The Joe Rogan Experience - April 13, 2016


Joe Rogan Experience #784 - Brian Redban


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 48 minutes

Words per minute

190.11484

Word count

20,694

Sentence count

2,215

Harmful content

Misogyny

99

sentences flagged

Hate speech

80

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about how to deal with people telling you what to do in a relationship and how to get out of a situation where one person is telling you how to do something and the other person is just telling you not to do it. We also talk about when someone tells you what they want you to do and what you should do, and how you should react to it. We hope you enjoy this episode and that it makes you think about how much control you have over your relationships and how important it is to have someone in your life who gives you the authority to do what you need to do to be the best person you can be. We hope that you enjoy it and that you can relate to what we talked about in this episode. We love y'all and we'll see you in the next one! Timestamps: 1:00:00 - What do you tell your significant other about you? 4:30 - How do you deal with your ex? 6:20 - How much control do you have in your relationship? 7:00- How does your ex tell you what you can do? 8:15 - How should you handle a situation like that? 9:00 11:40 - How can you handle someone else's opinion of you in your relationships? 12:30- How do I deal with a partner? 13:20 14:30 15: What do I do with a woman who tells me what I should do with my love life? 16: How should I treat a woman? 17:10 - How old people? 18: How old do I treat my exes? 19:10 21:40 22:00 | How old is my ex's perspective on me? 25:30 | How I can I handle a woman I like it? 26:40 | Should I be a better person? 27:10 | How much money should I pay my ex?' 28: How much do I get? 29:00 + 30:00 Do you have a better perspective on a relationship with someone else? 35:00 Is there a difference between a woman that s older than I'm a better guy? ? 32: How can I be more than I know a girl that s a better woman than I like a girl? 31:10 + 32:00 // 33:00

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:08.000 Yes!
00:00:09.000 Before we even get started, I gotta give a shout out to this dude, Aaron.
00:00:12.000 Where is it?
00:00:12.000 Where's the, uh, not that, but he gave us that, but the other thing, the white snake.
00:00:16.000 Oh, yeah.
00:00:17.000 Here it is.
00:00:18.000 I told a story a long time ago about a car accident I got into when I had an older girlfriend who used to tell me what to do.
00:00:25.000 She's pretty hot though. 1.00
00:00:26.000 Stephanie, how are you?
00:00:28.000 And she made me throw away this Whitesnake cassette after the car accident.
00:00:34.000 I had a little box of cassettes in my car and she said, throw that out.
00:00:38.000 And I fucking listened to her.
00:00:40.000 What?
00:00:41.000 So if you're in that situation right now where you're in a relationship and the person you're with tells you what to do, and you go, fuck, man, I'm that bitch. 0.85
00:00:49.000 Well, I was that bitch once, too. 0.98
00:00:50.000 And I was bummed out, man, that I fucking threw out this Whitesnake CD. Well, it was a cassette.
00:00:56.000 Cassette, rather.
00:00:57.000 I didn't even have a CD player then.
00:00:59.000 When did CDs come out officially?
00:01:02.000 90, 80...
00:01:04.000 I feel like we've done this before.
00:01:06.000 We've tried to figure this out before.
00:01:07.000 We just don't...
00:01:07.000 It's just not worthy enough.
00:01:09.000 Somewhere in the 80s, right?
00:01:10.000 Yeah, early or late 80s, I would say.
00:01:12.000 Because I got my first one in...
00:01:14.000 I remember for my birthday when I was like 16 or something like that.
00:01:17.000 17. So this had to be 88, because I know that after I broke up with her, I started fighting again.
00:01:25.000 I took like a break, we broke up, and then I had three more fights after I dated her.
00:01:32.000 Like kickboxing fights.
00:01:34.000 So I remember the year.
00:01:37.000 So it had to be 88, which was a lot.
00:01:38.000 88 or 89. But fucking, I love this cassette.
00:01:43.000 Yeah.
00:01:44.000 So that was like a real moment of, for me, you know, there's moments when you have in relationships where you go, fuck, I can't be this guy.
00:01:52.000 I can't just let someone tell me what to do and someone trying to change me.
00:01:57.000 Like, she was a very smart girl and she was older than me.
00:02:01.000 Like, she was 25 and I was 21. And I remember, you know, she was just smarter than me.
00:02:07.000 Certainly at the time, more worldly than me.
00:02:10.000 And, uh, I just fucking listened to her.
00:02:13.000 It's not good, man.
00:02:14.000 Don't you hate when you see your friends in those situations, though?
00:02:17.000 Like, you see the friends that always fight every week, and they're always breaking up, and they're, it's...
00:02:22.000 Yeah, it's awful.
00:02:23.000 In her defense, I was a fucking idiot.
00:02:27.000 In her defense.
00:02:28.000 So, she was trying to shape me up.
00:02:30.000 You know, it was interesting, like, you know when I knew, I couldn't hang out with her anymore.
00:02:35.000 There was an incident at a comedy club that I've told before.
00:02:39.000 I don't want to repeat it again because the person that I talked about, I talked about it in the Jamie Kilstein podcast.
00:02:44.000 The person I was talking about is completely delusional in their perception of these events.
00:02:49.000 I don't want to even rehash who the original person was that I got in this dispute with.
00:02:53.000 But I wound up walking off the stage because I was disgusted by how this professional comedian was censoring people at an open mic night.
00:03:04.000 Stephanie, who's, by the way, awesome. 0.86
00:03:07.000 Never anything but awesome.
00:03:08.000 She's a very cool person.
00:03:09.000 So I never hated her or anything.
00:03:12.000 But she, you know, she pulled me aside and she like, kind of like lectured me.
00:03:17.000 She's like, look, if you want to do this, if you want to do this, then you have to really do it.
00:03:21.000 You can't walk off stage like that.
00:03:23.000 That's completely unprofessional.
00:03:24.000 And I'm like, I'm not a professional.
00:03:27.000 I'm like, I'm an amateur.
00:03:28.000 Like, yeah, it's unprofessional.
00:03:29.000 I'm trying to learn how to do it.
00:03:30.000 And then I realized like, that's not how you talk to people that are in your life.
00:03:36.000 That if you don't like what they're doing, there's got to be a better way of approaching it than that.
00:03:41.000 Her way of approaching it was from like a mother perspective, like an authoritative perspective.
00:03:48.000 You know, it was weird.
00:03:49.000 It was a weird relationship in that respect.
00:03:51.000 And when you see those relationships, the problem is, I don't want to generalize, but oftentimes in relationships, the dynamic that the relationship begins with is the dynamic the relationship sticks with.
00:04:04.000 And if you get stuck in a relationship where one person is telling you what to do, it very rarely goes back the other way.
00:04:11.000 And then you tell them what to do and then they listen.
00:04:13.000 It never does.
00:04:14.000 It's like you develop like a chief And the rest of the Indians, you know, there's a captain, and then there's the sailors. 0.99
00:04:22.000 And it's just the way it is, man.
00:04:23.000 I don't know why, but with her, like, early on, she assumed the role of the one who was, like, dictating what was okay and not okay, what kind of music I should like, how I should dress.
00:04:36.000 It's real weird, man.
00:04:37.000 But again, she wasn't a bad person.
00:04:39.000 She was a 25-year-old girl dating a 21-year-old guy who was crazy.
00:04:45.000 And, you know, when girls are 25, they're like, okay, what am I doing? 0.98
00:04:47.000 Am I going to marry this guy?
00:04:48.000 Am I going to have kids with this fucking idiot?
00:04:50.000 Like, I got to shape him up.
00:04:51.000 I got to get him to stop listening to Whitesnake.
00:04:54.000 I mean, I think I do that almost every relationship, though.
00:04:57.000 Like, oh, yeah, she, you know, she does this. 0.63
00:05:00.000 And coincidentally, you often date, always date girls younger than you.
00:05:03.000 Yeah, yeah, definitely.
00:05:05.000 Always and never fixable.
00:05:07.000 Like, as hard as I try, not that fixable.
00:05:11.000 21 to 25 doesn't seem that old, like for a guy to a girl.
00:05:18.000 Again, I don't like to generalize, but I definitely think that girls mature quicker than guys.
00:05:23.000 100%.
00:05:23.000 Oh, yeah.
00:05:24.000 I think that's common knowledge, right?
00:05:26.000 Well, I've been trying to figure out why.
00:05:28.000 I've been trying to figure out what it is.
00:05:30.000 Periods, man.
00:05:31.000 No, I think it's ego.
00:05:32.000 I think it's ego.
00:05:33.000 I think men have spent so much time...
00:05:37.000 Coddling the male ego, worrying about this fucking guy, I'll fucking kick this guy's ass, you know, I'll fuck that guy up.
00:05:43.000 Like, posturing and presenting themselves, like, especially when they're really young, as something better than they actually are.
00:05:50.000 It's like a big part of being a young man.
00:05:53.000 Until you realize, somewhere around your 30s, I guess, that nobody buys that.
00:06:00.000 Like, nobody buys that.
00:06:01.000 When you're posturing and you're pretending to be someone other than you are, you're giving yourself some sort of weird comfort or trying to, but it's like sucking your thumb.
00:06:10.000 It's not really effective.
00:06:11.000 It's not really doing anything.
00:06:13.000 Women don't have that. 1.00
00:06:14.000 They don't have the I'll kick your ass.
00:06:16.000 They don't have this guy.
00:06:18.000 What does this guy think he's going to fuck my wife? 1.00
00:06:20.000 What does this guy think he's going to take my job?
00:06:22.000 What does this guy think he's going to fucking move in next to me and put up a fucking fence in front of my fuck? 0.99
00:06:26.000 That's my fucking...
00:06:27.000 Men get this weird thing, man.
00:06:32.000 Male thing. 0.95
00:06:33.000 And women don't get that thing. 1.00
00:06:35.000 They get different.
00:06:36.000 They get bitch things. 1.00
00:06:37.000 They get their own thing.
00:06:39.000 They bitch at each other. 1.00
00:06:41.000 But it's not nearly as physical for the most part.
00:06:46.000 It's much more likely that two men are going to throw bones.
00:06:54.000 We're good to go.
00:07:06.000 But if you get two girls involved in a street fight, at least one of them's out of their fucking mind. 1.00
00:07:12.000 Those are the best.
00:07:13.000 Like two sane dudes under the right conditions with alcohol involved could beat the shit out of each other.
00:07:20.000 It's very possible.
00:07:21.000 Very possible, especially with alcohol involved.
00:07:24.000 But two girls pulling hair and... 1.00
00:07:26.000 I would venture the vast majority of women out there have never been in a fistfight. 0.95
00:07:34.000 The vast majority.
00:07:36.000 80%.
00:07:36.000 Yeah, I think that's a good number.
00:07:38.000 I think 80% is a good number.
00:07:40.000 Probably not, right?
00:07:42.000 I think they have different things going on.
00:07:49.000 Even if they want to be respected...
00:07:52.000 They want to be appreciated.
00:07:53.000 It's not the same as like the male thing.
00:07:55.000 The male wanting to be respected, especially young men.
00:07:59.000 It's very difficult to get over just the natural monkey instincts that boys have.
00:08:07.000 Just those natural monkey instincts.
00:08:08.000 They're so goddamn distracting that I think it's maybe this is just the theory not even biologically why women mature In general, faster than men. 0.98
00:08:18.000 It might just be the lack of the struggle with that male ego.
00:08:24.000 Yeah.
00:08:24.000 Brian?
00:08:25.000 Any thoughts on the matter?
00:08:27.000 Yeah.
00:08:29.000 Do you ever have male instincts to bite a girl's neck when you're having sex with her?
00:08:34.000 It seems like you'd be somebody that would be like a neck biter. 1.00
00:08:37.000 You'd be really into it.
00:08:38.000 I do not want you beaten off thinking about how I fuck.
00:08:41.000 So I will stop this conversation right here.
00:08:46.000 You know what?
00:08:47.000 It's different with different girls, right? 0.87
00:08:49.000 Isn't it?
00:08:49.000 With different girls you've dated?
00:08:51.000 Some girls like to get choked. 1.00
00:08:53.000 They just do.
00:08:54.000 I hate all that.
00:08:55.000 When a girl tells me to slap them or choke them, that's the worst. 1.00
00:08:57.000 Sorry.
00:08:58.000 I can't do it.
00:08:58.000 I'm not going to beat you up.
00:09:00.000 You're going to have to get that from somebody else.
00:09:01.000 Yeah.
00:09:02.000 You're gonna have to call Ari.
00:09:04.000 Do you think the daddy thing, there's something there when girls are like, fuck me harder, daddy, when it's the whole daddy thing, do you think there's something to it? 1.00
00:09:10.000 It's a dirty thing.
00:09:11.000 Yeah, it's dirty.
00:09:12.000 They don't mean their dad.
00:09:14.000 They mean they want you to be their daddy in that moment.
00:09:18.000 Not even like a father, but like the daddy that's giving the dick.
00:09:22.000 You know, they don't even think it's like a different word.
00:09:25.000 It's a different use of the word daddy.
00:09:28.000 You know, it doesn't mean the same thing.
00:09:30.000 It's like when you call someone captain.
00:09:31.000 What's up, captain?
00:09:32.000 Right.
00:09:32.000 You don't really think that guy has a boat.
00:09:34.000 But what if they're...
00:09:35.000 You follow me?
00:09:35.000 Yeah, I totally know.
00:09:36.000 But this one girl says it as a kid, though, and she doesn't talk like a kid in any other times except when she's having sex.
00:09:43.000 And she's like, oh, daddy.
00:09:44.000 She regresses into like... 1.00
00:09:47.000 That's intolerable.
00:09:48.000 Yeah.
00:09:48.000 Well, if she's dating you, yeah, I would assume some dark shit happened.
00:09:53.000 Yeah, but see, I go deeper in it.
00:09:55.000 I was like, yeah, you like daddy's dick, don't you?
00:09:57.000 Are you late for school?
00:09:58.000 You know, things like that.
00:10:00.000 Do you do that while you're fucking her? 1.00
00:10:01.000 Yeah, just to see- Are you late for school?
00:10:04.000 I mean like I'm going to try to go down that path if she brings it up I'll see if she plays along if she plays along it's like fun It's like trying to learn more about this person that I'm fucking You know it's even more disturbing saying are you late for school because that means morning sex like the dad doesn't even have the excuse of being drunk The guy just waves out past his coffee and fucks his daughter.
00:10:26.000 That is...
00:10:27.000 God.
00:10:27.000 Yeah.
00:10:28.000 Did you do your homework?
00:10:30.000 Yeah, you need to find better people.
00:10:31.000 But, you know, you gotta work on yourself.
00:10:33.000 Right.
00:10:34.000 I know.
00:10:35.000 Get your own shit in order and you'll attract people.
00:10:37.000 I don't make a noise.
00:10:38.000 I just don't...
00:10:39.000 Just breathe?
00:10:41.000 I slobber in their hair and I don't do anything.
00:10:45.000 Do you still take those pills?
00:10:47.000 You know, I stopped when I started stripping.
00:10:49.000 We should explain.
00:10:50.000 Boner pills.
00:10:50.000 The gas station boner pills.
00:10:52.000 Gas station boner pills specifically.
00:10:54.000 Brian has some gas stations picked out in the valley that he travels to that have Chinese drugs in them that make your dick a totem pole. 1.00
00:11:02.000 Yeah, and they're very sketchy.
00:11:05.000 You can go to FDA.gov and see all the ingredients and all the ones they've tested.
00:11:09.000 But I stopped doing it when I started tripping.
00:11:12.000 I actually saw visuals.
00:11:13.000 I think I've talked about it on this.
00:11:15.000 But recently, they've had new packaging where they're like holograms and they're awesome packaging.
00:11:20.000 Like it's a horse running or like Black Stallion is a good one.
00:11:25.000 Here's a question.
00:11:26.000 How much do you think it would cost us to randomly test the gas station pills that you take and then read the results on the air?
00:11:35.000 Do you have some right now that you've saved?
00:11:37.000 Just packaging in my car.
00:11:39.000 I have about 30 different ones in my car.
00:11:41.000 But you have the packages?
00:11:42.000 Yeah.
00:11:42.000 Okay.
00:11:43.000 Set aside one package of each one that you really enjoy.
00:11:47.000 Black Stallion.
00:11:48.000 Yeah.
00:11:49.000 Right now.
00:11:49.000 I want to set these aside and I want to see how much it costs.
00:11:52.000 I'll go through the UFC labs, whatever they use.
00:11:56.000 I think they use...
00:11:56.000 The Nevada State Athletic Commission I think uses Quest Diagnostics, but they test blood.
00:12:01.000 They test blood and urine.
00:12:04.000 We can't do that, but we'll find out a place where we could send it to a lab to get the contents analyzed.
00:12:09.000 That's what the FDA has done, though.
00:12:10.000 Well, Onnit's done it, so I'll just use whatever guys Onnit's done.
00:12:14.000 But FDA has done it for these ones that you're taking.
00:12:16.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:16.000 But do you think they're consistent?
00:12:18.000 Like, they're not the same every week.
00:12:19.000 No, they change...
00:12:20.000 You can tell they change their ingredients sometimes.
00:12:22.000 Like, I had one burst open my mouth the other day, and it tasted like tea.
00:12:25.000 But I've had it before where it burst open my mouth, and it tasted like pills.
00:12:30.000 You know, like inside of a pill.
00:12:31.000 Like a chemical?
00:12:32.000 Yeah, so the...
00:12:33.000 They're all powder inside?
00:12:35.000 Some of them are powder.
00:12:36.000 The one that I had the other day was like a tea, almost like weed inside.
00:12:40.000 But are any of them gels?
00:12:42.000 No, they all seem to be like a powder inside.
00:12:45.000 But these new ones, the latest one, Black Stallion, where it has a hologram of a horse running, that one, legit, four days of boner solid.
00:12:54.000 And I was really studying it the other day, because it's just like every single pocket of...
00:13:02.000 Shit on your dick is just full.
00:13:03.000 It's swollen.
00:13:05.000 It's hard though.
00:13:06.000 It feels uncomfortable.
00:13:07.000 It doesn't feel like your normal dick where it's like, oh, this is comfortable.
00:13:10.000 It's probably just a super high dose of Viagra.
00:13:12.000 I don't think it's Viagra anymore.
00:13:13.000 I think it used to be.
00:13:15.000 I don't think this is Viagra.
00:13:16.000 I think this is some kind of reaction because it's like my dick is swollen up.
00:13:20.000 Like, it got bit by a snake.
00:13:24.000 It's powerful though, man.
00:13:26.000 And girls can tell immediately, like, holy shit, you're killing me here.
00:13:30.000 So, but when you're taking this stuff, does it go down?
00:13:34.000 Or do you have to deal with a hard dick for hours afterwards?
00:13:37.000 No, it's just on-call.
00:13:39.000 It's ready to rock.
00:13:40.000 Yeah, but when you wake up in the morning...
00:13:42.000 On-call is a great way to put it.
00:13:44.000 But when you wake up in the morning, a lot of times it's like pee plus that.
00:13:49.000 If you fuck a girl in the morning with a pee-boner mixed with that at the same time, she's dead. 0.99
00:13:54.000 Oh, poor girl. 1.00
00:13:56.000 Yeah.
00:13:56.000 Poor lady.
00:13:59.000 Why am I talking about this?
00:14:00.000 Because it's hilarious, man.
00:14:02.000 You know what?
00:14:02.000 It's so weird that I do it, though.
00:14:03.000 And it's only like if I'm with a new girl, I'll be like, you know what?
00:14:06.000 I'm going to really impress her tonight with this thick snake venom dick. 0.99
00:14:12.000 And roses?
00:14:13.000 No, just that.
00:14:14.000 Yeah, you don't want to set too high a standard.
00:14:17.000 What's embarrassing, though, is I collect them, and it looks like a crazy person if you go in my car right now.
00:14:23.000 And if I pulled out all the ones I had in my car, it looks like I'm crazy.
00:14:25.000 Isn't it funny that crazy people will say, if you didn't know me, you think I'm crazy?
00:14:29.000 Isn't that funny?
00:14:30.000 That's a funny thing people do.
00:14:34.000 You would think I was crazy if you paid attention to everything I do and everything I said.
00:14:38.000 Ha ha ha ha ha!
00:14:40.000 But if we could test them within a reasonable financial range, we should totally, if it costs a couple grand or something.
00:14:46.000 FDA, though, really has gone through a lot of it.
00:14:48.000 Most of it, though, has been steroids.
00:14:50.000 Like, a lot of them have had small amounts of steroids in it.
00:14:53.000 Well, I was wondering when you were saying that you hallucinated if it was bath salts.
00:14:57.000 Dude, I had to do a set.
00:14:59.000 I was in Tempe Improv, or no, Stand Up Live in Arizona.
00:15:05.000 I took some before then, and I was with Tony Hinchcliffe, and I was telling Tony, I was like, man, I don't know if I can go on stage.
00:15:11.000 I am seeing trails right now.
00:15:13.000 I had to go on stage tripping, and I talked about it on stage.
00:15:17.000 I'm sorry if I'm crazy right now.
00:15:18.000 You guys are all swirls and stuff like that.
00:15:21.000 But that's how bad it was.
00:15:22.000 I couldn't see shit.
00:15:23.000 So that's when I kind of stopped my...
00:15:26.000 Fun hobby.
00:15:27.000 Damn, dude.
00:15:28.000 That's so dangerous.
00:15:29.000 You're just rolling the dice that these people in this gas station laboratory are not going to kill you.
00:15:35.000 Yeah.
00:15:36.000 And what's crazy, a couple of them are like, I tried to find more information about the companies that make it.
00:15:41.000 Oh, good luck.
00:15:41.000 They don't exist.
00:15:43.000 Shadow governments in the Philippines.
00:15:44.000 Yeah.
00:15:45.000 Well, this is my question.
00:15:46.000 Like, they have an ingredients, like it say, like you look at the package, it says what's in there.
00:15:52.000 No.
00:15:53.000 Well, it does.
00:15:54.000 It does, but you can tell it's not what it is.
00:15:56.000 What does it say on the package?
00:15:58.000 Should I run to my car real quick and get a couple?
00:15:59.000 Fuck yeah.
00:16:00.000 Go get one.
00:16:01.000 We're gonna talk shit about you while you're gone.
00:16:06.000 He's so ridiculous.
00:16:07.000 Do you know anybody else that takes those things?
00:16:09.000 No.
00:16:10.000 I've taken something, not like boner pill, but I remember taking a bumblebee or black, something like that.
00:16:16.000 It's like a caffeine pill.
00:16:18.000 Oh, okay.
00:16:18.000 Before I go on stage, me and my friends, we would take them, like, jack ourselves up before a concert.
00:16:22.000 We feel like we're going to have a heart attack.
00:16:23.000 Yeah, like, um, it was probably like rip fuel, like that kind of stuff, a FEDRA or something like that.
00:16:28.000 But it was bad for us too, we knew.
00:16:29.000 Those were horrible for you, but, see, those things at least other people were taking them.
00:16:34.000 Who the fuck do you know that's taking, he's a pioneer in gas station boner pills.
00:16:38.000 I mean, the dudes out there like David Crockett.
00:16:41.000 He's setting a standard and he is, uh...
00:16:45.000 It's just such a ridiculous thing to want to put in your body when the alternative exists.
00:16:51.000 Like, you could go to an actual doctor and say, I have a hard time getting an erection.
00:16:55.000 He'll prescribe you Viagra.
00:16:56.000 We all know that doesn't kill you.
00:16:58.000 Maybe this is the weed of boner pills.
00:17:00.000 It's easy to get.
00:17:01.000 You can get it anywhere.
00:17:02.000 That's true.
00:17:03.000 It definitely is that.
00:17:04.000 You don't have to go to a doctor.
00:17:05.000 Yeah, that's what I mean by that.
00:17:06.000 Well, you used to not have to go to doctors for stuff.
00:17:08.000 You used to be able to get things through Canadian pharmacies.
00:17:12.000 Canadian pharmacies would just send you drugs.
00:17:14.000 It was like the big loophole.
00:17:15.000 Yeah, how do people get, you can get like that NuVigil stuff.
00:17:17.000 You can get free samples online or something I've seen.
00:17:19.000 I don't know how you get it.
00:17:20.000 Well, yeah, I don't know.
00:17:22.000 NuVigil's a little different.
00:17:24.000 Maybe one version of it.
00:17:25.000 Pro Vigil or New Vigil.
00:17:26.000 I know for sure I've read guys posting on message boards saying that they bought that stuff somewhere online.
00:17:34.000 I think it was The Underground.
00:17:35.000 Yeah, you can buy it from those like weird Indian... 1.00
00:17:37.000 So that's one of the new ones.
00:17:39.000 So this is Rhino 2. This is the one with the hologram.
00:17:41.000 You're not going to be able to probably pick that up.
00:17:42.000 It's Rhino 11 because it's supposed to be 11 days at last.
00:17:45.000 11 boners?
00:17:46.000 Is that real?
00:17:47.000 Yeah.
00:17:47.000 No, it's not.
00:17:48.000 And it comes in this.
00:17:49.000 Look at this capsule it comes in.
00:17:50.000 This is just for the pill.
00:17:51.000 It's like this weird matrix capsule.
00:17:54.000 Oh, dude, how bad are these?
00:17:56.000 Meanwhile, look at this.
00:17:57.000 It says, this is hilarious.
00:17:59.000 It says, platinum 6000. Like as if there's some, like, measuring going on.
00:18:06.000 Yeah.
00:18:07.000 Was there a Platinum 4000?
00:18:09.000 I want a Platinum 2000. Yeah, come on.
00:18:12.000 Why are you pretending you have any idea?
00:18:13.000 These people making these just throwing some shit in a bowl and mixing it up while they're drunk.
00:18:18.000 They don't know what the fuck's in there.
00:18:21.000 Platinum 6000. Fuck you.
00:18:23.000 These are two companies, too, but that both use rhinos.
00:18:27.000 Well, why not?
00:18:28.000 Why wouldn't you use rhino?
00:18:30.000 One is Dr. Rhino and one is Rhino 11. Well, rhino is what those Asian people believe that rhino horns give you erections. 0.97
00:18:39.000 That's why they've killed so many rhinos. 0.85
00:18:41.000 The reason why rhino horns are worth so much...
00:18:43.000 Have you ever seen a rhino horn?
00:18:45.000 It doesn't even make any sense.
00:18:46.000 They're just gross.
00:18:47.000 It's like hair.
00:18:48.000 It's a giant, hard, like, piece of fingernail or hair.
00:18:53.000 Whereas, like, if you look at elephant tusks, you go, wow, I kind of get it.
00:18:56.000 That's beautiful.
00:18:57.000 Those are amazing.
00:18:58.000 Rhino horns don't look cool.
00:19:00.000 They're gross looking.
00:19:01.000 Yeah, look at that.
00:19:02.000 And so they take those things and they make some Chinese medicine that doesn't even work. 0.97
00:19:07.000 It doesn't even work.
00:19:09.000 I mean, that doesn't make your dick hard.
00:19:12.000 We have Viagra, and they're still killing rhinos. 1.00
00:19:15.000 So this actually has ingredients on it, like Chinese daughter seed, asparagus.
00:19:19.000 There's asparagus in here.
00:19:21.000 Asparagus?
00:19:22.000 Why would they put asparagus in here?
00:19:23.000 Because they want your pee to smell different, so that you really feel like something's happening.
00:19:27.000 That's true.
00:19:28.000 Or they just put asparagus to make you go, oh, it's healthy.
00:19:30.000 It's got asparagus.
00:19:32.000 That's probably true.
00:19:32.000 And then it has none of that in there.
00:19:33.000 Maybe both arguments were brought up at the meeting while they were cooking up fucking bathtub meth.
00:19:39.000 Yeah.
00:19:40.000 For Rhino 12, let's add some kale.
00:19:42.000 The problem is, man, I don't want any fucking gangsters coming at us and trying to kill us because we out what their products are.
00:19:49.000 You know?
00:19:50.000 Because these products are not being made by above board folks, most likely.
00:19:55.000 No, and they constantly are changing their names.
00:19:58.000 Like, if you go through my collection of these, I don't know why I keep these, but they're all different names.
00:20:03.000 There's not one that's like...
00:20:04.000 Well, they have to.
00:20:05.000 Aubrey was telling us what happens.
00:20:07.000 This is what Aubrey says.
00:20:08.000 I'm probably butchering it.
00:20:09.000 But Aubrey said that these people make this stuff, they put in Viagra, which they buy from some Chinese manufacturer.
00:20:17.000 They take that stuff.
00:20:18.000 What is it?
00:20:20.000 Modafinil?
00:20:20.000 Is that what it's called?
00:20:22.000 Yeah.
00:20:22.000 Okay, so they buy that stuff in bulk, and then they sell it for much more than it would be if they sold it.
00:20:29.000 And, like, if you sell a prescription for, like, 100 pills, it would be X amount of dollars.
00:20:32.000 But if you can stuff it into two gas station bullshit pills and sell each one for 10 bucks, like, how much does a Rhino 2 cost?
00:20:39.000 Well, these new ones with the holograms are, like, $14.
00:20:42.000 But they don't last 11 days, but they definitely last a week.
00:20:46.000 But if that was...
00:20:47.000 There's only two pills.
00:20:48.000 If that was a bottle of Viagra...
00:20:51.000 I mean, $14.
00:20:53.000 It wouldn't be two pills for $14.
00:20:55.000 They'd probably make like 100% more.
00:20:57.000 And Viagra is bitch compared to this. 1.00
00:21:00.000 This will beat the shit out of Viagra. 0.96
00:21:04.000 Viagra is cool, but it lasts a couple hours.
00:21:06.000 It just makes you have a boner, kind of.
00:21:08.000 But this is like, no, you got bit by a snake boner for a while.
00:21:12.000 Yeah, I would like to try it, but it's not worth it.
00:21:15.000 I'm going to get you one of the best ones.
00:21:17.000 I'm not going to do it.
00:21:18.000 I found a review of someone that took Rhino 7. Oh, this one right here?
00:21:22.000 And he has a breakdown of all the different ingredients and whatnot of it.
00:21:26.000 Oh, put that shit up. 0.99
00:21:28.000 The main ingredient is called Sly Sildenafil, which is the active ingredient in Viagra.
00:21:35.000 Oh, okay.
00:21:36.000 Sildenafil.
00:21:37.000 That stuff.
00:21:38.000 Look what it says right there.
00:21:39.000 Okay, yeah.
00:21:39.000 Why did I think it was modafinil?
00:21:41.000 Isn't modafinil nuvigil?
00:21:43.000 Yeah.
00:21:43.000 Okay, that's it.
00:21:44.000 If you go up a little, it says serious side effects like headache, nausea, and blurred vision.
00:21:49.000 I had that blurred vision part.
00:21:50.000 That's what made me stop.
00:21:52.000 These side effects that generally appear when using prescription ED medication.
00:21:57.000 It's funny, too, because yet the label specifically makes...
00:22:00.000 The claim, no headache.
00:22:01.000 That's one of the primary complaints about the supplement.
00:22:04.000 All the stuff that was in it.
00:22:07.000 Licorice.
00:22:07.000 That's what it says was in it.
00:22:10.000 Yeah.
00:22:10.000 What about what he found was in it?
00:22:12.000 Okay, well, let me just read what it says.
00:22:14.000 Goji extract, Deng Sen extract, cinnamon bark, blah, blah, blah, licorice.
00:22:20.000 Bunch of bullshit.
00:22:21.000 Ginseng.
00:22:22.000 Okay, so what's actually in it?
00:22:25.000 That's really it.
00:22:25.000 I mean, I don't know.
00:22:26.000 He didn't test it himself.
00:22:27.000 He just looked those up and then did research on all those things and then told you how it worked for him.
00:22:32.000 Oh, so did he say it worked?
00:22:35.000 He said it worked.
00:22:37.000 He said it's fast acting.
00:22:38.000 You don't have to remember to take it every day.
00:22:40.000 Okay.
00:22:41.000 Well, there are things that, okay, one thing I can say is I was ROCK HARD, he says in all caps, for like three days on this stuff, which is almost kind of annoying.
00:22:50.000 Ah, it depends.
00:22:51.000 Imagine having a hard-on when you have to do day-to-day tasks, tucking your boner into your pants and hoping it doesn't just pop out unexpectedly.
00:22:58.000 Yeah.
00:22:58.000 Wow.
00:22:59.000 So these things really are.
00:23:01.000 But see, I thought you were going to send me something where the guy actually tested it to find out what the ingredients are.
00:23:06.000 That's what I'm interested in.
00:23:08.000 If you go to FDA.gov, you could probably look up a couple of these different ones.
00:23:11.000 I don't trust the government.
00:23:13.000 They're lying to us about chemtrails.
00:23:15.000 They're fucking lying to us about dick pills.
00:23:17.000 It definitely makes you a lot hornier.
00:23:19.000 It makes you horny.
00:23:20.000 I seek out massages.
00:23:22.000 I seek out...
00:23:24.000 Like, I literally, like, am 100% more hornier when I'm on these, though.
00:23:29.000 Like, almost bad.
00:23:30.000 Almost bad.
00:23:30.000 Now, after you take them, like, the next day, do you feel like shit?
00:23:33.000 No.
00:23:34.000 Do you feel worn out?
00:23:35.000 No.
00:23:35.000 There's no, none of that kind of effects.
00:23:37.000 Like, I don't get the headaches.
00:23:38.000 Are you, like, a spokesperson for Boner Pills?
00:23:39.000 No.
00:23:39.000 They have a stake in these companies?
00:23:41.000 I had an addiction to them, and I spinned out of control with them.
00:23:44.000 Why don't they fucking sponsor your podcast?
00:23:46.000 I don't want anything to do with them anymore.
00:23:48.000 Dude, you need sponsors.
00:23:50.000 This should be your first sponsor.
00:23:52.000 I think Onnit needs to figure out what's in these things and make their own.
00:23:55.000 No, no, no.
00:23:57.000 Probably not a good idea.
00:23:58.000 We don't want to be involved in any shady shit.
00:24:03.000 Dr. Brian's boner pill?
00:24:06.000 It would be a side on it company.
00:24:08.000 You could say, I'm not really a doctor, but I play one on the internet.
00:24:11.000 You have a fucking stethoscope on...
00:24:14.000 This is Dr. Rhino.
00:24:16.000 No, just hold on to a dead rhino's horn.
00:24:19.000 An actual...
00:24:20.000 You know, we can get that special effects guy.
00:24:22.000 The guy that did the American Werewolf to make a rhino horn with blood at the bottom of it.
00:24:27.000 Like you had just chopped it off.
00:24:28.000 Like that.
00:24:29.000 Oh, like that.
00:24:29.000 And on the other side make it like a helmet, like it looks like a dick on the horn.
00:24:33.000 That would be so offensive.
00:24:34.000 People would cry.
00:24:35.000 What have you done?
00:24:37.000 They killed a fucking rhino just for their show.
00:24:41.000 Rhinos are beautiful, man.
00:24:43.000 It is kind of fucked up that they get killed for that one specific reason, for those horns.
00:24:48.000 So weird, man.
00:24:50.000 It's just so weird.
00:24:52.000 But you know what?
00:24:53.000 That rhino, even though it looks sad that he got his horns chopped off, he's probably like, dude, my face is a lot lighter now.
00:24:58.000 This is way better.
00:24:59.000 He doesn't know.
00:25:00.000 He's an idiot.
00:25:00.000 Look at him.
00:25:01.000 Look at his stupid head.
00:25:02.000 Stupid eyelashes.
00:25:02.000 He doesn't know shit.
00:25:03.000 But did they chop his horn off to save him?
00:25:05.000 Is that what they did here?
00:25:06.000 Because I know they're doing some weird stuff to save...
00:25:10.000 What does it say?
00:25:12.000 Made for boner. 1.00
00:25:13.000 Oh, farmed game?
00:25:15.000 Armed gang.
00:25:16.000 Oh, an armed gang reportedly broke into the game preserve.
00:25:19.000 Oh, and then cut the fucking horns off. 1.00
00:25:22.000 Stole seven rhino horns from a safe.
00:25:25.000 Oh, so the photo doesn't represent...
00:25:27.000 Is that Photoshop, maybe?
00:25:29.000 Looks real.
00:25:31.000 Either way.
00:25:32.000 They're doing this to elephants.
00:25:35.000 They're painting their tusks pink.
00:25:38.000 They're dying.
00:25:39.000 For breast cancer?
00:25:40.000 Yes.
00:25:41.000 For awareness.
00:25:43.000 For awareness.
00:25:45.000 I've got to write that down.
00:25:47.000 Talk for a second.
00:25:48.000 I've got to write something down.
00:25:49.000 I've been forgetting and I just remembered.
00:25:51.000 Oh my god.
00:25:52.000 Hold on one second.
00:25:53.000 The rhinos on these boner pills all have their horns though. 0.55
00:25:57.000 So that's good.
00:25:59.000 It is weird that ants and rhinoceroses both supposedly can make boners.
00:26:06.000 What?
00:26:06.000 Yeah, like ants, like if you grind up these African ants, they can also make boners.
00:26:12.000 But rhinoceros horn doesn't work.
00:26:13.000 Maybe it does.
00:26:14.000 Maybe it does.
00:26:16.000 There's so many rhinos all over these things.
00:26:19.000 But there's a lot of that Chinese medicine stuff that just doesn't do anything.
00:26:22.000 Some of it's gotta work though.
00:26:24.000 I mean, they were hit and miss back then when they couldn't do testing.
00:26:27.000 You had a hope that you found a guy that was completely legit.
00:26:31.000 A guy who really knew how to make magic potions.
00:26:33.000 It's essentially what it was.
00:26:35.000 When they didn't have any data, no internet, no encyclopedias, no fucking medical books to call upon, those fucking people, there's a lot of guessing going on.
00:26:43.000 This is not real.
00:26:45.000 It's not real?
00:26:46.000 It's like an online thing that kind of went viral.
00:26:49.000 Oh.
00:26:50.000 But there's still some sort of conservation effort going on, but the pink tusk painting isn't a real thing.
00:26:55.000 Okay, so was it a Photoshop thing, or was it a hoax?
00:26:59.000 Yeah.
00:27:00.000 Both-ish.
00:27:01.000 Reports online regarding elephant tusk being painted pink in an effort to devalue the ivory poachers.
00:27:06.000 Listen, man, people would still take it.
00:27:08.000 They would go, dude, this is a pink one.
00:27:09.000 This is one they tried to save.
00:27:11.000 Psyche!
00:27:13.000 It is kind of fucked up, man.
00:27:17.000 It's just such a weird...
00:27:18.000 It's a weird thing that people would do to chop off a part of an animal's face to try to get their dick hard.
00:27:27.000 You know, it'd be one thing if there wasn't an alternative.
00:27:31.000 Don't you think if it was really awesome you would have heard about it though?
00:27:35.000 I don't know, man.
00:27:36.000 I think it might be something to it.
00:27:40.000 Okay.
00:27:41.000 Why don't you Google, can rhino horns really give you an erection? 1.00
00:27:45.000 Or just put rhino boner.
00:27:47.000 He won't do it because it's his laptop.
00:27:48.000 He's like, I'm not getting on a list.
00:27:50.000 You're not going to do this to me.
00:27:52.000 I thought, can rhino horn, I'll just even show you what that says.
00:27:55.000 Can rhino horn.
00:27:56.000 Cure cancer.
00:27:57.000 Grow back.
00:27:58.000 Regrow.
00:27:59.000 Or what can they be used for?
00:28:01.000 How about right erection?
00:28:02.000 Why are you doing that?
00:28:04.000 Erectile dysfunction.
00:28:05.000 That's what I'm looking for.
00:28:06.000 Bam.
00:28:06.000 Dude, if it helped you with erectile dysfunction and cancer...
00:28:08.000 Viagra and species protection.
00:28:12.000 Oh my god.
00:28:13.000 What was that saying?
00:28:14.000 It was speculative?
00:28:16.000 Yeah, it's too small.
00:28:17.000 What is all speculation so far, but the anti-impotence drug Viagra...
00:28:21.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
00:28:23.000 Tiger penises too, I guess, huh?
00:28:26.000 Tiger penis is not as good.
00:28:28.000 Viagra, Cialis, or powdered rhino horn?
00:28:31.000 Which one is the most effective?
00:28:32.000 Click on that one.
00:28:33.000 Above Top Secret.
00:28:34.000 Definitely going to be legit if it's on Above Top Secret, especially if it's in a forum.
00:28:38.000 Black helicopters.
00:28:40.000 Is it possible in this day and age, 21st century, there's still men out there that honestly believe that powdered horn of an animal that has been butchered sometimes, blah, blah.
00:28:50.000 It's had its horns removed by a chainsaw could still be effective cure for erectile dysfunction.
00:28:55.000 Are we really still this backward?
00:28:58.000 Shouldn't the medical companies that are marketing meds, which are supposed to be temporary cures for this problem, be targeting the men, mainly Oriental, Asian, racist, I am sure, who are directly responsible for the death of so many rhino?
00:29:16.000 Rhino.
00:29:16.000 Isn't that the way to say it?
00:29:17.000 Or rhinos?
00:29:18.000 Rhinos. 0.89
00:29:19.000 But it sounds better, like you're sophisticated.
00:29:21.000 Like deer.
00:29:22.000 All right.
00:29:22.000 So many rhino.
00:29:23.000 Octopi.
00:29:24.000 I'm a fan of octopi.
00:29:27.000 I thought that most far eastern countries were actually quite progressive, but they themselves are proving that they are not!
00:29:34.000 First of all, fuckface, there's a billion people in China alone. 0.82
00:29:40.000 One billion.
00:29:43.000 There's not that many people chopping off rhino horns.
00:29:45.000 If you compare them to the idiots that we have here in America, just by capita, you know, the number of people that are scarfing up rhino horn in Asia versus the number of people here that are chewing on bath salts. 0.91
00:30:00.000 There's probably way more bath salt people here than rhino horn people there. 0.96
00:30:04.000 Like, that's a totally racist thing to say, sir, for someone who's so concerned with the health and welfare of these rhino-si. 1.00
00:30:13.000 This guy's an idiot. 0.57
00:30:14.000 Yeah.
00:30:14.000 Well, he's a guy on a forum.
00:30:16.000 It's easy to be an idiot on a forum.
00:30:18.000 It's easy to be an idiot on a podcast, too.
00:30:21.000 It's easy to be an idiot.
00:30:23.000 You know, but I just, I don't understand why, like, there's, there seems to be, like, an easy cure for that.
00:30:31.000 Like, if you just got them some of that gas station boner pills, they wouldn't want to have anything to do with a rhino horn.
00:30:36.000 A rhino horn's worth thousands of fucking dollars.
00:30:38.000 Unless there is a little bit of rhino horn in all these.
00:30:42.000 Imagine if that's what it was.
00:30:43.000 They even made a hologram on this one.
00:30:45.000 No shit.
00:30:46.000 Imagine if that's what it is.
00:30:47.000 Yeah.
00:30:48.000 We gotta find out, man.
00:30:49.000 I bet we would be a pioneer.
00:30:51.000 I'd be the first person to actually do a scientific test on these pills, including the people that made them.
00:30:57.000 I bet they never tested shit.
00:30:58.000 They don't know what the fuck's in there, probably.
00:31:01.000 You know, when we had some of the earlier versions of AlphaBrain, we would run these random tests on them, and we'd find out that there would be B12 in it or something like that, or creatine.
00:31:13.000 It wasn't creatine.
00:31:14.000 It was B12- I would have to ask Aubrey.
00:31:18.000 I'm talking out of my ass.
00:31:18.000 But the bottom line was the mixers that they used for our stuff, when they combine all of our stuff, they didn't clean it out.
00:31:27.000 So they had whatever was in there before.
00:31:30.000 Even though it was just trace, trace them out, they don't give a fuck.
00:31:33.000 They just dump it in there, shake that bag, uh-uh-uh-uh.
00:31:38.000 Talk, fart, get on the radio, maybe spit in there.
00:31:41.000 People are assholes.
00:31:42.000 Yeah, it's probably done in a tent also.
00:31:45.000 It's probably not a lab, it's probably a tent somewhere.
00:31:48.000 Where do you think they make boner pills? 1.00
00:31:49.000 If you had a Pomona? 0.65
00:31:50.000 Yeah, this is definitely like Van Nuys.
00:31:51.000 Like by the Pomona Raceway?
00:31:52.000 Van Nuys.
00:31:53.000 This is Van Nuys material.
00:31:55.000 I think there's some dudes, they have a trailer right outside the freeway, like under an underpass.
00:32:00.000 They're cooking it right in plain sight.
00:32:02.000 Right.
00:32:03.000 I just want to know the guys that sell these that come into the gas stations, like what those guys, like the salesmen, the boner pills, like number 11. Definitely sunglasses on all the time.
00:32:12.000 You don't get to see their eyes.
00:32:14.000 Sketchy, loud looking left and looking right.
00:32:20.000 Apparently there's a big NPR piece on this.
00:32:23.000 No, the NBR people are into getting hard-ons.
00:32:26.000 Nice.
00:32:27.000 I'm just looking down the whole article right now, but it says, contrary to the popular myth in the West, rhino horn was never traditionally viewed as an aphrodisiac.
00:32:35.000 I'm finding some stuff.
00:32:36.000 They use it for all sorts of things, like as a gift.
00:32:38.000 Some people think it's a hangover cure.
00:32:41.000 Jesus Christ.
00:32:42.000 It's valued more than gold.
00:32:45.000 Something like $1,400 an ounce.
00:32:48.000 Powered in gold?
00:32:49.000 Is that what you're talking about?
00:32:52.000 More than gold?
00:32:53.000 Yeah, I'll show you the article.
00:32:57.000 Vietnam's appetite for rhino horn drives poaching in Africa.
00:33:00.000 This is from 2013. They killed 668 rhinos in 2012. It goes in to talk about what they're using to kill them and whatnot.
00:33:10.000 And then it says how much it's worth.
00:33:11.000 Look at this smuggler.
00:33:13.000 The guy gave it his name.
00:33:15.000 Sits behind rhino horn C.O. They were seized at the airport.
00:33:19.000 Wow.
00:33:22.000 Yeah, there's a 60 pound...
00:33:23.000 60 pounds got caught being smuggled in Ho Chi Minh City that was worth over like 1.5 million dollars.
00:33:29.000 Holy shit.
00:33:31.000 Yeah.
00:33:33.000 They use it for a lot of things apparently.
00:33:35.000 That is a crazy number.
00:33:36.000 I had no idea that six pounds was worth a million bucks.
00:33:41.000 Surveys...
00:33:41.000 30 different ailments including hangovers.
00:33:45.000 Like a fad, it became popular. 0.98
00:33:47.000 It's a great gift to your boss or a government official.
00:33:51.000 It's a great gift for your boss or a government official.
00:33:55.000 That's how Boi Thanh... 0.99
00:33:57.000 How do you say that name?
00:33:59.000 Thanh.
00:34:00.000 T-H-A-N-H. A retired... 1.00
00:34:04.000 Thanh?
00:34:05.000 Thanh?
00:34:06.000 A retired official who used to approve construction projects in the Vietnamese government got his stash of rhino horn.
00:34:13.000 Buoy began taking rhino horn to recover from drinking binges with contractors.
00:34:20.000 Every time I drank alcohol, I'd go home and grind the horn and drink it, says Buoy, a 65-year-old grandfather of two.
00:34:26.000 An hour later, I'd throw up and feel sober again.
00:34:31.000 Hmm.
00:34:32.000 Hmm.
00:34:33.000 That chick likes it. 1.00
00:34:34.000 Sitting on his breakfast table, he unwraps a piece of newspaper to reveal a small, grainy block of rhino horn he received as a gift.
00:34:42.000 Whoa.
00:34:44.000 Booy pours water into a specially made bowl with a rough bottom and grinds the block of horn into a milky white liquid.
00:34:54.000 The grinding creates an odor that smells like burned hair.
00:34:58.000 It's because rhino horn contains keratin, the main component, fingernails, and hair.
00:35:03.000 He says that the value of rhino horn grew.
00:35:07.000 As the value of rhino horn grew, it became a kind of currency.
00:35:11.000 Oh, it's fucked.
00:35:12.000 It's a part of their culture.
00:35:14.000 That's fucked.
00:35:15.000 That's fucked that they're, like, trading it and giving it to officials and bosses and, look what I have for you.
00:35:22.000 Very illegal right now.
00:35:23.000 Yeah, it's like, uh, when we use, like, liquor that way, sometimes people use really- How about Cuban cigars?
00:35:27.000 Yeah, I'll do that too, yeah.
00:35:28.000 Well, Cuban cigars were the thing, because Cuban cigars, up until, like, really recently, were illegal.
00:35:34.000 Mm-hmm.
00:35:35.000 We could smoke one right now.
00:35:37.000 Wanna smoke one?
00:35:38.000 Sure.
00:35:38.000 We have three of them.
00:35:38.000 Exactly, three of them.
00:35:39.000 Let's do it.
00:35:40.000 Yeah.
00:35:42.000 Who brought these in?
00:35:44.000 These are real Cubans? 0.91
00:35:46.000 Yeah.
00:35:47.000 We have three of them.
00:35:48.000 Oh, some tits. 1.00
00:35:50.000 God damn it.
00:35:51.000 Who brought them to us?
00:35:53.000 I'll remember...
00:35:54.000 Was it Aubrey?
00:35:56.000 No, someone was in the last month, I feel like.
00:35:59.000 Was it Chris Ryan?
00:36:01.000 No.
00:36:02.000 Chris Ryan's on the new Nikki Glaser show.
00:36:05.000 Powerful.
00:36:06.000 Pretty funny on that.
00:36:08.000 That's Chris McGuire is the EP of that show.
00:36:11.000 Such a good show.
00:36:12.000 Powerful Chris McGuire.
00:36:13.000 We're here smoking Cuban cigars.
00:36:16.000 You're allowed to smoke them now.
00:36:16.000 You know what they say about Cuba, man?
00:36:18.000 They say you gotta get to Cuba now.
00:36:20.000 They're like, get there now.
00:36:22.000 Because it's gonna turn into fucking Applebee's.
00:36:24.000 It's gonna be like, six months from now, it'll be Marriott.
00:36:28.000 You don't bite the end off here.
00:36:29.000 I read something about how, like, we are already...
00:36:34.000 He's dried out.
00:36:35.000 They're gonna be shitty.
00:36:37.000 I heard that we're, like, taking all their beverages.
00:36:39.000 Like, Americans are already, like, taking all their water supplies.
00:36:42.000 These broke apart?
00:36:43.000 Oh, wow.
00:36:44.000 Yeah, it broke apart.
00:36:44.000 It's dry.
00:36:45.000 We didn't put them in a humidor.
00:36:47.000 I thought they were in these...
00:36:48.000 There's different kinds of these tubes, and some of these tubes are sealed.
00:36:52.000 These ones are just kind of screwed down.
00:36:55.000 Let's see.
00:36:56.000 A half cigar...
00:37:04.000 People hear that sound.
00:37:05.000 That's the sound of me being a man.
00:37:08.000 Smoking a cigar.
00:37:09.000 Cuban, by the way.
00:37:10.000 Probably fake.
00:37:10.000 Just chewing on it.
00:37:11.000 It's not bad.
00:37:12.000 Don't chew on it, dude.
00:37:13.000 It's gonna get you sick.
00:37:21.000 I chewed tobacco when I was a kid because I read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, which is now censored.
00:37:29.000 Like the choo-choo? 1.00
00:37:29.000 Like on the side of your mouth? 1.00
00:37:30.000 Yeah.
00:37:31.000 Real chew.
00:37:32.000 Like you buy a brick of it.
00:37:35.000 We're being men here!
00:37:37.000 Men!
00:37:37.000 Want to turn that air conditioning thing on behind you?
00:37:43.000 And we'll get some hot flow up in this bitch. 1.00
00:37:49.000 Stuff!
00:37:53.000 Yeah, so it was like a brick that looked like maybe like a pack of gum or something like that and you pull it apart and then you bite into the brick and pull off chunks of tobacco and chew on it and I almost threw up once.
00:38:05.000 Maybe I did throw up, but I was like, alright, this is stupid.
00:38:08.000 But I got into it because of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.
00:38:11.000 Yeah, I never got into smoking cigars because I wanted to inhale it so much.
00:38:16.000 Yeah, but you get high as fuck off these things.
00:38:19.000 Tobacco has some sort of psychoactive properties to it, for sure.
00:38:23.000 And I think that they use it in a lot of ayahuasca rituals, where they light tobacco smoke and they blow it in your face while you're tripping.
00:38:33.000 And both Aubrey and Amber Lyon, when they did it, were talking about that.
00:38:40.000 I've smoked cigars before and got some really good ideas, where I was like, ooh, my brain is flying.
00:38:46.000 You'd probably really like cigarettes.
00:38:48.000 I just can't wait until...
00:38:50.000 Except for the whole being healthy thing.
00:38:53.000 Yeah, I probably would.
00:38:54.000 Yeah.
00:38:55.000 You know, Eddie Bravo will smoke a cigarette every now and then.
00:38:57.000 Mm-hmm.
00:38:58.000 I found that thing a couple weeks ago that I didn't want to bring up because I wasn't sure if it was real, but it said that cigarettes are like proven.
00:39:04.000 There was some study that was proven to give some sort of benefit for creativity.
00:39:09.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:39:10.000 The negative of the inhaling almost didn't even outweigh the benefit you got from creativity.
00:39:16.000 Well, health-wise, yeah, the risk.
00:39:17.000 They were saying that it's like a nootropic, that it actually stimulates brain function.
00:39:22.000 But if that's the case, you're just talking about the nicotine.
00:39:25.000 So I've done, before shows, I've sucked on those blue cigarettes.
00:39:30.000 First of all, because I want to be Stephen Dorff, secretly.
00:39:34.000 And second of all, because they do give you like a little pep, like a cup of coffee type pep.
00:39:39.000 You know?
00:39:39.000 Yeah.
00:39:41.000 But that's not as strong as a cigarette, right?
00:39:43.000 No, that shit's bullshit compared to a cigarette.
00:39:45.000 That's why I've tried doing the vape life and all that bullshit, but it's just not the same.
00:39:50.000 It's something too.
00:39:51.000 I should smoke a cigarette before I go on stage.
00:39:53.000 Yeah.
00:39:54.000 Just one time, see what it's like.
00:39:56.000 You should also have it with your morning coffee after you eat, after sex.
00:40:00.000 You should have it with a drink while you're driving.
00:40:03.000 The problem is, people get addicted.
00:40:08.000 I'm not going to do it.
00:40:09.000 I'm not going to get addicted to cigarettes.
00:40:11.000 I would never let it.
00:40:13.000 Yeah, that could be a problem.
00:40:16.000 Even if you only smoked two cigarettes a weekend over the course of your life, that's a lot of cigarettes.
00:40:21.000 Yeah, but you're old enough to do it now.
00:40:23.000 Well, Eddie does.
00:40:24.000 The only reason why I would think there would be a way to do it is because Eddie Eddie just will smoke a cigarette every now and again.
00:40:30.000 Like, he might smoke once a month or every two months or something like that.
00:40:35.000 And I'm like, wow, what is that?
00:40:37.000 He's like, I like it.
00:40:37.000 I like it every now and then.
00:40:38.000 Every now and then he'll have one.
00:40:39.000 Like, that's interesting.
00:40:41.000 Diaz used to do that for a while, too, but he doesn't do it anymore.
00:40:44.000 I think he still does the blue cigarette, though.
00:40:47.000 We're talking about Joey, not Nate or Nick, by the way.
00:40:51.000 But Diaz used to, even after he quit, he would go outside and take a cigarette from you, smoke one right before a show.
00:40:58.000 There's definitely some benefit in nicotine.
00:41:01.000 Definitely.
00:41:02.000 I just would wonder, maybe I should just smoke a cigar before I go on stage.
00:41:07.000 What gives you more of a rush?
00:41:09.000 I would say cigarettes probably better because you're inhaling it or you're supposed to inhale it and it's faster.
00:41:14.000 You're not stinking up the place.
00:41:15.000 That's the problem with this thing.
00:41:17.000 Stinking up the place.
00:41:17.000 First of all, how dare you?
00:41:18.000 I know.
00:41:19.000 I know.
00:41:19.000 I'm one of the guys that when they smell this, they get immediately angry.
00:41:23.000 They're like, okay, who's the guy that's just fucking ruining everybody's day?
00:41:27.000 This is what we're going to do.
00:41:28.000 We're going to go old-timey men. 0.99
00:41:31.000 Not like men from the 60s and 70s.
00:41:34.000 We're going to go old time, like 30s and 20s.
00:41:36.000 We're going to start smoking pipes.
00:41:37.000 Mad Men?
00:41:38.000 No, Mad Men.
00:41:39.000 I've never watched that show.
00:41:40.000 The only reason why I wanted to watch that show is because that red-headed girl, the bosomy red-headed girl is so hot. 1.00
00:41:45.000 I wanted to watch that.
00:41:46.000 I like her girls just not afraid to put some pounds on. 1.00
00:41:50.000 Does that tobacco you roll cigarettes with, does that have a lot of nicotine in it?
00:41:53.000 Oh, yeah.
00:41:54.000 Like if you made a half joint, half.
00:41:56.000 Those fuck you up, man.
00:41:57.000 I never really do spliffs.
00:41:59.000 I'm not a spliff guy, but when I was hanging out with Charlie Murphy, I did. 0.99
00:42:03.000 That's how Charlie Murphy would roll all of them.
00:42:05.000 So you'd be taking in the weed with the nicotine together.
00:42:08.000 I got higher than probably any other time before in my life doing shows with Charlie.
00:42:15.000 Charlie Murphy's one of the coolest fucking guys in the world.
00:42:18.000 He really is.
00:42:19.000 I love that guy.
00:42:21.000 He's just such a good dude.
00:42:23.000 Such a solid guy.
00:42:26.000 And he smokes the shit out of those blunts.
00:42:29.000 I hate when girls do that. 1.00
00:42:31.000 A lot of girls like the blunts usually. 1.00
00:42:34.000 I don't know why.
00:42:36.000 To me, it's like a white guy smoking a menthol.
00:42:38.000 Like, oh, you're one of those blunt girls.
00:42:40.000 Great.
00:42:40.000 Well, you're dating girls that like to fuck black guys.
00:42:42.000 Yeah.
00:42:43.000 It's totally normal.
00:42:44.000 Super common.
00:42:45.000 I think that's more of age.
00:42:46.000 Do they say y'all a lot and get mad and throw their hands around like gang signs?
00:42:53.000 This shit just stinks.
00:42:54.000 I could never be a cigar smoker in my house because you could tell this would just fucking get on everything.
00:42:59.000 It smells awesome.
00:42:59.000 You like the smell?
00:43:00.000 I love it.
00:43:01.000 Don't know what you're talking about.
00:43:02.000 But I don't love it as much as pipes.
00:43:04.000 And that's what I was thinking of.
00:43:05.000 Wasn't it Bertrand Russell, I think, who was a famous inveterate pipe smoker, tobacco addict, brilliant man.
00:43:13.000 And back in the day, he wouldn't fly unless he could smoke on the plane.
00:43:19.000 He wouldn't fly.
00:43:20.000 He said, yeah, there he is.
00:43:21.000 That's him.
00:43:22.000 He's got a story on tobacco.
00:43:25.000 Why don't you find the YouTube clip?
00:43:27.000 Bertrand Russell on tobacco.
00:43:30.000 Fascinating guy because that guy lived in the dark ages of information as far as the modern world and the world of photography and the ability to document things.
00:43:40.000 So to get a guy like this on a YouTube video...
00:43:44.000 Show it to us?
00:43:46.000 What year was this?
00:43:48.000 Oh, tobacco.
00:43:49.000 I smoke a pipe all day long except when I'm eating or sleeping.
00:43:53.000 Hasn't that shortened your life?
00:43:55.000 Well, they used to say it would when I first took to it, but I took to it some 70 years ago, so it doesn't seem to have had a very great effect so far.
00:44:07.000 In fact, you know, on one occasion, it saved my life.
00:44:13.000 I was...
00:44:14.000 In an airplane, and a man was getting a seat for me, and I said, get me a seat in the smoking part, so if I can't smoke, I should die.
00:44:24.000 And sure enough, there was an accident, a bad accident, and all the people in the non-smoking part of the plane were drowned.
00:44:33.000 And the people in the smoking part jumped into the Norwegian fjord where we landed and were saved.
00:44:43.000 Did he drown all the people?
00:44:45.000 He was in a plane crash, Brian.
00:44:49.000 Don't sacrifice that story for a quip.
00:44:53.000 He's a plane crash, bro.
00:44:55.000 That's crazy.
00:44:55.000 So all the people...
00:44:58.000 There's a real ashtray somewhere.
00:45:00.000 This seems like one of those stories that everyone was like, oh, is that true?
00:45:04.000 But there was no internet back then, so we all just believed this guy.
00:45:07.000 Like, there probably was not even a plane accident, you know?
00:45:09.000 And he probably made this shit up just because he's old and he's got a British accent or whatever.
00:45:13.000 Like, if liars got together and, you know, they had, like, liar conventions, like, the years that the internet came out, they'd be like, boys, we got some problems.
00:45:21.000 We got some problems on the horizon.
00:45:22.000 We got to figure out a way to lie better.
00:45:25.000 This is how you gotta cover your tracks like liars.
00:45:28.000 It used to be super common to be completely full of shit, particularly about your martial arts background.
00:45:34.000 There was a lot of really crazy people when I was a kid that were like claiming martial arts master.
00:45:40.000 And they would walk around with, like, Chinese kung fu outfits on and shit and slippers. 1.00
00:45:44.000 They would walk around with those ninja shoes where they had the toe that was split.
00:45:48.000 You ever seen those shoes?
00:45:49.000 I've seen dudes walk around with kung fu outfits and they're representing two completely different countries.
00:45:56.000 The kung fu outfit is from Japan.
00:45:57.000 The ninja slippers are from Japan.
00:45:59.000 The kung fu outfit is from China, rather.
00:46:01.000 The ninja outfit is from Japan.
00:46:03.000 These motherfuckers mix and match. 1.00
00:46:05.000 They're different styles of train killer.
00:46:09.000 But that guy isn't a good example though.
00:46:11.000 Back then, you'd be like, so every single person died in the non-smoking.
00:46:16.000 Every single one.
00:46:17.000 There was a line where it said, no smoking, all those people died.
00:46:20.000 Well, the front of the plane.
00:46:21.000 Also, you have to think of, when you're watching a guy like Bertrand Russell, when was that filmed, did it say?
00:46:31.000 If he was talking about how it saved his life, that had to be before they made that shitty-ass, old, grainy movie, which was in black and white.
00:46:38.000 So it was probably a long fucking time ago when planes were made out of fucking gum wrappers.
00:46:44.000 1959, I think.
00:46:45.000 Is when he died?
00:46:45.000 No, that's when that interview was.
00:46:47.000 Okay.
00:46:47.000 So if it's in 59, then the plane was probably from the 40s or 50s.
00:46:52.000 I mean, who knows when it happened.
00:46:54.000 But, yeah, that ain't good.
00:46:55.000 That's just mad denial and wanting an excuse for smoking.
00:46:58.000 Yeah, yeah, it saved my life.
00:47:00.000 I want it.
00:47:02.000 Smokes a pipe, though.
00:47:03.000 Pipe is definitely a different animal.
00:47:05.000 My grandfather used to smoke, and he used to have those big, back in the day, they used to have those big lighters that would sit on your desk, and it was just like, huge ones.
00:47:13.000 It had like a cloth wrap around the bottom of it.
00:47:15.000 Yeah, I remember those.
00:47:17.000 This is the incident he was in.
00:47:19.000 Oh, it was real.
00:47:19.000 The Buchan Burst disaster.
00:47:22.000 It was the crash of a flying boat.
00:47:23.000 A what?
00:47:25.000 A what?
00:47:26.000 A flying boat.
00:47:27.000 Why didn't you mention that, Bertrand?
00:47:30.000 Flying boat.
00:47:31.000 The survivors were all in the smoking compartment at the back of the cabin.
00:47:34.000 It's true.
00:47:34.000 Damn.
00:47:35.000 Among the survivors were the philosopher Bertrand Russell.
00:47:38.000 Wikipedia.
00:47:38.000 Citation needed.
00:47:39.000 Wikipedia is awesome.
00:47:41.000 Although it does say I'm 5'9", and Brian Cowan's my brother.
00:47:45.000 I don't know why.
00:47:46.000 Maybe he added that.
00:47:48.000 Brian?
00:47:48.000 No.
00:47:49.000 I think it was in my, um, one of the thing.
00:47:52.000 Oh, uh, shiny.
00:47:53.000 No, not shiny happy G-Had.
00:47:54.000 I'm gonna be dead someday.
00:47:56.000 The sketch that Brian Callen and I did in my parents' basement where we're banging each other.
00:48:00.000 We're working out.
00:48:01.000 We're getting pumped.
00:48:02.000 I think how that whole thing started is because you used to say he's your brother from another mother and some idiot was like, oh, they're brothers.
00:48:10.000 Well, maybe it's just for fun.
00:48:12.000 People did it.
00:48:13.000 And he looks like my brother.
00:48:14.000 He totally looks like he'd be my brother.
00:48:16.000 Like we just grew in different directions.
00:48:18.000 He went north and south and I went east and west.
00:48:20.000 What?
00:48:22.000 Like, if he stretched his face out and he stretched his shoulders out, it's very similar in a lot of ways.
00:48:28.000 But he's, um, might as well be my brother.
00:48:31.000 But, uh, yeah, Wikipedia's wrong about a lot of shit.
00:48:33.000 It says I have Crohn's disease, too, at least it used to, which I don't.
00:48:37.000 Where'd that even start from?
00:48:39.000 That's funny.
00:48:39.000 Somebody being funny.
00:48:40.000 Somebody being silly.
00:48:41.000 I didn't want to change any of it.
00:48:43.000 I think it's funny.
00:48:44.000 I like what the internet does, for the most part.
00:48:47.000 I think a little bit of disinformation makes people go, what?
00:48:51.000 Wait, are you serious?
00:48:52.000 I like that.
00:48:54.000 Even when those stupid stories come out, like I killed a mountain lion with a belt...
00:48:57.000 My own sister called me up.
00:48:59.000 My own fucking sister.
00:49:01.000 She's like, was that true?
00:49:01.000 I go, what are you talking about?
00:49:03.000 You can't kill a mountain lion with a belt.
00:49:04.000 You don't think I'd call you if I did?
00:49:06.000 I'd be like, strap yourself in, sister, because your brother's a fucking gangster!
00:49:11.000 I killed a mountain lion with a belt!
00:49:14.000 Oh my god, what?
00:49:15.000 I killed a fucking mountain lion with a belt.
00:49:17.000 I'm about to go do a news story.
00:49:19.000 I'll call you back later.
00:49:20.000 Okay.
00:49:20.000 I'd be strutting around in my underwear with scars all over my body.
00:49:24.000 I'd have all the gauze, like with the blood oozing through all the stitches, which I would be fucking covered with.
00:49:30.000 Because even if you survive a mountain lion attack, you ain't surviving unscathed.
00:49:34.000 If you go to guyscode on Instagram, guyscode on Instagram is an excellent product.
00:49:40.000 A little Instagram page that has a lot of pictures of girls' butts.
00:49:45.000 Great butts. 1.00
00:49:46.000 You look at their asses and you go, good lord. 1.00
00:49:48.000 Why is that so appealing to look at?
00:49:50.000 Even if someone who knows is never going to get near that girl, much less be able to squeeze it from behind, you just want to.
00:49:57.000 And so it's worth looking at.
00:49:58.000 Like, it gives you that little, ooh.
00:49:59.000 So they're providing you with a little pleasure when they show you their asses in those pictures, those wonderful gals of the Instagram. 1.00
00:50:05.000 But Guys Code had this picture of this guy who was like in the 1800s, killed a leopard with his bare hands.
00:50:12.000 He got attacked by a leopard in Africa.
00:50:15.000 And it wasn't a giant one, but it was big enough to fuck you up, man.
00:50:19.000 And he was all wrapped up in stitches, but the thing was dead next to him.
00:50:22.000 And his arms in a sling.
00:50:24.000 I mean, he's fucked up.
00:50:25.000 And when you got fucked up back then, you got fucked up for keeps.
00:50:29.000 Like, they didn't fix you.
00:50:30.000 There was no stem cells.
00:50:31.000 You know?
00:50:32.000 They didn't have ACL surgery.
00:50:34.000 I mean, I would literally be crippled.
00:50:36.000 Both of my knees would be completely shot, because I had...
00:50:39.000 There's the guy.
00:50:40.000 What's his name?
00:50:40.000 Carl Akeley.
00:50:43.000 A-K-E-L-E-Y. And they have him down there as badass of the week.
00:50:47.000 And he's got a leopard that, shit, how much do you think that weighs?
00:50:50.000 I don't know, but it's...
00:50:51.000 At least 60 pounds.
00:50:52.000 Big enough...
00:50:53.000 To seem like it could be a little bit dangerous, but it also looks like you could kind of kill that.
00:50:57.000 It just would suck.
00:50:58.000 Like, I have to break this poor cat's neck.
00:51:00.000 Dude, that thing would kill you. 0.97
00:51:02.000 Yeah?
00:51:02.000 Fuck yeah.
00:51:03.000 Are you kidding me?
00:51:04.000 Just think...
00:51:05.000 I think it would probably kill me.
00:51:07.000 I mean, I think that guy...
00:51:08.000 Probably got real lucky.
00:51:10.000 The cat was probably sick, which is why I was trying to attack and kill a person in the first place.
00:51:15.000 I mean, that does happen.
00:51:16.000 They get sick, they get old.
00:51:18.000 Sometimes their teeth get worn out and they can't kill something big anymore.
00:51:22.000 So that's one of the problems with certain animals.
00:51:25.000 When they're predators, they start picking on people because they can't get animals anymore.
00:51:29.000 And people are so goddamn slow.
00:51:32.000 What'd he say?
00:51:34.000 I felt no pain, but I certainly never thought for a moment that I would come out alive.
00:51:39.000 I was rather calm, as a matter of fact, except for a tremendous and wildly pleasant thrill I felt knowing that I was battling for my life.
00:51:48.000 What a fucking man!
00:51:50.000 What a man!
00:51:52.000 That's why he survived!
00:51:53.000 What year was this?
00:51:56.000 What does it say?
00:51:59.000 Doesn't say.
00:52:00.000 Doesn't say?
00:52:01.000 No.
00:52:02.000 What a fucking savage.
00:52:03.000 1864?
00:52:04.000 Oh, he was born in 1864. Oh.
00:52:06.000 He fought an elephant, too.
00:52:07.000 He got pinned by an elephant.
00:52:08.000 Okay, he might be a dick.
00:52:09.000 Yeah.
00:52:09.000 He might have been like the fucking crocodile hunter of his day, just threatening animals.
00:52:17.000 Yeah.
00:52:18.000 Or he might, you know, if you're in Africa for a long enough time, you probably get jacked. 0.99
00:52:23.000 So he was born in 1865, so how old do you think he was in that picture?
00:52:26.000 Probably 30, right?
00:52:27.000 Yeah.
00:52:27.000 Scroll up, Jamie.
00:52:28.000 Let me get a look at him.
00:52:31.000 All the way up.
00:52:32.000 There you go.
00:52:33.000 Looks like Kyle Kinane.
00:52:38.000 That's a hard drinking 35. Depends.
00:52:42.000 That leopard would fuck you up.
00:52:44.000 Would fuck me up.
00:52:45.000 If we had it in the studio, you know how terrified we would be?
00:52:48.000 Oh, I'd be terrified, but then once you grabbed it, it seems like you could just like fall on its head or something.
00:52:53.000 You're out of your mind.
00:52:54.000 You're out of your mind.
00:52:55.000 Have you ever held on to a cat that wants to get away?
00:52:57.000 You have.
00:52:57.000 You have cats.
00:52:58.000 You ever wash your cat?
00:53:00.000 Yeah.
00:53:00.000 Yeah.
00:53:01.000 You know how they try to kick and fucking twist and they get mad at you?
00:53:04.000 Pure muscle.
00:53:05.000 You know, I have two of the sweetest cats in the world.
00:53:07.000 Until you try to give them a bath, those little fuckers want to go to war with you. 1.00
00:53:11.000 I'm like, settle down.
00:53:12.000 We're just getting wet.
00:53:13.000 Right.
00:53:13.000 Settle down.
00:53:18.000 Wash yourself, bitch. 1.00
00:53:19.000 You got a dirty ass. 1.00
00:53:21.000 Especially when they're fluffy.
00:53:22.000 Fluffy cats come out of the litter box with an eco-disaster hanging off their asshole.
00:53:27.000 They can't clean it.
00:53:28.000 It's not supposed to exist in nature.
00:53:30.000 You're never supposed to have an asshole with all these feathers all around it that can catch shit.
00:53:35.000 What do you got there, Jamie Forrest?
00:53:36.000 You can see the Ackley, or however you say his last name, Hall of African Mammals in the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan's Upper West Side.
00:53:45.000 So what was he?
00:53:46.000 Was he a hunter?
00:53:46.000 He was like some sort of conservationist hunter back in the time of like Roosevelt.
00:53:51.000 I'm looking through this article.
00:53:52.000 There's another guy.
00:53:53.000 It seems like he was head-to-head with sort of like a Tesla Edison thing.
00:53:56.000 There's a guy named Ward.
00:53:58.000 So they were going around searching and hunting for animals and finding new species of things and different in the Congo.
00:54:04.000 Wow.
00:54:04.000 All sorts of different places like that.
00:54:06.000 I was watching this program on Buffalo.
00:54:09.000 Um...
00:54:10.000 Last night.
00:54:11.000 And they were talking about how the buffalo were decimated and how they were shipping these truckloads or trains, you know, train carriages filled with buffalo meat back to the East Coast.
00:54:24.000 Buffalo meat became high in demand.
00:54:25.000 And then buffalo hides were high in demand.
00:54:28.000 And they were showing in this thing that I was watching stacks of skins.
00:54:35.000 Just stacks of skins and of skulls.
00:54:38.000 And you just look at it like, what?
00:54:40.000 What the fuck?
00:54:40.000 How did you do this?
00:54:42.000 How did you guys not think that this was a terrible idea?
00:54:45.000 Look at that.
00:54:46.000 Look at those stacks of skulls. 0.62
00:54:48.000 There's the stacks that go all the way up to the top of that railroad cart.
00:54:51.000 I mean, that's fucking bananas.
00:54:54.000 Stacks of skins.
00:54:55.000 Look at these skins. 0.97
00:54:56.000 I mean, they were just wiping out hundreds of thousands of them.
00:55:02.000 Like, how many did they wipe out a year?
00:55:03.000 Because you gotta assume, like, that stuff has probably recently come off the animal...
00:55:10.000 That says it's 40,000 buffalo hides right there.
00:55:12.000 Oh my god.
00:55:14.000 It's so crazy what they did.
00:55:17.000 I've got to get this guy on the podcast.
00:55:19.000 His name is Dan Flores.
00:55:20.000 And I found out about him from Steve Rinella.
00:55:21.000 And he has a very interesting hypothesis.
00:55:24.000 Well, he's a scientist.
00:55:26.000 And a historian, I believe, as well.
00:55:29.000 So he has...
00:55:30.000 Maybe not a scientist.
00:55:32.000 Either way...
00:55:33.000 His take on what happened with the buffalo is essentially, I might butcher this, but that when the first Europeans came to North America, they didn't find evidence of buffalo.
00:55:45.000 They talked about everything else.
00:55:47.000 They talked about bear.
00:55:48.000 They talked about deer.
00:55:49.000 They talked about elk.
00:55:50.000 They talked about all these different animals that we know exist here, but they didn't really talk about buffalo.
00:55:55.000 He believes with the sheer numbers of buffalo that existed 100 years later, it seems highly improbable that they wouldn't talk about them.
00:56:05.000 And his take is that what happened was when Europeans started showing up in America, they brought with them a lot of diseases. 0.99
00:56:13.000 And those diseases that they gave these people, first of all, there's a common myth, apparently, that they gave them syphilis in the form of scabs in blankets.
00:56:25.000 They put scabs in blankets and gave them to the Native Americans. 0.99
00:56:28.000 As far as I know, that's not true.
00:56:32.000 Not only that, they didn't know about bacteria then.
00:56:36.000 They didn't know that that's how it was spread.
00:56:39.000 They didn't know that you would give someone a scab and that the actual tissue from the scab would cause the disease.
00:56:45.000 The knowledge of how diseases were spread was not that sophisticated back then.
00:56:49.000 As far as what I read, But what he's saying is that when the Europeans came here and they introduced these new diseases that they had, that the natives didn't have any immune systems for, it fucking devastated the population.
00:57:02.000 And he said that that is responsible for as many deaths as anything else to the Native Americans that lived here.
00:57:08.000 Fucking completely wiped out by European diseases.
00:57:12.000 When that happened, the Native Americans were responsible for keeping the buffalo populations in check and had been doing so pretty efficiently ever since that the horse was brought to North America. 0.99
00:57:24.000 Because before the Europeans came here, Native Americans didn't have horses.
00:57:29.000 They were not horses.
00:57:30.000 So, the horses that, you know, we depict the Wild West, the Native Americans riding around the horse, how they've always been, no. 1.00
00:57:37.000 No, they were always like, you know, like really nomadic people that live in Brazil or something like that, in the rainforest or Ecuador or something like that.
00:57:45.000 They weren't on horses.
00:57:47.000 So they got the horses from the North Americans, but they also got the diseases.
00:57:51.000 And while they had the horses, they were on the way to, in his words, extirpating the buffalo from their domain, which means local extinction.
00:58:01.000 So they were already doing such an efficient job of killing the buffalo from horses.
00:58:05.000 Because they'd run up on horses and just fucking arrow the shit out of these buffalo.
00:58:09.000 And they were ruthlessly effective.
00:58:11.000 Because they were on a horse.
00:58:12.000 So they could get that horse right up with the buffalo.
00:58:14.000 Because a buffalo's full clip is about 40 miles an hour.
00:58:17.000 But a horse can run about 50-60.
00:58:19.000 You know?
00:58:20.000 And especially like a really strong horse.
00:58:23.000 So these guys would just run up on these fucking herds of buffalo and blast them with arrows and kill them.
00:58:28.000 And then they got guns.
00:58:30.000 And once they got guns, good googly moogly, between horses and rifles, I mean, they were fucking these buffalo up. 0.94
00:58:36.000 So what happened was they got almost wiped out and the buffalo came back strong.
00:58:42.000 So when they saw these millions of buffalo out on these prairies, that was an overabundance.
00:58:49.000 That was a rare cycle in time that corresponded with the death of the Native Americans.
00:58:54.000 And this is his paper that he wrote.
00:58:58.000 Buffalo Ecology, I think, something Buffalo Ecology.
00:59:01.000 His name is Dan Flores.
00:59:03.000 See if we can find it.
00:59:04.000 I think it's one of those university papers, though, that you probably have to have a...
00:59:09.000 It's like one of those things that that kid got in trouble for releasing for free.
00:59:14.000 Remember that kid that wound up killing himself?
00:59:16.000 Yeah.
00:59:16.000 There's a PDF that you can get.
00:59:18.000 Oh, there's a PDF. What does it say?
00:59:20.000 Bison ecology and bison diplomacy, that's it.
00:59:23.000 The southern plains from 1800 to 1850. Really, really interesting stuff.
00:59:29.000 Because, you know, we're finding out more and more about the history of this country, obviously, because we still have Columbus Day.
00:59:35.000 I mean, the fact that we still have a day named after a guy who didn't even get here.
00:59:39.000 You know, he landed in the West Indies, right?
00:59:41.000 Isn't that where he landed?
00:59:42.000 The Bahamas or some shit?
00:59:44.000 What other things do you think are on the way out?
00:59:45.000 Columbus Day is definitely on the way out.
00:59:47.000 He should have been out a long time ago.
00:59:48.000 He's a murderer.
00:59:49.000 What else?
00:59:50.000 Columbus is a mass murderer.
00:59:52.000 If you go to the...
00:59:54.000 There was a missionary or someone that was there at the time of Columbus that detailed the horrors of what they did to the Native American people that they found to try to get these people to give them gold.
01:00:05.000 I mean, the fucking horrors.
01:00:07.000 They would cut off body parts. 1.00
01:00:09.000 And send these people out.
01:00:11.000 They would cut their arms off if they didn't bring back a certain amount of weight in gold.
01:00:15.000 They would smash babies on the rocks.
01:00:17.000 They would take their children from them and smash them in the rocks.
01:00:20.000 We're talking about boats filled with serial killers.
01:00:24.000 And we have a holiday where kids get off school for a guy who ran a boat of serial killers that came across the ocean and just...
01:00:34.000 Laid waste to everybody in front of him.
01:00:36.000 I'm from a city that's named after him, Columbus.
01:00:39.000 We even have his boat, like a recreation of his boat in Columbus, Ohio.
01:00:44.000 That's fucking crazy, man.
01:00:45.000 Where's that lighter, brother?
01:00:46.000 He's got it over there.
01:00:48.000 You need to spark that back up.
01:00:50.000 Yeah, I'm high as fuck off this.
01:00:52.000 I think.
01:00:53.000 The weed helps.
01:00:55.000 But, um, I don't know how we got on this.
01:00:58.000 Bisons, I was watching Buffalo, blah, blah, blah.
01:01:00.000 We were talking about dicks, and it just went from rhinos to other...
01:01:03.000 Oh, yeah.
01:01:05.000 That dude that I posted yesterday was at CJW underscore photography, that guy's Instagram page.
01:01:11.000 He got a hold of me, and he's making that wolf.
01:01:14.000 The wolf with the snow?
01:01:16.000 He's going to put that on a steel plate and send it to us, and we're going to put it up here.
01:01:20.000 Metal prints are badass.
01:01:22.000 Yeah.
01:01:22.000 And that was like one of the most dope nature photographs ever.
01:01:25.000 Have you seen it, Brian?
01:01:26.000 Yeah.
01:01:26.000 Pull it up.
01:01:27.000 It's on my Instagram page is the one specific.
01:01:30.000 It's got this wolf and his face is covered in snow.
01:01:33.000 And he's looking at you.
01:01:35.000 Not the one that we showed John Dudley.
01:01:36.000 My friend John was on here yesterday, dude.
01:01:38.000 He fought a pack of wolves off that was trying to take his elk.
01:01:42.000 Whoa.
01:01:43.000 Yeah, whoa.
01:01:44.000 Like barefoot?
01:01:44.000 No, two guides, two barefoot.
01:01:47.000 Did he use only his asshole?
01:01:49.000 Was his feet clean?
01:01:50.000 How was his feet?
01:01:51.000 He was in Alberta.
01:01:53.000 He shot an elk.
01:01:55.000 And these wolves started circling and they ran in and they were trying to scare him off the elk.
01:01:59.000 And he shot one.
01:02:00.000 And then the other wolves showed up and they started howling and circling them.
01:02:03.000 Look at that fucking picture.
01:02:06.000 How dope is that picture?
01:02:08.000 Goddamn.
01:02:10.000 He's going to come to one of the shows at the Fillmore in San Francisco.
01:02:14.000 And I want to talk to him and find out how he took this and where was he.
01:02:18.000 It's got to be crazy.
01:02:18.000 It's got to take lots of hours of sitting and waiting and camping and being really cold.
01:02:23.000 Yeah, and to get this perfect shot.
01:02:25.000 God, what a cool animal.
01:02:27.000 I bet he's got some crazy stories of getting them and just being surrounded by wolves and whatnot.
01:02:32.000 He's got a lot of cool pictures.
01:02:34.000 Yeah, you got to be a bold motherfucker to get that photo.
01:02:39.000 I mean, because you can only be so far away, right?
01:02:41.000 Yeah, your lenses can only take you so close.
01:02:43.000 Like, how close would you be able to...
01:02:45.000 Like, that's so high def.
01:02:47.000 It could be cropped, so it could be a little bit off, but it's such a really close picture.
01:02:50.000 I bet he had a really good, like, 400 to 600 lens, so...
01:02:53.000 Oh, my God.
01:02:54.000 Maybe 50 to 100 yards at the...
01:02:56.000 Or he's at his zoo.
01:02:57.000 100 yards, yeah, at the furthest.
01:02:59.000 I doubt it, I doubt it, but, like, 50 yards, maybe.
01:03:01.000 Yeah, it's hard.
01:03:02.000 I would imagine he'd be closer than that, right?
01:03:04.000 He's cropped in on it, too, so I don't know.
01:03:04.000 He's got to be crazy.
01:03:06.000 It depends what camera you used to.
01:03:08.000 If you go to his Instagram, there's a picture of that wolf with another wolf there.
01:03:14.000 Oh, look at that.
01:03:15.000 That's sweet.
01:03:15.000 Yeah, he's got a bunch of dope shit.
01:03:16.000 Is that a bobcat?
01:03:17.000 Yeah, that's a bobcat, I think, or a lynx.
01:03:19.000 One of those.
01:03:20.000 That's sweet.
01:03:21.000 Look at those mountain lions he's got, too.
01:03:22.000 Look at that one licking his lips.
01:03:23.000 It's a Gene Simmons mountain lion.
01:03:25.000 Lick it up! 1.00
01:03:28.000 What do you think about Gene Simmons and that whole controversy about him calling out N.W.A., saying they shouldn't be allowed in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because it's not rock and roll?
01:03:40.000 Well, Kiss wasn't in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame forever.
01:03:43.000 So if I was him, I'd be like, fuck the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
01:03:45.000 The Rock and Roll of Fame is more of like a pop music, popular music Hall of Fame.
01:03:49.000 Scroll that shit down.
01:03:50.000 Let me see that wolf. 0.98
01:03:53.000 The Beastie Boys are kind of rock, though, if you listen to Paul's Boutique.
01:03:58.000 That's it?
01:03:58.000 We'll scroll up then.
01:03:59.000 Paul's Boutique, dude, is a rock and roll album.
01:04:03.000 I mean, I don't know.
01:04:04.000 How is that it?
01:04:05.000 I don't know.
01:04:06.000 Maybe he's got another page?
01:04:07.000 No, man.
01:04:07.000 That's it.
01:04:09.000 Are you sure?
01:04:10.000 Yeah, he's got 353 posts.
01:04:12.000 Yeah, that's not it, Jamie.
01:04:13.000 No, it's just not refreshing.
01:04:16.000 Just refresh it.
01:04:17.000 Oh, there it goes.
01:04:19.000 Oh, look at that raccoon. 1.00
01:04:20.000 That's great.
01:04:21.000 Raccoons are nuts.
01:04:22.000 Damn, he's got great photos.
01:04:23.000 Oh, amazing, man.
01:04:24.000 No, that's not it, Jamie.
01:04:26.000 There's one scroll down.
01:04:27.000 It's the exact same pose of that wolf, but he's with another wolf.
01:04:31.000 Oh, there it goes.
01:04:32.000 It's weird how it loads, right?
01:04:37.000 Goddamn Instagram.
01:04:38.000 You know what it is?
01:04:38.000 They went up to 60-second videos, and their shit's getting hammered.
01:04:41.000 Yeah.
01:04:42.000 Hammer time.
01:04:44.000 There's another thing that I posted.
01:04:46.000 There it is, right there.
01:04:47.000 There's another thing that I posted that is that exact same wolf, but with another wolf next to him.
01:04:52.000 That might even be more badass!
01:04:53.000 Jesus fucking Christ!
01:04:54.000 No, that's way better.
01:04:56.000 Oh my God!
01:04:57.000 It's like the wolf's telling him, like, let's go kill that photographer guy.
01:04:59.000 Yeah, hey dude, if you're listening, scratch that.
01:05:02.000 Make me one of these.
01:05:05.000 Make me the double wolf.
01:05:06.000 Fuck, that's amazing.
01:05:08.000 Goddamn, that's crazy.
01:05:11.000 Holy shit, what a picture.
01:05:13.000 That guy deserves like an award for that picture.
01:05:15.000 Like that might be...
01:05:17.000 I'm gonna say it is.
01:05:18.000 That's the coolest wildlife photograph I've ever seen.
01:05:21.000 Wow.
01:05:24.000 Because, yeah, well, it's undeniably cool.
01:05:26.000 The photo looks so rare.
01:05:28.000 I mean, how do you get a wolf with all that snow all over his face like that?
01:05:32.000 What are the odds you're going to capture that?
01:05:33.000 And then another one, the same size, right next to him.
01:05:36.000 Maybe his wife. 0.89
01:05:38.000 Maybe the wolf's on the left that's the wife. 1.00
01:05:39.000 Who's the wife? 1.00
01:05:40.000 The wife's on the right because it looks like she's bitching. 1.00
01:05:42.000 She's bitching at him. 1.00
01:05:43.000 You motherfucker, you only killed five elk.
01:05:46.000 You're so fucking lazy.
01:05:47.000 When you were young, when you first met me, you did so much to impress me.
01:05:52.000 The guy's an animal to get out there.
01:05:55.000 Chris Fontano Jr. Yeah, Chris, you're a fucking animal.
01:05:58.000 Just to...
01:05:59.000 I mean...
01:06:00.000 That's a Timberwolf.
01:06:01.000 Yeah, man.
01:06:02.000 I think that's in Yellowstone.
01:06:04.000 Jesus.
01:06:04.000 They have a lot of them in Yellowstone.
01:06:06.000 It's crazy.
01:06:08.000 There's a cool video that I posted or a photo I posted today from National Geographic.
01:06:13.000 The National Geographic Instagram page is another one I'm fucking completely addicted to.
01:06:17.000 Every other day they have some just, whoa, photo.
01:06:20.000 Well, you look and you go, fuck!
01:06:22.000 God damn it!
01:06:24.000 Today was these two bears that were duking it out in Yellowstone.
01:06:29.000 Look at the size of these fucking beasts.
01:06:34.000 Look at the claws on him. 0.92
01:06:36.000 The claws that are on that one's back as they're fighting.
01:06:39.000 These two giant ass fucking grizzlies are going at it and one of them has Wolverine style razor blades coming out of his front arm. 0.99
01:06:48.000 Fuck man.
01:06:50.000 Another John Dudley story, John who was here yesterday, he saw a bear kill a moose.
01:06:56.000 He was there when a grizzly swatted a moose in the back and broke its back.
01:07:02.000 He said the bear was chasing the moose.
01:07:05.000 They got into conflict.
01:07:07.000 The bear got on top of him and swatted his back and broke it.
01:07:12.000 He said he broke his back with one swipe.
01:07:17.000 He also talked about this cabin that they had in the woods where this bear broke into the cabin, pulled the wall apart, pulled the door frame and the door off the wall with these nine-inch spike nails all around it.
01:07:28.000 Then there was a stove inside that smelled like food.
01:07:31.000 He crushed the stove to the ground like you would stomp on a soda can just to ooze out whatever fat and grease was inside the stove.
01:07:41.000 Fuck bears, man.
01:07:43.000 Fuck that.
01:07:44.000 It's so crazy that we want more of those.
01:07:46.000 We're like, we need to save those.
01:07:48.000 We need them everywhere.
01:07:49.000 And the wolves, too.
01:07:49.000 We're like, oh, no, they're so awesome.
01:07:52.000 That thing's a killing machine looking right through your eyes.
01:07:55.000 It's cool that they exist, though.
01:07:57.000 You know, I mean, it would be kind of cool if dinosaurs were still here, too.
01:08:00.000 If there was, like, a real Jurassic Island.
01:08:03.000 That would suck.
01:08:05.000 Come on, man.
01:08:06.000 As long as you didn't have to go there.
01:08:07.000 If it was, like, an island.
01:08:08.000 Like, New Zealand.
01:08:10.000 Yeah.
01:08:11.000 Some mile in the middle past Hawaii at Guam.
01:08:13.000 Yeah, well, New Zealand's huge.
01:08:15.000 Probably not New Zealand.
01:08:16.000 We don't want to do that to those people.
01:08:17.000 Too much.
01:08:17.000 They could get too big.
01:08:19.000 Well, they don't have...
01:08:20.000 New Zealand has a crazy wildlife situation.
01:08:22.000 Because New Zealand is a fairly recent continent or island, as far as I know.
01:08:27.000 As far as the volcanic activity of the earth.
01:08:30.000 And there wasn't a lot of land masses connecting it to other places.
01:08:34.000 So they have some indigenous wildlife, like a bunch of weird animals and shit. 1.00
01:08:38.000 But they also have a lot of stuff that is non-native that was brought in.
01:08:43.000 Like all these hunting animals.
01:08:45.000 These really rich dudes a long time ago basically turned New Zealand into a hunting preserve.
01:08:52.000 And they just let these stags loose. 1.00
01:08:54.000 These European deer.
01:08:56.000 These red deer and stags.
01:08:58.000 Stags is like a European form of elk.
01:09:02.000 And they let all these things loose all throughout New Zealand, but they don't have any mountain lions, they don't have any bobcats, they don't have wolves, they don't have coyotes, they don't have anything that kills these things.
01:09:11.000 So they have to send people out there to kill them.
01:09:14.000 Like, people are just killing them constantly.
01:09:15.000 And when some of the populations of some of the animals get too high, they have to fly over them and fucking gun them down from the sky.
01:09:22.000 They're having this problem right now with Cat Island, which is that island of cats off of Japan.
01:09:26.000 I've heard of that.
01:09:27.000 And they're inbreeding like crazy.
01:09:29.000 It's scary.
01:09:30.000 All these cats, like thousands and thousands of cats just live on this island.
01:09:33.000 It must smell like shit, by the way.
01:09:35.000 Yeah, it probably smells like ammonia piss.
01:09:37.000 You know, did you see what's going on with Fukushima?
01:09:41.000 Fukushima has a problem with radioactive wild boars.
01:09:46.000 There's like hundreds of radioactive wild boars that have taken over that area because you know the people aren't really there anymore and They're running rampant and they have a problem with them.
01:09:56.000 They don't know what to do.
01:09:57.000 They have radioactive wild pigs Look at this fucking thing Thousands of oh I said hundreds thousands of radioactive boars are overrunning farmland in Fukushima But look at the photos of them.
01:10:09.000 They have some photos of these fucking boars and Um, maybe a different article.
01:10:14.000 Yeah, there's a good one.
01:10:15.000 That might be stock footage, though.
01:10:16.000 Yeah, wild boar stock.
01:10:17.000 See, I'm a fucking internet wizard, dude.
01:10:19.000 I know things.
01:10:21.000 It's probably all the photos are probably stock.
01:10:23.000 But there was one video of this guy who had, like, a radioactive suit on, like he was some sort of a scientist, and these boars were chasing him.
01:10:32.000 Yeah, they all look stock.
01:10:33.000 But whatever.
01:10:34.000 Yeah, who the fuck's gonna go there to take those pictures?
01:10:37.000 What is this?
01:10:39.000 Other radioactive dudes.
01:10:41.000 Are those the boar themselves?
01:10:44.000 They have a real problem if those things start turning into, like, some comic book superhero type character powers.
01:10:52.000 I mean, if these things are radioactive, like, what if they start morphing?
01:10:57.000 What if they become super smart?
01:10:59.000 Because we already know that boars are smart.
01:11:01.000 Like, pigs are supposed to be smarter than dogs, right?
01:11:03.000 Oh, there they are.
01:11:04.000 This is the real ones.
01:11:06.000 Oh, shit.
01:11:06.000 Running down the street.
01:11:09.000 Lots of them.
01:11:11.000 Slamming into the fucking fence trying to get out of this cage that they caught him in.
01:11:15.000 Good luck.
01:11:16.000 Good luck, Japan.
01:11:17.000 They have, by the way, that thing is still leaking thousands of gallons of radioactive shit into the water every day.
01:11:25.000 Isn't California, we still have that gas leak up in Simi Valley or wherever that is.
01:11:29.000 They sealed it.
01:11:29.000 Did they?
01:11:29.000 Yeah, they sealed that a long time ago.
01:11:31.000 But that was bad.
01:11:32.000 They said it was like every car in the United States, the emissions from every car in the United States in one day.
01:11:38.000 Wow.
01:11:38.000 I might have made that number up.
01:11:41.000 Just FYI. FYI. Powerful Death Squad cup.
01:11:44.000 I like this one, man.
01:11:45.000 Yeah.
01:11:46.000 That I'm drinking out of.
01:11:46.000 Yeah.
01:11:47.000 It's available right now at DeathSquad.tv.
01:11:50.000 Brian Redband Creations.
01:11:51.000 Yeah, that's fun stuff.
01:11:56.000 Remember when we used to talk about that radioactive up there?
01:12:00.000 It's funny because I met these triplets the other day that grew up there.
01:12:05.000 What do you think the odds are that they're triplets because they grew up near that radioactive?
01:12:10.000 What makes triplets? 0.99
01:12:11.000 It's a real good question.
01:12:13.000 I think whores. 1.00
01:12:15.000 Only whores. 1.00
01:12:16.000 You just have to love dick so much that you take in so much cum that this cum just rushes and no one egg wins. 0.79
01:12:24.000 Yeah.
01:12:25.000 Maybe a dude who's just got a lot of cum.
01:12:27.000 Maybe that's what makes it.
01:12:28.000 Maybe super aggressive cum. 0.74
01:12:30.000 I know two people that have triplets my age, but I think nowadays it's probably more for like, they might be using fertility things.
01:12:36.000 Fertility.
01:12:36.000 Like an accident, they had three and they only wanted to have one or something.
01:12:39.000 That definitely happens.
01:12:40.000 That happens with older ladies. 1.00
01:12:41.000 That's like John and Kate plus eight.
01:12:43.000 Remember that chick had like seven fucking babies inside of her? 1.00
01:12:46.000 No, eight inside of her and then two additionally.
01:12:49.000 They had two first, then they decided they wanted more.
01:12:52.000 And so they filled themselves up with babies.
01:12:54.000 And remember that show?
01:12:56.000 Boy, that was an interesting show.
01:12:58.000 Because that was a show that kind of showed how much pressure the average person gets under when you're under the microscope.
01:13:08.000 Like people that behave like totally normal.
01:13:10.000 They think their behavior is totally normal.
01:13:12.000 But then all of a sudden they're under the microscope.
01:13:13.000 And the whole world sees that.
01:13:15.000 And then they get criticized and freaked on.
01:13:18.000 And then next thing you know, they can't handle it anymore.
01:13:20.000 And they break up.
01:13:21.000 And then John, you know, was forced to get, like, regular jobs.
01:13:24.000 They'd catch him dating women, and it was, you know, they would hound the guy.
01:13:28.000 Remember that?
01:13:29.000 Yeah.
01:13:29.000 It was really ugly.
01:13:30.000 It was real ugly.
01:13:32.000 And, you know, they're poor fucking kids, man.
01:13:35.000 Yeah.
01:13:36.000 It's just weird.
01:13:37.000 So I guess they had six.
01:13:40.000 And then they had two previous, and then they had six babies inside of her.
01:13:43.000 And that's all those fertility drugs for sure. 1.00
01:13:46.000 That's weird, man.
01:13:48.000 It's weird.
01:13:49.000 You know, because it's also weird because I'm pretty sure they were strictly religious, weren't they?
01:13:54.000 I feel like that's when it happens.
01:13:56.000 Yeah.
01:13:56.000 Well, not really, because, see, like, God says be fruitful and multiply, but he doesn't say anything about taking fertility drugs in order to make that happen.
01:14:06.000 You know, and if it's God's plan, is it all God's plan when a scientist steps in?
01:14:10.000 Is it God's plan because the scientist is here?
01:14:12.000 Did God make the scientist?
01:14:14.000 You know, where do you draw the line as far as like what God wants?
01:14:17.000 Because if that's true, someone invented abortion.
01:14:20.000 Was it God's plan to make abortion?
01:14:22.000 Is God's plan for everything?
01:14:23.000 I know multiple families where I'm from because of a Catholic family raised over 10 kids.
01:14:28.000 I know at least three families that have 10, 12 kids.
01:14:30.000 Again, whores. 1.00
01:14:32.000 Whores. 1.00
01:14:32.000 Was it fertility pills or no? 1.00
01:14:34.000 No, it's just like they almost had one every year.
01:14:37.000 They just like to fuck. 1.00
01:14:38.000 Yeah, it's constant.
01:14:39.000 Pull out this time.
01:14:40.000 Fuck you.
01:14:41.000 One's all boys, one's all girls. 0.98
01:14:43.000 Take the kid. 0.99
01:14:44.000 Ten of them?
01:14:45.000 Yeah.
01:14:46.000 Ten girls? 0.87
01:14:46.000 Yeah, all blonde girls. 0.87
01:14:48.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
01:14:48.000 Wow.
01:14:49.000 A lot of fucking going on.
01:14:51.000 Ten kids.
01:14:52.000 You know when you die, how you shit yourself and all the piss and everything comes out?
01:14:56.000 If you have any in you.
01:14:57.000 Right.
01:14:58.000 Well, I mean, sure, there's something in there, right?
01:14:59.000 It's like having anal sex where the girl likes to do meth. 1.00
01:15:02.000 Eddie Bravo always said that's the way to go because they don't eat.
01:15:05.000 Ah.
01:15:06.000 Brian just, a light bulb went off above his head, literally.
01:15:10.000 They don't eat and their apartments are squeaky clean.
01:15:12.000 All they do is clean their apartments.
01:15:14.000 I was just thinking how realistic would it be, you know, like Jesus on the cross, if it was realistic, if it was just shit and piss everywhere on the bottom of the cross.
01:15:22.000 Yeah, there'd probably definitely be some, I would imagine, if they fed him before they strung him up there.
01:15:28.000 It's interesting, too, because they always show the crucifixion marks through the hands, but apparently that's not capable of supporting your body.
01:15:36.000 They go through the wrist.
01:15:37.000 Yeah, you would have fallen off.
01:15:38.000 Yeah.
01:15:39.000 Well, that makes sense, because that's how you hang a deer.
01:15:42.000 You go through the ligament behind the knee, and you put like a stick through it, and you can hang him from that.
01:15:46.000 There's also some kind of suffocation.
01:15:47.000 The way it would have hung his body, he would have suffocated in a couple hours instead of days.
01:15:51.000 Because the way the body...
01:15:53.000 Yeah, the way your body would have hung the weight on your diaphragm or something like that.
01:15:56.000 I was too much in Catholic religion class to have all this stuff explained, and now I've learned extra stuff.
01:16:02.000 There was a story that Daniele Bolelli...
01:16:07.000 Of History on Fire.
01:16:08.000 He's got an awesome podcast, History on Fire.
01:16:10.000 In the opening podcast, he has a pilot, like episode 00, and then he has episode 1. And in episode 1, he tells a story that he told on this podcast about this...
01:16:22.000 I believe it was the Romans had hung up... 0.95
01:16:28.000 Some insane, like a hundred miles of bodies?
01:16:31.000 Something crazy like that?
01:16:32.000 Like, what was the actual number?
01:16:34.000 I remember you saying that right now.
01:16:36.000 Him saying, yeah.
01:16:37.000 The whole marching, the whole pathway, the whole road to wherever it was, a hundred miles or whatever the fuck it was, was just like every...
01:16:44.000 X amount of meters, they had a body that was crucified.
01:16:48.000 Just all along the road.
01:16:51.000 Like, that was how people used to roll back then.
01:16:54.000 They used to scare the shit out of people.
01:16:56.000 There was no, like, hiding the photos of the caskets.
01:16:59.000 No, they hung people on sticks, stuffed them into the ground.
01:17:04.000 Spartacus Road, 6000. Spartacus.
01:17:07.000 6000. Maybe.
01:17:08.000 I think it's the same thing.
01:17:09.000 God.
01:17:10.000 They crucified 6,000 people.
01:17:13.000 Jesus Christ.
01:17:14.000 People were brutal back then.
01:17:17.000 I mean, I guess they're brutal today.
01:17:20.000 There was an article that I tweeted earlier today, or retweeted, that...
01:17:25.000 What is her name?
01:17:27.000 Jen Briney? 1.00
01:17:28.000 How do you say her last name?
01:17:31.000 She's the one who has that political podcast.
01:17:34.000 It's supposed to be good.
01:17:35.000 What is her name?
01:17:38.000 But anyway, the article is about a guy.
01:17:40.000 She retweeted something from, I think it was from The Guardian, where a guy wrote what it feels like to be on the drone kill list, and that he made his way into Europe specifically because he was worried that they were going to kill him with a drone, and that he used to hide and sleep under trees so that his family,
01:17:59.000 Jen Briney, How do you spell it?
01:18:01.000 B-R-I-N-E-Y? That this guy would sleep under trees. 0.99
01:18:06.000 It was in The Independent.
01:18:08.000 Sleep under trees to protect his family because no one wanted to be near him.
01:18:12.000 Because he was on the fucking kill list for drones.
01:18:15.000 Wow.
01:18:16.000 You see the drone with the chainsaw?
01:18:19.000 That's scary.
01:18:20.000 They made a drone that has a chain stall attached to it.
01:18:24.000 Like Doom?
01:18:25.000 Yeah.
01:18:26.000 Did you see the Doom video?
01:18:27.000 I actually haven't seen it, but I saw the billboard on Sunset.
01:18:30.000 It's a movie or is it a video game?
01:18:31.000 It's a video, but the video looks insane, but the Doom billboard makes me want to play Doom.
01:18:38.000 What is this?
01:18:39.000 A flying chainsaw?
01:18:40.000 This is the flying chainsaw drone.
01:18:41.000 They attach a chainsaw to the bottom of a drone, turn it on, and destroy...
01:18:46.000 I think this is the video where they destroy a snowman.
01:18:50.000 But how scary is that?
01:18:52.000 It's a matter of time before we have to go to war with drones.
01:18:56.000 Right?
01:18:56.000 Yeah.
01:18:58.000 Oh my god, this is hilarious.
01:19:00.000 They're just flying over and jacking Snowman in the head, cutting off icicles.
01:19:06.000 There's a new drone that just got released that's really popular that's doing some cool things.
01:19:09.000 It's like a DJI Phantom something, Phantom 4. It can follow you.
01:19:13.000 You just tap the screen and it'll follow you around.
01:19:17.000 Do you have to register drones?
01:19:18.000 Yeah, you have to register them with the FAA now.
01:19:20.000 Now you do?
01:19:21.000 All of them, yeah.
01:19:21.000 As of this year, I believe.
01:19:22.000 Oh, wow.
01:19:23.000 That's good.
01:19:24.000 But all those programs, they have things built into them.
01:19:26.000 They won't even let you fly into non-fly zones.
01:19:30.000 This thing's cutting limbs off trees. 0.98
01:19:32.000 And they have another drone flying around taking video of it, which is hilarious.
01:19:37.000 What a weird world we're living in today, man.
01:19:40.000 I thought about getting one just to try it.
01:19:42.000 You totally should have one.
01:19:43.000 It seems right up your alley.
01:19:44.000 Yeah.
01:19:45.000 Pull up the drone.
01:19:46.000 I mean, not the drone.
01:19:47.000 The Doom footage.
01:19:48.000 Show Brian the Doom.
01:19:48.000 Go full screen, please.
01:19:50.000 And don't play a shit until it's ready.
01:19:53.000 Yeah, dude, wait till you see this.
01:19:55.000 The multiplayer looks so badass.
01:19:57.000 It's like Quake 3 on crack.
01:19:59.000 I shouldn't say that.
01:20:00.000 On steroids?
01:20:01.000 From hell?
01:20:02.000 You know, those hack sayings.
01:20:04.000 On crack.
01:20:06.000 From hell.
01:20:06.000 Watch this.
01:20:07.000 Look at this.
01:20:09.000 Look at the graphics, first of all.
01:20:19.000 How wild does this look?
01:20:21.000 This reminds me of Atelier Quick, right?
01:20:23.000 Totally!
01:20:24.000 Well, it's id Software.
01:20:25.000 It's the same guys.
01:20:26.000 Oh, this looks so fun!
01:20:28.000 Alright, should we, Brian?
01:20:30.000 Should we get a LAN party in here?
01:20:32.000 Fuck yeah! 0.99
01:20:33.000 Should we?
01:20:35.000 Yeah.
01:20:35.000 Wow, okay.
01:20:36.000 What is the company that...
01:20:37.000 Oh my god!
01:20:38.000 What is the company that we should buy our PCs from?
01:20:42.000 A couple of that we should get them.
01:20:43.000 Falcon or Alienware?
01:20:44.000 We should get Alienware because Alienware used to sponsor us.
01:20:46.000 So just out of loyalty and respect, we should get Alienware.
01:20:51.000 So we should contact Alienware and let them know we're going to set up a fucking LAN party up in this bitch. 1.00
01:20:56.000 Oh, Joe, you're going deep on this, I can tell you.
01:20:57.000 Well, we'll have some fun.
01:20:59.000 What I want to do, though, Brian, is you and me do this and we'll go on Twitch.
01:21:04.000 Oh, yeah.
01:21:05.000 Yeah.
01:21:06.000 We just gotta be really PC. Fuck you.
01:21:09.000 Suck it. 0.99
01:21:10.000 That shit ain't happening.
01:21:11.000 What are you talking about?
01:21:12.000 You know you can't even take off your shirt as a guy on Twitch or you'll get banned?
01:21:16.000 Everybody that's on Twitch should keep their fucking shirt on.
01:21:19.000 How about that?
01:21:20.000 Except Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson and I think John Dodson's on Twitch too.
01:21:25.000 Rampage is on Twitch?
01:21:26.000 Yeah, all those guys can take their shirt off.
01:21:27.000 Everybody else, keep your fucking disgusting man boobs away from my screen. 1.00
01:21:32.000 You haven't seen these.
01:21:33.000 I have.
01:21:34.000 What are you talking about?
01:21:38.000 Who are you lying to?
01:21:39.000 Don't lie to me.
01:21:41.000 So Alienware, if you're listening, hook us up.
01:21:43.000 Or Falcon Northwest, if you want to bring us over.
01:21:46.000 Yeah.
01:21:46.000 I like Alienware, man.
01:21:47.000 I have that old laptop that they gave us back in the day, and I turned it on the other day.
01:21:51.000 I'm pretty sure they both sponsored fighters.
01:21:54.000 I'm pretty sure.
01:21:55.000 Did they?
01:21:56.000 Pretty sure, yeah.
01:21:56.000 Yeah, so I'm down with all, but loyalty to Alienware for two reasons.
01:22:01.000 One, because we used to use them.
01:22:03.000 I used to run the podcast, my version of it, you know, when I used to...
01:22:07.000 Research stuff.
01:22:08.000 That was all from the Alienware back then.
01:22:10.000 That was cool.
01:22:11.000 I liked it.
01:22:12.000 It was a big-ass fucking screen.
01:22:13.000 Who did I give that to?
01:22:15.000 I remember you telling me you gave it to somebody.
01:22:17.000 Somebody who plays games.
01:22:19.000 I think your trainer, didn't you?
01:22:21.000 Did you give it to Justin?
01:22:21.000 Was it Justin?
01:22:22.000 Probably was Justin.
01:22:23.000 I think he sold it.
01:22:25.000 They make badass laptops though.
01:22:26.000 I like how the ones that we had, you could change all the colors of the keyboard so like half of it's purple, half of it's blue.
01:22:32.000 Dude, I'm infatuated with the Lenovo ThinkPads.
01:22:35.000 I read this review of a Lenovo ThinkPad.
01:22:37.000 It has 15 hours of battery life.
01:22:40.000 It's supposed to have the most tactile-feeling keyboard.
01:22:44.000 Like, this guy did a review of it, and he said that the keyboard itself...
01:22:48.000 I saved it.
01:22:49.000 Hold on a second.
01:22:50.000 He said that the keyboard itself was so good that it actually upped his words per minute faster than his average was, which I was like, what?
01:22:59.000 How is that even possible?
01:23:02.000 Yeah, but that seems like bullshit.
01:23:04.000 Who does that?
01:23:04.000 Well, you always say that, man.
01:23:06.000 Lenovo ThinkPad T50 Review, and it's on Laptop Magazine.
01:23:13.000 I would do it except for having to deal with Windows.
01:23:16.000 Laptopmag.com.
01:23:17.000 Yeah, but I mean, have you tried the newest Windows?
01:23:19.000 Like, what is Windows...
01:23:21.000 What are we on now?
01:23:22.000 Windows 10?
01:23:23.000 For real?
01:23:24.000 That's hilarious.
01:23:25.000 But the keyboard is supposed to be amazing, and the battery life is supposed to be crazy.
01:23:30.000 I'm just bored.
01:23:31.000 I just want to try something else.
01:23:33.000 I know that Apple...
01:23:34.000 And also, you can take the battery out.
01:23:36.000 You have a separate battery.
01:23:37.000 Remember when you could do that?
01:23:38.000 Yes, I like that!
01:23:39.000 I like the fact that you keep a fucking full battery with you.
01:23:42.000 It's that new cell phone that came out.
01:23:44.000 That's their kind of pitch.
01:23:45.000 I think it's LG or something.
01:23:46.000 It's got a slide-in, slide-out battery, and it comes with an extra one.
01:23:49.000 Well, my Galaxy, until the recent one, my Samsung Galaxy had that, and it was waterproof, and you could take the battery out.
01:23:56.000 It was still waterproof.
01:23:58.000 God damn it.
01:23:59.000 You used to be able to carry an extra battery.
01:24:01.000 Throw it in your laptop bag, and your laptop was running out of battery, close it, pop that bitch out, pop the new one, and you're back in action! 1.00
01:24:09.000 Fully loaded.
01:24:10.000 Well, now you have those, like, portable charger, battery chargers, and things like that, so it's kind of unnecessary.
01:24:14.000 What's really interesting is...
01:24:15.000 Are those as good?
01:24:16.000 Oh, yeah.
01:24:17.000 I have one that can charge up your iPhone, I think, two or three times.
01:24:20.000 Your iPhone.
01:24:21.000 But what about your laptop?
01:24:23.000 Laptop, I mean, they have big battery packs.
01:24:25.000 You've had one before.
01:24:26.000 I had...
01:24:26.000 When I went hunting, I brought one with me that I didn't even wind up using because I was so tired at the end.
01:24:31.000 I was like, I am going to document this like William Shakespeare.
01:24:35.000 I'm going to be like Hemingway out there in the field.
01:24:37.000 Fuck that.
01:24:38.000 At the end of the day, you've walked 14 miles up mountains.
01:24:40.000 You're exhausted.
01:24:41.000 You don't want to do shit.
01:24:43.000 You take a shit in the woods, dig a hole, go back to your tent and pass out.
01:24:48.000 But I carried it around.
01:24:49.000 It was probably at least 10 pounds.
01:24:52.000 It was huge.
01:24:53.000 But it worked.
01:24:55.000 It worked when you need it.
01:24:56.000 You don't like typing on an iPad, I'm sure.
01:24:58.000 No, fuck iPads.
01:25:00.000 I like a button, man.
01:25:01.000 I'm a tactile person.
01:25:03.000 I like to feel buttons.
01:25:05.000 It took me a long time to get used to the iPhone.
01:25:07.000 But the iPhone's benefits of touching the screen, you know, having the full screen real estate for videos and photographs and email, it's so worth it.
01:25:15.000 It's so worth it.
01:25:16.000 Because I know that BlackBerry came out with a new one with a giant-ass screen and then the thing slides out the bottom and then you have a keyboard.
01:25:25.000 No.
01:25:26.000 Enough is enough.
01:25:27.000 You can just get the iPad Pro with a keyboard, like a real keyboard.
01:25:30.000 Yeah, but you can't save files.
01:25:32.000 You can.
01:25:33.000 No, you can't.
01:25:34.000 You can't put Microsoft Word files in a folder on your desktop.
01:25:37.000 Yeah, they have Microsoft Word now.
01:25:39.000 Not on your desktop, but you can have this.
01:25:41.000 You have to put it in the cloud.
01:25:42.000 You can have the equivalent thing.
01:25:43.000 You can?
01:25:44.000 It could be close to you.
01:25:45.000 Nowadays, it's...
01:25:45.000 Close to you?
01:25:46.000 What do you mean?
01:25:46.000 No, close to that.
01:25:47.000 Oh.
01:25:48.000 Similar.
01:25:48.000 Does it go in the cloud, or is it...
01:25:51.000 It probably is saved on your iPad, I bet.
01:25:54.000 You could use like the Docs app for Google or something like that.
01:25:57.000 They have pages that's on that.
01:25:59.000 And you can save it on something.
01:26:00.000 So offline use, it's cached.
01:26:02.000 And the new four-speaker system on the iPad Pro is badass.
01:26:07.000 There's four different speakers and it detects if you're holding it.
01:26:09.000 So if you're holding it on the left side, it will make the bottom left louder.
01:26:15.000 It knows where your hands are.
01:26:17.000 The only time I would ever use that, though, is in a hotel room.
01:26:19.000 In a hotel room, I have one of those little Bluetooth speakers, those tubes.
01:26:23.000 It is so good, man.
01:26:24.000 It sounds so good.
01:26:25.000 I bring that fucker with me to green rooms now. 1.00
01:26:27.000 Because sometimes you're in a green room and you listen to some CNC Music Factory and shit.
01:26:32.000 And I'm like, come on, man.
01:26:36.000 This is not what I want to hear when I get ready for a show.
01:26:38.000 I want to hear my shit.
01:26:39.000 So I put on some cool music.
01:26:41.000 It's great, man.
01:26:42.000 It's great to have one of those little things because it's so small.
01:26:45.000 Has anyone ever asked you or have you ever thought of having your own playlist before you go on, I guess?
01:26:51.000 Oh, for the theater?
01:26:53.000 I don't want to infringe on the creative rights of the guy who's the sound guy.
01:26:58.000 But in that situation, you just said right now, you've got someone picking C&C Music Factory to warm up your crowd.
01:27:03.000 I'm totally making that part up.
01:27:04.000 But it could happen.
01:27:05.000 But no, there have been some bad fucking music.
01:27:08.000 There have been some bad music.
01:27:09.000 Wait, where the fuck did you get C&C music factors so randomly?
01:27:14.000 I think there's something really shitty from a long time ago.
01:27:18.000 That's hilarious.
01:27:19.000 I haven't thought about that in a while.
01:27:20.000 Things that make you go, hmm.
01:27:21.000 Things that make you go, hmm.
01:27:23.000 I mean, you could have a nice little, even if you just put in your warm-up or your workout playlist and just have those rock songs with a couple of hip-hop songs.
01:27:29.000 That would be good to play for 30 minutes while someone's warming up instead of...
01:27:34.000 Anything random, Love Shack or B-50 Tuesday.
01:27:37.000 Yeah, they do that a lot.
01:27:39.000 But sometimes they get good songs.
01:27:41.000 Like, there was a place we were at the other day in Santa Barbara.
01:27:46.000 We did the Arlington Theater, which was fucking awesome.
01:27:50.000 Hinchcliffe Diaz and I did this theater in Santa Barbara.
01:27:52.000 That's great.
01:27:53.000 Fucking, I love Santa Barbara.
01:27:56.000 That's my spot, dude.
01:27:58.000 That is the spot.
01:27:59.000 I don't want to talk about it anymore.
01:28:00.000 I know.
01:28:01.000 I don't want to talk anymore.
01:28:02.000 I don't want anybody to know about it.
01:28:03.000 So it's such a nice city.
01:28:04.000 You know how much land you could get out there also?
01:28:06.000 Get some land, grow some cattle!
01:28:10.000 Woo! 0.99
01:28:11.000 But anyway, my point being, they were playing some music.
01:28:15.000 I saved it on my Shazam.
01:28:17.000 And it was some sort of Spanish music.
01:28:22.000 Like some Spanish rock that I'd never heard of before and they're singing it in Spanish.
01:28:25.000 I was like, God damn, this is awesome.
01:28:27.000 Like, whatever it is, I love it.
01:28:30.000 I don't remember what it was, though.
01:28:31.000 One Direction.
01:28:33.000 No!
01:28:34.000 No!
01:28:35.000 Can I see that lighter?
01:28:35.000 Five seconds.
01:28:36.000 Spark up my cue, then.
01:28:38.000 What'd you say, Jamie?
01:28:39.000 I'll just give another shitty bit.
01:28:41.000 It's called Middle. 0.98
01:28:44.000 It says, DJ Snake featuring Bipolar Sunshine.
01:28:49.000 Bipolar Sunshine.
01:28:51.000 What's that even mean?
01:28:52.000 I don't know, man.
01:28:54.000 I don't know.
01:28:55.000 But see if you can find that.
01:28:57.000 I got it.
01:28:58.000 Listen to this.
01:29:00.000 It'll fuck us up.
01:29:01.000 Let's find it.
01:29:02.000 It'll fuck us up on YouTube?
01:29:03.000 It's got 50 million views on YouTube.
01:29:05.000 Oh, okay.
01:29:05.000 Definitely get us yanked off.
01:29:08.000 Bipolar sunshine is such as cloudy.
01:29:09.000 Can you play a little snippet of it?
01:29:11.000 I can get it for the audio.
01:29:12.000 Hold on.
01:29:12.000 Okay, for us?
01:29:13.000 For the audio listeners.
01:29:15.000 Okay, so the YouTube people won't hear this part?
01:29:17.000 Okay.
01:29:18.000 You YouTube people.
01:29:20.000 Should I sing along so you...
01:29:23.000 Is this definitely the one that I... This does not sound like it.
01:29:26.000 How do you know what you've seen?
01:29:28.000 No, that ain't it, Jamie.
01:29:31.000 Oh, this is it.
01:29:33.000 I'm sorry.
01:29:33.000 I'm sorry.
01:29:34.000 Try this.
01:29:35.000 It is A-L-E-G-R-E-2-0-0-3.
01:29:43.000 Yeah, Alegria and then there's like a little space.
01:29:45.000 2-0-0-3.
01:29:47.000 Truby Trio.
01:29:49.000 This is what it was.
01:29:51.000 What that one was that I just said was one that just showed up at the front of Shazam and I mistakenly thought it was the last one that I Shazammed.
01:30:00.000 Is that a verb?
01:30:02.000 Shazammed. 1.00
01:30:03.000 Shazammed. 1.00
01:30:03.000 Shazammed. 1.00
01:30:04.000 It is now.
01:30:04.000 I fucking love Shazam.
01:30:06.000 That is such a great application.
01:30:07.000 You know you don't even have to use it anymore.
01:30:09.000 You just use Siri.
01:30:10.000 She does it now. 0.77
01:30:11.000 I don't like that bitch. 1.00
01:30:12.000 Yeah, what?
01:30:13.000 Yeah, this is it.
01:30:14.000 This is definitely it.
01:30:15.000 Does this have any hits online?
01:30:18.000 So did the YouTube people hear this?
01:30:20.000 Or no?
01:30:21.000 You don't even hear anything, YouTube people.
01:30:23.000 You're like, what is happening over there?
01:30:26.000 You're gonna have to go to it.
01:30:27.000 It sounds like drums.
01:30:29.000 No, it's good, dude.
01:30:31.000 It gets going.
01:30:33.000 But it's...
01:30:33.000 What I like about Spanish music is, uh...
01:30:36.000 I don't know what the fuck they're saying.
01:30:38.000 So it's cool.
01:30:39.000 Like, I get the emotions and I get the vibe, but it's...
01:30:42.000 Have you ever listened to Rusted Root?
01:30:44.000 Rusted Root?
01:30:45.000 That sounds like your dick.
01:30:46.000 No.
01:30:47.000 After you bang a chick was on the period. 0.99
01:30:51.000 Oh god, no.
01:30:53.000 Yeah, it was so big.
01:30:56.000 An 18 inch root?
01:30:57.000 Keep this going if the YouTube people don't hear it.
01:30:59.000 Do you think it'll get us pulled off iTunes?
01:31:01.000 That won't happen, right?
01:31:04.000 Yeah.
01:31:05.000 But Joey Diaz's cousin has a band from Cuba.
01:31:09.000 Oh, it's awesome.
01:31:10.000 They're fucking amazing.
01:31:11.000 And they're on my playlist here.
01:31:13.000 Oh, really?
01:31:14.000 Yeah.
01:31:15.000 Alfonso X. X Alfonso.
01:31:18.000 It's X-A-L-P-H-O-N-S-O. They're a fucking bat... 1.00
01:31:24.000 What is that?
01:31:24.000 That's the thing that was...
01:31:25.000 The root that was pulled out of a dude's ass.
01:31:27.000 Come on, son.
01:31:28.000 Yeah, he used it for sexual play.
01:31:31.000 Come on.
01:31:33.000 Cassava root.
01:31:35.000 Oh, my God.
01:31:37.000 Well, it takes about 35 years of ass-fucking to take so much dick in your ass that it winds it up to take that root. 1.00
01:31:44.000 We're looking at a root that is about the size of Jamie's whole leg.
01:31:48.000 Right?
01:31:49.000 If you had a guess.
01:31:50.000 My arm, I don't know.
01:31:51.000 Your arm?
01:31:52.000 No, go back to that.
01:31:54.000 You see that photo?
01:31:55.000 That looks more like a leg, dude.
01:31:59.000 That's like a baby...
01:32:00.000 You know what?
01:32:01.000 That's like Tate Fletcher's forearm.
01:32:03.000 Yeah.
01:32:03.000 Like a big giant man's forearm.
01:32:07.000 That's like my dick on the boner pill right there.
01:32:08.000 Is it?
01:32:09.000 Yeah.
01:32:09.000 Same color, too.
01:32:10.000 Yeah.
01:32:10.000 Ready to explode like an Oscar Mayer wiener.
01:32:13.000 Did I tell you I used suntan lotion on my dick and it actually made my dick black, well, brown. 0.68
01:32:19.000 You mean tanner, self-tanner?
01:32:21.000 Tanner, because I didn't have any lotion and I was like, who's tanner?
01:32:25.000 It was like an ex-girlfriend's.
01:32:26.000 I'm like, well, this is lotion.
01:32:27.000 And so you turned your dick to black. 0.99
01:32:28.000 It turned it to like an orangish-brownish and it was so weird because it actually changed the color of my dick.
01:32:34.000 Wow.
01:32:35.000 So between that and the boner pills, what kind of birth defects do you think your children would have?
01:32:39.000 I'm adopting an Asian girl.
01:32:42.000 You're going to go Whitney Allen style?
01:32:43.000 Yeah.
01:32:44.000 Don't do it.
01:32:45.000 Raise her to be an awesome girlfriend. 0.97
01:32:47.000 I was listening to this...
01:32:49.000 I was listening to this Woody Allen thing the other day.
01:32:51.000 It's Woody Allen on comedy.
01:32:53.000 It's really interesting because it's Woody Allen.
01:32:55.000 There was two things that I bought.
01:32:58.000 One of them is Woody Allen doing stand-up in like the 1960s.
01:33:01.000 It's good.
01:33:02.000 He's good.
01:33:02.000 He was a very good stand-up man.
01:33:04.000 He was a good comic.
01:33:05.000 Why are you shaking your head?
01:33:07.000 He's a whiner to me.
01:33:08.000 It wasn't that whiny back then.
01:33:10.000 It wasn't that whiny back then.
01:33:11.000 It was a different style.
01:33:13.000 I mean, it was different.
01:33:14.000 He was a different guy.
01:33:15.000 He was a young guy.
01:33:16.000 And he was known more of as a comic.
01:33:19.000 And then there's also an interview where it's just Woody Allen talking about the process of creating comedy and what he did.
01:33:27.000 And that's kind of after he had stopped.
01:33:29.000 Yeah, that's it right there.
01:33:30.000 Those are the two of them.
01:33:31.000 Woody Allen on comedy and then Woody Allen stand-up comic.
01:33:35.000 Those are the two that I was listening to back-to-back.
01:33:38.000 It's just, you know, I'm certainly not sympathetic to what he's done.
01:33:43.000 I mean, he's such a fucking weirdo in what he's done.
01:33:46.000 Just the fact that that girl was his daughter, and I guess it's so creepy to me, right?
01:33:50.000 To everybody.
01:33:51.000 But looking past that, and just trying to examine him as a human being, what a complex and weird human being he is, he's pretty fascinating.
01:34:02.000 And I don't think he's victimizing anybody else, at least as far as I know, so I don't...
01:34:07.000 I don't have any judgment.
01:34:08.000 He's not in jail, so no one's going after him, so whatever.
01:34:12.000 So I'm just watching his life, or looking at his life, and he's such a fascinating character, man.
01:34:19.000 You know, he is a jazz musician, and for a while he did a documentary before everything got real ugly, right?
01:34:27.000 Where he was going around...
01:34:29.000 Was it before everything got real ugly, or was it in the middle of it all?
01:34:33.000 But he went around playing jazz concerts.
01:34:36.000 That was always sort of like a dream that he had.
01:34:40.000 So he went around doing a bunch of jazz concerts.
01:34:42.000 And he writes all of his scripts.
01:34:45.000 Yeah, there it is.
01:34:47.000 Wild Man Blues, 1997. I wonder who named it.
01:34:52.000 Maybe it was ironic.
01:34:54.000 Is it ironic, calling him the Wild Man Blues?
01:34:56.000 Or is he really a wild man?
01:34:59.000 I wonder when, so if that's 97, when did all this controversy take place?
01:35:04.000 I think before this, right?
01:35:06.000 Well, I don't think so, because that's 20 years ago.
01:35:08.000 So 20 years ago, that girl was like 10. You know what I'm saying?
01:35:12.000 Yeah.
01:35:13.000 It's just weird how we still celebrate Woody Allen, but yet fucking Cosby, forget about it.
01:35:25.000 Yeah, that was in 1992 when it started.
01:35:30.000 That's just a quote, fling.
01:35:32.000 Okay.
01:35:49.000 I see what she looks like.
01:35:57.000 Eek! 0.94
01:35:59.000 Alan said, well, he's 80 there, dude.
01:36:02.000 Yeah.
01:36:02.000 I mean, she's half his age, and she's 44. She likes that daddy dick.
01:36:09.000 I mean, what the fuck, man?
01:36:11.000 Yeah, she's 44, and he's 79. That is crazy.
01:36:14.000 She's almost half his age.
01:36:16.000 Wow.
01:36:17.000 They've been together for 23 years.
01:36:19.000 Hold on a second.
01:36:20.000 Go back.
01:36:21.000 Go down.
01:36:22.000 No, go down.
01:36:24.000 No, no.
01:36:25.000 Where it was?
01:36:26.000 Yeah, thanks.
01:36:27.000 Alan says it worked because he was paternal, which helped her flourish.
01:36:32.000 And these are in quotes.
01:36:33.000 Paternal and flourish are in quotes.
01:36:36.000 He also reveals that he thought it would be just a fling when they started.
01:36:40.000 A fling?
01:36:41.000 That means you just raped her or something.
01:36:43.000 Well, he just got away with fucking his daughter is what it was. 0.96
01:36:46.000 It's weird, man.
01:36:48.000 It's so weird.
01:36:49.000 He looks so odd in that photo, too.
01:36:51.000 And that's 92. Wait, how old was she when they adopted her?
01:36:54.000 Like 17?
01:36:55.000 Because then I can get into that.
01:36:57.000 Was this article from 92, Jamie?
01:36:59.000 No, this is...
01:37:00.000 Published 2015. Oh, why'd you say 92?
01:37:05.000 No, the fling started in 1992. Oh, okay.
01:37:09.000 Well, that makes sense, because how the fuck was she... 0.75
01:37:11.000 Yeah, okay, I'm retarded.
01:37:13.000 Because in 1992, that makes sense.
01:37:16.000 Wow, that's so weird, though, dude.
01:37:18.000 So he talks about it now, and they've been married forever.
01:37:22.000 See, that's what's fucked up about it.
01:37:24.000 What's fucked up about it is it worked.
01:37:28.000 They've been together for 23 years.
01:37:30.000 They have children.
01:37:31.000 Look at that photo of them.
01:37:32.000 Let's scroll down.
01:37:32.000 Look at that photo.
01:37:33.000 They're smiling.
01:37:34.000 They're arm in arm.
01:37:35.000 They're happy together.
01:37:36.000 Like, it's fucked up, but it works. 0.87
01:37:38.000 So, like, at a certain point in time, I mean, it's not, they're not genetically related, which is always the big concern, right?
01:37:44.000 The big concern was that your genes would be, if you had sex with someone who was your actual daughter, your genes would be all fucked up, and you'd, uh, look, she's kissing him on the cheek. 0.91
01:37:53.000 She seems to love him.
01:37:56.000 But you know what I'm saying?
01:37:57.000 I mean, it's like we have these ideas of what's okay and not okay.
01:38:03.000 It certainly seems fucked up.
01:38:05.000 But if she was 21 when it happened, she was a grown woman and she decided, you know what?
01:38:09.000 I want to fuck my dad.
01:38:11.000 My sort of dad.
01:38:14.000 The guy who lives across the city.
01:38:16.000 He lives on the opposite sides of the park.
01:38:18.000 She's 17 or so in this picture.
01:38:19.000 I mean, yeah, I could see what he was doing.
01:38:20.000 He was probably fucking her, though, at this age.
01:38:23.000 That's what the problem is.
01:38:24.000 As a parental, you know, he should not be...
01:38:27.000 He might have, like, raised her to want that dick. 1.00
01:38:30.000 Ooh.
01:38:31.000 I mean, if you can adopt a girl at 17...
01:38:35.000 Maybe find like, I mean, that's not bad, right?
01:38:38.000 Because it's like, if you were like a parent to a kid for like six months.
01:38:42.000 Yeah.
01:38:43.000 Well, I'm sure that's been done.
01:38:44.000 Wasn't it like...
01:38:45.000 Ted Nugent.
01:38:47.000 No, I was going to say, wasn't it jokingly hinted at for a long time before they actually came out and said like, I don't know, but Ted Nugent did that.
01:38:54.000 Ted Nugent adopted a girl, so like, but Google that.
01:38:58.000 There was like some crazy controversy.
01:39:02.000 That might not be a bad deal, checking out some of these orphanage websites and just finding the 17-year-old ones.
01:39:08.000 There might be something to it.
01:39:10.000 Just Google that.
01:39:12.000 He wrote songs about having sex with young ladies that were very young.
01:39:19.000 Underage Ted Nugent pic.
01:39:21.000 Ew.
01:39:24.000 He became her legal guardian.
01:39:25.000 That's what it is.
01:39:26.000 He didn't adopt her.
01:39:27.000 She was 17. Perfect.
01:39:29.000 He's ahead of his time.
01:39:30.000 But back then, okay, what year was this when this happened?
01:39:34.000 Alright, get rid of these photos.
01:39:35.000 Post me out.
01:39:37.000 What year was that?
01:39:39.000 1978. 78. How much different were things back then?
01:39:44.000 Do you take that into consideration?
01:39:45.000 Yeah, you have to.
01:39:46.000 Almost all the time it's hard to consider the...
01:39:50.000 That's like the context of what's going on, right?
01:39:52.000 Yes.
01:39:52.000 Or the context in the culture at the time.
01:39:55.000 Because we were talking about that with Socrates.
01:39:57.000 That Socrates was, you know, they were all pederasts. 0.98
01:40:00.000 They all liked to bang young boys. 0.97
01:40:03.000 It was real common back then.
01:40:04.000 But yet, no one...
01:40:07.000 No one has a little asterisk next to everything Socrates said.
01:40:10.000 You don't say, but remember, he used to bang little boys.
01:40:15.000 But if that was today, you would.
01:40:17.000 So as far as what Woody Allen did, it's creepy.
01:40:21.000 But is it bad?
01:40:23.000 It just depends when it started.
01:40:25.000 And if it started when she was 12 or something like that, then he could have like totally fucking brainwashed her to the point where now she just thinks she has to be with him or something.
01:40:33.000 And there was Mia Frau's other daughter was saying that he did something to her too, but Woody Allen was saying that, what it'll be, Us Magazine all the time?
01:40:42.000 I'm gonna stop right here.
01:40:43.000 Jamie's been talking about it all day.
01:40:44.000 How dare, yeah, Jamie.
01:40:45.000 It's Kobe Bryant's new sneakers are out.
01:40:47.000 Dude, check it out.
01:40:48.000 Last day.
01:40:49.000 Oh, shut your mouth. 0.84
01:40:50.000 How do you even know that?
01:40:51.000 $20,000 to go to that game if you want to go.
01:40:54.000 What?
01:40:54.000 Who would pay that much money for a baseball game?
01:40:56.000 It's basketball.
01:41:00.000 Yeah, who would, man?
01:41:01.000 Some crazy Kobe fans.
01:41:03.000 There's some kids from...
01:41:04.000 They're American, but they left Italy to follow them around all year.
01:41:08.000 And they spent a bunch of money.
01:41:09.000 They haven't said how much in debt they are, but they've gone to like 30-plus games all over the country.
01:41:14.000 That's not good.
01:41:15.000 Some crazy fans he has.
01:41:16.000 A lot of them are Asian, though.
01:41:17.000 He did a really good job marketing himself in Asia.
01:41:20.000 Did he?
01:41:20.000 How did he do that?
01:41:21.000 Nike.
01:41:22.000 They took him over there every year in the off season and go play and do like exhibitions and whatnot.
01:41:27.000 And they were doing it to get the Asian market into the NBA, and it worked.
01:41:32.000 They make a lot of money off the Asian market, way more than I would say they make in the United States.
01:41:36.000 Obviously there's more people there, but they love basketball there.
01:41:40.000 Stephon Marbury left the United States, went and made a lot of money there.
01:41:43.000 He's going to retire as one of the most famous Hall of Famers in Chinese basketball.
01:41:48.000 What happened to Lynn Sanity?
01:41:50.000 Obviously I'm on the outside.
01:41:51.000 I don't hear about that dude anymore.
01:41:52.000 He's in Charlotte right now, that's why.
01:41:54.000 But what's happening?
01:41:55.000 Is he doing well?
01:41:56.000 He's okay.
01:41:56.000 He's just an average really good point guard.
01:41:58.000 What the fuck happened during that one time where he just...
01:42:00.000 He was in New York.
01:42:01.000 And what was he doing?
01:42:02.000 He just kept hitting three-pointers or something?
01:42:03.000 He had a really good streak of like ten games where he played extremely well and they needed some hype to avoid and he was playing into the hype and it worked out.
01:42:11.000 And now it's over?
01:42:13.000 It's not that it's over, it's just there's other things to talk about.
01:42:15.000 Yeah, but how come, like, me on the outside, I find out about athletes when they're in trouble or they do something crazy.
01:42:21.000 They have to do something, like, really good.
01:42:23.000 Like, that's the only time I... And I remember thinking, well...
01:42:25.000 Brian, you'd like this guy.
01:42:26.000 I remember thinking, well, look at there!
01:42:28.000 Finally, you know, the Asian people have some super fucking badass basketball player other than the giant guy. 1.00
01:42:33.000 This is what he was doing.
01:42:34.000 He was, like, doing a crazy hairstyle this year.
01:42:36.000 Yeah.
01:42:36.000 So he's, like, Dragon Ball Z out his hair.
01:42:38.000 This year.
01:42:39.000 Crazy spiky hair, but like I said, he's playing in Charlotte, which is a smaller market, so there's less people talking about it.
01:42:44.000 When he was playing in L.A., which he did a couple years ago, after the whole thing happened, which was part of getting the Asian market into playing in the NBA and liking the Lakers, there's a lot of Asian people in L.A. that they could get money off of.
01:42:55.000 So he was in New York, he went to L.A., he played in Houston for a little while, but now he's stuck in Charlotte, which is why you don't hear about him.
01:42:59.000 Oh, okay.
01:43:00.000 Well, also, he hasn't been setting the world on fire.
01:43:03.000 Right, and they're not one of the top teams.
01:43:05.000 But they play against the top teams, right?
01:43:07.000 Yeah.
01:43:07.000 So if he was, like, super awesome, you'd hear about it.
01:43:11.000 Right, and you still do.
01:43:11.000 If you'd tune into SportsCenter and see the top ten or something like that, you would hear about his name here and there.
01:43:16.000 Right.
01:43:17.000 He's just kind of like Fouquet.
01:43:19.000 Pho-kay? 0.74
01:43:20.000 What does that mean?
01:43:22.000 He's okay?
01:43:23.000 That was a pun.
01:43:24.000 That was a Hinchcliffe.
01:43:25.000 I didn't get it.
01:43:26.000 Pho-kay? 0.74
01:43:27.000 Why pho?
01:43:28.000 You're not soup.
01:43:29.000 Oh, that's soup?
01:43:29.000 That's Vietnamese.
01:43:30.000 He's not Vietnamese. 0.98
01:43:31.000 Yeah, he was racist.
01:43:32.000 Not only that, I don't think it's pho.
01:43:34.000 I think it's really, you say pho.
01:43:35.000 Pho.
01:43:36.000 Yeah, which...
01:43:37.000 Hey, listen.
01:43:39.000 Spell it different.
01:43:40.000 I know, gyro. 0.99
01:43:41.000 How about that?
01:43:41.000 Yeah, why do you think you can get away with using our words different?
01:43:44.000 You know?
01:43:45.000 You're over here using our language, huh?
01:43:48.000 What'd you get your own fucking way to say an R? So wait, if it's fa?
01:43:53.000 Yeah.
01:43:53.000 So then why do so many of the faux restaurants always use it as its faux?
01:43:58.000 Because they know that we're stupid.
01:44:00.000 And we don't bother researching what the actual word means.
01:44:03.000 It's like, how many people called Hoist Gracie Royce Gracie?
01:44:06.000 Yeah.
01:44:07.000 Because they were unaware that you have to pronounce the R like an H when you speak in Portuguese?
01:44:12.000 Yeah.
01:44:12.000 I like how Joey Diaz always 100% says gyros, and he has to know.
01:44:18.000 Get a fucking gyro. 1.00
01:44:19.000 I've been having these fucking gyros lately, dawg. 1.00
01:44:22.000 Yeah.
01:44:23.000 Joey Diaz, do whatever he wants.
01:44:24.000 I like when he screws up people's names.
01:44:27.000 It's half the fun.
01:44:28.000 Half the fun.
01:44:29.000 Where the fuck's Dom Herrera?
01:44:31.000 He's supposed to be here.
01:44:31.000 He's gonna text me.
01:44:35.000 I was trying to ask you yesterday, Joe, about this Facebook camera and what you thought about it.
01:44:39.000 I showed it to you.
01:44:40.000 It's 17 cameras put together in one.
01:44:43.000 It's called the Facebook camera.
01:44:45.000 They announced it.
01:44:45.000 They're not selling it or anything like that.
01:44:47.000 It's going to cost $30,000 to put it all together, but supposedly it's going to make seamless 360 video.
01:44:53.000 Holy shit.
01:44:54.000 So people can watch it.
01:44:56.000 Well, how long before that flies around?
01:44:59.000 Yeah, so if you could put it on a drone, that'd be pretty cool.
01:45:01.000 Dude, that looks like a UFO. I mean, this thing that you're showing me right now looks exactly like a classic UFO. Doesn't it?
01:45:10.000 Yeah, definitely.
01:45:11.000 Like, if they could figure out a way to make that, like, put some sort of a inside fan that makes that thing hover and move around, that looks like a UFO. They sell one, that's like that one that they sell kind of like at Best Buy or Amazon,
01:45:26.000 though.
01:45:27.000 It's the same idea where it just records like a 360 thing, but you can't really do anything with a video other than the VR. Yeah, there's a lot of trouble right now going into it.
01:45:37.000 When we brought this up the other day, a lot of people were asking us, hey, you guys should do it.
01:45:40.000 It'd be totally awesome, which it would be cool for us, but there's a lot of hurdles to get to.
01:45:44.000 Well, you had a real good point, too.
01:45:45.000 We said, remember when people were going, how come everything isn't on 3D TV? What about 3D TV? Why aren't you doing your show on 3D TV? Now, try to find a 3D TV. Nobody has one.
01:45:53.000 He hasn't killed the 3D broadcasting, which they probably only did twice.
01:45:56.000 It's not ready.
01:45:57.000 None of that stuff's ready.
01:45:58.000 But I think it's going to be like Oculus Rift.
01:46:01.000 Like, it wasn't ready until it's ready.
01:46:03.000 You know, like, for the longest time when we were kids, virtual reality was a thing.
01:46:07.000 Like, there was even a movie.
01:46:09.000 Was it Lawnmower Man?
01:46:10.000 Lawnmower Man, yeah.
01:46:11.000 Yeah.
01:46:11.000 I mean, it was based on, like, we thought, oh my god, any day now we're going to be in virtual reality.
01:46:16.000 And it never took place because the computing power and the graphics and everything just wasn't ready.
01:46:20.000 But now that it is ready, like that NVIDIA demonstration that they did with all the crazy shit that you can do with virtual reality and those Oculus Rift goggles, what is that, dude?
01:46:33.000 Lawnmower Man.
01:46:35.000 That is Lawnmower Man?
01:46:36.000 Mm-hmm.
01:46:37.000 Really?
01:46:37.000 Yeah.
01:46:37.000 Was it that cheesy looking?
01:46:38.000 Yeah.
01:46:38.000 Yeah.
01:46:39.000 No.
01:46:40.000 It used the same animators from Beyond the Mind's Eye, if you ever watched that.
01:46:44.000 That guy that was in Lawnmower Man, the guy on the right, that dude was in a bunch of movies.
01:46:49.000 Yeah.
01:46:49.000 He was one of those movie stars, and I don't remember his name.
01:46:53.000 I don't know his name either.
01:46:54.000 I don't know who he is, but that guy was in some big ass movies.
01:46:57.000 He was always like the creepy guy.
01:47:00.000 He's one of those dudes like the Dude Where's My Car guy.
01:47:04.000 After he's not doing those movies anymore, it becomes like, hey, or American Pie, the American Pie guy.
01:47:10.000 Jeff Leahy.
01:47:10.000 Oh, Jeff Leahy.
01:47:12.000 Well, he's actually pretty famous.
01:47:14.000 I remember his name.
01:47:15.000 It's just me.
01:47:16.000 I forgot his name.
01:47:16.000 That guy's been in everything, though.
01:47:18.000 Talking about Stifler.
01:47:20.000 Yeah, Stifler.
01:47:21.000 What happened to Stifler?
01:47:22.000 I just saw a video on him yesterday on why he hasn't been marketed.
01:47:24.000 He just had a couple quote-unquote bad roles, if you will, where the movies failed, where he was like a leading man.
01:47:30.000 But he's been in all the Ice Age movies.
01:47:31.000 He's still doing pretty well for himself, I'm sure.
01:47:34.000 We'll end this on a nice feel-good moment, Jamie.
01:47:37.000 Beautiful.
01:47:37.000 Alright, Dom Herrera is going to be here next.
01:47:39.000 We're going to pause this bitch for a moment and then bring in the great Dom Herrera. 1.00
01:47:43.000 These Desquad.tv mugs that Brian brought in, how long are they for sale for?
01:47:48.000 They've just got a new shipment in, so the big ones are on sale.
01:47:52.000 And this shirt, which is the original Desquad shirt, but it's remixed in hat.
01:47:57.000 All sent to you via stamps.com.
01:48:00.000 That's right.
01:48:00.000 Go to deskwad.tv for more info.
01:48:03.000 Brian is tonight at the...
01:48:05.000 Irvine Improv and tomorrow at the La Jolla Comedy Store.
01:48:08.000 With George Perez, right?
01:48:09.000 I know.
01:48:10.000 Tonight's Dean Del Rey, Joe Bartnick, and tomorrow's Sean Halpin.
01:48:13.000 Excellent.
01:48:14.000 Excellent comedians.
01:48:15.000 Excellent show.
01:48:15.000 Go check that shit out, deskwad.tv.
01:48:18.000 Brian is redband on Twitter. 0.78
01:48:20.000 Young Jamie, for some reason, has not taken the Young Jamie Twitter name.
01:48:23.000 I have it.
01:48:24.000 It's just I decided not to use it.
01:48:26.000 Nonsense!
01:48:27.000 It seems silly.
01:48:28.000 It is your name!
01:48:29.000 You are Young Jamie!
01:48:31.000 Someday you're going to be like Bertrand Russell.
01:48:33.000 They called me Young Jamie, and for the first 50 years, I resisted the moniker.
01:48:38.000 I'll get stuck with Young for my whole life, and I won't be...
01:48:39.000 You are Young Jamie.
01:48:41.000 Yeah.
01:48:41.000 That's who you are, bro.
01:48:42.000 I'll take it.
01:48:43.000 I'll take it.
01:48:43.000 Okay, it's a good name.
01:48:44.000 You're a handsome fella.
01:48:45.000 All right, fuckers. 0.57
01:48:46.000 We'll be back in a little bit with the great Dom Herrera.
01:48:50.000 See ya!
01:48:50.000 See ya!