The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #867 - Joey Diaz

00:00:04.000 Yeah, it makes me sad.

00:00:05.000 It makes me sad if you tell me that you hear people saying anything bad about Gabriel.

00:00:09.000 Like, he's that guy, like, that when I think about people, like, there's a few comics that everybody loves.

00:00:16.000 Like, Ron White's one of them.

00:00:17.000 If you say something bad about Ron White... 0.54

00:00:19.000 You might get points in the mouth.

00:00:20.000 I can't talk to you.

00:00:21.000 Even agents, like, love Ron White.

00:00:23.000 Like, he's changed their lives. 0.99

00:00:24.000 Yeah, if you start talking shit about Ron White, I don't have anything to say to you. 0.99

00:00:28.000 Like, there's no way. 0.99

00:00:29.000 There's no way.

00:00:31.000 Unless he was, like, really drunk.

00:00:33.000 I can see Ron.

00:00:34.000 Ron's wife told this story on Opie and Anthony. 0.99

00:00:36.000 He was like fucking 57 years old. 0.98

00:00:38.000 He got in a fist fight at some bar because some woman was taking a picture with him and the boyfriend didn't like it. 0.99

00:00:46.000 So the boyfriend was drunk.

00:00:47.000 She came over to Ron.

00:00:48.000 Ron punched him in the face.

00:00:50.000 Now he has to bring a cop with him everywhere he goes.

00:00:53.000 That's right.

00:00:54.000 He brings a cop with him.

00:00:55.000 That's right.

00:00:55.000 He told me he brings a cop with him.

00:00:57.000 He's got to hire a cop to make sure he doesn't punch people.

00:01:00.000 Or they don't punch him.

00:01:03.000 He's the best.

00:01:04.000 God, what a good dude.

00:01:05.000 I got this call from Comedy Central to come down and showcase at the Irvine Improv and I had to be spotless clean for 10 minutes.

00:01:12.000 And I go down and I really worked on it and I just pulled away some stuff and then they called me and they said, you're not in it.

00:01:18.000 And I go, okay.

00:01:19.000 They go, you'll make the cut next year.

00:01:20.000 So I called Gabriel and thanked him.

00:01:22.000 He goes, what are you talking about?

00:01:24.000 You're not in it.

00:01:25.000 Give me five minutes.

00:01:26.000 And he calls back.

00:01:26.000 He goes, you're doing it.

00:01:27.000 You're taping it, okay?

00:01:28.000 So the whole time, I'm thinking I'm doing this seven-minute TV set.

00:01:32.000 The day of the taping, he pulled me over and he goes, listen, you're going crazy tonight.

00:01:37.000 I go, but I've been working on this material. 1.00

00:01:39.000 He goes, I don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:01:40.000 He goes, I want you to go crazy. 1.00

00:01:41.000 He goes, I'm going to pay for the show.

00:01:43.000 He goes, I'm paying for it out of my pocket.

00:01:45.000 If it makes the cut, it makes the cut.

00:01:47.000 If not, it's for me.

00:01:48.000 He goes, I just want it for me.

00:01:50.000 He paid for the episode to get shot.

00:01:52.000 They only got picked up for six.

00:01:54.000 They shot seven.

00:01:55.000 Because he wanted me to go off.

00:01:57.000 Oh, wow.

00:01:58.000 So, at the end, the whole day, I'm thinking I'm going down.

00:02:01.000 That Saturday, I get down.

00:02:02.000 He's like, no, no, no. 1.00

00:02:03.000 You're doing fucking dirty shit. 1.00

00:02:05.000 And he goes, I planned it this way. 1.00

00:02:07.000 He goes, I don't give a fuck what they tell you. 0.99

00:02:09.000 He goes, I want you to work this way for a reason. 0.99

00:02:12.000 I brought you down here for a reason.

00:02:14.000 He goes, worst case scenario, you make the DVD. You follow me?

00:02:18.000 Like, he fought for me to work dirty.

00:02:21.000 And they got me on Comedy Central.

00:02:23.000 Wow.

00:02:24.000 See, that's the feeling I always get from him.

00:02:25.000 Just seems like a real good guy.

00:02:28.000 You know?

00:02:29.000 I've never heard anybody say a bad word about Gabriel.

00:02:32.000 Ever.

00:02:33.000 Well, listen, there's comics that know this, and you know this, that the more you help out younger comics, the better it is for you.

00:02:42.000 You learn.

00:02:42.000 You look at younger guys and you learn little things.

00:02:45.000 Sure.

00:02:45.000 Sometimes I go to the comedy store and I see a younger comic say something on stage.

00:02:50.000 I'll hire him because of that reason.

00:02:51.000 Like, I'll say, hey, what are you doing next Tuesday?

00:02:53.000 You want to do the Ice House or whatever?

00:02:54.000 Just because something they do, you know?

00:02:57.000 But it's all so good for you.

00:02:59.000 You did it for us.

00:03:00.000 You helped us out.

00:03:01.000 It made you a stronger comic, you know?

00:03:04.000 Anybody knows that helping other guys along the way is great.

00:03:08.000 Gabriel rides six deep.

00:03:09.000 You think he needs to ride six deep?

00:03:12.000 Six deep.

00:03:13.000 Before you go see Gabriel, you gotta see eight guys.

00:03:16.000 Spanish songs, a Mexican band, because he'll put you up.

00:03:20.000 Yeah.

00:03:20.000 He doesn't care.

00:03:21.000 That's beautiful.

00:03:22.000 You gotta make a living?

00:03:23.000 Come on down. 0.94

00:03:24.000 That's beautiful.

00:03:25.000 There's not a whole lot of guys like him.

00:03:27.000 No, they'd be suspect that you're funnier than them, or you're gonna try this.

00:03:30.000 No, no, no, no.

00:03:31.000 Yeah.

00:03:32.000 Come on down. 0.94

00:03:32.000 What do you want to eat? 0.94

00:03:34.000 You can't worry about that.

00:03:35.000 Everybody worries about that, but you can't.

00:03:37.000 The fun is in working with the best guys.

00:03:40.000 The fun is in...

00:03:43.000 And also seeing all these different stages.

00:03:46.000 Like when you take a young guy on the road with you, or when you see a young guy do a really good set at the store, you recognize those moments where...

00:03:56.000 When you were young, and you were just starting to figure your material out, and you were just starting to figure out how to really get to the heart of the matter quicker, or what's actually funny about this, what's clouding my judgement where I can't figure out how to get this funny, but occasionally these sparks shine through and you have a killer bit.

00:04:15.000 Everybody knows a young guy who, in the early months, will have one bit. 0.96

00:04:20.000 When you see that bit and you go, this motherfucker's funny. 1.00

00:04:23.000 He's saying some shit. 1.00

00:04:24.000 He might not have it right now, but this motherfucker's funny. 1.00

00:04:27.000 And when you see someone who's got that, it makes you really aware of that whole process. 0.98

00:04:35.000 The whole process of just getting your legs under you as a comic and doing it.

00:04:40.000 And when you're around people who are also doing that, it feeds off of it.

00:04:46.000 You could stay hungry deep into your career just by continuing to create material and continuing to be around other guys who are hungry.

00:04:56.000 And when you're doing that, one of the things that's going on in our little group that's so dynamic is that everybody is hustling.

00:05:05.000 Everybody is doing a podcast.

00:05:07.000 Everybody's doing their stand-up.

00:05:09.000 Everybody's recording specials.

00:05:11.000 Everybody's doing tours. 1.00

00:05:12.000 Everybody's doing shit. 1.00

00:05:14.000 There's a lot going on. 1.00

00:05:15.000 And it's all new stuff.

00:05:16.000 You know?

00:05:17.000 Like Ari.

00:05:18.000 He's got a new one he's doing in Austin.

00:05:20.000 If you're in Austin, Texas.

00:05:21.000 Next weekend.

00:05:22.000 The 5th.

00:05:22.000 Yeah, Saturday.

00:05:23.000 The 5th.

00:05:24.000 Ari's doing his special at Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, which is one of the best clubs on the planet.

00:05:30.000 And I don't think it's sold out.

00:05:31.000 I think there's a little bit of tickets left.

00:05:34.000 But probably gone soon. 1.00

00:05:35.000 But his new shit, he's on fire. 1.00

00:05:38.000 This is the time to see him. 1.00

00:05:39.000 Ari's never been better.

00:05:40.000 He's never been better. 0.97

00:05:42.000 He's crazier than ever. 0.97

00:05:43.000 He's crazier than ever. 1.00

00:05:44.000 Crazier than fucking ever. 1.00

00:05:45.000 He's beautiful. 0.99

00:05:45.000 That's why I love him. 0.99

00:05:46.000 I can't judge him.

00:05:48.000 I just sit there and listen to the conversation.

00:05:49.000 I always ask him, you walking around New York without a t-shirt on?

00:05:52.000 You know it.

00:05:53.000 I gotta go. 0.99

00:05:55.000 Ari, he genuinely doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:05:57.000 He doesn't give a fuck anymore. 1.00

00:05:59.000 He became like... 1.00

00:06:01.000 The don't give a fuck scale, he became like the new metric of not giving a fuck. 1.00

00:06:08.000 There's levels of giving a fuck, you know? 1.00

00:06:11.000 You and I can't claim that we don't give a fuck the way he does, because we have families. 1.00

00:06:16.000 Ari Shafir is free. 1.00

00:06:18.000 If Ari Shafir just got a vasectomy, he would give even less of a fuck. 1.00

00:06:23.000 That would be like the last straw of fuck that he has left in his body. 1.00

00:06:28.000 He's a barbarian. 1.00

00:06:29.000 You know what show killed me when I did it?

00:06:32.000 Love it. 0.99

00:06:33.000 You know what show, like, fucked with me when I did it? 0.98

00:06:35.000 Tony Hinchcliffe's show. 0.98

00:06:36.000 On Monday nights, the really good podcast he does at the store, the one where he- Kill Tony? 0.86

00:06:40.000 Yeah, Kill Tony.

00:06:41.000 Oh, when you're watching the one-minute people go up?

00:06:43.000 I went down there one night, and I didn't, it wasn't about the material, it wasn't about anything but the look of their eyes.

00:06:49.000 Yeah.

00:06:49.000 I remembered that look in your eye, bro.

00:06:52.000 When you don't have dinner in you. 1.00

00:06:53.000 And your car's got on E. And your job sucks. 0.99

00:06:57.000 And here you are swinging. 0.99

00:06:58.000 I left there and I couldn't sleep that night.

00:07:00.000 Because I went back to 94 when I used to go back to my room and cry and write what clubs I wanted to perform.

00:07:06.000 And someday I'll be good enough to be at the punchline.

00:07:09.000 Just write that down.

00:07:10.000 I'm going to pee there.

00:07:11.000 Yeah, we get that San Francisco newspaper, Just for Laughs.

00:07:15.000 And at the end of Just for Laughs, the last three pages, they had a comedy guide from Alaska all the way to Wyoming of all the comedy club listings, whether they were one-nighters or not.

00:07:24.000 And I'd just sit there and circle them in a notebook and do a line of coke and cry. 0.97

00:07:29.000 Someday, someday I'll be at the fucking Rusty Crow. 0.99

00:07:34.000 But that's when I went to Tony Hinchcliffe's show. 0.98

00:07:36.000 You know what it reminded me of?

00:07:38.000 What was that movie?

00:07:39.000 What Rocky movie?

00:07:40.000 Did they take him back to the ghetto to train him?

00:07:42.000 Rocky III? When they walked in, all the black dudes had veins in their eyes and shit. 1.00

00:07:46.000 They're like, yeah, what up? 1.00

00:07:47.000 They didn't give a fuck. 0.99

00:07:48.000 He was Rocky. 0.99

00:07:49.000 And he's like, remember all these guys, Rock?

00:07:51.000 This used to be you.

00:07:53.000 Yes, this used to be you.

00:07:54.000 Look at their eyes, Rock.

00:07:55.000 What was that?

00:07:56.000 Was that Rocky III? Was it Jamie?

00:07:59.000 Jamie's on it already.

00:08:00.000 Alright, so two, he fights Apollo again.

00:08:02.000 And three, he fights Buster Lang.

00:08:05.000 Clubber.

00:08:05.000 Clubber Lang, I'm sorry.

00:08:06.000 Hate woman! 1.00

00:08:07.000 Was it three guys? 0.99

00:08:10.000 I bet you'd stay up every night wishing you had a real man.

00:08:13.000 Was it three?

00:08:14.000 I'll bring your pretty little self over to my apartment tonight, and I'll show you a real man. 1.00

00:08:17.000 And that was it.

00:08:18.000 I rock, you couldn't take it anymore. 0.99

00:08:22.000 That was a great fucking movie. 0.99

00:08:24.000 The one with Clubber kids? 1.00

00:08:25.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

00:08:26.000 With Mr. T. Dude, Mr. T was one of the most terrifying fucking villains ever in a boxing movie. 1.00

00:08:32.000 Not Joe Rogan. 0.98

00:08:33.000 Do you remember The Doorman Challenge?

00:08:37.000 How he became famous?

00:08:40.000 No.

00:08:41.000 Okay, him...

00:08:42.000 Mr. T? Yeah, him and a bunch of other dudes on NBC, there was a show about either doormen or bouncers, and they did something, and that's how he was noticed.

00:08:52.000 Something weird.

00:08:53.000 There was a show about the toughest bouncers for a while, six episodes, and he was the main one.

00:08:58.000 Bouncers, doormen...

00:09:02.000 A 1980. It was like Wild World of Sports type thing.

00:09:05.000 Hey, go back to that for a second.

00:09:08.000 Jamie, to that Clubber Lang footage, the training footage.

00:09:11.000 I was under the impression that...

00:09:14.000 Like, I remember thinking that he really looked good as a boxer.

00:09:18.000 But I'm watching him shadowbox there and I'm like, what?

00:09:21.000 No, well Sylvester Stallone has a gift of throwing, like, smoke at you.

00:09:26.000 Everybody looks good while you're watching it.

00:09:28.000 I love that scene when Mickey was looking at the bubbles and he was getting mad.

00:09:31.000 Like, ugh!

00:09:33.000 Ugh! 0.97

00:09:35.000 If you, like, let it go, keep going, it'll show him shadowboxing.

00:09:41.000 Which sometimes people don't look that good when they're shadowboxing because they're just trying to loosen their body up.

00:09:47.000 There's a bunch of different, like right there, that does not look like a guy who actually knows how to punch.

00:09:52.000 But, you know...

00:09:54.000 It looks like a lot of swinging, you know?

00:09:57.000 Those aren't punches.

00:09:58.000 They're like a lot of arm movements.

00:10:00.000 Well, he's got a mean haircut at the time.

00:10:01.000 It's 1980. He didn't know what to expect.

00:10:03.000 There's a thing with shadowboxing.

00:10:05.000 Some people think that shadowboxing should just be a loosening up thing.

00:10:10.000 They just do it loose, and they let their shoulders go loose, and they try to work on their snap, and they try to move around.

00:10:17.000 But then there's some people that think you should treat it almost as if it's a fight, like as if you're simulating a fight.

00:10:23.000 Jamie, look this up.

00:10:24.000 Joseph Valtellini shadowboxing.

00:10:27.000 He's a glory kickboxing champ.

00:10:30.000 And he put out this video of how he shadowboxes.

00:10:34.000 And he shadowboxes like he's in a fight.

00:10:37.000 He doesn't think of it as time off or a warm-up or something like that.

00:10:41.000 What he does is he fights like a pretend opponent.

00:10:44.000 It's pretty interesting because a lot of guys don't do it that way.

00:10:47.000 Like, not to this extent.

00:10:49.000 Like, you know, guys, when you're shadowboxing, a lot of it is just you kind of loosen around.

00:10:54.000 You're doing it on your own pace. 1.00

00:10:55.000 You're working on your own shit. 0.99

00:10:57.000 But what he does is kind of more like... 1.00

00:10:59.000 He treats it like a different kind of a workout.

00:11:01.000 Justin Fortune does down at that gym, too.

00:11:03.000 Does he do the same?

00:11:03.000 They look at it as like a calorie burner.

00:11:06.000 In the beginning, really, they're just...

00:11:07.000 I mean, if you do it correctly, he says you should break a big sweat or something.

00:11:11.000 Yeah.

00:11:12.000 If you do it correctly, which I don't know, I'm just...

00:11:14.000 Well, it's a lot of people think it's like visualization they think might be as important as anything else.

00:11:21.000 Like everything's important.

00:11:22.000 You know, it's important to be in shape.

00:11:23.000 It's important to be strong.

00:11:24.000 It's important to have experience.

00:11:25.000 It's important to have really good technique.

00:11:28.000 But it's also important to visualize.

00:11:30.000 There's something about carving pathways in the brain. 1.00

00:11:34.000 And obviously, if you're a neuroscientist and you listen to this, you're like, oh my god, this idiot doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. 1.00

00:11:39.000 But there's something about carving pathways. 1.00

00:11:43.000 This is not it.

00:11:44.000 There's a different video of him.

00:11:46.000 No, do you do it with comedy?

00:11:47.000 Extreme shadowboxing.

00:11:49.000 He's throwing kicks and punches and knees and backing up.

00:11:52.000 Do you ever feel this would...

00:11:53.000 Stand-up like you see yourself on stage killing I've tried and I can't do it like positive realization No, I don't think it works with stand-up.

00:12:02.000 I think we really don't know I think with stand-up The the key is doing it I tried I thought the reefer fucked me up, but I couldn't come to focus like the visualizations Yeah, like I couldn't see myself on stage like walking out and seeing like people go I could see myself coming out in the garden.

00:12:20.000 I can't do that.

00:12:21.000 Here's here's Just for me personally.

00:12:24.000 Here's why I would try I would try not to think like that because if I if I visualized myself Doing something and doing it really well I wouldn't think of the thing I was doing anymore.

00:12:39.000 Then I'm thinking of the accolades or the position it is, or look, you're on a big stage, and look, you're at this place, and you're at Massey Hall in Toronto or something, some historic venue.

00:12:53.000 And then one day I was there.

00:12:55.000 That seems like you're thinking more about What success really is, is if you're doing something and you try to do it, do it the best you can.

00:13:07.000 Not the reaction that it gets.

00:13:09.000 So if I'm concentrating on the reaction, like I'm concentrating on going up there and killing, I would have to be visualizing doing a show.

00:13:18.000 So I'd have to be visualizing people laughing.

00:13:21.000 I can't do it.

00:13:21.000 I've tried.

00:13:22.000 I can't do it.

00:13:22.000 I've sat there, like, after the gym, tried to cool off and said, well, maybe I'll see myself killing for the special or whatever.

00:13:29.000 I didn't see any of that shit. 0.99

00:13:30.000 Doesn't that make sense though, that if you think of yourself as killing, you're thinking of other people laughing. 1.00

00:13:36.000 Yeah, I couldn't do it.

00:13:37.000 I couldn't do it.

00:13:38.000 But you're not thinking about yourself then, right?

00:13:40.000 So if you're visualizing skiing, you're thinking about skiing, right?

00:13:44.000 You're thinking about tucking, you're thinking about doing your moves in the correct way, you get the most amount of speed, the most amount of controls, you're headed down this hill, right?

00:13:52.000 You're not thinking about other people.

00:13:55.000 You're not thinking about other people's response to each one of those things you do. 0.99

00:13:59.000 Like, if every time you did a curve and you didn't get a laugh, you'd be like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:14:03.000 I thought I was skiing good. 0.97

00:14:04.000 You know, if you tell a joke well, you get a laugh, right?

00:14:08.000 But you don't want to think about that laugh.

00:14:09.000 You don't want to visualize a laugh.

00:14:11.000 You want to pretend that people are laughing at it.

00:14:13.000 You want to actually find out what's funny and have other people tell you for you.

00:14:17.000 You kind of know, but you don't really know until you do it in front of them, right?

00:14:22.000 So to visualize that is really weird because you're visualizing two different mindsets.

00:14:26.000 So you're not in the zone of actually being there.

00:14:29.000 You're visualizing artificial laughter.

00:14:33.000 I mean, I guess you could visualize the state that you feel in when you're killing, when you're really relaxed on stage and you're having a good time and everything's fun.

00:14:42.000 You could visualize that state.

00:14:44.000 That makes sense?

00:14:45.000 I can't do that either.

00:14:46.000 But I think even that state, you can only visualize it in chunks.

00:14:50.000 I shouldn't say only.

00:14:52.000 Maybe I could only do it in chunks.

00:14:55.000 I think it's better to just concentrate on just doing it.

00:15:00.000 It never worked for me, so I wondered if you ever did it or anybody else in stand-up ever did it.

00:15:06.000 I also think with stand-up, you could do a lot of sets and stuff, but I don't know if you should concentrate on it as much.

00:15:14.000 As concentrating on just life itself and finding things that you think are funny and interesting.

00:15:22.000 You know, because sometimes if you concentrate just on stand-up too much, it almost like narrows your focus. 0.96

00:15:28.000 So you're thinking so much about stand-up, you're not thinking about shit to talk about on stage. 0.98

00:15:32.000 Because you're not really thinking about it. 0.99

00:15:34.000 You're, you know, obsessed with...

00:15:36.000 Some tour date details or some, you know, some thing that might be an offer that's on the table.

00:15:43.000 What do you think I should do it? 0.99

00:15:44.000 You know, instead of thinking about that kind of shit, you just like you only have a certain amount of resources that your brain has available. 0.98

00:15:54.000 And it's when you can stop thinking about like if you can just push any career ideas completely out of your head and just exist as a person. 0.98

00:16:06.000 Then go and do stuff if you could figure out how to shut that off and go and do stuff for me at least It gives me like more ideas. 0.98

00:16:16.000 I get more ideas that way and I get I feed my curiosity too It feels like I feed my curiosity in an honest way instead of thinking about Which is reading things that I would think would be funny on stage or reading stuff that I think would be funny to talk about in a podcast I just look at shit. 0.91

00:16:34.000 That's interesting, you know Makes sense. 0.81

00:16:39.000 On a 1 to 10?

00:16:40.000 Right now.

00:16:42.000 We're cooking.

00:16:43.000 It's up there.

00:16:44.000 I got stoned this morning.

00:16:46.000 I stopped at the weed store on the way up here and ate a little half edible to get the party started in my system.

00:16:51.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:16:51.000 We're about a month away from legal weed.

00:16:53.000 That's it.

00:16:54.000 But it's going to go down for people like me.

00:16:56.000 Because the edible count is going down to 10 milligrams. 0.99

00:16:59.000 I already got the warning from the fucking stars of death. 0.99

00:17:01.000 There will be meetings. 1.00

00:17:03.000 The guy goes, for you to eat 900 milligrams again, you'll be floated. 0.99

00:17:08.000 You'll be fucking stuffed with gelatin at 10 milligrams a star. 0.99

00:17:12.000 This. 1.00

00:17:12.000 Yeah, no, no, there's some shit going around now. 1.00

00:17:15.000 I'm also doing that CBD, the one-to-one. 0.98

00:17:18.000 That's good, too.

00:17:19.000 Oh, not bad at night. 1.00

00:17:21.000 This goddamn Jumbo breath spray. 1.00

00:17:25.000 This medicine from God. 1.00

00:17:29.000 This one's a thousand...

00:17:31.000 A what?

00:17:32.000 A spray?

00:17:32.000 I don't know.

00:17:33.000 The whole bottle's a thousand?

00:17:35.000 Let me taste it.

00:17:38.000 Let's taste it.

00:17:39.000 Take the top off. 1.00

00:17:40.000 No, there's some shit that's really good. 0.99

00:17:41.000 That one hasn't been opened. 0.99

00:17:43.000 I take the CBD oil from a company in Denver, Exynol.

00:17:47.000 It's a thousand milligram CBD oil.

00:17:49.000 When you get back from Jiu-Jitsu, you put it right under here.

00:17:52.000 It doesn't get you high.

00:17:53.000 This is the one that just, by the time you get out of the shower, you're like, what happened?

00:17:57.000 Oh, so it's just CBD oil.

00:17:59.000 Because, you know, they make it with marijuana.

00:18:01.000 Yes.

00:18:02.000 No, no, I like...

00:18:02.000 Transdermally.

00:18:03.000 Well, that goes back...

00:18:05.000 That goes into your system a lot better.

00:18:07.000 The one that I'm taking is for children, people who don't want THC in it.

00:18:12.000 But this has such a high concentrate of...

00:18:16.000 CBD oil.

00:18:16.000 Yeah, but the other thing, they make it with something else.

00:18:19.000 Oh.

00:18:20.000 That he goes, put that under your tongue, one or two drops, you're a big guy, right when you get home from jiu-jitsu and then take a shower.

00:18:26.000 Not too bad, Joe Rogan.

00:18:27.000 Let's try this stuff here. 1.00

00:18:29.000 Stuff of it, some of it tastes like dick. 1.00

00:18:32.000 Some of it tastes like fucking guava juice. 1.00

00:18:34.000 There's these people that do it with guava juice. 0.99

00:18:36.000 Jesus Christ.

00:18:39.000 Not bad.

00:18:40.000 Minty.

00:18:41.000 Minty.

00:18:41.000 It is actually a nice little breast spray.

00:18:43.000 Mm-hmm.

00:18:46.000 Another two shots to go. 0.98

00:18:47.000 I fucked up and did too many sprays one of these once before a Sam Harris podcast and Sam was talking crazy shit about artificial intelligence and all this other, you know, every time I talked to that guy, he's a neuroscientist, very very smart guy. 0.99

00:19:01.000 I know who he is. 0.99

00:19:02.000 You know who he is, right?

00:19:03.000 And I was barbecued when I was talking to him, like barbecued.

00:19:08.000 I totally underestimated these sprays.

00:19:12.000 I had no idea.

00:19:13.000 I thought a couple pumps is probably like a pot lollipop. 0.85

00:19:18.000 No, it must have been hundreds of milligrams eaten. 1.00

00:19:21.000 Anything under your fucking tongue like that? 1.00

00:19:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:23.000 It goes quick, 60 seconds. 1.00

00:19:26.000 You're on a plane. 0.98

00:19:27.000 Next thing you know, the plane's fucking making weird noises. 0.97

00:19:30.000 They're lighting on fire now. 0.99

00:19:31.000 Those androids are hitting them.

00:19:32.000 It's going to change the world when it becomes legal, folks.

00:19:35.000 And it's not going to change the world for the worst.

00:19:36.000 It's going to change it for the better. 0.99

00:19:38.000 It's going to make people paranoid as fuck. 0.97

00:19:40.000 It's going to make people nicer. 0.98

00:19:42.000 It really is. 0.99

00:19:43.000 That paranoid as fuck thing, that's good. 1.00

00:19:46.000 You don't say dick! 1.00

00:19:48.000 I do. 1.00

00:19:48.000 That's how I live. 1.00

00:19:49.000 I don't say dick. 0.96

00:19:50.000 I don't know nobody. 0.99

00:19:51.000 There's some days I don't even fucking shave. 0.97

00:19:53.000 I leave the house and people, they don't know. 0.99

00:19:56.000 It's tremendous to live that way.

00:19:57.000 I don't say nothing.

00:19:58.000 I don't bother nobody.

00:20:00.000 I go into Starbucks.

00:20:01.000 I don't hear nothing.

00:20:02.000 I don't know nothing.

00:20:04.000 Time for reflection.

00:20:05.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:20:06.000 That's all it is.

00:20:07.000 Yeah.

00:20:08.000 The only thing I don't get high is when I go to jiu-jitsu.

00:20:10.000 I still can't work that up yet.

00:20:11.000 That's too real for Uncle Joey, though.

00:20:14.000 That's too real for me. 0.99

00:20:15.000 Somebody gets me a deep ass for something. 1.00

00:20:17.000 I'm fucking history. 1.00

00:20:18.000 I used to get high before every rolling session. 1.00

00:20:20.000 No, I don't know how the fuck you guys do that. 0.99

00:20:22.000 I can't. 0.99

00:20:22.000 Eddie and I used to take giant bong hits. 0.99

00:20:25.000 Giant bong hits.

00:20:27.000 And then we would roll.

00:20:28.000 No.

00:20:30.000 Yeah.

00:20:30.000 I'd have a panic attack.

00:20:31.000 Yeah, we would go into class.

00:20:33.000 As soon as somebody gets on top of you fast.

00:20:35.000 He would teach like that.

00:20:35.000 Eddie would teach like that.

00:20:36.000 No.

00:20:37.000 He would teach like that, blitzkrieg. 0.83

00:20:38.000 Teach like a Jedi knight.

00:20:41.000 Yeah, he'd teach tremendous things.

00:20:42.000 Like a master. 1.00

00:20:43.000 That's how you want it, you fucking dude. 1.00

00:20:45.000 Unconscious. 1.00

00:20:45.000 Well, for him, for his style of... 1.00

00:20:48.000 He's like...

00:20:51.000 You know, Eddie, he's got a very interesting style, not just of jujitsu, but of explaining his jujitsu.

00:20:59.000 You know, explaining all the moves and all the different positions.

00:21:04.000 There's like a presentation that he's doing.

00:21:06.000 It's like an art form.

00:21:08.000 Let me tell you something about Eddie Brown.

00:21:09.000 You're talking about all our comedian friends. 0.90

00:21:10.000 He's doing something completely fucking different on the other side. 1.00

00:21:14.000 Because every place you show up to do comedy, There's one fucking dude with a 10-planet shit. 1.00

00:21:18.000 Oh, at least. 1.00

00:21:19.000 They're like ISIS. At least. 0.98

00:21:20.000 He's got little cells everywhere, Eddie, of these three, four people. 1.00

00:21:23.000 Because even the little towns, they get the videos and get a mat, and they do all that shit by themselves, watching the fucking videos. 0.98

00:21:30.000 They've told me when I went to Omaha, people came in, like, from out of Omaha. 0.99

00:21:34.000 There's a 10-planet in Omaha.

00:21:35.000 That's great.

00:21:36.000 But people who don't want to make their...

00:21:38.000 People are telling me they get, like, couches and jujitsu.

00:21:41.000 No, not couches, mattresses. 1.00

00:21:42.000 Like, they're fucking crazy. 1.00

00:21:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:44.000 So if your little town doesn't have it, Eddie's spreading. 1.00

00:21:47.000 And now, like, his students are winning fucking tournaments. 1.00

00:21:51.000 And now EBI is on top of the fucking game. 0.99

00:21:54.000 EBI is the best thing to ever happen to submission grappling. 0.98

00:21:57.000 Because it made it exciting.

00:21:58.000 I don't know about rules or none.

00:22:00.000 You know that, right? 0.99

00:22:00.000 But when I'm reading Jiu-Jitsu magazine and they're saying that fucking they're going to start using EBI rules and shit. 0.99

00:22:08.000 EBI is Eddie Bravo, Inc., bitch. 1.00

00:22:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:22:10.000 T.L. Sonnen did it. 1.00

00:22:13.000 Here's how beautiful Eddie is.

00:22:14.000 Eddie doesn't even want money for them using it.

00:22:17.000 I'm pretty sure he's like, yeah, I just want those rules to be established as the best rules.

00:22:22.000 Just give me credit.

00:22:23.000 Call it the EBI rules and you can use them.

00:22:26.000 Smart way to do it.

00:22:27.000 He just wants to spread jujitsu in the right way.

00:22:30.000 And, you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a non-EBI rules event either, you know?

00:22:35.000 Like, if somebody wants to do, like, what Metamorris is doing and have these long bouts, and if they go to draw at the end, they go to draw at the end, you know?

00:22:42.000 Not on the podcast.

00:22:43.000 Some other time, you've got to break everything down.

00:22:45.000 I mean, like, there's IBBF and this.

00:22:47.000 I have so much on my mind.

00:22:50.000 Anybody could essentially start their own rules.

00:22:51.000 Like Abu Dhabi, where Eddie choked out Hoyler.

00:22:54.000 They had very interesting rules where the first period of the fight, there was no points.

00:23:00.000 And it encouraged you to go for it, right?

00:23:03.000 So you try to submit someone within the first half of the fight, or take it real conservative, which was another approach, and you play super defense for the first half of the fight.

00:23:14.000 Then, in the second half of the fight, you can score points.

00:23:17.000 So you score points for takedowns, score points for guard passes, near submissions, things like that.

00:23:23.000 So I think their logic was that If they just have no points in the beginning, it doesn't matter if a dude mounts you, it doesn't matter if a guy takes you back, if you defend, if you're trying to attack him and go after him, sometimes you'd worry, if I don't get this guy, I might be so far behind in points,

00:23:38.000 I'll never catch up.

00:23:39.000 Like, if you just go for it, and you fuck up and you wind up in a bad position, then you defend that position, and then you get back to your feet, and then maybe the guy takes you down, that's a sequence of events that if you're counting takedowns and near submissions and things like that, can put you in this giant deficit.

00:23:53.000 And if the guy's that good that he could do that to you, maybe you underestimated him and you'll never catch up to him.

00:23:59.000 But you can find out if you just go for it.

00:24:02.000 If you both go for it and you don't worry about points.

00:24:04.000 So that was their idea, I think.

00:24:05.000 I think.

00:24:06.000 To promote more excitement.

00:24:07.000 So people just go for it in the beginning and then...

00:24:10.000 The idea about the second half is that once you're establishing who's the better grappler, when two guys roll and they're trying to kill each other, you learn pretty quick who's better.

00:24:21.000 And so then if no one's better, if it's just by a very, very, very slight edge, so if you've gotten to the second half of the fight and you're both in a neutral position, you both attacked, you both defended, and no one's had any sort of an upper hand, those last few minutes is what's really going to count because that's the few minutes where Your determination in training camp showed up.

00:24:42.000 Your ability to adjust.

00:24:44.000 Your ability to overcome.

00:24:46.000 Like all those things really do determine who's best.

00:24:48.000 So having that towards the end of the fight, that makes sense as well.

00:24:51.000 How long is Abu Dhabi if I go the whole match?

00:24:55.000 That's a good question.

00:24:56.000 Is it two 15s?

00:24:57.000 Is it two 10s?

00:24:59.000 I don't remember.

00:25:00.000 I'm thinking it's two 10s.

00:25:02.000 But that seems like a long time.

00:25:04.000 Maybe it was less than that.

00:25:06.000 Abu Dhabi submission grappling time limits.

00:25:11.000 Because what is Eddie doing with EBI? He does the first how many minutes?

00:25:15.000 I'm not sure.

00:25:17.000 I think it's like the first nine minutes or something like that.

00:25:19.000 They just go at it.

00:25:20.000 And there's no points, and if they make it into the final, or they make it past the time limit, then they go through these series of bad positions.

00:25:31.000 Like one guy starts on the other guy's back, and he has over-under, and they go, ready, go, and you start from there.

00:25:36.000 So one guy's got your back, and you have to defend it.

00:25:39.000 And if you can tap him, then he has an opportunity to try the same position, and if he can tap you...

00:25:47.000 I think it goes to who got who first.

00:25:49.000 I think it's in the amount of time it took to tap them.

00:25:54.000 So that's where the competition would be.

00:25:57.000 Ten minutes, five minutes overtime.

00:26:00.000 So qualifying rounds, six minutes, three minutes overtime if there's a draw.

00:26:05.000 Finals, eight minutes, four minutes overtime if there's a draw with no advantage.

00:26:09.000 So what it probably is is like four minutes in, they start scoring the point.

00:26:14.000 Yeah, there it is right there.

00:26:15.000 The first four minutes are without positive points, but negative points start from the beginning of the fight until the end.

00:26:22.000 I think negative points are like when you draw guard, when you pull guard.

00:26:27.000 I think that was a negative point.

00:26:28.000 I don't know if it still is, but I think that's silly. 0.99

00:26:31.000 Because some guys, if they pull you into their guard, you're fucked. 0.98

00:26:35.000 Like, there's guys like Vinnie Magalese, or like Shinye Aoki. 1.00

00:26:40.000 That guy is this nasty fucking guard. 1.00

00:26:42.000 If you're in his guard, you're in a terrible place. 1.00

00:26:44.000 The church is sponsoring Vinnie Magalese. 1.00

00:26:46.000 Vinnie Magalese is a bad motherfucker. 0.99

00:26:49.000 I love Vinnie Magalese. 1.00

00:26:49.000 His jujitsu is so fucking high level, man. 1.00

00:26:53.000 You know, he spent a lot of time fighting in MMA. And because of the fighting in the MMA, I think a lot of people slept on his jiu-jitsu. 0.98

00:27:01.000 They forget what a phenom he is.

00:27:03.000 He flying armbarred Pei de Pano, who is like this multiple-time Brazilian jiu-jitsu world champion.

00:27:10.000 And Vinny Magalhães hit him with a flying armbar. 0.99

00:27:13.000 Do you know, that is like pulling your dick out and slapping it across a world champion's face. 1.00

00:27:19.000 Literally how powerful that move is. 1.00

00:27:21.000 When you say flying, that's where it ends in my fucking world. 0.99

00:27:23.000 Check this out. 0.99

00:27:24.000 See if you can find it. 1.00

00:27:25.000 Flying fucking armbar. 1.00

00:27:27.000 He's huge, too. 1.00

00:27:28.000 He's huge.

00:27:29.000 He's like 230 pounds, and he hits him with a flying armbar, and it's perfect.

00:27:33.000 It's just perfect.

00:27:34.000 There's no defending.

00:27:36.000 Now, this guy, this is Chris Weidman.

00:27:40.000 He got Chris Weidman with it, too.

00:27:42.000 Yeah, well, you can watch this, too. 1.00

00:27:44.000 I mean, Vinny did hit Chris Weidman with the same shit. 0.99

00:27:46.000 Dude, Vinny's super world-class. 0.99

00:27:49.000 Now, you've got to remember, Chris Weidman, two-time NCAA All-American wrestler, like super fucking grappler. 0.94

00:27:58.000 And that's how good Vinny Magalhães is.

00:28:01.000 I mean, Weidman, when he won the UFC... Let's see if you can find it in here because this is a long match.

00:28:07.000 Weidman, when he won the UFC middleweight title from Anderson Silva...

00:28:14.000 Was widely thought to be like one of the toughest, best wrestlers, best grapplers that's ever fought in the middleweight division.

00:28:21.000 It was a big strength of his.

00:28:22.000 Is that he was just so nasty on the ground. 0.99

00:28:25.000 And so fucking strong. 0.99

00:28:27.000 Oh my god! 0.99

00:28:27.000 Exactly. 0.99

00:28:28.000 You see, when a dude can do that to a Chris Weidman, that's what a bad motherfucker Vinny Magalese is. 0.95

00:28:34.000 You just don't, that doesn't happen. 0.96

00:28:36.000 Watch this again.

00:28:38.000 Come on, son.

00:28:39.000 I mean, he just took that with just spectacular technique.

00:28:45.000 And he's a huge guy.

00:28:47.000 I mean, it looks like he's at least, you know, what, 210 or something like that?

00:28:51.000 215?

00:28:53.000 I don't know.

00:28:53.000 In the UFC, he fought light heavyweight, right?

00:28:56.000 Cool 5. Yeah, because he lost to Ryan Bader in the finals, remember?

00:29:00.000 Of The Ultimate Fighter?

00:29:01.000 See, striking, you know, he got better at striking, but that was what had held him back. 0.99

00:29:06.000 His jujitsu is off the fucking chain. 0.97

00:29:10.000 He did another stint in the UFC, right? 0.99

00:29:12.000 Yes, he did a couple stints, yeah.

00:29:14.000 But like, that guy. 1.00

00:29:15.000 You get caught in that guy's guard, you're fucked. 1.00

00:29:17.000 Like, that's a bad position. 0.99

00:29:19.000 So I disagree with them, like, saying that pulling guard is a one-point disadvantage.

00:29:25.000 So if he pulls guard on you, Vinny Magaliz, you're in hell? 0.95

00:29:28.000 You're in hell. 0.96

00:29:28.000 You're in a terrible place. 0.96

00:29:30.000 You might get out of it, but you're in danger.

00:29:32.000 You're in severe danger.

00:29:34.000 There's people where their guard is more of a defensive position.

00:29:37.000 There's people who wrap their legs around you, and what they're trying to do is just kind of hold on.

00:29:42.000 Me too.

00:29:42.000 I just breathe.

00:29:43.000 Or, yeah, maybe they're taking their sweet time, they're going to breathe, they're going to relax, and then they're going to maybe try to explode back up to their feet.

00:29:50.000 Or try to reverse you or try to stand up or something like that.

00:29:53.000 But then there's guys like Vinny that are trying to break your arm.

00:29:57.000 And that's immediately what he's going to go to.

00:29:59.000 He's going to go to rubber guard. 0.98

00:30:00.000 I mean, Vinny has like really fucking ridiculous experience when it comes to submissions. 0.97

00:30:07.000 I mean, he's just super technical and a big guy. 0.98

00:30:12.000 Like, that's a rare combination.

00:30:14.000 Like, if you get caught in that guy's guard, you're not favored to get out of it.

00:30:21.000 Especially if you underestimated it.

00:30:23.000 Like, that's another thing about guards.

00:30:24.000 If you train with a guy, it was like an Eddie Bravo.

00:30:28.000 Where his guard is just ultra dangerous.

00:30:31.000 If you don't train with a guy like that, maybe the guys in your gym, they're not scary from their back.

00:30:37.000 So you don't worry about it.

00:30:38.000 Maybe you're a wrestler.

00:30:39.000 Maybe you got good defense.

00:30:40.000 You feel like, you know what? 1.00

00:30:41.000 I see that shit coming. 0.99

00:30:43.000 Nobody gets me in my gym. 1.00

00:30:44.000 Well, they probably don't have the same level of guard.

00:30:47.000 There's some guys out there that have this ridiculously refined level of guard.

00:30:52.000 You remember Paul Sass?

00:30:54.000 No.

00:30:54.000 He's a guy who fought in the UFC. He won almost every fight.

00:30:57.000 I think he won one by heel hook.

00:30:59.000 He heel hooked Michael Johnson, who is going to be fighting Habib Nurmagomedov.

00:31:04.000 But Paul Sass triangled the fuck out of everybody. 0.89

00:31:07.000 I mean, he triangled the fuck out of everybody. 0.98

00:31:10.000 Nobody could get away from his triangle. 0.92

00:31:12.000 It was just this crazy thing.

00:31:13.000 If this kid would grab ahold of you, he'd pull guard, he would creep his legs up over your shoulder, and before you know it, you were choking yourself to sleep.

00:31:21.000 It was incredible.

00:31:22.000 I don't remember how many fights he won by triangle, but it was so ridiculous, because everybody knew it, and he would go out there and he would do it. 0.99

00:31:29.000 And everybody was like, just stay the fuck away from his triangle. 0.99

00:31:31.000 Just stay the fuck away from his triangle. 0.99

00:31:33.000 Next thing you know, what? 1.00

00:31:35.000 He's on his back, and you're like, ah!

00:31:38.000 It's a terrible position to be in.

00:31:40.000 And if a guy's legs are like really good at doing those movements, your legs are so strong.

00:31:46.000 They're so much stronger than your arms.

00:31:48.000 The thing that we lack is not strength, it's dexterity.

00:31:52.000 Well, some guys figure that dexterity thing out.

00:31:55.000 And when you have these high-level guys That was one where he won by leg lock here.

00:32:02.000 But look how good he is, dude.

00:32:05.000 When he gets guys into a position where they think that they're safe, this is another leg lock too.

00:32:12.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:32:13.000 Oh, this is nasty shit, man. 1.00

00:32:17.000 My point is that there are guys that are super, super dangerous off their back. 1.00

00:32:22.000 It shouldn't be a negative point.

00:32:25.000 And Michael Johnson has not thrown a punch.

00:32:29.000 So even if you just mess with him...

00:32:31.000 Yeah, he got tore up here.

00:32:33.000 I mean, this is a bad position.

00:32:34.000 Did they get rid of Paul Sass?

00:32:35.000 Did the UFC cut him?

00:32:37.000 I think so.

00:32:38.000 I don't remember.

00:32:38.000 I mean, he didn't win all of his fights.

00:32:40.000 He was a tough, tough guy.

00:32:42.000 But man, his submissions were awesome to watch. 1.00

00:32:44.000 And he fucked a lot of guys up off his back. 0.99

00:32:48.000 And this is an MMA where he's actually... 1.00

00:32:50.000 Oh, damn, that's nasty. 0.99

00:32:52.000 And then he tapped right there. 1.00

00:32:53.000 And this is an MMA where you can get punched...

00:32:56.000 In Abu Dhabi, you can't even get punched.

00:32:59.000 So you can get much deeper into positions and not worry about being vulnerable to strikes.

00:33:05.000 So guys like Gary Tonin, who's like one of the best in the world right now, he's known for his leg locks and he attacks off his back all the time.

00:33:13.000 So to think that that guy gets a negative point because he's attacking off of his back, to me, that's loony.

00:33:20.000 That's loony. 0.93

00:33:21.000 If he gets a hold of you and you're in his guard, you're going to get your knee ripped apart. 0.84

00:33:25.000 This guy's a knee ripper. 0.98

00:33:26.000 I mean, they're all the Donaher death squad.

00:33:29.000 That's what they call themselves.

00:33:30.000 You know, John Donaher.

00:33:31.000 Dude, he's got like a hundred knee rippers over there. 1.00

00:33:34.000 He's just got super technical leg lock guys.

00:33:38.000 And they're all doing it, you know, primarily off their back.

00:33:43.000 But in MMA, it's way more dangerous.

00:33:46.000 MMA guys can punch you. 1.00

00:33:47.000 I don't like none of that feet shit. 1.00

00:33:49.000 I told you once, I told you again. 1.00

00:33:50.000 It makes me nervous, gives me anxiety.

00:33:52.000 Are you one of those guys that shows up for jiu-jitsu class with wrestling shoes on?

00:33:56.000 No.

00:33:56.000 There's always a guy like that.

00:33:58.000 No, no.

00:33:58.000 There is a guy at my place.

00:34:00.000 And you don't want to fuck with him or say something about his wrestling shoes. 0.99

00:34:03.000 He don't speak the language. 1.00

00:34:04.000 He's like from Bulgaria. 0.99

00:34:06.000 Oh, yeah?

00:34:06.000 Yeah.

00:34:07.000 One minute you're in his garden, next minute you're swinging around in the air.

00:34:10.000 Oh, he's like a Sambo guy? 1.00

00:34:11.000 Yeah, I'm 200 pounds heavier than he is.

00:34:14.000 Dude, those guys are terrifying.

00:34:15.000 No, no.

00:34:15.000 Like the first day he came in to visit and all you heard was ba-ba-ba-boom.

00:34:19.000 He didn't really know.

00:34:20.000 He just is a great guy. 0.97

00:34:22.000 He thought he was still in fucking Kamala Reese over there. 0.97

00:34:25.000 Well, they were probably hard training over there. 0.98

00:34:29.000 Great guys.

00:34:29.000 His buddy's a blue bell, always takes the time to teach me something.

00:34:32.000 Great guys. 0.99

00:34:33.000 He doesn't mean it, but he just has the strength of dead fucking mules, bro. 1.00

00:34:38.000 Those skinny guys from Russia, those little Khabib neighborhoods, those motherfuckers, they don't pick up weights. 1.00

00:34:46.000 They pick up trees and shit like that, and they know how to handle off-balance and stuff. 0.99

00:34:50.000 It's a really beautiful thing to see. 0.85

00:34:52.000 I stayed one day afterward as I was getting dressed, and he was teaching the higher balance.

00:34:58.000 They were flying.

00:35:00.000 Yeah, those Sambo guys, especially... 1.00

00:35:04.000 There's two types of...

00:35:06.000 There's combat Sambo, which is what Fedor used to fight in.

00:35:09.000 You ever see that?

00:35:09.000 Where they put headgear on, and they have a judo jacket and MMA gloves, and they beat the fuck out of each other, dude.

00:35:16.000 That's one kind of Sambo. 0.97

00:35:18.000 That's more of a...

00:35:19.000 It's kind of a hybrid.

00:35:21.000 It's almost like they have the judo jacket. 0.99

00:35:23.000 They wear a fucking judo jacket and shorts on. 0.99

00:35:25.000 The guy has the World Series of Fighting heavyweight champion... 1.00

00:35:29.000 I forget his name, but he's a Russian gentleman.

00:35:32.000 He's a guy who...

00:35:33.000 Ignov?

00:35:34.000 Is that his name? 0.99

00:35:36.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:35:37.000 But he's the first guy to beat Fedor in a long time. 0.98

00:35:41.000 He beat him in combat Sambo before Fedor wind up losing in MMA. Yeah.

00:35:48.000 Ivanov.

00:35:53.000 Blagoy Ivanov.

00:35:54.000 Blagoy Ivanov. 1.00

00:35:55.000 He's a tough, tough fucking guy. 1.00

00:35:57.000 But he beat Fedor in that combat sambo stuff where they had the judo jacket on and shit. 1.00

00:36:02.000 And I think it was before Fedor went on that losing streak. 1.00

00:36:06.000 Now combat is when obviously you show up with fucking swords and shit. 1.00

00:36:09.000 No, no. 1.00

00:36:11.000 It's just MMA. It's MMA with a judo jacket on.

00:36:14.000 Now what does Chris Herzog teach?

00:36:16.000 That's a good question.

00:36:17.000 Chris Herzog is big-time Sambo.

00:36:20.000 This guy comes over and does seminars in Rochester.

00:36:23.000 I don't know if it's combat or the other, I don't know.

00:36:25.000 I mean, I'm sure there's a bunch.

00:36:26.000 I mean, I'm not that well-versed in Sambo, but there's two different styles of Sambo.

00:36:32.000 A lot of times people confuse the two of them.

00:36:36.000 One time I was watching a fight and they were talking about this guy's Sambo background and the commentator was saying that he didn't think that in Sambo there were strikes so he probably won't be as comfortable with getting hit because he's a Sambo guy. 0.99

00:36:53.000 But what he didn't realize is he actually came from that combat Sambo background, which is the Fedor background.

00:36:58.000 Which is where they would have these fights where...

00:37:00.000 Have you ever seen it?

00:37:01.000 See, pull up Combat Sambo, because it's kind of wild.

00:37:04.000 It's weird looking. 0.98

00:37:05.000 Like, it's high-level MMA, but they have judo jackets on and headgear, and they're kicking the shit out of each other, punching the shit out of each other.

00:37:13.000 I mean, it is MMA, but there's also grappling, too, and they're aided by the thing.

00:37:20.000 Yeah, I mean, this is...

00:37:24.000 It's weird looking, right? 0.99

00:37:25.000 I mean, they got a fucking jacket on, and they're doing MMA. It doesn't totally make sense. 0.99

00:37:32.000 No cage, you know.

00:37:34.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:37:34.000 Oh, shit, son. 1.00

00:37:35.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:37:37.000 That was a 360, too.

00:37:41.000 Yeah, no cage I like a lot.

00:37:44.000 I've been saying this lately. 1.00

00:37:46.000 I think this is stupid. 1.00

00:37:48.000 I think cages are stupid. 1.00

00:37:49.000 I think if we have a floor that's big enough to have a basketball game, you have a floor that's big enough for two dudes to fight. 1.00

00:37:57.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:37:58.000 Come on. 1.00

00:37:59.000 You put down some mats.

00:38:02.000 No more walls. 1.00

00:38:03.000 Just pushing each other up against the wall is stupid. 0.99

00:38:07.000 Unless you're fighting in some hallway. 1.00

00:38:09.000 Why are you fighting in a hallway? 1.00

00:38:10.000 Go outside, out in the woods, you crazy kids. 1.00

00:38:16.000 They did it in Russia, man. 1.00

00:38:18.000 They had a fucking MMA fight in a football field. 1.00

00:38:21.000 What the fuck were you talking about on the weigh-in today? 1.00

00:38:25.000 You were dropping some knowledge on me about some gym where they're fighting. 1.00

00:38:29.000 The fucking movie with the black dudes. 1.00

00:38:31.000 What's that movie? 1.00

00:38:32.000 The kid came out here, Billy Corbin did.

00:38:35.000 Oh, Dogfight.

00:38:36.000 Yeah, and when we were talking about Dogfight, then you were talking about some gym, and you said you'd save it for the podcast.

00:38:41.000 This is what I was telling you.

00:38:42.000 You know what happened with Conor McGregor and Nate Diaz?

00:38:46.000 With the bottles.

00:38:47.000 They threw water bottles at each other.

00:38:49.000 Plastic water bottles.

00:38:51.000 They got...

00:38:51.000 Well, someone might have thrown a Monster Energy can.

00:38:54.000 Did someone throw a can?

00:38:55.000 Maybe. 0.99

00:38:56.000 See, if it can hit you or someone you care about, that would suck.

00:39:00.000 The water bottle's like, come on.

00:39:02.000 Anyway, they got fined $150,000.

00:39:07.000 And... 0.89

00:39:08.000 You should definitely shouldn't fucking throw water bottles, right? 1.00

00:39:12.000 So part of me is like, well, if they could discourage throwing water bottles, that shit's stupid, right? 1.00

00:39:17.000 But did the altercation? 1.00

00:39:19.000 The altercation's probably good for business.

00:39:22.000 The altercation, I mean, I get excited. 1.00

00:39:24.000 I see Nate Diaz and Conor McGregor screaming at each other across, you know, fuck you! 1.00

00:39:29.000 Yo, fuck you! 1.00

00:39:30.000 Fuck you! 1.00

00:39:31.000 Get crazy with each other! 1.00

00:39:32.000 It makes you excited!

00:39:33.000 And I think that generates pay-per-view buys. 1.00

00:39:35.000 I don't think Conor's stupid, and I don't think Nate's stupid. 0.98

00:39:38.000 I think they're smart, and I think they know what they're doing when it comes to that kind of stuff. 0.99

00:39:41.000 So that's a part of the show.

00:39:43.000 I mean, did he really think he was gonna hit him with that water bottle? 0.99

00:39:46.000 You know, fuckin'... 0.99

00:39:47.000 Nate Diaz, it's hard to hit him with a punch. 1.00

00:39:49.000 How the fuck are you gonna hit him with a water bottle that's coming from 300 feet away? 0.99

00:39:53.000 He's not gonna see that? 0.99

00:39:55.000 He's not gonna move out of the way of that water bottle?

00:39:58.000 You know, I mean, what they decide to get upset about and what they don't decide to get upset about is what's weird about athletic commissions.

00:40:07.000 You know, like one of the things they were talking about whether or not they were going to test Nate for his vape pen because he had a CBD vape pen.

00:40:15.000 Which is CBD, not even psychoactive.

00:40:18.000 It doesn't make you high.

00:40:19.000 But it does alleviate some inflammation and it provides people that have like, you know, back pain or something like that, or especially after a long fight.

00:40:27.000 Provides you with a little relief.

00:40:30.000 But what's crazy is...

00:40:32.000 The only reason why they would want you to not do it, obviously, it's not performance enhancing.

00:40:37.000 You're not performing anymore.

00:40:39.000 The performance is over.

00:40:40.000 So, are they protecting you from yourself?

00:40:43.000 Like, what are they doing?

00:40:44.000 They don't want you to do it because you're flaunting the fact that you're doing it in front of everybody?

00:40:49.000 Now, did they piss him after the CBD? After he was smoking that?

00:40:53.000 I think he had already done his post-fight thing.

00:40:56.000 I think you do that before you do the press conference, I think.

00:40:59.000 I don't know, though.

00:41:00.000 It's a good question.

00:41:02.000 I'm not entirely sure.

00:41:03.000 And they might do it differently in different places.

00:41:06.000 But either way, you're not concerned about them.

00:41:08.000 Like, what's the issue?

00:41:11.000 Like, what is the issue?

00:41:12.000 It looks bad?

00:41:13.000 Does it look bad that vapor's coming out?

00:41:15.000 Are you scared of dragons?

00:41:16.000 The CBD oil business went out the roof that night.

00:41:19.000 Oh, I'm sure it did.

00:41:20.000 And it should.

00:41:21.000 And it should.

00:41:21.000 And wait until it becomes legal.

00:41:23.000 We're a month away.

00:41:24.000 When it becomes legal, then it's really going to go nuts.

00:41:27.000 It's going to be good for everybody. 0.97

00:41:28.000 But anyway, so they get fucking pissed at him for that. 0.93

00:41:32.000 But the fine was so high. 0.91

00:41:36.000 I'm like $150,000.

00:41:38.000 Wow.

00:41:39.000 Well, he said he made $40 million. 0.99

00:41:40.000 Next time, shut your mouth. 1.00

00:41:42.000 And they won't fucking know. 1.00

00:41:43.000 That's true. 0.99

00:41:44.000 Even the other kid made $2, $3 mil.

00:41:46.000 Half of that after taxes, $1.5.

00:41:48.000 $150. 1.00

00:41:49.000 Don't really put a dent in your fucking thing. 1.00

00:41:51.000 Next time, you won't throw fucking bottles. 1.00

00:41:53.000 That is a good point. 0.99

00:41:55.000 Unless they both went to Dana and said, listen.

00:41:58.000 This jacked up the things. 0.98

00:41:59.000 We wanted to see UFC pick up the tab for the 300 because it came out of your fucking end for the pay-per-views. 0.98

00:42:06.000 It's something. 0.95

00:42:08.000 150 is not that bad.

00:42:09.000 They walked away with a ton of loot.

00:42:10.000 That's a good point.

00:42:11.000 There's got to be some type of repercussion.

00:42:14.000 150 and they can fight again in November?

00:42:16.000 Right.

00:42:17.000 Listen, I got caught without a license.

00:42:19.000 10, 15 years ago in LA. First time ever.

00:42:22.000 I was talking on the phone.

00:42:23.000 I got pulled over.

00:42:23.000 The guy goes, where's your license?

00:42:24.000 It didn't work that day.

00:42:26.000 I went down to LA County.

00:42:27.000 I stood in front of a judge, bop, bop, bop.

00:42:30.000 The guy looked at me straight in the face.

00:42:31.000 He goes, you can pay $200 and come back with your license.

00:42:34.000 Oh, give me $550 and I don't want to see you again.

00:42:38.000 What do you think I did?

00:42:39.000 You think I gave him $200?

00:42:41.000 I didn't give him $550.

00:42:41.000 No, I gave him $550 and in time I got my license.

00:42:44.000 Not with a gun to my head.

00:42:45.000 Yeah.

00:42:48.000 Sometimes you pay a little extra and they let you fight November to earn.

00:42:51.000 Now you earn next time and now you can mack up that 150. You're earning.

00:42:55.000 At least they're not suspended for fucking a year. 0.99

00:42:57.000 Yeah, that's true. 0.99

00:42:58.000 Here's my thought.

00:43:00.000 I don't think 150 is bad if you got a good charity for it.

00:43:04.000 Let's send it to charity.

00:43:05.000 Yeah, instead of it going to an athletic department.

00:43:08.000 I mean, I'm sure the athletic department...

00:43:09.000 A high school athletic department somewhere.

00:43:11.000 Yeah.

00:43:11.000 Maybe a girls soccer team.

00:43:13.000 Yeah, something like that.

00:43:13.000 I'll go for that.

00:43:14.000 There you go.

00:43:15.000 That's like a good thing, right?

00:43:17.000 But $300,000 into their pocket is what pisses you off.

00:43:20.000 Well, it's what they decide to get mad at and what they don't decide to get mad at.

00:43:25.000 Because this is a thing that I found.

00:43:27.000 Did you watch when Floyd Mayweather was doing, I believe it was for Showtime, they were doing one of those behind-the-scenes things at his gym, and he has what he calls doghouse fights.

00:43:43.000 And let me just say that this kind of thing has been going on in gyms forever, right?

00:43:48.000 They've always had gym wars, and people have even set up...

00:43:52.000 This was a thing that I'm pretty sure became illegal in California fairly recently, within the last decade.

00:43:59.000 They stopped allowing people to have what they call smokers.

00:44:02.000 And what a smoker is, they have organized fights, but there's not really a lot of medical on hand.

00:44:10.000 Nobody gets paid.

00:44:11.000 Nobody gets paid, but it gives people valuable experience.

00:44:15.000 They used to have a lot of them in Muay Thai.

00:44:17.000 Like, I used to go to them.

00:44:18.000 They were cool.

00:44:18.000 They would set up like these little plastic lawn chairs.

00:44:21.000 You'd pay a small amount of money, you know, like 30 bucks or something like that, and you'd go and you'd watch all these amateur fights, and a lot of times kids are pretty fucking talented, and it's fun to watch.

00:44:30.000 So they've always had organized gym fights.

00:44:33.000 So essentially, what Floyd Mayweather did was have his own in-house gym fights, like amateur fights.

00:44:41.000 They didn't even disguise the fact that it was a competition.

00:44:45.000 They weren't trying to spar.

00:44:49.000 These guys are having fights.

00:44:52.000 And he's talking about how it's to the death.

00:44:55.000 It's really crazy.

00:44:58.000 And he has these guys, one guy gets beat up, and he's Hasim Rahman's brother, or son?

00:45:08.000 Hasim Rahman's son, I believe.

00:45:10.000 See if you can Google who the gentleman was.

00:45:13.000 The comments were saying it was his brother, but that was just a comment.

00:45:15.000 Okay, his brother.

00:45:16.000 Maybe it's his brother.

00:45:17.000 That makes more sense.

00:45:18.000 Because Hasim Rahman is not that old to have a kid that's that, you know, like that developed.

00:45:24.000 Because he looks like he's like in his 20s.

00:45:27.000 Maybe he is.

00:45:28.000 Anyway, point being.

00:45:29.000 So this English guy...

00:45:32.000 Beats up Hasim Rahman's one brother, and then the mom comes back with the bigger brother, and the English guy fights him too, all on the same day.

00:45:45.000 And they're fighting like these 30-minute rounds.

00:45:48.000 It's crazy.

00:45:51.000 Is there a winner and a loser?

00:45:53.000 They put it on TV. Yeah, I mean, dude, there's definitely a winner and a loser.

00:45:57.000 No, is there money involved?

00:45:57.000 I'm sorry.

00:45:58.000 The question was, is there Giedis?

00:46:00.000 No, I don't think there is.

00:46:01.000 I mean, there might be.

00:46:02.000 I mean, Floyd might reward them or something like that. 0.99

00:46:05.000 But I mean, it's crazy shit. 0.97

00:46:08.000 And I mean, in one way, yeah, this will develop character. 0.99

00:46:11.000 And I don't have a problem with people doing whatever they decide to do.

00:46:14.000 If somebody wants to fight a 30-minute fight, I don't have a problem with that.

00:46:19.000 You should be able to do it if you want to.

00:46:21.000 They've been doing this since Jesus left Chicago.

00:46:24.000 You did this in Boston when you were to a brown belt and karate with your buddies.

00:46:27.000 You did this.

00:46:28.000 But the thing is, I'm not a promoter in Las Vegas.

00:46:31.000 Right, that's a big difference.

00:46:32.000 That's a big difference.

00:46:33.000 And I'm not a professional fighter on television.

00:46:38.000 I'm not, you know, and I'm not necessarily saying there's anything wrong with what he did, because it is a part of gym culture.

00:46:44.000 It is a part of what's made champions.

00:46:46.000 I mean, this kind of stuff, these heated battles, is a very uncomfortable reality that elite fighters like Floyd Mayweather face.

00:46:57.000 Like, to be that good, you have to be that real.

00:47:01.000 And for a guy like him to show like these kind of crazy 30-minute no-time-limit fights in the gym and put it on TV, it's pretty wild.

00:47:12.000 And I see both sides of it.

00:47:14.000 I totally see Floyd May with a side of it.

00:47:15.000 Look at him.

00:47:16.000 I mean, he feeds off that.

00:47:17.000 But guess what? 1.00

00:47:18.000 That mentality is why that motherfucker was 49-0, right? 1.00

00:47:24.000 That motherfucker is arguably the best boxer ever. 0.99

00:47:27.000 Who got hurt less than Floyd Mayweather? 0.99

00:47:30.000 Who boxed people's face off that everybody thought was gonna kill him better than Floyd Mayweather?

00:47:36.000 Remember when he fought Maidana?

00:47:38.000 And he fought him the first time?

00:47:39.000 And Maidana caught him in one of the exchanges, like right before the bell rang.

00:47:43.000 We were like, whoa!

00:47:45.000 And then they fought again the second time and he just put a clinic on Maidana.

00:47:50.000 Just put a clinic on him.

00:47:51.000 It's like all of a sudden Maidana was fighting a totally different guy. 1.00

00:47:54.000 Like Floyd had figured out Maidana's style or decided not to fuck around this fight and decided, you know, to really take him seriously and really focus on him and he just beat his ass. 0.99

00:48:05.000 You know, brother, he's a genius in a lot of ways. 0.99

00:48:07.000 I don't agree with a lot of this shit he does. 0.98

00:48:10.000 You know, but... 0.99

00:48:12.000 Listen, man.

00:48:14.000 His self-promotion game's off the charts.

00:48:15.000 It's off the charts.

00:48:16.000 His self-promotion game's the greatest of all time.

00:48:19.000 He's made me laugh.

00:48:20.000 He's probably made more money.

00:48:20.000 He's made me laugh at night sometimes.

00:48:22.000 I've watched this show and he's made me laugh.

00:48:25.000 It's that show you watch because you don't really like the dude.

00:48:30.000 I bet I would love him.

00:48:32.000 I bet I would love him. 1.00

00:48:33.000 He's a psycho. 0.96

00:48:34.000 And I've watched him fight like three times. 0.99

00:48:35.000 I'm like, you know what? 0.99

00:48:36.000 The proof is in the motherfucking pudding. 0.99

00:48:38.000 Exactly. 0.99

00:48:39.000 That's it.

00:48:39.000 The proof is in the pudding.

00:48:40.000 Let him do whatever the fuck he wants. 0.99

00:48:42.000 You don't get a guy like that unless he's a guy like that. 0.99

00:48:45.000 You don't get that 49-0 unless he's that kind of dude. 0.97

00:48:48.000 But I think he handles it as good as any fucking human being that could be in that position handles it. 0.95

00:48:53.000 It's a crazy position to be in to be a young guy and be worth that much money. 0.98

00:48:57.000 Your nickname's Money Mayweather. 0.99

00:48:59.000 I mean, who the fuck names himself Money? 0.99

00:49:03.000 I mean, he's hilarious. 1.00

00:49:05.000 I ain't got nothing wrong with you if you talk shit and back it. 0.99

00:49:09.000 Not anymore at this point in my life. 0.98

00:49:10.000 You know what I'm reading right now?

00:49:12.000 A buddy of mine gave it to me, Hollywood Henderson.

00:49:14.000 Are you old enough for that?

00:49:16.000 Hollywood Henderson was a Dallas Cowboy. 0.79

00:49:18.000 That was the real deal.

00:49:20.000 You understand me.

00:49:21.000 They don't even make them like that no more.

00:49:22.000 Showed up rookie day.

00:49:24.000 I'll give you the article.

00:49:25.000 With three hits of acid, a gram of blow.

00:49:28.000 Right here, the Thousand Oaks.

00:49:29.000 In the offseason, he would rent a hotel and hang out with Pryor at the Comedy Store.

00:49:34.000 Hollywood Henderson was the lad with Pointer Sisters.

00:49:36.000 This was before Rick James.

00:49:38.000 And before they played the Denver Broncos.

00:49:40.000 This is his claim to fame.

00:49:41.000 He went on national TV and took a can of Orange Crush. 0.99

00:49:45.000 With the Denver Broncos drink, that soda, and he fucking crushed it with the juice in it with one hand. 0.98

00:49:51.000 And the Super Bowl, he intercepted and scored as a linebacker. 0.99

00:49:54.000 And then he just fucking blew up the ball. 1.00

00:49:56.000 Big fucking, you know, he talks shit. 1.00

00:49:59.000 People hate him. 1.00

00:50:00.000 They hate him. 1.00

00:50:02.000 He talked shit, but on game day, he showed up. 1.00

00:50:05.000 Then they threw him out because he put fucking two fingers up during the game, and the owner of the Cowboys saw him at that time. 1.00

00:50:11.000 What's two fingers? 0.99

00:50:12.000 You can't do two fingers?

00:50:13.000 They were losing on TV, on national TV, and Hollywood Henderson, the camera came over, and instead of watching, he advertised a towel.

00:50:22.000 He goes, yo, if you need these towels...

00:50:26.000 And they were like the receiver's company.

00:50:28.000 The next day, Tom Landry fired Hollywood Henderson.

00:50:31.000 And after that, it was all over. 0.99

00:50:33.000 He was smoking fucking crack and bazookas, but he won the lottery in Texas. 0.99

00:50:39.000 He won the lottery? 1.00

00:50:40.000 He became a born-again Christian.

00:50:42.000 Oh my goodness. 1.00

00:50:45.000 Hollywood Henderson was my motherfucker, dog. 1.00

00:50:48.000 Wow. 1.00

00:50:50.000 That's a fun story.

00:50:54.000 Yeah.

00:50:55.000 Man, I just want to be clear about all that stuff that I was saying about the Floyd Mayweather thing.

00:51:00.000 I just think that Athletic commissions, you know, like when they find people and when they get mad at people for stuff, sometimes they do it in a very heavy-handed way, and I think it's kind of obscene.

00:51:15.000 Like what happened with Vanderlei Silva I think is obscene.

00:51:18.000 You know that story.

00:51:19.000 They banned Vanderlei for life.

00:51:21.000 He ran away from a test, which he definitely shouldn't have done.

00:51:25.000 Definitely shouldn't have done.

00:51:26.000 But if he was on something that he shouldn't have been on, Suspend him as if you caught him for that something. 0.99

00:51:33.000 Like, suspend him for, you know, maybe an extra six months because he's a dick because he ran away from you. 0.98

00:51:39.000 But you can't save for life. 0.99

00:51:42.000 You can't just take away a guy.

00:51:44.000 It wasn't that isolated incident only.

00:51:47.000 Vanderlei?

00:51:48.000 It wasn't the only isolated incident.

00:51:50.000 Yeah, Vanderlei.

00:51:51.000 He didn't test positive before?

00:51:53.000 No, Vanderlei has never tested positive before.

00:51:55.000 Okay.

00:51:55.000 Ever.

00:51:57.000 No, I mean, it's not saying he hasn't done anything.

00:51:59.000 Like in Pride, you know, Ensign Inouye, when he's on here, he was talking about his Pride contract, and he said, and Eve Edwards said the same thing.

00:52:08.000 It said in capital letters, we do not test for steroids. 0.99

00:52:12.000 They give you a syringe on the house and shit. 0.97

00:52:15.000 Yeah, so, I mean, it's not saying that he didn't do him ever, but he never, Vanderlei never tested positive. 0.97

00:52:20.000 Never tested positive.

00:52:20.000 No.

00:52:21.000 So they had no reason to suspect him, other than, you know, if they follow the sniff test, you know, but he got no, there was no proof.

00:52:30.000 I mean, again, that's the only argument, whether it's proof or not proof, right?

00:52:33.000 It's not whether or not you think he was guilty.

00:52:35.000 I gotta tell you something. 0.98

00:52:36.000 I thought I had, like, good stories about hiding from probation officers and shit. 0.91

00:52:47.000 Oh, this is actual Ensign's contract? 0.91

00:52:51.000 Yeah, it says at the bottom there.

00:52:52.000 Oh, here it says, performance enhancing stimulants of steroid-based family are specifically excluded from the scope of the test.

00:53:02.000 Why don't they just write, have at it, boys?

00:53:05.000 And gals, too. 0.99

00:53:07.000 There was one probation officer in Boulder that used to fuck with me, so I had to hide from him from time to time. 0.99

00:53:13.000 But I've heard some stories years after about some of the Brazilian fighters and shit, what they've done with us, dug us down there, whatever the fuck it is. 0.99

00:53:22.000 Didn't Jose Alvo stop him at the airport? 0.99

00:53:24.000 Didn't something happen where they got their fucking visas returned or something like that? 1.00

00:53:29.000 The Brazilians are notorious for fucking with these people. 1.00

00:53:32.000 Fucking with them. 1.00

00:53:33.000 Something happened, they were at the airport and their visas got, then there was somebody else who had a problem. 0.99

00:53:39.000 Well, the guy came to Aldo's gym, and they didn't know who the guy was, and they didn't trust him.

00:53:46.000 You've got to also, I mean, all suspicions aside, that people always have when someone comes to you and says they're going to test you for steroids, and then you don't want to take that test, there's always going to be suspicion, but that's because you're guilty.

00:53:58.000 I think? 0.97

00:54:14.000 So he doesn't know if he's being fucked with. 0.99

00:54:16.000 He doesn't know if this is real. 0.99

00:54:18.000 If it's random, if they just show up, nobody warns you.

00:54:21.000 It's not like the UFC calls you up and says, Jose, how are you, man?

00:54:25.000 It's Mike from the UFC. I just want to let you know that this guy who's testing you right now for steroids is totally legit.

00:54:31.000 No, they just show up, dude.

00:54:33.000 They just show up and they don't even want to present you with information.

00:54:35.000 They don't want to present you with ID. Like Chael Sonnen was telling the story about how when they tested him and how bizarre it was.

00:54:42.000 Didn't he say they pulled him into a bathroom or something like that to tell him?

00:55:02.000 Not what happened with Tim Kennedy.

00:55:05.000 What happened with him?

00:55:06.000 That they went over to his house and he came home from the gym sweaty.

00:55:09.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:55:10.000 And the guy made him take a shower.

00:55:11.000 I don't know.

00:55:12.000 I didn't read the whole thing.

00:55:13.000 They couldn't do the test for like an hour for some reason.

00:55:16.000 I don't know.

00:55:17.000 I don't remember what the reason was.

00:55:19.000 Or maybe the guy had to get the test brought over or something.

00:55:22.000 And the guy went in the shower.

00:55:23.000 So he goes, I have to keep an eye on you.

00:55:25.000 He goes, really?

00:55:26.000 Well, listen.

00:55:26.000 He goes, I'm going to take a shower.

00:55:28.000 I just got done training.

00:55:29.000 And that's actually, especially if you're doing jujitsu, it's actually really important.

00:55:33.000 Important that you jump in the shower.

00:55:34.000 Yeah, because you get scratches, and those scratches on your body, you can get staph on those.

00:55:39.000 And staph lives in your nose, and it lives in saliva, and it lives in, like, when you're doing jujitsu, you're just awash in bacteria.

00:55:51.000 Holds USADA rip at gunpoint.

00:55:54.000 When is this?

00:55:55.000 The guy showed up in his driveway.

00:55:56.000 When is this?

00:55:57.000 This was in August.

00:55:58.000 Oh my god.

00:55:59.000 Demands to know who he is.

00:56:00.000 Here's the little story on it. 1.00

00:56:01.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:56:04.000 Yeah, these motherfuckers are coming over like the Cubans to your house. 1.00

00:56:06.000 If you're ever driving down Tim Kennedy's block, make sure he knows who the hell you are. 1.00

00:56:10.000 Yeah.

00:56:14.000 They pull up on you. 1.00

00:56:16.000 You can't do that shit, Joe. 1.00

00:56:17.000 You can't pull up on me like that. 1.00

00:56:19.000 After slowly pulling up to Kennedy's driveway and parking his car, the USADA collector was greeted at the wrong end of a barrel.

00:56:25.000 Whoa.

00:56:27.000 He demanded to know who he was.

00:56:29.000 It looks like Kennedy is cleaning up the streets as USADA tries to clean up professional mixed martial arts.

00:56:34.000 Wow.

00:56:39.000 Wow, this is crazy. 0.78

00:56:40.000 He's saying that he thought the USADA rep might be a terrorist disguised as a urine collector.

00:56:47.000 Wow, that's funny.

00:56:49.000 Yeah, that's a dangerous guy to sneak up on.

00:56:51.000 You gotta be real careful. 0.98

00:56:54.000 That's not a guy you want to fucking... 0.99

00:56:59.000 I know Diaz didn't let him in. 0.99

00:57:02.000 He just told him, I'm sleeping.

00:57:04.000 A lot of people don't like the idea of just being stopped.

00:57:08.000 You have to always worry about that.

00:57:10.000 That's an added element that you think of.

00:57:12.000 That you have to be stopped in the middle of your sleep.

00:57:15.000 Someone can wake you up at 7.30 in the morning.

00:57:17.000 Ding dong! 0.99

00:57:18.000 And you have to give them blood and piss right there. 0.99

00:57:21.000 You have to. 0.99

00:57:22.000 It's a deal.

00:57:23.000 So you've lost blood and piss?

00:57:24.000 I think so.

00:57:27.000 I think at the very least they're testing blood.

00:57:30.000 I know Nevada was doing urine too. 1.00

00:57:34.000 I wonder if they're still doing urine.

00:57:37.000 But the more stringent tests apparently are all blood-based.

00:57:44.000 You have to give them your schedule, where you're going, what time you're training.

00:57:48.000 Cowboy got in trouble.

00:57:49.000 That's tough.

00:57:50.000 That's tough.

00:57:51.000 Cowboy got in trouble because they said, we're at your ranch.

00:57:53.000 He goes, well, I'm at the UFC. And he's like, you have to let us know where you're going.

00:57:57.000 He goes, well, doesn't the UFC tell you I'm going to be here?

00:58:00.000 He's like, this is where I'm going.

00:58:01.000 Like, I'm promoting the UFC. I'm here for the UFC. I got a fight coming up.

00:58:05.000 That's why I'm there.

00:58:06.000 Like, they didn't tell you I was gonna be there?

00:58:08.000 And so they have to, like, warn him and give him, like, you're a bad boy, because we didn't know where you were. 1.00

00:58:13.000 Well, send someone here, motherfucker. 0.99

00:58:15.000 You know where he is now. 1.00

00:58:16.000 I'm here right here.

00:58:16.000 Yeah, but apparently he had to, like, give them his schedule.

00:58:19.000 Like, no matter where you...

00:58:22.000 Where you're going.

00:58:23.000 You know, I'm going to go fishing.

00:58:24.000 I'm going to be on this river.

00:58:25.000 Okay, we're going to show up.

00:58:27.000 Come down the river on a mountain bike and try to collect your piss or your blood or whatever. 0.70

00:58:33.000 You have no idea what life is when they get tracked second to second like that.

00:58:37.000 Oh, it must be horrible. 1.00

00:58:38.000 It's a fucking nightmare. 1.00

00:58:39.000 What is this, Jamie? 0.99

00:58:40.000 They have an app now so that they can check in and type in where they are.

00:58:45.000 That's so crazy!

00:58:47.000 Oh my god.

00:58:48.000 Oh my god, that's so crazy.

00:58:51.000 That's so crazy.

00:58:53.000 That's how far we have to go to keep people from doing steroids. 0.98

00:58:56.000 You gotta track them.

00:58:58.000 Track them like a drone.

00:59:00.000 You gotta follow them with a drone.

00:59:02.000 When they came to my house, I was a criminal.

00:59:04.000 I had given up my right. 0.98

00:59:06.000 It's so fucking bizarre. 0.98

00:59:08.000 And they would show up. 1.00

00:59:10.000 This one dude had it out for me because I told you I put the fucking Alka-Seltzer in the pistol one time and I fucked them up. 1.00

00:59:17.000 So now this little southern guy would come to me. 0.99

00:59:20.000 He'd show up at my job. 0.99

00:59:22.000 He'd show up fucking everywhere. 0.99

00:59:25.000 And like twice I gave him piss. 1.00

00:59:26.000 But at least I got to talk to him and shit. 0.99

00:59:28.000 He wasn't a bad guy. 0.99

00:59:29.000 He wasn't like not a heavy at all.

00:59:32.000 The one time I just wouldn't let him in.

00:59:34.000 And then he filed me for a probation violation.

00:59:36.000 But I proved I wasn't there.

00:59:37.000 I was at the airport.

00:59:41.000 Yeah, it's when someone...

00:59:43.000 I can't do it no more.

00:59:44.000 I couldn't be in a halfway house now. 0.99

00:59:46.000 That would put you in a weird position with that person.

00:59:49.000 No, you have no idea.

00:59:50.000 There's people who come out of prison, they put them in that situation, and they fail, and they go right back to prison.

00:59:55.000 And they'll tell you, I never want to be in a halfway house situation again. 1.00

00:59:58.000 Yeah.

00:59:58.000 Because it's too, you know...

01:00:01.000 It's not really freedom.

01:00:02.000 It's not really freedom in a way.

01:00:04.000 You know, at that level of gym.

01:00:06.000 Yeah, it's like they're weaning you off of freedom.

01:00:08.000 That's why it's a halfway house, right? 1.00

01:00:10.000 Right.

01:00:10.000 So, okay, I'm at the gym.

01:00:11.000 I leave work.

01:00:12.000 I got to call them and say I'm headed over to 10th Planet HQ. What's the address?

01:00:17.000 602, whatever.

01:00:18.000 And then as I'm leaving there, let's say you go, okay, we're going to go over across the street to get a protein shake.

01:00:24.000 And when you go over there, the place is closed.

01:00:26.000 So you go next door or something like that.

01:00:28.000 They can violate you for that.

01:00:32.000 Yeah.

01:00:34.000 It's tough to...

01:00:36.000 But it's working.

01:00:37.000 But it's working and it makes you accountable.

01:00:40.000 Yeah, it makes you accountable.

01:00:42.000 Which is the most important thing.

01:00:42.000 And you're definitely going to eliminate 90-something percent of the people that would be willing to take a chance and take a steroid.

01:00:51.000 But then there's always the possibility that there's people that are ahead of the curve.

01:00:55.000 You know, like we can't think that, you know, all those times when they had that clear stuff, when Victor Conte was using that stuff on his athletes that was undetectable, they would call it the clear.

01:01:07.000 And then they figured out what the clear was, and now you can test for it.

01:01:11.000 But back then, nobody had a test for it. 0.84

01:01:13.000 But once they find tests for whatever the fuck people are using now that are skirting around tests, we're going to go, oh, we thought those guys were clean. 0.68

01:01:21.000 There's going to be a certain percentage, whatever that percentage is, whether it's 10%, there's always going to be a percent that's trying something. 0.96

01:01:30.000 There's always going to be a percent that's willing to try something.

01:01:33.000 It's just out of all the people that we know are clean, if there's a hundred people, is it one guy that takes a chance and does something weird and then gets caught a few years later when they figure out a test for it?

01:01:44.000 It might be.

01:01:44.000 Victor Conte was taking it to different levels.

01:01:47.000 Oh, he was?

01:01:47.000 Gummy bears in the sixth inning?

01:01:49.000 Yeah.

01:01:50.000 Come on.

01:01:51.000 Yeah, and they would be out of your system. 1.00

01:01:53.000 Fucking gummy bears. 1.00

01:01:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:54.000 In the sixth inning. 1.00

01:01:55.000 Now, let me ask you a question.

01:01:56.000 I know you're not going to say yeah.

01:01:58.000 I know Jamie's been watching lately.

01:02:00.000 Jamie, tell me the truth.

01:02:01.000 Has Pete Rose been killing it lately?

01:02:03.000 Tell me the truth, Jamie.

01:02:04.000 Pete Rose?

01:02:05.000 What do you mean?

01:02:05.000 He's been killing it on national TV. Pete Rose.

01:02:08.000 The baseball player?

01:02:08.000 What's he doing?

01:02:09.000 He's doing like this, analyzing it.

01:02:12.000 But they got him and Alex Rodriguez.

01:02:14.000 Mm-hmm.

01:02:14.000 Oh my God.

01:02:15.000 They're killing it.

01:02:16.000 Joe Rogan, this is 2016, Pete Rose with a bow tie.

01:02:21.000 Because Pete Rose, no matter what, I've never been mad at Pete Rose.

01:02:25.000 Remember, Pete Rose was one of my heroes, though.

01:02:26.000 Yeah.

01:02:27.000 Pete Rose was one of my heroes.

01:02:28.000 I've never gotten mad at Pete Rose.

01:02:30.000 He's human. 1.00

01:02:31.000 But in a way, how they treated him, but he was a junkie, and he was a piece of shit for a while. 1.00

01:02:35.000 Like, he was a gambling junkie, you know? 1.00

01:02:37.000 He was a piece of shit for a while. 1.00

01:02:38.000 But enough, he's fucking Pete Rose, dog. 1.00

01:02:41.000 Right. 0.99

01:02:42.000 I'm telling you, I watched this show one night, and I was dying how funny he is, like how crazy he is.

01:02:48.000 And they're gonna keep him around, Fox. 0.99

01:02:50.000 I hope they fucking do. 0.98

01:02:52.000 Did you ever watch him, Joe, anything? 1.00

01:02:54.000 Look at him there.

01:02:55.000 That bow tie.

01:02:57.000 That's classic.

01:03:00.000 How old is Pete Rose now?

01:03:05.000 50s or 60s?

01:03:07.000 60s?

01:03:08.000 I just feel bad that, you know, there was all the speculation that he had done 75. Wow.

01:03:15.000 Jesus!

01:03:16.000 Yeah.

01:03:17.000 There was all that speculation that he had gambled on his own team.

01:03:21.000 But I don't think that was ever shown.

01:03:23.000 Listen, you have to assume.

01:03:25.000 I'm a gambler.

01:03:25.000 Can you do me a favor, Jamie?

01:03:27.000 Can you put up for Joe Rogan?

01:03:28.000 Can you put up...

01:03:29.000 Pete Rose against Ron Boone in the All-Star game.

01:03:33.000 This is when you...

01:03:33.000 I had to show people at a bar one night.

01:03:35.000 I go, you youngsters never know who Pete Rose is.

01:03:37.000 Nah, let me just show you who Pete Rose is.

01:03:40.000 Pete Rose tackles Ron Boone, but the beauty of this, it's an All-Star game.

01:03:45.000 You never saw this, Joe Rose?

01:03:46.000 No.

01:03:50.000 Look at you.

01:03:50.000 You're beside yourself.

01:03:52.000 Oh, no, no, because I might get allergies and shit in the afternoon. 0.99

01:03:54.000 Oh, boom. 0.99

01:03:55.000 Look at this.

01:03:56.000 This is this guy, how he played. 0.94

01:03:58.000 Like, this guy was an American savage. 0.53

01:04:00.000 Oh, yeah. 0.96

01:04:01.000 He's a barbarian. 0.82

01:04:02.000 Charlie Hussle.

01:04:03.000 But this is crazy.

01:04:04.000 This is still the...

01:04:05.000 Look at this.

01:04:09.000 Oh, my God.

01:04:10.000 He just took him out. 1.00

01:04:12.000 And he tells him, don't ever block that fucking base again, cocksucker. 1.00

01:04:15.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:04:16.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:04:19.000 Like he was the last of the real fucking Americans. 1.00

01:04:21.000 He fucked up. 1.00

01:04:22.000 Yeah, I'm a gambler. 1.00

01:04:25.000 He bet on his own shit. 1.00

01:04:26.000 Oh shit, he wrecked that dude. 1.00

01:04:31.000 He literally tackled him. 1.00

01:04:34.000 Oh my god.

01:04:35.000 Full clip, shoulder down.

01:04:37.000 Now, here's the beauty.

01:04:38.000 If you put on...

01:04:39.000 And then he yelled at him.

01:04:40.000 Let me tell you something.

01:04:41.000 1973, I was 10 years old and I went to see the Mets against the Cincinnati Reds. 0.99

01:04:45.000 I was in my fucking haven. 0.99

01:04:47.000 It was the fucking All-Star game. 1.00

01:04:48.000 It was the National League Eastern Conference and he beat up... 1.00

01:04:54.000 Bud Harrelson II. I left there.

01:04:56.000 Look at this. 0.98

01:04:57.000 I left there so fucking happy. 0.97

01:04:59.000 I went there with my mom, my stepdad. 0.97

01:05:01.000 We were sitting behind Tony Perez's family.

01:05:03.000 And Pete Rose is beating up on Bud Harrelson. 1.00

01:05:07.000 I left there with my fucking dick harder than that. 1.00

01:05:10.000 And I had the chicken pox. 1.00

01:05:11.000 I had the chicken pox. 1.00

01:05:12.000 I went to that game with the fucking chicken pox. 0.99

01:05:14.000 So here's my question to you. 1.00

01:05:16.000 Go ahead.

01:05:16.000 How come this can't happen today?

01:05:19.000 How come the guy can't run into the guy at home base today?

01:05:22.000 That would be a three-month suspension.

01:05:25.000 Three-month suspension.

01:05:26.000 That would definitely be a suspension.

01:05:28.000 It was nothing, right?

01:05:29.000 Nothing.

01:05:29.000 And that was one of the greatest.

01:05:31.000 Look at that team right there that's playing.

01:05:33.000 That's one of the greatest.

01:05:34.000 You'll never see anything like that again.

01:05:36.000 Oh, look at this.

01:05:36.000 They're going after it.

01:05:36.000 Yeah, that's New York City.

01:05:37.000 This is fucking tremendous, though. 0.99

01:05:39.000 Oh, my goodness. 0.98

01:05:40.000 This is awesome.

01:05:40.000 What a fight.

01:05:41.000 Oh, why'd they cut it off?

01:05:43.000 What a terrible time to edit it.

01:05:44.000 It was just getting good.

01:05:46.000 Yeah, Pete Rose got in a bunch of fistfights, right?

01:05:49.000 Fistfights, he used to tackle you at second.

01:05:51.000 You know, he played baseball, bro.

01:05:52.000 He played, you know, Cincinnati, somebody would get hurt on Cincinnati Reds, and bench would automatically go to first.

01:06:00.000 And Plummer would play. 1.00

01:06:02.000 Like, Plummer was like fucking God. 0.99

01:06:04.000 And he sat by, you know, it was just a, you know, when me and Goldberg get together, we talk about the Cincinnati Reds because I grew up on them. 0.99

01:06:11.000 But at this point, I think, I don't give a fuck about the Hall of Fame for Pete Rose. 0.89

01:06:15.000 I know he gambled on his own team. 0.95

01:06:17.000 But if you know any history of gambling and professional sports, guess what, Joe Rogan? 1.00

01:06:23.000 They're all losers. 0.99

01:06:24.000 They all lose a ton of money. 1.00

01:06:27.000 Tons of money. 1.00

01:06:28.000 From Arch Leetster to fucking Pete Rose. 0.99

01:06:31.000 There was another one that used to bet on... 0.99

01:06:33.000 Arch Leetster didn't get caught betting on himself. 0.99

01:06:37.000 But he's known to fucking lose everything on professional gambling. 0.94

01:06:40.000 These guys all called right from downstairs. 0.98

01:06:43.000 Nobody think they're the only ones who did it?

01:06:45.000 Is that what you're trying to tell me? 1.00

01:06:46.000 I have a brother who's a fucking moron, but he's married to my sister. 1.00

01:06:51.000 And I know he's a dumb fucking loser gambler. 1.00

01:06:53.000 I can't call him and say to him, listen, fucking Malik Shaw, his ankle's hurting tonight. 1.00

01:06:57.000 Bet against him. 0.99

01:06:58.000 You know, whatever.

01:06:59.000 I can't.

01:07:01.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:07:01.000 I mean, a lot of fucking people do it. 1.00

01:07:04.000 Pete Rose, they hate him. 1.00

01:07:06.000 He used to tell them, fuck you. 1.00

01:07:08.000 When you play like that, what do you think? 1.00

01:07:10.000 You don't think your rest of your life is telling people to go fuck themselves? 1.00

01:07:13.000 Who does that in 1973 in an All-Star game? 1.00

01:07:16.000 Doesn't mean anything.

01:07:17.000 So the players didn't like him? 0.99

01:07:20.000 He was against the fucking system since day one. 0.99

01:07:24.000 Then he went and he became a player. 0.99

01:07:26.000 See, when he was gambling on himself, he was a player manager, supposedly.

01:07:29.000 A player manager.

01:07:31.000 But me and my gambling mind, he'd been gambling the whole time.

01:07:35.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:07:36.000 Let's not say that he just started gambling one day.

01:07:39.000 No, he'd been gambling the whole time because in the 70s it was a little less frowned upon.

01:07:45.000 Who do you like today?

01:07:46.000 I got this horse in the third row.

01:07:48.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:07:48.000 Yeah.

01:07:49.000 And one day that basketball bet and that football bet becomes a baseball bet.

01:07:53.000 Well, people had...

01:07:54.000 Bookies were really common.

01:07:55.000 Common.

01:07:56.000 Everybody had a book.

01:07:57.000 Is it less common today?

01:07:59.000 Yes, today because everything is done on computers and people could do stuff like that.

01:08:03.000 But 30 years ago, August, this skinny guy would lurk at the bar you went to.

01:08:08.000 And that's the book.

01:08:10.000 There he is.

01:08:10.000 What do you want to do?

01:08:11.000 You give him cash. 0.99

01:08:12.000 After three or four or five fucking weeks, he starts letting you bet on credit. 0.99

01:08:16.000 What do you think they're worried about why they keep gambling like that illegal? 0.99

01:08:20.000 Do you think they're worried we're just going to go crazy and just gamble all the money away?

01:08:23.000 Like, what are they worried about?

01:08:25.000 Like, why would you protect someone from gambling?

01:08:28.000 Are you trying to keep people prosperous by removing the threat?

01:08:33.000 They can't do it, so because they can't do it, a lot of people who'd fall into gambling won't because we're going to protect them from themselves?

01:08:39.000 Because that doesn't seem to make any sense to me.

01:08:41.000 I think some states look upon it like, when I was a kid, the reason why my parents did numbers in the city is because they gave you a ticket in the city and a felony in Jersey.

01:08:50.000 So wait a second, Joey. 0.96

01:08:52.000 With all those degenerate motherfuckers in the tri-state area, what you're telling me is, if you got arrested for gambling in New York City in the 70s and 80s, you got a ticket. 0.99

01:09:03.000 The cops said, what are we going to do? 1.00

01:09:05.000 I got a thousand of these motherfuckers popping apartment buildings all over the place. 1.00

01:09:09.000 If you went to Harlem in the 70s, it was all little bodegas and everybody took action. 0.99

01:09:14.000 Whether it was numbers, the Knicks...

01:09:17.000 The Brooklyn number, the Roosevelt number. 1.00

01:09:19.000 Remember, there's five numbers that come out in fucking New York. 0.99

01:09:22.000 Did I ever tell you my grandmother got arrested? 0.99

01:09:24.000 Yes.

01:09:24.000 Yeah.

01:09:25.000 For one of the numbers.

01:09:26.000 You run numbers.

01:09:27.000 It's something that you do in the neighborhood.

01:09:28.000 You become a part of it.

01:09:30.000 You get accepted.

01:09:30.000 Okay.

01:09:31.000 For years, okay?

01:09:32.000 Everybody...

01:09:33.000 Well, I did.

01:09:34.000 I don't know about you.

01:09:34.000 Once a month, even if I over-exaggerate, once a month, somebody would pull me aside and go, Hey, man.

01:09:40.000 You know anybody who wants sneakers?

01:09:42.000 What do you got?

01:09:43.000 Yeah.

01:09:44.000 I got compers.

01:09:45.000 Okay.

01:09:45.000 They usually go for 20. For you, I'll give them to you for seven.

01:09:49.000 You don't even ask.

01:09:51.000 You just know they're stolen.

01:09:53.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:09:54.000 I'm not going to embarrass you.

01:09:56.000 You come to my house.

01:09:57.000 You're my friend, right, Joe?

01:09:58.000 You come to my house.

01:09:59.000 Joe, how you doing?

01:10:01.000 This is kind of embarrassing.

01:10:02.000 My cousin, he owns a store and he's having a sale on TVs.

01:10:06.000 I know it's 6 o'clock.

01:10:07.000 It's a little late, but they're Trinitrons.

01:10:10.000 They're 400 brand new.

01:10:11.000 I need 100. They're in a box with a warranty.

01:10:14.000 Christmas is coming.

01:10:16.000 You don't ask if they're stolen. 1.00

01:10:19.000 That's a regular fucking day for a guy in Pittsburgh, Connecticut. 0.98

01:10:23.000 Is that more of an East Coast thing, where people come to you with an open van? 0.98

01:10:28.000 Well, I'm not an open van.

01:10:29.000 I'm talking not people, not strangers.

01:10:31.000 I'm talking about Jamie.

01:10:32.000 You know Jamie three, four years, and Jamie's got a cousin that gets watches.

01:10:36.000 Right.

01:10:36.000 He gets the best watch in the world.

01:10:39.000 They're $52,000, but Jamie can get him for $22 cash.

01:10:43.000 $22,000 and $20 goes to the guy and Jamie gets two off the top.

01:10:47.000 Are you going to torture Jamie and embarrass him?

01:10:50.000 Like, so when did you get this?

01:10:51.000 Am I going to get arrested?

01:10:52.000 No. 1.00

01:10:52.000 Give him the $22,000 and move on with your fucking life. 1.00

01:10:56.000 Right? 1.00

01:10:56.000 Is that bad karma? 1.00

01:10:58.000 Who knows?

01:10:59.000 By stolen goods?

01:10:59.000 No, because Montecumbo gets the insurance back from you and they get it even higher.

01:11:04.000 They get the retail back.

01:11:06.000 They don't even get the wholesale, so everybody makes out.

01:11:09.000 Nice.

01:11:09.000 If you take it off somebody's watch and put a gun to his head, then you gotta bump into something bad.

01:11:13.000 Right.

01:11:13.000 The physical act of taking it from a person is different from a truck disappearing.

01:11:16.000 Well, no matter what, there's something involved, but you don't have nothing to do with it.

01:11:20.000 If somebody shows up at your doorstep, it's two weeks away from Christmas...

01:11:23.000 What a surprise.

01:11:25.000 You have the Nintendo game my son wants or the PS3 or the PS4. How much of those things brand new?

01:11:31.000 How much?

01:11:32.000 300 brand new.

01:11:33.000 I show up at your house for a buck and a quarter with three of them.

01:11:35.000 You're going to take all three of them.

01:11:37.000 I know a dude who thought he was buying a stereo, but he's actually buying bricks.

01:11:41.000 You got one of those stereo back. 1.00

01:11:43.000 Right, but he's a fucking half a Momo. 0.99

01:11:44.000 He stopped at the street and bought it from a guy named Jamal. 1.00

01:11:47.000 I had a guy, I was buying pet food. 0.99

01:11:49.000 I pulled into this parking spot, I got out, and this dude literally opened the van like he was going to take me in and fuck me. 0.99

01:11:54.000 Like I was like some little kid who was about to scoop up out of the woods. 1.00

01:11:57.000 Like it was a molester.

01:11:59.000 And I'm like, what?

01:12:00.000 What do you got?

01:12:01.000 And he's like, stereos.

01:12:02.000 You want to buy a stereo?

01:12:03.000 I was like, this is the weirdest.

01:12:05.000 He opened up the door as people parked the car and was literally like, hey man, you want some of this?

01:12:12.000 Like, what?

01:12:13.000 You're asking for trouble if you do business with one of those guys. 1.00

01:12:16.000 Well, that's the most obvious shit ever. 0.99

01:12:19.000 You know, he's just randomly trying to sell a stereo to the back of a van. 0.99

01:12:22.000 Now, what are these things that they do in whatever?

01:12:25.000 Like, people go and they have, what are they called?

01:12:28.000 Junkets here?

01:12:29.000 Press junkets?

01:12:30.000 No, no, no.

01:12:31.000 I'm sorry. 0.85

01:12:31.000 The thing off the fucking Five that you always see in the movies and all the fucking Friday, they all go to a place and they buy stereos and Raider hats. 0.85

01:12:42.000 Oh, swap meet? 0.99

01:12:43.000 Swap meet. 0.80

01:12:44.000 Oh, yeah.

01:12:45.000 Okay.

01:12:45.000 Well, in L.A., it's a swap meet.

01:12:47.000 In Jersey, they called...

01:12:49.000 What are they called?

01:12:50.000 Flea market.

01:12:51.000 Something like that.

01:12:52.000 Yeah.

01:12:52.000 Because when I was a kid, I used to go to...

01:12:55.000 Well, they used to do the bicycles, whatever, the streetcar races.

01:12:59.000 Yeah.

01:12:59.000 And next door to it, they had whatever it was called.

01:13:02.000 And you'd go there, and they had pretty much shit that was stolen. 0.98

01:13:06.000 It was just a festival, and they charged a table fee. 0.98

01:13:10.000 Because everything was 50% off.

01:13:12.000 Even the sneakers, I remember. 0.96

01:13:14.000 And then we found out that the guy would go to the fucking factory and jump over the fence and take all the sneakers that were mistakes. 0.95

01:13:26.000 So the irregulars, they would take those and just sell them at those flea markets, swap meets. 0.98

01:13:33.000 And then we found out, we cut into his action.

01:13:35.000 I swear to God, we cut into that action and the banaca action.

01:13:40.000 Remember those tubes of banaca?

01:13:42.000 Breast spray? 0.99

01:13:43.000 They would throw thousands of them out with the little things, like the chemical was off, you start blinking too much.

01:13:50.000 Like, the chemical would be off, then it was pepper spray, like real pepper spray, like people would spray it, and you'd see, what happened?

01:13:57.000 It's not regular binaca.

01:13:58.000 What is that, tear gas?

01:13:59.000 It was like the tear gas.

01:14:04.000 And we had the Spanish kid that was half-retard, and we'd make him jump the fence, and we'd have thousands of tubes. 1.00

01:14:10.000 And we'd sell them for 50 cents apiece on Monday in the 6th and 7th grade.

01:14:14.000 Hilarious.

01:14:15.000 But there was always three kids that complained.

01:14:17.000 There was a little, like, the chemical imbalance was all...

01:14:24.000 Oh, it's hilarious.

01:14:25.000 Yeah, there's like more shenanigans in the East Coast, it seems like.

01:14:29.000 But no, you know who cut into that sneaker business?

01:14:31.000 Who?

01:14:32.000 Ross.

01:14:33.000 Ross Dress for Less?

01:14:34.000 Sure, all those companies that you go and the jeans are 20% off because there's a regular stitch. 0.99

01:14:39.000 Now they became the fucking junkets for those. 0.77

01:14:41.000 You know how you have a friend that has a bit and then that bit is always connected to that place? 0.99

01:14:48.000 Like Ross Dress for Less is Sebastian.

01:14:50.000 Right, every time you go to Ross.

01:14:51.000 Sometimes I don't even go to Ross because I think it's Sebastian.

01:14:54.000 I mean, that's like, I can't see Ross dressed for less.

01:14:57.000 Ross?

01:14:58.000 Dressed for less?

01:15:00.000 What is this mountain of flip-flops in his shoes? 1.00

01:15:06.000 When he just pulls shit off the shelf and just fucking throws it down the aisle. 0.99

01:15:11.000 That's a funny bit, but it's one of those, it just cements in your head if you think about Ross dressed for less. 0.99

01:15:17.000 Like, what other, there's gotta be other bits like that, right?

01:15:21.000 Like, okay, roller derbies or roller skating rinks.

01:15:24.000 I take my daughter to a roller skating thing. 0.61

01:15:26.000 It's a little party at a roller skating rink.

01:15:28.000 Everybody skates around.

01:15:29.000 You know what I think about?

01:15:30.000 Brent Ernst and his crazy roller skater bit.

01:15:33.000 Remember that bit about the old dude that was really good that would go to the skater rink and skate backwards?

01:15:39.000 It was hilarious.

01:15:41.000 Let me ask you something.

01:15:42.000 In your years in the East Coast, did you ever go roller skate at one of those places on Sunday with Guido and Cousin Vinny?

01:15:48.000 No, I missed a lot of stuff because once I got into martial arts, I didn't want to do anything that would hurt me outside of martial arts because I didn't want to get hurt.

01:15:56.000 So I didn't want to ski.

01:15:58.000 I didn't want to ride motorcycles.

01:15:59.000 I didn't want to skate.

01:16:01.000 I didn't roller skate.

01:16:02.000 I didn't ice skate.

01:16:03.000 I don't know how to ice skate.

01:16:04.000 No, that's dangerous. 1.00

01:16:06.000 Fuck you. 1.00

01:16:06.000 I bowled. 1.00

01:16:08.000 I got a bowling ball at some point in the game.

01:16:10.000 That wasn't bad.

01:16:11.000 I'd go to the Bronx and bowl.

01:16:13.000 I rolled a skate.

01:16:14.000 I went, like, three times in the seventh grade.

01:16:17.000 In, like, Paramus, New Jersey.

01:16:20.000 Had, like, a roller rink.

01:16:21.000 And it was the one that Brennan was just talking about.

01:16:25.000 Oh, really?

01:16:26.000 Staying alive.

01:16:27.000 Yeah.

01:16:28.000 You would, you know.

01:16:30.000 First I was afraid.

01:16:31.000 I was petrified.

01:16:32.000 Well, Brett would do this bit, and he would do it with music. 0.99

01:16:36.000 And they would flash the lights and shit, and he would... 0.93

01:16:40.000 I don't want to give it away.

01:16:41.000 I don't think he does it anymore, but if you haven't seen it, go find it if it's online somewhere.

01:16:45.000 It's hilarious.

01:16:47.000 I used to go to the one, and the guys that took me were older than I was.

01:16:51.000 And for me, it was just to skate around.

01:16:54.000 For them, it was to pick up chicks. 1.00

01:16:57.000 You follow me? 1.00

01:16:58.000 And they would get all dressed up and shit. 1.00

01:17:00.000 And then they would roll around. 0.99

01:17:01.000 And if you went up to a girl and asked her to roller skate, that was the beginning of the relationship. 1.00

01:17:05.000 That type of shit. 1.00

01:17:06.000 And they played disco music. 1.00

01:17:08.000 I went like three times.

01:17:10.000 It wasn't for me.

01:17:11.000 But the best thing, a guy had a wig and he fell.

01:17:13.000 And the wig fell off, and everybody surrounded him. 0.99

01:17:16.000 And that was my highlight of the fucking roller skating rink. 0.99

01:17:19.000 I never went back to the roller skating rink. 0.99

01:17:22.000 When did you know that you just...

01:17:25.000 Did you have a point in your life where you knew that you were going to be a comic?

01:17:30.000 No.

01:17:31.000 But did you ever look back at moments like that, where the guy falls down, his wig falls off, and it's your favorite part of the day?

01:17:40.000 No, that was the whole thing.

01:17:41.000 Like, you laughed your ass off. 0.90

01:17:43.000 I love laughing.

01:17:44.000 Yeah, I know you do. 0.99

01:17:44.000 I love laughing at the fucking most absurd... 0.99

01:17:48.000 Like, when I saw a guy get hit on a snowball in New York City... 0.99

01:17:52.000 Like on a bus, like when people throw snowballs at each other.

01:17:55.000 Right.

01:17:55.000 And I was in the back of the bus, and this guy sat in the area where people get hit with snowballs, and the window was open.

01:18:02.000 And I'm like, this motherfucker's gonna get hit. 0.99

01:18:04.000 I'll never forget this. 1.00

01:18:05.000 It was like deja vu.

01:18:06.000 And all of a sudden, sitting in the back of the bus, and this guy's happy.

01:18:09.000 He's talking in Italian.

01:18:12.000 He was like a tourist.

01:18:14.000 He was a tourist Italian.

01:18:16.000 And it was the day after the storm in the East Coast where it's sunny out and that snow's melting, but kids are out.

01:18:22.000 They don't have school and they're throwing snowballs on Kennedy Boulevard.

01:18:24.000 And this guy gets on the bus, doesn't close the window. 0.99

01:18:27.000 Rule number one, as soon as you get on those Kennedy Boulevard buses, you close the fucking window, Jack. 0.99

01:18:31.000 Because there's an area that it becomes like apocalypse now. 0.99

01:18:35.000 Remember when they threw spears?

01:18:36.000 Remember when they were on the lake? 0.99

01:18:38.000 And all of a sudden they got really fucked up. 0.99

01:18:39.000 They started getting hit with spears. 1.00

01:18:41.000 That's how it would get hit with snowballs.

01:18:43.000 And I saw it, Joe Rogan.

01:18:45.000 The guy sitting down, laughing.

01:18:47.000 And all of a sudden you could hear the... 1.00

01:18:49.000 And I hit him right in the fucking face. 1.00

01:18:52.000 I knocked him off the chair. 1.00

01:18:55.000 He was in the aisle seat and he went into the middle and he got up and he kept saying, stop at the bus.

01:19:00.000 Stop at the bus. 0.99

01:19:02.000 And I'm fucking howling with my little buddies in the back. 1.00

01:19:05.000 You know, shit like that you cannot write. 0.99

01:19:08.000 Like as a child, the things you saw, like the time I went to the haunted house, that they take you to like the Brigham Dean Castle haunted house. 0.99

01:19:19.000 Me and a bunch of little white Italian kids.

01:19:21.000 We're crazy, but we're nice people. 0.85

01:19:23.000 But like three of us thought we were badder than bad, but what we didn't know was that night East Orange was coming in one of those black neighborhoods and they got off the bus and we're walking behind them. 0.78

01:19:33.000 I told you, Joe Rogan, I seen one of the kids just start wailing on Dracula.

01:19:37.000 Just start beating on Dracula. 1.00

01:19:39.000 When you're 13 or 12 and you think you're a bad motherfucker, but some dude's beating Dracula up in the Brigantine Castle, you can't write that shit. 1.00

01:19:47.000 Like, that'll stay with me forever, seeing that in a haunted house. 1.00

01:19:50.000 Till this day, I don't go to haunted houses, because these kids beat up Dracula.

01:19:53.000 Then they were pulling them out, Joe Rogan. 0.99

01:19:57.000 And kicking them and shit. 0.99

01:19:58.000 And the other ghouls are trying to help them. 1.00

01:20:01.000 This only happens in Jersey.

01:20:03.000 You can't describe these animal experiences.

01:20:05.000 Well, we were just talking about what happened at a Raiders game.

01:20:09.000 Oh, yeah.

01:20:09.000 You were talking about this before the podcast.

01:20:12.000 I'm glad you just brought that up, but about the Raiders coming to Vegas.

01:20:15.000 And you were talking about what happened recently at a Raiders game, Jamie, where some guy got beaten into a coma.

01:20:23.000 Well, this was earlier this month in October.

01:20:25.000 He was in critical condition after a Ravens-Raiders game.

01:20:29.000 30% chance to survive.

01:20:31.000 And two guys got arrested?

01:20:33.000 Yeah.

01:20:34.000 They just beat him up?

01:20:35.000 Yeah.

01:20:36.000 Do we know what the story was?

01:20:37.000 At the time of this was written, it said that it was unclear why the altercation started.

01:20:40.000 They just started fighting on their way out the game.

01:20:42.000 Well, who knows then?

01:20:44.000 Who knows what happened?

01:20:46.000 If that's the case.

01:20:48.000 But it is two on one.

01:20:49.000 But, I mean, who even knows what happened?

01:20:53.000 We're talking about the violence at these games.

01:20:56.000 This is at a preseason at a Rams game at the Coliseum.

01:21:00.000 Just fans brutally fighting.

01:21:03.000 It's happened all the time at any stadium.

01:21:06.000 Just pick a stadium, there's gonna be fights there basically.

01:21:08.000 Oh my god, this is crazy.

01:21:10.000 This guy just dragged this guy that this other guy was beating up.

01:21:13.000 He dragged the guy over the top of the stairs and then he started beating him up.

01:21:17.000 Oh my god, this is crazy.

01:21:20.000 This is insane.

01:21:21.000 And there's no security? 0.99

01:21:23.000 Where the fuck is security? 0.97

01:21:24.000 Well, the preseason game with the Rams, this happened and something else happened, so I guess the Rams didn't want to pay up. 0.98

01:21:32.000 And the city didn't want to pay up, but I guess the Rams ended up having to pay up to put security at these games.

01:21:38.000 Now, are Raiders games particularly violent, or is it all sports games? 0.98

01:21:44.000 Well, at this point, who the fuck really knows? 1.00

01:21:47.000 Right, like, there's a bunch of shit. 0.99

01:21:48.000 I've been to a couple Dodger games, and they're not violent at all. 0.99

01:21:51.000 What about in Philly? 0.99

01:21:52.000 There's a couple arguments and shit. 0.98

01:21:53.000 Well, Philly, in the old days, I don't know about this new stadium now, with all the... 0.99

01:21:57.000 In the old days, that was get-out-of-hell-quick town. 0.99

01:22:00.000 They even had the fucking court downstairs. 0.99

01:22:02.000 But... 1.00

01:22:04.000 Over the last couple years, it's like they fuck people up. 0.97

01:22:07.000 You're just not getting into a push fight and two cops coming between you. 0.97

01:22:10.000 Right. 1.00

01:22:11.000 It's like three guys beating up on you at these fucking events. 1.00

01:22:13.000 You're going there with your children to watch a football game, you know. 0.99

01:22:17.000 Do you know a guy tried to...

01:22:19.000 Two men get prisoned for Dodger Stadium Giants' hand attack.

01:22:22.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:22:23.000 He's killed, I'm pretty sure, after a fight after a baseball game.

01:22:25.000 Oh, man. 1.00

01:22:27.000 God damn it. 0.99

01:22:28.000 Well, this guy was the one that they... 1.00

01:22:30.000 He had a blood clot.

01:22:32.000 And they couldn't find the killers, so they went to the tape.

01:22:34.000 I mean, they narrowed it all the way down to the tickets. 1.00

01:22:38.000 For a stupid fucking game. 1.00

01:22:40.000 Listen, I could go to a game and have a good time and yell and scream and get three beers and all of a sudden I go, yeah, I like the Giants. 1.00

01:22:45.000 And you're like, I like the Cowboys.

01:22:47.000 And that's it.

01:22:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:48.000 But now it's like people come up to you and punch you in the fucking head. 1.00

01:22:51.000 If you like somebody else, if you're walking out of the stadium and that team lost and you have that shirt on... 1.00

01:22:57.000 But do certain teams have, like, a fan mentality?

01:23:02.000 You know, like, there's certain teams in other sports.

01:23:05.000 Like, doesn't Manchester United, Jamie, you know something about soccer, right?

01:23:09.000 Don't they have, like, a certain, like, rabid fan personality?

01:23:12.000 Like, the hooligans.

01:23:13.000 Not just Man U, I think it's a lot.

01:23:15.000 Each team over there, they all have their, like, little sect, their club, and they just kind of brawl.

01:23:21.000 I don't know.

01:23:22.000 It's just what they do, I think.

01:23:24.000 Now, does this happen in college football also at these stadiums?

01:23:27.000 I never hear anything about college.

01:23:28.000 They just this year, I think, allowed drinking in some stadiums in college.

01:23:32.000 Up until maybe like a year or two ago, you weren't even allowed.

01:23:35.000 I just went to a game at Ohio Stadium last year.

01:23:37.000 They should definitely not allow them to drink.

01:23:39.000 Yeah, you're only allowed to get beer, maybe.

01:23:41.000 Even so!

01:23:42.000 Like, there's no liquor.

01:23:43.000 But that's just there.

01:23:45.000 Yeah, but you still got the tailgating, Joe Rogan.

01:23:47.000 That's where the damage is done.

01:23:48.000 Oh, for sure.

01:23:49.000 But don't allow them to keep the party rolling while they're up in the stands on your property.

01:23:52.000 They still stop after halftime.

01:23:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:23:55.000 They stop in the third quarter in some places.

01:23:57.000 Years ago, I know a giant stadium stopped in the third quarter.

01:24:00.000 Our discussion this morning was about they're building the stadium right across from the Mandalay Bay. 0.95

01:24:05.000 Like, when they're thinking of building it, I'm like, you know, man, a fucking Sunday to get out of here now. 0.97

01:24:12.000 Let me ask you this. 0.74

01:24:13.000 Is there a benefit to keeping, like, say if they bought a team that's for sale, like the Raiders, let's just say the Raiders, is there a benefit to keeping that name?

01:24:23.000 Or is there a benefit to starting, it's going to be in Las Vegas, is there a benefit to changing the name?

01:24:28.000 Well, they're going to call them the Las Vegas Raiders, but because of what people call today branding, It's the Raiders.

01:24:36.000 They're going to keep the Raiders.

01:24:37.000 They'll keep the black and silver and the whole...

01:24:39.000 I mean, why change the whole mentality?

01:24:41.000 Now they're in Vegas.

01:24:43.000 That's so crazy that they're going to be in Vegas.

01:24:45.000 And this is their stadium.

01:24:46.000 Las Vegas committee sends Raiders stadium plan to governor.

01:24:49.000 It looks insane.

01:24:51.000 I'll tell you what, man, I've never been to a live football game, not a big-ass crazy NFL game, but I can only imagine the energy must be insane.

01:24:59.000 It must be insane. 0.93

01:25:01.000 When you get 100,000 people screaming at the top of their lungs when some shit goes down, it makes you wonder, man, what it would have been like to see the Coliseum in Rome. 0.98

01:25:11.000 I mean, imagine what that must have been like. 0.99

01:25:15.000 And with real blood, people's heads got chopped off.

01:25:18.000 Real blood. 1.00

01:25:18.000 Swords and shit. 1.00

01:25:19.000 Russell Crowe stabbing motherfuckers. 1.00

01:25:22.000 It's like that is the same, we're looking at essentially is the same progression from like Pete Rose to today's baseball, you know, versus like Gladiators to like some crazy football game. 1.00

01:25:34.000 It's like, it's just, there's just, there's no way we want to slide back to that sword fighting shit again. 0.97

01:25:41.000 There's no way. 0.97

01:25:41.000 That would be the one thing like, yeah, you can't do that. 0.97

01:25:46.000 One thing I noticed the last couple weeks, because during the year I don't really sit and watch baseball.

01:25:50.000 It's around the World Series that I watch a game.

01:25:53.000 The other day in the green room we were watching it.

01:25:55.000 Now they even have like jaw pieces.

01:25:59.000 Jaw pieces?

01:25:59.000 They have tons of protection now.

01:26:02.000 So if you're a batter...

01:26:03.000 Oh, if you get hit with a ball?

01:26:04.000 Yes.

01:26:04.000 So if you're a batter and you're a right-handed batter, your helmet now comes down to here.

01:26:10.000 So all you could see is the ball.

01:26:12.000 Oh, that's weird.

01:26:13.000 So if the ball...

01:26:14.000 Yeah, somebody's jaw must have got broken or something like that.

01:26:16.000 I mean, they're looking to protect you. 1.00

01:26:18.000 Pete Rose's game, he was a fucking gladiator. 0.96

01:26:22.000 Well, when I was a kid, I remember that's when that guy, Tony Canigliaro, is that his name? 0.99

01:26:27.000 The guy who got hit with a ball?

01:26:29.000 Who's the guy that got hit with a ball?

01:26:31.000 He was a big player in the Boston Red Sox.

01:26:35.000 He got hit with a ball and was never the same again.

01:26:39.000 I was a baseball fan until I started martial arts, so until I was like 14 or 15. I forget the story, but I remember thinking, man, I did not know a baseball could fuck you up that bad. 0.96

01:26:52.000 This guy was essentially net... 0.87

01:26:54.000 Tony Conigliaro.

01:26:55.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:26:56.000 So he got hit with his baseball, and he was just never the same again.

01:26:59.000 And he was a star player before he got hit.

01:27:04.000 And sort of never recovered. 0.98

01:27:06.000 It was all fucked up afterwards. 0.95

01:27:08.000 But that... 0.98

01:27:09.000 I don't remember when he died, but I believe he died young.

01:27:14.000 90 miles an hour.

01:27:15.000 88 miles an hour.

01:27:17.000 Even faster.

01:27:19.000 I mean, some guys like Roger Clemens, what did he throw in his prime?

01:27:22.000 98, 99, maybe 100. You know, this was the 70s, right?

01:27:26.000 Yeah.

01:27:27.000 So the 80s, they still weren't...

01:27:29.000 You know, they were still throwing 88. I mean, the technology might have been a little wrong, you know.

01:27:34.000 Steroids.

01:27:34.000 There weren't a lot of steroids, as many, so you have to just still.

01:27:39.000 Yeah.

01:27:39.000 Still.

01:27:40.000 Yeah, you had to...

01:27:42.000 What were you going to say, Jamie?

01:27:44.000 The guy that closes for the Cubs that pitches last night, Chapman, he's throwing like 102 miles an hour fastballs.

01:27:51.000 Almost unhittable. 0.99

01:27:52.000 It's scary as shit. 0.99

01:27:53.000 That's so fast! 1.00

01:27:54.000 It breaks bats and shit. 1.00

01:27:57.000 Dude, that's so fast. 1.00

01:27:58.000 That hits your kneecap.

01:28:00.000 That's so fast.

01:28:01.000 That hits your kneecap at that one. 0.96

01:28:03.000 It just shatters it.

01:28:04.000 It just shatters it.

01:28:05.000 What a crazy ability.

01:28:07.000 You know, I mean, you have an ability to take a baseball bat, or a baseball rather, and just basically pelt something in the head.

01:28:14.000 You could throw it.

01:28:16.000 Like, that guy could throw a baseball at a dog and KO it.

01:28:20.000 Like, if he wanted to.

01:28:22.000 That kind of accuracy and speed You know, they think that might have been one of the reasons why human beings evolved, that our brains evolved.

01:28:31.000 That was one of the considerations.

01:28:33.000 They're trying to figure out what causes the brain to double.

01:28:36.000 Our brain doubled over a period of two million years.

01:28:39.000 Apparently it's just a giant mystery and they don't know why.

01:28:41.000 There's a bunch of thoughts as to why they did it.

01:28:43.000 People started eating more meat.

01:28:45.000 They started cooking their meat.

01:28:46.000 They get them more accents to nutrients. 0.85

01:28:49.000 But another weird one is they think it might have had something to do with the throwing arm.

01:28:53.000 Then when people figured out that they could pick stuff up and throw it at something, that they started getting clever.

01:28:59.000 And that's when they started, like, devising new solutions to problems.

01:29:03.000 And it gave them more access to food, because they could kill animals better. 0.99

01:29:06.000 So they were throwing rocks at, like, squirrels and shit and eating them. 0.98

01:29:09.000 So what you mean to tell me, it's on its own. 0.99

01:29:11.000 Our brain has doubled in size.

01:29:14.000 Over a period of two million years, the human brain doubled.

01:29:18.000 There's more information.

01:29:19.000 No, no, no.

01:29:20.000 It was a long time ago.

01:29:21.000 A long time ago.

01:29:22.000 Yeah, but there's more information.

01:29:23.000 Yeah, there was no books back then.

01:29:25.000 During the time the human brain doubled, we were basically going from these more primitive hominids to becoming a human being. 1.00

01:29:34.000 And then there was this sort of period where things move along at a fairly slow pace.

01:29:40.000 But then all of a sudden something explodes over what seems like a long time, but two million years is not that long in evolutionary terms.

01:29:47.000 So something happened when we were some sort of monkey creature.

01:29:51.000 And during that time there was a change where we mutated and our brain doubled in size and we became way more sophisticated. 0.98

01:30:00.000 You know, the fun shit is to think that that was aliens. 0.99

01:30:03.000 The fun shit is to think that aliens came down and, you know, put its sperm in a monkey or did some tests with, you know, took one of the early primates and added alien DNA to it and dropped it back off and that's why the brain got so big so quick. 1.00

01:30:18.000 But we figured some shit out, man. 1.00

01:30:20.000 And the people that didn't figure it out, they didn't live. 0.99

01:30:23.000 You know, we probably figured out...

01:30:25.000 High spaces.

01:30:26.000 Keep you away from cats.

01:30:27.000 You gotta climb up high.

01:30:29.000 You gotta figure out how to invent weapons.

01:30:31.000 We're soft.

01:30:33.000 We didn't get the fangs.

01:30:36.000 We didn't get the claws. 0.99

01:30:37.000 But we got the crazy brain.

01:30:38.000 And we went the crazy brain option.

01:30:40.000 Over two million years, somehow or another, for whatever reason, it grew.

01:30:44.000 It's pretty nuts when you think about it. 0.99

01:30:46.000 Because every other animal on this fucking planet is basically... 0.98

01:30:49.000 Like, there's some advanced animals, like chimps and dolphins and some other advanced animals that we think are real smart, like octopus. 0.99

01:30:59.000 We're not exactly sure how their little brains work. 0.99

01:31:02.000 But when it comes to doing the kind of shit that we can do to the planet... 1.00

01:31:07.000 We fly. 0.99

01:31:08.000 We change the temperature of buildings.

01:31:11.000 We project video.

01:31:13.000 We can film things in real time and then show them seconds later on this little tiny thing that slips right into your pocket.

01:31:21.000 I mean, we're on some weird, complete different level than everything that exists in terms of, if maybe not our actual overall intelligence, our ability to change our environment and change space around us.

01:31:37.000 There's nothing like us, man. 0.98

01:31:41.000 Who knows what the fuck caused that? 0.98

01:31:43.000 They don't know. 0.99

01:31:46.000 Terence McKenna thinks it's mushrooms.

01:31:49.000 That's what he thinks.

01:31:50.000 It's called the stoned ape theory.

01:31:52.000 He thinks he's ancient monkeys.

01:31:54.000 Found some mushrooms, ate them, and then...

01:32:01.000 Got in tune with the mother, Joey Diaz.

01:32:03.000 Talk to her. 1.00

01:32:04.000 Can I leave me the fuck alone? 1.00

01:32:06.000 He's dead. 1.00

01:32:06.000 Who gives a fuck? 1.00

01:32:07.000 He's dead. 1.00

01:32:08.000 Who gives a fuck? 1.00

01:32:09.000 I'm talking about 2017. You're talking about some chimp with acid. 1.00

01:32:12.000 Anyway.

01:32:13.000 We're talking about doubling the human brain. 0.96

01:32:14.000 How the fuck do we even get onto that? 0.99

01:32:16.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.99

01:32:17.000 You just came out of it. 1.00

01:32:18.000 I'm doing these sprays and shit. 1.00

01:32:19.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:32:20.000 You can't scare me like this shit. 1.00

01:32:22.000 You know I did like 18 sprays and a fucking 250 milligram brownie. 1.00

01:32:26.000 And you're gonna hit me with these stories about the human brain. 0.99

01:32:29.000 That's what we're talking about.

01:32:30.000 Because TMZ. That's what happened.

01:32:32.000 More people want to listen to TMZ and they need fucking more space. 0.99

01:32:37.000 Like when you got your computer, after a month you realize, what the fuck? 0.99

01:32:40.000 I need more space. 0.99

01:32:41.000 I got porn. 0.97

01:32:42.000 I got UFC. I got, you know, pictures of the family. 0.77

01:32:45.000 You know, we need more fucking space. 0.99

01:32:47.000 We need more space. 0.99

01:32:48.000 It's very important.

01:32:49.000 We evolved ourselves, you know.

01:32:51.000 We're getting stronger. 0.99

01:32:52.000 We're getting fucking bigger. 0.98

01:32:54.000 Look at these kids in football now. 1.00

01:32:56.000 They're fucking huge. 1.00

01:32:57.000 These are animals, these kids. 0.99

01:32:59.000 Yeah, when we're talking about the difference in baseball pitches, so the baseball players back then were throwing, what was like a super fast... 0.99

01:33:07.000 Nolan Ryan was probably the fucking... 1.00

01:33:10.000 He's been throwing heat since day one, that fucking guy. 1.00

01:33:14.000 And how fast did he throw? 0.99

01:33:16.000 I don't know, maybe 90, but you figure you take a guy that...

01:33:20.000 Pitches 85 with good control, okay?

01:33:24.000 Well, I'm talking about good control is I can hit any of the nine Elvises every time I pitch. 0.98

01:33:29.000 Right.

01:33:29.000 From how far away?

01:33:30.000 It's like 60 feet?

01:33:31.000 60 feet.

01:33:31.000 60.6 inches, okay?

01:33:34.000 So, you take one of those guys and through what we have today, you know, you put him with, what's the guy that we think really highly of?

01:33:43.000 Marinovich.

01:33:43.000 Yeah, Marv Marinovich.

01:33:44.000 Okay, you put him like I'm a Marinovich guy to strengthen those fucking, all those muscles that they haven't figured out before. 0.98

01:33:52.000 You know, that's quick. 0.95

01:33:54.000 How long do those guys last, Jamie?

01:33:58.000 A few years.

01:33:59.000 But no one, Ryan, he lasted a long-ass time. 1.00

01:34:02.000 Yeah, but he had to cut his fuckers. 1.00

01:34:03.000 They had to take their surgeries and the whole thing. 1.00

01:34:05.000 No one had a bunch of surgeries?

01:34:06.000 You know, to have that type of, you know, because it's not just your arm. 0.99

01:34:10.000 It starts when you pick that fucking leg up. 0.98

01:34:15.000 When you pick that leg up, The energy of that leg, you know, on your own time, not tonight. 0.99

01:34:20.000 Next time you smoke a joint late at night and you got insomnia, just look at and put up the 10 best pitches and look what that front leg does.

01:34:27.000 And how that front leg also controls their timing.

01:34:30.000 There's a picture now that pitches for Chicago that you're sitting there and you're waiting for the ball. 1.00

01:34:35.000 The fuck's he doing? 1.00

01:34:37.000 What the fuck's he throwing already, you fuck! 1.00

01:34:39.000 Because it's a fucking angle. 1.00

01:34:41.000 It's the leg. 1.00

01:34:43.000 He pops it out.

01:34:44.000 He drops the elbow.

01:34:47.000 It's that whole body technology.

01:34:49.000 There's a whip in there.

01:34:50.000 So there's a guy. 1.00

01:34:51.000 There's a fucking dude with glasses in Iowa right now. 0.99

01:34:55.000 I got the training for this guy. 1.00

01:34:58.000 Right or wrong?

01:34:59.000 Yeah. 0.80

01:35:00.000 The major league right now doesn't give a fuck about strengthening your arm and all that.

01:35:03.000 How can we take my guy from 98 to 104? 0.92

01:35:09.000 And have him be able to throw at 104, 20 pitches the most. 1.00

01:35:14.000 And I'll just put him in every three games to just kill motherfuckers. 1.00

01:35:18.000 Do you understand me? 1.00

01:35:19.000 In the seventh inning, when you get momentum, in comes this guy that throws 104. And he's going to throw, it's nine pitches, he's going to throw 12 pitches, and you're out of there.

01:35:32.000 You're either going to, because, remember, the faster the ball comes in, the faster the ball goes out.

01:35:37.000 Always remember that, too.

01:35:38.000 Oh, right. 1.00

01:35:39.000 If you live by the fucking sword, you die by that motherfucking sword. 1.00

01:35:42.000 When somebody hits a deep home run, it's because he popped a 98 motherfucker that made a mistake and put it an inch too low for his gorilla. 1.00

01:35:52.000 Woo! 0.99

01:35:52.000 Because that's all it determines. 0.99

01:35:54.000 It's like a game of inches.

01:35:56.000 He just dropped it. 1.00

01:35:57.000 It just dropped a little bit too much for one of these fucking... 0.99

01:36:01.000 Now on the other side, you got a Marinovich that comes in and takes that guy that bats 290, keeps him healthy, gives him conditioning stuff, got to soothe the shoulder. 0.98

01:36:13.000 What's the recovery?

01:36:15.000 Because the recovery in that game is the whole game, Joe.

01:36:18.000 Right. 0.99

01:36:18.000 The recovery is the whole thing in this fucking... 0.99

01:36:21.000 And all those guys, two, three years later... 0.99

01:36:24.000 That's too much on all those tendons. 0.82

01:36:26.000 You mean the surgery?

01:36:27.000 Well, the shoulder's a lot of muscles combined.

01:36:29.000 Yeah.

01:36:30.000 And to throw that particular...

01:36:32.000 Look how many muscles I have involved.

01:36:34.000 Especially if he comes...

01:36:34.000 Look at this, Joe, bro.

01:36:35.000 Yeah.

01:36:36.000 Try this on your own.

01:36:37.000 And I have no flexibility. 0.83

01:36:38.000 It's got to go at least all the way the fuck back. 0.79

01:36:43.000 And as that leg drops, look what that arm has to come. 0.96

01:36:46.000 In perfect, perfect...

01:36:49.000 Over the top and then down across.

01:36:51.000 And now the follow-through is the most important.

01:36:54.000 Yeah, it's got to come all...

01:36:55.000 And that's the thing.

01:36:57.000 If you throw a ball like a girl, and I don't mean like a girl knows how to throw a ball, but you know what I'm talking about? 1.00

01:37:02.000 If you throw a ball like spastic, uncoordinated... 1.00

01:37:04.000 Like Steven Seagal.

01:37:06.000 Yeah.

01:37:06.000 People will never respect you.

01:37:09.000 That's a real issue. 0.99

01:37:10.000 Like, you could suck at a lot of stuff. 1.00

01:37:12.000 You could suck at basketball. 1.00

01:37:14.000 How about this? 1.00

01:37:14.000 You could suck at, like, throwing a free throw and people laugh. 1.00

01:37:18.000 Ah, ha, ha, ha! 1.00

01:37:20.000 But if you throw the first pitch and you throw that, like, some uncoordinated spaz, if you just fucking first pitch, dork it off the ground, like, you're a loser. 1.00

01:37:32.000 Like, there's a harshness. 1.00

01:37:34.000 It's like some schoolyard shit. 0.99

01:37:37.000 You just said free throw. 1.00

01:37:38.000 You reminded me of something I saw.

01:37:39.000 I haven't heard anybody bring this up yet.

01:37:41.000 Someone made Stevie Wonder shoot a free throw, and they have it on video.

01:37:44.000 Did he nail it?

01:37:45.000 No, he missed it.

01:37:46.000 Well, obviously terribly.

01:37:48.000 I don't like this movie anymore.

01:37:50.000 No one had to let him know he missed it.

01:37:51.000 They could have all just played along and just acted like he made it.

01:37:53.000 Someone should have caught it, and the other guy should have dropped the ball right through the net.

01:38:01.000 They give it another shot?

01:38:02.000 It just shows it over and over again.

01:38:04.000 Oh.

01:38:05.000 Why don't they just let him figure it out where it is if he keeps throwing it?

01:38:08.000 How long do you think it would take before he figured out where it is?

01:38:11.000 I don't know how he would even know how to shoot a ball. 0.99

01:38:13.000 That's a fucking insult. 0.99

01:38:14.000 It's terrible that they even did this, I think. 0.99

01:38:16.000 If there was no one in the room and you could let him use like echolocation, when he yelled out, hello, with his beautiful voice, hello, maybe you could figure out.

01:38:26.000 You know, because deaf guys apparently, or blind guys rather, apparently can do that to a certain extent.

01:38:31.000 Like they hear sound bounce off things, they know how far away things are.

01:38:35.000 But how would he know where the net is?

01:38:38.000 If you put my waist right in front of it, if you go, the thing is 15 feet exactly from us right now, Stevie.

01:38:45.000 I'll be under the net.

01:38:46.000 You just keep going until you hit it. 0.99

01:38:48.000 If you fucking hit it, it's success. 0.99

01:38:50.000 What's the concept of 15 feet to a guy who's blind? 0.99

01:38:54.000 Plus 10 feet in the air.

01:38:56.000 Right.

01:38:57.000 10 feet in the air?

01:38:58.000 Yeah.

01:39:00.000 How's he going to figure that out?

01:39:01.000 He's never thrown anything before either.

01:39:04.000 But that's not embarrassing.

01:39:05.000 No, no.

01:39:06.000 I mean, especially at Stevie Wonder.

01:39:07.000 He's blind.

01:39:08.000 But even if it was a regular guy that sucked at basketball and threw a free throw, it would be funny. 1.00

01:39:13.000 It would be stupid but funny. 0.99

01:39:14.000 But if you fucking miss that first pitch, if they ask you, Hey, Joey, I hear you're going to be in town. 0.99

01:39:20.000 You want to throw out the first pitch for the game? 0.98

01:39:23.000 They're like, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:39:24.000 I used to play a lot of baseball when I was a kid. 0.98

01:39:26.000 I'll fucking do that. 1.00

01:39:28.000 You go out there all full of piss and vinegar. 1.00

01:39:32.000 I wouldn't make 60 feet right now.

01:39:34.000 There's no way.

01:39:36.000 Oh, yeah.

01:39:36.000 Gary Delabate from the Stern Show.

01:39:38.000 Here he goes.

01:39:39.000 Yeah, there's no way I wouldn't make 60 feet right now.

01:39:41.000 Here he goes.

01:39:42.000 Let's see what he does.

01:39:42.000 Oh, they're all talking about it like it's an event.

01:39:46.000 Maybe one of the worst ones ever.

01:39:48.000 Here it is.

01:39:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:39:50.000 He throws it.

01:39:51.000 They don't show you the actual...

01:39:53.000 Here it goes.

01:39:54.000 Throw it. 0.99

01:39:55.000 Oh, my God.

01:39:56.000 It didn't go anywhere near him.

01:40:01.000 Yeah, he completely missed.

01:40:04.000 They're making it worse than it is, though, because it went all the way to the catcher, right?

01:40:08.000 It's like 10 feet to the right.

01:40:11.000 Yeah.

01:40:12.000 You should have practiced a little bit.

01:40:14.000 Yeah, you should have practiced a little bit.

01:40:15.000 You think so?

01:40:16.000 Yeah, you get made fun of, for sure.

01:40:17.000 They've been making fun of him.

01:40:18.000 That's why there's a whole piece about this.

01:40:20.000 But do you think, you said this is what happens when you get made fun of?

01:40:23.000 This is what happens when you throw like that, and it happens on tape.

01:40:26.000 Oh, right.

01:40:26.000 Oh, for sure.

01:40:27.000 You get made fun of.

01:40:28.000 Yeah.

01:40:29.000 I thought you were saying that he missed because he gets made fun of.

01:40:34.000 Like they've destroyed his confidence to the point where he can't throw a baseball.

01:40:37.000 I get it.

01:40:39.000 It's a good point, though.

01:40:41.000 There's something about throwing...

01:40:42.000 Oh, see, they have the worst first pitches ever. 0.99

01:40:44.000 Yeah, I'd be in that.

01:40:45.000 I'd be in that for sure. 0.99

01:40:47.000 I can't fucking throw a ball. 0.98

01:40:48.000 I tried throwing a football a couple months ago. 0.99

01:40:51.000 Horrific, horrific, horrific.

01:40:53.000 It's gone.

01:40:54.000 Oh, this guy's totally messed up.

01:40:54.000 Whatever I had in my shoulders is gone.

01:40:56.000 I'm living on fucking smoke in my shoulders. 0.99

01:41:00.000 There's nothing in there. 0.99

01:41:02.000 I don't know how they're not hurting me.

01:41:03.000 There's nothing in there.

01:41:04.000 Really?

01:41:05.000 I don't think so.

01:41:06.000 Did you get an MRI? No.

01:41:10.000 I'm gonna waste their fucking time. 1.00

01:41:12.000 What can you not do with it? 1.00

01:41:13.000 Can you put your arms over your head?

01:41:15.000 Flexibility, you know, my flexibility is halfway there. 0.99

01:41:18.000 I can't do flies anymore, that type of shit. 0.87

01:41:21.000 You know, the thing that helps me a lot now is the way the bats are great, you know? 0.98

01:41:27.000 Weren't you taking that guy's kettlebell classes at the jiu-jitsu school you go to?

01:41:32.000 Joe...

01:41:33.000 Joe Alvarado.

01:41:34.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:41:35.000 I've been to a couple.

01:41:36.000 Is it Kettle Jitsu?

01:41:37.000 Kettle Jitsu.

01:41:37.000 Badass, man.

01:41:38.000 Yeah, I've seen his Instagram videos.

01:41:40.000 He's a great dude, man.

01:41:41.000 I went in there the other day, and I went in there a little early.

01:41:44.000 They have class at 12. I wasn't doing anything.

01:41:46.000 I went in there at 11. There's usually some guys.

01:41:48.000 And I was messing around with some guy, and Professor Alvarado goes, let me teach you something, Joey.

01:41:53.000 That's perfect for you.

01:41:54.000 And he stayed with me for 30 minutes, and we just worked this half guard.

01:41:59.000 Sweet.

01:41:59.000 That was just tremendous, Joe Rogan.

01:42:01.000 It's a simple shit for a fat dude. 1.00

01:42:03.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:42:04.000 They teach that old man jiu-jitsu, which is less movement and get the job done effectively.

01:42:10.000 He's a great dude.

01:42:12.000 But we worked it off of...

01:42:14.000 At first, he goes, Joe, you're going to have a problem with this.

01:42:16.000 Let's get a kettlebell and work it off a Turkish kettlebell. 1.00

01:42:20.000 It'll be a lot easier for you to develop the movement.

01:42:22.000 It was basically, boom, get the underhook, grab the arm, and just flip over.

01:42:27.000 That was it.

01:42:28.000 But he turns it very...

01:42:30.000 He's a good man.

01:42:31.000 So when you do Turkish get-ups, it doesn't bother your shoulder?

01:42:34.000 I could do a Turkish get-up to point like four.

01:42:37.000 I can't lie to you.

01:42:38.000 I can't do the whole thing.

01:42:39.000 You can't get to the fifth part?

01:42:42.000 Here, to the top.

01:42:43.000 Okay.

01:42:45.000 Okay, so you don't ever stand up all the way?

01:42:48.000 No, no, no.

01:42:48.000 Okay, so you just hip up and you have the bell up?

01:42:50.000 Yeah, I do it more for my hips. 0.94

01:42:52.000 I do it more for my hips, to be honest with you.

01:42:54.000 The shoulder, like I said, the little weighted bat is tremendous.

01:42:58.000 But let me ask you this.

01:42:59.000 Is it the reason why you don't get up, is it because of the weight or your shoulders?

01:43:03.000 It's my weight and the shoulders.

01:43:04.000 It's the weight on the shoulders combined.

01:43:06.000 Well, you know what you can do?

01:43:07.000 No, no, no.

01:43:08.000 I can...

01:43:09.000 Do the leg thing and go from there.

01:43:11.000 No, no, I'm good there.

01:43:12.000 That's one thing I'm good at.

01:43:13.000 What I'm saying is, especially with the Turkish getup, people underestimate the benefit of doing it with even no weight. 1.00

01:43:21.000 You're just doing it as a posture.

01:43:23.000 Just lying on your back, straightening your arm up, and just going through all the motions.

01:43:27.000 Propping up on your elbow, going up on the hip, hoisting your hip up, lifting that one leg, getting it underneath you, standing up straight, and then Fully standing straight with your arm extended.

01:43:37.000 If you just go through that series of motions without even carrying a kettlebell.

01:43:41.000 That's in Professor Alvarado's warm-up.

01:43:43.000 He does that with no kettlebell?

01:43:45.000 No, that's what kills you.

01:43:47.000 Just that as a warm-up?

01:43:48.000 Yeah.

01:43:50.000 People don't realize if you don't move your body around a lot like that, it's hard to move your body around.

01:43:55.000 You know what I started doing recently that I haven't done in forever?

01:43:57.000 Jump and rope.

01:43:59.000 What do you think? 0.99

01:44:00.000 I fucking love it. 0.96

01:44:02.000 Where have you gone from, too? 0.97

01:44:03.000 Yeah.

01:44:04.000 It's hard.

01:44:04.000 Five minutes is 20 minutes of jogging.

01:44:07.000 Dude, it's hard to do three minutes, like a round.

01:44:10.000 Like, you know, I set the boxing timer and I do three minutes. 0.99

01:44:14.000 It's fucking hard. 0.98

01:44:15.000 It's hard. 1.00

01:44:16.000 You're like, this ain't shit. 0.97

01:44:18.000 You feel pretty good. 0.99

01:44:19.000 And then about 30 seconds in, you're like, oh, I gotta fucking concentrate here. 0.94

01:44:23.000 I gotta... 0.92

01:44:26.000 Listen, I'm feeling it.

01:44:27.000 And my feet started to hurt.

01:44:28.000 And I'm like, oh, this is one of those things.

01:44:30.000 If you don't do it, you think it's easy.

01:44:32.000 And then once you do it, you realize, oh, you've got to get in shape for this too, like everything else.

01:44:35.000 Your body's not used to jumping around like that.

01:44:39.000 But if you can do it, I would imagine it would be tremendous for your footwork and for your agility and your foot strength and all the strength in all those connecting ligaments.

01:44:50.000 Because essentially what you're doing is little tiny plyometrics.

01:44:54.000 You know, you're jumping.

01:44:55.000 You're not getting full extended explosion movements, but you're getting these little jumping bounces where, you know, with me, I'm 196 or something like that, 196 pounds, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing on my feet.

01:45:08.000 That's great for you, you know?

01:45:10.000 It develops real strength in your feet.

01:45:14.000 I got sore in weird places for like three weeks when I first started doing it.

01:45:18.000 Like behind your ankle?

01:45:18.000 Yeah, my ankle, my calves got super tight.

01:45:21.000 Like it was really fucking up my kickboxing because I would try to kick and I'd be worried that like my calf was gonna lock up.

01:45:28.000 Like it was like real sore.

01:45:30.000 Like in a way that I thought I was hitting with like those Hindu squats that I like to do. 1.00

01:45:36.000 I thought I was hitting my calves enough, but I guess not.

01:45:39.000 There's no substitution for that little bouncing.

01:45:42.000 You know where I got it from, man?

01:45:44.000 Lance Armstrong's podcast.

01:45:46.000 I was listening to Lance Armstrong's podcast, and he was talking about his son being friends with...

01:45:51.000 He's friends with Brett Favre.

01:45:53.000 And Brett Favre came to his house.

01:45:55.000 And his son plays football.

01:45:56.000 So he asked his son, he goes, hey, do you skip rope?

01:45:59.000 Like, that's the first thing he asked him.

01:46:01.000 And he had talked to some other guy, who was also some big time football player, or big time football coach rather, and he's like, do you skip rope?

01:46:08.000 And the kids, and he said, no.

01:46:10.000 He's like, you gotta skip rope.

01:46:11.000 And the same thing Brett Favre said, you gotta skip rope.

01:46:13.000 Like, there's something around jumping rope, that for like footwork and movement, and so I said, alright, I'm gonna start doing that.

01:46:20.000 And right away I realized, like, goddammit, how come I haven't been doing this forever? 0.99

01:46:24.000 I should have been doing this forever, it's just stupid. 1.00

01:46:26.000 You got the leather rope and everything? 0.99

01:46:27.000 I got one of those Everlast ones.

01:46:29.000 My daughter got one of those ropey ones and she left it out there one day and I go, let me try this.

01:46:34.000 Old school.

01:46:35.000 I did like 32 seconds.

01:46:36.000 I thought I was gonna die.

01:46:37.000 Did you rip your feet apart?

01:46:39.000 No.

01:46:39.000 That's one thing.

01:46:40.000 I got caveman feet, dog.

01:46:42.000 I got those Cuban desert African feet. 1.00

01:46:45.000 They don't fuck around, Jack. 0.99

01:46:47.000 Listen, man, when I was coming up, when I was a kid, everybody you talked to told you how to jump rope. 1.00

01:46:51.000 I used to jump rope at night with no weights.

01:46:54.000 Basketball workout was 20, 30 minutes of jumping rope, and then I would sit on the wall.

01:46:59.000 Just sit to condition my thighs.

01:47:01.000 Right.

01:47:02.000 20, 30 minutes.

01:47:03.000 That was it.

01:47:03.000 Yeah, that wall sit thing, that was always big in karate schools.

01:47:07.000 Yeah, I was a big wall sitter, spine to the wall, head to the wall, looking straight ahead.

01:47:12.000 If you could do it, you know.

01:47:13.000 Then they did horses.

01:47:15.000 Then you did horses in class. 1.00

01:47:17.000 You always had that motherfuckers that would sit there and go, 20 minutes, what? 1.00

01:47:24.000 I think it's probably better to run stairs. 1.00

01:47:27.000 I'm on the run stairs.

01:47:28.000 Are you really?

01:47:29.000 Yeah.

01:47:29.000 You've been running them too?

01:47:30.000 No, I have hills near my house.

01:47:33.000 You know those hills near my house.

01:47:34.000 I do some sprints up those on occasion.

01:47:38.000 Fairly rare.

01:47:40.000 The thing that I like about that, though, is that it's like you're exploding your body forward. 0.93

01:47:46.000 I think like that static hold of like a, there's benefits to that for sure, but I just don't think you can fuck with plyometrics.

01:47:52.000 You know, essentially, if you're running a hill, you're essentially doing like one-legged plyometrics.

01:47:56.000 You're just exploding, exploding, exploding, exploding.

01:47:59.000 Well, for the workout that you do and the diet you do, they say that you have to recommend running once a week sprints.

01:48:05.000 That primal diet, they say absolutely.

01:48:08.000 Like 10, 40 yard sprints.

01:48:10.000 It's good for you.

01:48:11.000 I'm a 40 yard believer.

01:48:12.000 I just, I don't need a heart attack at this point in my life.

01:48:15.000 You know, for a while I was going crazy when I couldn't find out and figure out the cardio while I wasn't breathing. 0.94

01:48:19.000 I would go to that fucking North Hollywood Park Walk around with a farmer's kettlebell, and then I would, like, do ten sets of swings, and then I would go, let me try some fucking sprints. 0.98

01:48:28.000 And I would do it, not realizing, like, what the fuck am I doing? 0.99

01:48:32.000 I could pull something here that could end everything. 1.00

01:48:35.000 This isn't just a fucking, you know, like, you know, you're not warmed up properly for that shit. 1.00

01:48:40.000 Right. 0.99

01:48:41.000 I remember going to track as a kid, because they tried to tell me during the offseason, basketball players would high jump to stay in shape.

01:48:48.000 And we had this guy, Ira Wolf. 0.97

01:48:50.000 And Ira Wolf was one of the assistants at the fucking Olympics. 0.99

01:48:53.000 Great guy. 0.99

01:48:54.000 And, you know, he was into bent squats. 0.99

01:48:57.000 That was his big fucking thing. 0.99

01:48:58.000 Bent squats, yeah. 1.00

01:48:59.000 To get the fucking... 0.99

01:49:00.000 Yeah, you go down on the squat and you pop back up. 1.00

01:49:02.000 Yeah, and he was into... 0.99

01:49:03.000 But his jumping rope and those fucking sprints. 0.99

01:49:06.000 And we used to run hills in North Bergen because it's the second hilliest fucking... 1.00

01:49:10.000 You know, that's a nightmare type shit. 1.00

01:49:13.000 I'm good, though. 1.00

01:49:14.000 Running hills is hard, but you know what's the hardest shit? 0.99

01:49:17.000 Running sand dunes. 1.00

01:49:19.000 Oh.

01:49:19.000 Running sand dunes is dark death.

01:49:22.000 Your legs have nothing.

01:49:24.000 They're going through that sand and you're barely making progress.

01:49:28.000 Listen, my fight with Shane Carwin got cancelled, okay? 0.98

01:49:31.000 I don't need to run no fucking dunes, alright? 0.86

01:49:33.000 Where's Shane Carwin going? 0.98

01:49:34.000 Shane Carwin's going to Ryzen.

01:49:36.000 Okay.

01:49:37.000 Yeah.

01:49:39.000 He couldn't take it no more on the sidelines. 1.00

01:49:41.000 He's like, fuck it. 1.00

01:49:42.000 I guess he wants to have some fun while he's still Shane Carwin. 1.00

01:49:45.000 I salute that. 1.00

01:49:47.000 He could still hit harder than a motherfucker. 1.00

01:49:49.000 Fuck yeah, he did. 1.00

01:49:49.000 Did you see that Jason Ellis fight? 1.00

01:49:51.000 Did you see what crazy Jason Ellis did?

01:49:53.000 Jason Ellis fought Shane Carwin with one hand tied up.

01:49:57.000 Shane Carwin had his right hand tied up to his body.

01:50:00.000 And so Jason Ellis, you don't realize how big Shane Carwin is.

01:50:02.000 Jason Ellis is not the tiniest guy.

01:50:04.000 He's probably about 200 pounds.

01:50:06.000 But when he's standing next to Shane Carwin, it is almost comical.

01:50:10.000 Look at this.

01:50:11.000 Look how big Carwin is.

01:50:13.000 I mean, he's a giant. 1.00

01:50:16.000 He's a fucking giant. 1.00

01:50:17.000 He's got one arm tied up. 1.00

01:50:19.000 Look at this.

01:50:20.000 And he looks good, dude.

01:50:22.000 Like, physically, he looks jacked.

01:50:24.000 Like, he hasn't fought in a while, but obviously he's been working out.

01:50:27.000 I mean, he looks better than he did the last time I saw him.

01:50:30.000 The last time I saw him, he was recovering from some injuries, and he was still in the UFC. So apparently he's a free agent.

01:50:39.000 And I think, you know, he's fighting for Ryzen, I'm pretty sure.

01:50:44.000 I mean, I know he put it on his Instagram page, but he KO'd him, man.

01:50:49.000 It's really kind of wrong.

01:50:54.000 That was one punch that he hit him with.

01:50:58.000 That wasn't even the punch that KO'd him, is it?

01:51:04.000 No, that was like the end of a round, I think.

01:51:09.000 See, this is where it KO'd him.

01:51:10.000 Right here.

01:51:13.000 So that was the second one.

01:51:15.000 I mean, that one really KO'd him. 1.00

01:51:17.000 Like, you could see when he was down, he was like, fuck. 1.00

01:51:20.000 I mean, that guy is so goddamn big. 1.00

01:51:24.000 Carwin's a gigantic human. 0.97

01:51:25.000 So they were talking about setting him up with Fedor.

01:51:28.000 Like, Fedor versus Carwin.

01:51:30.000 I don't know if that's gonna happen, but if that does, I'm in.

01:51:33.000 I'm in.

01:51:35.000 I'm paying to see that.

01:51:36.000 That's a dangerous fight for Fedor.

01:51:39.000 Super dangerous fight.

01:51:41.000 Japan.

01:51:41.000 It's essentially the same guy who is in charge of pride for a while.

01:51:47.000 Yeah, and I believe so.

01:51:50.000 And so if he goes over and fights, if Karwin goes over and fights in Japan and he fights Fedor, that's a giant fight.

01:51:58.000 When was the last time Fredo fought?

01:52:00.000 He fought Fabio Maldonado and barely squawked by a fight that a lot of people thought that he should have lost.

01:52:06.000 He got hurt.

01:52:06.000 Fabio Maldonado tagged him.

01:52:08.000 And there's no shame in that.

01:52:11.000 Fabio Maldonado is a very good boxer.

01:52:13.000 He rocked Glover Teixeira before Glover finished him off. 0.99

01:52:17.000 And he's just tough as shit. 0.99

01:52:19.000 He's a tough, tough guy. 1.00

01:52:20.000 They always call that poor guy in.

01:52:23.000 Fabio is like that.

01:52:25.000 Who are we going to get?

01:52:25.000 Who will fight him?

01:52:26.000 Who will be this fucking wacky to fight on short notice? 0.99

01:52:30.000 Fabio Maldonado. 0.98

01:52:31.000 Do you remember how he saved that fight in...

01:52:33.000 Australia?

01:52:34.000 Somewhere.

01:52:34.000 No, no, in Brazil.

01:52:36.000 Somewhere.

01:52:36.000 He fought Stipe at heavyweight.

01:52:38.000 Stipe Miocic, when Stipe's just fucking tearing through the ranks, right?

01:52:42.000 Stipe's trying to get a shot at the title. 0.87

01:52:44.000 He fights Fabio Maldonado.

01:52:46.000 I mean, Stipe just ran through him.

01:52:49.000 It was horrific.

01:52:50.000 Stipe's a scary guy as a heavyweight.

01:52:52.000 And Fabio Maldonado just was not the same size.

01:52:56.000 Just did not belong in there with him, you know?

01:52:59.000 Just too big, too strong, too fast, hits too hard.

01:53:03.000 It was a scary fight.

01:53:04.000 But when you think about Fabio rocking Fedor and hurting him in his last fight, and you think, good lord, what if he gets hit by Carwin?

01:53:15.000 Carwin takes a great shot, and he hits harder than anybody in the division.

01:53:19.000 He's probably one of the scariest heavyweight punchers ever.

01:53:26.000 Like, literally ever. 0.98

01:53:28.000 When he fought Mir, I remember he tied Mir up in a clinch and just ripped uppercuts to his chin and his face and put him down and just beat him down when he was on the ground like, Carwin could fucking punch! 0.99

01:53:41.000 Scary puncher, man. 0.98

01:53:42.000 So if he's healthy, like he looks like in that video, he looks fucking healthy to me. 0.98

01:53:46.000 And he looks huge. 0.92

01:53:48.000 He looks like he's well over 260. Yeah.

01:53:51.000 I don't know if Federer...

01:53:53.000 I don't know if that's the kind of fight he wants at this stage of his life.

01:53:56.000 You know, after he fought Maldonado, he might be looking to fight smaller heavyweights.

01:54:00.000 He might be looking to fight bigger names.

01:54:02.000 Well, actually, he's... 0.79

01:54:03.000 Carmen's a pretty goddamn big name as far as the free market. 0.71

01:54:07.000 But who knows what's going to happen, man? 0.91

01:54:09.000 You know...

01:54:11.000 One of the crazy things with all these new organizations, whether it's 1FC, whether it's, you know, fill in the blank, Bellator, Ryzen, all these other...

01:54:21.000 Like, everyone is scrambling to pick up anybody who leaves the UFC. People's contracts are up like they're starting to do and they start bolting over and going to these other different organizations Stuff can be crazy like things can heat up and you might see like another pride UFC type rivalry Which I think would be great for everybody like if Ryzen really does take off like if Ryzen puts on Fedor versus Shane Carwin and then they come up with a bunch of other crazy fights for the undercard,

01:54:49.000 you know There's just not, right now, the same level of talent available outside the UFC. Not right now.

01:54:59.000 But man, it's been close a few times, and it used to be.

01:55:03.000 Obviously, it used to be with pride.

01:55:06.000 It's hard making something like that happen.

01:55:10.000 You know, I feel with Shane Carlin, for example.

01:55:12.000 Shane Carlin was a great fighter.

01:55:14.000 He hasn't thrown a punch in how many years?

01:55:18.000 He hasn't fought MMA since...

01:55:21.000 I want to say it's two years ago.

01:55:24.000 Two, three years, okay?

01:55:25.000 At least.

01:55:26.000 In my world, I don't know.

01:55:27.000 I don't know.

01:55:28.000 I'm not the professional here, but I think the UFC marketing would know if they could do something with a Shane Carlin.

01:55:34.000 If they passed on him, maybe there's something they can do.

01:55:37.000 The heavyweight division is packed.

01:55:39.000 I don't know.

01:55:40.000 I don't know the parameters of this.

01:55:41.000 Yeah.

01:55:42.000 You know, I feel like when a fighter hasn't fought more than a year or two or maybe even three...

01:55:48.000 I think about comedy, Joe Rogan.

01:55:50.000 And I think about if I just didn't do any comedy for three years, what would I be ready for? 0.92

01:55:56.000 What would you, if you didn't do any comedy for three years, what would you honestly book yourself for in fucking December? 0.92

01:56:02.000 It's October 31st. 0.95

01:56:04.000 What would you book yourself for in December?

01:56:06.000 The garden?

01:56:08.000 You know, you do like the laughing skull in Atlanta.

01:56:11.000 Okay, uh...

01:56:13.000 A nice, cool, intimate little room.

01:56:15.000 Very quiet, 99-seater.

01:56:17.000 But Shane might not have a lot of money, and the Ryzen might have offered him a big check.

01:56:22.000 No, I understand all these parameters.

01:56:24.000 What I'm saying to you is, you know, it's like the GSP thing that was going on.

01:56:29.000 Maybe they weren't what they were. 0.99

01:56:31.000 And I think even as a fighter, two, three years, shit has fucking changed. 1.00

01:56:36.000 Yes, yes and no. 1.00

01:56:37.000 Fucking changed! 0.99

01:56:38.000 Yes and no. 0.99

01:56:39.000 Here's the no.

01:56:40.000 Depends on if you're still training.

01:56:41.000 See, if you decide to take some time off because you have nagging injuries, or some fighters like that Joseph Valtellini guy we were talking about earlier, he stepped back because of concussion syndrome, because he had too many hits to the head.

01:56:53.000 And so he recognized it, was having some real symptoms, and he said, no, I have to resign.

01:56:57.000 So he gave up his belt.

01:57:01.000 Taking two or three years off, if you're having any sort of real problem, maybe if you've got a reoccurring back injury, which I know Shane had some back issues.

01:57:08.000 He even had surgery.

01:57:09.000 Yes.

01:57:10.000 So maybe taking that time off.

01:57:12.000 So it was Junior Dos Santos was his last loss, and that was UFC 131 in, wow, 2011. So that's five fucking years ago. 0.96

01:57:20.000 Almost, you know, five and a half years ago. 0.99

01:57:22.000 Guys, the heavyweight division has come and gone in five years.

01:57:26.000 That's a long time.

01:57:26.000 GSP wants to come back now to 170. The 170 has come and gone.

01:57:32.000 Tyrone Woodley is the champion, and Wonderboy is number one.

01:57:36.000 These kids weren't even around when GSP fucking dropped off how Tyrone Woodley was, but not Stephen Thomas. 0.95

01:57:43.000 I mean, it's a whole breath of fucking fresh air they're coming into. 0.98

01:57:45.000 It is. 0.94

01:57:46.000 I think what Michael Bisping was doing was pretty smart, trying to get GSP to fight him in Toronto.

01:57:51.000 I was like, let's do it, man. 0.99

01:57:53.000 Fuck yeah, that's a great one. 0.98

01:57:54.000 I don't know if George wants a fight at 185. I think George has even said that he can make 155. You know, the difference between the size of guys today versus the way they were then, you know, guys are way more sophisticated about weight cutting. 0.99

01:58:09.000 And I don't think George lifts as much weights anymore.

01:58:11.000 I don't think he's as big as he used to be. 0.99

01:58:14.000 Who the fuck knows, man? 0.97

01:58:16.000 If the guy wants to compete, the game moves very fast. 0.99

01:58:21.000 MMA has moved so much in two or three years that...

01:58:26.000 A lot of these people that are watching UFC today don't even really know who Shane Carwin is.

01:58:31.000 We've got a whole new batch of audience that's coming.

01:58:34.000 That is true.

01:58:34.000 And the same has even worked for GSP. I'm a fan of GSP. I'd love to see him fight again.

01:58:39.000 But I had to ask myself questions as the UFC. I want to learn.

01:58:43.000 It's like watching fucking Shark Tank. 0.99

01:58:45.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:58:45.000 You want to learn. 1.00

01:58:46.000 Well, I think the UFC's argument, as far as what I had heard, and this is all the shit I read online. 0.96

01:58:51.000 I don't talk to the UFC about business. 0.97

01:58:53.000 No, no, no. 1.00

01:58:54.000 We read different dumb shit. 0.99

01:58:56.000 But what I had read online was that they were not at agreement with how much money it was going to cost to promote a fight with them. 0.98

01:59:04.000 And that the people that watch the fight today that are fans of Ronda Rousey and the fans of Conor McGregor and all these current UFC fighters, that maybe these fans that have only been fans for a couple years, they kind of forgot This is what I was thinking just on my own.

01:59:17.000 I'm like, in three and four years, Rhonda...

01:59:19.000 Right, but you don't think that it would take one, one fucking promotional special, one thing they do on Fox where people remember, just watch some of the fucking epic fights with John Fitch, with BJ Penn, you know, watch him submit Matt Hughes when Matt Hughes is at the top of the world, 0.68

01:59:37.000 watch him beat down Matt Serra after Matt Serra stopped him and won the title. 0.95

01:59:41.000 You watch some of those fights and then you hear him talk and you see what a gentleman he is.

01:59:46.000 Come on, man.

01:59:47.000 That guy's golden.

01:59:48.000 I love him to death.

01:59:49.000 He's golden. 1.00

01:59:49.000 Even the four names you mentioned, they're fucking dinosaurs. 1.00

01:59:53.000 I agree. 0.99

01:59:54.000 But you know what I think a guy like GSB has to do?

01:59:56.000 He's got to do a tune-up fight.

01:59:57.000 I really believe that.

01:59:59.000 I think that would help everybody.

02:00:01.000 I think that's what you would do in boxing.

02:00:03.000 The only one who never did that is Sugar Ray.

02:00:06.000 Sugar Ray Leonard went out of retirement right to Marvin Hagler.

02:00:12.000 Right right in there just jumped right into Marvin fucking Hagler and everybody was like you're crazy you need a tune-up fight and Apparently he had some gym fights where they set up some smokers in the gym Just sort of like we were talking about earlier that they do with the Muay Thai beat Marvin Hagler eventually beat him beat him by decision very controversial fight though Some people think that Marvin should have won.

02:00:33.000 I would say it's probably one of those fights where it was almost 50-50 Amongst my friends it was, at least. 0.84

02:00:39.000 Amongst a lot of people I knew, a lot of people thought that Marvin did more damage, it landed the harder shots, and what Sugar Ray was doing was just throwing pity-pat punches, and it wasn't good enough, and Marvin was chasing him down.

02:00:50.000 I don't know.

02:00:51.000 I'd have to watch it again as an adult who understands fighting better.

02:00:56.000 But, uh, whatever it was, he didn't get destroyed.

02:00:59.000 And that's better than you could say for a lot of people that fought Hagler. 0.99

02:01:02.000 I mean, Hagler was fucking Hagler. 0.98

02:01:04.000 That's the Hagler that crushed John the Beast Mugabe. 1.00

02:01:07.000 Remember that shit? 1.00

02:01:09.000 That's the Marvin Hagler that beat the fuck out of Tommy Hearns. 1.00

02:01:12.000 I mean, Marvin Hagler was a monster. 0.99

02:01:16.000 When I was a kid, they had this fucking TV show that they showed where Hager was training for a Mustafa Ham show. 0.99

02:01:23.000 And he was running on the beach in the Cape in the winter. 0.98

02:01:27.000 He was running on the sand in Cape Cod, screaming, war.

02:01:33.000 Just running, screaming, war!

02:01:36.000 War!

02:01:38.000 This guy who's just shredded.

02:01:42.000 Shredded. 0.96

02:01:43.000 I mean Marvin Hagler in his prime had one of like the best physiques ever for a boxer and he was in supreme condition and he was known for maybe not being like the slickest most technical boxer like maybe Sugar Ray was or Roberto Duran was but overwhelming discipline and drive and ferocity and He would just break dudes down.

02:02:07.000 You know, like he did with the Tommy Hearns fight.

02:02:09.000 It was like the purest expression of Marvin Hagler. 0.98

02:02:12.000 These guys are fighting for the fucking middleweight championship of the world. 0.97

02:02:16.000 It's a giant fight between two superstars. 0.99

02:02:18.000 And what do they do?

02:02:19.000 They just throw caution to the wind and meet in the center of the ring and start throwing bombs.

02:02:26.000 There was no boxing in that fight.

02:02:28.000 That was a war.

02:02:29.000 That was a crazy war. 1.00

02:02:31.000 Throw that shit up, Jamie. 1.00

02:02:32.000 Throw that shit up. 1.00

02:02:33.000 Marvin Hagler versus Tommy Hearns. 1.00

02:02:36.000 Talking to me. 1.00

02:02:37.000 Put that motherfucker on it. 1.00

02:02:39.000 Just a massive risk-taking endeavor to step in there. 1.00

02:02:44.000 Those two guys, as big as they were in their prime, those dudes were gigantic.

02:02:49.000 How many rounds did this go?

02:02:51.000 I think it was two rounds.

02:02:51.000 I think he knocked him out in the second.

02:02:53.000 Yeah, at the most it was the third.

02:02:55.000 I'm not saying that's it. 0.99

02:02:56.000 What the fuck is wrong with me? 0.99

02:02:57.000 Jamie? 1.00

02:02:59.000 You're throwing bombs.

02:03:01.000 What were you looking for?

02:03:02.000 I was trying to find which version of the fight I was going to pull up.

02:03:05.000 Does it say what?

02:03:08.000 I'm pretty sure he knocked him out in the second round, if I remember correctly.

02:03:11.000 But I might be wrong.

02:03:11.000 It might be the third.

02:03:14.000 But either way, it was just chaos.

02:03:16.000 Now that I'm thinking about it, I think it was the third.

02:03:21.000 Tell us that, too.

02:03:22.000 I'm trying to look for that before I pull up the video.

02:03:24.000 Do you got a video?

02:03:26.000 Just throw the video on.

02:03:27.000 We'll figure it out when he gets knocked out.

02:03:33.000 But I mean, we had talked about Tommy Hearns the other day.

02:03:36.000 Tommy Hearns knocked out Roberto Duran.

02:03:38.000 That was one of the most spectacular knockouts ever.

02:03:40.000 Look at this.

02:03:41.000 Look at that.

02:03:41.000 Tommy Hearns was awesome.

02:03:43.000 He had a big crazy afro.

02:03:45.000 He had a back that was so wide it looked like he was a flying squirrel.

02:03:49.000 Like he could jump off a building and soar to safety.

02:03:52.000 I mean, he was so unusually built.

02:03:56.000 And he was shredded too.

02:03:57.000 He was built scary in a different way.

02:04:01.000 And then Hagler.

02:04:04.000 He was the ultimate throwback.

02:04:06.000 I mean, you're talking in the 1980s, he was a throwback.

02:04:10.000 They thought of him as a throwback in the 80s.

02:04:13.000 Like, you thought of him the same way, so he was 30 then, which is kind of crazy, because this is like the tail end of the Hagler career.

02:04:22.000 I think Hagler only fought until he was like 35, and then he retired after the Sugar Ray Leonard fight.

02:04:28.000 But this was Hagler, you know, when he was Hagler.

02:04:31.000 This is Prime, 30 years old. 0.99

02:04:33.000 This is as good as it fucking gets. 1.00

02:04:35.000 5'9", 160 pounds, and just a fucking dynamo. 0.99

02:04:45.000 And you know the weirder thing, one of the weirder things about Hagler? 0.98

02:04:48.000 God, I used to love watching that dude fight.

02:04:50.000 He had natural, like, headgear.

02:04:55.000 He had really thick muscles.

02:04:56.000 Look at that beautiful right hand.

02:04:57.000 These guys are winging it at each other.

02:05:00.000 Oh my god, this is crazy!

02:05:03.000 The thing about Hagler is he also could take a tremendous punch.

02:05:07.000 Like, a tremendous punch.

02:05:08.000 He was very smart.

02:05:09.000 Even in that exchange, he was very smart right there.

02:05:11.000 Yeah.

02:05:11.000 Well, he was very composed.

02:05:12.000 But he had natural, thick muscle all above his ears.

02:05:18.000 Like, his temple area was almost protected by, like, thick muscle.

02:05:23.000 And I don't know what that's from.

02:05:24.000 Whether it's, like, from some biting exercises that he had done.

02:05:28.000 Because there was a bunch of guys who did have some devices to strengthen your jaw.

02:05:33.000 And Jerry Cooney used one before he fought George Foreman.

02:05:37.000 I remember seeing it.

02:05:38.000 It's like this thing you'd put in his mouth.

02:05:40.000 And it was like he would bite down on it and lift weights with it.

02:05:44.000 So he's like pulling a cord and lifting weights with his jaw.

02:05:49.000 I don't know if Hagrid's was just natural, he was just born with it, but whatever it was, you can kind of see it in the shape of his head.

02:05:55.000 Do you see his right in this, Hitman's right, how he pops a right at him?

02:05:59.000 He steps to his left, and his arm just goes up like a short distance. 0.98

02:06:03.000 Fucking amazing. 0.97

02:06:05.000 Yeah, Tommy Hearns broke his hand somewhere in the round. 1.00

02:06:11.000 Look at those fucking bombs he's throwing at. 1.00

02:06:13.000 That fucking muscle head. 1.00

02:06:14.000 Sure you're going to break something. 1.00

02:06:16.000 Look at this.

02:06:16.000 Well, you throw full power bombs and you hit somebody to the top of the head, something's got to go.

02:06:20.000 That top of the head doesn't move very much.

02:06:23.000 That's where a lot of guys will break their hands.

02:06:25.000 It's hitting guys on the forehead.

02:06:29.000 This is just a crazy fight, though.

02:06:31.000 Marvin Hagler just absorbing it, and then he starts putting the pressure on Hearns.

02:06:35.000 So we're like two minutes into the round now.

02:06:38.000 And Hearns is starting to throw weaker and weaker punches and now Hagler is muscling him up against the corner and just beating him down.

02:06:47.000 That's one of the big things about Hagler was his endurance, his pace, and just the will that he had.

02:06:55.000 Like the will to fight a fight like this where you just stand right in front of a guy like Tommy Hearns and said, dude, you are not gonna knock me out.

02:07:02.000 You can't knock me out.

02:07:03.000 You don't understand.

02:07:05.000 Now you think you can knock me out, but I'm gonna stay right here.

02:07:09.000 Like, nobody fought Tommy Hearns like that. 0.98

02:07:11.000 Everybody wanna stay the fuck away from these punches.

02:07:14.000 But Hagler could absorb punches almost like no one else. 0.99

02:07:18.000 He got knocked down once in his whole career, and it was a bullshit knockdown. 0.97

02:07:22.000 The referee called it a knockdown, but if you look at it, man, it doesn't look legit. 0.98

02:07:27.000 Most people agree that it wasn't a good knockdown.

02:07:29.000 I don't remember the fighter he fought, too.

02:07:31.000 I think it was Juan Roldan.

02:07:33.000 I'm pretty sure.

02:07:34.000 But it was more of like he kind of shoved him down than knocked him down.

02:07:39.000 You know, when you watch like Tommy Hearns and some other boxers like Roberto Duran or something, you could tell that they were raw talent and walked into a gym and they worked with somebody really good and they learned how to box.

02:07:51.000 When I see Marvin Hagler and I see like the guy you were talking about before, that's 49-0.

02:07:57.000 Floyd Mayweather.

02:07:58.000 Floyd Mayweather.

02:07:59.000 When I watch them box, I think that this is as good as it gets. 0.97

02:08:03.000 When I watched Floyd Mayweather, what I just watched this fucking animal do was stand in front of him, but as intelligent as a boxer can, because we all know if I throw something, that means I'm open. 0.96

02:08:15.000 He didn't throw a lot being in front of him. 1.00

02:08:18.000 He's like sucking him in. 0.98

02:08:19.000 He's doing something to him. 0.99

02:08:21.000 I see this now as an adult. 0.99

02:08:25.000 You don't see this when you're twenty fucking two. 1.00

02:08:27.000 You just see stupidity. 1.00

02:08:29.000 But this is where I see his smarts. 1.00

02:08:31.000 He's fucking smart, man. 0.99

02:08:32.000 Well, he's also forcing Tommy to engage in a war of wills. 0.99

02:08:36.000 He's doing something that I don't know.

02:08:38.000 I'm not a boxer.

02:08:39.000 But I can see that he's got a plan.

02:08:41.000 He's not like, you know, he's not doing a vandalay just standing in front of you.

02:08:46.000 You know, he's very smart. 1.00

02:08:49.000 Fucking amazing when you watch this type of shit, what you learn. 1.00

02:08:53.000 He was just such a pleasing boxer to watch the way he moved, too. 1.00

02:08:57.000 All that bobbing and weaving and head moving.

02:09:00.000 You know, Marvin had just that...

02:09:03.000 Like, track you down style, too.

02:09:05.000 Like, you knew he was coming forward.

02:09:06.000 Like, Marvin Hagler wasn't doing any fancy footwork or, you know, doing the Ali shuffle.

02:09:11.000 He was moving towards you, looking to break you.

02:09:14.000 Always. 1.00

02:09:15.000 And those Mugabis you mentioned and those other guys, they were fucking killers. 1.00

02:09:19.000 Killers! 1.00

02:09:20.000 They were killers in those days. 1.00

02:09:21.000 Mugabe was a killer! 0.99

02:09:22.000 To explain boxing in those days, it's kind of... 0.66

02:09:23.000 And today, compare it to...

02:09:25.000 It's no comparison.

02:09:27.000 Look at this.

02:09:28.000 You heard him with the left.

02:09:30.000 And this is where he starts coming on strong.

02:09:32.000 So I think we're in the second round, right?

02:09:34.000 Right.

02:09:34.000 I think he stops him here, if I remember.

02:09:37.000 Boom, boom! 0.98

02:09:38.000 He stops him in the third?

02:09:40.000 Or this is the third?

02:09:41.000 No, it's in the third.

02:09:42.000 Oh, okay.

02:09:42.000 So this is where he starts hurting him?

02:09:45.000 But he's got his number already.

02:09:47.000 Because he's got his number, and he's not even going in like a savage either.

02:09:50.000 Again, very composed.

02:09:52.000 Watch, he'll tap him again before this round is over. 0.99

02:09:55.000 And each one of those taps is just cutting at the fucking tree. 0.99

02:09:59.000 Well, he's not giving him any air either. 1.00

02:10:00.000 Look at this shit. 1.00

02:10:01.000 Boom! 1.00

02:10:03.000 The guys that don't give you any breaks, those guys are the scariest.

02:10:07.000 Because you can never recover. 0.98

02:10:08.000 So if a guy like Tommy Hearns unloads his best shit on you and then breaks his hand, so he's got one hand. 0.99

02:10:13.000 I don't know which one. 0.99

02:10:14.000 I believe he hurt his right hand. 0.97

02:10:16.000 So he's got a left hand, his right hand is all fucked up, and he can't really knock you out with it anymore. 1.00

02:10:21.000 He's fucked. 1.00

02:10:22.000 So now he's gonna try to hit you with big left hooks. 1.00

02:10:26.000 And Marvin never lets him stop.

02:10:28.000 Never lets him take that breath.

02:10:30.000 Always keeps him moving.

02:10:31.000 Always keeps that pressure on him.

02:10:32.000 And he's just wilting.

02:10:34.000 With every second of every round, he's wilting.

02:10:36.000 And in these exchanges where he takes a break, you hit him with some hard shots.

02:10:40.000 And you just keep piling it on.

02:10:42.000 Keep piling it on.

02:10:43.000 That was an exciting, exciting era of boxing.

02:10:46.000 You could wear socks all the way up to your knees.

02:10:49.000 You had athletic socks with stripes on them.

02:10:52.000 For these pay-per-view events, I used to go to the Metalheads.

02:10:55.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:10:56.000 So you would go to the Meadowlands racetrack and they would be inclusive in the price of the fucking track that night. 0.98

02:11:03.000 You'd gamble, watch the fight. 0.98

02:11:05.000 I forget who I saw Marvin Hagler fight.

02:11:07.000 How many times did Hagler fight Tommy Hurts?

02:11:09.000 Just once.

02:11:10.000 Okay. 1.00

02:11:11.000 Tommy Hearns didn't want no more of this shit. 1.00

02:11:12.000 Who did Hearns fight a couple times? 1.00

02:11:14.000 Sugar Ray.

02:11:15.000 That's who I saw at the middle of that.

02:11:16.000 Boom! 0.99

02:11:17.000 The left hook.

02:11:17.000 Boom!

02:11:18.000 The right hand.

02:11:18.000 Boom!

02:11:19.000 Left hook. 0.75

02:11:19.000 Right hand. 0.75

02:11:20.000 God damn. 1.00

02:11:21.000 How did Tommy Hearns survive this? 1.00

02:11:22.000 See, now Marvin is pouring it on.

02:11:24.000 Look at this.

02:11:25.000 Jesus Christ.

02:11:26.000 Look at his hands.

02:11:26.000 Joe Rogan by his chin.

02:11:28.000 Boom! 0.99

02:11:28.000 He hasn't moved. 0.99

02:11:29.000 Discipline.

02:11:30.000 Beautiful.

02:11:30.000 Just beautiful.

02:11:31.000 Beautiful boxing.

02:11:32.000 And look, same pace that he had in the first round.

02:11:34.000 I mean, Marvin's just beating down on him.

02:11:38.000 Just putting it on him.

02:11:39.000 God, this is a great fight.

02:11:41.000 Such a great fight.

02:11:43.000 So yeah, Tommy makes it out of the second round.

02:11:46.000 Wow.

02:11:47.000 That's one of those things, man.

02:11:48.000 In your brain, you have a memory, and it's like a false memory.

02:11:52.000 Sometimes you have to watch the fight to see it.

02:11:55.000 God, that's just the case with everything, though.

02:11:57.000 There's so many memories that you have from just a few years ago.

02:12:01.000 You wonder, like, man, how did that really go down?

02:12:03.000 God.

02:12:04.000 Let me watch it again.

02:12:05.000 What was that movie really like?

02:12:07.000 Yeah, let me watch that fight again.

02:12:10.000 The human memory is real weird.

02:12:14.000 That's the saddest things about these boxers too. 0.88

02:12:17.000 When they get older and older and more fucked up is, you know, the memory is one of the big ones that goes. 0.95

02:12:22.000 Well, that's one of the one things that I've heard you talk about. 0.86

02:12:25.000 Like, let's say somebody has a fight on a Saturday and they have a close decision.

02:12:30.000 You'll watch it again Sunday when you get home.

02:12:33.000 Then you won't watch it for a few days.

02:12:35.000 Let the eat the wear off.

02:12:36.000 And then watch it again.

02:12:38.000 And you'll see the true winner. 1.00

02:12:39.000 If you know how to count points and the bullshit. 1.00

02:12:41.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:12:42.000 You know the problem with picking a true winner though?

02:12:44.000 I sometimes make subjective decisions in my own head that go back and forth.

02:12:49.000 Like I'm not always convinced that I'm right.

02:12:52.000 Like, if you look at a guy who lands harder shots but less of them.

02:12:56.000 Like, here's a good example.

02:12:58.000 Dan Henderson versus Michael Bisping.

02:13:01.000 Now, Michael Bisping thinks he won, and the judges think he won, and a lot of people think he won because he landed more shots, controlled more moments of the fight.

02:13:10.000 Dan Henderson thinks he won because he hurt Michael Bisping a couple of occasions, beat him up, his face was really battered, and in the first round in particular he came way closer to stopping the fight than Than Bisping ever did to him.

02:13:26.000 So I could see that argument as well, that those moments where he had Bisping incredibly damaged should be worth a lot of points.

02:13:35.000 I see those arguments, man.

02:13:37.000 I don't know who's right or who's wrong, quite honestly.

02:13:40.000 I could see both arguments.

02:13:41.000 I see Bisping's argument.

02:13:43.000 It makes a ton of sense to me.

02:13:44.000 He put in more work.

02:13:46.000 He landed more shots.

02:13:47.000 He came back from getting really badly hurt, which showed amazing heart and cardio.

02:13:54.000 I see that argument too.

02:13:55.000 So it's like deciding who wins and loses a fight isn't always very clear.

02:14:00.000 There's different philosophies.

02:14:02.000 Like you talk to a wrestler, he's way more impressed with a guy who takes a guy down a bunch of times than a guy who lands some brutal leg kicks in the third round.

02:14:10.000 But if you talk to a Muay Thai guy, he'll go, yeah, well, what happened in those first two rounds?

02:14:13.000 Yeah, he took me down, but he didn't do anything once he had me down.

02:14:16.000 So the only thing is he's laying on me.

02:14:17.000 I'm not getting hurt. 0.99

02:14:18.000 But in that third round, I fucked him up. 0.99

02:14:20.000 And you listen to what he said, and you go, wow, that is a good point, because that guy's damaged. 0.99

02:14:24.000 Like, you damaged his leg.

02:14:25.000 Yeah, there's the KO. Woo! 0.83

02:14:28.000 Show that again.

02:14:29.000 Show that final barrage.

02:14:32.000 Wow, this is 85. Watch this.

02:14:36.000 Goddamn, man. 0.99

02:14:38.000 Yeah, I was in high school, dude. 0.99

02:14:39.000 This was when I was a senior in high school.

02:14:40.000 This was the fight.

02:14:42.000 I remember watching this with my jaw just hanging down like, wow!

02:14:48.000 Because I thought it was going to be a crazy fight.

02:14:51.000 And it was a crazy fight, but I never thought it was going to be this.

02:14:54.000 This was so crazy.

02:14:55.000 And Marvin Hagler just mauled him.

02:14:58.000 I mean, he kind of shut everybody up, man.

02:15:01.000 Because there was a lot of people that thought Tommy Hearns was going to knock him out.

02:15:04.000 They thought that he had never been hit, so he went a little bit too far back.

02:15:08.000 This is where they checked his cut.

02:15:10.000 And when they checked his cut, Tommy Hearns had nailed him a couple of times, and Hagler was probably worried about them stopping the fight.

02:15:19.000 Ooh, that jab. 0.97

02:15:20.000 Ooh, Tommy Hearns had a jab.

02:15:22.000 I didn't watch this live. 0.99

02:15:23.000 God knows what the fuck I was doing. 0.99

02:15:24.000 I was in Jersey, in Hyden or some shit, in 85. Tommy Hurts had such a good jab. 0.99

02:15:31.000 Just snap it out at you.

02:15:33.000 And with those long arms, he used to keep his hand, like, below his trunks.

02:15:37.000 You know, like, below the waistband of his trunks, and just pop it right in your face.

02:15:41.000 Like, see how he did it there? 1.00

02:15:43.000 Oh shit! 1.00

02:15:44.000 Boom! 1.00

02:15:45.000 This is it.

02:15:46.000 Boom! 0.99

02:15:46.000 That last right hand, and then that left. 0.99

02:15:49.000 Wow!

02:15:51.000 That was one of the greatest boxing fights and boxing finishes of all time.

02:15:56.000 Of all time.

02:15:58.000 Especially, like, it's hard today to understand what it was like when I was in high school when this was going on.

02:16:04.000 Because this was, uh, it was just...

02:16:07.000 There was no internet, right?

02:16:09.000 So this was just word of mouth and radio.

02:16:13.000 You'd hear about it on the radio.

02:16:15.000 You'd see it in the newspaper.

02:16:16.000 You'd look in the sports section.

02:16:17.000 It was pay-per-view. 1.00

02:16:18.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:16:19.000 It was pay-per-view. 1.00

02:16:20.000 You didn't see Dick.

02:16:21.000 You had to go somewhere.

02:16:22.000 You had to go somewhere.

02:16:22.000 That's right.

02:16:23.000 Yeah, you had to go somewhere and you had to watch it in a theater.

02:16:25.000 We would pay...

02:16:26.000 It was what they would call closed circuit.

02:16:28.000 Closed circuit.

02:16:29.000 They didn't call it pay-per-view back then.

02:16:31.000 You say, oh, well, how do we see the fight?

02:16:32.000 Oh, it's closed circuit.

02:16:34.000 So you would go there and you'd pay a ticket and then you'd go sit in a movie theater, a bunch of other savages, and you guys would all watch the boxing match together. 0.94

02:16:41.000 That's how I saw Sugar Ray and Hagler.

02:16:44.000 Closed circuit.

02:16:45.000 I think I saw, like I said, I saw the Hagler Sugar Ray at the track, and there was another one that I went.

02:16:51.000 It wasn't more like seats.

02:16:52.000 It was like general admission.

02:16:54.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

02:16:54.000 And you walked in there like it wasn't like seats and shit. 0.99

02:16:57.000 I saw a Tyson fight like that. 0.99

02:16:58.000 It was standing room only.

02:16:59.000 They put on this big screen.

02:17:00.000 It was outside.

02:17:01.000 They put on a big screen, and they played the commentary to the crowd.

02:17:04.000 It was crazy.

02:17:05.000 It was like a giant, almost like a drive-in movie theater, but they had speakers.

02:17:09.000 That was in Vegas.

02:17:11.000 I fought Frank Bruno. 0.99

02:17:13.000 And they were fighting in Vegas, but I didn't have the money for the fucking tickets. 1.00

02:17:17.000 Tickets are stupid expensive. 1.00

02:17:18.000 That wasn't Tyson. 1.00

02:17:19.000 It was Tyson!

02:17:20.000 It's prime.

02:17:22.000 And Frank Bruno might have been the best built guy to ever box heavyweight ever.

02:17:27.000 You ever see Frank Bruno?

02:17:29.000 Do you remember Frank Bruno?

02:17:30.000 I don't remember.

02:17:30.000 I don't remember Frank Bruno.

02:17:31.000 Jesus Christ.

02:17:31.000 The last fight I watched Tyson fight was maybe like when he knocked out Spinks.

02:17:36.000 Oh, yeah.

02:17:36.000 In Atlantic City.

02:17:37.000 My friend had a party. 0.99

02:17:39.000 You know, the whole, I know some fucking first round. 0.96

02:17:42.000 The pizza didn't even get there. 0.97

02:17:44.000 I think Bruno was actually before Spinks. 0.97

02:17:46.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

02:17:47.000 I think I'm wrong.

02:17:48.000 I think I'm wrong.

02:17:49.000 I think Spinks was first, then Bruno was later, but... 0.61

02:17:53.000 I might...

02:17:54.000 I don't know.

02:17:55.000 But Frank Bruno...

02:17:56.000 So just pull up a picture of him so you can see him.

02:17:59.000 But you can see here from the fight, the dude was yoked. 0.98

02:18:02.000 But some pictures of Frank Bruno are just fucking ridiculous. 0.99

02:18:05.000 He's just... 0.98

02:18:09.000 And he was an argument that a lot of boxing trainers used to use that you can't be that muscular and be an effective heavyweight boxer.

02:18:20.000 That's Roy Jones, son. 0.98

02:18:21.000 You're racist. 1.00

02:18:22.000 Jamie, how dare you. 1.00

02:18:24.000 Who is that?

02:18:25.000 Oh, how dare you?

02:18:26.000 It was Roy Jones.

02:18:30.000 That's him now, though.

02:18:31.000 Look how fat Ricky Hatton got. 0.99

02:18:33.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:18:35.000 Damn, Ricky. 1.00

02:18:38.000 There's a good picture of him. 1.00

02:18:39.000 The dude was just jacked.

02:18:41.000 And that's him.

02:18:42.000 Obviously, he's not even fighting.

02:18:44.000 There he is.

02:18:46.000 You see, without him even flexing, at full muscle flex, he's still super jacked.

02:18:56.000 And he beat a lot of guys up, but Tyson murked him.

02:19:00.000 But again, that was when Tyson was Tyson, dude.

02:19:03.000 It says, Tyson Bruno won?

02:19:04.000 I didn't know they fought twice.

02:19:06.000 Oh yeah, I think he stopped him twice.

02:19:10.000 Let me ask you, what year was this?

02:19:14.000 You just said it.

02:19:15.000 89. How was the testing in those days in boxing?

02:19:18.000 There was no testing.

02:19:19.000 There was no G testing?

02:19:21.000 No. 1.00

02:19:22.000 Well, that's why these guys showed up fucking, like Ken Norton. 1.00

02:19:25.000 When I was a kid, Ken Norton was the biggest motherfucker I ever saw in my life. 1.00

02:19:28.000 Was he g-balling at those times or was Ken Norton all natural? 0.99

02:19:32.000 In the 70s?

02:19:32.000 Do you think they did that in the 70s?

02:19:34.000 There wasn't a lot of options, I think, of steroids.

02:19:37.000 I'd like to check what were the options.

02:19:39.000 Maybe the Germans had him? 1.00

02:19:40.000 They definitely had him.

02:19:41.000 The Germans had him? 0.58

02:19:42.000 There was definitely...

02:19:43.000 He just looks like an athlete to me.

02:19:45.000 Yeah, like an athlete there.

02:19:47.000 But there was one fight that Ken Norton did look a little yoked.

02:19:50.000 Well, he was a big guy.

02:19:51.000 When he fought Muhammad Ali, he broke his jaw.

02:19:54.000 I mean, he was a serious athlete, and he was a former pro football player, right?

02:19:58.000 Wasn't he?

02:19:59.000 It's his marine toughness.

02:20:02.000 I believe Ken Norton played professional football, too.

02:20:05.000 His son definitely did.

02:20:05.000 His son did.

02:20:06.000 His son did.

02:20:06.000 Is that what it is?

02:20:07.000 Is that what I'm thinking about?

02:20:08.000 I don't know that he didn't.

02:20:08.000 I just know that his son definitely did.

02:20:09.000 That must be what I'm thinking of. 1.00

02:20:10.000 But Ken Norton was a bad motherfucker, dude. 1.00

02:20:13.000 He actually got... 0.99

02:20:14.000 He's pretty badly banged up now, but not from boxing.

02:20:17.000 He got in a car accident.

02:20:20.000 And apparently got really hurt in that car accident.

02:20:22.000 Did you see this over the weekend that happened in a boxing fight?

02:20:25.000 Yeah, I did.

02:20:26.000 Juan Manuel Lopez, he take-a-o'd Wilfredo Velasquez Jr., and then went after his trainer, punched his trainer in the face. 0.88

02:20:34.000 So that dude went down, and then he goes up to the guy's trainer, and I don't know what the fuck the trainer said, but he goes right up to him. 0.95

02:20:44.000 Dude, they're throwing bombs at each other. 0.96

02:20:49.000 Hilarious.

02:20:49.000 And then he's pointing at him.

02:20:51.000 Why are you pointing at him?

02:20:52.000 He started it?

02:20:53.000 Is that what you're saying?

02:20:54.000 God, craziness. 1.00

02:20:56.000 People are nuts. 0.99

02:20:59.000 But that's a nutty sport. 0.99

02:21:00.000 You know, like what we were talking about earlier with that whole Floyd Mayweather thing.

02:21:05.000 Like that kind of sport.

02:21:07.000 You're gonna have things like that.

02:21:08.000 You're gonna have people that want to have 30 minute fights in the gym. 1.00

02:21:12.000 Like 30 minute rounds.

02:21:15.000 It's pretty... 0.77

02:21:16.000 It's ridiculous, but it makes sense when you think of the sport. 0.74

02:21:20.000 You know, what the sport really kind of represents. 0.86

02:21:23.000 It's like the extreme nature of those guys who compete in it.

02:21:28.000 It's just...

02:21:28.000 It's crazy that the Athletic Commission got pissed at people throwing water bottles, but didn't get pissed at him for doing that.

02:21:36.000 It's, you know...

02:21:38.000 I get it.

02:21:39.000 I get it if you're Floyd Mayweather.

02:21:41.000 I get it.

02:21:42.000 I mean, that's how you become that guy in the first place.

02:21:45.000 When you brought up Fedor, there's talk of him fighting Matt Mitrione, supposedly.

02:21:50.000 According to someone that I know, that is not true.

02:21:55.000 How about that?

02:21:56.000 Alright.

02:21:57.000 Well, that's...

02:21:58.000 But, who knows?

02:22:00.000 People might be trolling.

02:22:02.000 That might be a good fight, though.

02:22:04.000 Fedor and Mitrione.

02:22:06.000 Fedor and Karwin I like better.

02:22:10.000 In Ryzen, in Japan.

02:22:12.000 Joe Diaz, Joe Diaz.

02:22:14.000 I don't know.

02:22:15.000 Tell me about Chicago. 0.99

02:22:16.000 Last time I saw fucking Fedor, I love him to death. 0.99

02:22:21.000 You know, I caught the tail end of Fedor. 0.99

02:22:23.000 You know, I caught like the two fights before he got armbarred.

02:22:27.000 Right.

02:22:28.000 By our boy.

02:22:29.000 Well, he got armbarred first.

02:22:30.000 And you saw the fights that he won before that?

02:22:32.000 Yeah, like two fights.

02:22:33.000 You turned me on to him.

02:22:34.000 And then...

02:22:37.000 He beat Bret Rogers, and then I think the next fight after Bret Rogers, I'm pretty sure, was Verdum.

02:22:42.000 I didn't catch Fedor in his heydays, is what I'm trying to say.

02:22:45.000 So the last couple times, it was like how people said they went to watch Hicks at the end.

02:22:51.000 They got a little excited, went down.

02:22:53.000 So then he got submitted by Verdum, which you and I discussed. 0.99

02:22:58.000 This could fucking be doomed for him. 0.99

02:23:00.000 He's got a nasty guard. 1.00

02:23:02.000 He's another guy we were talking about.

02:23:04.000 Yeah, nasty guard.

02:23:05.000 So then I saw a couple pieces of the last fight. 0.99

02:23:11.000 That was fucking embarrassing. 0.99

02:23:13.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00

02:23:13.000 That was fucking embarrassing. 1.00

02:23:14.000 The Fabio Malvinato fight? 0.99

02:23:15.000 Both of them.

02:23:16.000 And Fabio I love. 0.99

02:23:17.000 I love his fucking jaw that he takes a fight at short notice. 0.99

02:23:21.000 And then he fought that Indian gentleman before that. 1.00

02:23:23.000 Yeah.

02:23:24.000 But Fedor, I mean, now you just want to exploit the guy.

02:23:26.000 Mm-hmm.

02:23:27.000 And that's how people get hurt.

02:23:28.000 I don't think Fedor wants to fight. 0.99

02:23:29.000 He fought for fucking years and he was killing people. 0.98

02:23:32.000 And all of a sudden he didn't fight for a while and now he wants to make a comeback. 0.99

02:23:35.000 I don't know.

02:23:36.000 His brother got out of jail.

02:23:37.000 His brother just got out of jail.

02:23:38.000 Is that true?

02:23:39.000 Yeah.

02:23:39.000 Okay, I did read that.

02:23:40.000 Ready to fight.

02:23:43.000 He's been doing nothing but push-ups and working out in jail.

02:23:46.000 He's gonna come out jacked with new tattoos.

02:23:50.000 If he wants to fight, I want him to be able to fight.

02:23:53.000 Just like I wanted him to be able to fight when he was 20, I want him to be able to fight when he's 40. If he wants to, why not?

02:23:58.000 I mean, he knows that it's not good for you.

02:24:01.000 He knows the damage that a fighter can take.

02:24:03.000 He's been beat up.

02:24:04.000 He's been stopped.

02:24:05.000 Dan Henderson knocked him out.

02:24:06.000 Bigfoot knocked him out.

02:24:07.000 Verdum submitted him by a triangle. 0.99

02:24:09.000 I mean, he's had some goddamn wars and some bad results. 1.00

02:24:12.000 But before that, he was solid as fuck. 1.00

02:24:14.000 Not only was he solid as fuck, he was solid as fuck in a division where people are very rarely solid as fuck. 0.99

02:24:20.000 Heavyweight is traditionally a division, at least in the UFC, where the title changes real quick. 0.99

02:24:27.000 It's too hard to maintain for whatever reason.

02:24:30.000 Up until now, it's been...

02:24:33.000 But Fedor, he didn't...

02:24:34.000 I don't think he lost to anybody for more than 10 years.

02:24:38.000 Yeah, 10 years or something.

02:24:39.000 And he fought very good fighters over there.

02:24:41.000 He fought very good fighters.

02:24:43.000 I mean, he fought Krokop when Krokop was Krokop.

02:24:45.000 You know, when Krokop was streaking.

02:24:48.000 And he essentially out-kickboxed Krokop.

02:24:51.000 You know, I mean, that's what he did in that Pride fight.

02:24:53.000 There was a lot of striking involved in that fight.

02:24:56.000 And Fedor won.

02:24:57.000 He won that fight pretty clearly.

02:24:59.000 And again, that was when Krokop was in his prime.

02:25:02.000 And Krokop had plenty of chances to stand with him, and he couldn't get the deal closed.

02:25:08.000 So there was that fight.

02:25:10.000 That was a big fight. 1.00

02:25:11.000 Submitting Mark Coleman when Mark Coleman was a fucking beast. 0.99

02:25:13.000 That was a big deal. 0.99

02:25:16.000 There was a few fights that were really big deals.

02:25:18.000 But then there were some fights that didn't happen.

02:25:20.000 Here's the biggest one though, Minotauro.

02:25:22.000 The Minotauro fight, when Minotauro was in his prime and Fedor beat him down, that is probably his most impressive. 0.93

02:25:30.000 Because Minotauro back then was fucking scary. 0.92

02:25:33.000 He was really good. 0.98

02:25:35.000 I mean, the Minotauro that triangled Mark Coleman, the Minotauro that was just anybody, he got a hold of your neck, like you were getting choked out.

02:25:46.000 You know, he was bringing...

02:25:48.000 Jiu-Jitsu at a super high level to the heavyweight division.

02:25:52.000 And the thing about Minotauro was he could take a shot.

02:25:55.000 He could take a shot, especially in his prime, like nobody.

02:25:58.000 He was like invulnerable.

02:26:00.000 He didn't feel pain.

02:26:01.000 You'd crack him, he would take shots, then he'd finish you. 0.99

02:26:04.000 You know, Krokop beat the shit out of Minotauro for one round. 0.99

02:26:08.000 I mean, beat the shit out of him. 0.99

02:26:10.000 And then he head-kicked him at the end of the first round. 0.99

02:26:13.000 Like, BOOM! And Minotauro thought they stopped the fight, but it was actually the end of the round.

02:26:18.000 He thought they stopped the fight when the referee stood up.

02:26:20.000 He's like, no!

02:26:21.000 No!

02:26:21.000 Like, you're not gonna stop this!

02:26:23.000 And the guy goes, no, no, no.

02:26:24.000 It's just the end of the round.

02:26:25.000 He's like, okay, good.

02:26:26.000 Second round starts, shoots in, takes Krokop down, armbars him. 1.00

02:26:31.000 Bitch! 1.00

02:26:32.000 He was just so tough! 1.00

02:26:34.000 Fedor beat him down, man.

02:26:36.000 Fedor beat him down.

02:26:37.000 It was a scary beatdown.

02:26:39.000 Like, he had Minotaur in the corner, and he was ground and pounding him with these ferocious, those casting punches that Fedor throws.

02:26:48.000 He's not punching like this, like straight.

02:26:50.000 He's throwing these crazy Crazy like circular hammers that are going around your gloves like you're holding your gloves up in front of yourself trying to defend yourself and he's throwing these whipping punches that are going behind the gloves and smashing Minotaro's face.

02:27:07.000 It was one of the worst beatdowns you ever saw ground and pound in pride like trapped in a corner.

02:27:15.000 Because he just worked it, man.

02:27:17.000 He hit him with some ferocious punches that not a lot of people would have been able to take.

02:27:20.000 He broke his cheekbone.

02:27:22.000 He hit him with some bombs, man.

02:27:24.000 But that was when Fedor was Fedor.

02:27:27.000 So if you look at that fight with Minotauro, you look at that fight with Krokop, like some of his best performances, there's no doubt if he's not the greatest, it's between him and Cain Velasquez, in my opinion, as far as the two greatest heavyweights of all time, and then honorable consideration to Fabrizio Verdum.

02:27:45.000 Like, Fabrizio Verdun, despite getting KO'd with one punch by Stipe Miocic, still submitted Cain Velasquez, submitted Minotauro, and submitted Fedor.

02:27:54.000 He submitted three all-time greats.

02:27:57.000 So those are the three that I think you have to take into consideration as the greatest of all time.

02:28:01.000 The only thing you would look and you'd say, well, more people, like, how many people beat each guy?

02:28:08.000 You know, how many people beat Minotauro versus how many people beat Fedor versus how many people beat Cain?

02:28:13.000 Can you count all that up?

02:28:16.000 Who knows?

02:28:17.000 It's just, you know, it's hard.

02:28:18.000 It doesn't really make sense.

02:28:20.000 Like, trying to figure out who's the greatest of all time. 0.99

02:28:22.000 Who gives a fuck? 0.99

02:28:23.000 But if it is... 0.99

02:28:23.000 Tomorrow a new guy comes along and we've been waiting some time for 20 minutes. 0.99

02:28:27.000 The thing about Fedor, though, is that he did it for so long. 0.98

02:28:30.000 No, he did it for the longest fucking time. 0.96

02:28:32.000 I tapped into him, like I said. 0.97

02:28:35.000 Towards the end, and when he lost, he got the armbar from Verdum, it was like I wasn't surprised.

02:28:42.000 You could see the deterioration.

02:28:44.000 They were trying to exploit him at that time with the UFC. They were asking for money.

02:28:49.000 They didn't know what they wanted to do with him.

02:28:51.000 It was like they knew something.

02:28:54.000 You follow me? 0.98

02:28:56.000 It's like when that team calls you up and they try to give you the home run fucking champion in the last eight years miraculously on a Tuesday. 0.98

02:29:04.000 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

02:29:05.000 Like, why do I deserve this fucking call? 0.99

02:29:07.000 They knew something. 0.99

02:29:08.000 And he started losing a couple fights and he retired shortly after.

02:29:12.000 Well, he lost three in a row, which is really crazy.

02:29:14.000 Which is crazy.

02:29:15.000 Yeah.

02:29:15.000 And the first one, you know, he loses by submission, you know, but it was a mistake.

02:29:21.000 He followed Verdum to the ground.

02:29:23.000 He hit him.

02:29:24.000 He had Verdum hurt.

02:29:25.000 He thought he had him hurt.

02:29:26.000 Verdum just set a trap, locked him up tight, got him with that nasty guard.

02:29:31.000 But the second one was bad.

02:29:32.000 Second one, he fought Bigfoot.

02:29:34.000 And that was when Bigfoot was Bigfoot.

02:29:36.000 That's when Bigfoot was on that testosterone, too.

02:29:39.000 That's when they allowed them to do it because, you know, Bigfoot had a pituitary gland tumor.

02:29:42.000 So he had like legitimate gigantisms.

02:29:45.000 He's a guy who actually needed testosterone.

02:29:47.000 He really did need it.

02:29:48.000 And he was jacked!

02:29:51.000 And he got on top of Fedor, and he just...

02:29:53.000 Boom, boom, boom! 0.95

02:29:56.000 He stopped him.

02:29:57.000 And, you know, people forget that Bigfoot, despite the fact that he's an enormous guy, or not just despite, rather, but as well as being an enormous guy, he's also Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt.

02:30:09.000 Like, legit. 1.00

02:30:10.000 That guy mounts you, you're fucked. 1.00

02:30:12.000 It's a 300-pound giant person mounted you with black belt skills. 1.00

02:30:18.000 And he's dropping these fucking laptops on your head. 1.00

02:30:21.000 Boom! 1.00

02:30:22.000 Boom! 0.99

02:30:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:30:25.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:30:26.000 So that was a bad beating. 1.00

02:30:28.000 And then Henderson KO'd him.

02:30:29.000 And the Henderson one was, you know, Henderson's a 185-pounder, which is even crazier.

02:30:34.000 So he went from a 300-pound man KO'ing him to a 185-pound man KO'ing him.

02:30:39.000 And by the way, Henderson, not a big 185. Like, Henderson's not as big as some guys that have fought at 170. That's how hard he fucking punches.

02:30:49.000 Henderson's tiny. 1.00

02:30:50.000 I wouldn't say that to his face.

02:30:52.000 No, no, no, no, no.

02:30:53.000 Not that he's tiny, tiny, tiny.

02:30:54.000 But he's...

02:30:55.000 Listen, man.

02:30:55.000 You know, you watch pro football, right?

02:30:57.000 You look at those defensive backs. 0.99

02:30:59.000 And all of a sudden you see him after the game and you're like, that guy ain't that fucking big. 0.98

02:31:03.000 The way he's hitting. 0.92

02:31:05.000 You know, he's lighting people up.

02:31:07.000 But he's 5'9", 185. The momentum's with you, Jack.

02:31:10.000 Right. 1.00

02:31:10.000 That's a perfect size for all that shit. 1.00

02:31:12.000 How big is Ocho Cinco? 1.00

02:31:14.000 Check it out.

02:31:15.000 You'd be a shot. 0.81

02:31:16.000 Yeah, you were just saying that.

02:31:18.000 I'll look him up as official, but I'd guess 6'1", 185. That seems like, to be at your fastest, seems like that's a good weight for those guys, right?

02:31:28.000 195 to 205. 185. You know, if you're a good defensive back, you're 185. You're banging up against motherfuckers.

02:31:39.000 188. So what do you think, like, the lightest guy that plays in the NFL ways? 0.99

02:31:44.000 What's a super light guy?

02:31:46.000 175 and a DB. Wow, really?

02:31:48.000 Let's see.

02:31:48.000 Let's check it.

02:31:49.000 I gotta... 1.00

02:31:50.000 Listen, there's fucking receivers that'll pick you up. 1.00

02:31:54.000 And throw you out of the stadium. 1.00

02:31:56.000 They got tight ends that are fucking 6'6", 265. And they got, you know, what's the shit they say to people when they break them down? 1.00

02:32:05.000 Oh! 0.99

02:32:07.000 155. Look at this guy.

02:32:10.000 Oh my god, what's the top?

02:32:11.000 Tip the scale at 119. What's that?

02:32:14.000 Back up a little there.

02:32:15.000 Back up so we can see better.

02:32:17.000 It was from another story, it didn't have the whole thing on.

02:32:19.000 Oh, I see, I see.

02:32:21.000 But he's a receiver.

02:32:24.000 So one guy said, one guy weighed 155 pounds?

02:32:27.000 Was that recent or was that back in the day?

02:32:29.000 Yeah, that was the current player.

02:32:30.000 But let me tell you something about that 155. That 155 is running fucking right past you. 0.92

02:32:38.000 Probably. 0.99

02:32:38.000 I could bet my life that if they let him play at 155, it's because either he's going to come in one player game and just do a four fucking... 0.99

02:32:48.000 4-4-3. 0.97

02:32:50.000 Yeah, there you go.

02:32:51.000 I don't have to tell you nothing. 1.00

02:32:52.000 It's all the same shit. 1.00

02:32:54.000 That guy has to come in. 1.00

02:32:56.000 But if he gets hit...

02:32:57.000 He ain't getting hit.

02:32:58.000 He's going to get caught from behind, if anything.

02:33:01.000 They're going to grab his leg.

02:33:02.000 The guy's going to dive like Pete Rose and grab his leg.

02:33:05.000 You ain't going to hit him.

02:33:07.000 Is this him doing drills, Jamie?

02:33:11.000 What is he doing?

02:33:14.000 I want to see it.

02:33:18.000 Looks like a guy running.

02:33:19.000 It's not so impressive unless you're there.

02:33:21.000 I think there's something lost in a video of a guy running, you know?

02:33:25.000 What is it?

02:33:26.000 Like, you ever see a guy, like, work out live?

02:33:30.000 And, you know, you're super impressed, but you see it in a video and you're like, ah, not that big a deal.

02:33:36.000 It's hard to...

02:33:37.000 Is this him running the ball back?

02:33:38.000 Yeah.

02:33:38.000 Yeah, that's what they do.

02:33:39.000 Look how fast that guy is!

02:33:40.000 Yeah, that's what I told you, Joe Rogan.

02:33:42.000 Oh my god, that's hilarious.

02:33:43.000 They're paying him for that. 1.00

02:33:45.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:33:46.000 Look at him go. 1.00

02:33:46.000 And 42 is lightning. 1.00

02:33:48.000 56 is pretty fast himself.

02:33:50.000 Look at him go. 1.00

02:33:50.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:33:52.000 Wow. 1.00

02:33:54.000 Well, hey, that's the benefit of being 160 pounds.

02:33:57.000 That's why you got him.

02:33:58.000 Watch this one.

02:34:00.000 Now, this guy, they said 165. Is that what they said, Jamie?

02:34:02.000 Is it a different guy?

02:34:03.000 57155. Oh, this is the...

02:34:05.000 Look at that.

02:34:06.000 57155. They've tried to hit him.

02:34:07.000 They've tried to grab his leg.

02:34:09.000 Oh, my God.

02:34:10.000 He's so fast.

02:34:11.000 Look at that.

02:34:12.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

02:34:14.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:34:14.000 He's like a ghost. 1.00

02:34:15.000 Look, they're diving in front of him.

02:34:17.000 Look at this. 1.00

02:34:18.000 Look at this shit. 1.00

02:34:20.000 The current best running back in college football right now is about his size. 1.00

02:34:24.000 He's a little bit bigger than 155, but he's 5'7", maybe like 175, and he can't be stopped because they can't see him.

02:34:31.000 What happened to that white dude right there?

02:34:33.000 Back that up just a couple seconds ago. 0.99

02:34:35.000 I mean, obviously I'm not a fucking commentator. 0.97

02:34:38.000 A little bit before that. 0.99

02:34:41.000 Watch this guy.

02:34:42.000 Watch this white dude that's waiting down there.

02:34:44.000 Watch this.

02:34:45.000 He's like, oh, I don't do anything.

02:34:46.000 He's the punter.

02:34:47.000 He can't take him out if you're the punter?

02:34:49.000 No, no.

02:34:50.000 He's about...

02:34:50.000 So what was he doing standing there faking him out?

02:34:53.000 Some punters don't give a fuck, Jack. 0.99

02:34:55.000 They had a couple cocktails before the game. 1.00

02:34:57.000 They'll throw that shoulder in there. 1.00

02:34:59.000 But that's all you're going to get out of him is a good shoulder.

02:35:01.000 That guy just stood there.

02:35:03.000 Show that again.

02:35:04.000 That guy just stood there in front of him.

02:35:07.000 And, like, faked him out.

02:35:08.000 Watch.

02:35:08.000 Like he's running.

02:35:09.000 He's probably trying to steer him out of bounds, but he can't tackle.

02:35:12.000 He doesn't practice tackling.

02:35:13.000 He can't tackle him?

02:35:14.000 He's not allowed?

02:35:15.000 Well, maybe not.

02:35:16.000 See?

02:35:17.000 He just, like, faked him out.

02:35:18.000 Whoa, I don't have pads on.

02:35:19.000 Don't hit me.

02:35:21.000 Does the punter wear the same pads?

02:35:24.000 Not usually, because they have to kick their leg up higher.

02:35:27.000 They have different stuff on.

02:35:28.000 They have a smaller helmet, too.

02:35:30.000 Less protection.

02:35:31.000 Wow.

02:35:32.000 How weird.

02:35:33.000 You can't touch the punter.

02:35:34.000 It's a violation.

02:35:35.000 So he's not going to be padded up to the gazills.

02:35:38.000 Right.

02:35:38.000 I get it.

02:35:39.000 But he could still trip this motherfucker. 1.00

02:35:41.000 He can? 1.00

02:35:41.000 He's allowed to? 1.00

02:35:42.000 You're getting 300 G's a year.

02:35:43.000 You got to do something.

02:35:44.000 Do something.

02:35:45.000 You just kicked the ball into his hand.

02:35:46.000 Yeah.

02:35:47.000 He ran it back. 1.00

02:35:48.000 If he runs back to you, you fucked up. 1.00

02:35:50.000 Yeah, you fucked up. 1.00

02:35:50.000 That means you fucked up somewhere. 1.00

02:35:52.000 You put it in his range. 1.00

02:35:53.000 Trip him!

02:35:54.000 See, the punter, what you want to do is... 1.00

02:35:57.000 Let's go to the fucking videotape here. 0.99

02:35:59.000 This is the scoreboard right here, right, Joe Rogan? 0.99

02:36:01.000 This is the field.

02:36:02.000 If I'm a punter, my job is...

02:36:04.000 You see where that six-yard line is?

02:36:06.000 Watch, here's the punter.

02:36:07.000 This guy's 250 pounds.

02:36:10.000 That's the punter that just checked that dude?

02:36:12.000 Yeah, this big guy, 99. Why'd that other guy get mad at him and elbow him?

02:36:16.000 Are they excited?

02:36:17.000 They're happy.

02:36:18.000 Like, yeah.

02:36:20.000 Isn't that funny? 0.99

02:36:21.000 Like, what my daughters would think is an aggressive, you know, like, don't fucking hit me with guys after they're playing football. 1.00

02:36:27.000 That's a good thing. 0.98

02:36:29.000 Boom! 0.99

02:36:29.000 See, watch. 0.99

02:36:30.000 This other guy runs into him.

02:36:31.000 Yeah!

02:36:31.000 Watch this.

02:36:32.000 Yeah, motherfucker. 1.00

02:36:33.000 Like, he's excited. 1.00

02:36:34.000 He, like, double palms him on his chest, but that's, like, because he likes him.

02:36:40.000 So Joe Rogan, he wants to have the ball here.

02:36:42.000 Right.

02:36:43.000 When I'm paying you, I don't want the ball to land in here.

02:36:46.000 Yeah, he's only got momentum from here.

02:36:48.000 Right.

02:36:48.000 I want the ball to land always on the six-yard line right here.

02:36:53.000 This is where I want the ball.

02:36:54.000 On the ends.

02:36:55.000 In that deep territory.

02:36:56.000 Right.

02:36:57.000 Because I got more support.

02:36:58.000 I can get him from the inside. 1.00

02:36:59.000 This motherfucker kicked in here. 1.00

02:37:01.000 He's fucking doing a fire. 1.00

02:37:02.000 He's 5'8", 180 pounds. 1.00

02:37:04.000 What do you think he's going to do? 1.00

02:37:06.000 So if you kick a ball to a guy right there, you put it right there for him, he should be shot and hung. 1.00

02:37:10.000 You should at least recover and tackle him or bite him or do something. 1.00

02:37:14.000 You're already fucked up with the punter already. 1.00

02:37:16.000 He fucked up. 1.00

02:37:18.000 You want to put that ball where he's going to have the most help. 1.00

02:37:21.000 Let me ask you this.

02:37:22.000 When we're talking about baseball and all the Pete Rose stuff, you can't run into dudes anymore and you're seeing the softening of society.

02:37:30.000 How are they going to soften up football?

02:37:34.000 They have, you can't spear helmet no more.

02:37:36.000 Like, can you go on to... 0.95

02:37:38.000 But it's still pretty fucking brutal, right? 1.00

02:37:41.000 The Raiders, you remember, because at this time you were a kid and people talked about it, the Raiders had a reputation as bad motherfuckers. 0.99

02:37:48.000 I mean, one of their guys crippled a dude on Monday Night Football. 0.99

02:37:52.000 Jack Tatum fucking crippled the guy with a hit. 0.98

02:37:56.000 Helmet first, you know, into the spine. 0.99

02:37:58.000 Did he do it on purpose?

02:38:00.000 I don't think so.

02:38:01.000 Right.

02:38:22.000 I don't need to see a guy on his back, bro, with his parents at home on their feet watching their son on the TV thing and his body shaking because he just jolted his neck. 1.00

02:38:31.000 I think of that shit, too. 0.99

02:38:33.000 Well, I have a friend who went to a high school game recently, and I think he said five kids got laid out in a high school game. 1.00

02:38:44.000 He said they just cracked into each other.

02:38:46.000 And, you know, seeing these kids lying on the ground with their bell rung.

02:38:49.000 He said he saw it five different times.

02:38:51.000 He might have said six, man.

02:38:53.000 I'm trying to remember.

02:38:53.000 But he was shocked.

02:38:55.000 Oh, my God.

02:38:55.000 Those two guys, oh, my God.

02:38:58.000 They double smashed into this dude.

02:39:00.000 Look at this.

02:39:00.000 He gets the ball.

02:39:02.000 Boom.

02:39:03.000 Oh, my God.

02:39:04.000 That guy's not going home for a couple weeks.

02:39:06.000 Oh, my God.

02:39:06.000 You see how his helmet went back like that?

02:39:08.000 Yeah.

02:39:09.000 That's horrible.

02:39:11.000 Is that him?

02:39:12.000 No, that's another play.

02:39:13.000 It's another guy?

02:39:13.000 It's like the top ten hits highlight thing.

02:39:16.000 I was just putting it up while you guys were talking.

02:39:17.000 I thought they were showing him smiling afterwards.

02:39:19.000 Like, we're okay.

02:39:20.000 Everything's fine.

02:39:21.000 I think he broke his jaw in that play.

02:39:23.000 Yeah.

02:39:23.000 I would imagine.

02:39:24.000 Yeah, if the helmet goes back that hard.

02:39:26.000 Look at these things.

02:39:27.000 Well, see, there's the potential.

02:39:28.000 Is that a fine?

02:39:29.000 Is that a violation, Jamie?

02:39:30.000 That's going to be a fine because he led with his elbow and he knocked him out. 1.00

02:39:33.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

02:39:34.000 You see on the replay here, he's the guy that dove into him. 1.00

02:39:37.000 Because when the quarterback slides like that, Joe, they're not allowed to hit him at all.

02:39:39.000 They're giving up their body.

02:39:41.000 So they're not allowed to be touched basically at all.

02:39:43.000 You've got to let him just hit the ground.

02:39:44.000 And he was already flying in and hit him with the elbow, which also hit him in the head.

02:39:47.000 So he probably got fined $25,000, $30,000 for this.

02:39:52.000 Wait a minute.

02:39:53.000 Hold on.

02:39:54.000 Do that again. 0.95

02:39:54.000 Let me see this again. 0.95

02:39:56.000 But see, since he's sliding feet first, you're not allowed to even touch him.

02:39:59.000 You're supposed to just let up.

02:40:01.000 Yeah, but he's already in a position where he can't stop.

02:40:04.000 Too bad.

02:40:05.000 You gotta have better control.

02:40:07.000 How dare you?

02:40:07.000 That's what they say.

02:40:07.000 You just gotta have better control.

02:40:08.000 What do you think?

02:40:09.000 I'm looking at this, and it didn't look intentional to me.

02:40:12.000 I mean, you could definitely argue that it's not intentional.

02:40:16.000 I mean, it seems like the guy is sliding, and he's on top of him already.

02:40:21.000 He's gotta kinda roll with it.

02:40:23.000 Do you think he knew that he was hitting him in the face?

02:40:26.000 Not one.

02:40:27.000 We were just literally just talking about that specific one.

02:40:29.000 You can see him throw out his elbow, so it looks like he's doing a little bit extra with the elbow.

02:40:33.000 But then they'll get into arbitration things like they also do with some of the MMA things.

02:40:37.000 They'll have lawyers argue some of this stuff out. 0.86

02:40:40.000 So what happened with that Tom Brady situation, it drug out for two years, and they finally just took his four-game suspension.

02:40:46.000 See, I don't know, man.

02:40:47.000 It's hard to say.

02:40:48.000 Now the problem we're having is Joe Rogan.

02:40:49.000 Okay, I go back and I look at my high school.

02:40:52.000 I look at the kids I grew up for those four years.

02:40:55.000 I knew how they practiced.

02:40:57.000 I knew how they worked out.

02:40:58.000 And I knew how they hit each other.

02:41:00.000 Okay? 1.00

02:41:01.000 And then some of them went on to college and did what the fuck they had to do. 1.00

02:41:05.000 Are any of them fucked up today? 1.00

02:41:07.000 Oh yeah. 0.99

02:41:08.000 Whatever.

02:41:09.000 Maybe drugs.

02:41:10.000 Head to head.

02:41:12.000 That dude head to head KO'd that guy. 0.95

02:41:14.000 So what?

02:41:14.000 You know why five kids went out at your friend's high school game?

02:41:18.000 You know why?

02:41:19.000 Why?

02:41:20.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:41:21.000 Now we're bread and buttering them.

02:41:23.000 Show that one again.

02:41:24.000 And they're not used to getting hit no more.

02:41:26.000 We're bread and buttering?

02:41:27.000 What do you mean?

02:41:28.000 We're putting doubts in their heads.

02:41:29.000 So even at practice, we're just going like this now.

02:41:32.000 We're just going like this.

02:41:33.000 It's like when you and I go to a karate competition and it's...

02:41:40.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:41:42.000 Oh, my God.

02:41:43.000 This is horrible.

02:41:44.000 This one's horrible.

02:41:46.000 Boom! 0.99

02:41:47.000 Look how, like, his body goes backwards.

02:41:48.000 He's unconscious.

02:41:50.000 Oh my god.

02:41:55.000 Boom! 0.99

02:41:56.000 His head... 1.00

02:41:56.000 Oh, when the helmet goes off, you know you're fucked, right? 1.00

02:41:58.000 That's a headache. 1.00

02:41:59.000 That's visions.

02:42:00.000 That's Japanese people yelling in the night. 0.98

02:42:03.000 That's what you hear in the middle of the night.

02:42:05.000 Look at him, man.

02:42:07.000 Out cold.

02:42:07.000 No, you need to be a parent and watching this on TV at any level.

02:42:10.000 No.

02:42:11.000 That's what I don't like about this.

02:42:13.000 He's snoring.

02:42:14.000 Out cold.

02:42:15.000 That is...

02:42:16.000 Look at this.

02:42:17.000 Kadoom! 0.99

02:42:18.000 Oh, my God.

02:42:20.000 He took it to the temple sideways, head to head. 1.00

02:42:23.000 Now, that kind of shit. 1.00

02:42:24.000 Is that on purpose? 1.00

02:42:26.000 That's a head.

02:42:27.000 That's football.

02:42:28.000 Yeah, that was the shoulder.

02:42:29.000 That's kind of what you're taught to do.

02:42:30.000 That's what you're taught to do.

02:42:31.000 So just part of the consequences of...

02:42:34.000 Big giant guys running around.

02:42:35.000 Oh, it was his shoulders that hit him.

02:42:37.000 So I thought it was head-to-head.

02:42:38.000 Look at his waist, Joe Roman.

02:42:40.000 Look at his back.

02:42:41.000 Look how everything twisted.

02:42:42.000 It's not just the head contact.

02:42:44.000 It's that spine contact.

02:42:46.000 That's what makes... 1.00

02:42:46.000 All together, you just see a fucking bolt of lightning and shit. 1.00

02:42:50.000 Look at that spine contact. 1.00

02:42:51.000 His whole thing twisted.

02:42:52.000 That's why he put his arms up.

02:42:54.000 Is that the guy that got knocked out that was sitting there with the dreadlocks on?

02:42:58.000 Shitty editing in this video. 1.00

02:42:59.000 They've fucked with me twice. 0.99

02:43:00.000 I was going to show you the next... 0.99

02:43:01.000 This is what the alternative to this is right now.

02:43:04.000 There's some tackle non-pad leagues.

02:43:08.000 And so there's seven on seven.

02:43:09.000 There's less guys running around.

02:43:11.000 I don't know that anybody wants to pay to watch this though.

02:43:13.000 This is the problem.

02:43:16.000 Well, the idea used to be that...

02:43:20.000 Having pads was good for you and having helmets is good for you.

02:43:24.000 But now they're thinking that it's not and that you're going to do things like that where you wouldn't do those kind of things. 1.00

02:43:30.000 Joe Rogan, we're going back to your fucking brain argument. 0.99

02:43:33.000 If the brain doubled in two million years or whatever the fucking thing, our strength also doubled. 1.00

02:43:41.000 The things that we're able to do with our bodies also doubled. 0.98

02:43:44.000 And even though you're a well-conditioned football player and you're prepared for hits like this, you're not prepared for me if I'm fucking deadlifting 750. And I'm doing certain exercises to make my hits even better.

02:43:58.000 Because there's some guy like the guys we talk about, like the trainers we talk about, that are working on specific movements.

02:44:05.000 Like they worked on specific movements for MMA. We were talking about like Joey Alvarado works on the Turkish getup.

02:44:12.000 Well, there's people now in football that have said, you know what, I've been watching football for 20 years.

02:44:17.000 And this is the workout I'm implying. 0.96

02:44:19.000 And this makes a guy like you at 20, fucking 22, you're the strongest you've ever been. 0.98

02:44:25.000 24, you're out of college. 0.99

02:44:27.000 You're bench pressing 350, 350, even if you're fucking 185. You're bench pressing now in high school, 325. It's not what it used to be, 285, the national average of these. 0.86

02:44:39.000 Go ahead.

02:44:39.000 Look at the results of these combines 20 years ago, 30 years ago, and what these kids are doing now.

02:44:45.000 Speed-wise, strength-wise, flexibility-wise.

02:44:48.000 So there's a guy that has broken down the kinesiology of a football hit, okay?

02:44:53.000 Right.

02:44:54.000 And maybe put it in a workout.

02:44:56.000 I'm hitting you double than what I used to hit you.

02:44:58.000 What?

02:45:00.000 930-pound squat by a Texas high school junior.

02:45:04.000 This is what I'm talking about.

02:45:05.000 That's a junior in high school?

02:45:07.000 They've improved form.

02:45:08.000 They've improved 7 foot, 440 pounds.

02:45:13.000 Okay?

02:45:14.000 You know.

02:45:14.000 That's insane.

02:45:15.000 We've grown.

02:45:16.000 He's so big.

02:45:16.000 And, okay, 50 years ago, a 7 foot guy couldn't walk around.

02:45:21.000 Okay?

02:45:22.000 Now he's playing basketball.

02:45:23.000 He's agile.

02:45:25.000 For years, a 7 foot guy couldn't put weight on. 1.00

02:45:28.000 Look at that fucking kid. 1.00

02:45:29.000 Look at this. 1.00

02:45:30.000 The biggest football player we've ever seen.

02:45:33.000 Wow.

02:45:34.000 He's in high school.

02:45:37.000 He's going to get paid.

02:45:38.000 They're bringing him cars already.

02:45:40.000 Oh yeah, he's going to get paid.

02:45:42.000 They're bringing him women in a car with a trunk prepared already. 1.00

02:45:46.000 We guys are going to shoot him and put him in the trunk and say, we'll see you and bring him young. 0.97

02:45:50.000 That guy has to be the mountain for Halloween, right? 0.99

02:45:52.000 No, why would you be anything else? 1.00

02:45:54.000 I would just have fucking armor. 0.99

02:45:55.000 Just different outfits that the mountain wears. 1.00

02:45:58.000 No, just like the brain has grown, we've gotten stronger.

02:46:02.000 We've gotten way stronger.

02:46:04.000 Our workouts for particular things have gotten more focused.

02:46:09.000 Is that what you more pinpoint for what you're doing, for what exercise?

02:46:13.000 Well, they understand what's beneficial and what's different.

02:46:15.000 Yeah.

02:46:15.000 So they also understand when you're recovering.

02:46:17.000 We're hitting harder than ever, Jack.

02:46:18.000 Yeah.

02:46:19.000 And guess what?

02:46:20.000 In 20 years, we're going to be hitting even harder. 1.00

02:46:22.000 You're going to see jaws flying right off the fucking face. 1.00

02:46:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:46:25.000 In some MMA fight, you're going to see a jaw just snap open in a hole in the side of somebody's head. 0.97

02:46:30.000 Because somebody's going to be hitting that much fucking harder. 0.60

02:46:33.000 You know, 30 years ago, look at this. 0.98

02:46:35.000 You know, they were hitting in the 70s.

02:46:39.000 But...

02:46:40.000 Well, what's interesting to me is when you start talking about the brain getting bigger and bodies getting faster... 0.99

02:46:46.000 That dude was a killer. 0.99

02:46:47.000 That dude was a killer. 1.00

02:46:49.000 I do as a kill, straight up. 0.95

02:46:50.000 What's interesting to me about these athletes getting better and faster and stronger and brains getting bigger is I wonder what it's going to be like.

02:46:58.000 You know, they talk about the human brain doubled over two million years.

02:47:01.000 Why would we assume that that's stopped?

02:47:04.000 You know, maybe it's just a long, long, long process of Brain getting bigger, people getting bigger, people getting stronger, people getting faster.

02:47:12.000 What's the performance of a person going to look like?

02:47:14.000 If it's increased that much since the 1960s, have we reached a bottleneck, like a physical bottleneck, and we'll be able to fix that with genetic engineering?

02:47:22.000 Well, now we're pointing on being even stronger and faster, though.

02:47:28.000 Yeah.

02:47:29.000 I know, but this is where USADA, that whole USADA thing gets real interesting.

02:47:34.000 And they're doing a noble pursuit, right?

02:47:36.000 They're trying to clean up the game, stop all the cheaters, people getting popped left and right.

02:47:40.000 I go on the underground news section at mixedmartialarts.com and every couple days some new person's flagged.

02:47:47.000 You find out this guy got flagged, that guy got flagged.

02:47:50.000 So they're catching people for sure, but what are they going to do?

02:47:53.000 What are they going to do when science starts stepping in? 0.55

02:47:58.000 And improving people, you know? 0.82

02:48:00.000 I mean, it seems to me like it's pretty fucking inevitable.

02:48:05.000 I mean, right now, in mixed martial arts, let's just take the UFC for example. 0.99

02:48:09.000 If I was a manager, I'd tell my client, listen, I don't give a fuck what you're thinking. 0.99

02:48:13.000 Please don't embarrass me. 0.99

02:48:15.000 They're gonna catch you. 0.99

02:48:17.000 Yeah, but fighters don't want to be honest about that kind of shit. 0.99

02:48:19.000 I know, but you know what? 0.99

02:48:20.000 As a man to man, they're going to catch you, bro.

02:48:23.000 You might be them this time. 1.00

02:48:25.000 I know a lot of motherfuckers were dead, but they're going to catch you. 0.99

02:48:28.000 And they're going to catch you at a time when you don't need it. 1.00

02:48:31.000 You know what's interesting?

02:48:33.000 Apparently they don't know how to spot human growth hormone very well.

02:48:36.000 It's like speculative whether or not they could catch people doing that.

02:48:39.000 That might be one of the reasons why they're holding piss and blood for so long.

02:48:43.000 They hold your sample for like nine years.

02:48:46.000 They freeze it.

02:48:47.000 So as the tests get better and better and better, they pull things back. 0.74

02:48:50.000 And then, you know, if you're still competing, they'll fucking fine you and suspend you five, six years from now. 1.00

02:48:56.000 That is the fucking kinkiest shit. 1.00

02:48:58.000 You're gonna hold my piss for nine fucking years. 1.00

02:49:02.000 What type of freaky motherfucker are you? 1.00

02:49:04.000 What do you think is going to pop in there? 1.00

02:49:05.000 Well, they already got rid of two Olympic gold medalists from Russia.

02:49:09.000 Two wrestlers in 2008. They both pissed positive for something where they tested negative then.

02:49:15.000 They held on to their sample and now the screenings got much better and they just caught them.

02:49:20.000 They removed their gold medal.

02:49:22.000 Two Olympic medalists.

02:49:24.000 Gold medalists.

02:49:24.000 You can't have no fun no more.

02:49:26.000 Studs, too.

02:49:26.000 You look at them, you're like, how's that guy on steroids?

02:49:29.000 Should've just assumed.

02:49:31.000 These Russians, man, they have a different thing going on over there. 0.99

02:49:34.000 That's state-sponsored.

02:49:35.000 No one's trying to cover that up.

02:49:38.000 That's what they do.

02:49:41.000 That's one of the reasons why they came that close to getting kicked out of the Olympics in Rio.

02:49:45.000 They were talking about kicking the entire Russian team out of the Olympics. 1.00

02:49:48.000 It's like, you fucking people have state-sponsored doping. 0.99

02:49:53.000 And I think their eyes is like, everybody's doing it. 1.00

02:49:56.000 Fuck it. 1.00

02:49:56.000 Let's just do it the right way. 1.00

02:50:02.000 So they just grow you into it.

02:50:04.000 I don't know.

02:50:06.000 You get to a certain age, you're a bodybuilder.

02:50:08.000 Let's say you get to a certain age and you're a wrestler.

02:50:11.000 At a certain age, they just make you go somewhere.

02:50:14.000 It's like Cuba. 0.59

02:50:15.000 I think there's probably some of that going on.

02:50:17.000 No, no, there's always some of that going on.

02:50:19.000 They make you go somewhere and the doctors check you out and they give you shots.

02:50:22.000 They tell you they're vitamins. 1.00

02:50:24.000 They'll tell you everything that you fucking... 0.99

02:50:27.000 What's this guy? 1.00

02:50:28.000 Is this another one?

02:50:28.000 This is one.

02:50:30.000 This is one of them?

02:50:30.000 One of the two wrestlers.

02:50:31.000 Oh, this guy got stripped of a bronze medal.

02:50:33.000 Another guy got stripped of a gold.

02:50:34.000 If it's state run, they level with you and it's Russian. 0.86

02:50:37.000 They don't even level with you.

02:50:39.000 What date is this?

02:50:40.000 When did this article come out, Jamie?

02:50:44.000 Is it recent?

02:50:45.000 No, actually.

02:50:46.000 I lost it.

02:50:47.000 Anyway, point is...

02:50:48.000 It's from 2012. Yeah, there's two guys that they just did it to from the 2008 Olympics.

02:50:56.000 And I'm pretty sure they were both gold medalists.

02:51:00.000 But, you know, it's like we were talking about with USADA earlier.

02:51:04.000 It's a weird business, man.

02:51:07.000 Weird business.

02:51:09.000 But, you know, fighting's a weird business.

02:51:11.000 That's why, you know, you look at that Floyd Mayweather gym fight thing.

02:51:15.000 What other sport would they make you have a basketball game to the death?

02:51:20.000 Like, no time limits, no scoring points.

02:51:22.000 You just rack it up.

02:51:24.000 Just keep going.

02:51:26.000 Just keep going.

02:51:27.000 You know, there's periods.

02:51:29.000 Like, everybody plays by rules.

02:51:30.000 Not boxing.

02:51:33.000 Like, it's a compelling thing to have a 30-minute round. 1.00

02:51:38.000 You could die doing that kind of shit. 1.00

02:51:39.000 Like, that is how people can die. 1.00

02:51:41.000 Well, that's how that shit gets exposed, for real. 1.00

02:51:43.000 Once somebody dies. 1.00

02:51:44.000 Oh, yeah.

02:51:44.000 Easily.

02:51:44.000 Can you imagine if they tested comedians?

02:51:47.000 Oh, my God.

02:51:48.000 Drug-tested comedians.

02:51:49.000 Like, certain chains, like the improv, or the punchlines, like, chains that have, like, five clubs said, listen, we gotta drug test you a week before you come into our club to make sure that, you know, can you imagine that? 0.96

02:52:02.000 Ridiculous.

02:52:02.000 If it ever got to any level, saw it like this.

02:52:04.000 I'm not even worried about me.

02:52:06.000 I'm just saying...

02:52:07.000 You know, just the general.

02:52:09.000 I'm worried about you.

02:52:10.000 Really?

02:52:11.000 You're not worried about me? 1.00

02:52:13.000 Fuck no. 1.00

02:52:14.000 If they start testing for drugs, I'm not worried about you. 1.00

02:52:17.000 I'm terrified for you.

02:52:19.000 Why?

02:52:19.000 We just smoke reefer.

02:52:20.000 That's it.

02:52:20.000 Yeah, but that's a drug.

02:52:21.000 What are you going to do?

02:52:22.000 If it's like UPS, what if like...

02:52:24.000 Oh my God.

02:52:26.000 Honestly, you know what could have happened?

02:52:29.000 Okay.

02:52:30.000 You know what could have happened?

02:52:31.000 All they would have to do is say something like, maybe someone was really high and they were on stage and they said something really ridiculous and the club got sued. 1.00

02:52:41.000 And so they'd say, we now have a no marijuana policy because the guy was on that fucking devil's cabbage and he said some ridiculous shit and our club got sued. 1.00

02:52:50.000 That's all it would take. 1.00

02:52:51.000 For like one big chain, like maybe Yuck Yucks or the Improv or something like that, they just decided, we do not care what you do in your own time, but we require, when you work for us, that you have a marijuana metabolite level of less than whatever the fuck it is. 0.96

02:53:09.000 So, alright, they would test you when you got to town? 0.91

02:53:13.000 They'd have to test you beforehand?

02:53:16.000 They'd just show up at your house like USADA? A week before you got to the gig, they show up at your house like USADA, and then once you get there, they're gonna test you again, or do I have the whole weekend to get out?

02:53:28.000 They're gonna test you again at the end of the week to determine whether or not you have violated their laws. 0.99

02:53:34.000 Those tests are expensive as fuck. 0.95

02:53:37.000 Are the pot ones like from Quest Diagnostics? 1.00

02:53:40.000 That's like a thousand bucks, I think.

02:53:42.000 Which one's the one over the counter at the pharmacy?

02:53:44.000 No, no, no.

02:53:44.000 You go to Quest Diagnostics.

02:53:45.000 That's completely different.

02:53:47.000 That's what UFC uses.

02:53:50.000 I don't think it's that much.

02:53:51.000 I don't know.

02:53:51.000 I'm just guessing.

02:53:52.000 So you're going to cost me two grand just to come into my fucking club. 0.99

02:53:55.000 Just to make sure the improv doesn't get sued, sir. 0.99

02:53:57.000 Eight grand a month.

02:53:59.000 You've said some very defamatory things in the past about Mother Teresa.

02:54:04.000 A hundred thousand a year in piss tests.

02:54:08.000 $100,000 a year costs you a company.

02:54:10.000 You're a very controversial man, Joey Diaz, and the business that we're in here at The Improv is providing with families with laughter, okay?

02:54:18.000 Some of the things that you said, you know, quite honestly, I believe in freedom of speech, but I find it offensive.

02:54:23.000 Now, okay, so now we got nowhere to run but to go to the rock clubs and do comedy.

02:54:30.000 Well, when you go to the rock club, then it's cool because you're your own promoter.

02:54:33.000 That's like fighting in Japan.

02:54:37.000 Well, that's what Stan Hope did.

02:54:38.000 Yeah, that's like fighting in Japan. 1.00

02:54:39.000 Fuck it. 1.00

02:54:40.000 I'll fight in Japan. 1.00

02:54:41.000 Fuck you motherfuckers. 1.00

02:54:42.000 Hey, you coming in on this election night thing that Stan Hope and I are doing? 1.00

02:54:47.000 I don't know.

02:54:47.000 You said something the other day.

02:54:49.000 It's like a live podcast.

02:54:49.000 We're just going to hang out.

02:54:51.000 We're at the main room?

02:54:52.000 Yeah, in the main room.

02:54:53.000 What we're going to do is we're going to look at the results.

02:54:54.000 We're going to have like a laptop or something that streams the results. 0.99

02:54:58.000 And we're going to just talk some shit while the election's going on. 0.99

02:55:03.000 Most likely, it will have nothing to do with the fucking election. 0.99

02:55:06.000 Can I just tell you one thing, dog? 0.99

02:55:09.000 Yes, please. 0.94

02:55:09.000 You know I'm a criminal. 0.94

02:55:10.000 Yes, you can vote.

02:55:11.000 Not proud, it happened. 1.00

02:55:12.000 No, I can't vote, but that Hillary's a criminal, dog. 1.00

02:55:16.000 Well, they did reopen the investigation into her email servers. 0.99

02:55:20.000 No, I'm not even talking about that stuff. 1.00

02:55:21.000 She's been a criminal for fucking 20 years. 1.00

02:55:23.000 Trump ain't no better. 1.00

02:55:24.000 We're in a bad position.

02:55:25.000 Again, I got no dog in this fight. 0.99

02:55:28.000 This is from an honest fucking book. 0.99

02:55:29.000 Who do you prefer out of those two? 0.99

02:55:34.000 I really wanted Bernie Sanders to come back. 0.98

02:55:36.000 I don't know if Bernie was the best choice, but if we could keep him around for three years, shoot him, and then come up with a fucking good present like somebody pops up. 0.99

02:55:45.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

02:55:46.000 Like we shoot Bernie Sanders. 0.99

02:55:48.000 If they shot Bernie Sanders, he would be... 0.99

02:55:50.000 I've just heard... 1.00

02:55:51.000 I read some New York Times thing about a week ago about arms that are Clinton Foundation sold and shit. 0.97

02:55:58.000 Well, it's not that direct. 0.98

02:56:01.000 It's very complicated.

02:56:02.000 It's people who were donors to the Clinton Foundation, received deals. 0.99

02:56:08.000 Didn't my man Ollie North get in trouble for shit like this? 0.95

02:56:11.000 No, Ollie North got in trouble for, that was when the Sandinistas were fighting the Contras and they were shipping arms illegally to those people. 0.98

02:56:19.000 They were providing arms illegally.

02:56:20.000 These are emails about arms, right?

02:56:22.000 I don't know what the emails are about.

02:56:24.000 But there's a lot of them.

02:56:26.000 30,000 emails that got deleted after a subpoena.

02:56:29.000 Right.

02:56:30.000 And you know, the crazy thing is...

02:56:33.000 One of the weird things that's going on with this election is that everybody loves that a woman, like they're looking at the bright side of things, right?

02:56:40.000 They're trying to look at the bright side. 0.85

02:56:41.000 They think it's gonna be Lilith fuckin' Fair. 0.92

02:56:43.000 And it's not gonna be no Lilith fuckin' Fair. 0.98

02:56:46.000 This ain't no chicks with guitars and bare feet. 1.00

02:56:48.000 That wench bag is 180, alright? 0.99

02:56:51.000 And she's going straight to the clutches of hell. 0.99

02:56:53.000 Do you understand me?

02:56:54.000 Straight to the clutches of hell. 1.00

02:56:56.000 Her crooked husband. 0.99

02:56:58.000 The night she gets into the White House, the lights will all turn red. 0.98

02:57:01.000 Oh my God.

02:57:01.000 You'll hear, like, satanic music playing, and the earth will shake.

02:57:05.000 And Trump ain't no better.

02:57:05.000 Trump ain't no better.

02:57:06.000 But you also gotta remember one thing about this fucking moron, okay? 1.00

02:57:09.000 Because I've been thinking about it from an objective point of view. 1.00

02:57:12.000 I'm no fucking Phi Beta Kappa. 0.98

02:57:14.000 He's not a politician, bro. 0.98

02:57:16.000 He was never really a politician.

02:57:18.000 I mean, he should not even be encouraged to do something like this.

02:57:22.000 Right. 1.00

02:57:22.000 So the shit he's talking about, you know, grabbing people's pussies, the thing that pissed me off the most about that shit, you know how many times I've seen a woman with a big fucking 60-pound monkey walking at me when I'm outside, and I said to myself, I would grab that motherfucker right now. 1.00

02:57:39.000 LAUGHTER Bro, when I was a sophomore in high school, I had this Italian girl in my class that wore clogs. 1.00

02:57:46.000 She was a little on the heavy side, but she was beautiful. 1.00

02:57:49.000 This girl could stop a fucking clock. 1.00

02:57:51.000 She was so beautiful. 1.00

02:57:53.000 But her little monkey weighed like 70 pounds when she was a sophomore.

02:57:57.000 And she sat behind me, and I just went to school just to look at her monkey. 0.99

02:58:01.000 I didn't give a fuck about the rest of the day. 1.00

02:58:02.000 I hadn't even seen the vagina at this time. 1.00

02:58:06.000 But through her fucking pants, you had to see this fucking monster. 1.00

02:58:11.000 As she walked past you, you would hear her go... 1.00

02:58:15.000 Me and my buddy...

02:58:16.000 Like one of those Halloween decorations and senses when you're close to it?

02:58:20.000 Me and my buddy Stinky would collaborate.

02:58:21.000 Did you see it yet?

02:58:22.000 Yeah, I saw.

02:58:23.000 All right. 1.00

02:58:23.000 That means what a pussy looked like. 1.00

02:58:25.000 Like right through the jeans, it was just a mountain. 1.00

02:58:28.000 It was just a fucking mountain. 1.00

02:58:30.000 Wow. 1.00

02:58:31.000 And I remember her walking by me going, what would it take for me to have the balls to just fucking grab it and just hold on to that savage for a minute because it was beautiful. 0.99

02:58:40.000 But the difference is... 0.99

02:58:40.000 But I didn't grab it. 0.99

02:58:41.000 How old were you?

02:58:42.000 13 going until 11. He was 60. Oh, okay.

02:58:48.000 I get it.

02:58:50.000 Oh, my God.

02:59:00.000 You know, Billy Burr was on...

02:59:01.000 I was actually on his podcast the other day, and we were talking about it.

02:59:05.000 And, you know, we were saying, like, we've heard worse.

02:59:09.000 We've heard worse from friends that are trying to make each other laugh. 0.99

02:59:12.000 And you're saying shit that's not true. 0.99

02:59:14.000 And I said, Joey Diaz would say something way worse than that, and he would be crying laughing. 0.99

02:59:19.000 Oh, my God.

02:59:19.000 It doesn't mean that you're out actually grabbing girls' pussies, but you would say...

02:59:23.000 If her feet look like mine, I'll fucking stab her. 1.00

02:59:26.000 Like, you would say something, like, you know... 1.00

02:59:29.000 You know, the other day I was someone I told Sam, not Sam Trippley, the other guy, Steve Simone.

02:59:34.000 I go, you see that girl? 1.00

02:59:35.000 How old are you now?

02:59:36.000 48, whatever.

02:59:37.000 I'm 53. You're never gonna see that ever again.

02:59:41.000 Have you ever seen like a nice looking couple now?

02:59:43.000 Like he's 26 and she's 22 and they're both beautiful. 0.99

02:59:46.000 She got perky little tits. 1.00

02:59:48.000 She's banging her legs a suntan. 1.00

02:59:51.000 And you're thinking to yourself, this little young savage must be going home tearing that pussy up. 1.00

02:59:55.000 And you think back to your little 26-year-old in the afternoons where you take him home and rub him down and give him a good stab. 1.00

03:00:01.000 You come like three times, the whole fucking thing. 0.99

03:00:04.000 That never happens no more. 0.99

03:00:06.000 Like at this stage, you look at that and go, that'll never happen.

03:00:10.000 You ever think of that?

03:00:17.000 Yeah.

03:00:18.000 Yeah.

03:00:18.000 The other day, all these guys are like, look at that young girl.

03:00:21.000 And I'm going, look at her.

03:00:22.000 Look at it.

03:00:23.000 That'll never happen again in my world.

03:00:25.000 Ever.

03:00:25.000 I will never see a woman naked like that ever again.

03:00:28.000 Let me tell you a story about my friend Jay.

03:00:30.000 My friend Jay has a friend who's a Texas oil millionaire.

03:00:36.000 Like, he bought a ranch.

03:00:38.000 He bought a hunting ranch, like, to go hunt deer on it.

03:00:41.000 That's all he does.

03:00:42.000 Guy's 62. Guy's never had a kid, okay?

03:00:45.000 And, uh...

03:00:46.000 I think he's been married and divorced.

03:00:49.000 Maybe never married.

03:00:50.000 Might be never married, never had a kid. 1.00

03:00:52.000 Doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

03:00:54.000 Like literally doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

03:00:56.000 And every couple years, you know, however long it takes, he's got some new 24-year-old perfect girlfriend. 0.99

03:01:06.000 And he just buys them a bunch of shit, takes them places, and then eventually they're like, I can't do this anymore. 0.97

03:01:11.000 He's like, well, y'all take care. 0.99

03:01:13.000 And he just goes and gets them another one.

03:01:15.000 And he's like, I want you to come meet the new one. 0.96

03:01:17.000 But this guy is the quintessential crazy Texas oil man.

03:01:22.000 So this guy goes to Africa. 0.86

03:01:25.000 And he goes, what'd you do over in Africa? 0.99

03:01:28.000 I was like, shit, we went hunting. 1.00

03:01:29.000 He goes, what'd you shoot? 1.00

03:01:31.000 He goes, Noah's Ark.

03:01:32.000 Two of everything.

03:01:33.000 So he just goes up.

03:01:35.000 He stayed over in Africa for a month just shooting things with this 24-year-old girl he was banging.

03:01:42.000 How old is he?

03:01:43.000 62. Can you imagine?

03:01:45.000 He had a bunch of different bypasses, too.

03:01:51.000 He's had more than one heart bypass. 1.00

03:01:54.000 Like, he's fucked. 1.00

03:01:55.000 Like, he ain't got much time left. 1.00

03:01:57.000 This guy's just partying on.

03:02:00.000 Woo! 1.00

03:02:01.000 I think if I saw a pussy younger than 30, I would have a bypass. 1.00

03:02:05.000 Right there, my heart would split open. 1.00

03:02:07.000 I don't want to see it.

03:02:08.000 I don't.

03:02:09.000 Like, I don't.

03:02:10.000 I'm done.

03:02:11.000 Where would you have the energy to keep up with that? 1.00

03:02:13.000 Like, all you 22-year-olds that want to fuck like rabbits, you don't have mortgages? 0.99

03:02:18.000 I mean, all you have to do is be awake when you show up for work. 1.00

03:02:21.000 So that's your responsibility when you're 22, unless you fucked up horribly and got yourself into some real serious position of responsibility.

03:02:28.000 But most of us at 22, you know, you barely, you show up for work, if you got fired, you're trying to get another job anyway, you're already thinking about quitting.

03:02:36.000 So when you're home, and you're home with some girls also 22, you gotta just...

03:02:40.000 Two buzz saws just chewing up a piece of wood.

03:02:45.000 It's chaos. 0.99

03:02:46.000 Just chopping through your own young angst, trying to get rid of cum. 0.99

03:02:52.000 It's crazy. 0.99

03:02:53.000 That'll never happen again, Trevor.

03:02:55.000 Never happen again, though.

03:02:56.000 Well, it might, but it's not going to happen in this life.

03:02:59.000 No.

03:02:59.000 It might happen all over again.

03:03:02.000 Like I said, I don't even want to see a vagina if it's under 40 anymore. 1.00

03:03:05.000 It would give me a heart attack. 0.99

03:03:06.000 I don't need that in my life.

03:03:08.000 You know what I've been thinking about a lot lately?

03:03:12.000 Why so many cultures think about reincarnation?

03:03:15.000 Why so many cultures believe you do this over and over and over again?

03:03:19.000 Why so many people think you come back?

03:03:22.000 It's like, you know, the idea that we live and we die, that's what someone who's an atheist wants, you believe.

03:03:30.000 You're born and you die, and they might be right. 1.00

03:03:32.000 I don't know who's right or who's wrong.

03:03:34.000 But it is kind of fucking weird that so many different cultures have this idea that you live again.

03:03:42.000 What if you just keep doing this? 0.94

03:03:44.000 Would that freak you out?

03:03:46.000 Like, I'm enjoying life, right?

03:03:48.000 But why is the prospect of doing this over and over again forever?

03:03:53.000 Like, what if you had to live your childhood? 0.98

03:03:55.000 Like, your childhood, Joey, was a very tumultuous and crazy fucking childhood, but it made you you. 0.77

03:04:04.000 If you knew that you had to start all over again, and you were gonna close your eyes for the last time, and you're gonna wake up in that hospital room in North Bergen, New Jersey, or in Cuba, And you can do the whole thing again. 0.97

03:04:18.000 The same way.

03:04:19.000 Same way.

03:04:20.000 Oh my god.

03:04:21.000 You gotta get it right.

03:04:23.000 You keep doing it with variations, subtle variations.

03:04:27.000 Nah, I come back like as a bird this time.

03:04:29.000 That's what they do. 1.00

03:04:30.000 They fuck with you for a couple times. 1.00

03:04:31.000 They bring you back as an alligator, you get run over in Florida. 1.00

03:04:34.000 Then they bring you back as a fucking bird, like a parakeet, and the cat gets you. 1.00

03:04:39.000 And then you come back as a human. 1.00

03:04:41.000 Yeah.

03:04:42.000 And then you start all over again.

03:04:43.000 Then there's times in your life where you think, I've been here before.

03:04:47.000 I've seen this before.

03:04:49.000 Something.

03:04:50.000 And that's what I feel about reincarnation.

03:04:53.000 I don't know.

03:04:54.000 I don't know either.

03:04:55.000 Sometimes I've been at places and I've been here before.

03:04:57.000 But then again, you have to think about what scientists believe.

03:05:00.000 That life is just an illusion.

03:05:02.000 That the patterns that we see are just created in our mind. 0.99

03:05:05.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.99

03:05:06.000 I'm having a good time. 0.99

03:05:08.000 The reefer calms me down.

03:05:09.000 Yeah.

03:05:10.000 You know what I'm saying?

03:05:11.000 What else?

03:05:11.000 We're doing comedy.

03:05:12.000 We're healthy.

03:05:13.000 We're having fun. 0.98

03:05:14.000 We're still fucking here. 0.99

03:05:16.000 Picking at the vine, like, you know, guys have come and fucking gone, you know? 0.99

03:05:20.000 Oh, yeah. 0.92

03:05:21.000 So how lucky am I? Do you think I'm gonna sit here and think about fucking going to Mars with Elon? 0.98

03:05:26.000 I'm not sure. 0.99

03:05:27.000 Is that his name, Elon?

03:05:28.000 Elon Musk.

03:05:29.000 That's my dog.

03:05:29.000 Dude, we've known each other for almost 20 years.

03:05:31.000 20 years.

03:05:32.000 Has it been 20?

03:05:33.000 It might be 20. This January, I'll be in LA for 20, which means I met you March of next year.

03:05:42.000 I landed in LA January 20th, and do you know I was a regular at the store February 19th?

03:05:49.000 Wow.

03:05:50.000 On my birthday.

03:05:50.000 That was my only ever claim to fame in this town.

03:05:54.000 I was here.

03:05:55.000 Stan Hope referred me.

03:05:56.000 I did 7. She told me, come back next week.

03:05:59.000 And she made me a regular.

03:06:01.000 It was like written in a movie.

03:06:03.000 I showed up at the Comedy Store Monday night.

03:06:05.000 I had an 11.30.

03:06:06.000 At 11.25, Eddie Griffin said, do you mind if I do 10 minutes in front of you? 0.99

03:06:11.000 And that was my Comedy Store debut and shit. 0.97

03:06:14.000 How much time did he do? 0.99

03:06:15.000 He went right till 10 to 2. He would do like three hours.

03:06:20.000 He would do three fucking hours. 1.00

03:06:22.000 But still, that's what kept me here, was that stupid fucking comedy store, brother. 1.00

03:06:27.000 How great is that? 1.00

03:06:28.000 I just walked in there.

03:06:29.000 Stan Hope, I've introduced myself to Scott Day.

03:06:32.000 Wow.

03:06:33.000 Stan Hope said to me, it's a six-week minimal wait.

03:06:37.000 I called in for you.

03:06:39.000 I had three people call in for me, I think.

03:06:41.000 And he was one of them.

03:06:43.000 They believed Stan Hope the most.

03:06:44.000 And they called me on a Friday, dog.

03:06:47.000 I said, you're going up in front of Mitzi Sunday at 9, whatever.

03:06:51.000 Have three minutes ready. 0.99

03:06:52.000 And I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

03:06:54.000 I thought I had to wait till April. 1.00

03:06:57.000 Wow.

03:06:57.000 They're like, no, there was an opening on the list.

03:06:59.000 Go down there.

03:07:01.000 We've seen a lot of guys come and go.

03:07:03.000 You ever go down...

03:07:04.000 One of the cool things about the Comedy Store, one of the coolest things, is that the walls are like a museum.

03:07:10.000 Like, literally like a comedy museum.

03:07:12.000 There is no comedy museum.

03:07:13.000 So for us, the comedy museums are the walls of places like the Punchline.

03:07:18.000 You know, like when you go to an older club.

03:07:20.000 Nashville, Zanies.

03:07:21.000 Zanies in Nashville is the best example. 1.00

03:07:23.000 They got fucking pictures that will make your jaw drop. 1.00

03:07:26.000 Yep, yep. 1.00

03:07:27.000 People that aren't even alive anymore.

03:07:28.000 People that were really big and they just stopped.

03:07:31.000 Tom Arnold is a one-nighter out of Iowa.

03:07:34.000 Like, when you go to rooms in Wyoming, Cribble Runs, which are one-nighters, that's different than a stationary comedy club for people at home.

03:07:42.000 That means that a bar in a certain town just does comedy on Tuesday nights every night.

03:07:48.000 I went to a place in Rivetson, Wyoming and they had pictures of Roseanne and Tom Arnold together when they first started going on the road together.

03:07:57.000 He had been in the business for a long time.

03:07:59.000 That's when they were out of Denver?

03:08:00.000 Out of Denver, yeah.

03:08:02.000 Out of Minneapolis.

03:08:03.000 I thought she was married to somebody else. 0.91

03:08:05.000 Yes, and then they got a divorce and she left and I think she went to Minneapolis for a while and toured with him.

03:08:10.000 I don't know how it panned out.

03:08:12.000 Wow.

03:08:13.000 You know, that's one of the sad things about when a comedy club closes down.

03:08:16.000 You lose that museum.

03:08:17.000 Like, there used to be the Laugh Stop in River Oaks had pictures of Stan Hope when he bad long, luxurious hair.

03:08:24.000 Remember when Stan Hope had, like, Fabio hair?

03:08:29.000 Stan Hope used to wear an overcoat and he had long hair.

03:08:33.000 And I remember, like, I think I had heard that he didn't even have a place to live.

03:08:37.000 No, he looked at his car.

03:08:39.000 And then his car got broken into the finals of the San Francisco comedy competition.

03:08:45.000 Oh, really? 0.99

03:08:46.000 And he went and bought, like, a secondhand suit and he went back there and smoked everybody with the suit on and shit. 0.98

03:08:51.000 Yeah, that's where Dane Cook's manager tried to psych him out before he went on stage. 0.90

03:08:57.000 What did he say to him?

03:08:57.000 Something dicky.

03:08:59.000 You know? 0.90

03:09:00.000 Something dicky like, you know, you're never gonna beat him or something like that. 0.98

03:09:03.000 Like something really shitty. 0.96

03:09:05.000 Stan Hope wound up winning and crushed it. 0.99

03:09:11.000 His set at that time was fucking amazing, Joe Rogan. 0.75

03:09:16.000 He's amazing now. 0.88

03:09:18.000 He said at that time he had connected the bridge for me.

03:09:24.000 That's what put me on the right path.

03:09:26.000 The bridge of?

03:09:27.000 When I watched what he was doing in a half hour then, what he was headlining his first half hour then, just the way he was delivering it, his presentation, how he was yelling at the audience when they walked. 0.99

03:09:41.000 It was all a fucking thing of genius. 0.96

03:09:44.000 It hit me so hard that I didn't do comedy for about four days to gather up, like, what am I going to do with my life? 1.00

03:09:51.000 Because if I'm not that good, it's not worth doing this shit. 0.99

03:09:54.000 You know, at that time he was doing the bucket of vaginas joke that some lady come up to him and ask him if he wants to buy a bucket of roses at a bar. 1.00

03:10:03.000 I don't need roses. 1.00

03:10:04.000 I need a bucket of vaginas. 1.00

03:10:06.000 And then the lady would walk out. 1.00

03:10:08.000 But I'll never forget that He said, what I need is a bucket of cunts. 0.99

03:10:12.000 And she walks out, and then some lady in the audience actually gets up and walks out. 1.00

03:10:16.000 And he's like, lady, I'm sorry, I should've said cunt, I should've said vagina. 1.00

03:10:19.000 This went on all night. 1.00

03:10:21.000 People would walk, and then he'd say things to them as they were walking out.

03:10:25.000 But it was so brilliant, the people couldn't take it no more.

03:10:29.000 You know, I was a comic.

03:10:30.000 I loved what he was doing on stage. 0.99

03:10:32.000 He was talking about going to a bar and the G-string was stuck in the girl's fucking thing and it was in there somewhere. 0.98

03:10:38.000 I'm not doing any justice to this. 0.99

03:10:39.000 Right, I understand.

03:10:40.000 But it didn't matter what he was doing on stage.

03:10:43.000 Nobody was really doing it at that time.

03:10:45.000 And then he came to LA and they were hating on him at that improv. 0.98

03:10:49.000 They were trying to make that fucking, you know. 0.99

03:10:51.000 Squeaky clean. 1.00

03:10:52.000 Squeaky clean.

03:10:52.000 And he went in there.

03:10:53.000 And I was in there the night when he insulted the burn victim.

03:10:56.000 The guy that did the benefit.

03:10:57.000 He went up there and the guy had the hat on. 0.99

03:10:59.000 And he goes, what the fuck are you people depressed? 0.98

03:11:01.000 This guy hasn't cracked a smile an hour. 0.99

03:11:03.000 You know, I mean, he didn't stop for a while.

03:11:06.000 Then he started walking the improv, you know.

03:11:10.000 Like on those nights where all the professionals and the eagles are there, you know what I'm saying?

03:11:14.000 They would put him on and they would panic.

03:11:19.000 And then Mitzi Shaw made a mistake. 1.00

03:11:21.000 And she started putting that motherfucker on at a quarter to nine before Betsy Salkine. 1.00

03:11:28.000 That's not a mistake. 0.99

03:11:29.000 That's not a mistake.

03:11:30.000 Mitzi, she had a method to her madness. 1.00

03:11:34.000 She enjoyed watching that show.

03:11:35.000 Yeah, but once you watched it at that time, and you know I tell you how it is, the show opens up at what time at the Comedy Store on Saturdays?

03:11:43.000 8.30 in those days.

03:11:46.000 Okay?

03:11:47.000 She would put Doug Stanhope on third.

03:11:49.000 Ooh.

03:11:51.000 And then he would hit so hard in the original room.

03:11:56.000 They would see who first, the political guy.

03:11:59.000 Then they would have a buffer.

03:12:01.000 And then she didn't really know who Stan Hope was.

03:12:03.000 She had forgotten. 0.96

03:12:05.000 And she'd put him up at a quarter to fucking nine. 0.93

03:12:08.000 You know, the third guy on the list. 0.98

03:12:11.000 On a Saturday.

03:12:12.000 They were not ready for him.

03:12:14.000 I remember one particular Saturday, he was talking about lesbians with... 0.98

03:12:19.000 Dick pumps in a softball game. 0.97

03:12:21.000 I mean, he was just going off.

03:12:23.000 And the original room didn't even know where he was going.

03:12:27.000 Like, nobody knew where he was going. 1.00

03:12:30.000 You're a fucking lesbian softball player. 1.00

03:12:33.000 You're probably in the fucking thing with a dick pump. 1.00

03:12:35.000 I don't fuck. 1.00

03:12:36.000 And he even made a cover. 1.00

03:12:37.000 He's got an album cover of a dick pump. 0.96

03:12:39.000 That was that bit. 0.99

03:12:41.000 They weren't fucking... 0.99

03:12:42.000 I'm sitting back there stoned to the gills, confused. 0.99

03:12:46.000 They were out of it.

03:12:47.000 But the saddest thing, Joe Rogan, honestly, it wasn't the guy that followed him.

03:12:52.000 It was the two people that followed Stanhope in those days. 0.99

03:12:55.000 Because the second guy that followed Stanhope was all fucked up. 0.99

03:12:59.000 He just put bad energy in the room. 0.99

03:13:01.000 In those days, Hollywood wasn't ready for Stanhope, man.

03:13:05.000 I saw it.

03:13:06.000 I saw it at the improv.

03:13:08.000 Well, don't you think that their whole approach to stand-up, the Hollywood approach to stand-up has changed?

03:13:14.000 Like, it used to be, you know, they were all leaning towards...

03:13:18.000 They had to let us in now.

03:13:20.000 That's what happened.

03:13:21.000 Well, they were all leaning towards sitcoms.

03:13:23.000 Yeah, because people were funny.

03:13:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:13:26.000 We could name a lot of- we could sit here for two fucking hours. 0.98

03:13:28.000 We name a lot of people that came to this town who were genuinely funny, and then some fucking suit got to them and said, listen, you have to write your sitcom for these people and talk about it on your stage persona. 0.98

03:13:39.000 And then they went up there and changed their whole stand-up, and you know what? 0.99

03:13:42.000 That's funny in a way, but it's not really who the fuck you are. 0.99

03:13:45.000 Right. 0.99

03:13:46.000 And that's what happened.

03:13:47.000 People got away from that for a few years, our years.

03:13:51.000 96 to 2004, people got away from that.

03:13:54.000 People still wanted you to build a sitcom on stage. 1.00

03:13:56.000 But when that fucking idea went awry, they had to let fucking people that are crazy in there. 0.99

03:14:04.000 It seems like the podcast era, then people got to understand how much entertainment there is and just people being themselves. 1.00

03:14:12.000 Just crazy people.

03:14:13.000 People like you or people like Ari or people like Duncan. 0.95

03:14:17.000 People started recognizing...

03:14:19.000 When you let a guy just be himself or a girl just be themselves, you're going to get the real thing. 0.86

03:14:25.000 You're going to find out what's actually funny.

03:14:26.000 What it really makes you realize is how much media does control what you watch and see.

03:14:31.000 Whether it's music, it's comedians.

03:14:33.000 Let's pretend that...

03:14:33.000 Well, there's no venue for stand-up like that except for HBO. Let's pretend that...

03:14:37.000 Right now, podcasts would not have come up in this in the last ten years.

03:14:42.000 You wouldn't know me, you wouldn't know Stanhope, you wouldn't know Ari, you wouldn't know Duncan, you wouldn't know a half of fucking decent comics that are floating around because the people who are controlling comedy are controlling comedy due to certain criterias.

03:14:56.000 Youth, age, It all has to mix up. 0.69

03:15:00.000 Yeah.

03:15:00.000 It all has to mix up.

03:15:01.000 If it doesn't mix up, and I'm not crying fucking wolfy. 0.99

03:15:05.000 I'm happy with the fuck I'm doing. 0.99

03:15:07.000 I've done great compared to what I thought I was going to fucking do. 0.99

03:15:10.000 So I'm talking about sometimes I'll call somebody and they go, no, you're too old for this thing. 0.94

03:15:15.000 Well, you got to think about what, you know...

03:15:17.000 People are watching.

03:15:18.000 Well, what can a guy like you do?

03:15:19.000 You could do one of two things.

03:15:20.000 You could either do an HBO special or you can do nothing.

03:15:24.000 You don't have uncensored radio back then.

03:15:26.000 Until Sirius came along and XM, you didn't even have a venue on the radio.

03:15:30.000 So you had nothing.

03:15:31.000 You had nothing to be you and your stories and all your craziness where you're free like this.

03:15:36.000 And so it wasn't a product to sell.

03:15:39.000 There was no market.

03:15:41.000 So unless you became a Kinison or a Dice Clay or someone who got on an HBO special or got on Rodney Dangerfield's HBO special where the world got introduced to you being dirty, no one was really going to buy it. 1.00

03:15:52.000 Bitch! 1.00

03:15:53.000 Bitch, we got on Joe Rogan's podcast, motherfucker. 1.00

03:15:56.000 You're the new fucking writer. 1.00

03:15:57.000 That's what we have now. 1.00

03:15:58.000 You opened up ten fucking comedians to these people. 0.99

03:16:01.000 Never even dreamed about going to watch. 0.99

03:16:03.000 I remember years ago, please, when we went up to fucking Cobbs, the dude, me, and I. That shit used to bother me because that was how we reviewed everything. 0.99

03:16:11.000 Well, they didn't respect you guys. 1.00

03:16:13.000 No.

03:16:14.000 And they thought because you guys didn't have TV credits and because you were dirty that I was making a bad choice by bringing you with me.

03:16:20.000 I'm like, what are you talking about?

03:16:22.000 These guys are hilarious. 0.99

03:16:23.000 That stuff is fucking tremendous. 0.98

03:16:24.000 Amazing. 1.00

03:16:25.000 I got fucked up. 1.00

03:16:26.000 I blacked out of this motherfucker from about an hour. 1.00

03:16:29.000 I know some people are probably saying, Joey, you were quiet today. 0.99

03:16:31.000 No, I blacked out for a while.

03:16:32.000 I went deep.

03:16:33.000 Yeah, there's a lot in that. 0.99

03:16:35.000 I took ten hits of that fucking thing and did a podcast with Sam Harris. 0.99

03:16:39.000 Ten. 1.00

03:16:40.000 Ten sprays of the same one?

03:16:42.000 Yeah, I took two before I got here too, but I think those had kind of worn off and I decided to just see what happens.

03:16:46.000 Well, you know what's good about this?

03:16:47.000 You don't go deep for eight hours.

03:16:49.000 No. 0.99

03:16:49.000 The other shit I gotta commit to. 0.99

03:16:51.000 I like this little spray. 0.99

03:16:52.000 I just went through it. 0.99

03:16:53.000 For a minute, I was a little fucked up. 0.98

03:16:54.000 I ain't gonna lie to you. 0.99

03:16:55.000 I was seeing doubles.

03:16:56.000 I thought about taking a nap.

03:16:57.000 Well, I think easy in is easy out, right?

03:17:00.000 Because, like, it's not digesting in your stomach.

03:17:02.000 It's going through your bloodstream because you're doing it, you know, transdermal.

03:17:05.000 Is that what it is?

03:17:06.000 What is it called when you put it under your...

03:17:08.000 Subdermal.

03:17:10.000 Subdermal, right? 0.99

03:17:10.000 I was getting scared there for a moment because I ate that fucking bar before I came in there. 0.99

03:17:15.000 Oh, you did that too? 1.00

03:17:16.000 How dare you?

03:17:16.000 Why not?

03:17:18.000 Yeah, why not?

03:17:19.000 It's Halloween. 1.00

03:17:20.000 I gotta dress up like a fucking cowboy. 1.00

03:17:21.000 Sublingual. 1.00

03:17:22.000 Thank you, sir.

03:17:23.000 I gotta dress up like a cowboy, Jack.

03:17:24.000 I'm excited.

03:17:25.000 I don't know what my wife's gonna be. 1.00

03:17:26.000 She's trying to... 0.87

03:17:27.000 Don't be an Indian. 1.00

03:17:28.000 People get mad at you. 0.96

03:17:29.000 Cultural appropriation.

03:17:31.000 Didn't, uh... 0.99

03:17:31.000 What the fuck's her name have to apologize? 0.99

03:17:33.000 Hillary Duff? 1.00

03:17:34.000 Didn't she apologize for her Halloween costume?

03:17:36.000 It was cultural appropriation.

03:17:38.000 Yeah, but...

03:17:39.000 What was her costume?

03:17:40.000 She was a pilgrim, and I think the- Wait a second, wait a second.

03:17:43.000 So you can't be an Indian no more?

03:17:45.000 No more Indians. 1.00

03:17:46.000 No more cowboys and Indians. 1.00

03:17:47.000 It's cowboys versus cowboys. 1.00

03:17:49.000 And if you do encounter an Indian, you better be an actual fucking Indian, not some culturally appropriating cisgendered white piece of shit. 1.00

03:17:57.000 Hilary Duff is so sorry about her offensive Halloween costume. 1.00

03:18:02.000 Oh my god.

03:18:04.000 So the man- You see, people haven't gotten the full message yet from the social justice warriors.

03:18:09.000 They haven't gotten the full message yet that you're not allowed to wear that Indian headdress.

03:18:12.000 Who's social justice warriors? 0.90

03:18:13.000 Fill me in on this.

03:18:14.000 Social justice warriors are people that want to control the way people behave.

03:18:17.000 They want everyone to be very progressive and very PC. Is that a webpage?

03:18:21.000 No.

03:18:21.000 They're just a group.

03:18:22.000 And we're going to enforce cultural appropriation. 0.74

03:18:24.000 No white guys with dreadlocks. 0.94

03:18:26.000 Stop it. 0.97

03:18:27.000 Stop it. 1.00

03:18:29.000 No, you can't have Taco Tuesday, you piece of shit. 1.00

03:18:31.000 It's cultural appropriation. 1.00

03:18:33.000 They get mad if white guys cook Chinese food.

03:18:35.000 It's like, there's so much going on, folks. 0.90

03:18:37.000 I get mad if white guys cook Chinese food. 0.86

03:18:39.000 I'm gonna lie to you. 0.94

03:18:39.000 I want a Chinese guy cooking Chinese food. 0.94

03:18:41.000 That's what's wrong with fucking things. 0.99

03:18:43.000 That's true. 0.99

03:18:43.000 You know what else I demand? 0.99

03:18:44.000 For the most part, I like Mexican food from Mexican people.

03:18:49.000 There's a guy that was getting in trouble for cultural appropriation because he ran a Mexican restaurant.

03:18:54.000 He's a white guy from Oklahoma.

03:18:55.000 And it was a huge stinkeroo.

03:18:57.000 And apparently this guy's a huge fan of Mexican cooking and is a real, like, master chef and goes to Mexico and studies under the great Mexican chefs and opens up Mexican restaurants in America just because he loves Mexican cooking. 1.00

03:19:09.000 And they're like, fuck you. 1.00

03:19:11.000 You're not Mexican. 1.00

03:19:12.000 You can't do it.

03:19:14.000 Cultural appropriation. 0.99

03:19:16.000 What the fuck are we doing? 0.99

03:19:17.000 We're apologizing for Indian costumes. 0.99

03:19:19.000 I gotta tell you something.

03:19:20.000 Before I go right now, because I want to turn people on.

03:19:22.000 There he is. 0.98

03:19:24.000 I'll tell you what's the best show I've seen since Sopranos, the last, like, fucking whatever. 0.99

03:19:29.000 You're gonna hate it. 0.98

03:19:31.000 People are gonna hate it.

03:19:32.000 It's a show called Celia.

03:19:35.000 Celia?

03:19:35.000 Celia.

03:19:36.000 It's about Celia Cruz, the Cuban singer.

03:19:38.000 How do you spell it?

03:19:39.000 C-E-L-I-A. What's it on?

03:19:43.000 It's on Netflix.

03:19:45.000 Somebody called me and said, Joey, you're Cuban, no disrespect.

03:19:48.000 You should watch that show.

03:19:50.000 I knew Celia Cruz.

03:19:51.000 My mom had the bar in the early 70s.

03:19:55.000 My mom was tighter with Celia, but I was going to Catholic school, so whenever she came by, I wasn't there.

03:20:01.000 I would see her at the bar, and I had seen her a few times, but I didn't know much of her.

03:20:05.000 I liked like three of her songs.

03:20:06.000 In Cuba, she's like a folklore. 0.98

03:20:09.000 Like, there's fucking, like, people love her in Cuba. 0.98

03:20:11.000 What is she, like, in comparison? 1.00

03:20:12.000 Jesus Christ! 1.00

03:20:13.000 I watched this fucking show. 1.00

03:20:15.000 And I'm up to episode 30, okay? 1.00

03:20:18.000 And they taped it like a Spanish novella, right?

03:20:21.000 Which, again, nobody will really like it unless you grew up on Spanish novellas.

03:20:26.000 But it fills you in on what was going on. 0.99

03:20:30.000 Like, she goes, like, right now, Castro just took her fucking house. 0.99

03:20:34.000 So when you say they taped like a Spanish novella, you mean... 0.99

03:20:37.000 Like a Telemundo novella, but they made this into a TV show. 0.99

03:20:40.000 80 fucking episodes. 0.99

03:20:42.000 I'm up to 33. 80 episodes? 1.00

03:20:44.000 80 fucking episodes. 0.99

03:20:45.000 Is the first season? 0.99

03:20:46.000 I don't know what it is.

03:20:48.000 Somebody called me and turned me on to it.

03:20:50.000 But it's not that interesting, like the singing is cool.

03:20:53.000 And I remember growing up and listening to some of those songs in my mom's bar.

03:20:58.000 What's going on is they break down that gay thing in Cuba, what I told you. 1.00

03:21:03.000 They used to take them shark hunting and throw them off the boat. 1.00

03:21:06.000 Like, this fucking kid was saying, my father left the house because I was gay. 1.00

03:21:10.000 Like, it was so taboo, and if you were dark-skinned... 1.00

03:21:13.000 Like, if you were any dark-skinned at all in Cuba, they would hate you, Joe Rogan.

03:21:18.000 So when Castro got in there, made it easier.

03:21:21.000 Batista was robbing people. 1.00

03:21:23.000 Batista was just a piece of shit. 1.00

03:21:25.000 I mean, Batista was such a piece of shit that 20 years after he was gone, they were hunting down his soldiers in the United States. 1.00

03:21:33.000 Like fucking Nazi soldiers. 1.00

03:21:35.000 Like they were getting hunted down. 1.00

03:21:36.000 These groups of Cubans were hunting them down and fucking beating them and shooting them and shit. 1.00

03:21:40.000 That's how much, because it had become like, towards the last five years of Cuba, it had become like, if I pulled you over, I'd just beat you the fuck up, took your car, and that was it. 1.00

03:21:51.000 But for eight years, Cuba, Fidel sat in those mountains. 0.96

03:21:56.000 It's like taking over LA and setting up in fucking San Francisco for eight years waiting for the opportunity. 0.96

03:22:02.000 And it breaks it down along the way how it was easy for them to take over. 0.99

03:22:07.000 It was like stealing.

03:22:08.000 Fidel, they were waiting for Fidel to take over the revolution.

03:22:11.000 It is pretty crazy that he's still in control. 0.99

03:22:13.000 It's fucking crazy. 1.00

03:22:14.000 I mean, this really, you know, and I knew this shit. 1.00

03:22:16.000 Is there anybody like that out there now, besides him, that took a country by force and still has control of it all these years later? 0.99

03:22:23.000 Oh, he just went into people's houses and said, it's mine.

03:22:26.000 You know, this show doesn't touch on the casinos, but he just walked into the casinos and said, go ahead, call the mafia, tell them, it's mine.

03:22:38.000 You know, you show them, they show the Cubans taking all the American embassy people. 0.98

03:22:44.000 What did they do to them?

03:22:45.000 Just took them on by the arm and walked them to the airport.

03:22:48.000 Have a nice life.

03:22:49.000 Wow.

03:22:51.000 You know, they nationalized all the businesses.

03:22:55.000 It was just something that you don't think about.

03:22:57.000 I don't think about it. 0.99

03:22:58.000 You know, I'm Americanized, whatever the fuck. 0.98

03:23:01.000 But it is the acting sensation. 0.99

03:23:04.000 It's just a little too much music.

03:23:06.000 It's subtitles.

03:23:07.000 It's all Spanish.

03:23:09.000 You say that she was huge in Cuba.

03:23:11.000 Oh, she was huge worldwide.

03:23:12.000 Worldwide?

03:23:13.000 Like, compare it to someone of today.

03:23:15.000 Like, what would you compare it to?

03:23:16.000 Whitney Houston.

03:23:17.000 In 1956, she had her first gold album. 0.99

03:23:19.000 Holy shit. 0.99

03:23:20.000 That's a million, right? 1.00

03:23:21.000 Yeah.

03:23:22.000 No, is gold $500,000?

03:23:25.000 Platinum's a million? 0.99

03:23:26.000 And the people, the owner of the company, had to call the fucking band leader over and go, we can't have this chick, dog. 1.00

03:23:33.000 She's a darkie. 1.00

03:23:35.000 Darkies don't sell records in Cuba. 1.00

03:23:36.000 They're not going to do it.

03:23:38.000 And he guaranteed them. 0.99

03:23:39.000 He goes, you ever talk like that, they're going to knock you the fuck out. 0.88

03:23:41.000 But, if it goes gold, you pay for the studio sessions. 0.93

03:23:46.000 If it doesn't go gold, I pay.

03:23:47.000 I guarantee you. 0.99

03:23:48.000 She became one of the biggest actresses in the fucking... 1.00

03:23:50.000 Not actresses, uh... 1.00

03:23:51.000 Not the best looking fucking monster out there. 1.00

03:23:54.000 I mean, that was her argument also. 1.00

03:23:55.000 She was Haitian? 0.61

03:23:57.000 She was Cuban.

03:23:58.000 Why does it say she was Haitian?

03:23:59.000 I don't know. 1.00

03:24:01.000 She probably had Haitian blood, whatever the fuck it is, but she was fucking Cuban. 1.00

03:24:06.000 But, you know, they said she wouldn't sell records because she was ugly. 1.00

03:24:10.000 She wouldn't sell records because she was dark skinned. 1.00

03:24:14.000 Is it her actual music in the show?

03:24:16.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

03:24:17.000 And her singing and shit. 1.00

03:24:18.000 It's pretty fucking intense. 1.00

03:24:19.000 But it showed like three struggles for her. 0.99

03:24:22.000 Like, she wasn't going to make it as a fucking dark singer. 0.99

03:24:25.000 You know, they show like what Cuba was going through, like when Fidel fucking goes into a house. 0.99

03:24:30.000 And now, the last episode I watched, she's supposed to go perform at the Tropicana for the Comandante, you know? 0.97

03:24:38.000 And she's like, he took my house, now he wants me to go perform for him? 1.00

03:24:42.000 Fuck him, I'm not going down there. 1.00

03:24:43.000 But she's down there, he's down there with Che Guevara. 1.00

03:24:47.000 You know, and all that shit. 0.99

03:24:48.000 So that's the last episode I watched. 0.99

03:24:50.000 That was it.

03:24:51.000 I'll check that out.

03:24:53.000 80 episodes, that scares the shit out of me, though.

03:24:55.000 Joe Rogan, you'll watch two episodes and bail.

03:24:59.000 Will I? It's kind of different.

03:25:01.000 It's different.

03:25:02.000 Even for me, it was a little different at first.

03:25:04.000 I stuck with it because I grew up in it, and I kind of miss that right now.

03:25:08.000 So I kind of miss that.

03:25:10.000 It's constantly in Spanish.

03:25:12.000 It's really good Cuban actors.

03:25:14.000 There's a couple Mexicans. 1.00

03:25:15.000 There's a couple fucking... 1.00

03:25:17.000 You know, like light-skinned Mexicans. 1.00

03:25:19.000 You don't even know they're Mexicans.

03:25:20.000 It talked about Cuba in the 50s.

03:25:22.000 What Cuba was in the 50s.

03:25:23.000 Are you liking Narcos?

03:25:25.000 I liked it.

03:25:26.000 I liked both seasons. 0.99

03:25:28.000 Pretty good fucking stuff. 0.99

03:25:28.000 Just liked it? 0.99

03:25:30.000 Uh-huh.

03:25:30.000 It was great.

03:25:31.000 I loved that fucking show. 1.00

03:25:33.000 Did you watch both seasons? 1.00

03:25:36.000 I haven't finished the second season yet.

03:25:38.000 I'm halfway into the second season.

03:25:39.000 Did you watch the first season?

03:25:40.000 Yeah, I loved it.

03:25:41.000 Loved the first season.

03:25:42.000 I'm halfway into the second season, but then I found Stranger Things.

03:25:44.000 And I went off on a tangent.

03:25:46.000 And I had to watch that. 1.00

03:25:47.000 I had to ride that motherfucker right to the end. 0.99

03:25:48.000 I love that show. 0.99

03:25:50.000 There's a lot of good shows out there.

03:25:51.000 A lot of good shows out there.

03:25:52.000 Westworld.

03:25:53.000 It's good.

03:25:53.000 I haven't watched it yet.

03:25:54.000 Too many computers and shit. 0.99

03:25:56.000 Anthony Hopkins. 1.00

03:25:57.000 Ed Harris is a bad motherfucker. 1.00

03:25:59.000 Ed Harris has always been a bad motherfucker. 1.00

03:26:01.000 He's a bad motherfucker. 1.00

03:26:02.000 But this is his... 1.00

03:26:03.000 This is the one.

03:26:06.000 This is the role where, you know, you're going to see him a lot because, you know, it's many, many, many episodes.

03:26:11.000 So it's like a...

03:26:12.000 The beautiful thing about Game of Thrones is that it's a giant movie.

03:26:16.000 It's a movie that lasts many, many, many, many seasons.

03:26:19.000 And once you get used to that, a regular movie, like, it's not enough time to tell a story.

03:26:24.000 90 minutes is not enough time to tell a story.

03:26:26.000 And you're seeing that with shows like Westworld, too.

03:26:29.000 It's like they're figuring out a totally new thing.

03:26:32.000 And a totally new thing being, there's been shows before, like Lost and a bunch of other shows, where there was a storyline they had to follow through the entire, you know, all seasons, and they all kind of connected.

03:26:41.000 But not sort of the way they're doing it now.

03:26:44.000 The way they're doing it now is with nudity and swearing and violence and sexuality.

03:26:49.000 It's all no holds barred. 0.99

03:26:51.000 Game of Thrones has changed the whole fucking game. 0.98

03:26:54.000 And now Westworld is changing the game too. 0.98

03:26:56.000 There's a bunch of these shows like that that are just HBO and Netflix and all these companies that have the budget to put together essentially a movie a week.

03:27:07.000 And they get these banging actors. 1.00

03:27:09.000 And I'm telling you, Ed Harris knocks it out of the He's so creepy.

03:27:14.000 He's so creepy, you believe him, man.

03:27:16.000 You believe he's the boogeyman. 1.00

03:27:18.000 If you were living in those Wild West days, and Ed Harris rides up in a fucking horse outside your town with that creepy fucking smile of his, and you can't even kill him, guns don't work on him, fuck, man. 1.00

03:27:31.000 It's awesome. 1.00

03:27:33.000 Such a good show.

03:27:34.000 I love.

03:27:35.000 I love Joey Diaz. 0.99

03:27:37.000 Speaking of good show, Joey Diaz, I heard you had a good show in Chicago, and I heard we're gonna be able to see that shit on CISO. December 8th, bitches. 1.00

03:27:43.000 Oh, shit! 1.00

03:27:44.000 You were at Zaney's, right? 1.00

03:27:47.000 Zaney's, Rosemont.

03:27:48.000 Rosemont.

03:27:48.000 That's a great club.

03:27:49.000 That's a fun place. 1.00

03:27:50.000 It's a great little fucking club, yeah. 0.99

03:27:51.000 Eddie Bravo said he saw you down there. 1.00

03:27:53.000 He said he had a great fucking time. 0.99

03:27:54.000 Friday night, Friday night. 1.00

03:27:55.000 We had a good time.

03:27:56.000 And then Saturday, the first show was a little lumpy.

03:27:58.000 But the second show, I just got out of my...

03:28:00.000 You know, I was trying to be Jerry Seinfeld, and I had a script...

03:28:04.000 Really?

03:28:05.000 For the first show.

03:28:05.000 Yeah, I was going to stick to...

03:28:06.000 Just because it's taping?

03:28:08.000 It was the first time I had the opportunity.

03:28:09.000 I was going to try to work a little cleaner.

03:28:11.000 I didn't want them to...

03:28:12.000 I didn't want them to look at me and say, you know, I tell you why I'm a fan of MMA when I see growth.

03:28:20.000 I love when I watch an MMA fight.

03:28:22.000 When Conor McGregor fought Nick Diaz the second time, I was so happy that I finally, somebody's doing what I'm talking about.

03:28:29.000 Right.

03:28:29.000 You go back, you look at your mistakes, and you go back there and correct them.

03:28:32.000 At the same time, you show up with a new weapon.

03:28:35.000 Don't keep telling me that you're the hardest hitter in the UFC lightweight division.

03:28:38.000 I don't want to hear that because it's not about the hardest hitter.

03:28:41.000 I don't want to hear that no more.

03:28:42.000 So I thought about my special from that perspective.

03:28:45.000 And I go, if I watch my special and if I do a come on the foot joke, they're going to know he never grew from there.

03:28:50.000 He never really...

03:28:51.000 So I really wanted to try it.

03:28:53.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

03:28:54.000 But see, that's the fuck with your head, man, because those come on the foot jokes are great. 1.00

03:28:58.000 No, no, I don't like them. 1.00

03:28:59.000 I just do them to kill time because I'm lazy.

03:29:02.000 But I just wanted to do something that was me, but not...

03:29:07.000 So I worked it that way.

03:29:08.000 The first show, I tried to be Jerry Seinfeld, and it kind of worked a little bit.

03:29:12.000 The technique was there, but the oomph just wasn't there. 0.99

03:29:15.000 And I thought about it, and I said, fuck this. 0.98

03:29:17.000 I'm going to change this all up. 1.00

03:29:19.000 I'm going to go out this motherfucker a cappella. 1.00

03:29:22.000 Old school acapello. 1.00

03:29:24.000 That's you, man.

03:29:25.000 That's what you gotta do.

03:29:25.000 I should have been there, man.

03:29:27.000 I shouldn't have been working.

03:29:28.000 No order, no nothing.

03:29:30.000 Acapello, whatever the jokes.

03:29:32.000 I didn't want to use old jokes, nothing like that.

03:29:34.000 It was all fresh stuff.

03:29:35.000 It worked out, man.

03:29:36.000 I'm happy I did it.

03:29:37.000 25 years.

03:29:39.000 It's done.

03:29:39.000 You know what we should do next?

03:29:40.000 We're gonna tape another one.

03:29:42.000 You know what we should do next?

03:29:43.000 We should do like a Ronnie Dangerfield special type thing with all of us.

03:29:47.000 With like Ari and you and Duncan and put it together.

03:29:52.000 And, you know, and do the same the way that Rod used to do, where they have like four or five comics go on and do like 15 minutes.

03:29:59.000 You know?

03:30:01.000 You know man, sometimes I get stuck with comedy and I go back to those.

03:30:04.000 In my world.

03:30:05.000 Those are great!

03:30:06.000 Kennison on there.

03:30:08.000 Dice on there. 0.99

03:30:08.000 Bill Hicks taught me an education because fucking Andrew went up there and leveled the room. 0.99

03:30:15.000 Leveled. 1.00

03:30:16.000 Leveled.

03:30:16.000 I would have ran out of there if I had to follow Andrew Dice Clay.

03:30:19.000 And Bill Hicks went up there with the composure, slowed him down, lit up a cigarette.

03:30:24.000 Smooth as a cucumber.

03:30:26.000 Or cool.

03:30:27.000 Cool as a cucumber.

03:30:28.000 Right?

03:30:29.000 Cucumbers. 1.00

03:30:29.000 Sucked them into a web of fucking horror and it turned into something else. 1.00

03:30:34.000 Our boy Schimmel destroyed that. 1.00

03:30:37.000 Dom Herrera.

03:30:38.000 Dom Herrera.

03:30:39.000 Lenny Clark destroyed it. 0.94

03:30:41.000 That's always been my go-to when I'm fucking up with stand-up and... 0.99

03:30:48.000 Seinfeld fucked it up there. 0.97

03:30:50.000 It was a couple great people there. 0.86

03:30:52.000 Who else?

03:30:52.000 Robert Townsend?

03:30:53.000 Roseanne Barr?

03:30:54.000 Yeah.

03:30:56.000 Yeah.

03:30:57.000 Oh! 0.60

03:30:58.000 Barry Sobel!

03:30:59.000 Barry Sobel, that's right.

03:31:00.000 With a leather jacket on.

03:31:01.000 That's right.

03:31:02.000 Barry Sobel, who went on to be in Punchline.

03:31:04.000 Yeah, we really should do that, Joey.

03:31:06.000 Why don't we do that?

03:31:07.000 That should be our next thing.

03:31:08.000 Set it up.

03:31:09.000 Yeah.

03:31:09.000 We could do it for Netflix.

03:31:11.000 Yeah, and do it that way we could do another special quick.

03:31:14.000 Like, you do this special, then we could do another one and, like...

03:31:17.000 Seven or eight months or something like that.

03:31:19.000 We'd all have 20 solid minutes in seven or eight months and we could throw on another show.

03:31:23.000 This is tremendous edibles. 0.99

03:31:25.000 Fuck yeah it is! 1.00

03:31:26.000 You know why too? 1.00

03:31:26.000 Because even if it don't get you high, your Brent is fucking minty fresh after that. 1.00

03:31:31.000 It feels good. 0.98

03:31:31.000 My mouth tastes great. 0.98

03:31:32.000 Mine too.

03:31:34.000 So, it's on CISO, and isn't there something where you can sign up for free?

03:31:38.000 Yeah, I got a code.

03:31:39.000 I listen to the podcast, and I give out the CISO code, and they get two free months. 0.87

03:31:43.000 I'll give it to you November 25th, so you got it until January, and you get the special for fucking free. 0.87

03:31:48.000 Come on, Joey Diaz. 0.91

03:31:50.000 Doug Stanhope is on there.

03:31:52.000 That's right.

03:31:53.000 They're doing some other specials, too, right? 1.00

03:31:55.000 Oh, they're shooting a ton of shit. 0.99

03:31:56.000 They're going to be the official comedy. 1.00

03:31:58.000 They want to go for it.

03:31:59.000 They want to go for it, and they want...

03:32:01.000 You know what?

03:32:01.000 I think all these new networks are going to open up, like the same way that Netflix is done.

03:32:06.000 It's obviously a very, very good model, and they're realizing that now.

03:32:10.000 That's going to be the future.

03:32:11.000 These networks of like CBS and NBC and ABC, boy, they're going to have a hard time in a few years staying afloat.

03:32:17.000 Well, let's think about it.

03:32:18.000 What's Netflix?

03:32:21.000 How much a month?

03:32:22.000 Nine bucks?

03:32:23.000 Nine bucks.

03:32:24.000 $3.99 for CISO. CISO's only four?

03:32:26.000 That's going to be a sports one that's going to be like $2. 0.99

03:32:29.000 Pretty soon you're going to be spending $21 and you're going to get programming from fucking Mars. 0.97

03:32:35.000 You understand me? 0.98

03:32:35.000 What does CISO have? 0.98

03:32:36.000 What's on it?

03:32:38.000 They have...

03:32:39.000 The office?

03:32:40.000 It's an NBC thing, right?

03:32:42.000 Okay.

03:32:42.000 It's NBC. So they've got everything NBC, even all 40 years.

03:32:46.000 Saturday Night Live.

03:32:47.000 Saturday Night Live.

03:32:48.000 See y'all.

03:32:51.000 So they're starting?

03:32:53.000 Yeah, I guess they went after a lot of comedian specials.

03:32:56.000 Is Ari doing his thing on CISO? I'm not sure.

03:32:59.000 They have like original networking on there, like original programming networking. 0.97

03:33:03.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. 0.93

03:33:05.000 That's awesome. 0.96

03:33:06.000 It's tremendous.

03:33:07.000 Well, I think that's the future.

03:33:09.000 Netflix didn't become Netflix overnight.

03:33:11.000 There was something I was watching online where this guy was talking about big companies and companies to look for.

03:33:17.000 And there's companies like Google and Apple and big technology companies.

03:33:20.000 And he thinks that Netflix is going to be one of the next big technology companies.

03:33:23.000 You look at the growth and look at what it's worth now and what it's projected to be worth in 2020. It's like it just keeps growing and growing and as more and more people abandon cable like less and less people are getting cable more and more people are getting their TV shows just from Netflix and you know the thing is The idea of watching something,

03:33:42.000 you have to be home at 8 o'clock and you're going to be sitting there waiting, it seems archaic.

03:33:47.000 It seems archaic to wait for a show.

03:33:49.000 And what Netflix also does to get you and turn you into a junkie is that you could just binge.

03:33:54.000 You could just sit there and watch all the Narcos episodes.

03:33:57.000 Just sit there. 1.00

03:33:58.000 I'll come home at night from doing stand-up and start unwinding and I'll watch an episode of fucking Narcos. 0.99

03:34:04.000 That'll take you to where you need to be. 1.00

03:34:05.000 Fuck yeah. 0.99

03:34:06.000 I liked Episode 7. That's been one of my favorite episodes of television the last 20 years. 0.99

03:34:13.000 Episode 7, La Espanada.

03:34:15.000 I don't know which one that was. 0.99

03:34:17.000 When he kills the two guys and puts them in the oven. 0.97

03:34:19.000 The first season, the two dudes who were driving, stealing from him, Mankata. 1.00

03:34:24.000 That was dark. 0.99

03:34:25.000 When he did that episode, that's when I knew we were onto some fuck. 1.00

03:34:28.000 And his acting is fucking second to none right now. 1.00

03:34:32.000 That dude is out-acting motherfuckers. 1.00

03:34:34.000 He's a skinny dude that walks fat. 1.00

03:34:36.000 I've never seen that.

03:34:37.000 Well, he put on a lot of weight for that role. 1.00

03:34:39.000 I've never seen that shit. 1.00

03:34:40.000 I've never seen that shit. 1.00

03:34:42.000 Yeah, you buy it. 1.00

03:34:43.000 You buy who he's pretended to be. 1.00

03:34:45.000 It's a good fucking show. 0.99

03:34:47.000 There's a lot of good stuff out there these days. 1.00

03:34:49.000 But Joey Diaz is on CISO December 8th, motherfuckers. 0.99

03:34:53.000 What's it called? 0.99

03:34:53.000 What are you calling it? 0.99

03:34:56.000 Sociably Unacceptable.

03:34:57.000 Sociably Unacceptable?

03:35:01.000 Socially or sociably? 0.99

03:35:02.000 I have no fucking idea. 0.99

03:35:04.000 What are you bothering me for? 0.99

03:35:05.000 What's with the questions?

03:35:06.000 Just go to CISO December 8th.

03:35:08.000 I might change the title by that time.

03:35:11.000 So, have you edited it all?

03:35:13.000 Yeah, I got a couple of edits. 0.53

03:35:14.000 It looks fucking tremendous. 0.66

03:35:15.000 Beautiful. 0.93

03:35:16.000 So, when they put it up, you can just stream it live, right?

03:35:19.000 Yeah, December 8th.

03:35:21.000 Awesome.

03:35:21.000 And then, again, if you want to get on it, get on it now, because Doug Stanhope is already on CISO. You can check out his thing, too.

03:35:28.000 Joey's is December 8th.

03:35:30.000 I'll definitely have you on before then.

03:35:31.000 We'll let everybody know before it pops up. 1.00

03:35:33.000 And we're doing New Year's Eve, motherfuckers. 0.99

03:35:36.000 Orpheum Theater. 1.00

03:35:37.000 Home of EBI. Right.

03:35:39.000 With Tony, the golden pony, Hinchcliffe.

03:35:43.000 I think it's almost sold out.

03:35:44.000 I think there was less than 100 tickets left as of this week.

03:35:48.000 So, don't sleep.

03:35:49.000 You know, I came up here to promote something, but on the way up here, they were like, Joey, there's only like 60 tickets left.

03:35:55.000 I didn't know.

03:35:56.000 I thought that...

03:35:57.000 What is it?

03:35:57.000 The Wilbur.

03:35:58.000 When are you doing the Wilbur?

03:35:59.000 November 11th. 0.99

03:36:01.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

03:36:02.000 Well, let them know. 1.00

03:36:03.000 If you're in Boston, that fucking theater is one of the best theaters to see stand-up because it's three tiers and it's stacked right in front of you. 0.98

03:36:10.000 So it's a big-ass crowd, but it feels like a small crowd because each... 0.99

03:36:15.000 It's like there's three small crowds.

03:36:17.000 That's what it's like.

03:36:18.000 It's like three 300-seat comedy clubs stacked on top of each other.

03:36:21.000 That place is awesome.

03:36:22.000 And the next night I got Foxwoods.

03:36:23.000 And even that night...

03:36:25.000 We're selling tickets.

03:36:26.000 I was like, let's just bail on it because it's UFC 205. Everybody's going to watch UFC 205. They're like, no, we're selling tickets.

03:36:33.000 I said, okay. 0.97

03:36:34.000 Well, if people could stay off their fucking phones and just hit that DVR and just la, la, la, la, la, and not listen to the radio as they drive home, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then get in front of the TV, they could watch it as if it was a live event. 0.99

03:36:46.000 So they could see you and then go watch the fights. 1.00

03:36:49.000 This motherfuckers. 1.00

03:36:50.000 Alright, folks. 1.00

03:36:51.000 That's it.

03:36:51.000 That's the end.

03:36:52.000 That's the end for this week.

03:36:53.000 I'm going out of town. 0.99

03:36:54.000 I gotta go kill some deers with bows and arrows. 0.99

03:36:57.000 See ya. 0.95

03:36:58.000 It's deer.

03:36:59.000 No S. And be back soon. 1.00

03:37:02.000 Bye.

03:37:02.000 Love you guys.

03:37:03.000 Stay blessed. 1.00

03:37:03.000 Love that shit out of ya. 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 31, 2016

Joe Rogan Experience #867 - Joey Diaz

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript