The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #774 - Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen

00:00:00.000 Was she hot though? 1.00

00:00:01.000 Like a bag of water.

00:00:07.000 Yes!

00:00:08.000 Boys!

00:00:09.000 Yeah!

00:00:10.000 First of all, that is a beautiful t-shirt you're wearing there, Mr. Sharp.

00:00:14.000 Thank you, sir.

00:00:14.000 It's got the newest version of the Master Kim shirt.

00:00:16.000 Not out yet. 0.99

00:00:18.000 Accentuates his tits. 1.00

00:00:18.000 That's a fucking dope tiger, man. 1.00

00:00:20.000 It's like sort of a half-dragon-y tiger thing going on. 1.00

00:00:23.000 Very Asian, with an Asian T-Fat K. Yeah, man. 1.00

00:00:27.000 Who's doing your artwork?

00:00:29.000 I got a couple of guys.

00:00:30.000 This one I collabed with a guy, his name's on Instagram, Painted Demons.

00:00:33.000 And so the two guys I used, they're both from Tap Out, back in the Tap Out, Tap Out days.

00:00:38.000 Justin and this guy painted demons.

00:00:40.000 Jettisoned.

00:00:41.000 Floating out into the sun.

00:00:43.000 The world of t-shirts. 1.00

00:00:44.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

00:00:45.000 I love it. 1.00

00:00:46.000 The tap out thing is so strange.

00:00:48.000 It's like, there's a few companies like that, right?

00:00:51.000 Like Von Dutch. 0.51

00:00:52.000 Remember Von Dutch?

00:00:53.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:00:53.000 And then Von Dutch became Ed Hardy.

00:00:56.000 Yeah.

00:00:56.000 Oh, is that what happened?

00:00:57.000 Not really.

00:00:58.000 No, but you know what I mean.

00:00:59.000 The people that would have worn Van Dutch if they had been five years younger were now wearing Ed Hardy.

00:01:04.000 They call him Ed Retardy.

00:01:05.000 I don't know why.

00:01:06.000 Well, Ed Hardy was a legit tattoo artist.

00:01:09.000 Super legit.

00:01:10.000 Yeah, I mean, he's like a famous tattoo.

00:01:13.000 I think he's dead.

00:01:14.000 Is he dead?

00:01:15.000 Well, the kind of guys that wear, like, they're usually...

00:01:18.000 Easy, I used to wear some Ed Hardy.

00:01:20.000 But they're usually super muscular guys.

00:01:23.000 Shave their forearms.

00:01:24.000 They got the skin like a hot dog, to use your term.

00:01:27.000 You're talking Jersey Shore.

00:01:28.000 Here's the deal.

00:01:30.000 I mean, we can demonize those guys all day long, and we do, and it's funny.

00:01:34.000 But they're just trying to get laid. 1.00

00:01:35.000 The only reason why...

00:01:36.000 We wouldn't wear those things if we were all going camping together.

00:01:39.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:01:40.000 You don't wear rhinestones because you're looking to fuck your body. 1.00

00:01:42.000 Dude, they've done studies that when a man wears jewelry... 0.99

00:01:45.000 Don Ed Hardy, born in 1945. He's still alive?

00:01:48.000 I bet your sweet ass he's alive. 1.00

00:01:49.000 Wow. 0.99

00:01:50.000 He looks a lot younger there.

00:01:51.000 No, that's not him.

00:01:52.000 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 0.99

00:01:53.000 That's a different guy with a shitty shirt on. 0.98

00:01:55.000 He's known for those sailor tattoos. 0.98

00:01:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:01:57.000 The original sailor tattoos.

00:01:58.000 Yeah, he was like one of the great Americana tattoo artists.

00:02:03.000 He would make those really cool, like his stuff was not realistic looking at all.

00:02:09.000 It was like cartoonish.

00:02:10.000 There he is.

00:02:10.000 Look at him.

00:02:11.000 Powerful motherfucker. 1.00

00:02:11.000 He looks awesome. 1.00

00:02:13.000 He made bank. 0.98

00:02:14.000 He looks like a closet pervert. 0.91

00:02:15.000 Yeah, it's just weird that a tattoo artist, like I knew him from the tattoo magazines. 0.95

00:02:20.000 Yeah.

00:02:20.000 Because before I ever got a tattoo, I was like really into tattoos.

00:02:23.000 I'd buy the magazines and check out all the really cool artworks, like Paul Booth.

00:02:28.000 You ever see that guy?

00:02:29.000 Yeah, man.

00:02:29.000 From down in New Jersey?

00:02:30.000 Yep. 1.00

00:02:31.000 Goddamn that guy. 1.00

00:02:32.000 That guy, he won't let you tell him what to draw. 1.00

00:02:36.000 Really?

00:02:36.000 Yep.

00:02:37.000 Really?

00:02:37.000 You just gotta trust him?

00:02:39.000 Yep. 1.00

00:02:39.000 Damn! 1.00

00:02:40.000 He's got a style, and his style is like demonic, white eyeballs, black and gray, really cool, super detailed, amazing tattoos. 1.00

00:02:49.000 Look at this fucking guy. 0.99

00:02:51.000 Look what he looks like, Paul Booth. 1.00

00:02:53.000 He doesn't look like he's gonna take no for an answer.

00:02:56.000 I'm using your body as an experiment. 0.99

00:02:58.000 Damn, look at that poster in the back. 0.99

00:02:59.000 Fighting terrorism since 1490. That's American Indians. 0.99

00:03:03.000 Yeah, that's Native American.

00:03:04.000 I had a t-shirt like that.

00:03:06.000 Really?

00:03:06.000 Yeah, I stopped wearing it.

00:03:07.000 Sick.

00:03:07.000 I felt like, what is this message I'm doing?

00:03:11.000 It's awesome.

00:03:12.000 I might sleeve out just because I want to be 49 and sleeved.

00:03:16.000 I'm 48 and sleeved.

00:03:18.000 Yeah, but somehow it fits you.

00:03:20.000 I like tattoos.

00:03:21.000 If you like tattoos, it fits you.

00:03:23.000 I love the artwork.

00:03:24.000 I love the art that goes into it, man.

00:03:26.000 I love it.

00:03:27.000 And as I get older, I like girls that are tattooed up. 0.88

00:03:29.000 Me too.

00:03:31.000 I didn't used to like them.

00:03:32.000 I've always loved them. 1.00

00:03:32.000 I used to be like, oh, you crazy damaged bitch. 1.00

00:03:35.000 Nah. 1.00

00:03:36.000 But then I'm like, wait a minute. 1.00

00:03:36.000 I'm a crazy damaged bitch too. 1.00

00:03:38.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:03:39.000 Guys are crazy damaged too.

00:03:40.000 The only website I ever bought, like, you know, like subscribed to where I used a credit card to get access is Suicide Girls.

00:03:51.000 That's how much they turn me on.

00:03:53.000 But that's just pictures, right?

00:03:54.000 They don't even...

00:03:55.000 No, just pictures.

00:03:56.000 You're just jacking off the pictures?

00:03:57.000 I didn't jack off.

00:03:58.000 I just would look at them and be like, that was my girlfriend. 0.98

00:04:00.000 No, you jacked off for sure.

00:04:01.000 Otherwise, why would you get it? 1.00

00:04:02.000 Well, I'm a chronic masturbator, but I have YouTube or, you know, fucking RedTube and all that stuff for that. 0.99

00:04:07.000 Well, you know what? 1.00

00:04:08.000 There's an attraction to a girl that covers her back and her arms with tattoos for some reason because this girl doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:04:14.000 She's a badass. 1.00

00:04:15.000 Well, she knows that this is permanent and she's like, yeah, whatever.

00:04:19.000 Draw on me.

00:04:19.000 Yeah.

00:04:21.000 Pull up some pictures of that Paul Booth stuff because some of his stuff is insane.

00:04:25.000 He did that dude who... 0.98

00:04:30.000 Fucking wow. 0.99

00:04:30.000 Yeah, look at that. 0.99

00:04:31.000 Like that kind of shit. 1.00

00:04:32.000 Hey man, you're not putting that on my body though. 0.99

00:04:33.000 I'm gonna need to see the artwork before you put it on me.

00:04:35.000 It's really good though.

00:04:36.000 No, but he's so good, dude.

00:04:37.000 Jesus.

00:04:37.000 People wait for years.

00:04:38.000 Hold on, back up to that one with the tentacles. 1.00

00:04:40.000 Damn, that shit is sick. 1.00

00:04:40.000 Look how insane that is. 1.00

00:04:42.000 Go full screen with that please.

00:04:43.000 You know what? 0.99

00:04:43.000 That's fucking dope. 0.99

00:04:43.000 That's insane. 0.99

00:04:45.000 See, I would get that.

00:04:46.000 God.

00:04:46.000 Do it, Callan.

00:04:47.000 But you'd be like, why is Brian doing that?

00:04:49.000 Well, why isn't he?

00:04:50.000 See, that's your problem.

00:04:51.000 Let me tell you what your problem is.

00:04:52.000 What?

00:04:53.000 This is your problem.

00:04:53.000 You worry about what people think.

00:04:56.000 Well, that shit ain't good for you. 1.00

00:04:57.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:04:58.000 I don't know that that's true.

00:05:00.000 Yeah, you do.

00:05:01.000 Definitely.

00:05:01.000 That's why you don't have a nice car, and that's why you wear weird shoes that zip up on the sides.

00:05:05.000 Getting a Tesla.

00:05:06.000 I'm getting a Tesla.

00:05:07.000 He is getting a Tesla.

00:05:08.000 He ordered it.

00:05:09.000 I ordered it. 1.00

00:05:09.000 They fucking drive themselves. 1.00

00:05:11.000 You know that, right? 1.00

00:05:12.000 I got that.

00:05:12.000 I know.

00:05:13.000 You know how crazy it is?

00:05:14.000 I got the autopilot.

00:05:14.000 Talk to Tom Papa about it.

00:05:16.000 Yeah, well, I'm getting one.

00:05:17.000 I'm picking it up on March 31st.

00:05:19.000 My buddy Matt, Matt Lichtenberg, he's got one, and he said he gets on the highway, you press a button twice, I guess, it drives itself, and he just starts texting people.

00:05:28.000 Not for me, man.

00:05:29.000 It's just not for me.

00:05:30.000 I said to the guy, he explained it to me at the Tesla dealership, and I said, I wouldn't use that, and he said, oh, yes, you will.

00:05:38.000 Like, he was from the future.

00:05:39.000 Especially you and how much traffic you're in, it makes sense.

00:05:43.000 Well, listen man, when you have a nice car, it makes driving a fun experience.

00:05:48.000 Right.

00:05:48.000 Whereas if you have a...

00:05:49.000 Look, there's nothing wrong with just having a utilitarian car.

00:05:51.000 You know, Brock Lesnar used to drive around in like...

00:05:55.000 It was like a Chevy Citation or something like that. 0.98

00:05:58.000 It was like some weird little red fucking compact car. 0.96

00:06:01.000 That guy used to get in that thing. 0.97

00:06:03.000 And he's...

00:06:03.000 What?

00:06:04.000 All of 300 pounds.

00:06:07.000 He's enormous.

00:06:08.000 He makes me, when I stand next to him, we're not the same species.

00:06:14.000 It's a totally different kind of human being.

00:06:16.000 He'll make you rethink your career.

00:06:17.000 I've never seen him, I was like, maybe this isn't for me.

00:06:19.000 I've shaken some people's hands before, like Shaq. 1.00

00:06:22.000 He shook Shaq's hands.

00:06:23.000 But there's two guys, Shane Carwin and Lesnar.

00:06:26.000 Both those guys.

00:06:27.000 You shake their hand and you go, okay...

00:06:28.000 We're not the same. 1.00

00:06:29.000 Try getting hit with one of those fucking meat shovels. 1.00

00:06:33.000 I can't imagine that you did. 1.00

00:06:33.000 Meat shovels. 1.00

00:06:34.000 I can't imagine that you did.

00:06:35.000 I think with cars, for me, because I didn't grow up with any cars, like my parents were never into cars.

00:06:41.000 So if you don't know the difference, like sometimes you got to know the difference.

00:06:45.000 Oh, like grow up with it?

00:06:47.000 Yeah, I didn't grow up with it.

00:06:48.000 I just didn't grow up with...

00:06:49.000 I don't think I've ever driven a fast car.

00:06:52.000 I drove a Porsche once in traffic, and I couldn't open it up, so I didn't...

00:06:56.000 I just don't...

00:06:57.000 I didn't grow up appreciating what the car was. 1.00

00:07:00.000 Listen, he tried asking to drive my car, like, fuck no, son. 0.99

00:07:03.000 You should take his car up to Little Tujunga. 1.00

00:07:06.000 Do you drive a stick?

00:07:07.000 I do, yeah.

00:07:08.000 I learned on a stick.

00:07:09.000 Listen, I'll let you drive the GT3. It'll change your life.

00:07:12.000 He'd be like crazy eyes on fucking Mr. Deeds. 1.00

00:07:15.000 I'm sure I'd love it.

00:07:17.000 He would ruin your car.

00:07:18.000 No, he drives good.

00:07:20.000 He's a good driver.

00:07:21.000 But you would understand.

00:07:24.000 Maybe the Tesla's the beginning of my...

00:07:26.000 Oh, the Tesla's really fast.

00:07:28.000 Super fast.

00:07:29.000 One of the fastest cars in the world, especially if you download that app. 1.00

00:07:32.000 Stupid, stupid fast. 1.00

00:07:33.000 Well, he told me that they can... 1.00

00:07:35.000 Like, if I want it faster, they can upgrade it.

00:07:38.000 Yeah, there's some insane mode.

00:07:40.000 I don't think you need that, though. 0.76

00:07:42.000 Ludicrous. 0.63

00:07:42.000 Ludicrous mode. 0.63

00:07:43.000 I don't think you need that, though.

00:07:44.000 2.8 seconds.

00:07:45.000 Zero to 60 in 2.8 seconds.

00:07:47.000 That's so crazy for a big four-door sedan.

00:07:50.000 That's insane.

00:07:51.000 For a four-door sedan to hit 60 in less than three seconds and with no sound.

00:07:55.000 Right.

00:07:56.000 It's like...

00:07:56.000 There's no rumble.

00:07:58.000 There's no explosion.

00:07:59.000 It's like...

00:08:01.000 There are two things I wish I want to start wearing, but it's too late for me.

00:08:05.000 It's not too late.

00:08:06.000 I want that tattoo.

00:08:07.000 Get it.

00:08:07.000 We can do it.

00:08:08.000 Well, he won't do it.

00:08:09.000 He might do it, but he might do something better.

00:08:10.000 You just got to go to him.

00:08:11.000 Well, I also want to wear...

00:08:12.000 Dude, I can't do that.

00:08:13.000 I can't do that.

00:08:14.000 Just trust him. 0.98

00:08:15.000 Bro, I don't fucking like snakes. 0.99

00:08:16.000 Sorry, bro. 0.98

00:08:17.000 That's what you get.

00:08:18.000 That's how it works?

00:08:18.000 Maybe you could say, look, my mom was killed by a snake.

00:08:21.000 Could you lay off the snakes?

00:08:22.000 No. 1.00

00:08:22.000 And he would just do like bats or some shit. 1.00

00:08:25.000 Or is he like, now you're going to get what you're going to get. 0.99

00:08:26.000 It's a snake Wednesday. 1.00

00:08:28.000 I mean, he's a fucking artist, essentially. 1.00

00:08:30.000 I mean, not essentially, 100%. 0.99

00:08:31.000 And he looks at his art and he says, you know what, man?

00:08:35.000 People commission me to do pieces and this is what I want to do.

00:08:38.000 So I'm just going to say, I'm only going to take that work.

00:08:40.000 I get it.

00:08:42.000 Maybe I'm wrong, though.

00:08:43.000 I mean, I believe that's how he does it.

00:08:45.000 I've heard that before.

00:08:47.000 I appreciate that.

00:08:47.000 I don't think there's any bigger artists than in Southern Cal for tattoo artists.

00:08:52.000 It's the scene, man.

00:08:54.000 For sure.

00:08:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:54.000 It's a great spot.

00:08:56.000 If not the best in the world. 0.99

00:08:57.000 I mean, it is fucking killers here. 0.99

00:08:59.000 Tattoos are a form of- Shamrock, you got Cartoon, you got in OC, you got some killers. 0.99

00:09:04.000 Yeah.

00:09:05.000 Well, there's a lot of- Kat Von D. All over the country right now, there's a resurgence in tattooing.

00:09:09.000 Like, tattooing over the last few decades has become like a really respected art form.

00:09:13.000 Instead of just like, a lot of them were like weirdo fringe type artists who just were really into it, but there's a stigma attached to it.

00:09:20.000 You know, there's always a stigma attached to being tattooed up.

00:09:23.000 Yeah.

00:09:23.000 You know, and now it's not.

00:09:25.000 Like, if you have tattoos, like, Aaron Del of Adobe did this, and this is like 50 hours of work.

00:09:29.000 True.

00:09:30.000 You know, and he planned it all out as one sleeve.

00:09:32.000 He did this one, too.

00:09:33.000 He does both of my arms.

00:09:34.000 Really good color.

00:09:35.000 I think a lot of it is...

00:09:36.000 But he's a friend, too.

00:09:37.000 So, like, I go down there, we hang... 0.99

00:09:39.000 He's cool as fuck. 0.99

00:09:40.000 He's an amazing artist. 0.98

00:09:42.000 You get a close bond with your tattoo artist.

00:09:44.000 Mine's Freddy Negretti, who's done all this, from Shamrock Social Club in Hollywood there.

00:09:49.000 He grew up rough, man.

00:09:51.000 He started tattooing in prison, so he's a rough dude.

00:09:54.000 But the first hour with him, I was like, God, this is the worst.

00:09:57.000 He wasn't talking to me.

00:09:59.000 He was kind of mean. 0.99

00:10:00.000 I was like, fuck, it's going to be a long time. 1.00

00:10:01.000 But then he opened up, and he's my boy now, man. 0.99

00:10:04.000 That's funny.

00:10:05.000 He was mean.

00:10:05.000 Just a straight vato man.

00:10:06.000 Just gangster.

00:10:08.000 Yeah, he's great, man. 1.00

00:10:09.000 Maybe he was worried that you were like a dumb jock type character. 0.99

00:10:12.000 100%, yeah. 1.00

00:10:13.000 You're very deceiving in that way.

00:10:15.000 Yeah, he is.

00:10:15.000 A lot of people have the wrong idea of you.

00:10:17.000 And also, people get mad at you from podcasts.

00:10:20.000 Ladies and gentlemen, I know it's fun to hate, and I've done it before. 0.99

00:10:23.000 But you gotta understand, we play up shit. 1.00

00:10:26.000 When you ramp things up, you say ridiculous shit, he knows what he's doing. 1.00

00:10:30.000 He's doing it because it's ridiculous to say. 1.00

00:10:33.000 Yeah, I want the reaction. 0.90

00:10:34.000 He's a natural showman.

00:10:35.000 It's fun.

00:10:36.000 It's so much fun.

00:10:37.000 Comedy is about exaggeration sometimes.

00:10:40.000 A lot of it.

00:10:41.000 Yes.

00:10:41.000 A lot of it is.

00:10:42.000 I mean, that's some of the funnest shit. 0.99

00:10:43.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:10:43.000 You know? 0.99

00:10:44.000 But I think tattoos for me is, I think, uh, one, I didn't, I don't know that I express tattooing.

00:10:51.000 I don't know that there's anything I, I can, I can never make up a mind, first of all, what I'd want on my body.

00:10:56.000 It's timidity.

00:10:56.000 You're making it too big of a deal.

00:10:58.000 Like, I don't give a, it's cool, it's art.

00:11:00.000 What looks so good about your arm by itself?

00:11:02.000 Well, the muscle.

00:11:03.000 Look at the distriation and the foot separation.

00:11:06.000 Even if you have a nice arm.

00:11:07.000 If you have a nice arm.

00:11:08.000 If you have a big muscle, your arms fit.

00:11:10.000 I mean, you're fit.

00:11:11.000 You're a fit guy.

00:11:12.000 But it's his skin. 0.95

00:11:13.000 Okay, you go to a great artist and you have art on your body.

00:11:16.000 What would I get?

00:11:16.000 It's permanent art.

00:11:17.000 Forever.

00:11:17.000 You get whatever you want.

00:11:18.000 Why don't you guys both get fighter and the kid tattoos? 0.91

00:11:21.000 Boom, son.

00:11:22.000 You know, once we get to 10 million downloads, he has to get a tattoo.

00:11:26.000 That was the deal.

00:11:27.000 We made that bet.

00:11:28.000 That's right.

00:11:28.000 Wow.

00:11:29.000 Lucky not on my show.

00:11:30.000 Me and a Tesla with a Tesla.

00:11:36.000 What are you gonna get? 0.98

00:11:38.000 I don't fucking know. 0.95

00:11:40.000 Hey, man. 0.95

00:11:40.000 I'm gonna go all out. 0.95

00:11:41.000 I'm gonna go balls out and just get Medusa on my back. 1.00

00:11:44.000 Medusa?

00:11:44.000 Yeah.

00:11:45.000 You know who Medusa is? 0.99

00:11:45.000 Like a big one? 0.99

00:11:46.000 Of course I know who Medusa is. 1.00

00:11:48.000 He's a goddamn American. 1.00

00:11:49.000 Sorry. 1.00

00:11:50.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:11:50.000 You know who King Kong is? 1.00

00:11:52.000 Bro, you ever heard of King Kong?

00:11:53.000 Are you familiar with Bigfoot?

00:11:55.000 You need to know about gorillas, bro.

00:11:58.000 Sorry, everybody.

00:11:59.000 You ever see Lassie, bro?

00:12:00.000 You never saw Lassie?

00:12:02.000 You know Flipper's not a fish, right?

00:12:04.000 It'd be funny if I got Lassie.

00:12:06.000 Do you know who Medusa is?

00:12:08.000 That's a big smiley Lassie. 1.00

00:12:10.000 Who's that shitty dog? 1.00

00:12:11.000 That's Lassie. 1.00

00:12:12.000 I got Lassie on my back.

00:12:13.000 Doesn't Cerrone have Lassie on his back?

00:12:15.000 He should.

00:12:15.000 No, no, he has a pit bull.

00:12:16.000 It was his pit bull when he was a kid.

00:12:17.000 Oh, my bad.

00:12:19.000 It's like, no, I don't think so, man. 1.00

00:12:21.000 There's some shitty dogs. 1.00

00:12:23.000 It's a good tattoo of his dog. 0.99

00:12:24.000 That's his dog from when he was a kid?

00:12:26.000 Yeah, it passed away. 0.91

00:12:27.000 I'd like to get something silly. 0.91

00:12:28.000 Maybe a cow. 0.99

00:12:30.000 Ari Shafir got Keep On Truckin' tattooed on his body.

00:12:33.000 It's brilliant.

00:12:34.000 On his hip. 1.00

00:12:35.000 Dude, I love that shit. 1.00

00:12:37.000 I love that. 1.00

00:12:38.000 I love that.

00:12:39.000 What else can I get?

00:12:41.000 Dude, there's some great tattoos in the UFC and there's some terrible tattoos in the UFC. Yeah, let's be nice.

00:12:47.000 Crystalia, let's be nice.

00:12:48.000 I'm not calling anyone out. 0.96

00:12:50.000 Hey, I have some shitty tattoos myself, man. 0.97

00:12:53.000 Conor McGregor can slow down a little bit. 0.98

00:12:55.000 The one on the stomach is a little too real for me.

00:12:57.000 It needs to look like a tattoo.

00:12:58.000 Well, the tiger on the stomach and then the McGregor above it.

00:13:00.000 And he gave up his abs.

00:13:02.000 That's what bothers me.

00:13:04.000 How dare you?

00:13:05.000 People kill themselves for that abs.

00:13:07.000 How dare you?

00:13:08.000 I could have done without the crown being that up his neck. 0.96

00:13:11.000 No, that's gangster.

00:13:12.000 See, I like that. 0.90

00:13:13.000 I would love a neck tattoo.

00:13:14.000 I like the straight blast gym gorilla.

00:13:16.000 Me too.

00:13:17.000 And then the crown on top of it.

00:13:18.000 I think that's bad.

00:13:19.000 Me too.

00:13:19.000 That's my favorite tattoo.

00:13:20.000 I like the writing up his back.

00:13:22.000 I like that.

00:13:23.000 Well, that's weird.

00:13:24.000 And I like symmetry.

00:13:25.000 How much do you like it?

00:13:26.000 Like, do suicide girls like it? 1.00

00:13:28.000 Yeah, like, do I crouch and jerk off? 0.95

00:13:31.000 Like, would you pay money for a website that his photos? 0.99

00:13:33.000 Does your wife have any tats? 1.00

00:13:35.000 No.

00:13:36.000 No.

00:13:36.000 I'm going to get her a tattoo that says, mine.

00:13:38.000 Ooh.

00:13:39.000 Anybody could use that one, though.

00:13:40.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:13:41.000 You put Callens.

00:13:43.000 Now, mine.

00:13:44.000 Mine.

00:13:46.000 Women don't like that. 1.00

00:13:48.000 They don't like to be owned.

00:13:49.000 Yeah, at my wedding, I said...

00:13:51.000 Depends which one.

00:13:52.000 Ones with tattoos do.

00:13:53.000 At my wedding, I made a speech and thanked my parents and everybody, and I stopped, and I went, Amanda, you are...

00:14:00.000 And I was waiting, and they were bracing.

00:14:02.000 I was going to say something really sweet.

00:14:03.000 I went, Amanda, you are my property now. 1.00

00:14:06.000 And that's what this is about, isn't it, folks?

00:14:08.000 And everybody started laughing.

00:14:10.000 Did you get a dowry?

00:14:11.000 I did not get a dowry.

00:14:12.000 That's how it used to be.

00:14:13.000 You married your daughter off. 1.00

00:14:14.000 Daughters are so useless. 1.00

00:14:16.000 You gotta give stuff. 1.00

00:14:18.000 Hey, you know who cries at weddings?

00:14:19.000 This guy.

00:14:20.000 Aw, sweetie. 0.97

00:14:22.000 I could not.

00:14:23.000 I cried.

00:14:24.000 I don't know what it is about weddings.

00:14:25.000 Divorce.

00:14:26.000 You know divorce is coming.

00:14:27.000 Yeah, because you know it's not going to end well.

00:14:29.000 At my sister's wedding, I was in the wedding and I was...

00:14:31.000 Well, it's your sister.

00:14:32.000 But that's the reason why they used to give away a dowry was because the woman was thought of as being less valuable than the man, right? 0.99

00:14:38.000 Because times were tough and people were dying in war and famine and fucking sword fights and shit. 0.98

00:14:43.000 And so if you had daughters, the way you would marry them off to a good person, you'd have to give them something. 0.99

00:14:49.000 You'd give the dude something to marry your daughter. 1.00

00:14:51.000 It was also a way of joining families.

00:14:53.000 But that was the way!

00:14:53.000 You'd give like, oh, here's my daughter and here's a bag full of gold coins.

00:14:57.000 A ton of cash.

00:14:57.000 But that was the way.

00:14:59.000 That was like super common. 1.00

00:15:00.000 Dude, let's bring this shit back. 0.99

00:15:02.000 But it didn't go the other way. 1.00

00:15:03.000 That's what's happening.

00:15:03.000 What's fascinating about modern culture is the divorce is horrific for men.

00:15:09.000 Marriage and divorce can often be horrific for men financially. 0.99

00:15:13.000 And just from the limited amount of exchanges I've had with friends that have been divorced, it's fucking horrific. 0.98

00:15:19.000 The amount of money they lose is insane. 0.95

00:15:20.000 Especially in California.

00:15:21.000 And the amount of money they have to give off.

00:15:23.000 Because, you know, we know a few people that have done well and made good money.

00:15:26.000 And then, you know, it doesn't go well when it comes to the divorce.

00:15:29.000 And you find out the sums of money they have to pay out.

00:15:32.000 Well, you have to maintain their lifestyle when you guys were together.

00:15:36.000 Exactly.

00:15:36.000 And if you're a fighter, I have a fighter friend who went through a divorce.

00:15:40.000 And at the time when he was with her, you know, he's a badass making bank.

00:15:45.000 Right.

00:15:45.000 Well, that career is over, you know.

00:15:47.000 Yeah.

00:15:47.000 It's tough, man.

00:15:48.000 It is tough.

00:15:49.000 It's just crazy.

00:15:50.000 For athletes especially.

00:15:51.000 But it's weird how it's switched around.

00:15:53.000 Like it used to be that the man would get a lot out of getting married to the woman.

00:15:58.000 So it'd be like worth something.

00:15:59.000 It'd be like a big thing.

00:16:01.000 Like they had to give up a dowry.

00:16:02.000 And now it becomes the woman, if she decides, you know, there's a lot of power in that. 0.99

00:16:07.000 Especially if you marry like a rich guy.

00:16:10.000 You know, you marry some Donald Trump character. 0.99

00:16:12.000 Even if he's got a lockdown fucking prenup. 1.00

00:16:16.000 You're still set, son. 0.99

00:16:17.000 You're getting cash.

00:16:18.000 Especially if you have a kid.

00:16:20.000 Yeah, he'll give you a few mil just to get the fuck away from this.

00:16:23.000 If Donald Trump writes you a check for two million bucks, he makes that in a month.

00:16:27.000 That ain't no thing to him.

00:16:28.000 Probably not even a month.

00:16:29.000 He probably makes it in a week.

00:16:31.000 When you've got four billion dollars, that's four thousand million dollars.

00:16:35.000 That's insane.

00:16:35.000 It's kind of crazy.

00:16:36.000 Apparently he doesn't have that much money, but yeah.

00:16:38.000 But that's what he's worth.

00:16:39.000 There are people that do.

00:16:39.000 Well, he says he's worth 10, but they say he's probably worth 4. I've read estimates that he, if you actually look at, if you take out the debt and everything and how much he puts into his business, if you actually looked at what he has money-wise, it's closer to $200 million.

00:16:52.000 Broke-ass bitch. 1.00

00:16:53.000 Fucking scrub. 1.00

00:16:54.000 200 million. 1.00

00:16:56.000 That's people hating on him.

00:16:57.000 That was according to John Oliver and some other stuff I read.

00:17:01.000 Haters.

00:17:01.000 How do they know?

00:17:02.000 How do they totally really know?

00:17:04.000 It's a tough thing to figure out, but you can apparently look at his assets.

00:17:07.000 He's not releasing his numbers.

00:17:08.000 And then you can look at how much it costs.

00:17:10.000 You can estimate what it would cost to run those based on employees and insurance and all that.

00:17:15.000 And then they have to, a lot of times, I think a lot of companies, I mean, certainly if they're public, but I don't know private, but there are Statements.

00:17:23.000 There are public tax statements. 1.00

00:17:26.000 Fucking poor Trump, man. 1.00

00:17:26.000 Struggle is real. 1.00

00:17:27.000 You say only 200 mil?

00:17:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:30.000 Fucking A. But I don't know. 0.99

00:17:32.000 Yeah, I just think we don't know, so we probably should be throwing numbers around. 1.00

00:17:36.000 Either way, he's rich as fuck. 0.99

00:17:38.000 You know what's hilarious, man? 1.00

00:17:39.000 I watched a little bit of the Democrat debate.

00:17:41.000 I usually don't like debates.

00:17:43.000 But Bernie Sanders sent it home.

00:17:47.000 Sent it home on Hillary Clinton. 1.00

00:17:50.000 Dude, there's some shit that she just couldn't say nothing about. 0.99

00:17:53.000 When they were talking about the pharmaceutical industries and the banking industry, the banking industry in particular, he was talking about That's what it was. 0.99

00:17:59.000 He was talking about the speeches that she gives for hundreds of thousands of dollars.

00:18:04.000 And then he's talking about how many...

00:18:06.000 Why can't we get the transcripts from these speeches? 0.98

00:18:10.000 What an amazing speech it must have been to be worth $250,000 or whatever the fuck it was. 1.00

00:18:16.000 Damn, son. 1.00

00:18:17.000 And Hillary was nervous as fuck. 1.00

00:18:19.000 She threw a cough drop in her mouth. 1.00

00:18:21.000 She's sweating and like half fake smiling.

00:18:24.000 She can't say anything.

00:18:25.000 He's like, you can read the transcripts of all the times I've performed and did speeches in front of the banking industry because there are none! 1.00

00:18:35.000 Damn, son. 0.99

00:18:35.000 This is a guy who took his vacation with his wife in the Soviet Union. 0.99

00:18:39.000 Yeah, he's an interesting guy.

00:18:41.000 He's a very interesting guy.

00:18:42.000 There's a site I tweeted out last night.

00:18:44.000 It's called isidewith.com.

00:18:47.000 I'm not too into politics.

00:18:49.000 We go to this, and they have all the major issues, and you click multiple choice, what you think is major, and it goes through all of them.

00:18:56.000 And then it says who you most likely should vote for.

00:18:59.000 It gives you a percentage.

00:19:00.000 It's pretty dope.

00:19:00.000 Well, see, my feeling about Hillary is she seems like business as usual.

00:19:05.000 Yeah, I agree.

00:19:06.000 Whether she would be good or not, she's 100% business as usual.

00:19:09.000 She's a politician, yeah. 1.00

00:19:10.000 And I think that is the last shit this country needs right now, is this same system. 0.99

00:19:14.000 So you're trying to bring in Trump? 0.99

00:19:15.000 I would bring in Bernie or Trump before I'd bring in Hillary. 0.83

00:19:18.000 Although, I'd bring in Bernie.

00:19:20.000 I'd bring in Bernie. 0.98

00:19:21.000 Because I think that he would shake shit up culturally. 0.96

00:19:25.000 I don't know if that's the best thing, though. 0.98

00:19:27.000 See, but here's the thing.

00:19:28.000 He can't do that.

00:19:29.000 He can't really pass all that.

00:19:31.000 You need Congress.

00:19:32.000 There's a lot of steps.

00:19:33.000 And the idea of what he's trying to tax, socialism, it's kind of crazy.

00:19:41.000 It defies human nature.

00:19:43.000 Because human nature, when you give people a way to not have to work for things, they do.

00:19:47.000 And there's some people that fall upon hard times.

00:19:50.000 There's some people that get a bad break, a bum steer in life. 1.00

00:19:53.000 There's a bunch of people that are doing poorly that it's not their fault. 0.99

00:19:57.000 But there's also a bunch of people that are just fucking lazy. 0.98

00:19:59.000 That's probably the majority, wouldn't you say? 0.99

00:20:01.000 I don't know.

00:20:01.000 I don't know what the numbers are.

00:20:02.000 I've never examined them.

00:20:03.000 The bottom line is you don't want to penalize people that produce.

00:20:06.000 Yes, exactly.

00:20:06.000 And you don't want to tax people that produce who also create wealth.

00:20:10.000 You don't want to tax them 75% the way France under Hollande is trying to do and has done.

00:20:16.000 It just doesn't work out because people that produce will stop producing.

00:20:20.000 If I have to work 75% of my day for someone else, for the greater good...

00:20:23.000 Hell no.

00:20:24.000 We've seen how that works in...

00:20:26.000 Just pick up a history book.

00:20:27.000 It doesn't work that well.

00:20:29.000 How old is Bernie? 1.00

00:20:30.000 He's old as fuck. 1.00

00:20:31.000 His ass ain't gonna make it very long. 1.00

00:20:32.000 He's officially old as fuck. 1.00

00:20:33.000 I think the bigger question should always be, rather than Bernie, or just ask yourself to what percentage. 0.99

00:20:38.000 What percentage are you willing to give your power and your money?

00:20:42.000 Like, is it 50%? 0.77

00:20:44.000 Dude, I'm telling you, you go to this site, for me, I have no fucking investment in this site, but you go to this site and it literally breaks it down.

00:20:51.000 It's a lot of stuff I didn't know about.

00:20:52.000 It breaks down very simple, and you're just multiple choice, and it shows, boom, this is who believes in the way you do, and this is who you should vote for.

00:20:59.000 So who believes in the way you do? 1.00

00:21:01.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

00:21:02.000 The one I would never think. 1.00

00:21:03.000 Hillary Clinton.

00:21:04.000 See, but here's the thing.

00:21:06.000 She's a centrist.

00:21:06.000 You can't tell what she really believes in.

00:21:09.000 That's right.

00:21:09.000 What's the way she would vote?

00:21:11.000 Did you say what she said about Nancy Reagan and Ronald Reagan?

00:21:14.000 Mm-mm. 1.00

00:21:16.000 Fucking liberals are abandoning her now. 1.00

00:21:18.000 Because she was trying to say that Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan opened up the conversation about AIDS during the 80s. 1.00

00:21:24.000 That is total bullshit. 1.00

00:21:26.000 Not only is it total bullshit, Silence is Death is like a campaign because they weren't talking about it. 1.00

00:21:31.000 They wouldn't talk about AIDS for fucking years. 1.00

00:21:34.000 Yeah, it's trouble. 1.00

00:21:34.000 For like two years. 1.00

00:21:35.000 I remember it very well.

00:21:36.000 And that wasn't a good administration just because Nancy died.

00:21:40.000 Yeah, she died and I bet she was a nice lady. 1.00

00:21:43.000 You know, she was really in astrology and she was married to a president.

00:21:46.000 That's it.

00:21:47.000 We're done here. 0.99

00:21:48.000 You don't have to lie about them opening up some sort of a fucking dialogue with this country about AIDS. That's just not what they did. 0.99

00:21:55.000 Hillary's biggest liability is that people don't trust her. 1.00

00:21:58.000 She's just not likable. 1.00

00:21:59.000 Based on her history.

00:22:00.000 That was another thing in the debate.

00:22:02.000 They said 37%.

00:22:04.000 Yeah.

00:22:04.000 That is insanely low.

00:22:06.000 She's behaved in a corrupt way. 0.97

00:22:07.000 Trust her.

00:22:08.000 Only 37% trust her.

00:22:10.000 Women don't trust her. 1.00

00:22:12.000 Women trust her less. 1.00

00:22:14.000 That's so crazy.

00:22:15.000 She needs a stylist. 1.00

00:22:16.000 But here's the biggest thing.

00:22:19.000 All of them do.

00:22:19.000 If she is more like Obama, if you look at the past six years, the economy right now is not doing terribly.

00:22:27.000 And this is a guy who believes probably I'm a little bit more to the right, at least fiscally, than someone like Obama.

00:22:33.000 But I have to say that, you know, I was preaching about how, you know, under Obama, if you look at his policies, the government's going to grow.

00:22:39.000 The government, because of a lot of factors, it's not just Obama, but If you look at a lot of measures for how government has grown, it's kind of stayed exactly flatlined in the past six years.

00:22:49.000 It hasn't grown.

00:22:50.000 A lot of that's because we don't have as big a tax base and things like that.

00:22:53.000 But there are a lot of factors that go into it.

00:22:55.000 But you know what?

00:22:56.000 In six years, it's not like the economy is a disaster.

00:23:00.000 By a lot of measures, the economy is doing really well.

00:23:03.000 So that's hard for conservatives to argue with.

00:23:06.000 Right.

00:23:07.000 But let me just...

00:23:09.000 What's the word?

00:23:10.000 Blind allegiance? 0.76

00:23:11.000 No.

00:23:13.000 Devil's advocate.

00:23:14.000 Blind allegiance popped into my head.

00:23:15.000 I'm like, why is that word?

00:23:16.000 I don't know.

00:23:17.000 Awesome word, though.

00:23:18.000 That's the wrong one.

00:23:19.000 But if you look at it from a Republican point of view, one thing that could be easily argued is there's a common cycle of recession and financial gain.

00:23:28.000 It happens.

00:23:29.000 Yeah.

00:23:29.000 And this is exactly what happens after a downfall.

00:23:32.000 So the downfall of our economy in 2008, I don't know shit about finance, but I've read a bunch of stuff that people do know shit about, and these cycles are reoccurring cycles.

00:23:42.000 As long as the republic stays up, and it's still up and running, it goes down, it crashes, people readjust, some people find their way, some people lose their way, some people jump off buildings, and then it builds back up again.

00:23:55.000 And that's what's going on right now.

00:23:57.000 So that's one of the things that they argued about Clinton's era.

00:23:59.000 They were saying, well, you could say that Bill Clinton was responsible for all that, but all the signs seemed to indicate that the cycle was moving in that direction anyway.

00:24:09.000 It was just that trend no matter who was there.

00:24:11.000 The president doesn't have... 0.99

00:24:12.000 I'm talking out of my ass for sure, and I don't know it exactly. 0.99

00:24:15.000 No, no, but... 0.99

00:24:16.000 If Trump wins, is there going to be chaos? 0.99

00:24:20.000 Black people are already freaking the fuck out that he's this close. 0.99

00:24:26.000 People are rushing the stage. 1.00

00:24:29.000 The numbers don't add up for Trump.

00:24:31.000 He doesn't have women, he doesn't have minorities. 0.99

00:24:33.000 Brian, I don't think you're right.

00:24:35.000 You'll see.

00:24:36.000 But look, you can't say you'll see because you don't really know.

00:24:40.000 No, I do know.

00:24:41.000 Trump will get the nomination.

00:24:42.000 Okay, but all I'm saying is you don't really know, and the problem is it's real possible.

00:24:49.000 It's real possible.

00:24:50.000 And just the idea that we got this far.

00:24:52.000 It's insane.

00:24:54.000 A lot of Republicans would tell you that the Republicans, once again, because they're not unified, have committed political suicide.

00:25:01.000 The pundits that I've listened to will basically look at these hard numbers and say, you know, the people that you see supporting Trump, yeah, Trump has won, but for the most part, the popular vote isn't there for him at the end of the day.

00:25:16.000 It's going to go to Hillary. 0.92

00:25:18.000 We'll see, son.

00:25:19.000 I don't think so.

00:25:20.000 We'll see.

00:25:21.000 Yeah, we will see.

00:25:22.000 I think here's the problem.

00:25:24.000 He hasn't even started to attack her yet.

00:25:27.000 And he's going to attack on Benghazi.

00:25:29.000 She could be indicted.

00:25:31.000 That's the other thing.

00:25:31.000 On two different cases, man.

00:25:33.000 So what happens if she's indicted?

00:25:34.000 It's a big issue.

00:25:35.000 Do you know about the guy who was the computer analyst that put together her email server? 0.99

00:25:42.000 Fucking tell him, Joe. 0.99

00:25:43.000 He's got immunity. 1.00

00:25:43.000 He just got immunity against prosecution, apparently. 1.00

00:25:47.000 So he can...

00:25:48.000 I know.

00:25:49.000 So little about this, I shouldn't be able to say it.

00:25:51.000 I love this.

00:25:51.000 So then he's gonna squeal like a little piggy.

00:25:54.000 If he squeals like a little piggy, you got real problems.

00:25:56.000 But the idea of giving him immunity with the real...

00:25:58.000 I know I read that somewhere.

00:25:59.000 Make sure that it's correct, though.

00:26:00.000 Dude, she should just give him like 300 mil to go away. 0.90

00:26:02.000 She can't.

00:26:03.000 She doesn't have that kind of money. 1.00

00:26:04.000 No.

00:26:04.000 She makes good money, but I'm sure she's...

00:26:06.000 She spends it like a motherfucker. 1.00

00:26:07.000 Did you ever see the payouts per year from everyone? 1.00

00:26:10.000 They get insane amounts of money.

00:26:11.000 Not really.

00:26:12.000 Just her and Trump.

00:26:13.000 Her speaking money is off the charts.

00:26:16.000 What does it say?

00:26:18.000 Scroll down, please.

00:26:19.000 Justice Department grants immunity to staffer who set up Clinton email server.

00:26:23.000 Yes, it's true.

00:26:24.000 So what that means is, if they did that, that means that they're thinking about a case.

00:26:29.000 And they're probably planning a case. 0.95

00:26:31.000 And if this guy gave up immunity, that means he's got some serious fucking information to get a bigger fish. 0.96

00:26:36.000 Who's the bigger fish? 0.99

00:26:38.000 Hillary Clinton.

00:26:39.000 I just don't like that.

00:26:40.000 I think it's just crazy because the choices are so poor.

00:26:44.000 That's terrible. 1.00

00:26:45.000 Well, because the smart people in America are saying, fuck that job. 1.00

00:26:47.000 I don't mind Bernie Sanders. 1.00

00:26:49.000 I'm telling you, I would almost be willing to give up more money.

00:26:52.000 He's too old.

00:26:53.000 Here's the problem that I have with the giving up more money, though, is that you're giving up more money to the government.

00:26:58.000 And I don't trust the government.

00:26:59.000 That's all.

00:27:00.000 If I could give up money...

00:27:02.000 Here's the thing.

00:27:03.000 If you could have mandated charity for really wealthy people where you could give to...

00:27:08.000 That makes sense.

00:27:09.000 I like to give to something like Justin Renz, Fight for the Forgotten.

00:27:13.000 That's a no-brainer.

00:27:14.000 I give to that one because I know exactly where the money's going.

00:27:16.000 That's a beautiful one.

00:27:17.000 Exactly.

00:27:17.000 But if you could get a bunch of good ones, like a good...

00:27:22.000 Yeah.

00:27:23.000 The problem is so much of that money goes to running the machine that's supposed to dole out the money.

00:27:30.000 It's huge.

00:27:30.000 Recruiting Red Cross, by the way.

00:27:32.000 If you guys look online, there's a few websites that detail what percentage of your dollar actually goes to the charity.

00:27:40.000 It's crazy.

00:27:41.000 Really?

00:27:41.000 Listen, at one point, at one point, the United Way, at one point, I remember they had a special on it, one cent of every dollar was actually going to the charity.

00:27:50.000 The 99 cents was going to running the actual company.

00:27:54.000 Not only that, but like high-salaried CEOs, like the whole deal, it becomes a corporation.

00:27:59.000 Look at the Wounded Warrior Project.

00:28:01.000 Do you see that?

00:28:01.000 No, what?

00:28:02.000 I was just rocking their hat the other day.

00:28:04.000 That was a huge controversy because the two guys running it were making a million dollars a year and they were spending on lavish vacations and lavish conferences and stuff.

00:28:14.000 Is that true?

00:28:15.000 They were making a million dollars a year?

00:28:17.000 Yeah, both of them. 0.99

00:28:18.000 You want to talk about the wrong people to fuck over like that? 0.99

00:28:22.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:28:22.000 But to be fair to those guys, but to be fair to the people running the Wounded Warrior Project, human beings, if you're working for a very big company and you make, 0.98

00:28:40.000 I think they made over $300 million in donations in one year, they had a huge endowment, It's when you're working all day, and I'm sure these guys are good people who are working probably 12 hours a day, you're going to put a first-class ticket.

00:28:55.000 It might be a red-eye. 1.00

00:28:56.000 I've got to sleep.

00:28:57.000 I'm doing all this work.

00:28:58.000 I'm going to spend $500 as opposed to $300.

00:29:01.000 And it just adds up.

00:29:03.000 And what happens is, if you're doing a lot of work and you're really good at it, they might say, hey, you're worth it.

00:29:07.000 We're going to give you a million dollars because a board votes that in.

00:29:10.000 So what I'm saying is that when you have that much money...

00:29:12.000 Corruption is going to happen.

00:29:14.000 Before you give them a free pass, we should probably know how they got to that number.

00:29:17.000 I agree.

00:29:17.000 All I'm saying is anytime you have a lot of money, it's going to be spent and there's not enough accountability.

00:29:24.000 Human beings are going to behave in that way.

00:29:27.000 It's anonymous.

00:29:28.000 You're getting more money.

00:29:30.000 We're all doing a good job here.

00:29:32.000 We deserve something.

00:29:34.000 The biggest illusion is that people with money are happier.

00:29:38.000 It might be the biggest illusion that exists in the world today.

00:29:41.000 Yes.

00:29:42.000 Because everybody really wants to be happy, but we really want to figure out how to get happy.

00:29:47.000 And the one thing that we can't figure out how to do is pay the bills. 0.98

00:29:50.000 So we're like, fuck, if I could just pay my bills, I'd be happy. 0.98

00:29:53.000 Like that is like one of the prevailing illusions. 0.99

00:29:57.000 Well, there's a certain point where you make enough money where the bills are taken care of, which you're going to be happy and not stressed out about, but then you move on.

00:30:04.000 Yes, it's going to help, but it's not the answer to everything.

00:30:06.000 Yeah, it's not the answer to everything.

00:30:07.000 Not at all, man. 0.99

00:30:07.000 It certainly makes you happier to not have to pay your bills, but how many people do we know that are super successful, multi-millionaires, out of their fucking mind, miserable? 0.99

00:30:18.000 The richest people I know are the most miserable. 0.99

00:30:20.000 Okay. 0.99

00:30:20.000 Dude, easily. 0.99

00:30:21.000 I did a little inventory on the times that I think about, that bring a smile to my face, the times that I remember being the happiest.

00:30:28.000 Gay stuff? 1.00

00:30:28.000 It's almost always when I'm behind a dumpster with a strong guy, very dark with a cowboy hat on. 1.00

00:30:33.000 Hairy guys or shaved? 0.98

00:30:33.000 No, black. 0.98

00:30:34.000 Black is night. 0.98

00:30:36.000 Black and very tall. 1.00

00:30:37.000 Black hairy guys are probably the scariest. 1.00

00:30:39.000 Oh, it's even better. 0.99

00:30:40.000 I don't think I've ever seen a black hairy guy.

00:30:42.000 Well, you haven't hung out with me.

00:30:43.000 Yeah, I've seen, like, their chest hair is more of, like, curly.

00:30:47.000 It's like taco meat.

00:30:49.000 Hey, man.

00:30:50.000 It's like taco meat.

00:30:51.000 Excuse me?

00:30:52.000 Is that racist?

00:30:53.000 No, because it's a Mexican food.

00:30:54.000 It's okay.

00:30:55.000 Go to blackandhairy.com.

00:30:56.000 But if you said chicken meat, that would be a problem.

00:30:58.000 Now you're in trouble.

00:30:59.000 That's a problem.

00:30:59.000 You can't say chicken, even though chicken's delicious.

00:31:02.000 Super delicious.

00:31:02.000 Can you say Thai chicken?

00:31:05.000 It's Thai chicken. 0.98

00:31:06.000 Can you say black people might like Thai chicken or will you get in trouble? 0.97

00:31:09.000 I don't know. 0.98

00:31:10.000 I would change the subject right now. 1.00

00:31:11.000 As soon as you toss watermelon there, we're all fucked. 0.99

00:31:14.000 Oh, you didn't say watermelon. 0.99

00:31:15.000 Hey man, what did you say about changing the cup?

00:31:16.000 I love watermelon.

00:31:17.000 Listen, that's a delicious fruit.

00:31:18.000 You shouldn't bring it up.

00:31:20.000 It's really dangerous.

00:31:21.000 Yeah.

00:31:21.000 It is dangerous.

00:31:21.000 Delicious, amazing food.

00:31:22.000 Back to me and black guys. 1.00

00:31:23.000 I've never seen a hairy black guy. 0.99

00:31:25.000 Back to being happy. 0.99

00:31:25.000 I've definitely seen hairy black guys before. 0.99

00:31:27.000 Yeah, but it's less common. 0.86

00:31:30.000 Well, not like Russian dudes, like that dude that's entering Abu Dhabi.

00:31:33.000 Do you know that guy?

00:31:34.000 Is he in Eddie Bravo's?

00:31:35.000 The Eddie Bravo Open?

00:31:37.000 Is that the new EBR, the one that's in April? 0.99

00:31:39.000 Is that who that crazy giant fucking Russian dude is? 1.00

00:31:42.000 Those Russians grow some hair. 1.00

00:31:44.000 Orlowski has to get his shit faded. 0.99

00:31:46.000 His shoulders, it was a nice blend. 0.99

00:31:48.000 I remember when I was fighting him at the Wayans, I was like, oh shit, I like the shade you got on the shoulders. 0.94

00:31:52.000 It was like a one to two guard on his shoulders. 0.99

00:31:55.000 Really?

00:31:55.000 Just like a fade.

00:31:56.000 That's so funny.

00:31:57.000 He's hairy. 1.00

00:31:58.000 Yeah, he's a hairy fuck. 1.00

00:31:59.000 He was really hairy when he was young, too, before he took care of it. 1.00

00:32:02.000 Do you know who's the hairiest motherfucker in all of MMA? Gonzaga? 0.99

00:32:06.000 Dave Herman. 1.00

00:32:07.000 You ever see Dave Herman when Dave Herman grew that shit out? 1.00

00:32:10.000 Oh, his beard was nuts. 1.00

00:32:11.000 No, I'm talking about his whole body. 0.94

00:32:13.000 No. 1.00

00:32:14.000 Dude, dude, Dave Herman is a fucking Sasquatch. 1.00

00:32:17.000 By the way, he's in trouble right now, man. 0.99

00:32:19.000 I was gonna say, is he still alive? 1.00

00:32:21.000 That fucking dude's doing nuts. 1.00

00:32:22.000 He's nuts. 1.00

00:32:23.000 There's a video that they released of him getting fucked up by cops, man. 1.00

00:32:27.000 Aw, man. 0.99

00:32:28.000 Yeah, it was like one of those things where the cop told him to get back in the car.

00:32:31.000 He's like, why do I have to get back in the car?

00:32:32.000 I told you to get back.

00:32:33.000 It's one of those things where there's an unnecessary altercation between a person and the cop.

00:32:38.000 Then egos come in. 0.62

00:32:39.000 Exactly. 0.99

00:32:39.000 They start fucking him up. 0.99

00:32:40.000 And he's a giant. 0.99

00:32:41.000 He's very tall.

00:32:42.000 Dave Herman's gigantic.

00:32:43.000 Dude, I was in the back with him in a corner.

00:32:46.000 Literally, maybe hit mitts for two minutes, and then he's playing a Game Boy, like old-school Tetris Game Boy.

00:32:51.000 It was like two years ago.

00:32:52.000 They go, Dave, you're up.

00:32:54.000 He goes, now?

00:32:55.000 They go, yeah.

00:32:56.000 Puts it down, just rolls out there.

00:32:57.000 And fights.

00:32:58.000 Gonzaga? 1.00

00:32:58.000 Is that what you fuck Gonzaga? 1.00

00:32:59.000 I think so, man. 1.00

00:33:00.000 He got KO'd in one round.

00:33:02.000 Whoa! 1.00

00:33:02.000 Oh, shit! 1.00

00:33:03.000 That's what he looks like. 1.00

00:33:04.000 He's got a good body, though.

00:33:04.000 He's a good-looking dude.

00:33:05.000 Oh, he's shredded. 1.00

00:33:06.000 He's got a set of tits on him. 1.00

00:33:07.000 He's got some tits. 1.00

00:33:08.000 He was a talented fuck, too, man. 1.00

00:33:09.000 He just, for whatever reason... 1.00

00:33:11.000 He was big.

00:33:11.000 He was never disciplined.

00:33:12.000 Yeah, he didn't totally put it together.

00:33:14.000 We had that same trainer, the same striking coach, and he was saying, like, he'd be like, dude, you gotta come in and train. 1.00

00:33:19.000 How hairy that motherfucker is. 1.00

00:33:20.000 Seriously. 1.00

00:33:21.000 Such a beast, man.

00:33:22.000 So, yeah. 0.67

00:33:24.000 My dad makes that guy look like a girl. 0.92

00:33:27.000 Okay.

00:33:28.000 Weird dad stuff comes up again. 1.00

00:33:29.000 That guy would slap your dad's face so fucking hard. 0.99

00:33:32.000 I'm just kind of quiet after I talk about my dad. 1.00

00:33:35.000 He'd probably smash your dad.

00:33:36.000 I hate to say it. 0.95

00:33:37.000 No, you don't know.

00:33:38.000 You don't know, bro.

00:33:39.000 Most likely.

00:33:40.000 You don't know.

00:33:41.000 They've heard so much talent though, man. 0.97

00:33:43.000 Remember before you got the UFC, he was like 20 and 1, just smashing bitches in Japan. 1.00

00:33:47.000 He beat some good names, too.

00:33:48.000 Really good names, man.

00:33:49.000 Who did he beat?

00:33:51.000 Oh man, the Dave Herman days.

00:33:54.000 Once he did get to the UFC, he had that crazy bout with the Abu Dhabi champ.

00:33:59.000 Remember that really big guy?

00:34:01.000 Remember the huge dude?

00:34:02.000 Not Fabiano Shermer.

00:34:03.000 No.

00:34:05.000 Who was it?

00:34:06.000 Really big Abu Dhabi.

00:34:08.000 Yeah, and he's from the Netherlands.

00:34:09.000 Huge.

00:34:10.000 Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 1.00

00:34:12.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:34:13.000 Damn it. 1.00

00:34:14.000 I was supposed to fight him, too. 1.00

00:34:15.000 It's the only fight I've ever turned down.

00:34:16.000 I remember that, dude.

00:34:17.000 Why'd he turn down?

00:34:17.000 What the hell is his name?

00:34:18.000 Because he was a big enough name.

00:34:19.000 Didn't that guy beat Fabrizio Verdum in a jiu-jitsu match?

00:34:22.000 Yes, in jiu-jitsu.

00:34:22.000 Romero is huge.

00:34:23.000 Yeah, pull up Dave Herman's...

00:34:25.000 Him and Dave had a fight of the night. 0.99

00:34:27.000 He was a serious fucking... 0.99

00:34:28.000 He had a fight of the night. 1.00

00:34:29.000 Serious...

00:34:30.000 John Olive Inamo.

00:34:31.000 Yes!

00:34:31.000 I remembered it before I saw it.

00:34:33.000 Bam. 0.91

00:34:34.000 Yeah, John Olive Inamo is a serious fucking jujitsu phenom, but for whatever reason, it didn't really pan out in MMA for him. 0.98

00:34:41.000 He was fucking huge, and he was also a lot older by the time he got there. 0.94

00:34:45.000 Click on John Olive Inamo's... 0.98

00:34:47.000 Yeah, and it was right about the time they were testing for real.

00:34:51.000 He lost to Mike Russo.

00:34:53.000 He lost to Dave Herman.

00:34:54.000 He beat James Thompson.

00:34:57.000 When I saw him, though, he was 30. Because when I saw him, he was in 2003 in Brazil.

00:35:05.000 So I guess he was in his 20s at the time.

00:35:07.000 He was a beast on Jiu-Jitsu.

00:35:08.000 He was wrecking people.

00:35:09.000 Well, it was also confusing for everybody because he came out of nowhere.

00:35:12.000 Because this guy was a European guy.

00:35:15.000 And all of a sudden, he's beating Brazilians. 0.73

00:35:17.000 He's beating a lot of top guys.

00:35:20.000 He was, like, right around the time when Gunnar Nelson was wrecking people, too.

00:35:23.000 Everybody found out about Gunnar.

00:35:25.000 That's the only fight I've ever turned down in my UFC career, ever.

00:35:27.000 It was after I lost to Noguera.

00:35:29.000 I wanted another big fight, and, like, months went by, and they offered me him.

00:35:33.000 I knew him from jiu-jitsu, but I had no idea about him from MMA. I was like, get the fuck out of here. 0.93

00:35:38.000 And then Joseph was like, oh, yeah? 0.98

00:35:40.000 Cool, here's Ben Rothwell.

00:35:41.000 All right, let's do that.

00:35:43.000 Wow.

00:35:44.000 Advisors.

00:35:45.000 Yeah.

00:35:45.000 They're worth something.

00:35:46.000 My manager's like, hey, man, yeah, let's do that.

00:35:49.000 Whew.

00:35:50.000 Ben and Rothwell.

00:35:51.000 You should call that guy up in the middle of the night.

00:35:52.000 Hey, man.

00:35:53.000 Remember that Rothwell fight that you let me take?

00:35:55.000 Hey, bro.

00:35:56.000 Thanks for that, man.

00:35:58.000 Give me some time to adjust.

00:36:00.000 I know, right?

00:36:01.000 That's not the game, my man.

00:36:02.000 So what kind of tattoo are you talking about when you hit 10 million?

00:36:05.000 Just go and get that panther down your neck. 0.86

00:36:07.000 You should definitely get something on your neck. 0.99

00:36:09.000 Maybe like a kiss. 0.67

00:36:10.000 Maybe like a lips, like a lip kiss.

00:36:12.000 Oh, that'd be sick.

00:36:14.000 Like a realistic one. 0.97

00:36:15.000 Get your wife to kiss you. 0.97

00:36:16.000 I like that.

00:36:17.000 I like that tentacles.

00:36:19.000 Yeah, now you're talking nonsense.

00:36:20.000 Yeah, you don't have time to get that.

00:36:22.000 That's going to be hours.

00:36:24.000 That's 40, 50 hours.

00:36:25.000 Yeah, that's many days.

00:36:26.000 Yeah.

00:36:26.000 That's five or six days.

00:36:28.000 And you have to take time, like that.

00:36:29.000 Like Kenyon Martin?

00:36:30.000 You get your wife to kiss you on the neck. 0.91

00:36:32.000 100% no to that, of course.

00:36:34.000 Why?

00:36:35.000 How dare you?

00:36:36.000 How about if you get one right above your beanbag?

00:36:38.000 Oh, my beanbag. 1.00

00:36:40.000 My fucking beanbag. 1.00

00:36:42.000 Right above it. 1.00

00:36:43.000 I hold my dick up while they get, I want it, right above my beanbag, I'm going to hold my dick up, and you just tattoo another set of balls. 1.00

00:36:50.000 People do get their dicks, they do get their dicks tattooed. 1.00

00:36:53.000 Yes, they do. 0.99

00:36:53.000 I've been thinking about doing it. 0.99

00:36:55.000 No, fuck off. 1.00

00:36:55.000 I want to make it sparkly. 1.00

00:36:57.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:59.000 It doesn't sparkle enough. 1.00

00:37:01.000 If you were going to get your dick tattooed, what would you do? 1.00

00:37:03.000 Elephant ears. 1.00

00:37:04.000 Barnacles.

00:37:05.000 Barnacles or warts.

00:37:06.000 Elephant ears.

00:37:06.000 I think you mean make it black.

00:37:08.000 That's what you mean, right?

00:37:09.000 Of course I do.

00:37:10.000 That's what you mean.

00:37:11.000 I'd sleeve it out in dark ink.

00:37:12.000 Yeah.

00:37:13.000 If you could possibly be.

00:37:14.000 Has any guy ever done that?

00:37:16.000 Because I know guys get their entire forearms black.

00:37:19.000 Have you ever seen that? 0.58

00:37:19.000 White guys will do that. 0.58

00:37:21.000 It's really weird.

00:37:22.000 It's like they have one color.

00:37:24.000 It's a one color tattoo. 0.98

00:37:26.000 And I always wondered if there's a cover-up, like they maybe had some shitty tattoos. 0.90

00:37:29.000 I always knew it as a cover-up.

00:37:32.000 Like it was a real bad tattoo, like maybe a girl or something, so then they just black it all out because you can't cover it up.

00:37:37.000 There was a famous dude who had that in a band.

00:37:40.000 What band was that?

00:37:41.000 Rage Against the Machine?

00:37:43.000 Yes, that's right. 0.51

00:37:44.000 That dude, his whole arms was like all black. 1.00

00:37:46.000 Well, a lot of times, don't like recovering addicts get like the black band and they do how many years and then just go all black? 0.78

00:37:52.000 Go all the way up to your ankles. 1.00

00:37:53.000 Yeah, do that shit. 1.00

00:37:54.000 I want something on my back, like right at the top of my back. 1.00

00:37:58.000 Chakras. 1.00

00:37:58.000 You should have your chakras. 1.00

00:38:00.000 Yes.

00:38:01.000 Aw, chakras. 1.00

00:38:03.000 Yeah, look at this dude.

00:38:03.000 And I want something over my root chakra.

00:38:05.000 See, that looks badass.

00:38:06.000 That's very odd.

00:38:07.000 Take forever.

00:38:08.000 He's in shape, too.

00:38:09.000 Kid's in shape.

00:38:10.000 Who is that guy?

00:38:11.000 He's from Rage.

00:38:12.000 Dude, that looks pretty sweet.

00:38:13.000 What's his name, Jamie?

00:38:14.000 Tim C. Tim C. He doesn't have a name.

00:38:17.000 That's a badass tattoo, man.

00:38:18.000 Yeah, I like those.

00:38:19.000 What are those things?

00:38:21.000 That's from like some Japanese symbol.

00:38:23.000 Talking about the tadpoles in the middle?

00:38:25.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:38:25.000 Is that cum? 0.97

00:38:26.000 Is that all cum? 0.97

00:38:27.000 Probably. 0.96

00:38:28.000 Cyclone.

00:38:28.000 It's called cum.

00:38:29.000 I would get that. 0.99

00:38:30.000 Cum in a tornado. 0.99

00:38:31.000 I'd have to shave my chest and my arms, but I'd do it. 1.00

00:38:33.000 That's what happens when you cum into a garbage disposal and you hit the button. 1.00

00:38:35.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:38:36.000 It's like a symbol of it. 1.00

00:38:38.000 Hey, man.

00:38:39.000 Dude, he looks sweet.

00:38:40.000 I'm not mad at that at all.

00:38:41.000 That might be the best one I've seen, though.

00:38:43.000 They all don't look like that, though.

00:38:44.000 He didn't go too deep.

00:38:46.000 He went like a half sleeve down to the bottom of his bicep.

00:38:51.000 It's pretty cool.

00:38:51.000 I like that.

00:38:52.000 It's like he's always wearing armor.

00:38:53.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:38:55.000 Maybe I'll get two six-shooters on my hips, you guys.

00:38:58.000 Don't do that.

00:38:58.000 Why?

00:38:58.000 Maybe we'll just get one tucked in your lower back, pointing towards your asshole.

00:39:02.000 Oh, that'd be sick. 1.00

00:39:03.000 How about just an arrow?

00:39:04.000 Fun starts here.

00:39:06.000 Who are these people that get guns? 1.00

00:39:08.000 A lot of fighters do. 0.97

00:39:10.000 Porn stars, porn dudes. 1.00

00:39:11.000 Yeah, pointing down towards their dick. 1.00

00:39:12.000 Dude, I'll tell you who has the best tattoos in the game as far as girls. 1.00

00:39:15.000 Well, excuse me, sir, your cheeks are tatted.

00:39:18.000 This man needs to hit a gym occasionally.

00:39:20.000 Yeah, I don't like his body.

00:39:21.000 Can't have the dad bod and get all those tattoos.

00:39:23.000 Yeah, if you're going to work on a tattoo, your body's going to be sleeved out like that.

00:39:26.000 That's not even a dad bod. 1.00

00:39:27.000 That's a good luck, getting a woman to fuck you so you can become a dad bod. 1.00

00:39:30.000 Yeah, it's a vegan body. 1.00

00:39:32.000 How dare you.

00:39:33.000 Sorry, everybody.

00:39:34.000 How dare you.

00:39:34.000 How dare you start it.

00:39:35.000 Now I'm going to get a bunch of pictures of vegans who are shredded.

00:39:37.000 They're going to be very angry at you.

00:39:39.000 Dude, you know the girl who has the sexiest tats to me? 1.00

00:39:42.000 Christy Mack.

00:39:43.000 She's got some good ones.

00:39:44.000 Can I see? 1.00

00:39:46.000 She's hot as fuck. 1.00

00:39:46.000 That bitch is so bad. 1.00

00:39:48.000 She was in here with War Machine before War Machine beat the fuck out of her. 1.00

00:39:51.000 Before he tried to kill her? 0.98

00:39:52.000 I listened to some of that podcast.

00:39:54.000 She came here with him.

00:39:55.000 She hung out.

00:39:56.000 She took a nap on the couch out there.

00:39:57.000 She dropped dead gorgeous in person too.

00:39:58.000 She's very pretty.

00:39:59.000 She's tiny, man.

00:40:01.000 She's a tiny girl. 1.00

00:40:03.000 You hear all the shit that he did to her and it's horrific if it was just a chick. 1.00

00:40:10.000 He's in prison for life, right? 1.00

00:40:11.000 He's gone.

00:40:12.000 He's gone.

00:40:13.000 But when you see her in real life, she's so tiny.

00:40:17.000 You can't imagine.

00:40:18.000 Pretty in person though, huh?

00:40:19.000 She's beautiful.

00:40:20.000 You just can't imagine that a guy...

00:40:21.000 I like her with no hair. 1.00

00:40:22.000 Look at that picture.

00:40:23.000 Me too.

00:40:24.000 See that?

00:40:25.000 I like that for the same reason why I like... 0.93

00:40:28.000 Look at that picture below where Effie beat the fuck out of her in the hospital. 1.00

00:40:31.000 That's not what you're oh yes-ing. 0.99

00:40:33.000 Hell no.

00:40:34.000 I'm talking about the hot one.

00:40:35.000 You gotta clarify though.

00:40:35.000 People are listening to this.

00:40:36.000 Oh, sorry bro.

00:40:37.000 That's the yes one.

00:40:38.000 The beat up one I'm not trying to see. 1.00

00:40:41.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:40:41.000 He kicked the shit out of her legs. 1.00

00:40:43.000 He tried killing her man. 1.00

00:40:43.000 She got away. 1.00

00:40:44.000 Yeah, he was going to get a knife.

00:40:47.000 She escaped.

00:40:48.000 She's the hottest chick in the game for sure. 1.00

00:40:50.000 Well, she's definitely one of them. 0.99

00:40:51.000 Porno games? 0.98

00:40:52.000 She's very pretty.

00:40:53.000 But my point is, like, I can't imagine.

00:40:56.000 She's like a little kid.

00:40:57.000 She weighs like 100 pounds. 0.97

00:40:59.000 Really?

00:40:59.000 She's that small?

00:41:00.000 She's tiny, man. 1.00

00:41:01.000 She's fucking tiny. 1.00

00:41:02.000 I mean, she might weigh 110. Damn, so she's super tiny. 1.00

00:41:06.000 So War Machine, I mean, really fucked her up. 0.99

00:41:08.000 Yeah, I mean, I'm not that good at numbers, but she ain't a big girl. 1.00

00:41:13.000 She's like 5'1", maybe. 1.00

00:41:14.000 She's tiny.

00:41:15.000 Jesus. 1.00

00:41:16.000 You know, the idea that he beat the fuck out of her like that, it's just so crazy. 0.98

00:41:20.000 I listened to some of that podcast and he sounded... 0.93

00:41:22.000 Like, there's something about guys who talk real fast like that, you know, he's like, yeah, so for me, you know, it's like a...

00:41:27.000 Well, he's got a nerve, you gotta realize.

00:41:29.000 Was he nervous?

00:41:30.000 Oh, I'm sure.

00:41:31.000 You know, he's on a podcast, he knows a million people are gonna hear it.

00:41:34.000 Right.

00:41:34.000 I never think of that.

00:41:35.000 I never think of that.

00:41:36.000 But for some people, it's a big deal.

00:41:38.000 He's also a guy who did a lot of stuff.

00:41:40.000 Yeah, he's done a lot of steroids, for sure.

00:41:42.000 A lot of stuff.

00:41:43.000 A lot of stuff.

00:41:44.000 Had a lot of head trauma.

00:41:45.000 Yeah, a lot of head trauma.

00:41:46.000 The guy has some serious demons.

00:41:48.000 I've noticed with fighters, some fighters, that there is that Adderall-like...

00:41:54.000 Energy.

00:41:54.000 Mm-hmm.

00:41:55.000 Guys have been fighting for a long time.

00:41:56.000 That's from head trauma.

00:41:57.000 Yeah.

00:41:58.000 That's what it feels like.

00:41:59.000 Yeah, you got erratic behavior.

00:42:00.000 Breathing is a little bit erratic sometimes.

00:42:02.000 Also, they can't keep it together very long.

00:42:05.000 Mm-hmm.

00:42:05.000 They can't keep it together if something's boring.

00:42:07.000 They can't keep it together if something gets annoying to them.

00:42:12.000 They don't have a good way of staying calm.

00:42:15.000 Mm-hmm.

00:42:15.000 A lot of them, too.

00:42:17.000 A lot of them.

00:42:18.000 I'm one of them.

00:42:18.000 But a lot of them, on our podcast or personal conversations, they'll jump all over the board.

00:42:25.000 They will never finish a story or come back around.

00:42:28.000 They'll jump all over.

00:42:29.000 Well, when War Machine, he watched his dad die, right?

00:42:34.000 Wasn't that...

00:42:35.000 He had some super dark demons, man. 1.00

00:42:37.000 Some crazy shit happened. 1.00

00:42:38.000 He got arrested when he was really fucking young. 1.00

00:42:41.000 Cops beat the fuck out of him when he was like a teenager for nothing. 0.99

00:42:44.000 He tells a story and I tend to believe him, man. 0.99

00:42:49.000 I think that he's definitely made some fucking horrible choices in life, no doubt. 1.00

00:42:53.000 But I also think he got fucked. 1.00

00:42:56.000 Life fucked him. 1.00

00:42:57.000 He got a rough... 1.00

00:42:58.000 Life fucked him early. 1.00

00:42:59.000 Hand of cards. 1.00

00:43:00.000 Yep. 1.00

00:43:00.000 Fucked him and he was around a bunch of other people that also got fucked. 1.00

00:43:05.000 And it's real hard to discern what direction to go through in your life. 0.99

00:43:10.000 I mean, there's been a gang of people like that have gone in and out through the UFC that just don't know. 1.00

00:43:16.000 They've been surrounded with shitheads and psychos and fucking criminals their whole life. 1.00

00:43:22.000 They don't know peace and normalcy. 1.00

00:43:23.000 That's all they know. 1.00

00:43:24.000 You still can't try and kill a bitch, though. 1.00

00:43:26.000 So she's that pretty. 1.00

00:43:27.000 No, what he did was horrific.

00:43:29.000 Of course.

00:43:29.000 Horrific.

00:43:30.000 But that's also a breakdown of an ability to cope at all.

00:43:33.000 It sounds like he had bouts of madness.

00:43:36.000 You know, well, he came home.

00:43:37.000 He came over to her house.

00:43:38.000 He wasn't supposed to be there.

00:43:40.000 They were separated, though.

00:43:41.000 Yeah, he wasn't supposed to be there.

00:43:42.000 He came over to her house and she was with a guy. 0.99

00:43:44.000 She's a porn star. 1.00

00:43:45.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:46.000 Well, she's hot, too. 1.00

00:43:47.000 And guys want to fuck her. 1.00

00:43:48.000 If he's not fucking her, someone's going to want to fuck her. 1.00

00:43:50.000 Yeah, you're like adding sliding them DMs. 1.00

00:43:52.000 Because you come over, you're going to be real sad because I'm going to whoop your ass in front of the girl, too. 1.00

00:43:56.000 Yeah, I don't think you would have been running. 0.99

00:43:58.000 That would have been a bad situation.

00:43:59.000 Hell no! 0.93

00:44:00.000 Unless he had a knife.

00:44:02.000 I'm like, get her.

00:44:03.000 Well, he probably would have had a knife, too.

00:44:05.000 Apparently, it was just a total surprise.

00:44:08.000 He didn't expect the guy to be there. 0.56

00:44:09.000 And he just saw red and freaked the fuck out. 1.00

00:44:11.000 Well, he's fucking nuts. 1.00

00:44:12.000 He's also fucking crazy. 1.00

00:44:14.000 Yeah, he's nuts. 1.00

00:44:15.000 He's always been nuts. 0.99

00:44:16.000 But he's always been super cool and super friendly to me. 0.97

00:44:19.000 Me, too.

00:44:20.000 I mean, I knew he had gotten into crazy fights with a bunch of porn stars. 0.94

00:44:24.000 He beat the fuck out of someone, a bunch of people, like three or four people at some porn party. 0.99

00:44:29.000 Jesus. 0.99

00:44:29.000 Some dude, but dude's mouth off. 0.99

00:44:31.000 They say the wrong shit. 1.00

00:44:32.000 They fuck up. 1.00

00:44:34.000 Yeah, there's no repercussions. 1.00

00:44:35.000 They didn't come across a guy like that. 0.99

00:44:36.000 He's going to fuck your world up. 0.97

00:44:37.000 Anyways, can't be my friend, though. 0.98

00:44:39.000 No, no.

00:44:40.000 Can't be my friend.

00:44:40.000 Well, he can't be anybody's friend.

00:44:42.000 But he can't be my friend.

00:44:43.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:44:44.000 He can't be anybody's friend.

00:44:49.000 He can't be anybody's friend.

00:44:50.000 He's in jail forever.

00:44:52.000 He's going to make friends in there, though. 0.99

00:44:54.000 The point being, there's certain guys that will just always fuck up, it seems. 0.96

00:45:01.000 But they also... 0.99

00:45:02.000 It's self-sabotage, right? 0.92

00:45:03.000 Like, they get this shitty hand of cards in life, and they play this victim game. 0.95

00:45:07.000 It's like, I don't deserve any success. 0.60

00:45:10.000 So there's always kind of this...

00:45:11.000 You and I were talking about this.

00:45:13.000 I called Joe because I wanted to lend somebody money, and I just want to...

00:45:16.000 Sometimes, like, I think I have a lot of guilt because...

00:45:20.000 If you think about how some people grow up, they just never even had a chance.

00:45:24.000 It was just the math fell in my favor.

00:45:26.000 It didn't fall in there.

00:45:27.000 I had parents that loved me.

00:45:28.000 I had stability.

00:45:29.000 Some people had the exact opposite.

00:45:31.000 And then we were talking, and I was like, this guy I wanted to help, and it's just a disaster.

00:45:35.000 And I'm like, I want to give him money.

00:45:36.000 I want to help him.

00:45:37.000 But you get a sense that this guy I was talking about, he's always going to be that way.

00:45:41.000 Whether you give him 100 grand or 5 grand.

00:45:43.000 He's always going to be broke. 1.00

00:45:44.000 He's always going to be fucked. 0.99

00:45:45.000 I've loaned people money. 1.00

00:45:46.000 I know.

00:45:47.000 You know how many people have paid me back?

00:45:48.000 None.

00:45:48.000 Me too.

00:45:49.000 The thing is, did you tell me this?

00:45:52.000 Did you tell me this?

00:45:53.000 I've been lending people money.

00:45:55.000 If you lend someone money, just give it to them.

00:45:57.000 My father said that.

00:45:59.000 I've given it to people that are good friends.

00:46:00.000 I think both of you gave me that advice.

00:46:01.000 I've had good friends that have been in a financial crunch and I gave them money.

00:46:05.000 If it's a legit friend and I know it's a family member, I know it's gonna help them out, I work hard for a reason, so just take it.

00:46:13.000 It takes time to figure that out, though.

00:46:15.000 I didn't have any money most of my life, and then all of a sudden when I started having money and someone needed money, I looked at them as how I used to be.

00:46:23.000 I'm like, well, if I help this guy out, he'll get back on his feet and then he'll take care of it.

00:46:26.000 But none of them did.

00:46:28.000 Not only that, they start avoiding you, which is really weird.

00:46:31.000 Hey, Mike, you were supposed to pay me after three months.

00:46:36.000 It's now six months.

00:46:38.000 We have resentment.

00:46:38.000 It's the old saying, the fastest way to lose a friend is lend him money.

00:46:41.000 Oh, dude, man.

00:46:42.000 I've got a guy who's owed me money for so long that I just don't even bring it up anymore.

00:46:47.000 And he'll call me up and he'll give Like it's all good?

00:46:49.000 Every time we talk, he'll give me this song and dance, but he's about to pay me back.

00:46:53.000 Dude, he's owed me money for like 10 years.

00:46:55.000 I can't believe he's still your friend.

00:46:56.000 Well, he's not really.

00:46:57.000 We're acquaintances now.

00:46:58.000 We're acquaintances now.

00:47:00.000 But that sealed it.

00:47:02.000 It's a mindset.

00:47:04.000 A lot of times, my experience with that is that, yes, there are plenty of stories of people who needed money badly, and they made good, and they paid it back.

00:47:13.000 Yes.

00:47:13.000 But, for the most part, the people I'm talking about, you just know.

00:47:17.000 You're like, man, you're always from one crisis to another. 0.99

00:47:20.000 What the fuck are you doing? 0.99

00:47:21.000 And it doesn't matter. 1.00

00:47:23.000 My last fight, I signed this deal with this company.

00:47:26.000 I'm not going to call them out.

00:47:28.000 Close friend who did the deal and never saw the money.

00:47:32.000 I've known this guy forever.

00:47:33.000 Super close friend, man.

00:47:35.000 Financially, I'm fine.

00:47:36.000 I'm doing better than I've ever done, thank God.

00:47:39.000 We always had this rift.

00:47:40.000 He wasn't texting me or calling me back.

00:47:42.000 I just called him one day from a random number.

00:47:44.000 I said, hey, man, it's me. 1.00

00:47:46.000 Fuck the money, man. 1.00

00:47:47.000 Your friendship means more than money. 1.00

00:47:48.000 I don't care if I ever get that money, but let's just move on, man.

00:47:51.000 We're good.

00:47:52.000 No, we're good.

00:47:53.000 But he's always going to have that problem knowing that he ripped you off.

00:47:56.000 That's fine.

00:47:57.000 I'm cool with that.

00:47:58.000 You are, but he's probably chewing away at him.

00:48:01.000 He's not.

00:48:01.000 It makes him feel less.

00:48:02.000 But at least I know we're good and we have open relationship now.

00:48:04.000 Well, that's nice.

00:48:05.000 That's very nice of you.

00:48:06.000 I told this dude...

00:48:08.000 I mean, like, six months in, I was annoyed, you know, that I didn't get paid back.

00:48:13.000 But then I stopped.

00:48:14.000 Yeah.

00:48:14.000 You know, I mean, this is one guy.

00:48:16.000 I mean, I could go back over the times that I've been here.

00:48:18.000 And the problem is, everybody's got this scam.

00:48:21.000 Everybody's got this scheme.

00:48:22.000 You know, they want to come to you, and if you just give me this money, I'm going to start this business, and that business is going to make so much money.

00:48:28.000 And then as soon as my buddy gets in, he's going to bring his cousin who has a connection, and we're going to start this.

00:48:33.000 No!

00:48:34.000 No!

00:48:34.000 No.

00:48:34.000 But there's none of that, because how many people lent you money to get to where you're at?

00:48:38.000 Did you ask anyone?

00:48:39.000 I never asked anyone.

00:48:40.000 Me neither.

00:48:41.000 No one does.

00:48:42.000 You know, Dove and I, I'll tell you who it was after we're off the air, but... 1.00

00:48:45.000 Shit. 1.00

00:48:46.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:48:47.000 I know, but Dove and I bought a comedian a car. 1.00

00:48:50.000 What?

00:48:50.000 We loved this young guy, this young comedian, and both of us were like...

00:48:54.000 His name's Jay Leno.

00:48:54.000 No, we loved him.

00:48:55.000 Terrible investment.

00:48:55.000 We loved him, we thought he was amazing, and we liked him so much, and I was bothered at how he had no money.

00:49:02.000 Right.

00:49:02.000 And he was so smart and such a good guy.

00:49:04.000 And I was just like, this is bugging me.

00:49:06.000 And he's taking the bus down to San Diego and he's taking a bus around LA and he's got no way.

00:49:09.000 You can't live in LA. You can't be a comic and be living on the bus.

00:49:12.000 It's going to kill you at the end of the day.

00:49:14.000 So I said, I go, you know, man, I got some money.

00:49:16.000 And I said to Dove, I go, let's buy this guy a car.

00:49:18.000 I got a friend who deals in good cars.

00:49:21.000 They're not expensive. 0.99

00:49:22.000 Let's get him a reliable fucking Honda or something. 0.99

00:49:25.000 How much do you have to spend? 0.99

00:49:26.000 Four grand.

00:49:27.000 You spent four?

00:49:29.000 We both spent two or something.

00:49:30.000 It was not a big deal.

00:49:32.000 Meanwhile, long story short, just bought it for him, called me, thank you, thank you, all this stuff.

00:49:36.000 Always brings it up.

00:49:37.000 He sold it.

00:49:37.000 When I see him, no, he made it.

00:49:39.000 He made it in the business.

00:49:40.000 What?

00:49:41.000 He crushed it.

00:49:42.000 Yeah.

00:49:42.000 Really?

00:49:42.000 I'll tell you who it is after this.

00:49:43.000 And he never paid you back?

00:49:45.000 I said to him, this is not a loan.

00:49:47.000 This is what we want to give you, and I will never take money back.

00:49:51.000 Because he didn't want to take it.

00:49:52.000 He's like, what are you doing?

00:49:53.000 I go, this is my gift to you because you're worth it.

00:49:56.000 And Dov said the same thing.

00:49:57.000 What does his name rhyme with?

00:49:59.000 That's not a bad story.

00:50:00.000 Why wouldn't you tell that story?

00:50:01.000 Well, I'd rather him tell you.

00:50:02.000 Oh, okay.

00:50:03.000 You don't want him to know?

00:50:04.000 I'm going to write it down, though. 1.00

00:50:05.000 That he was a broke-ass bitch at one point? 1.00

00:50:07.000 Well, he... 1.00

00:50:09.000 We all are.

00:50:11.000 Let me see what you got over there.

00:50:12.000 Never heard of him. 0.99

00:50:15.000 Never fucking heard of him. 0.98

00:50:17.000 So you gave Chris Rock a car? 0.99

00:50:19.000 Yeah.

00:50:20.000 I support that choice, the choice that you just made.

00:50:23.000 Of course.

00:50:23.000 See what I mean?

00:50:25.000 I knew right away.

00:50:26.000 I knew right away.

00:50:27.000 I was like, this dude is so smart.

00:50:28.000 And I also understand why you didn't say the name.

00:50:29.000 Yeah.

00:50:30.000 No need.

00:50:30.000 Poor dude.

00:50:31.000 No need.

00:50:31.000 Dude, I have a wonderful comedian.

00:50:33.000 I don't mind helping anyone out.

00:50:34.000 A lot of fighters, too, man.

00:50:35.000 Listen, I get the struggle of the game, so anytime they help with t-shirts, Whether they're trying to get in podcasting, whatever.

00:50:42.000 I got one guy, Jack Mays, I hate to say his name, but my boy, he's trying to get a fight on Titan.

00:50:47.000 He's been doing it forever.

00:50:48.000 And my old manager and super close friend, Lex McMahon, owns Titan.

00:50:52.000 Well, he fights for a living, man.

00:50:54.000 This guy's a beast.

00:50:55.000 He has kids. 1.00

00:50:55.000 So I'm constantly hitting up Titan almost as his fucking manager. 1.00

00:50:59.000 Like, get this guy a fight, man. 0.98

00:51:01.000 Because they keep dragging him on, then someone falls out, and he's texting me like, dude, I don't know what to do.

00:51:07.000 So it's tough, man, because you want to help him, but I'm helping him in different ways than giving him money.

00:51:14.000 He's worth the effort.

00:51:15.000 Some people are worth the effort.

00:51:16.000 Even some people, if somebody asks me for money, and I feel like they really need it, it's almost worth the money to see them not...

00:51:26.000 Be in pain.

00:51:27.000 Right.

00:51:28.000 Like, I'll buy that, find my own piece of mind.

00:51:31.000 It's not a hard, fast rule, you know?

00:51:32.000 No, exactly.

00:51:33.000 Like most things. 0.97

00:51:34.000 Like, under most situations, when people need money or they come to you to borrow money, they're not gonna fucking make it. 0.57

00:51:41.000 It's just, it's not gonna happen. 1.00

00:51:42.000 No, if they reach out to you for money, they're fucked. 1.00

00:51:44.000 But most of those guys... 1.00

00:51:46.000 They're looking for a shortcut.

00:51:47.000 Yes.

00:51:48.000 A part of the personality of someone who keeps coming to people asking for money.

00:51:53.000 It's so common that it's the same kind of guy.

00:51:56.000 It's like this guy that has this elaborate story that he tells you that involves some new thing that's going to happen and when that new thing happens, everything's going to take off.

00:52:04.000 I love the stories.

00:52:05.000 I wish I could record them.

00:52:06.000 I wish I could record the stories.

00:52:08.000 They're so brutal.

00:52:08.000 I met with a guy the other day who's a buddy who I'm also in business with.

00:52:12.000 We're meeting...

00:52:13.000 On the idea of this merchandise thing, and he pitches this whole marijuana idea to me. 0.99

00:52:19.000 I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you, man? 0.99

00:52:21.000 Like a business? 0.99

00:52:22.000 A whole business.

00:52:23.000 Yeah, I've had that too.

00:52:24.000 I'm like, dude, get out of here, man.

00:52:26.000 Just focus on this. 0.99

00:52:28.000 He cornered me at the fucking store one night about some marijuana business he's doing and wants me to get involved, and they'll give me equity. 0.99

00:52:34.000 Dude, I'm not doing anything. 0.99

00:52:36.000 I have people call me all the time, about you, pitching me ideas for you.

00:52:41.000 They're just like, I got this great idea, I gotta speak to Joe Rogan in person.

00:52:44.000 I know, my friend, but it's just not gonna happen.

00:52:46.000 But I could see it all going bad.

00:52:47.000 I could see it, I mean, immediately.

00:52:49.000 You talk to this guy, first of all, the guy's super aggressive, coming up to you, wants to go into business with you.

00:52:53.000 He doesn't even know you.

00:52:55.000 Wants to go into business with you.

00:52:55.000 That's your first sign of craziness.

00:52:57.000 And then, you know, once it all goes back, dude, I fucking made this business, man. 0.99

00:53:02.000 If it wasn't for fucking me, we wouldn't have this business. 0.99

00:53:04.000 And you're like, I don't even want to be a part of this. 1.00

00:53:06.000 Why am I here?

00:53:07.000 I gotta get out of here. 0.99

00:53:08.000 And the next thing you know, you get this crazy dude who hates you. 0.99

00:53:10.000 Nothing worse.

00:53:11.000 Yeah, I mean the people that need your help or need your money in that bad of a way where they go out of their way to get your face about it They're looking for like a way to shortcut the system.

00:53:22.000 Yeah, like the system of Making it as a comedian the system like how many guys have come up to you and go hey, man You know be fucking really cool if you take me on the road like what?

00:53:31.000 Dude, you don't get spots anywhere.

00:53:34.000 I can't take you on the road.

00:53:36.000 You're not putting in the proper hustle.

00:53:38.000 Did you ever do that, Joe Rogan?

00:53:40.000 Never.

00:53:40.000 Did you ever do that, Brian?

00:53:42.000 Yes, there's a reason why his ass is asking. 0.99

00:53:45.000 There's no shortcuts. 0.99

00:53:46.000 Listen, man, there's ways to do it. 0.99

00:53:47.000 I'm friends with all the door guys at the comedy store, and these motherfuckers, they put on their Instagram pages, they're constantly hitting open mic notes. 0.99

00:53:56.000 Constantly. 0.98

00:53:57.000 You've got to be writing and always performing.

00:53:59.000 Speaking of performing, we're going to be in Denver March 18th and 19th.

00:54:04.000 What are you guys doing?

00:54:05.000 It's my birthday, too.

00:54:06.000 What's happening?

00:54:07.000 Oh, I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan.

00:54:08.000 We're going to be doing a live show, Brandon Shaw, Brian Callen, Fighter and the Kid, March 18th, two shows at Comedy Works, March 19th, two shows, Comedy Works, South.

00:54:19.000 It's my first time in Denver performing.

00:54:20.000 I love it.

00:54:21.000 It's one of my favorite places ever.

00:54:23.000 It's amazing.

00:54:23.000 Your birthday, dude.

00:54:24.000 It's my birthday.

00:54:25.000 Buy your tickets now.

00:54:25.000 Where do they go for tickets?

00:54:26.000 tfatk.com.

00:54:28.000 tfatk.com. 1.00

00:54:29.000 Sell this bitch out, Denver. 1.00

00:54:30.000 That's what I want for my birthday. 1.00

00:54:31.000 Denver's one of my favorite places on the planet Earth.

00:54:33.000 I love it.

00:54:33.000 That's one of my favorite places.

00:54:34.000 Dude, that's where my wife is from. 1.00

00:54:36.000 I would move back there. 0.99

00:54:37.000 You want to move there together, we'll fucking move there, dude. 1.00

00:54:39.000 Fuck that, man. 1.00

00:54:40.000 I'll do it in a heartbeat. 1.00

00:54:41.000 Dude, don't do it. 1.00

00:54:41.000 You could live just 20 minutes from the city and be in the mountains and have a fucking insane house with a view. 1.00

00:54:46.000 Here's the problem. 0.99

00:54:46.000 Just drive down to Denver Comedy Works. 0.99

00:54:48.000 Absolutely not, Mr. Rogan.

00:54:49.000 Here's the only problem.

00:54:50.000 If you two leave, I'll be pissed.

00:54:52.000 No, dude.

00:54:52.000 My wife grew up in snow.

00:54:53.000 My wife grew up in snow.

00:54:55.000 She'll never move back.

00:54:55.000 Exactly.

00:54:56.000 I did, too. 1.00

00:54:57.000 Fuck that snow. 1.00

00:54:58.000 Pussies. 1.00

00:54:58.000 People don't like the snow. 1.00

00:54:59.000 I like it.

00:54:59.000 I like visiting Devlin.

00:55:00.000 Better track animals.

00:55:02.000 Hey, when are we going?

00:55:03.000 Soon.

00:55:03.000 We'll talk after this.

00:55:04.000 Please.

00:55:05.000 Yeah.

00:55:06.000 The thing got moved to August, though.

00:55:07.000 It's important. 0.99

00:55:09.000 Frank Castillo, he's one of the guys who works at the store, and this fucking kid is funny as shit, and he's hustling. 0.99

00:55:16.000 He puts up his Instagram posts. 0.99

00:55:18.000 If you look at Frank Castillo, I think it's just Frank Castillo on Instagram, but his Instagram posts just constantly post all the different open mics he goes to.

00:55:27.000 You have to be like, there's too much competition.

00:55:29.000 Hammering.

00:55:30.000 He's doing open mic nights.

00:55:31.000 They'll do open mic nights that are outside on someone's roof.

00:55:34.000 They do them everywhere.

00:55:35.000 It doesn't matter where you do it.

00:55:36.000 That's how you have It doesn't matter.

00:55:37.000 It's an audience.

00:55:38.000 It doesn't matter.

00:55:39.000 I have this friend who's breaking into comedy, but this person has a large online social media following already, and then like breaking into stand-up, and we had a conversation about it, and they don't want to do the open...

00:55:52.000 I guess I'm making an obvious that it's a girl, but I'm not saying he or she.

00:55:55.000 They're thinking they're too good for it.

00:55:56.000 They don't want to do that hard work.

00:56:00.000 They should know it's all the same.

00:56:02.000 They should also know it's all the same.

00:56:03.000 Well, not only that, how about the fact that you or I will do that grind?

00:56:06.000 In a heartbeat.

00:56:07.000 Brian and I will go to open mic nights.

00:56:09.000 I do it all the time.

00:56:10.000 Well, to this day.

00:56:10.000 We'll show up at an open mic night.

00:56:12.000 We even fucking plan it out. 0.98

00:56:14.000 Yep. 0.98

00:56:14.000 You know, I'll do spots. 0.98

00:56:16.000 I do the fucking... 0.98

00:56:17.000 Red Band has that ice house spot at 10 o'clock at night and there's like 30 people in there. 1.00

00:56:21.000 I'll fucking show up. 0.98

00:56:23.000 It's great. 0.99

00:56:23.000 I'll text them up. 0.99

00:56:24.000 What's up?

00:56:24.000 Can I get in there?

00:56:25.000 Kill those 30 people. 1.00

00:56:25.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:56:25.000 Because you write sometimes. 1.00

00:56:27.000 You come up with ideas.

00:56:28.000 It's also your passion.

00:56:29.000 That's the difference.

00:56:29.000 Hey, we need to start doing...

00:56:30.000 I'm going to start doing a lot more of that local stuff.

00:56:33.000 How about the Ha Ha Cafe, the new Ha Ha? 0.97

00:56:35.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.98

00:56:36.000 It's great! 0.99

00:56:37.000 Sometimes when I'm doing the Ice House, like the main room, Jan will have a show.

00:56:42.000 The Booker will have a little show in the little room over there. 0.99

00:56:45.000 And again, 30, 40 fucking people. 0.99

00:56:46.000 That room only holds 80. And sometimes, Red Band gets like 80 stuffed in there sometimes, and it is a It's a killer fucking crowd. 1.00

00:56:57.000 It does sound fun. 0.99

00:56:57.000 They're on top of you, man. 0.99

00:56:59.000 There's like 80 people smushed in a really- I've done that room with you guys.

00:57:01.000 That's amazing.

00:57:01.000 That's a weird little room, right?

00:57:02.000 Yep.

00:57:03.000 I love it.

00:57:03.000 Those are great.

00:57:04.000 How weird is it when we started doing our live shows?

00:57:05.000 I didn't know.

00:57:06.000 Brian was like, dude, I think we're in Portland, Seattle.

00:57:09.000 800 people.

00:57:09.000 800, 900 people.

00:57:11.000 I'm nervous.

00:57:12.000 I'm like, yeah, whatever.

00:57:13.000 Brian's like, dude, you don't realize this is crazy, man.

00:57:16.000 Getting theater gigs like that?

00:57:18.000 He's just jumping in.

00:57:19.000 It's big.

00:57:20.000 What can you do?

00:57:20.000 It's big.

00:57:22.000 There's no one way to do it.

00:57:25.000 And what you're doing is different because you're doing that show.

00:57:27.000 You guys are essentially doing a dramatic piece.

00:57:30.000 Yes. 1.00

00:57:31.000 With a lot of ad-libbing and fucking around. 1.00

00:57:34.000 But you have a show. 0.99

00:57:36.000 Tom Segura and his wife, Christina Pazitsky, they have your mom's house.

00:57:39.000 They take that on the road.

00:57:39.000 And it's kind of the same sort of a thing.

00:57:41.000 They have an online podcast, but then they have a real live show.

00:57:46.000 Like an extended branch.

00:57:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:57:48.000 And it becomes...

00:57:49.000 There's fun shit they do. 1.00

00:57:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:57:52.000 That's the greatest time of my life, man.

00:57:54.000 Pinnacle of my life right now.

00:57:55.000 Would you want to do stand-up on your own?

00:57:57.000 100%, yeah.

00:57:58.000 Now that you're doing it, right?

00:57:59.000 Yeah, we kicked the show off.

00:58:00.000 I do the first 10-15 minutes.

00:58:02.000 That's a great job.

00:58:03.000 I absolutely love it, man.

00:58:04.000 So do you think you'll start expanding and putting together an act and maybe even touring?

00:58:09.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:58:10.000 Dude, you could totally do it.

00:58:11.000 I'd like to do that.

00:58:11.000 You could totally do it.

00:58:13.000 Let's do a show with the three of us.

00:58:14.000 How about that?

00:58:15.000 I'm in.

00:58:16.000 Come on, son.

00:58:17.000 You know how much fun that would be?

00:58:18.000 Us on the road?

00:58:19.000 Doing stand-up.

00:58:20.000 Hey, Brennan, get ready to play after 3,500 people, because if Rogan starts doing it, that's what it means.

00:58:24.000 How about that Chicago show?

00:58:26.000 I'd love it.

00:58:27.000 Oh, my God.

00:58:29.000 I'm more happy now.

00:58:30.000 I get more satisfaction when there's those live crowds.

00:58:33.000 That's why I put them on Instagram, because I'm so happy.

00:58:37.000 It's hard to explain, because in the UFC, if you have a fight, right?

00:58:40.000 And I've never been in the main event.

00:58:41.000 I've been co-main events.

00:58:42.000 I've been in big fights.

00:58:43.000 But the crowd's not there just to see you.

00:58:45.000 They're there to see all fighters, right?

00:58:47.000 Right.

00:58:48.000 But out of firing a kid, whether it's 800, 900 people, these sold-out shows, they're really there to see Bryan and Brendan.

00:58:53.000 So the love I get from that, I've been seeking it, looking for it my entire life.

00:58:58.000 My entire life.

00:58:59.000 For this approval, you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:59:01.000 For this fucking approval, my entire life sold out tomorrow. 0.99

00:59:05.000 It's hard for me not to cry, man. 0.99

00:59:06.000 When I get done with them, it's hard for me not to cry.

00:59:08.000 Is that a bathroom?

00:59:10.000 That's Irvine, right?

00:59:11.000 You guys are doing Irvine?

00:59:12.000 Yeah, Irvine tomorrow night.

00:59:13.000 I think there's like nine tickets left.

00:59:15.000 That's a fat room.

00:59:16.000 I can't wait, man.

00:59:17.000 It's like Super Bowl Sunday for me, man.

00:59:20.000 It's fun, right?

00:59:21.000 Insane.

00:59:22.000 Now you get it.

00:59:23.000 I get it. 0.99

00:59:25.000 Thank God brain trauma hasn't kicked in where I can still fucking... 1.00

00:59:28.000 Dude, alpha brain the fuck out of yourself on a daily. 1.00

00:59:31.000 Eventually they're going to have stem cells. 1.00

00:59:32.000 You're going to shoot it in there.

00:59:33.000 You're going to be a super brainiac. 1.00

00:59:34.000 Hopefully, man.

00:59:35.000 You don't want to get too smart, though.

00:59:36.000 Because if you get too smart, you'll consider the repercussions of saying what you're about to say. 1.00

00:59:41.000 I know right now I'm just like that dumb fucking... 1.00

00:59:43.000 Dog just going, saying stuff? 1.00

00:59:45.000 I keep a certain amount of stupid on hand just for coming. 1.00

00:59:48.000 I really do. 1.00

00:59:49.000 You have to, huh? 0.95

00:59:50.000 There's a certain amount of, like, if I wanted to really go fucking Sat Nam, Namaste, and fucking meditate all day, the problem is I could kind of go there, too. 0.92

00:59:58.000 Those guys aren't funny, though, are they? 0.91

01:00:00.000 No!

01:00:01.000 Well, it's not the kind of funny I do.

01:00:03.000 No, not at all.

01:00:04.000 Some people get bruised up.

01:00:05.000 For sure.

01:00:05.000 My kind of comedy, people get bruised up.

01:00:07.000 But the thing is, if they don't have an opinion on what you're doing one way or the other, you're not doing shit, son. 0.96

01:00:13.000 You want more people to like you than hate you, but you need both. 0.78

01:00:17.000 If we release podcasts and I get all these hateful things and good things, I'm like, perfect, man.

01:00:21.000 We're doing good.

01:00:22.000 I know what I like.

01:00:23.000 I know the kind of comedy that I like.

01:00:25.000 And that's the kind of comedy that I like to do.

01:00:27.000 I don't like calm comedy.

01:00:30.000 I like chaos.

01:00:31.000 I like watching people have fun.

01:00:35.000 There's only a couple ways to do that.

01:00:37.000 The subject matter is always going to be controversial.

01:00:41.000 Like I always say, Joey Diaz is my favorite all-time comic.

01:00:44.000 Because he's 100% controversial.

01:00:46.000 His take on everything is always going to be controversial.

01:00:49.000 It's always going to be chaos.

01:00:50.000 That's why you go to a show, because you don't want to hear what the average... 1.00

01:00:53.000 You want to see outrageous shit, man. 0.99

01:00:56.000 Well, he's a rock and roll comic. 1.00

01:00:58.000 Yes. 1.00

01:00:58.000 You know, you're watching some fucking rock and roll. 1.00

01:01:01.000 You're watching some chaos. 0.99

01:01:02.000 That's what I want, though.

01:01:04.000 That's the best.

01:01:04.000 Yeah.

01:01:04.000 That's why when someone has an opinion, like, that's why I don't watch these shows, whether it's NFL or UFC, where I know who's paying their bills, so they don't give a real opinion.

01:01:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:13.000 Like, nah, bitch. 1.00

01:01:14.000 Tell it like it is. 0.99

01:01:15.000 Well, that's why they wouldn't let you on UFC tonight.

01:01:17.000 That's why.

01:01:18.000 That's why they got rid of it.

01:01:20.000 Also, I'm doing so well in my own shit with Firing the Kid and these live tours, when they wanted me to drive to Burbank to film the show and do all that stuff, I'm like, you gotta pay me this much, man.

01:01:31.000 This is what I'm worth now. 0.90

01:01:32.000 And they're like, well, we can get this dude for this.

01:01:34.000 I'm like, do that!

01:01:35.000 Good luck!

01:01:36.000 Do that, son!

01:01:37.000 Do that!

01:01:38.000 Well, you understand your value.

01:01:40.000 You know, I think that is one thing where if I could give the UFC advice...

01:01:46.000 One thing that I would say is turn guys loose.

01:01:49.000 Turn guys loose.

01:01:50.000 Let them be themselves.

01:01:51.000 That's what makes the UFC special because you look at baseball, it's on a downward trend because they have all these rules and guys can't be themselves. 1.00

01:01:57.000 We have so many personalities and to become a fucking cage fighter in your underwear, you gotta be pretty fucking crazy. 0.97

01:02:02.000 So you get these cool colorful personalities. 1.00

01:02:05.000 We want that man. 1.00

01:02:06.000 Let that fucking go. 1.00

01:02:09.000 Do you remember when Matt Brown got in trouble for talking about, like, Ronda and Misha? 1.00

01:02:14.000 He goes, I'm not watching unless the women are naked. 1.00

01:02:16.000 Just some redneck shit. 1.00

01:02:18.000 Matt Brown is a fucking savage. 1.00

01:02:21.000 Super savage. 1.00

01:02:22.000 He did a video the other day on Instagram of him with his kid on his lap, and his kid's, like, being cute and, you know, his little tiny baby, and he's like, it's hard being hard. 0.99

01:02:33.000 Because he's like trying to make a fucking hard ass face. 1.00

01:02:36.000 He's just a straight savage. 1.00

01:02:37.000 He's just a savage and he's holding on to a baby in between deadlifts and punching people in the dick. 1.00

01:02:42.000 He's got a fucking baby in his head. 1.00

01:02:45.000 Dude. 1.00

01:02:46.000 Does he have a fight coming up?

01:02:48.000 I feel like he does.

01:02:50.000 He was supposed to be scheduled but why do I think he pulled out or something or the fight got cancelled?

01:02:56.000 Wasn't he supposed to be fighting?

01:02:58.000 Why do I think he was supposed to be fighting Damien Maia?

01:03:00.000 Because he's the last guy to beat Wonderboy.

01:03:02.000 Yeah.

01:03:02.000 It was like four or five years ago, though.

01:03:04.000 What is Matt Brown's...

01:03:06.000 See if we can find that.

01:03:08.000 I feel like there was a great fight that was coming up that I was super excited for and it got canceled.

01:03:14.000 Do you have any hint of scoop on whether McGregor's going to fight Aldo next?

01:03:18.000 Or is it going to be Frankie Edgar?

01:03:19.000 I think he fights Frankie.

01:03:20.000 Frankie Edgar is a way easier sell.

01:03:22.000 The Aldo fight, if Aldo comes back and wins, and wins in spectacular fashion, like say, if Aldo and Cub Swanson have a rematch, because Cub Swanson and Aldo went the same way that Frankie and McGregor went.

01:03:33.000 Aldo jumps at him, hits him with a flying knee, two seconds into the fight, and cracks him.

01:03:38.000 You can't sell Aldo McGregor, too.

01:03:40.000 You can sell Frankie, just like you said.

01:03:42.000 Why not?

01:03:43.000 Because Aldo has to win.

01:03:44.000 He's got to win again.

01:03:46.000 If he wins again, see, the difference is, You could sell it, but you wouldn't sell it for as much as if Aldo won.

01:03:53.000 Okay, Damien Ma.

01:03:54.000 Yeah, I was right.

01:03:55.000 Alright, UFC 198. Damien Ma is on a win streak.

01:03:59.000 That's in Brazil?

01:03:59.000 Hey!

01:04:00.000 Yeah, that's Fabricio Verdum, Stipe Miocic.

01:04:03.000 We'll be doing a fight companion because Joseph will be here. 1.00

01:04:06.000 Fuck yeah, son. 0.99

01:04:07.000 That is the weekend of my daughter's birthday, so I can't go. 1.00

01:04:11.000 Go back to what you're saying about McGregor-Aldo.

01:04:15.000 Oh, so Aldo would have to...

01:04:18.000 He would have to, I mean...

01:04:20.000 Redeem himself?

01:04:21.000 There would have to be something you could sell that's... 0.97

01:04:24.000 Like, when Manny Pacquiao got knocked dead, the Floyd Mayweather fight was off, but then he beats Chris Algieri, looks like a fucking demon again, starts looking fantastic, and you go, okay... 0.93

01:04:34.000 We can see it. 0.98

01:04:35.000 We can see it again.

01:04:35.000 And then they sold the fight.

01:04:37.000 But if they tried to go right from the Juan Manuel Marquez knockout, right into the fight, they would lose a shitload of money.

01:04:44.000 The fighter has to win.

01:04:45.000 Joe, that's why I like for...

01:04:48.000 For Misha, I want Misha Holly too.

01:04:51.000 Do you?

01:04:52.000 I want Misha Ronda.

01:04:53.000 Really?

01:04:54.000 You want to see it for a third time?

01:04:55.000 I don't.

01:04:56.000 I think Misha's better now.

01:04:59.000 It'd be interesting to see.

01:05:01.000 Why do that?

01:05:02.000 But she's the champ. 1.00

01:05:04.000 Misha's the fucking champ now. 0.99

01:05:05.000 I think that's the fight. 0.99

01:05:06.000 Because she's lost to Ronda twice already and didn't really come close to beating her. 0.85

01:05:11.000 She could lose to Amanda Nunes. 0.99

01:05:12.000 Amanda Nunes is no fucking joke. 1.00

01:05:14.000 That's why you can't toss Amanda Nunes in there right now. 1.00

01:05:17.000 Because there's only three bitches who can fight right now that we're going to pay to see, really. 1.00

01:05:21.000 So you have Misha, Holly, Ronda, right? 0.98

01:05:23.000 Ronda's out probably until November is what they're saying.

01:05:26.000 So basically eight months.

01:05:27.000 Just because of movies?

01:05:28.000 Who knows? 0.97

01:05:29.000 I bet she hurries her ass back up now that Misha's champ, right? 1.00

01:05:32.000 I don't know, man, because who knows, man? 0.96

01:05:34.000 So let's say it's eight months, though.

01:05:35.000 If Misha just chooses to fight differently and not engage her and fight the way she fought Holly, if she fights Holly and fights smart and measured... 0.98

01:05:43.000 Bro, she was getting her ass whooped against Holly until she pulled that out. 1.00

01:05:47.000 She was definitely losing. 1.00

01:05:48.000 Definitely losing.

01:05:48.000 She was not getting whooped though.

01:05:50.000 I wouldn't say she was getting whooped.

01:05:50.000 Her face was well taken care of at the end of the fight.

01:05:53.000 I can't go based on face, especially with 135 pound girls. 1.00

01:05:56.000 But listen, she never got rocked.

01:05:57.000 Her knees never buckled.

01:05:59.000 She never looked like she was going down or going out.

01:06:01.000 She was down 3 to 1. She was definitely down in points, but nothing Holly was doing was scary.

01:06:07.000 Holly was fighting real smart, and she was moving.

01:06:10.000 Completely in control of the fight.

01:06:11.000 Completely in control of the stand-up exchanges.

01:06:13.000 It wasn't like, is Misha going to win this? 0.93

01:06:15.000 I was talking to Brian during the fight, and I went, Man, it sucks for Misha, man.

01:06:18.000 She's always second best because if she's champ, she's a great champ because she looks good, she talks good, she represents good for women in the UFC. I would say all those things, great. 0.98

01:06:27.000 Yes, me too.

01:06:28.000 She's a great champ. 1.00

01:06:29.000 Best champ we've had, I think.

01:06:30.000 She's a really nice person.

01:06:31.000 Amazing.

01:06:32.000 She's great.

01:06:33.000 So is Holly, by the way.

01:06:36.000 Yeah, she's a smoke show. 1.00

01:06:37.000 That's what you want. 1.00

01:06:37.000 Especially that ass. 1.00

01:06:38.000 That ass is from the heavens. 1.00

01:06:40.000 No disrespect, Brian Carraway. 0.99

01:06:42.000 I was talking about this on the podcast.

01:06:45.000 I think that nobody talks about that.

01:06:46.000 That's a real love story.

01:06:48.000 That's an American love story.

01:06:49.000 Brian Carraway is so in her corner.

01:06:52.000 I think it's very romantic. 0.99

01:06:54.000 I think that's a very fucking... 0.99

01:06:56.000 I do. 0.98

01:06:56.000 I'm gonna cry a little bit. 0.98

01:06:57.000 I think you need to relax a little bit.

01:06:58.000 It's romantic, man. 0.96

01:06:59.000 Yeah, I know, but you won't shut the fuck up about it. 0.63

01:07:01.000 But nobody gives... 0.95

01:07:01.000 Nobody talks about it. 0.95

01:07:02.000 Yeah, because we don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:07:02.000 I do. 0.99

01:07:03.000 I think it's awesome.

01:07:04.000 I almost cried again when I was interviewing Misha.

01:07:06.000 When Misha won?

01:07:07.000 Yeah.

01:07:08.000 Because she finally did it?

01:07:08.000 When she said...

01:07:10.000 When I said, how's that sound?

01:07:11.000 She goes, I've been waiting to hear you say those words for so long.

01:07:13.000 That was amazing.

01:07:14.000 Dude, how about she was gonna retire? 1.00

01:07:15.000 Yeah.

01:07:16.000 How about she was like, they're not giving my shot. 0.99

01:07:17.000 I'm about to be the fuck out. 0.99

01:07:18.000 Well, she was thinking about it. 0.99

01:07:20.000 What's she doing with her life? 1.00

01:07:21.000 This is all I'm saying, Joe.

01:07:23.000 If, let's say, for whatever reason, you can't fight until November.

01:07:27.000 So that's, what, eight months?

01:07:28.000 Right?

01:07:29.000 Yeah.

01:07:29.000 Why not do Holly Misha 2?

01:07:31.000 Well, you certainly could.

01:07:33.000 That's the only other fight you can do.

01:07:34.000 But the problem with that fight is, well, there's not really a problem with that fight.

01:07:39.000 What's the worst that happens?

01:07:40.000 Holly wins, then you have Holly-Ronda that we want to see, really?

01:07:43.000 That's the biggest blockbuster fight in history.

01:07:46.000 Because you've lost that.

01:07:48.000 Definitely.

01:07:49.000 But I would like to see, the problem is the time frame, but I would like to see Ronda versus Misha.

01:07:54.000 But, what if Misha wants to sit it out? 0.97

01:07:56.000 What if Misha wants to wait for Ronda, and she just trains like a fucking demon for AJ? Which is what Holly should have done, and they should have just been on this PR fucking tour to build her celebrity up so high, so by the time her and Ronda fight, it's the biggest fight in UFC history. 0.96

01:08:10.000 I'm going to get Dana on the phone and have him hire you. 0.99

01:08:13.000 You know what's up.

01:08:14.000 Well, Dana agreed with that.

01:08:15.000 Of course.

01:08:16.000 That's what he said.

01:08:16.000 That's what he wanted.

01:08:17.000 That's what Dana was saying.

01:08:18.000 That's what Dana was saying.

01:08:19.000 And I remember...

01:08:20.000 Blast out.

01:08:20.000 People think I don't like Dana.

01:08:21.000 I like Dana, man.

01:08:23.000 We just disagree on certain things. 0.99

01:08:24.000 Who gives a fuck? 0.99

01:08:25.000 But I say, because Dana goes, yeah, she should have waited, but we had a meeting with her manager. 0.99

01:08:29.000 She was even in on the meeting, and they wanted to hurry up and fight, which I think was a mistake.

01:08:33.000 He's 100% correct.

01:08:35.000 Well, 100% correct financially, but you've got to respect her as a warrior.

01:08:38.000 What she wanted to do, she wanted to get in there, she wanted to throw down.

01:08:42.000 People argue that all the time.

01:08:43.000 Oh, Shob, you've been a better fighter if you're a warrior. 1.00

01:08:45.000 You're an armchair quarterback when you're talking about Monday morning.

01:08:48.000 The day of the fight, she could have won.

01:08:50.000 And if she did won, she would look like even more of a king or queen.

01:08:53.000 But pros and cons, I'm talking about when people say, ah, but such a warrior. 0.99

01:08:57.000 Listen, being a warrior doesn't pay the fucking bills 20 years from now. 0.97

01:09:00.000 That's true, but you gotta understand, she made a fuckload of money for that fight. 0.99

01:09:03.000 She would've made so much more fucking money for Ronda. 1.00

01:09:06.000 I would say she's gonna have a shot at Ronda. 1.00

01:09:09.000 It's gonna happen.

01:09:10.000 Holly?

01:09:10.000 I think Holly.

01:09:11.000 Who knows how many fights Ronda's gonna fight? 1.00

01:09:13.000 But this is the risk in MMA. The risk in MMA is, look, if Conor loses to Frankie Edgar, Which is a possibility.

01:09:20.000 It's a scary fight for Conor.

01:09:22.000 Very, very strong fight.

01:09:24.000 And so, in a way, if he loses to Nate, now he loses to Frankie, that luster, that shine is gone.

01:09:33.000 And that's one of the things about MMA. He still has that shine though right now.

01:09:36.000 He still has that shine because he lost a fucking savage at one season. 0.98

01:09:40.000 Frankie Edgar is a 48-hour storm. 0.99

01:09:44.000 You better have everything strapped down. 0.98

01:09:46.000 He knocked Chad Mendes the fuck out. 0.95

01:09:47.000 He's a 48-hour star. 0.98

01:09:48.000 He's not going to get tired.

01:09:49.000 Never.

01:09:50.000 He's not getting tired, and he's going to keep coming at you. 0.98

01:09:51.000 Oh, and he can wrestle his ass off. 0.98

01:09:52.000 He can wrestle his ass off, and he's going to come at you with crazy angles. 0.97

01:09:56.000 His footwork is sensational. 0.67

01:09:57.000 This is the problem, though.

01:09:59.000 If Conor connects, which Frankie does get hit.

01:10:02.000 Yeah.

01:10:04.000 You think could knock Connor out?

01:10:05.000 I mean, Frankie could get knocked out by Connor?

01:10:08.000 Oh, very possible.

01:10:08.000 Very, very possible.

01:10:09.000 I think Connor could knock out anybody.

01:10:10.000 It's a good fight for Connor.

01:10:11.000 At 145, Connor will not starch anybody.

01:10:13.000 Anybody.

01:10:14.000 He's so heavy-handed.

01:10:16.000 But, by the way, so will Cub Swanson.

01:10:17.000 Cub Swanson couldn't connect on Frankie.

01:10:19.000 He got murked, didn't he?

01:10:19.000 He got murked.

01:10:20.000 He got crowned.

01:10:21.000 Frankie just wolverined him. 0.88

01:10:23.000 Just...

01:10:24.000 Very possible that will happen. 0.99

01:10:27.000 First of all, you know, Conor's got to suck a lot of weight. 0.99

01:10:30.000 It's a very hard suck for him. 0.99

01:10:31.000 And it's a five-round fight, and man, if anybody can grind you into the ground, it's that guy.

01:10:36.000 And you look at the Chad Mendes fight, obviously Conor had a knee injury going into that fight, but Chad took him down at will.

01:10:43.000 When Frankie gets you tired, man... 0.99

01:10:45.000 You're in trouble, because that motherfucker moves. 1.00

01:10:47.000 What he did to Cub Swanson was incredible. 1.00

01:10:51.000 I mean, he just wore him down. 1.00

01:10:53.000 I've never seen an asshole been like, really. 0.99

01:10:54.000 Cub, as far as I've seen everyone in the gym, Cub is the most talented guy I've ever seen in the gym. 1.00

01:11:00.000 It's fucking insane how talented that kid is. 0.99

01:11:04.000 So when I saw Frankie just dismantle him, I was like, holy fuck. 0.99

01:11:08.000 Frankie, Edgar, like you said, his footwork, his boxing's great, hard to hit. 0.96

01:11:13.000 You know why they're not probably giving him, and I don't know the numbers, but I would assume, I don't think he's a draw.

01:11:18.000 Frankie's not, but it's a big fight.

01:11:20.000 But if you give him Conor, you're good. 0.99

01:11:21.000 Because he's a fucking draw. 0.98

01:11:22.000 So what I'm asking is that if you're Conor's manager, and if you're Conor, doesn't it make sense to somehow duck Frankie in the interim? 0.99

01:11:30.000 No.

01:11:31.000 Fight Aldo for the big money.

01:11:32.000 That ain't an easy fight.

01:11:33.000 You see, you can't sell Aldo unless Aldo wins, I'm telling you.

01:11:37.000 How are you going to sell Aldo when he starched him in 16 seconds?

01:11:40.000 Because he was a champion for 10 years and also that starching happened so quickly, people go, I'm interested because I want to know if that was a fluke.

01:11:47.000 That's why I'm interested.

01:11:48.000 Yeah, but Brian, you could sell it.

01:11:50.000 You could sell it, but you're not going to sell it for nearly as much as you would sell it if Aldo wins something.

01:11:55.000 I agree.

01:11:55.000 You need Aldo to fight.

01:11:57.000 Yeah, if Aldo fights Max Holloway, how about that?

01:11:59.000 What if he fights Max Holloway, and he looks like the Aldo. 1.00

01:12:01.000 That's a fucking fight, son! 0.99

01:12:03.000 And he looks like the Aldo of old, right? 1.00

01:12:05.000 Or he gets his ass whooped. 1.00

01:12:06.000 Or he gets his ass whooped. 0.99

01:12:07.000 But one of those guys emerges, and then you've got the possibility of Max Holloway having a rematch with Conor. 0.99

01:12:12.000 He's the only guy that took Conor to a decision. 0.99

01:12:14.000 And we need some young blood, and Max Holloway's that fucking guy. 1.00

01:12:17.000 And he's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:12:19.000 Oh, he's fucking bastard. 1.00

01:12:21.000 We need some young blood. 1.00

01:12:22.000 And he's only like 24. Phew.

01:12:24.000 Is he only 24?

01:12:26.000 I thought Holloway was fighting at 55. No, he's 45. He's a fucking freak.

01:12:34.000 He's got a fight coming up though. 1.00

01:12:36.000 Doesn't Max Holloway have a fight?

01:12:37.000 Yeah, we just announced that Aldo, UFC 200, make it happen.

01:12:40.000 Why do I feel like he's got a good fight scheduled that I'm interested in?

01:12:43.000 Is he fighting llamas?

01:12:45.000 Is he fighting Ricardo Lamas? 0.96

01:12:47.000 Because Lamas just fought Diego, and Diego's only appearance at 45, he was way too sucked up.

01:12:53.000 Max is on a total winning streak, isn't he?

01:12:56.000 How about Diego Sanchez beating Jim Miller? 0.99

01:12:59.000 Goddamn season one. 0.98

01:13:01.000 Season one winner of the Ultimate Fighter. 0.98

01:13:03.000 Him and Rashad are the only guys left, right?

01:13:04.000 Yeah, but Diego is still in the hot mix. 1.00

01:13:09.000 That fucking kid's an animal. 1.00

01:13:12.000 He knows one thing. 1.00

01:13:14.000 Animal.

01:13:15.000 Fighting.

01:13:15.000 Dude.

01:13:16.000 Diego Sanchez.

01:13:17.000 Watch his fight with Jake Ellenberger.

01:13:19.000 How about Martin Kampman?

01:13:20.000 That's the best one. 1.00

01:13:21.000 Because for two rounds, his fucking face is hanging off of his head. 1.00

01:13:25.000 He's nuts, man. 1.00

01:13:26.000 And he wins the third round. 1.00

01:13:27.000 He wins the fucking third round. 1.00

01:13:29.000 Doesn't get tired. 1.00

01:13:29.000 Against a guy in Campman who fought at 85. You know, he's a small 85, as Diego won the season one and won 85 too. 1.00

01:13:36.000 But very good striking. 0.97

01:13:37.000 And Diego won the goddamn third round. 0.99

01:13:38.000 He puts his arms down and he goes, come on! 0.99

01:13:40.000 And then he starts fighting and you're like, oh! 1.00

01:13:41.000 He's fucking nuts, man. 1.00

01:13:43.000 He's mad now. 1.00

01:13:44.000 Now you got him angry.

01:13:44.000 Won the third round against Gilbert Melendez.

01:13:47.000 That's right. 1.00

01:13:47.000 That was a fucking crap. 1.00

01:13:49.000 Dude, I was doing analyst work for ESPN, and all they want to talk about, I think it was JDS and whoever, Verdum was on that. 1.00

01:13:56.000 I forget which one it was. 0.99

01:13:57.000 And I went, fuck that. 1.00

01:13:58.000 Just hear me out. 1.00

01:13:59.000 Fuck that fight. 1.00

01:14:00.000 As a guy who knows fighting, you have to. 1.00

01:14:03.000 You have to talk about Diego and Gilbert Melendez.

01:14:06.000 Please!

01:14:07.000 And finally, they kind of showed it. 0.99

01:14:09.000 I'm like, I'm telling you guys, they're fucking dropping the ball. 0.99

01:14:11.000 This is the fight. 0.99

01:14:12.000 This is one where I'd show my kid, like, you want to see what fighting is about?

01:14:16.000 Insert Gilbert Diego hair. 0.99

01:14:19.000 I'm like, ESPN, get your shit together. 1.00

01:14:21.000 Insert, fuck, I think it was JDS Mark Connors on that, I forget, but get the fuck out of my face. 1.00

01:14:27.000 That's like, some guys, they want to fight like that, but they can't find a willing opponent. 1.00

01:14:33.000 But if you can get Diego and Gilbert together, Gilbert, if he fought smart, could probably out-move Diego.

01:14:40.000 Oh, for sure.

01:14:41.000 Out-strike, but he decided to bite down They should put those guys on every car. 0.98

01:14:45.000 He's not retreating.

01:14:46.000 Just every car.

01:14:47.000 Every two months those two fight.

01:14:48.000 Just every two months.

01:14:49.000 He's not going to step back.

01:14:51.000 He's going to stand in a phone booth with you and just bang.

01:14:53.000 Such a good guy, too, man.

01:14:54.000 He got popped.

01:14:55.000 For what?

01:14:56.000 Steroids.

01:14:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:58.000 Damn it. 1.00

01:14:58.000 I know. 1.00

01:14:59.000 Ain't that a bitch? 1.00

01:15:00.000 You get older. 1.00

01:15:01.000 You need a little help. 1.00

01:15:01.000 God damn it. 1.00

01:15:02.000 You know, I'm torn on this. 1.00

01:15:04.000 I swear to God I'm torn.

01:15:06.000 You're going to see shorter careers.

01:15:07.000 You're going to see more injuries. 0.92

01:15:08.000 Dad bod Vitor bums me the fuck out. 0.90

01:15:10.000 Me too, man. 0.76

01:15:11.000 Fantastic. 0.87

01:15:14.000 I'm telling you, Tad Vod Vitor fucked my week up, man, when you see that. 0.95

01:15:19.000 Let me see it. 0.98

01:15:19.000 Bring it up. 0.98

01:15:20.000 I gotta see it.

01:15:20.000 TRT Vitor is maybe my all-time favorite fighter to watch.

01:15:25.000 No, I like TRT. Just his explosiveness.

01:15:26.000 I like TRT Overeem.

01:15:28.000 TRT Overeem.

01:15:28.000 Okay, you're right.

01:15:29.000 Because he's murdering bitches. 1.00

01:15:30.000 Yeah, TRT Overeem. 1.00

01:15:31.000 Kicking heads off and shit. 0.99

01:15:32.000 Versus Brock Lesnar, that's hard to top. 1.00

01:15:35.000 That made me want to retire early.

01:15:36.000 Plus the size factor. 0.99

01:15:37.000 He's just so big and ridiculous. 1.00

01:15:39.000 He didn't even look like a human. 1.00

01:15:40.000 With world-class striking. 0.99

01:15:41.000 Yeah, but fucking Vitor wheel-kicked Rockhold. 0.99

01:15:43.000 Never threw a wheel-kick in a fight. 1.00

01:15:44.000 Hold up, bro.

01:15:45.000 Wheel-kick Michael Bisping's eye off.

01:15:48.000 That was a round kick. 0.98

01:15:49.000 Bisping can't see! 1.00

01:15:50.000 He kicked his eye off.

01:15:51.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:15:52.000 See, his girl is so fucking hot, too. 0.98

01:15:56.000 Well, it's hard to tell, man. 0.99

01:15:57.000 That could be the shirt sticking out like that.

01:15:59.000 When he fought Chris Wyman, everyone was saying he's fat and that, but that might just be the shirt.

01:16:04.000 You can't really tell.

01:16:05.000 You know there's certain pictures you take.

01:16:07.000 I agree.

01:16:07.000 I like the fact that he put that online.

01:16:08.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:16:09.000 Look at my gut. 1.00

01:16:10.000 Who gives a shit? 1.00

01:16:10.000 I just knocked out Dan Henderson in one round, bitch. 1.00

01:16:12.000 First of all, knocked out Dan Henderson. 1.00

01:16:13.000 Look at my girl.

01:16:14.000 I'm rubbing her shoulders. 1.00

01:16:15.000 Eat dick, son. 1.00

01:16:16.000 Yeah, eat it. 1.00

01:16:17.000 Yeah, I got a gut, but I'm fucking rich and Brazilian. 0.99

01:16:20.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

01:16:21.000 He's a superstar in Brazil.

01:16:23.000 What?!

01:16:23.000 Yeah.

01:16:24.000 It's like Tom Cruise over there.

01:16:25.000 He got hit hardest by the Reebok deal.

01:16:28.000 Dude, I saw a special on...

01:16:30.000 I watched a documentary on Ronaldo.

01:16:34.000 The soccer player?

01:16:35.000 Yeah.

01:16:36.000 That's who you want to be in your next life.

01:16:38.000 Not really. 1.00

01:16:39.000 What if somebody beats his ass? 1.00

01:16:40.000 He's small. 1.00

01:16:40.000 Oh, I don't give a shit. 1.00

01:16:41.000 He's the king of the world. 1.00

01:16:42.000 He's a prince.

01:16:43.000 I would make out with him.

01:16:44.000 All right.

01:16:45.000 Vitor Belfort is up there, man.

01:16:46.000 That guy's killing it.

01:16:47.000 How about TRT Vitor? 0.96

01:16:49.000 Ah, man.

01:16:50.000 TRT Vitor back in the Rockhold days when he fought Bisping.

01:16:54.000 Wouldn't you have liked to have seen what would happen if that guy fought Weidman?

01:16:58.000 I would have liked to have seen it.

01:16:59.000 I think Weidman still beat him with his wrestling.

01:17:01.000 It's tough.

01:17:02.000 I want to see a TRT Vitor versus Luke Rockhold. 0.99

01:17:06.000 That's a motherfucking fight. 0.98

01:17:08.000 Well, we already saw that once. 1.00

01:17:09.000 Yeah, he did kick his face off. 0.99

01:17:10.000 Kicked his face off. 0.86

01:17:11.000 I'm talking about the champion Rockhold now.

01:17:12.000 Those are back in the day.

01:17:14.000 I'm talking now.

01:17:14.000 Dude, TRT Vitor is barely human.

01:17:17.000 Okay?

01:17:18.000 Is he the scariest guy?

01:17:19.000 That's some kind of alien.

01:17:20.000 Is he the scariest guy?

01:17:21.000 You know why?

01:17:22.000 Because here's the thing about TRT Vitor.

01:17:23.000 You got this freak body with abundance of fast twitch muscle fibers. 0.93

01:17:29.000 Ridiculous work ethic. 0.75

01:17:30.000 See, he's still in good shape. 0.97

01:17:32.000 That was him throwing a punch there.

01:17:33.000 I don't know why he's throwing one punch and dropping his hands like that.

01:17:36.000 Why would you show that video?

01:17:37.000 Excuse me, sir.

01:17:38.000 It's Vitor Balfour.

01:17:39.000 Yeah.

01:17:40.000 It's one punch knocking people out.

01:17:41.000 But it's weird.

01:17:42.000 Like, why would you show...

01:17:43.000 This is a weird thing to show. 0.99

01:17:46.000 I don't think he gives a fuck. 0.99

01:17:47.000 Yeah, I mean, that's the weirdest thing. 0.99

01:17:50.000 I guess they're working on some moves or something like that.

01:17:52.000 Yeah, he's just moving around.

01:17:52.000 Could be at the end of the workout.

01:17:53.000 You compare that to go to the Rockhold fight.

01:17:56.000 Vitor versus Luke Rockhold.

01:17:57.000 By the way, we might have brought up TRT Vitor when we get together about 30 times.

01:18:02.000 Every time.

01:18:02.000 Now we're obsessed with him.

01:18:03.000 He was a psycho, man. 1.00

01:18:05.000 He was so fucking terrifying. 1.00

01:18:05.000 You know what threw me for a loop? 1.00

01:18:06.000 And this just shook my fucking world. 0.99

01:18:09.000 Kimbo and Ken Shamrock! 0.99

01:18:10.000 Busted for TR! That's outrageous!

01:18:12.000 Who saw that coming?

01:18:14.000 I don't believe it.

01:18:15.000 That doesn't make any sense.

01:18:16.000 Look at him there.

01:18:16.000 Oh my lord.

01:18:17.000 Look at him there. 0.98

01:18:17.000 He's a demon. 0.98

01:18:18.000 Look at Rockhold in that though. 1.00

01:18:19.000 Rockhold's all natural there, like surfing and shit. 1.00

01:18:21.000 Just a basic ass haircut. 1.00

01:18:22.000 Rockhold looks like a schoolboy there. 0.99

01:18:24.000 He's like, what? 1.00

01:18:25.000 He had his fucking face kicked off in Brazil. 1.00

01:18:27.000 Why don't you go ahead and fly 14 hours and get your face kicked off? 1.00

01:18:30.000 Look at that. 1.00

01:18:31.000 Rockwell told me he saw him at the weigh-ins and was like, what the fuck is this guy on? 0.99

01:18:36.000 He said, you could tell just looking at him. 0.98

01:18:37.000 And then Vitor whispered in his ear, everything.

01:18:41.000 But here's the thing.

01:18:42.000 He's also, it's training. 1.00

01:18:44.000 I mean, it is not just the fact that he was on TRT, which he most certainly was, but also the fact that he was training like a fucking monster. 0.99

01:18:52.000 He was training like 20 hours a day. 0.99

01:18:53.000 See, that's him all sucked up, though.

01:18:54.000 That's at the weigh-ins. 0.96

01:18:55.000 When he's pointing to his Jesus waistband there.

01:18:58.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:18:59.000 But when you see, like, above that...

01:19:00.000 It might be Jesus.

01:19:01.000 Like, throw that wheel kick.

01:19:02.000 Yeah, like, that's him when he wheel kicked Rockhold in the head.

01:19:04.000 Like, look how big he is.

01:19:06.000 I mean, Jesus Christ.

01:19:07.000 So the reason why I think he's the scariest is because he's got a massive amount of experience.

01:19:14.000 You're talking about a guy who's been fighting since 97. Yeah.

01:19:17.000 He's been training since, you know, years before that, right?

01:19:20.000 So he's been around forever.

01:19:21.000 Yeah.

01:19:22.000 Almost 20 years in the game.

01:19:25.000 That's insane.

01:19:25.000 He's at 19 years in the game.

01:19:27.000 Especially at his level.

01:19:28.000 At the highest, highest level.

01:19:30.000 At the highest level.

01:19:30.000 And he's only like 38 now.

01:19:33.000 I think he just turned 38, if I get it correctly.

01:19:36.000 Wow.

01:19:36.000 Which is crazy.

01:19:37.000 Such a nice guy, too, man.

01:19:39.000 He's like the nicest guy ever.

01:19:40.000 Very nice guy.

01:19:41.000 Vitor's a smart guy, too.

01:19:43.000 You know, and he speaks very fluent English as well as Brazilian, Portuguese, rather.

01:19:49.000 But if you look at his body, what you have is this freak body that also has all this knowledge.

01:19:56.000 And usually by the time a guy acquires all that knowledge, his body starts to fall apart.

01:20:00.000 I had a conversation with Eve Edwards about it.

01:20:02.000 We were talking about, like, Eve is a super knowledgeable guy.

01:20:05.000 So many fights?

01:20:06.000 He's had so many fights.

01:20:08.000 And it's almost like he knows so much now, but his body just doesn't cooperate like it did when he was young and wild.

01:20:14.000 That's a bummer.

01:20:15.000 Back in the Aaron Reilly days, you ever see his fights with Aaron Reilly, hook and shoot?

01:20:19.000 But you see a lot of guys who have resurgence, we were talking about this, like heavyweights and stuff, like Ben Rothwell, or guys like that, who, I mean, Fabrizio, you'll see them when they get to be in their 30s.

01:20:31.000 Arlovski.

01:20:32.000 Yeah, Arlovski, they get in their 30s and they're fighting differently.

01:20:35.000 That's heavyweights though.

01:20:36.000 Heavyweights will generally have a longer career and peak later.

01:20:40.000 GSP's thinking about coming back.

01:20:41.000 I think they genuinely don't know how to move their body as well when they're younger because there's so much mass. 0.88

01:20:47.000 I think if you look at little tiny people, one of the things I've noticed about having kids is you watch kids in gymnastics class and the shit they can do with their body, it's not just flexibility. 0.80

01:20:57.000 There's no weight. 0.98

01:20:58.000 There's no mass.

01:21:00.000 So they're like moving their body around, they're rolling around, they're doing flips, and they develop like an understanding of movement.

01:21:07.000 It's also being able to measure, like Chris Van Yerden was explaining to me how as you get better and better at boxing, you have to move less because your eye can measure shots.

01:21:18.000 So instead of like really moving to the side, like a guy like that will just literally step back like an inch, get you to miss, and then boom, capitalize.

01:21:25.000 Experience is priceless, man.

01:21:27.000 Before I fought Roy Nelson, I remember Nate telling me, I was like, dude, I'm more athletic.

01:21:31.000 And he goes, yeah, but man, he has so much experience.

01:21:34.000 I'm telling you, it's priceless. 0.99

01:21:35.000 I was like, yeah, what the fuck does Nate Marquardt know? 0.99

01:21:38.000 A lot. 0.99

01:21:38.000 Nate Marquardt's a perfect example, too. 0.99

01:21:41.000 Who the fuck did he just knock out? 0.99

01:21:42.000 C.B. Dalloway. 1.00

01:21:43.000 And I was saying in that fight, I'm like, C.B. can't open up and chase him.

01:21:47.000 Fuck, no. 1.00

01:21:47.000 You can't just open up because the last thing to go on a guy like Nate Marquardt is his punch. 1.00

01:21:52.000 And Nate Marquardt can crack.

01:21:55.000 So hard.

01:21:55.000 And he's cracked.

01:21:57.000 A lot of guys.

01:21:58.000 He's got a lot of memories of cracking people.

01:22:01.000 It's just in his muscle memory.

01:22:03.000 Horizontal.

01:22:03.000 He went flying through the air.

01:22:05.000 You see that bullshit leg kick? 0.99

01:22:07.000 He tried to throw a knee at him. 1.00

01:22:08.000 He tried to lead knee.

01:22:10.000 He just caught him with a straight right.

01:22:12.000 Dude, old school Nate Markhart. 1.00

01:22:13.000 Fuck, he was a badass. 0.99

01:22:14.000 He was a guy that was super talented but might have had a little bit too much damage by the time he got to the UFC. He started fighting when he was 17. Yeah. 1.00

01:22:22.000 17. He's still doing it and winning.

01:22:25.000 The fight coming up. 0.99

01:22:26.000 His fucking highlight reel knockout of Tyron Woodley in Strikeforce is one of the best. 0.99

01:22:30.000 Are you talking about that Mortal Kombat combo? 0.99

01:22:31.000 Oh my god.

01:22:32.000 One of the best combos.

01:22:33.000 Oh, he's a monster.

01:22:34.000 So talented.

01:22:35.000 Such a diverse and a lot of traditional martial arts techniques mixed with some really good boxing as well.

01:22:41.000 Well...

01:22:42.000 Extensive martial arts background.

01:22:44.000 Yeah.

01:22:44.000 And he started fighting when he was very young.

01:22:45.000 He was like the first, like...

01:22:47.000 Especially in Colorado, man. 1.00

01:22:48.000 Nate was the shit. 1.00

01:22:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:49.000 He's the one... 1.00

01:22:50.000 I went...

01:22:50.000 I looked Nate up because he's the badass.

01:22:52.000 I went straight to his gym.

01:22:53.000 You said you'd never seen him lose a round in practice.

01:22:55.000 Not for a very, very, very long time.

01:22:57.000 Yeah.

01:22:58.000 He was like our team captain.

01:23:00.000 Well, GSP was his number one training partner, wasn't he?

01:23:02.000 Oh, yeah.

01:23:03.000 He's the one that created that whole connection.

01:23:05.000 You're going to get better if your training partner is one of the greatest ever.

01:23:09.000 Well, there's that, but the word was always that Nate was better.

01:23:13.000 That's what I've heard.

01:23:13.000 I mean, Nate was a bigger guy, and he was fighting at 185. I asked Nate one time, I said, how do you do against GSP? And he said, well...

01:23:21.000 That's all I said.

01:23:22.000 He's so modest.

01:23:23.000 I go, what are you doing well?

01:23:24.000 Most fighters are going to do it.

01:23:25.000 Yeah, he's not going to say anything else.

01:23:26.000 Yeah, why would he say anything?

01:23:27.000 There's nothing worse. 1.00

01:23:27.000 What does his dick say? 1.00

01:23:28.000 He's like, well, who could he cover underwears? 1.00

01:23:30.000 There's nothing worse than when you ask a guy something and he fucking, oh, dude, I fucked whoever, Vitor Belfort up in round one of practice? 0.98

01:23:39.000 We're talking about practice. 0.97

01:23:40.000 Well, there's a lot of guys that have that, right?

01:23:42.000 Oh, it's the worst.

01:23:43.000 The practice thing.

01:23:45.000 Yeah.

01:23:47.000 There's some good fights coming up, man.

01:23:49.000 What's your call?

01:23:50.000 You got Frank Miramar Hunt.

01:23:51.000 Yeah, that's interesting.

01:23:52.000 What's your call?

01:23:53.000 Magny Hector Lombard.

01:23:54.000 That fight scares me.

01:23:56.000 You know Neil's my buddy, and Hector, I'm a Hector Lombard fan.

01:24:00.000 He gets a hold of you.

01:24:00.000 You going for a ride.

01:24:01.000 He's also a guy that's been, he tested positive.

01:24:05.000 And he's been around a long time.

01:24:06.000 Another mind-blowing one.

01:24:07.000 I know.

01:24:08.000 Who saw that column?

01:24:08.000 I was so surprised.

01:24:09.000 I'm like, what? 1.00

01:24:09.000 With that ass? 1.00

01:24:11.000 That's artificially created? 0.99

01:24:12.000 Looks like the letter S. Well, he, I feel like, is in the same boat as his other Cuban compatriot, Yoel Romero, in that they got to the UFC a little late in their career.

01:24:24.000 People forget, Hector Lombard was murking everybody over in Bellator.

01:24:29.000 Everybody.

01:24:29.000 He came over from Bellator.

01:24:30.000 85. Like, people forgot.

01:24:32.000 They forgot. 1.00

01:24:33.000 You bitches forgot? 1.00

01:24:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:24:35.000 He's ripping dudes' faces off.

01:24:36.000 And he's, I think he's only 5'9". 0.89

01:24:38.000 He's tiny.

01:24:39.000 The fight, the fight, he might even be 5'9".

01:24:41.000 He might be 5'8".

01:24:42.000 But the fight to see is him fighting.

01:24:45.000 I like how they do it in inches.

01:24:46.000 That's 5'9", right?

01:24:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:24:48.000 The fight, the fucking body on that guy. 1.00

01:24:50.000 Jesus Christ! 1.00

01:24:51.000 I've never seen an ass, no homo, I've never seen an ass on a male in my life. 1.00

01:24:56.000 It's the best ass I've ever seen. 1.00

01:24:58.000 But he can explode on you, man. 1.00

01:24:59.000 He can explode on you.

01:25:00.000 In many ways.

01:25:00.000 The way he knocked out Nate, a perfect example.

01:25:03.000 That knockout of Nate Markhart was fucking ferocious. 0.98

01:25:07.000 The angles and the fearlessness in which he chased Nate down and the knockout power. 0.99

01:25:12.000 When he's on, man, he's fucking terrifying. 0.98

01:25:13.000 Good luck beating him when he's on. 0.99

01:25:15.000 I want to see him fight Robbie Lawler.

01:25:16.000 That's the fight I want to see.

01:25:17.000 How old is Hector now?

01:25:19.000 Not young.

01:25:20.000 But he's never taken a beating in there.

01:25:22.000 Still rolls with that acne, though. 0.98

01:25:23.000 How about when he went in and fucking destroyed Paul Harris? 0.99

01:25:28.000 38. That's when you saw how fucking scary he is, because Paul Harris couldn't do shit to him. 0.99

01:25:35.000 Hector Lombard, before this drug test, and we don't know how he's going to be now, but the scariest guy at 170. Who the fuck knows? 1.00

01:25:41.000 If you draw that card, you're like, ah, fuck. 1.00

01:25:43.000 Fuck, son. 1.00

01:25:44.000 That ain't smart. 1.00

01:25:45.000 It's not fun.

01:25:46.000 That ain't one where you're like, ah, I can expose this.

01:25:48.000 Magni looks like he's in a different weight class.

01:25:50.000 I mean, that might be the picture, but...

01:25:52.000 Yeah.

01:25:52.000 Or maybe it's not the picture.

01:25:54.000 No, no.

01:25:54.000 Magni's long and tall, though.

01:25:56.000 He's a totally different guy.

01:25:58.000 Dude, how about...

01:25:59.000 Remember when we did the companion...

01:26:00.000 Powerful Alan Joban fighting on this card, but how about when we did the...

01:26:04.000 What's her name?

01:26:05.000 Remy Nakai.

01:26:05.000 Remember that?

01:26:06.000 Remember that?

01:26:06.000 Yeah.

01:26:07.000 I was all in her ass. 1.00

01:26:08.000 She's got her ass whooped by Meets Your Date. 1.00

01:26:10.000 You know what the... 1.00

01:26:12.000 Look at that build, son!

01:26:15.000 She's thick. 1.00

01:26:17.000 That's a thick one.

01:26:18.000 Cutie pie.

01:26:20.000 She does like weird fetish stuff. 1.00

01:26:23.000 Yeah, man.

01:26:23.000 I was into it.

01:26:24.000 I'm not exactly sure what it is.

01:26:27.000 I approve either way.

01:26:29.000 It's one of the few times where I read the captions and I'm glad I don't speak Japanese.

01:26:32.000 She looks like Mark Hunt and Sakuraba had a baby.

01:26:36.000 But she's got a cute face. 1.00

01:26:38.000 Fuck you, Cal! 1.00

01:26:39.000 Don't try covering this up! 1.00

01:26:42.000 And Leslie Smith, she had to get her ear sewed back on. 0.99

01:26:45.000 Oh, that's right. 1.00

01:26:46.000 That bitch's ear fell off. 1.00

01:26:47.000 Bursted. 1.00

01:26:48.000 Jessica I. Jessica I blasted her ear and it shot up like a volcano. 1.00

01:26:51.000 And she wanted to keep going. 1.00

01:26:53.000 Her fucking ear was hanging off her head. 1.00

01:26:55.000 She had a hole that you could look deep into her skull. 1.00

01:26:57.000 What?

01:26:58.000 I'm not kidding, man.

01:26:59.000 I'd never seen anything like it.

01:27:00.000 Yeah, she wanted to keep going.

01:27:01.000 They stopped it.

01:27:01.000 She wanted to keep going.

01:27:02.000 She was upset.

01:27:03.000 That card is sleeping.

01:27:05.000 Good luck picking Knockout of the Night or Performance of the Night.

01:27:08.000 There's going to be so many knockouts on that card.

01:27:09.000 You look at the matchups.

01:27:11.000 Yeah.

01:27:11.000 I think there's a better picture, Jamie, where you can see there.

01:27:13.000 That's it.

01:27:14.000 You just had it right there.

01:27:15.000 Click on that one.

01:27:16.000 Yeah, you can see how deep the hole was.

01:27:19.000 It was a giant hole. 0.99

01:27:20.000 It's because the skin gets so thin from the cauliflower and that bitch opened up. 1.00

01:27:23.000 Well, it's not that it gets thin, actually. 0.94

01:27:25.000 What it is is the actual cauliflower itself.

01:27:27.000 It helps rip apart the skin because it's like having a rock under your skin.

01:27:31.000 Yes, it is.

01:27:32.000 You see that one?

01:27:33.000 You see that one, Jamie?

01:27:34.000 Look at that one.

01:27:35.000 That's what it looked like.

01:27:36.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:27:37.000 You see into her fucking ear. 1.00

01:27:40.000 You can see her brain. 1.00

01:27:41.000 So do you think while she had it sewed back on, she got the cauliflower trimmed off?

01:27:45.000 I would.

01:27:46.000 Yeah.

01:27:46.000 I would too.

01:27:47.000 Trim that shit. 1.00

01:27:48.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:27:49.000 It's gonna grow back if you keep training.

01:27:51.000 Isn't she Cesar Gracie? 0.97

01:27:53.000 I think she's one of them Cesar Gracie NorCal girls.

01:27:57.000 Or maybe Dave Terrell.

01:27:59.000 You gotta love fighting to do it for a living, man.

01:28:00.000 You gotta love fighting. 1.00

01:28:01.000 She's tough as fuck! 1.00

01:28:03.000 Read the guy picture, man. 1.00

01:28:04.000 God damn it, girl. 1.00

01:28:06.000 Do your thing. 1.00

01:28:07.000 She looks like an anime doll.

01:28:09.000 I know, right? 1.00

01:28:10.000 She is paid to do that shit, too. 1.00

01:28:11.000 Hey, think about how fucking tough Josh Berkman is. 1.00

01:28:13.000 We're talking about Hector Lombard. 0.98

01:28:14.000 Josh Berkman, who just fought his last fight and won at 55...

01:28:18.000 He's a veteran, man.

01:28:18.000 ...fought Lombard.

01:28:20.000 That's right.

01:28:21.000 That's right.

01:28:21.000 And he blocked it, sat there in the pocket.

01:28:23.000 And he was sick.

01:28:24.000 He went into that fight sick.

01:28:26.000 Antibiotics, right? 1.00

01:28:27.000 Yeah, it's all fucked up. 0.99

01:28:28.000 And that's the fight that Hector tested positive for. 0.99

01:28:30.000 Yeah, that's the fight Hector tested positive for.

01:28:31.000 And Berkman just sat there and just kind of parried and stayed pretty much markless.

01:28:36.000 Dude, I thought Berkman was going to get murked.

01:28:38.000 He stayed dangerous.

01:28:39.000 That's why.

01:28:40.000 Especially when Lombard started to get a little tired, he didn't want to come in because...

01:28:43.000 He was throwing bombs that fight.

01:28:45.000 Yeah, Berkman's winging bombs at you.

01:28:46.000 Smart fighter. 0.99

01:28:47.000 And you could hit him with a bat. 0.99

01:28:49.000 Yeah.

01:28:49.000 His defense is excellent.

01:28:51.000 That motherfucker could take a shot. 1.00

01:28:51.000 Well, he can take it, too. 1.00

01:28:53.000 He's just tough.

01:28:54.000 Berkman's been around.

01:28:55.000 And he's fought as heavy as, like, 205. Really?

01:28:58.000 Yeah, he fought Jeremy Horn once. 0.99

01:29:00.000 And I don't know what the fuck. 0.98

01:29:01.000 They had some crazy dispute. 1.00

01:29:02.000 There was some argument where they hated each other.

01:29:04.000 He's been fighting forever.

01:29:05.000 Jeremy Horn is, like, one of the nicest guys in the world.

01:29:07.000 And Jeremy choked him out and spit on him.

01:29:09.000 Oh, no.

01:29:10.000 He was out cold.

01:29:11.000 Well, he can't do that.

01:29:11.000 I don't know what happened.

01:29:12.000 But Jeremy's the nicest guy ever.

01:29:14.000 Well, he's also a fighter.

01:29:15.000 I know, but I'm telling you, the idea that Jeremy could get so upset at someone is almost like alien to me.

01:29:22.000 I don't understand it.

01:29:23.000 Who does Nate Diaz fight next?

01:29:26.000 You should fight Robbie Lawler at UFC 200?

01:29:28.000 No, I would say Dos Anjos is the fight.

01:29:31.000 Because I think that Robbie Lawler is too big for him.

01:29:34.000 If he's going to really fight at 170, he should...

01:29:37.000 I mean, he could fight at 170, make no mistake about it.

01:29:40.000 But if you look at the Rory McDonald fight, and you look at the Stun Gun Kim fight...

01:29:48.000 He could, also, you could easily make an argument, and I think it's not even an argument, it's a fact, he's a lot better than he was when he fought Rory McDonald, and he's a lot better than he was when he fought Dong Young Kim.

01:29:58.000 I think his fight, his last fight in particular, not just the Conor McGregor fight, but the fight with Michael Johnson before that, he's on fire.

01:30:05.000 Nate is comfortable.

01:30:06.000 He's confident and Nate is one of the slickest dudes when it comes to rolling with punches. 1.00

01:30:12.000 When Nate gets hit, Nate gets hit and he goes with shit. 1.00

01:30:17.000 He's going with shit and he's got this like long slinky fucking jab that comes out of nowhere. 1.00

01:30:24.000 You have to give him a super fight after being Conor McGregor and he has such fucking momentum. 1.00

01:30:29.000 Whether he agrees with what the UFC does or whatever, you have to give that guy I think a title shot. 0.55

01:30:34.000 Well, the UFC, I think, they have to recognize that he's a superstar right now. 0.98

01:30:40.000 Nate Diaz is a fucking superstar right now. 0.97

01:30:43.000 But fight at 55, though. 0.99

01:30:44.000 I think 55 is his weight.

01:30:45.000 55 or 70. But if you give him 70, just give him more than two weeks notice.

01:30:49.000 I think he has a better chance beating Robbie Lawler than he does Dos Anjos.

01:30:55.000 God, Robbie's just too big and strong, man.

01:30:57.000 I don't know.

01:30:57.000 Dos Anjos, yeah.

01:30:58.000 Well, Dos Anjos was his loss before he fought Michael Johnson. 0.95

01:31:02.000 Dos Anjos leg kicked the shit out of him. 0.97

01:31:05.000 Horribly. 1.00

01:31:05.000 And mangled him on the ground once his leg was all fucked up. 1.00

01:31:08.000 Dos Anjos is... 1.00

01:31:09.000 Dos Anjos is a goddamn juggernaut, man. 0.99

01:31:11.000 Who does he fight? 1.00

01:31:12.000 He fights Conor.

01:31:14.000 That's what I think.

01:31:15.000 No, come on, son.

01:31:16.000 You can't do that.

01:31:17.000 No, you can't do that.

01:31:18.000 That's Conor's worst matchup.

01:31:19.000 That's what we were supposed to see!

01:31:21.000 No!

01:31:21.000 That's what we were supposed to see!

01:31:23.000 Not anymore!

01:31:23.000 I don't think it works out well for Conor.

01:31:25.000 Come on, man.

01:31:26.000 I don't want to see that fight now.

01:31:27.000 What if he sleeps him?

01:31:28.000 Okay.

01:31:28.000 Whack!

01:31:29.000 What if he one-punches him like he did also?

01:31:30.000 He's a better boxer. 0.99

01:31:31.000 And we're like, God damn it! 0.99

01:31:33.000 This is chaos! 0.99

01:31:34.000 It's possible.

01:31:35.000 It is possible.

01:31:36.000 He has to go to 145, fight Frankie, and then let's talk about 55. Well, I think he kind of has to defend his title.

01:31:42.000 You can't lose at 70, then fight the champ at 55, and then go back to 45. It doesn't work like that.

01:31:47.000 Here's a big thing.

01:31:48.000 Here's a question.

01:31:49.000 I'm not saying.

01:31:50.000 I'm asking a question.

01:31:52.000 Oh, here we go.

01:31:53.000 Is it possible? 1.00

01:31:55.000 I'm gonna get shit. 0.99

01:31:56.000 Look, is it possible that Conor McGregor, because he's an excellent boxer and he's got that left hand, Is it possible that we're going to see people game plan to say, hey, just stay away from that left hand, and if you do, you can just grab them and grind them into the ground? 0.99

01:32:11.000 You're not going to get shit for that. 0.95

01:32:12.000 We're talking about just take them down? 0.99

01:32:15.000 That's nothing new.

01:32:16.000 Did you not really have a question and you just came up with a question after you said that?

01:32:20.000 No, my question?

01:32:21.000 That's what it was, right?

01:32:22.000 Jamie knows.

01:32:23.000 Everyone knows his weak point is wrestling.

01:32:24.000 I've asked you this.

01:32:25.000 In other words, do you think that...

01:32:27.000 If he gets...

01:32:28.000 I guess what I'm really asking is...

01:32:30.000 Yeah, please spit it out.

01:32:31.000 What I'm really asking is, is he just really good with that left hand?

01:32:35.000 And if you negate that, he becomes ordinary?

01:32:38.000 No, he's an excellent fighter.

01:32:39.000 He's an amazing fighter.

01:32:41.000 People thrown in the towel because he lost at 179. You don't just knock out Aldo with one punch, destroy Marcus Brimage, destroy Diego Brandao.

01:32:49.000 He's destroyed Dennis Seaver. 0.99

01:32:50.000 He looks like a murderer.

01:32:52.000 He smashed Chad Mendes. 1.00

01:32:53.000 Conor McGregor is a gangster. 0.97

01:32:55.000 There's no doubt about it. 0.99

01:32:57.000 He just got a little crazy.

01:32:59.000 He thought he could fight anybody.

01:33:01.000 He went up all the way up to 170. He took a chance.

01:33:04.000 Granted, he fought Nate Diaz, who's not a real 170 anyway, but he's a legit 155 who can't make 145. Nate can't make 145. You see Nate cut down to 55, he is fucking shredded.

01:33:16.000 So another 10 pounds after that, that's not going to happen. 0.98

01:33:19.000 But Conor can make that weight, so you've got to think that Nate is a bigger guy.

01:33:22.000 And I'll tell you why Conor's still the biggest draw in the UFC, because, and everyone should take notes, the way he's handled this loss...

01:33:29.000 He doesn't go into hiding.

01:33:31.000 He's not doing interviews. 1.00

01:33:33.000 He's not talking shit. 0.99

01:33:34.000 Just, what's up? 0.99

01:33:35.000 I took a chance. 0.99

01:33:36.000 I fucking lost, man. 0.99

01:33:36.000 I will not apologize. 0.99

01:33:37.000 Still in my suit.

01:33:38.000 Not going to apologize. 1.00

01:33:39.000 Took a fucking risk. 1.00

01:33:40.000 Who's fucking next? 1.00

01:33:41.000 Well, he loaded up on Nate. 0.99

01:33:43.000 He tried to take him out with one shot at a time, and you just can't do that.

01:33:46.000 He's not that easy.

01:33:47.000 He's not an easy out.

01:33:48.000 I don't know how he keeps DeSanjos, besides knocking him out, keeps him away from him.

01:33:52.000 I feel like if DeSanjos grabs him, It's a big, big problem.

01:33:55.000 Totally different animal physically.

01:33:56.000 I haven't seen any answer to that.

01:33:57.000 Completely different animal physically. 0.99

01:33:59.000 Dos Anjos has these thick ass ankles and thick ass wrists. 1.00

01:34:03.000 Thick ass. 1.00

01:34:04.000 He's a thick motherfucker. 1.00

01:34:05.000 They're like knocking him out. 1.00

01:34:06.000 Have fun getting kicked in the leg by him and then grabbed around the body. 0.91

01:34:09.000 Also, his pace is insane. 0.96

01:34:12.000 Insane.

01:34:12.000 He's breaking, dude.

01:34:13.000 Especially at 55. When I watched his fight with Pettis, I was like, how's this guy keeping this up?

01:34:17.000 See, that's not the move.

01:34:19.000 If I'm Conor's manager, I have him first take some time off.

01:34:22.000 He doesn't fight at UFC 200. No, you're crazy. 0.97

01:34:24.000 He's fighting UFC 200. Why would he not? 0.66

01:34:27.000 When is that? 0.99

01:34:28.000 Because he just got fucking murked. 0.98

01:34:30.000 He might need a break because the UFC has him doing interviews 24-7. 0.99

01:34:33.000 He got punched a couple of times, shot for a takedown.

01:34:35.000 He hit a couple of times on the ground and choked out.

01:34:37.000 He got concussed.

01:34:38.000 Do you think he got a concussion?

01:34:39.000 Huh? 1.00

01:34:40.000 Yeah, I got fucking a one-two from fucking Nate Diaz that was on Wobble Street. 0.99

01:34:44.000 But is that a concussion? 1.00

01:34:45.000 This motherfucker shot a double leg. 1.00

01:34:47.000 I know he did, but what is technically a concussion? 1.00

01:34:50.000 Your brain getting fucked up and you see him double and then you revert back to old school stone cold ways. 0.97

01:34:55.000 A concussion is when your brain's bruised, right? 1.00

01:34:56.000 Right, well medically.

01:34:58.000 Like medically.

01:34:58.000 I think it's when you bruise your brain.

01:35:00.000 I don't know.

01:35:01.000 We know he got his bell rung.

01:35:02.000 We know he got rocked.

01:35:03.000 We saw his legs buckle. 0.93

01:35:05.000 We saw Nate beat the piss out of him on the ground before he choked him.

01:35:07.000 So all those count, right?

01:35:09.000 That's brain trauma.

01:35:10.000 Yeah, so I wonder how much damage he did and I wonder how much time he really should take off because it's not the same like there's obviously levels of it like Rhonda getting head kicked by Holly is like the highest level.

01:35:22.000 The highest level is getting Gonzaga'd.

01:35:24.000 When Gonzaga knocked out Krokop, that was like the highest level.

01:35:29.000 Here's even better.

01:35:31.000 Terry Edom versus Barboza.

01:35:33.000 When Barboza wheel kicked Terry Edom, that's the highest level of KO. Go and take some time off, son.

01:35:38.000 That's the highest level of KO. Like the rest of your life.

01:35:40.000 But either way, see, we say, well, he just got his bell rung.

01:35:44.000 That's brain trauma.

01:35:45.000 But there's levels, right?

01:35:46.000 But still.

01:35:48.000 But you rushed to UFC 200 for what?

01:35:50.000 For what?

01:35:51.000 Why not do another day?

01:35:52.000 Baby, give me that paper.

01:35:54.000 No, not just that.

01:35:54.000 He's going to get paper no matter what.

01:35:55.000 Also, also, how long is your career, like, just injuries and stuff, man?

01:36:00.000 I don't know.

01:36:00.000 We need a guy like Conor.

01:36:01.000 Look at Chad Mendes, too.

01:36:02.000 Look at Chad Mendes.

01:36:03.000 Chad Mendes goes from getting stopped by Conor and then immediately gets knocked out with one punch by Frankie.

01:36:07.000 Yeah.

01:36:08.000 And showed, like, that's not normal for him.

01:36:10.000 Right.

01:36:10.000 Usually he can take a really good shot.

01:36:12.000 Yeah, man.

01:36:12.000 So he goes from that to that.

01:36:13.000 Now, when was the Ricardo Lamas fight?

01:36:16.000 It was before the Conor fight, right?

01:36:18.000 Before Conor.

01:36:18.000 So he fights Ricardo Lamas, dusts him with one punch, hurts him at least with one punch, then puts him away.

01:36:24.000 Fights Conor, loses that fight, gets stopped, and gets really rocked.

01:36:27.000 Conor hits him with some big left hands.

01:36:29.000 He didn't get knocked out, but he kind of just...

01:36:30.000 He was so tired, and then Frankie got punched.

01:36:34.000 He got TKO'd.

01:36:35.000 100%.

01:36:36.000 And then Frankie just takes him out with one left hook. 1.00

01:36:39.000 Left hook from fucking New Jersey, son. 0.99

01:36:43.000 If I'm Connor's camp, I'm losing sleep over that guy Frankie Edgar. 1.00

01:36:47.000 You have to.

01:36:49.000 It's his best matchup.

01:36:50.000 If he loses to Frankie, what happens to Connor at that point?

01:36:56.000 That's a real good question.

01:36:58.000 If he loses to Frankie, he's got to really figure out how to regroup.

01:37:02.000 It depends on how Frankie beats him. 1.00

01:37:04.000 If Frankie takes him down and beats the fuck out of him on the ground, then he's got a real problem. 1.00

01:37:09.000 That's what I'm saying. 0.98

01:37:10.000 A lot of guys go, oh, that's the blueprint.

01:37:15.000 Brian, everyone knows that's how you beat Conor. 0.99

01:37:17.000 Everyone tries to do that, then they get fucking knocked out. 0.97

01:37:19.000 Everyone knows, everyone in this entire world knows, Conor's weak point is grappling. 0.99

01:37:23.000 It's nothing new.

01:37:24.000 But I would make an argument that he hasn't seen a real grappler.

01:37:27.000 Chad Mender.

01:37:27.000 Except for Chad was good for one round.

01:37:30.000 Joe Duffy, who's the guy who beat him.

01:37:32.000 Joe Duffy arm-triangled him.

01:37:33.000 That's what I mean.

01:37:34.000 So what I'm saying is that...

01:37:36.000 I'm telling you, you're saying nothing new.

01:37:37.000 No, I know.

01:37:39.000 I'm just saying that when you see what Chad Mendes did...

01:37:42.000 It's like you're breaking news.

01:37:43.000 When you see what Chad Mendes did...

01:37:44.000 People right now are getting their fingers ready. 0.99

01:37:45.000 Brendan's a bully! 1.00

01:37:47.000 Brian Brendan's a big bully! 1.00

01:37:49.000 And Rogan backs him up! 0.97

01:37:50.000 They love picking on you, Calvin!

01:37:52.000 No, no.

01:37:53.000 That's not what it is.

01:37:54.000 No, this is what...

01:37:54.000 Brian goes, just hear me out.

01:37:56.000 I'm going to take some heat from this.

01:37:57.000 No one's ever heard this.

01:37:59.000 What if you fight Conor and you take him down?

01:38:04.000 Just hear me out!

01:38:05.000 I know it's crazy what I'm saying.

01:38:06.000 What I said is, if you could just get away, all you have to do is stay away from his left hand and not worry about anything else.

01:38:12.000 Yeah, but that's not true because he kicks good.

01:38:14.000 Conor's got really good kicks.

01:38:15.000 His right hand's amazing, too.

01:38:16.000 Did you just say he kicks all right?

01:38:17.000 His kicking didn't do a thing to Nate Diaz.

01:38:20.000 Okay, yes it did.

01:38:21.000 He kicked him with some pretty good leg kicks.

01:38:24.000 He didn't throw anything...

01:38:26.000 I don't think his kicks are like Dos Anjos is what I'm saying.

01:38:28.000 They're not like...

01:38:28.000 You can't take kicks all right.

01:38:30.000 He's a different kind of kicker than Dos Anjos.

01:38:32.000 I can't entertain this conversation. 0.99

01:38:33.000 He'll take a piss. 0.86

01:38:34.000 When Brickell says his kicks are all right... 0.82

01:38:36.000 In comparison to a lot of guys, I feel like that's not...

01:38:39.000 I feel like when you fight Conor, you're worried about his left hand.

01:38:42.000 You're not worried about getting knocked out like Holly.

01:38:45.000 You say, be careful of that roundhouse.

01:38:46.000 You're going to get knocked out.

01:38:48.000 With Dos Anjos, watch out for those leg kicks. 0.96

01:38:50.000 With Aldo, watch out for those leg kicks.

01:38:51.000 With Conor, you're saying, stay away from that left hand.

01:38:54.000 Let me tell you something. 0.89

01:38:55.000 If he kicks you in the face, he can knock you out that way too. 1.00

01:38:57.000 And he can kick you in the face. 0.98

01:38:59.000 But he hasn't done it to anybody. 0.97

01:39:00.000 It doesn't mean anything.

01:39:01.000 He's got a lethal left hand for sure, but when I watch him throw kicks...

01:39:05.000 Well, you're closer. 0.63

01:39:06.000 He throws a lot of kicks, man.

01:39:08.000 He throws a lot of kicks, and a lot of times what he's doing is he's throwing almost disdainful kicks.

01:39:11.000 Setting you up.

01:39:12.000 Well, he's relaxed with them.

01:39:14.000 He's just throwing them in there.

01:39:15.000 He just throws them in there. 0.99

01:39:16.000 He's not like fucking gritting down and digging in. 0.99

01:39:19.000 Like Barboza grits down, digs in. 0.99

01:39:22.000 That's exactly what I'm saying, though.

01:39:23.000 The kicks themselves might be there as a distraction, but you're not going to have to...

01:39:27.000 It's not like your coach says, listen, those kicks are going to knock you out.

01:39:30.000 Where's Barboza? 0.97

01:39:31.000 You're negating the Chad Mendes fight because he fucked Chad up with kicks to the body. 0.98

01:39:35.000 He hit Chad with a hard spinning back kick to the body. 0.99

01:39:37.000 He front kicked him to the body a gang of times.

01:39:40.000 Yeah.

01:39:40.000 I think he's got a lot of tools.

01:39:42.000 It's just, does he have real world-class tools?

01:39:46.000 Like, here's the most world-class striker right now in MMA. Wonderboy.

01:39:51.000 That's the most dynamic and exciting striker in MMA. And what he's doing is, he's sport karate, but Muay Thai skills and wrestling, takedown defense.

01:40:03.000 And that combination is fucking ridiculous. 0.99

01:40:06.000 Just hear me out. 1.00

01:40:07.000 I know it's crazy.

01:40:08.000 If I'm fighting him.

01:40:09.000 He's long.

01:40:09.000 He fights his hands down.

01:40:11.000 You can't find a sparring partner to match him.

01:40:15.000 No.

01:40:16.000 Well, he was 57-0, I think it was, in kickboxing.

01:40:20.000 Yeah, 57-0. 1.00

01:40:21.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:40:22.000 This is what's crazy. 1.00

01:40:23.000 How crazy is MMA where Conor loses, Ronda loses, Holly loses?

01:40:27.000 You can't predict it.

01:40:28.000 Everybody. 1.00

01:40:29.000 Except for that bad motherfucker, pound for pound, number one, Jon Jones. 0.99

01:40:33.000 I was going to say Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson. 1.00

01:40:35.000 Nah, he's lost though.

01:40:36.000 I'm talking about the only guy who hasn't.

01:40:38.000 He hasn't lost since he fought Dominic Cruz.

01:40:41.000 He lost a decision to Dominic Cruz.

01:40:42.000 Still lost.

01:40:43.000 I'm just saying a guy who hasn't.

01:40:44.000 Jon Jones.

01:40:45.000 Not even close.

01:40:45.000 That's true.

01:40:46.000 Jon Jones hasn't been...

01:40:47.000 Well, Gustafson.

01:40:49.000 Still won.

01:40:50.000 I want to see him in Rumble.

01:40:53.000 I really do.

01:40:54.000 Me too.

01:40:54.000 I think he's going to wrestle.

01:40:55.000 I think if he fights with Rumble, I think you'll see Jon Jones take Rumble down a whole bunch of times.

01:41:01.000 Take him down first. 0.96

01:41:02.000 Here's the thing about Jon.

01:41:04.000 Jon could be the nail.

01:41:06.000 He's not just the hammer.

01:41:07.000 He could be the nail.

01:41:08.000 And it's one of the things that's really scary about him. 0.99

01:41:10.000 He's so fucking talented, but he still can take a beating and he does not give up. 0.94

01:41:14.000 He got his arm basically snapped backwards by Vitor Belfort, and then he submitted Vitor later in the fight. 0.98

01:41:20.000 I mean, he fought...

01:41:21.000 She had all of Vitor's entire body on him. 0.78

01:41:24.000 He fought Chael Sonnen, beat the fuck out of him, and in beating the fuck out of him, he broke his toe sideways, twisted it around backwards, and he didn't even realize it until we were talking. 0.94

01:41:34.000 He didn't even realize it until he had his belt on. 0.51

01:41:38.000 And he looks down, and the bottom of his big toe is facing up.

01:41:41.000 And that's wild, Jon Jones.

01:41:44.000 Now he's lifting and praying.

01:41:45.000 Good luck beating him! 1.00

01:41:47.000 He's lifting and drinking fucking... 1.00

01:41:48.000 He's lifting and praying. 0.99

01:41:49.000 He's drinking Fiji water and doing squats.

01:41:51.000 I love that.

01:41:51.000 That's his Instagram.

01:41:52.000 They show him lifting and he's like, he's changed.

01:41:54.000 This is brilliant. 0.99

01:41:55.000 He's fucking changed. 0.99

01:41:56.000 This is a cynical brother shot. 0.99

01:41:58.000 Cynical Brendan Shaw, who doesn't believe in movement coaches, also doesn't believe John Jones is cherry.

01:42:03.000 He does cherry work, Brendan.

01:42:05.000 I'm saying good luck beating that dude.

01:42:06.000 Good luck beating him. 0.83

01:42:08.000 Good luck beating that dude. 1.00

01:42:09.000 And if he is super dedicated, even more good luck beating him.

01:42:13.000 Hopefully.

01:42:14.000 Sometimes you need that wild card for greatness. 0.79

01:42:17.000 You need to be a little crazy.

01:42:18.000 I believe that. 1.00

01:42:20.000 He's a wild mother.

01:42:20.000 I want my champ doing a couple lines here and there.

01:42:23.000 I want my champ getting caught in a Bentley with prostitutes. 1.00

01:42:26.000 That's what I'm saying. 0.92

01:42:26.000 When you did that interview with him and Daniel Cormier and we were in the middle, the look in Jon Jones' eyes. 0.92

01:42:34.000 Oh, he's terrifying.

01:42:35.000 Dude, so what happened when the camera wasn't rolling?

01:42:38.000 Are you Well, they wouldn't talk to each other before.

01:42:41.000 And afterwards, John was... 0.99

01:42:43.000 They were talking mad shit on the way out in the parking lot. 0.97

01:42:46.000 But I didn't witness that, so I can't really speak on that. 0.98

01:42:48.000 But before it...

01:42:50.000 Like, I had a conversation with Daniel before it, separately.

01:42:52.000 And I had a quick conversation with John before it, separately.

01:42:56.000 Just saying, what's up?

01:42:57.000 How's everything?

01:42:57.000 You know, just chit-chat.

01:42:59.000 And...

01:43:00.000 Seeing how he's doing and that kind of stuff. 0.99

01:43:04.000 He's fucking terrifying, man. 0.99

01:43:06.000 When he's focused, some of the shit that he was saying to Daniel was like, ooh. 1.00

01:43:10.000 Yeah, he's like, Daniel's problem is I'm the alpha. 1.00

01:43:14.000 And he wants to be the alpha, but he knows he's always going to be my pussy. 1.00

01:43:17.000 You're always gonna be my pussy. 1.00

01:43:19.000 I don't know if they put that on the video. 1.00

01:43:20.000 They would kill each other.

01:43:21.000 They didn't put that? 1.00

01:43:22.000 They just took off the pussy, I think. 1.00

01:43:24.000 So it's not out online? 1.00

01:43:25.000 They would kill each other.

01:43:26.000 You can see that they should leave that online. 0.53

01:43:28.000 It might be online.

01:43:29.000 I agree.

01:43:29.000 That's a mistake.

01:43:30.000 They should leave that in. 0.98

01:43:31.000 Dude, I want John Jones to go full fucking Batman Joker. 0.99

01:43:35.000 Just be the heel. 1.00

01:43:36.000 The darkness.

01:43:37.000 But I'll tell you what, man.

01:43:37.000 Daniel was pretty intense, too, man.

01:43:39.000 When Daniel was looking at him, sometimes fighters will say things, and he'll go, well, he doesn't really believe that, but he's saying that.

01:43:45.000 Daniel was telling him, I'm going to do everything in my power. 0.59

01:43:48.000 I'm willing to die to beat you. 1.00

01:43:50.000 I'm willing to die to beat you. 1.00

01:43:51.000 What did John say? 1.00

01:43:52.000 He goes, you better be willing to.

01:43:53.000 Yeah.

01:43:54.000 John wasn't shaken by it at all.

01:43:55.000 But Daniel was super emotional.

01:43:57.000 It was intense, man.

01:43:58.000 It was really, really, really intense.

01:44:00.000 I'm excited for that fight.

01:44:01.000 When did they fight?

01:44:02.000 April.

01:44:03.000 I'm excited for that fight.

01:44:04.000 I don't think it changes, but I'm excited for it.

01:44:06.000 Why don't you come?

01:44:07.000 You want to come?

01:44:08.000 When is it?

01:44:09.000 Because we might be on tour.

01:44:10.000 We have a Midwest tour in April.

01:44:11.000 Are you guys on tour?

01:44:12.000 Why don't you guys both come?

01:44:13.000 We could, but we have a show, I think.

01:44:15.000 It's like April 23rd and 24th?

01:44:16.000 Oh, you have a show that night?

01:44:17.000 No, we have a show in Oklahoma.

01:44:19.000 Oh, we do.

01:44:19.000 Well, what a great move, being in Oklahoma.

01:44:22.000 You know damn well I don't go to UFC events.

01:44:24.000 They're like, hey, can we talk to you in the back?

01:44:29.000 What are they going to be mad at you if you hype up the fights?

01:44:31.000 Hey, you mind taking an interview with Erdogan?

01:44:33.000 Back here, just like Robert De Niro.

01:44:35.000 Yeah, back there.

01:44:36.000 Keep going.

01:44:36.000 Why is that flag?

01:44:37.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:44:39.000 Yeah, Schaub died. 1.00

01:44:40.000 Who killed him?

01:44:40.000 We have no idea.

01:44:41.000 He just seen me.

01:44:42.000 Sorry.

01:44:42.000 The Dana White entourage kills me.

01:44:44.000 I love your child for you.

01:44:44.000 At the end of the day, what you do for the UFC by talking about fights, it hypes up fights.

01:44:50.000 Yes.

01:44:50.000 You know, you gotta let it be a little bit looser.

01:44:54.000 Because you're dealing with...

01:44:55.000 500 different fighters, so there's hundreds of potential matchups and maybe thousands if you count them all up, right?

01:45:03.000 And, you know, there's a lot of disagreement, there's a lot of debate, but what you guys do with the Fighter and the Kid, Fighter and the Kid podcast, F-T-C-K, L-B-Q-T... TFATK.com is the website.

01:45:16.000 TFATK, man.

01:45:17.000 For my tour schedule.

01:45:18.000 What you guys do is you create interest.

01:45:21.000 You get people excited.

01:45:23.000 You discuss things.

01:45:24.000 It's fun.

01:45:24.000 It's entertaining.

01:45:25.000 This is the thing, though, Joe.

01:45:26.000 It's like, who pays our bills?

01:45:28.000 Not the UFC. I can say whatever I want the realest way.

01:45:31.000 Fox doesn't pay my bills, so there's no fucking regulator on there. 0.97

01:45:35.000 And you're fair. 0.98

01:45:36.000 And it's rare.

01:45:37.000 Not really.

01:45:38.000 Sometimes.

01:45:39.000 Well, I think that what you guys do...

01:45:41.000 It's valuable, though, is what I was trying to say.

01:45:44.000 It's worth a lot.

01:45:45.000 You can't always control the message that comes out when it comes to something as exciting and dynamic and multifaceted as MMA fights. 0.98

01:45:54.000 There's just too much shit going on. 0.51

01:45:56.000 And then when it comes to things like controversial things like the Reebok deal or any other kind of sponsored situation or anything along those lines where there's a lot of disagreement... 0.99

01:46:06.000 You gotta let all that play out.

01:46:09.000 If you don't let all that play out, you're dealing with a super dynamic sport, and there's so many different areas to explore, and all those areas create interest.

01:46:18.000 And I think by limiting the conversation, what you do is you limit the amount of interest.

01:46:23.000 Because there's going to be disagreements.

01:46:24.000 There's going to be people that are pro this and pro that and pro her and pro him. 0.99

01:46:28.000 And if you've got a guy like you who's controversial and says a bunch of crazy shit, all that does is blossom. 0.98

01:46:35.000 And at the end of the day, you're not a bad guy. 0.98

01:46:37.000 You like MMA. You love the UFC. Love it.

01:46:40.000 You're genuinely intrigued about these matchups.

01:46:43.000 You just have a controversial point of view.

01:46:45.000 That shouldn't be silent.

01:46:46.000 I agree.

01:46:46.000 And it's also that, you know, with the Reebok deal or any of these matchups, when you turn on, let's say you watch UFC tonight, who's paying their bills?

01:46:54.000 These guys can't be real.

01:46:56.000 The fighters with the Reebok deal, they can't come out because they can get backlash.

01:47:00.000 So I was the first guy where, yeah, they're censored.

01:47:02.000 So I was the first guy where, I'm not censored.

01:47:05.000 So I can say how it is, like, oh, you're a hater.

01:47:07.000 I'm not a hater.

01:47:08.000 I'm one of the first guys that, they can't do anything to me.

01:47:11.000 There's literally nothing to do.

01:47:12.000 So they banned me from UFC tonight and UFC Fight Pass. 0.98

01:47:16.000 I don't give a fuck. 0.98

01:47:17.000 I want double the money. 0.99

01:47:18.000 That's why I got banned.

01:47:20.000 For the first time, there's a guy with a voice.

01:47:25.000 Reebok's not paying the bills.

01:47:26.000 Zufa's not paying the bills.

01:47:27.000 Dana's not in my ear going, make sure you promote this. 0.99

01:47:29.000 I do what the fuck I want. 0.98

01:47:30.000 It would be a shame if they were, because it would be a shame if you stopped doing it the way you're doing it, because that's what's fun about it. 1.00

01:47:35.000 What's fun about your show is that you know that if you get Brennan wound up, he'll start talking some crazy shit. 0.99

01:47:40.000 I do. 1.00

01:47:41.000 And I do.

01:47:41.000 And the MMA journalists, they probably wrote three stories already during the time we've been doing this podcast.

01:47:46.000 They wrote three stories. 0.94

01:47:47.000 One about Joe Rogan disrespects Misha's ass and Brian Caraway. 0.99

01:47:50.000 That's probably one of them. 0.98

01:47:50.000 And you guys bullied me. 0.98

01:47:51.000 Something about fried chicken.

01:47:53.000 Something about fried chicken.

01:47:54.000 We bullied you.

01:47:55.000 And I'm bullied.

01:47:56.000 And I'm sure there's ARCA. I love Christy Mack.

01:47:58.000 Yeah, Brian Callen is a wrestling expert.

01:48:01.000 And kick expert.

01:48:03.000 Brian Callen, breaking news.

01:48:04.000 How you beat Conor McGregor.

01:48:05.000 Wrestling.

01:48:06.000 Take him down. 0.57

01:48:06.000 Not impressed with Conor McGregor's kick. 0.57

01:48:08.000 Take him down. 0.57

01:48:08.000 What? 0.57

01:48:09.000 What?

01:48:10.000 Then someone shows a highlight reel of Conor McGregor doing spinning wheel kicks, front kicks, and dropping Chad Vendez.

01:48:17.000 The thing about the internet is I'll get 50 guys going, dude, you were the only one who knew about the kicks.

01:48:22.000 I can tell you.

01:48:23.000 And then you get like six people going, you should never talk about MMA. You're a piece of shit. 1.00

01:48:27.000 Well, you're going to have both. 1.00

01:48:29.000 For sure.

01:48:29.000 I don't I don't read them anymore ever since talking to you.

01:48:32.000 You're like, don't read that shit. 0.99

01:48:34.000 You should choose who you communicate with in this life. 0.99

01:48:37.000 And one of the things that's good about criticism and online criticism is you can learn how other people view you.

01:48:41.000 And you can go, okay, yeah, I see that's right.

01:48:44.000 That's kind of valid.

01:48:45.000 Maybe I came off douchey, or maybe I should preface that better, or maybe I should explain myself better.

01:48:49.000 But then you realize that some of the people are just trying to hurt your feelings.

01:48:53.000 Yes.

01:48:53.000 And then you have to realize, well, what kind of a person just tries to hurt your feelings?

01:48:59.000 Losers. 1.00

01:48:59.000 Yes. 1.00

01:48:59.000 That's it. 1.00

01:49:00.000 100%.

01:49:00.000 Anybody who's trying to hurt your feelings.

01:49:05.000 Reaching out to Big Brown, trying to make you feel bad.

01:49:08.000 Why are they doing that?

01:49:09.000 Why waste all that time?

01:49:11.000 Is there humor involved in what you're doing?

01:49:13.000 Are other people enjoying it?

01:49:15.000 Is there a method to it?

01:49:16.000 Do you have a message?

01:49:18.000 Or are you just trying to hurt Big Brown's feelings?

01:49:20.000 But it's also, you know you're doing something right.

01:49:22.000 Exactly. 1.00

01:49:22.000 Because you're putting all this positive energy out and people are like, fuck! 1.00

01:49:25.000 I thought this dumbass was done once he lost to Travis Brown. 1.00

01:49:29.000 Wrong! 1.00

01:49:30.000 Keepin' on, keepin' on!

01:49:31.000 But anybody, look at Kanye West.

01:49:33.000 I'm not a Kanye West fan.

01:49:34.000 I mean, I hear from Jamie, his music is excellent.

01:49:39.000 I'll tell you a Kanye West story after this. 0.98

01:49:41.000 I think his clothes are ridiculous. 0.93

01:49:43.000 I love his shoes. 1.00

01:49:44.000 But I love the fact that he'll tweet something really stupid and stir all these dummies up. 1.00

01:49:48.000 Oh, me too. 1.00

01:49:49.000 His feeding frenzy that he tweets, Bill Cosby's innocent!

01:49:52.000 Right before his album drops.

01:49:54.000 I mean, come on. 0.99

01:49:55.000 That is fucking funny. 1.00

01:49:56.000 That's some master manipulator type shit. 1.00

01:49:58.000 I ended up marketing genius. 0.99

01:49:59.000 You know, I used to always go bad on Kanye, and I went out, and I was like, why is this guy, like, everybody likes him, and I know people are very intelligent and speak highly, so I tend to, I looked at this body of work.

01:50:09.000 That dude produced...

01:50:11.000 Well, I think I could take Kanye down, but what got to me is I was like, this guy's produced a shitload of music and it's all different, so I went and bought every song.

01:50:21.000 I bought every song he's ever done, and I spent three days listening to every song like three times, and I got the lyrics, right?

01:50:29.000 So I was like, alright, alright, look, you cannot deny that this guy is putting out crazy amounts of work, and it's really good.

01:50:36.000 He's very talented.

01:50:38.000 But then I started listening to interviews that he was giving.

01:50:40.000 Like, long ones.

01:50:41.000 Long form interviews.

01:50:42.000 And I have to say, I came full circle.

01:50:45.000 The musical genius.

01:50:46.000 And he's got... 1.00

01:50:46.000 But he's also got shit to say that I agree with. 1.00

01:50:49.000 Like, I'm aligned with him. 0.99

01:50:50.000 I think he has... 1.00

01:50:51.000 He also trips over his own dick. 1.00

01:50:52.000 Yes. 1.00

01:50:53.000 And that's the problem. 0.85

01:50:54.000 And you can relate to a poor Chicago black kid because you grew up rich and...

01:50:58.000 No, I can relate to an artist who says, I'm not going to limit myself, and I'm not going to censor myself, and I'm going to speak my mind because we live. 0.92

01:51:05.000 He goes, I feel like people are crazy.

01:51:07.000 Is it just about your Maybach and just about your status, or is it about something else?

01:51:11.000 And he was very eloquent about how he spoke.

01:51:14.000 I love what he said on Jimmy Kimmel.

01:51:15.000 That rant he had about being an artist?

01:51:17.000 I told you to watch that. 0.99

01:51:18.000 Fucking great. 0.98

01:51:20.000 I'm a Kanye fan, so I tried to convert Brian, and I finally did. 0.98

01:51:23.000 Do you own a pair of Yeezys?

01:51:25.000 I just got them for my birthday.

01:51:27.000 They're so hard to get.

01:51:28.000 I know Jamie's jealous.

01:51:29.000 I just got some.

01:51:30.000 200 pairs of shoes.

01:51:31.000 He takes pictures of them.

01:51:32.000 That's cool.

01:51:33.000 I have a lot of shoes.

01:51:33.000 Not really.

01:51:34.000 It's not that cool.

01:51:35.000 You know what I love, man?

01:51:35.000 These are my favorite.

01:51:36.000 These new fucking Solomon. 1.00

01:51:38.000 They're like a hiking shoe that's a running shoe. 1.00

01:51:41.000 That's a Joe Rogan shoe. 1.00

01:51:42.000 You run up hills with these bitches. 1.00

01:51:43.000 Look at the tread in those motherfuckers. 1.00

01:51:45.000 That's a dad shoe. 1.00

01:51:45.000 That's an athletic dad shoe right there. 1.00

01:51:47.000 Son F. It's a fucking mountain hunter shoe, you cunt. 1.00

01:51:49.000 Mountain hunter dad shoe. 1.00

01:51:50.000 Yeah, I'd run hills with these motherfuckers on. 1.00

01:51:52.000 I'd run hills with these dudes. 1.00

01:51:53.000 He fucking killed animals in those things. 0.99

01:51:56.000 If you had like hiking boots, right, but you'd turn them into a running shoe. 1.00

01:51:59.000 Let me see it again.

01:52:00.000 Right here.

01:52:00.000 Yeah, maybe I'll wear those for my next time.

01:52:02.000 They're super light, real thin sole, and you could fucking, you feel the ground with them. 0.51

01:52:06.000 Can we go hiking? 0.87

01:52:07.000 Can we go hunting in those? 0.94

01:52:08.000 Yes, you could, but you wouldn't because you would get shit in your, well, unless you were in a place that didn't have like foliage. 0.98

01:52:12.000 You're not taking those from Alaska. 0.98

01:52:14.000 You want a higher, yeah, you want a higher ankle. 0.93

01:52:16.000 You want something that protects your ankle a little bit more, but if you're running heels, is what I use these for, they're fucking awesome, man. 0.68

01:52:21.000 This is for me and you, Mr. Rogan.

01:52:23.000 You like shoes for their effectiveness and what they actually do.

01:52:26.000 Yes.

01:52:27.000 I just like the way they look.

01:52:28.000 I just want them to look good in my jeans.

01:52:29.000 You would bind your feet like an... 0.65

01:52:31.000 Medieval Chinese woman if it looked good. 1.00

01:52:33.000 You don't give a shit. 1.00

01:52:35.000 For the Yeezys, I was like, shit, they don't have a 13? 1.00

01:52:37.000 How's a 12-fit? 0.99

01:52:37.000 Pretty tight, I'll take. 0.99

01:52:38.000 I wore these the other day at REI, and they're like, ooh, nice Solomons.

01:52:43.000 Those kind of guys.

01:52:43.000 Those guys are balls deep in those functional shoes.

01:52:46.000 The guys who would buy one of them water bladders that you put in your backpack. 1.00

01:52:53.000 Carry a water bottle, you fuck! 1.00

01:52:55.000 I like my salesman to be opinionated. 1.00

01:52:58.000 I went to buy boots at REI for a hunting trip, and I was like, I'm going to Alaska.

01:53:04.000 And I love a guy who's like, ooh, well, let me think about this.

01:53:09.000 Now, is it going to be in the winter?

01:53:11.000 Yeah, I'm looking at precipitation right now.

01:53:13.000 Let me pull up my graph.

01:53:14.000 That's my guy.

01:53:15.000 That's my guy.

01:53:16.000 Well, this soul is a fourth of an inch.

01:53:18.000 I'm going to say you're going to want that.

01:53:20.000 I want a guy who speaks in graphs and numbers.

01:53:23.000 When I buy a car, I want to hear the dude give me, well, we've got more cabin room in this.

01:53:27.000 I'm all about that guy, the detail guy.

01:53:29.000 I talked to a guy at the BMW dealership once.

01:53:32.000 We're discussing something about an M3, and he didn't know.

01:53:35.000 Jack, sure.

01:53:36.000 I got so turned up, I almost wanted to get away from them.

01:53:39.000 I want to want to torque, weight, all that.

01:53:41.000 Does this one have the active suspension? 1.00

01:53:45.000 They gotta know their shit, man. 0.99

01:53:46.000 If you don't know, this is one of the best cars you guys have ever made. 1.00

01:53:50.000 It's also your job, bitch. 1.00

01:53:52.000 You're wearing a suit working on BMW for sure. 1.00

01:53:54.000 Tell me about the car.

01:53:55.000 You're selling these things.

01:53:56.000 How do you not know?

01:53:57.000 How do I know more than you?

01:53:58.000 I'm a comedian.

01:53:59.000 When I went to look at my car, I did a little private experiment.

01:54:01.000 I was looking at Audis.

01:54:02.000 I was looking at Toyotas.

01:54:03.000 I was looking at Lexus.

01:54:04.000 And I did a little thing.

01:54:06.000 It's a chauvinistic thing, but I found that women, sales women, They're not up on the details like guys are. 0.90

01:54:12.000 Guys love numbers, stats, and all that.

01:54:15.000 And I found that women would usually go, you know, they knew the car, but they'd be like, I don't know about the... 1.00

01:54:21.000 That's something that I'd have to ask.

01:54:23.000 You should know that.

01:54:24.000 Yeah, guys.

01:54:25.000 You should definitely know that.

01:54:26.000 Dude, I go in with all my research done.

01:54:28.000 I don't want this dude yapping my ear off. 0.99

01:54:30.000 I know what the fuck I want. 0.99

01:54:31.000 Like when I bought my Prius, which the lease is up next month, thank baby Jesus, I'm I bought it just for camp because I was driving all over California. 0.99

01:54:37.000 The lease is up, but when I bought that thing, he goes, oh, you want a test drive? 0.97

01:54:41.000 I'm like, nah, bitch, it's a Prius. 0.99

01:54:42.000 I'll figure it out. 0.99

01:54:43.000 I don't want to take it around the block.

01:54:45.000 It's depressing.

01:54:45.000 I'm just doing it for gas mileage.

01:54:47.000 Then I got in, I was like, I need to figure something out.

01:54:51.000 Oh, you had to go through the book?

01:54:52.000 Prius would bum you out.

01:54:53.000 You drive your Porsche, like, I beat him everywhere.

01:54:56.000 You drive your Porsche very carefully.

01:54:58.000 I only open up when it's necessary. 0.96

01:55:00.000 Well, he's not a dickhead.

01:55:01.000 But if you had one of those cars, you would appreciate what one of those cars can do.

01:55:05.000 It's a ride.

01:55:06.000 It's a piece of art.

01:55:07.000 Yeah.

01:55:07.000 When you're driving that thing, you're driving a finely engineered machine that's perfectly balanced to take corners.

01:55:13.000 Preach.

01:55:14.000 Preach Joe Rogan.

01:55:15.000 That's what it is. 0.99

01:55:15.000 And it has this fucking sound of that flat six in the back. 0.99

01:55:19.000 That's why I don't mind driving. 1.00

01:55:20.000 I get in my car, I'm like, fuck yeah. 0.99

01:55:22.000 Hey man, I don't take corners. 0.99

01:55:23.000 You know what I mean, guys?

01:55:24.000 I'm in traffic a lot, but thanks.

01:55:26.000 No, it doesn't matter.

01:55:27.000 You can occasionally get out of traffic. 0.99

01:55:29.000 And when you do, it's way more fun to be in his car than your fucking granddad mobile. 0.99

01:55:32.000 You don't know. 0.99

01:55:33.000 Granddad mobile.

01:55:34.000 I'm the guy when I see other Porsche on the road, I go... 0.99

01:55:37.000 Fucking thumbs up. 1.00

01:55:38.000 Fucking A, man. 1.00

01:55:39.000 You know what I saw the other day? 1.00

01:55:41.000 It's an elite club.

01:55:42.000 I had to wave to this guy and give him a thumbs up.

01:55:44.000 He had a Corvette Z06. The new Z06, the top comes off, so it becomes like a target top.

01:55:50.000 It'll melt your face.

01:55:51.000 Oh my god.

01:55:52.000 Crazy fast.

01:55:53.000 It sounds so good. 1.00

01:55:56.000 Nothing sounds better than a fucking American V8. And you gave a serious sound. 0.99

01:56:04.000 This is a sound.

01:56:05.000 Woo! 0.99

01:56:06.000 You know what I think?

01:56:07.000 You know what I think?

01:56:07.000 When I think of that, when you make that noise, I go, I wouldn't hear my books on tape as loudly.

01:56:15.000 Oh, man.

01:56:16.000 That's the difference between us.

01:56:18.000 That's literally where my head went.

01:56:20.000 I was like, ooh, I couldn't really listen to a book, a novel.

01:56:23.000 My wife gets in my car the other day. 0.99

01:56:24.000 She goes, what the fuck are you listening to? 0.99

01:56:26.000 I was listening to the Knock On podcast. 1.00

01:56:29.000 Knock On is an archery-based podcast by this guy John Dudley. 0.99

01:56:33.000 Goddamn, son. 0.98

01:56:34.000 Podcast is all about archery. 1.00

01:56:37.000 Yeah, he talks about fucking super technical shit about archery. 0.99

01:56:41.000 You love it? 1.00

01:56:42.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:56:42.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

01:56:43.000 I listen to it every day. 1.00

01:56:44.000 Dude, we still haven't sighted my bow, bro.

01:56:47.000 I know, I know, I know.

01:56:48.000 We've got to get your bow to a range, and we've got to get your draw length measured and stuff like that. 0.89

01:56:53.000 Obviously.

01:56:53.000 We can do that.

01:56:54.000 It's super important, Brian, that you do that.

01:56:56.000 We're going to go out in August, is what we're going to go out.

01:56:58.000 So what we're going to have is a good solid two to three months of serious preparation.

01:57:04.000 It's called training camp.

01:57:05.000 What I want is you to be able to shoot accurately to 20 yards.

01:57:09.000 And then what I want you to do is not shoot anything outside of 20 yards.

01:57:12.000 They call me dead-eye.

01:57:12.000 In that amount of time, I think we can get that done.

01:57:15.000 I think we can get you to it.

01:57:16.000 Hey Joe, I want to save your time because you're a busy man.

01:57:19.000 You know Brian's not a hunter, right?

01:57:20.000 Hey, no, I'm a hunter.

01:57:21.000 No, no, Brian's a hunter.

01:57:22.000 They call me dead-eye, bro.

01:57:24.000 They call me dead-eye. 1.00

01:57:25.000 I watched him shoot several deer, and he is steady on the fucking trigger. 1.00

01:57:29.000 He squeezes. 1.00

01:57:30.000 He doesn't jerk it.

01:57:31.000 He's got a great shot.

01:57:32.000 He's got a great aim.

01:57:33.000 No, he doesn't panic.

01:57:35.000 He makes good shots.

01:57:37.000 How long are you guys going for?

01:57:38.000 We'll probably go for five or six.

01:57:39.000 Hey, don't tell him.

01:57:40.000 Don't tell him.

01:57:40.000 Don't worry about it.

01:57:41.000 You know what?

01:57:41.000 We'll be back.

01:57:42.000 We're going to be back.

01:57:42.000 We'll be back with meat.

01:57:44.000 Just know that you wait by the campfire. 1.00

01:57:46.000 We'll be back with fucking meat. 1.00

01:57:47.000 You enjoy your cushy life with your cappuccino. 1.00

01:57:49.000 We'll come back with the fucking meat and cover it in mosquito bites. 1.00

01:57:53.000 But it's worth it. 1.00

01:57:53.000 We're going hard. 1.00

01:57:54.000 And dysentery.

01:57:55.000 We're going to Nevada.

01:57:56.000 And we're going into the mountains of Nevada.

01:57:57.000 We're going to archery hunt for mule deer.

01:57:59.000 Yeah.

01:57:59.000 And so we're going to backpack in there, and we'll be camping, and we're going to be glassing and hiking.

01:58:05.000 It'll be warm.

01:58:05.000 Six days warm.

01:58:06.000 I don't care.

01:58:08.000 It's five days too long for me.

01:58:09.000 A couple things you've got to do.

01:58:11.000 We've got to figure out the bow thing.

01:58:12.000 That's a big one.

01:58:13.000 Yeah.

01:58:14.000 That's the biggest one.

01:58:15.000 We've got to get you hooked up with a bunch of different kinds of equipment.

01:58:19.000 Because with archery, one of the things that's really important, because you're getting really close to them, you've got to know which way the wind's blowing.

01:58:24.000 It's like a little talcum powder bottle, and you squeeze it into the air, and it blows up, and then it goes which way the air goes.

01:58:30.000 You've got to start listening to this archery podcast, as a matter of fact.

01:58:32.000 It's too deep for you.

01:58:33.000 No, you guys should start your own podcast about archery. 1.00

01:58:37.000 If you get to, like, the 1% of 1% that give a fuck about archery, that's the kind of shit I'm into. 0.99

01:58:44.000 I'm into, like, leveling your second and third axis. 0.99

01:58:47.000 I'm into multi-pin sights on a dovetail housing.

01:58:51.000 I'm into, do you use a kisser button or no kisser button?

01:58:53.000 What grain arrows?

01:58:55.000 What's the spine?

01:58:55.000 Is that your number one passion right now, archery?

01:58:58.000 See, I shot 200 arrows the other day.

01:59:00.000 Oh, my God.

01:59:01.000 I got problems.

01:59:01.000 What is it about- Of course you do.

01:59:03.000 I'm insane. 0.98

01:59:04.000 I'm fucking- What is it about the tactile experience of archery that you love? 0.99

01:59:09.000 Like, what is it? 0.99

01:59:10.000 I told you, there's something wrong with me, man. 0.99

01:59:12.000 When I get into something, it's like that thing is like a fucking house could be on fire. 0.99

01:59:17.000 If I'm shooting bullseyes, I'm good. 0.99

01:59:19.000 I don't know what it is, man.

01:59:23.000 There's a switch that goes off, and then I'm no longer driving anymore.

01:59:27.000 But Joe, don't you think if you picked up golf, you'd be...

01:59:31.000 Yes!

01:59:31.000 That's why I never played golf, because I'm scared.

01:59:33.000 Keep them away from golf, dude.

01:59:33.000 You'll freak out.

01:59:34.000 I don't think archery's your passion.

01:59:37.000 I think whatever you got into, you're That's true. 0.79

01:59:40.000 That's true, but it has to be cool and archery is fucking awesome. 0.98

01:59:43.000 Don't play golf, bro. 0.99

01:59:44.000 You will lose your life.

01:59:46.000 Look, I've lost my life with pool.

01:59:47.000 Dude, let me tell you something.

01:59:48.000 I have dreams someday. 0.98

01:59:51.000 Sometimes I sit around here and I'll do a bunch of podcasts and I'm like, ah, fucking, you know what I think I'm going to do? 0.95

01:59:56.000 I'm just going to quit everything and just go play pool on tour. 0.97

01:59:59.000 Okay, that's intense.

02:00:00.000 I understand that though.

02:00:01.000 I understand that.

02:00:01.000 I'll run a few racks Sounds like a bad idea.

02:00:03.000 I'll smoke a fat joint and play with me.

02:00:05.000 Fitzsimmons is coming over the other day.

02:00:07.000 Not tomorrow.

02:00:08.000 Wednesday?

02:00:08.000 Thursday.

02:00:09.000 Wednesday?

02:00:09.000 Tomorrow.

02:00:10.000 Tomorrow.

02:00:10.000 When Fitzsimmons come over, you know what I'm really happy about?

02:00:12.000 We're going to play pool.

02:00:13.000 Yeah.

02:00:13.000 That's what I'm excited about.

02:00:14.000 I'm going to see him.

02:00:15.000 We're going to play some pool.

02:00:16.000 For sure don't give everything up and start a pool.

02:00:18.000 I feel like doing it sometimes.

02:00:20.000 This sounds weird, but I watch videos.

02:00:22.000 I'm telling you, man.

02:00:23.000 I watch videos on boxing footwork and tennis strokes.

02:00:27.000 Exactly.

02:00:27.000 And I practice that tennis stroke alone in my room.

02:00:31.000 What's wrong with you?

02:00:32.000 I love it.

02:00:33.000 Dude, I have a release that I put.

02:00:34.000 I put my archer release.

02:00:35.000 I have a training tool where it's like a rope that I pull back and I hold it.

02:00:40.000 And I'm watching TV. I'm firing off shots.

02:00:43.000 So I'm clicking this and I'm watching TV. I'm by myself.

02:00:45.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

02:00:46.000 I'm just sitting there watching TV and I'll fire off shots. 0.99

02:00:47.000 But there's something zen about that.

02:00:48.000 There's something zen about it, right?

02:00:50.000 That's intense, man.

02:00:51.000 Once you kill an elk with a bow and arrow, dude, the world becomes a totally different place. 0.99

02:00:55.000 It becomes a totally different place because you realize how, first of all, how fucking... 0.99

02:00:59.000 Primal and crazy that is. 0.97

02:01:01.000 And then also getting your food that way.

02:01:03.000 You're like, okay, I'm out of the factory farming system.

02:01:06.000 If I could do this every year, I'm out for life.

02:01:09.000 Now I'm completely responsible for all the meat I get. 0.98

02:01:12.000 I shoot one animal. 0.86

02:01:13.000 I eat that animal for a year. 1.00

02:01:15.000 Damn. 1.00

02:01:15.000 One year? 1.00

02:01:16.000 Yeah, well, you know, you eat other stuff too, like I've shot a deer or two, and I give, you know what, I get almost as much satisfaction giving away to friends.

02:01:25.000 I love it.

02:01:26.000 I love giving away. 1.00

02:01:27.000 That elk, I ate the shit. 1.00

02:01:29.000 It's delicious. 1.00

02:01:30.000 What happened to that elk sausage you made?

02:01:31.000 I got a gang of it.

02:01:32.000 It's at home.

02:01:33.000 You want some more?

02:01:34.000 There's probably some in there.

02:01:35.000 It's like dried, right?

02:01:36.000 We're cutting it up.

02:01:36.000 No, it's breakfast sausage.

02:01:38.000 No, summer sausage.

02:01:39.000 Summer sausage.

02:01:40.000 I'll eat some of that, too.

02:01:41.000 It's in the back.

02:01:41.000 I'll have some.

02:01:42.000 I keep rolls of it in the refrigerator back there. 0.99

02:01:45.000 It's fucking delicious. 0.98

02:01:46.000 I think it's raw, though. 0.99

02:01:47.000 No, no, no, no, no.

02:01:48.000 It's cooked.

02:01:48.000 No, it's cooked.

02:01:49.000 Oh, yeah.

02:01:49.000 Go ahead and bring that out, B. No, it's cooked.

02:01:51.000 It's summer sausage.

02:01:53.000 You can cook it.

02:01:54.000 You can slice it.

02:01:56.000 Put some eggs on it.

02:01:57.000 A little hot sauce.

02:01:58.000 My mouth is watering.

02:01:59.000 Well, I have a venison sausage that I had made, too.

02:02:02.000 Oh, my God.

02:02:02.000 That sounds tasty, too.

02:02:03.000 I had some the other day with breakfast.

02:02:04.000 I feed my family with that, man. 1.00

02:02:07.000 You guys keep killing shit, and then I'll take some of the sausage. 1.00

02:02:09.000 Dude, look, I like giving away almost as much as I like eating it. 1.00

02:02:13.000 I really do.

02:02:14.000 It's dope, man.

02:02:14.000 It's awesome.

02:02:15.000 Like, Duncan sent me a picture.

02:02:16.000 Him, his girlfriend, and Timothy Leary's son were eating elk meatballs from an elk- Oh, nice.

02:02:23.000 Sounds good.

02:02:24.000 Oh, it's delicious.

02:02:24.000 Dude, I'll tell you what I can't get enough of is those kombuchas.

02:02:27.000 I know, right?

02:02:27.000 I drink three a day now.

02:02:28.000 Is that a problem you think?

02:02:29.000 GTs?

02:02:29.000 No.

02:02:29.000 I love them.

02:02:30.000 People think we're doing an ad.

02:02:31.000 Every time I do something on Instagram, people go, everything. 0.99

02:02:34.000 No, man, I just fucking love kombuchas. 0.99

02:02:36.000 But not the bullshit clear can. 1.00

02:02:37.000 It has to be the black 21 and over. 1.00

02:02:39.000 Yeah.

02:02:39.000 I like to live on the wild side.

02:02:40.000 Well, explain that because people don't know what you mean.

02:02:42.000 Well, the clear can, they basically produce those so they could sell in grocery stores because they have no alcohol content in them.

02:02:47.000 Very little.

02:02:48.000 Very little.

02:02:49.000 So the black cans, they have more alcohol content, how they should be, how the tea is naturally fermented.

02:02:54.000 So you want the black can that says 21 and over.

02:02:56.000 It's not a black can, it's a bottle, and the difference is the label on the top, it's just the plastic rim around the bottle top when you open it is black.

02:03:06.000 But bro, even the bottles are different on the 21 and over.

02:03:09.000 Yeah, they're darker.

02:03:09.000 Yes.

02:03:10.000 It's something about the fermentation.

02:03:13.000 Do we have a knife for that?

02:03:14.000 I got a samurai sword over there from the 1500s. 0.88

02:03:18.000 Go ahead and slice that thing up with a samurai sword. 0.99

02:03:21.000 That is a real samurai sword from the 1500s.

02:03:25.000 Yes, it is.

02:03:26.000 That is a real samurai sword.

02:03:28.000 It's expensive.

02:03:29.000 Is it?

02:03:30.000 Aubrey gave it to me. 1.00

02:03:32.000 Open that bitch up. 1.00

02:03:34.000 Yeah, it's not, but anyway. 0.99

02:03:36.000 I feel like this is dangerous.

02:03:37.000 See, that's what you... 1.00

02:03:37.000 Your baller friends, that's the kind of shit they give you. 1.00

02:03:40.000 But this isn't from the 1500s. 1.00

02:03:42.000 They fooled you to steal an expert on this.

02:03:44.000 Oh, yes it is. 1.00

02:03:44.000 Shut your fucking mouth. 1.00

02:03:45.000 It's like we're on Pawn Stars right now. 1.00

02:03:48.000 Shattering Rogan's dreams.

02:03:49.000 Yeah, it's an excellent replica.

02:03:51.000 Thank you so much.

02:03:52.000 No, that is 100% real.

02:03:54.000 Of course.

02:03:54.000 The blade itself...

02:03:55.000 You tell me that shit was $49.99, Brian? 1.00

02:03:57.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:03:58.000 They refurbish the handle and make it all perfect, but that blade is from the 1500s.

02:04:02.000 Yeah, that's a lie.

02:04:02.000 That's nice.

02:04:04.000 The thing looks pretty fucking real. 0.99

02:04:05.000 That's real as fuck, dude. 1.00

02:04:07.000 Hey, go up and cut that fucking sausage and stop jacking off the samurai sword. 1.00

02:04:10.000 I wonder if people have died by that sword. 1.00

02:04:12.000 Good chance, if it's that old.

02:04:14.000 I wonder.

02:04:14.000 You know, if you think about all the samurai swords in the 1500s, how many...

02:04:17.000 Japan was in a continuous civil war for about 300 years, so there's a good chance. 1.00

02:04:21.000 But what I'm thinking is, is it like pistols?

02:04:23.000 Like, most people who have pistols never killed anybody.

02:04:25.000 True.

02:04:25.000 You know what I mean?

02:04:26.000 Is that what it was back in the day with samurai swords?

02:04:29.000 Or were they just more liberal? 1.00

02:04:29.000 I think they did more gangster shit. 1.00

02:04:31.000 Yeah, probably. 1.00

02:04:33.000 Take a little bit of that elk, son. 1.00

02:04:35.000 Slice into that bitch. 1.00

02:04:36.000 Oh yeah, Brian. 1.00

02:04:38.000 The plastic is getting you.

02:04:39.000 Take a piece.

02:04:40.000 Hey, back to the kombucha, though.

02:04:42.000 People try telling me the benefits are fake on that.

02:04:45.000 And what's so?

02:04:46.000 Just saying it's not that good for you.

02:04:47.000 It's all...

02:04:48.000 It's probiotic.

02:04:49.000 Well, probiotic is fermented vegetables and fermented mushrooms and things along those lines, which is essentially what kombucha is.

02:04:59.000 It's like a fungus.

02:05:00.000 It's very good for you.

02:05:01.000 It's very good.

02:05:02.000 You want some of this, Joe?

02:05:02.000 Sure.

02:05:02.000 Can you eat some of this?

02:05:03.000 Yeah, I can eat that. 1.00

02:05:04.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:05:05.000 It's very good for you. 1.00

02:05:07.000 Probiotics are super important.

02:05:08.000 Gut health.

02:05:10.000 You know what's a great way of getting it?

02:05:12.000 I love kimchi, man.

02:05:13.000 I've been getting into kimchi.

02:05:15.000 I found down near the Calabasas.

02:05:18.000 You ever go to that Calabasas Farmer's Market?

02:05:20.000 Erwan.

02:05:20.000 Well, the Farmer's Market is amazing.

02:05:23.000 Well, I'll take you.

02:05:24.000 I'll take you.

02:05:26.000 Calabasas Farmer's Market has these local kombuchas and local kimchis.

02:05:32.000 So good.

02:05:32.000 From people that run farms nearby, and then they have their own spicy...

02:05:38.000 They taste pretty good?

02:05:39.000 Yeah, it's really good.

02:05:40.000 I love them, man.

02:05:41.000 I love it.

02:05:41.000 I don't drink soda.

02:05:42.000 I haven't drank soda in forever, but these replace that for me.

02:05:45.000 They're way healthier.

02:05:46.000 Well, kimchi is actually fermented cabbage.

02:05:49.000 It's like a spicy fermented cabbage.

02:05:51.000 But my point is that it's a really good source of probiotics.

02:05:54.000 I've been eating it every morning.

02:05:55.000 I don't know if it's because of that, but I feel amazing.

02:05:59.000 Kimchi's fantastic for you.

02:06:00.000 It's probably that, Brian.

02:06:01.000 It's really good for you.

02:06:02.000 Well, gut health changes everything, man.

02:06:05.000 If you listen to some of my podcasts I've done with Rhonda Patrick, she goes deep into gut health and how important it is for all sorts of aspects of your personality, the way you think about things.

02:06:14.000 It's amazing.

02:06:15.000 They did that with rats where they changed the gut health in the rat, like the bacteria. 0.90

02:06:21.000 And some rats...

02:06:22.000 With healthy bacteria in their gut, kept fighting, I guess, just to get out of the water.

02:06:29.000 And others, when they changed the bacteria in their gut, it actually changed the serotonin levels in their brain.

02:06:35.000 Because apparently serotonin is made in the gut as well.

02:06:38.000 And they just became listless and gave up.

02:06:41.000 And drowned?

02:06:42.000 Yeah.

02:06:42.000 It had a direct effect.

02:06:44.000 Bitch ass rats. 1.00

02:06:44.000 Yeah, that was some weak ass rats. 1.00

02:06:46.000 With stomach aches. 1.00

02:06:47.000 Oh.

02:06:49.000 If you're going to go swimming, make sure your gut's good.

02:06:52.000 See, and this all came from an animal that, I mean, I was there.

02:06:57.000 That you shot in the face.

02:06:58.000 In the body.

02:06:59.000 You ever shoot him in the face, though? 0.99

02:07:00.000 No, I don't shoot him in the face. 0.99

02:07:01.000 It's a good idea, though.

02:07:03.000 You don't do it because you really...

02:07:06.000 It's hard to be that accurate.

02:07:08.000 When you shoot a body, especially an elk, you have a giant target.

02:07:12.000 As much as you're practicing, let's start going for some headshots on this next one.

02:07:17.000 I think that's taboo, right? 0.99

02:07:20.000 No, guys do it all the time with pigs. 0.99

02:07:23.000 There's a show called Pigman.

02:07:25.000 It's kind of hilarious. 1.00

02:07:27.000 I watch that show and I go, God, if vegans ever fucking found... 1.00

02:07:32.000 Oops. 1.00

02:07:32.000 Boom. 1.00

02:07:33.000 I let it out.

02:07:34.000 There's a show called Pigman, okay? 1.00

02:07:35.000 And this motherfucker, he's called Pigman because he just kills pigs. 1.00

02:07:39.000 He's got a ranch attack. 1.00

02:07:40.000 I mean, he hunts all over the world.

02:07:42.000 You know, he just shot a moose with a bow and arrow.

02:07:44.000 Like those cute pink pigs? 0.99

02:07:45.000 No, no, no, no.

02:07:46.000 Wild, invasive hogs.

02:07:47.000 Like those cute pink pigs. 1.00

02:07:49.000 I love those.

02:07:49.000 Like the ones from Babe.

02:07:50.000 The one that was on my Instagram the other day that was carrying off a fawn.

02:07:53.000 Did you know that hogs carry off fawns and kill them and eat them? 1.00

02:07:56.000 Yeah.

02:07:57.000 That was a warthog.

02:07:58.000 No, it wasn't.

02:07:59.000 Really? 0.99

02:07:59.000 No, it was a pig. 0.99

02:08:00.000 That was an American domestic hog. 1.00

02:08:04.000 That's pig man. 1.00

02:08:04.000 He's got a patch on his eye because he was in a fucking car accident. 1.00

02:08:07.000 He got all fucked up and now he's got to shoot his bow with his left eye. 1.00

02:08:11.000 Now he's taking the anger from losing his eye out on the pigs? 1.00

02:08:13.000 No, he's always been a pig murderer. 1.00

02:08:15.000 I mean, look, if you live in Texas, you've got to kill pigs. 1.00

02:08:18.000 Is it that hard to kill pigs? 1.00

02:08:19.000 Yes. 1.00

02:08:20.000 You gotta find them, first of all.

02:08:21.000 I mean, they're massively invasive.

02:08:25.000 There's millions of them.

02:08:27.000 Really? 1.00

02:08:27.000 I mean, fucking millions. 1.00

02:08:28.000 Millions? 1.00

02:08:28.000 You can't just take a machine gun and mow them? 1.00

02:08:30.000 In Texas alone, there are millions of wild hogs.

02:08:33.000 Wow.

02:08:33.000 It's so bad that Texas, they opened up a road, they had built a new road, and the night they opened it up, they got like 40 car accidents where people were slamming into pigs.

02:08:41.000 You know what?

02:08:41.000 Tim Kennedy told me this.

02:08:42.000 He said, in Texas, pigs are real fucking... 1.00

02:08:44.000 He gets on a horseback and hunts them with spear. 1.00

02:08:46.000 How about the fact they hunt them with fucking helicopters? 1.00

02:08:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:08:49.000 You want to see something crazy? 1.00

02:08:51.000 Yes.

02:08:51.000 Watch this.

02:08:51.000 Pull up, Pigman and Ted Nugent hunt pigs with a helicopter.

02:08:56.000 They have episodes they call a porkalypse now, and they fucking fly around. 0.99

02:09:02.000 Hey, is that hunting? 0.98

02:09:04.000 Is that really hunting, or is that massacre?

02:09:06.000 No, it's massacre.

02:09:08.000 Ted Nugent said it should be illegal not to do this.

02:09:10.000 Yes.

02:09:10.000 Yeah, it's a massacre.

02:09:12.000 But that's what they have to do.

02:09:13.000 Like, look, there are things that you have to do if you want to...

02:09:16.000 Everybody has this idea that nature balances itself out.

02:09:20.000 But the problem with that idea is that 90% of everything that's ever existed ever is extinct.

02:09:25.000 90%. 0.99

02:09:25.000 So all those fucking animals that weren't helped along, like... 0.99

02:09:31.000 You know, I mean, there's a real big problem with bears and deer and moose populations because bear and wolves especially too now, in the places where wolves have been reintroduced, because wolves give birth to a litter, right? 0.99

02:09:45.000 So if a wolf pup, you know, if a wolf mom has like six babies, a moose only has one baby.

02:09:52.000 So the moose... 0.99

02:09:54.000 Has one baby and then there's this fucking wolf running around with six pups. 1.00

02:09:59.000 Well, just do the math. 0.99

02:10:01.000 You know, they're gonna slowly but surely start taking out all of the game animals.

02:10:07.000 And that's what's happening in a lot of states.

02:10:09.000 Are they just killing wolves now? 0.99

02:10:11.000 Goddammit. 0.99

02:10:11.000 Well, they've reintroduced wolf hunting to a lot of states now. 0.99

02:10:14.000 And bears?

02:10:15.000 Oh, bears have always been hunted.

02:10:16.000 Well, you have to hunt things.

02:10:17.000 I like a nice Kodiak beer.

02:10:19.000 A lot of mountain lion.

02:10:20.000 You have to hunt things that don't have a predator.

02:10:22.000 Because if they don't have a predator, then nothing controls their population.

02:10:25.000 Like great white sharks or what?

02:10:27.000 Well, great white sharks.

02:10:28.000 Trying to hunt those next? 0.99

02:10:29.000 They clean shit up. 1.00

02:10:30.000 Dude, look at them hanging. 0.99

02:10:32.000 But that's just an ad.

02:10:34.000 There's actual episodes where you can see them do it. 0.99

02:10:36.000 Those boys are just mowing down these little pigs. 0.86

02:10:39.000 A porkalypse was a night on the Sportsman's channel. 0.98

02:10:42.000 A porkalypse now?

02:10:43.000 Yeah, they kill everything on a porkalypse now.

02:10:46.000 They just leave them or do they eat them? 0.84

02:10:48.000 My point being, this guy's dad, Pigman's dad, shoots pigs in the head all the time. 0.99

02:10:52.000 Not only does he shoot them in the head... 1.00

02:10:53.000 Execution style? 1.00

02:10:54.000 ...but way crazier. 0.99

02:10:55.000 What he does is he'll line corn up on the road like a row of corn like maybe like several yards long and then they get down there because it's a line they get down there to eat in a line and then he gets their heads lined up so when he gets their heads lined up he'll shoot through three of them with one bullet and he's always trying to kill like as many pigs as he can with one bullet to the head and it's That's crazy. 1.00

02:11:19.000 But it's fucked up, but they do have to kill these things. 1.00

02:11:23.000 So, look, if you can kill one by shooting it in the head, that is the best way to do it. 1.00

02:11:27.000 And some people are like, no, you shouldn't do it, man. 1.00

02:11:29.000 You shouldn't kill- Well, okay.

02:11:30.000 Well, then they're going to eat everything.

02:11:31.000 They're going to eat all the ground-nesting birds. 0.99

02:11:33.000 They're going to eat all of each other. 0.57

02:11:35.000 First of all, Jamie, Google how many pigs we slaughter a day in this country. 0.86

02:11:40.000 The number will blow your mind.

02:11:41.000 You're talking about those soft pink cute pigs. 0.99

02:11:43.000 You're talking about domestic pigs.

02:11:43.000 I'm just saying.

02:11:44.000 You're talking about those soft pink pinkies. 1.00

02:11:45.000 I love those. 0.99

02:11:46.000 I like those pigs. 0.99

02:11:47.000 That's avoidable because you don't have to have farming, right?

02:11:49.000 You don't have to have factory farming.

02:11:50.000 You don't have to feed that many people you do.

02:11:52.000 My point is, we're talking about completely different issues.

02:11:55.000 My point is, if you let these wild hogs go nuts and just keep breeding, they're having three litters a year sometimes.

02:12:03.000 Yeah, that's really bad. 1.00

02:12:04.000 And each one of them is like six to eight fucking babies. 1.00

02:12:07.000 500 hogs in 48 hours. 1.00

02:12:09.000 They can run fast.

02:12:09.000 They run fast, by the way.

02:12:10.000 Oh, they're fast as shit. 1.00

02:12:11.000 And they know what's going on, man. 1.00

02:12:12.000 They're smart.

02:12:13.000 Wow.

02:12:14.000 They hear these pop, pop, pop, and they watch their friends explode. 0.99

02:12:17.000 They're not stupid. 1.00

02:12:19.000 Are pigs smarter than dogs? 1.00

02:12:21.000 They're very smart.

02:12:23.000 It depends on who's dog.

02:12:23.000 They can run though!

02:12:24.000 I'm impressed with how fast they run.

02:12:26.000 It's a wild animal, Brian.

02:12:27.000 Not knowing that, it's terrified for its life. 0.69

02:12:29.000 But the question is, if you don't do this, okay, if you don't shoot them, What do you do?

02:12:35.000 Do you just let them...

02:12:36.000 Like, what is the vegan response?

02:12:38.000 What is the animal rights response?

02:12:39.000 Build a wall for them.

02:12:41.000 What do you do? 1.00

02:12:41.000 You gotta kill them. 1.00

02:12:42.000 You can't. 1.00

02:12:42.000 You gotta kill them. 1.00

02:12:43.000 But you can't have a wall. 1.00

02:12:43.000 That's a white one, you son of a bitch. 1.00

02:12:45.000 Well, there's a lot of these are domestic pigs that get loose. 1.00

02:12:49.000 I'm so impressed with how fast they run.

02:12:50.000 They bound. 1.00

02:12:51.000 Yeah, they're fast as fuck. 1.00

02:12:53.000 And by the way, this ain't easy to hit these fucking things. 1.00

02:12:54.000 Dude, I love how they're running zigzag. 1.00

02:12:57.000 Yeah, fuck yeah, they're smart. 0.99

02:12:58.000 Yeah, they're trying. 1.00

02:12:59.000 You gotta be a good shot, though.

02:13:01.000 Not if you got an automatic, right?

02:13:02.000 Well, you definitely have to be a good shot.

02:13:05.000 You still, I mean, guys miss on this show all the time.

02:13:07.000 I played a lot of Halo as a kid.

02:13:09.000 No, for real.

02:13:10.000 I feel like I'd be alright. 0.99

02:13:11.000 Call of Duty and shit. 0.98

02:13:12.000 Hey, dude, they have kids now who are 16 years old because they've been playing video games and there were three. 0.99

02:13:17.000 You give them a couple of adjustments, they're shooting as well as a SWAT guy.

02:13:21.000 Yeah, they get used to pulling triggers. 1.00

02:13:22.000 Those first-person shooters are real as a motherfucker. 1.00

02:13:25.000 It's all these fucks when they go into the theater shooting, they all fucking practice on that. 1.00

02:13:29.000 There are kids who are expert marksmen. 1.00

02:13:31.000 They get used to leading, too.

02:13:33.000 They get used to doing all kinds of different things.

02:13:35.000 That's nuts, man.

02:13:35.000 This one kid was 16, and he was hitting headshots.

02:13:38.000 Bang, bang, bang, bang.

02:13:39.000 At first, he was kind of missing a little, and they gave him a couple of adjustments because it was a real gun.

02:13:44.000 In an afternoon, he was shooting as well as the expert marksman.

02:13:48.000 The kid's playing a little too much video games.

02:13:50.000 He'd been playing since he was three.

02:13:51.000 That is so insane.

02:13:53.000 It's so insane if you think about what they can do now in comparison.

02:13:58.000 Think about what they used to be able to do 20 years ago, what they can do now, and then what they're going to be able to do 20 years from now.

02:14:03.000 Are you talking about video games?

02:14:04.000 I'm talking about controlling things.

02:14:05.000 Fighters?

02:14:06.000 I wonder if fighters are going to have an ability to fight virtual reality, kind of move in their head and seeing shots come.

02:14:12.000 Here's one thing for sure is going to happen.

02:14:14.000 We're gonna have some iRobot-type assassins. 0.91

02:14:17.000 100%.

02:14:17.000 We're gonna release those on Afghanistan.

02:14:20.000 We're never gonna have another casualty.

02:14:22.000 That's right.

02:14:23.000 And they're also gonna release them.

02:14:25.000 Well, that's the problem.

02:14:26.000 Suicide bombers? 1.00

02:14:27.000 Now it's a fucking iRobot that just walks into the Miami Dolphins stadium? 1.00

02:14:31.000 Oh, that's the worry. 1.00

02:14:33.000 That one's for free, CI. We're ahead technologically, but gee whiz.

02:14:37.000 Well, for a little bit.

02:14:38.000 China begs the difference.

02:14:40.000 Yeah, how about Korea?

02:14:41.000 Well, I'm going to see that thing come from a mile away.

02:14:43.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

02:14:44.000 Atlas, the next generation.

02:14:46.000 This thing has a battery power on its back that it stole from a Tesla.

02:14:49.000 It's running around.

02:14:50.000 I'm gonna go ahead and run behind that thing and yank the cords out.

02:14:53.000 I'm not afraid of that.

02:14:54.000 It's gonna know you're running behind it because it has cameras everywhere.

02:14:57.000 Just like a Tesla.

02:14:59.000 Just like a Tesla?

02:15:00.000 That's how a Tesla drives. 0.94

02:15:01.000 This is insane, though.

02:15:02.000 This is weird to watch.

02:15:03.000 I know it is.

02:15:03.000 This thing walking around.

02:15:04.000 Don't you feel like you just run up and fucking Bruce Lee kick it and fall over? 0.99

02:15:07.000 Well, it can see you coming, I would assume. 0.99

02:15:09.000 It has cameras everywhere. 1.00

02:15:10.000 Why wouldn't you put cameras 360 degrees on one of these fucking things? 1.00

02:15:13.000 It's picking up a box. 0.99

02:15:15.000 Ooh, it bends over correctly.

02:15:16.000 Nice posture.

02:15:17.000 The guy slaps him, tries to knock him over. 1.00

02:15:20.000 Oh, damn. 1.00

02:15:20.000 Damn. 1.00

02:15:21.000 That balance is legit. 0.99

02:15:23.000 Let me spinning back kick that day.

02:15:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:15:24.000 Let me fucking yank him from the back. 1.00

02:15:27.000 I'll just sans-shy trip him. 0.99

02:15:29.000 Just get him in a collar tie.

02:15:30.000 Right?

02:15:31.000 Let me go and get that plumb. 1.00

02:15:33.000 This is the future.

02:15:34.000 This is the future.

02:15:36.000 Hopefully it's a little more aerodynamic. 0.99

02:15:38.000 Alright, this guy keeps fucking with the robot. 1.00

02:15:40.000 I hope he fucks this Steve Jobs kid. 1.00

02:15:41.000 He's moving it around. 0.99

02:15:42.000 Now it's gonna chase after the package.

02:15:44.000 Why doesn't he get mad at the guy with the stick?

02:15:45.000 I know.

02:15:46.000 Why didn't he slap the guy with the stick?

02:15:47.000 Because he's a kind robot.

02:15:48.000 That's what I'm looking for.

02:15:49.000 Well, have you guys paid attention to this Go thing?

02:15:51.000 No.

02:15:52.000 Well, for the first time, Google's AI has been able to beat the best Go players in the world. 0.99

02:15:57.000 What the fuck I'm talking about? 1.00

02:15:59.000 You roll up behind him and fucking push his sorry ass over. 1.00

02:16:01.000 Let's see it get back up. 1.00

02:16:02.000 Fuck you, robot. 1.00

02:16:04.000 Let's see how it gets better. 1.00

02:16:05.000 Yeah, but I'm yanking cords out once he gets down there.

02:16:07.000 It looks almost fake.

02:16:08.000 Like the way it's getting up.

02:16:09.000 Whoa, I don't like that.

02:16:10.000 It looks like Robocop in 1988. Scary.

02:16:14.000 And it doesn't even bother defending itself.

02:16:16.000 Wow.

02:16:17.000 This is just a prototype, right?

02:16:19.000 We're looking at something that's gonna one day be like a Brendan Shaw or a Brian Callen.

02:16:23.000 You're not even gonna be able to tell.

02:16:25.000 That's scary.

02:16:26.000 So anyway, the Google Artificial Intelligence, the AI, for the first time has been able to beat the best player in the world, a human being, at Go.

02:16:33.000 And Go, which is exponentially more difficult than chess, it's a super complicated game.

02:16:39.000 Wow.

02:16:40.000 And not only are these AI systems, this Google AI system able to beat the best player in the world, but it's doing it in some really creative ways that are freaking people out. 0.98

02:16:50.000 Because they're trying to figure out how these fucking games, how these... 0.95

02:16:54.000 Artificial intelligence programs are learning these games so well. 0.99

02:16:57.000 They thought it was gonna be years before one could beat a player.

02:17:00.000 Like a real world-class, top-of-the-food-chain Go player. 0.99

02:17:04.000 God, I feel like a dumbass for not knowing this game. 0.95

02:17:06.000 I feel like that's not knowing Lee Sedol. 0.99

02:17:08.000 You could make up the rules, and I'd be like, okay.

02:17:10.000 I was playing Sorry with my kids the other day, and they were totally making up rules.

02:17:15.000 I could tell.

02:17:16.000 I was like, what?

02:17:17.000 That doesn't make any sense.

02:17:18.000 Daddy, definitely. 0.99

02:17:19.000 I go to reach for the fucking instructions. 1.00

02:17:21.000 She grabs my hand. 1.00

02:17:22.000 Oh, Daddy, let's not look at that.

02:17:24.000 Oh, I see what's up.

02:17:25.000 You're getting creative.

02:17:27.000 Getting creative.

02:17:28.000 Man, our kids are going to grow up with...

02:17:30.000 I saw the new Tesla SUV, because Will Smith's son had it at Air One.

02:17:35.000 He's got that...

02:17:36.000 Name dropper.

02:17:36.000 Look at you.

02:17:37.000 Yeah.

02:17:37.000 Yeah, I'll tell you what.

02:17:39.000 Okay, we get it.

02:17:40.000 You're in Calabasas.

02:17:41.000 Sorry, guys.

02:17:42.000 He's got to spend that karate kid money somewhere.

02:17:44.000 That's right.

02:17:45.000 Word. 0.99

02:17:46.000 Goddamn right. 0.99

02:17:47.000 Is he going to start a cult someday, yes or no? 0.94

02:17:50.000 Will Smith?

02:17:50.000 Either one.

02:17:51.000 Him, his son, anyone like that?

02:17:52.000 Doesn't he want to disappear and he also doesn't see a difference in women in men's clothing, is what I read.

02:17:56.000 Well, there's no gender. 1.00

02:17:57.000 It's not real.

02:17:58.000 Doesn't he know that?

02:17:59.000 Who says this?

02:18:01.000 There's no more he and she. 0.93

02:18:02.000 Will Smith. 1.00

02:18:03.000 Well, all bathrooms should just be shitting. 1.00

02:18:05.000 Kids will look her. 1.00

02:18:06.000 I'll tell you that much.

02:18:07.000 Oh, you want equal rights?

02:18:08.000 Go ahead and share the bathroom. 0.99

02:18:09.000 Yeah, share the bathroom with Roy Nelson. 0.90

02:18:10.000 He's a good-looking kid, though.

02:18:12.000 I don't see man clothes and woman clothes.

02:18:13.000 Well, you need to get classes, because they're very different. 1.00

02:18:16.000 Girls wear skirts, boys wear fucking combat boots and shit. 1.00

02:18:19.000 Go and put some high heels on and walk around all day. 1.00

02:18:22.000 Listen, if I was in this fucking kid's position, I'd be saying way more stupid shit than him. 1.00

02:18:26.000 I'd be way weirder and doing way more crazy shit. 1.00

02:18:28.000 Yeah, anybody in that life, like growing up with your parents being... 0.99

02:18:32.000 You're a prince.

02:18:33.000 You grew up like a little prince.

02:18:34.000 It's not just a prince, but even weirder, because your dad is a professional make-believer.

02:18:38.000 Mm-hmm.

02:18:39.000 Your dad is just a guy who's really good at pretending, and he's world-renowned.

02:18:44.000 Everywhere you go, you're flying on private jets.

02:18:46.000 His mom, too. 1.00

02:18:47.000 She's famous as fuck. 1.00

02:18:48.000 Did you see Chris Rock's bit about that? 1.00

02:18:50.000 Oh, it's classic.

02:18:52.000 What did he say? 1.00

02:18:56.000 He's like, Jada Pinkett protesting at the Oscars is like protesting outside of Beyonce's pussy. 0.99

02:19:02.000 I'm not invited. 0.99

02:19:04.000 I was not invited.

02:19:08.000 It's a great joke.

02:19:10.000 It's perfect. 0.99

02:19:12.000 Who was the other black actor who tweeted- Thanks for almost fucking it up though. 0.96

02:19:15.000 I like how you chimed in in the middle of me. 0.97

02:19:17.000 Sorry, sorry.

02:19:17.000 I was trying to remember.

02:19:18.000 Really good for the timing.

02:19:19.000 Who was the other black actor who tweeted, hey Rihanna, act better.

02:19:25.000 I mean, hey Jada, act better.

02:19:27.000 I was like, oh jeez, man.

02:19:29.000 Oh, did they really?

02:19:30.000 Yeah.

02:19:30.000 It's good.

02:19:31.000 You want to get favor with the Academy.

02:19:32.000 That's the way to go.

02:19:34.000 What did you think about that whole Oscar's so white? 0.71

02:19:37.000 Well, you want my answer?

02:19:39.000 Yes.

02:19:39.000 Please.

02:19:41.000 More wrestling or gay stuff? 0.99

02:19:42.000 Whenever something bothers me, I'm usually kind of right about it in a way where I go, hmm, I know the message is important and I obviously am not prejudiced and I want everybody to be equal.

02:19:56.000 I think I resent when people cram it down my throat and try to shame me or scold me, which I felt like the Oscars were doing a little bit.

02:20:02.000 They did a good job, I think, of kind of taking...

02:20:05.000 The piss out of it, you know, making it, come on, we're off, blah, blah, blah.

02:20:08.000 And Chris Rock did a good job with what he had.

02:20:11.000 But I always feel like when Joe Biden talked about consent, and when Lady Gaga got up and sang that song about victims of sexual abuse, like...

02:20:22.000 I get it.

02:20:23.000 I'm with you.

02:20:24.000 I'm not pro-rape. 0.94

02:20:25.000 Who is not going to rape someone because of a Lady Gaga song? 1.00

02:20:29.000 Exactly. 0.96

02:20:29.000 You are really not committed to rape. 0.96

02:20:31.000 Matter of fact, it made me more angry. 0.99

02:20:33.000 God damn it, I don't even want to rape, but I feel like it. 0.99

02:20:36.000 You feel like you're being... 1.00

02:20:38.000 Manipulated.

02:20:39.000 Yeah, and demonized.

02:20:41.000 Not only that, it's a manipulation where I already agree with you.

02:20:45.000 Yeah, we're all on board.

02:20:47.000 Racism is bad.

02:20:48.000 Duh.

02:20:48.000 Are you telling me something?

02:20:50.000 I don't know.

02:20:50.000 Sexual assault, it's bad.

02:20:52.000 Duh. 1.00

02:20:53.000 Thank God Lady Gaga told me that because I was about to go rape a bitch. 1.00

02:20:57.000 Thank God you sung that song. 0.99

02:20:57.000 Thanks for making a stand, you know what? 0.99

02:20:59.000 But it's not real.

02:21:00.000 It's social virtuing.

02:21:02.000 It's virtue signaling.

02:21:03.000 That's what Michael Shermer calls it.

02:21:05.000 Let me devil's advocate for a second.

02:21:08.000 Can you do that?

02:21:10.000 I can advocate devil's advocate. 0.85

02:21:11.000 Advocate for the devil?

02:21:14.000 I do understand the idea that if you are Sam Smith and you say, hey, this is for all the LBT people out there, or if you are Lady Gaga. 0.56

02:21:24.000 LGBT? LGBT. You forgot the gay people. 1.00

02:21:27.000 How dare you? 0.99

02:21:30.000 It's all I see, guys.

02:21:31.000 It's all I see. 0.97

02:21:32.000 Do you not see gay? 0.97

02:21:33.000 No, I have to exclude them.

02:21:34.000 Do you see women's clothing and men's clothing?

02:21:35.000 I don't, dude.

02:21:36.000 I'm just so colorblind.

02:21:38.000 I don't even know if you guys are girls or boys. 1.00

02:21:40.000 Do you have a front hole or a cock? 1.00

02:21:42.000 Let me check. 1.00

02:21:44.000 There it is.

02:21:45.000 But what was I saying?

02:21:46.000 Something really profound?

02:21:48.000 But this is my thing, Joe.

02:21:50.000 While you're thinking, I was just going to keep going.

02:21:53.000 While you're thinking.

02:21:54.000 Well, I think you were saying that I don't know what you're saying.

02:21:59.000 Someone says something.

02:22:01.000 Oh, yeah.

02:22:01.000 So I do think that there is a place to say, hey, if you are a victim out there, if you're a transgender kid and you're thinking about killing yourself, there is value to seeing really cool people, actors that you look up to saying, hey, dude, it's okay.

02:22:16.000 You're not a freak or it's okay to be who you are because that's the truth of who you are and feel empowered.

02:22:22.000 I get that.

02:22:23.000 I can't wait until it's no longer an issue. 0.99

02:22:25.000 So then we can start figuring out which one of these transgender people are just dummies that happen to be transgender. 1.00

02:22:31.000 Which one of these gay people are just dummies that happen to be gay? 1.00

02:22:34.000 Like there's a lot of that where people get free rides just because they're from a marginalized group. 0.99

02:22:38.000 It's not just that.

02:22:39.000 And they're annoying.

02:22:40.000 But they're a part of this whole thing.

02:22:42.000 A lot of the duh, a lot of the real duh is just coming from dummies that support a great cause.

02:22:48.000 And they have a voice. 0.99

02:22:49.000 And that's a big problem with the whole social justice warrior movement is that a lot of it is just really fucked up socially retarded people. 1.00

02:22:57.000 I'll add something to it. 0.99

02:22:59.000 Those people have found an area in which, if you support this area, you can be the biggest cunt in the world supporting that area. 0.99

02:23:07.000 You could be fucking horrendous to people, rude to people, try to destroy people's lives, as long as you're doing within the confines and the parameters of that cause. 0.99

02:23:16.000 And I don't buy it, because I think those are just terrible people. 0.99

02:23:19.000 I think there's terrible people that found a good cause and they're jumping on it.

02:23:22.000 But to be specific, I don't even think it's about...

02:23:24.000 Now they have a voice.

02:23:25.000 You can call them terrible people.

02:23:26.000 I think people like that are way less interested in the actual cause.

02:23:30.000 They're way more interested in power.

02:23:32.000 Yeah, 100%.

02:23:32.000 And you see that.

02:23:33.000 You see people who, whether they're in Greenpeace or whatever, they just are not satisfied with winning a victory.

02:23:40.000 They are more interested in demonizing and controlling another group of people.

02:23:44.000 I also think, going back to the Oscars... 0.77

02:23:46.000 Yes, there's no black people, you know, nominated.

02:23:50.000 Could it just be that all the white people had great movies that year?

02:23:53.000 Maybe they never got the major roles, which is an issue, but it just so happens this year, all the great movies, all the great actors happen to be white, so you just chalk it up as that. 0.89

02:24:03.000 I don't think Hollywood's racist. 0.99

02:24:04.000 It's a clever move, though, because Hollywood, they're such pussies that once you do have protests like this and say, Oscar's so white, they're going to fucking panic now. 1.00

02:24:15.000 It's going to be all black next year. 1.00

02:24:17.000 Also, the type of movies that are going to get made, they're going to try to make movies for...

02:24:24.000 Tyler Perry's like, yeah.

02:24:25.000 Yes!

02:24:26.000 No, no, that's not going to work.

02:24:27.000 But they're going to try to make really diversity-oriented movies.

02:24:32.000 Already are.

02:24:32.000 They already are.

02:24:33.000 Of course, yeah.

02:24:34.000 But it's all artificial.

02:24:36.000 So this is like an adolescent stage.

02:24:38.000 So we'll get through the stage.

02:24:39.000 The phase, yes.

02:24:40.000 And then it'll just be quality.

02:24:41.000 There's no denying Denzel Washington is one of the greatest actors of all time. 0.99

02:24:45.000 You don't give a fuck if he's black or if he's white. 0.99

02:24:47.000 He's fucking spectacular. 1.00

02:24:49.000 Like Robert Downey Jr. When he went blackface, still great. 1.00

02:24:54.000 You shouldn't even talk about it.

02:24:55.000 You couldn't do that today. 0.99

02:24:56.000 Damn, Brendan, you're creating controversy. 0.99

02:24:57.000 Tropic Thunder, if you tried to do that today, you couldn't do that. 1.00

02:24:59.000 You couldn't do it.

02:25:00.000 You couldn't do it.

02:25:00.000 I'm just saying he was a great mess.

02:25:02.000 That's right, I forgot he did that, and he was really good.

02:25:04.000 He was amazing in it.

02:25:04.000 That's all I'm saying.

02:25:05.000 You can't do that today. 0.72

02:25:06.000 You never go full retard. 0.97

02:25:08.000 Some of the greatest lines in any movie ever.

02:25:10.000 It was brilliant. 0.99

02:25:11.000 That's a funny fucking movie, man. 0.99

02:25:13.000 It's a great movie. 0.99

02:25:13.000 Eddie Bravo and I were just rambling about it. 0.99

02:25:15.000 We were talking about it on The Companion.

02:25:17.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:25:17.000 Yeah, that's right.

02:25:18.000 You're so good.

02:25:19.000 I've talked about that movie like 10 times over the last year.

02:25:22.000 Me too.

02:25:22.000 It's a spectacular movie that you couldn't make today.

02:25:24.000 All I'm saying is it doesn't matter if Robert Jr. plays black guy, white guy.

02:25:28.000 He's...

02:25:29.000 Brilliant, man.

02:25:29.000 Can you still play a Chinese guy?

02:25:31.000 Could you still do, like, remember when they used to, what was the Charlie Chan?

02:25:34.000 Charlie Chan was a white guy that they pretended was Chinese.

02:25:36.000 No, I don't think you could, and I'll tell you something else.

02:25:37.000 He dressed up like a Native American, and we Instagrammed a picture for this sketch that we're doing.

02:25:42.000 Oh, these social justice warriors. 0.98

02:25:44.000 You got some shit from that, and I answered some of them. 0.99

02:25:46.000 I was like, listen, man. 0.99

02:25:47.000 It's ethnic misappropriation. 0.99

02:25:49.000 They're like, I hope you know how ridiculous you look. 1.00

02:25:52.000 Like, bitch, you got a Tesla. 1.00

02:25:54.000 What are you talking about? 1.00

02:25:55.000 You're not a real Indian. 1.00

02:25:56.000 What are you talking about?

02:25:56.000 Yeah, I saw one of the Kardashians had a photo of her in some Native American outfit, like a Pocahontas type outfit for Halloween.

02:26:04.000 Probably looks hot. 1.00

02:26:04.000 Probably hot as fuck, but just fucking... 1.00

02:26:08.000 All the blah, all the hate. 1.00

02:26:11.000 Well, people want...

02:26:12.000 Who are you standing up for?

02:26:15.000 Who are you standing up for, too?

02:26:16.000 People want...

02:26:17.000 Who are we standing up for?

02:26:19.000 Native Americans do not understand what cultural misappropriation is. 1.00

02:26:22.000 You don't because you have white privilege. 1.00

02:26:25.000 First of all, you should just shut the fuck up and listen. 1.00

02:26:28.000 This is a big thing that they like to do. 1.00

02:26:30.000 If someone of color is speaking, shut the fuck up and listen. 1.00

02:26:34.000 Wow. 1.00

02:26:34.000 I am noble and I am progressive. 1.00

02:26:37.000 And I want you to shut the fuck up and listen. 0.99

02:26:39.000 It's a big thing. 1.00

02:26:40.000 If a woman is talking about women's issues, how about we shut the fuck up, guys? 1.00

02:26:44.000 How about you guys, you men, just shut the fuck up? 1.00

02:26:46.000 But the thing is, when I posted the Indian video, you don't even know the context. 0.99

02:26:50.000 So for you to jump on there and be like, this is offensive. 1.00

02:26:54.000 Bitch, you're white. 1.00

02:26:55.000 It was also traditional garb. 1.00

02:26:57.000 It actually was very historically accurate. 1.00

02:26:58.000 I don't give a fuck if it's fake as fuck. 1.00

02:27:00.000 It's a character! 1.00

02:27:02.000 Do you ever watch the YouTube videos from The Amazing Atheist?

02:27:05.000 No.

02:27:05.000 Amazing Atheist is great.

02:27:07.000 He's been on the podcast before, too. 0.99

02:27:08.000 He's fucking great. 0.97

02:27:09.000 His videos are amazing. 0.99

02:27:12.000 He had one the other day about how feminists hate when you use the phrase, not all men.

02:27:20.000 Because they want you to somehow or another be guilty for the actions of all men. 0.89

02:27:23.000 So if guys say, whoa, whoa, not all men rape.

02:27:26.000 Like, I don't rape. 0.63

02:27:27.000 Stop saying all men.

02:27:28.000 Stop categorizing all men.

02:27:29.000 Which is fair.

02:27:30.000 Which is totally fair.

02:27:31.000 But he does this whole thing on this article. 0.99

02:27:34.000 It's some woman who's a crazy feminist. 1.00

02:27:36.000 By the way, I went to her page. 0.99

02:27:37.000 I'm blocked.

02:27:38.000 I love when I don't even know anybody.

02:27:39.000 I'm blocked on their Twitter page. 1.00

02:27:41.000 She knew your ass was going to try to kill it after. 1.00

02:27:43.000 One of my favorite things. 0.99

02:27:43.000 No, you use these block programs that anybody who might have any remotely controversial view, they don't have to say. 0.99

02:27:50.000 Oh, really?

02:27:50.000 Yes.

02:27:51.000 She's insular. 0.95

02:27:51.000 You're probably blocked, too. 0.95

02:27:52.000 Insulating herself. 1.00

02:27:53.000 But his fucking video on it is sensational. 1.00

02:27:56.000 He does such a good job of covering all the points. 1.00

02:28:00.000 He's self-deprecating.

02:28:01.000 He's funny. 1.00

02:28:01.000 Yeah, he's got really good fucking points. 1.00

02:28:04.000 And he's got a bunch... 0.99

02:28:05.000 I've been on a binge watch of some of his videos lately.

02:28:08.000 He's excellent.

02:28:08.000 I'll definitely watch them.

02:28:09.000 Excellent. 0.91

02:28:10.000 But this one just skewers the feminist ideology that you're supposed to just feel guilty for the actions of men that have done horrible things when you haven't done a goddamn thing. 1.00

02:28:19.000 But it's like... 0.95

02:28:20.000 What it is is...

02:28:21.000 They have this ability to demonize and they don't want to lose it.

02:28:26.000 You know, they can call up...

02:28:27.000 It's power.

02:28:28.000 It's power.

02:28:28.000 And they use fake statistics like one in four women has been raped.

02:28:31.000 That's a lie.

02:28:32.000 Christine Summers on your podcast exposed that.

02:28:34.000 Exactly.

02:28:35.000 That gender study guy from Arizona, I think, or a woman from Arizona was the one who said that and she didn't have any... 0.86

02:28:42.000 It was a shoddy experiment. 1.00

02:28:43.000 It was bullshit. 1.00

02:28:45.000 Well, it's also... 1.00

02:28:46.000 They redefined what sexual assault and rape is to include regret.

02:28:49.000 That's right.

02:28:50.000 Which is outrageous.

02:28:51.000 And also alcohol.

02:28:52.000 If you've had sex while inebriated...

02:28:54.000 So if you had sex...

02:28:55.000 They've kind of abandoned that.

02:28:56.000 They've kind of abandoned that, by the way.

02:28:58.000 But feminists were riding that hard to the point where some feminists wrote a blog about it. 1.00

02:29:02.000 Like, if you've had sex while drunk, you've raped somebody. 0.99

02:29:04.000 I remember. 0.99

02:29:05.000 What?

02:29:06.000 They were saying women don't have sex with your man if your man's drunk because he can't consent. 1.00

02:29:12.000 Fuck you! 1.00

02:29:12.000 Can I just sign a paper where you can suck my dick when I'm drunk? 1.00

02:29:15.000 Is there anyone I can just text you approval? 1.00

02:29:18.000 You can't consent right now!

02:29:19.000 Trust me!

02:29:20.000 We're gonna be okay!

02:29:22.000 Trust me!

02:29:22.000 I am ready to go!

02:29:24.000 I will sign whatever you want! 0.99

02:29:25.000 I would like to find the guy that has ever sued or taken a woman to court or tried to call the cops because he was drunk and a girl fucked him! 0.99

02:29:33.000 I want to find that guy! 1.00

02:29:34.000 How dare you?

02:29:35.000 How dare you?

02:29:36.000 Can't be my friend!

02:29:36.000 There was a story a guy wrote an article I remember about ten years ago.

02:29:39.000 In the New York Times, he was talking about being a battered male.

02:29:43.000 And his girl beat him up.

02:29:46.000 It does happen, though.

02:29:47.000 Of course it does.

02:29:48.000 He went to the cops three times, and the cops were like this.

02:29:51.000 They were like...

02:29:52.000 Man up!

02:29:53.000 They would all snicker.

02:29:55.000 Is this in New York?

02:29:56.000 Yeah, it's in New York City. 0.71

02:29:56.000 Yeah, go to a New York cop and tell me you're getting bullied by chicks. 0.71

02:29:59.000 What's funny is that was one of the subjects of the Amazing Atheist.

02:30:03.000 His name's TJ. One of the things that he brought up was that he used to work with this woman who used to sexually assault him.

02:30:08.000 TJ's like a big, sort of like, outside of doing his YouTube videos, he's, you know, kind of an introverted guy a little bit. 1.00

02:30:16.000 And he worked at this place, and this woman, who was an older woman, and she was his boss, she was always grabbing his ass and fucking with him. 1.00

02:30:23.000 It's funny when it happens to a guy. 1.00

02:30:27.000 It happens to a girl, it's terrible.

02:30:28.000 For a guy, to me, it's hilarious.

02:30:29.000 You watch him, she's up, bro. 0.99

02:30:31.000 Hey, sugar tits, why don't you get over here? 1.00

02:30:33.000 To me, that's hilarious. 0.98

02:30:34.000 There's nothing she could do to him that I would press charges on.

02:30:37.000 Nothing.

02:30:38.000 I'm confused.

02:30:40.000 I would laugh it off.

02:30:41.000 Deal with it, bro.

02:30:43.000 Deal with it.

02:30:44.000 I'm confused.

02:30:45.000 I'm confused.

02:30:46.000 There's so much confusion with so many of these subjects.

02:30:49.000 When I was 14, if an older woman took advantage of me... 0.68

02:30:52.000 I would have been A-okay.

02:30:54.000 Yeah, but if she was your boss and she was gross, and I think he was like 20, I think he was a young guy. 0.98

02:31:01.000 Yeah, suck it up. 0.94

02:31:02.000 Yeah, but you're a different guy too.

02:31:03.000 Like if you're like an emotionally less introverted, a little less stable.

02:31:08.000 It's just different for women, man. 1.00

02:31:09.000 The guy's stronger.

02:31:10.000 The guy gets inside your body.

02:31:11.000 It's a thousand times different.

02:31:12.000 No doubt about it.

02:31:13.000 She's not going to hold him down. 1.00

02:31:14.000 Fuck it. 1.00

02:31:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:31:15.000 But it's like saying murder is really bad, so don't go...

02:31:19.000 I mean, if someone punches someone, it's no big deal.

02:31:22.000 But it is.

02:31:23.000 Getting knocked out is not as bad as getting stabbed and murdered, but it's still not good for you. 0.98

02:31:27.000 So his position of being sexually assaulted by that woman is not as bad. 0.95

02:31:31.000 I don't know why that's funny to me.

02:31:32.000 It was reversed? 0.97

02:31:33.000 I know it's fucked up, and I have a weird mind, but it's... 1.00

02:31:36.000 It's hilarious to me of him at night dreading going into work and he walks in, hey, fucking sugar dick, you know, just harass him nonstop. 1.00

02:31:44.000 What's even more funny is you being callous about this with a mouth full of elk and just chewing it down, mocking this guy. 1.00

02:31:51.000 How dare you, bro? 1.00

02:31:52.000 I think it's fucking funny. 1.00

02:31:55.000 Come on, pussy. 1.00

02:31:56.000 It is weird. 1.00

02:31:58.000 And the other thing that's weird is I don't have any sympathy for these fucking 16-year-old kids where their teacher blows them. 0.99

02:32:03.000 You know, when they get in gang bangs with a hot blonde t-shirt? 1.00

02:32:05.000 What fucking school was this? 1.00

02:32:07.000 Thanks, Aurora Hills! 1.00

02:32:08.000 Where was my dick, son? 1.00

02:32:10.000 The real problem was the one pussy that falls in love with her. 1.00

02:32:13.000 That's the real problem. 1.00

02:32:14.000 I know, that's what happens. 0.94

02:32:15.000 He fucks it up for everyone. 0.90

02:32:16.000 He ruins the gangbang. 0.81

02:32:17.000 Because he starts telling everyone. 1.00

02:32:18.000 Baby, you're fucking out of my group. 0.99

02:32:20.000 He's like, if I can't have you, no one can have you. 1.00

02:32:23.000 Shut it down.

02:32:23.000 I like the courts, too.

02:32:25.000 It's just this hot-ass teacher. 0.96

02:32:27.000 Like, this poor kid, you've terrorized him. 0.97

02:32:30.000 Meanwhile, the kid's like, huh?

02:32:30.000 One of the teachers was pretty, right?

02:32:31.000 One of the teachers was pretty, right?

02:32:33.000 There's a whole list of them. 0.99

02:32:35.000 There's a website dedicated to hot teachers that have fucked their kids. 0.99

02:32:38.000 Really? 1.00

02:32:39.000 Yeah.

02:32:39.000 My teachers were warlocks, son.

02:32:41.000 I had nothing.

02:32:42.000 Yeah.

02:32:43.000 It's nothing.

02:32:43.000 I can't remember a single hot teacher that I had all through my years.

02:32:47.000 Out of kindergarten, first grade, Miss Famuaro.

02:32:49.000 Smoke show.

02:32:50.000 There was a dude that was a handsome guy that was a Spanish teacher, and I think he was like, oh my god.

02:32:56.000 What? 0.99

02:32:56.000 Whoa, she's hot as fuck. 0.99

02:32:58.000 Free that woman right now. 1.00

02:32:59.000 I will pay her bail right now.

02:33:00.000 How much time is she doing?

02:33:01.000 What does it say?

02:33:02.000 Where's she going to jail? 1.00

02:33:03.000 17!

02:33:04.000 Can we get rid of...

02:33:05.000 He was 17?

02:33:06.000 Between 14 and 17 years.

02:33:07.000 Oh, whatever.

02:33:08.000 Went free on bail but was tried for oil.

02:33:11.000 She was 23. She was blowing a new guy? 0.99

02:33:13.000 She went free on bail.

02:33:14.000 She got free on bail and was blowing more people? 1.00

02:33:17.000 She's a freak! 1.00

02:33:18.000 Look, there's some girls... 1.00

02:33:19.000 Oh! 0.60

02:33:20.000 Well, a little thick.

02:33:20.000 Not really.

02:33:21.000 Speak for yourself. 1.00

02:33:24.000 Dude, look at these fucking... 1.00

02:33:26.000 What fucking school is this? 1.00

02:33:28.000 Dirty bitch school. 1.00

02:33:29.000 They're gorgeous. 1.00

02:33:29.000 God damn it. 1.00

02:33:31.000 Not in Denver, Colorado. 0.99

02:33:34.000 Yeah, there's a lot of hot ones, man.

02:33:36.000 A lot of hot ones.

02:33:37.000 Free them! 0.92

02:33:38.000 Free them! 0.92

02:33:39.000 You know, also, a lot of these guys, they're like really good at seducing older women.

02:33:43.000 And they're good-looking dudes, probably.

02:33:45.000 Young, handsome fella. 0.96

02:33:46.000 She's 25-year-old, had sex with an 18-year-old. 0.91

02:33:47.000 I don't see a problem with it. 0.91

02:33:48.000 Me neither.

02:33:49.000 If he's 18?

02:33:50.000 Was he 18?

02:33:51.000 Yeah, he's 18. Having sex with an 18-year-old male student. 0.99

02:33:52.000 How is that even illegal? 0.96

02:33:53.000 She's a Spanish teacher.

02:33:55.000 The age of consent in Texas is 18. The age of consent, it says 18, but a law forbidding teachers from having sexual relationships with students regardless of their age.

02:34:01.000 Whatever. 1.00

02:34:02.000 Quit your job, bitch. 1.00

02:34:03.000 Suck this dick. 1.00

02:34:03.000 Grand jury refused to find her guilty. 1.00

02:34:05.000 Grand jury refused to find her guilty, though.

02:34:07.000 It's all good. 1.00

02:34:08.000 Yeah, for sure stop teaching Spanish and just go suck his dick. 1.00

02:34:11.000 She's only seven years older than him. 1.00

02:34:12.000 He's probably giving that good 18-year-old dick. 1.00

02:34:15.000 Just cardio for days. 1.00

02:34:18.000 Hard as a diamond. 1.00

02:34:19.000 Can't even believe he's fucking trying his Spanish. 0.99

02:34:22.000 Do you imagine, do you remember things that you would do when you were like a young teenager where you couldn't even believe you were doing them while you were doing them? 0.99

02:34:28.000 Is this real life?

02:34:30.000 Yeah.

02:34:30.000 Like the first time I had an actual sexual relationship with a girlfriend, I remember like we would be having sex and be like, is this what I, is this real life?

02:34:38.000 Me too.

02:34:38.000 We really get to have sex?

02:34:39.000 Yeah, you'd be like, holy fuck, is that my dick in her mouth? 1.00

02:34:42.000 It's in her mouth! 1.00

02:34:43.000 My dick is in her mouth! 1.00

02:34:44.000 I've thought about this for 18 years! 1.00

02:34:46.000 I'm coming in her mouth right now! 1.00

02:34:47.000 When I was 16, I had sex with an older girl, and I was like, this is unbelievable. 1.00

02:34:52.000 And I would come and stay hard.

02:34:54.000 Yeah, it's crazy that you get used to it.

02:34:57.000 You get used to it. 0.86

02:34:57.000 It's like, yeah, we're going to have sex. 0.86

02:34:59.000 Just like anything.

02:35:00.000 It becomes normal.

02:35:01.000 It becomes normal.

02:35:01.000 You know, there's only one time in my entire life where my ears rang when I came.

02:35:05.000 And that was when I was in high school.

02:35:07.000 My girlfriend at the time blew me on a porch.

02:35:10.000 What?

02:35:10.000 We're on a porch.

02:35:11.000 She blew me up.

02:35:11.000 That's aggressive.

02:35:12.000 And I changed the shape of her head when I came in from her mouth. 0.74

02:35:17.000 Her head became like one of those Peruvian children that they find. 1.00

02:35:21.000 They've had their fucking head clamped in one of those skull-shaping machines. 1.00

02:35:25.000 She looked like Doug. 1.00

02:35:26.000 I can't believe how hard I came.

02:35:28.000 And my ears went...

02:35:31.000 The ultimate orgasm?

02:35:32.000 And I remember thinking, whoa, is this going to happen every time?

02:35:35.000 Is she okay?

02:35:36.000 Were you like, are you okay?

02:35:37.000 To this day, I'm 48 years old.

02:35:39.000 This happened probably when I was 16. To this day, I think, man, if I just don't jerk off for a couple weeks, maybe I can get back there again.

02:35:45.000 You're trying to get back to that super soaker cum? 1.00

02:35:47.000 I don't have the willpower. 0.99

02:35:49.000 You want to be young forever.

02:35:50.000 I can quit gluten.

02:35:52.000 I can get on that primal diet.

02:35:55.000 No keto.

02:35:56.000 I'm not going to stop shooting loads.

02:35:58.000 No way.

02:35:59.000 I guess I'm just not.

02:36:00.000 No.

02:36:00.000 You know what the problem is?

02:36:01.000 It becomes too confusing.

02:36:04.000 It's like the same way I feel about exercise.

02:36:06.000 Like if someone said, I'll give you 10 million bucks if you don't exercise for a year.

02:36:09.000 I can't do it. 0.99

02:36:10.000 I'd go, you can fucking keep your 10 million bucks. 0.99

02:36:12.000 I'm not going to have a year of suffering just for some money that I'm going to spend. 0.99

02:36:14.000 I'd be miserable, yeah.

02:36:15.000 I can't do it. 0.99

02:36:16.000 And I feel the same way about jerking off. 0.98

02:36:18.000 I think in a lot of ways, jerking off is like a type of exercise because it exercises your reproductive system so it's not constantly ramped up. 0.99

02:36:27.000 Mm-hmm. 0.98

02:36:27.000 You know, I've always felt like there's a lot of confusion that comes with being horny. 0.98

02:36:30.000 There's these guys on the couch right on the sweats.

02:36:32.000 Yeah, Rogan! 1.00

02:36:33.000 Fucking tell them, man! 1.00

02:36:34.000 It's exercise! 0.99

02:36:35.000 Do it, brother! 0.99

02:36:36.000 Fucking yeah, man! 0.99

02:36:37.000 We're all in this together! 0.99

02:36:38.000 It's exercise!

02:36:39.000 It's so good for you! 1.00

02:36:40.000 I fucking told you, mom! 1.00

02:36:41.000 You gotta come. 1.00

02:36:42.000 You gotta get it out of your body because if you don't, it pulls up and then your body starts getting desperate.

02:36:47.000 And lowers your testosterone.

02:36:48.000 Not only that, your mind starts getting desperate.

02:36:51.000 I remember I went on a dry spell when I was just out of high school. 0.99

02:36:55.000 I was a fucking complete total loser from 17 to like 18. That's a long time. 0.99

02:37:02.000 Dude, I was a fucking loser. 0.99

02:37:04.000 I didn't have nothing going on. 1.00

02:37:06.000 Couldn't get laid.

02:37:06.000 No money, couldn't get laid.

02:37:07.000 No, I had no money at all. 0.99

02:37:09.000 No girl didn't give a fuck about Taekwondo. 1.00

02:37:11.000 You were just wheel kicking and jacking off. 0.99

02:37:13.000 That's all I was doing, and I was so sad. 0.93

02:37:15.000 I couldn't get laid. 0.99

02:37:16.000 Damn. 1.00

02:37:17.000 I could not get laid. 1.00

02:37:18.000 It took forever.

02:37:20.000 And when I did get laid, I finally did get laid after six months.

02:37:22.000 I didn't even stick it in.

02:37:23.000 I like barely got in.

02:37:24.000 I was like, whoa!

02:37:25.000 Yep. 1.00

02:37:25.000 And I just was like, God, what a fucking loser I am. 1.00

02:37:28.000 But I remember the desperate feeling, like the desperate nature of it. 0.99

02:37:33.000 And then I started regularly beating off.

02:37:36.000 Like that's when I started regularly beating off.

02:37:39.000 Yeah.

02:37:39.000 Because I was just like, I had a girlfriend when I was like 16. I swear to God, I got laid before I beat off.

02:37:45.000 And people think that's a lie.

02:37:46.000 It is not a lie.

02:37:47.000 That is weird, though.

02:37:48.000 That's crazy.

02:37:49.000 I started beating off when I was five, and I'm not kidding.

02:37:52.000 I wish I knew about it.

02:37:53.000 Nobody talked to me.

02:37:54.000 Really? 1.00

02:37:54.000 I wish I figured out, like, oh, you get some Vaseline, and you fuck, woo, this is great. 1.00

02:37:58.000 Vaseline? 1.00

02:37:58.000 Not me. 1.00

02:37:58.000 As a kid, I used to rub it into the bed. 1.00

02:38:00.000 Vaseline?

02:38:00.000 That's all I had at the time.

02:38:01.000 You want that waterproof dick. 1.00

02:38:03.000 I like it looks freshly waxed. 1.00

02:38:05.000 Yeah, it's just... 0.99

02:38:06.000 Clean, fucking... 0.99

02:38:08.000 Dude, I remember being at maybe 5th or 6th grade and just having a boner in my sweats. 1.00

02:38:13.000 Just being like, how do I get rid of this thing?

02:38:16.000 I had no idea.

02:38:17.000 I was hiking and happening to me today.

02:38:18.000 You're just pulsating. 1.00

02:38:19.000 Just fucking jerk me. 1.00

02:38:20.000 Jerk me. 1.00

02:38:21.000 It's happening to me now when I'm hiking and I'm thinking about something dirty and all of a sudden I'm like, if somebody walks by me right now, I'm going to be a lone guy on a trail with a heart on me. 0.98

02:38:29.000 They say guys think of sex every three seconds.

02:38:32.000 Some girls do too. 1.00

02:38:33.000 There's a lot of freak girls out there. 1.00

02:38:34.000 Me too, bitch. 1.00

02:38:36.000 But um my point being that like one of my problems was I wasn't jerking off so I was desperate. 1.00

02:38:42.000 That's crazy.

02:38:43.000 I was desperate.

02:38:44.000 You're probably uber aggressive too.

02:38:46.000 I smelled of desperation. 1.00

02:38:47.000 I'm sure I was pathetic. 0.99

02:38:48.000 The girls could smell it. 1.00

02:38:49.000 Nah man, I was a loser. 1.00

02:38:50.000 I was a loser. 0.99

02:38:51.000 I was living with my parents. 0.99

02:38:52.000 I didn't have a future.

02:38:54.000 Just throwing wheel kicks.

02:38:54.000 I had nothing going on.

02:38:55.000 I'd won the state championships like one year.

02:38:58.000 I might not have even won it then because I first won it when I was 18. So I had no real accomplishments.

02:39:04.000 I remember those days, you're lost. 1.00

02:39:06.000 So who was the girl who was like, yeah, I'll suck your dick, Joe. 1.00

02:39:10.000 Well, she's had sex with me. 1.00

02:39:11.000 I don't think she blew me. 0.99

02:39:12.000 She jerked me off a couple times before we actually had sex sex. 1.00

02:39:15.000 And where'd you meet her? 1.00

02:39:18.000 Local girl.

02:39:19.000 She was from the town.

02:39:20.000 Yeah, her name was Donna.

02:39:21.000 Nice girl.

02:39:22.000 Because now kids can go on Instagram, Facebook, right?

02:39:24.000 So much easier.

02:39:25.000 It's so much easier to get chicks now.

02:39:27.000 It's also way more dangerous.

02:39:29.000 It's way more dangerous.

02:39:30.000 But back in the day, especially when you were a kid, it was just, you know, you met the girl and it's whatever.

02:39:34.000 If a girl had herpes, boy, they put a red flag on her. 0.99

02:39:37.000 They made her walk around with a flag.

02:39:39.000 Like, people knew.

02:39:40.000 People knew when people had things.

02:39:42.000 Tinder now, Tinder.

02:39:43.000 It's like, I see these guys on Bumble and Twitter.

02:39:46.000 If a hot girl can go, I like that guy, DM. God damn, son! 1.00

02:39:51.000 Yeah, if you want to get laid today and you're a guy, all you have to do is have a phone. 1.00

02:39:56.000 And you have to be, like, not totally disgusting. 0.87

02:39:59.000 Or have really low standards.

02:40:00.000 Or be 49 with two kids and a wife.

02:40:03.000 What?

02:40:03.000 That can make it tough.

02:40:06.000 That's a little bit of a roadblock.

02:40:07.000 You gotta learn about Russians.

02:40:09.000 Yeah, but then you worry too.

02:40:11.000 No, you go to Russia.

02:40:12.000 You just go on vacation and you come back.

02:40:14.000 Or Costa Rica.

02:40:16.000 Or Thailand.

02:40:16.000 Go to Costa Rica.

02:40:17.000 Try not getting your dick sucked. 1.00

02:40:18.000 Even when you don't want to. 1.00

02:40:19.000 Try not to?

02:40:20.000 Yes.

02:40:20.000 Good luck.

02:40:21.000 They just do it?

02:40:22.000 It's what they do.

02:40:24.000 It's what they do.

02:40:25.000 It's cultural.

02:40:26.000 You can't be rude. 0.95

02:40:27.000 You are misappropriating blowjob culture from other countries. 1.00

02:40:30.000 You're an asshole, third world, whatever. 1.00

02:40:32.000 Were they drunk? 1.00

02:40:33.000 Indigenous people.

02:40:35.000 Yeah.

02:40:35.000 Got to say all the key buzzwords.

02:40:37.000 Sorry.

02:40:37.000 Yeah.

02:40:38.000 I don't know what you're talking about, but I believe you.

02:40:41.000 One day.

02:40:43.000 One day.

02:40:44.000 One day we'll all be single and free.

02:40:46.000 That's right. 1.00

02:40:47.000 Old as fucking girls. 1.00

02:40:48.000 We should not get a timeshare, dude. 1.00

02:40:49.000 The three of us.

02:40:50.000 The three of us.

02:40:51.000 Hey, the house of wrinkles, girls. 0.99

02:40:53.000 Come on over.

02:40:54.000 Well, there's going to be some massive breakthroughs.

02:40:58.000 You think so?

02:40:59.000 I know so.

02:40:59.000 I know there's a massive breakthrough.

02:41:01.000 The same guy who came up with Regenikine is working on right now.

02:41:03.000 That's going to regenerate collagen in your body.

02:41:06.000 Yeah.

02:41:06.000 In a crazy way where it's going to eliminate wrinkles.

02:41:08.000 Come on.

02:41:09.000 So we'll never age?

02:41:10.000 Well, you're going to age. 1.00

02:41:11.000 You're going to fucking die. 1.00

02:41:12.000 You're just going to look good when you're dead. 1.00

02:41:14.000 That's awesome. 1.00

02:41:14.000 Yeah, but if you can keep your muscle structure and then they shoot that fucking shit in your body that regenerates collagen. 1.00

02:41:20.000 How long are we thinking? 0.99

02:41:21.000 Well, you don't know because there's all sorts of different things they're constantly working on.

02:41:25.000 So what we're talking about is what they have in 2016. What they have in 2016 will be unrecognizable in 2026 because it'll be on such a higher level.

02:41:34.000 It's all exponential because every single invention and every single technological breakthrough and every single medical breakthrough, they all converge together and they all build on each other.

02:41:45.000 That's right.

02:41:46.000 We're good to go.

02:42:06.000 Oh my god, what they're doing now is just the tip of the iceberg.

02:42:11.000 If we could just stay alive, if humans, I mean as a race, can stay alive for the next thousand years, what are we going to be like?

02:42:19.000 We'll outdate this machinery.

02:42:21.000 This biological machinery that we live in now. 1.00

02:42:23.000 Well you guys better hope the next 50 years they come up with some shit. 1.00

02:42:27.000 Or not, man. 1.00

02:42:28.000 You guys got about 50 years.

02:42:28.000 In the next 50 years.

02:42:29.000 I don't know if you really want to be on a planet where everyone can breed and no one dies.

02:42:34.000 Well not only that, follow this.

02:42:36.000 What if you can download all the information in your brain? 1.00

02:42:37.000 You have to start killing people like pigs. 0.99

02:42:39.000 So what does it say about accomplishment? 0.99

02:42:40.000 If you could download like how to be everything you wanted to be.

02:42:43.000 If you could take a program.

02:42:45.000 Did you see that recently?

02:42:46.000 No.

02:42:46.000 You haven't seen that?

02:42:46.000 No.

02:42:47.000 Oh my god.

02:42:47.000 Pull that up, Jamie.

02:42:49.000 What?

02:42:49.000 Scientists have figured out a way.

02:42:51.000 They are very confident that they're going to be able to download skills into your brain. 0.99

02:42:56.000 That fucks us. 1.00

02:42:57.000 Like the fucking Matrix. 1.00

02:42:59.000 Ah, that fucks us. 1.00

02:43:00.000 They're going to be able to download information and skills into your brain. 0.98

02:43:03.000 They're no one special anymore.

02:43:04.000 Well, not only is no one special, no one's going to look any different. 0.99

02:43:08.000 Everyone's going to look like fucking John Cena. 0.98

02:43:10.000 Oh, I don't want to be around for that. 0.99

02:43:11.000 I don't want to be around for that.

02:43:12.000 What is that end like?

02:43:13.000 What is that?

02:43:14.000 Thighs for wrists? 0.99

02:43:15.000 But I have to believe that there's a reason we're being nudged in that direction.

02:43:18.000 Scientists discover how to upload knowledge to your brain.

02:43:22.000 Look at this poor girl as the guinea pig. 1.00

02:43:23.000 Strap in, folks.

02:43:25.000 Strap in.

02:43:26.000 I mean, we're just at the beginning of this thing.

02:43:29.000 This is nuts, man.

02:43:31.000 Everything that's in the Matrix is all gonna be true. 1.00

02:43:34.000 Artificial reality, whether or not it's gonna take over the world like the Matrix, we're all gonna be locked into some fucking machine that feeds off your spine.

02:43:42.000 That's probably not gonna happen, but what is definitely gonna happen is virtual reality is gonna be indistinguishable from regular reality.

02:43:47.000 I always leave scared when we do these podcasts.

02:43:50.000 It's not scary, but it's fascinating.

02:43:54.000 It's fascinating.

02:43:55.000 But here's the thing.

02:43:57.000 Here's why he shouldn't be scared.

02:43:58.000 Because anybody who's ever lived ever, at any time, you can go back to Rome and grab Julius Caesar and take him to 2016. He would be like...

02:44:09.000 You gotta be fucking shitting me. 0.99

02:44:12.000 Any guy who lived the best life in the world hundreds of years ago or a thousand years ago would be nothing in comparison today. 1.00

02:44:21.000 If you had to go back, okay?

02:44:23.000 If you had to go back and you had to live in Leonardo da Vinci's town... 0.99

02:44:27.000 You'd want to fucking climb up on top of a windmill and jump the fuck off. 0.98

02:44:31.000 You'd be like, what? 1.00

02:44:32.000 I'm going to eat this shitty bread and we're all going to die of polio? 0.99

02:44:37.000 Get ready for the smallpox epidemic. 0.99

02:44:39.000 Or anything.

02:44:40.000 Anytime a rat's in town, everybody has to run. 1.00

02:44:43.000 The fucking fleas. 1.00

02:44:47.000 You've got to figure out a way to not die. 1.00

02:44:49.000 You didn't even know that it was...

02:44:50.000 That.

02:44:51.000 They didn't know anything. 1.00

02:44:51.000 There was witch's curses and shit. 1.00

02:44:53.000 They didn't know what the fuck was going on. 0.99

02:44:54.000 Or you could go back and be awesome. 0.95

02:44:56.000 You could.

02:44:57.000 If you knew what you know now.

02:44:58.000 Yeah.

02:44:59.000 Yeah, that's true. 1.00

02:45:00.000 I start drawing shit. 1.00

02:45:01.000 But human beings will evolve with their technology. 1.00

02:45:03.000 Like, oh shit, you heard of shop? 0.99

02:45:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:45:05.000 Know what you would do. 1.00

02:45:06.000 You would go back and start, you know, one day we would have a thing called a microwave oven. 0.74

02:45:09.000 And they'd say, he's a witch. 0.96

02:45:11.000 Light him on fire. 1.00

02:45:11.000 Yeah, they might kill me. 1.00

02:45:12.000 That's why they fought with swords, too. 0.57

02:45:14.000 And you had to be a badass.

02:45:16.000 I don't know if it favors a big man.

02:45:17.000 It favors the fastest guy.

02:45:19.000 Swords are no joke.

02:45:20.000 Swords definitely don't favor a big person.

02:45:21.000 They favor someone who's strong enough to swing the sword as fast as possible.

02:45:24.000 It's probably like a weight that you...

02:45:27.000 There's like a point of diminishing returns probably with sword fighting.

02:45:30.000 It's pretty final, sword fighting.

02:45:31.000 It's not so final.

02:45:32.000 You don't walk away from a bloody throat.

02:45:34.000 There's no ERs back then.

02:45:35.000 But what's interesting is Musashi was a big man.

02:45:37.000 Miyamoto Bonsashi was not a small man.

02:45:39.000 How big?

02:45:39.000 He was thick.

02:45:40.000 Well, it's hard to tell.

02:45:43.000 Because, you know, what they measured, I mean, I think they probably didn't use inches. 0.98

02:45:47.000 I mean, I don't know what the fuck they used. 0.98

02:45:49.000 He's described as being, I think, like, thick, though. 1.00

02:45:51.000 Like, big, big balls. 0.98

02:45:52.000 You know how small people were, though? 0.98

02:45:54.000 You know, we had a president, I forget which president, but he was 5'4", and he weighed 100 pounds.

02:46:00.000 Was it Taft?

02:46:01.000 I think it might have been Taft.

02:46:02.000 No, Taft was big.

02:46:04.000 Taff was a big giant.

02:46:05.000 Taff was the big fat guy.

02:46:06.000 Because when I made funny saying there's no fat presidents, people sent me pictures of Taff.

02:46:10.000 So I was reading this book with my kid the other day.

02:46:12.000 And it's all about presidents and weird facts about presidents.

02:46:17.000 But one of the guys was 100 pounds.

02:46:19.000 So he's half my size.

02:46:23.000 That's like a hobbit. 1.00

02:46:25.000 Running the fucking... 1.00

02:46:26.000 That's like Christy Mack. 1.00

02:46:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:46:28.000 Well, I doubt he has that ass. 1.00

02:46:30.000 She's probably like 110. Smallest U.S. president. 1.00

02:46:33.000 He's 5'4".

02:46:35.000 100 pounds.

02:46:36.000 Smallest U.S. president.

02:46:37.000 Who was it?

02:46:38.000 James Madison.

02:46:39.000 I should have known that.

02:46:41.000 I didn't even know he was president until I was reading my daughter's book.

02:46:45.000 Madison was one of the authors of the Federalist Papers.

02:46:47.000 How many presidents can you name?

02:46:48.000 I can name maybe five.

02:46:50.000 Maybe five to ten?

02:46:52.000 Who is our third president? 0.99

02:46:54.000 Some douchebag. 0.98

02:46:55.000 Jefferson. 0.99

02:46:56.000 Okay, how about Lincoln?

02:46:57.000 Was he 16?

02:46:58.000 Yep.

02:46:59.000 George Washington was number one.

02:47:01.000 Who's number two? 0.96

02:47:01.000 Nobody gives a fuck because nobody cares about number two. 0.96

02:47:03.000 He's the first loser. 0.99

02:47:04.000 It's Alexander Hamilton. 0.93

02:47:05.000 It doesn't work that way.

02:47:06.000 He doesn't work that way.

02:47:07.000 He's not a loser.

02:47:08.000 It was Alexander Hamilton.

02:47:09.000 He was a winner.

02:47:09.000 He was a new president.

02:47:10.000 James Madison.

02:47:10.000 Wait, it was Alexander Hamilton, Jefferson, Washington, Hamilton, Jefferson.

02:47:15.000 Didn't you major in history?

02:47:16.000 You know who we really dismiss for one-term presidents?

02:47:21.000 Wasn't Hamilton the guy that was terrible? 0.98

02:47:23.000 He was getting all his fucking friends jobs and he was really corrupt and literally wound up saying, I'm not fit for this job. 0.99

02:47:29.000 I don't think it was Hamilton. 0.99

02:47:30.000 He sounds pretty awesome.

02:47:31.000 No, you're right.

02:47:31.000 It wasn't Hamilton.

02:47:32.000 It was someone else.

02:47:33.000 Find out whose quote was that?

02:47:35.000 I was not fit for this job.

02:47:38.000 One of the presidents.

02:47:39.000 Harding?

02:47:41.000 Harding was considered...

02:47:42.000 I think it was Harding was considered the worst president because he was very handsome.

02:47:46.000 He was very good looking.

02:47:47.000 I think it was Warren Harding.

02:47:49.000 I think it was Warren Harding.

02:47:50.000 And he was very handsome, but he was a bad president.

02:47:53.000 He just was not a very smart guy.

02:47:54.000 I think he looked really presidential.

02:47:56.000 How about... 1.00

02:47:56.000 I heard JFK was just a fucking ladies man. 1.00

02:48:02.000 Did you hear that? 1.00

02:48:02.000 3,000. 1.00

02:48:03.000 That's weird.

02:48:03.000 You really heard that?

02:48:04.000 Oh, yeah.

02:48:05.000 Yes.

02:48:05.000 Hey...

02:48:06.000 Hey, this is breaking news. 0.99

02:48:07.000 Along with taking McGregor down, JFK got some bitches. 1.00

02:48:10.000 Did you ever see his medical records and what a physical wreck he was? 0.99

02:48:13.000 Oh, really?

02:48:14.000 Treated for gonorrhea, treated for all kinds of stuff.

02:48:15.000 Yeah, it was Andrew Jackson.

02:48:17.000 Wow.

02:48:18.000 Jackson was a guy who essentially was considered, first of all, he'd seen a lot of battle.

02:48:24.000 He'd killed a lot of Native Americans.

02:48:26.000 No, no, no.

02:48:26.000 This is the wrong quote.

02:48:28.000 This is the wrong quote.

02:48:29.000 That's not...

02:48:29.000 Andrew Jackson was talking about being a great general and not being a great president.

02:48:35.000 He had been shot in a duel and he had a hole in his lung that would perforate at times.

02:48:40.000 I'm obsessed with JFK. JFK had gonorrhea and all sorts of shit. 1.00

02:48:43.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:48:44.000 He had terrible back problems.

02:48:47.000 He was on so many drugs.

02:48:49.000 Look it up.

02:48:50.000 The New York Times ran a whole thing on it.

02:48:51.000 I couldn't believe his medical...

02:48:53.000 What was his back issue?

02:48:54.000 From partying or what?

02:48:56.000 He had a...

02:48:56.000 I think it was a congenital...

02:48:58.000 He fucked his back out. 1.00

02:48:59.000 This fucking dude just kept going. 1.00

02:49:00.000 He just kept going. 1.00

02:49:01.000 We need to celebrate this guy.

02:49:04.000 He wore a brace.

02:49:05.000 He wore a body brace under his suit.

02:49:07.000 From what though?

02:49:07.000 And he had to be in pools.

02:49:09.000 He had some kind of degenerative disease, I think, of the back.

02:49:12.000 Well, you threw out gonorrhea and herpes and stuff too.

02:49:14.000 And he was treated for gonorrhea.

02:49:17.000 If you look at his medical records, it's pretty unbelievable.

02:49:20.000 When they treated you for gonorrhea, did they even get it back then?

02:49:23.000 Penicillin, I think?

02:49:24.000 A type of penicillin?

02:49:28.000 What kind of lab tests did they do back then?

02:49:32.000 It's pretty easy to cure.

02:49:34.000 Yeah.

02:49:34.000 With antibiotics.

02:49:36.000 Who knows what kind of shit this guy had. 0.99

02:49:38.000 Well, diseases are weird, man, because occasionally diseases come along and they're not exactly sure what you have. 1.00

02:49:43.000 Then they have to ask, where you been?

02:49:45.000 Where'd you go?

02:49:46.000 And then they have to try to sort of narrow it down and test for a bunch of different things.

02:49:51.000 Well, they say this is an urban myth, but the guy emailed this story to me where the girl goes to the doctor.

02:49:57.000 She's got a rash on her face.

02:49:59.000 The doctor's like, what is going on here?

02:50:00.000 He couldn't figure out a dozen sample.

02:50:02.000 Comes up and goes, can I ask you a question?

02:50:04.000 He goes, you have necritis on your face.

02:50:08.000 You have a bacteria that you get from dead bodies.

02:50:10.000 Have you been around dead bodies?

02:50:12.000 She goes, no.

02:50:12.000 And he said, where'd you go?

02:50:14.000 She goes, I was in Ireland.

02:50:16.000 Did you hook up with anybody?

02:50:17.000 She said, yeah, a guy in a bar.

02:50:18.000 He goes, do you have his number?

02:50:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.

02:50:21.000 Turns out the guy worked in a morgue. 0.99

02:50:23.000 And he was fucking... 1.00

02:50:26.000 She sucked that zombie dick? 1.00

02:50:29.000 And she sucked his dick. 1.00

02:50:30.000 I was told that's an urban myth, but this is what the guy emailed me and told me the story. 1.00

02:50:35.000 Jesus Christ.

02:50:37.000 It's a good story if it's true.

02:50:38.000 Well, let's go further.

02:50:39.000 Then she started time traveling and went back to the time before she did it.

02:50:42.000 And then there became two of her, and the two of her plotted to take over the world. 0.99

02:50:46.000 He's just making shit up at this point. 0.99

02:50:47.000 Very possible. 0.99

02:50:48.000 We don't know.

02:50:49.000 It's a good story, though, right?

02:50:49.000 It's a good story, but you've got to Google these things.

02:50:52.000 No, I've got it right here. 1.00

02:50:53.000 Get on your goddamn phone. 1.00

02:50:54.000 It makes sense. 1.00

02:50:55.000 Hey, get your phone.

02:50:56.000 Get your phone.

02:50:57.000 Hold it far away from you so we can use our...

02:51:00.000 My eyes are so bad now.

02:51:01.000 They're so good at, like, this distance.

02:51:03.000 They're perfect.

02:51:04.000 But then your phone...

02:51:05.000 Oh, right here.

02:51:06.000 You're always like...

02:51:07.000 Yeah, lucky I don't have to read my own fingerprints. 0.99

02:51:10.000 I don't know what the fuck's going on here. 0.99

02:51:11.000 It's just a pink bludge. 0.99

02:51:13.000 Story's kind of legit though.

02:51:15.000 Makes sense.

02:51:16.000 Sort of.

02:51:17.000 Sort of makes sense.

02:51:17.000 I can see it happening.

02:51:19.000 It makes sense that dead bodies would have bacteria on them that would be eating the dead body.

02:51:24.000 And if you had any sort of an infection or a cut.

02:51:26.000 On your mouth.

02:51:27.000 Or you didn't wash and it got into your system.

02:51:31.000 Sure.

02:51:31.000 That makes sense.

02:51:32.000 Who fucks dead bodies? 1.00

02:51:33.000 Oh, a lot of people. 0.99

02:51:35.000 Yeah, it's been a real problem many, many times in funeral homes.

02:51:40.000 Yes, I told you my acting teacher, right, when he came out, his mother died.

02:51:44.000 He told the story. 0.99

02:51:45.000 His mother dies, fucking goes to see her body in the morgue, and the guy's coming out, putting his pants on, sweating. 0.99

02:51:51.000 And he looked at the guy, and the guy looked at him, and he goes... 1.00

02:51:54.000 You fucked my mother. 1.00

02:51:55.000 He didn't say it, but he knew it. 1.00

02:51:56.000 He never said anything.

02:51:57.000 The guy just ran out. 0.99

02:51:58.000 Oh, I beat the fuck out of that guy. 1.00

02:51:58.000 And he just went, fuck that guy. 1.00

02:52:00.000 Why didn't he go check his mom's box? 1.00

02:52:02.000 He did.

02:52:02.000 Oh.

02:52:03.000 He did?

02:52:04.000 Well, I don't know if he checked her box.

02:52:05.000 You gotta check the box. 1.00

02:52:07.000 You gotta check that ass. 1.00

02:52:08.000 Let me pull out my kit. 1.00

02:52:09.000 Can you imagine?

02:52:09.000 Let me put my kit out.

02:52:10.000 You'd have to kill someone. 0.99

02:52:11.000 Well, maybe. 0.95

02:52:12.000 And by the way, I don't think you do jail time for that.

02:52:15.000 You would get a fine for it.

02:52:16.000 Oh, no.

02:52:16.000 You go in jail, son.

02:52:17.000 No, no, no.

02:52:17.000 No.

02:52:18.000 Huh?

02:52:19.000 You're going to jail.

02:52:22.000 There's a law about mishandling a dead body, but it's not really...

02:52:26.000 There you go.

02:52:28.000 It's a legend.

02:52:29.000 It's been told over and over again for a long time.

02:52:32.000 There you go.

02:52:33.000 For many of you.

02:52:33.000 Scroll down and see if there's any possibility.

02:52:37.000 See, scroll down, blah, blah, blah.

02:52:39.000 Oh, these are the same emails over and over and over again. 0.99

02:52:42.000 Sounds like the girl got herpes from whatever reason and started fucking making stuff up. 1.00

02:52:46.000 There's certain things that are supposed to be urban mess, but you find out they're true. 0.99

02:52:50.000 Charles Manson endorsing Trump is not false.

02:52:54.000 Who cares what Charles Manson endorses?

02:52:56.000 You know what's weird? 0.99

02:52:56.000 The Trump guys who are putting fucking SS-style bands around their arms. 0.99

02:53:01.000 Have you seen this shit? 1.00

02:53:03.000 No, can't do that. 1.00

02:53:03.000 These idiots are taking bumper stickers, Trump bumper stickers, and they're wrapping them around their arms like Hitler arm bands. 1.00

02:53:08.000 Jesus, man. 1.00

02:53:09.000 That's a bad look. 0.99

02:53:10.000 White people just get so wacky. 1.00

02:53:12.000 Fucking white people, man. 1.00

02:53:13.000 You know what it is? 1.00

02:53:14.000 White people are a lot like the economy, the economy cyclical. 1.00

02:53:17.000 White people are on an upswing. 0.94

02:53:19.000 Right now, they're on an upswing with Trump.

02:53:20.000 Everything was all good.

02:53:21.000 Yeah.

02:53:22.000 Look at these guys.

02:53:23.000 Okay. 1.00

02:53:23.000 Look at these dipshits. 1.00

02:53:24.000 That's not good. 1.00

02:53:25.000 These guys have fucking bumper stickers around their arm like Trump is the new Hitler. 1.00

02:53:31.000 Eh, it's kind of macho. 1.00

02:53:32.000 No, oh my god, it's not a bumper sticker! 1.00

02:53:37.000 Some real Nazi shit. 1.00

02:53:37.000 Oh, it says mostly false. 1.00

02:53:39.000 I actually found this on Snopes without even knowing it was on Snopes.

02:53:42.000 Okay, just two guys.

02:53:44.000 Two young women were photographed wearing Nazi-style arms.

02:53:46.000 Okay, you know what?

02:53:47.000 They probably wanted us to talk to them.

02:53:50.000 Okay, what's false?

02:53:51.000 Hold on, scroll down.

02:53:52.000 The two men were legitimate Trump supporters and the use of Nazi armbands expressed their genuine political beliefs.

02:53:57.000 So they really did it.

02:53:58.000 What were they doing?

02:53:59.000 Were they joking around?

02:54:00.000 It doesn't mean they're Nazis.

02:54:01.000 What were they doing?

02:54:02.000 Just wearing an armband.

02:54:03.000 Fox News tweet, the supporters of Republican presidential, Donald Trump, spotted in Florida, rally, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

02:54:10.000 Not dissimilar.

02:54:11.000 Okay, but what is it?

02:54:12.000 What's really going on?

02:54:13.000 Scroll down.

02:54:15.000 So what are they saying?

02:54:15.000 The armband was one of many invoked of Nazi imagery, bleep, [...

02:54:21.000 Okay.

02:54:21.000 But what is it saying?

02:54:23.000 What is it saying?

02:54:24.000 How is it not true?

02:54:26.000 However, it appeared that the initial tweet was sent without much verification as to whether Trump armbands were a legitimate campaign memorabilia sported unironically by dutiful supporters of the GOP presidential hopeful.

02:54:43.000 Not long after the image hit Twitter, hard users began pointing out that the Trump supporters looked awfully familiar.

02:54:50.000 So who are they?

02:54:51.000 Oh, they're jokes.

02:54:53.000 They're comedians.

02:54:55.000 Oh, they're comics.

02:54:57.000 Political pranksters. 1.00

02:54:58.000 Oh, they're just trying to fuck it. 1.00

02:54:59.000 They win. 1.00

02:55:00.000 They got us.

02:55:02.000 Well, now we know.

02:55:03.000 Well played.

02:55:04.000 People were sending that today, and I was like, what? 0.99

02:55:08.000 Did you see when they grew a fucking dinosaur leg on a chicken? 0.99

02:55:11.000 What? 1.00

02:55:11.000 A real dinosaur leg? 1.00

02:55:12.000 No. 0.99

02:55:15.000 Goddammit. 1.00

02:55:15.000 Jurassic Park is gonna fucking happen. 1.00

02:55:19.000 And I will be the first one there. 0.98

02:55:22.000 I will be the first one there to see T-Rex.

02:55:24.000 You are the ultimate American consumer.

02:55:26.000 You'll be there with fresh Yeezys on.

02:55:28.000 But yeah!

02:55:29.000 A new hairdo.

02:55:30.000 What?

02:55:30.000 Look at this.

02:55:31.000 Synthetic DNA. You're going to create your own animal from your own imagination.

02:55:35.000 Scientists have grown dinosaur legs on a chicken for the first time. 1.00

02:55:39.000 What in the fuck? 1.00

02:55:40.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:55:42.000 How about you guys cure cancer? 1.00

02:55:44.000 Yeah! 1.00

02:55:45.000 How about you figure out a way to get salt out of the ocean, you assholes? 1.00

02:55:48.000 Stop making dinosaurs! 1.00

02:55:50.000 It's all part of it.

02:55:50.000 I hope you help the ozone.

02:55:52.000 Fuck a chicken with a dinosaur. 1.00

02:55:54.000 It's all part of it. 1.00

02:55:54.000 It is all part of it, right? 1.00

02:55:55.000 Of course.

02:55:55.000 We shouldn't expect these guys to make better cell phones.

02:55:58.000 They have a different field of study.

02:56:00.000 They're not about that life.

02:56:01.000 They're about chickens and dinosaurs.

02:56:03.000 They're not about that life!

02:56:04.000 Yo, I ain't about that, bro.

02:56:06.000 I ain't about that, bro. 0.99

02:56:07.000 I'm about making dino legs on some pigeons and shit. 0.99

02:56:11.000 Dino legs. 1.00

02:56:14.000 It's so ridiculous. 0.99

02:56:15.000 That's someone's job. 0.99

02:56:16.000 Dude, I'll tell you, when you watch chickens eat, you realize they're just dinosaurs.

02:56:19.000 They're just little.

02:56:20.000 They're little dinosaurs.

02:56:21.000 They can't kill you, so they just deal with you. 0.99

02:56:22.000 When they can make dick cells, how big do you think guys are going to get? 1.00

02:56:26.000 No one is going to have a little dick anymore, that's for sure. 0.99

02:56:29.000 That's for sure. 1.00

02:56:30.000 No one's just going to say, I'm pro to my natural dick. 0.99

02:56:32.000 But how big are you going to get? 1.00

02:56:33.000 How big is your dick going to get? 1.00

02:56:35.000 Guys get weird. 1.00

02:56:37.000 Without having surgery? 1.00

02:56:38.000 Like you just inject my dick? 1.00

02:56:39.000 Yeah, if you can gene dope or whatever it is. 1.00

02:56:41.000 I'll take four inches.

02:56:42.000 CRISPR. They're gonna use CRISPR. Yeah, CRISPR's badass.

02:56:44.000 Yeah, your dick's gonna be at least a foot long, and girls' pussies are gonna grow. 1.00

02:56:48.000 I had a whole bit about this. 1.00

02:56:50.000 If they did come up with big dick pills, like those commercials that Ron Jeremy used to sell at 3 o'clock in the morning, if it was real, if those pills really did make your dick bigger, it would be about 30 seconds before the first guy died of an overdose. 0.98

02:57:03.000 I'm like, because no one's taking one pill. 0.99

02:57:05.000 Hell, we always overdo.

02:57:06.000 How many gives me a stroke? 0.99

02:57:07.000 And the problem is, dicks would be so big, the vaginas would grow too, because people would still have to breed and they would evolve. 1.00

02:57:12.000 They'd have to adapt. 0.99

02:57:14.000 I said they would turn into giant flying squirrel pussy people. 1.00

02:57:17.000 They would just be able to, dudes with big dicks, they'd have them in shopping carts, they'd be chasing these girls to the top of cliffs, and the women would just leap to safety. 1.00

02:57:24.000 Like flying squirrels. 1.00

02:57:26.000 Open their pussy up like a giant flying squirrel. 1.00

02:57:30.000 Imagine what kind of weird shapes people are going to come into. 1.00

02:57:34.000 Like, now, what we're dealing with now is people that are starting to explore the possibility of modifying their body with tattoos or with piercings or weird shit.

02:57:42.000 But once you can change the shape...

02:57:45.000 You know, you're gonna lose the funny, you're gonna lose, you know, personality and people.

02:57:49.000 Yeah, it's not good, man.

02:57:50.000 I think people have variety, though, just because everybody has a different idea of what's beautiful.

02:57:53.000 Everybody has a different idea of what they want.

02:57:55.000 Someone's gonna want to be the Hulk. 0.99

02:57:56.000 You might have more variety.

02:57:57.000 What guy's gonna be like, no, I want to be 5'1", man. 1.00

02:58:00.000 I like having a little dick. 1.00

02:58:01.000 I want to keep these tits and small dick. 1.00

02:58:03.000 I want to look like Madison. 1.00

02:58:04.000 You'll have less people who are longing for something, right?

02:58:07.000 If you have an ability and the money...

02:58:09.000 If it's fake, yeah.

02:58:10.000 But there'll still be people left out because it's going to cost money.

02:58:12.000 Do you think it'll be like reading?

02:58:15.000 You know, like it used to be a long time ago that reading was a luxury that very few people could read.

02:58:19.000 And they couldn't afford books.

02:58:21.000 Right, now pretty much everybody could read, anybody could get books, and not only that, you can get so much off the internet that's free.

02:58:26.000 Like, you can get, your access to information today is better than it's ever been before. 0.99

02:58:30.000 Yeah, fuck a library. 0.99

02:58:31.000 What if your access to changing your body will follow a similar path? 1.00

02:58:33.000 It doesn't mean we'll be happier, and it doesn't mean that we'll be more fulfilled, I would imagine.

02:58:37.000 I think the responsibility of creating your own fulfillment will still remain.

02:58:42.000 100%.

02:58:42.000 And that's, they can make artificial happiness.

02:58:44.000 God damn it, Joe. 0.99

02:58:45.000 The problem is, like, what? 1.00

02:58:46.000 That'd be like being on drugs, right?

02:58:47.000 Yeah.

02:58:48.000 Well, the problem is what is happening is really based on.

02:58:50.000 You're talking about ecstasy now, aren't you?

02:58:52.000 I'm talking about ecstasy all day.

02:58:53.000 If you were just rolling all day, but no negative repercussions. 0.99

02:58:57.000 Can't get shit done? 0.97

02:58:59.000 Art wouldn't be created, right? 1.00

02:59:00.000 Who needs art when you get your dick sucked while you're on ecstasy on a roller coaster? 1.00

02:59:04.000 That's the art, son! 1.00

02:59:04.000 How about you fly like an eagle? 1.00

02:59:06.000 You guys are fucking godless, you know? 1.00

02:59:09.000 Godless fucks. 1.00

02:59:10.000 My god is CRISPR. That's the new god. 1.00

02:59:13.000 Because we're controlling our own evolution.

02:59:14.000 I wonder, man.

02:59:15.000 I wonder what it's going to look like.

02:59:16.000 I mean, it's going to change.

02:59:18.000 It's not going to just...

02:59:18.000 No one's ever going to go, hey, everybody, let's just go camping.

02:59:22.000 Let's stop all this.

02:59:23.000 Right.

02:59:23.000 We're not going to do that.

02:59:25.000 Those dudes that are growing dinosaur legs and chickens... 0.99

02:59:28.000 But the satisfaction...

02:59:29.000 I wish I had a friend who was doing that.

02:59:30.000 The satisfaction you get from overcoming the impossible...

02:59:34.000 It's almost as good as learning Kung Fu in The Matrix.

02:59:36.000 That's actually better.

02:59:37.000 But if someone can take the shortcut, don't you think the masses, if they can take the shortcut to doing that, they're not going to put the work in?

02:59:44.000 If I can download it?

02:59:45.000 What I'm saying is that there may be shortcuts in certain areas, but we'll still have challenges.

02:59:51.000 I hope you're right, Brian.

02:59:52.000 Yeah, so if you're really good at something, if you're really good at whatever you want to be, I wonder if...

02:59:57.000 For example, what I like about tennis, what you like about archery, what you like about boxing, whatever it is, is the repetition and the state it puts you in and the slow attrition of a skill set is immensely satisfying, right?

03:00:12.000 I wonder if you can just do it right away.

03:00:14.000 I wonder if all the fun goes away.

03:00:16.000 That's a very good point.

03:00:17.000 It's no more a mystery.

03:00:17.000 It's not a mystery.

03:00:18.000 You're not learning anything.

03:00:19.000 Because when you're hitting a ball really well or you're boxing really well one day and you know you go...

03:00:23.000 You have a goal.

03:00:24.000 Yeah, and you go, today I hit it.

03:00:26.000 And if you don't have something to compare that to, I think what happens is you end up being generally copacetic.

03:00:34.000 Probably.

03:00:35.000 And I wonder what it says about happiness.

03:00:37.000 I would download skateboarding. 0.87

03:00:38.000 Just a big ass dude skateboarding like Tony Hawk.

03:00:41.000 I think who you are right now is based on what our ideas are right now about what people want and what people need and what makes us happy.

03:00:48.000 One of the things that makes us happy is overcoming adversity, trying to figure out puzzles, trying to set goals and accomplishing Beating the odds.

03:00:54.000 Setting goals and accomplishing them is one of the biggest sources of happiness.

03:00:57.000 One of the things that people say, like if you really want to be happy, you should have projects and you should set goals and you should try to accomplish those.

03:01:03.000 And for whatever reason, it's probably just some deep-seated evolutionary reason, something that's in our DNA. We have this desire to achieve things.

03:01:12.000 And when we do achieve them, it gives us this feeling of happiness.

03:01:14.000 And if you don't do that, like the most regretful, sorrowful, depressed people rarely set goals and rarely achieve those set goals.

03:01:23.000 For whatever reason, whether or not to create- And they hate on others who are trying to achieve those goals.

03:01:28.000 So what it is, what we're doing kind of, is like some sort of a weird balancing act with our ancient primate minds, right?

03:01:35.000 So our ancient primate minds which wanted to survive, they wanted to gather food, they wanted to figure out things like, how do I catch this fish?

03:01:42.000 How do I start a fire?

03:01:44.000 And all these different desires that we had to both breed, protect our territory, overcome...

03:01:51.000 And they manifest themselves as like rewards.

03:01:54.000 And these human rewards are in our system.

03:01:56.000 And we intrinsically link those rewards in this system to life.

03:02:02.000 And this is the only way to live.

03:02:04.000 And this is the way we live because we've always lived like this.

03:02:06.000 But if we can completely...

03:02:09.000 Remove ourselves from the biological process.

03:02:12.000 Completely remove ourselves from the lust and the greed and the...

03:02:17.000 What do we become?

03:02:19.000 And is that actually a better way to live?

03:02:21.000 It's a good question, but I think that you have to add another dimension to what you said, which is, yes, there is that evolutionary notion of reward that creates a feeling of, for example, safety and whatever it might be.

03:02:36.000 But I wonder also if...

03:02:38.000 The other reason that we seem to have this need to get better at something, like just say the violin or whatever it might be, I think that there's another thing that happens to you when you get really good at something, when you develop a deep skill.

03:02:52.000 I think you get a better understanding of you.

03:02:56.000 Like you come closer to who you truly are in your essence.

03:03:00.000 The notion that when you do something for the sake of its own doing, which would be considered play, That's how you would define probably play.

03:03:10.000 That's when you are the most authentic and truly yourself.

03:03:14.000 Yeah, and I feel like human beings not only have a nostalgia, like a built-in nostalgia to try to find who they were originally, but I think also, it's just my general idea that...

03:03:25.000 I wonder if, because the internet is bringing us all together, and we're getting a deeper understanding of what it is to be each other, in one way or another, and pretty soon if you can download not only information, but what it's like to be Joe Rogan into my brain.

03:03:39.000 Well, if that's bringing us all together, then I wonder if the end goal is something in the area of deep self-knowledge and deep knowledge, deep human knowledge, sort of this, creating this neural net so we are all,

03:03:56.000 sorry for the word, one, you know?

03:03:59.000 That seems to be...

03:04:00.000 I don't know if that's a good thing.

03:04:01.000 That spiritual dimension, that thing that's hard to measure, Has always existed in human beings.

03:04:07.000 We somehow always want, and I think it's where religion comes from, where inspiration comes from, we seem to always want to reach beyond ourselves.

03:04:17.000 What is that about?

03:04:18.000 You think that's always going to be there, no matter what?

03:04:20.000 I don't think it's always going to be there.

03:04:21.000 I don't think it's going to be there if we're operating inside of the biological parameters that we currently have to operate inside of.

03:04:26.000 You're saying if we can get out of there.

03:04:27.000 That mystery will be taken away from us.

03:04:29.000 What if they can eliminate greed?

03:04:31.000 What if the instinct of greed can be located in our genome and can be eliminated?

03:04:37.000 I don't know if that's good, because greed might be...

03:04:39.000 Exactly.

03:04:40.000 It might be valuable.

03:04:41.000 Creates greatness a lot of times.

03:04:42.000 Jealousy might be valuable, too.

03:04:44.000 Greed also may be that primordial need to amass as much food and as much safety and as much power so that you stay alive.

03:04:55.000 Yes.

03:04:55.000 The one thing we know is that human beings across the board love one thing above all, and that is immortality.

03:05:01.000 They want to live forever.

03:05:02.000 What I'm thinking is a lot of our ideas of what was valuable and what we want and what we need and what is just part of life, a lot of those ideas are only based on the current model of human that exists.

03:05:15.000 Exactly. 0.94

03:05:16.000 When they start manipulating shit and downloading new thoughts in your mind, do you want to go fucking meditate in an ashram for 10 years and sweep up and just om all day in the corner? 1.00

03:05:28.000 Or how about they just press a button and shoot some shit straight into your brain and you could read minds? 1.00

03:05:34.000 You're going to take that. 1.00

03:05:35.000 You're going to take instant enlightenment.

03:05:37.000 You're going to take... 0.57

03:05:39.000 The ability to transcend all of our biological impulses, including the dumb ones, like self-doubt and hate and jealousy. 0.75

03:05:48.000 God, we're not human anymore. 0.77

03:05:50.000 Exactly.

03:05:51.000 That's the real thing.

03:05:52.000 You can even, like Ray Kurzweil, who created this sort of movement of Kurzweilists, the notion that, all right, we all say we're going to die.

03:06:01.000 We all know human beings have one goal.

03:06:03.000 It's to stay alive forever.

03:06:04.000 It's why we do great work and we want it to live on.

03:06:06.000 We have children.

03:06:07.000 That's why we're so attached to our children.

03:06:09.000 But that's not necessarily true, because we do because we enjoy it while we're doing it.

03:06:13.000 Well, that too.

03:06:14.000 Yeah.

03:06:14.000 100%.

03:06:14.000 I don't think you have kids thinking you're going to live on.

03:06:17.000 I don't think you make a compliment.

03:06:19.000 You don't make a painting, no, this will go on forever.

03:06:21.000 You have this idea in your head and you want to express yourself.

03:06:23.000 Yeah.

03:06:24.000 Yeah, I agree with you on that, but I just think that overall, if you looked at the general...

03:06:30.000 Over overarching sort of desire and need in a human being.

03:06:33.000 It's probably we all want to live forever.

03:06:35.000 We don't want to die.

03:06:36.000 Well, I think it's just a fear of death.

03:06:38.000 Yeah, it's more of a fear because that's on my list because we all know we're going to die.

03:06:41.000 But follow this.

03:06:42.000 So if we can download our essence, if I could download everything that's in your brain, your memories and your paradigm, your thought paradigm, whatever the words are, and then I could put that into a computer.

03:06:54.000 Or a robot.

03:06:55.000 Yeah, then you kind of keep living forever in a way, right?

03:06:59.000 When you change like whatever you are if they download you and put you in a computer Are they gonna have all your flaws?

03:07:06.000 Is it gonna be filled with all your insecurities?

03:07:09.000 Is it gonna be a liar?

03:07:11.000 Imagine the computer becomes a liar Imagine if the computer develops its own insecurities and it changes who you are and starts going down its own weird emotional paths.

03:07:20.000 Those are programmed in.

03:07:21.000 No, most likely you're going to program something where they're going to probably have to differentiate between What you are and what you love and what your memories are and all the negative stuff.

03:07:33.000 Well, part of what makes you great and your essence, in my opinion, all three of us, and I don't know Jamie well enough, but I'm sure, is our reaction.

03:07:43.000 A big part of our personalities, in my opinion, is a reaction to our shortcomings.

03:07:50.000 Is the compensation, the measures we've taken to compensate for our Limitations.

03:07:57.000 Well, not just that.

03:07:58.000 Your experiences.

03:07:59.000 The trials and tribulations.

03:08:02.000 The failures and successes.

03:08:03.000 The struggle.

03:08:04.000 The struggle defines your personality.

03:08:06.000 You show me a guy who doesn't do anything, and I'll show you a guy who can't do anything.

03:08:10.000 You show me a guy or a woman who's accomplished all sorts of things. 0.98

03:08:14.000 She can continue to accomplish things because she knows how to get shit done. 1.00

03:08:18.000 She's also learned how to fail and be successful. 0.97

03:08:21.000 Anyone who's successful has failed so many times.

03:08:25.000 Well, that's where wisdom comes from.

03:08:26.000 Wisdom is the acknowledgement not only of your limitations, but wisdom is also knowing what to do with those limitations. 0.99

03:08:33.000 Until they fucking strap you to that machine and shove those fucking genius thoughts right into your dome, son. 0.98

03:08:39.000 Isn't that the same as being high, though, all the time? 1.00

03:08:42.000 Isn't that the same as keeping the DMT trip going forever?

03:08:45.000 Well, the DMT trip removes reality as we know it.

03:08:48.000 That's where it gets weird.

03:08:50.000 It takes you to another dimension, right?

03:08:53.000 Well, we don't know that.

03:08:54.000 It certainly feels like that.

03:08:56.000 It could just be hallucinations.

03:08:58.000 It could all be going on in your head.

03:08:59.000 It's the best thing I've ever done.

03:09:02.000 What you get from it.

03:09:03.000 I didn't tattoo it on my arm for no reason.

03:09:04.000 What you get from it is something that is exactly the same.

03:09:09.000 Like someone say, maybe it's all in your head when you trip, maybe it's not really happening.

03:09:14.000 Okay, maybe.

03:09:15.000 However, the experience is exactly the same.

03:09:17.000 If you really are going into another dimension, you really are experiencing love in its purest form and forgiveness and just love.

03:09:25.000 100% wisdom like all the bullshit and all the flaws of your thinking and all of the Ridiculous aspects of the world around you revealed in some Wonderful dance by jesters who are giving you the finger in a never-ending complex geometric pattern even if it's not real It's still the same experience.

03:09:46.000 Sure. 0.90

03:09:47.000 Like if you really do go to that dimension and you really do experience these incredibly enlightened beings and they really do instill upon you wisdom and you really do hold on to a few grains of that sand that slips through your finger, you hold on to a little bit of it while you're there.

03:10:00.000 You got handfuls, but you just hold on to a little bit.

03:10:02.000 It's still the same experience. 1.00

03:10:03.000 Yeah, that shit's real, son. 0.99

03:10:04.000 Yeah, it's a little bit like, you know, what changed the way I... Argue is that somebody said, look, you may think that that person's point of view is shitty, or you don't have respect for it, or maybe they're acting crazy. 1.00

03:10:16.000 To them, those feelings and emotions are very real.

03:10:19.000 So if you start the argument by saying, like, that's why, if you look at, like, political discussions in this country, it's hilarious.

03:10:24.000 You get gun rights advocates, and you have gun control advocates. 1.00

03:10:27.000 The first thing they do is they go, you're a gun nut, and the other ones go, you're a bleeding heart liberal pussy. 1.00

03:10:32.000 You start the argument there and guess what? 1.00

03:10:36.000 Nobody's having a conversation anymore because you just said, I don't like you.

03:10:39.000 Atheists and religious people.

03:10:41.000 Religious people.

03:10:42.000 Feminazis, male rights, MRAs. 1.00

03:10:44.000 Yes.

03:10:44.000 You'll never have a marriage between the religious, you know, the people who are very religious and people who are strictly scientific because what happens is instead of saying that religious person is religious and he gains inspiration and a feeling that's very important to that person.

03:11:00.000 And they're going to guard that feeling because it makes them feel good about the world. 0.88

03:11:03.000 If you come in as an atheist or a scientist and say, everything about you is bullshit or that's a big fairy tale, you just shut down the debate. 0.99

03:11:11.000 You just broke that bridge. 0.99

03:11:12.000 You're never going to see anything.

03:11:14.000 You're not going to see that person for who they are.

03:11:15.000 You're never going to understand what they're experiencing or what they believe and what they have faith in is not real.

03:11:22.000 They still can get a tangible benefit from it.

03:11:25.000 Exactly.

03:11:25.000 And it can improve their life.

03:11:26.000 And so it is real in a way, isn't it?

03:11:28.000 Well, it is something that they believe in to the point where it benefits them.

03:11:31.000 And it can create beautiful things.

03:11:33.000 Great pieces of work, art, whatever it might be.

03:11:36.000 Well, that's my argument about Ben Carson.

03:11:37.000 Like, Ben Carson might be a wacky dude who doesn't believe in evolution.

03:11:41.000 He's got some crazy ideas, but I like him as much as any of the other people that are running for president.

03:11:46.000 Smart dude.

03:11:47.000 He's not just smart dude.

03:11:48.000 One of the best neurosurgeons ever, okay?

03:11:50.000 Not only that, he's...

03:11:52.000 Really measured and relaxed and calm, always, constantly.

03:11:56.000 He never gets too high or too emotional.

03:11:58.000 Trump is yelling at someone the other day, go home and get a job!

03:12:03.000 This is going to be our president!

03:12:05.000 Go home and get a job! 1.00

03:12:07.000 And all the fucking white dudes with golf shirts on. 1.00

03:12:10.000 Yes! 1.00

03:12:11.000 But where are his ideas?

03:12:13.000 Where are his ideas?

03:12:15.000 I keep looking for his ideas.

03:12:16.000 I'm hoping that once he becomes president, because he's going to become president, then he lets it go.

03:12:20.000 Because what Ben Carson has said about Trump that I thought was really fascinating, he says, he's remarkably reasonable when he's not on camera.

03:12:27.000 And Jeff Ross told me that, too.

03:12:29.000 Because Ben's endorsing him now. 0.85

03:12:30.000 I don't think he's a dumb guy, and I think a lot of this might be an act. 0.85

03:12:34.000 It's an act and it's working.

03:12:35.000 I think you may see, if he becomes president, two things.

03:12:39.000 One is, he's not an idealist.

03:12:42.000 We go to war.

03:12:43.000 World War IV. He's not an ideologue, so he's going to do this.

03:12:45.000 I think he will approach everything as a problem to be solved, which is not a bad thing.

03:12:49.000 Secondly, don't be surprised if he surrounds himself with very competent, smart people who know more than he does.

03:12:55.000 Those are the two silver linings I can see Trump...

03:12:59.000 Coming to the table with.

03:13:02.000 I don't like the guy.

03:13:03.000 He breaks the system, because the system of special interest groups and the need for the campaign financing, when you get a guy like him, you really can't buy him.

03:13:13.000 He doesn't benefit.

03:13:14.000 The problem with campaign finance reform is that with Citizens United, that Supreme Court decision, giving money Two, a political campaign is an exercise of free speech, and it was considered constitutional.

03:13:30.000 So it's very difficult to get big money out.

03:13:34.000 But what I do think will happen, and you're seeing it already with people like Bernie Sanders and even Donald Trump, is that we as citizens will go, man, you have big, deep pockets, deep political pockets, and so you must be a little corrupt at least.

03:13:49.000 I ain't voting for you.

03:13:50.000 Well, there's transparency, too.

03:13:52.000 There's things like CrowdPak, where you can go and find exactly who's financing people.

03:13:57.000 CrowdPak, which my friend Steve Hilton runs, you go and check out.

03:14:00.000 I mean, their website has all of the various campaign funds, all the people that are influencing people, all the special interest groups.

03:14:07.000 Love it.

03:14:07.000 Tight move.

03:14:08.000 We've got to get the fuck out of here. 0.91

03:14:09.000 It's already 540. What? 0.51

03:14:10.000 Come see us in Denver!

03:14:12.000 We flew through three hours.

03:14:14.000 I love it.

03:14:15.000 This was a good one.

03:14:15.000 Comedy store tonight.

03:14:17.000 I'd just like to point out that both you bitches peed twice. 1.00

03:14:19.000 I never got up once. 1.00

03:14:20.000 You're like a cannibal. 1.00

03:14:22.000 Strong bladder. 1.00

03:14:24.000 I have trained it from doing this show.

03:14:25.000 I drank four cups of coffee sitting here.

03:14:27.000 And a bottle of kombucha. 0.99

03:14:28.000 You're gangster. 0.98

03:14:28.000 I'm not bragging. 0.98

03:14:30.000 Probably I can hold up a lot of piss.

03:14:31.000 Comedy Works, March 18th, March 19th.

03:14:33.000 It's my B-Day.

03:14:34.000 Actually, I am bragging about my ability to hold in piss.

03:14:36.000 It's impressive, though.

03:14:37.000 It's like a baby camel.

03:14:39.000 Rogan and I will be here.

03:14:40.000 We'll be at the Comedy Store tonight.

03:14:41.000 Tonight.

03:14:42.000 With Theo Vaughn, Brent Ernst, and it's for a good cause, right?

03:14:44.000 Yeah, spinal cord.

03:14:45.000 Spinal cord injury.

03:14:46.000 Yeah, spinal cord injury, so come by.

03:14:48.000 How much of the money goes towards it?

03:14:49.000 All of it.

03:14:50.000 Literally all of it.

03:14:50.000 Okay, all of it.

03:14:51.000 Beautiful.

03:14:51.000 But mine, I get mine.

03:14:53.000 You get all your money, buddy.

03:14:54.000 Yeah, dude.

03:14:55.000 All your money.

03:14:56.000 No, just kidding.

03:14:57.000 I love you, Joe Rogan.

03:14:57.000 Do it for charity.

03:14:58.000 So that's tonight at 8 o'clock, right?

03:15:00.000 And Theo Vaughn, very hilarious guy.

03:15:02.000 Comedy store.

03:15:02.000 Main room.

03:15:03.000 Brent Ernst, hilarious guy.

03:15:04.000 Brian Cowan, hilarious.

03:15:05.000 And I can do my best.

03:15:06.000 Alright, so that's tonight.

03:15:08.000 Yeah!

03:15:09.000 And that's it.

03:15:10.000 Alright, we'll be back tomorrow with Greg Fitzsimmons and also Thursday night I'll be at the Improv for Greg Fitzsimmons St. Patrick's Day extravaganza.

03:15:17.000 We'll be talking about that tomorrow too.

03:15:19.000 Alright, thank you everybody.

03:15:20.000 Love you guys.

03:15:21.000 Bye-bye.

03:15:23.000 And 20 million downloads.

The Joe Rogan Experience - March 15, 2016

Joe Rogan Experience #774 - Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript