The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #859 - Brian Redban

00:00:05.000 And we're live!

00:00:08.000 Are you writing notes?

00:00:09.000 Yes.

00:00:10.000 What are you writing notes about?

00:00:11.000 Just things that would be cool if we talk about.

00:00:15.000 What are you, organized? 0.99

00:00:17.000 The fuck's going on, man? 1.00

00:00:18.000 I always do that. 0.99

00:00:19.000 I just know you don't like me looking at my computer, so I'm trying to go analog.

00:00:23.000 Yeah, I think both of us would be better off in these things if we just... 0.98

00:00:27.000 It's so easy to just start reading computers, especially when you're reading shit that's on the internet. 0.68

00:00:32.000 Just to get one person's talking, just start thinking about the next thing you're going to read about instead of just talking. 0.97

00:00:39.000 There's just too much.

00:00:41.000 There's too much coming at us.

00:00:42.000 I like to obsessively fact check, though, and make sure I'm saying the right thing so you won't get trumped later.

00:00:50.000 Yeah, you have to with this stuff.

00:00:54.000 Don't you think it's harder to form an opinion now than it's ever been before?

00:00:58.000 Oh, yeah.

00:00:59.000 It's insane.

00:01:00.000 I mean, just looking back at old videos, I'm like, oh, that's a different day.

00:01:04.000 I should probably delete this now.

00:01:11.000 The amount of data that you take in today, as opposed to just 20 years ago.

00:01:18.000 When I see something, anything that's happened, and I read a story about something, I've got to throw it through like 10 filters.

00:01:25.000 I'm kind of like, is this real? 0.99

00:01:26.000 Is this bullshit? 1.00

00:01:27.000 Who's making this? 1.00

00:01:28.000 What is this?

00:01:29.000 And then you have to just...

00:01:31.000 You know, like every time someone sends you some...

00:01:32.000 What article is it on?

00:01:33.000 That's what I always do with Eddie Bravo. 1.00

00:01:35.000 Eddie Bravo hit me up with some crazy shit. 1.00

00:01:37.000 I go, okay. 0.99

00:01:38.000 Before you get too excited, what website was this?

00:01:42.000 World Truther Organization West. 0.99

00:01:45.000 You know, like there's some nutty fucking articles that are written that aren't real. 0.99

00:01:49.000 It's hard to figure out what the fuck is really going on with some things. 0.98

00:01:53.000 Yeah, and they're so tricky now, too. 0.97

00:01:54.000 It'll be like NBCnews.com.

00:01:59.000 There's like two.coms. 0.99

00:02:02.000 There's fucking weird ones, man. 0.99

00:02:05.000 I saw one the other day that I think was a scam. 0.99

00:02:10.000 It was for some fucking brain pill, and it led you to some NBC-looking website, and I was like, what is this? 0.99

00:02:18.000 That's what I'm talking about. 0.99

00:02:18.000 Yeah, I followed this rabbit hole of, okay, what happens when you click that? 0.99

00:02:22.000 Okay, what's going on over here?

00:02:24.000 Yeah, it's like a fake CNN, where it has an article about this brain pill, and you're reading it as if CNN wrote this article.

00:02:34.000 There's a lot of those brain pill things, too.

00:02:36.000 In the Soylent, you know the Soylent?

00:02:38.000 It's like that...

00:02:40.000 Yeah, it's like a full meal.

00:02:42.000 Yeah, and they released these bars the other day, or recently.

00:02:45.000 And all these people are going to the hospital, and they sent it to the lab trying to figure out what it is.

00:02:51.000 Is this a fact-check thing?

00:02:52.000 Yeah, no, no, this is true.

00:02:54.000 And so they just recalled all these protein bars, like the whole thing.

00:02:58.000 What?

00:02:59.000 And it's like...

00:03:01.000 This one guy couldn't stop throwing up.

00:03:03.000 He had to go to the ER. Just from these pills.

00:03:06.000 Or these food bars.

00:03:08.000 Oh my god. 1.00

00:03:09.000 What's in these fucking things? 1.00

00:03:10.000 I don't know, but the old Soylent is People thing. 0.99

00:03:13.000 You'd think they would change their name. 0.98

00:03:15.000 That's a fucking giant horror line in a science fiction movie. 0.99

00:03:20.000 I know. 1.00

00:03:21.000 Soylent Green is People!

00:03:23.000 Yeah.

00:03:24.000 That's what they said, right?

00:03:25.000 Wasn't that what the line was in the movie?

00:03:27.000 Yeah.

00:03:28.000 Speaking of movies, but not really.

00:03:29.000 This is not happening.

00:03:31.000 Ari Shaffir's show premieres tonight.

00:03:34.000 Midnight, ladies and gentlemen. 0.98

00:03:37.000 I know he's got a lot of funny fucking people on this season. 0.97

00:03:40.000 It's a great show if you haven't seen it before. 0.95

00:03:42.000 It's really one of the best shows on television because it's really funny people like Joey Diaz.

00:03:49.000 He's had Stan Hope on.

00:03:51.000 I know Rollins is on this season.

00:03:52.000 Henry Rollins.

00:03:53.000 Notice I said Rollins.

00:03:55.000 It's like when people used to pretend they knew Eddie Murphy.

00:03:59.000 They just call him Eddie.

00:03:59.000 You know, me and Eddie.

00:04:00.000 We're tight.

00:04:01.000 We're just tight. 0.97

00:04:02.000 Me and Eddie, you know, just fucking hanging out together. 0.78

00:04:04.000 You don't want to say his last name. 0.85

00:04:06.000 Like, Eddie who?

00:04:06.000 Murphy, bro.

00:04:08.000 Murphy.

00:04:08.000 I'm trying to think.

00:04:09.000 Is there anyone that you...

00:04:10.000 Rollins.

00:04:10.000 I mean, if you really were hanging out with him, like sharing a pizza, would you call him by his last name?

00:04:17.000 Rollins?

00:04:17.000 No, I definitely would not.

00:04:19.000 That would be so rude.

00:04:20.000 Hey, Rollins.

00:04:20.000 I'd be like, ew.

00:04:21.000 What?

00:04:23.000 If someone's like, hey Rogan, I'd be like, aw man.

00:04:26.000 But actually, no, that's not bad.

00:04:29.000 It depends on the length of the name.

00:04:32.000 Right?

00:04:33.000 Like, if your name, if you have a long, crazy name, like Fedor Emelianenko. 0.99

00:04:40.000 If you're like, hey Emelianenko, my name's Fedor, bitch. 1.00

00:04:43.000 Just call me Fedor. 0.98

00:04:44.000 That's when you get a nickname real quick.

00:04:47.000 Yeah, you have to get a nickname.

00:04:48.000 Yeah.

00:04:49.000 What about Seinfeld?

00:04:51.000 You would probably say Mr. Seinfeld, right?

00:04:53.000 Oh, I would say Mr. Seinfeld.

00:04:54.000 I said Mr. Ventura when I met Jesse Ventura.

00:04:57.000 I called him sir.

00:04:58.000 I always try to show, especially to older guys that I like, I always try to show him a lot of respect.

00:05:04.000 Yeah, if I met Seinfeld, for sure, I'd call him Mr. Seinfeld. 0.97

00:05:07.000 He's Jerry fucking Seinfeld. 0.55

00:05:08.000 But if you were sharing a pizza, like watching a movie. 0.99

00:05:11.000 Mr. Seinfeld, let me ask you this.

00:05:13.000 I don't know.

00:05:14.000 It would be weird.

00:05:15.000 Yeah, that's weird.

00:05:17.000 Yeah, that's weird.

00:05:18.000 But, I mean, tell me, like, some young kid who's seen you online for all these years hasn't done that to you.

00:05:22.000 Oh, no.

00:05:23.000 When friends call me Redman, it's gross.

00:05:25.000 Like, I'm like, oh, stop. 1.00

00:05:26.000 What the fuck? 0.99

00:05:27.000 My name's Brian. 1.00

00:05:28.000 People introduce me as Redman.

00:05:31.000 It's gross. 0.97

00:05:32.000 You're like a rapper. 0.98

00:05:33.000 You have a name.

00:05:34.000 Yeah.

00:05:34.000 Did you know...

00:05:35.000 Did we already say this?

00:05:36.000 Did you know Redman?

00:05:38.000 The rapper.

00:05:39.000 Yeah.

00:05:40.000 Has a group called Death...

00:05:42.000 Def Squad?

00:05:43.000 Def Squad?

00:05:44.000 That's hilarious! 1.00

00:05:47.000 That's like simulation theory shit. 0.99

00:05:49.000 I had no idea. 0.99

00:05:50.000 That's like parallel universes.

00:05:52.000 I had no idea. 0.99

00:05:54.000 Fucking weird. 0.99

00:05:56.000 That's so bizarre. 1.00

00:05:59.000 That is so bizarre.

00:06:01.000 And totally independent of each other.

00:06:02.000 And just think of how many different variables there are in between.

00:06:07.000 Is there Red Baron and Def Squad?

00:06:11.000 That is hilarious.

00:06:12.000 Red Man.

00:06:12.000 See?

00:06:12.000 Red Man and Def Squad.

00:06:14.000 That is hilarious, dude.

00:06:17.000 Oh, he's got Eric Sermon from EPMD? Dude.

00:06:22.000 He's like one of the best rappers of all time, and he's got like a weird speech thing going on, right?

00:06:30.000 I don't know him.

00:06:33.000 EPMD? Dude, I used to love EPMD. You don't know EPMD? I definitely know the name, but that's a generation just above my age group. 0.99

00:06:43.000 Dude, old school hip-hop.

00:06:45.000 What's their main song?

00:06:46.000 I probably know the songs.

00:06:47.000 I probably just don't remember. 0.99

00:06:49.000 I haven't listened to their shit in a long time. 0.99

00:06:51.000 I used to be a giant fan. 1.00

00:06:52.000 Strictly Business.

00:06:53.000 Yes.

00:06:54.000 There we go.

00:06:55.000 Go to like an album.

00:07:00.000 Strictly Business was great.

00:07:01.000 You Got to Chill was great.

00:07:05.000 They still got a MySpace.

00:07:06.000 How about this?

00:07:07.000 Here's something.

00:07:08.000 People forget Big Daddy Kane.

00:07:10.000 Remember Follow the Leader?

00:07:12.000 Yeah.

00:07:12.000 Dude.

00:07:13.000 Or was that Eric Bean Rakim?

00:07:14.000 Eric Bean Rakim was Follow the Leader.

00:07:16.000 Big Daddy Kane. 0.91

00:07:18.000 Goddamn Big Daddy Kane had a bunch of giant hits. 0.98

00:07:21.000 I met him when I was a kid. 0.98

00:07:24.000 My cousin loved him and he went to his show in Florida.

00:07:29.000 Let's see what the Big Daddy Kane hits were.

00:07:34.000 Ain't no half-stepping.

00:07:35.000 Smooth operator.

00:07:37.000 I get the job done.

00:07:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:07:41.000 He had a lot of great shit. 1.00

00:07:43.000 Taste of chocolate album. 1.00

00:07:45.000 He had a great style too.

00:07:48.000 Like a great, smooth, quick style of rapping.

00:07:53.000 I wish we could play some of this.

00:07:54.000 I know.

00:07:54.000 I hate this.

00:07:55.000 Yanked off motherfucking YouTube. 0.99

00:08:00.000 That's too bad. 0.99

00:08:01.000 But educate yourself, folks.

00:08:03.000 Go get a hold of some Big Daddy Kane. 1.00

00:08:05.000 Go listen to Cool Moe D. I Go to Work.

00:08:12.000 You gotta think back then, rap was only a few years old.

00:08:17.000 That's what's even cooler about it.

00:08:19.000 Like, if you listen to Cool Mode D, I go to work.

00:08:22.000 Let me take a guess, because I listened to that when I was a kid.

00:08:26.000 If I had to guess, that's a song from the 80s, right?

00:08:29.000 Yeah, I'd say that.

00:08:29.000 1989. Yeah.

00:08:31.000 Okay.

00:08:31.000 So, I went to school.

00:08:33.000 I went to a middle school in Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts when I was 13 years old.

00:08:40.000 And I remember that's when that hip hop, hippity to the hippity, hip hop, that's when that was going on.

00:08:47.000 That's when the Sugar Hill Gang had just come out with the first rap music ever.

00:08:54.000 That I had ever heard, rather.

00:08:55.000 I mean, there might have been some before, but that was the first mainstream rap that I was exposed to as a kid.

00:09:01.000 So that was 1980, I think.

00:09:05.000 Come on, son. 1.00

00:09:06.000 This is good shit. 1.00

00:09:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:10.000 Come on, man.

00:09:11.000 Kumo D. Look at the glasses.

00:09:16.000 It's great.

00:09:17.000 Now, how does this not get us kicked off YouTube?

00:09:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:21.000 Okay, let's hope Kumo D doesn't fuck us. 0.99

00:09:25.000 We're just trying to give you props, dude. 0.99

00:09:27.000 When LL Cool J, you know, Don't Call It a Comeback came out, I had a Ford Taurus and I had like the best bass ever, but that time period of music was exciting.

00:09:37.000 Dude, LL Cool J is a... 1.00

00:09:40.000 Bad motherfucker. 0.99

00:09:41.000 But people don't like to give LL Cool J too much props because he's too good looking and he's too yoked. 1.00

00:09:47.000 Yeah, and he's always eating ice cream.

00:09:48.000 People don't like it.

00:09:49.000 He's jacked.

00:09:50.000 He's built like a superhero.

00:09:52.000 He's a beautiful man.

00:09:53.000 I saw him perform this summer in Columbus.

00:09:55.000 He headlined a big festival, and there was tons of ladies that were just rapping all his old songs, getting excited for the night, just walking up, singing the Phenomenon.

00:10:05.000 Did he play the...

00:10:07.000 He did all his old stuff, yeah.

00:10:08.000 Oh, God, that's great.

00:10:08.000 Even at one point, like, stopped the show and was like, all right, what do you guys want?

00:10:11.000 Some new shit? 1.00

00:10:12.000 You want the old shit? 1.00

00:10:13.000 And everyone's like, oh, we want the old shit! 1.00

00:10:15.000 That's crazy. 1.00

00:10:16.000 Wow.

00:10:18.000 Mama Said Knock You Out?

00:10:19.000 I mean, come on, dude.

00:10:21.000 Come on, man.

00:10:21.000 That song doesn't jack you up when you're on the elliptical machine?

00:10:25.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:26.000 Dakota, come on. 1.00

00:10:27.000 It's a great fucking song. 1.00

00:10:30.000 And it's so loud and powerful. 1.00

00:10:32.000 Going back to Cali.

00:10:33.000 Come on, man.

00:10:34.000 He's got some great songs.

00:10:38.000 Great songs.

00:10:39.000 Her bikini, small, heels tall.

00:10:43.000 She said she likes the ocean.

00:10:47.000 Jesus.

00:10:48.000 I need to re-listen to that.

00:10:50.000 I haven't heard that song in a long time. 1.00

00:10:51.000 That fucking song rules. 1.00

00:10:54.000 Again, think of LL Cool J. When was that? 1.00

00:10:57.000 When was Going Back to Cali?

00:10:58.000 That was probably the 90s.

00:10:59.000 Yeah, same time period, right?

00:11:01.000 89?

00:11:02.000 Yeah, that song I was just playing was in 87. What about I Go to Work?

00:11:07.000 We just said that's 89, right?

00:11:09.000 Yeah.

00:11:10.000 So, what about Going Back to Cali?

00:11:14.000 88, 89, right?

00:11:16.000 I was middle school.

00:11:19.000 89?

00:11:20.000 89. That's insane.

00:11:23.000 That's insane.

00:11:24.000 Yeah, I was just about to graduate high school.

00:11:26.000 No, I graduated high school in 85. 89 was...

00:11:30.000 That's how weird my brain works.

00:11:32.000 I think of graduating high school...

00:11:34.000 88, actually.

00:11:35.000 It says recorded 87, released January 27, 1989. 88. I think of graduating high school and the day I started comedy, I superimpose those sometimes.

00:11:45.000 Like literally, I think of, these are the two milestones of my youth, for sure.

00:11:51.000 Graduating high school, 1985, and then starting comedy, 1988. Those are the big milestones.

00:11:56.000 So sometimes I confabulate them.

00:11:58.000 Is that the word?

00:11:59.000 No.

00:12:00.000 That might not be the right word.

00:12:02.000 Step down to my lane again.

00:12:04.000 Do you have one of those word of the day calendars and every day you look at it?

00:12:08.000 No.

00:12:08.000 No, I just try to find a good word that fits.

00:12:11.000 My friend has one of those and every day she tries to use a new word and I'm just like, it's the word, isn't it?

00:12:16.000 What is this?

00:12:17.000 Okay.

00:12:18.000 In psychiatry, confabulation is a disturbance of memory defined as the production of fabricated, distorted, or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world without conscious intention to deceive.

00:12:33.000 That's right.

00:12:34.000 Never.

00:12:35.000 I used it right?

00:12:36.000 I think so.

00:12:37.000 How did I use it again?

00:12:38.000 What did I say?

00:12:39.000 You switched the dates of yourself.

00:12:41.000 Right, that I confabulate them.

00:12:43.000 But I know that I'm wrong once I say it.

00:12:47.000 Okay, so it's a disturbance of memory.

00:12:50.000 Yeah, so it's right.

00:12:51.000 Confabulation.

00:12:51.000 Okay.

00:12:53.000 Yeah.

00:12:54.000 Yeah, I get, um, I think about it, man.

00:12:59.000 Think about those, that, like, the date you graduated high school, did you ever have, like, nightmares that you had to go back, that you didn't take tests?

00:13:07.000 I slept through most of high school.

00:13:10.000 The whole school I was sleeping, so it was all a dream to me.

00:13:14.000 I actually probably slept, honestly, 40% of high school.

00:13:18.000 Why?

00:13:19.000 Because I only liked art class, and that's all I liked.

00:13:22.000 I hated everything else, except English. 0.99

00:13:24.000 I liked English class because I liked stories and writing crazy shit. 0.98

00:13:29.000 I have to bring this up because I brought it up on the podcast before. 0.96

00:13:32.000 There was a guy... 0.93

00:13:33.000 I think I told you that when I was in high school that I had an art teacher that was just a douchebag. 0.76

00:13:39.000 He just was not nice and he was really negative and he must have been depressed.

00:13:44.000 He just wasn't a happy guy.

00:13:47.000 And he made me stop doing art because I didn't want to be in his class.

00:13:52.000 I liked Frank Frazetta illustrations and I liked comic book illustrations.

00:13:58.000 That's what I was really into learning how to do.

00:14:00.000 And this guy was just pissing on dreams.

00:14:03.000 Just saying, you'll never be able to do that.

00:14:06.000 You're going to have to be able to do advertisements for magazines.

00:14:10.000 That's most likely where you're going to work.

00:14:12.000 Wow.

00:14:12.000 He was just super negative.

00:14:14.000 But there was one guy in the class that was the most talented guy by far.

00:14:18.000 His name is John DeVore.

00:14:19.000 And I talked about it on the podcast, and John reached out to me. 1.00

00:14:23.000 Oh, fuck. 0.99

00:14:24.000 John got ahold of me, and he told me that he fucking quit that guy's class. 1.00

00:14:30.000 That guy failed him. 0.97

00:14:31.000 And this guy was insanely talented.

00:14:34.000 He was like, I was always pretty good.

00:14:38.000 But there was another guy in our class that was better than me, too.

00:14:40.000 His name was Kevin.

00:14:41.000 He was a football player. 0.98

00:14:43.000 He was a big, stocky fucking dude, and his brother was on the football team. 0.99

00:14:46.000 Goddamn, I wish I could remember his last name. 0.99

00:14:48.000 But those were the two guys. 0.98

00:14:50.000 I was like number three.

00:14:51.000 Those are two guys.

00:14:52.000 We all did the same style. 0.99

00:14:55.000 It was all comic book illustration type shit. 0.98

00:14:58.000 He was the most versatile. 0.99

00:15:02.000 He could draw beautiful things.

00:15:06.000 He could draw a rose or he could draw a monster.

00:15:08.000 I can only draw monsters. 1.00

00:15:10.000 If I had to draw a rose, it's going to look like shit. 0.99

00:15:12.000 But I would draw a fucked up werewolf or something like that. 0.99

00:15:16.000 So I was into that kind of stuff. 0.91

00:15:17.000 And all three of us were into that sort of comic book style art. 0.97

00:15:23.000 And this fucking teacher, I mean he rather, got the most talented guy in the class and gave him an F. When he told me that, I went, what? 1.00

00:15:34.000 I think he said gave him an F. That's fucked up. 1.00

00:15:37.000 And that teacher wouldn't exist in today's world because you would have filmed him. 0.99

00:15:40.000 You would have put it on YouTube.

00:15:41.000 It would have become a news story.

00:15:43.000 It would have been like checking the teachers is like another big thing.

00:15:48.000 It is, but when a teacher has tenure, it can be really difficult in certain schools.

00:15:54.000 I know they have that problem with that in certain universities.

00:15:57.000 Teachers have tenure.

00:15:59.000 You really can't fire them. 1.00

00:16:01.000 And once they know they can't be fired, they could be really, really radical and have some crazy fucking ideas and teach your kids some shit that you don't agree with, that no one agrees with. 0.99

00:16:11.000 And if they get into a university and they get into the system and your kid winds up in their class... 0.99

00:16:17.000 I mean, there's some really crazy teachers out there. 0.98

00:16:20.000 And there's this guy in Toronto who is a professor, and they're demanding that he take sensitivity courses and all kinds of crazy shit. 0.98

00:16:32.000 And they're calling him transphobic because he won't use the 28 different gender pronouns that are available today. 0.99

00:16:40.000 There's like 30 fucking gender pronouns. 0.99

00:16:42.000 So they're talking to him, they're calling him transphobic and gender, binary gender believer. 0.99

00:16:50.000 And this guy is lashing out.

00:16:53.000 Instead of backing off, he's decided to make more and more educational YouTube videos about what's wrong with this kind of censorship.

00:17:01.000 Because what he's saying is, and I agree with this, if you look at a lot of what's going on with maybe what people would call a social justice warrior, or people want to shut people down from being able to say something, what's going on is there's this need to control,

00:17:20.000 and there's a need to control other people and to push your idea on other people, whether or not they agree with you or not.

00:17:28.000 That mirrors the same thing that happens with religions.

00:17:32.000 It's like, you might be right or you might not be right.

00:17:36.000 There might be an argument against what you're saying that you might have to consider.

00:17:39.000 When people get an idea one way in their head, They don't want to consider any other possibilities and when you see these kids rallying against this one professor it's never been more evident because this professor is brilliant and what he's saying is non-emotional and he's talking about the problems with how these things are defined and one of the things is he brought up this DVD that one of the teachers of this course was making about how to how to make sure that you're not subconsciously

00:18:10.000 biased Or subconsciously prejudiced.

00:18:15.000 And the DVDs were like 700 bucks or something like that for a DVD series.

00:18:21.000 What?

00:18:22.000 Yeah.

00:18:22.000 Well, this guy outlines all this in his video, in his YouTube video.

00:18:26.000 And he's like, this is craziness.

00:18:28.000 Like, this doesn't make sense.

00:18:30.000 It's never been proven to work.

00:18:32.000 And the idea that there's subconscious biases, that you're...

00:18:38.000 Accusing someone of being guilty before you're ever even talking to them about something.

00:18:46.000 Saying a subconscious bias is a very strange thing.

00:18:52.000 Like, boy, how do you know if you have that?

00:18:54.000 It's subconscious.

00:18:57.000 You're making people think they're guilty even if they're not.

00:19:01.000 Like, if you say you have a subconscious bias, that's one of the things that people do when they're super, super liberal.

00:19:07.000 In order to prevent from other people thinking they have a subconscious bias, they go way out of their way to show no bias whatsoever and even favor something that people would be biased against.

00:19:18.000 Like, they're super into gay marriage. 0.95

00:19:19.000 I love seeing gay couples.

00:19:21.000 It's amazing.

00:19:22.000 Do you love seeing heterosexual couples, too?

00:19:24.000 Or do you just freak out over gay people?

00:19:26.000 Like, what's going on?

00:19:28.000 You know, I like seeing people in love, too.

00:19:30.000 But, I mean, don't you like seeing all of them?

00:19:32.000 I like seeing the whole batch.

00:19:34.000 It's nice.

00:19:34.000 It's very exhausting nowadays.

00:19:36.000 Gay people in love?

00:19:37.000 Just everything.

00:19:38.000 Like, how you're supposed to act, what you're supposed to say. 0.96

00:19:40.000 It's ridiculous. 0.58

00:19:41.000 Last night, I was at this bar, and I thought I was sitting next to a taller woman, and then she looked over, and it was obviously a post-transformation. 1.00

00:19:54.000 You mean a transgender woman, you fuck. 1.00

00:19:56.000 You have to say the right word with your mouth. 1.00

00:19:58.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:19:59.000 You have to say the right word.

00:20:01.000 She transformed.

00:20:02.000 Anyways, so, but then the whole time, she, right?

00:20:06.000 Right.

00:20:06.000 She kept on looking at me as if, but that person was way taller, and so if it was a guy, it would be a big, giant guy just staring at me.

00:20:16.000 Right.

00:20:16.000 So, either way, I felt like...

00:20:18.000 Freaked out about it, you know?

00:20:20.000 So am I not allowed to be freaked out because she's a woman now? 1.00

00:20:23.000 That some guy's staring at me?

00:20:25.000 Woman? 0.96

00:20:26.000 Yeah, well, anyone staring at you, you're allowed to get freaked out over anyone staring at you. 1.00

00:20:31.000 I mean, if a little kid was staring at you, like Mad Dog in New News 10, you're like, oh my god, am I going to have to fuck this 10-year-old up? 0.99

00:20:39.000 You know? 1.00

00:20:40.000 Anybody staring at you is not good.

00:20:42.000 I didn't know how to act this.

00:20:44.000 It was weird.

00:20:44.000 You gotta stand your ground.

00:20:45.000 You gotta growl.

00:20:46.000 Can you get your back up?

00:20:48.000 Get your prickles up?

00:20:51.000 It's weird.

00:20:52.000 If you don't want to vote for Hillary this election, people kind of think that you hate women, essentially. 1.00

00:20:58.000 I don't know that it's overall.

00:21:00.000 No, not necessarily. 0.99

00:21:01.000 Just fools. 1.00

00:21:02.000 Just fools. 1.00

00:21:03.000 It's an obvious target, right? 1.00

00:21:05.000 You don't vote for her because you hate women.

00:21:08.000 You don't understand what a milestone this is, man.

00:21:10.000 You don't care. 1.00

00:21:11.000 Because you don't fucking care. 1.00

00:21:12.000 Okay? 0.99

00:21:13.000 You know what you're worried about, man?

00:21:14.000 You're worried about going to the gym and being a bro.

00:21:16.000 Okay?

00:21:16.000 So why don't you do that?

00:21:17.000 Why don't you just go to the gym and be a bro and leave the fucking voting to people who care. 0.99

00:21:22.000 You know those super aggro, progressive type people? 0.99

00:21:28.000 I remember I was in a bar once in New York, and I was having a conversation with this girl who was a waitress, and the bartender got so aggro bro on me.

00:21:38.000 And it was about...

00:21:41.000 It was the O.J. Simpson case?

00:21:46.000 O.J. Simpson had been accused of domestic violence before, like before the murder.

00:21:52.000 It was something like that.

00:21:55.000 Something along those lines.

00:21:56.000 And I remember all I asked was, I said, that's interesting.

00:22:00.000 I said, he was accused of being, but he was acquitted?

00:22:04.000 And the guy just totally ego-bro'd me. 0.97

00:22:08.000 And he goes, listen, man, when a woman says that something happened, it fucking happened, okay? 0.97

00:22:16.000 Until you know better, it happened. 0.98

00:22:18.000 I'm like, but didn't you just say he was acquitted?

00:22:20.000 Like, I think he probably murdered his ex-wife and that dude, but didn't you say that he was acquitted?

00:22:25.000 Like, you can't, like, you can't, you can't tack that in there if he was acquitted.

00:22:30.000 We don't really know what happened, unless you were there.

00:22:33.000 We know that a court of law found that he wasn't guilty of it.

00:22:36.000 Is that because he had a lot of money?

00:22:38.000 Did he never go to trial for that?

00:22:40.000 Was it just something that someone accused him of dropping and then dropped the charges?

00:22:44.000 What was it?

00:22:45.000 But he didn't want to hear none of that, dude.

00:22:47.000 He wanted to come strong with the eco-bro.

00:22:50.000 He just puffed up.

00:22:51.000 I didn't even respond to him. 1.00

00:22:53.000 I remember going, look at this silly fuck. 1.00

00:22:55.000 This is ridiculous. 1.00

00:22:56.000 He got so aggro with me. 0.84

00:22:57.000 Did you watch that Made in America, that ESPN 30 for 30 on the trial yet?

00:23:03.000 No.

00:23:04.000 It's available on demand.

00:23:05.000 They'll probably leave it up there for a while.

00:23:07.000 It's still, as far as I, because I looked it up, it's the only place you can find, they show the actual photos from the crime scene and photos of, I don't know if it's an autopsy photo, but of Nicole with like a slash in her throat and you can see Ron Goldman too.

00:23:29.000 Wow.

00:23:34.000 I don't know how they kept it off...

00:23:37.000 It's amazing how some things like can be kept off the web pretty easy nowadays like it's like I forget what it was recently where they did just the best job oh those photos of the SNL girl oh yeah and those were just gone like every link dead like there was not one place to find it it was really well done and But it's weird how,

00:24:02.000 like, did you hear 4chan's closing?

00:24:04.000 They're going bankrupt.

00:24:06.000 It costs money to run 4chan?

00:24:07.000 Yeah.

00:24:08.000 A lot of money.

00:24:09.000 The servers, mostly.

00:24:10.000 They must get mad, mad, crazy traffic right now.

00:24:14.000 It's weird.

00:24:15.000 All our websites are dying.

00:24:17.000 Remember Style Project?

00:24:19.000 I used to talk to that dude on the phone.

00:24:21.000 Jay Style.

00:24:22.000 Yeah.

00:24:23.000 Even Dig.

00:24:24.000 I don't think I've been to Dig in so long.

00:24:26.000 I don't even know if that's still there.

00:24:27.000 Dig's there?

00:24:28.000 Yeah?

00:24:28.000 Yeah.

00:24:29.000 I go to Dig all the time.

00:24:30.000 Do you?

00:24:31.000 Yeah, you get crazy stories. 0.98

00:24:32.000 Dig is like one of the one-stop shops of getting interesting shit online. 0.99

00:24:38.000 For me, I'm like, what the fuck is going on in the world? 0.99

00:24:40.000 I'll go to Dig, and Dig will be about some new scientific adventure, next to some new fucking paleological find, next to some new technological discovery, next to new cell phones, new cars. 0.99

00:24:54.000 It's all kinds of crazy stories come out, man.

00:24:57.000 Seems like when Kevin left, I kind of just stopped going.

00:25:00.000 I started using Reddit more and Fark.

00:25:02.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:25:02.000 All those are great, but to me, it's a super easy one-stop, what's the weird shit? 0.99

00:25:07.000 And always weird, interesting things.

00:25:11.000 They aggregate these stories from all these other different websites and stuff, too.

00:25:16.000 It's easy to go to someone who's already done the collecting for you.

00:25:21.000 I believe in supporting collectors, because I don't have the time to do that.

00:25:25.000 You're going out finding all these cool stories about space, and you're putting them up in one spot.

00:25:32.000 That's very valuable because it's like a DJ. They're like a DJ for stories.

00:25:37.000 Because they're not just covering any fucking story. 1.00

00:25:40.000 Because if they covered any fucking story, it would be boring as shit. 0.99

00:25:43.000 You know, there's a lot of stories that are going on that are just like, oh, that's not that good. 1.00

00:25:46.000 But they've figured out, like, what's the juiciest shit? 0.99

00:25:49.000 Like, what's the more interesting shit? 1.00

00:25:51.000 What's the this? 1.00

00:25:52.000 What's the that?

00:25:52.000 And they shuffle it all in together.

00:25:54.000 You always can get something fascinating out of it.

00:25:57.000 It's very addictive, man. 0.97

00:26:00.000 Looking on the internet for those stories like weird crazy fucking scientific discoveries and It's very addictive. 0.98

00:26:10.000 I went deep. 0.96

00:26:11.000 I just like when you get deep in a subject and then you start watching videos and you start learning more.

00:26:15.000 And then if anyone happens to ask you that question, you'd be like, oh, I know everything.

00:26:19.000 I went deep on toaster ovens.

00:26:21.000 So if you need any information with toaster ovens, I know all the recent news on toaster ovens.

00:26:26.000 But I went so deep.

00:26:27.000 I just laid in bed for two hours watching reviews of toaster ovens and Dude, you're the go-to toaster oven guy.

00:26:33.000 I tell everybody that.

00:26:34.000 Do you have a toaster oven?

00:26:35.000 It's great.

00:26:36.000 They're great.

00:26:36.000 I've never had one.

00:26:37.000 You know what they're really good for, man?

00:26:39.000 English muffins with, like, tuna fish on them and a little cheese.

00:26:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:26:44.000 Fly that bitch in there. 1.00

00:26:45.000 Jamie just made a face. 1.00

00:26:46.000 Like, he's disgusted.

00:26:47.000 How dare you?

00:26:49.000 Yeah, Martin, you could put a chicken in it.

00:26:51.000 You don't believe in a tuna melt with an English muffin?

00:26:54.000 No?

00:26:55.000 You wouldn't eat a tuna melt?

00:26:56.000 Tuna's got a stench to it that I can't describe. 1.00

00:26:58.000 Someone doesn't eat pussy. 1.00

00:27:00.000 Someone doesn't eat pussy. 1.00

00:27:02.000 When you have, what is it, fresh? 1.00

00:27:04.000 It's not mahi, mahi, mahi, mahi?

00:27:06.000 Yeah.

00:27:06.000 Yes.

00:27:07.000 Yeah, so like that.

00:27:08.000 I know it's different from like, what, a star-kissed in a little pouch or whatever.

00:27:11.000 Right.

00:27:12.000 Obviously way different tuna. 0.99

00:27:13.000 But to me, when it's out in the open and someone has just cooked it, it just fills up the room with a fucking stench. 0.97

00:27:20.000 That's why you mix it with mustard and mayo. 0.98

00:27:23.000 I don't know how to describe it.

00:27:25.000 It smells like the ocean.

00:27:26.000 It's real weird.

00:27:28.000 Yeah, that doesn't bother me.

00:27:30.000 No, no, no. 0.99

00:27:30.000 You got to put weird shit, though. 0.99

00:27:32.000 You got a bunch of weird shit with your food. 1.00

00:27:34.000 I'm a weird guy. 1.00

00:27:35.000 Eddie Bravo's got an onion thing. 0.99

00:27:37.000 If he gets onions or something, he'll fucking throw up. 0.99

00:27:39.000 Really? 0.99

00:27:40.000 Yeah.

00:27:40.000 Hates onions.

00:27:41.000 Hates them.

00:27:41.000 Why?

00:27:43.000 Stepfather was a dick, and his stepfather used to make him eat ceviche. 1.00

00:27:47.000 And so to this day, he sees onions, he wants to fucking throw up. 1.00

00:27:51.000 Wait, who wants being made to eat ceviche? 0.99

00:27:54.000 Ceviche is great!

00:27:56.000 Hey man, I wasn't there.

00:27:58.000 I don't know what went down, but he's my boy.

00:28:03.000 He can't eat any onions. 0.99

00:28:07.000 If he gets onions, he'll fucking puke. 1.00

00:28:09.000 To is Korean, so she eats all this fucked up... 1.00

00:28:14.000 Kimchi? 1.00

00:28:14.000 Does she do the kimchi? 1.00

00:28:15.000 She eats eyeballs. 0.68

00:28:16.000 She loves eating fish eyeballs. 1.00

00:28:17.000 She'll just go up to a fish and pull out the eyeball and eat it. 1.00

00:28:20.000 I'm like, what are you doing?

00:28:22.000 Good lord.

00:28:23.000 And she had this like, her mom's six, so we went to go visit her mom.

00:28:28.000 And so she opens up this thing and she's like, Mom, I got you everything.

00:28:33.000 And it was like everything that you wouldn't want to eat.

00:28:36.000 Like pig ear, pig feet, like cow noses. 0.98

00:28:40.000 It was just like a smorgasbord.

00:28:43.000 There was not one thing that I would eat in this whole tray.

00:28:46.000 And it was like a delicatessen to do.

00:28:48.000 Whoa.

00:28:50.000 Where do they balut?

00:28:52.000 That's Philippines. 0.72

00:28:53.000 They love that stuff.

00:28:54.000 We used to serve that on Fear Factor as a hard thing to do.

00:28:58.000 And my Filipino friends, because in pool, a lot of the best pool players in the world are Filipino.

00:29:05.000 So I played pool a lot.

00:29:06.000 I was always around Filipino guys.

00:29:07.000 And while I was doing Fear Factor, I played a lot of pool. 1.00

00:29:10.000 These fucking dudes, they were like, I'll eat that shit tomorrow. 1.00

00:29:13.000 Like, bring some of it in. 1.00

00:29:14.000 You got any left over?

00:29:15.000 They wanted to eat it.

00:29:16.000 I was like, we made people eat that stuff.

00:29:19.000 If you don't know what we're talking about, it's a fetus.

00:29:21.000 It's a duck fetus that's in, it's like, it's cooked in the yolk. 0.99

00:29:26.000 It's really kind of fucked up. 0.99

00:29:27.000 It's kind of gruesome. 1.00

00:29:28.000 And it looks like a duck.

00:29:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:29:29.000 The picture I remember looked like a baby duck, that you would just eat a baby duck.

00:29:33.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:34.000 I didn't know until I was like fucking 39 years old or something. 0.97

00:29:38.000 I don't know how old I was when I found out that a chicken egg doesn't become a chicken. 0.97

00:29:46.000 Like, I never thought of it.

00:29:48.000 I never even thought of it.

00:29:49.000 Like, of course it can't become a chicken.

00:29:51.000 It's just like, I thought you had to just grab them quick before the chicken came out.

00:29:55.000 If you eat them, don't let them expire.

00:29:57.000 That's what I thought. 0.99

00:29:58.000 If you got them early, but if you sat on them, then you're going to have to take care of that goddamn chicken. 1.00

00:30:02.000 Because the chick's going to be born. 0.99

00:30:04.000 And that's what I thought.

00:30:05.000 I thought you had to eat the eggs quick.

00:30:08.000 Because they were just going to become chickens.

00:30:09.000 Because in my mind, and this is as a dopey child, I felt like once something's out of the body, Well, it's obviously, it's just, that's how they do it.

00:30:19.000 They lay their eggs, and then the things come out of the eggs.

00:30:21.000 It's out of the body.

00:30:22.000 It must have given birth.

00:30:24.000 Like, in my mind, it has to be, it's an egg, it's in a shell, it gave birth.

00:30:28.000 So I didn't understand that, no, it has to be a fertilized egg.

00:30:31.000 Oh, so what happens then? 1.00

00:30:33.000 Well, then all that shit that's in the egg, all that shit becomes a little bird. 1.00

00:30:38.000 But birds are such hoes, they're so goddamn prolific, that they drop an egg every day. 1.00

00:30:43.000 I know. 0.98

00:30:44.000 I have chickens that drop an egg every day. 0.98

00:30:47.000 That means every day they want to be shitting out a baby.

00:30:50.000 Has your cholesterol or anything gone up since you got these chickens? 0.94

00:30:54.000 That is a gigantic myth.

00:30:57.000 Dietary cholesterol, according to the most recent science, according to people that are way smarter than me.

00:31:05.000 Okay, I know there's some disputes on this amongst people that are plant-based, people that believe that you can get everything that you need from vegetables.

00:31:16.000 But...

00:31:19.000 I think dietary cholesterol is less significant than sedentary lifestyle.

00:31:26.000 Genetics are a huge factor in having high cholesterol.

00:31:30.000 And then there's also, I've come to learn about LDL cholesterol and HDL cholesterol.

00:31:37.000 And that having higher levels of each other can balance each other out.

00:31:41.000 And it's not necessarily the level of cholesterol they're concerned with.

00:31:46.000 It's the type of cholesterol.

00:31:47.000 So it's It's not food.

00:31:51.000 Dietary cholesterol is actually important for developing hormones.

00:31:55.000 It's actually an important factor in just your body having the proper nutrients to rebuild itself.

00:32:05.000 Dietary cholesterol is actually good for you. 0.99

00:32:07.000 We've been fucked. 1.00

00:32:09.000 We've been fucked. 1.00

00:32:10.000 We've been fucked by these food industries. 1.00

00:32:13.000 There was an article today from Aris Technica. 0.99

00:32:15.000 How do you say that?

00:32:16.000 Aris Technica? 0.57

00:32:18.000 Where they were talking about the sugar industry, the soda industry, paying off people to lie about the negative health effects of sugar.

00:32:26.000 Yeah.

00:32:27.000 Of sugar in their sodas.

00:32:29.000 We forget that sodas were created as a dessert.

00:32:32.000 You're not supposed to drink it as a beverage, really.

00:32:34.000 All day long.

00:32:34.000 Yeah, it was supposed to be like, oh, after dinner, maybe we can all split a Coca-Cola.

00:32:39.000 Big Soda is buying off health orgs to keep profits in Americans fat.

00:32:45.000 Top producers backed 96 national organizations defeated 29 proposed regulations.

00:32:51.000 Whoa.

00:32:53.000 Now, I switched to Arnold Palmer's a few years ago in iced teas.

00:32:58.000 Rest in peace, Arnold Palmer.

00:33:00.000 I don't know if that's better, though, because the sugar of the lemonade...

00:33:04.000 Probably not.

00:33:05.000 It's only half a glass.

00:33:07.000 Well, it depends on how many grams.

00:33:10.000 Really, there's a new soda that they sweeten with stevia.

00:33:15.000 I wonder if it's any good.

00:33:17.000 It's gross.

00:33:17.000 I saw somebody was drinking it that's very health-conscious the other day.

00:33:21.000 I looked at them drinking it.

00:33:23.000 I tried the, what is it, the Trader Joe's or the Whole Foods Stevia Colas.

00:33:28.000 And it tastes like RC Cola.

00:33:30.000 Remember RC Cola?

00:33:31.000 Oh, it was Nate Diaz.

00:33:32.000 Nate Diaz was drinking it.

00:33:34.000 Nate had it on his, I think that is it.

00:33:37.000 Is it called Zevia?

00:33:38.000 Nate had it on his Instagram page.

00:33:42.000 Look, I like Stevia and coffee.

00:33:43.000 I like it.

00:33:44.000 It's different than soda, different than sugar, but... 0.99

00:33:48.000 At least I know it's not fucking me, you know? 0.75

00:33:50.000 Starbucks just finally got Stevia and almond milk within the last month. 0.98

00:33:54.000 There he goes, Zevia.

00:33:56.000 Yeah, and you know, if you know Nate, Nate is super health conscious.

00:34:00.000 He eats real clean.

00:34:03.000 Once they really got deep into triathlons and stuff like that, that's when they really...

00:34:09.000 Nick was the first one.

00:34:10.000 He really met a bunch of people that ate really clean, all these racers, and then he realized, like, oh, okay, organic food's way better for you.

00:34:19.000 Oh, okay, don't eat pastas and breads.

00:34:23.000 And then I think he cut out everything except for fish.

00:34:28.000 I think it was like no land animals he was doing for a while, but he might even be full vegan now.

00:34:34.000 And his brother's gone back and forth.

00:34:36.000 Sometimes they take in fish.

00:34:38.000 And I know that they were eating eggs.

00:34:39.000 Jake Shields eat eggs.

00:34:41.000 You know, like a lot of those guys hang out together.

00:34:43.000 And they have a real similar diet. 0.98

00:34:47.000 But those guys, if they're drinking something like that, like that Zevia shit, I guarantee it's not bad for you. 0.98

00:34:55.000 Stevia is just not bad for you, right? 0.99

00:34:57.000 I've never seen any negative effects of stevia.

00:34:59.000 I thought there was, because I remember I was really big into stevia, and then there was an article that came out about something, and I was like, I'm just going back to sugar.

00:35:07.000 I'm just sick of this.

00:35:08.000 My only sugar that I really take now is I get some sugar in my iced coffee instead of putting sweeteners in there.

00:35:15.000 You just put it in yours so you get it unsweetened and you dump it in?

00:35:17.000 Yeah, just a little bit.

00:35:20.000 But I don't know how bad that is.

00:35:22.000 And I've cut down Starbucks now.

00:35:23.000 I used to do it every day, like one of these every day.

00:35:25.000 Now I do it like twice a week.

00:35:27.000 I think they're saying more and more that it's just not good unless it's in the food naturally.

00:35:34.000 Like sugar, when it's connected to all the fiber and all the vitamins and nutrients, it's in like an orange or something like that.

00:35:43.000 You know, there's some juicy oranges that you get that are probably better than any dessert you ever have.

00:35:49.000 But... 1.00

00:35:50.000 Isn't there like a factor in desserts that you know you're not supposed to be eating that shit? 1.00

00:35:54.000 You know? 1.00

00:35:55.000 Yeah.

00:35:55.000 The thing I miss the most, and it's hard to get out here in California, or at least unless you go to like a market or like an outdoor, one of those.

00:36:05.000 Is a peach or a nectarine or a plum that's actually nice.

00:36:10.000 In Ohio, you would just bite these humongous peaches and they'd just melt in your mouth.

00:36:15.000 Out here, they're hard as a rock.

00:36:16.000 And then you just have to kind of wait for them to get mushy one day and go, okay, now it's mushy.

00:36:21.000 But mushy's not the same as that.

00:36:23.000 I think you've got to catch them in season. 0.99

00:36:25.000 And I think, look, it's dry as fuck out here. 0.99

00:36:28.000 I bet a lot of fruit trees and shit I mean, we're good for almonds, man. 1.00

00:36:35.000 This is what California's good for, almonds. 1.00

00:36:38.000 Oh, here's some shit I found out, okay? 0.98

00:36:40.000 When I was at the Tahone Ranch, the Tahone Ranch, they have pistachio trees, but they graft the pistachio leaves and branches onto another sturdier tree, like an avocado. 0.99

00:36:54.000 Oh, cool.

00:36:55.000 And so you've got like a pistachio tree growing out of an avocado tree.

00:37:01.000 That's awesome.

00:37:01.000 And the dude was telling me, I was like, what?

00:37:03.000 They can do that?

00:37:05.000 Did you know they can do that?

00:37:06.000 I think they do a lot of things like that in farming nowadays.

00:37:10.000 How did I not know that?

00:37:11.000 I mean, I knew about grafting limbs onto other plants, but I always thought it was the same plant.

00:37:18.000 Like, you would graft your tomato branch onto another tomato. 1.00

00:37:22.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

00:37:23.000 How do they do that? 1.00

00:37:25.000 It's kind of...

00:37:26.000 I don't know.

00:37:27.000 Again, I would say they probably like...

00:37:31.000 What is this, Jamie?

00:37:33.000 It's a hand-drawn diagram, it looks like.

00:37:36.000 It says right here, like, figure when they cut.

00:37:37.000 You know what this looks like?

00:37:39.000 Whenever dudes get abducted by aliens, and then they come back, what was it like?

00:37:42.000 Well, let me draw it for you.

00:37:44.000 This is the first one.

00:37:45.000 The first one I come to, I'm on the table.

00:37:48.000 The second one, the table...

00:37:49.000 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

00:37:50.000 Go back, go back.

00:37:51.000 What are you doing?

00:37:52.000 The second one, the stable starts to vibrate and then the alien comes in from overhead and now all I could see was his head and the lights in the ceiling and then an examining machine came down.

00:38:04.000 See the arrow?

00:38:05.000 Down.

00:38:06.000 That's exactly what it looks like.

00:38:07.000 And then I became one with the galaxy.

00:38:11.000 See, there's the alien and then the galaxy.

00:38:15.000 He reaches the next level.

00:38:16.000 The next level of the game.

00:38:18.000 That's what I see. 1.00

00:38:18.000 I see a dick in a butthole and it's getting probed on that last one. 1.00

00:38:23.000 Uh, I don't see a dick. 1.00

00:38:24.000 If your dick looks like that, go to a doctor for sure. 1.00

00:38:27.000 It's a quake dick. 1.00

00:38:28.000 It's a quake dick. 1.00

00:38:30.000 It looks like a nail. 0.99

00:38:32.000 It's a T-cut.

00:38:33.000 Oh, a T-cut.

00:38:34.000 On a stem.

00:38:35.000 And then they're implanting it.

00:38:36.000 It says a bud gets implanted in there.

00:38:37.000 Oh, wow.

00:38:38.000 And then the bud grows out of the stem.

00:38:41.000 Wow, that's crazy.

00:38:42.000 So they implant the bud in there and then they cut it?

00:38:45.000 Is that what they're saying?

00:38:46.000 It says cutting the bud?

00:38:48.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:38:49.000 There's some other pictures where you can kind of see that, but this is a little more of a illustration.

00:38:53.000 How bizarre is that, man?

00:38:54.000 They make a tree grow inside another tree.

00:38:57.000 I did not know that they can Franken-tree.

00:38:59.000 But I should have known, right?

00:39:01.000 It makes sense.

00:39:03.000 Did they talk about the drought and how pistachios are supposedly going to double in price in the next year because we had such a drought this year?

00:39:14.000 And I guess pistachios are just about to go crazy sky high, so buy them now.

00:39:18.000 I know that's a really good point, and I know it's important for agriculture in California, but I want to go, what are your pistachios going to cost more? 0.99

00:39:29.000 Oh, you fucking baby. 1.00

00:39:31.000 Jesus. 1.00

00:39:32.000 What if you buy a bag a day?

00:39:34.000 Dude, it's $2 more a day in pistachios. 1.00

00:39:37.000 I'm fucked. 1.00

00:39:39.000 It's also a good effect. 1.00

00:39:40.000 What percentage of your fucking budget goes to pistachios ever in your life? 0.97

00:39:45.000 To even consume a moment of your time thinking about this as a possibility, like, what about the pistachio prices going up? 0.99

00:39:54.000 I love...

00:39:55.000 What's your favorite three things that you buy?

00:39:57.000 Well, if I gave you an opportunity to give up pistachios for the rest of your life, do you think you would struggle?

00:40:02.000 No.

00:40:03.000 There'd be no issues.

00:40:04.000 I'd go mad walnut.

00:40:06.000 There'd be no issues.

00:40:07.000 I'd be like, I'm a Brazil nut.

00:40:08.000 I'm interesting.

00:40:09.000 I like complex flavors.

00:40:11.000 Yeah, I mean, there'd be no problem.

00:40:12.000 You'd eat peanuts.

00:40:13.000 You'd be like, cashews.

00:40:14.000 I'm down with cashews.

00:40:16.000 I don't need...

00:40:17.000 Where do you buy walnuts?

00:40:19.000 Like, full walnuts?

00:40:20.000 Like, I try to buy, like, walnuts.

00:40:22.000 Not, like, chopped up walnuts. 1.00

00:40:23.000 Like, I'm talking about the ones in the show where you crack them with the stupid crackers. 1.00

00:40:26.000 Good question. 1.00

00:40:27.000 I guess the supermarket, right?

00:40:28.000 I looked.

00:40:29.000 They don't have walnuts?

00:40:31.000 Maybe walnuts... 0.97

00:40:32.000 Nobody gives a fuck about walnuts anymore. 1.00

00:40:34.000 People realize, like, if you have, like, mixed nuts, they're like, ah, bitch-ass walnuts. 1.00

00:40:38.000 Give me that almond, motherfucker. 1.00

00:40:39.000 Who wants to crack that? 1.00

00:40:42.000 Especially, yeah.

00:40:43.000 Like, how many people buy nutcrackers these days?

00:40:45.000 If you're not cracking claws, like lobster claws or crab claws, right? 1.00

00:40:51.000 You're not buying a fucking nutcracker. 0.99

00:40:53.000 When was the last time you cracked a nut? 1.00

00:40:57.000 Bitch, we aren't cracking any nuts. 1.00

00:40:58.000 I have a nutcracker collection at home. 1.00

00:41:01.000 It's one of those things you just leave in Ohio.

00:41:06.000 Just like the dance?

00:41:07.000 Yeah, the one where you have the handle and they...

00:41:10.000 Yeah, those are real.

00:41:11.000 That's what people don't know, like the nutcracker.

00:41:13.000 When I was a kid, I was always like, why do they call it the nutcracker when it's just a bunch of wooden toys?

00:41:17.000 Like, why is that the nutcracker?

00:41:19.000 And realize, oh, those are actual nutcrackers.

00:41:22.000 When I was a boy, we cracked our nuts.

00:41:24.000 We didn't just go and buy them all shelled and packaged by Mexicans. 1.00

00:41:30.000 I also had a box of wooden ducks.

00:41:33.000 Remember when that was a popular thing? 1.00

00:41:34.000 That's what stupid people were when we were kids. 1.00

00:41:37.000 Like, here, have a wooden duck, you fucking dumps. 1.00

00:41:40.000 You're too stupid to play with anything that moves, you piece of shit. 1.00

00:41:44.000 Just take this fucking wooden duck and pretend it's real. 1.00

00:41:49.000 Yeah, have duck fights. 1.00

00:41:50.000 I don't give a shit. 1.00

00:41:51.000 I'm over here. 1.00

00:41:52.000 Starving to death.

00:41:54.000 Wooden duck.

00:41:55.000 There was some that was ultra-realistic, like they had the green head and everything, and then there was ones that were just all brown that weren't painted and stuff, but I have like 20 of them.

00:42:02.000 I don't know why.

00:42:03.000 That's hilarious.

00:42:04.000 Dude, you got wooden ducks.

00:42:06.000 They're probably valuable.

00:42:07.000 Not those.

00:42:07.000 Oh, the roller ones are for babies, dude.

00:42:10.000 It's not a baby.

00:42:11.000 Do you know what I'm talking about, though?

00:42:12.000 Was that a thing, or is that just like a... 1.00

00:42:15.000 Like a stupid redneck thing or something. 1.00

00:42:17.000 I'm sure there's like wooden, stupid wooden toys that I remember when I was a boy. 1.00

00:42:22.000 Here's the argument though. 0.99

00:42:23.000 It's the argument that it gave us more room for creativity when we were kids because we were playing with these stupid toys that really didn't do much so we had to do it all in our own head instead of being like overwhelmed by a video game. 0.97

00:42:37.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.98

00:42:38.000 That.

00:42:38.000 That's what it is.

00:42:39.000 Oh, that's a decoy, bro.

00:42:41.000 That's actually like a well-done decoy.

00:42:45.000 What that is, is they use those when they hunt ducks. 1.00

00:42:47.000 They put that shit in the water. 1.00

00:42:49.000 Oh, that's weird. 1.00

00:42:50.000 Well, this had like a...

00:42:51.000 Well, maybe they did, but this had like real feathers.

00:42:53.000 Yeah, like this stuff.

00:42:54.000 You'd put it on your fireplace.

00:42:55.000 Okay.

00:42:56.000 Well, that's because people use them for decorations, too.

00:42:59.000 Oh, that's just redneck. 1.00

00:43:00.000 No, no, no.

00:43:01.000 Some of them are beautiful.

00:43:03.000 What they started out...

00:43:04.000 See, when you call it a decoy, it's just because it's the exact same shape as a decoy.

00:43:10.000 It might not ever see the water.

00:43:12.000 But what those were originally is people trying to make ducks that looked exactly like a duck so you could float it on the pond and the ducks would fly over and go, oh, these ducks are just hanging out here.

00:43:22.000 This is a cool spot.

00:43:23.000 And they land and you blast them.

00:43:25.000 I mean, that's what Duck Dynasty is all about.

00:43:28.000 That is a show and an empire built on duck slaughter! 0.99

00:43:33.000 Trickery and fuckery. 0.99

00:43:34.000 That's what they should rename Duck Dynasty. 0.99

00:43:37.000 Trickery and fuckery. 0.99

00:43:38.000 Because they're tricking those ducks and just blowing them out of the sky. 0.99

00:43:42.000 But because people got really good at it, they started doing it as art.

00:43:45.000 Like some of them are just art.

00:43:47.000 Like people like grandma type people have them on their mantelpiece.

00:43:51.000 I love this.

00:43:52.000 I love this.

00:43:53.000 I love what it represents.

00:43:55.000 It's beautiful.

00:43:56.000 Yeah, I got a lot of them if you wanted.

00:44:02.000 No, I'm not into that. 0.99

00:44:05.000 It's funny because my mom is like, Brian, I want to throw away all this shit. 0.99

00:44:09.000 And I was like, Mom, you have a basement. 0.99

00:44:11.000 It's like, why bother throwing it away?

00:44:14.000 You don't need more room.

00:44:15.000 You barely even go in your basement. 0.99

00:44:17.000 And she's just telling me all this shit that I have there that I completely forgot. 0.98

00:44:21.000 I have a brand new Laserdisc player back home. 0.98

00:44:23.000 I have Laserdiscs.

00:44:26.000 Yeah, Laserdisc.

00:44:27.000 Isn't it funny that some things get to a certain point?

00:44:29.000 Like if you hang on to that Laserdisc, maybe it'll be one day like that tuba with a needle on it that you drop down on the records.

00:44:35.000 You know? 1.00

00:44:36.000 Because that shit is dope now. 1.00

00:44:37.000 If you had one of those, if you had one of those old school like 1903 tuba things, you know what I mean? 1.00

00:44:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:44:44.000 It was like, it was non-mechanical.

00:44:46.000 Or not electrical.

00:44:47.000 You turn the handle.

00:44:48.000 I think so.

00:44:49.000 Right.

00:44:49.000 The record player with the speaker shell.

00:44:52.000 Yeah.

00:44:53.000 Yeah.

00:44:53.000 There was like a...

00:44:55.000 Like the needle was attached to like a thing that looked like a musical instrument.

00:45:00.000 Phonograph.

00:45:01.000 Yeah.

00:45:02.000 Phonograph.

00:45:02.000 It's called a phonograph?

00:45:03.000 Yeah.

00:45:04.000 Is there a video of that thing?

00:45:05.000 Oh, for sure.

00:45:06.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:45:07.000 Yeah, pull up a video of that thing.

00:45:08.000 Because I haven't even thought of that thing.

00:45:10.000 And...

00:45:11.000 Do you watch Antique Roadshow, by chance?

00:45:12.000 Probably, like, ten years.

00:45:14.000 No!

00:45:15.000 I just...

00:45:16.000 I forgot those things were real at one point in time.

00:45:18.000 It's like one of those things where you go back to, like, the history of stuff, and you go, oh, yeah...

00:45:23.000 This is even showing, I tried to tell you about this before, this is what they used before records, the Edison Cylinder.

00:45:30.000 Right, that's right, you did tell me about this.

00:45:33.000 And this is just a metal, like, yeah, it's like a kid's toy nowadays.

00:45:38.000 Yeah, but God, that'd be so valuable if you had that in your house.

00:45:41.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:45:42.000 Like, if you had that in your mom's house, and you fished that out one day, you'd be like, holy shit. 0.99

00:45:48.000 Especially if it said Edison on it like that. 0.95

00:45:49.000 Well, dude, that LaserDisc recorder, as goofy as it seems now, there's gonna come a time where it's not goofy anymore.

00:45:56.000 I know, it's going to make a comeback, and we're all going to be watching.

00:45:59.000 No, it's not going to make a comeback, but it's going to be interesting. 0.72

00:46:02.000 It's going to be like, whoa, look at this fucking thing from 1999, where they had these silver discs.

00:46:09.000 Check this out, this is earlier this year, in July, the last VCR got made. 0.97

00:46:13.000 Wow.

00:46:14.000 Until they start making them again, because someone's going to realize it can make a shitload of money, but...

00:46:18.000 How weird, man.

00:46:19.000 About five years ago, I bought a VCR just because I was like, you know what?

00:46:22.000 This is on its way out.

00:46:24.000 I have tons of VHS tapes, so I'm just going to buy it.

00:46:27.000 They're $29 on Amazon.

00:46:28.000 So I bought one, and it's so light nowadays.

00:46:31.000 The technology is so basic.

00:46:33.000 You could just put it on one finger easily.

00:46:36.000 Really?

00:46:36.000 Yeah.

00:46:36.000 It's ridiculous how light it is.

00:46:38.000 It feels cheap.

00:46:39.000 The only one on Amazon now costs $180. 1.00

00:46:42.000 Whoa, fuck you. 1.00

00:46:43.000 That is a DVD player. 1.00

00:46:45.000 Well, it's the only one you can get, though.

00:46:47.000 You gotta get one that's both?

00:46:48.000 Yeah.

00:46:48.000 Yeah, well, maybe it's telling you.

00:46:50.000 Is it the other one a DVR? No, just a DVD. Like, what is a good price for a VHS player?

00:46:59.000 It used to be like $50, $60, maybe?

00:47:01.000 Yeah, they got down to like $29 to $39.

00:47:04.000 But look at these companies that make them, like Phonan.

00:47:06.000 Have you even heard of that?

00:47:08.000 You know?

00:47:09.000 So, did you hear about that thing that they were doing?

00:47:13.000 I've been paying more attention to this now, trying to figure out what a lot of this was.

00:47:17.000 There was a story that Eddie Bravo actually told me about it first, where the Pentagon was making fake Al-Qaeda videos and fake ISIS videos.

00:47:31.000 There was this documentary about this, or not a documentary, but this video online about the company that was involved in making these things.

00:47:40.000 It's crazy, dude.

00:47:42.000 It's a crazy story.

00:47:43.000 Come in for a meeting.

00:47:43.000 Like, who am I meeting with?

00:47:44.000 Have a seat.

00:47:45.000 Okay, you got the job.

00:47:46.000 You're going to Iraq. 0.99

00:47:47.000 They fucking ship this guy off. 0.99

00:47:49.000 It's really interesting. 0.99

00:47:50.000 Like, this guy talking about...

00:47:51.000 Being recruited to create these propaganda films for the U.S. government.

00:47:56.000 And what they were was, see, everybody goes, oh my God, the U.S. government's lying to us.

00:48:00.000 Yeah, definitely not good to have these videos that we think are Al-Qaeda but are actually CIA or whoever it is that's doing these things for this propaganda firm.

00:48:11.000 But what's interesting is what they did with it.

00:48:15.000 There was a thing called RealPlayer.

00:48:17.000 You remember RealPlayer?

00:48:18.000 They only streamed it through RealPlayer.

00:48:20.000 So people would go to it, they would stream it, and they would get their IP. And they would know where they were.

00:48:25.000 And so they would know where people who were All grouping up in these radical factions, these radical groups, and they would be able to isolate them to a certain extent because of that, or at least isolate their location.

00:48:43.000 Which is really interesting, right?

00:48:45.000 It's really interesting.

00:48:47.000 Because there's another thing that someone was telling me, and I had never considered this. 0.95

00:48:52.000 I forget who fucking said this. 0.78

00:48:53.000 I want to say it's on the message board. 0.98

00:48:55.000 But they were talking about all the different factions that were sort of put together to become ISIS, and that they weren't even really necessarily against or together with each other. 0.99

00:49:06.000 You know, there was Boko Haram, there's the Taliban, there's Al-Qaeda, there's ISIS, there's all these different people, but they just sort of lump all these groups in together, like, we're fighting those fuckers! 0.99

00:49:18.000 Everybody! 0.99

00:49:20.000 We think of them as an organized group.

00:49:22.000 Like they got together and said, you know what?

00:49:24.000 We got to get together and organize a group and put together our powers.

00:49:28.000 And no, they're basically on each other's sides.

00:49:31.000 Like the whole thing is like just a giant group of people that don't like U.S. foreign policy.

00:49:37.000 And we sort of call them whatever we want to call them.

00:49:40.000 Some of them are ISIS and some of them are Al-Qaeda and some of them are Taliban and some of them are what they used to be the Mujahideen.

00:49:49.000 It's crazy, right?

00:49:50.000 Yeah.

00:49:50.000 Did you watch the debates?

00:49:51.000 Uh-huh.

00:49:52.000 The funniest thing on Twitter is the hashtag Muslims reporting, whatever Trump says, like the Muslims need to report things.

00:50:00.000 So there's a hashtag of just Muslims reporting things.

00:50:04.000 Wow. 1.00

00:50:05.000 But it's all shit like I fired in and a little poop came out. 1.00

00:50:09.000 Muslims report things, you know? 1.00

00:50:11.000 Oh, God.

00:50:12.000 It's hilarious.

00:50:13.000 So they just took over that hashtag? 0.93

00:50:15.000 Yeah, they actually made it, because it is pretty ridiculous. 0.71

00:50:19.000 That's when he said that.

00:50:20.000 So now they're just taking advantage of it to make it funny.

00:50:23.000 And it's hilarious to read.

00:50:25.000 Oh, Muslims report stuff. 1.00

00:50:27.000 Hashtag.

00:50:28.000 Dude, it doesn't even seem real.

00:50:31.000 It really doesn't.

00:50:33.000 I watched the debate and I was like, it's so strange to watch that this is their choice.

00:50:39.000 This is our choice of who gets to be president.

00:50:42.000 It's like, what happened here?

00:50:45.000 I got really freaked out when he was hovering over her.

00:50:48.000 I don't know what triggered something in me.

00:50:50.000 I was like, get away from her!

00:50:51.000 Let her talk! 1.00

00:50:53.000 He's a big, powerful man.

00:50:55.000 He's a big, looming, powerful, successful, rich man.

00:51:01.000 It scares everybody.

00:51:04.000 Him hovering over her in that debate, the whole thing was bizarre.

00:51:08.000 It's really bizarre talking to people that watch the same program as you with completely different eyes.

00:51:14.000 Like, I'm in fights with family members over us.

00:51:17.000 Did you not watch what I watched?

00:51:19.000 I've been tuning to Fox News nonstop.

00:51:22.000 That's all I've been watching. 0.99

00:51:23.000 It's so interesting to see how people just fucking form teams, man. 0.99

00:51:30.000 They just form teams. 0.99

00:51:33.000 They go right or they go left. 0.99

00:51:36.000 But they form a team and then they write shit that doesn't necessarily make sense, but it fits within the narrative of their team winning. 0.98

00:51:44.000 And they duke it out back and forth with each other. 0.99

00:51:46.000 There's a bunch of people that were talking with big smiles about how great Trump came away from that debate.

00:51:52.000 He had one good line.

00:51:54.000 You'd be in jail.

00:51:56.000 That was a good line.

00:51:57.000 Because you'd be in jail.

00:52:00.000 That was a good line.

00:52:01.000 He got her there. 0.99

00:52:02.000 I mean, that was a fucking nice quick one. 0.99

00:52:04.000 Got in, got out, boom, knockout blow. 0.99

00:52:08.000 But the debate itself, man.

00:52:11.000 And then when he kept on saying like, hey, you know, she did her time interrupting.

00:52:15.000 While interrupting, he interrupted more and took more time to answer questions.

00:52:19.000 It was like, what world is he living in?

00:52:23.000 He's a strange guy.

00:52:24.000 I hate politics.

00:52:25.000 I hate both of them, but... 0.98

00:52:27.000 It's really interesting seeing how gross... 0.98

00:52:29.000 I feel bad for Billy Bush.

00:52:31.000 I think a lot's going to come out on him now that he's under the microscope.

00:52:35.000 Let me ask you this.

00:52:36.000 Why does there have to be moderators? 0.99

00:52:38.000 Wouldn't it be better to watch the two of them sit down and talk?

00:52:43.000 This is what I think.

00:52:44.000 Get Hillary Clinton... 0.99

00:52:46.000 And Donald Trump, sit them in a room together across a nice table like this, put a camera on the both of them, and let them have a conversation, and let's find out what they're really all about.

00:52:58.000 You know, because everyone's doing, they're broadcasting to you.

00:53:02.000 Everyone's broadcasting to you, including me right now, which is very ironic.

00:53:06.000 But everyone, that's what they're doing.

00:53:07.000 They're broadcasting.

00:53:09.000 But don't you think Donald Trump would overpower her so she can't even talk? 0.71

00:53:13.000 We'll learn a lot about him if he does that.

00:53:15.000 We'll learn a lot about him if he does that.

00:53:16.000 And I bet she'll be able to manipulate that and make him look really bad.

00:53:21.000 I think you get them together, the moderators, asking him to answer questions, telling her the time is up and all this different jazz.

00:53:28.000 That's an added element.

00:53:30.000 Why am I not talking to her?

00:53:32.000 Okay, I can't.

00:53:33.000 Well, I'm not there.

00:53:34.000 Okay.

00:53:35.000 Well, why doesn't he talk to her?

00:53:36.000 Let's find out what they think about each other.

00:53:38.000 Let's let them...

00:53:39.000 Why are you going to do it better than me?

00:53:41.000 Tell me. 0.95

00:53:43.000 You know, why does it have to be fucking bitter, dire enemies every time two people are running for the same position? 0.93

00:53:51.000 Can't they recognize that without competition, you know, this is allegedly not the best we can do, right? 0.91

00:53:57.000 I think most people think, well, we probably can find a few scientists or doctors or whatever that might do a better job than those two at running the country, but whatever.

00:54:05.000 Just put that aside.

00:54:08.000 Is that the best?

00:54:10.000 Do you think this is the best?

00:54:11.000 There's no way, right?

00:54:13.000 No way.

00:54:17.000 It just doesn't seem real.

00:54:19.000 Even discussing it, I lose my train of thought because I can't believe we're actually sitting here talking about this. 0.98

00:54:27.000 But whatever people do, man, they get on a team, and they fucking wave that flag.

00:54:33.000 And if it's the team of the right or the team of the left, there's a few people that sort of dangle in between the middles. 0.90

00:54:38.000 It's like if you had big giant piles of ants, and then there was like a little trail in between those piles of ants that was like kind of thinned out, and then the pile would be on the left-hand side, and the pile would be on the right-hand side.

00:54:52.000 There's a few people that are in the middle.

00:54:53.000 There's a few people that are walking back and forth in the middle.

00:54:56.000 They don't know which way to go. 1.00

00:54:58.000 But the vast majority, they get on a fucking pile, and they decide, fucking Second Amendment! 1.00

00:55:03.000 Or they, you know, they decide, whatever it is, whatever they decide. 1.00

00:55:07.000 You know, Fourth Amendment! 1.00

00:55:09.000 You know, Freedom of Speech!

00:55:10.000 Whatever it is they ride with.

00:55:13.000 Yep, it's like Apple, PC, Samsung, you know, it's like, it's that whole thing.

00:55:19.000 Transgender rights!

00:55:21.000 What do you think the chances this happens again in 2020 are?

00:55:24.000 I don't know.

00:55:26.000 No, it's big Kanye versus Trump in 2020. It's gonna be worse.

00:55:30.000 This is not getting better.

00:55:31.000 Kanye could win.

00:55:32.000 He could win.

00:55:34.000 I can't take it.

00:55:35.000 He could win. 1.00

00:55:36.000 Can you imagine having years of Kanye, like, Trump shit? 1.00

00:55:41.000 He'll win for eight years in a row. 1.00

00:55:43.000 I would throw my TV out.

00:55:44.000 They could have a new election every year.

00:55:46.000 He'd keep winning.

00:55:51.000 Just so people can say President Kanye.

00:55:54.000 Hey man, is it that bad?

00:55:56.000 I mean, what are we getting into right now?

00:56:00.000 This is bananas.

00:56:03.000 It doesn't seem real.

00:56:05.000 I mean, I really am feeling more and more every day like we're living in a simulation.

00:56:10.000 And that the simulation is revealing itself to us.

00:56:13.000 100%. 1.00

00:56:14.000 A guy named Wiener can't stop showing his dick. 1.00

00:56:16.000 Really? 1.00

00:56:17.000 How obvious is this goddamn script? 1.00

00:56:19.000 100%. 1.00

00:56:19.000 Who's writing this? 1.00

00:56:22.000 It's Eddie Bravo.

00:56:24.000 It's like a 1990s sitcom.

00:56:26.000 Eddie Bravo isn't controlling us.

00:56:28.000 They had Corey Feldman back on the Today Show.

00:56:30.000 Of course they did.

00:56:31.000 Dressed all in gold.

00:56:32.000 He did another crazy performance.

00:56:35.000 He was talking about America and then he accidentally threw a flag on the ground. 0.99

00:56:39.000 Corey Feldman loses his damn mind again with another Today performance. 0.99

00:56:43.000 Well, hey man, that's how he's staying relevant. 0.99

00:56:45.000 He banned me off Twitter after I talked about him last time we talked about him on here.

00:56:50.000 He blocked you, you mean?

00:56:51.000 He blocked me.

00:56:52.000 Did he block you?

00:56:53.000 I don't know.

00:56:53.000 I won't check Corey Feldman's Twitter page ever.

00:56:57.000 Ever.

00:56:58.000 But I'm sure he's a good guy.

00:56:59.000 This is what I'm giving him out here.

00:57:01.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:57:03.000 I'm saying he's just being super outrageous in order to get attention.

00:57:06.000 It's smart.

00:57:07.000 Because otherwise they're not going to pay attention. 0.99

00:57:09.000 It's fucking hard for a guy that's been in movies and had a lot of shit going on that it all kind of goes away. 0.99

00:57:14.000 And he's just trying to do it himself. 0.99

00:57:16.000 He's trying to figure out some way.

00:57:19.000 Some way to stay an entertainer.

00:57:21.000 I get it.

00:57:21.000 Nothing wrong with it.

00:57:22.000 It's weird.

00:57:23.000 He's doing weird stuff.

00:57:25.000 But I get it.

00:57:26.000 I mean, look, we're talking about him.

00:57:27.000 Because he's doing weird stuff.

00:57:28.000 He does questionable things, though.

00:57:29.000 Do you think that it's on purpose weird?

00:57:32.000 Or do you think he's just a weird dude and that's the kind of art he likes to make? 0.67

00:57:35.000 I mean, the whole Feldman angel thing really is gross and creepy and awful.

00:57:41.000 So I think he's just untalented.

00:57:43.000 And he thinks he's talented.

00:57:45.000 Like, he's that in denial.

00:57:48.000 Hmm.

00:57:49.000 Could be a grand Andy Kaufman-esque performance.

00:57:54.000 Could be, but if you've watched any...

00:57:55.000 Epic magnitude.

00:57:56.000 It's the album cover for his double disc that he's releasing.

00:57:59.000 Angelic to the core.

00:58:01.000 Hey, rock on, Corey Feldman.

00:58:03.000 We ain't hating on you, dude.

00:58:05.000 I'm not hating on you.

00:58:06.000 Look at the eraser tool around this.

00:58:08.000 Go have some fun.

00:58:09.000 That's what he likes, man.

00:58:11.000 He's at a party.

00:58:14.000 He sells like $20 videos or something like that.

00:58:17.000 If you pay him PayPal him $20, he'll be like, he'll read something for you.

00:58:21.000 Oh.

00:58:22.000 And he does it in characters like when he was in Lost Boys who has the same jacket on and stuff like that.

00:58:26.000 That's hilarious.

00:58:28.000 That's hilarious.

00:58:29.000 I forget which comic.

00:58:30.000 There's one of our buddies just spends like $20 a week just getting a new video.

00:58:34.000 Yeah.

00:58:37.000 Well, that's probably a smart way to make money. 0.99

00:58:40.000 I bet he can churn out fucking dozens of those in an hour, right? 0.99

00:58:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:58:44.000 If he's just doing that... 0.99

00:58:47.000 That's just reminding me of the story I've been hearing recently.

00:58:49.000 You know, all the Comic-Con conventions, there's not just one now, there's multiple.

00:58:54.000 They're all over the country.

00:58:55.000 Right.

00:58:55.000 And they have old TV stars come in to be on them.

00:58:59.000 They're making, from what I heard, hundreds of thousands of dollars...

00:59:13.000 Wow.

00:59:14.000 I can give you an example.

00:59:28.000 Well, I've said this before on the podcast when I saw Daisy Duke, the girl that played Daisy Duke at a comic convention, and she was just sitting there.

00:59:37.000 Katherine Bach?

00:59:37.000 Yeah, she was just sitting there by herself.

00:59:39.000 No one knew who she was, just sitting there. 0.99

00:59:41.000 And then I'm like, holy shit, Daisy Duke's just sitting there. 0.96

00:59:44.000 And so I came up and was like, oh, can I get a picture? 0.98

00:59:45.000 And she's like, sure, it's going to be 20 bucks. 0.51

00:59:47.000 And so she was just making money. 0.86

00:59:49.000 I had to use my own camera, but she was charging 20 bucks just for me to take a picture with her. 0.99

00:59:53.000 Whoa.

00:59:54.000 Yeah, so it was pretty sad.

00:59:56.000 I just saw that... 0.98

00:59:57.000 That's fucking weird, man. 0.99

00:59:59.000 That's a weird practice, right? 0.99

01:00:01.000 It is.

01:00:01.000 It's gross.

01:00:02.000 The guy who played Thor would earn a little over $350,000 in a weekend.

01:00:08.000 Robert Downey Jr. would make about $1.5 million for his appearance at Comic-Con.

01:00:12.000 And then it goes down to say how much...

01:00:15.000 An autograph from John Kustak was like $70.

01:00:19.000 But he's probably not there.

01:00:21.000 So wait a minute.

01:00:22.000 So these guys go there and take pictures with people for money?

01:00:26.000 Yeah.

01:00:28.000 Ralph Macchio cost $40 for a photo op.

01:00:31.000 Ugh.

01:00:31.000 But his co-star, C. Thomas Howell.

01:00:33.000 What were the ones you were saying in the millions?

01:00:35.000 You said Robert Downey Jr.?

01:00:37.000 Yeah.

01:00:38.000 Robert Downey Jr. takes pictures of people for money?

01:00:40.000 Yeah, he's probably not doing that, but that's for him to show up just at the event.

01:00:43.000 Oh, that's his price.

01:00:45.000 So just to get him to show up?

01:00:47.000 And be in the main hall to say, like, hey, here's the new Avengers trailer.

01:00:51.000 Oh my goodness.

01:00:52.000 That's insane.

01:00:53.000 How baller is that guy?

01:00:54.000 What?

01:00:57.000 That's insane.

01:00:58.000 That's a lot of money, man. 1.00

01:01:00.000 Goddamn. 0.99

01:01:00.000 Just to show up. 0.99

01:01:01.000 Hey, dude, just come to my thing and I'll give you a million bucks.

01:01:04.000 That's awesome.

01:01:04.000 Okay, but I'm only talking a couple lines.

01:01:06.000 Okay, good, good, good.

01:01:08.000 It's cool.

01:01:09.000 Just smile.

01:01:09.000 It costs like $200 for a ticket for the weekend just to go to Comic-Con.

01:01:13.000 Just to hang out with everyone.

01:01:14.000 That's pretty much what Paris Hilton does nowadays. 0.96

01:01:16.000 She just makes appearances and gets shitloads of cash, buys nude puppies for $10,000. 1.00

01:01:22.000 Yeah, appearances are big, right?

01:01:24.000 It's like the way people who don't have an act perform.

01:01:27.000 They show up.

01:01:28.000 I'm here.

01:01:29.000 Like just being there is your performance.

01:01:31.000 And now she's a DJ. She literally just presses play and just waves her arms around for like an hour and that's it. 0.99

01:01:38.000 It's good.

01:01:39.000 She probably has someone else do it for her. 1.00

01:01:41.000 Like someone else concocts the music or does she concoct her own music?

01:01:45.000 She just gets a CD and she presses play and turns knobs here and there to make it look like she's doing some typical DJ stuff nowadays.

01:01:54.000 Russell Peters would get angry.

01:01:55.000 He doesn't call that DJing.

01:01:57.000 Oh yeah, I know.

01:01:58.000 Russell gets furious.

01:02:00.000 I've heard some of the bigger DJs that are making money in Vegas, they have two fees for an event like that.

01:02:05.000 They have a press play fee, and then they have an actual I'll perform and mix songs fee.

01:02:09.000 Oh, that makes sense.

01:02:10.000 Both really expensive.

01:02:11.000 That makes sense.

01:02:11.000 I would like to do that at a comedy show.

01:02:13.000 I have one fee where I just stand there in front of a tape recorder, and I go like this while my jokes play.

01:02:19.000 That would be hilarious.

01:02:22.000 I pause.

01:02:23.000 I do my whole act like that.

01:02:24.000 They got another fever.

01:02:25.000 I actually do the stand-up.

01:02:27.000 That's cool.

01:02:28.000 That's so rude.

01:02:30.000 Have you ever ate one of the hottest peppers in the world?

01:02:33.000 Like any of those peppers?

01:02:34.000 Would you ever eat one of those peppers?

01:02:37.000 I'd probably try it just to see what the fuss is all about.

01:02:40.000 But I've had some...

01:02:41.000 There used to be a place in Encino called Chili My Soul. 0.97

01:02:46.000 And it was this, like, super awesome fucking chili place that had, like, the most legit chili. 0.99

01:02:52.000 Like, they had mild chili, where it didn't fuck with you at all, but then at the top end of the scale, they had, like, some Himalayan death shit. 0.99

01:03:00.000 They had some chili that you couldn't even fucking believe a person could eat it. 0.99

01:03:04.000 And I never even tried 10. They have a 10, apparently. 0.94

01:03:07.000 They had a 10. But I did try a 9 once.

01:03:10.000 And they give you, this is how strong the chili is, they give it to you in like a thimble, and I'm not fucking joking. 0.98

01:03:16.000 It's like a little tiny cup that you would get ketchup at at a shitty diner. 0.96

01:03:20.000 Those little tiny ones, that's what they give you the chili. 1.00

01:03:23.000 And I put it in my mouth and immediately start hiccuping.

01:03:28.000 Like my body's like freaking out.

01:03:30.000 Tears are pouring down my face.

01:03:33.000 My snot's pouring out of my nose.

01:03:36.000 And that was like a tiny little bite of this stuff. 1.00

01:03:38.000 I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:03:39.000 My whole tongue was numb. 1.00

01:03:41.000 I was like, whoa!

01:03:42.000 The YouTube videos are like ghost peppers.

01:03:44.000 I highly recommend just sitting there and watching this.

01:03:46.000 One of my favorite shows is called Hot Ones.

01:03:49.000 It's like, I want to do this show so bad.

01:03:51.000 I don't know if you've seen it where this guy...

01:03:54.000 Answers 10 questions.

01:03:56.000 And each one you start off at like tapatio.

01:03:59.000 Then it gets hotter, each chicken wing.

01:04:01.000 So each one, you take a bite of a chicken wing, and then he'll ask you a question.

01:04:06.000 And it starts off to see if you could get all the way to the end.

01:04:09.000 And the end is like the hottest one.

01:04:10.000 So it's really interesting to see who can do it and who can't.

01:04:14.000 You think it's genetic?

01:04:16.000 I don't know.

01:04:17.000 Tommy Chung did it.

01:04:18.000 He did it?

01:04:19.000 All the way?

01:04:20.000 I think there was some shenanigans.

01:04:23.000 Oh, dear.

01:04:23.000 The first three, even the Tapatio one, he goes, oh, this is hot.

01:04:27.000 But then he gets to the end.

01:04:28.000 He wasn't breaking a sweat where other people are gagging about to die.

01:04:32.000 It's Mexican, though.

01:04:32.000 No, it's Japanese.

01:04:34.000 Whatever. 1.00

01:04:34.000 Eddie Wong couldn't handle that hot shit. 1.00

01:04:36.000 He went for it first and almost started barfing. 1.00

01:04:38.000 He ate the hot one first and then he touched his dick with it. 1.00

01:04:41.000 Oh, holla! 1.00

01:04:43.000 Anyways, Burt Kreischer did one of my favorite episodes.

01:04:46.000 Shout out to Hot Ones. 1.00

01:04:47.000 So, Jamie just pulled this up while we were talking.

01:04:50.000 This guy does a bong rip with a Carolina Reaper.

01:04:53.000 A Carolina Reaper is apparently the top of the food chain when it comes to the hot peppers. 0.93

01:04:58.000 One of them, yeah.

01:04:59.000 They say it's the hottest.

01:05:00.000 Is it?

01:05:01.000 I thought it was that other one, but I think I read recently, yeah.

01:05:05.000 I think I read recently that Carolina Reaper's the hottest.

01:05:08.000 See, I want to know, would that really do anything, though?

01:05:11.000 You're burning it, you know?

01:05:12.000 I don't know if that would actually... 1.00

01:05:14.000 This might be a fucking bullshit. 1.00

01:05:17.000 What is he doing? 1.00

01:05:18.000 It's just a gif of exactly what happens to me the second after he takes the hit.

01:05:23.000 It's like three minutes of him coughing and snot starts flying out of his nose.

01:05:26.000 Oh, let's watch. 1.00

01:05:28.000 Shit. 1.00

01:05:29.000 That's... 1.00

01:05:31.000 Do we have something better to do?

01:05:34.000 I don't think this is...

01:05:35.000 Go full screen, please.

01:05:38.000 Don't let anybody see it.

01:05:40.000 So this guy's got the Carolina Reaper.

01:05:43.000 Here's, if you want to watch it online, Ted Barris bong rips the Carolina Reaper.

01:05:48.000 And then, uh, asterisk puke warning.

01:05:52.000 Original video.

01:05:54.000 Here he goes.

01:05:54.000 This guy's just telling you.

01:05:55.000 I thought I'm gonna fucking take a Carolina Reaper. 0.98

01:05:57.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.98

01:05:58.000 And I'm gonna bong rip one.

01:05:59.000 Oh, my goodness.

01:06:00.000 I don't think that would do anything.

01:06:02.000 Let's try it.

01:06:03.000 Find out. 1.00

01:06:03.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:06:04.000 Let us know. 1.00

01:06:05.000 I am a professional, though, when it comes to bong rips. 0.98

01:06:08.000 I'm a bud tender, so, uh...

01:06:10.000 Bud tender.

01:06:11.000 Bud tender.

01:06:11.000 Ew.

01:06:12.000 Don't say that again.

01:06:15.000 Bud tender?

01:06:16.000 Come on.

01:06:17.000 Is that what they're calling them now?

01:06:19.000 That's like that barista at Starbucks. 0.99

01:06:22.000 I have issues with that.

01:06:23.000 It's like the guy at the restaurant that wants to get really fancy with the wines and explain to you...

01:06:27.000 The sommelier.

01:06:27.000 Yeah, the sommelier that wants to get really crazy and tell you what part of the world it's growing in, why the grapes are so important there.

01:06:35.000 I'm a bud tender. 0.95

01:06:36.000 Well, okay, this is going to give you that stony high.

01:06:39.000 The most important thing here is no more than three hits.

01:06:42.000 Dude, trust me.

01:06:44.000 I know you like to go deep.

01:06:46.000 Trust me.

01:06:46.000 Three hits and you're going to be beautiful.

01:06:48.000 It'll be mellow.

01:06:49.000 This is more like an earthy, nutty sort of a...

01:06:53.000 They always tell me, like, the girls are like, I always smoke this and I start cleaning my whole house. 1.00

01:06:56.000 It makes me so energetic. 1.00

01:06:57.000 Bitch, you ain't cleaning your own ass. 1.00

01:07:00.000 Liar. 1.00

01:07:01.000 There is definitely some weed I've had that makes me feel like cleaning my house. 1.00

01:07:06.000 Well, you just look around and you go, what am I doing with my fucking life? 0.99

01:07:09.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:07:10.000 Edibles do that to me.

01:07:11.000 Edibles freak me out, man.

01:07:13.000 I had a bad edible the other day.

01:07:15.000 Everybody does.

01:07:16.000 If you take edibles, you're going to have bad.

01:07:17.000 But the good side of those is almost every time I've had a bad one, I come out of it And I realized, like, whatever was bothering me, like whatever issues or whatever paranoia, whatever weirdness, I look at it from a different way.

01:07:33.000 I look at it in a better way.

01:07:35.000 Oh, here he is.

01:07:36.000 See, I don't believe this.

01:07:39.000 That's not real.

01:07:41.000 Bad acting.

01:07:43.000 Oh, he's gonna keep digging.

01:07:46.000 I don't know.

01:07:47.000 Have you ever hit some really harsh weed that just immediately tastes terrible?

01:07:50.000 Yeah, well, here's the thing, man.

01:07:51.000 We don't know that the oils from the pepper are transmitted in the air.

01:07:58.000 We really don't know.

01:07:59.000 And that looks like overacting from a hillbilly.

01:08:01.000 Maybe a little bit, but he's trying to get some views too.

01:08:04.000 He knows what he's doing with that, but it's still like...

01:08:06.000 No, man, he might be seriously experiencing the oils.

01:08:10.000 I mean, do you think the oils from the pepper, that's where the heat is?

01:08:13.000 You think he can carry in the smoke?

01:08:14.000 Must be, right?

01:08:15.000 Something. 1.00

01:08:16.000 If it can transmit just from your skin to your dick. 1.00

01:08:19.000 Right, of course. 1.00

01:08:20.000 That's a good point. 1.00

01:08:22.000 Yeah, this guy's fucked. 1.00

01:08:23.000 This is real, dude. 1.00

01:08:25.000 Maybe. 0.98

01:08:26.000 Yeah, I think this guy's fucksville. 0.72

01:08:28.000 It doesn't seem like a good idea, either way.

01:08:31.000 Anyway, watch this video.

01:08:32.000 Support it.

01:08:34.000 Give it a view, folks.

01:08:35.000 Don't go smoke in Carolina.

01:08:37.000 There's this one guy that does it at Vegas.

01:08:41.000 He, like, walks around on the streets in Vegas and goes, Hey, you know, will you eat one of these peppers?

01:08:45.000 It's the hottest peppers.

01:08:46.000 I mean, you can eat it.

01:08:46.000 I'll give you 20 bucks.

01:08:47.000 And it's just destroying people's lives here, like families.

01:08:51.000 Like, I'll do it for 20 bucks.

01:08:53.000 I'd like a little hot spicy pepper.

01:08:55.000 You know, but they're eating, like, those peppers and just, like, puking and crying.

01:09:00.000 Is it toxic?

01:09:02.000 It's not...

01:09:03.000 You could probably get sued for...

01:09:05.000 Yeah, but I mean, is it toxic to the person?

01:09:08.000 I mean, is a person eating a Carolina Reaper, is that toxic?

01:09:11.000 This is the guy.

01:09:11.000 What is it?

01:09:12.000 What does it say there?

01:09:14.000 Paying people to eat the world's house. 1.00

01:09:16.000 This guy's a complete asshole, too. 1.00

01:09:20.000 Well, I think you have to be if you're having people eat the world's hottest pepper. 1.00

01:09:24.000 He's holding this guy's... 0.98

01:09:26.000 At the end of this video, he acts like such a dick to this chick that made me hate this guy. 1.00

01:09:32.000 He's like a prick. 1.00

01:09:34.000 I think I've seen another video of his. 1.00

01:09:35.000 He's a prankster that does stiff on the street in the strip in Vegas.

01:09:39.000 He might be getting away with that.

01:09:41.000 Can't you do...

01:09:42.000 You can do things in Vegas.

01:09:43.000 Yeah, that's why...

01:09:45.000 What was the Comedy Central show?

01:09:47.000 Crank Yankers. 1.00

01:09:48.000 We don't have to see people throw up anymore.

01:09:50.000 Yeah.

01:09:51.000 Crank Yankers. 1.00

01:09:51.000 Yeah, Crank Yankers. 1.00

01:09:53.000 Yeah, they used to do that in Vegas because you could just call people up.

01:09:59.000 Yeah, that's the problem with TV nowadays is half these shows are like that, but they're all...

01:10:03.000 Like, there's a show.

01:10:04.000 I don't want to say what it is. 0.99

01:10:05.000 I don't want to say what network it is on because people hate me so much when I talk shit on this network. 0.96

01:10:09.000 But this show is a prank show where they pay all the people in it so that all the people that are getting pranked know they're getting pranked, but they sell it as a real show and it drives me crazy. 0.97

01:10:19.000 Well, how do you know they know they're getting pranked before the prank happens?

01:10:22.000 Because I know somebody that...

01:10:24.000 Did it, let's just say.

01:10:25.000 He got paid to be a, okay, so we're going to come in here, we're going to make a fart sound, and you're going to, you know, like...

01:10:32.000 Really?

01:10:32.000 Yeah, and it's on a channel that's...

01:10:34.000 Yeah.

01:10:35.000 Huh. 1.00

01:10:37.000 I just hate that shit. 1.00

01:10:39.000 How do they get away with that? 1.00

01:10:41.000 Do they say it's a scripted show?

01:10:42.000 Do they say written by...

01:10:44.000 I don't know.

01:10:45.000 Probably.

01:10:46.000 Probably.

01:10:47.000 Or do you think they just hope that...

01:10:48.000 Well, is it...

01:10:49.000 Like, here's the question, right?

01:10:51.000 Is that different than, like...

01:10:53.000 See, that's a prank.

01:10:54.000 A prank is almost like a sketch, right?

01:10:57.000 So if you have a set-up sketch like that, that's a bigger deception than a reality show...

01:11:07.000 Where you already know what you're going to do during that day, right?

01:11:10.000 Right.

01:11:11.000 Like, what's a reality show?

01:11:12.000 Like, oh, we're all going to go to the football game, you know, my son's playing football, today's his big day, and all the cameras are there, yay, go Mickey, and everybody cheers.

01:11:22.000 Like, they know that they were going to do that, but it is at least technically like a real thing you can do.

01:11:29.000 It's a real thing, meaning they were going to do it if the cameras were there or not.

01:11:32.000 Exactly.

01:11:33.000 But they know the cameras are there.

01:11:35.000 Yes.

01:11:35.000 So I consider that, like, duh, they know the cameras are there.

01:11:39.000 I've accepted this.

01:11:40.000 But it's real.

01:11:41.000 One of my favorite shows is The Prophet.

01:11:43.000 Yeah, but it's a lie, though.

01:11:45.000 All of it is a lie.

01:11:46.000 It's different than the other thing.

01:11:48.000 The other thing is, like, they're going to the game.

01:11:49.000 Yay, yay, we're cheering.

01:11:50.000 We're aware of the cameras.

01:11:51.000 We're acting aware because of it.

01:11:52.000 But the other one, you're pretending that you didn't know that that fart sound was playing.

01:11:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:58.000 It's like it's not really acting Like, you're being deceptive.

01:12:03.000 Yeah.

01:12:03.000 This is deceptive.

01:12:04.000 Right.

01:12:05.000 Like, it's not...

01:12:06.000 You guys aren't doing a sketch about a prank show.

01:12:09.000 You're doing an actual prank show.

01:12:11.000 Right.

01:12:12.000 The only one reason to watch an actual prank show is to see people legitimately get, what?

01:12:17.000 What do you mean?

01:12:18.000 What is that?

01:12:19.000 People come up to people, and a lot of people act in weird ways.

01:12:23.000 You've ever had someone come up to you, and you don't know who they are, and they touch you, and they've got their hands on you, and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, who are you?

01:12:28.000 What's this?

01:12:29.000 Yes.

01:12:29.000 What's going on?

01:12:31.000 So people get weird and defensive.

01:12:32.000 Like, that's a real prank show.

01:12:34.000 That's why, like, Ali G, in his prime, and that Ali G character, some of the all-time best prank interviews ever. 0.99

01:12:45.000 I mean, some of his shit was fucking hilarious. 0.97

01:12:48.000 Now, could you imagine if you found out that those people on the other side were in on it? 1.00

01:12:55.000 Like, remember, didn't he do one with Ron Paul?

01:12:58.000 Mm-hmm.

01:12:59.000 He did one with Buzz Aldrin.

01:13:01.000 Yeah.

01:13:02.000 How do you tell if the moon is made out of cheese?

01:13:06.000 I forgot about that. 1.00

01:13:09.000 He had a bunch of ridiculous fucking interviews with people where they had no idea. 0.99

01:13:15.000 They thought he was a guy from an MTV show that had come to do interviews with him. 1.00

01:13:20.000 Check it!

01:13:21.000 He was the best!

01:13:22.000 He was the best!

01:13:23.000 If you found out those were all fraudulent, Wouldn't you be mad?

01:13:28.000 Yeah.

01:13:28.000 And that's what I'm saying.

01:13:29.000 That's why it pisses me so off.

01:13:31.000 Like, that's one of the things that drives me crazy about this network, because they have a lot of these shows just like that, where they're selling things that...

01:13:39.000 But is that okay if it's good?

01:13:41.000 It's not good when you know it's fake, though.

01:13:43.000 You can tell it's fake.

01:13:45.000 A lot of the actors are such bad actors that you don't even need to know somebody that's working on it.

01:13:50.000 You just watch and go, oh, God, because they at least got good actors, you know?

01:13:54.000 Like...

01:13:55.000 It's that bad. 0.99

01:13:57.000 It's garbage TV. I hate garbage TV. But maybe in a way... 1.00

01:14:00.000 Maybe in a way it's good.

01:14:04.000 If you're really that stoned, I guess it's good. 1.00

01:14:06.000 Yeah, maybe in a way it's good because it's so stupid. 1.00

01:14:09.000 Like, there's a show that I like. 0.99

01:14:11.000 Have you seen Impractical Jokers?

01:14:12.000 No, I haven't not.

01:14:13.000 But I've heard it's really good.

01:14:14.000 Stan Hope likes it.

01:14:15.000 It's very funny.

01:14:16.000 But what if they keep doing it really bad?

01:14:18.000 What I'm saying is, like, if it sucks, I don't know it sucks because I haven't seen it, but if it sucks as hard as you say it sucks, some things that suck become awesome. 0.92

01:14:29.000 They suck, and then you go to see them later, or you see them when you're high, or you go to see them knowing that they suck, like Showgirls. 0.90

01:14:37.000 Remember Showgirls? 1.00

01:14:39.000 Goddamn, dude, that's one of my all-time favorite ridiculous movies. 0.98

01:14:42.000 That's totally different, though. 0.99

01:14:43.000 Right, but you know what I'm saying?

01:14:44.000 That's sexy and hot and awesome.

01:14:46.000 Troll 2, it's like the worst movie ever made, but everyone loves it or something like that.

01:14:50.000 There's like a documentary about how everyone loves it. 1.00

01:14:51.000 It's so stupid, dude. 1.00

01:14:53.000 It's so stupid, but it's awesome. 1.00

01:14:55.000 You know, but they have to be shitty on accident. 1.00

01:15:01.000 Like Waterworld. 0.91

01:15:03.000 Like a movie that...

01:15:04.000 Or worse.

01:15:05.000 Way worse.

01:15:06.000 The Postman.

01:15:09.000 And you gotta give him credit, because, you know, Kevin Costner's the man, and he did Wyatt Earp, which I really liked.

01:15:15.000 He did Dances with Wolves.

01:15:17.000 Dance Waterworld. 0.99

01:15:18.000 You're gonna have a few fuck-ups in there, bro. 0.96

01:15:21.000 Just didn't work out. 0.82

01:15:23.000 But...

01:15:24.000 What happened?

01:15:25.000 I haven't seen Costner in a while.

01:15:27.000 I think he's doing some new thing for HBO, I believe, too.

01:15:30.000 It can't be on purpose.

01:15:31.000 You can't make something bad on purpose.

01:15:33.000 Yes, you can't make something bad on purpose.

01:15:35.000 My point being, a movie like Showgirls, and there's a few other ones you could go back to.

01:15:41.000 Roadhouse.

01:15:42.000 Roadhouse in a lot of ways. 1.00

01:15:44.000 I fucking love Roadhouse, but it's so dumb. 1.00

01:15:48.000 It's so dumb. 1.00

01:15:48.000 When you watch it, it's awesome. 1.00

01:15:50.000 It becomes really good.

01:15:51.000 It goes away from being just a statement.

01:15:57.000 Just a badass action movie, and it becomes a comedy.

01:16:01.000 It really does morph, especially over time.

01:16:04.000 Because what it's like is something you had to plant, and it had to grow.

01:16:08.000 And as culture grew around Roadhouse, Roadhouse is, in a lot of ways, it's a time capsule. 0.86

01:16:15.000 Because it captures how fucking ridiculous people were in the year that it was made, where you could see what people accepted back then. 0.99

01:16:24.000 You could see how lame the script is, how ridiculous the dialogue is, how preposterous the fucking plot is. 0.99

01:16:32.000 There's a bad guy. 1.00

01:16:34.000 I've been screwing this town over and I'm going to keep screwing him over. 0.98

01:16:38.000 You've been screwing up this town for too long. 0.99

01:16:41.000 I'm going to keep screwing him over too. 0.99

01:16:44.000 Yeah! 0.98

01:16:45.000 It's so bad that it becomes awesome.

01:16:49.000 Are you worried about the potential new one they're going to make?

01:16:52.000 Yeah.

01:16:53.000 The thought behind it might be they're going to try to make something badly awesome again, but...

01:16:58.000 Sharnado it.

01:16:59.000 Bad intentions.

01:17:00.000 Here's what I think.

01:17:02.000 I think...

01:17:03.000 You piggyback...

01:17:06.000 And this is coming from a guy who did The Man Show 2, me and Stanhope.

01:17:10.000 But I think you piggyback...

01:17:14.000 When you're confined to the idea, like you piggyback on the love that the original Roadhouse had, right?

01:17:20.000 Because it's a classic movie.

01:17:21.000 You piggyback on that love, and you're already in a deficit.

01:17:24.000 It's like the Ghostbusters thing, you know, which, by the way, wasn't a good movie.

01:17:28.000 It was a good movie for a little bit, though. 0.71

01:17:31.000 There was some funny shit in Ghostbusters, but then it got monotonous, and I didn't enjoy the end. 0.63

01:17:36.000 I thought you told me you loved it. 0.97

01:17:37.000 I love some parts of it, I said.

01:17:39.000 I bought it based on your recommendation.

01:17:41.000 I did not say I loved it.

01:17:42.000 I definitely did not say I loved it.

01:17:43.000 It just wasn't a good show.

01:17:44.000 At the end of it, I was like, wow, this is like... 0.99

01:17:46.000 It seems like too many people fucked with it. 0.97

01:17:49.000 It's like one of those things where sometimes you look at a movie and you go, what... 0.94

01:17:53.000 There's so much going on here, so much special effects.

01:17:55.000 Like, the special effects were so monumental.

01:17:57.000 The one at the end that used to be the donut guy or the Pillsbury Doughboy in the original Ghostbusters, that fucking thing is taken to this crazy new CGI level where they're going into, spoiler alert, they're going into other dimensions, retrieving their friends, 0.98

01:18:14.000 and it's fucking craziness. 0.99

01:18:16.000 Fucking craziness. 1.00

01:18:18.000 But there were some funny moments in the beginning of that movie where I laughed pretty hard. 1.00

01:18:22.000 I was like, this is a funny fucking movie. 0.97

01:18:24.000 But then it just lost its way. 0.99

01:18:26.000 I felt.

01:18:27.000 But it's hard to make a movie, man.

01:18:29.000 I bought that Godzilla movie that came out like two years ago. 1.00

01:18:32.000 That was dog shit. 1.00

01:18:33.000 You didn't like it? 1.00

01:18:33.000 I thought it was okay. 1.00

01:18:34.000 The guy from Breaking Bad in it and stuff.

01:18:36.000 He was great.

01:18:37.000 He's great in everything.

01:18:38.000 But I was like, God, it's so corny.

01:18:40.000 You know they're making another one, right?

01:18:42.000 This one's being made by, I think it's being made in Japan.

01:18:45.000 So it's like the way they originally made Here's my problem with it.

01:18:49.000 I shouldn't say it's corny because I love monster movies and I definitely don't want to discourage monster movies and I'll absolutely see it next time it comes out.

01:18:55.000 The problem is, there's a dude in this movie, spoiler alert, the original Godzilla, not the original but the most recent one, the one with the guy from Breaking Bad. 0.94

01:19:03.000 There's a dude that keeps fucking surviving. 0.59

01:19:08.000 This guy, I mean, he falls off buildings. 0.99

01:19:10.000 He's in earthquakes. 1.00

01:19:12.000 They dig him out of the bottom of the fucking earth. 1.00

01:19:14.000 He's dust himself off. 1.00

01:19:16.000 I'm gonna go fight Godzilla. 1.00

01:19:17.000 His fucking family's waiting back for him. 1.00

01:19:19.000 It's just a tornado of cliches that literally makes you travel back in time to the 1960s. 1.00

01:19:26.000 It's so corny.

01:19:27.000 They look at each other in the eye at some point, too.

01:19:29.000 Oh, it's so corny!

01:19:31.000 It's also a big green monster.

01:19:34.000 Yeah, but I think you could do that big green monster with the kind of people that write...

01:19:40.000 Game of Thrones.

01:19:42.000 Or the kind of people that are writing this Westworld show. 1.00

01:19:46.000 Holy shit! 0.99

01:19:48.000 Westworld is good! 0.99

01:19:50.000 What is it? 0.98

01:19:51.000 Ed fucking Harris is playing the Yul Brynner character from the movie Westworld from 1973. And now they made a series of it on HBO and it's amazing. 0.98

01:20:04.000 People are like, it's not even amazing. 0.99

01:20:06.000 You're fucking terrible tasting shows. 0.99

01:20:09.000 I can't. 1.00

01:20:10.000 Listen, it's fucking good. 0.98

01:20:12.000 This is a really good show. 0.99

01:20:14.000 It's complex.

01:20:15.000 It's weird.

01:20:17.000 There's all these patterns that you don't expect. 0.99

01:20:19.000 There's a lot of weird shit going on. 0.99

01:20:22.000 It's a strange kind of violence because it's like a robot violence. 1.00

01:20:26.000 Robot?

01:20:27.000 Yeah.

01:20:27.000 Dude, this movie is a trip.

01:20:29.000 Or this show, rather, is a trip.

01:20:31.000 Oh, cool.

01:20:32.000 And it just keeps getting better.

01:20:34.000 I spent like $25 million on the pilot.

01:20:37.000 Yeah.

01:20:37.000 Anthony Hopkins is in it.

01:20:39.000 Ed Harris is fucking fantastic in this show. 0.99

01:20:43.000 He freaks me out at home. 0.99

01:20:45.000 I'm at home and I'm on my couch.

01:20:47.000 I'm like, please don't let that boogeyman come get me. 1.00

01:20:50.000 Ed Harris, you forget what a bad motherfucker he is until you watch this show. 0.99

01:20:56.000 Wow, this looks really interesting. 1.00

01:20:57.000 I thought it was just a cowboy show.

01:20:59.000 No, no, no.

01:20:59.000 It's about Westworld.

01:21:00.000 The movie Westworld was all about a place where you would go where you'd have these shoot-em-ups with robots.

01:21:06.000 And the robots eventually smarten up and rebel.

01:21:10.000 Wow.

01:21:10.000 And that's what this show is about.

01:21:11.000 It's, fuck it, there's Ed Harris. 0.99

01:21:13.000 Dude, I'm telling you, I kind of forgot how good of an actor Ed Harris is. 0.99

01:21:18.000 You watch him in this movie and you're like, this guy's one of the most untalked about best actors ever.

01:21:25.000 That's great. 0.99

01:21:26.000 He's so creepy in this fucking show. 1.00

01:21:29.000 I'm watching this tonight. 1.00

01:21:31.000 Dude, he's so good it freaks me out.

01:21:33.000 Like, I really believe him. 1.00

01:21:35.000 You know, I really believe he's a psychotic madman that can't be killed. 1.00

01:21:40.000 It's fucking awesome, man. 1.00

01:21:42.000 It's really good. 0.94

01:21:43.000 I recommend Mr. Robot, but everybody said that to you.

01:21:45.000 Yeah, I don't have that time.

01:21:46.000 I don't have time for that nonsense.

01:21:48.000 You would love it!

01:21:49.000 It's right up your alley, I promise.

01:21:51.000 I have time for one robot.

01:21:52.000 Christian Slater.

01:21:53.000 Here's the thing.

01:21:54.000 This is the problem with movies like Godzilla.

01:21:56.000 No disrespect to Godzilla.

01:21:57.000 Again, I love a good monster movie. 0.98

01:21:59.000 I watched the fucking Wolfman with Benicio Del Toro like five times. 0.99

01:22:02.000 I don't even like it. 0.99

01:22:04.000 I thought it was corny, but I watched it like five times just because I love a fucking werewolf movie. 0.98

01:22:09.000 It's fun. 0.99

01:22:09.000 It's cool. 0.99

01:22:10.000 When you do movies like Godzilla, and you have these kind of really cookie-cutter, cliche, CBS drama type, you know what I mean?

01:22:23.000 It's like a show.

01:22:25.000 It's not a bad show, but like a TV show.

01:22:28.000 It's kind of obvious what's happening.

01:22:30.000 They wrap it up nice and tight at the end.

01:22:32.000 Mwah! 0.98

01:22:33.000 And you have to compete against Game of Thrones.

01:22:35.000 Game of Thrones, which goes season, it's like a movie every week.

01:22:38.000 And it goes season after season of chaos and awesomeness and amazing writing.

01:22:44.000 Like, you can't just have that dude living over and over again, getting trampled by Godzilla.

01:22:49.000 Oh, I'm fine, let me just... 1.00

01:22:51.000 Back to fucking this fucking dinosaur up. 1.00

01:22:53.000 This dude just keeps getting his ass kicked. 1.00

01:22:55.000 He's falling out of helicopters into the ocean, swim to shore, and fuck up Godzilla. 1.00

01:22:59.000 He just keeps surviving, and it's driving me nuts. 0.96

01:23:02.000 He doesn't even have a coma, no concussion, no broken bones.

01:23:07.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:23:07.000 I fucked up my neck in the shower once, dude. 0.99

01:23:09.000 Okay? 0.99

01:23:10.000 I turned around to try to grab some shampoo and I popped some in my neck and I had to drive to Vegas that day.

01:23:16.000 And I drove to Vegas like this. 0.99

01:23:18.000 This fucking dude's getting launched off the top of buildings and dinosaurs are chasing him. 0.99

01:23:24.000 And in the end, he sticks around to watch the fight out. 1.00

01:23:28.000 You know how bad you'd be shitting your fucking pants if you were in a boat off the coast of Seattle and a 600-pound lizard was duking it out with another 600-pound lizard? 0.99

01:23:39.000 And they're fucking going to war with fire breath and one of them opens up the other one's head and blows fire into it? 1.00

01:23:46.000 Spoiler alert. 0.99

01:23:48.000 You would not be sitting there going, Yeah!

01:23:50.000 Godzilla! 0.54

01:23:51.000 Go get him! 1.00

01:23:51.000 That thing's gonna fuck you up too, stupid. 1.00

01:23:54.000 It's gonna fuck up everything. 1.00

01:23:55.000 It's not gonna care about these ants in these buildings.

01:23:58.000 You wouldn't be watching that.

01:24:01.000 You can't say those people wouldn't be screaming and crying and spasming and snot pouring down their nose and terrified because their eyes must be deceiving them. 0.99

01:24:14.000 They're watching a 600-foot lizard that lives in the ocean and blows fire out of its fucking mouth and it's knocking over buildings like they're little cardboard boxes. 0.99

01:24:25.000 What? 1.00

01:24:26.000 You're just sitting off the coast watching this? 0.99

01:24:31.000 You'd be shitting your pants! 0.98

01:24:33.000 There's not enough cool in the world to just sit there and watch that. 1.00

01:24:38.000 You'd be like, fuck, how far is Australia? 1.00

01:24:40.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:24:41.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:24:42.000 You'd just get to a plane or to a boat. 1.00

01:24:45.000 You'd get in a traffic jam.

01:24:46.000 People would die.

01:24:48.000 They would run over each other and not care. 0.99

01:24:50.000 They would trample each other like a fire in a building all throughout the land to get the fuck away from a 600-foot fire-breathing lizard. 0.95

01:24:58.000 So until you show that in the movies, you have failed us in this portrayal. 0.87

01:25:08.000 What were you going to say?

01:25:08.000 This movie actually just came out yesterday.

01:25:10.000 What?

01:25:11.000 That Godzilla movie.

01:25:12.000 No, but that's the fake one.

01:25:14.000 That's the one with the dudes.

01:25:15.000 It's like a nostalgia.

01:25:16.000 That's the Japanese one. 1.00

01:25:17.000 The guys are wearing suits.

01:25:18.000 Yeah.

01:25:19.000 But it's still good.

01:25:20.000 It's just a different kind.

01:25:21.000 It's like the original Godzilla good.

01:25:23.000 I would like to see that.

01:25:24.000 That's kind of cool.

01:25:25.000 It actually got good reviews.

01:25:26.000 And it actually looks really cool.

01:25:28.000 Look, the movie Godzilla and the idea of Godzilla is very fun. 0.98

01:25:34.000 The ocean is fucking huge, folks. 0.93

01:25:37.000 And there's whales in it. 0.99

01:25:40.000 Right?

01:25:41.000 Okay.

01:25:42.000 So, we know that there's something as big as a Godzilla, sort of.

01:25:46.000 Not really.

01:25:47.000 Like, what's a big whale?

01:25:49.000 How many hundreds of feet is a big whale?

01:25:51.000 There's the size comparison of the Godzillas of all of them.

01:25:55.000 Yeah, they all get bigger.

01:25:56.000 We need bigger.

01:25:57.000 We need double-doubles and big gulps.

01:26:00.000 Double-doubles.

01:26:01.000 We need big gulps in our Godzillas. 0.99

01:26:03.000 What did I just ask you, Jamie?

01:26:05.000 Whale.

01:26:05.000 Oh, yeah.

01:26:06.000 How big is the biggest whale?

01:26:09.000 What's the sperm?

01:26:10.000 Is it a sperm whale?

01:26:11.000 A blue whale?

01:26:13.000 How much?

01:26:14.000 30 meters.

01:26:16.000 98 feet.

01:26:16.000 Okay.

01:26:17.000 Wow.

01:26:18.000 Wow.

01:26:19.000 Okay, so that's still quite a bit smaller than Godzilla, but if a whale can be real, and a whale is 93 feet long, and you are 5'8",

01:26:38.000 Okay, so we know one thing can be way bigger, right? 0.99

01:26:41.000 Because I'm 5'8", but my daughter is a hamster, and that little fucker fits in my hand. 1.00

01:26:45.000 So, let's start thinking here. 0.99

01:26:47.000 What's to stop something from getting Godzilla-sized?

01:26:50.000 So far, we haven't really seen anything other than the dinosaurs, but they never really got Godzilla-sized either.

01:26:56.000 But it doesn't mean that it couldn't happen.

01:26:58.000 I mean, someone probably has an argument against the gravity effect on something that large, like how much mass you'd have to be moving around, how big your muscles and bones would have to be.

01:27:08.000 Don't they say that that happens to certain animals at a certain size?

01:27:12.000 It just becomes impractical due to the environment of Earth?

01:27:15.000 And that's one of the things that they thought was the reason why the dinosaurs were so huge, was that the atmosphere might have been different then.

01:27:22.000 And that it might have been a different kind of atmosphere that allowed them to move more easily.

01:27:29.000 Which is really fascinating, right?

01:27:30.000 More oxygen.

01:27:31.000 Maybe.

01:27:32.000 Well, I think it was way warmer, right?

01:27:34.000 Wasn't that?

01:27:35.000 It was real tropical, I think they think, during the dinosaur days.

01:27:39.000 Obviously not everywhere.

01:27:41.000 I'm sure they probably had polar ice caps even back then.

01:27:44.000 But I think the temperature in the Jurassic and the other...

01:27:50.000 Here we go here.

01:27:51.000 Dinosaur air at five times today's CO2. There you go.

01:27:55.000 Huh.

01:27:57.000 Wow.

01:27:57.000 Listen to that, folks.

01:27:59.000 Okay, so they had, they knew a world, the dinosaurs that roamed the Earth 250 million years ago knew a world with five times more carbon dioxide than present on Earth today.

01:28:10.000 Researchers say, and new techniques for estimating the amount of carbon dioxide on prehistoric Earth may help scientists predict how Earth's climate may change in the future. 0.98

01:28:20.000 Fuck, dude, we're gonna have dinosaurs. 1.00

01:28:22.000 We fucked up. 1.00

01:28:24.000 We had coal power plants and we're going to make dinosaurs. 0.99

01:28:26.000 Those lizards are just going to keep getting bigger and bigger and all the liberals are going to go, we have to keep them alive because they're an important part of our ecosystem and they are our scaly friends.

01:28:39.000 And then the alligators just keep getting bigger and alligators get to be like 30 feet long and people go, hey, what's going on?

01:28:46.000 Why are the alligators so big?

01:28:48.000 Like, they're getting bigger.

01:28:49.000 Do you guys know?

01:28:49.000 No, no, no.

01:28:50.000 These are just unusual examples.

01:28:51.000 These are outliers.

01:28:53.000 These are outliers of our scaly friends.

01:28:55.000 And, you know, I don't size shame as a human or with animals.

01:29:00.000 And big alligators don't. 0.97

01:29:02.000 Next thing you know, alligators are 300 feet long.

01:29:04.000 And they're just smashing through buildings, eating your kids.

01:29:09.000 Jurassic Park was technically real.

01:29:11.000 Well, what if alligators keep growing like my story that I'm talking about right now?

01:29:14.000 I know, it's not too far off of that.

01:29:16.000 Like, would you go visit it?

01:29:17.000 I want to keep talking about my story!

01:29:19.000 Jesus, Jamie.

01:29:21.000 I don't know, man. 0.99

01:29:22.000 I'm just saying that at one point in time, if alligators keep getting bigger, they're gonna have to say, okay, they're too big, we gotta kill them. 0.98

01:29:28.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:29:29.000 We can't have them wandering around if they're 50 feet long and they just want to kill people. 0.58

01:29:33.000 We can't do that, right?

01:29:34.000 So my point is, they accept alligators up to a certain size.

01:29:38.000 Right now, that alligator on the golf course video, which got millions and millions of hits, that alligator is 15 feet long.

01:29:44.000 That alligator is on the border.

01:29:47.000 Like, okay, we're letting that thing live?

01:29:49.000 You don't let this 15 foot long monster just roam around?

01:29:52.000 And everybody's like, hey, we always have before.

01:29:54.000 Okay, okay, okay, we're cool, we're cool.

01:29:56.000 But if he's 30 feet long, you're not gonna be out there, right? 0.99

01:30:00.000 If he's 90 feet long like a fucking whale, you're not gonna be out there. 0.98

01:30:06.000 No one's gonna be out there and you're not gonna be safe. 1.00

01:30:07.000 That's a giant carnivore. 0.99

01:30:09.000 So my point was, when do we shoot that thing? 0.97

01:30:14.000 I don't know, would you shoot it or would you capture it? 0.95

01:30:18.000 SCI World Record Stokes.

01:30:20.000 Stokes?

01:30:21.000 Is that Stokes or Stakes?

01:30:22.000 Stokes.

01:30:23.000 Stokes?

01:30:23.000 Stokes Alligator.

01:30:24.000 What's a Stokes Alligator?

01:30:26.000 Is that a type of alligator?

01:30:30.000 15 feet 9 inches long. 0.99

01:30:32.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:30:34.000 God. 1.00

01:30:34.000 Oh, see that's an SCI. You know what that means? 1.00

01:30:37.000 That's Safari Club International.

01:30:39.000 That's like, it might be.

01:30:41.000 Make sure that I'm correct there.

01:30:43.000 But that's one of those organizations that measures the largest animals of each species that were killed hunting.

01:30:52.000 So that might be what that is.

01:30:55.000 See if that's right.

01:30:56.000 Is that the SCI? What is Stokes?

01:31:00.000 What does it keep saying?

01:31:01.000 Oh, their name.

01:31:03.000 Mandy Stokes.

01:31:05.000 Told the website.

01:31:07.000 Oh, yeah.

01:31:10.000 They killed it. 0.95

01:31:12.000 They killed that thing. 1.00

01:31:14.000 There it goes.

01:31:15.000 So that she went through with a range of emotions as they first stalked the animal before baiting it, or battling it, and killing it.

01:31:23.000 Finally struggling to take it, and finally struggling to take it back to shore.

01:31:28.000 How weird.

01:31:30.000 Alligator meat is supposed to be super good for you, which is really kind of crazy, right? 1.00

01:31:33.000 You look at that thing, like how could you eat that fucking thing? 0.99

01:31:36.000 But apparently their tails are delicious. 1.00

01:31:40.000 You just have to prepare it properly and you get it like right off the alligator.

01:31:46.000 Didn't they hunt those things?

01:31:47.000 Didn't that place we used to always go to in Texas have, like, alligator soup?

01:31:51.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:31:53.000 Joey's favorite place.

01:31:55.000 Papa Do's?

01:31:56.000 Papa Do's. 0.59

01:31:56.000 Was it Papa Do's? 0.59

01:31:57.000 Yeah, Papa Do's.

01:31:57.000 And the hotel was right next door.

01:31:59.000 Right, right, right.

01:31:59.000 There's more than one Do's.

01:32:02.000 There's, like, a Papa Do's, and there's a seafood one, and the Cajun one, right?

01:32:06.000 Mm-hmm.

01:32:07.000 There's a steakhouse.

01:32:08.000 It's like a bunch of chains, right?

01:32:10.000 Yeah, it's a chain, yeah.

01:32:11.000 Yeah, I think if you get alligator, you gotta get it from someone who shot the alligator.

01:32:16.000 Like, I think, or get it from a chef that knows how to get it, like, when it's really fresh.

01:32:22.000 It's supposed to be amazing.

01:32:26.000 It's a really uncomfortable subject for people.

01:32:28.000 At what point in time are we in danger?

01:32:30.000 And what point in time do we step in?

01:32:32.000 Like if grizzly bears just start wandering the streets and eating people, are we gonna have the same feeling that we have about them in the woods?

01:32:39.000 No, we're not going to.

01:32:40.000 So we're gonna have to do something then, right?

01:32:42.000 Yeah, okay, just checking.

01:32:43.000 I just want to check.

01:32:44.000 I just want to know what team you're on.

01:32:46.000 I'm not saying we need to go to the woods and clean out the grizzly bears.

01:32:49.000 I just want to know.

01:32:50.000 If the grizzly bears come to Burbank, okay, we can stop that, right? 0.99

01:32:55.000 We can shoot them, right? 0.61

01:32:56.000 If the grizzly bears just start eating people in Burbank, you're on team people, right? 1.00

01:33:00.000 Okay.

01:33:01.000 I'm not saying we should kill them in Yellowstone. 0.99

01:33:03.000 Hey, live and let live. 1.00

01:33:05.000 Let those big giant monsters go wander through the woods. 1.00

01:33:09.000 Have a good time.

01:33:10.000 Eat your hiker.

01:33:11.000 Occasional.

01:33:13.000 Occasional hiker. 0.99

01:33:14.000 Just stay the fuck out of San Francisco, right? 1.00

01:33:17.000 If grizzlies start wandering through San Francisco, Fuck that. 1.00

01:33:20.000 Dude, I was in this town near Bakersfield called LeBeck, and it's named after a dude named Peter LeBeck, who is purportedly the last man in California to get killed by a grizzly bear. 1.00

01:33:34.000 So I went to the website to read about this dude, and as we're reading it, I'm reading that his feet were bitten off.

01:33:42.000 This is not funny.

01:33:43.000 I know it's not funny.

01:33:44.000 His feet were bitten off.

01:33:46.000 One of his hands was gone. 1.00

01:33:49.000 This bear just fucked him up. 1.00

01:33:52.000 And they named the town after him. 0.99

01:33:55.000 After the guy died, like, in his honor, they named this town after the last guy to get killed by a grizzly bear.

01:34:02.000 So, like, people that go, hey, you know, they've ruined California.

01:34:06.000 The grizzly bear is extinct from California.

01:34:09.000 Listen to me.

01:34:10.000 Listen to me. 1.00

01:34:11.000 Let Montana have the fucking grizzlies. 1.00

01:34:15.000 You don't want them here. 1.00

01:34:17.000 Just trust me.

01:34:18.000 I know they seem so romantic.

01:34:21.000 They seem so lovely when you're on television.

01:34:24.000 That's great.

01:34:24.000 And there's a spot for them on Earth.

01:34:26.000 That's great, too.

01:34:28.000 But this idea of bringing them back, like, what do you want to be? 0.98

01:34:30.000 One of those pioneers that's scared to get to your fucking recyclable bin in the middle of the night? 0.99

01:34:34.000 You're terrified because your neighborhood is filled with bears and lions and shit? 1.00

01:34:39.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

01:34:40.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

01:34:41.000 30-foot-long crocodiles wandering down your neighborhood? 0.98

01:34:44.000 No.

01:34:45.000 No. 1.00

01:34:47.000 Gotta shoot those things, goddammit. 1.00

01:34:49.000 They found the story of him because it was written into a tree. 1.00

01:34:53.000 Did you read that?

01:34:54.000 What?

01:34:55.000 Say what?

01:34:56.000 Say what?

01:34:59.000 I'm looking up the story about him.

01:35:00.000 He keeps talking about this inscription written on a tree that was found when people were passing through in the 1850s.

01:35:06.000 Whoa.

01:35:07.000 Do you think if we didn't have teddy bears as kids, we would not be so attached to bears?

01:35:11.000 Oh, for sure.

01:35:12.000 Oh, that's right.

01:35:13.000 There was a story written on the tree and then they dug him up and his bones were, you know, that way, torn apart.

01:35:20.000 Wow.

01:35:21.000 Yeah, that's exactly what it was.

01:35:23.000 Now that I refresh my memory, I'd forgotten it was written somewhere.

01:35:26.000 I didn't know it was on a tree.

01:35:27.000 I thought it was a note.

01:35:29.000 That's insane. 1.00

01:35:31.000 Fuck bears, dude. 1.00

01:35:33.000 Seriously, fuck them. 1.00

01:35:35.000 Again, I'm not for eradicating bears, ladies and gentlemen. 1.00

01:35:38.000 I just want to be clear.

01:35:39.000 I love them.

01:35:40.000 I'm glad they exist.

01:35:41.000 They're cool.

01:35:41.000 Just like lions are cool.

01:35:43.000 I don't want lions in Burbank.

01:35:45.000 You know, a whole Cecil the Lion thing.

01:35:47.000 Let's not get carried away, folks.

01:35:50.000 Let's not.

01:35:51.000 Don't bring them over here.

01:35:52.000 Don't get crazy.

01:35:53.000 There's a guy who wants to bring them over to England.

01:35:56.000 Do you know the guy who is the When Wolves Created Rivers guy?

01:36:01.000 The guy where the wolves changed rivers, he made this really cool documentary or a video that shows what the- it's been criticized, I don't know who's right, but to me it's interesting and it makes a lot of really cool points.

01:36:13.000 And one of the things was that these wolves, when they reintroduced them to Yellowstone, they started killing the elk and killing the deer and that allowed a lot of the plants to grow better, which allowed a lot of the rivers to change the course of the rivers because the root system got stronger.

01:36:28.000 And all these other animals survived and thrived.

01:36:31.000 They all did better because they weren't the prey of the wolf, but they were benefiting from the elk and the deer not being around anymore.

01:36:38.000 And so it's really cool to see how when they introduce a predator into an area, it's almost like you're watching a mathematical program.

01:36:48.000 Like you introduce this, and it's a really controversial subject because a lot of elk hunters in particular...

01:36:54.000 We're really mad when they brought these wolves in because they killed half the elk population.

01:36:58.000 They chopped them down to 50%.

01:37:00.000 But some people think that is probably overall healthy for the actual animals themselves.

01:37:05.000 It's like a more honest life.

01:37:07.000 It's not really honest for these wild cows and undulates to not have any predators.

01:37:12.000 They've never had that all throughout history.

01:37:14.000 So our idea that we're going to eliminate all the predators and they're just going to run wild...

01:37:19.000 That's crazy. 0.99

01:37:20.000 Like, that's how you get, like, Michigan, where people are fucking hitting them with cars to the tune of a million a year or something. 0.98

01:37:25.000 Was it 1.5 million in the whole country for a year, right? 0.95

01:37:30.000 200 people dead from colliding with deer.

01:37:33.000 You know, so, like, wolves?

01:37:35.000 Wolves are important.

01:37:37.000 Bears are important.

01:37:37.000 They're interesting.

01:37:38.000 They're fucking fascinating, man. 0.79

01:37:40.000 I'm so glad they're around. 0.99

01:37:42.000 But don't get crazy. 0.99

01:37:45.000 Don't get fucking crazy. 1.00

01:37:47.000 The coyotes in my neighborhood, it's getting out of hand, and the crows. 1.00

01:37:50.000 I love coyotes.

01:37:50.000 Crows and coyotes out of control.

01:37:52.000 I love coyotes, man.

01:37:53.000 I do. 0.98

01:37:55.000 They're fucking cool. 0.97

01:37:57.000 I mean, I remember the first time I saw one, I was staying at the, um... 0.99

01:38:02.000 What is those furnished apartments?

01:38:05.000 The Oakwoods.

01:38:06.000 You know the Oakwoods everybody gets when you first move to Hollywood?

01:38:10.000 I was staying at one of those things, man. 0.99

01:38:11.000 I was driving to the apartment and I saw these fucking dogs running down the street like little German shepherds. 1.00

01:38:17.000 And it's the first time I'd ever seen a coyote and I realized, holy shit, these are coyotes. 1.00

01:38:21.000 How weird is this? 0.98

01:38:23.000 These are little wild predators, just small enough that we let them stay.

01:38:28.000 Just small enough.

01:38:29.000 If they were hyenas, we would be gunning them down from the top of buses, right? 1.00

01:38:33.000 If hyenas were roaming down the street, tearing apart dogs and shit, we'd be terrified. 1.00

01:38:39.000 But hyenas are just dicky enough to slip under the radar, like they eat a cat every now and then. 1.00

01:38:44.000 Don't leave your cat out, bro! 1.00

01:38:46.000 I'm gonna eat your fucking cat! 1.00

01:38:47.000 We, like, tolerate that this little predator will eat your dog. 1.00

01:38:52.000 Like, he'll snatch your dog right out of your yard and hop over the fence with him.

01:38:55.000 You gotta deal with that.

01:38:56.000 I saw one kill my chicken.

01:38:57.000 I saw it. 1.00

01:38:58.000 Saw that fucker hop over the fence with my chicken in its mouth. 1.00

01:39:03.000 But I still love them. 1.00

01:39:05.000 I love them because they're like little criminals. 0.95

01:39:09.000 They're like skirting the system.

01:39:11.000 They're just scary enough that you don't want your kids to be around them, but you're not scared of them.

01:39:18.000 They're a little skittish. 1.00

01:39:20.000 They'd probably fuck you up if they wanted to. 1.00

01:39:22.000 Like if a coyote really came after you, you'd probably have a real problem. 1.00

01:39:25.000 You'd probably have a real problem.

01:39:27.000 It's like a dog, right?

01:39:28.000 It's a lot like a dog.

01:39:29.000 Sharp teeth.

01:39:29.000 Yeah, but they're more survival oriented.

01:39:31.000 They'd be scared.

01:39:33.000 If you put up a good fight, like if you booted a coyote in the head, if you got a good roundhouse kick, you know? 0.99

01:39:39.000 If you're like a Chuck Liddell, like if a coyote tries to fuck with Chuck Liddell, and Chuck Liddell kicks that fucking thing in the head, that coyote's gonna run. 0.99

01:39:48.000 He's gonna go, what was that? 1.00

01:39:50.000 Fuck this! 1.00

01:39:51.000 That's never happened to me before, and they'll just take off. 1.00

01:39:53.000 Even if he doesn't knock them unconscious, they'll just run and get the fuck away. 1.00

01:39:57.000 But they'll kill you if you're small. 1.00

01:40:00.000 If you're a little kid, coyotes will kill you. 0.93

01:40:03.000 They don't have any morals.

01:40:05.000 The only thing they look is there are people around.

01:40:08.000 Can I get away with this?

01:40:10.000 I'm going to do it.

01:40:10.000 That's what they do.

01:40:11.000 They don't have any rules. 1.00

01:40:12.000 They're goddamn wild animals. 1.00

01:40:14.000 Remember that 19-year-old singer who was killed in Canada a few years back? 1.00

01:40:19.000 She's a folk singer.

01:40:20.000 She was killed by coyotes.

01:40:22.000 Really?

01:40:22.000 Dude, it was ugly because they found her.

01:40:24.000 She was still alive.

01:40:25.000 Oh, God.

01:40:26.000 But here's the thing about coyotes, dude. 1.00

01:40:28.000 They start eating you ass first. 1.00

01:40:29.000 That's right. 1.00

01:40:32.000 I remember that. 1.00

01:40:32.000 Do you have any idea how horrific it must be for a coyote to pull your guts out through your asshole while you're screaming and no one can hear you and you're in the woods? 1.00

01:40:43.000 That is a demon. 1.00

01:40:45.000 It's just a demon that only attacks occasionally. 1.00

01:40:48.000 If coyotes weren't a real thing and there was a murder where a demon from hell came out of the ground and ate a 19 year old aspiring folk singer Threw her asshole, ate her, ripped her guts out, tore apart, and then the demon just disappeared and went into space. 1.00

01:41:05.000 And we knew that he was going to come back in 30 years. 1.00

01:41:07.000 That town would live in terror!

01:41:10.000 Live in terror of the possibility of something that could commit that kind of an act would return.

01:41:16.000 Like it would be looming over us.

01:41:18.000 We'd prepare. 0.99

01:41:19.000 We'd have armor and shit. 0.99

01:41:20.000 Be waiting for the 30 years to come. 0.99

01:41:23.000 Meanwhile, they're outside checking out your mail.

01:41:26.000 They're sniffing around your garbage cans.

01:41:28.000 You hear their nails?

01:41:30.000 Click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

01:41:31.000 My security camera gets in once in a while.

01:41:32.000 Of course it does.

01:41:33.000 It's creepy.

01:41:34.000 Of course it does, man.

01:41:36.000 Yeah, they're everywhere.

01:41:37.000 They're everywhere.

01:41:38.000 I'm having a guy come on soon that is a wildlife biologist that's studying.

01:41:44.000 We're trying to coordinate a date.

01:41:45.000 He's studying coyotes that live in the city and surprisingly healthy populations of coyotes that live in the city.

01:41:55.000 That's crazy.

01:41:56.000 Yeah, there's a lot of them, man.

01:41:57.000 They find places where they can sleep. 0.99

01:42:00.000 They find places where no one's gonna fuck with them. 0.99

01:42:02.000 And then that's their spot. 0.99

01:42:03.000 And then they venture out at night, or venture out at, you know, dusk. 0.97

01:42:08.000 And they've just figured out a way to fucking avoid people bothering them. 0.96

01:42:12.000 But they live in cities, man. 0.98

01:42:14.000 It's weird.

01:42:14.000 Everybody just gets out of their car.

01:42:16.000 They get in their house, get in your car, drive off to work.

01:42:19.000 You go down here, you go down there.

01:42:20.000 How often do you check in that weird alleyway behind your apartment building?

01:42:23.000 How often do you check in that place?

01:42:25.000 Has anybody checked in that place?

01:42:26.000 You know, there's like trees back there for no reason.

01:42:28.000 And behind that, there's a fence.

01:42:30.000 You ever go look in there? 1.00

01:42:31.000 It's where coyotes live, motherfucker. 1.00

01:42:32.000 If you don't go there for a certain amount of time, they find that spot. 1.00

01:42:35.000 They sniff around like, these dumb fucks don't come here anymore. 0.99

01:42:38.000 And they'll use that, and they find these spots all around the city, apparently. 1.00

01:42:43.000 It's pretty cool.

01:42:46.000 It's like a weird animal that's just small enough that we'll let it hunt near us.

01:42:55.000 I wish there was foxes, more foxes around us.

01:42:58.000 Foxes are pretty dope.

01:42:59.000 You see that video of the fox laughing?

01:43:02.000 No.

01:43:02.000 This guy, I guess, has a fox.

01:43:05.000 Oh, a pet fox?

01:43:05.000 A pet fox.

01:43:06.000 And the guy would just be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

01:43:09.000 And the fox just goes, eh, he, he, he, he, he.

01:43:11.000 Like, it's just, like, it's so weird.

01:43:13.000 Such a weird video.

01:43:14.000 Yeah, this.

01:43:15.000 Look at that.

01:43:15.000 That's a fox.

01:43:16.000 Oh, it's a pet.

01:43:18.000 Yeah.

01:43:18.000 It's got a collar on and everything.

01:43:19.000 That's a fox?

01:43:20.000 Yeah, look at him.

01:43:22.000 Oh my god, he's laughing.

01:43:25.000 Whoa.

01:43:28.000 That's a hilarious sound.

01:43:30.000 It rolls over.

01:43:31.000 Fox is probably so happy.

01:43:32.000 He's inside a house getting free food.

01:43:34.000 He doesn't have to go out there and earn.

01:43:37.000 You know?

01:43:38.000 Do you ever see the video of the fox with the grizzly man?

01:43:42.000 When grizzly man was up...

01:43:45.000 In the woods, and the fox and him became buddies.

01:43:47.000 Yeah.

01:43:47.000 It's really beautiful footage.

01:43:50.000 I think, honestly, I know I make fun of that movie a lot, because that guy was out of his fucking mind. 0.99

01:43:55.000 And that's another unintentional comedy. 0.99

01:43:57.000 This is another perfect example of something that's not supposed to be funny, but it's goddamn hilarious. 0.73

01:44:03.000 And no disrespect to this guy who got eaten by the bear. 0.94

01:44:06.000 No disrespect.

01:44:07.000 Because I think he really did do a lot of great stuff. 0.98

01:44:10.000 I think he was a little delusional with his idea that he was saving these bears, but what he did do is got amazing, incredible, up-close footage of grizzly bears involved in all sorts of crazy shit. 0.72

01:44:24.000 He captured grizzly bear wars at really close range. 0.90

01:44:30.000 And he did a great job.

01:44:32.000 And he developed friendships with these animals like this little fox right here.

01:44:36.000 This fox just comes right up to him, man, and is hanging out with him.

01:44:40.000 At one point, it steals his hat and playfully runs off with it.

01:44:44.000 And he's like, hey, give me that hat back.

01:44:46.000 And the fox isn't scared of him, man.

01:44:48.000 The fox just thinks it's funny.

01:44:50.000 Like, why would the fox take the hat?

01:44:53.000 He's just rolling around in it, biting on it.

01:44:55.000 It's really adorable.

01:44:56.000 And the grizzly man gets mad, so he goes chasing after the fox.

01:45:00.000 And it was this weird moment of camaraderie between two life forms that are just hanging out in the woods together.

01:45:12.000 That thing accepted him into its community, man.

01:45:14.000 It's really interesting.

01:45:16.000 Another interesting thing is the wolves killed one of those foxes while he was there.

01:45:21.000 Oh, really?

01:45:21.000 They got ahold of that fox and tore it apart.

01:45:24.000 They don't want any competing predators.

01:45:27.000 Same with coyotes. 0.58

01:45:29.000 Coyotes.

01:45:30.000 Coyotes.

01:45:30.000 Coyote.

01:45:31.000 Same with coyotes. 0.58

01:45:32.000 They don't want competing predators. 0.90

01:45:33.000 That's apparently the main reason why they kill cats. 1.00

01:45:36.000 They don't even kill them to eat them as much as they kill them because they don't want any predators that are competing for the same things they're competing for.

01:45:45.000 So he got this amazing footage of him running after this fox, hanging out with this fox.

01:45:50.000 He was like buddies with this little fox.

01:45:53.000 And then when the fox kid got eaten by the wolf, he found a paw.

01:45:57.000 And you're like, whoa, this world is...

01:46:01.000 Gangster!

01:46:02.000 Like, these little crazy animals make friends with this nutty guy who's camped out in a tent, and while he's camped out in that tent, in the middle of the night, the wolves come into town and tear one of those foxes apart, and he's crying, and he said, I heard the screams, I heard the howls, 0.95

01:46:17.000 I heard the wolves. 0.99

01:46:18.000 I'm like, what in the fuck are you living through, dude? 1.00

01:46:21.000 Like, you're having monster wars in your yard. 1.00

01:46:25.000 I need to re-watch that movie.

01:46:26.000 Oh, that's so good.

01:46:27.000 Or even remember these parts.

01:46:29.000 I remember the whole fox a little.

01:46:30.000 I've seen it way too many times. 0.99

01:46:34.000 I've seen that fucking movie 15 times. 1.00

01:46:38.000 I watch it on planes and I'm bored. 1.00

01:46:40.000 If I'm bored, I'm like, I'm gonna watch this shit again. 0.99

01:46:44.000 Did you see that report that there's like 1,300 Chinese old ladies or old people go missing every day? 0.99

01:46:52.000 Like there's this whole thing where old people just are missing.

01:46:57.000 Like daily, 1,300 Chinese old people. 0.99

01:46:59.000 Wait a minute, so this is recent?

01:47:01.000 Yeah.

01:47:01.000 Oh, no.

01:47:02.000 They're saying it's up to 500,000 old people go missing every year in China.

01:47:08.000 What?

01:47:08.000 And so there's all these theories like they become food and the government takes them because it costs so much money.

01:47:15.000 Oh, no.

01:47:18.000 That's a lot.

01:47:19.000 I know.

01:47:20.000 500,000 American old people?

01:47:22.000 500,000 a year.

01:47:24.000 Okay, how many people go missing in America every year?

01:47:29.000 How many old people go missing in America every year?

01:47:31.000 Let's see if there's a difference.

01:47:33.000 I think 500,000 seems like a lot, but China has a billion.

01:47:38.000 In China, it's 80%.

01:47:40.000 80% of what?

01:47:41.000 People that are missing people.

01:47:42.000 80% of missing people are old?

01:47:44.000 Yeah.

01:47:45.000 Yeah.

01:47:46.000 Over 75. No.

01:47:48.000 Yeah.

01:47:51.000 What? 0.97

01:47:52.000 Oh my god, they're killing old people. 1.00

01:47:54.000 That's what I'm saying. 0.90

01:47:55.000 Oh my god. 0.83

01:47:56.000 They kill babies and old people. 1.00

01:47:58.000 Oh my god, that's so insane.

01:48:00.000 On average in the USA, there's only 90,000 missing persons at any given time.

01:48:05.000 Okay, 90,000 missing persons, but in their defense, China has probably three plus times more people than we do.

01:48:18.000 But that's close.

01:48:20.000 That's close and you consider the fact that they live in a really rural place and a lot of the areas are very rural.

01:48:26.000 Do they have predators?

01:48:28.000 They have bears, right?

01:48:28.000 China has some bears.

01:48:30.000 What else do they have? 1.00

01:48:32.000 Hey, just Google, what kind of shit eats people in China? 1.00

01:48:37.000 And they'll say, Chinese people. 1.00

01:48:39.000 Yeah, Chinese.

01:48:40.000 It's just the infinity sign.

01:48:42.000 Yeah, just a few cannibals.

01:48:43.000 It's very rare, but we got a few guys.

01:48:46.000 That would be a weird thing to find out.

01:48:47.000 How many people in America are eating people right now?

01:48:49.000 And if America has 90,000 missing people, how percent of that is old people?

01:48:54.000 Probably only like a small amount, I'm guessing.

01:48:56.000 What are you Googling here, buddy?

01:48:58.000 I googled exactly what you said. 0.99

01:48:59.000 What kind of weird shit meets people in China? 1.00

01:49:02.000 Meat made from poop? 1.00

01:49:03.000 We shouldn't say shit. 1.00

01:49:04.000 I didn't really mean shit. 0.99

01:49:06.000 I know, I was being silly. 0.99

01:49:08.000 You should actually google predators of humans in China. 0.65

01:49:14.000 Sorry, I had to be more specific.

01:49:17.000 Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to announce right now, we were way too high to start this podcast when we did, so thanks for hanging in there.

01:49:25.000 We've come back around.

01:49:26.000 Everybody's okay now.

01:49:28.000 That was too high.

01:49:31.000 Do they have predators? 0.99

01:49:32.000 Is there maybe a thing that old ladies get scooped up by pterodactyls or some shit? 1.00

01:49:36.000 Imagine if pterodactyls are real. 0.99

01:49:38.000 We'd have to shoot them out of the sky.

01:49:39.000 You can't be an alligator that can fly. 0.98

01:49:41.000 Right?

01:49:41.000 Right.

01:49:42.000 Agreed?

01:49:42.000 Right.

01:49:42.000 Yeah.

01:49:43.000 You could just crawl around on a golf course.

01:49:45.000 I'm like, oh, I'll let that slide. 1.00

01:49:46.000 As soon as they can fly, fuck you. 1.00

01:49:48.000 You can't just land in my yard, you piece of shit. 1.00

01:49:51.000 And then what? 1.00

01:49:51.000 You can fly away and I can't fly? 1.00

01:49:53.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:49:54.000 Is there anything that flies right now that attacks people? 1.00

01:49:57.000 See, that's the thing about eagles.

01:49:58.000 Eagles got smart. 1.00

01:49:59.000 They never got big enough to fuck with us. 1.00

01:50:01.000 So we said, alright, we'll let you be our national bird. 1.00

01:50:04.000 Eagles got really close.

01:50:06.000 They got scary. 0.99

01:50:08.000 I mean, if you see an eagle and you see those talons and shit, they'll freak you out. 0.98

01:50:11.000 I get attacked by birds a lot, though, recently. 0.98

01:50:15.000 I think I just must be near nests.

01:50:17.000 Yeah, don't be doing that.

01:50:19.000 I'm just sitting in my backyard and a bird flying.

01:50:21.000 What do you got here, Jamie?

01:50:22.000 This is just Wildlife of China on Wikipedia.

01:50:25.000 These are different mammals.

01:50:26.000 Does it say predators of humans?

01:50:28.000 Did you Google predators of humans?

01:50:29.000 They have giant tigers.

01:50:31.000 Oh, they do.

01:50:31.000 Well, that's it.

01:50:32.000 Old people getting eaten by tigers.

01:50:33.000 There you go.

01:50:34.000 Soylent.

01:50:35.000 What if we find out it's a soylent?

01:50:37.000 South China tiger.

01:50:39.000 Soylent.

01:50:40.000 Chinese people are soylent. 1.00

01:50:42.000 We just figured it out.

01:50:43.000 Oh my god.

01:50:44.000 And they're like, we told you! 1.00

01:50:46.000 It was in the fucking wrapper, you dumb piece of shit. 1.00

01:50:48.000 Made in China. 1.00

01:50:50.000 Oh my god, they have Siberian tigers?

01:50:52.000 Oh, they have a bunch of other cats too.

01:50:53.000 What is that?

01:50:54.000 Population of Bengal tigers?

01:50:55.000 What are those other cats at the top?

01:50:58.000 Leopards?

01:50:59.000 Oh, leopards are terrifying.

01:51:00.000 So, this is what I think. 0.99

01:51:02.000 Since they have a bunch of shit that we don't have that can kill you, my estimation is that poor communication, lack of resources, Very rural neighborhoods connected to tigers and cats are causing the extra 200,000 that would account for them having the exact same amount of old people go missing as we do. 0.99

01:51:22.000 You said 25% of those old people have dementia. 0.99

01:51:25.000 Oh, there you go.

01:51:26.000 You wander off, you get eaten by a tiger.

01:51:28.000 I forget.

01:51:29.000 What am I not supposed to get eaten by?

01:51:30.000 A tree?

01:51:31.000 No.

01:51:32.000 Did you see that video of the Chinese person eating the other... 0.98

01:51:34.000 on the subway?

01:51:36.000 Like, cannibalism?

01:51:37.000 What?

01:51:39.000 Yeah.

01:51:39.000 What?

01:51:40.000 Maybe, uh, yeah, let's say Asian. 0.90

01:51:43.000 Let's not show it for sure.

01:51:45.000 Well, you can't really see anything.

01:51:46.000 You just see a guy hunched over another guy and just blood coming out of him.

01:51:50.000 So he attacks the guy?

01:51:51.000 Is that real?

01:51:52.000 It's happened a few times.

01:51:53.000 It's happened, like, there's more than one video.

01:51:54.000 Is this real?

01:51:55.000 Yeah, there's more than one video.

01:51:56.000 So who's he attacking?

01:51:57.000 He's attacking some other guy.

01:51:58.000 Oh my god.

01:51:59.000 Is that all blood?

01:52:00.000 Yes.

01:52:01.000 What did he attack him with?

01:52:02.000 With his mouth.

01:52:03.000 He's eating him.

01:52:04.000 Oh my god.

01:52:05.000 This is insane.

01:52:06.000 There's more than one of these videos.

01:52:07.000 How come no one's helping this guy?

01:52:08.000 I don't know.

01:52:09.000 I'm not getting in that.

01:52:10.000 And there's more than one of these videos, Joe.

01:52:11.000 Wait a minute.

01:52:11.000 You would let that go on?

01:52:13.000 I don't know if I'd let it get on, but I mean like...

01:52:15.000 Oh my god.

01:52:16.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:52:17.000 I mean, you have some skills that can help, but I can't do shit. 0.98

01:52:20.000 I would faint. 1.00

01:52:22.000 Oh, I'd kill the fuck out of that guy if I could. 0.99

01:52:25.000 You'd have to worry that he's gonna go after you next or your kid or your friend or your mom and that's a subway in China by the way and there's more than one of these cannibalism videos like there's a China on subways there's is I don't know what happens, but there's a lot of this happening There's a bunch of videos of people randomly attacking people on subways. 0.99

01:52:44.000 That was real weird when we were just watching.

01:52:46.000 Well, here's the thing.

01:52:46.000 There's something about being contained in a subway where you're in this thing where you know it's a container and you know nobody can get away.

01:52:55.000 There's some weird instinct that people have where if someone was a predator already, I bet they would be in that thing and it would excite their predator desires. 0.97

01:53:05.000 If somebody just was some crazy person that wanted to go on a subway and just beat the shit out of somebody. 0.97

01:53:12.000 We all know there's people like that in the world, right? 1.00

01:53:14.000 They just want to go and hurt somebody for whatever reason.

01:53:17.000 That's the place to do it, right?

01:53:18.000 They're trapped.

01:53:20.000 If you want to eat somebody, the subway's the move.

01:53:22.000 And I think a lot of schizophrenics and people, well, in PCP, it freaks them out more and more.

01:53:28.000 They feel like they're in a confined space and they freak out.

01:53:34.000 They attack.

01:53:36.000 I guess that cop that shot, or remember the guy that recently got shot?

01:53:40.000 I guess that guy had PCP in his system.

01:53:43.000 So says.

01:53:44.000 So says.

01:53:45.000 So says who?

01:53:46.000 Alex Jones.

01:53:46.000 Did you see Alex Jones?

01:53:47.000 Let's stay on one subject at a time, you fucking OCD, ADD fuck. 1.00

01:53:53.000 This guy had PCP in his system? 1.00

01:53:55.000 Yeah, the girl cop that shot. 0.99

01:53:57.000 Imagine if they faked that, and he didn't have any PCP in his system.

01:54:00.000 Right. 1.00

01:54:03.000 Who's checking that shit? 1.00

01:54:04.000 Where'd that happen? 1.00

01:54:05.000 Wasn't it like North Carolina or some shit? 0.99

01:54:07.000 Where was that? 0.99

01:54:12.000 Tulsa, Oklahoma?

01:54:13.000 Yeah, they faked that.

01:54:16.000 That's PCP in Oklahoma.

01:54:17.000 They rigged that.

01:54:19.000 Maybe.

01:54:19.000 Maybe he did.

01:54:20.000 Maybe that makes sense.

01:54:22.000 Even if he wasn't threatening, maybe that makes sense why he wasn't listening.

01:54:26.000 Why he walked back to his car and reached into his door. 0.99

01:54:29.000 Maybe he was fucked up on PCP. It totally makes sense. 0.99

01:54:34.000 Yeah, well, she shot him apparently, what I've understood by people that are around law enforcement and tactical situations.

01:54:42.000 When people don't have trigger discipline and they haven't been in a firefight before, any kind of situation where your adrenaline is jacked and you're really scared for your life.

01:54:54.000 And she might have been in some before, which maybe even could exacerbate that and jack it up.

01:54:59.000 But her adrenaline was jacked. 1.00

01:55:01.000 She was shit in her pants. 1.00

01:55:02.000 This dude wasn't listening. 1.00

01:55:03.000 And then they tased the guy.

01:55:05.000 And my friend Justin said to me, what most likely happened is when they tased the guy, she freaked out and pulled the trigger.

01:55:14.000 Absolutely.

01:55:15.000 Because it's loud.

01:55:16.000 It's a loud popping noise, you know, when you tase somebody.

01:55:18.000 I think what he's saying is that she didn't even mean to shoot this guy.

01:55:23.000 And that what happened with her was she just didn't have good trigger discipline.

01:55:26.000 And she freaked out because...

01:55:28.000 You know, man, if you've never been in a life-or-death situation with a giant dude who might be on PCP, or might be on something, he's not listening.

01:55:35.000 PCP's scary.

01:55:36.000 I mean, there's many videos you can watch a guy on PCP at McDonald's, you know, battling cops and stuff like that, and he gets tased a million times and nothing happens.

01:55:45.000 Yeah, dude, you gotta be careful.

01:55:48.000 PCP people, they feel pain different.

01:55:50.000 This cop in Texas the other day just tased somebody on a highway and almost got hit by a truck.

01:55:56.000 They were chasing this guy and this guy starts running through this highway.

01:56:00.000 So the cop tasers him.

01:56:02.000 The guy falls and just misses a truck by an inch.

01:56:06.000 Why would you tase somebody while running on the highway while cars are stopped? 0.99

01:56:10.000 Because you don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:56:11.000 Stop running, bitch. 1.00

01:56:13.000 But it depends on what the dude did. 1.00

01:56:14.000 What if the dude was raping kids? 0.95

01:56:16.000 True. 0.99

01:56:16.000 Perfect tase. 0.99

01:56:17.000 Right?

01:56:17.000 It's all legit.

01:56:18.000 It depends on... 0.52

01:56:19.000 Like, if the guy was growing weed, that's ridiculous.

01:56:21.000 Right.

01:56:22.000 We need to find out what his crime was.

01:56:24.000 But there's also a helicopter on you, so maybe let the guy cross the road and we'll get you on the other side.

01:56:29.000 What if we don't get him? 0.99

01:56:29.000 What if we don't get him and he's out there fucking kids? 0.99

01:56:32.000 What if it's like Spider-Man, if you don't get him? 1.00

01:56:34.000 This is craziness.

01:56:36.000 And Peter Parker, remember, he let his dad go, or he let his uncle, he let the guy pass his uncle, and the guy wound up.

01:56:43.000 Let me see how they do this.

01:56:44.000 Bam. 1.00

01:56:47.000 Oh, shit! 1.00

01:56:49.000 And then he has to go on there and stop cars. 1.00

01:56:51.000 Oh, shit! 1.00

01:56:52.000 Oh my god, he tased him in the middle of the lane. 1.00

01:56:55.000 I know.

01:56:56.000 On the highway.

01:56:56.000 And if you go back 30 seconds, when he first jumps on the highway, he almost gets hit like three times.

01:57:01.000 Like, it's ridiculous. 0.67

01:57:02.000 Did you know... 0.97

01:57:02.000 Oh, it does. 0.97

01:57:03.000 Did you know that you could, um...

01:57:07.000 You could tase someone from that far away?

01:57:09.000 Look how far he does this far.

01:57:10.000 Oh, it's the ones that shoot out those three claws. 0.71

01:57:12.000 I know, but look at this.

01:57:12.000 Yeah, it's pretty good.

01:57:13.000 That's an accurate hit. 0.99

01:57:15.000 Damn, that's under pressure. 0.99

01:57:16.000 That's good trigger discipline. 0.99

01:57:18.000 Yeah.

01:57:18.000 Good control.

01:57:20.000 Accuracy is in check.

01:57:23.000 I found a taser in my car recently, and it's scary to turn on.

01:57:28.000 See, here's the thing, man.

01:57:29.000 Even if that dude was on PCP, she shouldn't have shot him.

01:57:32.000 It doesn't make it any different.

01:57:33.000 It just sort of explains his weird behavior.

01:57:35.000 She made a mistake.

01:57:37.000 But it's a mistake that cost somebody their life, but it's also like... 0.99

01:57:41.000 The whole thing is kind of fucked up, man. 0.96

01:57:44.000 Having a girl in that kind of a situation, I don't know what kind of training she had or how long she had been on the job. 0.99

01:57:50.000 Do you know?

01:57:51.000 Five...

01:57:53.000 Five years? 1.00

01:57:54.000 Let's make some shit up. 1.00

01:57:55.000 Five decades? 0.99

01:57:57.000 I'm gonna say five years.

01:57:57.000 She was 52. Five to seven years.

01:57:59.000 Fifty of those years, we're on the force. 0.96

01:58:04.000 I just think it's fucking terribly hard to do. 0.98

01:58:07.000 And we don't get mad if somebody fucks up your fries. 0.98

01:58:09.000 You know, if you go to McDonald's and you got burnt fries, like, these guys fucked the fries up. 0.98

01:58:15.000 This is the equivalent in her job of fucking up the fries. 1.00

01:58:19.000 Somebody dies. 0.97

01:58:20.000 She made a mistake. 0.92

01:58:21.000 She screwed up. 0.97

01:58:23.000 Somebody got shot and killed. 0.94

01:58:25.000 It's so much different than any other job.

01:58:27.000 It's so crazy.

01:58:30.000 I Believe that it probably is exactly the sound of the taser in her and it being a high stress that makes complete sense to me I mean, I think you're you just react by hearing the sound and my buddy Justin would definitely know because he's he's down with all those Tactical guys and military guys and he's a he's a gun nut. 0.99

01:58:48.000 He's constantly around those dudes So if that's what they're saying, that's most likely what happened It's probably what she relayed in private or what they figured out or who knows but Man, fuck that job. 0.99

01:59:01.000 Imagine just chasing after people that are committing crimes all day. 1.00

01:59:05.000 Holy shit! 1.00

01:59:06.000 How stressful would that be, man? 1.00

01:59:08.000 She was a five-year veteran, yes, correct.

01:59:11.000 Boom! 0.99

01:59:12.000 Mic drop.

01:59:15.000 Yeah.

01:59:16.000 It's just weird, man.

01:59:18.000 It's just weird that we need them, and it's weird that they become what they are, you know?

01:59:23.000 They become this death dealer.

01:59:26.000 Or lifesaver, you know?

01:59:28.000 If someone's coming after you and the cops break in, they're the lifesaver.

01:59:31.000 Like, what a crazy position for someone to take, you know? 0.99

01:59:36.000 Fucking stressful! 0.99

01:59:39.000 I would never do that. 1.00

01:59:40.000 Fuck that! 1.00

01:59:41.000 Especially nowadays. 1.00

01:59:42.000 It's even worse.

01:59:43.000 I mean, it probably was cooler back then because you got away with so much, you know?

01:59:46.000 Did you see the 7-5?

01:59:48.000 7-5.

01:59:49.000 The documentary, the 7-5?

01:59:50.000 No. 1.00

01:59:52.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:59:53.000 Okay? 0.99

01:59:54.000 And, uh...

01:59:55.000 We had Mike Dowd from the movie come in and explain to us what it was like back then.

02:00:05.000 He's a great guy.

02:00:06.000 By the way, he's been on Joey's podcast, too.

02:00:09.000 How do you spell his name?

02:00:12.000 D-O-W-D. D-O-W-D. That's the way it sounds.

02:00:16.000 He's awesome.

02:00:17.000 Yeah, I didn't want to fuck it up.

02:00:19.000 But I think it's just the real Mike Dowd on Twitter.

02:00:21.000 What is he on Twitter? 1.00

02:00:24.000 Great guy, but holy shit, was he a criminal? 1.00

02:00:27.000 Really? 1.00

02:00:28.000 Oh my god!

02:00:29.000 The cops at the 75th Precinct, he found out from like, it's an amazing documentary, and he found out from like the very first week on the job, like in that range, that the cops were all corrupt.

02:00:42.000 And that you never turned on one of your own.

02:00:46.000 They had rules that they would skirt around.

02:00:49.000 And he got deeper and deeper ingrained in this world of crime while you're a police officer.

02:00:57.000 Drug dealing while you're a police officer.

02:01:00.000 Intimidation while you're police.

02:01:02.000 Protection while you're a police officer.

02:01:04.000 And he's driving a Corvette. 0.90

02:01:06.000 And live in like a bar, and they're going on trips, and they're driving a boat, and then a bunch of crazy shit happens, and one guy rats the other guy out. 0.98

02:01:13.000 It's madness! 0.99

02:01:15.000 It's fucking great, dude. 0.99

02:01:17.000 It's a great documentary. 0.98

02:01:19.000 And also, he's like super honest about the whole thing.

02:01:22.000 He's super honest about everything, because he went to jail, did his time, and then got out, and then they made the documentary.

02:01:27.000 Because it's all about like, it's like the 1980s. 0.94

02:01:31.000 It's fucking amazing, dude. 0.87

02:01:33.000 It's a great documentary. 0.99

02:01:35.000 Nick DiPaolo told me about it.

02:01:37.000 You still get it.

02:01:38.000 I think it's on iTunes.

02:01:40.000 I think it's on everything. 0.96

02:01:41.000 It's fucking good, dude. 0.97

02:01:44.000 Did you look at the video yet of the pigeons in the bread factory in Russia? 0.98

02:01:49.000 No, no, I haven't liked that.

02:01:50.000 It's disturbing. 0.99

02:01:51.000 There's this mill filled with grain, and these pigeons are eating from the top of it, and they're so stupid that they just get sucked into the grain. 1.00

02:02:01.000 Oh, Jesus! 1.00

02:02:02.000 And chopped up into the bread.

02:02:03.000 So, like, if you've had bread in Russia lately...

02:02:06.000 A lot of it is pigeons.

02:02:07.000 A lot of it is pigeons. 1.00

02:02:08.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:02:09.000 Boom, boom, two down! 1.00

02:02:10.000 Oh, yeah.

02:02:11.000 Oh my god, three down.

02:02:13.000 Oh Jesus Christ!

02:02:15.000 One of them falls and lands in it and just gets sucked in.

02:02:18.000 This is insane. 1.00

02:02:20.000 This is fucking insane. 0.99

02:02:23.000 It's one of the most disturbing... 0.99

02:02:24.000 Jamie, immediately make me a video of this and send it to my phone so I can Instagram this.

02:02:30.000 The world needs to know more.

02:02:33.000 Yeah, it's uh... 1.00

02:02:34.000 Fuck, that's harsh. 1.00

02:02:35.000 It's very gross and scary and sad. 1.00

02:02:39.000 It's just a harsh life. 1.00

02:02:41.000 How dumb are pigeons, too? 1.00

02:02:43.000 Well, look how little their heads are. 1.00

02:02:44.000 Imagine if your head was that little...

02:02:46.000 Yeah, I guess so, but...

02:02:52.000 Yeah, I guess so.

02:02:53.000 I mean, Zika babies grow up to be pretty smart. 1.00

02:02:56.000 Nope, we haven't had any.

02:02:58.000 That's true.

02:02:58.000 Actually, hasn't Zika babies...

02:02:59.000 Grown up.

02:03:00.000 Oh, really?

02:03:00.000 I don't think so.

02:03:01.000 I mean, not that I've ever heard of.

02:03:03.000 I just made that up.

02:03:04.000 I think there's actually adult Zika babies.

02:03:06.000 Are there?

02:03:06.000 I think so, because I was thinking a bit about making Zika hats for Zika people so it makes it look like their heads are bigger.

02:03:15.000 I don't want to start a conspiracy on it, but I read recently that Zika's been around for a long time.

02:03:20.000 Yes.

02:03:21.000 And then I just looked it up now, it says since the 1940s is when it was first discovered.

02:03:25.000 Yes.

02:03:26.000 There's actually Zika adults, and they look like Zika babies by growing up. 0.99

02:03:30.000 Yeah, Google that.

02:03:31.000 Google Zika adults.

02:03:33.000 Hmm.

02:03:35.000 There's some pictures of, like, really, really old pictures of people with weird deformities that you think of, like carnival pictures and shit like that.

02:03:44.000 I wonder how many of those were that kind of a thing.

02:03:46.000 I don't want to say, like, Beetlejuice?

02:03:49.000 No, that's...

02:03:50.000 I don't know.

02:03:52.000 Yeah, maybe.

02:03:52.000 Yeah, who knows?

02:03:54.000 I mean...

02:03:55.000 Little errors in the scripts that make a person.

02:03:58.000 Now, what are those errors?

02:03:59.000 What is this?

02:04:00.000 Oh, my God.

02:04:02.000 Zika virus.

02:04:04.000 Microcephalacy suffers.

02:04:07.000 Cephalopathy.

02:04:08.000 He seems normal.

02:04:09.000 Microcephalopathy suffers campaign.

02:04:13.000 Wow.

02:04:14.000 How many people, though...

02:04:15.000 Oh, that's crazy.

02:04:16.000 How many people are Zika, but they just have hats and you never know they're Zika?

02:04:20.000 See, is that a thing?

02:04:22.000 Hold on, go back to the picture.

02:04:24.000 That's crazy. 1.00

02:04:24.000 There's a fucking bug that makes your head smaller. 1.00

02:04:28.000 Just stop and think about how insane that is. 1.00

02:04:30.000 We need to eradicate that bug.

02:04:33.000 There's a bug that makes your baby's head smaller. 1.00

02:04:36.000 Okay, I don't give a fuck what is going on in Russia. 1.00

02:04:39.000 We need to kill all these goddamn bugs. 1.00

02:04:41.000 Stop worrying about stupid shit. 1.00

02:04:43.000 There's people that are going to be born with little tiny heads. 1.00

02:04:45.000 Well, they're also killing bees in a lot of cities.

02:04:48.000 They're spraying for these Zika's. 1.00

02:04:50.000 Mosquitoes are bees.

02:04:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:04:52.000 It's all fucked up, dude. 1.00

02:04:53.000 It's all fucked up. 1.00

02:04:54.000 From top to bottom. 1.00

02:04:55.000 It's fucked up. 1.00

02:04:56.000 Birth defects. 0.99

02:04:57.000 Ooh.

02:04:58.000 Scary.

02:04:59.000 Terrifying.

02:05:01.000 It's just terrifying to think that there's bugs that can just...

02:05:05.000 I mean, when you hear things like the Spanish plague, that like one flu or the Spanish flu, one flu in like the 1800s.

02:05:13.000 Yeah.

02:05:13.000 Or was it 1800s or 1900s?

02:05:15.000 What was the Spanish flu?

02:05:16.000 I want to say the 1800s.

02:05:17.000 1800s, 1890s.

02:05:19.000 You know, I know this is my grasp of history.

02:05:21.000 Ready?

02:05:21.000 Yeah.

02:05:22.000 Because in an interview with a vampire...

02:05:28.000 The dude that plays Brad Pitt had the Spanish flu, and he was a soldier, and he was dying in 1918. There you go.

02:05:38.000 Yeah.

02:05:39.000 He was so old-timey, basically, folks.

02:05:44.000 Yeah, the dude who played Brad Pitt's character, or Brad Pitt's character, dude Brad Pitt played.

02:05:49.000 It's hard to say.

02:05:50.000 He died with that flu, and the stat gave him the vampire gene.

02:05:55.000 Got real issues after that, bro.

02:05:58.000 Didn't really like being a vampire.

02:06:01.000 Didn't really like choking on people's blood.

02:06:04.000 Drink his own daughter's blood.

02:06:05.000 It's kind of dark.

02:06:06.000 We were talking about Westworld earlier.

02:06:08.000 It reminded me of something, a thought I had on here.

02:06:10.000 A couple people mentioned some things about, I think, dimensions, maybe.

02:06:15.000 It might have had to do with string theory, but I had to go with the story.

02:06:18.000 I think I showed you this story before.

02:06:20.000 This came out earlier this year about some scientists have found out that the human brain, the size of it, or at least what it can store, might be way more than they thought previously, based on the way the brain...

02:06:32.000 Codes, what it's calling bits.

02:06:33.000 They need to stop the study right now and examine Redband.

02:06:37.000 My only point on this is that there is like 26, up to 26 neural pathways they discovered in the brain, which allows for more maybe thought storage than they knew about.

02:06:47.000 But when the person came on to mention dimensions in the past a couple months ago, I'd never heard that there was up to 26 dimensions possibly.

02:06:57.000 I'd always heard it was 11. Yeah, and this was the first time I heard 26, which made me go back to something I had just heard about what had 26 to do with it in the brain, and it was this.

02:07:07.000 Okay, so it says according to superstring theory, there are at least 10 dimensions in the universe.

02:07:12.000 M theory actually suggests there are 11 dimensions to space-time.

02:07:16.000 And then bosonic string theory suggests 26 dimensions.

02:07:21.000 What is bosonic string theory?

02:07:23.000 I had never heard that term either.

02:07:24.000 But I was just kind of asking in a strange way, like, do you think that those could be related in any way?

02:07:30.000 Dude, when you see that stuff they're writing down, those yellow legal paths, and those string theorists are going off, and they're doing computations, like, you just gotta take their word for it. 0.51

02:07:39.000 Like, you can't even try to rationally understand how the fuck some dude is looking at a notebook and figuring out how many dimensions there are potentially in the universe. 0.96

02:07:50.000 What? 0.79

02:07:50.000 Bosonic is the original version of string theory. 0.79

02:07:53.000 Now they're on super string theory or super symmetric string theory.

02:07:57.000 You know, there's a pushback about this stuff from people, and I don't know if the people that push back are smart enough to actually be hanging in there with these dudes and their ideas.

02:08:06.000 I don't know who's right.

02:08:08.000 It's way, way, way over my head.

02:08:10.000 I see them talking about this stuff. 0.99

02:08:11.000 I don't have a fucking clue. 0.96

02:08:14.000 The stuff that fascinates me, I mean, that fascinates me for sure, but it's so, what's the word, ethereal? 0.98

02:08:20.000 It's so misty.

02:08:23.000 It doesn't seem like I can grab it.

02:08:25.000 But quantum physics, like the guys who are actually studying things, like the guys who are looking at subatomic things, that fascinates me.

02:08:34.000 Like where they can actually, like things being in a state of movement and then being still, you know, they've discovered that in subatomic particles.

02:08:44.000 It's called a super state.

02:08:46.000 There's moving and still at the same time.

02:08:48.000 Like what?

02:08:49.000 What does that mean?

02:08:51.000 They don't know, but they're observing it.

02:08:52.000 They're observing particles blink in and out of existence.

02:08:55.000 And so I'm sure they have some mathematical computations that go along with that, but the bottom line is they're actually observing this stuff. 0.98

02:09:01.000 This isn't something that, you know, they're writing down on notebooks and you can't get it, and, you know, I don't know that language, so I don't know what the fuck they're getting at.

02:09:10.000 These are people observing subatomic particles blinking in and out of existence, and they don't know where they're going. 0.92

02:09:18.000 This is real. 0.77

02:09:19.000 This is where scientists are going, holy shit, the smallest visible matter in Earth, in the world, in the universe, the smallest measurable matter, subatomic particles, 0.97

02:09:35.000 it's magic. 0.94

02:09:37.000 So when you get to the very bottom, you get to the smallest thing that we can currently observe, You're looking at things that perform magic.

02:09:46.000 They go in and out of existence.

02:09:49.000 They're there and they're gone.

02:09:50.000 They're still and they're moving.

02:09:53.000 They're like a god. 0.98

02:09:55.000 They're like a crazy magician. 0.99

02:09:58.000 They're like a psychedelic trip. 0.98

02:10:01.000 At the smallest measurable amount of reality, the universe behaves like a magic trick. 0.99

02:10:08.000 That's fucking amazing. 0.92

02:10:11.000 It's mostly nothing? 0.99

02:10:13.000 Like an atom is mostly nothing?

02:10:16.000 It's probably still there.

02:10:17.000 It probably does a trick to the eye of not being able to see it.

02:10:20.000 Maybe.

02:10:21.000 Could be.

02:10:21.000 But I don't think if they're using an eye to measure it.

02:10:23.000 They're using some pretty sophisticated equipment.

02:10:25.000 Right.

02:10:26.000 They're pretty sure that this thing, somehow or another, disappears and reappears.

02:10:31.000 And they don't know how.

02:10:32.000 And you might be right.

02:10:33.000 They might be able to come up with better and better equipment than 10 years from now.

02:10:36.000 They go, oh, that's not what we were seeing.

02:10:39.000 We were seeing this.

02:10:40.000 It's totally possible.

02:10:40.000 But they're all saying it right now.

02:10:43.000 And if they're right, I mean, this is not like a debated thing. 0.99

02:10:46.000 The fact that subatomic particles blink in and out of existence, I think all those super smart dudes accept that shit. 0.99

02:10:53.000 That's magic, dude. 0.98

02:10:55.000 They're going away and coming back. 0.99

02:10:56.000 Like, where the fuck are they going? 0.99

02:10:58.000 What's happening in there? 0.99

02:10:59.000 How's that thing moving and still?

02:11:01.000 Well, it just is.

02:11:02.000 What?

02:11:03.000 I mean, what are you looking at?

02:11:06.000 A new discovery by the Large Hadron Collider.

02:11:09.000 Oh, Jesus Christ!

02:11:11.000 Or, I don't know, official discovery, but it's a new theory.

02:11:13.000 Large Hadron Collider set to discover fifth dimension and doorway to other universes.

02:11:19.000 Jesus Christ!

02:11:21.000 This is not good!

02:11:23.000 This is a movie! 1.00

02:11:26.000 They're gonna open that fucking doorway, and those grays are gonna be waiting on the other side. 1.00

02:11:31.000 They're gonna take your eggs. 1.00

02:11:32.000 Do you have any eggs?

02:11:34.000 If you have eggs, they're gonna take you. 0.96

02:11:37.000 In the middle of the night.

02:11:40.000 Speaking of eggs, did you hear that there's one of those places that gets like sperm and eggs and...

02:11:46.000 Yeah, they made a person with three people's DNA. No.

02:11:49.000 What?

02:11:50.000 You didn't hear about that?

02:11:50.000 What's that?

02:11:51.000 They combine the DNA of three people and through in vitro fertilization made a baby.

02:11:59.000 And the baby was born.

02:12:00.000 So there's a baby born with a DNA of three people.

02:12:03.000 Wow.

02:12:04.000 Not two people, but three people.

02:12:05.000 How did they mix it?

02:12:06.000 Like gargling?

02:12:07.000 They just...

02:12:08.000 I don't know.

02:12:09.000 They just did. 1.00

02:12:11.000 We just put it in the bitch's mouth and tried to gargle and spit it in his cup. 1.00

02:12:15.000 Don't use that word, bitch, in this show. 1.00

02:12:17.000 It's just so rude. 1.00

02:12:18.000 Britch.

02:12:19.000 Hey, where did that take place?

02:12:20.000 That baby?

02:12:21.000 Was that born in, like, Russia?

02:12:24.000 When I came up on...

02:12:25.000 I just Googled it.

02:12:26.000 There's an actual FAQ on WebMD about it, so it's...

02:12:30.000 Oh, really?

02:12:30.000 What are they saying?

02:12:31.000 Baby's definitely gay or no? 1.00

02:12:33.000 I found another article. 1.00

02:12:35.000 It's going to be a gay gladiator. 1.00

02:12:36.000 It's going to be the most handsome... 0.98

02:12:37.000 It's about the technique is safe on BBC News.

02:12:39.000 Whoa.

02:12:40.000 Three-person babies IVF technique safe.

02:12:43.000 Okay, if you say so, dude.

02:12:44.000 That's awesome.

02:12:45.000 I got to take your word for it.

02:12:46.000 I don't know what that means, that it's safe.

02:12:48.000 We don't know.

02:12:48.000 I mean, how many people have been born?

02:12:50.000 Do we have a real good study group?

02:12:52.000 It said, 500 eggs from 64 donor women found that the new procedure did not adversely affect embryo development.

02:12:58.000 That's what you say now. 1.00

02:12:59.000 When that baby grows up to read your fucking mind, you got a problem. 1.00

02:13:03.000 Imagine if they put chips in these kids when they were little. 1.00

02:13:06.000 Like kill chips. 0.97

02:13:07.000 We don't know how this is going to work out.

02:13:09.000 Just in case this dude goes on a murderous rampage, we want to be able to have a button that we can press that just shuts him off.

02:13:15.000 Because if you have a designer baby, your baby could be like a super athlete, super genius, but we don't know long-term consequences. 0.93

02:13:22.000 So if you agree to this, we'll put the chip in your baby and we'll give you a kill switch.

02:13:27.000 So if your baby goes on a rampage, if it all goes wrong, we'll give a kill switch. 0.99

02:13:31.000 But the parents of the babies, the super babies, are going to be pissed. 1.00

02:13:33.000 How come these fucking regular babies don't have a kill switch? 1.00

02:13:36.000 You think about all the goddamn murderers that have ever existed all throughout time. 1.00

02:13:40.000 None of them were super babies. 1.00

02:13:41.000 So you're blaming my kids. 1.00

02:13:43.000 You're blaming my super kids for all the shit you regular kids do? 1.00

02:13:46.000 You want my kid to have a fucking chip that you can kill him? 1.00

02:13:49.000 Everybody's got to have a chip where you can kill him. 1.00

02:13:51.000 So we all sign an agreement because we want to keep the people safe from the super baby. 0.96

02:13:54.000 So everybody signs an agreement that everybody has a chip in the back of their head.

02:13:57.000 And we all wear chips.

02:13:58.000 Regular babies, super babies, and everybody just stays so polite because you're terrified.

02:14:03.000 You're terrified that the government is going to come along and kill switch your chip.

02:14:08.000 That's the key to a healthy, happy society.

02:14:12.000 Everyone's terrified of getting your kill switch hit.

02:14:15.000 That's the future.

02:14:17.000 That's what we have to look forward to.

02:14:18.000 You're close to the...

02:14:19.000 Remember that movie Gattaca with Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman?

02:14:22.000 Oh, they have a kill switch?

02:14:23.000 It wasn't kill switch, but when you're born, you're either valid or not invalid, I think is what it was.

02:14:28.000 That's true in real life, too. 0.99

02:14:30.000 Invalid people are the highest society, and invalids do all the rest of the shit work. 1.00

02:14:34.000 He tricks himself to become a valid. 0.99

02:14:36.000 That's what the movie's all about.

02:14:38.000 He tricks his code?

02:14:40.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.98

02:14:40.000 He gets a fake fingerprint, fake hair, fake eyes, and all this shit, and all the sensors. 0.98

02:14:44.000 This is the early 90s, or late 90s, I feel like. 0.97

02:14:48.000 If somebody creates a synthetic person, you're telling me the synthetic person's not going to have a kill switch?

02:14:54.000 If you don't know what that guy's capable of, if someone says, well, there is one option.

02:14:59.000 What if they try to pass it through Congress? 1.00

02:15:01.000 Congress is like, fuck you. 1.00

02:15:03.000 And then someone says, okay, there's a solution. 1.00

02:15:05.000 What if every synthetic kid is born with a kill switch? 0.73

02:15:10.000 And then they go, okay, well, it's reasonable.

02:15:12.000 It's reasonable.

02:15:13.000 And then everybody, by 2070, we're all born with a kill switch.

02:15:17.000 There's no more crime.

02:15:18.000 Every now and then someone freaks out and they just zap, drop them, chop them up, feed it to the garden.

02:15:25.000 I remember that other movie, that Justin Timberlake movie where he's got a time, in time, and everyone's 25 and then they all die. 1.00

02:15:32.000 You watch too many movies, motherfucker. 1.00

02:15:34.000 Justin Timberlake movie. 1.00

02:15:35.000 It's a future movie.

02:15:36.000 I didn't know you made a movie.

02:15:37.000 The concept was really good.

02:15:38.000 Timberlake was in a few movies.

02:15:39.000 Really?

02:15:40.000 Timberlake did a bunch of movies.

02:15:41.000 He was actually a good actor.

02:15:43.000 Alpha Dog?

02:15:44.000 Something else.

02:15:45.000 He was in something else, too.

02:15:46.000 He's a good actor.

02:15:49.000 I like Timberlake.

02:15:50.000 The movie In Time, it was a really cool concept.

02:15:52.000 Once you get 25, you stop aging, and then you're, whatever, a year of life starts going, but that's all the currency, too.

02:16:01.000 You work for time, you can trade time, you spend time, and then once your time's up, you're done.

02:16:07.000 But people have thousands and centuries of years built up on their little clock.

02:16:11.000 Right, so like a sultan of Brunei or some super rich dude could live forever.

02:16:16.000 Huh.

02:16:20.000 Listen man, all this we're talking about when it comes to the future, about what could happen, like these silly science fiction movies, they're probably pale in comparison to how crazy it's actually gonna be.

02:16:34.000 Playing VR, you got to play Duncan's VR. How awesome was that?

02:16:39.000 Scary.

02:16:40.000 Was it Scary Awesome?

02:16:41.000 Scary Awesome and awesome in a way where you go, well, it's not like right now.

02:16:45.000 I knew I had goggles on.

02:16:47.000 I knew I was playing a video game where you're on a castle and these little cartoons are bouncing and you shoot bows and arrows at them.

02:16:53.000 Have you played that one yet?

02:16:54.000 I haven't played it, but I know what you're talking about.

02:16:56.000 It's really fun.

02:16:57.000 Yeah.

02:16:57.000 So part of you is like, whoa, this is so cool.

02:17:00.000 But there's another part of you that goes, you know where this is going, right?

02:17:03.000 Where this is going, and this is not that far of a time.

02:17:08.000 You gotta think, when we were watching that phonograph, when's that phonograph from, Jamie?

02:17:12.000 The late 1800s.

02:17:14.000 Yeah.

02:17:14.000 1880s.

02:17:15.000 So let's give it 1880. Let's say 1880. Think about 1880 to 2016. That's not very fucking long.

02:17:23.000 So we've gone from a phonograph to a fake world in, what? 0.96

02:17:28.000 A couple hundred Yeah, a thousand years.

02:17:32.000 Exactly.

02:17:32.000 We're in it right now.

02:17:33.000 It could be.

02:17:35.000 Well, it could be.

02:17:35.000 That's why this election is happening.

02:17:38.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:17:38.000 That's why this thing is so ridiculous. 0.99

02:17:40.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:17:40.000 It could be that it's happening right now. 0.98

02:17:42.000 The PlayStation just released their virtual reality today, or last night.

02:17:48.000 For the first time, it's a price point that's going to hit the masses.

02:17:54.000 A lot more people are going to have it.

02:17:57.000 This was a huge day yesterday.

02:18:00.000 There's one of the games that comes with it, I believe, is where you're underwater.

02:18:05.000 And it's not really a game.

02:18:06.000 You're just hanging out and a shark comes close to you and you get attacked by a shark.

02:18:10.000 But I guess it's so scary that you're like...

02:18:15.000 And that's just the Atari 2600 of VR. You know, what is going to happen?

02:18:21.000 It's going to be insane.

02:18:22.000 If it hasn't already.

02:18:23.000 I mean, we both remember Pong.

02:18:25.000 Oh, yeah.

02:18:26.000 I have my Pong.

02:18:26.000 It was amazing.

02:18:27.000 Yeah.

02:18:27.000 Right?

02:18:27.000 But when it first came out, you were amazed.

02:18:29.000 You can actually interact with something that's on the TV. Yeah.

02:18:32.000 It was insane.

02:18:33.000 That was so good.

02:18:35.000 It was so crazy.

02:18:36.000 It wasn't that big.

02:18:37.000 You're like, look how little it is.

02:18:38.000 When we're playing, they stick a cartridge in there.

02:18:41.000 It was awesome.

02:18:46.000 And compare that to this new doom, you know?

02:18:50.000 I mean, what we're seeing now in just a short amount of time is insane.

02:18:55.000 I mean, we've got a giant jump of progress in 200 years. 0.90

02:19:02.000 So what the fuck is it gonna be in less than 200 years, right? 0.94

02:19:05.000 Did you say 1880s? 0.98

02:19:07.000 I mean, that's...

02:19:08.000 What?

02:19:08.000 Did you see what BMW was announced?

02:19:10.000 I don't know if they just did it yesterday or this week, but it's along this VR stuff.

02:19:13.000 Oh, I did see this.

02:19:14.000 The motorcycle?

02:19:15.000 Yeah.

02:19:16.000 Dude, that's insane.

02:19:17.000 It says you won't get in a wreck and you won't need a helmet.

02:19:19.000 What?

02:19:20.000 It balances itself, dude.

02:19:21.000 I don't know about won't get in a wreck, but...

02:19:23.000 Basically, can't is what they're trying to say.

02:19:25.000 Is it electric?

02:19:25.000 How can it not wreck?

02:19:27.000 Explain that.

02:19:28.000 That doesn't make any sense.

02:19:29.000 Something can still wreck into you, probably.

02:19:32.000 But you can't fall over in it?

02:19:34.000 That's what it's saying?

02:19:35.000 Yeah, that's what it's saying, kind of.

02:19:36.000 If you could fall off it.

02:19:38.000 Yeah.

02:19:38.000 Yeah, maybe.

02:19:39.000 That sounds fun.

02:19:40.000 Yeah.

02:19:41.000 You're going to fall off it because the force that it's going to need to require to correct you.

02:19:46.000 Look at that!

02:19:46.000 Oh my god!

02:19:48.000 That's what it looks like?

02:19:49.000 Yeah, I was trying to find the helmet.

02:19:51.000 Tron.

02:19:51.000 You don't have a helmet, you have a visor.

02:19:53.000 Go to the thing.

02:19:54.000 Here's the head.

02:19:54.000 No, it's not it.

02:19:55.000 Show us a video, bitch! 1.00

02:19:57.000 These are all from, these aren't real, these are all from websites. 1.00

02:20:00.000 Oh my god!

02:20:01.000 Wait, where are you going?

02:20:01.000 Stay there.

02:20:02.000 Open that up.

02:20:03.000 Oh my god, that's real?

02:20:04.000 That's Tron.

02:20:05.000 I don't know that it's out yet, but I don't know if it's outside of concept.

02:20:08.000 Why does she have visors? 1.00

02:20:10.000 The visor gives information including speed and cornering hints It's got a rear view.

02:20:15.000 It's a screen.

02:20:16.000 It's AR, which is what a lot of companies are making a bet on VR or AR, augmented reality.

02:20:21.000 Right, yeah.

02:20:22.000 So this is an AR visor.

02:20:24.000 Your rear view mirror is going to be in that.

02:20:26.000 Your speed disk is going to be in that.

02:20:28.000 Updated info on cars probably ahead of you are going to be in that, especially if it's dark.

02:20:32.000 Dude, that's the Batman thing, right?

02:20:34.000 In the upper right-hand corner?

02:20:35.000 Yeah.

02:20:35.000 The Dark Knight Batman thing?

02:20:37.000 How close is that?

02:20:38.000 Pretty close.

02:20:38.000 I would sue.

02:20:40.000 You're like, bitch, that's my idea. 1.00

02:20:41.000 Even trying. 1.00

02:20:42.000 Goddamn that link. 0.98

02:20:43.000 So it's basically, it looks like the wheels are a little bit wider than a typical motorcycle. 0.99

02:20:48.000 Is there a different profile view where you can see how wide the tires are?

02:20:52.000 Yeah, that's what I am.

02:20:53.000 Okay.

02:20:53.000 No, not much wider.

02:20:55.000 Like a little bit though, right?

02:20:57.000 A little bit wider than a regular motorcycle?

02:20:59.000 They have a car that goes along with this, I think, is what I was hearing, but the car they show seems like it's completely computer generated. 0.99

02:21:05.000 Dude, we're living in the fucking future. 0.99

02:21:07.000 Is this real? 1.00

02:21:08.000 I need to start eating healthy so I can have this someday.

02:21:10.000 Dude, look at this.

02:21:11.000 This is insane.

02:21:13.000 This girl is on this thing, and she's flying around. 0.99

02:21:18.000 In this space-age motorcycle.

02:21:20.000 Oh my god!

02:21:22.000 And looking at the view through these goggles that are showing where everything is.

02:21:28.000 Oh my god, this is amazing!

02:21:32.000 Dude, we live in awesome times.

02:21:34.000 And that's the navigation system?

02:21:36.000 Is that what she's looking at in her goggles?

02:21:37.000 Yeah, you're like, that's what it's gonna be.

02:21:39.000 Oh man, this is amazing!

02:21:42.000 It illuminates the road in front of you?

02:21:44.000 Is that what I was supposed to show?

02:21:45.000 What was that?

02:21:46.000 The acid kicked in.

02:21:48.000 What is this called, Jamie?

02:21:50.000 I don't know.

02:21:51.000 What is the video?

02:21:51.000 Vision Next.

02:21:52.000 I don't know.

02:21:53.000 The future of motorcycling.

02:21:55.000 The BMW Motorrad.

02:21:58.000 What does it say?

02:21:59.000 I'm not on YouTube for this video.

02:22:01.000 This is from the Daily Mail website.

02:22:03.000 Motorrad Vision Next 100. That's sexy.

02:22:07.000 It's pretty dope.

02:22:08.000 But, you know, It's still, like, someone could still run a red light.

02:22:14.000 You can't say that you're not gonna get t-boned.

02:22:18.000 Here's what the car looks like.

02:22:20.000 They got a car that does the same thing? 0.99

02:22:21.000 Hey buddy, check this shit out because the way that this, you're gonna say this is super fake. 0.98

02:22:26.000 The way the shell moves and stuff is so strange looking. 0.99

02:22:30.000 Oh my god, this is crazy!

02:22:32.000 You sit inside of it, you press a button, And a steering wheel pops out of the dashboard.

02:22:40.000 Oh! 0.60

02:22:41.000 What?

02:22:42.000 Is this real?

02:22:42.000 No, no.

02:22:43.000 This is like real tires.

02:22:44.000 Yeah, this is pretty CGI. This is like a CGI. This is what they're saying they are making and whether or not they're going to actually get there.

02:22:50.000 Oh my god, this is dope.

02:22:52.000 So it shows you where debris is on the road ahead and like highlights it.

02:22:59.000 Look, it says there's a biker right there.

02:23:01.000 Yeah, I see it.

02:23:02.000 How does it see that, though?

02:23:04.000 It saw it before.

02:23:05.000 I don't know.

02:23:05.000 It's using different kinds of technology, like probably like radar and pulses and stuff.

02:23:09.000 It's using Big Brother, bro.

02:23:11.000 They're gonna know where you live, bro.

02:23:13.000 What about the handle? 1.00

02:23:14.000 I want an actual steering wheel, bitch. 1.00

02:23:16.000 Don't give me this stupid joystick. 1.00

02:23:18.000 You're not gonna need to drive it because it's gonna be self-driving, so... 0.99

02:23:21.000 Is it really self-driving 100% here?

02:23:25.000 God, do you trust that?

02:23:26.000 I do not trust that.

02:23:28.000 No.

02:23:29.000 I haven't done the Tesla thing yet.

02:23:30.000 Some people don't even change their oil.

02:23:33.000 You know?

02:23:34.000 You think they're going to have this thing maintained properly?

02:23:38.000 Right? 0.95

02:23:38.000 I mean, how many people are out there, you get stuck in a line of traffic, and someone in front of you is just blowing pollution out of the back of their pipe, and you cough in, and they just have a fucked up exhaust system or something? 0.95

02:23:49.000 Did you see that self-driving car that ran over one of its own engineers?

02:23:55.000 He was trying to make a...

02:23:57.000 Trying to show how the car detects people walking.

02:24:00.000 Oh no.

02:24:01.000 And it will slam on the brakes.

02:24:02.000 And so I think it's Volkswagen or something.

02:24:04.000 And the guy just goes, now watch, the car will stop.

02:24:06.000 And it just runs him over.

02:24:09.000 No, really?

02:24:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:24:10.000 Oh, poor bastard. 1.00

02:24:12.000 Yeah, I don't think he got hurt too bad. 1.00

02:24:15.000 But it didn't stop.

02:24:17.000 Well, they'll probably get it down eventually, but you want to be, like, super sure.

02:24:23.000 Here it is.

02:24:24.000 No, please don't tell me that this is going to happen.

02:24:26.000 Here, watch.

02:24:27.000 Oh, no.

02:24:28.000 Oh, my God.

02:24:30.000 Oh, my God.

02:24:31.000 And they did that for a demonstration.

02:24:34.000 The guy had a suit on, his hands in his pocket.

02:24:36.000 That was the one of the engineers, yeah.

02:24:38.000 How about just put a cardboard cutout?

02:24:40.000 Right?

02:24:41.000 Okay?

02:24:41.000 What are we playing?

02:24:42.000 Games here, folks?

02:24:43.000 A real doll?

02:24:44.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:24:45.000 You don't need to do that.

02:24:46.000 What about the crash test dummies?

02:24:47.000 Those guys just disappeared.

02:24:48.000 Exactly.

02:24:49.000 Why don't they have crash test dummies to just stand there? 1.00

02:24:51.000 Fucking idiots. 1.00

02:24:52.000 Don't stand there yourself. 1.00

02:24:52.000 Don't you have a life? 1.00

02:24:53.000 Get hit by a car, bro. 0.98

02:24:55.000 That guy's probably broken. 0.80

02:24:56.000 Probably every part of his body's broken.

02:24:58.000 Yeah.

02:24:58.000 I mean, if you don't think that you're going to get bumped by that car like that, you could easily have a broken hip, broken legs.

02:25:07.000 Fuck that, dude. 1.00

02:25:10.000 I'm very passionate about this. 1.00

02:25:14.000 We're losing our autonomous nature.

02:25:17.000 We're going to eventually be controlled by everything that we have in our life.

02:25:23.000 You're not going to have any freedom to move around.

02:25:26.000 You're going to get in your car.

02:25:28.000 It's going to take you on a path to work.

02:25:30.000 You're going to punch in the data.

02:25:31.000 You'll be allowed to have your own car, but nobody could drive anymore.

02:25:34.000 Well, once we stopped letting people drive their own car, I mean, it was just, first of all, road rage deaths stopped.

02:25:40.000 That's one thing.

02:25:41.000 And it was worth it alone to lose that freedom.

02:25:44.000 You know why you road rage right?

02:25:46.000 You know why you road rage?

02:25:48.000 You road rage because you're scared.

02:25:50.000 When you get in a car and you're going fast, your senses are heightened.

02:25:54.000 You know your senses are heightened.

02:25:56.000 Everything is dangerous.

02:25:57.000 You don't feel it because you feel like, oh, I'm just chilling, going on the road.

02:26:00.000 But you're super aware that you're going fast.

02:26:03.000 You're super aware there's people around you.

02:26:05.000 They're also in these metal boxes. 1.00

02:26:06.000 You've got to trust these idiots to stay in your lane. 1.00

02:26:09.000 You're already on level eight. 1.00

02:26:11.000 So when someone gets in front of you, even if it's like nothing... 0.99

02:26:14.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

02:26:37.000 Fuck, dude! 1.00

02:26:38.000 Fuck you! 1.00

02:26:39.000 Fuck you! 1.00

02:26:40.000 And that's where all that shit comes from. 1.00

02:26:41.000 And then you pull over, bitch! 1.00

02:26:43.000 Pull over, bitch! 1.00

02:26:43.000 I got a gun! 1.00

02:26:44.000 That's where all that shit comes from. 1.00

02:26:47.000 You think your life's on the line when it's really a minor fender bender or a minor traffic infraction or a minor rudeness where someone cut you off where they didn't have to. 1.00

02:26:58.000 Maybe they could have waited a little bit and got behind you.

02:27:01.000 That makes sense.

02:27:02.000 This just happened to me when I left the other night after the Fight Companion.

02:27:05.000 It was like 2 o'clock in the morning.

02:27:06.000 I was almost home in Hollywood.

02:27:08.000 Some cars were in front of a bar.

02:27:10.000 Some cars were blocking the two lanes of road, so everyone was merging over.

02:27:15.000 I merged over. 0.99

02:27:16.000 The guy behind me apparently thought I cut him off, so he started getting up on my ass. 0.99

02:27:20.000 I could tell the guy behind me was pissed. 0.99

02:27:22.000 I was getting that vibe.

02:27:23.000 So I started slowing down to just let him go past me.

02:27:26.000 If he's in a hurry, go for it. 0.99

02:27:27.000 He just pulls up next to me and stops and starts fucking cussing me out, middle finger, all this and that. 0.99

02:27:32.000 And I was like, thumbs up, man. 0.99

02:27:34.000 I'm not in a hurry.

02:27:34.000 I don't know where you're going.

02:27:35.000 I don't know why you're mad. 0.99

02:27:36.000 But I started thinking, oh shit, he's going to follow me around the corner and it's going to have to get serious. 0.98

02:27:41.000 But he just went away. 0.99

02:27:42.000 Some people are just nuts, and some people are angry at everything, right? 0.99

02:27:46.000 They're angry at their wife, they're angry at their job, they're angry at their friend, they're angry at their fucking neighborhood softball league that won't let them pitch. 1.00

02:27:56.000 You know, people are nuts. 0.99

02:27:58.000 You run into someone, that's why getting in those kind of exchanges Like over nothing, over cars getting in front of you. 0.95

02:28:06.000 I used to date this chick. 1.00

02:28:07.000 She was hilarious. 0.53

02:28:09.000 She was very smart, like super smart. 1.00

02:28:12.000 But she also would do, occasionally she would do dumb, reckless shit. 1.00

02:28:17.000 And one thing she would do, if someone cut her off, she'd be like, fuck you! 1.00

02:28:20.000 And she would She'd get in front of the car and cut them off. 1.00

02:28:23.000 It was totally contrary to her regular personality.

02:28:26.000 Her regular personality was super fun-loving, and she was always smiling, but there was something in her head about someone cutting her off. 0.98

02:28:35.000 She was like, fuck that, and she would get in front of them, and she'd cut this dude off. 1.00

02:28:39.000 She had a convertible, too. 1.00

02:28:41.000 A little white convertible BMW. I was like, what What are you doing?

02:28:44.000 What are you doing?

02:28:44.000 You can't just go around doing that.

02:28:48.000 You've gotten lucky.

02:28:49.000 If you do that, someone's going to do something terrible to you.

02:28:53.000 This is a part of the news.

02:28:55.000 Road rage murders.

02:28:57.000 At one point in time, LA had a streak of them where it became trendy.

02:29:00.000 And people were just shooting each other on the freeway during traffic.

02:29:04.000 Like that scene from L.A. story, they made fun of it where he just has a gun and they all have guns.

02:29:09.000 That's what it was based on!

02:29:10.000 When I was a kid, and I had heard, and we would hear in the news about road raid deaths, they were always in California. 0.99

02:29:16.000 And there was people just shooting people like fucking crazy in California. 0.98

02:29:21.000 You just gotta be careful. 0.99

02:29:23.000 You can't cut off the wrong person. 0.98

02:29:25.000 You can't, like, you could fuck up in those situations and you accidentally get killed. 0.96

02:29:33.000 Like, people kill people in road rage incidents all the time. 0.88

02:29:37.000 And I bet the guy who kills the other guy probably regrets it for the rest of his life 99.9% of the time.

02:29:43.000 But you just run into the wrong person at the wrong time and you stand your ground, they stand their ground, and next thing you know there's violence. 1.00

02:29:52.000 Unnecessary, stupid, senseless violence. 1.00

02:29:55.000 There's too many gangsters in LA, especially like people that have way too much money and gang violence. 1.00

02:30:01.000 And so you don't even know who you're fucking with, like a prince that is a billionaire and he'll just like kill you and just be like, fuck it, I'll just go, you know. 1.00

02:30:08.000 Go back to whatever. 1.00

02:30:10.000 LA has most road rage related incidents in the US, study finds.

02:30:15.000 Wow.

02:30:15.000 Of course, I'm not surprised.

02:30:16.000 What's the numbers though?

02:30:18.000 A strange study.

02:30:18.000 An auto insurance center analyzed 65,000 posts on Instagram using hashtag road rage.

02:30:24.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

02:30:25.000 This is kind of the laziest fucking reporting ever. 0.99

02:30:29.000 Well, our detailed analysis of the situation by going to hashtag road rage. 0.99

02:30:34.000 I wrote this article five minutes before I posted it, and fucking California's a lot. 0.97

02:30:39.000 You know what that means? 1.00

02:30:40.000 People just bitch in California. 1.00

02:30:42.000 Oh my god, fucking road rage. 1.00

02:30:44.000 It does say there's more than 1,500 people have been killed or injured in road rage incidents in the U.S. over the last five years. 1.00

02:30:51.000 But what about California?

02:30:52.000 It's got to be.

02:30:54.000 There's got to be like California road rage statistics for 2016. I mean, we have police chases multiple times a day.

02:31:00.000 I mean, I'm watching them non-stop all day.

02:31:02.000 They're the greatest.

02:31:03.000 Don't you think that what's going on with us, though, is that it's just so overpopulated?

02:31:08.000 There's a real frustration that people have, and that's also part of the road rage.

02:31:12.000 It's like, if you try to drive to Orange County at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, if you're leaving downtown LA, and you're trying to make it down to, like, Redondo Beach...

02:31:21.000 Good luck.

02:31:22.000 How many hours is that going to take?

02:31:24.000 At 4. If you leave at 4.30.

02:31:27.000 Oh, you fucked up, dude. 1.00

02:31:28.000 What time did you leave? 1.00

02:31:29.000 I left at 5.02.

02:31:30.000 No!

02:31:31.000 How long did it take you to get home?

02:31:33.000 Three hours.

02:31:34.000 I got three hours in the car.

02:31:36.000 That's normal.

02:31:37.000 That happens.

02:31:38.000 That can happen, dude.

02:31:39.000 You want to go to Newport Beach?

02:31:40.000 You want to live in Newport Beach but work in downtown LA? There's too many of us.

02:31:49.000 I had to go to Culver City, wherever Sony Studios is and all that.

02:31:53.000 It's at Culver City.

02:31:54.000 I had to go there the other day at like 2 in the afternoon.

02:31:57.000 Now on paper, it's like 7 miles from my house or something like that.

02:32:00.000 It took me an hour and 20 minutes to get there the other day.

02:32:04.000 And it's literally like 7 to 10 miles from my house.

02:32:10.000 Yeah, you could almost walk there as quick.

02:32:14.000 Yeah.

02:32:14.000 Yeah, I mean, if you walked, how many miles an hour do you walk?

02:32:17.000 Five?

02:32:18.000 I think if I were on a bicycle, I could have got it half the time, I bet.

02:32:22.000 Hmm.

02:32:23.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:32:24.000 A bike, for sure. 1.00

02:32:26.000 If you didn't get killed by someone with road rage, that's in a fucking, fuck you, with some other guy. 1.00

02:32:32.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:32:33.000 Cutting each other off, and you just get clipped. 1.00

02:32:35.000 Blink!

02:32:36.000 You go flying through the air.

02:32:38.000 People are angry.

02:32:39.000 There's too many of us.

02:32:40.000 But meanwhile, you get in a plane, you fly over the country, you're like, look at all this space.

02:32:44.000 Why are we all huddled up? 0.75

02:32:46.000 Why are we fucking huddled up so much? 0.97

02:32:49.000 Because the ocean. 0.99

02:32:51.000 We need to figure out a way to get the fucking salt out of the ocean in big pipes, pump it to the middle where everything's dry, and let's fix this. 0.97

02:33:00.000 We do have a lot of desalinization plants, if you look it up. 0.98

02:33:03.000 Yeah, it's super expensive and slow.

02:33:05.000 They're not that efficient.

02:33:06.000 It's a very difficult process.

02:33:07.000 It's very expensive.

02:33:08.000 It's not worth it.

02:33:10.000 And even not worth it with water, as Jesse Ventura was saying on before, water being more expensive than oil.

02:33:17.000 It's still not worth it to take the salt out of the water.

02:33:20.000 That's how hard the process is.

02:33:22.000 It's kind of ironic.

02:33:23.000 Right next to the water, we've got a water problem. 0.96

02:33:25.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.92

02:33:26.000 Really, if you stop and think about it. 0.98

02:33:29.000 But when you're flying over and you look down at some of the big dry spots on the way to Vegas, you're like, Jesus.

02:33:37.000 Can't you boil the water out, right?

02:33:39.000 No.

02:33:40.000 Kind of?

02:33:40.000 Go ahead, try it.

02:33:42.000 What am I thinking?

02:33:43.000 Not boil. 1.00

02:33:43.000 Well, you could boil spring water or pond water or lake water, and you kill most of the shit that's in there. 1.00

02:33:50.000 There's some shit that can survive that, though. 1.00

02:33:52.000 They have all these water filters that people take when they're hardcore backpackers. 1.00

02:33:56.000 You could shit in it and drink it. 0.98

02:33:58.000 Well, I was talking about this recently. 0.99

02:33:59.000 I got really into these hardcore backpackers because I was listening to this one podcast where they were talking about the Appalachia Trail.

02:34:07.000 Have you ever heard of that?

02:34:09.000 Appalachia Trail is a trail that goes from Georgia all the way to Maine, and they walk it.

02:34:13.000 It takes five months.

02:34:15.000 That's crazy.

02:34:16.000 Yeah, and they wear the same clothes the entire time.

02:34:18.000 They live off their backpack.

02:34:20.000 I mean, I was listening to these guys talk about it.

02:34:22.000 I'm like, that is nuts, man.

02:34:25.000 That's a nutty way to live.

02:34:27.000 Like, that's a crazy accomplishment.

02:34:28.000 I mean, people think they're badass by doing a marathon.

02:34:31.000 Dude, I ran 26 miles.

02:34:32.000 Took me four hours, but I have perseverance.

02:34:35.000 No, these people are walking to Maine.

02:34:38.000 And it's one of those things, once you start something like that, like, you're kind of committed to it. 0.99

02:34:43.000 You're kind of committed to this stupid thing that's going to take five months. 0.95

02:34:45.000 My friend just did not the whole thing, but he was just there for a part of it for five days, like, last weekend, I think. 1.00

02:34:51.000 He was a Marine, but they just went and camped, and he just put up a Facebook message like, I'm in a hammock, but it's 37 degrees, it's raining, and we're fucked.

02:34:59.000 Well, the point was, they don't know where they're getting their water from. 0.78

02:35:03.000 So a lot of them bring filters, and they have these things that they hang.

02:35:08.000 There's a bunch of different kinds of filters.

02:35:09.000 Some of them actually are straws, and you can take it, and you actually dip into a pond and suck it through this straw, and you can drink it.

02:35:16.000 And then they have other ones where there are gravity filters and they have these buckets and all this shit gets filtered out of the water and then it comes down and it comes out clear. 0.81

02:35:25.000 It's really interesting, man, because these people are using the best state-of-the-art survival technology, that kind of shit, and just drinking out of ponds and stuff. 0.90

02:35:37.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:35:38.000 Yeah, I saw the pee one where the CEO goes, now watch, this is urine, and he makes it and drinks it. 0.57

02:35:43.000 Yeah, but you can drink piss. 0.96

02:35:45.000 Piss doesn't even taste that bad.

02:35:46.000 I know.

02:35:47.000 It's nothing.

02:35:49.000 I drank my own piss a bunch of times.

02:35:51.000 There's a video of you drinking piss on the internet.

02:35:52.000 Yeah, of me and this dude, no name.

02:35:54.000 Yeah. 0.77

02:35:55.000 Because someone had told me that drinking your own piss was really good.

02:35:59.000 It had vitamins and minerals in it, and stuff that came out of your body.

02:36:03.000 Yeah.

02:36:03.000 The fighter guy.

02:36:05.000 There's been a bunch of them.

02:36:06.000 A bunch of people.

02:36:07.000 Lyoto Machida did it. 0.94

02:36:08.000 He was kind of famous for drinking your own piss. 0.99

02:36:11.000 And so I went, well, what the fuck is this about? 1.00

02:36:13.000 And I drank it a couple of times. 0.99

02:36:14.000 And I was thinking after I drank it, I can't believe I just drank my piss. 0.99

02:36:18.000 Like, what the fuck is wrong with me? 0.98

02:36:22.000 Yeah, me and that dude. 0.99

02:36:23.000 So we both just whipped it out and peed in a cup, and then we drank it in the air.

02:36:30.000 That's the dude, incidentally.

02:36:31.000 That's no name.

02:36:32.000 That's the dude who introduced me to nootropics, believe it or not.

02:36:38.000 How ironic and appropriate. 1.00

02:36:40.000 We're about to do something really stupid. 0.99

02:36:42.000 Let's get the party started. 1.00

02:36:44.000 Salute.

02:36:44.000 Click cups.

02:36:46.000 That's because we peed in here.

02:36:48.000 It smells like pee. 0.82

02:36:49.000 It's because we peed in here. 0.77

02:36:50.000 We clicked it.

02:36:51.000 I just downed it.

02:36:54.000 But you know what, man?

02:36:56.000 I've been working on Fear Factor for so long.

02:37:00.000 And he couldn't do it, man.

02:37:01.000 He was hurling.

02:37:05.000 He throws out.

02:37:21.000 Yeah.

02:37:21.000 Old school.

02:37:22.000 Old school.

02:37:24.000 I don't know what my point was about drinking piss.

02:37:26.000 Oh, it's not that big a deal.

02:37:27.000 It's all in your head.

02:37:28.000 It's like eating roaches.

02:37:29.000 Same thing.

02:37:30.000 It's all in your head.

02:37:31.000 Like, there's a lot of bugs that we serve people on Fear Factor.

02:37:33.000 They didn't taste bad at all.

02:37:35.000 They barely tasted like anything.

02:37:36.000 Like spiders, a bunch of spiders we ate.

02:37:39.000 You know, spiders are cousins of crabs. 1.00

02:37:42.000 Lobsters and shit. 1.00

02:37:44.000 You know? 1.00

02:37:45.000 They don't taste bad.

02:37:46.000 Oysters is amazing that we eat oysters. 0.99

02:37:49.000 Just pulling them out of the ocean, you can just open them up and just suck down this slimy vagina. 1.00

02:37:56.000 It is kind of like that. 0.99

02:37:59.000 Do you know how lobsters switch from being like, I don't want to say poor people's food, but I thought that's what it was.

02:38:05.000 How did they make the change?

02:38:06.000 Well, it all happened when lobsters used to be like a bar food.

02:38:11.000 They used to go to the East River in the turn of the century.

02:38:14.000 I think it was like in the 1800s or the early 1900s, and they would cast out for lobsters and catch them and feed them to people that were hungry at bars.

02:38:23.000 And it was thought to be like garbage food.

02:38:25.000 Somewhere along the line, probably the supply dwindled because they overfished them.

02:38:30.000 Who knows?

02:38:32.000 You know, I was reading this thing about diamonds the other day and how they managed to keep diamonds super valuable when they're not really rare anymore.

02:38:39.000 It was fascinating.

02:38:41.000 That they recognized it coming.

02:38:43.000 And that diamond production, up until the time they discovered these mines in South Africa, I think it was, diamond production was very small.

02:38:50.000 It was a few pounds a year.

02:38:51.000 And then all of a sudden, they just hit the mother load!

02:38:54.000 They just found so many diamonds, they realized, oh my god, diamonds are just weird.

02:38:58.000 Like, they're not valuable.

02:38:59.000 So they formed this giant group, the De Beers group. 0.98

02:39:02.000 And they said, let's just hoard all these fucking diamonds, control all the diamond mining, and we decide that they're still valuable. 0.99

02:39:09.000 Because they don't release them, but they keep mining them. 0.99

02:39:11.000 And so they have way more diamonds than they sell.

02:39:14.000 Like, the amount of diamonds to diamonds they sell. 0.56

02:39:16.000 And then diamonds are worth a fuckload of money.

02:39:19.000 So they're rare, right?

02:39:21.000 But they sell them all the time.

02:39:22.000 But they sell them as if they're rare, but they couldn't be rare.

02:39:24.000 If they were that rare, you wouldn't be selling so many of them.

02:39:27.000 Like, how many do you have?

02:39:27.000 They essentially have an unlimited supply of diamonds.

02:39:30.000 But they're making it out like, diamonds are so rare.

02:39:32.000 It's so rare that we found this diamond. 0.99

02:39:34.000 Like, bitch, you got a lot of them. 1.00

02:39:36.000 You got warehouses full of them. 0.99

02:39:37.000 It's kind of like the sunglasses and glasses industry are all owned.

02:39:41.000 Like, all the known, like, Ray-Bans, Oakleys, they're all owned by one company.

02:39:46.000 So, like, glasses shouldn't be that expensive, or sunglasses shouldn't be that expensive.

02:39:50.000 Well, there's a lot of sunglass companies, dude.

02:39:52.000 And they are all owned by the same company.

02:39:54.000 Are you sure?

02:39:55.000 If you look it up, there's a company...

02:39:56.000 Well, why don't you Google it?

02:39:57.000 How many different...

02:39:57.000 There's got to be competitors.

02:39:58.000 I watched the same thing you watched.

02:39:59.000 It was on a TV show.

02:40:00.000 They did a whole big breakdown, big video of the whole thing.

02:40:04.000 I'll look it up, but...

02:40:06.000 What's weird is that companies held out.

02:40:08.000 Oakley was like, no, we're not going to...

02:40:13.000 I forget what happened.

02:40:15.000 The store was like, we don't want to carry this brand because they're not a part of our company.

02:40:20.000 Then they just ended up buying Oakley and then raising the price.

02:40:24.000 Ray-Bans used to be cheap glasses.

02:40:27.000 When they bought Ray-Ban, they pumped it up to now you can't buy a Ray-Ban at $200.

02:40:32.000 Really?

02:40:32.000 Yeah.

02:40:33.000 What do they used to be?

02:40:34.000 They used to be just like the cheap glasses, you know, like a $10 glass or something like that.

02:40:38.000 Turns out a single company controls several of the outlets where you buy eyeglasses.

02:40:43.000 Okay, so they control the outlets, but do they own the companies?

02:40:46.000 Yes, and they own the companies.

02:40:48.000 So they also own lens crafters.

02:40:49.000 They also own sunglass hut or any of the sunglass stores.

02:40:52.000 They own everything.

02:40:55.000 That's pretty slick, right?

02:40:56.000 Because how many people buy sunglasses from like those sunglass huts?

02:41:01.000 That's where a lot of people buy them, right?

02:41:04.000 A statement to Snopes.com.

02:41:06.000 The company set its sales account for only 10% of the frames sold worldwide.

02:41:10.000 Snopes.com did, however, conclude that regardless of the actual figure, much of Adam's Ruins Everything's assessment of Luxottica's market dominance was accurate.

02:41:21.000 Okay, that's that Adam Ruins Everything show. 0.98

02:41:23.000 It's an interesting fucking show. 0.99

02:41:24.000 I love that guy. 0.99

02:41:25.000 Yeah, it's an interesting show.

02:41:28.000 Some of the stuff that he gets on, it's a well-measured take that some people disagree with, but there was one that Stephen Crowder just was mocking one, and he had some really good points.

02:41:45.000 Car dealership is one of my favorite episodes.

02:41:47.000 I had no idea about car dealerships.

02:41:49.000 It was about illegal immigration, and he was talking about how the fence wouldn't help.

02:41:54.000 And the fence wouldn't help because only I think it was like a certain percentage of the people that got into the country came into the country by foot.

02:42:09.000 It was something like only like 60% came in by foot.

02:42:13.000 So the idea was like, wait a minute.

02:42:14.000 See if you can find it.

02:42:16.000 This is interesting statistics.

02:42:18.000 Because it means a lot of people came in by foot.

02:42:21.000 Like, yeah, Fence would definitely stop that.

02:42:23.000 Like, it wouldn't stop everything.

02:42:24.000 But by the definition the own show explored, it would stop a large number of people.

02:42:31.000 You see it?

02:42:32.000 But it would probably just change people.

02:42:34.000 I'm trying to find the video.

02:42:36.000 The numbers.

02:42:36.000 Okay, so that's 60%?

02:42:38.000 I don't know what the numbers are.

02:42:39.000 But if you go to Louder with Crowder's website, it explains it, not just in the video, but in the actual description of the video.

02:42:46.000 It has the numbers.

02:42:47.000 So yeah, wouldn't that 60% though, like if there was a wall, just fly?

02:42:50.000 Well, I guess we have to fly now.

02:42:52.000 It's not that easy to fly though.

02:42:54.000 It's super hard to fly.

02:42:55.000 The idea is that it's really easy to walk across.

02:42:56.000 That's the idea that a fence would help.

02:42:59.000 But here's something even weirder.

02:43:00.000 Pete Dominick, you know the Pete Dominick from Stand Up with Pete Dominick, I think.

02:43:05.000 Radio show on Sirius.

02:43:06.000 I think that's what his show is called.

02:43:08.000 Forgive me if I'm wrong.

02:43:09.000 He was saying that the actual amount of Mexicans that immigrate to the United States, like the net amount, you know, they go back and forth, who goes here, who's there, it's zero.

02:43:19.000 It's like it's even.

02:43:21.000 Like the same amount go over there as come over here.

02:43:26.000 Yeah, but...

02:43:27.000 How do they know that?

02:43:27.000 Yeah, and plus, are all those people just killed?

02:43:29.000 Like, are people that go down there just murdered?

02:43:32.000 I don't think so.

02:43:34.000 Depends on where they're going, right?

02:43:36.000 What do you got there, Jamie?

02:43:37.000 He doesn't have anything.

02:43:38.000 He just has three paragraphs of his opinion of what the video is talking about.

02:43:44.000 Does it have anything with numbers?

02:43:46.000 It has no numbers at all.

02:43:47.000 No?

02:43:47.000 Okay.

02:43:49.000 Well, he explains it in the...

02:43:51.000 If you, like, play the beginning of the clip...

02:43:53.000 It explains it in the clip.

02:43:55.000 It gets to it pretty quickly.

02:43:56.000 It's kind of interesting.

02:43:58.000 Why don't you just play it?

02:44:00.000 It's kind of interesting because it gets to the weird numbers of it pretty quick.

02:44:07.000 Can we play it so only Brian and I can hear it? 0.99

02:44:10.000 Sorry, fuckers. 1.00

02:44:12.000 I'll reenact what he says. 1.00

02:44:16.000 Okay.

02:44:20.000 What'd you do?

02:44:21.000 Go to the beginning, please.

02:44:34.000 Okay, 40% came here on planes. 0.99

02:44:38.000 Okay, you can kill it. 0.99

02:44:40.000 That's all I wanted to hear. 0.99

02:44:42.000 So that's 27 to 40% of the people came here on planes.

02:44:46.000 That means that between 60 and 73% Came here walking.

02:44:53.000 Like, how would you say that a fence is not going to stop that?

02:44:56.000 Or in a car.

02:44:57.000 Yes.

02:44:58.000 Which, even if we had a wall, Mexicans are still allowed to come to the United States to go on vacation, aren't they? 1.00

02:45:04.000 Sure, yeah.

02:45:05.000 And that's all they're going to do.

02:45:07.000 They have one shot.

02:45:10.000 I don't know how it works, like how you can get a visa or how you don't get a visa to visit.

02:45:14.000 Yeah.

02:45:15.000 Some countries are harder, but Mexico to the United States ain't that hard.

02:45:19.000 But going to the Philippines, remember when I tried to rescue a Philippine woman, but she was killed by that tsunami?

02:45:26.000 Yeah.

02:45:27.000 I tried to get her a visa, and it was like, oh no, you have to wait in line, you have to six months, you won't get approved.

02:45:33.000 Yeah.

02:45:33.000 Because they know they're not coming back to the Philippines.

02:45:35.000 Yeah.

02:45:35.000 That's a lot of people from a lot of parts of the world.

02:45:38.000 If you're in a really, really super poor part of the world and you get a shot at trying to just eke it out here in the United States, you're like, fuck it, I'll take a chance. 0.93

02:45:45.000 You can establish a life over here over long periods of time. 0.99

02:45:48.000 Man.

02:45:51.000 Yeah.

02:45:52.000 I guess you could just come over and visit.

02:45:54.000 Pretty easy.

02:45:55.000 I mean, there's a road there.

02:45:56.000 They have to find a reason why you can't come over and visit. 0.99

02:46:00.000 Whoa, what the fuck? 0.99

02:46:02.000 People climbing the fence. 1.00

02:46:03.000 And then they kind of stop because they notice they're caught on camera, so they run and climb back over.

02:46:09.000 Whoa, they got backpacks on.

02:46:11.000 They look over at the camera.

02:46:14.000 They kind of get a cell phone near his ear?

02:46:17.000 Yeah.

02:46:17.000 Let's assume they're drug runners, but I don't know that that's necessarily Because they have those backpacks?

02:46:23.000 So they climbed back over again?

02:46:24.000 It's that easy? 1.00

02:46:27.000 Holy shit! 1.00

02:46:28.000 Border Patrol! 1.00

02:46:30.000 So the Border Patrol sees them.

02:46:33.000 Wow, so they're in the United States right now.

02:46:36.000 They got walkie-talkies, dude.

02:46:37.000 Oh, they see that...

02:46:39.000 No grab-in.

02:46:41.000 No grab-in.

02:46:42.000 Yeah, they're talking.

02:46:43.000 Another cover in their face.

02:46:46.000 Wow.

02:46:50.000 Wow.

02:46:51.000 It's so easy to climb that wall.

02:46:53.000 Yeah, why is it so easy?

02:46:54.000 The clock is showing you how fast it takes.

02:46:57.000 It's like 10 seconds, they're over. 0.99

02:46:58.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:47:00.000 Those dudes are like, they're like little acrobats. 1.00

02:47:04.000 To be able to have that kind of hand strength, to pin down those things and climb it like that, that's pretty fucking impressive. 0.94

02:47:12.000 So they're just holding on to those things, right? 0.94

02:47:14.000 Yeah.

02:47:15.000 Wow.

02:47:16.000 That's interesting.

02:47:17.000 Is that the newscaster catching them?

02:47:20.000 Look at that.

02:47:21.000 Pretty...

02:47:22.000 God.

02:47:24.000 Oh, she's very angry.

02:47:25.000 They're on the wrong side of the dirt.

02:47:28.000 Wow.

02:47:29.000 Yeah, imagine if you're on the wrong side of the dirt and you're looking at all those nice people hanging around Corpus Christi, partying it up. 1.00

02:47:36.000 You're down here dodging bullets, going fucking bullfights and shit. 0.98

02:47:43.000 It's fucking weird that we just decide that people are born in the wrong patch of dirt. 1.00

02:47:47.000 Drives me crazy. 1.00

02:47:48.000 Especially with Mexicans. 1.00

02:47:49.000 I just love all my Mexican friends and everything like that.

02:47:51.000 And the fact that, like, you know, Trump just pisses me off when it comes to that.

02:47:56.000 He's a strange man.

02:47:58.000 This thing's very strange. 0.96

02:48:00.000 I just have the crazy feeling that this is like the last gasps of this silly system.

02:48:06.000 It's going to take a few more election cycles before it completely implodes.

02:48:10.000 Some disastrous occurrence has to take place before someone comes up with an alternative method that people embrace.

02:48:16.000 There's got to be something.

02:48:19.000 It's just not going to keep going like this.

02:48:21.000 It can't.

02:48:22.000 This is why we're down to these two.

02:48:25.000 Nobody wants that gig.

02:48:27.000 How long until it's a computer program?

02:48:30.000 It's probably not the worst idea.

02:48:32.000 20 years.

02:48:32.000 Yeah, you have a series that just is common sense.

02:48:35.000 It looks up facts and figures and it tells you what the best answer is at that situation.

02:48:40.000 Well, not only that, maybe instead of you just sitting down and making one impulsive choice as to who's going to be the leader of the free world, maybe if you want to participate, In choosing the next leader, you have to interface with a system.

02:48:54.000 And it has to talk to you about your wants and your needs and desires.

02:48:58.000 And they try to find a solution that's mutually compatible with ethics and the desires of all the people that are attached to the system.

02:49:05.000 So they run the desires of all the people that are attached to the system through some sort of ethics program.

02:49:11.000 Where they try to think about what's important and what's not important and where people are just being bitches and where people are being lazy and where people are being too controlling and just figure out a way that you can concoct a system of government. 1.00

02:49:27.000 Where nobody's profiting from being in charge. 0.85

02:49:30.000 And as soon as people say they won't do that, because there's just too many people that profit from being in charge in gigantic ways.

02:49:36.000 So it's too valuable to be in charge.

02:49:38.000 It's not something you get off on doing just because you did a great job.

02:49:41.000 It's something you get off on doing because you used it In a personal way to enrich your own bank account.

02:49:48.000 You've figured out a way to use these weird laws that you set up to suck a bunch of money out of the system.

02:49:54.000 That's what we're getting over and over and over again.

02:49:56.000 That's the reason why they're doing it in the first place.

02:50:00.000 Nobody else wants that gig. 0.60

02:50:02.000 You have to be like a crazy person with an amazing view of yourself. 1.00

02:50:10.000 Oh, you just gotta grab him by the pussy. 1.00

02:50:12.000 Grab him by the pussy. 1.00

02:50:13.000 Just grab him. 1.00

02:50:13.000 Grab him by the pussy. 1.00

02:50:15.000 Imagine if he wins. 1.00

02:50:16.000 Imagine if we have a president that talks about grabbing chicks by the pussy. 1.00

02:50:19.000 I'm just so sick of him. 1.00

02:50:21.000 It's funny, though.

02:50:22.000 It's kind of, if this is a simulation, man, they're ending it good.

02:50:26.000 It's coming down nice.

02:50:28.000 I would have loved to see somebody.

02:50:30.000 I'd rather have Kanye than Trump.

02:50:32.000 Yeah, he's going to win next year.

02:50:34.000 It's going to be Jesse Ventura versus Kanye.

02:50:36.000 They might team up together.

02:50:37.000 If Kanye's smart, he'll make Jesse his running mate.

02:50:39.000 Because Jesse likes to spend a lot of time in Mexico.

02:50:42.000 Makes him sort of a joint agreement where President Kanye takes care of the heavy lifting.

02:50:47.000 And then Vice President Ventura, he just wears his fanny pack and hangs around Mexico.

02:50:52.000 And in case he needs me, he has to call him on the phone because he doesn't have a cell phone.

02:50:56.000 We should try to get somebody elected, like one of our friends, like Joey Diaz or something, next round.

02:51:02.000 That's not going to work, but it's almost coming down to that.

02:51:07.000 I mean, the reason why Kanye West really could be president is because it is kind of almost coming down to a popularity contest.

02:51:13.000 It's almost coming down to, it doesn't necessarily have to be the person who can do the job best.

02:51:19.000 It's the person who the people love the most, who they convince themselves can do a good enough job.

02:51:26.000 Or who the person can convince them that they'll do a good enough job.

02:51:30.000 It's not necessarily the best person for the job.

02:51:32.000 A popular person, like if a guy like Kanye West, and Kanye and Drake ran together for the children...

02:51:39.000 They might win, man, if Kanye and Jay-Z ran, okay?

02:51:44.000 What if Nas runs for president?

02:51:46.000 Nas and Jay-Z. It's a joint ticket.

02:51:48.000 Hey, man, I might fucking vote for them. 0.99

02:51:50.000 I might do that, too. 0.99

02:51:52.000 Nas is a smart dude.

02:51:53.000 Jay-Z is a smart dude.

02:51:54.000 Maybe they would come up with something that makes sense.

02:51:56.000 But then Jay-Z did have that streaming music service and that wasn't a really good idea, was it?

02:52:00.000 He still does, doesn't he?

02:52:01.000 Still do that?

02:52:02.000 People buy that stuff?

02:52:03.000 No.

02:52:04.000 Did not work?

02:52:05.000 Didn't work?

02:52:06.000 I think they're trying to figure out how to get it bought by somebody else.

02:52:09.000 Probably, right?

02:52:10.000 Yeah.

02:52:11.000 I mean, he's just trying to make a buck.

02:52:13.000 Gotta take a chance. 0.97

02:52:14.000 But, anyway, at the end of the day, there's a lot of fucking smart people that are super popular, is my point. 0.96

02:52:19.000 If you can get really, really popular, like George Clooney. 0.96

02:52:22.000 You tell me if George Clooney didn't run for president, he couldn't win? 0.99

02:52:24.000 George Clooney can be the president of this fucking country without a doubt. 0.99

02:52:29.000 Ronald Reagan. 0.99

02:52:30.000 Even Alec Baldwin now, the door is open to Alec Baldwin, okay? 1.00

02:52:34.000 Because after all that grab-the-pussy stuff, all that crazy shit that Alec Baldwin did, screaming at people, calling them faggots and shit, no one's gonna remember that anymore. 1.00

02:52:42.000 The daughter stuff was terrible. 1.00

02:52:43.000 Yeah, the daughter.

02:52:43.000 That was terrible.

02:52:44.000 But you know what?

02:52:45.000 He could say he was drunk, he apologized, they have a great relationship now.

02:52:48.000 People forgive you.

02:52:49.000 You don't have to be perfect.

02:52:50.000 I think if we look for a person who's perfect to be president, we're not gonna have a president because there are no perfect people.

02:52:56.000 But everybody's been lying, so we have to readjust our curve. 0.90

02:52:59.000 Our curve's all fucked up, because we've been dealing with a bunch of politicians who've been pretending to be someone who they're not. 0.98

02:53:04.000 They've been lying about everything they do. 0.99

02:53:06.000 They've been lying about who's paying them to do this, and who they're supporting, where the money's coming from, and why they do it, and the unspoken arrangements that they have with certain people that pay them large sums of money.

02:53:17.000 They don't even have to say, I want you to do this.

02:53:19.000 It's understood that you're going to do things to support their interests, because they've paid a shitload of money to help you out. 0.99

02:53:25.000 And to pay you to come do these fucking speeches at these ridiculous places? 0.99

02:53:29.000 Nobody wants to see a fucking Bill Clinton speech. 1.00

02:53:32.000 Who's paying? 1.00

02:53:33.000 Who's paying for that? 0.60

02:53:35.000 Who's excited about that?

02:53:37.000 Who's gonna pay enough money to justify a $250,000 Hillary Clinton speech? 1.00

02:53:41.000 Who's paying that?

02:53:43.000 Who's paying that? 0.99

02:53:44.000 A crazy person. 1.00

02:53:45.000 You have to be like, dude, this is going to be the shit. 1.00

02:53:47.000 We have tickets to Kiss. 1.00

02:53:50.000 We're going to see Kiss.

02:53:51.000 They have a reunion tour. 0.98

02:53:53.000 I know it's not the real Ace Frehley, and it's not the real Peter Criss, but the fucking show is awesome, dude. 0.98

02:53:57.000 It's amazing. 0.96

02:53:59.000 And then, right after that, to top it off, Hillary Clinton is going to speak.

02:54:06.000 No, that's not something, I mean, she can be a very effective politician, but to pay someone that much money to speak, like, you're just making it obvious. 0.96

02:54:16.000 You're not, that's not what a normal super famous person gets.

02:54:19.000 They don't get $250,000 to speak at a luncheon.

02:54:23.000 Some comedians.

02:54:24.000 Not that much.

02:54:25.000 Close.

02:54:25.000 But if you sell out Madison Square Garden, there's a difference.

02:54:29.000 That's ticket sales.

02:54:30.000 If Bill Burr sells out Madison Square Garden, he's going to get a giant chunk of money.

02:54:34.000 I don't know what that number is, but it's probably a giant chunk of money.

02:54:37.000 I'm sure we could ask Dane Cook.

02:54:38.000 Dane Cook sold out Madison Square Garden four times.

02:54:42.000 That's a giant chunk of money he must have made.

02:54:44.000 But he made it because people paid money to see him.

02:54:48.000 Like, they want to see him entertain them.

02:54:50.000 Are the bankers really doing that? 0.99

02:54:51.000 Are they fucking psyched? 1.00

02:54:52.000 They have lighters up while she's talking like, Fuck yeah! 1.00

02:54:56.000 Talk about deregulation! 1.00

02:54:57.000 Woo! 1.00

02:54:58.000 Fuck yeah, Hillary! 1.00

02:55:00.000 She's up there with a bite suit on like a German Shepherd's gonna jump out of the back of a paddy wagon and bite her legs and try to take her down. 1.00

02:55:07.000 She's wearing that boxy bite suit. 1.00

02:55:09.000 Fuck outta here. 1.00

02:55:11.000 This whole thing's ridiculous. 1.00

02:55:14.000 So, it's so obvious. 0.99

02:55:17.000 These people are just...

02:55:18.000 They're just running this thing the way they've always been running this thing.

02:55:22.000 We're just getting to see it now.

02:55:23.000 We're getting to see it, like, really super clear.

02:55:26.000 We're real weird.

02:55:28.000 Real weird to watch them scramble and readjust and change and shift and move.

02:55:34.000 But if you want to be successful in the world that those people run in, you've got to be one of those people.

02:55:40.000 That's why Bernie Sanders is shunned.

02:55:43.000 Because Bernie Sanders, whether you agree with his politics or you disagree with his politics, and I agree with a lot of things he says.

02:55:50.000 He's an outsider.

02:55:52.000 They don't want that guy.

02:55:54.000 That guy's not going to play ball.

02:55:56.000 That guy's going to talk to people.

02:55:58.000 He's going to be reasonable.

02:56:00.000 He might be anti-capitalist to a certain extent to some people.

02:56:06.000 But ultimately, what he does represent is something that's different than the way things are running now.

02:56:13.000 They're not having that. 0.99

02:56:15.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:56:16.000 But he got closer than anybody like him has ever gotten, ever. 1.00

02:56:19.000 So I think if four more years of chaos, whoever the fuck gets in, you might want to go to Canada for a little bit. 0.99

02:56:27.000 Just hang out. 0.99

02:56:28.000 Just go to Vancouver. 0.99

02:56:31.000 Who knows what the fuck's going to happen, man? 0.98

02:56:33.000 I mean, people are up in arms. 0.99

02:56:35.000 I told you I've been watching exclusively Fox News.

02:56:39.000 Because those are the people that think the least like me.

02:56:42.000 So I've been exclusively watching.

02:56:44.000 And occasionally I agree with them on many things.

02:56:46.000 But those are the people that I agree with the least.

02:56:49.000 So it is fascinating.

02:56:51.000 Watching them, first of all, the Trump debate.

02:56:54.000 I thought he's 0-2.

02:56:56.000 I thought Hillary whooped him in the first one. 0.97

02:56:58.000 And I thought she clearly outboxed him and outmoved him in the second one.

02:57:03.000 He did land a devastating blow that you'd be in jail.

02:57:08.000 Because that was devastating.

02:57:09.000 That was like a total two-point round.

02:57:11.000 That was a 10-8 round for sure.

02:57:13.000 He dropped her. 0.94

02:57:14.000 She got rocked.

02:57:15.000 Referee saved her. 0.97

02:57:16.000 She was saved by the bell there.

02:57:18.000 But other than that, I think she won.

02:57:21.000 I think she's just better at that.

02:57:24.000 She's got better economy of words, unlike me, rambling.

02:57:28.000 She says her sentences more concisely.

02:57:31.000 She's more measured in her approach.

02:57:34.000 She's more disciplined in her preparation.

02:57:36.000 To say that she didn't win, it's not fair.

02:57:38.000 It's not true.

02:57:40.000 So I'm watching these people just lie.

02:57:42.000 Well, obviously, Donald Trump was the winner of that debate.

02:57:46.000 I think, oh, there could be no doubt.

02:57:47.000 There could be no doubt.

02:57:48.000 Like, are you really serious?

02:57:50.000 Is that what you guys are arguing? 1.00

02:57:52.000 It blows my fucking mind though. 0.99

02:57:54.000 How are you watching the same thing as me? 1.00

02:57:57.000 The person that was in the room with me agreed with me.

02:58:00.000 If you were in the room, would we be both sitting there fighting?

02:58:04.000 There's terms that he uses that you should only use very, very sparingly Because they indicate that you're scrambling.

02:58:15.000 And one of those is, and I'm going to be honest with you.

02:58:18.000 And I'll be honest with you.

02:58:20.000 This is a shame.

02:58:21.000 I find this to be a shame.

02:58:22.000 That to me says he's in the moment, he's in the moment, but he's freeballing a little bit.

02:58:28.000 He's freeballing.

02:58:29.000 She's not doing that. 1.00

02:58:31.000 She's saying the America that we see in front of us is not perfect, but it is the best that we can find in the world today.

02:58:38.000 And I'm proud to be an American. 1.00

02:58:40.000 And she says this stuff with the right inflection and whether or not that's, I know, this is a media thing, she's a fucking crook and she's still going to ruin this country. 1.00

02:58:48.000 I understand that. 0.99

02:58:49.000 But that's not what a debate is, okay?

02:58:51.000 What a debate is is some sort of a contest of words.

02:58:54.000 It's a battle of words.

02:58:56.000 It's a battle of ideas.

02:58:57.000 It's a battle of concepts.

02:58:58.000 It's a battle of words and personalities, importantly.

02:59:00.000 He did everything wrong in that respect.

02:59:02.000 He's looming over her and it wasn't effective.

02:59:04.000 You know, she didn't take the bait. 1.00

02:59:07.000 She laughed and smiled when he said ridiculous shit. 1.00

02:59:10.000 Even when he said you'd be in jail, she walked off and just stood there as if nothing happened. 1.00

02:59:15.000 Like, she had...

02:59:17.000 She had a great reaction to him.

02:59:19.000 So it's not whether or not she'd be a better president.

02:59:21.000 But if you want to judge a debate like a game of tic-tac-toe or checkers or, you know, or it's some sort of a thing that you're scoring.

02:59:30.000 You're scoring this thing.

02:59:32.000 I mean, the people, it's like a team.

02:59:33.000 You watch it online.

02:59:35.000 67% think...

02:59:37.000 Mr. Secretary of State Clinton won the debate.

02:59:40.000 Now, the Trump supporters feel differently.

02:59:42.000 And then you go to these people and they're like, I felt he was strong.

02:59:45.000 I felt like what he said in that one thing, you go to jail, that really rang with me.

02:59:50.000 That really made sense to me. 0.99

02:59:51.000 And you see all these people that they've chosen that are kind of interesting or controversial or stupid or that one guy with the crazy sweater. 1.00

02:59:59.000 They had that poor bastard. 1.00

03:00:00.000 They had some poor bastard with a giant red sweater and he stood out there and he said his name. 0.99

03:00:06.000 And so his name became like a meme. 0.95

03:00:08.000 That sweater became a meme.

03:00:09.000 That sweater sold out everywhere, all over the world, like instantly.

03:00:13.000 People are going to be that guy for Halloween now.

03:00:15.000 Yeah.

03:00:16.000 He's everywhere.

03:00:17.000 Yeah.

03:00:17.000 He's everywhere.

03:00:17.000 Making money selling shirts.

03:00:19.000 Good for him.

03:00:20.000 50,000 followers.

03:00:22.000 See, it's a game and it's an entertaining show.

03:00:26.000 That's what these debates are.

03:00:27.000 And it's a giant hustle.

03:00:29.000 I'm not saying this in a conspiracy theory sort of a way, because I think we're hustling ourselves.

03:00:33.000 We want this hustle.

03:00:34.000 This is a hustle we all want to see.

03:00:36.000 We all want to pretend that he's going to fix it, or we all want to pretend that she's going to be amazing.

03:00:40.000 We all want to pretend.

03:00:41.000 It's a weird, weird show.

03:00:45.000 It's a weird show, and we're watching these people improvise right in front of us.

03:00:50.000 Alex Jones' response to it was very upsetting to me.

03:00:53.000 It was wonderful. 0.99

03:00:54.000 Alex Jones, literally, she's a demon from hell. 0.99

03:00:58.000 Literally, we've seen flies land on her head! 0.99

03:01:01.000 Ladies and gentlemen, we've seen flies!

03:01:03.000 I've talked to people who are on the scene! 0.99

03:01:06.000 He's fucking beet red. 0.99

03:01:08.000 He's crying. 0.99

03:01:09.000 He's got a purple red face.

03:01:10.000 There's demons!

03:01:11.000 Demons are real.

03:01:12.000 He was crying.

03:01:13.000 It's wonderful.

03:01:14.000 I love that guy.

03:01:15.000 He's the best.

03:01:16.000 I agree.

03:01:16.000 He's the best.

03:01:18.000 I think he's taken it to the right place.

03:01:20.000 I think he's just gone full parody.

03:01:22.000 Just get so crazy.

03:01:24.000 I think it's perfect.

03:01:25.000 Yeah, it's perfect.

03:01:26.000 Yeah, just give people just a little more than they can swallow.

03:01:30.000 I'm choking!

03:01:31.000 Like, the irony and the crazy is making even, like, the serious conspiracy theories reconsider their position, which I think is good, which is also the best argument that he's psyops, that he's actually CIA, NSA undercover to discredit the entire truth or movement.

03:01:49.000 Don't you understand?

03:01:51.000 Mm-hmm.

03:01:52.000 I went down two rabbit holes last night.

03:01:53.000 Two Tower 7 rabbit holes.

03:01:55.000 I went down the explanation Tower 7 rabbit hole, which I found to be very plausible.

03:02:00.000 And then I went down the other rabbit hole, which is actual scientists that are...

03:02:07.000 We're good to go.

03:02:26.000 And this dude's off his rocker.

03:02:27.000 He does these two-hour speeches about Tower 7, you know, about free-fall speed and thermite and all these different chemicals that were found in the wreckage, and he's just obsessed with this idea.

03:02:42.000 And apparently he's not the only one.

03:02:43.000 There's thousands of different, at least a thousand, I think it's like 1,500 or something, architects and engineers in that 9-11 truth thing that think that 9-11 either was an inside job or Tower 7 was a controlled demolition or both.

03:02:58.000 There's a spectrum of belief systems that's involved in the 9-11 truth or movement.

03:03:02.000 Some people think that...

03:03:05.000 There's a lot of nuts to think that planes didn't even really hit the towers, that there were explosions, and then there's other people that think that the towers were rigged, and that they rigged these things like years in advance, and they remember seeing these maintenance people, and they were like these nefarious maintenance people are setting up thermite bombs all throughout the beams of the...

03:03:24.000 But then there's this other video that shows how easily things weaken under fire. 0.95

03:03:31.000 It shows a bunch of shit collapsing under fire, including a bridge. 0.98

03:03:34.000 There was one where a bridge collapsed just because of a fire underneath the bridge. 0.99

03:03:37.000 The steel in the bridge heated up too much and just couldn't support the weight.

03:03:41.000 And apparently, what it's explaining is that people think that steel melts at a certain temperature, which is very true, but it significantly weakens at a way lower temperature than it melts.

03:03:53.000 So they were showing all these different things that collapse, just fall down, just give up, just like that Tower 7 did.

03:04:02.000 But... 0.99

03:04:04.000 It's fun to think that there's an evil genius that lives in a mountain that rigged all that shit and now he's laughing in a pile of money? 1.00

03:04:10.000 Because he got away with it 15 years ago? 1.00

03:04:13.000 You know, they opened a Walmart in Burbank.

03:04:16.000 Thank God.

03:04:17.000 And I was excited.

03:04:18.000 And I decided...

03:04:19.000 Why?

03:04:20.000 I hate mom and pop businesses.

03:04:23.000 Just because it's nice.

03:04:25.000 Want to see people working for it's cheap.

03:04:26.000 You know, it's just nice.

03:04:28.000 But...

03:04:29.000 You go there thinking it's in Burbank, one of the suburban nicer areas of Los Angeles.

03:04:33.000 No way it's going to be the same people that go to Walmart in Burbank than you see on the internet.

03:04:39.000 No.

03:04:40.000 Whatever it is, it's like flies on poop. 1.00

03:04:43.000 It was just filled with tits hanging out. 1.00

03:04:45.000 This woman just bruises all over. 1.00

03:04:47.000 Kids with no shoes on.

03:04:49.000 It was just like, where are all these people from?

03:04:51.000 They find it.

03:04:52.000 They find it. 0.96

03:04:54.000 And the conspiracies and all that crap, to me, it's like that. 0.96

03:04:59.000 Half the people on my Facebook, I just look at them like, dude, I should just unfollow you. 0.98

03:05:02.000 Maybe we need to get Chinese assassins of old people to come over here and make Walmarts. 1.00

03:05:08.000 Big flytrap Walmarts. 0.97

03:05:11.000 And they just say, hey, you tired of white people being pushed down?

03:05:15.000 Yes, I am.

03:05:16.000 Well, come on in this room. 0.86

03:05:18.000 We're organizing.

03:05:19.000 You know, like having a bunch of different like social honey traps where people just fall into them.

03:05:25.000 Blow up all the Walmarts on Black Friday and then Trump loses.

03:05:29.000 Could you imagine if we got to a point where we had to start killing people off?

03:05:34.000 Like there's just way too many people and there's no other way around it. 0.98

03:05:37.000 China.

03:05:37.000 We got to cull people the same way they want to cull wolves in the greater Yellowstone ecosystem.

03:05:44.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

03:05:45.000 Is that possible? 1.00

03:05:46.000 Is it possible?

03:05:47.000 I mean, we keep overpopulating, right?

03:05:49.000 We're at 7 billion.

03:05:50.000 They project...

03:05:51.000 I think they project 8 billion by 2050. I think that's what they said.

03:05:55.000 See if that's true, Jamie.

03:05:56.000 There's a lot of middle states, though.

03:05:58.000 Yes.

03:05:59.000 We got a lot of room.

03:06:00.000 We just gotta...

03:06:00.000 But we don't have the water, right?

03:06:01.000 We talked about this.

03:06:02.000 The desalinization.

03:06:03.000 It can't fill up those areas.

03:06:05.000 But don't you think...

03:06:06.000 That there's going to come a time, if we survive, right, say if there's no super volcanoes, no asteroid impacts, no plague, no nuclear war, if we avoid all that shit, you know, the water's going to rise, we're going to move in, we'll be fine, the coast will just be in a different spot. 0.63

03:06:20.000 It's not that big of a deal. 0.69

03:06:22.000 I mean, it's a big deal, obviously, but it's not a kill off the population big a deal.

03:06:27.000 So if it keeps going and the technology keeps getting better, we just keep making people.

03:06:33.000 We just keep doing it.

03:06:34.000 The numbers keep rising and rising and rising and then we get to be like 30 billion, 40 billion, 50 billion.

03:06:41.000 And we have real problems where we don't have enough food.

03:06:44.000 We don't have enough air.

03:06:45.000 We don't have enough space.

03:06:47.000 What are we going to do?

03:06:50.000 Make food.

03:06:51.000 That's already a thing. 1.00

03:06:52.000 What about kill stupid people? 1.00

03:06:54.000 Kill stupid people for sure. 1.00

03:06:55.000 No, you can't say that because that's what Hitler wanted. 1.00

03:06:58.000 He had some good ideas and some bad ideas.

03:07:02.000 No, I mean, there's definitely...

03:07:04.000 Look, this Chinese thing, that makes complete sense if they're killing off... 1.00

03:07:08.000 Do you think they're doing that, though?

03:07:09.000 Yes.

03:07:09.000 There's too many people in China.

03:07:11.000 They cannot have that many people.

03:07:13.000 So if they get rid of a certain age of people, especially if they have mental issues, like homeless people...

03:07:21.000 Right, but we already figured out that the United States has almost 100,000, right?

03:07:26.000 Was it 90-something thousand?

03:07:27.000 Any given day, I'd say about 90,000.

03:07:30.000 Any given year?

03:07:31.000 Any given day.

03:07:32.000 There's 90,000 missing.

03:07:33.000 Oh.

03:07:34.000 Not extra missing.

03:07:35.000 Oh, overall.

03:07:35.000 I see, I see.

03:07:36.000 And this is elderly?

03:07:38.000 No, it's just people.

03:07:39.000 Oh, this is different.

03:07:40.000 Including kids.

03:07:41.000 Well, that's way different.

03:07:41.000 Are they talking about 500,000 elderly or 500,000 people?

03:07:44.000 500,000 elderly.

03:07:45.000 Ooh, that's a big difference. 0.81

03:07:47.000 Oh, yeah, they're killing them, for sure. 0.98

03:07:49.000 Right? 0.99

03:07:49.000 Right, for sure. 0.99

03:07:50.000 Oh, okay, I got it wrong.

03:07:50.000 I mean, they kill kids, or they used to, but they, you know, if you...

03:07:55.000 That's kind of what I'm saying, right?

03:07:58.000 About populations.

03:07:59.000 If they get too high, people aren't valuable anymore.

03:08:02.000 500,000 elderly people go missing in China every year.

03:08:06.000 That is a lot.

03:08:07.000 80% of the missing people are, I believe, 80%.

03:08:10.000 Dude, they're killing people.

03:08:12.000 Do you think that's real?

03:08:13.000 Do you think they're killing people, or do you think people just get lost real easy?

03:08:17.000 Look at it, it's 80% of, 80% are elderly. 0.92

03:08:21.000 So yes, I believe they're killing them, or...

03:08:24.000 72% suffered some sort of memory impairment. 0.95

03:08:27.000 Yeah, but look, it might be a mental health issue, where they might just not treat their mentally ill. 0.99

03:08:32.000 But look at the numbers in that chart, Jamie, scroll back up there, look at that shit. 0.98

03:08:36.000 Look at the difference between, what is the earliest part of the chart? 0.96

03:08:40.000 1965. Population of people over 65. Yeah, but...

03:08:44.000 1965 to 2015. No, the age thing, Jamie.

03:08:47.000 The bottom.

03:08:48.000 1965 to 2015. Yeah.

03:08:50.000 If you look at the way it runs up to 2015, that's a spike, man.

03:08:55.000 Or at least a steep ramp. 0.93

03:08:58.000 Wow, they're killing old people. 1.00

03:09:00.000 They're saying that out of those groups that are missing, a large amount of them have been diagnosed already with an illness like Alzheimer's or something like that.

03:09:08.000 They're already on the way out, they're saying.

03:09:10.000 So they ice them, they get rid of them.

03:09:13.000 Yeah, because it's costing them more money.

03:09:16.000 And population.

03:09:17.000 It's taking up space.

03:09:18.000 Dude, imagine if we find out that there is a murder racket in China that kills 500,000 old sick people a year. 0.93

03:09:25.000 There is.

03:09:26.000 But imagine.

03:09:27.000 I mean, right now we're just looking at a number.

03:09:29.000 But if we found out that is absolutely what was going on?

03:09:34.000 I think by 2030 they're going to have more than 400 million people over 60 there.

03:09:39.000 Wow.

03:09:41.000 Jesus.

03:09:42.000 And they last longer, the Asians, because they eat so nice. 0.98

03:09:47.000 That's so racist. 0.51

03:09:48.000 That as a meme is going to be like a racist meme. 1.00

03:09:52.000 People are going to beat your ass. 1.00

03:09:54.000 Isn't that funny? 1.00

03:09:55.000 But you said nothing but a good thing.

03:09:57.000 No.

03:09:57.000 You said good things, but it's racial.

03:09:59.000 And so when it's racial, people automatically get recreationally upset.

03:10:04.000 Recreational outrage kicks in, and they'll call you a racist for saying that Asian people last longer because they eat well.

03:10:10.000 But you just said, eat nice.

03:10:11.000 Eat nice.

03:10:12.000 That was a better way to say it, though. 0.99

03:10:14.000 Well, my girlfriend's Asian, and she's the most racist of Chinese people of all time. 1.00

03:10:20.000 And most Asians hate Chinese people. 0.98

03:10:23.000 And you're like, why are you so racist against Chinese people? 1.00

03:10:26.000 And she's like, oh, they're stupid. 1.00

03:10:27.000 And then you research it, and you're like... 1.00

03:10:30.000 Maybe you should let her say these things in there.

03:10:32.000 My ex-girlfriend, the one that died in the train crash. 0.99

03:10:36.000 But then you read all these things about this, and you're like, holy shit, what's going on in China? 1.00

03:10:43.000 It's fucked up over there, man. 0.99

03:10:45.000 Well, Ari will tell you what's going on. 0.99

03:10:47.000 Ari's been there.

03:10:48.000 I know quite a few people that have been in China.

03:10:50.000 Somebody just...

03:10:51.000 Oh, Tate.

03:10:52.000 Tate's in China right now. 0.98

03:10:53.000 He's doing some CrossFit shit over there. 0.86

03:10:55.000 He's doing some stuff with the guy who owns CrossFit. 0.97

03:10:58.000 Yeah, China's a trip, man.

03:11:00.000 Apparently, though, there's something like 50 new billionaires are created every day in China.

03:11:06.000 Something insane like that.

03:11:08.000 Here, Tate told me.

03:11:10.000 I should probably know these things before I say them out loud, but you know how it is, folks.

03:11:16.000 How many new billionaires are created every day in China?

03:11:19.000 What do you say, Brian?

03:11:20.000 50?

03:11:22.000 Sure.

03:11:24.000 What does it say?

03:11:25.000 Business Insider says China gets a new billionaire every five days.

03:11:29.000 So not five every day, it's one every five days.

03:11:32.000 Well, that sounds more likely.

03:11:35.000 So that's 20 a month.

03:11:39.000 One every five.

03:11:40.000 One every five days.

03:11:42.000 Six a month.

03:11:43.000 Wait a minute.

03:11:44.000 One every five days.

03:11:46.000 There's seven days in a week.

03:11:48.000 There's four weeks in a month.

03:11:49.000 About 30 days every month.

03:11:50.000 30 divided by 5 is 6. So 6 times 5 is 30. So every month they get a billion except for like February.

03:11:59.000 It's short months.

03:12:00.000 60 every year.

03:12:01.000 How crazy is that?

03:12:02.000 So it's 60 a year.

03:12:03.000 Essentially 50-60 a year instead of 50-60 a day.

03:12:06.000 I was only off by a factor of 365. Let me see what Tate said.

03:12:11.000 Maybe Tate lied to me. 1.00

03:12:12.000 Motherfucker. 0.99

03:12:14.000 It is a strange place though, like when we think about like that language can develop in two different places in two completely different ways like you've got your language that we have over here with our very specific sounds that sound like English and then they get a little weirder when they go to certain places like if you go to you know like Germany or like those places that what they have different sounds and they have the parts of the world where they have like different sort of sounds like 0.98

03:12:44.000 that And then you got China, which has got its own kind of weird thing.

03:12:49.000 And then on top of that, okay, here he says they have made, here each year, hmm, 409 millionaires made there each day of the year.

03:13:00.000 That's more impressive.

03:13:01.000 Wow.

03:13:01.000 That's what it was, he said.

03:13:03.000 409 millionaires made there each day and 50 million people living in Shanghai.

03:13:09.000 Okay, that's the 40, that's the 50, that's where I got confused. 0.98

03:13:13.000 Fuck man, but their language like when you look at it written down you're like this is alien This is like alien language like we didn't know that Chinese was Chinese You know you pass by Chinatown you go. 1.00

03:13:23.000 Oh, they have yeah Chinese language on the wall If you went into space and you found that shit on a rock in a cave somewhere, you'd be like, oh my god It's alien language. 1.00

03:13:31.000 It's so much more sophisticated than ours. 0.96

03:13:33.000 Look at the characters.

03:13:34.000 I can't it can't be deciphered We would be looking at it like what is that these little characters?

03:13:40.000 Just little strange characters, and they all know, and they have way more characters than we have letters.

03:13:46.000 Way more, because each character is like a word.

03:13:49.000 Yeah, like waterfalls.

03:13:51.000 Exactly. 0.99

03:13:51.000 Fucked up. 0.99

03:13:52.000 What was it supposed to be on your arm? 0.99

03:13:54.000 R for my last name, and there's no such thing as an R in Chinese.

03:13:59.000 Still, they thought you said water.

03:14:01.000 Waterfall.

03:14:02.000 Yeah.

03:14:03.000 Waterfall.

03:14:04.000 Yeah.

03:14:05.000 Embarrassing.

03:14:06.000 Well, it wasn't an Asian person that did it though, right? 0.99

03:14:08.000 It was a white guy.

03:14:09.000 No, no, no.

03:14:09.000 It was a white girl.

03:14:09.000 Of course.

03:14:10.000 She didn't know what the fuck she was writing. 1.00

03:14:12.000 That bitch made up some shit on you. 1.00

03:14:14.000 She drew on you and made up some shit. 1.00

03:14:16.000 She had a book that actually said, like I said, A, and it showed the symbol B, but it was just bullshit, I guess. 1.00

03:14:20.000 The people that made that book, they were laughing. 0.98

03:14:24.000 While they pushed it out the door.

03:14:26.000 Me Chinese, me play a joke. 0.81

03:14:29.000 I had a tattoo book. 0.66

03:14:31.000 It's racist.

03:14:32.000 Racists do a Chinese accent, but you can do an English accent all day.

03:14:35.000 Isn't that strange?

03:14:36.000 Right?

03:14:37.000 Isn't it odd?

03:14:37.000 You can go, hello, and how are you, Brian Reichel?

03:14:40.000 And now I go, you fucking racist! 1.00

03:14:42.000 You racist piece of shit! 1.00

03:14:43.000 But if you go, if you do that, you're racist. 1.00

03:14:49.000 Right?

03:14:50.000 That sounds racist.

03:14:51.000 You are mocking the way Chinese people sound. 1.00

03:14:53.000 Well, they have an unusual sound.

03:14:56.000 You hear them talk.

03:14:57.000 It's like a very weird kind of fascinating...

03:15:00.000 I think it sounds cool, but it's a strange sound in comparison to the English that we're used to.

03:15:06.000 Is it racist, though?

03:15:07.000 I mean, like, I've told you about how...

03:15:09.000 Oh, Mr. Brian!

03:15:11.000 Happy day.

03:15:12.000 I told you about this.

03:15:14.000 My girlfriend has to speak Korean, so I try to speak Korean.

03:15:17.000 I just try to make the noises.

03:15:19.000 Not anything racist.

03:15:20.000 I just try to make the noises.

03:15:22.000 And then every couple, ten seconds, she'll be like, you just said grasshopper.

03:15:27.000 You just said hako.

03:15:29.000 It's weird.

03:15:31.000 Fake noises?

03:15:32.000 Fake noises that sound like...

03:15:33.000 Keep doing that with her and you'll learn the language.

03:15:36.000 I know.

03:15:37.000 Just do it constantly.

03:15:38.000 Just make noises.

03:15:39.000 Create a database in your head.

03:15:41.000 You can do it, dude.

03:15:42.000 I've got faith in you.

03:15:43.000 I've learned a few words.

03:15:46.000 I used to teach Taekwondo in Korean.

03:15:48.000 Really?

03:15:48.000 Yeah, I used to count in Korean.

03:15:50.000 No way, do you still know?

03:15:51.000 Yeah, I think so. 0.97

03:15:53.000 I'll probably fuck it up.

03:15:54.000 It was like... 0.99

03:15:55.000 Nah, I fucked it up already. 0.81

03:16:02.000 I'm not saying it very good either. 0.98

03:16:04.000 My instructor had a very strong accent.

03:16:08.000 It was hard sometimes to understand exactly how to say the words.

03:16:11.000 But like, kicks would be in...

03:16:15.000 In Taekwondo kicks would be, you would say them in Korean, like up chuggy. 0.99

03:16:20.000 I think up chuggy was front kick.

03:16:23.000 Doyo chuggy is roundhouse kick. 0.97

03:16:25.000 There's like a bunch of different, yeah.

03:16:28.000 I don't remember all of them though.

03:16:31.000 I forgot a lot of them, man.

03:16:33.000 I forgot a lot of it.

03:16:34.000 I learned how to say, like, I guess it means, like, gay or something like that.

03:16:38.000 Of course you did.

03:16:39.000 But you say it as like, like, like that or something.

03:16:42.000 Oh, Japanese, right? 0.96

03:16:43.000 No, no, no, Korean. 0.99

03:16:44.000 Korean, okay. 0.98

03:16:45.000 So I embarrassed my girlfriend, like, I'll be in public, and out of nowhere I was just trying to be like, Nikki!

03:16:50.000 And she's like...

03:16:52.000 Because I guess it's like really embarrassing.

03:16:54.000 What are you saying? 0.79

03:16:54.000 Nookie. 0.79

03:16:55.000 Nookie.

03:16:55.000 Oh, like that Limp Bizkit song?

03:16:58.000 Yeah.

03:16:59.000 I did it all for the nookie. 0.87

03:17:00.000 Nookie! 1.00

03:17:01.000 So if they went to see Limp Bizkit, they would just start laughing.

03:17:03.000 Oh my god, I can't believe they're saying this.

03:17:07.000 Is that what would happen?

03:17:08.000 Yeah, probably.

03:17:11.000 Nookie! 1.00

03:17:12.000 There was a weird time where...

03:17:14.000 It's very strange where a word from some other language... 0.99

03:17:20.000 Means nothing over here like we say words and it means like something really fucked up over there Like there's certain words like okay, here's a perfect example fanny pack fanny means vagina in England I got that out How the fuck did that happen? 0.99

03:17:38.000 Simulation theory. 1.00

03:17:39.000 Or fags for cigarettes. 0.99

03:17:41.000 They call a cigarette a fag. 1.00

03:17:43.000 Or faggots. 1.00

03:17:44.000 You know, like a bundle of nose hairs. 1.00

03:17:46.000 You know what that is, man?

03:17:47.000 Here's the thing.

03:17:48.000 There's a misconception about that.

03:17:50.000 The entomology, I think that's the word, of that word. 0.99

03:17:53.000 The word faggot. 0.99

03:17:54.000 It was even misspoke on the Louis C.K. show that they said that it was originally that the reason why they use that term for gay people is because it's a bundle of sticks and they would light the bundle of sticks on fire. 1.00

03:18:10.000 And so the reason why they call someone a faggot and the reason why it was so offensive is because that means that they're to be lit on fire. 0.99

03:18:17.000 That's not true. 1.00

03:18:18.000 Really?

03:18:18.000 No, that's not true.

03:18:19.000 And it wouldn't have taken long to research this.

03:18:21.000 The actual origin, what it means is it's a bundle of wood, like a burdensome woman. 1.00

03:18:27.000 A faggot is very difficult to carry because it's like a bundle of wood and it's very difficult to balance. 1.00

03:18:35.000 It's cumbersome. 1.00

03:18:36.000 So a burdensome woman became a faggot. 1.00

03:18:40.000 So a guy who acted like a woman, like a burdensome woman, became a faggot. 1.00

03:18:45.000 It had nothing to do with lighting anyone on fire. 0.99

03:18:48.000 And there's no evidence, I mean, other than isolated hate crimes, there's no evidence of a practice of lighting people on fire.

03:18:56.000 Other than war, you know, some horrible things that people have done when they've conquered cities, they've lit entire villages on fire and shit along those lines.

03:19:04.000 But for the most part, even the Salem witch trials, like most people think that they lit those people on fire, most of them were drowned. 0.56

03:19:13.000 I mean,

03:19:32.000 it's still... 0.79

03:19:36.000 It's still a gross word when you're applying it to a homosexual person to sort of dehumanize them. 0.95

03:19:44.000 It's still a gross term.

03:19:45.000 But that's not what it originally meant.

03:19:47.000 Man, a burdensome woman. 1.00

03:19:49.000 Yeah, I've never heard the fire before, but I've always heard the wood. 0.98

03:19:52.000 And if you talk to your gay friends, it's okay if they say it back and forth to you. 1.00

03:19:58.000 You're such a faggot. 1.00

03:19:59.000 You do it around, other dudes that are gay are going to punch you. 1.00

03:20:01.000 Gay dudes are dudes, man. 1.00

03:20:02.000 Hey, make sure that I'm correct on that. 0.91

03:20:06.000 I'm 99% sure I am. 0.99

03:20:08.000 But the entomology of the word faggot pertains to a burdensome woman. 1.00

03:20:16.000 As it pertains. 0.99

03:20:17.000 It's one of those things that just gets sort of repeated as an urban myth. 0.98

03:20:24.000 It's weird how many different fucking slurs there are for people. 0.95

03:20:30.000 It almost, in some ways, would be better if there's just one and we use it universally. 0.98

03:20:37.000 What would yours be?

03:20:40.000 For everybody. 1.00

03:20:42.000 Like, it's too hard to call morons. 1.00

03:20:45.000 Like, moron is always good. 1.00

03:20:47.000 What does it say here, Jamie? 1.00

03:20:49.000 You see that?

03:20:50.000 No, make that a little bigger. 0.99

03:20:52.000 The word faggot has been used in English since the late 60s. 0.99

03:20:55.000 16th century and is an abusive term for women, particularly old women. 1.00

03:20:59.000 In reference to homosexuality may derive from this. 0.61

03:21:04.000 A female, as female terms are often used with reference to homosexual effeminate men. 0.98

03:21:14.000 The application of a term to a woman is possibly the shortening of the term faggot gatherer applied to 19th century people. 0.99

03:21:22.000 I'm going to call Milo that from now on. 0.77

03:21:25.000 Especially older women who made a meager living by gathering and selling firewood. 1.00

03:21:31.000 Interesting.

03:21:32.000 Hmm.

03:21:33.000 Also, a sense of something awkward to be carried.

03:21:37.000 Okay, that's where it is.

03:21:38.000 So, compared to the use of the word baggage.

03:21:40.000 Okay, that makes sense.

03:21:42.000 As a pejorative term for old people in general.

03:21:45.000 So, awkward to carry baggage.

03:21:48.000 Okay.

03:21:48.000 Yeah, so that's essentially it.

03:21:50.000 So that's where it came from.

03:21:51.000 Comparing men to women, not comparing men to something that they light on fire.

03:21:56.000 So when people say that, it's just not true.

03:21:58.000 It doesn't excuse people for slurs, but we shouldn't lie.

03:22:02.000 You know, and that's the problem.

03:22:03.000 Something sounds so good, you want to repeat it over and over again, but it's not true.

03:22:07.000 Like, yeah, it's terrible to slur people.

03:22:09.000 Yes, you're right.

03:22:10.000 But we should be honest about the origin of words, you know, and that's not honest.

03:22:14.000 But it's something that gets repeated a lot, and people don't look into it at all.

03:22:18.000 They just want to say it because it sounds awesome.

03:22:21.000 And when you say it, well, the reason why it's so offensive is because at one point in time, that's what they use to describe a bundle of wood, okay? 0.99

03:22:29.000 So when you just, and your friends, you think you're funny, you think you're casually calling each other faggots, okay? 0.99

03:22:35.000 Calling each other the other F word. 0.99

03:22:37.000 How long before faggot becomes the other F word? 1.00

03:22:39.000 Has it already happened? 1.00

03:22:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:22:41.000 Has it already happened?

03:22:42.000 I think so, right?

03:22:46.000 Riders on the storm. 0.99

03:22:49.000 Anything you want to add before we wrap this bitch up? 1.00

03:22:53.000 I'll be with George Perez, Ontario, October 20th. 0.96

03:22:56.000 Powerful Ontario improv.

03:22:58.000 That's a fun place, man.

03:22:59.000 Good.

03:23:00.000 That's a good spot.

03:23:01.000 We're super lucky in California that we have... 1.00

03:23:04.000 I heard the Oxnard one is the shit. 1.00

03:23:06.000 Yeah, me too. 1.00

03:23:07.000 That's a new one.

03:23:08.000 But think of just the improv chain alone.

03:23:10.000 You've got Oxnard, you've got Brea, you've got Irvine, you've got Ontario... 0.87

03:23:14.000 All those fucking badass places to work all within a couple hours drive. 0.90

03:23:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:23:18.000 I mean, if you're like a Southern California comic, the improvs are the shit. 1.00

03:23:23.000 I love it. 1.00

03:23:24.000 We're lucky. 0.95

03:23:25.000 We're fucking super lucky. 0.96

03:23:26.000 And we didn't even mention Hollywood. 0.98

03:23:28.000 Oh, yeah.

03:23:28.000 I mean, there's the big one in Hollywood, which is one of the oldest and best clubs in the world.

03:23:33.000 I mean, what a strong chain.

03:23:35.000 You know, that's amazing. 1.00

03:23:36.000 I work those fucking clubs all the time, man. 0.99

03:23:39.000 I'm always there. 0.99

03:23:41.000 It's amazing when you stop and think about it. 0.98

03:23:44.000 Like, what other fucking city has that many major clubs that close like that? 0.98

03:23:48.000 Dude, we're so lucky. 0.99

03:23:50.000 Yeah.

03:23:51.000 But Ontario is awesome.

03:23:52.000 George Perez is awesome too.

03:23:54.000 I love working with George. 0.83

03:23:55.000 He's fucking hilarious and he's such a good person. 0.93

03:23:58.000 He's a great dude, man. 0.94

03:23:59.000 I love that guy.

03:24:01.000 He's fun.

03:24:02.000 We have fun on the shows because you get this cool death squad mixed with Mexican audience and it just works. 1.00

03:24:09.000 It's a good time.

03:24:10.000 I bet, man.

03:24:11.000 He's fun.

03:24:12.000 I should do some shows with you guys.

03:24:14.000 Yeah, love it.

03:24:15.000 I want to get some of his crowd and see what that's like. 1.00

03:24:19.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

03:24:19.000 Oh, it's a party. 1.00

03:24:21.000 It's a party.

03:24:22.000 He's a fun guy.

03:24:23.000 He was a fun guy to do a podcast with, man.

03:24:25.000 He's a smart dude.

03:24:27.000 All right. 1.00

03:24:29.000 That's it, you fuckers. 1.00

03:24:30.000 We'll be back tomorrow. 1.00

03:24:32.000 And until then...

03:24:34.000 Oh, Russell Peters.

03:24:35.000 And that's it.

03:24:36.000 See you guys.

03:24:37.000 Bye.

03:24:37.000 Thank you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 13, 2016

Joe Rogan Experience #859 - Brian Redban

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript