The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #833 - Brian Redban

00:00:00.000 Let's fucking talk like people, man. 0.99

00:00:03.000 Let's do this. 1.00

00:00:08.000 We're live, you motherfuckers. 1.00

00:00:10.000 We're live. 1.00

00:00:11.000 Happy birthday, Joe.

00:00:13.000 Thank you very much, Brian.

00:00:14.000 Happy birthday whenever your last birthday was.

00:00:16.000 Last week.

00:00:16.000 I missed it.

00:00:18.000 Good.

00:00:18.000 You're in the sneak tip on it.

00:00:19.000 I missed it.

00:00:19.000 Yeah, I don't like it anymore.

00:00:21.000 Once you hit 30, it's not cool anymore.

00:00:23.000 But when you hit 42, it's just like, I'm like looking at every time somebody dies, I'm like, how old are they?

00:00:29.000 48. Oh my God.

00:00:30.000 Well, he is fatter than me, so I'm good.

00:00:32.000 Yeah, I was looking at someone's post on Instagram, like a friend of a friend.

00:00:36.000 I went Instagram hopping.

00:00:37.000 You know how you go from one person's page.

00:00:39.000 You see someone comment something funny.

00:00:41.000 Oh, what's that guy got to say?

00:00:43.000 And you go to his page, and it was a guy talking about his wife's brother who died.

00:00:48.000 He had been suffering.

00:00:50.000 He battled his demons, was the quote.

00:00:53.000 He was 46. I was like, oh, Jesus Christ.

00:00:57.000 46? 0.99

00:00:58.000 Like, people are just fucking dying. 0.99

00:01:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:01:01.000 And it's the ones that get me the worst.

00:01:04.000 It's the ones I like.

00:01:04.000 He just died in his sleep.

00:01:05.000 Oh, yeah, man.

00:01:07.000 Patton Oswalt's wife.

00:01:08.000 Yeah.

00:01:09.000 Did it ever come out?

00:01:10.000 What happened to her?

00:01:11.000 I do not know.

00:01:12.000 It's so sad.

00:01:14.000 But, you know, we all will go, allegedly.

00:01:19.000 Burt Kreischer doesn't believe it.

00:01:21.000 Burt Kreischer goes, I don't think we die.

00:01:23.000 I go, what do you mean?

00:01:24.000 Prove it.

00:01:24.000 Prove we die.

00:01:26.000 You want me to kill you? 1.00

00:01:27.000 What do you want me to do? 1.00

00:01:28.000 How do I prove you'd die?

00:01:29.000 I know people, they're not around anymore.

00:01:32.000 They died, so am I supposed to just pretend they're not in this space, but they're in another space, and in that space I'm there too?

00:01:42.000 And they went through a portal?

00:01:44.000 We had him on Kill Tony a couple days ago, and he was on this weird pill.

00:01:49.000 He's like, I took this weird pill, and he's like, it fucks with my blood pressure, though.

00:01:54.000 If I laugh too hard, I'll just faint and pass out.

00:01:56.000 It's happened three times already, so I might pass out.

00:01:59.000 I'm like, wait, you should not be fainting if you're laughing.

00:02:05.000 Yeah, your brain is just shutting off. 0.87

00:02:07.000 Your brain's like, too much! 0.86

00:02:08.000 We're done! 1.00

00:02:10.000 Thunk.

00:02:12.000 You know, they say that's what happened to Hillary Clinton, that she blacked out, she fainted and hit her head in 2012. There's all these concerns that people have.

00:02:21.000 I don't know if they're founded in any fact, but apparently the real incident did happen that she fell down.

00:02:31.000 She blacked out and fell down and hit her head and had a clot, which can be pretty serious.

00:02:37.000 But there's, you know, of course because of that there's people that are making all these crazy videos speculating that She has brain damage and she's out of her mind that she's like super unhealthy Yeah, like there's see they've taken these compilations of her, you know Look, 0.97

00:02:53.000 she's doing hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of fucking interviews like this where people are talking to her and you know, it's It probably becomes mind-numbing after all. 1.00

00:03:03.000 It looks like she's having fun to me. 0.98

00:03:05.000 She's laughing, she's bobbing her head up and down, and they're saying that she's acting bizarre.

00:03:10.000 I think she's a person who's dealing with massive, massive amounts of stress.

00:03:14.000 I mean, I'm not necessarily a big fan of what she represents, other than I think it's kind of cool that there's going to be a first chick that's a president. 0.85

00:03:22.000 I think it was good to have a first black president.

00:03:24.000 As much as...

00:03:26.000 People didn't think that that was, you know, like important.

00:03:29.000 It was important socially.

00:03:31.000 It's important.

00:03:32.000 It's important.

00:03:33.000 Like having a chick president would be interesting. 1.00

00:03:35.000 It'd be interesting.

00:03:36.000 I'd like to see where it goes.

00:03:37.000 The problem with her is she represents like the oldest form of government. 0.97

00:03:42.000 She's like, do you remember that movie? 0.99

00:03:45.000 What was the fucking movie where there were the elder vampires? 0.99

00:03:50.000 You know what I'm talking about? 0.99

00:03:51.000 Like there was the, oh, Blade.

00:03:54.000 The movie Blade, right?

00:03:56.000 Where there were the ones that were turned into vampires and then there was the old ones who were born vampires.

00:04:03.000 They were natural born vampires, right?

00:04:05.000 And they didn't like Blade because he was like half human and he was, you know, he was made.

00:04:12.000 He was a daywalker?

00:04:13.000 Well, he was a daywalker because he was half human.

00:04:15.000 He could hang around at daytime. 0.99

00:04:17.000 I still maintain that first fucking movie. 0.99

00:04:20.000 That first Blade movie is one of my all-time favorite comic book movies. 0.99

00:04:23.000 Have you rewatched it lately?

00:04:25.000 No, I'm not going to do it either!

00:04:26.000 It breaks.

00:04:28.000 Everything's breaking.

00:04:29.000 No, I'm not going to watch it.

00:04:31.000 It's one of my all-time favorite comic book movies. 0.98

00:04:33.000 I fucking love that movie. 0.98

00:04:35.000 But that was the thing. 1.00

00:04:36.000 So Hillary Clinton's like, she's one of those born vampires. 0.99

00:04:40.000 She murders a lot of people is what you're saying. 0.98

00:04:43.000 I'm not saying she murders a lot of people. 1.00

00:04:45.000 I'm saying people that get into conflict with her wind up dead as fuck. 1.00

00:04:49.000 Right. 0.99

00:04:50.000 Jamie, what number are we on now?

00:04:51.000 It's 49, right?

00:04:53.000 Yeah, I think up to somewhere.

00:04:54.000 The internet says it's up to 49. Now, is this just a coincidence?

00:04:58.000 Or is this evidence?

00:05:01.000 Like, are we looking at evidence?

00:05:02.000 Or is this just, well, look at what these people are doing.

00:05:06.000 And the last guy seems to be like a robbery attempt or something like that, because it was four o'clock in the morning.

00:05:12.000 He got shot walking down the street in Washington.

00:05:15.000 Like, Washington's a notoriously dangerous place.

00:05:18.000 I mean, Marion Barrier got elected after he got arrested and went to jail for crack.

00:05:23.000 Then he got elected again.

00:05:25.000 Right?

00:05:26.000 Isn't that true?

00:05:27.000 That's true, right? 0.88

00:05:28.000 And it's a beehive for crazy people because anyone that likes government... 0.80

00:05:32.000 Look at the guy that climbed Trump Tower. 1.00

00:05:33.000 He's a crazy person. 0.95

00:05:34.000 If you saw his interview... 0.99

00:05:35.000 What are you talking about?

00:05:36.000 When was this?

00:05:37.000 Yesterday.

00:05:37.000 Oh, no.

00:05:38.000 You didn't hear about this?

00:05:39.000 No.

00:05:39.000 Oh, my God.

00:05:41.000 This was like the biggest thing for like three hours.

00:05:43.000 This guy was suction cups.

00:05:44.000 Climbing the Trump Tower.

00:05:46.000 Like, police busting windows out of Trump's windows, like trying to grab him, couldn't get him.

00:05:51.000 He kept on climbing.

00:05:52.000 He released, the guy released a video like 12 hours before, and if you listen to the video, it sounds like a YouTube commenter.

00:05:59.000 Like, it's just like, I want to give a message.

00:06:02.000 Excuse my manner of appearance.

00:06:03.000 I just don't know how many people will watch this, and I'd rather not be recognizable.

00:06:10.000 I'm an independent researcher.

00:06:12.000 Okay.

00:06:13.000 We're good.

00:06:14.000 I've had my fill.

00:06:15.000 But it was pretty intense because he got up pretty high.

00:06:18.000 And for a while, I didn't think the police were going to be able to do anything.

00:06:21.000 But watching them work in their tactics to catch a guy that has suction cups, very interesting.

00:06:27.000 This is when they pull him in and he...

00:06:29.000 Like, memes start happening.

00:06:32.000 Oh my god.

00:06:32.000 Like, right here.

00:06:33.000 Meme! 0.99

00:06:33.000 But he's still connected to the rope. 0.99

00:06:35.000 Yeah, I know. 0.98

00:06:36.000 So they're just probably beating the fuck out of him here. 1.00

00:06:38.000 And his dick's getting chopped off. 1.00

00:06:39.000 And now they're trying to undo him. 1.00

00:06:41.000 They're just gonna cut it.

00:06:42.000 No, they ended up pulling it off somehow.

00:06:45.000 But they destroyed that building.

00:06:47.000 They broke a lot of windows, cut a lot of, like, crates or air conditioning things.

00:06:51.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:06:52.000 What a crazy fucker. 1.00

00:06:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:56.000 Now, what happens to a guy like that?

00:06:57.000 How long do they go to jail for it?

00:06:59.000 Wow.

00:07:00.000 I don't know.

00:07:00.000 I think that's a wow.

00:07:01.000 They just announced the charges today.

00:07:02.000 I was going to look at that a second.

00:07:03.000 I think mental...

00:07:05.000 He's going to be in a mental hospital more so than a...

00:07:09.000 Jail it seems like but these kind of people are the people that hang out in like Washington DC and stuff that's why DC or Washington so So dangerous, you know, it's it's because they're attracted to this crazy thing that's already happening Well, if you have a hive of government and everybody knows it's got a centralized location.

00:07:27.000 That's the hive Washington DC is the hive of our government and the penthouse is Or the Pentagon penthouse The Pentagon is not that far from there, right?

00:07:39.000 How far is that?

00:07:40.000 It's in Virginia, right?

00:07:42.000 How far by air is the Pentagon from the White House?

00:07:46.000 They're fairly close to each other, right?

00:07:49.000 Probably like a 12-hour drive, something like that, I guess.

00:07:51.000 Is it?

00:07:52.000 I don't know.

00:07:52.000 That whole area, though, I would imagine.

00:07:54.000 And there's also that giant community of lobbyists that lives in Virginia, just outside of Washington, D.C., that Brian Callen was telling me is some of the richest people per capita in the country.

00:08:09.000 Right.

00:08:09.000 And where's DC? It's like right next to Arlington Cemetery.

00:08:11.000 It's just across the river from it, I'm pretty sure.

00:08:13.000 Oh, it's pretty close.

00:08:14.000 Wow, I was way off.

00:08:16.000 I had no idea it was that close.

00:08:18.000 It's a 12-minute walk, not a 12-hour drive.

00:08:19.000 It's a 12-minute walk from the Pentagon?

00:08:22.000 I mean, it's just literally really across the river. 1.00

00:08:24.000 Holy shit. 0.98

00:08:24.000 I thought it was more like a half hour away. 0.98

00:08:27.000 Huh.

00:08:28.000 Maybe in bad traffic, but...

00:08:29.000 Yeah, maybe that's what it is.

00:08:30.000 I thought it was like, uh...

00:08:33.000 Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go. 0.99

00:08:36.000 It's close as fuck. 0.99

00:08:37.000 So the point being that that's a hub. 0.99

00:08:40.000 So that one last guy that got shot, man, anybody could get shot in Washington, D.C. walking around the street at 4 o'clock in the morning.

00:08:46.000 You can get shot.

00:08:47.000 It can happen.

00:08:48.000 You can zig when you could have zagged.

00:08:50.000 You could rock into the wrong dude at the wrong time and it can happen.

00:08:54.000 It's just part of living in a high crime area.

00:08:56.000 So who knows if that one was?

00:08:58.000 But there's a gang of them that are connected to the Clintons that just wound up getting whacked.

00:09:03.000 Did you see all the crime that's been going on in the Olympics?

00:09:06.000 Like I sent Jamie this video in Brazil and it's just a collection of like the first or second day of they have like these people just watching the streets for crime and it's just tons of these petty theft like People trying to just steal people's stuff.

00:09:23.000 And this video, I mean, this came out, I think, the first or second day, but this video is nonstop.

00:09:27.000 It's just happening.

00:09:28.000 People just coming up and trying to steal people's cell phones.

00:09:32.000 And some guys are really smart with it.

00:09:34.000 They get on these bikes.

00:09:35.000 And you know, when you're looking at your cell phone, you're just kind of holding it barely.

00:09:39.000 People are just coming up and taking their phones on bikes and then taking off, and it's crazy. 1.00

00:09:44.000 This guy's the biggest pussy in the world, by the way, right here. 1.00

00:09:47.000 Look how small that little kid is, and he knows that guy's following him. 1.00

00:09:50.000 He's getting close to his girl, and he's just not doing anything.

00:09:53.000 Whoa.

00:09:55.000 And then this kid ends up stealing something from the guy in front of him.

00:09:59.000 Wow.

00:09:59.000 Right here.

00:10:01.000 Boink! 0.99

00:10:02.000 Hey, man.

00:10:03.000 That's just part of the process.

00:10:08.000 Some people are super disenfranchised and poor.

00:10:11.000 That was something that Byron Bowers had talked about in the podcast.

00:10:14.000 The difference between people that are just trying to survive.

00:10:17.000 They're just trying to survive, man.

00:10:19.000 It's a totally different world.

00:10:20.000 That girl didn't fight at all. 1.00

00:10:21.000 She's just like, just take it.

00:10:22.000 She just gave it up.

00:10:23.000 Okay.

00:10:24.000 So how many people have supposedly been whacked?

00:10:29.000 What does the internet believe?

00:10:30.000 I think it was 49. But is there anybody that makes a compelling case?

00:10:39.000 This says 90. But I don't know if that's like, I mean, it depends on which website you want to look up and find which conspiracy you want to dig down.

00:10:48.000 Is this on Snoopy's or Snopes?

00:10:50.000 You know, here's what's one of the weirdest things about government, is that it affects all of us, right, in this room, but we couldn't be further away from the type of person that would want to run the government. 0.99

00:11:03.000 I don't want to run shit. 1.00

00:11:04.000 You don't want to run shit. 1.00

00:11:06.000 The type of people that do want to do that, they are so not like most people. 0.99

00:11:11.000 Most people do not want to run everybody.

00:11:15.000 When you get people that are in that higher echelon of government and they have the ability literally to manipulate which way the country thinks with a really persuasive, articulate speech They really have the opportunity to change the way the country feels about itself.

00:11:36.000 You know, like Kennedy.

00:11:38.000 Some of Kennedy's speeches, you would listen to them and you would want to be a better person.

00:11:44.000 You'd hear that guy talk. 0.99

00:11:46.000 And he said such poetic shit. 0.99

00:11:50.000 He was so brilliant in the way he was able to communicate. 0.99

00:11:53.000 And in a lot of ways, like...

00:11:55.000 A lot of people thought Obama was going to be like that, too.

00:11:58.000 Because it seemed like he kind of was when he was running for office.

00:12:01.000 And we seemed like, when this guy gets in, man, he's going to make some of those Kennedy-type speeches.

00:12:05.000 And he made some really good speeches, for sure.

00:12:08.000 But it always felt like everything was down the middle.

00:12:11.000 Like everything was like a 90s sitcom.

00:12:14.000 You know?

00:12:15.000 It's like there was not much chances being taken.

00:12:18.000 It was like you wanted Seinfeld and you got mad about you.

00:12:22.000 You know what I mean?

00:12:26.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:12:27.000 Not that there's anything wrong with Matt about you.

00:12:28.000 It's a fine program.

00:12:30.000 Went on a long time.

00:12:31.000 A lot of people enjoyed it.

00:12:32.000 You know, but it wasn't curb your enthusiasm.

00:12:34.000 You know, there's... 0.99

00:12:35.000 When a guy comes out like Obama in his speeches at the Democratic convention before he was elected, you'd be like, holy shit. 0.98

00:12:46.000 Like, this is going to be the guy. 0.98

00:12:47.000 He's going to be this super articulate, powerful guy who rights all the wrongs.

00:12:52.000 So one of two options.

00:12:55.000 Either, one, he was never really like that, and he was just tricking us in this brilliant, like, portrayal of this rebel, of this person who's gonna come in and give you hope and change.

00:13:11.000 Or, two, you get in there, and the sobering effect of what you're presented with every day Makes you realize like, oh my god, they're just running around putting out fires all the time. 0.98

00:13:22.000 There's a fucking, like what you're seeing from those kids in that video in the Olympics where these people are getting purse snatched and shit and tourists are getting purse snatched and pickpocketed. 0.99

00:13:34.000 That is just what happens when things are all fucked up and unbalanced. 1.00

00:13:38.000 That's what happens. 0.98

00:13:40.000 It's just what happens.

00:13:41.000 That's just a whole mess.

00:13:42.000 Do you think this is the end of the Olympics just based on how much trouble this Olympics has been?

00:13:50.000 Looking at all the hotel rooms where the sinks are falling through the counters and how the water, I don't know if you saw the water today, is green because they have an algae problem or something like that.

00:14:01.000 Oof.

00:14:01.000 And if you look at all the past Olympics and how all the structures, there's a website where it shows all the old Olympics and how they have all these concrete things that are just now overrun by trees and weeds and stuff and how much it costs to make all this and now it's just ruined land.

00:14:19.000 Once you put concrete on land, it's pretty much ruined.

00:14:22.000 It's really hard for it to ever be farmed on again or things to grow when there's concrete on there.

00:14:28.000 Yeah, I guess it makes sense.

00:14:30.000 You'd have to take these things apart.

00:14:32.000 This is 1984 Olympics. 0.97

00:14:34.000 It looks trash. 0.55

00:14:35.000 Oh, they use it for a bike course. 0.99

00:14:37.000 That's kind of dope.

00:14:38.000 That looks fun.

00:14:39.000 Where is that?

00:14:40.000 That's Sarajevo.

00:14:41.000 Sarajevo, Bosnia, Herzegovina.

00:14:44.000 How do you say that?

00:14:46.000 Herzegovina.

00:14:47.000 Herzegovina.

00:14:50.000 Scrolled up so we could see that?

00:14:52.000 So look at that, man. 0.99

00:14:53.000 That looks fun as fuck. 0.98

00:14:54.000 These dudes are on the bobsled run, but it's all graffitied up, and they're riding bikes on it. 0.98

00:15:00.000 That looks fucking badass, man.

00:15:01.000 If you lived there, dude. 0.83

00:15:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:15:04.000 That would be the coolest shit ever. 0.99

00:15:06.000 If you were a kid and you were growing up in that neighborhood, but that's probably got a lot of bullets in that neighborhood, too. 0.99

00:15:12.000 Yeah, it looks like Rape Alley.

00:15:15.000 Yeah.

00:15:15.000 That's what they're riding away from rape.

00:15:18.000 Get us away! 1.00

00:15:19.000 But look at this.

00:15:20.000 It's beautiful.

00:15:21.000 And this land is just ruined.

00:15:22.000 It's kind of dope, though.

00:15:24.000 It is kind of dope right now, but in 20 years, it's going to look even shittier.

00:15:27.000 Look at that.

00:15:28.000 Mosquitoes.

00:15:28.000 That's where Zika was born.

00:15:30.000 Probably, right?

00:15:31.000 We're looking at it right now, and as we're scrolling through these pictures for people who are just listening to the audio, these things are available.

00:15:38.000 Where, Jamie?

00:15:40.000 Daily May.

00:15:41.000 I just typed in old Olympic venues.

00:15:43.000 This story will pop up if you Google it.

00:15:45.000 Old Olympic venues.

00:15:46.000 This one right here is not even eight years old from China. 0.99

00:15:49.000 Goddamn, this is crazy looking, man. 0.98

00:15:51.000 Like, look at these buildings. 0.99

00:15:52.000 They're just completely deteriorating and falling apart.

00:15:56.000 Yeah.

00:15:56.000 What is this?

00:15:58.000 There's a graveyard?

00:15:59.000 There's a graveyard on the site of the 1984 Olympics.

00:16:02.000 So they had the site of the Olympics in Sarajevo, and then they turned into a graveyard.

00:16:07.000 Okay.

00:16:08.000 Oh, that looks fun to skateboard.

00:16:10.000 Yeah, they have these crazy ski ramps, ski jumps from 84 Olympics.

00:16:14.000 Wow, this is really fascinating, man, that we do this.

00:16:18.000 You know, but I'll tell you, man, they got me.

00:16:21.000 I was watching it the other day.

00:16:22.000 Were you? 1.00

00:16:23.000 Yep, they got me, those fuckers. 1.00

00:16:25.000 Now, I heard a lot of criticism of it being a fluff piece this year. 1.00

00:16:29.000 A lot of people saying that, like, hey, I don't want to look at all these stories that we're watching, America's Got Talent.

00:16:33.000 I want us just to see sports in the Olympics.

00:16:36.000 Yeah, there's something to that for sure.

00:16:38.000 You know, they're trying to create stars and make a lot of money and make a lot of Michael Phelps type people out of it.

00:16:43.000 It's like a reality show.

00:16:44.000 Yeah, the whole thing.

00:16:46.000 The more Michael Phelps people come along too, the more that's going to happen.

00:16:49.000 The more you get these like super successful guys that can, you know, how many Olympic gold medals that guy won?

00:16:57.000 Like 28 or something crazy?

00:16:58.000 22, I think he's up to 22. Dude, insane. 0.97

00:17:01.000 There's a crazy picture of him in the pool from this past Olympics, and he's swimming, and the guy he's beating is looking at him.

00:17:10.000 And there was a meme that said, this is the perfect example of losers focus on winners, winners focus on winning. 0.98

00:17:19.000 Because he's like, just fucking laser beam straight on the target. 1.00

00:17:23.000 And the guy's looking at him like, fuck! 1.00

00:17:25.000 That picture is so classic. 1.00

00:17:28.000 That is a man saying fuck. 1.00

00:17:30.000 Back in the day, believe it or not, I was on track. 1.00

00:17:33.000 I remember one of the best tips was never look back, because every time you look back, that takes like a second off your time.

00:17:39.000 And that's the same thing if that's what he's doing.

00:17:41.000 He might just be breathing.

00:17:43.000 He might be breathing, but it certainly looks like he's looking right at Michael Phelps, so it's good for the narrative.

00:17:51.000 It's interesting that Michael Phelps won all those gold medals in swimming.

00:17:58.000 And then he became this huge swimming star.

00:18:01.000 Because think about how many swimming stars there have been.

00:18:04.000 How many are there?

00:18:06.000 There's Greg Louganis, who is more of a diving star than a swimming star.

00:18:10.000 Name me another famous swimmer.

00:18:12.000 I got one.

00:18:13.000 Summer Sanders. 0.99

00:18:14.000 I don't know who the fuck that is. 0.99

00:18:18.000 She's not famous like Michael Phelps. 0.99

00:18:20.000 Not even in the neighborhood.

00:18:22.000 I've never even heard of her.

00:18:23.000 No offense ma'am.

00:18:26.000 She's to host Nickelodeon shows after she's on the Olympics. 0.79

00:18:28.000 Oh, she did?

00:18:28.000 Yeah.

00:18:28.000 Okay, that's kind of cool.

00:18:29.000 But Michael Phelps is like, here's how I feel about sports. 0.98

00:18:33.000 If I know your name, god damn, you must be famous. 0.98

00:18:36.000 Because I barely pay attention. 0.99

00:18:37.000 So that's how I look.

00:18:38.000 I knew about Michael Phelps years and years and years and years ago. 1.00

00:18:41.000 So if I know about him, he's got to be famous as fuck. 0.98

00:18:44.000 It's crazy that every now and then a sport will give you one super famous person. 0.99

00:18:49.000 Like one Lance Armstrong, Tony Hawk.

00:18:52.000 And then once we got one of those, that's it.

00:18:54.000 Yeah.

00:18:56.000 You got Michael Phelps.

00:18:57.000 There was all these other guys that were on a relay with him. 1.00

00:19:00.000 They didn't even mention their fucking name. 0.99

00:19:02.000 There's another guy over here. 1.00

00:19:03.000 Nobody cares about that guy.

00:19:05.000 They barely paid attention.

00:19:06.000 They just focused all on Phelps.

00:19:07.000 Golf.

00:19:08.000 Name three names in golf.

00:19:09.000 Oh, this guy.

00:19:10.000 That's right.

00:19:11.000 Mark Spitz.

00:19:12.000 That's right.

00:19:12.000 I don't remember that guy.

00:19:13.000 He was at 76 Olympics, I think.

00:19:16.000 Is that right?

00:19:17.000 It has to be.

00:19:18.000 He looks like Burt Reynolds from Deliverance.

00:19:19.000 72. 72?

00:19:21.000 Yeah, man, that's right.

00:19:22.000 I forgot about that guy.

00:19:23.000 Okay, so he was the first of the superstar Michael Phelps type swimmer dudes.

00:19:30.000 I think before, I want to say before Phelps came along, and I really don't know, but I think that Spitz was the guy who won the most gold medals up until that moment, and then Phelps just fucking blew him out of the water.

00:19:42.000 Where is he now?

00:19:44.000 If I had to guess, by the way he looks, in a Burt Reynolds movie from the 1970s.

00:19:50.000 Yeah.

00:19:51.000 Look at him.

00:19:52.000 I hope that guy still rocks that look.

00:19:54.000 I wonder if being in water more than the average person is better or worse for your skin?

00:20:00.000 Probably worse because it probably tries you out.

00:20:02.000 Chlorine is not good for you.

00:20:04.000 True.

00:20:04.000 It's not good for you.

00:20:06.000 Chlorine kills everything that's in the water, but it also fucks with the flora of your own skin.

00:20:12.000 Like, it's not the best stuff in the world for your skin.

00:20:16.000 I mean, it's sterile water.

00:20:18.000 What about salt water?

00:20:19.000 That's probably better for you.

00:20:20.000 Yeah, I would say salt water is better for you.

00:20:22.000 Yeah.

00:20:23.000 Salt water is interesting, man, because I can't get it in my eyes.

00:20:26.000 I know some people can get it in their eyes, they don't have a problem with it. 0.97

00:20:29.000 I get it in my eyes, it fucking stings. 0.98

00:20:31.000 I don't know why. 0.99

00:20:32.000 Like, when I go to the beach, if I get water in my eyes, it fucking stings. 0.96

00:20:38.000 Does that add to your sodium levels? 0.98

00:20:40.000 Mark Spitz wasn't even using a swim cap when you're saying your eyes were stinging.

00:20:44.000 He doesn't have goggles on either.

00:20:45.000 Yeah, but I'm talking about a pool.

00:20:48.000 He swam in a pool.

00:20:49.000 In the ocean is when my eyes sting. 1.00

00:20:51.000 But yeah, Mark Spitz was old school as fuck. 0.99

00:20:55.000 He probably swam in a flannel shirt. 1.00

00:21:00.000 Look at his body.

00:21:02.000 Look at his shorts.

00:21:03.000 His shorts are probably made from red dye number nine.

00:21:06.000 They didn't do any strength and conditioning back there.

00:21:09.000 Stop throwing me just men in their underwear, Jamie.

00:21:11.000 Stop it.

00:21:12.000 The iconic Speedo endures.

00:21:15.000 So go to full body on this gentleman? 1.00

00:21:18.000 Look at his fucking body, man. 0.99

00:21:20.000 It's like, I mean, I guess he kind of looks like an athlete, or he looks like your girlfriend's brother that's staying with her over the, you know, you get up in the morning, you meet him for the first time. 0.99

00:21:29.000 Well, how you doing, man?

00:21:30.000 Nice to meet you.

00:21:31.000 Oh, hey, man.

00:21:32.000 Hey, y'all got soap?

00:21:33.000 Like, that's what he looks like. 0.99

00:21:34.000 He looks like some weird fucking dude who might have worked out a couple of times in his underwear. 0.99

00:21:41.000 Like, why are you just standing in your underwear like that, dude? 1.00

00:21:44.000 With gold chains around your neck. 0.99

00:21:46.000 This is a fucking strange picture. 0.99

00:21:50.000 It doesn't really look to swimmer body either. 0.98

00:21:53.000 Like the difference between that body and Michael Phelps body or any swimmer nowadays is like pretty different.

00:21:58.000 Like his legs actually seem kind of chubby.

00:22:00.000 They're like a...

00:22:00.000 I don't know.

00:22:02.000 They don't really seem muscular.

00:22:03.000 They kind of seem sexy.

00:22:05.000 Does Michael Phelps do strength and conditioning workouts?

00:22:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:22:11.000 I know he does that crazy cupping shit. 1.00

00:22:13.000 You been paying attention to that? 1.00

00:22:14.000 Yeah.

00:22:14.000 Everybody's cupping.

00:22:16.000 These days, these wacky kids. 1.00

00:22:17.000 That falls into the chiropractor bullshit stuff, right? 0.99

00:22:21.000 Like there's real no science behind it at all, I believe? 0.97

00:22:24.000 There's anecdotal evidence.

00:22:27.000 I don't think there's been scientific studies done on it, unfortunately.

00:22:31.000 Here's a breakdown of his training routine.

00:22:33.000 Warm up with jackknife crunches, three sets of 20. Push-ups, three sets of 25 to 35. And bodyweight squats, three sets of 25. Begin the pool with 50-meter drills.

00:22:43.000 So it's mostly swimming stuff, it seems like, and some bodyweight exercises, crunches and squats, but the majority of his stuff is about laps.

00:22:52.000 High intensity swim distances of 200 meters, 150 meters, 100 meters and 50 meters, with 30 seconds of rest in between each interval. 1.00

00:22:59.000 He's a fucking animal. 0.99

00:23:00.000 Just think about doing that. 1.00

00:23:03.000 Sprints with high intensity.

00:23:04.000 What is a high intensity to the greatest swimmer the world's ever known? 0.99

00:23:07.000 Can you even imagine operating those RPMs that he considers high intensity when that fucking guy gets going in a pool? 0.99

00:23:14.000 Dude. 0.99

00:23:15.000 Did you see that video of him getting super intense, getting warmed up for his race the other day?

00:23:19.000 No, I didn't see it.

00:23:21.000 It's kind of funny.

00:23:22.000 The dude's dancing around in front of him. 0.96

00:23:26.000 He's a beast.

00:23:28.000 You gotta be, you have to have like an insanely powerful mind to be able to do something that everybody can do, like swim, and do it faster than anybody ever. 1.00

00:23:40.000 You gotta be a fucking real, just super focused psycho. 0.99

00:23:47.000 I don't mean psycho in a bad way. 1.00

00:23:49.000 Well, he looks like a psycho. 0.99

00:23:50.000 I mean, that death stare he did was pretty fucking crazy. 1.00

00:23:53.000 So this is him. 0.94

00:23:54.000 Michael Phelps, what does it say?

00:23:57.000 Death stare of intimidation is going viral.

00:24:00.000 Oh, this is like some compilation with a talking head person.

00:24:03.000 What is that YouTube thing where they edit every five seconds?

00:24:08.000 You say something, edit.

00:24:09.000 Say something, edit.

00:24:10.000 And it's like constant.

00:24:11.000 There's no ums.

00:24:13.000 There's no normal talking.

00:24:14.000 It's like you're on speed.

00:24:15.000 ADHD for today's millennials started with natural born killers.

00:24:20.000 So one guy is like dancing like he's not even dancing.

00:24:23.000 He's like shadow boxing.

00:24:25.000 Is that guy a fighter?

00:24:26.000 Team South America.

00:24:27.000 Why is he staring at Michael Phelps?

00:24:30.000 He's just showing off for him.

00:24:31.000 He's like shaking in front of him and laughing. 1.00

00:24:35.000 Michael Phelps does not give a fuck. 0.99

00:24:37.000 He's probably happy that guy's doing that. 0.99

00:24:39.000 You know, it's a little test.

00:24:42.000 A little test for him to just continue his stare of death.

00:24:45.000 Whoa, that's pretty funny, man.

00:24:47.000 He's probably listening to some killer Creed music or something in his earphones.

00:24:52.000 What does Michael Phelps listen to?

00:24:53.000 He might be. 0.99

00:24:55.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

00:24:58.000 That is weird. 0.99

00:25:00.000 But I think you just gotta be that guy if you want to be that good.

00:25:03.000 Who else is as good as him?

00:25:05.000 Nobody.

00:25:06.000 Ever, right?

00:25:07.000 Who else is that intense?

00:25:08.000 Nobody.

00:25:09.000 He takes it all to the next level. 1.00

00:25:12.000 Goddamn crazy people out there winning gold medals. 1.00

00:25:16.000 Pretty fucking impressive. 1.00

00:25:17.000 Smokes a lot of weed, I hear. 0.99

00:25:18.000 Yeah.

00:25:19.000 Speaking of weed, did you hear about the DEA this morning?

00:25:22.000 That really pissed me off.

00:25:24.000 They decided not to reclassify marijuana, so they're keeping it in the same category as heroin and stuff.

00:25:31.000 They decided that it has no medical benefits.

00:25:35.000 Why can't we just take him to one of these kids that have, you know, seizures and just go, here, watch.

00:25:41.000 See, seizure.

00:25:42.000 Now see, no seizure. 1.00

00:25:43.000 Okay, shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:25:45.000 You know, common sense. 1.00

00:25:46.000 No common sense here, right?

00:25:47.000 Yeah, I mean, that's definitely evidence.

00:25:49.000 But, I mean, there's many, many cases of that.

00:25:52.000 That is evidence.

00:25:53.000 There's tests being done on these children in the real world, and it's working.

00:25:58.000 Whether or not it's scientific, double-blind, placebo-controlled evidence, no.

00:26:03.000 But there's plenty of evidence about the medicinal benefits of cannabis.

00:26:07.000 There's plenty of it.

00:26:09.000 There's all sorts of data that seems to indicate that it has some sort of a role in reducing tumors.

00:26:15.000 It definitely helps people with anxiety.

00:26:17.000 There's a lot of factors that it does.

00:26:22.000 When Neil Brennan was on, he was talking about antidepressants, and he was like, they don't exactly know how they work.

00:26:28.000 That's a really good point, but they sell a fucking ton of different kinds of antidepressants They know how cannabis works.

00:26:34.000 They know that there's cannabinoid receptors in the human mind meaning the human brain is designed or grew up or developed Alongside cannabis it knows what to do with it. 0.94

00:26:46.000 So when you take marijuana Your body knows what it is.

00:26:51.000 Your body even produces some sort of cannabinoid response when you run.

00:26:56.000 That's part of what you're getting in the runner's high.

00:26:58.000 They say it's similar.

00:27:00.000 Is that correct?

00:27:01.000 I think that's correct.

00:27:02.000 How is this a true statement that they add in there?

00:27:04.000 That they don't know the drug's chemistry is not known or reproducible?

00:27:08.000 I feel like that's false.

00:27:10.000 It says no current accepted medical use because the drug's chemistry is not reproducible.

00:27:18.000 Not known and reproducible means what?

00:27:20.000 What does that mean?

00:27:21.000 The drug's chemistry is not known and reproducible.

00:27:24.000 Meaning they can't create it in a lab.

00:27:27.000 Yeah.

00:27:27.000 Or they can't make two of the same, maybe?

00:27:31.000 You can't clone the same person over and over again.

00:27:34.000 Every time it's a different person.

00:27:36.000 Maybe because when you get it as marijuana, there's hundreds of different types of cannabinoids, apparently.

00:27:42.000 And you're not just getting THC. You're getting all kinds of other groovy shit in there, too. 0.96

00:27:46.000 Groovy. 0.98

00:27:47.000 Yeah, I think there's a ton of different types of cannabinoids. 0.99

00:27:51.000 Let's go down a little fucking information hole, young Jamie. 0.96

00:27:54.000 How many things? 0.99

00:27:55.000 I'm going to guess there's a hundred different types of cannabinoids.

00:27:59.000 What do you think?

00:28:00.000 I would guess over a thousand.

00:28:03.000 Jesus Christ.

00:28:05.000 I also think it's 12 hours too, depending on.

00:28:07.000 85. Cannabis contains at least 85 types of cannabinoids, many which have documented medical value.

00:28:14.000 That was 2014. They probably found new ones, bitch. 1.00

00:28:17.000 Okay, now there's only over 480 natural components found in the cannabis sativa plant. 0.99

00:28:23.000 Okay, there you go.

00:28:24.000 So that's different.

00:28:25.000 So it's 480 natural components.

00:28:29.000 So 113 different cannabinoids says one in Wikipedia, so you know it's real.

00:28:37.000 Scroll down one more, the one that says how many different cannabinoids?

00:28:41.000 That's right.

00:28:42.000 64. Yeah, so the answers vary depending on study and year.

00:28:47.000 This is the most recent one, right?

00:28:48.000 This is 2015?

00:28:51.000 Oh, no.

00:28:52.000 111. I think that says 1964. But if you scroll up, the post is from 2015. Yeah, so I don't think this is old information, right?

00:29:01.000 They wouldn't be using 2011's data, would they?

00:29:03.000 No.

00:29:04.000 It just says that the THC was first discovered in 1964. You know, that's really crazy that, you know, when they're talking about, like, data, that we're talking about, like, oh, they wouldn't be using data from, like, 20 years ago.

00:29:15.000 Like, those fucking idiots, they didn't know shit back then. 1.00

00:29:19.000 We really do kind of think about it that way sometimes. 1.00

00:29:22.000 Like, somebody sent me something the other day that was from three years ago, and I immediately was like, pfft, this is fucking three years old. 0.96

00:29:27.000 But it was a fucking really interesting story. 0.92

00:29:29.000 But unless it was happening that week, you know? 0.98

00:29:34.000 So...

00:29:35.000 What is that?

00:29:36.000 That's weird.

00:29:39.000 It's just like an assumption that other people have done more research up until now and have looked at that, maybe.

00:29:46.000 I would assume that a lot of times, I think.

00:29:48.000 If I saw something that said it was last month, I would think at least five people have seen it since then and snopes it out and wrote another article.

00:29:55.000 Yeah, but it's not even that.

00:29:57.000 It's an actual news event.

00:30:00.000 It's not debatable. 0.99

00:30:01.000 Just an actual news event from two years ago is bullshit. 0.99

00:30:04.000 I don't give a fuck about it. 0.99

00:30:06.000 It's weird. 0.95

00:30:07.000 Like, you look down, like, whenever there's an article that someone will tweet or I find online or I'm reading it on Dig or something like that, if I find an old article, if I'm researching the subject, if I just start Googling it, I find something from 2013,

00:30:22.000 I almost instantly go, it's like three years old, man.

00:30:27.000 So old back then.

00:30:29.000 They didn't know anything back then.

00:30:30.000 Right.

00:30:31.000 It's also like two, three phone generations old, too.

00:30:34.000 Yeah, that's what you think.

00:30:36.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

00:30:37.000 You see someone from 2003 with a flip phone, you want to go, you fucking moron. 1.00

00:30:43.000 Look at you. 1.00

00:30:44.000 I was watching The Matrix the other day.

00:30:45.000 They just had those little slide-out phones.

00:30:47.000 They had no concept of what an iPhone was even going to be then, I don't think.

00:30:51.000 And they weren't even discussing what that would have been like to have social media.

00:30:55.000 They were just texting each other, I think, and making phone calls.

00:30:57.000 Yeah, no, that's one of the interesting things about science fiction is that science fiction is a really poor indicator of what the future holds in most situations.

00:31:08.000 You know, like no one who did Star Wars or Star Trek, they didn't think they would be able to communicate with each other in real time all around the world through video and send emails and get all the information about anything you wanted to get at any given time wirelessly through the air in a little thing that's so small it slides in your front pocket.

00:31:27.000 Nobody ever thought that was coming.

00:31:30.000 No.

00:31:31.000 They just said how they're doing like the 5G right now and how back in the day, you know, we started off with 3G or whatever, 2G and stuff like that.

00:31:39.000 And now I think there's only like, there's a few countries where 75% of the country is still using 2G or 3G. And how they've run out of frequencies to build the 5G. So now they're going to have to start just kicking people off,

00:31:54.000 the 2G and 3G and stuff like that.

00:31:56.000 But back then, we had 3G and we were like, oh, this is great.

00:31:59.000 We can send text messages and we can send pictures now.

00:32:02.000 They weren't even thinking about Netflix HD streaming, you know? 0.99

00:32:07.000 I was just thinking, what if Ari gets kicked off because his phone can't keep up with the new shit? 1.00

00:32:11.000 Well, that's definitely happening. 0.98

00:32:12.000 I was thinking maybe they should make a new phone called the Throwback for people like Ari. 1.00

00:32:17.000 This phone just only has numbers on it.

00:32:19.000 It can't even text. 1.00

00:32:20.000 Call me, bitch. 1.00

00:32:21.000 It's a Windows phone. 1.00

00:32:22.000 It doesn't even get a text message.

00:32:24.000 It just gets calls.

00:32:25.000 It's like an old Motorola TriStar.

00:32:27.000 Not TriStar.

00:32:28.000 StarTax.

00:32:29.000 I was trying to talk to my dad about this the other day.

00:32:30.000 How important is that phone number still to a person?

00:32:34.000 Is it...

00:32:34.000 Because there's so many different ways to communicate, and you can communicate through voice and video, through Facebook, through FaceTime, audio, and Wi-Fi.

00:32:42.000 Yeah.

00:32:43.000 Do you really still need that 10-digit phone number?

00:32:45.000 I change my phone number almost every year now, and nowadays it doesn't matter.

00:32:50.000 It's a better way to weed out people that shouldn't have your phone number. 0.99

00:32:53.000 I used to think that, oh, I've had this number since I was 14, and now I don't give a fuck anymore. 0.99

00:32:59.000 That's what I'm thinking. 0.96

00:33:00.000 I keep my phone on the sleep mode or whatever, the moon, that doesn't let any phone calls go through and it doesn't interrupt you with alerts or anything.

00:33:11.000 But if somebody calls you two times in a row or three times in a row, it goes through. 0.98

00:33:15.000 But I accidentally leave it on all the time and I'm like, you know, this is so peaceful, not hearing my fucking phone beeping and ringing.

00:33:22.000 So I think that's important because I think we forget that We didn't have that, you know, growing up most of our lives. 0.92

00:33:28.000 And now it's almost like an alarm clock going off every two minutes, you know?

00:33:32.000 Yeah, and it doesn't give you a chance to live like a normal life.

00:33:35.000 If you're constantly updating yourself with Twitter or with text messages and you're constantly looking at it, that's what your focus is on.

00:33:43.000 And it's almost like you're not even living your life.

00:33:45.000 You're living your life through this screen.

00:33:47.000 Like you're going into another world, like this artificially created world.

00:33:51.000 And that's how you're existing in a world where no one's talking.

00:33:55.000 If they are talking, they're talking to you, like you click on a video.

00:33:59.000 Most of the time what's going on is you're reading stuff.

00:34:02.000 You're reading stuff or someone's sending you something, LOL, they're sending you a funny meme, you're like, ah!

00:34:06.000 You know, there's those things.

00:34:09.000 And that's, like, how people are living.

00:34:11.000 Like, people are, like, seeking out funny Instagram posts, you know?

00:34:15.000 And, like, I have friends that have, they subscribe to, like, ten different funny Instagram meme posts, and just every 15 seconds they look at their phone going, ah!

00:34:25.000 Look at that!

00:34:26.000 And you can do that. 0.98

00:34:28.000 You can be fucking perpetually entertained all day if you choose to do that. 0.98

00:34:32.000 If you follow the right Instagram memes and you have the right people on Twitter that send you the interesting shit, because there's always something new, there's always some new fucking crazy thing, you're gonna be constantly entertained. 0.97

00:34:47.000 Going back to the marijuana thing with the DEA, they had that happen. 0.94

00:34:52.000 They had to read or do that because the governor got so many signed petitions or signed names that forced them to have to reclassify the marijuana.

00:35:01.000 I don't know what governor, but...

00:35:04.000 Whoever it was, you know, if they acquiesced to the demands of the internet, we definitely didn't do enough then.

00:35:11.000 Should be more ramped up than that.

00:35:14.000 And they say that they couldn't reclassify it.

00:35:16.000 They had to keep it the same because they couldn't find any health benefits from it, right?

00:35:20.000 So what happens if the same governor gets all the signatures to reclassify cigarettes or alcohol?

00:35:27.000 What would the DEA have to say then for the health benefits of those two?

00:35:31.000 Would they have to reclassify it as illegal?

00:35:34.000 It's a very good point.

00:35:35.000 Let's try and see what happens.

00:35:36.000 I'd love to see what happens.

00:35:37.000 It's a very good point.

00:35:38.000 It's a very good point.

00:35:39.000 And here's another really good point.

00:35:42.000 They're classifying it in Schedule 1 because that's where it's been.

00:35:46.000 And because they claim there's no known medical use or it can't be reproducible... 0.70

00:35:53.000 Whatever the fuck that means. 0.99

00:35:54.000 You can grow it, dummy. 1.00

00:35:55.000 You can get clones and grow it.

00:35:56.000 Of course it's reproducible.

00:35:57.000 It's just reproducible as a plant.

00:35:59.000 So what they're saying is they're trying to classify it as a drug.

00:36:02.000 What they're almost admitting themselves, if what we're thinking is true, if what they're saying is that you can't It's not reproducible because it's not a chemical that you can break down into a pill, if that's what they're saying.

00:36:14.000 You can't standardize it because it's too wild and it's free and it's growing.

00:36:18.000 That's almost a perfect example of the fact that you're not...

00:36:24.000 You shouldn't be in a position where you're controlling a plant.

00:36:27.000 You shouldn't be in a position where you're regulating nature.

00:36:30.000 So you're almost admitting it yourself.

00:36:32.000 It's not reproducible?

00:36:35.000 Okay, if that's what you're saying, then you're saying it's not a drug.

00:36:38.000 Okay, but it has a psychoactive effect.

00:36:40.000 Okay, now you have to prove that psychoactive effect is dangerous.

00:36:44.000 Go ahead.

00:36:46.000 There's nothing!

00:36:47.000 That's the real problem.

00:36:48.000 The real problem is classified in the category of the most dangerous, harmful drugs.

00:36:55.000 There's no evidence that that should be correct.

00:36:58.000 There's no evidence.

00:36:59.000 So that's where the DEA is failing.

00:37:01.000 They're failing way more in that than they are in even not admitting that there's medical evidence.

00:37:07.000 Because if you wanted to follow it to the strictest sense of the word, what studies have been done that have absolutely been proven in a new, modern form of the most current science, What studies have been done that show the medical benefits of cannabis?

00:37:23.000 Not how many studies are being done, but it's because it's classified as Schedule I. It's a total catch-22.

00:37:29.000 It's hard to get studies done because it's a Schedule I, and so you can't prove it shouldn't be a Schedule I because there's not very many studies.

00:37:35.000 But there's a ton of studies that have been done by universities.

00:37:38.000 There's a ton of studies that have shown positive benefits.

00:37:41.000 If you want to go back into history, even back into the Nixon administration, they were running studies that they buried the results because the results showed no harm.

00:37:50.000 They showed nothing.

00:37:51.000 So when you follow just straight science, there's no evidence whatsoever it should be illegal.

00:37:58.000 That's the most important thing.

00:37:59.000 It's not evidence of whether it should be legal.

00:38:02.000 That's like, you know, the whole thing about you're innocent until proven guilty?

00:38:05.000 It should be the same way about marijuana.

00:38:08.000 It should be that you can't just make it illegal and say it has to remain illegal because we don't know what it can do.

00:38:18.000 Because you do know what it can do.

00:38:19.000 You do.

00:38:19.000 You definitely know.

00:38:20.000 Why do you think millions of people like it?

00:38:22.000 Are they all crazy?

00:38:23.000 What's going on? 1.00

00:38:24.000 All these millions and millions of adults that live in America, are they fucking crazy? 1.00

00:38:28.000 So what are you saying? 1.00

00:38:30.000 You're saying you're smarter than them? 1.00

00:38:31.000 Why don't you talk about it with somebody that knows what the fuck they're talking about? 1.00

00:38:34.000 You'll get buried. 0.99

00:38:35.000 Talk about it with a person who's like, talk about it with like Todd McCormick.

00:38:39.000 Remember Todd McCormick having a debate with one of these DEA guys about whether or not marijuana is beneficial?

00:38:44.000 He survived cancer because of it.

00:38:47.000 A lot of people have.

00:38:48.000 We have friends that have kids that have autism. 0.99

00:38:50.000 They give their fucking kids this medical cannabis and all of a sudden they can talk, they relax, they stop having seizures. 0.99

00:38:57.000 It's a massive benefit to a lot of people. 1.00

00:39:01.000 It relaxes people, makes people feel good.

00:39:04.000 And we have a government agency in 2016 that ignores all of that.

00:39:10.000 It wants to keep it in a category of some of the most harmful and dangerous drugs.

00:39:14.000 These people are like living in an episode of Hawaii Five-0.

00:39:17.000 They're living in the past.

00:39:19.000 They're like 1950s people.

00:39:22.000 And what they think they can do is like keep this bureaucracy and this paperwork and these classifications in movement and they can head off freedom.

00:39:36.000 Because what they're trying to do is they're trying to stop freedom.

00:39:39.000 And one of the reasons why they're trying to stop freedom is because they benefit from it.

00:39:43.000 They benefit from stopping it.

00:39:44.000 They have more agents. 0.99

00:39:46.000 If all of a sudden most drugs are legal, what are those fucking thousands of DEA agents going to do? 0.98

00:39:52.000 They're protecting their own industry. 0.97

00:39:55.000 This is a natural thing that any organism does when it's threatened.

00:39:59.000 And if you start making drugs legal, and you start opening up that conversation, like... 0.91

00:40:05.000 Who the fuck is any one adult to tell any other adult what's good or bad for you? 0.99

00:40:11.000 When a lot of shit we do, whether it's the food we eat, the alcohol we drink, the cigarettes we smoke, the fucking sugar in our diet, all these things are bad for us. 0.99

00:40:19.000 We all know that. 1.00

00:40:20.000 But we're free. 1.00

00:40:21.000 Is the government gonna come in with fucking machine guns and stop you from eating a chocolate cake and smoking a cigarette? 1.00

00:40:26.000 Fuck that, right? 1.00

00:40:27.000 I think we all agree on that. 1.00

00:40:29.000 If they can't do that, they shouldn't be able to stop you from smoking weed.

00:40:33.000 This is archaic. 1.00

00:40:34.000 This is some ancient fucking vampire shit. 1.00

00:40:38.000 And they're clinging to civilization. 1.00

00:40:40.000 They are totally irrelevant.

00:40:42.000 Totally irrelevant.

00:40:43.000 Your decisions should be made 100% on the facts that are available today.

00:40:48.000 You can go.

00:40:49.000 You could research all the facts about marijuana.

00:40:52.000 You find a few that make correlations between some sort of mental illnesses, but most of the time, at least according to experts that I've listened to talk about it, the correlations of schizophrenia to marijuana use are directly in proportion with the numbers of schizophrenia for any given population.

00:41:11.000 That there's always going to be around 1% of the population that suffers from some type of schizophrenia or severe mental distraction, illness, you know, a bunch of different categories of these various mental diseases.

00:41:23.000 But it's always that number.

00:41:24.000 So if they smoked pot, it's just a thousand people, you know, that smoked pot have schizophrenia.

00:41:31.000 Okay.

00:41:32.000 If there was the same amount of people...

00:41:34.000 And they didn't smoke pot, it might be the same amount of schizophrenics. 0.97

00:41:38.000 They might not even be connected, but when you're talking about 300 million people and you say 30,000 people got schizophrenia from marijuana, are you fucking sure? 0.97

00:41:47.000 Are you really fucking sure? 0.93

00:41:48.000 Or is it just 30,000 people have schizophrenia and they also smoke marijuana? 0.99

00:41:53.000 This is the real problem with the way they present the data because it's just like you coming up to me or to Jamie and you saying that you've got new rules.

00:42:02.000 You as a 42-year-old grown-ass man, you have new rules and you don't want us drinking alcohol anymore.

00:42:08.000 You're going to come in and you've hired guards to keep us from smoking alcohol or drinking alcohol.

00:42:15.000 It's the same thing. 0.99

00:42:17.000 If it's 50,000 people with some big building with three letters in the front of it, or whether it's one crazy fuck who wants to stop his neighbor from smoking pot, it's the same thing. 0.98

00:42:27.000 You're trying to stop someone from doing something that's not bad. 0.97

00:42:31.000 Like, you can't do that.

00:42:33.000 You don't have any evidence that it's bad.

00:42:34.000 There should be a fuckload of evidence that it's bad. 0.99

00:42:37.000 And it should be as much or worse than all the shit that you know is bad that you sell open and make money from taxes. 0.99

00:42:45.000 Alcohol. 0.99

00:42:46.000 Alcohol.

00:42:46.000 Which we both love.

00:42:48.000 I love, but here's a great example. 0.99

00:42:49.000 God damn I talk a lot. 0.99

00:42:50.000 They just released a study, I think this week, showing that they proved scientifically that weed is better for sex. 1.00

00:43:01.000 And they not only did it for pleasures, but they also explained how when you have alcohol, you cheat more, you do bad things, you hook up with people you shouldn't do, you don't use condoms, you do a lot of shit. 0.98

00:43:14.000 A lot of people listening are like, I'm on team booze. 0.98

00:43:17.000 Let's do this.

00:43:19.000 Danger style! 0.99

00:43:20.000 But it's shit that is life-changing. 1.00

00:43:22.000 Getting a girl pregnant that you met at a bar that looked hot last night, you wake up and it's a dog. 1.00

00:43:27.000 A dog?

00:43:28.000 Are you talking about a woman?

00:43:29.000 A woman-human? 1.00

00:43:30.000 How dare you? 1.00

00:43:32.000 Is that slut-shaming? 1.00

00:43:34.000 An actual dog? 0.95

00:43:36.000 There was an article on a website that I go to all the time, and I don't want to make fun of the man who wrote it because I love him, but it was about fat shaming in martial arts.

00:43:46.000 It was Juliana Pena fat shames Ronda Rousey.

00:43:50.000 And Juliana Pena, who's one of the toughest 135-pound fighters in the women's bantamweight division of the UFC, she's badass. 0.99

00:43:58.000 She's talking some shit. 0.98

00:43:59.000 She's trying to get people to pay attention to her. 1.00

00:44:00.000 I mean, this is what Conor McGregor did. 1.00

00:44:02.000 It's what a lot of these fucking people do. 0.99

00:44:03.000 It's a smart business move, okay? 0.99

00:44:06.000 So that we all should be aware of, right?

00:44:09.000 I mean, it's not just a person saying this.

00:44:11.000 It's a smart business move.

00:44:13.000 So she says this quote about Ronda Rousey, and she says something about Ronda Rousey having fat arms. 1.00

00:44:19.000 And so the title of this whole piece, she wants to beat her ass, okay? 0.99

00:44:23.000 This is what she wants to do to Ronda Rousey. 1.00

00:44:24.000 She wants to hold her down.

00:44:25.000 She wants to mount her. 1.00

00:44:26.000 She wants to elbow her face bloody. 1.00

00:44:28.000 She wants to punch her eyes so that they're swollen and shut. 1.00

00:44:31.000 Then she wants to get behind her and choke her and say nasty shit to her as she puts her unconscious. 1.00

00:44:36.000 That's what she wants to do. 1.00

00:44:38.000 That's what she would like to do, right?

00:44:39.000 That's what almost all these fighters would like to do when they're locked in mortal combat. 0.99

00:44:43.000 They want to beat the other person's ass and they want to choke them out, right? 0.99

00:44:46.000 The nasty stuff, I put that in myself. 1.00

00:44:49.000 I mean, you know, point being, I've seen people say some nasty shit to people while they're choking them out, by the way. 0.99

00:44:54.000 But point being, that seems to be way worse than saying she has fat arms, right? 0.99

00:44:59.000 What's this girl look like? 1.00

00:45:00.000 What's her face look like?

00:45:01.000 She's beautiful.

00:45:01.000 Juliana Pena's beautiful.

00:45:02.000 Is she?

00:45:02.000 Yeah, she's beautiful.

00:45:03.000 She's beautiful.

00:45:04.000 But so is Ronda Rousey. 0.74

00:45:06.000 But she said, you know, she said something about Ronda Rousey having fat arms.

00:45:10.000 I forget what the quote was about something about she's over her, like... 0.95

00:45:15.000 And, you know, one of the things that it said, yeah, it's, no one cares about Ronda Rousey and her fat arms anymore. 0.57

00:45:23.000 Listen, that's a funny thing to say.

00:45:25.000 And you see Juliana Payne, you see how pretty she is?

00:45:27.000 Yeah, except for that nose.

00:45:29.000 She just got beat up. 1.00

00:45:30.000 That was a fight.

00:45:30.000 It's all swollen up right there.

00:45:32.000 Not even beat up.

00:45:33.000 She's never been beat up.

00:45:34.000 She's badass. 1.00

00:45:35.000 She's tough.

00:45:36.000 And she's trying to make some waves. 1.00

00:45:39.000 But the article that I read was talking about the fat shaming, that women should never fat shame each other.

00:45:44.000 Women fighters shouldn't fat shame. 1.00

00:45:45.000 Listen, it's called talking shit. 1.00

00:45:47.000 It's called talking shit. 1.00

00:45:49.000 You can't stop them from talking shit by putting it into this new category, fat shaming. 1.00

00:45:54.000 What? 1.00

00:45:54.000 That is the most mild form of mockery ever. 1.00

00:45:59.000 A beautiful woman who has big arms. 1.00

00:46:01.000 She'll fucking throw you on your head with those big arms. 1.00

00:46:04.000 There's a reason for those fucking things, man. 1.00

00:46:06.000 They work. 1.00

00:46:07.000 I did date a girl with big arms. 1.00

00:46:08.000 It was weird.

00:46:11.000 Because she was so beautiful, had a nice body, but for some reason, her arms are about double time. 0.76

00:46:16.000 And if she wore the wrong shirts, it was very uncomfortable to continue to look at.

00:46:21.000 You know how you have those, like, sexual excapades when you're, like, in your early 19, 20 years, you know, like, 20, 21?

00:46:29.000 Sometimes you'll, like, meet someone, you never see them again.

00:46:31.000 And this is even more interesting because it's, you know...

00:46:35.000 There was no cell phones back then, so you couldn't really get in touch with people that well.

00:46:38.000 You had to call them at home.

00:46:40.000 If the phone didn't pick up, they didn't have an answering machine, couldn't even leave a message.

00:46:43.000 It was weird back then, right?

00:46:45.000 But I hooked up with this chick that I always thought about for years after, like, whatever happened to that girl? 0.99

00:46:51.000 She was a tank. 1.00

00:46:53.000 A fucking tank. 1.00

00:46:55.000 She was into weightlifting, like seriously into weightlifting, and she had a full-on six-pack. 1.00

00:47:00.000 Wow.

00:47:00.000 Like a full six-pack.

00:47:01.000 She was like, and she had these big-ass fucking squatter legs. 1.00

00:47:06.000 And she was a freak. 1.00

00:47:09.000 And I always remember, like, god damn, like, whatever happened to that crazy girl? 0.99

00:47:13.000 She was fun. 0.99

00:47:14.000 You didn't look her up?

00:47:15.000 You didn't find her?

00:47:16.000 You didn't Facebook her?

00:47:16.000 She was too big for me, man.

00:47:17.000 She made me nervous.

00:47:18.000 She made me nervous! 0.72

00:47:20.000 I'm not kidding.

00:47:21.000 I mean, she was real nice.

00:47:22.000 She lived, like, really far away, too.

00:47:24.000 I think she was, like, an hour and a half away from me.

00:47:26.000 An hour and a half drive.

00:47:27.000 Just, you know, those don't work out when you're 20. It's like, and you're busy with a million other things, but she was a tank. 0.99

00:47:33.000 Yeah, I've been with a couple girls that were like an MMA, two MMA girls type girls, bodies, and it's not comfortable thinking like, oh, this girl can kill me if I do, you know, like having sex with him was weird. 0.99

00:47:45.000 It was just like, I feel like I'm fucking a guy. 0.98

00:47:47.000 We did a fight companion the other day, and Eddie Bravo was drunk off his rocker. 0.99

00:47:52.000 Yeah. 0.69

00:47:53.000 And we were all having fun and talking about whether or not female UFC fighters, like, what untrained male could fuck up a female UFC fighter?

00:48:02.000 Like, how big does the woman have to be? 1.00

00:48:04.000 How big does the man have to be?

00:48:05.000 We got to Cyborg versus Ray Lewis.

00:48:07.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.94

00:48:09.000 It was one of the most ridiculous conversations we've ever had. 0.93

00:48:13.000 And Eddie got to the point where Eddie was using social justice warrior tactics. 0.99

00:48:17.000 He said that we all hated women.

00:48:18.000 Oh, God.

00:48:21.000 Because Eddie was insisting that Claudia Gidea, who was a badass fighter, but she also fights at 115 pounds. 1.00

00:48:30.000 How big would the man have to be for...

00:48:32.000 We were thinking a 190-pound untrained man.

00:48:35.000 And then we got to be like, okay, what's untrained?

00:48:38.000 What if he has a year of high school wrestling?

00:48:40.000 Every year of high school wrestling, that's a guy who understands how to take people down at the very least.

00:48:45.000 And if he gets on top of you and he's 190 pounds, you're 115, you might be fucksville, right?

00:48:49.000 And so we got into this crazy conversation. 0.99

00:48:52.000 Then it got to be like, Cyborg will fuck up any untrained dude. 0.93

00:48:54.000 What about Ray Lewis? 0.86

00:48:55.000 And then it got to Cyborg versus Ray Lewis.

00:48:58.000 Oh, that's so great.

00:49:01.000 So it's on his Twitter page.

00:49:02.000 Ray Lewis, 249 pounds.

00:49:04.000 It says Chris Cyborg, 139. That is a fucking lie. 1.00

00:49:09.000 Chris Cyborg, first of all... 0.99

00:49:12.000 I think they should make a 145 pound weight class just for her because the UFC right now has two 115 and 135 recognized classes in the women's division and they had Cyborg get down to 140 for one fight. 1.00

00:49:26.000 She fought Leslie Smith at 140. See that's more realistic that she weighs 145, but she really only weighs 145 after a brutal weight cut. 1.00

00:49:35.000 She's probably closer to 165 in real life. 0.97

00:49:39.000 But they keep making her get down to 140, which I don't fucking... 0.96

00:49:43.000 It's not... 0.96

00:49:43.000 Look, she's not going to fight at 135. She's too big. 0.96

00:49:46.000 But there's a video of her making weight for 140 that she just put up.

00:49:51.000 It's horrific, man.

00:49:52.000 She's crying.

00:49:53.000 I mean, she's like broken down. 0.98

00:49:55.000 I mean, they get so fucking drained. 0.95

00:49:59.000 And then they got to fight 24 hours later. 0.98

00:50:01.000 It's crazy.

00:50:02.000 The whole process is crazy. 1.00

00:50:04.000 It's dangerous, and it's stupid, and it's unnecessary. 0.98

00:50:08.000 You should let these athletes, like, they should figure out what, I think the real problem is, here's one of the problems, is there's specific weight classes, right? 0.98

00:50:18.000 There's like 155, there's 170, there's 185, and in each specific weight class, the guy has, there's a champion, right?

00:50:27.000 But the variety of people, like what your natural weight should be, It really should be what you are when you're healthy, in shape, and you're walking around.

00:50:38.000 And ideally, that's exactly where you should be fighting. 0.86

00:50:41.000 The problem is, people are gonna fucking game the system. 0.92

00:50:44.000 And I think what we have to do is we have to shame people to try to game the system. 0.98

00:50:49.000 People that try to dehydrate themselves and fight smaller people.

00:50:52.000 That's like contrary to everything that martial arts is supposed to be about.

00:50:56.000 It's supposed to be about testing your skills, and especially in the competition sense, versus someone who's the exact same size as you.

00:51:04.000 So you're testing your skills.

00:51:05.000 You're testing your ability against someone who is the same size as you.

00:51:09.000 But if you pretend that you're that size, but you're only that size for like an hour, because you dehydrate yourself, but then you blow up, and you're much bigger after it's over, that's sort of contrary to what martial arts is supposed to be about.

00:51:23.000 Do you think it's the frequency of the UFCs, how many there are?

00:51:27.000 I mean, they're flooding the UFCs.

00:51:29.000 There's one almost every two weeks now.

00:51:31.000 Do you think if they were like, you're only allowed to fight every three years, but we're paying you twice as much, do you think that would help out fighters?

00:51:37.000 I don't think that's the solution.

00:51:40.000 I think, you know, it's good to have a bunch of different suggestions, but I think what right now everyone's locked into these pathways of fighting for titles.

00:51:49.000 This is what I think.

00:51:50.000 I think that's awesome.

00:51:52.000 Don't get me wrong.

00:51:53.000 I love when someone wins the belt.

00:51:54.000 I love it.

00:51:55.000 It's exciting.

00:51:56.000 You know when I get to walk up to someone and say Tyron Woodley the new welterweight champion the world like how does that sound like that's real you get to participate in one of the most special moments of an athlete's career of a fighters entire struggle as a As a competitor and one of the most difficult things a person could ever do So that that moment is like that's a crazy critical huge massive moment,

00:52:24.000 you know for anyone and I remember clearly saying it to Misha Tate.

00:52:29.000 I remember clearly saying it to Conor McGregor, Tyron Woodley, Robbie Lawler.

00:52:35.000 I remember clearly a lot of these guys.

00:52:36.000 These are huge, huge moments.

00:52:39.000 I don't think the average person, and even me, I don't think I can be as close as I am to the struggle, to the fights, and calling them all and being there.

00:52:47.000 I don't think I understand it like he understands it.

00:52:50.000 There's no way.

00:52:50.000 I can't.

00:52:51.000 There's no way I do.

00:52:52.000 I just don't.

00:52:56.000 So, there's that.

00:52:58.000 But, after that, what do we really want to see?

00:53:02.000 We want to see the best people fight the best people.

00:53:05.000 I don't know if the title of champion is the best way to do that.

00:53:12.000 I mean, we're all obsessed with who's the best, right?

00:53:15.000 And that is a good thing, I guess, because it forces people to fucking just polish that sword to the perfect sharpness. 0.77

00:53:24.000 But at the end of the day, what do we want to see? 0.93

00:53:25.000 We want to see the best people fight the best people.

00:53:27.000 That's what we really want to see.

00:53:28.000 I want to see Diaz double-slap Conor in the face at the same time.

00:53:31.000 Like, okay, let me ask you this right now.

00:53:33.000 If somebody had to offer you a pay-per-view tomorrow, if there's a pay-per-view they were doing tomorrow, and it's Nick Diaz versus George St. Pierre, there's no title on the line. 0.96

00:53:42.000 Who gives a fuck about a title? 0.94

00:53:43.000 I don't care at all. 0.98

00:53:45.000 I couldn't care less about a title.

00:53:48.000 If it's George St. Pierre versus Nick Diaz, I'm in.

00:53:51.000 I'm in.

00:53:52.000 I think that's the same thing with Tyron Woodley versus Nick Diaz or Tyron Woodley versus George St. Pierre.

00:54:01.000 It doesn't have to be for a title.

00:54:03.000 I want to see that.

00:54:04.000 I want to see what that is.

00:54:07.000 It's amazing when a person wins a title.

00:54:09.000 It is a gigantic achievement.

00:54:13.000 But what do you really want to see?

00:54:15.000 As a person who enjoys the sport, you want to see a guy who's beating everybody, right?

00:54:20.000 You want to see a guy who just keeps beating guys.

00:54:23.000 It doesn't matter if there's a belt on the line.

00:54:25.000 If I find out that Robbie Lawler's won six fights in a row against world-class competition, I'm like, he's beating this guy, he's beating that guy, he's beating Matt Brown, he's beating Johnny Hendricks.

00:54:35.000 I don't...

00:54:36.000 The belt doesn't mean a thing to me.

00:54:37.000 It really doesn't.

00:54:38.000 I just want to see, can Robbie Lawler beat Tyron Woodley?

00:54:42.000 Tyron Woodley beats Robbie Lawler.

00:54:44.000 I start thinking, okay, can Tyron Woodley beat George St. Pierre?

00:54:48.000 Is George St. Pierre ready to come back?

00:54:50.000 If he is, can Tyron Woodley beat him?

00:54:52.000 Or can George fight a really smart fight, a la the way Rory McDonald did?

00:54:57.000 And Rory McDonald shut down a lot of Tyron's offense in their fight and won a decision.

00:55:02.000 Or is Tyron better than he was then?

00:55:05.000 I want to see that.

00:55:05.000 Is he better?

00:55:07.000 Is he super confident now that he won the title?

00:55:10.000 Is it going to take him to some whole new level?

00:55:14.000 You beat a guy like Robbie Lawyer, you knock him out in one round.

00:55:17.000 You've got to think the momentum coming off of that has got to be stunning.

00:55:22.000 I would love to see fantasy UFC, like a show where they take maybe the fighters that have retired or people that aren't as good as the other fighters and have them almost do game show stuff.

00:55:31.000 You have to do a game and go, alright, so this fight, you have your shoes tied, you have to hold a banana and not crush it.

00:55:36.000 You have to protect this banana like it's a baby.

00:55:39.000 Fun things like that.

00:55:40.000 You know what I mean?

00:55:42.000 I hear what you're saying.

00:55:43.000 I think as a fight, it would still be fun just to throw in other options, almost like a video game.

00:55:50.000 You need to go to a doctor. 0.57

00:55:51.000 I've told you many times, something wrong with your brain.

00:55:54.000 You need competition still of some kind.

00:55:56.000 That's the ultimate fighter.

00:55:57.000 The fight is still a competition, but if you take away the belt, you still maybe want to have a tournament.

00:56:03.000 Not monthly, but maybe a quarterly tournament or a season of some kind.

00:56:07.000 So there's something...

00:56:08.000 Did you ever see what Showtime did in boxing with the middleweight division?

00:56:14.000 They had a whole series of events a few years back with Carl Frotch and a bunch of other...

00:56:22.000 Andre Ward was in it.

00:56:23.000 Super 6, is that what it is?

00:56:26.000 Super 6 world boxing classic and it was super middleweight and they got the best super middleweights in the world and they paired them off against each other in this long running series where they were all committed to fighting each other.

00:56:40.000 It was really interesting.

00:56:41.000 Really interesting as an idea, like as a combat sport idea.

00:56:45.000 And, you know, you think about like what that could mean for the future.

00:56:49.000 I think something like that for mixed martial arts would be gigantic.

00:56:52.000 And it could generate a lot of interest.

00:56:54.000 And it could be something where they put up a ton of money.

00:56:57.000 Like instead of a world title, like what if they had an invitational?

00:57:01.000 What if someone put together an invitational?

00:57:03.000 They made a deal with the UFC. They made a deal with...

00:57:06.000 You know, 1FC or whatever the organizations are that are valid, and you have a tournament where they're all gonna duke it out, and there's gonna be some sort of split of revenue of the pay-per-view of this one tournament, and you'll have this Super 6 type thing like they did with Showtime with boxing.

00:57:26.000 That'd be insane, man.

00:57:27.000 That'd be epic.

00:57:29.000 Isn't fighting for that revenue also maybe good?

00:57:32.000 Or is that bad because you could have extra problems with that maybe with people taking dives or back-end deals or whatnot?

00:57:39.000 I don't know.

00:57:39.000 I don't know how problems come in with that.

00:57:41.000 The real money in fighting is always in winning.

00:57:44.000 So, like, getting people to throw fights, boy, that's unusual.

00:57:48.000 It's so unusual in high-end fighting, because when a fighter loses, it's not just about losing that fight, it's also about they lost their last fight, so then they're coming into their next fight, As a loser, so they're getting less money, so people don't like them as much,

00:58:04.000 and, you know, if somebody hits you and you just fall down and pretend that you got knocked out, you can do that, and you can make money like that.

00:58:10.000 Somebody could bet you or promise you, right?

00:58:13.000 Someone could say, hey, dude, I'm betting 300 grand, and you go down the first round, I'll give you $100,000, bro.

00:58:17.000 I know you're only getting paid 20 grand.

00:58:20.000 And so you do that, and some dude...

00:58:21.000 That has totally been done in the world of boxing.

00:58:24.000 It's definitely happened.

00:58:25.000 I'm sure it's probably happened in the UFC. I'm not aware of it happening, but there's always the potential for people being deceptive.

00:58:32.000 It's happened in every sport, I'm pretty sure, at some point or another, at one time or another.

00:58:36.000 Yeah, wasn't there some NBA referee scandal?

00:58:39.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:58:40.000 Tim Donahue, I believe.

00:58:42.000 And he went to jail for it, too, and he was making bets on things that he knew from inside information, whether it's like...

00:58:49.000 This particular referee calls really bad against his team because maybe he doesn't like someone on the team or something like that.

00:58:56.000 They're not supposed to do that, but he was calling out information publicly.

00:58:58.000 I think he wrote a book about it. 1.00

00:59:00.000 All the referees also then said he's bullshit, he's an asshole, he's obviously a scumbag, he went to jail. 1.00

00:59:05.000 But when you look at the track records of some of these things that he was saying, it looks to say that there is some weight that he's, there's a little bit of water there that he's, something. 1.00

00:59:14.000 So whether or not it's legit.

00:59:15.000 A little bit of water there?

00:59:15.000 I didn't say that right.

00:59:17.000 A little bit of water.

00:59:18.000 I try to get that statement of there's, I like to pretend that I know what people are talking about. 0.98

00:59:22.000 Oh yeah, oh yeah, that fucking, a little bit of water in there, huh? 0.97

00:59:25.000 That statement holds water is what I was trying to say. 1.00

00:59:28.000 Holds water.

00:59:29.000 So he might have got framed.

00:59:30.000 I don't know about framed, but he definitely got caught in what he was doing.

00:59:35.000 And I think it was betting, sort of like maybe what Pete Rose did.

00:59:38.000 Right. 0.99

00:59:39.000 But then he wrote a book afterwards talking about all the stuff he knew and all the scumbag shit other referees were doing. 0.99

00:59:45.000 I don't think he called out names or anything like that. 0.95

00:59:47.000 But some people have wanted to talk to him and see what other things he knows.

00:59:52.000 Yeah.

00:59:53.000 Yeah, man, I would imagine if you have something where people bet on it, like professional sports, or even college sports, I would imagine there's so many people that bet on those games that there's always going to be, like, low lives.

01:00:07.000 Like, I know friends who use actual, real, old-school bookies.

01:00:11.000 Really?

01:00:12.000 Yeah, man, they use real bookies.

01:00:14.000 Real bookies still exist.

01:00:15.000 Tim Donahue, 100% of NBA referees gamble.

01:00:19.000 Ha! 0.89

01:00:20.000 When weird stuff was happening this year in the NBA, people always like to say that they are setting things up for money and ratings and whatnot.

01:00:29.000 And whoever wants to write an article will go to him and get a quote from him saying, this thing was fixed or this thing was staged.

01:00:35.000 It's unprovable usually, but he'll say it.

01:00:38.000 Right.

01:00:39.000 Should hire Amish people or something. 1.00

01:00:42.000 People that definitely don't care or have TVs.

01:00:44.000 Well, you know what, man?

01:00:46.000 Duh.

01:00:47.000 They're sports fans.

01:00:48.000 Most sports fans gamble. 0.94

01:00:50.000 That's another thing the government fucks us on. 0.73

01:00:52.000 How about that? 1.00

01:00:53.000 You should be able to gamble on whatever the fuck you want all over town. 0.94

01:00:58.000 And the idea that money won gambling should be taxed and that's why they're trying to keep it. 0.97

01:01:05.000 Listen, I didn't earn this money.

01:01:07.000 I bet.

01:01:08.000 You bet money to make money.

01:01:10.000 That is so different than earning money.

01:01:11.000 You tell me I earned it? 1.00

01:01:13.000 Fuck you, you crooks. 1.00

01:01:14.000 Unless it's scratch-offs or the lottery by the government. 1.00

01:01:18.000 Yes!

01:01:19.000 In that case, gamble, gamble, gamble.

01:01:21.000 With a fun logo and a big smile and you could win.

01:01:26.000 Powerball!

01:01:27.000 Woo! 0.99

01:01:29.000 It's a Powerball. 1.00

01:01:31.000 Yeah, fuck you. 1.00

01:01:32.000 Fuck you, overlords. 1.00

01:01:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:34.000 Fuck you for trying to keep weed from us. 1.00

01:01:37.000 Fuck you from the gambling. 1.00

01:01:38.000 Oh, gambling destroys families. 1.00

01:01:42.000 Gambling destroys families.

01:01:44.000 My uncle gambled and the family lost everything. 1.00

01:01:49.000 No, he's a retard. 1.00

01:01:51.000 Your uncle was a retard. 1.00

01:01:53.000 Retards lose everything. 1.00

01:01:54.000 They lose it through meth. 0.97

01:01:55.000 They lose it through gambling. 1.00

01:01:56.000 They lose it through sucking trucker dicks for crack money. 1.00

01:02:00.000 They lose it through all sorts of ways. 1.00

01:02:02.000 They're fucking crazy. 1.00

01:02:03.000 There's a certain amount of crazy people. 1.00

01:02:05.000 You can't blame gambling. 1.00

01:02:07.000 You fuck. 1.00

01:02:08.000 $1,200, if you win more, you're supposed to pay taxes on it. 1.00

01:02:11.000 Whoa.

01:02:12.000 You can claim losses, too, which is how some gamblers get through that.

01:02:16.000 Oh, you can claim losses?

01:02:17.000 Yeah, you don't have to say how much you gambled, I think, throughout a year, but if you get winnings, you can also claim losses against it.

01:02:22.000 Wow.

01:02:23.000 I didn't know that.

01:02:24.000 Yeah, it was a little trick.

01:02:25.000 Write that down.

01:02:26.000 Yeah, but they'll probably audit the fuck out if you try to do that.

01:02:29.000 You're probably like, oh, you think you're cute? 0.96

01:02:31.000 Check this out.

01:02:32.000 Boom! 1.00

01:02:33.000 Going deep in your asshole, son. 1.00

01:02:35.000 Looking for receipts. 1.00

01:02:36.000 Looking for receipts. 1.00

01:02:38.000 Deepen your asshole, son. 1.00

01:02:39.000 Yeah, they just have too much power. 1.00

01:02:41.000 They can shut your bank accounts down.

01:02:43.000 They can shut your credit cards down.

01:02:45.000 They can take your money from your boss before you go to court.

01:02:50.000 They can do a lot of stuff that they probably shouldn't be able to do. 0.99

01:02:55.000 But they have to get money from 350 million fucking people. 0.98

01:02:58.000 I mean, how many pay taxes? 0.99

01:03:00.000 Probably not 300 million, but...

01:03:01.000 I know so many people that told me they don't even do taxes.

01:03:04.000 They're like, oh, I don't do taxes.

01:03:05.000 Well, you're talking to like crazy comedians that'll eventually get caught.

01:03:08.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.74

01:03:09.000 You know, there was a big scandal in Boston.

01:03:11.000 There was one of...

01:03:12.000 I shouldn't say a scandal.

01:03:13.000 It was a dilemma.

01:03:14.000 It was a huge issue in Boston.

01:03:16.000 That I got to experience second-hand, fortunately, with the old-school comedians that were super successful there that didn't pay taxes. 0.98

01:03:24.000 It was a giant issue, because they got caught, and one got caught, and another got caught, and then the IRS people realized, oh, none of these fucking comedians pay taxes. 0.90

01:03:32.000 How much money are these guys making? 0.81

01:03:34.000 Because you'd go to certain comedy clubs and be the same guy almost every weekend.

01:03:39.000 They had these deals.

01:03:40.000 There were certain clubs, like Nick's Comedy Stop was a big one.

01:03:43.000 They had deals with the best comics in town.

01:03:45.000 So if you went by Nick's Comedy Stop on any given night in the late 80s, you would see like Steve, Sweeney, Don, Gavin.

01:03:55.000 They would be there every weekend.

01:03:56.000 So those places were packed.

01:03:58.000 They were all getting paid cash.

01:03:59.000 Or cocaine.

01:04:01.000 Shh! 0.97

01:04:02.000 Allegedly!

01:04:03.000 God, you have to say allegedly.

01:04:05.000 Allegedly.

01:04:05.000 I never got offered coke, but I also never got offered money.

01:04:09.000 I never worked there, really.

01:04:11.000 I'm not going to say who, but a friend of ours, every time he goes, Just give me cash! 1.00

01:04:16.000 Just give me cash, motherfucker. 0.99

01:04:20.000 Um, I think I might have worked there once or twice ever at Nick's, but I was never in the position where they could offer you coke. 1.00

01:04:26.000 I wasn't, I just wasn't in deep enough.

01:04:28.000 If I had worked there, it was like a, I'd emceed something and made, and then I came back and worked there, but that was after like, I had agents and they handled the financial part of things like later or later on.

01:04:38.000 But those stories were always there. 0.99

01:04:41.000 Those guys got paid in coke, those guys got, you know, but they just fucking were animals. 0.99

01:04:46.000 They were living like savages and they weren't paying their taxes and they, one by one, they all got Fucking thunderstruck and it was a Worst-case scenario because it was like here's the comedy boom, okay? 0.99

01:04:57.000 Here's like the 80s comedy boom where everybody's got rolled up sleeves on a fucking blazer and stand on stage did you ever notice and then everybody's doing that they're all Evening at the Improv can't get enough talent because there's just not enough comedians. 0.97

01:05:12.000 They need more. 0.84

01:05:13.000 Those shows are huge.

01:05:14.000 People love sitting in front of the TV, vegging out, watching Evening at the Improv.

01:05:18.000 So these comedy clubs explode all across the country. 0.99

01:05:21.000 I mean fucking explode. 0.99

01:05:23.000 But, as Joey Diaz likes to say, they couldn't cover the spread. 0.99

01:05:27.000 They couldn't cover the spread, Joe Rogan. 0.99

01:05:29.000 People get tired of seeing the same fucking act over and over again. 1.00

01:05:34.000 You're going out, you're buying a fucking babysitter. 1.00

01:05:37.000 And that's what happened. 1.00

01:05:38.000 It died off.

01:05:39.000 So these guys made all their money in the heyday. 0.98

01:05:43.000 And during the heyday, they're doing blowin' that fuckin' party. 0.94

01:05:46.000 Da-da [... 0.95

01:06:16.000 the comedy club.

01:06:17.000 And the comedy club has all these comics on roster.

01:06:20.000 You are amongst them.

01:06:22.000 You made X amount of dollars.

01:06:24.000 We got paid zero.

01:06:25.000 You owe us this plus a penalty, which is that.

01:06:29.000 And you just...

01:06:30.000 And the comedy clubs have dried up.

01:06:32.000 And they're getting older.

01:06:34.000 And a lot of them, they're just tired.

01:06:36.000 They're just drinking and partying all the time.

01:06:37.000 You get worn out.

01:06:38.000 And then all of a sudden, there's no more work.

01:06:40.000 The work dies off.

01:06:42.000 You haven't really done the road, so you don't have a national presence.

01:06:44.000 You only have a local presence. 1.00

01:06:47.000 And then the fucking money guys come in, just sucking it out of ya. 1.00

01:06:52.000 Or else I'm just gonna hook the straw up to your spine and pull the fluid out. 1.00

01:06:56.000 I recently had to go through all my stuff for the IRS, and nowadays it's a lot better, though, I guess, than it used to be, because if you're, say, a comedian, you go through and you just go, like, oh, comedy store.

01:07:08.000 I was at the comedy store.

01:07:09.000 I'm a comedian.

01:07:10.000 And I go to the comedy store almost every single day.

01:07:13.000 But you also realize that everything you do...

01:07:16.000 As a comic, that I could write off.

01:07:18.000 The parking next door, I can write off.

01:07:21.000 If I even get Netflix, I could write that off because I'm researching Netflix.

01:07:27.000 It's pretty amazing how much you can write off and how much it's documented nowadays because everyone's using their cards instead of paying cash for everything.

01:07:37.000 It's gotten better for comics, I think, now.

01:07:40.000 Back then, I couldn't even imagine just having all those receipts and just Being like, no, I swear this is for comedy.

01:07:46.000 It's kind of screwy, because if you're a writer, you can do that too.

01:07:49.000 If you're a writer, you can say that you're doing research and you go to the movies.

01:07:53.000 I don't do that.

01:07:55.000 You could, though.

01:07:56.000 I wouldn't.

01:07:57.000 There's something screwy about it, because yeah, I guess you could write it off.

01:08:01.000 I guess it's research, but really you're just having fun at the movies, aren't you?

01:08:04.000 Yeah.

01:08:05.000 You know?

01:08:06.000 Mm-hmm. 0.93

01:08:07.000 How many of those business lunches, though, I don't know if you've ever been on tons of them, but I used to work in restaurants where people would come in and would abuse the shit out of those credit cards and order steaks for 15 guys, and they're sitting there drinking whiskey at lunch, and they're not talking about business.

01:08:21.000 But it is business in the sense, like, say, like, Brian and I had a business opportunity for you, and we wanted you to get excited about it, so we're gonna take you out, we're gonna get you drunk, gonna buy you some steaks, And we're going to sit there and clink glasses together and we'll feel a little loose.

01:08:35.000 We'll have some camaraderie because of this booze.

01:08:37.000 We'll be feeling good.

01:08:39.000 And we'll be like, I like this venture.

01:08:40.000 I think this could be really successful.

01:08:42.000 I think we're going to work well together. 0.99

01:08:43.000 We're going to have a good fucking time. 1.00

01:08:44.000 Ah! 1.00

01:08:44.000 Clink! 1.00

01:08:45.000 That's a real business lunch.

01:08:47.000 100%.

01:08:47.000 But like in that movie on Wolf of Wall Street where they're sitting there and this dad's looking through all their money they spent on hookers and whatnot.

01:08:52.000 He's like, you really had to spend $78,000 on da-da-da.

01:08:55.000 We could have had lunch at McDonald's or Subway instead of having it at the Ivy or Koi or whatever and getting sushi.

01:09:04.000 We could have just got food.

01:09:06.000 Why did you have to spend $500?

01:09:08.000 You could have just spent $100, right?

01:09:09.000 Why did you guys have to have...

01:09:10.000 All the crazy steaks and $500 bottles of wine to talk about this meal. 1.00

01:09:15.000 It's the same kind of thought, like, what kind of fucking logic is that, pussy? 1.00

01:09:18.000 I'm just saying, like, why can't I watch Netflix? 1.00

01:09:22.000 You're going crazy!

01:09:25.000 It's been done plenty of times.

01:09:26.000 I've had friends that make their living off of it.

01:09:28.000 You're not going to impress anyone. 0.99

01:09:30.000 I understand, but Jamie, what you're saying is ridiculous. 0.72

01:09:32.000 You're talking about some big business on a budget. 0.91

01:09:35.000 We could have gone to McDonald's.

01:09:38.000 I'm just sort of making the...

01:09:39.000 Why spend $500 on the client when you can spend $500?

01:09:45.000 So don't spend any money on your research to make your job better.

01:09:47.000 Just watch people at the park instead of paying $10 to get better quality research.

01:09:53.000 You know what I mean?

01:09:53.000 That's all I'm...

01:09:54.000 That's the...

01:09:55.000 Watch people at the park.

01:09:56.000 That's free.

01:09:57.000 That's free entertainment.

01:09:58.000 How is that like taking in a movie?

01:10:00.000 I was making a comic skit.

01:10:03.000 Did you hit your head today?

01:10:04.000 No, no, I'm just saying...

01:10:05.000 Are you okay?

01:10:05.000 As a comic looking for material, if you're going to make the argument of saying, I need to get material, this is what I'm going to do to get my material.

01:10:13.000 There could be anything you want to do.

01:10:14.000 You could talk about basketball, you could talk about poker, you could talk about alcohol.

01:10:17.000 Unless you want to do a strip club joke and you're at a park trying to think of strip club jokes.

01:10:21.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:10:22.000 If you want to talk about strip clubs, you have to go to a strip club. 1.00

01:10:25.000 That's the most part.

01:10:26.000 This business guy making this big deal at lunch, I have to go to this lunch and I have to spend this money because I have to impress my clients.

01:10:34.000 They can't impress them at McDonald's.

01:10:35.000 You can make the arguments if you want all day long for the thing that is needed for your business.

01:10:41.000 That's the only thing I was trying to say.

01:10:42.000 Well, you mean from the employer's point of view of allowing this to happen, or from the person who's the salesperson that's out there with the business lunch?

01:10:48.000 Whoever's getting in trouble and needs to defend this action, I suppose.

01:10:53.000 Yeah, I could see both arguments, but honestly, I think for a lot of the people that have those accounts, it's kind of important that they form these relationships.

01:11:01.000 That's why a business lunch is actually an effective thing.

01:11:04.000 So I would think that a business lunch is one of the rare exceptions of something that makes fun that you write off, or makes sense, rather, that you write off.

01:11:11.000 But I could see that... 0.98

01:11:12.000 Movies do make sense, you know, like if you're a guy and you're You're writing your writer and you're writing a piece about modern horror movies about the lack of modern horror movies like if you're a modern if you're a fan of horror movies Fuck you have to wait a long time How long do you have to wait for a good goddamn vampire movie? 0.94

01:11:32.000 How long for a werewolf movie? 0.82

01:11:33.000 It's every 30 years. 0.99

01:11:35.000 God damn it. 0.99

01:11:37.000 Every now and then they tease you like Benicio Del Toro and that werewolf. 0.99

01:11:40.000 I'm like, oh, Benicio Del Toro, he's not going to fuck it up.

01:11:42.000 This is going to be amazing. 0.99

01:11:44.000 They fucked it up. 0.97

01:11:45.000 Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins and it's still blue. 0.97

01:11:49.000 Didn't Jack Nicholson make one?

01:11:50.000 Yeah, that was the worst with Michelle Pfeiffer when she was hot. 1.00

01:11:57.000 So hot.

01:11:59.000 I'll tell you, a horror movie.

01:12:00.000 I re-watched Deliverance the other day.

01:12:02.000 That's a horror movie. 0.65

01:12:02.000 I can't stop thinking about that squeal-like-a-pig scene. 0.65

01:12:06.000 What a creepy, realistic version of parts of life that goes on every single day, probably.

01:12:12.000 Probably, right? 0.98

01:12:13.000 That was a crazy-ass movie, man. 0.77

01:12:15.000 Is that Jack Nicholson? 1.00

01:12:16.000 That is so dumb. 1.00

01:12:19.000 Why does his forehead have zero hair? 1.00

01:12:21.000 Yeah, he's...

01:12:22.000 And when he turns into a wolfman, he's the same size, everything.

01:12:27.000 It's like, what do you have, more teeth?

01:12:31.000 Who's that, though?

01:12:31.000 That's not him, right?

01:12:33.000 That's not Jack Nicholson.

01:12:34.000 Is that a different one, or is that another scene in the movie?

01:12:37.000 Like, CGI. Yeah, I don't...

01:12:39.000 Ooh, Michelle Pfeiffer.

01:12:40.000 Jesus.

01:12:41.000 Who is that?

01:12:42.000 That's from it.

01:12:43.000 Is that from the movie?

01:12:44.000 Jack Nicholson, yeah.

01:12:45.000 Oh, that's what he looked like at the end?

01:12:46.000 So there was, like, stages of werewolfdom?

01:12:50.000 I don't even remember this movie.

01:12:51.000 This is eyes for something?

01:12:54.000 Oh, this is different.

01:12:55.000 Find out if there's a scene where you see what Jack Nicholson looked like.

01:12:58.000 I think it was called Wolf.

01:13:00.000 It was really corny.

01:13:01.000 They, like, jumped in slow motion. 1.00

01:13:04.000 Like, whenever, like, you're showing slow motion, first of all, you fucked up. 0.99

01:13:08.000 Horror movies should be about two second scenes. 0.99

01:13:11.000 Like, like, Alien.

01:13:13.000 Like, the first movie, Alien, was perfect.

01:13:14.000 You rarely got to see the alien.

01:13:16.000 And when you did see it, it was like... 1.00

01:13:19.000 Shit! 1.00

01:13:20.000 It was a perfect movie in that sense. 0.99

01:13:22.000 When you're seeing Jack Nicholson, who looks exactly like Jack Nicholson with a thicker beard, he looks like Jack Nicholson that would be a barista in a handcrafted coffee place in Seattle. 0.98

01:13:34.000 That's how fucking furry he is. 0.95

01:13:36.000 Oh, he's got slightly bigger teeth, which, by the way, you can buy. 0.98

01:13:39.000 Just like you can buy dental implants, you can buy those slightly bigger teeth. 1.00

01:13:43.000 So you essentially could look fucking exactly like Jack Nicholson in this stupid wolf movie. 1.00

01:13:48.000 You could get some fake eyes where you put contacts on that make you look scary. 1.00

01:13:54.000 And so he's jumping in slow motion.

01:13:57.000 And as he's jumping in slow motion, you realize, like, that's just like a person's body.

01:14:01.000 It's not even weird.

01:14:04.000 It's just a guy like this.

01:14:06.000 He's peeing on him here.

01:14:07.000 I do not remember this movie at all.

01:14:08.000 He peed on James Spader.

01:14:09.000 Oh, he did? 1.00

01:14:10.000 Remember James Spader before he was in this new fucking bullshit show he's in? 1.00

01:14:15.000 Huh? 0.99

01:14:16.000 That didn't look like James Spader at all.

01:14:18.000 Was it?

01:14:18.000 No, I'm just saying he looks way too young.

01:14:20.000 I guess this is old.

01:14:21.000 I think it was Spader.

01:14:23.000 That's 1984, right?

01:14:25.000 Yeah, I'm not disagreeing, I'm just saying.

01:14:26.000 Is it 84 or 94?

01:14:27.000 94. 94, sorry.

01:14:28.000 Wow, 94. Let's see what the wolf part of him looks like.

01:14:33.000 Because it was really bad.

01:14:35.000 I wish I was like friends with the people who were doing that movie, like back when it was happening.

01:14:42.000 She turns into a wolf here. 0.99

01:14:43.000 Oh, she does?

01:14:44.000 Whatever.

01:14:45.000 How bad is this gonna look?

01:14:47.000 Come on.

01:14:48.000 What is she doing?

01:14:48.000 She's running as the wolf?

01:14:50.000 Did we miss the transition?

01:14:52.000 That's like half the werewolf movie, man.

01:14:54.000 If you go to, like, Lone Chaney.

01:14:55.000 See, Lone Chaney Jr., he had an excuse.

01:14:59.000 Go to the wolfman.

01:15:00.000 The old wolfman.

01:15:02.000 Look at James Spader down there.

01:15:03.000 Look at that handsome wolf fella.

01:15:04.000 Look at him.

01:15:05.000 Look at him.

01:15:05.000 See?

01:15:06.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:15:07.000 That's that dude that's on that Blacklist show.

01:15:09.000 Yeah.

01:15:10.000 Looks like he drinks a lot of water now.

01:15:13.000 Go back.

01:15:14.000 Okay, just Google Lone Chaney the Wolfman.

01:15:19.000 So that was the Wolfman from 2010 that you just pulled up, which is pretty fun.

01:15:23.000 I put it on the background sometimes when I'm writing, just because visually it's kind of interesting.

01:15:28.000 But if the top one, the top one, that's Lone Chaney as the werewolf.

01:15:33.000 So this is like, find out what year this is, man, because this is like, oh, this is just an award show.

01:15:41.000 He's the classic wolfman, though.

01:15:43.000 Yeah.

01:15:43.000 You see, like, the monster mash and stuff.

01:15:45.000 Well, it was so goofy.

01:15:48.000 Claude Rains.

01:15:52.000 1941. Go full screen.

01:15:56.000 This is exciting.

01:15:57.000 So this is a trailer for a movie back in the time where they didn't even have trailers.

01:16:01.000 Somebody must have made this after the fact, probably.

01:16:04.000 As the wolfman.

01:16:06.000 Let's do the mash.

01:16:08.000 Tony Williams was killed?

01:16:09.000 Yes.

01:16:10.000 Find something?

01:16:10.000 Animal tracks.

01:16:11.000 Whoever is beaten by a werewolf and lives becomes a werewolf himself.

01:16:17.000 Oh, don't hand me that.

01:16:19.000 You're just wasting your time.

01:16:21.000 The wolf bit you, didn't he?

01:16:23.000 Oh, don't hand me that.

01:16:25.000 He had just wasted your time.

01:16:27.000 You wouldn't want to run away with a murderer, would you?

01:16:29.000 Larry, you're not.

01:16:30.000 You know you're not. 0.99

01:16:32.000 I killed Baylor. 0.99

01:16:34.000 I killed Richardson. 0.99

01:16:36.000 If I stay here any longer, you can't tell who'll be next. 0.94

01:16:43.000 Look at these special effects.

01:16:46.000 Good lord.

01:16:47.000 Look at him.

01:16:49.000 The girl's yelling. 1.00

01:16:51.000 She's barely fighting.

01:16:52.000 Yeah.

01:16:53.000 She just kind of gave up.

01:16:54.000 I'll take it.

01:16:56.000 She was psyched.

01:16:58.000 The bloodlust of a savage beast, the Wolfman.

01:17:03.000 I wonder if that's a real trailer, or if that's something a fan created.

01:17:06.000 That looks like a real trailer.

01:17:08.000 It does, but I didn't think they had trailers.

01:17:10.000 Did they have trailers back then?

01:17:11.000 Oh yeah, they had trailers.

01:17:12.000 In 1941?

01:17:13.000 Yeah, they had trailers back then.

01:17:14.000 Did they?

01:17:14.000 Mm-hmm.

01:17:15.000 Really?

01:17:15.000 Absolutely.

01:17:16.000 Oh, wow.

01:17:17.000 I didn't think they did, man.

01:17:18.000 I know that for some movies, like when you go to iTunes and you go to click on trailer for some really shitty movies, they don't really have a trailer.

01:17:25.000 They just take a chunk of the movie, like, stick it in there. 0.98

01:17:27.000 Who gives a fuck? 1.00

01:17:28.000 No one's watching this piece of shit movie. 1.00

01:17:30.000 I did that the other day. 1.00

01:17:31.000 It was some horror movie, and I tried to watch it, and I said, let me see what the trailer is.

01:17:35.000 The trailer wasn't a trailer at all.

01:17:36.000 It was just like they just took a snip.

01:17:38.000 What do you want, like four minutes?

01:17:40.000 How long you want the trailer?

01:17:41.000 Five minutes.

01:17:42.000 Any five minutes in particular?

01:17:44.000 A good five?

01:17:47.000 Titty.

01:17:47.000 They find titty to put that in there.

01:17:49.000 I mean, that's a super common thing.

01:17:52.000 I wonder what year they invented the trailer, if you had to guess.

01:17:55.000 46. 46?

01:17:57.000 Well, that's 41. Okay, 36. 26. It certainly looks like a real trailer.

01:18:04.000 The font's perfect, but how bad is the acting?

01:18:08.000 Even with a murderer?

01:18:10.000 Dude, there's bad acting in movies that I thought were amazing ten years ago.

01:18:13.000 First trailer was shown in a U.S. film theater in 1913. Whoa!

01:18:19.000 That's amazing.

01:18:21.000 Wow. 0.99

01:18:22.000 And we've been fucked ever since then. 0.99

01:18:25.000 Advertising should be illegal, right? 1.00

01:18:30.000 It's too easy to fuck with our heads. 0.99

01:18:32.000 I like trailers more than I like movies. 0.99

01:18:34.000 How about that? 0.93

01:18:35.000 Because it's a fucking juicy, like, they figured out how to make it into a little sound bite. 0.99

01:18:40.000 Makes me excited. 0.98

01:18:41.000 That's what happened with Suicide Squad, apparently.

01:18:44.000 They made that cool trailer that came out earlier last year, and everyone really liked that, and, uh...

01:18:49.000 The Warner Brothers company, this is what I read, they were afraid it wasn't going to be that cool, it wasn't going to look like that, it wasn't going to deliver on that promise.

01:18:56.000 Well, they were also freaked out because of Batman and Superman failed so hard.

01:19:00.000 So they hired that company that made that trailer to re-edit the movie that the director was making at the same time they were making it.

01:19:05.000 So there was two cuts going around at the same time, and then they molded them together at the end of the summers.

01:19:10.000 Oh, too many cooks. 1.00

01:19:11.000 Too much cum. 1.00

01:19:12.000 Too much cum in the egg drop soup. 0.99

01:19:14.000 They actually added jokes. 0.94

01:19:16.000 They had to reshoot a lot of stuff to add more humor to it.

01:19:19.000 They edited out the Joker completely.

01:19:20.000 But all you know is that the director's cut's probably going to be better.

01:19:23.000 Wait a minute.

01:19:23.000 They edited out the Joker?

01:19:24.000 A lot.

01:19:24.000 I thought that was a big thing with Jared Leto.

01:19:26.000 No, no.

01:19:26.000 They edited a lot of the Joker out.

01:19:28.000 Most of the Joker out.

01:19:29.000 He's barely in that movie, I heard.

01:19:30.000 Really?

01:19:31.000 I refuse to watch it.

01:19:32.000 You heard?

01:19:32.000 No, no.

01:19:33.000 I read.

01:19:33.000 You read.

01:19:34.000 Is that true?

01:19:35.000 He complained about it, too?

01:19:37.000 Oh, man.

01:19:38.000 He's not even in the poster.

01:19:39.000 He looked dope.

01:19:40.000 Did you notice that?

01:19:41.000 He's not even in the poster.

01:19:42.000 One of the main characters is not even in the poster. 0.96

01:19:45.000 Well, in all fairness, who the fuck knows what happened? 0.86

01:19:48.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:19:49.000 You know, this Jared Leto character, who knows what kind of wacky shenanigans he was up to.

01:19:54.000 He was doing weird stuff to the cast in character the whole time.

01:19:58.000 Oh, was he?

01:19:59.000 Yeah.

01:19:59.000 And so he pissed him off?

01:20:00.000 I don't know about the cast.

01:20:01.000 He was just supposedly...

01:20:03.000 Became an issue?

01:20:04.000 I don't know.

01:20:05.000 Yeah, there you go.

01:20:06.000 I can see that coming.

01:20:07.000 I read somewhere, I don't know if it's true, if Will Smith...

01:20:10.000 I love saying that.

01:20:11.000 I know.

01:20:12.000 I didn't research it, but I read that Will Smith hates him and publicly said he hates him.

01:20:18.000 Jared Leto?

01:20:19.000 Yeah.

01:20:19.000 Wow.

01:20:20.000 If Will Smith hates you...

01:20:21.000 But I don't know if it's true, though.

01:20:22.000 Did you hear about The Rock yesterday coming out, publicly talking about Fast and the Furious 8 castmates that were being divas on set?

01:20:29.000 And it was causing a big rift.

01:20:31.000 And all of his castmates, like Kurt Russell's in it, Tyrese, Vin Diesel obviously is in it, a couple people.

01:20:36.000 He didn't publicly say who it was, but the way it came out, it was like an Instagram post.

01:20:41.000 And so everyone was...

01:20:43.000 He's hounding all of his castmates asking who it was and what was really going on.

01:20:47.000 It turns out it was Vin Diesel and they had it out in his trailer yesterday.

01:20:51.000 What was going on with Vin Diesel?

01:20:52.000 He's showing up late to set.

01:20:54.000 He's a producer on the movie, though, too.

01:20:56.000 He's 28. He makes a lot of money on these movies.

01:21:00.000 Yeah, he wears sunglasses inside.

01:21:04.000 That's always the weirdest thing when people wear sunglasses.

01:21:06.000 You can do that if you're P. Diddy.

01:21:08.000 There's like certain people that can do that.

01:21:10.000 You can do that Vin Diesel.

01:21:12.000 Look at this.

01:21:14.000 Fast ate beef. 1.00

01:21:15.000 It was reportedly Vin Diesel the rock was calling a candy ass. 0.95

01:21:18.000 This is the best viral promotion of a film that has- Vin Diesel's a large gentleman, but I would bet everything I've ever made on the gentleman to the right with the goatee. 0.95

01:21:27.000 Like, everything, everything I know.

01:21:29.000 Me too.

01:21:30.000 My life.

01:21:30.000 Everything I've ever made.

01:21:31.000 My life.

01:21:32.000 The future of the world itself.

01:21:34.000 I'd bet it on The Rock.

01:21:36.000 The Rock's awesome.

01:21:37.000 Well, he's an inspirational character, too. 0.97

01:21:39.000 Like, um, he's a dude who gets up in the fuck, what does it say? 0.97

01:21:43.000 The Rock walks back, his name calling, but Vin Diesel lives for drama. 0.99

01:21:48.000 Hmm.

01:21:48.000 I don't know what that means.

01:21:51.000 He's like, maybe just relax and said, what am I doing?

01:21:53.000 Why am I wasting my time here?

01:21:55.000 It is why, I mean, he's the number one most highly paid actor in the world.

01:22:00.000 He's number one.

01:22:01.000 So, you know, this is always going to be drama. 1.00

01:22:07.000 There's going to be people that fuck with you when you're number one. 1.00

01:22:10.000 There's that. 0.99

01:22:11.000 There's going to be issues you have.

01:22:12.000 You're working with some dude.

01:22:14.000 And there's also probably a lot of bullshit stories that are put into the TMZs just so you have some prior advertising of a movie that no one even knew was being filmed.

01:22:23.000 But this isn't even TMZ, right? 0.89

01:22:26.000 This is his own Instagram page.

01:22:27.000 You can say that they're doing it on purpose?

01:22:29.000 Yeah.

01:22:30.000 Maybe.

01:22:30.000 I mean, Special of the Rocks is such a prankster anyways, you know?

01:22:33.000 That's a good point.

01:22:34.000 That's a good point. 0.98

01:22:35.000 Calling a dude a candy ass does sound like pro wrestling talk. 0.95

01:22:37.000 I don't trust anything anymore. 0.98

01:22:39.000 Like, for the longest time, I don't trust...

01:22:40.000 I used to think Rotten Tomatoes was, like, completely legit, right?

01:22:44.000 But then you start seeing movies on Rotten Tomatoes, and you're like, I saw that movie.

01:22:47.000 There's no way that's a 98%. 0.82

01:22:49.000 How in the fuck is that a 98%? 0.82

01:22:51.000 Then I heard from somebody that they only picked the top comic... 0.96

01:22:55.000 or top reviewers...

01:22:58.000 They don't use the same reviewers for every movie.

01:23:01.000 So they'll have 10 top reviewers for this movie and only 5 for this movie.

01:23:06.000 They're almost picking and choosing.

01:23:07.000 Then me and Jamie were talking about, we found out who owns Rotten Tomatoes.

01:23:13.000 Viacom owns Rotten Tomatoes.

01:23:15.000 It's not Viacom.

01:23:16.000 Fandango owns it.

01:23:18.000 And then Fandango's owned by Universal and Universal's owned by Comcast.

01:23:21.000 And Universal and Sony...

01:23:24.000 Welcome to the Terror Dome!

01:23:29.000 Come on down! 1.00

01:23:30.000 And all that fucking thing is is selling TV shows and movies. 0.99

01:23:35.000 They make those. 0.98

01:23:37.000 Okay, but doesn't Rotten Tomatoes operate under user criticisms?

01:23:42.000 Say like it uses the top reviewers.

01:23:44.000 Say like there's a hundred reviewers that they choose from.

01:23:47.000 They choose from?

01:23:48.000 Yeah.

01:23:49.000 They don't use the same reviewers for every movie I've been looking.

01:23:52.000 What?

01:23:53.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

01:23:55.000 So, but you're saying they choose the reviewers.

01:23:58.000 The same reviewers, they're not reviewing every movie, are they?

01:24:01.000 Is there like an industry in reviewing things?

01:24:03.000 Well, if you look at, say, let's see what movie's coming out.

01:24:06.000 Sausage Party right now.

01:24:07.000 Right.

01:24:08.000 Look at who's reviewed that movie.

01:24:10.000 Then look at a movie that's also opening this Friday.

01:24:13.000 See how many of those reviewers are the same.

01:24:15.000 They're not the same reviewers all the time, 100%.

01:24:17.000 How many people are reviewing a movie on Rotten Tomatoes?

01:24:21.000 Like, when they give those tomato numbers.

01:24:23.000 Right.

01:24:24.000 How many people are doing that?

01:24:25.000 It's gotta be thousands.

01:24:27.000 No, they have user reviews, and then they have professional reviewers.

01:24:32.000 What?

01:24:33.000 74 reviews?

01:24:35.000 What?

01:24:36.000 Wait a minute.

01:24:37.000 Oh, this is a critics' consensus.

01:24:41.000 Yes.

01:24:42.000 Wait a minute, was it always that way?

01:24:43.000 Yes.

01:24:44.000 They've always been separated through critics and then user reviews, and there's been a separate icon that you're supposed to pay attention to.

01:24:50.000 I always just go to the app.

01:24:52.000 Right.

01:24:53.000 And then if you scroll down, though, if you scroll down, they have...

01:24:57.000 That's actually Yelp.

01:24:58.000 Go to the Yelp app.

01:24:59.000 Rotten Tomatoes doesn't even have an app, do they?

01:25:01.000 Yeah, they do.

01:25:02.000 Do they make that app?

01:25:02.000 Yeah, they do.

01:25:03.000 They have an app.

01:25:04.000 But then they have the reviewers.

01:25:05.000 And then a lot of these reviewers, there's somebody that actually chooses if it's rotten or not.

01:25:10.000 I clicked on a few of these, what they're called fresh reviews, where it's supposed to be positive review, and they...

01:25:17.000 If you go through it, you're like, how did they get positive from this?

01:25:20.000 This sounds like they were kind of on the fence, like a 50-50%, you know?

01:25:23.000 But then, it's like all, none of it makes real sense.

01:25:26.000 There's no real math on this at all. 0.99

01:25:29.000 It's pretty bullshit. 0.99

01:25:31.000 That's interesting that you just pointed that out. 0.99

01:25:34.000 It's interesting that it's critics.

01:25:36.000 I really thought that the whole purpose of those things was reviewers being like regular people.

01:25:42.000 Yeah.

01:25:42.000 If you look at a site like Metacritic, that seems like it's a little bit less biased and more factual.

01:25:49.000 And that makes more sense.

01:25:50.000 Because there's been so many movies on here lately that have been like, that's impossible that that's a 90%.

01:25:55.000 Yeah, because if you had a movie, you could just juice these guys, take them to business lunch, clink, clink, air quotes.

01:26:02.000 You said Metacritic.

01:26:03.000 I just went to their website, and they're owned by CBS Interactive.

01:26:06.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:26:07.000 Never mind.

01:26:08.000 Christ. 1.00

01:26:10.000 God damn it! 0.99

01:26:11.000 I had no idea about that. 1.00

01:26:12.000 CBS Interactive, you motherfuckers. 1.00

01:26:14.000 That's Viacom. 1.00

01:26:15.000 We're being bought and sold!

01:26:18.000 We're bought and sold, ladies and gentlemen.

01:26:21.000 Look at this movie.

01:26:22.000 Now, if you go to this one and look at the same movies, like Sausage Party or whatever it is, it won't match up. 0.91

01:26:27.000 Shouldn't they match up if they both do the exact same fucking thing in their own from the same company? 0.98

01:26:32.000 Oh, I hate life. 0.98

01:26:34.000 They're not owned by the same company.

01:26:35.000 One of them is owned by CBS, the other one is owned by Universal.

01:26:38.000 Right.

01:26:39.000 But yeah, notice how many reviewers on this one compared to how many reviewers on the one that's Universal, with Sony and Universal, work together if not owned by the same company.

01:26:47.000 Right.

01:26:48.000 How many different, what was the numbers for Metacritic?

01:26:51.000 Yeah, how many?

01:26:51.000 74 versus, what did Metacritic have?

01:27:01.000 Less!

01:27:01.000 Yeah, this is for critic reviews.

01:27:03.000 They have 27, 6, 30, 34 or so.

01:27:05.000 Just 34. Ha!

01:27:08.000 Sorry, folks.

01:27:09.000 We had to get medicated.

01:27:11.000 So Metacritic is pulling from not the same pool as Rotten Tomatoes.

01:27:16.000 Where are all these extra reviewers coming from Rotten Tomatoes on a movie that you guys are behind?

01:27:21.000 It's a bunch of people that are, you know...

01:27:23.000 Look, if you had a...

01:27:24.000 Say there's a network, right?

01:27:26.000 Like, okay.

01:27:27.000 There's a network of podcasters, right?

01:27:29.000 We're all kind of...

01:27:30.000 Whether or not we're networked together officially, we're all connected, right?

01:27:34.000 Well, you know, kind of...

01:27:36.000 Movie reviewer type characters that are like online movie reviewer dudes.

01:27:41.000 If they say, hey man, you want to get in with this Rotten Tomatoes thing?

01:27:44.000 It's really cool.

01:27:44.000 You have to go to seven movies a week and you get paid really well and you just write these little things about it.

01:27:51.000 You're encouraged to support the big ones.

01:27:53.000 Just be fair in your criticism.

01:27:54.000 You don't have to make things up.

01:27:55.000 If you don't like something, just be fair.

01:27:57.000 Okay, cool.

01:27:58.000 And then you go in there, and then you got steady money.

01:28:00.000 You got steady money coming your way.

01:28:02.000 I don't know how much it is, but I would imagine a company like Rotten Tomatoes, which you've used, I've used, so many people have used to see a movie, they probably make some cash, right?

01:28:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:28:14.000 Have to.

01:28:15.000 They have to.

01:28:15.000 Everybody knows it.

01:28:16.000 Yeah.

01:28:16.000 Who doesn't know about Rotten Tomatoes?

01:28:18.000 Right.

01:28:18.000 I mean, they advertise movies on Rotten Tomatoes that they judge.

01:28:22.000 Yeah.

01:28:22.000 Doesn't that seem kind of weird?

01:28:24.000 Well, the problem is, even if it was, like, totally legit in the beginning.

01:28:28.000 Right.

01:28:29.000 Which I believe.

01:28:30.000 After a while, someone comes along with you, like, even the Fertittas sold the UFC, okay?

01:28:35.000 Just be aware.

01:28:36.000 Like, at a certain point in time, no matter how rich you are, someone comes along with a good number, and you go, uh-huh.

01:28:42.000 Alright.

01:28:43.000 Okay.

01:28:44.000 So we'll still be able to review movies.

01:28:46.000 I can be honest.

01:28:47.000 You can be fair.

01:28:49.000 Can you be fair?

01:28:49.000 I can be fair.

01:28:50.000 I can be fair.

01:28:51.000 Let's do this.

01:28:52.000 Let's go on a business lunch.

01:28:54.000 Woo! 0.99

01:28:54.000 Next thing you know, it's Chip Club. 0.99

01:28:57.000 Steaks.

01:28:57.000 Strippers.

01:29:02.000 We're gonna be in business forever! 0.99

01:29:04.000 We'll be killing forever. 0.93

01:29:05.000 We're gonna die someday. 0.98

01:29:06.000 We're not dying, bro! 0.99

01:29:08.000 We're not fucking dying! 1.00

01:29:10.000 We're gonna take hormones and we're gonna go to a fucking doctor in Brazil and he's gonna shoot us up with the same shit that they shot up Michelle Pfeiffer with. 1.00

01:29:17.000 She looks perfect. 1.00

01:29:20.000 She looks really similar to how she looked in that wolf movie.

01:29:22.000 Selena Gomez right now.

01:29:23.000 I just saw her in person the other day.

01:29:25.000 She's 12. She's 12 years old.

01:29:27.000 And she's so small and hot.

01:29:28.000 She's a little tiny person.

01:29:29.000 What's wrong with you?

01:29:30.000 You know, it's so weird.

01:29:32.000 They really gave me...

01:29:33.000 I got to go to the Sausage Party premiere and I got to be on the red carpet with all the celebrities and stuff.

01:29:37.000 And it was really...

01:29:38.000 It was my first time ever doing something like that level.

01:29:40.000 But I got to see everyone in person that I've always seen, like Selena Gomez and that Josh...

01:29:45.000 What's that guy's name again?

01:29:46.000 Josh from Limitless or...

01:29:48.000 Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

01:29:49.000 All these guys that I've seen so many times, they're so small and...

01:29:53.000 Like, in real life, it's so weird seeing them.

01:29:56.000 They seem like little versions of everybody.

01:29:58.000 It's so cool.

01:29:59.000 It's cool and interesting.

01:30:00.000 Well, you're not a big guy.

01:30:01.000 You're my size.

01:30:02.000 Yeah, I know.

01:30:03.000 But you think, I guess because you think of them as superheroes, you know, in a lot of these movies and stuff.

01:30:09.000 If I had a dollar for every time someone said, you're shorter than I thought you would be, to me, I'd have a hundred dollars.

01:30:15.000 Right.

01:30:17.000 Probably have $100.

01:30:18.000 I'm not kidding.

01:30:19.000 Right.

01:30:19.000 Michael Cera, by the way, he was the weirdest guy.

01:30:22.000 Michael Cera.

01:30:22.000 Who's that?

01:30:23.000 He was in Kick-Ass.

01:30:26.000 Is that Scott?

01:30:26.000 Oh, that guy?

01:30:27.000 No.

01:30:28.000 Scott Pilgrim.

01:30:29.000 Remember Scott Pilgrim?

01:30:30.000 Oh, yeah.

01:30:31.000 Okay.

01:30:31.000 He's weird?

01:30:32.000 Yeah.

01:30:32.000 Well, he just looked...

01:30:33.000 That guy's weird?

01:30:34.000 Yeah, well, he just has a weird...

01:30:35.000 Vibed him.

01:30:36.000 He's like a...

01:30:36.000 He's probably a little uncomfortable.

01:30:38.000 That's why he's funny.

01:30:38.000 Yeah.

01:30:39.000 Hipster.

01:30:39.000 Like a homeless hipster.

01:30:40.000 That's what he looked like.

01:30:41.000 Step from the 60s.

01:30:42.000 That dude is so funny.

01:30:44.000 I love that guy.

01:30:44.000 I think that whenever someone's that funny, I always assume there's something going on.

01:30:49.000 Right.

01:30:49.000 Some kind of crazy.

01:30:51.000 You know, he's that funny. 1.00

01:30:53.000 He's a funny fucking guy, man. 0.99

01:30:55.000 That movie Kick-Ass is still one of my... 0.99

01:30:57.000 Scott Pilgrim.

01:30:58.000 Scott Pilgrim.

01:30:59.000 Yeah.

01:30:59.000 And Superbad, too.

01:31:00.000 Superbad is my favorite. 0.57

01:31:02.000 It's like that scene when Jonah Hill's just drawn dicks in school.

01:31:05.000 I remember I was literally like lying. 0.80

01:31:07.000 I watched it by myself.

01:31:08.000 And I was lying sideways on my couch, kicking and paddling in the air.

01:31:14.000 Like, ah! 0.99

01:31:15.000 Because he kept drawing dicks. 0.99

01:31:17.000 I was like, why do you keep drawing dicks? 0.99

01:31:19.000 I'm like, that's something I would totally have done. 0.98

01:31:23.000 I still do it to this day.

01:31:24.000 Half these notebook pads have sticks on.

01:31:26.000 I know.

01:31:26.000 David Cho.

01:31:27.000 Whenever David Cho's in here, he's drawing dicks. 0.99

01:31:29.000 Oh my god. 0.98

01:31:30.000 I love that. 1.00

01:31:32.000 He's got all different colored dicks. 0.99

01:31:36.000 So perfect. 1.00

01:31:37.000 Yeah, dicks, boobs, and eyeballs were my power three. 0.99

01:31:42.000 Was it Jonah Hill that did it, or was it him? 0.99

01:31:44.000 Yeah, it was Jonah Hill. 0.96

01:31:45.000 God, it's fucking funny, man. 0.98

01:31:46.000 It's all Jonah Hill. 0.98

01:31:48.000 Cool.

01:31:49.000 Is Sausage Party funny?

01:31:51.000 Be honest. 1.00

01:31:52.000 Don't rotten tomatoes me, you fuck. 1.00

01:31:53.000 I'll tell you the full truth. 1.00

01:31:54.000 I've been waiting for this movie for a long-ass time, because it's kind of like a dream movie, doing a Pixar movie and having a dirty, like an old Fritz the Cat or something.

01:32:02.000 Right.

01:32:03.000 And, you know, there's a couple scenes in there that kind of are very, very fun to watch.

01:32:07.000 But overall, it was just like having a kid's movie where they cussed at.

01:32:11.000 And it was like, you know, really kind of like, oh God, oh geez.

01:32:16.000 I got bored.

01:32:17.000 That was the biggest thing.

01:32:18.000 I just got really bored while watching it.

01:32:20.000 And I was not expecting that.

01:32:21.000 I was expecting that this would be the best movie.

01:32:23.000 I get a tattoo of it on my arm or something.

01:32:24.000 But no, it was one of the biggest letdowns I've ever had.

01:32:28.000 See Rotten Tomatoes?

01:32:29.000 That's called reality.

01:32:31.000 And the internet's coming for you, son.

01:32:32.000 And I love Seth Rogen movies.

01:32:34.000 That's my favorite.

01:32:35.000 Like, if there was a class of movies, Seth Rogen movies are my top favorite.

01:32:39.000 But it just didn't, like, it was cheesy.

01:32:42.000 Like, they called it juice, juice.

01:32:44.000 And there's, like, all these, like, things where you're just like, oh, God.

01:32:46.000 It's like open mic night.

01:32:47.000 Oh, man.

01:32:49.000 Brian coming down hard on the sausage party.

01:32:52.000 Yeah.

01:32:53.000 I mean, I really, maybe I was just in a mood.

01:32:56.000 Here's a little bit of a correction?

01:32:57.000 No, maybe I was just in a mood.

01:32:59.000 I will definitely watch it again and see if, but it seemed like a kid's movie where they cuss.

01:33:03.000 That's pretty much.

01:33:03.000 Like, if I'm going to do the first or like a new version of like an adult cartoon, I'm going to show nudity.

01:33:11.000 I'm going to get that NC-17 rating or unrating.

01:33:14.000 I'm going balls deep.

01:33:16.000 Okay.

01:33:17.000 You know?

01:33:17.000 Okay, but you know that's not what they were trying to do.

01:33:20.000 I mean, they do it.

01:33:22.000 In the movie, spoiler alert...

01:33:25.000 Don't, don't, don't.

01:33:26.000 Alright, I'll change it then.

01:33:28.000 The movie ends very graphic. 0.99

01:33:31.000 Does it end as graphic as like Team America World Police when they're fucking shit on each other? 0.97

01:33:35.000 Yeah, it goes over it, but imagine if it was made for Cinemax... 0.99

01:33:40.000 Oh, okay.

01:33:41.000 So you can see nipple, but no lips.

01:33:43.000 No, these are all just pieces of lettuce and tacos and stuff.

01:33:47.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:33:49.000 Don't say anymore.

01:33:50.000 You've already confused me enough where I can forget what you said and just cross it off to you being you.

01:33:56.000 Right.

01:33:57.000 But no, I mean, it's unfortunate.

01:33:59.000 Well, you know what, man?

01:34:01.000 Did you see Ghostbusters? 1.00

01:34:03.000 Fuck no. 1.00

01:34:04.000 Okay. 1.00

01:34:06.000 Here's my thinking.

01:34:07.000 Did you?

01:34:08.000 Yes, I did.

01:34:08.000 Oh, God.

01:34:09.000 My girls want to see it. 1.00

01:34:10.000 Alright.

01:34:10.000 It's a perfect movie for an eight-year-old girl.

01:34:12.000 Can I hear your review?

01:34:12.000 It's a perfect movie for an eight-year-old girl.

01:34:15.000 That's my review.

01:34:16.000 Had she seen the original?

01:34:17.000 It's kind of scary.

01:34:17.000 She doesn't have to.

01:34:19.000 Here's the thing about watching Ghostbusters in its new form.

01:34:23.000 If the original didn't exist, it's kind of a fun movie. 1.00

01:34:27.000 It's stupid. 0.99

01:34:28.000 There's some giant leaps. 1.00

01:34:30.000 There's some kind of clunky writing, but there's also some funny shit. 0.98

01:34:35.000 There's some funny moments. 0.98

01:34:36.000 I heard it was all man-hating and it ends with...

01:34:39.000 Not all man-hating, but definitely a lot of man-hating. 1.00

01:34:41.000 There was definitely every dude in the movie was a dork. 0.98

01:34:45.000 But it's not... 0.86

01:34:46.000 The only one who was really unbelievable, that literally wasn't believable, was Chris Helmsworth.

01:34:52.000 The guy?

01:34:53.000 Yeah.

01:34:53.000 I heard he was awesome in that movie.

01:34:55.000 He's really good.

01:34:55.000 I heard he was awesome in it.

01:34:56.000 He's really funny. 1.00

01:34:57.000 But he's so stupid in the movie that it's unbelievable. 1.00

01:35:02.000 And these girls are constantly enamored with him, in love with him, but they can't believe how dumb he is. 1.00

01:35:08.000 That's sort of this running gag, to the point where it's almost ridiculous. 0.99

01:35:12.000 But, here's what I think. 1.00

01:35:14.000 I think if that bothers you, what kind of a bitch are you that's really bothering you? 1.00

01:35:20.000 That these women are shitting on men to the point where they're taking Chris Helmsworth and they're making him dumb? 1.00

01:35:26.000 Out of all the dumb bitches that have been in movies, can't we have one movie where there's three... 1.00

01:35:31.000 Not so good looking girls take over the fucking world and save everybody and have the dudes be all fucked up looking or a mess or crazy or Chris Helmsworth and Chris Helmsworth who's perfect and beautiful also like the dumbest human being that's ever walked the face of the planet and an actor showing his head shots like the whole deal you're like super cliche I never go to the movies anymore because of the problem I'm having with things like Ghostbusters, 0.99

01:35:58.000 though, and stuff where the hype doesn't live up to the movie. 0.99

01:36:01.000 The movie sucks so bad, I can't believe I popped up. 0.98

01:36:03.000 It didn't have to suck. 1.00

01:36:04.000 That was my point. 0.96

01:36:05.000 It didn't have to suck. 1.00

01:36:06.000 There was some funny shit in the movie. 0.99

01:36:08.000 I don't want to give away any parts of it, but there were some clever turns in the beginning of the movie where I laughed. 0.99

01:36:14.000 I was like, this is funny.

01:36:15.000 This is funny.

01:36:16.000 And I thought to myself, I was trying to watch that movie saying, if I saw this movie without having known about the first movie, what would I think about it?

01:36:23.000 Especially because I'm taking my kids, right?

01:36:24.000 It's a good movie to take kids to.

01:36:26.000 It's fun. 0.99

01:36:26.000 Silly. 0.99

01:36:27.000 It's kind of scary. 0.99

01:36:28.000 Like, whoa, but it's obviously really fake.

01:36:31.000 It wasn't that bad.

01:36:33.000 It wasn't the point where anybody would get mad.

01:36:35.000 The only reason why anybody got mad is because it's a redo of the original Ghostbusters and it's all women instead of all men. 0.99

01:36:42.000 Everybody got fucking terrified or angry or frustrated or pissed or these fucking social justice warriors. 0.99

01:36:49.000 My thought is who gives a fuck? 1.00

01:36:52.000 Is that really a concern that they've decided to try to make money by redoing Ghostbusters with chicks? 0.99

01:36:59.000 Like, isn't that an obvious thing?

01:37:00.000 I think the biggest concern for me lately with movies is the stories aren't there. 0.98

01:37:05.000 We're just looking at so much CGI and, like, tricks that then you really think about, like, holy shit, what the fuck was the plot of this movie? 0.97

01:37:12.000 Well, that was Ghostbusters. 0.98

01:37:14.000 Yeah.

01:37:14.000 Definitely.

01:37:15.000 There was definitely part of that.

01:37:16.000 There was also some really clunky writing.

01:37:18.000 There was something like...

01:37:19.000 With the point where you saw them in some scenes earlier and they were really fun and unexpected and light, fun kind of scenes. 0.90

01:37:26.000 Like, this movie's kind of fucking weird.

01:37:28.000 It's like... 0.97

01:37:29.000 It's not a bad movie.

01:37:31.000 And then you're like...

01:37:32.000 But it's kind of bad here.

01:37:33.000 This part's kind of bad.

01:37:34.000 It's not like a bunch of different movies It's not like if you go back and watch like pick a classic movie like if you go watch the outlaw Josie Wales The outlaw Josie Wales is the outlaw Josie Wales from minute one to the time of the end of the movie It doesn't vary in the way it feels.

01:37:51.000 It feels like the outlaw Josie Wales.

01:37:54.000 It's a beautiful work of art It's seamless In its production, like the way it portrays everything is the same through the whole movie and it builds up and it makes you feel like you're really engrossed and gripped in it.

01:38:07.000 This movie didn't do that.

01:38:08.000 This Ghostbusters movie would take you in and pull you away and take you, push you away from it.

01:38:13.000 It was like it would be so clunky at times.

01:38:15.000 You'd be like, what?

01:38:16.000 Is this the same movie that did that YouTube thing earlier that was so hilarious?

01:38:19.000 Is this the same movie?

01:38:20.000 How did this get through?

01:38:23.000 Did you guys just...

01:38:24.000 Who gave you notes? 0.96

01:38:25.000 Did you guys get shitty notes? 0.72

01:38:26.000 Like, what happened? 0.76

01:38:27.000 I want to know what happened.

01:38:28.000 Because, like, if that Ghostbuster movie came out... 0.98

01:38:32.000 And it was all chicks, but it was fucking bang and just hilarious. 0.83

01:38:36.000 Like, what is that movie that all the girls love that I haven't seen that's supposed to be hilarious? 0.98

01:38:41.000 Bridesmaids and something?

01:38:41.000 No, the Bad Mom?

01:38:44.000 No, that's a new one.

01:38:45.000 Yeah.

01:38:45.000 But there's an old one, something Bridesmaids.

01:38:47.000 Bridesmaids, yeah. 0.90

01:38:48.000 Kristen Wiig's in it too.

01:38:49.000 Yes. 0.98

01:38:50.000 That movie's supposed to be fucking hilarious. 0.98

01:38:52.000 I have not seen it. 0.99

01:38:54.000 But, like, a lot of people that have seen it that I respect as comedians have said, dude, that movie is fucking hilarious. 0.96

01:38:59.000 I think Burr might just put words in his mouth. 0.82

01:39:03.000 Maybe it was Joey Diaz.

01:39:04.000 Did you see this?

01:39:05.000 The new Independence Day?

01:39:06.000 Of course not. 1.00

01:39:06.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:39:07.000 Of course not. 1.00

01:39:07.000 How long did that last? 1.00

01:39:09.000 Awful when I saw it.

01:39:10.000 How long did that last, the movie theater?

01:39:11.000 Oh, a day.

01:39:12.000 At least, I mean, it has to last at least a week.

01:39:14.000 America has spoken, Independence Day.

01:39:17.000 Enough.

01:39:18.000 Capital E dash nuff.

01:39:23.000 It's weird because I buy movies on iTunes now.

01:39:29.000 When it's not on Netflix and it's not on Hulu, I'd rather spend $10 and buy it on iTunes than go to a movie and spend $50 on everything. 0.99

01:39:38.000 So I buy a lot of movies now, and in so many movies that I've heard nothing but good things about this movie, I'm like, God damn it, I wasted $10 on that fucking piece of it. 0.99

01:39:46.000 Give me an example. 0.99

01:39:48.000 Did you like 10 Cloverfield Lane?

01:39:50.000 No, I haven't seen that, but that's one of the ones I'm about to buy.

01:39:53.000 Here's a problem.

01:39:53.000 I'm about to endorse it and recommend it to you, but you might hate it.

01:39:59.000 Some people hated it.

01:40:00.000 Did you see it in the theater?

01:40:02.000 No.

01:40:02.000 Saw it at home.

01:40:03.000 Do you like seeing movies in the theater?

01:40:04.000 Yes.

01:40:05.000 Or action movies, specifically?

01:40:06.000 Yeah.

01:40:06.000 Do you think that's important, to see them there, versus, like, at home?

01:40:09.000 Well, unless you're P-Diddly, and you've got some gigantic-ass fucking house with a movie theater in it, you're not going to get the same effect of the sound. 0.98

01:40:18.000 I think... 0.97

01:40:19.000 When someone is a composer, like, let's take, for example, like, certain movies that have amazing soundtracks, and, like, you hear things, like, happening behind you.

01:40:29.000 Like, the most recent Star Wars movie, the soundtrack was incredible.

01:40:32.000 And, like, there's a...

01:40:36.000 All these... 1.00

01:40:37.000 There's all this shit going on. 1.00

01:40:39.000 It's part of the experience. 1.00

01:40:40.000 You're watching this giant ass fucking screen. 1.00

01:40:42.000 It's beautiful, crystal clear. 1.00

01:40:44.000 The sound is incredible.

01:40:46.000 It literally feels like it's coming from everywhere in the room.

01:40:48.000 You can't reproduce that at home.

01:40:50.000 So, in that case, I think that, yeah, for some kinds of movies, watching it in a movie theater is...

01:40:56.000 But how about a country with no country...

01:41:00.000 No Country for Old Men? 0.98

01:41:02.000 That's totally unnecessary to watch that movie in the movie theater.

01:41:04.000 You don't need to require that.

01:41:05.000 That's just not a big sound movie, though.

01:41:07.000 Sound is required and whatnot, but there's no big sound elements in it.

01:41:11.000 Right, it's also a movie that might be better if you absorb it by yourself.

01:41:15.000 You don't want to be influenced by anybody because it's such a movie that makes you think so much.

01:41:19.000 Like even the end of it, the end of it just sort of, I don't want to give it away, but it's a very strange ending, but it's one of the best movies I've ever seen.

01:41:27.000 But it's one of those movies where as you're watching it, you're like in gripped.

01:41:30.000 You're just, it takes you to this place.

01:41:34.000 And you don't want to be distracted in any way when you're dealing with this.

01:41:38.000 It's not doing anything you expect it to do. 0.99

01:41:41.000 It's doing all sorts of weird shit. 0.96

01:41:43.000 It's very different than a lot of movies. 0.96

01:41:45.000 In a lot of movies, they have this very specific formula that even if they get creative inside that formula, they still stick to the formula and the good guy wins in the end and all that stuff happens.

01:41:54.000 This movie is not like that at all.

01:41:56.000 No Country for Old Men. 0.96

01:41:58.000 It took me a couple of years to really appreciate what it was all about.

01:42:02.000 I saw it, I was like, God, the acting is so good, the story's so compelling, but what is missing in this thing?

01:42:07.000 What's missing is it's not tidy. 0.58

01:42:09.000 It's like this just spectacular work of drama, so much shit going on, and it just leaves you with this feeling of, whoa, at the end of it, you know?

01:42:20.000 And I think that, you know, movies like that, that's a rare accomplishment. 0.92

01:42:27.000 It's sort of like when we were talking about Michael Phelps being so incredible, it's something that everybody could do.

01:42:34.000 There's all kinds of movies that are awesome, and then every now and then you get a movie that makes you go, whoa.

01:42:42.000 Like a complete redefiner.

01:42:44.000 Super rare.

01:42:46.000 But when it happens...

01:42:47.000 When you hear the last five that aren't that, like...

01:42:50.000 Here's the last five I bought that sucked and everyone told me it was an amazing movie.

01:42:54.000 Inside Out. 0.86

01:42:55.000 Which is Inside Out.

01:42:57.000 Pixar movie.

01:42:57.000 Loved it.

01:42:58.000 Wow.

01:42:59.000 Adorable.

01:43:00.000 My kids loved it.

01:43:01.000 I read stories to them every night.

01:43:03.000 Enjoyed it.

01:43:04.000 Gosh, you liked it.

01:43:05.000 So you liked that movie?

01:43:06.000 I shut down my body's testosterone adapters and I sit in this seat as a daddy. 1.00

01:43:11.000 John Jones shit. 1.00

01:43:12.000 I live my life through... 1.00

01:43:14.000 How dare you?

01:43:16.000 How dare you?

01:43:18.000 How dare you mock him while he cries in Albuquerque?

01:43:21.000 And I enjoy it from their eyes.

01:43:24.000 They enjoy it.

01:43:25.000 You hang out with a six-year-old that you love dearly, a child that you...

01:43:31.000 No, for kids, I agree 100%.

01:43:33.000 It's different.

01:43:33.000 Definitely.

01:43:33.000 But if it was about myself, I'd be like, shut this stupid fucking shit off.

01:43:36.000 Yeah, the worst. 1.00

01:43:37.000 I have a theory that if you're on...

01:43:38.000 But it's not for you!

01:43:39.000 If you're on depression medicine, it's like the best movie ever and you'll cry.

01:43:42.000 I've heard people saying, I've cried five times in that movie.

01:43:45.000 With a kid, you might cry.

01:43:46.000 Yeah.

01:43:47.000 Another one, A Million Ways to Die in the West. 1.00

01:43:50.000 One of the worst piles of shit I've ever seen in my life. 1.00

01:43:54.000 Seth MacFarlane's movie where he's in the West. 1.00

01:43:57.000 Seth MacFarlane.

01:43:58.000 Family Guy Guy.

01:44:00.000 He made a movie?

01:44:01.000 Yeah.

01:44:01.000 Is he the actor?

01:44:03.000 Everyone told me that was great and fucking hated it. 0.98

01:44:06.000 Oh, another Seth Rogen movie. 1.00

01:44:07.000 Sometimes you get that top ten pussy and it could wreck your brain. 1.00

01:44:10.000 You start thinking, man, fuck cartoons. 1.00

01:44:12.000 I'm ready to sling this dick in front of the camera. 1.00

01:44:23.000 He's too smart. 1.00

01:44:24.000 He's too much of a bad motherfucker. 1.00

01:44:25.000 Seth MacFarlane movie number two. 1.00

01:44:27.000 Came to bit him in his ass. 1.00

01:44:28.000 The night before. 1.00

01:44:29.000 The night before?

01:44:29.000 What's that?

01:44:30.000 Everyone told me that was a great movie.

01:44:31.000 I haven't heard of that.

01:44:32.000 It's a Seth MacFarlane movie that I forgot I bought that it was really horrible.

01:44:35.000 But that's the movie.

01:44:36.000 Look at him.

01:44:36.000 Yeah.

01:44:38.000 Who's the girl? 0.74

01:44:40.000 She's hot. 1.00

01:44:41.000 Charlize Theron?

01:44:42.000 No, that's not Charlize Theron.

01:44:44.000 What's going on with her face?

01:44:45.000 That's not real.

01:44:46.000 That's a Photoshop poster a little bit, so...

01:44:48.000 Why would they do that?

01:44:49.000 You take one of the most beautiful women in the world and you alter her to make her look like some modern-day playmate? 1.00

01:44:56.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

01:44:57.000 That wasn't her. 1.00

01:44:58.000 That's Amanda Seyfried.

01:44:59.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

01:45:00.000 Well, there you go, bitch. 1.00

01:45:01.000 Take that back. 1.00

01:45:02.000 There she is. 0.99

01:45:03.000 Goddammit! 0.99

01:45:04.000 No!

01:45:06.000 Come on, man.

01:45:07.000 That can't really be it.

01:45:08.000 33% Rotten Tomatoes.

01:45:10.000 Someone didn't pay they bills.

01:45:13.000 Someone didn't pay they bills.

01:45:15.000 Rotten Tomatoes needs that paper.

01:45:18.000 Ted 2. You want more than 33?

01:45:22.000 Well, you know, we gotta talk.

01:45:23.000 We gotta have business lunch.

01:45:25.000 We'll have a business lunch!

01:45:27.000 Rotten Tomatoes have turned into a gangster from New Jack City. 0.99

01:45:31.000 Show them your titties! 1.00

01:45:32.000 Show them your basement titties! 0.99

01:45:33.000 We have a meeting, a business meeting. 0.91

01:45:36.000 I'll put it on my platinum card.

01:45:38.000 No, you'd have a black card.

01:45:39.000 If you're a real baller, you have a black card.

01:45:42.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:45:42.000 Baby, why don't you get a black card? 0.95

01:45:44.000 I think it'd be cool if when my sister comes over and her fucking husband starts bragging about his business, you put out your black card. 1.00

01:45:53.000 Baby, a black card. 1.00

01:45:57.000 You know, it's a good movie for kids.

01:45:58.000 I think it's one of my favorite animated ones.

01:46:02.000 Zootopia. 0.97

01:46:02.000 I think he's like, I'm Seth motherfucking McFarlane. 0.97

01:46:05.000 I don't need a goddamn black card. 1.00

01:46:07.000 Okay? 1.00

01:46:08.000 I like a regular card.

01:46:09.000 It's ironic.

01:46:10.000 I have a flip phone.

01:46:11.000 I drive a Mini Cooper. 0.99

01:46:14.000 I'm Seth fucking McFarlane. 1.00

01:46:17.000 I made the Valley guy, you bitch! 1.00

01:46:20.000 How much success has that guy had? 1.00

01:46:24.000 He's great.

01:46:25.000 I like him.

01:46:25.000 He's awesome.

01:46:26.000 I met him.

01:46:27.000 He's a super good dude.

01:46:28.000 I was with you.

01:46:29.000 High times of words.

01:46:30.000 I met him twice.

01:46:31.000 That was, I don't know, I don't think we met him then, dude.

01:46:35.000 Yeah.

01:46:35.000 I think we met Seth Rogen.

01:46:38.000 Oh, yeah, you're right.

01:46:39.000 It was Seth Rogen.

01:46:40.000 Yeah.

01:46:41.000 I met Seth MacFarlane at his place because I did a voice, like a Fear Factor voice on one of the shows.

01:46:46.000 It was American Dad, I think?

01:46:48.000 Yes.

01:46:49.000 He's a super nice guy.

01:46:51.000 Super nice guy.

01:46:53.000 He's laughing. 0.99

01:46:54.000 He goes, we just smoke pot and come up with funny shit. 0.99

01:46:56.000 He was super easy to get along with. 0.98

01:46:59.000 Really friendly.

01:47:00.000 I did the thing for them.

01:47:02.000 I said, thanks, man.

01:47:03.000 Really nice to meet you.

01:47:04.000 Super friendly and nice.

01:47:06.000 I was like, wow, that's cool.

01:47:08.000 A lot of times you meet these super genius characters.

01:47:11.000 They're awkward.

01:47:12.000 And you're like, I hope I don't...

01:47:14.000 Make this guy annoyed.

01:47:16.000 Here's some super genius guy that created some sitcom.

01:47:18.000 Try to be nice to him.

01:47:19.000 I don't know.

01:47:20.000 You don't know what you're dealing with.

01:47:21.000 But Seth MacFarlane, I've met a lot of those guys.

01:47:24.000 Some of them were kind of odd.

01:47:25.000 Like Paul Simmons, the first guy that ever...

01:47:29.000 That was the guy who produced NewsRadio.

01:47:30.000 The first guy who gave me my big break in Hollywood.

01:47:34.000 The first time I met him, I'm like, this guy is way too smart and way too weird.

01:47:38.000 I don't want to piss him off because I want this job.

01:47:40.000 I don't even know what to say to this dude.

01:47:42.000 There's these certain super genius type characters, showrunner type dudes.

01:47:46.000 They're notoriously powerful figures.

01:47:51.000 Who's that guy that Charlie Sheen got into it with?

01:47:53.000 That was the sitcom creator?

01:47:55.000 What is that dude's name?

01:47:56.000 Chuck Lewis.

01:47:57.000 Yes, that guy is the Mac Daddy of those shows. 0.97

01:48:00.000 Like no one has run more of those fucking gigantic smash super 100 million billion dollar hits than that guy. 0.68

01:48:09.000 He sounds like a handsome person. 0.95

01:48:10.000 Well, he's just a he just knows how to do those kind of shows, you know?

01:48:14.000 Like he's a guy who's figured out like a frequency.

01:48:16.000 He's figured out like...

01:48:18.000 Yeah, he's got them all. 1.00

01:48:21.000 Shit, really? 1.00

01:48:21.000 Yeah, Two and a Half Men, Darman Gregg, Sybil, Grace Under Fire, Big Bang Theory, Mom... 1.00

01:48:26.000 Franny's turn. 0.99

01:48:27.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

01:48:28.000 What the fuck's Franny? 1.00

01:48:29.000 Since 1992? 1.00

01:48:30.000 What?

01:48:31.000 Well, he was learning.

01:48:32.000 He was learning.

01:48:34.000 Grace Under Fire was a big one.

01:48:35.000 There was a crazy rumor that I can't really talk about too much about Brett Butler from Grace Under Fire.

01:48:41.000 Oh, it's got the cool guy on the top left.

01:48:42.000 What's his face?

01:48:43.000 Taylor Negron, he died recently.

01:48:45.000 Oh, that's right.

01:48:46.000 He was a super nice guy.

01:48:48.000 Taylor Negron came up to me after one of my sets one night and was like one of the nicest compliments but also like really honest and And curious like we had like a really cool conversation was like this is like the least Hollywood conversation between two men that do the same business in Hollywood ever He was like super honest about like subject matter,

01:49:12.000 you know, we were talking about like Like he he said that he's always wondered like what should he talk about on stage and he's sometimes he's confined himself He was saying that he wondered or worried whether or not the audience would appreciate his own,

01:49:30.000 the things that he thought were interesting.

01:49:32.000 So instead he was writing and talking about stuff that he thought that they would think would be interesting and that he was trying to change that.

01:49:39.000 So we had this really interesting talk about it.

01:49:42.000 But he died like really suddenly of like a weird disease, I think.

01:49:46.000 I don't know.

01:49:46.000 What age?

01:49:47.000 What age?

01:49:47.000 Not that old, man.

01:49:49.000 I don't know.

01:49:49.000 Look up Taylor Negron.

01:49:51.000 Liver cancer.

01:49:52.000 He passed away January of last year.

01:49:55.000 How old was he?

01:49:57.000 57. If I can hang in there 10 years, we got that cloning shit. 1.00

01:50:00.000 But you'd be sad 10 years from now. 0.99

01:50:01.000 Dude, 10 years is quick. 0.99

01:50:03.000 This summer fucking came and went so fast. 0.99

01:50:07.000 It's not even over yet. 1.00

01:50:08.000 What the fuck happened this summer? 0.97

01:50:10.000 It's August 11th. 1.00

01:50:11.000 It's fucking flying. 0.98

01:50:12.000 I refuse to believe that time is the same every day. 0.99

01:50:16.000 I refuse to believe. 0.99

01:50:18.000 I don't give a fuck about your watches. 0.99

01:50:20.000 I don't care about your quartz movements. 0.99

01:50:21.000 I don't care about your atomic clock.

01:50:23.000 I think it's moving faster.

01:50:27.000 I agree 100%.

01:50:29.000 I would bet anything on it.

01:50:33.000 It makes zero sense.

01:50:35.000 Let's all bet $5.

01:50:36.000 Okay.

01:50:37.000 Since you say you'd bet everything on it, I'm putting you on the table, fella.

01:50:41.000 All right, what's the answer, Jamie?

01:50:43.000 I'm calling you to the carpet.

01:50:44.000 Tell us the answer, Jamie.

01:50:45.000 Time's moving faster.

01:50:46.000 One of the things that I was watching this thing on planets and about the expansion of the universe, and not only the expansion, but the fact that it's accelerating, it's moving apart faster and faster, and that they didn't know this 20 years ago.

01:51:00.000 And I was listening to this guy speak about it, and I remember thinking to myself, like, that is so crazy.

01:51:06.000 Like, that is a huge factor in our existence.

01:51:10.000 That this universe is not just static, but it's moving away, and it's accelerating in some sort of strange way.

01:51:17.000 And that they can measure it.

01:51:18.000 When they measure it over 10 or 20 years, it's a measurable number that allows them to discern, like, okay, we're positive that this thing is not just moving, but accelerating.

01:51:30.000 And this is our universe.

01:51:31.000 And they just figured that out 20 years ago.

01:51:33.000 Like, we're just waking up.

01:51:34.000 It's like we're on a starship, and we're flying through the universe.

01:51:37.000 We just came out of hyperspace.

01:51:38.000 And we're all like, okay, where are we going?

01:51:41.000 What is, what's, what is this?

01:51:43.000 Okay, does anybody have a manual?

01:51:45.000 Yeah, here's a manual. 0.99

01:51:46.000 We're gonna go look through the shit that the old people wrote down. 0.98

01:51:49.000 We literally are like exactly the same thing. 0.99

01:51:51.000 Like, we get taught by people who get taught by people who get taught by people who are basically monkeys.

01:51:56.000 You know? 0.99

01:51:57.000 This is like a few chains away from us and dudes with sticks trying to kill giraffes and shit. 0.98

01:52:02.000 There's not that many. 0.97

01:52:04.000 If you go back in time, like, numbers, what do you get, like, 20, 30 times?

01:52:08.000 And then you're in the caveman era? 0.99

01:52:10.000 That shit is not that far ago, man. 1.00

01:52:13.000 It's not that far ago. 0.99

01:52:15.000 So we're like waking up in the middle of like this trip.

01:52:22.000 This whole galaxy hurling through the universe, going a thousand miles an hour in a circle, flying around a huge nuclear explosion a million times bigger than it.

01:52:32.000 Just flying through the universe.

01:52:33.000 And we're waking up.

01:52:35.000 And we're going, what about gay marriage? 1.00

01:52:37.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:52:37.000 Not on my watch, bro. 1.00

01:52:39.000 Okay, okay, okay.

01:52:40.000 What do you think about taxes?

01:52:41.000 Well, we need to revamp the entire tax system.

01:52:42.000 We need the IRS. And you've got to wear your powdered wig.

01:52:45.000 And meanwhile...

01:52:48.000 Flying through infinity and we're just realizing it.

01:52:51.000 We're just like, oh we're not not only is the Sun not the center of the universe, not only is the Earth not the center of the universe, but this galaxy is one of hundreds of billions.

01:53:01.000 There's untold numbers.

01:53:03.000 Not only that, but inside each galaxy is a supermassive black hole that's one half of one percent of the mass of the entire galaxy and if you go through that there might be an unlimited number of universes.

01:53:15.000 How the planets are lined up right now.

01:53:17.000 We're getting some sweet pictures from Mars.

01:53:19.000 Have you seen those?

01:53:20.000 Yeah, dude.

01:53:20.000 You know what else I've seen?

01:53:21.000 Mad about you.

01:53:23.000 Chuck Lorre knocking it out of the park, making cash.

01:53:26.000 He's got a tube right to Thailand. 0.95

01:53:28.000 There's a tube, and he presses a green light, and the hottest young prostitute you've ever seen in your life goes through that tube. 1.00

01:53:38.000 This is not true. 0.59

01:53:40.000 That's Charlie Sheen.

01:53:41.000 I got confused.

01:53:42.000 Charlie Sheen would do that.

01:53:43.000 Charlie Sheen probably did that with his two and a half men money.

01:53:45.000 He's almost out of money, supposedly.

01:53:47.000 He's almost spent the last amount of money.

01:53:50.000 That's not true.

01:53:51.000 I just read that he's really hurting.

01:53:54.000 He's cutting this money up from his ex-wife.

01:53:56.000 He used to give her so much money every night, he cut it all off.

01:53:59.000 Oh, no.

01:54:00.000 Yeah, I mean...

01:54:02.000 Well, he's got HIV and he does a lot of drugs.

01:54:05.000 Those are not good things to have together.

01:54:07.000 I mean, everybody was on his side when that whole thing went down with that Chuck Lorre guy.

01:54:12.000 That Chuck Lorre guy, he's real simple, man.

01:54:16.000 Money is tight.

01:54:17.000 I can't pay ridiculous child support.

01:54:19.000 Well, that might be a TMZ headline, by the way.

01:54:23.000 Rick Mueller, $55,000 a month.

01:54:26.000 Wow, that's nice.

01:54:27.000 Wow, that's nice.

01:54:28.000 Charlie had been raking in $613 a month just from his cut of two and a half men profits.

01:54:34.000 Wow.

01:54:35.000 $613,000 a month. 1.00

01:54:37.000 Ka-ching, bitch! 1.00

01:54:39.000 He recently had to sell those rights for a lump sum of $26,750,000. 1.00

01:54:44.000 He is suffering.

01:54:46.000 That is a small pittance for a man of his esteem to live off.

01:54:52.000 First of all, how dare they?

01:54:54.000 How dare they only give him $26 million?

01:54:58.000 He doesn't say what happened to the stash.

01:55:01.000 Charlie says he now averages $87,000 a month and last month got a relatively paltry $6,261.

01:55:10.000 He says he now can't keep up because his monthly expenses total $105,000 and $25,000 for healthcare expenses not covered by any insurance.

01:55:21.000 $25,000 a month for healthcare expenses?

01:55:24.000 Is that what you call your drug dealer, sir?

01:55:29.000 Allegedly.

01:55:30.000 Allegedly? 1.00

01:55:30.000 Maybe he's just got a fucking Michael Jackson type dude putting him to sleep at night. 1.00

01:55:35.000 Listen, that Michael Jackson dude. 1.00

01:55:37.000 That dude slipped.

01:55:38.000 I ain't gonna slip, baby.

01:55:39.000 I got your back.

01:55:40.000 I'm gonna hold you.

01:55:41.000 I'm gonna be with you.

01:55:42.000 I'm gonna put you under. 0.98

01:55:43.000 Every night. 1.00

01:55:44.000 Different shit. 1.00

01:55:45.000 I got different shit. 1.00

01:55:46.000 The shit that Michael Jackson's doctor used, it was a good idea in theory. 0.99

01:55:49.000 Here's why it doesn't work in practice. 0.99

01:55:51.000 It doesn't allow you to go to heavy REM sleep.

01:55:53.000 My stuff does, okay?

01:55:54.000 What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna take you to the first...

01:55:56.000 I'm gonna drop you out of the alpha state into the beta state, and then you're like, okay, okay, okay, cool, cool.

01:56:01.000 I'm Charlie Cheen. 0.99

01:56:01.000 Look, I'd love to talk to you, but there's a fucking bowling ball bag filled with coke and five strippers in the other room. 0.99

01:56:08.000 I gotta go to work. 0.99

01:56:09.000 If you could guess a number, how many people do you think are being put to sleep?

01:56:12.000 Not daily, but like semi-daily or weekly that way.

01:56:16.000 Two! 0.99

01:56:17.000 Only two?

01:56:18.000 Two a day.

01:56:19.000 What?

01:56:19.000 Like thousands of people?

01:56:21.000 Hundreds of people?

01:56:22.000 No, like need...

01:56:24.000 Heavy sedation by maybe a doctor or something like that.

01:56:26.000 There's a lot.

01:56:27.000 I know several people that are really nice folks that need Ambien to go to bed.

01:56:33.000 Me too.

01:56:34.000 They're not drug addicts.

01:56:35.000 They work jobs that are very stressful.

01:56:38.000 They have very nice families.

01:56:41.000 There's nothing wrong with them.

01:56:42.000 They love that stuff.

01:56:43.000 Do you know it's mostly women though?

01:56:45.000 Ambien?

01:56:46.000 Yeah.

01:56:47.000 Really?

01:56:47.000 I know it's just like every girl I know either is taking like over-the-counter like what's that stuff that's in good on it stuff new mood 5-HTP yeah no no the one that makes it tryptophan yeah like or they're taking that's supposed to make you relax yeah but everyone every girl I know is has something to help her sleep almost you know Consider what you just said,

01:57:10.000 first of all.

01:57:10.000 Every girl I know.

01:57:12.000 Girls are hanging around with you. 1.00

01:57:13.000 That's what I tell them. 1.00

01:57:14.000 A lot of them are fucking crazy. 1.00

01:57:15.000 You need this. 1.00

01:57:16.000 And it ain't bad. 0.67

01:57:17.000 It ain't bad to be crazy.

01:57:18.000 We need everybody.

01:57:19.000 It's like that song.

01:57:20.000 It takes every kind of people.

01:57:21.000 But sleeping issues.

01:57:23.000 Seems really big.

01:57:25.000 Yeah, but you're dealing with a very biased study group.

01:57:29.000 Oh yeah, I know.

01:57:30.000 Yeah.

01:57:31.000 Some people sleep like babies, bro.

01:57:32.000 They can't wait to sleep.

01:57:33.000 But no guys.

01:57:34.000 Yeah.

01:57:34.000 I don't take it.

01:57:35.000 I've never taken sleeping pills.

01:57:36.000 Oh, I know guys.

01:57:37.000 Yeah, that's weird.

01:57:38.000 Well, you don't have like regular life jobs.

01:57:40.000 Yeah, true.

01:57:41.000 And I just pretty much go to sleep when I'm like, I should go to sleep now.

01:57:44.000 Yeah, I know guys with a lot of serious obligations that oftentimes will work 10 to 12 hours a day.

01:57:50.000 All the time.

01:57:51.000 Like, I have a good buddy of mine.

01:57:52.000 He needs it.

01:57:53.000 He works 10, 12 hours a day.

01:57:54.000 He has his own business.

01:57:56.000 And he's always working. 0.99

01:57:57.000 And he's fucking exhausted. 0.96

01:57:59.000 And sometimes he's like, uh, what about the account? 0.98

01:58:01.000 And what about this and that?

01:58:03.000 And he'll take an Ambien and pop off.

01:58:05.000 I feel like now all I have to do is just eat and I'll fall asleep.

01:58:10.000 I don't know what it means.

01:58:12.000 Like, last night I had chicken wings and I fell asleep within 20 minutes.

01:58:15.000 It means you're a man child. 0.98

01:58:18.000 Do you know about man-childs, Brian?

01:58:21.000 No, I mean, it's like...

01:58:22.000 I don't understand.

01:58:23.000 These people, I guess they have jobs and they don't sleep.

01:58:26.000 Whatever.

01:58:27.000 I could sleep.

01:58:28.000 I don't get it.

01:58:29.000 Food does not give me energy.

01:58:31.000 It just makes me sleepy.

01:58:33.000 Well, it does, but it also robs you of resources.

01:58:36.000 It's really not a good idea to eat a lot of food before you go to bed because a lot of times your body starts digesting that food and it uses up resources, which you should go to bed.

01:58:45.000 You shouldn't be hungry, but there should be some time between when you eat and when you go to bed.

01:58:50.000 Allow your body to digest some food so that your body can adequately go into the many stages that it requires to really rebuild your system.

01:58:58.000 I mean, if I eat now, I'll fall asleep.

01:59:00.000 I know, but I'm just saying.

01:59:03.000 Like, it's not the smartest thing to do.

01:59:05.000 Like, everybody gets sleepy after they eat a lot, but it's really not the right thing to do.

01:59:09.000 The right thing to do, especially if you eat anything heavy carbs.

01:59:13.000 Bro science coming up.

01:59:14.000 Strap in!

01:59:15.000 Strap in for bro science!

01:59:17.000 Allegedly.

01:59:18.000 The spike in insulin that you get from taking in all those, if you eat pizza, you have a whole pizza to yourself. 1.00

01:59:25.000 It's late at night, you're like, fuck it. 0.99

01:59:27.000 I've eaten a whole pizza. 1.00

01:59:29.000 And we're all laughing, stoned, and we all order five pizzas.

01:59:33.000 That's not good.

01:59:35.000 It might be good for those 20 minutes while you're eating that pizza.

01:59:38.000 I'm saying if I have soup.

01:59:41.000 If I just have some light chicken soup, I'll fall asleep. 1.00

01:59:44.000 Bitch, why are you lying? 1.00

01:59:45.000 You didn't have no soup. 1.00

01:59:46.000 I promise you.

01:59:46.000 You're at Wendy's getting a double-double.

01:59:48.000 I love soup.

01:59:49.000 I do too.

01:59:50.000 Who doesn't love soup?

01:59:51.000 Soup is one of my favorites.

01:59:52.000 If you don't love soup, lose my number, bro.

01:59:55.000 It's great because my girlfriend is like a huge cooker, and so I just have to tell her what I want.

01:59:59.000 It's called a chef.

02:00:00.000 Yeah.

02:00:01.000 Don't say cooker.

02:00:02.000 A cooker is something you throw food in.

02:00:06.000 She's a crock pot. 1.00

02:00:09.000 I got this white bean soup that my mom used to make. 0.93

02:00:12.000 It was like a Midwest trash type thing.

02:00:14.000 You know the one with the white beans? 0.57

02:00:16.000 It's a little thicker like a chili and has bacon or ham in it.

02:00:19.000 It's so good.

02:00:20.000 My mom sent me her recipe and she cooked a bunch of it, but I ate almost the whole thing of soup.

02:00:26.000 Yeah, my mom used to make split pea soup with ham. 0.98

02:00:29.000 God damn it was good. 1.00

02:00:31.000 Split pea soup is not bad for you, unless you're a pig. 1.00

02:00:35.000 That's really bad for you. 0.99

02:00:37.000 Because you're on the menu.

02:00:39.000 You know, like split pea.

02:00:40.000 It sounds like, oh, what a wonderful dish.

02:00:43.000 It's organic.

02:00:43.000 It's vegetable-based.

02:00:46.000 Mmm, not so much, bitch. 1.00

02:00:47.000 There's actually a smoked-out, dead pig inside of that thing. 1.00

02:00:52.000 And you have to have the bone.

02:00:54.000 If you do it correctly, you're supposed to cook it with the ham hock.

02:00:57.000 It's been going around the internet.

02:00:58.000 What? 0.72

02:00:58.000 This piece of bacon with a nipple still attached to it. 0.72

02:01:01.000 Oh my god, that's not real. 0.95

02:01:04.000 No, it is real.

02:01:05.000 It is 100% real.

02:01:07.000 It's my pork belly more, but still.

02:01:09.000 Well, that's what bacon is. 0.70

02:01:10.000 Well, let me explain to you what bacon is, because if you don't know, because I didn't know until a couple years ago, bacon is this part of the pig.

02:01:18.000 It's the bottom half of a pig.

02:01:19.000 This is one of the reasons why bacon doesn't really exist on wild boars.

02:01:25.000 Like, I've only shot one wild pig, and they don't have any bacon, man.

02:01:32.000 They're out there hustling. 0.53

02:01:33.000 They're a different animal.

02:01:35.000 It doesn't look the same either.

02:01:36.000 I mean, I shot a pretty big one.

02:01:38.000 It was pretty well fed.

02:01:39.000 But their skin, their flesh, is not pink or white.

02:01:45.000 You know there's always pork, the other white meat? 0.74

02:01:47.000 It's not supposed to be white. 0.64

02:01:49.000 If they're out there eating acorns and ground nesting birds and all the stuff, they're not herbivores either.

02:01:56.000 Those things are omnivores. 1.00

02:01:57.000 They eat fucking everything. 1.00

02:01:59.000 There's a picture that I tweeted a few months back of a boar running away with a fawn in its mouth. 1.00

02:02:07.000 Like a small deer in its mouth.

02:02:09.000 And a lot of people were like, whoa, I did not know...

02:02:13.000 They eat babies? 0.99

02:02:14.000 They'll eat a deer? 1.00

02:02:15.000 Oh, they fucking eat your cat. 1.00

02:02:17.000 They'll eat your dog. 1.00

02:02:19.000 They'll eat everything. 1.00

02:02:20.000 And they'll eat you too, you fuck. 1.00

02:02:22.000 And apparently, every year, someone falls into a pen with pigs on a farm and gets jacked. 1.00

02:02:28.000 Look at this pig running off with his deer in its mouth.

02:02:30.000 Wow. 0.95

02:02:31.000 Yo! 1.00

02:02:32.000 That's dark.

02:02:34.000 Speaking of pigs and deer, did you see the cop shooting the deer video yet? 1.00

02:02:38.000 That's fucked up, man. 1.00

02:02:40.000 I did. 1.00

02:02:40.000 He shot it right in the head. 1.00

02:02:41.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

02:02:42.000 What? 1.00

02:02:43.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

02:02:44.000 And, you know, it was really callous. 1.00

02:02:47.000 Yeah.

02:02:48.000 That was brutal.

02:02:49.000 Well, I think...

02:02:50.000 Yeah, it was really callous, man.

02:02:52.000 It was weird.

02:02:53.000 I guess he had to do it, though.

02:02:54.000 I think that's what they said. 0.99

02:02:55.000 They said you have to shoot it. 0.91

02:02:56.000 I think he asked someone what to do, and I think they said put it down.

02:03:01.000 So, I mean, if you're going to put it down, the way he did it, even though it looked crazy because he did it in front of everybody, but the way he did it was the best way to do it.

02:03:09.000 Honestly...

02:03:11.000 Shooing? 0.96

02:03:11.000 Here's the thing. 0.96

02:03:12.000 I mean, I don't know what they're gonna do with the body.

02:03:14.000 I would hope, hope, they give that meat to Hunters for the Hungry.

02:03:20.000 There's a program that's in America where hunters, like, say if you come over here to experience, like, the Midwest, Of the United States, like Iowa in particular, Kansas, a lot of these areas are famous all across the world for having these gigantic white-tailed deer.

02:03:42.000 And it becomes a thing, like white-tailed deer in the Midwest of the United States.

02:03:46.000 This is something I've only found out over the last few years, obviously, of me getting interested in hunting.

02:03:51.000 But white-tailed deer hunting, like people hear about it from Scotland, and they want to come over here.

02:03:57.000 People hear about it from China, and they want to come over here.

02:03:59.000 They want to experience what it's like to hunt white-tailed deer in Iowa.

02:04:04.000 It becomes like this thing.

02:04:06.000 And sometimes people from other places that don't live in Iowa, they'll put in tags.

02:04:11.000 And they'll put in tags over and [...

02:04:14.000 And finally they get one.

02:04:16.000 And they can go there and they can experience what it's like.

02:04:19.000 And then they can't bring the meat back to China or Australia.

02:04:22.000 They won't let you. 1.00

02:04:24.000 Like if you try to fly with a dead deer from the United States and fly it into Australia, they'll be like, fuck you. 1.00

02:04:31.000 Okay? 1.00

02:04:31.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:04:32.000 You can't take a chance and go across the fucking ocean. 1.00

02:04:34.000 It's really funny. 0.99

02:04:35.000 Because if you go from Nevada to like Ohio, they're like, okay, what do you got in there?

02:04:39.000 Oh, I shot a deer.

02:04:40.000 Congratulations.

02:04:41.000 But you can't fly across water.

02:04:42.000 Oh, where are you going?

02:04:44.000 Where are you going?

02:04:44.000 You're going across water!

02:04:46.000 It's very tricky.

02:04:47.000 Even if you try to bring an animal down from Canada, like into the United States.

02:04:53.000 Well, I mean, I'm talking about a dead animal.

02:04:54.000 You know, you're trying to bring a dead animal.

02:04:57.000 So it's one of those things where...

02:05:02.000 These people donate money, or they donate food.

02:05:05.000 So if they come over here and they want to experience, if they're a hunter from Australia and they want to experience what it's like to hunt in Iowa, they can donate money, or in the sense of they can donate food, rather, to a lot of hungry people.

02:05:18.000 If you shoot a 200-pound white-tailed deer, that's going to feed, that's going to be more than probably in the neighborhood of 150 meals.

02:05:30.000 That's amazing.

02:05:31.000 You can give that away to all these people that need it, you know, if you're from some other place.

02:05:39.000 I thought I recognized this when I saw the video.

02:05:41.000 Apparently this video is from 2013. This is like two and a half years old.

02:05:46.000 This is not a new thing.

02:05:47.000 It just happened to be circulating again.

02:05:48.000 Exactly.

02:05:48.000 See?

02:05:48.000 We don't care because it's three years old.

02:05:51.000 This is old shit. 1.00

02:05:52.000 This is the one that's going around from yesterday. 1.00

02:05:54.000 Yeah, I saw it.

02:05:55.000 This says also that the deer was believed to be injured and was going to harm motorists if they tried to shoo it away, which is why they didn't do that.

02:06:02.000 Oh, it was probably hit by a car.

02:06:03.000 It could have been hit by a car.

02:06:05.000 It also just could be on the way out.

02:06:07.000 I mean, that was a pretty big deer.

02:06:09.000 It could be on the way out.

02:06:10.000 It could have been shot by an arrow or a bullet.

02:06:14.000 Somebody could have wounded it.

02:06:15.000 Did you see the deer in the bear video?

02:06:18.000 What are you doing, Jamie?

02:06:19.000 Quake champions. 1.00

02:06:20.000 What are you trying to do, you fuck? 1.00

02:06:22.000 Jamie tried to use subliminal messages on me. 1.00

02:06:25.000 What Jamie tried to do just now is what they used to do in the old days with the movies.

02:06:29.000 Hungry, eat popcorn.

02:06:30.000 Did you see this, though?

02:06:31.000 Run it, Jamie.

02:06:32.000 Have you seen this yet?

02:06:32.000 It came out last week.

02:06:33.000 Quake Champions debut gameplay trailer.

02:06:36.000 Okay, let me wipe my hands dry.

02:06:43.000 Breathe.

02:06:45.000 Oh my god, look at the graphics. 1.00

02:06:47.000 Oh shit! 1.00

02:06:50.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:06:57.000 This looks perfect.

02:06:58.000 Oh my god!

02:07:00.000 Oh, this looks so awesome! 1.00

02:07:05.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:07:11.000 Oh my god! 1.00

02:07:18.000 Oh my god, this looks fun!

02:07:20.000 It looks...

02:07:21.000 it doesn't.

02:07:36.000 Wow.

02:07:37.000 Pure speed.

02:07:38.000 Pure skill.

02:07:40.000 Pure FPS. You have to be a super dork to know what FPS is. 0.98

02:07:44.000 Frames per second. 0.96

02:07:45.000 That was an old Rocket Arena map that they were just playing on. 0.93

02:07:48.000 That's what a dork I am.

02:07:50.000 I know that map. 0.93

02:07:51.000 That last map.

02:07:52.000 That was an old map that we used to always play on.

02:07:54.000 I don't remember the map number.

02:07:56.000 That was an old map.

02:07:58.000 They definitely kept the feel and the look of the game, but updated the graphics.

02:08:01.000 I really liked how they stayed true to the original formula.

02:08:04.000 I hope they make it so you can't shut those graphics off.

02:08:08.000 This is why.

02:08:08.000 And people get mad at me.

02:08:09.000 Fuck, bro. 1.00

02:08:10.000 My fucking computer doesn't have good frames per second, bro. 1.00

02:08:14.000 The problem is you're not playing the same game as the person who's seeing everything. 1.00

02:08:18.000 Like, it's easier to play.

02:08:19.000 Well, I take that back.

02:08:21.000 I support your decision to mute all the graphics, but I think you're kind of missing part of the fun.

02:08:26.000 Like when you play, maybe not. 0.99

02:08:28.000 Maybe I'm full of shit. 1.00

02:08:29.000 Here's why I'm full of shit. 1.00

02:08:31.000 Here's why I'm definitely full of shit. 1.00

02:08:32.000 I don't give a fuck about those walls. 1.00

02:08:34.000 Like it looks cool the first time you see it. 0.99

02:08:36.000 Right?

02:08:37.000 But what do you really want to do? 1.00

02:08:38.000 You want to shoot that fucking dude. 1.00

02:08:39.000 That's what I want to do. 1.00

02:08:41.000 If I shoot him in a perfectly muted environment where he's the only thing that I can aim at and everything else is like mauve. 0.99

02:08:48.000 No, no, no. 0.98

02:08:49.000 Tan.

02:08:50.000 Like, what's that?

02:08:50.000 What's a white people tan?

02:08:52.000 What would that be if you had a crayon?

02:08:54.000 White people tan? 0.98

02:08:56.000 Trumper?

02:08:58.000 Trump's not white. 0.98

02:08:59.000 It's like an orange. 0.97

02:09:01.000 Garfield.

02:09:01.000 People would get super mad if you ask them for a snow cone with nothing in it, and they gave them something the color of Trump.

02:09:07.000 Gross. 0.71

02:09:08.000 Like old mayonnaise. 0.83

02:09:09.000 Fachetta leather color.

02:09:10.000 Hmm, fachetta leather.

02:09:12.000 I don't know.

02:09:12.000 Kaki?

02:09:12.000 Jamie hit his head today.

02:09:14.000 Jamie definitely hit his head today. 0.98

02:09:17.000 You're so weird. 0.96

02:09:17.000 Several times. 0.96

02:09:18.000 He's not making any sense.

02:09:21.000 He's been on TMZ too long, did he?

02:09:23.000 Ah!

02:09:28.000 Jokes, folks.

02:09:29.000 No bullying.

02:09:30.000 Relax.

02:09:30.000 Everybody relax.

02:09:32.000 Relax.

02:09:36.000 What if you have a computer, though, that's so powerful that it doesn't matter if you have the graphics on or not? 0.99

02:09:41.000 The texters fuck the texters. 0.99

02:09:42.000 You can do it. 1.00

02:09:43.000 No, it doesn't change anything.

02:09:44.000 Yeah, but here's the thing.

02:09:45.000 Maybe that's old computers.

02:09:46.000 But it's not about that.

02:09:47.000 It used to be about some people used to like to run it.

02:09:51.000 There's two things going on.

02:09:52.000 One, some people like to run it with the graphics muted because their video card can't handle the frames per second required to run it at, like, high resolution with high frame rates.

02:10:01.000 The higher frame rates make things more smooth.

02:10:04.000 So if you get, they say the human eye can only see 30 frame rates a second, they need to update that.

02:10:09.000 I know for a fact they need to update that because there's, or at least maybe it doesn't apply, I should say, to video games.

02:10:17.000 Because there's something that happens in video games when it goes from 30 frames per second to 120 frames per second plus.

02:10:24.000 It becomes far smoother and when it's smoother there's less calculation as far as where that person is at any given time because even though your mind Can't really say, oh, I see where there's a bunch of frames that are rolling by,

02:10:41.000 and that's giving me this illusion of movement, and it's all being calculated by a CPU. Your brain doesn't really totally get that, but there's some amount of data that's getting through when something's kind of clunky.

02:10:53.000 There's some amount of data that's getting through that, oh, this is not, I just got to figure out where that thing's going to be, but that thing, it's all like hickey, it's a hiccup-y thing.

02:11:04.000 When it gets to 120 frames per second, it's smooth as butter.

02:11:07.000 Then it starts looking like, okay, this is a cartoon.

02:11:09.000 Now I'm watching a cartoon.

02:11:10.000 A cartoon's smooth, right?

02:11:12.000 A cartoon doesn't have any herky-jerky stuff to it.

02:11:15.000 And this is like a super smooth cartoon.

02:11:17.000 Like some of the video games you play, like Unreal Tournament. 0.96

02:11:21.000 Remember Unreal Tournament when you get it to high resolutions and you hear the screams of the players and you hear the fucking laser beams shooting through the air. 0.94

02:11:30.000 It's crazy, right? 0.98

02:11:31.000 It's crazy.

02:11:32.000 High frames per second.

02:11:34.000 It's very smooth It's really fun and interesting to watch and when that happens your mind doesn't have to calculate as much Because it it's more predictable.

02:11:42.000 It's like it's it's smoother.

02:11:44.000 It's more It's more pleasing to the eyes, but you're still dealing with all those textures So you're calculating whether you like it or not or even note or not every time you pass by some gothic Stone wall and there's moss on it.

02:11:56.000 It's amazing looking your mind is It either has to deny the existence of that or it has to calculate that into what its model of the world is.

02:12:04.000 So it's extra processing power.

02:12:08.000 It's unnecessary.

02:12:09.000 So if the walls were all, like, the best players, what they would do is they would turn all the textures off.

02:12:14.000 So they would only have this, like, weird, like, Tron world.

02:12:20.000 Like, if Tron blew a fuse...

02:12:23.000 And you're in this strange virtual environment where all the walls are flat and matte white, you know?

02:12:30.000 Yeah, it's something that I used to have to do just to play that game on my old computer.

02:12:38.000 But I think nowadays, though, I think for the most part, a game like this should probably run pretty perfectly on almost any computer.

02:12:45.000 See, this game right here has the shadows on, but it has the textures off.

02:12:52.000 Right.

02:12:52.000 Find one that has the shadows off too, because that happens too.

02:12:56.000 Some crazy fuckers, it might not be in Quake 3, which I think that is, or that's Quake Live, but in the older games, guys had gotten it down to almost nothing. 0.72

02:13:07.000 There was no shadow, there was no nothing. 0.98

02:13:09.000 Everything was like this weird artificial environment.

02:13:13.000 If you just write textures off, just like Quake 2, write Quake 2. Shadows off and textures off in Quake 2. It might be a hack, really.

02:13:23.000 It might not even necessarily be something that...

02:13:25.000 No, that was in the original settings.

02:13:27.000 I remember it.

02:13:27.000 Was it?

02:13:28.000 Yeah.

02:13:28.000 Because it was all based on your graphics card.

02:13:30.000 A lot of graphics cards couldn't handle shadows and stuff like that.

02:13:33.000 Yeah, but also in competition, dudes figured out pretty early on that it'd be easier to hit people if they were the only things you were looking at.

02:13:40.000 Yeah, if I had to play competitively, I'd definitely shut everything off.

02:13:43.000 Yeah.

02:13:43.000 Because it'll make you better.

02:13:45.000 Cheating.

02:13:45.000 It's just like cutting weight.

02:13:46.000 It's like cutting weight for video games.

02:13:48.000 Did you used to play the old Unreal maps?

02:13:51.000 Like the one in the bathroom where you're sitting on top of the toilet paper roll?

02:13:54.000 I missed that so much.

02:13:55.000 That was so fun.

02:13:56.000 Unreal was cool.

02:13:57.000 It was cool.

02:13:58.000 It was like fans of Quake made an awesome game.

02:14:01.000 That's what it was like, you know?

02:14:03.000 And it was cool because didn't we get to see Unreal Tournament before it even came out?

02:14:09.000 Yeah, we went to the studio.

02:14:11.000 I think it was Unreal.

02:14:12.000 Was it Unreal?

02:14:13.000 It was one of the Unreal releases.

02:14:17.000 I'm trying to remember which one.

02:14:18.000 That was the first time we met Cliffy.

02:14:19.000 Yeah.

02:14:21.000 Cliffy's so normal.

02:14:22.000 He's great.

02:14:23.000 I love Cliff.

02:14:23.000 But you wouldn't think he'd be some super genius video game creator?

02:14:29.000 He seems like such a normal dude.

02:14:30.000 Yeah, totally.

02:14:31.000 You know?

02:14:32.000 His game, by the way, one of his games just hit iTunes, called Shadow Complex.

02:14:37.000 It's one of my favorite games, but now you can...

02:14:39.000 It's a phone game?

02:14:40.000 It's a computer game you get on Mac, and I think you could do it on a phone, too.

02:14:44.000 I just saw it the other day.

02:14:45.000 I'm not sure.

02:14:45.000 What is it?

02:14:46.000 It's like a side-scroller, old-school kind of...

02:14:50.000 Or you're figuring out puzzles and playing a shooting game.

02:14:55.000 You know, there's a game that's out that I just finished the other day.

02:14:59.000 It's one of the best video games I've ever played in my life.

02:15:03.000 Is this it right here?

02:15:03.000 That's Shadow Complex.

02:15:04.000 Shadow Complex Remastered.

02:15:06.000 Yeah.

02:15:07.000 Is this Cleffy's new game?

02:15:09.000 That's one of his games that came out a couple years ago after he left, I believe, he left Epic.

02:15:15.000 Dude, I am so lucky I'm not a teenager today.

02:15:17.000 Look at this.

02:15:18.000 Bullets are going underwater.

02:15:19.000 I would never get anything done. 0.99

02:15:20.000 I would get fucking nothing done. 0.99

02:15:22.000 I would have never gotten involved in martial arts. 0.99

02:15:24.000 Maybe I would have, but I might not have.

02:15:27.000 I might have just done this. 0.98

02:15:29.000 Goddamn, I might have had more fun. 0.97

02:15:32.000 You might have been good at Twitch then. 0.98

02:15:34.000 Maybe. 0.65

02:15:35.000 It just seems so fucking compelling. 0.93

02:15:38.000 When you watch these video games today, they're so goddamn compelling. 0.91

02:15:42.000 There's this new game that I just finished that you can get for like 20 bucks right now. 0.65

02:15:45.000 It's Inside, right?

02:15:48.000 But it's one of the best experiences of a video game I've ever had in my life.

02:15:54.000 What is it?

02:15:54.000 Just graphics.

02:15:55.000 It's like a puzzle kind of game. 0.99

02:15:56.000 It's a game where you try to figure shit out. 0.94

02:15:58.000 But the ending and the feel of the game. 0.98

02:16:01.000 This is it?

02:16:02.000 It's the feel of the game.

02:16:04.000 It's probably one of the best video games I've ever experienced in my life.

02:16:08.000 Really?

02:16:09.000 And it's really hard.

02:16:11.000 Strong words, Brian Redman.

02:16:12.000 That was super cool.

02:16:13.000 I just played it, too.

02:16:14.000 Oh, yeah?

02:16:14.000 Wow, whoa, whoa.

02:16:16.000 And...

02:16:16.000 It doesn't tell you how to play.

02:16:18.000 It's just moving and jumping, really.

02:16:20.000 You don't really need to...

02:16:21.000 There's no real strange controls, but... 0.99

02:16:23.000 Oh, you just pulled that thing off the fucking boot! 0.95

02:16:26.000 Saving the spoilers for anything that's in the game. 0.99

02:16:28.000 It's not that long to play.

02:16:30.000 You can get through in a couple hours if you're figuring it out, but it'll take you longer if you get stuck.

02:16:34.000 The ending is one of the most beautiful pieces or masterpieces of a video game I've ever seen in my life.

02:16:39.000 Wow.

02:16:40.000 Beautiful.

02:16:41.000 Creepy beautiful.

02:16:42.000 This is cool to watch.

02:16:44.000 Yeah, it's really fun to watch.

02:16:45.000 God, look at the shadows.

02:16:46.000 My God.

02:16:47.000 And this isn't even that crazy of graphics.

02:16:50.000 It's done right.

02:16:52.000 Dude.

02:16:52.000 It's a good feeling.

02:16:53.000 Duncan Trussell has the Oculus Rift and he also has the Vive, the HTC Vive.

02:16:59.000 And he showed me this archery game the other day on the HTC Vive, and I'm like, I don't think I can have this in my house.

02:17:05.000 Yeah, you can.

02:17:06.000 No.

02:17:07.000 No, I don't think I can have this in my house.

02:17:09.000 So you should keep it in the studio here.

02:17:09.000 I don't think I can have it anywhere.

02:17:11.000 I would have a real problem. 0.99

02:17:13.000 I played that fucking archery game until my arms were shaking. 0.99

02:17:17.000 You're at the top of a castle, and these things are charging at you, and you're shooting at them from the top of the castle. 1.00

02:17:24.000 It's...

02:17:24.000 Super addictive.

02:17:26.000 Did he have a game called Quiver?

02:17:28.000 I just pulled this up when I was looking for Archery on the Vive.

02:17:31.000 He's got a gang of games, but this isn't the one that I played, or at least it's not the scene that I played.

02:17:37.000 There's a lot of games, but not good games.

02:17:40.000 Look at the graphics.

02:17:41.000 This looks like Nintendo 64. Graphics are not the best, but seriously, man, you're not gonna give a fuck when you're wearing those goddamn HTC Vive goggles. 0.99

02:17:49.000 It is the coolest shit in the world. 0.98

02:17:51.000 You should get together with Duncan, go to his house, do his podcast, and play the Vive before you do it. 0.98

02:17:58.000 You're gonna be blown away.

02:18:00.000 I have the cheap $30 one that you can buy where you put your Samsung phone in.

02:18:05.000 Yeah, don't do that.

02:18:06.000 This is the one I played.

02:18:08.000 This is the one I played.

02:18:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:18:09.000 These motherfuckers, just VR archery. 1.00

02:18:12.000 You gotta shoot at these balloons. 1.00

02:18:14.000 How accurate? 1.00

02:18:15.000 It's fucking real accurate. 0.98

02:18:17.000 That's what's crazy. 0.97

02:18:18.000 You just gotta get a feel of which way it's going and how fast it's going.

02:18:22.000 See, it has a certain amount of frames per second.

02:18:26.000 Feet per second, rather.

02:18:27.000 So the arrow, you have to kind of lead them.

02:18:30.000 Like, if you know they're jumping, you have to figure out where they're gonna be when the arrow's getting there.

02:18:35.000 You know, if they're real close, it's easy.

02:18:37.000 Like, right there.

02:18:38.000 Bam! 0.98

02:18:38.000 It's easy. 0.98

02:18:38.000 He's right there. 0.98

02:18:39.000 But if they're moving, they're moving left or right, you kind of get a judgment.

02:18:43.000 See how this guy's doing that?

02:18:44.000 He's figuring it out.

02:18:45.000 He's leading them.

02:18:46.000 They're moving.

02:18:46.000 Bam!

02:18:47.000 They're running right into the arrows.

02:18:48.000 That's great.

02:18:48.000 That's what I figured out how to do after a while.

02:18:50.000 And that gets super addictive because it's really rewarding.

02:18:54.000 Because first of all, you don't feel guilty at all because they're not even people.

02:18:57.000 They're just total cartoon silhouettes with Viking helmets on and shields.

02:19:01.000 So you don't feel bad.

02:19:03.000 What happened here?

02:19:04.000 I don't know.

02:19:04.000 Same video.

02:19:06.000 Is that the same thing?

02:19:07.000 Is that what happens to the game?

02:19:08.000 Yeah, it must be a later level.

02:19:09.000 They give you a gun.

02:19:11.000 That's hilarious! 1.00

02:19:12.000 They're like, you're so good, you realize that it's stupid to have a bow and arrow. 0.99

02:19:16.000 Here, we'll give you a laser. 0.97

02:19:17.000 Oh, they give you a laser raider.

02:19:19.000 Later.

02:19:19.000 Later, later.

02:19:20.000 Laser raider.

02:19:21.000 The Olympics right now are in this for Samsung devices.

02:19:25.000 They're in it?

02:19:25.000 Yeah, you can watch the Olympics in VR, like look around.

02:19:29.000 Oh, wow. 0.77

02:19:30.000 Did you change, or did you try the porn though? 0.91

02:19:33.000 No, I did not. 0.76

02:19:34.000 The porn is what's going to really get you. 1.00

02:19:36.000 I was going to, but Duncan was too insistent that I do it, and I got nervous, and I got the fuck out of there. 0.99

02:19:41.000 I was like, you gotta relax, son. 0.95

02:19:43.000 You make me nervous.

02:19:44.000 You don't want to have a goggle on. 0.97

02:19:46.000 Dude, I'm telling you, you gotta watch the porn, man!

02:19:49.000 I'll sit over here! 0.99

02:19:51.000 You won't even see me!

02:19:53.000 He wanted to look at your lips when you were watching.

02:19:59.000 He probably Snapchatted the whole thing while you were playing anyways.

02:20:04.000 The porn though really is something that changes everything.

02:20:09.000 Watching porn, you take it off and you're like, oh no, I felt closer to the girl than I thought I would.

02:20:16.000 That's going to save porn if this does catch on.

02:20:20.000 Well, maybe, because if they can monetize the HTC and the Oculus to the point where they can lock down the format, like the way they have the iPhone locked down, you can't add anything to the App Store unless Apple gives you approval.

02:20:33.000 If they can control it in that sort of same way, I'm not saying that's the best thing for everybody, because I kind of like the idea of open source things.

02:20:42.000 I use a Mac.

02:20:44.000 And I use it for convenience and because I'm too busy. 1.00

02:20:47.000 I ain't got time to fuck with some Windows shit. 0.99

02:20:49.000 But part of me likes the fact that Windows is open. 0.99

02:20:53.000 And I've heard that argument before. 0.99

02:20:55.000 I've had conversations with people before where they're like, look, anybody could write shit for Windows. 0.95

02:21:00.000 It's like you can make products that work on Windows. 0.98

02:21:02.000 You can make your own laptops.

02:21:03.000 You can put together your own desktops.

02:21:05.000 It's a much more open sort of a platform.

02:21:09.000 Then Mac is because Mac is the software developer and the hardware developer. 0.72

02:21:13.000 The good thing about that is everything works pretty fucking good.

02:21:15.000 Like you get a laptop from Apple, you're pretty fucking sure it's gonna work awesome. 0.78

02:21:21.000 Except mine died this week.

02:21:23.000 What happened?

02:21:24.000 Just stopped working. 0.99

02:21:25.000 We've had every fucking computer dies. 0.99

02:21:27.000 Yeah, I know. 0.99

02:21:28.000 Windows even, right?

02:21:29.000 They all die.

02:21:31.000 What's my point?

02:21:32.000 My point is...

02:21:33.000 I don't have a point.

02:21:34.000 If I had a point, it would be that...

02:21:38.000 Taking it and monetizing the applications that you would use for the HTC Vive or Oculus only makes sense.

02:21:45.000 I think what we're going to see, though, is especially when the Xbox and the PlayStation release their VR counterpoints, I think that's when it's really going to become an everyday thing.

02:21:55.000 And I think it's going to hurt the...

02:21:58.000 These kind of guys, like the HTCs and the Oculus people, a lot.

02:22:03.000 Because I think it's going to be like computer games, and then, oh hey, this is an Xbox, you know?

02:22:09.000 That kind of killed PC gaming a lot, in a lot of ways.

02:22:12.000 I think there's going to be a lot of copyright lawsuits for sure, because they're going to have to figure out who invented the critical aspects for truly immersive virtual reality.

02:22:25.000 What critical aspects are there?

02:22:27.000 Have they identified them?

02:22:28.000 Who invented those?

02:22:29.000 Because those are huge.

02:22:31.000 You know, if one guy figured out a way to make the frame rates incredibly smooth, so there's no ability to discern when you're moving left or right, whether you're moving fast or slow.

02:22:40.000 If one guy wrote some sort of a program or figured out something to do, I would imagine, and I'm not a lawyer, obviously, but I would imagine there'd be some sort of a case for that.

02:22:47.000 Like, all these trolls, patent trolls, that Apple gets hit with all the time.

02:22:51.000 Like, I would imagine that it's going to be crazy when it comes to this stuff.

02:22:55.000 Yeah, unless it's already been licensed out.

02:22:58.000 It could be just some old guy going, give me $2 million a year, you're good! 0.98

02:23:08.000 Brian's idea of commerce is an episode or one of the Back to the Future movies where he pulls up a DeLorean and he needs some plutonium.

02:23:20.000 This guy just happens to have it.

02:23:22.000 I think next year is when Xbox is releasing theirs.

02:23:25.000 I think PlayStation is coming out this year, maybe.

02:23:27.000 I don't know.

02:23:28.000 Well, I don't think you can patent virtual reality.

02:23:30.000 I mean, Lawnmower Man was, what was that, 1992?

02:23:33.000 What year was Lawnmower Man?

02:23:35.000 Find that out.

02:23:36.000 Let's guess.

02:23:37.000 I would guess 1994. 94. 95?

02:23:42.000 I say 92. 92?

02:23:45.000 Woo! 0.99

02:23:45.000 March 6, 1992. By the way, complete total guess. 0.99

02:23:49.000 I had no idea I was right.

02:23:51.000 Okay, but Total Recall is also a virtual reality movie, right?

02:23:54.000 I should re-watch it.

02:23:55.000 No, Running Man.

02:23:56.000 Oh, that's terrible.

02:23:58.000 Horrible.

02:23:58.000 That did not last.

02:23:59.000 This is a raper of your childhood. 1.00

02:24:01.000 I'm telling you, people were stupid as fuck back when we were kids. 1.00

02:24:04.000 We didn't realize how dumb we were until we watched our old movies. 1.00

02:24:07.000 Was it? 0.97

02:24:07.000 It was 1990 for Total Recall. 0.97

02:24:10.000 1990. Interesting.

02:24:12.000 Even earlier.

02:24:13.000 So those are virtual reality movies.

02:24:16.000 So it's not like virtual reality.

02:24:18.000 It's like some thing that someone invented.

02:24:20.000 It's really like a hope and a dream.

02:24:22.000 It's an oasis in a desert.

02:24:24.000 It's like everybody who lives a shitbag life is hoping there's got to be some way that I can be Superman.

02:24:31.000 Total Recall wasn't technically virtual reality.

02:24:34.000 It was false memories being implanted in your brain.

02:24:37.000 Stranger Days.

02:24:38.000 That's why he was living now.

02:24:39.000 Stranger Days.

02:24:40.000 That's true.

02:24:41.000 But that reality is kind of virtual.

02:24:44.000 It's creating an artificial memory.

02:24:47.000 No, you're totally right.

02:24:48.000 It was an artificial memory movie.

02:24:50.000 Yeah, Strange Days was a virtual reality movie.

02:24:52.000 But there's been a few others, right?

02:24:55.000 There's been a few others.

02:24:56.000 But what do you think was the big one?

02:24:59.000 What's the biggest one?

02:25:01.000 Virtual reality movie?

02:25:02.000 The Matrix?

02:25:03.000 The Matrix, yeah.

02:25:05.000 Yeah, of course, right?

02:25:06.000 I didn't even think of that.

02:25:07.000 Yeah, that's the biggest.

02:25:09.000 So, like, I don't think anybody could come along and say they invented virtual reality.

02:25:13.000 Like, that's sort of like a...

02:25:16.000 It's like a horn blowing in the distance that we all knew was coming.

02:25:19.000 And it's not even...

02:25:20.000 Even if you look at video games, you can say video games are virtual reality, just very bad versions of them.

02:25:25.000 You know, like Super Mario Brothers.

02:25:27.000 That's a virtual reality of a plumber.

02:25:30.000 Mm-hmm.

02:25:31.000 What is this?

02:25:32.000 Virtual reality is coming to your movie theater near you?

02:25:34.000 Extends.

02:25:35.000 I've heard a lot of people talk about this.

02:25:36.000 It's a pretty cool movie.

02:25:37.000 I don't think I've ever seen it.

02:25:38.000 I haven't even heard of it.

02:25:39.000 It came out in 1999. I think Jude Law's in it.

02:25:41.000 That's the name of a boner pill.

02:25:42.000 Jennifer Jason Leigh.

02:25:43.000 Mm-hmm.

02:25:45.000 I don't know, I can't speak on it, but I've heard a lot of people say that it was like an under-the-radar kind of good movie.

02:25:50.000 It came out in 1999, which is the same year The Matrix came out, which is probably why no one heard about it.

02:25:55.000 Huh.

02:25:55.000 Is it supposed to be good?

02:25:57.000 Three and a half stars?

02:25:58.000 Is that three and a quarter stars or three and a half?

02:26:00.000 Rotten Tomatoes, 71. Fucking Rotten Tomatoes. 0.98

02:26:03.000 Star Search. 1.00

02:26:04.000 We have uncovered an empire of lies.

02:26:08.000 Mm-hmm.

02:26:11.000 Maybe the corporation realizes the benefit is in telling the truth.

02:26:15.000 The way to make the money is not to Create bad reviews or fake reviews.

02:26:21.000 The money is in being brutally honest and reaping the rewards of people coming to read these really cunty reviews.

02:26:33.000 That's why I get my news and information from only hashtags nowadays.

02:26:37.000 Oh, that's a good move.

02:26:38.000 Do you do that?

02:26:39.000 Every time there's a helicopter in Burbank, I'm like, hashtag Burbank.

02:26:42.000 I'm like, what's going on?

02:26:43.000 This is what I do every morning when I wake up.

02:26:44.000 I go, hashtag apocalypse.

02:26:47.000 I see what's the most recent post, and then I go back to sleep.

02:26:50.000 Yeah.

02:26:51.000 I go outside and shoot my rubber elk.

02:26:53.000 It's more fast than accurate, though.

02:26:55.000 It's usually one guy going, dude, there's a helicopter down on the street. 0.97

02:26:58.000 Well, there's definitely some shit going down in these, like, if you follow, like, Social media news feeds, like people that are on the scene that are talking about some cop shooting some kid or something like that. 0.97

02:27:10.000 I mean, that's one of the best ways to get some data. 0.97

02:27:13.000 The question is the veracity of the data, like whether or not it's... 0.95

02:27:17.000 God damn, I sound like a professor. 0.90

02:27:18.000 I need to apply for a job somewhere. 1.00

02:27:20.000 Teaching.

02:27:21.000 The veracity of the data must come into question.

02:27:24.000 The biases of the person.

02:27:27.000 Did you go to their Twitter page?

02:27:28.000 What are they into?

02:27:29.000 How many Noam Chomsky books have they read?

02:27:31.000 Are you sure they're right?

02:27:35.000 You never know. 0.99

02:27:37.000 But you can find out some shit's going down. 0.99

02:27:39.000 There's a video of the Dallas shootout between the guy and the cops. 1.00

02:27:44.000 The former military guy who killed all those fucking cops. 1.00

02:27:50.000 Woo! 1.00

02:27:51.000 That's a tough video to watch, man.

02:27:53.000 There's this one scene.

02:27:54.000 I think it was him that did it or someone else who shot someone else.

02:27:58.000 I don't know.

02:27:59.000 Here's all I saw.

02:28:00.000 A person was running down the street and a person and these two people involved in a gunfight and one guy shot behind the guy and hit the wall behind them and then used that as a distraction to run in front of him and shoot him when he's laying down.

02:28:18.000 I was like, wow.

02:28:20.000 I was like, that guy has done this before.

02:28:23.000 Video games.

02:28:23.000 Yeah!

02:28:25.000 I hate to say it, but it really is video games, guys.

02:28:29.000 Well, in this case, if it's the same guy who killed all those people, it's a guy who was in war in the first place.

02:28:35.000 So he'd actually play the ultimate video game.

02:28:37.000 He's playing actual war.

02:28:39.000 But these school shootings and stuff, man.

02:28:41.000 Do you remember that Call of Duty when you walk into the airport and you just mow down people?

02:28:46.000 Like, you just pretty much go into LAX with a machine gun and just start spraying everybody.

02:28:50.000 That alone...

02:28:51.000 I remember even playing it going...

02:28:53.000 I can't believe my eyes and brain are seeing this right now.

02:28:57.000 And I've played so many video games before that I've gone outside and forgot that I'm not in that video game still.

02:29:04.000 This is crazy.

02:29:05.000 So they gun down all the people?

02:29:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:29:07.000 Oh shit! 1.00

02:29:08.000 And you're just walking through the airport doing this. 1.00

02:29:10.000 You're finding people hiding in stores and shit. 1.00

02:29:13.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:29:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:29:16.000 Oh my god, this is so not good for your brain.

02:29:19.000 I know!

02:29:20.000 And so you saw that Trump supporter suction cup Michael, er, swimmer guy.

02:29:25.000 See, I'm all in favor of video games, and I don't even have a problem with quake-like violence. 0.99

02:29:33.000 But this is fucked up because this is murder. 0.99

02:29:35.000 You're just running around assassinating average moms and dads and brothers and sisters. 1.00

02:29:41.000 Yeah.

02:29:41.000 Like, this is a video game where you're deriving pleasure from gunning people down.

02:29:46.000 Like, why would you...

02:29:47.000 And this is available to buy at Target.

02:29:50.000 It is?

02:29:51.000 Yeah, this is just Call of Duty, like, two years ago.

02:29:54.000 This is insane. 1.00

02:29:55.000 And look at this guy's walking through the fucking Starbucks. 1.00

02:29:57.000 Yeah, the bookstore. 1.00

02:29:58.000 So is this a choice he's making to just gun down civilians?

02:30:01.000 You don't have to do this in the game.

02:30:03.000 We'll still go through it.

02:30:04.000 Everyone else will shoot for you instead, basically. 1.00

02:30:06.000 So you can just decide to be a killer. 0.99

02:30:08.000 And guess what you're going to do, Joe? 0.97

02:30:09.000 You are actually going to not... 0.99

02:30:11.000 You're going to actually shoot people. 0.92

02:30:13.000 Because I've played this and I'm like, this is horrible! 0.98

02:30:15.000 Why am I doing that?

02:30:19.000 And I was like, even people hiding.

02:30:21.000 Please, no!

02:30:23.000 I'll talk to them.

02:30:24.000 I'm like, yeah?

02:30:25.000 You're hiding, boy? 0.98

02:30:27.000 And then you'd shoot him? 1.00

02:30:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:30:28.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:30:29.000 In Grand Theft Auto, I do the same shit, man. 1.00

02:30:32.000 It's ridiculous. 1.00

02:30:33.000 It's like, why am I doing this? 1.00

02:30:35.000 In Grand Theft Auto, it's a lot more fucked up. 1.00

02:30:38.000 It started with the hooker giving a blowjob and then killing her when Grand Theft Auto first came out. 1.00

02:30:44.000 Do you have to kill her? 1.00

02:30:45.000 No. 0.99

02:30:46.000 No, you should just give her money, let her go about her way, and thank her. 0.99

02:30:48.000 Some people kill her? 1.00

02:30:49.000 Oh, I kill them every time. 1.00

02:30:50.000 Get my money back. 1.00

02:30:52.000 If you kill the hooker, you get your money back? 1.00

02:30:54.000 Yeah, and if she has any extra money. 1.00

02:30:56.000 Oh my god, dude, that's so crazy.

02:30:58.000 But like in Grand Theft Auto, I don't even play the missions. 0.98

02:31:01.000 I'll just go to the gun store, get as much shit as I possible for... 0.97

02:31:04.000 We're good to go. 0.99

02:31:23.000 Yeah, but that's... 1.00

02:31:24.000 It is fucked up that you could be a monster. 1.00

02:31:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:31:27.000 And with no consequences. 1.00

02:31:29.000 I guess in my head, I just have to say that they're all rapists or something. 0.64

02:31:32.000 But here's the problem.

02:31:34.000 At what point in time is this going to become...

02:31:38.000 Like, way more disturbing because it's going to be virtual.

02:31:40.000 Like, this is not virtual yet.

02:31:42.000 It's just you're looking at a screen.

02:31:43.000 Have you seen the virtual version of this yet?

02:31:45.000 But you're very aware that it's not real, right?

02:31:48.000 Like, at what point in time are you going to be not aware that it's not real?

02:31:51.000 You're going to throw a grenade at this guy, really?

02:31:53.000 I tell you...

02:31:55.000 Yeah, oh yeah.

02:31:56.000 I strapped like sticky bombs onto people.

02:31:58.000 But it's gotten to the point where I used to play games, not this game, but City of Heroes, this like dorky game, but I played it straight for a month, like every single hour of the day a long time ago. 0.99

02:32:09.000 Oh shit, he chose a broken bottle. 0.98

02:32:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:32:14.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:32:16.000 You should see what I do in the strip club. 1.00

02:32:18.000 I catch it on fire and I just burn strippers, man. 0.95

02:32:20.000 I put my bike in the front door so they can't escape. 0.97

02:32:23.000 It's great.

02:32:24.000 This is crazy, man.

02:32:27.000 Oh my god, he just stabbed that guy. 1.00

02:32:29.000 This is so fucked up. 1.00

02:32:31.000 He's stabbing him in the ass with a broken bottle. 1.00

02:32:34.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1.00

02:32:36.000 Look at this. 1.00

02:32:36.000 Look at his butthole. 1.00

02:32:37.000 Look, his butthole's bleeding. 1.00

02:32:38.000 This is so fucked up. 1.00

02:32:41.000 You know what, man? 1.00

02:32:43.000 Tipper Gore was right.

02:32:44.000 She saw the future.

02:32:45.000 She was trying to stop rap lyrics. 1.00

02:32:47.000 This is ultimately what was down the road.

02:32:51.000 Al Gore's wife.

02:32:52.000 A lot of people don't remember that.

02:32:53.000 Al Gore's wife in the 1980s went on a crusade against violent music and violent lyrics and rap.

02:33:01.000 And she was hated.

02:33:03.000 It's really interesting. 0.99

02:33:05.000 And she just shut the fuck up when he was running for president. 1.00

02:33:10.000 Wait, wasn't she against two live crew? 0.99

02:33:12.000 Yeah.

02:33:12.000 She was against a bunch of them.

02:33:15.000 I think it was Ice-T had an issue with her. 1.00

02:33:17.000 Let's get naked and fucked tonight. 1.00

02:33:19.000 That was one of his jams. 1.00

02:33:22.000 That was a joint, a nice iced tea joint.

02:33:28.000 She used, I think, Purple Rain, which is what she used to lead, that ended up with the parental advisory sticker. 0.96

02:33:36.000 She used that as her example. 0.94

02:33:37.000 It might have been that or something else I'm reading.

02:33:40.000 Sorry, I lost it.

02:33:43.000 I'm telling you we've got to take Jamie right to a doctor.

02:33:45.000 Whatever doctor you're going to, you're going to take Jamie to that doctor.

02:33:48.000 Maybe it's working with me gives you head injuries.

02:33:52.000 Prince gave us parental guidance.

02:33:54.000 What if we find that out?

02:33:55.000 You're allergic to me. 1.00

02:33:57.000 You have like some black mold in your asshole or something. 1.00

02:34:00.000 You're just allergic to my smell. 1.00

02:34:02.000 Yo, dude, here's some crazy shit. 1.00

02:34:06.000 Did you know that, like, if someone's allergic to horses, they can't even ride in a carriage behind a horse? 0.99

02:34:13.000 Oh, really?

02:34:14.000 Yeah.

02:34:14.000 And I was thinking of this.

02:34:16.000 You know, women, some women, are literally allergic to their man's cum. 0.99

02:34:22.000 Like, the guy shoots loads on them, they get rashes on their body. 0.98

02:34:25.000 Like, what?

02:34:26.000 Like...

02:34:28.000 It burns! 1.00

02:34:29.000 Like literally some demonic shit, man. 1.00

02:34:32.000 Like a guy shoots a load on you and like carves his name, takes his load and writes it with his finger and just leaves it there dry. 1.00

02:34:39.000 And you have the mark of the demon on your stomach.

02:34:42.000 Is that because of food?

02:34:45.000 Allergies that maybe that's inside to come maybe?

02:34:48.000 Maybe she's allergic to peanuts and he just eats nonstop peanuts?

02:34:51.000 That is a very good question.

02:34:53.000 It's probably something like that.

02:34:54.000 It could be.

02:34:55.000 I wonder if there's a reason.

02:34:57.000 Jamie, research that.

02:35:02.000 Find out what makes cum allergenic.

02:35:07.000 And feel free to deduct any research from your taxes.

02:35:11.000 I know, like, some girls, like, the pH balance is just totally different from you or whatever, and they break out or they swall. 1.00

02:35:19.000 This is saying she was diagnosed with human seminal plasma hypersensitivity, an allergy to semen.

02:35:26.000 The problem with guessing that...

02:35:29.000 Is we don't know how many different people came on her.

02:35:32.000 And whether or not it all had the same effect.

02:35:37.000 What's the P-Ratio? 0.97

02:35:38.000 We need to do a double-blind, placebo-controlled, not gangbang, but like, what would it be if a bunch of dudes just jerked off on a girl? 1.00

02:35:48.000 Circle jerk. 1.00

02:35:48.000 Circle jerk? 1.00

02:35:50.000 There's a little pee and cum, right? 0.99

02:35:51.000 Circle jerk involves a cracker, though, no? 0.99

02:35:53.000 Like an official circle jerk?

02:35:55.000 That's like a sloppy biscuit that Bert was telling us about. 1.00

02:35:57.000 Chrysler loves that shit. 1.00

02:35:58.000 See, I always thought that a circle jerk involved just a bunch of dudes jerking off together, which was weird enough. 1.00

02:36:03.000 Then I heard that the last guy to cum has to eat the cracker. 1.00

02:36:05.000 I went, what kind of a fucking world are we inventing here? 1.00

02:36:09.000 Why do you think Bert's so fat from all those crackers, his cum crackers? 1.00

02:36:12.000 No, he's fat from all the booze to forget the cum cracker. 1.00

02:36:17.000 The cum cracker, I mean, unless it has a billion calories in it. 0.94

02:36:20.000 It was a long time ago.

02:36:21.000 I heard Tom's been working out, drinking a lot of water.

02:36:24.000 He's looking healthy.

02:36:25.000 So you're on Burt is Fat?

02:36:26.000 You're on Team Burt is Fat versus Team Tom is Fat?

02:36:28.000 I'm not going against my own moms.

02:36:30.000 I heard Tom's the water champ.

02:36:31.000 Yeah, Tom is the water champ.

02:36:33.000 Christina never drinks water.

02:36:35.000 They don't drink water?

02:36:36.000 Do you know they take a shower together all the time and Tom pees on her?

02:36:40.000 What?

02:36:41.000 Would she be saying this on the internet?

02:36:43.000 They talked about it, I think.

02:36:45.000 Well, I would do that too if I was a married comedian. 1.00

02:36:48.000 They told a crazy story I never heard Joey Diaz told about on their show about him shitting in the shower. 0.98

02:36:54.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 0.98

02:36:55.000 Push it through? 1.00

02:36:56.000 Throw it in the toilet and shit. 1.00

02:36:59.000 Joey Diaz did that? 1.00

02:37:00.000 I believe that. 1.00

02:37:01.000 He'd shit on his own wall a couple years ago. 1.00

02:37:03.000 He had to stop because he got caught by his wife. 0.99

02:37:05.000 He got caught. 0.97

02:37:05.000 Joey Diaz is a straight savage. 0.97

02:37:07.000 Blue belt. 0.99

02:37:09.000 He's a savage.

02:37:10.000 Yeah, he got his blue belt in jiu-jitsu.

02:37:11.000 Legitimate blue belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

02:37:14.000 He's been doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu for, I believe, four or five years now. 0.99

02:37:21.000 Damn. 0.99

02:37:21.000 Joey's been really into it. 0.99

02:37:23.000 It's helped him.

02:37:24.000 I don't want to get that wrong, so if I got that number wrong, but if I guessed it, I think it would be four or five years.

02:37:29.000 But he really loves it.

02:37:30.000 He loves it for fitness, for health.

02:37:33.000 He's super humble about it, but he does it all the time.

02:37:37.000 I bet you every single person he goes against taps out.

02:37:40.000 He's going to have his black belt in like two months.

02:37:42.000 He's like, the smell!

02:37:44.000 The smell?

02:37:46.000 What are you saying?

02:37:47.000 Smells?

02:37:48.000 Think about these things before you say them.

02:37:49.000 Remember his joke about climbing up the stairs, you'll see Martians? 1.00

02:37:53.000 Yeah, he used to do this joke about, you want to see UFOs walk behind me when I'm farting up a flight of stairs?

02:38:01.000 You'll see Martians? 0.98

02:38:06.000 He has no tolerance for nonsense. 0.99

02:38:09.000 If Eddie Bravo starts talking about UFOs or anything like crazy crypto fucking zoology type shit or whatever Eddie's into recently, Joey will fucking get up and leave the room. 1.00

02:38:20.000 Joe Rogan, I don't want to listen to your fucking UFO talk, okay? 0.99

02:38:23.000 I know you had that show with Duncan. 0.99

02:38:25.000 You went looking for Bigfoot. 1.00

02:38:27.000 Leave him in the fucking forest, okay? 1.00

02:38:30.000 We're eating like gentlemen. 1.00

02:38:31.000 He used to call Duncan Satanic that Satan worshipper.

02:38:35.000 Do you remember? 1.00

02:38:36.000 There's a fucking... 0.99

02:38:37.000 Remember when Anton LaVey or Stanton LaVey, whichever one it was, the young guy, got married, and Duncan performed at his wedding. 0.99

02:38:45.000 Dancing.

02:38:46.000 And he invited a bunch of us to go to his wedding.

02:38:48.000 So we went to his wedding, and Duncan was involved with this, like, Satanic, fake, Satanic wedding.

02:38:56.000 And Dane Foley's ex-wife was there, too.

02:38:58.000 Yeah.

02:38:58.000 And Satanic Duncan.

02:39:00.000 Yeah, because he had this routine that he used to do.

02:39:02.000 I don't know if he still does it anymore.

02:39:03.000 That's him talking on his phone.

02:39:05.000 What does he say?

02:39:06.000 Give me some volume.

02:39:09.000 You can play this full screen, too.

02:39:14.000 It's Joey.

02:39:15.000 Duncan Trussell.

02:39:20.000 We're going to have a little talk, you and I. Sit down.

02:39:23.000 What's this fucking devil shit I'm hearing? 1.00

02:39:27.000 Everybody's telling me you're a devil worshipper. 1.00

02:39:30.000 Duncan, we can't have that.

02:39:33.000 We can't have that.

02:39:34.000 You understand me?

02:39:34.000 You're a comedian.

02:39:35.000 No more of this devil shit. 1.00

02:39:37.000 People are scared. 1.00

02:39:39.000 I got it from four different people, not even Joe's people. 1.00

02:39:42.000 I got it from one of Joe's friends, but everybody else at the store is saying the devil, you're walking around with a fucking crucifix on your head and shit. 1.00

02:39:50.000 This is getting... 1.00

02:39:50.000 That you put a little fucking tattoo on your skull with 666 that you're calling yourself Duncan. 1.00

02:39:58.000 This is getting... 1.00

02:39:58.000 Duncan, we can't have this no more. 1.00

02:40:00.000 You understand me? 1.00

02:40:02.000 If we have to kill a little homo, we'll kill him. 1.00

02:40:04.000 Little homo. 1.00

02:40:05.000 We can't have this. 0.92

02:40:06.000 You're a legit cat. 0.94

02:40:07.000 You're a Catholic.

02:40:07.000 Were you raised Catholic?

02:40:09.000 What were you raised? 1.00

02:40:11.000 Alright, then be fucking proud. 1.00

02:40:13.000 No more of this devil shit. 1.00

02:40:15.000 We can't have this. 1.00

02:40:16.000 You're scaring people.

02:40:17.000 These people are white people in LA. You're scaring them, bro. 1.00

02:40:21.000 They want to call the authorities and shit. 0.99

02:40:23.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

02:40:24.000 His eyes.

02:40:25.000 Please, cut this.

02:40:27.000 I heard, uh, what's his name?

02:40:29.000 By the way, hide to the moon right now.

02:40:30.000 What's the fact guy at the store?

02:40:31.000 The guy who does the creepy show.

02:40:33.000 On a flip phone.

02:40:33.000 Wants to call the cops.

02:40:34.000 This is at the Atlanta punchline.

02:40:35.000 Bro, he's called.

02:40:37.000 I got...

02:40:37.000 Before people called the house and left messages, they're worried about Duncan Trussell.

02:40:41.000 This shit has to end, Duncan. 0.99

02:40:42.000 This ain't a game, Duncan. 1.00

02:40:44.000 They take kids like you, they buttfuck you, and they put the Satan cross up your ass, and then, you know what I'm saying? 1.00

02:40:50.000 You can't come back from that. 1.00

02:40:51.000 You can't recover from that. 0.99

02:40:52.000 I'm not fucking laughing here. 0.97

02:41:11.000 And I remember going, when at that time of, that period of time, like, me and Duncan, I would always go to, like, his friend's house, that guy, and you'd be in these houses, and it was, like, people that believed in Satan, maybe not seriously or anything, but I remember going, 0.99

02:41:27.000 wow, Duncan is in some deep shit, right?

02:41:30.000 But to Duncan, it was always, I think, a joke, but it was, we were hanging out with really intense people, you know? 0.99

02:41:37.000 Yeah, super intense.

02:41:39.000 Yeah.

02:41:39.000 Yeah, well, Duncan's into intense humans and intense ideas, and for a while he was really attracted to this idea, not of Satanism in that Satan is an actual being and that the devil is real and that you're praying to the devil, but Satanism in that these people are essentially hedonists.

02:41:56.000 They were just seeking pleasure and trying to have as much fun as they could, but they were also allowing other people to do it, too.

02:42:01.000 So he was redefining what Satanism is.

02:42:04.000 I'm like, well, if that's...

02:42:05.000 Okay, that's the problem with all ideologies. 0.93

02:42:08.000 You're locked into If you want to call it Satanism, and it's all, hey man, just be free, just have a good time, and, you know, just fucking do whatever feels good. 0.98

02:42:18.000 Terrible, don't get a president. 0.94

02:42:19.000 But there's a big difference between that in and of itself, which is an awesome idea, right?

02:42:23.000 Like, everybody agrees.

02:42:24.000 Like, you should, yeah, have fun, man, we're only here for a little bit of time. 0.96

02:42:28.000 If you like getting your toes sucked... 1.00

02:42:31.000 Fucking get your toes sucked. 1.00

02:42:32.000 Who cares? 1.00

02:42:33.000 Right? 0.99

02:42:34.000 But there is a big fucking difference between that and something that's connected to a demon. 0.99

02:42:40.000 It's connected to a fallen angel who became a devil, who lives in a smoldering inferno in the middle of the earth, and if he gets a hold of you and you don't listen to God, you will burn to the end of time. 0.99

02:42:53.000 What? 0.99

02:42:55.000 What are you, retarded? 1.00

02:42:56.000 Why does it have to be connected to that? 0.98

02:42:57.000 Why is, like, good feeling and having a good time and pleasure and being a...

02:43:02.000 a ho-bag? 1.00

02:43:03.000 If that's what you're into, if you're a girl, you're, like, wearing dental floss up your ass and going out to bars and sucking three dicks, who cares? 1.00

02:43:11.000 Right? 1.00

02:43:11.000 Why does it have to be connected to the devil? 1.00

02:43:13.000 Because that's a sin.

02:43:14.000 All those are sins, dude.

02:43:16.000 Enough, Brian Redman!

02:43:19.000 I forsake thee!

02:43:22.000 Enough. 1.00

02:43:23.000 Enough with these fucking sins. 1.00

02:43:24.000 One last little thing I want to show you, Joe. 1.00

02:43:25.000 Have you seen this new game?

02:43:27.000 Maybe or may not have.

02:43:28.000 It's called No Man's Sky.

02:43:30.000 Whoa.

02:43:30.000 So what's really interesting about it is, as far as I understand, I've been trying to figure it out.

02:43:36.000 It's an unexplored space.

02:43:39.000 And there's something like 10 billion planets that are being populated in this multiplayer universe.

02:43:46.000 And as a player, what you're supposed to do is go and explore and find species and planets.

02:43:51.000 Hold on.

02:43:52.000 Did you say 10 billion planets?

02:43:54.000 Yeah, in the first 24 hours or two days this was up, they've already named more species in this game than there are on Earth.

02:44:01.000 It's all computer generated, so when you play the game, it automatically generates a planet. 0.98

02:44:06.000 So it's just random shit. 1.00

02:44:08.000 Yeah, I get that, but what the fuck? 1.00

02:44:10.000 Say that again? 0.99

02:44:11.000 There's more species in this game in how many days?

02:44:13.000 I'll look up that article that says it.

02:44:15.000 It's more than...

02:44:16.000 More species...

02:44:18.000 But, you know, the reviews of this game is pretty boring.

02:44:23.000 Oh my god.

02:44:24.000 It's a little slower of a game.

02:44:26.000 It's not like a first-person shooter.

02:44:27.000 It's not that typical kind of game, but it's supposedly a truly open universe, and the game just came out this week.

02:44:33.000 A lot of people have been really anticipating it for the last couple months.

02:44:36.000 So is this game, it says truly open universe, so is this game constantly inventing itself on the fly?

02:44:42.000 Yes.

02:44:43.000 Oh my god.

02:44:45.000 Sort of like real...

02:44:46.000 Dude, do you have any idea what it's going to be like when that's on the HTC Vive and we're not in 2016 but when they're in 2067?

02:44:55.000 We're living in another world, man.

02:44:57.000 For instance, in one night we hit 10 million species discovered in MMS. That's more than has been discovered on Earth.

02:45:06.000 What is going on?

02:45:08.000 It is a testament to how amazing our network coders are that discoveries are still working at all.

02:45:16.000 This is yesterday.

02:45:18.000 We're already in a simulation, Joe.

02:45:21.000 It is for them.

02:45:22.000 You know, it's like, that's a simulation.

02:45:26.000 I mean, it's not the best one, but it's like taking a Motorola StarTAC.

02:45:31.000 If someone says, do you have a cell phone?

02:45:32.000 You're like, yes, I do.

02:45:33.000 And you pull out a Motorola StarTAC. 0.99

02:45:35.000 They're like, that's not a fucking cell phone. 0.99

02:45:36.000 But it is. 0.99

02:45:38.000 It's just not a good one.

02:45:39.000 Like, are we already in the simulation?

02:45:41.000 Yeah, yeah, it's already happened.

02:45:42.000 It's just not good yet.

02:45:44.000 You kind of know it's there.

02:45:45.000 But it's definitely a simulation.

02:45:49.000 And it's getting way weirder.

02:45:51.000 It's getting way weirder.

02:45:53.000 I feel like when I pay attention to the news and I pay attention to the internet and I just, like, step back and look at this crazy Trump-Clinton race and I look at This is bizarre strange world that we find ourselves sort of like waking up in. 0.73

02:46:17.000 I can only imagine how fucking weird it's gonna be in a decade. 0.67

02:46:22.000 I can only imagine.

02:46:26.000 We should really consider getting water and shelter and figuring out how to get solar power.

02:46:32.000 This could really fall apart.

02:46:35.000 That guy in Virginia, they took away his land.

02:46:39.000 What guy?

02:46:40.000 I think it was Virginia.

02:46:41.000 They took away his land because he...

02:46:43.000 It was off the grid.

02:46:44.000 He did everything off the grid.

02:46:46.000 So he was not paying any city utility at all.

02:46:50.000 And they didn't like it, so they just took his land away from him.

02:46:53.000 Which guy is this?

02:46:54.000 If you Google it, it was on the news.

02:46:56.000 Virginia homeowner fighting to keep property from being taken away by eminent domain.

02:47:01.000 Yeah, I think that's it.

02:47:03.000 Eminent domain is different.

02:47:05.000 That's from February. 1.00

02:47:07.000 That's old shit, bro. 1.00

02:47:09.000 Just too new. 1.00

02:47:10.000 Eminent domain is scary.

02:47:11.000 Because eminent domain is like if they're trying to put a highway through something, they can just buy your house.

02:47:15.000 You have to move.

02:47:18.000 You know, like you see those houses that are like on the side of the 405?

02:47:22.000 They're doomed.

02:47:24.000 They're doomed. 1.00

02:47:25.000 They're gonna spread that bitch. 1.00

02:47:26.000 You can't keep all these fucking people together. 1.00

02:47:29.000 It's just not working. 1.00

02:47:30.000 There's too many of us.

02:47:31.000 Unless everybody gets automatic cars, there's no more accidents.

02:47:34.000 And even then, we're going to realize what a bottleneck just the sheer volume of humans there are.

02:47:38.000 I'm pretty sure that's what's going to happen.

02:47:40.000 Even China just released their first new bus that cars can go underneath the bus.

02:47:45.000 I don't know if you've seen that, where it looks like this, and then the middle looks like you're going through a bridge or a tunnel.

02:47:52.000 So cars can drive through it, and the top part is the bus part.

02:47:57.000 And so things like that.

02:47:58.000 Wow.

02:47:59.000 Jesus.

02:47:59.000 See, there it is.

02:48:00.000 Yeah, I saw that.

02:48:01.000 It's like a train more than a bus, right?

02:48:03.000 Because it's on tracks?

02:48:04.000 Yeah.

02:48:05.000 But things like that, I think, are going to improve a lot.

02:48:08.000 I mean, imagine if that was just a non-continuous... 0.99

02:48:11.000 How many retards are going to be playing Pokemon and slam into your fucking train, knock it over on a traffic? 1.00

02:48:16.000 Right. 1.00

02:48:17.000 Yeah.

02:48:17.000 The problem is when you have that and things that are like regular cars that are driving the same road together, if you go under someone, you're almost like in contact with them.

02:48:27.000 So if you get in an accident while you're under there, Guys will change lanes while they're underneath those buses, and they'll collide into each other, and they'll fucking spin the bus out of control.

02:48:37.000 It'll go off the rails.

02:48:38.000 It'll crash into other people.

02:48:39.000 The Pope will die in a horrible crash on the 405 in Los Angeles. 0.78

02:48:44.000 The best Pope we've ever had was lost to this ridiculous policy of public transportation. 0.56

02:48:49.000 Los Angeles has always been an individual transportation city.

02:48:53.000 People love their cars.

02:48:54.000 They love to be by themselves.

02:48:56.000 I'm looking at this article, I found out this might not even be real.

02:49:01.000 Like this thing obviously exists, it's a real thing, but this exact one they showed last week or whenever this came out was the same, whatever train bus you want to call it, they showed in a test that they used six years before this, and it was only on like a 300 meter piece of land, and now this says if this project is even feasible or if it's even real.

02:49:20.000 They were just road testing it.

02:49:23.000 I read it as if they're just seeing if this would work, like testing.

02:49:28.000 Well, it makes sense.

02:49:32.000 I mean, it makes sense to have something like that, but if people can judge whether or not they...

02:49:37.000 If it's a car, it's one thing.

02:49:40.000 If a guy's hitting the brakes and turning the wheel and all that stuff, it's one thing.

02:49:44.000 Or if a bus, same kind of thing.

02:49:46.000 But as soon as people interact with trains...

02:49:49.000 I have a problem with that because one of them is super steady and static or moves at the same sort of speeds and it doesn't vary that much.

02:49:58.000 You just hit the brakes and do a bunch of things that people's cars do and the other one does.

02:50:02.000 So the one that does, the one that's real mobile, the person-driven car is going to figure out how to time that train.

02:50:09.000 They're going to take some chances. 0.99

02:50:10.000 If they're all running through the same road together and they're cutting each other off and It's going to be some assholes. 0.98

02:50:16.000 It doesn't seem like it's going to work as good. 0.99

02:50:18.000 People are going to text.

02:50:19.000 They're going to slam into that thing.

02:50:21.000 It's just weird.

02:50:22.000 You can't have a train and a car in the same place.

02:50:25.000 It seems about as real as Hyperloop maybe is right now.

02:50:28.000 Yeah, well that's sort of real.

02:50:30.000 At least everything that is real now, it was a whisper at one time.

02:50:34.000 So Hyperloop is real in the sense that no one's ridden on it yet, but that's moving.

02:50:40.000 There's movement in that direction.

02:50:42.000 There's concepts.

02:50:44.000 There's engineers working.

02:50:46.000 There's design.

02:50:48.000 There's all sorts of different people involved in technology.

02:50:50.000 They're being consulted.

02:50:51.000 They're trying to figure out how to make that actually come to light.

02:50:54.000 So that is real.

02:50:57.000 It's in the embryonic stages. 1.00

02:50:59.000 That fucking thing's gonna happen, man. 0.99

02:51:01.000 We're gonna be able to jet across the whole country in like an hour. 0.99

02:51:04.000 You know what that's gonna feel like, dude? 0.98

02:51:07.000 I'm gonna shit my pants. 0.99

02:51:09.000 I'm going to shit my pants. 0.99

02:51:12.000 Regular plane goes, what, 500 miles an hour? 0.97

02:51:15.000 Okay, let's go 2,000 miles an hour.

02:51:17.000 Wow.

02:51:18.000 So you get to the other side of the country in an hour and a half.

02:51:23.000 And you just pin to your seat.

02:51:27.000 Try to get up to go to the bathroom.

02:51:29.000 It's like, good luck.

02:51:30.000 A deer crosses it and it derails.

02:51:32.000 Boom! 0.99

02:51:33.000 If a deer crosses it, the front end of it is built like a sword.

02:51:36.000 Yeah.

02:51:37.000 It just slices through the deer.

02:51:38.000 Right.

02:51:39.000 That's what they should have.

02:51:40.000 They should have, like, the front of the thing should be, like...

02:51:45.000 Like, you know those things that you, when you cut an onion, you drop it down like slice or like an egg, like a hard-boiled egg?

02:51:52.000 You know those things?

02:51:53.000 Slice?

02:51:54.000 Egg slicer.

02:51:54.000 That's what the front of the train should be.

02:51:57.000 It should just be razor-sharp swords that if you're so retarded you want to step out or you want to push your cow in front of the train just to make a YouTube video, it just gets exploded instantaneously. 0.99

02:52:08.000 It just gets sliced through and turned into mush.

02:52:11.000 They pretty much have that already in the design when it's usually like a V or an Illuminati triangle, you know?

02:52:17.000 Yeah, which brings us back to that cop shooting that deer.

02:52:21.000 If that deer got eaten by a bunch of hungry people, I don't have nearly as much of a problem.

02:52:26.000 I thought you were going to say the deer was in the Illuminati.

02:52:27.000 No, the deer is a Zionist. 0.97

02:52:31.000 The deer, what the deer wants to do is stop the white Christian from prophylate. 0.98

02:52:37.000 That's why deer exist in mostly, primarily white Christian towns. 0.98

02:52:42.000 Go to Brooklyn, find yourself a deer.

02:52:46.000 Good luck.

02:52:47.000 Good luck.

02:52:48.000 Go by Cantor's Deli in Los Angeles and find yourself a deer.

02:52:53.000 Good luck.

02:52:56.000 Where you find Jews, you do not find deer. 0.99

02:52:59.000 But where you find good Christian folk, the Jews have made sure the deer grow and take over and suicide bomb your automobile. 1.00

02:53:12.000 If you're fine with that, that's on you. 0.82

02:53:14.000 But me, I want a Mad Max bumper from my Pinto.

02:53:20.000 Mad Max.

02:53:22.000 When you go to like places like South Dakota, any of those places where there's a lot of deer, I think, would you say Michigan is the worst?

02:53:30.000 Do you want me to say Michigan?

02:53:32.000 We went over the country like how many different people get in car accidents with deer every year and I think Michigan was fucking insane, like more than a hundred thousand people get in car accidents a year with deer. 0.73

02:53:49.000 Well, to be honest, people... 0.76

02:53:50.000 Alabama's the worst?

02:53:51.000 Yeah.

02:53:51.000 What are they at?

02:53:52.000 1 in 127. Wow.

02:53:57.000 1 in 127 car accidents involves a deer?

02:54:01.000 Chance of collision, it says.

02:54:02.000 Oh, my God.

02:54:03.000 That's a 1% chance, essentially. 1.00

02:54:05.000 That's like, if you drive 100 times, one time you're going to kick a fucking deer. 1.00

02:54:09.000 You know how crazy that is? 0.99

02:54:12.000 If you drive a hundred times, how many times have you driven a hundred times?

02:54:15.000 Michigan's a little, oh, there's a couple even higher.

02:54:17.000 Mississippi is the highest?

02:54:19.000 Michigan is one in 94. Wow.

02:54:22.000 Minnesota's.

02:54:22.000 They're not good drivers up there.

02:54:23.000 If you drive 94 times, but it doesn't matter if it's a deer on the road. 1.00

02:54:26.000 Why is that deer on the fucking road? 0.99

02:54:28.000 Mississippi's one in 84. Oh my God. 1.00

02:54:31.000 And then Montana's one in 175. Pennsylvania, one in 71. And then the top one.

02:54:37.000 I was in Montana recently. 0.99

02:54:39.000 Every fucking person up there has a battering ram welded to the front of their truck. 1.00

02:54:44.000 West Virginia. 1.00

02:54:45.000 One in 39. Oh my god!

02:54:48.000 Oh my god!

02:54:50.000 Sorry, go ahead.

02:54:51.000 I was in Michigan like a year ago and we drove down to do shows in like Michigan to Columbus, Ohio to whatever.

02:54:57.000 But the drive from Michigan to Columbus, there was so many dead deer on the side of the road.

02:55:01.000 Like, every half mile, there was just dead bodies and blood.

02:55:05.000 It was just guts and blood and deer everywhere.

02:55:07.000 It was really disgusting how many dead deer there were.

02:55:10.000 There's a lot, and there's rules of whether or not you can eat it.

02:55:13.000 If you get there right after the accident, I think you can call the cops in some states, and they'll let you take the deer home and eat it, which is nice.

02:55:22.000 I mean, if somebody leaves it behind...

02:55:23.000 Look, if you're a person that's poor, and you run across a deer that just got hit by a car, that's like 100 pounds of meat.

02:55:30.000 That's like 100 meals.

02:55:33.000 I mean, that's amazing for your family.

02:55:35.000 You can all...

02:55:37.000 So there's a lot of people that get excited about roadkill, but the real problem is it kills, I think it kills 200 people a year in this country.

02:55:46.000 Is that the number?

02:55:47.000 I think it's 200 people a year in this country alone die from collisions with deer.

02:55:54.000 200 times more than weed.

02:55:56.000 Well, it's 2 million car accidents or 1.5 million car accidents in this country every year with deer.

02:56:03.000 1.5 million.

02:56:05.000 And I think the number of people that die is like 200. Does that make sense?

02:56:10.000 But, either way, 1.5 million I'm 100% sure of.

02:56:14.000 Yeah, it says it leads to about 200 human deaths and 1.1 billion dollars in property damage every year.

02:56:20.000 Well, I've seen the property damage thing.

02:56:22.000 What about the deer's life?

02:56:23.000 Is that not worth money? 1.00

02:56:24.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

02:56:25.000 Oh, you put money on life! 1.00

02:56:28.000 I'm a killer. 0.96

02:56:29.000 I turned into a werewolf. 0.86

02:56:32.000 That bear video that I think you posted the other day.

02:56:35.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:56:36.000 That's so fucked up. 1.00

02:56:37.000 Not good. 1.00

02:56:39.000 That makes me want to buy a gun just for that.

02:56:41.000 Yeah.

02:56:42.000 Not good.

02:56:44.000 There's a lot of not good lately.

02:56:45.000 Did you see the mountain lion one?

02:56:47.000 Yeah.

02:56:47.000 Where the mountain lion was following the guy around, trying to figure out whether or not he should jack him?

02:56:51.000 So not good. 0.94

02:56:52.000 Big-ass old cat. 1.00

02:56:54.000 It's a big fucking cat. 1.00

02:56:56.000 And it's looking at him. 1.00

02:56:57.000 I don't know if it's an old cat, but, I mean, it's a mature cat.

02:57:00.000 It's a big cat.

02:57:01.000 Did he do what he should have done in that situation?

02:57:03.000 You kind of walked away, and I thought you're not supposed to.

02:57:06.000 You're not supposed to walk back, but you have to be careful in challenging it. 0.99

02:57:10.000 You're not supposed to look at it in the eyes, because it might instill a primal rage in that fucking murderous predator, where it just decides to fuck you up. 0.98

02:57:21.000 It's hard to say what you're supposed to do and what you're not supposed to do, because I've heard people say that you should talk loud, and I've heard people say that you should just walk away. 0.99

02:57:30.000 Jiggle your car keys.

02:57:32.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't think you can predict.

02:57:34.000 Just like you can't predict, like, a regular cat.

02:57:37.000 How many people have different kind of cats?

02:57:39.000 Like, you have different cats than I have.

02:57:40.000 We all have different cats.

02:57:42.000 And I've had a bunch of the same kind of cats, and they behave different. 0.99

02:57:48.000 All fucking animals are different, man. 0.99

02:57:50.000 You can run across one wolf that wants to fuck you up, and you can come across another wolf that doesn't want to have anything to do with you, wants to stay in the background and move away from you. 1.00

02:58:00.000 So it's entirely possible that this guy just ran across a cat that was thinking about eating a person. 0.99

02:58:07.000 Would he have been able to kill this and have been okay?

02:58:11.000 Oh, yeah.

02:58:12.000 Self-defense.

02:58:14.000 Yeah, if he had a weapon, but I don't think he had a weapon.

02:58:16.000 I don't think he had anything.

02:58:17.000 Like this, this isn't okay.

02:58:18.000 He couldn't have just killed it because it's near him? 0.91

02:58:20.000 Oh, yeah.

02:58:20.000 You would have to make a judgment call, and you would have to be able to support that judgment call.

02:58:24.000 Like, if someone was out there, right?

02:58:26.000 Say if you were a bow hunter, and you're having to stare down with this mountain lion.

02:58:30.000 You have to be absolutely sure that you've exhausted all of the possibilities.

02:58:36.000 But there's a fine line, right?

02:58:37.000 There's like, you want to be able to preserve your own life.

02:58:41.000 You want to make sure that you're okay. 0.75

02:58:42.000 But you also want to, if you're going to kill this thing, you want to be right about it.

02:58:48.000 So you have to figure out when you hit that switch.

02:58:52.000 So do you hold on to the arrow and do you hold your bow in front of that cat?

02:58:56.000 Like right there, I've got to be honest with you. 1.00

02:58:59.000 I might shoot that fucking cat. 1.00

02:59:01.000 That cat is 15 feet away from him, and this guy got away with it, but he didn't have to. 1.00

02:59:05.000 Now the cat's moving in on him at 15 feet away. 0.99

02:59:08.000 The problem is, once this thing jumps on you, you don't have a fucking chance. 0.99

02:59:13.000 And once it realizes how weak you really are, because you look way bigger than it, you're standing right there, that cat's dead. 0.99

02:59:19.000 Right there, broadside, that's 15 feet away from him. 0.85

02:59:23.000 I'm drawing an arrow back, and I'm getting rid of that cat.

02:59:25.000 I can't take that chance.

02:59:26.000 I'm not gonna die.

02:59:27.000 I'm not gonna die because I don't want it to die. 0.99

02:59:29.000 I don't want to kill it, but I don't want it to kill me, for fuck sure. 1.00

02:59:33.000 And this is an animal that is absolutely stalking a person. 1.00

02:59:35.000 It's trying to figure out whether or not it can do it.

02:59:38.000 Now, in this guy's case, he got lucky.

02:59:40.000 He talked enough.

02:59:42.000 Maybe he was a bigger guy.

02:59:43.000 Maybe the cat just didn't feel like it was worth it.

02:59:46.000 I would have been throwing rocks.

02:59:47.000 Maybe.

02:59:48.000 Maybe the rocks would make it charge.

02:59:50.000 You don't know, man.

02:59:51.000 You don't know.

02:59:52.000 That's the problem.

02:59:53.000 Like, someone can tell you if a...

02:59:54.000 The general rule of thumb is if a bear attacks you, play dead.

02:59:58.000 But if a cougar attacks you, fight back.

03:00:01.000 Where was his, by the way?

03:00:02.000 I think he was on his bike, so he had his bike in between him.

03:00:04.000 So maybe he could use it as like a little shield or something. 0.99

03:00:06.000 Fuck yeah, I'd be taking those tires off. 1.00

03:00:08.000 I'd beat that fucking thing to death. 1.00

03:00:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:00:10.000 I'd be scared as fuck right here, too.

03:00:12.000 This guy is so cool about this. 0.96

03:00:15.000 Unbelievable.

03:00:21.000 There's a mountain lion.

03:00:23.000 Right here.

03:00:25.000 I mean, folks, for people listening, it's on a trail.

03:00:28.000 This thing is 15 feet in front of him, right?

03:00:30.000 Right in front of me.

03:00:32.000 Oh, yeah.

03:00:33.000 That's 15 feet in front of him, right?

03:00:34.000 I mean, maybe 20?

03:00:36.000 At least he has his helmet on.

03:00:38.000 Whatever.

03:00:38.000 That thing's biting your face off.

03:00:42.000 This is a nice time to own a gun.

03:00:45.000 Right here is nice.

03:00:46.000 You go...

03:00:47.000 Oh, hey, man.

03:00:48.000 Hey, man.

03:00:48.000 Check this out.

03:00:49.000 Boom! 1.00

03:00:51.000 Fuck you! 1.00

03:00:52.000 I don't know what I would've done if I was- If you have a gun, you shoot at the ground. 1.00

03:00:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:00:55.000 You just go, BITCH! Oh, he's moving towards it. 1.00

03:00:59.000 It's cute, though.

03:01:01.000 I'm not afraid of you.

03:01:02.000 I might- The thing's backing up. 1.00

03:01:03.000 I might, BITCH! WHAT THE MUTTER ARE YOU DOING AROUND HERE?! I might go crazy and see if I could scare him off here. 1.00

03:01:07.000 Yeah, that's probably what I would be doing.

03:01:09.000 I'd be screaming at it more. 0.99

03:01:10.000 You'd be dead. 0.99

03:01:11.000 Most likely, let's be honest. 0.90

03:01:12.000 You'd be wheezing.

03:01:13.000 Delicious.

03:01:14.000 If you lit a cigarette up, maybe he'd run away.

03:01:16.000 Yeah.

03:01:16.000 Dude, I would use fire.

03:01:18.000 Cigarette smoking.

03:01:19.000 I would probably do that.

03:01:20.000 I'd probably, like, if I had my lighter, I'd light my shirt on fire or something like that.

03:01:23.000 There was an old man in Canada just a couple of years ago who killed one with a knife.

03:01:27.000 He got attacked by a mountain lion.

03:01:29.000 He was 60 years old.

03:01:29.000 He's fighting it off and cut its neck.

03:01:35.000 Fighting to the death with a monster. 0.99

03:01:38.000 Jumps at him, claws ahold of him. 0.99

03:01:42.000 I think mountain lions, just for the record, I think mountain lions are fucking awesome. 0.95

03:01:46.000 I'm a big fan of mountain lions.

03:01:48.000 There's a lot of the people that are animal rights activists that might hear this and say, what about the person?

03:01:53.000 The person shouldn't be there.

03:01:55.000 That's the lion's home.

03:01:57.000 The person's in the lion's home.

03:02:00.000 Let's be honest, folks.

03:02:02.000 There's people that are beautiful.

03:02:04.000 They produce poetry.

03:02:05.000 They write songs.

03:02:07.000 They make movies.

03:02:08.000 They love you.

03:02:09.000 They take you out to dinner.

03:02:11.000 They're your friend.

03:02:11.000 You can count on them.

03:02:12.000 They offer emotional support. 1.00

03:02:14.000 Mountain Lions don't give you any of that shit. 1.00

03:02:16.000 So when it comes to... 0.99

03:02:18.000 I don't know why I said poetry.

03:02:19.000 I agree with everything I said up to poetry.

03:02:21.000 But it comes to who do I like more?

03:02:23.000 Mountain Lion or that guy on a bike?

03:02:25.000 I don't even know that guy on a bike.

03:02:26.000 I love him.

03:02:27.000 Give him a hug. 1.00

03:02:28.000 I'd shoot that fucking thing if I was nearby. 1.00

03:02:30.000 Creepy-ass predator cat. 1.00

03:02:32.000 It would be cool to have a full simulation. 0.99

03:02:35.000 Like, you could be like, alright, I want to see what happens if I went up to it as if it was a normal cat.

03:02:38.000 Like, hickity-hickity.

03:02:40.000 Kind of like grizzly man style.

03:02:42.000 You'd just see a red screen.

03:02:44.000 Yeah, but if you could try everything.

03:02:47.000 Like, alright, now I'm ready to try throwing my shoe.

03:02:48.000 It'd be like a lawnmower hit your face.

03:02:52.000 Just spray all over the screen.

03:02:55.000 I just wonder if there was that kind of calming approach or anything.

03:03:01.000 No.

03:03:02.000 What are you, the grizzly man?

03:03:05.000 Hey Mr. Chocolate.

03:03:06.000 Hey Mr. Chocolate.

03:03:08.000 It's gonna be okay.

03:03:10.000 Hey Mr. Chocolate. 0.99

03:03:12.000 I remember there's a scene in the Grizzly Man where the bear took a shit. 1.00

03:03:15.000 And he's like, this came out of her butt. 1.00

03:03:17.000 This came out of her butt. 1.00

03:03:18.000 It's so warm. 0.99

03:03:20.000 I'm touching.

03:03:21.000 I feel like I'm touching inside of her. 1.00

03:03:23.000 It came out of her butt. 1.00

03:03:24.000 So he had his hands on bear shit. 1.00

03:03:26.000 I wish there could be a sequel to that movie so bad. 1.00

03:03:28.000 Like Bob Ross could play it.

03:03:30.000 Here's the thing.

03:03:30.000 There wasn't a sequel, but that guy made, I think...

03:03:35.000 More than a hundred hours of footage.

03:03:38.000 He had an entire show that they did on one of the reality TV channels where it was a Grizzly Man show where it was like they edited a lot of his lost footage and it was really fascinating.

03:03:51.000 Because as misguided as this guy was, he was definitely misguided.

03:03:55.000 And he definitely had some issues, for sure.

03:03:57.000 He really did love bears, and he was really passionate about bears, and he was passionate about describing various aspects of their behavior, and it was really interesting. 0.92

03:04:07.000 And he got some fucking badass footage, man. 0.70

03:04:10.000 He got some incredible footage, like really close-up footage of bears fighting. 0.99

03:04:14.000 He got footage of bears coming right up to him and literally sniffing his hand and running away.

03:04:19.000 He got footage of wild foxes becoming his friend, like hanging around his camp and he would feed them and hang out with them.

03:04:25.000 They'd steal his hat.

03:04:26.000 He got amazing footage.

03:04:28.000 So if you look at the guy as just like a wildlife photographer, He's like one of the greatest of all time, in a way.

03:04:36.000 Because what he did was something that nobody was willing to do. 0.99

03:04:40.000 Go full screen on this motherfucker. 0.99

03:04:42.000 I can't put this on YouTube, by the way. 0.99

03:04:44.000 Right, of course, of course, of course, of course.

03:04:46.000 This is, if you haven't seen this, this is two bears.

03:04:49.000 I think we did commentary on this during Ice House Chronicles, because I was talking about his jiu-jitsu.

03:04:53.000 Yeah, that's right.

03:04:54.000 I was like, he's got very good jiu-jitsu.

03:04:55.000 Like, the way the big bear on top is passing.

03:04:57.000 The guy on the bottom is trying to work the guard.

03:04:59.000 He's putting feet on the hips.

03:05:01.000 But the big bear is using pressure. 0.98

03:05:03.000 He's like an old-school, like, Salo Hiberro, like, fucking rock-solid jiu-jitsu. 0.98

03:05:10.000 Like, this is what I'm looking at here. 0.99

03:05:12.000 I'm pooping. 1.00

03:05:13.000 Oh, yeah, they shit. 1.00

03:05:14.000 They shit while they're going to war. 1.00

03:05:16.000 But this is very much like jiu-jitsu in a lot of ways, man. 1.00

03:05:20.000 When I'm watching this, this is like...

03:05:25.000 Rafael Lovato.

03:05:26.000 This is like that kind of jujitsu, like super strong, real technical pressure, power. 1.00

03:05:32.000 They get on top of you and they put the fucking clamp down on you and you're dead. 0.98

03:05:36.000 Like this bear is kind of doing that, but the bottom bear got up. 0.99

03:05:39.000 Look at this.

03:05:39.000 He's game.

03:05:40.000 He's not as big, but he's game.

03:05:44.000 They go to war.

03:05:45.000 The guy on the left is considerably smaller.

03:05:46.000 See how much smaller he is?

03:05:48.000 The one on the right is literally 25% larger.

03:05:52.000 But the guy on the bottom is not giving up.

03:05:54.000 It's like, Marcelo Garcia, Rico Rodriguez. 1.00

03:05:56.000 You motherfuckers don't even know. 1.00

03:05:59.000 You see that video of a wrestler versus a bodybuilder? 1.00

03:06:02.000 It's the same kind of thing where the bodybuilder is super huge.

03:06:06.000 A wrestler versus a bodybuilder?

03:06:07.000 There's a jiu-jitsu one that's Pedro Sauer versus a bodybuilder.

03:06:10.000 Oh, maybe that's it?

03:06:11.000 Well, Pedro Sauer, I think...

03:06:13.000 Look up this.

03:06:14.000 Pedro Sauer, S-A-U-E-R, versus...

03:06:20.000 Bodybuilder.

03:06:20.000 And I think the dude was like, I want to say he was like 240 pounds and Pedro Sauer was like 150. Yeah.

03:06:25.000 And he got in this like street fight with this guy in a gym. 0.77

03:06:28.000 And this is back in the day when like the Gracie challenges were going on and shit like that. 0.84

03:06:33.000 This is the guy. 1.00

03:06:34.000 He's fucking jacked. 1.00

03:06:36.000 And Pedro Sauer, I believe is Hicks and Gracie lineage. 0.99

03:06:40.000 I apologize if I'm wrong.

03:06:41.000 But either way, he's a super respected...

03:06:44.000 I know he's Gracie.

03:06:45.000 He's got a Gracie Gi on.

03:06:46.000 Super respected jiu-jitsu instructor and competitor.

03:06:49.000 So he's got this giant bodybuilder in front of him, and he's front leg side kicking him in the thigh.

03:06:54.000 This is so old school.

03:06:55.000 I wish I knew what year this was.

03:06:57.000 But he keeps hitting him with this front leg side kicking him in the thigh.

03:06:59.000 He's way smaller than this guy.

03:07:01.000 And the bodybuilder has yet to move.

03:07:03.000 Now he tries to make his move, and he throws a punch.

03:07:06.000 But it ain't working.

03:07:07.000 And Pedro Sauer starts jacking him with punches, and so the guy takes him down.

03:07:10.000 So now when the guy takes him down, Pedro Sauer immediately sweeps him, mounts on him, and the dude rolled him over at least one time, but Pedro didn't really take any damage.

03:07:20.000 You see how good a real, legit Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner Is at protecting himself, and then especially the fact that he's wearing a gi, which is even better.

03:07:30.000 Because he can really, even though the other guy is bare-chested, if Pedro's wearing a gi, he can control the guy because it's all, it's grippy. 0.97

03:07:38.000 You know, the gi allows you to hold on to a big fucking sweaty gorilla like this guy. 0.93

03:07:42.000 So he eventually catches homeboy in an armbar. 0.95

03:07:45.000 This is not the same video I saw, but it's the same pretty much idea.

03:07:49.000 I want to say this is like 95 or something like that.

03:07:52.000 So he's holding on to the dude.

03:07:54.000 What does it say?

03:07:56.000 What does it say?

03:07:57.000 That guy was 92, Mr. Utah, so I thought it was a 92. Well, Pedro Sauer, I think he's in Utah.

03:08:04.000 I think he's a Salt Lake City guy.

03:08:06.000 I'm pretty sure.

03:08:07.000 I might be wrong.

03:08:08.000 But either way, Pedro Sauer is super respected.

03:08:11.000 Very high-level jiu-jitsu instructor.

03:08:14.000 A lot of blood here, man.

03:08:16.000 Who's got the blood?

03:08:17.000 Look at that. 1.00

03:08:18.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

03:08:18.000 Armbar, son. 1.00

03:08:20.000 I think he made that dude's fucking nose explode before he armbarred him. 0.99

03:08:27.000 Is that guy's face a bloody mess? 1.00

03:08:31.000 Yeah.

03:08:32.000 Yeah, there it is.

03:08:33.000 That's the blood. 0.99

03:08:34.000 Yeah, he punched him in the nose and choked the shit out of him and then took his arm. 0.99

03:08:38.000 Old school son! 0.99

03:08:40.000 But the difference in strength there and size is pretty substantial.

03:08:44.000 What did you see?

03:08:45.000 Mine was one of those Facebook videos like, guess who wins when you're a pro wrestler versus a bodybuilder?

03:08:52.000 And the bodybuilder was just this huge monster bodybuilder and the wrestler just had no problem just throwing him on the ground constantly.

03:08:59.000 It was just wrestling.

03:09:00.000 It wasn't MMA. Was it a pro wrestler?

03:09:02.000 You said pro wrestler?

03:09:03.000 Was it just like a guy?

03:09:04.000 No, like a pro wrestler.

03:09:05.000 Not a pro wrestler, like a professional wrestler.

03:09:09.000 Oh, like someone who's an expert.

03:09:10.000 Expert, yeah.

03:09:11.000 Expert, yeah.

03:09:13.000 Pro wrestlers used to be real wrestlers.

03:09:15.000 Not that they're not now.

03:09:16.000 Now they're more real entertainers, but they can wrestle. 0.94

03:09:19.000 Obviously Brock Lesnar can wrestle.

03:09:20.000 But the original days of pro wrestling, it wasn't fake. 0.94

03:09:24.000 It is the weirdest thing that is the only sport that's a sport in the fucking Olympics, but in the professional world, it's fake. 0.92

03:09:34.000 And when I say fake, I don't mean it disrespectfully. 0.98

03:09:36.000 I know I joked around about pro wrestling and a lot of pro wrestling fans get super butt hurt.

03:09:41.000 Listen, I absolutely respect the athletes and their abilities and what they're doing. 0.99

03:09:46.000 I like to fuck with Tony Hinchcliffe, folks. 0.99

03:09:49.000 Okay? 1.00

03:09:49.000 It's fun. 1.00

03:09:50.000 He loves wrestling a little too much.

03:09:52.000 And if you got burned along with that, I'm so sorry.

03:09:55.000 But my honest feelings about pro wrestling is it disturbs me.

03:10:00.000 That guys who are so good and women who are so good at wrestling don't have a professional venue for it where wrestling is so exciting on an amateur level.

03:10:10.000 Whereas tennis players have massive opportunities.

03:10:14.000 Everybody else has massive opportunities.

03:10:16.000 I mean, I guess swimming doesn't.

03:10:17.000 But a lot of big time sports have these huge opportunities.

03:10:21.000 But what swimming doesn't have is amateur swimming and then fake swimming.

03:10:26.000 Where they're rolling out like, he's got jello!

03:10:28.000 He got the Jell-O, ladies and gentlemen.

03:10:30.000 Michael Phelps is doing the world record in Jell-O! I like this.

03:10:34.000 We'd have Mauro Ranello, and he would have Elton John sunglasses on and a fucking Chuck Liddell mohawk, and he'd be doing the pro wrestling version of swimming. 0.97

03:10:44.000 We're going to go pro swimming. 0.98

03:10:45.000 Yeah, Nick fucking, what's his name, the guy who runs pro wrestling? 0.99

03:10:50.000 Vince McMahon. 1.00

03:10:51.000 Vince McMahon, he puts a fucking bandana on his neck, and he has one of those Mark Spitz mustaches. 1.00

03:10:56.000 This is his new look. 1.00

03:10:57.000 And he just talks about pro swimming.

03:11:00.000 We're taking pro swimming the same place we took pro wrestling! 1.00

03:11:05.000 Michael Phelps is like, fuck, man. 1.00

03:11:07.000 You know, I love Wheaties as much as the next guy, but I'm tired. 1.00

03:11:10.000 I'm tired of just living off sponsors.

03:11:12.000 I gotta watch what I do.

03:11:13.000 I can't smoke weed. 1.00

03:11:14.000 This is bullshit. 1.00

03:11:15.000 Why don't I have a professional venue? 1.00

03:11:16.000 Hey, man, if fucking golf is in the Olympics and golfers make millions of dollars, everybody got damn swims. 1.00

03:11:22.000 You all know how to swim. 1.00

03:11:23.000 Didn't you race your cousin when you were a kid?

03:11:24.000 We all know how to swim, right?

03:11:26.000 Okay, let's make pro swimming.

03:11:27.000 Let's do this.

03:11:28.000 It gets together.

03:11:29.000 With Vince McMahon, they have pro swimming.

03:11:32.000 That's a good idea.

03:11:32.000 Like there's hoops that they have to swim through.

03:11:34.000 You guys don't even care.

03:11:35.000 I like it.

03:11:36.000 ESPN launches new WWE vertical.

03:11:39.000 What?

03:11:40.000 What does that mean?

03:11:40.000 What's a vertical?

03:11:43.000 They're going to start covering WWE. Are you hard right now?

03:11:46.000 No, I'm just like...

03:11:47.000 You're chubby?

03:11:47.000 You woke?

03:11:48.000 Why would a legitimate sports thing be starting to do that then?

03:11:51.000 Because then we need money.

03:11:52.000 I know, it's entertainment, but like...

03:11:54.000 Well, apparently, these shows are doing not so good because of the internet.

03:12:00.000 Because of the different...

03:12:02.000 Like if you're talking about like where you get your news and your entertainment and your coverage of different sports, a lot of people are turning to the internet.

03:12:11.000 Say if you had a studio, okay?

03:12:13.000 And you had a studio in Hollywood and you said, hey, you know what?

03:12:16.000 I enjoy the UFC coverage.

03:12:18.000 I enjoy Bellator's coverage.

03:12:21.000 I enjoy all these different mixed martial arts, but I want to do my own news show and I'm just gonna put it on YouTube and I'm gonna hire Dean Thomas.

03:12:30.000 It's essentially what Dana White's done with that Looking for a Fight show. 1.00

03:12:33.000 What if someone comes along and says, I'm going to do that with Cowboy Cerrone, some fun, colorful characters, and I'm going to have them talk about fights every week.

03:12:43.000 Who's going to watch the ESPN show?

03:12:45.000 If you can watch Brian Stan, Dominic Cerrone, or Donald Cerrone, and Dominic Cruz talk about fights. 0.96

03:12:53.000 Who the fuck is going to watch anything else? 0.94

03:12:55.000 I want to hear what they have to say. 0.99

03:12:57.000 I want to hear what Donald has to say about Conor McGregor.

03:12:59.000 I want to hear what Dominic Cruz has to say about Cody Garbrandt.

03:13:02.000 I want to hear what these super influential fighters Who are like some of the most interesting characters in the world, I have to say.

03:13:12.000 You're not going to be able to recreate that with some talking head that used to cover women's volleyball and now he's covering MMA. And you know, last night, blah blah blah, Amanda Nunes became the fourth... 0.74

03:13:23.000 You know, he doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

03:13:27.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

03:13:28.000 He doesn't care. 0.99

03:13:29.000 You would watch the internet show, right?

03:13:32.000 So if the internet show was available on your TV... What's ESPN going to do?

03:13:37.000 That's coming, man.

03:13:38.000 That's coming. 1.00

03:13:39.000 Bill Burr is going to have a fucking football show on ESPN. And everybody better shut their mouth. 1.00

03:13:43.000 Because if Bill Burr has any...

03:13:45.000 If he does what he does on his podcast...

03:13:47.000 I don't even follow the NFL. But when he starts making fun of people in the NFL and talking about fans and stuff on his podcast, it's hilarious.

03:13:56.000 If someone wises up and gives Bill Burr some sort of a platform, a gigantic platform reviewing football...

03:14:04.000 Oh my god.

03:14:05.000 Everybody else is done.

03:14:06.000 They're all done. 1.00

03:14:08.000 Because he knows his shit, too. 1.00

03:14:10.000 Like, Bill Burr understands football. 1.00

03:14:12.000 Like, when I listen to him, I'm like, oh, this guy's not just a comedian talking shit about stuff. 0.98

03:14:17.000 He actually understands football. 0.97

03:14:19.000 I can listen to him talk about anything.

03:14:21.000 Love that dude.

03:14:22.000 He's an American treasure. 1.00

03:14:23.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

03:14:25.000 So it's more like the delivery method has outpaced... 1.00

03:14:29.000 Yes.

03:14:30.000 The content, I guess?

03:14:32.000 It's eliminated the necessity of a large studio.

03:14:36.000 A friend of mine was going to do something on the internet recently, and he's like, this group wants to pay me money to be associated with this.

03:14:44.000 And I go, okay, what are you going to do it on?

03:14:46.000 And he goes, I'm going to do it on YouTube.

03:14:48.000 And I'm like, okay, why would you want someone coming along and being a part of that?

03:14:54.000 When you can just do it yourself.

03:14:56.000 I'm like, if you get in bed With this person, or this group, this media conglomerate.

03:15:01.000 You get to bed this media conglomerate with your project that you're trying to launch online.

03:15:05.000 You're going to be relieved of some of the financial burden, but in this case, I'm talking to a guy who's not hurting for money.

03:15:12.000 I'm like, you're not talking about a substantial investment.

03:15:14.000 What do you need?

03:15:15.000 You need a camera?

03:15:16.000 You need an employee?

03:15:17.000 You need an upload place?

03:15:20.000 Something like YouTube is essentially free.

03:15:23.000 You just need a good internet connection, good computers.

03:15:25.000 The price of entry is not exorbitant in relationship to the potential.

03:15:32.000 But if you get involved with some sort of a media conglomerate, these guys, all these people are very smart.

03:15:38.000 All these people that are involved in all these different networks, they have existed for the longest time.

03:15:43.000 They are the old vampire versions of Hollywood.

03:15:46.000 They've existed forever.

03:15:47.000 And they've grown up in this system.

03:15:49.000 And some of them have come along in different transitionary phases of the system.

03:15:53.000 But they realize right now the system is in jeopardy.

03:15:55.000 It's in a very strange place.

03:15:58.000 Because the internet is slowly becoming more and more prevalent in people's lives, it's consuming more and more of people's entertainment time, and it's becoming more powerful in its abilities.

03:16:08.000 The ability that someone has today is what you could create and edit on a computer.

03:16:13.000 It's literally getting to the point where I can make a movie with you and you don't even have to be in it. 0.98

03:16:18.000 I can just decide that I'm going to make fucking Slumber Party 10 with Jamie Vernon and Jamie Vernon shows up at the door with a fucking pizza delivery outfit on and 15 skanky hoes just dive on its pecker and we make a porn. 1.00

03:16:31.000 I mean, that's 100% possible. 0.99

03:16:33.000 That's only like 10 years away from now, man.

03:16:36.000 And you're going to be able to stream things online. 0.99

03:16:39.000 You're going to be able to create a film with a regular laptop and a fucking phone. 1.00

03:16:45.000 And it's going to look like a goddamn movie. 1.00

03:16:47.000 People have probably already done it. 0.99

03:16:49.000 Snapchat filters is a good example. 0.99

03:16:51.000 If you can do it right now, I can make a movie with Jamie on gay porn. 0.99

03:16:54.000 Exactly! 0.98

03:16:55.000 I read an article about what you're talking about, really.

03:16:57.000 They use the example of the new Pee Wee Herman movie, that he looks a little too young for what he should be throughout the movie, but the article describes how there's this thing called what they call CGI facelifts.

03:17:07.000 There's multiple million-dollar actors and actresses that use teams of people to keep them younger-looking in movies, like what they did for Benjamin Button.

03:17:16.000 They made Brad Pitt stay younger-looking.

03:17:18.000 He was a strapping 22-year-old dude when he was really 45. That's just a filter.

03:17:23.000 You can tell the detail level is just fogged out.

03:17:26.000 As a still frame, it's a filter, but he looks like that throughout the whole movie.

03:17:29.000 They have that for video, also, though.

03:17:31.000 Right, but I think what he's saying is that this is a still frame of the video.

03:17:35.000 Yeah.

03:17:36.000 Is that what you're saying?

03:17:38.000 No, no, no.

03:17:38.000 I was saying they're doing it through movies.

03:17:42.000 Right, but this is the whole movie.

03:17:43.000 It's like this, right?

03:17:44.000 Yeah, it looks like this.

03:17:45.000 Is this an actual still frame?

03:17:46.000 As far as I know, yeah.

03:17:47.000 I mean, even Snapchat has that one filter that's called the pretty filter or beautiful filter.

03:17:51.000 It just pretty much does the same thing.

03:17:53.000 It kind of softens your face and gets rid of the detail.

03:17:56.000 Well, have you seen the real-life filters that they're using?

03:17:59.000 They have this new thing that they've invented where it's a film that they put on your skin and it radically reduces wrinkles.

03:18:06.000 Oh, wow.

03:18:07.000 Like it's an invisible film.

03:18:08.000 It lasts 24 hours.

03:18:10.000 Oh, cool.

03:18:10.000 You put it on your skin and it's waterproof and it radically reduces wrinkles.

03:18:15.000 Have you seen this?

03:18:15.000 No, I haven't seen it.

03:18:16.000 That's cool. 0.99

03:18:17.000 Dude, it's fucking weird. 0.96

03:18:18.000 I can't even think about it that way. 1.00

03:18:19.000 You're gonna bang some old ladies, dude. 1.00

03:18:21.000 Oh, God. 0.99

03:18:22.000 100%.

03:18:22.000 For you?

03:18:23.000 I'm good.

03:18:23.000 You drink a lot.

03:18:24.000 I'm good with my 22-year-old.

03:18:25.000 Do you remember that time in Austin?

03:18:27.000 Which one?

03:18:28.000 Do you remember the time where a lady sat next to you and started kissing you and you were hammered and you thought it was the wrong lady?

03:18:35.000 Do you remember that?

03:18:36.000 Yeah, we've talked about that before, the old lady.

03:18:39.000 This old lady got deep into Brian's face and his eyes were closed the whole time. 1.00

03:18:45.000 Brian had a lovely young lady with him.

03:18:47.000 By the way, this is a long, long time ago.

03:18:50.000 Any parties currently invested in Mr. Brian Redband need not worry.

03:18:54.000 Many, many, many, many, many, many moons ago.

03:18:56.000 And this lovely young lady took off, and this woman... 0.99

03:19:04.000 Parked her broomstick and sat down next to Brian.

03:19:07.000 Oh, God.

03:19:08.000 Like 70 years old.

03:19:10.000 No teeth. 0.99

03:19:11.000 No bullshit. 1.00

03:19:12.000 At least 60. Yeah. 0.98

03:19:13.000 No bullshit. 0.98

03:19:14.000 At least 60. And she just attacked me. 1.00

03:19:17.000 Out of nowhere.

03:19:18.000 Plopped down next to you.

03:19:19.000 Put her hand on your chest. 1.00

03:19:21.000 You smiled.

03:19:22.000 Looked over with your eyes closed.

03:19:24.000 And she dove in for the kiss.

03:19:26.000 And you thought you were kissing the other girl.

03:19:28.000 And then you realized in the middle.

03:19:30.000 It was like, oh, oh.

03:19:32.000 It's like there's a horror movie where that happens.

03:19:52.000 The Shining!

03:19:56.000 It's The Shining.

03:19:57.000 Remember?

03:19:58.000 Jack Nicholson goes into one of those mysterious rooms and he starts making out with this woman and her skin starts falling off.

03:20:03.000 That's exactly what it is.

03:20:04.000 That's exactly what it is.

03:20:05.000 Oh my god.

03:20:06.000 Find that scene.

03:20:07.000 Let's end this podcast.

03:20:08.000 And you recorded the whole thing on video and you thought you were doing me a favor by deleting it.

03:20:13.000 I would love to have seen that.

03:20:14.000 I know. 1.00

03:20:15.000 I fucked up. 0.99

03:20:15.000 I was trying to protect you, brother. 0.99

03:20:17.000 It was dark.

03:20:18.000 It was dark.

03:20:19.000 I don't even think she had teeth. 1.00

03:20:20.000 She was a monster. 0.98

03:20:21.000 She was right out of the swamps. 0.99

03:20:23.000 She came out of swamps.

03:20:25.000 You can't show it?

03:20:26.000 Well, for us, can we see it?

03:20:28.000 Where nobody else sees it?

03:20:29.000 Put it on, make sure that nobody sees it.

03:20:31.000 We'll just show you.

03:20:32.000 God, she's so hot. 1.00

03:20:33.000 Nobody can see it, right?

03:20:34.000 Okay.

03:20:35.000 Yeah, so she's super, super hot in that 1970s, I don't know how to work out hot, which is great for like eight years. 1.00

03:20:42.000 Nice aerial look.

03:20:42.000 Girls have that hot for eight years.

03:20:45.000 Right around 26, it starts to go, hey, we're not really making the same amount of hormones anymore and you no longer play soccer.

03:20:53.000 So, what's going on with this body?

03:20:55.000 Look at that bush.

03:20:56.000 Full bush.

03:20:57.000 Full bush.

03:20:59.000 Which, by the way, I don't mind.

03:21:01.000 I don't mind.

03:21:02.000 Doesn't bother me.

03:21:03.000 At all.

03:21:04.000 Look at this.

03:21:04.000 Jack Nicholson doesn't know what to do.

03:21:06.000 She's touching him. 1.00

03:21:07.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

03:21:08.000 It's about to get faking. 0.99

03:21:11.000 I don't remember this scene and I definitely don't remember the scene being this long.

03:21:15.000 I remember it being like real short.

03:21:17.000 I feel like I watched this recently and don't remember the scene in the movie.

03:21:21.000 I remember it happened for sure, which is why I brought it up, but I don't remember it.

03:21:24.000 Like I'm looking at it.

03:21:25.000 This all seems super new to me.

03:21:28.000 So he starts making out with her.

03:21:29.000 She's got a flat house. 1.00

03:21:30.000 She needs to do squats. 1.00

03:21:32.000 Go to the gym, bitch. 1.00

03:21:34.000 Oh, so he's kissing her? 1.00

03:21:35.000 And in the middle of kissing her, he's like, oh, he's having such a good time.

03:21:38.000 You can see that she looks a little bony.

03:21:40.000 Yeah, something's not right.

03:21:41.000 Something's wrong.

03:21:42.000 And he opens his eyes.

03:21:43.000 He opens his eyes.

03:21:44.000 And he opens his eyes and he realizes she's an old lady and his eyes go wide open.

03:21:49.000 He can't even enjoy it.

03:21:50.000 He's a hater.

03:21:52.000 He sees her in the mirror.

03:21:54.000 Her back in the mirror is covered with welts and his little kid starts to seizure him.

03:21:58.000 Now she's in the tub. 1.00

03:22:00.000 And he's backing up.

03:22:02.000 She's decaying.

03:22:03.000 And she's laughing and coming towards him. 0.99

03:22:05.000 Holy shit, this is a good movie. 0.99

03:22:06.000 It's like the old lady from Kingpin. 1.00

03:22:08.000 See, here's my point. 1.00

03:22:09.000 Where the fuck are these movies, man? 0.99

03:22:11.000 This is my kind of movie. 0.99

03:22:12.000 I like horror movies.

03:22:14.000 I'm a huge fan.

03:22:15.000 I like monster movies.

03:22:17.000 I like horror movies.

03:22:18.000 It doesn't have to be real.

03:22:19.000 I know it's not real.

03:22:20.000 I haven't seen them, but I heard that movie Green Room was supposed to be pretty interesting.

03:22:24.000 Ooh, what's that?

03:22:25.000 There's a new one called Where This Blind Man Can't See that looks pretty intense, too.

03:22:29.000 I forget what it's called. 0.98

03:22:30.000 Don't Talk or Don't Whisper or some shit. 0.94

03:22:32.000 How could that be as good as this? 0.98

03:22:33.000 The Green Room, the story of Louis Anderson.

03:22:35.000 Oh, how dare you? 0.97

03:22:39.000 Rated R for gay. 0.93

03:22:43.000 Louis Anderson's a wonderful gentleman.

03:22:45.000 I love him.

03:22:45.000 I think he's a hilarious comedian.

03:22:51.000 Let's sign this, bitch. 1.00

03:22:52.000 Let's bring it home. 0.99

03:22:53.000 Thank you, everybody, for the happy birthday wishes. 0.80

03:22:56.000 Appreciate the fuck out of it.

03:22:58.000 Oh, while this is ending, we haven't ended it yet.

03:23:01.000 Hold on.

03:23:01.000 Before we end it, don't end it.

03:23:03.000 I'm going to get...

03:23:04.000 I've been doing this thing on Instagram.

03:23:08.000 You know, Instagram has that...

03:23:10.000 Yeah, the stories thing.

03:23:11.000 So I've been doing the Instagram story.

03:23:13.000 So if you listen to the podcast and you're like, what's going on with your Instagram story, bro? 1.00

03:23:19.000 I'll show you what's going on with my Instagram story, motherfucker! 1.00

03:23:23.000 Oh shit, here a minute. 1.00

03:23:25.000 Switch around. 1.00

03:23:26.000 Whoops.

03:23:27.000 That's the flash.

03:23:28.000 I don't want the flash.

03:23:35.000 This is my life at 49!

03:23:44.000 One more. 1.00

03:23:49.000 Oh, God damn it. 0.99

03:23:51.000 You just took a picture of my feet. 1.00

03:23:53.000 I'm trying to get this light off.

03:23:55.000 How do I get this light off?

03:23:56.000 Hit the picture of the lightning bolts.

03:23:58.000 I know.

03:23:58.000 I just want to make sure it's...

03:23:59.000 Oh, here it goes.

03:24:01.000 Ladies and gentlemen, just had a wonderful podcast with Brian Redband and Young Jamie.

03:24:08.000 We'll see you soon.

03:24:09.000 All right.

03:24:10.000 Bye-bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 11, 2016

Joe Rogan Experience #833 - Brian Redban

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript