 These are jokes.

02:01:20.000 I'm just joking.

02:01:21.000 No, but it's funny because, like, we will fight and then we'll have these great experiences, like, where we just...

02:01:29.000 You have to, like, work...

02:01:31.000 It's like we're all married.

02:01:33.000 Everyone in the band, you know?

02:01:35.000 It's like you spent so much time together to this point where, like, I know by the way that Ben breathes sometimes that, like, oh, he's... 0.98

02:01:43.000 He's really fucking mad. 0.96

02:01:45.000 Or he needs a sandwich. 1.00

02:01:47.000 Or you're just creating drama with your fake psychic powers.

02:01:51.000 We have psychic fights.

02:01:53.000 We have psychic fights.

02:01:54.000 I know you're mad at me.

02:01:56.000 Now spit it out.

02:01:57.000 I'm mad at you now!

02:01:58.000 Joe, please come on the road with us.

02:02:00.000 Please, please.

02:02:01.000 You guys need more people to bounce off of.

02:02:04.000 You need to get annoyed at me every now and then. 1.00

02:02:06.000 You're like, tell that fucking guy to just turn it off. 1.00

02:02:09.000 Turn it off. 1.00

02:02:10.000 No more jokes, no more funny.

02:02:11.000 No, but we have good dosing.

02:02:12.000 You know what I mean?

02:02:13.000 We see each other every couple months.

02:02:14.000 I honestly do think it's like eating meatloaf every day when you're with the same person every day.

02:02:19.000 Like, you want to meet new people.

02:02:20.000 But you guys are achieving something that you couldn't achieve if you're just in this, like, crazy life where you went one way and you...

02:02:27.000 You guys got this weird thing going on because you have this weird...

02:02:31.000 You have this artistic synergy, I would say, in that, like, you're both very different, but you're also very...

02:02:40.000 You're very cool to each other.

02:02:42.000 Like, as much as you guys get in fights, like, when you guys are nice to each other, like, I can see, like, when you guys interact, that you genuinely love each other.

02:02:49.000 Oh, yeah.

02:02:50.000 And you're genuinely friends.

02:02:51.000 And if you do say something a little mean, occasionally, you're genuinely sorry.

02:02:56.000 And you genuinely care and love each other.

02:02:59.000 It comes out.

02:03:02.000 That comes out in your music. 1.00

02:03:04.000 You're not day players on a fucking sitcom pretending to be in love with each other. 0.99

02:03:08.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

02:03:09.000 You guys aren't fucking guys, studio musicians they brought in, never met each other, and they're going to lay down a track. 0.98

02:03:16.000 You guys have been doing this, and you have this thing you're doing together. 0.98

02:03:22.000 You have to deal with the fact.

02:03:25.000 That you're so intimate with each other.

02:03:28.000 Like, you're gonna annoy the fuck out of each other.

02:03:30.000 You are each other.

02:03:31.000 I mean, you guys are... 1.00

02:03:32.000 It's fucked up. 1.00

02:03:33.000 You can totally move on with your lives. 1.00

02:03:36.000 It's beautiful and fucked up. 0.99

02:03:36.000 If it gets too crazy, you totally could. 0.99

02:03:38.000 But right now, you can't.

02:03:39.000 Because right now, you're like almost one person.

02:03:43.000 Wow.

02:03:43.000 You guys are almost like one, like, really well-spread-out person.

02:03:47.000 Okay.

02:03:47.000 You just saved me so much money in therapy, I can't even tell you.

02:03:51.000 I'm glad because I can't afford it.

02:03:54.000 You guys are too good!

02:03:54.000 It's too good!

02:03:55.000 It's too good together!

02:03:57.000 You guys are too good together.

02:03:58.000 It wouldn't work like that with other people.

02:04:00.000 It would be different.

02:04:02.000 It would probably be equally awesome for both of you, but don't let it happen.

02:04:07.000 Because what you guys have right now, you've hit this, whatever this thing is, you got this ball of focus and experience and musical knowledge and love and it's all coming together with your own specific creativity.

02:04:22.000 And you guys are just, and you're putting out these songs that are like, whoa!

02:04:26.000 Like, they're not, like, they keep getting better. 1.00

02:04:29.000 Like, your shit keeps getting better. 0.98

02:04:30.000 Like, you have, your old stuff was awesome, and then your new stuff, like, grows, and some, you're putting layers on these things. 1.00

02:04:37.000 So, look, you gotta be friends.

02:04:39.000 You should do ecstasy every few months.

02:04:41.000 Ah!

02:04:42.000 That's the move.

02:04:43.000 Every like eight or nine months, just set a weekend aside where no one is going to touch their cell phone.

02:04:50.000 Just do a little Molly.

02:04:51.000 You know what?

02:04:52.000 That sounds like you're joking, but honestly, you said a lot of really beautiful things and it's something that is nice to hear.

02:05:00.000 Thank you for saying that.

02:05:01.000 You know, it's a weird life we live in.

02:05:04.000 Yes! 0.98

02:05:04.000 It's fucking hard. 0.98

02:05:05.000 There's a lot of instability. 0.98

02:05:07.000 And, you know, but, like, we...

02:05:09.000 It's funny, like, when we fight and we go to our separate corners and if it lasts a while, like, it's weird.

02:05:14.000 There's, like, a real darkness.

02:05:16.000 It's weird, but it's also part of our...

02:05:18.000 Dynamic.

02:05:19.000 I think that's part of all what you're saying.

02:05:22.000 You can't exclude certain parts of it.

02:05:24.000 And if you guys had some sort of a specific relationship, like if you were a brother and sister.

02:05:30.000 It would be so much easier.

02:05:31.000 We have the same parents. 1.00

02:05:32.000 Those parents fucked. 1.00

02:05:34.000 And they created us. 1.00

02:05:35.000 And now we are children.

02:05:37.000 And this is my cousin.

02:05:39.000 This is my cousin Ben.

02:05:40.000 Yeah, his mom.

02:05:42.000 He's my brother's sister.

02:05:44.000 And that's why we're friends.

02:05:45.000 But when you're family with someone who you're not really family with.

02:05:50.000 I'm family with a lot of people and not all of them are related to me.

02:05:54.000 I'm family with a giant group of people.

02:05:57.000 You guys are clearly family.

02:05:59.000 You guys are family.

02:06:01.000 So whatever happens, you're always going to have to deal with that.

02:06:06.000 It's just not defined.

02:06:07.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:06:09.000 You're not husband and wife.

02:06:10.000 You're not mother and son.

02:06:11.000 It's weird.

02:06:12.000 You're not father and daughter.

02:06:14.000 You're not brothers.

02:06:14.000 What's the noise I need to make with my face that means you guys?

02:06:18.000 And if you don't have that noise, oh, you guys aren't married?

02:06:21.000 Wow, do you think he's ever going to come in? 0.99

02:06:23.000 People go through that kind of shit in relationships. 0.99

02:06:27.000 What noise do I have to make that changes your perception of what this is? 0.99

02:06:32.000 It has to be defined.

02:06:35.000 What's the definition of a band of really, really close friends that make awesome music together?

02:06:42.000 What is that?

02:06:43.000 You guys two wizards?

02:06:44.000 A wizard and a witch? 1.00

02:06:47.000 What the fuck are you? 1.00

02:06:48.000 You travel all across the country together? 1.00

02:06:51.000 Okay, what do I call you?

02:06:52.000 What do I call you guys?

02:06:53.000 Are you guys accountants?

02:06:55.000 Are you married?

02:06:57.000 Is it a Mr. and Mrs.?

02:06:58.000 No?

02:06:59.000 Is it a non-gender specific designation of some sort of contractual agreement?

02:07:04.000 What is it?

02:07:05.000 What is it?

02:07:06.000 Oh, we're just in a band together and we love each other.

02:07:08.000 What? 1.00

02:07:08.000 What the fuck are you saying? 1.00

02:07:09.000 Joe, you're like this angel man that came into our lives or something. 1.00

02:07:12.000 I don't fucking know. 0.94

02:07:13.000 And you guys to me. 0.97

02:07:14.000 I remember the first time I watched your video when you guys did that Angel of Death acoustic version on the roof.

02:07:20.000 I was like, whoa.

02:07:22.000 That was a while ago.

02:07:23.000 We've known each other a long time now.

02:07:25.000 What was the dude's name?

02:07:26.000 It was a crazy name that told me about it on the internet.

02:07:29.000 Balls of Steel.

02:07:30.000 Balls of Steel.

02:07:30.000 That's right.

02:07:31.000 Still, we don't know who that is.

02:07:34.000 He knows.

02:07:34.000 That's all that matters.

02:07:34.000 We don't even know if Balls of Steel is alive.

02:07:36.000 He's like a fucking superhero. 0.99

02:07:37.000 He has this knowledge. 1.00

02:07:39.000 He's alive.

02:07:40.000 He's definitely alive.

02:07:41.000 I've had a few people, you know, that's one of the cooler things about being connected to people on social media.

02:07:46.000 They'll connect you with something that you probably never would have heard of before.

02:07:50.000 Oh, that's amazing.

02:07:51.000 And then, just for you guys, we became friends, you know, in a strange way.

02:07:56.000 So that's it.

02:07:57.000 Yeah, it's been amazing, man.

02:07:58.000 Weird, right?

02:07:58.000 And it totally changed our band, honestly.

02:08:01.000 Like, it changed us from being, we can tour the country now, honestly.

02:08:06.000 And this has been a huge part of it.

02:08:08.000 Huge.

02:08:08.000 Well, this is the way I look at all podcasts, honestly.

02:08:13.000 It's like the idea of taking credit for the ocean when you accidentally stumbled upon an opening that turned something into a river.

02:08:23.000 Everything that everybody extracts out of what they find on the internet is essentially like you found a path, you hit a button, you pull a lever, and a river opened.

02:08:33.000 Whether it's a river of Honey Honey songs or Sturgill Simpson or Tom Segura or Joey Diaz, you're like some guy who's trying to take credit for the ocean because you've figured out if you hit the switch, it opens and the river just runs into the villages.

02:08:50.000 And then everybody finds out about Duncan Trussell.

02:08:52.000 And you just keep hitting these switches.

02:08:55.000 And so...

02:08:57.000 I can't take any credit for it.

02:08:59.000 All I did was stumble upon some switching station for all these super talented people.

02:09:05.000 Yeah.

02:09:05.000 That's how I look at it.

02:09:06.000 Yeah.

02:09:06.000 But it's a cool thing that you're looking for switching stations.

02:09:09.000 Not even.

02:09:09.000 You know what I mean?

02:09:10.000 That's what's fucked up about it. 0.97

02:09:12.000 Yes and no. 1.00

02:09:13.000 You totally are.

02:09:13.000 It serves a pretty pertinent purpose for where we're at right now.

02:09:17.000 It's pretty cool and it's really great to witness the effects of what you do at the switching station when we're out on the road and all these incredible, incredible fucking people that come out that just love you and really learn from The things that you say, 0.88

02:09:35.000 you know? 0.91

02:09:36.000 Well, they love you guys, too.

02:09:37.000 Somebody had the flower Honey Honey shirt at one of my shows the other night.

02:09:40.000 The grandma flower.

02:09:40.000 I have that tattooed.

02:09:42.000 You do.

02:09:43.000 It's a grandma flower.

02:09:44.000 Shazam. 0.98

02:09:44.000 You know how many dudes we're going to freeze frame that and jerk off to the end of time? 0.98

02:09:47.000 That's fucked up. 0.99

02:09:49.000 Let's just move on. 0.99

02:09:50.000 That's how it works.

02:09:50.000 That is beautiful.

02:09:51.000 That makes me feel funny.

02:09:53.000 But kind of in a good way?

02:09:55.000 I don't know.

02:09:55.000 I haven't decided.

02:09:57.000 Make it good.

02:09:58.000 Connection with nice people online is one of the most promising hints at what's possible for the future.

02:10:05.000 There's this idea that because online is anonymous, and anonymous means you're always going to be mean, that's not the case. 0.97

02:10:12.000 You're always going to get a certain amount of people that are shitheads. 0.97

02:10:15.000 But those people, quite honestly, almost all of them, they're damaged and hurt people who got fucked over in life, and then they're trying to take out all that On all these other people. 0.99

02:10:28.000 I mean, that's the vast majority of what's going on. 0.99

02:10:30.000 But the amount of noise per capita is so high amongst cunts. 0.99

02:10:36.000 It's so hard. 0.94

02:10:37.000 Because most people don't post anything.

02:10:40.000 Most people who think you guys are awesome, who've listened to this podcast, who've listened to your songs, they don't say a word about it.

02:10:45.000 They don't tweet about it.

02:10:47.000 They'll come up to me at shows and they'll just tell me, oh my God, thank you guys for introducing me to Honey Honey.

02:10:52.000 Really?

02:10:52.000 Yeah.

02:10:53.000 Oh, all the time.

02:10:53.000 All the time.

02:10:54.000 That's fucking cool. 0.98

02:10:54.000 All the time. 0.98

02:10:55.000 That's awesome.

02:10:56.000 But they don't say, they don't ever say, you know, I tweet about them all the time. 0.99

02:10:59.000 No, the people that tweet about, they'll say like mean shit, or they're just like... 1.00

02:11:05.000 They're the freaks. 1.00

02:11:07.000 They have the freaks.

02:11:07.000 It's funny, like, when you talk about like damaged people and stuff, like we have this song called Bad People that like...

02:11:13.000 I love that song.

02:11:14.000 Thanks, man.

02:11:14.000 But, you know, it came from this fascination with, like, why are people so mean?

02:11:20.000 Why are people doing shitty things? 1.00

02:11:22.000 Like, why do you bust a car window and steal somebody's shit? 1.00

02:11:24.000 Because you need their shit. 1.00

02:11:26.000 Well, that's one way. 1.00

02:11:28.000 But, like, why are you sinister?

02:11:30.000 Why are you, you know, poisoning the cats in my neighborhood? 0.99

02:11:33.000 Like, there's this fascination with where that fucking comes from. 1.00

02:11:37.000 Right. 0.98

02:11:38.000 And we wrote that song, and, like, it was just kind of hanging out for a while.

02:11:44.000 I've been thinking about it for a long time.

02:11:47.000 When do you turn?

02:11:49.000 Were you born that way? 1.00

02:11:52.000 Because bad people come from nice families all the time, and incredible people come from fucking shitholes. 1.00

02:11:59.000 They crawl out of a hole. 0.99

02:12:00.000 But I don't know if there's any one answer to it, but all I can say is that there's a fascination with where it comes from.

02:12:08.000 I don't know. 0.99

02:12:09.000 What do you think is more common for really nice people to come out of total shithole environments or for really nice families to have an asshole for a kid? 0.98

02:12:22.000 I think that inspiration can hit someone at an incredible, like phenomenal rate when you just don't even expect it. 0.98

02:12:31.000 I think you can have information just like slammed upside your head in like an instant and it could be the littlest thing.

02:12:38.000 And I don't know.

02:12:41.000 I know that privileged families, they have a comfort that That unprivileged families don't have.

02:12:53.000 Right.

02:12:53.000 And there's just a completely different perspective on need and hunger and emotional hunger.

02:13:01.000 You could be emotionally starved in any scenario.

02:13:04.000 Yeah, I think experience shapes so much of who we are.

02:13:09.000 And you can have a bad experience in any context.

02:13:13.000 It doesn't matter if you're...

02:13:14.000 You know what your I don't know your social status is you can still have a bad experience, you know, and it can still shape you and What do we value?

02:13:22.000 You know we I think in general we have good values things to be excited about we value kindness and generosity and things like that so it's rare and To see someone, and I don't know if I necessarily believe it, that someone who comes out of a series of good experiences just,

02:13:41.000 boom, will do things.

02:13:42.000 Unless there's serious psychological malfunctioning, it's like, you're going to treat people as a reflection of your environment.

02:13:49.000 For sure.

02:13:50.000 But I think we also have this need to say it's this or it's that.

02:13:54.000 You know, it's a disease, or it's DNA, or it's...

02:13:59.000 It's never that clear cut and dry.

02:14:00.000 Right.

02:14:01.000 I think there could be a lot of factors.

02:14:03.000 And I think a lot of factors in your environment, especially your experience, they can kind of push your genes.

02:14:08.000 They can push the expression of your genes, right? 0.95

02:14:10.000 Yeah, you're fucking genetically predisposed to things that weren't even taught to you. 0.93

02:14:15.000 You know, like, your anger or your, like, addiction or whatever. 0.98

02:14:18.000 And, you know, I think at the end of the day, like, everybody's got their suitcase and we need to respect everybody's suitcase.

02:14:24.000 Because, like, what might be a shitty day for me could be, like, the worst day for somebody or vice versa.

02:14:30.000 You know, you never know what someone's...

02:14:37.000 I'm like, oh man, I had a bad day with blah blah blah, and someone's like, oh yeah, my father killed my sister.

02:14:48.000 And that could be their worst day.

02:14:51.000 And I'm like, oh man, I thought my day was bad.

02:14:52.000 But at the end of the day, everyone has a different volume of what they're capable of experiencing.

02:14:59.000 And if you're not capable of experiencing it, you'll die.

02:15:04.000 You have as much as you can take.

02:15:07.000 And then if you can't take it, that's where it's at.

02:15:10.000 And even if you don't die, it's like, what are you?

02:15:13.000 What are you if you're not experiencing anything?

02:15:15.000 If you're not dead?

02:15:17.000 If you're just alone, silent, in a room? 0.99

02:15:19.000 You're like that lady that killed all those people and then left her alone in the castle.

02:15:22.000 But that was her suitcase, you know? 0.97

02:15:24.000 Cemented up room.

02:15:24.000 That was the suitcase she had to carry.

02:15:27.000 Yeah.

02:15:28.000 If you're not experiencing anything, you're barely alive, though.

02:15:30.000 That's one of the tricks of being a person.

02:15:32.000 If you're not experiencing things, if you're not having ups and downs, re-evaluations...

02:15:36.000 That's why you gotta go outside your comfort zone.

02:15:38.000 Get weird.

02:15:40.000 You don't have to.

02:15:41.000 Go to Austin.

02:15:42.000 Don't do that.

02:15:43.000 Don't buy one of those shirts.

02:15:46.000 Keep it weird.

02:15:48.000 Keep Austin weird.

02:15:49.000 Keep Portland weird.

02:15:50.000 Portland, I was going to say Portland.

02:15:51.000 Oh, don't do it.

02:15:52.000 And it's not your fault. 1.00

02:15:54.000 If you were about to buy it, going, this fucking shirt rules! 0.99

02:15:58.000 I was going to buy it. 0.99

02:16:00.000 They've never seen it before.

02:16:02.000 Yeah, if you've never seen it before and if you're really young and you have a head injury, I'm just kidding about the head injury.

02:16:10.000 These are jokes.

02:16:11.000 If you're a young person and you don't know how ridiculous it is to have a shirt on that says Keep Austin Weird, it's the same font in every shirt and it pretends it's handwritten. 0.53

02:16:22.000 Well, it evolved in a bad way.

02:16:24.000 At one point it meant something really important.

02:16:26.000 Not really.

02:16:27.000 Because the people that were crying about keeping Portly weird were fake weird.

02:16:31.000 All of them.

02:16:31.000 Every one of them.

02:16:32.000 They're all twats. 1.00

02:16:33.000 But you love Austin so much. 1.00

02:16:34.000 Yeah, but the real weird people, they shut the fuck up and stay weird. 0.99

02:16:38.000 They stay weird. 1.00

02:16:39.000 They don't fucking protest. 0.99

02:16:41.000 They don't get together and make a Facebook page. 0.99

02:16:43.000 Keep Austin weird.

02:16:44.000 Sign up here if you agree.

02:16:46.000 Thumbs up or thumbs down.

02:16:48.000 What's it gonna be?

02:16:48.000 It's a hipster's world, Joe.

02:16:50.000 It's not.

02:16:51.000 It's not.

02:16:51.000 They're only here because of supermarkets.

02:16:53.000 Do you ever see the hipster trap?

02:16:55.000 There would be no hipsters if they had to forage for their own food. 1.00

02:16:57.000 Did you ever see it?

02:16:58.000 It's a bear trap.

02:16:59.000 Supermarkets, you think?

02:17:00.000 The hipster trap is a bear trap, and in the middle is like a six-pack of PBR, a pack of American Spirit Lights, and like Ray-Bans.

02:17:08.000 Okay, now they should do the same thing, but with kale and alkalized water.

02:17:14.000 Veganic.

02:17:15.000 Make sure it's veganic.

02:17:17.000 And the Goodwill Cowboy.

02:17:18.000 Look, I love all those things.

02:17:21.000 P.S. Love me a good thrift store cowboy snap button shirt.

02:17:26.000 Well, I think the inclination behind being a hipster is good. 1.00

02:17:29.000 It's like they want to be above the stupid shit they see every day that's moronic and pedantic. 1.00

02:17:36.000 Is that the word? 1.00

02:17:36.000 No. 1.00

02:17:37.000 Pedestrian shit. 1.00

02:17:37.000 That too. 1.00

02:17:38.000 That works.

02:17:39.000 To brass tacks.

02:17:40.000 You didn't do it, did you?

02:17:42.000 I sure did. 0.94

02:17:43.000 You know, I'm really trying to embrace my Midwestern roots and just fucking go with it, you know? 0.93

02:17:49.000 Brass tags? 0.94

02:17:50.000 No, brass tags.

02:17:51.000 I'm talking about the accent.

02:17:52.000 But you're totally right.

02:17:53.000 You already covered it.

02:17:54.000 You make me want to get Fargo on Netflix.

02:17:56.000 But first of all, I'm not that far west.

02:17:59.000 It's more like, oh my god, go Browns.

02:18:03.000 It's not as like, don't you know?

02:18:05.000 It's not like that.

02:18:06.000 It's more eastern.

02:18:07.000 It's a little less Canada, a little more Rochester.

02:18:10.000 It's a little less disgusting, a little more books. 0.85

02:18:12.000 It's still not sexy.

02:18:13.000 Let's call a spade a spade here.

02:18:15.000 It's not that bad if you can get him out of there.

02:18:16.000 It becomes sexy.

02:18:17.000 It's like, oh my god, oh my god, Joe, you're so hot.

02:18:21.000 That's not sexy.

02:18:21.000 I got tired of teaching ballet.

02:18:23.000 I gotta get out of this fucking town. 1.00

02:18:26.000 She's on the rock and roll tour bus. 1.00

02:18:27.000 Ooh.

02:18:28.000 Hanging out with her first black eye.

02:18:31.000 Are you talking about me?

02:18:32.000 No, no, I brought her to a sitcom. 0.98

02:18:36.000 I was like, wait, I'm lost. 0.96

02:18:37.000 Listen, we just did three fucking hours of a single song, and that's not going to happen. 0.93

02:18:42.000 We can't do that. 0.98

02:18:42.000 No. 0.98

02:18:43.000 Yeah.

02:18:43.000 So what we're going to do, since you guys are...

02:18:46.000 Look, I know how you think.

02:18:48.000 This is what we're going to do.

02:18:49.000 This is no time for driving.

02:18:50.000 We don't have to sing.

02:18:51.000 We could just talk.

02:18:51.000 This is what we're going to do.

02:18:52.000 We're going to take a bathroom break.

02:18:54.000 Yeah.

02:18:54.000 Exactly.

02:18:55.000 See? 0.99

02:18:55.000 And then we'll come back, and we'll do a second podcast where we talk way less shit. 0.99

02:19:02.000 Did we do okay? 0.98

02:19:03.000 Yeah, it was awesome.

02:19:04.000 Do you think we made a bunch of unfans?

02:19:05.000 Well, it's quarter to seven though, right?

02:19:06.000 Non-Rockers? 1.00

02:19:08.000 You're right.

02:19:08.000 Yeah, we got about 20 minutes, right?

02:19:10.000 Yeah.

02:19:10.000 Okay.

02:19:11.000 We got 20 minutes, but I think it'd be better if we did two different podcasts.

02:19:14.000 I think it's cool.

02:19:16.000 We should also talk about our tour.

02:19:18.000 We're on tour right now.

02:19:19.000 We should definitely do that in both podcasts, especially the ones where they get to see how good you guys are.

02:19:26.000 Oh, God.

02:19:26.000 I was like, Ben, we need to talk about the tour and the new video we just talked about.

02:19:30.000 We're good.

02:19:30.000 On the treadmill right now.

02:19:32.000 You fuck! 1.00

02:19:32.000 I've been running for two hours and 20 minutes. 1.00

02:19:35.000 I don't want to hear you talk.

02:19:37.000 Oh.

02:19:37.000 Joe Rogan, make them sing.

02:19:39.000 Shit. 1.00

02:19:40.000 Okay, we can do this. 1.00

02:19:41.000 There's something bad about this.

02:19:42.000 This is all super positive.

02:19:44.000 That's good.

02:19:45.000 So we'll take a little pee break.

02:19:47.000 We're going to take a pee break and we're going to come back.

02:19:50.000 And we're going to come back with a completely different podcast and a totally mellow vibe.

02:19:54.000 We're going to do what Americans in 2015 called Hug It Out. 0.99

02:19:59.000 Oh shit, I love hugs. 0.98

02:20:01.000 And we're going to prepare for the next hour. 1.00

02:20:06.000 The next hour, we're just going to have a good time.

02:20:09.000 So this is bonus footage coming up.

02:20:11.000 I don't know how that's possible. 1.00

02:20:13.000 You fucking monsters. 1.00

02:20:14.000 We'll see you soon. 1.00

02:20:15.000 Bye bye!

The Joe Rogan Experience - September 28, 2015

Joe Rogan Experience #701 - Honey Honey (Part 1)

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