The Joe Rogan Experience - October 20, 2015


Joe Rogan Experience #711 - Brian Redban

Topics
Murder at Comedy Store boner pills steroids in supplements Playboy Playboy interviews Playboy Radio subscription model commercials and radio ratings Time Wars bait bikes entry-level gig doing comedy special at Ice House Elon Musk innovations
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Brian Redban
Mentioned
Russell Peters Jesus Christ Hillary Clinton Bill Cosby Bernie Sanders Dave Chappelle Godzilla Duncan Eddie Murphy Ron Paul Larry Flint Doug Benson Jamie Joey Marianne Williamson Obama Sigourney Weaver Brian Redband Phil Spector Howard Stern and 107 more
Joe Rogan Experience #710 - Gavin McInnes Joe Rogan Experience #712 - Wim Hof

Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 15 minutes

Words per minute

186.47

Word count

25,282

Sentence count

2,879

Harmful content

Misogyny

103

sentences flagged

Toxicity

846

sentences flagged

Hate speech

86

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

A man was shot and killed on a patio at the Comedy club The Stand-up comedy club, and no one has been charged. The police have no idea who the shooter is or what happened to him. Is it a black guy or a white guy? Or is it someone with a British accent? Or maybe it's a guy with a 5'10" frame and a dark hoodie? Who's the real suspect? And why did someone do this to a guy on the patio at The Standup Comedy Club? We try to figure out who could be the shooter, and why it could be a black man. Brian and Joe try to make sense of it all, but it seems like it could have been anyone but a black male with a white face and a black hoodie. And yet no suspects have come forward with any clues as to who could possibly have done this to someone who could have killed someone who is black and is not a white male. And why is it so hard to find a black person with a black face with a brown hoodie and a white hoodie that looks like that much shorter than normal? And how did this happen? What happened to this guy? And how do we know it wasn't a white person? We talk about it, and how we think we can find out who did this and why this could have happened? Thanks for listening to this episode of Do, Do, Dope, Do and Do, do, Do! -Brian and Joe! Subscribe to our new podcast Do, DO, Do...do, Do. and Do... do, do...do...do! We are live! and we are live, do we are going to be doing a live show next week! - Brian, Joe, do do, D-do, and we will be doing another live show on Saturday, so be sure to keep us up to date with you guys know who we are talking about it! Do you like it? Do we like it, do you do it? Do we do it well, do it right, do not do it better than we can do it like that? Do it well? -we are live? Do you have a review of it? We are listening to it well enough? Thank you, thank you? Brian & Joe Do, yes we do, we will do it, we are doing it well thank you!

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:01.000 Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
00:00:03.000 We are live.
00:00:05.000 Hello, Brian Redband.
00:00:06.000 Hey, Joe.
00:00:07.000 What's going on, fella?
00:00:08.000 Not much.
00:00:09.000 Crazy week.
00:00:10.000 Very crazy week.
00:00:11.000 Yeah.
00:00:12.000 Murder at the Comedy Store.
00:00:13.000 Ugh, that's insane.
00:00:15.000 I was supposed to go down there that night, too.
00:00:16.000 Me too.
00:00:17.000 A lot of us. 0.97
00:00:17.000 I decided the day of, I had too much shit to do that day and in the morning, and I said, you know what, I don't need to do a set tonight. 0.97
00:00:23.000 I was going to do the Stand Up on the Spot show, which was on before the Roast Battle show. 0.97
00:00:31.000 And I guess there was a show going on in the main room.
00:00:34.000 It was one of those air quotes, urban air quotes. 0.99
00:00:39.000 Yeah, they scratch records, and they have more melanin, and some shit went down. 0.99
00:00:45.000 And not that it matters, it was a box show. 0.99
00:00:47.000 Obviously, it could have been a white show.
00:00:49.000 I don't believe it was anybody in the show.
00:00:51.000 I think it was just people in the audience.
00:00:53.000 There was a guy on a patio, and obviously, I have like 15th hand information.
00:01:00.000 But the story is that this guy just walked right up to this guy and just shot him a bunch of times.
00:01:05.000 Yeah.
00:01:06.000 It's weird how...
00:01:08.000 Essentially, Chyna did one of those reenactments of it where... 1.00
00:01:12.000 Oh, those commercials.
00:01:13.000 CGI's, rather.
00:01:14.000 CGI's.
00:01:15.000 And it's really ridiculous how they show it.
00:01:17.000 And so I've been showing it around because a lot of us are always there Tuesday nights.
00:01:22.000 And Rose, the bartender, was standing right there.
00:01:26.000 She helped afterwards by putting towels and stuff on the guy. 0.63
00:01:31.000 A lot of people at Francisco Ramos was standing right next to him.
00:01:35.000 Matt Edgar.
00:01:36.000 A lot of our friends were hanging out on the patio because roast battle was going on.
00:01:40.000 And it's so crowded for roast battle that a lot of us just sit in the front patio and watch it.
00:01:45.000 Let's watch the Chinese reenactment.
00:01:47.000 First of all, note how everyone's white. 0.51
00:01:49.000 Except that guy.
00:01:50.000 Yeah.
00:01:51.000 So was it from there?
00:01:52.000 Wow, it does look like the Comedy Store.
00:01:54.000 Is that where it happened from?
00:01:55.000 You know, they're saying that, what Rose is saying, that this is not the side that it came on.
00:01:59.000 It was more right in the middle, you know, the entrance.
00:02:05.000 And was he that far away?
00:02:07.000 They're also saying he ran across the street, which is another thing.
00:02:09.000 A lot of people say that he got into a car and the car went down the street.
00:02:13.000 Other people are saying he didn't get in a car.
00:02:15.000 And it's interesting because there's so many people there, but yet they haven't released anything about the shooter except that he had a hoodie on.
00:02:23.000 Not like color of hoodie, height, nothing, which was odd, you know.
00:02:27.000 But it happened so fast, they say.
00:02:29.000 I don't know how those things usually work.
00:02:31.000 I don't know if they give up all the information about the suspect.
00:02:35.000 The problem is, if you tell people what it was, there's a really weird thing that happens when people see stuff.
00:02:44.000 People see things, and then their recollection of what they actually saw oftentimes is way off.
00:02:50.000 Like, they've done these experiments with people, where they've put them in stressful situations, like a fake bank robbery, and then they ask them to describe what happened.
00:03:00.000 And people, they get it so wrong.
00:03:02.000 And they think in their head that it's right. 0.98
00:03:04.000 I mean, I'm sure I've got some memories in my head like that, that are all fucked up. 0.97
00:03:08.000 And I'm sure you have some in your head. 0.97
00:03:10.000 I just think...
00:03:11.000 I think our memory, we would like to think it's like some stuff written down on paper or a video that you can watch and review, but it's not. 0.94
00:03:19.000 It's fucking very, very strange, especially when it comes to something like a murder, where someone steps out and boom, just shoots somebody. 0.81
00:03:27.000 So if you say, we're looking for a 5'10 black male with a red hoodie, people are going to find that guy. 0.99
00:03:33.000 They're going to see it, they're going to think it.
00:03:35.000 But if you say, we're looking for a 5'11 Thin white male with a British accent, then they'll say, I saw that guy.
00:03:45.000 I know it was him.
00:03:46.000 There's going to be a certain amount of people that will tell you, even though they saw a black guy in their head, they'll see that five foot tall, 11 English guy and they'll go, yes!
00:03:56.000 I did think he was English.
00:03:59.000 Especially with trauma and the fear of the instance, they're notoriously unreliable. 0.76
00:04:05.000 That's why when scientists talk about anecdotal evidence and evidence of people's experiences, when you're trying to talk about paranormal shit especially, Some people say, dude, you can't tell me what I saw.
00:04:17.000 I know what I saw. 0.79
00:04:18.000 Do you really?
00:04:19.000 Do you really know what you saw?
00:04:21.000 Because I don't know what I saw a lot of times.
00:04:23.000 If you looked at my memory just from yesterday, it's a blur of some snapshots.
00:04:29.000 And I had a great day. 0.99
00:04:31.000 I wasn't drunk, hanging out with the family, picked out some pumpkins, saw a fucking pig race, went to this... 1.00
00:04:39.000 Farm place where they let you pick out your own pumpkin. 0.99
00:04:42.000 It was fun.
00:04:42.000 A bunch of kids.
00:04:43.000 It was cute.
00:04:44.000 We had a good time.
00:04:45.000 Went in a corn maze.
00:04:47.000 My memory, my important thing is totally sober, having a great time, lots of laughs, but my memory is like, oh yeah, then we did that, and then we did that.
00:04:56.000 Oh yeah, we did that too.
00:04:57.000 I had some of that.
00:04:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:59.000 I had a sandwich.
00:05:00.000 And these like...
00:05:01.000 This idea that, you know, we have this infallible memory.
00:05:04.000 I think when you start putting out information, like, this is what the guy definitely looked like.
00:05:09.000 Based on who?
00:05:10.000 Based on whose head?
00:05:11.000 Who said it definitely looks like that?
00:05:12.000 The people that saw the shooting?
00:05:14.000 Hmm.
00:05:14.000 Okay, if you don't have a photo, you better be real careful what you say.
00:05:18.000 Because these people that saw the shooting, man, boy. 0.91
00:05:22.000 Some of them might be good at it, but we all know somebody who fucking sucks at remembering stories. 0.94
00:05:28.000 We all have that one person that is terrible at it. 0.75
00:05:31.000 Especially in a time of panic.
00:05:32.000 I know when I got robbed, I remember he had a fake beard, but that's about it.
00:05:38.000 He had some kind of coat, but I don't remember.
00:05:40.000 I was staring at him.
00:05:42.000 I should be able to know, oh yeah, he had a purple shirt on.
00:05:44.000 He had...
00:05:46.000 Isn't it funny that fake beards are not allowed?
00:05:48.000 But if you are a man and you wear a toupee, you can go through TSA with it. 1.00
00:05:54.000 They'll leave that stupid fake hair glued to your head. 1.00
00:05:59.000 That's so strange. 1.00
00:06:00.000 But if you try to go through TSA with a fake mustache, they'd be like, what the fuck are you trying to pull? 0.99
00:06:05.000 You can go in there with a mop of hair. 1.00
00:06:08.000 I wonder how long your fake hair can be before they go, listen, you fuck, take that thing off. 1.00
00:06:13.000 Could you go in there with a giant lion's mane? 1.00
00:06:16.000 If you went in there with some crazy... 1.00
00:06:18.000 If you were just stone-cold bald, and you went in there with a glued-on Fabio wig, like a full Fabio that goes all the way down to your ass, or even crazier. 1.00
00:06:28.000 There was a dude that I was... 0.99
00:06:29.000 I was at the House of Blues in Houston a couple weeks ago, and it was great.
00:06:34.000 It was awesome.
00:06:34.000 Me and Ian Edwards.
00:06:36.000 And there was a dude who's been growing his hair for 14 years that works there.
00:06:39.000 I got a picture of homeboy.
00:06:41.000 Is he a long ponytail?
00:06:42.000 Is that like super long?
00:06:43.000 No, no, no.
00:06:44.000 He went the dreadlock route.
00:06:47.000 It just takes one guy to try to put a bomb in his hairpiece to have a line where everyone has to get their toupees shoveled off or scraped off.
00:06:55.000 Well, there's not enough people that have big hair like that where you would have to look into it.
00:07:00.000 But yeah, if there was a lot of people running around with hair like that, they would start searching your hair.
00:07:06.000 Definitely.
00:07:06.000 100%.
00:07:07.000 But those radio wave things that they go through, here's homeboy.
00:07:11.000 You see his hair? 1.00
00:07:13.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:07:14.000 Yeah, it goes all the way down to his ass. 1.00
00:07:15.000 Like snakes. 1.00
00:07:16.000 Past his ass, excuse me, almost down to his knees. 1.00
00:07:18.000 That shit's got a smell. 1.00
00:07:20.000 It probably smells great. 1.00
00:07:21.000 It's got pockets of nest in there.
00:07:22.000 There's all kinds of living art forms in there.
00:07:25.000 Yeah.
00:07:29.000 Ebola.
00:07:29.000 What was I going to say?
00:07:31.000 Oh, but that was fake.
00:07:34.000 There's no way you could wear hair that long that's fake.
00:07:37.000 Because now you're wearing some crazy costume or something.
00:07:40.000 It has to be within the cultural norm.
00:07:43.000 It has to be culturally acceptable length hair.
00:07:47.000 Do you remember when that guy, Phil Spector, was on trial for murder? 1.00
00:07:51.000 That really crazy fuck? 0.99
00:07:52.000 Phil Spector, who Jamie probably knows who he is more than both of us, because he had that thing, the wall of sound, that he had kind of created. 1.00
00:08:00.000 He kind of created a new way of producing music.
00:08:05.000 Is that correct?
00:08:05.000 Is that the best way to describe it?
00:08:07.000 Yeah, you're pretty good.
00:08:08.000 That's good.
00:08:08.000 Yeah, but apparently he loved putting guns in people's faces.
00:08:12.000 He was just a fucking nut. 1.00
00:08:14.000 And he showed up for trial. 1.00
00:08:16.000 Look at that wig. 0.99
00:08:18.000 He showed up for trial wearing the different wigs, right?
00:08:23.000 Didn't he wear a couple different kinds?
00:08:26.000 Just that one?
00:08:27.000 No, what about that one?
00:08:28.000 So he's got two different wigs at least.
00:08:32.000 What ended up happening to him?
00:08:33.000 Is he in prison?
00:08:34.000 Oh yeah, he might be dead. 0.95
00:08:36.000 He might be dead now.
00:08:37.000 What is this?
00:08:38.000 Yeah, look how horrific he looks.
00:08:41.000 Yeah.
00:08:42.000 He just looks so creepy.
00:08:44.000 Is that him there smiling too?
00:08:46.000 Wow, he looks like a totally different person when he smiles.
00:08:49.000 That's so odd.
00:08:51.000 Oof.
00:08:51.000 He's a creepy dude.
00:08:53.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:08:54.000 Well, so he put a gun in some girl's mouth. 1.00
00:08:58.000 You know, he was into that kind of shit. 1.00
00:09:00.000 Like, bitch, I'll fucking kill you. 1.00
00:09:02.000 And he actually did kill her. 1.00
00:09:03.000 Wow.
00:09:04.000 And she was like a... 1.00
00:09:05.000 Just a young lady. 0.97
00:09:07.000 I think that's her up there. 0.99
00:09:08.000 Lana Clarkson.
00:09:09.000 That's her, right?
00:09:10.000 She was really pretty. 1.00
00:09:11.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:09:12.000 She had done some acting and stuff. 1.00
00:09:15.000 And she met him.
00:09:16.000 What's amazing to me... 1.00
00:09:18.000 Was not just that he shot her and this crazy fuck, but that an ugly dude like that can bang a chick that looks that hot. 1.00
00:09:26.000 Like, how did he get her? 1.00
00:09:28.000 Maybe she wouldn't have sex with him. 1.00
00:09:30.000 Maybe that's why he shot her in the mouth. 0.99
00:09:32.000 Well, he's also a millionaire, I think, at that point.
00:09:35.000 Yeah, no, that definitely has got to help.
00:09:38.000 But isn't it amazing that it helps that much?
00:09:41.000 I mean, look how scary he is.
00:09:44.000 Is that Al Pacino?
00:09:45.000 Did Al Pacino play him in a movie?
00:09:47.000 Yeah.
00:09:48.000 An HBO movie, I think.
00:09:50.000 Really?
00:09:51.000 Yeah.
00:09:51.000 What was it called?
00:09:52.000 A couple years ago. 0.99
00:09:54.000 No shit. 0.99
00:09:56.000 I didn't know about that. 0.99
00:09:57.000 I didn't know that either.
00:09:58.000 There's too many movies.
00:09:59.000 Oh, it's just called Phil Spector.
00:10:00.000 Do you know I had a revelation the other day when it came to movies?
00:10:04.000 I went to see The Martian.
00:10:05.000 It was pretty good.
00:10:07.000 Interesting, but the problem with that movie is you know he's gonna live.
00:10:13.000 You know he's gonna make it.
00:10:14.000 So it's like someone gave you a spoiler alert before you even got to the movie.
00:10:18.000 It's like, oh, is he gonna die on Mars?
00:10:20.000 Am I paying money to watch two hours of him and he's gonna die on Mars? 1.00
00:10:24.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00
00:10:25.000 Everybody knows he's not gonna die on Mars. 0.95
00:10:27.000 But the revelation was There's there's too many movies and like even really awesome movies like Sicario is supposed to be pretty badass.
00:10:37.000 Which one's that?
00:10:38.000 That's the new Benicio del Toro movie.
00:10:41.000 It's supposed to be pretty badass, but we couldn't get a ticket to that one in time.
00:10:45.000 It was sold out, so we went with The Martian.
00:10:48.000 But the point is these movies never stop.
00:10:52.000 Every week there's new ones and they don't go away.
00:10:56.000 Like, the old ones don't stop being around.
00:10:58.000 Like, you can go watch them, too.
00:10:59.000 It's like, there's too many of them.
00:11:01.000 Like, I was thinking about all the different movies just on iTunes and Netflix, and I was scrolling through them, and I started thinking, like, this is a never-ending equation.
00:11:11.000 Like, it just keeps getting tacked onto it.
00:11:13.000 We live in the epicenter of where it's created.
00:11:16.000 It's all around here.
00:11:17.000 And it's very strange, because the body of work just never stops. 0.98
00:11:22.000 Like, it used to be, when I was a kid, When a good movie came out, you would go to see that fucking movie, like Star Wars. 0.85
00:11:29.000 I saw Star Wars 13 times, and I was nothing compared to the real geeks. 0.95
00:11:36.000 It was a big deal back then to see how many times you could see a movie.
00:11:41.000 You couldn't run a movie long enough for someone to see it 13 times now.
00:11:46.000 Because there's new ones!
00:11:48.000 There's new ones coming! 1.00
00:11:50.000 We gotta get this fucking piece of shit out of the theater! 1.00
00:11:52.000 You would never have a movie like Star Wars that played over and over and over and over and over again. 1.00
00:11:57.000 And if Star Wars came out today, people would shit right in its mouth. 0.99
00:12:03.000 It's weird. 0.99
00:12:04.000 That is, to me, in my childhood, one of the greatest movies of all time.
00:12:08.000 When I was a kid and that movie came out, I remember when Obi-Wan Kenobi was talking to Luke Skywalker and they were in the sand.
00:12:16.000 I was like, This is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life!
00:12:20.000 This is amazing!
00:12:21.000 This guy's in space, and he's gonna...
00:12:24.000 Obi-Wan Kenobi's gonna teach him how to be a Jedi!
00:12:27.000 Oh, this is the greatest movie ever!
00:12:29.000 I remember it couldn't have been more perfect. 0.97
00:12:31.000 I remember seeing that movie and thinking, this movie is fucking perfect. 0.99
00:12:35.000 Now you go watch it, and you're like, oh my god, it's such a clunky turd. 0.99
00:12:39.000 It's clunky. 1.00
00:12:40.000 The special effects look like shit. 1.00
00:12:42.000 Why is Darth Vader evil? 1.00
00:12:43.000 There's not even a reason why he's evil.
00:12:45.000 He's just evil.
00:12:46.000 What does he get when he takes over the world? 1.00
00:12:48.000 Does he even get pussy? 1.00
00:12:49.000 Is he even gonna get any pussy in space? 1.00
00:12:51.000 No, he's just building some giant star that can blow up planets. 0.99
00:12:55.000 Really? 1.00
00:12:56.000 This is so dumb. 1.00
00:12:57.000 Like, it's so dumb. 1.00
00:12:58.000 Oh, he uses the dark side. 1.00
00:13:00.000 Oh, not the dark side. 1.00
00:13:02.000 It's so fucking dumb. 1.00
00:13:03.000 And it's puppets. 1.00
00:13:05.000 It's like Kermit the Frog and Luke Skywalker.
00:13:07.000 But in its day, like if you judge it in the context of its day, it's one of the all-time classic films.
00:13:13.000 It's just there's so many more now and they're better.
00:13:16.000 There's some films from back then that still, like Apocalypse Now is rock solid. 0.96
00:13:22.000 You try to go watch Apocalypse Now, it is rock fucking solid.
00:13:26.000 Francis Ford Coppola just made a masterpiece. 0.90
00:13:29.000 That's who did that, right?
00:13:30.000 It was him, right?
00:13:31.000 Yeah.
00:13:32.000 It's a masterpiece.
00:13:34.000 It's a masterpiece.
00:13:35.000 It's like a flawless film.
00:13:37.000 And it's a film that took, I think it took like seven years to make.
00:13:40.000 It went way, way over budget.
00:13:42.000 They started with Lawrence Fishburne when he was like 17 he was in that movie. 0.99
00:13:47.000 I mean, that was a crazy fucking movie. 0.93
00:13:49.000 But it's a movie that holds up, man. 0.99
00:13:53.000 It still holds up.
00:13:55.000 Ghostbusters doesn't hold up.
00:13:56.000 E.T. doesn't hold up.
00:13:58.000 There's a lot that I've been watching and going, ugh.
00:14:00.000 We were kids though, right?
00:14:02.000 Yeah, we were younger, but it just looked real.
00:14:05.000 Back then, that was realistic to us.
00:14:08.000 Those monsters made out of clay.
00:14:09.000 We're like, oh my god, it's a monster made out of clay.
00:14:12.000 I remember I used to, like, Land of the Lost.
00:14:14.000 Ooh, the slea stacks! 0.96
00:14:15.000 They're fucking so cool looking! 0.99
00:14:18.000 Ooh, excited! 0.99
00:14:19.000 I saw there's a Godzilla King Kong movie coming out.
00:14:22.000 Oh, Christ. 1.00
00:14:23.000 Here's why that's stupid, okay? 1.00
00:14:25.000 Godzilla is 500 feet tall. 0.99
00:14:27.000 King Kong's 50 feet tall.
00:14:29.000 Stop. 1.00
00:14:30.000 Those Japanese people fucked you. 1.00
00:14:32.000 They fucked you with those movies because they violated all the laws. 1.00
00:14:36.000 They didn't give you some reason why King Kong grew to 500. He grew 450 extra feet and they didn't say a word about it. 0.99
00:14:44.000 Come on, man.
00:14:45.000 How's he so big? 0.99
00:14:47.000 He used to be able to climb shit and he would carry the chick in his hand and now all of a sudden he's as big as Godzilla. 0.99
00:14:53.000 What if it was baby Godzilla versus King Kong? 0.99
00:14:55.000 Like, it was just baby Godzilla.
00:14:57.000 He was small.
00:14:58.000 That would make a little bit more sense.
00:15:00.000 Right. 0.98
00:15:00.000 But he would just stand back and light him on fire. 0.98
00:15:02.000 It's fucking stupid. 1.00
00:15:03.000 The fight would take 30 seconds. 1.00
00:15:05.000 I mean, he got killed by little tiny airplanes.
00:15:07.000 He got killed by airplanes.
00:15:09.000 And if you know anything about, like, firepower and guns, the idea that you could kill a gorilla with these little piss-amp bullets... 1.00
00:15:18.000 From a tiny little stupid cardboard plane. 1.00
00:15:23.000 You're killing a gorilla that's so fucking big that it can carry people and climb to the top of the Empire State Building. 1.00
00:15:30.000 It can grab planes out of the air and smash them. 0.99
00:15:34.000 Remember it was doing that?
00:15:36.000 But yet those little baby bullets are killing them.
00:15:39.000 Those little baby bullets would just make them furious. 1.00
00:15:42.000 Unless they were like the hollow points or something like that where they blew up inside of them.
00:15:46.000 Doesn't matter.
00:15:47.000 Unless they were cannons, they would have to be like...
00:15:49.000 They would have to be such a high caliber that it would be like BOOM! BOOM! There would be mad fucking recoil.
00:15:57.000 It would be... 0.99
00:15:58.000 Especially back then.
00:16:00.000 They have guns now that have...
00:16:02.000 They're like Donald Cerrone had one that he put a video of it on his Instagram.
00:16:06.000 It's I think they call it integrally suppressed.
00:16:09.000 So when you fire the gun, it's a 300 Win Mag, which is a big round.
00:16:14.000 It's a very powerful rifle.
00:16:16.000 When you fire it, it's like tunk, tunk, like nothing.
00:16:19.000 You don't feel anything and you don't hear anything.
00:16:21.000 It's like a very small amount of sound and a very small amount of kick. 0.96
00:16:24.000 Like he has a girl on his Instagram picture, just a regular sized girl shooting it and it's not fucking her up at all. 0.98
00:16:30.000 But it should be at least a struggle. 1.00
00:16:34.000 But back then, they didn't have any of that shit. 0.99
00:16:37.000 Back then, it was just an explosion in a metal tube, shooting out a piece of lead. 1.00
00:16:41.000 The idea that you're going to kill this big gorilla with your piss-ass guns, he's just going to fuck you up, man. 1.00
00:16:46.000 And he's going to bang that white chick. 1.00
00:16:48.000 That's what he's there for. 0.99
00:16:49.000 Unless it got smart and it was just all hacking and nuclear war, like Godzilla's using computers now and King Kong.
00:16:57.000 Never mind.
00:16:59.000 Where were you going with that?
00:17:01.000 You committed to it, too.
00:17:03.000 They made it a drama.
00:17:05.000 A drama.
00:17:07.000 Well, the last Godzilla looked like it was going to be badass.
00:17:11.000 I never watched it.
00:17:12.000 It wasn't good.
00:17:14.000 It was kind of fun. 0.97
00:17:15.000 Like, the Godzilla monster itself was fucking badass. 0.93
00:17:20.000 Like, they did an amazing job with CGI. But the story was so clunky. 0.97
00:17:26.000 And this fucking kid, who's the hero, keeps surviving. 1.00
00:17:30.000 I mean, he survived the most ridiculous shit, like a plane fell off, or a train fell off of a giant bridge into the water, and he gets out of there, over and over and over again. 1.00
00:17:39.000 Wasn't that what happened? 1.00
00:17:40.000 Some stupid shit like that. 1.00
00:17:42.000 Over and over and over again, this fuck survives. 1.00
00:17:44.000 The most ridiculous, preposterous, disastrous scenarios to watch Godzilla kill this bad guy. 1.00
00:17:50.000 Spoiler alert! 0.99
00:17:52.000 Godzilla survives!
00:17:53.000 Spoiler! 0.88
00:17:55.000 But it's just...
00:17:56.000 The special effects were pretty wicked.
00:17:58.000 But the story itself was just clunky.
00:18:02.000 Did you see a movie called The Guest?
00:18:04.000 I don't think so.
00:18:05.000 Who's in it?
00:18:07.000 I forget his name.
00:18:08.000 No one really...
00:18:10.000 Hold on, I'll tell you right now.
00:18:11.000 It is...
00:18:12.000 No.
00:18:15.000 Dan Stevens.
00:18:17.000 I don't know who that is.
00:18:18.000 Anyways, it got really good on Rotten Tomatoes.
00:18:21.000 It got like 92%.
00:18:22.000 It got really good reviews.
00:18:24.000 Doug Benson told me to watch it.
00:18:25.000 It's on Netflix right now.
00:18:27.000 It starts off like a kid's summer teen movie.
00:18:31.000 Are you spoiler alerting this movie?
00:18:32.000 No, I'm not.
00:18:33.000 It starts off like a kid's summer teen movie.
00:18:38.000 And this guy who just got out of the army comes and visits this family.
00:18:43.000 It is one of the biggest roadhouse-type version movies. 0.98
00:18:48.000 It starts off horrible, but then you wake up out of this coma, and you're like, wait, what the fuck am I watching? 0.90
00:18:53.000 And then it starts, like, I swear to God, I laughed so hard in this movie, like a roadhouse. 0.97
00:18:59.000 Accidentally?
00:18:59.000 Accidentally.
00:19:00.000 But then I go to Doug, and I'm like, dude, thank you so much.
00:19:03.000 That was, like, a hilarious movie.
00:19:05.000 And he goes, oh, well, like, he liked it for real Zs. 0.99
00:19:09.000 You know?
00:19:10.000 Doug Benson quite possibly might be the worst poster boy for weed alive.
00:19:17.000 I just did this getting Doug with hi, and he would ask a question, and then I'd be starting to answer, and he goes, what are you talking about?
00:19:25.000 Completely forgot what...
00:19:28.000 Well, in his defense, listen to what you just said 30 seconds ago about Godzilla hacking with computers and using nuclear war.
00:19:34.000 Well, no, I was just saying if Godzilla was like a drama.
00:19:37.000 It is a drama.
00:19:38.000 It's a horror movie.
00:19:38.000 No, I mean like King Kong was hacking Godzilla and made it like a...
00:19:41.000 Picture view.
00:19:46.000 But this...
00:19:48.000 This idea that Doug Benson smokes too much pot, we should explore this.
00:19:52.000 Because I know he enjoys the marijuana, and I know he's been an activist and letting people know, but this type of behavior is perhaps negative to the cause.
00:20:04.000 He makes me laugh.
00:20:05.000 He gets so high!
00:20:06.000 It's so funny, though.
00:20:07.000 He gets so high all the time.
00:20:08.000 And he gets visually high, which makes it so much more funnier.
00:20:11.000 Oh, he closes up like razor slits.
00:20:14.000 He closes up like there's no eyes in there.
00:20:16.000 Like, where's your eyes, man?
00:20:17.000 You don't have any eyes.
00:20:18.000 Dom Herrera if he was a pirate or something.
00:20:20.000 Imagine if Dom Herrera smoked pot, we'd have to get him a cane.
00:20:24.000 We'd have to get him one of those blind canes.
00:20:26.000 We'd have to get him a dog.
00:20:29.000 That Ebola thing about the eyes, though, that really freaked me out.
00:20:33.000 It should.
00:20:34.000 It should.
00:20:34.000 Ebola has been living in people's eyes.
00:20:37.000 The guys that had Ebola has been staying in his eyes, changing their eye colors from green to blue and having blurry vision.
00:20:44.000 And then when he gets it checked, his eyes are not as strong anymore.
00:20:47.000 They're more of like a mushier version of his eyes.
00:20:51.000 Yeah, they said that it actually was affecting the structure of his eye.
00:20:57.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:20:57.000 Fuck, man. 1.00
00:20:58.000 And what's weird is when I went to my eye doctor, they said my eye structure was fucked and that I had scarring in the back for some reason. 1.00
00:21:05.000 You don't have Ebola, dude. 0.98
00:21:06.000 You'd be so much skinnier.
00:21:08.000 You think?
00:21:09.000 Yeah, they lose a shitload of weight.
00:21:10.000 Well, what if I just have, like... 1.00
00:21:12.000 They shit their brains out. 1.00
00:21:13.000 A lazy version of it or a sleeping... 1.00
00:21:14.000 Maybe you're like a survivor.
00:21:16.000 You're one of those carriers.
00:21:17.000 Like, there's some girls that can give you herpes, but they don't show any signs of herpes. 1.00
00:21:21.000 Right.
00:21:23.000 Yeah, this guy right here...
00:21:24.000 Some girls. 1.00
00:21:25.000 Notice I blame it all on the girls. 1.00
00:21:27.000 Well, one of the symptoms is blurry vision.
00:21:30.000 She started tripping out of what I've been trying to deal with myself.
00:21:33.000 Well, I don't think you...
00:21:35.000 You have to consider a couple things when you're talking about your eyes.
00:21:39.000 You definitely don't have to think about Ebola.
00:21:41.000 But you do have to think about taking care of your health.
00:21:45.000 You don't take care of your health.
00:21:46.000 And I've told you before, it freaks me out.
00:21:48.000 Well, I've cut out things like boner pills recently.
00:21:51.000 Well, you definitely should cut out those.
00:21:53.000 Look, they have Viagra and Cialis and stuff like that, and it's scientifically proven.
00:21:58.000 You can adjust your dosage.
00:22:00.000 You don't know what you're taking when you take those things.
00:22:02.000 And a lot of times you are taking Cialis.
00:22:04.000 You are taking Viagra.
00:22:06.000 What's weird is Lamar Oden, who just recently went to the hospital for...
00:22:11.000 They found him at the Bunny Ranch.
00:22:12.000 He had supposedly cocaine around and these boner pills, these gas station boner pills.
00:22:19.000 What's so weird about the whole thing, about two days before that happened, I found out the FDA.gov on their front page, if you go to it right now, has a whole thing about these boner pills.
00:22:28.000 And they also have links to every single boner pill that you can buy.
00:22:33.000 I keep my wrappers like...
00:22:36.000 Because they come in these, like, cardboards.
00:22:37.000 You saved them, like, baseball cards.
00:22:39.000 I saved baseball cards.
00:22:39.000 They're cool!
00:22:40.000 Because they all have really good artwork.
00:22:42.000 Oh, such good artwork.
00:22:44.000 It's just like David Cho's work.
00:22:46.000 It's like a Mona Lisa on those things, man.
00:22:48.000 So I looked at my favorite one.
00:22:50.000 My favorite one has Viagra in it, the Mexican version of Viagra in it.
00:22:54.000 But a lot of them also have steroids in them.
00:22:57.000 And if you can go through this, this is the hidden agreement.
00:23:00.000 A lot of them are steroids, generic names for Viagra.
00:23:04.000 Well, you know, that was Anderson Silva's excuse when he tested positive for steroids.
00:23:08.000 That makes 100%.
00:23:09.000 He took a Chinese Viagra, but what they think is, this is actually one way it could be of what he said could be true, that he might have gotten some sort of, he might have called it Viagra, but it might have been like some super strong boner pill that also has steroids in it.
00:23:26.000 But what they were thinking is that with a company that makes this Viagra or Cialis or whatever it was also makes steroids and they just didn't clean their batch and some of it got contaminated, which does happen.
00:23:38.000 We've actually run tests on different supplements that we have, like AlphaBrain, and during the early days when we first started doing it, We would notice that there would be a certain inconsistency in the amount of something.
00:23:56.000 It was just like...
00:23:59.000 Minor, but enough to be like, hmm.
00:24:02.000 And then occasionally we would find something in a supplement.
00:24:06.000 Like, we never found it in Alpha Brain or True Mood or something like that, but I know they found it in like, well, you get like a B12 supplement and it has vitamin A in it for some reason.
00:24:15.000 And everybody's like, well, how'd that get in there?
00:24:17.000 Because you're getting your stuff from like bulk.
00:24:20.000 You're getting it from, a lot of people are getting with, if they're getting like tribulus, I know you used to buy that stuff, right?
00:24:25.000 Or if you're getting vitamins, you're getting them from these bulk suppliers.
00:24:29.000 Like my friend Larry used to run that vitamin company.
00:24:31.000 And when you get stuff from bulk suppliers, like a lot of times they're mixing their stuff in these vats and they just don't clean them.
00:24:39.000 They do a shitty job of cleaning them. 0.97
00:24:41.000 Most of the time, you're okay, but if someone fucks up and doesn't do their job or you deal with some low-level company that doesn't take care of their shit, you definitely, definitely, definitely can get steroids and things along those lines inside, 0.99
00:24:56.000 like protein powders and inside muscle supplements. 0.98
00:24:59.000 They shouldn't be there.
00:25:00.000 But then there's also, some of them, they just put steroids in there.
00:25:04.000 You know why?
00:25:05.000 Because steroids work. 1.00
00:25:07.000 And you can get cheap Chinese steroids, and you just throw them in your boner pills, and you're like, I wanna fuck like a gorilla. 1.00
00:25:13.000 That's because you're juiced up, man. 1.00
00:25:15.000 You're actually on steroids. 0.99
00:25:16.000 And it will fuck with your mood. 0.98
00:25:18.000 We had that Jeff Nowitzki guy. 0.80
00:25:20.000 He's the guy who works for the US Anti-Doping Agency, and he's the guy who busted Lance Armstrong, and now he works for the UFC. And he's, you know, doing all these crazy random drug tests.
00:25:30.000 He told us about all the different substances that the Olympic Committee and the FDA finds out test positive for steroids.
00:25:39.000 And we're like, well, how many are there? 0.99
00:25:40.000 So we go to the fucking website. 0.98
00:25:42.000 There's a website where it lists each one of them. 0.99
00:25:44.000 We didn't even get through the A's.
00:25:46.000 We were in the A's and there was hundreds of them that are just steroids. 0.99
00:25:50.000 So when you're going to the, you know, Local vitamin shop and you're seeing, you know, muscle build, 5,000, some fucking guys shredded on it. 0.98
00:26:01.000 A lot of those are steroids. 0.99
00:26:02.000 Yeah.
00:26:03.000 A lot, especially more so back in the day than today because they're a little bit better at busting people and there's a little bit less people that are willing to take the chance of getting arrested or of getting sued or whatever. 0.99
00:26:15.000 But there's a lot of that shit that's just... 0.97
00:26:17.000 There's so much monkey business involved in those kind of muscle building things. 0.98
00:26:23.000 Well, it's really dangerous because all the ones I had were on the FDA.gov.
00:26:28.000 And so then I started taking each one of the boner pills and showing, like, looking at every single ingredient that was in it.
00:26:34.000 A lot of them were roots and, like, mixing certain things with other things has never been tested.
00:26:41.000 And, like, if you have low blood pressure, you could die off these boner pills just from taking...
00:26:46.000 Well, also, if you're on a heart medication, like old dudes that have... 1.00
00:26:52.000 Heart attacks, they have to take nitrates, like nitroglycerin and stuff like that.
00:26:56.000 If you take that, like you ever seen in those movies, the guy would almost be about to take a heart attack, and he'd pop those little pills and chew them up.
00:27:02.000 He's got to get to my heart pills.
00:27:03.000 Remember that?
00:27:04.000 Oh, yeah.
00:27:04.000 Yeah.
00:27:05.000 It was always in those movies.
00:27:06.000 Remember?
00:27:06.000 That was real?
00:27:07.000 Yeah.
00:27:07.000 Yeah, that's real.
00:27:08.000 There are certain, I think it's nitroglycerin. 0.57
00:27:12.000 But certain things that you take, that if you are on those and then you take Viagra, it can be super fucking dangerous for you.
00:27:21.000 So these people that are just taking them, thinking that what's on that label is what's actually in it, a lot of times that's not the case. 0.99
00:27:27.000 A lot of times there's a bunch of extra shit in there.
00:27:29.000 The one that I recently have been taking ended up having Viagra in it, but they had a new formula version, which the FDA hasn't tried yet. 0.97
00:27:38.000 But the new formula version works really good, like way better than the old stuff.
00:27:42.000 But I think that has whatever's in it's making me trip.
00:27:45.000 Yeah, it's probably super bad for you.
00:27:47.000 It's probably some crazy stimulants.
00:27:50.000 Who knows, man?
00:27:51.000 You've got to buy stuff from reputable sources.
00:27:55.000 That's one thing that I disagree with people when they want to have total deregulation of drugs and things. 0.97
00:28:02.000 Man, you've got to be careful of people that are just going to sell you some shit and tell you it's one thing, but it's actually something else. 0.69
00:28:11.000 Like, there should be some form of regulation when it comes to things like, you know, anything that's got something in it that could be dangerous, where it's like a stimulant or those rip fuel type things that turned out to kill a bunch of people. 0.92
00:28:27.000 Like, you should...
00:28:28.000 There should be some accountability, and there also should be someone checking on that stuff.
00:28:34.000 Like, you kind of need someone checking to make sure that you're not going to...
00:28:40.000 Like, inadvertently give someone who thinks they're just going to get some herbal, you know, testosterone booster, you're actually going to give them steroids and Viagra, you know?
00:28:49.000 It should be GNC, wouldn't you say?
00:28:50.000 I mean, I bought rip fuel when I was in high school. 1.00
00:28:52.000 We used to all get on that shit in high school. 0.99
00:28:55.000 People have died from that stuff. 1.00
00:28:57.000 Definitely. 1.00
00:28:58.000 That's why ephedra, like, you can't get that shit anymore. 0.99
00:29:00.000 People used to just buy ephedra. 0.99
00:29:02.000 You used to be able to buy that.
00:29:03.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00
00:29:04.000 That's fucking stimulant. 1.00
00:29:05.000 And a hardcore one, too. 1.00
00:29:07.000 And it just jacks your heart rate up, man.
00:29:11.000 My good buddy used to drink that Redline stuff every day before the gym, like five times a week, and he's drinking Red Bull four times a day anyway.
00:29:18.000 Well, he's lucky.
00:29:20.000 He's lucky he's alive.
00:29:23.000 I took rip fuel once before jiu-jitsu, and I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack.
00:29:28.000 It didn't make any sense why my heart was beating so fast. 0.98
00:29:30.000 I was like, I know I was working out, and I know I was exerting myself, but I was like, but this is just some next-level shit. 0.99
00:29:37.000 I have to stop. 0.99
00:29:38.000 I can't do it.
00:29:39.000 I literally couldn't work out after a certain point.
00:29:41.000 I was like, my heart's beating too fast.
00:29:42.000 It was weird.
00:29:44.000 It's like, your heart's beating too fast, but you're not that tired.
00:29:46.000 It's like, your body's just weirding out on you. 0.99
00:29:50.000 It's just like, what's all this extra shit? 1.00
00:29:54.000 Beep, beep! 1.00
00:29:55.000 And you used to be able to get it everywhere.
00:29:57.000 Yeah.
00:29:58.000 And it's a lot of that stuff, man.
00:29:59.000 A lot of that stuff.
00:30:00.000 And how do they even...
00:30:01.000 That's what I said from my experience of being involved with Onnit and the creation of AlphaBrain.
00:30:07.000 And when you find out your suppliers aren't doing the right thing, you find out that you've got to make sure that people are...
00:30:14.000 You have to test things and double test things every step of the way.
00:30:18.000 And when you're running a company like GNC, Jesus Christ, how many products do they have on their shelves?
00:30:24.000 They have aisles and aisles and hundreds of fucking things from hundreds of different companies and all of them are promoting weight loss and mental clarity and fitness enhancement and muscle gains and strength gains and size. 0.76
00:30:41.000 You're going to put on weight and like, boy, are you sure? 0.97
00:30:45.000 Is all this stuff legit?
00:30:46.000 They don't know. 0.99
00:30:47.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00
00:30:49.000 They just go, what do you got? 1.00
00:30:50.000 What do you got? 1.00
00:30:50.000 You got dick pills? 1.00
00:30:51.000 Bring them in here, bitch! 1.00
00:30:53.000 And if you went to a store and you got some testosterone booster, you know, it says, you know, boost testosterone, make you feel a lot, but it's really Viagra. 1.00
00:31:04.000 Also, your dick is hard all the time. 0.99
00:31:07.000 You'd be like, dude, I'm so full of testosterone. 1.00
00:31:09.000 My dick is hard all the time. 0.99
00:31:11.000 And it would psychologically make you feel like, yeah, I'm on this testosterone booster. 1.00
00:31:17.000 It's amazing.
00:31:17.000 You would just go start buying it.
00:31:19.000 Like for guys, you give a guy something that makes his dick hard and they're gonna think that they found the fucking thing. 1.00
00:31:26.000 They found the fountain of youth. 1.00
00:31:27.000 They found it.
00:31:29.000 They found the holy grail.
00:31:31.000 It just makes it thicker and longer.
00:31:33.000 It's not even hard, right?
00:31:35.000 What? 0.99
00:31:36.000 These kinds are like a swelling of the dick, Mark. 0.99
00:31:39.000 What kinds? 0.99
00:31:40.000 Like these generic kinds with all these extra roots and stuff in it.
00:31:43.000 I don't know what you're taking.
00:31:43.000 I don't know what you're taking.
00:31:44.000 Will you take one if I give you... 1.00
00:31:46.000 Fuck no. 1.00
00:31:47.000 I would have to have a scientist go over that shit with a fine-tooth comb. 1.00
00:31:51.000 Who knows what's in those things, man? 1.00
00:31:53.000 You don't even know who's making them.
00:31:55.000 I know. 1.00
00:31:55.000 This fucking spray paint artwork. 1.00
00:31:57.000 You're like, look at the artwork. 1.00
00:31:58.000 I'm definitely putting this in my body.
00:32:00.000 Hope it doesn't do any permanent damage. 0.97
00:32:02.000 Gee, why is my eyesight going all fucking wonky? 0.65
00:32:05.000 You're seeing things wiggle in front of your eyes. 0.97
00:32:08.000 Also, you know, that's a symptom of diabetes.
00:32:11.000 Yeah.
00:32:12.000 I don't have diabetes.
00:32:14.000 Did you go to the doctor?
00:32:15.000 Well, I mean, my last checkup, I was fine.
00:32:17.000 How many years ago was that?
00:32:19.000 A year and a half.
00:32:20.000 Did you have those symptoms a year and a half ago?
00:32:23.000 No. 1.00
00:32:24.000 But I also wasn't taking boner pills that have crazy shit in them. 1.00
00:32:28.000 Well, that's true. 0.99
00:32:29.000 I mean, you know, I would eliminate possibilities.
00:32:33.000 Wow, yeah.
00:32:33.000 That's what I'm doing right now.
00:32:34.000 I'm not doing that anymore.
00:32:36.000 You've got to stop drinking every night.
00:32:37.000 You've got to stop smoking.
00:32:38.000 Stop doing that also.
00:32:38.000 I've been drinking like every other night maybe.
00:32:43.000 That's better.
00:32:44.000 That's better than every night.
00:32:45.000 Secret to not drinking.
00:32:46.000 But what about the smoking?
00:32:47.000 Don't go to the comedy store.
00:32:48.000 How much do you smoke?
00:32:50.000 Same.
00:32:51.000 Like pack a day.
00:32:52.000 You did so well.
00:32:55.000 And then you just fold it up again.
00:32:58.000 Oh, that's another thing.
00:33:00.000 The reason why I originally went to the FDA, I just remembered, is because my favorite cigarette, which is a new cigarette, got recalled from the FDA because they said that they were not tested. 0.94
00:33:10.000 Just fucking imagine how bad your cigarettes have to be for the FDA to go, you know what? 1.00
00:33:15.000 These cigarettes are fucked up. 1.00
00:33:17.000 Those other ones that are killing people at a rate of 500,000 premature deaths per year in this country alone. 1.00
00:33:27.000 They're like, this one's too fucked up. 0.96
00:33:29.000 Camel Whites and Camel Crush, they were not allowed to be sold because they never have been tested, and they were using all different new filters. 0.99
00:33:36.000 They had things that broke and made mint inside the cigarette.
00:33:39.000 Maybe it's just people that don't like white people.
00:33:41.000 That's one thing. 0.99
00:33:42.000 If you're going to have Camels, those are white people's cigarettes. 1.00
00:33:45.000 Really? 0.98
00:33:45.000 Yeah, it's white people's cigarettes. 0.98
00:33:47.000 Cools or black people's cigarettes. 0.99
00:33:49.000 Barbara Lights is a white woman. 0.99
00:33:53.000 Cools are either secretaries who are super stressed out, who are single moms. 1.00
00:33:58.000 They'll smoke Cools occasionally, and they're tanned.
00:34:01.000 They go to tanning booths.
00:34:02.000 Or black eyes.
00:34:07.000 I'm a cigarette expert, yo.
00:34:10.000 Newports.
00:34:10.000 Who smokes Newports?
00:34:12.000 I don't know.
00:34:13.000 Black people and people who like black people.
00:34:14.000 Right.
00:34:15.000 People hang out with black people. 0.98
00:34:16.000 They smoke Newports. 1.00
00:34:17.000 The worst is when you meet a white person that smokes menthols. 0.81
00:34:21.000 You're like, what happened to you, man? 0.97
00:34:23.000 Camel unfiltered. 0.99
00:34:24.000 It's all white guys who are trappers. 1.00
00:34:26.000 They're all like fishermen and trappers and shit, and they fucking, they have hides, tanning hides on the side of their house. 1.00
00:34:33.000 You know, they tack down a hide and stretch down those Alaska shows. 1.00
00:34:36.000 Those are the guys who smoke Camel Unfiltereds.
00:34:39.000 The only reason I smoke is because James Dean used to smoke lucky cigarettes, and I was like, I'm gonna be like James Dean.
00:34:45.000 Good move.
00:34:46.000 Lucky unfiltered.
00:34:46.000 You know what else James Dean smoked?
00:34:48.000 Polls.
00:34:50.000 He smoked polls, too.
00:34:53.000 So he probably just liked things in his mouth.
00:34:55.000 I mean, nothing wrong with that, but maybe he shouldn't do what he does.
00:34:58.000 What do you think about Playboy, man?
00:34:59.000 Like, taking all the nudity out of this.
00:35:01.000 You're very upset.
00:35:02.000 Bailey J. had the funniest tweet about it.
00:35:04.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:35:05.000 Yeah, she goes, there's girls online that have fists up their assholes. 1.00
00:35:09.000 You weren't reading Playboy. 1.00
00:35:10.000 Stop it.
00:35:12.000 Yeah.
00:35:13.000 It's true.
00:35:14.000 It's totally true. 0.99
00:35:16.000 It's just fucking true. 0.99
00:35:17.000 Larry Flint was on CNN the other day, and he said it perfect. 0.99
00:35:21.000 Like, you're taking your bread and butter away.
00:35:25.000 He's like, Hugh Hefner's just a horrible businessman.
00:35:29.000 The magazine's fine.
00:35:31.000 Don't touch it.
00:35:32.000 Well, he's old.
00:35:34.000 I don't think he's necessarily running things anymore.
00:35:36.000 And I think the fact that we're talking about it means it was a good idea.
00:35:41.000 Because we're talking about it.
00:35:42.000 No one talked about Playboy. 0.99
00:35:44.000 Like, Playboy, nobody gave a fuck. 0.93
00:35:45.000 They literally have to do something like this in order to get people to talk about it.
00:35:49.000 It might be a good idea.
00:35:51.000 Honestly, I mean, I'm the shittiest businessman of all time because I literally don't think about business ever at all.
00:35:57.000 I just do shit that I like to do and try to work as hard as I can and try to keep going. 0.98
00:36:03.000 Find things that I'm interested in and keep going. 0.98
00:36:05.000 I never sit down and go, what's the best business model?
00:36:08.000 What I need to do for my brand, I need to expand.
00:36:12.000 What I need to do is I need to create some sort of a publicity stunt.
00:36:15.000 But if I was going to engineer a publicity stunt, That's the best one. 0.99
00:36:19.000 You take either that or you show cumming. 0.99
00:36:21.000 You just show a lot of hair pulling and nutting in people's faces. 1.00
00:36:25.000 You show, like, hardcore choking and mascara and snot coming out of a girl's nose and balls hitting chins. 1.00
00:36:32.000 You're either going to go one way or the other. 0.99
00:36:34.000 Either you're going to go the route of the internet and the internet's going to out-internet you every fucking time. 0.98
00:36:38.000 Or... 0.95
00:36:39.000 You're going to decide, you know what, we're a gentleman's magazine now. 0.92
00:36:42.000 You can get plenty of porn.
00:36:43.000 You don't need us for that.
00:36:44.000 You're not buying this in an airport with plastic. 0.99
00:36:49.000 You're not going to go jerk off in your hotel room with this. 0.98
00:36:52.000 You're just not. 0.98
00:36:52.000 You have a laptop. 0.98
00:36:54.000 Stop it.
00:36:54.000 Right?
00:36:55.000 But...
00:36:56.000 They can offer good articles, right?
00:37:00.000 There's people that have written for Playboy that were really good writers.
00:37:05.000 There's some really good stories that have been written for Playboy, but it was always sort of obscured by the fact that really what you were doing was buying it for chicks.
00:37:14.000 That was the inside joke.
00:37:15.000 It's like, oh, I read it for the articles.
00:37:17.000 That was the inside joke.
00:37:19.000 Like, people would laugh about how nobody really read it for the articles.
00:37:22.000 But if you go and, like, you ever see, like, Frank Sinatra interview, those interviews in Playboy?
00:37:29.000 These two, have you ever seen those?
00:37:30.000 I actually have never read one single article in a Playboy.
00:37:33.000 Actually, the interviews are classic.
00:37:36.000 I did an interview with Playboy a long time ago, and that's when I got into it with Dennis Leary.
00:37:40.000 Oh, yeah.
00:37:41.000 That was from one of those Playboy interviews.
00:37:47.000 Playboy's always had really good interviews.
00:37:50.000 Like I said, I used to have this coffee table book of all the great interviews over the years in Playboy.
00:37:56.000 But the whole feel of Playboy to me was always style.
00:38:00.000 Like, it was artistic.
00:38:02.000 You know, Hugh Hefner was an artist that, you know, made women look beautiful.
00:38:06.000 And like, you wanted to see whatever...
00:38:12.000 Sigourney Weaver naked.
00:38:14.000 Sigourney Weaver never got naked?
00:38:16.000 Did it?
00:38:17.000 You wanted to see her get naked. 1.00
00:38:18.000 Pamela Anderson. 0.99
00:38:19.000 Classy.
00:38:20.000 Sigourney Weaver.
00:38:21.000 Yeah, I know what you're saying.
00:38:22.000 Yeah, you wanted to see a classy... 0.83
00:38:25.000 That's where Kardashian should have had her butt shots instead of that other thing. 0.98
00:38:28.000 It was too late, though.
00:38:30.000 By the time she came along, it was a ghost town.
00:38:33.000 Right.
00:38:33.000 But Playboy, yeah, no one's talking about Playboy because no one's talking about magazines at all.
00:38:38.000 Anything about magazines.
00:38:39.000 Playboy's problem, I think, is like what Larry Flynn was saying. 1.00
00:38:42.000 Their business is all fucked up. 0.98
00:38:44.000 Playboy's, I believe, is subscription-based. 0.99
00:38:46.000 To listen to Playboy Radio, you have to pay $7 a month.
00:38:49.000 You do?
00:38:50.000 Yeah.
00:38:50.000 It's not like you can just turn on all Playboy Radio.
00:38:53.000 Wait a minute.
00:38:54.000 Is it on Sirius?
00:38:55.000 It used to be on Sirius, but I think Sirius was like, eh, we don't care about this anymore.
00:38:59.000 Are you sure?
00:39:00.000 Yeah.
00:39:00.000 It used to be $10 a month, though, or something like that.
00:39:02.000 But are you sure it's not on Sirius anymore?
00:39:03.000 I don't think it is anymore.
00:39:04.000 Why don't you Google that real quick?
00:39:06.000 Playboy Sirius Radio.
00:39:10.000 The model is definitely dying.
00:39:12.000 The magazine model.
00:39:16.000 Okay, here we go.
00:39:22.000 On March 9th, 2013, Kevin Kline and Andrea announced that Playboy Morning Show, that the Playboy will no longer be featured on SiriusXM.
00:39:33.000 You can only go to playboyradio.com.
00:39:36.000 And they want you to pay for it.
00:39:38.000 Playboyradio.com, yeah.
00:39:39.000 See, that's a big mistake.
00:39:41.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:39:41.000 That's a big mistake to get people to pay for it, because why would they do that when you can get the TED Radio Hour, you can get Getting Doug with High, you can get Kill Tony, you can get The Church of What's Happening Now, you can get fucking... 0.97
00:39:54.000 There's so many podcasts that are amazing and they're free.
00:39:58.000 For Playboy to come along and say, hey, we want $10 a month or $7 a month or whatever it is, it's $7 a month too much or $10 a month too much.
00:40:07.000 It's just you can't do it. 0.99
00:40:08.000 It's a shitty model.
00:40:11.000 You're operating on this idea that, like, subscription-based stuff still exists, and it really doesn't, unless it's something like Netflix. 0.99
00:40:21.000 Just think about how arrogant you would have to be to want seven dollars a month for your fucking podcast, your radio show, when you can get Netflix for nine bucks a month. 0.94
00:40:33.000 They raised it, right? 0.99
00:40:34.000 They made it nine now.
00:40:34.000 I think Netflix did.
00:40:36.000 Still a great deal.
00:40:37.000 Still amazing.
00:40:38.000 Amazing deal.
00:40:39.000 Just stop and think about that. 1.00
00:40:40.000 Think about how many fucking stand-up comedy specials. 0.99
00:40:42.000 I believe, oh, I can't even say that. 0.99
00:40:44.000 I'm not supposed to say that.
00:40:45.000 But, um, look, just think Bill Burr specials.
00:40:49.000 Tom Segura just shot his second special. 0.99
00:40:51.000 You know, fuck, I did one on Netflix in 2005. So it's like, you think about all, it's ten bucks now, is that what you're showing me? 0.98
00:40:59.000 No.
00:40:59.000 Playboy Radio?
00:41:00.000 Playboy Radio is $4.17 a month.
00:41:04.000 If you do a 12-month subscription, if you do it for one month, it's what?
00:41:08.000 Well, it's 17%.
00:41:09.000 About $5 a month.
00:41:10.000 Okay.
00:41:11.000 So $5 a month. 0.89
00:41:12.000 It's more reasonable, but still ridiculous.
00:41:14.000 No one's paying that. 0.91
00:41:16.000 Bad business model.
00:41:16.000 It's a terrible business model.
00:41:18.000 They're talking about doing that with Howard Stern.
00:41:21.000 They were talking about doing that with something like Spotify and making...
00:41:24.000 And the way they were talking was so gross.
00:41:27.000 And I said they.
00:41:28.000 I mean these business analysts who are quoting people who supposedly work for this show. 1.00
00:41:33.000 It could be all bullshit. 0.99
00:41:34.000 It could be all rumors. 1.00
00:41:36.000 But the way they were saying it was like they were banking on it.
00:41:39.000 You know, because...
00:41:40.000 At the end of the day, if there's anybody that can get people to pay for some sort of a podcast, it's him.
00:41:46.000 Howard Stern's got the most loyal listeners.
00:41:49.000 He's been around the longest time.
00:41:51.000 For them, he's a part of their daily commute and has been for decades.
00:41:57.000 But they were talking about doing it where it's like $7 a month for his show.
00:42:03.000 And they were like, we could get 10 million listeners.
00:42:06.000 So we'd be getting $70 million a month. 1.00
00:42:09.000 I'm like, bitch, are you out of your fucking mind? 1.00
00:42:11.000 You really think you're going to get 10 million people that are going to pay $7 a month for a podcast? 1.00
00:42:17.000 10 million?
00:42:19.000 Good luck. 1.00
00:42:20.000 Good fuck. 1.00
00:42:21.000 That's crazy talk. 1.00
00:42:22.000 But listen to someone say something like that.
00:42:24.000 I was like, ooh, look how they think.
00:42:26.000 They're just looking at it like, ooh, this is a business.
00:42:28.000 Not like, let's just keep doing the most kick-ass radio show in the history of the world.
00:42:33.000 Let's keep having these amazing guests.
00:42:35.000 Isn't it crazy?
00:42:37.000 Howard's been on the air for decades and he's got all this stuff banked up.
00:42:41.000 You can listen to Howard 100 and hear classic interviews from back.
00:42:44.000 It's amazing.
00:42:45.000 Let's keep this better and better.
00:42:47.000 Nope.
00:42:47.000 That's not how they think.
00:42:48.000 They think, How do we make money off of him?
00:42:51.000 How do we take this guy and how do we turn this into 10 million subscribers paying $70 a month?
00:42:58.000 And then they're all thinking, if I just get a piece of that, if I get a piece of that, they're looking at their house in the Hamptons and they're thinking about their Porsche they'll be driving.
00:43:07.000 All right, and then you got all these people around you that are like grabbing and pulling and tugging.
00:43:13.000 That's what it's like if you work for some big giant-ass corporation that feeds off of having a bunch of different shows on its network. 0.98
00:43:21.000 Like if you work for some corporation like a like a Sirius XM or Playboy or anything like that like they need to keep that fucking thing alive. 0.98
00:43:29.000 Like we need money coming in. 0.96
00:43:31.000 We cannot just operate on ideas.
00:43:33.000 We need money coming in.
00:43:35.000 Well, I think we can get Playboy Radio, and people will pay about $7 a month.
00:43:38.000 Let's do it!
00:43:39.000 Seven! 0.74
00:43:40.000 Make that money! 1.00
00:43:40.000 How many people do you think we're going to make? 1.00
00:43:42.000 I think about a million a month.
00:43:43.000 A million a month!
00:43:45.000 Five million a month!
00:43:46.000 We're out of the hole!
00:43:46.000 We're out of the hole in six months!
00:43:47.000 And people start thinking like that.
00:43:49.000 And then, you know... 0.99
00:43:51.000 But what the fuck do I know? 1.00
00:43:52.000 I don't know shit. 1.00
00:43:54.000 Larry Flint also said, you know, like, look, Playboy probably has 43 writers. 0.99
00:43:58.000 You know, they probably have a shitload of writers.
00:44:01.000 He's like, I have seven.
00:44:02.000 He's like, he's like, Larry Flint said that?
00:44:04.000 Yeah.
00:44:05.000 And it makes sense.
00:44:06.000 He's like, Larry Flint's like, I make a profit every month.
00:44:08.000 They don't.
00:44:09.000 You know, I mean, and... 1.00
00:44:10.000 He's got hardcore shit on his, you know. 1.00
00:44:13.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:44:14.000 His magazine's hardcore as fuck. 1.00
00:44:16.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:44:16.000 And I still buy, you know, Penthouse. 1.00
00:44:19.000 I still buy Penthouse occasionally.
00:44:20.000 How dare you?
00:44:21.000 What's wrong with you?
00:44:23.000 You don't buy Penthouse?
00:44:25.000 Why are you lying?
00:44:26.000 No, I do.
00:44:26.000 I just...
00:44:26.000 I swear to God, I do.
00:44:29.000 I bought one the other day.
00:44:30.000 American money.
00:44:31.000 American money.
00:44:33.000 You don't use Bitcoin or anything like that?
00:44:34.000 No.
00:44:35.000 It's like, oh, it's my ex-girlfriend on the cover.
00:44:36.000 I might buy it.
00:44:38.000 That's funny.
00:44:40.000 Yeah, I just don't think that they can make it.
00:44:44.000 It's like you can scrape out as much money as you have, keep a skeleton crew, run those magazines as long as you can, as long as they're profitable, but be ready to pull that chute.
00:44:55.000 Be ready to pull that shoot. 0.99
00:44:56.000 Because now you can just get shit on your iPad. 1.00
00:44:59.000 That's new. 0.96
00:45:00.000 And then they have these things that are essentially like Spotify for your iPad.
00:45:03.000 So you can choose from a bunch of different magazines like Time and Newsweek and all these different magazines.
00:45:09.000 You can get them on your iPad.
00:45:11.000 Go through it.
00:45:12.000 You download it.
00:45:13.000 Each page is a full image.
00:45:15.000 You can stretch it out and move it.
00:45:17.000 It's so much better.
00:45:18.000 It's so much better.
00:45:19.000 And once they start doing it like that where you have these subscriptions...
00:45:23.000 You know, it's not going to last.
00:45:25.000 The actual print thing is just not going to be around anymore.
00:45:28.000 Why would you want that print thing?
00:45:29.000 It's killing paper.
00:45:30.000 It's killing trees rather than make that paper. 0.75
00:45:32.000 You could just get the thing downloaded to your phone instantly.
00:45:36.000 Like that.
00:45:36.000 It's just ones and zeros in the air.
00:45:38.000 You know?
00:45:40.000 It's not going to make it.
00:45:41.000 It's like the dudes who are Morse code.
00:45:44.000 You know, like, listen, I'm telling you, this is the way to talk.
00:45:49.000 It'll never go away.
00:45:50.000 We'll always need Morse code.
00:45:53.000 Nope.
00:45:53.000 Nobody knows how to do that anymore.
00:45:55.000 SOS. Remember?
00:46:00.000 It was one, two, three.
00:46:01.000 One, two, three. 0.99
00:46:02.000 S-O-S. One, two, three is an S. Imagine being one of those assholes that actually has to sit there and try to figure out how many beeps that guy just did, and you're spacing out, and he's beeping at you. 0.99
00:46:15.000 We're getting a message from the Western Front. 0.99
00:46:19.000 You gotta write all that down.
00:46:21.000 Oh my god, and then you figure out when is the word done. 1.00
00:46:25.000 You fuck, you didn't put enough of a pause in. 1.00
00:46:28.000 You still did that in Boy Scouts, SOS. Did you? 1.00
00:46:31.000 Yeah.
00:46:31.000 We had to know how to do it.
00:46:33.000 We had to know what the signal was.
00:46:36.000 One, two, three, one, two, three.
00:46:38.000 But I mean, how are you going to send it?
00:46:39.000 What are you sending it with?
00:46:40.000 Are you going to bang on a drum?
00:46:41.000 Ham radio.
00:46:42.000 Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:46:44.000 If you have an AM radio, you can't transmit.
00:46:46.000 Ham.
00:46:47.000 Oh, ham radio.
00:46:49.000 That was a big thing, man.
00:46:50.000 Still is.
00:46:51.000 I remember my uncle, he would always let me play with it.
00:46:55.000 He'd be like, yeah, this guy's in Japan right now.
00:46:57.000 And you're like, oh, hi, you're in Japan? 1.00
00:46:59.000 What the fuck? 0.99
00:47:00.000 How are we talking right now? 1.00
00:47:02.000 It was a cool thing to do, but to go online and start a chat with some guy from Japan, he's going to show you his dick. 1.00
00:47:08.000 It's just a matter of time. 0.98
00:47:10.000 There's no friendship thing like that, like ham radio.
00:47:14.000 Back then, if you were on the radio with some guy, and you're like, so, what time is it in Germany? 1.00
00:47:22.000 Time for me to fuck your mother. 1.00
00:47:25.000 They didn't talk like that. 1.00
00:47:27.000 They didn't talk like internet people.
00:47:28.000 They had to actually speak to each other.
00:47:31.000 So because that element of you say something, someone reacts, there was probably way less trolling.
00:47:37.000 And you could get in trouble, too. 0.52
00:47:39.000 You could get your ham radio license taken away from you if you do shitty things. 0.76
00:47:44.000 I don't even think you're allowed to swear. 0.86
00:47:47.000 I think on a ham radio, I think there's restrictions on language.
00:47:51.000 It is regulated, right?
00:47:53.000 I don't know.
00:47:54.000 Let's see.
00:47:55.000 I know they're going to make you register your drones now.
00:47:59.000 So it's going to be like a car.
00:48:01.000 You're going to have to get a fishing license, probably, every time you get a drone.
00:48:05.000 That makes sense.
00:48:06.000 That was only a matter of time.
00:48:08.000 I was in...
00:48:11.000 Alberta last year, or this spring rather, and this guy had one that was attached to a cell phone. 0.96
00:48:17.000 And he's flying it around, and we're watching the image on the cell phone, you know, because it's transmitting, and I was like, this is fucking crazy. 0.75
00:48:25.000 This is way too good. 0.91
00:48:27.000 It's way too good.
00:48:29.000 Way too good and way too easy, because he's just maneuvering it.
00:48:32.000 You know, moving it around.
00:48:33.000 You can do it with your phone.
00:48:35.000 You can do it with a remote.
00:48:36.000 The ones that they have now, there's a lot of them, too.
00:48:38.000 A lot of different models. 0.95
00:48:39.000 They're fucking really good, man. 0.93
00:48:42.000 Yeah, I was thinking about getting one a while ago, but I think I'll wait it out. 0.96
00:48:46.000 It looks like it would be fun just to do, like, cool video stuff.
00:48:51.000 Yeah, it is cool.
00:48:53.000 I mean, they're still cool.
00:48:54.000 I wonder if you get grandfathered in.
00:48:56.000 It's like if you have an AK-47 or something and they can't come and take it.
00:48:59.000 Yeah, buy them now.
00:49:00.000 You posted the wrong link also on your Twitter.
00:49:02.000 For what?
00:49:03.000 So you guys are on YouTube now streaming instead of Ustreaming.
00:49:06.000 Oh, did I post the Ustream?
00:49:08.000 Oops.
00:49:08.000 Jesus Christ.
00:49:10.000 It looks great on YouTube, though.
00:49:11.000 I'm looking at the picture quality right now.
00:49:13.000 How do I find it right now, Jamie, if I want to find it?
00:49:16.000 So we're not on Ustream?
00:49:18.000 I just tweeted the right one.
00:49:19.000 We still haven't figured out how to do the Ustream.
00:49:22.000 At the same time.
00:49:23.000 Yeah.
00:49:23.000 Alright, hold on.
00:49:24.000 You should be able to just split it.
00:49:27.000 The video signal twice.
00:49:28.000 Yeah, it's not...
00:49:29.000 It doesn't work that way.
00:49:30.000 I saw ham radio stuff.
00:49:32.000 It's amateur radio.
00:49:33.000 There's regulations.
00:49:34.000 But it depends on how big...
00:49:35.000 Probably how strong your ham radio signal is.
00:49:37.000 So if you can broadcast really strongly, then you become like your own little radio station.
00:49:42.000 And then you have regulations.
00:49:45.000 How does that technology work to where people in other countries are...
00:49:50.000 Listening to it, though, what kind of radio station is this?
00:49:53.000 It's better than FM? Because it's a low-frequency signal that's making it.
00:49:58.000 You can get AM radio from all over the place, just in your house.
00:50:03.000 You can get radio from...
00:50:05.000 AM radio.
00:50:06.000 Radio goes further.
00:50:09.000 AM radio, rather, goes further than FM. It just doesn't have as high a bandwidth.
00:50:13.000 I find it amazing when people are still listening to radio.
00:50:16.000 That's another one.
00:50:16.000 I thought that would have been gone, too.
00:50:18.000 I still listen to it, unfortunately.
00:50:20.000 But I have friends that work in it, and it's brutal.
00:50:24.000 You watch the way they work, it's the same thing.
00:50:26.000 Because what they're doing, right, besides the playing record part, what they're doing is a podcast.
00:50:31.000 And the playing record part would be fucking infinitely easier.
00:50:35.000 Infinitely easier if you could do it on a podcast.
00:50:37.000 If you could just play records on a podcast, you don't need a bunch of people working behind the scenes, you could just play it.
00:50:44.000 If you could just play anything you wanted, but you can't really.
00:50:48.000 You could play it, but there's fair use.
00:50:50.000 You could use something in certain podcasts, but it's not 100% clearly defined right now.
00:50:58.000 But for Radio Man...
00:50:59.000 Dude, I talk to...
00:51:01.000 I don't want to say their names.
00:51:02.000 But they're good guys.
00:51:03.000 And they're fun guys.
00:51:05.000 And I like doing their show.
00:51:06.000 But one of them was telling me that they just got done with their...
00:51:12.000 You know, they have a review where the company comes and sits him down. 0.99
00:51:14.000 He goes, they fucking hate everything we do. 0.96
00:51:17.000 We've been successful for decades. 0.99
00:51:19.000 They've been around forever.
00:51:21.000 And he goes, I've never had one of these meetings where they say we're doing great.
00:51:24.000 Never.
00:51:24.000 Everything is bad.
00:51:26.000 Everything is not good.
00:51:27.000 They're always looking to cut staff.
00:51:28.000 They're always looking to fire people.
00:51:30.000 It's just like this total negative meeting with these misers and these money people and these numbers crunchers.
00:51:38.000 And they're like, we We have to maximize profits.
00:51:40.000 We have a strategy to maximize profits.
00:51:43.000 We're going to need more commercials.
00:51:45.000 We want to add more commercials.
00:51:46.000 So, like, you'll do a break, and then they'll play, like, seven minutes of commercials, and then they'll play a song, and then you go back to talking again. 0.97
00:51:54.000 You're like, what is this fucking commercial thing you guys are doing? 0.91
00:51:57.000 Because how many of those can you do in an hour? 0.99
00:52:00.000 You got seven, and then you got another seven. 0.99
00:52:01.000 What, you got a half an hour worth of fucking commercials in an hour? 1.00
00:52:04.000 That's crazy! 0.99
00:52:06.000 But it's almost getting to that point with a lot of these radio stations.
00:52:10.000 They just have so much, man.
00:52:11.000 It's so crazy.
00:52:13.000 Yeah, I do it out of pure how easy it is in my car.
00:52:18.000 You turn on your car, the radio turns on.
00:52:20.000 It's kind of like background noise to a point.
00:52:22.000 But that's the only reason I listen to radio.
00:52:24.000 If it gets to the point where it just automatically turns on my Spotify and my car, then I would...
00:52:29.000 Yeah, it will.
00:52:31.000 You know, Sirius is so much better in that sense.
00:52:33.000 Like, when I listen to Opie and Jimmy, it's like they're swearing.
00:52:37.000 They're being honest and swearing, but even they have to worry about being fired.
00:52:40.000 They have to worry about some sort of a public outrage situation when they say something crazy and people demand their ouster and the heads will roll and the corporation has to bow down.
00:52:51.000 Well, you know, we've reviewed your file and we've found that this is not the first time you've said anything outrageous, Anthony Cumia.
00:53:00.000 You know, that's what he got paid for.
00:53:02.000 And they were like, you're out. 1.00
00:53:04.000 He tweeted a bunch of horrible shit. 0.99
00:53:06.000 Really, the great thing would be to have him come in and justify what he said or explain himself or apologize on the air or say he was drunk or address it the way he would have dressed it. 1.00
00:53:21.000 And if he did do that, the fucking ratings would be giant. 0.97
00:53:24.000 If they were smart about their business, the business model, that's how they would handle it. 0.99
00:53:29.000 You've got a built-in ratings boost right there.
00:53:32.000 Let people talk more about it. 0.98
00:53:34.000 Have people bitch more. 1.00
00:53:35.000 What you should do is tweet some... 1.00
00:53:37.000 You should have a sock-puppeted account where you tweet some of the other outrageous shit that he said over the past five years. 0.99
00:53:43.000 Just spam it. 0.99
00:53:45.000 Spam it out there.
00:53:47.000 It's only going to help.
00:53:48.000 It's only going to help.
00:53:50.000 Is it going to get more people pissed off?
00:53:51.000 Yes.
00:53:52.000 Is it going to get more people to call up?
00:53:54.000 We're going to cancel Sirius.
00:53:55.000 Are you really? 1.00
00:53:56.000 If that's all it takes, if it's all it takes for you to cancel Sirius, fuck off. 1.00
00:54:01.000 Get out of here. 1.00
00:54:03.000 One guy says a few retarded things after he gets drunk and some hooker beats him up while he's holding a gun and he doesn't do anything about it. 0.99
00:54:13.000 Come on, that's a great story. 1.00
00:54:14.000 If that's what's going to get you to quit Sirius, Then go quit, bitch. 1.00
00:54:18.000 They need to be able to say that. 1.00
00:54:20.000 Go quit.
00:54:21.000 It's a dead model.
00:54:23.000 Yeah.
00:54:24.000 That's just a better version of the dead model.
00:54:26.000 What they are is like, they're like a Betamax.
00:54:30.000 Like, the VHS was doomed.
00:54:32.000 It didn't even know it was doomed.
00:54:33.000 It was like a little bridge before we can get to digital media.
00:54:36.000 And the Betamax was just better.
00:54:38.000 It's like a better bridge.
00:54:40.000 Betamax was way better.
00:54:41.000 Better quality.
00:54:43.000 LaserDisc.
00:54:43.000 Yeah, LaserDisc.
00:54:44.000 Even better.
00:54:45.000 That's better than DVD. Mm-hmm.
00:54:47.000 How about Blu-ray? 1.00
00:54:48.000 Blu-ray can go fuck itself. 1.00
00:54:49.000 How about that? 1.00
00:54:50.000 It's so amazing.
00:54:51.000 Look at the quality.
00:54:52.000 Good.
00:54:53.000 Good luck with it, too.
00:54:54.000 Why would I get that?
00:54:55.000 I could stream movies instantly. 1.00
00:54:56.000 Why don't I have to hold your stupid Frisbee? 1.00
00:54:58.000 True. 1.00
00:54:59.000 It's done.
00:54:59.000 It's over.
00:55:00.000 It's like they got us to that they got us to that but you can't do that anymore like that that model doesn't work anymore the model of like Broadcasting shit randomly through the air and you tune it in Oh, 0.60
00:55:17.000 I got it on the dial. 0.76
00:55:19.000 Here it is. 1.00
00:55:19.000 Unless the apocalypse hits, that's fucking stupid. 1.00
00:55:22.000 You know, just stop. 1.00
00:55:25.000 Everybody's got their own station.
00:55:27.000 Remember when Christian Slater, he was a rebel, and he broadcasted, even though he wasn't supposed to?
00:55:34.000 It was like, turn it up or something like that. 1.00
00:55:36.000 Turn the radio, whatever the fuck that stupid movie was called. 1.00
00:55:40.000 Pump up the volume. 1.00
00:55:42.000 Yeah.
00:55:44.000 But that's what he was doing.
00:55:45.000 What he was doing was just a really low-rent podcast.
00:55:50.000 He was, I'm going to play real music, man.
00:55:53.000 I'm going to say what I think.
00:55:54.000 We're going to change the world.
00:55:55.000 No, you're not.
00:55:57.000 It doesn't change the world.
00:55:58.000 Podcasts don't change the world.
00:56:00.000 Serious radio, being able to swear, it doesn't change the world.
00:56:03.000 The culture is slowly going to evolve when people are allowed to communicate with each other.
00:56:07.000 But the idea that one guy is going to start a revolution, I'm going to tell the truth with my radio show.
00:56:12.000 Listen, buddy.
00:56:13.000 It's not going to happen.
00:56:14.000 Your bone structure is too perfect.
00:56:16.000 You have wonderful hair. 0.99
00:56:17.000 And the movie you're in sucks. 0.99
00:56:19.000 This is crazy. 0.99
00:56:20.000 I just had a flashback.
00:56:22.000 Look at this phone. 1.00
00:56:23.000 This is big ass. 0.99
00:56:24.000 That's a cordless phone. 0.99
00:56:25.000 That's not even a... 0.90
00:56:26.000 That's supposed to be some satellite phone or some shit like that.
00:56:30.000 I guess that's supposed to be a cell phone, right? 0.85
00:56:32.000 I don't know.
00:56:33.000 Yeah.
00:56:33.000 I guess that's supposed to be like one of those early...
00:56:35.000 That's like a really cool version of the early cell phone.
00:56:38.000 Was it like high school kids listening to his show?
00:56:40.000 Yeah, man.
00:56:41.000 He was changing the world with those kids.
00:56:43.000 I bet a lot of people listen to this podcast and their parents find out about it.
00:56:47.000 Well, you better get that off your phone.
00:56:50.000 That Joe Rogan and his marijuana talk.
00:56:52.000 Get it off your phone.
00:56:53.000 He doesn't even believe in our Lord.
00:56:56.000 Have you seen...
00:56:57.000 Not that I don't.
00:56:58.000 It's not true.
00:56:59.000 I don't not believe in God.
00:57:01.000 I don't disbelieve in God, just to be clear.
00:57:04.000 I don't...
00:57:05.000 I've seen no evidence.
00:57:07.000 Have you seen Manny Pacquiao's Instagram page, though?
00:57:09.000 No.
00:57:10.000 It's wonderful.
00:57:10.000 He's got a picture.
00:57:11.000 It's one of the goofiest pictures.
00:57:13.000 If you thought Dane Cook's Instagram was a hoot, you need to go to...
00:57:17.000 Go to Manny Pacquiao's Instagram and see what's going on with this dude.
00:57:23.000 I have a huge Dan Cook Instagram fetish, I tell you.
00:57:26.000 Look at this.
00:57:27.000 Make his name famous.
00:57:29.000 Make Jesus' name famous.
00:57:31.000 Wow.
00:57:32.000 And it says Glorify Apparel.
00:57:34.000 So apparently, this is like a real shirt company.
00:57:39.000 These are people that worked for American Apparel, but they got head injuries on the job, and they decided to form their own business with the money that they were getting from...
00:57:51.000 It looks like that store Lids made it.
00:57:56.000 It looks really basic.
00:57:57.000 It looks like a moss shirt that you could just get printed out in like 30 minutes.
00:58:01.000 I was trying to say something.
00:58:02.000 I couldn't remember what I was going to say.
00:58:04.000 I was trying to rant there, Brian.
00:58:06.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:58:06.000 American Apparel, whatever.
00:58:07.000 Head injury.
00:58:08.000 Head injury.
00:58:08.000 Make his name famous.
00:58:10.000 Look at that.
00:58:10.000 Ugh.
00:58:14.000 Jesus is like, what?
00:58:15.000 That's it?
00:58:16.000 So this is all advertising for this country?
00:58:18.000 It's all Jesus.
00:58:19.000 It's all Jesus, people.
00:58:21.000 Hilarious.
00:58:22.000 Do you remember on TVs where it used to have...
00:58:25.000 I just had like a flashback.
00:58:26.000 Grace upon grace.
00:58:27.000 What is that?
00:58:28.000 Grace upon grace. 1.00
00:58:29.000 That's some lesbian shit. 1.00
00:58:31.000 You can't do that. 1.00
00:58:33.000 Can't say that.
00:58:39.000 That's like having a shirt that says, let Jesus come inside you.
00:58:42.000 You can't.
00:58:43.000 Even though I know what you're saying, you can't.
00:58:45.000 Adopted. 1.00
00:58:46.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00
00:58:47.000 So what were you saying? 1.00
00:58:48.000 I just had a flashback.
00:58:49.000 Remember on old TVs where you used to have a knob, but then you had that knob that was in the middle of the knob where you used to fine tune the channel.
00:58:56.000 So like if you turn it to like channel four, then you had this other knob.
00:58:59.000 I forgot all about that second knob.
00:59:02.000 Yeah.
00:59:03.000 And then there was UHF and VHF. Yeah.
00:59:06.000 And UHF was like the...
00:59:11.000 One of them was like the good channels.
00:59:13.000 Right.
00:59:13.000 And the other one was like Benny Hill.
00:59:15.000 And AM radio.
00:59:18.000 Remember, Benny Hill wasn't on the regular TV. He was on the bullshit networks. 0.99
00:59:24.000 I forgot about that, though. 0.99
00:59:26.000 I did, too.
00:59:28.000 Yeah, I did, too. 0.98
00:59:30.000 There's a fucking hilarious horror movie called VHS. It's like one of those found footage ones where these people... 0.97
00:59:37.000 But the first one is actually pretty fucking cool. 0.68
00:59:40.000 It's one of those movies like, God damn it, if you could keep this up, if you could keep this up through the whole movie, it'll be pretty badass because it's a bunch of stories. 0.80
00:59:48.000 And the first one, spoiler alert! 0.96
00:59:51.000 The first one is about a girl who's a demon, and this guy picks this girl up at a club, but she turns out to be a demon.
00:59:58.000 But it's actually really well done.
01:00:00.000 It's freaky.
01:00:01.000 They're drunk, and they pick her up, and she's got these really weird feet, and then they realize something's wrong with her, but she keeps telling them that she loves him, she loves him.
01:00:10.000 It's really good. 0.98
01:00:11.000 But it's only like, watch it for 20 minutes, watch that first one, and then throw that fucking thing out the window if you have an actual copy. 0.99
01:00:18.000 A physical copy. 0.98
01:00:19.000 Blu-ray?
01:00:20.000 Yeah, if you have a Blu-ray.
01:00:23.000 The other thing is they fucked up with their protocol battles.
01:00:27.000 With like, Blu-ray, and I have a bunch of DVDs that are HD DVDs you can't watch on anything.
01:00:33.000 A bunch of them.
01:00:35.000 I got a player if you want.
01:00:36.000 I don't even.
01:00:37.000 You could get them all on digital now.
01:00:40.000 But that's, see, that'll be the demise of our knowledge.
01:00:45.000 That's what's gonna happen.
01:00:47.000 If you just look, if you pay attention to when people talk about the possibilities of natural disasters, like somebody just posted this on the message board the other day, that America is basically a ticking time bomb.
01:01:01.000 It's based on some article that someone wrote.
01:01:03.000 Maybe I'll pull it up real quick.
01:01:04.000 But it was based on, see if you can find it, Jamie.
01:01:08.000 I think it's in the main forum.
01:01:10.000 It might be in the podcast forum.
01:01:12.000 But the idea was that there's this giant culture of entitled people.
01:01:18.000 Nobody knows how to do anything for self-sustaining.
01:01:22.000 Nobody knows how to grow their own food.
01:01:24.000 Nobody knows how to get water.
01:01:25.000 And we live in these giant population centers.
01:01:29.000 America is a bomb waiting to explode.
01:01:30.000 That's it. 1.00
01:01:31.000 And it makes some really fucking good points. 0.98
01:01:34.000 Like when you go over it, it makes some really good points. 0.95
01:01:37.000 It's kind of freaky when you stop and think about how many different things we rely on that are, you know, hanging by a thread that easily could be taken out by a power grid. 0.90
01:01:47.000 Well, when you think about our knowledge, if we do, if something does happen, a solar flare or asteroid impact that wipes out, say, 20% of the population, stops the power and Man, if all of our shit breaks,
01:02:02.000 if we lost half the people on Earth, If all of our shit stops working, computers stop working, and we really, we have to live like the early settlers. 0.86
01:02:13.000 Like, people are still alive, the people that are alive today still have the knowledge that they have of living 30 plus years with, you know, the education system and all the technology that's in place today. 0.95
01:02:26.000 These people still have, stop, these people still have those things, right?
01:02:31.000 How long could you use what we have?
01:02:35.000 You don't have any power.
01:02:37.000 Are you going to be able to generate power?
01:02:38.000 Some people might be able to. 0.83
01:02:40.000 There might be a few people with propane generators that still work, and some people might be figuring out how to rig solar or create batteries or use the batteries that we have, but all large-scale industrial shit would be stopped.
01:02:56.000 All construction and manufacturing would cease and desist. 0.95
01:02:59.000 And then all of our knowledge that's on these fucking computers and hard drives, inaccessible.
01:03:05.000 When I was in Ohio a couple years ago for Christmas break, maybe for about a week, there was a really bad winter storm, like an ice storm almost, and power was out almost for the large part of the state for almost an entire whole week. 0.94
01:03:17.000 I thought about that recently.
01:03:18.000 If that happened here, even for three days, this place would almost fall apart if there was no power in Los Angeles.
01:03:24.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:03:25.000 People are soft as fuck here, first of all. 1.00
01:03:28.000 Soft as fuck. 1.00
01:03:29.000 Second of all, they wouldn't be able to keep food. 1.00
01:03:31.000 The difference between Ohio, you could put your food out in the garage, and it's cold as shit, and it would stay cold out there. 0.95
01:03:38.000 In the wintertime, out here, it's still 70 degrees, and your food's going to rot in a day. 0.87
01:03:45.000 In that article, it said one of the things that is holding on by a threat is the use of mind-altering drugs.
01:03:52.000 What was that all about?
01:03:53.000 I don't know.
01:03:53.000 I didn't read the whole thing.
01:03:55.000 Maybe probably if you talk about antidepressants.
01:03:58.000 Number three.
01:03:59.000 FDA approved narcotics.
01:04:01.000 Yeah.
01:04:01.000 Well, there's a lot of that.
01:04:03.000 Reuptake inhibitors.
01:04:04.000 Yeah.
01:04:05.000 Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, SSRIs.
01:04:08.000 Those are antidepressants.
01:04:10.000 Yeah, no more.
01:04:11.000 U.S. population was up 400% in the late 2000s over the 1990s.
01:04:16.000 Many of these drugs are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors.
01:04:21.000 These are the type the FDA-approved narcotics loan gunmen are frequently associated with.
01:04:26.000 You know, that's so true that there's a giant percentage of people that wind up shooting people that are on antidepressants.
01:04:34.000 But in all fairness, you know, there's that...
01:04:38.000 Causation, causality, paradigm.
01:04:40.000 Like that, you know, causation does not equal causality.
01:04:44.000 The idea that something happening, like just because these two things are combined together, it doesn't mean that thing caused that thing.
01:04:52.000 And there's other factors that you have to prove.
01:04:54.000 I know people are saying, you're butchering that right now.
01:04:56.000 I know I'm butchering it.
01:04:57.000 But there's other factors that people have to take into consideration.
01:05:01.000 One of the big factors is, why was the guy on antidepressants in the first place?
01:05:05.000 Why was the guy on antipsychotic medication in the first place?
01:05:08.000 If he's on it, it doesn't mean the medication made him do that. 1.00
01:05:10.000 It might mean he's fucking crazy, and that's why he's taking shit, and that's why he eventually wound up killing somebody. 1.00
01:05:15.000 But it could be that, too. 1.00
01:05:16.000 It could be that.
01:05:18.000 And it also could be that the SSRIs with certain people have an effect that makes them less likely to feel.
01:05:25.000 They don't freak out about stuff as much.
01:05:28.000 It might make things acceptable to them, including violence.
01:05:31.000 That's the rub.
01:05:32.000 That's the scary thing. 0.99
01:05:34.000 Especially if you combine it with other shit. 0.98
01:05:36.000 Like, I know Phil Hartman's family, they won money from Zoloft, because Zoloft allegedly... 0.99
01:05:42.000 I wasn't there when the court happened, I might have to say allegedly.
01:05:45.000 It was what I read on the internet.
01:05:48.000 I'm pretty sure it's the case, though, because she was doing Zoloft when she shot him, and that if you take Zoloft and you combine it with recreational drugs, especially alcohol and cocaine, especially.
01:06:00.000 Cocaine is supposed to make you really nutty when you're doing coke and SSRIs.
01:06:05.000 It's a very crazy combination.
01:06:08.000 Yeah, and if, you know, we run out of depression pills or happy pills, you don't really see that in the movies.
01:06:16.000 Like, half the people are just going crazy and angry and depressed and sad.
01:06:21.000 It certainly could happen.
01:06:22.000 In the world movies.
01:06:23.000 But, you know, I'm worried about all that.
01:06:25.000 I'm worried about, it's not like, well, you should know, what you need to be worried about is this.
01:06:29.000 You know, people love to make that argument.
01:06:31.000 We're missing the point.
01:06:32.000 The point is this.
01:06:33.000 No, that's also the point.
01:06:35.000 You know, the world's not a black and white thing.
01:06:38.000 The world has a lot of points.
01:06:40.000 There's a lot of areas that we need to look at when it comes to the way human life is operating today and what we require to keep it operating at this level. 1.00
01:06:49.000 We need a lot of shit. 0.99
01:06:51.000 Think about what we need to run this podcast. 1.00
01:06:53.000 You know, we're talking about how such a small shoestring organization, because it's just, you know, just the three of us in this room, and it's reaching all these people.
01:07:02.000 But you still need, like, Libsyn, you still need, you know, you need, like, hosts, and you need websites, and you need the fiber optic to be laid, you need the ability to transmit, you need electricity.
01:07:15.000 There's, like, a lot of shit that has to be in play, and then when the power goes out, All of it stops.
01:07:21.000 All of it stops. 0.99
01:07:22.000 And if the power goes out for a year or two years, we might as well be living in Mad Max.
01:07:27.000 And that's a fact. 0.99
01:07:28.000 That's a fucking fact. 0.99
01:07:31.000 When people start getting desperate, and their kids don't have any food, and we're trying to figure out how to get gas, woo! 1.00
01:07:37.000 Shit's gonna get ugly. 1.00
01:07:39.000 You better pack. 1.00
01:07:40.000 If they say, ladies and gentlemen, prepare for at least a year of no power, You gotta fucking head north. 0.99
01:07:48.000 Immediately. 0.99
01:07:49.000 I mean fucking immediately. 0.99
01:07:51.000 I don't care what the traffic jams are like. 1.00
01:07:53.000 Get out of here.
01:07:55.000 Get out of here.
01:07:56.000 Get out of here while you can. 0.99
01:07:58.000 You gotta get the fuck away from this powder keg. 1.00
01:08:00.000 Because there's a lot of really dumb people here. 1.00
01:08:03.000 And a lot of poor people. 1.00
01:08:04.000 And a lot of crime.
01:08:07.000 What are they gonna do?
01:08:07.000 Are they gonna keep the people in jail and make them starve to death?
01:08:10.000 The fuck they are. 1.00
01:08:11.000 They're gonna open those doors. 1.00
01:08:12.000 And whoa!
01:08:15.000 Having enough gas to get out of here to live somewhere.
01:08:18.000 That might not even work.
01:08:20.000 That might not even work.
01:08:21.000 Yeah.
01:08:22.000 It's just, this is a terrible place to be if everything stops.
01:08:25.000 Because there's too many people, and there's too many food requirements, and there's too many entitled dum-dums here. 1.00
01:08:31.000 There's too many people that would just fuck it up for everybody. 0.57
01:08:34.000 When you look at things like the riots, like the riots that happened, granted, they were reacting to A really, in their mind, a really important moment where Rodney King, you know, got beat up by these cops. 0.93
01:08:47.000 They saw one segment of a very long car chase and a prolonged fight with the cops. 0.99
01:08:54.000 But in the segment they saw, these cops are beating that guy with a fucking club. 1.00
01:08:58.000 They're beating the shit out of him. 1.00
01:08:59.000 They got acquitted. 0.99
01:08:59.000 So everybody went nuts. 0.99
01:09:00.000 But they went nuts against people that had nothing to do with it.
01:09:04.000 They went nuts with people like when they pulled that Reginald Denny out of the car and hit him in the head with a brick on TV. I'll never forget that.
01:09:12.000 Just that guy's out there right now.
01:09:14.000 That guy.
01:09:15.000 There's a guy like that guy.
01:09:17.000 Whether it's that guy specifically or a guy like him, he's out there right now waiting for the green light.
01:09:23.000 Waiting for it.
01:09:24.000 And there's a lot of them.
01:09:25.000 There's a lot of them.
01:09:26.000 And when there's no food, Man, no food and no water.
01:09:30.000 Those are not good combinations.
01:09:32.000 And no gasoline to get the food or water to here.
01:09:36.000 Whoa.
01:09:37.000 Good luck. 1.00
01:09:39.000 So all this shit that we have, you know, we're so amazed at our progress. 0.99
01:09:44.000 We've done such an amazing job. 0.99
01:09:45.000 Yeah, definitely.
01:09:46.000 But it could all go away.
01:09:48.000 It could go away real quick.
01:09:50.000 And we're putting too much important things on our phones and our electronics.
01:09:54.000 Like if my phone dies right now and all electricity goes out, I don't have numbers to my friends and my family.
01:09:59.000 I don't have any ways to contact them, you know, personal information.
01:10:04.000 Yeah, I might know ten numbers.
01:10:05.000 Right.
01:10:06.000 I don't even know that.
01:10:07.000 Really?
01:10:07.000 And another thing, my mom bought me one of those big medical books.
01:10:12.000 That's something that you don't even think about.
01:10:14.000 If we have no internet and you get an infection, you should know, oh, pour alcohol on it.
01:10:19.000 If you don't have alcohol, pee on it, or whatever you have to do.
01:10:22.000 I'm watching that Showtime show, The Nick.
01:10:25.000 Have you seen that? 1.00
01:10:26.000 Showtime does some crazy shit, man. 1.00
01:10:28.000 They have to. 1.00
01:10:29.000 They're like Playboy. 0.97
01:10:31.000 Nobody gives a fuck about them anymore. 0.99
01:10:32.000 They gotta do something gangster to get noticed. 0.97
01:10:35.000 And it's so graphic.
01:10:38.000 The guy's, first of all, it's totally unrealistic.
01:10:40.000 The guy's suffering from massive cocaine withdrawals.
01:10:44.000 His whole body's going to convulsions.
01:10:45.000 He's about to die.
01:10:46.000 Every vein in his body's collapsed, so she's got to try to find, the nurse has to try to find a new vein to shoot cocaine into.
01:10:53.000 And once she does shoot the vein in, he's fine.
01:10:55.000 Now he's up and talking swift and knows his stuff.
01:10:59.000 He's the best.
01:11:00.000 This is what we're going to do.
01:11:01.000 I'll accept your resignation.
01:11:03.000 You know, like the way they do these operations, he's like this mastermind genius.
01:11:08.000 But five minutes ago, he was just spasming and flailing away because he couldn't get his cocaine and all his veins are collapsed.
01:11:16.000 They shoot it into him and now he's fine.
01:11:19.000 Do you see what's going on with Homeland?
01:11:21.000 It's kind of hilarious.
01:11:22.000 I've never watched it. 0.99
01:11:23.000 The artists that work for Homeland, they wrote shit in Arabic. 1.00
01:11:27.000 How about Homeland is a stupid show? 1.00
01:11:30.000 How about how Homeland is Islamophobic and Homeland is... 1.00
01:11:34.000 Yeah.
01:11:35.000 Yeah, find that.
01:11:35.000 It's kind of interesting.
01:11:36.000 See if you can find the actual images.
01:11:39.000 But what they did is, you know, the artists, they were supposed to...
01:11:42.000 Put images in the background, you know, they create these environments that are supposed to look like Bangladesh or, you know, Nepal or wherever the fuck they want to be, right? 0.99
01:11:52.000 And when they have Arabic writing, they have to bring in an artist to write the Arabic writing.
01:11:58.000 These people are just writing shit because they know that these dummies can't read Arabic and they're not checking or double-checking and Apparently they get shit wrong all the time accusing homeland of racism appearing in the latest episode Apparently they get shit wrong about like alliances and conflicts they make stuff up in order to make their show better The artist hired Ad Authenticity to a refugee scene shot in Germany. 0.93
01:12:28.000 Also scrawled messages as, Homeland is a joke and it didn't make us laugh. 0.99
01:12:34.000 That's hilarious.
01:12:36.000 People get super sensitive about shows like that, you know?
01:12:40.000 You're dealing with...
01:12:43.000 A war-torn world that specifically focuses on the most war-torn aspects of the world.
01:12:50.000 All the places where the United States has military and they're battling fundamentalists.
01:12:58.000 Having these, you know, these scenes and they're putting them in these fictional shows and they're butchering the conflicts and they're... 0.98
01:13:04.000 When you do stuff like that, man, like if you're doing a show about Game of Thrones, you can do whatever the fuck you want.
01:13:10.000 You know, the Seven Kingdoms, you can have dragons. 0.74
01:13:13.000 You know, it's like Natasha Leggero calls the make-em-ups. 1.00
01:13:16.000 She doesn't like it because it's a make-em-up. 0.97
01:13:19.000 But what I don't like about this kind of a show is like if you're fucking around with the reality...
01:13:26.000 And if you twist the conflicts and you twist the alliances and you twist the actual historical events in order to make your show more smooth, the problem is people who are watching that show are going to believe you. 0.53
01:13:41.000 I know you're pretending that this is just fiction, but it's about real parts of the world.
01:13:48.000 They should have, like, the thing at the beginning, like, the following program is...
01:13:52.000 Yeah.
01:13:53.000 Because, yeah, I would watch that and think, oh, this is based on true.
01:13:56.000 But even if they have the thing at the beginning, you're going to tune in the middle. 0.99
01:13:58.000 You know, you come in, you just took a shit, it's five minutes in, yeah, I'll pay attention to this. 1.00
01:14:02.000 You know, you missed all that stuff where they told you this bullshit. 1.00
01:14:06.000 But, you know, they'll make stuff up in order to make their show more interesting or more dramatic. 0.82
01:14:12.000 What are you doing over there?
01:14:14.000 Did you see that new technology where, like, me and you could be sitting in a room next to each other in the TV and I could make you talk by using my facial features and stuff?
01:14:24.000 You mean you could make the image of me talk?
01:14:26.000 Yeah, image of you talk.
01:14:27.000 How...
01:14:28.000 I mean, that's a game changer.
01:14:29.000 Yeah, it's pretty freaky.
01:14:30.000 Do you have that link?
01:14:31.000 I got this.
01:14:32.000 I could just send this to you.
01:14:34.000 In the future, we could be watching Obama on the TV and it wouldn't even be him talking.
01:14:40.000 Well, it wouldn't be him making those facial expressions.
01:14:44.000 You can manipulate the image of someone's facial expression.
01:14:47.000 I could make you have duck lips and make you raise your eyebrows and it would literally just alter the face of your image to match the expressions that I'm making.
01:14:58.000 Right.
01:14:58.000 Or if I wanted to have a voice, you know, copy of it.
01:15:04.000 Like, say I have another technology where I can have you say a few words and then have a mimic voice that sounds exactly like you.
01:15:11.000 So then in the future I can have it look like you are saying something and be compelling.
01:15:16.000 Completely just a program or two that are working on your voice and your face Well, what they've done in the past is they've spliced together little snippets of stuff to make it seem like someone was saying something like they did that with Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan during his administration.
01:15:32.000 He he gave some speech and Somebody some bad people somewhere in the world They took his speech and they chopped it up and made it some other broadcast, then broadcast it to people all around the world saying this is how evil Ronald Reagan is.
01:15:48.000 But then they showed it on television.
01:15:49.000 I remember they showed all the different pieces.
01:15:53.000 Look at that.
01:15:54.000 Target reenacted.
01:15:56.000 It's pretty close.
01:15:59.000 Wow, it's so weird.
01:16:01.000 We're looking at a source actor who's on the left, and then we're looking at a guy on the right who's the CGI'd...
01:16:09.000 Like, there's a guy who's got no expression whatsoever.
01:16:15.000 And then there's a guy who's manipulating him who sits above him in the frame.
01:16:19.000 And as he makes these expressions in the frame, the guy on the left...
01:16:23.000 Look at that guy on the left.
01:16:25.000 ...is his...
01:16:28.000 Even though he's not moving at all, his face in the image is doing the exact same things that the other guy is.
01:16:35.000 And what's interesting is, it sort of seems to be accounting for the size and shape of your face, too.
01:16:42.000 Like, the size of his lips.
01:16:43.000 Like, see, like, the one guy has the bigger lips.
01:16:46.000 The guy above him, he's got them big old Angelina Jolie lips.
01:16:50.000 But the dude in the bottom's got some paper lips. 1.00
01:16:52.000 White people lips. 0.92
01:16:53.000 But the paper lips are what's moving, see?
01:16:57.000 It's interesting, right?
01:16:59.000 Like, it's not that guy's lips.
01:17:02.000 It's the guy below him.
01:17:03.000 It's the guy who's not moving at all.
01:17:05.000 They're actually using his facial features.
01:17:08.000 And, like, the parameters of his facial features.
01:17:10.000 That's right. 1.00
01:17:13.000 Yeah, you're not going to be able to trust shit. 0.99
01:17:14.000 In the future, definitely not. 0.99
01:17:16.000 Yeah.
01:17:16.000 I mean, it's probably already happened.
01:17:18.000 We just don't know.
01:17:20.000 I mean, if we're watching this on YouTube, what does the CIA have right now, you know? 1.00
01:17:24.000 I mean, they must have some insane shit. 0.99
01:17:27.000 By the way, speaking of the CIA, Neil deGrasse Tyson talked to Edward Snowden for two episodes of his StarTalk podcast. 0.99
01:17:36.000 It's a must listen.
01:17:37.000 It's a must listen.
01:17:38.000 It's amazing. 0.97
01:17:39.000 First of all, Snowden's a lot fucking smarter than I thought he was. 0.94
01:17:42.000 Because I remember thinking like, wow, this guy, he was a high school dropout and all of a sudden he's working for the NSA or the CIA or whatever he was working for, gathering data. 0.98
01:17:54.000 Why do they let a high school dropout?
01:17:56.000 But then you hear his story and you realize, well, he actually did wind up going to college and did wind up going to school.
01:18:02.000 He just had kind of a tumultuous life, but he was working for the NSA when he was like 16. He's a super genius.
01:18:09.000 Just because he didn't graduate from high school, when you listen to him talk, he's very fucking smart. 0.85
01:18:14.000 And he's very well read and understands exactly what the problems with all of this technology and this unchecked surveillance. 0.92
01:18:24.000 I mean, he's a hero.
01:18:26.000 I know some people have differing opinions on him, but that guy enlightened us to the activities of the government.
01:18:36.000 They were doing something that was illegal.
01:18:38.000 They were doing something that 99% of people are gonna have a real problem with.
01:18:42.000 Spying on people that haven't done anything wrong.
01:18:45.000 And it's fascinating to listen to him talk. 0.98
01:18:50.000 He also had some really interesting shit to say about aliens, which I thought was really crazy. 0.93
01:18:55.000 He was like, in a really complex, super advanced society, they're gonna have compressed data. 0.94
01:19:03.000 Everything's going to be compressed.
01:19:05.000 And everything's going to be encrypted.
01:19:06.000 And when you have compressed and encrypted data, it's going to be indistinguishable from background noise.
01:19:12.000 You're not going to know what you're listening to.
01:19:14.000 So if you're listening to some super advanced alien's communications and you're catching them through the air...
01:19:20.000 Good luck trying to figure out what that is.
01:19:22.000 They're not broadcasting.
01:19:24.000 Unless they're trying to reach us using our own primitive methods, they're not broadcasting like that anymore.
01:19:30.000 If they're advanced enough so they can get here from another planet, most likely they're encrypting everything and everything is...
01:19:37.000 We're going to hear it.
01:19:39.000 It's going to sound like background noise. 0.99
01:19:41.000 We're not going to know what the fuck it is. 0.98
01:19:42.000 But to them, it's going to go into their super advanced systems and it'll be clear as day. 0.99
01:19:49.000 But to us, it's like trying to send an internet signal to someone who was on the Santa Maria back in the Columbus days. 0.99
01:19:56.000 They'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? 0.98
01:19:57.000 I sent you the email. 0.99
01:19:58.000 What?
01:19:59.000 You sent me the email?
01:20:01.000 I'm on a boat here.
01:20:02.000 I'm getting scurvy.
01:20:03.000 What do you mean you sent... 0.99
01:20:04.000 What the fuck's an email? 0.99
01:20:05.000 What are you talking about? 0.99
01:20:05.000 Dude, check your phone. 0.99
01:20:06.000 Check my what?
01:20:07.000 Like, they won't even know what you're talking about, right?
01:20:10.000 Well, you think about what that is.
01:20:11.000 Think of that sort of electronic communication that just a few hundred years ago is completely alien and out of the question to the point where they would not be able to even conceptualize what you're saying. 0.99
01:20:23.000 If you tried to explain something to them, my friend keeps sending me these dick pics on a phone, you'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.98
01:20:31.000 Now think of that and now extrapolate to a society that's a thousand years more advanced than us or a million years more advanced than us. 0.99
01:20:39.000 And it's the same sort of lack of ability to recognize what they're doing.
01:20:45.000 Unless the technology and the science was so good, how it should be, that there was like a downgradable, like it detects our language and goes, okay, this is English.
01:20:56.000 Around the year 2015, I will now convert it to an understandable, you know, communication.
01:21:02.000 Well, that's if they were trying to communicate with us.
01:21:04.000 That's what I said earlier.
01:21:05.000 If they chose to send something...
01:21:07.000 True.
01:21:07.000 Non-encrypted, but the problem is they're going to be communicating with each other.
01:21:11.000 It's like if we chose to talk to someone, if we had a time machine, and we can go back to Columbus, we would get him a scroll, you know, and it would have some writing on it.
01:21:21.000 We could do that. 0.95
01:21:22.000 It'd be easy as fuck if we actually wanted to communicate with him. 0.98
01:21:25.000 But if Columbus was out there in the middle of the fucking ocean, and he didn't know he had five bars on his phone, and he didn't know he has awesome Wi-Fi, he has no idea. 0.97
01:21:35.000 He's just out there There's nothing out here. 0.96
01:21:37.000 What do I do?
01:21:38.000 I'm on my own. 1.00
01:21:39.000 You're not on your own, bitch. 1.00
01:21:40.000 Pull out your phone. 1.00
01:21:40.000 He doesn't have a phone. 1.00
01:21:41.000 So, like, the ability to do something in the future might be completely outside of our imagination right now, completely outside of our comprehension.
01:21:53.000 Front page of CNN right now, supposedly some high school kids hacked the private accounts of CIA and Homeland Security chiefs.
01:22:02.000 Yeah, and did you hear what he was doing?
01:22:04.000 They hacked his account. 0.99
01:22:05.000 He was on fucking AOL. Are you serious? 1.00
01:22:09.000 These old men. 1.00
01:22:10.000 Yeah, these old fucks. 1.00
01:22:11.000 We need to get them out. 1.00
01:22:13.000 Get out of here, Grandpa.
01:22:14.000 You've got men.
01:22:15.000 Get out of here, Grandpa.
01:22:16.000 Oh my god.
01:22:17.000 I kept it in a secure file!
01:22:20.000 Are you serious?
01:22:21.000 It was a secure file!
01:22:25.000 Excuse me, it was on the American...
01:22:28.000 What does AOL stand for?
01:22:29.000 America Online?
01:22:30.000 America Online!
01:22:32.000 It is a giant corporation.
01:22:34.000 I have never heard of them being hacked in the past.
01:22:38.000 AOL email account associated with Brennan that included...
01:22:42.000 What does it say?
01:22:44.000 Files regarding a security clearance application and the hacker also claims to have access to Comcast account associated with Johnson.
01:22:54.000 Another old man. 0.95
01:22:56.000 Another old man who doesn't know what the fuck is going on with the world of technology. 1.00
01:23:00.000 God damn it. 1.00
01:23:01.000 AOL man. 1.00
01:23:02.000 What the fuck? 1.00
01:23:03.000 Is that guy running the fucking Secret Service? 1.00
01:23:07.000 CIA director. 1.00
01:23:08.000 That's what he is.
01:23:10.000 Jesus Christ. 0.62
01:23:14.000 I wonder if that was just like his email he used for porn or something. 0.63
01:23:18.000 Probably.
01:23:18.000 That's how he picked up dudes.
01:23:20.000 But look at their two positions.
01:23:21.000 The CIA director and the director of Homeland Security.
01:23:27.000 Jesus Christ!
01:23:29.000 The Department of Homeland Security secretary.
01:23:32.000 But Jesus Christ. 1.00
01:23:34.000 Those are fucking big people. 1.00
01:23:37.000 That's not the guy who is the plumber. 0.99
01:23:40.000 Oh, the guy who was the plumber at the CIA still use AOL. Tell him he can't.
01:23:45.000 Tell him to get on the edu, or what would they have,.gov email list, along with fucking Hillary Clinton. 1.00
01:23:53.000 That cunt's ruined it for everybody! 1.00
01:23:55.000 With your private emails. 1.00
01:23:56.000 Hillary Clinton.
01:23:58.000 Did you see what it said in her email?
01:24:01.000 Well, they got a hold of her emails, you know, because they were concerned that she was emailing from a private account.
01:24:07.000 It shows that Tony Blair and George W. Bush were trying to make plans to go into Iraq a year before they did.
01:24:16.000 Like, they were already like, we're going to Iraq, right? 0.93
01:24:18.000 We're going in.
01:24:19.000 Like, right away they were planning on doing that.
01:24:21.000 I think they said from 2002 there was emails where they were talking about doing it.
01:24:26.000 So before they even announced they were doing it, they were already trying to figure it out.
01:24:31.000 Oh, old people. 1.00
01:24:33.000 These goddamn old people should all have to fucking go to war. 1.00
01:24:36.000 You should have to be... 1.00
01:24:37.000 War should be for people over 50. That's it. 1.00
01:24:41.000 Everybody under 50, look, you lived your life, bitch. 1.00
01:24:44.000 You need to go over there and start shooting people. 1.00
01:24:46.000 Us, we have to... 1.00
01:24:47.000 I have two more years.
01:24:48.000 Us, we have to figure this world out.
01:24:52.000 You've left us with a mess.
01:24:53.000 So you guys need to go to war.
01:24:55.000 You're the ones who want to fight all the time?
01:24:57.000 Oh, yeah.
01:24:57.000 Okay, go to war.
01:24:59.000 Go over there, you fuck. 1.00
01:25:00.000 See Hillary Clinton with a machine gun? 1.00
01:25:02.000 Storming the beach?
01:25:03.000 Did you watch any of the debate?
01:25:05.000 Did you follow that whole Bernie Sanders, Time Warner, CNN thing at all?
01:25:10.000 What about the Time Wars?
01:25:12.000 So, Bernie, a lot of people think Bernie won.
01:25:15.000 Like online polls, Twitter, Google, if you search his name, for the most part, everyone said Bernie was way ahead of it.
01:25:22.000 But not the news.
01:25:23.000 But not CNN. Even on CNN's own website, they had a poll during the debate, and Bernie Sanders was at 75%.
01:25:31.000 Clinton was at 18%.
01:25:33.000 But they still declared Hillary Clinton the winner of the debate on CNN. That's like judging Last Comic Standing.
01:25:43.000 You know, you can't judge the winner of a debate.
01:25:46.000 Right.
01:25:46.000 It's always going to be someone, unless one of them is like, you know, Dan Quayle or someone totally incompetent.
01:25:53.000 So, find out that CNN, owned by Time Warner, Time Warner's the seventh largest campaign tributer to Hillary Clinton.
01:26:01.000 Like, over, I think it was hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars, Time Warner has donated to Hillary.
01:26:07.000 Of course.
01:26:08.000 Of course.
01:26:08.000 I'm sure there's an agenda.
01:26:10.000 I mean, we're, like, laughing. 0.85
01:26:12.000 You know those thieves?
01:26:13.000 They robbed somebody.
01:26:15.000 What?!
01:26:16.000 Did they really rob somebody?
01:26:18.000 That's crazy.
01:26:18.000 The thieves robbed people?
01:26:20.000 We're surprised that some greasy politician had her greasy hands in some other greasy company. 1.00
01:26:27.000 Look what they did to Ron Paul.
01:26:29.000 Remember when Ron Paul was doing those debates and smashing people?
01:26:32.000 He was ahead of people in the race.
01:26:35.000 And they would look at the people below him as qualified, sincere candidates, and they would look at Ron Paul.
01:26:41.000 Well, it's just a matter of time before Ron Paul's out of the race.
01:26:45.000 But, you know, that's not what you're supposed to do when you're a journalist.
01:26:47.000 When you're a journalist, you're supposed to look at the actual event and look at the actual facts of the event and then break down what's interesting about the trend.
01:26:56.000 But they didn't do that.
01:26:56.000 They put a spin on the trend.
01:26:58.000 And the spin was clearly that Ron Paul was a kook and that this wasn't going to last.
01:27:02.000 Even though you got people wearing Ron Paul for president shirts and cheering and screaming. 0.68
01:27:08.000 So you are smarter than them to the point where you're going to dictate how the information in the news is getting to these people with a biased spin that makes that guy look like a kook? 0.91
01:27:17.000 That's what Fox News did.
01:27:19.000 That's what a lot of people did.
01:27:20.000 That's what they're going to do to Bernie Sanders.
01:27:22.000 They're scared of that guy.
01:27:24.000 Yeah, CNN deleted the poll.
01:27:26.000 I mean, like...
01:27:27.000 They deleted the poll!
01:27:30.000 Find the poll.
01:27:31.000 I got it.
01:27:32.000 I sent the email.
01:27:33.000 Find the saved image from the poll.
01:27:38.000 I sent it in the email.
01:27:39.000 It's right there.
01:27:43.000 When you say right there, am I supposed to see this somewhere?
01:27:46.000 Oh.
01:27:49.000 Well, show it to me.
01:27:52.000 Oh my god.
01:27:55.000 That's hilarious.
01:27:58.000 Yeah.
01:27:58.000 That's hilarious.
01:28:00.000 You silly fucks. 1.00
01:28:02.000 Good lord. 1.00
01:28:04.000 Why do they think they can do that?
01:28:06.000 Why would they delete that?
01:28:09.000 That's amazing.
01:28:10.000 It's kind of scary though.
01:28:12.000 He's got 11%.
01:28:13.000 Yeah.
01:28:14.000 He stomped her. 1.00
01:28:15.000 Yeah.
01:28:15.000 He stomped her.
01:28:19.000 God, 75%.
01:28:20.000 Well, you know what that is?
01:28:22.000 That's the online trolls. 0.82
01:28:24.000 When people don't go along with your opinion, they're trolls. 0.56
01:28:29.000 O'Malley, you're out.
01:28:30.000 We can't have red people. 1.00
01:28:31.000 I mean, we can have Native Americans, but you can't be totally red.
01:28:35.000 That's a boozer. 0.97
01:28:35.000 He's either boozing or he fell asleep while he was drunk and he got a sunburn. 0.97
01:28:39.000 Look at that guy.
01:28:40.000 He's an Irish guy with a big red face. 1.00
01:28:43.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00
01:28:44.000 You can't be in there. 0.98
01:28:45.000 How did he get anything?
01:28:46.000 I never heard of that guy.
01:28:49.000 If I haven't heard of you by now, it's over.
01:28:52.000 Yeah.
01:28:53.000 Throw in the towel. 0.99
01:28:54.000 There's the black guy who doesn't believe in evolution. 0.99
01:28:57.000 There's the Hillary who's got the bad email account. 1.00
01:29:00.000 And there's Bernie Sanders who wants to give away everybody's money.
01:29:04.000 But apparently economists looked at Bernie Sanders' plans for reducing deficit and they're like, what?
01:29:11.000 This doesn't work.
01:29:13.000 I don't think anybody looks at it and goes, this is a wonderful idea that'll fix our problems.
01:29:18.000 He's a serious, hardcore socialist in a lot of ways.
01:29:22.000 But I think that's good.
01:29:23.000 It's good to have a guy like that stirring it up. 0.98
01:29:25.000 If that guy got into power, listen, it's fucking better than having another neocon. 1.00
01:29:30.000 It's way better than having another Dick Cheney behind the fucking puppet stand with his hand up George Bush's ass. 1.00
01:29:38.000 That fucked us. 1.00
01:29:39.000 Those eight years fucked us. 1.00
01:29:41.000 They changed the tone of our country. 0.98
01:29:43.000 They went from a time where there was this feeling of America, where everybody was sympathetic, where people were making, even Paris, they were putting on their newspaper, we're all Americans today.
01:29:54.000 I mean, it was an amazing time where a horrible thing happened, and the whole world came to us, and they came to us, and they extended their love and friendship.
01:30:06.000 And what did we do?
01:30:07.000 We just started invading people.
01:30:08.000 We invaded people that didn't have anything to do with it. 0.98
01:30:11.000 We fucked up to the point where eight years later, everybody hated us. 0.87
01:30:15.000 Everybody went from loving America to, why were you in Iraq? 1.00
01:30:20.000 Like, what are you?
01:30:21.000 There's no weapons there.
01:30:22.000 There's nothing there. 1.00
01:30:23.000 You guys are assholes. 1.00
01:30:24.000 What are you doing with all that oil? 1.00
01:30:25.000 What are you doing with all that? 0.99
01:30:26.000 Oh, you're just rebuilding shit? 0.99
01:30:28.000 What are you doing? 1.00
01:30:28.000 You have no bid contracts for billions of dollars? 1.00
01:30:33.000 Hold on, hold on. 0.99
01:30:34.000 Your fucking vice president was the CEO of the company that gets the no-bid contracts? 1.00
01:30:39.000 Are you that fucking transparent? 1.00
01:30:41.000 Is that transparent? 0.99
01:30:43.000 That's what happened. 1.00
01:30:44.000 Those people fucked us. 0.99
01:30:46.000 If we had Obama in office, say what you want about Obama, but Obama would have never, there was no way, unless the president has no fucking say whatsoever on how things go down, unless it's that dirty, there's no way that guy would have approached it the same way. 0.99
01:31:04.000 There's no way he would have come up with some reason why we had to invade Iraq. 0.63
01:31:07.000 I say that, but he did want us to invade Syria.
01:31:10.000 And people were like, what?
01:31:12.000 Remember that?
01:31:13.000 That doesn't come up anymore, does it?
01:31:16.000 No, that should end it.
01:31:17.000 Do you think news should be put under stricter guidelines for, you know, like, that should be illegal?
01:31:24.000 You know, CNN picking a side, giving money to a president and then announcing it?
01:31:28.000 Or look at the former Fox guy that just got arrested for, you know, fabricating a fake CIA past.
01:31:34.000 Or Brian Adams, who, you know...
01:31:36.000 Brian Williams.
01:31:37.000 Brian Williams.
01:31:38.000 Brian Adams.
01:31:39.000 Well, it's like a knife.
01:31:40.000 Na-na-na-na-na-na.
01:31:42.000 He just released a CD that covered the whole Taylor Swift album.
01:31:45.000 I highly recommend it.
01:31:46.000 He re-imagined Taylor Swift's whole album.
01:31:50.000 Oh boy, that's creepy.
01:31:52.000 It's good!
01:31:52.000 It's in a real dark...
01:31:53.000 doesn't sound like Taylor Swift.
01:31:55.000 Is it like when Garth Brooks had his alter ego?
01:31:59.000 It's kind of like Willie Nelson covering Nine Inch Nails.
01:32:04.000 I hurt myself today.
01:32:07.000 Johnny Cash, not Willie Nelson.
01:32:09.000 Yeah.
01:32:10.000 Jesus Christ.
01:32:12.000 Eddie Murphy told a Bill Cosby joke.
01:32:15.000 He got an award for the Mark Twain Comedy Award.
01:32:17.000 It's going to be on PBS. And he actually did like a whole bit.
01:32:21.000 Said he's writing comedy again.
01:32:22.000 Yeah, TMZ had him on yesterday saying he was going to...
01:32:25.000 He should just go full Jim Norton.
01:32:28.000 Look, I like trannies. 1.00
01:32:30.000 That's what he should just do.
01:32:31.000 And come back to the fold.
01:32:33.000 Just tell us who you are. 1.00
01:32:34.000 You can't get your dick sucked by dudes, but you're really straight. 1.00
01:32:37.000 That's okay. 1.00
01:32:38.000 You're Eddie Murphy, man.
01:32:39.000 Come clean.
01:32:41.000 But he can't, you know, it's different, man.
01:32:43.000 It's different.
01:32:45.000 Like the black community has different rules. 1.00
01:32:47.000 They have different rules which you can and can't do and some things you need to keep under wraps. 0.98
01:32:51.000 I don't know if he picks those transgender prostitutes up just because he was a nice guy and he wants to give him a ride home or if he really likes them. 0.96
01:32:59.000 But according to my buddy who was on the force back then, he's actually been there while it went down. 0.90
01:33:06.000 They're like, it wasn't just one.
01:33:10.000 He likes him.
01:33:12.000 Which is fine.
01:33:13.000 Like, Norton talks about it all the time.
01:33:16.000 People joke about it all the time.
01:33:17.000 And everybody loves Norton. 1.00
01:33:19.000 If you don't love Norton, go fuck yourself. 1.00
01:33:22.000 How about that? 1.00
01:33:23.000 And I think if Eddie Murphy just came clean... 0.99
01:33:27.000 Black people turn on, though. 0.94
01:33:29.000 All the people that voted for Proposition 8, that was when they found out that—Ari had a great joke about that, about black people want equality. 0.99
01:33:37.000 Everybody was like talking about equality, except the gays. 1.00
01:33:39.000 Like, nope, not you. 0.97
01:33:40.000 You can't get married. 0.96
01:33:41.000 Like, black people overwhelmingly voted against or for Proposition 8, which repealed gay marriage. 0.90
01:33:49.000 There's like Mormons—Mormons spent a lot of money on it, and a lot of black people voted for it. 0.98
01:33:55.000 Religion. 0.86
01:33:56.000 Religion's strong in black. 0.99
01:33:57.000 Yeah, but it's also the gay thing. 0.81
01:33:59.000 It's like there's a certain amount of homophobia that's accepted in certain parts of the African-American community.
01:34:07.000 That was a very politically correct way of saying that. 0.98
01:34:10.000 Black folks don't like gays. 1.00
01:34:13.000 And then it's not even all gays, man. 0.99
01:34:15.000 It's just you can't really talk about it too much.
01:34:18.000 But what is the Bill Cosby joke he told?
01:34:20.000 You want me to play it?
01:34:22.000 Sure.
01:34:23.000 It's only a Let's do it.
01:34:24.000 Play it.
01:34:25.000 Are we gonna get pulled off YouTube while we're on YouTube?
01:34:27.000 How's that work?
01:34:28.000 I'll just play the audio.
01:34:29.000 Okay.
01:34:32.000 Oh, and if you're tuning into this now, and you're like, God damn it, Joe Rogan, why'd you post the wrong link on Ustream?
01:34:38.000 I made a mistake, sorry.
01:34:39.000 I've been doing Ustream for six years.
01:34:41.000 But the other thing about it is that you can, on YouTube, one of the reasons why we decided to do it on YouTube is you could just rewind it to the beginning.
01:34:48.000 Even though it's streaming, you can go back to the beginning.
01:34:50.000 Oh, really?
01:34:51.000 Yeah.
01:34:52.000 It's a superior platform.
01:34:54.000 Did y'all make Bill give his back?
01:34:57.000 No, because I know there was a big outcry from people.
01:35:00.000 They was trying to get Bill to give his trophies back.
01:35:02.000 You know you up when they want you to give your trophies back.
01:35:11.000 He should do one show where he just come out and just talk crazy now.
01:35:18.000 I would like to talk too!
01:35:22.000 Some of the people who feel that I should give back my...
01:35:31.000 That's it?
01:35:39.000 They said he goes on a little bit longer, but this doesn't air until November 23rd on PBS. Oh, so they want you to tune in.
01:35:47.000 Dude, I like his timing.
01:35:50.000 He should come back. 1.00
01:35:51.000 He would kill it. 0.99
01:35:52.000 He might come back soon. 1.00
01:35:53.000 He would kill it. 0.98
01:35:55.000 Look, all that tranny stuff aside, who cares about that stuff? 1.00
01:36:00.000 He's one of the all-time greats.
01:36:02.000 Eddie Murphy, not Raw, I don't think Raw was as good as Delirious, but Delirious at the time, good lord, that was good.
01:36:11.000 He was on fire.
01:36:13.000 He was so powerful.
01:36:15.000 Can you imagine him just hanging out at the store again?
01:36:17.000 Too many people would swarm him.
01:36:20.000 It's hard for us.
01:36:21.000 It's hard for you.
01:36:22.000 You get swarmed at the store.
01:36:24.000 Imagine if you're Eddie Murphy. 0.94
01:36:25.000 The store is filled with weirdos.
01:36:27.000 It's a magnet for weirdos.
01:36:28.000 It's always been a magnet for weirdos.
01:36:30.000 It's gotten crazy lately.
01:36:32.000 Too crazy.
01:36:33.000 That's why they have the rope off in the parking lot.
01:36:34.000 They tell people they can't go near the cars because people are backing their cars out.
01:36:37.000 There's a bunch of drunks wandering through the parking lot, you know, trying to take a picture with Steve Renna's easy, and they're getting run over by cars.
01:36:46.000 This thing, this article that I wanted to talk about when we got here.
01:36:50.000 A transgender woman She was a woman.
01:36:54.000 She applied to an all-male, all-female college, Wellesley College.
01:36:59.000 I used to actually know a girl from Wellesley back in the day.
01:37:04.000 It's an all-girls campus, and so she applied for the college.
01:37:10.000 She was born a female, but then decided to transition Into... 0.99
01:37:16.000 She had a very hilarious... 0.60
01:37:18.000 This is hilarious.
01:37:19.000 Listen to the description of how she introduces himself, herself, whatever.
01:37:25.000 Masculine of center, genderqueer. 0.95
01:37:30.000 Exactly.
01:37:31.000 Exactly.
01:37:32.000 I am in love with this story.
01:37:35.000 I am in love with these kind of people. 0.99
01:37:38.000 I am in love with people that are so fucking preposterous that they take preposterous to an art form. 0.99
01:37:45.000 And they become living parody, whether they like it or not. 1.00
01:37:49.000 Listen to what the fuck I just said. 0.99
01:37:51.000 She goes to a college, she applies to an all-girls college, a super-liberal all-girls college. 1.00
01:37:57.000 She decides that she is transgender and decides that she wants to, she introduces herself as masculine of center genderqueer.
01:38:07.000 Changes her name to Timothy.
01:38:10.000 Decided that she's Timothy and asks people to use the male pronoun when referring to him.
01:38:16.000 Okay.
01:38:17.000 So, welcome on campus until the day that she announced, he announced, okay, it's he now, whatever, that he wanted to run for the school's Office of Multicultural Affairs Coordinator, whose job is to promote a culture of diversity.
01:38:33.000 Now who, you would think, would need diversity more than someone who's a transgender man?
01:38:39.000 I mean, that's a very small segment of the population, and they're often maligned, and this is a socially marginalized group.
01:38:48.000 And it would be nice for an open-minded liberal college to accept someone like this and to recognize what a perfect person to be a part of our campaign, encouraging people to be more open-minded and accept people.
01:39:04.000 No, they attacked her because now they felt that she is a white man.
01:39:10.000 And they don't want a white man in that position because if a white man is in that position, then they're supporting the patriarchy.
01:39:18.000 So there was three other candidates for the gig, right?
01:39:21.000 All women of color.
01:39:23.000 Wonderful if one of them win.
01:39:25.000 And then you got, okay, you know, your problem solved.
01:39:27.000 You got a woman of color in that position. 1.00
01:39:29.000 Plenty of diversity there.
01:39:30.000 You're good, right?
01:39:31.000 No, they all dropped out.
01:39:33.000 And then they started an anonymous Facebook campaign encouraging people not to vote at all to keep a white man from winning the position.
01:39:45.000 This is amazing!
01:39:47.000 This is the left eating itself.
01:39:50.000 That's what's happening.
01:39:51.000 They're eating themselves.
01:39:52.000 It is a feeding frenzy.
01:39:54.000 I used to have piranhas, okay?
01:39:56.000 And one of the things about piranhas is when one gets a limp... 1.00
01:40:00.000 They just jacked that motherfucker. 1.00
01:40:01.000 They are the most ruthless cunts. 1.00
01:40:03.000 When one piranha would just be... 0.99
01:40:05.000 You know, sometimes you have a fish tank.
01:40:07.000 One fish will just start swimming weird.
01:40:09.000 They start swimming kind of half sideways for some reason.
01:40:11.000 You're like, is that fish okay?
01:40:13.000 And you have to look at them like, what's going on with that fish? 1.00
01:40:15.000 That shit didn't last in that tank, baby. 1.00
01:40:17.000 No, those motherfuckers are just... 1.00
01:40:21.000 They just start taking chunks out of them. 1.00
01:40:23.000 That's what's happening here.
01:40:24.000 The left is, they're turning on themselves.
01:40:27.000 They've run out of outrage.
01:40:29.000 They've made so many safe places, they don't want anything to be safe anymore, and they want to be able to go to war over everything.
01:40:34.000 They're ferocious. 0.81
01:40:36.000 They're piranhas. 0.93
01:40:37.000 They are social idea piranhas. 0.86
01:40:40.000 And they're attacking a genderqueer, masculine of center man for not being diverse enough.
01:40:49.000 For being a part of the patriarchy.
01:40:51.000 Born a woman!
01:40:53.000 Born a woman, lived as a woman. 1.00
01:40:55.000 Nope, you're a white man now, you fucking piece of shit. 1.00
01:40:58.000 You're a part of the problem. 1.00
01:41:00.000 It makes no sense.
01:41:04.000 It does make sense though!
01:41:05.000 It makes sense because it highlights what this movement is all about.
01:41:09.000 It's socially retarded people that are left alone to their own devices, and they're just devouring each other like zombies. 1.00
01:41:15.000 They're just tearing into each other like zombies that are trapped into a fucking room. 1.00
01:41:19.000 They're just, rah! 1.00
01:41:20.000 They're just ripping each other apart.
01:41:22.000 You're not diverse enough! 1.00
01:41:23.000 You're not progressive enough! 1.00
01:41:25.000 Fuck you! 1.00
01:41:26.000 You're such a pig! 1.00
01:41:26.000 I'm triggered! 1.00
01:41:27.000 They're just triggering each other left and right.
01:41:32.000 This is an Onion article! 0.99
01:41:35.000 This is a fucking Onion article and it's not. 1.00
01:41:37.000 This is the National Review. 1.00
01:41:39.000 This is a goddamn Onion article and it's not. 1.00
01:41:43.000 Transgender woman can't be diversity officer because she's a white man now. 1.00
01:41:51.000 Makes zero sense. 0.99
01:41:52.000 No, it makes all the sense in the world!
01:41:55.000 No, it's not a fake article.
01:41:56.000 I mean, that seems like 100% a fake article.
01:41:58.000 It's perfect.
01:41:59.000 It's perfect.
01:41:59.000 It's amazing.
01:42:00.000 It's beautiful.
01:42:01.000 It's a rose.
01:42:03.000 It's a rose in a bad neighborhood.
01:42:05.000 It pops out of the concrete, and it comes out perfect.
01:42:08.000 It's amazing.
01:42:09.000 This is art.
01:42:11.000 It's the universe creating art with our own folly.
01:42:14.000 That's what it is.
01:42:15.000 It's culture.
01:42:17.000 It's people...
01:42:18.000 There's something that happens to people when you deny reality, when you don't look at things objectively.
01:42:23.000 There's, I think, priests that molest kids. 0.91
01:42:27.000 Some of that has to be from suppression.
01:42:30.000 Some of it has to be probably they'll abuse themselves.
01:42:32.000 There's probably all sorts of...
01:42:33.000 But some of that perversion has got to come from suppression.
01:42:38.000 It's like the Catholic school girl thing that everybody knows. 0.98
01:42:41.000 You know, when I was in high school, there was no scientists in my fucking ninth grade class, but we all knew that girls who went to Catholic schools were hoes. 1.00
01:42:49.000 And why are they hoes? 1.00
01:42:51.000 They're hoes because everybody tells them they can't be a hoe. 1.00
01:42:53.000 Everybody's talked to them constantly about, you are going to go to hell! 1.00
01:42:57.000 Do not touch a man's genitals! 1.00
01:42:59.000 Don't you do anything! 1.00
01:43:00.000 Those girls were freaks. 1.00
01:43:02.000 They were the biggest freaks.
01:43:03.000 And we all knew it.
01:43:05.000 There was no books on it.
01:43:06.000 There was no YouTube videos that we could watch. 0.99
01:43:09.000 But we fucking knew it, man. 0.99
01:43:11.000 We all knew it. 0.99
01:43:12.000 And I think it's a suppression issue.
01:43:15.000 And this is suppressing individual identity.
01:43:18.000 This is suppressing free speech.
01:43:19.000 This is suppressing objectivity.
01:43:21.000 You're not allowed to have unique or intertwined thoughts.
01:43:25.000 You're not allowed to share opinions with the left and with the right.
01:43:28.000 You're not allowed to.
01:43:29.000 You have to have, and you're constantly worried about being called out.
01:43:32.000 You're constantly worried about being outed and doxxed and called out and shamed. 0.99
01:43:37.000 Everyone's shaming people and attacking people and it's this fucking feeding frenzy. 0.99
01:43:43.000 I love it. 0.99
01:43:44.000 I'm happy.
01:43:45.000 I'm so happy when I read a story like this.
01:43:48.000 I would encourage this woman to fight to the death for her position. 0.99
01:43:51.000 Oh man, she's a man now. 0.98
01:43:53.000 Fight to the death for that position. 0.99
01:43:56.000 I mean literally, I want you to show up for school in a fucking, in armor, with a sword, and let them know that you are here because you are a warrior for diversity. 0.99
01:44:05.000 And you're gonna take this to the very end. 0.99
01:44:08.000 To the very end of time.
01:44:11.000 Oh, it's amazing.
01:44:13.000 This is an amazing story.
01:44:16.000 It's one of the greatest stories the universe has ever told.
01:44:21.000 And it highlights that story that we were just talking about, where the thing that was up on the thing earlier, where the United States is like a powder keg.
01:44:30.000 This is what we're talking about. 0.98
01:44:33.000 Entitled, ridiculous people. 1.00
01:44:34.000 They don't live in reality. 1.00
01:44:37.000 And you're concentrating on nonsense.
01:44:39.000 But why are they concentrating on nonsense?
01:44:41.000 Because they don't have to worry about feeding themselves.
01:44:43.000 They don't have to worry about shelter. 0.98
01:44:45.000 They don't have to worry about being in Ohio, having no fucking power for a week, and everybody has to stay alive. 0.96
01:44:52.000 You can't get to work. 0.95
01:44:53.000 Everybody's like walking back and forth to each other's house, sharing food and going out and getting firewood together and dragging it back at some little kid's wagon.
01:45:02.000 That's what people do when they want to survive.
01:45:04.000 When you want to survive, you come up with ways that you can all work together.
01:45:10.000 When it's too easy to survive, you start attacking people for nonsense. 0.99
01:45:14.000 And that's what the fuck is going on here. 1.00
01:45:15.000 You got a campaign! 1.00
01:45:17.000 We're gonna make sure that a white man's not gonna win this. 0.98
01:45:20.000 Like as if she's really a white man! 0.74
01:45:22.000 Why are we pretending that's a man?
01:45:24.000 Left of queer, genderqueer, masculine of center. 1.00
01:45:28.000 Shut the fuck up! 1.00
01:45:30.000 You're a girl. 1.00
01:45:31.000 You're a girl or a guy. 0.91
01:45:33.000 Whatever you are.
01:45:34.000 Who cares? 1.00
01:45:35.000 What the fuck? 1.00
01:45:36.000 There's probably way more to this story. 1.00
01:45:37.000 She's just a big bitch. 1.00
01:45:39.000 She's probably just eating too much pussy on our campus. 1.00
01:45:43.000 They're all mad. 1.00
01:45:44.000 This bitch is too good at it. 1.00
01:45:45.000 She's too good at it. 1.00
01:45:47.000 But she's genderqueer, so that means I don't think you do anything. 1.00
01:45:50.000 I don't know what that means.
01:45:51.000 I don't even think they know what it means.
01:45:53.000 You ever heard of pansexual?
01:45:56.000 There was a woman who was like, she was making history.
01:45:58.000 This is hilarious.
01:46:00.000 This is a hilarious story.
01:46:01.000 She was making history because she was the first pansexual person to take office. 1.00
01:46:10.000 What the fuck are you talking about? 0.99
01:46:12.000 What does that mean? 1.00
01:46:14.000 She means she doesn't sexually identify.
01:46:18.000 She's not particularly sexually attracted to either race or either gender.
01:46:23.000 It's either one or both.
01:46:24.000 Miley Cyrus is pansexual? 0.67
01:46:27.000 Of course she is. 0.99
01:46:28.000 That's called being a freak. 0.99
01:46:30.000 Pansexual. 0.93
01:46:31.000 What exactly does that mean?
01:46:33.000 But find the politician.
01:46:34.000 First politician as pansexual. 1.00
01:46:37.000 It's just so stupid. 1.00
01:46:39.000 Pansexual politician. 1.00
01:46:40.000 So it's like a new word for bisexual. 0.91
01:46:42.000 It's not even bisexual.
01:46:44.000 It's because, like, they have to be special.
01:46:46.000 It has to be.
01:46:48.000 Mary Gonzalez, Texas state representative, identifies as pansexual in new interview.
01:46:53.000 What?
01:46:53.000 First of all, good for her.
01:46:55.000 Eat that pussy. 1.00
01:46:56.000 Suck that dick. 1.00
01:46:57.000 Have a party, honey. 1.00
01:46:58.000 I'm not hatin'.
01:47:01.000 Do whatever you want, but do we really have to make a new name for it? 0.99
01:47:04.000 Fucking Christ! 0.99
01:47:06.000 And I posted something about this a while back on Twitter, and there was people that were defending the term pansexual. 1.00
01:47:12.000 I'm like, fuck you. 1.00
01:47:14.000 Fuck you for trying to muddy up the world. 1.00
01:47:16.000 Fuck you for having this on your mind. 1.00
01:47:18.000 Unless you're mocking it. 1.00
01:47:20.000 Fuck you for taking this seriously. 1.00
01:47:22.000 Fuck you for this being an actual thing where you want to debate it. 1.00
01:47:26.000 How bad is your job? 1.00
01:47:27.000 How bored are you at work that you're sitting in front of your Twitter account defending pansexuality? 0.76
01:47:32.000 You stop!
01:47:34.000 You stop!
01:47:35.000 She can do it.
01:47:35.000 I have no problem with her doing it.
01:47:36.000 Don't get me wrong. 0.99
01:47:37.000 But you fucking stop. 1.00
01:47:39.000 If you think you're going to defend that, fuck you. 1.00
01:47:41.000 You need to go cut snow. 1.00
01:47:42.000 Cut snow?
01:47:43.000 You need to go cut trees. 0.99
01:47:44.000 You need to go cut trees and shovel snow over at Jamie's parents' house in the middle of the winter when the fucking power's off for a month. 0.99
01:47:52.000 That's what you need to do. 0.99
01:47:53.000 You need to dig Brian Redband's mom out of the fucking woods. 1.00
01:47:56.000 Dig her out of the woods. 1.00
01:47:57.000 It's a mild dirt road back to that lady's house. 1.00
01:48:00.000 Get going, fuckface. 1.00
01:48:02.000 That's like, what is that? 1.00
01:48:03.000 How many thousand feet is a mile?
01:48:04.000 5,000.
01:48:05.000 5,000. 1.00
01:48:06.000 5,000 plus feet of snow shoveling, you fuck. 1.00
01:48:09.000 How much for the driveway? 1.00
01:48:12.000 You remember that?
01:48:13.000 You remember that when you were a kid, you'd go to a lady's house, and you'd go, ma'am, we're shoveling stone.
01:48:18.000 Well, how much for the driveway?
01:48:20.000 You're like, well, we're going to need 20 for this one.
01:48:21.000 That's too much.
01:48:23.000 That's too much.
01:48:24.000 It's a long driveway, ma'am.
01:48:25.000 It's going to take us a couple hours.
01:48:26.000 Oh, that's just too much.
01:48:28.000 They would get mad.
01:48:30.000 I do not miss those days.
01:48:32.000 Or having to mow people's lawns.
01:48:33.000 You do not miss it?
01:48:35.000 I did not miss mowing.
01:48:36.000 I hated mowing lawns.
01:48:38.000 I was watching Anthony Bourdain's show last night.
01:48:41.000 He did a special on San Francisco.
01:48:43.000 It was pretty badass.
01:48:44.000 But then I watched one that I had on the DVR. I was doing some work, so I was just kind of like half watching it while I was working on the laptop.
01:48:51.000 And he had one from Montreal in the middle of the winter.
01:48:54.000 And you're like, oh, Jesus, I forgot.
01:48:57.000 I forgot what that was like.
01:48:59.000 Woo! 0.99
01:49:01.000 They're just all bundled up outside.
01:49:03.000 Everyone's face is beet red.
01:49:05.000 Every breath that comes out of your mouth is frozen.
01:49:08.000 Because that place is wet.
01:49:10.000 That's a wet cold, too.
01:49:12.000 That's a by the ocean cold. 1.00
01:49:14.000 Zero degrees by the ocean is a motherfucker, dude. 0.99
01:49:18.000 That's not like the cryotherapy tank. 0.98
01:49:22.000 I got some new videos that you have to watch sometime on YouTube.
01:49:26.000 It's addictive. 0.99
01:49:26.000 You sent me a dude's dick the other day. 0.99
01:49:28.000 What? 1.00
01:49:28.000 That dude dancing and pulls his dick out. 1.00
01:49:32.000 You send it to me so much that I accuse you of sending me a guy's dick and you're like, I didn't. 1.00
01:49:40.000 Well, sometimes people send me shit and I immediately just send it to whoever is. 0.99
01:49:45.000 These guys made this prank video and what they did is they took a taser and they put it in the seat of a bicycle and attached it to a cell phone so you can call it and activate the taser. 0.99
01:49:57.000 Then they went to Compton and just put their bike down and waited until somebody stole their bike. 0.65
01:50:03.000 And so then you see people taking off and then they call the cell phone and it shocks their balls while they're sitting on the bike. 0.95
01:50:11.000 Oh my god. 0.92
01:50:13.000 And so they just fall off the bike.
01:50:15.000 That's like an advanced version of that bait car show.
01:50:20.000 Yes.
01:50:21.000 Yeah.
01:50:21.000 Yeah.
01:50:22.000 And then there's this other guy that just attached a rope to it, like a secret little rope to it.
01:50:27.000 So people would grab the bike and take off down this hill. 0.97
01:50:30.000 And then when the rope catches up, it just throws the bike back and they just rack their balls. 0.96
01:50:36.000 Oh my God. 0.98
01:50:37.000 So all these people are just breaking balls. 0.99
01:50:39.000 But they were thieves, so who cares? 0.99
01:50:41.000 Right.
01:50:42.000 That's a loophole, right?
01:50:43.000 It's a loophole! 0.99
01:50:44.000 But you could get really fucked up doing that. 0.99
01:50:46.000 You could get hurt bad. 1.00
01:50:48.000 Yeah, but they're stealing, so who gives a fuck? 1.00
01:50:50.000 I know. 0.99
01:50:51.000 So I'm addicted to these new things, like these bait car things and bait bikes.
01:50:56.000 Ian Edwards has a hilarious bit.
01:50:58.000 Ian has a hilarious bit on that bait car show.
01:51:01.000 Oh, yeah?
01:51:01.000 Oh, it's so funny.
01:51:02.000 You were just in San Diego, right?
01:51:03.000 Yeah, I worked with Ian in San Diego, Friday night. 1.00
01:51:06.000 Fuck, he's funny, man. 0.99
01:51:08.000 He's such a good dude, too. 0.99
01:51:10.000 He's one of those guys that he's been writing for shows forever, so he hasn't been, like, touring a lot and doing the road a lot, but he's also been doing comedy for, like, 25 years.
01:51:20.000 He's one of the best guys in the world.
01:51:22.000 He really is.
01:51:23.000 He's, like, if there's one guy that people just don't know about, that I go, God damn, people should know about Ian Edwards.
01:51:29.000 Like, people are knowing about Tom Segura now.
01:51:31.000 I mean, he's doing his second Netflix special.
01:51:33.000 He just did it.
01:51:34.000 You know, everything's going great for him.
01:51:36.000 You know, Ari, obviously, everything's going great for Ari.
01:51:38.000 Duncan, if he just would put out some content.
01:51:40.000 Like, Duncan's brilliant.
01:51:42.000 His comedy's amazing.
01:51:43.000 He's excellent.
01:51:44.000 He just doesn't put anything out. 0.99
01:51:46.000 He doesn't do any fucking specials. 0.97
01:51:49.000 I actually have not really heard anything from Duncan in a while, like online or... 0.98
01:51:54.000 It's hard to find a stand-up.
01:51:56.000 You know, I mean, he works all the time.
01:51:57.000 He was at the store the other night killing it.
01:51:59.000 He's still hilarious.
01:52:00.000 He just doesn't put anything out.
01:52:03.000 He's constantly working on his podcast.
01:52:05.000 I think Duncan likes doing podcasts more than anything, which is fine because it's amazing.
01:52:11.000 I mean, it's really good.
01:52:12.000 He's really good at it.
01:52:13.000 He's one of the best...
01:52:15.000 Ranters like Duncan like when you do podcasts with him one of the things that happens you got to know like when to back off and just like let him rant because you don't want to trip up what he's doing because he gets in these like these like Linguistic waves that he starts riding and he just says this amazing colorful way of describing things and Sometimes he'll paint a picture that you wouldn't expect or you wouldn't have ever painted without it It's and that's that's something that you don't really do when you do stand-up in a way because like The beauty of his
01:52:45.000 style of doing podcasts, the entertaining aspect of it, doesn't translate into anything else but...
01:52:52.000 I mean, it does a little bit to stand up, but really it's just a beautiful style of ranting about subjects that's great for a podcast.
01:53:00.000 It makes it look super enjoyable and interesting.
01:53:03.000 But to that, I think that to him is more exciting and more fun than podcasts.
01:53:09.000 And it certainly reaches more people.
01:53:12.000 Or comedy, you mean?
01:53:13.000 Yeah, than comedy, yeah.
01:53:15.000 It certainly reaches more people because, obviously, if he's doing a show, unless he's putting it out on Netflix or Comedy Central or something like that...
01:53:24.000 He's doing stand-up for a couple hundred people at a time, or a thousand people at the most.
01:53:29.000 But if he's doing that podcast, his podcast is hitting hundreds of thousands every month.
01:53:33.000 He's always been one of my favorite stand-ups.
01:53:35.000 When I first moved out here, I would go to almost all his comedy shows with him.
01:53:41.000 Just because I had no friends, I'd go with him.
01:53:44.000 He's one of the funnest people to watch on stage, especially when he had Lil Hobo.
01:53:50.000 Somebody stole it.
01:53:51.000 Yeah, I know.
01:53:52.000 It's San Francisco.
01:53:53.000 But there's people like him I wish would do more stand-up, like Nick Swartzen.
01:53:59.000 I love Nick.
01:54:00.000 He does stand-up a lot.
01:54:02.000 He just doesn't put anything out.
01:54:04.000 Right.
01:54:04.000 I just think he needs to put together a special.
01:54:07.000 He's so good, man. 0.97
01:54:08.000 He's so fucking funny. 0.91
01:54:10.000 But everybody knows Duncan. 0.96
01:54:12.000 I think a lot of people know Duncan because of the podcast world.
01:54:15.000 Ian is a guy who doesn't really have a big...
01:54:17.000 He was doing something with you for a while, right?
01:54:19.000 The preposterous sessions?
01:54:21.000 I just kind of do what I do with the roast battle.
01:54:23.000 I just replay it on Death Squad for him.
01:54:25.000 Oh, so it was his initially?
01:54:28.000 I was just trying to help him out with the...
01:54:29.000 Yeah, he needs to...
01:54:31.000 I don't know what it is.
01:54:32.000 I think he just needs to not write anymore on those shows, because when you write on those shows, you can't tour.
01:54:37.000 You're stuck.
01:54:38.000 He just turned down a big gig, because they told him that he couldn't pitch anything else. 0.99
01:54:43.000 They told him, you know, Kim is going through some shit right now with this. 0.98
01:54:47.000 These companies, they get you, and then they say that they own you intellectually, not just while you're working there. 0.97
01:54:53.000 Like, say if you write on a show, right?
01:54:56.000 They want you to not just write on that show.
01:55:00.000 They want to own you if you have a movie script that you're writing on the side.
01:55:03.000 They want to own you if you have a book.
01:55:05.000 They decide because they can, because their model is kind of rotting away. 0.99
01:55:10.000 Like the model of the sitcom, that's a fucking... 0.98
01:55:13.000 There used to be a lot of sitcoms. 0.99
01:55:15.000 Back in the day, like in the 90s, when I was on news radio, everything was a sitcom.
01:55:20.000 There was four or five sitcoms a night.
01:55:23.000 You know, you had Sex and the City, you had Friends, you had The Single Guy, you had Caroline and the City.
01:55:28.000 Sex and the City, I was confusing.
01:55:30.000 You know, you had all these different networks and all these different shows.
01:55:34.000 Everybody had sitcoms. 0.96
01:55:35.000 You had four or five sitcoms a week, six, seven sitcoms a week, whatever the fuck the number was.
01:55:40.000 You had dramas, all these different shows.
01:55:42.000 There are Dying now.
01:55:44.000 They have a few.
01:55:45.000 You know, you have like Undateable that's doing that weird shit where they're trying to do a live version of it. 0.75
01:55:49.000 Yeah, we'll talk about that. 0.72
01:55:50.000 And then you have like, I guess Two Broke Girls is still doing Frela. 1.00
01:55:54.000 Big Bang Theory is...
01:55:56.000 Big Bang Theory seems to me like...
01:55:59.000 Like, you know how they do that music that they play for the Cobra?
01:56:02.000 Yeah.
01:56:05.000 And then the Cobra just can't move.
01:56:07.000 He gets hypnotized by the music. 0.57
01:56:09.000 I think that is what happens with retards when they watch the Big Bang Theory. 1.00
01:56:13.000 I think it's somehow or another gets them to tune in just long enough to play those commercials, and then it ends.
01:56:19.000 And they go, what just happened?
01:56:20.000 And they wake up, what did I just watch?
01:56:24.000 There's only a few now, though.
01:56:25.000 So because of that, they want to own everybody.
01:56:29.000 They want to own all the stuff you did.
01:56:32.000 Now, with our friend Kim, it gets even crazier, because she's not even a writer.
01:56:36.000 She's employed as a secretary for a company, and the company that she's employed for- Deceptions, right. 0.71
01:56:42.000 Yeah, same thing.
01:56:43.000 The company that she's employed for wants to own a project that she's created.
01:56:49.000 On her own.
01:56:51.000 I kind of get where they're coming from.
01:56:52.000 How?
01:56:53.000 Because she works at a place that there's a lot of...
01:56:57.000 They make a lot of shows, all right?
01:56:59.000 So she has to interact with a lot of important people.
01:57:02.000 She sees a lot of things behind the scenes.
01:57:05.000 So what they do that for is like a basic thing in Hollywood.
01:57:08.000 So where she can't tell the competition like, oh, hey, you know, Jeff Foxworthy is going to be on the next show.
01:57:14.000 But that's just a confidentiality waiver.
01:57:17.000 That's what they're pretty much saying.
01:57:19.000 That's not according to her.
01:57:21.000 I think you're wrong.
01:57:22.000 I've read what she said when she sent me.
01:57:24.000 Right.
01:57:25.000 I talked to her last night and she made it seem like their reasoning is that they don't want me to create a show using secrets that they use on the side.
01:57:37.000 Because she's open to a lot of secrets.
01:57:40.000 Dude, they said the words, we own your brain.
01:57:44.000 That's what they said there.
01:57:46.000 We own your brain while you work here.
01:57:49.000 We own your brain. 1.00
01:57:50.000 That's retarded. 1.00
01:57:51.000 That's retarded. 1.00
01:57:52.000 I don't give a fuck what reasoning they have. 1.00
01:57:55.000 She's a secretary or a receptionist, whatever. 0.99
01:57:58.000 She answers phones.
01:57:59.000 If they want her to sign a confidentiality agreement, you do that.
01:58:03.000 Yeah.
01:58:03.000 But the idea that they say to her, we own your brain, they want to own her project?
01:58:08.000 They want to own the projects that she creates. 0.99
01:58:10.000 The particular, I think, thing she worked for, though, is very close to TV shows.
01:58:15.000 So, like, they can't have somebody just making TV shows based off secrets that she's seen.
01:58:20.000 But what are the secrets?
01:58:22.000 See, like, if you steal some- Formulas, I don't know.
01:58:24.000 But what is that? 0.99
01:58:25.000 Like, that's the purpose of working for some place where you're making shit money. 0.98
01:58:28.000 When you work as an intern, say if you work for an intern for the Opie and Anthony show or whatever, the reason why they're not paying you shit is because you're learning about the business. 0.97
01:58:37.000 Like, well, we're going to not pay you anything, and then what are you going to do? 0.98
01:58:41.000 You're going to learn shit here and then figure it out on your own, and then you can't be my slave anymore? 1.00
01:58:45.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00
01:58:46.000 That company's full of cunts. 1.00
01:58:49.000 That's a cunty company. 1.00
01:58:51.000 Why are you paying her five bucks an hour then? 0.83
01:58:53.000 Or whatever she's getting.
01:58:55.000 She's not getting much.
01:58:56.000 That's the whole purpose of working in an entry-level gig.
01:58:59.000 You're supposed to learn.
01:59:01.000 Well, you're going to take it, and you're going to learn, and you're going to go profit elsewhere.
01:59:03.000 It's one thing if she steals an idea. 1.00
01:59:05.000 If she steals an idea, they should sue her. 1.00
01:59:07.000 But if she's not stealing ideas, if she's just learning about the business, and you're trying to penalize her, they're trying to own what she's doing.
01:59:15.000 Not just kind of own it, but according to her, they want to own it.
01:59:19.000 They want to own everything she does while she works there. 1.00
01:59:22.000 That's crazy.
01:59:23.000 But that's also why you shouldn't have a job like that.
01:59:25.000 Yeah.
01:59:25.000 She should just be a comic.
01:59:27.000 Just struggle.
01:59:28.000 Get a waitress job. 1.00
01:59:29.000 You know?
01:59:29.000 Everybody wants to, like...
01:59:31.000 There's nothing wrong with waitress jobs. 1.00
01:59:32.000 They're fun.
01:59:33.000 It's good.
01:59:34.000 Unless you waitress in on Fat Tuesday at the comedy store. 1.00
01:59:38.000 Fuck that. 1.00
01:59:38.000 It doesn't exist anymore. 1.00
01:59:39.000 Do you watch The Daily Show?
01:59:40.000 Do you like this new guy?
01:59:42.000 Because I saw you tweet something the other day about it.
01:59:44.000 And I don't know if you actually...
01:59:45.000 I mean, I tried to watch it.
01:59:46.000 I'm not on board with that guy.
01:59:48.000 I haven't seen it yet.
01:59:50.000 But there's a...
01:59:52.000 There's a Russell Peters thing, where Russell Peters said that the guy's a thief, and then after he said the guy stole from him, the guy stole from someone else, I saw the bit that Russell said he stole from him.
02:00:03.000 It's the same exact premise.
02:00:04.000 And if you saw Russell do it, that's probably exactly where he got it from.
02:00:07.000 And then there was a thing where he recently did a bit that was a straight-up Dave Chappelle bit from like the early 2000s, right?
02:00:15.000 Yeah.
02:00:15.000 And 100% that was ganked.
02:00:18.000 Right.
02:00:18.000 It was the same wording, same premise, same everything.
02:00:23.000 And it's a Dave Chappelle bit, so you know that bit.
02:00:25.000 So if you're a stand-up comic, you know that bit.
02:00:28.000 I mean, it's like Louis C.K.'s Bag of Dicks joke.
02:00:30.000 There's like jokes that you kind of know.
02:00:33.000 Bill Cosby.
02:00:34.000 Bill Cosby.
02:00:34.000 Yeah, yeah, the Noah's Ark bit.
02:00:36.000 Or like, you know, Richard Pryor's vampire bit.
02:00:40.000 Vampire in the Hood.
02:00:41.000 You know that bit, man. 1.00
02:00:43.000 Sam Kinison's having sex with the homosexual necrophiliac joke, that bit. 0.99
02:00:48.000 You know that bit. 1.00
02:00:49.000 People know that bit.
02:00:50.000 So if you try to steal that, come on, son.
02:00:53.000 You can't...
02:00:55.000 He didn't even mix it up a little, but he mixed it up a little with Russell.
02:01:01.000 With Russell, you could tell the origin was most likely the same, that he probably saw Russell do it, but it's a race joke, and it's vague enough, and the way he did it, he danced around it enough.
02:01:13.000 Yeah.
02:01:14.000 Russell, in that interview...
02:01:15.000 By the way, that woman that interviewed Russell in that...
02:01:18.000 Oh, my God.
02:01:19.000 She's like, are you sure he's not jealous because he's hotter and younger?
02:01:22.000 He's skinnier.
02:01:23.000 Yeah.
02:01:24.000 Skinnier and cuter, she said.
02:01:26.000 Yeah.
02:01:26.000 Russell, you can tell, he also mentions another person that he stole from.
02:01:30.000 I don't know who the other comic is, but it seems like a smoke versus fire thing, definitely.
02:01:34.000 Smoke.
02:01:34.000 Or smoke and fire.
02:01:35.000 Yeah.
02:01:36.000 Yeah.
02:01:36.000 Most likely.
02:01:38.000 Yeah, and then he's there.
02:01:39.000 They're hanging out, though.
02:01:40.000 Do you think that... 0.99
02:01:41.000 Who gives a fuck? 0.99
02:01:44.000 Dave probably doesn't read the internet. 0.99
02:01:46.000 He's probably not even online.
02:01:48.000 Yeah, it's true.
02:01:49.000 Probably has no idea it happened.
02:01:51.000 People are getting to him.
02:01:52.000 It's like, hmm.
02:01:53.000 So they stole his jokes, but they're friends.
02:01:54.000 Well, okay, first of all, if you're a calculated guy like Trevor Noah, right?
02:01:59.000 Why wouldn't you do that?
02:02:00.000 Wouldn't you put this in?
02:02:01.000 What is it? 0.98
02:02:01.000 A fucking coincidence that a couple days later he takes his picture with Dave? 0.98
02:02:05.000 And who knows when this picture happened? 0.99
02:02:07.000 When did this picture take place?
02:02:10.000 Did the photo get taken yesterday?
02:02:13.000 That's what it's saying.
02:02:13.000 They went out to dinner or lunch yesterday, and this went before that Mark Twain thing that Eddie Murphy was just at.
02:02:18.000 There was a bunch of comedians together.
02:02:20.000 Well, okay.
02:02:21.000 Well, maybe he got together with Davey because he wanted to talk to him about it and tell him he had no idea or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
02:02:28.000 But when Russell did it, Russell said that he got this massive media backlash after he said the guy was a thief, and then he said it was a prank.
02:02:37.000 He said it was a prank.
02:02:38.000 Now, in the interest of confidentiality, I will go no further.
02:02:42.000 Right. 0.99
02:02:43.000 But you can fucking do the math. 0.99
02:02:45.000 I think my personal guess would be that it wasn't a prank. 0.99
02:02:50.000 You didn't do it.
02:02:50.000 Well, we don't need to go further.
02:02:52.000 That's what go no further means, Brian. 0.99
02:02:55.000 But, you know, Russell's the nicest fucking guy on the planet Earth. 0.99
02:02:58.000 He really is. 1.00
02:02:59.000 If Russell Peters says you're a piece of shit, I tend to agree. 1.00
02:03:04.000 Usually. 1.00
02:03:05.000 I mean, I don't know.
02:03:05.000 But it's...
02:03:07.000 Whatever, man. 1.00
02:03:08.000 You know, you also got to realize this fucking dude was doing it in South Africa. 0.99
02:03:12.000 It's like being on the moon. 0.99
02:03:13.000 It's like doing stand-up on the moon.
02:03:15.000 I mean, there's a few comics there, I'm sure, but their scene is...
02:03:18.000 It's so...
02:03:20.000 I mean, it might have been... 1.00
02:03:23.000 Their style to do other people's shit. 0.97
02:03:26.000 And I'm not exonerating them in any way. 0.99
02:03:28.000 But you gotta think, like, if you're in a band, okay, and you're in fucking Florida, guess what? 0.95
02:03:34.000 You're gonna do other people's music. 0.85
02:03:36.000 You know, if you really want to be a big band and you're learning and one day you guys want to be huge, you're gonna do some cover songs.
02:03:43.000 And in the world of stand-up, you don't do that.
02:03:46.000 In the world of stand-up, you can't get away with that.
02:03:48.000 But I guarantee you, there are some people right now that could be really good comedians someday.
02:03:54.000 And they're in some really obscure market in the middle of nowhere.
02:03:57.000 Or perhaps they're in some place that speaks Dutch.
02:04:01.000 Or some place that speaks French.
02:04:03.000 And they're stealing some Bill Cosby bit right now.
02:04:05.000 Or they're stealing some Bill Hicks bit right now.
02:04:07.000 That was always a big thing with Hicks. 0.99
02:04:09.000 There was a guy in Amsterdam that was doing stand-up in Dutch, and he was just stealing all of Bill Hicks' shit. 0.98
02:04:15.000 But some other guy who was bilingual realized it and was like, what is this? 0.97
02:04:19.000 In Montreal, it's a huge issue.
02:04:21.000 The French people up there, like the French-speaking, they do French-speaking shows.
02:04:26.000 And these guys will just...
02:04:27.000 Just gank dudes material. 0.56
02:04:29.000 Just gank Americans material and just translate it into France. 0.98
02:04:32.000 They don't leave that area.
02:04:34.000 It's a very centralized area.
02:04:38.000 Like Montreal and Quebec, totally.
02:04:41.000 They're very proud.
02:04:42.000 There's a giant population of French-speaking people. 1.00
02:04:45.000 And you can get away with doing a French-speaking act and steal a bunch of shit. 1.00
02:04:49.000 But... 0.99
02:04:51.000 If they are doing that, man, if they're listening to this, you gotta stop. 0.97
02:04:55.000 It's gonna fuck you up. 0.98
02:04:57.000 It's gonna ruin you. 1.00
02:04:58.000 It's gonna fuck you up. 0.98
02:05:00.000 Even if you're getting away with it now, you'll develop tendencies, and you're gonna want to steal when things aren't going well. 0.94
02:05:08.000 And those moments when things aren't going well, that's what defines you as a comic.
02:05:14.000 That's what pulls you out of the fire. 0.99
02:05:16.000 There's moments, I will tank bits on purpose when I'm working on shit. 0.97
02:05:20.000 I will take the energy down.
02:05:23.000 I will put myself in bad positions because it's the only way you learn how to get out of them and figure out, like if I don't believe in a bit that much, I'll do a strong part of a bit and then I'll back off of it and almost like put myself in a scared spot where I have to flail around to try to find a punchline.
02:05:40.000 I always have another bit on the ready.
02:05:42.000 To jump in with, to bring the crowd back.
02:05:45.000 But if you don't do that, and everybody does that.
02:05:48.000 Diaz does it that way.
02:05:49.000 Ari does it that way. 1.00
02:05:50.000 A lot of people do it that way.
02:05:52.000 We've talked about it. 0.99
02:05:53.000 We do it that way because that's the way you find shit, but you've got to go out in the deep water. 0.98
02:05:58.000 And people don't want to go in that deep water. 0.99
02:06:01.000 Those guys who steal, they never go in that deep water, man.
02:06:04.000 They go into those shallow kill zones, and they like to have these tight, nice, short, chopping sets where there's no pause, bam, bam, bam, next joke, oh my god, was that a pause?
02:06:16.000 Are they not laughing? 1.00
02:06:17.000 Fuck! 1.00
02:06:18.000 Steal! 1.00
02:06:18.000 And then they'll jump in with a steal. 1.00
02:06:20.000 That's the Mencia approach. 1.00
02:06:22.000 That's why when Mencia would always say he never bombed, ever, everybody, everybody was like, what?
02:06:28.000 Never?
02:06:29.000 You never bombed?
02:06:30.000 Dude, Chappelle bombed a year ago, and there's a video of it online.
02:06:34.000 22,000 people.
02:06:35.000 And if he's not the best comic in the world today, he's top three, right?
02:06:40.000 I think the best is Joey.
02:06:41.000 But Joey's bombed.
02:06:43.000 I've seen Joey.
02:06:43.000 Joey called me the other day.
02:06:44.000 He told me he bombed in Toledo. 1.00
02:06:46.000 Those fucking white people, Joe Rogan. 1.00
02:06:48.000 Those fucking white people hated me. 1.00
02:06:50.000 He goes, the Death Squad people came out, but those fucking white people, oh my God, they hated me. 1.00
02:06:55.000 He was in Toledo. 1.00
02:06:56.000 But you see what I'm saying?
02:06:57.000 In my opinion, I think Joey's the funniest guy I've ever seen in my life.
02:07:01.000 I've never seen anybody that makes me laugh as hard as he does.
02:07:04.000 And even he can still bomb.
02:07:06.000 You can just...
02:07:07.000 Because he's out there doing it.
02:07:08.000 He's got notebooks. 0.99
02:07:09.000 He's fucking flinging jokes around. 0.99
02:07:12.000 You have days where you're on and days where you're off. 0.99
02:07:15.000 That's part of developing, and it's constant.
02:07:18.000 It keeps going.
02:07:20.000 So these guys like these Trevor Noah cats, man, if that's your tendency, you're gonna keep with that.
02:07:26.000 It's gonna be very hard for that dude to break.
02:07:28.000 Yeah.
02:07:29.000 He might be able to break that tendency because he's famous now.
02:07:32.000 He might be able to hire writers, and he's smart, and he's obviously calculating, which is why he put that photo up. 0.94
02:07:37.000 He didn't put that photo up as a fucking coincidence.
02:07:40.000 You think he's like, oh, I didn't even know that people were thinking that I stole that bit. 0.99
02:07:44.000 Please, everybody fucking knows. 0.98
02:07:45.000 Everybody knows. 0.99
02:07:47.000 He knows that everybody knows, and he made a calculated effort to put up.
02:07:51.000 That makes me more suspicious of him.
02:07:53.000 Yes.
02:07:54.000 More suspicious.
02:07:55.000 If Dave Chappelle put that picture up, I would be like, what is Dave doing here?
02:08:00.000 Is he laughing?
02:08:01.000 Is this an inside joke?
02:08:03.000 But him doing it makes me more suspicious.
02:08:05.000 Absolutely.
02:08:06.000 It's hard out there for a pimp, Brian Redman.
02:08:08.000 You know.
02:08:09.000 When are you going to put together a special?
02:08:12.000 I need to.
02:08:12.000 I just need to do it.
02:08:13.000 Yeah.
02:08:14.000 I mean, I have the material.
02:08:15.000 I stopped like half hours worth of material recently.
02:08:19.000 What do you mean stopped?
02:08:20.000 I just stopped doing it.
02:08:21.000 But do you have it written down?
02:08:22.000 I mean, yeah.
02:08:23.000 I have it recorded and it's on video.
02:08:27.000 Dude, you should totally put something out.
02:08:28.000 Put something out.
02:08:30.000 Some guy just advertised the other day on Twitter, like, $1,500, four-camera shoot, we'll make your comedy special, or something like that.
02:08:36.000 $1,500?
02:08:37.000 Yeah, I'd be like, hey, I should just do that for fun.
02:08:39.000 Does he know what he's doing?
02:08:40.000 I don't know, probably.
02:08:41.000 It's so easy nowadays.
02:08:42.000 Some dude just wants to meet you.
02:08:43.000 I mean, remember when I used to go on the road with you all the time, I'd bring three cameras, have a front, back, two sides, and that was...
02:08:50.000 Those were shitty little old-school cameras, too, in comparison to what's available today.
02:08:54.000 Yeah, but we were kind of on top of the game on all the cameras.
02:08:57.000 You would always upgrade them to, like, the best Sony...
02:09:01.000 Yeah.
02:09:01.000 But yeah, I think my next one that I'm going to do, which I'm going to probably do within the next six months.
02:09:08.000 I'm working out all the details right now.
02:09:09.000 I think I'm going to do it at the Ice House.
02:09:11.000 I'm at the Ice House October 30th, too, by the way.
02:09:14.000 Me and Ian.
02:09:15.000 And maybe Diaz might stop by for the 10 o'clock show.
02:09:18.000 But...
02:09:20.000 I think that's the future.
02:09:23.000 I think the future is just doing it old school at a club and you know having the production value be in the quality of the video itself so that it captures the room as accurately as possible but don't try to make it like this big swooping camera and all that bullshit.
02:09:36.000 I want people to feel like they're sitting down in the crowd.
02:09:38.000 I think the only way to do that is to put it in a small spot.
02:09:42.000 Because, you know, I'll do big shows.
02:09:45.000 I'll do these big shows.
02:09:46.000 And they're fun, man.
02:09:47.000 Theaters are fun.
02:09:48.000 It's a different kind of experience.
02:09:50.000 But the real show, we all know, the really fun show that's going to translate into sitting at home and watching it is like doing it at a comedy club.
02:09:59.000 Especially the Ice House.
02:10:00.000 I love the Ice House so much.
02:10:01.000 I had one of my favorite sets Friday.
02:10:03.000 Just new stuff.
02:10:04.000 And just positive people go there.
02:10:06.000 Positive staff.
02:10:07.000 Everything's awesome there. 0.92
02:10:09.000 Well, it's got 60 fucking years of comedy burned into the walls, too, you know? 0.80
02:10:14.000 And also, I think I learned something from doing that Comedy Central special, the Rocky Mountain High. 0.97
02:10:19.000 I'm like, that's the way to do it.
02:10:20.000 That felt more to me like a regular set than anything else I've ever done.
02:10:24.000 You could see the audience.
02:10:25.000 They're right there on top of me.
02:10:27.000 You know, it was fun.
02:10:28.000 That's the way to do it.
02:10:29.000 And the Ice House is even better than that.
02:10:31.000 Ice House is our home, too.
02:10:32.000 You know, that's like home base.
02:10:33.000 Other than the Comedy Store, that place feels like home to me.
02:10:37.000 Even I do the factory.
02:10:38.000 I've done the Laugh Factory.
02:10:39.000 Who knows how many times over decades.
02:10:41.000 Still always feels weird.
02:10:43.000 Yeah.
02:10:44.000 The improv's pretty cool, but that's not, you know, it's not the same.
02:10:48.000 The Ice House to me is like right up there with the store.
02:10:51.000 Yeah, absolutely.
02:10:52.000 Yeah.
02:10:54.000 They have Germany orders recall of 8.5 million Volkswagens.
02:10:58.000 Did they recall yours?
02:10:59.000 I don't have that anymore.
02:11:00.000 I got rid of it.
02:11:01.000 You got rid of it?
02:11:01.000 Yeah.
02:11:02.000 Yeah, they fucked up. 1.00
02:11:04.000 They tried to lie. 1.00
02:11:05.000 I think I figured out what car I want to get, though.
02:11:07.000 Is that i3, the BMW? Oh, those are dope.
02:11:10.000 They look like an iPhone on wheels.
02:11:12.000 It looks cool.
02:11:13.000 Yeah, those are pretty dope.
02:11:14.000 I think I might wait to get a used one.
02:11:17.000 They're kind of expensive.
02:11:18.000 Are they?
02:11:18.000 Yeah.
02:11:19.000 I heard those things break down a lot, though.
02:11:21.000 Is that it right there?
02:11:22.000 It's a video of that autopilot from Tesla.
02:11:25.000 Oh, Jesus, play this. 0.53
02:11:26.000 So this is something we've got to leave on this because I've got to get out of here.
02:11:28.000 So this is some update.
02:11:30.000 Jamie, why don't you explain the update because Tesla...
02:11:33.000 They did an over-the-air update, which is something that I didn't know that they could do, but they said they're going to do it multiple times, and I think it's just in beta right now.
02:11:40.000 So Tesla has an autopilot and also an autopark.
02:11:45.000 The autopilot, I think it's just made for the freeway right now, but they've been testing it, and there's some video showing it used in New York on 12th Avenue.
02:11:53.000 And this is, I think, this looks like it's back on a movie lot, and they're showing that crazy button first, so it shoots up to 75 miles an hour, and then it's going to go into autopilot mode.
02:12:05.000 And you see it read street signs, and it's reading the white lines on the road.
02:12:08.000 Wow, Jesus Christ.
02:12:10.000 And then at the very end, it will stop it as it sees a car in front of it, too.
02:12:15.000 This is a video from Slash Gear so this shouldn't bother us too much.
02:12:20.000 Wow.
02:12:24.000 I'm going to start over too.
02:12:27.000 They're getting ready to launch right now.
02:12:32.000 Jesus Christ, this is TRON! Just look at that fucking screen. 1.00
02:12:38.000 This is on autopilot right now. 1.00
02:12:40.000 Yeah, that's fast.
02:12:42.000 Fastest four-door sedan in the world, you say?
02:12:44.000 Ever.
02:12:46.000 This is not driving itself.
02:12:47.000 I'm looking at his hand.
02:12:49.000 Turn on the autopilot system.
02:12:51.000 Engaging it now.
02:12:53.000 Wow, look how cool that screen is.
02:12:55.000 So cool.
02:12:57.000 The car will observe the 30 mile an hour sign and increase its speed as we go through this bend. 1.00
02:13:03.000 I'd be texting like a motherfucker right now. 1.00
02:13:05.000 Hell yeah. 0.99
02:13:06.000 And as it observes this 25 mile an hour speed, it's going to reduce...
02:13:12.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99
02:13:14.000 People are gonna fuck around and put 90 on those things. 0.99
02:13:17.000 Just tape a 9 over the 2. So many problems I can see, just with like... 0.98
02:13:23.000 But I'm sure they've thought through a lot of things, but...
02:13:26.000 Wow.
02:13:27.000 That's so cool.
02:13:29.000 That's amazing.
02:13:32.000 This guy Elon Musk is freaking me out. 1.00
02:13:35.000 Because he makes me feel really stupid. 1.00
02:13:37.000 Really stupid and really unambitious. 1.00
02:13:40.000 And really insignificant. 1.00
02:13:41.000 When I see him with his beautifully tailored suits and he's talking about changing the world, I'm like, am I looking at Tony Stark for real?
02:13:47.000 This is like, when is he gonna come out with an Iron Man suit?
02:13:50.000 Because he's gonna. 1.00
02:13:51.000 You know that fuck's got one already. 1.00
02:13:53.000 He's probably got one already in his basement. 1.00
02:13:54.000 He's probably all Adderall'd up.
02:13:56.000 Steve Jobs too, right?
02:13:58.000 He's more than Steve Jobs to me.
02:13:59.000 To me, he's way more innovative because what Steve Jobs did was amazing, but it was all in the world of computing, which is arguably the reason why this guy's able to do this in the first place.
02:14:08.000 It's because these incredibly powerful computers and the access to them and changing the way people use the internet is probably what started this all off in the first place.
02:14:16.000 But what he's doing between this and the bullet trains, he's going to create these magnetic trains that can go across the country in a fraction of the time it takes to fly What kind of plane do you think he flies in?
02:14:27.000 Something crazy, right? 0.98
02:14:29.000 Some stealth bomber type shit. 1.00
02:14:30.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:14:31.000 Who knows, man? 0.98
02:14:31.000 He's probably got some ridiculous jet. 0.98
02:14:33.000 G6. Imagine if he's got an electric plane. 0.90
02:14:36.000 Imagine if he's been flying electric jets.
02:14:38.000 He's got to have something that no one knows about.
02:14:39.000 He's got to have special prototype stuff.
02:14:41.000 Crazy phones and computers that we haven't seen yet.
02:14:43.000 Yeah, with no chemtrails.
02:14:45.000 It doesn't even make chemtrails.
02:14:49.000 Oh, my God.
02:14:50.000 Camp trail.
02:14:51.000 Black helicopters. 0.97
02:14:51.000 All right, we got to get the fuck out of here, folks. 0.97
02:14:53.000 That's it. 0.98
02:14:54.000 Brian Redband.
02:14:55.000 Thank you, sir.
02:14:56.000 Thank you.
02:14:56.000 Redband on Twitter.
02:14:58.000 R-E-D-B-A-N. There's no D. Okay? 0.96
02:15:01.000 How dare you?
02:15:02.000 And deathsquad.tv for all comedy dates and upcoming gigs.
02:15:06.000 What do you got going on?
02:15:08.000 Me and Tony just announced that we're bringing Kill Tony to Pittsburgh and Ohio.
02:15:13.000 We're doing Kill Tony and then followed by a comedy show. 0.99
02:15:16.000 Oh, shit. 0.99
02:15:16.000 Friday, November 27th. 0.99
02:15:18.000 I'll be in Pittsburgh and Ohio, November 29th. 0.99
02:15:21.000 Oh, shit. 0.98
02:15:22.000 And deathsquad.tv for all that information. 0.99
02:15:25.000 And that's it.
02:15:26.000 I'll be back tomorrow with the Iceman, Wim Hof. 0.99
02:15:29.000 Oh, that's right, bitches. 1.00
02:15:30.000 You heard it here. 1.00
02:15:31.000 Woo-wee! 1.00
02:15:34.000 See ya, you fucks. 1.00