The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #703 - Brian Redban

00:00:00.000 You know when you're ready.

00:00:14.000 Yes!

00:00:16.000 Positive energy!

00:00:18.000 Yes!

00:00:19.000 You got it.

00:00:21.000 We're live, ladies and gentlemen. 0.99

00:00:23.000 We're live on a day where I saw a fucking mountain line on top of a telephone pole today. 0.99

00:00:29.000 What? 0.99

00:00:29.000 Not in real life. 0.99

00:00:30.000 Somebody sent it to me on Twitter, but it felt like I was there. 0.99

00:00:34.000 Have you fucking seen it? 0.99

00:00:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:36.000 Look at my Twitter, Jamie. 1.00

00:00:38.000 There's a mountain line that stayed up on a telephone pole all day on Wednesday, and then this morning it came down.

00:00:46.000 But some screaming school kids.

00:00:49.000 First of all, school kids? 0.97

00:00:50.000 The idea that little kids could be so goddamn close to a murderous, monstrous, 150-pound cat that it has to run up a pole. 0.90

00:01:00.000 And then the fact that it was up on that pole for an hour and a half and people didn't have the good sense to shoot it. 0.96

00:01:05.000 Oh my god.

00:01:07.000 Where was this at?

00:01:08.000 It was in California.

00:01:11.000 Jesus.

00:01:12.000 What part of California?

00:01:13.000 Victorville.

00:01:14.000 Yeah, that ain't, you know, that's like people live there. 1.00

00:01:18.000 Fuck that thing. 1.00

00:01:20.000 Oh my god, look at it, it's hanging on top of a pole like no big deal. 1.00

00:01:25.000 And I guess it's just gonna climb down with its claws. 0.71

00:01:28.000 Imagine, it's a 150 pound animal that can climb trees with its claws.

00:01:34.000 Just runs up the top of that pole and sits up there.

00:01:38.000 It's totally chill, just hanging.

00:01:39.000 There's no way for it to be electrocuted also because there's no ground.

00:01:42.000 Is that why?

00:01:45.000 Yeah, I don't know how that works either.

00:01:46.000 It's like magic.

00:01:47.000 Your foot's on the ground, but yet that pulls on the ground.

00:01:50.000 It's always like, don't touch the third rail.

00:01:51.000 Okay.

00:01:52.000 Well, how does that work?

00:01:53.000 Was that just a rumor about the third rail on the railroad tracks?

00:01:57.000 Because I used to live on a railroad track, pretty much.

00:01:59.000 As a kid, we just played all day on railroad tracks, put things in pennies, got shot by the guys on the train.

00:02:05.000 They shot at you?

00:02:05.000 Salt pellet guns.

00:02:07.000 Really?

00:02:07.000 Yeah, because you're not supposed to be on the train track, and we would put things on.

00:02:10.000 So they would just sit there, and I think it was more just to scare you, but they would shoot these salt bullets at you or something like that.

00:02:17.000 Well, a lot of people die by committing suicide on your train tracks.

00:02:21.000 But train tracks, that's not the third rail.

00:02:24.000 The third rail is like subway stations.

00:02:26.000 Train tracks are not electrical.

00:02:28.000 I mean, the track's just a piece of metal.

00:02:31.000 Right.

00:02:31.000 The real ones are the ones that are in Subway somehow or another.

00:02:35.000 I don't know which ones are...

00:02:36.000 Yeah, because that's actually electricity.

00:02:38.000 Yeah.

00:02:38.000 People have definitely died from that, though.

00:02:40.000 They've definitely died from that, I think.

00:02:42.000 Did you live by a train track growing up?

00:02:43.000 Close enough.

00:02:45.000 I used to take the T into Boston when I was a kid, like when I was in high school.

00:02:49.000 I only had to walk like a mile or so. 0.98

00:02:52.000 It sucked fucking hardcore in the winter, though. 0.99

00:02:55.000 Whew. 1.00

00:02:56.000 God damn. 0.99

00:02:57.000 They're like, when I think about winter today, I think about the fact that people in Boston are just about to go through it. 1.00

00:03:03.000 Like right now, today's October 1st.

00:03:05.000 That means it's just going to start chilling out right now.

00:03:08.000 Now it's just going to start getting a little uncomfortable, but not bad.

00:03:11.000 A little brisk.

00:03:12.000 Not bad.

00:03:13.000 A little morning brisk.

00:03:14.000 Get you a cup of coffee.

00:03:15.000 But they're a month or two away from experiencing that bone-jarring cold that you only get in the Northeast.

00:03:22.000 That wet, wet ocean water cold.

00:03:28.000 The world is different than our world, man.

00:03:30.000 The world is different than our world.

00:03:31.000 When you go down there, when you go to Boston, you do gigs up there, New Hampshire, those are harder people. 1.00

00:03:39.000 They have to overcome way more shit. 0.99

00:03:41.000 Like the stereotype of the California person, like the slacker, like, you know, whatever, dude. 1.00

00:03:47.000 It's a new big deal, dude.

00:03:48.000 Like, that's what people think of when they think of Californians. 1.00

00:03:51.000 It's because we don't have to deal with that winter shit. 1.00

00:03:53.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:03:53.000 Well, this one where we might be dealing with El Nino. 0.99

00:03:56.000 Super El Nino is what they're saying that we're going to get.

00:03:58.000 Yeah, I heard that. 0.91

00:03:59.000 I mean, it has been humid as fuck out here lately. 0.95

00:04:02.000 I hope they're right. 0.96

00:04:03.000 We need it.

00:04:03.000 Yeah.

00:04:04.000 I mean, I think, isn't that how it always works?

00:04:06.000 Unless things, I say always works, but unless things turn into deserts.

00:04:09.000 Because deserts didn't always used to be deserts.

00:04:12.000 Like, I think even the Sahara at one point in time was like lush.

00:04:16.000 And that's the whole take on the Sphinx.

00:04:19.000 Like, the guys who want to backdate the Sphinx, they've brought in these geologists, specifically this guy named Dr. Robert Schock from Boston University.

00:04:30.000 And he thinks that the water erosion on the container or the...

00:04:37.000 The chamber, the temple, the Sphinx, I think they're calling it.

00:04:42.000 And it's where they carve the Sphinx out of the ground.

00:04:44.000 The whole temple area where the Sphinx is.

00:04:48.000 These stones that are carved that have all these water erosion marks all over them.

00:04:53.000 Like the deep fissures where water cuts through a crack in the rock and does so for thousands of years.

00:05:00.000 So this is like thousands of years of rainfall that's caused this water erosion.

00:05:05.000 And the problem with that is the last time there was rainfall in the Nile Valley was like 9,000 BC. Or 9,000 years ago, I think it is.

00:05:14.000 So it's like 7,000 BC. So that was like the last time there was rainfall there.

00:05:17.000 So it had to have been several thousand years before that of it raining on those rocks to create that kind of erosion before that place became a desert.

00:05:26.000 So that's the thing about California, man.

00:05:28.000 It could easily become a desert.

00:05:30.000 Well, there was a...

00:05:31.000 I just sent you a link.

00:05:33.000 There was a lake in California that's really popular in Westwood, California, Walter Lake.

00:05:39.000 The other night, just overnight, the whole lake drained out.

00:05:42.000 It emptied out.

00:05:43.000 Is that true?

00:05:44.000 That's been proven?

00:05:45.000 Yeah.

00:05:45.000 I saw that article and I thought, well, I don't know about this.

00:05:48.000 Is this real?

00:05:49.000 It was like one of those, you know, Bob's News Reviews or something.

00:05:53.000 Yeah.

00:05:54.000 Is that a website?

00:05:54.000 It was KTVN actually went in there and interviewed them, and there are thousands of fish.

00:06:01.000 I don't know if you saw the photo, it's just a photo of tons of dead fish.

00:06:04.000 So what do they think happened?

00:06:07.000 They pretty much just say, we're out of water.

00:06:09.000 California lake disappears overnight, leaves behind thousands of fish. 0.99

00:06:14.000 Wow, that's like some Marky Mark movie apocalypse shit. 0.98

00:06:16.000 Look at this, there's a video right here. 0.99

00:06:18.000 Just... 1.00

00:06:19.000 That's fucked. 1.00

00:06:20.000 And this was like, I mean, this is not a small thing. 1.00

00:06:24.000 It's 170 acres reservoir.

00:06:27.000 Wow.

00:06:29.000 170 acre reservoir, and it's just overnight?

00:06:31.000 Yeah.

00:06:32.000 And where'd the water go?

00:06:32.000 It just went in the hole?

00:06:34.000 I think it went down.

00:06:37.000 But how could it go down that low that quick?

00:06:39.000 I don't understand.

00:06:40.000 I think that's pretty much it.

00:06:42.000 Reservoir runs dry.

00:06:44.000 Wow.

00:06:44.000 There's nothing there.

00:06:45.000 Look at all those fish. 1.00

00:06:46.000 That's fucked. 1.00

00:06:48.000 God, the smell. 1.00

00:06:49.000 What a terrible way to die for them.

00:06:51.000 Yeah, and I guess they said if they had a two-week notice, they could have taken all the fish and saved them and moved them to another lake or something like that.

00:07:00.000 Well, did they drain this on purpose?

00:07:02.000 No, it just pretty much emptied out.

00:07:07.000 It's kind of confusing how they say it, but they pretty much just say that, no, it's just out of water.

00:07:11.000 We're in a drought.

00:07:12.000 That's just how fast it happens.

00:07:14.000 So it literally can happen like that overnight?

00:07:17.000 I don't understand that.

00:07:18.000 I don't understand that.

00:07:20.000 It doesn't make any sense to me. 0.99

00:07:21.000 But it's a shallow-ass fucking lake, though. 0.99

00:07:23.000 He believes that it may have occurred when a clogged outlet valve was cleared. 0.99

00:07:27.000 Yeah.

00:07:29.000 So, literally, the drain was stuck.

00:07:31.000 They opened up the drain, and now here's your reservoir going through a creek.

00:07:35.000 That's what's going on, right?

00:07:37.000 Yeah.

00:07:38.000 There's a lot of lakes like that in California that could easily run dry.

00:07:41.000 That lake is staic. 0.99

00:07:42.000 That fucker is way smaller than it used to be. 1.00

00:07:45.000 You've been there. 0.99

00:07:47.000 Is there places to stay there?

00:07:48.000 That's like, because I drove by it recently.

00:07:50.000 I think people are allowed to camp there.

00:07:52.000 There's parts where you're allowed to camp. 0.99

00:07:53.000 Good fucking luck with that. 1.00

00:07:55.000 That's sketchy as fuck, dude. 1.00

00:07:57.000 There's a lot of, like, there's places around Lake Castaic. 0.99

00:07:59.000 Lake Castaic is real weird.

00:08:01.000 Like, you get there and you're like, are we in Guatemala?

00:08:04.000 Is this like a, am I at some sort of a food festival in Guatemala?

00:08:08.000 Like, there's these people there that are just, they, you know, families that, like, live in apartments especially. 0.98

00:08:13.000 They fucking I love parks, man. 0.98

00:08:15.000 They get to those parks and they just take over. 1.00

00:08:17.000 They bring their family.

00:08:18.000 They lay out a giant blanket.

00:08:20.000 They start barbecuing. 0.99

00:08:21.000 It's fucking great, man. 0.99

00:08:24.000 It's actually kind of a cool environment, too, for kids. 0.98

00:08:26.000 It's all these different kids from different families.

00:08:28.000 They all get together and there's music playing and people are cooking.

00:08:33.000 People from other countries, they have more of, for whatever reason, they have more of this...

00:08:38.000 This sort of inclination to have these gatherings, these park gatherings.

00:08:43.000 It's pretty badass, man.

00:08:45.000 Sometimes it's badass, other times it's nonsense.

00:08:49.000 It's just like, hey, it's for 40 people to all get together wasted in a park where there's kids.

00:08:55.000 That can happen too.

00:08:56.000 Yeah, that can happen too.

00:08:58.000 Yeah, especially if it's been a hard road getting over here in America. 0.97

00:09:02.000 You're fucking struggling, you got some sort of a shitty job doing construction work under the table for cash, and now here you're at the party, finally, and you're just getting lit. 0.99

00:09:13.000 Screaming and yelling, dancing. 0.99

00:09:15.000 Did you see that concrete on the opposite side of droughts?

00:09:18.000 The concrete that absorbs 880 gallons of water in a minute?

00:09:22.000 It's this concrete they can now put on roads and in parks.

00:09:29.000 So places like Houston or Texas, these flash floods, this actually just absorbs water.

00:09:36.000 This is insane and we're looking at a video now for folks listening to this where there's a giant water truck and the water truck is pouring water onto this parking lot and the water is just disappearing.

00:09:47.000 This is crazy!

00:09:50.000 It's on techinsider.com.

00:09:51.000 Yeah.

00:09:52.000 And I guess this technology's been around for a while.

00:09:54.000 They've just got it good enough to actually use as concrete for cars.

00:10:00.000 Here's how it works.

00:10:00.000 Rather than use sand-based concrete, Tarmac uses something called no-fines concrete.

00:10:06.000 It's made of tiny pieces of crushed granite packed together.

00:10:09.000 While Burgess says the mixture is extremely dry, the pieces are packed loosely enough to allow water to pass through.

00:10:15.000 The system can accommodate three designs, full infiltration, partial infiltration, and full attenuation.

00:10:22.000 Wow. 0.98

00:10:23.000 That's fucking interesting, man. 0.99

00:10:25.000 Wow. 0.99

00:10:26.000 That's smart.

00:10:27.000 Yeah, because places like Houston, like you said, remember, we were there at this, we used to work at this club there.

00:10:34.000 And they would put us up in this...

00:10:36.000 What was it?

00:10:37.000 The Allentown Inn? 0.99

00:10:38.000 What the fuck was the name? 0.99

00:10:39.000 Allentown Parkway, right? 0.99

00:10:40.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:10:41.000 And there was this, like, really fucking sketchy, sketchy hotel they would put you up in. 0.94

00:10:46.000 Where people would, like, knock on your door and ask for crack. 0.97

00:10:48.000 Like, literally.

00:10:50.000 There was this dude...

00:10:51.000 He was walking down the upper...

00:10:54.000 It wasn't a hallway.

00:10:55.000 It was outside.

00:10:55.000 I guess it was like a balcony before he got to the stairs.

00:10:58.000 Because it was a motel, you know.

00:10:59.000 And the guy's walking around the outside.

00:11:01.000 And he goes, man, he goes, where's that dude?

00:11:05.000 And I go, I was like, what?

00:11:06.000 He goes, where's Ed, man?

00:11:08.000 And I'm like, I don't know where Ed is.

00:11:09.000 Come on, man.

00:11:10.000 You know where Ed is.

00:11:11.000 Where's Ed? 0.98

00:11:11.000 I'm like, dude, I don't fucking know where Ed is. 0.98

00:11:14.000 But he was just jonesing. 0.97

00:11:17.000 And he just looked at me and like, this dude's a junkie.

00:11:19.000 He knows where the guy is.

00:11:20.000 Right.

00:11:21.000 Yeah.

00:11:22.000 I've been running into a lot of these junkies lately. 0.80

00:11:24.000 These meth heads. 0.83

00:11:25.000 They're just so out of it.

00:11:27.000 They're not real people when they're on these drugs. 0.99

00:11:29.000 It's ridiculous. 1.00

00:11:31.000 You get pretty fucked up. 1.00

00:11:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:32.000 There was an article in one of the LA magazines about, I forget which magazine, but it was about how a lot of these poor communities in, like, South Central LA, like, cocaine is, like, stupid expensive right now, apparently. 1.00

00:11:47.000 But meth is, like, way more common. 0.66

00:11:50.000 And so they're bringing meth in.

00:11:51.000 And because everybody already has weed, like, the people that were bringing in weed before, they can't make any money off of weed.

00:11:57.000 So now they've switched it to meth. 0.99

00:11:59.000 And all these people are fucked up on meth. 1.00

00:12:02.000 In these, like, really shitty areas and shitty communities. 0.99

00:12:05.000 Yeah, cutting coke with meth, I guess, is a thing also now that people are doing because coke's so expensive. 0.97

00:12:11.000 So it's like you're buying coke, but the next thing you know, you're a meth head.

00:12:15.000 Yeah, you think you're doing coke and you're getting meth.

00:12:18.000 I mean, anybody could think that somehow or another...

00:12:21.000 We wouldn't at least be helping people actually get whatever they think they're getting by making this stuff legal.

00:12:29.000 Like the idea that a grown adult tells another grown adult they can't do cocaine to me is mind-boggling.

00:12:34.000 The fact that we have all this other stuff that you can do and you just arbitrarily, no cocaine.

00:12:40.000 Do you think cocaine will ever become legal?

00:12:42.000 It should totally be legal.

00:12:44.000 It should be legal.

00:12:45.000 I think less people would do it.

00:12:47.000 I really do.

00:12:49.000 I think more people would be aware.

00:12:50.000 Alcohol is one of the most destructive to your body, destructive to society, destructive to your behavior and the kind of activities you engage in, drunk driving, violent altercations.

00:13:05.000 Being drunk can be horrible.

00:13:07.000 It can wind up terrible.

00:13:08.000 And it's completely pervasive.

00:13:11.000 It's everywhere.

00:13:12.000 It's so prevalent.

00:13:13.000 You can get booze in family restaurants. 1.00

00:13:17.000 You can go to a family restaurant and get fucked up. 1.00

00:13:20.000 You know, I mean, you could get fucked up to the point where you fall asleep, drive, and you kill a bunch of people. 1.00

00:13:25.000 100% you could do that. 1.00

00:13:26.000 You could get the drug of choice, the most destructive drug, at every CVS, every pharmacy, every supermarket. 1.00

00:13:34.000 Every supermarket you go to, you can get fucked up.

00:13:37.000 You go down that liquor aisle, you just grab bottles, throw them in your cart, you could drink them in the car, and you would never be able to drive home. 1.00

00:13:44.000 Like, instantly, you'd be fucked. 0.99

00:13:47.000 And it's legal. 1.00

00:13:47.000 The idea that cocaine's not legal is silly. 1.00

00:13:50.000 I wouldn't do it.

00:13:52.000 I would try it.

00:13:53.000 I think I would definitely try it.

00:13:54.000 I would try it just if I knew it was absolute cocaine.

00:13:58.000 Because, like, Tom Sawyer from the Punchline in San Francisco, from Cobbs, remember Tom?

00:14:04.000 He was always talking about rockstar cocaine.

00:14:06.000 Like, I did rockstar cocaine with Kinison.

00:14:08.000 And I'm like, what's rockstar cocaine?

00:14:10.000 He was talking about it like it was like someone talking about the days back when Jesus was around.

00:14:16.000 He was like, we would do it.

00:14:17.000 You'd be great.

00:14:18.000 And after it was over, you'd just go to sleep.

00:14:20.000 And I was like, what?

00:14:22.000 And he's like, yeah, it would wear off.

00:14:23.000 It wouldn't give you a hangover.

00:14:25.000 He was talking about this fantasy land.

00:14:28.000 Cocaine.

00:14:29.000 It sounded like non-destructive, not bad for you.

00:14:33.000 Probably get a lot done.

00:14:34.000 I want to know what rockstar...

00:14:36.000 Because cocaine just makes you more awake.

00:14:39.000 I mean, so rockstar cocaine just makes you even more awake? 0.93

00:14:42.000 I think the idea is that the cocaine you're getting when you go to a regular place and you're partying, Is half speed or 20% speed or 5% speed or whatever the fuck it is. 0.95

00:14:55.000 It's stomped on. 0.92

00:14:56.000 It's cut up.

00:14:57.000 But the rockstar cocaine is pure cocaine.

00:15:00.000 And when you get pure cocaine, this idea is that it's a better experience.

00:15:03.000 Yeah.

00:15:04.000 And most of the cocaine, you just immediately are shitting every 10 minutes every time you do it because it's cut with laxatives or...

00:15:10.000 Well, you smoke crack.

00:15:12.000 I found out I didn't smoke crack just the other day.

00:15:15.000 That's so funny you said that because I found out that what it was, somebody was talking about freebasing cocaine, which is where you cook it with baking soda and you get the pure, what you're doing is you're extracting the purity of the cocaine.

00:15:29.000 You're extracting the cocaine.

00:15:30.000 That's what I did.

00:15:31.000 It's the same thing.

00:15:32.000 Yeah, that's what I said, but I guess crack is a little bit more mixed with chemical, some kind of hardening chemical or something like that.

00:15:39.000 I don't know.

00:15:40.000 I don't know.

00:15:40.000 I'm pretty sure it's the same thing.

00:15:42.000 And here's the real deal.

00:15:43.000 According to Dr. Carl Hart, one of the guys that I've talked to on occasion, he's a drug expert.

00:15:50.000 He was on the Bill O'Reilly show.

00:15:54.000 We're good to go.

00:15:58.000 We're good to go.

00:16:09.000 Anyway, he was talking about how crazy it is that you get sentenced far more brutally if you get caught with crack and what kind of jail time you're looking at versus getting caught with cocaine.

00:16:22.000 And he's like, it's totally racist because it's the same drug.

00:16:26.000 It's the exact same drug.

00:16:27.000 He's like, there's no difference whatsoever between the two.

00:16:31.000 The experience, the high, if you do one, you do the other.

00:16:35.000 It's the same thing.

00:16:36.000 So the fact that one of them will get you like 10-year mandatory minimum and the other one you're out in like six months or whatever the fuck it would be if you're selling one or the other.

00:16:44.000 I wonder why.

00:16:45.000 It's because you prepared it or something? 0.99

00:16:48.000 No, because they want to put black people in jail. 1.00

00:16:49.000 It's so weird. 1.00

00:16:50.000 It's because they want to put black people in jail. 0.99

00:16:53.000 Wait? 0.99

00:16:53.000 It's just because they're selling it in these crime-filled environments. 0.99

00:16:58.000 So whether or not it's racist or whether it's a response to the environment in which they're selling crack, the idea is if you go into the country club and you're teeing off with Brad at 4 p.m.,

00:17:13.000 you guys are going to do a little bump before... 1.00

00:17:16.000 You're not the guy who is selling crack out of the backseat of his hopped up Nissan and, you know, shooting at people and who knows what the fuck else he's doing, what kind of stupid shit this guy's involved in. 0.99

00:17:30.000 He's creating a nuisance for the neighborhood. 1.00

00:17:32.000 That's the idea.

00:17:33.000 Right.

00:17:34.000 I just wondered, like, legally, how they can make it a difference.

00:17:37.000 It was like, oh, it weighs more or something.

00:17:40.000 You know what I mean?

00:17:40.000 They just make their own rules, dude.

00:17:42.000 The idea of what they can do and not do legally is so fucked up because one of the ways they bust pot dealers is they weigh not just the pot, but they weigh the dirt and the pot that the pot is planted in. 0.97

00:17:53.000 Right. 0.96

00:17:53.000 We're good to go. 0.96

00:18:17.000 There's not even a pound of weed on that stupid plant. 1.00

00:18:19.000 But they'll hit you for 50, and then they'll get you for major possession, major distribution. 1.00

00:18:25.000 It's a goddamn travesty. 0.98

00:18:27.000 The fact that this has been going on for so long, too. 0.99

00:18:30.000 It's into our middle ages.

00:18:33.000 I mean, you and I are both in our 40s now.

00:18:35.000 And we're still living in this ridiculous society that thinks it's okay to lock people in a cage because they decide they want to do this.

00:18:42.000 I want to smoke this. 0.56

00:18:43.000 Or I want to grow that.

00:18:45.000 I want to sell that.

00:18:46.000 You can sell tomatoes, but don't sell weed. 1.00

00:18:49.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:18:50.000 It's stupid. 1.00

00:18:52.000 We're grown adults. 1.00

00:18:54.000 You know, the idea that we're going to go to the grave and the world that we leave behind is going to be just as fucking stupid as it was when we were in high school. 1.00

00:19:01.000 That's infuriating to me. 0.99

00:19:04.000 You know, and I don't think that making cocaine legal or a bunch of people doing cocaine is going to help anything.

00:19:09.000 I certainly don't think that.

00:19:11.000 But if it does help one thing, it'll help people recognize what coke really is. 0.87

00:19:15.000 Like, if you see someone who's fucked up that's a drunk, like, you go, like, I've seen people at bars, I'm like, I am not fucking drinking.

00:19:22.000 Like, I don't want to be that guy, you know? 0.99

00:19:24.000 And like, I think we, that's a big part of how people learn, is watching people around us fuck up. 0.97

00:19:31.000 When no one around you fucks up, that's when you have this distorted perception of what's going on. 0.97

00:19:38.000 Having no real understanding of what the effects of cocaine are on a one-to-one basis.

00:19:44.000 If you saw it, if you saw someone that you know doing it, or if you did it You would know.

00:19:49.000 Like right now, it's got too much myth behind it. 0.98

00:19:52.000 You know, it's part of the fucking Scarface thing. 1.00

00:19:55.000 You know, like you're fucking, I don't give a shit, bro. 1.00

00:19:59.000 I'm doing coke. 1.00

00:20:01.000 You know, it's not just that you're doing this speedy drug.

00:20:05.000 It's also that you're being a bad boy or a bad girl doing that coke. 1.00

00:20:10.000 Well, it is a lot of undressing all the shit we grew up on and feared. 1.00

00:20:15.000 We grew up thinking weed was the worst thing ever. 0.99

00:20:18.000 Same thing with cocaine.

00:20:20.000 And it is now that we have the internet and everything right at our fingertips that we're learning like, oh, wait a second.

00:20:27.000 Cocaine is not even a Schedule 3 drug or whatever it is.

00:20:30.000 I think it's Schedule 2. It is.

00:20:31.000 Yeah, because it has medical uses.

00:20:33.000 Right.

00:20:34.000 Here's a fun fact about cocaine.

00:20:36.000 Coca-Cola is made with cocaine.

00:20:39.000 Coca-Cola was always made with cocaine back in the day, and it had actual cocaine in the coke.

00:20:45.000 Now, part of the flavor in Coca-Cola comes from the cocoa leaves.

00:20:50.000 So they take cocoa leaves, they extract the cocaine, and they use that cocaine from medical cocaine.

00:20:57.000 And then the rest, like the flavoring, some process, goes into Coca-Cola.

00:21:02.000 That's why Coke rules and Pepsi drools. 1.00

00:21:07.000 Where'd you get that from?

00:21:09.000 Because it's got Coke in it.

00:21:10.000 That's hilarious.

00:21:11.000 Plus they have Coke in their name.

00:21:12.000 Pepsi can't take, you know.

00:21:15.000 Coke, even though Coke is like, is universal.

00:21:19.000 Like you can't own Coke.

00:21:21.000 Like if someone like, if cocaine became legal and Coca-Cola was like, we're making our own cocaine.

00:21:26.000 Coke, Coke.

00:21:27.000 Like, they couldn't stop anybody else from calling it Coke, because it's Coke.

00:21:32.000 Like, it's an established name for it. 0.99

00:21:34.000 It's like if somebody tried to patent the word pot, you know, we'd be like, get the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:21:39.000 You can't patent pot, stupid. 1.00

00:21:41.000 I just found there was another thing that was really weird. 1.00

00:21:43.000 It was like Mountain Dew or another soda that also had like a weird history secret.

00:21:50.000 Like, if it was Mountain Dew or...

00:21:52.000 Was it Mountain Dew?

00:21:53.000 Yeah, Mountain Dew is like moonshine.

00:21:55.000 Yeah, it was moonshine.

00:21:57.000 It was moonshine?

00:21:58.000 It's like made to mix with moonshine.

00:21:59.000 Oh, it was designed to mix with moonshine?

00:22:01.000 Well, it's a nickname.

00:22:02.000 Mountain Dew is a nickname in the hills for moonshine.

00:22:06.000 Oh my god, that makes sense.

00:22:08.000 And that's why PDC drinks it every day with...

00:22:11.000 A bottle of Patron. 1.00

00:22:12.000 Here's how fucked up I am. 0.99

00:22:14.000 That makes me want a Mountain Dew. 1.00

00:22:16.000 Makes me want a Mountain Dew with some moonshine.

00:22:18.000 All of a sudden, that's like what I want to drink right now.

00:22:20.000 With real sugar, it's not too bad.

00:22:22.000 It tastes a little bit different.

00:22:24.000 Why don't we have Mountain Dew here?

00:22:25.000 They have the throwback Mountain Dews now. 0.99

00:22:26.000 Let's get Mountain Dew.

00:22:28.000 We have some moonshine already, right?

00:22:29.000 Get the throwback Mountain Dew.

00:22:31.000 We have some fake-ass moonshine, though.

00:22:33.000 No Hillbilly made our moonshine.

00:22:34.000 We have the moonshine they featured on the History Channel. 1.00

00:22:36.000 Those fucking dudes that are... 0.99

00:22:38.000 Yeah, if they sell the same moonshine at Applebee's, you know it's not the real moonshine. 1.00

00:22:43.000 It's like this absence that we got.

00:22:45.000 It's not even absence.

00:22:46.000 We got like grape cider or something.

00:22:48.000 The Applebee's.

00:22:50.000 Yeah, we had real absence once.

00:22:52.000 Remember that in Vancouver? 0.99

00:22:53.000 That was fucked up. 0.99

00:22:54.000 That was weird. 1.00

00:22:55.000 I described it as like a cousin to drunk.

00:22:58.000 It wasn't quite like being drunk.

00:22:59.000 It was like being drunk's cousin.

00:23:02.000 Creepy drunk.

00:23:03.000 It was very strange. 1.00

00:23:05.000 It didn't fuck me up.

00:23:06.000 It was uncomfortable because it was definitely different and I wasn't sure what to expect. 0.57

00:23:11.000 But it wasn't bad.

00:23:13.000 It was definitely a lot like drunk.

00:23:14.000 I would never drive on it.

00:23:16.000 You could definitely tell that you're hindered physically.

00:23:19.000 You're a little...

00:23:22.000 Like, you'd make bad decisions.

00:23:23.000 But it wasn't, it was just, it was definitely different, though.

00:23:26.000 I wonder if I'm right.

00:23:28.000 I wonder if, you know, like, you could talk to, like, a Dr. Carl Hart type guy.

00:23:31.000 He was like, nah, it's all in your head. 0.96

00:23:32.000 It was basically just like being drunk, just with a shitty flavor. 0.94

00:23:36.000 Yeah, I wonder half of it might be just, like, your myth or what you think it is.

00:23:40.000 Because, I mean, back in the day, they used to say you used to trip from drinking Absinthe, but nowadays you don't hear that anymore, but...

00:23:45.000 Maybe they're not getting the good stuff, right? 0.98

00:23:47.000 What the fuck is wormwood, right? 0.94

00:23:49.000 That's what they use to make absinthe? 0.98

00:23:53.000 Right?

00:23:53.000 I don't know.

00:23:54.000 Boy, we're uninformed.

00:23:55.000 Pull all this up, Jamie.

00:23:57.000 I had to put it over sugar cubes or something to activate some sort of...

00:24:00.000 There's something like that.

00:24:02.000 But the stuff that we had...

00:24:03.000 Yeah, they did do it over sugar, didn't they?

00:24:05.000 Yeah.

00:24:06.000 I forget how they did it.

00:24:07.000 And it tastes like licorice.

00:24:08.000 It was a long time ago.

00:24:10.000 Where was that?

00:24:10.000 Seattle?

00:24:11.000 No, I believe that was Vancouver because it's legal up there.

00:24:15.000 That was the deal, that it was up in Canada.

00:24:17.000 It's confirmed that you're 21 years old.

00:24:20.000 Why?

00:24:21.000 Enter liquor.com.

00:24:23.000 Oh, nice.

00:24:26.000 The five biggest absinthe myths.

00:24:29.000 Yeah, so they're pouring it over this sugar cube.

00:24:33.000 What's the myths?

00:24:35.000 And it's turning yellow.

00:24:36.000 Absinthe is hallucinating.

00:24:37.000 That's a myth.

00:24:39.000 Marketers love to capitalize on the product's illicit reputation, but the fact is it's no more likely to make you see things than vodka, whiskey, or tequila.

00:24:50.000 Absinthe was banned because it's hallucinogenic.

00:24:52.000 That's also another myth.

00:24:54.000 If absinthe isn't hallucinogenic, why was it banned?

00:24:59.000 In most European countries and in the US in the early 20th century, absence became a victim of its own popularity when the French wine industry and temperance movement targeted a common scapegoat to promote their respective agendas. 0.97

00:25:13.000 Those cunts. 1.00

00:25:15.000 They did it, those fucks. 1.00

00:25:17.000 The wine industry went after absinthe. 1.00

00:25:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:21.000 Oh my god, you cunts. 1.00

00:25:23.000 That's weird. 0.99

00:25:24.000 In reality, according to Brews, whatever his name is, it was a cheap, adulterated versions of the drink.

00:25:33.000 Oh, it was cheap, adulterated versions of the drink, sold by unscrupulous manufacturers, not unlike bathtub gin during Prohibition that caused the problems.

00:25:44.000 Okay, so they just decided to capitalize on it, sort of the same way a partnership for a drug-free America. 0.54

00:25:50.000 Like, if you don't know, I used to do a bit about the dog, the lady with the talking dog, as many comedians did, but there was a stupidest commercial where the girl would come home from school and the dog would be like, hey, I miss my friend. 0.76

00:26:04.000 Wish you wouldn't get high all the time. 1.00

00:26:06.000 It's the stupidest fucking commercial, isn't it? 1.00

00:26:08.000 But then you find out as stupid as that commercial is that it was made by something called a partnership for a drug-free America Well when you go into that that's where it gets hilarious a partnership for a drug-free America was financed in part at least by alcohol tobacco and pharmaceutical companies so I'm like Alcohol companies talking shit about pot is like hookers doing commercials against strippers. 1.00

00:26:35.000 I'm like, that's literally what it's like. 0.99

00:26:36.000 This is just cutting out the competition.

00:26:38.000 That's all it was. 1.00

00:26:40.000 So we were watching these stupid fucking commercials going, who is making these? 1.00

00:26:44.000 What is this? 1.00

00:26:45.000 What's the agenda?

00:26:46.000 Well, the agenda was to stifle competition.

00:26:49.000 Which is mind-boggling.

00:26:51.000 When you really find out that drug companies that make trillions of dollars selling drugs, if you combine the alcohol, the pharmaceutical industry, and the tobacco industry worldwide, that is trillions of dollars.

00:27:08.000 Trillions.

00:27:08.000 The amount of money is staggering.

00:27:11.000 And those fucks were financing a partnership for a drug-free America. 1.00

00:27:17.000 And they let him! 1.00

00:27:19.000 They fucking let him! 0.99

00:27:20.000 It's hilarious. 1.00

00:27:22.000 It's like a group of murderers banding together to stop the UFC. It's so stupid. 1.00

00:27:28.000 It's so fucking stupid. 1.00

00:27:31.000 Absence in the US isn't real. 1.00

00:27:34.000 Absinthe in the US. A few exceptions aside, the quality and authenticity of the absinthe found in the US market...

00:27:41.000 Huh?

00:27:43.000 The quantity and authenticity is very good, he says.

00:27:47.000 Hmm.

00:27:48.000 What does that mean?

00:27:50.000 Well, he's saying that it's good.

00:27:52.000 I don't get it.

00:27:53.000 In contrast, the EU market remains heavily contaminated with offerings that amount to flavored vodka and green dye posing as absinthe.

00:28:03.000 Did they reverse it?

00:28:05.000 Yeah.

00:28:06.000 It seems like they fucked that paragraph up.

00:28:08.000 Oh, these are myths.

00:28:09.000 So it's saying that the U.S. absence is great.

00:28:12.000 Oh, right, of course.

00:28:12.000 Right, right, right.

00:28:13.000 That's the myth.

00:28:14.000 Oh, okay.

00:28:15.000 So the U.S. absence is good.

00:28:17.000 I forgot that it was all myths.

00:28:18.000 Absence is from the Czech Republic.

00:28:20.000 Not true.

00:28:22.000 Oh, that's a myth too, huh?

00:28:25.000 Blaming sugar cube.

00:28:26.000 It shouldn't be.

00:28:27.000 Classic method of serving absinthe involves slowly dripping water into the spirit, often over a sugar cube held on by a special perforated spoon.

00:28:38.000 But in another tradition that magically appeared in the 1900s, Beru says...

00:28:44.000 1990s.

00:28:45.000 Oh, the 1990s.

00:28:47.000 The sugar is first soaked with alcohol and lit with a match.

00:28:51.000 Though impressive, the fire ritual is really designed to distract from the fact that a cheap and artificial product will not...

00:28:59.000 Loosh? 0.90

00:29:00.000 What's that word?

00:29:02.000 Or turn cloudy with the addition of water like it should.

00:29:06.000 It's not necessary.

00:29:08.000 Okay.

00:29:09.000 Whatever.

00:29:11.000 That should be legal too.

00:29:12.000 Of course, well, it's kind of legal.

00:29:13.000 I guess it is legal now.

00:29:15.000 But all of it should be legal, man. 1.00

00:29:17.000 We're fucking babies. 0.99

00:29:18.000 We're babies over here. 1.00

00:29:19.000 It's ridiculous.

00:29:20.000 Yeah, it's interesting just going through what's going to be next, you know, with marijuana becoming legal more and more places. 0.99

00:29:27.000 Like, what's the next thing that we've been pussies about? 0.95

00:29:31.000 It's probably harder drugs. 0.98

00:29:33.000 It's probably things like Coke.

00:29:34.000 I mean, I think they're going to make some sort of an argument for sure that MDMA should be legal.

00:29:38.000 All the ketamine studies that they're doing now, they're saying that they're going to start using ketamine more and more for depression.

00:29:45.000 Remember Neil Brennan was talking about that, that he does ketamine treatments for depression?

00:29:49.000 Wow.

00:29:50.000 Tranquilizer.

00:29:51.000 It's cat tranquilizer.

00:29:52.000 It's cat?

00:29:53.000 I always thought it was horse.

00:29:55.000 You might be right.

00:29:56.000 It's one of those.

00:29:57.000 I'm pretty sure they use it on cats.

00:29:58.000 I think it's a veterinary tranquilizer.

00:30:00.000 I've done it.

00:30:01.000 It's crazy.

00:30:02.000 It makes it slow motion. 0.99

00:30:04.000 Well, apparently if you do enough of it, you go into other dimensions and shit. 0.99

00:30:07.000 Like Brennan was saying, when he was talking about it, he was saying he got an IV dose of it. 0.99

00:30:12.000 And you are essentially, like, you completely dissolve. 1.00

00:30:16.000 You trip your fucking balls off. 1.00

00:30:17.000 You go into some crazy alternative dimension. 1.00

00:30:20.000 And you're doing it in a doctor's office.

00:30:23.000 This anesthesiologist is treating you for depression with these insane 45-minute ketamine trips.

00:30:29.000 And, you know, he leaves there.

00:30:31.000 He's a little foggy.

00:30:32.000 Comes to the comedy story.

00:30:33.000 He's a little whacked out.

00:30:34.000 But other than that, he's like, my mind is fine.

00:30:36.000 He goes, and I feel really good.

00:30:38.000 I think it's really working.

00:30:39.000 So then I started seeing it popping up all over the place.

00:30:42.000 Excuse me, sorry.

00:30:44.000 Where people are talking about using it for depression, that it's being approved for use for depression.

00:30:49.000 Apparently it's really effective.

00:30:52.000 Psychedelic trips in particular, in general, but ketamine in particular, it's apparently really effective for depression.

00:30:59.000 What do you think about peyote ceremonies?

00:31:02.000 Have you ever done peyote?

00:31:04.000 No, never done it.

00:31:05.000 You're supposed to do it next month and you don't.

00:31:07.000 You should totally do it.

00:31:08.000 You know, it's some form of, it's mescaline, essentially.

00:31:14.000 And it's from the San Pedro cactus.

00:31:17.000 I don't know how they extract it.

00:31:18.000 I don't know how that works.

00:31:19.000 But it's not a hallucinogen per se, I believe.

00:31:24.000 I believe it actually falls into like a stimulant category.

00:31:29.000 I want to say, what is a barbiturate?

00:31:31.000 Barbiturate is like a downer, right?

00:31:33.000 Yeah.

00:31:34.000 Yeah.

00:31:35.000 It's not that.

00:31:36.000 I know it's supposed to make you puke a lot.

00:31:37.000 Does it?

00:31:38.000 I thought then you were going, because I mean, just watching movies, you know, but like natural born killers, you know, they went in that whole like thing where there's flying horses with...

00:31:46.000 If you're into peyote, you're likely to have a dream catcher on your wall.

00:31:52.000 You might have one of those feather tattoos that goes down your arm with a band with some feathers.

00:31:58.000 That was a popular one.

00:32:00.000 Dudes are just really into Native American culture.

00:32:03.000 Did they ever announce why that guy died off of anaconda, whatever?

00:32:08.000 Ayahuasca?

00:32:09.000 Which guy?

00:32:10.000 There was a second death recently of a young kid who died.

00:32:15.000 And they kept the body for, I think, four or five weeks before returning to the United States to the parents.

00:32:21.000 Oh, right.

00:32:22.000 And they were going to test it out to find out why.

00:32:25.000 But, you know, it could have been he mixed it with something else, like an antidepressant, or he...

00:32:29.000 That's probably really dangerous, because I think some medications, if you're taking something that is an antidepressant like SSRI, you're not supposed to do ayahuasca, certain SSRIs.

00:32:42.000 And I think also, if you're taking anything where it gets really dangerous, if you're taking anything that's an MAOI, a monoamine oxidase inhibitor, Which is very common in some forms of medication and it is the reason why you can take ayahuasca in an oral form.

00:33:04.000 So normally when you, like, ayahuasca, when you're taking it, what you're doing is essentially it's like a slow release DMT trip, right?

00:33:12.000 DMT is in so many different plants, it's in hundreds, thousands even, that your body produces something to break it down in your gut. 0.99

00:33:19.000 So if you were eating lettuce, and the lettuce had DMT in it, you'd just trip your fucking balls off, right? 0.99

00:33:25.000 So your body's like, well, this is ridiculous. 1.00

00:33:26.000 We can't just keep tripping every time we have a salad.

00:33:29.000 So your body produces something called monoamine oxidase, and that MAOI is also a part of the ayahuasca mixture.

00:33:42.000 The inhibitor is something called harmine.

00:33:44.000 So what it is is it inhibits your body's natural production of this stuff that breaks down DMT. So it allows it to get into your bloodstream and you have this wild crazy trip.

00:33:53.000 But apparently that same active ingredient in harmine also exists in a bunch of prescription medications.

00:34:00.000 So if you're on that prescription medication and you go and you take this other stuff as well, you get this overdose effect and it could be super dangerous for you apparently. 0.99

00:34:10.000 Super dangerous to fuck with that stuff too. 0.99

00:34:13.000 Prescription ones and try to make like your own version of ayahuasca, like by taking DMT with an MAOI, like you gotta know what the fuck you're doing. 1.00

00:34:22.000 It can be real, real dangerous. 0.99

00:34:25.000 It can be super, I mean, you're fucking with brain chemistry. 0.87

00:34:28.000 There's one thing if you're doing something that has like thousands of years of history. 0.99

00:34:32.000 Like if you do mushrooms, who the fuck dies for mushrooms? 0.89

00:34:35.000 You have to do the wrong mushrooms. 0.95

00:34:37.000 If you're getting mushrooms from a reputable source, Not like there is one, but if you know what you're doing and you get mushrooms, you grow them yourself, let's say, it's just mushrooms.

00:34:49.000 Like, you know what to expect. 0.92

00:34:50.000 Like, you can get really fucked up, but you're gonna live, right? 0.99

00:34:54.000 But when you start fucking with, like, pharmaceutical drugs and pills and extracts and who knows, man? 0.99

00:35:01.000 Who knows? 1.00

00:35:02.000 You could run into some shit. 0.99

00:35:04.000 You know, again, it's part of the problem with things being illegal, is that we don't know exactly... 1.00

00:35:10.000 How many people don't even know that when you eat weed, you're tripping your fucking balls off on this 11-hydroxy metabolite? 0.99

00:35:17.000 You're not even getting, like, the THC. How many people know that? 0.99

00:35:20.000 Very few people do.

00:35:22.000 That's why it's so much stronger when people freak out about how strong pot cookies are.

00:35:26.000 It's not even weed.

00:35:27.000 It's not even the same drug as smoking it.

00:35:29.000 The reason why we don't know is because it's illegal.

00:35:32.000 They should be teaching that in school.

00:35:34.000 They teach you in school like how many ounces of alcohol you could have for 100 pounds of body weight in order to worry, you know, like if you could drive, like you could have six ounces of beer and then you could drive.

00:35:45.000 If you get over that, now you start getting into the illegal area.

00:35:49.000 Everybody kind of knows, right?

00:35:51.000 Everybody kind of knows, like two beers, you're getting close to the line.

00:35:54.000 Have you had two beers in the span of half an hour?

00:35:57.000 You might be close to the illegal driving line, right?

00:35:59.000 But what is it with eating weed?

00:36:02.000 What is it, you know, what is it with smoking weed? 0.98

00:36:04.000 We don't fucking know. 0.92

00:36:05.000 I mean, everybody has their own tolerance, for sure, but we don't, there's no, like, established number that everybody knows. 0.98

00:36:11.000 Like, oh, if you eat this, how many milligrams have you had?

00:36:14.000 Ten?

00:36:15.000 Oh, you're fine.

00:36:16.000 Because of the fact that it's illegal, there's all this guessing, and you gotta, it takes a long time to figure it out.

00:36:22.000 You gotta talk to a bunch of different people and get answers.

00:36:25.000 Don't talk to Joey Diaz.

00:36:26.000 Don't talk to Joey Diaz.

00:36:27.000 He's throwing off the curve. 1.00

00:36:28.000 Joey Diaz, don't worry about it, cocksucker. 1.00

00:36:30.000 Eat another one. 1.00

00:36:31.000 You're going to walk on ice.

00:36:32.000 You might as well dance.

00:36:33.000 I saw him the other day on Periscope just eating.

00:36:36.000 He's like, all right, here, Lee, take this.

00:36:38.000 And he's like, they're eating just tons of edibles.

00:36:40.000 And then they're like, all right, Lee, you've never done acid?

00:36:42.000 Well, open up your tongue.

00:36:43.000 Here's that. 0.68

00:36:44.000 And they just drop acid and ate a shitload.

00:36:48.000 Yeah, Joey goes so deep.

00:36:50.000 He's not even experiencing reality as we know it.

00:36:53.000 I know.

00:36:53.000 Like, his reality is just very different right now.

00:36:56.000 And poor Lee.

00:36:57.000 This guy's like, well, I guess acid eating that much is normal.

00:37:00.000 He enjoys it.

00:37:01.000 He's turning him into a Joey Diaz.

00:37:02.000 Yeah, but listen, man.

00:37:04.000 Think about if you're Lee, right? 0.61

00:37:06.000 Nice kid.

00:37:07.000 Very smart guy.

00:37:08.000 He's a sweetheart.

00:37:10.000 Funny on the show. 1.00

00:37:11.000 And this fucker has stumbled into a partnership with the funniest man that's ever lived. 0.99

00:37:17.000 So he has this podcast with the funniest man that's ever lived. 0.99

00:37:20.000 What does the funniest man that's ever lived do?

00:37:22.000 He doses him every day.

00:37:25.000 Joey Diaz doses that guy with like 500 milligram Chibichus. 0.98

00:37:29.000 He'll take the wrapper off of a fucking 200 milligram Chibichu, put a 500 milligram in there, wrap it back up, and hand it to him. 1.00

00:37:37.000 Eat it, dog. 1.00

00:37:38.000 The mild, the mild, the lying about the fucking number. 1.00

00:37:41.000 $200. 1.00

00:37:41.000 It's normal. 1.00

00:37:42.000 They're lying about the number.

00:37:43.000 They say 200. Get the fuck out of here, 200. With your fucking faggy 200. I had like a 40 the other day or something like that. 1.00

00:37:51.000 I was fucked up. 0.98

00:37:53.000 I can't believe that Lee thinks 200 is a normal number. 1.00

00:37:58.000 Yeah, those guys go deep.

00:38:00.000 Well, you know what happens?

00:38:01.000 They start doing it on a regular basis and then you get used to that Insane experience.

00:38:08.000 You know, Joey's used to that insane experience.

00:38:12.000 He's used to just being just deep in the hole.

00:38:15.000 Like the Alice in Chains song.

00:38:17.000 Down in the hole.

00:38:20.000 It's like he's doing it, he's getting like a narcotic effect, you know?

00:38:25.000 I mean, you gotta think about like Joey's history.

00:38:28.000 You know, Joey's whole life, he's done some sort of drugs.

00:38:33.000 And now, all he does is smoke weed.

00:38:35.000 But his whole life, he's done like horrible drugs.

00:38:39.000 You know, like terrible, terrible drugs.

00:38:42.000 And a lot of coke.

00:38:43.000 The coke was probably the good one. 1.00

00:38:45.000 You know, he did a lot of crazy shit. 0.99

00:38:47.000 And so for him, I think he probably misses that complete, total escape from reality that you could get when you eat 500 milligrams of Chiba Chus. 1.00

00:38:59.000 You're going down, man.

00:39:02.000 The world...

00:39:04.000 The world will become paper thin, walls will crumble in front of you like they're made out of dust, and you'll just be looking over the landscape that is the impending doom of your own body and society and the death of your wife and children and your friends and everyone dying.

00:39:23.000 You're going to see that. 0.99

00:39:25.000 That's what you're going to see on those goddamn podcasts. 0.99

00:39:27.000 Chibichu 500 milligram Death Stars. 0.99

00:39:29.000 He had two Death Stars the other day.

00:39:32.000 Two.

00:39:32.000 Two Death Stars.

00:39:34.000 Two.

00:39:34.000 I've never even heard of anybody eating two of those things.

00:39:37.000 You ever heard of the Death Star?

00:39:39.000 No.

00:39:39.000 Oh my God.

00:39:40.000 What is it? 1.00

00:39:41.000 There's some fucking thing that these guys in Northern California make. 0.99

00:39:44.000 I think the same guys who make the gummy bears make the Death Stars. 0.99

00:39:48.000 And they're supposed to be so bad.

00:39:50.000 Joey was trying to give one to Alex Jones.

00:39:53.000 Last time we were in Austin together, where's Alex Jones?

00:39:55.000 I gotta get him one of these death stars, Joe Rogan. 0.99

00:39:57.000 I'm gonna get him one of these death stars and I'm gonna fuck him up. 0.99

00:40:00.000 Last time he had like a loaf of bread gummy where he was cutting slices from it. 1.00

00:40:06.000 He's like, let me slice you off one.

00:40:07.000 Let me slice you off one. 1.00

00:40:10.000 Like you're in a fucking deli with him. 1.00

00:40:12.000 Hey, you gotta try this new prosciutto. 1.00

00:40:14.000 I got this new prosciutto. 0.99

00:40:15.000 Oh, this fucking guy knows how to make a good prosciutto. 0.99

00:40:19.000 Yeah, you're slicing paper-thin meat, laying it down. 1.00

00:40:23.000 That stuff's really good.

00:40:24.000 You gave me some truffle the other day from that company in that box right there, and I actually know the people from that company.

00:40:30.000 Jambos.

00:40:30.000 Yeah, they live in Burbank.

00:40:32.000 Yeah, they make great stuff.

00:40:34.000 It's really quality.

00:40:35.000 It's really quality, and the stuff that they're making is all organic.

00:40:39.000 They don't use corn syrup.

00:40:40.000 They don't, like, it's really used honey when they're making their baked goods. 0.99

00:40:44.000 So fucking good. 0.98

00:40:45.000 Where can you get that, Evan? 0.99

00:40:46.000 We'll talk after the show.

00:40:48.000 I don't know if you know about this, but this is on the internet, and we're talking about things that may or may not be legal, federally...

00:40:58.000 Federally.

00:40:59.000 What a creepy situation that is. 0.97

00:41:01.000 The federal government still, like, that's why these guys that are running for president on the Republican side, some of them are so fucking scary.

00:41:09.000 Because if they really do say, do what they say they're going to do, and get into office, and then all of a sudden go after these pot shops, start raiding them. 0.98

00:41:17.000 Like, you're looking at, like, some Civil War shit. 0.98

00:41:20.000 Are they still doing it? 0.99

00:41:21.000 Is it still happening?

00:41:22.000 No one's rating anything, but they're talking about it.

00:41:25.000 This Chris Christie guy, especially.

00:41:27.000 No one thinks he can actually become president, but if he did become president, one of the things that he said he would do is immediately go into Colorado and Washington State and shut down all the pot sales. 0.93

00:41:39.000 Is he the black guy?

00:41:41.000 No, that's Ben Carson. 0.70

00:41:42.000 That's the religious one.

00:41:43.000 He's fascinating, man.

00:41:45.000 That guy's fascinating.

00:41:46.000 I've been paying attention to him a lot lately.

00:41:48.000 He's really interesting.

00:41:50.000 Ben Carson is one of the best pediatric brain surgeons in the world.

00:41:55.000 Like, he has saved conjoined twins when conjoined twins were linked together at the head.

00:42:04.000 Apparently, these kids, they were sharing one artery that's a very important artery.

00:42:11.000 They had, I think, more than 20 different doctors or a bunch of different doctors that worked 20 hours to try to help these kids, and they survived. 0.99

00:42:22.000 They separated their fucking brains. 0.99

00:42:25.000 They were conjoined twins, meaning their bodies are connected together at the head. 1.00

00:42:30.000 And he saved them.

00:42:30.000 Like, he's a brilliant, brilliant man when it comes to that.

00:42:35.000 But then when it comes to, like, evolution...

00:42:37.000 Yeah, Big Bang Theory.

00:42:38.000 Yeah, he believes that Big Bang Theory's a myth.

00:42:40.000 He doesn't believe in evolution.

00:42:42.000 Why is it always like that?

00:42:43.000 It's like, you know, you're so smart in one area, but then you completely misjudge everything in the other area.

00:42:50.000 It's like, it doesn't make sense at all.

00:42:52.000 It doesn't make sense.

00:42:54.000 It's because, you know, we all know people that are really good at one thing and they suck at other stuff.

00:43:01.000 And the more attention you put to this one thing, oftentimes you neglect areas of your life.

00:43:07.000 Like, how many, like, tortured geniuses?

00:43:10.000 That's like a really common term that people love to use.

00:43:13.000 I always torture genius.

00:43:15.000 Someone who's a genius in their musical life, but in their personal life, it's just constant chaos. 1.00

00:43:21.000 They're an asshole and they're screaming at people and throwing things around. 1.00

00:43:24.000 What is that? 1.00

00:43:25.000 What is that?

00:43:26.000 But ultimately, you look at it...

00:43:29.000 If you separate yourself from society's idea of how you should behave or shouldn't behave, and society's idea of what's aesthetically pleasing about some kinds of music and how difficult it is to do, and just look at it outside of culture,

00:43:44.000 right?

00:43:45.000 Well, you look at it like a mathematical problem.

00:43:48.000 You go, well, this is real simple.

00:43:50.000 This guy has resources, right?

00:43:51.000 And he's dumped all the resources into this one thing.

00:43:54.000 Like, running.

00:43:55.000 He's like, he's the best runner of all time.

00:43:57.000 But his personal life is chaos. 1.00

00:43:59.000 His family fucking hates him. 1.00

00:44:02.000 His friends, he's a backstabber. 1.00

00:44:04.000 Like, like the Lance Armstrong situation. 1.00

00:44:07.000 You know, guy is like the baddest fucking biker of all time. 1.00

00:44:10.000 Meanwhile, he's suing people. 0.99

00:44:13.000 The people that are saying that he did drugs, he's like, I'll fucking sue you, I'm suing this person, I'm suing that one. 0.95

00:44:18.000 He's got all this chaos going on. 0.76

00:44:20.000 Like, this overwhelming desire for victory sort of takes over pretty much every aspect of the rest of your life.

00:44:31.000 Like, they say Michael Jordan, you can't even play pool with that guy. 0.99

00:44:34.000 If you beat him in pool, he will fucking hate you. 1.00

00:44:37.000 He hates you. 1.00

00:44:38.000 Because what is his thing?

00:44:40.000 Well, his thing is just winning.

00:44:41.000 His overwhelming thing is winning.

00:44:44.000 And I don't know what he's like in real life, but I haven't heard good things.

00:44:47.000 I've heard like he doesn't tip. 0.98

00:44:48.000 I've heard like weird shit like that, you know? 0.91

00:44:50.000 Like he's not necessarily the nicest guy. 0.97

00:44:53.000 What could that be?

00:44:54.000 Well, it could be like he didn't focus on that.

00:44:56.000 He focused everything on this one thing.

00:44:59.000 Everything on this one thing.

00:45:00.000 This is what's important.

00:45:02.000 I think you get a lot of that with people.

00:45:04.000 I think this Ben Carson guy, he probably focused so much on that that he didn't apply that objective reasoning and that intellect to examining the various aspects of the mythology that he's accepted as his reality.

00:45:21.000 Because Christianity, at the end of the day, with no proof, everything is mythology. 1.00

00:45:26.000 Everything.

00:45:27.000 With no proof.

00:45:28.000 With proof, then you examine the proof.

00:45:30.000 It's super simple.

00:45:31.000 And anybody that argues against that, you're just biased.

00:45:34.000 You have your own ideas. 0.99

00:45:36.000 If you have some proof that there was a God, that this God had one son, and he made this son come down and get the fuck beat out of him and nailed to a board so that we could all have no sin. 0.99

00:45:46.000 Can you show me some studies? 0.97

00:45:49.000 Do you have a box of evidence that you can pull out and we can examine all the different pieces that points to the undeniable conclusion that that's true?

00:45:58.000 Because if you don't, then it's a myth.

00:46:00.000 Then you're believing mythology. 1.00

00:46:02.000 Doesn't mean it's not real, but if you put all your fucking eggs in that basket and you don't have any proof at all, Well, you're entering into this weird world where you don't pay attention to shit. 0.98

00:46:13.000 You're entering into this weird world where you ignore certain aspects of things because you've decided what is and what isn't. 0.99

00:46:20.000 That's not thinking.

00:46:22.000 That's not thinking.

00:46:23.000 It's like it's convenient cookie-holder placement of ideas.

00:46:26.000 It's not thinking.

00:46:27.000 Because if you're thinking, you can't accept it.

00:46:29.000 If you're thinking, you go, wait, what?

00:46:31.000 He came back from the dead?

00:46:32.000 Has anybody ever done that?

00:46:33.000 Three days?

00:46:34.000 He came back from the dead.

00:46:35.000 I don't think you can do that.

00:46:37.000 I mean, that's what people would do normally.

00:46:40.000 But, you know, I went to, my kid had a function today, and I went to this function, and they're all, we're singing God Bless America, and there's like something about heaven in there, and there's school prayer.

00:46:51.000 I'm like, okay, are we teaching people?

00:46:53.000 We're teaching kids things, right?

00:46:54.000 What's heaven?

00:46:55.000 Where is this?

00:46:56.000 Is this a real thing?

00:46:57.000 Are we just pretending heaven's real so the kids feel good and they can get through 12th grade?

00:47:02.000 What are we doing here?

00:47:03.000 What are we doing? 0.97

00:47:04.000 You know, we have to make shit up about stuff that we don't know Instead of just accepting what we do know. 0.96

00:47:13.000 Instead of just celebrating and accepting what we know about life, we have to pretend that there's a heaven. 0.99

00:47:19.000 And you're gonna go to heaven when you die. 1.00

00:47:20.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:47:22.000 Like, you're teaching my kid nonsense. 1.00

00:47:24.000 Why don't you teach him some Rumpelstiltskin shit? 1.00

00:47:27.000 Why don't you make some shit up about leprechauns? 1.00

00:47:29.000 You're making shit up about heaven. 1.00

00:47:31.000 I'm not saying heaven doesn't exist, but you're just making it up. 1.00

00:47:34.000 You're teaching a school, in a class.

00:47:36.000 You're making them, and then in heaven, God in heaven.

00:47:39.000 God in heaven?

00:47:40.000 Where's heaven?

00:47:40.000 Who's God?

00:47:41.000 What are you talking about?

00:47:42.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:47:44.000 You're making up some shit. 1.00

00:47:46.000 You're making up some shit in a school. 1.00

00:47:48.000 Like, and you don't, okay, like if the kid comes to you, like, where is heaven on a map? 0.99

00:47:53.000 Can you take me to, do we have a Google Earth?

00:47:57.000 Can we check out heaven?

00:47:58.000 Can I see the harp?

00:48:00.000 Oh, well, you know, heaven is our heavenly father.

00:48:05.000 That was another thing, heavenly father.

00:48:07.000 Like, our heavenly father?

00:48:08.000 Really?

00:48:09.000 This is what we're teaching in school?

00:48:11.000 Heavenly fathers.

00:48:12.000 How come he's not a chick? 1.00

00:48:13.000 You know?

00:48:14.000 Moms are usually better at raising you than dads. 1.00

00:48:17.000 Dad's working all the time.

00:48:18.000 It is weird that when you have a kid that you do nothing but lie to them their first 10 years of their life.

00:48:24.000 Like about Santa Claus, bunny rabbits, Jesus, monsters.

00:48:29.000 Well, the Jesus thing keeps going.

00:48:30.000 That's the weirdest part of it.

00:48:31.000 And again, it's just not saying that Jesus isn't real.

00:48:34.000 It's just saying, like, if that story existed in any other form other than religion, you'd be like, what?

00:48:41.000 If you looked at that story outside of religion, if it wasn't something that, you know, you made the sign of the cross every morning and went to school and prayed, if you just read the story about a guy who was magic and could turn water into wine,

00:48:57.000 who could...

00:48:58.000 Heal people.

00:48:59.000 What did he do with fish? 1.00

00:49:00.000 Did he fucking give people fish or some shit? 1.00

00:49:02.000 Make some fish? 1.00

00:49:04.000 The whole thing's so stupid. 1.00

00:49:05.000 He'd be like, wait a minute, who told you this? 1.00

00:49:08.000 Well, it's a long story.

00:49:10.000 See, it was actually spoken about for about a thousand years for anybody bothered to write it down.

00:49:15.000 You'd be like, wait, what? 1.00

00:49:17.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:49:18.000 They told it for a thousand years. 1.00

00:49:21.000 The Old Testament, they told the Old Testament for a thousand years.

00:49:24.000 It was spoken.

00:49:27.000 For a thousand years!

00:49:28.000 That's so long! 1.00

00:49:30.000 That's like, just stop and think how fucking stupid that is. 1.00

00:49:35.000 Literally, that would be like going back to the Julius Caesar days. 1.00

00:49:41.000 And Julius Caesar, like a thousand years ago, the Romans were around a thousand years ago, right?

00:49:47.000 No, before that.

00:49:48.000 It'd be like Genghis Khan. 0.95

00:49:50.000 It'd be like Genghis Khan's life and no one bothers to write it down until now. 1.00

00:49:57.000 I mean, that's so stupid! 1.00

00:50:00.000 The idea behind that is so stupid that you could tell a story for a thousand years and get it right when you write it down. 1.00

00:50:07.000 It is interesting, like, you know, Pope, you know, he believes in the Big Bang Theory and evolution's real, so it seems like they kind of have to slowly start accepting everything, but when it comes down to it, they still believe, you know, a magic man, you know, Jesus, flying around with lasers. 0.99

00:50:23.000 I'll tell you what, man, it always weirds me out when they have that guy on TV. It weirds me the fuck out.

00:50:29.000 It weirds me out. 0.51

00:50:30.000 I was watching Colbert.

00:50:31.000 It was so strange, man.

00:50:33.000 It was Colbert and Gaffigan, who I love, Jim Gaffigan, and Maria Shriver and some other weird dude.

00:50:41.000 And they were sitting around talking about what it means to be a Catholic.

00:50:44.000 And I was like, what?

00:50:46.000 Like, what are you talking about?

00:50:48.000 And they were talking about forgiveness, and Catholicism is all about forgiveness, and Maria Shriver is, like, being all proud to be a Catholic, and they're showing the Mass.

00:50:57.000 I'm like, I'm like, hit the brakes.

00:51:00.000 Aren't you grown adults? 0.92

00:51:02.000 Like, you guys are, you're into nonsense? 0.98

00:51:04.000 So you're into nonsense. 0.88

00:51:06.000 Is that what this is? 0.98

00:51:07.000 Because you're showing nonsense. 0.99

00:51:09.000 You get this guy dressed like he's in a fucking Harry Potter movie, and he's standing in front of all these people with a chalice. 0.99

00:51:16.000 He's wearing a cult outfit. 0.99

00:51:18.000 He literally is wearing a cult outfit from a thousand years ago.

00:51:22.000 And you're all sitting there listening to this nonsense. 0.92

00:51:26.000 Total nonsense. 0.93

00:51:28.000 He's not even speaking it in English.

00:51:29.000 And you're there.

00:51:30.000 You're like, yes, we're here.

00:51:32.000 We're here to witness the Holy Father.

00:51:34.000 What? 1.00

00:51:35.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:51:36.000 You're there to witness a guy who works for an organization that owns a building that houses the largest gay bathhouse in Europe. 1.00

00:51:45.000 Yeah, that's what the Vatican owns. 0.99

00:51:47.000 I mean, the whole thing is so fucking ridiculous, and that this guy is meeting with all these people all across America, and they're all so happy to meet the Pope. 0.98

00:51:57.000 This is so amazing, and he listens to people's stories, and he decides whether or not people should be able to get married if they're gay. 0.99

00:52:05.000 It's hilarious.

00:52:07.000 He supported that Kim Davis lady.

00:52:10.000 That lady went to the Vatican. 1.00

00:52:12.000 They had a meeting with her.

00:52:15.000 She got an audience at the Vatican.

00:52:20.000 He told her that he was saying that people shouldn't have to violate their beliefs.

00:52:25.000 So essentially, he was supporting her. 0.73

00:52:27.000 He was supporting her decision not to marry gay people.

00:52:31.000 Yeah, when I first heard it, I wondered if he just pulled her aside and was like, look, man, it's 2015, just let it go.

00:52:36.000 I don't think so. 1.00

00:52:37.000 I think he's probably like, listen, bitch, keep that shit up. 1.00

00:52:39.000 I don't want to marry any dudes. 1.00

00:52:41.000 That's probably what he's like.

00:52:42.000 I want to keep my money.

00:52:43.000 Look at all this money.

00:52:44.000 You want to see my gold? 1.00

00:52:45.000 Take her to a fucking, like, smog's chamber from The Hobbit. 1.00

00:52:50.000 Just gold everywhere, stacked up the ceiling. 0.99

00:52:54.000 Have you seen the footage of him?

00:52:55.000 I smell, huh?

00:52:58.000 Have you seen the footage of him sucking on toes?

00:53:01.000 You know that's a thing?

00:53:01.000 Him?

00:53:02.000 Yeah, that's a thing that he does. 0.99

00:53:03.000 He goes around and sucks on guys' toes. 0.99

00:53:05.000 Come on, son. 1.00

00:53:06.000 I swear to God.

00:53:07.000 How dare you.

00:53:08.000 Come on, what are you talking about?

00:53:10.000 On the news, it's like, Pope visited and blessed all these people, and it's just him kissing toes.

00:53:15.000 Well, I think he shows his humility by kissing your feet.

00:53:18.000 Yeah.

00:53:19.000 It was very gross, though.

00:53:20.000 But dudes?

00:53:20.000 Kissing dudes' feet?

00:53:21.000 Yeah, he was kissing...

00:53:21.000 What part of the foot?

00:53:23.000 It totally depends what part of the foot like if you kiss like my shin my instep my instep I consider a weapon It's like kissing a knuckle, but if you suck on my little pinky toe I have a problem with that.

00:53:36.000 Yeah, I mean I just googled Pope kisses feet and the first thing is humbling moment Pope Francis washes Rome prisoners So it's just him washing a bunch of guys mmm He washes them?

00:53:49.000 Why can't they wash themselves? 0.95

00:53:51.000 What is going on here?

00:53:54.000 I'm washing them for the Lord. 1.00

00:53:56.000 First, I will start with their balls. 0.99

00:53:58.000 Then I wash their taint. 1.00

00:54:01.000 Pope Francis kisses and washes feet of young offenders at Rome prison after mass. 0.99

00:54:07.000 Oh, God damn it. 0.97

00:54:08.000 I remember, it's one of the things that Jesus did as he was growing up. 0.99

00:54:11.000 He washed the feet of them.

00:54:12.000 How convenient.

00:54:14.000 That's how they wrote it.

00:54:15.000 No, look, hold on.

00:54:15.000 It's right here.

00:54:16.000 It says right here, Jesus said, Thou must sucketh the toes.

00:54:21.000 He's getting deep in there. 0.98

00:54:23.000 That's so gross. 0.95

00:54:24.000 He is. 0.98

00:54:24.000 He's deep in there. 0.98

00:54:25.000 Meanwhile, it's an addendum.

00:54:27.000 Look at him.

00:54:27.000 Oh my, here he goes.

00:54:28.000 He's kissing the girls' feet. 0.97

00:54:30.000 Oh, he's washing the girls' feet. 0.50

00:54:31.000 Those are hot feet, though.

00:54:33.000 She's got cute little feet. 1.00

00:54:34.000 That's different.

00:54:35.000 So, foot fetish people must be loving this.

00:54:38.000 Oh, they must be whacking off like crazy to this.

00:54:40.000 Pope?

00:54:41.000 Pope kiss?

00:54:41.000 Pope play?

00:54:43.000 I got introduced to this girl by Chris Ryan, the author of Sex at Dawn. 0.99

00:54:52.000 And he's friends with this girl who, she's like a dominatrix and a humiliatrix. 0.99

00:54:59.000 She humiliates dudes. 1.00

00:55:00.000 And she sells her socks. 0.98

00:55:02.000 And she's got all these pictures on her Twitter of her, like, dirty socks with her foot, like, up to you, like, one sock off, one sock on. 1.00

00:55:09.000 She's like, 300 bucks, buy my socks, you pigs. 1.00

00:55:11.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:55:11.000 Yeah, I know a couple of those girls. 0.99

00:55:15.000 Duncan knew a girl like that for a long time.

00:55:17.000 Remember Munchy Stinch or Stinchy Mouth or whatever her name was?

00:55:20.000 She just, she came to my house to a party one time for his birthday. 0.99

00:55:24.000 What the fuck was her name? 1.00

00:55:26.000 Stinchy Mass Munchy. 1.00

00:55:27.000 Yeah, there was like some, she had some crazy name. 0.87

00:55:30.000 And she had her underwear and it was just like, and this was like, you know, old days.

00:55:34.000 Yeah, it's brown.

00:55:36.000 Ugh.

00:55:38.000 Yeah, well she would have deals where she would have to wear her socks like many days in a row so they would really stink. 1.00

00:55:44.000 And then she would sell them.

00:55:45.000 Duncan's girl did.

00:55:46.000 She would like have deals like, I gotta wear them for three days. 1.00

00:55:49.000 She'd be like, I'm gonna walk my dog and get these socks nice and stinky. 1.00

00:55:55.000 It's like she would just be walking around.

00:55:57.000 And socks, you know, here's something weird. 0.99

00:56:01.000 Socks, like cotton socks, stink so fucking bad. 0.97

00:56:04.000 The worst, though, is like plastic. 0.99

00:56:06.000 You ever have like some sort of nylon material in the socks?

00:56:09.000 I've had athletic socks that were so bad.

00:56:12.000 Like I'd wear them for a couple hours and they would just fucking reek where I'd have to throw my sneakers in the washing machine.

00:56:18.000 Like, what's that smell? 0.94

00:56:19.000 But what doesn't smell is wool.

00:56:22.000 When I go hunting, we can wear the same socks.

00:56:25.000 I'll wear the same socks for days in a row.

00:56:28.000 Days in a row.

00:56:29.000 They don't stink.

00:56:30.000 It's weird, because it's wool.

00:56:32.000 Somehow or another, wool...

00:56:33.000 Here's another thing about wool.

00:56:35.000 Merino wool, especially, I guess, maybe all wool.

00:56:38.000 But when it gets wet...

00:56:40.000 You stay warm. 1.00

00:56:42.000 Whereas like if cotton gets wet, you're fucked. 0.98

00:56:44.000 Like so when you hunt, a lot of times it's cold as shit out, but you're dressed heavily and you're walking like up hills and you heat up and you start sweating. 0.99

00:56:55.000 Well, if you're wearing cotton, it's really fucking dangerous because that's how people get hypothermia. 0.98

00:57:00.000 They start walking, they walk up hills and then they sit down and they fucking freeze to death. 0.97

00:57:05.000 Because your whole body is like soaking wet from walking and then you sit and you're like, oh Jesus, like you get tired and you can't go on anymore. 0.96

00:57:13.000 Well, you got wet clothes on, man.

00:57:15.000 You got to make a fire to dry your clothes off.

00:57:17.000 You got to take your clothes off and dry them by the fire or you're not going to make it.

00:57:20.000 But if you have wool on, it's crazy.

00:57:22.000 You could be wet and you're still warm.

00:57:25.000 It's real weird.

00:57:26.000 It's a non-synthetic.

00:57:28.000 It's a biological hair.

00:57:32.000 Because its wool is lamb's wool, because it's coming, you know, it's lamb's hair. 0.91

00:57:36.000 It preserves heat better, and it, like, the reaction that it has to moisture is completely different.

00:57:45.000 It, like, retains heat.

00:57:47.000 It's real weird.

00:57:48.000 You'd think it would make it stinkier.

00:57:50.000 Yeah, you would think so.

00:57:51.000 You'd think it would smell like a dead sheep or something, right?

00:57:53.000 Yeah.

00:57:54.000 Sheep funk.

00:57:55.000 But it doesn't, man.

00:57:56.000 It's like one of the best ways to prevent your body from really stinking when you go on these trips.

00:58:02.000 Because when we were in Montana the first time, when I got that deer right there, we were outside for five days, six days without a shower.

00:58:11.000 And I'm sure I didn't smell great, for sure. 0.98

00:58:14.000 You know, especially my butt. 0.98

00:58:16.000 I mean... 0.99

00:58:17.000 I was just shitting in a hole in the ground and taking toilet paper and then we'd light the toilet paper on fire to burn it off. 0.97

00:58:26.000 That's what you would do. 1.00

00:58:28.000 My asshole must have just been a disaster. 1.00

00:58:30.000 Oh, God. 1.00

00:58:31.000 Lucky I don't have to look at it, though.

00:58:34.000 But...

00:58:35.000 After five days of being in the woods like that, I had the same clothes on for five days.

00:58:43.000 It wasn't that hard.

00:58:44.000 I didn't have to pry them off my skin.

00:58:47.000 You know how that gets your socks sometimes?

00:58:49.000 At the end of the day, you have to pry them away from the bottom of your skin. 0.97

00:58:53.000 It's like they stick in the pores.

00:58:55.000 And then they become hard, like crunchy.

00:58:58.000 Where's the crunchy come from?

00:59:00.000 That was in your foot?

00:59:01.000 Well, it's toxins, man.

00:59:04.000 It's toxins.

00:59:05.000 It's foot toxins.

00:59:06.000 Someone was trying to tell me that.

00:59:07.000 They go to some place.

00:59:09.000 It might have been Joey.

00:59:10.000 They go to some place.

00:59:11.000 They put your foot in this bath. 0.99

00:59:12.000 Yeah, it's Joey.

00:59:13.000 And the toxins come out, and it's black.

00:59:15.000 It's black in the bottom.

00:59:16.000 I'm going to go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1.00

00:59:17.000 What fucking toxins are in your butt? 1.00

00:59:20.000 What are you eating? 1.00

00:59:20.000 Charcoal? 1.00

00:59:21.000 Like, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

00:59:23.000 I've always wanted to see if that's real. 0.99

00:59:24.000 I don't know.

00:59:25.000 He always talks about that.

00:59:26.000 It's not real.

00:59:27.000 I think it's a trick.

00:59:29.000 Someone told me about the trick, too.

00:59:31.000 Someone explained to me what the trick is.

00:59:32.000 It's like some sort of a chemical that they put in the water, and there's a chemical reaction to your skin, and it makes this black color.

00:59:39.000 And you start thinking, oh my god, the toxins are coming out. 0.99

00:59:44.000 Kara Santa Maria is pretty funny about that shit, man. 1.00

00:59:46.000 You know, she's so smart. 1.00

00:59:47.000 She's a scientist. 1.00

00:59:48.000 She goes, it's one of the surefire ways to tell someone that's full of shit. 1.00

00:59:53.000 They start talking about cleansing. 1.00

00:59:55.000 They start talking about toxins and cleansing.

00:59:57.000 And she's like, wait, wait, wait, what?

01:00:00.000 What is going on here with your toxins?

01:00:02.000 Yeah, the brown water is probably your dirty feet.

01:00:05.000 She probably washed your feet for you. 1.00

01:00:08.000 No, I think there's an actual black... 0.96

01:00:10.000 Like a pill or something?

01:00:11.000 Yeah, there's like something that they put in the water, and when your feet react to it, it just makes this black liquid.

01:00:18.000 It's not toxins.

01:00:20.000 Can you imagine if that's all it took?

01:00:22.000 You soak your feet, and the blackness comes out of you. 0.99

01:00:26.000 You see like little demons fucking swirling around the water. 0.99

01:00:29.000 The spirits, they're leaving your feet! 1.00

01:00:32.000 They hide out in your feet.

01:00:34.000 That's why your feet hurt at the end of the day.

01:00:36.000 It's ghosts.

01:00:39.000 I had a weird thing happen to me the other day.

01:00:41.000 I don't know if I told you about my vision.

01:00:43.000 I just started tripping out of nowhere.

01:00:46.000 Yeah, I did hear about that.

01:00:48.000 My eyes weren't...

01:00:49.000 The light wasn't hitting my eyes right.

01:00:53.000 My eyes weren't adjusting to light right.

01:00:55.000 So if I looked at my arm and I waved my arm, it looked like there was a blue line around it at points.

01:01:01.000 Very...

01:01:06.000 We're good to go.

01:01:10.000 We're good to go.

01:01:19.000 And somebody said they think it's an ocular migraine, which is a migraine that you don't have a headache, but your eyes, from stressing it, looking at computers or lack of sleep, that happens.

01:01:31.000 But I've had it happen twice in a month.

01:01:33.000 That makes sense.

01:01:34.000 If it happens once, it means your eyes are weak.

01:01:38.000 By whatever you're doing. 0.99

01:01:39.000 I think, I think looking at monitors is fucking terrible. 0.93

01:01:42.000 You know, I did a podcast last week where I didn't bring the laptop when we do the Fight Companion podcast. 0.95

01:01:47.000 My eyes felt better by the end of the day.

01:01:49.000 I was like, at the end of the, like, I think staring at a screen like that.

01:01:52.000 Maybe my screen's too bright.

01:01:54.000 But I think staring at a screen like that all the time, I just think it's real bad for you.

01:01:58.000 It's totally unnatural to be staring at a light source like that, six, you know, a foot, two feet from your face.

01:02:04.000 Especially a phone where you're usually squinting.

01:02:06.000 It's not like a big screen.

01:02:08.000 Phones are terrible.

01:02:09.000 It's great.

01:02:10.000 What they do is amazing.

01:02:12.000 I mean, I would never give them back. 0.99

01:02:14.000 I would never say, man, I'd rather go back to fucking smoke signals. 0.98

01:02:17.000 You know, I love phones, but what they're doing to you is not good. 0.98

01:02:21.000 It's just not good.

01:02:22.000 It's just not good to be staring.

01:02:24.000 My eyes are significantly worse than they were three or four years ago.

01:02:27.000 Yeah, it goes fast.

01:02:28.000 It's interesting.

01:02:29.000 Mine's doing it right now.

01:02:30.000 Yeah, it's not good.

01:02:32.000 I bought a book that Steve Maxwell recommended, but I haven't gotten to it.

01:02:38.000 The irony is not lost on me, that when I'm wearing reading glasses, reading a book about how to not read with glasses, that's...

01:02:47.000 What?

01:02:49.000 I'm wearing reading glasses and when I'm reading a book about how to not use reading glasses while I'm reading with glasses.

01:02:59.000 It's a book about not reading?

01:03:00.000 Yeah, it's like Throw Away Your Glasses and See, I think is the name of the book.

01:03:04.000 I'm like, it's hilarious.

01:03:04.000 I'm reading this book while I'm wearing glasses.

01:03:09.000 That book makes zero sense.

01:03:11.000 I think it's called the Bates Method for strengthening your eyes.

01:03:18.000 The idea is that your eyes are like any other part of your body.

01:03:23.000 If you use them properly, you can strengthen them.

01:03:27.000 But if you don't use them properly, you can weaken them. 0.98

01:03:29.000 If you breathe in coal fumes all day, you're going to fuck up your lungs. 0.97

01:03:34.000 So, the idea is if you're staring at a computer screen all day, you're fucking up your eyes. 0.94

01:03:40.000 And there may be ways to sort of at least partially mitigate the damage that you're doing to your eyes. 0.56

01:03:47.000 Play some Quake.

01:03:48.000 Yeah.

01:03:48.000 That's supposed to be good for your eyes, right?

01:03:50.000 God damn it. 0.99

01:03:51.000 Can't get me in there, man. 0.99

01:03:53.000 I know.

01:03:54.000 I know what's wrong with me.

01:03:56.000 That's one.

01:03:56.000 That's one that I can't go back to.

01:03:58.000 It's just too much.

01:04:01.000 I liked it too much.

01:04:03.000 I'm doing too well without it.

01:04:07.000 It'll help your eyes more than a book, maybe.

01:04:10.000 I don't think it will.

01:04:11.000 I just think it will be one hour, and then it'll be two hours, and then it'll be four hours a day, and the next thing you know, I'm not writing any new jokes.

01:04:20.000 I'm not going to the improv or the comedy store. 0.96

01:04:23.000 I'm not sitting in front of the The computer or pen and paper and getting shit done. 0.91

01:04:27.000 No, I'm jonesing. 0.96

01:04:29.000 Jonesing to go frag people. 1.00

01:04:30.000 To go fucking chain gun someone and rail gun them. 1.00

01:04:34.000 It's fun. 1.00

01:04:35.000 If you twitch for three hours. 1.00

01:04:36.000 Shut up, son. 1.00

01:04:37.000 And then you got some comedy out of it. 1.00

01:04:38.000 Yeah, you can make it a podcast.

01:04:39.000 What comedy would I get out of it? 0.95

01:04:41.000 You're bullshitting with people. 0.82

01:04:42.000 You might get a joke out of it. 0.71

01:04:44.000 I don't know about all that.

01:04:45.000 Have you ever eyeball kissed somebody, like touched eyeballs?

01:04:50.000 It's cool.

01:04:51.000 How old are you again?

01:04:53.000 Do it.

01:04:54.000 It's cool.

01:04:54.000 No, I haven't.

01:04:55.000 It feels weird.

01:04:56.000 Did you do it to a girl?

01:04:57.000 Yeah, I love it.

01:04:58.000 So it's weird touching something that somebody sees through.

01:05:02.000 There was a story about a dude who died.

01:05:04.000 I don't know if it's true, so I should probably look it up.

01:05:07.000 He got staph infection on his eyeball because during a wrestling match, his contact lens came out.

01:05:14.000 Fell on a mat, took it, put it back in his eye, and got a staph infection in his eye and wound up dying. 0.99

01:05:20.000 That could be one of those fucking leprechaun stories. 0.99

01:05:24.000 No, it makes sense. 0.99

01:05:25.000 I mean, eye herpes is a real thing, and that's actually pretty common, and you get outbreaks on your eyes.

01:05:30.000 Is eye herpes a real thing?

01:05:31.000 Yeah.

01:05:32.000 Really?

01:05:32.000 Mm-hmm.

01:05:33.000 Eye herpes.

01:05:34.000 Eye herpes. 0.96

01:05:34.000 Eye balls. 0.96

01:05:35.000 You can get herpes in your eyeballs. 0.97

01:05:36.000 Really?

01:05:37.000 Yeah.

01:05:39.000 Eye herpes on ocular herpes.

01:05:41.000 Ocular herpes.

01:05:42.000 So, like, when you go to close your eyelid, like, as you're blinking, it's going over that giant zit.

01:05:48.000 Yeah, and you pop your eyeballs in.

01:05:51.000 Oh, my God.

01:05:52.000 How bold are you?

01:05:53.000 How bold do you have to be to pop an eyeball zit?

01:05:55.000 Can you imagine if you popped it and you felt the ooze? 0.80

01:05:58.000 Oh, gross.

01:06:02.000 Yeah.

01:06:02.000 You probably can't pop an eyeball zit, because what if it gets infected?

01:06:06.000 Oh, God. 1.00

01:06:06.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

01:06:08.000 That's not good. 1.00

01:06:10.000 Don't Google image search eye herpes, either. 0.98

01:06:13.000 Just stop and think about some of the fucked up diseases that people can get. 0.98

01:06:18.000 You don't even know about them until they happen. 0.99

01:06:20.000 And then you go, wait, what do I have?

01:06:22.000 Eyeball herpes.

01:06:23.000 I actually looked up surfer's eye one time.

01:06:25.000 Have you ever seen that?

01:06:26.000 No.

01:06:27.000 Oh, my God.

01:06:28.000 That's real, bro?

01:06:29.000 Yeah.

01:06:29.000 Oh, God.

01:06:30.000 Look at that...

01:06:32.000 What is surfer's eye?

01:06:33.000 It's overexposure to sun.

01:06:35.000 It's called ptergium.

01:06:37.000 I can't say that right, but...

01:06:38.000 Oh, wow.

01:06:39.000 It's like a cochlear mucus extension.

01:06:42.000 I don't know.

01:06:43.000 I sunburned my eyeball.

01:06:44.000 And what happens?

01:06:45.000 It just starts taking over your eye.

01:06:46.000 I think it's sort of like eye cancer.

01:06:48.000 Oh, my God.

01:06:50.000 And what do they do about it? 1.00

01:06:52.000 I think you're fucked. 1.00

01:06:53.000 I think I lose your eye. 1.00

01:06:54.000 Oh, my God.

01:06:55.000 Really?

01:06:56.000 I mean, I don't think you can grow up.

01:06:57.000 Look how much that one guy... 0.98

01:06:58.000 I guess it's a woman, the black one. 1.00

01:07:01.000 Oh, God. 0.99

01:07:01.000 God, this is too horrible. 0.99

01:07:03.000 Oh my god, look at that.

01:07:05.000 Look how it's overcoming her vision. 0.92

01:07:08.000 Oh my god.

01:07:09.000 What's going on with this guy?

01:07:11.000 Same thing, surfer.

01:07:13.000 No, he's a victim of surf rage.

01:07:15.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

01:07:17.000 That guy got his ass lit up. 1.00

01:07:19.000 Does he have it? 1.00

01:07:21.000 Kelly Slater has it?

01:07:23.000 Do you see it on Kelly Slater?

01:07:25.000 No, he's just coming up.

01:07:26.000 Wow, this is crazy.

01:07:27.000 I know they get an ear thing too.

01:07:29.000 Surfers get surfer ear, where the inside of their ear, they develop like these nodes, like these big bony protrusions. 0.99

01:07:39.000 Scary shit, man. 0.99

01:07:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:43.000 Surfing can't be that good. 1.00

01:07:45.000 I had a sunburn in my eye once because I was sitting at a table after a rainstorm and the sun had reflected off the table into my eyes for two hours, you know, while I was just sitting there drinking or whatever.

01:07:56.000 And the next, like, a couple hours later, I couldn't see out of my eyes for like two days.

01:08:00.000 Whoa.

01:08:01.000 It was just burnt.

01:08:02.000 My eyes were burnt.

01:08:03.000 You had no idea?

01:08:04.000 No idea what was going on.

01:08:05.000 It's so bright.

01:08:06.000 It's so bright.

01:08:07.000 Whatever.

01:08:07.000 At least I'm not looking at the sun.

01:08:09.000 Myrtle Beach.

01:08:11.000 Again, booze.

01:08:12.000 Yeah, that was spring break.

01:08:15.000 If you were high, you'd be like, I need some sunglasses, man. 1.00

01:08:18.000 This is bullshit, man. 1.00

01:08:21.000 Yeah, it sucked. 1.00

01:08:21.000 Because I had to go out in public and I remember I went to Red Lobster and I couldn't see and my dad had to walk me through Red Lobster. 1.00

01:08:28.000 Oh my god.

01:08:29.000 Did you hear that Ed Snowden joined Twitter?

01:08:33.000 Yeah.

01:08:34.000 He got like a million followers in an hour.

01:08:36.000 He's at 1.19 billion.

01:08:39.000 Interesting.

01:08:39.000 And he did Neil deGrasse Tyson's podcast.

01:08:43.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson is such a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:08:46.000 He wrote this on Twitter. 0.99

01:08:47.000 He wrote, Ed Stoughton, after discussing everything from chemistry to constitution on StarTalk, you're a patriot to me.

01:08:56.000 Stay safe. 1.00

01:08:59.000 Poor fucking guy. 1.00

01:09:00.000 Did you see who he's following? 1.00

01:09:02.000 He's only following one account.

01:09:04.000 Yeah, the NSA. Hilarious.

01:09:09.000 That is fucking hilarious. 0.99

01:09:14.000 That's high comedy. 1.00

01:09:16.000 Poor bastard. 1.00

01:09:17.000 That's one of those things, man. 1.00

01:09:19.000 Like, where's that guy gonna be 20, 30 years from now?

01:09:22.000 Because, like, living in Russia... 0.94

01:09:26.000 We're just speculating, but I would imagine that's...

01:09:30.000 Well, you know what, though, man?

01:09:32.000 If anybody would not...

01:09:33.000 I was going to say, it's probably terrifying you're living under this dictatorship, but if anybody would feel that it's not like that, it's him, because he knows what America's like. 0.99

01:09:43.000 I mean, they're trying to put that fucking guy in jail. 0.98

01:09:45.000 And why are they trying to put him in jail? 1.00

01:09:47.000 For exposing crime.

01:09:49.000 That's why they're trying to put him in jail.

01:09:50.000 They're trying to put him in jail for the very thing that Obama used to have on his Hope and Change campaign website.

01:09:56.000 On his Hope and Change campaign website, before Obama became elected, he had this whole thing about whistleblowers, that they would support whistleblowers, people that were exposing crime, and that they wouldn't punish these people, they would help them.

01:10:10.000 But meanwhile, he's been the worst for whistleblowers. 0.99

01:10:14.000 It was bullshit. 0.95

01:10:16.000 He didn't really have the power that he claimed to have or would have when he got in, and then when he did get in, he didn't do any of the things he said he would do when it comes to whistleblowers, nor did he support them publicly. 1.00

01:10:27.000 He kept his fucking mouth shut, or he spoke disparagingly about Snowden. 0.88

01:10:32.000 Meanwhile, if you ask the American people, if you gave like a poll, like if everybody on Twitter had a vote, how many people are happy with what Ed Snowden did and how many people think that what he did was dangerous and he should be in jail. 0.99

01:10:45.000 I guarantee you most people, especially people that know what the case is actually about, they would support him.

01:10:51.000 He went way out of his way to make sure that no one got in trouble, or that no one was doxxed, that their information wasn't released, and that critical operations weren't compromised.

01:11:01.000 He went way out of his way. 0.96

01:11:03.000 And he brought that shit to a bunch of different sources before he brought it to Glenn Greenwald. 0.98

01:11:08.000 There was a bunch of different people he brought it to that they didn't want to have anything to do with it. 0.99

01:11:12.000 The whole thing is just so strange.

01:11:15.000 It's terrifying.

01:11:17.000 You think Obama might help him out before he gets out of office?

01:11:20.000 Help him out! 0.99

01:11:21.000 Maybe not excommunicate him because he's not in prison right now, but...

01:11:25.000 He should totally do that.

01:11:26.000 He should do that right now.

01:11:28.000 He should do that right now.

01:11:29.000 He should have a speech, and he should tell the American public that what the NSA did crossed the line, and that the average American person is not a criminal, and we shouldn't be treated as a criminal until proven differently.

01:11:43.000 That's not how democracy works, and that kind of pressure...

01:11:46.000 Living your life under that kind of pressure is awful.

01:11:49.000 Nobody wants to live like that, worrying that people are looking over your shoulder because it affects your freedom.

01:11:54.000 It affects the way you think and behave.

01:11:56.000 You feel like you're being observed and watched.

01:12:00.000 And that has a big impact on how you behave and think. 0.98

01:12:05.000 If you ever worked in a place where your boss thought you were untrustworthy, or thought you were sneaky, or didn't like you in any way, and they're always checking in on your work, and they're always following you around, it makes working in that office a fucking nightmare. 0.98

01:12:22.000 You're spending eight hours a day with some fucking guy who's constantly looking at you sideways. 0.96

01:12:26.000 Imagine, turn it to 24 hours a day. 0.99

01:12:29.000 And that's what the CIA or the NSA is doing.

01:12:31.000 I mean, they're your boss.

01:12:32.000 They're checking in on you.

01:12:34.000 Let me look at your Google search. 1.00

01:12:35.000 What do you give a shit about torture? 0.99

01:12:37.000 I mean, what if you want to find out how they torture people? 0.99

01:12:41.000 Like, you're allowed to, as an adult, okay? 0.99

01:12:43.000 As a fucking grown adult. 1.00

01:12:45.000 And you say, torture tactics of ISIS. Like, I want to know what they do. 1.00

01:12:49.000 Let's see what they do.

01:12:50.000 Okay, let's see what they do in China.

01:12:51.000 Let's see what they do.

01:12:52.000 Why?

01:12:53.000 Why are you looking at it? 1.00

01:12:53.000 Who the fuck are you? 1.00

01:12:55.000 I'm looking at it because it's a possible search result. 1.00

01:12:59.000 I want to ask a question.

01:13:00.000 I want to know.

01:13:01.000 Why is that bad?

01:13:02.000 Well, it's not bad. 0.98

01:13:04.000 But if you start Googling weird shit about Islam or ISIS or, you know, how do you convert? 0.98

01:13:08.000 What if I want to know how you convert? 0.99

01:13:09.000 How does that work?

01:13:10.000 What if I want to know, what's the protocol?

01:13:12.000 How do I join?

01:13:13.000 Well, what if I want to know?

01:13:14.000 Am I going to get visited?

01:13:15.000 Because I want to have info. 0.98

01:13:16.000 I'm not joining ISIS, goddammit.

01:13:18.000 But if I want to have some information, like maybe I want to be able to, you know, answer that question.

01:13:24.000 If someone says, how do they join ISIS? I researched that, actually.

01:13:27.000 This is what they do. 1.00

01:13:29.000 Well, if you start looking at all that shit, they will put you on a fucking list. 1.00

01:13:33.000 Well, they're putting you on that list for your own good. 1.00

01:13:35.000 Are they really?

01:13:36.000 How about you just catch people when they do crime?

01:13:39.000 How about you just prevent crime from happening and not by making everyone a criminal? 0.90

01:13:44.000 When you start looking at everybody's fucking email, you start recording everybody's phone calls, you start taking everybody's text messages and putting them in a database. 1.00

01:13:53.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:13:55.000 You know? 1.00

01:13:55.000 And we all agree with that. 1.00

01:13:57.000 Meanwhile, this poor guy, he's in Russia. 1.00

01:14:00.000 What kind of pussy do you think he's getting over there? 1.00

01:14:02.000 It's funny how Facebook does that legally. 1.00

01:14:05.000 Probably hot ones, right?

01:14:07.000 Hot in Russia.

01:14:08.000 How many accounts do you have...

01:14:11.000 Connected to Facebook.

01:14:12.000 You know how it's like log in with Facebook?

01:14:15.000 You forget how many times you do that.

01:14:17.000 And then there's a setting somewhere in Facebook where you can see everything you've done.

01:14:22.000 And the other day I looked at it and was like, oh, you listened to this song at 3 o'clock.

01:14:25.000 Then you ordered food from this place.

01:14:27.000 Then you took an Uber to this place. 1.00

01:14:28.000 And then I was just like, holy shit! 0.99

01:14:30.000 So you have so much information. 0.99

01:14:32.000 So can anybody else look at it?

01:14:34.000 No, but Facebook has all that, and I've been doing it for years.

01:14:39.000 You just forget when you log in with Facebook how much you actually use Facebook, or you're telling Facebook what you're doing, but you forget that you're logged into E24 with Facebook.

01:14:49.000 You're logged into this with Facebook.

01:14:52.000 I don't do that.

01:14:53.000 I don't use Facebook to log into anything.

01:14:55.000 Yeah, I do, because it's easy.

01:14:56.000 It's like, until I don't have to sign up and just push this button.

01:14:59.000 Yeah, but it seems to me like that's not good. 1.00

01:15:01.000 Especially a database like Facebook where they sell your shit. 1.00

01:15:05.000 Because they sell your shit. 1.00

01:15:06.000 They're all coming up with new and better ways to profit off of the lists that they can generate. 1.00

01:15:11.000 But where your buying habits are...

01:15:14.000 Like, you know how...

01:15:15.000 That always weirds me out.

01:15:16.000 Like, you Google something.

01:15:17.000 Like, the other day, I was Googling a specific type of binocular.

01:15:21.000 Swarovski.

01:15:21.000 They're, like, very famous binoculars.

01:15:23.000 So I'm Googling.

01:15:24.000 I'm looking at the different types of binoculars. 0.95

01:15:26.000 Then I go to some website, and there's a fucking Swarovski ad in the Google ad things because they know I've been looking. 0.94

01:15:32.000 Like, oh, what about this? 0.97

01:15:34.000 Why don't you buy that?

01:15:35.000 I know you're thinking about it, man. 0.99

01:15:37.000 And I was like, wow, that's kind of fucked up. 0.98

01:15:38.000 It's kind of weird that they tailor the ads to you because I never saw hunting binocular ads and, you know, some fucking BuzzFeed website. 0.99

01:15:48.000 Like, all of a sudden I see it.

01:15:49.000 Like, why am I seeing that there?

01:15:51.000 Because it's tailored to my search results.

01:15:54.000 And, you know, just saying Olive Garden right now will make Olive Garden play on YouTube, you know, because they go through the audio of YouTube videos and there's certain advertising.

01:16:03.000 So you say Olive Garden right now, there will be an Olive Garden ad at the beginning of the podcast?

01:16:08.000 A lot of times, yeah.

01:16:10.000 If it's a current paid sponsor from YouTube.

01:16:14.000 Does that mean that they do a transcript of the show?

01:16:17.000 Yeah.

01:16:18.000 Everything is a transcript now.

01:16:20.000 Any video you put out nowadays, there's a transcript of.

01:16:24.000 Imagine trying to transcribe one of our shows.

01:16:26.000 Oh, it's done.

01:16:27.000 Yeah, but I mean, imagine if you tried to look, if you took parts of it, that's like one of the problems that I have with people taking little snippets of the podcast and then making whole articles about a conversation that was said. 0.83

01:16:41.000 Because you're taking something that's completely out of context, and all the humor and irony and sarcasm, all that shit's completely missing.

01:16:48.000 You just get a sentence. 1.00

01:16:50.000 You know, like me telling Milo yesterday, you're gay as fuck, dude. 1.00

01:16:53.000 Right. 1.00

01:16:55.000 What was it, BuzzFeed News, or was it Raw?

01:16:57.000 Raw story.

01:16:58.000 You know, you look at it, you go, what is he saying here?

01:17:01.000 Like, why is he saying that to him?

01:17:02.000 Like, it looks...

01:17:03.000 It's so much different when you see something, like, transcribed.

01:17:08.000 Like, transcription is not necessarily a really good...

01:17:14.000 It's not the full capturing of a conversation.

01:17:18.000 It's just not.

01:17:19.000 And try to pretend it is.

01:17:21.000 If someone puts something in quotes and says that Hillary Clinton said this, okay, can I see how she said it?

01:17:29.000 Can I see who she was talking to?

01:17:31.000 Can you show me a video of what they were talking about before then?

01:17:34.000 Because then I'll only understand what she's really saying.

01:17:37.000 And that's how emojis were born.

01:17:39.000 That's the purpose of them.

01:17:40.000 So you could have a girl going with the hand to the side, you're like, oh, she's been cunty. 0.99

01:17:45.000 Is that with the hand to the side?

01:17:46.000 I thought you were an Egyptian.

01:17:48.000 Walk like an Egyptian. 1.00

01:17:51.000 I didn't know that.

01:17:53.000 I don't use emojis.

01:17:54.000 You don't?

01:17:54.000 I'm so deep in emojis.

01:17:57.000 And the new ones are about to come out.

01:17:58.000 We got Taco on the way.

01:18:00.000 Taco?

01:18:01.000 Tacos on the way. 1.00

01:18:02.000 They already have piles of shit and guns. 1.00

01:18:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:18:05.000 They have gun emojis. 1.00

01:18:07.000 Sometimes people send me a text and I'm like, I don't know what you're saying, but I think you're going to shoot the shit. 1.00

01:18:12.000 Shoot shit. 1.00

01:18:13.000 I overuse eggplant. 1.00

01:18:15.000 Eggplant?

01:18:15.000 Yeah.

01:18:15.000 Why do you use that one?

01:18:16.000 For cock. 1.00

01:18:18.000 Oh, your dick? 1.00

01:18:19.000 Eggplant. 1.00

01:18:19.000 That's the international dick. 1.00

01:18:20.000 If your dick looks like that, it's that fat, it's probably dying. 1.00

01:18:24.000 You probably have a horrible infection. 1.00

01:18:27.000 Need to go get your dick drained. 1.00

01:18:28.000 I'd use eggplant, sushi, squirt, the three drops of water. 1.00

01:18:36.000 That's one way to say a sentence, I guess. 0.76

01:18:39.000 Black woman. 0.99

01:18:40.000 You know, it's a funny thing about the way we do language, that we think of that as like the only way to do language.

01:18:45.000 But if you look at like hieroglyphs, that's kind of what they did.

01:18:48.000 They just do talk in emojis. 0.99

01:18:51.000 I mean, the Egyptians, they drew all their shit. 1.00

01:18:55.000 Like, here we are pushing a rock. 1.00

01:18:57.000 Here we are with the boat.

01:18:59.000 You know, this guy has a sword.

01:19:01.000 Do they know if the hieroglyphs are written by smart people or not?

01:19:03.000 Has that ever come up?

01:19:05.000 Well, they were the smartest people around.

01:19:06.000 Otherwise, it'd be people that had hieroglyphs that were making fun of hieroglyphs.

01:19:10.000 He know fire.

01:19:11.000 He's smart.

01:19:12.000 What does that mean?

01:19:13.000 We know they were smart. 0.99

01:19:14.000 The hieroglyphs that are found could have been written by the dumb kids or whatever. 0.98

01:19:19.000 They were just writing emojis to each other. 0.94

01:19:21.000 That's the only ones that got found?

01:19:22.000 You know what I mean?

01:19:23.000 Well, there used to be a thing called the Library of Alexandria, but it was burned, burned the ground more than once, I think.

01:19:30.000 I think the Muslims burned it down, and I think someone else burned it down, too.

01:19:35.000 I want to say, I forget who it is, but they lost all their records.

01:19:41.000 They lost all their...

01:19:42.000 People used to go to Egypt from all over the world to learn.

01:19:46.000 They used to have psychedelic studies there.

01:19:48.000 They used to trip balls. 0.99

01:19:50.000 They used to fucking learn about mathematics and construction techniques. 1.00

01:19:54.000 And we don't know what the fuck they taught them. 1.00

01:19:56.000 We don't know what the fuck they knew. 1.00

01:19:57.000 We don't know anything. 1.00

01:19:58.000 We just see amazing, amazing shit that they left behind and go, fuck. 1.00

01:20:03.000 How the hell did they do this? 1.00

01:20:05.000 We don't know.

01:20:05.000 We just guess.

01:20:06.000 Just a bunch of guesswork, a bunch of scientists that every now and then someone will put together a paper.

01:20:11.000 We've solved the riddle of how they made the pyramids.

01:20:14.000 It's quite simple, actually.

01:20:17.000 No, it's not.

01:20:19.000 Do you know it's not?

01:20:20.000 It's not simple.

01:20:20.000 They just carved it out of a mountain.

01:20:21.000 It's not even a little simple.

01:20:23.000 It's crazy.

01:20:24.000 Those things are giant, and they're perfect.

01:20:26.000 The Great Pyramid has 2,600,000 stones.

01:20:30.000 They're cut so perfectly that you can't even wedge a sheet of paper.

01:20:34.000 You can't get a razor blade in between the stones in most cases.

01:20:37.000 The ones that you see on the outside that are rough and horrible, the reason why they're rough is because the pyramid used to be covered in smooth limestone.

01:20:44.000 It used to be this beautiful, smooth, flat surface. 0.95

01:20:48.000 But when they were building Cairo, those fucking apes, like a thousand years later, two thousand years later, whatever it was, they stole all the limestone from the pyramids. 0.99

01:20:58.000 They chipped it, chipped it away, pulled it off, and built their streets with it. 1.00

01:21:02.000 Fucking dummies. 1.00

01:21:04.000 That's so... 1.00

01:21:05.000 Can you imagine how fucking stupid they had to be to chip away at the outside of the pyramid and take the limestone off? 1.00

01:21:13.000 Fucking morons. 1.00

01:21:15.000 Do you think maybe the pyramids were just a mountain and they just carved the pyramid out of the mountain? 1.00

01:21:19.000 I think you need to read.

01:21:21.000 You need to read books.

01:21:23.000 Makes sense.

01:21:24.000 That was one of the explanations for what the Sphinx was.

01:21:29.000 The Sphinx was what they call a yardang. 0.98

01:21:32.000 What a yardang is when you say, like, you've ever seen, like, they always have these, like, mountains where the side of the mountain looks like an Indian's head. 0.98

01:21:38.000 Well, the idea is you take something like that and then you start actually carving away at it until it really looks like a Sphinx.

01:21:46.000 The idea was that there was this rock that looked similar to that.

01:21:49.000 It was like some standout rock, and then they did all this stuff to it.

01:21:53.000 The problem with that is there's just a lot of evidence for how they built that thing.

01:21:57.000 They know how they carved it out.

01:21:59.000 The temple that the Sphinx is in, that area that shows all the water erosion, like, they know where the blocks are.

01:22:04.000 Like, they take them from here, they move them to there, blocks are missing.

01:22:08.000 So they're pretty sure they...

01:22:09.000 That's another weird one, because the Sphinx, like, they're reconstructing it.

01:22:14.000 And when they're reconstructing it, they're just building on the outside of it. 0.85

01:22:17.000 Like, they're doing such a shitty job.

01:22:19.000 Like, have you ever seen, like, the reconstruction photos of the Sphinx?

01:22:21.000 No.

01:22:22.000 Like, they're just making, like, concrete.

01:22:23.000 Well, they are. 1.00

01:22:24.000 They're doing their own art, and they're covering over the old shit. 0.99

01:22:30.000 I guess they have to to preserve it, because I guess it's crumbling and falling apart, so a lot of it is just to try to preserve it. 0.90

01:22:39.000 Jamie, see if you can pull up some pictures of the restoration of the Sphinx.

01:22:43.000 Because it's real controversial because when you look at it, you're not really looking at the Sphinx anymore.

01:22:48.000 You're looking at a modern interpretation of covering the outside of the feet and parts of the base.

01:22:55.000 It's not really the Sphinx anymore.

01:22:57.000 They show the feet.

01:23:00.000 See that in the upper right hand?

01:23:03.000 The middle, sorry.

01:23:04.000 The middle you can see.

01:23:06.000 What?

01:23:07.000 Really?

01:23:07.000 Yeah, go to view image and spread that out.

01:23:11.000 Looks like they just got, we'll just patch it up.

01:23:13.000 It'll be $5.

01:23:14.000 Look what they're doing.

01:23:15.000 They just have modern bricks and they're smoothing it all out.

01:23:19.000 So, I mean, yeah, I guess it looks good, like in terms of, you know, it's smooth stones and everything, but what they're doing is not the original Sphinx.

01:23:33.000 Have you ever seen those people make the sidewalks where it looks like there's a bunch of rocks, but it's not.

01:23:38.000 It's just an illusion where they take this thing, they put it down and make lines to make it look like rocks, and then they wash it a certain way.

01:23:47.000 No.

01:23:48.000 Jamie, that's...

01:23:49.000 I'm sorry, but Jamie, that's not real, right?

01:23:51.000 The nose thing.

01:23:52.000 That's not real.

01:23:54.000 Looks like they're building a fake nose in the Sphinx.

01:23:56.000 Like, what?

01:23:57.000 No, I'm sorry.

01:23:58.000 Say that again?

01:23:59.000 They have this way to make...

01:24:03.000 Like where if they're making like a sidewalk they put down this all this concrete then they put like a pattern that looks like Cut out rocks over it and they kind of like step on it They take it off and then they wash like a fake wash on it or something So then the final product looks like they have individual stones in the sidewalk when it really it's just like an illusion and It's kind of like what it looks like they're doing to the Sphinx,

01:24:27.000 where they're almost making it look like they're putting new rocks in it, where it's probably just lines, paint, airbrush.

01:24:34.000 Yeah, it's real weird, man.

01:24:37.000 It's real weird.

01:24:38.000 You know, we have ideas about what a thing is, and other countries have different ideas.

01:24:47.000 We would look at that and we'd go, okay, that's not a restoration. 0.99

01:24:51.000 That shit on the outside is different. 0.98

01:24:53.000 But in Japan, they have buildings, houses that exist that are a thousand years old. 0.99

01:25:01.000 And what they've done is restored everything.

01:25:04.000 Everything's restored.

01:25:04.000 All the floorboards are new.

01:25:06.000 The walls are new.

01:25:07.000 Everything's new.

01:25:07.000 But the shape is the same.

01:25:09.000 So, like, we look at it and we go, well, hey, that's not the same building.

01:25:12.000 And they go, well, to them it is.

01:25:14.000 Because to them, it's the original location.

01:25:17.000 They've restored what it looks like, and this is the original building to them.

01:25:20.000 But like in Europe, like if you go to a pub in London, you'll go to a pub that's hundreds of years old. 0.98

01:25:26.000 And that fucking pub is the same. 0.97

01:25:28.000 You walk down those stairs, it's all worn out where the people's feet have been. 1.00

01:25:32.000 You look at the walls, you look at the fucking railings on the bar, and it's all worn down. 0.98

01:25:38.000 Look at that. 0.99

01:25:39.000 Look at that place, Jesus Christ.

01:25:41.000 That's great. 1.00

01:25:42.000 Fuck, where is that? 1.00

01:25:44.000 Get some absence. 1.00

01:25:46.000 That's in London.

01:25:47.000 London has some cool old craftsmanship, man.

01:25:50.000 I'm gonna go there.

01:25:51.000 I've never been there still.

01:25:52.000 You've never been to London?

01:25:53.000 No.

01:25:54.000 I've only been to Canada.

01:25:55.000 In Japan.

01:25:57.000 That's right.

01:25:59.000 Yeah, London will be interesting if you go, too, because you could do some stand-up there.

01:26:03.000 Yeah, there's Sweden.

01:26:04.000 I want to go to Sweden and London.

01:26:06.000 You would do stand-up in Sweden?

01:26:08.000 Yeah.

01:26:09.000 Sweden, for some reason, just looking at numbers and stuff like that, Sweden's like number one almost.

01:26:14.000 It's right behind Canada and Australia.

01:26:18.000 Well, they do speak English.

01:26:20.000 That's the cool thing about being American. 0.97

01:26:22.000 We're so fucking badass. 0.96

01:26:24.000 Other countries speak our language. 0.94

01:26:25.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:26:26.000 Actually, it's like a European-English thing.

01:26:29.000 But if you go to almost all those countries, they speak English.

01:26:33.000 I did stand up in Norway.

01:26:35.000 Or in Sweden, rather.

01:26:37.000 No, Stockholm.

01:26:38.000 Yeah, Stockholm.

01:26:39.000 Yeah, is there certain countries that you have to know certain rules, like whatever you do to not talk about, you know? 0.98

01:26:45.000 Yeah, I would imagine, like, in the Middle East especially, you can't talk shit about the royal family. 0.97

01:26:51.000 Thailand's the same way. 1.00

01:26:52.000 If you talk shit about the king in Thailand, they'll lock your ass up. 1.00

01:26:54.000 Have you been following what's going on with the black cabs versus Uber? 1.00

01:26:57.000 That shit's interesting. 0.99

01:26:59.000 What's going on? 1.00

01:27:00.000 I guess from what I understand is, you know, the guys that used to have the horses back in the days, they used to be like, you know, drive around the horse carriages and stuff.

01:27:09.000 Oh, in New York you mean?

01:27:09.000 No, in the UK. In England?

01:27:12.000 Yeah.

01:27:12.000 Okay.

01:27:13.000 And then they moved on through cabs and stuff like that.

01:27:15.000 And I guess Uber's trying to come over there.

01:27:17.000 And so like, this is like a family, you know, my father used to ride horses and stuff.

01:27:23.000 And so they're pretty much fighting with the Uber drivers, and they're stopping traffic.

01:27:28.000 I sent you something recently.

01:27:31.000 The black cabs are protesting where they're just bringing central London to a standstill over this Uber.

01:27:39.000 Wow, this is crazy.

01:27:41.000 So they just shut down the streets.

01:27:42.000 Yeah.

01:27:42.000 Just park their car and shut down the streets.

01:27:44.000 And the black cab drivers are doing kind of like the... 0.94

01:27:47.000 You know, beating up the Uber drivers and like... 0.99

01:27:50.000 Old school gangs in New York type shit. 0.99

01:27:53.000 But Uber just passed in Vegas. 1.00

01:27:56.000 What?

01:27:56.000 Yep.

01:27:57.000 Oh my god.

01:27:58.000 Double charged in L.A. though.

01:28:00.000 So it's twice as much as L.A., but still cheaper than a taxi.

01:28:03.000 You gotta be in a group too.

01:28:05.000 A group?

01:28:06.000 Four, five, six people or something like that.

01:28:08.000 What?

01:28:08.000 Really?

01:28:08.000 Like a cab.

01:28:09.000 There's some weird rules about it.

01:28:11.000 Oh, so they're trying to slowly box them out.

01:28:14.000 Yeah.

01:28:14.000 Thinking about it, last time I was in Vegas, it'd be really hard to, if there's a giant cab line, and you're like, ah, screw it, I'm going to use an Uber instead, you just go off to the side of the street and just stop, and a cab's going to pick you up, Uber's going to stop on the Strip and pick you up, there'd be chaos.

01:28:28.000 You're right.

01:28:29.000 There'd be complete chaos.

01:28:30.000 It would be.

01:28:31.000 Cars are stopping everywhere.

01:28:32.000 Yep, people getting mad, beeping horns, people are going to shoot people.

01:28:35.000 It's going to be crazy.

01:28:36.000 They'd have to have Uber ports at the hotels or something like that.

01:28:39.000 That's a crazy picture, though.

01:28:40.000 That London picture.

01:28:41.000 Put that up again, Jamie?

01:28:42.000 Look at that photo.

01:28:43.000 Look how many cabs there are. 0.58

01:28:44.000 They've completely shut the street down.

01:28:46.000 The folks who are at home were looking at this on DailyMail.com.

01:28:50.000 You always got to wonder.

01:28:51.000 You read something on the Daily Mail. 1.00

01:28:53.000 They're kind of full of shit. 1.00

01:28:55.000 But the picture's incredible. 1.00

01:28:57.000 They just have all these hundreds and hundreds of cabs shut down the streets, and they're all just sitting around talking.

01:29:05.000 Well, you know, I kind of see where they're coming from.

01:29:07.000 They don't want to get boxed out by some new competitor, but I kind of see where Uber's coming from, too.

01:29:15.000 I took a taxi the other day home from the Comedy Store, and what's usually a $13 cab ride costs me $38.

01:29:21.000 You mean $13 on Uber usually, right?

01:29:25.000 It's $13 on Uber usually, yes, and it was $38 on it in a taxi.

01:29:29.000 $13 is super reasonable.

01:29:31.000 Yeah.

01:29:32.000 Get you all the way to Burbank from the Comedy Store?

01:29:34.000 Yep.

01:29:35.000 Yeah, it's nice because if you think about it, parking is usually 20 bucks.

01:29:38.000 You pay a little extra.

01:29:39.000 You don't have to drive. 0.99

01:29:41.000 You don't have to get fucked up and drive home. 0.99

01:29:43.000 And that parking lot next door is always a nightmare. 0.99

01:29:46.000 The Sunset Strip, rather, it's just so crowded.

01:29:52.000 It's such a crazy place.

01:29:55.000 They've got La Cienega shut down still, right?

01:29:58.000 No, it's open now.

01:29:59.000 I think it's open now.

01:30:00.000 It was shut down forever.

01:30:01.000 Yeah.

01:30:02.000 Like, how many months was it shut down for?

01:30:04.000 Two, maybe?

01:30:05.000 It's a while.

01:30:06.000 They built something there.

01:30:07.000 It's amazing that you can build something.

01:30:09.000 You can have so much juice that while you're building, you can shut down the whole street.

01:30:13.000 In L.A. on Sunset.

01:30:16.000 I mean, what?

01:30:17.000 You have that much juice?

01:30:19.000 You could shut a street down?

01:30:20.000 I'm building my house here.

01:30:21.000 I'd just like you to stop driving cars.

01:30:25.000 Okay, for how long?

01:30:26.000 A couple months.

01:30:27.000 What?

01:30:29.000 If you said that, like, I want to build my house here.

01:30:32.000 But for whatever reason, because they have more money than you, they can do that. 1.00

01:30:36.000 Like, they're building some stupid-ass fucking building. 1.00

01:30:38.000 That it's more important they build a stupid-ass fucking building than it is for you to drive on the street that you pay taxes to maintain. 1.00

01:30:47.000 Or when they're, like, closed down streets for, like, oh, they're filming the Kardashians up ahead, so they close down Sunset. 1.00

01:30:52.000 That makes me violent.

01:30:54.000 Yeah.

01:30:55.000 Well, for movies, too, they'll shut them down for movies. 1.00

01:30:57.000 Like, fuck you. 1.00

01:30:58.000 That's not how it works. 1.00

01:30:59.000 Like, you don't...

01:31:00.000 You can't just sell the street.

01:31:03.000 You can't sell...

01:31:03.000 How much money are you getting?

01:31:05.000 Where's that money going?

01:31:06.000 It's inconveniencing all the rest of us.

01:31:08.000 And you're talking about a place that's already massively overpopulated.

01:31:12.000 L.A.'s extremely overpopulated.

01:31:15.000 I have friends that work in downtown, and they go to downtown all the time, and they'll tell you, like, it's a two-hour drive.

01:31:23.000 It's a two-and-a-half-hour drive.

01:31:25.000 It's 30 miles, and it'll take you two-and-a-half hours at two in the afternoon, three in the afternoon.

01:31:31.000 You might not get there until five. 1.00

01:31:33.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:31:35.000 It's a crazy place to live. 1.00

01:31:37.000 We're gonna bail.

01:31:38.000 Where are we going?

01:31:39.000 Where should we go?

01:31:41.000 If we bail.

01:31:42.000 Oregon?

01:31:43.000 Oregon's not bad.

01:31:43.000 I'm back to thinking Denver.

01:31:46.000 Recreational pot becomes legal Thursday.

01:31:48.000 Whoop, whoop! 1.00

01:31:50.000 You're back to thinking Denver?

01:31:51.000 Here's why I like Denver over Oregon. 0.99

01:31:54.000 It doesn't fucking rain every day. 0.98

01:31:56.000 Right. 0.97

01:31:56.000 Okay? 0.97

01:31:57.000 Look at that guy.

01:31:58.000 That's a guy who's been rained on every day since he was three.

01:32:01.000 He's tired.

01:32:02.000 His bones hurt.

01:32:04.000 He just looks worn out.

01:32:06.000 They look worn out.

01:32:07.000 They get worn out.

01:32:10.000 Yeah, I think Denver or even maybe...

01:32:14.000 I wish Hawaii was more...

01:32:16.000 Although, Portland has some hot chicks. 1.00

01:32:17.000 There's hot girls in Portland. 1.00

01:32:19.000 It's weird.

01:32:20.000 You wouldn't think they'd be up there.

01:32:21.000 There's plenty.

01:32:24.000 Even though it's raining all the time.

01:32:26.000 They'd probably cry a lot.

01:32:28.000 You'd probably cry a lot, too.

01:32:30.000 We'd all cry.

01:32:31.000 We'd just call each other up.

01:32:31.000 I don't know, man.

01:32:33.000 I'm thinking of going back to Burbank.

01:32:36.000 I can't take the winter.

01:32:38.000 I can't take the rain.

01:32:41.000 Do you see the new Tesla?

01:32:43.000 Yes.

01:32:43.000 What do you think about it?

01:32:44.000 Why do they have a fucking space door on it? 0.99

01:32:46.000 Why is it a Lambo doors? 0.99

01:32:48.000 It's cool, man.

01:32:49.000 Is that why?

01:32:50.000 Or is it a functional thing?

01:32:51.000 I don't know.

01:32:52.000 I think it looks neat.

01:32:54.000 You don't like it?

01:32:55.000 I don't know.

01:32:56.000 See, I just want to know why they're doing that thing.

01:33:03.000 That door thing.

01:33:04.000 Where they're opening the door sideways.

01:33:07.000 They're opening the doors like the Lamborghini doors.

01:33:11.000 Like, why would you want that?

01:33:13.000 That doesn't make any sense to me.

01:33:15.000 It's pretty cool.

01:33:16.000 Look at him.

01:33:16.000 He's always got that weird look on his face.

01:33:18.000 Like, okay.

01:33:20.000 You know, like he's doing something weird with his lips.

01:33:22.000 Like, alright.

01:33:24.000 Well, I'm just going to get out of the Model X here.

01:33:28.000 I saw the new BMW ones.

01:33:30.000 Those look cool.

01:33:31.000 I like the look of the BMW. The electric one?

01:33:34.000 Yeah, the blue and the white or whatever.

01:33:36.000 It looks really neat.

01:33:37.000 It's a Tron car.

01:33:38.000 Some guy in front of me this morning had one.

01:33:40.000 Those are expensive, right?

01:33:41.000 Yeah, they're really expensive.

01:33:43.000 They're like $120,000. 1.00

01:33:44.000 Shit. 1.00

01:33:45.000 That's super expensive. 1.00

01:33:46.000 This fucking thing he's got is even more than that. 1.00

01:33:48.000 This fucker's like $140,000. 1.00

01:33:51.000 It's super expensive and it's stupid fast. 1.00

01:33:55.000 It's supposed to go zero to 60 in like three seconds. 0.99

01:33:58.000 What's the battery on this one?

01:33:59.000 Probably get you around the block a couple times. 1.00

01:34:01.000 Shit's out on you and explodes underneath you. 1.00

01:34:04.000 I don't know, man. 1.00

01:34:05.000 This is what I think about these things.

01:34:07.000 I love the fact that someone's making them.

01:34:09.000 I love the fact that they're available.

01:34:11.000 And if you live in a place like LA and you have electrical power, you could drive this every day, plug it in at night, you'd be fine.

01:34:20.000 But I would always want to have a real car standing by. 0.99

01:34:23.000 I would always want to have a real car standing by in case the shit hit the fan. 0.99

01:34:27.000 You had to get out of town and you need something that works on just gasoline, you know, because I just think if you need to drive a long distance, like from New York to California, you can't fucking do it in that thing. 0.99

01:34:40.000 You can't do it. 0.59

01:34:41.000 It goes 250 miles and that's it. 0.99

01:34:43.000 And you got to fucking charge it. 0.99

01:34:45.000 And if you don't charge it, it's going to leave you somewhere. 0.99

01:34:48.000 But if you're just trying to get around town, oh, it's great.

01:34:50.000 It's probably the way to go.

01:34:52.000 Like, I should probably get one.

01:34:53.000 I should probably get a Tesla for, like, a drive around town car.

01:34:57.000 It's kind of the...

01:34:58.000 Get solar power and a Tesla is, like, the perfect setup for drive around town.

01:35:03.000 I sent you a...

01:35:04.000 I sent a link of six cars that are taking on Tesla.

01:35:08.000 Like, you know, the Porsche Mission E, which looks pretty sweet also.

01:35:12.000 Slower than a Tesla, believe it or not.

01:35:14.000 But I... I think what's cool is the Thunder Power EV. Have you seen this?

01:35:17.000 This looks like a Batmobile.

01:35:19.000 Well, the prettiest one was the Fisker Karma. 0.74

01:35:21.000 Do you remember the Fisker Karma?

01:35:23.000 The company went under, but they created this amazingly beautiful car that even had solar panel on the roof that powered the radio.

01:35:34.000 But when they had that big storm in the Pacific Northeast a few years back, they left all the Fiskars on the dock, and they all got washed away by the ocean and exploded.

01:35:45.000 The water came out of the ocean and filled up the parking lot, and the water level raised up to where the batteries were, and they all exploded.

01:35:54.000 Oh, my God.

01:35:57.000 They had like 16...

01:35:58.000 Whoa.

01:35:59.000 That's the one I'm talking about.

01:36:00.000 Hold up.

01:36:00.000 That's the Thunder Power EV. Who made that?

01:36:04.000 It is a Taiwan-based maker.

01:36:07.000 You know what that looks like? 0.99

01:36:08.000 Like a Nissan GT-R fucked your Volkswagen bug. 0.99

01:36:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:36:13.000 That's what it looks like. 0.99

01:36:14.000 It goes 62 miles an hour in five seconds.

01:36:17.000 That's not good.

01:36:18.000 It goes a top speed of 155. That can be right.

01:36:22.000 62 miles an hour in five seconds is so slow.

01:36:24.000 Is it?

01:36:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:25.000 That's stupid slow. 1.00

01:36:27.000 That can't be right. 1.00

01:36:29.000 Where does it say that?

01:36:31.000 It says a reporter accelerate to 62 miles per hour in less than five seconds. 1.00

01:36:35.000 Yeah, that's slow as shit, man. 0.99

01:36:38.000 Like, the modern cars of today, like, you can get SUVs that do that. 0.99

01:36:43.000 Easy.

01:36:44.000 Like, that's what I think the Range Rover does.

01:36:47.000 I think you can do a Range Rover in five seconds.

01:36:50.000 Those Range Rover turbocharged ones? 1.00

01:36:52.000 Those are fast as shit. 0.99

01:36:54.000 But to make a dope-looking, really flashy, in-your-face car like that? 0.99

01:36:59.000 I like the Porsche.

01:37:00.000 I think the Porsche Mission E looks...

01:37:01.000 Aston Martin?

01:37:02.000 Mmm, look at that.

01:37:03.000 See, that looks like a Ford Fusion or something to me.

01:37:06.000 I think it's because they own them.

01:37:08.000 Oh, is that why?

01:37:09.000 I think Ford owns Aston Martin.

01:37:11.000 Oh, yeah, same front.

01:37:12.000 Is there a Ford Fusion or whatever?

01:37:14.000 Yeah, I'm pretty sure Ford owns them.

01:37:16.000 Doesn't Ford own Jaguar?

01:37:19.000 Yeah.

01:37:19.000 Do they?

01:37:20.000 I think.

01:37:20.000 Somebody owns Jaguar.

01:37:21.000 Mercury.

01:37:22.000 No, wait.

01:37:22.000 Is Mercury real?

01:37:24.000 Is Mercury still a thing?

01:37:26.000 Mercury was the same.

01:37:28.000 It was like the Ford Taurus, but they just changed the name.

01:37:31.000 It was so weird.

01:37:32.000 Who owns Jaguar?

01:37:33.000 I'll tell you what. 0.99

01:37:34.000 Jaguars today are fucking slick. 0.99

01:37:38.000 Yeah, I like them. 0.99

01:37:40.000 Have you seen the new one?

01:37:42.000 The new Jaguar Coupe?

01:37:44.000 Jamie, pull out a photo of the new Jaguar Coupe.

01:37:48.000 I'm trying to find...

01:37:49.000 Continue to say...

01:37:51.000 Why do they do that?

01:37:54.000 Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my car.

01:37:57.000 Why don't you sell it?

01:37:58.000 That's dope. 0.93

01:37:59.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

01:38:00.000 Yeah, that looks sweet. 1.00

01:38:02.000 That is a fucking dope car. 1.00

01:38:03.000 And is that one of those 360 degree... 0.99

01:38:06.000 Just go to a regular site instead of the car site so you can get some good images of it.

01:38:12.000 It's a nasty car.

01:38:14.000 They're super fast, too. 0.96

01:38:17.000 The F-Type, I think they call it, is like 560 horsepower or something ridiculous.

01:38:22.000 Really fast, really loud, like boisterous.

01:38:27.000 That's cool.

01:38:28.000 Dude, they nailed it.

01:38:30.000 Look at that.

01:38:30.000 Come on.

01:38:31.000 That's perfect.

01:38:31.000 They nailed it.

01:38:32.000 I mean, that is a fucking beautiful piece of automotive engineering and artwork. 0.99

01:38:37.000 They nailed that. 0.98

01:38:38.000 That is a futuristic-looking car right there.

01:38:41.000 It starts off at 63,000?

01:38:44.000 They're not that expensive for what they are. 0.97

01:38:47.000 I mean, for $63,000 you're not going to get the stupid super powerful one, but you still get that same beautiful shape. 0.92

01:38:53.000 I wonder what their maintenance is like. 0.96

01:38:56.000 Because, you know, Car and Driver did this thing on the new Corvette.

01:38:59.000 I was all gung-ho for the new Corvette.

01:39:01.000 I'm like, that car's sick.

01:39:02.000 I think I might be interested in driving one of those. 1.00

01:39:05.000 Go America, all that good shit. 0.99

01:39:07.000 But their repair record, at least for Car and Driver, Road and Track, Car and Driver, one of those. 1.00

01:39:14.000 Car and Driver.

01:39:14.000 I don't know which one it was, but their repair record was atrocious.

01:39:18.000 Like, this thing's falling apart.

01:39:19.000 They had to replace the engine already.

01:39:21.000 At 6,000 miles, they replaced the entire engine.

01:39:23.000 Maybe it was just a lemon that they had, though.

01:39:25.000 I had that happen with my old car.

01:39:27.000 I mean, everything went wrong with it.

01:39:28.000 Look how dope that cockpit looks.

01:39:30.000 I like it.

01:39:31.000 The F-type interior.

01:39:32.000 Go full screen on that, Jamie.

01:39:33.000 Let me see that.

01:39:34.000 A few image.

01:39:35.000 Look at that. 1.00

01:39:36.000 That is fucking... 1.00

01:39:37.000 That's a spaceship, man. 0.99

01:39:39.000 God, I just love what they're doing these days.

01:39:42.000 I just love the fact that everything continues to improve. 0.97

01:39:46.000 Like, whatever you buy, whether you're buying toasters or whether you're buying televisions or cars, they just keep making shit better and better and better. 0.93

01:39:56.000 And now you can get really good shit fairly reasonably, for fairly reasonable money. 0.98

01:40:03.000 I saw some review they were doing about this new Jeep that they have. 0.98

01:40:06.000 It's like a Jeep, but it's based on the Fiat platform.

01:40:09.000 It's like a tiny Jeep.

01:40:11.000 $30,000.

01:40:12.000 Really?

01:40:13.000 Yes.

01:40:14.000 And you're in it, and the guy's looking around.

01:40:16.000 He's like, this is a nice car, and it's $30,000.

01:40:19.000 It's like a small-looking, smushed Jeep.

01:40:23.000 But you're in it, and you're looking at the car.

01:40:26.000 You're like, you could get this for 30 grand?

01:40:29.000 This is pretty nice, you know?

01:40:31.000 It's like you drive it.

01:40:32.000 It's respectable.

01:40:33.000 It's a decent vehicle.

01:40:35.000 Do you think Volkswagen's going to survive this? 1.00

01:40:37.000 They're fucked. 1.00

01:40:38.000 They're fucked, right? 1.00

01:40:38.000 They're fucked. 1.00

01:40:39.000 Better get your money now, kid. 1.00

01:40:41.000 Right?

01:40:42.000 Because I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do with mine, and Dean Delray is also thinking about buying a Volkswagen.

01:40:48.000 Sell them yours.

01:40:49.000 He was there the other day, and they were like...

01:40:51.000 It's convertible.

01:40:51.000 It's almost like a motorcycle.

01:40:53.000 They were talking about how, oh, this is a rare one, and it's just a $3,000 extra bonus for this car. 0.99

01:40:58.000 And I'm like, wait, aren't they about to get fucked, right? 0.99

01:41:01.000 Yeah, they're doomed. 1.00

01:41:02.000 All right, I gotta get out of there.

01:41:03.000 Give it to Dean.

01:41:04.000 Sell it to him.

01:41:05.000 He doesn't want a Beetle convertible.

01:41:07.000 Doesn't?

01:41:07.000 What does he want?

01:41:08.000 Something gangster?

01:41:09.000 The GTI. Oh.

01:41:10.000 R. Well, those are fast little cars.

01:41:15.000 I used to have a Corrado, a Volkswagen Corrado.

01:41:17.000 That was a front-wheel drive car.

01:41:18.000 But those GTIs are very fast. 0.98

01:41:20.000 Yeah, the new ones are ridiculous.

01:41:21.000 Well, it's because as the engineering gets better and the cars get better, even a car that used to be kind of quick, like back in the day when I had a Volkswagen, they're fast now.

01:41:32.000 If you compared a Volkswagen when I had my Volkswagen, which was 1993, I think I bought it, A Corvette from that day is probably slower than a GTI from today.

01:41:46.000 Because they're just better now.

01:41:48.000 Everything's better.

01:41:49.000 Braking's better.

01:41:49.000 Handling's better.

01:41:50.000 If it went around a slalom, I bet the GTI would probably beat it.

01:41:56.000 Yeah, it's the one he's looking at.

01:41:59.000 Don't talk Dean into that.

01:42:00.000 Talk Dean into your car.

01:42:02.000 Should he be saying this online?

01:42:04.000 292 horsepower.

01:42:05.000 It's a nice car.

01:42:06.000 It's probably super light, too.

01:42:08.000 292?

01:42:09.000 That's pretty respectable for a light car.

01:42:11.000 Those are fun, man.

01:42:13.000 Little light, fun car like that to drive?

01:42:15.000 How much do those go for?

01:42:16.000 It's like 30, I think. 0.93

01:42:18.000 Why don't you tell those dummies to hook you up? 1.00

01:42:19.000 Say, listen, I could just get on a podcast and talk mad shit about you all the time, but I don't want to do that. 1.00

01:42:26.000 And say, my friend Joe, he just always wants to talk shit about Volkswagen. 0.99

01:42:30.000 I discourage a lot of the conversations. 0.98

01:42:34.000 But anyway, that's beside the point.

01:42:35.000 I'm interested in those GTIs.

01:42:37.000 Can we make something happen?

01:42:38.000 The Golf R. Whatever it is.

01:42:40.000 Is that what it is?

01:42:41.000 A Golf R? Yeah.

01:42:42.000 That's a slick little car.

01:42:44.000 That's gotta be fun.

01:42:45.000 I just don't know whether to stay with Volkswagen or not.

01:42:47.000 They're good engineering.

01:42:49.000 I mean, it's German engineering.

01:42:50.000 They've always made great cars.

01:42:52.000 What they've done is horrible, though.

01:42:54.000 I mean, you would have to wonder whether or not that's reflected in the rest of what they're doing.

01:43:01.000 What they did is terrible.

01:43:03.000 I mean, they've lied.

01:43:05.000 It was in the Audis too, right?

01:43:06.000 What's that?

01:43:06.000 It was in the Audis too, I think.

01:43:07.000 Was it?

01:43:08.000 I don't think so.

01:43:09.000 I think I know what you're talking about.

01:43:11.000 I think Audi was talking about how many different cars it was because they were a part of the thing, but I don't believe it was their cars as well. 0.99

01:43:20.000 I'm pretty sure it had to do with diesels for the most part, which is what Callan has, that fuck. 0.99

01:43:25.000 And I was always telling him, like, this thing stinks. 1.00

01:43:27.000 How could this be good for the environment?

01:43:30.000 Does it smell?

01:43:31.000 Because I almost bought a diesel one. 1.00

01:43:32.000 They fucking stink. 0.99

01:43:33.000 And I was always telling them, I was like, how can this be good for the environment? 1.00

01:43:36.000 It is.

01:43:37.000 It's amazing.

01:43:37.000 It's really good.

01:43:38.000 It's amazing for the environment.

01:43:42.000 Yeah, I mean, and it's German engineering built in Mexico now.

01:43:47.000 You know what I would get if I was you?

01:43:48.000 Honestly, if you don't want to spend too much money, I would get a Volkswagen, not a Volkswagen, a Mustang.

01:43:53.000 Get one of the new Mustangs. 0.94

01:43:55.000 The new Mustang GTs, that's another car that's like 30-something, and they're really fucking good. 0.98

01:44:00.000 They're really good. 0.92

01:44:01.000 They did a review of one of them recently.

01:44:03.000 This guy took it for a test drive and he's driving around.

01:44:06.000 He's like, this is a hell of a car for $35,000.

01:44:10.000 He's like, it's fast.

01:44:11.000 It handles good.

01:44:12.000 It looks great.

01:44:14.000 This is like the bargain of all American cars.

01:44:17.000 Because, like, this is the best Mustang ever, by far.

01:44:22.000 Like, by far.

01:44:23.000 It's got fully independent suspension.

01:44:25.000 The form is beautiful.

01:44:27.000 The interior is really nice. 0.99

01:44:29.000 Like, you get in the interior, you're like, these fucking seats and the steering wheel. 0.99

01:44:33.000 Like, it's a solid car. 0.99

01:44:35.000 And then you go, it's only 30 grand?

01:44:36.000 Like, you can get a Mustang GT, I think it's 30%.

01:44:40.000 $35,000 or $39,000. 0.98

01:44:42.000 And that thing has 420 horsepower, fast as shit, handles really good. 0.98

01:44:49.000 I mean, it's a great car. 0.98

01:44:50.000 But, you know, having such a small, fast, peppy car the last three years, there's a big difference between having almost like a go-kart and then having like a...

01:45:00.000 A big muscle car kind of thing.

01:45:02.000 Oh, like a Mustang, you mean?

01:45:03.000 Yeah.

01:45:03.000 Right.

01:45:04.000 But they're so fast, you would notice a difference.

01:45:06.000 And you'd have more space inside of it.

01:45:09.000 Like, they handle so good.

01:45:11.000 These new ones, like, they don't feel like big... 0.99

01:45:13.000 You know, like my Barracuda was that big, lumbering, fucking shitty-to-drive car. 0.99

01:45:18.000 Like... 1.00

01:45:19.000 We're good to go.

01:45:48.000 They have cars that can read the road and prepare for the bumps. 1.00

01:45:52.000 What the fuck? 0.98

01:45:54.000 Like, they see the road in front of them and be like, uh-oh, bumps coming. 0.99

01:45:56.000 We're just going to loosen this up and make this light and tighten this up.

01:46:00.000 It's incredible.

01:46:03.000 There's something missing.

01:46:04.000 Like, when you drive them, they feel numb.

01:46:06.000 You know, like, you're not experiencing the feel of the road.

01:46:10.000 But, God, their capabilities are just amazing.

01:46:14.000 Meanwhile, we're probably 10 years away from having most of the cars on the road automated.

01:46:21.000 Maybe 10 years away.

01:46:22.000 You're going to get in your car in the morning.

01:46:24.000 Say if you had a regular job, you would get in your car in the morning and you would press, you know, office, boom, whatever it is, and you just sit down. 0.99

01:46:34.000 You sit down, you read your newspaper, you look at your laptop, and that asshole that's not automated, he's going to be the problem. 0.99

01:46:41.000 You're like, I drove to work today. 1.00

01:46:42.000 It's just a fucking guy in an old Volkswagen, totally not automated, just running red lights. 0.99

01:46:47.000 He hit this lady who's automated. 1.00

01:46:50.000 Yeah, I think that and Uber drones. 0.93

01:46:53.000 Like, you know, being picked up by a drone is going to be another thing in the future.

01:46:59.000 That's way more problematic.

01:47:01.000 Because you're going to have to get something that's big enough to fly people around in, which means before Uber ever uses it, people are going to be flying around in them.

01:47:10.000 And if once people can fly around in them...

01:47:13.000 They're not going to trust other people to drive them around in it.

01:47:16.000 There'd have to be a way to...

01:47:17.000 You know what they'd have to do?

01:47:18.000 They'd have to have those things, but have them completely magnetized on the outside so that they could never collide with each other.

01:47:25.000 So there's something that keeps them from each other.

01:47:28.000 And then you would have to have some software that overrode the ability to direct it into buildings. 0.97

01:47:37.000 Because otherwise people would just fucking... 1.00

01:47:39.000 You fucking cunt! 1.00

01:47:41.000 I'm coming to your work right now! 1.00

01:47:42.000 I'm on the 12th floor, you'll never get through the lobby! 1.00

01:47:44.000 Fuck you! 1.00

01:47:45.000 And they'd just fly through the building and kill her. 1.00

01:47:48.000 I mean, people would do that, you know? 0.99

01:47:50.000 There'd be people that, they'd just decide, I'm fucking, I'm gonna take out the U.S. Open, it's playing, I'm gonna do the ninth hole, and I'm gonna fucking crash my car right into everybody.

01:48:00.000 People just can decide to go places where ordinarily fences were there until now.

01:48:06.000 Have you been tempted to buy a drone yet?

01:48:08.000 I was at Fry's the other day.

01:48:10.000 They had a really nice drone, but it's like $600, but a really nice one.

01:48:15.000 I know a guy who has one.

01:48:16.000 It was cool.

01:48:17.000 He brought it to this place we're at in Alberta, and we're all hanging out in this field, and he sent it up in the air.

01:48:24.000 And it circled us.

01:48:25.000 It circled us all.

01:48:27.000 We're all sitting around looking up, and it circled us, and he showed us the video.

01:48:30.000 And I was like, whoa, this is nuts.

01:48:32.000 Like, it's high-speed HD video from a laptop, or from a cell phone, rather.

01:48:39.000 Like, you could attach, like, an iPhone to it.

01:48:42.000 GoPros.

01:48:42.000 This is crazy.

01:48:43.000 GoPros, yeah.

01:48:45.000 It's crazy.

01:48:45.000 And they're doing it now where it sets up with virtual reality.

01:48:49.000 So you put those VR goggles on and then you look through the eyes of the drone.

01:48:53.000 The drone flies over trees.

01:48:54.000 I've done that.

01:48:55.000 That's nuts.

01:48:56.000 It's weird.

01:48:58.000 They're big in weddings now.

01:48:59.000 Like, that's a huge thing.

01:49:00.000 Photographers from weddings now have big drone fly-throughs at the wedding and stuff like that.

01:49:06.000 Oh, boy.

01:49:08.000 What a strange world we live in, Brian.

01:49:11.000 Did you hear about the Saudi prince?

01:49:13.000 What happened?

01:49:14.000 He got away.

01:49:14.000 How did he get away?

01:49:15.000 The guy was accused of rape?

01:49:17.000 Yeah, they arrested him for bail.

01:49:18.000 He got a $300,000 bail and now he's gone.

01:49:20.000 Whoa.

01:49:21.000 He took off out of the country?

01:49:22.000 Yeah, his neighbors said he was probably moving.

01:49:24.000 They saw some cars come in on, like, Tuesday night, Wednesday, Monday night, something like that.

01:49:28.000 Whoa.

01:49:29.000 Next day he's gone.

01:49:30.000 Wow.

01:49:33.000 Back to Saudi Arabia, huh?

01:49:35.000 Wow.

01:49:36.000 Saudi royal drama.

01:49:37.000 The prince has flown the $37 million.

01:49:40.000 So his bail was $37 million?

01:49:41.000 No, that's his house.

01:49:42.000 That's how much his house is.

01:49:43.000 Oh.

01:49:43.000 But I heard he was renting.

01:49:46.000 I heard he was renting the house.

01:49:47.000 We were just talking about this a couple weeks ago.

01:49:50.000 Well, we were talking about these guys that come over and they have a shit ton of money and they buy all this expensive real estate and then there was the people that were racing.

01:49:57.000 You saw that, Brian, right?

01:49:59.000 The racers.

01:50:00.000 Oh, he only had a $300,000 bail? 0.99

01:50:02.000 Yeah, how the fuck? 1.00

01:50:03.000 They think that that might have been a fucking bullshit LA County thing. 1.00

01:50:06.000 They were just taking $300,000 to pay for something and then he's out of here anyway. 0.99

01:50:12.000 Neighbors say they believe the prince has already fled the country in a private jet, leaving his rented house behind.

01:50:16.000 One woman, who would only give her name, as Isabelle said, numerous cars were coming in and out of the property late Thursday, and it looked like the prince was moving out.

01:50:26.000 Meanwhile, remember, imagine living next to a prince.

01:50:29.000 Another neighbor, Eric Stitzkin, Rumpelstitzkin, added, I am sure he has taken off on his private jet by now.

01:50:38.000 I don't think he even needs a passport to get out of here.

01:50:44.000 Quote me on that.

01:50:48.000 Yeah, those guys have money.

01:50:50.000 It's amazing.

01:50:51.000 It's scary.

01:50:51.000 This is what you can get away with in 2015, that you only pay a couple hundred thousand dollars for bail, even though they know you're worth trillions.

01:51:00.000 I mean, how much is that guy worth?

01:51:03.000 And he just bails.

01:51:04.000 And there's nothing they can do about it.

01:51:05.000 He's 29 years old, huh?

01:51:07.000 Wow.

01:51:08.000 It's amazing.

01:51:09.000 And his name is so confusing, no one's going to remember it, so he can come back here in a couple weeks.

01:51:14.000 Well, he's a prince, dude.

01:51:16.000 He can't come back.

01:51:17.000 But unless somehow or another they forget.

01:51:21.000 Saudi prince accused of sex crimes could face legal lasso in flight.

01:51:26.000 What legal lasso?

01:51:27.000 Just doesn't come back to America. 0.96

01:51:30.000 What legal lasso?

01:51:31.000 Hey, don't go there.

01:51:32.000 They'll arrest you.

01:51:32.000 Okay, stay here.

01:51:34.000 I mean, unless Saudi Arabia gets bombed, that's not going to happen.

01:51:38.000 There's so much money.

01:51:39.000 It's really interesting watching Periscope over there.

01:51:42.000 Because they just, you know, they want to show off everything they have all the time.

01:51:45.000 And I'll just sit there.

01:51:46.000 Periscope's really changed me lately.

01:51:48.000 I'll just sit in bed and just go on the map and go, let's see who's periscoping in Japan right now. 0.86

01:51:54.000 You do that?

01:51:55.000 Yeah.

01:51:56.000 And you just go to Saudi Arabia?

01:51:57.000 Yeah, just go to Saudi Arabia.

01:51:58.000 It's usually a guy just sitting there in like a backseat of a limo, you know, with like his stuff on.

01:52:04.000 Yeah.

01:52:05.000 Just like, hey, what's up, brother?

01:52:07.000 And they go in between knowing English.

01:52:09.000 I'll just go in and go, yo, what's up, man?

01:52:11.000 How you doing?

01:52:12.000 And they talk to you?

01:52:13.000 Oh, hey.

01:52:14.000 Yeah, it's so weird.

01:52:15.000 They go in between languages. 0.64

01:52:17.000 Oh, wow.

01:52:17.000 It's very interesting.

01:52:19.000 So you send a little text message to them?

01:52:21.000 Yeah, I just troll people.

01:52:22.000 So I'll start trolling.

01:52:23.000 I'm like, where's your tiger?

01:52:24.000 You guys ever eat bacon?

01:52:26.000 No.

01:52:27.000 When you go to their page, how many people are viewing it?

01:52:30.000 It's usually like 10, 14. Oh, wow.

01:52:33.000 It's not many people.

01:52:37.000 You're so weird, the things that you do.

01:52:38.000 It's really interesting watching people on Periscope.

01:52:41.000 With the map feature, it's really cool.

01:52:43.000 Because you could just go, let's see what's going on in a random town in Mexico.

01:52:46.000 And it's just some little Mexican woman just sitting there going, you know. 1.00

01:52:49.000 It's weird.

01:52:50.000 Making tacos.

01:52:51.000 Making tacos. 1.00

01:52:52.000 Fucking shit. 1.00

01:52:53.000 Getting the Pope to clean her feet. 1.00

01:52:54.000 Yeah.

01:52:56.000 Yeah, and there's a lot of weird motivational speakers.

01:53:01.000 On Periscope?

01:53:01.000 Yeah, and a lot of scam artist guys from Beverly Hills.

01:53:04.000 Like, yeah, I created this company.

01:53:06.000 If anyone wants to meet here and talk about Periscope, and just random women showing up like, oh, you're a millionaire. 1.00

01:53:12.000 I saw you on Periscope.

01:53:13.000 Whoa.

01:53:14.000 It's creepy.

01:53:15.000 That is creepy.

01:53:18.000 Yeah, I don't use it anymore. 0.92

01:53:20.000 I use it a couple times at the store, and I was like, I can't be fucking bothered.

01:53:25.000 And also, I think there's just, I've got too much going on as it is.

01:53:29.000 This stuff's already spread me thin, whether it's Facebook or Twitter or Instagram.

01:53:35.000 It's like, it's enough.

01:53:36.000 I go long periods of time without using any of it.

01:53:39.000 Speaking of which, I'll take an Instagram of you right now.

01:53:43.000 My latest thing is Facebook.

01:53:45.000 Thinking about getting rid of Facebook.

01:53:47.000 What?

01:53:48.000 Like, completely.

01:53:49.000 Smile.

01:53:51.000 Why would you say you get rid of Facebook? 0.99

01:53:55.000 You know, when they do that shit where it's like, oh, six years ago today, you did this. 0.98

01:53:59.000 And you're like, oh my god, I completely forgot I had that on there. 0.98

01:54:03.000 The smile part didn't work.

01:54:04.000 Smile again.

01:54:06.000 Smile like you're happy.

01:54:07.000 I can't.

01:54:08.000 I gotta get my teeth fixed.

01:54:09.000 What are you doing with your teeth?

01:54:10.000 My tooth is just...

01:54:12.000 I have a tooth that was supposed to be replaced 25 years ago.

01:54:14.000 Punch your tooth again?

01:54:18.000 I have a tooth that was supposed to be fixed like 25 years ago.

01:54:21.000 It's just a temporary tooth and I haven't fixed it.

01:54:23.000 Now recently it's just like stained and it won't stop.

01:54:28.000 Won't stop staining?

01:54:29.000 I wonder why.

01:54:30.000 Cigarettes, coffee.

01:54:31.000 Weird.

01:54:32.000 It's supposed to be.

01:54:33.000 It's not supposed to be in my mouth though.

01:54:35.000 They were like, oh, you know, you could wear this for like a couple months, but you should come in and probably replace this.

01:54:40.000 It's just a temporary.

01:54:41.000 20 years later, you're like, um, guys?

01:54:44.000 Um, guys?

01:54:46.000 I hate the dentist.

01:54:49.000 That's one of the most illogical fears, the fears of the dentist.

01:54:52.000 I had a lot of trauma as a kid in the dentist though, so it wasn't a happy place for me.

01:54:57.000 What about that guy?

01:54:58.000 Was he a dentist or a doctor in San Diego? 0.99

01:55:00.000 He raped eight different women. 0.99

01:55:02.000 Eight. 0.98

01:55:03.000 And they gave him a year of house arrest. 1.00

01:55:07.000 He raped eight different women while they were unconscious, put them under, and fucked them. 1.00

01:55:13.000 And this guy got a year of house arrest. 1.00

01:55:16.000 Why is that?

01:55:17.000 Rape culture. 1.00

01:55:18.000 Rape culture. 1.00

01:55:20.000 That's one of the times where I side with the social justice warriors.

01:55:23.000 I'm like, well, maybe it's right.

01:55:24.000 You know, when you see things like that, I mean, obviously.

01:55:27.000 You're dealing with 350 million people in this country. 0.98

01:55:32.000 The number of human beings in this country is fucking staggering, okay? 1.00

01:55:36.000 And in that staggering number, you're gonna have cunts. 1.00

01:55:39.000 There's absolutely going to be a certain amount of people that are just horrible. 0.99

01:55:43.000 And this is one of them. 1.00

01:55:44.000 Alright, molested, not fucked. 1.00

01:55:46.000 No, no, no. 1.00

01:55:46.000 He fucked them. 1.00

01:55:47.000 He fucked them. 1.00

01:55:48.000 He penetrated them when they were unconscious. 1.00

01:55:51.000 Look at him.

01:55:51.000 He doesn't seem like he's very dangerous.

01:55:54.000 I mean, I'm not lying, right?

01:55:55.000 Didn't they say he had sex with them? 0.59

01:55:58.000 I'm pretty sure. 0.98

01:56:00.000 Hmm.

01:56:01.000 Well, Cosby, three new women came out today. 1.00

01:56:04.000 Three new ones?

01:56:05.000 Yeah.

01:56:05.000 Jesus.

01:56:06.000 One victim was only eight years old. 1.00

01:56:07.000 Fuck this guy. 1.00

01:56:09.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:56:11.000 Oh, there's 12 victims.

01:56:14.000 Oh, my God.

01:56:20.000 He suffers from kidney cancer, quickly pleaded guilty, sparing his victims from testifying about his crimes.

01:56:26.000 Dude, I don't want to hear this, man. 0.99

01:56:28.000 I want this guy to just be dead. 1.00

01:56:31.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:56:32.000 The idea that someone could do that to you while you're unconscious, just fuck you. 1.00

01:56:41.000 It's such one of the creepiest things. 1.00

01:56:43.000 Imagine standing over someone while they're unconscious and just thinking about what you're going to do to them. 0.99

01:56:48.000 Just flicking them in the head. 1.00

01:56:51.000 Pulling your dick out, resting on their nose, taking pictures. 1.00

01:56:55.000 Yeah, I had that once and it freaked me out. 1.00

01:56:57.000 I woke up in another room and it was dark.

01:56:58.000 I'm like, where am I? And I totally forgot where I was, counting backwards.

01:57:02.000 Did you really?

01:57:03.000 Yeah.

01:57:03.000 Like you thought you were unconscious?

01:57:05.000 No, no, like where they make you count backwards and then you wake up and you're in another room and you're like, wait, what the fuck happened? 0.89

01:57:10.000 Where am I? So what is your fear about the dentist? 0.90

01:57:14.000 Did you experience pain when you were a kid?

01:57:16.000 Yeah, when I was young, I was in a car accident, and my two front teeth got knocked in half.

01:57:22.000 They cut in half in this car accident.

01:57:24.000 And I had to have a lot of different surgeries. 0.99

01:57:27.000 I mean, I'm like six years old getting drills and shit in my mouth. 0.95

01:57:33.000 And then I've had them knocked out before, after that, and they put them in again. 0.93

01:57:38.000 Growing up, I had a lot of teeth problems, just like surgical stuff.

01:57:43.000 Two separate wisdom tooth, compact tooth, implant into my skull. 0.98

01:57:48.000 It's crazy.

01:57:49.000 Teeth are kind of annoying.

01:57:51.000 Stop and think about it.

01:57:52.000 You only get one pair of them, and they're not even anchored in.

01:57:55.000 They come out, you get punched, they fall out, and then they're gone forever.

01:57:59.000 Like, what?

01:58:00.000 I've seen a lot of people get their teeth knocked out.

01:58:02.000 It's super common.

01:58:04.000 In MMA, it happens all the time.

01:58:05.000 It happens in fights all the time.

01:58:07.000 I'll be talking to guys even post-fight and they're like, my teeth are knocked out.

01:58:11.000 My teeth are really loose right now.

01:58:13.000 You see the blood and they have to go and get everything wired in.

01:58:16.000 It's real common. 0.99

01:58:17.000 It's a shitty design. 0.92

01:58:19.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:58:20.000 Well, nowadays with implants and those fake teeth, everyone has really nice teeth.

01:58:25.000 Stem cell dental implants grow new teeth right in your mouth.

01:58:29.000 Jesus Christ.

01:58:31.000 It's from 2010, but I heard about it recently.

01:58:33.000 It still sounds pretty cool, especially with the stem cell stuff you've been talking about.

01:58:37.000 Dude, I am a big fan.

01:58:39.000 I need a stem cell with my knee.

01:58:40.000 You probably do.

01:58:41.000 I'm a big fan of the stem cells.

01:58:43.000 I wouldn't say my...

01:58:44.000 Excuse me.

01:58:46.000 I wouldn't say that my shoulder is 100% after a stem cell because I still kind of feel it, but I don't have any pain.

01:58:52.000 And I'm not doing anything heavy as far as like bench pressing, but I'm doing a lot of crazy rowing, like heavy weights, like 100 pound dumbbells, 110 pound dumbbells, no problem.

01:59:04.000 I'm doing chin-ups, no problem.

01:59:06.000 I'm doing hard sets of chin-ups, you know, like where I'm pulling to fatigue, no problem.

01:59:13.000 I'm doing push-ups.

01:59:14.000 I haven't doing any bench press, but I've been doing like a lot of sets of push-ups because I don't want to tax the area too much because it's only been two months.

01:59:21.000 I keep waiting for it to hurt the next day.

01:59:23.000 No problems.

01:59:24.000 No pain. 1.00

01:59:25.000 One fucking injection of stem cells. 1.00

01:59:28.000 Wow. 1.00

01:59:29.000 And it seems like every day, like you used to like click and crunch a lot.

01:59:32.000 Every day the clicking and crunching gets lighter and lighter.

01:59:35.000 It's like it's less and less.

01:59:36.000 It's only been eight weeks.

01:59:38.000 It'll be eight weeks on Friday.

01:59:40.000 That's great.

01:59:41.000 It's nuts.

01:59:41.000 It's nuts, man.

01:59:42.000 It's weird.

01:59:44.000 Can you just go get another one, or do you have to wait a certain amount of time before it's...

01:59:47.000 That's debatable.

01:59:48.000 You know, it depends on who you're talking to.

01:59:50.000 Like, Dr. Gordon says I could do it all the time.

01:59:52.000 He's like, go in again.

01:59:53.000 He's like, it's just healing you.

01:59:55.000 He's like, they're just...

01:59:55.000 What it is, it's just the stem cells will find the area of your body that's having an issue, and they go in and heal it.

02:00:02.000 But the other doctors are more cautious.

02:00:05.000 They're like, you know...

02:00:06.000 But he's dealing with football players with brain injuries and soldiers with brain injuries and fighters with brain injuries. 1.00

02:00:12.000 So he's like, what are you, a pussy? 1.00

02:00:14.000 You got something wrong with your shoulder? 1.00

02:00:15.000 Shoot it up. 0.91

02:00:15.000 Do they know what happens if they inject too much of it? 0.91

02:00:18.000 The dick grows. 1.00

02:00:18.000 Huge. 1.00

02:00:19.000 It grows a second head and they fight to the death.

02:00:21.000 The first head and the second head fight to the death. 1.00

02:00:23.000 Then you have to kill the dead head. 1.00

02:00:25.000 You have to get it chopped off. 0.99

02:00:26.000 What if you put stem cells in sperm and then put it in stem cells? 0.85

02:00:32.000 Probably tastes different.

02:00:36.000 You probably wouldn't enjoy it.

02:00:38.000 My friend who works at Tejón Ranch, my friend Brian, sent me a photograph.

02:00:43.000 When people get mad at people that hunt, I need to understand that one of the biggest things that kills animals like deer and elk is they kill each other.

02:00:55.000 This big giant elk got killed by another elk.

02:00:58.000 It stabbed him to death with its antlers. 1.00

02:01:01.000 Look at the size of that fucker. 1.00

02:01:03.000 It's huge. 1.00

02:01:04.000 Huge.

02:01:05.000 It looks like it has one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight points on one side and seven points on another.

02:01:14.000 So it's an enormous, enormous elk.

02:01:17.000 And another elk stabbed it to death with its antlers.

02:01:20.000 And they found it rotten with holes in its sides. 0.90

02:01:24.000 It's nuts. 0.99

02:01:25.000 Damn, right now, 10 killed, up to 10 killed in shooter in Oregon College. 1.00

02:01:30.000 Right now? 1.00

02:01:30.000 Today? 1.00

02:01:31.000 Yeah, right now. 1.00

02:01:32.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:01:33.000 20 injured. 1.00

02:01:34.000 Jesus Christ.

02:01:35.000 Shooter open, fired. 0.72

02:01:37.000 You know what? 1.00

02:01:38.000 If they had guns on schools, here's what's fucked up. 0.98

02:01:41.000 That wouldn't happen. 0.97

02:01:43.000 If people are allowed to have guns on campus, if there were armed guards on campus, if teachers were allowed to carry guns, if students were allowed to carry guns, if the gun enthusiasts...

02:01:52.000 Like, everybody's worried the gun enthusiasts would be shooting more people.

02:01:55.000 I don't think that's the problem.

02:01:57.000 I think if people want to shoot people, they can get guns pretty easy, like this guy.

02:02:01.000 But I think regular people, if they had guns more often...

02:02:05.000 This is a very controversial stance.

02:02:08.000 Because a lot of people think that more guns is more problems.

02:02:11.000 But I think that a lot of reasons why these people that are horrible, horrible people that go and do these things and shoot up schools is because they know schools are not going to be armed.

02:02:19.000 It's the same reason why they don't want to go and shoot up a military base, unless they're trying to suicide.

02:02:25.000 You mean like security guards?

02:02:28.000 Security guards, teachers.

02:02:30.000 I think teachers should be able to have guns. 0.95

02:02:32.000 There's police at a lot of colleges.

02:02:33.000 Are you eating?

02:02:34.000 I had a nibble.

02:02:36.000 There's police at a lot of colleges.

02:02:38.000 Some colleges, yeah.

02:02:39.000 But this was a community college, so I would imagine they didn't.

02:02:41.000 Yeah.

02:02:42.000 And how armed are they?

02:02:46.000 How well prepared are they for something like this?

02:02:48.000 It's terrible, man. 1.00

02:02:50.000 This fucking shit drives me nuts. 1.00

02:02:52.000 And again, if you look at the numbers, everybody's terrified. 1.00

02:02:57.000 And when things like this happen, people call for gun control.

02:03:00.000 And I totally understand that way of thinking.

02:03:02.000 I understand that you're saying, hey, the problem is the guns.

02:03:05.000 We have to take the guns away from all these people.

02:03:07.000 We definitely have to keep guns out of the hands of irresponsible people.

02:03:11.000 We definitely have to keep guns out of the hands of insane people, definitely.

02:03:14.000 That's 100%.

02:03:15.000 But the idea that somehow or another a crazy person doing something bad should prevent a rational, sane person from having a gun, that doesn't make any sense to me.

02:03:24.000 It just doesn't make any sense.

02:03:26.000 It's not logical thinking.

02:03:27.000 The problem isn't guns. 0.92

02:03:29.000 The problem is insane people.

02:03:31.000 And if they didn't have guns, but they had bombs, you don't think they'd be setting bombs off all over the school?

02:03:36.000 So what are we gonna do?

02:03:37.000 We're gonna get rid of explosives?

02:03:39.000 And then we're gonna get rid of sharp objects?

02:03:41.000 We're gonna get rid of everything?

02:03:42.000 People are the problem. 1.00

02:03:44.000 People, their access to weapons is certainly a problem when they're nuts, but the real problem is that they're nuts. 0.99

02:03:51.000 The vast majority of people that I know that own guns, and this is where it gets crazy. 0.95

02:03:57.000 This is the truth. 0.99

02:03:58.000 When I go to the gun range, they're some of the nicest, most polite fucking people. 0.97

02:04:02.000 The people that I know from the world of hunting, some of the nicest, most polite people. 0.96

02:04:07.000 They're really friendly folks.

02:04:09.000 They're not bad people.

02:04:12.000 This idea that you're going to keep some psychopath from guns by taking the guns away from everybody, that's not smart thinking. 0.99

02:04:20.000 We have to figure out why the fuck people want to shoot people. 1.00

02:04:23.000 We have to figure out what the hell makes someone want to go to a school and start opening fire and killing a bunch of students. 1.00

02:04:28.000 That's what we have to figure out, because they're the problem.

02:04:31.000 It's not the actual weapon that they're using.

02:04:33.000 It's not the problem.

02:04:34.000 It's the actions of the human being in their mind. 1.00

02:04:40.000 It's fucked. 1.00

02:04:41.000 You know, people are like, you ain't taking away my guns. 1.00

02:04:44.000 But why are you taking away their guns?

02:04:47.000 They didn't shoot anybody.

02:04:49.000 They're not the problem.

02:04:50.000 The problem is the people that would be willing to do something like this.

02:04:53.000 It's not keeping the actual objects away from people.

02:04:59.000 It's figuring out what the fuck makes people want to use those objects. 0.92

02:05:05.000 You don't have a gun, huh? 0.98

02:05:07.000 No, not a real one.

02:05:08.000 I have a lot of fake ones.

02:05:10.000 Oh, that's good.

02:05:10.000 What do you do with them?

02:05:11.000 Stick them up your ass. 1.00

02:05:13.000 Play cops and robbers. 1.00

02:05:15.000 I'm losing again. 1.00

02:05:16.000 Shit, don't rape me with this gun. 1.00

02:05:17.000 Damn it, I can't believe you're doing it again. 1.00

02:05:20.000 Pretty much. 1.00

02:05:22.000 Why do you have fake guns?

02:05:26.000 I need to get a real gun.

02:05:28.000 I mean, I have no problem having a gun.

02:05:30.000 I only have fake guns because it was for a costume.

02:05:33.000 Oh, okay.

02:05:34.000 It's not like I'm trying to really...

02:05:36.000 Well, you shot real rifles with me.

02:05:38.000 We made that video.

02:05:39.000 That's fun.

02:05:39.000 I got to go next week if you want to go.

02:05:41.000 Yeah, I'd love to go.

02:05:42.000 Okay.

02:05:42.000 Probably going to wind up going Monday or Tuesday.

02:05:44.000 I'll let you know.

02:05:44.000 Cool.

02:05:45.000 It's fun.

02:05:45.000 It is fun.

02:05:46.000 As long as you have proper ear protection, it's fun to make shit go. 0.99

02:05:50.000 It was fun to shoot those hard drives. 0.99

02:05:51.000 That was fun.

02:05:52.000 Yeah.

02:05:52.000 Because it's such a small target.

02:05:53.000 You got to really concentrate.

02:05:56.000 We should try to bring some other cool stuff to shoot.

02:05:59.000 Yeah, they don't want us to, though.

02:06:01.000 It creates a mess.

02:06:02.000 We didn't even ask.

02:06:03.000 We just brought them out there.

02:06:05.000 We were kind of sneaky about it. 0.99

02:06:07.000 Blew those hard drives to shit, though. 0.99

02:06:09.000 It's kind of fun. 1.00

02:06:12.000 It's fun to shoot things.

02:06:14.000 People don't like to admit that for whatever reason, but it's fun.

02:06:18.000 Guns are fun.

02:06:19.000 Interesting thing about the new iPhone, I found out, that they actually have water seals inside of it.

02:06:24.000 Did you see that video?

02:06:25.000 This woman put her phone in there for, I think it was like an hour or something like that, underwater, no problem. 0.97

02:06:30.000 Still worked perfectly.

02:06:31.000 And everything works.

02:06:32.000 The power port works.

02:06:34.000 Everything works.

02:06:35.000 Yeah.

02:06:35.000 They tore it down.

02:06:36.000 They found there's rubber washers around almost everything now that it didn't used to be there.

02:06:41.000 And the reason why they're saying that is because Apple has that new trade-in program every year where you can upgrade to a new phone.

02:06:47.000 And so now there's going to be so many people returning their phones, they don't want to have a bunch of ruined phones, you know?

02:06:52.000 Oh, so it's up to them.

02:06:55.000 Oh, thanks, Apple.

02:06:57.000 I haven't gotten a new one yet.

02:06:59.000 Did you get a new one yet?

02:07:01.000 It's backordered right now, but yeah, I'm on that program where you can get a new phone every year.

02:07:05.000 They're backordered already?

02:07:06.000 Yeah, it was backordered immediately.

02:07:08.000 So when you go to the Apple store, they're backordered?

02:07:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:07:10.000 Sons of bitches. 1.00

02:07:11.000 That's a lot. 1.00

02:07:12.000 Like 13 million or something in the first couple days.

02:07:14.000 Yeah, people love them.

02:07:16.000 You know, when Lewis was here from Unbox Therapy, I'm telling you, that active Galaxy, I think I like that better than all of them.

02:07:23.000 The fact that it's waterproof, has that shock-resistant case, really tough screen.

02:07:28.000 I like that one the best.

02:07:30.000 It makes sense.

02:07:31.000 Yeah.

02:07:31.000 Why doesn't Apple make an Apple Sport?

02:07:34.000 You know, make a phone like that.

02:07:37.000 Like a little bit smaller screen, like super rugged, make it super waterproof, hard on the outside, can't break it.

02:07:44.000 Make a man's phone, brother. 1.00

02:07:47.000 A man's phone. 0.96

02:07:48.000 I gotta get out of here.

02:07:50.000 It's early 1215. I got shit I gotta do. 0.97

02:07:52.000 Anything else going on? 0.99

02:07:53.000 I'll be in Fresno tomorrow with Sam Tripoli.

02:07:55.000 Oh, that sounds like a day and night trip.

02:07:58.000 Drive home, son.

02:08:00.000 Yeah, but they just added a second show.

02:08:02.000 I'm gonna be at the Club One Casino.

02:08:03.000 You can go to tickets.

02:08:05.000 Just go to deskquad.tv and click on tour dates.

02:08:07.000 Powerful Sam Tripoli.

02:08:08.000 I ran into him last night.

02:08:09.000 He was telling me that he's auditioning for The Tonight Show.

02:08:12.000 He's got something going on.

02:08:13.000 Oh, really?

02:08:14.000 Yeah, it would be awesome to see Sam do four minutes on The Tonight Show.

02:08:16.000 Yeah.

02:08:17.000 Because you do like four and a half minutes.

02:08:19.000 But they're having comics on.

02:08:21.000 That's interesting.

02:08:22.000 Yeah.

02:08:23.000 That's in New York.

02:08:24.000 They asked me to do it, but I don't think I can do it.

02:08:26.000 I don't think I could do a four and a half minute set.

02:08:29.000 I wouldn't even know what to talk about.

02:08:31.000 I don't have that kind of an act.

02:08:33.000 One story.

02:08:34.000 Even then, it would be like, God, I would have to really know how to get out of the gate fast to do four and a half minutes.

02:08:40.000 It would be a fun writing exercise if I was motivated, but I'm not.

02:08:46.000 Fresno, so deathsquad.tv for that.

02:08:48.000 Yeah.

02:08:49.000 And every Wednesday, next Wednesday, Comedy Store have a secret show.

02:08:53.000 Oh, next Wednesday.

02:08:54.000 It's a secret.

02:08:55.000 You just told everybody.

02:08:56.000 There's a secret guest.

02:08:57.000 Oh, secret guest.

02:08:58.000 That I can't talk about. 1.00

02:08:59.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:09:01.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:09:01.000 Jesus! 1.00

02:09:02.000 It's getting out.

02:09:03.000 Alright, folks.

02:09:04.000 That's it for this week.

02:09:06.000 You got four podcasts. 0.99

02:09:07.000 Why are you complaining, you fucks? 0.99

02:09:09.000 You got two and a bonus. 1.00

02:09:12.000 Three and a bonus.

02:09:13.000 But we'll be back next week.

02:09:15.000 Lots of exciting guests.

02:09:16.000 Alonzo Bowden will be here next week, too.

02:09:18.000 Very excited.

02:09:18.000 I love Alonzo.

02:09:19.000 I haven't done a podcast with him yet.

02:09:21.000 I can't believe it.

02:09:22.000 And that's it.

02:09:23.000 So, enjoy your weekend. 1.00

02:09:27.000 Go fuck yourself. 1.00

02:09:28.000 Here's... 1.00

02:09:29.000 That's a kiss for you.

02:09:31.000 Here's one for your mom.

02:09:32.000 Alright.

02:09:33.000 Much love.

02:09:34.000 See you soon.

02:09:34.000 Bye bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 01, 2015

Joe Rogan Experience #703 - Brian Redban

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript