The Joe Rogan Experience - October 14, 2016


Joe Rogan Experience #860 - Russell Peters

Topics
damage to the brain MMA and street fighting Cat Williams black Mormons Johnny Depp real estate sale Hicks comedy style Corellin fighting genetics Cyborg vs. Amanda Nunez Kat Zingano Amanda Nunez-Ronda Rousey fight women's MMA champions Rumble Albuquerque MMA training Canelo vs. Floyd Mayweather fight Henderson vs. Bisping fight John Lineker Bernard Hopkins fight Andre Ward Kovalev monkey deer mounting wolf dogs coyotes in urban LA acid reflux FDA dangers of proton pump inhibitors drugs vegetarianism in India isolation tank cheat day stem cell treatments
Hosted by
Joe Rogan
Guests
Russell Peters
Mentioned
Russell Peters Canelo Holly Holm George St. Pierre Bernard Hopkins Daniel Cormier Floyd Mayweather Ronda Rousey Misha Tate John F. Kennedy Mormons Lamb Rogan Josh Richard Pryor Steve Harvey Andy Kindler Chad Dawson Alex Ariza Matt Serra Jamie Gennady Golovkin and 130 more
Joe Rogan Experience #858 - Jesse Ventura Joe Rogan Experience #861 - Bryan Callen

Episode Stats


Length

3 hours and 8 minutes

Words per minute

193.87

Word count

36,480

Sentence count

4,887

Harmful content

Misogyny

180

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1,079

sentences flagged

Hate speech

77

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Joey is in Chicago filming a comedy special and the boys go back to the 80's and talk about it. They also talk about Chris Rock getting $40 million for a Chris Rock special, and how the 23rd century is going to change the way we live in the 21st century. They also discuss the return of pre-ripped pants and how women should dress in them. And of course, they talk about how women shouldn t have to dress like they do in the early 90's and why they don t need them anymore. The boys also discuss why they like the way women dress in heels and short shorts now and how they don't need them in the late 90's. Also, the boys talk about what they would like to see in the future of women in office buildings and how we should dress like we did in the 70's and early 80's, and why we don't want to see women wearing heels. They finish up the episode with a discussion about what we should and shouldn't we wear in the workplace. We hope you enjoy this episode, it's a good one! Cheers! -The Cheers Crew! CHEers, The Cheers Gang. -Jon & Matt Music: Chacho & The Guys Logo by Zane Music by Jeff Kaale (c) and the Crew ( ) Artwork by Kevin McLeod ( ) Music by John Rocha ( ) and Matt Knost ( ) is (Music by Jeff McElroy and the Conspiracies & the Crew is ( ) ( ) & The Music is by John McElton ( ) ( The Good, the Good, The Bad, the Bad, The Evil, The Great, The Beautiful, The Good and The Bad & The Beautiful (feat. & The Good Good, The Bad and The Great Thank You ( & ) ( , ) is a production of Fucking Great Music is Copyright ( ) by . (Recorded in Chicago, ) and , and (?) (and in Chicago ( ) in Rosemont, Illinois, Chicago, Illinois ( ) . and ) & ( ), and , is . ( ) , Is This Is My Name? ( & , "The Good, Good, Great, and The Wrong,

Transcript

Transcripts from "The Joe Rogan Experience" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 It's been three years since he texted back.
00:00:02.000 We are live right now, and our brother Joey Coco Diaz is in Chicago tonight.
00:00:08.000 If you are lucky to get tickets to his show at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois.
00:00:13.000 It's not technically Chicago, right?
00:00:15.000 How far away is that?
00:00:15.000 Rosemont's like 20 minutes, 20 minutes.
00:00:17.000 Just outside.
00:00:18.000 That's where Joey is, and he's filming tonight.
00:00:21.000 For CISO. What's CISO? Yeah, exactly.
00:00:23.000 Some new thing that Doug Stanhope has a special on CISO. Now Joey has a special on CISO. And apparently it's like NBC is doing something.
00:00:33.000 Something that NBC is doing.
00:00:34.000 Well, Netflix is giving apparently $40 million to Chris Rock.
00:00:38.000 What?
00:00:39.000 Did you hear that?
00:00:40.000 What?
00:00:40.000 $40 million for two specials.
00:00:43.000 Jesus. 0.99
00:00:44.000 That's fucking insane. 1.00
00:00:47.000 Jesus. 1.00
00:00:47.000 That's $20 million to special. 1.00
00:00:50.000 That's a record.
00:00:51.000 Yeah, I would say.
00:00:52.000 They got into a bidding war with HBO apparently for like...
00:00:55.000 Wow. 1.00
00:00:56.000 HBO went up to $30 million and then Netflix said, fuck you, here's $40. 1.00
00:00:59.000 Holy shit, Netflix is ballin'. 1.00
00:01:01.000 Yeah, but now I feel gypped. 1.00
00:01:05.000 Netflix is out of control right now, but so is HBO. I've been watching Westworld.
00:01:09.000 Have you watched Westworld yet?
00:01:10.000 Is that on HBO? Yeah.
00:01:11.000 Holy shit, it's good. 0.99
00:01:13.000 I've heard about it, but I thought it was on CBS or something. 0.99
00:01:16.000 Good.
00:01:17.000 Yeah?
00:01:17.000 It's good.
00:01:18.000 That's where they go into that weird, like a fake world and...
00:01:22.000 Yeah, it's like, it's based on that 1973 movie with Yul Brynner, Westworld.
00:01:28.000 Good old Yul.
00:01:29.000 Yeah, which was basically the same kind of movie.
00:01:31.000 It was basically the same as the show.
00:01:33.000 How many times was I going to say basically in the first five minutes?
00:01:36.000 But what it was is, you know, so people can go and have like a fantasy and live in the Wild West, but obviously the robots don't play, and they start malfunctioning, and that's where I'm in episode two.
00:01:48.000 It's kind of like Cowboy Logan's Run.
00:01:52.000 Logan's Run.
00:01:53.000 Wow, I don't even remember that.
00:01:54.000 Really?
00:01:54.000 You don't remember Logan's Run?
00:01:55.000 I barely remember.
00:01:56.000 I was trying to remember.
00:01:57.000 I loved Logan's Run when I was a kid.
00:01:58.000 What was Logan's Run?
00:01:59.000 Was it a series or was it a movie?
00:02:01.000 It was a series.
00:02:01.000 I think it was a movie and then it became a series.
00:02:06.000 Yeah, there it is.
00:02:08.000 Oh, wow.
00:02:09.000 I remember the poster.
00:02:10.000 Welcome to the 23rd century.
00:02:12.000 Isn't that weird?
00:02:13.000 That is weird.
00:02:14.000 It's so weird what they thought we were going to be living like.
00:02:17.000 Do you remember Space 1999?
00:02:20.000 Oh, yeah.
00:02:20.000 I remember everything was...
00:02:21.000 I remember when I was breakdancing in 1984, there was a move called the 1990 where you jumped on...
00:02:27.000 You remember that move?
00:02:27.000 You flipped upside down on one hand and spun.
00:02:30.000 The move that Cuba Gooding Jr. did in...
00:02:33.000 Go back.
00:02:34.000 Go back to those pictures.
00:02:35.000 Go back to the first one you went to.
00:02:37.000 Look at that.
00:02:37.000 They got one thing right.
00:02:39.000 People are going to be wearing pre-ripped pants like assholes. 1.00
00:02:42.000 And girls are going to be showing their vaginas. 1.00
00:02:44.000 They got both of those things right. 0.99
00:02:47.000 And that hairstyle's back.
00:02:49.000 Both hairstyles are back.
00:02:50.000 Chicks are wearing hairstyles like that too. 1.00
00:02:54.000 So what was the move?
00:02:56.000 The 1990?
00:02:56.000 It was called the 1990. Oh, that's good stuff.
00:02:58.000 Is that real?
00:02:59.000 That's cosplay.
00:03:01.000 Keep causing, girl. 1.00
00:03:02.000 Yeah.
00:03:03.000 Whatever you're doing, I like it.
00:03:07.000 I'm so happy that girls still dress like that. 1.00
00:03:09.000 All this crazy talk of women not dressing sexy or alluring like that is just disturbing to me, Russell Peters.
00:03:18.000 I don't want that to change.
00:03:19.000 I mean, you know, it depends on when and where they're doing it, right?
00:03:22.000 No, do it whenever you want.
00:03:24.000 Give them the green light.
00:03:26.000 Office buildings, everything.
00:03:27.000 Office buildings would be great. 1.00
00:03:28.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:03:29.000 I remember going into office buildings, just getting a hard-on, looking at the secretaries and the heels. 1.00
00:03:32.000 A full hard-on?
00:03:33.000 I was in my early 20s, late 19s, you know? 1.00
00:03:36.000 You're a madman. 1.00
00:03:37.000 I was a lunatic. 1.00
00:03:38.000 You're a different kind of guy. 1.00
00:03:40.000 I was knocking shit over with my cock. 1.00
00:03:41.000 You didn't grab any pussies, though, did you? 1.00
00:03:42.000 I was not a pussy grabber. 1.00
00:03:44.000 I'm not either. 1.00
00:03:45.000 No, I don't even know how you'd grab a pussy without actually fingering it. 1.00
00:03:48.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:03:48.000 Like, how do you grab it on the outside? 1.00
00:03:50.000 Maybe that's the benefit of having those little hands.
00:03:53.000 Yeah, those little hands could just fully grab it. 1.00
00:03:56.000 Like one of those folder holder things that you use to...
00:04:00.000 Those little paper clips?
00:04:00.000 Yeah.
00:04:01.000 Oh, I know those ones.
00:04:02.000 Clamps.
00:04:03.000 With the little stainless steel...
00:04:07.000 Donald Clamp running for president.
00:04:11.000 Clamp and pinch. 0.99
00:04:12.000 There's a fucking hilarious meme that I saw that somebody put online. 0.99
00:04:16.000 It's so funny. 0.98
00:04:18.000 It shows different presidential quotes throughout history.
00:04:24.000 The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
00:04:26.000 Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
00:04:28.000 Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.
00:04:31.000 John F. Kennedy. 1.00
00:04:33.000 Grab them by the pussy. 1.00
00:04:34.000 Donald Trump. 1.00
00:04:36.000 This is where we are.
00:04:38.000 This is really where we are.
00:04:40.000 We turned reality into reality.
00:04:43.000 Yeah.
00:04:43.000 Do you think that that's what started it all?
00:04:45.000 That like reality TV, like from Survivor on, exposing the world to, instead of to people that we've created, like Magnum P.I. or, you know...
00:04:57.000 Fill in the blank.
00:04:58.000 Yeah, they gave us things.
00:05:00.000 We used to have things to strive to want to be.
00:05:03.000 Yes.
00:05:04.000 And then they took it down to lowest common denominator and made us go, oh, thank God they took away all that and now we can just be normal again.
00:05:11.000 We can be hopeless.
00:05:13.000 Yeah, they brought it down to Snooki.
00:05:14.000 Yeah.
00:05:15.000 You know, they went from people that you could never be like.
00:05:21.000 MacGyver, yeah.
00:05:21.000 Gets out of every situation.
00:05:25.000 That's confusing too though, right?
00:05:27.000 Because people start thinking that they can be MacGyver or that they can solve the world's problems.
00:05:31.000 Well, it gets your brain moving.
00:05:33.000 It kind of gives a little jog.
00:05:34.000 It makes you think sideways and gives you the opportunity to think laterally.
00:05:39.000 But when you've got a dummy just saying things that you want to hear, you go, ugh.
00:05:43.000 Okay, I can turn it off now, guys.
00:05:44.000 That's the one thing that confuses me the most about Donald Trump. 1.00
00:05:47.000 I didn't know there were that many assholes out there. 0.99
00:05:50.000 Like, I kind of knew, but I didn't know they were going to organize. 0.99
00:05:53.000 It's weird to me that, you know, when you meet people that, again, you thought were level-headed, thinking people.
00:05:59.000 Is that Eric B., like Eric B. and Rakim?
00:06:02.000 Yeah.
00:06:02.000 Oh, nice.
00:06:03.000 Eric B. is actually living at my house in Vegas right now. 1.00
00:06:06.000 Shut the fuck up! 1.00
00:06:07.000 Really? 1.00
00:06:08.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:06:09.000 Damn, dude. 1.00
00:06:10.000 You know, I keep it hip-hop, son. 1.00
00:06:12.000 You do?
00:06:12.000 Yeah.
00:06:13.000 You do.
00:06:14.000 What about Rakim?
00:06:15.000 Rakim's not living in the house, no.
00:06:17.000 No?
00:06:18.000 Secretly, I think they may be getting back together.
00:06:20.000 Secretly?
00:06:21.000 You just gave it up on the air.
00:06:21.000 I mean, I can't say that they are.
00:06:23.000 I said they may be.
00:06:24.000 Well, you're starting rumors.
00:06:25.000 Is that what we're doing now?
00:06:27.000 That's the way to go to get that one started.
00:06:29.000 Trying to get everybody paid.
00:06:32.000 Oh, I love those guys.
00:06:33.000 We were just talking about them yesterday.
00:06:34.000 Were you?
00:06:35.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:06:36.000 Who was on yesterday?
00:06:36.000 Was that Jesse?
00:06:38.000 Jesse Ventura and then Red Band.
00:06:39.000 But we were talking about Eric B and Rakim.
00:06:42.000 We were talking about EPMD. Yeah, I'm friends with DJ Scratch from EPMD. Oh, shit!
00:06:46.000 I'm almost friends with the DJ of the group. 1.00
00:06:48.000 Have you noticed that?
00:06:49.000 Yeah, well, you're a DJ. That makes sense.
00:06:51.000 It's like us being friends with comedians.
00:06:53.000 Yeah, we happen to know one or two of them.
00:06:55.000 Yeah.
00:06:56.000 Isn't it a funny thing about being a comic?
00:06:58.000 Like, you run into another comic somewhere, and you're like, Oh, you!
00:07:02.000 Come here, you! 1.00
00:07:03.000 We're around regular people.
00:07:05.000 Get over here! 1.00
00:07:06.000 We're all left-brain thinkers.
00:07:07.000 We need to be together.
00:07:08.000 Is that what it is?
00:07:09.000 Yeah.
00:07:10.000 That's the left-brain? 0.74
00:07:11.000 Yeah.
00:07:12.000 That's what I've heard.
00:07:12.000 Is that real?
00:07:13.000 I don't know. 0.93
00:07:14.000 Like, if you kick somebody in the left side of the head, does it fuck up their jokes? 0.91
00:07:16.000 I don't know. 0.54
00:07:17.000 Somebody sent me something that says, uh...
00:07:21.000 That's in my iTunes.
00:07:23.000 It's on my iTunes.
00:07:25.000 Whatever, but it was about how some sort of head trauma can make your brain relate everything to a joke after.
00:07:32.000 Well, there's a book that Sam Kinison's brother wrote, Brother Sam, and it's all about how Sam, well, it's all about Sam, but a big part of it is how Sam changed when he got hit by a car. 0.97
00:07:44.000 He was a little kid, and he got nailed by a car and really fucked up. 0.99
00:07:48.000 And from that point on, he became this maniac, this wild, crazy, reckless motherfucker. 1.00
00:07:54.000 Like, before that, he was like a normal kid. 1.00
00:07:56.000 And bang! 0.70
00:07:57.000 One hard shot to the head, and all of a sudden he's like, oh, oh! 0.94
00:08:02.000 Like all the crazy ranting and the sermons he used to give.
00:08:05.000 I guess when you get close to death, you look at it one of two ways, right?
00:08:09.000 I don't think that's it.
00:08:10.000 I think it's traumatic brain injury. 0.99
00:08:12.000 That's what I'm saying, but like, again, your brain goes, oh, fuck, well, we didn't suffer through that, now let's just enjoy the rest of this. 0.99
00:08:18.000 That would be nice if that made sense. 0.98
00:08:21.000 If that was a fact, I don't know, but I like making up my own facts.
00:08:24.000 Yeah!
00:08:25.000 I think what it is is damage.
00:08:27.000 I think damage to the brain, like actual physical damage, affects impulse control.
00:08:32.000 And it has something to do with that and getting angry quicker.
00:08:38.000 There's a bunch of factors that come into play that you see with football players, too.
00:08:44.000 You think they'd be hilarious after all those times.
00:08:46.000 I know, right?
00:08:47.000 Maybe they are. 1.00
00:08:48.000 Maybe we need to find one right before they become too stupid to talk. 1.00
00:08:51.000 Just ask them, like, what do you find? 1.00
00:08:53.000 I mean, they weren't that bright to begin with.
00:08:55.000 How dare you say that?
00:08:57.000 They can be bright.
00:08:58.000 If they were big and giant and they wanted to make money, football's the way to go, right?
00:09:02.000 What else are you going to do?
00:09:02.000 Be a strong man?
00:09:04.000 I don't know.
00:09:04.000 I mean, you could fight.
00:09:06.000 How much does Strongman mean?
00:09:07.000 You can't even fight if you're that big.
00:09:08.000 Because, like, at 265 pounds, that's the weight limit for MMA. There's a limit on it now.
00:09:14.000 There's a fucking limit. 0.99
00:09:14.000 That's so weird. 0.99
00:09:15.000 So weird.
00:09:16.000 Because, remember, Emmanuel Yarbrough, what was he?
00:09:18.000 600 pounds?
00:09:19.000 Yeah, well, look what happened to him. 0.99
00:09:20.000 Keith Hackney bitch slapped him in a coma. 0.99
00:09:22.000 That's true, that's true. 0.99
00:09:23.000 Didn't he break his wrist on that? 1.00
00:09:24.000 He hit him with a bitch slap. 1.00
00:09:26.000 It was that side, weird, side... 1.00
00:09:27.000 Well, once he got him down, he was hammerfisting him.
00:09:30.000 He was, like, one of the first guys to do the hammerfist in a fight.
00:09:33.000 I remember seeing that and going, that's a terrible punch.
00:09:35.000 It's effective.
00:09:36.000 You know what's cool about a hammer fist is, like, you can do this to the table, like this oak table, and it doesn't hurt your hand at all.
00:09:43.000 But if you did that with your knuckles, you'd be like, ah!
00:09:46.000 But it's weird that we punch with our knuckles.
00:09:48.000 Well, you know, we just associate this soft, padded part as not going to hurt you.
00:09:53.000 Exactly. 0.99
00:09:53.000 It fucking hurts a lot. 0.99
00:09:55.000 Like, hammer fists are very effective. 0.99
00:09:59.000 Have you hammer-fisted anybody?
00:10:00.000 No.
00:10:01.000 No, I never hammer-fisted anybody.
00:10:03.000 Not that I can remember.
00:10:05.000 I just realized we went into fisting real quick.
00:10:08.000 When you're spitting back-fist somebody, there's two ways to do it.
00:10:11.000 You could do it with the actual back of the hand, but that hurts.
00:10:14.000 Like, if you hit someone's chin...
00:10:15.000 Yeah, it's very tender there. 1.00
00:10:16.000 Yeah, if you hit someone's chin with the very back of your hand, you could fuck your hand. 1.00
00:10:19.000 You could break your hand, for sure. 1.00
00:10:20.000 But the right way to do a spitting back-fist is with the hand down, with the palm of the hand facing down with the fist.
00:10:26.000 So, in that way, you are hammer-fisting someone.
00:10:29.000 It's really a spinning hammer fist.
00:10:31.000 More than a spinning back fist.
00:10:33.000 That's the way to do it right.
00:10:34.000 I've never done a spinning back fist on anybody.
00:10:36.000 No?
00:10:36.000 No.
00:10:36.000 It's a brutal move.
00:10:37.000 You gotta really time that one right.
00:10:40.000 Yeah, you do. 1.00
00:10:41.000 You gotta know what the fuck you're doing. 0.99
00:10:41.000 You gotta be very confident knowing that you're turning your back on the guy real quick. 0.99
00:10:45.000 It's weird how the different ways people figured out how to fuck people up. 0.96
00:10:49.000 I was watching a street fight today between these two chicks. 1.00
00:10:53.000 Here?
00:10:54.000 For real?
00:10:54.000 No, no, no.
00:10:54.000 It was on Instagram.
00:10:56.000 Oh, was it the one where the girl said, Kick my ass, bitch! 1.00
00:11:00.000 Kick my ass! 1.00
00:11:00.000 You said you were going to kick my ass! 1.00
00:11:02.000 Kick my ass, bitch! 1.00
00:11:03.000 It was two white girls sounding like really ghetto black girls for some reason. 1.00
00:11:05.000 I didn't even listen because my wife was there. 1.00
00:11:07.000 I just watched.
00:11:08.000 A blonde girl and her head hits the car. 1.00
00:11:11.000 Yes!
00:11:11.000 Yeah, I've seen that one.
00:11:12.000 Dude!
00:11:13.000 See, you know.
00:11:14.000 Yeah, she throws her to the ground. 1.00
00:11:17.000 She kind of curbs her a little bit, too. 0.96
00:11:20.000 Beats the fuck out of her. 1.00
00:11:21.000 And she got attacked. 0.99
00:11:22.000 She got attacked.
00:11:23.000 She totally turned around. 1.00
00:11:24.000 Beat that girl's ass. 1.00
00:11:25.000 Yeah, and she kept chasing her, and that girl kept talking shit. 1.00
00:11:28.000 Yes, while she was beating the fuck out of her. 1.00
00:11:29.000 I'm like, well, you know, if you hit her on the jaw, maybe she'd go to sleep and you wouldn't have to hear her talk anymore. 0.99
00:11:33.000 But the girl, my point was when she had her down, she's hammer fisting him. 1.00
00:11:37.000 People know that's a legit move now.
00:11:39.000 MMA has changed street fighting forever.
00:11:42.000 It really has. 1.00
00:11:43.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00
00:11:44.000 People know. 1.00
00:11:44.000 They know what to do now. 1.00
00:11:46.000 And you could see, especially with kids, there's a ton of videos of trained kids who actually know how to fight and they get attacked by someone who doesn't know how to fight and they wind up armbarring them or getting them in a mounted triangle.
00:11:57.000 Like the kid that did that to Cat Williams.
00:11:59.000 Oh yes!
00:12:00.000 Yeah, well that kid was a wrestler, yeah.
00:12:01.000 Yeah, he was 17. I thought he was only 15. Whatever he was, he was a teenager.
00:12:06.000 Yes.
00:12:07.000 And he got him in a nice seat, stretched him out and everything.
00:12:10.000 He got his back and just stretched him. 0.98
00:12:12.000 What the fuck is wrong with Cat Williams? 0.99
00:12:14.000 I don't know, man. 0.99
00:12:15.000 He's one of us.
00:12:16.000 What's he doing?
00:12:17.000 I don't know.
00:12:17.000 He's one of us, but he's also one of those guys, it seems like, who's hitting that pipe every now and then.
00:12:22.000 I don't know.
00:12:23.000 I can't confirm nor deny those allegations.
00:12:25.000 There's definitely some stimulants involved.
00:12:27.000 Yeah.
00:12:27.000 There's something going on.
00:12:29.000 Yeah, something's gone awry.
00:12:30.000 Yeah, I'm fascinated by him because I think he's one of the best comics alive in bursts, like in moments.
00:12:36.000 But then he'll have these horrible, wretched shows where there's class action lawsuits or people want their money back and he winds up leaving.
00:12:44.000 But then he gets it back together and has some amazing stories. 1.00
00:12:47.000 Like he'll put together a special and have amazing stories based on all the fucked up shit he did. 1.00
00:12:52.000 It's almost like he does it on purpose. 1.00
00:12:54.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
00:12:55.000 But I don't think he does.
00:12:56.000 But it seems like he could write the ship. 1.00
00:12:59.000 Like he's just like, fuck it, I'm steering into the wind! 0.99
00:13:02.000 He steers into the wind and then he's like, alright, that did not work out. 0.99
00:13:05.000 We gotta get the Cat Williams boat back online.
00:13:07.000 We gotta turn this around, there's an iceberg coming.
00:13:09.000 Yeah, and he figures out how to right the ship, and then he comes back around.
00:13:13.000 But, man. 0.97
00:13:14.000 When he's on, he's fucking funny. 0.99
00:13:17.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:13:17.000 Because he's fearless. 0.98
00:13:19.000 Yeah.
00:13:19.000 Absolutely fearless.
00:13:21.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:13:21.000 He definitely does not give a fuck. 0.99
00:13:23.000 And with his hair, something about that conked out hair, and the sweat, you know? 0.99
00:13:28.000 And profuse sweat.
00:13:30.000 That's that Molly sweat. 1.00
00:13:36.000 Sweating that MDMA out of your system.
00:13:39.000 Did you ever see the time where him and Steve Harvey, they did this thing together.
00:13:45.000 It was real weird.
00:13:46.000 It was like they were touring together.
00:13:49.000 That doesn't make any sense to me.
00:13:50.000 At all.
00:13:51.000 Steve Harvey would go on first, and then Cat Williams would go on second. 0.98
00:13:54.000 And I guess they were talking shit about each other leading up to the show. 0.97
00:13:59.000 So Steve Harvey goes on, and then Cat Williams spends the first ten minutes mocking him. 0.99
00:14:06.000 And it is fucking brutal and hilarious. 0.97
00:14:10.000 Well, I'm with Kat on that one. 0.99
00:14:12.000 Yeah, it's hard to not be.
00:14:14.000 That Steve Harvey guy's a weird dude.
00:14:17.000 I've never met him, actually.
00:14:19.000 27 years in this game, I never met Steve Harvey.
00:14:21.000 Well, I met him a long time ago, back when he was essentially doing a Richard Pryor impression.
00:14:27.000 When I met him in the 90s, he was doing Richard Pryor on stage.
00:14:31.000 I mean, it was crazy.
00:14:33.000 If you didn't know, you would think, is this guy auditioning for a Richard Pryor movie or something like that?
00:14:38.000 Yeah, I don't remember his stand-up.
00:14:40.000 At all from back then.
00:14:41.000 Well, it wasn't like he was doing Pryor's material.
00:14:43.000 But he was talking as if he was Richard Pryor!
00:14:48.000 Right.
00:14:48.000 You know, there was the whole thing.
00:14:51.000 Like, guys, you know how it is.
00:14:53.000 You get influenced.
00:14:55.000 Yeah.
00:14:56.000 Did you ever do that?
00:14:58.000 No, I mean, I was always into, like, Carlin and stuff like that, so I was not smart enough to copy Carlin.
00:15:04.000 I mean, I knew my intelligence level was far lesser than Carlin, so I would just do what I did.
00:15:10.000 I caught myself on stage once, sounded exactly like Richard Cheney, and I was like, Jesus.
00:15:15.000 Oh, wow.
00:15:16.000 Exactly.
00:15:17.000 You went in.
00:15:18.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:15:18.000 I mean, I was open-miker.
00:15:20.000 Now there's a whole slew of comics that try to sound like Mitch.
00:15:26.000 Really? 0.97
00:15:26.000 Yeah, there's a few of them out there, and it freaks me out, and everyone's on their dick, and I'm like, wait, you know that's Mitch, right, that they're doing? 0.97
00:15:34.000 Well, like, okay, you can't tell me names, but... 0.99
00:15:36.000 Yeah.
00:15:36.000 Well, Hedberg had such a...
00:15:50.000 We're good to go.
00:15:59.000 But it's interesting, you know, that's one of the reasons why some comics...
00:16:02.000 And everybody with the...
00:16:02.000 What's that?
00:16:04.000 That's a cellar thing.
00:16:06.000 What are you doing?
00:16:07.000 I get it.
00:16:09.000 Everything makes them...
00:16:11.000 Who does that?
00:16:12.000 Who's that coming from?
00:16:14.000 When you go to the cellar next time you talk to guys...
00:16:15.000 It's just a group of all of them? 0.99
00:16:16.000 You'll just hear everybody and you'll be like, oh my god, that's the fucking cellar talk. 0.99
00:16:19.000 I like it. 1.00
00:16:20.000 Clicks.
00:16:21.000 It is a little clicky, but...
00:16:22.000 Little clicks.
00:16:23.000 But I get sucked into it when I'm there too.
00:16:25.000 I just do it because I'm around them.
00:16:26.000 I mean, I'm like, I guess this is what we're doing, guys.
00:16:29.000 Yeah, it's interesting how little clubs like The Cellar just spawn.
00:16:34.000 They just take off, and it's become the spot.
00:16:37.000 I mean, you think about how many spots could be the spot in New York City.
00:16:40.000 Yeah.
00:16:41.000 Doesn't New York City, like, have a hundred comedy clubs or something crazy?
00:16:44.000 There's a ton of them, and there's new ones opening all the time, and then there's people try doing a nice one or a classier one, and... 0.99
00:16:50.000 That shit never works. 0.99
00:16:52.000 Yeah, you need the nice grimy cellar. 1.00
00:16:54.000 I mean, it is what it is.
00:16:55.000 Low ceiling, everybody packed in real tight, and then you get the A-list of comics walking through there.
00:17:02.000 Yeah, just to practice.
00:17:03.000 Isn't it funny that it's also funny, too, that to practice, the best place to practice is a little tiny place.
00:17:09.000 Always.
00:17:09.000 Yeah.
00:17:10.000 Yeah.
00:17:10.000 You don't want to practice in front of a room full of people, three, four hundred people.
00:17:15.000 Have you ever thought about doing a special in front of a tiny group of people?
00:17:21.000 I have, but then, you know, Sarah did the one in front of like 12 people or something like that.
00:17:25.000 She did?
00:17:25.000 Yeah, she did one with a really small audience.
00:17:28.000 Oh, wasn't it Largo?
00:17:29.000 Yeah.
00:17:30.000 How big's Largo?
00:17:31.000 Have you ever been to Largo?
00:17:31.000 Well, she did it in one of the small rooms at Largo.
00:17:33.000 Oh, really?
00:17:34.000 Yeah.
00:17:37.000 But, I mean, if anybody can make that work, Sarah Silverman can.
00:17:40.000 Yeah. 0.96
00:17:41.000 She's fucking funny. 0.99
00:17:42.000 She doesn't do enough. 1.00
00:17:43.000 She doesn't do enough and she doesn't get the respect she deserves. 1.00
00:17:46.000 No.
00:17:46.000 I don't think so either.
00:17:48.000 Yeah, I mean, she's not funny on a curve. 1.00
00:17:50.000 Like, oh, she's a funny woman.
00:17:52.000 No, I told her that once.
00:17:54.000 I said, you know, Sarah, you're one of my favorite comics.
00:17:56.000 Not one of my favorite female comics. 0.96
00:17:57.000 One of my favorite comics as a human being comic.
00:18:00.000 I saw her at the store maybe a year ago and she was murdering. 1.00
00:18:04.000 Just murdering.
00:18:06.000 I was like, man, sometimes I forget how good she is.
00:18:09.000 You forget, A, how good she is, how great her jokes are written.
00:18:12.000 And, you know, I get through this, I go through this little phase when I, like, now I'm back at the zero point with no material.
00:18:18.000 And I've been going out every night, but my trick is to go and host so that way there's not too much expectation on me.
00:18:25.000 Right.
00:18:26.000 That's a good move.
00:18:27.000 Yeah, so I can get my confidence back and then I can see the level of talent around me and what way everybody's thinking and then I can figure out if I want to tell stories or if I want to tell jokes, you know?
00:18:38.000 Right.
00:18:39.000 Yeah.
00:18:40.000 When do you write?
00:18:41.000 Do you write in front of a computer?
00:18:42.000 Do you write on a notebook?
00:18:43.000 I don't physically write anything ever.
00:18:45.000 Really?
00:18:45.000 Ever.
00:18:46.000 A lot of guys are like that.
00:18:47.000 Bill Burr doesn't either.
00:18:48.000 Yeah.
00:18:49.000 I was just with Bill the other night, too.
00:18:51.000 Yeah, we had that conversation about that.
00:18:53.000 I can't.
00:18:54.000 I feel like it's...
00:18:55.000 Well, first of all, I'm too lazy.
00:18:57.000 That's the real issue.
00:18:58.000 It has nothing more to do with anything than, I don't want to sit down and write this.
00:19:02.000 I don't even want to watch my sets.
00:19:04.000 My Almost Famous special's out now.
00:19:06.000 I haven't watched it.
00:19:07.000 No?
00:19:07.000 It was sent to me months ago, and I was like, I can't.
00:19:09.000 Is it on Netflix?
00:19:10.000 Yeah.
00:19:11.000 When did you film it?
00:19:13.000 In April.
00:19:14.000 How many times did you watch it?
00:19:16.000 Not once.
00:19:16.000 You didn't watch it at all to edit it?
00:19:17.000 Not even once.
00:19:18.000 My brother was sat in on the edits, and then my mom was watching it.
00:19:22.000 My mom was in town, so she was watching it in the living room the other day, and I walked past, like, what are you watching?
00:19:27.000 She goes, you! 1.00
00:19:28.000 And then I was listening here and there, and I'm like, why'd they keep that in? 0.99
00:19:31.000 I'm like, that sucks. 0.68
00:19:33.000 Why would you keep that in? 0.92
00:19:34.000 Yeah, I just watched a trailer for my special today, and I don't like watching myself either.
00:19:39.000 Oh yeah, yours is coming out in a week or two?
00:19:41.000 October 21st.
00:19:42.000 Yeah, in a week, basically.
00:19:44.000 Yeah, next Friday, 21st.
00:19:47.000 I opened for you.
00:19:49.000 You did?
00:19:50.000 Yeah, last week, my special aired.
00:19:52.000 Oh, I'm like, what?
00:19:54.000 I know I smoke a lot of pot, but...
00:19:56.000 Yeah, we know we've never done a show together, I don't think.
00:19:59.000 We've done the Ice House.
00:20:00.000 Oh, that's true.
00:20:01.000 I hosted that.
00:20:01.000 Yeah.
00:20:02.000 Well, I'll do it again then. 1.00
00:20:03.000 Fuck yeah, dude. 0.99
00:20:04.000 I like hosting. 1.00
00:20:05.000 It's fun for me.
00:20:05.000 I'm there again on the 28th, Friday the 28th.
00:20:11.000 I think I am in San Jose that weekend, if I'm not mistaken.
00:20:15.000 Oh, really?
00:20:16.000 San Jose.
00:20:16.000 Improv.
00:20:17.000 I love that place. 1.00
00:20:18.000 That fucking improv is the shit. 1.00
00:20:20.000 It's great. 1.00
00:20:20.000 But again, I have no act. 1.00
00:20:22.000 So if anybody is coming out to see me, just understand that I don't have an act right now.
00:20:27.000 Well, you got a little bit of an act.
00:20:29.000 How much do you have?
00:20:30.000 Zip. 1.00
00:20:30.000 I have literally fucking nothing. 1.00
00:20:33.000 I have one joke, and I could say it now, but then it's over. 0.97
00:20:36.000 How much time do you give yourself before you start doing theaters again?
00:20:39.000 I wait till I got jokes, actual jokes.
00:20:43.000 I wait till I got at least 40 minutes. 0.99
00:20:45.000 So do you, like, just keep banging it out and then go, okay, we're good, start booking shit? 0.99
00:20:51.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:20:52.000 Or do you get in, like, a few months and you go, alright, now I'm gonna give myself a deadline?
00:20:56.000 Deadlines are good for us.
00:20:58.000 Yeah.
00:20:59.000 Because otherwise we're just, you know, we'll just keep coasting.
00:21:02.000 That's how, for me, writing a new special is very important. 0.82
00:21:05.000 Like, putting a special out and then chucking it and then writing all new shit, it's so important because otherwise we all know those guys that have been around forever doing the same material. 0.58
00:21:13.000 Oh, I know some comics in Canada. 0.92
00:21:15.000 Hilarious!
00:21:16.000 Their acts are funny as hell, but they've been doing the same act for 30 years.
00:21:20.000 That's so crazy. 1.00
00:21:21.000 And then they give me shit. 1.00
00:21:22.000 I knew the last special wasn't very good. 1.00
00:21:24.000 I go, yeah, well, you know what?
00:21:25.000 You haven't done new material in 30 years.
00:21:27.000 They actually say that to you?
00:21:28.000 You know, I get people that get a little brave on the internet there.
00:21:32.000 They're a little jealous.
00:21:33.000 A little bold.
00:21:34.000 A little jealous of Russell.
00:21:35.000 Russell went international.
00:21:36.000 They'll make their little Facebook statuses.
00:21:38.000 Mr. Worldwide like Pitbull.
00:21:40.000 That's it. 0.52
00:21:40.000 I'm Shitbull. 0.52
00:21:43.000 Shitbull? 1.00
00:21:44.000 You can't help yourself. 1.00
00:21:45.000 It's a fucking puns. 1.00
00:21:47.000 It's a problem. 1.00
00:21:49.000 I was killing Joe with the puns at Kill Tony.
00:21:52.000 Well, I was trapped in a pun sandwich between Tony Hinchcliffe on one side and Russell Peters on the other side, and the puns were flowing like water.
00:21:59.000 Would you like this on bread or a pun?
00:22:01.000 I had to start doing puns myself, and I rarely do puns. 0.99
00:22:04.000 I was throwing them in myself just to keep up with these fucking guys. 1.00
00:22:08.000 We're idiots. 1.00
00:22:09.000 Well, it's such a specific style of joke, the pun. 1.00
00:22:13.000 You know what it is?
00:22:14.000 It takes you back to your father.
00:22:16.000 Because fathers always did puns. 0.97
00:22:19.000 Yeah, that's like the silly, clever thing to say. 0.78
00:22:23.000 My father, you have an uncle who had the puns, what have you. 0.84
00:22:29.000 Yeah, what have you.
00:22:30.000 Dude, you tour everywhere, man.
00:22:32.000 Like, you were in Dubai, and you go all over.
00:22:34.000 I was in Saudi Arabia. 1.00
00:22:35.000 Holy shit! 1.00
00:22:36.000 What is that like? 1.00
00:22:39.000 You do the show as men on one side, women on the other. 0.98
00:22:42.000 Good.
00:22:42.000 Stay over there.
00:22:43.000 Yeah.
00:22:44.000 I was asking them, like, why?
00:22:47.000 Like, why?
00:22:47.000 Why?
00:22:48.000 And they're like, and honestly, the guys were telling me, and these are like normal, or supposed to be normal, level-headed men telling me this.
00:22:54.000 And these weren't, like, you know, any high ups or anything.
00:22:56.000 These were normal guys. 0.54
00:22:58.000 Oh, because the women, they'll go crazy and they'll want to attack us. 1.00
00:23:01.000 I'm like, look at you, dude, and look at them.
00:23:04.000 They're not trying to attack you.
00:23:05.000 They'll want to attack them. 1.00
00:23:07.000 And have sex with them in the streets. 1.00
00:23:09.000 That's what they've been brainwashed into believing. 1.00
00:23:11.000 That if these women aren't separated, they'll just come and attack you and want that dick. 1.00
00:23:16.000 Maybe that is the case, though, when you keep them separated. 1.00
00:23:19.000 If you keep them from men all the time, when they finally get around men, maybe they just jump on dick like a hero on a grenade. 0.95
00:23:24.000 Yeah, but the guys are a little too friendly with each other, as far as I'm concerned. 0.99
00:23:28.000 Gay stuff. 0.98
00:23:29.000 Yeah, but I don't even think they recognize it as homosexual, because they're not attracted to men. 1.00
00:23:34.000 They get horny and they just start jerking each other off. 0.98
00:23:36.000 I don't know that for sure, but I could see that as a possibility. 0.99
00:23:41.000 If you're just around dudes all the time, just repressed, Well, I know dudes who've been in the military who've done tours, and they go overseas to the Middle East, and they say that guys fuck young boys all the time. 0.98
00:23:54.000 That's weird to me. 0.97
00:23:55.000 Well, you think that that's a consequence of the separation between the men and the women?
00:24:01.000 Yeah, I guess.
00:24:02.000 I don't know what it is.
00:24:03.000 It's weird to me.
00:24:04.000 But when I did the show, I played right down the aisle.
00:24:08.000 I stood where the aisle was.
00:24:10.000 When I was on stage, I stood where the aisle was so that I didn't really pick a side.
00:24:13.000 Did you turn like a sprinkler?
00:24:14.000 Yeah, I did.
00:24:15.000 I kept turning like that.
00:24:17.000 Like I was just trying to water half the lawn.
00:24:19.000 Now, when you do shows like that, do you ever worry about doing something that can get you in trouble?
00:24:26.000 It's not so much that I worry about doing stuff that'll get me in trouble.
00:24:29.000 It's doing stuff that they may deem as offensive.
00:24:33.000 Because I know what is offensive.
00:24:35.000 And then you gotta worry about people's sensitivities.
00:24:38.000 So I'll always ask the promoter, like, straight up.
00:24:40.000 I'm like, what can't I talk about?
00:24:43.000 And they're like, no religion.
00:24:45.000 Don't mention the royal family.
00:24:47.000 And try to keep sex to a minimum.
00:24:50.000 I'm like, eh, alright. 0.95
00:24:53.000 Wow, no religion. 0.97
00:24:54.000 Can't you just mock Mormons? 1.00
00:24:55.000 Can't you make fun of Mormons? 1.00
00:24:56.000 You probably could. 1.00
00:24:57.000 Yeah, they wouldn't give a fuck about that. 0.99
00:24:59.000 But they, again, wouldn't know what a Mormon was. 0.99
00:25:00.000 They would think it was a sect.
00:25:02.000 Really?
00:25:02.000 No, I don't know.
00:25:03.000 I'm sure they wouldn't know what a Mormon is.
00:25:05.000 Mormon's very specific to this part of the world.
00:25:08.000 Wasn't it created here?
00:25:09.000 Yeah.
00:25:10.000 Yeah, it was created in...
00:25:11.000 Well, they took over Utah, essentially.
00:25:14.000 What's interesting...
00:25:15.000 Do you perform in Utah a lot?
00:25:17.000 Once or twice.
00:25:18.000 Not very often.
00:25:18.000 It's really interesting.
00:25:19.000 It's a great club.
00:25:20.000 It's great.
00:25:21.000 Yeah.
00:25:21.000 Yeah.
00:25:21.000 Well, Wise Guys and Salt Lake, they have two of them now, right?
00:25:24.000 They have a larger one.
00:25:26.000 They had the original one.
00:25:27.000 I think they opened a larger one.
00:25:28.000 The one down from the mall?
00:25:29.000 I don't remember the address, but...
00:25:33.000 But they have... 1.00
00:25:34.000 Utah's interesting because you have these Mormons, but you have a lot of really cool people that are sick of the Mormons' bullshit. 1.00
00:25:42.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:25:43.000 And they surround them, too.
00:25:44.000 But then, Mormons... 1.00
00:25:46.000 I mean, it's a wacky cult, right?
00:25:47.000 It's very bizarre.
00:25:48.000 But they're really nice!
00:25:50.000 They're some of the nicest cult members ever.
00:25:53.000 Yeah.
00:25:53.000 It's a tough line to walk.
00:25:56.000 Because I'm not sure what their deal is.
00:25:59.000 I'm not sure if they're trying to convert you, but then as a brown guy, I'm like... 0.99
00:26:02.000 Well, they only just started letting us believe their shit about 20 years ago, right? 1.00
00:26:05.000 Didn't they only let black people in like 20 years ago? 1.00
00:26:08.000 Is that what happened?
00:26:09.000 I didn't even know there's any black Mormons.
00:26:11.000 There's got to be like a clan of black Mormons.
00:26:13.000 Please find that, Jamie.
00:26:14.000 Yeah.
00:26:15.000 There's got to be some sort of a group where they get together.
00:26:19.000 They're called more than men's. 0.52
00:26:20.000 Mmm.
00:26:22.000 Jesus Christ.
00:26:23.000 Can't all be good, Joe.
00:26:26.000 Let's pretend that didn't happen.
00:26:29.000 But they have a great spot. 0.98
00:26:31.000 Salt Lake City is goddamn gorgeous. 0.97
00:26:33.000 You know, they have the mountains there. 0.97
00:26:34.000 It is nice.
00:26:35.000 Air is nice up there.
00:26:37.000 Yeah, I love Utah.
00:26:38.000 I walked a lot when I was there.
00:26:39.000 I would walk from the hotel to the gig.
00:26:41.000 Why?
00:26:41.000 Why not?
00:26:42.000 Okay.
00:26:43.000 It was nice.
00:26:44.000 Nice air.
00:26:45.000 Needed the exercise.
00:26:48.000 Yeah, Salt Lake City, it's weird when you associate a place with something. 0.97
00:26:55.000 Like, San Francisco used to be gay. 1.00
00:26:56.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:26:58.000 Gays can't afford it anymore. 1.00
00:26:59.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:27:00.000 It's not really gay anymore. 0.97
00:27:01.000 Yeah, they outpriced the gays. 1.00
00:27:05.000 Yeah, they did.
00:27:06.000 They did.
00:27:07.000 They did.
00:27:07.000 I mean, there's definitely some rich gay folk out there, but as far as having a community of specific people, it's more tech.
00:27:15.000 Tech millionaires and shit. 0.99
00:27:16.000 It's a lot of that. 1.00
00:27:17.000 A lot of...
00:27:19.000 There's a lot of, and there's a lot of old money there, too, you know, people that have just been there forever.
00:27:23.000 There's that, but as far as, like, the amount that things cost in San Francisco, it's the most obscene I've ever seen in terms of, like, real estate and what it costs to buy a house.
00:27:33.000 Yeah, because if you want to be in the city, right?
00:27:35.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:27:36.000 But that's pretty much any city.
00:27:37.000 If you want to be in it, it's going to cost you a lot more.
00:27:39.000 It'll cost you a lot more, but you can live in West Hollywood.
00:27:41.000 I mean, New York is insanity.
00:27:42.000 New York is insanity.
00:27:43.000 But you could live in West Hollywood, and it kind of makes sense.
00:27:46.000 You could rent in West Hollywood.
00:27:49.000 It's hard to own in West Hollywood.
00:27:50.000 Is it?
00:27:51.000 I feel like everything's been purchased by somebody, and they just rent everything out.
00:27:55.000 Huh.
00:27:56.000 At extremely high rent.
00:28:00.000 Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
00:28:01.000 But there's stuff for sale.
00:28:03.000 But it just doesn't...
00:28:05.000 California is so strange because of the earthquakes.
00:28:07.000 Everything's all spread out.
00:28:09.000 Nothing's stacked on top of each other.
00:28:10.000 You have downtown, but downtown's so rare.
00:28:14.000 Downtown's so new.
00:28:15.000 Yeah.
00:28:16.000 Well, it is now.
00:28:17.000 It's becoming new again.
00:28:19.000 Yeah.
00:28:20.000 And real estate downtown's very expensive now, too.
00:28:23.000 I remember when they started doing it about 10 years ago, it was cheap.
00:28:27.000 Now you're like, wow, it's almost like New York pricing.
00:28:30.000 Yeah, they're turning it into an actual real city.
00:28:33.000 Johnny Depp is selling some...
00:28:35.000 Were you telling me about that?
00:28:36.000 What's he selling?
00:28:37.000 Johnny Depp is selling some preposterous chunk of real estate there where he's got like five floors and some gigantic...
00:28:44.000 Well, you know, he's getting divorced. 1.00
00:28:46.000 Yeah, so he's got to start dumping shit. 1.00
00:28:47.000 The kid's getting fucked. 1.00
00:28:49.000 He's getting fucked! 1.00
00:28:51.000 Johnny? 0.99
00:28:51.000 Yeah, he's gonna have to give up a ton of cash. 0.99
00:28:53.000 That dummy didn't even get a prenuptial. 1.00
00:28:55.000 At least I got a prenup this time. 0.96
00:28:57.000 Good for you.
00:28:58.000 This time?
00:28:58.000 This time.
00:28:59.000 First time, no.
00:29:00.000 First time, no, but I was only married for 14 months, so it didn't matter. 1.00
00:29:03.000 They can't fuck you if you're only married for 14 months? 1.00
00:29:06.000 No. 1.00
00:29:07.000 Look at this.
00:29:07.000 Johnny Depp just listed his five Los Angeles penthouses for 12.78 million.
00:29:14.000 He's got five of them?
00:29:15.000 He just sold one of them.
00:29:16.000 Is it 12.7 each or in total?
00:29:18.000 Total for all five.
00:29:19.000 Oh, that's not too bad then.
00:29:21.000 No, it's not bad at all.
00:29:21.000 I thought they were all stacked.
00:29:23.000 I thought it was just...
00:29:24.000 They are.
00:29:24.000 It's like the top couple floors of one of those buildings.
00:29:27.000 It's all five units together.
00:29:28.000 It's all him.
00:29:29.000 What is he doing buying all this stuff?
00:29:31.000 They look pretty cool.
00:29:32.000 I think you guys buy all that stuff because the money starts flowing in. 0.99
00:29:35.000 He said, whoa, he's got some baller fucking houses. 1.00
00:29:38.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:29:40.000 Yeah, that's some cool shit. 1.00
00:29:41.000 Wow, that is amazing. 0.99
00:29:42.000 What a cool looking place.
00:29:43.000 Three of them are connected.
00:29:44.000 The other two, I guess, are separate.
00:29:46.000 Oh, I see.
00:29:47.000 So he's selling those two and the other three.
00:29:49.000 But the problem with apartment living is, man, you wind up paying all that money and then the neighbor right next door has a party.
00:29:56.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:29:56.000 And you listen to his bullshit. 1.00
00:29:58.000 That's probably why he bought all those so that way he was his own neighbor. 1.00
00:30:02.000 Yeah, that's a good move.
00:30:03.000 But you're still... 0.99
00:30:04.000 And also, then, if you're in downtown LA, one day, the fucking earth is going to shake. 1.00
00:30:11.000 And that building you're in is going to be useless. 0.99
00:30:15.000 You're not going to be able to fix that thing.
00:30:17.000 It's going to break.
00:30:18.000 There's going to be structural issues.
00:30:20.000 They're going to have to vacate the entire thing. 0.96
00:30:23.000 And you're going to get fucked out of all your hard-earned cash. 0.95
00:30:26.000 All that Jack Sparrow money. 0.99
00:30:27.000 Well, he's getting fucked out of it anyway. 0.98
00:30:30.000 His earth is shaking already. 0.99
00:30:33.000 But she's hooked up with Elon Musk.
00:30:35.000 Has she really?
00:30:36.000 Yeah, maybe she'll leave him alone.
00:30:38.000 Maybe she'll cut him some slack.
00:30:40.000 I did not know she was with Elon Musk now.
00:30:42.000 Yeah.
00:30:43.000 I thought Elon was smarter than that.
00:30:45.000 No.
00:30:46.000 You would think. 1.00
00:30:47.000 The guy's a fucking genius. 1.00
00:30:48.000 He's a thinker. 1.00
00:30:52.000 He's a forward thinker. 1.00
00:30:54.000 I think he likes pussy. 1.00
00:30:55.000 Yeah, we all like pussy. 1.00
00:30:57.000 Well, he was married to some actress before that, and apparently he didn't have a prenuptial with her. 1.00
00:31:01.000 Ugh.
00:31:04.000 Ugh, that's terrible.
00:31:06.000 Billionaire and the babe, Elon Musk, relentlessly pursued and was infatuated with Amber Heard, sending repeated emails requesting to meet the actress. 1.00
00:31:14.000 Okay. 1.00
00:31:14.000 I don't like the way that's phrased, because that's the work of some asshole. 1.00
00:31:18.000 Yeah, it sounds like he wanted to grab her pussy. 1.00
00:31:21.000 Who wrote that? 1.00
00:31:21.000 Is that a girl or a guy who wrote that? 1.00
00:31:27.000 Chris, so it could be either.
00:31:28.000 Yeah, right.
00:31:29.000 I like how you did that.
00:31:29.000 It was written by Pat.
00:31:31.000 Yeah.
00:31:31.000 Remember, it's Pat.
00:31:33.000 You couldn't do that today.
00:31:34.000 No.
00:31:34.000 If you did that today, they would call you transphobic.
00:31:36.000 Yeah.
00:31:37.000 There's every phobic now.
00:31:38.000 She's not gender binary.
00:31:41.000 Z's not gender binary.
00:31:43.000 From your part of town, University of Toronto, there's this embattled professor who's standing his ground.
00:31:52.000 Against political correctness in Toronto.
00:31:56.000 And the kids are going crazy.
00:31:58.000 They're trying to get him removed.
00:31:59.000 He just refuses to use the 28 different gender pronouns.
00:32:02.000 He refuses to let people choose what gender pronoun they want to be called.
00:32:08.000 He's like, no, I'm going to call men men.
00:32:09.000 I'm going to call women women. 0.99
00:32:11.000 Like, this is ridiculous. 0.99
00:32:12.000 And this is censorship. 0.97
00:32:14.000 Like, you're trying to change people's behavior.
00:32:15.000 Yeah.
00:32:16.000 Here's the problem, is that people now, with all this new liberty, they're just choosing to do things.
00:32:24.000 As opposed to actually being a certain way.
00:32:28.000 And I saw this story about this kid, Gavin something or another.
00:32:33.000 I think it was in North Carolina, if I'm not mistaken.
00:32:37.000 And was born a girl.
00:32:40.000 But when you see it, he's a 14 or 15 year old...
00:32:43.000 And he identifies as a male.
00:32:45.000 And when you see it, you're like, oh yeah, he's a boy.
00:32:47.000 There's no reason for me to not believe that this is the right way for this person to be.
00:32:53.000 But it should be case to case.
00:32:55.000 You know what I mean?
00:32:56.000 It shouldn't be.
00:32:57.000 You can't just blanket statement, oh, whatever you want to be, you can be. 1.00
00:33:00.000 No, fuck that. 1.00
00:33:01.000 It has to be genuine. 1.00
00:33:02.000 You can't just do it because that's the thing to do right now.
00:33:04.000 It does have to be genuine, but when you open it up like that, then it gives people who legitimately feel like they're in the wrong gender, it gives them the opportunity to express themselves in a different gender. 0.99
00:33:15.000 What's fucked up is that you're born a boy and you're a fucking boy, alright? 0.99
00:33:19.000 You're born a girl, you're a girl. 1.00
00:33:20.000 But if you're born a girl...
00:33:22.000 And you feel like you're a boy, you're never really going to be a boy.
00:33:25.000 So if I call you a boy and you take a bunch of hormones and everything, you're still not a boy.
00:33:30.000 What would be nice and what's probably eventually going to happen, there's going to be a way that they can change your sex, like literally change your sex. 0.98
00:33:37.000 There's going to be some way where they interfere with your DNA, they get in there and Russell Peters becomes Russellina Peters. 0.89
00:33:46.000 It's a little hacking on your system there.
00:33:49.000 If you were a girl, what would you change your name to?
00:33:51.000 Rose.
00:33:51.000 Ooh, I like it.
00:33:53.000 I still want to be RP. Beautiful.
00:33:54.000 You'd be beautiful.
00:33:55.000 You'd be like a flower.
00:33:57.000 I'd be a beautiful flower.
00:33:58.000 Russell, rose petals.
00:34:00.000 I would be Tulip.
00:34:02.000 I'd be Tulip Rogan.
00:34:04.000 I've always wanted to be a tulip.
00:34:06.000 I feel like they're an underappreciated flower.
00:34:08.000 They're very popular.
00:34:08.000 You don't want to be a rose because rose is like the king of the flowers.
00:34:11.000 It's a lot of pressure.
00:34:13.000 But then you don't want to be orchid because that's the more expensive.
00:34:15.000 Orchids more expensive than roses? 1.00
00:34:17.000 Fuck yeah, they're very expensive. 1.00
00:34:18.000 Really? 1.00
00:34:19.000 Yeah.
00:34:19.000 How do you know this?
00:34:20.000 Because my fiancee loves orchids. 0.90
00:34:22.000 Oh.
00:34:23.000 But the good thing with those is you buy one and they last for a long time.
00:34:27.000 You can keep those alive.
00:34:28.000 Really?
00:34:29.000 How's that?
00:34:30.000 The way they are.
00:34:31.000 You wrap them around a stick and they just keep growing.
00:34:35.000 Oh, okay.
00:34:36.000 So when you buy them, are they in dirt?
00:34:38.000 Yeah, you get them in dirt.
00:34:40.000 Okay, so roses, you buy them and they're in a bush, so they're cut.
00:34:42.000 Yeah, they die quick.
00:34:44.000 Yeah, it's like that life support system thing they do where they put it in water.
00:34:47.000 Like, hey, keep the roses in water to keep them fresh.
00:34:50.000 They're dead. 0.93
00:34:50.000 You killed them. 0.93
00:34:51.000 Should we pull the plug on these roses yet?
00:34:54.000 You know what I found out recently, we were talking about this the other day, that you can take the stem of one plant and plant it on another plant.
00:35:00.000 I was at this ranch and they had pistachio trees and the arms of the pistachio trees are grafted onto an avocado tree.
00:35:08.000 So that stem cell.
00:35:10.000 No, it's not.
00:35:12.000 You just tried to make a pun out of it.
00:35:13.000 I did, I did. 1.00
00:35:15.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00
00:35:16.000 That can't all be good, Joe. 1.00
00:35:17.000 You gotta spit them out so that way they get out there and you find out if they're good or not.
00:35:20.000 But you can't take a rose, like when someone gives you a rose that's been cut, you can't make that thing stay alive, can you?
00:35:26.000 Can you plant it in dirt?
00:35:27.000 No, no.
00:35:28.000 It needs roots, right?
00:35:29.000 It needs the roots.
00:35:30.000 It's not gonna grow roots, right?
00:35:31.000 No, it can't.
00:35:32.000 I don't think it can grow roots.
00:35:33.000 It's over.
00:35:34.000 I think the top of the bud can flourish still.
00:35:40.000 The flower?
00:35:41.000 Yeah, the flower itself.
00:35:43.000 It can do what?
00:35:43.000 It can still flourish for a little while.
00:35:45.000 But the body is dead, basically.
00:35:47.000 The stem's dead?
00:35:48.000 Yeah, the stem's dead.
00:35:49.000 But you can't take the flower and somehow...
00:35:52.000 But it dies in increments.
00:35:53.000 It's dead from the cut point, I would imagine.
00:35:56.000 Oh, is that what it is?
00:35:57.000 I don't know.
00:35:58.000 I'm assuming it would be dead from the cut point, and then it just slowly dies its way up.
00:36:02.000 Hmm.
00:36:03.000 That makes sense, right?
00:36:05.000 Oh, you can't? 1.00
00:36:05.000 So, I'm an idiot. 1.00
00:36:07.000 No. 1.00
00:36:08.000 You can regrow a rose once you cut it off the stem?
00:36:11.000 For real.
00:36:11.000 I'm just not a horticulturalist.
00:36:14.000 Well, it's interesting to watch people who know flowers.
00:36:17.000 They know what to trim and what not to trim.
00:36:19.000 They're constantly, like, cutting pieces off of it.
00:36:22.000 That's why they do what they do, and we just pay them to do that.
00:36:26.000 Yeah.
00:36:27.000 Okay, I have nothing.
00:36:28.000 I got nothing for that.
00:36:30.000 What's that?
00:36:30.000 You can use it, doing it using potatoes.
00:36:33.000 Oh, I've seen that before. 1.00
00:36:34.000 Oh, shit. 0.99
00:36:36.000 So you take the stem, you stick it in a potato, and what does a potato do? 1.00
00:36:41.000 It probably helps give it a root base, I would imagine.
00:36:45.000 I'm making a guess on that.
00:36:45.000 Can people hear you right now on that?
00:36:47.000 Yeah.
00:36:47.000 You guys can't hear me because you don't have headphones on.
00:36:50.000 But they won't do that in LA because people tend to avoid potatoes and carbs. 0.79
00:36:54.000 They do now.
00:36:55.000 It's the newest thing.
00:36:56.000 Have you been on that yet?
00:36:58.000 What?
00:36:58.000 Avoiding carbs?
00:37:00.000 No.
00:37:00.000 Clearly, look at me.
00:37:01.000 I look like I've avoided a carb. 1.00
00:37:02.000 You don't give a fuck, do you? 1.00
00:37:03.000 I do. 1.00
00:37:03.000 I just fucking like food. 1.00
00:37:05.000 I do, too. 0.98
00:37:06.000 I give myself cheat days.
00:37:08.000 Yeah.
00:37:09.000 When I was for the special, I had hired Alex Ariza to train me.
00:37:14.000 Alex Ariza, the guy who trained Pacquiao?
00:37:16.000 Really?
00:37:17.000 Did he get you on steroids?
00:37:19.000 No, no, no, he didn't.
00:37:20.000 Isn't he famous for that?
00:37:21.000 That's what everybody thinks he does, but I didn't see it. 0.99
00:37:24.000 He just works you fucking incredibly hard. 0.99
00:37:27.000 Yeah? 0.99
00:37:28.000 Yeah, and I was like, Alex, you know I don't have a fight coming up, right?
00:37:31.000 Like, literally.
00:37:32.000 I'm not exaggerating when I tell you this.
00:37:33.000 I would spar 12 rounds boxing, and then...
00:37:38.000 12?
00:37:38.000 12 with 30-second breaks.
00:37:40.000 What?
00:37:41.000 Yeah.
00:37:41.000 And then after that, an hour and a half of core.
00:37:44.000 Come on.
00:37:45.000 Oh my God, I'm dying.
00:37:47.000 And I would literally get home and just be in bed for the rest of the day.
00:37:50.000 That was it.
00:37:50.000 So all that core stuff that Pacquiao does, do you think he got all that from him?
00:37:54.000 I would imagine so.
00:37:56.000 Because I was always wondering.
00:37:57.000 I've never seen a fighter work more on their core than Pacquiao.
00:38:02.000 He was telling me, though, that Pacquiao was addicted to that, though.
00:38:06.000 Really? 0.99
00:38:06.000 He would have to tell Pacquiao, don't do fucking sit-ups today. 0.99
00:38:09.000 Why? 0.99
00:38:10.000 Because, you know, take a day off, let your muscles rest.
00:38:13.000 And he was like, no, you would just catch them, just doing them all the time.
00:38:15.000 And he would do like a thousand sit-ups. 1.00
00:38:17.000 Something stupid. 0.99
00:38:19.000 He said I couldn't get him to stop doing sit-ups. 1.00
00:38:22.000 He couldn't stop.
00:38:23.000 He was addicted to doing sit-ups.
00:38:25.000 That's so bizarre.
00:38:25.000 That's the one thing that most people hate.
00:38:27.000 Yeah.
00:38:29.000 I hated these weird planking things he made me do.
00:38:32.000 I hated them.
00:38:33.000 Oh, like on your elbows?
00:38:34.000 Not even on my elbows.
00:38:35.000 On the medicine ball, the half ball.
00:38:38.000 He'd turn it upside down and I would be on that and then my feet would be on a medicine ball.
00:38:43.000 So I'd be at that angle struggling the whole time.
00:38:47.000 And he'd just make you stand there?
00:38:48.000 Yeah.
00:38:48.000 10 seconds, 15 seconds.
00:38:50.000 It's a long time.
00:38:53.000 Now, how'd you get in touch with that guy?
00:38:56.000 You know, Ellie Secback?
00:38:58.000 No.
00:38:59.000 He does ES News.
00:39:00.000 He's a boxing kid.
00:39:01.000 Oh, I know the name.
00:39:02.000 Yeah.
00:39:03.000 He put me in touch with him.
00:39:06.000 That's a weird guy to get as a trainer, though, isn't it?
00:39:08.000 The problem was I wanted to get skinny.
00:39:10.000 I wanted to lose weight.
00:39:11.000 I wanted to get small.
00:39:13.000 Alex is one of those guys who's like, no, I want to make sure you're fit and you're in shape.
00:39:18.000 I'm like, dude, I looked the same, but I was more fit.
00:39:23.000 But you hadn't lost any weight?
00:39:25.000 No, I lost fat percentage.
00:39:28.000 And gain muscle mass.
00:39:29.000 But that's not what I wanted.
00:39:31.000 What did you want? 0.99
00:39:32.000 I don't have a fucking fight coming up. 0.99
00:39:33.000 I just wanted to get skinny. 0.99
00:39:34.000 You just want to slim down.
00:39:36.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:39:36.000 Give me AIDS if I have to. 0.99
00:39:37.000 Did you really say that? 0.99
00:39:38.000 How dare you.
00:39:41.000 Right now, Eazy-E is spinning in his grave.
00:39:43.000 Well, you know.
00:39:44.000 Do you think he really had AIDS? It would appear so.
00:39:48.000 I don't think anybody would want to fake that one.
00:39:50.000 I mean, usually now when somebody dies of AIDS and they don't want to say it, they just say he had pneumonia.
00:39:55.000 Well, how few heterosexual people got AIDS? That's what's interesting, you know? 0.99
00:39:58.000 That's true.
00:39:59.000 It is a difficult way to get it.
00:40:01.000 Yeah, like if Wilt Chamberlain didn't get AIDS, how does anybody have AIDS? Yeah.
00:40:05.000 Right?
00:40:05.000 And Magic Johnson.
00:40:06.000 Well, he did.
00:40:08.000 He got the hiv.
00:40:09.000 But apparently he reads clear now.
00:40:13.000 That's what the word on the street is, that his tests are...
00:40:16.000 Yeah, I don't understand that.
00:40:18.000 Apparently, you can get HIV to such a level that your body doesn't detect it.
00:40:23.000 Yeah.
00:40:24.000 It's all very confusing.
00:40:26.000 Diseases are very confusing.
00:40:27.000 Commenting on any of that stuff.
00:40:29.000 Like, where's the AIDS? Where'd it go?
00:40:32.000 Come on.
00:40:32.000 Everybody thought by the time this 2016 rolled around, we'd all be dead.
00:40:36.000 We'd all have AIDS, we'd all be dead.
00:40:37.000 Right?
00:40:38.000 And then Chris Rock did the joke 20 years ago, remember?
00:40:40.000 What was that joke?
00:40:41.000 My AIDS is acting up.
00:40:42.000 He said AIDS is just going to get to a point where it's just manageable.
00:40:45.000 With medication.
00:40:46.000 Oh, that's right.
00:40:47.000 And it's basically where we're at right now.
00:40:48.000 Well, it's even crazier than manageable.
00:40:50.000 It's non-existent.
00:40:51.000 Do you remember when Sam Kinison had that bit about it?
00:40:53.000 Sam Kinison had like the most controversial bit.
00:40:57.000 He's like, Sam, they say, it's a communicable disease. 0.80
00:41:02.000 Heterosexuals can die from it too. 1.00
00:41:03.000 He goes, name one! 1.00
00:41:05.000 Name one fucking guy! 1.00
00:41:06.000 Name one! 1.00
00:41:07.000 Because it's not our dance!
00:41:10.000 Remember he had that thing about Rock Hudson?
00:41:12.000 Oh, I remember that. 1.00
00:41:13.000 You know, Rock Hudson had to be on his deathbed going, it was that last fucking dick. 1.00
00:41:17.000 It was that last dick. 1.00
00:41:18.000 Why did I suck it? 1.00
00:41:18.000 Why did I suck it? 1.00
00:41:21.000 Millions of dicks. 1.00
00:41:23.000 Nothing ever went wrong. 1.00
00:41:24.000 Dick, dick, dick. 1.00
00:41:25.000 Suck, suck, suck. 1.00
00:41:26.000 It was that last dick. 1.00
00:41:27.000 Oh, oh! 1.00
00:41:30.000 That guy, man.
00:41:31.000 That's a guy that you can't imitate.
00:41:34.000 That's a real revolution in comedy.
00:41:38.000 There's only been a few real revolutions.
00:41:41.000 There's that distinct voice that people get, right?
00:41:45.000 There's the mellow guys, there's the...
00:41:48.000 And if anybody does try to go that route, it's always trying to do Sam.
00:41:52.000 And now there's the people that want to be Mitch, and then there's the people that want to be Bill or Louie.
00:41:58.000 The Bill one was awesome, because there were so many people that were trying to be like Hicks.
00:42:02.000 There were so many Hicks clones, especially after he died, and everybody's like, I'm going to pick up the mantle.
00:42:10.000 I'm going to be that tortured road warrior who writes poems.
00:42:14.000 Yeah, see, to me, Hicks always read to me as a...
00:42:17.000 Angry dorky guy. 0.98
00:42:18.000 Angry nerd. 0.99
00:42:18.000 That's how I always saw him. 0.99
00:42:19.000 Right.
00:42:20.000 Yeah.
00:42:20.000 I never looked at him and go, that guy's so cool.
00:42:22.000 Sam, I looked at him and go, that guy's kind of cool.
00:42:23.000 He's very rock and roll, you know?
00:42:25.000 Well, what's hilarious is Ari Shafir challenges people.
00:42:28.000 He goes, he wasn't funny.
00:42:30.000 He goes, show me one joke where Hicks was funny.
00:42:32.000 And people get crazy.
00:42:34.000 They get so mad.
00:42:35.000 They attack him.
00:42:36.000 They go after him.
00:42:39.000 He's like, yeah, good point.
00:42:40.000 He made a good point, but not funny.
00:42:42.000 Next.
00:42:43.000 Yeah.
00:42:45.000 I'm with Ari on this.
00:42:46.000 I was never a Hicks fan, but...
00:42:48.000 I'm a Hicks fan.
00:42:49.000 I'm a Hicks fan.
00:42:50.000 Always will be.
00:42:51.000 I'm a fan of what he did, like the style.
00:42:53.000 It was very fascinating to me to watch, but he definitely wasn't the most hilarious guy.
00:42:58.000 It wasn't like Joey Diaz.
00:42:59.000 Like, you watch him and you can't stop laughing.
00:43:01.000 You're just crying.
00:43:02.000 I think Kindler is a better version of Hicks.
00:43:05.000 Kindler?
00:43:05.000 How so?
00:43:07.000 I mean, Kindler's got that fucking sharpness to him. 0.99
00:43:09.000 But he's a lot of shticky stuff. 0.99
00:43:11.000 He does some shticky stuff, but you almost know he's doing it on purpose. 0.94
00:43:14.000 Oh, he definitely is.
00:43:16.000 But again, he's also one of those guys that only comics know about or love.
00:43:21.000 Yeah, that's weird.
00:43:23.000 I always felt like Kindler would catch on.
00:43:27.000 He was on somebody's sitcom for a minute.
00:43:31.000 Yeah.
00:43:31.000 Was he?
00:43:32.000 Yeah.
00:43:33.000 What sitcom did Kindler end up on?
00:43:34.000 You thinking about Patton?
00:43:35.000 No.
00:43:36.000 Because Patton was on a sitcom.
00:43:37.000 Patton was on Kevin James sitcom.
00:43:40.000 Yeah, I think Andy Kindler dropped in on that every now and then too.
00:43:43.000 Did he?
00:43:44.000 Or was it Drew Carey's?
00:43:45.000 One of them.
00:43:46.000 Do you got that info?
00:43:47.000 Bob's Burgers.
00:43:48.000 What's Bob's Burgers?
00:43:49.000 Cartoon.
00:43:50.000 I did a voice on Bob's Burgers once.
00:43:51.000 He's on Marin.
00:43:52.000 He's on Marin?
00:43:53.000 Yeah.
00:43:54.000 He's on Marin as a guest every now and then?
00:43:56.000 For three seasons.
00:43:57.000 Oh.
00:43:58.000 Was he on anything else?
00:43:59.000 Hmm.
00:44:04.000 Comedy Bang Bang.
00:44:04.000 What is that?
00:44:05.000 That's Reggie Watts' thing, wasn't it?
00:44:08.000 Yeah.
00:44:09.000 Scott Ockerman, I think.
00:44:12.000 Reggie Watts is on that new show where he's the band guy.
00:44:16.000 Was it James Corden?
00:44:17.000 Yeah.
00:44:17.000 Yeah.
00:44:18.000 Have you watched that show?
00:44:19.000 I haven't, no.
00:44:21.000 Good for you.
00:44:22.000 Stay away from that TV. Go read a book.
00:44:25.000 He's on Everybody Loves Raymond.
00:44:26.000 That's what it was.
00:44:27.000 Oh, he was?
00:44:28.000 Oh, okay.
00:44:30.000 Everybody loves Raymond.
00:44:31.000 Is the sitcom dead?
00:44:33.000 The sitcom is dead as we know it, I think.
00:44:36.000 Yeah.
00:44:37.000 Seems like it.
00:44:38.000 Well, the traditional sitcom is dead.
00:44:43.000 Do you sit around thinking about things that you can do?
00:44:45.000 I do all the time.
00:44:46.000 Yeah?
00:44:47.000 I think about it all the time.
00:44:48.000 Ruben Paul and I have an idea for a show.
00:44:51.000 But we don't know which way to go.
00:44:52.000 Why don't you say it on the air so someone can steal it?
00:44:54.000 Yeah, I know.
00:44:55.000 That's why I'm not saying it.
00:44:56.000 Well, it's my life, so you can't steal my life.
00:44:58.000 You could try.
00:44:59.000 I know.
00:45:00.000 Aziz Ansari start gaining weight. 1.00
00:45:03.000 You son of a bitch, how dare you? 1.00
00:45:05.000 I'm out of here! 1.00
00:45:10.000 I went there, motherfucker. 1.00
00:45:11.000 I don't give a shit. 1.00
00:45:12.000 I'm smoking a joint, even though you don't smoke pot. 1.00
00:45:14.000 How come you don't smoke pot?
00:45:15.000 What's that about?
00:45:17.000 I didn't like the way I felt on it.
00:45:18.000 I didn't like feeling slow.
00:45:22.000 Makes you feel slow?
00:45:23.000 Yeah.
00:45:24.000 How so? 0.96
00:45:25.000 Like just dopey.
00:45:26.000 I felt like, like too mellow, which I didn't want to feel. 0.99
00:45:30.000 Are you sure you're smoking the right shit? 0.98
00:45:32.000 I mean, you know, this was the 90s when I tried it. 1.00
00:45:36.000 The 90s?
00:45:38.000 The 90s, they hadn't figured out Sativa yet.
00:45:40.000 No.
00:45:41.000 Maybe they did.
00:45:42.000 There's no way to have it.
00:45:43.000 They did.
00:45:43.000 They did figure it out.
00:45:44.000 No. 1.00
00:45:44.000 You don't know shit. 1.00
00:45:45.000 Back then, it was either... 1.00
00:45:47.000 You either had Sess or...
00:45:50.000 Oh, yeah.
00:45:51.000 That's right. 1.00
00:45:51.000 Or fucking... 1.00
00:45:53.000 OG Kush. 1.00
00:45:54.000 Chronic. 0.93
00:45:55.000 Not even.
00:45:55.000 I was in Toronto, so it was either Jamaican stuff or the Hydro stuff.
00:46:00.000 What about edibles? 0.83
00:46:02.000 That's what fucked me up. 0.96
00:46:03.000 Oh, you went too deep. 0.93
00:46:04.000 I did an edible 11 or 12 years ago.
00:46:07.000 Yeah?
00:46:07.000 One of those little two-bite brownies.
00:46:10.000 But I did not know you're supposed to only have one bite. 0.98
00:46:13.000 Oh, that's fucked up more people. 0.91
00:46:16.000 Like, eating too much edibles has fucked up more people with pot than probably anything ever. 0.94
00:46:21.000 Yeah, I ate the whole brownie.
00:46:23.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:46:24.000 And wanted to fucking die. 0.99
00:46:26.000 I'm sure you've seen the 9-11 video that was on YouTube of the cops that called 9-11 because there was a guy they pulled over. 1.00
00:46:36.000 He had some pot.
00:46:37.000 They stole the pot from him and made brownies with it and ate the brownies and thought the brownies were poisoned and thought they were dying.
00:46:43.000 Thought they were dead.
00:46:45.000 Time's moving really slow.
00:46:46.000 You ever seen that?
00:46:47.000 No.
00:46:48.000 Fire that up, Jamie.
00:46:50.000 Find that, please.
00:46:52.000 It's hilarious. 0.98
00:46:53.000 It's fucking hilarious. 0.97
00:46:54.000 Because it's what happens. 0.98
00:46:56.000 Marijuana, I've said this before, so please forgive me if you've heard this and you're listening.
00:47:01.000 Marijuana, when you eat it, it's processed by your liver.
00:47:04.000 And it produces something called 11-hydroxy metabolite.
00:47:08.000 That's five times more psychoactive than THC. So there's THC, which you get when you smoke it.
00:47:14.000 And then when you eat it, it's a totally different drug.
00:47:16.000 And so when people go, oh my god, this is not pot, something's in this.
00:47:20.000 No, that's pot when you eat it.
00:47:21.000 Pot when you eat it is like a totally different dimension.
00:47:24.000 You open a different door, you go down a different hallway, you're in a different building.
00:47:29.000 You're like, this is not pot.
00:47:31.000 No, it's pot.
00:47:32.000 That's pot when you eat it. 0.96
00:47:33.000 I was stuck to the bed, literally laying in a spread eagle.
00:47:39.000 Oh, the 911 call for the cops?
00:47:42.000 The cops called 911 for the...
00:47:43.000 It's a classic.
00:47:45.000 And I was clinging.
00:47:45.000 I was literally...
00:47:46.000 My nails were...
00:47:46.000 Yeah.
00:47:47.000 I thought I was going to...
00:47:48.000 Like, the bed was going to fly.
00:47:49.000 Yeah, I've been there, dude.
00:47:51.000 And I was...
00:47:52.000 All I could do was mumble.
00:47:53.000 I couldn't even muster words out of my mouth.
00:47:56.000 My tongue was dead.
00:47:58.000 It was...
00:47:58.000 It's my favorite way to be.
00:47:59.000 Oh, it scared the shit out of me.
00:48:01.000 What I like about being there is that you always come back. 0.59
00:48:04.000 Like, you really think you're going to die, but you always come back.
00:48:07.000 And you're always fine.
00:48:08.000 And you come back.
00:48:09.000 Here, listen to this.
00:48:16.000 Pot brownie overdose.
00:48:17.000 I think I'm having an overdose of my wife.
00:48:20.000 Okay, you and your wife?
00:48:21.000 Yes.
00:48:22.000 Overdose of what?
00:48:24.000 Marijuana.
00:48:24.000 I don't know if it had something in it.
00:48:27.000 Okay.
00:48:28.000 Can you please send rescue?
00:48:29.000 Okay, how old are you?
00:48:30.000 I'm 28, 29 years old and my wife is 26. Please come.
00:48:36.000 26?
00:48:37.000 Yes, please.
00:48:38.000 Have you guys been drinking also?
00:48:39.000 What?
00:48:40.000 Have you guys been drinking today too?
00:48:42.000 No, that's it.
00:48:44.000 Is there any weapons in the house?
00:48:46.000 No, please come.
00:48:47.000 Okay, we're on our way.
00:48:49.000 Are you guys like, do you guys have fever or anything?
00:48:52.000 No, I'm just...
00:48:53.000 I think we're dying.
00:48:55.000 How much did you guys have?
00:48:57.000 I don't know.
00:48:58.000 We made brownies, and I think we're dead.
00:49:00.000 I really do.
00:49:01.000 Okay, how much did you put in the brownies?
00:49:04.000 I don't know.
00:49:05.000 Was it a bag?
00:49:06.000 Who made the brownies? 0.87
00:49:08.000 My wife and I did.
00:49:11.000 Cuba, come here. 0.97
00:49:12.000 Okay, get her. 1.00
00:49:13.000 She's on the living room ground right now. 1.00
00:49:16.000 Is she breathing?
00:49:17.000 Barely breathing.
00:49:19.000 Is she awake?
00:49:19.000 I think so.
00:49:22.000 Okay, can you look?
00:49:24.000 Pardon?
00:49:24.000 Can you look?
00:49:25.000 Can you look to see she's alive?
00:49:27.000 She's laying right down in front of me.
00:49:28.000 Time is going by really, really, really, really slow.
00:49:31.000 Okay, well, I'm on the phone with you.
00:49:33.000 Do you know how much of it you bought and put in the brownies?
00:49:37.000 Pardon?
00:49:37.000 How much did you buy?
00:49:39.000 I don't.
00:49:40.000 Just please send rescue.
00:49:41.000 They're on the way, but I'm trying to figure out how much you bought and put into the brownies, sir.
00:49:45.000 Probably like a quarter ounce total.
00:49:47.000 A quarter ounce total into the brownies?
00:49:49.000 Did you guys eat all the brownies?
00:49:51.000 Yeah, we did.
00:49:55.000 Okay.
00:49:57.000 Was it a big batch, a little batch?
00:50:00.000 It was a quarter ounce.
00:50:02.000 Okay, but brownie-wise, how many pieces do you guys think you guys had?
00:50:06.000 I don't know.
00:50:07.000 I probably had like a small chunk.
00:50:09.000 Please come.
00:50:10.000 What time is it?
00:50:12.000 It's 9.37.
00:50:13.000 When did you guys last eat the brownies?
00:50:16.000 Probably like an hour and a half ago.
00:50:25.000 She's moving.
00:50:26.000 Okay.
00:50:39.000 We get it.
00:50:40.000 It goes on for a while.
00:50:40.000 But what's hilarious is the lady who answered the phone, she didn't even bother.
00:50:47.000 She didn't rush.
00:50:48.000 She knew they were fine because she was sober.
00:50:51.000 That's my favorite thing.
00:50:52.000 She just keeps asking questions. 0.88
00:50:54.000 If that was a gunshot wound, would she be asking so many questions?
00:50:57.000 Where are you? 0.97
00:50:57.000 Yeah, if somebody blacked out, they think they had a heart attack, she wouldn't be asking so many questions with these pot dummies. 0.97
00:51:04.000 One of my friends had one a couple years ago when he came out here to see us.
00:51:08.000 He had a cookie. 0.99
00:51:09.000 And when it hit him, he turned fucking so pasty white. 0.99
00:51:15.000 And he thought he was dying. 1.00
00:51:18.000 Same, same, exact same reaction.
00:51:20.000 I even called my doctor for him because, you know, I'm like, anything I could do?
00:51:23.000 He goes, no, just tell him to relax.
00:51:25.000 He's got to wear off.
00:51:27.000 That's all.
00:51:28.000 Drink some water.
00:51:29.000 You really feel like you're done, though.
00:51:31.000 You really do. 0.99
00:51:32.000 You really feel like, man, I really fucked up. 0.99
00:51:35.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:51:35.000 It's over. 0.99
00:51:36.000 Yeah, he was done.
00:51:38.000 What'd you get back?
00:51:39.000 So what should I try?
00:51:42.000 Shouldn't try anything if you don't want to.
00:51:44.000 I mean, you're a happy guy.
00:51:45.000 I'm a happy guy.
00:51:46.000 I would not look at you and say Russell Peters needs anything in his life other than what he's doing.
00:51:51.000 I enjoy me some tequila.
00:51:52.000 I do too.
00:51:53.000 Yeah.
00:51:54.000 It's just the health consequences of that stuff are just so different than what happens with pot.
00:51:59.000 What happens with pot is, drumroll...
00:52:03.000 Nothing.
00:52:03.000 Nothing.
00:52:04.000 You get high as fuck the next day, you go to the gym, you feel great. 0.99
00:52:07.000 Like, there's no health consequences. 1.00
00:52:10.000 If I get drunk and I've been drunk, I feel like shit the next day, man. 1.00
00:52:14.000 I just feel like shit. 0.99
00:52:15.000 But what are you drinking? 0.99
00:52:16.000 Anything. 0.99
00:52:17.000 If I drink too much wine, I feel like shit the next day. 1.00
00:52:20.000 If I drink too much whiskey, I feel like shit the next day. 1.00
00:52:23.000 If I drink too much beer, I feel like shit the next day. 1.00
00:52:25.000 I work out, I can feel it, I feel like weakened. 0.99
00:52:29.000 Tequila, I feel fine the next day. 1.00
00:52:31.000 You're a maniac. 0.99
00:52:32.000 But that's all, just drink it straight. 1.00
00:52:35.000 Whoa.
00:52:35.000 That's a terrible advice.
00:52:37.000 He's giving this terrible advice to people. 0.99
00:52:39.000 But the thing is, you don't have to have, like, fucking, you know, a ten of them. 0.98
00:52:42.000 You just have, you know, I have maybe two glasses. 0.99
00:52:46.000 I sip them all night.
00:52:47.000 Brian Regan takes a shot before every show.
00:52:50.000 He does one shot before every show. 0.89
00:52:51.000 That seems like a damn good idea. 0.93
00:52:53.000 It's not a bad idea. 0.95
00:52:54.000 Because your body really doesn't have a hard time processing one shot of whiskey.
00:52:57.000 Like one shot of whiskey is like no big deal. 0.99
00:53:00.000 It's when you go like three, four, you have a beer, you have a fucking margarita. 0.99
00:53:07.000 I don't mess around like that. 0.99
00:53:09.000 It's just straight tequila.
00:53:11.000 I'm a huge Hunter S. Thompson fan and one of the saddest things to me is watching Thompson from the time he was a really young man when he first started making it as a journalist and a writer to the way was as he got older and I think a big big part of it was the alcohol like he just drank so much booze that at the end he was almost incoherent he would go on Letterman and Conan O'Brien and you barely understood what he was saying And you just saw it. 0.98
00:53:40.000 It's like, that stuff will fucking get you. 0.62
00:53:44.000 You know who always sounded drunk was Hitchens. 0.99
00:53:46.000 Yes.
00:53:47.000 Well, he was drunk a lot.
00:53:48.000 He did always sound drunk.
00:53:49.000 He was drunk a lot and he smoked cigarettes as well, which is just so unfortunate for such a brilliant guy.
00:53:54.000 Yeah.
00:53:55.000 You know?
00:53:55.000 He did smoke cigarettes, right?
00:53:57.000 He sounded like he did.
00:53:58.000 Doug Stano, what does it say?
00:53:59.000 Did you ever see his booze suit he had when he got on the cruise?
00:54:02.000 No.
00:54:03.000 He snuck on all this alcohol.
00:54:04.000 How to smuggle booze on the cruise ship.
00:54:07.000 He's wearing...
00:54:08.000 I don't know, liters of whiskey and vodka and mixers.
00:54:12.000 In those things?
00:54:14.000 Yeah, he had it all like in bladders and tucked into small plastic bags.
00:54:17.000 Stan Hope's so skinny now.
00:54:18.000 See, you can't take this stuff on a cruise ship, I guess.
00:54:20.000 I've never been on one.
00:54:21.000 That is hilarious.
00:54:23.000 Actually, you can.
00:54:23.000 That's true.
00:54:24.000 Because they want you to buy their booze?
00:54:25.000 Is that what it is? 1.00
00:54:26.000 Yeah, but they always have shit booze on board. 1.00
00:54:28.000 They do? 0.99
00:54:29.000 So look at this.
00:54:30.000 He's got a suit on.
00:54:33.000 Oh my god, with bags of whiskey. 0.99
00:54:36.000 This is so ridiculous. 0.97
00:54:39.000 It's like someone in a movie when they're making jokes about like, give me all your guns, and they have them tucked everywhere. 0.99
00:54:43.000 Oh my god, this is so ridiculous. 0.92
00:54:45.000 But he's ruining it for everyone now. 1.00
00:54:47.000 Oh, he's got it in his dick. 1.00
00:54:49.000 He's got a tequila tucked into his jockstrap. 1.00
00:54:52.000 Are you playing this?
00:54:53.000 Yeah, I have a little bit of it.
00:54:57.000 Oh my god, this is insane.
00:54:59.000 Hilarious.
00:55:00.000 He had it in his socks.
00:55:01.000 A flask.
00:55:04.000 Oh my god.
00:55:07.000 It's enough for a party of like 25 people probably.
00:55:11.000 Not for 25 Stanhopes though. 0.99
00:55:13.000 That's the difference.
00:55:15.000 I love him.
00:55:16.000 We are ready for our Norwegian Cruise Line's Impractical Jokers Cruise.
00:55:20.000 Hilarious.
00:55:27.000 I should announce this.
00:55:32.000 We're doing an end-of-the-world election night comedy podcast from the Comedy Store.
00:55:39.000 And it's gonna be Stan Hope and myself and Fitzsimmons is gonna do it.
00:55:44.000 We're probably gonna have some other people too.
00:55:46.000 And maybe Russell Peters.
00:55:47.000 I'll drop it. 1.00
00:55:48.000 Fuck yeah, bitch! 1.00
00:55:49.000 What's the date? 1.00
00:55:50.000 Whatever the election day is.
00:55:52.000 Is that the third?
00:55:54.000 It might be the 7th.
00:55:55.000 7th?
00:55:56.000 I think the election's on the 8th, so this will be the day before.
00:55:58.000 Oh, God.
00:56:01.000 This election's weird, man.
00:56:03.000 It's a good time to be American, guys.
00:56:06.000 This is a weird one.
00:56:07.000 This is a weird one, because so many people just want to see it play out.
00:56:13.000 Somebody tweeted, I forgot who it was, but it was hilarious.
00:56:15.000 They said, I can't wait to see the series finale of America.
00:56:22.000 Wow.
00:56:22.000 It really almost feels like it.
00:56:26.000 You're going to vote, right?
00:56:27.000 Yeah, I guess.
00:56:29.000 I'm going to vote for Gary Johnson, I think.
00:56:31.000 Even though he doesn't know what Aleppo is.
00:56:33.000 You know, here's the thing.
00:56:36.000 When I heard them ask him that question, it sounded like they wanted to know what he thought about something called Lepo.
00:56:44.000 Oh.
00:56:45.000 What do you think about a Lepo?
00:56:46.000 I think he said, what are you going to do about a Lepo?
00:56:48.000 What are you going to do about a Lepo?
00:56:49.000 And he was like, I'm sorry?
00:56:51.000 I think the question just confused him.
00:56:53.000 Well, it's...
00:56:55.000 It's a really important thing to know if you want to be...
00:56:59.000 I mean, what has he been doing?
00:57:01.000 He's running for president now.
00:57:02.000 That takes up all of his time.
00:57:03.000 But how much was he doing when he was the governor of New Mexico as far as paying attention to world issues?
00:57:10.000 I don't know how much you have to.
00:57:12.000 You're no more than a regular person, right?
00:57:14.000 It's always weird that we get these people running for president that are from states where you're like, do they think about the rest of the world there?
00:57:23.000 Right.
00:57:23.000 You know, Arkansas and New Mexico.
00:57:26.000 Yeah.
00:57:27.000 Well, I think more people do now than ever before.
00:57:30.000 More people definitely think about the rest of the world now than they did, say, 20 or 30 years ago.
00:57:37.000 Just because we're in contact with people more, you know?
00:57:40.000 The Internet's giving people more ideas, more things to look up, more things to think about.
00:57:46.000 But, man.
00:57:50.000 Not knowing Aleppo.
00:57:51.000 You gotta know Aleppo.
00:57:52.000 You know what's funny is?
00:57:53.000 I didn't know it.
00:57:54.000 I didn't know it at the time.
00:57:55.000 I didn't know it.
00:57:56.000 I knew that there was tremendous issues in Syria, but I didn't know what the name of the city was.
00:58:00.000 It sounded like a nickname for something.
00:58:03.000 Aleppo.
00:58:04.000 And then, you know, being Indian, I was like, oh, I must be asking about Aleper.
00:58:08.000 There was the other one, though, where he didn't know any world leaders.
00:58:12.000 Yeah, that's a problem.
00:58:13.000 That's a big problem.
00:58:14.000 That's a bigger problem than not knowing Aleppo.
00:58:16.000 Yeah, you gotta be careful there, dude.
00:58:18.000 Yeah.
00:58:20.000 You gotta have some people that you admire.
00:58:22.000 Yeah.
00:58:22.000 Look up to somebody in your business.
00:58:25.000 Yeah.
00:58:26.000 I think he said Angela Merkel, right?
00:58:28.000 Is that what he said?
00:58:29.000 I think his vice president threw that out for him.
00:58:33.000 Yeah.
00:58:34.000 Who's his running mate? 0.99
00:58:37.000 Some other dude.
00:58:39.000 Bill Weld, former governor of Massachusetts Weld.
00:58:43.000 Oh, Bill Weld.
00:58:43.000 Oh, that's his vice president?
00:58:45.000 I should know that.
00:58:46.000 I've almost, like, given up.
00:58:48.000 It's like I'm a Cubs fan.
00:58:49.000 It's like they're not gonna win, they're not gonna win, they're not gonna...
00:58:52.000 You know what I mean?
00:58:53.000 They might win this year.
00:58:54.000 They might, I heard.
00:58:55.000 Bob Newhart's all excited.
00:58:56.000 He's 87. He said he's too old for this shit. 1.00
00:58:59.000 I love Bob. 1.00
00:59:00.000 But those Cubs fans, man, they hang in there no matter what.
00:59:03.000 I gotta support Toronto.
00:59:05.000 You know, it's my city.
00:59:05.000 I understand.
00:59:06.000 Even though I don't know a damn thing about baseball.
00:59:08.000 But doesn't this seem like a... 0.99
00:59:10.000 It seems like a ridiculous sporting event? 0.77
00:59:11.000 I mean, it really almost does. 0.86
00:59:13.000 It's almost like, who can I demean and insult more to diminish them more contest?
00:59:19.000 Like, have you really thought like that about...
00:59:24.000 Like...
00:59:26.000 Part of it is like they go for the worst aspects of each other and they try to like do it on live TV. It's an ugly precedent to set for the country, you know?
00:59:35.000 Especially, you know, when they try to justify it, I think, by looking at the rest of the world when they have elections and how it gets really violent in all these other parts of the world.
00:59:44.000 And, you know, you remember when some leaders, I don't forget what countries it is, but somewhere in Europe, the leaders get into fights with each other in their...
00:59:53.000 In their government offices. 0.98
00:59:54.000 Oh, yeah, they have fucking crazy gang fights. 0.99
00:59:57.000 Yeah, there's one in some parliament or something like that. 0.99
00:59:59.000 Was it in China?
01:00:00.000 Was it in China?
01:00:01.000 It might have been China or Korea.
01:00:03.000 I think it was Korea because I saw the guy throw a kick.
01:00:05.000 Oh, I think so. 0.70
01:00:05.000 And they went nuts on each other. 0.70
01:00:07.000 They started fucking kicking the shit out of each other. 1.00
01:00:08.000 And then there was one in Ukraine, remember? 1.00
01:00:10.000 Oh, yeah.
01:00:11.000 And Ukraine's not the place you want to do it. 0.99
01:00:13.000 What if, you know, Vitaly Klitsch goes to running, you're running against him, you know?
01:00:18.000 Ukraine people, they're cut from a different cloth. 1.00
01:00:21.000 All those people from that part of the world, there's something extra strong about them.
01:00:27.000 You know, just the robustness of the people.
01:00:31.000 They're survivors. 1.00
01:00:33.000 Fuck yeah, man. 1.00
01:00:34.000 It's cold as shit up there. 1.00
01:00:35.000 Cold as shit, and they were repressed for so many years. 1.00
01:00:40.000 Yeah, you could take some dude who lives in Siberia, some man and his wife from Siberia. 1.00
01:00:45.000 Look at Ruslan Provodnikov.
01:00:46.000 He's from Siberia.
01:00:47.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:00:49.000 He may not be the best at it, but he sure is the toughest at it.
01:00:51.000 Well, wasn't Karelin from Siberia as well?
01:00:55.000 Alexander Karelin, the wrestler?
01:00:57.000 I could not confirm or deny this.
01:00:58.000 Do you know who that is?
01:00:59.000 I do not.
01:01:00.000 Dude.
01:01:01.000 Maybe the scariest guy of all time.
01:01:03.000 In the history of Russian athletes, there's one guy who stands out.
01:01:08.000 The only wrestling match he lost in the Olympics was to Rulon Gardner.
01:01:13.000 I think that was the only in his entire amateur career.
01:01:17.000 And I might be wrong about that.
01:01:19.000 But...
01:01:20.000 I know he lost to him in the Olympics, and the only reason why he lost to him was like some new rule where if you separated the hands, it would be a point.
01:01:28.000 It was the first time that was ever in the Olympics.
01:01:30.000 So if you're, because they're Greco-Roman. 0.69
01:01:32.000 Do they have gable grip in Greco-Roman? 0.98
01:01:34.000 They do a bunch of shit, but it's mostly upper body grappling and collar ties. 0.99
01:01:39.000 They don't shoot doubles. 0.99
01:01:40.000 It's like, it's a different style of wrestling.
01:01:41.000 And Corellin excelled at it, because he was this freak specimen.
01:01:46.000 But he's from Siberia, but he was like 6'3", 300 pounds. 0.99
01:01:50.000 Just a ridiculous guy. 0.95
01:01:52.000 And there's a picture of him hoisting this guy in the air. 0.99
01:01:55.000 And I have it in my gym.
01:01:57.000 I stare at it all the time.
01:01:59.000 Like if I ever take myself seriously, this picture right here. 0.99
01:02:03.000 If I ever want to know and really truly understand what a pussy I am... 0.99
01:02:07.000 I need to look at this picture of Corellin. 0.99
01:02:10.000 He's gritting his teeth, and he's hoisting this guy up in the air.
01:02:15.000 Dude, no mouth guard. 1.00
01:02:16.000 Look at the size of his fucking quads. 1.00
01:02:18.000 I mean, he was a freak. 1.00
01:02:22.000 Giant calves. 0.91
01:02:23.000 He was a freak. 1.00
01:02:26.000 And he fucking ragdolled dudes. 1.00
01:02:30.000 How old is he now? 0.99
01:02:31.000 Well, he's a wrestling coach now.
01:02:33.000 I believe, if I had to guess, I would say he's probably 50. I bet you Bellator will sign him.
01:02:39.000 Dude, he almost went to MMA in the 1990s.
01:02:42.000 How old is he?
01:02:43.000 49. 49. So I'm close.
01:02:45.000 He almost went into MMA in the 1990s.
01:02:48.000 It may have been the early 2000s.
01:02:50.000 I think he was thinking about doing it.
01:02:52.000 Because I know there were some offers.
01:02:54.000 I feel like he did some pro wrestling thing.
01:02:58.000 I think he might have done some fake wrestling thing, like for money or something like that. 0.51
01:03:03.000 But dude, he was a freak! 0.97
01:03:07.000 Just a freak. 0.99
01:03:08.000 And he would throw guys around in this really ridiculous way where they just, they were like little children. 1.00
01:03:14.000 Because he was a big giant dude, like look at the size of that motherfucker! 1.00
01:03:18.000 But he was also really agile. 0.99
01:03:21.000 Like these rolls that he could do, these dives, he was like so gentle in a lot of his movements, but freakishly strong.
01:03:29.000 So he had achieved this spectacular balance Of incredible technique, but ridiculous freakish human athletic ability.
01:03:39.000 So he had like the combination of those things.
01:03:41.000 Like look at his technique, everything is perfect, but he's also tremendously strong.
01:03:47.000 Like the Russian wrestling coaching.
01:03:50.000 The look on that guy's face.
01:03:52.000 Russian wrestling is incredibly technical.
01:03:56.000 Well, just the Eastern Bloc countries, they have a super high level of wrestling technical skill.
01:04:04.000 That's one of the reasons why George St. Pierre is so good, because he was training with these Russian nationals that came over and lived in Montreal.
01:04:11.000 That's where St. Pierre learned how to wrestle.
01:04:13.000 Yeah, he has a solid base.
01:04:14.000 Dude, he's incredible.
01:04:15.000 Is he coming back?
01:04:17.000 I don't know.
01:04:18.000 He keeps thinking about it and talking about it.
01:04:21.000 I'm sure you've heard the rumors.
01:04:23.000 Yeah, well they're talking about like a super fight with Anderson.
01:04:25.000 Yeah.
01:04:26.000 I don't know.
01:04:26.000 In Toronto.
01:04:27.000 No one's told that to me.
01:04:29.000 I've not heard that.
01:04:30.000 I mean, I've heard it, but I've not heard it from a human.
01:04:33.000 If I was George, and I was thinking right now, I think George St. Pierre is...
01:04:37.000 I mean, there's only a small handful of people as famous in the world of MMA as a fighter as George St. Pierre.
01:04:44.000 There's Conor, who's the most famous.
01:04:46.000 There's Ronda, who's right up there.
01:04:48.000 Ronda and Conor are almost interchangeable in my eyes.
01:04:51.000 As far as how famous they are.
01:04:53.000 Maybe more Conor because he's famous worldwide.
01:04:56.000 I don't know, man.
01:04:57.000 It's super close.
01:04:58.000 I think Ronda affected her legacy by taking that year off. 0.99
01:05:02.000 Well, that doesn't matter.
01:05:03.000 If she comes back with a storm, she beats Amanda Nunes and gets the belt, she's bigger than ever. 1.00
01:05:07.000 It's a tough one.
01:05:08.000 It's a very tough one, but if she does do it, she's bigger than ever.
01:05:10.000 She's got that, whatever it is, that dynamic personality that people get attracted to, and there's something about her losing, and maybe even losing like that, that could even make it more attractive to some folks. 0.92
01:05:23.000 You know, it makes her more human, makes her more vulnerable. 0.99
01:05:27.000 You know, one of the things that people didn't like about her was how confident and strong... 0.94
01:05:31.000 She was very invincible at the time.
01:05:32.000 Well, and she was also, like, really aggressive about it with other girls. 1.00
01:05:35.000 But, you know, in her eyes, those girls were trying to take something from her. 1.00
01:05:40.000 Well, she was the Mike Tyson of MMA. The only way you get to be a champion is if you have that insane belief in yourself.
01:05:48.000 But when you lose the way she lost to Holly, which is a devastating knockout, it's always interesting to see how someone rebounds.
01:05:56.000 Some people rebound, they become better.
01:05:58.000 They come back tougher and stronger.
01:06:00.000 That's what we're hoping for.
01:06:02.000 That's what you're hoping for.
01:06:03.000 Or some people come back, they fight smarter.
01:06:05.000 That was George St. Pierre.
01:06:06.000 When George St. Pierre got beaten up by Matt Serra, Matt Serra clobbered him.
01:06:11.000 Just clobbered him.
01:06:13.000 Clipped him, hurt him, got on top of him, mounted him, punched him in the face, made him tap. 1.00
01:06:16.000 He beat the shit out of him. 0.99
01:06:18.000 And George came back better than ever. 0.97
01:06:21.000 He just regrouped.
01:06:22.000 But George also didn't take a year off in between there.
01:06:24.000 It's true.
01:06:25.000 It's true, but I don't know.
01:06:26.000 And he didn't get on TV and, you know...
01:06:27.000 No, for sure.
01:06:29.000 George is a different person, for sure.
01:06:30.000 I love Rhonda, but I'm hoping for her.
01:06:36.000 I'm a big fan of taking a long time off when you get knocked out.
01:06:41.000 I get that.
01:06:41.000 I understand that.
01:06:42.000 I think it's real important.
01:06:43.000 It is very important.
01:06:44.000 However, what you do in that time and how you present yourself in that time is also important.
01:06:51.000 Well, she didn't really do much.
01:06:52.000 She kind of laid low.
01:06:53.000 You know?
01:06:54.000 She may have laid a little too low.
01:06:56.000 Nah.
01:06:57.000 Nah, I don't think so.
01:06:59.000 I see your point, but I disagree. 0.99
01:07:01.000 I think she can do whatever the fuck she wants. 1.00
01:07:03.000 I mean, I don't know that it really affected her brand so much, but... 0.98
01:07:07.000 You sound like a marketing genius.
01:07:08.000 That's what I'm just thinking about.
01:07:09.000 Dude, you should have a startup.
01:07:11.000 We should have a startup together.
01:07:13.000 Let's do it.
01:07:13.000 What do you want to do?
01:07:15.000 Weed for people who don't do weed.
01:07:16.000 What do you think is wrong with taking a year off?
01:07:20.000 Nothing's wrong with taking a year off, but you know that Ellen interview where she was talking about contemplating suicide?
01:07:25.000 Oh, yeah.
01:07:25.000 Forgot about that.
01:07:26.000 I mean, I think those are the things that showed the mental makeup, and that's where I think that's what's put the doubt in everybody's mind now.
01:07:32.000 If I had to do a Brendan Schaub right now, I'd say for sure don't do your first interview with Ellen on TV. Yeah, and cry.
01:07:40.000 Yeah, I don't know, man.
01:07:41.000 I think those TV formats, although I've done them and I enjoyed them, when you do those things, you can't be yourself in seven minutes.
01:07:53.000 It's not enough time.
01:07:54.000 Especially if they don't know you.
01:07:56.000 And the people you're talking to don't know you either.
01:07:58.000 There's a giant crowd of people, and there's lights that say applause, and there's a guy who like...
01:08:03.000 The clapping instead of laughing.
01:08:05.000 They had a warm-up guy who walks around.
01:08:08.000 Come on, guys!
01:08:09.000 We're going live!
01:08:09.000 We're coming back live.
01:08:11.000 You guys are super excited.
01:08:12.000 We're excited to have you.
01:08:13.000 Thanks for all your enthusiasm.
01:08:15.000 We really appreciate it.
01:08:16.000 I'm just going to need it.
01:08:17.000 Let's just 10% more, folks.
01:08:19.000 Come on, we can do this.
01:08:20.000 Yep.
01:08:21.000 Take whatever you got and add 30 to it.
01:08:23.000 Now, Rhonda, tell us about your head trauma and all these people.
01:08:26.000 I mean, it's bizarre.
01:08:28.000 It's bizarre.
01:08:29.000 It's a bizarre way to talk to people.
01:08:31.000 I think what she should have done was talk to somebody in the fight game. 0.88
01:08:35.000 It would have been...
01:08:36.000 It would have been received a little bit better because then she would have been speaking to somebody knowledgeable about.
01:08:41.000 Yeah.
01:08:41.000 Well, you know what, man?
01:08:43.000 She can do whatever she wants to do.
01:08:46.000 I don't know what was going on in her head during that time, but I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a year off, getting your head together.
01:08:55.000 And she also had some injuries she had to take care of.
01:08:57.000 Do you think she should have changed her training camp?
01:09:00.000 I don't know what she's doing, honestly.
01:09:02.000 Word on the street is she's still right back at Glendale Fight Club.
01:09:05.000 Listen, whether or not that guy Edmund has had success with some of his students or what issues they've had, you can't deny that he's worked wonders with her hands.
01:09:18.000 Her striking ability, when she was warming up for that Betch-Cohuea fight, and they were in Brazil, they were on the sand, and they're doing these pad drills together, she looked fantastic, right?
01:09:29.000 You look at her when she first started striking, you look at it until now, a big percentage of that is those two working together.
01:09:35.000 So there's no denying there's some merit to what he does, unquestionably.
01:09:39.000 He's definitely helping her.
01:09:41.000 You would have to examine the whole camp like a scientist.
01:09:46.000 You'd have to sit down.
01:09:47.000 To do this right, you've got a world-class, world-championship-level racehorse in a woman like Ronda Rousey, or any fighter for that matter. 0.99
01:09:57.000 If you were the overseer, if you were someone who could say, okay, what is the best course of this thing?
01:10:03.000 Well, you have to address technical issues.
01:10:06.000 You've got to address psychological issues.
01:10:08.000 You've got to address comfort, nutrition, all these different things.
01:10:12.000 You'd say, okay, technically, what are we trying to achieve?
01:10:16.000 Victory, right?
01:10:16.000 Like, what is her best options?
01:10:18.000 Like, is she training with the best kind of sparring partners? 0.96
01:10:21.000 And the thing is, you don't fucking know. 0.87
01:10:24.000 Like, one person can do it one way and be super successful, then everybody says, well, that's the way to do it. 0.98
01:10:29.000 You don't spar, and you only do drills, and then you ride bikes.
01:10:33.000 That's what Donald Cerrone's been doing.
01:10:35.000 Or you could go the Eddie Alvarez route, right?
01:10:37.000 Eddie Alvarez sparred like 150 rounds preparing for Rafael dos Anjos.
01:10:41.000 So he went the other route. 0.98
01:10:43.000 He just said, we're going fucking crazy. 0.99
01:10:45.000 We're going to go old school, crazy. 0.99
01:10:46.000 We're going to go in there and brawl and just be completely prepared to fight.
01:10:51.000 But Cerrone doesn't continuously train without sparring, does he?
01:10:54.000 Yes.
01:10:54.000 How long has he been doing that?
01:10:56.000 Since the fight with Dos Anjos.
01:10:58.000 He was talking about it.
01:10:59.000 He said, you take too much punishment in the gym.
01:11:02.000 He's like, you're taking too much punishment in sparring.
01:11:04.000 And he just, he had some issues where, I think he said he closed his eyes and the equilibrium was given out.
01:11:10.000 He was falling. 1.00
01:11:11.000 And he was like, what the fuck? 0.99
01:11:12.000 He realized it was, he found out later it was an inner ear issue, I think it was, right? 0.99
01:11:16.000 Like a vertigo type thing.
01:11:19.000 Oh, it was a nose-clogging one that had affected his inner ear.
01:11:23.000 I think it was like an infection in some way.
01:11:26.000 So he decided, let's just do drills.
01:11:29.000 I know how to fight.
01:11:30.000 And he's had incredible results.
01:11:32.000 So I think some other guys are doing that too.
01:11:35.000 But also, in the frequency that Cerrone fights it as well, he can probably get by without doing that because he's in the ring enough where he doesn't need to be in the ring extra.
01:11:46.000 I think you're right.
01:11:48.000 I think there's that too.
01:11:49.000 There's a comfortable balance.
01:11:51.000 And it's probably one of the reasons why he likes to fight so much.
01:11:53.000 He's easily the most active fighter in the game.
01:11:56.000 He definitely tries to be.
01:11:58.000 But the problem also is right now, setting up the right fight for a guy like him is probably not that easy.
01:12:04.000 Because he's always ready.
01:12:06.000 Well, he's always ready.
01:12:07.000 But setting up a fight for him, it's a high-profile fight, but it's also a dangerous fight.
01:12:13.000 So you've got to say, okay, who do you set him up with? 0.98
01:12:15.000 Because after you see what he did to Rick's story, you go, holy shit. 0.99
01:12:19.000 Donald at 170 is like some new thing. 0.99
01:12:22.000 He's a new thing.
01:12:23.000 He's way healthier.
01:12:25.000 It kills me to think that guy was starving himself for all those years.
01:12:29.000 He's a big dude.
01:12:30.000 He's not small, but at 155, he just didn't have the durability. 0.95
01:12:35.000 And at 170, god damn, he's looking good. 0.93
01:12:38.000 It's amazing. 0.99
01:12:39.000 It's a crazy sport, isn't it?
01:12:41.000 You know, I love it.
01:12:43.000 I love being there with those things.
01:12:46.000 And, you know, when you get to know the fighters and stuff and you hear a little inside talk and it's always interesting, you know?
01:12:52.000 I know it is, man.
01:12:53.000 Because, you know, you realize when you meet them and you talk to them that they're just guys doing a job.
01:12:58.000 They're not looking at it as, I just want to be the toughest guy in the world.
01:13:02.000 They're like, I got to get more money out of this.
01:13:04.000 Well, there's definitely that aspect of it.
01:13:07.000 But there's also the guys that just want to go in there and be the toughest guy in the world as well.
01:13:12.000 Those are usually the new guys.
01:13:13.000 Sometimes, yeah.
01:13:14.000 Yeah.
01:13:15.000 The older guys are like, look, I already know I'm tough, and everybody else knows I'm tough.
01:13:18.000 Now I've got to monetize this.
01:13:20.000 Yeah, there's so many factors at play, you know, when it comes to fighting.
01:13:24.000 There's genetics, which play a giant role.
01:13:27.000 There's certain guys that are just built better for it.
01:13:30.000 They've just got a lucky roll of the dice.
01:13:32.000 And they have better...
01:13:34.000 The design of their body's better.
01:13:36.000 Their shape is better.
01:13:38.000 It works better.
01:13:38.000 They can hit you harder.
01:13:39.000 Their jaw's bigger.
01:13:40.000 They can take more punishment.
01:13:42.000 They've got genetics on their side.
01:13:43.000 Yeah, there's always going to be guys like that.
01:13:45.000 So you're seeing guys like that now, but then you're seeing the mental aspect of it. 0.98
01:13:49.000 How many guys have mental coaches now and hypnotists and shit? 0.96
01:13:53.000 It's such a weird game now. 0.99
01:13:55.000 Dude, it's interesting.
01:13:56.000 Any fight sport now is very different than it was.
01:13:59.000 In the 80s, when I was training boxing, there was no nutrition.
01:14:02.000 There was no...
01:14:04.000 Yeah.
01:14:05.000 I think I might have said it before.
01:14:07.000 My coach would get to the gym, my coach would be like, go run.
01:14:09.000 And I'm like, I just want to box.
01:14:11.000 He's like, no, you've got to go run.
01:14:12.000 And then I would be like, all right.
01:14:14.000 And I go, where do I run to?
01:14:15.000 And he goes, run up to Torbram and Seven and come back.
01:14:20.000 And I'm like, all right.
01:14:21.000 And right at that intersection was a McDonald's, just a little bit down.
01:14:25.000 So I would run to the McDonald's and get a milkshake, and then I would walk back.
01:14:31.000 Yeah.
01:14:32.000 Because I made sure I ran there as fast as I could.
01:14:35.000 To get a milkshake.
01:14:35.000 So I could walk back.
01:14:37.000 And then I would run maybe in the last half.
01:14:40.000 So I would be sweating and a little bit out of breath when I got there.
01:14:45.000 What do you think about this Amanda Nunes, Ronda Rousey fight? 1.00
01:14:48.000 Amanda's a... 0.99
01:14:49.000 Dude, she's a beast. 1.00
01:14:50.000 She's badass. 1.00
01:14:52.000 She's badass. 1.00
01:14:52.000 I mean, I would feel more comfortable if she was coming back against Misha or even a rematch against Holly, but Amanda scares me, dude. 1.00
01:15:00.000 Before Holly knocked out Ronda, I had said that I just thought Holly Holm needed more fights in the UFC, like more people to know who she is. 1.00
01:15:10.000 I go, and I think Amanda Nunes is the more dangerous fight. 1.00
01:15:12.000 Because Amanda Nunes is a black belt in jujitsu. 1.00
01:15:15.000 And she hits fucking hard, man. 1.00
01:15:17.000 She looks like she hits like a dude. 1.00
01:15:18.000 Yeah, she hits so much harder than most of the women in that division. 1.00
01:15:22.000 She's super aggressive. 1.00
01:15:23.000 She's got shorter arms and she looks like she can crank. 1.00
01:15:26.000 You know, this whole Cyborg thing.
01:15:29.000 Everybody wants Cyborg to fight in the UFC. They're trying to set up a fight with Ronda.
01:15:35.000 I would like Cyborg to fight Nunes.
01:15:36.000 Yeah, I was just thinking that.
01:15:38.000 If Nunez could pack on some weight.
01:15:40.000 So the thing about Cyborg is she struggles to get to 40. She's so drained when she gets to 40. Is there a weight class above that?
01:15:49.000 There should be.
01:15:50.000 There should be a 145. Yeah, or even a 150. They should just give her the title at 145. Who is denying that she's the toughest 145-pound woman on the planet? 1.00
01:15:59.000 Who's denying that?
01:16:00.000 There's no one.
01:16:01.000 I think there's a shit ton of fights waiting to happen at 145, 150 even.
01:16:06.000 When Victor has a whole 145-pound division, a bunch of them were messaging me.
01:16:10.000 They were tweeting at me after we were talking about bringing...
01:16:13.000 And Victor's still around?
01:16:14.000 Yeah, the UFC owns it.
01:16:17.000 They do.
01:16:17.000 Of course they do.
01:16:18.000 I think they own part of it or something, or it's on Fight Pass or something along those lines.
01:16:22.000 But, yeah, man, she's a destroyer, you know?
01:16:27.000 Cyborg is a destroyer.
01:16:28.000 Yeah.
01:16:29.000 She's so terrifying.
01:16:30.000 Watch the way she attacks these chicks. 1.00
01:16:32.000 Like, that's the 145-pound world champion.
01:16:34.000 And she looks like Mickey Rourke, so... 1.00
01:16:36.000 I think she's a little prettier than Mickey Rourke, bro.
01:16:39.000 You're being rude.
01:16:40.000 I meant the lips.
01:16:41.000 I can't take this.
01:16:43.000 I can't take this.
01:16:45.000 I'm going to tweet to her after and apologize.
01:16:47.000 Apologize now. 0.95
01:16:48.000 Because I don't want Cyborg kicking the shit out of me. 0.96
01:16:51.000 But what's interesting is, I wonder if there's a 55. Is there a 55 pound division to be had? 0.96
01:16:57.000 I think maybe one...
01:16:58.000 I'd go up to 148, 150 at the most, I would say.
01:17:02.000 Hmm.
01:17:03.000 I wonder.
01:17:04.000 Because, you know, I think Cyborg's...
01:17:06.000 One of her coaches was saying that if you really gave her the right division, it would be 155. Like, that would be the division where she would feel the healthiest.
01:17:14.000 Because I think she walks around at like 170-something. 0.98
01:17:17.000 Probably.
01:17:18.000 But she's all muscled, you know? 1.00
01:17:19.000 It's not like she's...
01:17:20.000 She's not walking around like me. 0.88
01:17:22.000 She's walking around all muscled. 0.99
01:17:23.000 Yeah, she's yoked. 1.00
01:17:24.000 Yeah.
01:17:25.000 But Amanda Nunez is not that big. 0.59
01:17:28.000 She's not as big as her.
01:17:29.000 No.
01:17:30.000 So that would be...
01:17:31.000 You know, it wouldn't be the wisest fight.
01:17:34.000 Because Amanda Nunes is like a legitimate 135 pounder. 1.00
01:17:37.000 But she's a 135 pounder that hits like a dude. 1.00
01:17:40.000 And she's very solidly built.
01:17:42.000 She's very...
01:17:43.000 It's all very compact.
01:17:46.000 Did you see her fight with Kat Zingano?
01:17:48.000 I did not. 0.99
01:17:49.000 Did you see how fucking ferocious Kat Zingano is? 1.00
01:17:52.000 Because she had Kat Zingano hurt in the first round. 1.00
01:17:55.000 And she was getting beat up.
01:17:57.000 Like real bad.
01:17:59.000 The first round was real bad for Kat. 1.00
01:18:01.000 And she made it out of that round, and she stopped her in either the second or the third. 0.99
01:18:06.000 I can't really remember.
01:18:08.000 See if you can remember that.
01:18:09.000 Or, uh, you don't remember it.
01:18:11.000 I want to say she stopped her in the third. 0.98
01:18:14.000 But it was just this brutal fucking exchange, and she eventually beat Amanda Nunes. 1.00
01:18:20.000 Katzengana's also knocked out Misha Tate. 0.99
01:18:22.000 People forget about that.
01:18:23.000 Mm-hmm.
01:18:24.000 Kat Singano's a beast. 1.00
01:18:26.000 What's that?
01:18:27.000 Third round TKO. So Kat stopped Amanda in third round. 1.00
01:18:31.000 Yeah, but the first round, dude, she had to survive.
01:18:33.000 She was getting beat the fuck up. 1.00
01:18:35.000 And that's all stand-up. 0.99
01:18:37.000 Well, I think she got cracked in the stand-up, and I think most of it was ground and pound on the ground, if I remember correctly.
01:18:45.000 Amanda, as far as her punches from the outside, she's got amazing snap. 1.00
01:18:52.000 She really knows how to be in the right position, and she drops full snapping punches on girls. 1.00
01:18:59.000 She really turns her knuckles over.
01:19:01.000 She knows her distance.
01:19:02.000 Oh, dude, she cracks people. 1.00
01:19:04.000 She cracks Sarah McMahon. 1.00
01:19:06.000 You see that fight?
01:19:07.000 I did not.
01:19:08.000 Dude.
01:19:09.000 You know, a lot of times I catch, I jump in somewhere right around three fights before the main event or two fights before the main event.
01:19:16.000 Yeah, you're one of those cool guys.
01:19:18.000 No, I watch the prelims and then I get fucked up when I have to change a channel because I'm like, where did it go? 0.69
01:19:23.000 How am I finding this, you know?
01:19:25.000 Yeah, when you're there live, though, do you go for the whole event?
01:19:27.000 I do.
01:19:28.000 I do get there very early.
01:19:29.000 Yeah, the live event is a different animal, right?
01:19:32.000 Everybody should see a UFC live once.
01:19:35.000 I always try and get your attention, but I'm on the wrong side of the octagon.
01:19:38.000 Just come over and grab me, man.
01:19:39.000 Oh, that'll stop me, sir.
01:19:40.000 You can't go this way.
01:19:41.000 And I'm like, alright.
01:19:42.000 Well, next time, come with me.
01:19:43.000 I'll hook it up.
01:19:45.000 I see the seats.
01:19:46.000 I see the seats you get.
01:19:47.000 And I'm like, where are you?
01:19:48.000 And they're like, oh, I'm with Joe. 0.99
01:19:49.000 And I'm like, fuck, that's a good seat. 0.99
01:19:50.000 You could do that. 1.00
01:19:51.000 We could do that.
01:19:52.000 We'll hook it up.
01:19:53.000 How about Toronto?
01:19:54.000 I'm in.
01:19:54.000 Are you going to be there for that one?
01:19:55.000 What is it, December 10th?
01:19:58.000 Something like that.
01:19:59.000 I'm doing a show with Big Jay Oakerson.
01:20:01.000 Oh, I love Jay.
01:20:02.000 At Massey Hall.
01:20:04.000 Can I host it? 1.00
01:20:05.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00
01:20:06.000 That's it. 1.00
01:20:06.000 Russell Peters, Big J, and me. 1.00
01:20:08.000 You heard it here, folks.
01:20:09.000 I'll host that.
01:20:10.000 It's like December 9th or whatever it is, the day before the UFC. Yeah.
01:20:13.000 Tickets are not on sale yet.
01:20:15.000 They'll be on sale like in a week.
01:20:17.000 December.
01:20:19.000 Yeah, that'll be fun, dude.
01:20:20.000 The three of us, that'll be a good old time.
01:20:23.000 Hell yeah.
01:20:24.000 That'll be real fun.
01:20:27.000 But what were we just talking about?
01:20:28.000 Oh, the Amanda Nunes-Ronda Rousey fight.
01:20:33.000 But if Ronda gets her to the ground, man, it could get super interesting.
01:20:36.000 I would just like to see one tune-up fight.
01:20:39.000 No, no tune-up fights.
01:20:42.000 This is not boxing.
01:20:44.000 The UFC doesn't give tune-up fights.
01:20:46.000 No, they don't. 1.00
01:20:46.000 Fuck. 1.00
01:20:47.000 It's just mountain after mountain. 1.00
01:20:50.000 You know what I will say, though, that the women have proven to have far more resilience than the men. 0.97
01:20:56.000 A lot of times they're just fucking their willingness to not tap and their willingness to to get in there and I prefer to not compare them Gender to gender because I'm not one of those people.
01:21:06.000 I just want to let you know that I just objectified them in my own I think I mean not no need no need need to even compare them to the men what I'll say is there's Amazing athletes and amazing champions in both the men and the women's division legitimately legitimately now Like, 0.96
01:21:26.000 there's no denying that there's world-class talent.
01:21:29.000 But there's also no denying that the highest levels of male talent, there's a bigger pool.
01:21:34.000 But that's natural, because there's more men that are interested in competing in MMA than women.
01:21:38.000 Primarily a male-dominated sport.
01:21:39.000 Yeah, but the women's side is growing. 1.00
01:21:42.000 And you're getting a lot of, like, really high-level Muay Thai fighters, like Valentina Shevchenko, who's a multiple-time world champion, who comes over, and now she's fighting.
01:21:50.000 And she just beat Holly Holm. 0.99
01:21:52.000 She beat Holly Holm.
01:21:53.000 And she really, like, outclassed her with stand-up.
01:21:55.000 That was a big aspect of that fight.
01:21:57.000 I did see that, and that was a big shock for me.
01:22:00.000 I thought Holly would outbox her.
01:22:01.000 No, Valentina's nasty, dude. 1.00
01:22:03.000 She's got that beautiful check right hook, and she's real sneaky with her leg kicks. 1.00
01:22:07.000 She's got excellent timing.
01:22:09.000 She's a really dangerous fighter for anybody in that division, because if you can't take her to the ground, it's highly unlikely that you're going to stand with her and not get cracked.
01:22:18.000 You're going to start getting real apprehensive about your movements.
01:22:23.000 Because she throws that beautiful check right hook, or at least she did with Holly. 1.00
01:22:26.000 She counters well.
01:22:27.000 Dude, she's just a real high-level striker. 1.00
01:22:30.000 And if you can't get her to the ground, and even if you can get her to the ground, like she's been working on her ground game, and she's very strong.
01:22:35.000 So there's suit, like that fight right there.
01:22:37.000 Isn't she due for a title shot, though? 1.00
01:22:39.000 Yes.
01:22:39.000 Yeah.
01:22:40.000 Yeah, she is.
01:22:40.000 I'm sure.
01:22:42.000 She's fighting Misha. 1.00
01:22:44.000 No, who the fuck is she fighting? 1.00
01:22:44.000 She is fighting Misha, I think. 1.00
01:22:46.000 Misha's fighting somebody in Madison...
01:22:50.000 No, Misha's fighting Rachelle Pennington.
01:22:52.000 Oh.
01:22:54.000 Yeah, Raquel Pennington and Misha are fighting...
01:22:57.000 In New York?
01:22:57.000 In New York City, yeah.
01:22:59.000 Raquel Pennington's another one.
01:23:00.000 She doesn't get enough respect. 0.99
01:23:02.000 She's dangerous. 1.00
01:23:03.000 Super aggressive, really good timing.
01:23:06.000 Really good timing with her hands in particular.
01:23:07.000 Are you doing those ones?
01:23:08.000 Yeah, the Madison Square Garden one, for sure.
01:23:10.000 MSG, New York, and New Year's Eve.
01:23:13.000 Oh, yeah.
01:23:13.000 Yeah.
01:23:14.000 Like, for me, like, a fight like the Misha Tate-Holly Holm fight, that's about as exciting a fight as you're ever going to see.
01:23:21.000 It's about as exciting a fight as you will ever see.
01:23:24.000 And the fact that there was a round in there where not much was happening, a round or so, where not much was happening, where Holly was trying to avoid Misha and was just striking on the outside, that made the ending even more spectacular.
01:23:36.000 Like, the lull in that actually made the fight better in the end.
01:23:39.000 Because it looked like Holly was going to cruise to a victory. 0.98
01:23:41.000 Mm-hmm.
01:23:42.000 Mm-hmm.
01:23:42.000 And out of nowhere.
01:23:43.000 And then Misha dug deep.
01:23:46.000 It's one of my all-time favorite moments. 1.00
01:23:48.000 And then fucking Holly did not fuck you. 1.00
01:23:51.000 She's like, fuck you, I'm not tapping. 1.00
01:23:52.000 She went to sleep throwing punches. 1.00
01:23:54.000 Oh my god.
01:23:56.000 And it looked like one of those puppets. 0.94
01:23:58.000 Gangster. 0.61
01:24:00.000 So gangster. 0.70
01:24:01.000 The whole fight, so gangster.
01:24:05.000 And that was in the same card where Nate Diaz beat Connor.
01:24:07.000 I mean, that was one of the main reasons why I decided to stay doing commentary, that card.
01:24:12.000 Because I was on the fence.
01:24:14.000 I was like, maybe I should just stop doing it and then just devote more time to doing other stuff.
01:24:19.000 Were you offered the Bisping Hendo fight?
01:24:21.000 No, I told them I'm not doing the ones that are overseas. 0.97
01:24:24.000 That's such a good fight.
01:24:25.000 It was amazing.
01:24:26.000 I enjoyed it.
01:24:26.000 I watched it at home.
01:24:27.000 I watched it here.
01:24:28.000 We watched it here.
01:24:29.000 We did a fight companion.
01:24:30.000 Did part of you wish you could have been there to commentate that one?
01:24:33.000 Nah.
01:24:34.000 I mean, the fight companions are great, but I'm saying...
01:24:37.000 No, no.
01:24:38.000 I just think you would have added...
01:24:39.000 I think Brian Stan's awesome.
01:24:40.000 I think Brian Stan's great. 0.97
01:24:41.000 He takes a lot of shit from people that just don't like things that are different, or they just pick a side or something like that, but I love his commentary. 0.97
01:24:48.000 I like Brian, I like Kenny, I like everybody doing it, but, you know, you're that thing. 0.99
01:24:54.000 Yeah, but they could be that thing, too.
01:24:56.000 You know who's really good is Dominic Cruz.
01:24:57.000 Dominic Cruz is very good.
01:24:59.000 Very good, especially from the technical aspect.
01:25:02.000 And so is Daniel Cormier.
01:25:03.000 Yeah, I do like both of them when they do it for fun.
01:25:06.000 Well, Cormier's also spent so much time doing the behind-the-desk stuff now that he's gotten real comfortable with expressing himself in poetic and interesting ways.
01:25:15.000 You know, when he's describing fights and fights, he gets hyped up about it.
01:25:20.000 He's got great emotion to it.
01:25:21.000 It's entertaining as well as informative.
01:25:24.000 Yeah, he's fighting Rumble.
01:25:27.000 Rematch.
01:25:28.000 That's an exciting fight.
01:25:29.000 The Rumble man's coming.
01:25:30.000 He's so scary. 1.00
01:25:32.000 He is a very scary fucking guy. 1.00
01:25:33.000 He's so scary. 1.00
01:25:34.000 I've seen him at the fights just in the audience and I smiled because I acknowledged like, hey man. 0.99
01:25:39.000 And he did not fucking smile back. 1.00
01:25:41.000 He's a bad motherfucker, that Rumble. 1.00
01:25:43.000 But it wasn't like I hate you. 1.00
01:25:44.000 It was just like, fuck you smiling at him. 1.00
01:25:45.000 No, he's a good guy, man. 1.00
01:25:46.000 Rumble's a good guy.
01:25:47.000 He's a very good guy.
01:25:48.000 I don't know him like that, but I gave him a smile and a nod and I got a...
01:26:10.000 I hate everybody.
01:26:15.000 No, Rumble is a unique specimen.
01:26:18.000 It's just so hard to believe that he was a 170-pounder for so long and was killing himself to make that 170. Goes up to 205 and is one of the scariest guys ever.
01:26:29.000 He's one of the scariest guys of all time.
01:26:31.000 I don't even know how he made 170. How the fuck did he make 170? 0.99
01:26:36.000 I don't know. 0.99
01:26:37.000 That's a young man's thing. 0.95
01:26:39.000 There's Anthony.
01:26:41.000 Yeah, he doesn't look anything like Bruce Seldon, though.
01:26:43.000 Get a shot of Bruce Seldon, let's see.
01:26:45.000 Maybe not that picture.
01:26:47.000 Not at all. 1.00
01:26:48.000 You're a racist. 1.00
01:26:50.000 I'm not kidding. 0.99
01:26:51.000 There's a picture of Bruce Seldon where he looks really dark, and that's not it.
01:26:55.000 Look at that picture up there on the right.
01:26:57.000 See the one where he's wearing the red and white trunks?
01:26:59.000 Yeah, see?
01:27:00.000 Oh, okay. 0.93
01:27:02.000 No, you're racist. 0.95
01:27:07.000 That's me, guys.
01:27:09.000 But we've got to remember, Rumble survived that storm the first time.
01:27:12.000 You know, the first fight that Rumble and DC had.
01:27:15.000 Cormier survived.
01:27:17.000 Cormier survived that storm and then put his own storm on Rumble, you know?
01:27:21.000 Cormier is such a world-class wrestler. 0.98
01:27:25.000 His sparring partner is fucking Cain Velasquez. 0.99
01:27:28.000 And the other one is Luke Rockhold. 1.00
01:27:30.000 So on a daily, he's sparring with those fucking guys. 1.00
01:27:33.000 And they go hard in AK. Yeah. 1.00
01:27:35.000 And he's arguably one of the best wrestlers to ever compete in MMA. There's like a handful of guys you look at as being in contention for being the best wrestler to ever compete in MMA. Henry Cejudo, of course, Olympic gold medalist.
01:27:46.000 There's a few guys, but Cormier's in that mix.
01:27:50.000 He's in the mix.
01:27:51.000 I mean, they all give each other something else. 0.98
01:27:55.000 And I think that fucking AKA camp, where it's him and Kane, and they're just smashing heads together all the time. 0.88
01:28:02.000 You know, it's funny, when I'm up in Northern Cali, I'll call whoever, and I'm like, hey, I'm out here, and they're like, do you want to come train? 0.99
01:28:08.000 And I'm like, no, no.
01:28:10.000 They're like, do you want to come train at AK? No, thanks.
01:28:12.000 I'll call Gil, and he's like, do you want to come by Scrap Pack and train?
01:28:16.000 I'm like, no, I'm good, buddy. 1.00
01:28:17.000 Fuck all that. 0.99
01:28:17.000 I'm like, yeah, my level is not anywhere near anybody's level. 0.99
01:28:21.000 Yeah, I'm just trying to get someone to hold pads.
01:28:23.000 Yeah, I'm a 46-year-old man. 0.99
01:28:25.000 I'm a chubby fucking Indian guy. 0.99
01:28:27.000 I'm not trying to... 0.99
01:28:28.000 It's fun to be around those places, though.
01:28:30.000 Yeah, that's what does you in.
01:28:32.000 You go in, you see everybody, you go, yeah, I'm not built for this.
01:28:35.000 Yeah.
01:28:36.000 I'm a hobbyist.
01:28:37.000 These guys are lifers.
01:28:39.000 You have to have the most insane dedication, I think, for any athletic endeavor.
01:28:45.000 I think below 40, and I would have gone and trained with them, but I didn't know them then, so...
01:28:49.000 Well, it's just a weird thing to dabble in.
01:28:51.000 Like, dabbling in MMA, you really can't do it.
01:28:55.000 You have to be...
01:28:56.000 Unless you're some freak athlete.
01:28:58.000 There's always exceptions. 0.99
01:29:00.000 There's always people that just have ridiculous...
01:29:01.000 Like, apparently, that's what John Jones was for the longest time before he moved to Albuquerque.
01:29:06.000 He would take time off and go back to New York and, you know, train some out there, but not train with anybody like the people he's training with, you know, before his fights.
01:29:15.000 Everybody's out there in Albuquerque now training out there.
01:29:17.000 Yeah.
01:29:18.000 Well, he moved there.
01:29:19.000 And then once he moved there, I mean, I think everything went up to the next level. 0.98
01:29:22.000 But he was a guy that could take all that time off, come back and still fuck everybody up. 0.99
01:29:27.000 Just a freak athlete. 0.97
01:29:29.000 Is he coming back?
01:29:30.000 Talented as well.
01:29:30.000 Did they lift his ban?
01:29:32.000 I don't know, man.
01:29:33.000 I don't think they sentenced him.
01:29:35.000 I don't know if he got sentenced. 0.99
01:29:37.000 They sentenced Connor $150,000 for a fucking water bottle. 0.99
01:29:41.000 Yeah, that seemed a little excessive. 0.99
01:29:42.000 Yeah, a tiny bit, huh?
01:29:43.000 Why'd they do that?
01:29:44.000 It's not like he's a habitual bottle thrower that, you know, like, we are finally punishing you for this.
01:29:49.000 Yeah, I'm sick of all that bottle throwing, bro. 1.00
01:29:53.000 It is a stupid thing to do, though. 0.99
01:29:55.000 I mean, come on, do you really think he was gonna hit him? 1.00
01:29:59.000 You know?
01:30:00.000 It's too far away, it wasn't...
01:30:01.000 I thought it was just hype for the fight, you know?
01:30:03.000 Yeah, it is just hype for the fight. 0.99
01:30:04.000 It's not like he threw a glass bottle, he threw a fucking water bottle. 0.97
01:30:06.000 He refuses to fight in Las Vegas after a $150,000 fine. 0.98
01:30:10.000 That's fair enough.
01:30:11.000 Well, it's a good thing to get the Vegas people to recognize there's consequences to this, but the UFC is so big right now, they sell out no matter who's fighting.
01:30:22.000 Yeah, these 50 hours of community service.
01:30:25.000 Wow, 50 hours is a real week.
01:30:27.000 It's a week worth of work. 0.99
01:30:29.000 What the fuck's he got to do? 0.99
01:30:31.000 Yeah, I don't know. 1.00
01:30:32.000 That's fucking ridiculous. 1.00
01:30:33.000 Well, you know, they're flexing. 1.00
01:30:35.000 People, they like flexing.
01:30:36.000 They really shouldn't have thrown water bottles at each other or monster energy drinks or whatever they did. 1.00
01:30:41.000 That shit's stupid. 1.00
01:30:42.000 You're going to fight eventually and throw things at each other. 1.00
01:30:45.000 You know, you get a little amped up.
01:30:47.000 They're young kids, you know?
01:30:49.000 But ultimately, I think the $150,000 fine is worth it for them.
01:30:53.000 The amount of money that they all made, that everybody made.
01:30:56.000 So the government, the athletic commission gets to step in, slap them a little bit, take a little cash, make a stink out of it.
01:31:06.000 They get to protest it.
01:31:07.000 But the fact is that that press conference where he threw that water bottle at Nate Diaz is probably worth $400,000.
01:31:15.000 As far as profit.
01:31:16.000 Right.
01:31:17.000 You know, how many more people got hyped up for it?
01:31:19.000 People love a fight at a press conference.
01:31:21.000 They love when someone throws...
01:31:22.000 Don't do it, folks.
01:31:23.000 If you're listening, Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier, that was one of the reasons why that fight became such a big deal.
01:31:28.000 Because at the face-off...
01:31:29.000 But did they have to pay any fines after that? 1.00
01:31:30.000 Fuck yeah, they did. 1.00
01:31:32.000 Yeah, they did. 1.00
01:31:33.000 I don't know how much they paid.
01:31:34.000 Well, maybe that's what the problem is.
01:31:35.000 Maybe they want to discourage anybody from doing this further.
01:31:38.000 Maybe they want to say, look...
01:31:39.000 It's as old as any fight game is.
01:31:42.000 And it's also real.
01:31:43.000 Right. 0.98
01:31:43.000 The John Jones one in particular was fucking real. 0.98
01:31:47.000 When Daniel put his hand on John's neck and pushed him back, John was like, fuck that. 0.99
01:31:52.000 That's just not happening. 1.00
01:31:54.000 He didn't give a shit if there was a million people around. 0.99
01:31:56.000 He was only fined $50,000. 0.98
01:31:58.000 So John was fined $50,000 and was ordered to complete 40 hours of community service, and Cormier was fined $9,000 in order to complete 20 hours of community service.
01:32:08.000 So they made a distinction that Cormier was less guilty than John.
01:32:14.000 But Cormier touched him first.
01:32:17.000 Did he?
01:32:18.000 Yeah, he grabbed his neck and pushed him back because John got face to face with him and touched faces with him.
01:32:23.000 The fines constituted 10% of each fighter's respective purse for the January 3rd fight.
01:32:29.000 Wow, does that even make sense?
01:32:32.000 That's how little they made?
01:32:33.000 Does that really make sense?
01:32:36.000 90 grand, really?
01:32:37.000 For the title fight?
01:32:39.000 That sounds crazy.
01:32:40.000 I don't know what their deal is because they get paid and then they have like they have like a reported pay and then they have a different pay like percentage of pay-per-view and a bunch of different stuff.
01:32:51.000 But they always show it in the papers.
01:32:52.000 They don't show locker room bonuses.
01:32:54.000 I don't know what that means.
01:32:55.000 They do show that.
01:32:56.000 Don't get mad at me.
01:32:57.000 They show it where?
01:32:57.000 Every time I go to Yahoo News it tells you the whole purse breakdowns for everybody.
01:33:03.000 And then the bonus for the nightly bonus and the percentage bonus.
01:33:06.000 No, they do performance of the night bonuses that make that public, but they also do some weird locker room bonus thing.
01:33:12.000 Oh, I don't know about that. 0.98
01:33:13.000 I don't know what the fuck that's all about. 0.97
01:33:16.000 What did they just find? 0.99
01:33:17.000 It's a private company is the point.
01:33:18.000 Didn't they just find Roy as well?
01:33:20.000 Yeah, they're gonna find him.
01:33:22.000 What did they say?
01:33:22.000 What did you just put up?
01:33:24.000 As Jones' attorney was arguing that they shouldn't be paying off a percentage of their purses, and Cormier is scheduled to make a base pay of 90 for the fight and also a possible 90,000 win bonus.
01:33:36.000 Hmm.
01:33:37.000 It just seems like a really low amount.
01:33:39.000 It feels like that's not right.
01:33:42.000 It's 10%.
01:33:42.000 I know it is so low to be fighting for the world title.
01:33:45.000 It seems wrong.
01:33:47.000 I mean, it seems incorrect.
01:33:49.000 It seems wrong, too, right?
01:33:51.000 It's always seemed wrong to me.
01:33:53.000 At the highest levels, those guys are making some serious cash now.
01:33:57.000 What's interesting is how many people are going to reach that level.
01:34:00.000 And what you're seeing is a lot of people that are trying to sort of generate public interest the same way Conor's done.
01:34:06.000 So there's like guys who really never really trash talked before who are really into trash talking now.
01:34:11.000 Yeah, they're not good at it either.
01:34:12.000 It's awkward and it's uncomfortable.
01:34:14.000 And here's the thing is, if you're a Conor McGregor and it comes natural and that's what you do, that's one thing.
01:34:21.000 But if you're like...
01:34:29.000 I mean, Nate is what Nate is.
01:34:41.000 Like, at the very best, they're two guys who want to compete and test themselves against each other at the very highest level, right?
01:34:51.000 And when we think of a martial artist, we don't think of some dude who's insulting someone and spitting at them and throwing water bottles.
01:34:59.000 Yeah, I mean, they're trying to take the thug aspect out of it, which is fair.
01:35:03.000 Because, you know, when you think back to it, it was always Bruce Lee, everybody respecting and bowing.
01:35:07.000 Mm-hmm.
01:35:09.000 Now it's just a lot of meatheads who know how to fight. 0.96
01:35:13.000 There's definitely that too, but to achieve the level of a world-class level, you have to have so much control over who you are. 0.89
01:35:21.000 You have to be able to figure out where all your personality pitfalls are and soothe out all the bullshit in your life and concentrate on the work.
01:35:31.000 It's such a weird sport, man.
01:35:35.000 There's no sport that carries the consequences of loss like MMA does.
01:35:42.000 Boxing as well, I would say.
01:35:43.000 Boxing's pretty close.
01:35:44.000 But MMA, like...
01:35:46.000 I think in MMA you can have a loss and still come back and it doesn't affect you that much.
01:35:55.000 You think it does in boxing? 0.98
01:35:56.000 In boxing, because, you know, it's so fucking shady in boxing. 0.97
01:36:00.000 Oh, he lost. 0.98
01:36:01.000 No good.
01:36:01.000 We need somebody else.
01:36:04.000 An undefeated record in boxing means a lot more than it does in MMA. Well, there's only been a few, right?
01:36:10.000 Right.
01:36:11.000 That's what everybody strives for.
01:36:13.000 They strive for that Gernati Golovkin, you know, perfect, undefeated record as they go into the big fight, you know?
01:36:22.000 But that didn't harm Canelo.
01:36:24.000 I think Canelo's stock rose in the Floyd Mayweather fight.
01:36:27.000 Yeah, because he was so young.
01:36:29.000 And I was at that fight, as a matter of fact, and I think that Floyd could have stopped Canelo in that fight if he really wanted to.
01:36:36.000 You think so?
01:36:37.000 Yeah, he was just hitting him at will.
01:36:39.000 And you could see Canelo going back.
01:36:41.000 I mean, all he had to do was just put a little bit more pressure on him.
01:36:43.000 But I think Floyd, being somewhat compassionate, was like, if I stop this kid, it might ruin his career.
01:36:50.000 Wow, you really think that?
01:36:51.000 I think that.
01:36:52.000 Wow, that's an interesting way of looking at it.
01:36:54.000 I didn't think so.
01:36:55.000 I thought he's not taking any chances.
01:36:58.000 He's boxing smart.
01:36:59.000 And Canelo can still pop.
01:37:01.000 And he carries that pop late into the fight.
01:37:04.000 And he's dangerous.
01:37:05.000 So if Floyd opened up...
01:37:06.000 To try to really hurt him and stop him, he ran the risk of being countered.
01:37:11.000 Canelo's a master.
01:37:13.000 Canelo's not as fast as Floyd, but his timing's really good.
01:37:16.000 It is, but at that time he was still very green.
01:37:19.000 And Floyd really was in the zone in that fight.
01:37:22.000 He was just hitting him, pop, pop, pop, pop.
01:37:25.000 And then he would crank a right hand on him.
01:37:27.000 You see Canelo go back a little bit.
01:37:29.000 I think Canelo's chin's a little overrated.
01:37:32.000 Really?
01:37:32.000 We saw that when...
01:37:34.000 Who the fuck knocked him down in the first or second round in that one fight? 0.98
01:37:38.000 Yeah, somebody knocked him down fairly recently, right? 0.99
01:37:41.000 No, maybe about...
01:37:42.000 Four or five fights ago?
01:37:44.000 Maybe about three, four years ago.
01:37:47.000 Yeah?
01:37:47.000 It was a younger Canelo then, but...
01:37:50.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?
01:37:51.000 No, I definitely don't think he has a bad chin, but anybody can get knocked down, especially early in your career.
01:37:57.000 Especially aggressive guys.
01:37:58.000 I've also heard that Canelo sparred with Golovkin before.
01:38:02.000 Oh, yeah?
01:38:03.000 Golovkin beat the piss out of him in sparring, and that's why he's...
01:38:06.000 Saying, no thanks.
01:38:07.000 Not interested in that fight.
01:38:09.000 I think he's just trying to sharpen up his skill set before he gets back in there with him.
01:38:13.000 Yeah, man.
01:38:14.000 I don't know how much...
01:38:15.000 I mean, Triple G knocked down Kovalev in sparring.
01:38:17.000 Did he?
01:38:18.000 I had heard that.
01:38:19.000 Yeah, even Kovalev said it.
01:38:20.000 He goes, you know, he hits really hard because I wasn't prepared that day.
01:38:25.000 Wow.
01:38:26.000 He said they're also very good friends as well.
01:38:29.000 Golovkin's a scary guy because he looks like some cute little boy band.
01:38:32.000 Yeah, he does not look like he can.
01:38:33.000 He doesn't even look like he throws with power.
01:38:35.000 He looks like he's from a Russian boy band.
01:38:37.000 Yeah.
01:38:39.000 Right, he's so cute.
01:38:40.000 He's just so goofy, you know?
01:38:41.000 Yeah, he's adorable.
01:38:42.000 And if you look at his body, it's not the scariest body.
01:38:45.000 It's just, he's not chiseled, it's just, he's a thin guy.
01:38:49.000 Yeah, like, you see Rumble knocking people out, you look at his body, you go, well, that makes sense.
01:38:53.000 You know?
01:38:54.000 You see Golovkin knocking people out, and you go, wow, where's all that coming from?
01:38:58.000 I don't, he doesn't have huge legs, he doesn't have particularly big traps, he's...
01:39:02.000 He's got flawless, yeah, look at him there.
01:39:05.000 He's got flawless technique, though.
01:39:07.000 Flawless.
01:39:08.000 He had over 300 amateur fights.
01:39:10.000 Yeah, he's so aggressive, too. 0.99
01:39:13.000 He's so fucking... 0.98
01:39:14.000 He's so aggressive, and he keeps a pace on guys. 0.99
01:39:18.000 That's very difficult to handle.
01:39:20.000 And he also...
01:39:22.000 You know, people go, oh, he's beatable.
01:39:23.000 I'm like, I just think he does things for the fight game.
01:39:27.000 Like, I know I can knock you out.
01:39:29.000 I'm just going to let you...
01:39:30.000 I'm going to extend this a little bit, just to give people a...
01:39:32.000 Yeah, that's all what says it, too.
01:39:33.000 But you see him do it.
01:39:34.000 You can see, like, he basically just, you know...
01:39:36.000 I'm going to make it look like I'm going to get comfortable with you.
01:39:40.000 But you know at any point, he's like, alright, goodnight, goodnight.
01:39:44.000 And he could do it at any point.
01:39:46.000 Well, he definitely, if he wants to risk getting hit, but he bleeds guys. 1.00
01:39:50.000 He saps them. 0.99
01:39:52.000 He's a left hooker to the body. 0.90
01:39:54.000 He stays on guys with combinations, and he's always pressing forward.
01:39:59.000 You never rest with that guy.
01:40:01.000 Yeah, he doesn't move back very often.
01:40:02.000 Yeah, it's a really interesting style.
01:40:05.000 Because another guy who's got a crazy style like that is Vasily Lomachenko.
01:40:09.000 Oh, Lomachenko's probably one of the best fighters in the game right now.
01:40:11.000 It's insane!
01:40:12.000 He's fighting Nicky Walters.
01:40:14.000 Is that his name?
01:40:15.000 I don't know who he's fighting.
01:40:16.000 Nicholas Walters, the Jamaican kid.
01:40:17.000 Yeah.
01:40:18.000 That's going to be a good fight.
01:40:20.000 Well, he's another guy that, like, if you wanted to see beautiful technical movement and defensive movement in boxing...
01:40:28.000 When I was training with Arizo, we would go to train at Robert Garcia's gym.
01:40:32.000 Oh, yeah?
01:40:33.000 And Lomachenko would be there every now and then.
01:40:34.000 There he is.
01:40:35.000 Like, look at this.
01:40:36.000 He's a little guy, too.
01:40:37.000 He's just standing right in front of people, beating them up, and slipping everything they throw at him.
01:40:42.000 God, he's so good.
01:40:44.000 Slick and accurate.
01:40:46.000 Look at that.
01:40:47.000 Moves just enough.
01:40:48.000 Mm-hmm.
01:40:49.000 Look at this, like knowing exactly what's coming and when. 1.00
01:40:53.000 Damn. 0.98
01:40:53.000 He's a really interesting fighter as well because he's so hard to hit, but he's also so aggressive. 0.98
01:40:59.000 It's weird.
01:41:00.000 Like that's not...
01:41:01.000 Hands down.
01:41:02.000 Look at that.
01:41:02.000 Hands down.
01:41:04.000 But he's lost in boxing and pro boxing.
01:41:06.000 Yeah.
01:41:07.000 He lost to that Mexican dude. 1.00
01:41:08.000 Fuck's his name. 1.00
01:41:12.000 Who do you lose to? 1.00
01:41:14.000 Old warrior.
01:41:16.000 Veteran.
01:41:18.000 Solis?
01:41:19.000 Omar Solis?
01:41:21.000 Orlando Solito.
01:41:22.000 Orlando Solito?
01:41:23.000 That's right.
01:41:23.000 Solito's a warrior, too.
01:41:25.000 Yeah, a guy who's been around forever.
01:41:27.000 Yeah, there it is.
01:41:30.000 That's who he's fighting next?
01:41:31.000 Yeah, Nicholas Walters.
01:41:34.000 Well, he's definitely putting some attention on these lighter divisions.
01:41:39.000 But it was a split decision, so I mean, you know, whenever it's a split decision, you could be like, could have gone either way.
01:41:44.000 Yeah, it was apparently a crazy war, and he wants to fight him again.
01:41:47.000 Do you think Hendo Bisping should have been a draw or a split decision? 0.97
01:41:51.000 I think the scoring system sucks. 0.98
01:41:53.000 Yeah. 0.98
01:41:53.000 Some people said that that first round wasn't a 10-8 round. 0.98
01:41:56.000 That was more than a 10-8. 0.98
01:41:58.000 That might have been a fucking 10-7 round. 0.97
01:42:00.000 It's definitely a 10-8 for sure. 0.99
01:42:02.000 Because he knocked him down.
01:42:04.000 He had him rocked.
01:42:05.000 He was standing on top of it.
01:42:07.000 And Bisping survived for sure.
01:42:10.000 I mean, Bisping showed true grit.
01:42:11.000 He got through that.
01:42:12.000 He pressed on.
01:42:13.000 But... 1.00
01:42:14.000 He was in a world of shit, and I think he would admit it. 1.00
01:42:17.000 His face shows it. 1.00
01:42:18.000 I mean, he's all beat up.
01:42:19.000 So that's a significant round.
01:42:21.000 And then there was another round where Hendo knocked him down again, right?
01:42:26.000 Yep.
01:42:26.000 So that was the second or third?
01:42:29.000 It's hard to tell, man.
01:42:30.000 But the other thing that balanced that out was that Bisping was way more active.
01:42:35.000 And you gotta take that into account.
01:42:37.000 It's not like Bisping was landing all those shots and attacking because Hendo let him.
01:42:43.000 No, it's because he was imposing his game on Henderson.
01:42:46.000 The question is like, is Henderson's game more impactful?
01:42:50.000 Well, maybe, but there's less impacts.
01:42:52.000 Okay, well, how about damage?
01:42:54.000 Well, damage-wise, Hendo was way ahead.
01:42:56.000 This guy gave Bisping the first round?
01:42:59.000 Who did?
01:43:00.000 The first judge, White. 1.00
01:43:02.000 No fucking way. 1.00
01:43:04.000 Yeah, look. 0.99
01:43:05.000 The first round is the top row.
01:43:06.000 This is the second round right here.
01:43:08.000 Oh, okay, okay.
01:43:10.000 Look, even that guy gave the first round.
01:43:12.000 These two gave it to him.
01:43:14.000 The only round they gave Henderson was the second round, these two judges.
01:43:18.000 I'm sorry, the first two rounds.
01:43:20.000 He made the first round a 10-9, 10-9, 10-9.
01:43:23.000 They all made it a 10-9.
01:43:24.000 They all made it a 10-9.
01:43:25.000 See, that's not smart.
01:43:27.000 That's not smart.
01:43:28.000 That's not right.
01:43:29.000 The minute there's a knockdown like that, it's got to be a 10-8 round.
01:43:31.000 It's not just a knockdown.
01:43:33.000 A knockdown in boxing makes a 10-10 round, a 10-9 round, or a 10-8 round.
01:43:39.000 If they're evened up, it'll make it a 9-9 round.
01:43:42.000 But for the most part, it's a 10-8 round, right?
01:43:44.000 When a guy knocks a guy down.
01:43:45.000 You knock a guy down.
01:43:46.000 First you won the round, then you got the knockdown.
01:43:48.000 But it's a fact.
01:43:50.000 There's no facts in MMA when it comes to that.
01:43:52.000 There's no, like, one thing that happens where you definitely take a point off.
01:43:56.000 We know that with boxing, right?
01:43:59.000 Well, with MMA, that wasn't just a knockdown. 0.97
01:44:02.000 There was a knockdown and then followed by some fucking ferocious, hair-raising ground and pound. 0.98
01:44:08.000 He got elbowed. 0.99
01:44:09.000 He got punched.
01:44:10.000 He got beat up.
01:44:11.000 He got out of there.
01:44:12.000 His face is bleeding.
01:44:13.000 His eyes closed.
01:44:14.000 You can't say that wasn't close to being stopped.
01:44:17.000 Yeah, you've got to be on the brink of being stopped.
01:44:20.000 So that round I disagree with across the board.
01:44:24.000 And then it's trying to figure out who won the other rounds.
01:44:27.000 There was the other one where Hendo heard him.
01:44:31.000 What round was that?
01:44:32.000 Was it the second round that he heard him again?
01:44:34.000 It must be.
01:44:34.000 I think so, right?
01:44:36.000 Yeah, the second round he heard him again.
01:44:38.000 And then you have to argue about the fourth and the fifth rounds.
01:44:42.000 You have to figure out who won those.
01:44:45.000 It was a close fight, but I could see the way many people thought that Bisping landed more, and even though they weren't as impactful, you have to add that up against the lower volume but more power by Henderson.
01:45:01.000 It's about effectiveness, right?
01:45:04.000 Yeah.
01:45:05.000 Well, Henderson at the end of the fight looked like he just got done sparring.
01:45:08.000 Yeah.
01:45:09.000 And Bisping looked like he just got done with a fight with Henderson.
01:45:12.000 Yeah.
01:45:12.000 You know?
01:45:13.000 That's really what it looked like. 0.99
01:45:15.000 He went through five rounds with one of the toughest fucking guys ever. 0.98
01:45:18.000 The question is, who won it? 0.99
01:45:21.000 I think the system's flawed.
01:45:23.000 I could see under the system that we have today that Bisping won that fight.
01:45:28.000 I could see it by volume.
01:45:29.000 I could see it as a draw.
01:45:31.000 I could see it as a fair draw.
01:45:33.000 I could see that too.
01:45:34.000 And that would have been a very fair outcome.
01:45:37.000 I could see that too.
01:45:37.000 Because I don't think Bisping did enough to beat Dan, and I don't think Dan did enough to beat Bisping.
01:45:43.000 That's a good argument.
01:45:44.000 It's a real good argument.
01:45:46.000 And I think if there's ever a fight where you could say a draw might be justified, that's one.
01:45:50.000 If you look online, like people who think Bisping won versus people who think Henderson won, it's pretty much split down the middle, except English people.
01:45:57.000 Of course.
01:45:59.000 Even American people.
01:46:00.000 There's a lot of American people that think Bisping won.
01:46:02.000 So it's...
01:46:04.000 It's a flawed system.
01:46:06.000 The system of judging is not good.
01:46:08.000 He's got a six-month...
01:46:08.000 What's it called?
01:46:11.000 Medical suspension?
01:46:13.000 Yeah.
01:46:13.000 Yeah.
01:46:14.000 That ain't good for you.
01:46:15.000 That's a long one.
01:46:16.000 Yeah, well, they looked at that fighting and went, settle down.
01:46:19.000 Everybody relax for a little while. 1.00
01:46:21.000 You just went to war with a fucking meat machine. 1.00
01:46:23.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:46:24.000 Like a cleaver.
01:46:25.000 Who was it? 0.99
01:46:25.000 Kung was telling me that Henderson and we're hanging out and Henderson just punched him like as a joke because he hits so fucking hard. 0.99
01:46:34.000 Yeah, I'm sure. 1.00
01:46:35.000 He said it was like, wow, what the fuck, dude? 0.99
01:46:37.000 I don't think it makes sense. 0.99
01:46:38.000 He's just got one of those weird frames.
01:46:41.000 There's some people that just have power that just doesn't make any sense.
01:46:44.000 Yeah.
01:46:45.000 There's like regular power, and then, you know, there's that Henderson thing, that Rumble thing.
01:46:50.000 Yeah, I need to step in and crank the right way in order to get power.
01:46:54.000 I don't have that just, I'm gonna hit you and you're gonna feel power.
01:46:57.000 Do you know who's got it?
01:46:58.000 It's scary, that John Lineker kid, that little guy who used to fight at 125, and now he fought at 135 in his last fight but missed weight and beat John Dodson in a really close decision.
01:47:10.000 But he's got that weird spooky power, even for a little guy.
01:47:15.000 For a 135, it's kind of rare.
01:47:17.000 There's little guys that have some heavy hands.
01:47:19.000 He's got the heaviest.
01:47:20.000 He's the heaviest I've ever seen in this division.
01:47:22.000 He's a clobberer. 1.00
01:47:24.000 He just gets guys up against the cage and just clobbers him.
01:47:27.000 And it's one of those things where when they feel the power the first time, you can see it in their eyes. 0.99
01:47:31.000 They're like, holy shit. 0.99
01:47:32.000 It's like when Golovkin hits somebody. 1.00
01:47:34.000 You see it in their face immediately.
01:47:35.000 I've never seen people wince until they got hit by him.
01:47:37.000 Yeah.
01:47:38.000 He's something special, for sure.
01:47:40.000 People, every time they get hit, you look at their face. 1.00
01:47:41.000 Oh, what the fuck? 0.99
01:47:43.000 Do you know his boxing fights don't have much pay-per-view buys, though? 0.99
01:47:45.000 Yeah, because he's not...
01:47:47.000 That's crazy to me, though.
01:47:49.000 He's so exciting.
01:47:50.000 He's exciting, but he's with Tom Loeffler.
01:47:54.000 Who's Tom Loeffler?
01:47:56.000 That's his promoter. 1.00
01:47:57.000 Does his promoter fuck up? 0.98
01:47:58.000 No, it's just that Tom Loeffler does not have the connections, I think, that Bob Arum or... 0.99
01:48:04.000 Floyd Mayweather.
01:48:06.000 Yeah, what's his name there?
01:48:08.000 Al Heyman has.
01:48:09.000 Well, Golden Boy, right?
01:48:11.000 Golden Boy and Oscar De La Hoya and...
01:48:16.000 But Al Heyman's the guy really who's got all the connects.
01:48:18.000 And I like how they take in fighters there too.
01:48:21.000 Like Bernard Hopkins is one of the partners over there.
01:48:24.000 And they seem to do a good job.
01:48:28.000 What's a crazy thing to go from being a fighter to being a promoter?
01:48:31.000 Yeah, and then realizing you're making way more money as a promoter.
01:48:34.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.
01:48:35.000 And you're not in the line of fire at all. 1.00
01:48:36.000 You're like, this is bullshit. 0.99
01:48:37.000 I think Hopkins is going to take one more fight, though. 0.99
01:48:39.000 Yeah, I think so.
01:48:41.000 Just to get it out of the system.
01:48:42.000 Bernard is at least 50, right?
01:48:43.000 He's 51 this year now, or next year.
01:48:46.000 That's incredible.
01:48:48.000 Never been out of shape, though.
01:48:49.000 I know.
01:48:50.000 I mean, he's a super, super disciplined guy.
01:48:52.000 It's just amazing that he's willing to do one more fight at this age.
01:48:56.000 And then, of course, being a successful promoter now.
01:49:00.000 You know, you don't leave fighting, fighting, you know.
01:49:03.000 Hopkins vows.
01:49:04.000 That'll be 52nd.
01:49:05.000 I'll fight before my 52nd birthday.
01:49:07.000 It's in January, so he's gonna...
01:49:08.000 How is he gonna do that?
01:49:10.000 Who is he gonna fight?
01:49:11.000 December, somewhere in L.A. Probably at the Forum.
01:49:13.000 In December in L.A.? Dude, we should go.
01:49:16.000 I'm in.
01:49:17.000 It'll be the last time Bernard Hopkins ever fights.
01:49:19.000 We should go.
01:49:20.000 HBO telecast.
01:49:21.000 Dude, we gotta go.
01:49:22.000 Salido-verse.
01:49:23.000 I want to be there for that live.
01:49:25.000 Oh, I was at that Salido, Takashi Mori...
01:49:29.000 Fight.
01:49:29.000 So that's going to be...
01:49:31.000 what date is it?
01:49:33.000 December...
01:49:33.000 I don't know.
01:49:33.000 It doesn't say.
01:49:35.000 I don't know.
01:49:36.000 It could take place at this one.
01:49:38.000 It says it doesn't have a date on it.
01:49:39.000 Okay.
01:49:40.000 No, they're having a rematch again.
01:49:42.000 Who?
01:49:43.000 Salido Takashimura.
01:49:45.000 Oh, really?
01:49:46.000 Wait.
01:49:47.000 I was just at this fight.
01:49:50.000 Orlando Salido, who's the first guy to beat Lomachenko?
01:49:54.000 Yeah, this week, so.
01:49:56.000 October 12th.
01:49:57.000 Interesting.
01:49:58.000 Well, you know, I always look back to when Bernard Hopkins fought Tito Trinidad.
01:50:03.000 Oh, yeah.
01:50:03.000 Remember when he threw the flag down in Puerto Rico and they chased him out of the stadium?
01:50:07.000 Oh, they went crazy. 0.84
01:50:07.000 They wanted to kill him. 0.84
01:50:08.000 And I was like, oh, I think... 0.99
01:50:09.000 I remember that time I was like, Trinidad's gonna knock him out. 1.00
01:50:12.000 I was like, oh, he stopped Trinidad! 0.99
01:50:14.000 He beat the shit out of Trinidad. 1.00
01:50:15.000 He didn't just beat the shit out of him. 1.00
01:50:16.000 He boxed his face off before he beat the shit out of him. 0.99
01:50:19.000 Wasn't it Hopkins? 0.99
01:50:20.000 I think it was Hopkins that...
01:50:23.000 I'm almost sure it was Hopkins.
01:50:25.000 He had a fight.
01:50:27.000 This was in the...
01:50:29.000 Probably the late 90s.
01:50:31.000 The guy somehow got under him and body slammed him. 0.95
01:50:35.000 And he dislocated his shoulder.
01:50:37.000 And they were like, we could stop the fight and you could win by no decision.
01:50:40.000 He goes, nope.
01:50:42.000 He dislocated his right hand, his right shoulder.
01:50:44.000 Hopkins?
01:50:45.000 Yeah.
01:50:46.000 Well, didn't he?
01:50:46.000 No, I don't remember that.
01:50:47.000 I remember one time he got thrown out, he dislocated his shoulder, and they stopped the fight.
01:50:55.000 No.
01:50:55.000 And they stopped the fight because of him getting thrown out of the ring.
01:50:58.000 Maybe he got thrown out of the ring more than once.
01:50:59.000 Yeah, I think this was against Antoine Echols, if I'm not mistaken.
01:51:03.000 Hmm.
01:51:04.000 Well, I knew he got thrown out of the ring against one guy, and he hurt himself.
01:51:07.000 I remember he got his shoulder dislocated, and then he still went next round, and he stopped him with his left hand.
01:51:12.000 Really?
01:51:12.000 Yeah.
01:51:13.000 Man, I don't remember that at all.
01:51:14.000 It might not have been Hopkins, but I remember this one.
01:51:17.000 Was it Chad Dawson?
01:51:19.000 Did Chad Dawson do that?
01:51:20.000 Against...
01:51:21.000 No, no, it was definitely not Chad.
01:51:24.000 Chad Dawson's another guy.
01:51:27.000 Well, whoever it was.
01:51:29.000 I remember Antoine Echols being in the mix, and they were spelled A-N-T-W. Hopkins shoulder hurt after Dawson throws him down, fight ends in the second.
01:51:40.000 Yeah.
01:51:41.000 That's what it is.
01:51:43.000 Yeah, it was Chad Dawson.
01:51:45.000 but i feel like no see it said it was chad dawson but it was it he'd also had this happen before before this fight because chad dawson was that was fairly recently it was like in the later the late 90s yeah exactly right when hopkins was not uh dislocated yeah it was just if you just google hopkins record yeah This is not an exciting podcast to listen to.
01:52:15.000 I apologize, guys.
01:52:16.000 While we're Googling Bernard Hopkins' record so we can remember a name.
01:52:19.000 By the time I shit the bed on the Joe Rogan experience?
01:52:21.000 I don't think it was a loss. 0.62
01:52:23.000 I think it was a victory.
01:52:25.000 Did he fight Antoine Echols?
01:52:27.000 See if you find...
01:52:28.000 Right there.
01:52:29.000 Right down there.
01:52:30.000 Antoine Echols.
01:52:31.000 TKO 11. Maybe that was the second fight?
01:52:35.000 Because whoever threw him down...
01:52:38.000 He fought him twice. 1.00
01:52:39.000 Yeah, whoever threw him down, he came back and beat their ass. 1.00
01:52:44.000 Do you see it? 1.00
01:52:46.000 What's that?
01:52:46.000 I'm gonna look it up a different way.
01:52:48.000 Okay.
01:52:49.000 Jamie's gonna look it up a different way.
01:52:51.000 I remember seeing it on ESPN. Canelo and Gennady Golovkin, though, would break the bank.
01:52:57.000 Oh, yeah.
01:52:57.000 Maybe Golovkin needs to get, like, one more big-ass fight.
01:53:02.000 He's supposed to be fighting Danny Jacobs.
01:53:03.000 Oh, really?
01:53:04.000 In December.
01:53:05.000 There was a purse bid just now.
01:53:07.000 Oh, yeah?
01:53:08.000 Purse bid.
01:53:08.000 I like it.
01:53:09.000 Look at you.
01:53:10.000 You're deep in the boxing and the DJ world.
01:53:13.000 You know how I get down, Joe.
01:53:14.000 You do get down.
01:53:15.000 I do get down, buddy.
01:53:16.000 Yeah.
01:53:19.000 What other good fights are happening right now in boxing?
01:53:21.000 Oh, Andre Ward.
01:53:23.000 Andre Ward Kovalev.
01:53:24.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:53:25.000 And I'm in fucking Toronto that night. 1.00
01:53:27.000 God damn it. 1.00
01:53:28.000 You want to be there live? 1.00
01:53:29.000 I did not think that one through.
01:53:30.000 Is that one in Vegas?
01:53:31.000 Yeah, T-Mobile, I believe.
01:53:33.000 Ooh, that's a good fight.
01:53:35.000 I'm going with Kovalev on that.
01:53:36.000 It's a good fight.
01:53:37.000 It's a very good fight.
01:53:38.000 I don't think Andre has the power to hurt Kovalev.
01:53:41.000 Do you think it's because he's going up to 75?
01:53:43.000 Because he's at 175, and to me, he has not looked that impressive at 175. We only had one fight at 175, right?
01:53:49.000 Two.
01:53:50.000 Two?
01:53:50.000 Yeah, two?
01:53:51.000 Oh, I thought he just had one.
01:53:52.000 And, uh, he doesn't hit very hard.
01:53:54.000 Who did he fight at 175 before that?
01:53:56.000 He fought a Dominican guy.
01:53:58.000 I was at that fight, and that was in, uh, like in Ontario, California.
01:54:04.000 And, uh, Maybe that was at 168, but whatever it was.
01:54:08.000 He's fought twice now.
01:54:10.000 Yeah, it's hard when a guy has to figure out what to do to make the big bucks.
01:54:15.000 You've got to take a chance, and Andre's dominating at 68. He's just such a good boxer, man.
01:54:21.000 Such a smart dude. 0.92
01:54:22.000 You know he fought a big portion of his career with a fucked up shoulder? 0.97
01:54:26.000 I did not know that. 0.95
01:54:27.000 Yeah, he had to get shoulder surgery. 0.95
01:54:29.000 I thought he had a fucked up eye or something. 0.88
01:54:30.000 I don't know about that. 0.98
01:54:32.000 It might have been the shoulder I was getting mixed up with his eye.
01:54:34.000 Maybe.
01:54:35.000 But he finally had shoulder surgery like two years ago.
01:54:38.000 He had to take almost like a full year off.
01:54:41.000 Yeah, he took a lot of time off.
01:54:43.000 Shoulder surgery is like that.
01:54:45.000 He's had a lot of years off.
01:54:47.000 He keeps getting too much time off as far as I'm concerned.
01:54:51.000 Look at you.
01:54:51.000 You're like a mean boss.
01:54:53.000 I am.
01:54:53.000 As far as I'm concerned.
01:54:55.000 As far as I'm concerned, kid.
01:54:56.000 If you're at the prime of your career, you need to be in the prime of your career. 0.97
01:55:00.000 Yeah, but if you've got a jack shoulder, it's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. 0.96
01:55:03.000 True. 0.96
01:55:03.000 A little rotator cuff never hurt nobody. 0.96
01:55:06.000 I mean, it hurt a lot of people.
01:55:08.000 Boxers, it's really common they get shoulder injuries.
01:55:12.000 Probably from overextending?
01:55:14.000 From a lot of things.
01:55:15.000 Just sparring.
01:55:17.000 You know, I know guys that have had their biceps torn off because they were sparring and they threw a punch and someone blocked the punch, like an arm got in the way, and just the full extension being caught like halfway and then pop!
01:55:29.000 They get a torn bicep tendon.
01:55:31.000 And that's why I don't have biceps, guys.
01:55:34.000 Well, if you do a lot of curls, you really should be careful because you can break that thing and when it breaks, it pulls up and knots.
01:55:42.000 You've never seen Matt Serra's arm?
01:55:44.000 No.
01:55:44.000 Matt Serra's got one bicep that broke and then curled up.
01:55:48.000 They can't fix it?
01:55:49.000 Well, they could have right after it happened.
01:55:52.000 Like if you go to the hospital right after it happened, they reattach it and then you could fix it.
01:55:57.000 It's like an Achilles tear, almost.
01:55:59.000 Why?
01:56:01.000 When your Achilles snaps, doesn't your ankle just go loose like that?
01:56:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:56:04.000 Kind of snaps up like a rubber band?
01:56:06.000 Well, it's like that in a way, but apparently it just looks bad.
01:56:10.000 Like it pulls up and it hangs up there and it looks bad, but it doesn't really affect the movement of your arm, so a lot of guys don't do anything about it.
01:56:16.000 They just...
01:56:17.000 They don't even get it fixed.
01:56:18.000 They just leave it with that weird lump in it.
01:56:20.000 Doesn't it hurt in some level?
01:56:23.000 No, I guess it doesn't.
01:56:25.000 Not according to Matt Serra, you know?
01:56:27.000 Well, he's the Terra.
01:56:28.000 He is the Terra. 0.96
01:56:31.000 But, you know, there's not a goddamn thing in the world that beats your body up more than MMA. And maybe football. 0.98
01:56:38.000 Between those two things.
01:56:39.000 I would much rather watch MMA. Football, I don't understand football on any day.
01:56:43.000 It's because you're Canadian. 0.73
01:56:44.000 You're lucky you're here.
01:56:45.000 We're lucky we let you in.
01:56:46.000 I know.
01:56:47.000 You know, I really...
01:56:48.000 Where's the...
01:56:48.000 Oh.
01:56:49.000 Where is it?
01:56:49.000 Not Sarah.
01:56:51.000 Yeah, you can see he's like missing a chunk of his arm.
01:56:54.000 His bicep, his right bicep, it's like the front part of it from the elbow towards the shoulders.
01:57:01.000 Yeah, just got a chunk torn out of it.
01:57:04.000 But it doesn't affect his movement.
01:57:06.000 You know, it's weird.
01:57:08.000 It just looks odd.
01:57:10.000 But that's one that breaks. 0.99
01:57:14.000 The human body is very fucking soft when it comes to the, you see the durability of animals, and you see how fucking goddamn flimsy we are, Russell Peters. 0.99
01:57:25.000 Yeah, they've got it figured out. 0.99
01:57:27.000 Animals do.
01:57:28.000 Yeah.
01:57:30.000 Yeah, they figured it out.
01:57:31.000 They know exactly how to stay in their lane.
01:57:34.000 Yes, they definitely do that.
01:57:36.000 Humans are always like, well...
01:57:38.000 There's no renaissance animals. 1.00
01:57:41.000 There should be.
01:57:43.000 That know everything.
01:57:44.000 You know, they can fly.
01:57:46.000 An owl.
01:57:46.000 They know how to swim underwater.
01:57:48.000 Would be the renaissance animal. 1.00
01:57:49.000 Yeah.
01:57:50.000 Give a hoot. 1.00
01:57:51.000 Owls are fucking creeps, man. 1.00
01:57:52.000 I remember when I first moved to California. 1.00
01:57:54.000 They're very violent.
01:57:55.000 They're super violent. 0.82
01:57:56.000 Well, they're predators.
01:57:57.000 Yeah.
01:57:58.000 When I first moved to California, I saw an owl that was flying off with a rabbit and dropped the rabbit.
01:58:05.000 He had killed this rabbit, I guess, real close to the road.
01:58:09.000 And as I was driving, he tried to fly off with the rabbit and then decided, fuck this, I'm not getting away fast enough, and just dropped the rabbit and then flew. 0.99
01:58:19.000 I see him fly off with the rabbit in his talons and then go fuck this and just release it and then boom the rabbit hits the ground. 0.98
01:58:27.000 So I get out of my car and look at the rabbit and this rabbit's just eviscerated. 0.97
01:58:31.000 He's just torn its guts out and I'm sitting there going like, this is not what I think of when I think of an owl.
01:58:39.000 Yeah.
01:58:41.000 I think, you know, I guess I knew they ate rats and rodents and stuff like that, but I don't think they literally will take out something that's their size.
01:58:50.000 Oh, they don't play.
01:58:51.000 They got big old talons on them, that's why.
01:58:54.000 Yeah.
01:58:55.000 And a bad attitude. 1.00
01:58:57.000 Yeah, they're fucking cunts. 1.00
01:58:58.000 I see hawks circling my backyard a lot lately. 1.00
01:59:01.000 Oh yeah.
01:59:01.000 Because I have a puppy.
01:59:02.000 Oh no.
01:59:05.000 So what we do is when we see...
01:59:06.000 It starts with one.
01:59:08.000 Then you see two.
01:59:09.000 Then you see three and four.
01:59:10.000 Jesus.
01:59:11.000 So I get my assistant to take out his drone and he flies it up and scares him away.
01:59:14.000 Oh, that's a good move.
01:59:16.000 That's a very good move. 1.00
01:59:18.000 Aha, you fuckers. 1.00
01:59:20.000 We're combating you. 1.00
01:59:21.000 But they will eat a puppy, man.
01:59:22.000 Have you seen these...
01:59:23.000 What is this?
01:59:24.000 Mococks, I think? 1.00
01:59:25.000 Hey, I'm not looking at your cock. 1.00
01:59:27.000 Monkey, deer, mountain. 0.98
01:59:28.000 There's this small island in Japan where they have this relationship, I guess, where the monkeys, they ride the deer like humans would ride a horse. 1.00
01:59:36.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
01:59:37.000 This isn't real, Jack. 1.00
01:59:38.000 It definitely is.
01:59:39.000 It's a little humping it right now, but this is definitely real.
01:59:42.000 I looked it up.
01:59:42.000 They...
01:59:44.000 This might not be riding around so much, but they'll pick little ticks and shit off them, parasites, and they eat them. 1.00
01:59:50.000 They have this weird relationship where they allow it to happen. 0.99
01:59:53.000 They let them ride them around.
01:59:55.000 They're like the groomers for the deer.
01:59:56.000 Dude, this is crazy.
01:59:58.000 That's just macaque, my deer.
01:59:59.000 That's amazing.
02:00:02.000 Wow.
02:00:03.000 So what we're reading is monkey, or watching rather, monkey deer mounting in Japanese macaques.
02:00:09.000 I can't believe this, man.
02:00:11.000 I thought this was fake.
02:00:12.000 This is incredible.
02:00:15.000 So, um...
02:00:16.000 Favorite rapper, Tupac McCock. 1.00
02:00:18.000 Oh, you motherfucker. 1.00
02:00:19.000 How dare you? 1.00
02:00:21.000 He's grooming the deer.
02:00:24.000 There's another one that I saw.
02:00:27.000 Um...
02:00:27.000 Goddammit, now I forget what it was.
02:00:29.000 I was just gonna... 1.00
02:00:30.000 Shit. 1.00
02:00:31.000 Another one that had to do with monkeys. 1.00
02:00:33.000 Oh, baboons.
02:00:35.000 Baboons have pet dogs.
02:00:37.000 Mm-hmm.
02:00:38.000 I've not seen this.
02:00:39.000 Yeah, they get dogs as puppies, they raise them, and they keep them around as security.
02:00:45.000 And the dogs bark if anything comes near. 1.00
02:00:48.000 They raise them like a fucking pet. 1.00
02:00:50.000 Is there wild? 1.00
02:00:50.000 Yes. 1.00
02:00:51.000 Dude, it's crazy.
02:00:52.000 Is there pictures, videos of this?
02:00:53.000 Yeah, there's a video of it.
02:00:54.000 It's nuts.
02:00:56.000 How smart are these folks? 0.90
02:00:57.000 The dog doesn't start thinking it's a chimpanzee or anything?
02:01:00.000 The dog acts like a dog.
02:01:02.000 Like, look at this.
02:01:05.000 He's got him, he's like holding on to the puppy.
02:01:08.000 Is there audio to this?
02:01:11.000 Well, the video is entitled...
02:01:14.000 See, he's got the little puppies holding on to it.
02:01:17.000 Oh, man, he's rough in the way he drags that dog around. 1.00
02:01:20.000 Holy shit. 1.00
02:01:20.000 It's called baboons, kidnap and raise feral dogs as pets. 1.00
02:01:24.000 Yeah.
02:01:25.000 But they literally raise them as pets.
02:01:27.000 They beat them down, they keep them around, they're holding on to them.
02:01:31.000 Look, he's sitting on them and holding it in place.
02:01:35.000 Oh, it's fighting against him?
02:01:36.000 It bites against him?
02:01:38.000 So he's, like, picking it up and forcing it to the ground.
02:01:41.000 He's holding on to its tail, and he drags it around like a toy.
02:01:47.000 Like, he has no concern.
02:01:49.000 They're such a weird animal, man. 1.00
02:01:50.000 That looks like a lion fucked a person. 1.00
02:01:54.000 You know? 1.00
02:01:55.000 Doesn't it?
02:01:56.000 They're so weird. 1.00
02:01:58.000 I mean, a baboon is one of the weirdest fucking animals you'll ever see. 0.99
02:02:02.000 That looks like us in a transitional stage in the evolution chart. 0.99
02:02:06.000 Almost like a branch, right?
02:02:08.000 One went left, one went right.
02:02:10.000 Yeah.
02:02:11.000 Because they have that lion tail and that mane in the front.
02:02:14.000 Like, it's a strange, strange appearance.
02:02:19.000 I found this one dude's page.
02:02:21.000 I don't know.
02:02:22.000 His page is all in Arabic. 0.85
02:02:24.000 I don't know what it says, but every day is a new animal fucking up of an animal video. 0.84
02:02:31.000 Like, every day. 0.98
02:02:33.000 It's overwhelming following them.
02:02:35.000 See translation right there.
02:02:37.000 Yeah, I don't want to know.
02:02:38.000 I don't even want to know what they're saying.
02:02:39.000 I mean, the translations are always off so bad, it's actually kind of funny.
02:02:43.000 Oh, yeah?
02:02:44.000 Oh, yeah.
02:02:44.000 They're never dead on.
02:02:48.000 I'm trying to think of what the fuck this dude's name is, but I'll figure it out. 0.97
02:02:54.000 I'll put it up on Instagram later. 0.99
02:02:55.000 But his page is on what the other day was these hyenas tearing apart this, it was like a wildebeest, like guts first.
02:03:06.000 This thing's trying to get away and get out of the water and this hyena is just ripping it apart, guts first.
02:03:10.000 Hyenas are savage. 1.00
02:03:11.000 Oh, it's so hard to watch.
02:03:13.000 I can't watch that stuff.
02:03:15.000 We're so soft, Russell Peters.
02:03:17.000 We are.
02:03:17.000 Living here in America.
02:03:18.000 Because we care.
02:03:18.000 We have too much compassion.
02:03:20.000 Well, it's not just that we have too much compassion.
02:03:22.000 I'm saying that it's so easy for us to get by.
02:03:24.000 Yeah.
02:03:24.000 We don't have to worry about a hyena getting us.
02:03:28.000 My dad grew up in the jungle.
02:03:30.000 What jungle?
02:03:30.000 In India.
02:03:31.000 Oh, Jesus.
02:03:32.000 Yeah.
02:03:32.000 So literally, he hunted tigers, leopards, wild boar.
02:03:39.000 Jesus Christ.
02:03:40.000 Yeah.
02:03:41.000 Your dad did that?
02:03:43.000 Dad a lot.
02:03:43.000 Yep.
02:03:43.000 He was born in 1925. So, you know, back then it was...
02:03:47.000 It's not like he would hunt them for fun.
02:03:49.000 Right.
02:03:50.000 But yeah, he was a big game hunter.
02:03:52.000 Wow.
02:03:53.000 We have a tiger skin with a head. 1.00
02:03:55.000 Holy shit. 1.00
02:03:56.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:03:57.000 This last one that he shot was in the 60s when it was already banned.
02:04:01.000 You weren't allowed to shoot tigers then.
02:04:02.000 But this man-eater went to a village...
02:04:07.000 And was killing people in the village.
02:04:09.000 So they had asked my dad to, can you go get this?
02:04:12.000 Can you go?
02:04:13.000 We know your family's a bunch of hunters.
02:04:15.000 Can you go get this tiger for us?
02:04:17.000 And he's like, what's in it for me?
02:04:18.000 And they were like, we'll give you $15.
02:04:21.000 Like, that was a lot.
02:04:22.000 Like, it was the equivalent to that.
02:04:25.000 Somebody's saying to you today, I'll give you $15.
02:04:28.000 Whoa.
02:04:29.000 And he said, well, how about you keep your money?
02:04:31.000 I get to keep the skin.
02:04:33.000 So they made, like, an exemption?
02:04:35.000 They were like, yeah.
02:04:36.000 Because he's getting a man-eater.
02:04:37.000 It wasn't like he was just randomly killing a tiger.
02:04:39.000 Boy, that's a monster movie.
02:04:42.000 I'll tell you exactly how he did it.
02:04:43.000 I remember the story clearly.
02:04:45.000 He went to where there was two trees, side by side.
02:04:48.000 So he built up a little fort in this one tree.
02:04:51.000 And then he tied a bull, a blue ox, around the other tree.
02:04:56.000 And then he went and sat up in the tree at around 5, 6 o'clock in the evening.
02:05:02.000 And he sat there reading magazines and stuff.
02:05:05.000 And then he knew when the night falls that the tiger would come out.
02:05:10.000 And then as soon as the bull started going crazy and running around the tree a lot because he knew he was scared...
02:05:15.000 My dad had a shotgun with him, a.308, I think.
02:05:20.000 And he had his flashlight, and the minute his flashlight touched the barrel of the gun, it made a metal noise.
02:05:28.000 And then as soon as he did that, the tiger looked up at him.
02:05:31.000 And instead of going for the ox, leaped straight at my dad in the tree.
02:05:35.000 Oh my god.
02:05:36.000 And my dad just fumbled and shot and hit him right here in the throat.
02:05:40.000 Oh my god.
02:05:41.000 And the tiger flipped back.
02:05:42.000 And then he flashed a flashlight on his eyes to see if they were still glossy.
02:05:47.000 And then he put another shot at him just for safety.
02:05:50.000 Whoa.
02:05:52.000 And we have that skin to this day. 1.00
02:05:54.000 Holy shit, your dad was a gangster. 1.00
02:05:56.000 It's at my house. 1.00
02:05:57.000 Not at my house.
02:05:59.000 We have it in Canada.
02:06:00.000 And I want to bring it here.
02:06:04.000 But I don't know if we'll be able to...
02:06:06.000 I don't think you will.
02:06:07.000 Well, you might be able to get some sort of historical exemption.
02:06:10.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't know what paperwork I need for it.
02:06:13.000 It's hard to prove, you know what I mean?
02:06:14.000 That seems like, hmm, maybe you'd have to...
02:06:18.000 I think what happens when they find those things and they're illegal is they have to donate them to museums.
02:06:23.000 Yeah, see, I don't want to lose that.
02:06:25.000 That's family heirloom.
02:06:26.000 Because I remember reading about someone getting arrested.
02:06:30.000 It was a long time ago.
02:06:31.000 I want to say it was like the 70s or the 80s.
02:06:34.000 Someone got arrested with tiger skins.
02:06:37.000 They had some tiger skins that were obtained.
02:06:42.000 One of them was obtained illegally.
02:06:44.000 Right.
02:06:45.000 You know, but it was illegally in like 1937 when they shot it and this person had had a couple of them now They were in trouble because when that happens if someone sells you one, it's Apparently your responsibility since it's a bad item.
02:07:01.000 Yeah to bring you have to bring it to like Somewhere and then they have to post it or something.
02:07:06.000 It's like you're not allowed to possess it.
02:07:08.000 So if you do possess it you could be in big trouble and This was all properly gotten and properly imported into Canada.
02:07:18.000 What part of India did this take place?
02:07:21.000 It's a small railway village called Buranpur.
02:07:25.000 It's kind of in the middle of the country.
02:07:27.000 Is that anywhere near the Sundarbans?
02:07:29.000 I cannot confirm nor deny that.
02:07:32.000 That was the subject of this documentary that I saw where they were talking about the Sundarbans is a very unusual section of the river system in India because it's very brackish for a long period of time.
02:07:47.000 And these animals apparently drink the water, and the water has a high salt content, and it's super irritable to the tigers.
02:07:55.000 And he thinks they make, it's one of the theories, they make the tigers more aggressive because they're just in pain all the time from drinking salty water.
02:08:04.000 And they've killed some insane amount of people over the last couple hundred years.
02:08:09.000 I think it's somewhere in the neighborhood of 200 plus thousand people have been killed by tigers.
02:08:15.000 In the last couple hundred years in this area.
02:08:17.000 I remember going there when I was 11 or 12, around that age.
02:08:22.000 And my dad took us, we went to my grandmother's, who still lived out there.
02:08:26.000 And he took us for a walk.
02:08:28.000 We all had to carry guns.
02:08:29.000 I was 11 walking around with a rifle.
02:08:31.000 Oh my God.
02:08:32.000 And everybody had to carry a gun because, you know, he took us to like a river and you could see fresh tiger prints in the mud.
02:08:39.000 Oh! 0.60
02:08:40.000 And he was like, look, see?
02:08:41.000 And you follow the prince and you go, don't.
02:08:43.000 My dad was like, don't go that way.
02:08:45.000 Because that's where he went.
02:08:46.000 So you're going to go the other way now.
02:08:47.000 There's a big tiger sanctuary right next to it.
02:08:50.000 Where Baranpur?
02:08:50.000 Yeah, here's Baranpur.
02:08:52.000 And then this is a, I don't, I can't see it.
02:08:55.000 I'm sure you've seen, oh wow, that's so wild.
02:08:58.000 I've never looked at that like that.
02:09:00.000 That's pretty cool.
02:09:01.000 Can people see this on YouTube?
02:09:03.000 That's all.
02:09:03.000 That's all.
02:09:04.000 I know that.
02:09:05.000 That's pretty dope.
02:09:06.000 I know that area when I was a kid.
02:09:07.000 I'm trying to find a picture of my dad with...
02:09:09.000 We have some of the shots here.
02:09:14.000 Did you see that video from that wild animal park in Beijing?
02:09:18.000 Oh my god, that was awesome.
02:09:19.000 I saw it on your Instagram first. 0.99
02:09:22.000 I was like, what the fuck was this? 0.99
02:09:25.000 Why did you get out of your car? 1.00
02:09:27.000 What makes you think, yeah.
02:09:28.000 People just get mad.
02:09:30.000 Yeah, that's what you wrote.
02:09:31.000 That they were...
02:09:32.000 She was mad and that's why she got out of the car? 0.69
02:09:35.000 She apparently got mad at somebody in the car, I don't know who, but she got out and she survived.
02:09:39.000 Her mom, who got out to chase the tiger away after the tiger pulled her off, the mom got killed. 0.92
02:09:45.000 Oh, so the one that got taken didn't get killed.
02:09:47.000 Yep.
02:09:49.000 Woman mauled in Beijing, tiger attacked to sue.
02:09:52.000 Sue who?
02:09:53.000 Oh my god.
02:09:54.000 The tiger?
02:09:54.000 I'm sure he doesn't have insurance.
02:09:56.000 Oh my god.
02:09:58.000 She's saying she hadn't been fully informed of the dangers and left the vehicle because she was carsick.
02:10:03.000 Well, she was yelling at somebody. 0.93
02:10:04.000 Oh, here we go.
02:10:05.000 We're gonna have to watch it.
02:10:07.000 I see. 1.00
02:10:08.000 She was carsick, bitch. 1.00
02:10:10.000 She was carjacked. 1.00
02:10:13.000 This is so crazy.
02:10:15.000 She gets out.
02:10:16.000 She storms over to the other side. 1.00
02:10:18.000 The other person gets out.
02:10:20.000 And she's arguing.
02:10:21.000 She's like, listen, I'm telling you right now. 1.00
02:10:23.000 You better shut the fuck up, bitch. 1.00
02:10:26.000 Come here. 1.00
02:10:27.000 That tiger just ran out and grabbed her, dude.
02:10:31.000 And then someone else goes out after the tiger.
02:10:35.000 Park Ranger?
02:10:36.000 Yeah, Park Ranger runs in there, and that's all we see.
02:10:39.000 It looked like the tiger went, wow, this is the easiest lunch I've ever had.
02:10:43.000 Tiger probably couldn't help himself.
02:10:45.000 Finally saw something he could jack, and best yet, she wasn't paying attention, so her back was turned.
02:10:50.000 Oh, yeah.
02:10:51.000 You ever see those videos of the tigers, like, creeping up on people when they're sitting with their back to the cage?
02:10:55.000 Oh, it's crazy.
02:10:56.000 They just dive on the back of them.
02:10:57.000 They can't help themselves.
02:10:58.000 That's what they do.
02:10:59.000 They're being tigers.
02:11:00.000 They are being tigers.
02:11:01.000 They're tigers.
02:11:02.000 Too busy being tigers.
02:11:03.000 What are you doing?
02:11:04.000 Checking your tweets?
02:11:05.000 No, I'm trying to find this picture of my dad.
02:11:06.000 Oh, the tiger rug?
02:11:08.000 Yeah.
02:11:10.000 It says you have to sign a piece of, like, a waiver that says you will not get out of your car once you enter the park, but she thought it wasn't that, and no one explained it to her.
02:11:19.000 What does she think she's saying?
02:11:20.000 Oh, no. 1.00
02:11:21.000 So dumb. 1.00
02:11:21.000 She might have not been paying attention and not knowing that there's tigers out there. 1.00
02:11:24.000 I mean, nobody really reads that stuff, but if somebody explains it to you... 0.97
02:11:27.000 How the fuck could they just let you drive around in your own car where they have tigers? 1.00
02:11:30.000 China doesn't give a shit. 1.00
02:11:31.000 No. 1.00
02:11:32.000 That's just such a ridiculous policy. 0.98
02:11:34.000 They would never have that in America. 0.93
02:11:36.000 With the liability insurance that people have to carry over here?
02:11:39.000 In Canada, they have a place called African Lion Safari.
02:11:42.000 When I was a kid, we used to go, and you'd drive through with your own car.
02:11:45.000 And there was, yeah, there was lions.
02:11:48.000 And there was giraffes, and monkeys would jump on your car and fuck up your antenna, and... 0.93
02:11:54.000 There was a place like that in New Jersey that I went to where the monkeys would jump on your car. 0.62
02:11:59.000 Yeah. 0.99
02:11:59.000 Yeah, they'd pull people's windshield wipers off and shit. 0.99
02:12:02.000 Oh yeah, they were really destructive. 0.99
02:12:03.000 But there's a big difference between that and a lion.
02:12:07.000 You guys had lions?
02:12:08.000 It was called African Lion Safari.
02:12:09.000 I don't believe I saw a lion.
02:12:12.000 But I do remember the monkeys fucking up the car.
02:12:14.000 And then my mom telling me recently when I was home that we should take my daughter to go see African Lion Safari. 0.99
02:12:21.000 I'm not going in my fucking car to African Lion Safari. 0.99
02:12:23.000 Are you kidding me? 0.99
02:12:25.000 I saw a bobcat and a bunch of moms or a bunch of babies.
02:12:32.000 Recently.
02:12:32.000 By your place?
02:12:33.000 No, no, no.
02:12:34.000 I was in Tohono Ranch.
02:12:35.000 We were driving down this road and this bobcat and I think, I want to say two or three babies.
02:12:40.000 But I saw it so briefly and I knew that it was a cat.
02:12:43.000 I saw it so briefly and the guys I was with thought it was a cat that in my mind I had seen a cougar I'd seen a small cougar and some cougar puppies.
02:12:53.000 When they explained to me that, no, no, no, no, it was a bobcat, then I had to look into my memory and I was like, how much of my memory is concocted?
02:13:01.000 How much of my memory in this situation is just like a total falsification?
02:13:06.000 What I wanted it to be.
02:13:07.000 Well, I've just filled in the blanks.
02:13:09.000 Like, I knew it was a living thing, I knew it was some kind of a cat, and I knew it ran away really quick, and there was a couple of them.
02:13:15.000 So, when we said it was a cat, I was like, oh, well, that must have been a mountain lion, a very small mountain lion.
02:13:20.000 And I was trying to figure it out.
02:13:22.000 Bobcats are just, uh, they have really big paws, right?
02:13:26.000 Isn't that what it is?
02:13:26.000 Some of them.
02:13:27.000 Oh no, those are lynx. 0.97
02:13:28.000 Lynx have really big paws. 0.54
02:13:29.000 Yeah, because they walk through the snow.
02:13:30.000 Those are Canadian.
02:13:30.000 Those are weird to see, man.
02:13:32.000 I saw one of those.
02:13:33.000 I don't want to see one of those.
02:13:34.000 I saw one of those when I was in Canada.
02:13:35.000 Did you?
02:13:36.000 Yeah, walking on the side of the road.
02:13:37.000 I took a picture of it.
02:13:39.000 Going to raise there, never saw one ever.
02:13:41.000 Never saw a moose seedling.
02:13:42.000 What?
02:13:43.000 And I know they're massive.
02:13:43.000 Who are you?
02:13:44.000 I know.
02:13:45.000 Who are you?
02:13:46.000 I don't know who I am sometimes.
02:13:47.000 Isn't that like the Canadian animal?
02:13:49.000 Or is it like a duck or something?
02:13:52.000 The goose is ours.
02:13:53.000 Is it?
02:13:54.000 For real?
02:13:54.000 The Canada goose.
02:13:56.000 No.
02:13:56.000 That's your animal?
02:13:57.000 I don't know.
02:13:58.000 I think that's the only one that we identify as Canadian.
02:14:00.000 But moose is definitely part of our heritage.
02:14:05.000 In a way, that's kind of appropriate that you guys are the goose and we're the eagle. 0.99
02:14:09.000 You know, we're a cunty, shitty, mean bird. 1.00
02:14:12.000 Doesn't give a fuck. 1.00
02:14:14.000 Kills everything. 1.00
02:14:16.000 But can be tamed.
02:14:18.000 An eagle can be tamed?
02:14:19.000 Yeah, sure.
02:14:20.000 You can get him to sit on your arm.
02:14:21.000 He's not trying to pull your eyes off. 1.00
02:14:23.000 One of them giant fucking leather... 0.99
02:14:25.000 I think you have to raise them, but people definitely raise eagles. 0.99
02:14:29.000 I mean, it's not like you can get a regular eagle and tame them, but if you raise them, I'm sure you can get them to the point where they don't try to kill you all the time.
02:14:36.000 Like Dave's House of Eagles or something.
02:14:38.000 It's such an awesome animal, though.
02:14:40.000 It's just amazing that there's such a variety of different things.
02:14:44.000 That's my dad sitting on it.
02:14:45.000 Whoa. 1.00
02:14:46.000 That's your dad sitting on a goddamn man-eating tiger that he killed. 1.00
02:14:53.000 What a scary thing that is. 1.00
02:14:55.000 You know another thing about it?
02:14:57.000 They're so beautiful.
02:14:58.000 Oh yeah.
02:14:59.000 It's weird, like you're gonna be killed by something that's so amazing to look at.
02:15:04.000 Don't they always say that if tigers were in Africa, they would be the king of the jungle?
02:15:07.000 Oh, yeah.
02:15:08.000 Yeah.
02:15:09.000 Oh, they're way bigger.
02:15:10.000 Especially the big ones.
02:15:11.000 Bigger, meaner.
02:15:12.000 Yeah.
02:15:13.000 They're faster.
02:15:14.000 They're on the next level to a lion.
02:15:17.000 There was a video that I watched the other day.
02:15:18.000 Are ligers real? 1.00
02:15:19.000 Yes.
02:15:20.000 Lions are real.
02:15:21.000 But ligers tend to be docile for some strange reason. 1.00
02:15:24.000 I don't think anybody's ever been attacked by a liger.
02:15:26.000 They also have some weird growth thing going on where whatever regulates growth, it doesn't work on them.
02:15:34.000 That's a liger? 0.95
02:15:35.000 Yeah.
02:15:35.000 They're so huge.
02:15:36.000 They're way bigger than regular cats.
02:15:38.000 Look at the belly on that guy, though. 1.00
02:15:40.000 Yeah, they're fucking giant, dude. 1.00
02:15:42.000 That's an enormous, enormous animal. 1.00
02:15:45.000 So whether it's the male tiger fucks the female lion, I think that's how it goes.
02:15:50.000 So when that happens, apparently the... 0.90
02:15:54.000 Look at that.
02:15:55.000 That's amazing looking, isn't it?
02:15:58.000 Apparently, when it does happen, the cat, whichever side is the lion or the tiger, one of the sides is supposed to get the gene for regulating growth from the woman, but it doesn't get it from the woman,
02:16:14.000 or it doesn't get it from the man, because the man's a tiger or the man's a lion, however the combination works.
02:16:19.000 But because it's a male and a female, or a lion and a tiger, they make this new thing that doesn't know when to stop growing.
02:16:27.000 So it just keeps growing.
02:16:28.000 Yeah.
02:16:29.000 It just gets you bigger.
02:16:30.000 But these are fabricated.
02:16:31.000 Well, I think they can appear in the wild, but they don't live in the wild together.
02:16:36.000 Yeah, but they're two animals that are from different continents.
02:16:39.000 You know what I mean?
02:16:39.000 So somebody had to have put them together at some point.
02:16:41.000 Not only that, they're not viable.
02:16:43.000 They're hybrids, and it's a hybrid that's not viable.
02:16:47.000 It's not like a dog. 1.00
02:16:48.000 A wolf can fuck your dog, and those puppies are part wolf, and they can fuck a regular dog, and there'd be no problem. 1.00
02:16:55.000 They would just keep making puppies. 1.00
02:16:56.000 It'd probably be good for the gene pool.
02:16:58.000 But with these things, even though a lion and a tiger Probably look more similar than a German Shepherd and a poodle.
02:17:06.000 They do, right?
02:17:07.000 They probably look more similar.
02:17:09.000 They're not the same thing.
02:17:10.000 So that baby's a hybrid.
02:17:12.000 So those hybrid babies, they can't reproduce. 1.00
02:17:15.000 They can't produce more ligers.
02:17:17.000 Exactly.
02:17:18.000 Yeah.
02:17:18.000 So they're one litter animals.
02:17:20.000 Yeah.
02:17:20.000 But like wolf dogs?
02:17:22.000 Wolf dogs can fuck regular dogs, and they can get fucked by regular dogs. 1.00
02:17:27.000 Oh man, by the way, I heard coyotes like crazy in my backyard last night. 1.00
02:17:30.000 Fucking? 1.00
02:17:31.000 Or screaming? 1.00
02:17:31.000 I don't know. 1.00
02:17:31.000 They were screaming. 1.00
02:17:32.000 They were killing something, I'm sure.
02:17:34.000 Yeah.
02:17:35.000 They're interesting, aren't they?
02:17:36.000 Those are wolves.
02:17:37.000 Yeah.
02:17:37.000 They're actual wolves.
02:17:39.000 Skinny wolves.
02:17:40.000 Yeah, little tiny wolves.
02:17:41.000 They can mate with wolves. 0.81
02:17:42.000 They mate with dogs.
02:17:43.000 We ran into a litter once when I was doing Fear Factor.
02:17:46.000 We were in this really rural area where we were doing this stunt, and we ran into a litter of coyotes.
02:17:54.000 And Labrador Retriever. 0.95
02:17:55.000 Coyote had fucked this guy's Labrador Retriever. 0.99
02:17:58.000 And the Labrador Retriever gave birth and the puppies were all outside and we were trying to... 0.99
02:18:02.000 Were they mangy looking?
02:18:04.000 They were real mangy looking.
02:18:05.000 It was real sad because they were essentially feral and people were kind of trying to rescue them and they were trying to give them to people on the crew and people on the crew were like...
02:18:14.000 Trying to get the cell phone service so they can call friends, see if anybody wanted to take them.
02:18:18.000 Because you realize, like, wow, these poor little things, like, they're just, they're going to die out here.
02:18:22.000 But there was also the thought, like, whoa, who wants a half coyote? 0.99
02:18:26.000 Nobody wants a fucking coyote. 0.99
02:18:27.000 That thing ain't going to listen to you, man. 1.00
02:18:29.000 Yeah, they're wily. 0.98
02:18:30.000 Yeah, that's a wild animal.
02:18:32.000 A tricky little wild animal. 1.00
02:18:33.000 That fucking thing is not listening. 1.00
02:18:36.000 But if you have, like, a lot of people are... 1.00
02:18:38.000 But a lab is, like, such a calm, peaceful dog, too.
02:18:41.000 Might bounce it out.
02:18:42.000 Yeah, I don't know.
02:18:43.000 It might be too, you know...
02:18:45.000 It might just make a really cunty lab.
02:18:47.000 I don't know.
02:18:48.000 I'm having this guy on soon.
02:18:51.000 He's a wildlife biologist who's been studying all the coyotes that live in urban Los Angeles.
02:18:57.000 There's a big article about it, about this ongoing research, about just how many coyotes live.
02:19:02.000 There's a ton of them, dude.
02:19:03.000 It's incredible.
02:19:04.000 They've infiltrated and they're a part of this.
02:19:07.000 We like to think of our cities as environments that are free of anything alive other than us that's dangerous.
02:19:16.000 Or anything other than us that's a predator.
02:19:18.000 We don't want to think that there's something acting as a predator in our midst like that.
02:19:24.000 For the most part, we like to think of cities as being barren of wildlife.
02:19:29.000 But that's not true at all.
02:19:30.000 No.
02:19:30.000 Well, they were here before we were.
02:19:32.000 Not even.
02:19:33.000 Here's the thing.
02:19:34.000 They were, but their range has expanded.
02:19:36.000 I'm reading a book right now called Coyote America by this guy, Dan Flores.
02:19:43.000 And he was a wildlife historian turned author.
02:19:48.000 And you find out about the history of the coyote.
02:19:51.000 Apparently all dogs came from North America. 0.98
02:19:55.000 All dogs, all cannids, including jackals, including a bunch of shit that's in Africa right now, all came from North America. 1.00
02:20:02.000 All horses, zebras, it all came from North America. 0.99
02:20:06.000 They went extinct in North America and then were reintroduced later.
02:20:10.000 And the coyotes are a weird animal.
02:20:12.000 How did they get around? 0.99
02:20:12.000 I don't fucking know. 0.99
02:20:13.000 I guess Pangea. 0.98
02:20:14.000 I think it was when the continents were all connected.
02:20:17.000 You know, when there was a different configuration. 0.99
02:20:19.000 But this fucking book's amazing, man. 1.00
02:20:21.000 Talking about the history of the coyote and how sneaky those fuckers are. 1.00
02:20:25.000 The reason why there's so many coyotes, they're all across every city in America today. 0.99
02:20:29.000 And that wasn't the case a hundred years ago.
02:20:32.000 They've expanded their range due to persecution.
02:20:34.000 So when anybody shoots them, when wolves come in and start killing them, when anything happens to them, they make more babies. 0.56
02:20:41.000 They do that roll call, that screaming in the night.
02:20:44.000 When one of them's not calling back, the females start producing more eggs. 1.00
02:20:49.000 It's crazy shit. 0.99
02:20:50.000 They go from having like four offspring to like, you know, four pups in the litter, they'll have like 15. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. 1.00
02:20:58.000 You know, you know, have you ever heard when a siren goes by, it sets them off?
02:21:02.000 Yeah. 0.97
02:21:03.000 I hear a siren and then fucking all of a sudden you hear a shitload of coyotes and like, wow. 0.98
02:21:07.000 Have you ever heard turkey do that? 0.99
02:21:09.000 No.
02:21:10.000 When you slam your car door.
02:21:11.000 Right.
02:21:12.000 If you're out in the woods and you slam your car door, you'll hear...
02:21:16.000 Really?
02:21:16.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
02:21:17.000 Like, they have this instinctive reaction.
02:21:20.000 Like, turkeys will gobble if you make a turkey call.
02:21:23.000 Like, you know, they have the...
02:21:24.000 And they make a call like a turkey and the turkey calls back.
02:21:27.000 But they'll also do it if you just slam a car door.
02:21:30.000 They're very sensitive to sound.
02:21:32.000 They just freak out.
02:21:33.000 And when they freak out, they can't handle themselves.
02:21:35.000 What was that meat you were cooking the other day?
02:21:38.000 Elk?
02:21:39.000 Yes.
02:21:40.000 How was it?
02:21:41.000 It's good.
02:21:41.000 You ever had?
02:21:42.000 No.
02:21:43.000 Do you cook?
02:21:44.000 My lady cooks. 1.00
02:21:46.000 She does? 0.98
02:21:46.000 I'll give you some. 0.98
02:21:47.000 I have some elk here.
02:21:48.000 Do you really?
02:21:48.000 Yeah.
02:21:49.000 I'll take a little elk home.
02:21:50.000 What does it taste like? 0.99
02:21:53.000 Like cow fucked a deer. 1.00
02:21:56.000 Made sweet, sweet love to a deer, but more delicious. 1.00
02:22:00.000 Okay.
02:22:00.000 It's like my favorite meat.
02:22:02.000 It's really good for you, too.
02:22:03.000 I thought it looked good, and I never thought I'd ever say this to you, but I really want to taste your meat, Joe. 1.00
02:22:09.000 You son of a bitch! 1.00
02:22:11.000 You can't help yourself. 1.00
02:22:13.000 I can't.
02:22:13.000 It's just who you are.
02:22:14.000 You gotta accept it.
02:22:15.000 It's true.
02:22:15.000 When you were telling me about the coyotes, and you were saying you were reading the book, what was the name of the book?
02:22:19.000 Coyote America.
02:22:19.000 I was like, have you read Coyote Ugly?
02:22:22.000 It's a short book.
02:22:23.000 It pained me to stop myself from saying it.
02:22:27.000 Some kids say they don't even know what coyote ugly means. 1.00
02:22:30.000 Let me explain to you, you little fucks. 1.00
02:22:32.000 Coyote ugly is when someone fucks someone that's so ugly that your arm is underneath them when you wake up and you chew your arm off like a coyote caught in a trap just so that you don't have to wake them up and deal with them. 1.00
02:22:50.000 It's true. 0.98
02:22:51.000 That's what the term coyote ugly comes from, right?
02:22:53.000 It's true. 1.00
02:22:54.000 That's a brutal goddamn term. 0.99
02:22:57.000 I've had a few of those in my time. 0.99
02:22:59.000 Have you?
02:23:00.000 Yeah.
02:23:00.000 That's mean.
02:23:01.000 Road coyotes.
02:23:04.000 Some of the old road coyotes.
02:23:06.000 Road.
02:23:08.000 The travels.
02:23:10.000 There's some spots in this country where you stop in and you go, man, I wish I could get all of you guys out of here.
02:23:17.000 But then you talk to them and they love it there.
02:23:19.000 Sure.
02:23:19.000 People love where they are.
02:23:21.000 Yeah.
02:23:21.000 But then I get to some spots where I'm like, you know, you're driving through these really small towns and you're looking around.
02:23:27.000 And I always think to myself, I wonder if I just fucking stopped the car here, bought a house, and then never called anybody again. 0.53
02:23:35.000 Just lived here in this little small town. 0.96
02:23:38.000 You know what that is?
02:23:39.000 That's a longing for nostalgia.
02:23:42.000 It is.
02:23:43.000 It's like you thinking, I'm going to go back to being a regular guy.
02:23:46.000 I'm tired of being Russell Peters, Mr. International, Mr. Worldwide.
02:23:50.000 You know what's funny?
02:23:50.000 When I go home to Toronto, I always drive through my old neighborhoods.
02:23:56.000 Like the three or four neighborhoods that I did grow up in.
02:23:58.000 Do you hang your Rolex out the window?
02:24:01.000 What?
02:24:01.000 You know, I'm always tempted to knock on the doors of the houses I lived in.
02:24:06.000 Yeah.
02:24:06.000 But I do it at these ungodly hours, so it'd be really creepy.
02:24:09.000 And you're probably drunk.
02:24:10.000 No, no, no.
02:24:11.000 I don't drink and drive.
02:24:12.000 Yeah, people don't want you knocking on their door and saying, hey, I used to live here.
02:24:16.000 Yeah, you don't need more.
02:24:17.000 Nice to see you.
02:24:18.000 Take it easy.
02:24:19.000 I want to just be like, hey, I grew up in this house.
02:24:22.000 Can I just come in and look around? 1.00
02:24:24.000 Like, no, you fuck. 1.00
02:24:25.000 I'm hanging meat in the basement. 1.00
02:24:26.000 Get out of here.
02:24:27.000 There was a house I grew up in that was for sale recently.
02:24:31.000 I got to see it online.
02:24:32.000 It was weird.
02:24:33.000 You should have bought it.
02:24:34.000 No.
02:24:35.000 No.
02:24:36.000 We're in Massachusetts.
02:24:37.000 Yeah, in Newton.
02:24:38.000 Newton-Upper Falls.
02:24:40.000 But it's interesting to see it.
02:24:41.000 Did you know Dana back then?
02:24:42.000 No.
02:24:43.000 No?
02:24:43.000 No, I didn't know Dana.
02:24:44.000 I didn't know Dana until 2001 or something like that, like whenever they bought the UFC. Yeah, he lived in South Boston.
02:24:54.000 I used to work in South Boston at one point in time.
02:24:56.000 Is that where the Southies are?
02:24:58.000 Yeah.
02:24:58.000 I think he lived there.
02:24:59.000 I think he said he lived in South Boston.
02:25:01.000 But I lived in Newton, Newton Upper Falls.
02:25:04.000 Now I lived all over the place.
02:25:06.000 Once I moved out of my parents' place, I moved to a lot of shitty neighborhoods and pursued my comedy dream, Russell Peters.
02:25:11.000 You never had that accent.
02:25:13.000 I did I did I found myself on TV when I won the Bay State games in 1986 86 or 87 like that they had this thing called the Bay State games and it was like this big thing I It was this big tournament that they would do,
02:25:33.000 like an Olympic-style tournament.
02:25:36.000 This was Taekwondo?
02:25:37.000 Yeah, and they've televised this fight. 0.60
02:25:39.000 They televised, they fucked up the camera, and the camera missed the fight.
02:25:42.000 I won by knockout in the first round in like 30 seconds. 0.91
02:25:46.000 And then they had this big TV report where they had these...
02:25:52.000 These TV people interview me because I had won the state championship a couple years in a row and they were interested in coverage of the Bay State games. 1.00
02:25:59.000 Anyway, I listened to myself on TV and I sounded like such a fucking idiot. 0.99
02:26:04.000 I had a VHS tape of myself. 1.00
02:26:07.000 And I realized it was the first time I'd ever heard myself.
02:26:10.000 Is it online?
02:26:10.000 No.
02:26:10.000 I don't know where it is.
02:26:11.000 I never realized how Canadian I sounded until I saw an interview of mine from like 97, 96. And I was just so earnest and Canadian.
02:26:23.000 I was just extra Canadian.
02:26:25.000 Did you say about?
02:26:25.000 Did you say about?
02:26:26.000 I did. 0.99
02:26:26.000 I fucking did. 0.99
02:26:27.000 You don't say it anymore? 0.99
02:26:28.000 No.
02:26:28.000 Say about?
02:26:29.000 Say about.
02:26:30.000 Yeah, that's right.
02:26:31.000 You're struggling.
02:26:31.000 I feel the struggle.
02:26:33.000 The only thing I say that's still very Canadian is sorry. 1.00
02:26:37.000 Ugh.
02:26:38.000 I listened to myself when I was 19 in this video and I was saying, hide.
02:26:41.000 Like, we worked out really hard for this.
02:26:44.000 Oh.
02:26:44.000 I was like, ugh.
02:26:46.000 That's so funny to me. 1.00
02:26:47.000 It's that stupid noise. 1.00
02:26:47.000 I can't even picture you like that. 1.00
02:26:49.000 Was Callan out there too in Boston?
02:26:51.000 Callan was in Boston, but again, I didn't know him either.
02:26:54.000 Callan was apparently in Boston and he was also doing Taekwondo, but I didn't know him.
02:27:00.000 But he was born in India.
02:27:02.000 Cowan was born in the Philippines.
02:27:04.000 His sister was born in India.
02:27:05.000 Yeah.
02:27:06.000 He was a military child.
02:27:07.000 Yeah.
02:27:08.000 So he lived all over the place.
02:27:09.000 He lived in Saudi Arabia.
02:27:11.000 Yeah.
02:27:12.000 He lived everywhere. 0.99
02:27:13.000 It's a fucking weird way to grow up, man. 0.99
02:27:15.000 Yeah, I can't imagine that. 0.99
02:27:17.000 Living in a bunch of strange foreign countries.
02:27:20.000 But to be, like, I mean, to be as well-rounded as he is today is a testament to him.
02:27:25.000 Yeah.
02:27:26.000 Well, he's super well-rounded as far as, like, his interests.
02:27:29.000 Yeah, he's just, you know, he's a guy. 1.00
02:27:31.000 He knows a lot of shit. 1.00
02:27:33.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:27:33.000 He knows a lot of shit about very interesting and different... 1.00
02:27:36.000 Like, he's one of the few guys that I can call up, like, some bizarre thing that's in the news. 0.99
02:27:40.000 I can call up, hey, fill me in on this. 0.98
02:27:42.000 Like, what the fuck's going on with this? 0.98
02:27:44.000 And he'll be able to most likely have some insight... 0.99
02:27:49.000 He's got a pretty broad range of topics in his head that he knows quite a bit about.
02:27:55.000 Don't ever talk to him about wine.
02:27:56.000 You'll get stuck.
02:27:57.000 Oh yeah, I can't drink wine anyway.
02:27:59.000 I got acid reflux.
02:28:00.000 No wine for me.
02:28:00.000 What is acid reflux?
02:28:02.000 It's your body telling you you're a fat fuck and you need to change your diet. 1.00
02:28:06.000 Is that what it is? 1.00
02:28:08.000 But what does it mean?
02:28:08.000 Does it mean like burps come up?
02:28:11.000 Yeah, your burps come up.
02:28:13.000 I mean, it burns.
02:28:14.000 It burns to hear.
02:28:15.000 So your digestive juices kick back up.
02:28:17.000 Yeah.
02:28:18.000 It's horrible.
02:28:20.000 What's causing it?
02:28:22.000 I've had it since I was a kid.
02:28:24.000 I remember being a six, seven-year-old having it.
02:28:27.000 Now, is there anything they can give you?
02:28:29.000 Would they give you something for it?
02:28:31.000 Back then?
02:28:31.000 No, now.
02:28:32.000 Now, yeah.
02:28:32.000 I take stuff called Protonix.
02:28:34.000 And what does that stuff do?
02:28:36.000 It just stops it.
02:28:38.000 I don't know what it does exactly, but I know I don't feel any pain when I'm on it, so I'm good with it. 1.00
02:28:43.000 You don't feel any pain like you could whack your dick with a hammer? 1.00
02:28:45.000 Like that kind of thing? 1.00
02:28:46.000 Actually, I'm numb.
02:28:46.000 Numb to the world.
02:28:47.000 Numb to the world?
02:28:48.000 That's what you're looking for?
02:28:49.000 But I eat pizza and not worry.
02:28:51.000 I drank a whole Mountain Dew. 0.99
02:28:53.000 I don't give a fuck. 0.99
02:28:54.000 Do you think there's a dietary cure? 0.99
02:28:57.000 Absolutely.
02:28:58.000 When I eat properly, it doesn't bother me at all.
02:29:01.000 I could not take medication then.
02:29:02.000 That's interesting. 1.00
02:29:03.000 So you choose to eat like shit? 1.00
02:29:05.000 No, I just do it preventatively now, just in case. 1.00
02:29:09.000 I don't know what the fuck's going to trigger it. 0.98
02:29:11.000 Wow. 0.99
02:29:11.000 So when it triggers it, it just kicks in? 0.99
02:29:13.000 You start getting that burning feeling in your throat?
02:29:16.000 It's kind of like a...
02:29:17.000 Yeah, it's like a burn and you burp and your eyes water.
02:29:20.000 Like what'll do it to you?
02:29:21.000 Like lasagna?
02:29:22.000 Lasagna kick you down?
02:29:23.000 No, pizza would take me down.
02:29:24.000 Pizza.
02:29:25.000 French fries.
02:29:26.000 Anything greasy.
02:29:27.000 Greasy.
02:29:28.000 Wine is the worst for me, though.
02:29:30.000 Really?
02:29:31.000 Oh my god.
02:29:32.000 So right now, if we busted out a glass of wine and started cleaning from glasses, you'd just start throwing up?
02:29:36.000 No, no, no.
02:29:37.000 It wouldn't hit me.
02:29:37.000 I'd be like, oh, it's all right now.
02:29:39.000 And then when I go to bed, the minute I lay down... 1.00
02:29:42.000 Oh, that's when you feel like shit? 1.00
02:29:43.000 Yeah, that's when it happens. 1.00
02:29:44.000 Man.
02:29:45.000 Stay up.
02:29:46.000 That's what I'd say.
02:29:46.000 Just forever?
02:29:47.000 Don't be a pussy. 1.00
02:29:48.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:29:49.000 I don't know why I'm not committing to this more.
02:29:50.000 Yeah, man.
02:29:51.000 You just gotta keep partying, bro.
02:29:53.000 I don't know what the side effects- Just gotta party harder.
02:29:54.000 Can you see what the side effects to Protonix are?
02:29:56.000 Because I'm pretty sure- You gotta have some.
02:29:58.000 I heard it's probably short-term memory.
02:30:00.000 I forget.
02:30:01.000 Wah, wah, wah.
02:30:03.000 That was a pun, ladies! 0.99
02:30:05.000 That wasn't a pun.
02:30:05.000 What was that, a clip?
02:30:06.000 That was just shit. 1.00
02:30:06.000 That was just shit, Joe. 1.00
02:30:07.000 That's what that was. 1.00
02:30:08.000 That's all it was. 1.00
02:30:09.000 It was shit. 1.00
02:30:09.000 How would you categorize that if you're a professional? 1.00
02:30:11.000 Weight changes.
02:30:12.000 See?
02:30:13.000 Weight changes, nausea, vomiting, mild diarrhea, gas, stomach pain.
02:30:17.000 Tired feeling, that's always.
02:30:19.000 Dude, get off this stuff.
02:30:21.000 Jesus Christ.
02:30:22.000 Okay, Jamie, now Google Protonix dangers, please.
02:30:27.000 God, long-term use may cause issues. 1.00
02:30:29.000 Dude, get off that shit. 1.00
02:30:31.000 Oh my God, what are you taking? 1.00
02:30:35.000 Common side effects.
02:30:36.000 FDA sounds alarm on the dangers of anti-acid drugs.
02:30:39.000 How is it a side effect of it if it's what you take to fix it?
02:30:43.000 Click on Chris Crusher's article, FDA sounds, alarms, and dangers of aspirin.
02:30:50.000 This is six years ago. 0.99
02:30:51.000 This guy's smart as fuck. 0.99
02:30:52.000 I've had him on the podcast. 1.00
02:30:53.000 Very, very knowledgeable guy. 1.00
02:30:55.000 Goddamn your pop-ups! 1.00
02:30:56.000 Fuck your pop-ups! 1.00
02:30:57.000 So what does it say here? 1.00
02:30:58.000 In a shockingly rare example of FDA actually doing its job, a report was issued on Tuesday cautioning against the prolonged use of a class of acid-stopping drugs called proton pump inhibitors.
02:31:13.000 Okay. 0.99
02:31:14.000 So this is the shit, man. 1.00
02:31:16.000 Oh my God. 1.00
02:31:18.000 Americans spend $5.1 billion on the most popular anti-assets.
02:31:25.000 That is insane. 1.00
02:31:27.000 Holy shit. 1.00
02:31:29.000 There's so much money in drugs. 1.00
02:31:32.000 That's what we should have got into, Russell.
02:31:34.000 Why are we telling jokes?
02:31:36.000 We could be selling drugs.
02:31:37.000 Well, you're busy taking them, so.
02:31:40.000 Wah, wah, wah.
02:31:42.000 I take the good ones.
02:31:43.000 That's it.
02:31:43.000 That stuff, though, doesn't seem like a good one.
02:31:45.000 And you take that stuff.
02:31:47.000 I take it twice a day.
02:31:48.000 Dude, stop taking that, please.
02:31:50.000 I take it when I wake up, and I take it before I go to bed.
02:31:52.000 Can I connect you with a diet guy that can change your life?
02:31:55.000 Yes.
02:31:55.000 Would you do it?
02:31:56.000 Hell yeah.
02:31:57.000 Yeah?
02:31:57.000 Okay.
02:31:57.000 I'm going to connect you with a guy.
02:31:59.000 I know a guy that can change your life.
02:32:00.000 Yeah.
02:32:01.000 I need that.
02:32:02.000 Change your life!
02:32:04.000 Joe Rogan, Changing Lives.
02:32:05.000 Would you listen?
02:32:06.000 Would you only eat the stuff that he told you to?
02:32:08.000 Yeah.
02:32:10.000 I'm not an expert, so I would have to listen to what he says.
02:32:12.000 Now, you're a wealthy man.
02:32:14.000 How come you haven't already done this?
02:32:17.000 I do.
02:32:18.000 I try.
02:32:18.000 You got the paper?
02:32:20.000 You got that paper?
02:32:21.000 I try.
02:32:21.000 I try.
02:32:22.000 I just enjoy food.
02:32:23.000 I enjoy life.
02:32:24.000 I do too, man.
02:32:24.000 That's the problem.
02:32:25.000 I'm like, you know what? 0.99
02:32:26.000 I feel like going off sometimes, maybe right now, like going and getting like a gigantic fucking mushroom and pepperoni pizza. 0.99
02:32:34.000 Not give a fuck how they got that pepperoni either. 0.99
02:32:36.000 You see what you just did? 1.00
02:32:36.000 You planted a fucking seed in my head, Joe. 1.00
02:32:39.000 It's just perfect right off the fucking oven. 1.00
02:32:42.000 Oof. 0.99
02:32:43.000 They slide it out of that oven with that giant spatula, and they drop it down into that box.
02:32:49.000 Yeah, they drop it like it's hot.
02:32:50.000 You just start pulling slices apart, and the cheese is hanging, all gooey. 0.99
02:32:55.000 And you dig in, you taste that tomato sauce, and that grease, and the spices, and you're just chewing on the carbs, too, and you're just going, fuck, yeah! 0.99
02:33:08.000 Like, I don't need a six-pack. 0.99
02:33:11.000 I don't need to be shredded. 1.00
02:33:12.000 Fuck all that. 1.00
02:33:13.000 Give me this pizza right now. 1.00
02:33:16.000 That's my problem.
02:33:17.000 That's the problem.
02:33:18.000 The problem is the way you sold it just now.
02:33:20.000 I may stop on the way home. 1.00
02:33:22.000 I ate a bunch of boring shit today. 1.00
02:33:24.000 I ate nuts. 1.00
02:33:26.000 Eggs. 1.00
02:33:27.000 I ate a bunch of boring ass shit. 1.00
02:33:29.000 I certainly didn't have a fresh pizza. 1.00
02:33:31.000 I had multigrain Cheerios.
02:33:33.000 That's good.
02:33:34.000 If you like sugar and things that aren't really good for you but appear to be good for you on the box.
02:33:38.000 Oh, it's multigrain!
02:33:42.000 They were delicious.
02:33:43.000 You know what I like?
02:33:44.000 Pineapple and anchovy pizza.
02:33:47.000 You ever had that?
02:33:47.000 I don't like pineapple on anchovies.
02:33:50.000 See, the two of them together.
02:33:51.000 I know it seems nasty.
02:33:53.000 I know people are listening to me. 1.00
02:33:54.000 They're like, Joe Rubin, you're a fucking idiot. 1.00
02:33:55.000 You need the pineapple to mask the anchovy. 1.00
02:33:57.000 No, it doesn't mask it.
02:33:58.000 It all gets busy together.
02:34:00.000 I'm telling you, it's fantastic.
02:34:02.000 Yeah, I can't do cunty smelling things like that.
02:34:03.000 Not only that, I go double pineapple, double anchovy.
02:34:06.000 Yeah, I can't do that. 0.99
02:34:07.000 I don't give a fuck, Russell Peters. 1.00
02:34:08.000 I think you just shit on my pizza dreams. 1.00
02:34:13.000 Hey, guess what? 1.00
02:34:14.000 You just talked me out of eating pizza.
02:34:15.000 Here's another one.
02:34:16.000 Maybe this will be more up your aisle.
02:34:19.000 Jalapenos and sausage.
02:34:22.000 Jalapenos, sausage, and cheese.
02:34:22.000 Jalapenos, sausage, and cheese.
02:34:24.000 Oh, don't be a pussy. 1.00
02:34:25.000 You're taking drugs. 1.00
02:34:26.000 I know.
02:34:26.000 Take the drug.
02:34:27.000 Take extra.
02:34:28.000 The jalapenos and the sausage.
02:34:29.000 Take your extra jalapenos. 1.00
02:34:32.000 It'll all fuck me sideways. 1.00
02:34:34.000 Take your extra medicine. 1.00
02:34:35.000 Can't you take, like, four of those fuckers? 1.00
02:34:36.000 Oh, God, you don't want to do that. 1.00
02:34:38.000 No?
02:34:38.000 What happens then?
02:34:38.000 I don't know.
02:34:39.000 You get no more acid.
02:34:40.000 I just don't want to find out.
02:34:40.000 It cleans out all your acid.
02:34:42.000 What's happening?
02:34:42.000 Like, how's it stopping that?
02:34:44.000 I don't know.
02:34:45.000 What's it doing?
02:34:47.000 Can't be good.
02:34:47.000 But I've had it since I was a kid.
02:34:49.000 And my parents were just telling me, drink milk.
02:34:51.000 Mmm, that's a good thing to tell people.
02:34:54.000 My mom would be like, oh, go drink some milk. 1.00
02:34:56.000 It'll go away.
02:34:56.000 It's almost like nothing you should drink milk for, other than you want milk.
02:35:00.000 Yep, drink some milk, it'll cool it down.
02:35:02.000 Well, Indians, you know, because food's so spicy, they serve a yogurt dish with it, and yogurt's to...
02:35:07.000 Oh, okay.
02:35:08.000 To calm your instincts.
02:35:08.000 To calm everything down.
02:35:09.000 But I never liked the yogurt as a kid, so I would have to just drink milk.
02:35:12.000 I went to a kid's party recently, and we pulled up, and it was this thing at this roller skating place, and I was hungry.
02:35:21.000 I was like, I gotta get something to eat.
02:35:22.000 Oh, in North Georgia?
02:35:23.000 Yeah. 1.00
02:35:24.000 So right around the corner is this super authentic Indian deli slash lunch place where everything was in Indian and everything was like shit. 1.00
02:35:37.000 There was a few things that were in English. 0.96
02:35:39.000 No one there was American except for me or no one there was your standard English-speaking person except for me. 0.98
02:35:46.000 No one knew what the fuck I was saying. 0.99
02:35:48.000 I had to tell this lady I didn't want the naan bread. 0.99
02:35:52.000 She just wound up giving it to me anyway.
02:35:54.000 But the food was sensational.
02:35:57.000 It was really good.
02:35:58.000 All vegetarian, Indian food.
02:36:00.000 But I really felt like I had somehow or another teleported into another country.
02:36:05.000 I was hanging out with these people.
02:36:07.000 They're all wearing...
02:36:08.000 Indian clothes.
02:36:10.000 Totally identify them as being from India.
02:36:13.000 They had Indian music playing, Indian TV shows on.
02:36:16.000 They overdo it sometimes.
02:36:17.000 They went deep.
02:36:18.000 They missed the motherland.
02:36:19.000 Like a time capsule.
02:36:20.000 But the food is so distinct.
02:36:23.000 It's like all the curries and the different spices and the turmeric and...
02:36:30.000 It's a really interesting type of food, man.
02:36:33.000 It depends on which part of India you're eating food from, too.
02:36:36.000 It's very different everywhere.
02:36:38.000 There's a place...
02:36:39.000 North, south, east, west.
02:36:40.000 Everybody has their own stuff.
02:36:41.000 Yeah.
02:36:42.000 There's a place on Ventura.
02:36:43.000 Where's the best Indian restaurant in L.A.? Is there a one spot that really knows it?
02:36:47.000 I have a spot that I used to go to in Studio City.
02:36:49.000 It used to be called Great India Cafe.
02:36:52.000 And they just changed the name.
02:36:54.000 And I forgot what they changed the name to.
02:36:55.000 But the restaurant's still there.
02:36:57.000 There's one in...
02:36:58.000 And it's pretty damn good.
02:36:59.000 Woodland Hills on Ventura that's really good.
02:37:01.000 I might have been to that one.
02:37:03.000 Unabarg or something like that.
02:37:04.000 I'm trying to remember the name.
02:37:05.000 Down closer to the 101 area.
02:37:07.000 Yes, closer to like Calabasas.
02:37:08.000 Yeah.
02:37:09.000 That place is really good.
02:37:10.000 It's in a little strip plaza.
02:37:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:37:12.000 Yeah, it's not bad.
02:37:13.000 Dude, to me, it's really good. 0.99
02:37:15.000 I don't know shit, though. 0.94
02:37:16.000 I want you to school me in the ways of the authentic... 0.99
02:37:19.000 My mom taught my fiancee how to make her food her way, and she makes it fucking amazingly. 1.00
02:37:26.000 Really?
02:37:27.000 So if you're into it, I will have you and wifey over. 1.00
02:37:31.000 Let's do it!
02:37:32.000 Come on.
02:37:33.000 There was the place that I went to that I told you that was a super authentic Indian, but it was all vegetarian.
02:37:38.000 Is that common?
02:37:39.000 Yes.
02:37:41.000 Vegetarian is big over there.
02:37:43.000 The second place that I've found that's like a super authentic, there's another one in Canoga Park that's real similar.
02:37:49.000 It's like a supermarket, like a market rather.
02:37:51.000 And then they also serve food there, but it's all vegetarian as well.
02:37:54.000 Vegetarian is more common than not in India.
02:37:56.000 Really?
02:37:57.000 Yeah, you have to specify.
02:37:58.000 They'll put on the outside veg and non-veg.
02:38:02.000 Hmm.
02:38:02.000 So why do you think that is?
02:38:03.000 And then on airplanes when they order their food and then they screw it up.
02:38:06.000 I am a vegetable.
02:38:07.000 My wife is also a vegetable.
02:38:09.000 Oh, that's what they say?
02:38:09.000 Yes, yeah.
02:38:10.000 So vegetarian.
02:38:11.000 But it's good to hear.
02:38:12.000 Why is that, that Indian is so predominantly vegetarian? 0.62
02:38:15.000 It just always has been, historically.
02:38:17.000 I mean, you know, they...
02:38:18.000 I think they revere animals quite a bit.
02:38:20.000 They also can't really facilitate storing meat.
02:38:27.000 Some people don't have refrigerators and stuff.
02:38:29.000 Right, right.
02:38:30.000 That makes sense.
02:38:31.000 It's easier to hang on to the vegetables.
02:38:33.000 But there are some dishes like...
02:38:36.000 Like, there's one that has Rogan in it.
02:38:38.000 Lamb Rogan Josh.
02:38:39.000 Rogan Josh?
02:38:40.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
02:38:40.000 That shit is good. 1.00
02:38:42.000 That is good. 1.00
02:38:42.000 Oh, my God. 1.00
02:38:43.000 That place in Woodland Hills, I've had it there.
02:38:44.000 Extra spicy.
02:38:45.000 Oh, my God. 0.97
02:38:46.000 Rogan Josh is damn good. 0.97
02:38:48.000 You say Josh? 0.96
02:38:48.000 That's what you say? 0.96
02:38:49.000 I would say Josh.
02:38:50.000 Yeah.
02:38:51.000 Yeah, but that's a meat dish. 0.93
02:38:54.000 Is that just a small amount of those meat dishes in the Indian cuisine?
02:38:57.000 No, no, there's a lot of meat dishes.
02:38:58.000 It's just, you know, more often than not, you'll find, it's probably easier to find a vegetarian Indian restaurant than it would be to find a meat one.
02:39:06.000 Unless you go from like North India. 0.98
02:39:08.000 North Indians tend to eat a lot more meat.
02:39:10.000 I wonder if there's a direct connection.
02:39:12.000 I mean, India's always had an issue with Pakistan.
02:39:14.000 They've been involved in conflicts before.
02:39:16.000 But overall, when people think about Indian people, people from India, they think of them as not being warlike.
02:39:22.000 They think of them as being pretty peaceful people, right?
02:39:25.000 I wonder if there's a correlation between that and the massive amount of people eating plants only.
02:39:32.000 A wonder.
02:39:34.000 I don't know.
02:39:35.000 It's a possibility.
02:39:36.000 They are a very, you know, they've always been big on meditating and yoga, obviously, is ours.
02:39:42.000 Yeah.
02:39:43.000 And centering yourself.
02:39:45.000 And eating hash.
02:39:46.000 Yeah.
02:39:47.000 Eating hash.
02:39:48.000 And you go deep, deep, deep, deep, deep into the records.
02:39:51.000 They have some really crazy ancient writings, man. 0.99
02:39:55.000 On Vimanu's, this flying saucer talk and shit. 0.98
02:39:59.000 And some of the old... 0.98
02:40:00.000 And Sanskrit's the mother of all European languages.
02:40:03.000 Is it?
02:40:04.000 Mm-hmm.
02:40:05.000 Yeah, you're from a pretty cool place, huh?
02:40:07.000 It's not too shabby.
02:40:08.000 It's pretty badass.
02:40:10.000 Have you ever been?
02:40:10.000 No.
02:40:11.000 Oh, you'd love it. 0.99
02:40:12.000 All the cool shit that's been from India. 1.00
02:40:14.000 Like, that's a very unique part of the world. 0.99
02:40:18.000 Yeah, I think you'd really enjoy it out there.
02:40:19.000 You've got to get rid of those tigers before I go visit.
02:40:22.000 I'm not into that.
02:40:23.000 Your dad can do that.
02:40:24.000 I'm not going to be there for that.
02:40:26.000 Not for the tigers?
02:40:27.000 I used to have this bit in my act about a real thing that happened on the Sundarbans where this tiger jumped into the river, swam up to a boat that had five fishermen in it, and killed one at a time.
02:40:40.000 Killed three guys.
02:40:41.000 Grabbed them, bit them, dragged them into the water, pulled them to shore, killed them. 0.90
02:40:45.000 Jumped back in the water, swam back out to the boat, grabbed the next guy, pulled him to shore.
02:40:50.000 None of these guys thought about...
02:40:52.000 They couldn't do anything.
02:40:53.000 They were trying to row.
02:40:54.000 They couldn't row faster than the tiger can swim.
02:40:56.000 They swum faster, then five guys can row, and then four guys can row, and then three guys can row.
02:41:02.000 So there's two guys left.
02:41:04.000 Two guys survived. 0.99
02:41:05.000 And three out of the five were killed by the same fucking tiger who kept swimming out to the boat, jacking them, and then swimming to shore with them. 0.99
02:41:14.000 Yeah, to him it was like being at a party and the hors d'oeuvre tray was coming by. 0.99
02:41:19.000 Oh, I'll get another one of those, please.
02:41:20.000 He chased it down.
02:41:21.000 I mean, what a terrifying...
02:41:22.000 On the third one he was like, you know, I really shouldn't, but okay.
02:41:25.000 Oh.
02:41:26.000 Really wish I saved that video of the tiger running at the guy Because it turns off at the last minute I think they fire a gun and scare it but it's running at him at an impossible rate of speed like you see it running you just It forces your your brain to reprocess how fast you can get out of the way Yeah,
02:41:44.000 I think we like to think like go off something's coming at me, bro.
02:41:47.000 I fucking get out of there I run so fast. 0.96
02:41:50.000 Yeah I always think about a dog or something. 0.99
02:41:54.000 Even if a coyote came at me, I'm like, punch it in the face. 0.85
02:41:57.000 It's not just going to sit there and let you punch it in the face. 0.79
02:42:01.000 Your tough guy kicks in, and then your reality kicks back in.
02:42:05.000 Well, that's what people think they can do to each other, too. 0.99
02:42:07.000 You know, guys are always thinking, yeah, this fucking guy was looking at you. 0.99
02:42:10.000 I saw him looking at you. 1.00
02:42:12.000 I'm just gonna go over there and fuck that guy up. 1.00
02:42:14.000 And you think in your head, well, I got a plan here, and I'm gonna say something, and I'm gonna hit him with one of these, and that's gonna be the end of that. 1.00
02:42:21.000 And then when it's not, when the guy moves his head and hits you with a jab and kicks you in the balls, you're like, oh no, what have I done? 0.98
02:42:29.000 Yes, yes, always. 0.99
02:42:30.000 And then you get beat up by his friends.
02:42:32.000 But in your head, you have this thing. 1.00
02:42:35.000 That tiger's going to run at me, and I'm going to get the fuck out of the way. 0.99
02:42:38.000 Like the guys that tried to fight Nick Diaz in the bathroom. 0.98
02:42:41.000 Yeah, what a great idea. 1.00
02:42:43.000 Fucking smart plan, stupid. 1.00
02:42:45.000 You know, next time you're going to mouth off to somebody, look at their ears first. 1.00
02:42:48.000 Just look at his eyes, man.
02:42:50.000 He's got scar tissue all over his eyebrows.
02:42:52.000 Wouldn't you just assume that that guy's been into... 0.99
02:42:55.000 Well, they're just drunk dummies. 0.97
02:42:56.000 You've got a lot of those in this world. 0.99
02:42:58.000 Yeah, it doesn't make sense. 1.00
02:43:00.000 Even when I'm drunk, I'm not that stupid. 0.99
02:43:02.000 That's why you're Russell Peters. 1.00
02:43:03.000 You're not one of those dummies. 0.93
02:43:06.000 We need those guys too, Russell. 0.98
02:43:08.000 It's true.
02:43:08.000 We need to balance out the ecosystem.
02:43:10.000 For now. 0.99
02:43:12.000 We just gotta raise the level of dummy, you know, because the level of dummy today, if you take the average dummy, like even those guys that got in a fight with Nick Diaz, if you take those guys and drop them off in the caveman days, they'd be running shit. 0.97
02:43:24.000 They'd be the smartest guy in the room. 0.97
02:43:26.000 They'd be able to take, listen, listen, you guys don't know shit, you don't know what you're doing, first of all, we gotta make some shelter, we can't rely on this cave, the bears know where the cave is, okay, come on guys, come with me. 0.95
02:43:35.000 They'd figure out tools, like you guys haven't even figured out tools yet, we gotta make tools. 0.97
02:43:39.000 They'd be the foremans, they'd be the foremans.
02:43:40.000 If you could get one of those dummies and bring them back to the point before monkey people invented tools, and he could start making tools, he'd be the king, right? 1.00
02:43:49.000 Well, that's what's happening.
02:43:51.000 That was only a million years ago.
02:43:53.000 So evolution is not like, all of a sudden, now we're at.10.
02:43:56.000 No, there's still people at.6.
02:43:58.000 That guy's at.6.
02:44:00.000 Yeah, that's whatever.
02:44:01.000 People really think evolution is a...
02:44:04.000 It's an even playing field.
02:44:05.000 Yeah, everyone's like, well, then how come? 1.00
02:44:07.000 I'm like, because you're an idiot, that's why. 1.00
02:44:09.000 It's an even playing field. 1.00
02:44:10.000 Well, people don't want to admit that life isn't fair, you know, in a bunch of different ways.
02:44:17.000 It's definitely not fair physically.
02:44:19.000 If you think it's fair physically, go try wrestling LeBron James.
02:44:24.000 Just grab him. 0.68
02:44:26.000 Want to feel how helpless you are? 1.00
02:44:28.000 Just feel what it feels like if a fucking NFL lineman grabs you by your neck. 1.00
02:44:34.000 Just feel how vulnerable you actually are in relationships to how you appear that you are. 1.00
02:44:40.000 Or how you think that you are.
02:44:42.000 What you envision for yourself.
02:44:44.000 This world ain't fair at all.
02:44:46.000 People have that... 0.98
02:44:47.000 What's the fucking word I'm looking for? 0.98
02:44:52.000 The way they see themselves is not really the way they are. 0.99
02:44:55.000 You know, when I look in the mirror, I still see a 25-year-old Russell Peters. 0.98
02:45:00.000 But then, when I get honest with myself, I go, what the fuck happened there, kid? 0.99
02:45:04.000 You gotta stay drunk. 0.99
02:45:06.000 Stay drunk and keep moving.
02:45:07.000 Sometimes that's the answer.
02:45:09.000 A lot of people tell you, introspection, yoga, isolation tank.
02:45:14.000 You can go that way.
02:45:16.000 Or...
02:45:17.000 Stay drunk and keep moving.
02:45:19.000 Like, I love people that do both.
02:45:21.000 Like, Stan Hope's one of my favorites.
02:45:23.000 Stays drunk, keeps moving.
02:45:25.000 Same with Hunter Thompson.
02:45:27.000 Stay drunk, kept moving.
02:45:28.000 You still got your isolation tank?
02:45:30.000 Yes, I do.
02:45:31.000 How often?
02:45:31.000 You want to go in it?
02:45:32.000 I do.
02:45:33.000 When?
02:45:33.000 I really do.
02:45:34.000 Say the word.
02:45:35.000 And you tell me whenever you're home.
02:45:36.000 Come on over, dude.
02:45:37.000 We'll make it happen.
02:45:38.000 You're not far from me.
02:45:39.000 No.
02:45:40.000 We'll make it happen, dude.
02:45:41.000 You'll love it.
02:45:42.000 So relaxing.
02:45:43.000 When you get out of there, you go, whoa.
02:45:45.000 That's it, huh?
02:45:45.000 Yeah, yeah, that's it.
02:45:47.000 I really want to do it.
02:45:47.000 Body feels real good.
02:45:48.000 Loosens up everything.
02:45:49.000 Yeah.
02:45:50.000 I need that.
02:45:51.000 Just to shut off the world.
02:45:53.000 Do you have a spot in your house where you could put one?
02:45:56.000 Um...
02:45:56.000 No.
02:45:58.000 No?
02:46:00.000 Can you build, like, a little shack?
02:46:02.000 I could, yeah.
02:46:03.000 You should do that.
02:46:04.000 I'm going to wait until I move, and then I'll do it.
02:46:06.000 Oh, okay.
02:46:07.000 Because then I'll have a man cave that I can do with it.
02:46:09.000 Ooh, man cave.
02:46:10.000 Yeah, you want, ideally, the best move would be if you had a bathroom that you could sacrifice.
02:46:16.000 If you had a house, and I know you're...
02:46:18.000 Baller! 0.99
02:46:19.000 So you're going to get a nice house.
02:46:21.000 If you have a house and you could sacrifice one of your bathrooms, set it up in there so that you have the shower that's right there.
02:46:28.000 It's already set up for plumbing and all that jazz.
02:46:30.000 And have the guys from Float Lab set it up.
02:46:33.000 You will value it so much. 0.99
02:46:35.000 It's such a nice place to just chill and think about shit and reflect. 0.98
02:46:41.000 How long do you do it? 0.99
02:46:43.000 The least I do is an hour usually, but I will jump in if I only have 40 minutes.
02:46:47.000 And I said, I just want to get in there right now.
02:46:49.000 I will jump in and do like 40 minutes if I know I have to go somewhere.
02:46:52.000 But honestly, that is contrary to what it's good for.
02:46:56.000 What it's good for is like the end of the day for me.
02:46:58.000 Like everybody's asleep and I can get in that thing.
02:47:01.000 I can just...
02:47:03.000 Just totally remove myself.
02:47:06.000 Do you fall asleep in there?
02:47:07.000 No, never.
02:47:08.000 I don't think so. 1.00
02:47:09.000 Maybe you want to jerk off. 1.00
02:47:10.000 I don't do that. 1.00
02:47:11.000 But the salt.
02:47:12.000 It gets a sting, sting, sting.
02:47:16.000 You can, for sure.
02:47:17.000 I have a hard time falling asleep laying on my back, though, because I've got sleep apnea.
02:47:21.000 So if I did that, I start choking.
02:47:22.000 I think I've developed it.
02:47:23.000 I know I snore like a motorcycle now.
02:47:26.000 Yeah, it's super common, man.
02:47:28.000 Super common.
02:47:29.000 A lot of people have it. 0.96
02:47:29.000 It really fucks with your sleep, man. 0.96
02:47:31.000 You should do something about that. 0.98
02:47:33.000 Sometimes I'll take an Advil cold and sinus before I go to bed.
02:47:36.000 Does it help?
02:47:37.000 Yeah, because it opens up my airways.
02:47:38.000 You want to take a pill, guys, huh?
02:47:40.000 Not really, actually.
02:47:41.000 We've got to fix you. 0.99
02:47:42.000 This is what we're going to do, goddammit. 0.82
02:47:46.000 First of all, no working out with that Manny Pacquiao trainer anymore. 0.97
02:47:49.000 The guy's going to break you. 0.99
02:47:50.000 You need to go to Equinox and get a goddamn regular trainer like a gentleman. 0.98
02:47:54.000 I just want to get small. 0.98
02:47:55.000 He was making me big.
02:47:57.000 I was way healthier, I guess.
02:47:59.000 I don't know.
02:48:00.000 And now when I laugh, I can feel my core is really good in there. 0.99
02:48:03.000 But there's a lot of shit on top of this core right now. 0.98
02:48:06.000 Well, I can help you with that. 0.99
02:48:08.000 I got a guy I'm going to connect you with.
02:48:10.000 If you follow his diet, it will, without a doubt, clean you up.
02:48:14.000 We're gonna make that happen, Russell Peters, if you really want to do it.
02:48:17.000 My lady loves to cook for me, so she'll cook whatever we tell her to make. 1.00
02:48:20.000 It's gonna be hard, though. 0.99
02:48:21.000 The real way to get your body to lose weight is you gotta get off the fucking carbs and the sugar. 0.99
02:48:26.000 Yes. 0.99
02:48:26.000 And those are the most addictive things in the world. 0.99
02:48:28.000 Oh, I know.
02:48:30.000 The key is, don't torture yourself relentlessly.
02:48:33.000 Like, every now and then, you gotta give yourself a break.
02:48:36.000 Yeah.
02:48:36.000 Give yourself a little reward.
02:48:37.000 When I was training with Ariza, I would get a one-day cheat day.
02:48:42.000 Yeah? 0.98
02:48:43.000 I would go fucking nuts on that day, though. 0.98
02:48:45.000 What'd you have? 0.99
02:48:46.000 Oh, man.
02:48:47.000 Talk to me.
02:48:47.000 I would have pizza.
02:48:48.000 I went to Tommy's.
02:48:49.000 I had chili cheese fries.
02:48:51.000 I had double cheeseburgers.
02:48:54.000 Like, this isn't one day, you know?
02:48:56.000 I was going in.
02:48:57.000 Cake, ice cream.
02:48:58.000 I went in on everything.
02:49:00.000 You know my friend Eddie Bravo, right?
02:49:01.000 Of course.
02:49:02.000 Eddie Bravo used to be on the Atkins diet.
02:49:04.000 And then he went from the Atkins diet every day to he would have like a Sunday and Sunday would be his cheat day.
02:49:10.000 And then Sunday started kicking in around Saturday at midnight.
02:49:14.000 Yeah.
02:49:15.000 Yeah, that's it. 1.00
02:49:16.000 And so then he said, well, fuck it, man. 0.99
02:49:18.000 If it's Saturday at midnight, why don't I just do the whole weekend? 1.00
02:49:20.000 I don't want to worry about this.
02:49:22.000 Let me start.
02:49:22.000 I'll start it.
02:49:24.000 I'll start the cheat day on Friday.
02:49:26.000 So he went Friday, Saturday.
02:49:28.000 So it was basically four days Atkinson.
02:49:31.000 When he did one day, when he did one day, he was legendary with what he would throw down. 1.00
02:49:37.000 I mean, he would eat stacks of fucking pancakes. 0.99
02:49:40.000 He would eat bowls of ice cream, cheeseburgers, pizza. 1.00
02:49:44.000 He would go off.
02:49:45.000 I mean, just go off.
02:49:46.000 And he would do it with such lust.
02:49:48.000 Like a guy who had been depriving himself for six days.
02:49:51.000 That's exactly how it was.
02:49:53.000 It was very therapeutic.
02:49:55.000 Like, what is the most disgust that you ever felt with yourself on a cheat day?
02:50:00.000 Oh, that was the first cheat day is when I went in.
02:50:04.000 Yeah, I went to IHOP for breakfast and had the country fried steak with scrambled eggs and cheese, and then I had the pancakes, and then later on I had pizza as a snack.
02:50:13.000 Oh my god.
02:50:14.000 And then I went to Tommy's, because Five Guys was too far, because I really wanted Five Guys that day.
02:50:20.000 Dude, I had chicken fried steak in Montana.
02:50:23.000 Would they really know how to make it, like rancher style?
02:50:26.000 With that thick gravy?
02:50:28.000 Oh, yeah.
02:50:30.000 It's just so good though.
02:50:31.000 It was a glorious cheat meal.
02:50:33.000 It was smothered in this luscious gravy.
02:50:39.000 See, you don't get that from healthy food.
02:50:42.000 No, I know.
02:50:43.000 You don't get that feeling.
02:50:44.000 There's a crazy carb load feeling that you get.
02:50:48.000 It's a weird warmth.
02:50:52.000 It's a good warmth.
02:50:53.000 A bowl of spaghetti with meatballs?
02:50:55.000 Like when you're sucking down that? 1.00
02:50:57.000 I'm a big fan of the fettuccine alfredo with the chicken, but I usually use penne noodles because I don't want to be slapped in the face with fucking fettuccine noodles. 0.99
02:51:07.000 That's a good move. 0.99
02:51:07.000 That's a good move as well. 0.99
02:51:09.000 I'm particularly fond of linguine with clams with white sauce.
02:51:13.000 Done correctly, no can defend.
02:51:18.000 There's no takedown defense to the linguine with clams.
02:51:20.000 You know what else is really good, man?
02:51:24.000 Lobster fra diavolo with linguine.
02:51:26.000 I do not know this.
02:51:27.000 Oh my goodness.
02:51:29.000 You're half a time, you know these things.
02:51:31.000 Three quarters.
02:51:32.000 Three quarters.
02:51:32.000 One quarter Irish.
02:51:33.000 Yeah, it's a spicy tomato sauce with lobster and spaghetti. 0.99
02:51:41.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 0.99
02:51:43.000 Christ. 1.00
02:51:44.000 Jesus Christ, Russell Peters.
02:51:47.000 It's so good.
02:51:47.000 I think you're going to have a cheat day today.
02:51:49.000 You have it with garlic bread and you put some Parmesan cheese on top of it. 0.99
02:51:54.000 Just some grated Parmesan on top of that bitch. 1.00
02:52:00.000 Damn, that's good. 1.00
02:52:01.000 It's so good. 0.99
02:52:02.000 People tell you that you never should put cheese on seafood.
02:52:05.000 Like, if you get linguine with clams, they tell you not to put the cheese on.
02:52:08.000 And oftentimes, if you go to a proper Italian restaurant, they get mad at you if you try to put cheese on that linguine and clam sauce. 1.00
02:52:16.000 Those people are assholes. 1.00
02:52:18.000 They don't know shit. 1.00
02:52:19.000 Italians are very protective of the way things are done. 1.00
02:52:24.000 In Toronto, the Italians are first generation, so everybody speaks Italian, and And they are very Italian.
02:52:30.000 And I love Italian sandwiches. 0.99
02:52:32.000 And they get so mad when I walk into the fucking Italian store. 1.00
02:52:35.000 They're happy to see me at first. 1.00
02:52:37.000 Hey, hey.
02:52:38.000 And then I pick the bread.
02:52:39.000 And then they go, what do you want on it?
02:52:41.000 I go, ah.
02:52:41.000 Do you have any gluten-free pasta?
02:52:42.000 No, I go, you're going to get mad.
02:52:44.000 I need butter on the bread.
02:52:46.000 What?
02:52:47.000 And then I go, and then I pick the meats.
02:52:50.000 And they're like, all right, that's it.
02:52:52.000 And I go.
02:52:53.000 Can I get some mayonnaise on that, too? 1.00
02:52:55.000 Ah, for fuck's sake, you want me to shit on the bread, too? 1.00
02:52:57.000 They get so mad! 1.00
02:53:00.000 They literally ask me if you want me to shit on your sandwich, too, because you're fucking it up, kid. 1.00
02:53:05.000 Well, how can they do that when they're asking you what they like on it? 1.00
02:53:08.000 That's one way Subway's superior.
02:53:10.000 Subway does not give you a hard time for your choices, you know?
02:53:13.000 You could just say salami with hot peppers.
02:53:15.000 They're like, okay.
02:53:16.000 And that's why it's Subway, not Subwayo! 1.00
02:53:18.000 Oh, this fucking guy! 0.99
02:53:21.000 But Kevin James and I went to this Italian restaurant once, and we both wanted linguine with clams with the cheese. 1.00
02:53:27.000 And it was like, are you going to ask for the cheese?
02:53:29.000 I'm going to ask for the cheese.
02:53:30.000 Okay, I'll ask for the cheese if you ask for the cheese.
02:53:32.000 Because they don't want to give it to you.
02:53:34.000 They want to give you the linguine with clams, and if you have a dish right next to me...
02:53:37.000 Is he training with Eddie, Kevin James?
02:53:43.000 Well, he's done a lot of training with Bas Rutten.
02:53:45.000 Oh, that's right, with Bas.
02:53:47.000 And he did some stuff with Ray Longo.
02:53:49.000 Kevin's actually a really accomplished martial artist.
02:53:51.000 He's got really good hands, very good kicks.
02:53:54.000 He's a real martial artist. 0.99
02:53:56.000 He's a big guy, but he can fucking hit hard. 0.99
02:53:59.000 It's kind of surprising. 0.99
02:54:01.000 If you ever see him hit the bag or hit the pads with Mark Delgrate, it's pretty impressive.
02:54:06.000 He doesn't look like a professional fighter, but he's a very competent martial artist.
02:54:12.000 But didn't want to ask for that cheese, neither did I. Gotta keep that cheese coming.
02:54:17.000 But if you were right next to me and you had spaghetti with red sauce and meatballs, they would offer you the cheese.
02:54:22.000 Would you like some cheese?
02:54:23.000 So you'd make somebody order that on the side?
02:54:25.000 No, you would be right next to me and he would offer you the cheese and they would walk away.
02:54:28.000 And I'd be like, what about me?
02:54:30.000 And they're like, sir, we do not recommend the cheese for this because it would be too delicious.
02:54:35.000 Yeah.
02:54:35.000 You wouldn't be able to handle it.
02:54:36.000 Yeah.
02:54:37.000 We don't want your euphoria.
02:54:39.000 Well, they have a very specific taste that you want to take in.
02:54:42.000 They want you to take in the taste of the noodles, the olive oil, the spices, and the clams.
02:54:47.000 That's it.
02:54:48.000 It's perfection.
02:54:49.000 Take it in.
02:54:49.000 Take it in like that.
02:54:50.000 Yeah.
02:54:51.000 Like, no.
02:54:52.000 I need to add my own perfection to this perfection. 1.00
02:54:54.000 I need cheese on this motherfucker. 1.00
02:54:55.000 You got any ketchup? 1.00
02:54:56.000 Oh, my daughter.
02:54:57.000 My daughter loves the cheese, too, so she'll be like, when I make her a little pasta, she'll be like, Daddy, can I put the cheese? 0.99
02:55:02.000 And then she takes it and fucking dumps it on there. 1.00
02:55:05.000 Kids love cheese. 1.00
02:55:06.000 Tastes good.
02:55:07.000 Plus, it's rewarding you in some sort of weird lactose way.
02:55:10.000 It's giving you some weird, very slow trickle.
02:55:13.000 Helping the bones.
02:55:13.000 Helping the bones.
02:55:14.000 Supposedly, right?
02:55:15.000 Calcium?
02:55:16.000 Yeah.
02:55:17.000 But cheese is way better when it's raw.
02:55:19.000 You ever have raw cheese?
02:55:21.000 No, I have not.
02:55:22.000 I've been getting into raw cheese.
02:55:23.000 Like the curds you made?
02:55:24.000 No, raw cheese.
02:55:25.000 Like get cheese from a place that uses raw milk.
02:55:28.000 Mm-hmm.
02:55:30.000 I've been getting into that and drinking raw milk.
02:55:32.000 I've been drinking a lot of raw milk lately.
02:55:34.000 You don't eat goat's milk?
02:55:35.000 I have drinking raw goat's milk, but no, just raw cow's milk.
02:55:39.000 You can get it from some sustainable farms and some like Air One carries it.
02:55:46.000 You drink it cold though, right?
02:55:47.000 Yeah, it tastes delicious, dude.
02:55:48.000 It's so much better.
02:55:49.000 It goes down easier.
02:55:51.000 Like, regular milk feels weird.
02:55:53.000 And one of the reasons why regular milk feels weird is because it's homogenized and pasteurized, and apparently there's enzymes in milk that when you're boiling the milk to treat it and make it sort of last longer and so it doesn't have any disease in it, you're killing all the good stuff, too.
02:56:07.000 So your body's drinking this weird liquidy protein that doesn't exactly know what to do with.
02:56:12.000 It's like doing chemotherapy on milk.
02:56:13.000 Kills everything.
02:56:14.000 A lot of it, yeah.
02:56:15.000 In a lot of ways it is, yeah.
02:56:17.000 It's just boiling the fuck out of it.
02:56:19.000 But when you don't have it that way, when you just have cold, raw milk, it's way better.
02:56:24.000 It tastes better.
02:56:25.000 It feels smooth when it goes down.
02:56:27.000 It's one thing that people comment on when they drink it.
02:56:31.000 They're like, wow, it's really smooth.
02:56:33.000 Because it's got all the stuff in it that you're supposed to drink.
02:56:36.000 And people tell you, like, oh, you're not supposed to drink animal milk.
02:56:39.000 Does it smell different?
02:56:39.000 No.
02:56:40.000 It tastes a little different.
02:56:41.000 It tastes better.
02:56:42.000 To me, I think it tastes better.
02:56:45.000 I mean, some people like low-fat milk. 1.00
02:56:47.000 I think that shit's disgusting. 1.00
02:56:48.000 I'd rather just drink water. 1.00
02:56:51.000 Low-fat milk tastes weird.
02:56:52.000 In coffee, I like to put half and half.
02:56:54.000 I like that, too.
02:56:55.000 This is getting to a what-do-I-like show.
02:56:58.000 Yeah, I do like me some.
02:56:59.000 Welcome to the Joe Rogan Experience, where we're talking about coffee and things we like in it.
02:57:03.000 So back when there was like Milkman delivering milk every day, would it have been... 1.00
02:57:06.000 And fucking your wife! 1.00
02:57:08.000 Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. 1.00
02:57:09.000 That's what they did.
02:57:10.000 Maybe raw milk, because they had to do it all the time. 0.98
02:57:12.000 Oh, it was 100% raw milk, probably.
02:57:14.000 I wonder when they came up with the homogenization process.
02:57:18.000 Homogination, once they did come up with the pasteurization that's Louis Pasteur, you gotta find that's interesting.
02:57:24.000 I wonder how much of that was raw, and how much of it was pasteurized, and when they started doing that on a big scale.
02:57:30.000 But it's imperative if you want to keep it on the shelf.
02:57:32.000 Like, you're not gonna be able to keep raw milk on the shelf for very long.
02:57:36.000 Because I've had it in my house for just a couple of days, and it noticeably goes bad in the refrigerator.
02:57:40.000 Not bad to where you can't drink it, but to where it's like, wow, this is on the door of getting funky.
02:57:48.000 Sorry kid, I have to text my ex-wife because I gotta pick up my daughter.
02:57:53.000 What do you got there, Jamie?
02:57:55.000 I found a weird milk, milestones of milk history of the U.S. In 1950, there was milk vending machines.
02:58:01.000 Whoa.
02:58:02.000 But when did they start?
02:58:04.000 I was trying to find out.
02:58:04.000 There's a lot of first compulsory pasteurization law in Chicago applying to milk, except that from tuberculin-tested cows, 1908. 1908. Tuberculin?
02:58:18.000 Hmm.
02:58:19.000 What is that?
02:58:21.000 Is that tuberculosis?
02:58:23.000 Is that brucellosis?
02:58:25.000 Is that brucellosis?
02:58:28.000 Brucellosis is something that cows get that I know...
02:58:31.000 It's like one of the main concerns about different wildlife populations mingling, especially buffalo.
02:58:41.000 Like some buffalo have brucellosis and they can get it to cows.
02:58:44.000 It says, 1919 homogenized milk was sold successfully for the first time in Connecticut, and then a couple more years passed by before, let's see, first farm bulk tanks for milk began replacing milk cans in 1938,
02:59:00.000 and then every other day milk delivery started in 42, and then it was added to school lunches in 46. Yeah, but when it was in 42, was that homogenized and pasteurized milk when they started?
02:59:11.000 Initially as a war conservation measure.
02:59:13.000 Hmm.
02:59:13.000 I wonder.
02:59:14.000 If they do it every day and you have an icebox in your house, you probably don't have to.
02:59:19.000 That's kind of crazy, though.
02:59:20.000 They relied on a guy to come by with the milk.
02:59:21.000 Like, that's how everybody got their milk.
02:59:23.000 Also, people's lifespans, life expectancies were a lot shorter back then.
02:59:27.000 It was.
02:59:27.000 So is this a good thing or a bad thing that we did?
02:59:30.000 Um, they were shorter then?
02:59:32.000 Is that what you're saying?
02:59:33.000 Yeah.
02:59:34.000 Yeah.
02:59:34.000 Well, that's because people didn't understand medicine or vitamins.
02:59:38.000 True.
02:59:38.000 Talking 1930. Yeah.
02:59:40.000 They just knocked you over the head when they had to do surgery.
02:59:43.000 Yeah.
02:59:43.000 My dad had scurvy when he was a kid.
02:59:45.000 No way.
02:59:46.000 For real?
02:59:47.000 No, not scurvy.
02:59:48.000 Rickets.
02:59:49.000 He had rickets.
02:59:50.000 Oh, man.
02:59:50.000 He had rickets.
02:59:52.000 Where does that come from?
02:59:53.000 I don't know.
02:59:53.000 Nutrition or something?
02:59:54.000 He just had it when he was a baby and then it stunted his growth, so he only became like five at his tallest, maybe 5'3", 5'4".
03:00:01.000 I think when we get older in our lifetimes, there's going to come a point in time where they laugh at people being sick or people being injured.
03:00:12.000 I think they're going to be able to repair bodies perfectly.
03:00:14.000 They're going to be able to regenerate limbs.
03:00:16.000 Within the next 50, 100 years, there's probably going to be so many crazy advancements to medical science.
03:00:22.000 We're going to look back on injuries and the treatment of injuries the way we do it today. 0.97
03:00:27.000 Well, that's, I think, you know, once they get that stem cell shit, right? 0.95
03:00:31.000 Have you had any of that yet? 0.99
03:00:33.000 No.
03:00:33.000 You know, when I was in India last year on tour, this guy gave me some, like, face stuff to put on.
03:00:41.000 Give you a facial?
03:00:42.000 Yeah, he was really friendly.
03:00:45.000 And I just stood there and waited.
03:00:47.000 He gave me some sort of oil to rub on my face that had stem cells in it. 0.99
03:00:50.000 Probably bullshit. 0.99
03:00:51.000 Yeah. 0.99
03:00:51.000 And he was like, oh, you're going to see. 0.99
03:00:53.000 It's going to have an immediate effect.
03:00:54.000 Hey, call me, bro.
03:00:55.000 I'd love to do business with you.
03:00:56.000 And then I did it for like two months.
03:00:58.000 And I was like, nope, nothing.
03:00:59.000 All it did was give me a couple of pimples.
03:01:00.000 That's all it did. 1.00
03:01:01.000 Yeah, it's probably bullshit. 1.00
03:01:03.000 The real stem cell shit, they got it injecting you. 1.00
03:01:05.000 They have to keep it cold. 1.00
03:01:08.000 Yeah, it didn't do anything for me.
03:01:11.000 We're gonna be, I think, the first group of people to see people live, like, deep into the hundreds.
03:01:18.000 I think it's gonna be real weird.
03:01:19.000 Like, what is a 200-year-old healthy person gonna be like?
03:01:23.000 How strange is it gonna be if they really figure out a way to regenerate tissue And keep someone in a relatively healthy state.
03:01:31.000 And you get to see, like, the wisdom of someone that's 200, 300 years old.
03:01:35.000 Because, like, you're 40, what did you say you were?
03:01:37.000 46. 46. How much smarter are you than when you were 26?
03:01:41.000 A whole lot.
03:01:42.000 A whole lot, right?
03:01:44.000 A whole lot.
03:01:44.000 A whole lot.
03:01:44.000 If you lived to be 146, how much smarter would you be than you now?
03:01:49.000 I'd be pretty crazy.
03:01:49.000 As long as you're coherent.
03:01:50.000 What if you looked exactly the same?
03:01:52.000 That'd be pretty awesome.
03:01:53.000 That'd be strange.
03:01:54.000 That'd be strange but awesome. 1.00
03:01:55.000 Did you feel guilty if you were getting pussy at 146? 1.00
03:01:57.000 Nope. 1.00
03:02:00.000 I was getting pussy when I was fighting at 147. Back in the day! 1.00
03:02:07.000 I think if they can get the HGH thing right and make it cancer-free, I think there's a possibility.
03:02:14.000 There's no correlation between HGH and cancer.
03:02:17.000 The correlation is between abuse of HGH and some issues and also cancer with a bunch of different factors.
03:02:26.000 Environmental factors, factors like diet, factors like heredity. 0.96
03:02:31.000 There's a bunch of different shit, but there's a concern about That if you are supplementing with human growth hormone and a cancer grows in your body, that it could grow more. 0.96
03:02:42.000 That is a concern. 0.99
03:02:43.000 But I don't think there's any real evidence to support that concern that I've ever read.
03:02:48.000 But what's interesting about cancer that I've been reading a lot about is when you get your body to...
03:02:54.000 If you get your body to a place where it's...
03:02:58.000 You stew a bunch of different chemicals that are in the environment, whether it's pollutants or whether it's something that you work with, like people that work around really strong chemicals,
03:03:13.000 people that work with automotive stuff, like all the bondos and epoxies and all that.
03:03:21.000 Those people, their cancer numbers, whenever you work with a lot of chemicals, your cancer numbers get crazy high.
03:03:28.000 Like that seems to be where the big risk is, is diet and people that work around chemicals.
03:03:34.000 There's a lot of people that are out there that they just took a job because it's a good job and it pays well, but you're in like a slow death sentence.
03:03:43.000 Absolutely. 1.00
03:03:45.000 That fucking sucks, man. 1.00
03:03:47.000 That's got to be the weirdest way to make a living, to be trapped in a gig where your very job itself is slowly chewing away your body. 1.00
03:03:55.000 Well, you were doing comedy in the 90s as well. 0.99
03:03:57.000 I remember going to clubs for the whole weekend and be full of fucking smoke. 0.99
03:04:01.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98
03:04:02.000 I remember just leaving gigs. 0.99
03:04:05.000 You'd fucking reek. 0.99
03:04:06.000 You couldn't wear the same clothes twice. 0.99
03:04:08.000 You had to shower as soon as you got back home.
03:04:11.000 Oftentimes you didn't realize it until you open up your bag, right?
03:04:14.000 Yeah, you open up your clothes, take your clothes out when you got home. 1.00
03:04:16.000 You're like, what the fuck? 1.00
03:04:18.000 They just stunk like cigarettes. 1.00
03:04:21.000 But cigarettes, if you're a waitress, it's the worst. 1.00
03:04:24.000 Because you're directly in the line of fire with them then.
03:04:26.000 And you're there all the time.
03:04:28.000 Like in the days when they used to be able to smoke in bars, I bet a lot of chicks got, a lot of waitresses got cancer from secondhand smoke. 1.00
03:04:36.000 Yeah, I just remember, and the worse the gig, the more the smoke for some reason.
03:04:40.000 It's just crazy that wasn't that long ago.
03:04:42.000 It really wasn't.
03:04:44.000 It wasn't.
03:04:45.000 I remember when they banned smoke.
03:04:46.000 It must have been around 2000 maybe?
03:04:48.000 99 maybe at the latest.
03:04:51.000 Yeah, the weird improvements like that that happened that are pretty goddamn significant at the time.
03:04:56.000 People are protesting like, we want to smoke in bars.
03:04:59.000 We know what we want.
03:05:00.000 I remember people complaining, saying that pool halls were going to go out of business because they wouldn't allow people to smoke in them anymore.
03:05:07.000 People had to stand outside to smoke.
03:05:08.000 In the old days, everybody smoked indoors. 1.00
03:05:12.000 It's a fucking weird, gross habit. 0.99
03:05:14.000 I remember smoking on planes. 0.99
03:05:15.000 Remember that?
03:05:16.000 You know Fitzsimmons, right?
03:05:17.000 Yeah.
03:05:18.000 Fitzsimmons' parents were chain smokers when he was a kid.
03:05:22.000 And they lived in Boston, so it's the winter.
03:05:25.000 And the windows are closed, locked down, and they are smoking in the house, chain smoking with the kids.
03:05:32.000 Greg gets asthma.
03:05:32.000 He's got asthma from this.
03:05:34.000 They'd be in the car going on a road trip, smoking in the car, windows...
03:05:38.000 My friend's father smoked. 1.00
03:05:40.000 He would do that shit in the car. 1.00
03:05:41.000 Wintertime wouldn't roll down the window. 1.00
03:05:42.000 Fuck it, it's too cold. 1.00
03:05:44.000 Make everybody breathe your smoke. 1.00
03:05:47.000 Is there any habit like that where you force the consequences of your habit on other people?
03:05:52.000 Maybe alcoholism.
03:05:53.000 Imagine if you dated someone and they farted on you so much, your clothes smelled like farts.
03:05:59.000 He'd be like, God, she just keeps farting.
03:06:02.000 She's always farting on me. 0.99
03:06:03.000 I like that we blamed it on her.
03:06:05.000 Well, I'm saying if you dated someone...
03:06:07.000 I'm saying if you dated someone, I mean, I'm assuming you're not dating any dudes.
03:06:10.000 No, not anymore. 0.99
03:06:11.000 But if you were dating a dude, and that dude just farted all over you, you'd come home, you're like, Mike, we can't fuck anymore. 1.00
03:06:17.000 Every time I take my clothes out of the bag, I smell farts. 0.99
03:06:20.000 I bring it home, people go, was somebody farting on you?
03:06:23.000 Yeah, Mike was farting all over me.
03:06:25.000 I'm surprised my lady doesn't smell like farts. 1.00
03:06:28.000 I rip on her all night while we're sleeping. 0.95
03:06:30.000 He's addicted to farts. 0.99
03:06:32.000 And on her leg, too. 0.93
03:06:33.000 She doesn't even flinch.
03:06:33.000 She doesn't flinch when you fart on her?
03:06:36.000 She's like, you're alive, huh? 0.60
03:06:38.000 Wow, you just fart on her? 0.68
03:06:40.000 Well, it's not like I'm trying to. 0.68
03:06:41.000 Do you guys talk about it?
03:06:43.000 Does it come up?
03:06:44.000 She kind of giggles about it.
03:06:46.000 Wow.
03:06:46.000 She's a trooper.
03:06:47.000 She is a trooper.
03:06:48.000 Thug life.
03:06:49.000 Yeah.
03:06:50.000 That's not good.
03:06:52.000 Farting on people.
03:06:54.000 But it's essentially what people are doing with cigarette smokes, right?
03:06:57.000 It was just getting in your clothes and you were smelling like cigarette smoke.
03:07:01.000 You were making people smell like what you were into.
03:07:05.000 Yeah.
03:07:05.000 And whatever disease you were susceptible to, so are you now.
03:07:11.000 It doesn't smell as bad as a fart.
03:07:14.000 But it's just...
03:07:15.000 It's as obnoxious.
03:07:17.000 It's in the neighborhood, right? 0.93
03:07:19.000 It's like a hard left from a fart, but it's still gross. 0.69
03:07:23.000 Yeah. 0.99
03:07:24.000 But it doesn't smell like shit, right? 1.00
03:07:26.000 No, a fart is, as George Carlin said, shit without the mess. 1.00
03:07:29.000 Is that what he said? 1.00
03:07:30.000 Yeah.
03:07:31.000 Let's end it on that.
03:07:32.000 That's the perfect way to end this thing.
03:07:34.000 Powerful George Carlin from beyond the grave gets the best line of the show.
03:07:37.000 Hilarious.
03:07:40.000 Powerful, powerful Russell Peters.
03:07:41.000 Thank you very much for coming in here, dude.
03:07:43.000 It was fun.
03:07:43.000 Thanks, Joe.
03:07:44.000 Appreciate it.
03:07:45.000 And Indian food.
03:07:46.000 We're going to make it happen, right?
03:07:47.000 Yeah, definitely.
03:07:48.000 The real deal?
03:07:48.000 Real deal.
03:07:49.000 Okay.
03:07:50.000 Non-bread?
03:07:51.000 Garlic non-bread? 1.00
03:07:51.000 Is that the real deal or is that American bullshit? 1.00
03:07:53.000 No, that's North Indian. 1.00
03:07:55.000 You need to make that right.
03:07:57.000 Otherwise, you're getting the North American one.
03:07:59.000 Okay.
03:08:00.000 You need a special oven for that. 0.98
03:08:01.000 This podcast is over. 1.00
03:08:03.000 See you next week, fuckers. 0.99
03:08:09.000 Thought we did what we could with it. 1.00