The Joe Rogan Experience - JRE MMA Show #39 with Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone

00:00:02.000 Yes, sir.

00:00:06.000 Cheers.

00:00:07.000 And we're live.

00:00:09.000 And we're live.

00:00:10.000 There's so much to talk about.

00:00:12.000 So much to talk about.

00:00:13.000 It's been years.

00:00:14.000 It's been a while.

00:00:16.000 And one of the reasons why you're here is because...

00:00:20.000 I was supposed to have Jackson.

00:00:21.000 I mean, we should just get right into this.

00:00:23.000 You think we should get into it or should we?

00:00:24.000 Let the Budweiser settle in.

00:00:24.000 Yeah.

00:00:26.000 Let the Budweiser settle in.

00:00:27.000 I haven't even eaten breakfast.

00:00:29.000 I specifically didn't eat breakfast.

00:00:30.000 I'm like, I'm going to drink beer with Joe.

00:00:32.000 I already know he's getting me beer.

00:00:33.000 And that way it can hit me a lot faster and I'll loosen up my lips a lot sooner.

00:00:37.000 We can do whatever you want.

00:00:39.000 It's up to you.

00:00:40.000 You're looking thick, dude.

00:00:41.000 How much do you weigh now?

00:00:42.000 Man, so here's a crazy story.

00:00:45.000 I go to the PI because Dana tells me I can't go to 55. So I go to talk to the PI. He tells you you can't go.

00:00:53.000 Why?

00:00:53.000 Well, because he says I'm getting old and older.

00:00:57.000 Why did I just say he said old?

00:00:58.000 I'm getting old.

00:00:59.000 The weight cuts too hard.

00:01:01.000 So I said, all right, I'm going to go to the PI. You guys have this amazing facility with...

00:01:06.000 The PI stands for Performance Institute, if people don't know.

00:01:10.000 UFC Performance Institute.

00:01:12.000 And they have trainers and dietician nutrition, right?

00:01:15.000 So I'm going there to meet with them to get a guideline and some kind of plan that we can attack so I can go down.

00:01:22.000 Like, look, I met with your guys.

00:01:23.000 They said it's okay.

00:01:24.000 While I'm there, second day into all this like crazy testing you do, right?

00:01:29.000 They have all kinds of tests that they run where you get on these bikes and I mean...

00:01:33.000 Like, fuck, I was at an Olympic Training Center testing.

00:01:37.000 Um...

00:01:38.000 I wanted to say Joe Silva walked in, but then that's not right because he's not there anymore.

00:01:43.000 Maynard?

00:01:44.000 No.

00:01:44.000 Sean Shelby?

00:01:45.000 Shelby comes in and says, Cowboy, Mike Perry really wants to fight you.

00:01:49.000 You want to take this fight?

00:01:50.000 And I said, I thought I was going to 55. He said, yeah, he called you out and he really wants to fight you.

00:01:54.000 And I was like, well, fuck, okay.

00:01:56.000 I'll fight him.

00:01:56.000 Sure.

00:01:57.000 Done.

00:01:58.000 That's fine.

00:01:58.000 But next one, can I go to 55?

00:02:00.000 You know, like, God damn.

00:02:01.000 So how this Perry thing all started was Felder's opponent got hurt.

00:02:08.000 I called to fight Gaethje because Vic got hurt.

00:02:12.000 So I was like, I'll go to 55, fight Gaethje.

00:02:16.000 Crazy shit just happened.

00:02:18.000 And then the Perry fight, they offered me and I called Perry.

00:02:20.000 I said, hey man, I know we're training together, but this is 10 days notice.

00:02:24.000 He's like, fuck yeah, man.

00:02:24.000 Let's do this.

00:02:25.000 It'd be great.

00:02:25.000 Let's do this.

00:02:26.000 So that's how that started.

00:02:28.000 And then I didn't get to fight.

00:02:29.000 That was the end of it.

00:02:30.000 For me, I went to USC to go back to 155. Then all of a sudden he's calling me out.

00:02:33.000 Yeah.

00:02:34.000 Felder winds up fighting Perry.

00:02:35.000 You were going to fight Perry, or you were at least thinking about it.

00:02:38.000 Yeah, I was in the mix, but I didn't get cleared because I had stitches because I just fought, what, I don't know, 10 days before.

00:02:48.000 Plus, I was in the hospital having my new son, so it was kind of a weird time for everything, but it was wild.

00:02:54.000 Wild, wild shit, and now I'm fighting Perry November 10th in Denver.

00:02:58.000 Well...

00:03:00.000 What was going to happen was Jackson and Winkle John were supposed to be here today.

00:03:07.000 Right.

00:03:08.000 Well, you had...

00:03:10.000 I mean, you've been with them for how long?

00:03:14.000 Man, I want to say...

00:03:18.000 Before my WC days, so I went on...

00:03:21.000 More than 10 years.

00:03:22.000 Yeah, easily.

00:03:23.000 Yeah.

00:03:24.000 Easily more than 10 years.

00:03:25.000 I don't think there's another athlete there that's been there longer, besides Diego Sanchez, who's been there since the beginning, but...

00:03:33.000 Diego left for a little while.

00:03:34.000 Left for a little while, came back.

00:03:36.000 Yeah.

00:03:37.000 So me, you know, Holly, but she was with Wink before they merged.

00:03:40.000 So, but like with actually Jackson, Jackson, I'm like there.

00:03:44.000 I'm like the one.

00:03:45.000 I'm like it.

00:03:46.000 You know, everyone else kind of either left the gym or is retired.

00:03:51.000 So...

00:03:52.000 What the fuck happened?

00:03:53.000 Like, how did they decide that they were going to corner Mike Perry, who, by the way, I like a lot.

00:03:57.000 And I have nothing against to say Perry either.

00:04:00.000 This has nothing to do with Perry.

00:04:02.000 He's a fun dude.

00:04:03.000 I like that guy a lot.

00:04:04.000 I have no problem with him.

00:04:05.000 I mean, I took him on the boat, took him shooting with me, and when he was down there, part of the action, you know, Frank Lester, who's helping him with his pads, a friend of mine, you know, so he comes out shooting with me.

00:04:14.000 We go out on the boat and have fun, and So this has nothing to do with them.

00:04:18.000 I just asked when I went to go to 55 and Perry called me out and wants to fight.

00:04:23.000 Sure, no problem.

00:04:24.000 But I went to talk to Greg and Wink and say, hey, this guy's brand new to the gym.

00:04:30.000 He's only been here one camp, a couple of months.

00:04:32.000 I said, I don't think that it's okay for him to come in and call me out.

00:04:37.000 That's not right.

00:04:39.000 So if he is doing that, I don't think we should allow him to train here for this fight.

00:04:44.000 Fucking Winklejohn tells me, yeah, you know, I thought you called him out and he's just a shit ass and lies to your face.

00:04:53.000 So to me, he was like, yeah, sure, no problem.

00:04:54.000 I'll clear it up and we won't have any issues.

00:04:57.000 And then the next day he calls me on the phone and says, you know what?

00:05:02.000 I thought about it.

00:05:04.000 We don't have Perry, then I don't get paid, and I need to get paid for this fight, and because you just pay Greg, I don't make any money through the gym, so we're just going to go with him, and then basically tells me I'm no longer welcome in the gym.

00:05:17.000 He is.

00:05:17.000 He said, the team had a meeting.

00:05:18.000 Bullshit, the team didn't have a meeting.

00:05:20.000 I talked to everybody.

00:05:21.000 I mean, there was no meeting.

00:05:22.000 So to me, it's like the loyalty of Wink taking over this gym is just shit, man.

00:05:28.000 Turned into like a puppy mill.

00:05:29.000 It's all about money now and not the old Jackson.

00:05:32.000 When I used to work out, we're just getting into this, I guess, huh?

00:05:36.000 Start chugging.

00:05:36.000 All right.

00:05:37.000 Start chugging.

00:05:37.000 Shit.

00:05:38.000 Back when I first moved down here and I went to Greg's, When the Tap Out guys picked me up and introduced me and all that, right?

00:05:47.000 Back when you were on the Tap Out show.

00:05:48.000 Remember that?

00:05:49.000 That reality show.

00:05:50.000 Well, Mask called Greg and got me.

00:05:52.000 That's how I got involved with them, right?

00:05:54.000 Motherfucker.

00:05:54.000 I...

00:06:01.000 I left.

00:06:03.000 Leonard Garcia was fighting Roger Wartner, one of my best friends.

00:06:06.000 Roger, what a fight that was, by the way.

00:06:08.000 Goddamn, right?

00:06:09.000 Motherfucking Mexican.

00:06:10.000 Damn!

00:06:10.000 People forgot.

00:06:11.000 People forgot about that fight.

00:06:12.000 Dude!

00:06:12.000 Go to Fight Pass.

00:06:13.000 Check that one out.

00:06:14.000 Yeah, right.

00:06:15.000 Bring that up.

00:06:17.000 Leonard's still the wildest dude I've ever met.

00:06:19.000 So do I, man.

00:06:19.000 I love that guy.

00:06:20.000 And so he calls me like, I need you to come down for a week.

00:06:23.000 Come for one week.

00:06:24.000 Help me get ready for Roger.

00:06:25.000 He took the fight on like three weeks note.

00:06:27.000 Something outlandish, just like me and Leonard do, right?

00:06:30.000 So...

00:06:31.000 I go down there.

00:06:32.000 I literally never left.

00:06:34.000 When I went down, first day I walked into Jackson's in Rashad, Keith, St. Pierre, Joe Daddy Stevenson.

00:06:43.000 I mean, the list goes on and on and on.

00:06:45.000 And I was like, wow, this is what a real gym is like?

00:06:48.000 This is what...

00:06:49.000 And they all accepted me.

00:06:50.000 I was like in the family, right?

00:06:52.000 I owned a house in Denver.

00:06:54.000 I called my grandma and said, I'm never coming home.

00:06:55.000 I'm staying here.

00:06:57.000 Sell the house, right?

00:06:57.000 Okay.

00:06:59.000 And I literally never went home.

00:07:00.000 She would just slowly come down and visit me and bring me truckloads of shit.

00:07:04.000 Right?

00:07:05.000 Literally.

00:07:06.000 I lived in a closet.

00:07:08.000 Man.

00:07:10.000 Fuck, a third as big as this room?

00:07:12.000 We had a bunk bed, me and Leonard.

00:07:13.000 And if one person was standing up, the other person had to be in the bed.

00:07:16.000 That's how small this room was.

00:07:18.000 And I lived there for two years above Jackson's and would train every day with him.

00:07:22.000 And like I said, I never left.

00:07:24.000 And Greg asked me, he sat me down after about, I don't know, a couple weeks of being there.

00:07:28.000 He said, man, I want you to be my 55er.

00:07:30.000 And at that time, the list of 55ers were nuts that he had.

00:07:34.000 And I was like, wow, fuck, Greg Jackson, who at the time...

00:07:40.000 The gym was 90% winning rate.

00:07:45.000 He's such a knowledgeable, awesome dude, man.

00:07:49.000 To see where the gym was to where the gym is now is...

00:07:54.000 It's heartbreaking to me, to be honest.

00:07:56.000 You want to talk about loyalty, which is the biggest thing in this conversation that we're having right now, is how they pick someone over me through being loyal.

00:08:03.000 I stuck by Greg, even when the gym started going down.

00:08:07.000 When Winklejohn merged over...

00:08:10.000 All the big pros left, it turned into like a puppy mill.

00:08:14.000 Back when Greg had it and it was its own school, you couldn't turn up to a pro class.

00:08:20.000 Some guy couldn't just come here and knock on your door.

00:08:22.000 Like you say, you get weirdos here all the time.

00:08:24.000 Next thing you know, he has shin pads on and he's sparring.

00:08:27.000 There's literally at the new gym, bums come in off the street.

00:08:29.000 I swear to God, and we'll come in and put stuff on a fight.

00:08:32.000 That's a true story.

00:08:34.000 Random bums off the street.

00:08:37.000 And that would never happen back in the day.

00:08:39.000 So, Greg doesn't run it anymore?

00:08:40.000 No.

00:08:41.000 He's like so out of the loop.

00:08:43.000 Winklejohn runs the entire thing.

00:08:45.000 What is Greg doing?

00:08:46.000 He kind of stepped back for a couple years, man.

00:08:48.000 Like, kind of started doing other things and just kind of got burned out, I guess.

00:08:53.000 Which is why I created the BMF Ranch.

00:08:56.000 I needed somewhere to go and something to do.

00:08:59.000 So, I created my place.

00:09:00.000 Which is Wink's argument with me right now saying, you be at your own place.

00:09:03.000 You don't ever come here, blah, blah, blah.

00:09:07.000 The people you let in here is outlandish.

00:09:09.000 You pay $150, you can get on the mats and spar with Holly Holmes.

00:09:15.000 That's what it's come to down there.

00:09:17.000 Back in the day, it was private and just us and good pros.

00:09:20.000 Everyone there for the same mission, trying to get better.

00:09:23.000 I've talked to some other people that I don't want to name, but they've said that when they go down there, new guys will come in and it's literally a fight.

00:09:30.000 It's a fight.

00:09:31.000 There's no A, B, C class anymore.

00:09:36.000 It's literally, these guys come in, they want to make a name on you.

00:09:38.000 But sometimes when you're towards the end of a fight camp, you don't need those new guys.

00:09:42.000 You don't need that crazy sparring.

00:09:44.000 Right.

00:09:44.000 You need the guys you trust.

00:09:46.000 Right.

00:09:47.000 Not some random guy I don't know.

00:09:49.000 Right.

00:09:51.000 It's just asinine to me, man, what they turn that place into.

00:09:54.000 It's crazy that that still happens in MMA because you're never going to find that in boxing.

00:09:58.000 In boxing, all sparring is controlled.

00:10:00.000 You bring in the sparring partners.

00:10:02.000 You know who you're working with.

00:10:03.000 So, I mean, we talk loyalty again.

00:10:07.000 To me, with Greg, his name is on that building.

00:10:10.000 It's Wink, Jackson Wink, right?

00:10:13.000 Jackson fucking Wink.

00:10:14.000 Your name's first even.

00:10:16.000 When it came time to pick the decision and they said, we want to go with Perry.

00:10:21.000 Why the fuck didn't you stand?

00:10:23.000 Because Greg's still with me.

00:10:24.000 He's like, yeah, I'll just come to the ranch and we'll sort this out.

00:10:27.000 And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

00:10:30.000 You tell me I can't come into the Jackson Wink gym, but you're going to backdoor and come to my fucking house.

00:10:35.000 And we're going to train to fight me while Perry's there at the gym.

00:10:38.000 You see everything he does.

00:10:39.000 And then you're going to come and you're going to train me.

00:10:42.000 Not to mention, you're holding classes there and he's watching.

00:10:45.000 I mean, you might not be training him to beat me, but there's a lot of people there that have trained me for fucking years.

00:10:51.000 So, to me, that was the point I was saying.

00:10:53.000 Like, man, can we just not have him there for this camp?

00:10:55.000 I mean, there's a lot of secrets that I... That, like, inner secrets that I have.

00:11:00.000 Like...

00:11:01.000 I'm fucking scared to death to fight.

00:11:03.000 That's the thing that they can tell him.

00:11:05.000 Or they tell him, you know, go get cowboy mad.

00:11:08.000 He doesn't fight well when he's pissed off.

00:11:10.000 So fucking piss him off.

00:11:11.000 Poke the bear.

00:11:11.000 Poke at him.

00:11:12.000 Piss him off.

00:11:12.000 Get him out of his helmet.

00:11:14.000 Shit like this.

00:11:15.000 Right?

00:11:15.000 Yeah.

00:11:16.000 And there's a lot of other things, small, dumb things that I do.

00:11:19.000 Tendencies that they've seen over a decade.

00:11:22.000 Yeah, right?

00:11:23.000 Yeah.

00:11:24.000 To me, that's...

00:11:25.000 It's very intimate.

00:11:27.000 The relationship between a coach and a fighter is very intense.

00:11:31.000 So for someone to violate that in that way...

00:11:34.000 And, you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with guys from a camp deciding to fight each other.

00:11:38.000 And you've got to work that out.

00:11:39.000 But for them to tell you that you can't train...

00:11:43.000 I agree with you.

00:11:43.000 We'll figure it out.

00:11:45.000 All right, Carlos, you go that way.

00:11:47.000 These are your times, your hours.

00:11:49.000 Respect each other, friends, training partners.

00:11:53.000 The new guy who just came in, like I said, nothing against Perry.

00:11:55.000 He wants a home.

00:11:57.000 He felt like Jackson's his favorite.

00:11:59.000 He's great.

00:11:59.000 I like that guy a lot.

00:12:00.000 It's not him.

00:12:01.000 I mean, what is he going to do?

00:12:02.000 Right.

00:12:03.000 And I just said, hey, Frank was going to go and train with him wherever he I heard stories he was looking to go to Vegas anyway.

00:12:11.000 I don't have any idea, man.

00:12:13.000 I was just like, man, can we just not do it for this fight?

00:12:16.000 And then Winkle John called me on the phone.

00:12:18.000 Didn't he have the fucking balls or the backbone to say it to my fucking face?

00:12:21.000 And I was right there with him.

00:12:23.000 Called me on the phone like, oh, yeah, we're actually gonna...

00:12:28.000 Oh, go with Perry.

00:12:30.000 You know, he pays money.

00:12:31.000 Again, it comes back to the money.

00:12:33.000 I'm like...

00:12:34.000 So Perry pays him a percentage and you don't?

00:12:36.000 I only pay Greg.

00:12:37.000 For my entire career I've ever been there because I don't like Winklejohn's style.

00:12:41.000 I don't like his way he holds mitts.

00:12:43.000 I don't like the way he trains people.

00:12:44.000 What's different about what he does?

00:12:46.000 It's the same thing for you, for me, for John, Sam.

00:12:50.000 It's the cookie cutter.

00:12:52.000 Everything's got to the same.

00:12:53.000 And it never changes.

00:12:55.000 It's...

00:12:56.000 I don't understand how you could be a coach of one of the greatest, at one time, the greatest gyms on the planet, you know?

00:13:02.000 And then don't ever evolve, don't ever change, and don't run class.

00:13:06.000 And to me, it's...

00:13:09.000 He just drove that place into the ground, man.

00:13:11.000 Literally turned it into a puppy mill.

00:13:12.000 It's only about making money.

00:13:14.000 And for you guys, I'm talking about a puppy mill.

00:13:15.000 When someone has a dog and they just fucking breed it and sell puppies and breed it and sell puppies, that's what's happening.

00:13:21.000 That's the infrastructure of this gym.

00:13:23.000 Now, let's talk about training there.

00:13:25.000 Let's talk about coaching, right?

00:13:26.000 Greg's supposed to be the general, right?

00:13:29.000 I'm just a soldier.

00:13:31.000 How come I have to be now a general and a soldier?

00:13:33.000 That's what's fucking up in my career.

00:13:37.000 I need someone to tell me what to do, tell me what not to do.

00:13:40.000 And I had to start my own school at the ranch, bring in my own coaches, but now I'm making all the executive decisions.

00:13:47.000 When we're training, what we're training, what we're doing.

00:13:50.000 And I'm no longer just a soldier.

00:13:52.000 I'm having to fucking run this whole thing.

00:13:55.000 That's a problem for fighters.

00:13:57.000 It's a problem for me, too.

00:13:58.000 I'm a fucking super alpha male.

00:14:00.000 And I like to communicate with my coaches and get everything done.

00:14:03.000 And the guys I have are fucking standing by me.

00:14:04.000 And I love them to death.

00:14:05.000 But I need someone to be like, you know what?

00:14:07.000 You crazy fucking bastard.

00:14:09.000 You're going too hard.

00:14:10.000 You're going too hard.

00:14:10.000 You need to taper off.

00:14:10.000 Let's taper off.

00:14:11.000 Let's pump the brake.

00:14:12.000 Or let's pick it up.

00:14:13.000 The fucking fun, fuck-off part of your life is taking over into your training.

00:14:18.000 Can we step it up a little bit?

00:14:19.000 I need that.

00:14:20.000 I need fucking direction.

00:14:21.000 I need today we're working on this.

00:14:22.000 Not just me going in there saying...

00:14:26.000 Let's fucking wrestle today.

00:14:28.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:14:31.000 You know what to do, but it's also nice for someone else who knows what to do who's completely objective to stand on the outside.

00:14:38.000 Because I'm in this so long.

00:14:40.000 I could literally, Joe, never spar from now until the Perry fight and probably not even do one jiu-jitsu role and I would be okay to fight mentally.

00:14:49.000 But that's probably not a very smart idea, right?

00:14:52.000 It's not you at your optimum.

00:14:54.000 Exactly.

00:14:55.000 Um, so it's just, it's fucking asinine to me and the coaches down there.

00:15:00.000 So not only can somebody just ring the doorbell and show up and train, pay the money, you can pay the $25 to drop in or you pay the $150 the month, come to any class you want.

00:15:08.000 But if you're a coach, you can just coach the class.

00:15:12.000 It's that asinine to you.

00:15:14.000 I see a new striking coach or a new wrestling coach or a new jujitsu guy in there twice a week probably.

00:15:20.000 And they're coaching the class.

00:15:21.000 Our main wrestling coach of Jackson Wing, the greatest school in the fucking world, is a reception to a chiropractic upstairs.

00:15:32.000 He's greatest credentials, whereas he was a junior assistant coach at a college, don't know the college name, who got fired for selling the kids steroids.

00:15:41.000 That's our wrestling coach at one of the greatest schools in the world.

00:15:44.000 Is he a good coach?

00:15:45.000 No, he's terrible.

00:15:45.000 He's fucking god-awful terrible.

00:15:47.000 He watches videos on YouTube and tries to teach people things that don't even fucking work.

00:15:52.000 It's asinine.

00:15:53.000 Which is another reason why I had to hire my own coach and bring him in.

00:15:56.000 You know, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, what?

00:15:59.000 And now, they don't even drill, they just go live and they want to know why people get hurt every day.

00:16:04.000 It's like, you can't just go in and say, okay, and we're wrestling, go!

00:16:07.000 So do you think that people just get burnt out on doing things the right way and they just figure, look, I'm just going to do this the way that makes the most money?

00:16:15.000 Well, I think...

00:16:16.000 And I wish I had the answer for that.

00:16:20.000 I do because I'm not in that position to...

00:16:22.000 I'm not running a gym and I've never done that because I don't want...

00:16:25.000 Me showing up to class every single day would wear me the fuck out.

00:16:27.000 Yeah.

00:16:28.000 It wears everybody out.

00:16:28.000 It's got to.

00:16:29.000 Yeah.

00:16:29.000 But you should have an infrastructure set in place that takes...

00:16:32.000 Especially if...

00:16:34.000 You're the greatest at one time, right?

00:16:36.000 If your winning percentages are in the 80s and 90s and now they're in the 20s, I have no clue what our rating record of the gym is, but it's nothing like it used to be, right?

00:16:47.000 Yeah.

00:16:47.000 And it's fucking...

00:16:50.000 It's asinine to me, man.

00:16:51.000 So the way you were doing is that you have the BMF ranch.

00:16:54.000 Correct.

00:16:54.000 You have everything set up.

00:16:55.000 You bring in all your sparring partners, and you would be doing all your training out there.

00:16:58.000 And how would Greg interact with that?

00:17:00.000 We'd either show up down at Jackson's and spar, because there's still bodies down there, right?

00:17:04.000 There's still guys.

00:17:05.000 We'd show up down at spar.

00:17:06.000 We'd bring all the guys down.

00:17:07.000 Or Greg would come up three or four times a week to the ranch.

00:17:10.000 And how far is your ranch from?

00:17:11.000 50 miles, about.

00:17:12.000 Okay.

00:17:13.000 A good hour, solid hour drive into the vast Nolans of New Mexico.

00:17:18.000 New Mexico, yeah.

00:17:19.000 Do you like living out there?

00:17:20.000 I do.

00:17:20.000 I love it.

00:17:21.000 I fucking love it.

00:17:23.000 So, I sold my house.

00:17:24.000 I moved here.

00:17:25.000 I fucking planted roots.

00:17:27.000 Now, I could never, ever sell my place.

00:17:30.000 I'm stuck in New Mexico.

00:17:31.000 I'm moving back to Colorado.

00:17:32.000 Why could you never sell it?

00:17:34.000 Because I have to sell to like a crazy cult leader.

00:17:36.000 So, if anybody out there listening wants to operate a cult, I have the...

00:17:39.000 Are you talking to one right now?

00:17:40.000 I have the...

00:17:41.000 I have a perfect house.

00:17:42.000 Talk to me about what kind of acreage you talk about.

00:17:44.000 We've got 40 acres, plenty of rooms, buildings.

00:17:48.000 What kind of animals are in your vicinity?

00:17:52.000 This might be where we start.

00:17:54.000 There's about an hour drive.

00:17:55.000 You can run into some elk.

00:17:56.000 We've got antelope.

00:18:00.000 Everywhere, which is the crazy thing about antelope.

00:18:01.000 You know they don't jump fences.

00:18:03.000 Yeah, they won't jump fences.

00:18:04.000 It's crazy, right?

00:18:04.000 You could just literally corner them into a...

00:18:07.000 They occasionally jump a fence.

00:18:09.000 They've been known to jump a fence occasionally.

00:18:10.000 It was very, very rare.

00:18:13.000 You know they evolved before the Ice Age?

00:18:16.000 They evolved to get away from cheetahs.

00:18:18.000 How are you so smart?

00:18:19.000 That's what I want to know.

00:18:20.000 I'm not smart.

00:18:20.000 I just remember things.

00:18:21.000 Dude, it's fucking insane.

00:18:23.000 There was a mass extinction of giant land mammals.

00:18:27.000 It's somewhere around 12,000 years ago in North America.

00:18:30.000 And before then, there was cheetahs.

00:18:32.000 There was actual North American cheetahs.

00:18:34.000 Right.

00:18:34.000 There was a North American lion that's bigger than the African lion.

00:18:37.000 How about that shit?

00:18:38.000 Giant ass fucking lion.

00:18:40.000 And that's where these fucking things evolve.

00:18:42.000 Did you want another chew?

00:18:43.000 Yeah, I'm going to try that shit.

00:18:44.000 I swallowed it last time.

00:18:47.000 That's the only...

00:18:48.000 That's mainly...

00:18:48.000 Whenever I meet people for autographs, they're like, dude, I can't believe you got Rogan to fucking take a chew.

00:18:52.000 Not just take it.

00:18:53.000 I swallowed it.

00:18:54.000 I didn't know what I was doing.

00:18:55.000 Like a man!

00:18:57.000 Yeah.

00:18:57.000 Alright, round two.

00:18:58.000 Here we go.

00:18:59.000 Round two.

00:19:04.000 What kind is this?

00:19:05.000 So good.

00:19:06.000 It's Wintergreen Copenhagen.

00:19:08.000 Under your chin, right?

00:19:09.000 Under your lip.

00:19:11.000 It's under your chin.

00:19:12.000 You can put it under your chin if you want.

00:19:14.000 Yeah, take just a little one.

00:19:16.000 Too late.

00:19:17.000 Too late.

00:19:18.000 Take a giant one.

00:19:19.000 Take a big old upper liver.

00:19:23.000 So, there's that.

00:19:25.000 There's turkeys out there.

00:19:28.000 I love turkey.

00:19:29.000 I'm a bird hunting fanatic, man.

00:19:31.000 I love birds.

00:19:33.000 How many acres you got out there?

00:19:34.000 40 acres.

00:19:35.000 Oh, wow.

00:19:35.000 That's nice.

00:19:36.000 Do you have a mule, too?

00:19:37.000 40 acres and a mule, remember?

00:19:40.000 But birds, I'm like a bird junkie.

00:19:43.000 How'd you find that spot?

00:19:46.000 So when I moved out there, and after I was in the gym for like a year and a half with Leonard, I was like, bro.

00:19:54.000 You're like winning a bunch of UFC fights now.

00:19:56.000 I'm in the WC. We're starting to get a little bit of money.

00:20:00.000 Let's get a house together, right?

00:20:02.000 Let's find a house.

00:20:04.000 So I started looking kind of in the remote areas around where I knew I could commute in, but I wanted somewhere I could ride my dirt bike, shoot guns, just be cowboy.

00:20:12.000 And we found that place.

00:20:15.000 And I called my grandpa.

00:20:17.000 And I said, hey, I think I found a house.

00:20:20.000 And he said, I'll be right there.

00:20:22.000 And him and my grandma drove.

00:20:24.000 And he walked up to the lady and he handed her an envelope full of cash and said, we'll take it.

00:20:32.000 Just like that.

00:20:33.000 Wow.

00:20:34.000 Yeah, it was probably $60,000 or $70,000 less than they were asking, but he had real cash.

00:20:40.000 Real cash.

00:20:41.000 I said, we'll take it.

00:20:43.000 My grandson wants it and we'll take it.

00:20:47.000 Wow.

00:20:48.000 And I was like, oh, I was just showing like Okay.

00:20:53.000 Thanks.

00:20:54.000 Grab them up.

00:20:55.000 Right?

00:20:56.000 He just bought me a house?

00:20:58.000 And he believed in me.

00:21:00.000 No matter what I did, I used to be a magician.

00:21:02.000 I used to love magic, right?

00:21:04.000 So he'd always buy me magic shit and sit there and watch me do it.

00:21:07.000 He was such a fucking cool dude, man.

00:21:09.000 He used to do magic?

00:21:10.000 Mm-hmm.

00:21:11.000 Did you ever do shows?

00:21:12.000 No, no.

00:21:12.000 I mean, I was like 12, 13. I would do shows to my grandma and grandpa and my friends.

00:21:18.000 And I still have like a toolbox full of magic stuff.

00:21:20.000 I should bust it out and bring it out here one time.

00:21:22.000 There's some cool, cool things.

00:21:23.000 Are you good at it?

00:21:26.000 Not like good.

00:21:28.000 Like you wouldn't be like, whoa!

00:21:30.000 But there's some, some of the sleight of hand stuff is pretty fun.

00:21:33.000 And like the coin magic is good.

00:21:35.000 How do you keep this shit from going in your mouth?

00:21:38.000 Because for me, it doesn't seem to want to stay put.

00:21:41.000 Well, you keep drinking on top of it.

00:21:42.000 You got to bury it with your tongue and then drink over it.

00:21:48.000 I fucking love it.

00:21:50.000 So, yeah.

00:21:53.000 Greatest dude, man.

00:21:55.000 Taught me a lot.

00:21:55.000 Taught me a lot about loyalty and respect, man.

00:21:57.000 And I called my grandma on my way here today.

00:22:01.000 And I said, I'm going to fucking set fire to this bridge to Jackson's.

00:22:05.000 And she wrote me back and said, well, you need to like...

00:22:10.000 Are you attacking them logically or are you out of anger?

00:22:14.000 Which direction are we going here?

00:22:16.000 Powerful grandma.

00:22:17.000 Right?

00:22:18.000 On the ball.

00:22:19.000 Which direction are we going?

00:22:21.000 And she said...

00:22:26.000 You're going to start spitting soon, huh?

00:22:27.000 Yeah, you definitely got to spit.

00:22:29.000 She said, make sure...

00:22:31.000 You know, always in life, don't ever paint yourself into a corner.

00:22:34.000 Like, these are major lessons.

00:22:36.000 Don't burn bridges you can't cross.

00:22:38.000 But she told me today, fucking let it go.

00:22:42.000 Let them have it.

00:22:43.000 They want to step across the line.

00:22:45.000 They do the lie in the sand.

00:22:46.000 Let them want to burn their own.

00:22:48.000 Make them feel so bad they want to burn their own fucking gym to the ground, you know?

00:22:52.000 It's like...

00:22:53.000 To me, having the moment for Greg to say, you know what, Wink?

00:22:57.000 My name's on this fucking gym.

00:22:59.000 Cowboy's been with me from the start.

00:23:01.000 There's been times, two or three camps ago, where I've trained Greg maybe one or two times, and I still write him a check.

00:23:07.000 I still write him a check, and I pay him because he got me into this motherfucker, and loyalty to me is the top of the line thing, right?

00:23:17.000 It's top of the line to me, too.

00:23:18.000 That's why you're here.

00:23:19.000 Right.

00:23:20.000 And that's why they're not.

00:23:22.000 And, you know, and it's unfortunate because I like Greg a lot.

00:23:25.000 I love Greg.

00:23:26.000 I don't know much about Winklejohn other than his work.

00:23:28.000 Right.

00:23:28.000 What he's done with Holly and a lot of other people.

00:23:31.000 And I was real torn up about this.

00:23:33.000 That's why I contacted you.

00:23:34.000 Sure, sure.

00:23:35.000 You know, when you told me that they were- This is like a crazy scenario all around for everybody across the board.

00:23:41.000 Like, wait, what do you- Like, what?

00:23:42.000 What the fuck do you mean?

00:23:43.000 What's happening here?

00:23:44.000 Yeah.

00:23:45.000 You know, and- It's crazy.

00:23:49.000 It's wild.

00:23:49.000 I appreciate you sticking by my side.

00:23:52.000 Well, it was a situation where I didn't know what to do.

00:23:55.000 I was like, I can't just ignore it.

00:24:00.000 I would have to bring it up when they were here, and then I wouldn't get a full representation of it.

00:24:04.000 Sure.

00:24:05.000 I mean, do you feel like you're getting a full representation?

00:24:10.000 I love it.

00:24:11.000 I think I've got to figure out how to do this right.

00:24:13.000 It's a skill you learn how to tuck it in your...

00:24:16.000 It's all over the place.

00:24:17.000 It's in my mouth.

00:24:18.000 Mine is in a little ball right here.

00:24:19.000 I don't know.

00:24:20.000 Mine is not.

00:24:23.000 Mine is not controlled.

00:24:24.000 I'm going to wind up swallowing this again.

00:24:25.000 So if your name's on the thing, like...

00:24:28.000 Right?

00:24:29.000 There you go.

00:24:29.000 Spit it out.

00:24:31.000 I just don't have any control.

00:24:32.000 Now you've got to open another beer and wrench it.

00:24:34.000 You've got to give it a wrench.

00:24:36.000 A wrench?

00:24:36.000 Yeah.

00:24:38.000 Oh, rinse.

00:24:38.000 Yeah.

00:24:39.000 I thought you said wrench it.

00:24:40.000 Yeah, open a beer, rinse it out, spit it out, that way you don't get any more swallowed.

00:24:43.000 That way you're not sick again.

00:24:44.000 I wasn't sick last time.

00:24:45.000 I was fine.

00:24:46.000 Good.

00:24:46.000 It was weird.

00:24:47.000 I swallowed the whole thing.

00:24:51.000 Fuck yeah.

00:24:53.000 I missed you, man.

00:24:54.000 I missed you.

00:24:55.000 It's been a while.

00:24:57.000 So much has happened.

00:24:58.000 I'm glad we got that kind of out of the way.

00:25:00.000 I'm sure I'll circle back when I drink a little bit more.

00:25:01.000 Yeah, I'm sure too.

00:25:03.000 It's unfortunate.

00:25:04.000 And I know what it must be like to try to keep the lights on in a big gym.

00:25:08.000 And now they have dorms.

00:25:09.000 It's huge.

00:25:10.000 Giant-ass place.

00:25:11.000 Huge overhead, I'm sure.

00:25:12.000 All these people coming in, coming out.

00:25:14.000 And then you know how fighters are.

00:25:15.000 Not you, but some fighters.

00:25:16.000 They don't give a fuck about loyalty.

00:25:18.000 They just care about themselves.

00:25:19.000 They're on their path.

00:25:20.000 It's a very solid...

00:25:22.000 And selfish.

00:25:23.000 A very selfish sport.

00:25:24.000 You kind of have to be, right?

00:25:25.000 Yeah.

00:25:25.000 And I think that's kind of where the team got...

00:25:29.000 Cowboys are really selfish.

00:25:30.000 He has his own gym now.

00:25:31.000 Well, I had to.

00:25:32.000 I fucking had to, man, for the better of my family and me.

00:25:36.000 I had to keep evolving.

00:25:38.000 I couldn't spiral down this drain with you guys.

00:25:41.000 Now Michelle Watterson just built a new gym.

00:25:43.000 She's doing the same thing in her backyard.

00:25:45.000 Love her to death.

00:25:46.000 She's doing that too?

00:25:47.000 Doing it too.

00:25:47.000 Her and her husband built a badass little gym.

00:25:50.000 All sponsored by Onnit.

00:25:51.000 Really?

00:25:52.000 Yeah, it's bitching, man.

00:25:53.000 It's cool.

00:25:54.000 Yeah, good for her.

00:25:55.000 Yeah, Michelle, whoop, whoop.

00:25:57.000 You know?

00:25:58.000 But if you look at the track record since Wink has taken over, the gym, everyone's left.

00:26:02.000 I mean, it's like you don't see a pattern here, Wink.

00:26:06.000 Like, maybe you should change something up or...

00:26:08.000 Just not allowing him.

00:26:09.000 Well, he's been fighting for a long time.

00:26:11.000 Sure.

00:26:12.000 And then training for a long time.

00:26:14.000 I mean, he was a badass kickboxer before he ever got into training.

00:26:18.000 And, you know, I think one of the things that happens with people, they just get this whole selfishness of the sport.

00:26:25.000 It wears people down to a certain extent.

00:26:27.000 There's camaraderie, but there's also selfishness.

00:26:29.000 And they're all constantly going against each other.

00:26:31.000 Sure.

00:26:32.000 Sure.

00:26:32.000 And, you know, having a gym like that, the expenses, the overhead, and then, you know, dealing with people that are just grabbing, grabbing, grabbing, it's just, it's got to get overwhelming.

00:26:41.000 And you see a guy like Mike Perry, who, you know, is a potential big star.

00:26:46.000 He's a colorful kid.

00:26:47.000 He's a knockout artist.

00:26:48.000 He fucking loves to fight.

00:26:50.000 If I was a coach, I'd be like, this is the kind of guy I want in my gym.

00:26:54.000 He's a fucking animal.

00:26:56.000 It's a great asset.

00:26:58.000 I'm super excited to fight him because this is one of those fights where we're going to go in the middle of the ring and we're going to fucking fight.

00:27:06.000 The old school fucking let's fight.

00:27:11.000 I'm pumped on it.

00:27:12.000 I love the kid.

00:27:13.000 He's cool.

00:27:14.000 He's crazy.

00:27:15.000 Him and I would get along just crazy.

00:27:17.000 Yeah.

00:27:17.000 We do.

00:27:18.000 So, I got nothing, like I said, nothing about him or Frank.

00:27:20.000 Frank is coach who...

00:27:22.000 Well, that's...

00:27:23.000 Perry's working with Frank, another striking coach, who...

00:27:26.000 Frank Lester.

00:27:27.000 Lester, who is holding the infrastructure of the gym together almost single-handedly.

00:27:34.000 You know, there's a couple of wrestling guys.

00:27:36.000 Is Brandon Gibson still there?

00:27:38.000 Yeah, Brandon still there.

00:27:39.000 Brandon has a full-time job, just got promoted again in his government job.

00:27:44.000 He has like a real government job.

00:27:45.000 Is that a job job?

00:27:46.000 On top of being a big-time trainer?

00:27:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:48.000 How the fuck does he do that?

00:27:50.000 Man, I have no idea.

00:27:53.000 He has like a 9-6 job.

00:27:56.000 Maybe 7-6 job.

00:27:58.000 Really?

00:27:58.000 He's every morning up early, take care of his family.

00:28:01.000 He's a great dude.

00:28:02.000 I got nothing bad.

00:28:03.000 Nothing but love for Brandon Gibson, man.

00:28:04.000 Him and I just separate only because I just want a different angle of striking.

00:28:10.000 It had nothing to do with, he's a bad coach, I lost my fight, I'm firing you.

00:28:15.000 It's Just fucking, just trying something new.

00:28:18.000 Just trying something new, that's all.

00:28:20.000 But yes, Gibson kind of just works, you know, with John Dotson, with Condit.

00:28:26.000 I mean, he doesn't have the time to go in there and just hold that gym together.

00:28:30.000 So he actually has a real job and he just got another promotion.

00:28:34.000 So he's like the top of the, he started off as a lifeguard, worked his way all the way up to the city.

00:28:38.000 Now he's damn near governor.

00:28:42.000 I think that's next.

00:28:43.000 Governor is next.

00:28:44.000 It's not hard.

00:28:45.000 I had Gary Johnson in here.

00:28:46.000 I think I could be governor of New Mexico.

00:28:48.000 No offense, Gary.

00:28:50.000 Well, let's legalize pot and mushrooms.

00:28:52.000 Is it not legal there?

00:28:54.000 It's recreational.

00:28:55.000 I mean, it's medical.

00:28:56.000 You gotta have AIDS. Yeah.

00:28:58.000 Is it one of those places?

00:28:59.000 It's one of those places.

00:28:59.000 You gotta have AIDS. This is a lot of places where you gotta have AIDS. It used to be a lot of places, but Vegas used to be like that.

00:29:07.000 Now Vegas is Lucy Goose.

00:29:08.000 Open wide.

00:29:10.000 Vegas has got full-on dispensaries.

00:29:12.000 Man.

00:29:13.000 Fucking Vegas, man.

00:29:14.000 Vegas is definitely a two-night town, man.

00:29:16.000 Yeah, it's rough on the liver.

00:29:18.000 It's rough on everything.

00:29:19.000 It just takes you the fuck in, man.

00:29:22.000 I was just there last night.

00:29:23.000 I was out there for a big monster conference, and it's just like, you sit in your room, you're like, well, I could just go down and...

00:29:31.000 Gamble, I guess.

00:29:32.000 And then you start gambling.

00:29:33.000 Have you ever played Baccarat?

00:29:34.000 I don't play shit.

00:29:35.000 I have never either.

00:29:36.000 And I decided...

00:29:37.000 We tried Baccarat.

00:29:38.000 Like, 007. I was like, we'll be like 007. We'll go in there.

00:29:41.000 I played with one of the higher-ups in Monster.

00:29:44.000 And he took us down and we played this game.

00:29:45.000 And...

00:29:47.000 Fuck, we want a shitload of money.

00:29:49.000 A shitload of money.

00:29:51.000 That's the trick.

00:29:52.000 Yeah.

00:29:53.000 Yeah, I'll take some of that.

00:29:54.000 I don't really smoke much pot, but I'll do it just because I'm with you.

00:29:57.000 Take care of that.

00:29:58.000 They grew that on the moon.

00:30:00.000 I saw a video of him breakdancing the other night.

00:30:02.000 He breakdanced?

00:30:03.000 I do.

00:30:04.000 I used to.

00:30:04.000 I used to really breakdance.

00:30:06.000 So I'm at the Monster Conference.

00:30:08.000 I'm at the Monster Conference and Monster now has a breakdancing team.

00:30:12.000 What?

00:30:13.000 Yes.

00:30:14.000 Monster got me some badass bags, man.

00:30:16.000 Yeah, Hans is a good dude, man.

00:30:18.000 He's a great dude.

00:30:18.000 Yeah, he takes care of a lot of people.

00:30:21.000 Again, the infrastructure of Monster...

00:30:23.000 Great, right?

00:30:24.000 Yeah.

00:30:24.000 Great infrastructure monster.

00:30:25.000 Yeah.

00:30:26.000 So, the Ambassador Hans takes care of it, takes care of his people.

00:30:29.000 Loyalty, family, super family.

00:30:30.000 Exactly, right?

00:30:31.000 Great guy.

00:30:31.000 So, I've seen the monster.

00:30:32.000 I was going to tell you, I've seen the monster bags laying back.

00:30:34.000 They're fucking...

00:30:35.000 I just got them.

00:30:38.000 Gostin Bolanos.

00:30:39.000 It was his idea.

00:30:39.000 So...

00:30:40.000 A little bit more of that.

00:30:40.000 You're going to get crazy.

00:30:41.000 Okay.

00:30:42.000 We'll start talking about space soon.

00:30:46.000 Doing drugs with Joe.

00:30:47.000 It's not drugs.

00:30:48.000 It's nature.

00:30:49.000 We're doing nature, bro.

00:30:50.000 Alright, I'm with you.

00:30:52.000 So the breakdancers, they start breakdancing.

00:30:55.000 And then halfway through their show, they stop it.

00:30:57.000 Look at this.

00:30:59.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:00.000 So they set up a battle between me and this other guy, right?

00:31:03.000 We just have to go out here and we have to breakdance.

00:31:05.000 I used to breakdance back years ago, but on a slippery floor with cowboy boots, and I didn't have properly stretched.

00:31:13.000 Yeah, that's not good.

00:31:14.000 Oh, it was so fun, man.

00:31:16.000 Look at you!

00:31:18.000 Cowboy boots!

00:31:19.000 Yeah, cowboy boots, monster shirt, getting down, doing a little breakdancing.

00:31:22.000 It was so fun, man.

00:31:24.000 Look at you!

00:31:25.000 Look at you!

00:31:28.000 Dude, we have a bunch of guys from 10th Planet that started out as breakdancing.

00:31:33.000 Gio Martinez, Richard Martinez.

00:31:35.000 Yeah, man.

00:31:36.000 You can do a one-handed push-up with a one-handed handstand with your feet up in the air and you twist them around.

00:31:41.000 That's crazy control of your body.

00:31:44.000 It's like yoga on steroids.

00:31:46.000 It's so hard.

00:31:48.000 It's so hard.

00:31:48.000 It's even harder to do.

00:31:51.000 After 12 years of never even doing it again.

00:31:54.000 I'm sure.

00:31:55.000 And go!

00:31:56.000 With cowboy boots on.

00:31:58.000 Here we go.

00:31:59.000 We had a bunch of these guys come in, and Eddie called me up.

00:32:03.000 He goes, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

00:32:03.000 You know, Eddie gets crazy.

00:32:04.000 He goes, listen, man, breakdancing.

00:32:06.000 Breakdancing.

00:32:07.000 Breakdancing is the thing.

00:32:08.000 It's the thing.

00:32:09.000 These guys are so fucking strong, I can't even control them.

00:32:11.000 Breakdancers, man.

00:32:12.000 These guys are like 140 pounds, and it's like holding on to a live wire.

00:32:17.000 Yeah, they're so strong.

00:32:19.000 Yeah.

00:32:20.000 What is that guy's name?

00:32:21.000 B-Boy Pocket Kim?

00:32:22.000 Is that what his name is?

00:32:23.000 What is his name?

00:32:25.000 I put him on my Instagram way back in the day.

00:32:27.000 This is Korean kid that is...

00:32:29.000 It doesn't even seem like a human can do what he does.

00:32:32.000 That's how I felt yesterday when those guys were dancing.

00:32:34.000 I was like, how are you doing?

00:32:35.000 He spins all on one hand.

00:32:36.000 He's on one hand, hopping up and down in the air and spinning around.

00:32:39.000 And you're like...

00:32:40.000 Do you find it?

00:32:42.000 Pocket Kim.

00:32:43.000 Yeah, watch this motherfucker.

00:32:44.000 This guy is such a beast.

00:32:46.000 It's crazy to watch.

00:32:47.000 There's a bunch of these guys now.

00:32:49.000 There's the stance elements.

00:32:51.000 With the red shoes?

00:32:53.000 Yeah.

00:32:53.000 Look at this motherfucker.

00:32:54.000 Look at this motherfucker.

00:32:56.000 I mean, what the fuck is he doing?

00:32:58.000 It's called Air Tracks.

00:32:59.000 That is crazy.

00:33:00.000 It's called Air Tracks, but he's laying right there.

00:33:01.000 But that is crazy.

00:33:02.000 Yeah, it's like flaring in the air.

00:33:04.000 That is...

00:33:07.000 Damn near impossible to do.

00:33:08.000 That guy is a freak.

00:33:09.000 He's the freak of all freaks.

00:33:12.000 It's crazy what he can do.

00:33:14.000 And there's a few of those guys.

00:33:15.000 If you go to that Stance Elements, click on that Stance Elements, Jamie.

00:33:19.000 These guys are – I didn't know about this until Tim Ferriss put it on his Instagram.

00:33:25.000 He put Pocket Kim on and then I went and watched these guys.

00:33:28.000 These guys are doing just insane physical acrobatics along with music.

00:33:34.000 But I feel like the kids now are doing insane everything.

00:33:37.000 Snowboarding, dirt biking.

00:33:39.000 Jiu-jitsu, everything.

00:33:40.000 Everything is on a whole other playing field, right?

00:33:43.000 Yeah.

00:33:44.000 And MMA fighters, these young guys that are coming in.

00:33:46.000 Are not just solely one discipline, right?

00:33:50.000 They have everything.

00:33:51.000 They're MMA fighters.

00:33:52.000 You've seen these new guys, like Zabit is one of my favorite guys to watch.

00:33:56.000 Zabit Magomed Sharapov.

00:33:58.000 Say that five times a month.

00:34:01.000 It's like these new high-level guys are coming in, and you're looking at them like, oh, okay, we just hit the new evolution.

00:34:07.000 There's a new evolution going on with these young guys coming up.

00:34:10.000 It's fascinating.

00:34:11.000 I mean, but that's to be expected, right?

00:34:14.000 With everything, I guess.

00:34:15.000 Especially with social media, you get to see these guys, like on Instagram, you get to see the moves that that guy's doing and all these other break dancers get to see it.

00:34:22.000 They would have to see it live.

00:34:23.000 Now they're seeing it in Korea, they're seeing it in Japan, they don't even have to travel.

00:34:27.000 And they're seeing these moves.

00:34:28.000 And you slow down, re-watch it, and learn, and learn, and learn, right?

00:34:31.000 It's a crazy time.

00:34:33.000 Crazy time.

00:34:34.000 And not only do we get to watch, but we also get the shit-ass guy in his basement that gets to talk shit about that.

00:34:40.000 Yeah, there's a little bit of that.

00:34:41.000 There's a lot of it.

00:34:42.000 You can't pay attention to that cowboy.

00:34:44.000 It burns my soul.

00:34:46.000 Yeah, but you're too good to pay attention to that.

00:34:47.000 I hate...

00:34:48.000 I wish I was too good to say that, but I get...

00:34:50.000 It's just like if I was coming here and someone out in the parking lot said something to me, I'd say, what the fuck...

00:34:55.000 Who the fuck are you talking to like that?

00:34:57.000 It'd be a moment there.

00:35:00.000 That's how I still feel today.

00:35:03.000 Well, that's why you're a cowboy.

00:35:04.000 That's why you're who you are.

00:35:06.000 You know what will help you a little bit of this?

00:35:08.000 Yes.

00:35:08.000 Well, the new mood.

00:35:09.000 New mood.

00:35:09.000 The super new mood.

00:35:12.000 Get you some of the real new mood.

00:35:13.000 That's it.

00:35:14.000 That's a gift from me to you.

00:35:15.000 Thank you, sir.

00:35:15.000 I'm glad you enjoyed that.

00:35:17.000 Yeah, man.

00:35:18.000 Your buddy, Paul.

00:35:19.000 Paul Stamets.

00:35:20.000 Paul Stamets.

00:35:20.000 Paul Stamets in light.

00:35:22.000 Fuck.

00:35:22.000 Okay.

00:35:23.000 Let's back this up.

00:35:24.000 Let's back it all up.

00:35:24.000 Let's take this train back.

00:35:26.000 Beep.

00:35:26.000 Yeah, just a little bit.

00:35:27.000 Okay.

00:35:28.000 Beep.

00:35:28.000 So, you speaking about DMT... Okay, let's back it up one more.

00:35:34.000 One more.

00:35:35.000 Beep!

00:35:35.000 I've never done any drugs in my entire life ever.

00:35:37.000 You did a lot of drugs in here already.

00:35:38.000 You did nicotine, you did alcohol.

00:35:41.000 Remember, we're backed up.

00:35:43.000 I've never done any drug ever.

00:35:45.000 Never, ever.

00:35:45.000 What year was this?

00:35:46.000 Two years ago.

00:35:48.000 Oh, you did booze.

00:35:49.000 That's legal.

00:35:51.000 Oh, legal.

00:35:52.000 The law.

00:35:53.000 Oh, it's almost a law.

00:35:56.000 You're a product of drugs.

00:35:58.000 I am a product of drugs, Jerry.

00:35:59.000 It's not a bad drug.

00:36:01.000 Budweiser's a fantastic drug.

00:36:02.000 It's made for great jokes, fun times, right?

00:36:05.000 How many fucking good times have people had because of Budweiser?

00:36:07.000 God bless you, Budweiser.

00:36:09.000 Salute.

00:36:11.000 It's a good drug.

00:36:13.000 It's well-regulated.

00:36:14.000 You know what one bottle does?

00:36:16.000 That's what I like.

00:36:17.000 Makes you want two.

00:36:18.000 You know what one bottle does makes you want two.

00:36:20.000 Right, but that's on you, man.

00:36:22.000 One bottle.

00:36:23.000 You gotta have some goddamn self-control.

00:36:25.000 One bottle, you know what a bottle of Budweiser does.

00:36:28.000 It's really clear.

00:36:29.000 True.

00:36:30.000 It's like, you eat a fucking pot brownie, it could be anything, you know?

00:36:34.000 Who knows the fuck you're getting?

00:36:36.000 I got that limit in Utah, everything is 3.2%.

00:36:38.000 Poor people in Utah.

00:36:40.000 You know they're rebranding?

00:36:41.000 Did you know the Mormons are rebranding?

00:36:42.000 I found out this last night.

00:36:44.000 They don't call Mormons anymore.

00:36:45.000 Eric Griffin was telling me, calling a Mormon a Mormon is like calling a small person a midget.

00:36:50.000 Yep.

00:36:51.000 What do you call them?

00:36:52.000 Latter Day Saints.

00:36:53.000 Oh, wow.

00:36:54.000 Shout out to the Latter Day Saints.

00:36:55.000 Magic underwear.

00:36:56.000 Magic underwear!

00:36:58.000 God damn it.

00:36:59.000 So, no drugs.

00:37:00.000 Okay?

00:37:01.000 No drugs.

00:37:02.000 You hear you talking about DMT. Everyone's on this DMT ride.

00:37:06.000 Just sponsored by this little company called Onnit, which is now a fucking huge company, which I love.

00:37:11.000 By the way, the Gut Health...

00:37:14.000 Probiotics, man.

00:37:15.000 That's my favorite.

00:37:16.000 Do you eat kimchi or anything like that?

00:37:19.000 No.

00:37:19.000 You should.

00:37:20.000 Get involved with some probiotics.

00:37:25.000 Kefir's really good.

00:37:26.000 Kimchi's really good.

00:37:27.000 Now your people are like, you're talking about your diet again.

00:37:29.000 Oh man, it's good, dude.

00:37:30.000 It's good.

00:37:31.000 People need to know.

00:37:32.000 You gotta take care of your internal.

00:37:34.000 You don't see that gut health, man, but it affects your depression, your mood, the way your brain works, where your immune system functions.

00:37:42.000 Gut health's everything.

00:37:42.000 Those little on-it packets are key, man.

00:37:44.000 I don't travel without those bitches.

00:37:46.000 I don't go a day without them.

00:37:48.000 They got a new package for them now.

00:37:50.000 They're not in the same old box, more high-tech, cool, sleek-looking box now.

00:37:53.000 Well, they exist on the substrate that's in those capsules.

00:37:55.000 That's one of the ways you don't have to refrigerate it.

00:37:57.000 It's so good for travel.

00:37:58.000 Right.

00:38:00.000 I think you should have a variety of probiotics, but I think it's one of the most critical things that people don't think about.

00:38:06.000 Anyway.

00:38:06.000 So, drugs.

00:38:07.000 Drugs.

00:38:08.000 Drugs.

00:38:09.000 Aubrey said, hey, why don't you come out?

00:38:12.000 We got a little group of people doing some DMT. Did he do the whole ceremony?

00:38:16.000 Music, chants, everything.

00:38:19.000 The Eka Rose?

00:38:20.000 The whole thing.

00:38:22.000 We smoked tobacco out by the fire.

00:38:24.000 Talked about what we were going to do.

00:38:25.000 I'm going to play some of that Eka Rose.

00:38:27.000 Talk about what direction we wanted this to go.

00:38:30.000 What we wanted the journey to consist of.

00:38:34.000 I call my best friends up, take them with me.

00:38:37.000 And we go out there and we fucking...

00:38:39.000 We do this.

00:38:42.000 We sit in this room.

00:38:43.000 We go through the chants and the ceremony.

00:38:46.000 And I'm scared to death because I've never done anything.

00:38:49.000 You should be scared.

00:38:50.000 Scared.

00:38:51.000 Never done anything.

00:38:52.000 I wish...

00:38:53.000 That's it.

00:38:56.000 Waking up the spirits.

00:38:57.000 You just have that.

00:39:04.000 That's your...

00:39:05.000 It's on your...

00:39:05.000 Oh, dude.

00:39:06.000 This can make me trip.

00:39:08.000 If I listen to this, if I eat a pot brownie, listen to this, and get in the tank, I'll start tripping.

00:39:13.000 All right.

00:39:16.000 Because when you do DMT and you hear this, they dance for you.

00:39:20.000 Right.

00:39:21.000 The whole experience.

00:39:23.000 You realize what this is.

00:39:24.000 This is like a technology to maximize DMT. And while you're on this DMT, this is playing in the background.

00:39:32.000 Yeah.

00:39:33.000 On a drum and chants.

00:39:35.000 Yeah, that's what's going on.

00:39:37.000 I wasn't in a super spooky night camera room like this, but it was...

00:39:44.000 Aubrey has a nice...

00:39:46.000 He knows what the fuck he's doing.

00:39:47.000 He knows what the fuck he's doing.

00:39:48.000 Yeah, he's doing it the real way.

00:39:51.000 You feel really spiritual in the room.

00:39:55.000 He might be a beautiful man with a beautiful body and looks like he's running a sex cult, but what he really is doing is doing it the right way.

00:40:02.000 You say it looks like legitimately doing it the right way.

00:40:08.000 I could maybe sell the ranch to Aubrey and the sex cult.

00:40:11.000 Well, listen, Aubrey and I are partners.

00:40:13.000 We'll talk after this podcast is over.

00:40:16.000 I just need to know what kind of zoning you have and whether or not you have water on the property.

00:40:20.000 There we go.

00:40:20.000 I do have water.

00:40:21.000 You got a well?

00:40:21.000 I have a well.

00:40:22.000 Two wells, actually.

00:40:26.000 So what happened?

00:40:27.000 Alright, so this music's playing, and they load the pipe, which to me looked like pink cocaine, right?

00:40:33.000 Like dust, pink dust.

00:40:34.000 And they load it in this pipe, and he says just light it, and you want to breathe fresh air out of the corner of your mouth, like, as you're taking this harsh smoke in.

00:40:44.000 It smells like burning plastic.

00:40:46.000 It's harsh.

00:40:46.000 And he says just hit it until you can't anymore.

00:40:48.000 I'm like, what the fuck does that mean?

00:40:49.000 I feel like I can hit this forever.

00:40:51.000 So I hit it, and I hit it, and then all of a sudden I say, oh, you hit it until you can't anymore, and he starts getting wavy, and then I just, the pipe falls out of my mouth, and I fall back.

00:41:01.000 The entire world comes like zooming into me, like, into like, pitch black, and I shoot through this fucking kaleidoscope of colors.

00:41:13.000 Maybe 10 seconds and blow out the top like Superman out of the top of this tube of colors into pitch total black darkness.

00:41:21.000 And I'm looking at myself from like the third person.

00:41:24.000 And I'm just hovering in midair.

00:41:28.000 And everywhere that I've ever been injured or hurt is glowing blight.

00:41:32.000 Like super white.

00:41:33.000 Like the whitest white fire I've ever seen.

00:41:35.000 Like my head's on fire.

00:41:36.000 My arms and fists are...

00:41:38.000 I feel like something out of a fucking movie.

00:41:40.000 I'm just suspended in the air.

00:41:43.000 Burning.

00:41:44.000 And I keep asking myself questions.

00:41:47.000 And then, I don't know if it's me, but I answer back to myself.

00:41:53.000 Right?

00:41:55.000 I'm bugging the fuck up because you can still hear this music going.

00:41:59.000 I can hear the people giggling next to me.

00:42:01.000 I can hear the next guy lighting the lighter and he's now going.

00:42:05.000 And meanwhile, I'm just burning and I'm talking to...

00:42:10.000 Myself.

00:42:11.000 About whatever question I answered, right?

00:42:15.000 And then all of a sudden, just as fast as I came in, I kind of eyes woke in.

00:42:19.000 I woke up.

00:42:19.000 And I still see the rest of the guy's room because they systematically go around the room in an order.

00:42:25.000 They're in, they're in, they're in.

00:42:26.000 She hits.

00:42:27.000 Now the pipe comes around again.

00:42:29.000 And now it's my turn again.

00:42:30.000 Now I'm really excited.

00:42:32.000 I almost wish halfway through the trip you could fucking hit it again and go back in.

00:42:37.000 So I hit it.

00:42:38.000 This time I'm thinking, yeah, I want to go back to that again.

00:42:40.000 I want to go back to where I just was.

00:42:42.000 So I fucking hit the pipe, hit the pipe, hit the pipe.

00:42:45.000 Now I hit the pipe so goddamn hard and I hold my breath, I fall over to the side.

00:42:50.000 I fall to my left side.

00:42:52.000 And I'm tipped over.

00:42:54.000 Well, I sit back up because you're still there, right?

00:42:56.000 You're not like in another dimension.

00:42:57.000 You're not out of your body experience.

00:42:59.000 So I sit back up, but the entire trip now is sideways.

00:43:04.000 And I'm looking at this trip.

00:43:06.000 I'm looking at crazy black rainbows.

00:43:10.000 And I can't explain what the fuck a black rainbow looks like, but they're waving with sparkles and black into a keyhole that's turned sideways.

00:43:18.000 And through the keyhole, a crazy light...

00:43:22.000 Shapes and darts and...

00:43:25.000 Every time I almost get through this keyhole, it just sucks back more.

00:43:28.000 Something I gotta remove, like...

00:43:29.000 And then I crawl to it again.

00:43:32.000 I try to get to the keyhole.

00:43:33.000 And it sucks back again.

00:43:35.000 And there was no...

00:43:37.000 Word spoken in this one.

00:43:39.000 It was me just trying to get to this...

00:43:41.000 Sideways keyhole.

00:43:43.000 And I'd just get my hand to crawl through it.

00:43:46.000 And it would fucking take off again.

00:43:48.000 And...

00:43:48.000 I woke up.

00:43:51.000 And that was my DMT experience.

00:43:54.000 You've only done it once?

00:43:55.000 Only done it one time.

00:43:56.000 I want to do it again.

00:43:57.000 Yeah, you need to do it again.

00:43:58.000 So they talk about marijuana.

00:43:59.000 Okay, done.

00:44:01.000 They talk about marijuana being a gateway drug.

00:44:04.000 Um...

00:44:05.000 No, DMT is a gateway drug for me.

00:44:07.000 What's a gateway drug to?

00:44:09.000 It allows you to do other drugs, and now I do a lot of mushrooms.

00:44:13.000 Well, it's one of those things where it lets you know that all your ideas about what drugs are are out the window.

00:44:20.000 Right.

00:44:20.000 All your ideas about what reality is are out the window, because you didn't think that this was a part of reality.

00:44:29.000 How could anybody ever think it before you experience it?

00:44:31.000 What I don't get is things that...

00:44:34.000 Shapes and colors that I couldn't...

00:44:37.000 Almost like you don't see today where I could see them there.

00:44:41.000 And I could have...

00:44:42.000 Like, the shapes and the movements...

00:44:44.000 It was just so weird.

00:44:46.000 Like, you're right.

00:44:46.000 Like, reality is...

00:44:48.000 Like, what the fuck was that?

00:44:48.000 How is that reality?

00:44:49.000 And it seems more vivid than reality.

00:44:52.000 More vivid...

00:44:53.000 But the cool thing I want to tell people listening, like...

00:44:57.000 You can just open your eyes, right?

00:44:59.000 I mean, you would be real hazy and kind of gone, but I could open my eyes.

00:45:01.000 I could see the candles burning over there.

00:45:03.000 I could hear lighters going.

00:45:04.000 And then you're like, oh, I'm okay.

00:45:07.000 I'm not in another dimension.

00:45:08.000 I'm not going to get stuck in this crazy other world.

00:45:11.000 And then I'd close my eyes and then I'd go back into it.

00:45:14.000 And I mean, it's like the most, the realest dream you've ever seen, right?

00:45:20.000 Yeah.

00:45:21.000 Yeah.

00:45:21.000 There's another one called 5-MeO-DMT, 5-Methoxy-DMT. Is that the one we're doing tonight?

00:45:28.000 That's a different one.

00:45:30.000 That one makes people really scared.

00:45:33.000 That's a different one because you cease to exist on that one.

00:45:36.000 Right.

00:45:37.000 It's more powerful, actually.

00:45:38.000 More potent.

00:45:39.000 Yeah, which is crazy to think.

00:45:41.000 There's something more potent than DMT, but it's more psychoactive in some ways.

00:45:45.000 And it's one of those weird ones that doesn't have visuals either.

00:45:48.000 But you just go to everything.

00:45:51.000 You go to heaven.

00:45:52.000 You become a part of it all.

00:45:53.000 It was just crazy how clear...

00:45:59.000 could make of the unsenses, right?

00:46:01.000 Like I try to explain now and it sounds weird, but when I was in it, it's like everything's so clear.

00:46:06.000 Yeah.

00:46:06.000 But you realize how much of what's holding you back in this life is like insecurity and fear and, and, and just, just not knowing, you know, and confusion and all this stuff.

00:46:20.000 And then it just sort of like pours water on the stuff that's dirty and cleans all the bullshit out and goes, no, it's all love.

00:46:27.000 It's all happiness, friends, experiences, life, camaraderie.

00:46:30.000 Those are the important things.

00:46:32.000 You have a chance in this life to spread more of that and help other people spread more of that and keep this ball rolling.

00:46:40.000 And that could really change the world.

00:46:41.000 It changes the world because the people that you impact ripple out and they impact other people.

00:46:46.000 Or you could just get caught up in arguing with people online.

00:46:49.000 You know, you can get caught up in the water over the dirt and just the chaos of it all.

00:46:54.000 It doesn't take much to get me caught up.

00:46:56.000 But that's also why you're a great fighter.

00:46:58.000 You know, those things go hand in hand.

00:46:59.000 If you're a person who just accepted bullshit, maybe you wouldn't be the guy that gets up in the morning when you don't want to.

00:47:04.000 True.

00:47:04.000 Maybe you wouldn't be the guy that takes those fights on short notice and goes, fuck it.

00:47:08.000 Maybe you'd be the guy that would be like, you know what?

00:47:09.000 This is not the right move for my career.

00:47:12.000 I have to sit back.

00:47:13.000 You're a wild man, and that's why people love you.

00:47:18.000 But that needs to be appreciated, but also managed.

00:47:22.000 The chaos of your personality and how you approach things.

00:47:26.000 I mean, you almost fucking died in a cave for you, bro.

00:47:29.000 Yeah.

00:47:29.000 This is what you do.

00:47:31.000 That's my other drug, adrenaline.

00:47:34.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:47:35.000 Adrenaline, man.

00:47:37.000 The things that people are scared of, you flock to.

00:47:41.000 It's like you want to prove that you're not scared of them.

00:47:43.000 And I am.

00:47:44.000 I'm just as scared as you are.

00:47:45.000 Sure.

00:47:45.000 Like skydiving.

00:47:47.000 I love it because it's like, ooh.

00:47:50.000 Yeah.

00:47:51.000 And we go.

00:47:51.000 Yeah.

00:47:52.000 There's no if, ands, or buts when you jump out of a fucking plane.

00:47:55.000 I'm flying planes now.

00:47:56.000 Getting my pilot's license.

00:47:57.000 Really?

00:47:58.000 Yeah.

00:47:59.000 I started a little while back.

00:48:02.000 I quit for a while, but now I'm back.

00:48:04.000 I'm all in.

00:48:04.000 I'm flying, and I'm lovin' it, man.

00:48:06.000 I was just telling you, I watched that Leonard Skinner documentary last night.

00:48:09.000 Don't fly a shitty plane.

00:48:11.000 That's how we lost Leonard Skinner.

00:48:13.000 Yeah.

00:48:13.000 They needed to get their fucking plane fixed.

00:48:17.000 Drugs.

00:48:18.000 Drugs.

00:48:18.000 Fucking drugs.

00:48:19.000 Fucking pillheads, man.

00:48:20.000 The next time I'm on in two years, when I come back, I'll fly out here.

00:48:24.000 Yes.

00:48:25.000 I'll fly out here.

00:48:26.000 Yeah, man.

00:48:27.000 You're so wild, man.

00:48:28.000 That's a bold move, man.

00:48:30.000 Learn how to fly.

00:48:31.000 I mean, that's the ultimate, right?

00:48:33.000 That's...

00:48:33.000 Joe, I enjoy drinking beer with you, buddy.

00:48:35.000 Me too, brother.

00:48:36.000 We can see a little campfire.

00:48:37.000 We can fucking set.

00:48:38.000 We're slicing deer.

00:48:39.000 Exactly.

00:48:39.000 We should.

00:48:40.000 We should definitely do that one of these days.

00:48:42.000 You should come to Lanai with us.

00:48:44.000 Okay.

00:48:44.000 You would love it, man.

00:48:45.000 It's the craziest hunting ever.

00:48:47.000 And it's like one of the most ethical...

00:48:48.000 You have to kill them.

00:48:49.000 Sure.

00:48:50.000 30,000 deer on this one island.

00:48:52.000 No, 20,000 deer and 3,000 people.

00:48:54.000 Let's touch that little subject for a minute.

00:48:57.000 About...

00:48:59.000 We now have to kill these animals.

00:49:00.000 Why?

00:49:01.000 Because there's so many people out there that are like, fuck you hunters.

00:49:04.000 What are you doing?

00:49:05.000 Why would you want to take a life?

00:49:07.000 Yeah.

00:49:08.000 Well, the lanai is a different example because it's an island.

00:49:11.000 It's an island filled with deer and there's no wolves and there's no mountain lions.

00:49:14.000 People have to eat them.

00:49:15.000 They're fucking everywhere.

00:49:16.000 Yeah, because if they don't, they're just going to- They're overpopulated.

00:49:19.000 They're going to die.

00:49:19.000 Yeah, of course.

00:49:21.000 Yeah.

00:49:21.000 But, I mean, I think the hunting thing, the anti-hunting thing is probably real similar to what we're talking about with psychedelic drugs.

00:49:29.000 It's people who haven't experienced it.

00:49:30.000 They don't know what it really is.

00:49:34.000 And a lot of them still, I mean, 97% of the people in this country eat meat.

00:49:38.000 I'm one of them.

00:49:39.000 I love it.

00:49:39.000 Yeah, but it's a crazy number when you think about how many people get hated on for hunting.

00:49:43.000 That means, for sure, some of those people that are hating also eat meat, which is one of the most crazy hypocrisies ever.

00:49:51.000 Crazy.

00:49:52.000 Right?

00:49:52.000 I mean, when you look at it like that.

00:49:54.000 Yeah.

00:49:54.000 With the numbers.

00:49:55.000 Yeah.

00:49:56.000 Because they are.

00:49:57.000 As they're eating their hamburger on the same breath, they're telling you what a piece of shit you are for killing ducks.

00:50:02.000 Yeah.

00:50:04.000 Yeah.

00:50:06.000 It's a disconnection.

00:50:07.000 Do you think vegans, if a mosquito lands on them, do they slap it and kill it?

00:50:11.000 I talk about that all the time.

00:50:12.000 Do they kill mice that are nibbling in the corner of their house and making noise so they can't sleep?

00:50:17.000 Do they set a mousetrap out?

00:50:18.000 That's a good question.

00:50:20.000 Do they shoot the fly with the badass new salt fucking shotgun?

00:50:24.000 The salt guns are the shit.

00:50:26.000 Me, I'm picking the bitches off.

00:50:28.000 I open the door and let them.

00:50:30.000 Woof them in from the horse shit.

00:50:32.000 Come on in, boy.

00:50:33.000 They got a little bit of plapping to do in here.

00:50:37.000 So, yeah.

00:50:38.000 I mean, does a mosquito or a fly not have a soul?

00:50:42.000 I went to an ashram once, and the lady had ant spray out.

00:50:46.000 And I was like, what are you doing with that?

00:50:48.000 She's like, oh, we have an ant problem here.

00:50:49.000 I go, you got an ant problem here?

00:50:51.000 I go, so you kill them with the spray?

00:50:53.000 I go, that's fucking crazy.

00:50:54.000 This is an ashram.

00:50:55.000 Right?

00:50:55.000 This is a Buddhist ashram and you are spraying ant spray.

00:50:59.000 You're poisoning death from the sky.

00:51:02.000 From the sky.

00:51:02.000 Yeah, like your fucking air warfare on these poor little beings because you don't like that they get too close to your garbage.

00:51:10.000 It's heavy.

00:51:11.000 It's heavy.

00:51:12.000 It's crazy.

00:51:12.000 When you put it in perspective like that, they don't have an answer.

00:51:16.000 What do you do when you wash yourself?

00:51:18.000 What about all those microbiome on your body?

00:51:20.000 You're killing all that shit with soap.

00:51:22.000 What are you doing?

00:51:23.000 What are you doing?

00:51:24.000 It's a holocaust.

00:51:25.000 Every time you wash your asshole, it's a holocaust.

00:51:28.000 You're killing all this life forms, right?

00:51:31.000 No ifs, ands, or buts.

00:51:33.000 I mean, it's just a matter of what life...

00:51:35.000 And the other problem is there's real evidence that somehow or another plants communicate with each other.

00:51:41.000 Of course.

00:51:42.000 That they have some sort of – if not awareness, they have some sort of information exchange between each other.

00:51:48.000 And they change their taste based on whether or not other ones are getting eaten.

00:51:52.000 It activates certain responses in the plants and they become like really bitter and disgusting to animals so that animals don't eat them.

00:52:00.000 And they do this with – they can have a recording.

00:52:02.000 They can play a recording of caterpillars eating leaves next to a plant and it will change its flavor profile.

00:52:07.000 It excretes some sort of a chemical so that it discourages predation.

00:52:10.000 There's some intelligence to those things.

00:52:12.000 I think that's just evolving, right?

00:52:14.000 It's having to.

00:52:15.000 It's like, ooh, we're no longer going to exist if – This happens.

00:52:21.000 We have to evolve the change, which you talk about us becoming who we are today from super primates to right.

00:52:29.000 And I think now we're caught in an era where the weak are still allowed to coexist with us.

00:52:39.000 Yeah, there's a little bit of that.

00:52:41.000 They don't want to be weak.

00:52:42.000 They can't help it.

00:52:44.000 You laugh at that, but it's true.

00:52:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:52:47.000 It's true.

00:52:48.000 And I just had a baby boy, and I can't wait to stand on the sidelines of these soccer games and football games.

00:52:58.000 And I can't wait to show up to fucking track day and I'm bringing fucking medals and trophies because my kid's not getting a fucking participation ribbon.

00:53:05.000 He's here to win, right?

00:53:08.000 When do we draw the line back of, you know, just because you are weaker, you get a participation ribbon.

00:53:17.000 There's no more competition.

00:53:18.000 There's no understanding of psychology.

00:53:20.000 You can't protect people from bad feelings like losing.

00:53:23.000 That's what propels you.

00:53:24.000 That's what makes you better.

00:53:25.000 That's what they're doing.

00:53:27.000 Yeah.

00:53:27.000 You're telling me if my kid's an awesome, awesome football player and he's on the team running touchdowns, he has to sit the bench because Tommy didn't get enough time to play?

00:53:36.000 And not only that, Tommy, you're his weak-ass dad who fucking secretly emails the coach behind my back?

00:53:43.000 You know what I mean?

00:53:44.000 Like that shit to me, what the fuck?

00:53:48.000 So I'm so excited to join this new journey of parenthood.

00:53:54.000 It's so crazy, man, these kids.

00:53:57.000 It's not all parents, though.

00:53:59.000 Some parents realize how stupid it is.

00:54:01.000 There's parents out there just like you.

00:54:03.000 Sure.

00:54:03.000 Just like, this is ridiculous.

00:54:04.000 Like, kids have got...

00:54:05.000 This is a guy that's...

00:54:07.000 His daughter goes to school with my daughter, and I always gravitate towards him because he's got a neck tattoo.

00:54:13.000 Yeah.

00:54:13.000 Immediately, I'm like, anybody with a neck tattoo, I'll relate to this motherfucker.

00:54:16.000 Well, because that's a life decision.

00:54:18.000 Yeah, you're...

00:54:18.000 You neck tat, you...

00:54:20.000 Motherfucker, we gonna be alright because we're...

00:54:23.000 I don't have an egg cat, but I know how you're living, so I'm with you.

00:54:26.000 I'm with you.

00:54:27.000 These kids were playing rough, and he looked at me and goes, whatever happened to getting hurt?

00:54:32.000 Whatever happened to falling down and learning how, oh, well, you shouldn't do that.

00:54:35.000 That hurts.

00:54:36.000 Well, now I'll learn how to fall better.

00:54:37.000 Now I'll learn how to not do that anymore.

00:54:39.000 Well, this thing was going to make you slip and scuff your knee.

00:54:42.000 It's okay.

00:54:43.000 That's part of learning.

00:54:44.000 You can't nerf the world.

00:54:46.000 You can't nerf the fucking world.

00:54:47.000 When you nerf the world and then you empower these people that have lived in a nerfed environment, that's a problem.

00:54:53.000 They haven't experienced real adversity and they're mean.

00:54:56.000 One of the reasons why they're mean is because they're scared.

00:54:58.000 Like a lot of these people on social media that are really mean, they're the ones who are the most scared and they're the ones who are the most weak for sure.

00:55:08.000 And the fact that they're so vulnerable is what's leading them to lash out and try to hurt other people because they're so easy to hurt and they're so damaged.

00:55:16.000 I mean, that's literally the results of living in a nerfed world.

00:55:21.000 But these people that you say are so weak, how is that satisfying them to disable somebody that's not?

00:55:29.000 They don't know what to do.

00:55:30.000 They're hurting and they just lash out.

00:55:32.000 Like, how are they writing an email?

00:55:34.000 Like, I'm going to get this motherfucker.

00:55:36.000 Send.

00:55:36.000 And they're like, ooh, and then they see this...

00:55:39.000 What?

00:55:39.000 That's gratifying for them?

00:55:40.000 It's not even.

00:55:42.000 It seems like it would be because they're trying to hurt you.

00:55:45.000 They're trying to get you.

00:55:46.000 But then eventually it comes back and gets them.

00:55:49.000 It's like they have to understand LeBron James isn't doing that.

00:55:53.000 No.

00:55:54.000 No winners are out there doing that.

00:55:57.000 This is loser behavior.

00:55:58.000 You're lashing out at others who are doing while you're not.

00:56:03.000 Unless there's like...

00:56:04.000 If you have a legitimate problem with someone...

00:56:06.000 You talk about LeBron like...

00:56:08.000 In the NBA, they don't just sit him down because the other player, 22, hasn't got enough play time.

00:56:14.000 Hasn't got enough play time.

00:56:15.000 Right.

00:56:15.000 No.

00:56:16.000 Motherfucker, go ahead and score again.

00:56:18.000 We're with you right here.

00:56:19.000 We've got to make some money.

00:56:20.000 Right?

00:56:20.000 It's good when we're paying to watch it on TV, but when your kid's in it, I don't get it, man.

00:56:26.000 But I haven't experienced it yet.

00:56:27.000 I've only had friends who have, so I'm fucking so excited.

00:56:31.000 It's fascinating just to watch them evolve, watch their little minds grow.

00:56:35.000 Talking to them, you know, just experiencing life through these new eyes and seeing them learn things.

00:56:39.000 He's definitely going to be a little fighter.

00:56:40.000 He's just a rotten son of a bitch.

00:56:42.000 He sleeps with his hands up.

00:56:44.000 He sleeps with his hands up, both hands up.

00:56:48.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:56:50.000 And he just like flexes them out and he'll put them back and he flexes them out.

00:56:53.000 I'm like, what are you doing, man?

00:56:54.000 It's so cool.

00:56:55.000 I put him in this little jumper and he has two, he has a blue frog and this red fish.

00:57:00.000 And I don't know what this red fish did to him, but that motherfucker would just slide sideways and just look stank on him for, just sit there and stare at him.

00:57:07.000 20 minutes, no movement, no crying, just slouched over and he cornered pairs at this red fish.

00:57:15.000 And I'm like, what?

00:57:16.000 Dude, what are you doing?

00:57:17.000 And I'll spin him and play with him, and then he just finds him again and just has a staring contest with this fucking thing.

00:57:24.000 That's hilarious.

00:57:25.000 He's practicing.

00:57:26.000 He's practicing.

00:57:27.000 I think that shit definitely carries on through the child.

00:57:30.000 It has to, right?

00:57:30.000 It has to.

00:57:32.000 I mean, there's things that people learn, like, well, why are kids scared of monsters?

00:57:36.000 Well, you have to be careful of predators.

00:57:39.000 Yeah.

00:57:39.000 You know?

00:57:40.000 Of course.

00:57:40.000 There's lessons you learn.

00:57:42.000 You see things that are scary.

00:57:43.000 Like, why do people have, like, a fear of snakes?

00:57:46.000 Are we out of beers?

00:57:46.000 Is this the last one?

00:57:47.000 No, we got a whole shitload in the back.

00:57:48.000 Oh, perfect.

00:57:50.000 Okay.

00:57:51.000 These Budweiser go down so smooth.

00:57:53.000 They do go down so smooth.

00:57:55.000 Yeah.

00:57:56.000 I think, for sure, there's some of your personality that's going to be transferred through your DNA. Your life lessons.

00:58:01.000 God, I can't wait, man.

00:58:02.000 I'm so excited.

00:58:03.000 Yeah.

00:58:04.000 So cool to see them.

00:58:05.000 Yeah.

00:58:07.000 How early are you going to start training him?

00:58:09.000 Right away.

00:58:10.000 So he never knows anything else?

00:58:13.000 Not only Joe, he's not going to know anything else, but...

00:58:17.000 We're dirt biking.

00:58:19.000 We're wakeboarding.

00:58:20.000 We're fucking scuba diving.

00:58:22.000 We're...

00:58:23.000 Every crazy thing I do, he's going to do it.

00:58:25.000 He's going to be fucking launching huge air.

00:58:27.000 And he's going to get around his other kids and he's just going to think that's just what you do.

00:58:31.000 Right.

00:58:32.000 Oh, you guys don't do that?

00:58:33.000 Right.

00:58:34.000 Oh, that's...

00:58:35.000 I've been doing that for five years.

00:58:37.000 Yeah.

00:58:37.000 So he won't know any different.

00:58:41.000 And yeah, I would definitely train him in wrestling and jujitsu and kickboxing.

00:58:46.000 Absolutely.

00:58:47.000 Absolutely.

00:58:48.000 And I'm going to be the dad when he goes and beats a kid up at school.

00:58:52.000 I'm like, what?

00:58:54.000 Danger?

00:58:54.000 You fucking animal!

00:58:56.000 His name is Danger?

00:58:58.000 Your son's name is Danger?

00:58:58.000 His first name is Daxson.

00:59:00.000 My name is Donald Anthony Cerrone, so his name is D-A-C, my initials, and then S-O-N, so he's my son.

00:59:05.000 Danger Cerrone.

00:59:06.000 Daxson Danger Cerrone.

00:59:08.000 I'm going to say, Danger, what are you doing in here?

00:59:11.000 You can't be beating these kids up and as soon as we get in the hallway, fucking fist bump, whatever you want, boy.

00:59:16.000 Let's go.

00:59:18.000 Well, you already have evidence now on video.

00:59:20.000 You need to watch this video.

00:59:23.000 I mean, if he's in there defending his sisters or doing whatever he has to do, I'm with him.

00:59:30.000 Get you some, boy.

00:59:32.000 What's the world going to be like?

00:59:34.000 In 10 years.

00:59:35.000 Think about how weird it is from 10 years ago.

00:59:39.000 I remember in my high school we had beepers.

00:59:42.000 That's right.

00:59:44.000 Remember when people had beepers that also could send text messages?

00:59:47.000 Like, what the fuck?

00:59:48.000 You're taking it too far.

00:59:49.000 You could leave a voice message on mine.

00:59:52.000 You could talk a voice or you could call and listen to it.

00:59:54.000 But yeah, I mean, these kids, your kids, have no idea what it is to pass a note.

01:00:00.000 Right.

01:00:01.000 Or call Mr. Rogan.

01:00:09.000 I was just wondering if I could talk with Sarah.

01:00:12.000 Would that be cool?

01:00:15.000 It's after 9 o'clock, idiot.

01:00:17.000 Click.

01:00:18.000 Yeah, that after 9 o'clock deal.

01:00:20.000 Right?

01:00:20.000 Yeah.

01:00:21.000 You have to be real careful what time you call.

01:00:23.000 You set a bad precedent.

01:00:25.000 Picture-taking.

01:00:26.000 But I think the picture-taking is also taking a lot away from life.

01:00:29.000 Like, even me, I get caught in it.

01:00:31.000 I'll go to lunch with three of my friends, and two minutes into lunch, we're all Instagram.

01:00:35.000 Who's Rogan got on the show today?

01:00:37.000 You know?

01:00:38.000 Yeah.

01:00:39.000 I know.

01:00:40.000 It is a problem.

01:00:41.000 You lose a lot of your life to these fucking things.

01:00:44.000 A lot of it.

01:00:45.000 Yeah.

01:00:45.000 And it sucks you in.

01:00:46.000 But it's also so awesome because...

01:00:50.000 So much is learned, like you said.

01:00:51.000 It needs to be managed.

01:00:54.000 Right now, if you want to talk about...

01:00:57.000 We were just discussing the different kinds of releases on the bow.

01:01:01.000 Right.

01:01:03.000 Maybe I don't know about you.

01:01:05.000 Literally, two seconds after I leave here, I can YouTube it and I can...

01:01:08.000 You can know it all.

01:01:09.000 I can know it all.

01:01:10.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:01:10.000 I can have experts on every single release, make my own judgment, and decide what I want to do.

01:01:15.000 And that's crazy nowadays.

01:01:18.000 The world is...

01:01:20.000 So much better in a sense, I think, because you can do that, but it takes away a lot of the bullshit people used to have.

01:01:27.000 Probably when you were in school and the guy tells you, I'm this, this, this, and this, there's nobody other than Jimmy saying, uh-huh, yeah, I was there.

01:01:38.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:40.000 Right?

01:01:41.000 Yeah, he never knew.

01:01:43.000 Now you just go ahead and like, wait, what?

01:01:46.000 Nah, man, that's negative.

01:01:49.000 You are not a gold medalist, right?

01:01:52.000 Well, you'll still see some of those guys are still floating around.

01:01:55.000 There's a few of those guys that are still floating around that somehow or another made it through the net.

01:02:01.000 They came in in a dark net.

01:02:03.000 They're floating around right now, kind of like...

01:02:05.000 Skating on the boundaries of incredulity.

01:02:09.000 It's so bizarre.

01:02:10.000 Yeah, there's a lot of frauds out there.

01:02:12.000 They're still kind of operating.

01:02:15.000 Fake black belts, fake gold medalists, fake...

01:02:18.000 Yeah.

01:02:19.000 Why would you want to be a fake black belt?

01:02:21.000 They don't know any better.

01:02:22.000 They've just been lying their whole life, mostly.

01:02:25.000 It's like the demons that you experience when you do mushrooms, they got their own demons.

01:02:30.000 And maybe it was childhood molestation.

01:02:33.000 So you think those people that lie, that's just what they do?

01:02:36.000 They were probably beaten as kids.

01:02:37.000 Their parents were shit.

01:02:39.000 Everybody lied to them.

01:02:40.000 Why does it have to be that person?

01:02:41.000 Why does it have to be that person?

01:02:43.000 Why can't it be the rich kid that was born in Beverly Hills, that has everything...

01:02:48.000 And he lies too?

01:02:49.000 He's still a liar.

01:02:50.000 Why can't he be this big of a piece of shit as them?

01:02:52.000 He could be.

01:02:53.000 But I bet a lot of those real severe liars, they come from abuse because they have to create a false life.

01:02:59.000 But you get a lot of abuse in rich households too.

01:03:01.000 Sure.

01:03:02.000 Especially maybe the dad has to work 16 hours a day as a banker or something like that.

01:03:06.000 He's never home.

01:03:07.000 The mom's on drugs.

01:03:08.000 No one's taking care of the kids.

01:03:09.000 They're hanging around with a bunch of other lost kids in their school and they're all doing drugs together and fucking off.

01:03:14.000 Right.

01:03:15.000 Crime and all kinds of shit just to have excitement in their life because they're so bored and confused and lost and lonely.

01:03:22.000 And they start lying too.

01:03:23.000 Right.

01:03:24.000 I mean, it all comes from the same place, whether it comes from a rich kid or a poor kid.

01:03:28.000 It comes from your life being fucked up and you're not liking who you are.

01:03:33.000 So you need to eat mushrooms.

01:03:35.000 That'll help.

01:03:36.000 And deal with the demons.

01:03:37.000 Deal with the demons.

01:03:38.000 And then go do something.

01:03:40.000 Go do something so that you know that you could...

01:03:42.000 You could experience some nerves.

01:03:45.000 You know, and you could rise to the occasion.

01:03:47.000 Sure.

01:03:48.000 You know what I mean?

01:03:48.000 And learn about yourself that you can overcome.

01:03:51.000 You can make mistakes and fail and then try it again and succeed.

01:03:55.000 And then the bad feelings that you get, like when you're worried about losing, you know, and these fears, it's because winning is so high, man.

01:04:04.000 I've seen you win so many times.

01:04:05.000 I've called so many of your fights.

01:04:07.000 And, you know, I look right in your eyes whenever you win and they're just like, this dude's on fire right now.

01:04:12.000 He's just like...

01:04:12.000 There's no other...

01:04:14.000 I couldn't even explain to you that feeling because...

01:04:17.000 No one can.

01:04:18.000 Nobody can.

01:04:19.000 No one can.

01:04:19.000 You have to do it.

01:04:21.000 Other than...

01:04:22.000 Fuck!

01:04:23.000 Fuck yeah!

01:04:24.000 Right?

01:04:24.000 Fuck yeah!

01:04:26.000 That's the feeling.

01:04:27.000 You know what I mean?

01:04:28.000 Like, that's...

01:04:29.000 But it's fuck yeah times like a million.

01:04:31.000 You know?

01:04:32.000 You know?

01:04:32.000 And...

01:04:33.000 God, it's the highest highs, man.

01:04:35.000 It's just insane how cool it feels.

01:04:39.000 I've seen, like, with you particularly, like, chaos.

01:04:43.000 Right.

01:04:43.000 Like, there's something about chaos when you just crack someone, and then it's over, and then you're walking around, and you're, like, glowing.

01:04:52.000 I'm in my DMT. Yeah, you did it.

01:04:55.000 You went through all the fucking demons, and all the darkness, and all the fear, and all the insecurity, and then you landed, and then it's over.

01:05:04.000 And then it's just as fast as it started, it's over.

01:05:07.000 And that's crazy.

01:05:07.000 Yeah.

01:05:08.000 And that's over.

01:05:09.000 And now you're back.

01:05:10.000 And then it's like, hey, four weeks from now, blah, blah, blah, fell out.

01:05:14.000 Yeah.

01:05:14.000 What are you going to do?

01:05:15.000 Like, we're going to fucking do it again.

01:05:16.000 We're going to start over.

01:05:17.000 Yeah.

01:05:18.000 We're going to start all over.

01:05:19.000 And people always ask me, like, how long are you going to fight till?

01:05:22.000 I'm going to fight till I don't love it anymore, Joe.

01:05:24.000 I really am, man.

01:05:25.000 I don't have an answer for anybody.

01:05:27.000 It's a good answer.

01:05:28.000 The day that I wake up and I'm like, nah.

01:05:31.000 Nah.

01:05:33.000 What we need is medical science to catch up where they could fix everything 100%.

01:05:38.000 Right.

01:05:39.000 Like head injuries, nose injuries, everything.

01:05:41.000 Just put people in some sort of microwave machine where they just...

01:05:47.000 Bring it back to 100%.

01:05:49.000 Thank you, sir.

01:05:50.000 So then fighting becomes a matter of temporary injury rather than permanent injury.

01:05:55.000 And then it's a whole other ball of wax.

01:06:00.000 It's a whole other ball of wax.

01:06:00.000 Everyone's fighting 100% healthy.

01:06:03.000 Yeah, and you also don't have to worry about your long-term health, which is one of the big problems with fighting.

01:06:09.000 Yeah, you're like, you want to armbar me and break it?

01:06:11.000 Did you see the guy who got his motherfucking arm cracked the last fight?

01:06:15.000 Yeah.

01:06:16.000 Was it last Friday?

01:06:17.000 Lincoln, Nebraska.

01:06:18.000 I didn't see it.

01:06:19.000 Who got armbarred?

01:06:20.000 A guy from Colorado.

01:06:22.000 I watched the Krause fight, and I watched the Gagey fight.

01:06:27.000 The Brazilian guy took him down, armbarred him.

01:06:31.000 Snapped it?

01:06:32.000 No, I didn't snap it, popped it, and pulled it all the way back and had it bent.

01:06:35.000 He said, man, I felt it pop, but I told myself, we ain't losing this, and he just kept on going.

01:06:40.000 It's moments like that that you could just say...

01:06:43.000 Fuck it, break it, because I'm going in this microwave.

01:06:46.000 Yeah.

01:06:47.000 I'm going right from here, ambulance to the microwave.

01:06:51.000 Ten minutes, I'm fucking...

01:06:52.000 I'm going to go recook me.

01:06:54.000 Yeah, recook me.

01:06:55.000 That's possible someday.

01:06:56.000 I mean, maybe it's not in our lifetimes, but it's possible someday.

01:06:59.000 And fighting's going to be a different thing.

01:07:00.000 Like, that was what was so impressive about John when Vitor got his arm.

01:07:05.000 Right.

01:07:05.000 Vitor turned...

01:07:06.000 Oh, here it is.

01:07:07.000 Look at this.

01:07:07.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:07:08.000 Wait till he...

01:07:11.000 Oh man, this is nasty.

01:07:12.000 This is right rate tap.

01:07:14.000 He taps right here, but before...

01:07:15.000 I don't know.

01:07:18.000 I don't know what to say.

01:07:20.000 Yeah, before this, he puts it behind his back and he has it fucking bowed.

01:07:26.000 This guy used to train at Jacksons too.

01:07:28.000 The Brazilian guy on the bottom.

01:07:33.000 Yeah, when John got tapped by Vitor, that was so nasty.

01:07:36.000 I mean, he was fully hyperextended.

01:07:40.000 And his arm was fucked up for a while after, right?

01:07:42.000 That's why he had to host the Ultimate Fighter.

01:07:46.000 Correct.

01:07:47.000 He really couldn't train properly with it.

01:07:49.000 Yeah, that's going to be a different animal in the future when people aren't worried as much about permanent damage.

01:07:55.000 Right.

01:07:57.000 I hope I need it because I do a lot of permanent damage.

01:08:03.000 Yeah, the most damage today is permanent damage.

01:08:06.000 All these wild excursions I go on.

01:08:09.000 Yeah, tell me about the cave dive.

01:08:11.000 So you want to learn about cave diving?

01:08:12.000 Okay.

01:08:15.000 So, first of all, cave diving is the last certification someone can get caving, right?

01:08:21.000 In diving.

01:08:23.000 Like, you start off to get your open water, then you move and get your advanced open water, get your nitrox, and you start learning the rules.

01:08:33.000 Of Mother Nature because Mother Nature is never going to take a loss.

01:08:37.000 She wins every time.

01:08:38.000 The only bitch I know that wins 100% of the time, right?

01:08:41.000 You cannot fuck with her and come out winning.

01:08:44.000 So when she wants to take you, she takes you.

01:08:46.000 So you learn about all these different rules of the water and of the nitrogen levels that you're taking into your body.

01:08:55.000 Anyway, cave diving is...

01:08:57.000 About five years in.

01:08:58.000 I got my certification in high school.

01:09:01.000 And I am a super cave diver, man.

01:09:04.000 I love it.

01:09:05.000 I love diving.

01:09:06.000 I love everything about diving.

01:09:07.000 I love ship diving.

01:09:09.000 So no days, caves, you name it.

01:09:12.000 I love it.

01:09:12.000 So we were in Cozumel a couple weeks ago.

01:09:16.000 And one of my old...

01:09:18.000 You could almost call him an instructor.

01:09:20.000 He's taught me a lot of what I know about diving today.

01:09:23.000 We...

01:09:25.000 Dove three or four days with some buddies of mine that were down in Cozumel, just went through some ships, went through some...

01:09:31.000 It's the coral reef, just playing around, dying with them.

01:09:35.000 And then we go and do a serious dive.

01:09:38.000 He's getting a little bit older.

01:09:39.000 His mind is still very, very, very sharp, but his motor skills...

01:09:45.000 Don't keep up with them much anymore, right?

01:09:47.000 In cave diving, it's a very necessity that you need.

01:09:53.000 So, we jump in this cave.

01:09:57.000 Let's rewind 20 minutes.

01:09:58.000 I just kissed my girl and my new baby.

01:10:01.000 And she's like, I don't really want you to go, right?

01:10:05.000 I don't...

01:10:06.000 I don't want to say his name, but the guy you're going with, I'm worried.

01:10:12.000 Mm-hmm.

01:10:14.000 I said, what are you worried about?

01:10:16.000 I said, I'm coming home.

01:10:18.000 This is what I, I come home every time.

01:10:21.000 I'm coming home.

01:10:22.000 Fuck, I don't know.

01:10:24.000 So I pick up another, I order another cylinder of air just for X. So I have two, originally I'm going with, I order another cylinder of air just, I told her just for, just for, just to fucking have it, right?

01:10:37.000 No one's ever died because they have too much air.

01:10:40.000 In cave diving, you dive in third.

01:10:42.000 So, if we have 300 PSI, we'll do 1,000 PSI in.

01:10:45.000 We'll do 1,000 PSI out.

01:10:47.000 And we have 1,000 PSI in case something fucking happens.

01:10:51.000 Also, in cave diving, they have lines.

01:10:53.000 You run these.

01:10:55.000 In a cave, they'll already have a line run.

01:10:57.000 A bunch of guys like me, tech divers, have gone into caves.

01:11:00.000 They discovered them.

01:11:01.000 They mapped them.

01:11:01.000 They named them.

01:11:02.000 They put lines so you can follow them in case something happens, right?

01:11:06.000 Get in and get out.

01:11:09.000 Lines and lines and none of the lines really connect except for like the main lines.

01:11:14.000 They'll have like three or four main lines down big channels of the cave because caves are huge, right?

01:11:18.000 From an entrance to the main line, usually no one has a cave.

01:11:21.000 You have to make what's called a jump.

01:11:23.000 You have to make your own line because they just don't want someone listening on here today to go find a cave, jump in, swim down and be able to get in and out and get lost in there.

01:11:32.000 Now all of a sudden we have a Thailand incident and we're fucking going to save people.

01:11:36.000 So you make a jump, tie off, you put these direction arrows down.

01:11:42.000 They're called cookies, right?

01:11:44.000 Pointing out towards the direction out of the cave.

01:11:47.000 So that way if something happens, you come out.

01:11:49.000 When you make a jump, you take your light, you wrap it around your neck, and then you have two hands that work on the line.

01:11:56.000 The guy I was with didn't follow some of our rules.

01:12:01.000 And in cave diving, it's kind of an unwritten fact that You only worry about you, I'm coming home.

01:12:08.000 Right?

01:12:09.000 I'm fucking staying alive.

01:12:11.000 So if Joe, me and I were cave diving, something were to happen, I'm not going in there to get you.

01:12:15.000 No reason for two of us to die when only one's in there can die.

01:12:21.000 So he tries to tie off his buoyancy, he fucking hits the roof of the cave, kicks his feet, spins, and now all of a sudden this line that's supposed to be tied off, which is our fucking lifeline, is now wrapped around him.

01:12:36.000 So I swim over to him and I try to help him unhook this line.

01:12:40.000 And he goes into panic and panic kills everybody involved.

01:12:43.000 Everybody involved dies with panic and that's something that I can't express enough.

01:12:48.000 So he starts fucking freaking out, hitting the roof, spinning, silt fucking everywhere and I just back out.

01:12:53.000 Take about four or five big strong steps back.

01:12:58.000 And I grab a hold of the main line.

01:13:01.000 Now it's silting out.

01:13:02.000 Now when I see something silting out, there's all this like sediment that ends on the bottom of these caves.

01:13:07.000 And you're in like a little tiny room.

01:13:09.000 So if you kick your fin hard, it kicks up like dark dust, mud, sediment, silt.

01:13:17.000 You can't fucking see anything.

01:13:18.000 Blacks it out.

01:13:19.000 So I back out of the silt.

01:13:21.000 I grab the line.

01:13:23.000 And I see him and they're fucking freaking and panicking and spinning and rolling around and getting all caught up in this line.

01:13:29.000 And I'm like, fuck!

01:13:32.000 I just stay calm.

01:13:34.000 This was the exit.

01:13:35.000 I know where it is because I know where I am.

01:13:37.000 There's the exit.

01:13:38.000 He was making a jump to go down another tunnel.

01:13:41.000 There he is.

01:13:42.000 Now, what I just tell you about the rule that someone comes home, right?

01:13:47.000 I broke the rule and I went in to get him.

01:13:51.000 I said, fuck the guy down.

01:13:52.000 So I let go of the line.

01:13:55.000 And I go in to get him because his light fucking is off now.

01:13:58.000 And I'm thinking, God damn it, he spun up in this line.

01:14:00.000 His light's off.

01:14:02.000 Did he drop his regulator?

01:14:03.000 Does he have air?

01:14:04.000 Is he okay?

01:14:07.000 Soon as I go into the sill, fucking lose everything, man.

01:14:11.000 Lose everything.

01:14:12.000 My way, where I am, my up, my down.

01:14:15.000 I don't know where I am.

01:14:16.000 I'm fucking panicking now.

01:14:17.000 I'm panicking!

01:14:18.000 Fucking freaking out more than any I've ever...

01:14:20.000 Breathing hard.

01:14:23.000 Bang!

01:14:23.000 Hit my head on the fucking ceiling.

01:14:25.000 And I just close my eyes.

01:14:26.000 I'm like, God damn it, Cal, calm the fuck down.

01:14:28.000 Calm the fuck down.

01:14:29.000 Calm the fuck down.

01:14:30.000 Breathe.

01:14:33.000 Can't even see my hands in front of me.

01:14:35.000 I have two watches on.

01:14:36.000 They're glowing, right?

01:14:37.000 Those are my...

01:14:37.000 They let me know my depth, my time, everything, right?

01:14:39.000 I have two dive computers.

01:14:42.000 I check them.

01:14:43.000 I look.

01:14:44.000 I calm.

01:14:45.000 I check my light.

01:14:46.000 I got to turn my light and burn my pressure gauges.

01:14:51.000 They're glow in the dark, right?

01:14:52.000 So I charge it with my light and I look at it.

01:14:54.000 Okay, air.

01:14:55.000 Check my second one.

01:14:57.000 Okay, air.

01:14:57.000 I know my third one's good because I haven't even opened it yet.

01:15:00.000 That's just in case.

01:15:02.000 I breathe down and I fucking think.

01:15:03.000 And I can't even see my hands in front of me.

01:15:05.000 And to this day, I close my eyes and it gives me nightmares right now.

01:15:07.000 Just thinking about it.

01:15:09.000 Cloudy, dark, can't see anything.

01:15:10.000 All I can see is the hum of my light.

01:15:12.000 So I turn my light off.

01:15:14.000 And I'm trying to think like, all right, just calm yourself.

01:15:18.000 Figure this out.

01:15:20.000 Where's our partner?

01:15:23.000 I start feeling around and he's nowhere to be found, right?

01:15:26.000 Nowhere to be found.

01:15:28.000 So now I've calmed myself a little bit and I start feeling the walls and I start moving around.

01:15:34.000 I'm trying to think, where am I? But I don't know because we haven't been down this channel yet.

01:15:38.000 So I don't visually haven't made an imprint of, oh, there's that, there's this, right?

01:15:43.000 Kind of like a mental imprint in my mind because that's what we're doing as we're coming in.

01:15:47.000 Landmarks, right?

01:15:48.000 I don't have any of those.

01:15:50.000 I don't have any feel.

01:15:50.000 I don't have any touch.

01:15:51.000 And I'm moving around, moving around.

01:15:53.000 We took a compass reading of the direction of the front when we tied up at the first jump, right?

01:16:00.000 So I know 126 degrees is the way out.

01:16:05.000 But in a cave, they twist and they move and they're up and they're big and they're deep and they're low, right?

01:16:11.000 There's no rhyme or reason how the water made the cave.

01:16:14.000 So...

01:16:16.000 It's kind of a direction I can think of.

01:16:18.000 The first thing that comes to my mind, I start swimming that way.

01:16:20.000 Now I hit a wall.

01:16:21.000 Boom.

01:16:21.000 And I go down, I hit a wall.

01:16:23.000 And I'm fucking in panic mode again.

01:16:25.000 I fucking swim.

01:16:25.000 Now I just start swimming and kicking and fucking going crazy.

01:16:28.000 I make my way out of the silt and I fucking turn around and I'm back on the main line.

01:16:32.000 Right?

01:16:33.000 I find the main line to the cave again, which is 800 yards to the front, to the door.

01:16:42.000 I grab ahold of the main line.

01:16:43.000 I fucking reel it in again.

01:16:44.000 Okay.

01:16:46.000 Now, the entire behind me, deeper into the cave, is free.

01:16:51.000 It's no problem.

01:16:53.000 Silt free.

01:16:54.000 I can see everything's good.

01:16:57.000 Where I need to go is fucking silted out and blown gone.

01:17:00.000 Completely fucking washed.

01:17:01.000 I couldn't see you sitting there, but I can see everything behind us.

01:17:06.000 I can't see you.

01:17:07.000 I have the main line, but I don't have the jump line to get the fuck out.

01:17:13.000 So I started thinking, I was looking at the cave maps, trying, like, before we went, just trying to get a video of the direction.

01:17:19.000 I'm trying to remember landmarks.

01:17:21.000 But I can't see anything, and I can't feel it.

01:17:23.000 And I'm like, fuck!

01:17:24.000 There was a split up here.

01:17:26.000 So I start, I go back into the silt again.

01:17:31.000 And I start feeling around, and I'm feeling, and I find a hole, and I'm like, is that the right way?

01:17:37.000 Is that the one I want to go down?

01:17:39.000 Where does that one go?

01:17:41.000 Okay, maybe, remember, remember, remember, remember, that's not, okay, let's go to this next one.

01:17:45.000 I'm going to the next one, and now this is where it's got to be.

01:17:48.000 I'm going, but all of a sudden, I'm swimming against the current, and I remember when I came into this cave, there was this very slow current, which is why the entire cave is now washed out from that point on, right?

01:18:00.000 The current is taking out, so I'm like, fuck, you're swimming against the current, so you're going the wrong way.

01:18:04.000 I somehow worked that into my fucking panic mind.

01:18:09.000 Like, we're swimming into the current, we're swimming into the current, or we're going the wrong way.

01:18:12.000 So I fucking turn, swim back, I'm back on the fucking main line again, right?

01:18:15.000 I find the main line, out into the clear main line.

01:18:20.000 Fuck!

01:18:22.000 Fuck!

01:18:22.000 I start like hyperventing and panicking.

01:18:24.000 And I'm thinking, man, are you fucking you piece of shit?

01:18:27.000 This is how people die.

01:18:28.000 What the fuck are you?

01:18:30.000 Right?

01:18:31.000 And I'm keep reminding, kissing my wife and keep my kids saying, I'm coming home today.

01:18:36.000 I'm coming home.

01:18:38.000 I'm coming home.

01:18:40.000 So I do it again.

01:18:41.000 I fucking venture into the fucking great unknown fucking abyss, total blackout.

01:18:46.000 Another panic.

01:18:47.000 Another panic.

01:18:48.000 Fucking freak out.

01:18:49.000 Can't find my way.

01:18:49.000 Hitting my head.

01:18:50.000 Kicking.

01:18:51.000 Losing air by the fucking second, bro.

01:18:54.000 Because now I'm breathing hard.

01:18:55.000 I'm breathing fucking irrational.

01:18:57.000 And I'm sucking my tanks dry.

01:18:59.000 Right?

01:19:00.000 Mind you, I'm on air so I don't have...

01:19:02.000 There's no answer to this after I breathe my last breath.

01:19:08.000 Keep checking my thing.

01:19:09.000 Keep keeping my time.

01:19:10.000 Look in the direction.

01:19:11.000 Time.

01:19:12.000 Air.

01:19:12.000 Time.

01:19:13.000 Fuck.

01:19:13.000 Slow down.

01:19:14.000 Now I'm in pitch fucking black.

01:19:17.000 Can't see anything.

01:19:18.000 Trying to figure out where I'm at.

01:19:20.000 What I'm thinking.

01:19:20.000 What am I doing?

01:19:21.000 Okay.

01:19:22.000 We're running out of air.

01:19:23.000 How much time do we have?

01:19:24.000 We're at 28 feet.

01:19:25.000 I know we're at 28 feet.

01:19:26.000 I could probably breathe on this for about another hour on this tank.

01:19:29.000 Another hour.

01:19:30.000 So we got another hour.

01:19:31.000 Okay.

01:19:32.000 We've been in here fucking 38 minutes already.

01:19:34.000 How?

01:19:35.000 What are we going to do?

01:19:39.000 Start trying to find my way out, I can't.

01:19:41.000 Trying to find my way out, I can't.

01:19:44.000 Now I start thinking, what am I going to do?

01:19:48.000 I'm not going to drown, Joe.

01:19:50.000 Drowning is like my biggest fear of my life.

01:19:52.000 So we have a thing that's called a BC and we carry it on our back.

01:19:55.000 It's a buoyancy control device.

01:19:56.000 That's how you control your buoyancy when you're scuba diving, right?

01:20:00.000 It probably holds 20 big, huge, strong breasts.

01:20:07.000 Fill that motherfucker up.

01:20:08.000 This is my plan.

01:20:10.000 Fill my BC up.

01:20:12.000 Which throws me to the top of the cave.

01:20:14.000 Bonk.

01:20:15.000 Right?

01:20:15.000 Now I'm only...

01:20:15.000 Now I gotta flip upside down.

01:20:18.000 And I have to like crawl on the ceiling trying to figure out where the fuck I am.

01:20:21.000 How am I... Now I gotta get out of the cave upside down.

01:20:24.000 And I'm thinking, alright.

01:20:27.000 We've switched to our last bit of air.

01:20:32.000 How are we gonna do this, cowboy?

01:20:34.000 What are we gonna do?

01:20:36.000 Filled our BC up.

01:20:38.000 When I run out of air, I'm now thinking in my mind, how am I going to die, Joe?

01:20:43.000 Right?

01:20:44.000 Tell my wife, tell my kid, I'm not fucking, I'm coming home.

01:20:47.000 Now I got to fucking realize how am I going to die?

01:20:50.000 I have a notepad that you carry in your pocket to draw and write on.

01:20:53.000 I'm thinking, what are you going to say?

01:20:56.000 What's your letter going to be?

01:20:57.000 You're writing a fucking death letter?

01:20:59.000 You're awake.

01:20:59.000 You're a fighter.

01:21:00.000 We figured this out.

01:21:02.000 We don't fucking find a way to quit, you fucking bitch.

01:21:05.000 This is a conversation I'm having with myself while I'm in fucking complete panic mode, in complete darkness, thinking that this is how people die.

01:21:11.000 What the fuck are you doing?

01:21:13.000 You're going to write a letter to your fucking kid and tell her how you fucked up?

01:21:16.000 I'm sorry, daddy's not coming home?

01:21:20.000 So I'm fucking thinking I'm not going to drown.

01:21:23.000 I'm not going to breathe my last breath.

01:21:24.000 So I'm going to breathe this BC that I just filled up with air and I'm going to fucking breathe it until the oxygen level no longer happens and I just pass out.

01:21:31.000 That's what I've come to realize how I'm going to die.

01:21:34.000 I'm going to fucking just slip away and pass out, keep breathing the same air until I go away.

01:21:41.000 And I start thinking, you fucking piece of shit.

01:21:45.000 You're giving up.

01:21:46.000 You're having legitimate conversations with myself while fucking in complete panic.

01:21:51.000 You're going to quit.

01:21:52.000 You're writing a letter and you're going to fucking breathe your last air until you pass out, you fucking pussy.

01:21:57.000 You're a fighter.

01:21:57.000 Figure the fuck out.

01:22:00.000 So I'm upside down.

01:22:02.000 I'm crawling on the ceiling.

01:22:03.000 I remember when I came in.

01:22:06.000 We came in the big cave and there's a huge fucking crack that runs along the top.

01:22:10.000 Turn both my watches off now at this point because they're giving off light and I kill my light.

01:22:14.000 I said, that crack's going to fucking lead to the surface.

01:22:17.000 That crack's going to fucking give us something.

01:22:19.000 So I just start panicking me, panicking again because I'm panicking and I don't know what to do.

01:22:25.000 I'm sucking air and I'm fucking breathing hard and I'm hyperventilating.

01:22:28.000 I'm crawling on the ceiling, crawling on the ceiling, looking for this fucking crack and goddammit, I found it.

01:22:34.000 I found the crack.

01:22:35.000 And I followed the crack.

01:22:36.000 And the crack got bigger.

01:22:37.000 And all of a sudden I see fucking glow.

01:22:39.000 Like green glow.

01:22:41.000 Crawl on, crawl on, crawl on.

01:22:42.000 Find it.

01:22:43.000 Try to get up.

01:22:43.000 My tanks are too big.

01:22:44.000 I can't fucking get out of the little hole.

01:22:47.000 I can't get out of the hole.

01:22:48.000 I'm fucking bink, bink, bink, bink, bink.

01:22:51.000 Fucking hitting, screaming, freaking out.

01:22:54.000 Calm down cowboy.

01:22:55.000 Calm down cowboy.

01:22:55.000 This is the way.

01:22:56.000 Calm the fuck down.

01:22:58.000 Reel it in.

01:22:59.000 We're here.

01:23:00.000 We made it.

01:23:02.000 Grab control.

01:23:05.000 Follow the cracks more.

01:23:06.000 Opens up.

01:23:06.000 Out.

01:23:07.000 Boom.

01:23:07.000 There's the cave.

01:23:08.000 Fucking I'm out.

01:23:10.000 Made it.

01:23:11.000 You're coming home.

01:23:13.000 You want to talk about...

01:23:14.000 Motherfucking war!

01:23:17.000 Right?

01:23:18.000 That was the feeling.

01:23:21.000 Meanwhile, my guy's out there.

01:23:22.000 I can't even be mad at him because he panicked.

01:23:25.000 He grabbed the line.

01:23:25.000 He fucking ran out the hole.

01:23:29.000 He looks at me and he says...

01:23:32.000 Um...

01:23:36.000 So we're not diving together ever again, are we?

01:23:38.000 I said, no.

01:23:39.000 That was it.

01:23:42.000 That was it.

01:23:43.000 And I text my girl, I love you, baby.

01:23:46.000 And today was a fucking scary moment.

01:23:49.000 But daddy's coming home.

01:23:52.000 And it was fucking so crazy because that was...

01:23:54.000 I mean, I've almost died numerous times, but almost dying slowly, which puts it in perspective to me, like, these guys on death row, I always thought, like, yeah, fucking kill a murderer, man.

01:24:05.000 That's...

01:24:05.000 Fuck them.

01:24:08.000 Dude, knowing the time and how much time you have left, that's some scary shit, Joe.

01:24:15.000 Knowing that you have two hours left.

01:24:17.000 How much energy have left at the end?

01:24:20.000 Maybe another hour, probably.

01:24:22.000 An hour and some change.

01:24:26.000 But, could you imagine?

01:24:28.000 I had to talk to myself of how I was going to die.

01:24:31.000 Like, to me, that fucked me up.

01:24:33.000 That fucked me up really bad.

01:24:35.000 Like, I probably had to go do some mushrooms and ask myself some questions now because that fucked me up bad, but the inner me, the fighter, the you do new ferret the fuck out.

01:24:45.000 But, was I going to write a letter?

01:24:48.000 I was fucking damn close to writing a letter.

01:24:51.000 It was crazy, man.

01:24:52.000 It was wild.

01:24:54.000 Damn.

01:24:55.000 Hopefully I explained that good for everybody.

01:24:57.000 You explained it like a motherfucker.

01:24:59.000 Yeah, I'm nervous.

01:25:00.000 I felt like I was there.

01:25:03.000 Fuck, dude.

01:25:04.000 That is crazy.

01:25:06.000 Yeah.

01:25:07.000 Man.

01:25:08.000 And I'm going to do it again.

01:25:11.000 Like, I'm not scared of it.

01:25:12.000 Like, that just needs to be done better.

01:25:15.000 I'll run my own motherfucking line.

01:25:18.000 Well, it also shows you how important it is, like, what your wife was saying.

01:25:22.000 Yeah.

01:25:23.000 You can't...

01:25:24.000 She knew something.

01:25:25.000 She had a sense.

01:25:27.000 When people fuck up a lot or when they're just that person that just can't keep it together, you gotta be real careful around those people.

01:25:34.000 Yeah.

01:25:35.000 Yeah.

01:25:36.000 Fucking crazy shit, man.

01:25:39.000 I mean, that's why people kill those people in war.

01:25:42.000 You know, they're just like, look, we can't do this.

01:25:45.000 Yeah, we can't.

01:25:45.000 You're getting everybody killed.

01:25:46.000 Yeah, your panic is, sorry.

01:25:49.000 Yeah, you're not hanging in there.

01:25:52.000 You've become a detriment.

01:25:54.000 Fuck, dude.

01:25:55.000 That is one of the craziest stories I've ever heard in my life.

01:25:58.000 I'm glad I got to share it with you.

01:25:59.000 It's fucking impressive.

01:26:01.000 Let's move on.

01:26:03.000 I don't know how we can.

01:26:04.000 I don't know how we can move past that one, man.

01:26:08.000 Fuck.

01:26:09.000 So as the Tap Out guys did for me, I'm starting a new fight series, Cowboy Fight Series, man.

01:26:15.000 Amateur.

01:26:16.000 And we're traveling all around the country, and we're going to be putting shows up.

01:26:20.000 And I'm going to try and find these new up-and-coming kids and bring them to the ranch.

01:26:23.000 What are you doing it on?

01:26:25.000 Well, I was talking about Ant with Fight Pass.

01:26:27.000 I think we're going to get it on UFC Fight Pass.

01:26:28.000 Nice.

01:26:29.000 And, yeah, we're going to have probably eight undercard fights.

01:26:34.000 Probably two local guys in that area.

01:26:36.000 And then we're going to do a four-man tournament for the assigned weight class.

01:26:40.000 We'll probably go, I don't know, maybe like a 70 or 85, maybe 55 first.

01:26:45.000 And the winner of the four-man tournament gets to come live with me.

01:26:49.000 Train, get brought up.

01:26:51.000 I know everybody, man.

01:26:52.000 I can make a call and get them on all the local promotions.

01:26:55.000 You know what I mean?

01:26:55.000 Get them, build these guys up and try and give back, man.

01:26:58.000 And do like what the tap out guys did for me and just really, I don't know.

01:27:03.000 That's a great idea.

01:27:05.000 Do you think you're going to transition into promoting or managing or anything or training when you're done?

01:27:10.000 I won't do any training.

01:27:12.000 No?

01:27:12.000 No.

01:27:13.000 When I round the corner in life, I ain't looking back, Joe.

01:27:18.000 When I finally hit the corner, I ain't looking back.

01:27:20.000 But I'll definitely help these dudes out, man.

01:27:22.000 I'll figure it out.

01:27:23.000 Him, her, whatever it may be.

01:27:25.000 You have no desire to train people.

01:27:28.000 People tell me I can teach very well.

01:27:30.000 I just don't agree.

01:27:31.000 I don't know.

01:27:35.000 Maybe it'll be something that'll be more interesting to you when you're not competing.

01:27:38.000 Right.

01:27:39.000 Exactly.

01:27:40.000 You know, but I'm hoping I move into the movies.

01:27:42.000 I'm going to be a movie star.

01:27:43.000 Yeah.

01:27:43.000 Well, that sounds like fun.

01:27:44.000 I just did Equalizer 2 with Denzel Washington.

01:27:47.000 It was a lot of fun.

01:27:48.000 I had a small partner, but I'm with the Dash now, Brand X guys, and doing a lot of stunts and having fun with that.

01:27:54.000 How's Denzel?

01:27:57.000 He's great.

01:28:00.000 Yeah.

01:28:00.000 Great dude.

01:28:02.000 Great dude.

01:28:04.000 Never met him.

01:28:05.000 Yeah, he was cool.

01:28:07.000 He was super cool to me.

01:28:08.000 Super nice.

01:28:09.000 It was fun.

01:28:10.000 It was fun working.

01:28:11.000 You know, I worked on a movie with Jay Haran.

01:28:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:28:13.000 He's in that, too.

01:28:14.000 Yeah, he's in that, too.

01:28:15.000 It was cool.

01:28:17.000 Denzel's an Uber driver, and Jay fights him in a car.

01:28:20.000 It was pretty cool.

01:28:21.000 Denzel's one of the greatest actors that's ever lived.

01:28:23.000 Absolutely.

01:28:23.000 I agree with you.

01:28:25.000 100%.

01:28:25.000 You go over, like, some of the greatest actors that's ever lived, you've got to have him on that list.

01:28:30.000 Like, you've got a chance to work with one of the all-time greats.

01:28:32.000 And he's so cool as a Cadillac out there, man.

01:28:36.000 He's just, you know?

01:28:37.000 Is it weird to be working with him?

01:28:39.000 It kind of was, but he was real.

01:28:41.000 I mean, on set, watching Dendell, and then Denzel on set is kind of different.

01:28:44.000 But he, you know, a lot of the...

01:28:48.000 There he is.

01:28:48.000 There's Jay.

01:28:49.000 Oh, man.

01:28:51.000 That's cool, right?

01:28:53.000 It was fun, man.

01:28:54.000 It was such a learning experience.

01:28:55.000 Anyways, I was here last week, and I met with Pete Berg.

01:28:59.000 Who's the director.

01:29:00.000 He just did that Mile 22. Yeah.

01:29:03.000 And I just got on a new Mark Wahlberg movie.

01:29:05.000 So I got a smaller thing on that, but he asked me to do the fight choreograph for the whole movie.

01:29:10.000 Wow.

01:29:11.000 Yeah.

01:29:11.000 Pumped on it, man.

01:29:12.000 I'm excited.

01:29:13.000 Working with the guys doing that.

01:29:15.000 It should be fun.

01:29:17.000 So you enjoy it?

01:29:18.000 Love it.

01:29:19.000 It's cool.

01:29:19.000 It's just another avenue.

01:29:20.000 Yeah.

01:29:21.000 Just another something fun to do.

01:29:23.000 No, that'd be a good transition for you.

01:29:25.000 You know, so that's kind of my plan.

01:29:27.000 But last night, over a game at Baccarat, I'm going to be a new race car driver.

01:29:34.000 How'd that happen?

01:29:35.000 My buddy, Ricky Stenhouse Jr., he has a dirt track race team.

01:29:38.000 So, January, it's called the Chili Bowl.

01:29:43.000 Chili Bowl?

01:29:43.000 Chili Bowl, 300 entries.

01:29:46.000 And you take over five days, you race, and you work your way up to enter the Saturday night of the Chili Bowl, and you get down there.

01:29:53.000 Dude, these are 400-horsepower cars.

01:29:56.000 You know, and, or, excuse me, they weigh 400 pounds.

01:29:59.000 Man, I don't know what it is.

01:29:59.000 I can't tell.

01:30:00.000 Like, I don't know.

01:30:01.000 I don't know anything about it.

01:30:02.000 They weigh more than 400 pounds, right?

01:30:04.000 They're 400 horsepower, but they weigh 900 pounds.

01:30:06.000 Really?

01:30:07.000 Yeah.

01:30:08.000 Oh, my God.

01:30:09.000 And the dirt track.

01:30:10.000 That's insane.

01:30:11.000 Do you have some video of Chili Bowl?

01:30:14.000 400 horsepower, 900 pounds is insane.

01:30:17.000 Yeah.

01:30:17.000 And they just shit and git.

01:30:20.000 Right.

01:30:23.000 And...

01:30:24.000 So yeah, that's it.

01:30:25.000 I'm in January.

01:30:27.000 I'm going to the Chili Bowl.

01:30:29.000 And I'm fucking going to give it hell.

01:30:32.000 Wow.

01:30:33.000 How fun.

01:30:34.000 That sounds like a good time.

01:30:35.000 And I said, so is there like a couple warm-up days or practice?

01:30:39.000 Yeah, here it is.

01:30:40.000 Look at this.

01:30:42.000 Whoa.

01:30:45.000 A dirt track.

01:30:46.000 There it is.

01:30:46.000 Oh my God, that is insane.

01:30:48.000 So you're just going sideways everywhere.

01:30:49.000 Yeah, just drifting.

01:30:50.000 The whole thing is like halfway drifting.

01:30:52.000 Right?

01:30:52.000 Yeah.

01:30:54.000 Look at all those people.

01:30:56.000 Everyone's going completely sideways around these corners.

01:30:58.000 It's hilarious.

01:31:00.000 So in January, I told Oklahoma, that's going to be me.

01:31:03.000 Wow.

01:31:04.000 Running it.

01:31:05.000 I can't wait.

01:31:06.000 It's going to be so fun.

01:31:07.000 Wow.

01:31:08.000 That looks like a good time.

01:31:09.000 And I said, hey man, I want to tell you just because of my ego, right?

01:31:14.000 That I'm a good racer, but I don't really know if I am.

01:31:17.000 I race go-karts.

01:31:19.000 If you want to go down to the local go-kart track, we'll give it hell.

01:31:22.000 But have I ever done that?

01:31:23.000 Never.

01:31:24.000 I'm so excited.

01:31:25.000 Are you going to practice?

01:31:26.000 I said, is there some warm-up or practice days?

01:31:29.000 And they said, no, you can get five laps before the race.

01:31:34.000 And I said...

01:31:34.000 That's not enough.

01:31:35.000 No.

01:31:36.000 You need a couple of hours.

01:31:38.000 Hours, days, a couple of weeks?

01:31:39.000 You need someone to show you, like, where do you, in the apex of the term, when do I jump on the gas?

01:31:44.000 So, what...

01:31:46.000 So fast forward into January, Cowboys are going to have five laps to fucking get it and then I'm on.

01:31:51.000 Is there a place you can go to practice?

01:31:53.000 I guess you have to rent a track.

01:31:55.000 I was at the Monster thing last night, so I was talking with all the drivers.

01:31:59.000 And they were like, no, we don't practice.

01:32:01.000 We just race.

01:32:02.000 We just race to race.

01:32:03.000 There's no practice.

01:32:04.000 And I was like, huh?

01:32:06.000 You don't what?

01:32:07.000 You just race?

01:32:08.000 Okay.

01:32:09.000 So...

01:32:11.000 Can I pick up one of these cars?

01:32:12.000 You all got like a loaner I can get in?

01:32:14.000 They're like, yeah, we got you, man.

01:32:15.000 You show up.

01:32:16.000 So Chili Bowl is kind of like, I guess there's 300 injuries over five days and you just fucking get after it.

01:32:23.000 Jesus Christ.

01:32:24.000 Get away.

01:32:25.000 I'm so excited.

01:32:26.000 It seems like that would be a skill, though.

01:32:28.000 Like, going sideways in the dirt like that?

01:32:31.000 You would have to learn how to...

01:32:32.000 A skill that I don't have.

01:32:34.000 No.

01:32:35.000 And they're letting you race with pros.

01:32:36.000 Yeah.

01:32:37.000 That seems silly.

01:32:38.000 That seems like jumping into...

01:32:39.000 Seems like going to Jacksonville.

01:32:42.000 Right off the street.

01:32:44.000 Slapping on some shin pads.

01:32:45.000 That's exactly what the fuck's happening.

01:32:47.000 That is so crazy.

01:32:49.000 So yeah, all you motherfuckers in Tulsa, Oklahoma in January, Chittable Cowboys coming in hot.

01:32:56.000 Hot!

01:32:58.000 So then they tell me I gotta pick a number.

01:32:59.000 I don't know what number to pick.

01:33:00.000 You gotta pick a number and you pick letters behind the number.

01:33:04.000 Wow.

01:33:04.000 So I need a good number followed by BMF because I definitely need that.

01:33:09.000 Right.

01:33:10.000 What would be a good number for you?

01:33:11.000 I don't know.

01:33:12.000 Would it be the year of your first pro fight?

01:33:15.000 Would it be the year your grandparents bought you the ranch?

01:33:19.000 That's not a bad one.

01:33:20.000 It'd have to be Wade.

01:33:21.000 What year would that?

01:33:22.000 What year is that?

01:33:23.000 I think 2011. 11 BMF sounds pretty fucking good.

01:33:28.000 11 BMF. Alright.

01:33:29.000 That sounds pretty good.

01:33:30.000 11 BMF. That sounds pretty good.

01:33:33.000 Right?

01:33:33.000 Yeah.

01:33:35.000 Fuck yeah.

01:33:36.000 I'm going to send you videos so you'll be able to play it and you'll be like, man.

01:33:39.000 That's not a bad one.

01:33:41.000 11 BMF is good.

01:33:42.000 11 BMF. Since it's the ranch, why not have it the birth date of the ranch?

01:33:48.000 Yeah, it's accurate.

01:33:51.000 You know?

01:33:53.000 There it is.

01:33:54.000 There it is.

01:33:54.000 So, for all you 300 entries, you see 11 on this motherfucker.

01:33:59.000 I'm putting you in the wall.

01:34:01.000 Coming sideways around that corner with very little control.

01:34:05.000 Almost no control.

01:34:07.000 And if you think you want to see me down in the pits and come and take your helmet off and get crazy, you're just going down.

01:34:12.000 What other shit are you doing that's ridiculous that you probably shouldn't be doing?

01:34:15.000 Mounted shooting.

01:34:17.000 Mounted shooting?

01:34:17.000 On a horse?

01:34:18.000 On a horse.

01:34:19.000 Do you put earmuffs on the horse?

01:34:20.000 Yes, of course.

01:34:21.000 Really?

01:34:21.000 Yeah, stuff them down in her ears.

01:34:23.000 Wow.

01:34:24.000 And what kind of rifle are you shooting?

01:34:26.000 Colt.45.

01:34:28.000 Oh my god.

01:34:28.000 Two of them.

01:34:29.000 That's hilarious.

01:34:30.000 Two Colt.45s.

01:34:30.000 Oh, so you're two-fisting it?

01:34:31.000 Yeah.

01:34:32.000 No, no, no.

01:34:32.000 So here's the rules.

01:34:34.000 You can't have more ammunition than the targets are on the field, right?

01:34:41.000 Okay, so there's ten targets.

01:34:42.000 Ten targets, so we load five shots into each six-shooter.

01:34:47.000 Wow.

01:34:48.000 Right?

01:34:48.000 So there has to be a gun exchange while riding full speed.

01:34:53.000 Shooting targets.

01:34:55.000 So you shoot one-handed while you hold it on with the other hand.

01:34:58.000 Yeah.

01:34:58.000 You never go wide up.

01:34:59.000 No, no, no.

01:35:00.000 I'm a right-handed, so I run the reins on my left and I shoot with my right.

01:35:04.000 Here it is right here.

01:35:04.000 This is it.

01:35:05.000 So on-hand is where you shoot on-hand.

01:35:08.000 Off-hand is when you put it over your arm.

01:35:10.000 So this is off-hand.

01:35:11.000 Great.

01:35:12.000 This is some cowboys and Indians shit.

01:35:13.000 That's it right there.

01:35:14.000 Oh, look at this.

01:35:14.000 You run around and shoot balloons.

01:35:16.000 Yeah.

01:35:16.000 That is hilarious.

01:35:18.000 Meanwhile, who are these people in the stands that are letting you shoot near them?

01:35:21.000 These people have their fucking mind.

01:35:24.000 You want to talk about people with a death mission?

01:35:27.000 Bitch, you're about to catch a bullet.

01:35:29.000 It's not live animation.

01:35:30.000 You're just shooting blanks.

01:35:32.000 Oh, really?

01:35:32.000 Yeah, so just the gunpowder is burning the balloons.

01:35:34.000 Isn't it crazy that just the blanks can do that much goddamn damage?

01:35:38.000 Yeah.

01:35:39.000 There's a guy in Hollywood, when I first came here in like 94, who was on a set and he didn't know that.

01:35:45.000 Right.

01:35:45.000 And he thought it'd be funny to put a blank up to his head and shoot himself in the head.

01:35:48.000 Yeah, some people shoot themselves, shoot the horse.

01:35:50.000 I mean, you shoot your horse, dude, and he's probably not going to want to do it anymore, is he?

01:35:53.000 Yeah, what the fuck, man?

01:35:54.000 Yeah, they think that it's just a noise.

01:35:57.000 It's not just a noise.

01:35:59.000 So learning, learning to get in your horse, training, getting around gunfire and doing it.

01:36:05.000 It's fun.

01:36:05.000 It's a good time.

01:36:06.000 That's like they're practicing for some old school revival.

01:36:10.000 Yeah, it's called SAS, Single Action Shooting Society.

01:36:14.000 Wild West fights and shit.

01:36:15.000 It is.

01:36:15.000 And during the competitions and during the shows, it's like they take it back and everyone dresses up.

01:36:21.000 That's hilarious.

01:36:22.000 Yeah.

01:36:22.000 Those are still, to this day, my all-time favorite movies, like The Unforgiven.

01:36:26.000 Westerns, come on.

01:36:27.000 Westerns are some of the greatest movies ever.

01:36:29.000 Ever.

01:36:29.000 I'm with you.

01:36:29.000 I love them.

01:36:30.000 I love them today.

01:36:31.000 There's something about them.

01:36:32.000 It's like, that's a short period of United States history, but that's the period where people were like, fuck it.

01:36:38.000 Let's see.

01:36:39.000 Yeah.

01:36:39.000 Let's see what goes on over here.

01:36:41.000 Let's see.

01:36:41.000 Let's cross this divide.

01:36:42.000 The weak guy.

01:36:44.000 Yeah.

01:36:45.000 He didn't make it, did he?

01:36:46.000 That's one area.

01:36:47.000 If there was a time machine, you can go back and see what it was like.

01:36:51.000 What if you could only go once?

01:36:52.000 And stay there?

01:36:53.000 And that was it.

01:36:54.000 It was a one-ticket ride.

01:36:55.000 I ain't going.

01:36:56.000 No?

01:36:57.000 No, this is the best time to live ever.

01:36:58.000 They would all want to come here.

01:37:00.000 Of course.

01:37:00.000 Yeah, why the fuck would I go back with no doctors?

01:37:03.000 But you would want to go to 3,000.

01:37:06.000 Meh.

01:37:06.000 How do you know?

01:37:07.000 Could suck a fat dick.

01:37:08.000 No, no, no.

01:37:09.000 Hold on.

01:37:10.000 So now you say that, but now how did the guy in 6AD know that 2018 was going to suck a fat dick?

01:37:15.000 Well, they would have to know.

01:37:16.000 They would have to know.

01:37:16.000 Like, we know.

01:37:17.000 Like, if we went back to 618, we're like, listen.

01:37:20.000 So what?

01:37:20.000 You'd go give them a little...

01:37:22.000 This is a laptop.

01:37:23.000 You opened up.

01:37:23.000 We have a thing called YouTube.

01:37:24.000 You get on it and you just search.

01:37:25.000 And that's where we live.

01:37:26.000 So if you want to come there, I'll trade you.

01:37:29.000 They would trade in a heartbeat.

01:37:31.000 But if you wanted to go to the future where everybody could read everybody's minds and no one had dicks anymore because we all reproduce through genetic engineering.

01:37:39.000 Yeah, if I lost that, it'd be over.

01:37:41.000 If you lose the dick, it's coming.

01:37:42.000 But there's like an orgasm button that's attached to this helmet that you carry around with you because there's no more oxygen on earth.

01:37:47.000 And everybody's breathing some new gas that's way better.

01:37:54.000 Yeah.

01:37:55.000 I don't know, man.

01:37:56.000 I think right now it's pretty fucking good.

01:37:57.000 I'm happy with today.

01:37:58.000 I like it.

01:37:59.000 So no era you'd go to?

01:38:01.000 Nah.

01:38:02.000 No.

01:38:02.000 If I could come back...

01:38:04.000 I'd go to like 1492, I think.

01:38:06.000 That'd be a good time.

01:38:08.000 See what it'd be like when they landed.

01:38:09.000 Yeah.

01:38:09.000 Columbus and I'd be a fucking wicked pirate.

01:38:12.000 I think I'd make a good pirate.

01:38:14.000 You'd definitely make...

01:38:14.000 There are a lot of homos, though.

01:38:15.000 Let's just know.

01:38:16.000 No homo.

01:38:17.000 Nothing wrong with that.

01:38:18.000 Pirates are gay.

01:38:19.000 A lot of pirates are gay.

01:38:20.000 I would be an un-gay pirate.

01:38:22.000 The un-gay pirate?

01:38:23.000 The un-gay pirate.

01:38:25.000 You better sleep with one eye open.

01:38:27.000 They'd come at me and I'd say, no, this captain don't play that, homie.

01:38:30.000 Your iPads would be this high sleeping.

01:38:35.000 Yeah, no.

01:38:36.000 No, no, no, no.

01:38:37.000 I would bring...

01:38:38.000 Yeah, I mean, it makes sense, right?

01:38:40.000 With the scarves and the crazy earrings.

01:38:42.000 They're all gay.

01:38:43.000 Makes sense.

01:38:44.000 Spitting at each other.

01:38:45.000 That's what they were doing, man.

01:38:47.000 That's a fact.

01:38:48.000 I'm not making that up.

01:38:49.000 Fair enough.

01:38:50.000 I think I'd go back to the Mongol days.

01:38:53.000 I'd like to see Genghis Khan.

01:38:54.000 I'd like to see just what that would look like when they would take over a city and kill a million people.

01:38:58.000 And rape and pillage.

01:39:00.000 Yeah, insane.

01:39:01.000 They didn't have any respect for anybody that didn't live in tents.

01:39:04.000 That's how gangster those people are.

01:39:06.000 They're like, you live in a house, you fucking bitch?

01:39:08.000 They didn't even treat you like you were a person.

01:39:09.000 They live in a tent with fire.

01:39:11.000 That's all they lived.

01:39:11.000 Felt tents everywhere.

01:39:14.000 Just took them everywhere.

01:39:15.000 Nomadic people.

01:39:17.000 So that would be your one stop.

01:39:18.000 I would like to see what that was like.

01:39:20.000 What if you could go back and then if you died, you'd come back here?

01:39:24.000 So that would be a place where you could be pretty sure that you were going to die.

01:39:31.000 Would Genghis open arms welcome you into the clan?

01:39:34.000 If I came back with an iPhone...

01:39:35.000 What would you be...

01:39:37.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:39:37.000 Or a lighter.

01:39:38.000 Dude, I got some shit to show you.

01:39:40.000 Lighter.

01:39:40.000 Zippo.

01:39:41.000 First of all, I'd have to tell him about Dan Carlin's Wrath of the Con audio series.

01:39:45.000 Let's play it for him.

01:39:46.000 You'd give him a phone...

01:39:47.000 You'd give him a phone, but there'd be no satellite tower, so there'd be no...

01:39:50.000 Right, right, right.

01:39:51.000 I would have to have some recorded shit already.

01:39:53.000 Preloaded on it, yeah.

01:39:54.000 Preloaded shit.

01:39:55.000 Huh.

01:39:56.000 Some videos and movies and stuff.

01:39:57.000 And what would you wear?

01:39:58.000 Would you come in Genghis Khan gear?

01:40:02.000 Or would you show up in like 2018 thermal...

01:40:06.000 Optical lens glasses.

01:40:07.000 Full riot police.

01:40:10.000 If I could bring anything, I would for sure be locked and loaded.

01:40:14.000 I want guns strapped to my hips, knives, fucking fully automatic.

01:40:19.000 So if you show up with a gun to Ganga Khan, you now become Ganga Khan.

01:40:24.000 I shoot him right in the dick immediately to take over.

01:40:26.000 All of a sudden, he's not worthy because you have a fully automatic assault rifle.

01:40:30.000 Yeah, I climb on the roof and just start jacking.

01:40:33.000 Predator style.

01:40:35.000 The new sheriff in town.

01:40:37.000 Like, for sure.

01:40:38.000 And then...

01:40:39.000 I'll be reading about Rogan.

01:40:41.000 Wasn't that a movie like that?

01:40:41.000 Wasn't that Jean-Claude Van Damme?

01:40:43.000 Time Cop?

01:40:44.000 Uh-huh.

01:40:45.000 Yeah.

01:40:45.000 Remember that shit?

01:40:47.000 They went back in time and he had a machine gun.

01:40:49.000 Someone did.

01:40:50.000 They went back in time and fucked people up and stole, like, Civil War gold.

01:40:54.000 Uh-huh.

01:40:54.000 Remember that?

01:40:55.000 But just like the movies say, I think if you fucked that shit up...

01:40:59.000 Yeah, you'd ruin everything.

01:41:00.000 You might be in there just mowing people down with a machine gun and then you would just vanish.

01:41:05.000 Right, maybe your mom doesn't exist.

01:41:06.000 Would you vanish though?

01:41:07.000 You'd have to, right?

01:41:08.000 Probably.

01:41:09.000 Or now that you're in this time, are you no longer in our time?

01:41:15.000 Yeah, the timeline changes.

01:41:17.000 Because you're there now.

01:41:18.000 Look at this.

01:41:19.000 See?

01:41:19.000 This guy's got fucking machine guns.

01:41:21.000 Check this shit out.

01:41:23.000 Watch this.

01:41:25.000 Look at this.

01:41:26.000 Where are you from, mister?

01:41:28.000 I'm from the future, faggot!

01:41:34.000 So that would be you.

01:41:35.000 Meeting Genghis Khan.

01:41:36.000 And would you learn a little bit of his language, you think?

01:41:39.000 Or would you just try and go in there with your iPhone and...

01:41:42.000 Google Translate?

01:41:43.000 Yeah, that would work without the internet.

01:41:45.000 I think that the only way you'd be able to communicate with him, you'd have to learn his language.

01:41:50.000 For sure.

01:41:51.000 Yeah, that would be...

01:41:52.000 How hard would it be to learn...

01:41:53.000 Do they even know how to say Mongol language anymore?

01:41:57.000 I don't think they even understand what the sounds were.

01:42:00.000 I think they're just guessing.

01:42:02.000 So you'd almost have to go back, grab one, bring them here.

01:42:05.000 Yeah, you'd have to have them teach you.

01:42:06.000 In-home teach you.

01:42:07.000 I don't know if they know how those people talked back then.

01:42:11.000 I think there's some real speculation.

01:42:14.000 Because you'd be so smart and know so much, but you couldn't communicate.

01:42:18.000 Right, yeah.

01:42:19.000 It's not like going to Mexico now where we kind of know...

01:42:23.000 Oh, Cerveza?

01:42:24.000 Right, right, right.

01:42:25.000 Yeah.

01:42:27.000 Well, I think that's the same with the Mayans.

01:42:29.000 And that was only a thousand years ago.

01:42:32.000 We don't totally know how they were talking.

01:42:35.000 There's a lot of speculation.

01:42:37.000 They're still translating a lot of those ancient Mayan ruins and texts on them.

01:42:42.000 In Cancun, that's where, like Tulum.

01:42:44.000 Yeah.

01:42:44.000 When I went to Tulum, I went to Chichen Itz, which is three miles.

01:42:48.000 I went there once.

01:42:49.000 Dude, how the fuck did you take the tour?

01:42:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:42:51.000 We had a professor take us on a tour.

01:42:53.000 It's so amazing, right?

01:42:54.000 And they talk about all the rituals and how they drink out of the snow days.

01:43:00.000 And then they tell me how they would cut their testicles.

01:43:04.000 And I was like, wait, what?

01:43:06.000 They're like, yeah, that's how the shaman or the grand mass, whatever, the head religious guy.

01:43:14.000 I don't know what the – I'm an idiot when it comes to that.

01:43:16.000 But they knew through – they're very smart, right?

01:43:19.000 They knew astrology and they knew when eclipses and what were coming.

01:43:22.000 So he would wait for the eclipse to come knowing, knowing that three minutes later it's going to just go ahead and pass.

01:43:31.000 But all the people that were with him had no idea.

01:43:34.000 They didn't know, right?

01:43:35.000 They had no idea that it was going to stop.

01:43:37.000 They thought they had done something wrong.

01:43:40.000 The gods were punishing them with darkness.

01:43:42.000 So when the darkness comes, he cuts himself and offers his blood to the gods.

01:43:49.000 Sun comes back out.

01:43:51.000 Dick blood, huh?

01:43:51.000 Dick ball blood.

01:43:52.000 Ball blood.

01:43:53.000 That's some precious blood.

01:43:55.000 Precious blood.

01:43:56.000 And at that moment, I was like, so wait a minute.

01:44:00.000 You were just tricking these people?

01:44:03.000 I've been tricked my whole life.

01:44:06.000 I go to fucking church and I've been tricked my entire life like you just tell these people that don't know enough and you knew the real but you told them it wasn't?

01:44:18.000 Wait a minute.

01:44:20.000 What's going on here?

01:44:23.000 I sat back and thought and I was like You probably had to do what you gotta do to control those people back then.

01:44:30.000 Goddamn savages.

01:44:31.000 Show them.

01:44:32.000 Show them a little ball.

01:44:33.000 So what about today?

01:44:34.000 You're not playing any fucking games.

01:44:37.000 Cut my balls.

01:44:38.000 Look, I'm controlling the sun.

01:44:40.000 Covered it with the moon, bitch.

01:44:41.000 And now everyone's like, oh my god, you brought light back.

01:44:44.000 Yeah, otherwise.

01:44:45.000 You know everything.

01:44:46.000 You have to.

01:44:46.000 And you have a machine gun.

01:44:47.000 You got a machine gun, too.

01:44:49.000 Bitch.

01:44:50.000 But I only have 30 rounds, so you couldn't get up there and really, you couldn't really, I mean, unless you came armed up, but how long would those bullets last you?

01:44:59.000 Because there's no way you're making a new bullet.

01:45:01.000 Yeah, everybody has to see it, too, because they're not going to believe it.

01:45:03.000 You're going to have to shoot everybody.

01:45:04.000 And if you brought a fucking machine gun back to the Mayans, what do the guns I'm playing with today look like?

01:45:11.000 Yeah, no kidding, right?

01:45:14.000 Yeah.

01:45:14.000 You'd fuck shit up.

01:45:15.000 Fuck shit up.

01:45:16.000 For thousands of years.

01:45:18.000 That's the thing about guns, though.

01:45:19.000 They get a little better over time, but you can have a gun from 10 years ago, and it's state-of-the-art.

01:45:24.000 I believe those guns 10 years ago, 100 years ago, are built better than the shit ones today.

01:45:31.000 Than the shit ones, yeah, but they still make real good guns today, too.

01:45:34.000 Sure.

01:45:35.000 But that's the thing.

01:45:36.000 It's weird, the technology of guns is sort of in, like, Like, you don't need it.

01:45:41.000 Like, with bows, one of the things about compound bows is a lot of people want to know the new models every year.

01:45:47.000 Yeah.

01:45:48.000 Because they get better.

01:45:49.000 Sure.

01:45:49.000 But they don't really...

01:45:50.000 Guns don't get that much better.

01:45:52.000 Like, a gun from 10 years ago is still a badass gun.

01:45:55.000 Well, like, I have a bunch of Henry rifles, right?

01:45:57.000 Mm-hmm.

01:45:58.000 The Henry rifle from years...

01:46:00.000 All-American made from years ago to the same gun.

01:46:03.000 They say, no, it's the same gun.

01:46:04.000 Yeah.

01:46:05.000 Yeah.

01:46:05.000 They nailed it.

01:46:06.000 Nailed it.

01:46:07.000 They got it.

01:46:07.000 Got it.

01:46:08.000 Yeah.

01:46:10.000 Yes, I wonder how much innovation is, how much room for it.

01:46:13.000 Well, until we start doing laser shit, like different, you know, they gotta re-amp.

01:46:18.000 You know what drives me crazy about lasers?

01:46:21.000 Like Star Wars type shit?

01:46:23.000 How come I could see them?

01:46:25.000 How come I could see them?

01:46:26.000 Because there's clearly fog in the room.

01:46:28.000 You didn't see them.

01:46:29.000 They're moving too slow.

01:46:30.000 With the lightsaber, they hit the thing.

01:46:31.000 They're moving so slow.

01:46:33.000 Bullets are so much faster than lasers.

01:46:35.000 You see them.

01:46:37.000 Maybe it's that long of a shot.

01:46:38.000 Maybe their bullet is that long.

01:46:41.000 I think a...

01:46:42.000 Oh, like a flying lightsaber.

01:46:44.000 Yeah, like...

01:46:45.000 Oh, I never thought about that one.

01:46:48.000 You're sending big laser beam.

01:46:50.000 Right.

01:46:51.000 Okay.

01:46:52.000 Not only does it hit you, but it just keeps going.

01:46:54.000 Right.

01:46:55.000 I didn't think about it that way.

01:46:56.000 Like you're shooting crossbow bolts of lasers.

01:46:59.000 Yes.

01:47:00.000 Of burning hot.

01:47:03.000 Is a laser hot?

01:47:04.000 It's got to be, right?

01:47:05.000 Or is it cold?

01:47:06.000 Well, there are cold lasers.

01:47:07.000 I had a bulging disc once.

01:47:09.000 And I went to this therapist.

01:47:10.000 They put cold laser on it.

01:47:14.000 I don't know, but I like this idea of flying.

01:47:16.000 And then she said, come back three more times this week and we'll get you in.

01:47:18.000 They just kept doing it.

01:47:20.000 I don't think it really worked.

01:47:24.000 But the cold bursts, I think, or the laser bursts, if it was like that, like flying lightsabers, holy shit.

01:47:31.000 Yeah, I think the bolts were just huge.

01:47:34.000 Until you let off the trigger.

01:47:35.000 Still too slow.

01:47:36.000 See if you can find a scene from Star Wars 1 where they're shooting at each other.

01:47:40.000 Those bitches, it's slower than an arrow.

01:47:43.000 They're not moving that fast.

01:47:44.000 If you try to watch an arrow coming from a compound bow, it's harder to follow.

01:47:48.000 So you couldn't catch it.

01:47:50.000 Yeah.

01:47:51.000 No chance.

01:47:53.000 No.

01:47:53.000 280 feet a second.

01:47:55.000 No chance.

01:47:56.000 You ain't catching shit.

01:47:57.000 But those bolts from those laser guns look slower than that.

01:48:02.000 And you're probably right, you wouldn't, the new laser, you wouldn't, there's no way you'd see it.

01:48:06.000 You wouldn't see shit.

01:48:07.000 But that's just theatrical for a movie, so you can see it coming.

01:48:10.000 But it just makes me feel like they think I'm an asshole.

01:48:12.000 So when you take this time travel, so if you could go forward or back, you would go back?

01:48:17.000 100%.

01:48:17.000 I would too.

01:48:18.000 Yeah.

01:48:19.000 I would too.

01:48:20.000 Well, I'm a human.

01:48:21.000 I don't think there's a good future for humans.

01:48:24.000 I think we're going to be something different.

01:48:25.000 So you think if you shoot forward, you might be the only one in there?

01:48:28.000 Yeah, there might be no more people.

01:48:29.000 Everybody's an android.

01:48:30.000 And now you're in a cage getting probed.

01:48:32.000 Oh, for sure.

01:48:33.000 They're going to test you.

01:48:34.000 I can't believe we found one of these.

01:48:35.000 What?

01:48:36.000 They're real.

01:48:36.000 It's like if they found a Tasmanian tiger or something like that.

01:48:38.000 Like, holy fuck, lock it up.

01:48:40.000 Lock it.

01:48:41.000 Probe it.

01:48:42.000 You ever see the video of the last Tasmanian tiger?

01:48:45.000 Uh-uh.

01:48:46.000 Jamie, see if you can find a video of the last Tasmanian tiger.

01:48:50.000 It died in a zoo.

01:48:51.000 I want to say in like 1930. Sad.

01:48:53.000 What's interesting is they think they're still alive.

01:48:55.000 But Australia is so big.

01:48:57.000 Australia is as big as the United States.

01:48:59.000 There it is.

01:48:59.000 That's a Tasmanian tiger.

01:49:01.000 That was the last...

01:49:02.000 What, just butt stripes?

01:49:03.000 It's a marsupial predator.

01:49:05.000 It's the last real mammal predator or marsupial predator that lived in Australia.

01:49:12.000 That's what it was like.

01:49:13.000 It was like a crazy dog-looking thing.

01:49:15.000 But they found...

01:49:16.000 Look at the mouth-open picture of it.

01:49:18.000 Look at the fucking mouth on that thing.

01:49:20.000 That is crazy.

01:49:22.000 But there are people that are real reasonable people that believe that there's still a few of those that exist in the wild.

01:49:29.000 There's been enough sightings of these things that they think that...

01:49:32.000 What is the actual name of that thing?

01:49:34.000 It's got a crazy name.

01:49:37.000 Thysaline, right?

01:49:38.000 How does it spell?

01:49:41.000 T-H-Y-C-A-L-I-N-E. Thylacine?

01:49:45.000 Whatever it is.

01:49:47.000 That would be us.

01:49:48.000 Being one of those fucking cages.

01:49:49.000 The last person.

01:49:50.000 Just wandering around.

01:49:52.000 Looking around.

01:49:52.000 Stupid.

01:49:53.000 All the robots are all probing us.

01:49:54.000 So if you could bring one person, would you bring a best friend or would you bring a female counter?

01:50:00.000 Gotta bring a chick, bro.

01:50:01.000 You got to, right?

01:50:01.000 You got to.

01:50:02.000 You got to?

01:50:03.000 Yeah.

01:50:03.000 Yeah, you got to.

01:50:05.000 I'm with you.

01:50:06.000 Because you want to bring your friend like, bro!

01:50:08.000 Look, I love to hang out with you, but you know how this turns out.

01:50:13.000 I don't want to be the last guy in a cave in China without some pussy.

01:50:18.000 No.

01:50:22.000 That would be, yeah.

01:50:23.000 But if I was a pirate, then I guess it would be okay.

01:50:26.000 What was the gay cowboy movie?

01:50:27.000 What was that movie?

01:50:28.000 Brokeback.

01:50:28.000 Yeah, we ain't going there.

01:50:29.000 No, we ain't going there.

01:50:31.000 We are not going there.

01:50:33.000 That's a little too intense, bro.

01:50:36.000 This fears that shall not be conquered.

01:50:42.000 No disrespect to the gay friends out there listening.

01:50:46.000 Cheers to you.

01:50:47.000 Hey, cheers to you.

01:50:49.000 I would definitely go in the past just to see what it was like in ancient Egypt or ancient Rome.

01:50:55.000 I mean, I just got back from Italy.

01:50:58.000 Right.

01:50:58.000 And we were, we checked out Pompeii.

01:51:01.000 Of course.

01:51:01.000 You know, and you're wandering around where all these people died almost instantly from volcanic ash, 20 feet high.

01:51:06.000 And you see other, you saw like they're, right, they chipped away and you can see the...

01:51:10.000 Yeah.

01:51:11.000 There's one where they found recently where a dude got hit in the head by a flying boulder.

01:51:15.000 You just see his skeleton and a giant rock where his head would be.

01:51:20.000 It's a way to go.

01:51:22.000 Yeah, I mean, you're like, ah, nothing.

01:51:23.000 Doom.

01:51:24.000 Done.

01:51:25.000 Blackness.

01:51:25.000 DMT world.

01:51:26.000 DMT. Is that where we go, you think?

01:51:28.000 Maybe.

01:51:29.000 There he is.

01:51:29.000 Look at that.

01:51:30.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:51:31.000 Wow.

01:51:31.000 Not kind of got him.

01:51:33.000 Oh.

01:51:33.000 Got him.

01:51:34.000 Look at that.

01:51:35.000 Look at the article.

01:51:36.000 It says, fuck Pompeii.

01:51:38.000 But fuck this man in particular.

01:51:40.000 Man.

01:51:41.000 Got him.

01:51:41.000 Whoever wrote that, that's hilarious.

01:51:43.000 Anything that was blowing from the mountain?

01:51:46.000 Yep.

01:51:47.000 Big chunks of rock that got spewed out of this volcano.

01:51:51.000 Wow.

01:51:52.000 Yeah.

01:51:52.000 The whole thing's crazy.

01:51:53.000 Like, when you're wandering around Pompeii and just realizing these people...

01:51:58.000 Look, he looks like he's face forward.

01:52:00.000 He got hit in the mug.

01:52:01.000 Right, like he saw...

01:52:02.000 Yeah.

01:52:03.000 Right.

01:52:04.000 Yeah, he got...

01:52:06.000 Yeah, it's true.

01:52:06.000 I didn't even think of that.

01:52:08.000 He wasn't running.

01:52:09.000 Oh, look at that one, man.

01:52:11.000 That is fucked.

01:52:13.000 Is that just volcanic ash mummification?

01:52:16.000 Yeah, just preserved volcanic ash.

01:52:18.000 Look at his teeth.

01:52:19.000 That is insane.

01:52:21.000 And it's spooky.

01:52:22.000 This guy is coming on my next trip for sure.

01:52:27.000 He's going to show up.

01:52:28.000 Yeah, he's going to show up.

01:52:33.000 Yeah.

01:52:33.000 Fuck.

01:52:34.000 That is the way to go.

01:52:36.000 Volcanoes, man.

01:52:37.000 Yeah, I have a friend who goes to the Big Island every year for Thanksgiving.

01:52:41.000 And I'm like, you going back?

01:52:42.000 He's like, fuck yeah.

01:52:43.000 I'm like, you're crazy.

01:52:45.000 You're going back.

01:52:45.000 That thing's on fire.

01:52:47.000 On fire.

01:52:47.000 What if it splits in half and sprays out?

01:52:50.000 It's taking over.

01:52:52.000 Then the gods.

01:52:53.000 We made the gods mad.

01:52:54.000 Pele.

01:52:55.000 Pele's pissed.

01:52:56.000 Pissed.

01:52:58.000 Well, what area do you think?

01:53:00.000 Did you go to the Wild West?

01:53:01.000 Where do you think you would go?

01:53:02.000 I rounded towards pirates, but then you super whipshot me back.

01:53:09.000 So yeah, we'd probably be...

01:53:10.000 How about Lewis and Clark?

01:53:12.000 If you could go on a Lewis and Clark expedition, how wild would that be?

01:53:16.000 Make your way across the unknown.

01:53:18.000 No one knew what the fuck was out there.

01:53:20.000 No one knew what the fuck.

01:53:21.000 Just taking a chance, trying to walk across the United States.

01:53:26.000 I mean, that's almost the same era I wanted to go when Columbus was trying to, like, you know what?

01:53:31.000 Let's just sail across this flat Earth.

01:53:34.000 Yeah.

01:53:34.000 They knew it wasn't flat back then.

01:53:36.000 And now we're back to flat.

01:53:37.000 Yeah.

01:53:38.000 Some people.

01:53:39.000 We discovered it wasn't flat, and now we're back to flat.

01:53:42.000 And I have this argument with people, and I said, while doing the pilot school that I'm in, like, you have to keep adjusting for the curvature of the Earth.

01:53:51.000 Yeah.

01:53:51.000 No, no, no.

01:53:52.000 It's not real.

01:53:53.000 No, the world's flat as fuck.

01:53:55.000 It's flat like that TV. It's just a lack of education.

01:53:59.000 It's an interesting thing, too, because it shows you how distracted people are.

01:54:03.000 They want to argue about something that's already been figured out.

01:54:06.000 And the videos and the literature that people come up with is insane.

01:54:11.000 If you Google Fat Earth, by the time it's done, you're like, Goddamn, it might be flat.

01:54:25.000 And they're going to put this in a video.

01:54:27.000 Cowboy realizes the earth is flat.

01:54:29.000 He had a lot of good points there.

01:54:31.000 Shit!

01:54:32.000 Yeah, if he's not sitting across from Neil deGrasse Tyson.

01:54:35.000 Because if he was, Neil deGrasse Tyson would be like, hold on!

01:54:38.000 That's not how it works.

01:54:39.000 Hold on.

01:54:40.000 That's wrong.

01:54:41.000 Hold on.

01:54:42.000 This is why we know that's incorrect.

01:54:43.000 See, I don't have the...

01:54:45.000 Knowledge to be able to check people out.

01:54:47.000 But you do know that you have to constantly readjust for the curvature of the earth.

01:54:50.000 Yeah, I know that.

01:54:51.000 But that's my one fact.

01:54:53.000 And then the rest of it, they're like, and then I'm like, huh.

01:54:57.000 The crazy one's the water.

01:54:59.000 Yeah.

01:54:59.000 They're like, water doesn't stay on a curve.

01:55:03.000 Yes, it does.

01:55:05.000 It does.

01:55:06.000 It's gravity.

01:55:06.000 It's called the oceans.

01:55:07.000 Yeah.

01:55:08.000 And if gravity's not real, where the fuck do you think waves come from, bitch?

01:55:12.000 Dude, and what do they say?

01:55:14.000 There's a glacier all around holding a 700-foot wall.

01:55:19.000 There's an ice wall around the outside edge, and then the government protects the ice wall.

01:55:23.000 Why?

01:55:24.000 Why would they?

01:55:25.000 Why?

01:55:26.000 Okay, this is just me.

01:55:28.000 I'm nobody.

01:55:29.000 I'm just Joe Blow reading an article.

01:55:31.000 Why would NASA and the government spend millions, billions, trillions, right, to protect the fact that it's around Earth when it's flat?

01:55:40.000 To me, I would say, oh.

01:55:42.000 Thank you.

01:55:43.000 We live on a flat earth.

01:55:44.000 This is where it gets even stupider.

01:55:46.000 Because they think that they're trying to protect us from the truth or shield the truth from us that we live in an incredible special environment.

01:55:55.000 We live in the firmament that's protected by a dome.

01:55:58.000 A dome.

01:55:58.000 The creator is real and that all the elite powers want to keep this information from you.

01:56:04.000 It's basically people that don't have an education that are failures that use all their energy misplaced to make these videos that don't make any sense.

01:56:13.000 They've figured it out, man.

01:56:14.000 They make sense.

01:56:15.000 They make sense to me.

01:56:17.000 I'm the dummy that watches like, huh?

01:56:19.000 Well, it's because anyone making a video where no one's interrupting you, no one's telling you you're incorrect, you're allowed to just continue saying bullshit things over and over and over again, unchecked.

01:56:29.000 And so if you listen to this and they use big words and they sound smooth and confident, You know, degrees behind them and charts.

01:56:37.000 Yeah, graphs.

01:56:38.000 And I'm like, clearly the picture shows ice wall.

01:56:40.000 They definitely don't have degrees.

01:56:41.000 There ain't nobody with a degree out there that's telling you there's an ice wall.

01:56:45.000 I don't know, man.

01:56:45.000 You can get some pretty shoddy degrees lately.

01:56:47.000 Well, there was an article recently about schizophrenia, and I think anybody that thinks it's really an ice wall and they have a degree, they should probably go to a doctor.

01:56:55.000 They're probably on some sort of medication.

01:56:57.000 And something's wrong.

01:56:58.000 There's some sort of the levels are off.

01:57:00.000 Do you really think there's an ice wall around a plate?

01:57:03.000 The earth's shaped like a plate.

01:57:05.000 So are they just pumping oxygen in?

01:57:09.000 Or our natural habitat creates it?

01:57:11.000 Do they believe that?

01:57:13.000 That's a good question.

01:57:14.000 They don't believe in gravity.

01:57:15.000 So I don't know what they believe in.

01:57:18.000 And what happens when we send rockets into...

01:57:21.000 It hits the dome.

01:57:21.000 Those are all fake, bro.

01:57:23.000 Rockets are fake.

01:57:24.000 Satellites are fake.

01:57:24.000 You know what else is fake?

01:57:26.000 Dinosaurs.

01:57:27.000 No.

01:57:27.000 They don't believe in dinosaurs.

01:57:28.000 But you want to know what's really funny?

01:57:30.000 Will you show me, Jamie?

01:57:30.000 Australia's fake, too.

01:57:32.000 Australia's fake.

01:57:33.000 We just saw the mummy from the volcanic...

01:57:36.000 Yeah.

01:57:37.000 Right?

01:57:38.000 Is he fake?

01:57:38.000 He's real.

01:57:39.000 It might be fake.

01:57:40.000 I don't even know.

01:57:41.000 We just looked at a picture on Google.

01:57:42.000 We really didn't investigate that.

01:57:44.000 If it's on the internet, it's real.

01:57:45.000 The dude who got hit in the head with a rock is real as fuck.

01:57:47.000 Real as fuck.

01:57:48.000 So, the dinosaur that got hit by a rock, he's fake?

01:57:53.000 Could be.

01:57:54.000 I wasn't there.

01:57:55.000 65 million years ago is a long time.

01:57:58.000 Yeah, especially when the Earth's only 6,000 years old, Joe.

01:58:01.000 They have one thing on their side, and this is the one thing on their side.

01:58:04.000 This is one of the reasons why they make this argument.

01:58:06.000 It's because when dinosaur bones were first discovered, when they were first discovered, there was a whole race to find dinosaur bones, and there was a lot of fuckery.

01:58:15.000 There was a bunch of people that were faking things, and...

01:58:19.000 Piecing things together that didn't work and hiding bones and saying they found them.

01:58:24.000 They were just trying to make a name for themselves.

01:58:27.000 But that's just greedy human nature in the face of an actual real discovery that's very valuable.

01:58:32.000 That discovery was that they're dinosaurs.

01:58:35.000 That there was a gigantic breed of lizards that roamed the Earth millions of years ago.

01:58:40.000 Yeah, and so all that's just propaganda?

01:58:42.000 So you're saying in Colorado...

01:58:45.000 Yeah.

01:58:48.000 section where they're just doing excavations.

01:58:50.000 Yeah.

01:58:51.000 And huge giant feet print in the rock that you can go up and touch a different, probably four or five different species of bad-ass lizards.

01:59:02.000 My friend John, he knows a dude who owns a ranch in Montana, and they found a T-Rex on this guy's ranch.

01:59:10.000 They pulled a T-Rex out of this guy's ranch.

01:59:12.000 They found it in the ground, and they gave him a fuckload of money for it.

01:59:16.000 It was like, if they find some sort of discovery like that, that's worth a million dollars.

01:59:20.000 It has to be.

01:59:20.000 Yeah, it has to be.

01:59:21.000 But that's fake?

01:59:22.000 He buried that?

01:59:23.000 No, it's real as fuck.

01:59:24.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:59:24.000 They found this one thing that was poking up, and he brought in these archaeologists.

01:59:30.000 What would they be?

01:59:31.000 Dude, I would sell all but a tooth.

01:59:33.000 You're telling me you wouldn't have a T-Rex tooth hanging on a necklace?

01:59:35.000 Fuck yeah, I'd keep one tooth.

01:59:37.000 One tooth?

01:59:37.000 What is a person who searches for dinosaur bones?

01:59:39.000 Like, you have a bear tooth hanging?

01:59:41.000 I have a fucking T-Rex tooth.

01:59:43.000 Is it an archaeologist?

01:59:45.000 Right, but I was thinking archaeology being human history.

01:59:49.000 No, archaeology is what your wife pays.

01:59:51.000 Paleontology?

01:59:51.000 That's what they do because they're always digging up old shit.

01:59:53.000 Oh, that's so true.

02:00:05.000 Yeah, so true.

02:00:06.000 They come at you with shit.

02:00:07.000 Years ago, like, come on.

02:00:10.000 Get her a whip.

02:00:14.000 Yeah, paleontologist.

02:00:15.000 Yeah, so they called in a paleontologist.

02:00:18.000 The paleontologist started cleaning off whatever this was.

02:00:20.000 And then he's like, holy fuck.

02:00:22.000 He's like, this is a goddamn T-Rex.

02:00:25.000 Apparently, it's like a lot of it.

02:00:27.000 You know, sometimes it's like you only found a couple of bones.

02:00:30.000 They found a lot of shit.

02:00:33.000 I would like to see that, man.

02:00:35.000 If I could go back one of them Jurassic Park hamster wheels.

02:00:38.000 So now we're going back.

02:00:40.000 I'd like to see that, too.

02:00:41.000 Now we're going all the way back.

02:00:42.000 Yeah, that's Colorado right there.

02:00:45.000 That is fucking insane.

02:00:47.000 Insane.

02:00:47.000 So, what the fuck?

02:00:50.000 That is insane.

02:00:51.000 Yeah.

02:00:52.000 Do you know how much time that would take to falsify that?

02:00:55.000 Like, they go in there with...

02:00:56.000 So you gotta brainwash five people and tell them, what we're gonna do is...

02:01:02.000 We're going to go chip this rock out because we've got to fucking fake a bunch of people.

02:01:07.000 Have you seen this in person?

02:01:08.000 Yeah, I've been there.

02:01:08.000 You can crawl all over it.

02:01:10.000 You can walk on it?

02:01:12.000 Well, see that little gate right there if you back out a little bit?

02:01:15.000 Yeah.

02:01:15.000 See that little gate?

02:01:16.000 But that's just a little gate.

02:01:19.000 There it is right there, the little girl standing there.

02:01:22.000 That's crazy, man.

02:01:23.000 I mean, that's right there in Colorado.

02:01:26.000 Wow.

02:01:27.000 Right by Red Rocks.

02:01:28.000 Yeah, exactly.

02:01:28.000 It's right there.

02:01:30.000 It's hard to book a gig in Red Rocks, man.

02:01:32.000 They're booked up to like 2021, 22. You're going to do a live show?

02:01:37.000 I was trying to do a gig in Red Rocks.

02:01:38.000 That would be fucking epic.

02:01:39.000 I was trying, but I could only get like Tuesday nights.

02:01:41.000 Tuesday nights up until like 2022. You know what Tuesday night's better than?

02:01:44.000 You know what Tuesday night's better than?

02:01:45.000 Never.

02:01:46.000 Never.

02:01:46.000 No night.

02:01:47.000 Yeah.

02:01:50.000 Fucking awesome.

02:01:51.000 I'm going to need a couple of tickets for that.

02:01:52.000 All right, hook it up.

02:01:55.000 We need a couple of tickets.

02:01:56.000 So the people don't believe the earth is flat, not round.

02:02:02.000 They don't believe in dinosaurs.

02:02:03.000 They don't believe in nuclear weapons either.

02:02:04.000 Wow.

02:02:05.000 That's the other one.

02:02:06.000 Nuclear weapons are a hoax.

02:02:07.000 Hoax.

02:02:08.000 Yeah, only a few people don't believe Australia's a hoax.

02:02:10.000 And a lot of people say that's disinformation.

02:02:12.000 It discredits the flat earth movement.

02:02:13.000 They were saying their planes fly upside down and shit, and that's all upside down.

02:02:17.000 Where are the Australians coming from?

02:02:19.000 Because Kyle Noakes in Australia right now.

02:02:20.000 I could probably call him.

02:02:23.000 He's probably a government agent, bro.

02:02:24.000 He should be careful.

02:02:26.000 Shit.

02:02:26.000 Any phone call you make to him is just going straight to the Illuminati.

02:02:30.000 Damn, I'll call Kyle.

02:02:31.000 Kyle, are you in Australia?

02:02:32.000 Yeah, bro.

02:02:33.000 Yeah, you gotta be real careful.

02:02:35.000 Yeah.

02:02:36.000 What is he doing?

02:02:37.000 Is he retired now?

02:02:38.000 He's coming back.

02:02:39.000 He's trying to come back.

02:02:40.000 Really?

02:02:41.000 Well, the problem is he didn't fight his UFC career out when he retired.

02:02:46.000 So they still have him under contract?

02:02:47.000 Under contract.

02:02:48.000 How many more fights?

02:02:49.000 Don't know.

02:02:49.000 I didn't get into that.

02:02:51.000 So he wanted to retire and fight somewhere else?

02:02:52.000 I think he just wanted to retire, but now he's got the itch again because the itch comes.

02:02:56.000 So he's like, yeah, fuck it.

02:02:57.000 I'll come back.

02:02:57.000 Do maybe whatever.

02:02:59.000 And they're like, no, you come back with us or you don't come back at all.

02:03:09.000 Contracts.

02:03:09.000 Legal agreements.

02:03:11.000 Hmm.

02:03:11.000 Checky world we live in.

02:03:13.000 And I figure if he was a government agent, he could sweep that under the rug, right?

02:03:17.000 Yeah, but then it'd be too obvious.

02:03:18.000 It's part of the cover.

02:03:19.000 Part of the cover is you get him locked in the contract, so he becomes one of the regular working men.

02:03:23.000 He is a working man.

02:03:23.000 And he can say to you, Damn, Stan, they got me.

02:03:25.000 Goddamn contract.

02:03:26.000 And you're like, you're one of us, Kyle.

02:03:28.000 Meanwhile, he's wearing a wire.

02:03:30.000 Damn.

02:03:31.000 Yeah.

02:03:32.000 Well, damn you, Kyle.

02:03:34.000 Is the earth flat, Kyle?

02:03:36.000 It's definitely not.

02:03:37.000 Is the water...

02:03:39.000 Is that how they say it?

02:03:40.000 Water?

02:03:40.000 World Anti-Doping Agency?

02:03:42.000 No, the...

02:03:43.000 The Australians say water.

02:03:46.000 Oh, the water.

02:03:46.000 Water, mate.

02:03:48.000 No, that's water.

02:03:49.000 The water's upside down, mate.

02:03:50.000 Your mom.

02:03:51.000 Your mom.

02:03:52.000 Yeah.

02:03:54.000 Yeah, they're a different breed of human over there.

02:03:58.000 They just...

02:03:59.000 They evolved for hundreds of years.

02:04:01.000 Because they're prisoners.

02:04:02.000 Yeah.

02:04:03.000 We just...

02:04:03.000 What a great idea.

02:04:05.000 Bring them to the best place on earth.

02:04:07.000 And drop them.

02:04:07.000 Yeah.

02:04:08.000 See ya.

02:04:09.000 But the stupidest...

02:04:10.000 And the prisoners are like, yes!

02:04:12.000 Wait.

02:04:13.000 I don't have the...

02:04:14.000 I'm not getting the death...

02:04:15.000 Oh, you just dropped me on a super badass island.

02:04:19.000 Yeah.

02:04:19.000 That's bigger than the one you're on.

02:04:21.000 Bigger than the one you're on.

02:04:22.000 Way better weather.

02:04:23.000 Way better weather.

02:04:24.000 Gorgeous.

02:04:26.000 And then they dropped all these prisoners off and they started a crazy hierarchy.

02:04:29.000 And the ones that didn't really make it just went into the bush.

02:04:33.000 Yeah.

02:04:33.000 And they're still there today.

02:04:34.000 And then there's the Aborigines who are already there.

02:04:37.000 And then on top of that, hot chicks.

02:04:39.000 I don't know what they did.

02:04:40.000 They grow them hot out there in Australia.

02:04:42.000 Something about the prisoner genes.

02:04:45.000 The wild prisoner genetics.

02:04:47.000 Oh, yeah.

02:04:51.000 Stop about that wild fucking criminal gene.

02:04:54.000 Well, most of the wild criminal genes are the crazy alpha male guys, man.

02:05:00.000 The guys that are like the weaker 2018 liberals are saying, whoa, you can't do that.

02:05:10.000 Yeah, there's a lot of control going on today.

02:05:12.000 You can't do that, so you're going to Australia.

02:05:15.000 Yeah, you used the word faggot.

02:05:16.000 You used the word faggot.

02:05:17.000 Damn.

02:05:19.000 That's one of the last words.

02:05:21.000 Have I ever told you I got in trouble with the UFC for saying faggot?

02:05:26.000 I'm not allowed to say it anymore.

02:05:27.000 But you already just did.

02:05:27.000 I know.

02:05:28.000 We didn't call somebody yet.

02:05:30.000 You're just making the noise.

02:05:31.000 Yeah, this is like a shell.

02:05:34.000 We're in a bubble.

02:05:35.000 Okay.

02:05:36.000 So it's Vegas.

02:05:40.000 I'm drinking all night.

02:05:41.000 They had me do this show at 8 a.m.

02:05:43.000 on Sunday morning to reflect the fight.

02:05:46.000 It was me and CM Punk.

02:05:49.000 And I'm reflecting the fight that DC had with Anderson Silva, who I respect, appreciate, great dude.

02:05:58.000 I didn't like the way DC fought that fight.

02:06:00.000 So when somebody asked me about it, I said, man, he went out there like a fucking faggot and held him, you know.

02:06:06.000 He didn't fight to win.

02:06:07.000 Right.

02:06:09.000 Well, that was completely out of context.

02:06:10.000 I didn't mean that.

02:06:11.000 I didn't mean he was a homosexual.

02:06:14.000 I just say faggot like you're a bitch, like you're a punk.

02:06:17.000 So I have to explain myself.

02:06:19.000 UFC makes me put on this A rainbow shirt and tell them I apologize.

02:06:26.000 They put on a rainbow shirt?

02:06:26.000 Rainbow.

02:06:27.000 Oh, rainbow.

02:06:28.000 They made you put on a rainbow shirt?

02:06:30.000 Rainbow shirt to the PR team and apologize.

02:06:33.000 That seems homophobic in and of itself.

02:06:35.000 I have all the gay activist rights coming after me now.

02:06:39.000 They're wanting money.

02:06:40.000 How strange is that?

02:06:42.000 They want money from me because I offended.

02:06:44.000 You should donate.

02:06:46.000 I did have to donate.

02:06:47.000 I did donate.

02:06:48.000 So, anyways, I tried to get on and explain myself.

02:06:51.000 I said, man, I didn't call him a faggot like a faggot.

02:06:54.000 I called him a faggot like a bitch.

02:06:55.000 And that backfired big time.

02:06:59.000 Yeah, and I mean, that's just how I talk.

02:07:02.000 If I called you a punk bitch faggot, that's just what I say.

02:07:06.000 I don't mean it.

02:07:07.000 In any other way other than that.

02:07:10.000 But the thing is...

02:07:12.000 Here's the thing, right?

02:07:13.000 And I don't mean any...

02:07:15.000 Homophobia is bad, right?

02:07:17.000 But are words...

02:07:18.000 Are words bad?

02:07:20.000 Like, if you feel the same way...

02:07:23.000 Like, is it a real issue?

02:07:24.000 I'm sick beers and I have to pee so bad.

02:07:26.000 Go ahead.

02:07:26.000 Go ahead, pee.

02:07:28.000 You gotta pick your beer consumption up.

02:07:30.000 Yeah, I'm three in.

02:07:31.000 Sorry, take a break.

02:07:32.000 Good luck.

02:07:36.000 I think all words are dependent upon the context and your intent.

02:07:41.000 Like, what do you mean?

02:07:42.000 If you say to someone, like, come on, bitch, and they're your friend, that it's fun.

02:07:49.000 But if you say to someone, come on, bitch, and then you hate them, those exact same words are taking on a totally different meaning.

02:07:57.000 And that's the same thing with every word, except the N-word.

02:08:01.000 The N-word, it's like, it's so toxic.

02:08:04.000 You can't even use it joking around, and you definitely can't use it the way you could say almost any other word.

02:08:15.000 So, like, I had a bit that I was trying out for a while, but I had abandoned it, where I was like, the N-word's one word that you can't even call yourself.

02:08:24.000 Like, you can't even say, God, I'm such an N-word.

02:08:28.000 Yeah.

02:08:29.000 Because people get fucking mad at you.

02:08:32.000 You can't even say it, but here's the catch.

02:08:35.000 If you're a black guy, you could toss that shit around like a beach ball at a concert.

02:08:40.000 And it's fine.

02:08:42.000 And if you're a black girl, you could use it as well.

02:08:45.000 Although a little more sparingly, please.

02:08:49.000 Right?

02:08:51.000 They can't use it the same amount.

02:08:53.000 Black girls tend to use it just a little bit more leniently.

02:08:57.000 But they can do whatever they want with that word.

02:08:59.000 It's one of the more fascinating words, I think, in human history in terms of its impact, what it means, and how it can ruin your career.

02:09:09.000 Didn't that one congressman have to resign because...

02:09:14.000 Sasha Baron Cohen had him yelling out the N-word, right?

02:09:18.000 What was he?

02:09:19.000 It was just because of that, but that probably was on the list of things.

02:09:22.000 What did he do?

02:09:23.000 Was he a state rep in Georgia, maybe?

02:09:25.000 Speaking of the future, what is up with that commode you got in there?

02:09:27.000 That thing does everything?

02:09:28.000 Yeah, it does everything.

02:09:30.000 She eats hot water up your asshole.

02:09:32.000 It's warm when you sit down.

02:09:34.000 It's wonderful.

02:09:35.000 It's heated.

02:09:36.000 Yeah.

02:09:37.000 You would fit in great with the Pirates if you said, guys...

02:09:40.000 Just trying to be clean, bro.

02:09:42.000 Come try my commode out.

02:09:44.000 Give you a little hot a shower.

02:09:45.000 You're not a homophobic guy.

02:09:46.000 No, you're not.

02:09:47.000 But it's one of those things where if you say it, I guess if you're a gay person and you hear someone say it, you'd be really upset that they're being homophobic.

02:09:55.000 The problem is the word bitch is not good enough in a certain situation.

02:10:00.000 And they're trying to get that one, too.

02:10:01.000 Remember W. Kamau Bell wouldn't say...

02:10:05.000 He says he doesn't say bitch anymore.

02:10:06.000 I'm like, alright, dude.

02:10:08.000 You're self-censoring.

02:10:09.000 We're limiting language.

02:10:11.000 I did this podcast with Wolfman.

02:10:13.000 I'm serious.

02:10:14.000 And he tells me that he...

02:10:17.000 And I'm not a homophobic at all.

02:10:18.000 It just caught me off guard.

02:10:20.000 I didn't know how to take it when he told me that he...

02:10:24.000 Experiments.

02:10:26.000 He didn't kind of know if he liked boys or girls.

02:10:29.000 And I was like...

02:10:30.000 Oh, Jason Ellis?

02:10:31.000 Yeah.

02:10:31.000 Oh, okay.

02:10:32.000 Yeah.

02:10:33.000 And I was like, what?

02:10:35.000 You don't know what you like?

02:10:38.000 He's like, yeah, I've been to a couple parties, you know, and I just go both ways and we just have groups of people and sometimes it'd be groups of guys and I was just scratching my head and like, huh.

02:10:53.000 Okay, I didn't know how to take that.

02:10:57.000 If you don't expect it.

02:10:58.000 I've known him for years, years, and he dropped this ball on me, and I was like, man, I didn't know how to take it.

02:11:07.000 It caught me off guard.

02:11:08.000 It was weird.

02:11:09.000 He's like, what do you think?

02:11:10.000 You think, I like girls, but I also like, or I thought I liked guys.

02:11:17.000 It's weird.

02:11:18.000 What I wanted to say and what I said were two different things.

02:11:21.000 What did you want to say?

02:11:22.000 I wanted to say, man, no offense, but man, you put a dick in your mouth and you are a faggot.

02:11:27.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:11:29.000 So now you're changing the meaning of it again.

02:11:31.000 No, I understand that.

02:11:32.000 That's what I wanted to say.

02:11:34.000 That's what you wanted to say?

02:11:35.000 That's what the inner me was wanting to say.

02:11:38.000 And I just looked at him like, fuck.

02:11:41.000 I didn't, what?

02:11:43.000 Like I was just so blown back by it.

02:11:45.000 But why is that shocking if people are definitely gay?

02:11:48.000 It's not...

02:11:49.000 Right?

02:11:50.000 It's shocking because you didn't expect it.

02:11:51.000 I didn't expect it.

02:11:52.000 Right.

02:11:52.000 But it's not shocking that someone's gay.

02:11:54.000 No.

02:11:54.000 It's like, there's a lot of gay people.

02:11:56.000 Right.

02:11:56.000 Nothing wrong with it.

02:11:57.000 I don't care at all.

02:11:58.000 Nor do I. But when you don't expect someone to be gay, then you're like, whoa.

02:12:02.000 Because then you thought that he was like you.

02:12:04.000 Yes.

02:12:05.000 Like you and I, we're just a couple of straight guys hanging out.

02:12:09.000 But meanwhile...

02:12:11.000 Meanwhile, he was not.

02:12:13.000 He is...

02:12:14.000 The one thing that is odd with me with people that say things like that is that they go, sometimes, sometimes I like guys, sometimes I like girls.

02:12:24.000 Like, I couldn't imagine what that would be like.

02:12:27.000 Like, you're not sure.

02:12:28.000 You're not sure.

02:12:29.000 That's what I mean.

02:12:30.000 Like, what do you mean you don't know?

02:12:31.000 Sometimes you're straight, sometimes you're not.

02:12:32.000 Like, Joe, no matter what, every time I go to Baskin-Robbins, I get vanilla.

02:12:37.000 Do you?

02:12:38.000 That's what I'm going for.

02:12:39.000 You don't fuck with strawberry?

02:12:42.000 Rocky Road.

02:12:43.000 Sometimes I'll dabble in there, but if you brought me back vanilla, you know I'm going to like that.

02:12:49.000 It's not like, well, as long as I go there, sometimes I like, yeah, true.

02:12:53.000 I mean, there's people that, look, they're just wired different.

02:12:56.000 There's nothing wrong with it.

02:12:57.000 As long as it's not trying to fuck you.

02:13:00.000 But why would that be a problem all of a sudden?

02:13:01.000 It would be a problem if you don't want to fuck him.

02:13:03.000 True.

02:13:04.000 He was coming on to me.

02:13:05.000 That makes you realize what it's like to be a girl in the most insignificant ways.

02:13:08.000 Because with a girl, it's obviously more dangerous because guys are bigger than you.

02:13:13.000 Sure.

02:13:13.000 And they can actually hold you down and fuck you.

02:13:15.000 But when you're around gay guys, I used to work out at a gay gym when I was doing news radio.

02:13:20.000 Right.

02:13:20.000 I worked at Gold's Gym and Cole.

02:13:22.000 And I used to describe it.

02:13:23.000 I was a tasty little morsel in a big gay stew.

02:13:26.000 Yeah.

02:13:27.000 It was the closest gym to the studio.

02:13:29.000 It's a great gym, but it was filled with aggressive gay guys that had those scrunchy socks.

02:13:37.000 They were in a music video from the 1980s.

02:13:41.000 They were flash dance socks.

02:13:43.000 These guys like Timberlands and stuff and like super tan and roided up and just hitting on each other left and right with leather vests on.

02:13:52.000 I mean, it was crazy.

02:13:53.000 It was such a crazy scene.

02:13:55.000 And when you go there, you realize that these guys are like leering at you.

02:14:00.000 They're not looking at you like, what's up, man?

02:14:02.000 How you doing?

02:14:03.000 Using the triceps?

02:14:05.000 No, it wasn't that.

02:14:06.000 They'd be looking at you if you walked into an all-female lesbian super smoke show Gym.

02:14:14.000 That's how you'd be looking at all of them.

02:14:16.000 Yeah, but I guess.

02:14:19.000 What do you mean you guess?

02:14:22.000 Because all lesbian gym, they probably look like Tom Arnold.

02:14:25.000 In my fantasy that I'm in, they're all like super hot fitness models in there working out.

02:14:32.000 If they were legit lesbians, they'd be like, what the fuck are you looking at?

02:14:37.000 Then you would be the perpetrator.

02:14:39.000 You'd be feeling like the guys look at you and you're like, what the fuck are you looking at?

02:14:43.000 Yeah, I mean, the real thing is, I feel like gay and straight people, everybody can get along fine, as long as everyone's on the same page, and as long as They're not trying to fuck you if you don't want it, and you're not trying to fuck them if they don't want it.

02:14:59.000 Like, if you're not trying to fuck these lesbians, because you respect the fact they only like girls, that's all great, and the gay guys aren't trying to fuck you.

02:15:07.000 But the thing is, you can't tell by looking at someone.

02:15:10.000 Can we get mad at the double standard?

02:15:12.000 You're saying, hey, these gay guys, they say sometimes.

02:15:16.000 What about these girls?

02:15:17.000 They're like, well, I sometimes like girls, and sometimes I like guys and girls.

02:15:21.000 And then you're listening, they're like, yeah, that sounds like a pretty good idea.

02:15:24.000 That does sound like a good idea, and I think we should shut the fuck up about that.

02:15:27.000 Otherwise, they're going to get insecure.

02:15:29.000 They're going to stop that practice.

02:15:30.000 Let them keep going.

02:15:32.000 Have a good time.

02:15:33.000 But all of a sudden, I'm like, guys, I'm like, girls, hey, Joe, you want to come on the guide trip?

02:15:37.000 Exactly.

02:15:38.000 We're hypocrites.

02:15:39.000 No, I don't.

02:15:40.000 We're hypocrites.

02:15:41.000 Yeah.

02:15:41.000 But there's something about guys, for straight guys, the idea of a guy fucking you or making you suck his dick is the most horrific thing.

02:15:52.000 It'd be right next to the cave diving experience for me.

02:15:57.000 The nightmares would be, but I have no, zero ill will towards them, and I don't have any problem with them in any way in society, in any way, shape, or form.

02:16:10.000 I'm not even remotely homophobic.

02:16:12.000 I like gay people.

02:16:13.000 Sure.

02:16:14.000 But there's a reality that gay dudes are dudes.

02:16:17.000 And dudes are kind of gross.

02:16:19.000 And they will try to fuck you.

02:16:21.000 And that's the one thing.

02:16:22.000 I had a friend of mine who was a wardrobe guy and he was a gay guy.

02:16:26.000 And he was always telling me about these straight dudes that he would lure them in and turn them and get them to suck his dick.

02:16:33.000 He's hilarious.

02:16:34.000 My wrestling coach tells stories about that about college.

02:16:37.000 How the gay guys would fuck the football players.

02:16:42.000 And I'm like, wait, the big bad football college guys are getting...

02:16:45.000 What?

02:16:47.000 Yeah, and same thing.

02:16:49.000 Yeah, that's...

02:16:50.000 There's...

02:16:50.000 They love it.

02:16:51.000 They love to turn this...

02:16:53.000 Just like a guy would love to turn a lesbian.

02:16:55.000 Love.

02:16:56.000 That would be a mission, wouldn't it?

02:16:57.000 Yeah, I used to have a joke about that.

02:16:59.000 That guys believe in gay guys.

02:17:01.000 Like, I believe in gay guys.

02:17:03.000 But I don't really believe in lesbians.

02:17:06.000 I think they think they're lesbians, but that's just because they ain't got a hold of this sweet dick that they ain't got me.

02:17:13.000 That's how every guy looks at a lesbian.

02:17:15.000 Like, yeah, yeah, I know she thinks she's a lesbian.

02:17:17.000 Let me fuck her a couple times and be nice to her.

02:17:19.000 We're like, I can eat pussy way better than another girl, I feel.

02:17:22.000 They don't know what they're doing now, the kind of endurance.

02:17:24.000 Jeez.

02:17:25.000 There's no way.

02:17:25.000 And I brought the dick.

02:17:27.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:17:29.000 Not only did I eat your pussy.

02:17:33.000 And I brought the dick.

02:17:35.000 And I brought the dick.

02:17:38.000 Yeah, so men don't necessarily totally believe in lesbians.

02:17:42.000 But they 100% believe in gay dudes.

02:17:45.000 Then why don't butch girls act more like super...

02:17:50.000 I mean, they do.

02:17:50.000 They cut their hair and they work.

02:17:51.000 Some of them do.

02:17:52.000 But the gay guys all got the snap and the priss.

02:17:57.000 No, they don't, though.

02:17:58.000 There's some fucking beefy bodybuilder gay dudes that look like straight guys.

02:18:04.000 You can't tell.

02:18:06.000 Until they slap your ass in the gym until you get set.

02:18:08.000 And then you're like, whoa.

02:18:10.000 No, I don't need a spot, kind sir.

02:18:14.000 You stop right there.

02:18:17.000 It should be a way to tell.

02:18:18.000 They have different markings.

02:18:20.000 Oh, shit.

02:18:21.000 Different kinds of birds.

02:18:22.000 Like, oh, that's a female.

02:18:23.000 It's a female bird.

02:18:24.000 See those extra feathers?

02:18:25.000 But what if it's a transgender now?

02:18:27.000 Oh, now you don't know what.

02:18:29.000 What if it's wearing female feathers, but...

02:18:33.000 That's an odd one, right?

02:18:34.000 Because that's one that, like, we didn't think about weird kids.

02:18:37.000 And now you have children, so how do you feel about if your little girl has to go to the bathroom, but there's a guy-girl in there?

02:18:46.000 Well...

02:18:46.000 Like, what draws the line?

02:18:47.000 I would hope...

02:18:50.000 Either way, like if your son is going to the bathroom and there's some pedophile child molester that preys on boys and he has to be a guy and he's in that bathroom, it has nothing to do with your sexual orientation.

02:19:02.000 It has to do with you being a predator and a piece of shit.

02:19:06.000 But that could happen for straight people just as easily as it happened for gay people, just as easily as it happened for trans people.

02:19:13.000 It's someone who's willing to prey on smaller people that are vulnerable.

02:19:18.000 I wasn't But you know what I'm saying?

02:19:20.000 There's a lot of trans people that would be more than happy to be really friendly to your daughter and use the girls' room and it wouldn't be an issue at all.

02:19:28.000 She pulls out a wiener and pees.

02:19:30.000 That could be an issue.

02:19:32.000 And your daughter's like...

02:19:34.000 What in the hell?

02:19:36.000 Dad...

02:19:38.000 Right.

02:19:39.000 But what if you had a girl who became a transgender girl, and she has big tits, but she wanted to keep her dick?

02:19:44.000 Yeah.

02:19:45.000 And where'd she go?

02:19:46.000 She's wearing a skirt, high heels right now, today.

02:19:48.000 Where'd she go?

02:19:49.000 Which bathroom shoes?

02:19:50.000 I don't know.

02:19:51.000 I want to say she's got the equipment.

02:19:55.000 Right.

02:19:55.000 She's got the equipment.

02:19:57.000 Full equipment.

02:20:00.000 For the male.

02:20:02.000 But she has tits.

02:20:04.000 Here's a perfect example.

02:20:05.000 Go to Bailey J's Twitter page.

02:20:07.000 I'm just saying, I think that would worry.

02:20:10.000 She feels like a woman, but she was born a man.

02:20:13.000 But she's got a dick.

02:20:13.000 Yeah, but she has a dick.

02:20:16.000 Bailey J's my favorite example.

02:20:18.000 I hope she doesn't mind me using her.

02:20:19.000 Because she's a transgender girl that is as much a girl as you could possibly get while still having a dick.

02:20:29.000 Like, see?

02:20:30.000 Look at that tit.

02:20:31.000 That confused the fuck out of you, right?

02:20:33.000 You're like, hey, what's going on here?

02:20:35.000 Now go to the media, her media page.

02:20:38.000 Did they kill her?

02:20:39.000 No, she's alive.

02:20:40.000 Did they kill her?

02:20:42.000 No, no, no.

02:20:43.000 I mean, she pulls her dick out.

02:20:45.000 This is the thing.

02:20:46.000 Like, she's got a giant dick.

02:20:48.000 So she's got these big tits and then, hey, there you go.

02:20:51.000 Oh, man.

02:20:52.000 Yeah, so where is she peeing?

02:20:54.000 You know, I'm cool with her going to the girls' room.

02:20:57.000 And what...

02:20:57.000 Yeah.

02:20:58.000 I mean, just...

02:20:59.000 She's gonna probably squat.

02:21:02.000 It's not like she's gonna stand there with her pants down, just hosing the wall, letting everybody know.

02:21:07.000 So, do you feel...

02:21:07.000 I mean, if she went into the men's room, that would cause more of a conflict?

02:21:10.000 Oh, yeah.

02:21:11.000 Yeah.

02:21:12.000 Could you imagine?

02:21:13.000 Could you imagine something like that?

02:21:14.000 So, for her safety, you're saying, let her go into the female...

02:21:18.000 Yeah.

02:21:18.000 Not just for her safety, but just like who she identifies with.

02:21:22.000 Look, it's a weird thing, right?

02:21:23.000 It's so weird.

02:21:24.000 Because a trans person is...

02:21:24.000 Do you go into the family room?

02:21:26.000 Do you go into the family bathroom in between?

02:21:27.000 That's probably the...

02:21:28.000 Yeah.

02:21:28.000 That's the safe bet.

02:21:29.000 It's ironic.

02:21:30.000 She's anti...

02:21:31.000 She's not going to make a family with what there's going on.

02:21:34.000 That's so confusing.

02:21:35.000 That is so confusing.

02:21:36.000 How does that happen?

02:21:36.000 She's not going to get pregnant.

02:21:38.000 Not yet, but maybe in our microwave machines, you can also have a baby.

02:21:45.000 Change your gender.

02:21:46.000 That would be a way where transgender people would probably be the most happy, where they didn't have to hormonally become a woman through surgery, but instead, they just actually turn you into a woman.

02:21:59.000 Bam!

02:22:02.000 Microwave you.

02:22:02.000 Done.

02:22:03.000 Oh, you want to be a girl?

02:22:04.000 Bing.

02:22:04.000 And maybe go back.

02:22:05.000 Well, if that's the case.

02:22:06.000 Yeah, if you could go there and back, where do I sign up?

02:22:10.000 Yeah, and back.

02:22:11.000 Yeah.

02:22:12.000 Because I'm going.

02:22:12.000 I'm going to go check this out.

02:22:14.000 See what it's like for a couple of days.

02:22:15.000 Yeah, a week.

02:22:16.000 Go to Vegas.

02:22:17.000 Yeah.

02:22:18.000 Let a couple dudes bang you.

02:22:20.000 Now that's another weird.

02:22:22.000 Now it's weird.

02:22:23.000 Now it's weird again.

02:22:24.000 Because you still have that memory when you back.

02:22:27.000 Yeah, you're like, hey, I can't erase this.

02:22:29.000 I can't even tell my friends.

02:22:31.000 Like, dude, I went to Vegas.

02:22:32.000 It's always in the back of your throat.

02:22:38.000 Yeah, so that would have to be a don't ever.

02:22:44.000 Giant issue.

02:22:45.000 Yuck.

02:22:49.000 So yeah, you say you would try it, but then you have to have the memory of trying it.

02:22:53.000 Yeah, you'd have to have the memory.

02:22:54.000 But you could maybe pass that you were a girl.

02:22:57.000 Maybe, but what if a guy's trying to fuck you?

02:22:59.000 He'd be like, hey, no, dude.

02:23:00.000 No.

02:23:01.000 No.

02:23:02.000 But he's like, but you're a girl.

02:23:03.000 Would you go random, or would you think you'd do a friend of yours that you'd...

02:23:08.000 Like, would you give Eddie Bravo a call, like, Eddie, I heard some shit.

02:23:14.000 Let's go.

02:23:14.000 Not only would I do a random, I would wear a mask, like, fucking eyes wide shut.

02:23:18.000 I'd be like, that's the way to go.

02:23:19.000 No, no, because you as a girl, you wouldn't look like you as a girl.

02:23:23.000 Right.

02:23:23.000 I'd be like, hotter.

02:23:25.000 Hotter.

02:23:26.000 Yeah.

02:23:26.000 Way attractive.

02:23:27.000 I'd have curly hair.

02:23:28.000 Yeah, because goddamn, imagine if you zapped over to the female and you were just...

02:23:34.000 Right.

02:23:35.000 Precious.

02:23:37.000 Precious.

02:23:37.000 Yeah.

02:23:38.000 They're like, oh, you want this?

02:23:39.000 Here you go.

02:23:40.000 That would be a problem.

02:23:41.000 That would be a real problem.

02:23:43.000 Yeah.

02:23:48.000 Fuck yeah.

02:23:49.000 So they made you wear a rainbow shirt.

02:23:51.000 Yeah, a rainbow shirt.

02:23:52.000 Isn't that funny?

02:23:53.000 They sold it.

02:23:53.000 I had a bit about that, too, about how gay people took over the rainbow.

02:23:57.000 I'm like, it's theirs.

02:23:58.000 The rainbow used to be in leprechauns.

02:23:59.000 Pots of gold.

02:24:01.000 Nope, not anymore.

02:24:02.000 Not anymore.

02:24:03.000 They took that shit over.

02:24:05.000 They own it.

02:24:05.000 I don't fully understand.

02:24:07.000 I'm sure someone will comment on your YouTube page here and tell you why.

02:24:12.000 They just took it over.

02:24:14.000 Why the rainbow?

02:24:16.000 Well, it's just beautiful.

02:24:17.000 Everybody can fit along.

02:24:19.000 It's beautiful colors.

02:24:20.000 They're flamboyant.

02:24:21.000 They like a lot of colors.

02:24:22.000 Put all those colors together, like, yay!

02:24:24.000 Everyone's getting along.

02:24:26.000 But are all of them flamboyant?

02:24:27.000 No.

02:24:28.000 Can you say all?

02:24:29.000 No, there's bears.

02:24:30.000 Right, there has to be.

02:24:31.000 There's bears, yeah.

02:24:32.000 Because...

02:24:33.000 Some of the guys still like to do hunt.

02:24:36.000 Guy shit.

02:24:37.000 Guy shit.

02:24:38.000 Butt fuck.

02:24:39.000 Yeah.

02:24:40.000 Fine.

02:24:41.000 Nothing wrong with that.

02:24:42.000 But the words is what kills them.

02:24:44.000 Yeah, an F word.

02:24:45.000 Don't say it.

02:24:46.000 Donald Cerrone.

02:24:47.000 Donald Cerrone, please make a donation here.

02:24:50.000 It's one of those words that, as growing up as kids, it didn't really mean a gay person.

02:24:54.000 Like, Louis C.K. had a whole bit about it.

02:24:56.000 That it didn't mean...

02:24:57.000 You didn't...

02:24:58.000 But we're supposed to evolve our vocabulary.

02:24:59.000 Yeah, you might call you a faggot.

02:25:01.000 That's the idea.

02:25:01.000 I don't mean it like that.

02:25:02.000 I just mean...

02:25:03.000 Right.

02:25:03.000 You don't mean this is a gay person.

02:25:04.000 You might call you a bitch.

02:25:05.000 I don't mean you're a female dog.

02:25:07.000 I just mean you're...

02:25:07.000 It's just...

02:25:08.000 Right.

02:25:08.000 It's the same word.

02:25:10.000 Right.

02:25:10.000 It's just like, bitch is like level one...

02:25:12.000 But faggot is like the gold level.

02:25:14.000 Yeah.

02:25:15.000 It's like, listen, we're not playing around.

02:25:16.000 You said it.

02:25:17.000 You.

02:25:19.000 Right?

02:25:19.000 It's like cunt.

02:25:21.000 If I call a girl at the gas didn't hear like, you fucking cunt.

02:25:25.000 Bro, that's...

02:25:26.000 I went there.

02:25:27.000 I went to the end.

02:25:28.000 Defcon 5. Yeah.

02:25:29.000 But if we're in London or we're in the Nomads Land Australia and they just say, oh, you fucking cheeky cunt.

02:25:36.000 Yeah.

02:25:36.000 You know?

02:25:37.000 They think it's funny.

02:25:38.000 Cunt, cunt, cunt.

02:25:38.000 Yeah.

02:25:38.000 It's the word they use.

02:25:40.000 Yeah.

02:25:40.000 So I guess because they use it all.

02:25:44.000 I mean, I don't know.

02:25:45.000 Just words are words.

02:25:47.000 Yeah.

02:25:47.000 Words are words.

02:25:48.000 But it's – if they're ineffective – But they hurt so bad.

02:25:53.000 Yeah, some of them do.

02:25:54.000 You can kill.

02:25:56.000 Especially if there's some reality to it.

02:25:58.000 That's the thing.

02:25:59.000 I promise today we're going to get some good ones.

02:26:02.000 There's going to be some...

02:26:03.000 Yeah, but you can't read those.

02:26:04.000 I'm going to read them.

02:26:06.000 Why waste your time?

02:26:07.000 You're such a big...

02:26:09.000 You're living your life.

02:26:10.000 You're this big character.

02:26:12.000 Why pay tribute to these text messages?

02:26:14.000 I love living the life.

02:26:15.000 I wish more people would get out there and live life, Joe.

02:26:17.000 Yeah.

02:26:18.000 Yeah, I get so much shit for that.

02:26:19.000 Like, I can't believe you're not training.

02:26:20.000 You're out living.

02:26:21.000 And I said, man, I look at my life like I'm retired right now.

02:26:24.000 Like, why do I want to do all this cool shit when I'm 50?

02:26:27.000 And I can't.

02:26:27.000 I can do it now.

02:26:28.000 Right.

02:26:29.000 In my prime.

02:26:30.000 Well, also, when people are young, they do whatever they want to do.

02:26:34.000 And then it's like, when you get older, you're supposed to become more serious.

02:26:37.000 Sure.

02:26:37.000 I remember when you decided to try to be more serious for a while.

02:26:40.000 Yeah.

02:26:40.000 And it fucked you up.

02:26:42.000 Fucked me up.

02:26:43.000 It wasn't the way to go.

02:26:44.000 It limited your expression.

02:26:45.000 Yeah.

02:26:46.000 That's a good way to throw it in.

02:26:47.000 Yeah.

02:26:48.000 Because I love doing all this wild, living life.

02:26:51.000 It's part of who you are is having fun.

02:26:53.000 Yeah.

02:26:54.000 It's like if I got here and you're like, cowboy, change the plans.

02:26:57.000 We're not doing the podcast.

02:26:58.000 We're going to skydive.

02:26:59.000 And I'd be like, are you speaking to my heart?

02:27:02.000 We're going to do a podcast from skydiving.

02:27:05.000 From skydiving.

02:27:05.000 So tell me about Winkle John.

02:27:08.000 Yeah.

02:27:09.000 What happened with Mike Perry?

02:27:11.000 He sucks.

02:27:14.000 Why did they make you wear a rainbow shirt?

02:27:17.000 Why a rainbow?

02:27:18.000 What does it say on it?

02:27:19.000 It would have 30 seconds.

02:27:20.000 It would be a very short podcast.

02:27:25.000 Well, the UFC has to do damage control on savages, which is hilarious.

02:27:29.000 They have a bunch of people like you and Mike Perry and, you know, fill in the blank.

02:27:33.000 All these savages running around saying crazy shit.

02:27:35.000 You go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

02:27:37.000 Whoa.

02:27:38.000 Do you ever go to Derek Lewis's Instagram page?

02:27:41.000 Yeah, I love it.

02:27:42.000 Best goddamn Instagram page online.

02:27:43.000 I love it.

02:27:44.000 Where does he get the videos?

02:27:45.000 I don't know, man.

02:27:46.000 He's got all of them.

02:27:48.000 All of them.

02:27:48.000 What is it?

02:27:49.000 Is it The Beast MMA? Yeah.

02:27:53.000 What is his...

02:27:54.000 Plugin.

02:27:55.000 Yeah.

02:27:55.000 Beast UFC. Derek Lewis.

02:27:57.000 Shout out to Derek.

02:27:58.000 Derek Lewis is fighting Volcon.

02:28:01.000 He's fighting that giant Russian dude.

02:28:04.000 Tell him, Derek, let's not do the same.

02:28:05.000 I know your back was hurt.

02:28:06.000 I know your back was hurt the last fight, but let's...

02:28:09.000 That was the craziest fight I've ever seen in my life.

02:28:11.000 Let's throw more than five punches this fight.

02:28:14.000 It's almost like he was waiting.

02:28:15.000 Yeah.

02:28:15.000 Alexander Volkov.

02:28:17.000 The Beast UFC. He's got the most hilarious Instagram page.

02:28:21.000 And anytime there's anything fucked up that there's a video, it's on his.

02:28:25.000 It's on his.

02:28:25.000 He's on it all day.

02:28:27.000 That is so bad.

02:28:28.000 You see the guy's shit.

02:28:29.000 He just shits.

02:28:30.000 Watch.

02:28:31.000 And darts.

02:28:32.000 It's just so crazy that he puts all these in there.

02:28:38.000 Where do you get that?

02:28:40.000 He gets all of them.

02:28:41.000 There's one that he has like real recently within the last couple weeks of this guy standing on the side of the highway.

02:28:46.000 What is the girl with the boobs?

02:28:47.000 Yeah, sure.

02:28:48.000 Click on that.

02:28:49.000 What's happening here?

02:28:51.000 Somehow or another, the nipples aren't showing.

02:28:54.000 That's amazing.

02:28:55.000 Maybe they're a little higher.

02:28:56.000 Incredible control.

02:28:59.000 Those nipples are in the wrong place.

02:29:01.000 The nipples are supposed to be below those.

02:29:02.000 There should be some areola hanging out.

02:29:03.000 Yeah.

02:29:04.000 She's got no areola.

02:29:05.000 She's an alien.

02:29:07.000 That's barely a person.

02:29:08.000 Do you think aliens have beautiful girls or are they beautiful alien girls?

02:29:12.000 I think they gave up on pussy.

02:29:14.000 This is what I think.

02:29:15.000 Stop it.

02:29:15.000 What is this guy kissing this guy for?

02:29:17.000 Stop it.

02:29:19.000 If you think your life is bad, these are Siamese brother.

02:29:22.000 One is gay and they just got one ass.

02:29:25.000 Oh my god.

02:29:26.000 Oh my god.

02:29:29.000 Did you hear what that just said?

02:29:30.000 Is that real?

02:29:30.000 If you think your life is bad, one is gay and they have one ass.

02:29:35.000 Oh man.

02:29:36.000 This guy's kissing one of them.

02:29:38.000 That's the...

02:29:39.000 Is that real?

02:29:40.000 That's the gentle part.

02:29:41.000 Yeah.

02:29:42.000 The kissing.

02:29:43.000 I don't even want to know if that's real.

02:29:44.000 The he has one ass part is what clears into the arrest.

02:29:47.000 Scroll down if you can see the accident.

02:29:49.000 There's a highway video.

02:29:51.000 So this is fake.

02:29:51.000 Yeah, right there.

02:29:52.000 The jumping from outer space is...

02:29:54.000 Oh, no, that's not it.

02:29:55.000 I haven't seen that one.

02:29:56.000 I haven't seen the jumping from outer space one.

02:29:58.000 But there's one where a guy is standing on the side of the highway right next to a black SUV and someone plows into the SUV at full blast and someone else flies out of the back of the SUV, flies into the air, lands on their feet and starts walking.

02:30:14.000 Come on.

02:30:15.000 It's fucking crazy.

02:30:16.000 He pulls so many.

02:30:18.000 This is crazy.

02:30:19.000 How far back was it?

02:30:21.000 No.

02:30:22.000 Did they pull it?

02:30:23.000 Where's he at with the rattlesnake?

02:30:24.000 Yes.

02:30:25.000 What's the date of that?

02:30:26.000 What is the rattlesnake one happening?

02:30:29.000 Oh, yeah.

02:30:29.000 He probably got it pulled.

02:30:31.000 His shit gets pulled.

02:30:32.000 Does it get pulled?

02:30:33.000 I guess.

02:30:35.000 People find out about it.

02:30:36.000 What do you mean you haven't seen the outer space jump?

02:30:38.000 I haven't seen it.

02:30:39.000 That ain't it.

02:30:41.000 Whoa!

02:30:42.000 He crashes.

02:30:43.000 Has to crash.

02:30:43.000 Someone does.

02:30:48.000 Yeah, I love pushing the little...

02:30:53.000 A little glass button on the Instagram watching all the crazy videos.

02:30:56.000 Yeah.

02:30:58.000 Get on a tangent and go.

02:30:59.000 There's so many now.

02:31:01.000 It's like so much fucked up there.

02:31:03.000 Is this one?

02:31:03.000 No, this isn't the same one.

02:31:05.000 He's got so many of these, man.

02:31:06.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:31:10.000 What is this, a high-speed chase?

02:31:14.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:31:15.000 I'm going to wait for it.

02:31:18.000 Oh, boy.

02:31:19.000 I'm waiting for it.

02:31:21.000 It's probably one of those videos that loop.

02:31:23.000 Oh, here it is.

02:31:24.000 Right here.

02:31:24.000 Boom!

02:31:25.000 Ba-boom!

02:31:26.000 Tree.

02:31:27.000 Boom!

02:31:28.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:31:31.000 That one wasn't as good.

02:31:34.000 Yeah, the one where the guy flies out naked and starts walking on the highway is amazing.

02:31:39.000 God.

02:31:40.000 Maybe that's it.

02:31:41.000 Hold on.

02:31:41.000 Go back right there.

02:31:42.000 What is that one that looks like a bear standing up?

02:31:44.000 How would that one be it?

02:31:46.000 Is it a cat?

02:31:49.000 No, hold on.

02:31:49.000 Go back to it real quick.

02:31:51.000 That's a cat in a Roomba?

02:31:53.000 Oh, okay.

02:31:55.000 Imagine being as smooth as this cat.

02:31:57.000 Watch this.

02:31:58.000 The Roomba comes near him, touches him.

02:32:00.000 It's like, nah, bitch.

02:32:01.000 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

02:32:05.000 He's just used to the Roomba.

02:32:07.000 That's all that is.

02:32:10.000 Oh, yeah.

02:32:10.000 That's what it is.

02:32:13.000 Bitch.

02:32:14.000 Out.

02:32:15.000 Turn.

02:32:15.000 She better give the pussy for that.

02:32:19.000 Better, right?

02:32:19.000 They're ready to fight.

02:32:20.000 That looks like two cats.

02:32:21.000 The cat fight?

02:32:23.000 Jesus.

02:32:24.000 Cowboy, it's already 3.30.

02:32:26.000 What does that mean?

02:32:27.000 Time flew by.

02:32:28.000 God.

02:32:28.000 We just did three hours.

02:32:30.000 Welcome, motherfuckers.

02:32:31.000 That was awesome.

02:32:32.000 Yeah, hopefully they...

02:32:33.000 Hopefully people don't get mad at you for your use of...

02:32:37.000 The F word.

02:32:37.000 The equal use.

02:32:39.000 Equal use.

02:32:40.000 We shared that.

02:32:40.000 I used it only in reference to Time Cop.

02:32:46.000 It's one of those things, man.

02:32:50.000 We're limiting expression in strange ways today.

02:32:55.000 Yeah.

02:32:56.000 Half of it is as much about people getting mad at you and wanting to be able to censor you or to get control of you or to be angry at you or to shut you down or get you fired or get you to put that rainbow shirt on.

02:33:08.000 Yeah.

02:33:09.000 It's like half of it.

02:33:11.000 Hmm.

02:33:13.000 Well...

02:33:15.000 What are you going to do?

02:33:16.000 What are you going to do?

02:33:17.000 We're going to wait two years and we're going to get more stories when we come back.

02:33:21.000 Yeah.

02:33:21.000 So this Mike Perry fight is when?

02:33:23.000 November?

02:33:23.000 10th.

02:33:24.000 November 10th.

02:33:25.000 That's in Denver too, right?

02:33:26.000 Denver, Colorado.

02:33:27.000 Why don't I hear some crazy rumors about you thinking about moving back to Denver?

02:33:30.000 No, I'm just moving my family up there.

02:33:32.000 There's nothing really left for them in New Mexico.

02:33:34.000 I'm not there with Jackson.

02:33:35.000 I'm buying a house in Denver and move.

02:33:37.000 Oh, you are going to buy a house in Denver?

02:33:38.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:33:38.000 I'll move the wife and the kid up there and have them just fly back to the ranch and train.

02:33:42.000 Yeah.

02:33:43.000 BMF Ranch ain't going nowhere.

02:33:45.000 It's stuck.

02:33:45.000 Unless the cult leader wants to hit me up, buy it!

02:33:49.000 Other than that, no, it's just there.

02:33:50.000 But do you rather live in Denver?

02:33:52.000 I love it, yeah.

02:33:53.000 If I had my roots not been set, I'd have just gotten blindsided.

02:33:59.000 No, Denver's amazing.

02:34:01.000 It's one of the best mixes of country, city, beautiful scenery, but it has everything.

02:34:09.000 My mom, my grandma, they're all there.

02:34:12.000 The people are very cool.

02:34:13.000 It's a very cool city.

02:34:15.000 One of my all-time favorite places to go.

02:34:18.000 I agree.

02:34:19.000 It's one of my favorite places to go.

02:34:21.000 Alright, shout out to all the gay people.

02:34:22.000 Hope nobody was offended.

02:34:24.000 Hey!

02:34:24.000 Shout out to everybody else, bisexuals, trans people with big dicks.

02:34:29.000 Feel free to use that bathroom.

02:34:31.000 Just leave those kids alone.

02:34:33.000 Shout out to everybody out there just trying to be a good person.

02:34:37.000 Yes.

02:34:37.000 Shout out to everybody distributing that plant medicine.

02:34:40.000 That's it.

02:34:41.000 The earth grown.

02:34:42.000 Yeah.

02:34:42.000 Shout out to Paul Stamets.

02:34:43.000 That's it.

02:34:44.000 Dennis McKenna.

02:34:45.000 All you people.

02:34:46.000 Shout out to Young Jamie.

02:34:47.000 Hey.

02:34:48.000 How about that?

02:34:49.000 All right.

02:34:50.000 Well, listen, brother.

02:34:50.000 I'm glad we did this, man.

02:34:51.000 Thank you.

02:34:52.000 Absolutely.

02:34:52.000 Love you.

02:34:52.000 Love you too, man.

02:34:53.000 Donald Cowboy Cerrone, ladies and gentlemen.

02:34:55.000 We'll be back soon.

The Joe Rogan Experience - September 02, 2010

JRE MMA Show #39 with Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone

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